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aphverse-confessions · 4 months

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Confessions Masterpost (DRAFT)

Hello!! Please enjoy this carefully curated guide to navigating through these confessions!

First and foremost, if u are here because the confessions annoy you, please be sure to block both this account and the "aphverse confessions" tag just to be extra safe! All confessions include that tag.

I also want to let u guys know that there are a LOT of tags. Like I made this SO hard for myself to keep track of. Please know I try to hit every relevant tag from the list below, but I will 1000% miss a few or more of the relevant tags. The most consistent tags are going to be characters, ships, feels (angies, happies, or sillies), and media tags. Because I remember that all those exists.

Lastly, this is marked as draft because it is missing hyperlinks! I don't feel like grabbing those all rn, but want to post this (finally) so people know what tags mean.

Now, the tag navigations

General Post Content:

Tags that decribe content not under specific character/ship/series tags such as the length or the purpose

NSFW?! - Posts that contain sex, drugs, or other suggestive themes. The question mark is because usually the post is subtle and idk what I'm doing. If someone actually sends me an explicit confession I will probably explode (protip)

Long! - this tag is for any confessions with multiple paragraphs. Entirely up to op (me!) if smth fits my idea of long. We have fun here

Angies - this tag is for all those angry/vent/upset confessions over relatively trivial things

Fandom angies - lots of confessions address the fandom as a whole. This tag is for people complaining abt general issues with the fandom, a subtag of angies

Happies - this tag is for happy/wholesome confessions

Sillies - this tag is for fun and silly confessions

Headcanons - tag for headcanon confessions, I do not do individualized character headcanon tags because I already made myself tag general character, love character, and hate character individual and I do not want to ALSO hc tag characters

Shipfessions - Name borrowed from my sister blog @aphblr-shipfessions (not run by me, only similar premise, hence sister blog like sister location), this includes any tags related to ships

Mys shipfessions, mcd shipfessions, mid shipfessions, and coco shipfessions are the subtags for this (some posts are unclear for what universe and do not receive subtags)

Hate shipfessions is another subtag for this

Series:

Tags grouping confessions by the series they pertain to

Minecraft Diaries (and it's adjacent tags) - for all confessions related to minecraft diaries (VP included)

Mystreet (and it's adjacent tags) - for all confessions related to Mystreet (PDH included)

Phoenix Drop High (and it's adjacent tags) - for all posts related to Phoenix Drop High (FCU included)

My Inner Demons (and it's adjacent tags) - for all confessions related to my inner demons

Side Stories - for all confessions related to the original side stories

Side Quests - for all confessions related to spinoff series of aphmau featuring the mcd/mys cast (ie mermaid tales/royale tales)

That one fucking series - for all confessions related to that one fucking series (aka small quickly abandoned series by aph not related to mcd/mys)

Cocomau - for all confessions related to current Aphmau videos (post 2020)

Nonaphmau media - Many people have used this blog for reach in finding old fics/accs/comics/etc, or confessing to consuming some fucked up Aphmau related media. This tag is for them. This tag also includes references to specific tumblr blogs/users

Media finding - specifically tackles the former use of this

Character Tags:

I try not to maintag characters if any hate is included, so I have devised my own tagging system for characters for u littler haters wanting to scroll through ur least fav characters confessions. I know tumblr’s tagging is generally fucked tho and “[character] tag” may appear in the “[character]” tag. Please block “[character] hate” or “[character] love” for preference.

Also worth noting for convenience I have grouped all divine warriors under the same tag (Shad and Irene do have individuals) and have included the Jesson tag here in the character category.

If ur looking for mcd or mystreet specifically for a character, ur out of luck sorry I am not tagging that. Maybe harass me and I'll think abt it

A-Z (If alphabetized wrong, no it isn't)

-Op spells it LaurAnce and Sylvanna (correct me if double n is canonically incorrect) please notice this in both character and ship tags

-Nana is used to refer to the infamous "Kawaii~Chan" this includes ship names

Aaron Tag (hate or love)

Aphmau Tag (hate or love)

Blaze Tag (hate or love)

Brendan Tag (hate or love)

Dante Tag (hate or love)

Divine Warriors Tag (hate or love)

Donna Tag (hate or love)

Ein Tag (hate or love)

Elizabeth Tag (hate or love)

Emmalyn Tag (hate or love)

Eric Tag (hate or love)

Garroth Tag (hate or love)

Gene Tag (hate or love)

Irene Tag (hate or love)

Ivan Tag (hate or love)

Jesson Tag (hate or love)

Kai Tag (hate or love)

Kenmur Tag (hate or love)

Kiki Tag (hate or love)

Kim Tag (hate or love)

Liochant (hate or love)

Lo Tag (hate or love)

Melissa Tag (hate or love)

Modzilla Tag (hate or love)

Nana Tag (hate or love)

Laurance Tag (hate or love)

Logan Tag (hate or love)

Shad Tag (hate or love)

Sylvanna Tag (hate or love)

Teony Tag (hate or love)

Vylad Tag (hate or love)

Zane Tag (hate or love)

Zenix Tag (hate or love)

Zoey Tag (hate or love)

*character tag is used for ship posts but the love tag for that character is not usually used as the characters are not usually being discussed by themselves in those posts. Please know that to see ships with a character u will have to scroll through the general character tag. Please block the character hate tag if hate for ur favs bothers u (ships popular enough to have a name will be tagged as that ship)

**also not all characters have a hate/love tag, I just like consistency, please feel free to send hate/love to balance out my tagging system

Ship Tags:

The ships lucky enough to get the great honor of recognition by op (me!), for all ship related confessions please see shipfessions tag

A-Z

Aarmau tag (hate or love)

Dana tag (hate or love)

Garmau tag (hate or love)

Garrance tag (hate or love)

Laurmau tag (hate or love)

Vylenix tag (hate or love)

X Confessor tag (hate or love)

Zana tag (hate or love)

Zanvis tag (hate or love)

Miscellaneous Tags:

Op (me!) is feeling silly and making life harder for themselves

❤️‍🔥 - Tag for the Valentine's special, a bunch of ship/Valentine's related confessions

- Confessions op (me!) Thinks are important!!

🤭 - Confessions op (me!) Left some silly little tags on

😳 - Confessions sent off anon!

My confessions - Original posts from op (me!)

🩷 - Posts about op (me!)

😵‍💫 - The old Aarmau countdown posts! An era may she rest in peace

*emojis picked based off op's (me!) commonly used emojis because I don't want random emojis in my frequent list

Op (me!) Is only one person. I will tag things wrong. Please politely leave an ask or comment if smth is missing a tag or has an incorrect tag.

This is a lot also like Jesus there is no way u read that entire thing! But I had to write it and then retroactively add ALL of those tags to posts I had already made! So please be nice to op (me!), I love u guys and am doing my best!

#aphmau confessions #aphmau

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grapenehifics · 11 months

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20 Question Fic Writer Tag

Hell yeah I'll play. Thanks @palfriendpatine66 :D

How many works do you have on ao3?

AO3 says ten, but one of those is a series continuation of another one, so I count it as nine...although tomorrow that will go up by one, after the reveals for the Ghost Window challenge go out.

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

Oh god. 690,376. I honestly think I was happier not knowing that fact about myself.

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

I don't multitask well. I can write Star Wars fics or I can write Star Wars fics. I haven't even ventured outside the Clone Wars era yet.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Some Technical Difficulties - big gap - Solsbury Hill - An Uncivil War - medium-sized gap - An Unlikely Duo - another gap-ish - Down by the Seaside.

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yep. I like it when authors reply to me when I leave a comment, so I try to pay it forward. Also sometimes we get into fun little side chats.

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

At the moment, not one single damn one of them. They have angst in them, but none of them end on angst. However as of about twenty-four hours from now, my answer will be, Ghost Window AU.

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Literally all of them. I'm happy to read angst, but when it comes to writing I am firmly in the happy endings camp.

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

I had some people tell me they were dropping out of Solsbury Hill because it wasn't getting to the Obikin fast enough, but I wouldn't call that hate. So, no.

(Side note, though: you don't have to tell authors that. Just delete your subscription quietly.)

But, I am also very ready to delete any and all negative comments. This is my fun side project; good vibes only.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

...pretty vanilla kind, honestly. Again, I read much more adventurously than I write. (Although, as recently as two years ago I would have said I don't write smut at all, so hit me up two years from now and maybe I'll be writing hardcore d/s, I don't know.)

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

By the strict definition, no. If you're talking 'dump Star Wars characters into settings of other movies', then hell yeah, that's kind of my jam right now. Down by the Seaside is Obikin Overboard. Next year I'm planning to publish Obikin Jurassic Park, Obikin Parent Trap, and Obikin Princess Diaries II. And I have a couple more on my to-do list.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Is this a thing I need to worry about?? Shit.

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

@kittonafoxgirl did a podfic of Some Technical Difficulties and it is still like one of the top five most rad things that has ever happened to me; does that count?

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No but @fulcrum843 are currently mulling something over...

I do get a lot of help with my writing though. @piecesofeden11 basically wrote all the DnD stuff in An Unlikely Duo. I talk stuff out on Tumblr with folks all the time before I actually sit down to write it (or during, lol).

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

I have no plans to write anything other than Obikin, and there's so much new good fic that it takes up most of my reading time as well.

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I wouldn't call it a WIP because there are no words on a page but I love the *idea* of a fic based on Jenn Barkley from Parks & Rec but have no idea what direction to take it and may never get to it. (If anyone wants to take this idea and run with it please do; it is very much up for grabs!)

16.) What are your writing strengths?

This is a weird thing to answer about myself but I hope I write with a sense of movement, propulsion, even a little suspense - as a reader I love to feel that I have to turn the page, I have to see what comes next, I don't want to put this fic/book down - and I try to work towards that goal in my own writing.

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

Getting bogged down in details. It drives me crazy in movies when characters have these huge mansions but seemingly never go to work and somehow this has translated into me being incapable of just writing a smutty one-shot or whatever because what is everyone's job and how much is their mortgage payment and do they get paid on Fridays or Mondays and how many bedrooms does that apartment have.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

See answer above about over-complicating things: I came up with this whole system for An Uncivil War for whether I'm writing out the dialogue in a language other than Basic (I feel like we really only have enough information for me to be able to do this in Huttese and Mando'a, and even then only short conversations in certain subjects), or simply noting that a character is saying something in another language ("he said in Ryl" or whatever), or mixing Basic and a word/words in another language within the same sentence. It was important to me to capture that multilingualism, but it's also a lot of work, ngl.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Technically Johnlock but I never finished/published anything.

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

I love all my babies equally, she lied.

It's the Can't Stop the Suns series, which is An Uncivil War, Pick Up the Pieces (more than halfway completed), and Sometimes Fate Steps In (loosely outlined). Sometimes I'll just look over my notes and get giddy about how much good stuff I'm packing in there and how much *more* good stuff I haven't even gotten to yet. I'm throwing the kitchen sink of stuff I love at it. Even if the final version doesn't quite live up to the vision I see in my head (it rarely does), as long as I get close I'll be happy.

I tag @piecesofeden11, @underacalicosky, @fulcrum843, and, as usual, anyone else who feels up for it!

#obikin #solsbury hill #an uncivil war #an unlikely duo #down by the seaside #pick up the pieces #let's get together

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onmonotonyandotherailments · 4 months

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How do you deal with the voice in your head? (justified guilt and the like)

This is a question to the dear reader, and for personal research only, also happy pride to those who celebrate it

I don't really know what to do about life anymore, And it sounds so lame to start my first ever post like this, but i've seen all the "It girls" having a diary of some sorts to keep up with their thoughts and to reflect ont hteir daily life. I am not some It girl myself, If there's some list of requirements one must follow, i don't think i quite qualify, and using an aesthetic as a role to follow is probably not the best course of actin when you realize you are struggling.

That's also a big step for me, what's "struggling"? I've used it pretty liberally throughout my life but i don't know what it really encompasses, can i even call it a struggle? When bits just the consequence of my own actions? All struggles are consequences after all, but if the only way to find a faulty party is to look at my reflection i would rather not do it at all.

That's also something i've found about me recently, i don't like blaming people, or i say i do, because i hope they wont point fingers later, when they find out the fault was mine all along.

I keep on going on tangents latey, Back to the point, my life. Ironic sentence i think, Life being the point of discussion when i find life pointless. Not in a suicidal way, but in an avoidment of responsibilities and consequences kinda way. And its not like i havent thought about it, but when youre still living with your parents and your sibling, killing yourself is so much of a hassle for others, more than a big step for myself. So like so many of my attitudes i chose to put it on the list to do in about twenty to ten years or when im living alone.

Its a hopeful list honestly, aside from the /killing myself maybe/. Because as far as im made aware most of these feelings may just leave when i find my own freedom to actually do what i want.

The bad part is, and this is why i needed to do this blog too i think, that i could do most of these things if i just grab hold of the reign of my life and just "Got IT together" as many self motivation posts have pointed out already. The IT its aludding to may be related to these It girls ive written about previously.

Just joking of course, i just need to start studying more, and actually studying and get some part time job, something online even. Its not even that my degree is uninteresting to me, but when its your third time taking a class (and take the third as liberal as you can) and you still have no idea where anything is coming from, you kind of exhaust all other "faults". Its not my teachers as ive had many, its not my current environment, ive done both virtual and on campus classes, the basis ive had were enough for my peers who have already advanced into their actual careers so its me, its my fault.

And fault is so slimy and easy to ignore when its yours, and thats whats sweet about escapism, is that its soo easy and sweet, it fills the brain with that quick and easy dopamine. Love it! But working on your goals and marks on your life? ughhhhhhhhh such a lame-o way on life. Soooo

ive started this blog, mostly to hold myself "accountable" (blegh) and to aestheticize and romanticize life. But im sooo a total shut in, so i have to, in return, start to take care of myself for that outward appeal that they loove to share online. The basis of aesthetics, if you will.

Hopefully this and the deleting all other social media kinda works on favor of this. Hope i didnt come off as a total snob and more like a girl failure. we set the low very low so our highs(returning my overdue books to the library) look like actual progress.

Adding a pretty picture from when we visited our family on the province just to prove im not a Total shut in.

Lots of love, Celine

#diary #spilled thoughts #dear diary #trying #dear reader

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tiny-minecraft-rabbit · 4 months

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Yeah,, I've been hyperfixating on @rhapsoddity Vigilante Sheriff AU and obviously Spectrum. This specifically is from this template from Rhaps.

Oh yeah, and I also wrote 1600 words of a oneshot to go along with this,, just a little self-indulgent fun. Content Warning for mindcontrol and hypnosis-

Slipping away was easy when it came to being one of Spectrum’s “llamas”. Really, there were so many of them, some conscious, some not, that you could slip through the cracks for a few minutes and be back before either Owenge or Spectrum himself noticed. It made undercover work much easier.

Berry hadn’t wanted to end hero work when his identity had been outed, but shrinking powers wasn’t very useful outside of reconnaissance and undercover and the Empire’s Watcher tower had no more use for someone that couldn’t hide in plain sight. They finally relented in giving him one more job: undercover as one of Spectrum’s llamas.

As a volunteer llama, he could get away with wearing a mask to cover his identity. So, with a bit of purple hair dye, his rabbit ears pinned back (and the llama-ear headband helped with that) and the purple monochrome poncho, he was unrecognizable and indistinguishable from the other llamas.

It hadn’t taken much to convince Owenge that he wanted to join the team and he was given a time and place to meet and then put to work immediately. Turns out being a llama was a lot of cleaning out abandoned warehouses for Spectrum to use as temporary bases and occasionally standing in the way of any hero or vigilante that tried to get by. He wasn’t even expected to fight all that much, or atleast, no one ever got in trouble for not holding off anyone with powers.

While the work itself wasn’t hard, being in the presence of Spectrum was. The man was constantly flinging his powers around, readjusting the hypnotism on some of the less willing llamas or simply color swatching new looks for his base. It gave him headaches if he looked too long. Not to mention, Spectrum, in his great opinion, was a bit of a selfish brat. From what Berry could tell he did everything for the sake of easing his own unending boredom, including destroying several people’s lives.

Berry had pushed himself behind a pile of crates now, writing down the names of several civilians that were currently being fitted for llama ponchos. Spectrum had some plans (ones he wasn’t yetprivy to) and needed more fodder to go through with it. This meant more hypnotized victims. Berry would be sending the list of names to the Watcher Tower by the end of the day, at the very least their families would know where they were.

“Well, hello there. What are you doing?” Owenge asked, head poking into Berry’s hiding spot with a raised eyebrow.

Berry jumped, quickly hiding the journal behind his back, “Oh! Owenge, sir! Hey, sorry, I was just- Uh… Writing in my diary?”

Owenge hummed and grabbed his arm, pulling him out from behind the crates. He didn’t ease his grip as he held out his hand, “Give. Now.”

“It’s my diary,” Berry tried again, feeling dread overtake him. He couldn’t hand over the journal, it had everything he learned about Spectrum practically spelled out in big letters. His cover would be blown.

His cover had been blown.

“Right. Don’t believe you,” Owenge said with a grin, yanking Berry closer. He reached around and pulled the journal from his hand himself. “If it is, you have nothing to worry about. Unless you’ve been writing nasty things about me that is.”

“Please, Owenge, sir, just let me-”

Owenge shoved him against the wall and began flipping through it. He paused occasionally at certain pages, nodded to himself, and then snapped it closed. The journal was slipped it into his pocket and he readjusted to a bruising grip on Berry's arm. “Right. I’ve seen enough. Let’s see Spectrum, shall we? He’s gonna have just a small chat with you.”

Berry gulped. He knew what would happen next. Spectrum would just wave a hand and he’d become another mindless llama; one they would be keeping a close eye on. Best thing to do now was cut his loses and run.

He activated his powers, shrinking right out of Owenge’s grip.

Owenge yelped in surprise as Berry hit the ground running, darting for the exit. “Spectrum! We got a problem!” he called out, taking chase after his diminished form.

Berry had to grow back to full height to be able to outrun Owenge; and he nearly got about halfway to the doors. Then he was stopped in his tracks when two other llamas barrelled into him, close to knocking him off his feet as they grabbed a hold of him. He tried one more time to shrink away, but their grips just tightened around his arms as his feet left the floor and, by the time he was nearly two feet tall, one of them was reaching to grab him around the middle. He quickly grew back up in size to avoid being grabbed like a doll.

“Well. Well. Well,” Spectrum spoke up from behind them, boot heels clicking on the concrete. The llamas holding him were stiff and unyielding with Spectrum so close, so both were likely hypnotized victims. They would be easy to get away from if he were willing to hurt them. (Berry really wasn't willing to hurt anyone at the moment.)

The colorful villain stepped in front of him, a playful smirk over his face. Most other villains likely would have been furious at the realization a spy was amongst them; Spectrum just found it amusing. This was probably the most exciting thing that’s happened today for him. “Looks like we have a runner. I don’t remember, are you someone I recruited or Owen?” He punctuated the statement by turning the surrounding area a swirl of colors.

Owenge caught up with them, pulling Berry’s journal out of his pocket and handing it over to Spectrum. “They came to me, said they wanted some extra cash and some fun. Seemed legit. Till I found them just now with this.”

Spectrum glanced through the journal, pouting as he did, “You’ve been naughty, haven’t you? Some of the things you’ve written down... No wonder the Heroes have been on my tail more than usual. We’ll really have to put an end to all this journaling.”

Berry figured this was his last chance and tried again to shrink out of the llamas’ grip, yanking with all his might. The llamas held fast and the colors around him increased in intensity. There was a sudden sharp pain in his head, slowly dulling to a low throbbing. Made it hard to think.

“Oh, none of that,” Spectrum cooed, hand cupping his cheek. Berry took deep breaths as he returned to his proper height, trying not to show how much he was shaking. “Fun powers you have there. Familiar too. Wasn’t there a disgraced hero with the same ones?”

He didn’t answer, just pulling his head away from Spectrum. His eyes darted around for an escape. There was nothing but swirling colors and Spectrum in his vision now. The warehouse was gone from sight.

Spectrum reached forward and pushed off the llama headband and pulled the black mask off his face. “There we go, just as I thought. You're Rabbit Redux, how cute. Y’know..." He paused, one hand slipping under an ear and rubbing at the fur, "-I always wanted a pet bunny.”

Berry’s eyes widened, “No. No. Wait a second.”

Spectrum shushed him, his other hand resting along his neck. Colors swirled- brighter, faster. His vision was fuzzy with them. He could feel his body relaxing against his will. “There we go. Relax. It’ll be so much easier to just give in.”

His breathing even out slowly. His flinching form slowly slumping to something more relaxed. His rabbit ears straightened out to their natural upright position. His thoughts filtered out bit by bit.

Eventually the colors eased up, the warehouse coming back. Spectrum waved off the llamas holding him and Owenge led them away to complete some jobs until later tonight when they’d actually come into play.

“Now, what to do with you, bunny,” Spectrum hummed with contemplation. He grabbed Berry’s hand, pulling him along, further into the warehouse, “Let’s start with a new outfit, something a bit more appropriate for a little doll.”

₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎ ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎ ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎

Scott hummed to himself as he clipped the berets into Berry’s hair. Turns out the rabbit hybrid’s hair was stick-straight without product, but Scott could handle that easily. He certainly didn't mind spending a few extra minutes in the morning curling his hair. It wasn't much more time than what he was spending dollying Berry up with soft makeup.

