#i wanted to answer everything properly

[starryo]

OH MY GODDDD YOUR WHITE MASK AU AAAAAAAAAA

YOUR WHITE MASK DESIGN IS MAKING ME INSANEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAA

HE!!!!!! HIM!!!!! Joker is soooooo ominous and insane looking in his white mask outfit and mask and omg I loveeeee his mask it’s sooo fitting especially for a wild card with so many masks, for him to be represented by a half crying half laughing theatre mask like that and his hair!!!!

Does his hair change when he enters the metaverse?? Does he still have arséne/does he carry his personas into the new run? If not, does he reawaken arséne as his first persona again? Or does he awaken to a different persona when he gets metaverse access? He’s still a wild card but I’m soooo curious about his awakened persona especially considering his new ‘fit like damnnn.

ALSO can he change his metaverse outfit like og!Akechi? Does he have an opinion on his outfit (hate it, like it, finds it creepy or weird to adjust to or anything)? (Did I mention I ADOREEEE your white mask design for him bc hoooollyyyyyy hellll do I adore it with every single fiber of my being wow-

How does Shido find out about him if he doesn’t approach him (or does he approach Shido as a keep your enemies closer kind of thing)?

I cannot IMAGINE how the white mask reveal would go like omg, does he also have a little mini insane breakdown in front of them or is he still chill during it, you said the engine scene and interrogation room bit would go very differently but AAAAA HOWWWW PLSSSS SHAREEEE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

And don’t even get me STARTED on how much I absolutely adore Akechi’s design here, his little earring, his everything omggg, I really wanna know how far he got beating up Shido lmaoo

Did Akechi still get tossed around foster homes growing up? Did he lean into his “unwanted child” thing instead of crafting his likeable “perfect” personality/facade (considering he look a little delinquent-y in the art I saw)? If so, what makes the change there? Does his mother die differently or does he just not know about Shido maybe, causing him to not create the same facade because he no longer has a clear revenge goal? Idk but I’m soo curious what got him looking and acting so different (assuming his facade isn’t actually the same and it’s just the appearance that changed).

Does Joker have a likeable “detective prince” persona (pun not intended) now instead since he took the detective spot, or is he less public/handles it differently? If he does then does he have the same cult following of fangirls lol

What school does Joker go to in this AU?? Does he go to the same (unnamed) school Akechi went to last time? Does he still go to Shujin (unlikely I’d assume)? Does he maybe go to Kosei since it’s a school for prodigies n stuff so it would be willing to work around his whole detective prince shtick? Plus Kosei means getting to talk to Yusuke without Shido finding out

Also you said that the Yoshizawas and Niijimas could be explained to Shido as useful connections, how are the Yoshizawas useful connections? Their family? Also does he get to meet Haru pre-canon because of the same logic?

Does he have a better relationship with Sae than Akechi? Maybe being able to help with her distortion before the canon timeline even starts? I’d imagine Makoto doesn’t despise him like she does Akechi (since I doubt he’d be anywhere near as passive aggressive and awful lmao) so are they friends or does Makoto still have a bit of jealousy for someone her age being so much closer to her sister than her (or both??👀 she can multitask)?

And also does Akechi have a different outfit than canon too then?? Does he have a different persona? Or just Robin Hood? You said he takes Jokers place in the unjust game so I’d assume he gets to recruit and fuse persona but does that mean that Joker can’t??? Or can he recruit persona but just not fuse them? OR can he do both bc of some NG+ shenanigans or him having more time in the metaverse (in this loop and others) meaning that he manages to get some kind of higher powers than canon? Like maybe he can talk shadows into fusing or can enter/exit the metaverse without the Nav or change/use cognition to do things he never thought of doing before (Monabus style but minus the Mona).

Does he have a persona that helps him cause shutdowns/mental breaks or does he just talk the shadows to the mental ledge or sth? I could see him talking shadows into mental breaks or shutdowns to match his whole talking to recruit shadows ability and will he still have a place or title as a/the trickster? Especially if Lavenza and people refers to him as the trickster to Akechi or something. Also does he have Satanael? Or is this one of those AUs where he never awakens Satanael even in the OG run? Also does he reset runs because the year is up, because they disappear bc of the grail, bc they die in the Yaldy battle, or something else? And does *he* know why he resets or is he stressed out of his mind?

