#i was expecting santa to give them naughty presents at least

[bitfruity]

why has it been so tame lately? what happened to showing ass and squaring over dildos? he was moaning for santa to come a couple days ago

and then santa comes and that’s it?? i’m gonna need more than that babe😩

[creonininkwell]

Christmas Drabble

It’s late I know, but I wanted to share this still, in compensation for the lack of Cuphead content lately. Long story drabble warning

Creon was actually on an expedition to suss out a possible lead to a magical artifact. She didn’t expect to make it home in time for Christmas. Heck, even Lucy/Devil didn’t think that they’d finish in time. Sadly the location and said artifact was a bust, since Mortimer Freeze didn’t have any particular artifact that fit that description. Thankfully, Creon and Lucy/Devil didn’t have to continue fighting Mortimer. Mortimer thought they were after the Icy Sugar Cubes he was guarding. Mortimer was a bit confused when the “intruders” were willing to stop fighting. Mortimer is so used to having to scare away thieves and intruders. In truth, it’s been too long since he’s had legit visitors who don’t mean him any ill-will. At least Creon has no ill will, Lucy/Devil was all for turning Mortimer into a puddle. Sometimes, chasing away said intruders is the only interaction Mortimer gets. 

Instead they attended his early (impromptu) Christmas party. Lucy/Devil begrudgingly went along with the festivities since Creon preferred to not prolong fighting, and she also felt sorry for Mortimer. Mortimer was clearly a lonely guy, with a heavy task of guarding the Icy Sugar Cubes. To cope with his prolonged isolation and the lack of visitors (and being wary of thieves coming after the Icy Sugar Cubes), he made his own cult and his own cult members. Creon managed to get Lucy/Devil to let loose and have fun when they had a skate-off on the very durable ice conjured by Mortimer. Creon is always paranoid about breaking the ice if she lets loose when ice-skating. They also let Mortimer show off his fortune-telling skills.

Creon immediately heads home, with hopes of getting home to enjoy Christmas with the Cup family. She definitely shocked them. At first they freaked out thinking she was an unhinged ax murderer that broke into the house. Creon managed to help salvage their burnt christmas tree by giving it a Charlie-Brown treatment. They cut off stray pine tree branches and tied them to twine or string, Then they lined those strings to form a 3D silhouette of a cone, and proceed to decorate with more handmade decorations of paper and origami. They can add another method of tree decorating to their tree-dition.

Maybe there are more days before Christmas eve so that gives Creon more time to prepare Lucy/Devil’s present. She was really lucky to have prepared the cup family’s presents before leaving for her expedition. Also they have time to prepare for food. The cup family get to have fun traditions of cooking more of Creon’s favorite dishes or winter treats. Creon also gets to test out using the Icy Sugar Cubes she was gifted to make Bingsu (Shaved Ice) or other desserts such as fresh fruit tarts. 

As for the Devil, when He does go to the North Pole to ask Santa about the “Nice” list, the results are quite different. In this AU, the Devil is still THE #1 on the “Naughty” list. But He did actually do a few good things. His overwhelming deeds of evil and malice overshadow those few good deeds. There were a few years where the Devil was actually decent in the Medieval period, and present day where He’s questionably okay as “Lucius Mayweather.”

The Devil is very confused and doesn’t remember that bit during the Medieval times. But then the Devil gets the brilliant idea of staying close with Creon all throughout as “Lucy.” Santa reluctantly agrees, but he keeps bringing up that the Devil is STILL technically lying to Creon by being in disguise. The Devil swears with confidence that He’ll be a “perfect” angel, and then immediately recoils in disgust at what He just said.

Lucy/Devil knocks on the Cup residence door, and Creon happens to answer the door. She did not expect a visit from Lucy, and He mostly doesn’t come by at all (except for the few times He initially hounded Creon for a date, so He could curse her with a demonic artifact). Lucy/Devil lies about how He wanted to spend Christmas with His good friend and maybe experience what it’s like to spend Christmas the “Plebeian way.” Creon is kinda annoyed, but also creeped out by how desperate Lucy is trying to get into the house. She tries to explain why He can’t just invite himself, how she still doesn’t trust Lucy around Cuphead and Mugman, and mostly everyone doesn’t like Him. Creon wants a stress-free (close to it) Christmas, and she knows Lucy will make things really stressful and uncomfortable for everyone. 

As Lucy/Devil tries to brute force His way through the door, He causes Creon to step back a bit. At the same time, Cuphead and Mugman were walking close by with something fragile or crucial for Christmas prep. One of them tripped over Creon’s legs, and chaos ensued. Two crying children, a mess, and a pissed off Creon. I’m not sure what they dropped. Maybe it was more personalized decorations for their “fixed” tree. Or some ingredient for a meal they were looking forward to tasting. Or it was their surprise present for Creon. Lucy/Devil realizes that He’s utterly f***ed. Creon is furious that Lucy/Devil made her boys cry. Creon rips into Him, telling Him to never darken their doorstep, and that He could forget about His present. Creon had originally prepared a gift for Him, but now she’s lost any goodwill for Him at that moment.

Lucy/Devil is in shock at being so rudely booted from the cottage. But most of all, He feels hurt and rejected. Not only were His plans to be “nice” ruined, but He was rejected and denied from even partaking in something. The feeling of rejection festers and now He’s in a horrible mood. In fact He’s in no mood to even hear out Santa’s other option to get on the “Nice” list. And why should He lower Himself to any other being? He’s the Devil, He bows to no one. He decides to just hold Santa hostage. And now with how hurt He feels, He wants everyone to hurt.

What better way to get what He wants AND hurt people than stealing everyone’s Christmas? If He can’t get His choo choo, no one gets their presents. Devil brings a small chunk of imps and demons to storm the North Pole. To be extra spiteful, He broadcasts all over the world that He has captured Santa and that Christmas is finished. Creon and the family were actually in the city getting some last minute supplies when the global broadcast was made. 

Creon decides to go and save Santa, for her boys. The Devil has not only ruined everyone’s Christmas, but He ruined the boys Christmas. She reluctantly takes the boys with her when they beg to go with her. After briefly making sure they’re equipped for the frigid cold and packed a few supplies, Creon manages to secure the fastest flight with Hildaberg. The boys secretly want to go to Santa in hopes that they can convince Santa to put Creon on the “Nice” list. They’re still horrified at the concept of Santa not existing, since Santa has been around for so long in this world. In a way, they want to give Creon a piece of a childhood she was deprived of.

The journey to Santa’s Workshop was a bit rough, due to the elements and cold. Creon was actually guided by a large white reindeer. All three were able to hitch a ride with their ethereal guide. Along the way, they also ran into some angry winter denizens that heard the white reindeer’s call. They happen to be Santa’s oldest friends and also provide certain supplies for Santa’s toy production. They came to assist Creon in saving Santa.

Mortimer Freeze had heard rumors about a crazy b!t(h going to save Santa from the Devil. Realizing it’s his new friend, he sends his whale to ferry some snow golems to help Creon. Due to the Devil’s hostile takeover, the magic that kept the workshop hidden and secure was weakened. That and the yuletide beings know the way. Let’s just say that the imps guarding outside were not expecting someone to actually storm the workshop.

The rescue party easily subdues all the imps and the demons. The white reindeer freed all of Santa’s reindeer and proceeded to riot. Cuphead and Mugman have fun pelting imps with their slingshots and just causing a lot of chaos and property damage. While a siege was taking place, the Devil was threatening Santa into putting the Devil on the “Nice” list. Apparently, Santa won’t give anyone a present if they’re not on the “Nice” list.

Finally the Devil got the brilliant idea to threaten to destroy the presents instead. It’s at that moment that Creon rushes into Santa’s office, and yeets a giant, mahogany nutcracker at the Devil. A brawl ensues. With Santa freed, he’s able to call for the E.L.F.S (Effective Liberating Flight Squad) to help (guess which film I referenced). With Creon wielding the giant spoon , she’s made it easier to subdue the Devil with her new allies.

Sadly, a small chunk of presents were destroyed during the chaos, and some parts of the workshop are in need of repair. Santa uses his magic to slowly get things operational again. Santa’s friends pitch in and bring supplies needed. Creon also persuaded (threatens)  the remaining imps and demons that they need to pitch in as reparation for assaulting the North Pole. Stickler and Elf Stickler do end up pointing out that they do need to “pay up.” The hostile takeover was an unprovoked offense, so the Devil has to deal. 

Now the problem is that there’s not enough time for Santa to deliver the presents. Then Santa asks Creon to help deliver. Creon is unsure how she’d be of any help since she doesn’t have magic; only for the white reindeer to nudge Creon into accepting the role. Santa and all the other winter denizens are familiar with this mysterious reindeer. It rarely comes to strangers or even anyone else. Only Santa and other winter demi-beings know of it. Legends say that Santa’s reindeer are descendants of this very reindeer.

The reindeer is quite comfortable with helping Creon in this rather daunting task. Daunting because it’s freaking Santa Claus, for realsies. Someone Creon never thought she’d ever meet in her lifetime, no thanks to her gene-donor’s malicious child-rearing skills (or lack of). At this point, Creon got fed up with just calling the reindeer “buddy” and asked if it wanted a name. To everyone’s surprise, the Reindeer cleverly reveals its name with kiddy alphabet blocks, spelling Lior.

With Santa going light-speed, and Creon covering other regions of the world, they actually make it in time. Creon actually brought Cuphead and Mugman to be her eyes and ears when delivering presents without having to enter houses or squeeze through chimneys. Creon’s been getting more creative with using the spoon to deliver presents. Some of Mortimer’s tinier snow minions help out as well.

They managed to finish everything on the stroke of midnight. The workshop is fully repaired and operational. The elves had prepared some refreshments and treats so everyone is chilling and having a mini Christmas party. The Devil is still bound in magical wrapping paper and ribbons, sulking in a corner, guarded by the E.L.F.S members. Henchman occasionally tries to feed the Devil some hot cocoa or cookies.

Santa reveals that he decided to give Cuphead and Mugman their presents personally as a job well done. Both boys are ecstatic, especially Cuphead. Cuphead didn’t think he’d be on the “Nice” list since he was aware that he was a bit naughty this year. When Santa reveals Cuphead’s present, the same train set the Devil wanted, everyone nearby witnesses the Devil’s brief joy at the train set.

Creon is the first one to connect the dots, and she is pissed and completely drained at the absurdity of it all. When Santa confirms that all of this fuss was because the Devil wanted to get on the “Nice” list to get a toy train and failed to be “nice,” everyone nearby is quite flabbergasted about the situation. The Devil is embarrassed that He’s been outed, but He gets more pissed when He notices that Creon is actually looking at Him with pity. 

The Cup brothers then remember their REAL mission for tagging along for the North Pole. They plead their case to Santa to put Creon on the “Nice” list. Creon is really touched by this, but she assures them that her meeting the OG real Santa is already good enough for her. But lo and behold, Santa reveals that due to Creon’s presence, Santa finally decided on making a third list for people in-between the “nice” and “naughty” scale. They won’t get the present they want, but they’ll get some form of gift to acknowledge that their good efforts have been noticed.

Creon is honestly confused, because she can’t be that one exception and there must’ve been others like her before. Surprisingly, not a lot. And if there were, they’ve fallen out of the Christmas spirit, become too jaded, or slid too far into the “Naughty” scale. Creon is overwhelmed as Santa explains how moved he was with Creon’s many moments of altruism, protectiveness, and love during her time here in Inkwell. Now, since Creon personally came to free Santa and help him, that’s automatically bumped her up to the “Nice” list. 

Then Creon asks Santa if she can forfeit her spot on the “Nice” list for someone else instead. She asks that the Devil take her spot so He can get the train set He desperately wants. Everyone is shocked. The Devil is shocked, then enraged at the thought of His enemy giving Him any ounce of pity. Creon legitimately feels sorry for the Devil, and how He actually tried to be “nice” for once in His immortal life, only to fail miserably and resort to blackmailing Santa.

Creon can empathize with how difficult it is to be “nice” or civil to people, especially people that annoy her or just downright deplorable. In a way, with how $h!tty this year probably was for Him (losing souls, getting humiliated and sucker-punched), she can see how He probably wanted something nice for a change.  

Cuphead and Mugman are really outraged, but they begrudgingly respect her decision. Then Cuphead has an epiphany and tells Creon to keep her earned “nice” spot. Cuphead can kind of understand where the Devil is coming from. Cuphead also has a difficult time being nice, and he admitted this initially. But after the memorable memories of tonight, he truly understands what Elder Kettle meant about how Christmas was about cherishing people close and dear.

And Creon has been a great example of compassion and goodwill (most of the time), that he wants to extend that goodwill to the one being who clearly needs it the most. After all, it’s not like anyone else is going to give the Devil a present, right? Cuphead also explains to Mugman that he’s going to remember this night and cherish it. It’s not everyday that a kid goes to Santa’s workshop, helps save Santa and Christmas, and effectively torment the Devil with good ol’ kindness.

Cuphead decides to give his train set to the Devil, despite how vehemently the Devil froths and rages about not wanting any pity presents. Seeing how the Devil is refusing the coveted train, Creon and the Cup brothers start being more aggressive in wishing the Devil a merry Christmas. Then they start piling on why they want to thank the Devil for putting them in scenarios that test and strengthen their bonds. Each scenario brought them closer than ever and reminded them how much they cherish each other. The Devil is begging at this point to be freed from being tortured with kindness.

The Devil is still gift-wrapped so He has to resort to grabbing His pitchfork with His teeth to teleport Him and the army back to Hell. Cuphead gave the train set to Henchman to carry since the Devil kept trying to bite them. Lior actually gifts Creon a peridot gem, by stamping its hoof on the ground. Creon is touched but sad that she has nothing to repay it. Lior seems to not need anything. But it does seem melancholy as it gazes at Creon. Lior gives Creon a departing nudge before going back into the northern wilds.

Santa then gives the tired Cups and Creon a ride back to the cottage. Before leaving, Santa gives Creon a small token; he uses Christmas magic to make Lior’s peridot gem glow with warmth and it is fashioned into a necklace. Creon is honestly tearing up at her first gift from the real Santa. Seeing how Creon is tearing up, he also asks Creon if she’d like a hug. She doesn’t refuse the offer for a hug.

They see Elder Kettle and the goat sleeping near the fireplace, as if he were waiting for them to return. They all decide to just bundle up some blankets and pillows and sleep next to the fire.

When morning comes, everyone is somewhat sleepy but ready to enjoy Christmas. They start off with exchanging gifts. The Cup family has a big surprise for Creon. Elder Kettle reveals that they’ve officially and legally adopted Creon into the family registry. Despite knowing that Creon won’t be here for long, they wanted her to know that she is family to them. Creon is overwhelmed by this. They enjoy preparing for dinner and treats to enjoy, while Creon and Elder Kettle swap stories. Also Creon gives the Cup bros a beginner crossbow lesson. They really wanted to test out their new crossbows that Creon gifted them.

As for the Devil, He immediately crawled to bed after a full hour of burning off the magic gift wrapping. He moped and sulked in embarrassment until He fell asleep. When Christmas morning came, He almost didn’t want to get up. He only got up reluctantly due to Henchman’s insistence. He is surprised to see a giant train set waiting for him. Henchman explains that he built it himself all night, since he figured the Devil wasn’t going to enjoy the train that Cuphead had gifted Him. Henchman had actually chatted up with some of Santa’s elves during that mini Christmas party, so Henchman was able to build it much faster.

The Devil is immensely touched by Henchman’s gift and forethought. Henchman asks the Devil what He plans to do with Cuphead’s train. The Devil’s mood sours and almost burns that train on sight. Instead He orders Henchman to put it away and out of sight. Henchman doesn’t comment about how the boss hasn’t burnt it ash or ordered for permanent disposal. 

Later on, the Devil decides to go out and see if He can squeeze in some Christmas chaos before the day ends. Right before He’s about to start some $h!t, He notices Creon from afar. It seems like she’s been looking for someone, and even asking some people if they’ve seen “Lucy.” Devil is curious so He dons the“Lucius” disguise.

When Lucy/Devil approaches Creon, He’s surprised that Creon wanted to give Him a present. Creon actually apologizes for her harsh words yesterday about not giving Lucy His gift. The other stuff about Him being an invasive and rude creep, she’s not sorry. Creon confesses that despite her distrust of Lucy, she is still grateful for His help. She would’ve died sooner if it weren’t for Lucy. Lucy/Devil doesn’t know what to do with the gratitude, and is shocked that Creon still intended to give Him a present.

Creon had been using some rare spider silk to create a silken ascot tie. Lucy/Devil knows how rare that particular spider silk is. He was there when they barely got out of that one expedition alive. He’s really touched by the care that was put into the handmade gift. Creon has had to practice a lot with using EK’s sewing machine.

Instead of casually snarking about how plain it is, Lucy/Devil genuinely thanks Creon for the gift. Creon is actually surprised by how genuine He is at that moment. They both depart to their respective residences. Creon actually smiles giddily at the thought of calling the cottage “home.” Even though it’s temporary, for now it’s home. The Devil completely forgot about causing chaos after getting a hand-made gift. Suffice it to say, almost everyone had a good Christmas.

[daylighteclipsed]

This scene, like Cuphead’s nightmare about the Devil in s1a, directly clues the audience into the fact that, despite his catchphrase, Cuphead does really worry about some things. He’s not as cautious as his brother, but he’s not as carefree as he seems, either. Considering “I ain’t too worried about it” is what Cuphead says when he’s screaming himself awake from nightmares, it seems more like a coping mechanism than something he sincerely feels and believes. A lie he tells himself and others to make himself feel better.