Berry was a cute little doll for Scott, and once he was under the hypnosis he was easy to keep under. Some people would slip in and out and overall be a constant annoyance for him, but Berry was so easy he barely needed any influence.

Scott pulled him out of the bathroom and walked around him, taking in the cute little outfit he decided for the bunny hybrid today: a soft lavender turtleneck sweater and light blue overall shorts, lavender striped thigh-highs and rabbit themed sneakers. He was precious! Scott booped Berry’s nose, watching his eyes flutter but otherwise not react.

“Perfect,” Scott sighed and waved a hand, a soft array of colors swirling around Berry’s head, “Now shrink down, Berry, like a good little rabbit.”

Berry swayed for a second before his height reduced. In seconds he was standing at just a foot tall. Scott was quick to pick him up, tucking him into his arms like one would hold an actual rabbit. He stroked the fluffy ears unabashedly.

“Such a sweet bunny, come on, we have a fun day planned ahead,” Scott cooed.

He loved carting Berry along place to place like this, or tucked inside a bag like a quaint little purse dog. His own personal hero turned dress up doll.

A little pet rabbit, just for him.

#uh suppose I'm not main tagging this lmao #this is likely the last self insert I ever do #rabbit writes #rabbit arts #cw hypnosis #cw mind control #self insert #don't unfollow me for this pretty please

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babytaes · 3 years

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The Kickback

summary: What happens when your long-life crush's secret is discovered? In hopes of not wanting him to find out, what do you do... nothing.

pairing: dk x female reader

genre: fluff, slice of life, crack lol.

warnings: profanity

word count: 3k

a/n: today is my birthday and I wanted to share this one that has been in my drafts for so long. this campus life is stressful but I’m finding time to upload here and there. I hope you enjoy and have a great day/night. Much love from Babytaes! :) Also I really didn’t read this over sooo... if it doesn’t make sense. Take it up with corporation.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Dear diary, I saw my crush today. I saw him in the living room after my brother invited him over with another friend. It's not as if I'm scared of him. I've spoken with him numerous times. I mean, I'm almost fluent in his language, lol. Seeing him and hearing his boisterous laugh was still entertaining. I'm wondering if he'll be at the kickback this weekend; if so, maybe I'll have the bravery to approach him. Okay, goodbye journal, love y/n.”

Your life consisted of short, insignificant interactions with him; however, when you had a crush, life was exciting and unpredictable. Since you're so near to him on a daily basis, your crush increased exponentially as you couldn't control your intrusive thoughts.

Yes, you did think of him, probably 25/8. It's not like you didn't know him, but you only knew the head version of him. And we all know they could be two different people. So the only thing left to do is keep it secret.

It's impossible for your secret to come out when you're the only one who knows about it. Right? Unfortunately, this isn't a movie, and your secret was revealed, and the perpetrator was none other than your arch-nemesis, Boo Seungkwan.

Okay, not quite that far, but you and him frequently collided because you and him could never agree on anything. He's just Boo, and he has his own behavior category.

He was the second-to-last person you wanted to find out about, after your crush, of course. From this point on, your life was not going as planned.

Your secret would never be revealed to Lee Seokmin, and you would do anything to protect it.

“What are you doing?” You leapt to your feet as you hurriedly closed your diary, terrified of prying eyes.

You rolled your eyes and stuffed your journal into a drawer with random papers, saying, "Shit, why don't you ever knock."

“Well, this is my shared dorm, and you're basically free living here,” he chuckled. You gave him a sidelong glance.

He was right.

“Is that a way you treat your twin? Is it now.”

He strolled away, completely oblivious to your yelling, and into the kitchen.

“Shut up, and get your ass out here we have to go shopping for the kickback. If you’re not out in 10 I’m leaving your ass.”

Great sibling love, what more could you ask for. As much as you know that this is the way he expresses his love, you still got up and started getting ready for the day despite his warning.

Amidst your constant disagreements with him, you still loved him. The only problem was that you had to keep your love interest hidden from him. You could see it now and the big brother trying to protect and all that annoying shit.

You were old enough to take care of yourself and you didn’t want unruly men to ruin something that you wanted for so long.

“Coming, if you leave me, I'll tell Mom.” And I think we can all agree that I am the favorite twin.” As he slammed the fridge door shut, you could hear his huge scoffs.

You hurriedly grabbed your purse and beanie as you dashed for the door, laughing at his tantrums. He had a habit of leaving you behind.

We will not speak of March 5, 2017.

“Hey, wait up,” you said as you ran to his car and jumped in before him, grabbing the aux before him.

He started the car and sped out of the dorm parking lot on his way to the store, saying, "You're such a pain in the ass."

“Oh, don't act as if you don't love me.”

“Whoever said I did must have lied to you. Mingyu laughed as he accelerated through Seoul's crowded streets.

The jokes, the laughter, and the love were all part of the experience of living with one of the biggest Kpop groups.

You wouldn’t have it any other way!

While listening to your playlist, the song "Come to You" perfectly complemented the mood.

You smiled as you passed many streets and watched the busy lives of many different people. You could say you had an imaginative mind.

We arrived at the store a long way down the road, grabbed one of the carts, and proceeded to a separate aisle of the store.

Buying stuff was always expensive with a party of 13 and more friends on the way. Almost everything had to be doubled, and the meat had to be tripled. When throwing a party, everyone is required to provide a dish.

You didn't seem to mind; after all, you weren't paying, so you just chilled on the cart while you watched Mingyu placed the goods in neatly.

You told Mingyu to grab a specific chip as you walked to the chip aisle, and he furrowed his brow.

“What are those? I've never seen them before.

"Dokyeom likes them," you blurted out without a second thought. As you mentally processed what you had said, you stared at him with wide eyes.

Shit.

“When they're not there, Dokyeom and Soonyoung get upset.” You shook your head and scooted by him, tossing two bags into the overflowing shopping cart.

“Oh-okay I guess you can get them.”

As you pushed the cart toward the cashier, you mentally slapped yourself in the face. You were certain that you would not crack.

The ride home was silent as the only noise was the continuous taps from Mingyu's fingers on the wheel.

Mingyu called wonwoo on his phone as he drove up to the dorm and asked him to help with the groceries.

As you heard Mingyu pout over the phone, he refused, and not even minutes after, wonwoo is strolling down the driveway on his way to the car.

“You shouldn't even have picked up I know I wouldn't" Wonwoo pushed your shoulder and chuckled at your humor. “I know”

“Heyyy I'm right here,” Mingyu began to sulk as he observed his sister speaking without him.

You and wonwoo both chuckled as you gathered your belongings and began walking away from Mingyu.

---

The days went by slowly as you reached the door. It was time to leave the house. You grabbed a jacket and purse. Today, the boys went to Hybe for a quick practice session before heading out for the weekend.

Because you are such a good friend and thoughtful person, you decided to buy them a few drinks as a gift. It wasn't anything special, you didn't want to see anyone, noo.

It took some time to order everything, especially with the large number of 13 items. Since you've known each other for most of your lives, the drinks on the list haven't changed. Ice Americanos and Frappes were the most popular drinks.

As soon as you arrived at the Hybe building, you swiftly grabbed the bag containing the drinks and proceeded to their floor. You finally made it to their practice room after thanking the employees for their assistance.

Slowly pushing the door open, you drew the attention of almost everyone as they turned to face you. As a number of them raced over to you and took the beverages from you, smiles crept across their faces.

As they sipped their drinks, the room was filled with thank yous and hellos.

The voice of an angel said, "Thanks again, y/n." He gave you a short smile before returning to his practice. Oblivious to people around you, words spilled out.

“Fuck, he's so attractive.”

“Whose good looking?” As you slowly turned around, you heard a voice speaking to you from behind you.

Fuck

It's Boo Seungkwan. He smiled at you as he grabbed a drink from your hand. He cocked his head as he sipped it, and his eyes widened.

“Don’t tell me you said dokyeom is good looking, no fucking way.”

As you coughed to relieve the high tension in the air, you started to mentally sweat.

“That's insane, I said the room was in good condition," you said as you slapped his shoulder and shook your head.

Come on, y/n, that didn't even make sense.

“You know you're not going to fool me, y/n?” Afraid that someone would find out, you dragged him into a back room and locked the door behind him

“Shit..shit..shit. If you tell anyone, I swear I'll -

Laughing, before raising his eyebrows after taking a sip of his americano, he cut you off.

"You're right, this is important information. But you already know that I'll keep my mouth shut about the situation. I don’t even know what we’re talking about right now.”

Seungkwan heard dokyeom announce that practice had resumed as the door opened. Before he left, he smiled at you and waved goodbye.

“Y/n and dokyeom in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. As you were about to leap across the couch to silence him, he jumped up and ran out of the door laughing.

All of a sudden, your mind was filled with confusion and paranoia.

It became increasingly difficult to watch them practice as the session progressed. Your thoughts were not positive, and your attitude was slowly deteriorating.

Imagining the worst-case scenario. You paced in the back room when you heard a knock at the door. As you mentally prepared yourself, it caught you off guard. While walking side by side, Hansol and Seungkwan were whispering.

“Did they know?” You didn’t want anyone to find out so you ran, and didn’t stop running. To avoid society, you hurried out the door after saying a quick goodbye to the boys.

The goodbyes were not even heard as you hurried out of the Hybe parking lot without looking back. In a small group, information spreads quickly. And he was bound to find out.

Flushed and worried, you staggered into the dorm room. You knew your secret was going to get out eventually. In the case where Hansol and Seungkwan knew, Joshua is likely to know.

And since Joshua is close to the older boys, Seungcheol and Jeonghan know. The news would then spread to Hoshi, and then the entire performance team would be in the know.

The only remaining candidates are Mingyu and dk. If Mingyu finds out, it's game over for you at that point.

There was no point of living any more. Having completed a full loop of the house, you had come to your room for the final time. You slowly melted to the ground and fell out.

Dokyeon is more likely to know if Mingyu knows.

"What went wrong?" Unable to control yourself as you rolled around the floor, you erupted into a tantrum.

You sat up and shook your head, "I'll just have to leave the country," you said. "Man, you're so smart. Your plan y/n is fantastic."

You ran to your room, grabbed your suitcase from your closet, and began tossing things into.

No need to pack everything since you were only going to be gone for a year. As soon as your adrenaline slowed down, you began packing.

(A few hours later)

You were relieved when your clothes fit into your luggage when you had finally done packing. You were on your way now, and as long as it wasn't here, everything was good.

“Ah, I figured it out; now let's book it.”

When you approached the door, you unlocked it, and we were greeted with a pleasant surprise.

You walked up to the door and opened it, where you were greeted by Mingyu and his gang. Outside the door, you could see him, hao, dk, and wonwoo. They stared at you as they looked you up and down, perplexed as to why you appeared to be departing.

“Um, what is going on and where are you going?” Mingyu reacted with a rejoinder of his own.

Your throat felt as though it was clogging up, and you began sweating furiously under your armpits. Thank god for hoodies.

“Well, I was simply going to visit a friend's house,” you explained.

You knew he wouldn't believe you; he knew most of your friends, and they didn't live that far away for you to be carrying that much.

“First, that's a lie, and second, I need to speak with you, so your "buddy" will have to wait.” You sighed and closed your eyes.

Your escape had to wait.

Mingyu took your suitcase and slid it near the door, while the other members shuffled awkwardly into the room. While the other lads sat in the living room, Wonwoo went to his room.

“Maybe I could escape now?”

“What did you say y/n?” minghao said as he glanced at you.

You waved your hand in front of them and did a walk of shame to your room as you physically and mentally prepared yourself for whatever Mingyu had to say.

So much for your crush now.

Mingyu sat on the edge of your bed, arms crossed, staring at you.

“Sit down, he patted the bed on your side before lightly coughing.

"Some rumors have been going around, so I wanted to clear the air."

Seeing what he was about to say made your heart race, and you couldn't take it any longer. Does anyone else hear their loud banging, could Mingyu hear it?

You leapt to your feet and shouted at him before apologizing on your knees.

What a sight to see, a grown ass woman on her knees apologizing to her twin brother.

“I apologize; I should have told you first, but I was afraid you'd tell him. That's why I kept it a secret and plus dating a member of seventeen. That's dangerous enough-“.

Mingyu's "WHAT" cut you off.

You came to a halt as he got up, slowly staring up at him.

“Wait, weren't we discussing my crush on Dokyeom or something else?” Worries began to creep in as sweat began to accumulate on your brow.

“What the fuck, you have a crush on do-?” you exclaimed as you jumped to your feet and tackled Mingyu to the ground.

“Don't say it so loudly; he'll hear you.” As Mingyu began to pace around the room, as he pushed you off of him.

You could see his anger as he panicked, and his small rage tantrum was truly uncomfortable because he couldn't communicate his ideas to you because he was afraid of his companions' sensitive ears.

He pointed to the door and said, "Wait, so you do have a crush on him." You sighed, shaking your head.

As he walked away from you, he had another outburst.

Everything is now turning to shit, this was your only chance.

“I have to escape” you said as you dashed out the door and to your suitcase. Mingyu was standing behind you, staring at you in terror.

It wasn't in the plan for you to fall on him, but it was still nice. Focus y/n.

“I’m sorry, dokyeom; it was my fault. I didn't realize you were there. “Are you okay?” As you extended your hand to him, you pushed yourself off of him.

“Yeah, I'm OK, are you okay?” he asked. You've had quite a tumble.”

“Yeah I’m good, I live with a clumsily brother so I’m fine”

“Hey!"

You swiftly let go of each other and placed your hands behind your back as you became embarrassed.

“Hey, Seungcheol texted the group chat and said he wants to go out to eat. He said whoever can come.”

The boys instantly got ready as they wanted to eat, food is a great scapegoat. As you saw them exit the dorm, you took a step back and found your way back to your room.

“Is leaving still an option?” you murmured into your pillows, plopping your exhausted body on your bed and overthinking life.

---

You rolled over and looked at the clock, which reads 9:30 a.m.

You turned over in your bed, unable to yell, and trudged to the bathroom to make yourself presentable.

“What have you gotten yourself into, y/n?” You stripped off your clothing and stepped into the hot water after turning on the shower.

You didn't spend much time in the shower, but today you were engrossed in how your plan had devolved into this ordeal.

Resting your head on the tile as the hot water traced down your back, you contemplated on what the HELL you were going to do.

*BANG BANG*

“Y/n hurry up, we have to prepare.”

Hearing Mingyu's voice drew you back to reality as you turned off the water and got out of the shower, unlocking the door and letting him in.

“Hey, no snarky remark?” he said as he watched you walk to your room with your head down. You ignored him as you closed the door and prepared for the party.

It didn't take long for your calm disposition to be noticed, since you were the outspoken one. Even if you tried to fake it, it didn't work out.

You grinned as you walked through the background of Seungcheol and Jeonghan shared housing, looking at the celebration.

There were groups of people near the pool, at the grill, and even by the chairs, as you could see.

“Hey, bring the food inside; I'll take the meat to cheol,” mingyu said, shaking your head as you picked up the bags and headed to the kitchen, where you recognized some familiar faces.

“Y/nnnnnnnnn, heyyyyy, I’ve missed you.” When you saw her, you put the bags on the counter and hugged her, smiling into her embrace.

“It's great to see you again, yeji; how are you and the rest of the group doing?” Are the others here?” As she led you back outside, she interlaced your hands in hers.

You saw dokyeom and a few other people descend the steps before you left, as he waved and gave you a quick glance.

As you reach for a drink from the cooler, your heart begins to race. Something had to be turned off if you wanted to make it through the night, and this was the only way.

You took a sip and coughed loudly as you followed Yeji to the poolside.

It was going to be a long night for you.

---

As you and a group of individuals began to dance uncontrollably, the effects of the alcohol in your system began to show as you staggered to the grill.

“HeEeeyyYY, Wheeeere d'ya think yeeeeer goin’?” you slurred, jabbing a finger into seungcheol’s back

The other members laughed as they glanced at you, plainly detecting your intoxication.

“I forgot how drunk you can get, so why don't you take a break,” your overprotective brother says, making you scream within.

He always did this.

Gerroff me!” you said. “I’m ash sober ash ’m gonna git. And nuffink I - wait wait wait - nuffink you can do ‘boutit.” As you ambled back to the kitchen without so much as a hiccup in their direction, they laugh.

As you struggled to reach the door, you fell forward and were grabbed by a hand. As he lifted you from your imminent doom, his hold felt warm. With your eyes enlarged, you focused on the individual and stared at his face.

As you grabbed on to him, your words tumbled out of your mouth, “Ohmygoshimsosorry.” He drew you closer to him by taking your hands in his.

Saying your heart was racing was an understatement, it was literally pounding out of your chest. You were hand in hand with your crush, who you believed was exceptionally attractive and talented, and you wished he knew more about your sentiments or could somehow fill them.

But you know no huge idol like him would go for you. Feeling that made you sober up real fast as you felt your arm being pulled upstairs, you had no idea where you were going but it looked like someone's room.

Dokyeom eased open the door as he sat you on the bed and went to get some water from a little fridge. He handed it to you and sat next to you.

“Thanks”

“No problem, also I've been trying to talk to you all night but you appear to be occupied.”

As you took a sip of water, your heart began to beat faster; “waitttt, we donthavetotalk. Let’s dance! As he chuckled at your erratic movements, you began to wander around the room, pulling your hands into yours.

The alcohol was definitely making its way out of your system.

As he spun you around, his body in tune with the music, the bass of the song could still be heard. Even though this felt like a dream you didn’t quite care at the moment. Was it because you'd finally met the boy from your dreams, or was it because he wanted to meet you in person?

Your connection with him got stronger by the second, as did your heartbeat, which began to rise steadily with it. You couldn't keep stalling any longer; you needed to listen to what he was saying.

“I think I'm sober up for now,” you said as you let go of his hand.

Dokyeom chuckled before tossing his head back, “I didn't realize you could move like that” he said as they sat back on the bed, a little closer than before.

“I guess I learnt a few things along the way when you're friends with the best dancers out here.” As you finished your sentence, he peered into your eyes, making no sound as the room fell silent.

“Soo, what did you want to talk about?” you awkwardly state to relieve some tension in the air.

“I don't know how to explain it, but I kind of heard your "secret" as it passed through the practice room, and I simply wanted to be the first one to tell you about it because-

Your heart stopped pounding as your world came crashing down around you. You didn't want to hear it; the rejection; you'd rather live in your fantasy world, where you don't have to worry about anything. It wasn't true if you didn't hear it.

“Wait, if you can't reconcile those feelings, don't say anything; just let me go.” They're probably curious about our whereabouts anyway.” And with that, you stood up and walked towards the door, but you were pulled back by his hand.

He kissed you as swiftly as his hands linked with yours. You were taken aback at first by his passion, but you regained your calm and reminded yourself of what was going on: he was really kissing you, and you were really kissing him, and the rest of the world was inconsequential.

You were chilling on the outside while shouting for joy at the top of your lungs on the inside, as if your inner child had been set free. You had to be sure if this was a dream or if it was happening in real life.

“Ouch”

“Why did you do that?” Dokyeom asked as he gripped your arm in his.

“I had to double-check that I wasn't dreaming; this isn't the first time something like this has happened to me.”

“So you're saying I've been in your dreams?” he laughed as he cocked his head to the side and placed his hand in yours.”

You smacked your forehead and shook your head, realizing you couldn't get out of this one, and now he knew you fantasize about him. You didn't mind because the lad of your dreams was right in front of your eyes.

AND HE WAS HOLDING YOUR MF HAND. It was clear that your diary needed to be updated.

Stopping at the door, you placed your palm on his chest and worriedly stared at him.

“Wait, how did you find out?”

“Well, a tiny birdie was chattering loudly about it, his name rhymes with coo,” he said as he grabbed your hand in his and opened the door and began the walk downstairs.

“Fucking Boo Seungkwan”

#seventeen #svt #seventeen dokyeom #seventeen dk #seventeen lee seokmin #lee seokmin #seventeen fluff #dk fluff #seventeen crack #seventeen x female reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen reactions #seventeen masterlist #babytaes works #much love from babytaes

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fbfh · 3 years

Text

I think you've horribly misread the situation [shitty roommate pt 2] - leo x reader

wc: 2.3k

genre: contemporary drama, you're definitly going to get second hand embarrassment, cozy fluff

pairing: leo x reader, attempted isabella x leo

reader: gender neutral, they/them

requested: hell yeah

warnings: mild swearing, roommate tries to steal your man once again, mentions of various mainstream vampire media (twilight, the vampire diaries etc.), brief mention of castlevania (even though i haven't seen it yet lol), breif mention of videogames and assassins creed, very mild delusion (roommate is secretly convinced leo is a vampire that's in love with her), attempted age gap relationship (she's 17 and leo's 19, he shuts that down real fast), very bad poetry

summary: You and Leo are both looking foward to spending a long weekend together, and Leo is determined not to let anything interrupt it, even if it means turning down your roommate's attempts to seduce him in the kitchen.

a/n: absolutley no hate or shade or judgement to anyone who has the same or similar traits as isabella!!!!!! at her core she's annoying because she's the antagonist, not bc of any isolated trait or traits

also she's shitty cause she keeps trying to steal your boyfriend?????

