#i want to take this man’s virginity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[taradactyls]

I think the one I see this most strongly with is Pamela; Or, Virtue Rewarded by Samuel Richardson.

It's hard to read in the modern day. Pamela is a servant girl who spends a lot of time trying not to be raped by her employer, who eventually kidnaps her, and the only other woman in a position to aid her actively helps the attempted rapist to assault her in various ways. At one point she holds Pamela down in bed so it can happen (apparently the woman is this awful because she's an atheist). At another time the employer actively says that he would've continued and actually raped her if she kept fighting him, it was only because Pamela fainted that he stopped the attempt. She woke up from that attempt with her stays (underwear) cut up.

Pamela ends up marrying this man, after realising she has fallen in love with him, who is then 'reformed' by her 'goodness.'

It's meant to be a happy and uplifting tale. Obviously, to us, it's more of a horror story.

We see the victim blame in 'if you'd kept fighting you would've been raped' and also know that being unconscious actually makes you more at risk, and understand that a woman who eventually gave in to her master's advances is not any less 'good' for fearing being violently raped (or worse) if she continued protesting. We are less likely to believe people can be so entirely reformed by the 'virtue' of others, and see a man who would take advantage of power dynamics like that as bad even if he wasn't so aggressive in his advances. There are no real consequences for his crimes and continued harassment of a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD in his employ and who had zero protection or options. It's just all round horrid to our modern eyes.

But in many ways it was actually progressive for the time.

Pamela is a servant who ends the book married (not mistress to) a gentleman with an estate and eventually being accepted and adored by the land owning class. This is a rise of a magnitude far higher than Elizabeth marrying Mr Darcy, Jane Eyre and Mr Rochester, or even Cinderella as she was highborn, and was really making the case that servant women could and do have as much inherent worth as gentlewomen by birth. For how classist 1740 England was, that's a controversial take.

And though it's considered a backwards view now, this was the first novel/work which was really reaching out to lower-class women and saying 'your virtue is worth as much as upper-class women.' I dislike the whole concept of sexual virtue and disagree that Pamela's virtue would be lost through rape, but the point remains that this book was making a case for greater equality between classes in a time where the ruling class relied on being considered naturally better by birth and chosen by god to rule. The novel was criticised for exactly this.

Not only that, but by promoting virginity, he was also championing a woman's right to say no. Pamela's ability and decision to refuse is upheld both positively and as what should have been the final word. The male main character only becomes a 'good' person once he truly understands and respects that. An idea only becomes outdated once the societal framework supporting the status quo has changed, and Samuel Richardson was writing in a time where a servant girl (or any woman really, for instance marital rape wouldn't become a crime for another 250 years) who refused her master's advances would have little recourse or sympathy if he didn't respect that no. This novel was telling all those girls your sexual autonomy is worth fighting for... you're worth fighting for.

And, though we see that Pamela's abuser essentially gets what he wanted and gets off scot-free (an illness and a change of heart isn't going to fly with a judge, you douche), it was revolutionary for the time in that it's told from the victim's perspective as a horrible series of events. These acts, many of which were common place and not illegal (some even actively considered romantic) at the time, was a criticism of many masculine behaviours and championed the woman's/victim's perspective. It drew attention to what we now consider domestic violence and abuse of power. Though we might argue about his methods (a minority of contemporary readers viewed the novel as salacious because of the inclusion of the assault scenes) the author's intent was to actively give moral instruction into proper domestic behaviour. Which, aside from 'sexually assaulting your employees is bad' does also include less radical and actively harmful views such as 'be loyal and loving to your employers no matter what.' Historical novels are a mixed bag like that, but he was still advocating for mutual social contracts towards each other, and rejecting the idea that the rich men who ruled the world could do whatever they wanted. He was speaking for the powerless against those in power.

