#i wanted to write a detailed history section but the post was getting too long. enjoy these ~8K words for now

[nordickies]

Remember when I used to make headcanon masterposts? Yeah, me neither, but here we go again! I don’t often get the chance to talk about Norway in depth, but he has been at the forefront of my mind lately. So I thought, why not bring my thoughts together in the form of a very long masterpost? This masterpost is packed with big and small ideas about his character that shape the way I personally write him.

I tried to gather everything I could think of, though I’m sure I’ve forgotten something along the way. I’ll happily update the list later. If people are interested, I’d love to finish similar posts for the rest of the Nordics as well as revisit some of the older ones!

So, without further ado, brace yourself and read the whole list below!

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

Introduction

Norway’s human name is Sigurd Nordvik, and Mr. Norway (Herr Norge) is the title by which he is formally addressed. However, he doesn’t really care about official titles and prefers people to call him Norway or Norge. Sometimes his closest friends may use the human nickname "Sigge." In the past, he was called Sigurðr — or Siward in English. Sjur Ødegård has often been his go-to alias.

His chosen birthday is the 17th of May (Norway’s Constitution Day), but he has never been the type to celebrate himself. He prefers to keep the day as a celebration for his country and its people. He likes rotating the type of bunad he wears every year, and he heads to the streets to celebrate together with his people.

He speaks Norwegian and English, and due to his close relationship with his neighbors, he can speak Swedish and Danish too — though hesitantly, only when necessary. In the past, he spoke Old Norse, Latin, German, and French. However, he has since forgotten most of these languages and is no longer able to communicate through them efficiently.

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

Appearance

Sigurd has light grey eyes, reminiscent of mountain bedrock or morning fog. His head is long and narrow. He has a slightly bumpy, downturned nose, hollow cheeks, and a relaxed, expressionless face. His lips are thin, his eyes narrow, and his wavy, light blonde hair falls just to his neck, a little unkempt. A modest amount of facial and body hair adds to his understated ruggedness. His skin is pale but reactive, quick to flush in the cold wind, burn in the sun, or betray his mysterious image during heightened emotions. He's naturally quite thin and in fit shape due to his hobbies. He's tall, around 185 cm.

Sigurd doesn't outshine with his sense of fashion, dressing for convenience rather than looks. While he owns plenty of well-fitted suits and tailored longer coats for the occasions that call for them, he feels most like himself in chunky wool sweaters and hiking trousers, fit for the weather for the majority of the year. He seems to avoid bright colors, except red, but he loves detailed colorwork knits. He's frugal when it comes to many things and thus still knits his own sweaters. He claims he doesn't want to waste money on items he could easily make himself, and he certainly has similar sweaters in many variations in his closet. But, in contradictory fashion, he'll wear insanely expensive outdoor gear, technical boots, and windproof jackets without seeing any problem in subtly flexing through them.

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

Personality

Sigurd is a reliable, composed, and trustworthy person in any situation — the kind of friend you want to keep in your life. His honest yet genuine demeanor tends to leave a lasting impression, and he’s generally viewed in a very positive light. Though Sigurd is quiet and mysterious, his presence tends to spark curiosity rather than intimidation. Everyone wants to claim him as their best friend.

Naturally reserved, he can sometimes come across as distant or emotionally cold. However, he simply prefers to keep to himself, avoid bothering others, and not stand out too much. Sigurd makes a conscious effort to be respectful, often avoiding situations that could feel awkward for either party, so he tends to keep his social interactions formal and brief. Social settings overwhelm him easily, and if given the chance, he’ll quietly slip away before anyone even notices or makes a big deal out of it.

Emotionally, Sigurd is guarded. He struggles to express his feelings out loud, fearing they’ll be used against him or cause worry for others. He's used to being the sensible one, calming others down or offering a voice of reason. Sigurd being in a position where he’s the one needing help feels foreign to him. But once he’s drunk, he’ll open up more than usual, only to be hit with crushing embarrassment the next day for letting his guard down. He’s painfully shy around strangers and tends to overthink social interactions, worrying he’ll reveal too much. But to those who earn his trust, he reveals a gentler, more thoughtful side. He’s among the first to notice when someone is unwell, silently checking in—even if his concern comes out as awkward teasing. He cares deeply about his family and friends.

Still, beneath the stoic surface lies a playful spirit. Sigurd is a subtle trickster — fond of poking or teasing those he's close to, and dropping dry, sarcastic remarks with perfect timing. He pretends not to care, but he thrives on attention, especially after years of feeling like the forgotten player in their group. He secretly loves being talked about, praised, and even admired, though he quickly shuts down compliments. Still, he tends to view himself through his flaws rather than his strengths. Sigurd believes there are only a few things he’s truly talented at. When he falls short of his impossibly high standards, it feels like a crushing failure of his entire being. Despite his insecurities, Sigurd takes pride in his achievements. He’ll brag (modestly, but often) when things go well, especially if he wins something. He does his job well, always on time, and with quiet perfectionism that is often underappreciated.

Sigurd lives at his own pace, content without chasing flashy or grand goals. He’s outdoorsy, self-reliant, and focused on himself. You could say he's health-conscious due to many health-related issues in the past. But sometimes, he becomes overly fixated on it, especially during times of stress, to the point of overworking or limiting himself harshly. His relationship with money is also complicated. He’s used to surviving on very little, so even spending on small comforts can feel indulgent. He sometimes gets uncomfortable when people comment on his country’s wealth, fearing they’ll judge him personally because of it. As a result, he often steers the conversation away from the topic. Sigurd is snarky and elusive, the kind of person who could lie with a straight face if he wanted to. He's particularly skilled at keeping things about himself tightly under wraps, making him incredibly hard to read. He often projects calm and composure even when he’s unraveling inside. If anyone were built to be a manipulator, it would be Sigurd. But thankfully for those around him, he’s not malicious.

Sigurd’s emotional world is buried deep, shaped by experiences he rarely speaks of — tucked behind layers of dry humor and thoughtful silence. Perhaps because of this, he often drifts from the present, dissociating, his mind slipping into daydreams. Sometimes, he imagines fantastical scenes, far removed from the noise of everyday life. When faced with complicated emotions, Sigurd retreats into his head, withdrawing from others. Without a healthy outlet, his bottled-up feelings tend to leak out sideways — through excessive sarcasm, bullying, or self-sabotage. Left to his own devices for too long, Sigurd can grow apathetic and cynical, sinking into depression. That’s why he needs people who won’t give up on him, people who keep reaching out, even when his instinct is to push them away.

Sigurd’s emotional wounds surface in his relationships. He has trust issues, and his first instinct is to build walls when he fears getting hurt. Letting people in doesn’t come naturally to him. His past unions weren’t exactly unhappy, but they lacked mutual respect, leaving him feeling unimportant. His opinions and feelings were rarely considered in decision-making. Those experiences left a mark, making him doubt the idea of real love for someone like him. In his eyes, marriage between Nations has always been more political than personal.

Mysterious, humble, and sincere could all be words to describe Sigurd. He brings a calming presence but with a layer of sharp wit. His kindness is subtle but ever-present, tucked beneath layers of sarcasm, shy smiles, and a masked desire to be seen.

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

Lifestyle

Sigurd resides in Oslo due to the capital's role as the center of politics and entertainment, but he has previously lived in Bergen and Nidaros (Trondheim). When he has time off, he retreats to his mountain cabin to recharge. However, he sometimes has to deal with unexpected guests when his family also wants to enjoy a picturesque cabin weekend. It’s partly Sigurd’s own fault for wanting to be nice and offering the cabin for others to use whenever they want.

Sigurd's house is a bit chilly and serene, to the point where you can hear the old clock ticking through the halls or the walls cracking on the coldest winter days. The muted colors, a rocking chair, and large wooden cupboards all add to the tranquil atmosphere. He has a lot of old furniture he’s either kept or discovered in vintage shops. Both his house and cabin are filled with books and worn-down furniture he hasn’t dared to get rid of. He rarely buys new things as long as the old ones still work. When the silence stretches too long, he finds himself showing up unannounced at Björn’s or Magnus’ place (and raiding their pantries, calling it harrytur). The trio jokes that Sigurd is like a household cat — aloof and low-maintenance, but always returning when he wants warmth or food.

Still, Sigurd’s adventurous side doesn’t let him stay a hermit at home for too long. He’s well-traveled and deeply curious about other cultures. If he disappears for a while, he’s likely off-grid, hiking in jungles or trekking through remote landscapes. There’s hardly a place left on Earth he hasn’t visited — not even Antarctica. He’s terrible at keeping in touch or letting people know when he’s leaving, but they trust he’ll return home safely with new stories and the same worn backpack.

Sigurd has a strong, almost spiritual connection to nature. It means everything to him, and he’ll go stir-crazy if forced to stay indoors — even when he’s sick or injured. He genuinely believes in folkloric creatures like trolls, fairies, and elves, and he’s careful not to disturb rocks or trees out of respect for them. He’s passionate about environmental preservation and fascinated by Norse mythology and sagas. While he doesn’t publicly identify as a practicing pagan, he occasionally dabbles in folk magic. These interests, along with his deeply introverted habits and daydreaming nature, make him feel like someone stuck in another time. His brothers don't waste the opportunity to call him plain odd because of it, though.

Sigurd lives an active lifestyle. He skis, runs marathons, sails, and fishes — again subtly flexing with his high-quality fishing and hiking gear and regularly making trips to the northern wilderness. Back home, he goes for morning runs before sunrise, wearing reflective gear and a headlamp, preferring the peace of empty trails. In winter, he swaps running shoes for skis. Sigurd is sometimes seen as a kind of patron of sports, being the face of campaigns encouraging people of all ages to stay active. He loves attending sporting events and is always touched when asked to present awards and give speeches. He’s especially proud of working with youth sports organizations and anti-bullying campaigns.

Despite appearing like the poster boy for healthy living, Sigurd’s diet is another story. He survives on a strange mix of comfort foods — sugar-free cola, tacos, waffles, and frozen pizza, to name a few. He’s a decent cook but rarely strays from the few meals he enjoys. He’s not big on sweets, but he won’t turn down a piece of kransekake or anything almond-flavored. However, during hikes, he must carry a chocolate bar with him, which he'll open at the top of the mountain, resting for a moment and taking in the stunning view.

Sigurd also has a rich musical side — he plays the violin. In his youth, he would entertain others with his fiddle, providing atmosphere for celebrations. But most importantly, the instrument was a tool through which he could hone his skills and earn recognition. These days, he’s fascinated by electric violins. Sigurd enjoys emotional rock ballads and epic instrumental music. But once he’s drunk, he’ll sing along to Norwegian party songs with all his heart. He can become quite the loud party animal when intoxicated — but firmly denies it if teased.

Sigurd’s speaking voice is calm and airy, and he has a beautiful, soft singing voice. He has even been asked to narrate audiobooks of Norwegian literature classics. In quieter moments, he enjoys knitting and watching odd TV shows while curled up in his chilly living room. He developed an interest in roleplay and fantasy games in the 1970s and would gladly do it more often with the right group of friends. He’s also a cat person and adores kittens. He has two Norwegian Forest cats named Olaf and Mons.

As the youngest of the three brothers, Sigurd sometimes struggles with being compared to Magnus or Björn, becoming visibly upset and defensive about it. During his childhood, he had to fight for attention just to be seen and valued, but he rarely received the recognition that his brothers often did. Maybe that’s why he’s so fiercely competitive. Sigurd is always ready to join a friendly sports match — so long as he thinks he has a shot at winning. Even the most peaceful beach day tends to turn into a spontaneous contest, with Sigurd pestering someone to time his swim to settle once and for all whether he’s faster than Magnus or Björn. The same applies to chess, which Sigurd is insanely good at, or other strategic board games. Game nights in their family can thus turn rather chaotic very fast.

Sigurd isn’t particularly tidy either. After long fishing or hiking trips, he’ll barge into Björn’s place and flop onto the couch without a second thought, opening a bag of chips, still covered in travel grime. Naturally, Björn whines at him about it. But in true Sigurd fashion, he just shrugs and grins, teasing his way out of the scolding.

Sigurd’s view of his own immortality has shifted over the years, but his role as a representative of Norway has always given him a sense of purpose and motivation. He’s had bad experiences with other immortals, so he tends to seek meaning and comfort in his work — representing something he truly values. He wants to focus on what matters to him, finally pursuing his own goals instead of being held back by others. His job has strengthened his sense of self and purpose. While his responsibilities can feel limiting at times, he can recognize his immortality's nuances and appreciate the good sides of it.

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

Relationships

Sigurd is a reserved guy who doesn't have many deep friendships outside of his family. Most of the time, he hangs out with Björn — which is maybe a bit embarrassing for him. Sigurd doesn't like parties or big social gatherings, as he feels most people end up invading his personal space, thus making him uncomfortable. Also, his social battery runs out extremely fast. While he prefers to keep to himself, he has a strange kind of charm that draws people to him.

With such a massive coastline, Sigurd sees the Atlantic as his home and has good relations with fellow Atlantic nations. He has traveled far and wide, and generally, the Commonwealth countries have been friendly toward him, often allying with him on various matters. He sometimes goes on skiing trips with Switzerland, Liechtenstein, or Austria, as they bond over mountains and ski-related sports. They get along surprisingly well, as long as Sigurd’s silence doesn’t bother them. New Zealand is another outdoor enthusiast Sigurd gets along with — an unlikely friend from the other side of the globe.

Sigurd is usually the first to point out that Björn and Magnus have gotten old and aren't nearly as fun as they used to be. Perhaps he just doesn’t like being reminded of the passage of time or of how comfortably others have settled into ordinary lives. He feels like he’s only just now gotten his own life on track! The idea of having children or getting married doesn’t appeal to him at all. These days, he cherishes his freedom and self-reliance, which he desperately aspired for so long.

Sweden / Björn The core aspect of Sigurd's and Björn's dynamic is the love-hate relationship. They love to annoy the hell out of their söta bror, their sweet brother. They’ll nag each other nonstop and drive one another crazy all day, yet still spend the night talking, braiding each other's hair, and falling asleep in the same bed. At the same time, they constantly mock each other for being copycats, always blaming the other for mimicking their style or stealing their stuff. After all, what’s worse than being constantly compared to your sibling? Björn and Sigurd grew relatively close and spent a lot of time together growing up. They were just as competitive then as they are now; it’s definitely a trait that developed in their childhood. Both had to make do with limited resources, so competition was sometimes necessary, maybe even encouraged. Nowadays, they’ll compare anything: who has the better car, the greener yard, more birthday wishes on social media. They never seem to tire of the comparisons, though everyone else around them certainly does. But truthfully, they’d do anything for one another if it came down to it; their nagging is just a weird combination of their love languages. While they complain about the other’s incompetence and lack of brains, they still show up when needed, no questions asked. They just can’t bring themselves to admit they care; it’s too corny, not their style at all. They’ve been in various unions throughout history, though rarely by choice. Those unions have definitely left a mark, and there have been times when their relationship was seriously strained. While Sigurd usually ends up being the voice of reason around Magnus and keeps an eye on him, with Björn, he lets himself be unapologetically bothersome. Björn sometimes calls Sigurd slow and out of touch, like he’s stuck a few centuries behind. Björn can be nitpicky and meticulous, which drives Sigurd crazy. To Sigurd, Björn is a perfectionist who’s always trying to keep up appearances, even during the worst of times. Even now, Björn has a tendency to meddle in other people’s business; Björn might scold Sigurd for how he treats his little brother Eiríkur, but Sigurd will snap back and tell him it’s none of his business. On the flip side, Sigurd’s free-spirited nature and lack of structure drive Björn mad. Sigurd is strong-willed and hard to cooperate with once his mind is set on something. He’s opinionated but keeps things bottled up, which leads to spiteful and inconsiderate behavior when things don’t go his way. His antisocial tendencies and bluntness can be frustrating and even embarrassing for Björn, especially since Björn himself is so conflict-avoidant and tries to keep everyone happy. Despite those unions, however strained, they have created a strange dependency between them. Even when they’re at odds, they try to understand what the other is going through, comforting each other at their worst. Their interests and hobbies are pretty similar, so it’s no surprise they spend so much of their free time together. Neither of them does well in big crowds, and they both deeply appreciate the calm, casual atmosphere they share when it’s just the two of them. They can sit in silence doing nothing, and that’s more than enough. Though Sigurd still occasionally tries to inject a little adventure into his brother’s routine. Nature is their shared escape, and they go hiking, skiing, or kayaking when they can. ─•~❉᯽❉~•─