Edit: I forgot to mention before, but this is a college au where you're both still demigods, so you went to camp and on quests and stuff together

This weekend is going to be all about recharging. Recharging from the ridiculous back to back closing and opening shifts at work, recharging from having to redo that stupid project twice because your professor couldn’t decide on a clear way to define the criteria, and recharging from Isabella having her townie friend Regan over almost non stop to “completely shake up her look” as she put it.

Between the constant presence of someone you’d barely consider an acquaintance and Big Time Rush’s self titled album blasting on repeat out of her giant airpod shaped speaker, it’s been harder than usual to get in some effective self care. You have no idea how many more times you can hear the phrase “I’m going for Jade West meets Elena Gilbert, with just a little Buffy Summers” before you lose your fucking mind.

Thankfully, the hard part is almost over. There’s some minor holiday tomorrow on friday, so you and Leo both have a three day weekend ahead of you, which you intend to spend entirely together. You planned ahead, frontloading homework, chores, errands, and everything you could think of to remove anything that isn’t cuddling or playing video games and watching netflix together from your horizon.

This includes going straight from work to the grocery store to stock the fridge and get any snacks you and Leo want. You had texted him a while ago asking for anything he was craving, and head into the store with a concrete list. After a while, you circle around some aisles, avoiding the check out.

“I feel like I’m forgetting something,” you muse, knowing it’s untrue, but hoping to trigger a memory anyway. You can’t put it off any longer, finally checking out and heading back to your apartment. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t avoiding Isabella just a little.

You know bringing in all these groceries would be way easier with Isabella and possibly Regan’s help, but you just don’t have the social energy to talk to anyone, much less her, right now. By some miracle, you bring everything in yourself, and hope to get it put away before you see Isabella.

You turn to the freezer, putting away the ice cream. When you turn back around, you’re suddenly met face to face with Isabella, who has opened one of the boxes and is picking at a pastry.

“Hey girlie,” she says, elongating the hey.

“Hey,” you reply lethargically, putting the last of the groceries away. She looks at the pastry in her hand like she’s just noticing it.

“Sorry, I can’t help it, I’m italian.” She smiles, endeared by her own behavior. You have no idea what being italian has to do with asking before you open a box of your roommate’s food, but this really isn’t out of character for her. She brings up the fact that she’s half italian more than Lele Pons blames her behavior on being latina.

She’s wearing sweatpants that say chaser on the leg in red and gold varsity font, and a tight tee shirt that says “it’s okay to love them both” with silhouettes of the male love interests from one of the vampire shows she always watches. You collect the plastic bags to put in recycling, and see a piece of paper on the counter.

It reads as follows:

Drowning in my mind

No one hears me cry

Who was I before society

Before society put me in a pink dress

And handed me blonde hair dye

And told me to lose ten pounds or be labeled a freak?

The happiest people cry the most

Let the lyrics be your story

But I’m not like the other skinny blonde pretty girls

I’m

Different

-b.g. xox

You hold back a sigh.

“I think this is yours.” you say, handing it to her.

“Oh, it’s just some of my poetry I left lying around, that’s so embarrassing.”

I know, you think, you do that all the time.

“Did you read it?” She asks, hopefully.

“Nope.”

“Thank god, that would have been so embarrassing. My poetry is something really… deep, and personal to me.”

“Uh huh. Hey, I’m going to be doing a lot of self care this weekend, so-”

“Oh!” she interjects, eerily similar to Phoebe Buffay - you guess she’s been watching friends again - “I wanted to ask… is Leo coming over later?” Her voice is riddled with subtext, the expression on her face a little too invested in your answer.

“Uh, yeah. I told you the other day we’re spending the weekend together…”

She cuts you off again, a sudden, intense look on her face.

“When will he be here?”

You check your phone, scrolling through your recent texts.

“By 7 at the latest.” It’s around 6:40 now.

“Oh my god, I have to change,” she rushes back to her room, presumably digging through her recent additions to her closet.

You’re frozen for a minute after the interaction, left with a furrowed brow and the beginnings of a headache. You blink, then choose to reschedule processing why she feels the need to change for your boyfriend to a more convenient time. That’s enough of that for today. You don’t care what else happens, you’re not talking to anyone besides Leo for at least the rest of the day. You retreat to your room to finally shower and change into something comfy. As you pass by Isabella’s room, you hear her talking to Regan.

“...There’s something almost… supernatural about him.”

You bite back a laugh.

“Do you think he’s a…” Regan begins, ending the sentence with something too quiet to hear, but you’d bet almost any organ she said vampire.

So close. So, so close, and yet… here you are.

Not much later, Leo texts you to let you know he’s here. You read his text, and run out to hug him in the living room before even typing a reply. He picks you up, and spins you around. The embrace is warm and fulfilling and familiar, and you wish it would last forever.

“Hi, Sparky.” you murmur into his neck.

“Estrella…” he says, rocking you back and forth gently and pressing a kiss into your jawline, “I missed you so much.” He punctuates the sentence with another kiss, this one to your lips, and you smile more genuinely than you have all day. You’re about to agree when you remember the good news you’ve been saving to tell him in person.

“Guess what I got on sale for like, half off,” you start, excitedly, continuing at his invested expression, “the Assassin’s Creed bundle I showed you!”

“No way,” he starts, and you nod.

“I’ll go get everything set up, drinks are in the kitchen!” He watches you retreat into your room, disbelieving how he could possibly get someone as perfect as you to fall for him. He’s not going to question his luck. He grabs a couple caffeinated sparkling ices, and meets you in your room, setting down his bag and grabbing some comfy clothes to change into.

As you both get settled in, you fill each other in on all the ridiculous shit you’ve been through this week. You finally conclude the bizarre - yet somehow standard - Isabella escapades.

“So I will be avoiding all contact as much as possible,” you laugh.

“Yeah, no shit,” he agrees, “Consider me your human buffer.” You thank him, hugging him again and pressing a kiss to his lips.

The next couple hours are spent cuddling and finishing season 4 of Castlevania. Both reeling from the season finale, you agree this is a good place to take a break, get some food, and decide what game you should start with. It’s already 10pm, which most people would consider too late for dinner, but you have all weekend to fuck up your sleep schedules.

“Let’s review,” Isabella says, holding up two red lipsticks. She turns to Regan. “Which one?”

“That one,” Regan says, pointing to the one on the left, then turns to her list, and continues. “Here’s what we know; we’ve never seen him eat, and he never seems tired. He’s really smart-”

“Almost too smart,” Isabella adds, selecting black rose dangle earrings from her jewelry. Regan agrees, and continues.

“He’s almost hypnotically attractive, and his smile is a little too dazzling.”

“There’s something… supernatural about him. Like he’s not… all human.”

Regan writes this down.

“Plus he’s always wearing black and red, and those flowy button up shirts? It’s all adding up, Ree. That dream that someone was outside my window, the ring, everything…” She says, referencing the black and red cocktail ring she’d found with her stuff when she’d first moved, “I’m not saying it’s definite, just that… there’s a chance.”

“What about…” Regan says hesitantly, nodding toward your room.

“Please,” she scoffs, “he’s only with them to get close to me, like Damon and Caroline. Edward couldn’t have just approached Bella out of the blue, he had to infiltrate her friend group first, to seem less suspicious. Not to sound mean or anything, but they really don’t seem like the type someone… like him… would choose.” her voice gets dreamy when she mentions him.

In spite of having seen most mainstream vampire media almost as many times as Isabella, Regan still considers her the expert on these things, and decides not to point out that Edward didn’t infiltrate Bella’s friend group. Maybe it comes up in one of the retellings she hasn’t read yet.

“So, what now?”

Isabella sets down her lipstick, and turns to her friend.

“I tell him.”

Regan’s eyes widen.

“You’re going to tell him you know?”

“No… not yet. It’s too soon, we don’t have enough evidence. I’m going to tell him I know he’s in love with me, then once he’s secure in our relationship... we’ll see where it goes.”

She stands up, assessing herself in the mirror. She chose her outfit carefully; short red dress with black roses and black mesh collar, black rose bracelet to match her earrings, snug faux leather jacket, and black stiletto ankle booties with a very skinny heel, the zipper on the outside gold, not silver. She fluffs her wavy hair and turns towards the door. She looks back one more time, holding onto the doorway.

“Wish me luck.”

Leo enters the kitchen, seeing Isabella already there, leaning against the counter seductively. She’s wearing an outfit and jewelry this late at night that makes Leo wonder if she’s going to an emo tea party. He puts the takeout in the microwave. She’s still staring at him.

“Uh… hey.”

She lets out a dainty giggle, looking him up and down.

“... Hi.”

At a loss for words, and really wanting the awkward silence to be over, he continues, “Did you need something?”

“What I need,” she walks closer to him, tracing her finger over his collar, “is you.”

What the fuck?

His brain seems to stall for a moment, and she uses this opportunity to continue.

“I know why you’re here. I know that you’re only using them to get closer to me. I know-”

“Woah-”

“That you’re in love with me.”

Okay, double what the fuck.

She takes his stunned silence as shyness, and steps closer, putting her arms around his shoulders.

“You don’t need to play so coy, I-”

This time she’s the one that gets cut off. He grabs her arms and gently steps away, trying to make it abundantly clear that he’s not into this.

“Woah, okay, slow down. First of all, you’re 17 and I’m turning 20 in a couple months, so that’s a hard no. Second, I don’t know where you got this idea, but I am not dating them to get closer to you. We’ve known each other since we were like, 15, and have been through everything together. I’ve only known you for a couple months. I love them. Probably more than I’ve loved anything ever. I thought that was pretty obvious.”

He doesn’t want to be mean, he really doesn’t, but he can tell from the look on her face that she still thinks this is all part of some game.

“So why don’t I ever see you eat? Why are you so smart, and always up at night? I know what you are.”

He has to physically hold back a laugh. He takes a step back, and places his hands on the counter.

“Isabella, I have adhd. And I’m literally an engineering student. Why wouldn’t I be smart and have a shitty sleep schedule?”

She starts to protest, and he pulls out the reheated take out from the microwave.

“And for the record, I do eat.”

Exiting the kitchen quickly and retreating back to your room, he hands you your food.

“I got the game set up!” you say excitedly.

“Nice!”

You take one look at his face and can tell something happened. He sees this, and continues.

“I just had a very… interesting interaction with Isabella,” before he finishes the sentence, your head is already in your hands. You let out a groan.

“What did she do?” you mutter from behind your hands.

He pulls you into his lap, rubbing your back.

“I’m not totally sure,” you laugh, “but I think she thinks I’m secretly in love with her…” you’re both laughing before he can even finish the sentence.

“No…” you laugh, “no fucking way…”

“Believe me, I put an end to that as soon as it started.”

“Oh, I do.”

He runs his hand over your back, and you’re quiet for a moment.

“You know,” he continues, “I think getting our own place has definitely moved up the priority list.”

You couldn’t agree more.

#leo valdez x reader #leo x reader #leo valdez #leo valdez imagine #heroes of olympus #heroes of olympus x reader

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yeobloom · 3 years

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🌕⏳ GUIDE TO ATEEZVERSE 🪐✨

Part 1. { fever series - masterpost }

Hello! Welcome to a short guide for ateez cinematic universe ~ or how I call it: ateezverse. You may be new to the fandom or just genuinely interested in ateez storyline. That’s fine! It’s a little bit confusing not gonna lie, but! I can try my best for you to understand the basic background 🌿

Let me introduce you the plot:

Our world is fragmented in multiple dimensions and realities. You can travel through them with a cromer (⌛️) which can also send messages through dreams depending on the moon phase.

Okay! That’s the plot line of this multiverse. Now let’s introduce the main characters:

CHARACTERS

ATEEZ | BLACK PIRATES

CENTRAL GOVERMENT | AI GUARDIANS

There are more secondary characters, but the names listed above are the main characters you should know first.

ATEEZ: here ateez are a group of young boys who meet at a warehouse where they hang out and forget about their personal problems for a moment.

CENTRAL GOVERNMENT: this government rules in an utopian world that takes place somewhere in the future after an industrial revolution. Because of it they create an IA system to make everything in this world predictable and monitored, the only thing they found unpredictable were human feelings. To stop this variable they forbid all kind of entertainment (music, dance etc) so they can oppress human emotions and make them controlled living machines.

BLACK PIRATES: we knew them as hala halas at the beginning but they actually have a name. They are a group of rebels against the tyrant central government that try to irrupt the utopian world by introducing music and entertainment to the city. They are considered an anomaly and are put on a wanted list, however they are hard to catch since they own a cromer⏳ and can travel through dimensions with it. They were previously called the “black fedora men” too.

AI GUARDIANS: These creatures are android humanoids built by the central government to capture the black pirates and the cromer. They don’t have a face and previously got named “white-masked man” or “masked-clad giant”

DIARY ENTRIES

During Fever series, in the diary version of each album, we get to see notes from ATEEZ and the situation they are living.

Fever part.1 - Every member struggles with own insecurities and personal problems. We know there is an intense fight involving Jongho and Mingi, and later the warehouse is closed causing the group to distance themselves.

Meanwhile, in what seems to be a dream, Hongjoong meets a “black fedora man” who tends him an hourglass ⌛️ and tells him that this item “connects the world”. A little dazed by the sudden intrusion Hongjoong asks for explanation, but “the black fedora man” disappears and the cromer starts shining. In that moment the rest of Ateez enters the room and they all travel to another dimension.

Fever part.2 - Because of them having the cromer now, the guardians find them and go after them.

While running away they meet other characters along the journey that confronted the central government and were punished instead (Left eye + Grimes Siblings, whom we never see in their MVs). Now more than ever ATEEZ are willing to destroy the utopian dimension.

However, the ai guardians find them while they are resting and steal the cromer from them. At the same time, the black pirates are captured too so they seem to have all under their control. After some discussions and collecting information, ATEEZ are told to go to ia guardian’s bunker to get the cromer back. This place is in the middle of an island, and when they arrive they see ai guardians drunk by the smoke from burning memories of people, their “energy”.

- Fever part.3: they finally meet the “black fedora men” in the bunker, they are trapped in what looks like a glass prison. They succeed to free them and get the cromer back thanks to Yeosang who separates from the group to look after it. He gives the cromer ⏳ to Hongjoong but is suddenly caught by one of the ai guardians.

The guardian wants to exchange Yeosang’s life for the cromer. Hongjoong agrees but when the exchange is about to take place, Yeosang grabs the cromer and turns it the other side while the guardians chase him. He breaks it on purpose as he sees himself being dragged to another dimension with the guardians while ateez are dragged back to their dimension.

GREAT! This is what we know from the diary notes during Fever series. But on the other side, this is the easiest part of the story as it is just the beginning.

I think knowing this part is really important to know the dynamic between ateez/black pirates and who the real enemy is here. The rest is still to be connected, although we now know that the reason Yeosang is trapped in the glass prison is probably because the guardians put him there. And in say my name ATEEZ ask help to themselves as Black Pirates to save Yeosang.

I’ll update and change things as soon as the plot also gets updated. And I’m thinking on doing a master post analyzing kingdom performances too, so I’m sorry if this takes longer 🥺🧡 and if I got something wrong I’m sorry, I had to resume a lot of information so maybe I missed something.

other parts for this guide

#ateez world theory #ateez #ateez theory #ateez universe #ateezverse #ateez fireworks #ateez deja vu #fever ateez #fever diaries #fever series #sorry for the long post #but there is a lot of info to sum up #I love Yeosang’s character tho

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fandom-imagines-stories · 4 years

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Part of the Family

Enzo St. John x Mikaelson! Reader

Part 1 of 4

Words: 2621

Summary: After leaving the Armory, Enzo is devastated to find that his family was a group of thieves and liars. Determined to help your boyfriend through this, you come up with a wildly romantic solution.

Note: Besides being in season seven of Vampire Diaries, there isn’t much else of either show’s plot. I just wanted to write a little series that I thought would be both Enzo’s romantic side and the Mikaelson’s flare for the dramatic. So no deadly threats besides family drama. Let me know if you guys like it! (Note: I’m reposting these because I really wanted to just make some minor edits before I finally finish out this series)

Warnings: Lots of Fluff (and some mild language)

The quiet was both peaceful and maddening. You were used to the sound of jazz music in the morning and the strong smell of coffee, but this morning there was nothing. Just silence. You slowly rose from the bed and grabbed the nearest pieces of decent clothing you could find- which just happened to be your boyfriend’s favorite shirt, a pair of jeans and sandals. Your feet made almost no sound on the hardwood floor, but it was enough for Enzo to hear you coming.

“I didn’t mean to wake you, love.” He said, looking out the window of your apartment.

“How could you have? You haven’t made a sound at all.” You scoffed.

“Are you asking me to be louder at seven in the morning?” He turned towards you and you could see the raw emotion in his eyes. He saw you looking and quickly moved his gaze to the kitchen. “Ah, I’ve forgotten the coffee. No wonder you’re in a foul mood.” He had been acting this way ever since he had gotten back from the Armory. Something was wrong, you just couldn’t figure out what. You followed him into the kitchen and wrapped your arms around his waist, placing a light kiss on his shoulder before resting your head there.

“Enzo…” You started, kissing the crook of his neck. “What’s going on? You’ve been acting strange lately.”

“Don’t know what you mean, darling.” He poured coffee into your mug and handed it back to you. You pulled yourself up onto the counter and sipped the delicious warm liquid.

“You haven't played your guitar in days, you won't go out of the apartment, and every time I try to talk to you you seem completely distant.” Even now, he was looking off, not really hearing you. “Enzo!” His gaze snapped to you.

“I’m fine love. Really.” He kissed your cheek as he walked past. Still not convinced, you followed him to the living room where the two of you sat in silence. You took a deep breath, wincing at your own words.

“It’s the Armory, isn’t it? Your family.”

“I said that I’m fine!” He snapped. “Maybe I’m just sick of all your bloody questions.” You scoffed, narrowing your eyes at him and setting the mug on the table.

“You’re so afraid of being alone, Enzo.” You stood and grabbed your car keys. “Maybe you should stop pushing away the people who care about you.” He didn’t even move his gaze from the floor as you slammed the door of the apartment behind you.

Enzo rubbed his eyes. He knew that he shouldn’t have snapped at you. He was tired and hurt over the fact that his family wasn’t at all what he dreamed they would be. They were quite the opposite, actually. He feared that he was exactly like them; a lying, heartless beast who only cared about the ends instead of the means. Looking back at his life only made him see how similar he was to them. And it scared him more than he wished it would.

Bonnie gave you the ‘I told you so’ look from across the cafe table. You rolled your eyes. Although your family and the remaining Bennett witch had never gotten along, you had become best friends with both her, Caroline, and Elena. It still hurt to think that you would never see two of your closest friends together again all because of Kai’s stupid curse.

“Don’t say it.” You begged taking a long sip of the new coffee you ordered. She held up her hands and smiled innocently.

“I have no idea what you mean.” She too drank from the cup in front of her. “It’s not like I’ve been telling you for the past year that Enzo is a total dick who is so undeserving of you.”

“We had an argument, Bonnie.” You sighed. “We didn’t break up so stop talking about him like we did.”

“I always talk about him like this.” You pegged your bunched up napkin at her and fell back in your seat. “Look, Y/N, I know you care about him, but I saw what he was like in the Armory. He was so determined to figure out who his family was, I think when he found out who they really were… he broke.”

“I know and I want to help him. I just don’t know how.” You thought of what your life was like compared to his. “I don’t exactly know what it’s like to not have a family.” Every moment of your life was surrounded with memories of your twin brother Kol, or your younger sister Rebekah, or of course your two loving- but insanely protective- older brothers; Elijah and Niklaus. Your siblings meant everything to you, and it was hard to imagine what your thousand years would have been like without them.

“Try to make him feel like he’s a part of something.” Bonnie suggested. Despite her dislike of Enzo, a part of her did like to think of him as a somewhat ally. She also cared deeply about you and she wanted you to be happy, even if it was with Enzo. “Make him see that he isn’t alone.”

“What the hell do you want?” Damon snapped, narrowing his eyes at his old friend standing before him. Enzo pushed passed him into the house. “Come on in.” Damon slammed the door and followed Enzo into his living room.

“I need a drink.” He muttered, finding Damon’s favorite bourbon and poured himself a glass. He drank it quickly and poured another. Damon snatched the bottle away from him.

“Sorry buddy, but I am not your personal liquor store.” He poured a glass for himself and placed the bottle away from Enzo. “What’s wrong with you anyway? Where’s your obnoxious British swagger?”

“Let’s just say I’ve had a rough week.”

“Ah yes, the rest of the St. John psycho clan…” Damon started. Enzo shot him a look. “So your family sucks. Join the club.”

“It’s not just that…” Enzo sighed heavily. “It’s Y/N.”

“So this is a lover’s spat? My favorite.” He leaned against the table with a smirk. “What did the female half of the Devil Twins do now?”

“Y/N didn’t do anything. I snapped at her this morning after she asked about… them.”

“Let me guess, she wants to meet the parents?” Damon said sarcastically.

“Can you take anything seriously?” Enzo growled. Damon wiggled his eyebrows mischievously.

“Nope.” He ushered Enzo onto the couch who laid down, arm slung over his face. “Maybe this is just your turning point. I mean, we all kind of knew that the two of you wouldn’t work.” He moved his arm so he could look at Damon.

“What?”