Does he try to stay away from the other PTs even once canon starts (bc Shido)? Is Akechi less smarmy and awful lol? I am dyingggg to know more about this AU (DID I MENTION I WOULD KILL FOR YOUR WHITE MASK OUTFIT OMGGGG ITS SO GOOD) and I am soooo sorry for the super long ask I didn’t even realize how long it had gotten I just am insane from this AU sorry T.T

hello!!! sorry for replying so late! oh my god i first opened your ask when i was in a discord voice called and was floored by your enthusiasm!!! i mean that in such a positive way thank you so much for loving my little au! im going to try my best to answer all your questions <3 this is going to be another long text post haha

since lavenza is the only other character that is also carried over from the previous run of the game, joker actually has access to the full persona compendium he collected. i will say that in the new run, the phantom thieves don’t see him use arsene due to reasons :) he also does receive a new persona! dont ask who yet though i haven’t finalized it. his hair changes with his outfit, meaning he still has access to his original joker outfit and can switch between them like how original akechi can switch between his. as for his opinion on it… he has pretty complicated feelings over it. he does appreciate the aesthetic of it and without hiscircumstances he would probably enjoy it even if it’s not his usual style. i think the best way to describe his opinion of it now is that he’s numb to it, and he also finds it quite comedic when you consider the what it symbolizes. (and thank you so much 🥺 i love character design so much and he is my baby)

like og!akechi, he does approach shido first, more because he felt like he had no other choice. he tries to justify it in his mind that taking this initiative is the most reliable way to guarantee the future going how he wants them to go.

he doesn’t really get his full breakdown until his palace! so he stays pretty composed when he is confronted in the engine room up until this point he hasn’t revealed his hand as the true culprit yet, so it’s pretty shocking to all of the thieves (except goro) and they feel a lot more conflicted as a result.

akechi kind of lives up to his delinquent appearance and rumor in this au yeah haha! he unfortunately wasnt able to get too far beating shido up, which makes him all the more frustrated and angry. he was tossed around foster homes growing up yes, and it was mostly after his criminal record that he fully leaned into the “unwanted child”. i guess part of him still kind of hoped that things would work out somehow for him even if he barely scrapes by. he still taps into that good kid facade sometimes if its more beneficial! aside from that, nothing has changed from canon regarding his backstory. his mom still died the same way and he knows who shido is, he just didnt get his powers like in canon which meant he didnt have any power to back any plans for actually exacting revenge even if he wanted to.

detective prince akira kurusu is very likeable and popular with the fans! he leans into the theatrics of it a lot more, but he also finds it so much more exhausting and often wonders how og!akechi was able to manage. he doesnt put as much of an emphasis on his popularity as og!akechi and more on increasing his authority as a detective, but he does consider both to be vital to his goal of crafting the perfect outcome. he goes to the same unnamed school as akechi (i’m trying to figure out a good name for it rn) and im deciding whether or not i might have him transfer to shujin in the second semester.

yoshizawas’ dad is the director of a really popular news channel! since both the niijimas and the yoshizawas arent direct associates with shido, akira can use the excuse that he’s maintaining good relationships so that he gets some influence. with haru and okumura he doesn’t really have that excuse, since okumura is already directly collaborating with shido. he has met haru in passing a few times though, and he wishes he could reach out more without both shido and okumura raising an eyebrow.

i think the best way to describe the difference between akira and og!akechi in terms of their bonds is that og!akechi didn’t have any true bonds aside from joker during his run, while akira is forging many bonds that are founded on deception. so while he technically has a better relationship with sae and many others than og!akechi did, akira questions a lot if they truly count when he’s only ever giving them what they want to see and none of the truth. to him they’ve started to feel even more transactional, and it doesn’t help that he sometimes questions if he’s attached to the present or the past more. i hope this explanation makes sense lmao, his experiences and thoughts are pretty contradictory at times so sometimes they dont make sense when i try to explain his logic.

i will say that he neither encourages or discourages sae’s distortion though, but he will help mitigate the consequences and advise her at times when she does ask for input. he’s definitely not as passive aggressive, and they’re at a weird stage where they’re not quite friends yet (mostly because yes makoto is still a little jealous and she is very awkward/guarded around him and a bit proud i guess? akira is patiently waiting for her to make the first move while giving her opportunities)

akechi has both robin hood and loki! he does have a different outfit that is a bit of a fusion between his two original ones (i havent finalized the designs yet). both of them are able to access the velvet room and can fuse personas, though joker doesnt really have the need to since he already completed his compendium.

his new persona does give him some new abilities that help with his new role yes, and yes he does do something similar to talking shadows into mental breakdowns. he is still referred to as a trickster by the velvet room residents when spoken to directly, but when they speak to akechi about akira they refer to him as “player”.

he did successfully awaken to satanael in the previous run. i’ll keep the details of why and when he resetted a secret for now hehe, cant give away the entire mystery!!

once he gets the excuse to hang out with the phantom thieves he 100% uses it to his advantage. it’s a sensitive balancing game, because he knows that shido will one day notice either way. one can even argue that he is being too reckless but unlike og!akechi, akira gets the advantage of knowing a lot more information.

as for akechi… he’s kind of a bitch haha like i would say he’s a bit like third semester og!akechi but less unhinged in the metaverse. definitely still very bloodthirsty with the shadows though just a bit less loud about it. he’s very blunt and direct with the phantom thieves, and likes to use sarcasm or mockery sometimes (the phantom thieves quickly learn that this is his weird love language). he’s definitely a lot more honest in his mannerisms in this au, so much that when he does turn on his pleasant boy charm, everyone else starts getting chills and feel super unsettled.

thank you again so much for all your questions!!! i hope i was able to answer all of them okay 💖 im so happy to hear you like my au so much! i hope i can draw them more often 🥺

[cherryfennec]

Summer Times

Hi! I'm finally back from my two week abroad trip!

