#i wanted to write so much more but id be at it till tomorrow | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hiraethprinmec · 1 month ago

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Tuesday, January 9th, 2024

I've been having a hard time lately. I feel weak struggling with addiction. waking up late, not doing much of anything. I miss who I used to be loose, creative, financially free. I wonder if I can ever be that way again. I want to be different , I want a spectacular life. I want to be pretty successful, happy. I know mostly what I need to do but I've been just not doing it. I wake up late in the evening in a dirty room, I smoke, eat and play games on a loop. I want to write , paint, meet people. I've just been in a rut, feeling so tired. I want this to be my year. I want to smoke right now, its only been a minute or two since my last puff, its what I do everyday upon waking.

sometimes I wake up and I cant believe this is my life, I sit there and remember who I am and what I do. I wish I could turn back time and do thing differently. knowing what I do now. I kind of like this writing it feels like the piano. maybe this will help me . I want to believe I can be even better than before. I've been fumbling for so long I want to be different, the comfort of hitting a vape and feeling something, relaxing its something I don't want to quit. I'm considered a heavy smoking , that concerns me. when I think of quitting I always think of Sunday playing DnD, I think but "I want to smoke on Sunday" so maybe ill do my best to not smoke as much or at all until Sunday. I sometimes think of getting one of those time sensitive safes, maybe it would work or maybe it'd kill time and sleep till it opened for me.

i know i have a problem, i miss weed, i miss money, i miss feeling on top of the world. i wish i could go back in time. i struggle to do the dishes ,clean my room , brush my teeth, go out. everything feels wrong and undoable. i wish people knew who i was, i wish i could be myself. no one knows of my diagnosis, they would think i was lying and cringe. i would do anything to be normal. i want to be desired, unique. i know i just said i want to be normal and unique. what i mean is the way i am isn't the good kind of unique, i am odd and ugly. i want to be a bit odd and pretty. the kind of girl someone is intrigued by. this is all quite self loathing but i am the only one who will read it . the tip said stream of consciousness and these are my thoughts I try and not think of.

I don't want to smoke that bad when I am writing like this maybe I am smoking so much because my brain is so tangled and I am bored most of the time do to the low energy. i think this is good for me. I'm only 530 words in but this is very insightful. i feel like I'm going to sleep better tonight already.

i get stressed out thinking of tomorrow, I don't want to be on this earth and i think that's the problem. i must do things to maintain myself and I'm not even happy. what a waste i feel. i wish i wrote down what i felt when i was younger maybe i wasn't happy then either.

i want write a story about zombies, they always say be the change you want to see in the world and i want more zombie media. I lack confidence clearly. maybe i will do a meditation after this, some affirmations. I want a good life for myself I just get so overwhelmed. i don't know what I'm going to say to my therapist on Thursday am i going to lie about smoking or tell the truth. its a phone session so i think she will worry about me. id like to think I would have gone in person this week if grandma was in town. i need to learn to drive that is a shame point for me. almost done with the 750 i kind of don't want it to end so that's a good thing. I like this I'm going to do my best to stick with it.

I've been looking at daily routines of people on YouTube, famous people. i am feeling motivated, i feel scared too because what if its gone in the morning. I've gone through so many bouts of depression and relapses that i think I've just resorted to lying down and rotting. i don't want to be that way. in my mind life is a story and that is a sad and boring one.

Michelle my therapist would be happy at my progress today and i am too. i woke up talked to my dad, asked for help which i have a hard time doing and i didn't put it off and script it. i asked as soon as the problem arrived. after that i made my bed , tidied a bit. i cooked cornbread and black-eyed peas, maybe that where I've gotten this luck. i made it the way my grandma does. i need to let people in , i need to ask for help. the people in my life don't know I'm struggling. I'm sure they can sense it, but i put on a front every time and act nonchalant.

inside i am filled to the brim with drama and feeling. i am over the edge with ideas and emotion. there is so much that i want to do and so many things i want to be. i am sick of myself. this year i am going to be different . i want peace, happiness and i sense of belonging in this world. i am going to forge a purpose for myself, things and thoughts to be proud of. these feeling scare me , change has that effect on me. its the autism and trauma. i can doing great things . just because things are hard for me doesn't mean I'm bad at them. i feel bad that things a lot because of how much mental anguish i have , but most things i do , i do well.

I'm proud of myself , I cleaned under my bed and mostly swept my room, made dinner that was healthy. I plan to paint this evening. I'd like to light an incense and a candle.

i only have one pod for the next 5-6 days , that means ive gone through 3 since friday night and its Tuesday night, so i guess around 5 days. these next few days might be rough. my overindulgence and poor planning is going to get the best of me. i feel zapped of motivation when i think about not having much left. im snacking on some BBQ chips, that gives me some dopamine. its 10:18pm right now. i want to paint in a bit i know ill be thinking about my low supply when i do. i like to smoke when i paint. i worked on my DnD character a bit ,not finished but some progress. i got a bit confused and that triggers me to smoke and feel discouraged, a bit dumb.

I don't know what I'm going to paint. I started last night and its just abstract colors. maybe ill paint figures and flowers, I usually do that . ill listen to my new audio book while i do it. she's interesting and strong in mind, just like who id like to be. over all im weary but optimistic about starting this writing habit thing . it makes me feel accomplished and I actually want to do it. i don't want to do anything most days so this feeling is welcome and exciting.

so lets plan my next hour or two, i grab a candle and an incense , come back to my room light it , find some music , some water. ill stand up to paint, keep it abstract and loose. i need to think less paint more, ideas will come to me. i want to smoke i have the urge right now, i want to rip open the package of my last pod and puff puff puff. it really is a addictive chemical, and the choke hold it has me in. its cold tonight 37 degrees outside. my stomach feels weird , I feel a bit anxious. its because I don't have the freedom to hit my juul as I please .I'm rationing now.

I like getting all of my this out of my head. I feel clear, I'm glad I saw this 750 words thing. feels less lonely and like place where i can be me, i don't really know who i am but as i talk more ill be able to see more clearly. the past few months I've just been doing very base level activities , I don't want to just survive i was to thrive, create be someone i am proud of. what to paint something atmospheric, colorful, somber.

im listening to the last of us soundtrack right now and its so peaceful. writing has helped my brain feel clear . everything i think i write, it helps me figure things out. usually i just get overwhelmed and try to distract with games or videos. rather than think i just push every thought and dream away. what are my dreams? i want to be a great painter, a good person. i have regrets. i want to be a painter people admire, i want to be proud and love my work. i want to be able to sustain myself on my art , thrive on it. i want to do interviews and make videos about creating. i want to be happy and free from my vices. i want to live a long life with the people i love. i want to create without needing a substance . i want to be surrounded by my work on every wall. by the end of my life i want hundreds many a thousand paintings. i want long beautiful hair and a bright mind. i want to be kind and empathetic. fun to be around and enriching to talk to. im only 21 i can do these things i just have to change my life and stay true to my dreams. i don't want to old and regret my life.

i need to be conscious, deliberate with my time here. i can do this, i can be who i want to be. i am smart , i am kind, i am beautiful, i am talented, i have a vision. i can do hard things. i lit the candle and the incense, with the intention of trying to get back in touch with my spirituality and being positive. i used to have a lot of faith and i want to again. things will work out for me i just need to work for myself. i deserve happiness and success, love and light. i will succeed this year it will be the best year so far so help me god. I'm going to start looking for signs again, asking for them too. ill pray every night. take care of myself and my surrounding.

im really happy i found writing. when i know what im thinking i can take it seriously, identify what i want and what i dont. Keep my brain and hands occupied. smell is something i dont think of often its important, changes your perspective, adds novelty to your moments, brings me deeper into this life. i need to start engaging all of my senses. smell with incense and candles perfumes. taste is easy, just eating. touching soft clothes, slime, painting. seeing beautiful things, painting again, viewing art, photos ,videos, nature. hearing music, asmr, silence when needed.

2024 words at the beginning of 2024. i like just sitting here writing about nothing, i wonder if its productive. i dont really care, its helping me and i feel nice. i want to keep up with this its cool and it will be interesting to look back on in the future. see everything i was thinking and wishing. let me think goals for this month. make a painting, start to write some of a zombie book, be more active, drink more water. starting medium, may be small for some people but i need to ramp up to doing more ive been sedentary for so long.

this is peaceful i know ive said it alot but i havent felt this way in a long time. like i have a purpose, something i can do, something i want to do. what do i want my paintings to say? I struggle with that alot. my mind is mostly blank thinking about it. i want to incapsulate how i feel, how i see things. how do i feel and how do i see things? otherworldly, out of place, desperate to be free, to be understood, to belong.

#writing #journaling #digital diary #diary #journal entry #journal #addiction #art #artists on tumblr #cw #creative writing #writerscommunity #writer #writeblr #neurodivergent #audhd #autism #autistic

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the-good-projxct · 3 months ago

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June 26th, 2024

9:16 pm Listening to Safa Saphela Isizwe from the Sarafina! Soundtrack. This song is how my country currently feels. Our hearts are broken. Young people were ruthlessly killed simply for standing up for what is right. For what they deserve. Systems never cared about us. Corrupt leaders are fed by the system therefore those leaders don’t care about us either. It is so hurtful. It is so painful. How do we come back from this? A country that shoots at teenagers. I feel like the window of Ruto remaining president is gone. He killed peaceful yute. Sure he has rejected the finance bill but he still waited till lots of innocent blood was on his hands. Like mandem, just go. I am an idealist/Utopian. If I were him, I would walk away now. But also, if I were him I would not have been in bed with the us/imf. The fucked up thing is these colonial entities are content seeing African, Asian and Latino countries burn. Then they deem us savages as they sell us weapons. They will always make their money off of the global South, even if that money comes from weapons. It is sick. It is disgusting. It is inhumane. And that is the history, story of whiteness. It is sick. And anywhere I go in the world, I will always be a Black woman and because I am always a Black woman, I am always reminded of how sick, how disgusting, how inhumane whiteness is. It is truly diabolical. I don’t mean the individuals, I mean the state of mind, the cultural mindset of whiteness. It is capitalism, colonization and racial hierarchy all wrapped up in democracy. It is FUCKED. My heart breaks for my country. I just got here and bruh. Things just escalated. What is crazy is that I called it while I was in Canada. Where we are located plus the corruption, pandering to whiteness, it was only a matter of time before things escalated. I have a mix of embarrassment, hurt and anger. I am also glad I am here. So much has happened over the years and it felt like I wasn’t here for my country, with my people. I was battling fights in the west that impacted people that looked like me but it always felt a bit like a foreign war. They are all interconnected mind you but it feels more me, more real to be here. And even though there is not much I can do in terms of activism since I am a baby in the realm of Kenyan organizing, I can lend my voice the best way I know how. It does feel Gøod to be here. With my people. As a Kenyan. I don’t know what tomorrow holds. It is an unprecedented time in the city. The energy on the ground is intense. Everyone is somewhat on edge for tomorrow. I pray we don’t lose any more lives. I pray our Unity is stronger than those tryna divide us. I pray the world sees the wonder that is Kenya. Because truly, Kenyans are a wonder. We are so smart, so witty, so funny, so quick, so assured, and most of all so Kenyan. It’s a vibe that no one can ever understand unless you are here or you are Kenyan. We are a mood. Najivunia kuwa mKenya. Today, I went to sort out my ID situation. It is done. I am now just waiting till August then I can pick it up. Yoh! I felt like I was in the CIA with all the fingerprinting. Anyway, I want my ID so I can do my civic duties such as vote. It was a nice day, I took a bike then two matatus. It was nice to hang out with Uncle Yusufu as he was my witness. I took two matatus back, and stopped at McFry’s for my weekly chicken and chips. Then I went home and all the stimulation of the last few days knocked me out for 2 hrs. I got up, showered, ate, and chilled with my SweSwe for a likkle bit. Then I came up to write this. I have been checking out the Gøod manifesto website and WOW. Christianito is a website wizard. I am on day three of my period and life is life-ing. Life is Gøod. We are Gøod. Ase. Ase

#june 2024

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aamethyst000 · 6 months ago

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Dude, im so bored but lazy (may 14,24 3:58pm)

holy hell, i could not get to sleep last night. i was tossing and turning, too cold then too warm. could not get comfy for the life of me. there was an itchy spot in my throat that would not go away, even after drinking half a cup of water. i was so irritated the majority of the night. i think i actually fell asleep at like 6am this morning, finally woke up at ten to two this afternoon. like what the hell, was it because i missed a a whole week of my anti depressants? probably. mostlikey. anyway. it was so irritating that i was debating whether or not i should even get up, just sleep some more. my body made the decision for me, i couldnt go back to sleep even if i tried. so, i got up, took the dogs out and made a pot of coffee. im not going to lie, even through all of that, i currently feel neutral about having a hard time sleeping last night. usually, id be in a bad mood throughout the day but nope, just neutral. no irritation or happiness. that normal? not that id know. me and the family tend to have shit sleep schedule. especially me and the cousins. it makes meeting up with them difficult for the both of us lol as irritating as it is, i think i should stop getting mad at that. they work and have a family now, so yeah priorities are all jumbled which is okay. mine arent set in stone either lmao i dont know how my older cousins did it, learning how to be a functional adult, taking care of your body more, eating healthier and whatnot. im bloody 25, going to be turning 26 in june and i still feel like im 16-17. is that normal as well? does it depend on the individual? i keep saying i should talk to my thereapist but i never call them. or even message them. summer's coming up so i think thattl be the best time for me to start up my thereapy sessions again. i dont even want to do my laundry, how lazy im feeling, like i know i have to get them done at some point before they pile up again but i just dont want to lol like those goddamn dishes i keep avoiding like the plaque. thats the only thing i dont like about adulthood. endless dishes, laundry and house cleaning every other week and every month. oh and the bloody over priced bills that we now have to pay. welp, onto my second cup of coffee and sit around in my room for a bit till i decide to write in my journal again. whenever that will be. typing on my keyboard seems to be stimulating for me, i almost dont want ot stop.could be old habit from being in highschool, writing a long ass page for my essay and presentaions (god i hated those with a fckn PASSION). being able to type now feels nice, i dont have to go on my phone to write my journal entries in now, i love it so much <3 anyway, back to laying about and being lazy :3

3:01am - it looks like that i wont get much sleep tonight again tonight. so im going to have a few puffins and watch some sherlock funny moments, or i just might play orcarina of time, the 3D version of it. to be honest, im on the lookout for almost every verion of sherlock holmes, in books, tv shows, and movies. i think im becoming obsessed lol not that i mind it. im living vicariously through either sherlock or john. i think mostly john lmao i dont think i can be that brilliant at solving crimes and puzzles. heck i can barely solve a fckn math problem without having a breakdown mid way through the paper, thank god i graduated. i will not have to go through that again, unless i get back into coding. which i do not think so, considering that it involves aboslute complicated M A T H. i despise math, if you couldnt tell lmao any who, i think i am done here, i just wanted to come back and finish the last little bit of my journal entry, i may add on to this tomorrow. i havent decided on that just yet. like i keep sayin, i really like typing on my keyboard lol i might get over this later on in my life, just not now. cause my god, it is very stimulating to type~ have a good night/day, my fellow readers~

may 16,24 12:36pm - so i decided to add more to this journal entry, i dont know how much right now but maybe ill decide later on or once i am done writing. today was weird. i woke up late again, at one thirty this time and my mood was okay, manageable. until i went to go eat at like 6pm (first meal) and also cook my mother lunch. at first, i only felt over heated. then i started getting a small pinch like cramp on the right side of my hip, then, i felt more over heated. i was sweating, i felt like i couldnt breathe, my appetite dropped but i forced myself to eat anyway (for obvious reasons), i came back to my room to open my window, take off my shirt and see if that helps me cool off. mind you, that took forever, like, to the point of the voices in my head getting louder and mean. i tried so hard to ignore it that i even whisperd shut up. obviously that didnt help, considering that i started crying afterwards. i think i remember seeing clear images in my head too, pictures of horrible things, for sure, but that was the first time in a long time that has ever happened. not since my very last anxiety attack. that was nearly 3 yeaars ago now, even i thought i was getting better, this feels like i took a couple steps backwards. which did not help with my breakdown. im not going to go into too much detail about what i went through today. just know that this one breakdown took a lot out of me. i almost wanted to ioslate myself the rest of the evening. i didnt, that would have raised way more human interactions than i personally wanted, so i tried to act like i was "normal" i never knew what that really, genuinly looked like so i dont know if i did well in that department. anyway, i marked this event down in my personal journal for my therapist to read over. hopefully that can help me figure out what method could work for me in the future. i get the feeling ill end up sleeping in tomorrow too. because of today, that is all i want to do. is just sleep. its the middle of the week though, got dishes to wash, dinner to prep and an appointment to make later on. i wihs i can take off from here for a week. maybe even 3 months would be fine. go to a cabin in the woods, smoke, read, watch movies, not have to worry about other peoples dishes other than my own, not have to worry about what conversations i have to prepare myself for, how muc enerygy i have to use up even though i do not have enough throughout the day. i just want a break from being an adult. anyway i think that is enough for the night so im going to sign off and rest as much i can. cause that felt like a lot. good night/day, readers

#lgbt #2spirit #journalist #lgbtq #they/them #journalist amethyst000 #journal #journal entry

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kaistarus · 4 years ago

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Mistexting Mayhem

Pairing: Nishinoya X Reader

Words: 1.6K

Summary: You accidentally send Nishinoya a text that was meant for Yachi and now he’s knows secrets you were hoping he never found out

A/N: If you think this fic is anything but crack you’re wrong lmao I’ve always wanted to write a fic with this style and Noya is great for the chaos i needed. It was fun

Masterlist

[6:40pm] idiot⚡: look y/n without adhd id be too powerful

i could beet god himself in handtohand combat

god was afraid of my raw fuckin awesomeness wen i bursted from the woom

[6:41pm] y/n: there is so much wrong with what u just said

[6:41pm] idiot⚡: i have absoltly no clue wat

[6:43pm] y/n: put those 3 brain cells to work. I believe in you

[6:43pm] idiot⚡: but theyve reached their daily quota

plz there so tired and overworked

You snorted, a dopey smile on your lips as you laid surrounded by textbooks and homework, swinging your feet in the air behind you. You focused intently on the cell phone in your hand doing everything you could to procrastinate the schoolwork around you.

[6:44pm] y/n: noyas so stupid

[6:44pm] yachi❤: i thought you liked him?

