#i was burnt out while drawing this but u see it was Valentine’s Day so I had to sprawl something out

[peachfruitcake]

something to remember

[chocochar]

Um, Valentine’s for Dabi? You don’t have to!!! Maybe his crush or s/o doesn’t have a good memory of vday and he tries his luck? Thank u!!!! I’m dying for fluff!!!!

(AN: I hope you like it! This one was fun to write~ ouo )

        "Hey, (nickname), what's the matter with you lately?" Dabi asks sitting beside his fellow teammate against a wall and glancing at them. Their knees are pulled up to their chest, chin resting on it while they stare at their phone mindlessly. Normally Dabi isn't one to care how others are doing or feeling, he's only here for what he's after, after all; (F/n) is different, somehow they wiggled into his cold heart and lit a fire inside... As cheesy as that sounds. 

        When they don't respond he sighs, rubbing his neck. They're down about something, it's... Valentine's day, right? 

        "What? Don't have a Valentine's date or something?" He asks almost teasingly, trying in his own way to cheer them up. Nothing, in fact they look like they flinched the moment he made mention of the (silly) holiday. He cocks a brow and asks,"You don't like Valentine's day?"

        He gets a reaction, even if it's just them shaking their head and burying their face in their knees. Normally they aren't so down, in fact even if he has a liking to them he has told them to quiet down at times when they get too upbeat or the like. It's bothering him, a lot more than he's letting on, and taking their phone they look up surprised and reach for it.

        "Dabi, give it back!" they plead, the scarred man holding it out of their grasp which has them nearly falling into his lap. They blush lightly at how close the two are.

        "Tell me what's wrong, maybe I will," he nonchalantly tells them, his aloof gaze hard to read as always. They furrow their brows, pulling back and sighing. Their gaze averts with their face luckily cooling but they clearly don't want to admit to the villain why today has them so upset. But, then again, maybe venting to him won't hurt. Dabi is surprisingly a good listener... If he likes you. (F/n) is one of the only ones by chance to gain his good graces.

        "Okay, well, only cause it's you," they start, scratching their cheek. "... It's not I don't like this day, in fact I enjoyed it before I became who I am today, but... Well, the last one I could celebrate normally... I was dating this guy, we'd been together for months by that point, but I, um... I happened to catch him, cheating, they were in our apartment and I walked in and..." Their face scrunches a bit, the image still fresh given it was only about a year ago. The pain is still there, and the man can see it on their face.

        He gives them their phone back, rubbing his neck as he tries to find a response. 

        "That's some shitty luck," he mumbles, his cerulean orbs landing on the sad villain; the wounds are fresh, he knows how that is, and sighing loudly and frustratedly he stands. He gives no warning as he pulls them to their feet and starts tugging them out of the hideout. They're visibly confused, as are any teammates they pass.

        "Dabi, what're you-"

        He lets them go and faces them, only saying,"Go put on a disguise, meet me outside in the alley next to building."

        With that he leaves to presumably put on his own, (F/n) standing there confused. Hearing a giggle and feeling a poke they jump looking at Toga with Twice behind her, both holding their hands over their mouths with excited expressions.

        "Dabi's takin' you out on a daaate~" Toga practically chirps, Twice adding,"Make sure to look nice! Something sexy!" (F/n) cheeks light up and they are even more lost. This can't be it right? Dabi taking them on a date? That's crazy!... Right?

[X][X][X]

        In the disguise (F/n) does as told and heads out, finding the ravenette leaning against the brick wall of their hideout wearing a hoodie pulled up, a mask, and sunglasses as well as stuffing his hands into the hood pocket. He stands straight and faces them, Toga's words still ringing in the villain's head. 'It's definitely not a date, definitely not!! Dabi isn't that type of guy, we'll probably just go get a drink or two and that's it.'

        "So, why'd you pull me out here?" The (brunette, blonde, etc) looks around, noting the sun is setting so it's getting darker and darker with every minute that ticks by. Which will make their disguises that much more useful.

        "Are you hungry?" He asks, (F/n) shrugging.

        "Kind of," they respond. 

        "C'mon, where do you want to eat?" he asks, the other villain still so confused.

        "Wait, we can't just go buy food, disguised or not we could still get caught," they try to talk some sense into him, which seems to kind of work as he goes silent. Looking around the ravenette hums, noting a stand selling crepes for this special day. Gesturing to it he asks,"What about that? You like sweets right?" (F/n) looks to see what he's talking about, slowly nodding.

        "Sure, crepes are really good, but Dabi, why are we-"

        They're cut off when their teammate suddenly starts approaching the stand, the (brunette, blonde, etc) quick to chase him. How does he walk so fast?? When they reach the stand Dabi asks,"What do you want? I'm not looking to get one so just tell the guy and I'll pay."