[just-null]

Do you ever do requests? If so, do you ever plan on drawing some Yandere with the Hantengu clones? :D hope you have a good day/night!!!

Mentioning an unfamiliar name

yes!! I love yanderes.. and these guys.. these guys are such good material...... nods nods..

I'm not sure about requests..I assume you mean drawing requests? I suppose if it REALLY catches my interest enough, I'd do it, but it'd probably just be line art/sketches.

[microtyalm13]

everything about Gavriil feels suffocating.

how his presence alone can be almost overwhelming, how his massive body cages you everytime without a chance to escape. you wouldn't dare to try anyway, knowing that you don't even have a say against a creature of his caliber. he will find you. in your dreams, in your nightmares. in your room.

how he will be intense and vague about everything just for the sake of it; to confuse you further, to see the conflict of emotions in your eyes merge with arousal. eventually your hesitance turns into acceptance, a desperate need to feel his hands all over you. and he will be oh so grateful to fulfill that desire.

how his thick tongue pushes past your lips and into your mouth, reaching almost the back of your throat, relishing in the muffled little sounds you make. your drool mixed with his saliva drips down your chin, and your hazy eyes look up at him when he finally pulls away, giving you a second to breathe.

how his hips are slamming into you relentlessly, your wetness and lack of resistance allowing him to move almost effortlessly. forced to hold onto him for dear life instead of pushing away. all of your morals and principles are being tossed out of the window every single time he comes to you. he has you where he wants you, and will not stop until he feels like you can't take it anymore.

and how in the morning he vanishes away, leaving you guessing: was it just another wet dream? but the cold stickiness between your legs tells you more than you need to know.

[alwaysyouuuuuu]

So i was thinking about your Wolfstar Marvel AU again (it should pay rent with how much it's spinning around my head) and like,,,, Sirius not having any kind of closure about Remus,,, he doesn't know what happened to him, they never found a body or any traces of him and then he was pronounced dead and Sirius just. Doesn't know. He doesn't even know why they took Remus in the first place. And he probably feels guilty about it too (bc ofc he would!!!). Just, the lack of closure of it all, the big question mark haunting him, up until 70+ years later when he's face-to-face with Remus again (I'm loving it)

Hi hi hi!!!! 💕💕💕 Thank you so much for the ask! I am so happy we both find it consuming haha and I agree. AU needs to start paying me hourly wages for just how much it keeps me up and wondering at night. I would be in tears and at the end of my wit, if I had to do just part of this research in school (I was not into history or any literature for school, and that's putting it mildly.) and now I do this willingly lol.

You know one of those, "I'm so glad you asked"- *7 hour long vm* memes? I fear this will end up like that. Bear with me.

Before we get into that, I'll clear up some background? So Remus was first taken along with a lot of their troop (ambush?), and they were partially injected (plot reasons plot reasons!! I feel like you can guess why!!) and the Sirius and co rescued them etc etc. And then Remus was targeted specifically.

So before the permafrost, I feel the situation was very bad for Sirius. For one, he would have agreed to the Serum in the first place because Remus was in captivity (also for the war effort, of course, but to Sirius, at that point there really was no room for question which may have been there otherwise), and then he got Remus back. Just to lose him again.

And then, to the Military and almost everyone else, Hope and Lyall Lupin lost a son, but Sirius Black lost a fellow soldier. He lost a comrade. Sure, they were friends, so him being vengeful is believable, to an extent. And no one really gets the blank look in his eyes, after.

I believe there was a quote that went like, "Should you lose a spouse/partner, there is a shared understanding of the relationship, but when you lose a friend, there's no tangible evidence, no widely acknowledged way to mourn."

Except, for Sirius, he did lose his partner, love of his life and dearest friend of so many years. And no one understands. Maybe James and Lily know, but it is the 40s. Realistically, they are quiet about it at best. For him it is both, and all the more painful. And he doesn't get exactly why Remus was targeted either. Remus was at an integral position in the OSS, unusual for his age, recruited at the very beginning, one of the sharpest minds, so it could have been that. And god, he was cold blooded when he got to fighting. But of course, he cannot shake the feeling that it was because of him.

So, in that time, the days he spent looking for Remus with James and Lily, (which really wasn't much, they would not have been allowed to!) he is partially cynical. Not to the point of self-blaming but enough to self-destruct. James tries to get him out of it, but Lily grits her teeth. She doesn't say much, because she understands, I believe, how much at that point he just wants it to end.

*BAM* permafrost.

