#i wanted to do something more than these quick 5 minute doodles but motivation as left me... sorry.. maybe next year or album anniversy.

[unflappedflea]

some doodles based off of some songs from flood since it is its birthday today!

flood is an amazing album, which is probably why its TMBG’s breakthrough album. I wish I was alive when it was realised. 

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Fuck it, I'M starting a new ask chain because I WANT TO 🧚‍♀️🔮💭this is the hobby fairy! 🧚‍♀️you've been visited and blessed with creative motivation and inspiration 💫poof💫 ! share with your followers a hobby/hobbies that aren't related to the main subject of your blog! then pass the love 💞 on to 5 of your favorite blogs!💭🔮🧚‍♀️

Aw, thank you, sweetheart! This is a really cute ask chain!

Other than the main subject of my blog, fandom and writing for fandom, I am a highly, highly creative guy that can always use more motivation lol!

I used to write a lot of poetry, back when I wasn't writing fanfic. I don't do it as often now, partly because I get my writing craving out elsewhere and partly because I'm in a much better place mentally now than I have been, like, ever. It's rough out here boys, let me tell you.

The best example I can give you of what my poetry is like - without digging through all the composition notebooks stashed away - is "Let Your Guard Down". It holds a bunch of the imagry I tend to use when I write poems. Additionally, I think it has that sort of poetic flow, and, of course, holds the theme of heavy angst that my poetry always has 🤣

Another hobby is ceramics. I play with it whenever possible (re: not as often as I'd like, but occasionally lol).

I can throw on the wheel but mostly I enjoy the sculptural shit. Throwing is meditative and sometimes I jump on and throw myself a set of mugs or bowls or something real quick but handbuilding makes me lose time like nothing else. It sucks me in. Probably because both it takes me forever to handbuild and because it feels a little like playing with mud, like when you're a kid.

I've put some of the progress photos of projects on here, this of my piece "chained to the bottom" and this of "burnt out" but here are some more-

Don't mind the aggressive watermarks. I've been burned by art thieves many, many, many times before. Click to enlarge/for better quality.

What I still do all the time though is draw!

Generally, if I'm not at school/doing adult shit I gotta do (ugh) and I'm not checking Tumblr for a few minutes or writing for an hour, I'm drawing. I draw, right now during the summer, for about six hours a day at least. Drawing has always been my escape. When I don't want to or didn't want to live in the real world, I went to art. I can make a new world there, or I can purge all of my thoughts to make the real world less heavy, y’know? Make yourself anew.

I draw in traditional mediums, lots of graphite and colored pencils, occasionally charcoal or watercolor or acrylic, usually striding for realism. It's the way my brain works, I like realism, romanticism, and surrealism. And I like traditional because, well, it's what I am most familiar with but also there's just something about the ability to touch and feel everything in it that I like. All the different tools *cough* for mark making from and the different paper weights and surface textures of different types of paper and the different erasers and- I could go on forever. I love the tangibility of working traditionally rather than digitally. I love it. Not just a stylist or two, a supportive glove, and a screen. To me, traditional just hits different. I totally respect digital though, the shit ya'll digital artists make is incredible and blows me away. I could never. Traditional simply scratches my brain the right way lol

And here are some Tumblr examples I've put out there already of my sketches/doodles: assorted Chris and Seb doodles for an ask, sub!Seb in a collar, Steve in panties and his shield harness, and Seb as Tommy Lee. And here are two examples of finished, fully rendered works (that tumblr is gonna eat the quality of, I just know it)-

(the left is done in graphite, the right in colored pencil)

Thank you for the ask!! I hope you didn't mind my information dumping about some of this stuff haha

[sarahlevys]

One Person's Guide to Coping with AD(H)D in the Workplace

Howdy! This is a non-exhaustive overview of a few things that I have learned to put into practice to cope with my ADD in the workplace.

For some background context, I have ADD but do not currently manage the condition via medications due to some side effects that negatively affect my quality of life. Currently, I hold an executive leadership position at the company I work for, and manage individuals with ADHD. I use ADD to describe myself because that is the name that was given to me when I was diagnosed.

I don't intend to speak as a sole authority on this subject; I've just been asked to provide ideas and thoughts on this by friends. The coping mechanisms in this post are by no means not intended to be the only coping mechanisms that exist.

Your Mind is Different

I've learned to accept the fact that I will easily get side-tracked, distracted, and have days in which I simply cannot focus on things during the time in which I either want to focus, or have been told (by supervisors, bosses, my own internal guilt mechanism, etc.) that I should be focusing on.

All of this is okay! My mind rarely, if ever, works on command when it's time to do something that I'm not intrinsically motivated to do, like work. And sometimes, even when I *want* to do the thing – like a hobby or something I genuinely enjoy – I can't focus. All of that is still okay.

Be gentle to yourself. A coping mechanism that works one day may not work another day – or even later, that same day. It's okay to multi-task, to lose focus, or to get hyper-focused on something you should or shouldn't.

Allow yourself the grace to not always use a planner, a habit tracker, or similar.

Some Things to Try

You'll note a common theme in all of these: these don't always work for me all the time. Trial and error is totally okay!

Focus:

If you find yourself itching to do something else at the same time as something you're working on – e.g., check your text messages – go ahead and do it. Sometimes, if I don't let myself give in to those impulses, they build up in my mind until my focus on what I'm 'supposed' to be focusing on gets shot to all hell.

That said, on those moments where I settle into 'the zone' or 'flow,' I am sometimes I'm able to go ahead and shut off whatever might pull my focus. Roll with it and do whatever's right for you in the moment!

In meetings, depending on the stakes of it, I might play a bit of sudoku or doodle; doing something that's low pressure, even for a few seconds, can often help me feel like I've 'multi-tasked' or 'slipped into something else' long enough to refocus on the meeting at hand.

Taking notes during a meeting, especially by hand, also can feel like multi-tasking, even if I'm not.

Standing up during a task or call often helps me focus. (Sometimes it doesn't!) Either way, even if it's just for a little bit, I still am usually happier for being able to physically fidget or stretch more than I would in a seated position.

Listening to music while I work helps me feel like I'm multi-tasking, even if I'm not – but I know this doesn't work for everyone! And like everything else, some days it works for me, some days it doesn't. I personally prefer music with lyrics, but I know others who don't.

Give Yourself Breaks:

Sometimes, when I'm moving really quickly – e.g., if I'm going through a lot of tasks, going from meeting to meeting, or trying to think and do a lot – I feel myself getting short of breath/tense. Breaks are really helpful to me!

Focusing is hard work! Try to give yourself at least one 10-15 minute break in both halves of your work shift.

Allow yourself the space to also zone out for a few minutes here and there, too.

Sometimes, even just walking around my home is enough to refresh my brain.

You might have success with the Pomodoro Technique: https://pomofocus.io/ This involves trying to work for 25 minutes, then taking a 5 minute break regardless. Repeat this for as long as desired – typically it'll be done 4 times (for 2 hours), followed by a 15 minute break.

Thinking Through Things Before Sending Them Loose:

My biggest struggle! I'm a big blurter, both out loud and via text/typing.

My first plan of attack is to, once I've typed through something, to pause before hitting send. I'm a fast typist with +100WPM, and I have to literally (sometimes out loud!) tell myself to not hit send right away so I can slow down and read through what I'm saying before I do hit that send button.

When communication is handled verbally, I physically try to weigh each word as I speak it, and focus on hearing each word before going onto the next.

I have learned to accept the fact that I will often trail off and lose my train of thought, and I will admit that out loud to whoever I'm speaking to – even if they're a client or someone important – so I can buy myself a little more time to sort things out. Being open about this takes pressure off of me.

Resist the Urge to Speed Through Work:

My other big struggle!

If you feel comfortable, speak to your manager about fail-safes and review processes that currently exist in your work environment. At my job, we've created internal processes that always involve someone else reviewing your work (no matter who is executing the task) so we have built-in failsafes.

If you do take a task quickly, for whatever reason – e.g., if it's something comfortable to you, or you're running out of time – speak to whoever you're doing the work for in order to make sure your work is reviewed, or to buy yourself more time to review your work before you hand it in.

Talk to Your Supervisor:

Ideally, you have the kind of relationship with your supervisor where you can explain that: 1) multi-tasking doesn't always mean that you aren't paying attention, whether you're actually multi-tasking or chasing something that'll give you the feeling of multi-tasking; 2) single-focus is hard. Even if they don't necessarily change anything about your operations processes, having that awareness goes a long way.

You may even consider talking to your other team members about this; I sometimes can come off as impatient or rushing when i don't need to be, and I've also talked about how I often go off-topic or off-track and people know that about me.

If you get a lot of same-day tasks that can pull focus from what you've planned to do today, you may want to talk to your supervisor about requesting a minimum of one day's notice for your work or to request communication when a same-day task is being sent your way.

Create Control For Yourself:

A big part of my instance of ADD is needing to control everything so that I know exactly what's happening at all times and nothing's going to distract me more than i already innately am. I've learned to (somewhat) let go of the control thing, but of course being able to do that means being aware of when it's popping up.

With this in mind, I try to be mindful of when I'm feeling tense or out of control – a bit trigger for me is when a bunch of unexpected meetings or communications crop up, for example – and to pay attention to how I'm feeling and what I can do to solve it, or to roll with the punches.

I've found that taking the time to think about the next day and set up my planner for the following day in the afternoon before signing off, or after work has closed, and then reviewing that again in the morning of, really helps. Of course, I don't always remember to do it. But when I do, it really help!

Organize Your Work & Find Low-Pressure Accountability:

The way that I organize my tasks for each day differs based off of the day or my mood. Sometimes I organize them by priority, sometimes by the amount of time that I think it'll take me to do something, sometimes by client, etc. Be flexible!

At my work, we do a daily check-in with the whole team where we say what we plan to do that day, and I've found that group accountability to be really helpful. That might be something your manager might be interested in providing to you (e.g., a quick message in the morning to let them know what you plan to do).

That said, accountability can sometimes feel like too much pressure if you don't always do everything on your list. Ideally, you can talk with your supervisor or even a trusted co-worker to set up an environment in which it's okay for things to roll over or for priorities to shift depending on how a day is going.

Find a Flexible Way to Organize Yourself:

Paper journals/planners and I don't mix; when I forget to use it, the empty pages give me guilt, and the permanence of pen also makes me anxious since things in my mind are so fluid.

With this in mind, I prefer digital means since I can rearrange and move things around. I personally use an iPad Pro and a Pencil to take notes in digital note-keeping software, but this can be cost-prohibitive. If you struggle with paper methods of organization, consider using note-taking software or even Google Docs to create a plain-text bullet journal so you can move things around.

That's all I've got! Please let me know if you found this guide helpful, and what other coping mechanism or ideas I should add to this (with credit to you!)

[babbushka]

hey z 👀 i recently have the huge urge to start drawing but i'm so bad at it :( i always doodle in all my classes but they are literally so bad until today where i realized that artists are freaking cool and i wanna learn how to draw properly. i searched on youtube but... then i remembered your beautiful work and that stream you did once and i wondered if you had any tips ? perhaps a book or a video ? to get started on how to draw... 😶

Hello my darling anon! I am so happy that you’ve decided to pursue making art, and I’m honored you came to me! As someone with a fine arts degree, I can absolutely give you some resources that might be worth checking out, but please know this one thing: art is entirely subjective. What one person thinks looks good, another may absolutely hate. As long as you’re happy, and enjoying the process, try not to fixate too much on the outcome. And always remember that representational art is not the only kind of art that is valid or worth celebrating! 

