#i want to write smth soul crushing but w a happy ending

[hanlimz]

starting a new angsty wip? yeah 😞

[anachronisticcrab]

Nico di Angelo Headcanons

It’s Nico’s birthday! So here are some Headcanons about him

* He wears dresses cause they’re pretty and make his aesthetic pop even more

* He’s royalty. I think his grandma was related to the Savoia’s (Italian royal family) so he grew up royal and shit

* He’s Rromani

* He’s a classics nerd, especially with literature and art

* ARTIST NICO RIGHTS

* He has a huge family after the Giants War, most of them adopted. Reyna, Meg, Rachel, Annabeth, Percy, Jason, Piper, Castor, Mr. D, Hazel, Frank, Leo, Gwen, Will, Austin, Kayla, Chiron, Hestia, Bob, Damasen, Hades, Persephone, Zagreus, Mesperian, Melinoe, Hermes, Castor, Apollo/Lester, Thalia, the troglodytes, Estelle, Sally, Paul, Drew, Mitchell, Clarisse, etc.

* They have the most comfortable bed in the WORLD. Whenever his family can’t sleep, they go to the Hades cabin and they send good dreams their way and chill out on one of the huge comfy beds

* He stress cooks

* All he wants for gifts is more family

* He’s literally a nonna ngl

* He hates IKEA. He calls it the Swedish Mafia and glares whenever someone gets anything IKEA related

* He’s gone vegetarian cause meat just tastes like death to him (not my hc but I’m not sure who originally came up with it, if you know pls tell me)

* He drinks his weight in coffee every day. He’s a caffeine addict

* He’s nonbinary cause duh

* He’s ace cause everyone is

* He hates horror movies. They remind him of Tartarus and he gets rlly bad flashbacks from them, so he doesn’t watch them

* Toasters make him jump. The amount of times he’s stabbed a toaster cause it went off and spooked him is amazing

* He loves Marvel and DC

* He’s amazing at poker

* He wears crowns all the time cuz he’s ROYAL

* He has a shockingly deep voice. No one expects it from him cause he’s short and skinny and looks like he should have a voice like a little flute, but his voice is super deep. It’s one of the reasons ppl are kinda uneasy around him

* He still wants to be a pirate and had a blast on the Argo 2. It was his childhood dream come true— demigods and pirates

* Nico talks with his hands all the time (click here to see my bigger post about it)

* He loves his sisters more than anything cause he’s Italian at heart. Rachel, Drew, Meg, Hazel, Reyna, Estelle and Annabeth are the luckiest people out there

* Contrary to popular belief, Nico is more interested in a career in medicine than Will. Will has a lot of trauma from being a combat medic for years, while Nico wants to learn more about biology and medicine cause it’s come a long way since he was a kid. Will ends up becoming a guidance counsellor

* As I said, Nico’s more likely to do something in medicine, but he doesn’t. He gets a degree in art history and ends up as a museum curator

* Nico has hundreds of books on his shelves and there’s sticky notes with writing on all of them. Little notes, observations, connections, ideas of what something could mean in a deeper way, notes about how Character A was 100% queer and in a loving relationship with characters B and C

* He can’t stand country music. There are a total of two good country songs and he hates the rest of them

* Other than that he listens to pretty much any music. His favourite band is the Ramones cause it’s canon and they’re amazing

* His favourite song is actually My Heart is Buries in Venice tho, not smth by the Ramones

* He’s shockingly good with kids. He’s very entertaining for them to hang out with, he listens to them rant, he plays games with them. Nico’s just great with kids and everyone at CHB loves him

* There is a total of three (3) animals that Nico can stand. They are cats, dogs, and snakes. Anything else and he will despise it forever

* His full name is Domenico Ade Uriele di Angelo. Ade is the italian form of Hades, and Uriele is the Aquarian Angel so I kinda thought it was a good fit lol. Plus Domenico is fun to say

* He’s never told anyone, but he’s actually open to the idea of a poly relationship and has always had a tiny crush on Leo (don’t mind me throwing in a hint of soldezangelo to appease my soul)

* He lives cuddles! If he doesn’t know you well, he won’t touch you with a ten foot pole. But once he gets to know you and he is comfortable around you... he’s s o f t. He falls asleep on ppl all the time

* Percy gave him his address and phone number after the Battle of the Labyrinth (which is how Nico knew where Percy lived at the end of the book)

* I’ve got so many ideas about Percy and Nico being like siblings and you can find a post about that whole deal here

* When Nico was still living on the streets b/w BotL and tlo, he spent some time at both Percy and Rachel’s homes. He and Rachel bonded over painting

* He’s really good at photography

* He can play like 9 instruments

* He doesn’t really get or understand Halloween and Thanksgiving, but he participates

That’s all for now!! Happy birthday to Nico di Angelo!

