#i want to try to get back into posting again…i do miss it i just haven’t had the energy to do anything really……..
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Oh man I have ideas..
Sevika has a home back in Zaun but she has to have an apartment in Piltover because of councilor duties until she fully adjusts to topside and accepts the insistent offers of a manor. Imagine being her wife and just helping her relax after her first day, cuddling and all that whilst adjusting to the fancy apartment bigger than your old house.
Or..
Sevika taking her wife out for a walk in Piltover, admiring more of the garden as the plants grow upon new soil. A talk about the future whilst holding hands.
Or..
Them renewing their vows, having that damn fancy wedding of the dreams.
Toodles!!!
EEEEEEEEK okay lets do some councilor sevika (also isha and jinx are still alive in this story because i said so. she doesn't need to suffer so much to still be an incredible leader. give her her girls!!!)
men and minors dni
you were the first person approached about sevika representing zaun in piltover's new council post-war.
you were a little concerned to find councilwoman shoola and three members of her personal guard on your front stoop-- and for just a moment you had a flash of anxiety that she was here looking for jinx or isha.
"councilwoman. hello." you say, still surprised. you've met the woman a few times before, both of you attending various re-building efforts around the undercity. she holds up a hand.
"please, dear, we've built a bookshelf together, you've seen me at my lowest. you can call me shoola."
"h-how can i help you counc-- shoola?" you ask. she smiles.
"i'm here regarding your wife."
you frown. "...is she in some kind of trouble?" you ask, already mentally planning how to worm sevika out of her trouble. the councilwoman chuckles.
"quite the opposite, actually. i'd like her to join the council... as an ambassador to the free nation of zaun." she says.
you nearly shit yourself at her words-- sevika's life work casually mentioned like it's just a sidenote. "the-- free?" you ask.
she smiles. "while the deaths of the other councilmembers in the war was a horrible loss, there are some issues i could never get my late colleagues to agree on. now, though... i've been given full authority to reorient the power structure of the council to avoid anymore kirraman's taking over-- and i've always been of the belief that zaun should be free."
"and w-what... you want to arrest jinx in exchange for it?" you ask.
shoola chuckles. "no."
"y-you want isha?" you ask. shoola laughs again.
"what could i want with a child? no!"
"so... what do you want?" you ask, your voice shaking as the reality of the situation sinks in.
"i just want your help talking sevika into the job. i know she can be... stubbo--?"
"bullheaded?" you guess as shoola searches for a kind word to describe sevika's stubbornness. she chuckles at your description of your wife and nods.
"here." she hands you a stack of papers. "i've outlined the full responsibilities of the job. as well as the benefits she will receive for serving. please. look it over and talk to her, would you?"
you do.
it's an excellent proposal.
as the undercity figures out how it wants to self govern, piltover will fund zaun's public infrastructure as if it's their own-- meaning that the undercity will, practically overnight, have access to things like clean water. and schools. and welfare. they will provide these services for up to fifteen years as zaun finds it's footing.
the position outlined for sevika in piltover's council is a way to assure piltover doesn't back out of their promises-- that somebody is there to call them out when they try to cut corners in helping the young nation of zaun find it's footing.
and, while your wife might miss the more physical aspects of her old work, you can see her chewing out some stingy old councilors for their greed in your minds eye, and you can't help but smile.
"what're you smilin' about?" sevika asks.
you jump and slam the folder in front of you closed, blinking up at your wife.
she's back from her meeting with ran, scar and jericho. the four of them have grown close in these past few months as they coordinate rebuilding efforts for various neighborhoods across zaun. you have to gulp, trying not to get dizzy with the possibilities of what sevika's job offer means for them as a team. as team zaun.
"h-how was your meeting?" you ask. sevika raises an unimpressed eyebrow at you and you huff. she sinks across the table from you, easily pulling the folder out of your grasp.
"meeting was fine. the elementary school bein' built in firelight's territory is almost ready to open. first school in zaun." she says with a smile. "now, what were you smiling at?"
"i was approached by councilwoman shoola this afternoon."
sevika raises an eyebrow at you. "did you two try to build a chair this time?" she teases. you groan and kick her shin, before tapping the folder in her hands.
"no. i was asked to convince my stubborn-ass, incredibly loyal, strong, beautiful, hard-fucking-headed wife to join the fucking council."
sevika blinks. "what?"
"they want you in the new council. serving as an ambassador. to the free nation of zaun, sevika."
sevika blinks again, and then she rips the file open, her silver eyes flying across the confidential text. "the fr-- the free nation of zaun?" she asks, her eyes flying up to yours to confirm. you grin and nod.
sevika flies out of her seat and crawls across the dining room table to reach you, tears flowing down her cheeks as she kisses you like her life depends on it.
you're there when shoola and sevika finally sit down to discuss the opportunity. shoola's the first piltoverian to not turn her nose up at the messy state of your small home-- she even grins at the sound of jinx and isha bickering from their bedroom. "you two have made a lovely home for yourselves, here." she says, sitting down at the table and jumping a bit when a toy squeaks under her bum. "i can almost see the love leaking out of the wallpaper."
"could be black mold." you whisper. sevika and shoola both sputter surprised laughs.
"sevika. have you considered my proposal?" shoola asks.
sevika sighs and nods. "i have a few conditions before i agree." she says.
this surprises you. as if the prospect of representing a free zaun isn't tempting enough, you saw the salary sevika's being offered. it's the kind of money that could buy you a house big enough that all four of you could have your own bathrooms.
(secretly, though, you hope you live in a tiny house forever. you like tripping over your family-- being within reaching distance at all times.)
"first. i'd like you to assign me the budget to employ three of my trusted confidants as advisors. i can give you their identities if you'd like, but i give you my word that they're good peo--"
"done." shoola cuts sevika off, scribbling a quick note in her journal before looking back up at the pair of you with a smile. "what else?" she asks.
you smile a bit. sevika blinks, then gulps. "jinx and her little friend ekko get a full ride to the university up top. they're incredibly gifted, and with a little proper education they could advance zaun--"
"you don't have to convince me, i remember how the war went. without them, we'd all be dead. i can arrange that."
"i don't want to leave zaun. i can't represent these people if i'm not living here. i'll need a car to get--"
"would you like a personal vehicle or a driver each morning and evening?" shoola asks.
sevika blinks. "a-a driver." she says, a little shocked.
"anything else?" shoola asks.
sevika nods. "o-one last thing." she reaches over to grab your hand. you have no idea what she could possibly want beyond what she's asked for-- she's taken care of her friends, her family, and her transport.
"anything." shoola says. you think the woman might mean it.
sevika looks down at her lap and sighs. "we... we never really got married." she says. you blink, not at all understanding why she's telling the councilwoman this. "i mean... we had a party and we exchanged vows," she says, a smile tugging at her lips. you squeeze her hand and her eyes flick up to yours, before shyly darting away like you guys haven't been married for a decade now. like you guys don't have two kids together. "but we never... nobody gets married in zaun. 's expensive. the trip up to the justice is too far. and..." sevika gulps, her voice getting shaky as she looks back up at you. "and you're the reason i've fought so hard for our home in the first place." she whispers.
tears start to well up in your eyes and you let out a shaky laugh. "what, 're you proposing to me again?" you ask. sevika snorts and shakes her head before turning to shoola. the woman's drying her own tears.
"will you arrange to have us married? officially?"
"i'd be honored." shoola agrees.
the wedding is small and intimate, you and sevika, jinx and isha, vi, ran, scar, jericho, and shoola.
the councilwoman took you to a beautiful little garden a few blocks away from the council, and she married you, officially, as the sun set and your girls threw handfuls of confetti into the sky.
your whole party marches through the streets of piltover and back to zaun for the afterparty, councilwoman shoola laughing happily as you introduce her to the zaunite tradition of barcrawling.
each bar you enter, jericho happily announces that you and sevika have been freshly married. sevika, being the new spokeswoman of zaun, is quite the celebrity now. all of this is to say, you spend the night drinking many free drinks, hugging many drunk strangers, and kissing your wife on request about a thousand times.
it's the best night of your life.
taglist!
@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner
@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther
@sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart
@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette
@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp
@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner
@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke
@lavandasz @strawberrykidneystone @sevikasfan @fict1onallyobsessed
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SVT simping
Requested? Yes!
Request: 'Can you do svt simping for you?'
Seungcheol
So obvious. At some point, he won’t even try to deny or hide it. Unabashedly into you and will say it to your face and anyone else’s, even if he flushes a little when he does. He pouts and sulks for literally everyone else, but it will be doubled with you. Really just wants all of your attention 24/7 even if he’s sometimes too proud to say so. Please simp back.
Jeonghan
I’m sorry, but you will never catch him simping. He’s too smooth for that. It’s all smug looks and cool exteriors when he’s around you. But if only anyone knew that he has notifications on for all of your socials when you post. Or has set his phone to vibrate or ring differently when it’s you that reaches out to him so he’s sure not to miss it. Or knows your phone number by heart in case something ever happens to his phone and he loses it. Will firmly deny any of these simping allegations if they’re brought to his attention.
Joshua
Have you ever opened a door for yourself? Or pulled your own chair out? Or buckled your own seatbelt? I know, I know, he’s truly just a gentleman, but he works overtime on it when it comes to you. I don’t think anyone can even make fun of him for it because he wouldn’t pay attention to any teasing anyway. He’s way too busy seeing what you need next.
Jun
Does not hear anyone else when you’re talking in a conversation. In fact, gets a little irritated if someone else is talking too long and keeping him from hearing your voice. Will absolutely not be subtle when he turns to you and goes, “oh well, anyway, what were you saying?” Just to make it your turn again.
Hoshi
The opposite of Jun. Sometimes does not hear a word you say. His eyes glaze over, too busy looking at your features. He really, really tries sometimes to listen, but if he gets distracted a lot of the noise is muffled by his own internal screaming of ‘what do you mean they’re talking to me?? What do you mean they’re mine???’ Down bad.
Wonwoo
Ooo talk about preferential treatment. I have this image that Mingyu could ask him to go do something with him and he’ll flat out say no, but five minutes later you ask him to do the very same thing and he’ll get a little heart-eyed and say sure. Makes Mingyu’s head explode and the whole group chat will know just how down bad Wonu is, but he’s totally unfazed by it.
Woozi
No one will ever know if it’s in a public facet. Super private about it, but in said private setting, someone might witness him babying you and waiting on you, calling you sweet nicknames, all with a super cheesy smile. It really warms his group members hearts if they ever see it so they’ll never say anything bad about it. Plus, they’re scared of him so…
DK
There was never any doubt that he was a simp. Might as well tell you, ‘I’m a simp’. Glued to your side and hooked on your every word. If his group members, or even you, say something about it, he’ll smile and nod, going ‘uh huh. What about it?’ Permanent heart eyes.
Mingyu
Might try to be strong, but will fail miserably. Might try to deny the simping allegations from his group members and might even pout about it, because he is not a simp!!! But then you call or come up to him and say ‘Mingyu, can you help me with this?’ And he’s flying out of his seat. Really, all you have to do is need him and he’s folding, accepting any teasing that is most certainly coming his way.
Minghao
Another subtle one, but it’s still definitely there. It’s in how he chooses to spend his free time with you instead of by himself or with his group members and other friends. But the dead giveaway is how he looks at you when you talk. You know how Jeonghan might get a little gaslighty sometimes? Minghao will definitely take a page out of his book, saying ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about, it’s rude to not look at someone when they talk.’ Super soft about you and tries to be super secretive about it.
Seungkwan
It is so obvious with how he lets you get away with anything. Did something embarrassing? He will eventually let you live it down. Call him when he is busy? Acts irritated and is far from it. You cheat at a game with Jeonghan? He’s not even that mad because you look happy to have won, albeit unfairly. The members will call him out for it sometimes and he’ll turn his wrath to them instead. They will never get away with anything if they directly address his simping behavior.
Vernon
Now I think he might like a pretty significant amount of alone time. So it’s a huge sign for his group members when he spends most of that time usually reserved for alone time with you instead. It’s the days off that he’ll spend sun up to sun down with you doing whatever. Or the late night phone calls that last hours while he wears a bit of a dopey smile. If his group members call him a simp, he’ll shrug and say okay. Totally unbothered to be that.
Chan
Totally obvious by how he never lets you breathe. Constantly drowning you in physical affection and compliments. Will look a little faint if you ever seem shy about any of this, but especially if you dish it out as well. I know I said this earlier, but please simp back. It would annoy his group members so much!!!
#seventeen#svt#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#seventeen reactions#svt reactions#seventeen imagines#svt imagines#seungcheol#jeonghan#joshua#jun#hoshi#wonwoo#woozi#dk#mingyu#minghao#seungkwan#vernon#dino
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DIDN'T GIVE UP 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
pairing; rafe cameron x sweetie!reader
summary; after getting out of rehab, rafe is desperate to be intimate with you, so it feels like his whole world falls apart when he’s unable to arouse himself. but with plenty of commitment and a promise not to give up, he finally manages to succeed, even if it’s not in the way that you’d both wished for
content; talk of addiction and rehab, brief mention of overdose, erectile dysfunction, masturbation, brief handjob
author's note; inspired by a few conversations had over on @starfxkrinc about post rehab rafe. I'm super happy with how this one turned out, I really love exploring these sides of rafe
you hold rafe’s hand as you both walk inside. tonight has been so special, your first date since rafe got out of rehab. it had been intimate and quiet and comfortable. a lovely meal at the local gourmet restaurant filled with gentle loving touches had left you both wanting more, a more that neither of you had had for a while.
even before rehab, rafe had just stopped having sex with you. you’d thought you might get somewhere but then the od happened and he’d needed to go to rehab which meant you didn’t even see him for months.
you’re both so touch starved, no words need to be spoken before you’re both making your way up to the bedroom, kissing and fumbling with each other’s clothes, quickly and desperately.
“god— missed you so much,” he murmurs, hands on your hips as he backs through the bedroom door, turning and kicking it shut like he always used to when you first started sneaking around together.
you moan softly “me too. missed you rafe.” one of your hands wraps around his neck and the other comes down to palm at him through his pants, his bulge is noticeable but he’s not hard yet. you undo his zipper and touch him through his boxers.
you both move back towards the bed and you pull his dick out, taking it in your hand and starting to jerk him off, but you both notice something. that something being nothing, nothing is happening. his dick isn’t doing anything.
rafe frowns and you do the same, both of you look down as your hand keeps moving for no reaction. after about thirty seconds rafe steps away, “shit I– I didn’t know that would happen.” he rubs the back of his neck, “shit… shit.”
you step forward and place a hand on his arm, “oh rafe… hey I’m sure its normal.. you did just get outta rehab,” you try to pull him to look at you but he doesn’t, he stares straight at the floor and shrugs you off.
“no… I.. this happens when I’m high not– I’ve been sober for two months.” he exaggerates, you can hear his voice beginning to break. you had considered that this might be an obstacle but you weren’t expecting him to react like this, surely all it’s going to take is a bit of trial and error until he can get it up with as much ease as he used to.
though you suppose this must be hard for him. finally getting some normality back and he can’t even properly enjoy it. and you know how much he hates to feel emasculated. maybe it is a big deal for him. even though it’s not guaranteed to happen yet, the imminent possibility must have shocked him into a panic.
that’s fine, you’ve dealt with rafe under much more serious circumstances.
you step forward, more confident now that you have an idea of what the problem is and how you can solve it. “rafe, sweetie don’t panic,” you speak gently, “we’re gonna sort this out okay?”
rafe looks down at you, “sorry– sorry I’m.. just wasn’t expectin’ it..” he scratches the back of his neck, looking down at his uncovered self. you nod, understanding his distress.