“Yeah, I mean, sure it was ‘cute’ at first. The two sociopaths of Mystic Falls united by their undying need for mayhem and death.” He gagged. “But we knew it wasn’t going to last. Her family puts each other in coffins, you’re claustrophobic, she has daddy issues, you had a thing for my mom- the list goes on.” Enzo propped himself up on his elbows.

“You think we should split up?”

“Of course not.” Damon took a long drink of bourbon. “Have you not been listening to a word I just said?” Enzo’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“Did I miss something?” He wondered, fully sitting up on the couch. Damon rolled his eyes and moved behind the sofa to get more bourbon.

“I’m Damon freaking Salvatore! Am I really going to tell you to go with what everyone else thinks?” He put his hand on his chest in mock offense. “It’s like you don’t know me at all.”

“So you’re saying not to split up?” Damon smacked the back of his head and Enzo growled.

“Do I need to spell it out for you? Think about it. Everyone thought that Elena was making a horrible decision when she chose me. Despite the fact that she is in a witchy coma for the next sixty years, we still held onto the idea of spending our lives together. Exhibit B; everyone said that Stefan and Caroline were the perfect couple and they were going to live happily ever after- until he made the dick move to run off with Valerie even after we killed Rayna.” Instead of pouring a glass, he just took a swig from the bottle. “The point is: the world is full of assholes who are often wrong. So don’t listen to them.” Enzo blew out a long breath and fell back onto the couch.

“I suppose you’re right.” He chuckled.

“Of course I’m right.” Damon lifted him up from his seat and started pushing him towards the door. “So go find your hot psycho original vampire and make sweet love to her for all I care. Whatever gets you out of my house.”

“Why did we stop being mates again?” Enzo asked sarcastically when he was shoved outside.

“You tried to kill my girlfriend, remember?” Damon thought for a moment. “Then again, I did try to kill yours on multiple occasions so I guess we’re even.” He laughed to himself. “There was this one time, after we-” He stopped the sentence abruptly, remembering that he was standing in front of Y/N’s current boyfriend, so revealing their dirty past relationship was probably a bad idea. “Nevermind. Now go.” He finished and slammed the door. Enzo thought about everything he had said and knew what he needed to do.

He found you sitting back in the apartment, with an extremely determined look on your face. When you saw him come in, you stood. You opened your mouth to speak, but he stopped you.

“I’m sorry.” He blurted. You cocked your head to the side.

“For what?”

“Shouting at you this morning. I’ve been thinking ever since I got back from the Armory, panicking really.” He explained. “What if I’m just like them? I’ve lied and cheated and killed to get what I want, much like they have to add to their supernatural collection. I was angry at myself and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.” To his surprise, you laughed.

“You don’t need to apologize, Enzo.” You stepped towards him, placing a hand on his cheek. “God knows I’ve started my fair share of brawls between us.” He leaned into your hand, the tips of your fingers tangling in his hair. It took all of his strength to pull away and continue.

“I haven’t finished.” He paced across the room and your hand fell to your side. “I’m not going to be able to just move past this. I need time. I need to try and figure out what I’m supposed to do now.”

“I know.” You interjected. “I want to help you, Enzo. I want to help you get through all of this.”

“No.” He said bluntly. “I need to do this on my own.” You thought that you could let it go. That you could let him go off on his own to figure things out by himself. But you couldn’t.

“No you don’t.” You snapped. “Enzo, you don’t have to do this alone.”

“It is my family. I need to do this.”

“They may be your blood, but they are not your family.” You put your hands on either side of his face. His eyes were glistening.

“Then I shall never have one?” His expression was so sad, it crushed you. One solution came to mind and it made your body shiver with nerves.

“If you want a family…” You paused and studied him. You knew that you wanted this, but would he? “Become part of mine.” His puzzled expression pushed you further. “Your whole life, you’ve been wanting to be a part of something. You’ve wanted a place to belong. I can give that to you.”

“Y/N, what are you saying.”

“I’m saying,” you took a deep breath. “Lorenzo St. John… Will you marry me?” His eyes went wide and for a moment your heart sank. But then he smiled, sending a bright feeling through you, like a ball of light traveling through your veins.

“Are you serious?” He asked and you nodded. He lifted you off the ground, spinning around and laughing. “Yes. Of course yes!” Your lips collided as you continued to spin. He set you down on your feet, your arms still draped around his neck. “Though you have robbed me of making the large romantic gesture of proposing.”

“Well,” you grinned, taking his hand. “Let me make it up to you.”

You curled your toes around the bedsheets and released them, feeling the breeze come in from the open window. You felt a hand playing with your hair and you turned to face Enzo. He twisted a strand around his finger then pushed it away from your face.

“Hello love.” He purred, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. You sighed with content. He wrapped his arms around you and you laid your head on his chest. The moment couldn’t be more perfect. Until you realized…

“You’re going to have to meet them.” You blurted suddenly. He pulled away so he could look at you.

“What?”

“My siblings. You’re going to have to meet them.” He chuckled.

“You’re worried about that?”

“Yes!” You exclaimed. “I would like to be married in New Orleans, since it is the closest thing I’ve had to having a real home.”

“That’s perfectly fine with me.” He said, pulling you into his arms again. You pushed away and sat up.

“I don’t think you understand. We’re not...” You paused to search for the right word. “Normal. Nor are they very hospitable when it comes to strangers.” He sat up next to you, his fingers drawing circles on your back. “We need a plan.”

“I highly doubt-” He started but you cut him off.

“Freya will probably be defensive at first, but if you do nothing to threaten us, she’ll warm up to you. Rebekah will try and get you to give her a reason to hate you, so you’ll have to make sure to be careful. Eventually she’ll accept us since she’s always been a sucker for a good romance. Kol will be fine with anything that brings a party.” You turned to face him, a very serious look on your face. “Elijah is the one you want to impress. He’s the only one who can stop Klaus from killing you.”

“Stop Klaus from doing what?” Enzo exclaimed.

“Niklaus is very temperamental when it comes to his sibling’s relationships with other people. He always fears that we will abandon him for somebody else. So when he discovers a romance, it is rare that our significant others survive the encounter.”

“And you want me to meet him?” He scoffed. “And then tell him we’re getting married.” You snatched up Enzo’s shirt that you had worn earlier from the bedpost.

“My siblings being a part of our wedding is really important to me Enzo. Even the ones with murderous tendencies.” You left out the fact that all of you tended to go on killing sprees from time to time- yourself included. He sighed and pulled you in for a long, passionate kiss.

“Well if I am killed because I love you it will have been worth it.” You pouted your lips sarcastically.

“You’re so sweet.” You said, pressing your lips to his again, but pushing away quickly. “We’re still going.” He groaned and fell back on the bed. You rolled your eyes and located the rest of your clothes, barely able to contain the turning bundle of excitement and nerves rolling around your stomach. It was time to go home.

Keeping Reading to: Meet the Mikaelsons

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination; @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado; @suckmyapplejacks

#lorenzo st john #repost #enzo and the originals #klaus mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #damon salvatore #enzo st. john x reader #michael malarkey #vampire diaries #the originals

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shawnsprincesse · 3 years

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When life throws you lemons Part 12 (Shawn Mendes AU)

When life throws you lemons, you’re forced to deal with Shawn Mendes. Before moving in with five guys, including Shawn Mendes, Kylie swore she would never ever in her life allow Shawn to get anywhere near her but things quickly change and soon she finds herself drunkenly kissing him in a bathroom. What starts as a drunken kiss turns into a passionate secret relationship.

I debated whether I wanted to go to Trader Joe’s or Ralphs as I walked down the street, listing the things I needed to buy in my head. I had been putting off buying groceries for like a week due to my move. Cooking has never been a favorite chore of mine and neither is grocery shopping but it has to be done so I might as well get it over with.

I think I would enjoy cooking a lot more if I had someone to cook with, or for. I remember living at home with my mom and us cooking together and enjoying it. It didn’t feel like a chore back then. We would put on some music and sing loudly together as we cooked for an hour or baked some good pastries. I don’t think I’ve ever baked or made a stew since I moved out. I barely make myself a salad these days. I know I probably should eat more fresh groceries but what’s the point of cutting up an entire salad if you’re gonna be the only one eating it, might as well buy a pre-made one or order one through Uber eats.

I guess part of the reason why I haven’t been making anything more complicated than lasagna was also because I had to do my own dishes. There was no room for a dishwasher in my tiny studio apartment and having to clean up after a long cooking process is just exhausting. Although, I got a feeling I won’t be whipping out any cooking books anytime soon, even though Harry’s house has a dishwasher.

After walking for a few minutes I decided that Trader Joe’s would be my grocery store of choice this time. I usually prefer to buy groceries on a weekly basis because I hate buying them but that was before, when I lived like three blocks away from a Ralphs. Now I didn’t have that luxury and since my arms were numb from carrying all my stuff earlier, I would probably have to make this a smaller trip.

I would buy myself a used car but it just isn’t worth it when you live in LA. Most people have a decent grocery store within a few blocks and there’s plenty of places to shop and if you want to go out of town there’s great public transportation but the idea of having my own car and being able to drive out to a Target is definitely appealing. I love shopping large packs at Target. I could spend hours in there browsing through every single aisle and whenever I do go, I bring home ten bags filled with shit I definitely didn’t need or come there for.

I grabbed myself a basket as I entered the Trader Joe’s store. I always pick a basket instead of a cart, that way I won’t over buy things and struggle to carry them home. Inside the little gates of the store, there was a large rack of flowers. I stopped as a pink bouquet of lilies caught my eye. Maybe I should buy myself some flowers to make my room feel more homey. I picked up the 5 dollar bouquet, deciding that it would be a small move-in gift for myself.

I continued down the first aisle, sighing as I picked up a pre-made salad from the shelf. I knew I’d just cursed myself for my laziness on the walk over here and that I should probably start changing my habits today, but I really didn’t feel like it. Instead of changing my habits I continued down the aisle filled with pre-made meals, picking up a pack of 12 pieces of Sushi for dinner and three different fruit cups for a dollar fifty each. I cursed myself as I put the tiny cups into my basket, knowing fully well that I could just buy the different fruits and cut them up myself for a much cheaper price but so what, I’m lazy, sue me.

I picked up a pack of bagels and some cream cheese by the diary shelves, a large jug of almond milk and some coffee creamer. The basket was already starting to get heavy, indicating that I should probably make my way towards the cash register. I grabbed some butter and stopped in front of the yogurt shelf, debating what flavor I wanted this time.

”If I were you, I’d go for vanilla.” I heard a familiar voice behind me and I let out a noticeably loud sigh as I turned around.

”Are you stalking me now?” I asked as I faced the tall figure behind me. ”Should I call the cops?” My voice a little too loud as a random middle aged woman next too me gave me a concerned look.

”I figured you’d need a ride home.” Shawn replied with a shrug.

”How’d you know I was here?” I asked confused as I put the vanilla yogurt into my basket.

”Lucky guess.” Shawn shrugged again as if it was no big deal.

”Mhm…” I reached for my basket as I moved towards the next aisle. I wasn’t sure I believed him but what difference would it make.

”Aww, you got me flowers?” Shawn cooed as he noticed the bouquet of lilies in my basket.

”I bought them for myself.” I replied as I walked down the aisle. If Shawn was actually going to offer me a ride home then I might as well stack up.

”Too bad, I wanted flowers.” Shawn pouted as he stood next to me, observing my every move as I moved around the shelf.

”You’re not getting anything after your little innuendos at the table.” I said as I stared back at Shawn, the soft pout on his lips increasing as I walked past him.

”C’mon, I’m allowed to have some fun with it.” Shawn cooed as he walked behind me.

”No you’re not, cause I’m gonna kill you if anyone finds out.” I argued as I grabbed a large packet of spaghetti.

”No one’s gonna find out Kylie.” Shawn tried to reassure me.

”They are, if you won’t shut up.” I argued back.

”You think those four idiots are smart enough to figure anything out?” Shawn laughed behind me as he watched me scan the shelf for spaghetti sauce, once again I should probably make my own spaghetti sauce and not buy a pre-made one but who fucking cares.

”Mm true.” I released a chuckle. Harry and his roommates may have been smart enough to get into UCLA but they were also boys and boys are extremely dumb when it comes to taking a hint. ”So are you actually gonna give me a ride home or are you just here to stalk me?” I asked as I turned around to face Shawn’s tall figure.

”Depends, are you gonna make me enter through the window?” Shawn asked as he raised an eyebrow at me.

”If you help me carry my groceries, you can come through the front door.” I released a soft giggle as I walked back towards the entrance of the store to grab myself one of the empty carts, ready to fill it up to the brim now that I had a ride.

”I will.” Shawn chuckled as he watched me dump my basket into the cart. He was being uncharacteristically nice to me and I kind of liked it. Shawn followed me as I walked back through the first aisle of the store towards the dairy section. Thanks to him, I could now stock up with eggs, more almond milk and butter. I switched out the small coffee creamer for a big pack and moved back towards the pasta aisle.

I leaned against the cart as I slowly picked up whatever looked good from the shelf, tossing it into the cart. I stopped by the freezers to pick up some fish and meat products before moving towards the candy and liquor section. Shawn followed me in silence like a patient dog following its owner.

I stood on my tippy toes as I tried to reach my favorite chocolate on one of the top shelves. My fingers tapped against the metal shelf as I tried to push one of the bars down into my cart but I couldn’t reach it properly. Suddenly Shawn was gone as I looked around me, hoping that he would be able to get the chocolate down for me. A few seconds later he returned with a six pack of beer. He released a chuckle as he watched me struggle to reach the chocolate.

”You almost got it.” Shawn cooed teasingly as he watched my fingers strain towards the chocolate bar.

”Or you could just help me.” I shot him a glare as he stood next to me, waiting for me to give in.

”What’s the magic word?” Shawn sing-sang as he grabbed one of the chocolate bars and held it just out of my reach. I rolled my eyes at him as I stood back down on my feet, defeated.

”Please.” I groaned as I watched him slowly lower his hand allowing me to reach for the candy. An amused smile crossed Shawn’s lips as I snatched the chocolate out of his hand. His eyes giving me a playful gaze as I threw the chocolate into my cart.

”Where’s my thank you?” Shawn asked teasingly as he followed me towards the drinks section. I grabbed a large pack of water, leaning over my cart to make room for them. I was about to choke out a thank you as I felt Shawn brush against my body, his hands gently grabbing me by my hips as I leaned over the cart. My shirt had hiked up my waist and I could feel his warm fingertips against my bare skin as he teasingly squeezed me.

I was quick to stand back up properly, shooting him a serious glare as I turned around, trapped between my own cart and his tall figure. I tried to escape through either side but his lips quickly latched onto mine and I was swiftly caught up in the magical spell that he had on me. I’d never been much of public affection kind of person but for some reason I kissed him back. It was like I forgot all my morals when I was around him and I wasn’t sure whether that was a bad sign or liberating.

”Thank you.” I whispered defeated as he broke away form the kiss before I could get completely carried away in the middle of the store.

After retrieving a large pack of coca cola cans I made my way towards the cash register. Hopefully, this would last me for a while and I wouldn’t have to deal with grocery shopping for a week or two.

”Do you have an ID?” The cashier asked as he scanned the six pack of beer.

”Uhm-” I paused as I looked through my wallet.

”I got it.” Shawn said as he handed the cashier his ID.

”Alright, your total comes up to 68,45.” The cashier informed, his gaze shifting towards Shawn since he was the one who’d handed him the ID. I was about to pull out my debit card but Shawn was quicker, handing the cashier his card instead.

”What are you doing?” I asked as I stared at Shawn confused.

”I’m paying.” Shawn mockingly matched my confusion as he stared at me as if it was obvious.

”You don’t have to do that…” I said as I watched the cashier bag up my groceries and put them back into my cart.

”I know.” Shawn brushed it off as if it was no big deal. I stood confused as I watched the cashier place the final bag into my cart, I don’t think someone’s ever paid for my groceries, except maybe my mom.

”I don’t know what you’re trying to do but if this is some kind of you-can-repay-me-later porn scenario…” I chimed as me and Shawn walked out of the store towards his black sedan. Shawn released a chuckle as he retrieve his car keys from his back pocket.

”I mean, if that’s what you’re into…” Shawn grinned suggestively as he walked by me, reaching for the trunk of his car.

”I’m not. I’m just saying…” I said as I helped Shawn load the car with my groceries.

”I mean, I wouldn’t say no to a quickie before we go home.” Shawn grinned as he shut the trunk and I shook my head at him.

”You wanna fuck in a trader joe’s parking lot?” I furrowed my eyebrows skeptically.

”I got my windows tinted for a reason.” Shawn pointed out as he opened the door to the driver’s seat.

”Ew.” I groaned as I opened the passenger door. ”I don’t even wanna know what this car has witnessed.” I gave Shawn a disgusted look.

”Well, if we’re not gonna fuck you could just blow me on the way home.” Shawn suggested with a grin as he pressed the key into the ignition.

”Yeah because the drive home is so long…” I rolled my eyes as I looked out of the front window.

”I could take a detour, just for you.” Shawn winked at me as he drove towards the exit of the parking lot.

”I’m not sure you could last more than a minute anyway, so what’s the point.” I teased as I leaned back in my seat.

”I’d love for you to prove me wrong.” Shawn grinned as he placed one hand on the steering wheel and another of the arm rest.

”Hmm, not today.” I released a soft chuckle as my gaze shifted towards the steering wheel.

”Too bad.” Shawn said defeated. I watched as his chocolate brown eyes focused on the view in front of him, my eyes slowly trailing from his face down his figure as I sat in silence. Although the distance was short, the drive home took a few minutes due to traffic. I spent the entire drive home trying to figure out why Shawn would pay for my groceries. I couldn’t come up with a single reason besides him being nice and that reason was absurd. He’s never been nice in his entire life or at least that I know of.

Shawn parked the car outside our house and I jumped out to open the front door before retrieving my grocery bags. I realized as we carried the food inside that I wasn’t sure where to store it all and if there was even enough room. I was pleasantly surprised when Shawn showed me how empty the pantry was and I released a chuckle to myself as I realized that I hadn’t taken into consideration that all of my roommates are boys and hate cooking even more than I do. I guess I would fit in perfectly here.

”Since you’re the last one in you get the bottom shelf.” Shawn said as he opened the fridge and shoved the six pack of beer onto his own shelf. ”It’s only fair since you’re the shortest one of us.” Shawn laughed as I walked over to the fridge and bent down to place my groceries on the bottom shelf. ”And because I like watching you bend over.” Shawn added as he reached over towards my butt to grope me.

”I swear to God.” I muttered to myself, trying to contain myself as I placed the giant jugs of almond milk in the fridge. ”I’m just gonna let that one slip because you were nice enough to pay for my groceries, but next time I’ll kill you.” I said as I stood back up to face Shawn.

”The amount of death threats I’ve received since you moved in here is alarming.” Shawn said as he looked at me. ”Maybe I should be calling the cops on you.” Shawn pointed out with a chuckle.

”That’s because you keep doing things that makes me wanna kill you.” I argued as I put the rest of my groceries into the large pantry.

”Like what? Make you come?” Shawn raised his eyebrow at me as he cocked his head to the side, grinning while waiting for me to reply.

”I’m done with you.” I moaned as I reached for the last item in my bags, the beautiful pink lilies I’d bought for myself. I looked through the cabinets and realized that there was no vase. I should’ve figured since this house is occupied by five boys but I was stupid enough to not think that far while I was at the store. I grabbed a tall glass as a replacement and filled it up with water, carrying the flowers back into my room and placing them on the window shelf in front of my desk.

Shawn followed me into my room as if he had nothing better to do. He casually plopped down on top of my bed as he watched me arrange the flowers in the large glass. They hadn’t fulled bloomed yet and were hanging slightly over the edge of the glass. I definitely wanted to go and get some more colorful and fun plants for my window shelf because it was the only place where my room had some natural light.

”What?” I asked as I turned around, realizing that Shawn had been staring at me the entire time with a soft grin coating his lips.

”Nothing.” He released a soft chuckle as he continued to stare at me.

”You’re so fucking weird!” I gave him a playful glare as I leaned back against my desk.

”It’s just that I’ve never seen someone put their flowers into a tall drinking glass.” Shawn chuckled as his gaze shifted towards the flowers in my window. I could tell he was just trying to use that as an excuse because I could feel his gaze on me even when I was facing him.

”And I’ve never been in a household that doesn’t have a vase.” I replied.

”What’d you expect? This house is full of guys.” Shawn laughed.

”So guys can’t buy flowers?” I questioned as I looked back at Shawn.

”They can but-” Shawn shrugged not knowing what to answer to that. ”I mean technically I bought those…” Shawn said as he motioned towards my lilies.

”Touché.” I surrendered defeated.

”Are you gonna stand over there all day?” Shawn asked as he looked at me leaning back on the table.

”Where do you want me to stand?” I raised my eyebrows at him, a soft smile covering my lips as he motioned for me to walk over to him.

”I want you to come here.” He said with a low voice. I watched as he bit the corner of his lip, watching intently as I slowly walked over to the bed.

”Better?” I raised my eyebrows at him as I stood in front of him.

”Mhmm…” Shawn hummed as his eyes trailed up and down my body. He sat with his back straight and was almost as tall as me as I stood in front of him. The air filled with silence as we both took each other’s appearance.

That drunk kiss in the bathroom seemed so long ago, it was a drunken mistake that I should’ve never made because now it was like I was completely spellbound by Shawn’s intoxicating lips. I couldn’t focus on anything else but them. It was like he’d poisoned me that night and now I was forever under his spell.