[callmepippin]

ok so i was tagged by the lovely @lexiklecksi for the 11/11/11 tag, the rules are: answer the 11 questions she asked me, make up my own 11 questions and then tag 11 ppl to answer those (so if you want you can skip to the questions at the bottom lmao). however as a fair warning: this got Way too long probably bc im rambly today. i tried to limit the stream of consciousness but….

1. current musical obsession: Frank Ocean and related sort of neo-r&b stuff - while writing this im also discovering Childish Gambino’s “Awaken, My Love!” (and also the song Golden Brown, but not bc im listening to it but bc im learning it on both guitar and piano)

2. 3 things i always take with me:

- wallet (or at least my id)

- phone (&earphones)

- cigarettes&lighter

3. what (or who) i miss most in lockdown: i dont rly remember? im so used to the situation by now that i kind of forget to miss what i did when things were “normal”... but i guess going to bars w/ friends, and just being able to go shopping when i need smth

4. pick: either only read 1 book or only read books picked by someone else: i wouldn’t be able to only read one book for the rest of my life! so definitely the second option (esp if i can pick the person who picks the books)

5. why i found your blog/followed you and if i intend to stay: uhh you followed me and when i checked your blog i liked the vibe i guess? also you were v nice in the tags of my music stuff! also ya i like it here, so im staying for a while

6. when and why did i last cry: i genuinely dont know for sure.. the last time i specifically remember crying was my granddad’s funeral, which is three yrs ago this month, but i do know ive cried once or twice since then, i just dont remember for sure when and why.

wait i do remember, i think the last time was when i saw Richard Says Goodbye (live music and movies or books are basically the only reason i rly cry, im not an emotional crier, dont know why).

7. who holds the key to my heart: my partner of five (and a bit) years, whom i love Very Much! (although ofc my heart is not locked, i have so much love to give, just romantically i am very much taken)

8, pick one: star wars/star trek, dobby/gollum, white/black magic, flying/teleportation, time travel: past/future?

- Star Wars

- Gollum (even though i have read hp but still havent read lotr, ive read the hobbit like 4 times tho)

- i think the hard dichotomy btwn white/black magic or like light/dark and good/bad in most fiction is often v flawed bc thats not how the world works, everything is grey areas (e.g. the Jedi are not better than the Sith, both have deeply flawed philosophies). the Force (or any magic for that matter) is not inherently good or evil, it just is. nature isnt abt good or evil, isnt abt opposites but abt balance.

and especially if you work with the occult and magical, i think thats all abt walking the edge between light and dark, life and death, night and day, good and bad etc…

so to answer the question: grey magic lmao, its all abt balance

- teleportation i think, bc while flying is very cool, i think teleportation has more practical uses (although also has danger involved, such as what happens if you teleport into a space that is already occupied by a person or an object? but for the sake of argument, prolly teleportation)

- do not even get me started on time travel.. the implications of time travel to the past are…… complicated to say the least (it only works if you believe in hard determinism, which i wholly do not). so in a practical sense, def to the future (although that is also Problematic within the constraints of our four-dimensional universe/experience).

in a philosophical sense though, ignoring all the paradoxes and laws of time and space, id still pick the future (or maybe no time travel at all), bc i think the past is the past for a reason. we remember it, we learn from it, but ultimately we must leave it behind.

my philosophical problem with traveling to the future is more that you cant just. skip life. so if you travel to the future, it has to be way beyond your own life and direct influence, or youll interfere with yourself and your own future, and thats scientifically, psychologically /and/ philosophically a v bad idea all round, i think.

9. which thoughts keep me awake at night: almost never specific thoughts, but quite often anxiety abt the near future. but theres no like, lingering issues that keep me awake.