[6:45pm] y/n: jeez Yachi. dont come for my throat

i cant help that i have bad taste 🙄

[6:46pm] yachi❤: if it helps he tripped over a stray ball today

maybe think of that till you don’t like him??

Unfortunately, the image of Nishinoya waving to everyone then biffing it only had you smiling like a dork. How you’d gotten to a point that Nishinoya being an idiot made you swoon, you’ll never know.

You raised your eyebrow suspiciously at the new notification on Snapchat from ‘Tanaka’ and after swiping it open you nearly dropped your phone. Looking back at you was Nishinoya, his head tilted and eyebrow quirked in confusion with a gari-gari kun shoved halfway down his throat. The caption at the bottom reading ‘daaaammn look at your prince charming go 😩’.

You frowned at the picture, letting out a frustrated groan at how your heart accelerated against your ribcage. You quickly tapped out of it and reopened the messenger app.

[6:57pm] y/n: we have to kill Noya

[6:57pm] idiot⚡: we??? what kind of mission is this??? 😤

[6:58pm] y/n: i like him too much. he has to die. its for my own good

You waited impatiently for her response and almost debated doing your homework since it took longer than you felt necessary. You supposed you had suggested murder to Yachi, but still…

When you finally received a response your entire body froze.

[7:11pm] idiot⚡: U LIKE ME?!?!? 😍

UR KILLING ME?!?! 😢

IM SO CONFUSED......

and a lil turned on ngl👀

Your hand covered your mouth in horror as you processed what the hell you had just done. This didn’t happen to people in real life. Mistexting was stuff people made up when they created fake texts for social media to get likes. You didn’t think people actually went through this.

You opened new notifications to escape the hell that stared you straight in the face.

[7:15pm] Tanaka💪: Yo, whatd u do. Whys Noya having a panic attak

[7:16pm] y/n: I accidently texted him instead of Yachi and told him i liked him 😣

[7:16pm] Tanaka💪: O wtf thats hilarious 😂

[7:17pm] y/n: ITS NOT HILArIOUS

[7:18pm] Tanaka💪: Hes askin if its a prank. Wat do i do?

[7:19pm] y/n:I DONT KNOW SDKFHJN IM THE IDIOT WHO STSRTED IT

He stopped responding and you banged your head against your pillow anxiously.

[7:23pm] y/n: YACHI ITOLD NoYA I LKED HIM AND NOU HE NOS WAY DO JI DO!?!????! 😭😭😭

[7:23pm] idiot⚡: THIS ISNT YACHI!!!!

HOLY FUKC U DO LIEK ME!!!

You screamed into your pillow. Were you fucking kidding? This could not be happening.

[7:25pm] Tanaka💪: dude, twice? i cant save u now 🤪

[7:25pm] y/n: betraying me in my time of fucking need? i’ll remember this asshole

[7:26pm] Tanaka💪: so vulgar 👀

You growled at Tanaka’s uselessness and bravely peeked through one eye as you went back to your conversation with Nishinoya.

[7:24pm] idiot⚡: STOP IGNORING ME I KNO UR TEXTING RYU

[7:26pm] idiot: IM GONNA KEEP SPAMMING U TILL U ANSWE RME😤

[7:26pm] idiot⚡: 1

[7:27pm] y/n: what is this twitch chat? fuck

[7:28pm] idiot⚡: your heeeeererererreee 🥰

[7:29pm] y/n: soooooo………..

clearly there has been a misunderstanding

[7:29pm] idiot⚡: oh nonono. I understand PERFETCLY. u LOVE me

its ok. this is a safe space. we can discuss feelings 😌

[7:31pm] y/n: there are zero feelings to discuss

[7:31pm] idiot⚡: then y did u say u like me too much so i have to die?

[7:34pm] y/n: i am filled with rage 🤬

[7:34pm] idiot⚡: rage over how much u liiike me???🥰🥰🥰

[7:36pm] y/n: definitely not

You racked your brain for some kind of reasonable sounding excuse, eventually landing on:

[7:36pm] y/n: It was autocorrect

[7:36pm] idiot⚡: HAH????? FROM?????

[7:38pm] y/n: HAH???

....Nora?

[7:38pm] idiot⚡: Who TF is nora???? 😡

[7:39pm] y/n: someoe i like obviously 😏

[7:40pm] idiot⚡: so u like them but u use my name so much it autocorrected to me? 🤔

[7:44pm] y/n: OK MR DETEcTIVE WHERE TF ARE THES BRAIN CELS COMIN GFROM?

[7:45pm] idiot⚡: i pull them out for special ocasions 😌

[7:45pm] y/n: well how bout you pack those up and put em away

[7:46pm] idiot⚡: how bout two people who LIKE each other SAY something so they can DOOOOOOOO something bout IT 🙄

You began typing a frantic message about how it was none of his business until you processed the message. Then you read it over several times before letting out an audible, “what the fuck.”

[7:50pm] y/n: YOU LIKE ME

[7:50pm] idiot⚡: I FLIRT WITH U ALL THE TIME WAT DO U MEAN yOu LiKe Me!?!

FUCKING OBVIOSLY

[7:51pm] y/n: literally when. name one time.

[7:52pm] idiot⚡: I WALK WITH U EVERY MORNING!!!

[7:53pm] y/n: I thought that was a coincidence???

[7:54pm] idiot⚡: I BRNIG U SNACKS DURING LUNCH!!!

[7:54pm] y/n: I thought they were leftovers??

[7:55pm] idiot⚡: …....I call you cute and invite you to my games.

[7:56pm] y/n: you call everyone attractive and i thought there was like a audience quota or something........?

[7:57pm] idiot⚡: ….i cant tell who i should be upset with rn but i think its u 😑

[7:58pm] y/n: WAT WHY!?!

[8:00pm] Idiot⚡: I LIKE U+U LIKE ME=WE LIKE EACH OTHER

[8:01pm] y/n: whoa. slow down. I hate math 😣

[8:02pm] Idiot⚡: ===WE SHUD GO ON A DATE!!!

[8:02pm] y/n: HAH!? i think you started multiplying that addition problem buddy 🤨

Your cheeks were beginning to ache from how wide your dopey grin was. You couldn’t help but tease Nishinoya-it was second nature at this point-even if you now knew your feelings were mutual.

[8:04pm] idiot⚡: i suk at math but thats NOT the point

point iiissss i think deep down u want to hang out and cuddle and fall in love

maybe even..... 😏 kiiisssss

[8:04pm] y/n: WHOA WHOA WHOA

WARN ME BEFORE YOU GET NSFW

i would never premarital eye-contact. let alone k🤢ki-🤢🤢kiss🤢🤮🤮

[8:05pm] idiot⚡: well we would have socks on 🙄

[8:06pm] y/n: oh. well if there’s protection

[8:06pm] idiot⚡: Im not a maniac

[8:07pm] y/n: i suppose as long as you dont do something stoopid

like faceplant in public

that would be humiliating

[8:08pm] idiot⚡: I-

who told you that 😠

[8:08pm] y/n: i have spies everywhere noya

youre never safe

[8:09pm] Idiot⚡: kinda hot 👀

makin me fear for my life like that👀

[8:10pm] y/n: i hate that i like you

It kills me inside

i feel braincels leaving with every conversation

[8:12pm] Idiot⚡: fan behavior 😏

so am i taking u to eat tomorow or wat?

[8:14pm] y/n: if I HAVE to 🙄

[8:14pm] Idiot⚡: No u GET to

I am a fucking delite 😤

[8:15pm] y/n: whatever helps you sleep at night

[8:15pm] Idiot⚡: nothing helps me sleep at night. this mind never rests

[8:16pm] y/n: thinking 24/7 and still not a smart thing comes out of that mouth 👀

[8:17pm] Idiot⚡: yas, bully me more 😫

[8:19pm] y/n: ok thats as much as i can handle for one day......

im gonna pretend to do homework

[8:20pm] idiot⚡: okie... good luck my sweet baby pogchamp 🥰

[8:20pm] y/n: no

[8:20pm] Idiot⚡: 😘😘😘

[8:22pm] y/n: 🙄✋

[8:23pm] Idiot⚡: oh FUCK yas 🥵 shut me UP

[8:25pm] y/n: suddenly all i feel is endless regret

[8:26pm] Idiot⚡: i have that effect on people

See you tomorrow 🥰🥰🥰

[8:27pm] y/n: unfortunately 😘

[8:27pm] idiot⚡: 🥵

You flung an arm over your eyes and let a small giggle bubble up from your chest. Nishinoya was probably the biggest idiot you’d ever met, but you couldn’t help that thinking of spending time with him had you kicking your feet with excitement.

You supposed you should actually get started on your homework. You reached forward when a notification popped up from Yachi, asking if her idea worked and you had stopped liking Nishinoya.

...you should probably break the news, huh?

#nishinoya yuu #nishinoya imagine #nishinoya scenarios #nishinoya yu x reader #nishinoya x reader #nishinoya yu #tanaka ryuunosuke #yachi hitoka #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #hq nishinoya #nishinoya #nishinoya yū #haikyuu #nishinoya yuu x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyu!!#haikyuu x y/n

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exoxobsession · 4 years ago

Text

Attached

Genre: Friends with Benefits to Lovers!AU, Uni!AU

Pairing: Sehun x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: Language

A/N: This is a fwb theme with no smut, cause i don’t write smut.

You didn’t know how you got here. No, you knew how you got here, but you didn’t know where it would end up. It was a drunk mistake, 10 months ago, a drunk mistake turning into a regular cycle. You tried your best to put a stop to it, but here you were, back pressed against the wall and Sehun nipping expertly at your neck as if he knew your sensitive spots as if he memorized them.

It was happening again; he was playing with you again. You both have been friends with benefits for about 10 months now. You would be lying if you said you weren’t attracted to him, but this isn’t what you wanted, you wanted an actual relationship.

Tired, you fell asleep in his arms once again. This wasn’t in your agreement, but you never questioned it because it made you feel loved by him, even if it was just for a few hours. But you started getting confused. It was the littlest thing that got you confused.

You woke up with his hands draped over your bare waist, gently taking his hands off you, you go searching for your clothes as you walked out. You always left, scared of what would happen if you stayed. That would be too awkward. You decided you would look for someone else. No, not for a casual fling, a proper relationship, where you would receive as much love as you would give.

After a few hours after just watching tv, your phone rang. Looking at the caller id, you took a deep breath.

“You left…” he said

“Yeah. I always do,” you said, trying to sound casual.

“Right, yeah, but I was just… no, I was wondering if you would okay with lunch?” he stumbled over his own words.

“Lunch sounds nice.” you nodded even though you knew he couldn’t see you.

“I’ll be there in 15 minutes,” he informed then hung up.

15 minutes for more than enough time for you. Taking the first thing you see in your closet, you put it on. Not caring one bit about how you look because it wouldn’t matter to Sehun either.

You heard a honk as you made your way out. You opened the door as you mumbled a hi and him returning it. The air was awkward, there was a lot of tension. Turning your head to him to his hands grip the steering wheel, all you wanted to do was take his free hand and hold it, but you didn’t, because friends don’t do that, but friends don’t fuck each other either.

You got off at the mall where your regular place was. He led you in and after you both ordered; you talked for a bit, just small talk. Then ate in complete silence.

You said that you had some shopping to do when he insisted he had spare time and he’s come with you. Smiling to yourself, you nodded. Going to the makeup section first, you looked around, trying to find a foundation as he just followed you around. Maybe you guys were fine, maybe it wasn’t awkward anymore.

After a good few minutes of applying it to your hand to see which fits, you saw a girl approaching you. You recognized as Sehun’s biggest headache as he says. “Hi Sehun!” she says in her high-pitched voice. You hated her, but you admired her in a way too. She was brave. She told Sehun about her feelings about him, though he didn’t outright reject her, he didn’t say no either.

“Hi, Kita,” he said without looking at her. Then she noticed you staring at her and asked, “Are you two dating?” which made you choke on air and Sehun rub your back, “No, weren’t no, we’re just friends.” he replied. Just friends. We’re just friends. “You guys can talk, I’ll just check around,” you said as you removed his hand from your shoulder and walked away.

“What were you even expecting, Y/N?” you said to yourself as you wrapped your hands around yourself. “Your just friends, you just an object that satisfies his needs,” you mumbled as you fought tears.

“Y/N!” you heard Sehun call out while you were checking out some summer dresses. “Finally! I found you. She was like a leech.” he said while grinning, which made it impossible for you to hold your own back.

“I’m done,” you started as you thought about what you were going to say next, but he cut you off. “Done with looking around?” he questioned. “Yeah.” you breathed.

On the way back he broke the silence, “Did you know we have a trip to the woods, tomorrow?”

“Huh?” you asked as you looked at his beautiful side profile. “The university is taking us to the woods for a campaign experience.” Oh.

“Who told you?” you knew the answer, but you acted like you didn’t. His jaw clenched, “Kita.” was all he said. “Can I ask you something?” he broke the tension again. “Sure.” now you looked away from his stare. “What’s your ideal type?” that caught you off guard. Taking a deep breath you answered, “Someone to make me feel loved, someone who’ll make me laugh, someone who’ll pick me on my bad days. That’s about it.” you unconsciously smiled.

Then you remembered what he said when this started.

“What if one of us falls in love?” you asked, testing the waters.

“Come on, you know I’d never date you. Plus, I just want to have someone with no strings attached.” Ouch. That hurt you more than you thought it would. “Let’s make some rules, so none of falls in love. Oh, and one more thing, let’s keep this only till we find a proper relationship”

He would never date someone like you. You better start looking for someone else. “What about you?” you asked, knowing that this would hurt you again. “Someone like-” your phone cut him off.

“Hey Jaeho!” you haven’t seen him in years.

“I miss you too,” you say.

“Let’s meet tomorrow, then?” you said.

“I’m just with my friend. Yeah, I’m heading back home. Bye!”

You soon arrived home, but Sehun got off too, probably just wanting to come with you. But as soon as you opened the door you were in a second and his lips attached to yours, and your back pressed against the door.

You don’t know how many rounds went on last night but you were sore; you turned around, but Sehun wasn’t there. He must’ve left. Disappointment filled through your chest. A sizzling sound made you look up, untangling the sheets and picking up the nearest shirt, and made your way out to the kitchen. There stood a beautiful shirtless Sehun. He turned around, sensing your presence.

“Sorry about last night. I made some breakfast, though.” he apologized as he held up the pan and put the bacon on two plates. “Thanks” you thanked him as you sat down to eat. You looked at him as he just smirked. Raising your brows as to ask him what he was smirking about. He just pointed with his fork at the shirt you're wearing.

That’s when you noticed it was his. You never wore his shirts, hoodies, yes, but any shirts. He got up and put his plate in the sink. He walked to you, leaned down, and whispered right in your ear, “Wear my shirts more often princess, you look cute.” Leaving you a blushing and embarrassing mess. Was it something more than just sex?

You went to the camping site by yourself, and all the fourth years were already gathered. You could see Sehun from the corner of your eye, but you looked away before he could notice you staring. Someone said ‘Boo’ in your ear, making you jump. “Jaeho,” you said as you wrapped your arms around him. All the students dispersed, and it only left you and Jaeho. “I missed you so much,” he said. “Where have you been?” you asked. “Just out and about.”

You spent the rest of the day with him, not brave enough to face Sehun. Then night came. Everyone sat around the campfire and played random games. The next game was truth or dare. You hated this game; you didn’t wanna do dares or reveal any truths. So you slowly slipped away. You went into the woods admiring the shining moon.

“You looked pretty cozy with that guy today,” Sehun spoke from behind you, which made you jump. “Are you jealous?” you asked looking at his face

“Of course not.” the response came in an instant.

“Then why do you ask? We’re nothing but just friends who fuck, no strings attached, right?” you burst within a second as he stood still, not answering or moving, just staring at you. “I want to end this Sehun. I can’t do this anymore. You would not stop, you needed to tell him. “Every time we do this, I fall more in love with you. We need to stop.”

“I know you said not to get attached… but I was already attached before we started this. And it’s confusing me, you keep doing sweet things and then say we’re just friends, like this morning, you made breakfast, though that wasn’t even a part of the agreement.” Tears escaped you.

“Fuck the agreement then.” he cursed. “What?” your voice cracked. “I can’t do this either. Do you know the reason I asked for this? It wasn’t a drunk mistake, it was what I wanted to for a long time.” he said, leaving you speechless.

“I’ve liked you for so long that I don’t even remember what it’s like not liking you. When we agreed not to cuddle after it made me go crazy having you close and not able to hold you.” More tears left from your eyes. You walked over to him and kissed him as your life depended on it. This time the kiss wasn’t needy or hungry, it was just loving. He kissed you passionately.

Soon you pulled away, his forehead resting on yours. “I love you.” he breathed. “I love you too.” you smiled as you pulled him back.

#exowritersnet #sehun fluff #sehun fanfiction #exosnet #exo fanfiction #sehun fanfic #exo sehun #sehun x reader #sehun friends with benefits #exo friends with benefits #oh sehun #sehun

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twiceinadream · 4 years ago

Text

“Trust me.”

Requested: Yup

Request: Dahyun and reader have been best friends for as long as the both of them can remember. When Valentine's Day is nearing but Dahyun's date bails on her at the last minute, reader offers to be the one spending Valentine's Day with Dahyun instead(maybe because there was already so much planned/prepared or something, also to cheer Dahyun up). At the end of the day, Dahyun admits that she'd much rather spend any and every day with reader than with a guy, and in the heat of the moment, reader confesses that she's been in love with Dahyun for forever

a/u: Hey, guys! So I’m back and I hope you enjoy the first fic of my Valentine’s Day prompts along with my first Dahyun fic. I had a lot of fun writing this so I hope you all like it too. I love you guys!

Background: “The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” (In Japanese, is a way of saying “I love you” or expressing your love) and you respond with, “I can die happy.” (If this is wrong, I’m sorry in advance I learned everything off Google)

Category: Fluff

Word Count: 3.1k

The cool spring breeze blew the scent of fresh flowers and fried food throughout the market as you and Dahyun walked by the various stalls. And by the look of all the roses and pink hearts you could definitely sense the love in the air since Valentine’s Day was tomorrow after all and just like before, you would be spending it alone. However your best friend wouldn’t be joining you this year like in the past when the both of you would watch cheesy rom-coms and gorge on overpriced chocolates. She had been asked on a date and you were equal parts excited and annoyed.

