#i was able to pull a few pieces back together tho and this part was just really funny to me in particular

[lunar-fey]

sometimes i have a dream about a person that i dont know at all. like not even some random mutual i mean. but that i follow. and so could tell them abt it. and i have to fight the urge to send them an ask being like

"hey man. so i, a stranger, just had a dream where i was going to hang out with you and some of your friends so we all met up at someones house and you were kind of an ass at first but then you were like nahhhhhh im just fucking with you :) [note. this would probably be in character for this person based on what i know. but again. i dont know them.] and so i came in and you wanted to like. show me you were actually chill and not an ass so you offered me a drink out of like a large fast food cup (it was a coke) (i dont like coke but i was like wellllll it would be impolite to refuse. theyre just trying to be nice and i do appreciate that) (i knew the cup had already been drank out of but i truly dont give a fuck abt that kind of thing so it didnt even occur to me as a possible excuse in the dream) except it was almost entirely empty which i dont think was like. on purpose. it was just a little difficult to get a drink out of i kinda had to tilt it and angle the straw. anyway then you offered me some weed and i was like ahh HELL yeah. but then irl my boss called me and i woke up before i got to smoke the dream weed. peace."

[madalice31]

It’s annoying that I keep seeing articles talking about Aaron Taylor Johnson and his wife and how they’re so flabbergasted by everyone’s “fascination” with their age gap.

🙄

Like literally she was 42 and he was 18 when they met and started dating. Hell he might have been 17 going on 18 but i can’t remember. On one of his first movie projects I might add, like this was before Kickass. And she directed him in that first movie. In fact, by the time kick ass two rolled around I think they were already married. She married him before he even turned 21.

You can’t tell me he was not groomed. That’s just point blank. There has been a power dynamic imbalance since they got together. I mean seriously, he was a year older than her oldest kid.

The white media won’t drag her like the black media dragged Draya tho. They’ll just smile and nod and say it’s okay now that he’s in his 30s.

But let’s not sit here and act like this shit is normal. Notice how she’s had a grip on his career ever since? She’s literally a director and producer in the industry. She has weight. This man barely does anything with a romantic interest and I guarantee he would be in a lot more movies if he wasn’t married to her. And most likely he would have much larger parts in the films too. Like aside from bullet train, he’s had such a minute part in every other movie. My bf and I would get excited to see his name attached to a film, only to watch it and realize he has such a small role. It’s like they use his name for clout. Like I’m still trying to remember when he pops up in Tenant. And his name is never top billed when it should be.

I think Kraven will be the first movie he leads since the A Million Little Pieces movie, and he was directed by his wife in that as well! She overly involves herself in his career. She claims they “take turns” on projects so they’re not apart from each other for too long. But it seems his career suffers the most from that arrangement because again, it’s not like he’s off for months and months on a project. He’s not the lead! So he’s there for maybe a few weeks and he’s back home. Hell in a recent interview she was complaining about being away from him for 6 weeks (the longest they’ve been apart) and how they were “never doing that again.” This man is doing press tours for a project she has nothing to do with and and she’s coming with him to every interview. Like why? Ain’t you supposed to be home with the kids bitch? While he’s doing his own thing for a few weeks? Oh yes, that’s right, she needs to control everything he does. God forbid he’s away from her for long enough to realize maybe he’s not actually happy with her.

He likes to defend her by saying he pursued her but it’s like dude, you think so? You know what that sounds like? The 12 year old student who was raped by his teacher and defended her by saying he pursued and wanted a relationship with her. He grew up, married her, and got her pregnant all while she was in prison for being with him. Guess where they are now? Divorced. So just because Aaron thinks the relationship was his idea doesn’t make it right. She had the responsibility to say no, you’re entirely too young for me. Instead she decided to just “go with the flow” and let “a good thing happen” to her after two kids and a divorce 🙄.

Please. 8 or 10 years apart, I’ll give you that. But 20 to 30 years apart AND you met the person when they were still a teenager? I’m not tryna hear that age is just a number bullshit.

Smh. He’s so far gone tho, I doubt he’ll divorce her. He might pull a Hugh Jackman years from now, but at least Hugh was in his 20s when he got with his much older wife. I don’t think she was able to brainwash him the way Aaron’s wife has done. Plus Hugh and his ex never had kids. I’m sure kids being involved makes it harder for Aaron if he’s even thinking about or thought about leaving. So I guess we’ll just see how the cookie crumbles.

I like him as an actor, but I’ve always found their relationship disturbing. So I wish they would just shut up about it and be low key. Cause one thing they seem to steer clear of talking about is the actual beginning of their relationship and the fact that he was a vulnerable, 18 year old first time actor when they met, literally just as career was starting. And he’s never mentioned about how his family feels about him being with her. Never even made a passing comment saying that they love her or anything like that. Just saying, the signs are there.

The quiet on the set documentary clearly shows how young actors are not protected. In this case he was legal, so she got away with it. Smh. I wish him the best.

[neowinestainedress]

𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒 — 𝐂𝐇. 𝟔

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 — 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 — 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐗 — 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: lee haechan x oc ; na jaemin x oc ; haechan x ex girlfriend!oc, na jaemin x haechan's ex girlfriend!oc 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: angst, smut, fluff, childhood best friends to lovers, strangers to lovers, exes to lovers, lovers to exes 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: everything falls apart and putting back the pieces to start brand new is harder than expected. but it’s time to move on and address feelings that have been hiding for too long, but most importantly, try to not mess up another time. 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: angst, smut, alcohol consumption, fing*ring, sq*irting, unprotected s*x, dirty talk, oral s*x, switchy/subby hyuck (no dom/sub dynamics tho), hair pulling, kinda hate s*x (there are unresolved feelings coming out), fingers sucking, handj*b 𝐖𝐂: +19k 𝐀/𝐍: this chapter is a long ass ride, so brace yourself!!! listen to this if you want to cry harder in the first part. since we’re coming to the end (and i think there's a lot to discuss this time) PLEASE reblog and leave feedback to show support and let me know what you think! enjoy ♡

Gathering the courage to be the one to bring this news was never in Hyejin’s plans. Her plans were clear, the picture of her future with Haechan had been in her mind for years by now as she added details with each passing day, sure with every passing second, he would’ve always been by her side. So being the one that would’ve torn that picture in shreds in a few moments felt like the most agonizing nightmare she ever had to live. 

But it was for the better, right? It couldn’t be. It wasn’t meant to be. Love meant to be able to let go when it was clear nothing was holding people together anymore, and she loved Haechan dearly and deeply. 

“Hi,” she said, voice barely higher than a whisper, when Haechan opened the door of his place. “Are you alone?” 

Haechan nodded. “Yeah, why?” 

She would’ve found the teasing tone in his voice and the sexy smirk on his face exciting, but it wasn’t the moment for that. Everything they knew would’ve fallen apart in a few instants. 

“I need to talk to you,” she replied, stepping in as he moved to the side before closing the door. 

He raised a brow, staring at her with surprise on his face, immediately understanding something was going on. “Are you okay?” 

Hyejin nodded. No, she wasn’t. “I think it’s better if we sit.” 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked again to make sure nothing happened. 

“Just, please, let’s sit.” 

Haechan hummed, not really convinced, and sat on the couch next to her. 

“I thought about this a lot,” she started saying, forcing herself to look into his eyes, but it felt too painful, and her gaze met the ground as she let out those painful words, “I think this should end.” 

Haechan blinked repeatedly, thinking he heard wrong. She couldn’t mean… “Excuse me?” 

She gulped, lifting her head, and squeezing her eyes to push the tears back. “I don’t think this is working.” 

“This is… us?” He asked to make sure they were talking about the same thing. 

Hyejin hummed, rubbing her nose which was starting to tickle from the cries she was holding back. 

Haechan laughed, it was a panicked laugh full of disbelief as he shook his head. “No, is it April first?” 

She shook her head, swallowing hard. “I mean it.” 

“I… I thought we were fine,” he said, feeling lost because nothing of this made sense in his mind. Why was she breaking this up? 

“I thought that too,” she breathed out. “But I honestly feel we’re not meant to be.” 

“But why?” Now the one holding back tears was Haechan, still searching for her eyes that were avoiding his. 

“For so many little things, Hyuck. But I don’t want to fight.” 

“Don’t you think I need to know why you’re ending us after three years? I’ve already been left without a word, I don’t think I deserve it.” 

She snickered bitterly. “See, you brought the first problem up yourself.” 

Haechan’s eyes widened. “What are you talking about?” 

“Zoya,” she said more sternly than she planned, and he scoffed, standing up from the couch. 

“You’re breaking up with me because of her?” He asked, voice full of anger and shock. 

“Yes, because I’m not crazy, and I know you, Hyuck. I know your eyes when they are full of love, and every time they stop on her…” Hyejin sighed, torturing her lower lip and bouncing her leg nervously, “they will never shine so bright when they are on me.” 

He shook his head, murmuring ‘nos’ under his breath, feeling his lungs hurt as he pushed back sobs. “That’s not true, she’s in the past. She… she hurt me so badly, I…” 

“And? Does it matter? The heart doesn’t care much about what hurts us.” 

“But I don’t love her,” he screamed. “I don’t want to love her, and I love you. I love you.” 

Hyejin shook her head, tears falling freely as she couldn’t hold herself together anymore. Hearing those words, those damned three words she longed for for so long caused more pain than all those years spent wishing on a wishful fantasy. 

“Please, don’t let your fears come between us,” he begged, moving closer to her, kneeling in front of her. 

“But they’re not fears,” she said, “you choose her over me, you don’t even see how much you still want her.” 

“I wouldn’t cheat on you.” 

“I know,” she replied, smiling bitterly because a part of her wished he did. It would’ve been so easy, she would’ve had a reason to hate him, but instead, she had this beautiful thing in her hands, and she had to tear it apart. “I know you’re not cheating, but I know your heart is not on me.” 

“That’s not true,” he insisted. “We were friends before being lovers.” 

Yeah, and so were we. She thought. And only one of us is destined to be more; not us. 

When she didn’t answer, he sighed. “Are you seriously breaking up with me because of her?”

“It’s not only her, Donghyuck.”

He groaned. “And then what’s the problem?” 

“It’s us. It’s the way… I’m always the one making time for us. I’d go to the moon for you, and it’s not a burden for me, but I deserve more.” 

Haechan didn’t say anything, just cried silently. He had failed. He had tried so hard to love her, and yet he had failed.

“And even when we’re together it just doesn’t feel right. Not like it used to be when we started dating, and not even like when we were friends.” 

Haechan kept shaking his head. Thinking he was going insane. “No, I’m… I’ve been too busy with work, and I had a hard time.”

She grabbed his hands. “I don’t want you to constantly be with me, I want you to be happy when you’re with me, even if it’s just five minutes a day. And I… I feel we’re the happiest when our relationship looks like we’re friends. When we have those moments, when I don’t try to kiss you or search for your hand, I…” she sighed, feeling her heart sting. “I’m so, so happy you tried to make this work for us. I… I don’t think I’ll ever feel the same happiness I felt when we kissed the first time, or when you told me you loved me back, but I can’t keep living in a lie.” 

“But it’s not a lie, I love you,” he said almost screaming, choking on his words as tears made it hard to breathe. “I do, I love you.” 

“I know you do. If there’s one thing in this world I will never question is the love that ties us, but as painful as it is for me to admit, the love that ties us is not romantic, Hyuck. It will never be.” 

Haechan didn’t reply, he only fell on his knees, hugging her as she sat on the couch and lulled him in her hold. Keeping him close while her fingers ran in his hair. 

She always knew him before he knew himself. It had always been like this. Haechan could stare in the mirror and still don’t get himself as easily and swiftly as she did. And even if it hurt, that was the truth he wasn’t ready to accept. Time. Hyejin knew he only needed time to realize this was the right thing. Otherwise, they would’ve forced this thing to work until it would’ve torn them down and ripped away even the last residues of the beautiful relationship they always had. The truth didn’t help to make this hurt less. It didn’t stop his tears from feeling like bullets ricocheting in her heart and it didn’t stop his pleas to don’t leave him from feeling like life leaving her. She was the executioner and she had to cut deep. To promise him that eventually, they will be friends again. But not now, not so soon.

“I think it’s better to take a bit of time away from each other. We’re not what we used to be, we’re not kids or dumb teenagers anymore, and as much as I love you, I think it’s time we find our new selves.” 

Haechan sobbed louder, hands clenching around her shirt, and pulling her closer to him. “You want to stop being friends too?” 

“I need time, Hyuck. I need to find myself, I need to find my place in this world, and it kills me knowing my place here is not by your side.” 

“But why? Can’t I make it work? I’ll be a better boyfriend this time.” 

She cried, holding back a sob. “I can’t give you what you need, and you can’t give me what I need. I will always be glad for everything you gave me, but I… I need to stop loving so much, I need to stop letting love consume me until there’s nothing left for me.”

“I can prove you,” he mumbled, sniffling as he pulled back to look into her eyes. “I can make this work. We can make this work. Like we have always done. It’s us, it will always be us.”

“No,” she whispered, caressing his cheeks as her eyes melted into his brown ones, a strange mix of something that was home and something that was a foreign land. “Not this time, Hyuck. It won’t be us anymore.”

“But I… I don’t know how to live without you.” 

She smiled. “You know. And we both know it will be scary but… I think it’s what we both need. You’ll thank me one day.” 

“No, I’ll… I…” he sobbed, lowering his head, torturing his hands more. 

“I can’t give you anything more, it will kill me.” 

Haechan cried louder. “And what am I supposed to do without you?” 

“Find your happiness,” she said. “Take her back, because I’m sure she loves you just as much.” 

“No,” he sobbed, “don’t do that. You used to — you used to do that when you loved me in silence, and I couldn’t see what you gave me.” 

“I know, but I know that it’s the right thing right now. I know there’s something bright and beautiful waiting for us, and if you don’t hurt, if you don’t bleed, you can’t heal and step out of the darkness.” 

Haechan didn’t reply. He didn’t agree. He didn’t understand this. He felt so many emotions but he couldn’t deal with any of them. Too all over the place, crashing on him like a sudden waterfall. And he looked at her, trying to find a piece of what he loved the most to hold on to, and she was still there. She was always there. Full of love, for him. But this was the end, she wasn’t his anymore, and he wasn’t hers. Everything he knew in these past years was vanishing in front of his eyes and he couldn’t stop her. Once again, he was losing whom he loved so much, and he was powerless, watching her go. 

“Do you hate me?” 

“I don’t,” she reassured him. “But I need to let you go.” She stood up and Haechan grabbed her hand, squeezing before she let it fall. 

“Don’t go,” he whispered. 

“I have to,” she said, smiling weakly. “I love you.” 

The door closed, and the cold air of the night sank deep into her bones. There were no words for the ache she was feeling, just like there were no words for the feeling that, behind all the pain, was telling her it was the right thing to do. 

Sometimes the most painful thing to do is the right thing to find a better start. To find the true road destined for us. And Hyejin knew it, deep in her soul, that that was the right thing; it was time to go. 

Falling out of love with someone you still deeply love is the worst feeling in the world. And you can only trick yourself so much into hoping something better waits for you. But when the rain doesn’t seem to stop, when the sun doesn’t shine, it’s hard to look out of the window and wish for a rainbow. 

May was a month Hyejin hated already, the weather would start to get hotter, the library would fill with students studying for their tests, and the mosquitos would start biting her ankles. 

May was a month Hyejin hated more now, other than the usual, she didn’t have her rides back home with Haechan, and she didn’t have her future anymore.

Hyejin never liked having to rewrite her plans. She made them in a certain way at the start for a reason, so there was no point drawing a line on them and doing it all over again. But she was left with no choice. 

So instead of redrawing the picture she yearned for ages, she sat in her room, staring at the white wall, hoping for changes to show themselves. 

If she was a warm light before, she was now a dark cloud bringing her gloominess around. She had to find herself, but that felt so scary when she didn’t have her other half by her side after a whole life together. She felt like a bird learning to fly, or a lamb taking its first steps. It was scary, and the only outcome possible seemed to be a catastrophe.

So she tried to hang on to the other people she loved the most. Going out with Yeri and Ningning when possible, or simply doing the things she loved the most on her own. She even thought about calling Jaemin, she missed him much, but after the small exchange of texts after the break up (“hey, heard what happened, if you need to talk I’m here!” and “yeah, thanks, I’ll call you if I need it”) nothing happened between them. 

“Zoya?” She asked when the bell rang on a late afternoon on Saturday. 

“Can I come in?” 

Hyejin frowned, not understanding what she was doing there, but let her in anyway. “Sure. Need something?” 

The girl shrugged, sitting on the couch. “Wanted to check on you. Haechan is a mess.” 

Hyejin didn’t say a word, she simply stared at her, standing up close to the couch. “I’m fine.” 

Zoya chuckled. “Sure you are. You broke up with the love of your life and want to tell me, you’re doing fine.”

Hyejin frowned. “What would you know about me, about us?” 

She expected Zoya to react, but she simply smiled, snickering and lifting her hands up. “I’m here in peace. Trying to help a friend, if you still consider me one,” she said, eyes moving from her to the empty spot on the couch, a spot that got filled when Hyejin preferred to don’t answer. 

“He’s not the love of my life,” Hyejin said bitterly. 

Zoya sighed. “I think it’s funny.” 

“What?” 

“How we both left thinking he loved the other more.” 

Hyejin’s eyes widened, staring at her in disbelief. “You did what? Wait, what did he tell you?” 

“A lot of nothing, if I have to be honest. He was a crying mess, and then he fell asleep. Understood a bit more from Jaemin that has been listening to his nagging for weeks now.” 

“I didn’t leave him because of you,” Hyejin whispered. “Not only. But you? I left giving him reasons, you left without a word. And left me there to mend the scars you caused.” 

“I know,” she said. “And I feel guilty to this day, Hye. But I was a teenager, I was afraid. I… I always felt like I came between you two and whatever thing you had going on. Why do you think I tried to drift apart from our trio? I felt like I didn’t fit in that magic that naturally flew between you. But I would always come back, somehow. So I thought, fine, I belong there, and then… then we started dating. But when I got the news that I had to go back home, my fears took over again. I was terrified that… I was sure he would’ve stopped loving me and realize the feelings he hid for you.” 

“He never loved me.” 

“I could only see love behind his eyes, and I still do to this day. I felt like I could never compare to you. You were you, and I know it’s such a cliché thing to say but you know him more than he knows himself, so how could I compare,” Zoya explained, her lips curled in a small, bittersweet smile.  

Hyejin furrowed. “So you left? You hurt him… why?” 

“I wanted to tell him, but I was afraid he would’ve convinced me to try to make it work with the distance.” 

“Why would it have been a bad thing?” She almost screamed, even angrier now that she knew all the pain he went through could’ve been avoided. 

“I don’t like it. And… and I feared he would’ve cheated on me with you.” 

“You’re so stupid,” Hyejin exhaled, eyes wide. “How could you even think that?” 

“But that’s what happened!” 

“It happened because you left, because you hurt him, and probably he never even loved me like that, he just had wounds too big to mend on his own and he used me to do that.” 

“Are you saying he never loved you?”

“Not like he loved you. Not like a lover, but always like a friend.”

Zoya shook her head. 

“You do know how much you leaving without a word hurt him, right?” 

“I know. But I also knew he had you. And you were always ready to… to do anything for him, I thought it was safe. I thought a silly teenage love story couldn’t hurt him this bad. I didn’t think I meant so much to him. I thought his whole world revolved around you.” 

Hyejin snickered. “I thought his whole world revolved around you.”

“God, we’re both so dumb, aren’t we?” 

Hyejin laughed, tears rolling down her face as she threw her head back in a sigh. 

“Don’t pretend you’re fine,” Zoya said, caressing her hair back and letting her thumb caress her cheek. “I know our friendship is weird, and I did my best to ruin it, but if you want to, I’m here… for you.” 

Hyejin hummed, turning around, and meeting her eyes. “It’s just hard… letting it all go, and learning how to rebuild a house you thought was your home.” 

“So why don’t you go back home?” 

“Because it’s not mine. Because it was never mine,” she whispered, pulling her knees to her chest. “It’s not about you, it’s about us. We don’t work together, not romantically. That’s not my place in his life, and his in mine. And I don’t like it one bit, but it’s not the end of the world,” she chuckled bitterly. “I’m so young, and I could go out clubbing and get any person that I like, I should, maybe I will.”

“Need some company?” 

“Yeah, why not?” She replied before breaking down crying. “The truth is I’m… I’m not made for that life. I’m not made for quick encounters and meaningless flirts. I don’t see myself fucking around, and then going on with my day. I’m such a… such a… mess.” 

“Or maybe you just have different needs? There’s nothing wrong with wanting stability. It’s hard, it can’t be easy when all of a sudden everything you know doesn’t exist anymore. You can’t be mad at yourself for being terrified of the future.” 

“But I hate being stuck,” she confessed, head falling on Zoya’s shoulder. “I feel like the whole world is moving on and I’m here, not knowing what to do with my life. It’s not even about love, it’s everything. I’ve got my major wrong, I’ve got my lover wrong, I’ve got a job I don’t want and I’m a terrible friend. Everything is a mess.” 

“Maybe you just need to change your perspective. Flip the picture, put on a wig and become someone else.” 

Hyejin furrowed and pouted, feeling like she was making fun of the situation. 

“I’m just saying, were those bad choices when you made them? No. They were right at the moment. You are not in that moment anymore, you are moving on, you are changing, you are growing.” 

“I don’t like it.” 

“I know,” she said. “I spent months pondering whether to come back here or not, and when I did, the only thing I wanted to do was to leave again. But it turns out I only had to endure a bit more. I’m close to having my dream job, and you and Haechan welcomed me back. I’ve got to meet Jaemin and so many other people. It was terrifying eight months ago, but now? It can only get better.” 

“I miss Jaemin,” she confessed, snuggling closer, needing to feel a warm and familiar embrace. 

“He misses you too,” Zoya said. “But he also understands if you don’t want to see him ever again.” 

“Did he tell you that?” 

“He did,” Zoya replied. “Maybe you could start with him, I’m sure he’s a good friend. He could be a big support for you, don’t push him away.” 

Haechan could only remember he felt a pain like this four years ago when Zoya left without a word and left him to bleed. Now he was older, wiser —some could say— and Hyejin didn’t leave him without a warning, yet, it still felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. 

He couldn’t deal with this. The thought of having lost his other half forever kept him up at night and left him wandering in the day like a ghost, desperately looking for salvation. But it was a lost cause when his salvation was her. Living without Hyejin was hard, it felt like he had forgotten how to breathe. 

But he couldn’t rot in his bed and watch his life go by. He had to go to work, the same job that had torn them apart by keeping him too busy and stressing him too much. He had to hang out with his friends, or at least try to, not that he brought much to the table, only sad smiles and lame conversations as he counted time to go back home. But most importantly, he had to fight the urge to not pick up the phone and call her every time he was left alone. 

Hyejin needed time. She made it clear — at least he believed so, the memories of that talk were a mess in his head — that they needed a break even from being friends. She cut him out of her life and he had to respect that. 

But as weeks passed by, the anxiety in his chest grew. What if he had lost her forever? What if there was no space for him in her life not even as a friend? What if he fought harder and begged her to stay? Maybe she wanted to see him fight for her, to see how far he would go to keep her with him. Maybe he had done something wrong again, that was just another test he didn’t pass. 

But he had no certain answers, and he couldn’t find them anywhere, not in the alcohol he drowned in, or the wasted hours staring at a wall. 

He had lost the only answer he ever knew. 

Jaemin was sleeping with guilt in his heart. He hadn’t heard from Hyejin for weeks, and he had to watch Haechan go through the worst pain ever. 

And he wondered if maybe he had read too much into them, if he truly caused all of this just because he was jealous. 

But when Hyejin finally showed up at the door, he felt the guilt leave him. He couldn’t say she was happy, but from the talks at the bar, he could get she wanted to start brand new, and those conversations with him, as painful as they were, were also helpful. 

All the pain and guilt of the first weeks disappeared when they started to spend so much time together. Jaemin thought she hated him, so he couldn’t believe she was seeking comfort from him. And even if it was painful to be torn between her and Haechan (lying to him to don’t slap at his face he was still hanging out with Hyejin was more painful than he imagined) he had no other choice.

“Your room is pretty, you know?” Jaemin hummed while caressing her hair as they laid on the bed. 

“You’ve never seen it before?” Hyejin asked, rolling her head back to look at him, watching as he shook his head before replying. 

“Nope,” he replied. “I’ve been in the living room, kitchen and bathroom but never here.” 

Hyejin smiled softly, moving closer to him, enjoying the way his strong arms wrapped around her. It felt like a silly thought, but every time he hugged her, she could feel he was hiding some big muscles under the big sweaters, and she was a bit disappointed that even with the hotter weather he kept hiding them, usually under wide t-shirt that hid more than half of his arm.

“Are you listening?” 

“Mh, yeah, yeah, I am,” she replied, shaking her head, and cursing lowly for even thinking such things. “Okay, no, I wasn’t, sorry.” 

Jaemin chuckled, kissing her head before repeating. “It feels like a privilege being here.” 

“A privilege?” 

“Yeah, Yeri told me you don’t let many people here.” 

“Oh,” she gasped. “Well, it’s true. This room is like my safe place, I don’t like strangers to be in it. Honestly, I just don’t like staying here for too long. The only ones allowed are… was… Haechan and well, now you,” she mumbled, not knowing how to put it. Feeling a small twinge of pain in her chest naming Haechan. 

“Yeah, makes sense,” Jaemin whispered, fighting the urge to ask more questions about him. It was a topic she avoided, the main reason why they got so close was that he would keep Haechan out of her mind, so talking about him wasn’t a wise thing. 

“Iseul saw a cat today when I was walking her home from school,” so he changed the topic, surely talking about something that would’ve put her in a good mood, “she thought about you. So, she made me take a pic of her holding it, threatening me if I didn’t show it to you,” he said, giggling as he searched for his phone in his pocket to show her the photo.

Hyejin laughed, shifting to give him more space before pressing against his broad chest again, and waiting for him to find it in the gallery. “Oh, please, she’s so cute. I bet she named it.” 

“Yeah, of course, she named it,” Jaemin said, scrolling through the thousands of pictures the baby made him shoot, “guess what?” 

“Surely like food,” Hyejin said, not able to hide the big smile on her face as the pictures passed by her eyes. 

“You get it, it’s Kimchi.” 