10. what id do with you if we were locked up together for 24hrs: i think i’d really like to write with you! make poetry, song lyrics, make art! bc we could rly learn from each other i think and also we could just rly pick each others brain abt mundane, important and transcendental stuff ya know?

11. ask anything: do you have concrete, long term plans for the future, maybe even backup plans? a clear vision of how the rest of your life is going to go? or are you more the type to do what makes you happy now and figure it out as you go along?

my own questions (large variation in vibes and weight, i know):

describe your favourite colour using other senses (like what sound, smell, feeling or w/e do you associate with it)

what’s the best thing that happened to you in the last week, last month and last year?

what’s the one thing/what are the things that help(s) you get up in the moring and keep putting one foot in front of the other?

are you a leftie? (warning: there is a correct answer)

do you play/have you ever played a musical instrument? (and for the sake of completeness, yes i am counting singing as well)

do you have one thing (e.g. a song, movie, book or smth else) that never fails to bring you joy?

do you have one (or more) person(s) you feel you could still hit up after ten yrs of radio silence and you’d still vibe?

what’s your favourite song lyric/line from a poem/quote? and why?

who was your first celebrity crush? (if you’ve ever had one obvsly)

what’s smth you’re looking forward to? could be specific, could be a general thing like a driver’s licence or your own apartment or w/e

this one is specifically to feed my curiosity, indulge me: why did you follow me?

congrats, you’ve managed to reach the end! again, very sorry for the rambles, thanks for sticking around. im tagging @alt-heidi, @terdiscussie, @a-soul-to-cling-to, @ontvreemd, @sarahhnghae and i guess whoever fuckin feels like it? i literally can’t think of 11 ppl on this hell site, so if i forgot you its not personal. if we’re mutuals you’re especially tagged.

[calmtone]

          hello everyone , the name is sab and i’m super excited to be here w u all 😔 everything u need to know abt jaein is under the cut and i’m sort it’s a mess my sister literally isn’t shutting her mouth , so it’s hard for me to concentrate KSMKSMS but , i’d love to plot w u , so hit that like button and i’ll come to u or i can give u my discord if y’all would prefer that !

˗ˏˋ  ( hwang hyunjin. twenty-one. cis male. he/him. ) yang jaein has been at so!ar entertainment for one year. they have been the stylist of legacy since february, 2019. they are known by their family to be altruistic, idealistic + zealous but they can also be meticulous, guarded + flighty. i hope that they can make it in this industry.

TRIGGER WARNING FOR HINTS OF ABUSE .

info .

born in seoul , sk to a beautiful , university student mother and a big business father . his father was ten years her senior .

it was a strange relationship truly , but neither really cared anyways . his mother didn’t care because she loved this man and his father didn’t care because well , he had a beautiful woman on his arm .

there was also the fact that he’d knocked her up and it would’ve been a disgrace to his own family to leave a woman and his child

so the marriage was forced , in his father’s eyes at least . he never quite loved her , not as much as she loved him . her life was molded into something fake and the light in her eyes dwindled as time went on . expected to be a housewife and not what her own dreams wanted her to be .

( she was a fashion design student , was in love with the idea of a simple piece of fabric being turned into something that could brighten eyes and turn heads )

it’s scary what someone would do for love or at least a fabricated version of love she didn’t want to leave , afraid of the truth

thus in turn , growing up jaein had a skewed vision of what love was , he received so much love and encouragement from his mother yet received cold harsh treatment from his father . watched his mother with hearts in her eyes as she watched his father and saw his father write her off like she meant nothing

jaein had a love for fashion from a young age , watching his mother make her own clothing in her small little space in the house , watched her sew fabrics and buttons and jewels together to make a masterpiece . she taught him all she knew , loved the way his eyes lit up like hers would when she was younger . he always found joy in helping his mother pick out pretty dresses and doing her make up

always dreamed of dressing people up like he’d help dress her up

he was always a more introverted child , he found nice company with his mother as mentioned above , she was always his best friend . however his father wanted him to be more , hated to watch his son find a love for something that would get him no where just like his mother . hated to watch him fall in love with smth that was some Prissy shit

when he was ten his father got offered a big job in milan , italy and off jaein went . forced to pack up his life and leave everything behind for a father that cared little about him

he was in heaven though ... kinda ... a fashion hub of the world it felt like his dreams were coming true . however it was while living in italy where his father was really forcing his hand on him

forced him to be apart of the more popular social scene , shoving him into crowds he didn’t do well with . forced his introverted and shy son to be extroverted and outgoing , to attend parties and let people use him however they saw fit . he didn’t make friends , he met ppl that wanted his money , wanted him because he was pretty .