After he gains consciousness, he would have blanked out for a while, because what even is this? But he doesn't, because after the first few excruciating minutes, when the blood is pounding in his chest, looking at every flash of light, every building and car that look unnatural, really, the first thing he processes is Moody telling him that the War is over. Good, at least something went well, he thinks.

They tell him many soldiers were rescued, because that's the first thing he asks. After it sinks in, he wants to hope, and maybe he does. Because this is real, he can see it. As outlandish as it is, he is in the future. If this can be real, how foolish would it be to hope that maybe Remus made it too? He would be old, and he would have lived his life. Maybe with someone else, and that's okay. If he gets to see him one more time, Jesus, it's okay.

They tell him what happened with HYDRA and his family. They tell him about James Potter and how he revolutionized weapons, they tell him about Lily Potter, who later went on to join the NSA. God, he gets fucking giddy hearing all of that, because it worked out. For someone, it did. For James and Lily, it did. He wants to meet Harry.

And he starts to have a nagging thought, because with how they speak of and to him, maybe they would have mentioned his known childhood friend. And Remus was known to his own credit.

So he asks, slowly about one Remus Lupin?

And lo and behold. They know of him of course, of course, he was Captain America's best friend. But nothing was known of him post war.

He tries to hold his face and nods, but Moody gives him a strange look. Tells him that he'll look into it for him. He tamps it down, though, there is no point in a wishful fantasy. He would have begged Moody if required, but there really is no point. And he doesn't think he can open his mouth without saying something incriminating.

Moody offers him the initiative, of course, but they tell him to take a breath, see the world, find himself first. And he does, he takes a few days. But then he gets time to think about it, to mull things over, to reevaluate his last choices. When he is trying to ease into the new world, he is busy, things are overwhelming. But once he gets home, he spirals. He remembers how panicky he had been during the first rescue mission. He had been desperate. And what if that clued them in? There were others in the OSS. So why just Remus?

It had to be him.

So he throws himself into missions, trains hard, exhausts himself so doesn't have to think. He does what he's always been doing, he helps SHIELD and doesn't question much, because he is still processing. Some things stick out but one can only handle so much, yeah? Besides, James and Lily were the co-founders.

He finds out. Well. Many things about his past and it's just so much (I'll stop or this itself will spiral to 3k.)

I feel he's quite mercurial at times in these days. Unsettled, but he keeps going. He drinks sometimes, gets shit faced. Those days are increasing, really.

Then he meets Elena.

And there is something striking about her. Such a young girl, and he can see it in her eyes that she has seen a lot. Too much. He sees himself in her. And he is protective. He is maybe a little taken aback. Because she seems so much... like an old soul.

And Elena is drawn to him too. She opens up, slowly, slowly, which she doesn't normally. But he is fiery. Like her. And they mostly have the same stances. She doesn't speak of her childhood, and so he doesn't ask. She does mention she had a dad, and though seemingly not for long, she remembers her name from him.

She seeks out his company and it soothes something in him. I feel he's a little more settled? With time? I mean it's hard to pity yourself when there is someone dragging you out to bowl and join soccer clubs, when that someone is a loner too. Even though thinking of Remus' hurts a little more each day, because he feels that Elena and Remus would get along so well. Man she even fights like him.

So when he sees Remus again, it is whiplash of the worst kind. Remus is just there. Because it is Remus and it is not, and he is standing there just staring because this Remus even fights the same. And he sees Elena standing frozen there, and it suddenly hits him that she looks... like Remus.

Except for her eyes and it is like he is watching everything from afar. All he can do try to hold Remus back. Until Neville flies them away.

Because what has his life come to?

Elena is not responding. She is not even looking at him. And Sirius is thinking a thousand miles an hour. I think he'd find out everything he can about whoever this Winter Soldier is.

Before they finally bring R in for questioning I feel S would be overcome with guilty and longing and a lot of painful confusion, really.

And mostly, Sirius is guilt ridden. Remus was in there, with them doing who knows what to him, for 70 years? He never deserved that. Sirius was outwardly rebellious. It was his family helping fund HYDRA. And then there's Elena. Is Elena Remus'? Because how in the world did Remus manage to have a kid while he was trapped in a facility?

There is something really cool about her name. if you look closely.

Outside of his blackouts, Remus solely spoke Russian to everyone around him for 70 years right? So it seems logical that's what he'd speak to elena in that environment, mind controlled half the time etc, before they were separated (she was like. 7) and he'd find it a little difficult to slip into English again, or that's what Elena thinks. So when he demands to meet her first, she storms in, defensive stance (Sirius is standing right outside by the way) but Remus just blinks. Because they said it was Elena Chernova. But it's not. It's Helena Black.

And Sirius just. Dies a little.

Basically. He is spiralling.

So is this, so I'll stop here.

Based on this post. + snippet.

[xysidhequeen]

I know in your Red Knight AU, Jason when on the rampage in another realm, after finding out that Batman replace him with another Robin.

Did Danny manage to be there for him during that time?