Cuphead doesn’t lie to (who he believes is) Santa Clause. He can’t even if he wants to because Santa has seen everything. But he’s honest and vulnerable here in a way we don’t see very often.

I think this scene also subtly communicates that (again, despite appearances) Cuphead’s mistakes have stuck with him. The dialogue is pretty vague, but given the focus is on Cuphead individually, I think we can assume this includes (if is not mainly about) the big, plot things, like owing the Devil his soul and getting his brother taken to Hell. Cuphead doesn’t try to defend his mistakes or wave them away. He’s made bad choices, and he feels bad.

He’s ashamed… When you’re a kid who celebrates Christmas, Santa Clause is like the ultimate judge. Are you naughty or nice? Do you deserve presents? Have you earned them? Or have you misbehaved too much? Do you deserve to be rewarded for your behavior or punished? And when you’re a kid, the idea of receiving no presents for Christmas is devastating… Both Cuphead and Mugman cry in Holiday Tree-dition when they think no Christmas tree means no presents.

Cuphead is expecting to be punished. He’s not expecting to get any presents for Christmas. He doesn’t think he deserves it, and he doesn’t think that Santa thinks he deserves it. But he doesn’t cry. He just kind of… accepts it. He’s prepared for this.

Cuphead was scared Santa would go so far as to skip his whole house because of him… Like, not even stop by to give Mugman or Elder Kettle presents. This little boy was worried his whole family might be punished because of him (which, again, reminds me of his nightmare in 1a where his family is hurt because the Devil is after him). Cuphead doesn’t cry. If anything, he probably feels some relief. At least Mugman and Elder Kettle have presents. At least Cuphead didn’t ruin Christmas for them.

It’s a moment of maturity that still feels distinctly child-like, I suppose. And it breaks my heart. Was Cuphead asleep before this, or was he up all night worrying and that’s why he heard “Santa” arrive? Can you imagine how awful that’d feel, to see your family wake up in the morning to no presents and know it’s your fault? Idk Cuphead can be a real jerk sometimes, but the kid’s not evil or heartless, and there’s more to him than meets the eye.

yeah Mugman saying his brother’s goin to hell when he dies ha ha funny but. Cuphead being genuinely worried Santa Clause would skip his house cause he thinks he’s been too bad to still be on the good list. Hurts

[sserpente]

A/N: Requests from three anons. Naughty, naughtier, naughtiest. Enjoy, everyone!

Words: 2426 Warnings: shameless Christmas smut

Additional NSFW warnings: dom!Loki, usage of anal sex toy, orgasm control, forced orgasm(s)

-

Feeling all warm and fuzzy, you snuggled in closer to your mischievous boyfriend. After three weeks of persistent persuasion, you had finally talked Loki into watching Christmas movies with you and to be quite frank, you were convinced he secretly enjoyed them.

A comedy was on tonight, of a young couple suffering from the usual pre-Christmas stress including eccentric in-laws and turkeys burnt to a cinder. You had been giggling throughout, knowing very well it was a rather accurate representation of how chaotic Christmas could be. In fact, you could hardly wait for this year, given it would be Loki’s and your first time celebrating it together as a couple.

“I recall you telling me that those sex scenes in films are staged unless you watch a… what was it?”

“Porn movie?”

“Yes. I must admit, she is terrible at staging it.” You quirked an eyebrow at him.

“She is doing it on purpose. She is faking her orgasm.” You explained, staring at the screen. The male protagonist was wearing a Santa hat and a fake white beard—nothing else. He had surprised his girlfriend who had just gotten home from a long and exhausting day at work and even though she appreciated it, she was just too tired for sex.

“Why in the nine would she do that? That is rather pathetic for the male part.”

You blushed. You too had faked your orgasms sometimes when you were in bed with Loki.

“Um… well… she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings. You know women take longer to get there and sometimes… they’re just too tired or not in the right mind set.” You yawned. “Much like today.” You added.

Loki paused the movie with but a wave of his hand and turned to face, looking you dead in the eye. “Are you implying something?” Oh, shit… you had a feeling this would bruise his godly ego.

“I… I-I only did it a few times. Once or twice. Okay, maybe a little bit more often than that. B-but that doesn’t mean I don’t ever—“

“You are what?” He bellowed. There we go.

“Loki! Listen to me, you are the most mind-blowing lover I’ve ever had. It’s like I just said, sometimes I’m too tired or have so much going on at work that I can’t let go… it’s got nothing to do with you!” You insisted.

“That is unacceptable.” He said after an uncomfortable break.

“W-what does that mean?”

Loki gave you a meaningful look. His tone was downright spiteful when he spoke again. “Let’s just finish the movie, shall we?”

You were a little surprised he let you cuddle with him again but you couldn’t focus on the film anymore anyway.

“Are you… mad at me?” You chirped after a while, your cheek against his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat.

“No. I am not.” You were not convinced. He was up to something.

-

The next morning started all but merry. You woke Loki with a few wet kisses, quietly singing O Christmas Tree to elicit a response.

Loki groaned, a smile playing on his lips. He didn’t need a lot of sleep but he truly didn’t like being woken up by anyone but his own body when it deemed him rested enough.

You giggled, his raven hair tickling your skin. You barely made it out of bed to open the very last door of your advent calendar and then moved to get dressed. As usual, Loki was a lot faster, simply magicking clothes onto his body without so much as blinking.

You were late. The Avengers were probably already waiting for you in the living room where Tony had put up a massive Christmas tree. And massive it was—it stood almost twenty feet high, about six metres, as far as you were concerned, and the billionaire had had to use his suit to hang up all the baubles and ornaments as well as the shining star on top. And before you had gone to sleep last night, you had sneaked your presents for everyone under the tree.

You bit your lower lip, hoping that Loki wasn’t still taken aback by your involuntary confession last night. You had meant what you had said. He was an amazing lover but sometimes… you just weren’t feeling it but still didn’t want to disappoint him or let him down. A sigh escaped your lips.

“Come on, Trickster, let’s see what Santa brought.”

“Hold up.” Loki said. “Turn around for me.”

You raised your eyebrows, not expecting anything out of the ordinary. So you did as you were told and gasped when he forced you to bend over so your upper body came to rest on the bed again, your backside in plain view for him to admire.

“Hey! Loki!” You giggled during your weak protest, then bit your lower lip. Did he want to… now? Hmm… Christmas morning sex. Your heartbeat sped up as you wiggled your behind a bit, arousal already pooling between your legs.

You heard him chuckle behind you but instead of his hard cock at your wet entrance, you suddenly felt something hard and cold press against your back entrance.

“L-Loki…” You had tried toys of the like before, especially right before sex and you had enjoyed it very much but now was definitely not the time. You were about to head downstairs to the Christmas tree, exchanging presents and having a hearty breakfast with the Avengers, there was no way you were going to…

You gasped when he slid the clearly lubed plug into your rear, and it went in with little resistance. Loki knew your body so well it almost scared you. That, and you were already soaking wet and responsive to your butthole being pampered in such a way.

“Hmm… are we enjoying ourselves?” Loki mused, smirking as he led you over to the mirror to let you admire his work. The plug was a little bigger than what you were using for sex but still oddly comfortable to wear. What stood out the most to you, however, was the fact it was golden, with a green jewel attached to it and decorating your buttocks. “You are positively dripping, my dear.”

You bit your lower lip once more, mouth all of a sudden completely dry.

“It looks hot and beautiful at the same time.” You admitted, meeting his blue eyes in the mirror.

“Consider it a Christmas gift.” He said with a wink. Your eyes widened when he slid your comfy trousers back on and turned to leave the room.

“Hang on there. What are you doing?”

Loki tilted his head, playing innocent. “I am meeting my brother and his silly friends for Christmas.”

“W-what… oh my goodness. This is about last night, isn’t it? You want revenge, is that right?”

Loki smirked. “I have no idea what you are talking about, my love. Now… let us head downstairs, shall we?” You only glared at him in response, tensing up when his hand wrapped around your arm and stopped you in the threshold. “You will regret it dearly if you secretly try to take this out before I allow you to do so.” He hissed into your ear. Your walls clenched. This was certainly going to be your most interesting Christmas yet.

-

You had been right indeed. Crouching down to get the presents out from under the tree proved extremely difficult wearing a butt plug—at least, it proved extremely difficult to not moan in front of everyone.

Loki’s smirk never faltered, not even when he received your present and thanked you with a passionate kiss right in front of the Avengers. If only they knew… you had no idea what else Loki had in store for you once the two of you were alone again.

Christmas dinner posed as equally difficult. Sitting calmly at the table, enjoying the delicious turkey and treats and conversing without wiggling around like a child was nearly impossible. For the first time ever, you were glad when the festivities were over and you could finally retreat to bed, hoping that Loki would fuck your brains out before you fell asleep tonight.

You stood in front of him, arms akimbo when his clothes melted off of his body and he threw back the covers of the bed to get comfortable when you returned from the bathroom.

“Are you serious? Loki!”

“Oh dear… I almost forgot.” He lied, once again smirking like a cat that got the cream. “Lie down, little minx. Tell me, are you aching?” He teased, chuckling darkly.

“No!” You spat sarcastically, unable to hide your amusement. “I have been horny all day, you tease!”

“Have you now?” He was grinning now. Your heart skipped a beat when he snapped his fingers and then pointed at the bed for you to lie down. At this point, you did not even want to pretend to resist and be bratty for a bit.

Eager for your release (and knowing fully well this was his vengeance) you climbed on the mattress and gaped up at him with anticipation. But Loki took his time. Slowly and while eyeing you like a wild predator he joined in bed, tugging at your clothes in the process.

“Take them off.” He growled. You were panting when you did as you were told, all until you were completely naked except for the butt plug still snugly inside of your rear. A squeal escaped your lips when he lunged at you with a start, grabbing your hips and pulling you into a lying position. His scrutinising and downright lustful gaze never left yours as he sneaked his hand between your legs, right where you wanted him the most and dipped a finger in your folds.

“My… you are gushing.” You bucked your hips up against him, too impatient to listen to him talk dirty like that but his hand was already travelling upwards again, fingertips ghosting over your skin and leaving a trail of goose bumps behind. You gasped when he circled your left breast and played with your already hardening nipple until you were whimpering for him.

“Loki, please…” You begged, biting your lower lip to appear innocent. The God of Mischief chuckled.

“So desperate?” He uttered, fingers returning to your cunt. You shivered when his thumb ghosted over your clit, giving it a gentle stroke. You had been on edge all day it would not at all take you long to finally be granted your long-awaited relief, even less so when Loki buried two of his long fingers inside you without any forewarning, curling them to massage your g-spot and circling your impatient clit with his thumb. His fingers were magic. No, he was magic. If only the world knew what a skilled lover Loki was they would change their mind about him being a megalomaniac villain and shower him with affection and fanmerch instead.

Moaning, you threw your head back, meeting the thrusts of his digits by bucking your hips hungrily. Loki could tell you were close already. You were tightening around his fingers, your breathing so fast he feared you might lose consciousness.

A satisfied growl escaped his lips when you came, milking his fingers as endless waves of pleasure rolled over your body, making you moan his name. Only Loki did not stop once all the bliss slowly started to fade away, your clit complaining about the ongoing stimulation.

“Again. Now.” Loki growled.

“W-what?”

“I want another. How can I be sure you truly came, after all?” He mused. You groaned. So it was revenge after all. He knew exactly you had come.

“I d-did… w-what… I can’t… Loki… oh, fuck…” He knew you could. He knew your body could. Still fingering you relentlessly, he tossed you straight into another hot orgasm as his thumb returned to your clit. Your back arched, fingers digging into the bed sheets as you clenched rhythmically around his long digits. Heavens, it felt even more intense with the butt plug still snugly inside of you.

“L-Loki… stop… s-stop, please…” You breathed, unable to form a proper sentence.

“Oh no, my dear… you can give me one more. Just so I can be completely sure.” He replied hoarsely, knowing that you could take it and would react differently if you truly had enough. It was the mix of pleasure and your strong feelings for him that made your mind turn like a spinning wheel, unable to stop or escape the tornado of emotions and relentless bliss. So he kept going, tormenting your already overstimulated bundle of nerves until your toes curled.

“Don’t you ever dare fake an orgasm with me again.” He growled into your ear, his hot breath brushing against your skin. Pleasant shivers ran up and down your spine, yet you were unable to answer him. Instead, you wrapped your arms around him and dug your nails into his back, pulling his upper body closer to yours to urge him on, his name leaving your lips like a prayer as he brought you to a third orgasm making you see stars.

Panting, it took you quite a while to come down from your high again as Loki helped you ride out your climax before finally removing his now slick fingers and licking them clean with relish. When he made no move to position himself between your legs and get some relief himself, you let your head fall back into the soft pillows, making Loki chuckle.

“No falling asleep just yet, my love. Let me remove the jewel from that lovely behind of yours first.” Your eyes fell shut nonetheless, an acknowledging sound the only form of communication you could still muster as you let Loki gently take out the plug. You would have drifted off to sleep there and then, without a blanket, if Loki didn’t scoop you up like a cherished bride and wrapped you under the covers before cradling you in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, Loki.” You muttered, eyes still shut tiredly.

“Whatever for?”

“I never meant to offend you when I faked, I just wanted you to have your fun even when I wasn’t in the mood.”

“I know. Don’t lie to me again. Ever. There is no point for me to take pleasure from you if I am unable to return the favour.”

You smiled. You really had the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Well… which was probably because he was in fact, not from this world. No Christmas present could ever compete.

-

A/N: If you enjoyed this story, I would appreciate it so much if you considered supporting me on Kofi! It’s either for caffeine or red wine, I’ll take both. ko-fi.com/sserpente ♥

[amerrierworld]

Naughty List

request: Hi! Can you write something with dom carol and sub reader?

note: A bit of the same AU as ‘Tea, Mrs. Aird?’ where you’re the babysitter, and Carol likes you. Basically this is the NSFW parallel of that fic :)

Summary: Carol invites you over for some, ahem, Christmas wrapping.

Characters: Carol Aird x fem!reader

Word Count: 3,723

Warnings: SMUT, Dom!Carol, also cheating cause this is pre-canon, pre-divorce!Carol, naughty Christmas shenanigans.... (KIND OF a mommy kink vibe?? ahskfhskjhg i’m so sorry don’t @ me ;-; )

It was just a few days before Christmas, and Carol had invited you around to help with some last-minute Christmas activities. Harge had to go to a Christmas work function, and Carol needed help to keep a certain three-year old at bay who was most excited about Santa Claus visiting. 

You were about to knock on the door when raised voices came from inside,

“Your own bedroom? What the hell, Carol, what sort of nonsense-,”

“I just figured, with your schedule, and you getting so angry so quickly, some time apart might help-”

“Help what? Jesus, woman, next you’re going to tell me you want a divorce? This is bullshit. A woman’s place is in a man’s bed.”

“Oh, and that’s all a woman is good for, right?” Now Carol’s voice rose louder than Harge’s, defiantly. You wanted to tear away from the door, but couldn’t. 

“Yes.”

A deafening silence.

“Don’t come back tonight.”

“..Carol-”

“No. I don’t want you in this house. How dare you say something like that? With Rindy just in the other room no less?”

“She’ll have to learn too, just like you.”

“Get out.”

“This is my house.”

“I don’t care! Go away, don’t come back until tomorrow, otherwise you won’t see me ever again!”

You gulped, and in the brief pause that followed, you quickly knocked on the door, not wanting to intrude any longer, and hoping your arrival would calm them.  

“That’ll be Y/N,” Carol sighed. 

“Hm, at least she knows her place around here.”

The door opened and you were faced with Mr. Aird, who’s face was still angry and red. You clutched your purse in front of you.

“H-hello, Mr. Aird.”

“Y/N,” he grunted, before brushing past you. Then, in an instant, he turned  around and said,

“If my wife comes onto you because of her hysterics, you have my permission to call the police,” he spat.

“Harge!” Carol screeched in anger, but he had already jumped in his car and drove away.

There was a very light snowfall, and a few flakes collected on your hair and eyelashes. Carol looked to be on the brink of crying, and you frowned,

“I don’t know what he means-,”

“It’s fine, forget about it,” she waved her hand dismissively, her breathing  heavy, “come in. I’ll go get Rindy.”

You let her walk ahead of you, seeing the tension in her shoulders as she went down the hallway. Tentatively, you followed, hearing Carol say,

“Rindy, guess who’s here?”

“Y/N!” The toddler screamed as soon as she came into view, rushing over to you.

“Hello, sweetie!” you laughed, picking her up to set her on your hip. 

“You’re just in time for cookies,” Carol said as Rindy laughed and played with your hair. She pulled open the oven and the warm, sweet smell of freshly baked goods washed over you. 

Carol approached you, bent her head towards your ear, and whispered, “I have a few more presents left to wrap, but I can’t let her out of my sight alone. Will you distract her and decorate the cookies together?”

A warm flush rose up your neck at the low, whispery tone of her voice and her sweet perfume filling your nose. Afraid you couldn’t reply a coherent sentence, you simply nodded.

She squeezed your hand in thanks and disappeared into another room, and you reminded yourself to breathe. 

There were small tubs of icing on the counter and you grabbed one of Carol’s well-worn aprons to protect your clothes from the incoming damage. Rindy giggled and began pulling at a small stool for her tucked away in the kitchen corner.

You put on a Christmas record as the two of you worked, helping Rindy spread red and green icing over the cookies, covering with sprinkles. Somewhere along the way, you snuck a cookie into your mouth as Rindy dipped another in icing and accidentally dropped it in, clumsily pulling it out. 

