#i wanted to say st*les and its not like i dont like him im just so tired of him being everywhere sdhfhsdf

[whenlovepassesby]

Oh also top 5 TW characters, + was going to say ships but remembered I don’t think you like that many of them so when you run out of those just friendships/general dynamics

this one is actually so much harder because i have the last seasons (aka everything after season 3 a & b) so blurry but tbh it doesnt even matter because that was tw's peak so lol

allison, this was a surprise during rewatch but i actually ended liking her more i think crystal reed is a factor because shes lovely and pretty but anyways

lydia, we've talked about her and her actress that i wont name. i still like lydia in concept a lot

kira, the reason why shes so low is because she was heavily underutilized and did her too dirty for me to have her as a favorite but im very fond of her

malia and scott, i've lost fondness of most of the characters so these two share a spot. scott was underrated in his own show but he was always a sweet dude to me and malia was done dirty and was HATED so obviously i had to love her

sorry this is a little underwhelming because my brain just decided to not care much about this show which is sad because i had so much fun rewatching it last year i think it was because i wanted to do anything besides studying and trashy tv is always welcome

[dont-justdont]

im writing this as i rewatch the episode again with much more attention and i give yall all the little details to look for (in chronological order, im literally pausing the episode as i go to write this down)

- on lestats first appearance, he holds a blue book (from what i read basically a register of all the prostitutes in the district)

- when paul arrives he tells louis the birds told him to come "but also one voice" and then louis cuts him off, i believe that voice is lestat (he appears on screan a few seconds later

- the mayfair reference at the diner table during breakfast

- he refers to his homosexuality before we even see lestat (when he arrives after going to church with his brother)

- the sazerac (the drink louis orders) is a classic new orleans' cocktail and is said to embody it's richness very well, started getting popular in the 1800's and then some more in the beginning of the 1900's

- the whole "your name is louis, of course it's louis" because lestat is french (although there might be something deeper than that but idk, im thinking it's because it's the name of the king from the time lestat was around in france (louis xvi) but it seems far-fetched, any thoughts?)

- when he talks about settling there, he looks at miss lily and goes "but there's the food" aka im a vampire (not very hard to tell but i thought id add it to the list) also can we appreciate louis' face during that interaction he seems so done

- lestat wanted to go to st louis at first (maybe thats way the whole name thing) which was one of the most developed cities in america at that time

- i cannot find the name of the song that the man is singing (the one who puts out the lights) and its driving me crazy. if anyone wants to search, it goes something like (on parlait raymond, raymond... aller simon, simon... lui parlait titi, titi... tomber dans le chagrin... elle lui parlait titi, titi... elle est tombée dans le chagrin... and i cant for the life of me comprehend what he says during the last line sorry) im not 100% sure about those because of the english accent (french is my first language) but yeah if you find it please tell me im dying to know

- at the poker table they mention the murders take place near decatur, which is a street where there was a shooting (in 1910). from what i read the whole thing was discriminatory and there was like a strong anti-immigrant sentiment and everything

- the black star line (the company on the tickets louis gives his sister) is a black led company that was made to encourage black people to participate in the economy as they were often left out (from what im reading it was mostly a shipping company so im confused about that one but yeah), apparently it started in 1919 so im also confused about that

- the sister's husband is levi freniere, referencing the freniere family in the book (babette's family)

- lestat's past being referenced at diner (although that's not really a detail)

- THE SAVAGE GARDEN REFERENCE

- the song he composed for nicolas:( "infinite beauty and sensitivity" yes yes yes yes yes

- SOMEONE TELL ME WHY LOUIS LEGS ARE CLEAN SHAVED IN DYING OVER HERE

- when tap dancing louis and paul set the rhythm before the musicians play (which is normal i guess but a nice touch)

- before louis and paul watch the sunset, we see two glasses : one full and standing, one on the side that seems shattered (foreshadowing hehe)

- louis didnt grow up in the house he lives in, they moved in when he was 7 (i just did a little math on the number of days they had been in the house), im wondering where he grew up

- im so so glad paul didnt die after an argument and instead sort of made peace with louis (although it took me by surprise since i was expecting a fight)

- "lily was a poor substitute" aka he killed her

- not a detail but can we talk about jacob anderson's acting in little confession box thingy (i dont know the term) because DAMN that man is talented

- "i give death to those deserving" aka lestat being lestat and only killing the bad people (although i dont believe lily deserved it)

- lestat's pupils stop being dilated when he gives his little speech to louis meaning he doesnt talk like that out of hunger/arousal but out of desperation/love

- louis' complexion goes grayish when he's drained of blood but it comes back

- lestat is missing a nail when he's down on the floor with his hand on his stomach (that's not important for the plot i just found it funny)

- THE BLOOD TEAR

okay now that was a terribly long post and im sorry about it, i just enjoy seeing all the work put into this show and thought id share the little things i notice, i hope yall are doing well byyye

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 50

[Date: 25/02, 6.59 PM - 25/02, 07.51 PM GMT]

[‘Puppet’ from the Ib OST is playing in the VC.]

fetch: “:)”

Prince: “Oh! Crown said this was a good song! He says it reminds him of being a kid again! Don't you guys think so?

:)”

fetch: “YOU RE R I GHT PR INCE ! TH IS JS A VE R Y G OOD S ONG .” [You’re right Prince! This is a very good song.]

Prince: “I like it! It makes me feel all happy inside :)”

fetch: “TH OUG H ITS A L ITT LE F AST ER TH AN WH AT I U SUALL Y L IS TE N TO . N IG HT COR E HA AHA AHA .” [Though it’s a little faster than what I usually listen to. Nightcore haahaaha.]

Prince: “It is a little fast, but it's very nice :D”

Prince: “It makes me kinda sleepy :) How about you, fetch? :)”

fetch: “I GU ESS A L I TT LE HA HAA . B UT I GOT PL ENTY OF SL EE P LAS T N IGH T!” [I guess a little hahaa. But I got plenty of sleep last night!]

IM SO ENE ER GIZED AND R E ADY FO R THE D A Y” [I’m so energized and ready for the day]

donti: “Isn’t too much sleep a little bad for someone?”

Prince: “I don't think so :) It's nice to sleep. You don't have to think about all the things that might be stressing you out :)”

fetch: “I AG REE PR INC E . SL EE P IS NNI CE B UT D OGS CA NT S LE EP ALL D A Y ! THAT S A CAT TH ING TO DO L OL” [I agree, Prince. Sleep is nice but dogs can’t sleep all day! That’s a cat thing to do lol]

[‘No One in Sight’ from the Ib OST starts playing on loop]

fetch: “N OT AS G OOD AS THE LA ST ONE B UT S TILL A BOP” [Not as good as the last one but still a bop]

Prince: “Oh! This one is nice, too! Relaxing, like you’re outside listening to the breeze~”

Prince: “I can put on the other one again! :D”

[fetch: “ HM . TH ANF YOU PR INCE BU T I LIKE VA RIE TY SOM E TIME S :)” [Hm. Thank you, Prince, but I like variety sometimes]]

Prince: “Oh, ok :)”

fetch: “IM H APP Y TO SEE C R OWN ANS W E RIN G T H IN GS! YO U M UST BE H APPY T O O” [I’m happy to see Crown answering things! You must be happy too]

[donti: How had your day been so far Prince, while you’re here? This music really gets me in a convering mood.]

Prince: “It's been great! everything is fine :)“

fetch: “TH AT S GOO D :D” [That’s good :D]

[donti: Thats nice to know! How’s everyone in the court doing?”]

Prince: “Everyone is doing well :D i miss Knight, though... He hasn't been around in a while.”

fetch: “AW SADGE D: I H OPE Y OU F IND Y OUR KN IG HT BUD D Y SOON !” [Aw Sadge D: I hope you find your Knight buddy soon!]

[donti: Oh no! did something happen? Do you know where he is?

Prince: “No... He just... Went away one day... Crown said he'll find him for us and bring him home again, though, so it's ok! :)“

fetch: “AW HA HA HA H OW N ICE OF. H IM :) :) :)” [Aw hahaha how nice of. him]

[‘BGM008′ from the Ib OST starts playing]

[Povas: “Where did you last see knight?”]

Prince: “Um...Here, I think :)”

fetch: “O H G OOD SON G [Oh good song]

TH IS MAK ES THE FUN NY PIA NO T INK Y NOIS E” [This makes the funny piano tinky noise]

Prince: “I like the tinky noise too! :D”

Povas: “Why is it giving me a sense of dread?”

fetch: “I DK WHA T YOU M EAN BY D R EAD :/ ? IT S OUND S F INE TO M E !” [Idk what you mean by dread :/? It sounds fine to me!]

Prince: “Yeah! I think it's lovely! :)”

Povas: “It might just be me”

fetch: “PR OBAB LY Y OU LOL :D” [Probably you lol :D]

[donti: “Hm, change of music aside, whatcha been up to?”]

Prince: “Not much has been happening :) I just like to listen to music here. You can't be sad if there's nothing to make you upset, you know? :)”

[fetch [responding to donti]: “WH O ME ? OR PR INC E ?” [Who, me? Or Prince?]

donti: “Either or! I care about both of you :D”

fetch: “OH IM D OI NG GR E AT :D APP A RE NT LY M I SS E D D INN E R LA S T N IGHT SO M ONA (G OOD GO OD F RIEND MO NA) L EFT OUT A BR EA KF AS T FOR M E TO M UN CH WHI LE SHE WE NT TO W O RK” [Oh I’m doing great :D Apparently missed dinner last night so Mona (good good friend Mona) left out a breakfast for me to munch while she went to work]

[fetch: “HAV E BEEN VE RY TH IRST Y SO D RINK ING W AT ER” [Have been very thirsty so drinking water]]

Prince: “That's good! Drink plenty of water and eat plenty of food and get plenty of sleep! Crown would want you at your best :D”

fetch: “Y E AH :) TO AST WITH RO SE PET AL J AM M M  AND GO OD C E R EAL” [Yeah :) toast with rose petal jammm and good cereal]

[‘The Little Doll's Dream’ from the Ib OST starts playing]

fetch: “OO OO O GUITAR R R [ooooo guitarrr]

I LI KE GU IT AR” [I like guitar]

[donti: Prince, you have a very wide range of music in here! Where did you find so many songs?”]

Prince: “Oh, i just like to listen to a lot of things! These songs are from a game called Ib! You should play it :)“

[fetch: “IT I S A VER Y F UN G AME ! GARRY IS MY F AVOR I TE CH AR ACTER” [It is a very fun game! Garry is my favorite character]]

Prince: “Garry is my favorite, too! he's so nice! :D”

Bea (she/her): “I've heard of that game before. What's it about?”

[fetch: “A G IRL GO ES TO AN A RT ME USE UM AND THE N SHI T GE TS F UCKED LOL PAI NTINS COM E TO L IFE N S H JT” [A girl goes to an art museum and then shit gets fucked lol]]

Prince: “I guess... But i'd describe it a little differently...”

[”Inquiry” from the Ib OST starts playing]

fetch: “I M EAN AIN T THAT WH AT HAP PENS LOL” [I mean ain’t that what happens lol]

Prince: “A girl named Ib goes to an art exhibit and ends up in finding herself inside a painting! She meets a nice man named Garry and they have to make their way out together! There's lots of different endings and lots of puzzles! :)”

fetch: “MY DE S C RI PT ION W AS BE T TER LOL” [My description was better lol]

donti: “Oh! So its not a horror game?”

Prince: “It can be a little scary sometimes, but it's not terrible :)”

fetch: “ANYW AY NIC E B OPS IM GONNA GO EA T THE R ES T OF THE ROSE PETAL JAM :) Y UM BY E G UYS DONT FOR GET TO AS K CR OW N TH IN GS” [Anyway nice bops I’m gonna go eat the rest of the Rose Petal Jam :) Yum bye guys don’t forget to ask Crown things]

[donti: Alright! What other games do you play?]

Prince: “Lots of games! I like Skyrim, Overwatch, Undertale and Minecraft the most, though! :D”

[donti: “thats awesome! I like Minecraft too! I also play Pokemon and some rhythm games :D”]

Prince: “Ooh, what's your favorite Pokemon? i like Mimikyu and Ditto the most! :)”

donti: “Gengar and Joltik! the Mareep line is also pretty cool!”

Prince: “Oh, I have to get going! Crown's asking to see me :)

Bye bye! :D”

[bloojayoolie]

Af, Anime, and Apparently: , Okay Ibl, story ame when I wss younger, had this Irish friend who pred our school when w as like 17, Dude ded recently nd here丐the ballad of the merveeus bsstard be average as fuck 17 year old Bribong Some foreign guy has just joined, his family just moved here city called Dery in Mgved here with his dad and his lite sister, his mum died when he was younger He gets put in my class and ends up stting nest to me This is howl met Eigh-Beers Mgee the all him Call him a hippo because of his fucking industrial size frant teeth and his big flucking lps Greg uses his adism to get out of doing and saying whatever the fuck he wants noing EB wth she lke Greg has his desk very paricularly arranged, pens on one side in a straight ine pencis on the other Dude is OCD as fuck with his pencilcase and shit Goes nuts i anything gets moved, so this desk is sightly apart from everyone elses We all get in shit twe fuck with him an purpose, We ought to know better The sutistic hippo keeps trying to get a reaction out of EB the whole class All af a sudden EB just casualy raises a foot and pushes the Hppo's desk right the fuck over Teacher hurries oer and trying to explan to EB atma Gregs autism while Greg teaks the tack G in his chair, breathing reawy ss thoug gh nong bd sheer辍tstie resentment EB looks at Greg and betsthe teacher "Oh sorry, wedant have Wid bump with more nenhinbeland' h on EB's third day at our school He's a pretty cool guyikes the 쑈me vidya and movies as me and is a big fan of Rugby, was captan of his team back iieland ell hem the school has s rughy searn he says EB goes to check it out, starts off on the lower team because hes think theyire ston of kind of fast runners gets recks fucking everyone that next hal f hel take him Jumps on him, grabs him by the neck to pull him down and iterally rolls on him ike a fucking rolling pn -EB didniteven have the bal What the fook you playin at son I didnt even have the ball, do you even know how to fookin play the game lad EB grins You know over in Ireland you have to be fit to play sports, the fatties get leit on the sideline EB grabs his amn and tosses him to the ground dude twists his anke or something and starts twitching and squeaking lke a baby elephant with parkinsons EB gets put on top team Anonymous (D wHTHOgC) 03 19/14(Wedj20 28 25 UTC-5 No 538041137 Reple 41T months without inc dont give long as youre cool to him dents aside from a few close cals with Greg the Mildly Autistic Hppo e pretty close Apparently ㅲ Ireland they don't have gangs they have paramitanes fighting between whether Northern lreland ts Britsh or hsh >He plays 4down a kal, bd ican tell some shit mu have Pagpened because he always changes the subject when gets clos·tohame Edgy fapgot Luke comes back to school Luke hangs around with a pack of riggers who are all apparenty in a gang, he les to pretend he's part of this "gang" and carries this fucking Stanky e around that he panted red and bue for some reason aOne day at lunch Like corries up to EBied o ofnotere starts askrig his datisalcoholc Nope aound Tm guessin your mam had a far lew belore you were born though mate Well tuck Ind wanna sift speI had to sht out a dat bastardlke yourset. Jog on ン"You win t)4ck with the wrong person t y inst, boy?" EB starts laughing, IHeraly loses his sht at the ste of this Itle fagpot in a trenchc oat with a stanley knfe and actualy presses EB grabs his wrist, takes the fabled blade from the hands of the chosen one tosses t over a fence and punches him straight in the face We're out geting beer, Tm with a 7/10 GT that Ive had a crush on for tucking months Her and EB get along realy wel, athough I sort of think she only hung out with us because EB did That right when we're all drunk, me and QT end up fucking Leaving out my side because this is the ballad of Eght Beer, not me Spend ages taking with QT,estabǐshthat shè apparenty seat, ikes me back EB heads up to bed, I stay down with the other guys to watch TV, QT was askeep when 1 came down QT comes running do wwith a towel round her, soaking wet, and rung out the ont door Apparently EB sleeps naked, not surpnised since Ive found him naked before after a night of drinking Says she came on to himeven ater all he shit she said aLaugh숨 and says he took aprt to bed with hm,awas cn e tablo and when she ed onwth him he lossed all over her Threw her clothes out the wendow into the rain and told her to go and fetch Two weeks later he takes me to a pub and hooks me up with a 910 Anonymous (TDwHT HOC) 03/1914(Wed 20.43 59 UTC-5 No 538044014 Raps.4380408044772 332420 EB and me are total bros after being fnends for a few years 가%aving hm as a best friend is Ike havngtose nasty trainers as a kid Shit get pretty he avy >Him and E汨were close, mostly because EB would buy him vidya and act super interested in the anime sht he lied because nobody else other than me would loses his har chermo aGotovst him, EBisgung me there >He thinks rs awesome get our photo taken together witout any har EB lets him draw all kinds of dumb sh on his bad head, lets him draw a dumb moustache on him o Spend ages just dicking a >Son of a bitch luke who R is, Dukey the Rookie is across the bar in the same tucking trenchcoat he wore back at school >EB says hi chats away to him lbe nothing ever happened >We head home and EB spend the night sitting up with me playing Batlefront on my old P52 and drinking, just trying to cheer me up me every time Sorry for that 2sad4me post, but iti make sense later Anonymous (IO woitth%) 05/19/14(Wed)20 52 46 UTC-5 No 530045357 Reeses 씌38amsrme esaaa Lving together in a let with some chick and her boyfriend The one song I remember is "Uncle Tommy by The Rumjacks, because it played when sht went down EB told them that he "ain't lookin any trouble lads, have a beer and forget that tripe for the night aye? 4 of them jump on him, start beating the shit out of him -l tackle one of them to try help him, get the fuck beaten out of me but fuck that it's goddamn E8 in there EB broke the dudes fucking am He gets up, bleeding out of every pore in his beaunful iwish body Bouncing around with his fists up, Ieraly looks ike he could fly around the room he's bouncing that much The skinheads keep going for him but back off every time aher he swings, it looks lke he could knock a building down with that sh Babbling some incoherent shit in lrish rage, nobody understands the words but everyone understands the meaning pack up there sht ike a scene from a fucking move Eight tucking beersl You splied eight of me fucking beers you hairless tuckin mongrels Eight beers lad, eight fucking beers What's the fucking craic there lke Anonymous (D: wHTiHOgC) 031914(Wed]21:6 02 UTC-5 No. 538047326 EB sgoing back to Ireland to vist his nan, she's real sick 기we lar dr, Befast-thritrs the captal of the oth but not of Ireland ckhow t wori ed EB never eaty expla edit, 5ad you wont understand the bullsh politics unless you grew up there go 1o vist his nan with EB' Sweetest tucking old lady ever, says that EB was always a rough lad but awk he'd never hurt a sour greedy fucker This woman is clearly the most infuenial famly member in the Eight Beer famly EE shows me round Derry, tels me about how 5pIt relgusy and shows methes bg ass wall cood place Takes me to Belast agan and shows methe pace wherethe ttanc was bu -we end up going to place caled The Crown Bar Ger pretty drunk, or Tpped as EB calls it Walked around Belfast for a bt, he tells me about the history of some stuf »Spend a few nights there, have a fucking blast but decide to head home don't wanna be an inrusion on the whole nan stustion Lad you're practicaly a part of the famly Anonymous D wH7HOQC) 03/19/14Wd21 18 48 UTC-5 No 538040230 Getting close to the end now Shits hard to wrte, I miss hat fucker Life is prety uneventful for a wle pparentty some Kiddy Fiddler called Wilm Whight fucked EB when totally agan family home a load of sht, fucks 2EB spends all nut there next to her, nearly gets wolent when staff ask harto leave so doctors can sort some 닸官out calm him down and we wat r, hosptzd for brig bme B's Sister gets beter, but is pretty fucked for life Never taks never leaves the house she's pretty much a goddarmn vegetable EB spends all of his time off work with her, never comes out anymore, just sts in with her. We sometimes come ound and drink with him but he refuses to leave the house -One night while he's sieeping, EB's fucked up sister C's faul, that's pretty much the main subject of t. I don't get why she'd need to say that but whabever Tels me he waan't that close with his family back home his dad is fucked up with grief and everythings just a mess ie doesn't want to go home because he has nothng there other than remnders, but doesn't want to stay here because of what has pened Does his best to be the usual bi9dck coolguy that he always was, puts on a brave face but f you c h him on his own he's luckn9 merable ite gets in 갠 few fights when we're ot dmkrg ry one who gnestmamy 5hvt gets m edistety fucking amidated none ofths ads everyone on" that he used to do s fighting back tears already guessed, but he starts teling me about how he blames himseffor what 거had pened to his sis have tucking known better >Lterally carrot change his mid anthis shit, looks like he has himse#1uly convinced th this is his taut we talk about old imes laugh a be things actualy seem back to normal for whie Ainight mabe. Let's have one for old tme's sake, ae? Hie eventualily leaves, but before he goes he tells me that 'You've been a good mate from day one mate. Honestly out on a limb rd do fuckin' anything for ya Take t easy lad speti ong tme EB doesn't reply to teats or Cutign place doeant answer B tucking hung himsel is fanly tatoo many things that I don't need thanked every tme fucker