I'll probably never read the book again, it was too uncomfortable for me, but without an understanding of the time it was written it would feel like gratuitous assault and a glorification of abusive relationships, when really, it was the exact opposite. We're just lucky enough to live in a society where many of his arguments have been accepted both socially and legally for so long that it's hard to imagine a case ever needed to be made in their favour.

tbh nothing frustrates me more then when people brush off classics like pride and prejudice or jane eyre because they don’t fit into today’s modern standards of feminism and social justice etc.

remember that these novels were published in the 19th century. and that some of the things that were written in these books may seem trivial to us today but would have absolutely fucking shook readers in the victorian era

like,,,,,elizabeth rejecting mr collins because she doesn’t love him even though it would have been considered her duty in her family to marry him? or jane eyre not agreeing to marry mr rochester unless it was on her own terms? hell even anne brontë wrote a lesser known novel about a wife leaving her abusive husband with her five year old son to live a better life?? do y’all realize how unheard of that would be in the 1800′s?? where women were considered more of a commodity than actual human beings??

even though they might not be up to todays standards of modern feminism and romance, they were still HUGE building blocks for equality for that time period. so if you’re a reader who says to themselves ‘I read classics with modern standards applied and I can’t get past that’ then you are most likely going to be disappointed when reading classics and not fully understand their significance to that time period 

[tokkiwrites]

"Summer nights like this had a way of unfolding secrets. The kind of nights when the air hung heavy with pine and smoke, the moon glinting like a shy voyeur against the rippling surface of the lake. This wasn’t your first time at the Washington family cabin, but it was the first time that everything felt different. No parents. No rules. And, worst of all, no escape from the fact that Josh Washington was here, and he wasn’t yours."

summary: Your best friend invites you to their annual summer trip to the family cabin in the mountains—something you've done before. But this year is different: no parents. After years of secretly harboring feelings for your best friend’s brother, Josh, you decide this is the perfect chance to finally confess.

tags: best friend's brother!joshua washington x f!reader, childhood crush, both josh and reader like each other but act oblivious (josh more than reader), reader is low key obsessed with josh, minor age gap, alternative universe where Hannah and Beth are still alive, some angst, p in v (protected), virginity loss (reader), kind of fluff, josh talks you through it (yummy!!), fingering (f receiving), idiots in love 🫶🏻

/ᐠ - ˕ -マ⁩ tokkis note 𑁯 ✿ hey... how yall doing... the rami malek fever is so real i had to write something. so i did. 6,45k words to be more exact, teehee! i dont quite know what this is, but i had fun writing it, like it got me giggling and shit so yeah 💀 if you see any typos close your eyes, forget you saw anything. enjoy!

7th grade. That was when you stopped thinking of Josh Washington as just Hannah’s annoying older brother. Between the way he stayed behind after soccer practice to teach you how to kick a penalty and the smirk he threw over his shoulder, like he knew you were watching him. The first time when you actually considered Josh not being a jerk like other boys. In 9th grade, he became the hottest guy you had ever met. or maybe you just got so used to his face that you didn't want to look at other boys. Fast forward to now, you're starting college in one month, and things have changed in a way. maybe for the worstㅡ because he's all you can think about.

“You’re staring again.” Hannah’s voice snaps you out of your daze. She’s grinning, nudging your ribs as the two of you sit on the couch in the cabin. “You’re so obvious.” You blink and turn toward her, cheeks heating. “I—I wasn’t staring!”

“Oh, you were,” she teases, popping a chip into her mouth. “What is it this time? The hair? The jawline? Or did you finally notice his arms? I mean, have you seen him chop firewood? That’s peak Josh.”

“Hannah!” You hiss, smacking her arm. She only laughs, and you can’t help but roll your eyes. But she’s not wrong. Somewhere between your senior year of high school and now, Josh had gone from the boy who made stupid puns to the man who could take your breath away just by walking into a room. Unfortunately, it seems like he doesn’t notice.

“Still no move, huh?” Hannah says, lowering her voice. “You’re not seriously going to spend another summer in silent agony, are you?” You sigh. “What am I supposed to say? ‘Hey, Josh, remember me? The girl who used to wear braces and cried when I lost my retainer? Cool. Wanna make out?’” Hannah snorts so loudly that Beth, sitting nearby with her book, looks over with a frown. “What are you two laughing about now?”

“Nothing,” you and Hannah say in unison, though she’s still stifling giggles. Beth looks at you both, arching a brow. “Sure,” she says, clearly unconvinced, but she doesn’t push. She returns to her book, leaving you free to squirm under Hannah’s knowing gaze.

Josh doesn’t stick around to witness your humiliation. He’s already disappeared into the kitchen, and the sound of the fridge opening and the clinking of bottles is the only thing tethering you to the moment. “Do something this trip,” Hannah murmurs, leaning close so Beth doesn’t overhear. “Seriously. You’ve been mooning over him since forever. And now—” she waves a hand at the open windows, the twilight stretching wide like a stage—“this is your moment.”