Denmark / Magnus Magnus and Sigurd still share a deep emotional bond that's unique to them. They’re able to speak rather openly about their worries and offer each other genuine advice. Magnus relies on Sigurd and holds him in high regard, being the best friend Magnus would trust with his life. Sigurd, on the other hand, doesn’t quite share the same enthusiastic view. He keeps his distance when he can and doesn't always give in to Magnus’s wild proposals. Still, Magnus sees Sigurd as a constant in his life, someone who always has his back, no matter what. Magnus can get lost in his own world at times, forgetting things or getting distracted, so Sigurd ends up following behind to clean up the mess — just as he always has. It annoys Sigurd, but he knows Magnus doesn’t do it out of selfishness, and he’s learned to live with it. Together, Magnus and Sigurd are something of a comedic duo. Magnus's wild schemes test Sigurd's patience every single time and put them on some kind of adventure. Sigurd has learned to say "Magnus, no" almost instinctively to everything, but if nothing else, he keeps an eye to ensure Magnus doesn't get into too much trouble. Whenever Sigurd helps him out of a mess, Magnus showers him with gratitude—until he inevitably drags Sigurd back into his mess again. That’s probably why Magnus instinctively turns to Sigurd with every problem, even when it would make more sense to ask Björn. Only Sigurd seems to know how to talk him down and help him understand even the messiest of situations. Magnus tends to worry on Sigurd’s behalf — a habit Sigurd doesn’t appreciate due to past experiences with Magnus’s more controlling tendencies. But Magnus’s intentions are good; he simply wants to help and offer support. Accepting that help, though, is a real challenge for Sigurd. Magnus knows Sigurd has a tendency to bottle things up and fall into depressive episodes, and it’s something he’s quietly concerned about. He tries to keep Sigurd’s spirits up and remind him of the brighter side of life. They often visit each other’s places, though for entirely different reasons, and as a result, they end up spending a lot of time together. Sigurd often thinks Magnus’s way of doing things is ridiculous — but he gets a good laugh when he puts Magnus on skis or drags him up a mountain, watching him struggle through the harsh winter terrain. Magnus, for his part, is just happy to be entertaining. Sigurd cares about Magnus, too, in his own quiet way. He’s just learned to set boundaries so Magnus doesn’t walk all over him. He knows how much he means to Magnus, so he can’t bring himself to be too cold or dismissive. He’ll help when asked but won’t hesitate to scold Magnus to keep him in check. Magnus knows he wasn’t always the best to Sigurd in the past, so he tends to be pretty laid-back when Sigurd teases or mocks him. As much as Sigurd has had to put up with Magnus, he doesn’t hold a grudge—not even when he easily could. They’ve worked through their past issues more than once and, for the most part, moved on. And no matter how much Sigurd complains about Magnus’s constant presence in his life, he always answers the phone when Magnus calls—and always shows up when asked. ─•~❉᯽❉~•─

Finland / Timo Sigurd and Timo get along remarkably well, sharing a number of common interests, like winter sports and music, that give them easy ground to bond over. Sigurd is unusually generous with Timo, often lending him gear or bringing him over-the-top gifts, which Magnus and Björn find unfair, as they’re not given such privileges. Sigurd insists that Timo is simply more trustworthy, and he trusts Timo to handle his stuff with care. Sigurd and Timo tend to drift to the sidelines during gatherings, content to sit with a cup of coffee and talk quietly. They have been through similar experiences they can both relate to, and thus far, they haven’t provoked one another too badly, making their friendship rather drama-free. Timo has always admired Sigurd, ever since they were young. There was something distant and mysterious about him that made Timo want to get closer, mimicking Sigurd in little ways, trying to be more like him. That admiration hasn’t really faded; Timo still sees Sigurd as someone effortlessly cool, someone worth looking up to. He follows his lead with almost blind loyalty, always ready to join him on hikes or fishing trips with eager enthusiasm. Sigurd, in turn, finds Timo’s stories amusing and his quiet resilience endearing. They’re not each other’s first pick when it comes to social plans, but when they do spend time together, they genuinely enjoy it. Sigurd appreciates how easy it is to be around Timo, how he laughs at his dry jabs about Björn or follows along with his plans without needing to be convinced. Sometimes, though, Timo’s passivity and eagerness to please clash with Sigurd’s snarkiness and competitive streak. He feels a bit guilty if he's being too sarcastic with him. Timo’s too kind to push back, and more often than not, the sass may go completely over his head. Because of that, Sigurd holds back more than he does with others. ─•~❉᯽❉~•─

Iceland / Eiríkur Sigurd has never been good at parenting or taking responsibility for others, so he has a lot of regrets concerning Eiríkur. He has always known Eiríkur is his brother but has never been able to connect with him. That doesn't mean he doesn't care about the kid, but Sigurd just never found a way to claim that big brother status. They're very similar in nature, but that also means they're both bad at communicating and prefer to keep everything in. Nowadays, Eiríkur sometimes insists on his independence with the same stubborn pride Sigurd once had, insisting he doesn’t need anyone fussing over him. Sigurd respects that space, but his distance can unintentionally reinforce Eiríkur’s fears regarding Sigurd. The irony isn’t lost as each is trying, in their own clumsy way, to protect the other from disappointment. Sigurd's attempt to reclaim their lost bond is sometimes irritating to Eiríkur, even though he knows it shouldn't be. He just has lots of disappointing memories when it comes to his brother, which is the reason for his underlying insecurities between them, like the lingering fear that Sigurd might disappear again, as he has before. On the other hand, Sigurd has always given Eiríkur the freedom Magnus never knew how to give. He took Eiríkur on long trips and taught him necessary life skills that gave him the critical tools to survive on his own. Eiríkur adored Sigurd growing up, always choosing him over anyone else. He used to light up at the mere mention of Sigurd’s name and grew jealous if someone else claimed his brother’s attention. When Eiríkur was nervous or unsure as a child, Sigurd would tell him fantastical stories and restore hope in him, uniting them through their shared love for stories and imagination. When Sigurd was bedridden by the plague, little Eiríkur stood by him. He would sit by his bed, read books, and talk to him, as they'd tell each other stories. Eiríkur could bring Sigurd messages and meals while occasionally spying on Magnus and Björn, reporting back what they were planning. But other days, Sigurd was too ashamed or tired to even let Eiríkur into his room, giving the poor kid mixed signals on what he was supposed to do. Many times, Sigurd's own need for autonomy took precedence over his responsibilities to Eiríkur — desperate attempts to hold on to the few meaningful tasks that gave him a sense of purpose. Sometimes, the choices weren’t even Sigurd’s to make, as orders from above pulled him away. There were days when Eiríkur expected Sigurd to come and visit him, waiting patiently at the harbor, watching every ship that came in, expecting his brother to step off the deck from one of them. But he didn’t. Eventually, Eiríkur learned not to get his hopes up, but the disappointment carved itself into him, leaving a quiet scar that never fully faded. Sigurd feels immense regret for not being there when Eiríkur was small, left alone on a harsh island during his most formative years. But Sigurd was only a teenager himself then. Even if he had been there, he doubts he would’ve been the role model Eiríkur needed. Still, the guilt lingers, and he tries to make up for it in the present. They go camping and fishing when time allows, returning to the wild places where they feel most at ease. Around the campfire, they talk about the past. Eiríkur is endlessly curious about their roots and history, and Sigurd does his best to help, though time has eroded many of his memories. Sigurd wants to make sure his brother has what he needs, that he’s equipped to live better, freer, and more fulfilled than Sigurd ever was. But expressing love has never come easily to him, so instead of words, he keeps buying things for Eiríkur, always asking if he has everything he needs, which Eiríkur insists he does. Both Sigurd and Eiríkur have regrets and disappointments regarding their shared past, but they will always have that unique family bond no one can take away from them. ─•~❉᯽❉~•─

England / Arthur Both Sigurd and Arthur are old friends who go way back, bound by years of cooperation. Both are ambitious by nature and aware of what they want, yet not always the best at being emotionally present or vulnerable. In many ways, their similarities make their friendship feel effortless. Sigurd has always seen Arthur as a respectable peer, someone who understands and sees Sigurd’s effort. Over the years, Arthur has supported Sigurd during some of the most difficult periods of his life, offering help when people wouldn’t expect him to. While Arthur has managed to get on many people's wrong sides and people's opinion isn't always favorable of him, Sigurd has gotten rare glimpses of a softer Arthur that very few get to see. They often collaborate closely, especially in matters of work, and there's a warmth to their friendship that shows most in small gestures. Sigurd, for instance, never misses the chance to go all out with Christmas gifts. And while Arthur is often busy and hard to pin down, he never turns down the chance to share a drink with his quiet old friend. However, sometimes Sigurd is faced with an awkward position due to Arthur’s and Eiríkur’s disinterest in one another, as he doesn’t want to seem like he’s siding with one over the other. Arthur and Eiríkur just don't really get along, but for the sake of Sigurd, they try to at least pretend. ─•~❉᯽❉~•─

Ireland / Saoirse Saoirse's and Sigurd's histories are deeply intertwined, shaped by tensions and collaborations between their former peers. Saoirse, sharp-tongued and quick-witted, didn’t exactly warm up to the Norseman right away. But even back then, she had a sense of humor that cut through his cold exterior. She also had a fearless spark that challenged him in ways few others could. When he pushed her, she pushed back. When he played rough, she returned the energy with twice the force. Saoirse, too, has always loved storytelling and music, talents that Sigurd has long admired from a distance. Her creativity and charisma drew him in, even if he didn’t always know how to say it. During their time in America, the two reconnected as adults, finding more common ground than before. The noisy rivalry of childhood gave way to a friendship marked by loyalty and a shared determination to survive in a new harsh situation. Nowadays, Saoirse teases Sigurd every now and then, especially when he’s in the presence of Arthur or Alasdair. This is to remind them he’s an old friend of hers too! Unfortunately, Saoirse has a knack for sniffing out gossip, so Sigurd has to keep his guard up around her to make sure his secrets stay buried, for now. ─•~❉᯽❉~•─

Scotland / Alasdair Alasdair and Sigurd have known each other for as long as either of them can remember. From the very beginning, their relationship was shaped by the tensions from deep-rooted rivalries. First impressions were tainted by prejudice but also riddled by a persistent curiosity. As children, they played together despite the tension — sometimes too rough, ending in scratches and one of them running off in tears. And yet, no matter how many times they separated, that pull toward one another never quite faded.  In those early days, Sigurd was bolder, at times impossible to handle. A menace in the eyes of many, especially during the chaos of the Middle Ages. Alasdair, by contrast, was already brimming with pride and an unshakable sense of confidence, always standing tall even when others tried to cut him down. His fierce spirit and charisma fascinated Sigurd, while Alasdair was equally intrigued by Sigurd’s mysteriousness. But Sigurd's path got complicated. Tied down by the demands of centralized rule and weakened by the plague, he found himself trapped within constraining unions and a loss of influence that left him weak and apathetic. During the Kalmar Union, his failing health and desperation to retain a sliver of autonomy left him too afraid to meet many of his peers, feeling like a shadow of his former self. And yet, when Alasdair reappeared in his life, something shifted. The Scot’s energy offered Sigurd comfort and relief, giving him a brief escapism from his state. In another timeline, perhaps they would have worked together more, built something lasting through alliances, but history had other plans. Even when political duties kept them apart, they remained close via handwritten letters, with something unspoken lingering between them. During occasional meetings, whether by trade or diplomatic visits, their connection only deepened. A quiet, persistent yearning began to take root, romantic in nature but carefully concealed beneath layers of duty, uncertainty, and timing that never quite lined up. It wasn’t until the 19th century that they found themselves drawn together again — both of them older, hardened by experience. Sigurd, now part of yet another union, was fighting more fiercely than ever to carve out his independence, while Alasdair was navigating his own path through the tides of industrialization and being more tightly cooperative (or controlled) through his siblings. The two of them crossed paths more frequently, and this time, their bond became something unapologetically intimate, though still kept from public view. Their relationship became a quiet rebellion, a way to find solace while being drowned by decisions made above their heads. Neither of them asked for the roles they inherited, but in each other, they found a rare compassion and freedom. Even now, they continue to see one another — no longer as secretive as they once were, but still careful. Their relationship is unconventional, perhaps even unserious to some, but it works. Neither is in a rush to settle down. Sometimes, they both wish history had been kinder to them. But then again, they've never let fate stop them from trying. After all, it’s a rare privilege to love someone since childhood and still have eternity to figure it all out.

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

[bao3bei4]

ON THE TSHIRT METHOD TO WRITING ESSAYS IN YOUR OWN TIME: 

i have had a couple people mention to me that they would like to write essays too, but they are a little out of practice. so i thought i should gather some scattered thoughts into one place. this is not a systematic guide. i am young and inexperienced and still working out things for myself, but this is my basic process and some things that have helped me, summarized. 

my biggest single piece of advice is to write with your proverbial pussy. you are not writing for a grade so don't act like it. forget rigor, forget academic style, etc. read what you're interested in, and write following up on the threads that you're interested in. don’t sweat the details. just do you.

if you still need more advice..... here’s a long winded post. 

step zero: if you have no clue what you want to say yet 

read. and read a lot.

but be realistic. be kind to yourself. your attention is a precious resource, and it is getting eaten up by shit out of your control all the time. if you’ve had a busy day, you may still have the brain power left to read. i almost never do. lol. so make sure to carve out time on a day off, if possible. otherwise you might end up completely fried, reading the same sentence over and over, and ending up scrolling on your phone LMAO. <-- painful lesson also to this end, if you haven’t picked up a denser book in a while, start with shorter articles, especially ones written more recently. if your attention wanders, try getting a physical book instead. the most important thing is just starting things you’ll actually read.  i’ve seen a lot of people (and been that person) who was like. “oh i’m going to start with THE canonical text in a subject i’m interested in” which makes sense right? but that book is inevitably long and dense and convoluted and boring. you can come back to it later. this shouldn’t feel like a chore! 

genuinely this is the most helpful thing you can do is just. read anything. it may be difficult at first (or always), but it is still the easiest way to engage with the foremost experts from around the world and the entirety of written history on any subject you are interested in. there’s not really a substitute to this. 

note: you may say that people can and do come up with brilliant ideas independently of their access to written works. this is true! but if you are one of them, you should skip this section/post, because you already know what you want to say.  okay that was a little too facetious. let me revise: when i say that, without reading, it will be hard to come up with more complex ideas than what you have now, that isn’t necessarily pejorative. maybe your current ideas and impulses are original and meaningful and complex. if they aren’t, however, you don’t have to resign yourself to it.  your experiences in real life are the most valuable thing you can bring to the table, but it can be very difficult to articulate and contextualize them without community—whether that be irl, or the simple textual company of other writers. you can let other people help you and teach you.  basically, this is a long winded way of saying something extremely simple: reading is not the only way to gain knowledge, or even the best. but it is an extremely consistent and relatively egalitarian way.** **scihub and libgen and sometimes the public library are your friends. (my local library’s book coverage is spotty) who cares about piracy. LMAO. 

you may surprise yourself by how nicely you fall into little spirals. you read one thing. and you are enamored with the way the author approaches their subject. so you end up reading everything else they’ve written, and then you start on the authors they list that inspire them in their interviews. maybe you just read one article that’s a little dry but it cites something else that seems far more interesting. read that next. and so on. 

if you are struggling to read that’s okay. you have options. start a book club (or just get a friend who also wants to read more). if that sounds like too much work, pick a friend to keep updated on all your new facts. you just want to get used to reading something, and telling someone your favorite parts again. skim books. skip the boring parts. drop them entirely and find a more interesting one. no one’s going to quiz you. this is for your own enjoyment. 

also important here: read books that make you want to write. sometimes this is because the methods and/or prose of the author are so exciting, you want to do something just like that. sometimes it’s because the content is so exciting, you want to say something about that too. sometimes they speak so powerfully to your own life, you want to tell people this is me!! i see this!! there are books i just enjoy reading, sure, and i do read them. but you know how, like, a good movie makes you want to tell stories too? good theory should do that too, in my opinion. 

step one: you have some ideas now. 

these ideas don’t have to be set in stone. but you should have an idea now of what you might talk about. personally, for me, i have two interconnected types of essay ideas. 

interventions. this is like [tumblr voice] Why Is Nobody Talking About This. i see some sort of hole. maybe i know how to fill it, maybe i don’t. 

free associations. basically i read one thing, or some analysis of one thing. and then it reminded me of another thing. and i’m like. i want to tease apart their connections, their similarities, and their differences. 

there are more types of ideas, i’m sure. but these are the ones i consistently have. with me, the second kind is more common. very rarely do i find that my thoughts are that original. rather, i’ve found that one of my strengths as a writer is being able to make connections that other people haven’t made, or haven’t made in depth before. IN MY OPINION. 

so i find it quite flexible. maybe i watch a movie, and it reminds me of my own life, because i think two women in the movie could be sad queer freaks. and i’m a sad queer freak. or it could be that i think scum villain could be analyzed through the framework of freudian psychoanalysis. you get the idea. 

at this stage of the process, i don’t have a thesis, necessarily. but i have a couple phrases i’m drawn to. i have a bullet point or two. i have vibes. 

to use an example from this blog, one of my friends hui once mentioned that that one fan image was going around again. we were going ughhh it’s victorian not chinese! together and they said “you should write a meta on it.” i wasn’t sure quite yet what i had to say. but i knew a couple things. 

this is, incidentally, because i had done some research into chinoiserie before, because i had cited the zuroski book for a paper i had to write for an english class some years before on pride and prejudice and its use of descriptions of material culture, an essay that in turn was inspired by my random yet deeply felt conviction that jane austen hated me personally and wanted to kill me.  this is why i encourage reading a lot. i think. 

to work on this stage, make lists. lots of them. i have a .txt file where i keep every essay idea i have. a lot of them are a sentence. or they're lists of books or theorists i think i could make something out of. or they're theses that feel true, but i’m not sure why yet. 

it took me a while to get to this point. just like with writing fic, there was a period when i first started where i was like. i only have one idea. i’m going to write it, and then i’m never going to write again. and then i had just one more idea. after a while. eventually you will find you have so many ideas and the world is full of possibilities. it’s a muscle you have to flex. like reading. and telling people about what you’re reading. 

actually, i feel like there was a step 0.5 here that i completely skipped. 

step zero point five that i skipped: how to generate ideas

my very truly complete “first time writing something semi-academic that was original” (with a loose definition of the word original) was literally just me reading literary criticism of one book, and saying “i think this author’s thoughts can be applied to this other book” and found some textual evidence that supported that the process could be replicated. 

this is like, writing with training wheels on. eventually i got better at it (see aforementioned chinoiserie essay. i hope you agree.). but that was a good place to start for me. it made the proverbial blank page less intimidating, knowing i had a scaffolding. 

i suggest trying this. see how it goes for you. read around until you find some piece of criticism, or just some theory about how something works, that you like. and using your newfound hammer, go look for some nails. 