He did! Danny was always there for Jason. He actually wanted to chase after Jason immediately, but luckily, the first thing he did was panic call Jazz, absolutely out of his mind. Jazz promptly told Danny to let Jason have some space for a little bit to process.

Which was for the best, really. Jason needed to not feel like he was trapped and that he could be angry. He never really got that before. But the most important thing is Danny came after him and brought him home. Jason needed to feel like he could be angry, but also, like his anger wouldn't mean he'd be punished or abandoned. It was a very delicate time for him, but Danny, Jazz, Sam, Tucker, and all our favorite ghosts made sure Jason knew he was very much wanted still. And that he was utterly irreplaceable.

Skulker handled this by breaking all of his weapons and suits overnight and saying he didn't know how to fix them. (Jason very much knew what he was doing, but the time spent on fixing things helped ground him)

Ember handled this by announcing that she couldn't possibly ever sing ever again unless her only other band member was there (Still very obvious, but music time with Ember usually devolved into very necessary crying time. A lot of ice cream was consumed)

Johnny and Kitty handled this by getting into a MASSIVE fight and refusing to speak to each other unless Jason mediated. (This actually was far less obvious, as the two tend to get into fights often. No one is actually certain if the fight was fake or not to this day, but they also haven't broken up once since and Jason is incredibly proud of that)

Fright Knight handled this by.... well, actually, he took the blunt approach and told Jason there was no one in any realm dead or alive he'd ever consider worthy to be his apprentice besides Jason. (This was highly effective as Frighty has always been bluntly honest with Jason. He didn't wholly believe it but it was a comfort. Frighty then beat his ass in a spar and he didn't think of much else)

Basically, everyone was there for Jason. Not just Danny. Jason was made to feel like his anger and hurt were valid, because they were. But he was also not just told, but shown how precious he was to every life he touched. He didn't get it, not at first and he struggled to really believe it.

It wasn't until later, after Danny opened up more about his own trauma and the effects it had on him that Jason actually began to somewhat understand more of what Jazz meant when she said Danny was getting better. He pieced more of the story together from the others to paint a better picture, and that's when it clicked for him. As much as he needed Danny, Danny had needed him just as much. (Clockwork may have had a hand in this as well, but whatever those two talked about, no one will ever know)

Also, as an aside, once everything calmed down, Danny was very pleased to learn the rebelling realm was now back under control and quite terrified of the Ghost King and his Knight. It saved him so much paperwork.

So yeah, this was a bit all over the place, but hopefully, it answers your question. Team Phantom and the ghosts are basically a very large family, and they might fight and bicker, but they seriously pull through and muster together if anyone is hurting. They're a bit clumsy sometimes with it, but the love they all feel is very obvious. I really, really wanted to give Jason a much more healthy origin story into becoming Red Hood than he got in canon. The poor boy went through enough. It was past time for him to get to heal.

Jason still has some hangups. His abandonment issues are still there, and his fear of rejection. But it's not as bad as it was, and because he'd been allowed to express his anger without being punished(or enabled, anger is a fine emotion to feel. But you should never let it consume you) for it, he figured out how to manage it.

He might still slip now, and then, he has trauma, and that won't go away. But Danny will never, ever let him fall. Neither will the rest of the weird little eclectic family they've built.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I just saw the excellent post about Chuuya's loyalty and 1) how he hasn't questioned his philosophy and 2) "In a world where a "path" typically involves challenging the characters' philosophies and forcing them to reevaluate, what the hell is going to have to happen to get Chuuya to do the same?" (quoting you)

Chuuya is always used by others. He's not the only BSD character whose been taken advantage of, but it does seem to be reoccurring with him? First by the government who intended to use him as a super weapon, then by the Sheep who used him for his ability, then by mafia/Mori (getting him to join in exchange for sparing the sheep, keeping his past from him and giving him incentive to become an executive and stay in the organization). He's constantly used for his power.

Please tell me if I'm misinterpreting what you all said, but it seems (to me) that Chuuya ignores the mafia's/Mori's manipulation because they have helped him and given him a home+family, so he's instead loyal to them.

Because even though Mori has not and is using him for his power, he still allows it/goes along with it because they've helped him in the past and earned his loyalty.

So Chuuya tolerates being used.

He's now being used again, obviously, in part, because of his power. We have Fyodor referring to him as just his ability and bragging about how he can "use" him better than Dazai ("doesn't that mean you're unfit to USE a gravity manipulator")

Do you think it's possible that just being vamped and used again will cause him to reflect on his mentality? He's once again being used (but be it in far more blatant way: literal mind control. Also reminds me of Verlaine+his creator). Reflecting on how he's been used in the past and no longer accepting being used by others anymore?

Or do you think it might have the opposite affect and push him deeper into the mafia somehow

Also it's interesting that Fyodor is using him but hasn't earned his loyalty (like the sheep+mafia) and how that'll affect Chuuya

I'll get to the second ask in a bit but I'm combining these because they're related.