Soon your hands were covered in it as well, and Rindy somehow had gotten some icing in her hair. You cleaned it out as best you could, while Rindy giggled, standing by the sink.

“What are my girls getting up to now?” Carol asked as she came back into the kitchen. You blushed at her words, gesturing to Rindy apologetically,

“We got icing in her hair.”

Carol’s eyebrow raised, “Oh? Well, then it’s high time for a bath. I’ll have to wash your clothes too, Rindy, look at all the sugar you got on yourself.”

Rindy giggled, gleefully like only an innocent child could. She then pointed at the cookies,

“But Mommy, look!”

“Oh, they’re beautiful, sweet pea, every one of them. Come on, it’s bath time now.”

“Nuh-uh,” Rindy protested, pointing firmly. “One’s gone!”

Uh-oh...

“Y/N ate one!”

Your face flushed red, not thinking Rindy would have kept count, and your mouth dropped open. Rindy was perched on her stool, pointing at the plate and then at you.

“That’s bad! You’re on the naughty list!” she giggled, “Santa’s not gonna give you gifts!”

“I- wh-.. I...” you were shellshocked, flabbergasted. You glanced at Carol, expecting a scold, like you were a child who’d been caught, but she was smiling, her eyes looking at you intently.

“It was only one,” you protested.

“Oh, but that doesn’t matter to Santa,” Carol said, teasingly, and you felt a chill run down your spine, “Santa doesn’t look at how many cookies you steal, Y/N. Only that you did.”

Rindy bounced towards you, tugging at both your skirts, giggling, “you’ll get coal for Christmas!”

“Now, Rindy, be nice,” Carol tutted, scooping her up, “you still have to be good up until Christmas, right? So that means having your bath and going to bed on time.”

Rindy pouted, but didn’t protest, and Carol carried her upstairs without much fuss.

As Carol busied herself with getting Rindy to bed, you chucked a new log onto the dying fireplace in the living room, watching the sparks fly and hoping the heat would hide the actual flush on your face.

You stayed on the carpet a little longer, legs tucked under you as you watched the flames dance.

“Out like a light,” Carol sighed, making you turn around and look over at her coming into the living room. She sat down on the couch and lit up a cigarette. You watched the blue-grey haze surround her and it wasn’t until her eyes locked with yours that you realized you were staring.

You turned back to watch the fire, your hands resting delicately in your lap. Something crackled in the air. 

“She’ll be a feisty one when she grows up,” Carol said, puffing cigarette smoke into the air. 

“Just like her mother,” you smiled. “The world needs more feisty women.”

Carol let out a dry laugh, “Harge wouldn't agree. If he had his way, I’d be locked away in this house, like any other old, problematic housewife.”

There were stern lines in her face as she watched the fire, and you stood up from where you were sitting, hand grabbing your opposite elbow awkwardly. 

“You’re beautiful, you know,” you blurted out. Carol looked over at you, surprised. “And what Mr. Aird said was- was wrong. About a woman’s place, I mean. He’s lucky to have you.”

“So you heard that,” Carol grimaced. You rubbed the back of your neck, shy.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it.”

“It’s alright,” she sighed, glancing you up and down, her head tilting in curiosity. ���But what is?”

“What’s what?”

“A woman’s place. Where do you think that is?” Carol’s eyes were piercing you, ripping every bit of your soul open to her.

“A woman’s place...” you trailed off, because now she was rising up, approaching you, cigarette in the ashtray, with the grace of a hungry lioness, “a woman’s place is wherever she wants it to be.”

Carol smiled, “I agree. You’re very thoughtful, Y/N.”

“Not really,” you muttered.

“No, you are,” she said, tilting your chin up with her fingers to meet her gaze. Her face was lit beautifully by the flickering fire, “you’re wonderful. And I can’t tell you how grateful I am for spending all this time with a cranky lady and her daughter.”

“You’re not cranky!” you protested with a laugh, pulling her hand down from your chin and clasping it in yours, “you’re incredible.” 

Carol smiled, her cheeks rosy, and looked down at your joined hands, “are you trying to make up for stealing one of my well-baked cookies?”

You sputtered indignantly, “I didn’t steal-”

“Last I checked, there was another one missing,” Carol winked, pulling a cookie out of her pocket and waving it in front of your face. You gaped. What was she trying to do?

“Now, I don’t know about you,” she said, biting into the cookie, “but I suspect the previous culprit may have taken it.”

“What are you- you’re eating it right n-”

“Can you prove that?” Carol purred, finishing the cookie. “Rindy won’t believe you, will she? Because I rarely ever eat sweets.”

“You- you...” 

“Really, Y/N,” she said, bending her head low and brushing her lips along your cheek, making your breath stutter, “you already got caught once, and now again? You seem like you want to be on the naughty list.”

“P-please..” you stammered, your body rising up against hers in response to the growing heat between your legs, “Mrs. Aird...”

Carol’s head snapped back, eyed you closely, hesitating, wondering. You took the chance, and surged up with your mouth to hers, tasting a few crumbs and the sweetness of icing along her lips.

As soon as you realized what you were doing, you tore yourself away and stumbled back, panting.

“I’m s-so sorry,” you yelped, eyes wide.

“It’s alright,” Carol muttered, her hands clenching by her sides. “I don’t mind.”

“B-but.. you have a husband-”

“Hah! Barely.”

“And- and I’m a girl,” you said, dumbfounded. Carol merely grinned, wide and excited, moving towards you and wrapping her arms around your waist, meeting your lips,

“Exactly.”

You melted in her arms, whimpering softly as her full lips moved along yours. 

“Sh-shouldn’t I go home soon?” you gasped breathlessly as her mouth moved to your jawline and neck. “It’s so late..”

“Oh, no, darling,” she grinned, “Unless you want to?”

She pulled away briefly, saw the desire in your eyes, brushed her nose against yours, “I think you need to be taught a lesson first, hm?”

“A.. lesson?” you repeated in a small voice.

“Mhm,” she smiled, “a naughty girl like you needs to know what her place is, wouldn’t you agree?”

Your mouth hung open, oh...

“Now, I’m no Santa Claus, so I can’t give you any coal.. I’ll have to be creative, I suppose.”

She looked at you through her lashes, “would you like that?”

You nodded without thinking, and she chuckled, arm circling your waist and lips pressing against your neck again,

“I w-would..” you whimpered. 

Carol groaned at the sound, tugging you closer, moving her hips against yours. Your hand tangled in her golden locks, feeling weightless, untethered, and the only thing grounding you was Carol’s hot mouth, moving over your skin like fire.

“Go to the kitchen,” she ordered. You blinked in surprise, but did as she asked. Once there, you stood awkwardly, wondering what she wanted, what she had in mind.

Carol grasped your hand and tugged it to one of the tubs of icing. You dipped a finger in, taking out a generous amount, the red colour vibrant in the dim lighting.

Keep her eyes locked on yours, Carol leaned forward and wrapped her lips around your finger, sucking and licking the sweetness off of your skin. The groan that came out of you seemed barely human, and your knees trembled.

Her skilled tongue swirled around your finger slowly and sensually, watching your resolve breaking, your breathing pick up. She released your hand and blew softly on the wet skin, making you mewl.

She chuckled darkly, “would you like some too, sweetheart?”

You nodded frantically, feeling the pulsing heat between your legs. But Carol had other plans as she pushed you up against the edge of the countertop.

“Before you get anymore sweets, you have to prove that you’ve been a good girl, okay?” you nodded again, tugging at your lower lip with your teeth.

“Are you sure you can handle that, princess?” Carol growled, fingers digging into your hips. You gasped, body arching. Carol looked at the way you quivered, the way your pelvis rose towards her, and she pushed her hand down, creating a sweet, sweet pressure in your lower belly.

“Don’t misbehave,” she muttered. Then, her eyes wandered up and down your body, seeing how you trembled and strained against the countertop, your legs nearly giving out. Taking pity on you, she pulled you away from the kitchen, kissing you sweetly.

She lead you down the hall, walking quietly on the carpet to the guest bedroom. You were relieved that she didn't take you to her main bedroom. As much as you enjoyed the thought of Carol naked under those sheets, you also couldn’t ignore the thought of Harge in that bed with her.

“Why are you frowning, darling?” Carol muttered, pulling you closer once inside the bedroom, brushing her lips over your forehead, then your eyes and mouth.

You shook your head, blinking the thoughts away, and a sultry smirk appeared on your lips again, instead focusing on the Carol, naked under the sheets bit.

You kissed her, taking charge this time, much to Carol’s delight. You put your hands in her hair, tugging until a sweet moan escaped her. 

“Not so fast,” she grunted as your hands began pulling at her dress, wanting it gone. “Which one of us was on the naughty list, hm?”

Then you found yourself on your back, on the bed, Carol stripping your clothes with ease, an eagerness behind her gaze that made you blush and your breath catch in your throat. 

“I th-think you’re very close with getting your own name on that list, Mrs. A-Aird,” you gasped as she kissed down your naked body. 

Carol grinned against your abdomen, licking a stripe towards your centre. She could smell all of you, and she enjoyed pulling your thighs apart and see you shiver, just watching your sex throb, glistening with arousal. 

Then she put her mouth on you, and you shuddered.

Carol relished this, the feeling of you bucking up to her mouth, chasing her tongue, howling and whining with pleasure.

You let out a shout as she hit a particularly sensitive spot and she smacked your thigh as a reprimand,

“Quiet.”

You panted ragged, airy breaths as you tried to do what she said, but her tongue kept pressing against that sensitive spot and you felt your body give in.

You let out low groans and pleads, begging,

“P-please... m-more..”

Carol raised an eyebrow, “more, darling?”

“Yes, yes, oh.. Carol,” you said, her name like a prayer on your lips.

Oh, Carol could hardly stand it anymore, her stockings had gotten wet with her own arousal running down her thighs. She pushed herself away from you, grinning as your body went limp in shock as the pleasure left you.

“C-Carol..” you begged again, reaching for her. She shushed you and began to undress. That got your attention very quickly, and you rose up on your knees to watch her.

As every piece fell to the floor, you felt your pulse quicken. Her body was beautiful, far too beautiful for you to handle. The way she flicked her hair over her shoulder and beckoned you with one finger nearly made you come on the spot.

“How about something else that’s sweet?” Carol murmured. You almost fell off the bed as you moved towards her. She kissed you, forced your mouth open and entered you with her tongue. You gasped and let yourself be touched, let yourself be held. Her hands wandered, stroking and caressing every inch of your body with a warm touch.

Then, they settled heavily on your shoulders and she pushed you down to your knees. You were afraid you wouldn’t know how to please her, but the sight of her standing before you and the irresistible smell of her sex made you swoon and lean forward anyways.

The first lick made Carol’s head drop back, and she immediately brougt her hand up to bite into it to stop the lustful noises threatening to escape.

Your head was dizzy from the taste of her, and you licked again. And again, and again, until you needed more and brought your hands up to help.

You pushed her legs to stand a little further apart, and then dipped your tongue between the folds.

“Oh!” Carol sighed, a heavenly sound, “that’s a good girl..”

You whined into her sex, tongue flicking ardently. You trailed upwards, finding the small bundle of nerves that always felt good on your own body. As soon as you found it, Carol’s hands landed in your hair, pulling sharply.

“Yes!” She gasped, “oh, goodness- yes. Just like that.”

You kept licking and then sucking, letting her rock her body and cunt against your mouth. The lower half of your face was covered entirely by her juices, and your hands reached to grasp her ass, palming the supple flesh, helping her steadily move against you.

“Oh,” she breathed, “oh, yes- yes, yes, keep going. So close- oh, baby girl you’re doing so wonderful..”

Her words made it hard to focus, your cunt throbbing, your hips rocking involuntarily. But you breathed deeply, steadied yourself, and pressed Carol fully against your open mouth, tongue rocking with her hips’ movements.

Carol arched, gasped, and curled over you as she came, holding your hair and shaking all over. More wetness spilled from between her legs, trailing down your cheeks and into your mouth.

You moaned at the taste and she gasped weakly at the vibration it sent through her body. Her legs were shaking so violently you thought she might collapse.

But then she regained her composure, and looked down at you with blown pupils before pulling you up to your feet.

Her lips and tongue attacked your face, kissing your cheeks, sucking your lips, tasting herself on your skin.

“Good girl,” she said, making you shiver, “I think you’ve proven yourself.”

She grinned at you and you wanted to smile back, but the arousal still coursing through your body made it hard to focus. Carol noticed, she always noticed.

“How about a reward then?” She asked softly.

“Y-yes, please, Mrs. Aird,” you answered almost instinctively. She chuckled at how needy you were, kissing you deeply.

“Call me by my first name,” she said.

“Carol...” you were rewarded by nibble of her teeth along your neck. “Oh! C-Carol..”

She smiled and pushed you down on the bed again. Instantly, her body covered yours, warm and soft, and her lips closed around a nipple. Your back arched.

“Carol!”

Her hand found your sex, and she pulled back in amazement, looking down at how wet you were.

“Oh my... baby girl, you’re positively soaked.”

She rubbed over your cunt, gathering wetness all over her fingers and prodding gently at your entrance.

“P-please...” you said again, the word having lost all meaning at this point. You couldn’t help but keep saying it, because Carol liked it when you begged, and you liked what Carol gave you when you did.

She pushed inside, marveling at how tight you were, and her thumb pressed against your clit.

It wouldn’t take long, you knew it. Your body was ready to explode at any moment, and you clawed at Carol’s arms, pulling her down to  you.

“C-Carol, kiss me,” you begged. Her lips founds yours instantly, but she couldn’t help but pull back just a bit, simply to tease,

“Does it feel nice, princess? This is what good girls get, when they’ve been on the nice list,” she growled, pressing harder and faster. “When they don’t take cookies that aren’t ready to be eaten yet.”

“Oh G-god.. Carol,” you whined in defiant protest, “I wasn’t.. I didn’t mean...”

“Shhhh, be a good girl and take it,” Carol said, taking your lower lip between her teeth and biting gently.

You came as if a tsunami had erupted. Distant at first, and then thundering down all at once. Carol kept moving, not stopping her motions until you were bucking up and thrashing at the overstimulation of her fingers, whining and pleading.

Only then did she relent, releasing her grip on you and letting you catch your breath.

You were shaking, Carol’s taste still present in your mouth, an ache between your legs where her fingers had been. Then her mouth and tongue, lapping at your lips, opening you wide so you could breathe all of her in.

“Fuck...” you whimpered. Carol’s eyes opened and she smiled,

“I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you swear,” she chuckled.

“You can’t swear around a three year old,” you replied, “otherwise you would’ve fired me.”

Carol grinned, kissing your nose, “No, I don’t think I would have.”

You turned your head to glance at the clock and your stomach plummeted.

“I should call a cab,” you said. Carol pulled you close.

“No, you shouldn’t. Stay a while,” she pleaded in your ear. “Let me hold you.”

“But Harge..”

“Isn’t coming back until morning. I’ll call a cab just before six, alright? He never wakes until eight, at least.”

Your stomach churned and she gave you a pointed look. You didn’t want to be caught, or fired, or worse, having Carol be blamed for everything.

"You merely spent the night, darling, because you were so tired after being here,” Carol arched an eyebrow, “gosh, whatever could’ve made you so exhausted? Maybe all those cookies..”

You lightly slapped her arm and giggled, “you are by far the worst employer I’ve ever had, Mrs. Aird.”

She pressed a finger to your lips and said, “Nuh-uh, princess. What’s my name?”

You trembled under her gaze, eyes drooping with both sleep and lust,

“Carol.”

A/N: I think this may be one of my longest one-shot fics... idk what that tells you about me as a person lol but ohh well :) AND this is my 200th post! Wow! 

[stardusttkachuk]

Santa’s Workshop

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: fluff, swearing,

Summary: JJ picks up a holiday job, working as one of Santa’s elves. He doesn’t expect to meet another elf there, but isn’t disappointed in who he’ll be working with all season.

A/N: This is day 1 of starduststarkey’s 12 days of Christmas. Find other fics in my masterlist

Wanna be tagged? click here!

“You look fucking ridiculous,” John B says as JJ stands in front of the broken full length mirror that JB picked up from a junkyard.

“At least I have a job, asshat.” He fixes his hat on his head, grimacing at the way the tights hug his body. He’s uncomfortable in every place imaginable and is already dreading the 5 hour shift.

“Maybe if you’re a good elf, Santa will bring you a girlfriend this year!” Pope teases.

“You better shut the fuck up before this elf beats you to a pulp,” JJ threatens, fists raised.

Pope laughs. “I don’t think elves are supposed to be getting in fist fights.”

JJ huffs and rolls his eyes. Pope is right. He can’t show up to this job covered in bruises, that would scare the kids even more than he probably already will.

“Will you please drive me?” He asks John B. 

“Maybe you should ask Santa for a car,” John B says, grabbing the keys to the Twinkie.

“Why do you think I even took this job in the first place? Please. I don’t want to be seen in public like this.”

You set your bag in the provided cubby, checking your phone one last time before your scheduled session. When you had signed up to be one of Santa’s elves at the local mall, you were ecstatic. You and your best friend had been doing this for the last two years. But this year, your best friend ditched you for the hot chocolate stand. Really she ditched you for the cute girl who worked at the hot chocolate stand, and now you were stuck working with some kid named JJ Maybank. You crossed your fingers in hopes that he wasn’t some loser like the guy they hired last season.