That being said, here are some things that I’ve learned are really beneficial to keep in mind, from my many years of drawing, painting, and sculpting:

(under a cut because it’s long lol)

RESEARCH! This is one of those things that I know may seem kind of counter-intuitive, but I fully believe that by surrounding yourself with art, you’ll be more inspired and informed and motivated to make your own. Browse through online galleries, learn about the different art movements and find ones you like, follow contemporary artists and really dive into the work that’s all around you! Notice the things you like most about the art you’re drawn to. Is it the style? The use of color? The textures or lack thereof? Is it the composition? What about the rendering? Are you drawn to more photo realistic work, or work that has a looser interpretation? You don’t know what you like until you start looking at asking yourself these questions! 

Use reference!! I know there is a taboo in the online art criticism community for using references, but honestly? References are incredibly helpful. Every great artist you can think of used a reference, whether that’s a live model in front of them, a collection of sketches done beforehand, or a collection of photographs taken and collaged together. Use reference with wild abandon! If you want to draw a bird, you will not be able to do so without looking at a picture of a bird. If you want to draw a person, you have to know what they look like, so go do some research and get to sketching!! 

Make studies. This kind of goes hand in hand with the reference. Find something that you like (an object, a person, a landscape) and try to replicate it. Notice the things that you manage to recreate successfully*, and the things that you might need to work more at. Then do it again, paying attention to the improvements. Rinse and repeat. 

Time restrict yourself. Often we get so hung up on the idea that everything we makes has to be a masterpiece, and everything has to be fully rendered. I believe that this stunts our ability to develop skills because if we’re hung up on perfection, we’ll never get to explore. So, challenge yourself to quick gestural drawings. 3 minutes. 5 minutes. 10 minutes. Capture the essence of the idea without worrying about the details. See how many things you can get down on the page in that time frame -- it doesn’t have to be good, it just has to Be. 

Now, onto books! These aren’t so much step-by-step guides (because really the only way to improve is to practice** but more on that later) but rather are aimed to help you open your eye to the idea of drawing. 

Drawing People:

Drawing for the Absolute and Utter Beginner by Claire Watson Garcia

Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards

Complete guide to drawing from life by George Bridgman

Anatomy for The Artist by Sarah Simblet

Drawing everything else:

Keys to Drawing by Bert Dodson

Landscape Painting: Essential Concepts and Techniques for Plein Air and Studio Practice by Mitchell Albala 

Perspective Made Easy by Ernest R. Norling

Learning about the different art movements and their key players:

Art Through the Ages by Helen Gardner

The Story Of Art by H. Gombrich

Ways Of Seeing by John Berger

Isms: Understanding Art by Stephen Little

As for videos, I can’t say that I have too many suggestions other than searching for things like speedpaints or timelapses. I think it’s really informative to watch how other people approach drawing on their own projects, and I always tend to learn something about process when I can just sit and observe the way they go about their piece. 

Clarifications:

* = When I say “successfully” I don’t necessarily mean photo-realism. I mean, when you are drawing, and when you’re finding your style, you should be conscious of how your work is reflecting that. Are you more abstract? Are you more impressionist? Are you more concerned with color and form rather than detail, or does detail mean the most to you? These are the things you have to keep in mind when determining if the work is “successful” or not. Is the piece evoking the feeling that you want it to have, is it going in the direction that you wanted it to, is it representative of your plans for the piece, etc. Successful =/= hyper-realism, unless of course, you are aiming for hyper-realism. 

** = Practice is, undoubtedly, inarguably, the most important thing to get better at any skill, but especially art. And do not be mistaken, art is a skill, just like anything else. People aren’t just born magical artistic geniuses, it is the result of hundreds of hours of practice, learning muscle memory, learning color theory and relationships, learning composition. Artists work hard to produce the content that we do, and that hard work should be celebrated! You’re going to work hard too, so embrace it :)

TLDR; Your art is unique to you. No matter what anyone says online or in books, you have to create the things that make you feel something. Don’t be afraid to experiment with styles or aesthetics that are outside of your comfort zone, and don’t feel like you have to stick to the rules that the art world has put in place. Practice practice practice, work hard, don’t give up, and have fun :) 

[twentiethcenturymoviesandtv]

12 Angry Men: The Characters

While 12 Angry Men has a remarkably small cast for a motion picture, the problem is that twelve of the cast members happen to be main characters.

Twelve is a large number of main characters to balance out, especially when you only see them over the course of one day, in only one setting.  The writers had the challenging job of making each character unique enough that the audience doesn’t mix them up, and while some of them are more distinct than others, each character is different enough so that the viewers can tell them apart.

As a result, 12 Angry Men is left with a surprisingly large main cast, full of characters that are neither infallible heroes, nor despicable villains.  Much like Casablanca, it would seem like this film has an issue deciding a protagonist, as the character who would seem to fulfill this role, Henry Fonda’s Juror #8, doesn’t have a ‘problem pertaining to the plot’ that’s unique from any of the other characters.  They all have the same problem: they need to come up with a verdict.  And indeed, this film would seem to be without a true protagonist if not for another element: the protagonist’s reaction towards the problem.

You see, while every other character begins the story either certain of the boy’s guilt, or just wanting to say they are so that the jury ordeal can be over with, it is only Juror #8 who believes that the case deserves a closer examination.  

As you may have guessed, today, we’re going to be examining the characters of 12 Angry Men, starting with our protagonist: Juror #8.  Let’s take a  look.  (Spoilers below!)

Juror #8 is a rather interesting protagonist in that, as I mentioned in previous articles, he could be any one of us.  He’s the ‘hero’ of the story, not because of any great feat, but because he was logical and thoughtful enough to take his job as a juror seriously enough to put real thought into the case at hand.  This is not a story about a man who is certain of his correctness, this is a story about a man who is uncertain about someone’s guilt, and there is a huge difference.  From the moment of his Establishing Character Moment of quiet reflection at the window, he’s in action to make sure that he, and the rest of the jury, comes to a fair, if not right, conclusion.  

Juror #8 never claims he is right, merely that he has reasonable doubt that leads him to believe that he might be right.  He wants to talk about the verdict, he wants to be careful, because a life is on the line.  He takes his responsibility seriously, and that, at first, is what sets him up as our protagonist.  It is his vote of ‘not guilty’ that gets the plot going proper, for without him, the film would have come to a whopping, depressing, ten minutes tops.

So, we know Juror #8 is responsible, and tries to be moral.  What else do we know about him?

For one thing, he’s sharp.

Juror #8 knows that he can’t convince anyone to change their vote without some good evidence, which he brings and addresses.  Bit by bit, he chips away the certainty around the testimonies, alibis, and evidence, bringing up arguments and doubts about the elements of the case that the other jurors are absolutely certain about.  He’s quick to figure out people’s angles and point out flaws in logic, and he’s not afraid to call out someone’s bias.  His exchange with Juror #3 proves this, as Juror #8 accuses him (rightfully so) of wanting to kill the defendant due to personal reasons.

Juror #8 is a Guile Hero, using his wits and brains to pick apart the evidence, the original Rogue Juror archetype, wanting to take his time to get through the facts.  He cares about getting to the bottom of the facts, and he wants to get the other jurors on the side of justice as well.

Wait a minute, you say.  I’ll buy that he’s the ‘hero’, but protagonists are supposed to change by the end of the story.  There’s no sign of that at all!

Honestly, you’re right.

Juror #8, while clearly being the ‘hero’ of the film never seems to ‘change’ by the end of the film.  In fact, he is the only character not to change, in vote as well as action.  So what are we to make of that?

If the rest of the cast were as immovable as Juror #8, I would agree that his ‘protagonist’ status would certainly be called into question, and we may indeed be left with a protagonist-less film, however, there is one element that prevents that from happening: the fact that the other jurors do change their minds.

He’s the grounding element for the audience, courageous and standing for human decency.  The point of his character is that he’s unyielding, unchanging in the face of peer pressure.  It is in his influence, his changing of the other characters, that his test as a protagonist comes.

Of course, he succeeds, but the road is difficult.  The first ally rallied to his cause, after a few minutes of deliberation, is Juror #9.

Juror #9 (Joseph Sweeney) is an observant Cool Old Guy, the Lancer to Juror #8.  His abilities in Awesomeness by Analysis play a huge part in convincing the remaining jurors to change their votes, by standing with Juror #8 against the pressure and displaying a great deal of insight and sympathy.  He’s also possessing of some pretty progressive ideas, not being bigoted like some of the younger jurors around him.  While needing some thought before changing his vote, Juror #9 is not afraid to speak his mind and morality, making him a valuable ally in changing the course of the vote.

Leading us to the next vote change: Juror #5.

Juror #5 (Jack Klugman) has a bit in common with the defendant, coming from a similar background.  He also grew up in the slums, and takes it quite personally that some of the jurors think that that’s suitable explanation for murder.  He’s an invaluable addition, as it is his experience witnessing knife-fights that leads to the debunking of the grip necessary for the boy to have murdered his father.  He’s a Nice Guy from a rough neighborhood, and ends up producing some key points in favor of the Not Guilty verdict.

Next to switch his vote is Juror #11 (George Voskovec), a man with Immigrant Patriotism, faith in the American dream of democracy and justice.  The ‘Token Minority’ of the twelve, Juror #11 begins thinking of, and asking his own questions that can’t be satisfyingly answered with the evidence given.  He’s a polite man, with a great concern with being fair and upright.  In fact, it is one of his lines that best sums up the point of the film:

“We have a responsibility. This is a remarkable thing about democracy. That we are … what is the word? … Ah, notified! That we are notified by mail to come down to this place and decide on the guilt or innocence of a man we have not known before. We have nothing to gain or lose by our verdict. This is one of the reasons why we are strong. We should not make it a personal thing.”

He is here to remind us of the seriousness of jury duty, the importance of justice and fairness.  His character warns us not to take our privileges for granted, something that we need to be reminded of.  He is strong-minded, of strong character, and strong-willed

Leading us to the next switch in votes: Juror #2.

Juror #2 (John Fielder) is a timid man who doesn’t seem to have much of a backbone at first.  He’s an Extreme Doormat, unable to really explain his opinions, tending to go along with the tide at first.  As the film progresses, he does grow more of a spine, later evidenced by bringing up the question of the stab wound, which had been bothering him.  Had he been more timid, there’s a possibility that the vote might have swapped once more, and Juror #8’s cause would be lost.

Then there’s Juror #6 (Edward Binns).

Juror #6 doesn’t have a whole lot of personality, admittedly.  He doesn’t have a lot of dialogue, but he is fair minded, willing to change his mind if proven wrong.  His chief moment of character is standing up to Juror #3’s interrupting of Juror #9, telling him that he ought to have more respect for his elders.  In the end, Juror #6’s character is the switching point, announcing the stalemate, 6 to 6 for a vote.