About the first ask: I mean, yeah, you're right about this. I don't know that I'd consider it so much "ignoring" though as "the benefits outweigh the costs so whatever", and I do want to state that I'm pretty sure Mori is genuinely at least a little fond of Chuuya (see: their conversation about leadership at the end of Fifteen), and his Mafia colleagues do respect him.

But yeah, you are absolutely right to say that there is a pattern of people who want Chuuya for his ability and his loyalty, and/or reduced him down to these traits. Playing hot potato with the escaped military lab experiment and the Mafia won (<-simplification for the funnies but still).

But here's the thing: if this was the end of it, we might expect to see some resentment mixed in there from Chuuya. He was blackmailed with the Sheep's lives. His past was intentionally locked away from him until he worked his way up to executive. That's... not great.

But instead we find pretty much only gratitude from him. Why?

Well, see, there's a reason I put the return of Chuuya's screwed up self-concept in the tags on that post, because it's kind of at the heart of his impressive loyalty. Chuuya believes that since he is the one with the strongest power, that makes him responsible for protecting everyone else, which means that he rationalizes any concern or protection directed at him as something "above and beyond", and worthy of recognition and repayment. Remember that he genuinely felt like just a vessel for power and nothing else for apparently quite a bit of his childhood, and the Sheep emphasizing that he owed them for taking him in probably did not help.

When it comes to having his back, the Mafia did this for him in a way no one else did. They protect their own, a value that aligns closely with Chuuya's own personal philosophy. The Mafia is also relatively safe from external threat, if we recall Dazai's pitch to Odasaku in Day I Picked Up Dazai - Odasaku is being targeted, but no one in their right mind would challenge the Mafia just to get to him. So, the Mafia has provided Chuuya with protection, comradery, and relative safety, which in my mind all condenses into a central need that takes precedence over everything else to him.

Chuuya's core need is actually stability.

And this makes quite a bit of sense. He started off as a kid with no memories and a whole lot of trauma he couldn't remember the roots of. One's past is a source of stability, but that had been taken from him. His position as leader of the Sheep was shaky. Even his identity as a human being was called into question. Chuuya as a kid and teen was largely untethered, separate from everyone else with no way to ground himself. Under those circumstances, something that originated as a chain could easily become a safety rope.

And once Chuuya found this stability, there was really no need for him to change anything. So he didn't. He settled into his new role and became really, really good at it, and didn't bother to re-evaluate beyond that. Why would he? That minimal core need has been met, despite the rocky beginning.

Which brings me to this second ask because it's actually incredibly relevant. Yes, Chuuya and Sigma are alike. You are not losing it anon.

Let's run a list, shall we? They both awoke with no memories and a missing history, and had their humanity called into question. They were used and blackmailed repeatedly, which they were, fortunately and unfortunately, consciously aware of. When they find something that matters to them, they become violently defensive of it. They both operate on principles of reciprocity and transaction because that is what they believe to be normal in relationships (Sigma's ability even is quite literally a transaction!). They both have pretty low standards for their assistance (Sigma hearing one (1) single person (Atsushi) be kind to him in what he thought were his last moments, Chuuya "You have helped Chuuya! Chuuya will now kill and die for you!" Nakahara).

Above all else, they are looking for stability. They are looking for a home.

As of yet, Sigma hasn't found a true home, but it seems we may be building up to him joining the ADA. The key part is Sigma's realization that the Agency doesn't rely solely on transaction. Dazai is not using the Agency, the Agency is not using Dazai. The Agency members are all helping each other. They care about each other.

Meanwhile, Chuuya has already found a place that provides his core need, but there's one caveat about the Mafia that should be clarified here - as Odasaku says in Dark Era, people within its ranks don't talk about personal matters and feelings with each other, and everyone instead keeps to themselves. If you don't talk about your issues or air them out, relations tend to stay personally shallow and dictated almost entirely by the demands and positions of the organization. This is not a conducive environment for reappraisal or self-exploration.

Unfortunately, this is ideal for Mr. Chuuya "I'll keep all my emotions right here and then one day I'll die" Nakahara.

Chuuya has found some measure of stability - solace in his own self-defined identity in spite of the initial ambiguity as to his humanity. "This is who I am", "Till those flames die down, I can't just do whatever I want", "I'm gonna do what I need to do", etc. But importantly, this identity is entangled in whichever group he happens to be a part of, which in this case is the Mafia. This kind of self-identity cannot exist without the structure of an organization. It relies on the reciprocity of a group.

Moreover, it relies on Chuuya showing very little vulnerability. Compartmentalize, and move on. He expects that of himself.

So, we've established that Chuuya has his core need for stability met by the Mafia - a relatively secure place that runs on transaction, which is familiar to him - yet it also doesn't push him out of his comfort zone with respect to emotional vulnerability and openness. What this means is that, in the Mafia, Chuuya is practically invincible, both physically (his ability, his martial arts prowess) and emotionally (personal life kept hidden and guarded as a Mafia expectation).