“Santa arrives in 10 minutes! You better be out there in 5!” Natasha, the showrunner of Santa’s Workshop yells through the improvised locker and changing room. “Where’s your other elf?”

You shrug. “I don’t know. He hasn’t shown up yet.”

“Well when he gets here tell him he’s a dead man if he isn’t here 15 minutes prior to his shift.” She storms out, clipboard in hand. 

The first day is always one of the craziest. Things don’t settle down until a few weeks in. And by the time they do settle down, it’s already the week before Christmas and they get crazy again. 

“Hi. I’m JJ Maybank. I think this is where I’m supposed to be?” You hear someone say, likely talking to the nutcracker that’s posted outside the green room.

“In there. Find Y/N. You’ll know it’s her because she’ll be dressed just like you.”

You roll your eyes. At least he showed up. Ten minutes late but he did make it.

He passes through the curtains, blonde hair a mess under his elf hat. You’ll have to remind him to brush it before he arrives. You have an extra brush in your bag, but you know you won’t have time to make it look perfect.

He spies you easily, strutting towards you. “I’m JJ. Are you Y/N?” 

“That’s me. You’re late, by the way.”

JJ looks at his watch, eyes wide and mouth agape. “I’m five minutes early! That’s the earliest I’ve been for any job!”

“Natasha’s rules state all workshop employees must be present 15 minutes prior to their shift.”

JJ rolls his eyes. “It’s only ten minutes.”

“And if it happens again, you’re a dead man. So you better be here 15 minutes early next time.”

“Okay but why 15? Aren’t we just sitting around those 15 minutes until our shift starts?”

“It’s for costume malfunctions. Like your hair. It needs to be brushed. If you had been here 10 minutes earlier, maybe we would’ve had time to brush it and make it look better.”

“My hair looks fine,” JJ grumbles, though he does attempt to smooth down the ends with his hands. 

You lead him over to the cubby next to yours, gesturing to it. “Put your stuff in here. And that includes your phone.”

JJ places both his phone and wallet into the cubby. He then takes his jacket off and puts it on top of the two valuable items.

“No one is going to steal your stuff, if you’re worried about that. This place is heavily monitored,” you say. “And no one but Santa’s crew is allowed back here anyway.”

JJ is about to speak when an elderly woman with white hair tucked under her hat enters the room. “Looks like Mrs. Claus has arrived,” he jokes.

“That’s Natasha.” You grab JJ’s hand, pulling him out to Santa’s corner before Natasha has a chance to yell at him for his tardiness.

“So what exactly do we do?” JJ whispers, eyeing the line of children and their parents that seems to wrap around the entire display.

“We help the kids from their parents to Santa’s lap and then back out to their parents again. And don’t forget the candy cane before they leave.”

JJ grimaces. “You mean we have to interact with the kids?”

“Yes. Now smile and act like an elf,” you say.

“How do- ohf!” JJ grunts as you elbow him and immediately reach forward for the hand of a little girl.

“Hi! I’m elf Y/N! And this is my friend elf JJ! What’s your name?” You ask in a high pitched voice. 

“I’m Sophie,” she beams. She grasps onto JJ’s hand and you have to bite your lip to keep from laughing at the face he makes. It’s clear he isn’t a fan of kids and you can’t wait to watch him interact with them for the next 30 days.

JJ pulls his booties on over the tights, chuckling to himself as the bells jingle. They jingle every time he walks. He’s grown so used to the sound now though. He’s grown used to looking absolutely ridiculous in his costume. He’s even grown used to the kids, which he thought was impossible.

But the way Y/N smiles when he coos at a baby or holds onto a preschoolers hand has helped him get over his dislike of the kids. He’d do just about anything to see her smile.

“Ready?” John B asks from the doorway, keys looped around his finger.

“Actually a friend is picking me up,” JJ says, grabbing his phone and wallet.

“What friend? You don’t have any friends besides us.”

“Well that’s very rude of you to think. I have plenty of friends. And her name is Y/N. We work together.”

“Work together or sleep together? Or both. Do you guys like, get it on in the costumes?”

“Ew, no,” JJ scoffs.

“Okay, you know elves is somebody's kink,” John B adds, shuddering as he does.

“I didn’t want to know that. I don’t want to think about that.”

“Okay but Y/N… you like her.”

“No. We’re just friends. We’re coworkers. We work the same shift and she offered to give me a ride, okay? Now can you make yourself disappear before she gets here? I don’t want her seeing your face.”

John B pouts. “Why not? I have a very likable face.”

“Just… please?” JJ asks, but it’s too late. 

The beat up Ford truck pulls up in front of the house. JJ knows it’s hers. On days when they work late and it’s dark outside by the time they leave, he walks her to her car. They once spent two extra hours after work sitting in her car and talking. She even gave him a ride home once, but he made her drop him off down the street. It was too risky for her to pull up to his actual house, especially if his dad was home. 

JJ knows John B is in the doorway when he exits the house. He watches as Y/N waves, a courteous smile on her face. JJ walks to the passenger side, hearing the familiar squeak of the old door.

“Who’s that?”

“John B. He’s my best friend.”

“He’s dating Sarah Cameron right?” she asks.

“Yeah. You know Sarah?”

“Everyone on this island knows Sarah,” Y/N laughs. JJ knows she’s not wrong. Everyone did know the Cameron's, especially after the huge scandal that went down last summer. People don’t typically forget about a murder and stealing of millions of dollars worth in gold.

“Right,” JJ laughs nervously. 

You tear your elf hat off as soon as you reach your truck. Today was a hard shift. Multiple crying kids, lines that wrapped all around the mall, parents who didn’t understand the concept of patience and waiting, and then there was the kid that peed on Santa Claus and made everyone wait even longer while Santa went to change. It was a nightmare. 

If it wasn’t for JJ, today would’ve been the day you quit.

But he insisted on stopping for dinner before you dropped him off, so here you were, sitting at a booth across from him, the both of you still clad in your elf costumes.

You probably looked ridiculous but you didn’t care. JJ was your sole focus tonight. He let you vent to him about the craziness of the day and when you weren’t talking he was telling you about the funniest wishes he had overheard while on candy cane duty. 

“All their missing socks?” You laugh, hand covering your mouth.

JJ nods, laughing harder. “He-He couldn’t understand why the dryer monster needed his socks more than him. He even asked if-if monsters were on the naughty list!” JJ bursts out laughing, as do you. If there was one thing that could cheer you up, it was this.

“Kids got a point,” you giggle. “Why does the dryer monster only take one sock and not both? Do you think he only has one leg?”

JJ nods, his smile wide. “Yeah, instead of one eye he’s got one leg.”

Your laughs die down slowly, but you can’t wipe the smile off your face. The smile that was forced all throughout the day was now a real one.

“I’ve missed that smile,” JJ says, reaching his hand across the table.

You blush but take his hand without hesitation, lacing your fingers through his.

JJ nervously clears his throat. “Do you think when this is all over, I can take you on an actual date?”

You’re not sure your smile could get any wider. “I’d like that.”

You both stare at each other for a while longer, before JJ can’t wait anymore. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he says, leaning over the table.

“I’d like that too,” you respond, meeting him halfway.

Tags: @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @serpentbaby @etoilesnoor @k-k0129 @maybanksbaby @talksoprettyjjx @canibeoneofthepogues @multifixx  @theonetheonlyalexbrown @glux64 @shy-1234 @sleepyhollands @cognacdelights @ilovejjmaybank @blueeyedbesson @cheshirecat107 @myrandom-fandomlife @makebank @ifilwtmfc @obxmxybxnk  @kookkyra @rafej-cambanks @blindedbypeaky @ahiae @repostcentral @midnightzonzz @blxndeprincess @dracosbbygorl @itsagurl @Poguesinablanket @amandaburris @tovvaa @sunnsettee

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

Baby It’s Cold Outside

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Just based on “Baby It’s Cold Outside” 

Warnings: Written quickly and with little editing so I’m sorry if it’s not up to normal standards! No actual bad warnings! 

Word Count: 1700

_______________________

You curled into Tom’s warm body while you sipped what remained of the hot chocolate that you had been enjoying throughout the Christmas movie you and Tom had been watching. It didn’t take much convincing to get him to give into watching your favorite holiday movie. 

Tom was a sap when it came to the holidays. Holiday movies, Christmas music, baking cookies, excessive amounts of hot chocolate, driving around just to look at Christmas lights, and building snowmen were just a part of the holiday season with him and you loved it. How could you not? Especially when it meant you were snuggled into your boyfriend’s body with his arms wrapped around you and a ridiculously fluffy blanket cocooning the both of you. 

The credits had begun to roll though and you sighed, enjoying where you found yourself on this wonderful night. Tom clicked off the movie and tightened his arms around you, taking a big inhale of your scent that he wished he could be shrouded in for forever. He glanced down at your wrist, which now bore the beautiful bracelet he’d given you just earlier that night, a simple thin silver chain with small pieces of your favorite gemstone. Your eyes lit up when you opened the long box and you had thanked him repeatedly before he saw the panic flash in your eyes when you made a comment about how much it must have cost him. Tom had reassured you that it really hadn’t set him back much at all, which wasn’t a lie. He wouldn’t have cared if it did, though, because there was nothing that he could give you that would show you how much he loved you. 

“I don’t want to go home.” You groaned, burying yourself impossibly further into his hold. 

He chuckled, pulling you tighter to him, “Then stay.” 

You began to run your fingers over the top of his hand, tracing each knuckle gently, “I wish I could. I promised my parents I’d stay the night at their house tonight. Besides, I don’t want to drive in the snow this late.” It was Christmas Eve and your mother wanted to open presents first thing in the morning, just like how it was when you were little. She had been emotional and nostalgic this holiday season, the reality that her babies had grown up getting to her, and had made plans to make Christmas as close to how it was when you were children as possible. You really didn’t mind much, though. You only wished it didn’t mean you had to leave Tom’s loving embrace. 

Tom sighed and shifted as you stood up heavily. He took out his phone and tapped the screen a few times and the beginning notes to “Baby It’s Cold Outside” began to play from the small device. You rolled your eyes and laughed, “Are you serious?” 

He stood up beside you and captured your body in his arms, as if he was going to begin a waltz with you. One hand rested on your waist and the other held your hand gently, “Very.” He smiled, looking down at you as he began to sway your bodies side to side. 

“You’re ridiculous.” You giggled in disbelief that he was pulling this card. “I really can’t stay.” You sang along with the music when the lines came up. 

“But baby it’s cold outside.” Tom sang back in response. 

With a chuckle, you pulled away, Tom’s grip on your hand tightening as you tried to walk away. The music continued serendipitously in the background as you laughed at the cheesiness that was your boyfriend. With a small tug at your arm, you spun into his body where your hand came to his chest, enjoying every bump and dip under his shirt.

My mother will start to worry

Beautiful, what's your hurry?

My father will be pacing the floor

Listen to the fireplace roar

So really I'd better scurry

Beautiful please don't hurry

Well maybe just a half a drink more

I'll put some records on while I pour

“I love you but I really have to go.” You pouted, leaning your head against his chest as you let him hold you just a little longer, “My mom is going to think I’m dead or something and then my dad is gonna kill me for making her worry.”

Tom kept his grip on your body, using his large hands to sway your bodies in time with the music. “Can’t you tell them you got stuck in traffic? Or maybe you just drank a little too much and didn’t feel safe to drive!” He wiggled his eyebrows, hoping you’d take his offer. 

“I can’t lie to them on Christmas!” You laughed, side stepping in time with Tom. 

He let go of you only long enough to sprint to his kitchen, “You don’t have to lie! I’ll make you something right now! I got beer, gin, vodka...” 

“Tom!” You chased after him and stood off to the side with your hands on your hips while you watched him mix a drink together, “You’re going to end up on Santa’s naughty list for trying to get me drunk.” 

Tom only shrugged, “I already have what I want for Christmas.” He put the finishing touch on the mystery drink he’d mixed up for you and handed it to you proudly.

You raised an eyebrow at him, looking down at the drink that appeared to be a mixture of a clear alcohol you hadn’t paid attention to and cranberry juice. He nodded his head a little, silently insisting that you take the drink. “You think you’re so charming.” You chimed, teasing being the only weapon you had against his powerful spell on you. With an eye roll, you took the drink from his hands and swirled the liquid around. 

The neighbors might think

Baby it's bad out there

Say what's in this drink?

No cabs to be had out there

I wish I knew how

Your eyes are like starlight now

To break this spell

I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell

Why thank you

I ought to say no, no, no sir

Mind if move in closer?

At least I'm gonna say that I tried

What's the sense of hurting my pride?

I really can't stay

Baby don't hold out

Baby it's cold outside

Keeping eye contact with him, you sipped the cocktail and sputtered when the fiery liquid went down your throat, much stronger than you’d expected, “What the hell is in this?” You asked through a mixture of laughs and coughs. Usually you were alright when it came to strong drinks but this one just took you off guard. 

“Nothing you don’t like!” Tom defended, knowing how you liked your drinks mixed. He had been in a rush though and had accidentally been heavier handed with the liquor than intended. 

“I have to drive. I’m not going to finish this.” You insisted, setting the glass on the counter, “Though your persistence is charming.”

“Is it working?” He asked, hope in his voice. 

You feigned a look of ponderance before taking off in a playful run back into the living room. Your keys were on the table and just when you bent down to pick them up, Tom grabbed you by the waist and pulled you down to the couch on top of him. “Mind if I move in closer?” 

You laughed as your body gave into Tom’s every touch. You didn’t even try to escape his clutches this time, only held onto his strong arms that were wrapped around your torso so you could touch him in some way. Your head rolled back onto his shoulder, eyes sliding shut, “You know my weaknesses.” 

“Of course, I do, darliing.” He gave you a cheeky smirk. 

The two of you snuggled into each other’s embrace. Tom was so comforting, even when he was being a pain in the ass like right now. The way his scent enveloped you - clean but warm - made you never want to leave this spot for as long as you lived. “At least I’m gonna say that I tried.” 

You gave into Tom’s efforts for a while and laid there with him, the music playing in the background and the fireplace roaring. Your eyes opened again and you watched the snow fall outside, Tom’s breathing, the flames, and the music creating a perfect ambience for your moment of weakness. 

Your phone buzzed on the table and groaned, reaching out blindly to grab it. It was your mom, of course. “Who is it?” Tom questioned. 

“My mom. She’s asking if I’m okay.” You read over the message before glancing at the time, “Shit, it’s already almost midnight. I really do need to get home.” 

This time, Tom reluctantly let you sit up to type your reply. “Fine.” He whined, though not actually trying to make you feel bad. He totally understood why you needed to go home. He was just having fun messing with you tonight. 

You stood up, grabbed your keys, and made your way to the front door where you slipped your boots on. Tom came up to stand beside you while you were bent over and you came face to face with him when you stood up. He had a mischievous smile on his face that took you a moment to process until you realized his arm was outstretched above your heads. In his hand was a small sprig of mistletoe. With a little laugh, you leaned up onto your toes and pecked him on the lips, “You know you didn’t need the mistletoe for that, right?” 

Tom tilted his head back down again for another kiss, “Yeah, I know, but I figured it would add a nice touch.” 

“Merry Christmas.” You wrapped your arms around him one last time and looking up into those beautiful brown eyes that you got lost in. 

Tom’s lips turned upwards, almost like elfishly so, “Merry Christmas, love. You’re still coming over to my parents’ for Christmas dinner tomorrow?” 

You nodded, “Yes, I will be there tomorrow night with pumpkin pie.” You pecked him on the lips just one last time for good measure, “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

[monkey-network]

Why Klaus IS Christmas Kino

Klaus isn’t flawless, let’s get this out the way. My love for this film won’t deny that it bears a couple nits that can distract the experience. Jesper and Alva’s relationship felt like an eye-rolling inevitability, notable cliches here & there, a notable song felt both fitting and out of place, and while enjoyable, I’m not as big a fan of the climax as I thought. But in spite of it all, I love this film and it is one of the best modern animated Christmas films, period? Follow me here. I could go on about its wonderful animation cuz yeah, it’s unlike any other film. But a philosophy of mine is that the best animation enhances the writing and I can say Klaus is that surprisingly well written and has become an all time Christmas fave

*deep breath in* So let’s do this...

I mention that Klaus has its cliches, but you gotta know that it’s smarter than expected. Believe me when I say if the writers didn’t care, this could’ve actually been so much worse. Jesper could’ve been more manipulative towards everyone for his goals, Klaus would’ve given up entirely after knowing the truth about Jesper, we could’ve had an argument between Jesper and his dad about upholding business, the townsfolk could’ve reverted back to their old ways, plenty writing moments where this could’ve been Emoji Movie levels of insulting to your intellect. BUT, they don’t. The film never really turns back on itself, it keeps moving where, as the notable quote goes, an act of good will sparks another as it starts with Jesper’s father.

Even if nepotism was responsible for Jesper getting the job in the first place, he clearly sees his son be more spoiled than he’s worth so is like, “Ma boi, I will send you to the ends of the earth or leave you to the streets if you don’t do something with yourself.” He never cared about his son representing the postal company, or ruining his top class image, he was only tired of Jesper taking advantage of his fortune while not having any ambition of his own. Can’t help but say Jesper’s dad is a very respectable character because the sole reason the whole plot happened in the first place was because he just wanted his son to do better. It’s that act of genuine consideration that pushes Jesper to his wake up call as he reaches Smeerensburg.