The balance is changed again by Juror #7 (Jack Warden).

Juror #7 is a self-absorbed person, whose chief concern in the film is the baseball tickets ‘burning a hole’ in his pocket.  There’s a game he wants to get to, and his chief concern is voting whichever way that will get him out the fastest.  He pretends to be offended when his motives are questioned, but it’s clear that he’s just concerned with leaving.  Unfortunately, his is the attitude we can most easily see happening in ourselves with the same task, distracted with Skewed Priorities and too busy being a Deadpan Snarker to put forth the effort our legal system deserves.

The next vote for Not Guilty goes to Juror #12 (Robert Webber), a Charmer and a Ditherer, almost as easily swayed as Juror #2.  He works in an advertising agency, and spends most of the proceedings doodling or playing tic-tac-toe with the other jurors, too busy to pay attention.  He approaches jury much like a board meeting, and as a result, his opinions aren’t all that substantial.  All the same, he does become the eighth to side with Juror #8, further cementing the majority.

Following him is Juror #1, (Martin Balsam) the Foreman, a reasonable man who just wants this organized.  He’s a football coach, a soft-spoken Reasonable Authority Figure who is willing to take charge and keep everyone in order.  He’s always trying to reign things in and keep them under control, a vital element to the powder-keg that is the remainder of the jury.

Especially the next vote change: Juror #10 (Ed Begley).

One of the closest things this film has to an antagonist, the constantly coughing, Politically Incorrect Villain Juror #10 doesn’t need any evidence.  To him, the boy’s background is enough.  He’s a bitter, bigoted, racist Hate Sink, convinced begrudgingly to change his vote after his Villianous Breakdown rant, defeated by the lack of support from his peers.  

One of the final holdouts, though not a villain, is Juror #4 (E.G. Marshall), another Reasonable Authority Figure and an Implacable Man.  He is very logical and reasonable, holding out on changing his vote not out of malice, but of genuine concern for the facts.  Wearing a set of Stoic Spectacles (Smart People Wear Glasses, after all), Juror #4 serves as a Hero Antagonist version of The Spock, countering with good arguments and valid questions.  In the end, after his own reasons are shaken, Juror #4 graciously admits this and changes his vote, leaving us with the other closest thing this film has to an antagonist: Juror #3.

Juror #3 (Lee J. Cobb) is a bitter Big Bad with a Hair Trigger Temper, the Evil Counterpart to Juror #8.  In a case of Believing Your Own Lies, Juror #3 is convinced he is impartial, the chief advocate for the death penalty of the group without realizing he is projecting his bad relationship with his son onto the case.  He, too, switches his vote after a Villainous Breakdown, and Paper Destruction of Anger, but it is important to note that this is a Villainy-Free Villain, a Tragic Villain.

Juror #3 believes his opinion is firmly rooted in the facts, but it becomes very clear as the film progresses that he doesn’t really have as good a leg to stand on as he seems to think.  His anger at the defendant is anger at his son, anger at all sons who ‘disrespect’ their fathers.  He is unable to get his way in his family, and in the jury, and the result causes his bluster, and his inevitable downfall.  In the end, after a Heel Realization, he changes his vote, the final Not Guilty.

As with all the characters, we don’t know if he changed his mind or his ways.  For all we know, these men lived the rest of their lives untouched by the events in the jury room on the hottest day of the year, and honestly, that’s not a huge surprise.

These men, while not sharing the same backgrounds as many of us, are meant to be us.  We are given a responsibility, a privilege to affect the decisions in our system of justice.  We are meant to use it, to take advantage of it, and as a result, we are visible in these men.  Whether we’re crusaders for justice, impatient and dismissive, bitter and resentful, or simply taking it for granted, these twelve angry men are us, the audience.  It is up to us who we try to emulate, what values we hold dear, and how clearly we view them.

It is the ambiguity and the sheer brutal honesty in which these characters are depicted that this film’s legacy is made.  Twelve men without names (aside from two in the epilogue) all too real to be comfortable for American audiences.  This is, if not a realistic film, a real film, a mirror held to ourselves and our views on the systems we live with.  It’s up to us to decide what we do once we catch a glimpse of the reflection.

Thank you guys so much for reading!  Don’t forget that the ask box is always open for questions, suggestions, discussions, or just saying hi.  I hope to see you all in the next article.

[lemongogo]

SO NEW YEAR. I need to start practising things that'll actually improve my art 'skills' right? WELL. How do I do that

yeah of course !! i guess it really depends on what you want to improve and how seriously you want to dive into learning new techniques. i seriously slacked in motivating myself last year, so you and i can work to better our art together !!

most importantly, you should aim to draw every single day. ideally, i would shoot for at least 30 minutes a day, regardless of what you choose to do (sketching, working on a larger project, coloring, scribbling to improve line strength and arm movements, etc.). that might not always be attainable due to a busy schedule/life in general, but i think even a good 5 minutes at the very least can be beneficial in disciplining yourself to take a moment to focus on ur art. especially when you feel like you can’t/don’t want to draw. sometimes you’ll dread it, but once you lay down a few lines, you slowly start to get into the groove and it ends up not being so bad by the end of it :-)

next, i recommend working on developing good warm-up habits! before you even draw, take a few minutes to stretch your arms and wrists. address your posture, relax the tension from your body. and when it comes time to pick up the pencil, start out with very basic lines, circles, curves, etc. work on pushing and pulling your lines when appropriate. grow your line confidence & stop relying so much on quick repetitive strokes to complete shapes. shade different areas w various pressures, etc. essentially just scribble and doodle on scrap paper to loosen your grip & toy w the very very basics.

then, take some time to focus on observational studies ! they are so important. so important !!!! it’s so easy to look @ these and push them off in favor of what you rly want to draw but promise me you’ll at least do one a week. at the v least. take the time to look at shadows and structures around you . pictures can be great resources for things you dont have immediate access to, but observing how objects exist in three dimensions w perspective, light sources, etc. will do exponentially more for ur improvement than pictures ever will. if you intend to draw people, this includes gesture poses. i recommend looking into nearby life drawing resources in your area that offer weekly sessions (usually for a v low price, usually

in addition to that, consume a lot of media !! find movies, shows, comics, fanart, etc that you really really enjoy. such gives you the opportunity to incorporate different aspects of the things you love into your own art in order to evolve your style. furthermore, it just widens your grasp on new concepts, topics, and ideas.

and @ the end of the day, draw for yourself. satisfaction w ur art comes when you’re not worried w how others perceive it. obs if you’re posting your art online you can’t rly shake that nagging thought but like. draw what you want to draw. in the styles you want to draw them in, w the colors you really adore. if you want to try something rly rly new but are scared of how it might turn out, experimentation is such a wonderful tool that’ll also push you towards improvement. if it starts to become more of a chore than something you find pleasure in, ask yourself what’s holding u back and what you can do differently :-)

[studysnooze]

i kind of felt like i needed to make this post because i have been stressed out of my actual mind as of late and that isn’t helping me with my anxiety so i thought i would share some tips with you guys- friends in hopes that this helps you and also in turn helps me bc i am s t r u g g l i n g right now haha 

If you find yourself in panic attack/mental breakdown situations (during studying, sleeping, whenever):

1. TAKE A DEEP BREATH: this is legit some of the most underrated advice but this is so so so so so important. i often find myself holding my breath without thinking and even if you look stupid forcing yourself to breath between shaking and crying just do it. please. you will instantly feel better because bottling things up is legit the most toxic thing you could do to yourself

2. if the resource is there: talk to someone. talk to a trusted adult like a teacher, mentor, counselor, or even your parents. i know how it is: you might not trust them, believe me- i have had a fair share of adults who have let me down from time to time and trust me, once you find someone that is perfect for you to talk to, you will cherish that person for the rest of your life. I will never forget my first middle school counselor, i don’t know her name mainly because i was having a panic attack when i met her but i’ll remember her face and her hospitality forever. and she was a stranger to me at the time: sometimes you need that outside stranger to talk to you know? that way, you get a less biased? (idk weird wording there but you get it) response

3. FOOD AND WATER: i cannot tell you how bad i am at drinking water like it’s hopeless at this point but its SOOO important for you! pleaseee drink water. i think water tastes like nothing and it’s pointless to drink it but that is really crazy thinking so don’t follow me on that please because i am seriously working on it these days and my skin has started to clear up majorly but i also feel so much better in general? like hydration does wonders i’m serious- you might not even notice but it’s doing something nice at least to your body. food food food food food please eat something. i know sometimes when i dont eat a few meals because i am so caught up in work, i forget what it feels like to be hungry and that is absolutely ridiculous, do not skip that many meals. i don’t care if your grade depends on it tomorrow for chem or that you need to finish your slide for that group project: if you cannot remember what you ate last literally drop whatever you are doing and get a freaking granola bar- not even- get a sandwich, some chips, and a water or a salad or some carrots and hummus LITERALLY ANYTHING put it in your mouth and chew it slowly and savor your food and thank the universe that your food is making you more energetic to complete your work because honestly not eating makes you feel so weak and it shuts you down. and you know what? when you shut down, it gives you more room to be stressed and anxious because that happens to me too many times in my life and it is the worst feeling in the world: being anxious, sleep deprived, weak :( its not okay and i need my people to stop suffering so eat your carrots kiddos❤

4. nap! this is also extremely simple but soooo underrated. literally nap for like 10 minutes and you will feel SO GOOD afterwards. i know it takes me at least 30 minutes to fall asleep because that’s just me but as soon as i feel sleepy, i turn on my alarm. shutting your brain off for a few minutes does wonders: it actually recharges and resets your brain for a little bit and as long as you don’t sleep for too long, you will wake up more motivated than ever before! 

4.5 going off of the previous point: if you are truly tired, sleep. sleep. sleep. i cannot tell you this enough. there is absolutely no point and no shame in going to bed if you have a headache, your eyes are closing and you cannot focus anymore. plain and simple: it’s just a major waste of time and you will have to end up studying it again anyways. i try to get to bed around 11 which i know is already pushing the late boundaries but if you go to sleep and really, truly, need to finish your work in the morning, wake up a couple hours earlier and finish it quickly- maybe catch a few more z’s. it’s better to get your hours in earlier and wake up feeling better than going to bed at 4:30 (cough thanks nonso) and waking up 3 minutes before school because you shut off your alarm. i’m only telling you guys my stupid mistakes just so you know there are consequences to not following this advice people- this is first hand experience haha

5. TAKE YA MEDS KIDDOS: that’s literally it, you may have forgotten and now are in deep doodoo with yourself whoops set a reminder

if you have trouble sleeping/resting at night or whenever:

1. i have had trouble staying asleep throughout the night for the past few years now. i’m not sure how it started but my brain is just too hot wired these days to stay put: there are some quick things i do when i wake up shaking, panicking, restless, miserable, whatever in the middle of the night: 

 listen to rain sounds on spotify

listen to my favorite podcasts (i gotta make a post about this, message me if you want podcasts like asap after reading this something)

watch “planet earth” or “round planet” on netflix-  round planet is by BBC so there’s that old british guy talking and i think it’s nice :) overall, it’s super therapeutic i highly recommend 

make a warm cup of tea or milk: i usually put honey and cinnamon in my milk or honey in my tea and it’s quite nice i think, it makes me sleepy again

sometimes i wrap myself in extra blankets and cuddle with more stuffed animals to help me fall/fall back asleep. i think there is some nostalgic feeling about being tucked in and being all warm and safe that makes me calm down again i’m not sure why 

if you’re having trouble focusing while studying (i got through this at least once a day omg):

1. take a breather! drinks a glass of cold water, stare around the room for a bit, walk around the neighborhood or the house or the library or wherever you are for a bit- get that blood flowing again

2. look at something motivational! i have a motivation tag kind of thing on my page called #feelgood so you can check it out if you want haha but there are tons of motivational videos and posts from the studyblr community so :)

3. study something you are interested first! this is by far the most useful study advice i have ever received because it motivates me to subconsciously focus my brain and keep me in a “grind” kind of mood 

3.5 related to the previous point, study in small chunks! also switch up on the subject if you get bored.