Unfortunately, this means Chuuya also remains stagnant as a character, which finally, finally brings me back to your original question anon.

No, I don't think the vampirism is enough to trigger change in Chuuya's character. Chuuya has some standards, and treating him like a tool (and Dazai's tool, no less) is going to seriously piss him off, but that's anger at Fyodor, and it doesn't impact his stability with the Mafia any which way. If Chuuya had've been forced to activate Corruption to escape the drowning then maybe he would've been angry with Dazai enough for something to shift (activation being his own choice is a huge theme with them), but since he didn't, I expect Chuuya will unfortunately just shrug it off and roll with it. Probably yell at him for a bit, but nothing that would have far-reaching consequences for his character unless there is something about his current situation we don't yet know.

I think for Chuuya to grow and change as a character, he needs something major to shift in his life - the threat has to come from within his place of security. He needs to be destabilized. Something needs to happen that specifically targets his tethers and his self-concept.

Personally, my money's on the destabilization of his bond with Mori, who he has the most respect for, because that might trigger development related to leadership and goals, but I guess we'll see. I think it'll probably be incredibly heart wrenching and hurt us all severely, whatever it is.

Huh. I wrote a lot. Congrats for making it to the end! I'm going to sleep now. :D

—

Edited by removing the entire middle section because it was absolute garbage and probably should’ve been its own post. I hope the rest of this holds up. That’s what I get for writing things at 2 in the morning I guess.

[fakeoutbf]

five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety

[essektheylyss]

I put on the Empire Sibling Mighty Vibes for the first time in a while in honor of the first day of class and can we please have more Mighty Vibes. I'm begging. I love them so much.

[zhongrin]

since i finally have a breather, i'm speedrunning simulanka for the extra encounter points and

hubby, your shaft is too big /smacked

[hella1975]

why do you write? what do you think about, what drives you?

passion love grief rage spite confusion loneliness community shame boredom perfectionism fun because i dont know how to stop

[fudgecake-charlie]

sorry i havent been online i listened to one of my narrative playlists and ended up stuck down a fl Seeking plotline rabbit hole on the wiki. walked out there no longer normal, covered in wounds and wax and betrayal etc. don't talk to me about it. tag ramble

[odessa-castle]

For the 500 words thing, apologies if it's longer than 500, feel free to cut off wherever

At last, Ravengard raises his arm. Astarion turns to the side out of reflex, shielding his face with his hand. All these years, Cazador sneers in his head, and still you cannot muzzle that mouth of yours. Must I do it for you?

Ravengard doesn’t strike him. He brings his hand nearer to Astarion’s face, the tips of his fingers an inch away from one of Astarion’s stray curls. “Perhaps I have been foolish,” he says. The heat is back in his voice, but it’s contained, simmering below the surface. “I was too quick to assign fault to Wyll himself for his conduct. But the source of this sickness – this madness – comes not from within him, but within you.”

Dread curls in Astarion’s gut.

“I should have known from the moment you were paraded in front of me,” Ravengard continues. His hateful eyes rake up and down Astarion’s body. “Yours is a dangerous beauty.”

A familiar, flat buzz builds in Astarion’s ears. He remembers that Ravengard had – not seemed immune to Astarion’s particular appeal, that night. The thought produced no sickening lurch in him then. Well, nothing beyond the usual, at least. It does now. Each passing second crawls across his skin. He feels himself begin to step halfway out of his body.

Ravengard’s fingers brush that loose curl of hair now, toying with it. “I can see how Wyll might have been…so taken in.”

Astarion slaps Ravengard’s hand away before his mind catches up with him. He – gods. He’s not permitted to refuse this. Not under any circumstances. Cazador would flay him open for it. For all he knows, Ravengard might do the same. He searches, desperately, for some trace of Wyll in his father, the smallest scrap of that man he’s come to – to admire. To –

“Whatever you’re thinking, whatever you’re imagining right now –” he begins. He stops. Swallows. “It would be rape. No amount of coin could change that.”

And at that, Ravengard retreats. He inhales sharply, shaking his head as though to clear it. “No, I – no.” He props his clenched fist on the table, refuses to meet Astarion’s gaze. “I would not do such a thing.”

Astarion doesn’t know which of them he’s trying to convince. He’s not inclined to salve Ravengard’s conscience, either way. He affects an air of aloof dignity, studying his nails, but can’t fully ignore the tremors in his hand.

Oh boy. This is arguably Ulder’s lowest moment in NLTS thus far — “arguably” because, well, that whole thing where he banishes Wyll, but there were principles behind his decision there. Not the right ones, and despite what he might have been telling himself, not the only and/or most merciful choice he could make under the circumstances! But Ulder’s treatment of Astarion here is pretty skin-crawling! Yes, Ulder backs off once Astarion makes it clear that he doesn't consent, but it says a lot about how Ulder views Astarion that Ulder...assumes Astarion's body is for sale under these circumstances. This isn't the most violent objectification Astarion experiences over the course of NLTS (that would be Chapter 14), but it's still violating.

