#i wanted to like it but it's just running simulator

[hrrtshape]

Question to the anti method. "How would i know I am not in my dr" but we see this reality and not our desired one so it does actually have proof? Or when I use it before sleep and am still aware of my body being way different that it would be in my dr. How to work with that?

when you say "but i can feel my body" or "i can see my room," what you're actually saying is: "my senses are reporting data to me, so that must mean this is the only real one." but your senses aren't proof of anything. they're inputs, not evaluations. your brain interprets what's real, not your fingertips. and your brain is trained on habit, not fact.

like if you close your eyes and imagine biting a cake, your mouth salivates. not because there's a cake, but because your brain filled in the blank and your body reacted as if.

or you picture a scenario where your mom dies and suddenly you're sobbing into your pillow like you just got the phone call. you feel guilt, nausea, grief, spiralling devastation. you made it up. it hasn't happened

or you wake up from a nightmare about being hunted and you're sweating, you need to check the locks, your stomach is tight. but nothing chased you. your brain just said "this is real" and your whole system followed. only shortly thereafter did you realise that you weren't in danger

or you start recounting an argument you had with someone and you rephrase their part a little more meanly, and yours a little more righteously, and now your stomach's flipping, you feel shaky, you want to scream. they didn't say that. your brain just let the fiction run

or you read a post about a cat who died in an accident and you can't stop crying. you don't know it. your life is not impacted. but your body has interpreted it as personal tragedy. heart rate spike. chest ache. nausea. grief rituals. pure simulation.

your brain has a pattern-matcher, it builds context around what it expects, not what's actually there.

so when you say "i feel my bed and not my dr body," all that means is your brain is still running the same thing. but that fiction can be wrong. brains are wrong constantly. we dream entire lives in rem cycles. we have memories that never happened. we hallucinate our names being called in silent rooms. we cry over fictional deaths.

you're not looking for "how do i know this is fake." you're saying "this feels real," and assuming that makes it true. but everything feels real when it's happening. that's the point!!!!!!!!!!!

so . the anti method just says: okay. what if this is my dr, and the only thing i haven't changed is the context file. what if my brain is just slow. what if i'm already here, but i'm waiting for a feeling that isn't coming. because reality isn't a feeling, it's just where you are. and you can be wrong about where you are

[wendichester]

⊹ ࣪ ˖ bait²,

summary. sam lost his soul and you finally had enough.

pairing. soulless!sam winchester x reader genre. angsty

wordcount. 708

notes / warnings. trauma aftermath, PTSD-ish vibes, guilt, references to past injuries.

ᯓ★ read part 1

You don’t expect him to knock.

But he does. Two soft raps, like he’s afraid the sound might break you.

You open the door because you’re tired of running from ghosts. And because, even now, he’s still wearing the same face.

Sam stands there like a shadow. His eyes are red-rimmed, his shoulders hunched like he’s bracing for a hit. You’ve never seen him this small. Not even when he died. Not even when he came back wrong.

“Hey,” he says.

You don’t answer.

He looks down, sucks in a breath like it hurts. “Can I come in?”

You hesitate, then step back. Not because you want him here—but because you need answers. And closure. And maybe some kind of justice, even if it’s just watching him squirm.

He walks in like the floor might disappear beneath him. You stay by the window, arms crossed, pretending it doesn’t shake you to see him again.

Pretending you’re not waiting for him to say something.

It doesn’t take long.

“I remember everything.”

You nod once, slow. “Good.”

“I shouldn’t have—” His voice cracks. He tries again. “I shouldn’t have done what I did to you.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.”

He looks at you, and it’s different now. His eyes aren’t cold anymore. They’re alive. Haunted. Full of too much. Like he’s drowning in it.

“I didn’t feel anything back then,” he says, stepping closer. “I thought I understood what that meant. I didn’t.”

“Yeah?” you bite out. “What does it mean now?”