People have compared this movie to Emperor’s New Groove through Jesper’s character and I say yes, but this film takes that next step and put Jesper in the pit of pits way early. Reminds me more of Ratatouille’s beginning where Remy’s lowest point is around the same time as Jesper’s. The harsh atmosphere of the island is treated very blunt in how this is our mailman’s nightmare come true. With his situation, our guy is truly at his lowest. Gives up now, he’ll be cut off his inheritance and probably will have worse. Everyone hates him and each other, his post office itself is in shambles, symbolic of how communication is practically thin outside conflict, and the teacher turned fish seller Alva is that path Jesper could notably be if he didn’t try. Everything is literally grey for this guy, but like Ratatouille, when you’re at your lowest there’s no where else to go but up. That’s where Klaus comes in...

This is genuinely the most clever interpretation of Santa I know, hands down. A well established woodsman, a crafter both of living, for him and the birds that reside in his woods, and recreation with the toys he made himself not just for kids, but specifically the kids he and his wife wanted but couldn’t have. Klaus feels like a real person, not just another take on the mythical man. You’re with him and Jesper as he, after familiar winds provide him a letter, a small spark to do something good, soon opens up and gets reminded of what’s kept him going all these years. It is no wonder he sees his wife in Jesper, it’s thanks to him that he could refurbish his dashed dream into a new one. He didn’t just want to do it for the children of the island, but for himself. That is another thing about this film: communication. I mention before how it’s practically thin at first due to a long going feud that isn’t even aware of why it’s still going. The joy in hate is only for hatred’s sake, and they make it very clear how miserable it all feels. That is where Jesper comes in. They don’t take shortcuts with how he gets the ball rolling, both accidentally and purposefully, he boots up to get things done, pushes himself to go to Klaus to make things happen. This is all in part by the youth, what really ties the plot together...

As I mentioned before (again), life in Smeerensburg is noticeably miserable but thanks to Klaus, by extension Jesper, the kids are enticed to do what it takes to get some genuine joy in their lives through the toys they’re able to get. They’ll make them letters, and if they can’t write, they’ll go to Alva for teachings, and if they act naughty, they’ll try to do good which in turn pushes the adults to do good for the sake of their kids. It really would’ve been one thing to sure enough make the kids spoiled because of the toy giving, focusing more on the extrinsic value of Klaus’s kindness but no. The children are very grateful for these gifts enough to feel compelled to do good, and it makes them feel good as much as it soon makes the adults more convinced to stop fighting. It helps that this all takes place in older times cuz I believe this would’ve been far different, possibly worse, if this took place in modern times. That or just kinda rip off Arthur Christmas, it’s my guess. As such, it gradually becomes an amazing Christmas film because it isn’t just the presents, the Santa Claus myth, the festive style of it all that makes this holiday special to me. It’s the warmth... of togetherness.

My favorite detail about Klaus is how it transitions from cold to warm with its atmosphere. We start out with the emptiest, harshest environment, enough fog to choke your eyes, and then we get to this moment with a brighter, clearer sight of the more united town as the Christmas spirit builds in the film, even when it isn’t even that day yet in-universe, so too does the warmhearted feeling that can come from celebrating it appear more and more. This film fleshes out more of what the Grinch taught me, what A Charlie Brown Christmas taught me, what I’ve come to appreciate about Christmas as I grew up in this materialistic world. I can say everyday can have the Holiday spirit, but Christmas is the time where I feel compelled to be grateful of what I’ve made and got and give back when honestly, I don’t care about getting the most expensive stuff anymore like I used to when I was way younger. This film is so sincere in what it wants to say, and you know this is indeed the same guy that made Minions. Yeah, not kidding and I’ll let you sit with that if you’re reading this as I continue because we have to talk about that moment...

Yeah, I don’t like being the Nostalgia Critic, but I too don’t take kindly to the ‘liar reveal’ trope myself and this could’ve been a point where the film lost me a little. Though you know what? It still works. See, with that trope, what sucks is that it can tend to unravel the plot to where you know as soon as they break apart, they’ll get back together regardless of the deed done. This is why I don’t like A Bug’s Life, don’t @ me. But I’m not saying it can’t done right, like in Over the Hedge. The breakup between Jesper and the others is painful, but it is necessary to give us a couple great character moments. One is with Jesper and his dad, who came back personally to see that Jesper has indeed built something for himself. We get no dialogue between them but it’s clear that even when Jesper’s unintentionally successful thanks to Yzma and Bubba, he can tell his son wasn’t happy leaving everything behind, so he lets him stay since that was what he truly wanted this whole time. Again, give that man some credit for amazing dad. Another moment comes before the big reveal where not only do we see Jesper come to understand his own guilt surrounding his original intentions, but in the end they never hated him for coming back, especially due to him inadvertently stopping the enemy feud all together. Lastly, without that moment, we probably wouldn’t have got this smile. When Margu, purest character ever that I could make a whole segment about but I don’t wanna keep you too long, started to tear up after calling for Jesper thinking he left for good but she then sees our guy never really left and we get this teary smile:

I felt that. Almost more than anything else in this film.

Cliched as it can appear, the execution excels in those more memorable emotions for this film. It’s been a year since I watched this again and I remember so much about these characters. And my god, I haven’t even gotten to the animation which... my god.

Klaus is indeed the most beautiful upon beautiful films I’ve seen, and what makes it better is that it all enhances the story. I mention before of its transitional visual from cold to warm sights, but goddamn, the character designs, the environments, the expressiveness, the textures all amount to style perfect for this alone. I think it would’ve as well received if it had a more flat look, but they seriously went higher for a traditional appealing story that compliments the unique children’s storybook look of it all. This honestly is better than most of modern Disney films that I’ve seen, ironic since it feels like if you took Tangled the Series and made it 3D with more fluid character animation. And if I’m comparing something to the continuous mindblower that’s Tangled the Series, you’ve most certainly got on my best side.

Sergio Pablos and his team really pulled no punches in making this a great movie. A great Christmas movie, one worth seeing if not at least once but every Holiday season for tradition’s sake. Klaus gave me a good time, made me cry, and above all showed me to never stop having a good heart because doing good can indeed go far, thankless as it can be. Heck, my heart felt more rejuvenated than before in making this critique, that’s a testament to how much good this film means to me personally. What else is there to say?

It's The Best

[thran-duils]

Doll Me Up (P.6)

Title: Doll Me Up (Part Six) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark Mob!Tony Stark. On good days, you and Tony were a power couple. You, a perfect trophy wife with your hands in local charities to promote a wholesome image. Tony, business man but sullied with organized crime. He indulged in his illegal gambling, extortion, and political corruption. And he indulged in his escort business. Hell, that is where he had found you. You were a brat, and he loved a challenge. Words: 2.858 Warnings: Unhealthy relationships, smut, daddy kink, dom/sub, manipulation, death, violence, possessive behavior Author’s Note: Pepper is going to be mentioned not as a love interest. If that bothers you, please don’t read on!

Part Five || Part Seven || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

Three months ago… (cont.)

Tony realized he had not seen Y/N for a while. They were at a good point to pause their playing, so he told them all to get refreshers and have a break.  The escort girls were waiting on the men and one of them came up to Tony, all flirtatious smile, asking him if he wanted her to grab him something.

“No, dear. Thank you though. I need to go check on my lovely little wife.”

He sighed heavily walking inside, expecting to find Y/N sprawled out on their bed pouting or in a bubble bath since he had told her to go upstairs if she was going to be in a bad mood.

She was not on the bed, although the window was open, the curtain blowing lightly in the breeze. He frowned seeing she was not in their bedroom or their bathroom. Or in her closet.

Tony clicked the speaker system on the wall. “F.R.I.D.A.Y… what room is Y/N in?”

“Mrs. Stark left one hour, three minutes, and 38 seconds ago.”

“What?” Tony demanded. “What do you mean left?”

“Mrs. Stark took the BMW M8 Coupe.”

His eyes bugged out of his head. “She’s driving? She had like 5 drinks!” Tony shouted and realized he was shouting at his AI system and as he turned to charge out of the room, F.R.I.D.A.Y. answered.

“Yes, sir.”

He booked it down the stairs down towards the garage to where he could check the computer system to track where the car was. He was fuming but beneath the anger, was simmering worry. He did not want her to get into an accident. How the hell did she just leave without saying anything? How the hell did she think she was okay to drive?

Impatiently, he waited for the menu to load and he slapped the screen to click her car the second he was able to. His finger were tapping quickly on the desk as the map came up. He narrowed his eyes.

“Ocean Park?” he murmured, racking his brain. It clicked and he shook his head. She had a friend that lived there. The car was not moving, she must be at their house. He watched for another minute to make sure the car really did not move before he pushed away from the desk pissed off.

When he came back out onto the patio, he made a beeline for where his phone was on the poker table. He dialed her number, his other hand coming up to his hip. She did not answer, and he called back immediately. After the fourth in a row, he let out an aggravated noise, swearing under his breath. He turned around to go over to where his guys had migrated to around the pool, clutching his phone.

“Who is the most sober?” he demanded as he tore his sunglasses off to make sure they saw his eyes and how serious he was about his question.

Happy shook his head – not a surprise to Tony. It was his day off. Mikhail and Louis raised half hearted hands, looking confused.

“Stop drinking. I’m gonna need you to drive me.”

“What’s going on?” Happy asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“Y/N decided to take a little joy drive. Fucking… she was definitely not sober. She left an hour ago. She’s down by the Santa Monica pier. Her friend. Name starts with a C.” Happy went to put his drink down and Tony wagged his finger, stalling his movement. “No, you enjoy the pool. Enjoy yourself. I’ll deal with it.” He pointed at Mikhail and Louis. “I wanna go in like a half hour to an hour. Is that gonna work?” They both nodded and Tony said, “Good. I’m gonna try to call her ass again. Little bitch is ignoring me.”

He turned away from them, dialing her number again. “Trying to wreck her fucking birthday present,” he muttered, thinking he had just bought her that car and how pissed he was gonna be if she did get into an accident with it.

<><><>

Tony came into the kitchen, fully dressed. He had not been in the bedroom when you woke up but F.R.I.D.A.Y. told you that he was down in his lab. You had decided to not bother him and instead gotten ready and come downstairs to make yourself a light breakfast. You had made him some eggs too just in case.

You told him as such when he came over to give you a kiss. He made a pleased hum and took a forkful to appease you. He moved away to pour a coffee, tossing a look over at you.

“Hmm, that’s a nice suit.”

You had chosen a bright yellow one, barely there.

“Just gonna get some sun since I can’t go anywhere yet,” you said, eyeing him. “Unless you wanna give me the new garage code…?”

“No,” Tony said almost immediately. “No car yet.”

It had been a week and a half since you had run off on him. Again. He had removed the bar of you going outside a couple days after he brought dinner home.

“I’m not gonna go anywhere that’s not around here. I just wanna drive.”

“That’s not something I can trust you with yet.”

You pushed away from the counter and came to stand in front of him. He stared at you, cocking an eyebrow before he took a sip of his coffee. He was just patiently waiting to see what you were going to do.

Without breaking eye contact, you sunk to your knees, pulling at his belt buckle. He did not fight you; you saw him try to hide a smirk as you pulled his dick out, beginning to stroke slowly. Your tongue flicked at his tip, his eyes locked on you.

Suddenly, he held a finger up to you, placing his coffee down on the counter. He took his phone out of his pocket, dialing a number. “Yeah, Terry?” He let out a small grunt as you took him fully to the base. He shot you a warning look and you merely gave him doe eyes, humming softly. He got out in a strangled voice, “I’m gonna be late to our Zoom. Probably by 15 minutes? Mhmm. Yep.”

You were an expert at getting him to come by now, knowing all the tricks that would send him to the moon. He came in your mouth, warm coating the back of your throat. Your head was pressed against the cabinet as he held you there, emptying himself, his head thrown back and groaning.

“Good girl,” he rasped, his fingers going lax on the sides of your head.

His cock fell from your lips and you wiped at your mouth.

Tony let out an amused laugh, “That was naughty of you, baby. Trying to manipulate me like that.”

You put him back in his pants, gently zipping him back up. As you did up his belt, you asked innocently, “Did it work?”

His hand came to cup underneath your jaw, tilting your head up. He shrugged, “Kind of. Have Mikhail take you wherever you wanna go. I’ll leave you some cash.”

It was better than nothing. You wanted to get away from the house.

“Thank you,” you said, remembering your manners.

<><><>

You got even better than driving down the road a few days later, making obscene noises as you rode Tony in his board room. The two of you had climbed on top of the long table and he was lying back, letting you ride his cock. Your eyes drifted over to the window, looking out over New York City. You were so high up. He had never taken you to NYC before and damn, was he showing you the sights with his view from Stark Tower.

It had started with a hand up your skirt the moment the door had closed behind the two of you.

Tony assured you that the room was soundproof, grinning devilishly at you as his fingers slipped past your underwear, toying at your sex.

“Daddy,” you had pouted, trying to get away from him. You wanted more of a tour of the building than just his office and this board room.

“Yes, princess?” he purred, his other hand come down on the table beside you, blocking you from moving that way. His hand caressing you pinched at your sex and you bucked back.

Your hand came up to his chest and you tugged at his collar. “What about the rest of the building?”

“Who cares about the rest of the building? That’s where the grunts work,” Tony said, his nose buried in your neck. He nipped at your shoulder, kissing softly.

“But they are important. Maybe I wanna meet them.”

Tony pulled away enough to look at you. He saw you were serious and he laughed amused, bordering on condescending. “Mhm, you don’t gotta worry about them. But, it’s cute of you to do so.”

He was back at your neck, leaving a wet trail of kisses. He coaxed you, his fingers pressing in. A low growl left his throat, “Imagine if I fucked you in front of the board as I gave a presentation?”

You had crawled up on the table at that, beckoning him to follow you and he had done so without hesitation. He had been more than willing to let you crawl on top, sinking down onto his length, the skirt of your summer dress spread out around the two of you. You egged him on as you hovered, letting him drive himself up into you. His eyes were swimming with determination and you drug your teeth across your bottom lip, not breaking eye contact, causing him to thrust harder at your lewd stare.

“You’re so sexy, baby,” he husked.

Perfect timing. You raised yourself up out of reach, empty of him, staring down.

Tony cocked his head slightly, his fingers digging into your thighs.

“Baby,” his voice rumbled low. “Don’t you go teasing me now.”

“I want to go to the Met.”

If his eyes could have rolled out of his head, they would have. “Jesus Christ. Really?”

He had refused you when you had asked on the jet over here, telling you it was boring. He had been though, and you had never been. You wanted to at least experience it.

You began to sink back down onto his cock again and his breath hitched before you pulled away again. His jaw set, frustration setting into his features.

“I wanna go!” you told him firmly.

“I told you—”

You started to swing your leg over to move away from him but his arm came swinging up to meet you, anticipating your movement. He dropped your momentum – it was weak, admittedly, because you were doing it more for show than anything, knowing you were going to get your way when he was this worked up. He would do anything to finish. His momentum though was not weak and your knee came slamming back down on the table.

“Ow!” you complained..

His other hand snaked around you, yanking you to him so your noses were almost touching.

“Princess, I’m telling you right now. You drag this out, I’m gonna put you – and you alone – right back on that jet without seeing anything other than this damn room.” You pouted again and he growled, “I’m fucking serious. Behave and I’ll take you to that stupid museum.”

“It’s not stupid—” you started to argue but quickly lined himself back up with his other hand and drove himself up into you roughly, cutting you off as you gasped.

Fine. If that is how he wanted to play.

You pushed away from his embrace, settling back. You took control of the rhythm, riding him again. His grin was wide, resting back down to let you fuck him. You closed your eyes, going quickly as broken husks of praise fell from his lips.

“Tony!”

The voice snapped you from your haze and you stopped midthrust, looking over your shoulder in shock and embarrassment. Pepper was standing there by the door, her head turned to avoid looking at the pair of you.

Tony’s fingers dug into your hips as he did a curl up to peer past you at Pepper.

“What?” he demanded annoyed that she was interrupting.

“Your 2 o’clock showed up early,” Pepper said in an even voice. How did she manage to be so calm and collected at a situation like this, you wondered.

“Well, make them wait. I’m obviously in the middle of something. If you would turn your head about 90 degrees you’d clearly see that, Pepper.”

“I’m good,” Pepper replied flatly. “I heard enough when I came in here.”

Tony snorted, lying back down. “Make his ass wait, like I said. I don’t bend to his schedule. I need to finish my ‘meditation’.” His hand smacked your ass roughly. “That means you. Relax me.”

Pepper rolled her eyes before turning and leaving the room. The door closed behind her and your eyes were still on the door before Tony gave a rough thrust. You whined, your head turned back to look at him.

“You heard the woman. We have an appointment that decided they needed to be up in my ass. Why even make an appointment if you’re not going to keep the time? Speed it up, princess, if you still wanna earn your reward.”

Moving again, you planted your hands on his chest. Your nails dug in and he hissed. “I’m gonna drain you, daddy.”

His smile was wicked, watching your breasts bounce. It did not take long after that for him to empty, holding you tightly in place as his cock twitched inside of you. He exhaled deeply, slapping your ass again, his hand lingering and caressing.

“Fuck that was good,” he breathed. “I think you earned your prize.”

<><><>

You sat in Tony’s office playing on your phone as he spoke business with the man. It was illegal, what they were talking about. The man was ignoring the fact you were in there; he must trust the fact that you were married to Tony that you were not going to leak anything. They spoke in hushed tones even though the door was closed. It was boring really and you were not catching much of the conversation.

When they stood up, shaking hands, you almost breathed a sigh of relief. You wanted to leave the office and go do some sightseeing. The two of them left you alone in the office and you sat in silence.