note: i know this expression is meant to like. be a negative thing. but you do have to start somewhere. it’s okay if it sucks. it’s just for your practice and your enjoyment. 

be cautious of stances. weak writing (in my OPINIONNNN) tries to unilaterally defend or condemn a behavior. what you need to do is treat your writing as a bit. and then you need to run with it. you need to take it farther than what is reasonable. if this bit is truly actually deeply true, then what does it mean about yourself? it’s like using a new set of pronouns as a joke or something. you know what i mean? (that was an example of what i’m trying to communicate here)

what else is key to look out for... look for oppositional pairs or tensions. look for perverse incentives and vicious circles. look for embarrassing ideas. that is, what would be extremely embarrassing if it was true? (or to admit that it was true) you may go—tshirt, here you’re just describing things that are sexy. yes, exactly, that’s the point. you want things that thrill. 

just keep reading and making notes until everything echoes with something else. now you’re ready for step two. 

step two: refine your ideas further. 

let me do this by demonstration. once more extending my earlier example of my chinoiserie essay, i knew that i really wanted to take zuroski’s points and basically... steal them. this is called “citation,” i guess. but i thought the following insights were useful to me: 

british women were invested in chinese material objects 

they incorporated them into their own subjectivity

past a certain point, they no longer “consumed” these signifiers, but these signifers became theirs 

critique of one was able to stand in for critique of the other

and from being on fandom twitter, i already had the following insights: 

people deliberately blurred the lines between china and england when it came to fans and tea

people also liked talking about victorian modesty when it came to china 

so it seemed like victorian england and china had a privileged relationship, in a lot of people’s minds in fandom. 

so it didn’t really seem a stretch to say... how can we look at one history, and apply it to our present? 

it was a bit of the combo of the two: i saw something i didn’t see people were talking about, and it reminded me of something else i’d read before. 

something that helps me a lot is tweeting about my essay ideas. if you have me on my private account, you already know this. it forces me to explain myself to someone who doesn’t know what i’m talking about in a very succinct way. oftentimes, i tweet something out while i’m brainstorming, and then i steal the phrasing back into my essay. see? tweets can be writing too. 

this is microdosing on step zero’s “read something and practice telling a friend about it.” now you’re writing something and telling a friend about it. 

step three: okay now you can like. open a google doc 

make an outline. i know i know i know. i’m sorry. you can start just barfing thoughts if you want, but eventually everything that was on the top of your head will be out. and now you can start thinking about structure. the reason the outline is important is because it makes clear the logical progression from one idea to the next. 

i know i usually bounce around in my writing (a tendency which has been magnified here because this is so casual LMAO), but i always want to make sure that my points are substantiated. if we want to talk about how a causes b, we should prove a, we should prove the causal link, and only then can we infer b, for instance. it doesn’t really matter what order that happens in (or even that we set about it that way), but the more complicated your idea is, the longer checklist you need. it’s just a checklist. that’s all. 

as you start writing, you’ll probably need to read some more. you’re going to want to say something you think is true, but you’re going to realize that you haven’t proved it (or you can’t). go look to see if someone else has proved it. 

maybe you’re right. add that evidence in. maybe you’re wrong. now your essay has a new direction. there is a living thing beneath you. actually, on that idea— 

i tend to structure my outlines (if i’m not sure yet what my point is) by pasting a bunch of quotes in a document, and reorganizing them until they make sense, they seem to flow. and then i start explaining why, until i realized i have begun to walk off in a new direction. always embrace that new direction. eventually you will find that you have not been taking twists and turns, but actually you were dizzily walking along a straight path. (unless you have been unfocused and you are trying to say too many things at once. ask a friend to read your essay if you’re not sure which is the case.) 

quotes are the smallest unit of your analysis. work with evidence. or, at least, i do. it makes writing an essay like solving a mystery. the idea of just spontaneously generating something new fills me with terror. rather, i want to autopsy something, trace its steps, and then discover how it came to be dead. this may not be true for you. but it’s true for meeeee and this is my post. 

tl;dr

0. read something and tell someone about it/post it out

0.5. come up with a bit and run with it

1. think "why is no one talking about this" or start free associating

2. come up with weird connections and tell someone about it/post it out

3. collect all of your posts and ideas into a gdoc and organize them.

anyway i like reading posts like this because i’m incredibly nosy. so i tried to write out the sort of thing i like to read from other people. i don’t suggest you actually try to replicate it (if anyone would even want to.) practically basically i just encourage you to try any single part of this that you think was interesting or relatable or helpful. personally, i suggest reading a book and posting your favorite lines from it. if you do this a couple times, i think you will find the seeds of an essay waiting for you in your own posts. 

[bucksdaffy]

Oliver Stark's Social Media Activity

I’m not sure why I’m writing this. I’m not even certain if I’m supposed to think about it in such detail. My goal is not to psychoanalyze Oliver (though I’m aware that this is what I am going to be doing in some way). I don’t know him personally, and I don’t know his thoughts. I’m missing a lot of crucial information that is necessary to explain the way things are, so ultimately, I’m going to make many assumptions.

That being said, I’m not here to excuse or condemn Oliver’s behavior. I’m not here to tell you how you’re supposed to feel regarding his social media activity. I’m here to offer a perspective—a perspective that is ultimately my personal view and makes sense to me, but can have no bearing on Oliver’s reality.

This is going to be a long post. I wanted to gather my thoughts before the premiere because I feel that quite a few of my assumptions will be proven either right or wrong as season 8 progresses. I want to return to this post and see how accurate I was about certain things, so this post is mostly for my future self. You don’t have to read it!

Preliminary context

Oliver Stark is an actor portraying a character named Evan “Buck” Buckley on the TV series 9-1-1. As of Season 7, Buck was confirmed to be bisexual after experiencing his first same-sex kiss with Tommy Kinard (played by Lou Ferrigno Jr.). After the episode aired, Oliver expressed excitement and pride in portraying a bisexual character on several occasions, both in interviews and on his official Instagram account.

(x. x. x. x.)

Oliver has also spoken positively about (Buck)Tommy and Lou in his interviews.

(x. x.)

Oliver also recently uploaded a video to his Instagram story, reiterating how proud he is to be part of bisexual representation on TV. (x.)

So, what's the problem?

Many supporters of Buck’s current storyline with Tommy feel that Oliver is not as enthusiastic about it as he previously claimed, due to his silence on the matter on his official Instagram account.

After episode 7x04 aired, Oliver made an effort to like a couple of BuckTommy fan arts on Instagram. He also vaguely mentioned in a comment section that his favorite scene with Bobby in Season 7 was the one where Bobby, among other things, approved of Tommy as Buck’s partner, and he only interacted once with official BuckTommy content. Beyond that, there hasn’t been much else. At the same time, he seemed more engaged in sharing stills of Buddie (the fan-favorite pairing of Buck and his heterosexual friend Eddie) and liking some Buddie-related posts. I want to stress, though, that this, too, wasn’t a frequent occurrence.

As filming for Season 8 continues, Oliver hasn’t posted, shared, or liked anything related to (Buck)Tommy or Lou, even though it is known that Buck and Tommy will continue their relationship into Season 8. Fans have found this especially upsetting, as Buddie shippers use it as ammunition to suggest that Oliver doesn’t enjoy this storyline and would rather it finish quickly, projecting their personal feelings onto an actor because it’s easier that way. After months of constant harassment from Buddie shippers towards anyone showing support for Buck and Tommy’s relationship, it is quite disheartening for fans to realize they are on their own and that the actor involved doesn’t care to call out the problematic behavior of such a vocal portion of the fandom.

Oliver's history with the fandom

In the past, Oliver was active on Twitter, interacting with fans, reading their theories, and replying to their tweets. However, that is no longer the case. Oliver deactivated his Twitter account on May 22, 2021, following this series of tweets:

Here is some further explanation for why that happened.

Okay, what are you getting at?

Well, I guess here’s my perspective on this.

I think Oliver has spoken beautifully about Buck’s storyline, which began in Season 7. Although he has primarily emphasized Buck’s bisexuality (which is great—Buck’s sexuality isn’t tied to one person), he has also spoken positively about (Buck)Tommy and Lou, as mentioned earlier. He has never spoken ill of them, either officially or casually. We can also see how smiley and comfortable he appears around Lou in the Access Hollywood interview they did together. Overall, there’s no indication that Oliver harbors any negative feelings toward Buck’s current love interest or the actor portraying him.

I do, however, share the fans’ frustrations regarding his silence on Instagram. It is certainly disheartening to see Buddie shippers “rewarded” for their absolutely vile behavior toward anyone enjoying Buck and Tommy’s relationship. It’s especially frustrating that their behavior is not being actively called out; they continue to be unabashedly cruel because, aside from fellow fans, no one is there to criticize them. No message is a message, and Buddie shippers interpret this as an endorsement of their behavior, allowing them to feel comfortable spreading homophobic rhetoric.

This was particularly evident when, just last night, Oliver spoke out against people shipping him with Ryan. It reinforces the notion that he is aware of the comments being made on his Instagram and that of the show, yet he chooses not to comment on certain topics. I believe fans of Buck and Tommy's relationship have every right to be upset about this. Being selective about what you choose to call out sends a message, whether intended or not.

That being said, I personally think it’s still too early to jump to conclusions. I believe there are several factors at play regarding why Oliver doesn’t speak up about Buck and Tommy on his Instagram. During Season 7, he wasn’t even sure if Lou would extend his contract for the next season. It’s possible he didn’t want to make any kind of statement on something he wasn’t sure would last—which, in my mind, is completely fair. Given his concern about being accused of leading fans on, I’m not surprised he would choose to remain silent.

Additionally, as 7x06 ended with Buck and Tommy still together, and 7x09 opened with them still in a relationship—much to the disappointment of Buddie shippers—Lou began receiving a significant amount of hate online. Not only was he threatened, but his family was targeted as well. Following the end of Season 7, he withdrew from social media, and as of the premiere date, he still hasn’t returned. The filming of Season 8, particularly the big opener disaster that is about to unfold, has also been kept very hush-hush, along with the main characters’ personal storylines. Only recently did we receive official confirmation that Tommy would be back.

To me, it’s a no-brainer why he didn’t address Buck and Tommy’s relationship until the new Season 8 interviews. Furthermore, I believe he’s being respectful of Lou’s decision to stay away from social media (at least during this hiatus), just as everyone else working on the show has respected it. We’ll see if anything changes as Season 8 continues to air.

I also wouldn’t disregard the possibility that he might be protective of Lou, especially given the hate that all of Buck’s past love interests’ actresses have received. He may want to avoid exposing Lou to that kind of negativity—at least on their official Instagrams—keeping things relatively hate-free (though I won’t comment on whether I think that’s effective, but you can probably guess my stance). I believe this is also a valid reason for not promoting Buck and Tommy’s relationship much on his social media.

There’s also the point that Oliver is not responsible for the fandom’s behavior. Yes, his silence on the matter may encourage cruelty from the Buddie side, but Oliver has repeatedly tried to talk sense into them during interviews and while he was still active on Twitter. Unfortunately, those efforts didn’t help. Just like Tim Minear calling them out for sending him death threats didn’t yield any results. Sometimes, speaking up isn’t enough.

But hey! What better way to convey his perspective than through how the storyline of Season 8 unfolds? The fact that Oliver does not object to acting alongside Lou and that Buck and Tommy’s relationship continues into Season 8 should serve as sufficient proof that he’s fine with it. Yes, actors don’t decide on storylines, but they do have a say in them, and we know that Tim Minear doesn’t force anyone to do something they don’t want to do. I’m also confident that Oliver will continue to positively discuss Buck and Tommy’s relationship in his interviews. What he does on his Instagram account doesn’t and shouldn’t matter; it has no bearing on the show.

If my assumptions are correct, I believe that as Season 8 progresses, we will see Oliver becoming a bit more open to interacting with Buck and Tommy content on Instagram. To be honest, I don’t see any reason not to, unless things eventually go sideways or he truly doesn’t care about the Buddies’ hate (in which case, yikes). However, if he cares but still doesn’t speak up in one way or another, I can’t lie—personally, I would feel a little disappointed. I value authenticity and the importance of speaking your mind while not allowing others to trample on your boundaries, and, it's probably my fault, but I currently hold Oliver to a high standard. It would be disappointing to me, to say the least, if someone didn’t adhere to these values. I do acknowledge that this is just my perspective, though; I don’t speak for the entirety of the fandom—I speak for myself.

That said, I wouldn’t blame him if he decided to turn off or limit the comments or even got a social media manager and stopped engaging with any content, whether it be Buddie or BuckTommy. Honestly, for his peace of mind, I actually wish he would. I’d prefer any approach over being selective in favor of a loud portion of the fandom that engages in harmful behaviors.

All in all, the prospect of Season 8 makes me hopeful that we will see a change. However, if we don’t, let’s remember what matters most: the show itself. Ultimately, that’s how we, BuckTommy fans, are being rewarded—by having canon. That's what truly counts.

[catonator]

News for Gamers

So the most notable recent gaming news is that there’s going to be a whole lot less gaming news going forward. Which to most of you is probably a massive win. See, IGN announced that they’ve bought roundabout half of the remaining industry that isn’t IGN, and with online news also dying a slow death due to the approaching new wave of journalism called “absolutely nothing”, I can’t imagine IGN and its newly acquired subsidiaries are long for this world.

Not too long ago, I was studying some magazines for my Alan Wake development history categorization project (please don’t ask), and reading the articles in these magazines led me to a startling realisation: Holy shit! This piece of gaming news media doesn’t make me want to kill myself out of second hand embarrassment!

Many of the magazines of yesteryear typically went with the approach of “spend weeks and sometimes months researching the article, and write as concise a section as you can with the contents”. Every magazine contains at least 2 big several-page spreads of some fledgeling investigative journalist talking to a bunch of basement-dwelling nerd developers and explaining their existence to the virginal minds of the general public.

Contrast this to modern journalism which goes something like:

Pick subject

Write title

???

Publish

Using this handy guide, let’s construct an article for, oh I dunno, let’s say Kotaku.

First we pick a subject. Let’s see… a game that’s coming out in the not too distant future…Let’s go within Super Monkey Ball: Banana Rumble. Now we invent a reason to talk about it. Generally this’d be a twitter post by someone with 2 followers or something. I’ll search for the series and pick the newest tweet.

Perfect. Finally we need an entirely unrelated game series that has way more clout to attach to the title… What else features platforming and a ball form… Oh, wait. I have the perfect candidate! Thus we have our title:

Sonic-like Super Monkey Ball: Banana Rumble rumoured to have a gay protagonist

What? The contents of the article? Who cares! With the invention of this newfangled concept called “social media”, 90% of the users are content with just whining about the imagined contents of the article based on the title alone. The remaining 10% who did actually click on the article for real can be turned away by just covering the site in popups about newsletters, cookies, login prompts and AI chatbots until  they get tired of clicking the X buttons. This way, we can avoid writing anything in the content field, and leave it entirely filled with lorem ipsum.

Somewhere along the way from the 2000s to now, we essentially dropped 99% of the “media” out of newsmedia. News now is basically a really shit title and nothing more. Back in the day, when newscycles were slower, most articles could feature long interviews with the developers, showing more than just shiny screenshots, but also developer intentions, hopes, backgrounds and more.

Newsmedia is the tongues that connects the audience and the developers in the great french kiss of marketing video games. Marketing departments generally hold up the flashiest part of the game up for people to gawk at, but that also tells the audience very little about the game in the end, other than some sparse gameplay details. It was the job of the journalist to bring that information across to the slightly more perceptive core audiences. Now with the backing of media gone, a very crucial part of the game development process is entirely missing.

It’s easier to appreciate things when they’re gone I suppose. But at the same time, since gaming journalism is slowly dying from strangling itself while also blaming everything around it for that, there is a sizable gap in the market for newer, more visceral newshounds. So who knows, maybe someone of the few people reading my blogs could make the next big internet gaming ‘zine? Because I’m pretty sure anyone here capable of stringing more than two sentences together is a more adept writer than anyone at Kotaku right now.

[wackymaci]

Maci Wiki Snips - the entire backstory - part two!

(Part one here!) [part two!] (part three here!)

bc who tf knows if I’ll ever really finish wiki and, well, this is all written!

akaaaa

Pre-canon events & backstories: This section contains information about Maci from before the canon Elysium’verse began - events that have taken place essentially “offscreen,” but are still canonical, and even crucial, to Maci’s history. Presented as a short biography… into narrative story.

copypasted again! still very long and still an entire STORY, of course picking up in the very next section following the previous post.

CW: Thanatos. THIS IS TRULY AN EXCRUCIATING READ (it was also an excruciating write) - physical-emotional-sexual abuse, violence, etc etc etc - PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

we (all of you allowed on this blog) basically already know the whole gist of Maci and Thanatos’ past (although I know there is one Specific Detail in this that I have NOT shared before that is going to make you all Gasp) - but since this is a very detailed summary of their full entire story it is of course horrific. s. sorry in advance. WELL.

So without further ado and wincing through reading this the entire way -

Ages 17 to 20... Thanatos.

Maci was now 17, and was being eaten alive by gnawing desperation, but she’d circled back to reminding herself that at least she was pretty. This was something she felt she could cash in on while she waited for Thanatos to realize she was available.

Without telling anyone what she was planning, that winter Maci gathered an insane sort of press conference in the Underworld and announced to the crowd that she was willing and ready to have sex with anyone who would have her. The audience of Chthonic entities did not actually seem to mind the thought of taking the virginity of a teenager clearly in the midst of a manic breakdown, but Maci's announcement was at first met with silence and hesitation, for if this was some sort of trap laid by the royal family, surely anyone who touched her would be subject to the wrath of the King and Queen. While they were slowly realizing that Maci was in fact completely serious - though again, clearly, in the middle of some sort of episode - Maci's flirty speech was interrupted by Thanatos.