“that’s okay, it was a surprise huh?” you stroke his arm gently, “you wanna try again?” you ask gently and he nods shakily, taking a calming breath before letting you guide him to the bed. he sits down first and then you climb on after him, straddling his lap and quickly managing to retain the mood you were in before.
you grind down a little and his hands come to your hips to help your movements like he normally would but he’s quickly letting out an agitated noise and pushing you off. “it’s not working,” he groans in frustration.
you pull yourself up to sit next to him. your hand comes to his chest, “oh baby,” you coo as you notice the tears welling in his eyes that he’s so obviously trying to hold back. in his mind not being able to get aroused is bad enough, crying would just make him pathetic.
“what do you wanna do huh?” you pry, stroking his chest now and coming up to kiss his shoulder. “I’m sure that there are things we can try… it’s only been a couple of minutes.” you try to reassure him but you’re pretty sure he’s going to be inconsolable until he can feel confident in himself again. in his mind, a couple of minutes should mean you’re already halfway through round two.
“I– I don’t understand,” he sniffles pitifully, not daring to make eye contact with you as he instead stares down at his completely motionless dick. “this wasn’t supposed to happen anymore.. I- I got sober.”
you kiss him again, “you did baby, you got sober,” you smile sympathetically, “and this is normal, its normal to have erectile dysfunction after stuff like this.” though that reassurance sets him off more.
“don’t– don’t call it that,” he snaps ever so slightly, shoulders tensing and momentarily shrugging your hand away, “I don’t– I can’t have a dysfunction, okay it’s– it’s gotta work.” his voice breaks just a little.
you nod, “okay… okay then we’ll make it work, okay?” you move your body so that you can look him in the eyes, you bring your hand up to cup his face. “you just tell me what you need, okay? we can do whatever you want, whatevers gonna help you.”
he thinks for a moment, you can see the cogs in his brain turning behind his eyes as he tries to find something that he thinks may help him. his lips are parted and his cheeks are slightly pink. he eventually seems to come to a conclusion, he hesitates for a moment before speaking tentatively, “can uh.. can I try doin’ it myself?”
you nod, “yeah, course baby.” you smile, proud of him for being able to articulate his need, “where do you want me? should I give you some privacy or–”
rafe shakes his head, “can you stay,” he asks, “please… just.. I really need you to be here.” he tries to avert his eyes, he’s embarrassed, you can tell, he reeks of humiliation and you wish that you could just take it away from him. after all that he’s been through in the past few months you feel this is the last thing he deserves.
“I’ll stay here,” you affirm, “I’ll stay here as long as you need okay? you just do whatever you need to do.” you move with him as his hand comes to grasp yours whilst the other supports him while he shakily manoeuvres himself to half sit half lay against the headboard.
you stay on the edge of the bed, keeping a hold of his hand as that is evidently what he wants you to do. his chest rises and falls slowly as he pushes his pants further down and then gently grasps his soft dick.
he begins to move tentatively, doing his best to throw his head back and not think about it. you stay quiet, just letting him figure it out for himself.
he manages to get it up, a little, you notice a look of clear relief on his face as he relishes in the sensation he’d worried that he wouldn’t get back. his movement quickens and then his face falls as he loses it.
you stroke his thumb with your own, “it’s okay baby, just take your time.” you murmur softly as his face scrunches up in annoyance. but he perseveres, hand going back down to try once again.
he tries, he really tries. he tries so many times, over and over again, and to both of your increasing dismay he keeps losing it over and over again too.
poor rafe, tears slip down his cheeks and he groans from sadness and surely a little pain at the fact that he’s basically rubbed himself raw down there. his tip is pink and angry, you have half a mind to tell him to stop but you fear he may hurt himself more if he can’t manage or stop on his own terms.
he huffs sadly. he knows he needs to stop too, “just– just one more try.” he says, “one more.” he nods decisively before looking up to you, almost as if to ask for your blessing to just try one more time.
of course you nod, “yeah, one more time. you’ve got this rafe,” you tell him, squeezing his hand reassuringly with a loving smile, hoping to encourage him to finally get it.
rafe starts again, slowly at first and then he builds up his movements, it takes a long few minutes but he manages to get himself hard, fully hard. he grunts and groans and you have to stop yourself from slipping a hand under your own underwear so as not to distract him from his moment.
after another long few minutes he practically cries out, then whimpers and then tears of relief fall down his cheeks as he finally cums. it’s not a lot, and it doesn’t last long, but it does him good. the feeling simply overwhelms him and he finally feels reassured that he can be normal again.
once he’s ridden it out you wipe the tears from his cheek with your free hand, “hey.” you smile down at him, “well done, you did so good.” you speak gently, “I’m so proud of you, you didn’t give up.”
rafe smiles, his previous humiliation replaced with pure bliss and relief, “yeah,” he nods, sighing breaths of relief, “didn’t give up.” maybe this evening didn’t go exactly as expected, but you think, with the circumstances, it turned out okay.
#rafe cameron prompt#sweetie!reader#cw addiction#rafe cameron concept#rafe cameron one shot#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron
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Liminal Jason part 3
For those of you that saw the blip earlier, when I tried to post this but it broke cause it was too long, here is the real thing. Masterpost for earlier parts.
Sorry again. And slight tw for panic attack
Jason woke up slowly, taking in his surroundings as he adjusted to being awake. It was quiet, and a little humid. He was on a bed, could feel the sheets beneath him, and he wasn’t restrained at all. There was a moment of confusion, because when you wake up after being attacked like that you usually end up dead or a hostage. There was a creeping realization dawning in the back of his mind. He didn’t want to acknowledge it. He opened his eyes, not wanting his suspicions to be true. But he was in a holding cell in the cave, and he realized what must have happened. Then he was pissed.
He let out a growl, pushing to sit up on the bed. He thought they were doing better. He thought his family trusted him again. His growl was angry, foreboding, telling of the danger and anger in his thoughts. But his head was pounding from the sedative. They knew he hated needles. Hated drugs. Why would they do this to him, trick him like this when they knew how he felt about it. The haze in his head, making his thoughts heavy, and doing nothing but reminding him of all the harm drugs have done to the people around him. He stopped growling, hoping the quiet would help. Much less angry, the clouds in his head starting to make him sad and breathless. He hopes the effects wear off soon. He can’t focus. There is something important that he is missing. He is forgetting something, the spiral of his thoughts and emotions starting to lean towards hysteria. He’s alone. Trapped and alone, mind heavy with fog. He can’t think, why is he stuck here? His breath starts coming faster, increasing while his heart starts to race. He tries to keep quiet, and calm down. A whimper escapes him as he finds a corner and slides down the wall. Then he heard a keen. Close, probably coming from one of the other cells. The sound cuts through the haze. Important, a strike of clarity hitting him with a pulse as he remembers the kid. There was a kid with him.
Danny. Jason hears him call out again, a sharp keen of panic-confusion, and Jason needs to help him. Jason stumbles up, leaning on the wall for support. He heads towards the door, but he was familiar with how the cells worked. He reached it and of course it was locked. He attempted to manually override, but the pad inside the cell was locked down. The cell can only be opened once someone on the inside clears whoever is inside it. Created for instances where one of them has been incapacitated by a new strain of fear gas, or a new Ivy concoction. To hold someone until an antidote can be created. There was no getting out of here before the other came by.
Hopefully, they’re on their way now, seeing him awake on the cameras. Jason has some choice words to be had about his situation, angry seething inside him as the panic from earlier recedes.
Danny lets out another keen, breathy and biting and Jason hears him start to panic. Jason still has to do what he can. He can’t reach him, but he can try and calm him down. They’re in this together, and Jason is going to do whatever he can for the kid. He let out a rumble, steady and calm in response to Danny’s cries. His rumble is filled with annoyance, but still said okay-here-safe.
Danny is silent for a moment before he hums back a confused-trust. It’s closer, louder, like Danny has moved to be right on the other side of the wall from Jason. This kid, who just had his world destroyed, came here alone and afraid, and he trusts Jason. Screw yelling at the Bats. Danny needs him, and priority one is getting Danny to a place he can feel safe.
A soft churring sound leaves Jason, sweet and caring, and Jason hopes the kid knows that he is going to do everything he can for him. Then Jason hears Danny let out a short purr, a quiet susurration, that ends as quickly as it starts. Jason is stunned by how much faith Danny is putting in him. How much Jason cares for this boy he just met.
The bats can pry this boy out from his cold, dead hands.
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Act 3 Thoughts
Watched Wicked, came home, waited 20 minutes, binged Act 3. I do not recommend this lifestyle. Anyway...
I was so satisfied with where we ended up, but I would have also appreciated about 20 minutes to an hour more. It felt like some beats were skipped over, they wanted to get to specific endings and didn't have the time to wrap them up as neatly as I would've liked.
Maddie is a good example. She's a plant for Ambessa, okay but when and why did she become one? She couldn't have been one before Cait being named commander and when we next see her she's pushing for Cait to take power back from Ambessa. Did Ambessa just message her right after Cait and Vi started working together again as like a "the woman you love's actual love is back in the picture, you can either wallow or get revenge with me", but also made a smarmy remark about Cait 'at least being warm' or something. We didn't need to absolve Cait or villainize Maddie for their 'relationship' because they didn't even have a relationship-just a coping mechanism for Cait, similar to Vi's drinking. At best it was all unnecessary and at worst a waste of time.
Away from that, I want to focus on some good.
I am officially a JayVik shipper now. Them disappearing into a void together, encircled with each other, after Viktor spend however long within timelines/multiverses in hopes of finding a Jayce able to bring him back to his humanity? Come on, they needed to kiss. Especially after Jayce and Mel's low key break up. Honestly we were denied the three of them working together, because they would have been unstoppable.
Speaking of Mel, I love her. I love her design, her powers, her matricide, her taking command of Ambessa's armies, etc. I wish we could have seen more of her adapting to her new powers, finding peace with what she now is. There could have been a cool interaction with Viktor over how Arcane power has changed them both for better and worse.
I don't think Mel's story is done. With other characters, I can see them coming in for future story arcs as like, cameos or background details, but if the next LoL story is in Noxus I fully expect Mel to be a major player again.
Back to Jayce. I like Jayce, that could be my Arcane hot take, and I definitely want to write something more in depth on him. On all the characters really. For now, I'll just say that his determination to destroy everything he has built, because the only creation worth saving is his relationship with Viktor is just... glorious.
Viktor was amazing. I love Viktor in the lore, and they took his traits from the lore and amped them up to eleven. His body being destroyed and rebuilt, the process of which has chipped away his humanity and mutilated his dreams. He lives up to his own quote: "In the pursuit of great, we failed to do good. We have to make it right."
Ekko is a character I never realize I miss. That sounds mean, it probably is, but I am never the less so happy to see him every time. It's like finding the missing piece you didn't even know was lost: that is Ekko to me. His mini adventure in the parallel universe was adorable. Us getting to see what could've been alongside learning what matters most to Ekko, him getting a taste of a near perfect life and still choosing to return to his own time. That's why Ekko is the true hero of this story.
In terms of Jinx, I'll just say I'm not a hundred percent sure she's dead. The airship leaving at the end followed by her scribbled sign off, plus not getting a dead body shot. It was definitely left open ended. Her looking to do something good, to not mess up, alongside her fear of not wanting to try again because she is just tired of failure, of being a Jinx, was too real in many ways. I will go in depth on her at a later date.
Caitlyn's arc is going to be argued about, no question. It needed more time (see the start of this long post) to make her point of her anger burning away, of it not being sustainable, hit harder. I would have made her realize what her anger was doing to Vi, have Jinx point out that they really are acting the same in their treatment of Vi, and use the whole Ambessa was literally stoking the fires of her hatred to help fit what time they had left. Honestly just have Cait learn Ambessa was the one behind the memorial attack, that would be a much better way to explain her anger diminishing enough to look beyond her own hurt to realize and take account of her mistakes.
Vi, as usual, needed more screen time. Not necessarily because her story would've been helped by it like in act two, but just because I wanted her to have more time to enjoy her life. I went into act three with the sole hope that Vi would have a nice day, only for her to loose everything again. The only people she has left are Cait and Ekko, and god help anyone who tries something against those too now. Her ending being the chance to finally rest, to lean on someone else, was beautiful. She is my favorite character and please let her have only good things in the future, she was traumatized in almost every scene this season please-
Nobody tell Vi that in a universe where she died young everyone else ended up living. It would destroy her.
Vi and Cait relationship was great. I wouldn't say it was rushed in act three, because it felt like it was where it should be for a final batch of episodes, if that makes sense. It felt like the set up was Cait being genuinely remorseful and Vi just wanting someone in her life who wanted her in return. It helps that they have great chemistry and that when given the chance they fit so neatly together. I think Jinx encouraging Vi to be with Cait is what sold it to me. Jinx realizing how much Vi has given/sacrificed and giving her blessing for her sister to be happy with someone she disapproves of; not to mention Cait pulling the guards from their posts to give Vi the chance to actually meet Jinx in order to have that conversation. All in all, it comes down to Vi's "I don't care" because that's really all there is too it for them. Vi is done being miserable and Cait makes her happy, vice versa. Cait is someone Vi can rely on, Vi is someone Cait can find strength in.
Spitfire round:
Sevika being made a councilor
Every single one of Mel, Cait, and Jayce's designs were 10/10s
Vi not being given an actual uniform, just armor and the gloves
Jinx cutting her hair further to match Vi
Ekko getting his crystal sword/bats
Heimerdinger dying after living a life where he could make his city something to be proud of
I was fully expecting Vander and Silco to kiss in that one shot
Everything with Benzo
Loris' name being said
Vi humming the song and the song being their mother's lullaby
Viktor being held within the Herald
Sky leaving so Viktor was free to bring Jayce to his space mind palace
Caitlyn's rifle never surviving
Fishman McBlue being the only one of Cait's soldiers to stick to his guns and stay loyal
Sevika and Shoola side eyeing each other
Vander and little Vi and Powder with the bunny
The bunny being a passenger on Jinx's balloon
Singed's messed up family getting a happy ending
#arcane league of legends#arcane#arcane thoughts#arcane season two#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#caitlyn kiramman#ambessa medarda#mel medarda#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik#vi arcane#caitvi#jinx arcane#ekko#ekko arcane#this is all preemptive to some bigger arcane thesis i wanna write for each character#so long as a i remember to do so#wicked was good btw#but seriously wicked and arcane back to back was not my best idea for my mental health
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honestly thinking about the sonadow twitter takeover and how the plummeting to earth thing very much affected Sonic a lot more than it affected Shadow. like in a previous takeover Shadow even made it a positive memory about Sonic trying to save him.
Meanwhile in Prime, Sonic has a moment of saving Shadow from falling into the void that's very reminiscent of that other fall (in the same way Prime has a lot of motivations and references that only make sense from a fandom insider perspective).
Sonic also gets repeatedly tilted, loud and anxious, (which I'm pinning more on RCS's/whatever writer's sense of humor, as is all the voice acting gags) and is coping badly any time Shadow comes out ahead. I think Sonic's insistence on his ability to grow chest fur is as big a Cope as floaties=fashion statement.
But really, Sonic's repeat date suggestions and Shadow's own descriptions of Sonic's behavior (dragging out their races, etc "just to annoy me") reads, whether romantically or platonically, that Sonic just really wants to spend time with Shadow.
He feels he needs to justify it, though, insisting that he and Shadow have something other than occasionally getting in each other's way ("two sides of the same coin") (friendly competition being "why you keep me around-" seemed like odd wording to me).
Needing to make it meaningful, because that's what Shadow wants out of a relationship- Shadow /says/ he dislikes Sonic for being frivolous and inauthentic, that (for instance) his hugs don't mean anything, and that he doesn't want "(Sonic's) kind of hug."