The door opened again and you looked up, expecting Tony but found Pepper walking in holding a file. She hesitated only for a second seeing you but moved on, placing the file on the desk.

“Hey, Pepper,” you said to her as she moved to leave the office. She stopped and turned, looking at you expectantly. “What would you suggest I do while I’m here? I’ve never been to the city before.”

“Does Tony not have an itinerary laid out?” You shook your head and she said, “That doesn’t sound like him.”

“He didn’t even wanna go to the Met. He told me it was boring.”

“I’m not surprised by that.”

Her eyes flicked to your stomach which was not missed by you. It would be a couple months before you were supposed to start showing but you knew she knew. The cat was definitely out of the bag by now.

“Obviously can’t do any drinking stuff,” you said, trying to remove the elephant in the room. “I’m just excited to be here though and wanna do some fun stuff. Especially now that I can go outside again.”

Pepper’s brow furrowed. “Why couldn’t you go outside..?”

You shrugged, “I was grounded.”

“Grounded.” She repeated the word, sounding a mixture of disbelief and confusion.”

“Tony didn’t like a decision I made.”

“You mean you running off to another state?”

So, that cat was also out of the bag.

Shrugging again, you said, “Yeah. That. That really made him mad.”

“I would think he was more worried than anything, Y/N.”

“He had someone beat up because they tried to let me have a place to stay for the night.” That seemed to surprise her. Hmm, something she did not know. “And then I got locked inside. So, like I said, if you have any places you really like around the city… I could use the pointers to make the most of this.”

Pepper was silent for a few moments before she said, “If you like architecture and history, I really like the St. Patrick’s Cathedral. I’m not Catholic myself but the building is beautiful. The SeaGlass Carousel is fun. And Mario’s has really good food.”

“Hmm,” you said in response. “Thanks!” You took out your phone and typed them in as you told her, “That’s helpful.”

“No problem. I do have to get back to work though,” Pepper told you.

You nodded, “I understand. Thanks again.”