4. do a hobby! i LOVE reading for fun during study breaks or when i can’t focus especially when i’m super interested in the book because i get sucked into that universe and after i finish a chapter i want to finish more work in order to keep reading- it’s great. i also love doodling intricate designs on my moleskine to keep my busy and i also like writing poems or editing photos. just find something that is calming to you in order to give your brain a break! once you have that little reset, i promise you will feel better going back to work 

5. stop studying? sometimes i burnt out in the middle of studying and you just have to realize when you’ve reached your limit for the night/day so just stop and get some sleep, there’s nothing wrong with sleeping or taking a rest just a reminder <3 and sometimes that means you can get back to your work later or not and that’s okay :)

along with my finals series, i’m going to dedicate an entire post for reasons as to why you should stop comparing yourself so look for that in the next couple of days or so :) 

and just a reminder that you can do it! no matter your barriers you WILL overcome them with flying colors and you will have an amazing summer very soon✨

love,

Nonso

[jenatwork]

Mental illness and self-care at work

 I’ve had more than one person (including my doctor, ugh) suggest to me that, since I hold down a full-time (and fairly high-level) job, my mental illness can’t be all that bad.

Not true. It’s not uncommon for people with mental illnesses to work full-time, to reach high levels of management or be self-employed and successful. I’m lucky to have a job that I genuinely like, working for an NPO, and my job is my reason for getting out of bed in the morning. In previous jobs, I absolutely have been unwilling to get up or leave the house, taken long stretches of sick-leave or resigned when a job wouldn’t enable me to take time off when I needed it. And even in this job that I love, I struggle a lot, and often can’t do much in the evenings when I get home.

The reason I get by at work is because I’ve developed a ton of self-care strategies and coping mechanisms so that even when I’m tearing myself up inside, I can still get shit done.

 1.       Dress for work.

My job has a fairly relaxed dress code, and if I want to wear jeans and a T-shirt I actually can (and sometimes do). But on days when I’m wearing a button-down shirt or a smart dress, it makes me feel ‘managerial’. It puts me in a work-ready frame of mind before I even leave the house. In previous jobs where I had a uniform, I felt better when my uniform looked good – shirt ironed, smart shoes, and so on. I’m not at work to get a date; I’m here to lead my team and run my shop, and looking the part is like putting on a costume to get me into character.

 2.       Wear stuff you like.

Having said all that, wearing a bit of jewellery or a pair of socks that make me smile helps too! So I’ll wear my button-down shirt, but I’ll wear a pair of dinosaur earrings, or a Pride wristband, or my BMO socks, and get a little reminder of something that makes me smile. My Line Manager actually notices and makes positive comments (I’m lucky to have a Line Manager who appreciates that I’m unapologetically nerdy). If you can’t wear pierced jewellery, wear character socks or a tie-pin or put a keychain on your bag.

 3.       Take packed lunches.

Even if it’s a sandwich you made five minutes before you left the house, it can be a reminder that you did something positive to take care of yourself. When I’m feeling well, I take time to make elaborate decobento boxes or try new recipes. When I’m doing okay, I do meal-prep while making my dinner in the evening (or make extra and pack up the left-overs). When I’m not doing well, I have packets of ramen and small cans of veggies that I can heat up in the microwave at work. Taking even a few minutes to plan ahead and save a bit of money makes me feel like I’ve got some control and am looking after myself. Also, as I have ASD, I have issues with food choice, and if I have to buy a sandwich at the supermarket and they don’t have what I like I can have a full-on meltdown before I even get to work, so packed lunches eliminate that possibility.

 4.       Have healthy snacks available.

Obviously this isn’t possible for everyone, but if you have an office or a break-room and can keep your own food, it helps. I keep cereal and a pack of dried fruit in my office for when I couldn’t manage to make breakfast or if I forget my packed lunch or just want to keep myself from raiding the staff biscuit tin. Eating healthy food regularly also means your brain has fuel to work and focus.

 5.       Use a planner.

I started bullet journaling two years ago, and it’s had a big impact on managing my mental health. As well as helping to organise work stuff, I have spaces for doodling and bullet journaling, so if things get too much I can sit at my desk and have five minutes just putting the bad thoughts down on paper. It probably looks a bit overly dramatic when I read it back later, but at the time, it really helps me to put my thoughts in order and get some stuff out of my system. Plus it’s a way to switch off from work but still look like I’m doing something productive if anyone walks by my office!

 6.       Delegate tasks.

If you’re a supervisor, team leader or manager, trying to do everything yourself can be tempting. My mental illness often makes me feel like I’m worthless if I’m not doing everything myself, but then if I do too much I tire myself out and literally can’t do anything. So I’ve had to work hard to learn to delegate stuff to my team. But I’ve realised that delegating actually helps to remind myself that I’m in charge and I’m managing a team, not just running a business. It takes a bit of effort sometimes to train staff to do something they haven’t done before, but training someone on one specific task saves you a ton of time and energy in the future when you can hand the job to them (or even get them to train someone else!)

 7.       Personalise your work space.

Again, this doesn’t work for everyone. I have a tiny cubbyhole of an office with no door so anyone can walk in at any time. But I have a couple of photographs of my niece pinned up above my computer. Three years ago, when I was at my absolute lowest, the one thing that kept me from killing myself was thinking that I’d never get to see my niece grow up. I also collect little plastic dinosaurs on a bit of empty shelf space, and sometimes my staff even bring one to add to the collection!

 8.       Take breaks.

If you’re bound to take breaks when you’re told to, make the most of them. Have something to read or something relaxing to do (not video games – give your eyes a screen break and enjoy time passing slowly for a while). Sit away from your usual work space. This one is tough for me because we don’t have a break room and I can’t really leave the building, so I switch off my monitor and read or write in my planner.

 9.       Work in short bursts.

When I’m really struggling mentally, I can’t focus on anything for very long. So I work on one thing for about half an hour, then move to a different part of the shop and do something else. I take short breaks – maybe five minutes – then go back to task for another half hour or so.

 10.   Record your achievements.

I do this in my planner, but anywhere you can keep a list works. It’s especially useful on those days when I’m working in short bursts. Even if it’s stuff like ‘answered an e-mail’ or ‘submitted supplies order’, stuff I do daily, having that reminder that I’m getting stuff done helps to keep me motivated.

 11.   Encourage and appreciate others.

Honestly, this is the one I often find the hardest. When my mood is low and I’m isolated from friends, find the mental energy to praise other people seems almost impossible. But it keeps my team motivated and means they’ll work hard even if I’m not. I find that delegating tasks is easiest if my team feel like I’m someone they want to work for. Plus saying positive things to others can help lift my mood when I see them feeling encouraged.

 None of this stuff is intended to be a magical quick-fix. It’s stuff that requires mental and physical effort. I don’t do all of them all of the time (I wore jeans and a T-shirt at work today, and I’m really struggling with the ‘encouraging others’ bit lately since my mood has been particularly low). But putting in that effort is an investment in both my job and my mental health. Yes, it does often leave me exhausted by the end of the day. But putting the effort into my job means I build my sense of self-worth (when I’m unwell and my friends aren’t reaching out to me, I remind myself that my job benefits tons of other people). It means I can pay my bills, and live independently, and have money to do fun stuff when I am feeling well.

I realise this isn’t ‘fairy lights and blanket forts’ fluffy self-care, but I hope this shows it’s possible to hold down a job with a mental illness (and also serves as a reminder that your colleagues who seem like they’ve got their shit together might actually be struggling as well).

[schizophrenic-god]

Artwork By @skaem_onez Thanks for the shares btw!! Here’s a concept collage art I just made like 15 minutes ago. I’m glad I never had music or much art vaulted or stored for later use.. My styles evolve variously throughout phases within my life and mind.. even if I end up making zero cents I know I’ll still be able to exist happy and enjoy my life.. cigarettes 🚬have been eating away at that feeling tho.. more I share the more my eyes open and I stay awake and up for more projects.. there’s is probably new things and information I have yet to learn about that will have me making like 5 more projects in the future on top of the current major and even side projects.. skaem1.com has been doing greater and I don’t interact with it as much.. I have a article I will begin by tonight to focus on the vision of it past the next few years.. I should share one of my first art, graffiti and sketches after this post. I used to draw in pen a lot.. I want to share information and experiences with everyone so you can also learn and be motivated to get back or to start creating things like art.. the future is looking great even tho it may seem inanimate or on hold.. popoganda & street art is something I knew I was going to end up doing someday and the time is here to bring out the best ideas and imagination wishing my mind. Btw this is more of a digital doodle or something quick.. I think I can be quicker and more creative/better. This one helped me evade a potential episode due to withdrawal symptoms and lack of nicotine... didn’t feel as normal or calm but it felt like excitement and more hyped possibly due to coffee ☕️?! ..all I know for sure is a lot.. and I’m willing to put it into art and music.. I don’t feel like #stevejobs #google.. maybe the mentality of #waltdisney when he was drawing in his garage by himself.. eventually he seemed to lay down the foundation and blueprint.. basically has a empire or 2. Banksy & Ron English + Shepard Fairy are a few examples of my favorite arts of course.. but there’s is also more than have to be discovered!!! #cryptocurrency #skaem #nft #streetart #graffitiart #fkaskam #collageart #abstractart #digitalgallery #cryptoartgallery https://www.instagram.com/p/CMqTJRAH-lr/?igshid=l15z6ib1wegu

[storytimejustice]

Avery Wolters

1.How do they present themselves to others?

Cutsie little girl

2.Do they like animals?

Yes and her favorite animals are pegasi

3.How do they dress?

Like a typical little girl

4.How many languages do they know?

Just one

5.How big is their family?

Her family is just the rebellion as her parents were members of a branch that was taken down and got taken in my the core after her parents were killed by Rixheia

6.What is their purpose in the story?

She is a supportive character but has possession magic so she can leave her body and go into another for awhile and get information

7.Do they know how to fight?

Yes she uses a collapsible spear and can use whomever she possesses magic for a little bit after returning to her body

8.What is their back story?

Grew up with rebel parents who were children that were in the Chimera Blade school for young mages ran by the Starlights but when they were killed Nova took her into the core rebel base and taught her how to fight and use enchantments

9.Why is their name, their name?

Honestly I don’t remember lol it just came to me

10.Do they have any nicknames?