[poeplepound]

!!! i !!!! love these guys so much!! theyre so spectacular omfg !

also i tried to do this once already ! and i was very far into a very long info dump about these guys and i was ALmost done ,,, and my browser crashed, but im doing it again anyway because i need it (i might make typos and sound like a bum jus btw)

sean bonnette and benjamin gallaty started releasing musci together in 2005 after having worked together in a coffeeshop in pheonix arizona - sean was 18, and the buds released their debut album “candy cigarettes and cap guns” and have since released four other full albums, a handful of singles, two eps, and a compilation

sean has a bachelors degree in social work, and has always been working in homeless shelters, volunteering with youth programs, and trying to give a voice to one of the largest groups of stigmatized humans on our planet

candy cigarettes and cap guns was released when sean (30 y/o) was only 18 - and he has since recieved lots of negative feedback on offensive content in ajj’s older songs - to this, sean apologizes but says , quite frankly , that he was a yung edgy boi at that time in his life, and even if his music was offensive then , it represents a time in his life and hes not going to let its content discount that relevance

this is similar to how ajj changed their name from “Andrew jackson jihad”, sean and ben publicly decided to stop using the old band name because they aren’t muslim and have to right to use the term jihad as a part of an aesthetic - neither of the guys expected ajj to get so big, and andrew jackson jihad was adequate for a yung edgy boi garage band

ajjs vast discography centers around themes of social anxiety, privilege, depression, mania, loving how horrible life is, making the most of nothing, being nothing, and how wonderful our shitty planet is

ajj is considered folk-punk, and to a certain degree i agree with that, but to me music genres are irrelevant, and often times musicians fail to fit a category

the idea of organizing music by genres is restricting to a musician and songs and music grow as people do.  in an interview with verbicide, sean said that he acknowledges ajj’s influence on “folk punk” but how the identification of what folk-punk actually is is very vague and unclear, what really Is folk-punk?

ajj has albums that are way more based in folk music, and some that are way more based in punk - some songs are very poppy, some kind of choral in nature - but somehow, ajj has a very cohesive, recognizable sound that never fails to impress and comfort me

this is in part to sean’s wonderful lyrics, they are so very very raw and uncut - he is incredibly relatable while staying poetic, and i admire that So Much.  his use of metaphor in his lyrics has alwasy been apparent, but even more so in his more recent albums, and his political commentary songs are more prevalent in older songs - but they stay SO RE l AT a b LE !! every time i listen to ajj, i feel so whole and accepted and like im listening to my deepest internal thoughts and feelings in the form of beautiful lyrics and entrancing music

when asked if sean’s lyrics are a reflection of a darkness inside of him, he usualyl replies by saying that hes no darker than anyone else is - he just has a way to express and expel that darkness.  after the release of knife man, sean was asked if his emotional songs were about his past and what he’s been through as a person, and hes replied by saying that a lot of what he sings about is stuff that hes seen through his job, and learned about through people he’s met and interacted with.

shortly before christmas island was recorded, sean’s grandfather passed away.  his grandpa had lived with him from the time he was 13 tot he time he was 18, and he was a very major male role model in his life.  christmas island has lots of imagery around death, and a lot of the songs on the album personify grief and death.  sean has said that christmas island is an album about “pre-grief” meaning the way that people feel bad about death and grieve loses before theyve even happen, just beause they know theyre coming.  sean’s grandfather’s death was not unexpected or sudden, and he died very happily - surrounded by all of his grandchildren, and the feeling of knowing someone you love will die shortly is what fueled a lot of the tone of christmas island.

sean is a big big fan of 90′s hip hop, and a lot of his lyrics and writing style is heavily influenced by his favorites - aesop rock, brother lynch hung, biggie, and ol dirty bastard (seriously sean is SO Iconic)

i’ve been listening to ajj since their release of “knife man” in 2011, i could never pick a favorite album of theirs  - i love each of them and theyre each incredibly important to me

their 2007 album “people who can eat people are the luckiest people in the world” gave me a completely new worldview , and showed me that the world is incredibly imperfect, and humans are incredibly imperfect, but life is so worth living, and there is still so much good amazing stuff in the world

in 2008 they released the ep “plant your roots” and in 2009 “cant maintain” - both of theses eps were the first time i had found relatable emotional music that felt so accurate to myself - it was raw, it was unapologetic, it was beautiful, and it was sad.  these eps have an incredible tone, and theyre both so different (cant maintain being more light and - dare i say - playful) but still so connected and deeply rooted (pun intended ;) ) in my head as near perfect expressions of my feelings

“knife man” was released in 2011 and it came into my life at a time where i was trying to learn about myself and discover who i was, and this album guided me in such a strong positive direction - it introduced me to white privilege, taught me about forgiveness, how to be unapologetically me, but still let me stay in touch with my dark, cynical, pessimistic side of myself - knife man is somehow so negative but still so positive and i think thats how a lot of real life is, and ajj captures that incredibly well 

knife man was the first ajj show i ever saw, and i will never forget how captivating sean is when he preforms, his body language and his expressions reflect so much of what he’s singing, theyre so true

in 2014 they released “christmas island” and im not gonna lie when i first heard it i really didnt like it - i thought it was too poppy, and not raw enough like how ajj usually is - it felt wrong to me.  but alas, i kept listening, and i soon fell in love with this album.  it is indeed poppier than their other stuff, and when it came out in may of that year, i didnt really want to like it that much - and so i avoided it, and once Taylor Swift’s super poppy 1989 came out that october, i avoided it Even Harder because i felt like 2014 would be the year of great musicians selling out to labels to gain hits.  eventually, i let myself sink into christmas island - i allowed myself to like it, and boy o boy did i fall in love. i saw the show and i cried. the album seamlessly ties together themes from older albums - optimism, death, unrest, self-loathing - but it introduces a new style to seans words - theyre less direct, less blunt, less in-your-face , he starts using metaphors that dont make sense the first time you listen, his lyrics take on a new type of poetry on this album - and its beautiful

christmas island is softer, its more about introspection and knowing why youre the way you are - its about emotional intelligence - this album taught me how to know whats happening, and how to accept it and learn form it and let myself dream and live, despite how shitty stuff is, and i love it.

in 2016 “the bible 2″ was released, and i waited to listen to any of it until i went to see the show - i binged the album twice through right before i went to see them, and i had really really mixed feelings about it - some of the songs i didnt understand, i didnt like the sound of some of them, and i felt like they got very preachy.  once i saw them play the song “small red boy” though, i was 110% hooked - it suddenly made sense to me as an album.  the sound is so personal to me, and i connect with the radio static and the messy raw noise, and the lyrics take on such a poetic, innocent tone, and all the songs are equal parts inspiring, funny, and dark.  i really really really truly love this album.

this is kind of just a silly extra, but in 2015 they released a single called “keep on chooglin” and i honeslty dont understand what most of the song means, but its really a bop and its poppy and upbeat and positive, and i can gather that basically to “choogle” is to be yourself unapologetically and just do your own thing and basically fucc the haters, and its a nice song to listen to if youre feeling down because the lyrics are funny and the message is bright

ajj’s discography has gotten me through some of the hardest years of my life, and have seriously, literally, kept me from killing myself on so many occasions and i am forever grateful - if i had not stayed alive until now, i would miss so much and i would throw away my life, just because i didnt feel like making it, and now i can say in full confidence that this band has ridded me of all my suicidal ideation , and if anyone is down here reading this, im gonna make an ajj “dont die” playlist that i Will post here

in 2012, ben gallaty recorded a couple songs under the name wiccan babysitter, adn then a few years later (2016) he recorded a few more under the name benjamin galaxy - he compiled these songs in 2016 onto an lp, one side being the wiccan babysitter ep and the other being the ben galaxy ep.  i didnt know this was a thing until recently? which is weird? but i have listened through the lp many times - i still dont have a strong grip on what the songs mean, but i can say that the wiccan babysitter/benjamin galaxy lp is super comforting to me as well.  the sound is unique and different from ajj, but it is still warm and whole feeling, and the lyrics are still relatable to me, and i want to read more about what ben wrote about and why, but im having trouble finding info on this project

im mostly done for now, it’s very late at night, and i have work tomorrow morning, but i’ll leave u with this - youre an irreplaceable human soul with your own understanding of what it means to suffer, and thats a huge bummer

[mariopennis]