people pushed him around a lot . physically , emotionally .

his father wanted him to be some big business man , take after himself and shit , jaein obviously didn’t want that , he wanted to do fashion and create things . his father wasn’t happy when he told him he’d be moving back to korea ( age 18 ) to pursue a degree in fashion design .

that furthered strained their relationship or whatever relationship they even possessed because his father wasn’t really present as a parental figure , the one time jaein stuck up for himself was the last line for his father who ended up p much disowning him

his mother was still there in his life watching him go to university , she supported his move and pays his tuition behind her husbands back bc she wants to toxically live through her own son as he chases the dreams she had

it was because of that that he had gotten his job at solar . his mother had paid his way in there and he hadn’t found out until recently , putting strain on their relationship because he felt like he couldn’t trust her . he would never tell a soul this though , so it’s his own internal battle !

personality-ish .

generally he’s sweet . kind , selfless , wants to help others more than help himself which leads to destructive tendencies of overworking himself .

he wants to be perfect , he wants to impress others , it’s why he shifts himself so much to fit a mold he doesn’t think he can fit .

his mother cares for him , loves him so much , but there’s always been pressure on his shoulders to be just like his father . he loves fashion he really does , he loves being able to create something that people will love , but he’s way too doubtful of himself , he never thinks anything he does is good enough which is definitely trauma from his father ( now from his mother because he doesn’t know if he should be at solar anymore ) , so he questions whether this is what he’s supposed to be doing or not .

he has hella daddy issues ... is struggling w the relationship w his mom bc of what she’d done . doesn’t talk to them .. talks to his mother on occasion but otherwise he’s pretty mf lonely but pretends to be happy bc he’s so good at pretending !

he’s a gemini . so he’s an annoying little petty whore and is quite moody and finicky and meticulous . he doesn’t trust ppl ... so many factors play into that from his parents to how he was treated by his peers , he’s just guarded and has trust issues up the ass .

yet he can be quite naive and he’s always craved love and affection ( that isn’t rough ) , so he’s thrown himself into things only to get himself hurt in the process ! he just wants validation and tried to get it in the worst way hehe ! like if u tryna get in his pants just be like hey ur amazing and he’ll drop to his knees ANYWAYSFLDKSJF

he can talk for hours once u get him started and get him out of his shell , though he can be quite self conscious about a lot of things

still pretends to be an extrovert but he’s definitely not !

def a romantic , loves the stars , flowers , wants to date and kiss someone but scared u know

he’s like an aesthetic hoe on insta , loves coffee and visiting different cafes whateva

uh he knows he’s bi , but he’s not like out ? kinda ? idk he hasn’t like explicitly said anything about it but like he’s been w both men and women before idk if that makes sense KFKDSM

wanted plots .

cute best friend ! probably someone he knew from korea before he moved to milan ? they always kept in contact , the person that jaein trusts more than anyone else

older sibling figure ! never had siblings , so having someone to sort of guide him would be nice

cuddle buddy bc.... cute /:

give him a lil crush pls ... he’s bi and it would be totally cute to see him get flustered in someone else’s presence and just be totally mf heart eyes ! could be a puppy crush or unrequited or not even that deep ! could be fully returned , whateva !

while he is a stylist , he always really loves make up ? but like hasn’t really dabbled w anyone besides himself ? so maybe a little test subject of sorts !

love / hate is always fun ! jaein can be a lil moody , so getting on his bad side isn’t super tricky 

an ex ! smth angsty and shit ... pls would love the angst

rival ? enemy of sorts ? just someone that jaein doesn’t like and they’re always bickering nd shit 

maybe a first love ? that would be p cute

his test subject ! w fashion and he’s always making them stand for too long and poking them w his pins on accident and it’s just a really precious and supportive relationship