Sometimes she goes by A or Angel when on missions and trying to remain hidden

11.Do they have a romantic interest?

Nope

12.How do they cope with struggles?

With how young she was when her parents died that’s really the only struggle she’s dealt with but is too young to remember them

13.Do they have anyone they can lean on?

Nova and her housemates whom all act like older siblings towards her

14.How do they react to someone dying?

She’s only really dealt with seeing enemies die and then she doesn’t really feel anything. Especially since sometimes she casts an enchantment and makes them kill themselves

15.Can you name 5 personality traits they have?

Nope just 3

Sweet

Brave

Sneaky

16.How did they become a character?

I don’t remember I just remember I wanted new characters that were born with new natural abilities (like her possession)

17.Do they get along with others?

Of course

18.What flaws do they have?

The only role model she’s had are other kids and a time traveler so she’s kinda got a bipolar personality trait from not knowing how to control herself sometimes

19.How do they influence the story?

Her possession magic is used to get information

20.What do they look like?

She’s tan and has freckles. She is fairly tall for her age as well with long brown hair and golden eyes.

21.What are their hobbies?

She actually loves to use her enchantment magic because it gives her a rush of adrenaline every time.

22.Do they like children?

Well she is a child. So. No.

23.How do they react to being around wild animals?

She normally uses enchantments to calm them so she can get near.

24.If they were given the task to prank someone, who would it be, what would they do, and would the prank work?

She’s not really into doing pranks

25.Do they have any survival skills?

I mean if she’s killed she can switch into the body of who killed her a split second prior to where they wind up dying in her body and then she stays in the new body until her body is healed.

26.Are they more book smart or street smart?

A good mix but more street smart

27.How do they get out of a difficult situation?

When in doubt enchant your way out.

28.Do they use their body, mind, personality, or force to get what they want?

She usually just uses those little kid sad eyes to get her way

29.What music do they enjoy?

She loves classical and heavy metal music

30.How do they overcome obstacles?

She usually will ask for help from her housemates

31.When faced with a difficult decision do they get stronger or break?

She gets stronger

32.Do they have any special powers?

POSSESSION (Any ghost can do it in less than one lesson)

33.How do they change throughout the story?

She doesn’t change too much but she does become slightly scared of her possession ability towards the end after learning that when she takes over a body it kills the soul in that body.

34. Do they have any friends? If so, are they close knit?

Yes her and her household act just like siblings.

35.How is their family life?

No parents but her replacement family is loving

36.Are they likable?

Of course

37.Are they the hero, or anti-hero?

Hero

38.Do they make questionable choices?

Definitely

39.How do they become who they are?

When a mission goes wrong she makes everyone hide and sacrifices herself before learning about her possession ability which kicked in when she got scared

40.How was their childhood?

Grew up in danger most of her life but she is still a kid

41.Are they close with anyone who is going to screw them over?

Nope

42.How do they adapt to different situations? Do they adapt at all?

Every new body she enters she has to adapt to their height, weight, senses, and magic abilities along with their magical energy levels.

43.How do they speak? Examples - Are they soft spoken, hot headed, vulgar

Pretty softly and fast paced

44.Are they opposed to violence?

No but tries to avoid it as much as possible

45.When is their birthday?

April 20th

46.Are they quick to judge?

Not at all

47.Do they have anything they are trying to hide from others?

She’s very open to the rebel group

48.Do they act different around different people?

Nope she’s very open

49.Do they enjoy the arts?

She loves to doodle even though she isn’t very good at it

50.Do they like science?

Not at all

51.Are they more emotional or logical?

As she is still a kid she is more emotional

52.How do they deal with their emotions?

Depending on how strong the emotions are

53.How do they cope with sadness?

She isn’t really infected with sadness often

54.What is something they care about?

She would die for her rebel family

55.Would they die for anyone/anything?

To save her family

56.What do they do when they are happy?

She does love to explore around the rebel base because the environment seems to shift strangely every once in awhile since they’re close to the northern section of the world turning right on the world's axis. (They’re on the thin center section that goes left and the southern section also goes right) 

57.How would they come across to other characters? Examples - Messy, lazy, childish, caring, etc

Caring and soft

.

58.Do they have a phrase they use over and over?

Nope but she does have a favorite enchantment she uses that slows time

59.In a crowded room are they in the corners, sides, or in the middle?

Sides

60. Are they comfortable being in a crowded room?

Not really since she’s shorter and not able to be seen easily

61.How do they relax?

She enjoys helping make weapons and tools and charming them

62.Have they ever harmed anyone and regretted it? Verbally or physically?

No

63.Do they like to dance?

Not really

64.How do they get around their environment? Examples - Horses, bike, vehicles

Riding horses and arctic wolves

65.What is their pet peeve(s)?

Doesn’t really have any

66.Do they have a disability?

No

67.How do they react to getting flowers?

She’s never received flowers before

68.Would they ever wear a flower crown?

Unlikely but is a possibility

69.Do they like themselves?

Yes although she does wind up fearing her possession ability

70.Who do they dislike?

She doesn’t really dislike anything

71.What is their motto?

Doesn’t have one

72.Do they have any markings on their body?

She gets a scar from her spear being jutted through her

73.Have they ever been abused?

Absolutely not

74.What is their biggest fear?

Losing Nova as he has become a father figure to her

75.What are their goals?

She has a goal to take back Primwall and reclaim her parents honor

76.How do they go about achieving their goals?

She doesn’t really see any goals that she needs

77.Do they have a fight or flight response?

Flight

78.Is there someone in their life that they care about more than themselves?

Anyone that comes into it really

79.How would they fair in the zombie apocalypse?

She’d probably become a zombie fairly quick

80.Do they have any tattoos? If so, are they significant?

Nope

81.Are they good at mental math?

A little bit but not too great. More of an English girl

82.Do they get along with others?

Yes

83.Are they lazy?

Absolutely not

84.Are they self motivated?

About 98% of the time

85.How do they cope with anger?

Doesn’t feel anger enough to really need to cope with it

86.Have they ever been in a situation where they were helpless?

No

87.Are they organized or messy?

She’s pretty messy

88.Can they remember a lot of information at once?

Not really

89.What is their occupation?

She’s a rebel child and an enchanter

90.Do other characters respect your OC, if so, is it out of fear? Or do they respect your OC because they like them?

She’s not well known but the characters that do know her enjoy her

91.If they were given minutes to live, what would they do? Who would they want to see and say?

Say goodbye and thank you to Nova for bringing her in

92.How do they deal with stress?

Doesn’t really have much stress

93.Do they have a more submissive or dominant personality type?

Submissive

94.Do they have a pet?

No

95.Do they have a stash of weapons?

No

96.Where do they live? Who do they live with?

Near Elkmire Castle in the village of Emera

97.How do they calm themselves down?

Counting backwards

98.Are they dependent?

Very

99.How do they react to people telling them they’re wrong?

She actually enjoys it because it gives her a chance to learn.

100.Are they a day, or a night person?

Night

[book-o-scams]

What do you think of the Kanker's presence in Jingle Jingle Jangle? How is it different from their other appearances?

OKAY I FINALLY DID IT!  Step right up and see analysis of the Kankers’ parts of Jingle Jingle Jangle!  Only 3 or 4 weeks late!

First of all, in case I never analyze this special in full, I want to call out that this whole way of connecting the Eds’ A Plot to the Kankers’ B Plot is complete nonsense.... randomly discarded and forgotten flashlight + conveniently placed mirror = reflection of light pointed at the sky = Star of Bethlehem that uses Godlight to deliver sexual harassment to the main characters???  It is a purely visual idea, and what’s worse it seemingly has no meaning....  is it punishment for wasting a battery??  Then what was the point of the special’s other Chekhov’s lightbulb!?

Was that just a spiritual redemption, but not an escape from his punishment?  

Is it punishment for breaking his parents’ trust?  

Is it just to say the Kankers’ lives are sadder and this universe’s god prioritizes them above the Eds or anyone else?

Or is the Snow itself an entity, like the Static?  Both are terms to refer to television fuzz….  

Is Evil Tim in control of the holidays, with all the magical Santas and Elves and Monsters that get to appear in these episodes???  

The Snow is even the first thing to appear, in detailed close-up for one time, before the rest of the universe fades into existence, ushering Plank (and Jonny) into the digital era before the Eds OR the Kankers get to appear at all, and scenes where the snow is coming down are markedly more abstract and focused on the characters being quiet and internalizing their emotions.  

Is supernature itself overwhelming the characters at will and leading them to cruel fates!?  

Is the supersnow meant as a warning of the literal and figurative after-effects bound to invade any show switching to digital!?  

SOMEBODY STOP ME!

The snow even just fades out when Eddy’s light starts glowing.

I’m sorry to begin with a whole silly rant. It’s just that Christmas specials are normally the one episode of any show that can be counted on to let the main characters have a win.  The show was set to end with its stagnant nihilistic 4th season, so it was a miracle to get the holiday specials or digital era at all...  So this Kanker ending stung more than usual.

That said, this special has won me over as an adult!  The series’ first foray into digital animation looks really gorgeous and it’s such a visually driven special, you can’t look away.   The animation is unfortunately a little better than the digital era could make consistent, but it’s close enough to feel like the same show as everything that came before and after it.  Definitely some of the most experimental style choices the show ever made. I’m always so glad the backgrounds are still hand-painted throughout Jingle Jingle Jangle.

I’m fascinated by the way this star is clearly a digital effect, but at the same time it avoids being too high quality for EEnE by mostly looking like a dry brush (like when they do those paint-blurs when the characters move fast), and animating the star as white outlines with no color inside when they could easily do a real light effect is an interesting choice.  It captures the eery prettiness the star’s role demands without betraying the show’s sketchiness.

I really like the music direction this whole special, but this opening to the Kankers’ Christmas is one of my favorite parts.  It is about a minute long and starts 2 and a half minutes into the special.

As we start hearing dialogue from Lee, the camera whips down to the trailer park and the Kankers’ theme music drums in.  This is the one time the show really made me aware the Kankers have a theme so now I always keep an ear out for that music cue.  I know it fills most of their appearances in Big Picture Show.

Inside, the Kankers sit and squabble as always, playing with a box of Krazy Krackers.  Apparently Christmas Crackers are a more popular thing in the UK (the show had a lot of UK influence around this time, with Rachel Connor joining as head writer in the next season), but I think it’s been confirmed to be a Canadian thing too now.

Room analysis!   The Kankers seem to have to make do when it comes to decorations… They have lights on the staircase and around the windows, and a cute wreathe with a red light on top of their TV, but their tree is a lone stick that has 7 branches if it’s lucky, it’s plugged into the wall yet the one light on it isn’t working, and most of the ornaments seem to be recyclables, barbed wire, or orbs that have fallen from the tree.  Oven mitts have been hung from the wall in place of stockings and rather than garland, they’ve trimmed their living room with chains, fishing lures and… are those shower curtain lines?

This is probably the most the show really gets across how big of an economic difference there is between the cul-de-sac and the trailer park.  The kids, even Ed and Eddy (unfortunately we see little of Edd’s family’s Christmas traditions), seem to have very gaudy and extravagant decorations, most of them appear to be expecting family or coworker Christmas parties later in the evening.  The Kankers’ trailer is sparse by comparison.