“Kimchi? Did she also make you buy that?” 

Jaemin raised a brow as to ask as if it could be any more obvious and Hyejin laughed. “She’s so funny. You know she loves you so much, right?” 

“Yeah, I know. I love her too, I mean, she makes my days funnier, I’m not sure I want to work in a kindergarten just yet.” 

Hyejin smiled in reflex as she watched the smile on his face, and then her brain let out thoughts. “You’d make a great father.” 

Their eyes met and for a moment she felt the air stop and get heavy. She looked away and coughed. “I mean, kids love you, and you know how to take care of them. Whoever ends up with you is lucky.” 

Jaemin hummed, slowly nodding as he stared at her back now that she was sitting up straight, scratching her neck. “If someone ends up with me.” 

She scoffed. “Please, don’t act as if you’re ugly.” 

“You think I’m handsome?” He asked, bouncing on the bed to sit next to her. 

“I — I…” she mumbled, eyes skimming on his face, eyes, nose, lips, silky blonde hair framing everything that looked sculped by Gods. “I would be stupid to think you’re ugly.” 

A smile curled his lips, and he stared at her lips. “I think you’re beautiful too,” he whispered. 

She had no idea what was going on, but they both started to lean closer, too close, as their gazes were stuck on each other’s lips. It felt like being pulled by a magnet, a force stronger than their will, but it couldn’t be. She was the first one to back away, coughing awkwardly as she stood up and rubbed her nose before fixing her hair behind her ear. 

Jaemin only lowered his head, sighing disappointedly and feeling his heart sink into his chest. What was he even thinking? As if there was space for him like that in her life. 

“It’s dinner time, do you want to order something? There’s a place close to here that makes your favourite dish.” 

“Cleo?” 

Jaemin hummed. 

“That’s where I always go, it’s my favourite place.” 

“Great, I’ll order, then.” 

The night passed with no more awkward moments, even though they were still close to one another, sitting side by side on the bed while eating and watching their favourite movie on the laptop, and then laying on the bed to watch another one. 

Jaemin wasn’t much interested in the movie playing, his eyes moved on her every time she giggled or whispered something, getting lost in her beauty for too long. But by now he wasn’t surprised anymore, he had come to terms he loved her. And it was fine like this, even if she was never going to love him back. Not like he could her ask to, or even wish about, especially considering she had just broken up such a long relationship and surely still had feelings for Haechan. 

But Jaemin liked this nonetheless. Being friends with her was already a win for him, especially after the rough path they walked on for a bit. 

“Why don’t you stay?” When the movie ended, Jaemin barely noticed it and was taken by surprise when she spoke to him. 

“Mhh? What?” 

Hyejin chuckled, stretching her body and jumping off the bed. “I said, why don’t you stay?”

“For the night?” 

“No, for the day,” she joked, rolling her eyes. “Of course, dummy. It’s late, way past midnight. You can sleep here.” 

“Oh,” Jaemin gasped, lifting his wrist to check the time and realise it was indeed later than he expected. “You have another room?” 

Hyejin shook his head. “No, but my bed is big, I’m sure we can fit.” 

“You want me to sleep with you?” 

Hyejin sucked her lips, furrowing, “Yeah? Is it so weird?” 

“No, I — I just…”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I didn’t want to make you drive back home, but you can leave if you feel uncomfortable.” 

“I don’t feel uncomfortable,” he replied right away. “I just wasn’t expecting it.” 

She giggled. “I asked you to sleep, not to do something else.” 

“I know,” he retorted, glaring at her. “I wasn’t hinting at anything, I would never do that,” he stuttered, looking around to avoid her teasing gaze. 

“Are you blushing?” She teased, jumping on the bed again to squeeze his cheeks. 

“Stop it!” Jaemin said, trying to push her away, but the vain attempt only made her laugh more. 

“I know I’m hot but I didn’t think I’d have such an effect on you,” she joked, getting up again, and sensually swinging her hips as she walked to the closet. 

Jaemin huffed, running his fingers through his hair as he watched her. Oh, how many things she didn’t know. “You don’t have an effect on me,” he clarified. “I usually don’t sleep with my friends.” 

“You slept with Haechan.” 

“Yes cause my bed was lost in Ulsan for some reason,” he justified, throwing a pillow at her. 

She laughed, shaking her head before turning around. “So, I guess you can do the sacrifice to squeeze in my bed?” 

Jaemin gulped, involuntarily getting lost in the way her slender fingers were moving to unbutton her button-up shirt before he mentally slapped himself and looked into her eyes, a glint of teasing shining in them. “Yeah, I can do that sacrifice.” 

“Good,” she smiled, walking out of the room after grabbing her clothes for the night. 

Once they were both ready for the night, they laid under the covers. Jaemin tried to stay as far as possible, feeling too hot to even think about her, but Hyejin had no intention of keeping personal space. 

“I don’t bite,” she said, glaring at him when he moved away. “Are you dating someone?” 

“What? What kind of question is that?” 

“I don’t know, we’ve been close to each other all day, we always are, and yet you’re acting like this,” she said, moving her hands to show him the space between them. “Is this weird because you’re dating someone?” 

“I’m not dating anybody,” he replied, sighing and rubbing his forehead. “It’s a bit… hot, I thought you wanted space.” 

“It’s hot?” She asked, lifting a brow. 

Jaemin gulped, meeting her eyes shyly. “Maybe I’m just not used sleep with these covers.” 

Hyejin hummed, biting her lower lip. “So, if we take them off, can I hug you?” 

He didn’t reply right away, trying to understand why she wanted to be this close. But he couldn’t find an answer that he liked. 

“Yeah, sure,” he said, lifting the heavy blanket from his body before shifting closer to her and opening his arm for her to lay on her chest. 

She immediately placed her head on his pecs, while her hand rested on his sternum and inhaled deeply. “That’s better,” she said.

Jaemin chuckled, fighting the awkwardness and caressing her nape in circles. “You love this, don’t you?” 

She hummed, snuggling against him. “Yeah, but it makes me fall asleep easily.” 

“Good, didn’t you say you were having troubles falling asleep?” 

“Yeah,” she replied. 

“Maybe I can be the cure.” 

Hyejin hummed, relaxing with each passing second, and before she could realise it, she fell into a deep slumber. 

Jaemin was the cure. 

“I hate summer so much,” Hyejin whined for the nth time, wiping away the sweat on her forehead with the back of her hand. 

Jaemin chuckled. “Yeah, I would’ve never guessed.” 

She rolled her eyes, ripping the cup from his hands before drinking it, and bringing it to her mouth. “Why does it have to be so hot?” 

He shrugged. “I don’t know, blame it on the climate changes.” 

Hyejin studied his face for a moment, watching the smile stay on his face as he stared at the horizon, and then she let her head fall behind against the wall, watching the sky change its colour as the night approached. 

It felt weird to be back at their place, it felt even weirder when Jaemin convinced her to come inside since Haechan was out (luckily it seemed like he was starting to move on and have fun on his own), she felt like a thief in a place that first felt like home. But on the balcony of Jaemin’s room, she felt a bit safer. 

Two months had passed by, and while her heart wasn’t completely mended, yet, she felt confident enough to say she was doing better. 

“I started painting again,” she whispered in the quiet of the night, lifting her feet on the handrail in front of her as she turned her face to her friend. 

“Really? That’s great. What did you paint?” 

She shrugged, shifting her head another time. “Things… emotions.” 

“Emotions?” Jaemin asked, a confused frown on his face as he let his eyes wander on her. He loved how she was so open with him now, body relaxing against the chair, while she only wore black shorts and a tiny, pink tank top. And he couldn’t hide the smile as he thought about when they first met, and how awkward they both were. It felt surreal to be this close and at ease with each other. “How can you paint emotions?” 

Her head rolled back as she breathed in a deeper breath and then scrolled her hair out of her face, bringing the glass to her lips before answering. “Without thinking. I like to use colours and not shapes,” she explained, smiling at him. “To be honest, I’ve never done it before, but it felt fitting. It felt therapeutic.” 

“What colours?” 

“Red,” she said, a bitter smile on her face. “I was angry and mad at love, I turned the colour that represents love into a dark mix of black and brown.” 

Jaemin let out a bitter chuckle, lowering his head as sadness washed over him. “Love, uhm?” 

“Yeah, I… I thought a lot about what you said to me and I…” she breathed deeply. “I don’t think I love him anymore.” 

He raised a brow. “Are you talking about…?” 

“Yes, about him, who else could I be talking about?” She giggled. “I miss him, of that I’m sure. But now that he’s not been part of my days, and I could think about these past years over and over again, I realized I was just hanging on to a dream. And I’m so mad at me for this, for not loving him anymore, because I feel so lost when loving him was all I knew.” 

“But you love many things, not only him.” 

“I do, but there’s… there’s this anger that I feel because things didn’t go as planned, because I got lost in a dream, because…” she sighed. “I lost my best friend. Love made me lose my best friend and my partner, my lover.” 

Jaemin nodded, keeping his gaze on her face, watching it saddened a bit. “Why don’t you… talk to him? He misses you, too.” 

“I know he does, but I’m not ready. I’m learning how to walk on my own, I’m meeting new people. And I feel like I’m finally growing up, you know?” 

Jaemin hummed.

“I’m sorry, I annoy you so much,” she apologized, but Jaemin immediately stopped her. 

“I like listening to you,” he said. “Did you draw something else?” 

“Just that… until the canvas turned black. And then I set fire to it.” 

“You did what?” He gasped, raising his voice. 

“I needed to let it go!” She justified, shrugging. 

“By setting things on fire?” 

“I told you it was therapeutic,” she defended.  

“Remind me to don’t stay too close to you when you’re mad,” he joked, shaking his head before he took a sip again. 

She chuckled. “I was mad because I felt like I wasted so much time of my life on something that wasn’t meant to be. I feel like I wanted too much and lost everything.” 

“It’s not wasted time if you loved,” he said, facing her. “So… you don’t love him anymore?” 

“I don’t know, everything with him has been so blurry, I… I never had anybody else, I don’t know what’s love and friendly love and just attraction, I… but I’m so afraid of going out and just kissing the first person that passes by.” 

Jaemin didn’t reply, he stared at her, the nervous playing of her fingers, the bouncing of her legs, and then her lips. Those lips he wanted to kiss so badly. 

“Kiss me,” he said, eyes locking into hers, not drifting away not even when hers widened in shock. “I’m not the first person that passes by.” 

“But — but you’re my friend, wouldn’t this be the same as kissing him?” 

“Would it?” 

Hyejin gulped, thinking about it for a moment, staring at his lips. How soft they looked, she wouldn’t have wasted a second doing it if only… if only… 

“I don’t think it’s wise.” 

“Come on, it’s just a kiss.” 

“But what would it prove? I — I know I don’t like you,” she said, panicking when she was Jaemin’s eyes losing their typical sparkle. “No, wait, I just mean I want you like a friend, not a lover.” 

Jaemin nodded, turning around, and getting up. “I know, it’s not like I wanted you to want me like that.” 

“No, I’m sorry. Are you offended?” She asked, standing up, and blocking him from going inside. 

“No, it was a dumb proposal anyway. I’m sorry, I surely made you uncomfortable. I just… I hate when I can’t help you, so I come up with a stupid thing,” he said, but he still avoided her eyes for most of the talk. “You should go outside, a club, or let one of your friends set up a date. You will never truly move on if you don’t see the different shades a relationship can have.” 

Hyejin wanted to stop him again but when he tugged his wrist away, she had to let him go, standing on the balcony as he walked out of the room. She turned around, placing her elbows on the handrail, and looked at the view in front of her. Maybe she should’ve kissed him, maybe she should’ve let her impulses take over, but she didn’t want to lose another friend. She loved spending time with Jaemin, and she felt like only a few people — probably only Haechan — got her like he did. So his other solution was the most rational one. She needed to go out and flirt with people, throw herself on the dating ground and try to experience things she had never done before. It was the only way to move on from Haechan. 

Haechan was doing better, some days he dared to say he was doing good, but then a random wave of sadness would wash over him and he felt like being back at the start. But those waves of sadness started to happen less, at least. He would keep himself busy, trying to hang out with his friends as much as possible to don’t stay at home and rot on the couch, and when he had to stay in, there was always Jaemin to keep him company.

Now, always... Jaemin was mostly out, doing things. Haechan didn’t get why he was so vague every time he asked where he was going or what he was doing, but he didn’t care enough to pry. Jaemin was reserved about his private life, and maybe he just met someone to spend time with. Haechan was happy for him, and he was sure it was just a matter of time before his friend would’ve opened up and spoken about this person he had fallen for. 

Unfortunately, he had other things to worry about. And that was himself. He missed Hyejin, but he was waiting for her to text him first, or do any kind of first move. But not seeing her, not hearing her laugh, not listening to her day, pained him when he was left alone with his thoughts. 

He had no idea how she was doing. When Zoya showed up at his place months ago, he had begged her to check on her, since she wasn’t even replying to Jaemin, but after that, he didn’t dare to ask. He hoped she was doing fine, but if that was true, it also meant that he was so easy to forget, and that hurt even more. 

The worst pain of this all was that he had no idea if he was mourning love or friendship, maybe both, so that was why it hurt so much 

“What are you doing here?” 

“What am I doing here? Really, Hyuck?” Zoya asked, pushing him back to make her way into the apartment. “You’ve been avoiding me, and you ask why I’m here.” 

Haechan didn’t reply, he stared at the floor. Well, so, not only he didn’t want to know about Hyejin, but he was doing everything in his power to avoid Zoya. 

“Why? What have I done?” 

“Nothing,” he replied, lifting his gaze. “I need to be alone. Is it so crazy?” 

“You are hanging out with everyone except me,” she said, crossing her arms on her chest. “What happened?” 

Haechan sighed. “Do I have to hang out with you?” 

“I just would like to know what happened since we used to do it when you were dating but now you can’t even pick up the phone?” 

“Oh, you want to know what happened,” he laughed. “Very funny for someone that disappears without giving a reason.” 

“Seriously? I explained it to you, I thought we were fine with that.” 

“We were fine with that because I’m an asshole and I welcomed you in again without thinking twice, fucking up my relationship with Hyejin because, fuck, four years later and I still care so much about you, no matter all the pain you put me through. But no, dear, you never explained why you left me without saying a word, you never explained why you never picked up my phone calls or never answered my texts when I was worried sick because I had no idea where you were, with who you were and what you were doing. I feared you were taken back against your will, I thought that if only you’d spoken to me I could’ve helped you stay here even if your parents’ jobs required you to leave with them. I fucking asked my mother if she would’ve been fine with letting you stay with us, hopelessly thinking you would’ve at least let me know you weren’t hating having to go back to India. I blamed myself because maybe you were telling me something with your talks about how much you loved being in Korea and how happy you were to be here, how when you were a child you would’ve never expected to love a place you hated so much,” Haechan ranted, veins popping out of his arms as tears streamed down his face. “And you were fine, I bet you took the opportunity of your parent’s jobs to go back and erase everything as if it had never been,” he breathed out. 

“I… I can’t tell you why I left, but I’m sorry, I told you many times how sorry I am,” Zoya whispered, fighting back the tears that were making it hard to talk and see. 

“Yeah, you are, but don’t expect me to be open about what I’m going through when you can’t be open with me.” 

“You would hate me if I gave you the reason, and you would think that… that everything is a twisted joke on you.” 

He shrugged. “I’m used to it.” 

Zoya sighed, wiping her nose with the back of her hand to dry the tears. “I don’t want to leave you alone. You and Hyejin have always been close to me when nobody wanted me, when I was just a small kid not knowing what she was doing in a foreign country, I…”

“We’re not those kids anymore, Zoya,” he said, looking into her eyes. Those eyes that still caused shivers to roll down his spine, those eyes he didn’t want to see because he would always get lost in them. Every eye contact was like a thunder striking him without his consent. And he felt like he had lied saying those words because if he focused on her face a bit more, he could still see the little girl he knew, the one that turned into the teenager that stole his heart before tearing it into pieces. “And I don’t know what I’m feeling, for her, for you, for me. It’s like a big tangle, and I’m stuck in the middle of it. I feel like I’ve already lost her, and I don’t know if I’ll also lose you.” 

She shook her head, walking closer to him, wanting to hug him but didn’t. “You will never lose me,” she reassured. “And you will never lose her, she just needs time and space. I’ve seen love a few times in my life and I swear that I’ve never seen it as strong as in her eyes when they would fall on you. You two are something that can’t be torn apart, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t have obstacles to surpass.” 

Haechan lowered his head. “But what if I don’t want to surpass them? I had her by my side.” 

“And maybe you took her for granted?” Zoya said, and Haechan looked into her eyes. “Sometimes you have to lose something to know how much you care for it.” 

“I knew how much I cared for it even before,” he defended. 

“If she left maybe it wasn’t so clear.” 

“So what do I have to do? Look for her? Force her into a relationship she doesn’t want? Beg her to take me back?” 

She shook her head. “You have to wait, and she will come back to you.” 

“I swear, we should do this more often,” Hyejin giggled as she poured the soju down her throat. 

“Careful, don’t get too drunk,” Jaemin warned her after doing the same, placing the bottle on the countertop. 

“I have a good tolerance,” she replied. “That club sucked.” 

“People suck,” he corrected. 

“True,” she chuckled, opening a kitchen shelf to look for food. “Chips?” She asked, lifting a bag of paprika chips. 

“I’d love something more filling but this will do.” 

She smiled, ripping the package. “Your room? What if he comes back?” 

“He’s out tonight, said he’ll sleep over to Yang.” 

“Can we still go up? I want to sit on the balcony,” she pouted. 

“Whatever you wish,” he said, “Go, I’ll bring the rest.” 

Five minutes later they were sitting on the balcony, the usual view as always as they shared a bag of chips and some drinks.  

“Thank you for stopping that man before,” she said. 

“Nothing,” he smiled. 

“Wasn’t in the mood to fuck him.” 

Jaemin giggled. “Not what you said when I picked you up tonight,” he said. “Tonight I’m getting laid,” he mimicked her voice and she laughed after pushing him away. 

“I said I wasn’t in the mood to fuck him, not to don’t fuck in general,” she specified. 

Jaemin looked over, pinching her arm. “You’re still not getting laid tonight.” 

“It’s a shame don’t you think so?” She asked, voice dropping lower as she teased him twirling her hair. 

“Indeed, it is,” Jaemin replied, running his tongue on his lips as his eyes lingered on her for a second. 

“Got so pretty for nothing,” she pouted, pointing with her head at her clothes. 

“The butterfly top is pretty,” he hummed. 

“What about the skirt?” She asked, crossing her legs, making the fabric rise up on her smooth thighs. 

Jaemin gulped, paying little to no attention to the black skirt, too focused on her soft thighs and the way her hands, covered in jewellery, touched her skin. “Pretty.” 

“It’s really a waste,” she huffed, pushing the skirt down and yawing, making him snap out of his trance, nodding and forcing his gaze on the horizon. “But at least it’s not too hot.” 

“No, not hot at all,” he forced out, trying to don’t think about the dirty thoughts his brain was screaming. He wanted her, now more than ever. It was already a miracle he didn’t ask her to kiss him while they danced together all night after he had to push some creeps away. But this felt like it was too much. And he couldn’t understand if she was doing it on purpose or if she had no idea of the power she had over him. Or maybe she thought it was just attraction, but to Jaemin was so much more than that. 

“Can we dance?” 

“Can we what?” He asked, turning around but the chair next to him was already empty as she was inside, busy to turn the music on. 

“I’ve always wanted to try the speakers,” she said, putting a playlist on youtube and connecting her phone to them. 

“Not too loud,” he said, “the neigh—”

“Shh,” she shut him up, placing a finger on his lips while her arm wrapped around his neck and her hips started moving to the sensual music. “Don’t think about anything.” 

Jaemin wanted to retort, and even question why the music was so sensual, but he stood no chance with her eyes silently commanding him. So his shoulders dropped as he tried to relax to the music; a struggle when her body was grinding on his and her face was so close. 

It felt natural, their bodies swinging to the rhythm as if they got those movements down by heart, as if it was supposed to be like this. Daring hands touching dangerous patches of skin, lips wanting so badly to get a taste, and eyes that were screaming thousands of secret thoughts. 

It took Jaemin a while to realize what was going on, with his eyes closed, letting the music move him, he thought he was making the soft touch on his lips up, but when his eyes parted and she was standing face to face, he realized it was reality. 

“What — what are you doing?” He asked, involuntary tightening the hold on her waist. 

“Can I kiss you?” She answered with another question, eye contact not faltering not even for a second, and he wondered if she was the same Hyejin as always. 

“I — I don’t think we should be doing this,” he mumbled, throat dry and legs weak. 

“But you said I should try to kiss you and see how it feels,” she said, caressing his cheek. “I want to know what you feel like.” 

“I’m… I’m bland, I don’t feel like — oh,” his words died down when her lips crashed against his, cupping his cheeks while the hand on her lower back pushed her flat on his body, lifting her from the floor for a split second. 

Hyejin’s hand tightened on his neck, feeling her head spin, and she knew she couldn’t blame it on the alcohol. This was anything but bland. It felt like thousands of unspoken words and feelings being rushed on her, sweeping her like a wave. The shyness of their lips lasted less than ten seconds, and then Jaemin got braver. His touch was strong, and his lips were greedy, kissing her like she hadn’t been kissed for months. 

“Jaemin,” she gasped when she pulled away for air. 

“Yeah?” He asked, leaning in for another one, not giving her time to continue. But it wasn’t like Hyejin had any words left in her brain. This was breathtaking and addictive. A new kind of attraction she didn’t even know she could feel. 

“Jaemin,” she screamed when he lifted her up, her legs swiftly wrapping around his waist, and trapped her against her wall. “God,” she moaned when he grabbed her wrists and pushed them over her head, lips moving to kiss down her neck, until he reached for the curves of her boobs, playfully biting down the soft skin. 

“I need you,” Jaemin whispered, climbing up again, whispering against her swollen lips. “Please, let me have you,” he said, caressing her cheek, “I promise I’ll make you feel so good.” 

Hyejin nodded, struggling to give him a vocal response as her body moved on its own, grinding on him and searching for more contact. “Please,” was the only whimper she could make come out of her lips, but it was more than enough for Jaemin to keep going where he stopped. A curse rolled from her mouth when he pressed his hips against her, making her feel how hard he was already, while his hands frenetically moved to untie the knots behind her back, soon letting the top fall loose on her before he pushed it off her arms, throwing it in a corner of the room. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he muttered, staring at her bare chest, cupping her boob as he trapped her lips in another kiss. 

“Jaemin, please,” she begged in the kiss. 

“You want me? Want me to stop fucking around and make you feel good?” 

“Yes.” 

Jaemin had no idea what was running in his body at that moment, driving him to act in a way he never acted before, craving her like he never craved anybody else before. He swiftly moved around to throw her on the bed, standing tall in front of her as he worked to take his clothes off, baring himself to her eyes, watching even the smallest of her reaction with a smirk on his face. 

Hyejin had no idea either, she wasn’t even sure she felt that attraction before that night, and yet here she was, already wetting her panties just from the sight of his body, toned and beautiful just like she had imagined a thousand times before (maybe the attraction was there before that night, she was just in denial). She gulped, squeezing her thighs together when he pushed the boxers down, revealing his big, hard dick. 

But as much as Jaemin would’ve liked to indulge in the sight of her surprise, he needed her. And in a second his body was on hers again, slipping off her skirt in a swift movement. When he kissed her again, pushing her against the mattress, her hands couldn’t help but wander on him, feeling his skin under her touch before reaching his hair and pulling strongly, making him groan. 

A shaky breath rolled from her lips when his hand sneaked between their bodies and rubbed on her wet panties. 

Jaemin chuckled. “So wet and sensitive, aren’t you?” 

She hummed, not so confident anymore of keeping eye contact. 

“And I barely even touched you,” he said, pulling the crotch to the side to move his tips on her slit and clit. 

Hyejin would’ve liked to disagree, that was a lot for her. That passion, that need, was something that had been missing from her life for so long. And honestly, probably had never been much into it. She had never been lifted on her feet to be kissed, nobody ever pressed her against a wall and tried to undress her with rush and need. She never felt this wanted. And she couldn’t care there wasn’t love behind this, because it felt new and refreshing, and Jaemin was going to make her lose her mind. 

“Fuck, babe, didn’t even have to push them in, look at how easy you’re taking them,” he whispered, bringing her back to earth, shyly trying to look between their bodies to see what he was doing. But his fingers curling so nicely and deep into her made her head roll back, mouth open as she moaned with no care. 

The house was empty anyway. They had nothing to worry about. 

Her hands clenched around the bedsheet when Jaemin’s lips made contact with her skin, starting to kiss and nibble at her jaw and neck as his two fingers never stopped doing wonders. Her whole body was on fire, back arching as she searched for more, eyes rolled back hidden behind her closed eyelids, and lips parted. 

That was, to Jaemin, the prettiest view in the world. And he had to blink a few times to make sure it wasn’t a fantasy, that he didn’t have to blame it on the alcohol, but she was truly underneath him. “You can’t be real,” he whispered, staring at her face, contorted in an expression of pleasure. 

Hyejin felt her heart twirl in her chest. She had never been touched like this by somebody that wasn’t him, never even ever imagined what other hands and lips could feel like, and she couldn’t believe this was what was waiting for her. That this pleasure was the something new that was missing. It was wild to her how much chemistry she was feeling flooding between her and Jaemin. How could he possibly be so good at playing her like a violin? Touching her as if he had been doing that for ages. 

“I’m close,” she whimpered when she felt her stomach tighten. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting but surely not for him to fasten the pace of his fingers inside and the thumb on her clit, taking her breath away. “Jaemin,” she cried out, legs bending up in a twitch. 

“Come on, you can take it,” he reassured her with no intention of slowing down, grabbing the hand that was clenching on the sheet as he sat up to have a perfect view of her trembling body. “That’s it, that’s it,” he encouraged, watching her hips lift from the mattress and feeling her pussy clench around his fingers. 

“I — I…” she moaned, trying to find the words to describe what she was feeling but it was impossible since she never felt that way before. And before she could think another coherent thought, her orgasm got the best of her, hitting harder than ever before, making her legs tremble while her head rolled back and her eyes rolled in the back of her skull. 