She left the room and you smiled, hoping you had started to make a helpful friend.

~~~

Forever tags: @coconutqueen21

Fic tags: @kvzctam, @farihafangirls, @teenageregression, @mrsnegan25, @lilacs-lavender, @agustdowney, @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay

[evarcana]

Courtiers + Christmas

Sorry, dear anon, it took me ages 😓 well at least I did it before xmas, right?

To avoid the whole discourse about why the bunch of demons and one morally corrupted human are celebrating Christmas, I should say that this is based on the MC inviting the courtiers to celebrate together.

Valdemar🎄😈

Not like they usually pay attention to silly human holidays. But if it is you inviting... “how delightful” - of course Valdemar is coming. The problem is that in their millennia of existence being busy with their research they sort of missed out on what Christmas was about. “MC, don’t give me that look, this is all fairly new”, you don’t even want to what is old for them. But it’s Valdemar so they lock themselves in dungeons and put all their inhuman determination into researching Christmas.

Valdemar’s research is ...advanced. After they excitingly start telling you whether you knew that red in decorations symbolises blood, you decide it’s time to intervene, hand Valdemar list of gifts to buy and encourage them to return to their usual work (who would believe you would ever say it).

They turn to the party/dinner dressed as Santa (or whatever equivalent). Are you shocked? Erm yes... But why are other guests loving it ?! Well they did become sort of xmas expert in less than a week so you guess it’s okay. Expects lots of stories on how Christmas celebrations developed over the last centuries.

Charms your grandma or elderly auntie by being the only person capable of listening about their chronical conditions and actually engaging on the topic. Your little niece/neighbour’s kid loves them too - they expertly removed all those bits of turkey leg they don’t like to eat in less than 5 seconds. Everybody loves them. But Valdemar still spends most of the time telling what a fascinating specimen you are.

When it comes to gift exchange part, you are glad that they only added a few medical books, plague masks and antiseptics to the list, could be worse.., but where is yours present? “You, my little silly duckling, are on the naughty list this year” with this Valdemar gently throws you in their sack grabs you and excuses you both from the party. You try to protest but they only say that they played along for long enough and now it’s their turn to play little game with you. Oh well you can leave early one year, it promises to be worth it.

Valerius 🎁🍷

Every year Valerius receives plenty of invitations to winter holidays parties arranged by the nobles but this is the first time he got invitation to something that personal. Tells you that he needs to check his diary and finally reluctantly agrees only because “there was a rather unfortunate cancellation”. But really in his head he is like “Omg does it mean that I am part of the family now? Cancel all plans NOW.”

Then he learns that you plan to have Christmas dinner/party at your place. The consul of Vesuvia to go to that ...shack?? That’s unthinkable: The party will be in his estate, yes he knows that it’s incredibly generous of him to offer and no you cannot refuse.

And this is when things are getting extra. You know that crazy neighbours competitions whose Christmas lights are brighter and decorations are better? That’s Valerius, although he has nobody to compete with really. The massive xmas tree got delivered from who-knows-where and who-knows-how in 2 days, and there is no red, golden or green decoration item left in stock in entire Vesuvia, oh and some the palace’s best cooks suddenly took a sick leave for a week (no it was Valerius promising them triple wages).

You ask Valerius not to get any expensive presents, otherwise you will feel bad, he did indeed agree that it was reasonable suugestion. Everybody gets presents more expensive than life. The guests surpringly find Valerius a very good host, this might have something to do with those gifts which were definitely extra or with the fact that everybody got merry in like 20 min thanks to all the fancy wine. Valerius is gossip central, argues about politics with your annoying uncle and plays board games with children.

Insists that it would be better if you stay overnight and not travel home late. Falls asleep in chair with drink in hand like an old man. Later that chair somehow migrates to the hallway by the guest bedroom, under the strategically placed mistletoe. Wait, where did red silky robes come from? All planned. Let’s hope that the unfortunate relative of yours is not staying in the same guestwing.

Vlastomil 🎅🏻 🪱

It’s lovely of you to invite him but he is a busy worm man and cannot really leave his children alone. Maybe he can just stop by? “No, MC! Don’t get offended!!”

Then he learns that Christmas is usually about family, does it mean that his children can come as well?? Ugh while you are mumbling something about that worms may not be very comfortable at your place, Vlastomil decides that the Christmas party will be held in his garden so the worms everybody can enjoy it.

Prepare to have a ...thematic Christmas. There is white xmas tree decorated with the shimmery worms and candy canes which have worms wrapped around them. Okay, even you are not the biggest fan of worms you have to admit that the ice sculptures of worms are quite impressive. He even has little nativity scene but with the worms.

Everybody receives crystal tree decoration baubles with live worms inside. Everybody is shocked. Vlastomil explains that it’s only stocking fillers and there are more gifts. (Also crystal baublesare only for transportation, the worms need to be free range, how dare you). The actual gifts are... amazing. Somebody got a scarf that they liked but didn’t have enough money to buy on that day, another person got a album of pin up pictures of snake women even if it was supposed to be a secret interest of theirs and you got that sparkly princess teara you cried for your parents to buy at age 5 but they never did (cmon, x years later, you still like it).

Some little child says that Vlastomil is like Santa with how you he magically read people’s wishes (there there, little one, it’s just the power of gossip), but Vlastomil is vibing: wiggler gets elf outfit from somewhere and you get lots of invitations to “come to sit on Santa’s lap”. Yes you can stay there after all the guests leave (and yes you can keep your sparkly teara on).

Volta 🍪🥛

Was secretly dreaming to be invited since at least October. But is still genuinely surprised when you ask her to come. She asks tonnes of questions: who else is coming, are you sure they would like Volta, what are you going to do, will there be food?

Volta wants to help you with all the preparations. Not like she is super useful but she did dig out from the piles of stuff in her estate and bring you lots of old tree decorations and some nice tableware. She basically spends all your time with you in the build up to Christmas: you decorate the house together, make gingerbread houses (well more like you made one house from the 1000s attempt, they all got eaten before they were actually completed) and pack gifts for everybody.

You warned all the guests that there going to be lots of food this year, and no you finally don’t need to worry about what to do with the leftovers and crying “end me, I am sick of having xmas food for 10 days in a row” because they are not going to be any leftovers. But you didn’t expect Volta to turn up with even more food. “Volta does not want anybody to starve on Christmas!”. She surely eats lots but she is also looking after other people lots, passing them plates with food (just imagine her holding it with both of her tiny hands) and topping up their drinks, she wants everybody to enjoy the dinner.

Everybody at the table is talking of how adorable Volta is, and nobody can even hide tears when Volta presents little hand made gifts that she prepared herself. But Volta humming Christmas carols? How does she even know Christmas carols? This is illegal level of cuteness.

Volta wants to stay to help you to clean up when the dinner is over. It’s quite and it’s only two of you. Oh you might still have some sweet things in the cupboard.

Vulgora🔥🌟

At first super excited to be invited but the next second they ask what is Christmas about and what does it involve. You decorate, eat, chat to people and exchange gifts? That sounds awfully boring to Vulgora. Can they at least smash the tree in the end? What do you mean - NO?!?!

Eager to help too. They need to use their energy somewhere. You are not sure whether it’s the type of help you wanted. You asked them to carry the xmas tree from the market? There are 5 trees in front of the house, one of which is like is almost 10’ tall. You asked them to chop some wood for the fire? Well, there is enough to have a bonfire in the towncentre. But on the positive side, your house is lavishly decorated this year, Vulgora likes the red and golden theme.

Lots of battle stories at the dinner, some of which ...lack xmas spirit a bit. All the gifts are...war themed. Then Vulgora gets bored and wants to fight for the right to cut the turkey/ vegan nut roast, whatever you are having. Oh no. But they can smash nuts with their gauntlets - the guests are impressed and suddenly want more battle stories. On the positive side, it’s definitely not boring this year, Vulgora is load and energetic.

But then suddenly Vulgora suggests you all go outside, when you question them, they say it’s a surprise. It’s hard to believe what you see: they prepared fireworks and sparkle fountains !!! You cannot help but smile watching vulgora excitingly running around setting them all off (but hopefully not setting your house on fire).

You watch firework lighting up the sky with Vulgora hugging you from behind and then..they rugby tackle you to the ground?! Well whether there is snow or not, they want to have a fight. Luckily the fireworks are over and the guests can just...leave you two to it.

[hot-wiings]

The One Where Father!Keigo Dresses Up As Santa.

Edited: 12-6-2020

You huffed as you watched the clock on the wall. Each minute that passed turned into an hour, and with each passing hour, you found yourself growing even more frustrated and upset. Keigo was supposed to take the week off on holiday, but he had to go out for an emergency. You knew your husband's occupation as a hero meant sometimes he'd be busy. As a Todoroki you knew this better than anyone, but it still hurt when he was absent. You were fine with Keigo leaving for an hour or two, but an 'hour or two' turned into the entire morning, which turned into the afternoon, and now it was already nine in the evening on Christmas eve.

The media wasn't even covering whatever emergency he handling which only infuriated you more.

Keigo promised to be here for the holidays, here for you and your daughter but he wasn't. It was important for him to be present for your daughter, she was at the age where she still believed in the magic of Santa, and old enough to look back and remember it once she was older. These were the important years. These were the important, fundamental years for a child, but her father wasn't even here, instead it was just you and your younger siblings, Natsuo, Fuyumi, and Shouto.

"Mommy! When is daddy gonna be home? Aunt Fuyumi said we have to be asleep for Santa to come. If daddy comes home and he's awake Santa won't come!"

"Oh, little bird, daddy's gonna be home soon, and I'll make him put on his pajamas and we'll all go to sleep as soon as Aunt Fuyumi and Uncle Shouto leave, okay?"

"Okay... But he better be here soon or I hope Santa gives him coal."

You chuckled at your daughter. The little out she gave you was adorable. With her lip jutting out and her arms crossed you could certainly tell she got her pouting genes from her father.

"If he's not home by the end of the hour I'll personally see to it that Santa gives him some coal."

A knock on the door broke you and your daughter away from each other. She flew to the door like a fly to light, a trait passed down through courtesy of her father. You followed after her so you could answer the door, stranger danger was something you were currently big on with her. She knew she wasn't allowed to open the door alone, even if she thought it was her father. You unlatched the door and opened it expecting your husband, but it wasn't. Instead, you came face to face with your younger brother Natsuo in a Santa suit.

"S-Santa?"

Your daughter shyly hid behind your legs as she peered up at the man before her. With his white hair and fake beard, your brother was a convincing fake Santa. You mouthed a quick thank you to your brother before kneeling to talk to your daughter.

"[D/N] it's Santa!"

"But Santa doesn't come until we're asleep, Aunt Fuyumi said so."

"Well, I make exceptions for the very good little girls. I needed to stop to let my deer use the bathroom, so I figured why not visit the Takami household and let little [D/N] open one gift early."

Your daughter gasped, looked up at you and tugged on your dress with a wide smile on her face.

"Mommy, can I open a present from Santa?"

"Of course baby! Why don't you go take him to the tree and I'll bring him some cookies we made. But only one before bed, okay?"

You chuckled as watched your daughter grasp Natsuo's hand tightly and pull him further in the house. You shut the door and locked it to preserve the heat before going to the fridge to pull out some milk and cookies. It wasn't long before you heard the sound of keys jangling, with milk and cookies forgotten you made your way to the door, unlocked it, and swung it open.

"Well, look who finally decided to show up."

"Baby..."

Keigo gave you a sheepish expression as he made his way inside the house. He kicked off his snowy shoes and placed them by the door before turning to you. He knew you were mad, furious even. He knew he should've told them he couldn't come out, he should've said he needed to be with his family, but he didn't.

"I know you're angry."

"What gave it away?"

"I shouldn't have gone out on Christmas, but I'm a hero, and that's what heroes do."

"I know that Keigo, I know that, you know who doesn't? Our seven-year-old daughter. You wanna know who's been asking where you were all night? Our daughter."

Keigo let out a ragged sigh as he made way to the bedroom. You hadn't even noticed he had a plastic bag in his hand until he set it on the bed and started to pull clothes out of it.

"If you think gifts are gonna make up for the absence, think again. I know firsthand that means shit, besides, Santa's supposed to come tonight."

"You think I'm that simple-minded?"

Keigo turned to you with a shit-eating grin as he held the material from the bag up to his body. Red with white linings, it was a Santa suit, and you were sure there was a beard and hat still in the bag.

"The absence of her father is going to be meaningless once Santa shows up."

You chuckled as you looked at your husband. This was his grand idea? Show up as Santa and everything will be fine. While it might've been a good idea, your daughter could never pass her father off as Santa, she saw him every morning, every night. Besides that fact, Natsou was already out being a believable Santa.

Then again, the idea of Keigo going out in a Santa suit when Santa was already here amused you. You could already feel your anger dissipating.

"How are you gonna pull that one off? Last I checked, Santa didn't have wings."

Keigo turned around and scrambled his hands into the bag searching for something. Finally, with said item in hand, he turned around and waved it in front of you.

"I got a harness. I use it when I go undercover, it helps conceal my wings."

Keigo began to strip himself and then he pulled on the Santa suit. Before he got to the top he slipped the harness on. It had two straps on each side meant to go under the arms and wrap around his wings. Keigo put his arms over it and tried reaching behind to pull it through the loop and tie the ends together but he couldn't reach. Usually, he had his sidekick do this.

"Can you help tighten it? I can't reach."

"Oh, how the turn tables have turned."

"Just help me, I promise I'll never tease you for your height again."

"That's a lie, and we both know it."

You huffed, but never the less grabbed onto the harness and pulled the lines over his wings. You pulled the right tie through the metal loop on the left and pulled tight.

"Damn baby, could you be any tighter? Might have to bring my harness home more often."

"Don't make me put you on the naughty list."

Keigo chuckled as you tied off the harness and handed him his coat. He buttoned himself up and put the fake beard on before turning to face you.

"How do I look?"

"Like you're too skinny."

"Hey now, don't body shame Santa. I could put you on the naughty list."

Keigo walked out into the entertainment room where you had the tree put up to find his daughter. He could just imagine the look of surprise and happiness on her face when she saw Santa.

"Ho-ho-ho, Santa is here!"

Upon seeing him, Keigo's daughter was anything but happy. She was rather upset that her father dared to claim he was Santa, not when the real Santa was behind her.

"Daddy! What are you doing?"

"I'm not your father, I'm Santa!"

"Daddy, Santa is behind me, he's gonna put you on the naughty list."

It was then that he noticed Natsuo in a Santa costume behind her. Your daughter ran up to Keigo so he knelt down to her height to talk to her. She grabbed into his shirt tightly and urgently.

"Identify theft is bad daddy, Santa will throw you in jail."

"What? No."

"Lucky for you, I've spent the evening with Santa. I'm going to give you a once in a lifetime opera- opporatunity- chance. A once in a lifetime chance."

Keigo's daughter leaned into him and whispered quickly in his ear.

"I hope you're a good liar, in exchanged for you sneaking cookies past mom, I'll tell Santa you were forced to do it by the Grinch."

"Kid, I like the way you think, peanut butter or sugar cookie?"

"Sugar cookie."

His daughter broke away from him and ran up to Natsuo, or rather Santa Claus. She threw her arm into her head dramatically, like she was in a soap opera.

"Santa, oh Santa. The evil Grinch is back at it again! He forced my daddy to put on a suit and steal your identity. Please don't send him to jail! Or worse! The naughty list."

Natsuo gave his best hearty chuckle that he imagined Santa would give. Honestly, he just did his best to mimic All Might.

"That Grinch sure is a scoundrel! I'll let your father off the hook this time, but next time he better watch out, and he better not cry."

Keigo stood up and walked over to you. He wrapped his arms around you and let his head rest on your shoulder which you gladly accepted.

"You set me up."

"Maybe... But hey, at least you're off my naughty list."

Keigo might be absent from time to time, and you might get angry at him for it, but he always came back. He made you happy, he made you and [D/N] happy and secure. In the end, that was what mattered.

[gameofdrarry]

Wizards Hearts Recs: Holiday Fic

Wizards Hearts was a four-month-long Drarry reading fest. Players were given a playing deck of 52 tropes, and were asked to find 52 different fics to read and comment on to fill their decks. To prevent the same few fics from being read, fics were restricted to only being used for the game three times before being considered ineligible for further points. The tropes and submissions list can be found here.

Check out the masterlist of fics for this trope below the cut!

📜 East of Eden by  WriteSprite Rated:  Explicit Words:  41,122 Tags:  Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language, Parseltongue, Dirty Talk, Rimming, Biting, Drinking Games Summary:  When Harry receives a dodgy brochure for an island vacation, he isn't sure he should attend. After a bit of a push, he decides to go for it and winds up spending the week in paradise. At least it would be, if it weren't for that pesky blond git. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Take My Hand by daisymondays Rated:  Explicit Words:  12814 Tags: Summer, Summer Romance, Pining, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, First Kiss, Drinking Games, Harry Potter Has Dimples, Draco Malfoy Can't Cope, Fluff, Sharing a Bed, Auror Partners, Draco Has Feels To Spare, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Meddling Friends, Touching, Soooo Much Touching, HP: EWE Summary:  Draco has long resigned himself to pining after Harry... that is until an invite on the annual Ministry holiday gives him a chance to change everything. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 December Never Felt So Wrong by MaesterChill Rated:  Explicit Words:  50001 Tags: Post-Hogwarts, Angst, Mystery, time skip, 00's Music Sung Badly, Fluff, Amnesia, A niffler, 25 Days of Draco and Harry 2018, curse magic, Knitting, Sex, Cuddles, Blow Jobs, First Time Sex, wanking, Advent Fic, Christmas, Magical Artifacts, Falling In Love, Magical Theory, drarry dads, Rimming, Memory Loss, A tiny bell, Sharing a Bed, Dad Jokes, Cursed objects Summary:  'Twas the month before Christmas and sixteen year old Draco Malfoy had never felt worse. His attempts to kill Dumbledore were failing and, as usual, Harry Fucking Potter was a constant thorn in his side. All that suddenly changed when Draco woke up 15 years in the future and discovered that not only was he allegedly shagging Harry Fucking Potter, he also had thinning hair and a five year old son, and no fucking clue how he got there. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Tell Me the End at the Beginning by harryromper Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  36591 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Hogwarts, St Mungo's Hospital, Healer Draco Malfoy, Auror Harry Potter, Auror Hermione Granger, Christmas, Christmas Tree, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Christmas Presents, Christmas Decorations, 25 Days of Harry and Draco, Food Hall Turkeys, Advent Calendar, Healer Luna Lovegood, Kreacher, Minor Neville Longbottom/Ginny Weasley, Yule Logs, Misheard Christmas carols Summary:  St Mungo’s is the last place anyone wants to spend the festive season. Harry finds himself there anyway. Or: Harry's an Auror suspended from duty, Malfoy's wearing the hell out of three-piece suits, Hermione is entirely over everything, and Kreacher just wants to be left alone to decorate for Christmas. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Too Cold Outside (For Angels to Fly) by gracerene Rated:  Explicit Words:  62688 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Second War with Voldemort, Post-Hogwarts, Creature Fic, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Veela Draco Malfoy, Veela (Harry Potter), Auror Partners, Auror Harry Potter, Auror Draco Malfoy, Aurors, Case Fic, Murder Mystery, Mild Gore, Advent Calendar, Christmas, Drinking, Scotland, United Kingdom, Muggle London, POV Alternating, Coffee Shops, Past Character Death, Past Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Minor Dean Thomas/Ginny Weasley, Crime Fighting, Duelling, Burns, Blood and Injury, Bars and Pubs, Getting Together, Romance, Light Angst, Happy Ending, Bisexual Harry Potter, Gay Draco Malfoy, Anal Sex, Riding, Shower Sex, Hand Jobs, 25 Days of Harry and Draco, 25 Days of Harry and Draco 2019, Switching, Wings, Wing Kink, Veela Mates, Mating Bond, Anal Fingering, Bonding, Dirty Talk Summary:  The Auror Department and the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures are working to create a new division partnering human wizards and Magical Beings in order to more effectively police crime involving any and all classifications of Magical Creature. Auror Harry Potter jumps at the chance to join the pilot programme, but he starts to regret his rashness when he discovers who he's to be partnered with: Draco Malfoy. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 If the Fates Allow by Saras_Girl Rated:  Mature Words:  80957 Tags: N/A Summary:  What's that crackling in the walls? Harry has no clue at all. He'll eat some cake and drink some wine Because he is completely FINE. --A story about life's disregard for our plans. [2017 advent story] ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 A New Peace by MalenkayaCherepakha Rated:  Explicit Words:  5566 Tags: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Semi-Public Sex Summary:  Of all the people Draco expected to walk into his cafe in Muggle London, Harry Potter was not one of them. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 flashback, warm nights by warmfoothills Rated:  Mature Words:  13068 Tags: Deathly Hallows AU, or more specifically, the godric’s hollow christmas shitshow of 1997, but with ron and draco!, and no snake-animated corpses!, instead:, Grand theft auto, a lot of blood, teenage fugitives, a time loop, Horcrux Hunting, one psychopathic quinquagenarian, Bodily Injuries, the ~power of love, Breaking and Entering, hospital food, questionable headwear, kissing in the backseat, kissing in the freezer aisle, Kissing in the Snow Summary:  “What’s killing me is that I actually quite fucking like Christmas, festival-for-a-personally-irrelevant-religion-turned-commercialised-garbage-holiday though it may be, and now I’m stuck in the perpetual almost-there of it all with an idiot who gets himself cut up every time no matter how differently I try and do things!” “Killing you?” Potter asks. “I thought I was the one who’s about to get my torso sliced into?” ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 All Must Draw Near by Saras_Girl Rated:  Mature Words:  61080 Tags: N/A Summary:  Harry doesn't have time for rumours; he has a shop to run. Which is just as well, really. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 With A Little Help From Hermione by naarna Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  6983 Tags: N/A Summary:  Secret Santa at Hogwarts with every House participating in the name of unity... And Hermione suddenly finds herself in the position of a matchmaker. ❤️ Read on Fanfiction.net

📜 Faint Indirections  by ignatiustrout Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  29793 Tags: University, Wizarding World of the United States of America, Americans, Post-Second War with Voldemort, Librarian Harry Potter, Harry Potter Has a Pet Snake, Parselmouth Harry Potter, College Student Draco Malfoy, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Anxious Harry Potter, Baby Gay Draco Malfoy, Bisexual Harry Potter, Friendship, Family Dinners, Halloween parties, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Romance, Misunderstandings, Internalized Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, H/D Fan Fair 2019, Secondary Theme: Book Fair Summary: Draco Malfoy is the last person Harry expects to turn up in Boston, Massachussetts. But now he's here, and he won't stop requesting books from the library where Harry works. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The 12 Dates of Draco  by Drarryismymuse (Hatchersn) Rated:  Explicit Words:  16808 Tags: 12 Days of Christmas, Light Angst, Christmas Smut, Anal Sex Summary:  Holiday dialing, desperate attempts at reconciliation, and 12 blind dates with Draco Malfoy... oh my! OR The day Harry just can't seem to get past. But what is the universe trying to tell him? And when did Draco Malfoy get so bloody fit? He's got 12 days to figure it out. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Christmas Is For Sex (and Love), So Give It To Me by GoldenTruth813 Rated:  Explicit Words:  53218 Tags: PWP, Established Relationship, Christmas, Bondage, misuse of frosting, making gingerbread houses, coming without touching, Blowjobs, Fingering, anal penetration, Rimming, misuse of fairy lights, Praise Kink, Nipple Clamps, erotic massages, Lingerie, Harry in Lingerie, Butt Plugs, Masterbation, Dirty Talk, Overstimulation, Topping from the Bottom, Ice Play, misuse of snowballs, misuse of brandy custard, veritasium, Public Sex, misuse of christmas candles, Wax Play, floating blow jobs, bubble baths, Candy Canes, misuse of candy canes, sex with feelings, Clubbing, naughty letters, babysitting teddy, Edging, healing past trauma, really so much more than sex, but lots of sex too, spiked hot cocoa, Drunk confessions, Anal penetration with a foreign object, french!draco, Switching Summary:  Draco buys Harry an Advent House, intent on helping Harry create all new holiday memories, and have a lot of great sex in the process. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 As it Should Be by leo_draconis Rated:  Mature Words:  5670 Tags: N/A Summary:  It's Christmas Eve, and Draco's world has just shattered around him. Will a Christmas miracle give him a second chance? ❤️ Read on LJ