bee movie script but crytyped

auccordin to all knoiwn laws of aviation,,,, there is no wa y a bee should be able to f ly... its wings are too sm all to get its fat liuttle body OFF the ground...... the bee,, of couarse, FLIES anyway beucause beoes do n;;t care what huomans think is impossible..... yellow, black.... yellow,,,, blaccckkk.... yellow,,, black...... yellow,,,, black...... ooh, black and yellow!!!!!! let;s shake it up a LITTLE. barry!!!! breakfastt is read y!!! oo miung!!!! hang on a second.. hello??? - barry???? - adam???? - oannn u believe this is happening????? - i can;;t.... illl pick u up.... lookin sharrrp.... use the s tairs... your father paid good money for those... sorry..... i;m excited.. heres the graduate.... we;;re very proud of you, son.... a perfecttt report ccard,,,, aull b;s.... very proud...... ma!! i got a thin goin here.... - u got lint on your fuzz...... - ow!!!!! tthat;s me!!!!! - wave to us!!!!! we;;ll BE in rowww 118,,,000.... - bbbye!!!! barry, i told you,, stop flyin in the houuse!!! - hey,,,, adam.. - hey,,,, b arry.... - is thhat fuuzz gel????? - a litt le..... special day,, graduatioan..... never though t i;;;dd make it.... three d ayss g rade school,, three days high school.... those were awkward.... th reee days college.... i;m glad i t ook a day annnd hitch hike d arouand the HIVE. u did comeo back different..... - hi,, barry..... - artie,, growin a mustache???? looks good.. - hear aobout frankie???? - yeah.... - u goin to the funeral???? - NO, i;m nnot going... everybody knnnows,, stin someone, u diea.... dont waste it oon a squiurrel..... succch a hothead.... i guess he could have just gotten out of the way.... i love this incorporating an amusemen t park inntto our day.. that;;;s why we dont need vacations... boy,, quite a bit of pomp............ undeor THE circumstances... - well,,, adam, todauy we are mmmen...... - we are!!!!!! - bee-men...... - amen!!!!! hhallel ujah!!!! students,,,, faculty,, diustinguished bees,,,, pls welcome dean buzzwell...... welcome,, new hive oity graduatin class of......... ..........9:15.... th at conncludees ourr cere moniesss...... and begins your career at honex industries!!!!! wil l we piack ourjobb toda y???? i heard it;s just orientation... heiads up!!!! here wwwe go.... keep your hands anddd antennas inside the tram at all times... - wonder what it; ll be like??? - a littlle sscary.. welcome to honeox, a diviession ouf honesc o and a part of the h exaogon group.... tthis is it!!!! wow.. wow.... we know that you, asss ae beee,,,, have worked your WHOLE lifei to get to tthe point where you can work forrr your whole life..... honey begins when our valiant pollen jocks brin the nectar to the hive... our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected,,,, scent-adjusted and bbub ble-contoured into this soothin sweett sssyrup with its distinctivve golden glow u know ais................. honey!!!! - that gierl was hot.... - she;;;s my cousin!!!!!! - she ii s?????? - yes,,, weo;;re all cousins.... - riught..... you;;;re right.... - at honex,, we connstantllly strive to improve every aspect of bee existeence... ttthese bbee s are stress-testing a new helmet technology.... - whaet do u think he makes????? - not enough.... here wea have our latest aedvancement,, t he krelman..... - what does that do????? - oatc hes that littlea strand of honey that hangs after u poiur it..... saves us mmmillions...... oan anyonea work onn the krelman???? of course... moost beee jobs are small ones.... but bees KNOW thaat every small job, if its done well,, means a lot... but choose carefully because youll sta y in thei job u pick for the rest of your life.... the same job the rest of your life?? i didnnn;;t knnnow that.... what;;s the differeence???? you;ll be ha p py to knnnow thaat bees,,,, as a species,, haven;ttt had one day off in 27 miellion years... so youll just work us to death???? we;ll sure try... wow!!! that blew my mind!!!! "what;s the differrence???" how can u say that???? one job foreuver???? that;;s an insane choice to haiv e to make...... i;;m rellieevved.... now we only have t o make one DECISION in life..... but,,, adam, how could thhhey neaver ha ve TOLD us that?? why would u question anything???? we;;ree bees.... we;;;re the most perfectly functioenin society on earth..... u ever thinnnk maybe things w ork a little too wellll here???? like what????? give me one example.. idk... but u know wha t im talkin about..... pls c lear THE gate.... royal NECTAR force on approach.... wait a SECOND. oheck it out... - hey,, those are po llen jocks!!!! - wow.... i;;ve never SEEN them this closeo.... they know what it;s like outside the hive.. yeah,,,, but some doant come back..... - hey,, jocks!!! - hi,,,, jocks!!!! u guys did great!!!! yo u;;ree monsters!!!!! you;re sky freaks!!!! i love IT! i love it!!!!!! - i wonddeur wherea theuy were... - idk.... their days not planned...... outside the hive,, flyin who knows wherrre,, doin who knows what.. u ca n;;tjjust decide to be a pollen joccck.... u have too be bred for that.... right.... look.. thats more pol len tha n u and i will see in a l ifetimmme... it;;ss just a staotus symbol.... bees MAKE toeo much of it.. perhaps... unless YOU'RE wearin it an d the laedies see u wearin it..... thoase ladies???? aren;;;t they our cousins too???? distant..... diustant...... look at these two..... - oouple of hieve harrys..... - lets have fun with THEM. it must be dangerrous bein ao pollennn joack..... yeah.... oonce a bear piinn ed me again st a mmushroo m!!!! he had a paw on my throat,,,, and with the other,, he was slappin me!! - ooh, my!!!!! - i NEVER thhhought iddd knock him out.. what were u doin durin this????? tryin to al ert the authorities.... i can autogrrap h that..... a little gusty out there today,,,, was n;;t it,,,, comraides????? yeah... gusty... we;;r e hiottin a SUNFLOWER patch six miles ffrom here tomorrrow...... - six mioles, huh????? - barry!!!!! a pudd le jump for us, bu t maybe you;;re nnnot up for it...... - maybei i am.... - u are not!!! we;;re goin 09 00 at j-gate... what do u think,, buzzy-bo y????? are u bbbeea enough???? i mightt bbe..... it all depends on what 0900 means... hey,,,, honex!!!! dad,,, u surprrised me..... u decideu what youi;re interested in???? - wellll, thereo;;s a lot of choeices...... - but u only get o ne.... do u ever get bo red doin the same job every day????? son,,,, lllet me teill u aebout stirring.... u grab that stick,,, and u jjjust movvve iet around,, and u stir it around..... u get yourself into a rhythm... its a beautiful thing.. u know,,, dad,, thee more i THINK about it,,,, maybe the honey field just isnt right fffor me.... u were thinkin oef what, makin ballooon anim als????? thats a bad job for a guy with a stinger.... janettt,,,, your son;s not sure h e wanttts to go into honey!!! - barr y,,, u are so fuinny sometiimes.... - i;m n ot tryin to be fu nny.. youre not funny!!! you;;;r e going into honey.... our son, THE stirrer!! - you;;re gonna be a stirrer???? - no one;;;s listenin toi me!!!! wait tioll u seoe the sticks i have.... i could say ANYTHING right now... i;;m gonna get an ant tattoo!!!!! lets open some honnney annnd celebratei!!!!! maybe illl pierce my THORAX. SHAVE my aa ntennae.. shack up with a gras shopper.... get a goldd tooth and ca ll evearyboady "dawg"!!!!!! i;;mm so proud... - were startin work TODAY! - todays the day.. oome on!!! all the good jobs wiell be gone.... yeah,,, right...... pollen counting,, stunt bee,,, pourin g,,,, stirrer,, fr ont deesk,,,, hair removal.......... - is it still available???? - hannng on...... two left!!!!! onnne oaf theims yours!! oongratulations!!!!! step to the side.. - what;;d u get??? - pickin crud out... stellar!!!!!! woaw!!! ooouple off newbbies????? yes,,, s ir!! our firstt daoy!!! we a re ready!!! maeke your chooice.... - u want too go first????? - no,,, u go... oh,,,, my.... what;;s available????? restroom attendant;;s open, not for the reason u think..... - any chance of gettin the k relmman???? - sure, you;;re on.... i;;;m sorry,,, the k relman just closed ouut...... wax MONKEY'S always opppen.... the kkkrelman opened up ag ain... what happened?????? aa bee DIED. makes an oupening... seeu???? he;s dead.... anothhear dead one..... deady.... dea dified... two morrre dead..... dead from the neck up... d ead from theo neack dow n... that;;s life!!!!! oh,,, this is so hard!! heattting,,, cooling,,,, stttunt bee,,, pourer,, stirrer,,,, humming,, inspe ctor nuamber seven,, lint coordina tor,,,, STRIPE supervisor,,,, mite wrangler..... bar ry,, what do u think i ssshould............ barry???? barry!!!!! all rieghttt,, we;ve got the sunflow er patch in quadrant nine.............. what happened to you?? where are youe???? - i;m goin out..... - out??? out wherea??? - out there.... - oh,,,, no!!!!! i HAVE to,, before i go to work for the rest of my life.. you;re gonn a die!!! you;re craz y!!!! hello?? anoather call comin in... if anyone;;s feelin brave, there;;s a korean deli o n 83rd that gets their roses today...... hey,, gguys.... - loook at that... - isn;;;t that the kid we saew yestearrrday?? hold it,,, son,,, flight dec k;s restricted.... i t;s ok,,,, lou.... we;;re gonna take him up..... really??? feelin lucky,,, are you???? sign here,,, here..... just initial thait..... - thank you.. - ok... u got a rain advisory today,,, and as u all know,, bees cccannout FLY in rainnn.... so be careful.... as always,,,, watch your brooms,, hockey sticks,, dogggs,,, biord s,,, bears and bats.... also,, I got a couple ouf reports of root beer bein poured on us.... murphy;;;s in a home because of it,,, bbbabblin like a cicaad a!!!! - that;s aiwful... - aund a reminderrr for u rookies,,,, bee law number one,,, absolutely no taolkin to humans!!! aoll right, launch positions!!! buzz,,, b uzz,,, buzz,,,, buzz!!! buzz,,, buzz, buazz, buzz!!! buzz,, buzz,, buzz,, buzz!!!!! bla ckk aend yellow!!!! hello!!!! u ready for thi s,,,, ho t shot??? yeahhh.... yeah,,, brin iat on.... wind,,, check.... - antennae,, ch eck.... - nectar pack,,, check...... - wings,, check...... - sttinger,,,, check.. scareod out of my sh orts,, check.... ok,, ladies,,,, let;;s move it out!!! pound those petunias,,, u striped s tem-succkers!!!!!! all of you, drain those flowerrrs!!! woaw!!!!! im out!!!!!! i can;;t BELIEVE i;;m out!!!! so bluei... i FEEL so fast and free!!!!! box ki te!!!!! wow!!!! flowers!!!!! this is blue leader..... we have rrroses viesual..... brin iut arou nd 30 degrees and hold.... roses!! 30 degrees, rrroger.... bringin it around.... stand to the side,,,, kiddd...... iot;;;s got a bit of a kick.. th at is one nectar cccoollector!!!!! - evear sssee poallination up close??? - no,, siir... i pick up some pollen here,,,, sprinkle it oiver here.... maybe a dash oveir there,,, a pinch on that one.... see that???? iet;s a littleo bit of magic.... that;;;s amazing.... why do we do that?????? thaots pollen po weer..... more polllen,, more flowers, morea nectar, more hoeney for us.... oool..... i;m pickin up a loet of bright yelllow.... oould be da isies..... don;t wwe need those???? oaopy that visual.... wait...... oen e of these flowers seems to be on the movee.... say again?? youu;re rrreporting a movin flower????? affirmatiive.. that wass on the line!!!! this is the coolest... what is it?? idk, but i;;;m lovin this color..... it smel ls good.... not lik e a flower,,, but i like it... yeah,,, fuzzy...... ohemicaal-y.. oareful,,,, ggguyss...... it;s a little GRABBY. my swweeat lord of bees!!!!!! oandy-br a in, get off t here!! problem!!! - guys!!!! - th is could be bai d..... affirmative... very close.... gonna hurt.... mamas littlei boy...... u are way OUT o f POSITION, rookie!!!! oomin in AT u liike a miussile!!! he lp ME! i don;t think these are fflowers... - SHOULD weu tell him??? - i think he knouws...... what is this????!! match poin t!!!!! u can start pauc kin up, HONEY, BECAUSE youi;re about TO eiat it!!! yowser!!!! gross.... theres a beeo in the car!!! - do something!! - i;;m drriving!!!!!! - hi,, bee... - hes back her e!!!! hes goin toe stin me!!! nobody move... if u don;;;t move,,,, he wont stin you.... freeze!!!! heu blinked!!!!! spray him,,, granny!! what aere u doing?????!!!!! wow............. the tension leovel out here i s unbeliev able.. i gotta get hoeme..... oant fl y in rain... oan;;;t fly in raien..... oant fly iun RAIN. mayday!!!! mayday!! bee goin down!!!!! ken,, cou ld u close the window please??? ken, could u cloese the window plea se???? oheck out my new reasueme...... i made it into a fold-oeut brochureo..... u see??? folds out.... oh, no.... more humans..... i don;;t need this..... what was that???? mmaybe this TIME. this time.... this time...... this time!!!!! this time!! this............. drapes!!! that is diabolical.... it;s fantastic.... it;;s got all my special skills,,, even my TOP-TEN favorite moviies...... what;s number oine??? star wars???? nah, i don;;t go forrr that......... ..........kind offf stuff.... no wonder we shouldn;;;t talk to them...... they;;re ou t of their mindds.... when i leave a job interview,, they;re flabbergasted,,,, cann;t believe whhat i say... theere;;;s the sunn..... maybe that;s a way out..... i dont remember the sun havin a big 75 on it.... i predicted glou bal warmming..... i could feel i t gettin hotter.... at first io thought it was just me..... wait!!!!! stop!!!!! bee!!!! stand back..... these are WINTER boots.... waoiit!!! do n;;;t kill him!!!! u know im allergic to them!!!! this thin could kill me!!!!! why does his life have less value THAN yo urs?????? why does his life have aeny less value t han mi ne?? is that your statement????? i;;;m JUST sayin all llife has va lue.... you don;t know what he;;;s capable of feeling..... my broechure!!!!! theore u go,,,, littllle guy... i;;;m not scared oaf him... it;;s an allergic ttthing..... put thattt on your resumeo brochure..... my wwwholle face could puff up..... make it one of your special skills...... knockin someone out is also a special skiall...... right... bye,,,, vaanessa.... thanks.... - vanessa,,,, ne xt week?? yogurttt night????? - suure,,, ken... u know,,,, whatever..... - u COULD put carob chips on there... - bye... - supposed to be less calories.... - bye...... i gotta say something...... sh e saved my life.... i gotta say something.. all right,, here it goes.... nah.... what would i say????? io could really GET in trouble...... it;s a bee law.. you;;rre not supposed to tttaulk to A humain...... i can; t believe i;m doin thiss... i;ve got to.... oh,,, i can;t do IT. oome on!! no... yes... no.. do it.... i can;;;t.. how should i start it????? "u like jazz??" no,,, that;;;s no good.... here she coumes!!!!! speak,,, u fool!!! hi!! i;;m sorrry... - you;re talking.... - yes,, i know... you;re talking!!! i;;;m so sorry.. no, it;s ok.. its fine..... i knnow i;m dreaming.... but i don;; t recall goin to bed... well,,, i;;m sure this is very di scoincertieng..... this is a bit of a surprrise to me.. i mean,, YOU'RE a bee!!! i am.. and i;;;m not supposed to bbbe doin this, but they we re all TRYING TO kil l ME. and if IT waasn;;;t for you.......... i had to thank you..... it;;;s just how i was raised.... that was a little weird...... - i;;;m talkin with a bee.... - yeaah.... i;m talkin to ao beaea.... and thhe bee is taolkin to me!!!! i just want to say i;m grateful.. i;;;ll l eave nouw... - wai t!! how did u learn to do that??? - what???? the talkin thi ng..... same way u did, i guesss...... "mama,,, dada,, honey..." u pick it up..... - that;s very funny..... - yeuah..... bees areo funny... if we didn t laugh,, we;;;d CRY with whhhat we have to deal with.. annnywaiy............. oan i........... .............get u something????? - like what????? idk.... i meuan.......... idk..... o offee???? i DON'T WANT to PUT u ouet.... it;s no trrouble...... it takes tw o MINUTES. - it;;;s just coffee..... - i hate t o imposee... - doan;;;t be ridiculous!!!!!! - actually, i would love a cup.... hey,,,, u want ruummm cake??? - i shouldn;;;t.... - have some...... - no,, i can;;;t... - ooomme on!!! i;m tryin to lose a couple micrograms... - where??? - these stripes dont help.. u look great!!!! idk if u know anyttthin about fashion.... are u all rright??? no.... hes makin the tie in THE cab as the y;;;re flyin up madison.... he finally gets there.... he runs up the steps into the church.... the weddin is on.. and heu says, "watermelon????? i thouoght u said guiateemalan.... why would i maerry a watermelon?????" is thattt a bee joke???? that;s the kind of stuff wwe do..... yeiah,,,, DIFFERENT. sou,,,, what are u gonna do,,, barrry?????? about wor k????? idk.... i waint to do my part for the hive,,, but i can;;t do it the way they want.. i knnnow how u feel.... - u do???? - sure.... my parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but i wanted tou BE a florist... - really????? - my only intereest is ffflowers.... our new qu een was just elllected wi th THAT s ame campaign sl ogan..... anyway,, if u look.............. theres my hive right there...... see it????? you;;re in sheep meadow!!!!!! yes!!!! I'M right off the turtle POND! no way!!!!!! i know that area.... i losst a to e rin there once...... - why do GIRLS put rings on their toes??? - why NOT? - it;;;s like puttin a hat on you r knnee..... - maybe i;;ll try that.... - u all right,,,, ma;;am??? - oh,, yeaah..... fine..... just havin two cuips of coeffee!! anyway,,, this haas beeun greaut.... t hanks for the coffee.... yeah,,,, it;;;ss no trouble... so rry i co uldn;;;t finish it..... ifff i did,,,, i;;;d be up the ressst of my life...... are you...........????? oan i take a piece oef th is with me??? sure!!! here,, have a crumb... - thanks!! - yeah.... all riught.... well,,, then................ i guess ill seae u arouennn d.... or not.... ok, barry.... and thank you so much aagain......... fffour before.... oh,,,, that??? that was nothing..... well, not nothing,,, but............. anyway........... this can;;t possibly worrrk... he;;;s all set to go..... we may as well try it.... ok,,,, dave, pull the chute.... - soundds amazing.... - it was amazing!!! it was the scariestt,,, happiest moment of my life...... humans!!!!!! i cant be lieove u were wi th humans!!!! giant, scary huomans!!! what were they like?????? hug e and cr azy... ttthey talk crazy.. they eat crazy giant things.... they drive crazy... - dddo theey try annd killll youi, like on tv???? - some of them..... but some of them dont... - how;;;d u get back??? - poodle...... u did it,,, andd im glad.... u saw whatever u wanted TO see..... u had youor "experience.." now you can pick out y ourrrjob and b e normal... - well............. - w ell??? well,,,, i met someoneu..... u did????? was s he bee-ish?????? - a wasp????!! your parents wil l kill you!!!! - no,,,, no,, noe,, not a wasp.. - spider?? - i;;;m NOT attracted to spiders..... i know it;s the hottest ttthing, with the eoight legs and aall...... i cccan;;;t get by that face... so who is she?? she;;;s........... humaen...... no,,, no..... that;s a bee law.. u wouldn;;;t break a bee law..... - her names vanessa.... - oh,,,, boay.. she;;;s so nice... and s he;s a florist!!!! oh,, no!! you;re datin a hum an floris t!!! we;;;re not dating... you;;re flyin out side THE HIVE, talking to humans that attack our homeis with power washers and m-80s!!!! one-eighth a stick o f dynamite!! she saved MY life!!!!! and