        "But why-"

        The look they can see behind his sunglasses makes them close their mouth and look at the man in charge of the stand, who looks slightly suspicious but he says nothing. Looking over the menu, (F/n) immediately sees what they'd really like, and telling the man he gets to work. 

        The streets are bustling with couples and teenagers going out, (F/n) eating their crepe quietly while the fiery villain beside them stays completely silent. They glance at him and catch him looking away, cocking their own brow while glancing at the food in hand. Holding it up to him they ask,"Want some?"

        He shakes his head, saying,"No, don't like sweets." Silence falls again, and (F/n) wishes he'd just break it and tell them why they're out here.

        "Da- I mean... Why did you bring me out?"

        "What do you mean?"

        "Like what is the purpose? First you seemed kinda worried about me earlier, then once I told you you brought me out. Hell even Toga and Twice were under the assumption you were planning this as a date or something. I mean, obviously they're nuts, but I really want to know why were out walking around, why you got me this, and where we're going."

        "... Is it that weird to go on a date with me?" He asks after a few moments of no response.

        "Well, no, but I..." they go quiet, realizing what he'd asked. Stopping they look up at him surprised, Dabi now staring at them and even being unable to see his eyes they can feel his intense gaze. They're shocked, so this is a date?? But... "Why? If this is a date, why me?"

        "Why ask?"

        "Cause it's you, you are pretty open about how you feel about people, for the most part," they retort, tilting their head. Then a thought comes to mind. "Are you saying... You like me?"

        He doesn't say anything, shrugging and rubbing his neck. But his vocal response makes them blush,"... And if I do? You're the only one I can stand in our team most of the time, plus... Somehow you managed to always be on my mind, so I guess I do." 

        (F/n) blinks taken back, speechless with no clue what to say. Swallowing they lower their head, their face heating up. It's no secret they've had a small crush on the fire quirk user, but given their situation as well as who he is, they did their very best to keep it from coming to light. But now... Now they can't. Lifting their head ready to hug him or kiss him or something the other villain freezes when lips meet theirs; his lower lip is scarred and rough, but the kiss is deep and in some way passionate. He's not a bad kisser, by any means, and as he pulls back (F/n) pulls him right back in before he can pull his mask back up, gripping his hoodie front and pressing their lips back together. With closed eyes the two deepen the lip lock, Dabi pressing them against a nearby wall and (F/n) paying no mind to the crepe on the sidewalk. With one arm around his neck and the other brushing through his raven locks the bigger man's arms loop around them pulling them close to him; the kiss becomes heated, their tongues brushing while their mouths move in a perfect sync.

        It only lasts a few minutes surprisingly, but as they pull away (F/n) pecks his lips one more time, smiling and lifting his glasses to meet his gaze.

        "Why don't we finish our date?~"

        Letting each other go they fix their disguises before going off to find something to do, his hand finding theirs and the two grasping the other's tightly.

[X][X][X]

        The date surprisingly goes off without a hitch; the two visit a small festival and get masks, they go get some drinks, and soon enough they're sitting on the roof of their hideout. Laying down they stare up at the sky, sunglasses and masks off with Dabi's arm under (F/n)'s head. 

        It's pretty quiet, the only sound being (F/n) finding a shape in the vast amount of twinkling lights in the sky and pointing them out.

        "That doesn't look like a cat to me," Dabi comments, (F/n) shaking their head and using their finger to 'draw' the outline.

        "No, no, you're just not seeing it! See, there's the tail, there's it's ears, the eyes-"

        "And you're a nerd," he interrupts teasingly, his date looking up at him with fake shock and gasping.

        "How rude! Well, you're..."

        He watches them expectantly, waiting for their best insult.

        "... A burnt piece of bacon."

        He actually scoffs, replying,"That the best you got? That was weak."

        "Well I'm sorry, you're just soooo handsome I couldn't think of a good one, but I'll keep trying," they sigh, smiling at him before leaning up and kissing his scarred cheek. He actually shows a shadow of a grin, turning his head just as they go for it so their lips meet, (F/n) freezing a moment before pressing into it.

        Things start to get heated again, when they immediately stop and look to the left where they hear footsteps running off, and Twice saying,"Run Toga! We got the picture! We're gonna die! Dabi's gonna kill us!"

        They both share the same glance before Dabi sighs, mumbling,"Idiots..." He pulls (F/n) close again though, rolling them over so he's on top and kisses them again, (F/n) planning to have them send them that picture in private before Dabi makes them delete it, but first enjoying the sweet kiss their date gives them as they spend almost the rest of the night on the roof.

(AN: I hope this was okay! It was fun to write. Hope you liked it!)

[lbibliophile-mcu]

Tony Stark Bingo 2019 Masterpost

Masterpost for the @tonystarkbingo

I got a blackout!

And far more fills and fill types than I expected when I started, including trying several new art methods (ie. drawing with tongs - DUM-E’s Drawings).