Thanatos was always discreetly monitoring Maci for his own ulterior motives and he had been in the crowd that had formed. He was alarmed – not over Maci’s visibly waning mental health in this moment, but merely at the thought of “the ultimate prize” he had spent so much time carefully shaping and grooming giving herself away to anyone who wasn’t him. On the spot, Thanatos decided that he couldn’t risk anything or anyone getting in the way of everything he'd planned for years and seized the opportunity.

Thanatos appeared next to Maci and made a show of concerned outrage, beginning a hushed argument between them in front of the grumbling crowd until Thanatos told her that he’d keep her safe by sleeping with her himself. Finally stunned into acquiescence, Maci allowed him to teleport her with him back to the palace. Once they were alone, she lashed out at Thanatos for making fun of her, but Thanatos (who knew exactly how to talk to her and what she wanted to hear), assured her that he wasn’t joking. He told her that sure, doing all of this was… unhinged, but who was he to stop her from doing whatever she wanted to do? She was the Princess, after all. And if she was dead-set on sleeping with random people – sure, why not, but also… why not let that first random person be someone she knew and trusted, instead? Tearfully, Maci confessed that she could not possibly allow him to have sex with her out of pity, for she was in love with him, and always had been. And Thanatos, playing her like a fiddle, replied that he’d always loved her too - that was all it took.

Maci and Thanatos began to date, and Thanatos insisted they continue as an open relationship to allow Maci to meet her goal of sleeping with as many people as possible. The sex addiction that would follow Maci for the rest of her eternal life well into the present day (and never resolved) began here, as she was instantly intoxicated by the rush of endorphins and easy attention that came with. Meanwhile, Hypnos acted weirder than he ever had now that Maci and Thanatos were together, perhaps, in Maci's opinion, on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She chalked it up to jealousy (at Thanatos’ expert assessment) and paid him no mind.

Thanatos hit her for the first time about a month and a half in.

When it happened Maci burst into flames and threw him out; he didn't argue and retreated to his home in Tartarus. Days later, when she could no longer stand being alone, and felt that the string of anonymous sex she was having was no longer a sufficient band-aid, Maci sought him back out and demanded answers. Thanatos was all syrup sweet apologies, promising it would never happen again and swearing he had no idea what had come over him. Desperate to bury this and move on, refusing to acknowledge the glowing red flags and with no one else to turn to, Maci had Thanatos swear an unbreakable Stygian oath that he would never hit her again. He did swear this on Styx as asked. This was in fact the only time he would ever hit her through the rest of their relationship.

A few days later, Maci was with Thanatos when out of nowhere his mood turned suddenly cruel, and he began to neg her with sharp barbs and personal insults. Maci was successfully triggered into anger, her emotion-fueled powers setting ablaze again. But this time Thanatos was ready, armed with a theory he had been working his way up to testing: immortal deities did not need oxygen to function – but fire did. He strangled her until the fire went out, and Maci found herself choking literally beneath him, in a state of shock as Thanatos assumed the upper hand. As he finally dropped all his pretenses, Maci at last met the real Thanatos.

Over the next few days, weeks, months, Thanatos carefully outlined their new dynamic. He explained he was in love with her; he’d always been in love with the blind adoration and worship she held for him, though now he loved the look of fear in her eyes much more. Maci tried to break up with him – he refused. That wasn’t up to her. When Maci sought out Hypnos, he followed her to him with his scythe, and revealed, as Hypnos sobbed and bled, that Hypnos also didn’t make decisions of his own.

Maci couldn’t process the cruelty that was being inflicted upon her by her best friend, the love of her life, the only fucking person who had ever seemed to care about her. In fact, Thanatos seemed to enjoy reminding her that there was no one else beyond him. It was springtime by now, and Hades was not about to notice that anything was amiss in Maci's personal life. It was the time of year that Hades hardly noticed she even existed. When Thanatos began to wield his scythe against her too, Hades did not spare a second glance at the gory slashes Maci barely hid, proving Thanatos smugly right.

But though she was horrified to admit it, during these early months Maci was still in love with Thanatos, and she also couldn't stomach the thought of solitude. She was crippled by a fear of abandonment that had festered and grown by this time in her life. Thanatos plied her with niceties and the attention she craved, taking pleasure in the way he could easily dictate the rise and fall of Maci’s hopes, and she remained wrapped miserably around his fingers even when his faux kindness turned viciously cruel. She told herself over and over that at least he was better than no one. He also wasn't keeping her prisoner in the formal sense, and the terms of their open relationship still stood. Publicly, Thanatos still acted as the Underworld's darling, and they both knew no one would believe her if she tried to tell anyone what was happening. In her spare time, Maci numbly took solace in endless random sexual escapades, grasping after any fleeting moments of pleasure and affection that she could manifest.

This all went on, though by the next year, Maci age 18, her adoration for Thanatos had at least finally faded. Maci was far from the docile plaything that he was trying to force her into being, and she found the indignant energy to snap back; verbally, physically. Thanatos could overpower her every time, and everything was worse when he was angry, but she felt that it was worth something to piss him off, at least. The gravity of the nightmare she was living in began to sink in whenever Maci was alone with her thoughts, so she did everything she could to avoid ever being alone. When she was not with him, she distracted herself by seducing anyone across the Underworld, building a new reputation for herself that she felt vaguely proud of. She spent all her time in random beds or with Thanatos and was rarely at her home palace - and whether or not her parents noticed that she was a touch more withdrawn, a touch angrier, a touch cagier; whether they had heard the rumors about her activities; Maci never knew, as neither of them ever addressed her about it.

She also spent more time with Hypnos. He had always been a part of Maci’s life as her second best friend, but it was only now with the first spot open that Maci really started to pay legitimate attention to him. Eventually at Maci’s insistence, Hypnos admitted to her the scale of which Thanatos had been terrorizing him for their entire lives. He also confessed that he’d suspected Thanatos’ plans for her and regretted that he hadn’t tried harder to get her (or anyone prior) away from him before it was too late. Maci was stricken with the realization that Hypnos had been truly at her side while she had taken him for granted. Bonding through their mutual abuse, they began to lean on each other more and more when Thanatos was not looming over their heads. Eventually, Maci pushed their deeply trauma-bonded friendship into something more, and Maci and Hypnos began to date, secretly, behind Thanatos' back.

He found out, of course. It was at least a year later (Maci now 19 years old) that he finally acted in response, though Maci suspected he’d known for much longer before. Thanatos was always annoyed each time he caught the two of them together innocuously, but the level of anger he reached when revealing he knew their relationship was more than platonic was beyond anything he’d ever shown. Unfortunately, it was not difficult for Thanatos to twist this new dynamic back under his control. As an act of humiliating punishment, he forced Maci and Hypnos together; each terrified that the other would be hurt, they had become each other's biggest weaknesses. On this night, Thanatos used his scythe to slit Maci’s throat, nearly decapitating her.

Gods cannot die, and even what would normally be considered a grievous injury could eventually knit back together over time. In unimaginable pain, barely even able to speak, Maci was now left as prisoner tossed within Thanatos’ Tartarus cave, though he did not come or go and had whisked Hypnos away with him. Maci’s worst fear was to be alone, after all, and this was a punishment. The wound Thanatos had slashed into her healed tortuously slowly - when it was eventually “healed” enough for Maci to collect herself and leave, she disguised the horrific injury with a scrap of black fabric torn from her own chiton, tied around her throat like a choker. This black choker accessory would become part of her signature look forever through the modern day - though today that scar is only noticeable under close scrutiny, faded from time.

Not knowing where else to go, she looked for Thanatos, hoping at least Hypnos would be with him, and Thanatos promptly collected her back under his wing. During this second wave of their “relationship,” the occasional manipulative kindnesses he had sometimes tossed to her were no more. Thanatos was now bitter and cruel to Maci all the time. The resistance Maci had spit back upon him during those early years was also fizzled away - Maci quietly disassociated through each day. Thanatos' levels of physical violence escalated to include the occasional breaking of bones in addition to his ever-present scythe, and he now forced Maci and Hypnos together often. They still secretly clung to each other whenever they could, but both had numbly accepted that there would be no reprieve from this and Thanatos' constant surveillance. The passage of time was a blur. In public, Thanatos was somehow still all smooth charm, and though he was always flanked by a trembling Hypnos and an uncharacteristically docile version of Maci, no one ever guessed the truth.

The scope of Thanatos’ abuse came to a final crescendo sometime after Maci was 20 years old (maybe even beyond that, as she had reached two decades and stopped counting her immortal years). Unbeknownst to Maci, Thanatos had secretly procured a poison that he believed could strip a deity of their immortality - this had always been a long-time dream of his. Though Hypnos had grown up listening to Thanatos talk about this impossible goal, he was floored when Thanatos bragged to him exactly how his relationship with Maci would soon come to an end.

Hypnos had never stood up to Thanatos before, but he knew that he could not let this happen. As Thanatos cornered Maci alone to insist that she drink the glass he’d prepared for her, both Maci and Thanatos were equally shocked when Hypnos burst between them and shattered the poison in the nick of time. While Thanatos was frozen in disbelief, Hypnos breathlessly explained what had almost just happened to her... and Maci's state of disassociation flickered. No deity had ever died before. The sheer, insane, terrifying gravity of the Fate that she had missed by mere seconds crashed upon her as a weight heavy enough to launch her back into her senses. Then Thanatos snapped back into his senses, too.

He descended into an unhinged frenzy of rage and obscenity and lunged to hack violently at Hypnos, who was instantly overtaken. The scene unfolded before her in what felt like slow motion. Staring frozen in shock, it was here that it dawned on Maci what was happening and had happened; what Thanatos was doing to Hypnos and had done; what Thanatos had just tried to do to her; everything that Thanatos HAD done to her. Again she was snapped back to sudden reality. Maci, shoving down the fear that had consumed her for the past few years, forced herself between the twins and exploded.

Though Thanatos was in an uncharacteristic state of wild madness, redirecting his scythe wildly as Hypnos stumbled out of reach, Maci was now fueled by almost four years of her own stifled fury and she fended him off as a blazing inferno. Successfully forcing Thanatos back, Maci urged Hypnos to flee to the palace and bring back help. He returned with Persephone, who only understood what Hypnos had been trying to frantically explain in the throne room once she saw the scene of violence still unfolding. Infuriated, she peeled Thanatos off her daughter with an endless cascade of vines summoned from the underearth. The veneer of normalcy Thanatos always put on in front of everyone was shattered, completely gone even in front of the Queen herself, and he howled and fought as he was restrained. Restraining Hypnos too for good measure, Seph rushed to Maci, who now extinguished and collapsed.

And then it was over.

The immediate aftermath of Thanatos

Thanatos and Hypnos both were collected to the palace as prisoners (despite Maci’s insistence that Hypnos had nothing to do with this – they were known for being inseparable, and Seph wanted to be safe rather than sorry at this point. Hypnos did not argue), and before a court made up of the King, Queen, and the Primordial Titan-goddess Nyx, summoned as Thanatos and Hypnos’ mother, Maci finally revealed the truth, leaving no details out.

The list of shocking accusations would have seemed almost impossible to believe if Seph herself had not witnessed Thanatos at his worst. In fact Thanatos, even while held now within the constraints of thorning vines, was no longer bothering to hide his chilling demeanor. As the three elder divinities listened to Maci explain the sequence of events with Hypnos timidly chiming in when prompted, their reactions varied. Nyx seemed… appropriately horrified, but strangely did not protest the descriptions of Thanatos’ behaviors. Seph was visibly furious and heartbroken, devastated that Maci had gone through this, especially without anyone realizing. As for Hades – at first, he managed to be skeptical, but the evidence of Thanatos’ crimes in Maci and Hypnos' clear injuries could not be denied, as well as Seph vouching for what she had personally seen. Staring next into Thanatos’ unrepentant icy glare, Hades too settled into anger that such a betrayal of the royal family had occurred.

Maci had chafed at the fact that her word alone was not enough for her father to unconditionally support her, but by the end of this conference, it was still clear that something needed to be done, and all eyes turned to Lord Hades to announce the punishment that Thanatos should face. But Hades suddenly seemed troubled in a different way, and after a period of terse silence, he unexpectedly requested to speak to Maci alone. He sent everyone out of the throne room and Maci, with some anxiety, faced her father one on one.

Hades was quiet for a long time. He solemnly began to explain to her that since Thanatos was a Death God, one of only two in eternity’s existence, he did not think there was anything he could comfortably do to punish him, lest he risk the collapse of the functioning of the Underworld. Then, as Maci listened in dull horror, unable to believe what she was hearing, Hades turned on her, exasperation and frustration in his voice. He demanded to know how could she choose to get involved with this situation, knowing Thanatos was essentially untouchable? What exactly did she expect him to do to fix this now? Hades turned vicious, falling back into their pattern of relationship after all this time - had she done this on purpose to make a scene and be the center of attention again, wasn’t that just oh so typical of her? And for that matter how dare she prostitute herself across the Underworld, making a fool out of the King? He spat that he had always assumed she could take care of herself, but now it was clear that she was not capable of it, and again, what did she possibly expect him to do now that she had ruined her own life, and allowed Thanatos to take advantage of her stupidity?

Though Hades' words were callous, it almost seemed as though he had not yet fully made up his mind on what to do, or not do. For once, Maci did not respond to Hades’ provocation with matching vitriol. Instead, with another piece of her shattering inside, Maci tried to plead to Hades' sensibilities as her father and not just the King, begging him not to do this to her. But the longer Hades went on without responding, the more Maci's temper began to boil, rising in sheer desperation even while tears welled in her eyes. Finally she snapped at him that it was some move to send everyone away first, lest Persephone find out what a heartless fucking monster he was - the second the words were out of her mouth, Hades' gaze turned ice cold, and Maci knew she had sealed her own fate.

He reconvened their conference. Before Hades could issue his final decision, Nyx had the quick audacity to address them and plead for mercy for her son (just the one, ignoring the other who had suffered at his hand). Maci never knew whether Hades’ decision was drawn from this final request from the influential Nyx, or from her own last conversation with him; either way to the shock of everyone gathered including Thanatos himself, Hades formally announced that Thanatos would be free to go.

Ignoring Maci sobbing next to him, Hades issued a proclamation to serve as a restraining order, barring Thanatos from interacting with her ever again. This would serve as Thanatos’ singular punishment. Then, ignoring the furious disbelief of Persephone on his other side, Hades went on to issue a further proclamation – citing Maci’s clear inability to responsibly handle herself, effective immediately until further notice the Underworld’s population as a whole would be ordered to embargo her, and in fact anyone caught interacting with her would be personally imprisoned. As Maci wailed and screamed and pleaded to deaf ears; as Seph sat disgusted and outraged at her husband but unwilling to override him; as Thanatos bowed to the King, recollecting himself at once into his simpering, smirking demeanor; as a horrified Hypnos was ushered away by him and Nyx, still tethered to his brother with no end in sight; Hades offered no apologies, and he exited without looking back.

And with that, the saga of Maci and Thanatos' initial "pre-canon" history, and generally the overall sequence of events that inform the crucial components of Maci's character, is considered to officially end here. Thanatos would actively re-enter Maci's life after about two millennia had passed, now within the narrative of the Elysium'verse's canon storylines.

Maci would remain in Hades' forced isolation for the next eight years before circumstances (also pre-canon, briefly discussed in the following section) finally allowed her embargo to lift. She would then carry on into the rest of her life as the person this history had formed her into, the version of Maci who exists currently - all of it neatly compartmentalized inside of her, but quietly fueling absolutely everything about her personality, behaviors, and decisions.

✧*̥˚Maci literally would not begin to deal with any of the emotional or mental effects of her childhood and adolescence until about 2,000 years later, throughout the canon Elysium'verse.✧*̥˚

one more part left to finish this pre-canon up, the brief events immediately following that include Melinoe! (Part three is here now!!)

IF you made it to the end of this post- holding you I’m so soRRY.,,, but let’s all cradle Maci together because :(((((((((( AAUUUGHHHHHHHH— ahem once again questions and comments are appreciated AAHHH—

[melis-writes]

Can you post exactly how you outline/plan as I would love to learn your technique, process and skill 😍

Of course! ❤️ So before I write a chapter for literally anything (my own original work included) I write down the main plot points in big, chunky paragraphs. It doesn't have to be detailed or organized, but it needs to get the point across.

Take Moth to Flame for example. My first chapter would have a paragraph chunk that would explain who the Ferrari family is, a second one explaining how the Ferraris and Corleones know each other, and a third one as to how they'll meet. These 3 paragraphs are vague and need detail, dialogue, a place and a setting of course, but then I break it down.

First paragraph, who is the Ferrari family? I'll scribble down names of the characters, ages, where they were born, where they live, what they do for a living, etc. Second paragraph, how do they know the Corleones? I'll write they're one of the major crime families in New York, they have history from Sicily, Giuseppe Ferrari and Vito Corleone are old friends since childhood, there's no bad blood between the families in current day, and so forth. Third paragraph, how will the Ferrari and Corleone families meet? It's a set day at the Corleone manor, everyone is going including Victoria, Vito will mostly be speaking with Giuseppe and introducing his daughter (Victoria) who has never personally met the Corleone's before.

The subparagraphs I make following these 3 points will grow into even further detail. I'll spend sentences upon sentences describing each member of the Ferrari family from their date of birth, personality quirks and names. I usually do it in point form, because this is the rough draft of the fic and it's personally a waste of time for me to form it into a sentence when I know I'll be perfecting it later.

When I finish doing these paragraphs and subparagraphs, then I perfect the fic. I use the point forms to mold them into sentences, I change the wording, I add dialogue and expression. I delete the paragraphs as I write. I leave the paragraphs long and in sections so I can do one paragraph/section perfecting a day and make good progress on my fic.