His throat works, jaw clenched like he’s holding back a scream. “It means I hurt you and didn’t care. And now I can’t stop caring.”

You flinch.

“Do you know what it’s like?” he asks, voice rising. “To look at your own memories and want to claw your own skin off? To watch yourself leave someone bleeding, knowing you loved them once—and did nothing?”

“Yeah, Sam,” you say. “I do. Because I lived it.”

He nods, eyes shining, but the tears don’t fall. Not yet.

“I used you,” he says. “I used you like you were a tool. You almost died because I couldn’t feel. Because I made a call like I was a—like I was a computer running a fucking simulation.”

You stare at him. “You’re not saying anything I don’t already know.”

“I know,” he whispers. “I’m saying it because I need to hear it.”

Silence swells between you, heavy and raw.

He looks away. “I don’t expect you to forgive me.”

“Good,” you say, and it lands like a slap.

He flinches. Deserves it.

You swallow hard. “You left me in that clearing to die, Sam. You didn’t even hesitate. You said I was the best option. Like I was a pawn.”

“I didn’t mean—”

“Yes, you did. You meant every word. You just didn’t care then.”

He nods again. Looks like he’s barely holding it together.

And for a second, you almost want to close the space between you. Reach out. Touch him. But your fingers remember the blood. Your ribs remember the ache. Your heart remembers too much.

“I can’t just forget what you did,” you whisper. “I don’t know if I should.”

He takes a shaky breath. “I wouldn’t ask you to.”

You study him. He looks older. Not just tired—wrecked. Like he’s been clawing through every bad memory trying to erase what he can’t change.

“I loved you,” you say. The words come out cracked, fragile.

His eyes finally spill over. Quiet, trembling tears that streak down his face like penance.

“I still do,” he chokes. “God, I still do. But I don’t know how to deserve you again.”

You close your eyes.

That’s the worst part.

Because some traitorous part of you still loves him too. And it hates you for it.

You open your eyes. Look at him. Really look.

And you say, “I don’t know if you can.”

He nods, accepting it. No protest. No begging. Just that hollowed-out pain that sits in his chest like a confession.

“I’ll go,” he says.

And you let him.

Because you don’t owe him anything.

Not now.

Not yet.

Maybe not ever.

But after the door clicks shut, you lean your head against the wall and cry.

Because it still hurts.

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[astronaut-executable]

i've been playing palia the past few days and i know it's closed beta not final product etc etc but it's just kind of... boring to me idk? and confusing like they explain not nearly enough i've had to google sooo much stuff as has the friend i have who's been playing it. a lot of ppl are enjoying it it looks like so that's good but the fact that you can't even interact with furniture like sitting is just so... like if you're building a game around furnishing like this (not the main goal of the game but it's a big part of it) i expect to be able to sit on a chair or something yk? this reddit post sums up my feelings pretty well. again i'm glad there are people enjoying it it isnt like the world's worst game or anything i just personally dont find it entertaining

[moeblob]

So does he, Gallagher.

[alligatorangel]

i dont think the encore levels are actually happening. the idea that theyre maybe a simulation v1 is running as they die has been on my mind for a while but the new album art just gave way more fuel to that

[elis-dreams]

Mild rw watcher spoilers below the cut

HOW BIG IS AETHER RIDGE

EVERYTIME I'M SENT TO THIS REGION I SWEAR IT GETS BIGGER

Don't get me wrong, Im enjoying the exploration, but how big is this goddamn region??? Does it ever end???