Marie being the least cheery at Christmas is probably the most punk thing about her..

Focusing Kanker scenes on May is pretty typical of this point in the series, but I like how infallibly nice May is in this one.  Marie tries to blow the Christmas cracker up in May’s face, and yet May barely reacts to the threat level here as anything out of the ordinary.  Then again, this scene likely exaggerates how much these things are like firecrackers.

May calls the cracker a dud, so of course Lee razzes her, “just like you, huh, May?”  This moment has a good undertone of Lee trying to readjust Marie’s negativity to more of a light ribbing, to fit the season.

REALLY COOL DIGITAL DRYBRUSH EXPLOSION EFFECTS…

What’s the deal with this eyepatch on Marie though?  Is this just a “under the bangs” teaser gag like the one frame three-eyed Lee in BPS?  The artists don’t try nearly as hard to hide Marie’s full face as they do Lee’s….  Is it just an unexplained one-episode injury like Jimmy’s?  

so glad even the digital X-mas special gets inverted frames, one of the most interesting visual features of the series’ early episodes

Good honest reactions of concern for May from Marie and Lee..

WHAT IS THIS A HALLOWEEN SPECIAL!?

“Look, Lee, May got a makeover~!”

….how desensitized have they become to slapstick!?  Sarah and Jimmy react to a similar gag with Eddy casually decapitating Ed next season with utter horror and confusion!

Apparently the most important thing here is that Marie wasn’t left out of getting a crown.

5 fingers on her right hand for one pose…

Note that the Kankers have replaced their wall unit’s knick knacks with Christmas cards from their invisible friends and family! 

 “Joy”

 “HAVE A XMAS” 

“From Your Father” (please appreciate this rare acknowledgement of the likelihood of a preferred Kanker dad)

“Ho Ho Ho” 

“Happy Kwanza” (also the one acknowledgment of other winter holidays in this Christmas special and I don’t think it’s even spelled correctly… I thought for sure at least JIMMY would celebrate Hanukkah or something…)

“[doodle of a candy cane]”

“DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE?” 

one of this special’s many references to classic holiday staples, in this case the song, ‘Do You Hear What I Hear?’  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_You_Hear_What_I_Hear%3F

“Something twinkling in the sky!”

This opening scene to their plot starts the Kankers off as unusually innocent and naive, seemingly motivated only by an attraction to light, like moths.  Lee even has to ask “where is it?” to which Marie correctly points out that May already said the star was in the sky.

To be fair, Lee’s hair was blocking her eye, and we finally get to see her eye for the first time since season 1!

I LOVE this little detail of Lee twirling her foot before skipping out of frame.

Marie rises, embarrassed to have been choked and dropped so carelessly.

She tries to save face by telling May to come on.

May’s Christmas cheer will not be defeated!  

She teases Marie by giving Marie the same “come on” command.

Iconic!!  Doesn’t this shot kinda make you think of the night scenes in Disney’s Aladdin?

10 minutes later, we get another minute of Kanker B-plot.  I don’t think any other episode ever gets this close to the super-geometric outline-eradicating Samurai-Jack-esque style Rod Filbrandt uses in concept art for his backgrounds..

Such background porn…  I’m really unsettled by the weird abandoned signs of life this God Light takes the Kankers to…  It’s like a trail of death leading to the Eds’ bad ending and the Kankers are too desensitized to pick up on that.

Lee gives her sisters a quick glance as they approach.

Lee and May unintentionally shut Marie out and she steps around.

Also, I’ll give them points for the “gold, frankincense and myrrh” = “mold, franks and cents, and fur” rhyme gag, but only because I wasn’t aware of that part of the nativity scene until this special aired.  I was 13 when this came out, which means I’d already done like 8 grades of Catholic school, how did they fail to make any impression on me!?   But honestly, that’s a weird punchline to try and use as a button on this bit.  And as much as I love the art in that montage, it seems like it would’ve worked even better as a mood-setting detail if they found each gift separately between each house Eddy visited.

“What the heck is it?“  Pretty sure her mouth colors are mismatched.

“It’s a sign, stupid.“   Touching.

I love when they all look up in unison.

They look more confused as they walk away.

I’m really interested in how extra moody Marie seems in this montage.  I also noticed that their frostbitten walk through the snow seems to be slightly foreshadowing of the walk Eddy goes on in the climax.  

This is a really iconic shot and camera direction for me too, and it’s the one appearance of the junkyard at night in the whole show (as a setting, there’s at least one episode that shows it from overhead at night).  It’s also one of like 3 uses of the junkyard as a setting in the digital era.  And here you can barely even recognize it under the snow.  Still looks great, though!

They are SO introspective over this star… what are they contemplating?  Should we retroactively assume they’re regretting their situations with the Eds post-Fistful, or accept that this special wasn’t made in chronological order and think of something less specific, like family troubles or… just not thinking anything particular at all???  

Lee and May stare dumbfounded at their lost-in-thought sister.

Very cute Maries.

Love that unoutlined background pipe.

This glow effect seems.. broken.

“weiners and pennies!?“

Wait…  …Are you kidding me?  I just noticed that May and Marie are each wearing one half of the same pair of gloves and the same pair of mittens….

Oooh look at this goregous postcard-ready background of the construction site!  The construction site only has one other night scene I can think of that isn’t just an overhead shot, and it’s only one shot of Ed running there to grab a cement mixer during his fight with Nazz in Boo Haw Haw.

I really love how these gradient-silhouettes with blobby purple outlines look.  Their progression through the show’s locations reminds me of the EEnE video games (mainly Jawbreakers! for the GBA because that was the only game they had at this time)…  I think they also used this silhouette style for the kids on the Scam of the Century DS game cover.

i love EEnE vehiclessssss

I love wondering whose coat this is and why it’s been left here…  Also, do the rust and torn seat imply this construction site is officially abandoned? Or is this one of only a few vehicles that got left behind right before Christmas break and is now being ravaged by the elements?

This frame always makes me yearn for a future where Lee is a construction worker. Or demolition!!!

“It’s a coat.  Come on, we’re getting close.“  Oh sure fine, makes sense to me.

We then cut one street over to Eddy in Plot A, where it isn’t snowing, reinforcing the idea that the Kanker’s story is not chronologically synced up to Eddy’s story.

Anyway, another 10 minutes later, we get a final Kanker scene!

The Snow is strong enough to smack Eddy with a door (UNINTENTIONAL BRO FORESHADOWING?).  Eddy is also not very good at boarding a door, apparently.

On a scale of 1-10, how blasphemous is this shot?

The Snow encroaches upon the Eds

“Could it be!?  Three kings who have traveled afar!?“

How serious is that question, Edd.... why would there be three real-ass monarchs in Rolf’s shed in the middle of an American blizzard???

I feel real weird about Edd being so religious in this episode, it’s too soon after season 4 made such a point of Edd not believing in things that cannot be proven…  

I like that the special is religious.  As agnostic as Catholic school made me, Christmas specials that get sentimental about the Christian traditions get the most nostalgia out of me.  But this special and series clearly revels in sin and hopelessness, so I found it kind of jarring how much of this special lets the Bible references be played straight.  Making Edd super religious just so he can continue to be fanserviced as an angel felt a little cheap, and I feel like it creates an undertone that Eddy is being punished for not being as religious as the others around him.

But take my complaints there with a grain of salt, it’s impossible to understand X-mas Special Logic, where it’s not quite Christianity, just some sort of TV-safe offshoot with elves and magic and a generally more fantastical mythology.

Hey the silhouettes are back!

I already spoiled this joke...

I do really like this shot…  Nice to see Rolf’s animals get a Christmas cameo.

I do entertain the idea that the Kankers really think these gifts will warm the Eds’ hearts and earn their admiration.  But we all know this will be a short lived moment.

“This image certainly has the Christmas spirit…“

And now that there’s been a beat of peace, the Kankers reveal their true intention of pressuring the Eds into gifting them some kisses.  The way they trap them in the shed and suggest it’ll last a whole year is really one of the creepiest approaches to a Kanker ending in the whole show.  Obviously it’s not likely it would really last that long, and imo if it’s just kisses it’s not really new or surprising... but it’s still a pretty damn meanspirited ending for a beautifully-crafted holiday special that very easily could have been scrapped by the show’s season 4 cancellation. 

I do love the fur coat being draped over the cow’s face, though.

And it is honestly important to know the Eds can still do well drawn group scream takes in digital.

May and Ed scaring the animals is a nice touch, but I hate how we hear May going “oink” during this walla.

“WAIT”

“I’M AN ANGEL”

“STOP!!!!”

kiiiinda scary

I hate Eddy almost getting away but kinda love this rare separation of his eyes.

At this point my brain dies and I just go “aw the kids are so cute this is the only thing going on look how cute jonny is and kevin is being so nice and rolf is such a killyjoy i love this i love their group what a great xmas special nothing went wrong everyone is singing”

hope you had a good Kanker appreciation month!

*cries*

[a-alex-hammer]

7 super clever and easy ways to make money!

By: Michael Dinich | Your Money Geek

One of the most common questions I hear is, how to make money fast? Maybe you’re faced with an unexpected home repair, or your car decided to call it quits and now you’re in the need for some extra cash quick, fast and in hurry (like yesterday). Well, good news, I’ve got your back!

Today, I am going to share will you how to make money fast.  

Ground Rules

You may have seen the lists on online; “100 plus ways to make money” quickly or “how to make money fast online”. Most of these lists are merely affiliate link spam. I mean no disrespect to fellow bloggers, but I’m not going to add to the noise and suggest you waste your afternoon filling out surveys. If you want to make $500 dollars, need money to cover rent, or get the car fixed, reward apps and sign up bonuses might not cut it.

Plus, if you already did the reward app, sign up bonus, “pledged your body to science thing” the last time you clunker needed a repair, then it is likely your in need of some creative new ways to make money quickly.

To be included on this list, the option needs to be a real way to make money and have the potential to pay greater than a living wage. Plus, it had to be quick because that’s why you’re here.

Saving Money is Making Money.  You may have heard the saying “You can’t “outwork a bad diet”; finances are similar. Before launching your creative new side hustle, it makes sense to sit down and look for opportunities to reduce unnecessary expenses. Now, I’m not suggesting you give up the items you and your family value and enjoy, rather let’s just trim the fat a bit.

Let’s look at the low-hanging fruit:

Comparison shop your  Life, Health, Auto, Home Owners’, and Liability insurance.

Did you quit smoking or lose weight?  Ask your health and life insurance co.’s if they will reduce rates

Challenge inaccuracies on your credit report. If you improve your score, ask lenders and insurance co.’s if they can reduce your rates.

Check your deductibles, limits, and features on health and property casualty insurance. Many people are overpaying for lower limits or features they may not really need.

1. Make Money Helping Others

Donate Blood Plasma. This hack comes from fellow blogger Melissa Blevins, who has been making upwards of 400 dollars a month donating blood plasma.  If making a few extra dollars wasn’t good enough, donating blood plasma can save lives. Need more reason to donate, donating blood plasma can burn 650 calories, beats the exercise bike for an hour! (420 calories)

2. Don’t Overlook This Money Saving Item

Sell your unwanted life insurance policies. Maybe you did a review of your life insurance policies and decided you have an older policy that you no longer need or want. Before you close it out for the policy for cash value consider if it can be sold for more money on the secondary market.