Overall I did (some fills with two types):

Fanfic - 8

Drabble - 4

Poem - 5

Art /craft - 7

Gifset - 2

Picset - 5  (moodboards and screenshot collections)

Links and details for each of the fills are below the cut.

Thankyou to the organisers/mods for encouraging and spreading so much great content!

Babysitting

S1 - WTF Link/s: AO3 Tumblr Fill type: Fanfic [500 words] Characters: Obadiah Stane x Tony Stark Tags: Pre-IM1, young Tony Stark, pillow fort, Obadiah Stane’s B+ parenting Summary Obadiah looks at the construction before him and suppresses a sigh. Apparently, it’s going to be one of those days. Carefully ensuring his jocular ‘Uncle Obie’ tone is in place, he approaches.“Hey, Tony, how ya doing in there?”

Everything and Nothing

T1 - Jealousy Link/s: Tumblr Fill type: Fanfic - drabble Characters: Tony Stark Tags: Public image, retirement Summary: People think Tony Stark has everything. But their ‘everything’ isn’t what he wants.

Arm Catalogue

A1 - Shopping together Link/s: Tumblr Fill type: Image edit for Veto Power Characters: Bucky Barnes x Tony Stark Tags: Bucky Barnes’ metal arm Summary: Tony is maky Bucky a new arm, and has so many ideas for the paintjob. A pity Bucky doesn’t like any of them.

Understanding

R1 - Cannon: MCU (Pre-CA:CW) Link/s: Tumblr Fill type: Gifset Characters: Pepper Potts / Tony Stark Tags: Iron Man 3, PTSD Summary: She tries, but she doesn’t understand what it’s like. And that’s good. Because if she understood - truly understood - that would make her as broken as I am.

TON-E’s Valentine [DUM-E’s Drawings]

K1 - Arc Reactor Link/s: AO3 Tumblr Fill type: Art  Characters: DUM-E x Tony Stark Tags: Tony Stark has a heart, method drawing Summary: DUM-E was learning about Valentines day. He knew that you gave a card to someone you care about. He knew that it was supposed to show a heart. So that’s what he drew.

Aftermath

S2 - Writing format: Unreliable narrator Link/s: AO3 Tumblr Fill type: Poem and moodboard Tags: Avengers (2012), collateral damage, outside POV Summary: When real life superheroes saved New York, it was like a something out of a story. But then the cleanup began. And continued, and continued... New York, Greenwich, Sokovia, Lagos. Suddenly, superheros are a lot less exciting. Rubble all looks the same, whether it was made by the heroes or the villains.

RUI (Rescued Under the Influence)

T2 - Confessions under the influence Link/s: AO3 Fill type: Fanfic [1300 words] Characters: Bucky Barnes / Tony Stark Tags: First meeting, rescue, non-consensual drug use, drugged confessions Summary: When Bucky entered the base, he expected to find Hydra agents (to be destroyed) and computer files (to be copied if useful, then also destroyed). He was not prepared to find a drugged Tony Stark. Nor was he prepared for Stark's reaction to seeing him. How does he deal with someone being excited to meet him?

Lab-yrinth

A2 - Labyrinth Link/s: Tumblr Fill type: Art / Puzzle Characters: DUM-E Tags: Maze, Tony’s workshop Summary: Help DUM-E find way through the lab to get TON-E a smoothie.

Avalanche

R2 - Sharing body heat Link/s: AO3  Fill type: Fanfic [1600 words] Characters: Steve Rogers x Tony Stark Tags: Steve Rogers needs a hug, nightmares, touch-starved Summary: Sometimes, all it takes is little things. A minor annoyance that leads to another and another and another. Until it all comes crashing down and you are helpless to stop it or escape.Waking up in a new century was hard, but Steve thought he was coping. (He wasn’t.)

Befriending a Cat

K2 - Cat!Tony Link/s: AO3 Tumblr Fill type: Fanfic - drabble sequence  [600 words] Characters: OG6 Avengers team x Tony Stark Tags: 5+1 format, Domestic Avengers, metaphorical cat Summary: Befriending Tony Stark, the Avengers decide, is rather like befriending a cat.

He loves me, he loves me not...

S3 - image [’Proof Tony Stark has a heart’ plaque] Link/s: Tumblr Fill type: Art Characters: Pepper Potts / Tony Stark Tags: IM1, pining, arc reactor Summary: Pepper Potts knew she was falling in love with her boss, and tried to find subtle ways to show it. What she didn’t know, was if he liked her back…

Flashbacks

T3 - Sickfic Link/s:  Tumblr Fill type: Poem and moodboard/image edit Characters: Tony Stark Tags: PTSD, mentions of torture and near-death Summary: PTSD flashbacks are never fun, and now his brain has a whole selection of scenes to choose from…

Iron Man themed braid

A3 - Free Link/s: Tumblr Fill type: Craft Tags: Iron Man theme, weaving Summary: Tablet woven braid made with crochet cotton. Iron Man colours with pale blue triangular ‘arc reactors’.