You loved Dahyun and wished her nothing but happiness, but the thought of really spending the “day of love” alone in your apartment stung a bit. That’s when you felt a poke at your shoulder before turning to face the brunette, “What's wrong?”

You raised an eyebrow to feign confusion, “What do you mean?”

She frowned, looking you in the eyes as she looked you over, “Don’t play stupid with me Y/N, I know you too well for that.” You shrugged as you turned away from her, not wanting to answer her question when you felt her grab your sleeve; stopping you in your tracks.

“It’s nothing really, so please drop it.” You gave her the best smile you could muster as you felt your heart seize in your chest, looking at the way she wanted to help you but you continued pushing her away. Clearing your throat to change the subject as you continued walking, “So...what do you and your date have planned for tomorrow?” At the question you could instantly see the way your best friend’s mood perked up as a wide smile spread over her lips as you felt your heart drop in your stomach, ‘And I thought I was the only one who could make her smile like that.’

But you quickly steeled your emotions as you tilted your head towards the brunette to talk, “We’re gonna go to an art museum, then go check out a traditional Japanese garden, then go to dinner at some fancy restaurant they really like.” At the list of activities she had planned with her date you couldn’t help but wonder if she was more excited about the date itself or the fact she wouldn’t be single for Valentine’s, because for the entirety of the lifetime you had known Dahyun she didn’t really like any of those things.

You pursed your lips as you looked up to the sky, “Sounds fun, Dahyunnie.” A cool breeze blew across your face as you inhaled deeply, trying to ignore the pounding in your head as you tried to calculate how much ice cream could mend your breaking heart, “I hope you have fun with them.”

—

-The Next Morning-

It was a nearly perfect spring morning, the sun was barely peeking over the tops of the buildings as the sky remained a beautiful blue, free of any stray clouds. It seemed just a little too perfect.

But, that was none of your concern as you cuddled into your comforter, content on just staying in bed till the afternoon before moving to your living room to binge on every rom-com Hollywood had ever produced along with a tub of ice cream and takeout for dinner.

You face-planted into your pillow as you groaned at your own plan, “God, I'm single.” But your small pity-party didn’t last for much longer as your phone suddenly began ringing, you reached blindly onto your nightstand not even bothering to see who was calling as you answered, “Hello?”

The sound of crying met your ears as your eyebrows knitted in confusion pulling your phone away from your ear to look at the caller ID. Your eyes immediately widen at the name, “Dahyun?”

“Y/N?” Her voice sounded broken and shaky - you could tell she’s been crying and it broke your heart that she hadn’t called you sooner - she sniffed hard, “They canceled, they said they found another girl to go out with. I saw the text this morning.”

You gritted your teeth, not wanting any creative insults to slip from your mouth as you were already getting out of bed, “That bastard, I’ll be over in fifteen.” Dahyun hummed into the phone as you hung up. Standing in front of your closet as you grabbed a comfortable pair of jeans and a soft sweatshirt Dahyun had given to you for your birthday that you knew she loved to borrow - steal - from you. Before moving to the bathroom to brush your teeth and touch up on your appearance before heading to the door to slip on a pair of sensible shoes before walking out of your apartment and locking the door. Dead set on giving your best friend the best Valentine’s Day of her life.

—

-Dahyun’s Place-

True to your word you had arrived at your best friend’s apartment in a little under fifteen minutes as you used the spare key she had given you to enter the home. Quickly kicking off your shoes by the door as you made your way down the hall to her bedroom, sighing as you lifted a fist to knock. Immediately after your knuckles hit the wood Dahyun was already beckoning you inside, “Come in!”

You could tell she was still crying by the crack her voice made when she yelled, a sad smile painting your features as you entered the room. Noticing how the brunette looked smaller than usual swaddled in blankets and a sweatshirt, stray tissues littering her bed as you could see that her eyes were red and puffy. You quickly sat on the bed beside her and waited for Dahyun to either climb into your arms or not, not wanting to force any physical affection on her. To your slight relief she quickly made her way into your arms, sitting between your legs as she leaned into your hold. Both of you sitting in silence as you rocked the two of you slightly, her tears eventually subsiding as she let out a deep breath. “Th..thanks for coming.”

She pulled away from your grasp to look at you directly as you smiled at her crookedly, “Of course. I would rather spend my morning comforting my best friend than going to jail for manslaughter, I always have time for that later.” Dahyun laughed wetly as she hit your shoulder, you grabbed it in mock pain as you pouted, “Wow, Dahyun-ah, I come here to make you feel better and you wound me.”

The brunette rolled her eyes as she turned around to tackle you to the bed, “Crybaby.” You raised an eyebrow as you rolled the two of you over.

“You’re one to talk.” Dahyun stuck her tongue out and for a second you almost kissed her, almost. You noticed your staring had gone for a little too long as you released her from beneath, clearing your throat as you sat back against her headboard. “So, any plans for the rest of the day?”

Your best friend deadpanned, “I just got dumped Y/N. What do you think?” You held up your hands in surrender.

“Sorry, sorry. Token single person here, but is there anything in particular you were thinking of doing?” Dahyun shrugged as she played with the corner of her pillow.

“I don’t know, I was really excited to go out today. I even bought a new outfit for the occasion, but I guess we just stay in and watch movies.” You could hear the dejection in her voice as you stood from the bed, looking from her to the outfit hanging by the bathroom.

“I have an idea, but I need you to get ready.” Dahyun looked at you questioningly.

“Why?” You smiled brightly as you pulled out your phone.

“Because. I’m gonna give you the best Valentine’s date of your life.” The brunette seemed unconvinced as you moved to physically drag her out of bed and shove her towards the bathroom, “Trust me.”

Dahyun shrugged, as she began closing the bathroom door. Shaking her head to herself, “Why not, I’ve got nothing to lose.”

A grin broke out across your face as you left the room, doing a small victory dance in the hallway as you let out a giddy laugh, ‘Yes!’ You cheered to yourself as you settled down on the couch to research a place to end the night, smiling as you read that there was going to be fireworks later and you had a perfect place in mind to watch them.

—

It took Dahyun an additional half hour before she was finally ready and you were starting to think she had climbed out her bathroom window to ditch you. But the sound of her bedroom door opening quelled your fears as you stood from the sofa, smoothing down your outfit as she rounded the corner. Your jaw dropping as you saw her.

Her hair was done up in a bun, she wore a brown cable knit sweater, and a flowy beige skirt. She laughed at your reaction as a light blush dusted your cheeks as she twirled, the skirt lifting around her ankles as she smiled at you, “How do I look?”

You were at a loss for words as you opened and closed your mouth like a goldfish before finally being able to form a coherent word, “Stunning.”

Dahyun laughed lightly as she walked past you to the door, “Well, are you just going to stand there or are you going to give me the ‘best Valentine’s date of your life’?”

You quickly followed after her as she threw you words back in your face, leaving the apartment as you both stepped out onto the street, “You bet I am.”

—

The two of you sat in comfortable silence as you drove, the radio playing quietly as the new song by 3Mix played in the background. You couldn’t help but smile as you kept stealing glances of Dahyun beside you, your long time crush and best friend looked beautiful and you just couldn’t help but keep looking as you pulled up to a market. It was busier than it normally was with most people spending the day out with their significant other, leaving the place more packed as you opened the passenger for Dahyun to get out.

A teasing smile on her lips as she slung her bag back over her shoulder as you both entered the street market. Couples walking all around you as Dahyun threaded her arm through yours, holding onto you as you weaved through the crowd to her favorite tteokbokki stall, it was farther back in the market leaving it less busy than the ones near the front as you both went up to the counter to order. The old man working the stall immediately recognized the both of you as he smiled, “Same as always?” You both nodded as he scooped the rice cakes and sauce onto a plate, noticing Dahyun’s arms wrapped around yours, “I didn’t know you were two dating.” He said fondly as you handed him the money, shaking your head.

“Oh um, we’re just friends.” You said shyly as he apologized immediately.

“I’m so sorry, you two just look good together.” You and Dahyun just blushed as you thanked him before moving to sit.

The brunette dug in immediately as you watched her eat, “Do we really look like a couple?”

Dahyun looked up from her plate, “I mean, it’s Valentine’s and we’re out together Y/N, of course we look like a couple.”

The amount of sarcasm in her voice made you roll your eyes playfully, “Seems like Cupid got his arrow stuck somewhere other than your heart.”

Your best friend let out a scandalized gasp as she reached over the table to hit your head, “L/N Y/N!” You cackled loudly as you avoided her attempts to hit you, as you stuck your tongue out.

From behind the counter the old man watched the two of you from the corner of his eye, ‘And they’re so convinced they’re ‘not dating’.”

—

When the two of you finished you thanked the man one more time as you returned the plates, before walking to the main portion of the market that seemed busier than when you had arrived. Neither of you wanted to enter the fray until you got a whiff of the smell of freshly made hotteok hitting your nose. Did you grab hold of Dahyun’s hand and rush in the direction of the smell.

Smiling like a little kid as you located the stall and quickly got into line behind a few couples, waiting for a few minutes before you and Dahyun made it to the front. A lady in her mid-40s greeted the two of you as you placed your order, “Hi, can I get two honey hotteok please.” You gave the woman a small smile as Dahyun leaned her head against your shoulder, watching as the lady began making the fried pancakes on a griddle beside her.

It didn’t take long for the batter to cook as she wrapped in paper and handed it to the both of you, “That’ll be ₩2,000 please. And I have to say, you two make a very cute couple.”

Before you could open your mouth, Dahyun was already handing her the money, “Thank you, have a nice evening.” You looked at the brunette in confusion as she shrugged, handing you your pancake.

“It’s easier to just say, ‘thank you’. They stop asking questions or looking at us like we’re weird.” You shrugged as the two of you made it back to your car, noticing the setting sun as the sky was a mix of yellow and orange.

“Hey,” You looked over to Dahyun to catch her attention, “I have one more place I want to go if you don’t mind.”

The brunette shook her head, “Of course I don’t mind, you’re the one planning the date after all. I’m just enjoying the ride.” She added a wink at the end that made your heart flutter as you pulled out onto the street.

“You should probably nap, it’s a bit of a drive.”

—

Getting through the city during rush hour was a nightmare and a half that you had forgotten to account for as it took an additional hour to finally make it out towards the mountains that surrounded Seoul. The road up was filled with soft curves that eventually woke Dahyun as she noticed that the two of you had left the city and were heading up, the sky was beginning to darken as the moon began making its presence known.

You continued driving past the usual lookouts till you turned onto a dirt path, a questioning look on the brunette’s face, “Where are we going?”

It was now your turn to deadpan Dahyun, “Just trust me, okay?” Your best friend shrugged as she sat back in her seat, looking out the window till you stopped the car. “We need to hike a bit.”

The unkempt grass brushed against yours and Dahyun’s ankles as you navigate your way through the overgrown foliage. Along the way the brunette’s hand found yours as you helped her down the steep path till you came to an open cliff that gave a perfect outlook to the skyline of Seoul. Night had blanked the sky as stars glittered against the dark, a look of awe on the Korean girl’s face as she couldn’t believe her eyes. She had lived her entire life here and she had never seen the city as beautiful as it looked now.

You couldn’t help but smirk as you noticed the lost look in your crush’s eyes, “Beautiful isn’t it.”

Dahyun nodded as she tore her eyes away from the lights to look at you, “I didn’t even know this place existed, thank you for taking me here.” The brunette’s eyes softened as she felt something in her change as she looked at you, a feeling she never felt before. “But I have to ask, why are we…”

Before she could ask, the sound of an explosion sounded as you both turned to see the remains of fireworks. Her eyes widened as more lit up the sky, the sound of the explosions barely reaching your ears as she watched the show. Vibrant colors danced across the night sky as she continued to stare, “Beautiful.”

Your eyes had left the sky long ago as your gaze was focused solely on Dahyun, a wistful look on your face, “More than.”

It didn’t take the brunette long to have the feeling she was being stared at as she looked away from the fireworks. She quirked an eyebrow as she took in your expression, “You okay, Y/N-ah?” You shook your head as you blinked, clearing your throat as you quickly turned to look back to the sky, looking at the moon as you remembered a saying yours and Dahyun’s friend Sana had once said, “The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” At the sudden Japanese leaving your mouth it Dahyun took a moment to decipher what you had just said, when the saying clicked as you looked back at her.

A small smile forming on her lips as she understood what you were telling her before she answered you back in Japanese, “I can die happy.”

In that moment it felt as though the whole world was silent, the sound of your heartbeat in your ears was the only noise that seemed to exist as you and Dahyun stared at each other. A mutual feeling seemed to pass between the both of you as you moved in closer, her hand reaching out to cup your cheek ever so gently as you leaned in slowly. Your hands finding her hips as you pulled her forward slightly as she met you halfway, your lips meeting hers in a soft kiss as your eyes fluttered close. Your heart did a somersault in your chest as the world seemed to resume around you again as the sound of the grand finale of the firework show exploded behind the two of you.

A light laugh leaving your lips as you pulled away to breathe, your foreheads resting against each other as you held your girlfriend(?) closer. A cocky smile on your face as you rubbed your thumb along her cheek, “So. Was this the best Valentine’s date of your life?”

The Korean girl couldn’t help but laugh at your question as she shrugged, “Eh, it was okay.” You felt your smile quickly fade as the brunette giggled at the look on your face, “Maybe you’ll do better for me next year...Jagiya.”

#fortwice #twice #twice imagines #twice prompts #twice one shot #twice fluff #non idol au #kim dahyun #kim dahyun x reader #happy valentine's day 2021 #anonymous #twiceinadream

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the-hate-keeps-me-warm · 3 years ago

Text

weed garden

now I know this joke is dead but I ended up over writing this so some of it got cut this is my first real fic vie published i hope you like it if not feel free to make fun of me It was ruby's idea she was stressed about well everything and she knew yang and Blake had a lot of it, it was legal in atlas after all she only took a little they probably wouldn't even notice she had it for a week just to make sure they didn't

They were sitting alone after training oscar was sweaty and looked tired she leaned over "So Oscar uh what do you think of smoking" He raised an eyebrow "well my aunt smoked cigarettes and a bit of weed during the winter" he said putting long memory on his hip "Uh why the winter," she asked meeting his raised brow "Well there's not as much work to do in the winter so you can slack off a lot more" he responded "Well uh what about you have you ever smoked" she tried not to seem too obvious but she started to nervously fidget with her hands “Uh well my aunt let me smoke a cigarette once when I was 12, but I think that was to make me hate them she bought the most bitter horrible tasting ones she could," he said a faint look of annoyance at his aunt going across his face She giggled and said "from what you tell me that sounds very like her but like uh would you smoke weed like now I mean" He rubbed the back of his neck his eyes darted to her "well uh maybe with someone I trust" She bit her lip and said "well do you trust me" His ears got a little red "well of course I trust you, id smoke with you if you asked"

"Well I'm asking Weiss is going to one of those art show thingies blake and yang are going to uh do whatever it is they do so I'll have the room all to myself so I thought that maybe we could do it together smoking I mean" her cheeks grew red to match his ears He nodded his head just slightly "I uh sure do you want me to bring cookies my aunt would always ask me to bake for her after she smoked" She smiles wide "yeees please the Peanut butter chocolate chip ones or the strawberry ones there the best" His face started to get flushed too "I uh I can make you both I’m assuming you're supplying the, uh you know weed" "Well yeah but that's gonna take a while won’t it, you don't have to make both," she said trying to hide the fact that she wanted both of them "No no I'll make them ironwood gave me access to the cafeteria kitchen so it won't take very long at all" he fiddled with his hands "and besides I know you like my baking and I like doing it for you" She smiled "he likes baking for me," she thought while trying not to giggle "well then I won't stop you I'll bring those pretzels you like" He smiled a little "I won't tell anyone were doing this" he stood up and said "I’ll see you tomorrow I got to get baking I might make some other things"

She nodded her head and they split up when she got back to her room she was practically bouncing with excitement yang was sitting on her bed "why aren't you tired you and Oscar were training all day" her face flushed a little "Well I’m just kinda excited I’m gonna have the room all to myself" she says trying not to be super obvious "I saw you and oscar talking after you trained did you invite him over," blake says hidden in her bunk “damn you blake” she thought Yang beams excitedly "is it a date!" "What no I just invited him over to eat junk food and play video games" she waved her hands around frantically not helping her case

Yang deadpans "you asked him to come to your dorm room alone he might be oscar but he's still a teenage boy ruby he’s gonna think it’s a date" Ruby crossed her arms and grumbled "Look if you don't like him that's ok but it's obvious to everyone how much he likes you so if you don’t like him don't lead him on make sure he understands how you feel" Blake chimed in peeking out from her bunk

"I uh I think I like him but I don't know if I want things to change yet and I'm not even sure if he likes me " she sits down on her bed

Yang hops down from her bed and sits next to ruby throwing an arm around her shoulder "that's perfectly ok if you feel that way but oscar likes you the way he stares at you the way he talks about you it's obvious" she smiles at ruby's red cheeks and tries to finish her speech with "but if you do decide you like him to make sure to practice safe-uhg" ruby ends it with a punch to the gut "Yaaang shut up even if i do like him I'm not talking about that" she squeaks and reals back for another punch yang puts her hands up in surrender "Alright Oscar would probably have a heart attack anyway I’m just saying" yang kisses ruby on the forehead like she always did "you should try to talk to him about it ok" Ruby grumbles a simple "I’ll try"

Oscar is having a similar time

Nora hugs him tightly "ooo my baby's going on a date" oscar blushes as ren pulls Nora off of him "It’s not a date she just invited me over to play video games and stuff" he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly Jaune sitting at the small table "Oscar you know she's into you and isn't it weird that she waited till everyone would be gone to invite you over" Oscars face flushed an even deeper red than it had been before and he frowns "well I don't think she is I’m sure she has lots of better people to choose from" Ren put his hand on Oscar’s shoulder "Oscar please do not doubt yourself you’re great"

"Yeah you’re a total catch Oscar your smart cute strong brave you have freckles and your cool with the headmaster of atlas" Nora chimed in counting his positive traits on her fingers "Thanks" is the only response Oscar can think of his embarrassment only growing "Now you need to pick out what your gonna wear and what your gonna say," Nora says standing quickly "Nora he doesn't need us to meddle with it if you need to advise Oscar you just have to ask I would recommend wearing something casual," ren said "Alright I will"