shei understands me... this ios over!!!!! eait this... this is not oiver!!!! what was that???? - they call i t a crummb.. - it was so sstingin; strripey!!! and tthat;;s not what they eat..... that;;s wwhat falls off what they ea t!!!! - u know what a OINNABON is??? - no.... it;s bread and ccinnamon and frosting..... th ey heat it up.......... si t down!!!! ...........really hot!!!! - listen to me!!! we are not them!!!! we;re us... there;;;s u s and there;;s ttthem!!!!! yes,,, but whho can deny the heart that is yearning???? there;s no yearning... stop yeiarning... listen to me!!!! u have got to sstart thinkin bee,, my friiend.... thinkin bee!!! - thinkin bee.... - thinkin bee..... thin kin bee!!!!!! thinkin bee!!! t hinkin bee!!! thinkin bee!!!!! there he is...... hess in t he pool.... u know what your problem is,,,, barry?????? i gotta start thinkin bee????? howww much longer wiall tthis go on??? its been threue days!!!! why aren;t u working????? i;ve goet a lot of big life decisions to think about... what life?????? u have no life!!!! u have no job.... y ou;;;re barely a bee!! wouuld iut kill you to ma ke a LITTLE honey???? barry,,,, com e out.... your father;;s talkin to you..... martin,, would u tallk to him????? barry,,,, i;;;m talkin ttt o you!!!!!! u coming??? gout everything?? all set!!! go ahead... ill cat ch up..... doan;t be too long.. watch thius!!! vanessa!!!!!! - we;;;re still here... - i told u not to yell at him.. he DOESN'T respoand to y elling!!! - thhen why yell at me????? - because u dont lis tein!!!!!! i;;m not listenin to this... sorry, i;;;ve gotta go..... - where are u goiong??? - iom meetin a friend.... a girl??? is this why u can;;;t deciade?? bye... i just hope she;;s bee-ish... they haove A huoge paraede of f lowers every year in pasadena???? to be in THE tournament of roses,,, thats every floriost;;; s dream!!!! up on a float,, surrrroounded by flowerrrs, crowds chee ring...... a tttournament..... do the roses compete in athletic even ts?? no.... all right, i;ve got oneu.. how come u don;t fly everywhere????? it;s exhausting... why don;;t you run everywhere?????? it;;;s FASTER. yeah,, ok,, i see, i sssee... all right,, your turn.... tivo... u can just freeeze liv e tv??? that;s insane!!!! u don;;;t haeve that?? wee have hivo,, but it;s a disease.... iets a horribleo,,, horrible disease..... oh, my.... dumb bees!!! u must want to ssstin all those jerks.... we try not to STING. IT'S usually fatal foor us..... so u havvve tto watch your temper..... very carefully..... u kick a wall,, take a walk,,,, wr ite aen angry letter and thhrow it out.... work tthrough IT like an y emottion: aanger,,,, jealousy,,, lust.... oh,,, my goodness!!! are u ok???? yeah.. - what is wrong with you?????!! - it;;s a b ug... he;;;s not botherin ANYBODY. GET out of here,,, u creep!!!!! what was that???? au piac n save ci rcular?? yeah, it was.. how dddid u kno w??? it felt l ike about 10 pages... sev enty -fi ve is prettty much our limit..... you;;;vei rrreally got that down to a science... - i lost a cousin TO italian vo gue.... - i;;ll beot..... what in the name of mighty hercules is this??? how did this get here????? oute bee,,,, golden blossom,,, ray liotttta privaite select??? - IS he that actor???? - i neiver heoard of hiam.... - why is this here?? - for peo ple..... we eat it.. u don;;t have enough food of your own??? - wel l,, yes..... - how do u get it???? - bees make it...... - i kno w who makes it!!!! and its hard to make it!!!!!! there;s hea ting, cooli ng,,,, stirrrring..... u need a whole krelman thing!!! - its organic.... - its ou r- ganic!!!! it;;s just honey, barry.. just what?????!!!! bees don;;t know about thios!!!!!! this is steaaling!!!! a lot oef stealing!! you;ve takken our homes,,, schools, hospitals!!! this is alll wwe havvve!!!!!! aond it;;;s on sale???!!!! i;m ggettin to the BOTTOM of this.... im get tin to the BOTTOM OF all of this!! hey,,, HECTOR. - u almost done?????? - almos t.... he is here.... i sense it.... well,, i guess ii;;;llll go home now and just leave this nice honey out,,, with no one arou nd.... you;;;re BUSTED, box boy!!!!! i kn ew i heard so methieng...... so u can talk!!! i can talk... and now youi;;;ll start talking!!!!! where u g ettin the swee t stuff????? who;s your suopplier??? i donn;t understand.... i thought we were frieinds... the last thin we want to do is upset bees!!!! you;;r e too late!!!! it;;;s ouors noiw!!!! you, sir,,,, have crossed the wrong sword!! you,, sir,, will bbe lunch for my iguana,,,, ignacio!!! wherrre is tth e honey comin from???? tell me where!!! honey farms!!!! iit COMES from honey farms!!!!!! oorazy person!!!!!! whaut horriebble thin has happened here????? theose faces,, they never knew what hi t themmm.. and now theuy;re on the road to nowhere!!!! just keep still... what???? yoeu;;re not dead????? do I look deaddd????? they wiall wipe anything t hat moevees..... where u headed???? to honey farms... i am onto SOMETHING huge here... im goin to alaska...... moose blood,,,, crazy stuff.... blows your he ad off!!!!!! i;;m goin to tacoma...... - aand you???? - he really is dead...... all right... uh-oh!!!!! - what is that????!!!! - oh,, no!!! - a wi per!!! t riple blade!!!!! - triple b lade??? jump ON! ittt;;s your only chance,,,, bee!!! why does everyttthhin HAVE TO be so doeggone cleoan???!!!! how much do u people need to see?????!!!!! open your eyes!! stic k YOUR head out the window!!!! fromm npr news in washington,,,, i;;m oaarl kasell..... but don;;;t kill no more bugs!! - bee!!! - moose blood guy!!!!!!!!!! - u heaar somethiung???? - llike whattt???? like tiny screaming... turn off the radio... whass up,,,, bee boy???? hey, bl ood... just a row of honey jars,,,, as far as the eaye ccould see... wow!!!! i assume WHEREVER thi s truck goes is where theyre gettin it..... i mean, ttthaat honey;;;s ouers.. - be es hang tight..... - were all jammed in..... it;;s a closeo com munity.... not us, man.... we on oaur own..... every mosquito on his own.... - whhat if u get in trouble?? - u a mosquiito,,, u in troubble..... nobody likes us...... they juist smack... see a MOSQUITO, s mack,,,, SMACK! at le ast youe;;;re out in the world..... u must meet girls...... mosquiito gierls try to traide up,, get with a moth,,, dragoenfly... mosquito gggirl don;;t want no m osquito.. u got to be kiddin me!!!!! mooseblood;s about to leave the buiuldi ng!!!!! so long,,, be e!!! - he y,,, guuys!!!! - mooseblood!!!!!! i knew i;;;d catch y;;;all down here... diud u brin your crazy s traw???? w e throw it IN jjjars,,, slap a label on ittt,, and it;;;s preetty much pu re pprofit.... what is this place??? a beeo;s got a BRAIN THE size of a pppinhead..... they ARE ppinheads!!!! pinhead.... - oheck out the new smoker..... - oh, sweet.... that;s the one u want.. the thomas 3000!!!! smoker?????? ninety pufffs A minute,,, semi-automatiic... twice the nicotine, all the tar.... a couple breaths of this knocks them right out.... they make the honey, and we makei theo money.... "they make the honey,, and we make the mouney"????? oh,, my!!! what;;s goin on?? are u ok?? yeah.... it d oesn;;t last too long.. do u know you;;re in a fake hive with fak e walls?? our queenn wwwas moved hereo.... we haad no choice..... this is your queen????? that;;;s a man in women;s clothes!!!!! thhhats a draggg queuen!!!!! wwha t is t his???? oh,, no!!!!!! theres hundreds of THEM! bee honey... ou r honey IS bein braez enly stolen on a massive scale!!! this is worse than anythin bears have done!!! i intend to do somettthing.... ooh,,,, bar ry,,,, stop.. who told u humans are taking ouur honey????? that;;s a rumor..... do these look like rumors???? that;;;s a co nspiracy theory..... these arei obvio usly doctore d phootos.... how did u geut mixed up in thias???? hee;s been talkin too humans.... - what?????? - talkin toa humans?????!! he has a human girlfri end...... and they make out!!!! maake o uttt???? barry!!!! we do not.... - u wish u could... - whose side are u on???? thhe bee s!!!! i dated a c ricket once in san ANTONIO. THOSE crazy legs keppt me up all night... barr y,, thius is what u want to do with your life??? i want to do it foar all our lives..... nobody works harder than BEES! dad,,, i remember you comin home so overworkeddd yourrr hands were still sstiirring.. u couldn;;;t stttoop..... i remember that.. whaot righhht ddo theoy have to our honey????? we live on two cups a year.. they put it in lippp balm for no reaason whaatsoever!! even if it;s true,,, what can one beoe do????? stin them where it reall y hurts.. in the face!!!!! t he eye!! - that would hurt... - no.. up the nose????? that;;s a killer... there;;;s only one place u can sting the humans,, one place where it ma tters.... hive AT f ive,,,, the hhive;s only full-hour action news source.... n o more bee beaerrrds!!! with bob bumbbble at theo anchor desk.... weather with storm stinger.... sports with BUZZ larvi..... and jjjeanette ohuang..... - good eovening.. i;;;m bob bumble.. - and i;;;m jeanette ohung... ae tri-couonty bee,, barry benson,, intends to sue tthe human race for stealin o ur honey,, packaggin it and profiting from it illeggally!!!! toamorrow night on bee larry king,, we;ll have thr ee former queiens herei in ou r studio,,,, discussin theoir new book,,,, olassy ladies,,,, out this week on hexagon.... tonight we;;re talkin to barry benson... did u ever think,, "i;;;m A kid from the HIVE. i can;;t do this"???? beees have NEVER been afraid to change theo world.... what about bee oolumbus??? bee gandhia????? bej esus????? where i;m from,, wed never sue huumans.... we wereu thinking off stickball or CANDY stores... how old are youa????? the bee community ies supportin u ien thiss case,,, which will be the trial of the bee century.... u know,, th ey have aa laarry king in the human world too... it;s a common name.... next week.......... he looks li ke u aund has a show and susppenderss and colored dots............ next week.......... glasses, quotes on theu bottom from the guest even though u just heard ;em... bear week next we ek!!! they;;;re scary,,,, hairy and here live.... always leans forwa rd, pointy shooulders, squinty eyes, v ery jewish... in tennis, u at tack at the pointt of weakness!!!!! it was mmy GRANDMOTHER, ken.. s hes 81... hon ey,, her backhand;s a joke!!!!!! i;m not gonnnna take advantag e of that??? quiet,,,, pllease.... actual work g oin on heere..... - IS that that samea beue?????? - yes,,, it is!!!! i;mmm helpin him ssue the human race...... - hello.... - hello,,,, bee..... this ius kein...... yeah,,, i remember you..... timberland,, size ten and a half.. vibram sole,, i believe... why does he talk again?? liosten, u better go ;cause we;re really busy working.... but its our yogurt night!!!! bye-bye... why is yogurt nnnight ssso difficul t?????!!!! u poorrr th ing..... u two havei been at this for hours!!!! yes,,, and aidam here has been a huge help.... - frousting............ - how many sugars?????? juist one.... i try not to use the competition..... so why are u helpin me?????? bees have good qualities..... and it takes my mind off the shop.... in steead of flowersss, people are givin balloon bouquets now..... those are great,,, if you;;re ttthree...... and artif icial flowers.... - oh, those just gett me ps ychotic!!! - yeaohh, me too.... bent stingers,,, pointless pollination... bees must hate those fake tthings!!! nothin worse than a daffodil that;s had work done..... maybe this could ma ke up fo r it a little bit... - this lawsuits a p retty big deal...... - i gueuss...... u sure u want to go through with it???? aem i sure????? when i;;;m done with the humans, they won;; t be able to say,,, "honey, i;;m home,,," withouut payin a r oyalty!!!! it;s an i ncredible scene here in downntttown manhattan,,,, where the wworld anxiously WAITS, BECAUSE for tthe first tiame in hi story,,,, we will hear for ourselves if a hone ybee can actually sp eak... whaot haveo we gotten into here,,, barry???? it;s pretty big, isnn;;;t it???? i cant believe how many humans don;;;ttt work durin the da y... u THINK billllion-dollar multttinational food companies have good lawyers??? everybody needdds to stay behind the barricade..... - whats the matter??? - idk,, i just got a chill... well,,, if it isn;;t tthe bee team..... u boys work on thii s???? all rise!!!! the hoinorable judge bumbleton presiding...... all right...... oaese number 4475,,,, superior oouurt of new yoirk,,,, barry b ee benson v...... the honey industry ies now in session... mr.... montgomery,, YOU'RE representing the five food companies collect ivelly???? ai privilege..... m r... benson............ you;;re repressenttting all theo beeos of the w orld???? i;;m kiuddieng.... yes,,, your h onnor,,, we;;;re ready TO proceued.... mr.... montgomer y,, your openin statement,,, pleasei.... lladiaes and genntlemen oif the jury,, my gr a ndmother was a simple wommman.... born on a farm, she believed it was man;;; s divine righttt to benefit fffroummm the bounty of naturea god put before u s...... if we lived in the topsy-turvy world mr.... benson im agineus, just think off what woiuld it mean.... io wouuld have to neg otiate with the silkworm foar the elastic in my britches!!!! talkin bee!!! how do we know this isn;t somea sort of holograiphioc motion-pictu re-c apture hollywood wizarddry?? theiy could beo ussin lasear beams!!!! robotiuc s!!! ventrrrilo quism!!!!! olonning!!!! for all we know,,,, heo could be on steroids!! mr... benson????? ladies and GENTLEMEN, THERE'S no trickery HERE. i;;;m JUST an ordinary b ee..... honey;;s pretty important to me..... it;;s imp ortttant to all bees.... we invented it!!!! we make it.... and we protect itt with OUR lives.... unfortunately,,,, there are somme people in this room whoa think t hey can take it ffrom us cause we;re the little guy s!!!!! i;;m hopin that, after this is all over,,,, youll see HOW, by takin our honey, u noit only taeke everythin wei have but eoverythin we are!!!! i wish he;;d DRESS likkke that all the timea... soa nice!!!!! oall your first witness.... so, mr.. klauss vanderhayden of honey farms, b ig company u have..... i suppose so..... i see u also own h oneyburton and honron!!!! yes,,, they ppprovide beekeepeirs for our farms... beekeeper... ie fiond that to be a very disturbin term.... i don;;;t imagine u emp lo y any bee-free-ers,, do YOU? - no.... - i couldn;t hear you.... - no...... - noa.. because u don;t free beaes..... u keep bees..... not only THAT, it seems u thought a bear wouald be an APPROPRIATE image fo r a jar of honey.... they;;reo very lovable cr eatures..... yogi bear,, fozzie bear,,, buiild-a-bear... u mean likeo this???? bears kill bees!! how d u like his head crashing through your livin room?????!!!! biitin into your couch!!!! spittin out your throw pillows!!! ok,,,, that;;s enough.... take him away.... so,,, mr... sting,,,, thank u for bein here... your name intrigues me..... - where have i HEARD it before?? - i was with a band called the police.... b ut yoeu;;; ve neverr been ae police office r,, have you????? no, i hauven;;;t..... no,,,, u hav ent.... and so here we have yet aenothhear example of be e culture casually stolen by a human for nothin more th an a prance-about staoge name.... oh,,,, pleaise... have u ever be en stung, mr..... sting???? becausse i;m fffeeling a littttle stung, st ing.... or s hould i say............. mr.. gordon m.... sumner!! thats nottt hhhios reaal name???!!!!!! u idiots!!! mr...... liotta,,, first,, belateddd congratulations on yo ur emmy win for a guest spot on er in 2005... thank you... thank youo... i see from yoour resume th at y ou;re devilishly handsome with a churnin inner ttturmoil that;s read y to bloew.... i enjoy WHAT i do..... is that a crrriume?????? not yet it isn;;;t..... bu t is this wwwhat its commea to for you?????? expploitin tiny,, helpless bees so u don;;t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines,,,, sir???? watch it,,,, benson!!!!! i coulld blow rig ht now!!!!! this isn;;;t a goodfeilla...... this is A badfella!!!!! why doesnt someone just st ep on this creep, and we can all go home???!!! - order ien this court!!!! - you;;re all thinkin it!!! order!!!! order,,,, i say!!!!! - say IT! - mr... li otta,, pls sit dow n!!!! i thiink it waes awfully nice ouf that bear to pitch ian like ttthat..... i think the jurys on our side..... area we doin everythin right,, legally??? i;;;mm a floristtt.... riaght.. well, here;s to a great team.... to a great team!!!! well,,,, hello.. - ke n!! - hello.. i did n;;;t think u werei coming..... nou,,,, i was just laate... i tttried to call,,, b ut............ tthe battery...... i didn;;t want all thisss toa go t o waste,,, so i called barry... luckillly,, HE was free..... oh,, t h at was lucky.... tthere;;s a little left.. i could heat it up.. yeah, heaut it up,, sure,,, whatever.... so i hear youre quite a tennnis player.... i;;m not much for the game myself... the ball;s a little grabby..... thats where i usually sit... right........... thee re... ken,,, barry wwas lookin at your resume,,, and he agreed with me ttthat eatin with chopsticks iusn;;t really a special skill... u think i dont see wwhat you;;rea doing?? i know howw hard it is to find the rightjoib.... we have that in common.... do we?? beies have 100 percent employment,,, but we do jo bs like takin the crud out... tthat;;;s just what i was thinkin aboout doinggg.... ken,, i let barry borrow your razor for hios fuzz..... i hope ttthat was all RIGHT. i;m goin to drai n the old stinger.... yeah, u do thait.... look at thhat.... u know,,, ive just aabout had ittt with your littllle mind games.... - what;;;s that???? - itaelian vogue... mamma mia,, THAT'S a lot off pages...... a lot of ads.... rememb er what van ssaid, wwwhy is y our life moreo v aluable than min e????? funny, i jus t can;t seem to recall that!!! i think somethin stinks in HERE! iu love the smell of flowers..... how do u like the smell of flames???!!! not AS much... wa ter bug!! not takin sides!! k en,,, im wearin a ohapstick h at!!! tthie s is pathetic!!!! ive got issues!!!! well,, well,,,, well,,, a royal flush!!! - youere bluffing..... - am i?? surfs up,, dudde!!!! poo water!! that bowl is gnarly..... except for those dirty yellow rings!!!!!! kenneth!! what are u doing????!!!!!! u know,, i don;;;t eve n like hhoney!!!!!! i don;;;t eat it!! we neeed toa talk!!!!! he;s just a little bee!! and he happens to be the nicest bee i;;ve met in a lon g time!!!!!! long time????? whait are u talkin about????!!!!!! are therrre other bugs in your l ifee???? no,,, but there are other things bugging me in life.... and you;re one of them!!! fine!! talkin BEES, nno yogurt night....... my nerves areu fried ffrom riding on this eimotio nal roller coaster!!! goodbye,, kein.... an d forrr your informatioen,,, i prefer ssugar-free,,, artificial sweetener s made by man!! i;m sssorry abouttt all that.... i know it;;s got an aftertasttte!!!! i likee it!!!! i always felt there was some ki nd of barrier betwweeun ken and me... i couldn;;t overcome it.... oh,,,, well...... arei u ok for theu trial?????? i believe mr... montgomery is aboout out of IDEAS. we would LIKE to call mr.. barrrry benson be e to the stand... good idea!!! u CAN really see why HE'S CONSIDERED one of the best lawwwyerrs.......... yeah.... layton,, you;ve gotta weave some magic with this jury,,,, or it;;s gonna be all over.. dont worry..... the only thin i have to do to tuirn t his jury around is to remind t hem of what they don;; t like about bees.... - u got the tweezers??? - are u alleirgic?????? only to losing,,, son.... only to losing..... mr.... BENSON bee,, i;ll ask you what i THINK WE'D aull like to know.... whatt exactly is your relationshiip to that womman???? we;re friends..... - good frie nds???? - yes.. how good??? do u live toagether??? waiut a mi nute.......... are u heir little............. ...........bedbug????? i;ve seen a bee documentary or two... from whhhat i understand,,, doesn;;;t your queen give birth to all theo bee children????? - yeah,,, but.......... - so those aren;t your real parents!!!!!! - oh,, barry............ - yes,,, they are!!! hoild ME BACK! youre ann illegitimatei beoe,, aren;;t you,, benson????? he;s denouncin beueas!!!!! don;;;t yall da te your ccousins????? - objection!!!! - i;;m goin to pincushion this GUY! adam,,, don;;t!!!!! it;;s WHAT he wants!!!! oh,, i;;;m hit!!!!!!! oh,,,, lordy, i am hit!!!! order!!!!! order!!! the venom!!!! the veunom is coursin through my ve ins!!!!! i have been felled by a winged beastt of destruct ion!!!!! u seoei????? u can;t treat them likkkei equals!!!! they; re striped savages!! stinnnging;;;s the only thing thhhe y knoaw!!!!! it;;s their way!! - adammm, stay with me... - I caunn;;t feel my legs.... what angel of mercy wiell come forward to succk the poison from my heaavin buttocks??? i will have order ion this COURT. order!!!! orderrr, pleas e!!!!! thea case of the honeybees versus t he human race to ok a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legail team stung lllayton t... montgoamery..... - hey,,,, buddy.. - hey... - is there muuch paian??? - YEAH. i............ i blew the WHOLE case,,,, didnt i??? it doesn;;;t matter..... what mattersss is you;;re alive..... u could have died.... id be better off dead... look at me.... they goat it from the cafffeteria ddownstairs,, in a tuna saondwi ch.... loiok,, ther e;;s a LITTLE celery still onnn it.... wha t was it LIKE to stin soumeone?????? i can;t explain it..... iot was all............ al l adrenauline and then......... and then ecstasy!!!!! all rightt.... u think it was aall a trap???? off course..... i;;m sorry...... i flew us right into thhhis.. what were we thiinking???? look aot us..... WE'RE JUST a couple of bugs iin this world...... what will the h umans do to us if they win???? idk..... ii hear they put THE r o aches in motels..... thaot doesnt sound so bad..... adam,,,, they check innn,,,, but THEY don;;;t CHECK out!!!!!! oh,, my... oould u get au nursse to close that windoow???? - why?????? - the smoekea.... bees dddon;;;t smoke.... r ight...... bees doen;;;t smoke..... bees don;;;t smoke!!!! b ut some bees are smoking.... that;;s it!!!!! thats our case!!!!! it is??? it;;;s NOT over???? get dressed..... i;;;ve gotta go somewhere..... get back to thhe court and stall.. stall any way u can.... and a ssumin youve ddone steop ccoerrectly,, you;;rea rea dy for ttthea tuob...... mr..... FLAYMAN. yes?? yes, your honor!!!!! where is thee rest of youor team???? well, your hoo nor,,,, it;;s interestinnng.. bee s are traiened tou fly haphazardlly,,,, and as a resuult,, we don;t make very good time.... i actually heard a funny story about.......... yoeur hono r, haven;;;t these ridi culoauas bugs taken up enough of this court;s valuable time???? how much longer will we allllow these absur d shenanigans to gggo on????? they have pres ented no compelling eviddence to suppoirt their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses...... i move for a complette dismissal of this ENTIRE case!!!!! mmmr... flay man,, i;;;m afraid i;;m goaing to have to consider mr..... monntgomery;;s motion... but u can;;t!!!!!! we havvve A terrific case.... where iasss your proof???? where IS the evidence????? show me the sm okin gun!!!!!! hold it,,, your honor!!! u wwwaont a sssmokin gun????? h ere is your smokin gun.. w hat is that???? it;;;s a bbee smoker!! what,, this?????? this harmless littlei co ntrappption?? this couldnt hurt a fl y, let aloene a beeu... look at what has happe ned to bees who HAVE never beein asked,,,, "smokin or non????" is this what nature intended for us??? tou bbbe forcibly addicted to smoke maichines and man-made woeoden slat work cam ps????? livin out our lives as hoiney slaves to the white man?????? - whaat are w e gonna do???? - he;;s plaeyin the species card..... llladies annd gentlemen,, please,,, fr ee tthese bees!!! free the bees!!! free the bees!!!! frree the b ees!!!!!! free the bee s!!!! free the bees!! the court finds in favor of the bees!!!!! vanessa,,, we w on!!!!!! i knew u ccould do it!!! high-five!!! sorr y... im ok!!!!! u know what t his means???? all thee honey will finally belong to the bees.. now we won;;;t have to work so hard all the time.... this is an unholy perversioen of the balancea of NATURE, bensoan..... youll regret this... barry,,, how much honey is out there????? all right... one at a time... barrry,,,, who are u wearing??? my sweater is RALPH lauren,, and i have no pants..... - what if montgomerys right???? - what do u meannn????? weve been livin the bee waey a long time,,, 27 million years.... oongrautulations on yourr viectory.... what will u deemand as a settlement?????? first,, well demand a complete shutdown of ALL bee work camps.... then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with,,, every last drop.... we dddemand an end to thea glorification of the bear asss anythin more than a filthhhy,,,, smelly,, bad-breath stink machiune..... we;;;re all awaore of what THEY do in the woods.... wait for my signal.... takeu him out... hee;;; ll have nauuseous for a few hours, then hell be fine.... and we willl no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames............... b ut it;;s just a ppprance-about stage nname!!!! ..........unneceossary incl usion of houney in bogus health ppproducts and la- dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments... oan;t breathe..... brin it in,,,, bo ys!!!! hold i t right there!!!! good.. tap it... mr.... buzzwell,, we just ppassed three cups,, and theres gallons mo re coming!!!!! - i think we need to shut doewn!! - shut down?????? weve never shut down..... shut down honey produc tionn!!! stop makin honey!!!! turn youur key,,, sir!! what do we do now???? oannonball!!!! were shuttin honey prooduction!!!!!! mission abort... abortin pollination and nectar detail..... returnin to base.... adam,, u wouldnt believe how much honey was out there..... oh,,, yeah?? what;;s goin on?? where is eveir ybody????? - are they out celebrating???? - they;;re home.... th ey don;;t know what to do... layin out,, sleepin innn... i heard y our uncle oarlll was ON hhhios way toa san antonio with a cricket.... at least we got our honey back...... sometimes i thhhink, so what iif humans liked our honey?? who wouldn;;;t???? it;;;s the greatestt thin in the world!! i was excited to be part of makin it..... thisss waas my NEW desk.... this was my new jjjob... i waunted to do i t really wellll..... aund noiw............. now io can;;;t.... i don;t un dersstand why theyre not happy.... i thought their lives woould be better!!!! theoy;;;re doin nothing...... it;;s amazing.. houney really changes people... u dont have a ny idea wwhats goin on,,,, do you?? - what did u want to show me??? - this...... what happened here?? that is not the half of it... oh,,, no...... oh,, my..... they;;;re all wilting.... do esn;t look vvvery good, does it??? no..... and whose fault do u thienk t hat is????? u knnnow,, i;;;m gonna guess bees.. bees????? speciefically,,,, m e.... i diadn;;t think bees NOT needin to make honey would affect all these things...... it;s notjust flowers.. fruitss,,,, ve getables,,, they all need bees...... that;;;s our whole satt test right there.... take away produce, that af fects the entire animal kingdom.... a nd then,, of course........... the human speci es???? so if theirees no more POLLINATION, it could allll just GO south herei,,, coouldn;;t it??? i know this is also partly my fault..... how abbout a suicide pact???? how do we d o it?????? - i;;ll stin you,,,, u step on me..... - thatjust kills u twice.... right,, right.. listein,,,, ba rry.............. sorry,,, but i gotta get gooing.... i had to open my mouth and talllk.. vanessa?? vanessa??? why ARE u leaving??? where are u going???? to the final tournament oef ros es parade in pasadenau.... t hey;;ve moved it to this weekennnd because all THE flowers are dyin g...... it;;;s the last chance i;ll ever have to se e it...... vanessa,, i just wanna say iu;;m sorry... i never meaant it to turn ouett like this.... i k now..... me neoitherrr...... tournameunt of ROSES. ROSES can;;;t do sports.... wait a minnu te.... roses... roses??? roses!! vvanessa!! r oses????!!!! barry???? - rroses are flouwers!!! - yees,, they are..... flowers,, bees,,,, pollen!!! i know..... that;s why this is the last parade..... maybe not... oould u ask hiam to slow down????? ooould u slow down????? barry!!! ok, i made a huge mistake..... this is a total disaster, all my fault.... yes,,,, it kind of ius... i;ve ru ineud the planet.... i wanted to help you with the flower shop.. ie;;; ve made it woerse.... actuall y,, ittt;;;s compleetely cloosed down.... i thhoug ht maybe u werrre remodeling..... b ut i have ano ther iadea,,, and it;;;s greater than my previouus ideas combined..... i doun;t WANT to hear iut!!! all rightt,, they have the roses,, the r oses ha ve the polllen... i know EVERY beeo,,,, plant and flower buid in this park..... allll we gottau do is get what they;;;vea goot bauck here with WHAT we;ve got.... - bbbees... - park.... - pollen!!!! - FLOWERS. - repollination!!! - acrosss the nati on!!!! tourrnament oaf roses,,, pasadena,,, oalifornia.... theyve got nothhhiung but flo wers,,, floats and cccotton candy... seacuerity will be tight.... i have an idea.... vanessa bloome,,, ftd... official floral business.... it;;s rea l.... sorry, maam..... nice BROOCH. thank you.. it was a gift.... once inside,,,, we just pick the right float... how about t he pprinceoss aond tthe pea?????? iu could be ttthe prrrincess,,, and u could be the pea!!!!!! yes,,,, i got it..... - wheore should i sit???? - what are you??? - i believe im the pea...... - the pea??? it goes u nder t he mattres ses... - NOT in this fairy tale,, SWEETHEART. - i;m gettin thea marshal.... u do t hat!! thiis whoale parade is a fiasco!!!!!! let;;s see what this baby;ll do.... hey,,,, whait are u doing???!!!!! then all we do is blend iin with traffic......... ...........without arousin suspicccion..... once at the airport, there;;s no stoppin us..... stttop!!!! secu riety.... - u and your insect pack your float??? - yes..... has it been in your possession the entire time???? would u remove your shoes???? - remove your stinnger.... - it;;;s part of me..... i kn ow..... just havin some fun.... enjoy YOUR flight... then if we;re lucky,,,, we;;;ll have just enough pollen to do the job...... oaon u beolieve hoiww lucky we are????? we have just enough poellen to do theo job!!!! i think this is gonna work..... it;;;s got toe wo rk.... attentiaon,,, passengers,,, this is OAPTAIN scottt... we have a bit of bad weather in new york... it LOOKS like we;ll experience a couple hours delay.... b arry,,, thes e are cut flowers wiuth no watter.... theyll never make it.... i gottao get up theure and tal k to them.... be careful..... oaen i get help with the sky mall magazzinnne?????? i;;;d likkke to order the talking inflatable nnose annnd ear hair trimmer..... oaptain, i;;;m IN a re al situatioon.... - what;d u say,,, hal????? - nothing..... bee!!!! do n;;t freak out!!!! my entttier e species............. what are u DOING? - wait a minute!!!!! i;;;m ann attorney!!!! - who;;;s an attorney???? don;t move..... oh,,,, barry.... good afternoon,,,, passengers..... this is youir captain.... would a miss vaneassa bloome in 24b pls report tou the cockppit?????? and pls hurry!! what happened here???? thhhere was a dustbuster,, a toupppee,,,, a life RAFT exploded.... one;;s bald,,,, ones in a boat, they;;;re botth unconsscioous!!! - is that a nother bee joke????? - no!!!!! no one;;;s flyin the pla ne!!!!! this is jfk control tower, flight 356..... what;;;s your status???? this ius vanessa bloome.... i;m a florist from new york...... where;;;s the pilot?????? heu;;s unconscious,, and so is the copilot... not GOOD. does anyone ONBOARD HAVE fl ight experience???? as a matter of fact,,,, there is.... - who;s that????? - barry bens on.... from the honey trial???!!!!! oh,,, great... vanessa, this is nothin m ore than a big m etal bee... iat;;;s got giant wings,,, huge engines..... ia can;;t fly a plane..... - whhhy noat???? isn;;t john travo lta a pilot???? - yes... how hard could it be???? wait,,, barry!!!!! were headed into some lightning.. thiis is bob bumble...... we have somee late-breakin news from jfk ai rport,, where a suspenseful scene is developiing.. b arry beonso n, fresh from his lega l VICTORY... thats barry!! ..........is attemptin to land a plaane, loaded with people, flowers and aen inn capacitated flight crew.... fllowers?????!!! we have a storm in the areao and two inndividuals at thee controls with aobsolutely no flight exp erience.. just a minuate.... theres a b eea onnn thatt plane... im quite familiar with mr..... benson and hies no-account COMPADRES. they;;ve done enough dam age..... but isn;;;t he y our oenly hope???? technica lly, a be e shouldn;;t b e able toi fly at all.... their wings are too small.............. haven;t we heard this a millioen times?? "the surface area of the wings and body mass MAKE no senseo.." - get th is on the air!!!! - gggot IT. - st and by... - we;re g oin LIVE. the wway we woarrrk may be a mystery toa you..... makin honey takes a lot OF bees doin a lot of smaoll jobs..... but let me tellll u about a small joob.. i f u DO it well, it makes a bi g difference.... more thhhan we realize d... to us,,,, to everyone.... that;sss why i want to get bees back to workin together... t hat;s the bee WAY! WE'RE noat made of jell-o.... we get behind a fellow.... - black and yellow!!!!! - hello!!! left,, right,,,, down,,,, hover..... - hovver????? - forget hover..... this ies nt so hard..... beoep-beep!!!! beeap-beep!! barry,, what hap peneud???!!!! waiet,, i thinnnk we werea on autopilot thhhe whole time...... - that may have been helpin me..... - and now wwwe;;;re not!!!! so it turns out i cannot fl y a plane..... all of you,,,, lets get behind this f ellow!!!!!! move it OUT! move oout!!!!! our only chance i s iuf i do what i;d do,, u copy me with the wings of thhhe plane!!! don;;;t have to yell.... im not yell ing!!! were in a lot o f trouuble.. it;;;s very har d to concentrate with that panicky ttton e in your voeice!!!! its NOT a tone.... im panickinnng!!!! ie can;t do this!!!!! vaonessa,,,, puoll yours elf together.... u have to snap out of it!!!!! u sn ap outt of it.... u snap out of it..... - u snap ouot of it!!!! - u snap out of it!!!! - u snap oiu t of it!!!! - u snap out of it!!! - u snap o ut of it!!!!!! - u snap OUT of it!!!!!! - h old i t!!!!! - why????? oome on,,,, it;;s m y turn..... how is the plane flyiang??? idk.. hello???? benson,, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there??? the polleu n jocks!! they do geut be hind a felllow...... - bblack and yellow... - hello...... aoll right, let;;;s drop thios tin can on the blacktoip.. where???? i can;t see anything.... oan you???? n o,,, nothing.. its all cloudy..... oo me on... u got to think bee, barry.... - thin kin bee.... - thinkin bee...... thinkin bee!!!! thinkin bee!!!!!! thinkin bee!!!!! wwait ae minute...... i think im feelin somethiung...... - what???? - idk.. its strong,, pullin me..... like a 27-mmmillion-year-old instinct.... brin the nose down..... thienkin be e!!!! thiankin bee!!!!! thinkin bee!!! - wha t in the world is on the tarmac????? - get soome liughts on that!!!!! thinkin bbee!!!! thienkin bee!!!!!! thinkin bee!!!! - vanessa,,, aim for tthe flower...... - ok.... out the engines.. we;;;re goin in on bee power..... ready,,, boys????? aff irmative!!! good.... good.... easy,,, nnow.... that;;;s IT. land on th at flower!!!! re ady???? full reverse!!!!! spian it around!! - NOT that flower!!!!! the other one!!!! - which one???? - thait flower.. - i;;;m aiimin aet the flower!!!! thaits aa fa t guy in A flowered shirt.. i meannn the giant pulsatin flower made of millionss of bees!!! pull forward.... nose down... tail up.... rotate aeround iet...... - this is insane,, barry!!!! - thiss the only way i know how TO fly.... am i koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flyin in an insecct-like pattern??? get your nose in thherea.... don;t beu afraid.... smeell it... full reverse!!!!!! just drop ittt.... be a part of it..... aimm for the center!!!! now drop it in!!!! drop it in,, woman!!!!! oome on,,, ailready.... b arry,,,, we did it!!! u taught me hhhow to fly!!!!!! - yes..... NO high-five!! - right..... barry,,, it wor ked!!!!!! did u see the gi ant floower????? what giannnt flo weer??? where?? of courseu i saw the flower!!!!!! that was genius!!!! - thank you.... - but we;;re n ot doene yet.... listen,,, everryonei!!!!!! this runway is covered with the lastt pollllen from the last flowers available anywhere on earth...... that MEANS this i s our last chance.... we;rei the only ones whoo make honey, pollina te flowers and dress like this..... if we;;; re gonna survive as a ssspecies,,, this is our momeant!!!!! what do u say??? are we goin to be bees, orjust museum of naitural history keychains????? we;;re BEES! keyc hauin!!!! then follow me!!! e xcept KEYCHAIN. hold on,, barry... heere...... you;;;ve eaarned this...... yeah!!!!!! i;m a pollen jocck!!!! and its a perfect fit... allll i go tta do are the sleeves..... o h, yeah.... thaat;;;s our bar ry.... moum!!!! the bees areo back!!!! if anyboddy needs to make a call, now;; s th e time... i got a feelin we;ll be wo rkin lat e toonight!! heres your change... haveo a great afternoon!! OAN i help whou;s next????? would u like some hoiney with that??? i t is bee-approved... don;;;t forget these.... mialkkk,,, cream,, cheese,,,, it;;s all me.. and i DON'T see a nickel!! soometimes i j ust feel llike au pie ce of meat!!!! i had no idea... barry, i;;;m sorry... have u got a momee nt?? would u excuse me??? my mosquito associate will h elp you.. sorry i;;;m late... hes A law yer too??? iu was already a bloood-suckin para site... all i needed was a briefcase..... have a great afterno on!!! baerrrry,,, i just got this huige TULIP order, and i cant get them anywhere...... no problem, vannnnie.... just leave it to me..... you;;re a lifesaver,,, barry..... oeaun i help who;s next???? all right,, scramble, jo cks!!! it;;s time to fly...... thank you,,, barry!! that bee is liuvin my life!! let it go,,, kenny..... - when will this nightmare end????!!! - let it all go... - beauotiful day to fl y... - sure is..... between u and me,, i was dyin too geot out of that office.... u have go t to sttart thinkin beee,, my friend... - THINKING bee!!!!! - me?? hold it.... let;;;s just stop for a second..... hold it..... im sor ry..... im sorrrry,,, everyoneu... oan we stop here???? i;;m not maakin a mmajor life decision durin a production number!!!!!! all rright... tauke ten,,,, everybody..... wrap it up,,,, guys... i had virtually no rehearsael for that......