“Fuck,” Jaemin moaned when a jet of liquid hit his arm, coating it with thicker and more liquid slick. Shocked he had made her squirt so easily, but even more amazed at the way her body reacted to his touch. He didn’t stop moving, not caring if that meant adding even more mess as she kept squirting until the orgasm died down and she begged for him to stop. 

“Shit,” Hyejin huffed, moving her hair back and forcing her neck to lift her head to come face to face with the aftermath of her orgasm. “What have I done?” 

Jaemin pulled his fingers out, licking them clean, and then stared at her with a confused expression. “You’ve never done this before?” 

She bit her lip, shaking her head with a faint red tint on her cheeks. “No. What was that?” 

“You squirted?” 

“I can do that?” 

“Well, you did,” he chuckled. “It was pretty fucking hot if I have to be honest.” 

She didn’t reply, only giggled before her body fell lack on the mattress again. 

Jaemin chuckled back before he was where he was before, hands resting at the sides of her face and lower body pressed against hers. “I’m not done with you,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss her. “Tell me you want this. Tell me you want me.” 

“I want you,” she said without hesitating not even for a moment. “Please.” 

That was all he needed to push into her. 

“Oh,” she gasped when he was halfway in and kept slowly making its way in, stretching her with each inch sinking deeper until he bottomed down.  

“Are you okay?” He asked, standing on his elbows to be closer to her body, his chest pressing against hers, while their lips almost brushed. 

“Yeah, it’s just been a while and it’s… big,” she chuckled awkwardly, “but it feels good, you can move.” 

And so he did, going back on his hands to move more freely, driving his hips back before thrusting forward. 

“You feel so good,” he breathed out, eyes falling where their bodies met before moving to her face again. “So, so fucking good.” 

She wanted to reply and say she felt the same, letting him know how much she loved the feeling of being filled and fucked, but it was already impossible to speak coherent words.  

Jaemin had so many things to say, but he had no courage to ruin this moment with feelings that weren’t returned. All he could do was try to show her how much he loved her and cared for her. He couldn’t whisper in her ear how lucky he felt at that moment, or how much he wished to be this intimate with her, he couldn’t even tell her he loved her. So he kept reminding him that this was enough, and it didn’t matter if tomorrow everything went back like before. He had her, and that was all that mattered. 

But it was hard to don’t slip on those three words when she looked so pretty underneath him and kept moaning his name, loudly in the night with no care someone would hear. Why should have this ended in another way when they fit so well together? Jaemin didn’t get it, but he didn’t want to stain this moment with sadness, so he focused on her. Leaving kisses on her neck and chest, and touching her body all over because he needed to be reminded that this was real. 

“Is this why you dressed up tonight and danced with me the whole time?” He teased. “You wanted me all along, didn’t you?” 

She hummed, looking into his eyes but seeing blurry as all the pleasure got into her brain more and more. 

“As if you need to do all that to get me on my knees,” he thought he said that to himself, well, slow enough she couldn’t hear, but those words reached her perfectly, and she wasn’t sure it was just a play for the sake of the dirty talk or if he really meant it. 

“Jae, I’m close,” she breathed out, deciding not to think too much about it. Also, it wasn’t the first time Jaemin made it clear he found her beautiful and attractive, there’s was nothing to worry about. 

“Yeah? Gonna come?”

“Yes, fuck,” she moaned, swallowing hard. 

“Already, pretty girl? How desperate are you, uhm?”

She opened her mouth to reply but he stopped her with a click of tongue and a thumb on her lips. “Don't answer, I can see how desperate you are. How badly you need this, to be fucked good, and nice, and deep.”

Her body trembled at his words, and she couldn’t hold it in anymore, coming around his dick as hard as before, feeling the air leave her lungs and lust fill her brain completely, triggering his orgasm too with no warning. 

When they laid there, they both felt stuck in a euphoric state they couldn’t explain. Surely for different reasons, but it felt like that chemistry couldn’t be turned off. 

Right when Jaemin was about to turn over and ask her if she wanted to take a shower, he found Hyejin on top of him, pressing him down the mattress, kissing him roughly. 

“I need more,” she whispered in the kiss, grinding on top of him. “Just for tonight.” 

Jaemin nodded, stunned, not expecting her to initiate something for the second time. But he also needed more. “I’ll give it to you,” he replied, hands cupping her ass as she slowly lowered on his dick, letting out shaky whimpers as he filled her again. “I’ll give you everything you want.” 

“Oh, I finally get to meet you,” Haechan joked, entering the kitchen, seeing someone sitting on the stool, wearing Jaemin’s shirt, and giving him their back. “Though, Jaem, the rooms are not soundproof and you kept me up all night.” 

When the person on the stool turned around and Haechan saw her face, he could swear he could feel the moment stop. He stood there, frozen and speechless, the only part of him moving were his eyes, skimming back and forth from his best friend’s and ex’s shocked faces. 

Nobody spoke. Nobody dared to say anything. Haechan wasn’t supposed to be at home that night, so they didn’t even expect him to be up so early in the morning as they both knew how much he slept when he didn’t have to go to work and slept over to someone else. But Haechan was there, staring at them while silent tears started streaming down his face and mixed emotions started to overwhelm him. 

“You — you two are…” he mumbled, pointing a finger at them, trying to understand what hurt the most. His best friend fucking his ex. Or his ex fucking his best friend. “You two are fucking?” 

“Haechan, is not what —” 

“Is not what? You’re fucking my best friend?” 

Hyejin got up, shaking her head. “It only happened once.” 

“Once? I fucking heard everything! You kept going all night!” 

“Oh my god,” she whispered, rubbing her hands on her face because that was so embarrassing. As if he wasn’t the one hearing her moans once, or seeing her naked, but now it felt weird. It wasn’t for him anymore. “We’ve never done that before.” 

“Wait,” he said, taking a moment to think about the past weeks. “Have you two been hanging out all this time?” 

“Why does it matter?” Jaemin tried to intervene, coming to her side. 

“It does because you told me she wasn’t picking up your calls, and she wanted to keep her distance, and look at you,” Haechan said, scoffing bitterly. “Oh my god, is she… is she all the times you were busy? All the times you were vague about what you were doing? When you couldn’t explain why I couldn’t come with you, it was because you were with her?” 

“Yes, I was,” Jaemin snapped, bringing his hands in the air. “And what about it? Me and her were friends, well, are friends,” he specified, a twinge of pain in his heart. “Why do you care?” 

“Because I just wanted to know she was fine and you couldn’t even tell me she was,” he replied. “Fucking dumbass,” he murmured to himself, “I’m so fucking stupid. Always worrying you are hurt or something and look at you, fucking my best friend.” 

“I was hurt,” she said, deeply offended by his assumption. “You think I was happy?” 

“Well, I don’t know, you broke up with me,” Haechan screamed. “Was it because of him?” 

“What are you saying?” She asked, starting to feel her throat close as tears menaced to have their best on her. 

“Oh, please don’t act dumb, Hyejin,” he said, sniffling. “Of course, you like him. I should’ve seen it.” 

“I don’t, we’re friends.” 

“And since when you fuck with friends?” Haechan asked with more urgency in his tone, taking a step closer to her. 

“I told you it only happened last night, and it’s none of your business,” she screamed. 

“It is when you accused me of being in love with someone else to break up with me and then you were the one in love with someone else all along.” 

“You are out of your mind,” she spat out, furrowing as her heart clenched. 

“Oh, really?” he asked before throwing his head behind and pushing down tears. “For how long has this been going on?” 

“There’s nothing between us,” Jaemin said firmly.

Haechan clicked his tongue, tilting his head to the side as he let out another bitter snicker. “No? Who are you kidding? You said I was busy thinking about Zoya as if you didn’t spend our last months together attached to him by the hip, Hyejin! You were always giggling and doing shits together and you still had the gut to blame me for your crazy ass fantasies about Zoya!” 

“I never… I never blamed you.” 

“Please, if that’s not the literal reason you broke up with me,” he retorted angrily, his gaze on her full of disgust and betrayal before it moved to his friend. “And you? I gave you a house and you came by charming my girlfriend? Aren’t you ashamed?” 

“Ashamed? I should be ashamed for not treating her like an ornament like you did?” Jaemin snapped. “I was always there for her because I wanted to be there for her, because I cared for her, and I hated to see her smile drop every time she wanted to do something and, guess what, you would always say no,” Jaemin yelled, walking closer to him, making him walk back to the door, leaving Hyejin behind his broad back. “You lost her because you didn’t cherish her enough, because you didn’t care to listen to her or to make her truly happy. So tell me, have I charmed her, or did you take her for granted?” 

Haechan didn’t reply, he briefly looked over at Hyejin that was staring at them with eyes wide open as tears streamed down her face, and before he could think twice, his body reacted. 

“Haechan!” Her scream bounced in the kitchen walls when his fist landed on Jaemin’s face, making him take a few steps back holding his cheek in pain. 

“You don’t have a say in our relationship, you don’t know shit about me and how hard these past months have been. You don’t know me! And you don’t know how much I loved her. It’s so easy for you to come in and be the prince of the situation, the saviour, the one that has his shits together, it has always been easy for you to do that, right?” 

“Really? You’re telling me I lied? You’re telling me she didn’t come third in your priorities if not less?” Jaemin said, glaring at him as he once again moved closer, hand in the air to hit back while Haechan was about to do the same. 

“Don’t you fucking dare —”

“Stop it!” Hyejin screamed, putting herself in between them. “Are you two stupid?” 

“Are you listening to what he’s saying? Do you think that too? Do you think I didn’t love you enough?” 

Hyejin didn’t reply, she only stared into his dark eyes and let the silence give him an answer he didn’t like. 

“Why couldn’t you be fucking honest then? Why did you have to lie when we broke up? Why do you hate me?” 

“I don’t hate you,” she whispered, shaking her head as if she wanted to push out all the pain and noises. “I could never hate you!” 

Haechan sighed, looking down at the floor, not daring to watch how she held Jaemin’s shaking hand instead of his. Everything made sense. “You moved on so easily, everybody moves on so easily,” he whispered. 

“Hyuck, we —”

“Don’t call me Hyuck, that name is not yours to call anymore. I’m not yours anymore in any kind of way. Fuck you, fuck our friendship, and fuck everything that has ever been between us,” he retorted, taking a step away. “I’m so fucking happy for you, go and live your happy life with your prince charming, the one that doesn’t have problems, the one that will always put you first, he surely loves you so much, my love will feel like a drop in the ocean compared to his.” 

“Haechan,” she called, feeling her heart sink in her chest as he walked toward the door, following him, only then letting go of Jaemin’s hand. “Please, stop. We don’t even love each other.” 

Haechan scoffed. “Funny you say that as if you didn’t tell me I still love Zoya and you don’t see the same love in my eyes. You always know what’s best for everyone, how can you not know what’s best for you?” 

She didn’t reply, feeling guilty and confused. “Where are you going? This is your place.”

“Away. I don’t want to see you, or him. You can fuck somewhere else in the house if yesterday wasn’t enough.” 

When the door slammed shut, more tears started falling down Hyejin’s face, she stayed there, staring at the wooden door as if she could turn back time and change everything of what happened, until she heard sounds coming from the kitchen that reminded her she wasn’t alone, and she wasn’t the only one hurt. 

“Sorry,” she apologized entering the room, “you need ice.” 

“No, it’s fine,” Jaemin said, trying to stop her from opening the freezer but all in vain. 

“He hit you.” 

“Yeah, and he had all reasons to do so,” he replied, chuckling bitterly and shaking his head as he sat on a chair, throwing his head back.  

“No, he didn’t.” Jaemin hissed when she placed the cold item on his cheekbone after wrapping it in a towel. “You were right, and he had no reason to get so mad about us.” 

“I was right but I wouldn’t be happy to hear those things, and I fucked up saying he didn’t love you,” he explained, leaning his head against her chest while her arms kept him close to her. “I’m sorry I put you in this situation, I should’ve said no last night.” 

“No,” she said resolutely. “I wanted to do that, I don’t regret it. You wanted me, right?” 

Jaemin took a moment to reply, if only he could scream how much he wanted her, if only it didn’t sound so pathetic after she made it clear there was nothing more going on between them. “I did, but I didn’t want it to lead to this.” 

“But I’m free to do what I want. I don’t belong to him. We’re not dating anymore, and I didn’t break up with him to stay with you.” 

Jaemin hummed, too tired to add anything to the conversation. Why couldn’t he have one nice thing without watching it crumble apart in a second? Why was he so stupid? Why did he fall for the wrong people?

“Hey, I loved being with you last night, I don’t want you to regret this,” she said, caressing his hair, pressing a bit harder on the swollen cheek, making him groan. 

“I don’t regret it but…” he sighed, “now he’s mad, and we all fought, and… how do you fix this?” 

“By talking to him,” she said. “I know him, he just needs to cool down, and then I’ll explain for the nth time why I broke us off. He will understand.” 

“I hope so,” Jaemin whispered, letting his head fall in her warm embrace again. He wasn’t so sure about it. 

Hyejin was right. After three days of cold shoulders, the three of them managed to sit down and talk about what had happened. It was easy to apologize for the harsh words and acts, but it was a bit harder to make Haechan believe she didn’t fall for his best friend months ago. 

And even if Haechan was now sure about it, he couldn’t help but seethe every time he saw them together. He wanted to be the bigger person, but he wasn’t that mature yet. So that, and his need to at least have her around again, led to him nervously bounce his leg or play with his fingers as he heard them laugh in another room, or cook together, or watch a movie cuddled on the couch. 

We’re not dating. 

That was what they kept telling him, and pretty much everybody. 

Bullshits. 

It was what Haechan thought every time. 

Maybe they weren’t, but denying the feelings that were so evident between them, was absurd to him. 

But at least he —partially— had Hyejin back, right? That should’ve been the positive outcome of the whole situation; the healing of his suffering. Yet, it didn’t feel like it. 

So he tried to lock himself in his room and don’t even think about what was going on outside. The plan was successfully failing, he needed a bigger distraction, and he had tried pretty much everything — from going out to drinking himself to sleep, and nothing worked.

“Can we talk?” Haechan asked, standing in front of Hyejin that was sitting on the couch, cuddled up against the armrest, busy reading a book. 

Her eyes flickered up, staring at him as she shook the momentary confusion off. “Sure, sit,” she replied, patting the empty space next to her while bookmarking the page before placing the book on the coffee table in front of her. 

Haechan coughed, sitting down almost as if he was a stranger in his own house, and he suddenly got why he hated seeing her there so much. It reminded him how much she was part of his routine, how she would always try to spend time there for him, how much this felt like her house too, and now it was all for someone else. 

“Haechan?” She called his name when he didn’t talk. 

“Where’s Jaemin?” 

“In the shower,” she replied so nonchalantly as if it was so normal that she was waiting for him just like she used to do with him. “Why?” 

Haechan shook his head, pressing his lips in a thin line to swallow the bitterness he felt rise. “Just asking.” 

“Do you need the living room? I can go to his room —”

“No,” he stopped her, going to touch her with his hand but stopping mid-air. “I wanted to talk.” 

Hyejin sat back down, confusion even more evident on her face as she tried to decipher his expression. “Is this about the other day?” 

“No, we’ve already discussed it,” he said, leg bouncing nervously as he stared at the floor. “I just wanted to make conversation.” Lie. He wanted answers. Answers to questions not even he knew. If only there was something that made sense in his mind. 

“Oh, sure,” she replied, shifting to sit better. 

And when Haechan looked into her eyes he wondered if she couldn’t read him anymore or if she didn’t care to do it anymore, the latter was somehow much worse than the first one. 

“I heard you started painting again,” he said, trying to hide the tremble in his voice and look into her eyes, feeling his heart warm up when her eyes lightened up. 

“Yeah, I did,” she replied, smiling brightly. “Did Jaemin tell you?” 

“No, I… I overheard the other day while you were making, what was it? Bracelets?” He asked, faking he didn’t sulk on that for days as he regretted all the times he said ‘no’ when she asked to try to do DIY stuff just for fun. “Yes, bracelets,” he said when she hummed. “I was cooking but staring at the pot wasn’t interesting, so my ears got caught, sorry.” 

“No, it’s fine,” she giggled, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. 

An awkward silence followed, something so jarring in their everyday life. They had shared their every day since they were three years old and there had never been an awkward silence or a dull moment between them, this was something they had no idea how to deal with, something that looked so scary if they dared to lean over and look at what the future held for them. 

This was the exact reason why Haechan was terrified of letting those cursed three words slip from his mouth three years ago. And he couldn’t believe his biggest fear was staring at him right in the eyes, mocking him carelessly. 

“I’m happy for you,” he said, letting her know the first thing that his brain could make up. It wasn’t a nicety, he truly was. Well, maybe he wasn’t exactly happy she moved on so easily, leaving him in the back as if a blow of wind had taken everything that had been between them, but he was glad she was happy and in love, whether it was because of Jaemin or her biggest passion. 

“I’m ha — thanks,” she said, stopping mid-phrase, when she realized she didn’t know what was going on in his life. “What are you up to?” 

Haechan shrugged. Maybe it was better not to have her at all if this was the only way he could have her now. It felt like a mockery she wasn’t the first one to know what he was up to. It felt crazy she couldn’t be happy for him because she didn’t know if he had something to be happy about. 

“Just the usual,” he shrugged, looking around the room, counting down the seconds for Jaemin to walk out of the bathroom so he could have an excuse to leave. 

“Did you see Zoya lately?” 

But at those words he snapped his neck to her, a deep furrow creasing his forehead. “Is this a test?” 

“No, I’m — I was just asking…” 

“Why would you ask about her?” 

Hyejin mouthed something, rubbing her neck. “I was just making conversation, she’s our friend.” 

“She’s the reason you broke up with me,” he replied, more bitterly than it sounded in his mind.  

“Haechan, do we have to do this again?” 

“We’re not doing it again, I just don’t get why you would bring her up. Don’t go back to your words, you told me you felt I still loved her and didn’t love you anymore, so why am I the bad guy when I remind you that?” 

Hyejin sighed. “I’m sorry, I… I wasn’t teasing, I was just genuinely asking. She told me you were avoiding her.” 

Haechan snickered, shaking his hair before getting up. “Of course, she did, you two are best friends now, right?” 

She furrowed, not understanding his sudden switch. “We’ve always been friends.” 

“Don’t act as if you loved her, you hated every time she came around.”

“I hated the way you looked at her, I never hated her,” she clarified, clenching her hand nervously next to her leg.  

Haechan scoffed, cocking his head to the side. “Oh, really? And how did I look at her?” 

“Like you loved her!” She screamed. 

“But when I say you and Jaemin love each other I’m the crazy one, right?” 

“What’s going on here?” Jaemin asked, entering the room with hesitant steps. 

“Nothing,” Haechan cut short, standing up to leave and go to his room, giving her his back and passing by his friend. “Maybe I need to make her fantasy come true.” 

The night wasn’t supposed to end this way. When Haechan called Zoya to ask her if she was free and drove to her place, his only intention was to get drunk and rant about his feelings while she listened and then do the same for her. 

So he wasn’t sure how they ended up naked on her bed, knuckles deep inside her while she moaned his name. 

It would’ve been easy to blame it on the alcohol, but the truth is that the cans of beer were mostly left untouched. 

The reason was bigger than that, but none of the two wanted to address the elephant in the room, and it was fine like this. Being tangled in the sheets wasn’t a new thing for them, surely years had passed, and they both went beyond the awkwardness of their first time, but there still was a familiar feeling lingering in the air. 

“Haechan, fuck,” Zoya moaned when his fingers curled, hitting her sensitive spot, and his lips sucked harshly on her clit. Her heart dropped in her chest as butterflies took flight in her stomach when he only grinned, staring straight into her eyes. If she wasn’t drunk on the feeling, she would’ve wondered since when he was this good at this, but it really didn’t matter when her legs were trembling and her lungs were gasping for air. 

“Too much for you?” He teased after pulling away from her with a loud pop sound, but replacing his tongue with his thumb, rubbing quick circles. “I’m not even started, yet.” 

No words left her mouth, the only reply was in her hands moving down to tangle in his hair and push his face back between her legs. Haechan grinned against her skin before resuming his movements. Tongue moving in swift licks and mouth sucking, while his other hand ran up her thigh, keeping her spread.

“Hyuck,” her voice came out like a whisper while her back arched, feeling the orgasm approach, fingers clenching harder in his hair and toes curling. And his name was the last thing she was able to say before her high hit. 

“Feared you weren’t letting me go,” Haechan joked, grinning playfully as he stood up once her fingers left his hair, bringing his fingers to his lips to lick them clean. 

Zoya chuckled, supporting her upper body on her elbows. “You changed a lot,” she said, staring into his eyes, slowly moving back against the bed as he crawled to her. 

“Is this a bad thing?” He asked, grabbing her chin to lift her face before letting his thumb run over her lips. 

“I don’t know,” she whispered, feeling the tension rise up in the air, “I feel like I still have to get to know the new you.” 

Haechan snickered. “Do you want to start getting a taste now?” 

A smile curled her lips as she moved closer to him, lips brushing. “I’m not dumb enough to say no.” 

This was a slippery slope and deep down in their hearts — and brains, too — they both knew it. But tonight it didn’t matter, tonight was just for fun. Nothing of this would’ve existed tomorrow. They could’ve pretended, leaving this as it was — a tangled mess of bodies and skin — and not an overcomplicated, emotional mess of feelings and fears, those were waiting outside at the door, but they would’ve faced them in the morning. 

Haechan was about to open his mouth and say something, but Zoya was quick at shutting him up, one hand over his mouth as she moved her head side to side. 

“Don’t,” she breathed out, glassy eyes looking into his, “Please, don’t say a word. Just fuck me.”

And he didn’t make her repeat herself, nodding quickly before slipping inside of her, watching her mouth part at the stretch as he eased down until he bottomed down. 

“Fuck,” they both muttered at the same time, eyes fluttering shut for a split second before they opened again. 

“Move,” she ordered, “do I have to guide you through this or can you fuck me good?”

Haechan furrowed, grunting under his breath, “I can fuck you good, and better than any other man has ever done. You should know that.”

Zoya scoffed. “I���ve had much better sex after you. You know, you weren’t that great.”

It could’ve easily been a trick to drive him past his limit and start fucking into her, but Haechan didn’t care. He wanted to prove to her he was the best she ever had. 

“Is this how you want it? Hard and rough?” He teased, head tilting to the side as he watched her face let go into pleasure, head slightly rolled back while soft, husky moans slipped from her mouth. “Is this how my replacements gave it to you?”

A crease formed on her forehead as she forced herself to don’t reply. “You moved on, too,” she said, parting her eyes to meet his. “Much faster than me.”

Haechan scoffed. “Were you keeping tabs on me? Couldn’t even let me know if you were alive but were making sure to know my every single move?”

“Just shut up,” she groaned, pulling him closer by his hair, tugging at them harshly, biting his lower lip, making him whimper. 

“What if I don’t want to? What if I want to — mmph — fuck,” he mumbled when she cupped his chin and squeezed tight. 

“You don’t,” she replied sternly, taking advange of his momentary state of surprise to turn the situation around, pushing him on his back on the other side of the bed, quickly fixing her body on top of him. “You shut up and fuck me like I tell you to, okay?” 

“This is not me fucking you, it’s you fucking me.” 

“Good,” she breathed out, “better even, so you don’t act up.” 

“I was just —” his words died in his mouth when she pushed two fingers inside, pressing down on his tongue, making him gag. “Suck,” she ordered. “You’re so good with your mouth when you suck, so keep it busy.”

Haechan wanted to complain but he physically couldn’t, and honestly, after a few seconds, he couldn’t even care. Not when she was riding him so well, filthy sounds of skin slapping against skin filling his brain and getting him drunker on the feeling. He wasn’t used to this, going back to back into stable relationships he rarely felt the heat of irrational sex, and even more hate sex. He could read it in her thrusts, she was mad, angry at him, but didn’t dare to say anything out loud, so she unloaded in another way. And he was mad too, he was so angry, and he didn’t even know why. He didn’t know anything anymore. 

“Fuck, that’s good,” she hissed, throwing her head back, sinking her nails into his chest while the others kept keeping his mouth full. “Just take it and don’t say a word,” she ordered when she pulled her fingers out, messily smearing the spit on his chin. 

And he didn’t complain, he couldn’t, it felt good, and he felt like he needed to be punished a bit, he deserved to be put back in his place. 

And with all those emotions running through their bodies, it didn’t take long for them to come. Panting bodies, needy hands, and breathy, desperate moans, making a mess on the sheets, letting out senseless words and curses, before everything came to an alt. 

Her body collapsed on his, and with the few strength left his arm wrapped around her waist, thumb caressing a patch of skin. 

The night wasn’t supposed to end this way. 

“I think I fucked things up,” Jaemin and Zoya said at the same time as they sat down at a table at the bar where they set the date.  

“You start,” they voiced out together, rolling their eyes at their thing today. 

“I fucked with Haechan,” Zoya confessed, nervously biting her lower lip. 

“You did what?” He gasped, eyes widening in shock while his mouth hung open. 

“What you heard, Jaemin. Please, don’t make me repeat it,” she huffed, rubbing her temple.  

“But why?” Jaemin asked. “I mean, you’re allowed to do what you want, but you were the one telling me he was a prohibited zone?” 

“He was, I mean, he is, I just,” she sighed, running a hand in her hair, and looking outside at the street before bringing her attention to her friend. “I guess we both felt lonely and it’s easier to fall in the arms of a friend than a stranger,” she shrugged. 

Jaemin chuckled bitterly, bitterness filling his heart, but Zoya looked at him with a confused expression, thinking for a moment he was mocking her. “Oh, no, I agree. I kinda did the same thing.” 

“Don’t tell me…” Zoya whispered, and when Jaemin lowered his head, giving her a silent answer, she gasped. “You said you weren’t going to be near her like that!” 

“She did it first!” Jaemin justified. “I tried to push her out of my mind, I swear I tried to erase my feelings because even if he was a shitty boyfriend, I still felt wrong for that, but it happened…” 

Zoya was speechless, looking around as if she could find the words somewhere, before her gaze fell back on him, trying to comfort him with a smile. “Tell me he doesn’t know?” 

“He knows, he punched me,” Jaemin facepalmed. 

“Oh, Lord…” she gasped, quickly covering her mouth with her hands. “At least, are you two together? Because I’m not saying I would feel less guilty, but I would.” 

“She doesn’t care about me,” Jaemin whispered. “Not like I care about her.” 

She frowned. “But you said she started it?” 