They both went to bed thinking about their little 'date' in the morning oscar started baking and when he has a lot on his mind he tends to overdo it so he ended up making both batches of cookies a mini strawberry cake a dish of brownies and french toast casserole for breakfast

After wby left ruby spent the morning gathering snacks and making the room as comfy as possible as well as gathering Oscars and her favorite games she remembered yang saying that her first time smoking sucked so she wanted to make sure she and Oscars first time was fun

Oscar had gone back to the dorm with all the food packed carefully to get ready Ren was the only one in the room he was sitting on Nora’s bed reading “oscar before you go I need to talk to you please sit” ren sounded serious and not in his normal way so he sat across from him “now Jaune and I didn’t bring this up earlier but we decided it was important to talk to you about because your 15 and we both know what it was like being that age and we know you like ruby a lot” he talked like how oscar imagined his father would “Uh yeah so what is this about” oscar had a vague idea in his head of what it was “I’m going to give you the talk I know your aunt gave you one but I think it’s a good idea for another man to talk to you as well,” ren said closing his book and leaning forward So then began 5 minutes of surprisingly not awkward conversation ren was very easy to talk to ren finished the conversation with handing oscar a condom “now I know you probably won’t use this but I want you to be safe ok and please don’t do anything you don’t think you’re ready for” Oscars’ face was pretty red after that but he put the condom in his back pocket and thanked ren before taking everything he needed to Ruby's room She opened the door right as he was about to knock “oscar I was just about to come to get you” She said trying to act casual “Oh uh am I late,” he asked he would look at his watch but his hands were very full she takes the containers from his arms and sets them with ease on the little table next to the window

“Nope I was just getting impatient,” she says spinning back around to face him she was in her pajamas he thought she looked really cute he was just wearing his old pants and a comfy sweater he had bought in argus “Well do you want to uh you know smoke” he tried to not sound awkward but the boy can only do so much “Yeah sure let me get it” she was excited to finally be able to relax with him she lifted her mattress and pulled out the joint it was in a plastic bag with the lighter she had picked up in atlas she sits down on her bed which she had piled blankets and pillows on she beckons him to sit with her and he does leave space between them

“Alright so I guess I’ll go first,” she says lighting the joint then inhaling and immediately coughing

Oscar leans closer “are you ok” the actual worry in his voice makes rubies heart squeeze a little but she tries to play it cool “yeah yeah it’s just rough do you want to try,” she says holding it out to him he gently takes is and holds it up to his lips slowly inhaling then coughing himself covering his mouth and holding it back out to her “your right that’s rough”

Ruby laughs “I told you” they pass it back and forth for a little bit they had both begun to feel it then oscar giggles

“What’s so funny,” she says nudging him with her shoulders he giggles again and says “your name is ruby carmine rose all your names are words for red” ruby laughs “ha your right wait what’s your middle name is it funny” oscar leans back onto a pillow “no its magus it means uh sorcerer oh I don’t like that I just put that together” oscar starts to laugh and in between laughs says “ha that makes way too much sense man maybe destiny exist it was my great grandfather’s name, oh god” Oscars laugh becomes Weezy and ruby leans on him “well I think its a cool name” oscar stops laughing and says “well I guess it is its fitting at least right” he inhales again and passes it back to ruby it’s over halfway burned out she's been asking it in an old red solo cup “you know what about we bust out those snacks I don’t know about you but I’m really hungry” she sits up oscar does right after he stands and gets the cookies before she does he hands her the tupperware box of the strawberry chocolate chip she smiles and giggles “thanks cookie” she says bursting into laughter after

Oscar cocks his head to the side “cookie?” rubies laughter grows more intense “it’s my nickname for you in my head it’s so dumb it’s because your sweet and your freckles look like chocolate chips” oscar started to laugh as well “that’s adorable ruby” he says as her face gets red they both sit back down this time oscar leaning on ruby and then their silent ruby thought maybe oscar had fallen asleep “You know ruby you are like the coolest person I’ve ever met like your the youngest person to get to beacon a silver-eyed warrior and your the leader of your team that’s all amazing,” he said still leaned against her she smiled and her face got hot

“Well I think you’re cool to oscar,” she said munching on a strawberry chocolate chip cookie

He looks up with the biggest smile she’s ever seen him wear “thanks that means a lot” he bites his lip “do you wanna play some video games” he said with a mischievous grin

“Yes I was looking forward to kicking your ass,” she said as they pull their scrolls out and start playing Grimm beat down Vl a game ruby rocked at and oscar had never managed to beat her at when they started to play and oscar was doing way too well he was doing combos and not just button mashing he was blocking and dodging ruby was getting frustrated she leaned forward preparing to up her game and up her game she did but it wasn’t enough oscar took the first round than the second even ending it with a fatality

Ruby groaned in frustration taking another drag of the joint then passing it to oscar “how did you get so good is it the weed do you have weed powers”

Oscar laughed and said “I don’t know I just feel super relaxed and your moving slower” She crosses her arms with a fake pout “were gonna say weed powers hm what do you wanna do now I am tired but a nap seems like a waste" There's a sparkle in Oscars eye "a nap sounds awesome" Well uh wanna take a nap I thought you were asleep earlier" he lays his head back down on her shoulder "You know usually id be nervous about being so close to you but this is nice you smell like metal" "Hm really? I thought I’d smell like weed or I don't know rose petals," she says "Well you do smell like weed but mostly metal When you use your semblance you do smell like roses but when you work with crescent rose a bunch you smell like metal oh wow that probably sounded creepy" She shakes her head "no its kinda sweet you smell like weed and cookies my favorite smell"

"Thanks, I guess," oscar says then goes silent his breathing slows down after a while she looks at him and he looks like he’s asleep she needs to grab another cookie so she carefully lays him down and grabs another cookie trying to quietly eat it revealing in its deliciousness after finishing it she lays down beside him resting her head on his chest "he's really warm," she thinks and then drifts off to the most peaceful sleep she's had in a long time

___________________________________

sorry if this was formatted badly or its just bad i liked making it tho

#rwby #rosegarden #weegarden #ruby rose #oscar pine #oscar is a simp #he can cook good ok #ruby is also a simp #everyone ships it yang and nora are the captains #big brother ren #this was so much fun

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whatdoesshedotothem · 3 years ago

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Wednesday 27 December 1837

7 25

12 5

fine morning and F42° at 8 ¼ - a few minutes with A- and then went out – with Robert Mann + 5 planting out laurustinus and hollies on the terraces till breakfast at 9 in about ½ hour – then a little while with A- while she spoke to Booth and sent him to see the damage done at Waterlane mill and then out again about 10 – at the terraces planting and levelling and about till came in about 12 ¾ - and A- soon returned from Cliff hill – ½ hour expecting Mr. Bull, but he has not come – from about 1 ½ to 3 wrote 3 pages and ends altogether different from what I wrote on Saturday and Monday – (A- thought it vapourish) to Lady V.C. certainly not vapourish – kind affectionate easy chitchat – beginning with the subject of the sponsorship – ‘there is no difficulty, my dearest Vere, in bespeaking my interest for a little Sibbella – the difficulty would be to persuade me, that such a miss was ‘a miss in every sense of the word’ and such a labour ‘labour lost’ – your own little homemade Donald may be a perfect specimen of your art, and it will give me great pleasure to congratulate you an ½ a doz. more such chess d’oeuvre – but may the coming ides of March rather ratify your conviction than gratify your wish! – I think there will be no danger in promising whatever the rubic may require for the amiable little person in putto may she come quickly and in smiles! – it will delight me to hear that she has given less trouble than any of the rest – never fancy me gone till you hear it from myself – Xmas is already past; and here I am business-bound as ever – I am sick almost to death of it – but my patience must last a little longer, if it can – I told dear Lady Stuart, I hoped to be off by the end of next month – nous verrons – some of my concerns have gone very crossly – they seem, however, to have turned to the right at last; and I am diligently trying to attain the happy state of hoping all things – then chitchat to the end – love to Lady Harriet – it would do me good to hear from her – if once afloat again I shall write and tell her – Lady S- must miss V- comfortable as I hope she (Lady S-) is – ‘we cling to those and that to whom and which we have been accustomed – ‘affections are stubborn things’ – and when they root deep, they root forever – vale, valeque, my dearest Vere – Buona notte – Do you sing much now? or is your own voice hushed by sweetest harmony of cherub kind? always affectionately yours AL’ – then in 20 minutes wrote 2 ½ widish written pages of inquiry after M- thought she would have been here or written before this – had told her I should be anxious to hear of herself her mother and Mrs. Milne the weather sickly – afraid for her – she could not think us gone, as I promised not to go without telling her – have had 4 servants ill – now better that if M- comes tomorrow we can give her welcome and cheer enough to keep body and soul together and something to spare – not to pother to write a long letter – a line or 2 will satisfy me if conveying the intelligence of her being well – A-‘s love – ‘Believe me always, my dearest Mary, very affectionately and especially yours AL.’

SH:7/ML/E/21/0021

had written the whole of the last p. at 3 55 and went out at 4 – with Robert Mann and co. on the terraces till near 5 – A- had had Booth after his seeing the Waterlane mill – too much water in the brook now to judge exactly of the damage done – but nothing very serious – the end of the mill was ‘swagged’ before, and is rather more swagged but will not get worse so long as the wheel does not go – and it cannot go till repaired – the ashler of the wheel-race undermined – this will want relaying – perhaps £20 will set all to rights – about 10 minutes talking to B- till 5 – then walked a little in front of the house and came in - a few minutes with A- dressed – while she sat by me in the blue room and read my letters – then read from p. 100 to 150 Bernards on the constitution sealed, and sent off my letters – to ‘the Lady Vere Cameron, at Lady Baird’s Valley-field, Dunfermline Fifeshire – and to ‘Mrs. Lawton, Lawton hall, Lawton, Cheshire’ - went into the cellar – 1 A-‘s old port – something the matter with it – an oddish taste – corky? dinner at 7 10 – had Joseph Mann for ¾ hour till about 8 ¾ - he had seen Mr. and Mrs. George Harper of the Peacock Inn on Yeadon moor, 6 miles from Bradford – nice house and clean – the wife much older than her husband – he quite a young man – she a widow with 4 children (1 girl of them married) when H- married her and has 3 children more by him – 5 acres of land to the Peacock Inn – JM. liked the people – thought them very obliging – had a mutton (neck) steak – good – ale good, and gin and water – all good – much obliged to JM. – should consider about it – he told me Mawson was more liked than his wife – speaking of the railroad lengths taken by M- near Littlebro’ – said they joined up to the tunnel to be 1 ¾ mile long 24ft. wide and 21ft. 6in. high (in the clear when completed) – with a 3ft. 6in. deep 3ft. wide culvert all along under the bottom of the tunnel to take the water off - 12 pits in the length – the deepest 107 yards – all 12ft. diameter – all taken by one man – to be done in March – but will not be done by midsummer – they say the man will lose a deal of money by them – talk rates the cost of the tunnel at ten hundred thousand pounds – poh! said I and thought a moment and said £30 per yard running would do it (all to be lined with brick set in cement) and one hundred thousand will do the whole – yes! said JM- I heard a man say £30 a yard – ‘but there will be a deal of throws in it which will be against it’ – there is to a tunnel of 300 yards long just under white windows and another shorter one not far from Brighouse – many people, said I, will be ruined by the railroad – I wish it may ever pay – tea at 9 – A- read French – note tonight from the H-x philosophical society – a paper to be read on Monday the 1st proximo ‘on the Increase of crime viewed in connection with the Education of the people’ – read aloud to A- from p. 148 to 156 Bernard on the constitution – then till 11 wrote the whole of this page finish day will afternoon then damp drizzling but good enough working weather – Edward Waddington and John and Robert Sharpe and Gray got the blacksmiths shop ready for roofing this morning and Mallinson junior put the carpentry on – and the masons raised the top of laundry drying closet – F42° out at 10 ¾ pm when came upstairs and sat reading the newspaper ¼ hour

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opes-magnas · 4 years ago

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『 as lonely as time can get. 』

It’s finally here!! I’m a terribly slow writer, and am really thankful to all those who waited for this! Hopefully you enjoy. Thank you so much to @hamjjy, @kaavijournals and Lady L for beta reading this, you guys are the best!

Listen to this playlist here for the best experience!

tw: cursing, body sensitivity, very subtle idea of anxiety and toxic relationships are portrayed.

~calypso <3

I. the moon can't shine on her own.

She looks serene tonight - high up in the night sky, not a single star to accompany her. Does the moon feel lonely like that? Does she ever need a warm hug? Perhaps she gets one from the sun, and he accompanies her all time. Does the sun shine for her? So that the world can see her beauty? Perhaps so. When she can't see him, she turns bloody red; she seems disturbed. Hurt. Lost. Her fury always frightened the humans. It made them shiver inside their homes, praying to see the familiar ball of light rise from the east to calm her down. Perhaps it is better if they could only see her beauty. But does that mean the sun shines, not to show her beauty, but to protect the humans from her true self? Perhaps so.

The sun and the moon are a pair. And they will continue to be.

As long as the moon can't shine on her own.

Let's stop thinking, Luna.

The moon seems lonely.

I look up at the clock. A red, metallic light tells me its 3:48 am, 3rd April. Great, now I can have four shots of espresso for breakfast. Thank you, oh great mind, for deciding that we needed to have that conversation earlier. I sit up on the bed and rub my eyes. The curtain flutters from the soft wind blowing in through the window. Cicadas fill up the silence as I look at the full moon illuminating my room another time. Oh, how I hate the moon. What a hypocrite. I look away, and my eyes find the pile of open textbooks and spark notes I abandoned. A small smile creeps up my face. At least I'll ace that History test tomorrow. I could imagine the Boba Tea reward from Leo in my hands already. Leo. The annoying kid next door who's been stuck with me since I was five. Don't worry, though. I don't like him. Not anymore. He made it extremely clear that I was 'a size too big' for him. Then why do I still hang out with him? Short answer - I beat him up, he apologized. I shall offer no elaboration. Still, a lump forms in my throat. And maybe because he wasn't completely wrong.

I get up to go grab a glass of water. Mochi is lying in her bed in the hallway. This is the first time she didn't stir awake when I thumped across the room. The poor fluffball of a cat is probably very tired from the bath I forced her into in the evening.

You need to lose a few pounds anyways, Luna. Get rid of those love handles. Maybe some fat on your back too. That'll make people find you more approachable.

It isn't toxic if it's true, right?

That night, I decide that my glass is half-empty rather than full, and go back to bed. Suddenly, Mochi wakes up and runs into my room. She snuggles in and throws her paws on my hair like it's her property. I choose to oblige the demon for today.

The last thing I see before sleep lures me is the clock gleaming '3:59 am'.

/////-----

It's too warm in my blanket. I almost want to peel my skin off. I need to get sleep, I have a test soo- I jolt awake. Mochi is no longer next to me. I assume she's back in the comfort of her bed, considering the temperature in the room. I let out a groan as my hand outstretches to the switchboard. After a few terrible attempts, I finally turn on the ceiling fan. As sleep threatens to take me again, I see that it's still dark out and the moon looks just as annoying as it did earlier, its ever luminant light breaking down the walls of my privacy. My eyes turn to the direction of the clock- 3:48 am, 3rd April. Huh, weird. I realize I must have had one of those five-minute, extra strength-giving, amazing nap- Wait why does the clock say it's 3:48 am?

I grab my phone. The sudden light blinds me for a second, and through squinted eyes I see 3:49 am on the screen. Huh, really weird. Wasn't I awake just now - err, earlier? Wait what? I realize I make no sense, maybe I just read the time wrong the first time. My brain is repeating the features of the Hammurabi Code, my drowsy eyes are drooping, and I meet slumber once more.

I barely feel Mochi slipping back into my blanket.

/////-----

I wake up in wonder why my alarm hasn't rung yet. The room is still dark, the moon stares at me curiously. Give me some privacy, moon. My eyes turn towards the clock for the third time this night- 3:46 am, 3rd April. Bullshit. I've been asleep for hours now; I won't need those four espresso shots for breakfast anymore. My tongue clicks involuntarily. Is this some sort of a stupid prank? Leo is definitely behind this, I'm going to hunt that dipshit down.

Come to your senses, Luna. The universe cannot prank you. That's impossible. And stupid.

I grab my phone again. An attempt in vain, I realize, when I see the screen displaying the same time. I text Leo.

| loser |

you (3:46 am, 03.04.2021): you awake? (read)

loser (3:48 am, 03.04.2021): no

A chill goes down my spine. Did the just relive 3:38 am? I decide to call Leo. Two rings in, I hear a familiar voice, 'I said I wasn't awake.' He sounds tired, voice raspy and strained. You'd think he'd just woken up from the but he's the sort of person who thinks sleep is for the weak. 'Yeah no shit, Sherlock. I'm speaking to your alter ego, Thomas.', I reply.

He decides to ignore my bad retaliation, and saves me from the embarrassment. 'Why is my star pupil awake at 3 in the morning? Has she forgotten about the test she will help me cheat tomorrow?', he asks. Ah, this freeloader. I'm gonna kick his ass. My hands move frantically in the air out of annoyance, 'I am not helping you with anything!', I scream-shout into the phone, afraid I'll wake Mochi up in the hallway. She's a bigger annoyance than Leo; no one in the universe has energy to deal with a grumpy Mochi.

'Honey, you love me.'

'You're being delusional.', I deadpan.

'Is my chubby baby irritated?', he says in a fake cooing voice. And that got me.

'Leo, I did not call you at 3 in the fucking morning for you to put me down.'

The other side of the line immediately goes silent. Silence that reminded me of the last time this happened. Silence between the two of us on a Boba Tea study session in the park after an argument, the only sound being the pages of my sociology textbook being turned, and of the sound of baby birds in a nest nearby. Though I know that Leo meant it as a term of endearment, I couldn't believe he wouldn't ever, well, consider me more than just a friend because of it. A few seconds (sometimes minutes) pass before -

'I'm sorry, Lunie, you know I don't mean it,'

Another apology.

I sigh. I'm tired of this conversation again. I'm tired of having to deal with the same problem again. I'm tired of people putting me down. I'm tired of blaming myself. I'm tired of trying to look pretty. I'm tired of Leo. I'm tired of me. I'm tired of another heartbreak. I know his apology is genuine. I know he doesn't mean it. I know he's just being the Leo he always is. But somehow his words still continue to haunt me. Maybe it's because it's coming from someone who means to me the most, coming from someone who brightens me up, like the sun does to the moon. Then why am I the only one taking it seriously? Why am I trying to fit into someone else's standards? Why am I so painfully aware of everything but still choosing to be blind?