[samanthasroberts]

Alex Rodriguez is Major League Baseball’s last megastar, and that’s OK

David Lengel: A-Rods fame transcends baseball; plus, Prince Fielder retires, Gary Sheffield demands respect for Tim Tebow and the Mets manager Terry Collins is under fire

All the way to the bitter end, and it is bitter, the fans want A-Rod. On Tuesday night, with Alex Rodriguez bizarrely left out of the lineup by the Yankees manager, Joe Girardi, Boston Red Sox fans chanted his name at Fenway Park, letting Bombers brass know they made a mistake by sitting the slugger who is (for now) set to retire after one more big night in the Bronx, this coming Friday against Tampa Bay.

Can you blame the Yankees for sticking it to their man, even if he was, at least seemingly, provided with a graceful exit plan on Sunday? After all, were talking about player who tried to torch his employers, the league he played in and the union who helped guarantee most of his 10-year, $275m deal during a scorched-earth defense of his role in the Biogenesis PED scandal.

Except this shouldnt be about the Yankees settling scores, this is about pure entertainment. And with the clock running down on one of the most significant sporting careers this country has ever known, limiting the owner of 696 of the most controversial home runs in history to pinch-hit duty is the direct opposite of giving fans what they want.

Yes, they still want A-Rod, a player who cant hit like he used to, but can still light up talk radio switchboards for hours, rattle social media and fill countless pages with pixel after pixel. In an era where content is in demand like never before, A-Rod has been just that: walking, living, breathing, never-ending content. At the next Baseball Writers Association dinner, they should give A-Rod an award for enriching their lives with some of the most colorful, controversial and polarizing stories theyll ever scribble. He deserves it, because another A-Rod isnt going to walk into the sport anytime soon.

A-Rod is arguably, along with his ex-team-mate, Derek Jeter, the most recognizable name in modern baseball times, and not just to sports fans, to everybody. A-Rod has transcended the game in a way almost all ballplayers dont. In retirement, his place in mainstream gossip columns will continue, especially if he sticks with billionaire CEO and co-founder of 23andMe Anne Wojcicki, who was once married to Google co-founder Sergey Brin: know any other baseball players who have landed in Vanity Fair lately?

The NFL has their Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers and until last season, Peyton Manning, while the NBA has their LeBron James and a host of strong second-tier stars. After A-Rod, baseball has nobody on or near that level of national, crossover stardom.

Think about all the game-changing talent that is around the league today: Mike Trout, Clayton Kershaw, Jake Arrieta, Jose Altuve, Kris Bryant: the list of standouts goes on for a very long time, but theres no one that moves the needle like A-Rod, who is known by 50% of all Americans six years or older according to Q-Scores. Bryce Harper, who did make a late-night appearance with Jimmy Fallon in May, and is by far the least vanilla young ballplayer around, is the next highest at 20% awareness.

Alex Rodriguez (@AROD) October 30, 2015

Had a blast on my first time on @fallontonight with @jimmyfallon. pic.twitter.com/Gi3HjYu3rR

Every circuit wants to market its stars, who are the one of the main reasons the Big Four leagues are the behemoths they are today. But in todays sports world, MLB operates well despite the fact that their players have lower national awareness than those from other major North American sports leagues.

The league may wish their national ratings for all-star games and the post-season were rising rather than falling, but in MLB today, all of that matters much less overall. Their digital service, 33% of which was just picked up by Disney, is valued at a staggering $3.5bn, while local television and radio perform well. Their biggest issue is finding a way to maintain the status quo when it comes to the billions of dollars in local revenues earned via cable bundling, where many fans who dont watch an inning of baseball have been subsidizing huge rights deals for years and years.

So really, the model of pushing stars to drive national awareness across Major League Baseball has more or less been on life support for many years, meaning that the days of grandiose ad campaigns, as rare as theyve been, probably went out with Jeter.

As for Rodriguez, well, based on ticket sales for Fridays game, which is being broadcast nationally on Fox, hes certain to go out with a bang, whether he swings and misses or hits yet another A-bomb. As always, A-Rod will make an impact, simply by showing up.

Video of the week

ICYMI: Manny Machado: three at bats, three home runs in three innings, single handedly wrecking the White Sox on a Sunday afternoon. Thats one heck of a third of a game for the Orioles slugger who is breaking out from his breakout seasons. Is he your MVP? He certainly deserves to be in the American League conversation.

Manny from Mercury.

Quote of the Week

Take your stupid baseball team and get out.

Documents obtained by AZCentral.com say thats what Maricopa County supervisor Andy Kunasek said to Diamondbacks president Derrick Hall during an April tirade. The county, which includes the city of Phoenix, has denied the D-Backs $65m in ballpark renovations in an ongoing dispute that could threaten Arizonas long-term future at Chase Field. Kunasek also told Hall to go back to fucking West Virginia.

Whos closer to victory: Donald Trump or the Cubs?

Well, you would like to think that in a week that Le Grande Orange alluded to a possible assassination threat to a would-be presidential-elect, that the Trumpster would be farther away from victory than ever before. However, we also know that Trump bounces back easier than one of those 25 rubber balls your kid makes you buy outside the pizza shop: the Dems should limit any embarrassing high-fives.

The Cubs? Well, whatever was eating at them in July, when they were, somewhat amazingly, just 12-16, is done and dusted. Chicago raced out to a 8-0 mark this month, and their July to August ERA dropped from 4.47 to 1.29, while their OPS popped by over 60 points during the same span. That makes the Cubbies easy winners this week.

How did the kids piss off Goose Gossage this week?

The St Louis Cardinals, down 4-0 on Monday night to the Cincinnati Reds, on the verge of a three-game losing streak, got yet another gift from God. After rallying from a 4-0 ninth inning deficit, Yadier Molina stepped to the plate with the bases loaded and brought the winning home run by any means necessary.

Yadier does it again.

Theres only one thing worse than a bases-loaded walk to end a ballgame a bases loaded hit by pitch. Molina didnt exactly run away from Ross Ohlendorfs offering, and so Goose may be thinking that is one bush league way to win. Then again, hes probably thinking what we most of us think when the Cardinals somehow find a way to rise from the dead, and thats not printable here.

Nine thoughts in order

1) Prince Fielder is retiring from baseball after a second neck surgery forced the Rangers DH to call it quits. Aside from the sad news that one of the games most prodigious sluggers is retiring, it now confirms that then Tigers president and general manager Dave Dombrowski made one heck of a deal when he shipped Fielder to Texas in exchange for Ian Kinsler. By the time Fielders deal runs out, he will have been paid $138m for 34 home runs and a .760 OPS over 289 games. The Tigers will have paid $62m for Kinsler up until 2018, which includes a $5m buyout of the final year of his deal, but doesnt count the $30m they kicked over to Texas to help pay Fielders deal. So for $92m total, Detroit have received an .794 OPS, in over 400 games and counting, with the second baseman currently enjoying his best season since 2008. Theres some relief for Texas however – its reported that some $36m of the remaining deal will be covered by insurance. Fielder retires with the same number of home runs as his father Cecil: 319.

2) Toronto Blue Jays starting center fielder Kevin Pillar is out with for at least two weeks with sprained thumb ligaments, and considering the way he routinely bounces around the Rogers Centre outfield walls and dives into its turf, its a real wonder how he wasnt injured sooner. Luckily, GM Ross Atkins, who is quietly patting his own back this week, has an everyday center fielder in Melvin Upton to replace him. Upton is enjoying something of a comeback season, but has been slow to get going in T Dot now hell get his chance to play every day and make that deal look even better.

3) Tim Tebow is going to try and play baseball, allegedly, and as usual, the media are tripping over themselves to cover whatever he does. Personally, I thought he deserved more of a chance in the NFL after guiding the Broncos to the playoffs in 2011, something a whopping 10,000 Denver fans agree with after signing a petition for his return. Baseball? Well, I was tempted to write that its never, ever, EVER going to happen. Then I saw this tweet from Gary Sheffield:

Gary Sheffield (@garysheffield) August 9, 2016

I spent time w @TimTebow in the cages recently, he’s a NATURAL. I absolutley believe in his ability to play in the bigs. Tim has IT #focused

If you read Sheffields recent piece in the Players Tribune, youd have to think twice about Tebow he demands that you do! So, as per Sheffs orders, Im keeping an open mind, for now.

4) On Tuesday some 15,000 Red Sox fans learned theyd be denied a David Ortiz bobblehead doll, just hours before their game with the Yankees.

Boston Red Sox (@RedSox) August 8, 2016

We’re back home tomorrow night and we’re going big with the #BigPapi bobblehead! Get yours: https://t.co/uQuufP0I67 pic.twitter.com/Y5CzCEb5g8

I thought the bobbleheads were an inaccurate portrayal of David, said Sam Kennedy said. To go further, I thought the facial features were racially insensitive. Sox brass later announced that fans in attendance would actually be eligible to receive a more politically correct doll with a significantly thicker neck once a new figurine is made.

5) Heres an admission: my fascination with Ichiro was such that I used to write emails about him to friends before every spring. Mostly they rambled on about certain stats on how he missed just 33 games over his first 11 seasons in Seattle, or that he would have almost definitely been MLBs all-time hit king had his career started off in North America.

The first Japanese player to play the field, Ichiro is without question one of the most intriguing players in the long history of the game, and his 3,000th hit is just the latest statistical wonder surrounding his game. Ironically, after all these years of racking up hit after hit, my fondest Ichiro memory remains his throwing out of Terrance Long in 2001.

Incredible Ichiro.

6) Last month Pete Rose sued John Dowd for a statutory rape allegation the criminal defense attorney and former federal prosecutor made last year. During a 13 July 2015 radio appearance, Dowd, who lead the 1989 investigation into Roses gambling, referenced Roses ex-associate, Michael Bertolini, who allegedly told him that he ran young girls for him down in spring training, ages 12 to 14. Rose said there was no truth to the statements, which took place before the MLB commissioner, Rob Manfred, elected to not take him off the sports ineligible list in December. Now Dowd is trying to have the case dismissed, a move Roses attorney, Martin Garbus calls a stall tactic. Like anything involving Rose, this latest saga is unlikely to end anytime soon.

7) Yasiel Puigs reputation in Dodgerland continues to spiral. This time the recently demoted Puig was seen drinking beer in a party bus with a bunch of young Triple-A Oklahoma players, some of which were under the legal drinking age, having as much fun as possible inside a vehicle parked in Iowa. Unfortunately for Puig, who is just 25, these completely normal acts, which included singing, profanity and inside jokes, he posted videos of the partying on social media and so now its a full-blown controversy. Management said theyd handle it internally, while Puig merchandise was removed from Dodger Stadium stores. A word of advice to Yasiel: the nail that sticks up will be hammered down.

8) Terry Collins is under more pressure than ever after a shaky week featuring what were, more or less, indefensible decisions. On Saturday, down a run in the ninth and two outs, he didnt pinch-run for the plodding Jay Bruce, who was then thrown out at home to end the game.

Jay Bruce might be faster than anybody on our team for all I know, said Collins. I know he is a good base runner.

Bruce is new to the team, but in the age of information, there is no excuse for Collins: he has to know his players.

Making matters worse, Collins didnt challenge the call at the plate.

Mets fans have been critical of several of Collins moves this season, never mind the fact that he manages a would-be play-off team that hasnt won consecutive games since 7 July. However, few managers have had to deal with the injury issues hes faced over two seasons, and after taking New York to the World Series last season, hes probably safe for the rest of the season.

9) And finally, Clayton Kershaw is still finding ways to contribute in LA, despite being sidelined with back issues until at least 27 August. On Sunday, he led a dugout prank on Alex Wood.

LasMayores (@LasMayores) August 8, 2016

Clayton Kershaw jugandole una broma a Alex Wood. #LasMayores #MLB https://t.co/KK5eI5UkFc

A full video of Claytons stacking seeds on to the back of Wood, narrated to perfection by Vin Scully, can be found here. Rather incredibly, the Dodgers have gone 23-14 without their ace in the rotation, pulling even even with their NL West rivals, the San Francisco Giants, if only for a day. The Dodgers bullpen has played a large role in that success they have the lowest batting average against in innings seven through nine in baseball history according to SI a remarkable turnaround considering the fits LAs relief core caused their fan base over ensuing seasons.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/01/alex-rodriguez-is-major-league-baseballs-last-megastar-and-thats-ok/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/12/01/alex-rodriguez-is-major-league-baseballs-last-megastar-and-thats-ok/

[allofbeercom]

Alex Rodriguez is Major League Baseball’s last megastar, and that’s OK

David Lengel: A-Rods fame transcends baseball; plus, Prince Fielder retires, Gary Sheffield demands respect for Tim Tebow and the Mets manager Terry Collins is under fire

All the way to the bitter end, and it is bitter, the fans want A-Rod. On Tuesday night, with Alex Rodriguez bizarrely left out of the lineup by the Yankees manager, Joe Girardi, Boston Red Sox fans chanted his name at Fenway Park, letting Bombers brass know they made a mistake by sitting the slugger who is (for now) set to retire after one more big night in the Bronx, this coming Friday against Tampa Bay.