📜 Dream by the Fire  by GallifreyisBurning Rated:  Mature Words:  11431 Tags: Fluff, Christmas Fluff, Non-Explicit Sex, No Angst, seriously no angst whatsoever, Getting to Know Each Other, Getting Together, Coffee Shop Owner Harry Potter, Writer Draco Malfoy, Tattooed Draco Malfoy, Magical Tattoos, Memory Magic, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Wizarding History (Harry Potter), Friends to Lovers Summary:  When Draco Malfoy resurfaces in England after eight years abroad—tattooed, pierced, and wanting to take over a corner of Harry's coffee shop to work on a writing project—Harry can't help but be intrigued. Where has he been? What is he working on? Why here? And why does he have to look so stupidly hot with all those tattoos? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The best Christmas he ever had by gnarf Rated:  Teen And Up Words:  1965 Tags: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Post-War, Fred Weasley Lives, Christmas at the Burrow (Harry Potter), Mutual Pining, Drinking, Dancing, Family Feels Summary:  Christmas had never been less appealing to him than this year. That was until Arthur Weasley showed up at his door, dressed as Santa, inviting him to the Burrow. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The One Where Ginny Keeps a Secret, Sort of  by Theartfulldodger Rated:  Teen And Up Words:  4039 Tags:  Fluff, Christmas, Established Relationship, Non-Linear Narrative, Group Vacation Summary:  Harry is determined to have a good time with Ginny and Pansy for a trip to NYC over the winter holidays, even if Draco can't join them. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Adventures in Truth and Texting by fluxweed Rated:  Explicit Words:  7981 Tags: Texting, Drunk Texting, Sexting, Veritaserum, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Auror Harry Potter, Drinking, Christmas, Advent Fic, Awkwardness, everyone has phones, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE Summary:  Former Death Eaters are being targeted with a Veritaserum curse – it’s permanent, and makes victims speak aloud their every thought. Luckily, it’s easier to control when writing – and Hermione is trying to introduce Muggle technology to the wizarding world. An advent fic featuring texting, identity struggles, and a Draco Malfoy who will literally not stop talking. ❤️ Read on AO3

[mythicandco]

A Reimaging of the Classic Story of Santa Claus

Okay, so I was just daydreaming (as one does) about how messed up the world is, and somehow I came to thinking up possibly one of my most uselessly brilliant ideas yet: a rewriting and reordering of the classic Santa Claus story. 

We all know how he supposedly flies around the entire planet and gives gifts to every good girl and boy (and supposedly every nonbinary kid, too, though they’re never actually mentioned) in one night, and manages to never skip a house or mix up a present. Not only that, but he apparently delivers coal to all of the “naughty” kids, and yet not one child you’ve met - even the most rotten bully - has ever gotten such a thing. 

But I have a solution to this frankly outrageous story: Santa Claus has proven he can travel faster than any other human on this planet (it’s heavily implied he can actually stop time entirely), and he can keep track of every single human under the age of eighteen on Earth. So who’s to say he doesn’t just visit two houses: the home of the Nicest and Naughtiest Kids on the planet. 

I’ll elaborate under the cut.

For the Nicest Kid, he leaves a present that they’d only thought up in their wildest dreams, along with a note in loopy handwriting that sparkles as you read it. “To The Nicest Kid. -Santa” 

Credit to my mom for the following idea: For the Naughtiest Kid, he also leaves an extravagant present that they thought they could only dream of. This one has no note. That coupled with a rumor that sometimes Santa forgets to add a note (which he never actually does) will have a 55% chance of making them better next year. Hear me out:

So imagine, if you can, the Naughtiest Kid in the world. Maybe they’re mean to others because of a rotten core, or maybe it’s because of their terrible circumstances or maybe it’s a mix of both. No one expects to be the bottom of the barrel. They receive a glittering, magical package that their parents (or siblings, or whoever’s taking care of them) under the tree, and they open it to find it has no note; simply a present they never thought possible. One of two things will happen:

They will continue to be naughty. Either they’ll be mad that they aren’t first place or they’ll be greedy for more or something, the kid just keeps being a jerk. 

Or they will try to make themselves better. Either they’ll think, “Oh my gosh, I was terrible enough to get a present from Santa!” or they’ll think “Wait, what if I was somehow at the top of the Nice List?! How messed up does that make the rest of the world and everyone I know??” and try to better themselves. (Remember the rumor that sometimes Santa forgets to leave a note.) 

Now, I bet you’re wondering what would stop them from simply being terrible again next year and getting another present. Well, if they don’t make a considerable change or at least try to be a better person next year (which is already a feat in and of itself, whether or not they actually get that much higher in the rankings), they’ll receive a massive pile of coal. A clear sign from Santa that they’re being an asshole. After that, even if they hit the bottom of the naughty list again, they’ll only receive coal. 

It’s not a perfect system, of course, and often the Nice Kids feel pressured to keep being nice (unless the rule is they only get one Nice Present per lifetime, which could work) and the Naughty Kids might keep being naughty, but it’s really the convenience that counts. No longer will children have to question how a man moves at a physically impossible speeds and delivers more than seven billion presents in one night. No longer will they wonder why so many of their presents are from relatives and which ones are actually from Santa Claus. 

Now, I’m not usually one who loves telling lies, but frankly Santa Claus would be much easier to believe in (for those who chose to) if his story was altered. It’s morally better, it’s physically more possible, and just in general makes more sense. If anyone has anything to add, go ahead! Even with my mom’s advice for first offering positive consequences to being the bottom of the list, I’m sure there are flaws in this retelling of the story. 

tl;dr: there are lots of problems with how Santa Claus delivers gifts or coal to every kid on earth. So what if only the top and bottom of the list got something? It makes Christmas easier on both the old jolly fellow and the tired old parents of these kids. 

[mst3kproject]

Magic Christmas Tree

I thought I’d try something different this year and find a bad Hannukah movie, but everybody I asked had the same recommendation: Adam Sandler’s Eight Crazy Nights.  I know for a fact that is a prohibitively awful film, because I know people who’ve watched parts of it (I have not to date met anyone who could sit through the whole thing), but it just doesn’t feel like an MST3K feature to me.  Anyway, I have standards.  My conclusion is that people need to make more Hannukah movies… and until that happens, I’m watching Magic Christmas Tree, which comes specially recommended by RiffTrax.

This is the only Christmas movie I’ve ever seen which starts with cheerful holiday music over footage of… Hallowe’en decorations. Obnoxious bully Mark and his two pushover friends decide to go investigate a supposedly-haunted house. Naturally the old lady who lives there is a witch, and in exchange for Mark rescuing her cat, she gives him a seed for a magical tree that will grant him three wishes.  Two months later, with the tree fully grown, his first wish is to have magical powers for one hour – he uses them to torment unfortunate people who were already having to work on Christmas Eve.  His second wish is to kidnap Santa Claus and extort unlimited presents from him, but that attracts the attention of the spirit of Greed, who intends to keep Mark as a slave forever!  Good thing he’s still got that third wish.

God, I hate this movie.  I’d say it’s the worst Christmas movie I’ve ever seen, but Elves exists, so instead I have to say it’s the worst Christmas movie that didn’t have any Nazis in it.  It reminds me more than anything else of Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow, in that it’s an absolute mess that seems to have been put together by people who have no idea what they’re doing.  It spends most of its time on boring, annoying irrelevant bullshit, and then when it gets to the plot, that’s boring and annoying, too!

Magic Christmas Tree is only an hour long, but that’s twice as long as it needed to be.  A plot summary makes it sound like most of the film will be dealing with Mark’s three wishes and how he uses them, but it’s half-over before we even get to that point.  The time leading up to it is spent watching Mark follow the witch’s complicated instructions on how to grow and activate the tree, and his parents dealing with this unwanted thing appearing in the middle of their back yard.  All of this is presented in excruciating detail.  We watch Mark dig the entire hole to plant the seed in.  We see his Dad struggle with the lawnmower at unbelievable length, while the Mom yacks about nothing on the phone with her friend Betty.  The Dad tries to cut the tree down with no success.  Mark has to say a set of magic words over and over and over.

It goes on so long, it passes the are you fucking kidding me? point and wanders into territory where you wonder if there’s something wrong with the disk and you’re playing the scene over and over.  It actually starts to feel like it’s on purpose – especially when the slowness is repeatedly emphasized by shots of Mark’s pet tortoise, Ichabod, who seems to be eating his patch of clover far faster than anybody else is accomplishing anything.  You’ll swear the movie is making fun of you.

The sound that accompanies all this is sometimes very peculiar.  The old lady has exactly the voice you’d expect from a witch in a cheap kid’s movie, but Mark’s Mom sounds like she’s being dubbed by a twelve-year-old boy, possibly the same one who provided the voice for Mark himself.  The tree speaks (oh, yes, it does) in the voice of a smarmy stereotypical gay man.  Santa Claus sounds like he’s half-senile and wondering what’s for lunch.

The lawnmower makes some very strange noises indeed. I guess they’re meant to be cartoonish and funny.  They’re definitely the former but they’re never the latter, possibly because they never sound remotely like a lawnmower.  When Mark’s Dad is trying to get it started it sounds like the ghost of a consumptive horse, and three hours later when it actually gets going, it makes noises like a traffic jam in Whoville.

Besides sounding weird, the actors are just plain bad.  The guy playing Santa Claus is half-asleep.  We’re told that the tree’s magic means he’s trapped in the chair he’s sitting in, and I honestly do believe that actor could not have gotten up if he tried, no wishes necessary.  The woman playing Mark’s Mom looks like she’s high as a kite and only barely keeping her grip on reality.  Maybe that’s why they had to dub her.  Mark’s Dad recites his lines like a guy on a game show reading his own life story off a teleprompter, and does his yard chores in a way that’s probably supposed to be pantomimey but is the opposite of entertaining.  The Dad gets an inordinate amount of screen time, which I can only chalk up to the fact that he’s played by director Dick Parish.

The worst of the lot are, of course, the kids, who are predictably terrible 60’s child actors.  They yell all their lines, with the volume and exaggerated emphasis you expect from a school play.  It wears thin very, very quickly.  The kid playing Mark is the worst of the lot, although I might just think that because he’s the one we spend the most time with.  He’s a huge part of why this movie makes me so mad.

I think the best way to describe Mark as a character is to say that the first time I watched this movie I assumed his name was ‘Billy’, despite the fact that everybody kept calling him ‘Mark’. He just seems like the type of nasty little brat who’d be named ‘Billy’ in a bad 60’s Christmas movie.  We meet him having lunch with his two friends by the playground, and learn that he’s a greedy little shit when he drives a hard bargain in a sandwich trade.  Greedy-little-shit-itude continues to be his primary character trait and is, of course, the core of the movie’s lesson.  His attempt to monopolize Santa Claus makes him such a greedy little shit that Greed himself takes an interest in him.

Greed is a huge hairy man who takes delight in kidnapping little boys.  I think he’s supposed to look like a fairy tale giant.  Watching him manhandle a child is an intensely uncomfortable experience.

I guess ‘don’t be greedy’ is a standard message for a children’s movie, and it seems like a particularly appropriate one for Christmas, which presents children with a great opportunity for avarice. What seems a little odd is that Mark never actually suffers any consequences for his selfishness, only the vague threat of them. There was a perfect opportunity for some of this when Mark kidnaps Santa Claus.  Santa, after all, brings toys to good girls and boys… surely by this point, after his brief reign of terror with his magical powers, Mark has been naughty enough to deserve only coal.  Apparently that’s not how it works, though.  Mark just wanders off into the woods in search of small animals to shoot with his new rifle, runs into the giant, and immediately repents even though Greed is offering him all the toys and candy he wants.

What supposedly prompts Mark to become a better person is seeing how the world has responded to Santa Claus going missing.  Curiously, there is very little emphasis on the children who are sad because they didn’t get any presents.  Maybe somebody thought that would have made them seem greedy? Instead, the vision Greed presents to Mark is of the United States military mobilizing to locate Santa and bring him home, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians-style!  So… I guess Mark becomes a better person because he’s afraid of what’s going to happen if the army finds Santa trapped in a chair in his house?  I guess that is pretty terrifying.

Another thing that blunts the lesson is the fact that Mark is given his three wishes as a reward for a good deed.  He got the witch’s cat down from the tree, so she offers him the magical seed and doesn’t let him refuse.  What then was he supposed to use his three wishes for, if not to get stuff for himself? Was this intentionally a poisoned gift, because you shouldn’t accept things from witches?  The witch insists that there are good witches as well as wicked ones, but she’s not exactly an unbiased source.  The movie never tries to blame her, though.  The situation is presented as Mark’s fault, and Mark’s alone.

Finally, at the end Mark wakes up and finds that of course the whole thing was a dream – there was no witch, no magic tree, and no Santa Claus.  This is less annoying than it could have been because at least it’s not a surprise. Mark did hit his head when he fell out of the tree the cat was in, and the movie changed from black and white to colour.  We’ve seen this before in The Wizard of Oz and we can guess where it’s going. The audience might assume that Mark will wake up and immediately take the opportunity to be generous instead of greedy, perhaps by giving his friend something to make up for the lunch trade. Instead, the woman who owns the cat (who is not actually a witch, but looks even more like one in this part of the film than she does wearing the Hallowe’en witch costume in Mark’s dream) offers him milk and cookies, and he delightedly accepts.  This just gives the impression that he’s learned nothing.

Is there anything in this movie I didn’t hate?  Well… among Mark’s school friends is a token black kid, who is not differentiated in any way from his peers.  He talks like them, he dresses like them, and the writers did not use either his lunch or his Hallowe’en plans as a way to demarcate a class difference between him and the others.  So yeah, the movie sucks, but the writers tried really hard not to be racist.

Happy fucking holidays.  I want to say hooray for surviving 2020, but we’ve still got a week to go.  That’s plenty of time for oh, I don’t know, an alien invasion, or a giant meteor, or the Yellowstone supervolcano, or zombies, or whatever.  At this point, if most of us aren’t dead by this time next year, I’ll count that as a win.

[quixotic-writer]

Naughty or Nice?

Summary: The aftermath of the Christmas special episode for Dinner Party in which Sal and Q discuss their specially chosen costumes sent by Joe. Q decides to have a bit of fun and dresses up just for Sal and asks which of Santa’s list he’s on. 

Warning: Smut ahead!

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

“This was so stupid.” Sal takes off the Santa costume Joe had sent over. Q had made his way over to his house to spend some time together to talk about the episode they just filmed for dinner party. Sal takes it all off and Q watches with a careful eye, but to his dismay, Sal has clothes hidden underneath meaning no special strip show for him.

“C’mon, at least you didn’t get the role of Mrs. Claus!” Q waves his wig around like a white flag of defeat.

“It gets hot and stuffy under the beard and it’s just uncomfortable.” He throws the costume onto the couch and huffs. “Now. If you’ll excuse me, I need to piss.” Sal disappears into his house as Q remains on the couch. His eyes wander to the Santa costume that lay beside him and a wide grin spreads across his face as a lightbulb goes off in his head.

Sal rinses the sweat and oil off of his face and dries it off with a towel. Fresh again just for his boyfriend. With a quick rake of his fingertips through his hair he leaves the bathroom and heads back to the living room where Q waits patiently for him to return.

“Okay, I feel a lot… better… now.” When he stepped into the living room, there was Q sitting in his same spot, but this time he had the santa costume on. He looked stupid but he looked so cute at the same time, for some reason he seemed like he fit the role and maybe even a little better than Sal. It was his eyes poking through the entire costume, the sweet milk chocolate eyes that drew Sal in since the day they first met all those years ago.

“Well ho ho ho! Why don’t you come have a seat on Santa’s lap?” Q beckons him over as he lowers the tone of his voice and puts in it some holiday spirit. Sal blushes and laughs but walks on over and seats himself in his lap. “Now, tell me: have you been a naughty or a nice boy this year?” This was all so silly, but Sal continued to play along with the shenanigans. However, Sal decided to put his own devilish twist on things.

“Well, if i’m being honest, I might have been a bit of a naughty one Santa.” His voice was smooth as he spoke with a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. This quickly garner’s his lover’s interest and attention.

“Oh ho, is that so? I haven’t checked my list yet, what makes you think you’ve found yourself on the naughty list?” Sal pretends to be all bashful and innocent and it was starting to slowly get to Q.

“There’s a special someone in my life that makes me behave in naughty ways. He has me on my knees for him, makes me all hot and bothered, he’s stuck in my head especially late at night until I take care of myself if you catch my drift.” Q is sweating bullets under the costume and he knows that Sal can feel the effects of everything he’s saying.

“My, my! Seems you’ve found yourself in quite a pit of trouble!” Q begins fumbling over his words as Sal begins to adjust himself on his lap, he knew that Sal was intentionally doing it. He tries his best to mask away the hums that vibrate in his throat. “Well, I have a few ideas of how to help and get you back on the nice list.” Sal’s eyes light up and a big grin spreads across his face.

“You do?”

“I do.” Q rips the fake beard off of his face as his lips go to connect with Sal’s, wasting no time as their tongues swirl together in harmony. Sal straddles against Q and grinds their clothed cocks together to create a friction that causes them both to moan.

“Is that a present for me I feel?” Sal captures his bottom lip between his teeth, “Christmas has come early.” He lowers himself between Q’s legs and tugs his pants down to reveal his aching, twitching cock. Q’s hand rests on Sal’s cheek, his thumb rubbing against his cheek.

“Oh, Christmas will come soon enough sweetheart.” With that suggestive statement, Sal wasted no more time. Licking all the way up Q’s shaft, when he reached the tip, he gave the rosey head a kiss tasting the salty sweetness of the pre-cum that was beginning to leak out. He took the pointed tip of his tongue and ran it over his slit over and over again making Q see stars as he bucked his hips and tangled his fingers into Sal’s now lengthy hair. “Stop teasing please, give me more baby.” He began to shove Sal down onto his cock, fucking Sal’s mouth aching to feel the warmth of him. Sal took his lover’s cock willingly into his mouth quickly hollowing out his cheeks and working his magic feeling as Q’s member slid in and out of his mouth. When he looked up to him, those once sweet brown eyes had transformed into dark, half-lidded, lust filled eyes. It turned Sal on to see how much he was pleasuring his boyfriend. This in turn made him work his mouth more, taking more of his length in, humming and moaning to add vibrations, and working his tongue whenever he could.

Q was close and Sal knew it by the way his moans were slowly turning into grunts and he wanted nothing more than to see him unravel and release into his mouth.

“Fuck. Gonna–” Q quickly pulled out of Sal’s mouth. Sal watched as Q’s cock twitched before him as the two of them caught their breath.

“Why did you stop?”

“Didn’t want this to end because you’ve landed yourself on the nice list. Your present: I get to fuck you until you cum.” This sent shudders through Sal’s body, the anticipation of it all turned him on far more than he already was. The two of them were making out and making a mess as they began to rip the clothes off of the other.

“Bri, touch me. Please. You feel so good.” Frantic touches, rough kisses, grinding hips until they were a nude tangled mess on the couch only momentarily parting from one another so Sal could grab some lube from his bedroom night-stand. Q lubed up his cock and helped to stretch Sal out until he was a whiny writhing mess, “Please, Bri. Fuck me already. Need to feel you in me.” Q was happy to give his boyfriend what he wanted as he slowly pressed the tip of his cock in, disappearing slowly into Sal with a low hum.

Sweaty foreheads pressed together and wordless breaths exchanged as he allowed for Sal to adjust. “Fuck me. Rough and hard.” The green light was given as Q’s hips slowly began to move, pulling out until only the tip was in, then driving his hips forward harshly causing their skin to clap together and Sal to gasp. A rhythm was quickly built, Q hovered above Sal and Sal smoothed his hands over Q’s chest and gripped hard onto his shoulders when his cock hit just the right spots within him.

“You feel so good around me. So perfect. Fuck you’re gonna make me cum.” He reaches down to Sal’s leaking cock, taking it in a tight fist and pumping at the same time his hips slam into him.

“Fucking hell Brian, do it. Make me cum, i’m so close.” Sal’s voice was quickly growing higher in pitch as all the stimulation he was feeling was quickly building him to the inevitable wave of euphoria that his lover always supplied him with. Hearing Sal whining below him was the last thing that sent him over the edge. With a few quick and rough snaps of his hips, he was buried deep within Sal and cumming hard with a throaty grunt.

“C’mon baby. Cum. I know you want to.” Q pumped Sal quickly and watched as his back arched off the couch until he shot his load all over his stomach with a whine. Both men were left breathless and satisfied and Q left one last kiss on Sal’s lips. Soft, sweet, and enchanting.

“Now don’t be expecting any presents under the tree from me.” Q jokes to Sal who snickers and playfully hits him on his shoulder.

“You’re the worst.” Another kiss, “I love you… Santa.”

“So are you accepting your new role as Mrs. Claus then?”

“No way in hell will you ever see me in that stupid costume. It was bad enough being Santa.”

“Fine. Fine. I love you too by the way.” A loving smile. “Care to join me for a shower?”

“That sounds lovely.”

[thelarriefics]

HOLIDAY FIC REC, Part III: Below you’ll find even more fics that have to do with the holiday season. (Part I, Part II)

📖 Let Our Hearts Collide by @crinkle-eyed-boo (76k)

When Harry, a lonely transit worker, saves the life of the handsome commuter he's been secretly pining for, an innocent mistake results in Liam Payne's family believing that Harry is engaged to their son. In the Paynes, Harry finds the big family he's always longed for...and a love he never saw coming.

A While You Were Sleeping AU

📖 I Just Want You to Stay by @sadaveniren (36k)

Louis and Harry have been roommates for four years, comfortable in their routine and their relationship. But all of that is about to change.

📖 Give A Little Sing To The Singles by @londonfoginacup (32k)

Harry Styles is an adult now, with a real adult job (and benefits! Whatever those are!). He spends his days at the copier. Copying things.

That being said, no one told Harry that being an adult came with a confusingly chaotic boss, a copier machine that would be hell-bent on ruining his life, and a coworker so good looking that Harry might just have to quit. After all, Christmas is coming and if their office doesn’t win the decorating contest, Louis has threatened to break several laws and kneecaps in retaliation.

Happy Christmas, here’s to many more.

📖 Lovin' you is a gift by @softfonds (25k)

With his 28th birthday approaching, Louis was looking forward to celebrating in New York City with an all-expenses paid trip. He just didn't expect to spend it with an escort when he suddenly finds himself single a few days before it. A Pretty Woman AU.

📖 At last I see the light by @halosboat (25k)

AU in which it takes seven years for Louis to finally love Christmas.

📖 Santa, tell me if he really cares by @sparklebootsandvans (18k)

a Secret Santa AU, in which Harry hates his job and is in love, Christmas is his favourite time of the year and maybe this year Santa has a big surprise in store for him.

📖 An Aurora Grove Christmas by @dandelionfairies (17k)

Harry gets lost on his way to St. Louis. The roads are horrid because of the snow and he ends up spinning into a ditch. Lucky for him, he finds a cabin nearby, as well as a cute blue-eyed man who immediately helps him. Unfortunately, his car is stuck for the night, but at least he has a place to stay with Louis. With the snow continuing to fall and another storm front coming through, will he ever make it out of Aurora Grove? Does he even want to? 

📖 You'll Be Home For Christmas by @2tiedships2 (15k)

“Honesty, Lou, just ask Harry for help.”

Louis remained silent as he continued to scowl at the Christmas calendar Niall had hung on their refrigerator.

“And be nice to my calendar filled with holiday cheer,” Niall instructed. “You’re going to burn a fucking hole in it from the way you’re glaring at the innocent thing. It’s not the calendar’s fault that your heat is starting so close to Christmas.”

📖 Brighten My Northern Sky by @harrieberrie (10k)

Ser·en·dip·i·ty

the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way

or

Harry, Louis, a phone number and fate.

📖 Bigger Ain't Always Better! by @chloehl10 (10k)

Harry buys Louis a rather naughty birthday present, and they eagerly hurry back to Harry's flat, eager to try it out. Neither of them expect what happens next.... 

📖 if we can make it through december by @march-z5 (9k)

Louis runs into his ex at a holiday party, who talks loudly about Louis being single to embarrass him. Harry saves the day by kissing Louis’s cheek and pretending to be his significant other even though Louis has never met him before... has he?

📖 Meet Me Underneath The Mistletoe by @evilovesyou (8k)

Louis flies out to Chicago for business just before Christmas... His flight home is cancelled because of a snow storm and he ends up going to his colleague Niall's Christmas party where he meets the most gorgeous man he's ever seen. And if they end up under the mistletoe within less than an hour then that's nobody's business but theirs.

📖 All Hearts Come Home For Christmas by @beanno28 (8k)

Harry told his new boyfriend, Louis, that he wanted to bring him home for Christmas with his family, assuming that he would have come out to his family by the time the holidays rolled around. It's now the day they're meant to leave and he still hasn't told anyone in his family he has a boyfriend. He decides to just show up at his Mom's house Christmas Eve with Louis and hope for the best.

📖 The Gingerbread Show Off by @homosociallyyours (6k)

The Gingerbread Show Off is the biggest event of the year at Harry's still sort of new to him job, and when he's given a spot to compete in it he's beyond excited. When he realizes that he's going to be paired up with Louis, the man who's been sneakily stealing his ideas since almost their first day of working together, he's understandably frustrated.

He still wants to win, though, and he's not going to let his office enemy bring him down.

📖 words are futile devices by @leedsau (5k)

Harry and Louis are best friends. But of course, they're closer than most.

A Christmas au of sorts.

📖 Snowdrops and Mice Pops by @ohharold (3k)

The boys are stuck at Hogwarts over Christmas incapable of taking the Hogwarts Express back to London. A botched together friends Christmas would have to do.

📖 Down From the North by @chelsea-frew (3k)

Single father Louis is anxious to introduce his boyfriend Harry to his small daughter now that their relationship has grown serious and Christmas is on the way. Little does he know that his daughter has already met his boyfriend....