Shoot for the Moon

R3 - Galaxy Link/s: Tumblr Fill type: Image edit / gifset Characters: Tony Stark Tags: Quote, story arc Summary: “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars “

DUM-E’s list of what not to put in a smoothie  [DUM-E’s Drawings]

K3 - Historical Link/s: AO3 Tumblr Fill type: Art Characters: DUM-E Tags: DUM-E at MIT, method drawing Summary: It took a while for DUM-E to get the hang of the whole making (edible) smoothies, so he left himself notes as a reminder.

Honestly, Pepper

S4 - Writing format: Non-linear Link/s: AO3 Tumblr Fill type: Fanfic [960 words] Characters: Pepper Potts x Tony Stark, Avengers team  Tags: Dialogue only, non-linear narrative, domestic Avengers, disaster Avengers, crack Summary: Pepper Potts, CEO and sometimes superhero-wrangler, walks out of the elevator onto the Avengers Tower common-floor and stops in shock. How is this even her life? And why is she not surprised?

Cuddle Pile (Whose limbs are these?)

T4 - Puzzle Link/s: AO3 Tumblr Fill type: Poem and moodboard Characters: OG6 Avengers team (including Pepper Potts and Bucky Barnes) Tags: Avengers family, romantic/platonic OT8, song parody Summary: After a hard day/night/fight, nothing is better than curling up in a pile with all your friends… at least, until someone has to get up

Hey, Remember Me?

A4 - Amnesia Link/s: AO3 Tumblr Fill type: Fanfic [560 words] Characters: Scott Lang x Avengers team Tags: Based on the Endgame teaser trailers, time travel, post-Snap, amnesia, open ending Summary: The Snap didn’t just kill half of all life, it erased it from existence; first the physical form, then their more intangible presence. For those who remain, it’s hard to maintain the drive to fix things when you don’t remember what you’re missing…

TON-E’s Hero [DUM-E’s Drawings]

R4 - Tony in workshop Link/s: AO3 Tumblr Fill type: Art Characters: Dum-E x Tony Stark Tags: Tony’s workshop, DUM-E’s fire extinguisher, lab safety, method drawing Summary: TON-E is not very good at remembering about lab safety. That is why DUM-E has to be ready to protect him!

Curse of a Superhero

K4 - Clint Barton / Hawkeye Link/s: Tumblr Fill type: Fanfic - drabble Characters: Clint Barton x Tony Stark Tags: Family, angst Summary: Sometimes Tony wonders how Clint did it; managed to be both a father and an Avenger, balance duty to his family with duty to the world.

No Shit, There I Was, Undercover at a Gay Bar...

S5 - Undercover in a gay bar Link/s: AO3 Tumblr Fill type: Fanfic [1200 words] Characters: Clint Barton / Tony Stark Tags: Pre-slash, identity porn, undercover as gay Summary: No shit there I was, undercover in a gay bar... and you'll never guess who I ran into and how.

Legacy

T5 - Confessions in desperate situations Link/s: AO3 Tumblr Fill type: Poem and moodboard Characters: Pepper Potts / Tony Stark, James Rhodes x Tony Stark Tags: palladium poisoning Summary: Tony is dying. It's an inescapable fact; the clock ticking down with every burnt-out reactor core. He tries to tell them, but the words won't come. He can only give them pieces of his legacy, and hope they forgive him.

I Came Out to Have a Good Time...

A5 - image [bruised Tony in the F1 racing suit] Link/s: Tumblr Fill type: Gifset Characters: Vanko x Tony Stark Tags: Iron Man 2, Monaco race, car crash Summary: Tony is Done with villains interrupting his days off.

Status Report

R5 - Last chance Link/s: AO3 Tumblr Fill type: Fanfic [1300 words] Characters: JARVIS x Tony Stark, OG6 Avengers team Tags: Dialogue-only, Major character death, heavy angst, self-sacrifice, AVALON protocol Summary: Iron Man is a superhero, but Tony Stark is only human. And sometimes, what is asked of a superhero is more than a human can give. So Tony makes contingency plans. He makes the AVALON protocol. He makes sure that Iron Man is able to help the Avengers even when human Tony Stark… can’t.

Faith, Against all Logic

K5 - Robots Link/s: Tumblr Fill type: Poem - drabble Characters: FRIDAY x DUM-E x U, Tony Stark Tags: Post-IW, bot feels Summary: Tony is lost in space, and Friday doesn’t know what to do. Her big brothers give her some advice.

[translightyagami]

Otp questions for Matsuda/Light?

dflkjskaljf;ldfsakj ALL OF THEM????? aight dude.