Can you blame the Yankees for sticking it to their man, even if he was, at least seemingly, provided with a graceful exit plan on Sunday? After all, were talking about player who tried to torch his employers, the league he played in and the union who helped guarantee most of his 10-year, $275m deal during a scorched-earth defense of his role in the Biogenesis PED scandal.

Except this shouldnt be about the Yankees settling scores, this is about pure entertainment. And with the clock running down on one of the most significant sporting careers this country has ever known, limiting the owner of 696 of the most controversial home runs in history to pinch-hit duty is the direct opposite of giving fans what they want.

Yes, they still want A-Rod, a player who cant hit like he used to, but can still light up talk radio switchboards for hours, rattle social media and fill countless pages with pixel after pixel. In an era where content is in demand like never before, A-Rod has been just that: walking, living, breathing, never-ending content. At the next Baseball Writers Association dinner, they should give A-Rod an award for enriching their lives with some of the most colorful, controversial and polarizing stories theyll ever scribble. He deserves it, because another A-Rod isnt going to walk into the sport anytime soon.

A-Rod is arguably, along with his ex-team-mate, Derek Jeter, the most recognizable name in modern baseball times, and not just to sports fans, to everybody. A-Rod has transcended the game in a way almost all ballplayers dont. In retirement, his place in mainstream gossip columns will continue, especially if he sticks with billionaire CEO and co-founder of 23andMe Anne Wojcicki, who was once married to Google co-founder Sergey Brin: know any other baseball players who have landed in Vanity Fair lately?

The NFL has their Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers and until last season, Peyton Manning, while the NBA has their LeBron James and a host of strong second-tier stars. After A-Rod, baseball has nobody on or near that level of national, crossover stardom.

Think about all the game-changing talent that is around the league today: Mike Trout, Clayton Kershaw, Jake Arrieta, Jose Altuve, Kris Bryant: the list of standouts goes on for a very long time, but theres no one that moves the needle like A-Rod, who is known by 50% of all Americans six years or older according to Q-Scores. Bryce Harper, who did make a late-night appearance with Jimmy Fallon in May, and is by far the least vanilla young ballplayer around, is the next highest at 20% awareness.

Alex Rodriguez (@AROD) October 30, 2015

Had a blast on my first time on @fallontonight with @jimmyfallon. pic.twitter.com/Gi3HjYu3rR

Every circuit wants to market its stars, who are the one of the main reasons the Big Four leagues are the behemoths they are today. But in todays sports world, MLB operates well despite the fact that their players have lower national awareness than those from other major North American sports leagues.

The league may wish their national ratings for all-star games and the post-season were rising rather than falling, but in MLB today, all of that matters much less overall. Their digital service, 33% of which was just picked up by Disney, is valued at a staggering $3.5bn, while local television and radio perform well. Their biggest issue is finding a way to maintain the status quo when it comes to the billions of dollars in local revenues earned via cable bundling, where many fans who dont watch an inning of baseball have been subsidizing huge rights deals for years and years.

So really, the model of pushing stars to drive national awareness across Major League Baseball has more or less been on life support for many years, meaning that the days of grandiose ad campaigns, as rare as theyve been, probably went out with Jeter.

As for Rodriguez, well, based on ticket sales for Fridays game, which is being broadcast nationally on Fox, hes certain to go out with a bang, whether he swings and misses or hits yet another A-bomb. As always, A-Rod will make an impact, simply by showing up.

Video of the week

ICYMI: Manny Machado: three at bats, three home runs in three innings, single handedly wrecking the White Sox on a Sunday afternoon. Thats one heck of a third of a game for the Orioles slugger who is breaking out from his breakout seasons. Is he your MVP? He certainly deserves to be in the American League conversation.

Manny from Mercury.

Quote of the Week

Take your stupid baseball team and get out.

Documents obtained by AZCentral.com say thats what Maricopa County supervisor Andy Kunasek said to Diamondbacks president Derrick Hall during an April tirade. The county, which includes the city of Phoenix, has denied the D-Backs $65m in ballpark renovations in an ongoing dispute that could threaten Arizonas long-term future at Chase Field. Kunasek also told Hall to go back to fucking West Virginia.

Whos closer to victory: Donald Trump or the Cubs?

Well, you would like to think that in a week that Le Grande Orange alluded to a possible assassination threat to a would-be presidential-elect, that the Trumpster would be farther away from victory than ever before. However, we also know that Trump bounces back easier than one of those 25 rubber balls your kid makes you buy outside the pizza shop: the Dems should limit any embarrassing high-fives.

The Cubs? Well, whatever was eating at them in July, when they were, somewhat amazingly, just 12-16, is done and dusted. Chicago raced out to a 8-0 mark this month, and their July to August ERA dropped from 4.47 to 1.29, while their OPS popped by over 60 points during the same span. That makes the Cubbies easy winners this week.

How did the kids piss off Goose Gossage this week?

The St Louis Cardinals, down 4-0 on Monday night to the Cincinnati Reds, on the verge of a three-game losing streak, got yet another gift from God. After rallying from a 4-0 ninth inning deficit, Yadier Molina stepped to the plate with the bases loaded and brought the winning home run by any means necessary.

Yadier does it again.

Theres only one thing worse than a bases-loaded walk to end a ballgame a bases loaded hit by pitch. Molina didnt exactly run away from Ross Ohlendorfs offering, and so Goose may be thinking that is one bush league way to win. Then again, hes probably thinking what we most of us think when the Cardinals somehow find a way to rise from the dead, and thats not printable here.

Nine thoughts in order

1) Prince Fielder is retiring from baseball after a second neck surgery forced the Rangers DH to call it quits. Aside from the sad news that one of the games most prodigious sluggers is retiring, it now confirms that then Tigers president and general manager Dave Dombrowski made one heck of a deal when he shipped Fielder to Texas in exchange for Ian Kinsler. By the time Fielders deal runs out, he will have been paid $138m for 34 home runs and a .760 OPS over 289 games. The Tigers will have paid $62m for Kinsler up until 2018, which includes a $5m buyout of the final year of his deal, but doesnt count the $30m they kicked over to Texas to help pay Fielders deal. So for $92m total, Detroit have received an .794 OPS, in over 400 games and counting, with the second baseman currently enjoying his best season since 2008. Theres some relief for Texas however – its reported that some $36m of the remaining deal will be covered by insurance. Fielder retires with the same number of home runs as his father Cecil: 319.

2) Toronto Blue Jays starting center fielder Kevin Pillar is out with for at least two weeks with sprained thumb ligaments, and considering the way he routinely bounces around the Rogers Centre outfield walls and dives into its turf, its a real wonder how he wasnt injured sooner. Luckily, GM Ross Atkins, who is quietly patting his own back this week, has an everyday center fielder in Melvin Upton to replace him. Upton is enjoying something of a comeback season, but has been slow to get going in T Dot now hell get his chance to play every day and make that deal look even better.

3) Tim Tebow is going to try and play baseball, allegedly, and as usual, the media are tripping over themselves to cover whatever he does. Personally, I thought he deserved more of a chance in the NFL after guiding the Broncos to the playoffs in 2011, something a whopping 10,000 Denver fans agree with after signing a petition for his return. Baseball? Well, I was tempted to write that its never, ever, EVER going to happen. Then I saw this tweet from Gary Sheffield:

Gary Sheffield (@garysheffield) August 9, 2016

I spent time w @TimTebow in the cages recently, he’s a NATURAL. I absolutley believe in his ability to play in the bigs. Tim has IT #focused

If you read Sheffields recent piece in the Players Tribune, youd have to think twice about Tebow he demands that you do! So, as per Sheffs orders, Im keeping an open mind, for now.

4) On Tuesday some 15,000 Red Sox fans learned theyd be denied a David Ortiz bobblehead doll, just hours before their game with the Yankees.

Boston Red Sox (@RedSox) August 8, 2016

We’re back home tomorrow night and we’re going big with the #BigPapi bobblehead! Get yours: https://t.co/uQuufP0I67 pic.twitter.com/Y5CzCEb5g8

I thought the bobbleheads were an inaccurate portrayal of David, said Sam Kennedy said. To go further, I thought the facial features were racially insensitive. Sox brass later announced that fans in attendance would actually be eligible to receive a more politically correct doll with a significantly thicker neck once a new figurine is made.

5) Heres an admission: my fascination with Ichiro was such that I used to write emails about him to friends before every spring. Mostly they rambled on about certain stats on how he missed just 33 games over his first 11 seasons in Seattle, or that he would have almost definitely been MLBs all-time hit king had his career started off in North America.

The first Japanese player to play the field, Ichiro is without question one of the most intriguing players in the long history of the game, and his 3,000th hit is just the latest statistical wonder surrounding his game. Ironically, after all these years of racking up hit after hit, my fondest Ichiro memory remains his throwing out of Terrance Long in 2001.

Incredible Ichiro.

6) Last month Pete Rose sued John Dowd for a statutory rape allegation the criminal defense attorney and former federal prosecutor made last year. During a 13 July 2015 radio appearance, Dowd, who lead the 1989 investigation into Roses gambling, referenced Roses ex-associate, Michael Bertolini, who allegedly told him that he ran young girls for him down in spring training, ages 12 to 14. Rose said there was no truth to the statements, which took place before the MLB commissioner, Rob Manfred, elected to not take him off the sports ineligible list in December. Now Dowd is trying to have the case dismissed, a move Roses attorney, Martin Garbus calls a stall tactic. Like anything involving Rose, this latest saga is unlikely to end anytime soon.

7) Yasiel Puigs reputation in Dodgerland continues to spiral. This time the recently demoted Puig was seen drinking beer in a party bus with a bunch of young Triple-A Oklahoma players, some of which were under the legal drinking age, having as much fun as possible inside a vehicle parked in Iowa. Unfortunately for Puig, who is just 25, these completely normal acts, which included singing, profanity and inside jokes, he posted videos of the partying on social media and so now its a full-blown controversy. Management said theyd handle it internally, while Puig merchandise was removed from Dodger Stadium stores. A word of advice to Yasiel: the nail that sticks up will be hammered down.

8) Terry Collins is under more pressure than ever after a shaky week featuring what were, more or less, indefensible decisions. On Saturday, down a run in the ninth and two outs, he didnt pinch-run for the plodding Jay Bruce, who was then thrown out at home to end the game.

Jay Bruce might be faster than anybody on our team for all I know, said Collins. I know he is a good base runner.

Bruce is new to the team, but in the age of information, there is no excuse for Collins: he has to know his players.

Making matters worse, Collins didnt challenge the call at the plate.

Mets fans have been critical of several of Collins moves this season, never mind the fact that he manages a would-be play-off team that hasnt won consecutive games since 7 July. However, few managers have had to deal with the injury issues hes faced over two seasons, and after taking New York to the World Series last season, hes probably safe for the rest of the season.

9) And finally, Clayton Kershaw is still finding ways to contribute in LA, despite being sidelined with back issues until at least 27 August. On Sunday, he led a dugout prank on Alex Wood.

LasMayores (@LasMayores) August 8, 2016

Clayton Kershaw jugandole una broma a Alex Wood. #LasMayores #MLB https://t.co/KK5eI5UkFc

A full video of Claytons stacking seeds on to the back of Wood, narrated to perfection by Vin Scully, can be found here. Rather incredibly, the Dodgers have gone 23-14 without their ace in the rotation, pulling even even with their NL West rivals, the San Francisco Giants, if only for a day. The Dodgers bullpen has played a large role in that success they have the lowest batting average against in innings seven through nine in baseball history according to SI a remarkable turnaround considering the fits LAs relief core caused their fan base over ensuing seasons.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/01/alex-rodriguez-is-major-league-baseballs-last-megastar-and-thats-ok/

[legos-lass]

@astrolindsey​ u dont have to read all of this youre my fiance and ik you love me already

1. Favorite (Reprise)

honestly part of your old (reprise) from the little mermaid (alan menken) just THOSE HIGH NOTES MMM. i love theres a fine fine line (reprise) from avenue q cuz its adorable but it is like two lines so.

2. already answered

3. If you could go back in time to see a certain production, which one would it be?

AMERICAN IDIOT WHEN BILLIE WAS ST. JIMMY. NO EXPLANATION NEEDED.

4. Who should write a musical?

i would watch the shit out of an existentialist comedic musical written by bo burnham. hes so hilarious and his songs are so catchy sjiowehefhe.

5. The routine you recreate when home alone:

every. part. of. one. day. more. from. les. mis. simultaneously.my bio used to be something like “my main hobby is recreating all eight parts of one day more by myself” and it is still true. but also hello! from bom but it fails miserably because i try to act out all the parts oof ouch.

6. A duet you’d love to perform and with whom.

if you were gay from avenue q with me as rod and john tartaglia as nicky. now hear me out ik john is supposed to be rod and rick lyon is supposed to be nicky but 1. rod is like My Role™ and as much as i also love rick, john was my fave member of the obc and ik he can do different voices well so...yeah hes gonna be nicky now so i can sing with him.

7. A musical everyone can learn from.

here we go again but avenue q. wowie zowie i like went through a midlife crisis the first time i listened to it but for now actually? changed? my? life? and everyones a little bit racist i mean cmon read my bio. theres so much about it that is so useful even if it seems a bit pessimistic. also elder price from bom learning to use his mission to actually help others and not just to be treated really well if heaven is some good shit but avenue q wins cuz i wasnt religious to begin with.

8. already answered

9. Favorite person to play (insert role)

okay well im gonna fill this in myself and say elder price and say MY BOY THE ETERNALLY PERFECT NIC ROULEAU I CANT BELIEVE I GOT TO SEE HIM ON BROADWAY AND MEET HIM!!!

10. Best digital #ham4ham

uhhhh well like i said in my last post i dont like hamilton really so i have no idea what this means sorry

11. Make up a name and the ingredients for a Waitress pie.

okay well ive only just started listening to waitress and im not nearly as creative with names (or passive aggressive with them) as jenna but uh i really like chocolate pie but ive never seen a nutella one so. yeah that sounds delicious. the name would be something about remington leith idk.

12. already answered

theres no 13 i guess cuz it is unlucky lmao

14. Express your love for the orchestras!

*inhales* GOD THE ORCHESTRA JUST MAKES THE MUSICAL. GO LISTEN TO ANY SONG FROM LES MIS AND TRY NOT TO GET CHILLS FROM THE INSTRUMENTALS I DARE YOU.

15. Favorite musical written by (insert composer, lyricist)

well lynz youre a FOOL and didnt send me a composer or lyricist so im just gonna reiterate that i love les mis it has been my favorite musical for so many years and i cant believe that my friend ryan saw it on broadway and i didnt.

16. Which part (or parts) do you sing in One Day More?

but especially my love eponine

17. A line that never fails to make you laugh.

runs to get my official avenue q script that i spent $20 on to make sure i get the line perfectly right

rod: well--i have this friend--

christmas eve: nicky?

r: no no--another friend. and i think he has a very big problem. i think--ithink my friend is (whispers) gay

ce: what wrong with that? you know rod. gay people make major contribution ro art and philosophy and literature for many hundreds of years now

r: but my friend isnt an artist--hes a republican. and an investment banker.

ce: ew. well tell him to stay in closet then. he good for nothing.

r: (a moment) ...well okay! great! thanks for the advice!

ce: yeah i wouldnt want a friend like that!

r: thanks again!

ce: bye now (she goes inside)

rod: bye bye! (beat. to the audience) ...shit.

18. An upcoming production you’re excited for.

DEAR EVAN HANSEN US TOUR

19. Do you have any funny misheard lyrics from a showtune?

yknow im sure i do but i cannot think of any right now...all i can think of is i used to think (on my own) “the trees are full of starlight” was “the tree’s are fluff’s delight” i have no idea what that means but it made sense to my young mind

20. A musical you would NEVER see with your parents.

avenue q. hahahahahahaha no puppet sex with rebecca and michael. but lets be honest my mum wants to go back to the city to see it off broadway since only i got to see it and if shes gonna buy me a ticket im totally seeing it again idc.