I've always written out all of my paragraphs and subparagraphs before even remotely starting the fic. That's kind of my skill, but my Achilles heel at this point too. 💀 That's why I can rarely give away any snippets of my fic, it's because I haven't actually "written" it and it's all in jumbled, messy point form! I want to change that though. I'm thinking of writing 1 paragraph and 1 subparagraph, then quickly perfecting it into full writing and then repeating again.

That's personally the way I do it! ❤️

[tapir-boy]

back by no demand: a wip update

lila & ari's first meeting with the iron bull (goes wrong) (not clickbait) (dont watch after midnight) (etc etc youtube clickbait titles) (pending editing)

now posted! https://archiveofourown.org/works/64560886

oc & oc relationship where my commander lavellan (pre-being the commander) brings his niece to skyhold and establishing her connection to solas & bull bull/lavellan/felassan where two of them become step-uncles to the lavellan niece and also felassan gets cured of tranquility and has to live life afterwards. (not even outlined this is just a thing i keep thinking about. theres maybe a scene where the lavellan niece finds out about felassan's secret dead daughter and they have meltdowns together. who knows)

this has now spiralled wildly out of control and combined with the felassan/lavellan/bull ideas i had which is why they're now grouped together. shout out to my partner for enabling me RNSDKJGLD

as a treat, these are the WIP titles

the tapir-boy legally mandated Gender Fic TM CR where sof gets to reflect on gender after the convo w taash (includes trans neve bc its canon 2 Me)

no progress whatsoever. at some point im going to give up and just post it OR completely rewrite it. but that point is NOT TODAYYYYY

taash/laidir fic going over their history and how they end up getting together (will end in smut. this is a threat)

halfway done ish! the smut is potentially on the cutting room floor, im discovering via this fucking emmrook first time fic that i HATE writing like detailed smut, so its more just a fade to black at this point. IF i want to i might go back and do the smut. but for now its a fade to black. but i have about half my planned scenes done, i just need to finish the other half

sof & lucanis talking together after the titan reveal & sof picking a fight with solas over it

now written! yippeee https://archiveofourown.org/works/64880545

emmsof first time (wip. its almost at 3k now. im fighting for my life w this thing)

we've made it to 4k 🎉theres like one or two more sections i still need to write, and then its going to Steep for a while, and then im going to have to HEAVILY edit it since its kind of all over the place. such is the way of writing one fic over the course of, uh, six months

sofcanis first time (ends w them snuggling w emmrich to Cope with the Horrors.)

this may also spiral out into a much larger WIP at this point, i talked about it for too long and now its like 3 chapters that are outlined of the whole Thing of sof coming home, not all of it is smut now

and now for the new ones (because god help me i cant sTOP-)

a small series of interludes about the veilguard and their allies during the time that sof is missing in gay baby jail

mostly outlined, but i have like 500 words for the first scene i was thinking of

pre-canon series of vignettes about sof, varric, and harding during the year they travel before dav

tbh this is largely just an excuse to actually write out some canon about the war of the banners in my verse and establishing why sof is so secretive at the start of dav regarding their identity. its like half a wip and half a glorified outline

5+1 fic about connor hawke hiding lila's existence from the party in act 1, and the first time he intentionally introduced them

this was kind of spur of the moment, blasted it out in two days, possessed me until i had it done type of fic. its pending editing but ive already done one round, its honestly probably on its final draft at this point, but i wanted to get that fic about sof and their reaction to the titans out first since its been sitting longer. this is probably whats getting posted next

[breitweisergallery]

For the fanfiction writing asks: 2, 4, 6, 11, 14, 17, 29, 34, 38, 50, 59, 68, 75, 79

🥰 hi sass <3

2. Where do you get your fic ideas?

Oh god. Everywhere? Sometimes a particular line in a scene will stick out to me, or a small detail. Sometimes it's just "I wonder what would happen if I stuck these two in a room together and didn't let them leave until (arbitrary goal)". Sometimes a song inspires it.

4. How do you choose which fics to write?

I... write all of them. 😅😅

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

“Draw attention to the labor assignments. Hurt a few of them, I don’t care.” Her eyes glittered and a smile tugged at the corner of her lips, a cold cruel smile that was far too fetching on her face. 

“And what will you do?” 

Bren smiled at her. “Research. It is, after all, what I do best.”

11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

Mostly in order - but I also don't write chronologically a lot of the time, so that makes it a little more fun. If a scene is eating at me, I'll write it.

14. What is your favorite location and position to write in?

Between 3-6pm at the Starbucks down the street, between 9-11am camped out at a table at the campus library or dining hall, or between 8-11pm with the lights off in my room.

17. Do you have a writing routine?

I do! I have a candle I only burn when I'm writing. I put on the playlist for whatever project I'm working on. I reread the last bit I wrote, edit a page or two back. Then I delete a sentence and start from the sentence I just deleted.

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

That I still do it. That I write for myself, with tropes I like, with characters I like. That I get compliments on dialogue and character.

34. How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?

I have at least two fics published where I made the protagonist into a writer... Jokes aside, a decent amount. I can point to something I was working through in each fic I've published since 2015.

38. What is your most self-indulgent posted story?

exposed

50. How would you describe your writing style?

Dynamic. If I'm not actively trying, I don't think my writing stays terribly consistent across projects.

59. Have you participated in any fic events/writing challenges?  If yes, what were they and did you enjoy them?

My discord server made the "Fanfic Fests Anonymous" section just for me. There was a period where I was signed up for 37 at once. All of them were RPF events on Twitter, and I used to love them. I'm not sure I'd like them as much anymore, but I used to love working with prompts.

68. Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?

Oh boy, yes. Again and Again, We Killed a Dragon Last Night, A History of Heaven and Its Angels, as Understood by the Archangel Gabriel, once upon a damn-you-all, Mistakes Were Made, Bullet with Butterfly Wings, Sir?, Internecine, Avengers: A Deal with the Devil, and a long deleted Arrow fic that was pre-relationship Oliver/Malcolm and was so so good.

75. Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn’t expect?

stillness - the whole eldritch Gaon thing really hit something people wanted. Genuinely surprised me, for a fic I'm pretty sure I wrote in a couple of hours.

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

Write for yourself. Write the things you want to read. It's okay to share an idea and have it not go anywhere. It's okay to have WIPs in your back pocket forever. It never hurts to re-read things. Always read.

Fanfiction Writing Asks | Send Me Asks

[mellow-strain]

Straight size, to Plus Size, Acceptance and back to Straight Size

CW/TW for discussions of weight and size changes. Not much weight numbers, but definitely size numbers.

Note: All sizes will be in UK. For US conversion, subtract 4

Chubby childhood, going up, up again, got rid of all my smaller clothes and now I'm back down, missing tonnes of lovely clothes. Typical!

I had a rough childhood, without too much detail, as a Neurodivergant Mentally Ill child, you can imagine what I was going through. Food was a BIG source of comfort for me, possibly bordering Binge Eating Disorder and I'm only figuring out control/balance.

My Personal Size History

Throughout my life, I've ALWAYS been the second biggest or biggest in a room/group. From about age 9 I started wearing women's size 8's and 10's. I always wore the 14-15years in the children's section, which I put a positive spin on "because I was so mature, like a grown up" (yes, 15 was the PEAK of maturity in my eyes. I used to lie on Movie Star planet that I was 15 to seem cool and mature).

At about 16-17 I was about a size 14. Throughout school, Covid-19, college and my collapsing mental health, I went up to a 16-18.

Then after a really rough personal time an 18-20 (depending on the garment/brand).

Self-Acceptance

I started to accept my new size and get rid of some of the old, smaller garments that I was hoping I would fit into one day and I bought clothes that were a little loose so I wouldn't have to rebuy anything.

I became more active/aware of plus size/fat issues, worked on being inclusive of all bodies as possible. (And I still do). I also started actively using the labels of the plus size community and really loved engaging with some of the in-jokes from online.

My New Size, the Here & Now.

Today, I write this as a size 12. No longer plus size (at least, not in Europe). It has been a really strange process with a light grief of my plus size Identity.

I think I should have a proper funeral for my identity. I had really grown to love it in some ways.

Don't be mistaken, I think being a 12 and losing all that weight is great! I've put a LOT of effort and I'm overjoyed to start seeing results. I get such a sense of inclusion that I can march into any shop I want and pick up things in my size.

The Other Size of the Hill

I think it's just a mourning process of change and that the grass is always greener.

For example, I'm a regular charity shop patron and I use second hand fashion reselling apps quite a bit. Around the time I went down to a 14-16, of course, suddenly EVERY charity shop was BURSTING with gorgeous dresses and pants in a size 18. As I've discussed before, money isn't exactly plentiful in my life and it's not a rational nor worthwhile decision to buy garments that won't fit me for very long nor is it feasible to take in most of my garments.

So naturally, the sight of all these stunning pieces did have a twinge of longing.

As is well known in the plus size community, fat girls will wear their items to shreds because nice, fashionable plus size clothes are hard to come by and generally quite pricey.

But straight sized women don't really have this issue as much. And when you consider the consumer habits of Western teen girls who are growing up and outgrowing clothes, there's often a surplus of their lightly worn tacky club clothes (see the Shien-pocalypse for more examples)

All this to say, it's clear the grass actually isn't greener almost all of the time. It was just a moment of 'grief'.

The Future of my Fashion & this Account

As I discussed in my second most recent post, I'm having a style revamp! Mainly, because nothing fits me well and historical fashion is generally quite size adaptive (or at least can be made to accommodate size fluctuations more easily than modern fashion).

I hope to continue my body positivity/neutrality no matter if I'm a size XS or an XL.

If anyone has any advice on the themes and struggles discussed in this post from articles, blog posts, videos, documentaries, films or any other kind of media please let me know!

Thank you all for taking the time to read this post

[tsuunytsuun]

I was thinking about this earlier and I wanted to post about it.

Some people in fandoms gotta understand that 99% of people who ship don't always ship two characters together with the goal of it becoming canon.

If two characters I ship do happen to become canon? Cool, epic, I love to see it, happy happy victory dance yada yada yada.

But for other ships, both I and others know perfectly well that they'll never be canon, whether it be because it being canon would completely ruin the story, the characters have never/will never meet, their actual relationship and other circumstances would never allow it to be canon- WHATEVER the reason is.

For me, shipping characters is literally just for my own satisfaction. I enjoy forming my own headcanons and exploring the possible dynamics characters COULD have if they were in a relationship, or if the circumstances allowed them to be in a relationship.

I can only speak for the fandoms I'm personally in, and obviously I'm not talking about problematic ships- but for an example let's use a ship that's pretty popular in the KNY fandom, Rengoku + Akaza.

Now, I'm PRETTY SURE I speak for almost every KNY fan when I say that.. it's literally the most obvious thing in the history of anything ever to ever exist ever that Kyojuro and Akaza could NEVER be canon. The fact that Kyo is a Hashira and Akaza is an Upper Moon is the only evidence you need for that.

BUT, a lot of people can also agree that if it were possible, perhaps in an alternate universe where things played out differently, the two of them COULD have been friends- and possibly, in a relationship.

THAT'S what it's about, the possibility. Exploring possible scenarios and dynamics, what COULD be, not necessarily what SHOULD be.

Don't get me wrong, there's a ton of people out there who DO nitpick and look for the smallest little details that could POSSIBLY prove that their ship IS AND SHOULD BE canon, (even when really there is no proof and they're just reaching-) but that's not all of the people who participate in shipping.

My main reason for writing this is mostly because I'm unbelievably tired of people saying "tHis ShIp cOuLD nEvEr bE cAnOn And It'S sO dUmB To ShIp iT jUsT gIve It Up" or going into a fanartist's/fanfic writer's comment sections and saying a variation of this. Like that's NOT the point of shipping at all??

It's about imagination and speculation, y'all. Not EVERY ship has to be backed up by solid evidence presented in the media you're getting it from, whether it be a book series, an anime, or a tv show.

Even if a ship has literally NOTHING to back it up, no small details, no in-between-the-lines deeper meanings, no evidence found by looking closer at scenes, it can still be shipped. You know why? Because that's what shipping is: Taking our made-up scenarios we created at 2 AM or while taking an hour-long shower and running with it.

Some folks just take it a bit too seriously. By a bit, I mean a lot. A LOT too seriously.

[booksareboring-blog]

The World Atlas Of Coffee

The World Atlas Of Coffee: From Beans To Brewing - Coffees Explored, Explained, And Enjoyed by James Hoffman I tossed up whether or not I would post this. Does a review on what is essentially a coffee table book (no pun intended) really belong here? But then I thought, of course it does. It is a book that I read just like all the others, why would I not review it all the same? I may be alone in this feeling but I love a coffee table book. Great pictures, brief informative text, a potential conversation starter with guests, a way to show off my interests and how well read I am. A coffee table book is great to have on hand to read on occasion as it was something I could pick up and make my way through whenever I had left my book in another room and couldn't muster the energy to get up. I love coffee and James Hoffman is a wonderful and all-knowing voice in the coffee drinking world. When I saw this book about coffee with its attractive and textured cover and Hoffman's name adorning it, I couldn't resist bringing it home. The book details the full process in making coffee. Beginning with processes in growing and harvesting coffee, through processing the fruit into bean, to roasting and brewing the perfect cup. It is informative and intriguing. A dive into the journey the delicious drink you often hold in your hand has gone through to become a liquid in a cup makes it all the more exciting to take another sip. The book then moves to conclude with a long section on the various countries producing the large amounts of the worlds coffee. With coffee so far spread there are a lot of countries to cover, and only time for brief descriptions of that countries history with coffee, the flavour profiles of the beans grown there, and a brief note on the various growing regions of each country mentioned. Hoffman writes with the authority of his experience and delivers information which always hits the mark on what any coffee lover would want to know most. He doesn't shy away from including his own opinions but always makes it clear on what is fact and what isn't, which I appreciate. This is now one of my favourite books to display on my coffee table and I will enjoy revisiting specific information to inform and enjoy the different coffees and beans I engage with in the future. This is a short review but sometimes that is better. I think it's nice to remind ourselves to enjoy whatever it is we read, and that ALL reading is valid reading as long as we love it.

Happy reading folks. Don’t think too hard about the book you’re on right now, just enjoy it.

[saffronapplemanga]

Tenmaku no Jadoogar: A Witch’s Life in Mongol - 天幕のジャードゥーガル

HISTORICAL, DRAMA

Tenmaku no Jadoogar: A Witch's Life in Mongol by Tomato Soup

(1 volume, ongoing)

JP only. Hopefully, it gets licensed! Please hire me to translate this, publishing companies. The first 5 chapters are up for free in JP here.

Links to my other manga posts here

An Irani girl named Fatima who’s a captive of the Mongol Empire and uses her education to her advantage??? 

Hello, my name is Fatimah, I’m half Irani, and it’s finally my time >:)

I hope you guys are ready for history and cultural lessons! I worked really hard on this post and she’s a long one... I literally just came back from an Iran trip and got some books, took pictures, and consulted people who know more than me for this post (the trip wasn't for the post, that was a coincidence lolllll).

This series won first place in the オンナ編 (Female Category) for the このマンガがすごい！2023 / Kono Manga ga Sugoi 2023 / “This Manga is Amazing! 2023″. I’ve talked about the Male Category’s 1st, 2nd, 3rd place winners. Check the links if you’re interested :)

This post will be broken up into the following sections - What's It About? - Some Background - Representation - My Localization Choices - Story - Art - Culture Time! - Let's Talk Religion - The First Word From God, "Read".

Enjoy!

What's It About?

I usually don't like to go into plot details too much so you can discover the story for yourself. But since it isn't currently accessible in English at all, I figured I’d summarize the first chapter so you at least know what it’s about. Then I’ll summarize the rest of the chapters in a spoiler section for those who are interested. That way, we can all be informed enough to discuss it. I might touch on themes or other things outside the first chapter in the discussion, but I’ll try to do it in a way that doesn’t spoil for those of you who want to wait and read it for yourselves.

Chapter 1

We kick off with a rather poetic reference to scholars using geometry to measure the earth and the idea of trying to quantify fate. In 13th-century Iran/Persia, in the city of Tous, we meet a family looking for a domestic worker. The family is a woman, Fatima, who is newly widowed, her son, Mohamed, and her brother. A slave trader offers her some options, but they are rather pricey. So he suggests she take a little girl, Sitara, for a heavily discounted price. The slave trader asks Fatima to educate Sitara since they are a scholarly family, so she does.

However, Sitara plays dumb to ensure her value as a slave stays low. That way, no one would bother taking her to faraway lands to sell her for higher prices as she wants to stay close to her home to try and go back. Sitara tries to sneak out and runs into Mohamed, who talks to her about why he thinks learning is so great. He inspires her to pursue an education so she can have the tools to handle whatever life throws at her. Mohamed wants to travel and learn from others to find the "truth" for himself. He promises Sitara that he'll write letters to her and his mother, which further inspires her to learn to read.

The chapter ends with Mohamed leaving Tous, and the narrator tells us it was the last time Mohamed and Sitara ever saw each other.

Chapters 2-5

I'm going to speed through the rest now that we got the setup out of the way.

***SPOILERS FOR CHAPTERS 2-5***

*

*

*

8 years have passed since Mohamed left and Sitara has been pursuing an education under the direction of Fatima and her brother. While the Tous army is investigating strange activity near their borders, Fatima shows Sitara some things her late husband left behind such as books and astrology tools.

As the Mongols are closing in on Tous, Fatima and Sitara hunker down in a cellar to wait the threat out. Unfortunately, they're found, and one of the Mongol princes takes a book that belonged to Fatima's late husband. Sitara tries to stand up to him, causing her to be attacked. Fatima takes the blow, saying, "Don't touch my daughter," before passing away.