Generally, this option is reserved for people age 62 or older, however, depending on the features of the policy this may be an option for younger individuals.

Tip: if you have life insurance where the cost basis is significantly higher than the cash value, rather than surrender the policy, consider a 1035 exchange into an annuity where you can use the tax loss to offset gains in the annuity.

3. Make Money Online and at Home Flipping

Become a flipper. If you have a keen eye and are willing to do some research, you can make decent money flipping items. Check out Craigslist and eBay and see what items are selling for. Start with small items until you have a sense of how to flip.

Example, Local farmers in my area love 275 Gallon Caged IBC Tote’s, used ones sell for 150 dollars in the area. I found a person on Craigslist who sells them for 75 dollars a piece about an hour drive from me. After a little on the phone negotiating I was able to pick up 15 totes for 50 dollars apiece.  It took the Mrs. and I less than three hours to pick up the totes and return. We kept a few totes for ourselves to harvest rainwater and sold the rest off for a nice profit.

4. Make Money Quickly With Photos

Sell your photos online. Have you built up a massive collection of photos from your travels? If so turn your passion for photography into money in your pocket. Website developers and bloggers are constantly looking for photos to use on their sites. Consider selling your art on sites like twenty20, iStock, or SmugMug.

Prices can range from a few cents to twenty-plus dollars. Make sure you review all the fine print, some of the sites do not allow you to offer the same photos on several sites.

The key to making money online with your photos is thinking outside the box. Turn your photos into products, such as mugs, mouse pads or puzzles.

Also, don’t limit your self to just selling your own digital photos. Historical photos sell well on websites such as Etsy.com and Ebay. Travel to local estate sales, yard sales, and flee markets, you can often pick up old photos and albums inexpensively and sell them for a nice profit.

Note: older advertising also sells well, at a local car show a gentleman was selling ads from old magazines for $15 a piece. 

5. Make Money Online as a Virtual Assistant

Become a social media virtual assistant.   Do you love Pinterest or Instagram? Many brands and bloggers do not know how to correctly use these social media platforms. Offer your expertise to coach or act as a social media manager. It’s a win-win: the brand gets the right type of social media exposure and you can make money doing something you enjoy.

How much could money could you make as a VA? Some VA’s make between $14 and $25 an hour, others charge  $40 and up. If you are great at making Pinterest images and Instagram creatives, you could charge brands upwards of $50 an hour. To get the best value for your work, it helps to have a social media following of your own to demonstrate your work online.

Tip: You may be tempted to offer your services on sites like Fiverr or Upwork, customers of the sites are looking for rock bottom prices. if you offer a quality premium service engage blogs and brands in the more popular networking groups or reach out to them on social media.

6. Make Money Making

Become A Maker. Making and selling custom products and craft items are starting to become a lucrative side business. With the sites like Etsy, eBay and Amazon its easier than ever to sell online and you don’t need to a web designer or SEO guru.

Chances are you have a hobby that can be turned into a lucrative side hustle.

Do you love to doodle? You can sell your art.

Do you have a green thumb? Raise plants and veggies sell the seedlings at the local farmers market?

Do you have some land? launch a vegetable patch side hustle (A small patch of lavender can make $1800 a year)

Have you been pining for a 3D printer, Auto CNC machine, or laser cutter? If you have the tools and skills you can make high-value products and home and sell them for a nice profit. The best part is you can make the products on demand so you do not need to carry inventory and let’s be honest you were going to buy that new “toy” anyway.

Online, your options are endless: you could 3D print custom game pieces, knit dice bags, or use a Cricket machine to make custom apparel. You can even make and sell non-geeky items like baby outfits, buttons or any craft imaginable; the options are limitless.

7. Make Money with Your Experience

Teach a class on Symposium. A symposium is one of the fastest real ways to make money online. The app connects anyone with expertise to a robust marketplace of users seeking experience. Experts sign up for a profile and can begin teaching classes or offering one-on-one consultations in a matter of minutes.

Once a session is completed money is immediately transferred to the seller’s debit card, doesn’t get much quicker than that.

Chances are you have experience in something; maybe you are in HR and know the common mistakes job applicants make, or maybe you enjoy fashion and make-up and mastered “the smokey eye.” People are willing to pay to learn from your experience, and Symposium is the platform that allows that to happen.

Anyone can use the App to make money quickly;

Fitness enthusiasts could launch workout coaching, nutritional coaching, or even virtually coach a spin class

Wellness experts can launch motivational or inspirational classes

Podcasters could offer special enhanced pay-per-view versions of their podcasts

Crafters and makers could teach classes on how to 3D print, use a Cricket machine, or even how to knit or crochet.

Cosplay fans could teach classes on how to make costumes or even give fans a behind the scenes peek at competitions.

Gamers could broadcast playthroughs, review games, or even offer to coach for more difficult game elements.

Tech’s and service pros could offer one-on-one troubleshooting

The best part is Symposium offers synergies with other side hustles. Makers can broadcast a how-to while making custom products for sale. Photographers can broadcast live from remote locations while prowling for photos, and flippers can broadcast auctions and markets, teaching others how to flip successfully.

Even a small audience can represent real profits. A live SymCast to 15 people for 20 dollars a piece is $300 dollars. Sure beats filling out surveys online.

How will you make money?

Noticeably absent from my list is “blogging”. I enjoy blogging and sharing with readers ways to save money, inspiring success stories and of course geek culture. However, blogging is not the path to quick money online. Despite what many bloggers and peddlers of courses may suggest, blogging is very hard work and it takes a sizable audience to make even a modest return.

Many of the blogs that claim otherwise have designed products or courses that they sell and launching a product online take time and resources. While owning a successful blog is a wonderful goal to pursue, you may need quick ways to make money to maintain cash flow until your blog or websites takes off.

By following these seven creative tips, you will be able to reach your financial goals in record time!

Republished with the permission of YourMoneyGeek.com.

Source link

Source/Repost=> http://technewsdestination.com/7-super-clever-and-easy-ways-to-make-money/ ** Alex Hammer | Founder and CEO at Ecommerce ROI ** http://technewsdestination.com

[carlseerey-blog]

Task 006; 

Today, I close the door to my past, open the door to my future, take a deep breath, step on through, and start a new chapter in my life. 

1.  Today I close the door to my past,

The soft fluttering of worn pages filled the small room, the last shreds of evening light filtering through the window as the familiar sound of creaking floorboards overpowered the satisfying snap of the hard covered novel slamming shut. Silence was quick to once again replace the echoes of the small environment, leaving those in its occupancy blanketed in the quiet they so often desired - knowing that with silence, came the relaxing relief of being isolated - alone with nothing but themselves, and their thoughts. Something they’d never thought would change, and yet one of the only things they felt they actually had the power to change. After all, everything else had always been in someone else’s hands... 

A bright blue gaze was slow to redirect to the faded book lying upon the desk, calloused fingers brushing over the cracked spine for a moment as a sigh slipped past the man’s lips. Why couldn’t he change everything else - why couldn’t he invest in a future of security... of happiness, and desire, instead of dread and fear? Why couldn’t he put his foot down and make his own choices. It was his life - and he’d watched far too many lose their own because they didn’t get the chance to change their own fates... It was an awful thought; to live a life slowly drowning by the choices other’s made for you..

 A soft vibration filled the air, Carl’s thoughts breaking as he grabbed the phone from his pocket, a ghost of a smile lining his expression as he read the caller ID. Pushing away from the desk, the Texan allowed his mind to drift once more, headed for the door as he placed the phone to his ear, the soft southern accent drifting quietly through the room before it faded out completely; the room once more engulfed in silence. 

2. Open the door to my future,

It wasn’t even a year later when he’d cracked. It’d been a long time coming. The days of blind loyalty, and quiet disapproval had long since faded; giving rise to a man who was now first to inform those in charge when he thought what they were doing was just plain stupid. It wasn’t a question of ‘if’ anymore, but more so a ticking clock counting down until when Carl would eventually disband himself from the Hearts - after so long of trying to rationalize the words Sixes’ had always told him - trying to tell himself he couldn’t leave or he’d be stabbing his friends in the back - after all the fighting; too many people had lost their lives to a cause Carl had never truly believed in. For in the Texan’s mind, the Hearts had long since evolved into the same ‘evil’ in which they had set out to defeat; become the very monster they were trying to get out from under the bed. There were far better things to focus his time and effort on - so many more things that made life worth living. And so, it wasn’t a surprise when the Texan finally called it quits - walking out of the Hearts with absolutely no regard to what the man in the mask, nor the man under the mask planned on doing about it. He was done. 

It wasn’t even a month later when the Texan had broken down to his parents; detailing the decades long lie in which he’d been telling. In the longest phone call he’d managed with the pair in over ten years, Carl had told them everything. He’ll always believe it to be a blessing that the outcome of the call hadn’t ended in him being disowned; and instead had him receiving a very important package in the mail...the very engagement ring that had been passed down through generations in his family....

It wasn’t even a week later when the Texan proposed on the very bench he’d first kissed his true love.

3. Take a deep breath,

If there was ever a person who was more than content to have just Bearded Dragons as his kids; it was Carl. So it was absolutely no surprise that Rocko was joined by another one of the spiky lizards in a few years time, a darker red beast to sit opposite the orange one that had already found his home along the Texan’s shoulder. However... even with both of his shoulders taking the overbearing weight of the two pets he adored,... there was always certainly room for more. 

Even if said room made it so Carl was frequently taking the job of answering an upset child’s cry at the wee hours of the morning, placating a tired mother’s aggressive worry with a simple request to go back to bed while he took care of it. (It only worked a third of the time, anyway.) Secretly though, and perhaps quite selfishly, the Texan absolutely cherished the times Hallie rolled back over and allowed him to console their child alone - after all, he couldn’t blame himself for wanting to absolutely gush over their daughter alone, right?

“Shh, Emmy. Y’don’t want t’wake y’mommy, do y’? Naw... no y’don’t. Y’love her too much t’wake her.. and she’s grumpy in the mornin’ ain’t she. Oh, yes she is, yes she is.” He hushed softly, pressing a kiss to the wiggly baby’s forehead, his smile only growing when a precious giggle broke through his daughter’s lips, rather than the unpleasant cries he always wished he could stop. “...There y’go... That’s better, Em. You’re okay... I’m right here, Sweetheart...” That was a promise. He’d always be here - if there was ever a reason to always want to strive in life, a reason never to give up; god if it wasn’t staring him right in the face at that moment... It almost made him feel ridiculous for ever thinking otherwise before...

...and God only knows how many times Hallie woke to find her ‘grown ass, Texan of a man’ curled up in that crib to keep Emily safe from whatever had upset her on that night. 