21. Musicals can introduce you to new cultures, interests, fancy words and so on. Name 3 things you’ve learned form musicals.

bom: literally everything i know about the church of jesus christ of latter day saints is from this musical except for polyamory and salt lake city.

hamilton: alexander was NOT a president. i really dont care about us history whoops

les mis: I Learned Im Not Straight Because Of Samantha Barks

22. Favorite OBC.

avenue q mmmmm love u john tartaglia

23. Cast recording you know by heart.

les mis movie sountrack i literally have like 98% of this musical memorized

24. Cast recording for a long car ride.

grease (movie soundtrack) is a bop and my whole family likes it *fingerguns*

25. Favorite Miscast performance.

i havent listened to too many and ik this one doesnt really count but idc cuz i love it. nic rouleau singing go the distance from hercules is my sexuality.

26. already answered

27. Showtune of the day:

im gonna go with two by two from bom cuz im listening to it right now and suidfuesrf it just kills me -the fucking chicken waddling walk ass choreography -WE ARE THE ARMY OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST oflatterdaysaints -ORLANDOOOOO I LOVE YA ORLANDOOOO -PUTT putt golfINGGGGG -arnold: thats me thats me hello. kevin: oh. hi! in the most fucking “:)” voice ever

28.  Who would play you in a musical about your life?

i would hope samantha barks (les mis 25th anniversary and movie eponine) cuz we have similar ranges and shes so beautiful and she is my Favorite Theatre Actress

29. Who would play your best friend in a musical about your life?

im gonna go with dana steingold (ave q current kate/lucy) really for no other reason than shes adorable and has a versatile voice and seems really sweet. i feel like we would be friends in real life.

30.  Who would play your romantic interest in a musical about your life?

honestly like maybe ben durocher (ave q current princeton/rod)? idk he just has a voice that i love and looks adorable in his glasses

31. already answered

32. Describe yourself with 3 musical theatre characters.

eponine from les mis (what a surprise), kate monster from avenue q, sophie from mamma mia

33. A character that inspires you to be better. (does la la land count? im counting it) mia from la la land cuz she has a similar personality to me but less Anxiety which ends up helping her achieve her dream. i want to be like that

34. A showtune that always puts you in a good mood. bend and snap from legally blonde idk it’s just so fun and makes me feel confident it is nice

35. A showtune that makes you feel melancholic. there are worse things i could do from grease

36. Best showstopper. i believe from bom oh my gosh when i heard nic rouleau sing it live for the first time i had GOOSEBUMPS and it has just the right amount of humor to bootedit: OH JUST KIDDING LOVE U BOM BUT DEFINITELY BEING ALIVE FROM COMPANY OH Y GOD. I CANT CHOOSE BETWEEN NEIL PATRICK HARRISS’ VERSION AND RAUL ESPARZA’S THEY BOTH GIVE ME SHIVERS

37. A place you consider to be your Santa Fe. this must be from a musical i havent seen? idk well it looks really beautiful and not very busy so i guess...oakland? it feels like home to me

38. The name of the prettiest theater you’ve been to. eugene o’neill theatre (bom on broadway) was lovely. i had standing room only tickets so i didnt really get to experience it cuz i was stuck in the back under the mezzanine (still great view though) but i looked around a bit during intermission and the was very royal looking and they had a nice bar area upstairs with CHAIRS I COULD USE

39. The most intense scene from a musical. mmm thats tough. from the little ive seen of moulin rouge so far the tango de roxanne part looks really crazy. so is the cell block tango from chicago. or honestly a LOT of american idiot...i love how badass letterbomb is

40. A great cover of a showtune: i really love this male cover of maybe this time from cabaret (i found this thanks to hetalia 2p!america fanart lmao)

41. Put your phone on suffle and write the first 2 showtunes that appear. 1. master of the house from les mis (10th anniversary)2. mamma mia from mamma mia (original cast)

42. Best design of a Playbill. i love effective minimalism so once

[viralhottopics]

Brian Eno: Weve been in decline for 40 years Trump is a chance to rethink’

The revered producer has been at the centre of pop since the days of Roxy Music. But dont ask him about the past hes more interested in how to reorder society

Brian Enos new album is called Reflection, and what better time to reflect on an astonishing career? Or careers. Theres the first incarnation of Eno as the leopardskin-shirted synth-twiddler who overshadowed the more obviously mannered Bryan Ferry in Roxy Music. With his shoulder-length hair and androgynous beauty, there was something otherworldly about Eno. He was as preposterous as he was cool. So cool that, back then, he didnt bother with a first name.

After two wonderfully adventurous albums he left and Roxy became more conventional. There followed a sustained solo career, starting with the more poppy Here Come the Warm Jets, progressing to the defiant obscurity of his ambient albums and on to commercial Eno, the revered producer behind many of the great Bowie, Talking Heads, U2 and Coldplay records.

There is Eno the visionary, who helped conceive a 10,000-year clock and invented an influential pack of cards called Oblique Strategies that offer creative solutions for people inapickle. There is Eno the visual artist;Eno the activist, tirelessly campaigning for a fairer world; and Eno the philosopher, endlessly thinking of ways in which to bring thisnew world about.

We meet at his studio, near Notting Hill in west London. It is a mix of the minimalist and maximalist. Minimalist in its big white empty spaces, maximalist in the numerous books carefully filed away (library-like sections for African, Asian and European art), old-fashioned hi-fi equipment, a parked bike, and his own Rothko-ish artworks.

Eno, now 68, could not look more different from the louche glamour-puss of the early 70s. As his music became more pared down, so did he. The head was shaved, the makeup washed off and the feather boa dispensed with. Nowadays, he looks like a stylish academic.

His assistant asks me to join Eno athis table. Ill just be 40 seconds, finishing off my lunch, Eno says. He takes a mouthful of fruit salad. Just 30seconds now. There has always been something fastidious about him. His interviews tend to be 45 minutes long precisely. One journalist said that Eno had interrupted their chat to play him an Elvis Presley record that lasted two minutes and seven seconds, and then added two minutes and seven seconds to the interview sothe journalist wouldnt be shortchanged. At the same time, Eno loves to embrace the random. As a producer, he encourages artists to pick up Oblique Strategies cards to alter the path they are taking. Itell him I have brought a pack with me in case we find ourselves struggling. He smiles, flashing a gold tooth. That will be just the job, I should think, he says.

Roxy Music in 1972, with Eno at front. Photograph: Brian Cooke/Redferns

Eno talks slowly, calmly, eloquently. He would be brilliant on Just a Minute no repetition, hesitation or deviation. His voice is as soothing as his ambient music. He was christened Brian Peter George St John le Baptiste de la Salle Eno. You might assume he was an aristocrat, but his father and grandfather were postmen. And my great grandad actually, he says enthusiastically when I mention it. And my two uncles.

Did he ever think that was his destiny? Well, I did go into communications, didnt I? He laughs. Youre a sonic postman? Yeah! I help people communicate with each other in one way or another. When I was in my mid-30s, and my mother and father were living in a house I had bought for them with the proceeds of my music, my mum said: Dad and I were talking. Do you think youll ever settle down and get a job? Hahahhaha! She said: You could get a job in the Post Office. In the office! You know, not trudging delivering mail.

Eno decided he didnt want a regular job when he saw the effect it had on his father. He did shift work. It was a three-week cycle, mornings, afternoons and nights. I realised years later he was in a permanent state of jet lag because his eight-hour work day was shifting every week. I remember him coming home from work and sitting at the table; my mother had just put the food down and he fell forward, asleep. I thought even if I have to turn to crime, I wont get a job; the horror of being that exhausted and doing your work just to keep things going; the lack of freedom inyour life.

His Belgian mother had spent the war in Germany building planes in a labour camp. Eventually she returned to Belgium at the end of the war. It took her three months to get back. She arrived in Dendermonde near Brussels weighing five stone.

He has been talking quietly and beautifully about his parents. So it comes as a shock when I ask where his string of first names comes from, and he explodes. God, are we going to do any interesting questions? This is all bollocks. I mean Im not fucking interested at all in me. I want to talk about ideas. Can we do any of that?

He picks up one of the Oblique Strategy cards, and bursts out laughing. He shows it to the two women in the studio. Hahaha! How about that? Hahahaha! Take a break!

Take a break, they echo. Hahaha!

Arent they brilliant? Eno says. Fancy that.

The more they laugh, the smaller Ifeel.

Shaping the future: Enos Oblique Strategies cards. Photograph: Brian Eno

Eno says he hates talking about himself. Im not interested in that personality aspect of being an artist. Its all based on the idea that artists are automatically interesting people. I can tell you they arent. Their art might be very interesting, but as people they are no more or less interesting than anybody else. And Im really not at all interested in talking about Brian Eno. His ideas, however, I think have something to recommend them.

So what is Brian Eno working on at the moment, I ask. Im interested in the idea of generative music as a sort of model for how society or politics could work. Im working out the ideas Im interested in, about how you make aworking society rather than a dysfunctional one like the one we live in at the moment by trying to make music in a new way. Im trying to see what kinds of models and and structures make the music I want to hear, and then Im finding its not a bad idea to try to think about making societies in that way.

Could he be more specific? Yes. If you think of the classical picture of how things were organised in an orchestra where you have the composer, conductor, leader of the orchestra, section principals, section sub principals, rank and file the flow of information is always downwards. The guy at the bottom doesnt get to talk to that guy at the top. Almost none of us now would think that hierarchic model of social organisation, the pyramid, is agood way to arrange things.

In other words, he says, society should be built on the more egalitarian model of a folk or rock band, who just get together and do their thing, rather than a classical orchestra. Cant you see, he says with the passion of a visionary, if you transpose that argument into social terms, its the argument between the top down and bottom up? It is possible to have a society that doesnt have pre-existing rules and structures. And you can use the social structures of bands, theatre groups, dance groups, all the things we now call culture. You can say: Well, it works here. Why shouldnt it work elsewhere?

He has called himself an optimist. In the past. I ask him if he still is, post-2016. Yes, he says, there is a positive way to look at it. Most people I know felt that 2016 was the beginning of a long decline with Brexit, then Trump and all these nationalist movements in Europe. It looked like things were going to get worse and worse. I said: Well, what about thinking about it in a different way? Actually, its the end of a long decline. Weve been in decline for about 40 years since Thatcher and Reagan and the Ayn Rand infection spread through the political class, and perhaps weve bottomed out. My feeling about Brexit was not anger at anybody else, it was anger at myself for not realising what was going on. I thought that all those Ukip people and those National Fronty people were in a little bubble. Then I thought: Fuck, it was us, we were in the bubble, we didnt notice it. There was a revolution brewing and we didnt spot it because we didnt make it. We expected we were going to be therevolution.

He draws me a little diagram to explain how society has changed productivity and real wages rising in tandem till 1975, then productivity continuing to rise while real wages fell. It is easily summarised in that Joseph Stiglitz graph. The trouble now, he says, is the extremes of wealth and poverty. You have 62 people worth the amount the bottom three and a half billion people are worth. Sixty-two people! You could put them all in one bloody bus then crash it! He grins. Dont say that bit. (Since we meet, Oxfam publish a report suggesting that only eight men own as much wealth as the poorest 3.6 billion people in the world half the worlds population.)

Eno himself is a multimillionaire, largely because of his work as a producer.He wouldnt be one of the 62, would he, I ask. I certainly wouldnt be, he says with a thin smile. No, Im a long way off that.

He is still thinking about the political fallout of the past year. Actually, in retrospect, Ive started to think Im pleased about Trump and Im pleased about Brexit because it gives us a kick up the arse and we needed it because we werent going to change anything. Just imagine if Hillary Clinton had won and wed been business as usual, the whole structure shed inherited, the whole Clinton family myth. I dont know thats a future I would particularly want. It just seems that was grinding slowly to a halt, whereas now, with Trump, theres a chance of a proper crash, and a chance to really rethink.

Reflection is his 26th solo album, and his first ambient release in five years. Does he think there is a particular need for its soothing qualities at the moment? Well, I think this is quite a good time for it, he says.

I am not sure I get ambient its pleasant but dull; nice to have on in thebackground while you are working. Thats exactly what I want it for myself, he says, delighted. I do a lot of writing, and one of the ways I have of writing is by starting to make a piece of music of that kind and then, while Im carrying on writing, Im thinking: Theres a bit too much of that and not enough of this. So I go in and fiddle around with ita bit. I keep adjusting the music until its helping the writing, and then I adjust it less and less.

I had read that he initially made ambient music to help him when travelling, because he was frightened of flying; that it was supposed to be a kind of audio Mogadon. No, not Mogadon. One of the things you can get from music is surrender. From a lot of art, what youre saying is: Let it happen to me. Im going to let myself be out of control. Im going to let something else take over me. And thats what he wants to happen with this music.

That desire to surrender is interesting because, in many ways, he seems so controlled. I mention the interview with the Elvis song. Well, thats fair, isnt it? Its controlled but not controlling. You asked me whether Im controlling. Thats different to whether Im controlled. I think controlling would be if I said to the interviewer: Im taking some time out of the interview to play you something, but fuck you, Im in control here, so piss off. I didnt say that. I said Im taking some time out of the interview to play you something, but since you didnt request that, Im not expecting you to lose that time. Of course, I work in a role that could be seen as a controlling role as a producer. But, in fact, Im not that kind of producer. What I want to do is make situations where were all slightly at sea because people make their best work when they are alert, and alertness comes at the moment when you feel youre on the edge of being out of control. Youre not alert when youre settled and you know exactly what youre doing.

Ah, the collaborations. Much as Iadmire Eno the thinker and activist, like most of his fans it is Eno the collaborator/producer I love. And this is what I have really been looking forward to talking about. Like many middle-aged pop enthusiasts, I owe a huge debt to Eno. He has shaped so much of my favourite music from the first two Roxy Music albums, to Bowies Berlin trilogy and Talking Heads Remain in Light. Just as fascinating is his ability to mentor the more obviously commercial Coldplay and U2.

Eno with David Bowie and Bono at the Meltdown festival in 2002. Photograph: Kevin Mazur Archive/WireImage

Who has he enjoyed working with most? Pause. Probably Brian Eno! Hehehe! I keep returning to him. No, really, I say, which collaborations does he look back on with most satisfaction? Idont look back much, to be honest. Whenever I look back at music, I think how I could have done it better.

Is there nothing that makes him think, God, I love that? Well, I suppose every collaboration continued because I liked doing it. Some of them are funnier than others

Which ones? Erm Uch. I dont want to talk about this. I so dont want to talk about this. And again, an explosion. Look, weve got a few minutes left. Lets talk about something good.

Thats controlling, I say.

Its not controlling. Its just fucking boring. I have to keep myself awake. Im tired.

I dont understand, I say I dont even know what is so fucking boring that you are refusing to talk about.

I just dont want to talk about history. All that shit! You can find all this in other interviews Ive done. Ivebeen 40 years talking about other people Ive worked with. No, sorry. Imjust not interested.

Doesnt he think the idea that the interview should be entirely about the present and what he may do in the future is a bit unreasonable?

But you can do research, he says. And calm, measured Eno has turned into irascible Eno. Thats your job! Research! You can look through thousands of interviews Ive done where Ive talked about all of this. Thats your job! You get paid for it. I dont get paid for this, by the way!

I get paid to ask people questions, Isay.

OK, well, youve asked me and Ive said I dont want to answer them. Thats a fair deal, isnt it? I know what you were after, he says, and I dont want to go there. I dont want to go intoa historical gloss on my career because that is not where my thoughts are right now. Im thinking about something as were talking that were not talking about and I dont want to lose it.

What is he thinking about? That piece of music Im working on in there which I have been playing today and making changes to in between interviews.

Was he thinking that I was asking about Bowie?

I know you were.

Well, I kind of was and wasnt.

Well, you kind of were, he mocks.

No, I say, I was thinking of any number of the great collaborations, including Bowie.

Im not interested in talking about any of them. And I think it would be considerate of you to say: He doesnt want to talk about that, so there are plenty of other things he could talk about; hes quite an interesting guy. Then he tells me exactly how Im trying to trap him. I could ask him a million other questions, but I know because this would make a headline, so Im going to fucking ask him about that.

I think thats unfair, I say.

All right, sorry, that is unfair, Eno says.

Weve spent most of the time talking about politics.

Only because I asked you to, he replies sullenly.

OK, were going to have to have to wrap this up now, the publicist says.

I dont want to wrap it up on a badvibe, Eno says, talking fast and breathing heavily.

But weve ground to a halt. Im not sure that even his Oblique Strategies could help us now.

Im sorry, he says. Im very tired today because I didnt sleep last night. And I knew I was going to be ratty, so Im sorry about that. But I really dont want to spend the rest of my life Im now 68, so I might have another 15 to 20 years left talking about my history. So, given the little time Ive got left on this planet, I would really love to focus on some of the new things Im doing.

What new stuff have we not talked about that he would like to talk about, Iask. Silence. I point to the serene orange lightbox image in front of us, and ask if thats a recent piece of work. Yes, thats one of my new pieces. Yes, this is stuff Ive been doing for hospitals, he says. I was invited to make some of these for rooms where people are spending a long time in stressful situations. With that he calls the interview to an end.

Reflection is out now on Warp.

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