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?

i don’t think either of them spends a lot of money on each other. their relationship isn’t rlly....over the table. but i think matsuda gets light presents sometimes like that sashmi phone charm or fun socks. he definitely DEFINITELY gets light something on valentines day bc he sort of hopes light will do the same but uh light has to go on his lunch break to the nearest convience store and buy some shitty chocolates bc he doesn’t want matsuda to know he forgot. except matsuda like knows, he’s just too nice and a little too into light to say anything.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?

matsuda will lay his head on light’s lap while light is doing paper work. its late on a tuesday when they hv light’s apartment to themselves which almost nvr happens and he’s running his hand thru matsuda’s hair. its almost like they’re a real couple. it’s almost like light cares.

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?

they r both way too conservative abt their bodies to walk around half naked anywhere but if matsuda spills something on his shirt he’s not gonna soak in that cold coffee. he’ll strip that shirt off and use light’s washing machine and then chill in the kitchen. light yells at him, which scares the shit out of matsuda bc light almost nvr yells at ppl if he can help it, and tells him that misa is going to b home in like an hour so he can’t b waltzing around w no shirt on. then he stops, sees matsuda’s wide eyes and his anger slinks back into it’s cage so he offers to blow him as an apology.

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?

matsuda is always getting on light for staying up too late. “you’re giving kira too much of your time!” he says and light just gets this ugly look on his face like he’s halfway to a laugh but also abt to melt. “how else can we bring him to justice,” he says, “if we aren’t giving up some parts of our comfort?” that shuts matsuda up.

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?

god they both suck so hard at cooking. matsuda tries to make them like romantic meals and light lets him bc he loves it when ppl do things for him ever at all. all the meals end up burnt and light tells matsuda he doesn’t mind but he rlly rlly does bc then he has to explain to misa why their apartment smells like burned chicken. they order takeout or go somewhere to eat and its rlly uncomfortable for the rest of the night.

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?

oh for sure matsuda sees those, like, couples memes and wants desperately to send them to light and b like “ha that’s us” but he’s not sure if they count as a couple since light makes him leave immeadiately after they fuck. so instead he just sort of casually will announce that this meme makes him think of someone and light doesn’t look up from his work like “what’s a meme?”

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?

god they r like different sizes but sometimes, if light is weak and lets matsuda convince him to go to his place, light borrows a shirt from matsuda that’s too big on his all flat angles body. it hangs on him and it kind of....turns matsuda on a little?? they’re all his old college track shirts. light always returns them promptly the next day, washed and folded in a plastic bag.

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?”

light likes to send matsuda on errands bc he knows he can and also he hates hving to do small tasks so he’ll like send him to get lunch and then when he gets back will get huffy if he forgets to bring like...enough napkins.

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?

it’s canonical in my headcanon that light is a very bad driver and matsuda actually had to help him learn so matsuda drives them most of the time. light gives surprisingly good directions for what a shit driver he is, mostly bc he has a good memory and spent a lot of time using the subway so he knows his streets. get him out in the country tho and he’s like “uhhhh turn left?? maybe right??? lets use the gps.”

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws?

light poses and matsuda draws a shitty stick figure w a tie on. light must stiffle the urge to rip it up and it’s the greatest feat of strength he’s ever managed.

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?

uhhuhuhuuhhh shit man i literally hv no idea with this one!!! neither of them can do a backflip but matsuda is convinced that if given the chance, he could do one and then light and he hv that charlie and mac argument of “u can’t do a backflip” “i do a backflip every day of my life!!”

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking?

literally. neither of them stops the other one. light doesn’t drink a lot but matsuda will take him out clubbing which means light gets drunk off two cocktails and half of matsuda’s rum n’ coke. he dances to ariana grande and pulls matsuda on the floor and matsuda is so flattered by the attention that he lets light get drunker until he’s swaying and they hv to take a cab back to his apartment bc he can barely stand.

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?

i think i said in the first question, but matsuda often leaves light little gifts.

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own?

dslkfjla;skdfj;aslkfj;slfa matsuda sometimes puts yagami as his last name but that’s only bc he spends so much time w that family. he’d b so pleased to marry into it honestly. its a secret dream of his to propose to light and for light to accept and it keeps him warm on nights when light won’t return his calls.

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?

neither of them take the spider outside but matsuda will just smack it w his shoe. light gets the bug spray and watches the spider die, slowly and painfully. he only ever does this when no one else is around but god, it’s a little thrill to take the edge off.

16: Which one gives the other their jacket?

matsuda forgets his jacket A Lot and so light will offer his as a token of affection (or at least as much a token as light can manage). it nvr fits but the same song and dance happens every time. matsuda wishes that light would forget his jacket once so it would b the other way around but uhhhh mr. five hundred plans at once has nvr been unprepared for bad weather. except once on a certain rooftop but like who’s keeping score?