I spent a while thinking about whether I wanted the scene between Ulder and Astarion to take this particular turn, because while NLTS doesn't paint the most flattering picture of Ulder, I've never wanted him to come across as beyond any hope of redemption in the way that, say, Cazador is. Ulder is abusing his power here in a way he doesn't recognize until it's pointed out to him, because well, a lot of men in power (and I will say men here specifically because irl this behavior is very much a Patriarchy Thing, and the dynamics of masculinity are a significant part of NLTS) don’t question the social rules that prop them up in the first place.

And Ulder is definitely trying to put Astarion in his place here. A prostitute doesn’t get to weigh in on how a duke treats his heir, or how a father treats his son. Astarion is, at the end of the day, a thing to be bought and sold, and Ulder is concerned that Wyll doesn’t recognize this obvious truth.

To Ulder’s (perhaps limited) credit, he’s genuinely ashamed of his behavior here, and ultimately takes Astarion’s point to heart that he’s grown distant from his son — the same way his own father grew distant from him. But as a lot of people pointed out, “I would not do such a thing” is a lot more about Ulder's self-image than it is about Astarion's personhood. This commenter summed up the scene so well:

It’s giving Promising Young Woman. It’s giving a man whose image of himself is more important than whether he does fucking anything to be like that image. It’s giving “if you needed someone to fucking spell it out for you, you absolutely fucking WOULD have done such a thing.”

And yeah -- if Astarion hadn't spoken up (and he was taking a huge gamble by even doing so in the first place), Ulder likely wouldn't have stopped. And it's real fucked up that preventing his own rape ends up falling on Astarion's shoulders here. I think this is also the first time in NLTS that Astarion directly acknowledges, either to himself or others, that what happens to him on a regular basis is, in fact, rape. He's just that used to not even thinking about his own capacity to consent, or that his consent is a thing that matters and needs to be asked for. In a way, the fact that Astarion says no to Ulder here makes it all the more meaningful that he says yes to Wyll later in the chapter; he is, in that moment, genuinely declaring what he wants.

A fair number of folks said that this scene had them worried, and well, that's what I was going for. The threat to Astarion is real here, and it's not quite the same experience of threat that he constantly lives under with Cazador. Cazador is a flagrantly immoral sadist. Ulder thinks that everything he's doing here is morally justifiable, until Astarion tells him as bluntly as possible that it isn't. There's a certain kind of danger that comes about when people in power assume that they are just people, and that their actions must therefore also be just. A lot of evil comes from people who think they're doing good.

[causenessus]

already itching to make a love notes playlist this album already reminds me of suna. also i admire the research and love and dedicate you put into your smaus it’s really cool and inspiring and it’s totally worth it because every single thing you write is actually perfect

THANK YOU SM <33 i'm actually like freaking out with happiness /pos like reading this <3333 I'm so excited to start posting in case u do make a playlist for it!! (I was definitely thinking about that and hoping you'd maybe make another playlist 😔) and AA thank you so much again 😭 this means a lot and is going to help me keep going bc this fight with google maps is about to be gnarly </3

ALSO I'M VV EXCITED TO LISTEN TO THIS ALBUM THANK YOU!! I'm on the lookout for new songs for love notes rn and ik this is going to be a banger

[rozaceous]

please ship spoilers for endgame i cant take the suspense!!!!!

you know, if i was really mean i'd lie and say it was mariko/kabuto endgame, but that's a ship that's too bonkers to seriously acknowledge, and is not a possibility lmao. maybe if it was closer to april fools

ok so i'll give the bare bones of it, but trust that there's more to say as we get there. the tags don't go up until the final chapters. i also don't know that i want ppl reading too much into it in the sense that tcba isn't abt romance, so much as it is abt relationships driving the character motivations. but i also don't want anyone to stress abt it? basically, i'll say this part and ask ppl to hold other questions til the end since the things i really want to say, i want to say with the context of the story behind me. we're not far off from the end either, guys.

obviously, skip if you don't wanna know yet

(sasumari qpr, hakumari long-distance. she has two hands, yo.)

[ozcarma]

Trying to watch 999 let’s plays is such hell to me - NO ONE PLAYS THE GAME RIGHT just shutupshutupshutupshutup and play the game!! Stop trying to make jokes!!!!

I’m too autistic for this, I cannot bear hearing let’s players doing their own voice acting when I adore the game’s VAs too much. Everyone always fucks up Santa’s and Lotus’s voices especially.

I understand the draw of Let’s Plays are largely the people playing them who have gained their own following, but as someone who just loves the game I don’t wanna hear ur stupid banter 💥💥💥 play the game and be intrigued but not TOO intrigued because give it a fuckin minute it’ll explain what’s going on 🙄‼️