[vulpinesaint]

fucking FINALLY won a game in cultist simulator. shout out to the enlightenment route i knew you wouldn't do me wrong baby <3

[crystalpallette]

the fact that rafisol is weak to ally's puppy eyes is crucial information. sega please port puzzle pop so I can have this information forever thanks

[mittensmorgul]

re: the post i just reblogged. A LOT of the advice in that post is excellent and i recommend clicking through and reading the whole thing. but especially for fandom, due to personal experiences in the analysis of media, and my growing concern for the last good number of years that the mindset i've seen spreading in fandoms ALSO applies how how we interact with reality in general, i would like to highlight these two points from that thread:

4. Prediction, analysis, and reporting are three fundamentally different things. Learn to identify them for what they are. Reject attempts by amateur “analysts” to predict the future. They know as much as you do. 5. Real subject matter experts know and acknowledge their limits. They’re also (usually) hesitant to try and predict the future. The best frame their predictions in terms of a range of possible outcomes. Subject matter experts may also disagree with one another! It happens!

please internalize these messages!

[kaurwreck]

It's actually really appropriate that bsd happened to me because I learned about the Sengoku period of Japan from Samurai Warriors. I was moé Oichi in the very first dream in which I exercised volitional control over the dream narrative and environment.

[deductivisms]

it might just be personal taste at the end of the day but sometimes i think about how hard it was for my brain to really engage with xiv setting and part of it was bc i felt like there was so much but also not very much at all

meanwhile w/ mh setting i feel like there's not as much but also a lot?? i'm not making sense if i put it that way and leave it at that but i feel like it took a lot longer for me to "settle" into xiv's setting bc of the sheer volume of Stuff that's There and not a lot of direct engagement with certain aspects of the setting until they're plot-relevant

vs mh where, yeah, you don't even know the name of the continent you're on, but you can easily build a character because the information you are given, while limited, tells you enough to grasp how different occupations and lifestyles slot into the setting making it easier to apply that information into your own character

this isn't to praise one game by knocking the other it's just my own personal difficulties having tried and failed multiple times to be truly 'hooked' by a game setting that i feel isn't presented very well

and obviously i know that they're two very different games, and therefore can / can't do certain things in how they present their worldbuilding - it's truly a medium thing i think..-

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

On tumblr when you post you’re just playing Russian roulette with your post getting attention, but it’ll probably get ignored.

On Reddit any comment you make outside of some very niche community will immediately have someone downvoting you and calling you like, three different insults. Then they will wonder why you only log in every couple months. Like, it’s a very helpful website when you have a question for another community you’re in, but you’ll also get someone being immediately hostile when you make an innocuous post on a garden subreddit 😑

At least on tumblr people have to actually seek out your random ass text posts and go out of their way to start shit, and you don’t have the up and down vote system that feels like playing with my self confidence and worth issues.

Both websites are toxic part of the time (what social media isn’t?) and both are actually more useful for weird people, but holy shit does Reddit feel more aggressive about shit. Maybe it’s just the devil you know, but at least on this mess of a website half your hate will be for the most random shit and misunderstandings that people have to seek out finding if your blog is a normal size. Reddit is either posting on a dead sub or getting immediately thrown to the, well, sharks and wolves aren’t actually super aggressive towards humans under normal circumstances, so something else that could tear you apart instantly for just existing in the same space as them.

[keeps-ache]

so Apparently a game i was running on my computer (without a cooler thing for a good minute there, because i guess i thought i was invulnerable to heat) may or may not have burnt out some parts of my machine. and it's been a couple months since i've played it bc it just stopped working one day and i just had to accept that lmao- but anyway i'm booting the game up again today, Surely this will go differently :3

[quibbs126]

Okay, so speaking of Juniper Berry, I’m having trouble with her hair. See, juniper berries have these leaves that to put into her hair, like some sort of hair tie or something

And this is what I have of her hair so far

But I can’t figure out where to place the leaves so they look good, or what to do for the hair that’s tied up there. But I’m not getting rid of the idea, I really like it, and also I think her head looks a bit bare without something on it

[isekyaaa]

HSR events are legitimately so time consuming and task oriented they just make me want to quit the game.

[vincent-frankenstein]

i need information that would take longer than five minutes to obtain to continue writing . hell and death on planet earth