I bit the corner of my lips as Shawn’s hands reached out to pull me closer. My eyes followed their motion as he placed them on my lower back, pulling me slowly forward and onto his lap. I sat down willingly with my legs on each side of him. Shawn wiggled his eyebrows at me as I scoot closer onto his lap, brushing my butt over his thick thighs.

I don’t know what he’s doing to me or how this happened but I couldn’t be bothered to figure it out either. It felt good and that’s all I knew. I looked back towards the door behind me, making sure that the door was closed before I initiated the kiss.

My lips pressed gently against Shawn’s, tasting him ever so slowly as I closed my eyes and savored the moment. His soft lips brushed against mine and a small smile crossed my mouth as we both leaned further into the kiss. My mouth continued to lead the way and Shawn let me. I ran my fingers through his soft curls as I slid my tongue across his bottom lip, begging for entrance. It was finally my turn to explore his mouth.

Shawn released a soft groan as he parted his lips, opening his mouth and allowing me to slip my tongue into his mouth. My tongue explored his mouth slowly as my hands continued to explore the rest of his body. His hands held onto my butt, squeezing me lightly and pulling me closer on his lap. He tasted sweet, just like in my memory - not that it had been a long time since we last kissed but still.

”What are you doing to me?” I groaned more to myself than anyone else. How had I managed to turn so quickly from hating Shawn to this? I guess I never really truly hated him but he’d always been this annoying force in the background ever since I got to know Harry and now here I was, desperate to tear his clothes off and take him right here, on my bed.

”I don’t know, but I think it’s working.” Shawn breathlessly whispered back as we paused the kiss for a moment to catch our breaths.

”It is, and I hate it.” I moaned softly as I ran my fingers down the nape of his neck.

Shawn’s chocolate brown eyes focused on my lips as I spoke. His hands rested in the back pockets of my jeans shorts, squeezing me playfully through the fabric. I let out a soft giggle as I ran my fingers through Shawn’s soft curls, pushing them back over his head and revealing the lustful gaze in his eyes. A small smile crossed my lips as the two of us stayed in silence, there was that familiar twist in my stomach but it wasn’t caused by sexual arousal, it was caused by something else, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

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asleepinawell · 3 years

Text

Book Recs

I was gonna do one of these at the end of the year, but I’ve somehow managed to read 26 books this year already (12 novellas, 14 novels), almost all featuring queer authors and/or characters so this is already a long list.

Note: There’s a few on here I was kind of meh about, but in most of those cases it was a ‘book might be good but it’s not for me so i’ll mention it to put it on people’s radar anyway’ type of thing. Insert the usual necessary tumblr disclaimer about all of this being only my opinion and your opinions are valid too etc etc.

In order of when I read them:

Princess Floralinda and the Forty-Flight Tower by Tamsyn Muir - Fantasy novella from the author of gideon the ninth that’s a twist on the classic princess trapped in a tower waiting for a prince story. Quite fun. (novella)

The Monster of Elendhaven by Jennifer Giesbrecht - Dark fantasy about revenge and magic. m/m couple but like I said it’s pretty dark and twisted all around so definitely not a happy queer romantic story. My opinion was interesting premise that could have been executed better and probably should have been a full novel to embellish on the world building potential. (novella)

A Memory Called Empire & A Desolation Called Peace - Arkady Martine - Probably tied with murderbot as the best things I read this year. Scifi, f/f couple, wonderfully done exploration of what it means to fall in love with a culture that is destroying your own. More of the many queer anti-imperialist books that have come out recently and certainly some of the best. The second one is a direct continuation of the first. (2 novels)

The Tyrant Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson - This is the third in the Baru Cormorant series (The Masquerade) and was my favorite so far. The second and third book were originally one book that got split I believe and the second book didn’t stand alone as well (though was still great), but the third book really made up for that. Dark fantasy world starring a queer woc whose country and culture is destroyed by the imperial forces of that world colonizing and assimilating them. She vows revenge and decides to work her way up within her enemy’s ranks to enact it from within and bring an empire to ruins. Really really fascinating study of so many different aspects of our own world and the systems which enable and allow bigotry and how bigoted and violent narratives are used to control minorities. This is definitely a darker series and I was particularly impressed with some of the commentary on the racism prevalent in non-intersectional feminism as depicted through a fantasy world. Can’t wait for the last one to come out! (3 novels, 1 forthcoming)

The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells - There’s six of them--5 novella and a novel--and the first is All Systems Red. Told from the point of view of a self-aware droid/android that is rented out by a corporation to provide protection in a dystopian capitalist hellhole future that isn’t that unlike our current capitalist dystopia but is in space. Muderbot hacked the chip that controlled it and instead of going rogue just wants to be left alone to watch its favorite tv shows. Murderbot is painfully relatable and the books are both funny and poignant. Highly recommended. (5 novellas and a novel).

Winter’s Orbit - Everina Maxwell - This was a m/m romance novel with a scifi backdrop of royal intrigue. Generally I’m more into scifi with a queer relationship in the background than vice versa, so it wasn’t my favorite, BUT I think it was still well written and someone looking for more of the romance angle would enjoy it. Has all your favorite romance tropes in it, especially the yearning. (novel)

The Divine Cities - Robert Jackson Bennett - Three book series. I’m very conflicted about this one. Set in a fantasy world where an enslaved nation overthrew the country enslaving them and now rules over them. It’s a story of what happens after the triumphant victory and within that it’s also a murder mystery tied into the dying magic of the conquered nation. It also has a six foot something naked oily viking man fist fight a cthulhu in a frozen river. The second book was by far my favorite, mostly due to the main character being brilliant. My conflict comes from the fact I don’t feel like the story treated its women and queer characters well. Like it had really great characters but it didn’t do great by them overall. That and the third book didn’t live up to the first two. But still definitely worth a read, can’t stress enough how cool some of the world building was. (3 novels)

Into the Drowning Deep - Mira Grant - This might be the only one on here I disliked. It’s got a doomed boat voyage and creepy underwater terror and monsters and a super diverse cast of characters, but I just didn’t enjoy the writing style. While having a diverse cast is great, there were a lot of moments where it felt like characters were pausing to explain things about themselves that felt like a tumblr post rather than a normal conversation you might have while actively being hunted by monsters. I also bounced off all the characters. But a lot of people seem to have liked it so if you’re into horror and want a book with a f/f main couple then maybe you’ll enjoy it. (novel)

Dead Djinn Universe - P. Djèlí Clark - Around the early 1900′s, a man in Egypt discovers a way to access another world and bring Djinn and mysterious clockwork beings called Angels through. As a result, Egypt tells the British to get fucked and Cairo becomes one of the most powerful cities in the world. So Egypt, magic, djinn, a steampunk-ish vibe, oh and the main character is a butch queer woman who enjoys wearing dapper suits and looking fabulous while she investigates supernatural events. Her girlfriend is also mysterious and badass. And she has a cat. There’s three novella (one of which technically might be considered a short story) and then the first novel. You should absolutely read the novellas first (A Dead Djinn in Cairo, The Angel of Khan el-Khalili, The Haunting of Tram Car 015). Super fun and imaginative series. (3 novellas and a novel, more forthcoming)

River of Teeth & Taste of Marrow - Sarah Gailey - From the book description

“In the early 20th Century, the United States government concocted a plan to import hippopotamuses into the marshlands of Louisiana to be bred and slaughtered as an alternative meat source. This is true. Other true things about hippos: they are savage, they are fast, and their jaws can snap a man in two. This was a terrible plan.”

Queer hippo riders!!!! Very much a western but with hippos. Main couple included a non-binary character. Loved the first one. The second one I was more meh about due to one of the characters I was supposed to like having obnoxious man pain that a woman had to take the brunt of the whole time. Also there were less hippos. But queer hippo riders! Definitely read the first one, and they’re both novellas so no reason not to read the second as well. (2 novellas)

A Psalm for the Wild-Built - Becky Chambers - I may be the only person who hasn’t read the long way to a small angry planet at this point, but I did grab her new novella and I loved it. It made me want to go sit out in the woods and feel peaceful. The world it’s set in feels like a peaceful post-apocalypse...or diverted apocalypse maybe. Humans built robots and robots gained sentience, but instead of rebelling they just up and left and went into the wilderness with a promise that the humans wouldn’t follow them.The remaining human society reshaped itself into something new and peaceful. It’s the story of a monk who leaves their habitual monking duties to go be a tea monk and then later wanders into the wilderness and becomes the first human in ages to meet a robot. Very sad there’s no fan art yet. (novella, more forthcoming)

The March North - Graydon Saunders - This was such a weird book that I’m not sure how to explain it. The prose style is hard to get used to and I suspect a lot of people will bounce off it in the first chapter. There’s no third person pronouns used at all and important events get mentioned once in passing and if you blink you’ll miss them. Set on a world where magic is extremely common to the point that rivers sometimes run with blood or fire and the local weeds are something out of a horror movie and most of the world is run by powerful sorcerer dictators, one country banded together (with the help of a few powerful sorcerers who were tired of all the bullshit) to form a free country where powerful sorcerers wouldn’t rule and the small magics of every day folks could be combined to work together. The story revolves around a Captain of the military force on the border who one day has three very powerful sorcerers sent to them by the main government with the hint that just maybe there’s about to be a big invasion (there is) with the implication of take these guys and go deal with this. The world building is extremely complex and very cool...when you can actually understand what the fuck is going on. There is also a murder sheep named Eustace who breathes fire and eats just about everything and is a Very Good Boy and belongs to the most terrifying sorcerer in the world who appears as a little old grandma with knitting. It had one of the most epic badass and wonderfully grotesque battles I’ve ever read. But yeah, it is not what I would call easy reading. Opinions may vary wildly. I did also read the second one (A Succession of Bad Days) in the series which was easier to follow and had a lot more details about the world, but overall I was more meh about it despite some cool aspects. The chapters and chapters of the extreme details of building a house that made up half the novel just weren’t my thing. (novels).

The Space Between Worlds - Micaiah Johnson - In this world parallels universes exist and we’ve discovered how to travel between them, but the catch is you can only go to worlds where the ‘you’ there is already dead. This turns into an uncomfortable look at who would be the people most likely to have died on many worlds and how things like class and race would fit into that and what we would actually use this ability for (if you guessed stealing resources and the stock market you’d be correct). The main character is a queer woc who travels between worlds with the assistance of her handler (another queer woc) who she has the hots for. She accidentally stumbles on a whole lot of mess and conspiracy and gets swept up in that. Really enjoyed it. (novel)

Witchmark - C.L. Polk - Fantasy world reminiscent of Victorian England (I think?) where a young man with magical gifts runs away from his powerful family to avoid being exploited by them. He joins the army and fights in a war and comes home to try and live a quiet life as a doctor, but a murder pulls him into a larger mystery that upturns his life. Also he’s extremely gay and there’s a prevalent m/m romance. This one was a fun-but-not-mind-blowing one for me. (novel, 2 more in the series I haven’t read)

The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon - This was one of those that everyone loved but I couldn’t get into for some reason. I tried twice and only got about halfway through the second time. It’s got dragons and queer ladies and fantasy world and all the things I like, but I wasn’t that invested in the main story (which included the f/f couple) and was more interested in the smaller story about a woman trying to become a dragon rider. There are few things that beat out a lady and her dragon friend story for me and that was the storyline that felt neglected and took a different turn right when we got to the part I’d been waiting for. But, I know a lot of people whose reading opinions I respect who loved it, and if you like epic fantasy with dragons and queens and treachery and pirates and queer characters then I’d say you should definitely give it a try. (novel)

Bonus: I didn’t read these series this year, but if you haven’t read them yet, you should.

Imperial Radch (Ancillary Justice) - Ann Leckie - Spaceship AI stuck in a human body out for revenge for their former captain, but that summary does not come close to doing it justice. Another one examining imperialism and also gender and race.(3 novels)

Kushiel's Legacy Series - Jacqueline Carey - This is two series, six books total, and starts with Kushiel's Dart. Alternate universe Renaissance-y Europe in a fantastical world where sex isn't shameful and sex workers are respected and prized. Lots of political intrigue and mystery. A lot of BDSM and kinky stuff too (the main character is a sexual masochist, oh and also bi!). I first read this series when I was fifteen or sixteen and it definitely made a big impression on me. Same author also wrote the Santa Olivia series which I’d also recommend. (6 novels)

The Locked Tomb (Gideon the Ninth) - Tamsyn Muir - I mean, if you follow me, you know. If you don’t follow me you still probably know. I’d have felt remiss to have left them off though. Lesbian Necormancers in Space. Memes! Skeletons! Biceps! Go read them. (2 novels, 2 forthcoming, 1 short story)

Books On My To Read List:

Fireheart Tiger - Aliette de Bodard

The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water - Zen Cho

Black Sun - Rebecca Roanhorse

This Is How You Lose the TIme War - Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Ninefox Gambit - Yoon Ha Lee

Also, if anyone has any recs for scifi/fantasy books starring queer men (not necessarily having to do with a queer relationship) and written by queer men I’d love them. There’s a lot written by women, and some of them are great, but I’d love to read a story about queer men from their own perspective.

#book recs #books #mp

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ssscentral · 3 years

Text

Traveller

Summary : Jung Hoseok loves you, regardless of what universe you’re in and he’s going to make sure to find you no matter what. Good thing you feel the same.

Pairing : Dimension Traveller!Jung Hoseok x Dimension Traveller!Reader

Genre : Fluff, Established Relationship!Au, Sci-Fi, Fantasy!Au, College!Au

Rating : PG13

Warnings : Swearing

Wc : 4.7k

Member : Hoebii || @hoebii

A/N : First of all, thank you @eatjeanjin and @kerikaaria for being my amazing betas! You’re what made this story even readable ukfhgj Second, HAPPY BIRTHDAY @moccahobi!!! ILYSM HOPE YOU HAVE A BLAST TODAY BB <3 I hope you like this fic, I literally crammed 12 prompts into this fic and made this hot mess in a few hours lmao so hope this isn’t too hard to read sksksksk. Love you lots Lil bean, happy birthday and thank you for existing, you’re such a precious bb, always there for everyone. You deserve the world, love <33 Also the time stamp for the text isn’t canon, so ignore the time!

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“You will be transported to a new dimension after spending one month in each of them for this experiment,” the animated voice crackled from the speakers. “The inhabitants in those universes will already have memories of you to help you blend in easily. You are to live a normal life during these experiments while making sure not to disclose your true identities for that may cause unnecessary complications.”

The voice kept going on about the experiment that you no longer had any interest in after the first few minutes. You fiddled with the necklace around your neck in boredom while you waited for the meeting to be adjourned. This wasn’t the first time you were going to travel between dimensions and you were sure it wouldn’t be the last, so having to sit through the same briefing over and over again felt completely useless and a waste of time.

The only reason you even attended these were to get your files for the potential dimensions you may get sent to. The management really needed to get their shit in control and stop sending you to these places with little to no information.

You understood that these experiments were to test out the stability and how each universe was doing after being created but it made no sense for the management to send out travellers blindly like they do, they could at least provide you with a little backstory for your character rather than a list of ’potential’ places. Even those weren’t certain and that made no sense! For an organisation that thrived to keep peace and regulation of all dimensions, their system was chaotic as fuck.

You only came out of your thoughts when you felt someone nudge your leg under the table. Glancing up from your necklace, your eyes met that of a cheeky looking Hoseok who was now pushing a little harder against your leg, now that he had your attention.

‘Hi,’ he mouthed happily only for you to answer with a raised eyebrow. ‘I miss you,’ he mouthed again, jutting his lower lip out in a pout. You snorted at his antics, coughing to hide your smile when the sound caught the attention of those around you.

It was only when they shifted their attention back to the screen at the end of the room to continue with the briefing that was ongoing, did you finally look back at Hoseok. Rolling your eyes, you grabbed a pen and tore a paper from the diary they provided for the meeting before hastily scribbling down something and sliding it to the man sitting in front of you.

‘We’re literally sitting in front of each other.’

Hoseok picked up the paper and quickly read the content on it before grabbing his own pen to write his answer down and passing it back to you.

‘But I can’t hold your hand right now :(‘

You bit your lip to stop the smile that was fighting to shine through when you saw his adorable handwriting under yours. How someone could be as endearing as Hoseok was beyond you, but you loved that about him.

Wordlessly, you pretended to pay attention to the briefing once more while you slid your hand towards Hoseok to let him hold your hand. You could feel the way his smile brightened when his fingers intertwined with yours, squeezing it gently.

You shook your head as you bit your lips harder to fight the smile that was now on your face when you squeezed his hand back.

-----------------

Walking out of the conference room, your hand was still engulfed by Hoseok’s bigger one. Your face was flushed in embarrassment as you walked out. It wasn’t because you were holding his hand, but rather the fact that he never let go after the meeting was over. So you had to walk from your seat to the end of the table with the said furniture in the middle of you as you walked.

“If I didn’t love you as much as I do, I would’ve kicked your ass by now, just so you know,” you grumbled as you walked down the corridor towards your shared room.

Hoseok laughed, his grip around your hand tightening as he bumped his shoulder with yours. “Good thing you love me then! It would be a nightmare to jump between dimensions with you otherwise.”

“Who said it’s still not a nightmare to have you as my partner?”

“Don’t be rude.”

“Make me,” you teased before quickly freeing your hand from his and running towards your destination.

“Come back here!”

-----------------

It was the day of action, as you liked to call it, the day when you were supposed to start experiments.

“You ready?” Hoseok asked as he came to join you in the transport chamber.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Promise to find each other no matter what?” he asked while putting his pinky finger out, smiling at you.

You laughed as you wrapped yours around his. “Of course.”

“I’ll see you around then.”

You only hummed in agreement before pressing the power button on the transport bracelet and the world went dark.

-----------------

You woke up to the blaring alarm of your phone, blindly looking for the device to turn the godforsaken sound off. When you failed to find it, you pushed yourself up from your bed to scan the area, getting more irked the longer the sound went on.

Finally, your eyes landed on the black vibrating phone on the ground and you had half a mind to just stomp on the damn thing and break it. Picking it up, you harshly tapped on the stop button and sighed when the apartment went quiet, closing your eyes to bask in the peace.

Wait. Apartment?

Your eyes shot open again as you examined your surroundings, trying to decipher which universe you were in currently. The place seemed like any other average looking apartment in a bustling city. You unlocked your phone when you felt it vibrate in your hand, realising it was a text from someone saved as ‘Chicky Chimmy’.

Opening the conversation, your confusion only grew at the text.

“I’m a student, huh?” You pondered as you grabbed a random outfit for the day along with what you assumed to be your books on the reading table in your room. You then proceeded to head down and out of your apartment. “Could’ve been worse.”

-----------------

Stepping out of the elevator, you saw your… friend impatiently leaning against his car looking at you with displeasure all over his face. You gave him a sheepish smile as you approached him, praying to whatever higher power that he says his name for one reason or another. From the previous conversations you had after taking some time to go through your phone, the two of you were supposed to be best friends so you weren’t in a position to ask his name.

“Y/N our class starts in 30 minutes and it takes 30 minutes to get there!”

“Hehe?”

He faced palm, moving to go around to the driver's seat. “Just get your cute butt inside.”

----------------

The moment Chimmy parked his car inside the university, he dashed out of the car with you close behind, panicking about how mad the professor was going to be for being late.

You almost bumped into him when he stopped in front of a classroom, shooting you a nervous glance before slowly stepping inside the class. The two of you couldn’t even get two steps in before the voice of the man teaching the class boomed across the room.

“Y/L/N Y/N and Park Jimin. Late again, I see?”

Again? How many times have we been late before? Jimin’s a cute name though, perfect for him. You smiled slightly at your thoughts before fixing your expression to be neutral before the professor could catch you.

“We’re so sorry professor! This will be the last time!” Jimin pleaded, fidgeting on his spot.

“That’s what you said last time, Mr. Park,” the professor replied, looking unamused.

“Pro-”

“I’m so sorry I’m late!” A new voice joins, the person who barged in after the two of you hunched over and panting from surely having run to class.

“Mr. Jung Hoseok, I did not expect such tardiness from you.”

Hoseok! You felt your heart rate kick up just at the mention of his name. It’s not often the higher ups make it easy to find your partner but it seemed that they were feeling courteous this time.

Hoseok’s eyes met yours and he flashed you a giant smile, one that had his eyes turning into crescents before looking back at the professor with a dashin smile. “I’m sorry sir, it surely won’t happen again.”

The professor sighed, rolling his eyes when he looked back at Jimin and you before muttering, “That’s what they always say.” Shaking his head, the professor gave a small nod. “Go to your seats and don’t be late again. Especially the two of you, Miss Y/L/N and Mr. Park.”

Jimin bowed before grabbing your hand and dragging you to the back of the room, taking a seat and patting the one beside him urgently. Glancing at Hoseok one last time, you sat beside Jimin.

You couldn’t help but pout at the sight of Hoseok sitting somewhere else and already interacting with the strangers around him as if he knew them for a long time. He was always a social butterfly but it was always shocking to see him get accustomed to new universes so easily.

“You look amazing today, just so you know,” Jimin whispered in your ear, his eyes trained on the board even as he spoke.

“Thanks.”

-----------------

It was lunch time and Jimin had basically dragged you to the cafe near the university, claiming that cheap and instant coffee was the only thing his body needed to go through the day.