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?

their relationship is secret so nobody. but if sayu knew, she’d hv a word or two for matsuda abt dating her wonderful brother who deserves the best boyfriend life has to offer.

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?

hmm. this one is......tough. neither of them every say anything but matsuda almost does. it takes a while. it takes several times of matsuda getting up to put on his shoes and looking over his shoulder, asking if light’s sure he wants to be alone. its a lot of him “dropping by” when he knows misa isn’t home but light didn’t ask him to come over and just watching tv together. he’s like a frog in water slowly boiling until he realizes the water is too hot and he’s burning with some kinda something for light. so he works up a little courage and a little stupidity and one night, after sex, he rolls over and asks light what they are. light blinks and smiles. “we’re friends,” he says and matsuda’s heart is a brick sinking into his stomach. “oh,” he says. “okay.” he doesn’t bring it up again.

a week later, light calls one of their outings a date and the brick starts to lift.

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?

Oh They’d B Such Shit.

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?

is this.....are you trying to ask me who does 1337 speak? okay okay. u would b surprised but i think light uses a lot of text chat when he messages ppl he’s closer to. if its like a work message, its all business but if it’s like a booty call to matsuda its like “hey wyd?” matsuda texts in such.....text code....u would hv to hv one of those “what is ur teen saying” guides next to u to understand. light can’t keep up. the only time matsuda texts with perfect grammar is when he’s sexting and honestly? that is half of what drives light wild.

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?

here’s the facts: light likes matsuda but if he saw him getting bullied or anything and protecting him meant bringing himself to literally any harm? he’d turn right around and go in a different direction. matsuda defends light constantly whenever someone says something abt him being kira. anyone got anything to say abt light yagami? matsuda is on ‘em at the drop of a hat.

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?

god matsuda makes so many puns. he’s out of control. every time he opens his mouth its light’s worst nightmare which is nice humor and fun. he’ll grit his teeth and smile but inside he’s in special dead hell which is for ppl hearing bad jokes. BUT there’s one time where light is doing something and doesn’t catch himself b4 just out loud making a pun and the grin on matsuda’s? could’ve lit up an entire stadium.

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?

if matsuda ever brought a puppy into light’s home, he’d b out on his ass in a minute. his dick game isn’t that strong.

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?

matsuda is actually a little stronger than light, he’s like short-ish but built and frequently has to carry light home from clubs bc he can’t handle his alcohol. when he does carry him, light gets v handsy and matsuda has to like try and calm him down which is hard bc matsuda is drunk too? uhuhuh here’s something: one time when matsuda was carrying light home, light kept up this stream of conversation abt nothing and then started to make this weird, choked crying noise and matsuda was like whats wrong and light just kept saying “he’s dead” all gargled n shit. matsuda got him home and everything and light offered to hv sex with him but there was something so dead eyed abt him that matsuda was like “uhhhh i’ll just go home.” and light looked v small and matsuda knew he should probably stay, that light would b sick soon and probably vomit and he should definitely stay but he leaves anyway. he thinks abt that a lot after he shoots light. abt the way he lay there like a corpse, like he died six years ago and was haunting himself.

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?

every once in a while light will do some intramural sports like soccer just to keep up his physique (he’s one of those ppl that like sports over like gym time) and matsuda always goes w misa under the pretense of their friendship. secretly tho he’s checking out light’s legs in shorts. light has v defined thighs.

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder?

matsuda takes eight selfies every rare occasion light sleeps on him and uses the kitty ear filter on them. he only sends the snapchat to his mom, who is the only person that knows abt him and light, and keeps the photo saved on his phone. light nvr finds out abt them. matsuda’s mom snapchats him back a thumbs up.

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?

light would definitely give matsuda pointers and he actually does it, unsolicited, pretty often. if he could get a crack at matsuda’s waredrobe? god. the amount of macy’s casual wear he would shove in there. he hates matsuda’s day off clothes. worn jeans??? no thanks!!!

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?

matsuda has a lizard named suds and light is not terrified of it, okay??? he just doesn’t like how it feels when it touches his skin and also how its eyes look and also he’s maybe a little scared of it so whatever

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?

light insists on holding the umbrella bc he’s taller and likes the control but if he’s super busy and speedwalking he lets matsuda do it. also bc he likes flexing his ability to make ppl do things and it makes him feel royal to hv someone else hold his umbrella.

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures?

well, they’d literally nvr go on vacation bc they r not in that kind of relationship BUT if they did, they’d probably just go out to the country to a bed n breakfast in the gayest fashion possible. light would use the time to read some books he bought but nvr got around to reading. matsuda attempts to write a science fiction story which he is too embarassed to show light. light hacks his computer when he’s asleep so he can read it and finds out that the love interest is just a thinly veiled version of himself so he shuts the computer and crawls in bed, blushing bc he’s flattered and bc there were a lot of alien sex scenes w his character.

matsuda takes several phone pics of light falling asleep in the car on the way to the bed n breakfast and is sorely tempted to save one as his phone background. he doesn’t but he does keep one of those pictures even after light dies. it reminds him that light was human. that somewhere there was a person in there, that he didn’t sleep with a monster.