Sonic really wants to spend time with Shadow because he's also intimately aware that that time is limited. Either Shadow's patience (and/or social battery) is limited and he's liable to make a batman exit if he doesn't want to be somewhere (not that we've ever seen Shadow do this in canon, he seems to awkwardly/quietly hang around as if he doesn't realize he can just hit the bricks (or he likes being there and has no idea how to express it re: smiling at Big the Cat) ), Or Sonic and Shadow will get caught up in their own lives again and not see each other until Fate Deigns to Allow Them to Cross Paths Once More.
And Sonic misses him.
(This ties in with my Sonic Frontiers is the Saddest Game Ever posting from a while back, too. Sonic is lonely AF and Needs Other People to Talk To or he'll start talking to the walls and robots, and Shadow will almost always either talk back or groan in exasperation, which is as good a reaction as any.)
All this, plus Sonic's opinion flip-flops (shopping with Amy vs shopping with Shadow, opinion on Orbot) could be either (Sonadow Optimist) Sonic is Down Bad and not even conscious of his mirroring Shadow/trying to appeal to Shadow, or (Sonadow/overall Pessimist) Sonic trying to appeal to the Most Popular Character Right Now and getting increasingly desperate as he is rebuffed.
A few of these Twitter Takeovers have had moments of Sonic in particular getting thrown off and not really able to recover. (which makes me question what the writing is like, if there's any at all and these VA's aren't just riffing on an outline. Considering they don't talk over each other constantly, there must be something like a script, but it also does occasionally feel like a bad roleplay (and I've been a bad roleplayer).) It leads to a Something Is Wrong feeling in the "We're doing this for fun" question-answering joke show. Sonic needs therapy. (We all need therapy.)
Meanwhile, Shadow really is pulling out all the grunts, groans, and whines with Sonic that, if scripted, would be egregious as hell to read or write. He doesn't make these noises in the games (or shows, really?) mostly because there's a sort of efficiency necessary to production that cuts out that interpersonal realism and partly because it's annoying? Shadow, you're the annoying one?
Unrelated, everybody latched on to Sonic's "Go off, King" but nobody even noticed Shadow's "Deal With It."(sunglasses drop) How soon we forget the sacred texts and/or the deep magic, I guess? (It's an old meme, but it checks out!)
#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonadow#I dont accept the twitter takeovers as canon#there is no lore here- just corporate sponsored voice actor engagement content#fandom is about fun though so have fun with it#angst i guess#im working on a thing that started in the mid-00s and every New Thing that happens in the Sonic Franchise is an additional rock in my shoe#that I have to debate whether it fits into the project or not and if it does then am i a sellout for including it#or will I ruin my readers suspension of disbelief if I throw it out#i think too much therefore the thing remains unfinished#longpost#long post
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CW: Moderate sim spice - Guide to content warnings
Glenn tried to be in the moment but it was hard. His mind was racing. Silver was an excellent kisser. The werewolf had said it had been a while but it was obviously like riding a bike. Glenn was quietly proud of being the first one to get close to Silver for so long but he wasn't going to tell him that. Silver might think it meant Glenn liked that he had been alone when the opposite was true. The man he was wrapped around had a good heart, and Glenn wished he hadn't shut himself off from society, from love. But guilt was a tricky thing. He didn't blame Silver for wanting to run away from it all.
*waves* Let me explain for anyone new. My sims have woohoo drives and like to get it on but I know reading that isn't enjoyable for everyone. The text below contains that so if you are only here for the plot, or it makes you feel uncomfortable, please feel free to skip the rest of this post. You will not miss anything essential to the plot by not reading it.
Silver: *between kisses* Watcher you do taste good
Glenn: *giggling* Thank you *kisses* I have a whole dental hygiene routine
Silver: I love that you take care of yourself
Glenn: I can take care of you to if you let me
Glenn could feel Silver start to smile. He ran his hand through Silver's hair and attempted to pull him closer. A foolish mission as they were already chest to chest, but he needed him.
Silver: You ready for me to take your pants off now
Glenn: More than, but let me see you to
Silver placed Glenn gently on the bed and bent down to take his shoes off before removing his own.
Glenn: You know, we kind of have matching shoes
Silver: What do you mean
Glenn: Mine are brown and yours are grey- or silver! Get it, because you're Silver
Silver: *chuckling* It's not to late for me to cancel this woohoo you know
Glenn: I was just trying to say I like it. It's like we were in different places but we still got matching shoes. It's cute
Silver: You're cute Babycakes
Silver pulled off Glenn's jeans and boxers slowly. Glenn felt nervous lying back as Silver examined him, and again he got the feeling Silver wanted to eat him up.
Glenn: Can I do you first
Silver: You sure
Glenn: Yeah
Glenn watched intently as Silver removed his remaining clothes far quicker than he'd done for Glenn. Silver then pushed Glenn back on the bed and straddled him.
Silver: Just use your hands
Glenn: But I want to taste-
Silver: If you do a good job I'll feed you some
Glenn blushed and focused on the task in front of him. He was nervous but Silver stroking his chest and face helped him keep calm. In the end, well, he did get a taste.
Silver: Come here
Silver pulled Glenn up and around so the pair were sitting on the edge of the bed. Silver pulled Glenn's face to his and peppered it with kisses making Glenn chuckle.
Glenn: Beefcake, what are you doing
Silver: You'll see but you need to understand... Werewolves are naturally stronger
Glenn: Promises promises
Silver: I'm serious Glenn. If I do anything that is too strong... anything that hurts you, you need to tell me
Glenn: But then you'll stop
Silver: I'll stop what I'm doing because I don't want to hurt you but I'll finish what I start okay? Don't deal with pain just because you think I won't bring you to a finish
Glenn: I promise Silver, I'll tell you if it's too much
Silver: Good, because I can get a little over enthusiastic sometimes
Glenn: Please, I am the most over enthusiastic
Chuckling, Silver leaned over Glenn's lap and got to work caressing him. Glenn had imagined what it would be like but it was better.
Glenn: Oh, um-
Silver: Too rough?
Glenn: No your hands are perfect I just... So for a potion of plentiful needs you need some pleasure and that's harvested when someone orgasms. Henri gave me some empty vials for it. Would you mind if when I do finish I channel some of that pleasure to be used?
Silver: Do you need like the physical-
Glenn: No, no no. No body fluids required. I just didn't want to do it without asking
Silver smirked and got off the bed to kneel in front of Glenn.
Silver: I don't mind that. Do you mind this?
Glenn: Mind what? You're not doing-
Silver kissed the inside of his thigh and Glenn twitched.
Glenn: I don't mind that
Silver: Uh huh, and this
And so Silver continued to tease Glenn, a kiss here, a soft bite there, until Glenn couldn't stand anymore and begged Silver to finish him off. As Silver enveloped him and his tongue joined in with his hands Glenn struggled to recall the spell for channeling the pleasure, unable to focus on much more than the sensations he was feeling.
When he finished and curled around Silver's head some brain function came back to him. He kissed Silver's back and looked up to watch one of the vials on his shelf fill up with the telltale pink contents. Rather than dissipate in to nothing the pleasure was being stored.
Silver: I was right, you do taste good
Glenn: And you give amazing head
Silver: What can I say, it's my centuries of experience Babycakes
Previous ... Next
#sims 4#the sims#simblr#my sims#ts4#active simblr#GWG#GlennSutherland#SilverClawcrestByCawthornTales
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Born Too Late - Chapter 5
pairing/au: neighbor!joel x reader // no outbreak
Warnings: MDNI!!! SMUT (2 chapters in a row :0.. So much for slow burn), age gap, no use of y/n, i think thats it fr, dirty talk, unprotected p in v (be smart yall, wrap it up) lemme know if i missed something :)
Summary: Sarah's conference is this week and seeing Joel is not on your list of things you want to do. Then he invites you over to talk. You need to set the boundary now, what could go wrong? (1.6k+)
a/n: i tried to write a lil more than usual bc i feel bad about inconsistent posting. (shoutout no personal life bc work/school) hopefully with winter break i can post a couple times a week. also trying to figure out how to make a taglist so if you want to be notified of new chapters, lmk!! If you have any suggestions, give em to a girl. i love to see/hear feedback :) <3
Yet again, you’re avoiding Joel like the plague. You have an unknown amount of missed calls from him. You also have conferences today. This means you have to see him, and you feel like you could throw up. He’s your last one at 5:30 p.m. The day goes by slowly, and you have lunch duty so you don’t have time to finish planning your conference notes. After lunch is the worst part of the day. Kids are tired and barely give a shit, but you have a couple good ones that you try to focus on. Sarah being one of them. The 2:30 bell rings and by 2:40 your class is empty. Conferences start at 3:30 so you finish your notes and try to eat your lunch but that sinking feeling is still there.
By 5:15, you’ve talked to so many parents that they’re all starting to blur. You’re exhausted and would rather be quite literally anywhere else by now. You gather Sarah's notes and sit them on the table, one stack in front of you and a copy of your stack in front of where Joel will sit. Sarah really enjoys a select few books from your classroom library so you sit them on her desk for her in case she's with Joel.
Before you see him, you smell him. The air in your classroom fills with hints of cedarwood and lavender. You look up and Sarah is already at her desk looking at the books. You stand to greet Joel. “Good Evening Mr. Miller” you reach to shake his hand but he doesn't move, he is staring right through you. “Sweet girl, you don't have to call me that.” He says, still staring. You smile and invite him to sit. “So” you start “Sarah is doing phenomenal, she loves to read and write, and is always very engaged. I pulled a few samples of her writings from the last couple weeks so you could read them. They’re the first sheets inside your fold-” “Babygirl” he says gruffly “I know my daughter, and she has excelled and exceeded every year. I'm here for you. Why have you been avoiding me?” You look at him, wide eyed. Half wanting to laugh and half wanting to cry. Your door is open and anyone could walk by and hear him, Sarah could hear him. “Joel I promise I'm not trying to avoid you” you say quietly, lying straight through your teeth. And he knows it. You stand up and walk to close the door and can feel his eyes burning through you. “I just dont think-” “I've called you more times than I can count, and you aint returned a single one. Shit baby, your bra is still on my bedroom floor. Taunting me every night.” You can feel the warmth begin to rise on your face, and between your legs. “Mr.Miller, now is not the time or the place for this conversation. If we could please get back to Sarah.” He looks at you, deadpan. “Alright, come to my house tomorrow night at 8. Sarah will be with her mom for the weekend.” Internally, you groan. Externally, “Yes sir”. You watch him stir in his chair at your words, repositioning himself.
The rest of the conference goes well, Sarah reads some of her writings to her dad, and shows him her favorite books. He asks her so many questions about her work and she is extremely detailed in every answer. He seems like a great dad, and it puts him in a different light for you. Now he isn't only hot, and great at sex, and great at aftercare, but he's a good dad. You are so fucked.
Friday comes and goes, yet again you're exhausted. You take a steaming shower when you get home. Shaving your legs, just because. NOT for Joel. Once out of the shower, you change into a pair of blue biker shorts and an oversized Texans crewneck. You throw your hair up in a bun and make yourself some coffee. Hoping the coffee will help combat the sleepiness, you throw yourself onto the couch and turn on some Grey's Anatomy reruns, and begin to drift into a nap. You try to fight it, but it's inevitable.
You wake up to your phone ringing. You check the time. 8:17. “Shit” you grumble. You flip your phone open without even checking the caller ID. “Hello?” you say, groggily. “There's my sweet girl.” He says, pausing briefly. “You’re late. Better get here fast, dinners gonna be cold.” And before you can get a word out, Joel hangs up. “Fuck fuck FUCK.” You say, frustratedly. This has gone too far, and god forbid your work gets wind of this disaster. You’d be screwed. You throw your shoes on and walk next door.
Joel opens the door right as you walk up the steps. The smells instantly take you back to that morning. You still remember how he felt inside you, how his lips felt on yours, how his hand fit around your neck so perfectly how- “You gonna come in or you just gon’ stand there?” Joel snaps you out of your trance. You follow him the rest of the way in, kicking your shoes off at the door this time. “I made spaghetti with garlic bread. Stuck it in the oven to stay warm since you tried to stand me up.” He says, grinning. “Joel look” you start, “I really appreciate this, and I really had a” “Sit down and eat. We can talk after.” He says, pulling a chair out. He walks around to the fridge, opening the door. You can't stop staring at him. His shoulders so broad, and biceps borderline busting out of his shirt. You’re in a trance. “Red or white?” he says, but you don't hear him. You’re too busy eye fucking him, completely forgetting that the only reason you’re here is to end this before it starts. He turns around and sees you still looking straight through him, undressing him with your eyes. He grins a devilish grin and you snap back to reality. “Huh? Sorry I was-” “No need to explain, I asked if you wanted red or white wine?” he says, grinning “Oh.. ummm.. White please!” He sits the glass next to you, along with your plate of food.
Dinner goes well, you talk about Sarah and how great of a student she is. You realize Joel could go on and on about her, because he does. Before you know it, its 10:00 and you're fighting sleep again. But this conversation needs to happen. You gather the plates and wine glasses and begin doing the dishes. “Darlin’ don't worry about those. I can do them in the morning.” “Joel, we need to talk.” You say, hoping it doesn't come off too harsh. You turn the sink off and dry your hands. “Joel, I had a lot of fun a few weeks ago. But I don’t think-” he cuts you off. “Why’re you thinkin’ baby? Thinkin’ don’t never lead to nothin’ good.” He says, wrapping his hands around your waist. As much as you don’t want to, you lean into his grip. “Joel, please.” you almost moan. “I don’t want to get in trouble at work, it's a huge ethical misconduct if the school were to ever find out, especially since Sarah is in my class.” He’s kissing up your neck, and you aren't doing anything to stop him. “I just want to taste you, just one more time.” He groans into your ear, nibbling on the tip. “This has to be the last time.” you think to yourself.
You don't fight it, you give in. And you enjoy every second of it. Joel picks you up and lays you on the table. The same table you just had dinner on. Your shorts are thrown across the room and your sweatshirt is being used as back support. He’s devouring every inch of your body. Leaving bite marks in unseen places. You hear his belt hit the floor and watch his shirt peel off of his body. You moan at the sight. He lines himself up with your aching cunt. “What was all that earlier about you gettin’ in trouble at work?” he says, comically. “Joel, please not-” and before you can squeak the rest of your sentence out, he's ramming his cock inside you. Over and over. “What's wrong baby? Can’t speak?” he says, laughing. Hes fucking you so hard that the goddamn table is moving. “I need something more stable.” He grunts, picking you up and throwing you on the island, his cock never leaving inside of you. He rubs vigorous circles around your clit, watching your eyes roll into the back of your head. “Dont. Stop. Joel.” You manage to say in between breaths. “I don’t ever plan to babygirl.” He says, rubbing faster. Your release is on the horizon. Everythings gone white and all you can focus on is the sound of skin slapping skin. Your back arches and you scream with pleasure. “Let it out babygirl, cum for me.” Just as you begin to come down, you feel Joel's cock tense up inside you, and he falls to your ear, moaning. He pulls out and you moan gutteraly. You feel the warmth of his seed dripping Yet again, he disappears and reappears with a warm washcloth. Cleaning and kissing every inch of your body.
You get cleaned up and dressed. Joel puts on a pair of sweatpants, no shirt. You could go for round 2 but 2 times is 2 too many. You begin to put your shoes on. “Darlin’, why don't you stay the night?” You instantly get nauseous, and feel tears? Maybe? You barely know this guy, what the fuck? “Joel, I told you. This cannot happen. Not again.” You say, trembling. “We can-” You cut him off. “No more Joel.” and you open the door and walk out. Leaving him just as quickly as you found him.