Why am I not able to love myself even though I want to?

'Luna? You there?', his voice breaks me from my train of thought. Weirdly, he sounds quite scared. 'I didn't realize how much it bothers you, I swear I won-'

Mochi jumps onto the bed and snuggles into my head again, paws in a similar place in my hair. A weird sense of Deja vu washes over me again. And then-

『 pop! the world has reset.』

My eyes opened in fear as a gasp escapes my mouth. I'm sitting on my bed, trying to comprehend what just happened. The curtains flutter with the wind blowing by. The moon stares in curiosity. My phone's on the bedside table. The clock gleams with a bright '3:01 am' displayed on it. And the problem is that I wasn't dreaming, and I wasn't mistaking the time either.

I'm in a time loop.

II. a tub fills with water only to spill it.

I fucking hate whoever wrote Groundhog Day.

Like who decided that? Who decided to say 'Hey, let's make a movie based on time loops!'? 'Let's make a dude live the same day all over again till he gets it right! Let's make him really happy, then really sad!'

Son, I'm this close to pulling an Ides of March on you.

I seem to be looping every hour, more specifically from three in the morning to four. Five hours have passed by, but my clock tells me it's precisely 3:18 am. Great. My dearly detested friend, the moon, is my only companion in this war with time (sorry Mochi). In the five hours that should have gone by, I have accomplished the following:

Two and a half hours of sleep - though I wake up when the clock resets.

Half an hour of revision for that History test I need to write after I get out of this shit.

Thirty minutes of planning a workout, Fifteen minutes of Yoga.

Five minutes of trash talking the moon, Ten minutes of dealing with grumpy Mochi who woke up as I exercised.

Thirty minutes of wondering if Leo's looping with me, and

Half an hour of figuring out what went wrong, and how to make the night perfect.

I don't know how much longer I'll be able to remember anymore. I've tried everything - making notes, scribbling on the wall, writing on myself, engraving things on desk - but none of them seem to make it through when the loop resets. I'm too tired to talk to Leo, knowing very well that he would definitely not believe me. And partly because I'm afraid I'll lose my temper and get hurt again. I'm afraid I'll end up being the insecure bad guy, and he doesn't deserve that. He deserves someone better. Someone who's prettier, kinder and happier. Not telling him for the time being also meant that I'll never find out if he was looping with me. But that probably isn't the case, the universe is cruel for a reason. This is perhaps its punishment for me. I must go through this alone. No one's ever been by my side anyways.

I'm as lonely as the moon.

/////-----

Another few hours pass. The pop between every reset scares me lesser and lesser. But my desperation to return back to normal is growing. I've been trying to figure out what went wrong for the past hour in the neighbourhood park. The cold air perfectly paired up with the mint chocolate chip ice cream in my hands. Was it me staying awake this long? Should I have just gone to sleep? There must have been something I did wrong that hour. My heart wishes to call Leo and confide in him. And the more time goes by, the more my mind wishes to oblige to that crazy request.

I pull out my phone, which gleams a bright '3:58 am'. It's almost time for the reset. In two minutes, I'll be magically transported back to my bed. I sigh. I can't take living the same hour again. The hour grips my sanity like it is a play toy. I waste another countless moment wondering where I went wrong.

『 pop! the world has reset.』

Well, I guess there's no place like home. I wonder if Mochi was worried the previous hour when she didn't find me in the bed. Do cats feel worry for their owners? Does Mochi care for me? What kind of a disgusting ship is this? Cringe, cringe, cringe. Shut up, Luna. I bury my nonsensical idea of my cat showing me love for once in the deep pits of my mind, and pretend I never thought of such blasphemy. I shift under my blankets, and decide to sleep through this hour, foolishly hoping that the reset would never take place if I was never awake, though I woke up when the clock reset each time earlier. My eyes look at the clock - 3:05 am.

That's when doorbell suddenly rang. I launch up in surprise. This didn't happen before. My heart begins to pound extremely hard, my head hazed in confusion. I run towards the door as quickly as possible stirring Mochi awake in the process, and fling it open.

It's Leo. And he's in tears.

His eyes are filled with fear, breath unsteady. Beads of sweat line his neck as he tries to get words out. Leo grips my hands tightly, as though he wants me to hold him and tell him it was going to be okay. This hasn't happened in a very long time. He's gotten a much better hold on his anxiety in the past few years. I pull him into a hug and mutter words of comfort. His head is leaning on mine, and his breath slows. I tell him we'd be alright, and hum a calming tune. And we stay like that for the next five minutes.

'Luna,', Leo whispers into the night. 'Would you believe me if I told you something crazy?'

'Like what?'

'Like a war against the clock.'

And that's when I knew. Tears start brimming in my eyes as I give out a sigh of relief. 'Like a time loop?', I say as I hug Leo a little tighter. This time I needed one to remind me I wasn't alone. He seems to catch on as well, a sob escapes from him as he melts in. We stay in each other's arms, in each other's comfort - a place where walls were deaf to all the shared secrets, a sanctuary with no limits.

Oh, what I'd do to protect it.

Leo pulls away, his eyes disappear and his lips form into a sheepish grin. His face is puffy from all the crying, but it glows in the soft moonlight. My eyes widen in surprise as he grabs my hand and drags me out the door. I manage to see the clock on the kitchen counter gleaming with a bright '3:15 am.' before blood rushed to my face upon meeting the cold air.

'Where are we going? Are yo- ah it's fucking cold out here!', I complain.

'Ice Cream.' Classic hungry Leo. This boy is a demon.

iii. the twilight hour.

'What's wrong with you?!', I huff as I bend down to catch my breath and hide myself under a tree. Leo, on the other hand, is breathing quite easy, a stupid grin plastered on his face (oh, how I want to punch him). His hands hold up a bag with three tubs of mint chocolate Ice Cream like they're the greatest creation of God. 'Did you really have to steal Ice Cream?! Are you five?', I say as I recall the incident that just took place, how Leo basically ran out the convenience store with the sweet goodies without paying and left me, his dear, penniless (and only) friend as the bait to a potential flat-earther of a cashier (long story, don't ask).

And now we're here, the park I was in the previous hour. There's not a single soul around. The only companion being the moon once again. His smile shines through like the sun, however.

'I'm rweally sowwy, delulu,', he retorts.

'My name is Luna, and no one can ever be as delusional as you, you dill hole.', I say, my ears red.

'Good now, I shalt promoteth thee to 'Deluna'. Thee has't been felicitat'd.'

I click my lips in annoyance. I know quite well that when the clock resets, all the stolen Ice Cream would be back in the freezer. But I try my best to maintain a straight face to show my discontent. That's right Luna, assert your fucking dominance. I notice that his hazel eyes shining with the mischief I'm used to once again. He's back to the loud, obnoxious and teasing Leo he's always been. Leo who's carefree, Leo who's horribly reckless, Leo who finds happiness in uncertainty. My Leo. My lips slowly curl into a smile, and I give in. He's happy, and that makes me happy too. Leo suddenly pulls out his phone.

'Look here, Partner in time.', he says cheekily. I hear a click. My brows wring into discomfort and confusion.

'What? You look pretty in the moonlight.', he states without skipping a beat. There's a million tugs in my stomach, and blood rushes to my bronze skin. Butterflies soon turn into more sinister as I remember our conversation on the phone earlier. My face falls, if only this boy knew what he puts me through. First I'm not good enough, and now I'm pretty? Does he really throw around stuff like that without giving it a second thought? Does he not realize all that he's putting me through?

This is pointless. My feelings for him are pointless. The amount of time I waste on this is pointless. 'Our friendship is pointless.', I say. Regret follows immediately. Leo's face turns grim too; an unreadable expression plastered on his face. I suddenly remember something I jotted down my sociology textbook.

words left unspoken, my hearts screams, my head's in pain, we are in conflict.

Tears well up in my eyes again. This is a conflict, the most peaceful one at that. Terrifying. One that makes you curl into a ball and wish you never existed. One fueled by guilt, by insecurity, by ignorance. I remember the rest of the poem.

one of us was meant to get hurt, almost as though the heavens proclaimed it, on the day of creation. the celestial sky cried tears of gold, for it knew fate was cruel, but humans are crueler.

My hands are getting colder. My breath is hitching as my sobs get louder. Leo rushes towards me and tries to pull me into another hug. As much as I try to resist, he pulls me into his embrace. Fear devours my heart as I realize how I didn't feel at home anymore. I knew this sanctuary was going to break sooner or later. My heart is sick. It pains far too much as it beats in his embrace. Will it stop if I pull away? I try.

It does.

'Luna, what's wrong?!', Leo asks, truly afraid of what was happening.

'Us, Leo. Us.', I reply, voice barely a notch away from a whisper.

'What's wrong with us? We're Leo and Luna! You're the other half of thi-'

'Stop. Please.', I say firmly. My head feels too heavy, my heart too light. The moon shines down on me in its disgusting glory. I can't take it anymore. 'You're the reason I hate the moon, Leo. Because you are the sun. You only shine on me to mock me. To make me feel inferior.'

'What're you talking abou-'

My tongue clicks loudly. 'You're so hypocritical! You're an asshole who makes me feel like I'm the only one in the world, before throwing me out yourself. You make me feel insecure, Leo. I don't feel like I'm myself with you anymore.', I say, vitriol burning my throat. 'You disregard what I feel for you, because I'm the moon. You outcast me, because I'm the moon. You tie me down.

'You remind me of why I'll never shine on my own.'

I look at Leo. His hazel eyes turned dark, head down in shock. There's not a single drop of water in his eyes. He stands under the moonlight in silence. I can hear my heart palpitating.

'Why do you think the Sun shines, Luna?', he whispers. 'Is it to light the day, or to light the night?', he asks, a little louder this time. I open my mouth to answer.

'It's to light the night, Luna.', he interrupts. He knew I'd say neither. The sun shines for himself. He is selfish.

'The sun sheds it's light, because if it didn't, the moon would never-'

'That's exactly the prob-'

'get to see the world.' I stop midway in confusion. What is he saying?

'The sun shines because he wants the moon to see the world, Luna. He shines because if he didn't, the moon would be lonely. He makes sure to shed the perfect amount of light on her, so that she guides the traveler without scalding them, without making them blind.

'If he never shone, he'd have never have found his other half. The sun would have been just as lonely as the moon would have, Luna. The sun and moon are a pair, not because the moon can't shine on her own, but because they are lonely without each other.', Leo says.

And epiphany struck down like lightning. Leo needs me as much as I need him. He'd be just as lonely as I'd been without him. The moon's identity without the sun hadn't ever been her own. It was due to the sun's light she was herself. The sun made her the moon, and the moon made him the sun. They were inseparable, as destiny willed them to be, for they needed each other. For the sun to shine the brightest, and the moon to give comfort. But all that didn't answer why-

'Why did you say I wasn't enough for you?', I say, reminiscing that day in the park. I remember picking out a bouquet of purple lilacs after studying a book about plant symbolism in the library. I spent hours trying to make myself look pretty. I spent a lot of time trying to make up my mind. And everything came crashing down.

'Because you deserve more!', Leo says in defeat, fingers brushing into his hair. 'Do you know how much of a loser I am? You deserve a hunk-a-ilicous person, are you really going to settle for a noodle?!', Leo says, gesturing to his lean figure. As sarcastic as his response seemed, he meant every word of what he said. That's just how Leo is.

'Leo, that's exactly how I've been feeling this whole time.' I pull Leo into a hug.

Leo is no different than I've been my whole life. He's just as insecure and broken as I am, as I've always been. All my life, I'd seen him as a completely different person. We have different hobbies, we have different personalities. But we're still similar in ways that make us, well, us. It's just that our sanctuary needed to break to have it's walls built back stronger. I feel at home again.

'You're more of a sausage though. Alri-ALRIGHT lemme clear up, you're MY sausage okay? The best one in fact, I will use you in all my dishes.', Leo says as I pull out of his embrace and find a stone on the road to attack the disrespectful brat. Leo runs away and makes his way behind the usual Banyan tree at the edge of the park. 'That's literally the worst nickname ever!', I yell as I chase him.

'Mine own dearest sausage I begeth thee to reconsid'r!'

'TRY ME BITCH.'

'Hey, hey wait.', Leo holds down my hands and blocks my attack, and I'm left with no weapon except for the daggers in my eyes I choose to use against him. 'So, what are we now?', he asks.

'We're still Leo and Luna, dumb head.', I say after giving it a thought. Leo opens his mouth to refute, but soon decides against it. I assume he's content with the answer. We were friends, nothing could ever break that. Would we ever be something more? Who knows, maybe we would in the future when we love ourselves a little more, when we're comfortable with who we are, rather than who we're with.

Until then, we are Leo and Luna.

///////------

My eyes flutter open. I am leaning on the trunk of the Banyan tree next to Leo. I find myself in sleepy laughter as I look at his head lodged in between the roots of the tree. And suddenly, I see light in the distance. I immediately wake up from my position near the tree and walk to the edge of its canopy, heart beating in my stomach and look at the sky outside. The dark navy night melts into a light lilac, small streaks of tangerine bordering the the horizon. The birds are beginning to chirp in the trees, though the street lights are still on.

The time loop has stopped.

Meanwhile, Leo had stirred awake. He runs with his eyebrows up in surprise and squeezes the life out of me before his eyes turned dark in fear.

'WE HAVE SCHOOL.', he exclaims. I ignore him, and choose to stare into the sky. I look at the twilight hour. The sun and the moon were side by side, in harmony, like Leo told me. Tears escape my eyes in a sense of accomplishment. I could rest now. I give myself a small hug, and tell myself I'd worked hard. ('LUNA DO YOU REMEMBER THE HAMMURABI CODE.' 'That is not important right now!') The sun rises up, and salvages the few moments he has with the moon. I turn my head to the side and see that the moon looks serene, her light glow slowly fading as she decides to rest too.

But above all, I see that the moon is no longer lonely.

a/n: ahhhh yes if you’ve made it this far, i truly truly appreciate you for reading this, it means a lot to me. the past few days have been a little weird for me, and it took more than just motivation for me to get through writing this. again, thank you to all my beta readers, i really treasure all of you! i’d really love to get an ask about the short story, so if you enjoyed, make sure to send me one! i hope everyone’s staying safe! stay tuned with us because we have another surprise coming soon!

alatcg taglist: @blue-hairbrush, @kaavijournals, @artbyeloquent, @47crayons, @writing-is-a-martial-art

general writing taglist: @shinesundark, @the-writing-avocado, @raenawrites

@original-writing

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nihyunluvskookie · 4 years ago

Text

I’m missing you //

Pairing: Bang Chan x female reader

Genre: Fluff and maybe a bit of angst

Warnings: No warnings <3

Word count: 2K

Tags: @stayhavens

A/N: This is my first time taking part in a writing event, hopefully this is not boring

{04:45 pm}

I tried to focus, on making new music beats; since I decided to complete it by tomorrow, I have to do this because I know if I don’t then I will miss him like crazy and my overthinking will kill me. While making music, I was occupied by Chan’s thoughts

{6 days ago}

08:01 pm

I opened the door and saw Chan standing, he was holding rose bouquet. “this is for you” he gave it to me, I took it and hugged him tight, he lifted me up, and brought me inside. “I missed you so much, so so much that I my mind couldn’t stop thinking about you.” I told him

He put me down and we settled on the couch, I looked at him, he looked adorable. He suddenly pinched my cheeks, “Awwww I missed you too baby”

“Chan I wanted to ask you something” he nodded “You didn’t forget about our date right? I wanted to take you out… I just… wanted to spend time with you… you told me you’re free” he looked at me with his loving eyes.

“How can I forget Y/N? It’s been three years we are dating but till now we couldn’t spend our Valentine's Day because of my schedules and this time I got chance and how am I supposed to forget? Of course, I remember. I can’t wait” and pecked me on my lips, I looked at him, he leaned closer and kissed me. My hands were securely wrapped on his neck, he pulled me closer and my breath hitched but he didn’t stop kissing me. We met after two weeks and he is on a break now, it’s very difficult to meet him because of his schedules; and I missed his touch, I missed him.

He let me go after he was out of breath; our breathing was uneven. He was about to kiss me again, but I stopped him and he pouted; I gave him a peck since he was cute.

“Wanna go out for dinner?” he asked me and I nodded,

“Let me go and get changed, give me 10 minutes” I told him and went back to my room.

I got changed into peach colour dress and wore black cardigan, applied very light make up. Took my sling bag and went downstairs, Chan was playing with his phone.

“Baby” I called him.

“huh?” his eyes diverted towards me. I walked towards him and he was coming towards me, soon he was standing infront of me. He pulled me closer by my waist; he was leaning to kiss me again, “Not now, or else we might get late Chan. Let’s go” he pouted again and his hands left my waist and held my hands.

“As you wish madam” he said cutely and I smiled at him.

I locked my house, and we went towards his car, I sat inside. He got seated and was about to start driving but his phone started ringing, it was Hyunjin. I don’t know why but he was staring at the caller ID for too long instead of picking it up, “Chan, Hyunjin is calling pick it up” I told him and he snapped out from his thoughts. “Huh? Huh hmm” he said and was about to pick up the call ended. Hyunjin called again, he picked it up.

“Something happened? Jinnie?”

……………….

“Now?”

………………

“Okay, I am coming” he looked at me while talking.

“Yes, I am going there straightaway, don’t worry. It won’t take long for me to reach. Bye” I had a hunch that he is going back to his company.

“I’m sorry.” Chan looked down, I didn’t want to make me feel bad or apologetic, “It’s okay Chan, go and we can meet later.”

“I’m really so-

I cut him off by pecking his lips, being with Chan for 3 years; I know him how he always feels sorry for me when our plans get cancelled but I always understand him because his work is important and dating an idol isn’t easy, I trust him with everything and I don’t want to make his life harder; I am here for him as his support and love; I will never ever come between his work.

“Now go and let me know later, okay? Take care” he nodded and I got off his car and waved at him. I saw his car going and I went back home; I changed into comfy clothes and cooked something for myself, I wondered if he ate something or not. I miss him.

{1:00 am}

I was battling with myself should I text him or not, I wanted to ask him if he ate or not but I didn’t want to bother him. I was about to text him and a text popped up from him.