“Coffee is great and all but you need actual food too, you know,” you nagged Jimin as he downed his second cup of coffee in one sitting.

Placing the brown coffee cup down, Jimin raised his index finger as if giving a speech. “People need a lot of things, doesn’t mean they have it though.”

You gave Jimin an unimpressed look. “Stop trying to be a philosopher and get some food in you, tiny.”

“I’m literally taller than you.”

“I will fight you, Park Jimin.”

----------------

“I still don’t get why we need to do this,” you grumbled as you stretched your hands and legs.

“Because,” Jimin said, dribbling the orange basketball as he waited for you to finish. “Warming up is important before starting any exercise to decrease the chances of pulling a muscle or something.”

You snort at that, stretching one last time before dropping your hands. “You make it sound like I’m going to exercise.”

“Y/N we’re literally in PE class.”

“And?”

Jimin could only give you an unamused look before shaking his head in defeat, his newly dyed pink hair bouncing from his movement.

-----------------

You were sitting in the library surrounded by textbooks for the upcoming exam when you felt someone pull out the chair in front of you and take a seat. Paying them no mind, you continued drowning yourself with new information from the book when you felt someone nudge your leg under the table.

You glanced up from the textbook in front of you to see none other than Jung Hoseok sitting in front of you with a smile. Just before you could shoot him a smile and delve into a conversation, your brain reminded you of the fact that it had been a week since you came to this dimension and this the first time he tried to come talk to you after seeing each other in that one class on day one.

Scoffing, you looked back down at your book, ignoring the way he nudged your leg again to get your attention.

“Are you mad at me?” He finally asked when he realised that you were ignoring him.

“What do you think?”

“What did I dooooo?”

You slammed the pink covered book in your hand shut, looking him in the eye. “What did you do? Oh I don’t know, maybe because you basically ignored me for a week? Acted as if I don’t exist?”

Hoseok frowned, trying to take your hand in his but you moved away from him. “I’m sorry baby. I’ve just been so swamped with work. Did you know I’m the dance club leader and a part of the student council in this universe? I swear I would’ve come up to you earlier if I had the time!”

“I tried talking to you a few days back, you acted as if you didn’t even know me,” you replied, not being able to hide the hurt from your tone. “You didn’t seem busy then, you were just having lunch and laughing with your friends.”

“Baby…”

You sighed, pushing away the chair and standing up. “Forget it, I’ll see you around, Hoseok.” Collecting your books, you gave Hoseok one last look before walking away.

-----------------

You were currently playing with the dog Jimin recently adopted on his couch when he plopped down beside you with snacks. You had come over for movie night but now you were more interested in playing with his dog than the movie.

“So you going to tell me why the Jung Hoseok has been following you around like a lovesick puppy for the past week?”

“No, because there’s nothing to say,” you replied, not paying much attention due to the energetic puppy that was jumping about on your lap.

Jimin groaned, placing the bowl of snack down on the coffee table and then taking the chocolate coloured labrador puppy away from you - much to your protest. “Stop playing with Doggo and give me the tea!”

“I still can’t believe you named your dog Doggo.”

“That is not the main topic of this conversation and you know it!”

You sighed, rolling your eyes so hard that your head hurt a little. “There’s nothing to say, Hoseok and I talked in the library when I was studying for the test and then had a little argument and I left.”

Jimin scoffed, his lips pulling into a pout as he crossed his arms. “That’s the weakest tea I’ve ever gotten. Give me the details! Since when do you two know each other enough to be having ‘fights’?”

“I-” you stuttered, trying to come up with an excuse. “We don’t! He just approached me in the library and I found him really annoying.”

Jimin gave you a skeptical look. “Y/N… You’ve had a crush on him for like a year now. You find him annoying?”

“Yes?” You answered, though it sounded more like a question. “What do you want me to say something like ‘Oh we’re actually dimension travellers and know each other from before and this is all just an experiment? Don’t be ridiculous!” You rambled, laughing nervously when you realised that you had basically just exposed yourself.

“Huh?”

“Listen! I liked him but he’s actually annoying, so that’s over.”

“If you say so…” Jimin conceded hesitantly, still looking at you skeptically which now looked more concerned.

-----------------

You had successfully avoided Hoseok like the plague for almost the remainder of the time you had in this dimension. You knew what you were doing was petty and it really wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t come talk to you at first, but now you were in too deep to stop being petty. Not that it stopped Hoseok from trailing after you anytime he could, trying to get you to talk to him.

“Y/N, please stop!” You heard Hoseok call from behind you but you kept walking, ignoring him like you usually did. “Oh for fuck sake,” you heard him grumble before you felt someone grab you by your wrist and twirling you around for their lips to press against yours.

You were about to push them off when you realised that it was Hoseok who had kissed you, not a random person and you unconsciously melted into it. Your arms slithered around his neck to pull him closer as his hands wrapped around your waist to move closer to you too.

Breaking the kiss, Hoseok pressed his forehead against yours while looking you in the eyes. “It’s the last day here before we move on and who knows how long it’s going to take us to find each other there. Stop being mad, please?”

Not being able to help yourself, you placed a kiss on his nose, stepping away from him and smiling cheekily. “I’ll see you around, Hoseok.”

-----------------

“YOU KISSED HOSEOK IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CORRIDOR! OH MY GOD I NEED THE DETAILS!” Jimin exclaimed when you met up with him after school. He was your ride home after all.

You only laughed, your face flushed in embarrassment. “Uh huh, how about I tell you all about it tomorrow?”

“Promise?” He asked, looking at you in disappointment that he couldn’t get you to tell him everything right then.

You shook your head, looking away from him. “We’ll see.”

No point in making a promise that you knew you couldn’t keep it. You were going to leave tonight, who knows if you’ll ever come back here or if he would ever remember you once you left.

-----------------

The next time you opened your eyes, you were underwater. At first, panic took over you from the possibility of you drowning. But when you opened your mouth, rather than feeling the water rushing in and suffocating you, you found out that you were completely fine.

“Huh?” You blurted out Your eyes widened when you realised that you could hear yourself clearly underwater too. Looking around, your eyes zeroed in on the shimmering tail that began from your waist down. “HUH?!”

You looked around only to see nothing but water, a few fish swam by you but that was about it. It wasn’t your first time in a fairytale universe but it was your first time being a mermaid. You wondered if Hoseok got transformed into some sort of mythical creature like you too.

“Oh well, I hope he’s safe.”

-----------------

You didn’t know how much time passed but you were still blindly swimming around trying to find out where to go. You had breached the water at one point and sat on some rocks by a beach in true fairytale mermaid fashion but even then you found nothing of interest. You did get to sit and watch the clear blue waves peacefully for a while but that got boring after some time, too.

“I never thought I’d miss wearing sandals but here I am,” you sighed to yourself before jumping back into the water.

You were just about ready to give up and just sit on the sea bed when you saw a cave underwater. You couldn’t help but snort at how similar this felt to the fairytale ‘Little Mermaid’ you used to read when you were younger. All you needed was some evil old witch to be residing in there and a prince charming to drown some time soon so you could save him and lose your voice.

Having nothing better to do, you began swimming down to the cave to explore it when you felt someone grab you and drag you away from the cave entrance urgently.

“What the fuck? What are you doing, let me go!” You exclaimed as you tried to wiggle free from your captor.

“Stop struggling, you’re going to get us caught by the hag!” A deep voice harshly whispered in your ear.

The mention of a hag had you stop struggling. “Caught by the what now?”

You felt your captor loosen their grip around you, giving you the perfect chance to move away from them. You turned to come face to face with a beautiful man… er merman?

“The hag? Evil sea witch out to get merfolks?” the man asked, looking at you incredulously at the fact that you seemingly had no idea as to who the hag was. “Are you new here? I haven’t seen you before.”

“I guess you could say that. I’ve been swimming for ages now and you’re the first creature I found,” you explained.

The man hummed, tapping his lips as he scanned you over before breaking out into a large boxy smile. “Well then, nice to meet you! I’m Taehyung, what’s your name?”

“Y/N.”

Taehyung gasped when he heard your name. “Y/N? As in Y/L/N Y/N?”

“Why do you know my name?” You asked cautiously. Fuck, were you supposed to know who he was? If that was the case then why were you transported away from them, also he didn’t seem to know you before you introduced yourself.

“Princess! Welcome!”

Excuse me, WHAT?! You choked on nothing. “Who?”

“You! Princess! Welcome!”

When you were thinking about this universe being a knock-off ‘Little Mermaid’ universe, you didn’t think that would be the right assumption.

Not knowing how to act, you shot Taehyung an awkward smile, waving a little. “Thank you?”

“You have to meet the others! Let’s go, princess!” Taehyung exclaimed excitedly before grabbing your hand and swimming away from the cave.

-----------------

After Taehyung had brought you to others, you met 5 other mermen - each almost unimaginably beautiful. It was a pleasant surprise to see this dimension’s Jimin, he was just as sweet and excitable as the one before.

After the initial meet-up, you got to know that you were indeed the daughter of Triton - something that had you laughing at the absurdity for a good five minutes much to the confusion of others - and you were supposed to be visiting ‘your kingdom’ to get acquainted with everyone before your coronation and living here.

As Taehyung had escorted you to your room, you had joked that all you needed was a handsome man to drown so you could save him. Which, in hindsight may have been a very weird thing to say from the look Taehyung gave you.

Currently, you were exploring the kingdom, asking people if they knew of anyone by the name Hoseok, only to end up with no clue as to where he might be. No one had any idea about Jung Hoseok and you were getting worried about not managing to find him.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t realise that you had left the premises of the city and wandered away. You stopped in your tracks when a giant shadow moved above you, completely leaving you in the dark.

You looked up to see what blocked the sun when you realised you were directly underneath two ships, the sound of fighting barely audible under the water but present nevertheless. Curiosity getting the best of you, you cautiously swam up to peak above at what was going on, only to find that a full on war was ongoing between the two ships.

“Damn, am I in a Grimm Brothers Fairytale or the Pirates of The Caribbean movie right now?”

You didn’t have much time to ponder, however, because you noticed someone eerily similar to Hoseok going overboard and you dove underwater for him.

“I swear if that’s actually Hoseok, I’m going to lose my mind.”

Catching the sinking body, you almost wanted to let him go so you could swim over and slam your head against a rock when you realised, it was indeed Hoseok.

Muttering a few curses under your breath, you proceeded to drag Hoseok towards the beach close by to make sure he didn’t drown before you could give him a piece of your mind.

-----------------

Hoseok sat up abruptly, his nose, throat and eyes burning as he coughed violently. “Mother of bitch, that’s salty,” he spoke, his voice hoarse from almost drowning.

“Of course it is! What were you doing on a pirate ship?!” You exclaimed, hitting his thigh with your palm.

“Y/N?” He asked, his eyes widening when he realised that it was you in front of him.

“The one and only.”

“Oh thank goodness you’re alright!” Hoseok exclaimed, pulling you to his chest and resting his head on top of yours after placing a kiss there.

“You didn’t answer my question,” you said, your voice muffled by his chest from the way he held you close.

“Hm? What was your question?” He asked, letting you go to face you properly.

“What were you doing on a pirate ship?”

“Ah! I’m the captain!”

“What? Why don’t I get to be badass characters like you,” you whined looking away from him petulantly.

“You don’t need a character to be badass, you’re a natural one!” He happily answered, grabbing your chin to make you face him. “You look beautiful baby, but how’d you find me?”

“Are you telling me that you didn’t notice this huge ass tail I have?”

Looking down at your words, his eyes widened, voice rising in pitch with his excitement. “Oh my god you have a tail! You’re a mermaid!”

“Gee? Am I?! Wow Hoseok, thank you for enlightening me!” You mocked his excitement. You didn’t want to act so short with him but the adrenaline running through your body after basically finding the one you love drowning had your brain going haywire.

“Are you mad at me again?”

“I don’t know, Hoseok. Am I?”

“You know I don’t choose the roles I get!”

You sighed, feeling guilty for the way you acted towards him. “I know, it’s just. At first I couldn’t find you anywhere and when I did, you were drowning and it just fucked me up. I know I was joking about how I’m Ariel from Little Mermaid and I need to save a drowning prince but this was not what I was expecting.”

Understanding as ever, Hoseok gave you a sad smile before pulling you back into his embrace again, running his hand through your hair in the way he knew you loved. “It’s okay, I understand. I’d be worried too if I were you, just don’t be mad at me, you know I hate it when you’re mad at me.”

“‘M sorry.”

“Can I have a kiss?” he asked after the two of you basked in each other’s warmth for a moment.

You pulled back from him, scrunching your nose at him, feeling shy when you noticed how intensely he was looking at you. Grabbing the collar of the shirt he was wearing, you pulled him down for a kiss, pouring out all your emotions into it - from how much you cared for him to how sorry you were for the way you acted. You hoped that he would understand.

Hoseok kissed you back with just as much emotion, pulling you close and smiling into the kiss. Breaking away from it, he gave you a blinding smile, one that had your heart melting like butter.

“I love you,” you whispered, afraid that speaking any louder would make you break from all the emotions that were rushing through your heart.

“I love you too. I need to go now, can see my ship coming towards us.”

You nodded, not really processing his words, too busy staring at his gorgeous face. Hoseok realised the fact you didn’t pay attention to his words, making him smile wider. Waving a hand in front of your face, Hoseok chuckled when you seemed as if just coming out of a trance.

“Did you hear anything I just said?”

“Not really,” you shrugged.

Hoseok threw his head back in laughter. “I said, I can see my ship coming towards us as we speak so I reckon it’s time to leave, baby. I’ll make sure to come visit you here as much as I can in the time we’re here.”

“Promise?” You asked, offering your pinky to him as you looked at him through your lashes.

“Promise,” Hoseok answered, wrapping his finger around yours, giving you one last smile as he stood back up.

“I’ll see you around, alright?”

“I’ll see you around.”

With that you swam back to the sea, waiting just out of sight to make sure that Hoseok was okay before actually leaving.

You might travel to various places with no certainty of what you may face but one thing was for sure, you’d always find your way to Hoseok.

#jung hoseok x reader #j-hope x reader #jung hoseok fluff #j-hope fluff #bts jung hoseok x reader #bts j-hope x reader #thebtswritersclub #bangtaninn #castlebangtan #bts!au #bts fluff #jhs fluff

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scabopolis · 3 years

Text

WIP Ask Game

tagged by @strideofpride

Rules: List all of your WIPs and tag as many people as the WIPs and whichever fic you (followers/anyone reading this) find interesting.

Then, y’all send me asks about a fic, a general writer question, etc. and I'll either tell you about the fic, post a snippet or both!

I have no idea if all of these will even see the light of day, but here we go!

l/v future, lilly lives au: fast (a)sleepover: working on this since august and BOY AM I READY for it to be done. when a friend sends you a request for a fic that features a sleepover plot with all her favorite characters where everyone is happy and bright, what do you do? you pen a 8000+ character study that starts with her two favorite characters estranged. there is a 75% chance that the person I wrote this for is going to hate it, but...can’t think about that too hard. only one more scene to write and then it’s off for a beta read!

d/b, forgive me friend: chapter 2 of this is my absolute next priority. I posted chapter 1 in september when I had a spark of creative fervor, and then...nothing. chapter 2 will feature a derena “let’s actually discuss the state of our relationship” conversation, a furniture breakup, and a very cute OC on a very cute date with dan before hurricane!waldorf blows through and causes havoc.

d/b time loop fic: this one would be so fun to write but feels outside of my creative capacity. I love time loop stories and was inspired when I read some fic for a movie I have never seen and discovered about 75% of the fic for that fandom is in the time loop genre. this would start in the immediate aftermath of 5x24. blair is with señor nostril, they sleep together, she’s all emotionally exhausted. she wakes up the next morning in her own bed, realizes it’s the morning that all of her diary pages are published on gg, and then sets out on a series of misadventures to try and get out of the time loop. basically an extended exploration of what dan asks her in s5: “what do you really want?”

d/b from 5x15 future au, 5-years in the future: after the events of the valentine’s day party, d/b never get together. takes place when they’re older, and wiser, and still best-friends who sort of hate each other sometimes but are also very attracted to one another. through rom-com level shenanigans, dan bets blair to move in with him and she bets him to date her. they each want to PROVE A POINT and it ends in smooches, of course.

d/b post-series au, set that heart free: Dan is not Gossip Girl / Pre-epilogue / Cherry picking from s6 b/c why not? basically is my response to the safran “confidant-esque relationship” quote b/c I find it so deeply sad I don’t quite have words for it. contains wonderfully depressing dialogue like “You know half of Dan’s heart is in his head. And as long as you have that, you have him.” the hinge point, though, is that when blair/ señor nostril get married, dan leaves new york.

d/b s6 roommates au: if this requires me to watch s6 I am not interested. I also have no idea how to end this one. I have dan coming back from Italy at what would be the end of ep 1, he goes to the loft, sees his dad and Ivy, and then goes to blair’s house and asks if he can stay. slowly rebuild their friendship, dan is emotionally distant, señor nostril whispers his name and flares his nostrils a lot. then, eventually, just as things seem to start be good again, d/b get into a huge fight, where dan calls blair out for all her shit and vice versa (B: You know what you need to write, Dan? [She gets up and grabs a sheet of paper and a pen] Here. Now write. I think you want to make writing some mythical thing, some grand romantic, oh please, someone be my muse, because then it absolves you from any responsibility to actually do the work. / D: And I think you need your relationship with CB to be a love story because if you saw it for what it really was, you’d choke on it.) There’s a lot I like about it but, again, no frickin’ clue how to end it.

d/b s4 au, the W arc rehash: this one would also be a rom-com fever dream come true. no milo arc, while serena/blair are in paris, dan gets word that his transfer app to stanford was accepted. he leaves for CA before serena/blair return. the fic starts with that next summer (what would be summer after s4) and has the W internship be a summer one instead and who should be there also but dan! hurrah! All fluff, no consequences, all joy. also there is a scene planned where a gg blast comes through with dan and nate playing basketball shirtless, and it makes blair unreasonably angry for reasons and that brings me joy.

and I tag: @cinematicnomad, @lavellenchanted, @theawkwardterrier, @best-laid-plaids

#never stories #meeeee!#about writing

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lilydalexf · 3 years

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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Audrey Roget

Audrey Roget has 10 fics at Gossamer, with some different ones at AO3, fanfiction.net, and her website. You might know her from her very good fics or as part of Musea, a collective that all wrote fic and posted X-Files fic recs. I’ve recced some of my favorites of her stories here before, including Three Times Dana Scully Didn’t Go to San Diego for Christmas and The Shirt. Big thanks to Audrey for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)? A little, yes. Not so much by folks who were around in those days. I sometimes go hunting for beloved stories from the early years, both those I read and loved, and those I never got around to. I am always delighted to hear that later generations of fans have stumbled across my stuff, especially since I haven’t posted anything new in a number of years. It’s fantastic that both years-long fans and new ones are out there continuing to rec fic from all eras, and to maintain archives for fans yet-to-be born. What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it? What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general? It may sound corny, but the main thing I think of, and the thing that has ultimately been most valuable and lasting, has been the friendships. The feeling of having found a tribe – not just of TXF fans, but of other people who could be as enthusiastically engaged as I was (if not more so) with fictional stories and characters – was mind-blowing. Since I was a kid, I had often mulled over the books/movies/TV I loved and speculated internally about what happened off the page or off-screen, or created new stories for characters in my head. But, except for an elementary school phase where I and my two BFFs regularly played Charlie’s Angels, I hadn’t engaged in that kind of gleeful immersion in a fictional world with others until TXF fandom. My involvement in fandom followed pretty quickly from getting hooked on the show, so for me, it’s all one big ball of experiences. Even as my interest in/involvement in fandom has waxed and waned over the years, I’ve been lucky to remain friends with wonderful people who I originally connected with as fellow fans.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)? What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

My initial entrée to the fandom was through fanfiction. I didn’t get interested in the show until mid-season 5. Around the same time, I read an article in a zine called Might (co-founded by Dave Eggers) about this thing called fanfiction that people would write and publish online. At first I thought it was satire or a joke – the fic cited involved Wilma Flintstone and a polished sabre tooth, as I recall – but then realized this was an actual thing. So I figured that a show then at the peak of pop culture must have fanfiction, and I went looking. Early on, I scrolled atxc on a daily basis and downloaded stories. But I didn’t engage in discussions about the show on Usenet, since I only knew how to access it with my Earthlink email client, and I didn’t want to post using my real name.