Tous is razed to the ground, and its citizens killed or driven out and forced to march to the Mongol camp. Sitara finds out that the city of Neyshabur, the city Mohamed is studying at, was also attacked. His whereabouts are unknown.

Interestingly, the Mongol prince was specifically looking for the book he took since his fiance had asked him for it. However, the book is in Persian and they are unable to read it. Sitara meets a boy who is interpreting for the Mongols in an effort to make himself more useful to avoid becoming a meat shield in battles for them. While he can speak Mongolian and Persian, he can't read. But, Sitara can. He asks her to team up with him to help each other become more valuable to their capturers. Sitara will read the stolen book, and the boy will translate. He suggests she come up with a more "elegant" or "majestic" name before presenting herself to the Mongol princes. She steps into their tent and introduces herself as "Fatima".

*

*

*

***END OF SPOILERS FOR CHAPTERS 2-5***

Some Background

Quick disclaimer, I'm by no means an expert. A lot of this is what I know and what I've experienced. I might have to make some generalizations or else we're gonna be here all day.

I want to offer my perspective on this series. I don’t get to do this often so indulge me please.

For those of you new around here, I'm a Japanese-to-English translator (I speak English, Arabic, and Japanese).

I personally never learned Farsi since and learned Arabic as a second language (but I know a few things). One of my best friends is Irani-American (Her name is also Fatimah! It's a ridiculously popular name) and she's fluent in Farsi!

Persian Gulf region in Western Asia.

Because of the Silk Road network, there are many ethnic groups. (I actually wanna study the Silk Road more!) So lots of people from all over moved around. There are afro-West Asians, those with blonde hair and blue eyes, those with more East Asian features, those with darker features, etc.

The Silk Road in the 1st century, courtesy of Wikipedia,incuding the Maritime Silk Road route.

Because of all the trade, you can see the influences shared across the region in the food, clothes, language, culture, and so on.

But, yeah! History is cool.

Representation

I am indeed one of those people who is annoyingly passionate about representation. Like, I could write a whole Master’s dissertation on why it’s so important, but I’ll spare you… for now. More eloquent people have already done so anyways.

As you can imagine, I’m not used to seeing myself represented in media. And any representation I did get, was… well, how do I put this… not great? Bad™ actually. Beyond racist tbh. So can you blame me for being excited? I’m still mad about that one episode of Grey’s Anatomy when that girl whipped off her scarf/hijab to save a patient IN A FULLY STOCKED HOSPITAL!!! That would NEVER happen ;_; like imagine if you pulled your pants off to put pressure on a wound when the gauze is literally right there. I CAN’T, where do I even begin??? But I digress.

And even if I wasn’t a person from this culture, it’s just cool to see rep we don’t usually get! I can see people from other cultures relating to Tenmaku no Jadoogar, or simply just learning new things about a culture we don’t get to see a lot of rep about.

My Localization Choices

There are no official spellings for this manga, so some explanations as to why I wrote things the way I did. Thankfully, these are all real-world names with context, so I'm not pulling nonsense out of thin air. Localizing uncommon/made-up names is... hard... traumatic flashbacks to when I had to look up official spellings for Gundam and Kamen Rider and the client didn't give me glossaries... Literally did research about Sypha Belnandes' name localization being all over the place for this blog post. Spoiler, I don’t think it was supposed to be Belnandes.

It really be like that...

Sitara - シタラ "Shitara". This isn't a name I was familiar with, so I asked my mom and Irani-American friend if it sounded like a name they knew. I wanted to say "Sitra" sounds like something that has a more "West Asian pronunciation" than the Japanese pronunciation in the manga. I was wrong and it's "Sitara" which means "star" just like what they said in the story.

Fatima - ファーティマ "Fātima". Same as my name! It's a super popular name. I katakana-fied my name as ファティーマ, which is the same, I just put the dash that elongates the sound in a different place. Why? Fatima is an Arabic name فَاطِمَة. In classical Arabic, it's pronounced like Fā-dtee-ma or Fadt-ma in Gulf Arabic (the letter طِ doesn't exist in EN/JP and the best way I can describe it is it's like D+T sound.) An Irani pronunciation is more like Fā-teh-meh, which is what my grandma and Irani-American friends call me. In English, I personally pronounce my name like Fuh-tee-ma, but people have various preferences. So basically, I took the Arabic and English pronunciations and katakana-fied it how I thought it would sound best in Japanese. And no one has ever pronounced my name wrong in Japan since katakana is phonetic and is actually pronounced how it's spelled. Wild I know. Meanwhile in the U.S. ... *cries* I have a half-Irani-half-Japanese acquaintance who doesn't put any elongated sound in her name like ファティマ, and it's all just preference tbh. There are also different ways you can spell it in English, but "Fatima" is the most common way.

Mohamed - モハンマド "Mohanmado". This one is pretty straightforward. I think most people are familiar with this name. Also super popular. There are various English spellings as well, so I just went with a common, shorter spelling (manga bubble space is limited after all, haha).

The title, 天幕のジャードゥーガル Tenmaku no Jadougal (this is how it's romanized on anilist), also doesn't have an official translation. It basically translates to Witch of the Marquee. Tenmaku="tent/marquee" in Japanese. ジャードゥーガル comes from جادوگر "jadoogar" meaning "witch" in Farsi. The romanization of the title should actually be Tenmaku no Jadoogar. There is no "L" in Japanese, so it often becomes "R". In Japanese, ジャードゥーガル is "Jādoogaru". Without context, it's often hard to tell if it's supposed to be "L" or "R" so I don't blame them for the mistake. But yeah, that's why I wrote it as Tenmaku no Jadoogar for the title at the top of the post. How do I contact the anilist admins about correcting that? The way my brain is short-circuiting trying to combine Japanese, English, my nonexistent Arabic reading skills since Farsi uses basically the same alphabet, and consulting my Farsi "sources"... my brain can only handle two of the three languages I speak at the same time...

Shout out to Fatimah #2 for putting up with all my questions <3 Farsi has some extra letters that aren't in Arabic and I didn't know about that one...

Story

I’m starting to realize that I really dig historical fiction. Things like Requiem of the Rose King (current read, I'm obsessed), Vinland Saga, Bride’s Story (a priority TBR of mine), and Ertugrul (this one is a Turkish drama, highly recommend!) are so fascinating because we get to take a peek at what life used to be like, especially if the author did their homework. This story reminds me of Ertugrul at times since they both take place in West Asia during the 13th century, and the characters in both had run-ins with the Mongols.

This baddie took out three Mongolian soldiers on her own!!! Well, her horse helped. Horses are great. I'm a horse girl, literally took riding lessons for ~4 years.

I found out while researching for this post that this story is in fact based on a real person in history! Here's the Wikipedia page, more info here by Dr. Jack Weatherford who wrote a book that I'm totally going to read once I can get my hands on it. I think this manga is going in a similar vein as Vinland Saga where the events are real historical events, and some characters were actual people in history, but the author is going to take creative liberties. (Check out Merphy Napier and Philip Chase's Vinland Saga discussions. They're great and Philip has a lot of historical knowledge relevant to that series that's super informative!)

The characters are lovable and interesting. I like Sitara's spunk, Mohamed's thoughtfulness, and Fatima's gentle nature, just to name a few. The relationship Sitara has with Mohamed and Fatima was very sweet. I'm interested to see how the relationship that I mentioned at the end of chapter 5 goes. Also intrigued by the bits of relationship dynamics with the Mongolian characters we have so far.

I got super excited when the theme of "learning/education" came up. Seeing how that looked back in 13th-century Persia which was a hotspot for advances in many fields is so cool! This story led me to do some research and asking around on topics I was familiar with, but not an expert on, and I learned things about my own culture/religion. More on learning and education later. But overall, a strong start and I can't wait to read more!

Art

My twitter reading thread for this series

The art is very stylized, like a chibi-esque style with Persian art influences. I like the contrast between the simplified shapes and the detailed bits. I’m a big fan of inky blacks and white whites. I know all manga is black and white but this one feels like it has more contrast due to the simplified shapes. It's got tons of charm!

The shoujo-esque flowery background, but make it Irani-flavored✨ It looks like the rug we got in Iran!

Some pictures I took at historical sites in Tehran with more examples of flowery imagery. Sorry if the image quality sucks, I didn't have my good camera :(

Culture Time!

As soon as I saw this cover, I felt a sense of familiarity. Particularly, the style of henna on her hands made me go, “Hey! That’s similar to how we do our henna!” While we also do the mehndi style henna (Is that the right term? Help) in the gulf area because of Indian influences due to longtime trade, we have another kind as well. You take the paste and hold it in your hands while curling your fingertips into it.

I had such a hard time finding pics that weren’t the intricate mehndi design ones. I would’ve just put henna on my own hands and taken a pic to show what I’m talking about, but it’s winter and it’s not good to use henna in winter because it has a cooling effect. I put henna on in winter once, and it made me so much colder. But makes you feel nice and cool in the summer! That’s why it’s traditionally applied to the head, hands, and feet, which are places you have a lot of heat dissipate from and it saps the heat away. I remember my mom doing that for me and my brother all the time when we were little during summer.

But! With the help of my mom, she helped me narrow it down. I didn't know the actual name of this style of henna. I just called it gulf-style henna lol. Apparently, it's حنه قصعة henna gasa'a, and bingo!

It doesn't show super well here, but the tops of the fingertips are also dyed like on the cover of the manga. Love that nazar ring though, so cute! 🧿

This is the mehndi style henna that people are most familiar with.

When I was little, I assumed that henna was made from soil because there are soils that can dye things a reddish color. But it's actually from a plant! The leaves are ground into a powder and then made into a paste when you want to use it.

Health, cleanliness, and hygiene are big deals in Islam. Other than being used for beauty and it’s cooling effect, henna is also used to keep oneself clean and smelling nice. It’s said that the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) utilized henna as well.

I actually didn't know much about Iran's henna culture. When I asked my Irani-American friend whose family is from Tehran (northern Iran), she said she wasn't familiar with any. But like the rest of the gulf, Iran has a lot of ethnic groups. It's also a large region (it used to be a whole empire and all that, too), so there are definitely people who do use it!

Turkmen Iranis, dying their fingertips with henna, exactly like in the manga! My family are Turk, too! (From a book I picked up a few days ago in Iran, "Nomads: Migrating with Swallows". What a pretty title...)

The clothing of the characters also felt very familiar. The cover of volume one reminded me of this picture:

Maku Kurd girl ("Nomads: Migrating with Swallows")

Iran grows tons of fruit, herbs, and flowers, famously roses! Rose water is a staple we pretty much always had at home.

Rose water is used for medicinal purposes and has antibacterial and anti-inflammatory qualities. People often wash up with it since it has a lovely fragrance and makes you smell nice. It's also used in foods and desserts or added to drinking water for flavor and health benefits.

Sitara bringing Fatima rose water. It looks just like this 12th-century rose water container. We still have containers like this nowadays and I actually used one to wash my hands recently.

Faloodeh (Persian Lime and Rose Water Granita With Rice Noodles), Bastani Sonati (Saffron and Rose Water Ice Cream), my family calls it Sharbat Nimil but apparently, it's Tokhm-e Sharbatie in Iran (Rose Water and Basil Seed Drink) Fun fact: Sharbat Nimil means "ant drink" because the seeds look like... ants... and the thought freaked me out as a kid, I never wanted to drink it. I thought my aunt was messing with me but my parents said, "Yeah, no, that's actually what it's called."

Dates! Another staple. Always have some in the house.

These are ripe dates. We call them "tamar". Sweet, delicious, amazing.

These are fresh dates! We call them "khalal". Sweet, crunchy, amazing.

The architecture was also, you guessed it, familiar as well. Particularly the courtyards! It really took me back.

Courtyards! My Irani grandma (also Fatima, I told you it was a popular name...) had a courtyard home too, but less fancy, and she had a huge date tree instead of a fountain. We would play there all the time when we visited. Also reminds me of the houses in some of the Irani movies I've seen.

Let's Talk Religion

I know religion is historically always a fun and totally not divisive topic, but we're all going to be civil and discuss stuff like adults. I'm not trying to convert anyone, I swear. Chasing after people and forcing religion down their throats is actually frowned upon in Islam believe it or not. I’m also not saying it’s a better religion than others or anything of the sort so don’t come for me. It's just relevant to the story and I'm hoping we can interact in good faith, so let's talk.

I am NOT a scholar, this is just what I know and my understanding so please don't quote me. I probably have to gloss over and simplify a lot because there's... too much.

There are various interpretations of Islam. The Quran, to my understanding, is meant to have its interpretations evolve over time to address the issues of people no matter the time or place. Issues faced centuries ago might not be as pressing now, or we might have new issues today that weren't a thing back in the day. Iranians mainly practice Shia Islam, which is also the sect I know most about so that's what we're focusing on.

Islam is the fastest-growing religion. It's also quite misunderstood due to hate/misinformation, AND — I'm gonna just say it — there are Muslims who have skewed interpretations of Islam's teachings. Am I the perfect Muslim and my interpretations are law? I didn't say that, obviously not. But I'm going to call it how I see it. I don't take sides and I'm not going to defend someone just because they identify as Muslim if they're doing stuff that doesn't make sense (that would be un-Islamic and just... dumb imo). But anyway, there are a few points I’d like to touch on so we all have a base understanding.

Many people think that Allah (SWT) is “the Muslim god” but actually, he’s the same god that brought down the Bible and Torah. He's just... God. This is why you’ll see a lot of crossover between these religions. And Christian Arabs, for example, say Allah because that’s just God in Arabic.

Why did God come up with different religions? It’s my understanding each religion was what the people needed at the time. (Also because of the next point.)

Muslims DO believe in the original Bible and Torah, but historically there's evidence that these books have been altered by people over the years. (Again, I'm not saying your religion is wrong if you're Christian or Jewish. You do you.) Then what about the Quran? I’ll actually address that later.

Muslims DO believe in Jesus. We just think he's a prophet instead of the son of God or God.

Cool? Cool.

Now to address some religion-related things that came up in the story.

The part where there is the selling of slaves made me raise an eyebrow since slavery is not allowed in Islam, because, duh.

I did some research and asked around. I was able to talk to my Irani-American friend's aunt when I visited them during my Iran trip last week since she's studied this kind of stuff. She joked that I should save myself the trouble and not touch the slavery topic, especially with Americans since it's... like... a super touchy topic. But this is an important topic and we should talk about important topics instead of shying away from them. Respectfully, of course. And maybe we can all learn something. It was a perspective on slavery that was very different from what I'm used to hearing about from the U.S. She essentially confirmed what I was thinking.

The Quran envisions the ideal society as one in which slavery no longer exists. Since slavery was such a widespread issue around the whole world back in the olden days, (it still is an issue today, but I'm assuming it was worse back then) it was unfortunately unrealistic to try and abolish it in one fell swoop. Again, this isn’t just abolishing in one country or region, but tackling the issue worldwide. So, in Islam, the idea is that there are steps in place to phase it out. For example:

No free people can be enslaved, duh.

People cannot be enslaved due to debt or crime.

You are encouraged to help slaves buy their way to freedom by giving them money to do so or buying them to free them.

If you are in possession of a slave, you should free them.

If you house a slave, you must treat them well.

This last one is just an interesting thing I didn’t know about that I saw in my research and it came up in the story — Slaves get half the punishment for a sin than if the same sin was committed by a free person.

I wondered why then, did Fatima's family not free Sitara and the other slaves? It didn’t look like they had anything stopping them from running away either. Sure, Sitara got scolded by another slave for trying to leave, but she could have tried again and run away. The other slaves in the story seemed like they wanted to/were okay with staying, even though they did wish they could go home and felt homesick. So what’s up?

It's my understanding that back then, it was common for people to take slaves into their families, sometimes even presenting the option of marriage into the family if they were interested, and offering shelter and and education. It was a way to take them off the streets, away from the slave traders, and keep them safe.

Why not just take everyone back to their homes? Various reasons. They might be in danger if they try to go back. They might not have anywhere to go back to. Also, this was the 13th century. It's not like they could just hop on a plane and go home. There's also no law enforcement the way we have today. Hell, even with all the local and international law enforcement of today, slavery is still a major issue.

Sitara wants to go home but has no home to go back to.

Is this ideal? As I mentioned, ideally slavery wouldn't even be a thing. I’m pretty sure we can all agree slavery=bad. I'm not here to argue that. But I also think it's important to try and understand what things were like back then and why people did what they did. A lot of times I see people measure things with their standards that were developed in modern day, with their own life experience. You need to be careful when doing that. I'm sure in the future, people will look back at us like, "Damn, y'all lived like that???"

Perhaps, this was the best the average person could do. Try to protect them and offer them shelter and an education. As long as we don’t live in an ideal world, we need to consider various solutions to issues. So this was an interesting way to try and tackle the issue given the time and circumstances. It’s rather different from what I think most Americans know about this subject.

Did everyone do this? I'm going to say probably not. Terrible people always exist. Plus there are plenty of people who say they practice a religion, but cherry-pick what they want to follow, do the opposite, have distorted understandings of its teachings, or just downright weaponize religion to suit them. That's a whole other discussion though, so I'll leave it there.

I would like to read more about this topic though, so if anyone knows any sources, let me know!

The First Word From God - "Read"

"Slave or not, it is a Muslim's duty to seek knowledge, as stated in the hadiths."

What's a hadith? Here you go. Also, this is the OG Fatima, Lady Fatima (PBUH).

When God first sent the angel Gabriel down to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), his first word to him was, "read". Education and seeking knowledge are SUPER important in Islam, and should not be kept from anyone regardless of race, gender, social standing, etc. Seeking knowledge will make you a more rational, well-rounded person. Knowledge in this context is broad and all-encompassing. It doesn't only mean religion, math, and science, but philosophy, art, and so on. Literally anything. I hope I don't really need to convince anyone that education is a human right and empowering and all that stuff, so let's keep it moving.