Masterlist - Chapter 4
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller fic#last of us#neighbor joel x reader#neighbor joel#cliffhanger#joel miller smut#pedro pascal#joel miller x you#the last of us#neighbor!joel#joel x reader#daddy joel#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#my writing#tlou#joel tlou
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🔪 - mr and mrs ghostface
summary: a picture of LA's newest couple goes viral.. but no one knows who they are. who could they be?
warnings: just fluff! was written in a rush
word count: 865
author's note: sorry about this being posted almost a month after halloween, i hope it was worth the wait :) even though it's rushed and i hate the layout of it
author's note 2: read the last author's note at the end of the fic pleaseeee and go to the link on it too tysm!!
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october 31st was the day of the most highly anticipated influencer party of the entire year. it was very exclusive, only certain people could even get on the list. everyone knew about it and wanted to attend.
paparazzi were staged outside, awaiting the guests with bright camera flashes, capturing photos of them in their costumes. they continued to lurk outside throughout the party, desperate to catch any sign of anything worth releasing to the public.
they didn't find much, but they did see a mysterious couple leave the party for a few minutes before going back in. they released a photo of the two together and it immediately went viral.
“NEW IT COUPLE caught hanging around outside LA's most exclusive influencer party. Who could Mr. and Mrs. Ghostface be?”
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millions of likes and around twelve hours later, you wake up from a peaceful sleep in your boyfriend's arms. you had a good dream but you can't seem to remember it right now. you look up to check on matt and he's still fast asleep, messy brown hair scattered across his forehead, and lips slightly parted as soft snores escape them.
you roll over to check your phone which is charging on his nightstand. when doing so, you can see the matching ghostface masks on the floor by his closet. as soon as you look at your phone, you're overwhelmed by the amount of messages and missed calls from yours and matt’s friends.
you scroll through what seems like hundreds of them, trying to make sense of it all. you even peek over at matt's phone, seeing that it's the pretty much the same. finally, you see a message telling you to check LAnews on instagram.
you frantically open the app and type it into your search bar. your jaw drops when you check their most recent post. that “mystery couple” they posted about is you and matt. you shake his arm and he awakens with a startled grunt. “what is it?” he mumbles.
“look!” you put the screen in front of his face and he rubs his eyes trying to figure out exactly what he's looking at. “is that us..?” he asks. “yes!” he sits up, leaning back against the headboard as he stretches. “what are you freaking out about? they didn't say it was us.”
you sigh softly. “yeah, but,” you pause, “what if they find out?” he stays silent and puts his arm around you. “maybe it's about time they find out, baby. it's been almost a year.” your head leans onto his shoulder. “you're right.. but i don't want people to find out from them. it should come from us.”
“okay,” he murmurs as he stretches again, “i'm starving though, let's have breakfast first.” you nod in agreement. “how do pancakes sound?” he gets out of bed excitedly as if he wasn't woken up against his will two minutes ago.
you make your way into the kitchen, pulling the pancake mix out of the cupboard while matt gets a mixing bowl and a frying pan. you make the pancakes together, being careful to stay quiet so as not to wake up chris or nick.
you plate the pancakes, dividing them between you two and putting any toppings you want on them before sitting down and eating. you eat side by side in comfortable silence for a little while before he speaks up between bites, “so how do you think we should announce it?” he shovels another bite of pancake into his mouth as he awaits your response.
“i don't know.. maybe an instagram post? just some cute pictures of us and one from last night.” “yeah, i like that.” you fall silent which doesn't go unnoticed by him. “what are you thinking about?” “i'm just a little worried about what people are gonna say, you know.”
“don't worry about them. you love me right?” you nod at him. “and i love you. so that's it. that's all that matters and nothing will change that.” you realize that he's right. you love him too much to let anyone behind a screen interfere with that. “you're right,” you tell him, pausing to kiss him on the lips, “i love you.”
after finishing your breakfast and cleaning up the dishes, you sit down again and decide on the perfect pictures to use. it takes longer than you thought but you couldn't be happier with the way it turned out.
you hit share on the joint post before you both turn your phones off, awaiting the chaos of the media that will come about in the next few hours, or even days. it feels so nice and freeing to finally have everything out in the open, to have a real relationship and not have to hide anything.
you both catch yourselves glancing at your phones. “we should do something to distract ourselves,” you tell matt, “we can't just wait around like this.” a smirk crosses his lips and he picks you up unexpectedly. “i think i know what we could do,” he says as he runs off in the direction of his bedroom, leaving you giggling over his shoulder.
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author's note 3: if you wanna see style posts and updates of madi, please give my friend pinkfilipowicz a follow! she wants to hit 100 followers by the end of the year and she's at around 30 rn i think. and follow her on tiktok too if you like madi edits!! <3
btw if that's not convincing enough, she found a shirt from a screenshot of madi's tiktok where you can't see it that well AND from a pic where you can barely see the shirt!! still shocked she found that and fast too so yk she's good at this. she's so seriously underrated i love her sm
#matt x reader#matt sturniolo fic#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo angst#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo#matt stuniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo smut#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo x reader#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets
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Numbers Game ~ Chapter 35
Lady Luck by My Side
Pairings: Cross Guild Polycule x Shanks x Fem!Reader x ???
Numbers Game Masterlist
Word Count: 10.2k+
Ao3 Link
Ongoing Series Playlist: Youtube Music Link | Youtube Link
Chapter Tunes: Luck Be a Lady (Dezio Rezio) ~ The Atomic Beat Ranchers | Feel So Numb ~ Rob Zombie
Summary: Buggy deals with your heavy words, while Crocodile and Mihawk fight for you in their own, desperate ways. You are making the best of your situation, and if you could avoid your uncle's wicked words, you might even end up enjoying yourself. If you're lucky, of course.
Ch. 34 Recap: I've decided to put the recap directly below the cut in case anyone sees this post before getting to the last chapter. It's a bit more detailed than usual, and I vehemently detest spoilers. I refuse to watch trailers for movies I plan to watch 😂 I don't even like writing summaries, so I keep them vague. Hope you don't mind!
Author's Note: I have missed y'all so very much, I can't begin to describe 😭💜 I won't get into my disappearing act here, but I'll share some details below the chapter if you're interested, and I'll probably make a life update post about it later. Now that I finally have the time, energy, and health, to write again, I just want to write Numbers Game!
Dark Content Warning: Dark Content is bracketed with ~~~⚫️⚫️⚫️~~~ and summaries are bracketed with ~⚫️~SUMMARY~⚫️~ directly below the scenes, so that you won’t miss the story if you need to not be in the BIG FEELS of the scenes. Please take care of yourself, you are not alone! 💜
~ 1st ⚫ ~ PLEASE DO NOT READ this section if severe mental illness, episodes, treatment, or neglect could be triggering for you.
~ 2nd ⚫ ~ PLEASE DO NOT READ this section if mental illness treatment, doctors, or panic attacks, might be triggering for you.
Also, I hope everyone remembers the tag/warning: Cross Guild Boys are VILLAINS. It’s been there since day one, so 🤷♀️
Alternate POV Symbols:
🌲 ~ Reader | 🐊 ~ Crocodile | 🗡 ~ Mihawk | 🤡 ~ Buggy | 🔴 ~ Shanks | ⏰ ~ Flashbacks for listed POV | ⚫ ~ Scenes depicting Dark Content as listed in Author's Notes
!!! SPOILER WARNING !!! Fic currently contains spoilers for up to chapter 1064 or episode 1093. As we get further into Egghead Arc where our lovely boys are showing up more, there will be more spoilers as time goes on. Sorry y'all, I'm trying to keep most spoilers small details, but Cross Guild is endgame, lol.
Rating/Warnings: Author May Choose to Exclude some Warnings to Avoid Spoilers for Certain Chapters, Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ ONLY, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, Use of Y/N, Dark Content, Blood & Violence, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Dissociation, Mental Illness, Grief, Hospitals, Doctors, Mental Health Treatment, Toxic Family, Childhood Trauma, Swearing, Alcohol, Cigars, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Guilt, Drama, Jealousy, Manipulation, Pet Names, Power Imbalance, Cross Guild boys are VILLAINS, Possessive Behavior, Teasing, Threats, Relationship Drama, Inappropriate Use of Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit Powers, Shameless Shameless Smut, Uncle Cedrick Has Become His Own Warning, Death of an Unnamed Character, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 |
Chapter 34 Recap: You struggled with your varied feelings for the hunters that fought for the chance to be your owner, surprised that you didn't hate them all. You discovered that Fukaboshi was a truly good man who knew that you'd be sending him away soon, and that Katakuri was far sweeter than he looked.
Mihawk discovered that his little rabbit's plight was being broadcast beyond the Oak Roots Estate, and his rage made him dirty his blade.
Former member's of Baroque Works, Zala and Marianne, reported back from Dr. Vorsan's asylum. Buggy fought against it at first, but Crocodile begged to watch the encrypted recordings they had found so that he could help his sweet girl. He saw her at fifteen years old, being restrained and drugged in that asylum after her father passed, and he demanded to see the next recording.
You lied to your sister about your feelings toward the Cross Guild, telling her that they were monsters, and you never wanted to see them again. You wanted to make her happy, so you'd keep up your smile, just like you had for your dad when you were little. You would pretend for her.
Chapter 35 ~ Lady Luck by My Side
~~~🐊🐊🐊~~~
Had it been hours? Years since he’d started watching?
There was nothing but the tears in her eyes, nothing but the futile sobs he could do nothing to stop.
‘Let me see my sister!’
‘Sweetie, you’re not ready yet. You need to get well first.’
~~~⚫⚫⚫~~~
‘I’m not sick, mom,’ his sweet girl begged, strapped to a table while her mother stood too far back to comfort her. ‘Just let me see Kitty, please. I need to see her. ‘
‘You need to focus on getting better,’ Delaine’s voice shifted, expertly condescending with a loving tone.
Crocodile did not fucking like this woman.
‘Sweetie, do you remember what happened? Do you remember what you did,’ Delaine prodded. Y/N’s face crumpled, sobbing while her worthless mother stood in silence.
‘It was an accident,” the fifteen-year-old girl pleaded while she struggled against her restraints.
‘I found you with that snail, Y/N, and I’m certain you would have killed the poor thing if I hadn’t found you when I did,’ Delaine scolded. Crocodile was going to gut this bitch for making her daughter cry like this. ‘I’m just grateful that it was me, I can’t imagine how your... It’s not your fault, of course. Arbo was always selfish, and now he’s made you sick. I’m sorry, honey, but it’s just not safe for Kathryn to be around you until you get well.’
‘Please, mom. Please listen to me,’ she whimpered, her body going weak, trembling.
‘Just listen to the doctor, alright? I know you don’t want to hurt anyone, but you’re sick, honey. You need to— ‘
‘I need you to fucking LISTEN!’
Delaine froze for a moment before turning away, heading toward the door. She walked closer to the cam-snail on her way out, and her eyes looked way too fucking dry.
Crocodile’s rage-filled thoughts were swept away by that young girl’s screams.
‘Mom, please, don’t leave me! Don’t let them— ‘
~~~⚫️⚫️⚫️~~~
~~~
~⚫️~SUMMARY~⚫️~
The scene above is from Crocodile’s POV while he watched a recording of the reader in the asylum when she was fifteen.
Her mother, Delaine, was present, and the reader stated that she wasn’t sick, and begged to see her little sister.
Delaine replied that it wasn’t safe for Kathryn to see her until she was well again and asked if the reader recalled what she did to the snail. The reader said that it was an accident, and asked Delaine to listen.
Delaine stated that she thought the reader would have killed the snail if Delaine hadn’t found her in time, and blamed Arbo’s selfishness for making the reader sick. She denied the reader's request again.
The reader yelled for her mother to listen, however, Delaine walked out, and Crocodile felt rage for how dry her eyes were. The reader screamed for her mother not to leave her, not to let them– (the last line cut off).
~⚫️~SUMMARY~⚫️~
~~~
Y/N’s cries were cut short, the image of her teary face going blurry before the transmission cut out completely.
Crocodile had already destroyed all the furniture, so he crawled through the debris toward the smaller snail, answering the call before he had time to make it.
“Sir— “
“Finish the recording,” he threatened. “It wasn’t done, send it again.”
“The white snail passed out, sir,” Zala reported, her voice shaking almost as much as his fist. “I think that was too much for it all at once. It needs time to recover before we can send any more encrypted data.”
Crocodile could hear his teeth grinding together, but he kept still enough to speak a few words.
“Make sure it’s ready tomorrow.”
~~~🐊🐊🐊~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🤡🤡🤡~~~
Buggy felt somehow empty, and too full at the same time. His mind was too full of those vicious words his star had hissed, too full of fear and guilt over what to do about them.
“Secrets keep fucking shit up,” the clown murmured, pacing again.
It was just a lie. Star was lying to her sister.
It had been some damn good acting though, and Buggy hated the doubts it stirred in him. He couldn’t stuff them down.
I know she loves me, but could she really hate them? I could have sworn she…
Why ya gotta be such a good actor, baby?
Or maybe I’m just the selfish piece of shit that didn’t listen. I was too fucking distracted by that shithead. I wasn’t paying attention to you, Star, I just—
He gave a light yelp when the snail interrupted the constant beat of her heart, grateful to be distracted now while he floated toward Crocodile’s desk.
“Howdy,” Buggy coughed, perking up at the low chuckle that greeted him.
“Hello, little clown.”
“What’s up, crybaby?”
Mihawk’s voice sent chills across his skin, but all the clown could think about were those hateful words.
Murderers.
Monsters.
“Is that Crocodile,” the swordsman asked after a particularly loud crash echoed down the hall. “I have some news to report.”
“He’s watching…”
“Is he watching the feed?”
Now Mihawk’s voice chilled his blood.
“What feed?”
“I’m handling it,” his new lover tried and failed to soothe him. “Why don’t you two call me in the morning? I need to find a new room for the night anyway.”
“Why do you need— “
“How is she?”
Mihawk’s voice cracked just a bit, his desperation pushing through the relaxed front he’d clearly been holding up.
“Same. Finally sleeping,” Buggy rasped, clenching his eyes shut at the spike of a headache. “I’m gonna read my notes again, I think she said something… Crocodile might have something too, so we’ll call you tomorrow.”
…
“Mihawk?”
“You’ll tell me if she’s being hurt?”
“Yeah, I said I would.”
“And you’ll call me if she says she doesn’t want to be there? I don’t care if she whispers it in her sleep, Buggy, I’ll get her out. If she gives even the slightest opening, you’ll call me?”
…
“Bug— “
“Of course I will,” Buggy promised. It wasn’t a lie.
“Thank you. Get some rest, little clown.”
“You too, crybaby.”
Buggy stared blankly at the snail after the call until the near constant crashing and yelling down the corridor got louder. And closer.
His feet followed as fast as they could, but the rest of him charged into the banquet hall in time to see the terrifying sight of Sir Crocodile’s rage. The door to the conference room had been ripped off its hinges, and Buggy was caught in the other doorway, the urge to run held back only by the horror of what that frightening man might have seen.
Star…
Crocodile was alternating between smashing through tables and chairs with his hook, and draining them with his hand, leaving waves of splinters and sand to spill across the gleaming floor.
Until he made it to the head table.
“Hey boss, you really gonna wreck the best table in this shithole?”
Buggy had floated his upper body slightly above the other man’s head. He wasn’t stupid enough to put himself in between Crocodile and his fury, no matter how many memories that table held.
The clown almost fell from the air when those frantic, silver eyes met his.
“Is she still crying?”
“N-no… She’s sleeping.”
Crocodile fell to his knees, the tears on his scarred face slow and unsteady, as though they’d never traveled there before. Buggy brought himself together and did what he knew had to be a stupid thing.
He hugged the raging man, embracing this villain that had destroyed so much.
“I can’t… can’t leave her there, Buggy,” Crocodile panted into the crook of his neck. He nearly brought the clown to the floor with the amount of weight he rested on him.