Later, I set up a pseud address with Yahoo and subscribed to a couple of email fanfic/discussion lists, and stayed subscribed to those for years. There was also a period in there somewhere – of maybe only a year or so, when I think about it – when I’d often nerd out into the wee hours with other fans via IM chat groups. That was around the time the small writers’ collective Musea was founded, and we were active for several years after the show’s initial run. In the early aughts, I followed many authors to LiveJournal and eventually set up my own account and stayed involved in fandom that way, until it mostly dispersed as well. What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show? In a word: Chemistry. I had casually watched a couple of episodes during the first four seasons, but I’m not a huge sci-fi/horror fan at heart, and the story lines didn’t immediately grab me. But I happened to tune into The Red and the Black in 1998, and BOOM. For the first time, the intense layers of emotion and attraction between Mulder and Scully really struck me – and then of course, upon further viewing, I realized it was unmissable, an essential element in the fabric of the show. As a wise woman once said, a switch had been flicked. Mulder and Scully’s magnetism was like nothing I’d ever seen, and though I eventually came to appreciate the storytelling, humor, production values, and other components that made the series so successful, watching those characters interact has always been what kept me coming back. Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files? I was part of a list-serv discussion group for The West Wing for a while, which was a fun melding of character and plot analysis with political discussion. Later, I got into the House, MD fandom, again mostly as a fanfic reader/writer. I was finding that other fandoms, unlike TXF, were more dispersed, the networks of people structured more loosely, if at all. There were fanfic and discussion communities on LiveJournal, and fanfiction.net was the other main hub for posting and reading, but if there was anything centralized like Gossamer, Ephemeral, or the Haven, I never found it. Within all those fan communities, as in TXF, there were partisans for various characters and pairings, and flame wars erupted over plot developments that outraged this faction or that. One main difference was that those other shows had larger, ensemble casts and more varied subplots. So on one hand, there was more opportunity to explore back stories and multiple perspectives. In House MD in particular, there were several entrenched rival shipper camps, which were about equally grounded in canon, rather than TXF’s central ship. I was less into TWW fic, but my impression was that readers were less militant about their pairing preferences than TXF or House fans. Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

I was deeply fascinated by Greg House for several years. (And the love-hate chemistry between him and Lisa Cuddy was a strong draw for me.) House MD came early in a wave of TV shows centered on anti-heroes, and Hugh Laurie brought amazing complexity and thoughtfulness to the character.

Philip and Elizabeth Jennings (The Americans) are a lethal pair of antiheroes. The inherent moral conflict of a sympathetic narrative from their POVs, and the global political conflict they embody was TV catnip for me. The internal struggles at the hearts of those characters were so exquisitely written and performed, they completely fascinate me.

The West Wing felt so much like a show created specifically for me. I’m especially fond of story arcs and scenes that centered on CJ Cregg, Charlie Young, and Josh Lyman. Though I loved Martin Sheen’s human portrayal of Jed Bartlet, the fact that he was the President always made him a little untouchable in my mind. But CJ, Charlie, and Josh were basically hard-working functionaries who were ambitious and idealistic and funny and flawed, and they spoke to me. What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom? Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully? Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I do continue to think about Mulder and Scully and watch episodes somewhat often. I’ll sometimes run a favorite episode as background when I want something comforting on. I read TXF fic pretty regularly, which can inspire me to go back and watch a particular episode or story arc I haven’t thought about in years. Just recently, I started listening to The X-Files Diaries podcast (@XFDPodcast, @admiralty-xfd), and that’s a fun dive into the characters, and how other fans react to and interpret episodes.

Every once in a while, a TV show or movie – and more particularly, the characters – will grab my attention and make me curious about how fanfic writers have interpreted the original material. Random example, I saw Singin’ in the Rain for the first time in a theatre a couple of years ago, and the chemistry of the three leads sent me to AO3 as soon as I got home. I also loved the first season of Mercy Street and found some well-done stories in that fandom. I usually peruse the Yuletide gifts every year and have been amazed by the sheer variety, creativity and cheekiness of the output. There are a bunch of other shows I’ve followed faithfully, and sought out fanfic – Broadchurch, The Killing, Agents of SHIELD, Elementary, The Good Wife. Although I’ve found some well-written stuff in those fandoms, I’ve rarely gotten the same charge from them as reading TXF fic. Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

syntax6 (@syntax6) – Universal Invariants/Laws of Motion. I’d also shout out to syn’s Hunter fics, too – well worth reading even for those who have never seen or particularly loved the show itself.

JET – I re-read Small Lives Awake every year around Thanksgiving time. Other annual holiday re-reads: Revely’s The Dreaming Sea and Jordan’s Through the Fire (both set at Halloween).

Amal Nahurriyeh’s Casey universe – the rare post-col fic that felt hopeful, made extra intriguing by a kick-ass original character. [Lilydale note: the series starts with Machines of Freedom and has lots of additional fics and snippets.]

Prufrock’s Love – Finding Rokovoko was genuinely terrifying and tender.

melforbes (@melforbes) – Seaglass Blue is a recent favorite, lyrical and bittersweet.

These are just a few (apologies to those that didn’t come to mind immediately). Fortunately for readers, there’s an astonishing number of authors who have written in TXF fandom whom you can depend on for a good yarn, insightful character study, and/or ingenious “fixes” where 1013 went awry.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Probably the two set in my own (former) backyard of Southern California: Enivrez-vous and Ravenous. I’d first read the Baudelaire poem that was the source of the former’s title back in university days, so I was tickled to be able to use a few lines as an epigraph. Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online? It’s not out of the realm possibility. I’d meant for “Three Times Dana Scully Didn’t Go to San Diego for Christmas” to be followed up with “And One Time She Did.” In fact, the idea for that never-finished story was what inspired “Three Times” in the first place. I have a couple of scenes sketched out and – unusually for me – even know exactly how to end it. Every year, November rolls around, and I think I should finish and post it…maybe in 2021?

Where do you get ideas for stories? Sometimes it’s from my environment. “Enivrez-vous” and “Ravenous” describe places that I’m fond of, that made me want to place Mulder and Scully there. “What Not to Wear” has that element too – I set it in Memphis as a tribute to a great trip there with a sister Musean. But WNTW was also inspired by a kink challenge in a years-ago LiveJournal thread, so sometimes ideas come from fandom discussions or even other fanfics. In the House MD fandom, a fic by another writer made me want to continue the story, and the author kindly allowed an authorized sequel. What's the story behind your pen name? I wanted my pseudonym to sound like it could be a real person’s name – or at least, maybe like a romance writer’s pen name – rather than an online handle. I also wanted to use a slightly obscure fictional character, to amuse anyone in the know. I had long had a bit of an obsession with Whit Stillman’s 1990s film trilogy, which started with Metropolitan; the 3rd installment, Last Days of Disco, came out the same year I started down the TXF rabbit hole: 1998. The central heroine of Metropolitan – who is mentioned in or makes a cameo in the other two – is Audrey Rouget, a lover of Austen and, eventually, a book editor. I altered the spelling of the last name as a nod to every writer’s companion, Roget’s Thesaurus. Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions? I have a few close friends – from outside TXF fandom – who know that I’ve written fanfic. I don’t know if they know my pseud; if they do, or if they’ve ready any of the fic, they haven’t said so to me. They are fannish sorts themselves, but not really TXF fans. A smattering of other friends and family members know or could intuit that I’ve been a fangrl on some level for years. My boss, whom I’ve known for about 3 years, recently mentioned off-handedly that she was really obsessed with TXF “back in the day,” and I am DYING to know if she got involved in fandom, but don’t think I’ll ever work up the courage to ask.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now? Most of the X-Files stuff continues to be generously and steadfastly archived by Forte at The Basement Office. The House MD stories and some TXF things are at fanfiction.net; same for AO3. If ever post anything new, it will probably go to TBO and AO3. I really ought to get it all together in one place, one of these days…

(Posted by Lilydale on April 6, 2021)

#old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #audrey roget

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the-bjd-community-confess · 3 years

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Dear 'Anime Bad' Anon: I Want To Help I pity your situation, so please have a list of weebshit that isn't moeified, or wherein the cutesy art-style serves a greater purpose. (Note: though they won't be soft marshmallow uguuuu, they may still have issues in other ways. Some may have aged badly with regards to how society views or portrays groups or beliefs, some may have upsetting content and dark themes, and some may simply not be to your taste. Note: Anime is a genre, not a monolith, and the disparaging stereotype that it's all cute girls uwuing over their brother s-s-senpai!!! is as much of a disservice as saying all western movies are just vapid cash grab superhero movie sequels with no inegrity or thought put into them. There are indeed a lot of superhero movies, but they're not all identical schlock (megamind vs venom vs kick-ass), but even more than that, there is a wealth of creative endeavor just beyond the veil of Marvel's cape: just as there are plenty of good anime if you dig past the isekai high school harem wish fulfillment genre that no one wants to keep making but people keep making because it prints money to a very small demographic of the animation equivalent of a mobile game whale thereby allowing this frankly quite-small industry to work on engaging and worthwhile series where the budget permits, Regardless,)

Mushi-shi: -Pros: gorgeous animation, tranquil vibes, episodic stories so you can cram in an episode between classes or on your lunch break. highly recommended by the literal-who typing this out. -Cons: some themes or stories may cause emotional distress, learning to tell apart Urushibara Yuki's characters is a learning curve.

Baccano-Pros: meticulously-researched 20s-and-30s-era mafia violence with a hint of the supernatural, as a treat, told anachronistically with flair and jazz music. practically made to be binge-watched. the novels are finally getting translated into english as well. -Cons: lots of characters to keep track of, fair bit of blood and violence, some scenes or themes may be upsetting, lots of jumping around between different time periods. See Also: Durarara, another series by Ryōgo Narita with a ton of characters and a plot with more threads an overpriced sheet.

Cowboy Bebop-Pros: incredibly well-regarded, space bounty hunters are cool, episodic series that slowly takes on a plot towards the end, fantastic animation, scoring, and even dub work. -Cons: some scenes or themes may be uncomfortable, some parts have not aged quite so well, the smart doll version of the main character is ugly, you're gonna carry that weight.

Trigun-Pros: starts lighthearted, develops an increasingly investing plot as the series goes along. fictional westerns are cool. this world is made of love and peace -Cons: some scenes or themes may be upsetting, and probably will be. gun violence is naturally present, but that ain't all of it.

Hellsing (standard or Ultimate. or Abridged)Pros: vampires killing nazis. the original adaptation isn't bad, the second adaptation (ultimate) is generally viewed as an improvement. abridged is a youtube parody version that was so popular the voice actors reference it in convention interviews.Cons: a Lot of violence, even trending to the gorey side of things. Uncomfortable Themes Everywhere, but it's a horror-tinged action series about killing nazis, so that's to be expected.

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood-Pros: while the original anime was quite good, the second iteration is a large improvement. does to alchemy what naruto does to ninjas: It's Basically Battle Magic. the plot starts on a strong note and doesn't let up from there. -Cons: there are distressing scenes and themes that may or may not be tolerable to the viewer. there are moments of cheesecake and even an occasional joke or a moeblob here and there, and it's not all doom and all gloom all the time, but this doesn't detract from the abject horror-despair that comes to permeate this series as it progresses. finally understand why people on the internet respond so negatively to the name 'nina'!

[Mod: many more recs/reviews under the break, worth reading for those who like more obscure anime and animation]

Grave of the Fireflies-Pros: you will remember how to cry. it's a good reminder that one country's 'triumphs' often come at the expense of another country's people. -Cons: this movie is incredibly dark, do not watch if you are in a bad headspace. see also: Barefoot Gen, a similar tale but this time from the perspective of an actual survivor from Hiroshima.

Michiko to Hatchin-Pros: an actually diverse cast of characters tangled up in a messy and very humanizing story, interspersed with Shinichiro Watanabe's particular flare for adventure. -Cons: some scenes or themes are very likely to be distressing. can be tricky to find, too.

Mo no no Ke (not the ghibli movie, though it is also quite good.) -Pros: incredibly unique art style and pacing that draws heavily from japanese theatre traditions, every screenshot is wallpaper-worthy. -Cons: may cause motion sickness. it is a psychological horror series, and one that does not need blood, nor gore, to cause visceral emotional response in the viewer. scenes and themes will be distressing- as really, that's the point.

Tokyo Godfathers-Pros: a transwoman, a (self-identified) homeless bum, and a runaway teen girl find a newborn in the baby on christmas. incredibly wholesome, somehow, and grounded in reality, with wonderful animation from the tragically late satoshi kon. -Cons: it is grounded in realism, and sometimes, people are dicks. mild transphobia warning, too, but in-universe- the transwoman herself is portrayed with kindness and allowed to be her own (wonderful!!!) person. still, viewer be mindful.

Kino no Tabi (the first series is my preferred, the second is shinier but lacks emotional impact- in my onion.) -Pros: mostly episodic, very unique series that can be gritty where it counts and kind where it matters. -Cons: some scenes or themes might be disturbing. finding it's not easy, either, and unfortunately, i don't think the novels are being translated right now, either.

Spice and Wolf-Pros: it's mostly about economics. there are shenanigans, a harvest god, and a slowly burgeoning romance, sure, but it's still mostly about economics. -Cons: there are moments of cheesecake and comedy, and moments that may cause distress to the viewer. it may or may not be to your taste.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica-Cons: yeah i know, it's moeblobs. -Pros: you're gonna watch 'em die, though, in case that may interest you. it's quite a good subversion of the magical girl genre overall. somehow volks hasn't made an MDD of anyone from the series and i will never understand how that didn't happen.

Wolf Children: Ame to Yuki-Pros: watch a family grow together as a newly-single mother does her best to raise her twin children after the tragic loss of their father. -Cons: keep tissues handy. certain scenes or themes may be uncomfortable.

Lupin III (Red Jacket, Ghibli, and the new 3D animation are all A+) pros: heist comedy elevated to an art form before half (or more!) of the people reading this were born. the english dubbed series that used to air on adult swim is a treat. cons: this franchise started in THE SIXTIES, so naturally, some shit has not aged well. certain series (fujiko mine) are darker than others in themes and material. the 3d movie that released recently is an excellent starting point.

Samurai Champloo-Pros: breakdancing samurai, a fascinating roster of characters, and a superb soundtrack by the tragically passed Nujabes. -Cons: it was made in the weird era of the transition from analog to digital animation and so the /series master/ was animated at a painfully low resolution, so even if there's a bluray out there (I haven't looked,) it will be an upscale, which doesn't always look the best. as well, there are scenes and themes that may make the viewer uncomfortable here and there.

The Works of Studio Ghibli Oh, I'm sorry, Ponyo too suffused with childhood wonder for you? My Neighbor Totoro not depressing enough? In addition to the infamous Grave of the Fireflies, Studio Ghibli has made a wealth of movies that aren't aimed squarely at the kodomo (children's) sector. -Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind: climate change existential dread, the movie -Castle in the Sky: government obsession with obtaining weapons of mass destruction destroys everything beautiful, the movie -Pom Poko: human-caused deforestation and urbanization is destroying the natural world and all that live in it, the movie -Princess Mononoke: industrialization will be the death of everything beautiful in the world, the movie, with a side of sometimes everyone (and no one) is the villain when everyone is simply trying to survive -Howl's Moving Castle: The Physical Manifestation of Depression is a Liquid Ooze, the Movie, also War Is Bad It's not all depressing, but let it never be said that Hayao Miyazaki was subtle. Whisper of the Heart is a good coming-of-age story, Kiki's Delivery Service is a classic, Tales from Earthsea is divisive among fans of Ursula K. Le Guin but I personally liked it. From one studio alone there is a wealth of opportunities.

And that's really the point. These are just some from the top of my head. There are so very many options outside of the cute-girls-doing-cute-things genre that I couldn't list them all if I was here for a week. Or as Madoka Magica so ruthlessly showcases, even series that appear a certain way on the surface might not be what you bargained for once you look into them! These are all (I think) mostly older, mainstream-appeal series that should be easy to track down, too -- there are all kinds of singular animations like The Diary of Tortov Roddle, crowdfunded experiments like KICK-HEART, Masterpiece World Theatre renditions of classic (western) novels that never get talked about, films like A Silent Voice that confront social issues- and of course, series like Rozen Maiden that helped popularize this very hobby!

There is literally an ocean of content to explore from Japanese creators alone, and it opens up even more if you look into works from other parts of Asia- just look at how popular manwha have become, or Chinese animations like Leafie, a Hen Into the Wild! It's a genre unto itself, with all the breadth of content and inter-industry problems that come with it, and without any of the respect that similar art forms have been granted over the years. The way an entire culture's art form is often disparaged, disregarded, and belittled- and by extension, the way most of Asia's animated endeavors are often rolled up into that reductive dismissal along with anime and manga- is honestly Not Great, and there is absolutely a thread of xenophobia that runs through it. The industry has so very many problems (low wages, poor training, overwork of everyone ever, archaic financial modules, the exclusivity and breadth of merchandising necessary to turn a profit and how it leads to consumer burnout and disconnection over time, and yes, the way minors are portrayed not just in anime, but in Japanese media in general- and how much of that is actually bad (some of it is indeed,) and how much if it is cultural difference (I've heard people call the scene where the family in Totoro bathe together problematic because of the nudity, but I've also only heard people say that from the West)

-- none of the actual problems affecting the people who produce this medium are gonna improve when the general response to "animators frequently have to live at home to survive" is "that's what happens when you're a weeb." It's 5am and I'm gonna point out the problems in the narrative around how we discuss this genre of entertainment because it's important, damn you! Regardless, thank you for coming to my unasked for and overlong TED talk about animation on a doll collecting drama blog, feel free to call me a pathetic weeb etcetera on your way out- but while you do so, might I suggest you also go watch a choice animated series! My current go-to is Bofuri, which is a cute-girls-doing-cute-things moefied isekai series that I refuse to apologize for watching. Be free. (The battle scenes are great and it captures the feeling of learning to play a new MMO with your friends better than most video-game-based anime I've seen in a long, long time. does anyone even still remember .hack? how about serial experiments lain...?)

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #Anime

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hockeyboysiguess · 4 years

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dear winter | c. parakyo

a/n: this one was entirely inspired by and written to dear winter by ajr. highly recommend listening to this while you read. this is your reminder that vince dunn isn’t the only player on the blues. enjoy!

warnings: a little swearing. otherwise, alllllll fluff.

word count: 6K

You sighed as you felt a firm kick to your bladder. You had to give it to her, your baby had great aim, something she’s definitely inherited from her dad since you couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with a baseball even if you were being coached through each movement. You rubbed your growing bump softly, a vain attempt to get her to relax, before you grabbed the full file box. Colton would be upset if he knew you were moving boxes without him. You loved Colton, god, did you ever love your husband, but he was treating you like you were going to break any second. He had as soon as you’d told him you were pregnant. You tried to fight him on it, but if Colton wanted something to go a specific way, there was pretty much nothing you could physically do about it. He was a physical immovable force. You settled for doing things when he wasn’t home.

You huffed out a loud breath as you sat down on the couch with what would be your fourth box of the day. You had been trying to go through everything in the room that was going to become “Little P’s” nursery, as Colton called her. You were also using it as an excuse to actually clean out your catch-all spare bedroom instead of just moving the problem of having too much stuff from the bedroom to the attic.

You sucked in a deep breath before blowing off the layer of dust from the top of the box. You lifted the lid and sighed. It was absolutely packed with papers and notebooks, Colton’s notebooks. He religiously kept notebooks, not a diary, not a journal. He rolled his eyes whenever you called them that, telling you that they weren’t diaries or journals because he wrote anything in them, from grocery lists, to hockey plays he thought of, gift ideas for you, anything. He also refused to get rid of a single one, much to your chagrin, but the least you could do was label them with the dates they contained to organize them. Thank god you’d pulled the label maker out for the last box so you didn’t have to get up. Getting up wasn’t your specialty anymore, thanks to Little P being a little less little since her father was a large human being.

You cracked open the first notebook after shaking off more dust, flipping to the first page to grab the date and the last page for the final one. Colton’s notebooks had never been any of your business. You thought he had every right to his private thoughts, something that had absolutely floored him when you started dating. Every other girl had tried to read over his shoulders, sneak a peak when he wasn’t around, but you trusted Colton, which is what you’d told him then and still told him now every time he picked up another notebook. The next notebook opened with a silly drawing, it made you giggle, but you didn’t pry further, simply adding your label and moving on to the next one.

Your brows furrowed when you came to a notebook toward the bottom. Unlike the rest, which were heavily worn in, the pages wrinkled and fanning out, making them appear thicker, this one was only partially started. The wear stopped about three-quarters of the way through it. You found it odd. Colton always finished everything he started, even if it was virtually impossible for him to do so. He was the least wasteful person you’d ever met. You shook off your thoughts. His notebooks were his business, not yours.

Still, regardless of you trying otherwise, your eyes flitted to the first entry in this notebook. The start of it pulled your eyes in unwillingly. It was a letter, a letter to someone else. Your heart sank and you slammed the notebook shut. No, you thought. Colton would never, but then who was he writing to? Your heart was aching in your chest. You trusted and loved your husband more than you ever thought possible for yourself, but your mind was running through possibilities and you needed to know. When your eyed scanned the first words, the tears started to slip out even though you willed them not to.

Dear Winter, I hope you like your name I hope they don't make fun of you When you grow up and go to school, okay? 'Cause Winter is a badass name

Colton’s words continued and your tears kept flowing.

Sorry if you don’t love it, baby girl, but I do and unfortunately for you, one me and one other person get to vote on it and I’m all in for it. Also, I’m not really sure where I got the idea to start this, but I’m two sentences in and I hope one day you think this is as cool as I do right now.

Anyway, I wanted to start by telling you what made me think of your name. I was walking through Forest Park (I’m playing for the Blues right now, in case that ever changes, so I’m in St. Louis) because I was having a pretty terrible day. I botched something at practice, couldn’t get the play right, and coach got angry at me. You probably know I don’t handle people being angry with me well because I doubt that’s ever going to go away. I found out the woman I was seeing actually cheated on me (I know, weird to read from me, but I hope you stick through this one) and I’m missing my family a lot today. (Side note: please come home more, Winter. I love you.)