"Isn't that what learning is all about?"

To address this earlier point:

Muslims DO believe in the original Bible and Torah, but historically there's evidence that these books have been altered by people over the years. Then what about the Quran?

Tbh, I hesitated to include this part because people might misinterpret or take offense. To reiterate for the umpteenth time, I'm not saying your religion is wrong if you're Christian or Jewish. You do you. We’re actually told to respect believers of these religions. I swear!

So, yeah. Moving on.

Another reason seeking knowledge is an obligation in Islam is so that you are able to read the Quran for yourself. When loads of people read it, memorize it, and are familiar with it, any changes will not go unnoticed. This is to stop people from weaponizing and distorting the Quran's teachings. And this is why there is only ONE Quran, and not multiple versions (I’m not talking about translated Qurans). Modern-day Qurans match the oldest Qurans. They haven't changed.

In general, having knowledge about things makes you less susceptible to being lied to or misled, regardless of the topic. Unfortunately, I'm in the camp where I believe not enough people do their own research and reading. And again, I don't just mean religion, but everything. That kind of thing takes effort, and effort is hard.

Go read!

You're Still Here?

Like the first-place winner for the Male Category, The Summer Hikaru Died, which I’ve been pushing on anyone who will listen since volume one hit bookstores in Japan, Tenmaku no Jadoogar: A Witch's Life in Mongol deserves to win the Female Category. From what I can see so far, it’s well researched and written with love. I'm looking forward to seeing how this story unfolds and I may add more thoughts as we go.

Volume 2 is due to come out February 16th, so I’ll be tweeting my thoughts on my reading thread. The link to this post is on Twitter here if you want to share it there. EDIT: Volume 2 post is up!

If there's anything else you'd like to see me discuss or expand on, let me know and I'll see what I can do. I'd love to hear what others think!

🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿

—————————–

If there’s any Japanese-only manga you want me to check out, let me know! No promises, I’ll only read what I’m interested in, but I’ll take suggestions into consideration. Preferably, shorter manga or newer manga with a few volumes out since I like to take breaks from longer series I’m reading :)

[oviids]

pls share some of your spn fic recs 🥺🥺

ok, a few things first:

followers and mutuals who do not have supernatural brainworms, kindly avert your eyes

i don’t normally rec or even read much fanfic any more but this is a CRISIS ok (cont.)

there is so. much. content for deancas out there and i have incredibly high standards, several ancient ao3 bookmarks, can speedread, and want to spare you guys the experience of wading through it all.

i also have a section for spn femslash since I was pretty into that back in the day (sadly a lot less fan content for this :/)

I don’t really like au’s or pure smut (I honestly usually just skim or skip those scenes) so if you’re mainly looking for that kind of thing this probably won’t be very helpful to you. jsyk.

i’m not great at describing stuff but i’ll do my best, i’ll also try and add tw’s when neccesary.

i wil try and keep updating this with any other decent fics i find, feel free to rec stuff too since i’m like 7 years behind.(edit 1/25/21) this is getting looooong so i’m going to start making another list on my spn blog rather than update this one

(edit 1/3/21) since this has gotten pretty long i’ve added rating/approximate word counts and marked my particular favorites with an asterisk.

Dean/Cas fic:

So Says The Sword*** - explicit/85k. FUCK its good...au/time travel where dean is not pulled out of hell by cas and says yes to becoming the michael sword. honestly could serve as an alternative to actually watching the show, if you want to get into dean/cas without actually doing that to yourself.

Fata morgana.*  - teen/6k, pst s9 finale. very bela centric and i love it, she finds cas looking for dean in hell.

Redemption Road -misc/600+k. an incredibly long fic from a collaborative writing group back in the day. canon divergent from the end of s6 on, has a cool take on godstiel and the leviathans, as well as the lovecratian mythos connection. ngl when i reread it i only made it about 28% in but imo the casual reader can actually stop around there, the rest concerns a lovecraftian apocalypse that is still good (i think i don’t remember it very well) but not required to enjoy the first half. if you prefer i have an ebook version i can send you on gdrive.

Someone Who's Feeling For Me* - mature/45k, s12. they run into lisa braeden and dean thinks cas is into her while cas thinks dean still likes her. treats lisa way better than the show ever did and the miscommunication is pretty funny rather than annoying.

a turn of the earth - mature/95k. time travel fic where cas from s10 keeps showing up in deans life from a few years before s1 to right before the hellhounds take his soul.  slow burn, good character study, and at one point cas punches the dad in the face and it rules.

On the Wings of War - teen/85k, canon divergent s5. dean accidentally becomes the Horseman of War. plays fun, fast and loose with biblical lore, michael has some rights.

Named - mature/95k, alternate s5. EXTREMELY blasphemous in a fun sexy way. manages to predict metatron almost to a T. there’s one major character death and its literally jesus christ, everyone is very sad about it and it sets the rest of the story rolling. an alternate interpretation of cas’ mission to raise dean from hell which had me on the floor. ngl its kind of misogynistic at points, but its from 2010 and tracks with late oughts-2010 spn (sorry anna the author did you dirty here:/).

The Girlfriend Experience - explicit/15k. uhhh i don’t normally rec or even read smutty stuff unless someone i know is specifically asking for it but this has stuff like sam trying to be a good ally and dean thinking holding hands with cas is ‘kinda gay :/’ minutes after having gay sex with him.

i crippled your heart a hundred times - explicit/19k, s8. cas confesses his feelings and dean spends a long time getting his head out of his ass about it. truly hits different after the actual confession, despite being written six years early it feels like its actually what could have gone down more or less if the writers weren’t talentless demons who hate us.

My Roots Take Flight** - mature/125k. reverse au where cas is a hunter and dean’s an angel...OR IS IT???? an alternate retelling of s4. tw for briefly being set in a psychiatric hospital/the hospital being mentioned somewhat frequently throughout the fic, plus more references to torture in hell and heaven than usual.

The One Thing You Can't Lose* - teen/4k.you know those posts about how cas is a super-strong super-tough ancient warrior but he just lets dean tug him around because he likes it? thats it thats the fic.

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built - teen/14k, post s8′s ‘goodbye stranger.’ cas is on the run with the angel tablet but keeps in touch with sam and dean by text, he and dean still manage to be terrible at Actual communication.

Autrement, Danger - or, The Account of an Exceedingly Long Day - mature/30k, post s11. a monster that takes the appearance of your soulmate leads to some wild miscommunications and dealing with years of repression, also dean gets to see cas’ true form which is always cool. tw for non-graphic mentions of underage sexual assault/sex work.

Down to Agincourt - mature/explicit/900++++k, endverse continuation. endverse!cas survives his encounter with lucifer and discovers another time-displaced dean from s7. i’ve only read the two of four parts but its really good, veeeeery slow burn, has a lot of fun oc’s and takes a rather surprising but (imo) entertaining and intriguing turn into Hellenic history and mythology. usual tw’s for endverse/endverse!cas but nothing graphic, it’s actually pretty light-hearted (relatively speaking of course).

Nothing Equals the Splendor** - explicit/8k, THEE finale fix it fic you’ve been waiting for! posits that the entire final episode was just a (very bad and lame) djinn’s vision.

like moses and batman and james dean - explicit/31k, post s8. explores dean’s trauma and internalized homophoba from his technically canon experience with sex work and its impact on his relationship with cas. the sex work itself isn’t really shown in any detail but it’s still a relatively heavy fic.

Crazy Diamonds - explicit/25k, s4/alternate s14. fresh-out-of-hell dean and dean from 10 years in the future are displaced from time and sent to each other’s present.

where the weeds take root - explicit/30k. au where the men of letters kick them out of the bunker and they accidentally move out into the country, get over their codependence and semi retire. featuring chicken coop building, sam volunteering at a dog shelter, gardening, and blissfully mundane domesticity.

No Resting Place - teen/6k. djinn dream fic, switches back and forth between cas’ dream of being married to dean and retired from hunting to the aftermath when he wakes up. tw for brief mention of suicide since, y’know, djinn dream.

any port in a storm - mature/52k. post s8 finale. cas and dean have to pose as a couple going through a rough patch for a case and actually deal with their emotional baggage, cas struggles with being human and metatron is up to stuff.

all this and heaven too* - explicit/7k. in the author’s own words ‘...a love letter to every trans person who ever projected onto Dean Winchester.’ absolutely unzipped me emotionally and theologically, its just. so good. tw for very brief mentions of internalized transphobia/dysphoria.

Because it is* - mature/6k, finale fix it. killing chuck does not bring back anyone back and the winchesters spend a very long time dealing with what they’ve lost, cas and dean SOMEHOW still manage to have signifigant communication issues even after the confession. tw for suicidal thoughts/brief attempt.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit* - teen/4k, s6. when cas fell for dean it automatically soulbonded/angel married them, shenanigans ensue when dean finds out during the angel’s civil war. funny and actually written back when s6 was airing so cas is still (or at least pretending to be) kind of an OP asshole which is fun.

Rinse, Repeat - teen/3k, s8. angsty character study of cas as he’s reprogrammed and trained to kill dean. not really dean/cas since its just cas’ pov of canon events but its beautifully written and ends with him snapping out of it through the power of love (also now a canon event!).

Emergence - explicit/59k, canon divergent after s11. dean meets a hunter he only recognizes as their friend claire novak’s missing father, but soon realizes he might be the answer behind the mysterious void in his memories and feelings (aka everyone’s memories of cas are completely wiped away for three years).

Cuckoo And Nest - explicit/10k, early established relationship/character study, cas tries to figure out how he fits into dean’s life and space in the bunker.

Build a Home* - teen/20k, canon divergent s12. sam and eileen are cute and turn the bunker into men of letters/hunters hq and everyone but cas moves in, mutual miscommunication issues and pining ensues.

Down in the River - teen/5k, early s8, cas prays to dean in purgatory while sam and dean try to figure out a way to get him out.

Teaching Poetry to Fish* - mature/52k, ?? BC through the entire series/canon divergent s14 and 15. retelling of crucial scenes throughout the shows timeline from cas’ pov, feat. actual fish and poetry.

the minor fall, the major lift - gen/4k, post confession/finale fixit. dean goes into the empty to save cas and runs into several old friends (and enemies).

With the Kisses of His Mouth* - teen/3k, gen later seasons. dean and cas keep kissing by accident.

Remaining Grace - explicit/109k, alternate s6. au where cas asks dean for help with raphael and dean, of course, does. tw for temporary major character death/semi-graphic depictions of alcohol withdrawal.

The face of heaven.* - teen/10k, au, dean is a regular guy and cas is a fallen star (think ‘stardust’, kinda).

Stories Are Made of Mistakes*  - teen/5k. newly human cas has trouble getting used to a human body and humanity in general, but still figures out that he and dean are A Thing before dean does.

Hurry Up And Wait - mature/21k, canon divergent s12. a fairyland and quite possibly LOTR related case comes up and dean goes full fanboy, mary is introduced to the wonders of the peter jackson adaptions, many references and comparisons (including between cas and dean’s ‘friendship’ and arwen/aragon). also charle is still alive and has just been doing fairy stuff this whole time.

There Are Many Things - explicit/28k, s9. cas is extremely lonely/touch-starved and trying to figure out this whole human thing, as well as where he and dean stand after being kicked out of the bunker.

It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing - teen/40k, post s11 finale. amara helps dean by putting him in a magical coma so he can finally get some much needed rest and show him possible futures for him, sam and cas. meanwhile sam and cas go on a roadtrip (or several) to find componets for a spell to wake dean up. really good sam and cas friendship, they actually talk about their shared lucifer trauma and stuff.

Non-Photo Blue - gen/2k, s4/5/alternate s5. fifty moments from cas’ memories of dean.

Tall Grass - explicit/57k, canon divergent post series. cas becomes the ultimate plant dad. feat the wayward sisters gang, cathartic character growth, fun oc’s, domesticity, and lots of actual botanical info-dumping.

on vessels - no rating/gen/2k. established dean/cas, cas tells dean about how he used to imagine what it would be like to have him as his vessel.

search for tomorrow on every shore* - teen/11k, post-finale (extremely derogatory). some angels in jack’s new heaven act out and dean gets temporarily resurrected in 2003 and runs into his younger self.

Architecture of the Minotaur’s Heart - explicit/45k, very canon divergent post s1. dean’s new house seems to have a life and mind of its own, while in his dreams he sees glimpses of a world and apocalypse that never came to be and an angel that looks strangely like his mysterious neighbor, cas. loosely inspired by the book house of leaves (which i highly recommend for fans of weird horror).

The Distance Of The Setting Sun - explicit/17k, post s5. established dean/cas relationship, team free will finally takes advantage of cas’ abilities to go on vacation around the world.

diamond star halo - teen/5k, s11. dean lets cas use him as a temporary vessel while he recovers from rowena’s spell, sam is a long-suffering third-wheel.

Make Known** - teen/16k, s6/7. dean struggles to understand how cas could have become his enemy and whether he ever truly knew him in the first place.

blunt little instrument* - mature/1.4k, post finale. dean finally confronts his father in heaven, very cathartic.

my heart a compass*** - teen/10k, post confession. the empty forces cas to re-experience his most regretted moments while dean tries to snap him out of it and bring him home.

A Crash Course in Someone Else's History - teen/11k, s6. cas from the very start of s4 is brought forward in time by s6!cas to distract the brothers from his and crowley’s plans.

The Cuckoo Father - mature/8k, s7 au. the woman who found cas in the river post-leviathans does not marry him bc he was sent to her by god or whatever, but actually identifies him as jimmy novak and sends him back to claire and amelia.

The Dead Dean Clause* - teen/5k, post alt s5 ending. team free will celebrates surviving taking down lucifer by getting blitzed, cas lies to a cop and gets an impromptu driving lesson. title/description sound dark i know but it’s actually very funny and light.

Suck It, Judy Garland - mature/20k, s12 (after the ‘i love you...i love all of you’ episode). cas and sam have to pretend to be a couple for a case and dean is NOT happy about it.

By Daylight and In Dream - teen/16k, s5. pre-dean/cas, dean invites cas to use his dreams to hide from the other angels. tw for very brief mention of a memory/dream of alastair sexually assaulting dean.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven - mature/22k, post-canon. an actually happy (if sometimes bittersweet) heaven endgame written several years ago, though some details are rather eerily similar to the show’s ending.

heaven is a place on earth* - teen/2k. dean’s pov of some of the times cas left him behind throughout the show, and one alternate ending where he finally gets to stay.

I Cleanse The Mirror - teen/20k, alternate s6. dean’s body is stolen by an ancient elemental and his soul has to hitch a ride in cas’ vessel.

an exploration of gender; angelic*** - mature/4k. *oscar isaac voice* lets get into angel gender politics!! aka cas is trans.

Zenith - explicit/33k, s9. after 9x06 an angry witch curses cas with the ability to see supernatural beings and human souls.

La cucina. - gen/3k, alt s9. dean goes wild helping a newly-human cas find out what kinds of food he likes, or the early s9 domesticity we deserved!

Dean Winchester, Cocksucker at Rest***** - teen/7k, post-finale. john and mary finally come over for dinner and john reacts to dean/cas in a rather predictable fashion. SOOOOOOOOO good omg, its so funny and a little sad and very very cathartic. part of a series that has a few other really good short fics.

The Way You Didn't Go - teen/5k, s15. coda to 15.09, dean has nightmares about the moc!cas timeline.

On Drowning - teen/28k. dean saves cas after he nearly drowns, they both try and deal with the physical/mental fallout (aka the fic where thee iconic “you only touch me when you think I’m dead or dying” originates). tw for realistic depictions of drowning/triage/misc medical information.

The Thirty-Six Questions That Lead to Love* - mature/13k. claire has dean and cas pretend to be her gay dads for a case and they play the titular 36 question game, get mistaken for swingers, and birdwatch, among other things.

Assorted F/F stuff:

Deep Breaths* - mary/ellen, au where mary said no to azazel’s deal and let john stay dead, still becomes a milf.

Like Rebel Diamonds - krissy/claire, they become hunter gf’s on the hunt for cas to kick his ass for taking jimmy. not-so-stealth dean/cas as well.

To Ash and Bone - anna/ruby, same author as the previous fic (p much all of her stuff is good from what i recall). au where ruby is a witch and helps anna when she’s cursed.

Holy Clockwork Angels - jo/ruby, STEAMPUNK au with very cool worldbuiilding.

At Day's End - jo/anna (my fucking KINGDOM for more jo/anna content, the dean/cas parallels are allllll there), au where they are both at the camp in the endverse and gfs.

these posts - ok so not actually a fic but i’m now obsessed with this hannah/meg dynamic.

Tagelied - mary/ellen, the true story of how ellen got into hunting before angels interfered.

Hell's Bells** - meg/abaddon, alternate s8/9 where meg survives crowley’s attack with sam’s help and teams up with abaddon (who she has a sk year old crush on) to take back hell.

The Ecstasy of the Rose - anna/ruby, anna travels back in time to escape heaven and becomes a signifigant part of ruby’s old human life.

Angel Underground - anna/jo, kind of an urban fantasy au with a very intriguing premise (sadly its very short, i’d love to see more if this ‘verse).

Clover, Flame - billie/mary, billie was always the reaper that showed up to take mary after her death(s) over the years.

Drag Me To Heaven - anna/ruby, a variant on the ‘last night on earth’ thing with dean.

Come Home* - jo/anna, canon-divergent au where anna is the new waitress at the roadhouse and helps jo set up a (probably not really) haunted house for halloween.