4. Step on through, 

While studying at Harvard, Carl couldn’t even count the amount of times he’d seen someone older in his lectures and wondered why they’d come back to school after all that time had passed. Even as a curious kid, who wanted nothing more than to bury his head in a book and learn, the Texan still couldn’t fathom a reason why he’d trade away any job, or a life already away from education to come back to school. Perhaps it was because Carl never really thought of his reason when he was younger; never figured he’d drop out, get involved with a gang, and throw away everything he’d once worked for, only to turn around again and try to change his life when he was about to head into his forties - since that seemed like a pretty valid reason to return to school to him now. To get a secure job, to work as a lawyer after all this time, and to finally have the security, and the life he had imagined for himself when he was barely a man.... The thought of it seemed impossible - but once again, if there wasn’t a bigger motivator than his daughter... Carl wanted nothing more than to set an example for her - to show her she could do whatever she wanted - to show her that following the right path in life was certainly a far better pay off than the off beaten track he’d fell on before. 

It wasn’t easy, especially not with a quickly growing two year old doodling along his important paperwork more than a handful of times - but it had certainly been worth it when Carl could finally be proud of his employment. When the man could finally say he was proud of the fact he worked for a law firm, rather than be ashamed he had dedicated his life to blindly following a still feuding gang war. 

5. And start a new chapter in my life...

The soft fluttering of worn pages filled the small room, the last shreds of evening light filtering through the window as the familiar sound of creaking floorboards overpowered the satisfying snap of the hard covered novel slamming shut. Silence was quick to once again replace the echoes of the small environment, leaving Carl blanketed in the quiet that he used to so often desire - but only for a moment.  The sudden uneven padding of light feet was quick to dispel the deafening quiet the Texan no longer appreciated, and instead, a broad smile  grew upon the lawyer’s expression as a giggling toddler rounded the corner, hands up and eager for attention, as an equally amused Hallie followed shorty behind. Quickly scooping the trouble maker up, Carl stole a kiss from the wiggling, squealing child, her high pitched laughter never fading as the man closed the distance between himself and his wife. Meeting her gaze, Carl didn’t have to say a word - his complete adoration for his small, and ever perfect family more than visible simply in his look. Without wasting another minute however, Carl easily readjusted Emily in his grip, allowing just enough room for him to lean forward to physically show his appreciation as well, pressing a tender kiss to Hallie’s lips; thanking the woman for everything she’s ever done for him.. After all... As far as Carl was concerned? ..it was always her that had made his life into something worth living.

..and in that moment; Carl couldn’t have been happier. 

[horticultureandfineart]

Sketchbooks

Sketchbooks by Amanda Witt

When it comes to drawing in your sketchbook, it’s up to you to put in whatever you’d like. Sketchbooks are a way to be creative and try out new forms of art and to develop your own style. You can use them to experiment with composition, style, and problem-solving. Sketchbooks can allow you to capture images from your imagination, they give you complete freedom to create whatever you want. In this post, I’ll give some examples and inspiration on what to put in your sketchbook.

Sketchbooks are completely your own, and you can do whatever you want in them. Some like to add in quick sketches and thumbnails for larger projects, other prefer to make every sketchbook page into a finished piece. Everyone approaches sketchbooks in a different way, and for some, it can be challenging to decide on what to put in it. One thing I’ve noticed that helps me whenever I want to add something in my sketchbook is to not overthink it. Especially when starting in a brand new sketchbook, overthinking and focusing too much on figuring out what you want to put in can take away from the creative process. Just go with whatever you feel like doing, once you start creating, you’ll become motivated to keep adding. If you’re not still what to add, look for some inspiration. Go to Pinterest, look up artists online, find inspiration in others artwork to get your mindset in a creative mood. If you’ve just gotten a new sketchbook and you’re worried about ruining it or figuring out what to put in it, skip a few pages and then start. This way, there won’t be so much pressure to create something perfect for the first page. Keep in mind, this is completely yours. If you create something you end up not liking, tear out the page, erase it, paint over it, cover it up with another page. Drawing and creating is learned from trial and error, from experimenting with new concepts to push your skills and learning from it. If something isn’t perfect, that’s okay, try it again. Put it down and come back to later with a new mindset.

When it comes to what subject matter to add to your sketchbook, the possibilities are endless. You can draw people, faces, flowers, dogs, buildings, tables, really anything that you want to. Drawing from life, or creating an observation drawing, is a great way to build up your drawing skill. This is much more difficult than drawing from a picture. Drawing from life is transferring a 3D object onto a 2D plane while drawing from a picture is 2D to 2D. You have to be able to show form, volume, and space, while in a picture it’s already done. This isn’t to discredit drawing from a picture reference, in fact, I find myself drawing from photos most of the time, but just to say that observation drawings are good practice. I recommend adding a few observational drawing into your sketchbook, this way you can really work on your drawing skill and learn to create more realistic drawings.

Observational Drawing by Rachel

Drawing from life can be anywhere from creating a still life and working on it for a few days, to quickly sketching someone in a cafe for 5 minutes. During class, I like to quickly sketch someone for about a minute before they move, after that I move on to drawing someone else. You can also get with a friend and take turns posing for each other for about 5 minutes. This fast pace drawing allows you to think less about what you’re doing so you can just do it. Try practice gesture drawings, a quick scribble of something that captures the form. When you want to slow it down and take your time on something, gather some objects into a little still life. Do a couple of studies of some still lifes to help improve your skill.

Gesture drawings (top Rachel’s, bottom mine)

Drawing from life, along a quick doodle by Rachel

If realism isn’t your thing, feel free to doodle. Doodling can be relaxing and allow you to develop a unique drawing and style without a plan. This can be creating images from your mind, different characters or scenes. Don’t focus too much on making it realistic, have fun and create more stylized images. I like to play around with different faces, creating different types of characters. The way you draw a face can completely alter the feel and look you get from them. If drawing people isn’t your thing, then try animals. Maybe even mix two animals together, or create your own original species.

You can even fill your sketchbook with prints and patterns. Try playing with different mediums, using paint, markers, pens, or pencils. You can create drawings on separate pieces of paper and later glue them into your sketchbook. Use color to make your sketches really pop, or create monochromatic doodles for a different feel. Maybe paint in a color study, or practice using colored pencils. If you don’t want to draw, add in collages or pictures and cutouts. You can give extra meaning to your pages by adding in quotes, passages, song lyrics, or sayings. Try adding washi tape for an added pattern, or even pressed flowers and other objects.

There is no right or wrong way to handle sketchbooks, it’s all up to you. These are just a few tips to get some ideas going.

Art credit above is Rachel’s

-Amanda Witt

[tsunamidias-blog]

sleepless. why i smoke

I am writing now, because I can’t sleep. Perhaps this will cure my insomnia, or maybe even cure the virus that affects my thoughts during these hours. It is this habit of smoking.

I can’t say why I smoke. But I should. All I know is that I smoke to much. And I shouldn’t.

It began six years ago. In a bit perhaps to distance myself from others. To distance myself from who I was. To become someone with a story. I don’t know. Perhaps it was a challenge to myself. Perhaps it was just to make a prophesy true.

But I smoked heavily, and constantly. I felt disgusting. It made me hate myself. My insides first used to feel affected. Now the sensation is unnoticeable.

Do I enjoy it? I don’t know. I just do it.

I remember the final year of university. It was a challenge to keep going despite all odds. To keep this torch lighted. So that others may understand that my isolation is voluntary. It is a chosen path. Rather than one that seems to be my inheritance.

How to overcome isolation? To not feel alone. To open up to people, and allow yourself that comfort of vulnerability. But where after that? It makes you totally unfit for the world. How will I get on with myself if I accept love? Where will it take me, other than leave me an inhospitable mess.

In Berlin, i put cigarettes in the place of food. Perhaps then I imagined myself to be an artist. Or something out of a tv show. But with no actual plotline, other than the act of smoking itself. It all was hollow. Everytime I stress about it. It comes back.

In London, those two years - it was an excuse for food again, and an excuse to cope with stress. To give yourself breaks, to allow yourself to relax etc etc

And then that second year, the guilt got worse, and worse. It was time to stop, but how? The more the thought came, it only distracted my sleep and my peace, but the habit it increased in manifold aspects.

Then I paused again - tried to cut down - tried to sotp - but the next day, and this idea of youth that I associate with it bogged me down. that when I’m old I will remember those habits. But now perhaps I should begin to accept that I am old?

When I think of being older though, I wonder if i want to be the elegant smoker at parties having debates. But perhaps I don’t want that anymore either. It appears vague.

I am running out of reasons to do it. And yet I continue. I stopped when I returned home to my parents. 5 months (other than thesis stress) - and it did not seem like a struggle at all.

Each time I quit, I think it is easy to do so - so I will do it later. I begin again and then worry about my health. It is a useless thing to continue worrying about. I should stop it - because it is easy to do so - but because I do not keep a track of why I do it, I get caught up in its snare each time.

Perhaps writing this will exorcise me of this curse. Perhaps this writing is the reason I have been doing it. Perhaps through writing about it, I have achieved the experiential goal I subconsciously had about it. All romanticism aside, I will attempt to track motivations:

morning: one in the morning, to relax and get the day going - give me 5 minutes of an enjoyable activity. (the feeling is of course hollow and makes me feel worse and sleepier) - I need a better 5 minute activity in the morning, perhaps eating a cereal bar or a chocolate cookie (something bad for me I guess), hopefully an apple.

Second; arriving at the place, sit down - it would be nice to get into the mood of the place by relaxing through one. Once again, it is unecessary because I did the same thing 5 minutes ago at home - so why the purpose? What thoughts does it insinuate? It normally makes me less productive. - I need to set up shop and think up activiites within which to fill my first hour.

third/4/5: On the computer, carrying out ONE task, procrastinate on the internet, then BEFORE starting task, get in mindset by going out to smoke. - i need to refresh my mind in a better way, is it better to go to ppl, or is it better to meditate and go somewhere alone? Strike a conversation, read a light article, have a healthy snack.

6: before leaving. usually to wait for some conversation to pick up or see if a plan appears before leaving immediately. a breathing space to see what will happen next. Normally nothing happens. Just do it and leave. - I need to ask ppl of their plans if that is my intention. or strike up a conversation regardless. 

Chain: sitting next to someone. It seems enjoyable to keep the moment going by continuously rolling - this allows a semblance of shared activity, and makes up for the pauses - it all allows a fix time. However it is not necessary to the conversation. - I need to keep the conversation going and concentrate on that. If I am not relaxed I need to find another means of doing that, perhaps through doodling.

Home: before dinner. I am hungry and it will suppress my hunger for some time. I have no food so this is an enjoyable way to do so. - I need to buy snacks to keep them home!!

Chain throughout evening: the smell is there, one more does not seem bad. Will do it slowly so do not take too many puffs. - This is pointless, and only because of stress. If this kind of dis-utility is observed. Keep a list and go through the list, if the list is pending/complete, then make quick sketch of things.

After dinner: As a palette cleanser and way to digest the food. The taste seems superb and always ruins the taste of the meal in your mouth. Not sure if it is worth it because it ruins the meal. - I need to take the feeling after a meal and either eat a mint or brush my teeth.

These are my observations now, and I have some guidelines. I also stopped temporarily biting my nails. But that is back also. Do not know which direction things are going in.

I am moving places now. A new place requires a new attitude and a new discipline. I still feel heartbroken about many things - but I need to write about them, so that I can understand why I still feel that I am pitted in the same place I have been for years.