“It was just sex, Zoya. She’s never been with anybody but Haechan, she wanted to get laid the other night when we went clubbing, but she sucks at flirting, and I simply was there, right time, right moment.” 

The coldness behind his voice made her sad, watching him try to cope with it and pretend he didn’t care, sucked. “But why would you say yes if you love her?” 

“Because I thought it was better than nothing,” he replied before sighing. “And because I thought I could make some magic tricks with my dick and make her fall for me, what a dumbass.” 

Zoya chuckled before reaching for his hand and caressing it. “But… are you sure she doesn’t even like you a little bit? You two are close.” 

“Did Haechan talk about us?” 

“He did, he ranted saying you go around looking like a couple to rub it in his face, but he didn’t talk about the sex thing,” Zoya explained. 

Jaemin rolled his eyes, of course, he was going around saying they acted like a couple. “We don’t, he’s just jealous. Hyejin might not love me, but she’s happy with me, and she’s also happy with herself in a way she simply wasn’t when she was with him.” 

Zoya sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear. “He wasn’t like that when we were dating. I had my insecurities and fears, but he rarely fed into them. I’m not saying he was the best boyfriend ever but… he was.” 

“I know right? He’s not a bad person, but you agree that Hyejin is shining now that they’re not together anymore?” 

Zoya exhaled deeply. “Yeah, it’s true.” 

“Anyway, should we order and stop talking about this? It’s kinda making me sad,” Jaemin chuckled, handing her the menu. 

Zoya smiled, nodding. “Sure, before my appetite disappears.” 

Lunch went on fine, talking about more and less, and somehow never going back to the ‘Hyechan’ topic again, but when they were walking around town and the things to say to each other about the week ran out, Jaemin couldn’t help but ask. 

“So, what will you do with Haechan?” 

Zoya stopped abruptly, taking her eyes off from a bag in the window and looking at him. “Nothing, it was just sex and a very dumb idea.” 

“Do you still love him?” 

She gulped, swirling the liquid in her cup to take her time. “I don’t know. I’m not sure I’ve ever stopped loving him. But I can’t do this to Hyejin… it would be like proving her right, and potentially even putting her against Donghyuck because she’ll think he was in love with me even when they were together.” 

Jaemin hummed. It made sense, it sucked, but it made sense morally. “That’s how you felt when you found out they started dating after you left?” 

Zoya hummed, fighting back the tears. “Yeah… I can’t do this to her.” 

“So we’re fucked?” Jaemin asked. “We might as well give us a try, maybe it was supposed to be like this.” 

Zoya laughed, pushing him away with a light slap on his arm. “I doubt we will work romantically.” 

“No, no, I agree,” he giggled, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as they started walking again. “I just wish it was easier. I wish it wasn’t like walking on a tightrope with the risk of losing friends…” 

“Haechan doesn’t talk to you anymore?” 

Jaemin hummed. “Just greetings, and when we talk about something else, we bicker.” 

“I can talk to him,” she proposed, genuinely feeling sad it all came down to this.  

“No, I’m in the wrong too because I get aggressive and defensive even when he tries to simply communicate. I’m stressed and scared, and I fuck things up too. And if I was him, I wouldn’t trust me anymore… I should’ve said no to her. It was like stabbing him in the back.” 

“Or maybe we should all be looser and let everything find its place? She’s not going back to him, so she might as well come to you.” 

“You just said you can’t take Haechan back because it would be like betraying her trust?” 

“It’s different, I’m his ex, the reason why she already felt insecure for months, years, if we want to be honest. If I get in the picture, I would tear their friendship apart too, and they don’t deserve it. I have to take a step back, breathe, and remind myself that there are thousands of other people in the world waiting for me, and Haechan is not one of these.” 

Another sigh left his lips as he nodded. “Still, if she doesn’t love me there’s nothing I can do. I’m sure she will find her person, and I’ll be happy for her when it happens.” 

Jeno should’ve thought twice before inviting every person of his groups of friends to this small party he threw. It was nothing wild, something to drink, something to eat, and music playing from the speakers. The place was crowded as there were a lot of +1, but the air was still breathable… for some people at least. 

Haechan wasn’t having a great time as he held in his hand the — by now — empty glass and pierced his gaze on Jaemin and Hyejin that had never stopped dancing together since they arrived. 

It should have been none of his business, he could’ve easily looked away and maybe even flirt with anybody else, but he couldn’t. 

“Can you at least tell me if I’ll ever have you in my life again?” 

When Hyejin walked out on the balcony of a bedroom upstairs, she didn’t expect Haechan to follow her. She thought Jaemin was going to tag along and enjoy the peace of the quiet of the night, but instead, a very heartbroken Haechan was standing in front of her. 

“I didn’t want to follow you,” he said, leaning against the window, “but I need to talk to you. I need answers because I hate everything about this, and it’s driving me crazy.” 

“And what do you want to know? I can’t see into the future, Haechan. I can’t promise you or Jaemin anything…” 

Haechan huffed. “See, you always bring him up. And it’s like you do it on purpose to rub it on my face. I hate seeing you with him, not like this, not so soon.” 

Hyejin scoffed. “Then why didn’t you show me you cared when we were together?”

“But I do! I did care, we could’ve solved this by talking instead of cutting things off.” 

“I didn’t cut you off, I needed time. I will never be able to live my life without you, at least that’s what I think, but I opened my eyes and realized that that wasn’t your place.” 

Haechan felt his heart drop. At this point this wasn’t even about love, it was about everything that had been between them since they were little. They were walking on a tightrope with no safety net, something they’d never done before, and the outcomes looked terrifying. “And it’s his? It’s Jaemin’s?” 

“I don’t know,” she said. “He’s just a friend…” 

He scoffed. “Oh, seriously? You treat friends like you treat him?” 

“He cares for me,” she retorted, brain running faster to come up with an answer. “Maybe that’s why you’re mad and jealous, you are afraid he will treat me better than you even as a friend, you’re terrified he will take me away from you. But tell me, are you mad for losing me as a lover or are you shitting yourself for losing me as a friend? As your best friend, as the one that has always been by your side. The one that cleaned your wounds, the one that walked with you every step of your life. Because I shit myself too when I think that maybe we will never have that back when I think that I lost you and there’s nothing I can do to have you back,” her voice came out higher than she wanted to as she tried to fight against her tears and don’t sob like a child, but the alcohol and the conversation weren’t helping.  

Haechan took a step closer. “I don’t know. I wish I knew but I don’t know. I… I miss you and I don’t know what I miss of you. But I hate that you lie to me. You let him kiss you just two seconds ago, I saw you, and I… I never felt more jealous than this in my life. I want to be the one kissing you, I want to hold you, I want to…” he sighed, looking down at the floor. “I want you.” 

Hyejin sniffled, shaking her head. “Do you really? Or is it just because we are the only ones we’ve ever known, and we’re terrified of navigating life in a different way? I… I’m so confused and every time I think I’ve taken a step forward, I see you and it takes me back to the start.” 

“Then let’s give it another chance…” he said, holding her hand. 

“I can’t… Jaemin…” 

“So you see you like him?”

“I don’t know if I do. I don’t want to use him, but I don’t know what I’m feeling. I know I feel good with him, and I know he gets me so much, Hyuck, you don’t understand how easily and quickly Jaemin understands me, you have no idea how he makes me feel. But I’m terrified, I’m afraid I’m rushing everything, and I don’t want to lose him too.” 

“I can make you feel good, too. I used to understand you so easily, what happened?” 

“I don’t know what happened, but something happened and here we are…” she said, looking into his eyes. They were standing so close to each other now, and she felt her heart skip a beat. But this didn’t feel like it used to feel. Staring into his eyes, she could only see blurred lines and holes. Surely there was tension, but she knew it was driven by dumbness. 

“Please, just another chance.” 

She felt the need to lean forward, to kiss him, to feel his lips again, but she couldn’t. “I can’t.” 

“Why? Are you two dating? Or is he the only one having feelings for you?” 

“It’s because I know you don’t love me and it’s just jealousy.” 

“You always know everything, don’t you?” 

Hyejin lowered her head, hugging herself as she felt her heart slump into a void. No, she didn’t know a thing. She needed to let go, but holding onto Haechan was so tempting when he was her safety net her whole life. And right now, he was right there, begging for another chance, just like she wanted before she took her decision of breaking up. 

“It’s always on me,” Haechan said, walking closer to her, pushing her close to the wall, “it’s me loving somebody else, it’s me not caring for you enough, what about you? What about your feelings for him?”

“I broke my back to be with you, I started doing so many things for you, I… I even tried to look past all of our differences to make it work and you only… you didn’t even meet me halfway.” 

“Tell me you love him,” he urged. “Tell me you love him as much as you love me, now. Tell me pushing me out of your life has made you feel better!” He said, crying. 

“I don’t love him, I don’t even want to think about him,” she screamed before impulses took over and she kissed him. Haechan immediately kissed her back, hands cupping her face as he pushed her against the hard frame of the window, bodies pressing against each other. 

A stupid urge that was going to stain that picture with more blood, especially when their hands moved to undo the buttons on their pants, touching each other in a way they haven’t done in months, feeling adrenaline and pain rush in their blood. 

“I can still give you so much,” Haechan whispered while his fingers moved in circles on her clit, still covered by the panties. “Don’t leave me, Hyejin. I need you so fucking much.” 

“I — I need you too, but I — I don’t,” she sighed, head rolling against the hard surface because of his fingers. “I don’t know how I need you.” 

“Don’t think, don’t worry, we’ll solve this. We can do that, we’ve been through so much together.” 

Hyejin nodded, feeling tears roll down her cheeks. Not this time, a solution wasn’t going to arrive for this. Always, but not this time, not so soon, not now, and not like this. 

“Please, let me make you feel good,” he whispered, kissing her cheek, waiting for her answer, a nod was all he got and a small smile. 

But his slender fingers knuckles deep inside of her didn’t feel as good as they used to. The physical pleasure wasn’t enough to suppress the emotional pain they were feeling. The uncertainty, the mess, and the future. Her hands quickly moved up and down his hard dick, trying to focus on him too, trying to feel him more, to make this look like it was, but nothing was like before, it was all different, and they both knew all of this had no meaning, no depth, no feelings if not regrets and fears. 

When the glass shattering echoed in the room, they both brought their teary eyes to the source of the sound. Jaemin was standing there. 

His eyes immediately locked with Hyejin’s as he tried to hold back his tears, wanting to leave the room as soon as possible but somehow feeling stuck. 

They all felt the same way, almost as if every single one of them was in the wrong and had been caught with their hands in the cookie jar. 

Yet, the first one to break this tension was him. 

“I’m sorry, I thought you were alone,” he quickly voiced out before stepping out of the room and closing the door. 

“I — I…” 

“You have to run after him,” Haechan finished for her, moving away from her, looking at the floor, quickly buckling his pants again and cleaning his fingers on them. 

“Aren’t you mad?” 

“Am I happy? No. But mad? For what?” he whispered. “I’m just terrified because I don’t have answers, but I’m pretty sure you have them, so go and finish this.” 

“But we kissed, and your fingers were into me two seconds ago.” 

“And?” 

“And…” she said, lightly shaking her head to urge him to make two plus two and come to a conclusion.  

“It wasn’t like before. It was full of fears and thousands of things we never had the courage to face. Not you, not me,” he sighed, sniffling. “I’m sorry.” 

Hyejin raised her eyes, feeling tears drip down. “I don’t want to lose you.” 

“I don’t want to lose you either but maybe we really need more time off. I don’t think I’ll truly get over you if I keep seeing your face, if I keep seeing you with him.” 

“But what if I’m using him? What if… what if what I’m feeling it’s just momentary? He doesn’t deserve this.” 

“He loves you enough to pay the price for giving it a try. He would’ve left you behind months ago if he didn’t truly care for you. And I hate this so much but… yeah, you’re right, knowing that you’re with him drives me so mad because I know he will love you more than I ever did, and I’ve always been your only one your entire life. I’m not used to being on the sidelines of your life, and I act like a child when it happens.” 

Hyejin sobbed, shaking her head. “But I don’t want to push you on the sidelines.” 

“But you’ve only had eyes for me your entire life, and I’ve drugged myself into that feeling, and now that your eyes are not for me only, I feel lost, scared, and worthless. And it’s selfish, and you’ve already been enough selfless for me, I can’t ask you to be selfless even this time. Go to him, go to him before this thing can get messier.” 

“What if… what if I’m not ready? What if it’s not about him but me?” 

“He still deserves an explanation. I don’t care, blame it on me, Hye, say anything, but don’t hurt him. You were all over him all night, and me and my stupid games lead you here.” 

“Our stupid games,” she whispered. “I still don’t know what to tell him.” 

“Anything. Just don’t hurt him.” 

“Hey,” her voice resonated weakly in the night air as she rested her arms on the terrace, standing next to Jaemin. 

He was quick at wiping his nose and cheeks quickly before coughing and turning to her, nodding his head in a small greeting. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, gaze fixed on him even if he was staring at the road in front of them. 

“For what?” 

“You know for what,” she said. 

“No, I don’t,” he replied. 

She sighed. “That I kissed him.” 

Jaemin shrugged, peeling the crusty paint on the rail. “My fault for not knocking, I hope I didn’t ruin the mood.” 

She sighed. “You… you don’t care?” 

“Why would I?” 

“Because… I don’t know, I thought that we…” 

“We just fucked once, and made out before, it’s meaningless,” he said, a bitter smile on his lips. “I understand, really. It’s not easy to move on from what you had.” 

“You think I still love him?” 

“I don’t care,” he said, taking a step back. 

“You don’t? I thought — I thought you did…” 

“You’re a grown-up, you don’t need me to make a choice. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever been one of the options to pick so, I don’t care.” 

“But you said — you said all those things, about me and him,” she said. 

“Weren’t they true?” 

“Yes, that’s why I broke up with him. Now you’re fine with me going back?” 

“I don’t care,” he repeated sternly, but it felt like he was trying to convince himself. “It’s up to you to decide if it’s a smart choice or not. Who knows, maybe he’ll learn this time.” 

She sniffled, looking down. “So… we were just… just sex and… and kisses?” 

“Kisses,” he snickered. 

“What? Don’t act as if we didn’t kiss more than friends would.” 

“Friends don’t kiss, Hyejin. They simply don’t.” 

“But we did… not only now, we… when we’re cooking together, when you drop me off work, when you…” 

“And you kissed him, well, you were all over him, I wouldn’t even call it a kiss,” he pointed out. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Jaemin shook his head. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. Not my first time being a rebound.” 

“You’re not a rebound.” 

“Well, whatever I am, it’s clear you don’t love me, so let’s just stop with this. it’s clearly just attraction,” he said. “No more kisses from now on.” 

Hyejin shook her head. “No, not from now,” she said, reaching him. “From tomorrow.” 

But Jaemin pushed her away. 

“You can’t force something that’s not meant to be.” 

“How do you know?” 

“What?” 

“That it’s not meant to be, how do you always know everything? Why do you have to be wiser than me? Why can’t you be stupid and do stupid things like kissing me, over and over, until I have no more air in my lungs? Why… why can’t you fight for me?” She asked, feeling her throat close while her eyes got foggy again. 

“You want me to fight?” 

“I want you to want me.” 

“I want you,” Jaemin said, feeling his heart break for his following words, “I don’t love you, that’s the difference.” 

And as Jaemin left her outside alone, the truth started to sink in while she stared at the ghost he left behind. She had lost both loves of her life in one night. 

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[haleigh-sloth]

Do you think if Shigaraki does come back, do you think Hori will be able to retcon the stuff with Deku and Shigaraki? Like Deku never truly understood him and spent the whole story focusing solely on the crying child inside of him rather than saving adult Shigaraki.

Also, there's the conversation between Deku and All Might in the last chapter about Shigaraki, where All Might already told Deku that he is the greatest hero and that he saved Shigaraki even if he didn't save him physically.

So, if Shigaraki does come back, I am not sure how All Might and Deku are going to approach it. Or I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm not sure what Horikoshi will be able to do with the dynamic between Deku/Shigaraki and Shigaraki/All Might. I am just not sure how he will end their storyline anymore.

I do feel like there are signs that Shigaraki is coming back, but I also feel very unsure too.

See....this is where I feel like Hori shot himself in the foot in a few spots.

Deku failed to save his life, and to be honest I don't think we actually know why. Because from what I understand, the second AFO took the body back over, that body was done for. In retrospect, that body may have been done for a long time ago given what we know now.

The conversation they had before he died ("died") is still questionable because we already saw snippets of it afterward that weren't a part of the first time we saw it. So did we actually see all of it? Idk. Deku says he died because he "wouldn't stop being a leader to the LOV" but that...isn't why he died. He died because his body got punched into a million pieces. And his body got punched into a million pieces because AFO was the one in charge of the body. Nothing here really ties together in a sensible way imo.

I also have hang ups on the whole "Deku didn't understand him" piece. While I agree Tomura didn't want to let go of wanting to be a hero the LOV, I don't think it makes sense to let that be the pinnacle of failure on Deku's part. I also don't think Tomura wanting to be their hero was framed negatively, so it still doesn't make sense for that to be what his downfall was and use that to make the protag fail at his challenge. Also, if the way Toga and Touya were handled had gone differently and say, actually leaned into the whole "Tomura saved us" idea, I'd say maybe it could work.

But what we have right now is something where Tomura wanted to be their hero, and he was in a way, but they still needed heroes who would actually save them. Not just save them by accepting them, but save them by pushing them to change and pulling them out of the ruts they were in. And as far as Toga and Touya are concerned, that's what the story went with. It's already happened. They needed someone to save them in every way, which is what Ochacko and the Todorokis did (still a work in progress I'm sure tho). So yeah I get that Deku didn't quite meet him where he was at on that front, I think, but it doesn't make sense to have that be the failing point if that sentiment isn't being shown to be the answer for the other side of things yk? It'd be weird to let Tomura die on an unfulfilled wish? Or like a half-met wish? This is backed up even further by Tomura ending his story with "Tell Spinner Tomura Shigaraki fought to destroy until the very end". Like....the entire point of saving him was to help him realize that he didn't need to destroy everything. That he didn't WANT to destroy everything. AND! Destroying everything isn't what his friends wanted either. For me, it's very unfinished on the Deku/Tenko front. Do I think everything about Deku can be salvaged unless Hori pulls a "Tenko is revealed to be alive and Deku knew he was alive all along but had to play it off like he killed him"? Nope. Unless he does that, well, there's a lot about Izuku that's just kind of...washed away. And I'll take the L on that. Sucks. Idk how he'd come back from that for Izuku's sake tbh. But we'll see. I am still remaining on the hopeful side for everything. I'm not writing everything off yet. I am expecting to have criticisms and complaints by the end, but if a few basic expectations are met then I'll be happy enough and call it a win.

As far as All Might goes....I'm sorry but All Might never once showed any kind of....anything toward Tomura. I know people want to act like he has the same thinking as Izuku but I've never once seen All Might give a shit about Tenko. Sorry. I really have nothing to offer on that front. As far as I'm concerned, he's been written to be more like Gran Torino, just less callous about it.

I have little to no expectations on the Tenko/All Might front. I'm really just putting my eggs in the Deku/Tenko front. I'm at a point where I don't even care if it's done badly....as long as the ending is happy for everyone idgaf anymore. Damn.

[harley-kwinn]

Cheater

word count: 1k

warnings: language, mentions of cheating, (poor) description of unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!)

pairing: alexander skarsgård x fem!reader

author's note: wrote this during work today so sorry for grammar & spelling mistakes, also english isn’t my first language <3 it was originally planned as part of a fanfic that’s why third person and in places description of the appearance was used…hope you enjoy it tho!

Lost in thought, she turned the ring studded with small diamonds between her slender fingers. The weight of it too heavy to bear.

Her amber eyes caught the soft sparkle as the first sunbeams of the day broke inside the stones.

The promise she had made 5 years ago was tied to it and yet it threatened to break more and more with every minute spent with him.

A wave of guilt crushed upon her as she grabbed onto the piece of jewellery. Her husband did not deserve to be betrayed by her like that. He had been nothing but faithful and loving towards her, yet she had lost her heart to this intoxicating man still asleep in the bedroom of the chic L.A. apartment they had spent the night in together.

The soft material of his Armani shirt he had worn last night, clung to her silhouette as she shifted on the toilet seat she was sitting on.

She buried her nose in the clean white fabric breathing in his familiar scent, feeling it blur her mind as the mix of his cologne and sweat filled her nostrils.

Turning her head back to the wall mirror opposite her, she looked at her reflection. Makeup smeared, swollen lips, hair undone and dark circles gave away the short night she's had. If she closed her eyes, she would be able to feel his slender fingers brush over her bare skin and his lips kissing her until she was breathless.

She wondered, if he was worth it all.

The woman did let her gaze linger a moment longer upon her reflection before laying her eyes upon the man on the bed. A soft smile broke from her lips at his sight. His short blonde hair, which had been neatly slicked back the night before, was now a mess while his scruff was almost too long to call it a designer stubble. Resting on his stomach gave her a perfect view on his defined back while his muscular arms rested under the pillow on his side of the bed.

She watched him a few more minutes before deciding to join him and quietly stood up making her way towards the chair her coat was placed on. Slipping the ring back into its pocket, she stepped over the cloth-littered floor and slipped back under the covers. Alex shifted softly, making the sheets fall dangerously low down his hips. He opened his eyes slowly before his baby blue orbs observed her.

"Good morning, beautiful.", his voice was still hoarse and full of sleep. Cracking a smile at her, she couldn't resist to let her hand brush over the side of his face. The soft stubble tickled on her palm.

"Good morning, sunshine.", she whispered before pressing a kiss against his tender lips.

All of the sudden he grabbed her by the hips and began tickling her. She squealed in shock before letting out a laugh.

"Alex, please. You're much stronger than me.", a giggled followed as she squirmed under his grip. The white linen sheet slipped from his body as he rolled on top of her, exposing him completely bare to her.

"Oh, am I?", he teased flashing his pearly whites before attacking her neck with featherlight kisses. It only resulted in her laughing breathlessly while still trying to wriggle out off his grip.

"Alex, please... I c-can't breathe...", she whined desperately gasping for air. Alex stopped his attack.

"Better?", he asked, the Swedish accent slipping through for a moment. After she reassured him that she was okay, he changed their position and made her sit on top of him. Starting to fumble impatiently on the buttons to remove his shirt off her body, she felt him harden between her legs. The familiar pull in her abdomen returned as she pushed his hands away and freed herself off the fabric. As soon as the expensive material had slid down her arms, she positioned herself above him and carefully sank down his length. The sensation of him entering her made both of them moan out loud.

"God, you're gorgeous.", Alex praised her as she was riding him. Her small, round breasts softly bouncing in the rhythm of the speed she had picked up. He sat up before cupping one of her breasts with his right hand and sucking on her light brown pointy nipple causing her head to fall back in ecstasy. His left hand brushed over her stomach down to the heat between her legs where he found the swollen knob between her folds and began stroking her just the way she liked.

"A-Alex, fuck. I'm close.", she moaned with closed eyes while holding onto him tightly. He supported her with his right hand around her waist as he picked up the pace and thrusted faster into her.

That's when she knew he was worth it all.

He was the high she was missing in her marriage and so desperately needed.

He pressed his forehead against her chest while digging his hand around her waist deeper into her soft skin, making sure he'd leave marks.

"B-babe...", she moaned out loud scratching her nails up his back. Shortly before her orgasm would crash upon her, his phone rang.

"Leave it.", he panted begging her to keep going. She kept holding tightly onto him as she let her gaze wander to the screen of the mobile phone. Like a threatening warning her name lit up on the screen. Alexa.

"Leave it...please.", Alex begged her once again before she pushed him off her.

The high she had been chasing was letting her fall heedlessly back to reality.

"Answer the call." She got up, immediately missing the sensation of him filling her out.

"I'm sorry.", Alex apologised quietly before reaching to pick up his phone.

She waved his apology off as she turned her back on him while quickly picking up the black lace thong and his shirt as she quickly dressed before leaving him some privacy.

Tears prickled in her eyes when she shut the bedroom door and made her way towards the kitchen. Slowly but surely she left the bubble she had been living in only mere moments ago.

He wasn't worth it all, was he?

[ladydorian]

Thought I'd answer a couple of these questions that I didn't get to on twt:

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out? Would you do it again? The biggest thing I tried was writing original fic for the first time since college. It seemed like I would always get caught up on something whenever I did this in the past, but instead of giving up as before, I'm pushing through it, just happy to write the story for myself. I don't think it's turning out half bad, tbh.

What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer? I never thought I'd enjoy writing m/f smut as much as I have this past year.

What fandom(s) did you write for this year? I posted a chapter of a 60 Parsecs Modern AU that I was working on, but my life has been overtaken by my OCs, so that probably won't get finished, sorry.

What ship(s) captured your heart? Originally I hadn't intended for Tanya & Roger to be anything but a found family father-daughter relationship, but then I wrote a smutty side story, and a smuttier AU, and now several smutfics later they're my favorite ship. :3

What fic meant the most to you to write? My Tanya/Roger second chances AU fic with the 10-year timeskip. It's called "As Long as We Have Left" and you can read it here.

What fic made you feel the happiest to work on? I'm just happy being able to continue working on "With You, at the End of the World."

What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing? I mean, they're all satisfying, but "On My Mind" has a special place in my heart since it was the first Tanya/Roger fic I wrote.

What fic was the most difficult to write? Did you finish it? Ngl, "With You..." is a struggle at times, but I'm 1/3 of the way finished and I plan to see it thru till the end.

What fic was the easiest to write? I basically banged out "Confession" in a few hours when I should have been doing housework.

What were you go-to writing songs? Got some real good inspo from Yorushika, "Hitchcock", "Thoughtcrime" & "Just a Sunny Day for You" in particular. Also played a lot of postman while I was writing, along with some BBHF and a bit of Kiro Akiyama.

What was the hardest fic to title? "I Love the Way You Look at Me" was originally called something like "shirtless breakfast blowjob fic" in my gdocs.

Share your favorite opening line/Share your favorite ending line: Both are from "Would You Like to Dance?" which is a completely self-indulgent fic that I desperately needed at the time:

The knot at Roger's throat feels ten times tighter than it had an hour ago.

And

Smiling back, he takes her hand and gives it a kiss, before pulling her into his arms once more, foreheads pressed together as they sway their bodies into the night.