[nehslebasi]

2016, in pictures and text

This is going to be a very long post. A very very long post. A very very very long post. 

I’m thankful this year happened. All the tears, laughs, travels, anxiety, everything. Hoping 2016 will shape me (positively) into who I’m meant to become in the future - 2017 and beyond.

January 2016

I honestly don’t remember anything I did this month lol. I was still consistently running. Outings with Crew. Outings with my (then) 8th grade girls. Visited Lighthouse in Torrance. All I have are good, if not neutral, feelings of this month.

February 2016

Let’s just say it turned out to be the worst month of this year, and I’ll never stop missing her and wondering how different this year would have been if she were still here. So what do you do? Drink it away with your friends on Valentine’s. Go to the beach. Play board games. Go to Zinc cafe and drink Blue Bottle. Pretend you’re fine until you’re fine.

March 2016

Clara’s birthday at Bestia, where we ran into one of our Sunday school kids, asked if we wanted to take shots through lamb bone marrow lol. The setting sun and deepening pink sky behind the LA skyline as we coasted by on the freeway. Driving down to Playa Del Rey and squeezing through their narrow lanes to an ADX alumni reunion by the beach. Jack Garratt concert with Jacky, losing myself in sound. A day of exhilaration and pressuring my friends to ride roller coasters at Knott’s, and pretty much failing at that haha. 

April 2016

Coffee dates/study parties at Arts District. OC sushi and sake, where our waiter gave us complimentary sake and ice cream! Weekly Sunday lunches in Pasadena, always wearing a summery dress, always getting acai bowls. Multiple beach trips. Brunch at Perch with APR. Noah Gundersen at Hotel Cafe, where he answered a question I asked! Visited my sister’s work at Scripps even though I was dead-ass sick. And probably the #1 favorite concert I’ve ever been to, FOREVER, so much that I’m going to find them again every time they’re near me. Hullo Shadowboxers, hullo Hotel Cafe.

May 2016

Ran a half-marathon! (And couldn’t walk for days afterward) Turned 23. Treated to brunch at Republique and gifted a beautiful stick-figure drawing of us. Took a million jumping pictures by a fabric warehouse. Caught strep throat and a disgusting case of conjunctivitis. Election anxiety kicking in. Started taking this “applying to PA school” thing seriously. 

June 2016

Took a break from running (read: got lazy). Upset that the Cavaliers won. In the library or coffee shop every weekend to work on PA school apps and write my personal statement. (Shout out to Bean Town, Nest Teahouse). A Koreatown night market, lots of smoke, lots of food, lots of red lipstick. Drove to San Diego for a large-scale sleepover/reunion (and screenshotted the pictures lol)! Oscar’s fish tacos, a rooftop bar, a Werewolf bar, more ramen and pork belly than we could stomach... 

July 2017

One of my favorite, if not most stressful, months of 2016. Submitted my completed grad school application. Sushi and drinks with Angie in Pasadena. Sparklers and pyro activities at Jacky’s on the fourth. Roller-bladed by the sea with Bri from Santa Monica down to Venice, drank our way into a happy sunset buzz at a rooftop bar by the Pier, and rode the warm smooth buzz all the way back to USC on the Expo Line. Watched HP 1 with a live orchestra playing the score at the Hollywood Bowl. Ice cream and boy-stories in South Pas. Viv’s birthday right in our home turf. Started volunteering at my city’s hospital ER. Relient K released a new album. Started going to community group with Reality LA. Discussing political issues every Sunday with my friends, because I’m surrounding by men and women who care about them. Such a wonderful month :)

August 2016

Pizza and catch-ups at Old Town Pas, spilling about relationships with old friends. Exploring Santa Monica and walking for miles with the Crew in a looooong scavenger hunt that we have yet to complete! Frank Ocean drops his albums and changes my life, again. Oliver Sacks dies and I’m heartbroken. Drove through the winding Palos Verdes for a friend’s birthday. Crush on every young Murse. A wedding in San Diego, feeling regal in a borrowed navy dress and tall heels, a little too much to drink, as per usual haha.