So I was having a terrible day and decided to take a walk. It was chilly, but sort of comforting. It smelled like it was about to snow. I really hope you know that smell too, sort of like Christmas Eve, my favorite day of the year, as I also assume you know. Then, it started to snow. It was that beautiful, promising fluffy snow that makes me think of hot chocolate and peppermint and family. That’s when I really thought about you for the first time, Winter. I thought about us outside in our front yard, your mom on the front steps, and you catching snowflakes on your tongue. I thought about how you’d ask me to build a snowman with you, even though the snow wasn’t even sticking to the ground. I thought about you, Win. Winter. Some people hate winter. Some people love it. That’s also why it’s your name, Win. You might not be everyone’s cup of tea, Winnie, but that’s okay. You’re not meant to be for everyone. You’re meant to be exactly who are you as you’re reading this.

I'm hoping that some day, I can meet you on this Earth But shit, I gotta meet your mom first

Love, Dad :)

You placed your hand gingerly on your swollen stomach as the tears flowed freely. Colton wrote the first letter in the notebook seven and a half years before today. He’d been writing to her, the little girl still growing in your belly, for years, before you’d even moved to St. Louis let alone met Colton for the first time. Of course Winter would take that moment to kick you in the stomach. Winter. You loved her name too. You’d been racking your brain all day since you’d found out that Little P was a girl, not the boy you were convinced you were having based on your apparently flawed mother’s intuition, so when you found out Little P was a girl, you’d be wracking your brain all day for both a way to tell Colton and what you might name her. Somehow, even though he didn’t know yet, Colton had already taken care of another worry of yours, a man who didn’t know how to love you wrong.

You couldn’t stop yourself from turning to the next page to read the next entry. Unlike his notebook he used every day, the next entry picked up a few weeks later.

Dear Winter, I hope you talk to girls Or boys or anyone you like

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written to you, but I heard something out a bar that made me come home and immediately grab this notebook. Sorry if this is a little unclear. Dad’s just a little drunk right now, but I want you to know how important this is and I wanted to tell you as soon as possible.

This guy at the bar was being... absolutely awful, Win. This girl was just trying to have a good time with her friends. She was wearing a pin on her jacket with the pride flag on it. This guy started asking her about it. She shrugged, said she was bi, and she moved on. Except he didn’t move on. I heard him talking to his friends, talking terribly about her. He was talking about her sexuality and what it could do for him, how good it would be for him that she was bi. It didn’t sit with me right, so I warned her what he said and she said something that stuck with me so I wanted to tell it to you. She said, “God, thank you for telling me. I’m so fucking tired of guys sexualizing my sexuality for their own sexual gratification. It has nothing to do with them, you know? It’s my sexuality. It’s for me and me alone. I thought it got through all of the bad stuff when my parents kicked me out for it. It just keeps on coming, you know? Fucking sucks.”

Winnie, whoever you like, boys, girls, both, neither, people who don’t identify any particular way, if you know deep down you’re not my little girl, but you’re my son, I’m always, always, always, always going to love you. I will always be in your corner, Win. My love for you will never change. My support for you with never waiver. I will stand with you a pride parades. I will advocate for you. I will do anything I can to make sure you know you are loved and supported and that you can always come to me. I will always protect you, Winter. I will always love you.

If you’re reading this and you haven’t come out yet, the door is open, Win. And I’m standing right there, arms wide open, ready to love the truest version of you, the version of you that makes you feel like your most authentic, happy self. Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready.

Love, Dad

You felt your heart pound hard in your chest. Colton had never wavered on loving whoever your baby was going to be, but this, this was something special. You took a deep breath and looked down at your bump again.

“He loves you so much,” you told her softly as you gently rubbed your bump. “You have the best dad in the entire world. I just hope my genes don’t screw you up too much.”

You flipped to the next entry, laughing to yourself at how it was filled with entirely with car buying advice. Apparently, Colton has just bought a car the day he wrote it and he was keen on sharing his newfound wisdom with Winter. He also talked about how he was going to help Winter buy her first car and exactly what that would entail. It was such dad advice, but somehow it was perfect and it was Colton.

You kept reading, an entry an unknown amount of dates deep, caught your eye. You weren’t sure how deep into this you really were. You were flying through entries, Colton’s loving words pulling you through each page at a lightening pace. This one caught you eye though.

It really doesn't seem like there's anyone for me But dear Winter, I hope you like your name You know I cannot wait to teach you how to curse But shit, I gotta meet your mom first

You think your mom is going to like that I’m cursing in these letters? Probably not. But hopefully she’ll deal. I mean, I play hockey. Cursing is part of the game basically. I hope I teach you well. :)

You know, Win, I saw a couple out at a restaurant today and they were so in love. I, on the other hand, got stood up on a date today. Super fun, right? And super weird to hear from your dad, but it’s the truth. As smooth as I’ve tried to make myself look your whole life, Dad’s not really all that fucking smooth, Winnie.

But anyway, I wanted to tell you that it doesn’t matter if you ever find someone, Win. I wanted to tell you this because I need to hear it right now and even if when you first read this, you don’t need to hear it, I’m betting at some point in your life you will need it. You can achieve every single dream you have without a partner. You can have the life you want. You can have a family. You can make a beautiful life for yourself all on your own. Because you aren’t looking for your other half. You’re a goddamn full, beautiful, powerful person all by yourself. You are complete just as you are and that’s fucking amazing, Winnie.

Am I writing this for you in the future or me now? That’s debatable, but someday you’re going to need a reminder that you are a galaxy of beautiful, stunning possibilities. You are the sun, moon, stars, planets, and everything in between. A galaxy doesn’t need anyone or anything else. Always remember that anyone you let into your life should be in wonder at the galaxy that is you.

Sorry, Dad’s going to get off his weird soapbox now and go to bed. I’ll write you soon. Pinky promise :)

Love always, Dad

You gripped the notebook tightly in your hands, careful not to wrinkle the pages. You briefly thought about how you’d never read one of his notebooks before so maybe pregnancy hormones weren’t the best time to start, but this notebook was for someone. It was for the baby in your belly, so you kept reading.

Dear Winter,

I met someone today. I don’t want to say too much, in case it doesn’t work out. It never really works out for me, does it, Winnie? I hope a) that your mom has much better luck with men than I do with women and b) that you inherit her luck. At least I got her phone number, right? Maybe I can figure out how to sounds less like a guy that really like writing in notebooks and puzzles and more like a guy who is all about parties and adventure?

Actually, no, Win. No. Don’t listen to that. Be whoever you want to be, whatever that looks like. If some guy doesn’t like you because you’re a homebody, reject him and toss him out in the street. He’s clearly no good. Be whoever you want to be, Win. A homebody, a busy body, whoever that is, I’ve got your back for the rest of my life.

(Side note: this girl is super, super pretty and she’s wicked smart with an incredible sense of humor. Kind of hoping this one works out? If not, then I guess on to the next one, right? If not, I’ve got to meet your mom one day, Win. We’ll see when it happens, I guess.)

Love, Dad

Your eyes scanned back up the page to the date. You breath hitched it your throat when you saw it and your hand came over your mouth as your eyes started to fill with tears again. It was about you. That was the day you met Colton for the first time. That memory was burned into your brain forever because it was honestly one of the worst days of your life, until Colton walked in.

You were about to give up. Four cups of coffee at varying degrees of strength had done nothing to stimulate an idea in your brain. Well, it would have been five cups of coffee if you hadn’t spilled the third cup down yourself and stained your favorite sweatshirt that was now a crumpled mess in your backpack. Despite that, you were still face to face with a blank Word document that needed to be six pages long by midnight tonight, which was less than twelve hours away. Procrastination always got the better of you. Today was no exception.

You had opened your day with a trip to the dentist and of course, you had a cavity. You didn’t realize until you got back to your car that your house key wasn’t on your key ring, so you couldn’t go home and your roommate was going to be out all day, so you’d had to post up in your fourth favorite local coffee shop as shops one through three were completely packed. You’d had to park six blocks over because you couldn’t find a spot. All of this chaos had wasted almost two hours you were supposed to be working. Then there was the spilled coffee, which you spilled because your terrible ex-boyfriend had shown up and tried to talk to you. In an effect to escape, the coffee had gotten spilled. To boot, after actually drank coffee number three, your mom had called you and told you your childhood dog had cancer. It was just one of those days. She was fifteen, so you couldn’t say she didn’t live a good, long life. Still, it was a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.

Your music was blaring in your eyes. You were rapidly flipping through Spotify trying to find something that might provide some inspiration. You sighed and rested against the back of the chair as your head fell back. You let out a long sigh and carded your fingers through your hair. Ideas or not, you needed to get started. That went out the window when you saw a large man standing next to your table when you lifted your head. He gave you a sweet smile and a small wave. Your eyes rolled up and down him quickly. He was massive, broader and taller than most people you knew. His size could make him intimidating, but there was something cautious and nervous about the way he moved. One of his large hands was shifting around his iced coffee. The other was fidgeting in his pocket. His smile was kind and inviting. His shoulder were low, hunkering down as if to try and look smaller than he was. It was his eyes that took your breath away for a second, a pair of beautiful baby blues framed by dark glasses.

You yanked one of your headphones out of your ears and raised your eyebrows at him.

“Hi,” he said softly. “Um, all the other tables are full. Do you mind if it sit? I’ve got an appointment in half an hour, so I won’t be in your hair for too long.”

You almost stuttered, but pulled yourself together in time to say, “Oh, yeah, sure.”

He thanked you with a sweeter, wider smile as he dropped down into the chair opposite you. He dwarfed it, and the small table you had stationed yourself at. He was just slightly too big for everything around him, but he didn’t seem to mind much.

“I’m Colton, by the way,” he told you as he opened up a book you hadn’t realized he’d been carrying.

You told him your name softly before you tried to get back to work. Every minute you had was precious at this point to meeting your deadline. Beautiful man or not, you had to get this done. Except he seemed to have other ideas.

“What are you working on?” he asked you after a few minutes. You’d caught him eyeing you as you finally got some sort of an idea, so your fingers were blazing across your keyboard.

“Oh, just this project for work,” you answered flatly, not even looking up from your screen or pausing your furious typing to answer. “I got into this fight with my boss about it because I think her premise is wrong, so I’ve been having some issues trying to write this condensed summary of her position considering I disagree with it. But, hey, a job’s a job, right? At least I’m employed enough to keep my cat fed, the hungry bastard, and support my own coffee habits without a sugar daddy.”

Colton laughed and like your life had sudden become a movie, the sound took your breath away. You couldn’t stop a smile from pulling up the corners of your lips as he laughed. His laugh sort of made you forget how embarrassing what you’d just said was.

“Is he fat?” Colton asked before quickly adding. “Your hungry cat, is he a fat bastard as well as a hungry one?”

“The fattest bastard of them all,” you laughed as grabbed your phone from next to your laptop to show him a photo.

Colton whistled when he saw the photo and nodded softly.

“Put a ribbon on him and you could enter him as a prized heifer in the county fair,” Colton joked, making you smile widely, your first genuinely thrilled smile all day.

“I got him fat from the shelter,” you tried to explain. “I’m trying to put him on a diet, but he’s just not having it. Honestly can’t blame him. Diets are dumb. But the fatso won’t exercise. I got him one of those cat wheels, like a giant hamster wheel but for cats. He barely fits on it and even on the days he finds his balance enough to fit on it, he won’t use it. I’ve sort of thrown in the towel.”

“I think he’s decided how he wants to be in life and you might just have to accept it,” Colton told you. “I’ll stop bugging you, sorry. I said I wouldn’t.”

With that, he turned his attention to his book and you went back to your paper. You sat across from him for the next thirty minutes, occasionally taking glances over at him. You found out later on that he keep looking up at you over the top edge of his book the whole time. You somehow just never caught each other.

As Colton got up to leave, he paused for a second with his phone in his hand, spinning it nervously.

“Um, I know this is probably sort of random and you’re probably not interested, but would you maybe want to get coffee again sometime you don’t have to do work?” Colton asked you, stumbling over practically ever other word on his way to asking you on a date.

You smiled softly as the memory faded out. You placed your hand on your bump again. Thank god the first three coffee shops had been full that day. You gently turned to the next page then the next one and the next one, stopping when the start of another grabbed you.

Dear Winter, don't move too far away And please don't say I'm hovering When I text you to ask about your day I wanna hear about your day Will we still hang out and talk when I'm no longer in charge?

I’m sorry if you ever think I’m hovering, Win, but I promise you, I just want to hear about your day, every single day. Sorry if you move far away for some incredible opportunity and I don’t handle it super well. You know me, your old man, I just want you to be able to catch up with you whenever I want to. I’m a little selfish that way, I guess.

Who knows? Maybe by the time you move, teleportation will be real :)

But if you can, Winter, try and stay close to home. I miss my parents a lot, more than I can properly explain. I know you’re going to be so cool and smart and amazing and you won’t need me someday, but I hope you want me around anyway, even though I’m a lot sometimes.

(Side note: That girl I talked about a while ago, she’s the one who made me think of this letter. I told her I was scared I was hovering too much, that I was smothering her, and she told me she wanted me around even more. I think you’d like her, Win.)

Hold on for someone who cares about you exactly as you are and loves the way you care about people. You shouldn’t have to change the way you care for someone. They should just feel it.

Love, Dad

(P.S. Whenever you read this, please come home for a visit, even if you were here yesterday. I’ve definitely missed you since then.)

Your mind flashed back to Colton’s first road trip a few months after you started dating. You had a busy day, absolutely packed with meetings and work, so you’d barely had any time to glance at your phone all day. When you finally had a second to glance at it on the way to your car, you groaned. Two missed calls and four texts from Colton. Of course, the day he managed to find some time away from the guys to call you when you were supposed to be done with work, you had been kept late and missed him.

You were already dialing his number as you dropped into your driver’s seat to begin the traffic-filled journey home. Colton answered on the second ring.

“Hey.”

Your brows furrowed at his tone. He was trying hard to sound calm, but you could hear the nerves edging at each letter. He swallowed hard, hard enough you could hear it over the phone.

“What’s up, babe?” you asked him as you slowly backed out of your parking space. “Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing,” he said too quickly. He knew he’d said it too quickly the second it had left his mouth. He sighed and you heard some rustling on his end of the phone, following by a door being shut. “I’m sorry I bugged you today.”

“What?” you asked, even more confused than you had been previously as you turned on your right blinker. “You didn’t bug me, Colt. I asked you to call if you were free anytime outside my work hours. I just ended up working late today, that’s all.”

“Oh, okay.”

You could tell there was still something bothering him. His pitch was too high, responses too short. He was still on edge, something bigger dancing on the tip of his tongue. He knew you knew. You could read him like an open book even through the phone and he knew better than to not tell you when he was upset. “Relationships thrive with windows and doors open,” was what you always told him, and it takes two people to keep them open all the time.

“Am I hovering?” he blurted out. “Am I bothering you? I just, when I called you again, the guys started-”

“Those idiots that couldn’t keep a girl if they had a carefully curated list of instructions from the girl they liked to tell them how to keep her? They don’t know anything,” you jumped in. “You’re not bothering me, Colt. You never bother me. I want as much of you as I can get. If my life was you just and me, having our favorite lazy Saturday where we go to the farmer’s market, play Scrabble, make bad cocktails, and cook unnecessarily complex dinners before we watch some niche movie practically no one else on the planet has ever seen, I’d be so unbelievably happy. I want as much of you as I can have, Colt, and sometimes I feel like I’m asking for too much. You’re not hovering. I want you right here.”

“You’re not asking for too much,” he replied. Of course, Colton would ignore everything you had said to comfort him in favor of comforting you. “You’re sure I’m not too much? I can do less, if that would be better for you. I can, fuck, I don’t know, whatever you need.”

“Colton, I love you,” you sighed. “That’s the easiest thing in the world to say to you. I love you, Colton. I love loving you. I love being loved by you. At least, god, I hope you love me back because now I’m realizing we’ve never actually said that and I’m sort of freaking out, but I love learning to love you better and I love finding new ways to show you I love you. Today’s way is actually telling you I do, I guess.”

“Of course I love you too.”

Colton’s words had reminded you of a prayer, a prayer of a grateful man whose longing, desperate words to something out there that he’d whispered ages ago had finally been answered. You didn’t know how long he’d felt it, definitely longer than you, but love wasn’t a competition. There wasn’t a yardstick, a to-do list, or a formula. Love was whatever you made it to be. You loved Colton, and finally told him, and he loved you, and finally told you. That day, that was all either of you needed.

That day was so clear in your mind. It was the day that set your life on the path it was on, the day that really had started the path that ended up with little Winter being more than a figment in Colton’s mind when he wrote these letters. She was real and you were going to meet her in just a few short months. Your mind wandered forward, seeing Winter’s wide baby blue eyes, you imagined she’d look like Colton as well, hoping your genes didn’t taint his too much to ruin her, as Colton had her sitting on his broad shoulders, securing her safely to him with hands around her ankles as you walked through the zoo. She would be pointing at each animal, tugging on his hair, making sure he saw each and every one. He would be patient, kind, and caring, matching Winter’s excitement in kind with each animal. You would catch him on Google the night before, making sure he knew at least one random, uncommon fact about each one for her, just to make her day. That was the kind of thing Colton said he would do for her to you when you’d shown him the positive pregnancy test, and one of an ever-expanding, never finished lists of reason you wanted to have kids with him.

You sighed as you felt her flip over in your stomach. She was constantly in motion, something that brought you peace because it told you she was healthy, but as much comfort as it brought you, it brought you more discomfort at the very feeling. You shifted on the couch as you turned to the next entry.

Dear Winter, I hope you like your name I hope you let me take a shot with you on your twenty-first But shit, you gotta ask your mom first

I really hope you let me take a shot with you on your birthday. I’m asking because I was at a restaurant early today and saw the dad order two shots of tequila at a five star restaurant for him and his daughter, who had to be about twenty-one when her birthday dessert came out. She thought it was hilarious and you could tell she she did the shot with him that she loved her dad a ton. So naturally I thought of doing it with you. I know you’re definitely not going to think I’m cool by then, and you could be living in Canada instead where the drinking age is lower, but either way, I hope you don’t mind taking a shot with your old man.

But, even if you don’t think I’m cool, even if we have to do the shot together over Facetime, even if Facetime doesn’t exist and you have to text me to ask me what it means when you read this, I hope we do one together. I promise, your old man could drink once, Win!

So, go ask your mom and I’ll break out the good tequila for you! :)

Love, Dad

You would definitely have to approve of the aforementioned tequila shot now that he’d been planning it for almost twenty-five years based on when this was written and when Winter would be twenty-one base on her estimated birthday. You laughed lightly and shook your head. Colton was already winning parenting debates with you and he didn’t even know it. Actually, maybe he did. It would be Colton to have planned this all out just so. You smiled as you flipped to the next entry.

Dear Winter, I'm looking for your mom I gotta find a girl that doesn't mind that I'm inside my head a lot Winter, it won't be too long First, I just gotta find your mom

This whole writing to you as I’ve looked for your mom is how this whole notebook started.

And Winter, boy do I have some good news about your existence for you.

That girl I mentioned a while back? I asked her to marry me today. And somehow, she said yes.

I found her, Win. I found your mom. She’s the most incredible person I’ve ever met in my entire like, that is, until I meet you. And, Winnie, she’s so excited to meet you too someday.

Here’s hoping she likes your name :)

Love, Dad

Your eyes were filled with tears again and you were so caught up in the moment, you missed the sound of Colton fusing with the lock on the front door as he entered the house.

“Baby? Why are you crying? Is everything okay? Is Little P okay? How was the appointment?”

Colton’s questions were flying out of his mouth almost faster than you could understand. You heard his gym bag hit the floor and his feet hit heavy on the hardwood as he rushed over to you. Colton rounded the back of the couch and stopped when he saw what was in your hands. You closed the notebook gently in your hands, careful with the soft leather binding, before pulling the elastic over to keep it closed. You turned your head toward your husband. He was white as a sheet, nervousness coating his features. His baby blue eyes were jumping between your puffy eyes, your stomach, and the notebook in your hands impossibly fast. He swallowed hard, waiting for you to say something because his mind was running too fast toward the brick wall of having to ask you what you thought about what was in your hands to actually speak.

“Colt,” you breathed out softly before placing a hand on your stomach again, “Little P is a girl.”

“A girl? Really? I’m going to be a girl dad? Really?”

Colton’s voice cracked with each word and tears began to spill over almost instantly as he sank onto the couch beside you. Hesitantly, as if he didn’t know if he was still allowed to, he reached a hand out toward your stomach. You grabbed his large hand with both of yours and placed it on your swollen belly.

“Do you want to tell her what her name is?” you asked him softly.

His eyes snapped up to meet yours. He took his bottom lip between his teeth and looked at with cautious, hesitant joy.

“You like it?” Colton asked you, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I love her name, Colton, and since you came up with it, I think she should hear her for the first time from her incredible dad who already loves her more than she can possibly understand.”

You reached a hand out to cup Colton’s face as you spoke. He leaned softly into your hand, his free hand cupping over yours, completely dwarfing it. He smiled at you softly before he placed a gentle kiss onto your palm, a silent way of telling you he loved you. His fingers wrapped around your hand, pulling it down to your belly along with his as his eyes shifted to it.

“Hey, Winter, it’s me, your dad.”

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