Share your favorite piece of dialogue: From chapter 4 of "With You..." - a cute exchange between Roger & Tanya at a cafe:

Share an excerpt from your favorite scene: Chapter 5, Roger is out on a shopping adventure:

What’s something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story? I was genuinely surprised by how much I enjoy writing Vik's parts. I still have some work to do on his character, tho.

If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year? Idk, I just enjoy getting feedback and comments in general.

Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic? I got a Tanya & Roger tattoo to celebrate just getting started on my fic. Maybe I'll get another when it's finished.

How did you recharge between fics? I'm still trying to figure out how to do this.

If this were an awards show, who would you thank? Everyone who reads, clicks, likes, comments, asks me about my silly little characters, I love you all.

What’s something you want to write in 2023? I mostly want to keep working on "With You..." and maybe just a teeny tiny bit of smutfic. We'll see what happens. ^__^

2022 in review

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out? Would you do it again?

What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer?

What piece of media inspired you the most?

What fandom(s) did you write for this year?

What ship(s) captured your heart?

Did you write for a new fandom or ship this year?

What fic meant the most to you to write?

What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

What fic was the most difficult to write? Did you finish it?

What fic was the easiest to write?

What were you go-to writing songs?

What were your go-to writing snacks?

What was the hardest fic to title?

Share your favorite opening line

Share your favorite ending line

Share your favorite piece of dialogue

Share an excerpt from your favorite scene

What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

What did you use to write? (programs, paper & pen, etc.)

If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

How did you recharge between fics?

If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

What’s something you want to write in 2023?

[helliontherapscallion]

Headcanons for SBI Sibling!Parrot Hybrid!Reader

(A/N): ope, went a little overboard with this one (also it’s not proofread, so sorry about any mistakes)

You have wings on your back (the feather pattern depends on what parrot floats your boat)

If you’re a Scarlet Macaw, Blue-and-Yellow Macaw, or Chestnut-Fronted Macaw, then you have black lines on your cheeks and heavy black lines around your eyes (think Hawks from bnha but less pointy)

If you are a Hyacinth Macaw, you have yellow markings around your eyes and mouth

If you’re a cockatiel, you have a killer mohawk/hair that is always very pointy and orange circles on your cheeks (how cute!)

I have a feeling that your hair is incredibly soft

Very sensitive wings

I feel like your teeth would be sharp and your nails would normally be fast-growing, long, and sharp

You tilt your head like impossibly far when you’re confused or trying to hear something better

Like your ear would almost be touching your shoulder

The head movements are very jerky and kinda just happen on their own when you hear something so you would have a lot of neck pain : (

You’re allergic to chocolate : (

I feel like people would underestimate you greatly and think you’re nothing except the ditzy comedic relief

Parrots are actually very intelligent

It bums you out to hear people say things like that behind your back when they think you can’t hear, but you try to not let them get to you

You give the best cuddles and are very affectionate with the people you’re close to (you’re also very cautious of strangers)

You’re also very in tune with the emotions of the people around you

You see someone sad? Head nuzzles and wing hugs

You see someone angry? You deescalate the situation the best you can and make sure they’re ok afterwards

You can dilate and contract your pupils rapidly at will

You may or may not stare at people doing it until they notice you staring or until they get creeped out

You fuck hard with any type of seed, nut, or fruit

When you get excited, it’s literally so cute??

Like you do everything parrots do

Little happy pitter patters with your feet, flutter your wings, your pupils contract and dilate rapidly, you make a ton of mob sounds

You’re easily excitable, hyper, and happy most of the time

It makes everyone happy to see you so excited so they would often go out of their way to get you things that make you happy

“Hey (y/n) I have some extra melon seeds if you want em!”

*Pupils contract and dilate rapidly*

You are loud

Like very loud

And very talkative

Like everyone knows where you are at all times

If you’re quiet and they know you’re around, either something is very wrong or they’re about to get pranked

God forbid you start to scream, your scream is loud enough to deafen someone for a brief amount of time and would leave everyone’s ears ringing for days on end

The mere mention of yours and Tommy's names together in one sentence is enough to give Philza a headache (someone give this poor man a couple of advils and a long vacation)

You two are literal demons when you’re together

Very chaotic relationship

You both like to fuck with people by sneaking up behind them

You would make mob sounds and Tommy would jump them before you two made a break for it

You and Tommy almost got killed by Techno a few times, but in your opinion the look on his face was 100% worth it every time

I feel like you would cart him up and down from the towers he builds

He could relate to being stereotyped as the stupid loud one, so he recognizes right away when you’re sad about it and will try to cheer you up

His main go to is the jukebox

Oh my god if he plays his jukebox around you, you go full send with your dancing

*AGGRESSIVE HEADBANGING*

He would laugh at your awful dancing, but he would join you eventually

Cat and Mellohi go hard

Speaking of music, Wilbur uses you as a walking soundboard

He needs a sound sample? You better prepare for spending most of your day recreating the sound

He needs back up vocals? You spend most of your day listening to his voice and other singers so you could replicate it

You don’t want to disappoint him so you try extra hard to appease his picky music composition

You kinda stress yourself out over it sometimes

When he notices (which he will, he’s very perceptive), he immediately calls it a day and has some sibling bonding time

You both bond over liking to eat strange things

Amazon macaws like to lick clay deposits on riverbanks so you like to have some on you at all times to lick when you get stressed

Wilbur carries some in a bag in his pocket and you carry a bag of sand 

Whenever one of you notices the other has a rough day, you give each other your respective stuff

You have to be sneaky with it though, Philza always takes away nonedible stuff from his children if he sees them trying to eat it (he has good intentions tho)

It always looks like a drug deal 

With Techno, I feel like he would find you incredibly annoying at first with how loud you are

He would actually start to hate you when you started to sneak up behind him 

It got to the point to whenever he would hear your voice he would get irrationally mad and have to leave the house for a few hours

He, like everyone outside your family, would think you were useless and incredibly stupid

That was until he passed Tommy’s room one day and overheard you crying and telling Tommy about your insecurities

He would spend the next few days ignoring you bc he felt bad

He would spend those days contemplating on why he treated you like he did

Coming to the realization that you were likely trying to get closer to him and you were just being yourself, making him feel like the biggest piece of shit

He totally had no idea how to confront you about this, so naturally he went to Philza (that man was literally so happy that his children were gonna start to get along)

He would spend the day gathering golden melons because he found out that you’d never tried golden melons before from Philza

When he approached you one day with an apology and some golden melons, you were suspicious at first

He hated you, so why would he get you these things if he didn’t need anything from you?

Quickly finding that his apology is genuine and he felt incredibly bad for treating you like that over the years

You picked up on his guilt pretty quickly and made quick work to reassure him

He would take you on short trips and would soon find that you’re very useful in detecting mobs and deterring creepers with cat noises

He would never admit it, but he loves it when you would scare Tommy or Wilbur, thinking it’s hilarious 

You also found out that carrying a seven and a half foot tall piglin hybrid was incredibly difficult to do, especially when flying

You two managed to get only about ten feet above the ground before your wings gave out under the strain and you fell on him

“(Y/n) has earned the achievement ‘When Pigs Fly’” flashed on everyone’s comm tablets that day

That wasn’t fun trying to explain to Philza

Philza would be ecstatic to have someone to fly with that he didn’t have to carry

He would take you on flights when you had too much energy 

Sometimes racing each other and competing to do tricks midair (which sometimes you both rope your brothers into judging)

Late night flights when you need to get your mind off from something

Watching the sunrise together in silence for once

Bonding over being able to see ultraviolet light when everyone else couldn’t

You always give him the shiny things you come across and he gives you your favorite snacks

He always fusses over your wings, sometimes preening them for you

Helping each other through molts

Matches your excitement sometimes when you’re really happy

You feel bad whenever you hear stories of how difficult you were as a baby

He’s quick to reassure you that raising you was worth it and you turned out to be a great person

But he wouldn’t be lying when he said you were a difficult infant

Your terrible twos stage? His literal hell

Philza swears he can still hear ringing from whenever you would throw tantrums as a toddler, even years after you left your toddler age

He also still has some scars from when you went through your biting phase (teething was awful for you, his poor baby)

But he’s happy he was the one that raised you, he genuinely enjoys your presence

If you’re in a really affectionate mood he is more than willing to let you cuddle up to him while he reads a book or something

WING HUGS WING HUGS WING HUGS WIN-

When he’s had a long day and is stressed out, you immediately pick up on that and do everything in your power to make sure your brothers are quiet and behaved, try to find out what made him so stressed, and sometimes go out of your way to take care of it for him

You try to be the one taking care of him for once as much because he’s taken care of you so well throughout the years

He can tell if you’re overwhelmed or upset just with one glance at your ruffled feathers and your rapidly dilating and contracting pupils

Immediately pulling you out of the situation and letting you talk it out

Whenever he finds you sad about your insecurities, he points out every part of your personality that he loves

That’s before he hunts down the person that made you feel like this (he really lives up to his title of ‘The Angel of Death’)

Overall, you wouldn’t trade your family for the world

[zombaarbie]

An Unlikely Friend

Eddie Munson x Reader

Hey, everyone! I have some major Eddie brainrot so I had to get this out instead of work on my homework. All feedback is appreciated :)

Synopsis: Reader begins her senior year at a new school in a new town. She was nervous about the transition. Luckily, she befriends the members of Hellfire.

Friends to Lovers!

A/N: Initially, I thought this would be a oneshot, but as I was writing and the ideas started flowing I decided it will have more than one part! This first part is more of an introduction- establishing a touch of back story, getting to know the reader, and setting up the friendship (eventually relationship) with Eddie. These will mostly be fluffy, maybe a dash of angst and smut here and there. I promise there will only be happy endings because I’m a Weenie Hut Jr. and my heart can’t take sad shit. Enjoy!

*GIF is not mine! He looks fine af tho*

(Y/n) (Y/l/n) marched through the doors of Hawkins High School with as much courage as she could muster. She was in a new school in a new town. Everything here was unfamiliar to her. She had friends back home and was generally well liked at her old school. Having to start over with new peers her senior year was not something she was happy about, but when a great job opportunity presented itself to her dad she wasn’t given a choice.

Today was her last first day of high school, and instead of excitedly meeting up with her friends to talk about their plans for the upcoming year and gossip, she was nervously making her way to her locker, alone. Fortunately for her, she had gone to orientation a couple weeks before and was able to get to know the general layout of the school. 

With her class schedule in hand she grabbed what she needed, left what she didn’t, and made her way to her first class; hoping if she got there early she’d be able to find a nice, inconspicuous seat in the back. 

As it turned out there had been a few open seats left in the row farthest from the teacher. None of the tables were completely empty, meaning she would have to sit by somebody. So, she bit the bullet and chose the first one she saw. 

Her table buddy was a bit rough looking, to say the least. But (Y/n) wasn’t one to judge. She noticed he has long, dark hair; a leather jacket with a denim vest over top; and a shirt with a devil on it. The look was complete with big silver rings, ripped jeans, and a chain.

“Is this seat taken?” (Y/n) asked with a small smile. He looked up at her, taken aback for a split second before his expression was replaced with a tight smile. He looked somewhat uncomfortable, and she immediately felt bad for asking.

The boy shook his head, dark curls waving about as he did so, “Go ahead.” He gestured for her to sit. She graciously thanked him and took a seat. She figured his awkward expressions were probably nothing, and she had been allowing her anxiety to read into it too much.

That was the extent of their conversation for the next few minutes. She grew more and more anxious in her seat. The silence between her and her new table mate was feeling louder and louder. Class was due to start soon so she thought now was as good a time as any to try to make a new friend, or at least acquaintance.

She turned to face him, a sweet smile adorning her face, “I’m (Y/n), by the way. (Y/n) (Y/l/n).” He had the same look on his face as before. It was almost like he couldn’t believe she was interacting with him. Again, it was replaced almost as quickly as it came. Along with it came a twinge of guilt. Maybe he was shy and she was freaking him out?

A big, goofy smile appeared on his face as he gave her a small, seated bow, “Eddie Munson, at your service.” This made her giggle a little bit. She had a feeling she would get along with Eddie just fine. 

“It’s nice to meet you Eddie.” She smiled and paused, the pulled out her schedule to show him, “Do we have any other classes together?” He examined the piece of paper briefly, “Yeah, a few of ‘em.” 

This interaction was already making her more and more hopeful that her senior year wouldn’t be a bust. “Oh awesome!” She paused, biting her lip nervously. “Today’s actually my first day here.” Another pause followed by a nervous chuckle. “I came to orientation so I-I’m a little familiar with the layout, but...” She trailed off. To her, it felt like asking for help to find her way around might have been too much to ask of someone she just met.

Luckily for her Eddie was ever the extrovert and had no problem offering a helping hand. Smiling once again, “I can walk you to your classes.” His eyes widened a little and he quickly added, “If you want.” 

Eddie was typically not one to get easily flustered. In this moment, however, he could feel his cheeks heating up. This girl was pretty, sweet, and new. She had no idea of his reputation as “The Freak.” He was hoping that, perhaps, if he made a good first impression she wouldn’t head for the hills when she inevitably heard the rumors that were constantly spread about him.

(Y/n) felt her nerves subside at his offer. “I would really like that” Her smile was genuine. Before Eddie could respond the bell rang, signaling that class would officially begin.

After the first class had ended Eddie made good on his promise to help (Y/n) navigate the school. They had a few classes together that day, but he even insisted on walking her to the ones she didn’t have with him. And by the time the end of those classes rolled around and she made her way to the door- there he was patiently waiting to accompany her to the next. 

Eventually, it was time for lunch. (Y/n) felt the same surge of anxiety that she had felt earlier that morning creeping back up. Sure, Eddie had been very sweet and helped her get where she needed to be, but she didn’t want to expect him to completely take her under his wing. She knew he probably had other friends that he wanted to interact with, as well; and she didn’t want to impose.

After the last class before lunch Eddie was nowhere to be found. She sighed, dejectedly, assuming that he shared the same feelings as she did. 

As soon as she shut her locker she jumped, not realizing that Eddie had been right behind the door. “Jesus, Eddie, you scared me.” She let out a breathy laugh as her hand clutched her chest. “Sorry, (Y/l/n). Didn’t mean to scare ya.” The toothy grin on his face let her know that he was, indeed, not sorry.

“Anyway, I came by to offer you a spot at our table.” He began walking in what she assumed was the direction of the cafeteria. He looked back to see if she followed, slowing down to let her catch up. 

(Y/n) gave him a timid look, “Are you sure? I don’t want to impose or, like, overstay my welcome...” She was a lot more comfortable around Eddie now, and much more comfortable in the school, thanks to him. Still, she didn’t want to take advantage of his kindness or make his friends uncomfortable.

He nodded in response, “Yeah, it’s no problem. You’ll fit right in.” And he hoped she would. He hoped that since they had gotten along so well the same would be able to be said with his friends. Sure, they were a group of nerds, misfits; and she seemed like the complete opposite- pretty, smart, anxious but amiable, and just generally well-rounded, but Eddie could already feel that there was something different about her. 

The walk to the cafeteria was somewhat awkward. (Y/n) had been silent and stuck in her head the whole way there, scared of meeting a whole new group of people all at once. She knew she was stressed for no reason, she didn’t even know how many would be included in the “we” he mentioned earlier. Normally, she wasn’t such a ball of anxiety but the culmination of fear about college applications, moving, a new school, new friends, new teachers, etc. was overwhelming. 

As the two approached the table she let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding in, telling herself to put on her big girl panties and make a good impression. As she and Eddie strode up she could see the boys at the table stare at her with wide eyes. Of course, this did not help ease the tightness in her chest.

Eddie was the first to speak. Clapping his hands loudly, “Sheep! This is (Y/n).” He grins as he gestures towards her. She gives a shy smile and a wave, looking around at the group in front of her. 

Eddie pulls up a chair next to the empty one reserved for himself and pats it as he sits in his own. She takes a seat and sets her lunchbox down on the table. Looking around, she notices that they’re all wearing the same shirt.

“What’s Hellfire Club?” She asks Eddie, sounding quieter than she had meant to. This question is met with the signature goofy grin he had been sporting for most of the day. “Have you heard of Dungeons and Dragons?”

The whole lunch period had been not only an introduction to the members of Hellfire, but also to DnD itself. The group explained what they do and what the game is. 

Thankfully, (Y/n) and the boys had gotten much more comfortable with each other by the time the bell rang. Eddie had decided that she would be sitting with them from now on, and much to his delight (and surprise) she had agreed, rather happily, he noticed.

The end of the day had come quickly. (Y/n)’s last first day of high school was officially over. While she was excited to go home and spend the rest of her day doing as she pleased, she couldn’t help feeling a bit bummed. 

She had enjoyed spending time with her new friend bit more than she’d like to admit, but she figured she should get a start on her studies rather than try to invite herself to tag along with whatever Eddie had planned for the rest of his day.

As she closed her locker and began walking to the parking lot she noticed Eddie making his way over to her. The two chatted for a bit as they walked to her car. Talking about how their days went, and what they had planned for the rest of the afternoon. 

She paused before getting into her car. “Thank you, Eddie, really. I really appreciate you helping me out today.” He felt warmth in his face at her sincerity, “Seriously, it was no problem. I’ll see you tomorrow?” She nodded a bit too eagerly at this, and he let out a soft chuckle.

As he turned to walk away she quickly plopped her bag down on her front seat and began digging around. “Oh, Eddie, wait!” He stopped and turned back to look at her, raising his brow. She quickly tore the corner off a piece of paper from her notebook and scribbled something on it. She mentally cursed herself for how messy her handwriting looked, her hands shook slightly as she wrote; anxiety once again creeping up and settling in her chest. 

“Um...” She began, “This is my home phone number. If you ever wanna talk or hang out or whatever...” (Y/n) tried to sound nonchalant, but she knew her voice sounded unsteady. It would have bothered her more had she not noticed the light dusting of pink on Eddie’s cheeks, or the way his hands lightly trembled as he grabbed the scrap of paper. 

Instead of his signature grin, she was met with a timid-looking smile and a nod. “I’ll take you up on that, (Y/l/n).” And with that he took his leave while she hopped into her car. She hadn’t realized how sweaty her palms were until she grabbed the steering wheel. 

Taking a deep breath, she pulled out of the parking lot and headed home. Unbeknownst to her, a certain metalhead sat in his van staring at the piece of paper the girl had handed him just moments before. He had known since he looked into her sweet (y/e/c) eyes this morning that he was screwed. Only now, he believed he might actually have a chance to become something more than friends.

[thebeautyoffanfics]

Hey there Savi.. could i request a kou,mitsuba and tsukasa x reader where their s/o gets bullied alot?? I've been struggling with it recently and now that school is going to start again im dreading it .. thank you in advance <3

kou minamoto x gn!reader, mitsuba sousuke x gn!reader, tsukasa yugi x gn!reader

a/n: of course!! I’m really sorry that you’ve had experiences like that, but I also genuinely hope that this year will be better! You’ve got this-!! And don’t be afraid to ask for help <3 you’re so so welcome, tho I’m sure schools probably started by now, therefore I’m super sorry for the time this took- and thank you so much for requesting <3

Waaaaaah i’m also sorry if it’s OOC, cos I know Tsukasa’s at least is;;; writer’s block is aaaaaaah-;; I’ve genuinely been writing this since September 19th,,,,

warnings: bullying

word count: 2,044

kou minamoto <3

You glanced at your phone screen, the date flashing up at you. It was depressing. Thoughts of previous years danced in your head, as you shut your phone back off. You currently stood outside of your school, “open house” finally over. School was starting back in just a few days. Your days of freedom could be counted on one hand… this was, by far, one of your least favorite times of the year.

“(Y/N)! Do you still want to walk to the park?” Kou questioned, running up beside you. You nodded, hoping that spending time with your boyfriend would get your mind off of school, and memories related to such. As the two of you began to walk, you could practically feel the question on the tip of Kou’s tongue. He always made himself rather obvious- his hands fidgeted a bit, his gaze lowering to the ground.

“Say, (Y/N)... you seem sad. Is it because school’s starting back?”

You thought for a moment, unsure of how to put it. He certainly wasn’t wrong…

“Yeah, that’s basically it… last year was just… not a good year, haha.”

“Oh? Well, I’m sure this one will be better!! If you want, we can make a list or something? All the bad things about last year can be something we change this year-!”

Despite bitterly knowing that it wasn’t exactly something within your realm of control, you laughed a bit. “That’s… insanely corny, Kou. I didn’t say a terrible idea- just… corny.”

When you glanced up at him, you noticed his red face, as he blurted out an excuse. A moment of fumbling over his words passed, before he gave up, glancing off to the side once more.

“Wh-whatever- I mean, just… like, tell me what’s wrong, if you want to. And I’ll try to help. Alright?”

“It’s really not something either of us can help, Kou.”

“So? I’m your boyfriend,” He seemed a bit embarrassed to say, most likely not used to pulling that sort of card, “If you don’t want to tell me, I can’t make you. But, if you’re alright with telling me, I want to know. Either way, I’m here for you...”

“Ah… I know it, Kou. Honestly, I just… dealt with some bullying last year, so I’m really not looking forward to this year. No matter how much I hear ‘oh, the bully does it to feel better about themself’, it’s just emotionally… hm, awful, you know?”

“Oh… I understand, (Y/N). I do remember some people picking on me, since I have a big brother like Teru- it’s not fun at all. Here!! I’ll stay with you, 24/7! Sit with me during classes, and I’ll hang out with you during free time!” “Thanks, Kou- but we probably won’t have every class together.”

“Then- just tell me if something happens during the class,” He spoke, crossing his arms rather seriously. “I’ll talk with the teacher! Easy peasy!!”

A moment passed, before Kou took your hand, looking at the ground, then back up with you. His eyebrows were furrowed just slightly, his eyes not as wide as they usually were. Kou was being serious- as serious as his sweet mind could let him be. He almost seemed to resemble his big brother even more- when the two were serious.

“If something happens, tell me, okay? I mean it. I don’t want this year to be bad for you- as your friend and boyfriend! Let me do what I can to help, alright?”

You blinked a bit. Kou’s words were so sincere, you felt your heart beat a bit quicker. “A-alright. Thank you, Kou. I really mean it.” You spoke, bringing the boy into a hug to hide whatever sort of expression you were making.

“Of course! You don’t need to thank me, (Y/N). I’m happy to try and help-!”

mitsuba sousuke <3

“(Y/N), if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I’ll give you something to complain about.”

Ah, Mitsuba… he spoke, his arms crossed as he sat next to you, silently noticing your slightly disheveled clothes. Judging by the slightly down look you wore, too many things were now adding up. Something was bothering you, and he was bound and determined to find out what it was.

“Mitsuba, it’s okay, really. Here! Let’s eat, I’m starving!” You opened up your bento box, sliding one his way, and sticking the chopsticks into your mouth. Though you hummed happily, Mitsuba was… in Detective Mode, to put it lightheartedly. Your every move was being analyzed, as he tried his best to figure out what was wrong. Your eyebrows furrowed, as you swallowed a bit harder than usual.

“What’s the point of lying to me, dummy? If you aren’t hungry, it’s probably because whatever is bothering you is ruining your appetite. Talk to me. I’m serious.”

You sighed, feeling as if the food was stuck in your throat. Or maybe your throat simply felt as though it had a lump in it…? Either way, you were painfully aware of the unpleasant feeling. Along with the creeping suspicion that Mitsuba wasn’t going to leave this alone. Was he good at reading people?? Were you just easy to read…? Or maybe, he was just far too accustomed to the way you reacted to things. Able to focus in on the little things, especially when he wanted to. Perhaps it was the talent of a photographer? Being able to read the entire picture??

Perhaps you were thinking too much into it, desperate for a way to get your mind off of the things going on around you.

“I’m just… dealing with some stuff.”

“Well, duh. What kind of stuff?”

You kept your gaze glued to the floor, fiddling absentmindedly with the chopsticks. You knew you could confide in Mitsuba… yet, something about it felt practically impossible. What would happen if you told him? Could he do anything? He was merely a ghost…

“Oi, I asked a question. Listen, and listen well, you idiot- I know I can’t solve all your problems, but I can at least listen- which is what you’d better be doing right now. You listen to me, though who wouldn’t want to is beyond me, so I can at least do the same. I’m not your therapist, but I am your boyfriend.”

Those words danced around in your mind for a bit, as you considered how to put it. For a moment, you simply nodded, letting Mitsuba know you heard- and were acknowledging- what he said. A few more moments passed before you began to speak.

“Lately, there have been some students… picking on me, I guess. It’s… discouraging, and makes school feel like a living nightmare. You’re the only good thing in my day at this hellhole.”

“Oh.”

You tightened your grip on the chopsticks, trying to read Mitsuba’s tone. Suddenly, it clicked- remembering Mitsuba mentioning being bullied for being “feminine” and “foul-mouthed”. He truly, genuinely, understood where you were coming from.

“I see, then… I’ll tell you what to do, (Y/N). Tell an adult, lame-o. I don’t give a flying flip about ‘oh, they won’t believe me’ or ‘what if the bullies blah blah.’ At least try it- it’s hard, but I don’t care about that either. Also, freaking ignore them. Obviously, you don’t want to pay them attention, so don’t.”

“Mitsuba, it’s not that easy-”

“I know. (Y/N), I’ve been in your shoes. Maybe it’s different- I dunno what kind of bullying they’re doing. Still, if you’re good enough for my standards, you know you’re at least worth something. So don’t let those low-lives get you down. I promise you, if I could, I’d give them a piece of my mind. But, since I can’t, just… do it yourself, or something. Don’t endure it, you rat.”

(“Mitsuba, all your insults lowkey feel like bullying-”

“Shut up, stupid-face, you can’t tell a teacher on a ghost. What’re you gonna say?? Waaaah, sensei, school mystery number 3 is calling me names!! Hah.”

“Tsuchigomori-sensei can see you, you know. And he teaches both Minamoto boys!”

“Lalalaaaa, I can’t hear you-”)

tsukasa yugi <3

Tsukasa… knows.

There was no other way to put it. You knew he knew, and you knew he was just waiting. A part of him wanted you to ask him for help- to confide in him, even if it took some pushing. He was… a bit different in that sense- I mean, how was he to know you didn’t enjoy being bullied? Was it the same way he felt when Amane looked at him with such hatred?

“(Y/N)!! What’s with such a sad look?? Did you get a bad test grade?” Tsukasa questioned, floating alongside you as you entered the broadcasting room. You simply shook your head, placing your bookbag on the floor, then standing back up.