[neiptune]

ok so, sry for answering in the comments and continuing the conversation here, but the character limits in the comment section had me walking in circles (also sorry for the long text ahead, talking about books always has me rambling)

admittedly i had to google who ferrante is, but now that will definitely be a name i'll look out for the next time i'll go the library- do you have any recommendations? :))

i started regularly reading classics only about three (?) years ago bcs the ones that were written in english i wanted to read in their original language and it took me some time to grow confident enough in my english level to attempt to get through them (as you probably noticed english is not my native language😂) so I have a lot to catch up on!

what i read from dostoevsky i rlly liked (made the mistake to read anna karenina as my first russian novel when i was fifteen - took me some time to get back to russian literature after that)

as cliché as it is, i actually really enjoyed what i read of austen's novels as of now, i just started reading my first murakami so i'm excited to see what that will be like. not (exclusively) but in general i also really enjoy oscar wilde and ocean vuong's works, i have to read a lot for university so during the semester i started reading more short stories and poetry or just light romance or sometimes fantasy novels that don't need my full concentration. or i just reread some of my favourite novels when i was like 15/16 as comfort- what are your comfort books?

sorry againf for the loong text, i hope you have/ had a good day! :)

Please never ever apologize, I love getting messages in my inbox <3 Bonus points if related to books, I've been so excited to reply to this!!!

Yes I absolutely do have one suggestion: please read the my brilliant friend series. I know they're 4 books but after you finish the first one you're not gonna be able to stop: the writing is phenomenal and they have pretty much changed my life. The books tackle female friendship, childhood, competition, adulthood, the post-war stultifying culture of naples, class struggle and so much more in a way that will leave you gasping for air. If you decide to give them a go please let me know, I'd be so happy to hear your opinions! (not going into more detail otherwise this post is going to be 5 pages long lol)

I 100% couldn't tell you're not a native!!! Found myself being a lil jealous of how well spoken you are instead (obviously not a native either here haha) and I must say, I've always read a lot of classics, mostly english literature and mostly bc of school assignments! Lately I've been slacking, there are so many books I bought bc I wanted to enjoy them in their original language but eh, never really touched them again :( I miss being an avid reader and I hope to get back on track this year! I looooove murakami like I know he's problematic but his books have changed my life, especially norwegian wood! I must admit I only read pride and prejudice by austen and didn't like it, also never watched the movie, but I'm willing to give her another go through sense and sensibility eventually :) I'm also trying to step out of my comfort zone and read more fantasy, I really liked the priory of the orange tree and the ninth house! Anddd I also love horror so I should really explore it more, I absolutely love shirley jackson! NOW ONTO COMFORT BOOKS. I'm so sorry but harry potter will always bring comfort to me. JKR can absolutely get fucked but those books shall be held close to my heart forever, they just feel like home. I also non ironically loved the twilight books lmao I'd be absolutely willing to reread! I'm gonna add a few more to the list: little women, the pollyanna series, the hunger games, wuthering heights, the secret history, alice in wonderland, the secret garden and literally any goosebump!!! My turn to apologize for the long ass reply but books are a topic I love too much so I can hardly shut up 🥰

[audreydoeskaren]

Abridged history of early 20th century Chinese womenswear (part 3.3: 1920s-accessories, hair & makeup)

Source here

Previous posts in the series:

Part 1: 1890s

Part 2: 1900s & 1910s

Part 3.1: 1920s-silhouette

Part 3.2: 1920s-design details

Shoes

By the 1920s, foot binding was obsolete and increasingly rare, so most women had normal sized feet. In the first half of the 20s, women wore what seem to me like modernized versions of 19th century Chinese shoes, usually flat or low heeled pumps made of fabric or leather. These could be plain or decorated with light embroidery (in contrast to the heavy embroidery on shoes of the 19th century).

Source: lai yiching0926 on Pinterest

Ad from 1920

By around 1926 these were completely, utterly replaced by Western women’s shoes, which were usually mid or high heeled pumps or Oxfords (T straps did exist but were not common, please stop this stereotype immediately). These were characterized by pointed toes and curved heels. There are plenty of people on the Internet who understand historical Western women’s shoes better than me so please get this information from them.

Source here 

Late 20s/early 30s two toned pumps with a single strap.

Source: HA! Designs - Artbyheather on Flickr, link 

1925 Sears catalogue. Later 20s shoes would have higher and thinner heels though.

Accessories

Chinese and Western accessories were all socially acceptable and could be chosen depending on the person’s overall style and preference, much like in the previous three decades. Those who opted for a more modern Deco look could wear scarves, pearl necklaces and Western earrings. For a Chinese look, jade earrings, hairpins and flower headpieces could be worn, although these became less common in the 20s than they were in the 1910s. Jade earrings were really popular among all women in this era though. Wristwatches could be worn, replacing the pocket watches popular in the previous decades. Jewelry was, in general, just really popular.

Source here  

Scarves and earrings, notice the sun shaped beading.

Source here  

Pearl necklace.

Undergarments

As I mentioned earlier, Chinese women began wearing Western undergarments around this time and they were quite innovative in this period. Undergarments could have many different forms depending on which company they were produced by, but the most common options were either a slip dress/petticoat with thin straps or the combination of a camisole plus a pair of drawers. Some curvier Western women wore elastic girdles in this period to flatten their chests and bums in order to achieve the fashionable flat look, Chinese women did the same because the 1920s Chinese silhouette was also very flat and no emphasis was placed on the breasts whatsoever. The flat chested look has been in vogue since at least the Ming Dynasty and Chinese women had history of wearing breast binding undergarments to flatten their chests, so this trend conveniently continued into the 1920s until it became obsolete in the 30s. There is a great article on breast binding in China here, it’s in Chinese but I think Google translate works just fine :)

Source here  

1925 Butterick catalogue.

Source here

20s girdles/corsets for flattening the chest and bum.

Hair

I have minimal knowledge in hairstyling, but I can say with confidence that 1920s Chinese hairstyles were mostly contemporary Western hairstyles with Chinese touches. Short bobs were the most popular, including variations with bangs. Bangs could be continuous like those of Western women, or they could be a single section in the middle of the forehead. Side parts existed as well. More conservative women would keep their long hair and roll them into buns or rolls at the back. Toward the end of the 20s fingerwaves became increasing fashionable too.

Source here  

Short bob with continuous bangs.

Source here  

Long hair rolled back, with a section of bangs.

Source here  

Early 30s fingerwave.

Makeup

Visible makeup became more socially acceptable in the second half of the 20s, although it was still quite subtle by 21st century standards. China did have a long-running history of cosmetics manufacturing and women throughout Chinese history have used makeup, but in the early 20th century handmade Chinese cosmetics were not able to compete with the quality and quantity of chemically, industrially produced Western cosmetics anymore. Chinese women emulated Western makeup to match fashionable clothing and used products from Western companies. Visible makeup only became popular very recently in the West as well, so makeup companies were just beginning to innovate. A noteworthy trend was the thin, elongated eyebrows that required women to pluck their natural eyebrows and darken them. Red and mauve lipstick shades were quite popular, usually applied according to the natural shape of the lips, with the center being slightly plumper than the sides. Women applied light pink blush liberally in a large oval shape, eyeshadow of a similar hue to the blush could be used and it was also applied quite generously to the entirety of the eyelids. 

Source here 

Late 20s/early 30s look.

----

If you’ve made it this far I just want to say thank you for reading, it gives me so much motivation to write about this subject seeing that some people actually would like to know about it. There are a lot of things I need to verify about the 1930s so it may be a while until I could post part 4, but I will try to get it done as quickly as possible. Byeee

[thedeadhandofseldon]

The Anti-Mercer Effect

On the Accessibility of D&D, Why Unprepared Casters is so Fun, and Why Haley Whipjack is possibly the greatest DM of our generation.

(Apologies to my mutuals who aren’t in this fandom for the length of this, but as you all know I have never in my life shut up about anything so… we’ll call it even for the number of posts about Destiel I see every day.

To fellow UC fans - I haven’t listened to arc 4 yet, I started drafting this in early August, and I promise I will write a nice post about how great Gus the Bard is once I get the chance to listen to more of his DMing).

Structure - Or, “This is not the finale, there will be more podding cast”

So, first of all, let’s just talk about how Unprepared Casters works. Because it’s kind of unusual! Most of the other big-name D&D podcasts favor this long, grand arcs; UC has about 10 hours of podcast per each arc. And that’s a major strength in a lot of ways: it makes it really accessible to new listeners, because you can just start with the current arc and understand what’s going on!

And by starting new arcs every six or seven episodes, they can explore lots of ways to play D&D! Classic dungeon delve arc! Heist arc! Epic heroes save the world arc! Sportsball arc! They can touch on all sorts of things!

And while I’m talking about that: Dragons in Dungeons, the first arc, makes it incredibly accessible as a show - because it lets the unfamiliar listener get a sense of what D&D actually is. (It’s about telling stories and making your friends feel heroic and laugh and cry, for the record). If I had to pick a way to introduce someone to the game without actually playing it with them, that arc would definitely be it.

And I’d be remise not to note one very important thing: Haley Whipjack and Gus the Bard are just very funny, very charismatic people. Look. Episode 0s tend to be about 50%(?) those two just talking to each other about their own podcast. It shouldn’t work. And yet it DOES, its one of my favorite parts, because Haley and Gus are just cool.

And a side note that doesn’t fit anywhere else: I throw my soul at him! I throw a scone at him - that’s it, that’s the vibe. The whole podcast alternates between laughing with your friends and brooding alone in a dark tavern corner - but the laughs never forced and the dark corner is never too dark for too long.

Whipjack the Great - Or, the DM is Also a Player!

I think Haley Whipjack is one of the greatest Dungeon Masters alive. The plots and characters! The mechanical shenanigans! The descriptions!

Actually, let’s start there: with the descriptions. (Both Haley and Gus do this really fucking well). As we know, Episode 0 of each arc sees the DM reading a description - of a small town, or the Up North, or the recent history of a great party. And Haley always strikes this tricky balance - one I think a lot of us who DM struggle with - between giving too much description and  worldbuilding, and not telling us anything at all. She describes people and events in just enough detail to imagine them, but never so much they seem static and unreal - just clear enough to envision, but with enough vagueness left to let your imagination begin to run wild.

While I’m thinking about arc 3’s party, let’s talk about a really bold move she made in that arc: letting the players have ongoing control of their history. Loser Lars! She didn’t try to spell out every detail of this high-level party’s history, or restrict their past to only what she decided to allow - she gave them the broad outlines, and let them embellish it. And that made for a much more alive story than any attempt to create it by herself would have - but I think it takes a lot of courage to let your players have that agency. Most Dungeon Masters (myself included) tend to struggle with being control freaks.

And the plots! Yeah, arc one is built of classic tropes - but she actually uses them, she doesn’t get caught up in subverting everything or laughing at the cliches. And it’s fun! In arc 3, there really isn’t a straight line for the players to follow, either - which makes the game much more interesting and much trickier to run. And her NPCs are fantastic and I will talk about them in the next section.

Above all, though, I think what is really impressive is how Haley balances mechanics, and rules as written, with the narrative and rule of cool - and puts both rules and story in the service of playing a fun game. And the secret to that? She’s the DM, but the DM is a player, and the DM is clearly having fun. Hope Lovejoy mechanically shouldn’t get that spellslot back, but she does, and it’s fun. The changeling merchant in Thymore doesn’t really make some Grand Artistic Narrative better, but wow is it fun. And she never tries to force it one way or the other - the story might be more dramatic if Annie didn’t manage to banish the demon from the vault, but it’s a lot cooler and a lot more fun for the players if Annie gets to be a badass instead - and the rules and the dice say that Annie managed it.

Settings feel like places, NPCs feel like people, and the narrative plot feels like a real villainous plot.

Anyway. I could go on about the various ways in which Whipjack is awesome for quite a while - she’s right, first place in D&D is when your friends laugh and super first place is when they cry - but I’m going to stop here and just. Make another post about it some other time. For now, for the record I hold her opinions about the game in higher esteem than I do several official sourcebooks; that is all.

Characters - Or, Bombyx Mori Is Not an Asshole, And That Matters

Okay, I said I would talk about characters! And I will!

Just a general place to start: the party! All of the first three parties are interesting to me, because they all care about each other. Not even necessarily in a Found Family Trope sort of way, though often that too. But they generally aren’t assholes to each other. The players create characters that actually work together, that are interesting; even when there’s internal divisions like SK-73 v. Sir Mr. Person, they aren’t just unpleasant and antagonistic all the time. Listening to the podcast, we’re “with” these people for a couple hours - and it isn’t unpleasant. That matters a lot. (To take a counter-example: I love Critical Role, but the episode when Vox Machina pranked Scanlan after he died and was resurrected wasn’t fun to listen to, it was just uncomfortable and angering and vaguely cruel).

All of the PCs are amazing, and the players in each arc did a great job. If you disagree with me about that, well, you have the right to be incorrect and I am sorry for your loss. Annie Wintersummer, for one example: tragic and sad and I want to give her a hug, but also Fuck Yeah Wintersummer, and also her familiar Charles the Owl is the cutest and funniest and I love him. And we understand what’s going on with Annie, she isn’t some infinite pool of hidden depths because this arc is 7 episodes and we don’t have time for that, but she also has enough complexity to be interesting. Same with Fey Moss: yeah, a lot of her is a silly pun about fame that carries into how she behaves, but a lot of how she behaves is also down to some good classic half-elven angst about parenthood and wanting to be known and seen and important. (Side note: if your half-elf character doesn’t have angst, well, that’s impressive and also I don’t think I believe you).

There are multiple lesbian cat-people in a 4-person party and they both have requited romantic interests who aren’t each other. This is the future liberals want and I am glad for it.

Sir Mister Person, the human fighter! Thavius, the edge lord! Even when a character is “simple,” they’re interesting, because of how they’re played as people and not action-figures. And that matters a lot.

In the same way: the NPCs. There really aren’t a lot of them! And some of them come from Patreon submissions, so uh good work gang, you’re part of the awesomeness and I’m proud of you! The point being, the NPCs work because enough of them are interesting to matter. It’s not just a servant who opens Count Michael’s door, it’s a character with a name (Oleandra!) and a personality and history. They’re interesting. Penny Lovejoy didn’t need to be interesting, the merchant outside the Laughing Mausoleum didn’t need to be interesting, but they ARE! And Haley and Gus EXCEL at making the NPCs matter, not just to the story but to us as viewers. I agree with Sir Mister Person, actually, I would die for the princesses of the kingdom. I actually care about Gem Lovejoy of all people - that wouldn’t happen in an ordinary campaign! That’s the thing that makes Unprepared Casters spectacular - and, frankly, it’s especially impressive because D&D does not tend to be good at making a lot of interesting compared to a lot of other sorts of stories.

And, just as an exemplar of all this: Bombyx Mori. Immortal, reincarnating(?), and described as the incarnation of the player’s ADHD. I expected to hate Bombyx, because as the mom friend both in and out of my friend-group’s campaigns, the chaos-causer is always exhausting to me. And yeah, Bombyx causes problems on purpose! But! She is not an asshole.

And that’s important. Bombyx goes and sits with the queen and comforts her. Bombyx gives Annie emotional support. Bombyx isn’t just a vehicle to jerk around the DM and other players; Bombyx really is a character we can care about. To compare with another case - in the first couple episodes of The Adventure Zone, the PCs are just dicks. Funny, but dicks. Bombyx holds out an arm “covered in larva” to shake with a count, and robs him of magical items, but she also cares about her friends and other people! She uses a powerful magical gem to save her fertilizer guy from death! Yeah, Bombyx is ridiculous, but she’s not just an asshole the party has to keep around for plot reasons; you can see why her party would keep her around. And one layer of meta up, she’s the perfect example of how to make a chaotic character like that while still being fun for everyone you’re playing with, which is often not the case. And I love her.

The Anti-Mercer Effect - Or, “I think we proved it can be fun, you can have a good time with your friends. And it doesn’t have to be scary, you can just work with what you know”

The Mercer Effect basically constitutes this: Matthew Mercer, Dungeon Master of Critical Role, is incredible (as are all of his players). They’re all professional story-tellers in a way, remember, and so Critical Role treats D&D like a narrative art-form, and it’s inspiring. Seeing that on Critical Role sets impossible standards - and people go into their own home games imagining that their campaigns will be like Critical Role, and the burden of that expectation tends to fall disproportionately on the DM. And the end result, I think, of the Mercer Effect is that we get discouraged or intimidated, because our game isn’t “as good as” theirs. (And I should note - Matt certainly doesn’t want that to be our reaction).

So the Anti-Mercer Effect is two things: it’s D&D treated like a game, and it’s inspiring but not intimidating. And Unprepared Casters manages both of those really freaking well. Because they play it like a game! A UC arc looks just like a good campaign in anyone’s home game. They have the vibes of 20-somethings and college students playing D&D for fun because that’s who they are (as a 20-something college student who plays a lot of D&D, watching it felt like watching my friends play an especially good campaign). They’re trying to tell a good story, sure, and they always do. But first and foremost, they’re trying to have fun, and it shows, and I love the UC cast for it.

And that’s the other half of it: it’s inspiring! It’s approachable; you can see that Haley and Gus put plenty of work into preparing the game but it also doesn’t make you feel like you need hundreds of pages of worldbuilding to run a game. Sometimes a cleric makes Haley cry and she gives them back a spell-slot from their deity! That’s fantastic! It’s just inspiring - listening to this over the summer, when my last campaign had fallen apart under the strain of graduation, is why I decided to plan and run my new one!

That quote from Haley Whipjack that I used as the title for this section? That’s the whole core of this idea, and really, I think, the core of the podcast.

The Mercer Effect is when you go “that’s really cool, I could never do that.” But Unprepared Casters makes you look at D&D and go “wow, that looks really fun. I bet I can do that!” And I love the show for it.

And I bet a lot of you do too.