‘Y/N but I am going to Australia for work, I am on the way to airport right now. I really wanted to spend my whole week with you but I am sorry, I am really sorry. Sometimes I wish I could love you more than you love me.’ I closed his text and without thinking twice I grabbed my jacket, phone, car keys and wallet. I went running downstairs. My head couldn’t think straight, he was leaving and he doesn’t know when he will come back. He is on his way to airport right now and how am I supposed to stay calm knowing that?

I was driving my car, my tears started falling, I don’t know why it started hurting me a lot. I know he was feeling sorry but I can’t leave him like this. I had no idea then when did he left his dorm and I had no idea when will he be reaching airport and when is his flight. I tried calling him but being Chan, he won’t pick up. I was going crazy, how can he leave like this without a goodbye,

“Chan, Chan, CHAN, are you thinking you’ll leave me without a goodbye right now? I am not letting that happen when you always inform me about your schedules and always tell me to wait so why now? I am not letting that happen” I was talking to myself and crying. It took me 40 minutes to reach airport and I had no idea about him. I wanted to call everyone else but I had no guts inside myself to talk to anyone. I parked my car and went inside, I was running and searching for him. I tried calling him again, but he didn’t pick up. I went towards the “check in” area with hope, I was running and my eyes were searching him. I went around the airport for good 15 minutes, I tried calling him again, “Chan pick up, Chan please, uh please pick up” I was murmuring.

“Y/N”

“Chan” I broke down, I missed his voice.

“Y/N” I looked back and saw him standing. Without thinking twice I went and hugged him tight. “Y/N don’t cry” his words made me cry more, for some unknown reason I didn’t wanted to let go of his warmth right now, everytime he went out of country, I felt sad but this time I don’t know why I felt worst. I wanted to hug him because I was sad.

“baby, I am here. Don’t cry.” I looked at him.

“I’m so-

“Stop saying sorry, it’s not your fault. I missed you and how can you leave without a goodbye. How can you? Tell me” I started crying again.

“I felt sorry, I know how much you wanted to spend these days with me but because of my schedules-

“Chan don’t be sorry, I am proud of you. Schedules can’t be helped and I can only wish you all the best and take care of yourself. And it’s okay, and don’t feel sorry, ok? It’s not your fault and I love you” he wiped my tears away.

He hugged me, “I love you too and thankyou for being so supportive and understanding me always”

I looked at him and smiled.

“Hyung, we need to go and do our check in right now, others are waiting.” I heard Jisung say, he came towards us.

“Y/N, you’re here?” he looked confused but understood. “This time too, Chan hyung is going with us, don’t worry we will try to complete our work and will try to be back as soon as possible. And don’t cry too much for him, do you know how sad he was while informing you and he kept ignoring your calls because he didn’t want to make you sad and it was Hyunjin who saw you and told him to find you.”

“Yah, why are you telling her everything like this- Stop Jisung” Chan shut him up.

“Chan, don’t be sad and I am really okay. Just be ok and take care of yourself. And Jisung take care of yourself and be safe.” I let him go, my heart wanted to cry out again but I stopped myself and held my emotions from an outburst.

“Chan go, it’s time. And have a safe flight, I love you” I told him. He pecked my lips, “Love you too and don’t miss me too much” I waved at him. He was smiling and how could I cry. I turned back as soon as he was out of my sight and my tears started falling.

{Present}

{06:00 pm}

I sighed and kept my headphones on the table. I wanted to make this song for Chan and wanted to give him today as a gift. I miss him again. We talked 4 days ago and till now there’s no update of him. I miss him and I really want to meet him, it’s not even possible. He’s not here.

My phone started ringing, I went to pick up in a hope it can be Chan. I looked at the caller id it’s my bestfriend.

“Tina”

‘Y/N you’re free right now?” she asked

“Yes I am”

‘Let’s go out for dinner and have some fun.’

“Huh? Now? Suddenly?” I asked. I wanted to turn her offer down but then I thought it’s better to go out somewhere rather than staying at home and missing Chan and crying over him.

“I am coming, send me the address” I got excited

‘Wear something pretty, I’ll be waiting there. Be there in 30 minutes. Bye’ she hung up.

I went back to my room and started choosing one outfit. Something told me to wear white and red. I took out white dress and red sweater. I put on light makeup and didn’t forget to wear my favorite pendant and the couple ring with Chan. Somewhere deep in my heart, it told me to wear the ring because it’s a symbol that I am taken by him. I took my sling bag, my car keys, wallet and my phone and went downstairs. I wore white heels and went out.

I started driving to the address, Tina texted me. It took 20 minutes to reach there. I went there, it was a beautiful place. I looked at the view and it was decorated with red roses and different flowers, because it’s 14th February.

I started missing Chan, I wanted to meet him and started craving for his warmth. I went inside and sat on the vacant table. I called Tina but she didn’t pick up my call. I was waiting for her and then something caught my eyes. I was looking for Tina but I saw Chan coming with a bouquet of red roses; I thought I am day dreaming and I stood up because my eyes can always betray me. I could hear his footsteps and he was getting closer and closer.

“Happy Valentine’s Day baby”

He said, I blinked few times, my eyes started getting teary. I don’t know but it was teary. He gave me the bouquet, I took it.

“Awwww baby don’t cry. I am glad I made it here and how’s the surprise?” he looked at me and I was still amazed. I hugged him tight and he hugged me back.

“I missed you Chan and thankyou for everything. For everything” I could feel he was smiling. I was just holding him too tight, “I missed you too” he said.

“I love you Chan” I looked at him.

“I love you too” he was smiling.

I tiptoed and kissed him

#staysbemine #stayhavennet #kpopscape #kpop #skz #kpop angst #stray kids #straykids angst #straykids au #fluff #chan fluff #bang chan #angst #stay #love #i love it #i love him

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duskyskz · 4 years ago

Text

- Erasure - 1

Hwang Hyunjin x Female Reader

With washed out, dyed pastel hair, sea salt and acrylic clinging to his jeans, Hwang Hyunjin expected to find himself many places that night. A jail holding cell. Under the abandoned train station bridge. Maybe even his own bedroom.

Your living room wasn't on the list.

Warnings - Some angst in later chapters, suggestive/smut, minor character death mentions, Hyunjin is an eboy and a little angsty, Changbin is doing his best as a big brother, slow burn (?)

A/N - Finally! Sorry for the delays, my head just hasn’t been with me this week;; I hope you enjoy this series as much as I am excited to write it.

***

The steady buzzing of your speakers fills the living room as you watched Changbin scroll through the Netflix home page. Both of you settle deep into the sofa, balancing a bowl of popcorn and chocolate between your knees.

“Endgame? Homecoming, Nightmare on Elm Street?” Binnie flicks through the suggestions, and you shake your head in distaste. “I'm not watching that octopus documentary again!”

“You only hated it because you cried at the end.”

“She died! He had to look after her little babies! Your heart is too cold, too far gone for that level of compassion.” The last part of your brother's grumbles are cut off when you throw a burnt kernel at his forehead, barely missing his ear.

There’s nobody else home. Nobody else ever comes home, either. It's been just you and Changbin for a while, and it's not all that terrible. He’s a few years older than you, having graduated last summer and now undertaking an apprenticeship at the village police station. It doesn't pay a stellar amount, but Changbin reassures you once he passes the trainee exams he’ll treat you to a new pair of winter boots and you can finally quit the ice cream parlour to focus on college. You tell him that even if he wins the lottery tomorrow, you'll work your own job. For all the support your elder brother gives you, you like having your own thing. It makes you feel a little more involved, a little more even than jsit washing the dishes and doing his laundry on days he’s too tired to move.

The Thursday evening is reserved for you both, to catch up on the hours together you miss during the week when Changbin doesn't get back till you're fast asleep and you don't have the chance to say good morning.

He’s been doing that a lot more recently.

Sighing into his coffee, shaking his head at nobody in particular. It's easy to notice the signs of stress and overwork in his face, sunken and tired even on the weekends when he finishes early.

“Do you wanna finish Teen Wolf?” The softness in his voice when he addresses you is the same, though. “We have three episodes left of this season, if you wanna binge.”

“Sure.” You want to ask him about the circles under his eyes. What’s got him coming home later and later because nothing ever happens in this town. “I'm still waiting on Derek’s redemption arc.”

You're twenty minutes into the episode when a vibration from your coffee table catches your attention. You glance at Changbin, but he ignores his ringtone, flipping it to silent.

It rings again, no music, but harsh vibrations drumming against the polished wood.

And again.

Knowing he’s not picking up to make a point of it, you pause the show, nodding at the mobile he’s avoiding glancing at. “Go on. Pick up, it might be an emergency.”

“If it's an emergency they don't need an intern there.” Despite his words, Changbin shifts his position and you know he’s growing hesitant.

“If it's an emergency all the more reason for you to be there and learn.” You state with more force behind your tone. “Why have your grades been dropping? You're coming home so late but your exams keep getting delayed -”

“My grades are fine!” Changbin never snaps at you, but the frustration in his voice is evident. “I'm fine. There's just - Just one case we're working on and I'm nearly there, I just need time.”

You shut your mouth, letting him speak.

“There’s this kid who keeps tagging the beach houses on Dawning Lane, and that shit was expensive to put up last year. Some stupid, bored child that thinks a few cans of spraypaint and lung cancer are a good excuse for your adolescence. He’s not even that good… Just scribbles.”

His lips pout in a frustrated whine at the last phrase, and you know he’s more frustrated at the situation than he is at you or himself.

A beat of silence, interrupted by another ringtone - you almost reach for it yourself to check the caller ID and force him to pick up, before Changbin’s arm shoots out past you to snatch the device, slinking out the door and into the hallway.

You aren't surprised when a few moments later, your brother’s head pokes nervously out the door frame - He's already got his coat on, waving his phone at you as an awkward goodbye.

“I’ll see you in the morning, y/n.”

“Yeah, see ya.” You salute back, smiling to ease the tension in his shoulders, and it works a minimum. You won’t see him till the late evening at best.

The door clicks shut as soon as he turns around, leaving you surrounded by popcorn and empty space. You really aren't surprised - but it'd be pointless to deny you weren't hurt by another night alone with Teen Wolf playing idly through your TV speakers. Cold popcorn only did so much to soothe your heart, and the distance wedging itself recently between your sibling bond was hard to brush over, between missed calls and texts too often left unanswered.

You just really miss your big brother.

You commit yourself to Stiles Stilinsky instead, sighing into the blanket around your shoulders. Autumn rolls in quick by the seaside, making your calves prickle with goosebumps. It's nearing 11pm, you realise, picking up the -

Thump!

Your fingers freeze, hovering over the TV remote. Changbin wouldn’t be back yet, he never comes home the same night he leaves.

“Bin?” You try it anyway, calling tentatively into the hallway. It’s still entirely black, void of disruption.

Clang!

That definitely came from your kitchen.

Armed with a half empty popcorn bowl and nerves of steel, you tiptoe into the other room. There’s a lump of something or someone crouched behind the dining table, and your grip around the glass dish tightens marginally despite the quivering of your knees, fumbling for the lightswitch without taking your eyes off the rising dark mass as it straightens its back.

“S-Stay down! I have corn and I know how to use it!” You don’t have a fully formed plan yet, but you’re sure the sharp kernels will be of some importance. Fluorescent white light floods the kitchen, momentarily blinding both you and the intruder who now stands at full height. A steady 12 inches above you.

“Ouch! Calm down, I’m not going to rob you!” He says, sounding almost exasperated at your defense of your own property. He still has his hands raised in defense, keeping the table between himself and you, and you’re grateful he hasn’t tried to knock your legs out from under you, yet. “I’m not here to steal your stuff.”

“What are you here for, then?” You lower the popcorn bowl, but don’t let it fall out of your grasp. He doesn’t seem dangerous - He doesn’t seem like he could manage clambering through the window you always leave ajar either, but here he clearly is. There’s something sticky and pink in his blonde hair, stains following down his shoulder blades all the way down the cuffs of his jeans. If anything, he looks...a little lost.

“It’s the address on the post-it note.” Your confusion must have been plainly obvious, because the boy elaborates, pulling a crumpled neon-green paper from his jacket. “The post-it note that man gave me. That’s what Changbin gave me.”

Perhaps you lack self preservation instincts, but there’s an uncertain vibration in his voice that makes you give up your weapon and attitude.

“You know my brother?”

“He told me if I really need to go somewhere, I can come here.” You watch slim fingers tug at the sleeves of his jacket as he measures with a weight akin to a glare. “He didn’t tell me it was his house, or that somebody else was living here.”

Bold of him to accuse you of ruining his night plans.

It really did only click in your head when you looked closer at his tangled hair, dried paint clumping it together at the ends of bleached blonde strands. The artistic menace haunting your sea-side town was standing right on your tiled kitchen floor, and he looked downright miserable.

And Changbin had invited him.

Biting down the discomfort at realising how little Changbin had been telling you recently, you set the popcorn down on the table, you take in the threat currently three feet before you. A tall, lanky boy, with odd shoelaces and a sharpie sticking out of his trouser pocket. His hair hasn’t been cut in a while, and probably brushed either - it’d be generous to say he ran more than a stressed hand through it anytime recently. Though chapped, his full lips and wide eyes made him look far too innocent for his own good, and you blamed your soft heart for finding the boy kinda cute.

He did have a leaf stuck above his ear, though.

You almost reached up to remove it.

“Do you wanna watch Teen Wolf?” You break the quiet that settled, already shuffling your feet out into the living room. You sincerely hoped he’d follow. You weren’t sure what you could do apart from leaving him standing on cold tile, and he already looked freezing from the night chill.

Luckily for you, with a hesitant step, your impromptu companion takes after you to the couch where your Netflix and remove still await instruction. Changbin might grumble at you tomorrow at finishing the season without him, but you needed something to lure the boy into comfort.

“I’m y/n, by the way.” You mention. The boy sits stiffly, clasping his hands in his lap with parted lips, avoiding the decorative pillows.

“Hyunjin.” Now that he’s actually inside your house, Hyunjin’s confidence seems to have evaporated. The thrill of the break-in, if you can even call is that, has worn off, giving way to the nerves. He’s suddenly too conscious of the paint on his clothes, of sandy shoes still on his feet, of the smudges still on his cheeks. Should he take his jacket off? Or wipe his shoes?

You press resume, watching him relax after a few minutes as his brain finally has something else to focus on to let his worries ease. Hyunjin doesn't seem to mind you already being halfway through the episode, and you let yourself admit it’s nice having someone around this late at night.

“How do you know Changbin?” You ask while the topic is still fresh.

“I don’t.” Hyunjin bumps his knees together, fiddling with a loose string on his jeans as he shrugs. “I don’t really know him, he just...saw me around a few times, and I guess he figured I could use a place to crash. So he gave me your address.”

“You’re the mystery kid painting the beach houses, right? On Dawning Lane.”

At the accusation, Hyunjin’s lips part, flipping to face you with wide, blinking eyes., knowing he’s in no place to try and deny it. You blink back, observing his reactions, in case he suddenly changes his mind about staying. “Are you gonna turn me in?...”

“No.” You shake your head after a moment of thought, and he visibly untenses. “For whatever reason Changbin didn’t, so I won’t either. If he trusts you then I do too.”

You’ll never know if it was the murmurs of the TV, or if Hyunjin did whisper a thank you, and you won’t ask. There’s a lot of things you do want to ask, but a tug in your heart tells you now is not the time. Hyunjin looks exhausted, eyes drooping with every slow blink as he does his best to focus on the screen, hands previously tugging at his jeans now still and flat on his lap, slouched forward as if any moment he’ll drift off sitting on your pillows. Flurries of fluorescent light flicker on his cheeks, over barely scrubbed paint smudges and faint cuts from running too fast, you guess. In the delicate, dimmed light of your floor lamp, it’s hard to imagine Hyunjin as a bad kid. Prickly, maybe. On edge is a better word for it, tension clinging to his shoulders like stubborn dust bunnies. Curse your naive little heart, you tell yourself, building up your courage to speak.

“Hyunjin?” He hums in response, straightening his back. “Do you want to sleep here tonight?”

All you’ve been taught in life sent alarm bells through your skull when you asked a complete stranger (who just two hours ago, broke in through your kitchen window) to sleep in your living room overnight, but Hyunjin didn’t feel like a stranger. Changbin trusted him enough to lead him right to your house, so that must count for something, right? And no matter how much you tried to keep your guard up around the boy, watching him struggle to stay upright instead of letting his tall, lanky body fall backward and rest comfortably only made you worry a little about him, not the other way around.

Well, he did say he’s not going to rob you.

“You can sleep on the couch if you want, I’ll bring you some blankets.” You prompt him again when he doesn’t respond. “Changbin won’t be back for a while still.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with that?” There’s a lilt of doubt in his voice, but he sincerely hopes you’re serious. This couch is warmer than anything he’s slept on in months and he really doesn’t want to crawl outside again with the rain pattering against your roof.

“Sure, you haven’t tried to stab me yet.” You shrug, getting up to fetch a duvet and looking him over.

“Ah, you probably want to wash your hair from all...that,” Hyunjin’s hand flies to his hair, patting out the tangles as if it’s the first time he’s noticed them. “You can use the bathroom upstairs, there’s towels by the shower already.”

He nods, following your directions with a ‘thank you’. Once his footsteps disappear up the landing, you set about pulling out the couch into a flatbed, rearranging the pillows at its base. Lugging the duvet down from Changbin’s room had been a feat, but you’re determined to make the space welcoming. Satisfied with the cushioned bundle you created, you run back upstairs.

You invade your brother’s room for the second time that day, tugging open his drawers in search for something acceptably pijama-like.

“Hyunjin?” You knock tentatively on the bathroom door as the shower head turns off and the shuffling ceases. “I’m leaving some clothes for you to change into outside, okay? Come downstairs when you’re ready.”

You scroll through your timeline as you wait, catching up on the last few hours’ events from your friends until a shuffling to your left prompts you to raise your head.

Your brother’s sweats hang a little loosely around Hyunjin’s hips, ending just above his ankles, bare feet sliding over the wooden floor of your living room, sinking into the rug as he steps closer to where you sit. His own clothing cradled in his arms close to his chest, you can’t stop your thoughts drifting momentarily to the damp mess of sunshine coloured hair. With his jacket on earlier, it was hard to make out his build under layers of fabric, but now it’s proving a challenge to not focus on the lines of his arms or the curves of his large hands gripping his clothes. Luckily for your dignity, your nerves of steel allow you to drag your gaze away from the collarbones peeking out from under thin white cotton higher to meet his eyes instead and find your voice again.