“It’s just been a day, Tsu,” You added, taking a seat near Sakura. As you did, she pushed a cup of tea your way, her gaze as it usually was. She looked right through you, as if you were nothing but a ghost. Still, it was a much better look than the ones given by the bullies. Muttering a ‘thank you’, you lifted the cup, fiddling with it slightly.

“If there’s something bothering you, feel free to share it,” Sakura spoke, her gaze staying on you, then finally closing as she sipped from her cup.

“If there’s something bothering you, share it.” Tsukasa added, placing his head on your shoulder and staring at your eyes. His gaze drifted to your hands when you brought the cup to your lips, then over to your throat as you struggled to swallow.

“Runt, if you don’t back away from them, you’ll the the one bothering them,” Natsuhiko spoke, raising his eyebrows at Tsukasa, then offering you a slightly concerned look. His expression was enough for you to know he wanted to know if you were alright- to which you shrugged, reaching up and patting the side of Tsukasa’s face.

“Don’t worry, guys. I’ll be fine, really.”

Sakura pondered for a moment, before standing. “Mitsuba, would you like to walk with me? I should go grab something.”

Mitsuba, who had been sitting off to the side- glanced up, his usual puppy-like expression on his face. “Sure,” He replied, standing up, practically in sync with Natsuhiko.

“I’ll go as well, my lady!”

Oh. She’s doing that on purpose.

Your eyes followed the trio as they left the room, and you could feel Tsukasa’s eyes still stuck on you. The moment the door shut, he spoke. “(Y/N), tell me what’s wrong. You don’t seem to enjoy being miserable!”

“Am I supposed to?” “You’re miserable then? What’s wrong, c’mon!!”

“I didn’t say I was- just that I don’t think many people like it,” You spoke, taking another sip from the tea. The warmth of it made your throat feel hot, but it didn’t help the lump stuck in it.

“(Y/N). Just admit to me what’s wrong, and I’ll do what I can!”

You sighed, not wanting to grow frustrated. Tsukasa was… trying. He just didn’t understand everything- the boy who enjoyed seeing people wear normally unpleasant expressions, of course he wouldn’t personally understand. He wanted to help you, but how could a ghost help? Much less, the ghost of a boy such as him?

“(Y/N)-” “I’m just dealing with some bullies. It’s fine, Tsukasa- I’ll figure something out.”

“I’ll kill them <3”

“Tsu-”

Tsukasa stepped away from you, crossing his arms. “So, (Y/N), you don’t like it when people bully you? I’ll take care of it! Promise!” “Stop it right there, Mr. Only-grants-wishes-for-the-dead. Don’t ‘take care of them.’ I just need to get enough confidence to tell a teacher or something…”

Tsukasa paused, pouting his lips slightly, before nodding. Quickly, he floated back over to you, and trapped you in a hug. His arms wrapped around you securely, making you feel rather safe for being in the arms of such a destructive boy. “Fine. I’ll go with you, then, (Y/N)! I’ll even hold your hand!! And I definitely won’t let those bullies bother you any more~.”

“Tsukasa, please, don’t do anything drastic-” “Whatever you say, (Y/N). You know I can’t go against the wishes of my cute partner~!”

[bay-did-nothing-wrong]

Tell All (Donatello x Reader)

Synopsis: Don and the Reader had been hiding their relationship from his family but they decide its finally time to come clean.

Genre: Fluff mostly, some crack, literally one sex pun

Word count: 1946

Soft.

So soft.

Wasn't his skin supposed to be rougher all together? How were his lips so soft and smooth then? Just another mystery.

Your mouths split with a tiny wet sound, but neither of you was in a rush to go anywhere.

But you should have been.

"Dinner's ready!" came Mikey's energetic shout from somewhere withing the lair. Probably the kitchen.

A soft longing sigh left your lips, and you felt a warm current of air hit your face - Don felt the same.

"We should go." you state, convincing yourself as much as him.

"Do we have to?" he whined breathlessly.

Yes, yes, you did. And he knew that. You both did. Otherwise his brothers and his very observant father will notice you're acting suspicious. They'll probably figure out he wasn't just helping you study for that AP Statistics exam. That is, if they hadn't already.

Your hands slid down his shoulders in an attempt to separate you two but instead they fell onto the top of his plastron, thumbs running softly over the last uncovered skin there, where you knew he was sensitive.

"Hmmm..." it came out as a low growl and it surrounded you on all sides. "You're not helping."

"Am I ever?"

"DONNIE! (Y/N)! DINNER!" at least Mikey stuck to the strict "No entering during study-sessions" rules. That's good to know that he can be intimidated into compliance. Or blackmailed... Point is, it worked.

Donnie's head falls in defeat, forehead leaning on yours for support.

So glad he took those goggles off. You can see more of him this way.

He sighed again, defeated - he was too smart to not figure out that at some point your behavior will raise suspicion. His head lifted back, and turned to the door.

"Coming!"

And your cheeky ass giggled at that.

"Oh, Donnie." you teased, "I haven't even started."

"Pfft. " chuckle, and a snort.

He really did like your dirty puns.

The man took your hand into his cool giant one, somehow providing comfort like no other, as he pulled you to the lab entrance. But once at the door you had to split. It's part of the arrangement.

His family shouldn't know about you.

You two decided at the early stage of your budding romance that keeping the whole thing on the down-low for a while was the smartest choice. It would prevent his brother's jealousy, it won't incite any fights, it won't change their relationship with you and you'll get to feel things out at your own pace - no pressure or prying eyes.

Just you.

But there was a list of downsides too. For one, neither of you was a great actor, Don was even shit at lying, so you'd had to take extra steps to remain as friendly-looking as possible. Then there was the trying-to-set-you-up-with-Vern thing that April was doing and every time the topic came up you could act regular-disgusted but not in-a-happy-relationship disgusted, and so would your favourite turtle. And then there was the hiding, coveting each other in the lab or in small stolen moments in the lair, and the lying about going topside to do recon or install something somewhere, the covering up - no, of course Donnie wasn't with you at your place, he must have gone somewhere else.

You were quite honestly sick of it. You were ready to tell his brothers. You were ready to tell the world.

"We should tell them." his voice was once again low, quiet as if to preserve the last few moments of the secret to yourselves.

Once again you were entirely in sync despite being vastly different.

He was a genius, you, decidedly, weren't.

He was really into sports, you weren't.

He was a 6'8 ninja turtle raised underground by a rat dad, and you obviously were not.

And yet somehow, you clicked.

"I agree."

At that point you knew that your approval would kick into gear the most destructive process in Donnie's mind - overthinking.

Your hand immediately darted out and grabbed one of his pulling it up to your lips and kissing the knuckles in reassurance.

"We'll figure it out."

But still, you had to split. Even if you did plan to tell them, there would be a time and a place for that.

"What took you so long? The lasagna got cold." Mikey was positively outraged - as much as he could be - by your lack of interest in his usually excellent cooking.

"Sorry, Mikey." you butted in, trying to save the day, "There's just something about Inferential Statistical Analysis that I can't wrap my head around." Bullshit, you knew exactly what it was and how it worked - it's part of the basics but he didn't need to know that.

"Still smells great though!" Don sounds cheerful enough even though you'd just agreed to break the fragile peace in your relationship just a minute prior. He was getting really good at the lying part. Too bad it won't be needed for much longer.

Dinner was as uneventful as it can be around five mutant ninjas. Master Splinter asked about your day, you told him about the nearing finals season and he offered some comforting words after which the conversation bounced around the rest of the family in a natural progression.

Once you were full, and once all of Mikey's delicious food had been virtually inhaled by the four giant men around you, you got up to get the dishes to the kitchen and help clean up. It was only fair, after all.

Apparently it was Ralph's turn to wash dishes and there was no wiggling out of that because Splinter said so. Well, at least you can dry them.

And dry them you did, meanwhile casual conversation about whatever kept flowing and you figured you won't be able to go back to the lab and do some more 'Statistics'.

You were just drying and putting away the last plate when a thiqq arm stretched over your head to reach a cupboard you couldn't even get to in your dreams.

Your head whipped back, eyes landing straight on some hard looking chest plates under a pair of suspenders. And then you looked up and saw Donatello, the cheeky shit, with a pop tart in his mouth and a shit-eating grin around it.

"Oops, sorry, (Y/N), didn't see you there."

Oh, I'll give you Oops, didn't see me, my ass. You'll see.

He was being unusually open about his closeness to you and that was less then an hour after you'd decided to come clean.

He was ready then.

"I was planning on checking out the meatpacking District tomorrow." Leo was going on about that idea he had to check out some building or another, Mikey was wiping down the table, and Raph was finishing up the dishes, and for once Don was just there chilling.

His treat was gone, meaning he ate it all, he seemed relaxed, his shoulders loose and shell leaning on the wall.

No time like the present.

"You guys, I'm gonna head out. I've got work tomorrow and after that I've got a study group to attend so, I should head to bed."

"You need us to walk you home?" Leo asked more out of courtesy, he knew you lived close and would usually decline.

"No, no, that's okay." you replied, looking for your bag and jacket where you'd left them near the kitchen table.

"Aaaw, you're leaving already? Well, at least you ate." Mikey quickly swept you into a hug goodbye and turned back to sorting his ingredients in the cupboards.

"Thanks to you, Mikey Steward." to which he giggled in response.

"See you tomorrow, shorty." Raph waved as he turned to get a beer from the fridge.

"Stay safe out there, okay?" Leo always the guardian, warned you for the hundredth time, again just out of courtesy.

And then you walked to where Don was leaning on the wall, took his chin in your hand and pulled him down.

Oh, shit, am I actually gonna do this!?

Your lips met, your heart pounded, the room became super hot and that wasn't just because of the brilliant piece of man-candy in your hands. You could feel their eyes but then again that was the whole point.

A loud dramatic intake of air was heard, a drop of something metallic and then silence.

Your face pulled away from him, eyes opening slightly to look at him, as your weight fell back onto your heels from standing on your tiptoes. His face had that same dazed, satisfied-yet-hungry look that he usually had whenever you'd had to break apart.

He tasted so sweet, you just had to lick your lips at the memory.

"I'll see you tomorrow." you whispered, that was all you could force out in that moment.

"See you tomorrow." his voice was as soft as yours even though his brothers could probably hear.

You fully pulled away from your man, now certain that there'd be no secrets between you and the ninja clan.

You were not an actor, you quickly got embarrassed with your performance, however brilliant it may have been, and speedily scammed to pick up your belongings and jogged outta there.

You turned one last time, because something in you said you should and what you saw was truly a sight.

All three of Don's bothers with their mouths hanging open and Splinter peeking out of the door to the dojo with his eyes like saucers and then there's Donnie - the image of peace, hands in his pockets, a soft smile on his lips, now shiny from your lip gloss, and looking you straight in the eye as you retreated.

"Bye." you shout to no one in particular and scramble for the exit.

-_-_-_-_-

Phone - charging

Alarm - set

Pajamas - on

What's missing then?

Ding!

Your phone notified you that someone was requesting your attention and you were more than happy to find out it was your man.

'Hey, Laika' Oh lord it so got you giggling like a schoolgirl when he called you that.

'Hey, Tyson' and then he told you that he loved to be compared with the biggest name in astrophysics today.

'How did it go?' you felt super bad for bailing on him but at the same time there was this relief that came with the cat being out of the bag.

'Surprisingly well. No one was mad that we kept it a secret.' well, that's good. You won't have to jeopardize your relationship with the boys. 'Dad still wants to talk to you tho'

Ah, well, that's to be expected. Even though Donnie is an adult, the were still a very tightly knit family unit so, you supposed that something like that would be a pretty big deal.

'That's fine, I'd do whatever'

'I wish I could kiss you rn'

It honestly shocked you how chill about it he was. Probably because he wasn't being grilled for information anymore, neither of you would have to lie anymore, and because he could now tell Vern to fuck right off, with no worry about how it would look.

You were so looking forward to being solely and entirely his.

'Tomorrow we start anew'

He had a point, things would change. But hopefully not between you.

'Can't wait to meet you for the first time again lol' you didn't know if you were being funny or just cheesy but it felt right.

Despite your smile, your eyes started drooping, your breaths slowing and you felt the exhaustion of the day slowly hug you like a blanket.

'Goodnight'

'Goodnight, (Y/N)'

[starlightshadowsworld]

Stella witch fairy hybrid

Now Stella is able to keep her secret for the whole of season 1 and the majority of season 2.

It wasn’t too hard, really just hiding why she was able to be okay underground was the real tricky part but she got through it.

Not that Stella wanted to lie.

Not to Bloom, the other winx or Brandon.

But she was afraid.

The only ones who knew were her parents.

And with all the stuff the trio had pulled…Stella was afraid they would look down her.

That they wouldn’t trust or want to be her friend anymore.

And if word got out the Princess of Solaria was part witch….

Tho I said most of season 2 and not all.

All pieces of the codex had been gathered, Darkar now resembled a phoenix and feeding him the ultimate power was Bloom.

Twisted with darkness and nothing like the Bloom Stella knew.

The rest of the Winx we’re getting tired out, the boys were struggling and the fusion of the trix lay on the ground defeated.

Stella knew than and than she had to do it.

Charmix wouldn’t be a enough on it’s own.

And so she stood.

"Aww the little fairy is back to play, tell me girl how do you think you’ll stand against me" cackled Darkar amused.

Stella twirled her staff and slammed the end on the ground before her. Golden light shot out in all directions, one hitting Bloom’s arm causing her to break her concentration.

Bloom glared but Stella held her ground, standing tall.

"If you want ultimate power, you’ll have to go through me."

"You wish to die here so badly? So be it" said Darkar, charging towards her.

Stella deflected his attacks back at him with her staff, playing defensively and making him and Bloom jeer and taunt her.

Making them confident.

Making them foolish.

"People underestimate the moon my dear, they think it not as powerful as the sun."

But they are equals." Said Stella, frowning.

Luna chuckled "as are witch and fairy and yet only few believe that."

They were both surrounding her and barely paying attention. Seeing as they thought her so weak, they were toying with her…underestimated her.

And it would be both their downfalls.

Stella clasped her hands together dropping her fairy form.

"Aw given up already" jeered Bloom.

Stella smirked "never"

She thought of Bloom, her Bloom her best friend. She thought of her friends who were fighting for their lives, for Brandon who hadn’t known what she was doing but covered her back anyway.

This was for them.

Silver and gold light poured out from her, illuminating her in an almost ethereal light.

She was back in her fairy form but something was different.

Her hair had silver highlights, a moon necklace on her neck.

The insignia for moon and sun adorned her palms.

She’s slammed them together, powering up her energy and launching it out into the air.

They were to slow to move, few things moved faster than light.

Darkar was slammed into a pillar and Bloom was knocked away from him.

The other winx got to her immediately, leaving Stella with Darkar.

He got up and glared "what are you…?"

"I’m Stella, princess of Solaria…and I’m going to be the last thing you ever see…"

She glared, gathering her magic, both aspects of it and channeling it into her staff.

"…A fairy and a witch…the moon and the sun itself. If I had known I’d have had you join me."

"I would never join you.”

She released her magic, blasting it all through Darkar. A being of pure darkness that burned as the heat of the sun and the chill of the moon both hit him at once, their lights destroying him from within.

The castle began to fall, his beasts falling with him and the Trix had disappeared.

"Stella!"

Stella turned around seeing Bloom looking at her with wide eyes and concern.

Her bloom was back.

Stella smiled, exhaustion hitting her now she knew that Bloom was safe…that they were all okay.

"We’re okay..we’re all okay" she said.

And than she was falling, falling into the darkness.

Brandon caught her as she passed out, running out with the rest as they flew out of this wretched place.

Darkar was no more.

Stella was out like a light, leaving everyone to question just what they had seen and heard.

[tetralea]

Ski date

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader

Word Count: 6.2 K+

Warning: idiots in love, awkward flirting, kissing, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (female recieveing), 

Summary: Tom invites you to join him and Harry skiing, and you say yes. Not so secretly hoping one of you finally makes a move and ends the months long mutual pinning finally. 

It’s very fluffy on main, with some good amount of smut. There is an entire scene of smut I didn’t include, it’s very long already, so if you are interested let me know and I might write it. 

A/N: I love skiing, you might be able to tell it after reading this. The reader is skiing, because I do, so that’s that. Thank you for everyone who encouraged me on writing this. I hope you’ll like it. 

It’s been fairly long since you got to go skiing, so when Tom asked if you wanted to join him and Harry, you said yes, way too fast. 

So here you were, feeling at the top of the world as the Sun was shining, on the beautiful snowy mountain tops all over the horizon. It was the definition of freedom. The mountains, the snow, you skis and speeding down on the slopes until your thighs were burning. 

And now, a pair of deep brown eyes, which you caught staring at you from time to time, only added to the thrills. 

Your close friendship with Tom slowly grew to an endless mutual pining, slowly driving everyone around you crazy, but the both of you played safe, not daring to make a move until you worked together, but up in the mountains everything felt so different. 

His eyes were shining just a bit more bright, his smile seemed just a bit more wide and carefree and the wind carried his clear, happy laughter a tiny bit further. 

‘How about a hot chocolate there?’ You heard Tom’s voice behind you as he walked next to you easily in his boots. His gloved hand was pointing to a small, bright coloured place at the still sunny part, halfway down to the valley. 

‘Sounds good to me.’ You nodded, turning to Harry and seeing his unruly curls moving around on his forehead as they peaked out of his helmet. 

‘Sure, you guys are so lazy tho, we just had lunch.’ He complained before dropping his board on the snow. After a few seconds of shuffling around all three of you were ready to race downhill enjoying the more than beautiful spring weather and the almost empty slopes. 

‘Can you please bring me one?’ You asked Tom, while getting rid of your coat and helmet and settling into the comfy sun chairs. 

‘What do I get if I bring you one?’ He asked with a playful, almost flirty tone. 

Maybe it was the place, or maybe it was the way he got rid of his helmet running his fingers through his messy brown curls, giving you a challenging smile, you felt brave. ‘What do you want?’ 

He leant down, to get his wallet out of his backpack, and to get closer to you, the tension between the two of you almost visible as he looked at you, biting his lips slightly. ‘Just a small kiss, darling.’ His voice was low, a lot more quiet as he tilted his head a little when his long finger touched his skin to show you the exact spot on his cheek he had in mind. Tom’s eyebrows were high as he was waiting for your answer. 

‘Alright, love,’ you emphasised the pet name for him, ‘with whipped cream, without a straw.’ His eyes were locked to yours until he straightened himself and looked at Harry, who was trying to pretend that he found something very interesting on his phone, and not paying attention to your shameless flirting. 

It was hard to tell how much time passed when suddenly the Sun was gone and you opened your eyes to see what happened, not remembering any clouds from earlier. 

Surely it wasn’t a cloud, but Tom was standing in front of you with a satisfied grin and two mugs of hot chocolate. 

You reached out to get yours but he just shook his head with a small laugh, making Harry roll his eyes. Tom leant down and placed the mugs on the small table next to you to free his hands and to get to the same level with you. You tried to blame the non-existent wind for the slight blush on his cheeks, and you told yourself you only imagined the anticipation in his eyes as he looked at you. 

Nonetheless you sat up straight as he was kneeling on the wooden floor, both of your hands sliding onto his cheek to hold his head steady as you pressed a small, but firm kiss to his skin. It was only a brief moment, but you felt your heart racing against your ribs and your breath shaking a bit as you let him go, his cheeks now definitely red and blushing. 

‘Thanks.’ Your voice was merely a whisper as you gave him a soft smile before turning to your drink. 

Harry was already battling with the whipped cream on the top of his drink, trying his best not to let it drip onto his fingers. Now seeing that you and Tom wore done with flirting again, he started a story. 

Long minutes gone by as the three of you just enjoyed the sunshine and the sweet beverage, you tried your best not to burn your tongue, which Tom did of course with the first sip immediately.

Focusing on the people sliding next to the small terrace and just marvelling at the giants of the nature surrounding you almost made you unaware of the pretty brown eyes lingering on your face, drkingin in every smile, every small sigh, every movement you made. 

But you turned as he started to talk, catching him looking at you again. 

‘Um… your face.’ Tom started unsure of how to explain himself, making Harry lean forward seeing what was happening to your face for himself. Now they were both grinning ear to ear, motioning around their own mouths trying to explain to you exactly where the chocolate strained your skin. ‘Wait.’ Tom chuckled a bit reaching forward with a small piece of napkin and he steadied your head with one hand at the back of your neck, while the other started to rub at the strain. You giggled at his not too gentle movements, before his pretty face lit up as he checked and noticed that he successfully removed the chocolate. ‘Now, it’s looking good.’ He said proudly leaning back to let Harry check as well. 

‘Yepp, all gone.’ He gave you a thumbs up and a smile. 

Tom let go of you and you started to get ready for the last few hours of skiing before the slopes closed. 

The three of you always took turns whenever you got to a two seat chair lift, it was always someone else alone. Now you rode it with Tom for the third time in a row, Harry always being there first and leaving the two of you alone or searching for something in his bag telling you to go together. It was more than suspicious, why would anyone search for anything in their bags before the lift ride. He just tried to give you, any of you, that final push to make a move finally. A huge grin spread on your lips to the thought. 

On the other hand you felt Tom sitting just a bit closer to you every time, blaming it on his snowboard that his knees were pushed to yours, during the whole ride. Whenever you crossed the valley and it got a bit more windy he encouraged you to scoot closer to him, leaning to his shoulder, finding shelter against the sharp wind. Not like it helped much, but you wouldn’t have admitted it for your life. 

You enjoyed this closeness just as much, the small flirting, the small beaming looks and every time he was caught, he didn’t look away immediately, he held your gaze for a second, before smiling a bit and closing his eyes giggling. It felt like being a teen all over again. 

It was nice, almost innocent. 

You tried your best around Harry, not to bother or annoy him too much, but after the fifth ride together you didn’t need an excuse to press your thighs to his or lean to his shoulder, like it was all natural. Just chatting and telling stories, planning your next slide or arguing if snowboarding or skiing was better. 

‘Look, look at him!’ You spoke fast in the friendly but heated argument as you pointed to a guy completely ruining the snow as he was just standing on his snowboard, sliding down in a way he pushed the snow from the surface completely. 

‘Okay, sure, but people who can snowboard are not that bad.’ Tom threw his hands in the air defending himself. ‘We don’t do that much damage, like some who can’t ski and just push the snow with every turn.’ 

‘Oh, so you can snowboard well?’ You asked with a playful smile turning your head back from the slopes to face him. 

‘I do.’ He answered confidently and licked his lips when he looked at you, suddenly hyper aware of how close the two of you sat, how close your face was and that your eyes shamelessly followed the movement of his tongue. His breathing hitched, eyes involuntarily drawn to look at your lips, red from the cold wind. 

He wanted to kiss you. He wanted to kiss you so badly at that moment, but you were out in the open, God knows how high, and he doubted anyone knew it was him in that gear, he didn’t dare to risk it. Fuck this. 

His hand moved a little finding yours, holding it reassuringly through the thick material, while he still couldn’t look away from you. 

‘I-, I think you are really pretty.’ He whispered, voice raspy and barely audible. It was a nice save, you chuckled closing your eyes, because you couldn’t hold it against his intense gaze anymore, there were too many things in there, neither of you could act on it at that moment.

‘Thank you.’ The corners of your mouth turned up and your lips were pulling so wide it almost hurt. You felt your cheeks heating up, his grip around your fingers just growing a bit stronger, holding on until you had to lift the bar to exit the lift. 

Soon you were heading home, all three of you starving. 

The next day you started early, still a bit sleepy, your muscles a bit sore from the previous day’s skiing but you didn’t mind. 

It was the third day and you managed to go without falling, but it didn’t last much longer. You arrived at a rather steep part, and yet you weren’t exactly a beginner when your skis slipped on the ice hidden in the shadowy slope you lost your balance and the last thing you heard was Tom yelling your name, then it was a lot of snow in your face. You felt yourself sliding down, the pist being way too steep to just stop, your skis were long gone, and even tho you tried your best to get a grip on the snowy icy surface, it didn’t help. You were sliding down like a ragdoll, looking up, seeing Harry and Tom collecting your skis carefully following you until the slope wasn’t steep enough and you finally stopped. 

They stopped on your boths sides with a sharp sound before sitting in the snow next to you. 

‘You ok?’ Tom asked, just to be sure. Your fall was more comical than dramatic. 

‘Yeah, yeah.’ You laughed, letting your body relax a little against the hard surface. ‘I think I just took the lazy route.’ You were joking, almost drinking the air as you tried to calm down your laughter. ‘However my everything is full of snow.’ You whined a little, unzipping your coat trying to get rid of it the best you could. The guys helped to swipe it off on your back and you were ready to start over.

‘Maybe you should change into something dry.’ Tom said with a bit of a hesitation, unsure of all the crazy ideas in his head. ‘We still have a few days here, it wouldn be a shame if you caught a cold.’ He tried to get his own back. All of you knew that this happens and your clothes weren’t even wet, but he had that same look on his face as last time. That anticipation. 

You agreed and a few minutes later Harry stayed on the terrace of the hotel until the two of you went up to get you changed. The reason why Tom went was also unknown, but no one questioned it. 

You quickly got rid of the coat and the pulover you were wearing, leaving you in your technical pants and secondskin on the top. 

Tom on the other hand seemed to be frozen on the spot, his plan seemed to end there, having the two of you only in somewhere private. 

‘Umm, can you please see if it’s wet on my back?’ It was all just playing along, everything on you were so dry, but you weren’t stupid. 

‘Yeah, sure.’ Tom’s steps were quick as he walked to you. He reached out only using the back of his hand to see if the material was wet, he dabbed the top of your back a few times before his other hand was moving hesitantly to your hip and his other palm now slid across your back, until the top of your technical gear. ‘This looks good.’ He said slowly with voice low, both of his hands resting on your hips, holding you gently. You didn’t move, just whispered a small thank you, before you felt him slowly turning you around. 

Your breathing hitched as you looked at him, your hands immediately finding support on his forearms. His fingers were drawing pretty circles on your second skin as they moved up to your waist, he stepped a little closer, his eyes never leaving you, he licked his lips again and he saw you letting out a small sigh. 

‘Yesterday on the lift, there was something I wanted to do.’ You were clinging to his words, your breathing becoming even more laboured, suddenly all the skiing clothes becoming way too hot for this, but you couldn’t care. ‘I still want to.’ His voice was a bit shaking, only a bit louder than a whisper. 