“Don’t worry,” Buggy strained through his hold, “we’ve got her.”
The larger man crushed him against his chest, sucking down his tears before he started to offer comfort instead of taking it. Buggy made a show of accepting that comfort, knowing that he’d never be a better actor than his shining star.
Can’t tell ‘em. Can’t risk it.
The image of Crocodile and Mihawk collapsing in defeat at the party after Y/N had thrown her cruel words burned through his mind.
I know you’re lying, baby. You’re just a good actor.
Don’t wanna distract these idiots. They don’t know you like I do.
He tried to let go of his guilt, but those words played on a loop.
‘I don’t ever want to see those murderers— those monsters again.’
It wasn’t true.
It was a lie.
Buggy knew it was a lie.
It was a lie. Right, baby?
~~~🤡🤡🤡~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~
The other men pushed and shoved each other when the scavenger hunt began, but Shanks had to hold himself back from the race. This one wouldn’t win him another date, and close contact with the other suitors had been pushing his self-control to its limit.
He’d always been able to let insults slide when it came to himself, when it was only words, but Shanks couldn’t recall this suffocating feeling.
This entire hunt was an insult, a torture made just for Y/N, and everyone here was having a lovely time using her.
Shanks could feel himself about to snap, and only his surety that it wouldn’t help her stayed his hand.
She couldn’t show her own rage, and it would be stupid and selfish to show his.
So, the red haired pirate sat this hunt out, staring at the old man that had weaseled his way beside her.
~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
What was the theme today? Creating love? Finding my heart? Uncle really should have hired a showrunner for this shit.
By gods, you were bored. And having “Gibby” at your side was only making your condition worse.
“These young bucks sure do like to show off,” he teased, leaning his bony shoulder against yours, the scent of whiskey nearly knocking you out. “But I know what a sharp girl like you craves.”
“And what’s that, Gibby,” you flirted.
It would be so easy to kill him, wouldn’t it? Just a good punch to the throat would probably end this old man. But that would be it. So many eyes… He’s not worth it.
“A challenge of course,” he announced as though revealing a delightful trick. “You want to use your talents. All these little boys want is a little wife.”
“Oh,” you arched a brow, “and what do you want?”
The creep pinched your cheek. Even with your renewed determination, pretending was fucking rough.
“I want Lady Luck by my side, of course.”
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🗡️🗡️🗡️~~~
How many… Do lives or liters of blood count for more? Those lives are nothing but—
“Mihawk?”
“I’m here.”
Crocodile’s voice was off. If not for his trained sense of hearing, Mihawk would have believed that voice belonged to someone else.
But it was him. His daddy. His brutal business partner that was too sweet on their former victims.
“You go first, crybaby,” Buggy threatened, bringing a tiny smile to the swordsman’s lips.
“Sylvad’s little game has an illegal broadcast,” Mihawk shared lightly, pretending it was fine. “Underground gambling rings are holding showings every night for an impressive fee. The show appears to be isolated to the surrounding island kingdoms, but that’s probably wishful thinking.”
The silence was torturous for them all, holding nothing but impotent rage.
Mihawk stretched his neck, removing his hat to keep it from scraping against the dusty walls. He’d found a lovely, little shed to lie in wait in until his prey were all lined up.
“I’ll be attending a showing tonight, so I should be able to watch the hunt. I’ll study the layout, and hopefully I’ll see something that you aren’t able to hear.”
“So, we’re all spying on her now,” Buggy sighed. The sound was so animated; Mihawk could see those shoulders slumping in his mind.
He didn’t know when he’d gotten so used to these men in his life.
“Wait,” he interrupted his own thoughts. “Crocodile, if you weren’t watching the feed last night, what were you watching?”
“He can’t tell us,” Buggy said, his voice gentle, but pained. “Recordings of Y/N at the asylum. Croc’s poky, lady agent, and the scary, little girl nicked them for us. “
Mihawk’s blood froze in his veins as the memory of her flashed in his mind. His rabbit had looked so beautiful that last day. Beautiful, but wrong.
“Crocodile?”
…
“Can you tell us anything yet, boss? Daddy?”
“Just a kill list,” Crocodile rasped, and Mihawk realized what that tone in his voice was.
Despair.
“I haven’t finished watching yet. Just waiting on the snail. She wouldn't want me to hurt the snail…”
“Okie dokie,” Buggy loudly redirected, the sound of awkward pats coming through. “Star said something to her sister when she was crying last night. I think Asshole Charmer was right, she’s trying to protect Kat from something.”
“What did— “
“She said, ‘I left you,” Buggy rushed before either man finished asking, the strain in his voice ramping up. “Then she lied again. Told Kat she wanted to be there.”
“They wouldn’t let her see her sister,” Crocodile breathed, a distance in his words that had nothing to do with the ocean between them.
“So, we have to find out what Kathryn Sylvad needs protection from,” the swordsman hummed. “When our little rabbit showed us her fangs, she mentioned the Celestial— “
“Kat said Uncle LimpDick can’t sell her anymore though. She’s too old for those creeps.”
“But Y/N didn’t know that until she got to the estate. If that’s why she left, then we can—”
Hope had crept into Crocodile’s voice, and it was almost more painful to hear, especially when it was killed so quickly.
“She could have gotten out with the merman yesterday,” Buggy reminded him, his usual frustration seeming muted. Anger was still present, but it was wrapped up in softer, sadder things while he caught Mihawk up on the prince’s offer. “Star’s acting like a fucking martyr.”
“It’s gotta be the doctor. Sylvad said something about the fucking doctor before she left us,” Crocodile trailed off, leaving them all to sink into the memory of that night. “That’s who she fears.”
“Then that’s who dies first.”
That dusty, little shed became a cage, the monster within him nearly tearing through it at the thought of blood.
“Wait,” his clown commanded.
He obeyed.
“You can’t just run in there and kill everyone on your own now. You have to protect both of them. We need a plan.”
This silence was full of caution, but it held the taste of possibilities.
The swordsman wanted to sever his own tongue for dashing that new hope so soon.
“We can’t force them. If her sister wants to keep that stifled life, then Y/N won’t forgive us for ripping her from it.”
Mihawk sighed, remembering the rage on his darling’s face so clearly. It might be the only face of hers that he’d be worthy of seeing again.
“So, I’m still our last resort. I’ll take her hate for you, Buggy.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Buggy groaned. “We know more than we did before, so we just need to keep looking. We’re gonna get her back. You got that, shitheads?”
How strange to recognize the sound of a hug. Buggy’s little hum of surprise, followed by a soft sigh that had to be from Crocodile’s lips, hit Mihawk with a wave of heat. The sensation built up in his throat until he shook it off.
Y/N wouldn't be the only thing he’d lose if he stole her away. The World’s Greatest Swordsman would lose this strange, little home he’d found with this strange, little guild.
“You got it, boss,” Mihawk teased.
“Shut up.”
“Whatever you say, Mr. President,” Crocodile joined in.
The swordsman smiled in that dusty shed, pretending for a moment that this strange, little home he’d found would still be his.
~~~🗡️🗡️🗡️~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
Giberson never shut the fuck up, so you hadn’t caught most of the scavenger hunt, but soon enough, Uncle Cedrick was announcing the winner.
“There are no rules against hunters helping each other win,” he teased while the Vinsmoke brothers walked toward you. Ichiji was carrying a large wooden heart, a few missing pieces of the puzzle held in the losers’ hands, but he held the most.
Apparently, the younger brothers had given their pieces to the oldest prince, flanking him as they all knelt before you.
“I’m looking forward to showering you with many more gifts,” he smirked, smoothing his fingers over yours when he placed that wooden heart in your lap. “Gifts worthy of a princess.”
Cheesy. Cocky. His brothers’ lecherous stares weren’t helping.
But I might as well enjoy it, you thought, gifting him with a coy smile.
~~~
This opulent room had always been too ridiculously large to be the family game room, especially since you’d only play with your dad, or your sister, never both. Dad always had some work to take care of when Kat asked to play, and Mom never liked board games.
At least someone’s still playing games in here.
“Come here, sugar,” Giberson pulled you along, looking healthier than you’d seen him so far. “You ever played Blackjack?”
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
~~~~~~
~~~⏰🐊🐊🐊⏰~~~
“Hit me.”
“Is that an order, sir?”
Crocodile chuckled, feeling loose for a rare moment while he smirked at the woman across the table. Rain Dinners was as vibrant as ever, a stolen oasis that he planned to grow. The casino pulsed with greed, but a quiet air seemed to fall over the two of them.
“No orders at the table, sweetheart. You know that.”
Fuck.
This woman’s silence always held an itching weight, that little smile making him narrow his eyes. He was the one that had slipped up. No time for that.
Not until his work was done.
“Hm, it looks like a bust for both of us, sir. I hope your orders don’t land us in a similar position,” she taunted in that airy voice of hers, as though her thoughts were merely floating through space, drifting by with no fault of her own. Yet her eyes sparkled.
Crocodile ignored how much he liked it when they did that.
“Have a little faith, Miss All Sunday,” he grinned, the noise of the casino drowned out by her soft chuckle, her haunted eyes filling with a hard edge, a challenge. “Don’t you trust me? We’re gonna build a better world together.”
Her soft chuckle turned to outright laughter, the pretty sound bringing more eyes to their elevated table. That beautiful face tilted back, and the brim of her white hat shifted enough to let the glittering lights touch her skin.
He paused to watch her, knowing that he was distracted. Knowing that she was an agent, that he couldn’t risk losing his balance until he’d met his goal.
This girl is nothing but an asset. That’s all anyone is until I’m done.
“Come, Crocodile, you and I both know that trust can be a fatal mistake. I know you didn’t bring me here for false promises, and I would leave if I thought you’d become such a sentimental fool.”
Soft hands sprouted from the table before him, lighting his cigar, and holding it to his lips while he gave a few gentle puffs. Those taunting eyes never strayed from his.
“You know me too well,” he laughed, taking a larger sip of scotch than he’d meant to. This asset of his had many uses, and interesting company was becoming too much of a favorite. “What kind of world do you wanna build when we get there?”
The way she stared at him… It was as though she was right there, seeing deep into the core of him, yet somehow distant. No matter how much time she spent by his side, they were always light years apart.
“Are you feeling sentimental, boss?”
“Not at all,” Crocodile snorted before downing the rest of his drink. He motioned for another round but couldn’t shake off the sticky feeling of her knowing gaze.
She’s right. What the fuck am I doing? Can’t think like this. Not yet.
Nico Robin smirked while her many hands gathered the cards, dealing a fresh game. Crocodile found himself feeling proud of her practiced distance, but had to fight harder than he should have to keep from tugging at it.
Trust is worthless in a world like this.
“Well, boss?”
“Hit me.”
So, I’ll make a better world.
~~~⏰🐊🐊🐊⏰~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
Everything was shining. Unlike most casinos, the shine in your family’s estate wasn’t just for show.
It was another world. The glamor, the music, and the liquor seemed to hypnotize the crowd. Time was a commodity here, seconds falling away like the chips on the table.
You might have been drawn in if you hadn’t been squeezed into this slinky, sequined dress. Viridian green sparkled under the lights, and it wasn’t as uncomfortable as you’d thought it would be. Still fucking distracting though.
I wonder what his casino was like. Would he have liked this dress? He did prefer scales over—
Stop.
You almost asked why Giberson had foregone his private date for this public display but decided not to risk giving him the opening to take you somewhere else. He dragged a velvet covered stool close beside him before wrapping his frail arm around your shoulders, pulling you as close to his side as possible.
Your smile stayed pretty under the golden lights, even as the sounds of the small casino bombarded you. All the hunters, and more guests than you’d seen here before, watched your every move when they weren’t losing berry.
“What’d ya say, darlin,” he winked, nodding toward the cards on the table. “Should I risk it?”
At least there’s something for me to focus on.
“Hit me,” he declared when you nodded, whistling and jostling you when he hit twenty one. “I knew I had a good feeling about you.”
“Is this why you’re here, Gibby? I’m sure you realize that my husband won’t need to gamble to be swimming in berry.”
Those words should not have left your lips. You didn’t need the nearest cam-snail’s drooping eyes to tell you that, but you couldn’t take it back. Playing up the flirtation was all you could think of to salvage it.
The old man raised a brow at you, chuckling at your fluttering lashes.
“You are a sweet, devilish thing, aren’t you, dear?”
Your denial died on your tongue when your eyes got caught across the room, your red-haired prey staring hard at the hand Giberson had brought to your chin.
This old man deserved your gratitude for tilting your face away from those soft, brown eyes.
“I am many things, Gibby,” you purred. “And I am sure that you should stand.”
“I’ve gotta listen to my Lady Luck,” he laughed, wiggling your shoulders to show you off to the leeches at the table.
“Isn’t that cheating,” one of them mumbled, earning a sickly, sweet smile from your lips.
“All is fair in love and war,” you teased, tapping the felt-covered table with one of Giberson’s many chips. “Besides, card counters have to watch a game for longer than I’ve been at the table. It was just a lucky guess.”
Oh, how you ached to smash that entitled asshole’s face onto the shining table.
“You’re one to talk, Linus,” Giberson leaned around you to smirk at the man. The scent of liquor on his breath hit you like a train. “I believe you’re on mistress number three, aren’t you? Or what should we call this newest one, a boy toy? I suppose if Annie knows, then it’s not cheating, but either way, I’m sure she knows now.”
Linus’ face went from annoyance to horror impressively fast when he glanced at the very not-droopy snail on the table, and you bit your lip to keep from laughing.
The man snarled, barely shifting toward you before Uncle’s security guards snatched him away.
“Poor Linus,” you sighed while you shook your head. The satisfaction that warmed your skin only proved your self-hating thoughts, but it was more entertaining than being empty.
Everyone here is a leech. Gorging on my blood and humiliation, eating me alive so they can feel more alive for a while. Fuck them all.
“Don’t worry about him,” your date pulled you back toward the game, “Annie’s been sleeping with his mother since their wedding night, so I’m sure she won’t be too broken up over it.”
You laughed enough that when he bought a bottle and poured you both a shot, you drank the burning whiskey.
After he drank his first, of course.
Then you won him lots of berry and giggled while he whispered secrets about all those shining guests in your ear.
Maybe this old man isn’t so boring after all.
Laughing, and winning, and numbing it all down felt so good. If only you could rid yourself of those stupid, brown eyes that stuck to you more than the old man’s weak hand on your sequined thigh.
“Do you know anything about— “
“Sorry, sweetheart,” Giberson hummed, filling your glass again. He nodded toward the red-haired pirate in the corner before shaking his head. “Afraid I can’t talk about the competition. I’d like to survive long enough to see the end of this delightful game.”
~~~
The corridors were endless. You’d traveled them so many times as a kid, but never quite like this.
Never drunk, in stupid, pointy heels that got caught in the plush carpet, while annoying servants tried to grab your elbows every time you swayed.
It was fine.
It was stupid.
But you weren’t even mad at yourself for being so reckless. Apathy could save or ruin you in a place like this.
All you wanted was to feel nothing. There were many kinds of numb to find, but this particular buzz was wearing off too fast.
You had kept up your smile, and the bells had rung before you lost your mind to liquor. Yet now that the wall of eyes wasn’t on you, that liquor felt thick in your veins, and you needed to scream.
“Don’t fucking touch me!”
“I’m sorry, Miss Sylvad, but— “
“I’ll take it from here. We wouldn’t want any more accidents now, would we, niece?”
You blinked, and the staff had already scurried away, leaving you alone with him.
“My little smarty,” Uncle Cedrick teased, digging his fingers into your arm while he guided you toward your suite. “Finally contributing to the family, after all these years. You almost had me believing that you’d like to marry that old bastard.”
“It’s too early to tell.”
Damn it…
A different kind of numb pulled you down while your gaze trailed down his face.