September 2016

Crashed summer retreat at UCSD, ate too many tacos, more Tacos El Gordo, ate too much pho, just too much of everything in general lol. Crossed that rickety bridge. Binge watch Atlanta and Stranger Things. Start prepping for PA school interviews. Fly to New York for an interview at Cornell. Drag my little blue suitcase everywhere with me. It’s pouring rain the first day. Meet with Yenmin to eat Halal Guys, and Jaimie for udon and gelato. Navigating the city at night and running to catch the trains and buses. A couple nights in Jaimie’s beautiful apartment in Manhattan five stories up from the sidewalk, a brisk morning in my mom’s borrowed heels, a vegetable cream cheese bagel and coffee, a stressful interview at an ivy league, bleeding raw feet the whole day till I just had to give up and take them off. Walk through Central Park, the Met, coffee shops wearing Walgreens roll-up flats and business formal for 15+ miles till I can feel my feet bruising and my hair frizzing. Pizza and drinks with Jackie and Joyce in Soho. Little Italy’s night market. Frank Ocean, and a NY Times to and fro from NY--a beautiful city I won’t forget. JR JR/Saint Motel concert with Jess the night I land back in LA. Watched an ER patient get lungs drained, car dies in the hospital parking lot at midnight. Oh Wonder, Kevin Garrett concert with Feebs. Another memorable month :)

October 2016

Lightbulb/Third wheel dates with Clara and Justin begin (ok, unofficially in September, but officially in October)! Get a hit list of things to do in Chicago from ER guy. Fly to Chicago for an interview at Northwestern. Get picked up by Angie and drive toward her apartment in the city, become captivated by the skyline and sky. Eat my first Chicago dog. Absolutely enthralled by her cat Wrigley (and am now a cat person as a result). Venture out to Navy Pier and get caught in the pouring, storming rain. Deep dish at Giordano’s. Coffee and croissant before the interview, become attached to the program, would do ANYTHING to be accepted. Tacos at Del Seoul, some rain, Big Hero Six in pajamas as the wind blows and sun sets. Traverse through The Loop, see the Bean, the river, eat brunch/pancakes/everything, inspired by the running people preparing for the Chicago Marathon, in awe at the peace and clean grandeur of this place. It was difficult to leave. Cried after the second presidential debate because I couldn’t believe what my family was saying. Chop off my hair. Fly to Boston for an interview at MCPHS, immediately struck by the cold and beauty of this old city (and how much I suck at navigating its public transport system). Wrapped up with happiness and love while staying with my big. Walking by the Charles to the trains in the rain, a huge Bartleby’s burger and milkshake, a bookstore by Harvard U. A cloudy morning at a coffee shop with a bomb playlist and apple turnover and chai. Most amiable interview. Museum of Fine Arts, fresh seafood, another bookstore with a cafe in the middle, a long walk back home :). Coffee, the Library, Boston Commons and Boston public Gardens, a cemetery where many founders were buried, Flour bakery (nerded out about Joanne Chang), Quincy Market, Warren Anatomical Museum, JFK Library. I am in love with this city, it was also difficult to leave (plus Logan Airport had the nicest staff). And on the 31st, Hallelujah Night in a onesie.

November 2016

My friend Lynette gets engaged! We’re there to surprise her in the parking lot of the Huntington Gardens, and plan her engagement party. 11/8, the most wonderful and horrible day. I get the call that I was accepted to the school of my dreams. America elects a fool. Fly to New Jersey while listening to The Shins and watching the changing leaves through the airplane window. Stay with a gracious family during the interview at Rutgers and catch up with an old friend over Halal Guys. Kill time by reading Profiles in Courage. Realize that at this point, I’m a little burnt out with interviewing and flying back and forth across the country. Watch USC win the USC-UCLA game! Make my friends watch Stranger Things. Thanksgiving at Vincent’s. Relient K and Switchfoot concert of my DREAMS with drinks and fries before and during. Binge watch Gilmore Girls reboot and argue about who’s better: Jess or what’s-his-name, and how awful Rory and Lorelai are and how awful this reboot was!!

December 2016

Second Shadowboxer’s concert, which becomes my 2nd favorite concert ever, after my 1st favorite, which was also a Shadowboxers concert (I’m obsessed with them can you tell). Coworker shows me how to put on falsies. Dinner and stomachaches and being babysat in Old Town. The Paper Kites with Viv, and way too much food from friendly restaurant staff, and hand-banging fans who scream and clearly love The Paper Kites lol. Once more the Duke of Mediterranean Cafe. Last day volunteering. Jon’s Bday in Pas. A day in Little Tokyo and Arts District with Hannah. Vivian’s first sleepover. La La Land on Christmas Eve, dumplings on Christmas, no day off. Catch up drinks with gov kids. Administer my first Rocephin injection via dorsogluteal IM. Lots of visitors, including Yenmin and Jacky. Spend New Years Eve at Urgent Care, popping meds, and rereading A Swiftly Tilting Planet. :)

And that’s a wrap! This was supposed to be reflective and not a catalog of stuff... but welp that’s what it turned out to be. I’m grateful for surviving another year with inspiring and supportive people and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. Thank you thank you thank you, because you guys make life more interesting and beautiful. :)

Favorite Books: The Wind-up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami, The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro, Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout, Profiles in Courage by JFK

Here’s to a brighter 2017.