‘Yeah?’ You moved closer pressing your chest to his, your hands traveling up to his shoulders. ‘I think I know what you are talking about.’ It was difficult to look at him as you tilted your head, merely an inch away from his lips. 

‘Good.’ Tom breathed the small word onto your lips as he pressed his lips to yours. He was gentle, slow, not wanting to rush for a second, just enjoying the feeling of your lips against his own, and the small sigh you let out as his hands moved up, holding you securely in his arms. It seemed to break his patience as he pressed you to his body, his hands moving back to your hips and up to the back of your neck, he opened his mouth cueing you to do the same as he deepened the kiss. It made you shiver as he bit your bottom lip and his tongue finally found yours. Now it was his turn to shigh into the kiss as your fingers ran through his hair pulling on the soft, slightly damp curls a bit. 

It seemed like neither of you wanted to let go, whenever the kiss slowed down, changing back to small kisses and pecks one of you started it all over again. He already pulled the secondskin out of your pants, his hands finding the smooth, warm skin underneath, and he wanted more, so much more. Maybe it was too big of a step right after the first kiss, maybe, but he wanted you, naked, running his hands freely on your skin, feeling every inch of you close to him. It was his low growl and the way he firmly pushed you to the nearest wall, which brought back the both of you. 

‘Harry is waiting for us.’ You tired to reason, but your raspy voice and swollen lips weren’t too convincing. 

‘I know. I know.’ Tom stepped back, separating your bodies from each other. ‘Just don’t put back the same pulover. That would be suspicious.’ He bit his lips with a proud smile. 

‘I think he knows what’s going on.’ You laughed as you finished dressing. ‘No one ever changes their clothes in April after falling.’ You squinted at him, stepping way too close. 

‘Was that so obvious?’ He asked, being fake surprised, chasing after you in the room. 

‘Yeah, we are kind of obvious for a few months now.’ Leaning to the wall was an open invitation and Tom took it gladly. 

‘Good, because this was the last time I encouraged you to put more clothes on.’ His excited voice was mixing with a devilish smile and he gave you no time to respond. He caged your body and kissed you feverishly.

‘So bad?’ You asked with your eyebrows high, grabbing the back of his head and pulling him back to kiss you more. Feeling his body pressed tightly to yours, your fingers dragging across his back, trying to feel him more, whimpering in disappointment when you felt how good those baggy pants were hiding his hard on but it only encouraged him further.

‘Even worse.’ He knew even if he tried he couldn’t make you feel how bad the situation was through those pants, on the other hand he could walk out that door, no one noticing the massive hard on he had. 

‘You know-,’ you started staring up into those lust blown brown eyes, ‘when we come up all of my clothes were dry, but now-’ you never finished and seeing him staring at you wide eyed for a moment before slipping out under his arm, your hand on the door handle, forcing him to behave, just made your panties even more damp. 

Harry being the angel you never thought he would be, never brought up why the hell it took you fifteen minutes to change a pullover, instead he just asked if you were ready and walked out of the building. 

You saw the looks Tom was shooting towards you, changing between adoration and lust, and you saw the way he wanted to show off to you on the slopes, it was adorable and nerve wracking at the same time. 

Whenever he got you alone in the chair lift, Harry not being so charitable as he was last time, he held your hand through the gloves, or found excuses why he needed to take it off and swipe a non-existent stray of hair out of your face, or clean an also non-existent spot above your lips with his thumb. It felt cute and romantic. Other times he also held your hand, but a bit more firmly, massaging it impatiently, his eyes were dark, passion and want was mixing in them. These times he never said a thing, but you claimed to find a spot above his lips, pressing your thumb to his mouth in the process. He opened his mouth, showing you his teeth before biting on your finger a little and sucking it into his mouth briefly. 

It was hard not to find another excuse to pull him up in the room and turn all the tension and longing of these last months into reality. 

You still enjoyed skiing and the view and all that, but now he could steal your focus even easier, and you felt your heart stop for a second when you saw him fall. You helped him up from the ground wanting to pull him in a hug and kiss him but it was just out of the question.

By the end of the day you were going crazy in wanting to kiss him again. His pretty face being all rosy from the wind, his brown eyes lighting up every time your eyes met, and his messy curls made him ridiculously lovely and hot at the same time. 

You offered the chance to Harry to go and have a shower first, maybe a bit more impatiently as you wanted. 

‘Sure, thanks. I’ll knock before coming back to the room, just in case.’ He snorted before closing the door behind him. 

‘Well, at least we don’t need to pretend anymore.’ You shrugged, but Tom was already gone in his head. He crawled in your bed, both of his hands on your cold cheeks, kissing you urgently. He was kneeling almost above you, so it only felt natural to lay down on the mattress to make it more comfortable to even out your momentarily height difference. Both of you were impatient. His hands were roaming under your secondskin in no time as his tongue was dancing with yours. He was laying next to you and a bit on your chest, his big warm hands setting your skin on fire, while he sucked your bottom lip into his mouth, making out with you like you were teenagers, fooling around, not really knowing what’s going on just enjoying the sensations. It made your head spin, and your skin tingling, never wanting to let him go. 

Except that you weren’t teens anymore, you were exactly knowing what was going on and what’s next. Your hands found the hem of Tom’s top and started to push the tight material up on his toned body. He sat up and got rid of it, dropping it on the ground. Not wasting any time pulling the one you wore over your head as well. It left you only in your sports bra in front of him. 

‘I wanted to do this for so long, darling.’ He mumbled as he laid back, now between your legs, his hard on very prominent and pressing to your core through the thin material of the pants you were still wearing.

‘Much better.’ You breathed and started to kiss down on his neck, your hands freely roaming on his wide back as you rolled your hips to feel him even more. 

Tom moaned into the kiss, returning the favour. It felt mind blowing feeling his weight on top of you, the warmth radiating from his body, his bare skin touching every yours and the outline of his cock pressed to your core. He returned to kiss your lips for a second before trailing down, his hot mouth and tongue leaving wet, red spots across your neck and collarbone. 

‘I need you, Tom.’ As your body was heaving under his, rocking to compliment his movements, to make you feel more, your mouth pressed to his round shoulder, sucking and kissing, tasting his skin over and over. ‘Do you think it would be very obvious if we had a shower together?’ You asked in your final desperation. You were barely wearing any clothes, yet it was still too much to feel him in the way you longed for. 

‘Yes.’ He moaned into your neck as your hands slid down onto his round ass cheeks and grabbed them. ‘But at this moment the only thing I care about is to be inside of you.’ He moved back up to your mouth until his hand pushed under your sports bra to cup your breast. Just as he was about to roll your nipple, you heard Harry knock and even through the haze of your passion that small voice found its way, screaming at you, to stop and respect his only request. You pushed Tom away gently, your eyes pleading to him to behave.

‘Thanks.’ Harry nodded, as his eyes took the state the two of you were in, and spearing yourself from any further embarrassment, you rushed into the steamy bathroom, closing the lock, just to be sure Tom didn’t follow. ‘So, you and her, finally?’ He asked cautiously. 

‘Yes!’ Tom’s victorious grin spread across his whole face making Harry let out a small ‘wohoo’.

‘But you are sleeping in separate beds, because I am not waking up in the middle of the night for the two of you going at it.’ He raised his fingers, warning his older brother. 

‘You sound like a mom, like it would stop anything, man.’ Tom grimaced and tried to doge the pillow Harry was throwing at him with a disgusted face. 

‘Seriously, I can go to the sauna and the pool if you ask me to, I just don’t want to see or hear anything.’ He made a gagging face and flopped onto the bed starting to check the pictures he took during the day. 

The two of you tried your best to behave, but now that touching each other and kissing weren’t completely off limits you got carried away sometimes. But the feeling of Tom’s hand on your thigh or around your waist as you were playing some games warmed your heart, that ‘finally’ feeling slowly settling in your chest. His kisses were playful, loving, unable to get enough of you, he stood behind you, holding your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder as you fed him the first bite of peanut butter jelly sandwich you quickly made. Harry just turned his camera on silent mode, so he never bothered your sweet moments like this, genuinely being happy for the both of you. 

It wasn’t difficult to fall into small acts like this, mostly in this environment. It was calmness itself. The mountains always amazed you and Tom just loved watching you as you marvelled at them, he loved your enthusiasm about everything and he mostly loved the way he made you all shy and biting your lips whenever he didn’t look away, and just kept admiring you. 

The hot and heavy passion of that day shifted to something soft and loving, testing the waters, Harry occasionally faking an asthma attack to bring the two of you back to reality. The next day came fast, way too fast as you fell asleep in Tom’s arms, him sneaking into your bed, the small space forcing the two of you to stay close to each other, not that you mind it. 

He woke you up with small kisses, giggling and smiling as you tried to fight him, to get a few more minutes of sleep. ‘Come on, love, the weather is beautiful and the slopes are calling us.’ He tried with his usual energetic voice, which was still a bit raspy from sleep, but he didn’t care. 

‘The bed is also calling.’ You mumbled turning a little so you were on your back looking up on his pretty face. You let out a small puff of air as you took him in fully. His sleepy little face, his messy, morning hair, that sweet look in his eyes which now felt like it was only reserved for you. 

‘But I’m hungry.’ Tom pouted, his puppy dog eyes begging for… food? You weren’t sure, but you gave in. 

‘Alright, lovie, let’s get some food.’ 

Maybe it was just the morning haze, or the fact that he didn’t need to pretend at least in front of Harry anymore, he seemed to calm down since yesterday. Even when he got you alone while Harry was having his morning shower, he was holding you, laying in bed almost fully prepared to go, he was cuddling you, lazily making out with you, his hands caressing your cheeks and side. 

On the slopes you had to play pretend again, but that day everything seemed to be perfect, even like that. Watching him slide so easily on the snow flashing you a smile from time to time, took your breath away for a second, and you found yourself slipping and falling a bit more than usual. You saw him snowboarding before and never once found it ridiculously sexy, but now? Oh, boy. You did, and loved every second of it whether you watched him from the end of the slope or above, it just set a slowly burning fire in your stomach. 

Soon you were pretty preoccupied by his closeness again, his lips looking to be more and more inviting with every lift ride, you started to miss his hands on you and the softness of his hair between your fingers. With your mind not being focused on skiing on main anymore, you found yourself in the snow again and again. You never had it bad, you just mostly looked silly but the more you fell and had to get up the more tired you got and it was an infinite circle. 

‘How about calling it a day early today?’ Harry offered as the three of you occupied one of the cabins on the lift. ‘I mean I could go till five, but maybe some rest would do good to you and I wanted to take some pictures in the village anyway.’ He offered. 

‘Yeah, that might be good. My butt and arms hurt from falling so much.’ You agreed, not daring to look at Tom or asking him if he were to join you or Harry. The answer was obvious and you didn’t need to make it so clear in front of his brother. 

You slid down one last time together before taking your gear back to the hotel, Harry changing back to some more comfortable shoes, while Tom and you headed back to the room. 

You felt that tension only while the two of you were waiting for the elevator. As soon as you stepped in and the doors were closed you were on Tom and he did nothing to resist. 

‘Would you mind if I wouldn’t let you rest right away?’ He asked between the heated kisses. 

‘Just be mindful of my bruised parts.’ You grinned before kissing him again, not stopping until you felt the elevator stop. 

The walk to your room was a bit faster than usual, Tom opened the door in record time and when it closed your back was pressed against it, those delicious lips on yours, helping each other to undress, the heavy coats and pants lading on the floor until you were only in your second skin pants and sports bra again. His large hands were roaming on your body, feeling every part of you, basking in feeling you just as he wanted again. Tom took one of your thighs lifting them up until his hips, so he could step even closer, basically pinning you to the door with his own body. It felt like time has stopped as your palms and fingers mapped out every muscle on his body, as you pulled on his curls and he moaned into your mouth shamelessly, as your fingers found his perfect butt again and dug your nails into it, pulling him even closer, however your didn’t think that was possible. His erection pressing to your thigh again, letting you know how ready he was for you. 

His skilled lips and tongue left a wet trail of kisses on your neck, sucking and biting on your skin gently, being careful with not leaving any marks. He pushed up your sports bra and you helped him to get rid of it. It wasn’t even a second until he stopped to take you in before his hands started to fondle your breasts, his fingers finally pinching and you rolling your nipples, coaxing the sweetest whimpers out of you. His mouth returned to yours to a sloppy kiss, your teeth and tongue meeting as you couldn’t contain your noises anymore. 

Those pants and panties started to feel like hell, clinging tightly to your body, and you needed him to do something about it. 

To cue him, you took one of his hands and guided it until you hooked his finger into your remaining clothes, pressing it down a little. 

‘Let’s get to the bed, lovie.’ Tom breathed onto your lips, grabbing your hips and hands and crossing the room in no time. When he stopped and crawled on your smaller bed, he got rid of every clothing on himself and helped you out of every single piece of clothing you had, leaving you completely naked for him. He took you in wordlessly, only his eyes letting you know how much he loved seeing you like this. He was also a sight, he was more than beautiful naked, his body perfect for you, his cock rock hard and way more thick than you imagined it. When you lifted your arms reaching out for him, he complied instantly laying down, his hips forcing your thighs open of him. 

You kissed him slowly, just enjoying the moment, indulging in the feeling of his weight on you, of his skin on yours, his scent filling your senses, just this moment feeling completely surrounded by Tom. It didn’t take very long until it became heated as your bodies were rocking against each other, his cock head nudging your entrance, sometimes pressing against your clit. 

‘You are so wet, darling.’ He groaned into the kiss. ‘Can I?’ He asked and waited the split second before you could whimper ‘yes’ before he gave in to the sweet invitation of your body and let his cock head slide into you. He broke the kiss, and tried to tilt his head to see your face better. Your eyes were closed and your brows knitted together as he was burying himself into you, and your sweet lips just turned into an ‘o’ when he finally bottomed out. 

‘Sorry, I really wanted to wait with this and give you something more, but you felt too fucking good.’ He groaned and started to roll his hips into you. Soon your couldn’t hold back your moans, he pushed himself up to his palms to have more space as he was fucking into you. He opened his legs wider just to force yours open up even more for him. He speeded up, making your back arch from the bed, your nails digging into his butt once again. Hearing him lose it a bit more every time you did this, made your body tingle and his moans sent shivers down on your spine. 

With a shudder he slowed down gradually, his thrust becoming deep and shallow, trying to buy himself some time. He grabbed your hand which was now holding onto the sheets desperately, and sucked it into his mouth, wetting it as much as he could. His eyes were locked on yours and you would have lied if you said it wasn’t something absolutely obscene, which made you clench around him, Tom shamelessly moaning around your fingers. When he was done, he guided that hand between your bodies, a surprised whimper falling from your lips as your own fingers touched your neglected clit. They were warm and wet from Tom’s saliva and you didn’t need any further comment on what he wanted you to do. He started to move again, his peace becoming frantic in a second, matching the way you rubbed your clit, getting closer and closer to your orgasm. 

You opened your eyes for a second, looking up at him, his cheeks now positively red and flushed, his eyes closed, pleasure written all over his features and his pretty lips opening to a moan was all you needed. You fall over the edge, your body seizing up and your orgasm washing over you, making you tremble and whimper and only beg for more. Tom let go at the moment he felt you squeezing him tight and pulsing around him, milking every drop of his cum, his cock twitching inside of you until he was completely empty. 

He tried not to collapse onto you, to keep himself up on his elbows and forearms while the both of you were panting and trying to come down from your highs. 

He pressed a butterfly kiss to your neck making you shudder, then a lazy, satisfied kiss to your lips, feeling your arms around his neck and shoulders. 

‘That was amazing.’ You sighed and shuddered again as he kissed your neck again.

‘Yeah, pretty amazing.’ Tom smiled, noticing how absolutely sensitive you become. 

You were just laying there caged between the soft mattress and his firm body, enjoying his closeness, the way his slowly softening cock filled you up still, your body and mind feeling utterly at peace. 

Before you could have fallen asleep he helped you out of the bed and into the shower, holding you steadily and gently washing the mess away from his body. He couldn’t help as his hands wondered, sliding between your folds to wash away his own cum, sliding them into you, feeling you sigh again as you were leaning to his torso. He was fingering you gently, having your mind filled with lust again. ‘I really wanna taste you, darling.’ He said and the next thing you knew you were nodding and he was on his knees one of your thighs across his shoulder as he was lapping and sucking on your fucked out pussy, quickly bringing you to another orgasm. When you weren’t trembling anymore and his name wasn’t the only mantra you had anymore he let go of you, finishing what he started, enjoying your nimble fingers on himself as you did your best to return the gentle favour of cleaning you up. You headed out until he did his best to dry his curls which were dripping on the floor, only for him to find you fast asleep in your bed. 

He pulled the blanket over you, making sure that it covered you everywhere before settling in his own bed to start reading his next script, occasionally being interrupted by marvelling on your peaceful, sleeping form. 

Tags: @we--are---not--afraid @storybookholland @hollandprkr @bigassnocash @osterfieldshollandgirl @t-hollanderr @happybunny14 @terrifictomholland @tomsrebeleyebrow @worldoftom @augustholland @greenorangevioletgrass

[spencer-reids-adventures]

May I ask if we can get a part 2 to the one where reid doesnt realize he was going thru a burnout? 👉👈

No pressure tho! Love your stuff!

part 1

-

The thing about going through burnout is that it doesn't just disappear once it's identified.

Spencer tries to do all the right things when he gets home. He changes into comfortable clothes, he makes himself some tea, he turns on music and curls up on the couch with a few pillows. He tries to relax.

His brain has different ideas.

He's been home for three hours when he finds himself rocking back and forth on the floor of his closet, desperately understimulated and unable to put together what he's supposed to do in this situation. He's sure he has tools to combat this, but right now he can't think of what any of them are.

Finally, he goes and unplugs his computer keyboard and brings it back to the closet with him, pounding on that with his fingers, and it helps for a little while. But soon enough, he's at square one again.

He's about to fall back into wrist-banging when his phone rings.

"Reid? How are you feeling?" Hotch asks.

"Bad," Spencer replies, his ability to construct full sentences flying out the window.

"What's going on?"

"Bad," Spencer repeats. "Dunno. Scared."

"Do you need Dave or I to come over there?"

Spencer hesitates.

"It's okay to say yes," Hotch tells him. "I wouldn't have offered if we weren't able to do it."

"Please," Spencer finally says. "Yes. Please."

"All right," Hotch says. "Hang tight, and one of us will be over there soon, okay?"

"Thanks."

They hang up and Spencer buries his hands in his hair, pulling on it, hoping the time passes quickly. He supposes he could go get his watch, but he really doesn't want to move.

Eventually there's a knock on his door, and Spencer forces himself up to open it. Rossi is there with a paper grocery bag.

"How ya doing, kiddo?"

Spencer shrugs and stares at the floor.

"I brought you a few things," Rossi says. He hands the bag to Spencer.

Inside are a collection of stim toys from both his desk and Garcia's, as well as a photocopied piece of paper he recognizes as the one he gave Hotch when Gideon left. It outlines his obstacles and the things that help him when he's in crisis. It's exactly what he needs.

He grabs the paper and reads through it quickly, reminding himself what he's supposed to do in this situation. He pulls out a Rubik's cube and starts fiddling with it as he walks to his bedroom to get his headphones. How could he forget that music through headphones soothes him even when music on the speakers doesn't?

"Thank you," he signs to Rossi.

"No problem," Rossi replies. "Helpful?"

Spencer nods vigorously.

"Do what you need to do, kid," Rossi says. "I'll just hang out here for a little bit to be safe, okay?"

Spencer nods again, relieved, and wonders what he did to deserve this kind of unfailing support.

[dem-obscure-imagines]

Choosing Destiny

Pietro Maximoff x Reader

Fandom: Marvel/MCU

Summary: Pietro has never believed in fate or soulmates or destiny…well, until he meets you…

Note: I know it was recently confirmed in canon that Pietro and Wanda were 26 during Age of Ultron, but for my own purposes, I’m going to pretend they were only 23. WandaVision spoilers if you squint, but not really.

Warnings: Mentions of death (he doesn’t die tho)

Word Count: 3.5k

Reader is: Female

Pietro Maximoff didn’t believe in prophecy. He didn’t believe in soulmates, either, but that was another matter entirely. His entire life, he’d been making decisions. Important ones. And he wanted to believe that they mattered. That his choices determined his outcome. He didn’t want his hands to be tied when it came to matters like that, to his destiny or whatever.

And yet, at twenty years old, approximately three years before his life would change forever, the fair rolled into town. Wanda wanted to go. She always wanted to go. It helped take her mind off of everything. And besides, with the fair came the psychics that would set up their stands, charging a handful of coins for a reading on your future. Your destiny. Your soulmate.

Wanda was very into it, as he knew she would be, and so, reluctantly, he handed over the money and she sat down across from the psychic, who took Wanda’s hands, shivering slightly before she reached for her tarot cards and shuffled them. “I do see a soulmate in your future.” The psychic told her. “He’s tall. Heroic. I see a long cape billowing out behind him and there’s a…strong association with the color yellow. He’s very intelligent, wise. He’s quiet, but he has a lot to say. He will help you through difficult times.”

Wanda chatted with the psychic for a while longer before they finished her reading, and when she was done, she handed Wanda a small rose quartz stone, which she admired before tucking it into her pocket.

“Let’s go get something to eat.” Pietro nudged her onwards towards the food carts.

“Don’t you want a reading?” Wanda asked him.

He scoffed. “I don’t have a soulmate.”

“I beg to differ.” The psychic said softly, beckoning him closer. “Tell you what, this reading is on the house. Take a seat.”

Wanda pushed him closer to the chair and he rolled his eyes, but sat down anyway. His foot bounced up and down. He was antsy, always antsy. Impatient. And on top of it all, a skeptic.

The psychic reached for his hands and he gave them to her. As soon as she made contact with his skin, she gasped.

“Oh you have a soulmate alright. She’s incredibly powerful. I can feel her energy radiating just from your touch alone. You’re going to meet her soon. Not right away, but definitely in the next few years. I sense…some tension. Some resistance, but inevitably, things will work out.” She reached into a pouch hanging from the table and pulled out a butterfly charm. It was small and silver and made of metal and when she pressed it into his palm, it was cold to the touch. “You’ll know it’s her when you see a butterfly.”

Pietro was disbelieving, but he nodded, tucking the charm into his pocket.

“How about that, huh?” Wanda asked as they started walking away. “You have a soulmate after all.”

“We’ll see…” Pietro shook his head. “I still don’t buy it, though, for the record…”

“Sure.” Wanda smirked, unconvinced. She’d seen the look on her brother’s face she knew that look. And she knew that whether her brother liked it or not, he believed the slightest bit that there was someone out there made for him. She liked to believe it, too.

***

There were not many belongings Pietro had inside the walls of the Hydra facility he was transformed in. But one of them was the silver butterfly charm he had gotten at the fair that day. He always kept it with him, and he’d fought tooth and nail to be able to keep it when he’d gotten admitted.

When he was in his cell all alone, he’d take it out and look at it, study the intricate patterns on its wings, and then tuck it back into his pocket, his fingers fiddling with it.

He remembered the day when his transformation happened, although he didn’t like to think about it often. It stirred up weird emotions in the core of his being. Being…altered in a way like that. Changed into something he was never meant to be. Most of the moments from that day, his brain had tucked away, had hidden from him, but when he first stepped into the room with the stone, it had seemed to…come alive.

He watched with wide eyes as it released itself from the staff it had been held inside and floated in front of him. And in the glow of the stone, a figure manifested herself in front of him, a girl who was a bit shorter than him. She had giant butterfly-shaped wings spread out behind her and she landed in front of him, as real as he was. Vivid and beautiful. He stared at her for a long time, waiting for her to speak.

And she did.

“Pietro…” She’d spoken, her voice soft and sweet, but also…worried? He couldn’t tell. “I need you to be okay for me. Breathe, alright?”

“I…I don’t understand. What do you mean?” He asked, but she didn’t respond. It was like she was separated from him somehow, somewhere different in space and time although she was standing right there in front of him.

She reached forward and rested her hand against his cheek. “I’m here, now. Just breathe…”

And then everything went black.

When he came around, everything started…changing. For a few days, every step he took was at superspeed. He’d run into walls without really meaning to, rush forward feet at a time when he’d only meant to move a little. He was hungrier than he’d ever been in his life. He’d always loved food, but now, he felt like he was starving all the time when he was eating more than he ever had. His enhanced body burned through it like it was nothing. His hair started to turn blonde and then white, leaving the top half of his head a silvery bleached color that rivaled the snow. He barely recognized himself in the mirror anymore. Barely recognized this person he’d become.

The choice he’d made, the choice he and Wanda had made together, had sent him on a different path, had altered his destiny. And he wondered if he’d ever pay the price for it.

***

The day came, as he knew it would. His home town in Sokovia was being hoisted into the air, higher and higher every minute. The air was thin and he had trouble catching his breath. He was used to running, now. It was part of him, his speed. It was a gift. A blessing. A “miracle” as the scientists at Hydra had said. He couldn’t help but believe them.

He heard something approaching the border of the city, something big, and when he ran to the edge to see what it was, he was surprised, but pleasantly so, to see a Helicarrier rising, a S.H.I.E.L.D. logo emblazoned on it. He looked around and spotted Captain Rogers standing nearby with the Black Widow, so he ran over.

“This is S.H.I.E.L.D.?” He asked.

“This is what S.H.I.E.L.D. is supposed to be.” Rogers nodded, looking on proudly.

Pietro considered it for a moment before replying with a smile, “this is not so bad…”

It was then that he spotted her flying across the gap. The girl with the butterfly wings. And he couldn’t stop staring, his blue eyes fixed on her for a long moment. She said something, but he didn’t hear her, so distracted by her presence. He knew it had to be her, the girl from his vision.

“What?” He asked, blinking a few times. She giggled and the other two Avengers standing beside them chuckled knowingly.

“I said, I’m (Y/N).” You offered your hand and Pietro shook it, squeezing it slightly as he did so, and hesitant to let go once he was finished. “Fury reached out to me. Figured you could use all the help you could get.”

“We’d definitely accept an extra set of hands.” Rogers nodded. “What are your powers.”

“Flight, energy manipulation, enhanced strength…” You listed off. “There are kind of a lot. I can do whatever you need me to do. Be wherever you need me to be.”

“Priorities right now are evacuating civilians and killing robots.” Natasha said.