His jaw is moving a lot. It’s okay. No, not the lips. Jaw. Eyes are too much. Can’t look up. Just down. Can’t look away.
Fuck, I’m dizzy.
“He was never in the running anyway. The nuisance learned about the hunt and asked to join, and I couldn’t risk insulting the man.”
All the words were hitting your wobbly brain, a headache building behind your brow until you gasped at his sudden touch. Your uncle gripped your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze in the darkened hallway.
“You’re going to send the old man away tomorrow, and the fishman the day after that. You may be a selfish brat, but you’re still a Sylvad. It wouldn’t do to let you get stuffed full of expired seed, or guppies, now, would it?”
His eyes flared with satisfaction when you couldn’t hide the horror and disgust that twisted your features. You were trapped, gulping down your bile while he leaned over you, gripping tighter.
“Keep up the good work, niece,” Uncle hummed while he tilted you toward your door. “Now go wash up. Whiskey isn’t a flattering scent on a blushing bride.”
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🐊🐊🐊~~~
There was no point in fixing the conference room. Any replacement furniture would have been shattered the second he saw those tear-filled eyes on the screen.
A makeshift door had been propped up for privacy, although there was no one but Buggy within range of Crocodile’s rage.
That pathetic, useless rage that left the scarred man sitting on the floor in a pile of splinters and sand again, fighting not to drink. Not yet, at least.
“Good evening, sir.”
“Is it ready,” Crocodile rasped, not ready for the answer.
“I believe so, sir,” Zala reported, her lovely voice too somber to be soothing. “The next cam-snail’s date is a bit smudged, so I’m not certain the timing is right. We’re trying to send them in order— “
“Just send it.”
…
“Agent?”
“Of course, sir,” the deadly woman breathed, strangely soft through the line. “Do you have orders for us when we arrive? We still have over a week, but it could be two days less if we— “
“Await your orders,” Crocodile growled, more at his own powerlessness than her questioning.
“Of course,” Zala conceded, sharing her next words in a rush before ending the call. “We’ll get her back, sir. I won’t fail again.”
~~~
For a cruel moment, Crocodile’s breath caught in hope. His sweet girl looked better.
He should have known better.
‘How are you feeling today, Y/N?’
~~~⚫⚫⚫~~~
‘I’m feeling well, thank you, doctor,’ she hummed softly, keeping her eyes low, although the doctor was still offscreen. A nurse guided her to sit, no restraints holding her to the table this time.
‘Are you ready to begin?’
‘Yes, doctor.’
His girl was empty. Poised and polite with nothing inside.
They made a doll out of her.
‘Just breathe, Y/N,’ Dr. Vorsan instructed, his slippery voice making Crocodile’s fingers twitch. ‘The snail won’t hurt you, and you aren’t going to hurt it.’
‘Of course, I won’t–’
‘Soft hands, Y/N,’ he warned while she unclenched her jaw and fists.
A transponder snail was placed on the table before her, and her eyes went slow and droopy while she stared at it.
‘We discussed this, Y/N.’ The doctor clicked his tongue while the nurse reached for the snail. Y/N shook herself but stopped before her hand got too close to the creature.
Her eyes were wide now, her panicked breaths loud enough for him to hear all these years later.
‘I’m sorry, please,’ Y/N strained, going empty again while she pleaded. ‘I’m okay. I want to call my sister.’
‘Are you sure you’re ready,’ Vorsan needled. That voice was so perfectly kind, yet violent. It was a syringe that promised healing, but forced too much, poisoning with what seemed like a cure. ‘Take your time, Y/N. If you push yourself too far, you might have another episode, and I know you don’t want to put your family through that. You don’t want to hurt–’
‘I want to be well, doctor.’
Wrong. So, fucking wrong.
‘Please, let me try again,’ Y/N begged, her sweet voice placating the monster out of view. ‘I’ll breathe and go slow. I want to get better.’
The nurse brought the snail back, and Crocodile couldn’t tell how much time passed while she stared at it. Her eyes were present, yet he could see the strain, her almost-smile shaking a bit.
“What the fuck?”
The fucking snail had started ringing, and Y/N’s scream made him choke. She struggled to swallow it down, rocking in her seat until the nurse reached out to take it. She took in a breath when she reached out instead to answer, that sickening smile on her face.
‘Hey, smarty.’
Crocodile’s hook dug deep lines along the floor.
‘I heard you were practicing with the snail today, so I thought I’d help out. We all want you back home, safe and sound. Although, I suppose it’s not your safety we should be worrying about.’
If not for the slow shine of unspilled tears that grew in her eyes, Crocodile would have thought the recording had paused. She was frozen, until she flinched at his next words.
‘I should probably check on little Kathryn. I told them not to sail this close to Aqua Laguna, but you know how stubborn–’
‘You’re lying,’ she screamed, spittle flying toward the snail before nurses appeared to restrain her. ‘Let me talk to my sister!’
‘Oh dear, you don’t sound very well, niece. I hope–’
‘Fuck you! Where’s Kat? Let me see my– Get your fucking hands off of me! I’m gonna kill…’
Cedrick Sylvad’s laughter creeped through the air, the transponder snail carrying that vile sound through space and time.
Y/N had gone still, letting the nurses entangle their arms with hers, trapping her between them while they called nonsensical orders to each other in bland voices.
She didn’t cry.
Didn’t apologize.
Didn’t fight.
She looked like she’d been defeated, and Sylvad’s gloating laughter proved the point.
‘I hope you get well soon, niece,” her uncle taunted. ‘I’ll tell your sister you’re not ready yet, once she gets back. Hopefully she makes it before the storm hits.’
Crocodile’s sweet girl slumped, her body going limp while so many others held her up. Cedrick Sylvad’s laughter ripped through the air until she was carted away, and the wall went dark.
~~~⚫⚫⚫~~~
~~~
~⚫~SUMMARY~⚫~
The scene above was from Crocodile’s POV as he watched another recording of Y/N at the asylum. During this recording, Crocodile noticed that the reader appeared to be “better.” However, the prodding voice of Dr. Vorsan, and the reveal of a transponder snail showed that the reader was struggling to maintain her “doll-like” emptiness. The reader expressed a desire to speak with her sister, and was cooperating with the doctor, although he scolded her and reminded her of the potential violence she may cause. The reader remained calm and requested to try speaking with the snail again. The snail rang unexpectedly, and her uncle began to speak through it, causing the reader to become afraid, then react violently when Cedrick stated that her sister was currently sailing close to the time of the Aqua Laguna storm. The reader began to yell and threaten violence, until she looked defeated while her uncle laughed. The reader went limp while nurses restrained her and carried her away before the recording ended.
~⚫~SUMMARY~⚫~
~~~🐊🐊🐊~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
“Leave her alone, Uncle,” Kat seethed, charging into the hall to pull you from his grasp.
“I’m just making sure she gets home safe,” he teased, clicking his tongue before releasing you. “Looks like big sis needs your help tonight. Aren’t you relieved that you won’t have to be her babysitter for much longer?”
“Fuck you— “
“It’s alright, Kitty,” you smiled, fighting your shaking muscles, and the nausea that flooded your body. “You got any snacks in your suite?”
“Ta-ta,” Uncle Cedrick smirked, thankfully walking away.
Leaving you with her.
Fuck. I’m making her take care of me again. Selfish. Piece of shit. Stop.
“What kind of snacks do you want,” Kat frowned. Her eyes were sharp against your swaying form, but you held up your smile for her.
“Salty. Crunchy.”
“Alright, drunky,” she rolled her eyes, “will you drink some fucking water first?”
~~~
Gods, it’s bright. Smile. Don’t forget to smile.
“Are you feeling well, niece?”
Uncle Cedrick beamed down at you, guiding you to the fallen tree in the courtyard, where the applause that greeted you made you want to chop your fucking ears off. The ungodly amount of coffee you’d inhaled during the breakfast with Giberson had been for naught, and you couldn’t recall any of the long winded stories he’d trampled you with.
There’d be no more of his stories for you after this.
“Good afternoon, fine friends and hunters,” he addressed the crowd, and the suitors lined up along the carved bench. His practiced movements spread large across the side of the manor for all to see. You caught him glancing at his image on the projector screen enough times that you almost laughed.
It probably would have hurt to laugh right now.
“Before today’s hunt begins, I’m afraid that one of our contestants has missed the mark.”
Uncle pulled an arrow from the quiver at his back. He pressed the point of it to your chest, making the leeches gasp with mock fear or delight before he broke it in half.
“Go on, dear niece,” he ordered, pressing the splintered wood into your hand. “Who failed to pierce your heart?”
Don’t let it in. Nothing matters. Just her.
Fading into yourself, you put on a show, avoiding the sight of your simpering smile on the wall. Tittering noises filled the air while the wooden platform moved you from suitor to suitor, and you could hear the vultures calling out their last-minute bets.
You put on a good show, but eyes were too much. An inch below their left eye. That’s where you’d look while you paused.
No favorites. No least favorites.
The moving platform wasn’t helping your nausea, or it might have been the scent of the Emperor whose crooked smile was almost as abhorrent to look at as his soft eyes.
The painfully slow display finally came to a halt, the stench of whiskey still too fresh in your mind.
The old man hadn’t been that bad though.
“I’m sorry, Gibby. Your arrow didn’t pierce my heart.”
He took the broken arrow, before kissing your forehead, his mustache scratching along your skin.
“Not to worry, my dear,” Giberson soothed, humming at the noises of the winners and losers in the crowd. From the sound of it, he’d been an underdog in the race anyway. “I feel lucky just to be here at all. Thank you for the lovely company.”
You needed to sit down.
You had to keep smiling.
“Of course, Gibby,” your uncle shmoozed, gripping Giberson by the shoulder. He appeared to be speaking to the failed hunter, but his voice was too clear, his words too pointed.
Another part of the show.
“You may not be in the running to be our family, but you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t a friend of the Sylvad’s,” Uncle Cedrick glowed as the leeches practically moaned at the implication. Everyone wanted to be in his world. “You are more than welcome to stay for the festivities as a guest, so long as you don’t act like a sore loser and ruin the fun, of course.”
The joviality in the air was too full of greed. Your future was never going to be yours, but you hadn't expected him to let so many others join in his game.
This game that never fucking stopped.
“Our lovely doe has requested a show of love for today’s hunt,” he took your hand and spun you for the crowd, grabbing you by the waist to keep you from tripping over yourself. “Run along, hunters. In the woods you’ll find materials of all sorts, but you’re welcome to use your own. Create something to show how you’ll care for your dear wife once you catch her. Care to give them any tips, Y/N?”
Fuck you.
“The man I love will make me smile.”
Uncle Cedrick caught his frown before it fully formed, but your tiny rebellion went cold when his eyes flicked to the locket you were fidgeting with.
“You heard the doe, hunters,” he ordered, studying your shaky hands that you dropped to your sides too fast. “Make your prey smile before you pierce her heart.”
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
~~~~~~
~~~⏰🐊🐊🐊⏰~~~
He shouldn’t have been dropping his guard like this, but something about this room, this ridiculous, green couch, and that sweet girl’s flustered face, had Sir Crocodile fighting off a smile.
“But… I’ve still got work to do, and they— “
“Is my sweet girl worried about other men right now,” he threatened, patting the cushion beside him while he tried to keep his balance.
The clown was off preparing for that gods awful show they’d have to sit through at the party, while the swordsman ran through security. Since Crocodile had already sent agents out to hunt for party favors, he had a free moment, and he chose to spend it taunting their numbers girl.
She looked so pretty with that flash of fear in her eyes.
Especially when she gave in so quickly.
“N-no, I…”
“You’ve been working so hard. I can help you relax. Wanna take a break, sweetheart?”
Y/N bit her lip softly, and Crocodile nearly launched himself at her. Patience wasn’t one of his virtues, but luckily his numbers girl got to her feet.
“Not so fast, darlin,” he teased while she yelped in his grasp, moving through sand to carry her before she could take a step with her bare feet.
“Fuck!”
She looked so cute when he tossed her onto his desk. Y/N was shaking so much that he almost stopped, his fingers clenching against the wooden desk while he took a final puff of his cigar. The feel of smoke on his tongue only made him crave her more.
“Well, sweetheart, you’re not scared to be alone with me, are— “
“I want you, daddy,” Y/N vowed, her voice like some heavenly song, guiding him toward things he didn’t deserve. She sat up, reaching, clinging to him until he chuckled and pushed her soft fingers away. She’d tugged at his silk scarf, and he let her keep the purple fabric when he shoved her back onto the desk.
“Are you gonna be a good girl, and relax for me,” he taunted. Crocodile stamped out his cigar before kneeling beside his desk, fighting his smile again at every desperate noise she made while he set her legs up on his shoulders. She nodded fast while he tore through her cheap panties with his hook, and her scent finally did him in.
This ex-warlord, this wicked pirate, this bad man… was smiling. Smiling from pleasure and peace instead of cruelty and greed.
Sir Crocodile caught his smile as he pressed it against that sweet, swollen flesh, loving the way she tore at his hair. Her fingers went rough, then weak, again and again, as though she couldn’t help her need, but feared his reaction.
“Let go, sweetheart. Let Daddy have it all,” he purred before shoving his tongue so deep. He moaned while he drank at her pleasure, proud of how she took what she needed, pulling his hair at the roots while she fell apart.
“You’re doing so well,” Crocodile praised, fighting everything in him not to claim this sweet girl for himself, his own little dream.
“Please, daddy.”
“My little girl’s so hungry,” he laughed while his fingers teased along all the wetness she spread before him. “You can have everything you want.”
Y/N had pushed onto her elbows to meet his eyes, but fell back, her body arching when he shoved two fingers into her pretty cunt. Her moans were so fucking precious that the ex-warlord’s mind went blank. Nothing but her.
“It’s still work hours, sugar. Try to keep it down.”
Fuck, she was gorgeous when her eyes rolled back, eagerly letting him shove that purple silk into her mouth. She was already crying when he undid his slacks, freeing himself to tease along that needy flesh.
Crocodile missed, pouring lube down the side of the desk before covering his leaking cock. She was too good of a girl for him to rush this, but the feel of his own lubed hand was nearly enough while he watched her begging beneath him.
“That’s it, sweetheart,” he guided her while he held himself back. “You can take it, can’t you?”
He tried to be gentle, but Y/N still cried and screamed, so he fucked himself into her until his scarf fell from her lips.
“It’s too— feels too good— fuck!!”
She spoke the truth until he shoved the silk back into her mouth. It felt too fucking good to fill her up, to feel her body stretching and fighting to hold him. So soft, so wet, so fucking tight around his cock with every thrust.
But she could take him. She could take all of him, and she looked beautifully wrecked while she did, that silk scarf dark with spit now when he tugged it from her lips again.
“Where does my sweet girl— “
“Inside me, daddy,” Y/N cried out before her body milked his again, eyes going white while she came. “Come inside me, please!”
“Fuck, you take me so well, baby girl. Mm— so fucking perfect…”
Crocodile held her down, pressing his palm against her chest. He hadn’t realized that his hook had been tracing along her side until he started filling her, but she looked like she was enjoying it, so he didn’t bother to stop.
She looked like she was enjoying getting fucked by a monster.
She looked so sweet when he met her eyes, pulling out slowly to keep from causing more harm.
“Daddy…”
“Hey, sweet girl,” he hummed while he kissed her neck. Her squirms were enough, and he felt his scarred face smiling against her skin once more. “How— “
“You could have just said you wanted her to yourself for a while,” the swordsman taunted from the doorway that had opened too quietly.
Or maybe Crocodile had let himself get too distracted.
“I thought you didn’t like liars,” Mihawk smirked, moving close enough to snag the spit-soaked scarf from the desk.
“We got some work done,” Crocodile told the truth, although it felt like a lie when he looked down at her. “My sweet girl just needed a break.”