“I brought down some pillows for you, these are a bit too hard to sleep on.” You note, pointing to the decorative cushions you moved onto the lounge chair. “My room is right opposite the bathroom if you need anything, I’m a light sleeper.”

“M’okay.” Hyunjin towers above you, yet you’ve never seen a boy so dainty. There really is no other way to describe the delicate line of his nose bridge or the rosy tint of his lips when his tongue pokes out to lick them as he mulls over your words, settling down on the makeshift bed.

The proximity now feels different than the air between you when Teen Wolf still blared through your speakers, warm quiet heavy on your tongue with dim golden glow tumbling over his cheekbones that’s too much for your heart to take unprepared.

“Goodnight then!” You bounce up from the couch waving Hyunjin a quick goodbye, but a soft hand wrapping around your wrist pauses you.

“Wait,” Hyunjin brushes his thumb over your palm softly, and you hope he doesn't notice the goosebumps on your skin at the contact. “Thanks for not kicking me out...or calling the police. Y’know, as most people would for a break in.”

The smile he flashes you is almost teasing, but you can tell he means the words sincerely. You lay your other hand on top of his, patting in what you hope is a reassuring motion.

“Sure, Jinnie. It’s okay.”

#skz fluff #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin scenario #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin smut #stray kids #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagine #hyunjin erasure #hyunjin angst #stray kids imagines #changbin fluff

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coffee-cupps · 4 years ago

Note

Can I ask for head canons for Bakugo (and Mirio if you will write for two characters) with a reader who has been stressed out over taking care of a sick family member (taking them to appointments, doing housework, picking up groceries). How would they react and help or comfort them? Thanks 😊 hope you have a nice day!

Ask and you shall receive my child!

@vs-redemption if anyone in your family is sick, I hope they get better soon. To anyone who’s sick or has a family member that is sick, just know that things will get better. They and you will make it through, I promise 💕. I hope everyone is well and having an amazing day!!

TW; Angst, sad Bakuhoe, sad mirio bby, sad reader, and sad author 🥺.

Keywords:

Y/N= Your Name

H/C= Hair color

H/L= Hair Length

S/C= Skin Color

S/O= Significant Other

F/M= Family Member

E/C= Eye Color

Bakugou! and Mirio! with a Stressed!; S/O that is taking care of a sick family member:

Bakugou:

At first he would have no clue what was going on with you. You two would have a scheduled date and you’d say something came up, having to cancel.

He was honestly scared that you didn’t like him anymore or worse: that you where cheating.

He didn’t say anything about it-or, he never had time to say anything about it. He would rarely see you and lately the only time he would get a chance to look at your beautiful/handsome form, it would look rugged and dirty, sacks under your eyes wile dried tears stained your face.

He only saw you late at night when you would come home to your shared apartment and immediately crash in your shared bedroom.

He wish he would understand what was going on, he was worried about you and in all honesty, he was getting pissed off.

When you left the next day, he prepped himself for the evening, practicing what he was going to say, wanting to take a calm approach to things and not scare you.

Finally, the night arrived, Bakugou slept silently on the couch till he heard the door of the apartment open slowly.

He rose slowly and looked at his beloved S/O, there (H/C), (H/L) hair frames there face perfectly and there (S/C) shone beautifully in the moonlight that ricocheted off of the counter from the open curtains.

The tall male strutted over and hugged them, placing his head on top there own head and he caressed there delicate body in his hands.’’Hey Y/N’’. His voice soothing there stress instantly as they couldn’t handle acting like they are fine.

They broke down, falling to their knees, taking Bakugou with them. He didn’t need an explanation yet, what he needed was to hold the one he loved most close to him, letting them know that he was there and that he would never let go.

You sobbed in his chest, holding handfuls of his shirt while you where at it. His large hands moved up and down on your back in a quite comforting motion as he hugged you closer to his warm frame.

‘’Babe, please’’. His voice laced with a begging tone. ‘’Please Tell me what’s wrong! Did I do something wrong? If I did, I’m so sorry; I’d never mean to hurt you”!

You froze. ‘Was he blaming himself this whole time’? “No no no honey, you didn’t do anything wrong”. You choked out a sob near the end. “It’s just- my (brother, sister, sibling, mother, father, etc.) is r-really sick and-‘’.

He cut you off with a big hug. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I was being selfish”. He whimpered as he felt a few tears strain his beautiful face. “Bakugou, please babe, it’s fine. You didn’t know”.

He only whimpered in response. “It’ll be ok, I’ll help you get through this. I know things will get better, I promise you”. His voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke.

You stopped crying and grey tired quite quickly. “Thank you Bakugou”. You whispered, voice barley audible as your eyes fell shut and you fell into the world of sleep. Your boyfriend chuckled softly and used his thumb to while away one last stray tear that fell down your soft (S/C) cheeks.

He leaned over and gently kissed you on the lips before scoping you up into his strong arms and walking you to your shared bedroom where you both would finally get a decent night sleep.

Mirio:

Sweet boy would know something was instantly wrong as soon as you walked into the shared dorm room. The aura heaving off of you was heavy and cloudy while your form looked weakened and tired.

‘’Babe, a-are you ok’’? He would ask hesitantly, his smile withering away. ‘’Yeah, I’m fine honey, don’t worry about me. Just a bad day’’. He nodded, a small, reassuring smile plastered on his face as he pulled you close, petting your (H/L) (H/C) hair softly to calm you down.

You and your lovely lover sat down and shared some tea while enjoying the comfortable silence that spread throughout the dorm.

When you got home it was around 7 PM, you two had tea at 7:45, now it was 8:50 as you both shared a dinner of rice and miso soup; courteous of Mirio and his decent cooking skills.

Once you finished you helped him clean up before; -ring- -ring- -ring-; you jolted as the phone in your pocket vibrated to life. You quickly pulled it out and your eyes widened after seeing the caller ID. You looked to your sweet boyfriend with a pleading look as he nodded, saying that he will take care of things here. You smiled gratefully as you stepped out onto the patio.

Mirio cleaned the dishes before setting them in the dishwasher gently, being aware of his strength and being careful not to shatter anymore plates.

He froze as he looked at you from the patio window. He saw your hand quickly move up to cover your mouth as you quivered, tears beginning to stain your beautiful (S/C) face.

He rushed out, not caring about the plates and wrapped his strong arms around you as you sobbed in his chest.

“Y-Y/n! What’s wrong love”?! He shouted fearfully as he swiped your hair out of your face before kissing your tears. “T-they are getting worse”. You sobbed helplessly into your boyfriend’s shirt.

“Who baby? What are you talking about”? You sniffled before taking a breath to try to speak more clearly. “E-earlier today I found out that my (F/M) got s-sick a-and they just got worse’’. Your voice shook, chest heaving and body shivering.

Mirio’s usually shining face dropped. ‘’Hey hey’’. He patted your hair while pulling you closer. ‘’It’s going to be ok. I promise you’’. You sniffled and looked up at him with you (E/C) eyes.

‘’Tomorrow we can work together. We will help them together. I promise, they will get better’’. You looked down, a solemn look plastered on your face. He only softly smiled and tilted your head up.

‘’I have never lied to you’’. He mumbled and placed a soft, delicate kiss on your soft lips.

The two of you headed to bed, forgetting about the leftover dishes as Mirio instantly put you on the bed and held you close, showing as much comfort and love he could give you without being rated R.

The next morning, he woke up early; getting ready for the day before you got up. He made coffee, went out to get some donuts and finished the dishes. Of course he showers though, it was the first thing he did.

Once you woke up, you where surprised to see Mirio holding a coffee cup and a plate full of your favorite donuts. ‘’C’mon babe! Might want to go get a shower; it would be a shame if I ate these all on my own’’. You simply giggled, knowing that you would get through this, with Mirio at your side, forever.

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

I hope this was ok! I have 17 requests to do and I want to get them all done by the next 3 or 4 weeks. I’m so sorry if there are any spelling or grammatical errors, Grammarly isn’t working right now. If this isn’t how you wanted it, I’ll fix it for you!!

-☕️ℂ𝕠𝕗𝕗𝕖𝕖_ℂ𝕦𝕡𝕡𝕤☕️

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thephantomofthe-internet · 5 years ago

Text

Read Into Me Chapter Two: The Importance of Being Earnest

Steve Harrington x Reader

Catch up on the series HERE

Word Count: 2,030

Warnings: Swearing, death illusion

Author’s Note: This chapter is a bit shorter than I’d like, but I promise that the next one is longer! Also, some of the tags aren’t working for some users, so I’m so sorry if you aren’t getting notifications for this series! If you know how to fix this lemme know!

Tags: @divinity-deos @thecaptainsgingersnap @wolfish-willow @scoopsohboi @herre-gud-nej @clockworkballerina @maddie1504 @i-am-trash-so-much-its-scary @banjino-in-the-whole @buckysarge @wildcvltre @stanleyyelnatsiii @t0rment0 @10blurredsmoke10 @unussuallchild10 @n3wtscaseofniffler5 @alwaysstressedout @peterparxour @linkispink1995 @asharpknife @a-big-ball-of-idk @used-avocado @mochminnie @sledgy14 @lilmissperfectlyimperfect

Steve was so very fucked. He’d been sat at his desk since he got home from school and could not think of a single fucking thing to write. He’d had his notebook open, his typewriter loaded with paper, pen uncapped and waiting to be used, and the most work he’d done was chew on its blue cap. He just couldn’t think.

Writing was not his thing. Reading was not his thing. School was not his thing. He had lines of trophies on his nearly empty shelf-swim meet, track and field, basketball, and baseball for one summer in fifth grade. He could understand how to play a sport. That was competitive, improvisational, and had a core outcome-you won, lost, or tied. The same three outcomes with a million ways to do it, a million variables to get in the way. Math and science were the same, he could swing Cs and Bs in those classes, but English was the opposite. There were too many opinions. Too many options. When he managed to read one of the assigned books for class and not merely the Cliff’s Notes, he found he had nothing to say about it. Everything the author said felt true, even when his teachers were telling him to look for specific things in the narrative. Sure, if someone told him that the conch shell in Lord of the Flies meant something, but if you asked him what he wouldn’t know. And he would believe you if you said that the conch shell didn’t mean anything. His essays were all crap.

He thought about calling Nancy. Nancy would know exactly how to help him, she always did. But Nancy was with Jonathan now and he wasn’t confident that they were still friends at all. If they were ever friends. He didn’t think that they were. They weren’t really friends before they dated. Still, his hand hovered over the egg shell white rotary phone on his desk, a gift from his eleventh birthday. He lifted the phone off its hook, dialling the number off by heart. It took three rings for someone to pick up.

“Eleven?” Mike Wheeler’s frantic voice came through the other end. Steve couldn’t help but roll his eyes, the boy was far too attached to that girl, it was honestly concerning.

“Nah dude it’s Steve, your sister around?” he asked, leaning back in his chair.

“She’s out with Jonathan.” Mike’s voice dropped into one of boredom. “You know, her boyfriend?” he was such a little shit sometimes.

“Yeah, I know dipshit, you wanna tell her I called when she gets back?” Steve huffed back.

“If I remember.” With that, the call went dead. Steve groaned, rolling his eyes as he slammed the receiver back onto the hook. What a fucking waste of time. He’d never hear back now, that kid didn’t like him from the start and would do whatever he could to keep them from being friends.

What was to be done now? He didn’t have anything to say about his spring break! Mr. Lawrence was a bastard for even asking him to write about it. Nothing happened! His parents went to Miami Beach to rekindle their marriage for the hundredth time and left Steve at home alone. He tried to throw a party but almost got busted by the cops with a fake ID at the Pick n’ Save and Tommy’s brother wouldn’t give them any weed to supplement what would’ve been a pretty dry party. He cancelled the party after that and sat at home alone. Nothing much to tell about and definitely wouldn’t fill a page, even if he used the longest words he knew.

Steve stood from his desk, looking through his shelf till he found the heavy yellow pages he’d put on the bottom of his shelf to weigh the sucker down so it wouldn’t fall over as fast. He flipped it open, searching through the numbers till he found what he was looking for, lifting the receiver off its hook again.

Across the street, you were sprawled out on your rose printed bedspread, your head in your hands with Samantha sat on your desk chair, laughing at your pain. “You know it’s not that bad, right? You could’ve gotten stuck with someone way worse.” She said, mindlessly digging through the black jewellery box sat dusty in the corner of your desk. Your mother had sent it from Spain and had filled it with different things she found across Europe. You didn’t care much for the stuff yourself but you kept it on your desk to show that you used it, not that she was ever home to seemed to notice.

Your bedroom was clean and stark white. It used to be pink, to match the rest of your white iron rod and pink padded furniture. You didn’t like the pink that much, and you didn’t adore the white, but you could hide it behind the art you tacked to the wall. Every portrait, still life, and landscape painting you’d been proud of hung proudly in your home gallery. You’d done recreations of your favourite album covers, and splatter art with balloons, and a few charcoal drawings of your grandparents and your father. You’d painted clouds and stars on your ceiling when you were in middle school, and while they had a lot of room for improvement, you left them above your head as a comfort to you. Your father had helped you scrape the popcorn ceiling down flat and helped paint the ceiling sky blue. It was your last project together.

“Oh yeah totally…” you said through your hands, refusing to look at her, focusing instead on the yellow sun spots floating under your eyelids.

“I mean, you could’ve gotten stuck with Tracy Lords again, she’s in that class.” Samantha replied easily, pulling out a green sea glass bangle from the top drawer, running her fingers over the red velvet interior of the box. Tracy Lords was a menace to productivity, at least she was according to Samantha. They had issues, which meant that you did too by association, but she’d done nothing to you except glare and pop her gum at you.

“At least she does her work!” you sat up, letting your feet dangle over your bed. “I don’t think he’s ever done his work on time, he’s always late with stuff!”

“That’s not your problem; as long as you do your work then Lawrence won’t care.” She flashed the bangle in front of your face “You should wear this more it’s nice.”

You shrugged “You can have it if you want.” You didn’t really care about what your mother sent you, it didn’t change the fact that she didn’t care enough about you to be home for more than a month out of the year. Besides, where on earth were you supposed to wear any of it? Your mother loved to spend your father’s riches on random, useless crap and you hated the idea of showing off the money your father died for. It wasn’t anything to brag about.

“Nah, not my style, it won’t match any of my stuff.” She put the bracelet back, closing the box with a metallic thump. “But anyway, you’ll be fine. Steve’s completely harmless.” You weren’t exactly sure if you believed her.

The phone on your desk blared loudly. You begrudgingly jumped off the bed, pulling it off the hook. Your grandmother was still at the hair salon and if you didn’t answer, one of her little friends from the old folk’s home might think that she died again.

“Hello?” you asked, motioning for Samantha to move over a bit, closing your white curtains closed again, your eyes scanning the streets with a bored expression.

“Hey is this Y/N?” Steve asked cautiously. He couldn’t quite remember your voice but he had double checked your last name in the year book and the phone book.

“Yeah, who is this?” dread filled your stomach the second he spoke, you were hoping against hope that it wasn’t Steve. You could see him pacing his window from across the street.

“Hey it’s Steve from English?” Fucking hell. You wanted to slam the damn receiver onto its hook. But if you did that, Samantha would think that you were crazy and you didn’t want to seem like such a baby.

“Oh hey what’s up?” you asked cautiously. Samantha was pulling at your sleeve, mouthing ‘Who is it?’ at you. You pulled your arm away, pushing her chair away from you with your foot.

“Oh nothing much, I was just wondering how your paper’s going?” Steve didn’t really know why he called you, he wasn’t certain that you’d even help him if he asked. He hardly knew you, he couldn’t name two things about you. But you seemed smart, you could be of some help if he had the balls to ask for it.

“Oh um…it’s fine. How’s yours going?” your hand came to the back of your neck, rubbing it awkwardly. You wanted to run away, to utterly disappear into another dimension. You didn’t like strangers, especially the whole small talk part. You didn’t feel like you had anything interesting to say about yourself and you hated silence. Your mind just didn’t come up with questions to ask.

Steve’s face burned. He couldn’t admit that he was stupid now; he was hoping that he wasn’t the only idiot in the class. “Oh um it’s good! I’m almost done.” He said, mentally cursing himself for saying that he was anywhere near finished.

“Oh cool. Do-do you want to switch them off tomorrow?” Now you had no idea what this phone call was even about. In the back of your mind, you assumed that he just had a question about the essay, but now you had nothing to grab onto.

“Yeah sure, that works for me.” He said, looking to his empty paper. He was so totally screwed now. He couldn’t admit that he was an idiot to you, not when you already had everything so clearly understood. You spoke so confidently, it made him feel small and pointless.

“Okay…I’ll see you in class then.” You said. Steve bid an awkward goodbye and you both hung up unsure what the hell had just happened.

Samantha was on her feet, jumping on your mattress “Did Steve Harrington just call you?!?” she cried, following it was it a giddy scream. You hushed her, rolling your eyes.

“It’s nothing to freak out about, you weirdo!” you countered, turning to face her fully with a sullen expression. Your heart was still pounding hard in your chest, adrenalin pumping through your veins.

Samantha landed on her knees, looking up at you incredulously “What? He’s cool! That’s cool! Boys never call you!”

“Way to rub that one in.” you scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. Talking to people wasn’t your strong suit, and while for the most part you were okay with not having many friends, you lack of experience with relationships made you very insecure. “You crushed one of your spikes on my ceiling.”

Samantha reached up and touched each individual black spike with the tips of her finger, finding the dented one at the top of her head. “It’s true! God, I’ve got more guys calling me and I’m a lesbian.” She lowered her voice at the mention of her sexuality. You both knew that your grandparents wouldn’t be kind to her if they knew, their homophobia a mark of their small mindedness.

“Yeah, well, the guys at this school are all idiots.” You looked back to your paper, pulling your red pen out from behind your ear and crossing out a word on your essay.

“You didn’t think Jonathan Byers was an idiot.” Samantha replied. You cheeks flashed cherry red. It wasn’t fair of her to even mention him. He was a dickhead and Samantha knew it.

“Yeah, well now I know that he’s just as big of an idiot as everyone else is.” You muttered, pulling your desk chair over and taking a seat once again. You didn’t have the time for stupid boys, anyways. You had work to do.