“That, I can do.” You nodded. “And you’re…?”

“Pietro.” He offered, smiling softly as he did, an unfamiliar warmth tingling in his stomach.

“Pietro.” You repeated, trying the name out. Your pronunciation was a little off, but he couldn’t help but grin at the attempt. “Alright. Well, let’s go kill some robots then, Pietro.” You let your wings flutter, and when you did, your feet lifted from the ground.

He smirked, getting a bit competitive as soon as you’d challenged him. “You’re on. Try to keep up.”

As the two of you rushed off into the city, Steve and Natasha watched with knowing looks, taking another little moment.

“Twenty bucks they’re together by Friday.” Nat said. “Maybe sooner.”

Steve shook her hand. “You’re on.”

***

The battle went smoothly until it didn’t, and as soon as Pietro took fire, you felt the hit in the center of your being. It shook you to your core, and once you’d shot the quinjet that had hit him out of the sky with a powerful stream of pink energy, you landed beside him, his body still and his breathing weak, holes mangling his limbs and torso.

“Pietro…” You whispered, tears stinging your eyes. You summoned your energy to your palms, but it was…different than it usually was. Rather than its typical pink color, the energy you summoned was yellow. It was warm. But you trusted your power and you held the energy over him.

His breaths were shallow, strained. You watched as, very, very slowly, your energy pieced him back together, the holes in his body closing up, repairing as if by magic, as if he’d never been shot in the first place.

He struggled to try to say something, but you just cupped his cheek and shook your head. “I need you to be okay for me. Breathe, alright?”

“But—”

“I’m here, now. Just breathe…” You told him, still pushing energy into his chest, but more slowly, gradually. You felt his pulse and waited as his heartbeat returned to normal, his breathing forced, but becoming more natural as you knelt beside him. “Take a minute. Take your time. There’s no rush.”

He nodded, struggling to sit up, his arms and legs shaking really badly. At some point, you felt like your power hit a wall. There wasn’t anything more you could do for him. He was healed.

“Do you feel okay? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” He nodded, staring at his hands for a long moment, looking at his fingers and moving them. “I’m…thanks to you, I am.”

“I think we’re gonna have to get out of here pretty soon. Can you stand?”

“I’ll try.” He decided.

You stood up first and offered your hands to him, pulling him upright with unexpected strength.

He’d definitely pulled something in his leg, and that became obvious as soon as he took a few steps.

“Do you want me to try to—" You started to ask, raising your hand, but he grabbed onto it, lowering it.

He shook his head. “You’ve done enough for me today. Thank you.”

You pulled his arm around your shoulders and supported his weight while he limped.

Captain Rogers walked over and looked at the two of you, paying special attention to Pietro.

“You alright, kid?”

“I am now.” He answered, nodding.

“Get back to the Helicarrier. Both of you. This’ll all be over soon.”

“Yes, sir.” You nodded. The two of you walked most of the way back to the Helicarrier in silence, Pietro sneaking unbelieving looks at you every so often.

Meanwhile, Rogers walked up to Clint. “Did you see what happened?”

Clint nodded. “He almost died. But she…she just…healed him. Like magic…”

Steve considered it for a moment, nodding. He looked back and watched as you helped Pietro onto one of the boats, the two of you sitting together. And he decided in that moment that you might not make a bad addition to the team…

***

As soon as Wanda made it back to the Helicarrier, in the arms of the Vision, no less, she ran towards you and Pietro, disbelief on her face when she saw him. Mascara and eyeliner were smudged around her eyes from crying and she looked paler than he’d ever seen her before.

“Wanda,” He walked towards her, taking a painful step forward.

“You idiot!” She wailed, throwing herself into his arms. “I…I thought you were dead! I…I felt…”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He apologized, his voice soft. “She healed me. She…saved my life.”

“Who did?” Wanda asked and Pietro motioned to where you were sitting.

You stood up and prepared to introduce yourself, holding out your hand, but she engulfed you in her arms instead, pulling you into a tight hug.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” She cried into your shoulder. You held her a little tighter in an attempt to comfort her. “I don’t know what I would have done if…”

“Don’t worry about it.” You told her quietly. “He’s safe. You both are.”

Wanda nodded and pulled away from you, looking up at her brother with teary eyes. He smiled down at her. And then his eyes settled on you and he pulled you into his arms, hugging you tightly.

Pietro Maximoff, at one time in his life, hadn’t believed in fate. But now, without a shadow of a doubt, he did.

***

“You want me to be a what?” You asked. You were sitting in the conference room that the Avengers, including their newest additions, had all crammed into in the remains of the Avengers Tower. They were scheduled to move soon, but before they relocated, Captain Rogers had gotten ahold of you through Nick Fury and called you there to “discuss an arrangement.”

“We want you to be an Avenger.” Clint Barton, the one you’d previously only known as ‘Hawkeye’ explained. “I saw you. You saved the kid’s life. We…we need that kind of power. All the help we can get.”

You looked at Pietro and his eyes were locked on yours, a serious look on his face.

“Look, I’m flattered. I am.” You forced yourself to focus away from the handsome speedster and on Stark instead. “But I’m just…I’m a college kid. I’m graduating in like a month. I have finals and…and I…I don’t know if I’m cut out for this.”

“You are. Cut out for it, I mean.” Natasha insisted. “We’re not going to force you, but…you’d be a great addition to the team.”

“Can I think about it?” You asked. “I just need to get through college. Get my degree, and then…then I can…maybe look into this hero stuff.”

“Take all the time you need. We’ll be here if and when you come around.” Captain Rogers said.

“Cool.” You nodded. “Thank you.”

You left the conference room and you thought you were alone, but as soon as you walked through them, someone else did too.

“Promise me you’ll think about it?” Your ears picked up the all-too familiar accent of one Mr. Pietro Maximoff.

You looked up at him and you hated it, but your heart raced just looking at him, a blush creeping across your cheeks. You couldn’t deny he was handsome. Incredibly so, in fact, but you couldn’t just give up four years of work for a man at the drop of a hat.

“Why do you want me here so bad?” You countered, raising an eyebrow.

He took a few steps closer to you, framing your cheek with his large, warm hand. “Do you believe in fate?”

You thought about it for a moment. “Kind of. Why?”

“I didn’t. I didn’t until I met you.” Pietro said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the silver butterfly charm, hanging from a thin silver chain. “A long time ago, a psychic told me I would know my soulmate when I saw a butterfly. And…the moment I saw your wings, I knew…”

He was quiet, shaking his head as he reached for your hand, setting the necklace in your palm. “You saved my life. The least I can do is returning the favor at some point.”

“Okay.” You said, closing your hand around the charm. “I’ll think about it. I promise.”

***

You went back to school. It was hard, but you focused on your studies and before you knew it, finals week rolled around. Your wings, for the most part, weren’t active. They only came out when you needed them, and therefore, you were able to blend in pretty seamlessly. No one looked at you differently, although, watching news coverage from the Battle of Sokovia, you’d hear your peers whisper rumors about the mysterious Butterfly Girl who had appeared and disappeared right after.

Tony Stark had been approached for a statement on who she was and where she’d come from and if she was a new member of the team, but he hadn’t commented, which you were grateful for.

Aside from that, everything was…well, as normal as it can be when you’re a superhuman, you supposed.

Your brain fried, your eyes burning, you looked up from your textbook only to spot Pietro standing in the doorway of the building. You stared at him for a long time, unsure if he was a hallucination or your eyes playing tricks on you after so many hours staring at your textbooks.

He jogged over as soon as he spotted you, a mischievous look on his face. It was weird, seeing him force himself to move at a normal pace. At a speed which had once been normal to him, but was now much, much slower than he was capable of moving.

“What are you doing here?” You asked him, taking your headphones off and setting them on the table, looking up at him.

“I knew you must be getting close to the end of your semester. I…well, I wanted to know if you had made your decision yet. I’m…impatient.” He admitted, causing you to giggle softly. “And I figured…maybe buying you a coffee could help you make your decision a little faster?”

“It certainly couldn’t hurt.” You laughed.

“Alright, perfect.” He grinned. “What do you want? I’ll go get it right now.”

You told him your usual order and he walked to the coffee shop tucked into the on-campus library, retrieving two drinks and bringing them back a few minutes later. You cleared out some of your stuff so he could sit across from you, and so, when you motioned him to the chair, he did.

“What are you studying?”

“Psychology.” You replied, wiping the sleep from your eyes. “God, what time is it?”

“Almost ten.”

“Great.” You chuckled, shaking your head. “I’m not nearly done studying.” You raised your drink to your lips. “Thank you for the coffee, by the way.”

“Of course.” He grinned, resting one hand against his fist and reaching for your hand with the other, which you gave to him, allowing him to fiddle with your smaller fingers. He was a fiddler, you’d noticed. Always had to be moving, even if it was only a little bit. “So…?”

“So what?” You asked, amused at his antics.

“Are you going to come to the compound when you’re done?”

You were quiet for a long time, before you nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I…I think I am.”

Immediately, a smile overtook his handsome features and he gave your hand an excited squeeze. He leaned over the table and captured your lips in a sweet kiss, leaving you stunned for a few seconds afterwards, staring at him with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized immediately. “I don’t know why I—”

You grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him in, pressing your lips onto his again, in a kiss you’d been wanting to give him for over a month. He kissed back passionately, his lips soft and desperate, his scruff tickling you gently.

As soon as you pulled apart, he switched sides of the table, sitting next to you and cupping his hands around your cheeks. He pressed a long kiss to your forehead and then another quick one to your lips, causing your heart to race and the butterflies in your stomach to dance around. And in that moment, you knew that whatever you believed about soulmates and fate and destiny…it all went out the window.

You knew whatever you did from here on out, whatever choices you made or paths you took, it would always lead you straight to Pietro Maximoff. And you couldn’t have been happier about that…

[pies-writes-and-more]

Hii- if you're taking any request, could I get one where reader, Yamaguchi, and Tsukishima are friends but the reader constantly drops hints that she likes Yams but he misinterprets them as for Tsukki? 👉🏻👈🏻 dkgjsjfje no need to rush yourself tho oki? You can do it in your own time ❤️ hope you have a wonderful day/night! ✨

Word Count: 2,036

Warnings: probably some swearing, a bit of angst but there’s a happy ending promise! 

Pairing: Yamaguchi Tadashi x Fem!Reader

A/N: Thank you for the request! I dunno if I fully got the idea you wanted haha but here you go! (Originally thought @thisnoodlewritesao3 gave in this request but apparently she didn’t!!!! So whoever sent this in thank you so much!!!!). Enjoy lovelies!

(not my gif, creds to the original creator :))

Today was the day. Yamaguchi had never been so confident with one of his decisions before. But this one. This one he was sure of.

He tucked the broken pieces of his heart into some deep part of him as he stared at himself in the mirror. He stared at himself in the mirror for a second before nodding to himself. Today was the day, he whispered to himself for what felt like the millionth time. Today was the day he would let go.

He knew it was going to hurt, he knew that his heart was already falling apart but it didn’t matter. How can you be broken hearted over losing someone when they weren’t yours in the first place?

The day started like any other school day, Yamaguchi meeting up with you and Tsukishima on the corner of the street where all your paths met. Like usual, you and Tsukishima were already there since you both lived closer than Yamaguchi did.

“Hi Yams!” You beamed up at him and he tried his best to give a genuine smile back. Why did this smile look so much different than the one you gave Tsukki?

“You took longer than usual,” Tsukishima commented, raising an eyebrow at his best friend.

Yamaguchi had hoped he wouldn’t noticed, but it wasn’t really all that surprising that he did, “Just got up late,” he said with a smile, trying to be convincing.

Tsukishima watched him for a moment, raising an eyebrow as if to ask are you sure you’re okay? Yamaguchi just gave a small nod and then turned to you as you talked about the project that was due today.

He wanted to keep walking with you, listening to you go on about your day, about the dog you saw on your way over, about your family and anything else that made you smile. But he kept slowing down his pace, watching from behind what it would look like, you and Tsukki walking together. Why did you two look so much better than he could ever dream?

“Yams?” Your voice drew him from his thoughts, him offering his typical I’m okay smile. “You seem really out of it today, are you feeling sick?” You asked, pressing a hand to his forehead to check his temperature.

He wanted to press against your hand just a little longer, the feeling of your skin on his always made his heart flutter. But instead, he just laughed and shook his head, “I’m alright. I guess I’m still a little asleep!”

You seemed to buy it and nod, linking your arm with his, “Come on then, don’t slow down on me. If you do, I have to walk with Tsukishima and I don’t think he likes my company,” you laugh.

Tsukishima just rolled his eyes and pulled his headphones on like he normally did in the mornings when the three of you walked together. Yamaguchi always wondered if he did this so he could have more privacy to talk to you. Tsukishima had known right away that Yamaguchi’s heart only beat for you. But what else did he know?

Did he know that Yamaguchi would always step back for him? Did he know that you just seemed so much happier with him, the one who was so much cooler? So much taller? So much smarter? That you would be better off with him?

But you just talked on, trying to get Yams back into how he was normally, asking about his weekend and morning. By the time you all got to school, Tsukishima said something about needing to go find the third years and talk to them about something. It was a lie and Yamaguchi was sure of that. 

Tsukishima had been trying to tell him lately to stop being so scared and just tell you how he felt. He even insisted that you had been trying to drop little hints all the time but Yamaguchi was sure that Tsukishima was just exaggerating (though, he wasn’t really the exaggerating kind). But how had Tsukishima not noticed how much time you spent by his side? How had he not realized that you always seemed to try and get his attention, always tried to get him talking?

You had to be in love with Tsukishima Kei, Yamaguchi was sure of that. Because who would ever go for him, an emotional freckled loser, when Tsukki was around?

“Yams, do you think confessing ruins a lot of friendships?” You asked softly as the two of you walked slowly through the almost empty courtyard, not a lot of students on campus yet.

His eyes locked onto yours for a moment, the surprise in them flickering away as he quickly looked away, “What do you mean?”

“I mean... it’s so easy for friends to fall in love isn’t it? You know everything about a person, see everything they are, the good and the bad, and... you just can’t help it.” There was such a lightness to your voice. Yamaguchi’s heart was pounding against his chest, was this the moment you’d tell him? That you were in love with his best friend? What was he even supposed to say?

“I... suppose,” he mumbled quietly, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Are you in love?”

“I’ve never been in love before,” you admitted shyly, smiling up at his direction but still noting that he was refusing to look at you. “But I think I might be.”

Somewhere, Yamaguchi wanted to tell her that Tsukki would never be interested. Even if Yamaguchi wasn’t in love with you, Tsukki didn’t really seem all that interested in relationships right now. So wouldn’t it be better for you to not bother getting her heart broken? Because his was already breaking and it was hurting like hell - shouldn’t he try to save you from that. He wanted to tell you to save yourself, but instead he heard himself say, “You should tell him then...”

He closed his eyes, ready for you to tell him with an excited tone that you were going to find Tsukki. Tell him how you felt. He saw a flash of a lifetime in his head, what you would look like on your first date with Tsukki holding your hand, how your smile would meet Tsukki’s eyes more than Yamaguchi’s, how you would offer your heart to Tsukki, and not Yamaguchi-

“I’m trying to, but he’s refusing to look at me,” you said suddenly, a laugh in your voice. What was that in your laugh? Was that... nervousness?

Yamaguchi’s eyes popped open, looking down at you with surprise. “W-What?”

“If you’d just pay attention to me, this confession would’ve been over a while ago,” you laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of your head. Now that he was looking at you, your eyes didn’t want to meet his.

“Confession?” Yamaguchi’s voice cracked and his ears were burning with embarrassment now.

You bit down on your lip, a nervous habit of yours, and pulled out a cute little teddy bear plush from your backpack, “I got this at the arcade we went to a few days ago. And that day, when it was just you and me, I realized that you’re the only one I want to be with all the time. You’re always there for me and after meeting you, every one of those songs I listen to just... makes sense.”

Yamaguchi was dreaming wasn’t he? He was going to wake up in a few seconds and be sorely disappointed. He was going to punch his pillow and shed a few tears because this was all just a dream right?

“I know we’ve been friends for like forever, and that volleyball takes up a lot of your time lately. But if... I dunno if maybe you feel the same way, maybe we could go on a date sometime? There’s this cute cafe I heard about nearby and they have these milkshakes that I think we would like-” you rambled nervously, noting his open-mouth expression and lack of response.

There was one thing that Yamaguchi was never able to do during dreams. One thing he always wanted to do but always woke up before. He had to wake up before he fell too far in this dream, he had to wake up before he wasn’t able to and this dream took over his whole mind. Before he could think through it rationally, Yamaguchi took your face in his hands and pressed a quick peck to your lips.

His lips felt like heaven against yours, your eyes widening as he stood there, holding your hands like he was even surprised he had been able to do that.

“Y-Yams?” You squeaked, unsure that that had really just happened.

“That doesn’t normally happen,” he murmured to himself, staring down at you like you were going to disappear in a few seconds.

“W-When?” You whispered back, a little confused.

“When I dream about this,” Yamaguchi’s whole face was going red now. His eyes were widening and his fingers were starting to shake against your cheeks. He pulled away from you, clasping a hand against his mouth realizing what he had just done. “I-I’m not dreaming.”

“N-Nope,” you can’t help but laugh, holding a hand over your lips. “You dream about me?”

“Y-Yea. No. I mean. Not like... weird things or anything I just-” Yamaguchi rambled, shaking his hands in front of him nervously. “I’m so sorry, Y/N, I thought, I just normally don’t-”

“You know, when I told Y/N to confess to you today, I didn’t think you’d react like that,” Tsukishima laughed from across the courtyard, grinning bigger than Yamaguchi had ever seen before.

“Y-You knew?”

“Y/N’s been annoying me all week about it,” Tsukishima rolled his eyes, “Something about wanting to know if feelings were reciprocated or something. As if you two haven’t been drooling over each other ever since meeting.” He shrugged like this was a normal thing, like seeing his two friends confess and kiss was just a typical Monday morning thing.

Yamaguchi’s chest was feeling so tight, like his heart had stopped working from shock. Was this a heart attack? Is this what all those people were always warning you about? Was he dying?

“Oi, Tadashi, you haven’t given her an answer yet,” Tsukishima scoffed, shaking his head. “Accept her confession, ask her out on a date, and then let’s get to class. People are going to start staring soon.”

Yamaguchi spluttered out a, “I really like you, Y/N!”, his cheeks burning with embarrassment and surprise, wishing he could rewind and go back. He took the teddy bear that was still in your hands, smiling a little at the cute bow around its neck and the smile on its face that was looking back at him.

You just giggled and rocked on your feet nervously, “Well I’d hope so. You don’t go around kissing girls you don’t like do you?”

“O-Of course not!” He shook his head, letting out a nervous laugh. “That cafe date sounds really nice.”

The two of you just stood there for a moment, shyly avoiding each other’s eyes until Tsukishima sighed while walking over, and pushed Yamaguchi over to you, “Alright, let’s go then.” He said, as if fed up with you both but Yamaguchi swore he saw a smile on the salty boy’s face.

“I really like you too,” you whisper to Yamaguchi later, taking his hand in yours and letting your fingers tangle together.

Later, Yamaguchi would tell you he honestly thought you were into Tsukishima and would laugh when your nose scrunched up, “Oh God no!” You smirked, shaking your head. “I was trying to make sure he liked me. I figured you wouldn’t go out with a girl that Tsukishima wouldn’t at least tolerate.”

Yamaguchi laughed and pressed a kiss to your cheek. He held your face in his hands again, just admiring your face and the way you smiled at him. This smile seemed to be reserved just for him and he wanted to look at it forever.

That was the day that Yamaguchi promised himself he would never let you go. You were his now, and he didn’t ever want to lose you.

Haikyuu Masterlist

Haikyuu Taglist: (Let me know if you’d like to be added!)

@scphiredrafts @aurumk @devilkittymusic @thisnoodlewritesao3 @satan-ruler-of-hells @trashy-simp @jeppiet @lucyheartfilias-wife @darkvadeeer @haikyuutothetop

[miyaniacs]

The One Night Stand

Toji x fem!reader / Gojo x fem!reader

Part 2

A/n: hey sooo i know i haven’t updated anything... but I’m in my Gojo AND Toji feels sooo part one of something? Or just a one shot? Who knows, tell me if any of you is interested in a part two.

Warnings: slight NSFW, mentions of alcohol and a blackout (nothing illegal happened!) and typos, i was just too lazy to read through this mess lol probs going to correct it tomorrow.

Characters: Toji Fushiguro x fem!reader , Satoru Gojo x fem!reader

Form: oneshot

Taglist: @laceymorganwrites

You sigh, your body slowly waking you up, due to the desperate need to go to the toilet. Trying to get the blanket off your body, eyes still closed, you frown. It’s stuck. Why is it stuck? Trying to wiggle out of the blanket, you move around in your bed, desperate to get it unstuck.

Suddenly you hear something groan and a strong arm wraps around your waist, pulling you into something hard.

Rock hard.

And warm.

And sculptured.

It feels human?

Just like the arm around your waist.

Your eyes shoot open.

After adjusting to the bright sunlight, you realize some things.

This definitely isn’t your room

There is a person behind you

Your body hurts more than your head

And you’re naked ( judging by your bra hanging from the table and your parties laying on the floor.

Shit Shit SHITTT you try to move out of the grip of the person behind you, yet you can’t move, he is strong, at least your drunk self was still able to stick to your type.

After a few minutes, the grip on your waist tightens.

“Fucking stop moving.” The male behind you growls in an incredibly deep smoothing voice, which - sadly - makes your legs press together and your back arches a bit more.

“Mhhh... on a second thought... keep on moving babe.” He chuckles lowly and his hand grabs your hips, pushing them more into his body.

He starts grinding on you, his lips leaving rough kisses down your neck.

His hand move downwards, finding its way between your legs.

“Already wet, I thought you’d had enough last night.” He teases and bites down on your - already purple - neck.

His hands and lips make it really hard for your brain to find the missing pieces. Missing pieces as in: His Name.

“Toji.” He chuckles, “Remember it, I want to hear you scream it again.”

And with that, he turns you around and moves on top of you.

Your mouth falls open.

No.

How the hell were your drunk self able to get THIS guy to take you home.

Holy Shit he was hot.

This dangerous kind of hot, you knew he was trouble..... NO FOCUS BRAIN! You won’t play a Taylor Swift song now.

You close your eyes.

FUNCTION AND FOCUS BRAIN!

FUNCTION AND FO-

Focusing suddenly becomes really easy the second you feel his lips kissing the inside of your thighs.

Your eyes shoot open.

“You’re here with me?” He smirks and you just gulp.

In a matter of seconds, his face is close to yours, one of his hand wrapped around your throat and the other pinning your arms on your chest.

“Focus and you get a good fuck. If not, you can leave right now... don’t think you can stay after I’m done with you tho.” He whispers, his lips gazing over yours.

“Not that I planned to stay in there first place.” You huff, finally finding your voice.

“Oh she can speak.”

“Now, care to show me what happened last night or can I leave now.”

“You really are a lightweight huh?”

But before you can answer, he buries his face in between your thighs while he presses your legs up to your chest, making your plan to answer ending in a moan.

////

“Ohhhhh, someone had some fun last nightttttt”

“Shut up Satoru.” You smack the back of his head and sit down next to him.

“Hey Y/n!” Yuji and Nobara say in union, meanwhile Megumi only grumbles something probably not even him understood.

Confused you look over at Satoru.

“I invited Nanami and his dad.” He shrugs.

“Nanami’s dad?” You ask teasingly.

“No you idiot. Megumis dad.” Gojo snaps your forehead and sighs, “Tell me, why are you my best friend.”

“That is exactly what I ask Y/n every time I see her.” You turn around looking at Nanami, your lips start to form a smile, but you quickly stop as soon as you see the person behind him.

“Nanami! Toji!” Gojo greats them.

“You’re okay there child?” The person named Toji, asks in a fake worrying voice.

“Y/n?” Gojo waves his hand in front of your face, your head slowly turns towards Gojo, eyes wide open, mouth opening and closing.

“WOW.” Gojo huffs, “YOU ARE STARSTRUCK BY TOJI WHILE I GRACE YOU. WITH MY BEAUTY EVERY DAMN DAY!”

Everyone laughs and you turn red.

The two males sit down, Toji right next to you, while Nanami sits next to Yuji, who shows him one of his biggest smiles.

“I need a drink.” You say and get up.

“Let me help youuuuu.” Gojo sings and quickly gets up, putting his hand on your lower back, guiding you towards the bar.

“YOU HOE!” He scream whispers.

“SAYS YOU!” You roll your eyes and cross your arms over your chest.

“You let Megumis DAD fuck you. And here I am thinking I was the kinky one.” He wiggles his eyebrows and lowers his sunglasses, looking directly at you.

“ I DID NOT KNOW HE WAS HIS DAD!” You try your best to explain yourself. “ I have no idea what happened last night-“

“... well i can think of what happened... “

“Shut up Gojo. I woke up next to him okay....”

“Andddddd round 2?” He tresses you again.

“Judging by the way my whole body hurts, it had to at least be round 4.” You groan.

“A tequila sunrise.” Gojo orders.

“Just a Tequila... no make it two.” You sigh and hide your face in Gojos chest. Inhaling the smell of his cologne and wrap your arms around his waist, nuzz your face in his black and red shirt.

“Satoruuuu help me. For once, be a supportive best friend.”

“I WAS ABOUT TO HELP YOU. But here you are assuming that I’d never help you so nope. You can deal with Toji alone now.” He grabs his cocktail and walks back to the table.

Rolling your eyes, you quickly drown your two shots.

Putting on your best fake smile, you walk back to the others, sit down across from Megumi and next to his dad.

“Y/n, my son just told me how incredibly you are at teaching him and the others.” He smirks and looks at your from the side.

“Oh yeah... I just help Gojo out with the kids ... or help them dealing with Gojo. I’m not quite sure.” You laugh.

“Definitely the second one.” Nanami says and takes a sip from his beer.

“And I though for ONCE you’d be a SUPPORTIVE BEST FRIEND BUT NO!” Gojo says and dramatically waves around with his hands.

Glaring at him, you huff, “Says the one that ditched me for a quick fuck.”

“Are you still jelly baby?” Gojo coos and rests his head in his hand, pouting at you.

“You wish.” You roll your eyes and slightly move away from him.

“Ohhh that’s why you moaned his name last night.” Tojo whispers in your ear.