~~~⏰🐊🐊🐊⏰~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🗡️🗡️🗡️~~~
Their faces were easy to match up with the voices he’d planned to end while he listened in that dusty shed. This drab, little hole had been shined up so brightly, almost passing for a real casino, but Mihawk knew it could still use a fresh coat of red paint.
“I suppose that only imbeciles would fail to recognize me when I walk through the door. I had assumed that was what all of you were, given your foolish choice in hobbies.”
“Hawkeye— Mr. Mihawk, sir, please,” the owner of the stale, little hall beckoned him toward the sticky, corner booth, “you’re an honored guest! Please, relax, and let us show you how we party in Majiastuka.”
The slim possibility of those words swaying the ex-warlord burned away when faraway voices filled the air.
‘You’re our little princess now.’
Their deaths would come later. For now, Mihawk kept his gaze away from the projector screen, and the flustered face of his little rabbit.
“What a delightful invitation,” the world’s greatest swordsman sneered, drawing his black blade to hover over the filthy floorboards. “Unfortunately, I have already had my fill of your wretched squeals. Unless you can tell me how to reach Miss Sylvad, your worthless time on this planet is over.”
“Fuck thi— “
A coward off to the side stumbled while he cursed, fleeing toward the door. Mihawk didn’t even need to shift his eyes in that direction; Yoru simply flicked across the floor, the blade smacking into a chair that cracked the man’s neck when it hit.
Every movement, every breath was precise.
A predator, and its prey.
“Hey man, I’m sorry, okay,” the pathetic kingpin begged while the ex-warlord stalked closer. “How can I help? Anything, please!”
“Such a well-mannered beast,” Mihawk growled while he dug his nails into the man’s jaw. “I’m taking your special snail, and I shall take your life if you don’t tell me where the fuck you got it from.”
~~~🗡️🗡️🗡️~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
This might be the worst idea you’d ever had.
“It’s a…”
“Graham cracker house. They’re usually gingerbread, but no one likes to eat that shit.”
Cracker beamed down at you, so proud of the sloppy, edible house that he’d dropped onto your lap.
“That’s you,” he pointed toward the misshapen figure by the front door. “I know that you’re a good girl that wants to help your family. I’ll help you be happy and safe, and you’ll help our family grow.”
Oh.
The misshapen clump finally took shape in your mind; that fucked up cracker was meant to be you.
Barefoot and pregnant.
This is super fucking fun.
“Thank you, Cracker. It’s lovely.”
“It’s trash,” Cracker corrected with that menacing grin, and you almost yelped when he touched your face. You had to meet his eyes, and that basic, human intimacy, coupled with the scent of that sugary house, nearly had you spilling your disgust onto the floor.
Nausea had you in a chokehold, but that didn’t stop your smile.
This ridiculous man leaned down, and the sparks at the ends of his hair were too fucking close to your face when he purred in your ear.
“You’re the only lovely thing I see.”
~~~
How strange that the sight of such a light and precious thing could drag you down so far.
In the place of a pearl, the shell opened to show a long-lasting bubble. The treasure had become a reminder of your selfishness and privilege, yet your heart still ached at the sight.
Precious trees had helped create this little magic. Sabaody should have been treasured, protected.
Instead, it was hell: a humiliating torture for people that didn’t look like you.
“It’s beautiful, Prince Fukaboshi,” you sighed. “Thank you.”
“It is nowhere near as beautiful as your selfless heart.”
Smiling was harder when you had to swallow the burning bile on the back of your tongue.
~~~
“This is very nice,” you lied.
“It’s a poor rendition,” your prey laughed at his ugly drawing of what looked like a pile of fingers until you deciphered the shapes. “Starfish cling to their world, holding tight to their home… I could have stolen it for you, but it’s not right to take a star from where it belongs.”
“So, you left my star all alone,” you managed to pout; you were a selfish, spoiled, rich girl.
Starfish were apparently too much for you to handle.
~~~
“What do ya think, numbers girl?”
That deep voice made you shiver, shaking you out of your fog, but into the chaos of old desire.
You knew you should hate him. You should be disgusted by his mere presence here, by all the details that would make your eyebrows raise if you heard them about a similar relationship.
But you were too far gone to give a fuck.
Mr. Iceburg was smiling at you. He was reaching out to rest his hand on yours before offering a gift he’d made with those same, lovely hands. The rough skin scraping against yours seemed to send you back in time, a teenage craving, still unfulfilled.
“There wasn’t enough time, but I hope you like it,” Iceburg hummed when he placed a small, carved ship in your palm. The rough wood smelled incredible, and it was beautiful, rough as it was.
All the details were vague, but your thumb traced across the redwood he’d carved onto the main sail.
It wasn’t just his looks that had stolen your heart when you were younger. Mr. Iceburg had an air of kindness and wonderment about him that reminded you what those feelings could be like.
Were you too far gone to feel that light?
Was he too much of a leech for it to be real?
Who fucking cares? It’s Mr. Iceburg.
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~
“So, you left my star all alone?”
Y/N’s pouting lips were too much; Shanks was horrified by her ability to lie with every part of her.
“Well, I…”
That fallen star smiled while the bells called him away, and she chose another man, yet again.
~~~
The Great Red-Haired Shanks was fucking useless.
He had fucked up so completely that his every step to fix things put miles and miles between them.
And he couldn’t fucking talk about it.
The estate was literally crawling with snails, so Shanks couldn’t risk speaking openly to his first mate. He couldn’t relax for a second with how hyper aware he’d become of the low hum of their presence.
How the fuck does she live like this?
Throughout the pain and hardships of his own life, this Emperor of the Sea had carried something with him that he was lacking here, and the discomfort of its loss felt like another phantom pain, an unreachable itch.
Shanks was raised as a pirate.
He was raised to be free.
No one was free on this wretched island, except for the tyrant that toyed with them all.
Cedrick Sylvad hadn’t joined the group that flocked to his little casino for a second night. He didn’t need the cash.
The red-haired pirate followed the leeches and did his best to shove his frustrations aside while he fought for her.
“Still here, huh?”
“Why would I leave,” Giberson breathed noxious fumes into his face while he leaned over his cards. “This game’s only just begun.”
~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~
~~~~~
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
Kat’s face pulled you into the moment, her quivering lips failing to hold back her disparaging smile.
You couldn’t blame her.
“That’s a really nice cape,” she snorted, falling into laughter.
“I thought you wanted me to marry a Vinsmoke.” Your words were strained, although annoyance or laughter could have been the cause.
“Totally,” she managed to deadpan. “Definitely the number one choice.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
It was so good to see her cackle, even if you had to wear this poofy, frilly, fire-engine red gown to make it happen.
The cape wasn’t nearly as bad as the embroidered “ones” along the hems.
“I want you to marry one of them if…”
“Spit it out,” you ordered, holding in your own laughs while Kat fell apart.
“If they’re your number one choice,” she squeaked again while she steadied herself with a hand on her thigh.
You couldn’t blame her. Not with the state your hair was in.
~~~
“Tonight, we have lifted one of our rules for the sake of fairness to our esteemed hunters,” Uncle charmed the crowd, his fingers resting on the back of your neck.
He looked down at you with that practiced mask of a doting uncle while he gripped your skin like you were an unruly animal that he had to control.
“My dear niece must remain within the borders of the island, but the sky’s the limit now.”
He stepped away with a smirk, and you were too drained from smiling to care what he meant. It was always a game at your expense. You were just glad that he wasn’t touching you anymore.
Resisting the urge to scratch his eyes out like the unruly animal you were took a lot of energy, and you were going to need it tonight.
The vultures were practically squealing while Prince Ichiji walked up the path, flanked on either side by his brothers. The ruffles on their shirts looked natural on them, and their capes just reminded you that they were royalty, even if they descended from vicious conquerors who claimed that status. From all you’d gathered, these current Vinsmokes seem to carry that violent legacy.
Except for when they looked at you.
Ichiji held out the longest, but soon the three of them were staring at you like hungry puppies. Niji and Yonji knelt at your sides to kiss your hands, thoroughly. Ichiji leaned down, the swoops in his red hair casting distracting shadows across his face beneath the lanterns.
“Everyone’s fighting to take home the lovely prize,” he breathed against your ear before he pulled back to meet your eyes. “But they can’t have you.”
“Oh,” you tried to tease, but the kisses still peppering your hands and fingers were too distracting. “Why is that?”
The three of them laughed, and you would have fallen if they hadn’t gripped your hands in time. The three princes had all touched their belts, and the colorful raid suits they were so famous for spread over them instantly, to roaring applause. You hadn’t had time to catch your breath before Ichiji lifted you into his arms.
“You’re our little princess now.”
Don’t scream. Don’t scream. Don’t scream.
“Don’t be scared, pretty,” he comforted, though his pleased voice didn’t stop the world from disappearing beneath you.
“Yeah, I’ll catch you if he drops you,” Yonji flew close to your cheek.
“I won’t drop her.”
How does their hair stay like that in the wind, you thought, giggling to yourself while you watched the trees beneath you.
“Can I touch the top of a tree?”
“You can touch anything you– ”
“Back off, Niji,” Ichiji growled at his blue haired brother that had flown too close this time before returning to that simpering voice. “Of course, princess. We can find every tree on the island, if you like.”
“Just one is lovely, thank you.”
Touching the top of a redwood tree had never crossed your mind, but the feel of it against your fingers gave you a moment of sweetness at the thought of telling your dad about it. He would be so excited, and he’d want to know every detail, until you both were scribbling on notepads to calculate how long it would take to touch every tree on the island.
It was stupid. How could you stay numb when you kept reminding yourself of pain, or of something far crueler than that?
Happiness and love would tear you apart.
~~~
If you weren’t out of breath, you might have giggled again at how well the scene fit with your last thought.
Another clearing on another stolen hill had come into view, during one of the brief glances you’d sent toward the ground. That ground was coming too close, too fast, but the scent hit you before your feet touched the ground.
Someone had planted a circular wall of roses that was taller than you’d thought possible for the flower. You had learned that the realm of possibility was vaster than you could imagine. What were some huge rose bushes compared to everything else in your world?
Ichiji set you down beside a gorgeous table of dark wood, with large, cushioned chairs in that matching rose-red.
He poured champagne, toasting to your beauty while you waited for him to sip first.
“Are you nervous,” the red head asked, the hint of laughter in his tone. “Don’t worry, princess, you can relax here. I made sure we’d have plenty of privacy.”
“Yeah,” Yonji called while he flew down into the tower of roses. “No one’s getting in here without catching some thorns.”
“We finished the rounds,” Niji reported. He stayed floating toward the top, lazily bouncing something in his hand. “This is the only snail left in a mile radius. Now you two can have some alone time.
“DON’T HURT IT! Please… don’t…”
Niji paused with his arm pulled back, stopping before throwing the transponder snail, cocking his head as he looked down at you.
“Don’t be so cruel, brother,” Ichiji purred beside you.
Breathe. Just breathe.
“Please, don’t hurt it,” you tried to keep your voice from shaking. It was already hoarse from that scream. “I… like snails.”
“So sweet,” Yonji swooned. He flew close, with Niji and the poor snail following behind him. “You should see our— “
“It’s my turn, brothers,” the eldest prince reminded them.
Yonji kissed your cheek before he flew away, but Niji grabbed your wrist. He placed the snail in the center of your palm before tracing his fingers down the side of your face.
“Such a pretty princess,” he hummed, “I’ll make sure this thing is safe for you. We can even let some watch our date if you— “
“This is my date, Niji.”
“Right. Have fun, you two.”
Thankfully, the blue-haired brother grabbed the snail before he flew away, but another set of eyes stayed glued to your skin.
“Sorry about that, beautiful. Let’s eat, I wanna know about all the other sweet things you like.”
Still cheesy. Still cocky.
Yet somehow his guiding hand on you lower back, and his hungry eyes reminded you of another sort of numb.
Nothing matters, so I might as well enjoy this.
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
~~~~~~
~~~🐊🐊🐊~~~
“Feel good, star,” Crocodile’s little clown mumbled in his sleep, the stench of liquor on Buggy’s breath rivaling his own.
“Hey,” he started, wanting to carry Buggy to bed instead of leaving him alone on that green couch. “Come on— “
“Just feel good, baby,” his clown whined softly, the sadness in his voice tearing at the scarred man even more tonight.
“Shh, Buggy. It’s gonna be okay.”
He hoped he wasn’t lying.
“I won’t tell, star. I know it was a— What the fuck?”
“It’s just me, little clown. Let’s go to bed,” he offered his hand. Buggy shook himself but followed him down the empty corridor to that empty bed. “Bad dreams again?”
“No— I mean, just the same bullshit,” Buggy coughed while his fingers tapped along his thigh. “Ha, I really thought the booze would help… What about you?”
Crocodile pulled the man close, and kissed that tangled, blue hair as he closed his eyes against this shitty world.
“We’re gonna get her back,” he vowed ignoring the scent of lies in the air. There had never been room for trust in this world, but Crocodile realized he didn’t care if his little lovers were lying to him. He just needed them back.
He needed to make a better world for them.
~~~🐊🐊🐊~~~
Likes, comments, and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you!!
Author's Note: "I've still been disappearing from the world," is how I started my last author's note from Chapter 34. So much has changed in my life.
Personal Vent below! Mostly vague, but trigger warning for toxic, demanding work environments, and their affect on physical and mental health. Mention of bipolar and adhd.
PLEASE DON'T READ THIS unless you really want to, and have the space for it! I would rather you scroll past than to take on any of my stress.
I am okay, and I want Numbers Game to be a place for us to rest and enjoy some fictional chaos instead. This will be the last time I'll discuss this on a Numbers Game post, but I felt I had to share how much I've wanted to be here with y'all. Any future updates will be posted separately on my lynna's health updates tag.
I am free from the situation that was wrecking my physical, mental, and financial health for the past five years. That chaos sent me into an episode that landed me on medical leave last year. But that fucked up time is when I started writing, and joined this wonderful community. I wouldn't have made it though the past year without y'all. I was in full on crisis mode, and it had all come to a head over these past few months. Then I got out. I was so fucking excited to tell y'all about the new changes in my life, but I was overwhelmed with everything that I had to do to get out and prepare. Plus, my fucking thumb stopped working because I was typing the first draft of this chapter on my phone since I had no time to sit down and write, and I had to rest it for the new job that seemed perfect for me. I hope that it'll get better soon, but I seem to have jumped out of the frying pan, and into the fire. I am okay. I am safe. I am just tired as fuck, and needing to set boundaries with a new company that is even more demanding than the last. At least they are actually paying me on time, and it's less physically demanding, (unless you count a lifelong insomniac adjusting to waking up at 6am and getting home at 6pm, five days a week 🥴). The main reason I was excited for this job, besides relieving the crisis shit I was going though, was that it would have a regular schedule; I'd be able to focus on what I really want to do. Sorry it took me so long to catch my breath, but I'm fucking back, y'all. I'm not letting another company drain my soul away. I'm not working off the clock any more.
I've got smut to write 🥰📝🔥
With so much love,
~ Lynna 💜✨
Tag List: @shewrites02 | @caniseethefourthsword | @hey-august | @chaoticqueen33 | @destinationmars | @novakitten0901 | @h0n3y-l3m0n05 | @dorky-birdie | @szired | @pinejayy | @laws-wife-things | @jadeddangel | @gingernut1314 | @urlocaltwink | @blue-rae18 | @bontensbabygirl | @bbnbhm | @0-sparkling-lace-0 | @ihearthazuki | @mikisspeak | @djloveyou3000 | @mercymccann | @horse-and-writer97 | @napagent
Part 36
Operation Olive Branch has compiled a working spreadsheet of ways to help families fleeing from the genocide in Palestine. If you enjoyed this fic, and are able, please click the link to find a list of GoFundMe's, as well as other ways to help.
| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 |
#cross guild smut#mihawk smut#sir crocodile smut#buggy smut#one piece smut#cross guild x reader#mihawk x reader#sir crocodile x reader#buggy x reader#crocodile x reader#cross guild polycule#shuggy smut#shanks smut#shanks x reader#one piece x reader#one piece fanfic#dracule mihawk x reader#crochawk smut#crocodile x mihawk#fem!reader#reader insert#x reader#use of y/n#smut#turtletaub fics#numbers game#cw dark content#cw mental illness#cw childhood trauma#cw mental hospital
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Enemies? Yeah Right.