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percywinchester27 · 4 years ago

Text

A lot like ‘Us’ (Part-3)

Word count: 3.8K

Pairing: Sam X Reader AU

Warnings: Some angst, some fluff, mention of depression

Series Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is eager and honestly, still in awe that she managed to get herself an acceptance from Stanford Law School. On the face of it, her life seems as put together, mysterious and independent as one might hope for. On the insides, she carries the burden of past that haunts her till date. Seemingly, she’d left it all behind; that is until she sets foot in the class of the Law School’s youngest, most promising professor.

A/N: The story employs two different timelines. The present timeline for the story takes place in 2014. Please let me know what you guys think :)

Beta: @deanssweetheart23 I love you, Athina <3

A lot like ‘Us’ masterlist

Monday morning rose brighter than it had a right to be; to the point that the sun was stabbing you in the eyes. You had been over and over the plan in your head throughout the weekend. By now, you were absolutely sure that you had mapped every second of the day and nothing could go out of hand.

The plan went sideways almost as soon as it started.

You dropped your bag at the threshold of the lecture room with a loud crash. All of the last row turned to look at who was that much of a klutz. You did not meet anyone’s eye as you took a seat at the very end of the top row. Maybe that would make you inconspicuous.

It did not.

“Y/N!”

Madison slid next to you on the bench, followed by her brood of friends. Lacey and the other two, whose names you didn’t remember.

“How are you, Sweetie?” Madison asked sympathetically. “You looked awfully ill when you left the other day. We were so worried about you! Weren’t we, Mer?”

Meredith- you remembered her name now- did not look worried in the least.

“What happened?” Madison asked.

“I was just really faint,” you answered automatically, having anticipated this. “I’m feeling much better now. Thank you so much.”

Madison looked relieved. “I’m so glad, Y/N. I wanted to check on you over the weekend, but I didn’t have your number or knew where you lived. You have to give me your number right away.”

You did, and she texted you immediately.

“Awesome!” she said. “Now you have my number, too.”

You tried to smile. “Hey, if it’s not too much, could you tell me what I missed in the two days?”

Madison became animated instantly. “Well, lets see. After you left, there was advanced legal writing by professor Mills, then Supreme Court Litigation by Professor Mcleod and Organisation and transactions law after that. Most of Friday was free except for another lecture by Professor Mills. I have the notes. Once you put your email id on the class database, I’ll forward mine to you.”

“That’s seriously more than I can ask from you,” you said, feeling small.

She placed her hand on top of yours. “You’re not asking. I’m offering.”

“Thank you!” You said, looking down.

Madison huffed. “You thank me too much, Y/N! Besides, you really didn’t miss any of the fun.”

“What do you mean?”

“Professor Winchester didn’t show up either,” Lacey giggled. “Didn’t we turn up fifteen minutes early for his class on Thursday? And the man never came.”

Your stomach lurched, a feeling you hadn’t quite experienced in years had you feeling lightheaded.

“Well, he didn’t completely disappear,” said the blonde. “He did turn up for the last half an hour of his lecture on Friday and outlined the syllabus of the semester.”

“He looked stiff and serious. Nothing like his first day here. And even that day he stormed off, remember?”

“Oh yeah,” Madison nodded. “Right after you left, Y/N. It was a bit weird.”

You swallowed nervously, your forehead already clammed up. What was it? Was it fear or worry that you felt for Sam? You had been so wrapped up in your chaos that you hadn’t stopped to consider about Sam, assuming that he must have grown passive and wouldn’t care about the past anymore.

Sam had looked warm and at ease with himself that day, happy even, while you had only survived all these years. You’d be lying to yourself, if you said that the image of Sam on the podium, smiling at the students hadn’t felt like a knife in your gut.

But if he had not turned up for classes either… did that mean….

There was noise at the front and you saw Sam on the podium. He looked every bit as dressed up and neat as he had on your first day, if not a bit more severe.

He greeted the class curtly, and instantly jumped to the lesson. You tried not to stare, but it was hard to look away. It was harder still to keep looking. His features seemed more angular now, and he was definitely leaner than when you had first set your eyes on him. Today he was dressed in a dark grey suit and no tie, the button at his throat was undone.

He spoke for an hour about the merger of disputes and cases where it had benefited the original plaintiffs and not once did his eyes stray towards the corner of the class where you sat. It was as if he was deliberately avoiding that very portion of the classroom. He wasn’t genial today. A good teacher, just like he always had been, but absolutely formal. When the class ended, he retrieved the attendance sheet from a kid in the first row and exited the class.

“Well, that was quite intense,” whooshed Meredith. “Hadn’t pegged him for the serious sort.”

Blonde hair giggled at the double entendre, and you almost gagged.

“He’s actually quite good,” Madison murmured, uncharacteristically serious. “He knows what he is talking about.”

Absentmindedly, you nodded. Not that you had paid much attention to the lecture, what with your heart struck in your throat.

The classes that followed weren’t as eventful as the morning and you were more than grateful about it. The other professors all seemed so knowledgeable and expert. You had enough on your mind by the time you left the university, your plate already full of assignments.

When you got home, Meg was sprawled on one of the two sofas that came with the house and were perched in the living room.

“Hey,” you said tentatively.

Meg raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised that you were initiating a conversation after a whole week of thoroughly avoiding her.

“Hey,” she said.

You placed your bad and laptop on the side table at the entrance and went to sit on the empty sofa. “I’m sorry about not greeting you earlier… I was going through some stuff.”

“Clearly,” she snorted.

The hurt must have shown in your eyes, because she straightened up into a sitting position.. “I’m not offended,” she said. “Locking myself in my room and avoiding human contact like it’s the fucking plague is my monthly PMS schedule. I’m not mad or anything.”

“Oh, alright,” you breathed out.

Meg looked amused. “Your face is like an open book,” she said. “If you keep that up, you’re going to be a terrible lawyer.”

You didn’t fight her on it. It was a problem… it always had been. Over the years mostly it had been a blank and your boss had commented on your excellent poker face… but clearly even the dumb expressive face was back with all the feelings.

“I don’t know what you’re studying,” you changed the topic.

“MS, Applied physics.”

“Damn. That sounds hard.”

Meg chuckled. “You really think that, don’t you? You look terrified.”

You rearranged your expression into what was just polite interest. Enough with Meg’s expert face reading class.

“You wanna grab dinner?” Meg asked.

“Sure,” you said. “What’re we doing?”

“I made some stir fry. I didn’t know if you’d be up for dinner, though.”

You felt terrible about skipping the meals and in turn her company over the past week.

“No worries,” she said, getting up. “I’ll just toss some pasta and we’re good to go.”

“Hey, Meg?” You asked, “I see you’ve stocked up the pantry. It’s incredibly kind of you. I might drive to the supermarket tomorrow after classes, why don’t you let me know if there’s anything you want.”

She looked at you with some surprise and a hint of actual liking. “Sure. We can make a list over food.”

“Great,” you smiled.

The rest of the week passed without any more surprises, and you took your time to settle in… getting to know Stanford- both, the University and the town. You attended all lectures regularly and gave your hundred percent effort to every assignment.

In classes, you listened with utmost concentration… all except one. Civil Procedure wasn’t a lecture, it was slow seething torture. Watching Sam talk on the podium, interacting with students simply made it hard to breathe. The walls of the lecture room converged in on you while you gasped for air. On Sam’s part, he ignored you completely. It was as if you didn’t exist at all. Over the course of the week, his stiff, formal stance loosened and you could see more and more of the guy who had introduced himself on the first day. You didn’t know what you had been expecting from him? That one day he would suddenly look at you with hatred and throw you out of the class? That he’d lose his mind and yell at you? Ask you the questions that you didn’t want to answer?

But even for all that, he’d have to acknowledge your presence. Look at you. Somehow the ignoring and pretending that you didn’t exist was so, so much worse. It was killing you. Every second of the class, you fought your tears. However, you did not miss a single class.

Apart from those two hours everyday, you were doing well, all things considered. On Thursday, you packed more food than just your lunch, and after classes, walked to the Green Library. It was just as breathtaking as it had been on the first day. You set out to find that one table that felt right. After a quarter of an hour of testing and teasing, you finally found a desk that looked oh so inviting. It wasn’t the one below the tall, arching windows, but rather a small desk niched between the bookshelves. It was perfect.

You unloaded your bag, and set to work with the assignments that had been set for the class by Professor Mills. You personally thought Jody Mills was a total badass. She took up cases that others were too scared to touch. Her assignments didn’t require you to reference too many books, so you could make yourself comfortable in the chair. Your mind wandered as the time passed. There were a lot of things to be thought through. For starters, if you had to afford living here, you needed a job. Your savings would last a couple of months at most. The expense of moving across the country then having to pay for the lease of the apartment had taken a massive toll on your bank account. By the time holiday season began, you’d be as broke as the china in your grandma’s old cabinet.

Earlier, you had put in an application at the Student’s employment centre for oncampus jobs. You weren’t hopeful, given the number of applications they received, but you sure meant to check in on them next week in hopes that something suitable might have come up.

It was past 8 in the evening when you finally wrapped your stuff up, somewhat satisfied with how your assignment had turned out. You lowkey congratulated yourself on finishing it a week before the deadline as you made your way back home, crashing the minute you found your bed.

********************

18th July 2008

“Y/N! There’s someone here to see you!” Jo hollered from somewhere in the living room.

Thankfully the door to the room you were sharing with Jo was open.

“Coming!” You yelled back, wondering who could it possibly be. Maybe it was the postman with your grandma’s letter. She was a weird old lady who still loved writing handwritten letters. Gramps had been to the war and their love story had blossomed over letters sent across borders. Even though gramps had passed away many years ago, she still got that rosy look on her face whenever she talked of him. You wanted a love story like hers. Was it too much to ask for?

You made your way down the steps two at a time, excited for the letter. Maybe she had sent cookies along with it. Oh, how you loved her.

On the bottom step, you stopped. Sam Winchester was standing in the hallway, one hand balancing a lot of books, the other scratching the back of his neck, looking adorable in old jeans and an open button up over his t-shirt.

“Hey!” He said.

You were wearing a loose shirt without a bra over a pair of boy shorts, with hair falling over your shoulders. Needless to say, you were mortified.

“Give me two minutes,” you muttered and rushed back upstairs.

As you were pulling on a pair of leggings, it occurred to you how dumb the interaction had been. He was here to see you and neither had you invited him in nor asked him why he was here.

To add to your embarrassment, when you returned downstairs, he was still standing at the bottom of the stairs five minutes later, exactly where you had left him.

“Why’re you still standing here? Please come in!” You urged, scandalised that you had kept a guest waiting like that. Gran would have tutted so hard had she been here.

Sam followed you into the living room. Jo was lounging on the smaller sofa chain and you glared at her. She could have easily invited him in when she opened the door.

But no! How else would Y/N suffer in life?

Jo gave you the evil grin and waved to Sam.

“Would you like something to drink?” You asked, not meeting his eyes.

“I’ll have coffee!” Jo ordered and you threw her the stink eye again.

You gave Sam a chagrined look. “I’ll put the pot on the stove for her anyway. Do you want coffee?”

He looked like he was trying very hard to smile. “Black please. With half a spoon of sugar.”

You tried to calm your nerves as the pot boiled. Being a nervous wreck wasn’t going to help your case.

When you brought the two mugs of coffee outside, Sam was reading one of the books he had bought along and Jo was nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s Jo?” You asked, carefully placing the steaming mug before him on the table.

Sam shrugged. “She said she suddenly felt sleepy. And that you should drink her coffee because you both like it the same way.”

Oh, that sly girl.

“So, what brings you here?” You asked, taking a seat next to him on the sofa.

Sam smiled shyly. “You said you could use a second pair of eyes for the application.”

He had come all the way from wherever he stayed just to help you with the applications?

“Really?”

“Sure.” He tilted his head, the bangs on his forehead sliding to one side. He just had such beautiful hazel eyes. You have to avert your gaze so you wouldn’t just blatantly stare at him.

You excused yourself a second time and pulled out all your application stuff. Forms, copies of essays, documents and everything. It would be absolutely stupid to not make the most of this opportunity.

Sam took his time with all of it, going through each paper carefully and you counted your breaths to keep away the anxiety. At least he wasn’t laughing at how ridiculous your applications were. That was something. When he was done, he slowly put the papers down and looked up at you.

“Where else have you applied?” He asked.

You told him.

“You didn’t think of applying to any major universities?”

You shook your head. “I didn’t think I had a chance… and I don’t even think I was cut out for those.”

Sam reached out to place his hand on top of yours. A tingling sensation went up your spine. “Y/N! This looks great. Your essays are top notch. You should apply to Ivy Leagues.”

“I’ve already missed deadlines for them… and there are some good universities on my list as well.”

“But you deserve better!” He insisted.

You shrugged. “I don’t have that sort of money, and before you say scholarships, I don’t have those types of recommendations either. I come from a small town. People who are born there, spend their whole lives in the same house. They are happy with what they have.”

“Are you happy with what you have?” He asked, the light from the setting sun hitting his face, illuminating those eyes so they looked like burning topaz.

“I’m happy,” you said, looking at your lap where his hand rested on yours. He seemed to have forgotten about it. “But I know I can do better… for myself and my Gran.”

You made the mistake of looking up then… into his eyes, and they were closer than you had expected them to be. As if, he had no control over it, his hand reached out to touch your hair, the fingertips caressing your cheek on their way there. Slowly, but surely, he drew your face towards his… and you went, willingly. His lips had barely grazed yours when there was a loud noise in the hallway.

You sprang apart.

“Y/N!” It was Jo.

Ordinarily, you’d have flicked your tongue at her or something for interrupting like that. Afterall, she was the one who kept egging on you to get lucky, and the one time you had… that too with Sam frigging Winchester, she had to come barging into the room. Uhgg… Jo was going to get it.

But her face was completely white, and her hand, which was holding the phone, was shaking.

“Y/N,” she whispered again. Your neighbour called. It's your grandma… she passed away last night.

********************

You woke up in a cold sweat to the sound of the blaring alarm.

Gran!

The worry felt so fresh, you had to remind yourself that it had been seven years since she had passed away. Grief was peculiar like that… even after years and years of feeling it, some days it just felt fresh and new. Sad memories opened up the box of more memories, not all of them sad. The thought of gran was always accompanied by a warm feeling and memory of sunlit kitchen, and freshly baked bread.

This… dream or whatever it was had triggered more than just that… you could almost feel the whisper of Sam’s lips on yours. You had suppressed it so long that the feeling was almost forgotten now and how it ached knowing that you would never feel it again. The raw, desperate part of you tried to cling on to that feeling, the memory of his touch. It was three in the night, no one could blame you for wanting this comfort of your own memories. As painful as they were when you were completely in your senses, in this darkness, they were all yours to do what you pleased with them. However, like a dream, the memories kept evading your grasp. The more you tried to hold on it, the further away it slipped. Sleep eluded you completely after that.

Needless to say, you were tired and sleepy and irritated by the time the last lecture for the week commenced. You hadn’t memorised the lecture schedule yet…. you only knew when the Civil Procedure class was. First lecture on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and the last lecture of Thursday and Friday. Lacey had mentioned something about Sam having to travel to the City for work on the first three days.

Sam was dressed more informally today. He was without a coat and glasses, hair just a little out of order… less sleek.

“Oooohhh looks like the professor had a rough night!” Lacey giggled.

“You don’t know that,” Madison shushed. “Maybe he’s single.”

“Oh, c’mon!” Lacey rolled her eyes. “He lives in the faculty residence on Alverado row. And his house is definitely a family house, not a bachelors pad… So that means he at least has a woman.”

You caught your breath. Alverado row was right behind your Santa Ynes street, where you lived. Literally right behind, less than a block away. You knew a majority senior faculty staff resided there, but it had never crossed your mind...

“I don’t see no ring,” snarked Rebecca, Madison's blonde friend, who was sitting a row ahead of you to the left.

You quickly looked. She was right… there was no ring. Your heart skipped a beat.

“Doesn’t have to be a wife,” Lacey made a face. “Could be just a girlfriend.”

“Whatever,” Rebecca rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t mean we can’t try our luck.”

It stung, listening to them talk about it stung more than you wanted to admit even to yourself.

“Before we start today's lesson, I have a question for you,” Sam said, calling everyone’s attention and the gossip promptly stopped.

“Basic Property damage,” he said. “The plaintiff has proved beyond a shadow of doubt that the defendant is liable. The only issue of debate which remains is the amount of damages to be recovered. Before the last hearing, new evidence comes to light about a completely unrelated matter where the plaintiff has unintentionally harmed the defendant. If you were playing the part of the DA, what would be your obvious course of action.”

‘Settlement’ you muttered to yourself, just loud enough for the few people around you to hear.

“Anyone?” Sam asked, and on cue, Rebecca raised her hand.

“Settlement!” She called out.

“That’s correct,” Sam said, “It should occur to you faster than lightning to draw out a settlement. Good job there. That was quick.”

Next to her, Madison was looking at her friend incredulously. Then she turned around and gave you a sorry look. The boy sitting on her opposite side, the blond one, who had snickered at you on the first day also raised an eyebrow.

You didn’t care one way or another if Rebecca got the praise for your answer. You were simply relieved that you got that answer right… and that you were able to concentrate in the class better than you had been able to uptil now.

Perhaps that was the reason that it caught your attention, the quickest flick of Sam’s chin in your direction, before he stiffly averted his gaze. When the class ended, few students rushed to Sam’s desk, while you made to leave the room.

“Hey!”

You turned to see the blond dude standing right next to you.

“Y/N, isn’t it?” He asked.

You nodded.

“Brad,” he offered his hand. “Brad Rowan.”

“Nice to meet you.” you murmured, shaking his hand whilst glancing at the door.

“So, we have a party tomorrow evening,” he said, grinning with too much confidence. “Down at the western dorms. Everyone cool is coming. You should, too.”

“Thank you,” you said politely. “But I already have plans for the weekend.”

“Better than spending time with me?” He winked, stepping ever so slightly in front of you.

You were firm this time. “Yes.”

“Oh, let her be, Brad.” It was Madison, who had come sauntering down the aisle. “If she says she’s busy, she probably is. We’ll miss you, Y/N!”

You threw her a grateful look… Madison didn’t seem to catch it.

You said your goodbyes to her and Brad and left the room quickly.

Maybe it was your imagination, but out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sam’s gaze flicker towards you… if only for one moment.

********************

A/N 2: The next chapter is Sam’s POV ;) So we’ll finally know what’s up with him, huh ;)

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