PAIRING: Carl Grimes x Fem Reader
Genre: smut
WARNING: MDNI! 18+, making out, cursing, choking, pnv, public?, a bit of thigh riding, hair pulling, nicknames (be warned), cry kink, etc.
Summary: You and Carl got into another fight like always but this time he couldn’t stop what he was doing when he saw you hanging out with Ron.
Note: there no outbreaks here btw I think most of the stories that I’m gonna post here is “no outbreak” and if there anything I miss lmk!
You really don’t know how you got here on your knee’s sucking carl off. One minute you talking to Ron at the library picking comic’s for your next read then the second you’re being dragged by a very angry Carl. Right now the both of you are in a section between two book cases full of books choking on his dick. Anyone who would pass by you both would be traumatized for the rest of their life
“Yeah, just like that baby fuck.” Carl muttered closing his eye and throwing his head back holding your hair in a ponytail. Pushing you’re head further down his thick length making you gagged, you moan loving the feeling of his tip hitting down your throat it hurts like hell making your eye’s watery but you still love it
“Shh, it’s okay baby you’re doing good just a little longer”
Whining your hands go down to your clit playing with it ignoring how slippery it is. You thank to yourself in the head for wearing a skirt after all it was hot. Taking your hands away you put them on his thighs “No don’t that. Take your fucking hands off.” He ordered making you take your hands off of his thighs, tearing falling down your face. Seeing you cry made him lose it
“Shit, shit, I’m close. Oh fuck.” He said grunting as he fill your mouth full of his cum. Pulling your head off of him. He grabs your jaw in a firm but gentle hold “Open.” He ordered again making you open your mouth seeing it empty as you swallowed his cum
“Good girl.”
He roughly grab your arm pushing your body against the bookshelf facing him. Grabbing your throat, choking you lightly before bringing you into a rough kiss making you whine. You press your thigh together trying to get rid of your throbbing cunt wanting attention, but as always Carl always one step ahead knowing what you want still kissing you roughly
He pulls you lace panties to the side slipping his cock in between your thigh not putting it in your pussy and grinds between them making you whimper. He groans loving the feeling of your wetness on his cock. Oh, how much he love this. he dream of this ever since he got that one dream of you riding him feeling how tight you where making him go faster. His tip would sometimes slip in your tight hole making you gasp
And he doesn’t forget he is still mad about seeing you close with Ron earlier.
Pulling away from the kiss and from you he faces you towards the bookshelf your back facing him. Moving your hips back wanting to feel him but only to reserve your hair being pulled back making your head look up to the ceiling before you can speak he slipped his cock in you, making you gasp in pain due to his thickness but also in pleasure. your eyes rolling back feeling him moving
He didn’t give you time to adjust to his size as he began moving in and out of you rough and fast. Hearing the skin slapping together made him even more harder going faster than ever not caring if someone hears or sees them fucking his little slut out. Letting moans and whimpers out feeling the tip of his cock hit your g-spot
“Who’s cock better mine or his huh?”
“Y-yours”
“Who’s?”
Yelping as he pulls your hair back making your back arch “Yours, Yours!” You said your body shaking in pleasure as he keeps going in and out. Letting out a ‘mhm’ he begin sucking on your neck marking you as his. He want to let everyone know your his that you’re his only and no one’s. Not Ron, or fucking asher who he caught you talking too making him feel jealous. Moving his head away from your neck, panting in your ear her let’s go of your hair moving his hand down to your clit rubbing and pinching it. He moans feeling you squeeze him
“You gonna cum slut?”
“Mhm, mhm”
“Cum. cum all over my cock milk it with your cream”
You squeezing him so tight, you cum covering his cock him following after you he spilled his cum inside of you not caring if you get pregnant. after all, he wants you to be his
Pulling out with a hiss he hold’s you making sure you don’t fall. Looking down at your legs shaking he smirk at what he created before planting a small kiss on your forehead. After sometime he lets you go pulling his boxers and pants up fixing himself and then fixing you
He hug you feeling bad for going rough on you “you’re mine okay?” He said softly against your hair “But we are enemies..” you told him your mind a bit foggy. Carl chuckles “I don’t care. You’re mine now princess.” Kissing you softly and gently
Tags: @carlgrimesgfofficial @shadowybasementmiracle
Note: I’m still sick it’s been like 3 days I think. And by the end of this short story I actually throw up due to dizziness so this might be my last story until I get better maybe?. But here this! If there any mistakes lol pls!
#carl grimes#the walking dead#chandler riggs#carl x reader#carl grimes x oc#amc the walking dead#carl grimes smut
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Hii! I loved your last headcanons, may i ask for shansk x f reader headcanon where they decide to have a baby, the pregnancy and the birth? I had a kid recently and it's so stressing so i would like to know how him and the crew would handle the situation, ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable, have a good day!
Shanks’ Baby - F Reader x Shanks
Content: Pregnancy, birth, parenthood is hard but you both are trying your best! Shanks is a pirate through and through
Notes* woah, congrats!!! parenthood can be rough but I hope you’re doing well! Please remember that taking care of yourself postpartum is important, too! Also if your baby is colicky definitely try white noise that seems to work sometimes?? Good luck and I wish you and your baby great health!!
Shanks
Having a baby was something that was always a risk between you two, but you both took every measure not to let that happen by accident. Shanks is a pirate and you were not, and the last thing Shanks wanted was to be an absent father
deciding that you did finally want a baby only came after lengthy discussions and planning for months
Shanks still wasn’t ready when you told him you were finally pregnant- but you didn’t really need to say it. He’d returned from another trip of his and you were already 4 months along
He felt terrible that he’d missed the first stages, but he decides then and there to lower his anchor and stay for a while because there was no way he was going to miss anything more
The crew is also very helpful. Pregnancy is harder the bigger you get- cravings, hormones, not being able to tie your shoes- it’s overwhelming at times, so there’s always someone around to help with whatever you might need if Shanks isn’t
He’s right by your side at the birth, holding you hand and taking the curses at him like a champ
He doesn’t let that baby out of his sight, either. He’s got too many enemies to trust just anyone to take care of his newborn, so he demands to either be in every room or for them to do what they need to while he’s holding your child
No one dared defy that man
He’s such an attentive man post-partum as well. There’s so many sleepless nights as you two learn how to be parents but he always makes sure that you are fed and that you have some time to rest
Even if the baby cries on and on, he won’t wake you for help unless he thinks it’s something only you can handle
He LOVES to do skin to skin with your new baby. He heard about it once and now he never puts the little one down
He’s already emotional about not wanting them to grow up
When it comes down to it, he can’t resist the call of the sea. But he knows it’s dangerous, and so one day after a lot of talk between the two of you, he leaves
it’s hard without him. Not having his help, not getting sleep… It’s awful
He’s gone for months. You’re relieved to see him back, and when Shanks sees how much your little baby has already grown, he vows never to leave you again. You end up part of his crew permanently- he’ll figure out the details later but for now, he’s confident he can keep you safe
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I’ve been seeking a secret life of bondage for a long time, and I’ve been fantasizing about the start.
Perhaps, one day, a chat strikes up on an online platform. Plans are made to meet, and maybe they go a little something like this…
I have just arrived at the airport and I’m waiting for my Uber to take me to our arranged Airbnb. You’ve already ordered the car for me, I just have to wait for a black sedan with license plate VNG9411. Eventually they pull up, I wave politely and move to put my things in the trunk.
The driver stops me, a little too harshly. He softens immediately and offers to do it for me. I agree and climb into the backseat.
He returns to the driver’s seat and we leave the airport.
He makes small talk. What am I doing in town?
Meeting a friend.
Oh? New or old?
New.
You meet online or something?
Yes.
You’re not exactly forthcoming. You know I’m driving us to our destination here… maybe you should be a little nicer to me.
I look up, shocked, and try to scrutinize my driver for the first time. He looks away from the rear view mirror before I can catch his eye. I saw a flash of grey in his eyes. He has salt and pepper hair. Tall… clean. A casual outfit: jeans and a tshirt.
Excuse me?
You heard me.
I’m not sure what to say…
You could apologize.
I think that’s asking a bit much.
Is it?
Suddenly the driver takes an exit by cutting over two lanes. We narrowly miss a Subaru.
Hey!
He doesn’t answer. He drives us to the middle of nowhere, parks. And waits. After I can’t take the silence I ask,
What are we doing?
He doesn’t respond, just gets out of the car and into the backseat.
Hey!
You smile at me and now that I’ve met your eye, I know. You didn’t order an Uber.
You’re on top of me now, pressing a hand over my mouth and grabbing my wrist to take control. I pretend to struggle and I mmphh into your hand.
You should’ve been nicer to me.
You take your hand from my mouth and pull my beanie off my head, shoving it into my bewildered mouth. I mmph again. You pull my scarf from my neck and begin wrapping it around my wrists.
Once I’m tied, you tell me to wait here. You get out of the car and open the trunk.
Now I understand why you were so harsh.
Back in the car with a small duffel bag, you pull out a handful of bandannas right as I’m spitting my hat out of my mouth.
I start calling for help out the window and you react just as I want you too. From behind me you pull one of the bandannas between my teeth and swiftly knot it behind my head. The next one is pulled over my mouth, further silencing my little mmpphs. The next bandanna is pulled over my eyes before you wrap me in your arms.
I’m moaning, squealing, when you clap a hand over my gagged mouth. Your other hand falls on my breast.
Are you going to behave or do I have to chloroform you for the rest of the ride?
Exhilarated at the prospect, I start writhing in your arms. You grip tighter and I relish your touch.
You let go and I sit obediently and wait. You pull me back into your arms and press a soaked handkerchief over my mouth. I struggle again and try not to breathe in the fumes for as long as possible.
You’re rubbing my body in all the right ways with your other hand while I writhe. But too soon I’m asleep.
The next thing I barely remember is being carried by you. And after that, I’m awake in a chair. My mouth is free but I’m in the dark. Silk is over my eyes.
Hello? Are you the-
And you’ve been waiting for this moment right behind me.. more silk is pulled between my teeth and you promise me the best weekend getaway is just beginning.
I’ll continue the fantasy in another post. Any takers on a weekend getaway?
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good news everyone…. i have a bed frame now 🫶
i still need to decorate the walls and do some more organizing, but !!!! this is my favorite bed frame out of my grandpa’s house, and i’m so happy to have it!
#it’s been a while since i got to experience any Joy when moving into a new place#well. it’s not a new place. i’m just moving back into my childhood home#but it’s different now for a number of reasons. and i’m happy that i get to make this place my own#i’m so happy i get to set up my stuff just how i want and utilize the space#it’s starting to feel more and more like home again. smiles big and wide#gear diary#no id#on an even more personal and completely unrelated note i’m going through some horrific stuff irl#so i’m trying to stay positive and cling to the good things and the things which are in my control#augh. my heart hurts so much and i feel depressed a lot of the time#BUT. doing stuff like this helps. i will make this home My Home again if it’s the last thing i do#i just remembered that i used to share this room with both my siblings when we were really small#three twin beds up against the back wall…. i slept in the middle. middle sibling behavior ngl#and i had the highly coveted pillow pet that would light up and cast stars on the ceiling at the end of my bed#☹️#i miss being a kid.#ANYWAY THIS IS A HAPPY POST. CELEBRATE WITH ME!
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j need to get back into life drawing post haste
#i think im losing . construction in my art#im forgetting how to draw bodies think. idk#literlaly so annoying . its like fun when u get the hang of things but then u neglect one aspect in pursuit of another#and then have to go back and touch up that old skill to try and balance jt and theres that brief period where#eveyrthing is harmonious and then it outpaces itself again and becomes ths juggling act#overall i enjoy it . the drawing sessions but smtimes finding the will 2 get out of bed is like pulling teeth#bc i know im never going 2 walk out of there feeling satisfied but . actually idc#a lot of my pals . my friends there r a couple of decades older than me and they have the best advice tbh#randy. and donna . randy and donna and third guy whose name i forget . -> if u r satisfied at the end of a session did u rly learn anything#always want 2 improve . right right#UARHGHQHHH ill do it ill go . im scared bc i feel like it tends to artblock me#bc i start getting in my head ab what i know/see vs what i can only draw#but im sooo addicted 2 wanting to get better . i want to draw like a million people i see on here who have that great construction and#weight and anatomy and dynamism . i want to be like u . ill work to be like u ill try#and i feel like ive negelcted my basics for soo long .. i need to get ths foam shapes and a lamp . NOWWWW#yotasuke#i miss yotasuke so much.damn. thats crazy . anyways#the way he points out that yatoras dedication/hard work is a talent . like ueah . i agree w him im envious of that r u kidding me#and ytora walkimg arnd like oh u have it so easy ytsk. he needs to shut the hell up smtimes#i meed to see them eviscerate each other blood and all.#spongebob icecream truck- not that yatoras hard work isnt Also a skill but ykwim . if youve read YKWIMM#bc he was always like woe is me im soo untalented and its like no bro u r you just manifest it differently . that natural drive is a talent#but that natural drive also takes skill to foster and nurture else it has no purpose .#no i cant be blp posting in the tags bye
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~
#they speak!#it's probably just the illness that's making me extra irritable but like.#roommate kept coming up to me this morning going oh did i wake you up? i'm sorry if i did. did i do that or no? i'm really sorry.#and i kept telling him to stop saying sorry because i didn't have the brain power to phrase#'you could've been more considerate of your volume but you also have the right to use the common space so it's whatever'#but he said it to me again before i went to my room just now and it's like. ok. shut up.#if you actually cared that much u would've just been quieter in the first place actually.#anyways. annoyed. there were some annoying customers in the store today but it was whatever.#i feel like my fucks to give had already worn out with all the ppl in my social circle/my parents and the recent ongoings of that#[redacted] was being passive aggressive to me in the group chat and it's like. ok! idk what u want from me.#and i'm grateful for them for coming over and helping me with cleaning last week#and it's those sorts of actions that let me know they care and want good things for me#but like. i haaaate telling them anything because even innocuous non-private things get turned into judgement with them.#also. more and more i can feel how i'm drifting away from h and now with retrospect i can see how we mutually hurt each other :)#i keep coming back to this one period where i really wanted to take them to try dimsum and they kept saying they were too scared to try it#and in their new friend group they regularly go out n get dimsum together. which on the surface is like. why didn't you want to go with /me#i told you i wanted to share what i liked and i would explain what things were and i could do the talking and you still said no#but it's also very much a reflection of how i always rolled over and enabled them. i never challenged them. i was always passive.#i also feel like i'm heavily neglecting e and a recently and i can tell how the physical distance is affecting us and idk. it's weird.#anyways. another post that should've been a journal entry! lol!#when [redacted] helped with cleaning they also buried my journal under my like#300 packets of sesame candies and i can't be bothered to dig it out. also my bandaids are missing now. <3#ik this also sounds passive aggressive but genuinely appreciate the help i just kinda hate how they think hidin everything in boxes is good#'we need to get you some more storage boxes and containers!!' actually i think that will be the opposite of helpful.#i need everything visible and on open surfaces so i can 1) remember they exist for me to use and 2) not have barriers for me to get to them
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