“Hannah, it’s not like that,” you say, but even you don’t believe it. Not when your heart skips every time Josh is within ten feet of you. “It’s exactly like that,” she shoots back, voice low but insistent. “He likes you, too, you know.” You look at her sharply. “What?”

“Oh, don’t give me that face,” Hannah says, rolling her eyes. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’s just... Josh. Oblivious as hell.”

You’re about to argue, to tell her she’s wrong, that there’s no way Joshua Washington— carefree, clever, confident Josh, could ever see you like that. But before you can, his voice carries from the kitchen. “You two plotting something?” Your breath hitches, and Hannah, ever the instigator, grins. “Maybe,” she calls back. Josh reappears, beer in hand, and leans against the doorway. His green eyes flick between the two of you, and for a moment, you swear they linger on you. “Well, don’t blow up the cabin,” he says with a crooked smile before heading out onto the porch.

That night, the cabin settled into quiet. Beth retires early, Hannah tucked away in the room you’re sharing, and yet you can’t sleep. Your thoughts swirl—images of Josh’s hands, the way his eyes looked into yours, his voice, smooth and teasing, the way his smile felt like a hook tugging you somewhere you shouldn’t want to go.

The room feels suffocating, the summer heat pressing against your skin. You slip out of bed as quietly as you can, grabbing a towel and slipping into your swimsuit. The lake isn’t far. You’ve been there a hundred times before, but tonight, it feels like it’s waiting just for you. The water is cold when you first step in, but it’s a welcome relief, a shock that clears your head. You wade in deeper, letting the towel drop onto the shore, and soon, the swimsuit feels like too much. You hesitate, glancing back toward the cabin, but it’s silent and still. “Just you and the lake,” you whisper to yourself. The swimsuit peels away, and the water envelops you like a second skin. You float, staring up at the sky, letting the cool liquid carry the weight of your thoughts.

But then a voice shatters the stillness.

“Didn’t take you for a midnight swimmer.”

You jolt, water sloshing as you whirl toward the shore. Josh is standing there, hands in his pockets, his head cocked in that infuriatingly casual way he always manages. “Josh!” You shriek, sinking deeper into the water. “What are you doing out here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” he says, stepping closer to the water’s edge. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“Something like that,” you mutter, your cheeks burning even as the water cools your skin. His eyes sweep over the lake, lingering just long enough to make your heart race. “You always were full of surprises,” he says softly, almost to himself. “Are you just going to stand there and watch me, or are you joining?” you ask before you can think better of it. The question hangs in the air, bold and daring, and for a moment, you think you’ve scared him off. But then he grins.

“Alright.”

You watch, half in awe, as he pulls his shirt over his head, revealing the toned lines of his chest and the faint trail of scars along his ribs. He doesn’t stop there, shucking off his jeans until he’s left in his boxers.

The water ripples as he drops in, and suddenly, he’s closer than you expected, the space between you charged with something you can’t quite name. “This is nice,” he says, his voice quieter now, almost reverent. You nod, the words caught in your throat. “Do you ever feel like...” He trails off, his gaze fixed on the horizon. “Like there’s something just out of reach? Like you want to grab it, but you’re scared of what happens if you do?”

Your heart thuds. “All the time.” His gaze shifts to you, his expression unreadable. For a moment, you think he’s going to say something—something that will change everything. Instead, he leans back, letting himself float. “Good thing we’ve got the whole summer,” he murmurs.

You’re not sure if he’s talking to you or himself. But one thing is clear: you’ll spend every moment of this summer trying to pull him closer.

The next morning, the cabin feels alive with the quiet rustle of summer. Birds trill in the trees, and sunlight pours through the open windows, a golden invitation to start the day. Hannah is already on the deck with a cup of coffee, scrolling on her phone when you step out. “You’re up early,” she says, not looking up. You shrug, trying to hide how restless you’d been all night after what happened at the lake. “Couldn’t sleep.”

She raises a brow but doesn’t press. “Josh is down at the dock,” she says, nodding toward the lake. “Probably sulking. You know how he gets.”

You hesitate. “Why’s he sulking?”

She snorts. “Because the rest of the group isn’t getting here until tomorrow. You’d think one day without his entourage wouldn’t kill him.” You glance toward the lake. the memory of last night. Josh’s quiet words, the way the moonlight danced in his eyes, it's still fresh in your mind. “You should go,” Hannah says, smirking now. “Cheer him up. Or stare at him some more. Whatever works.”

“Hannah!” But she’s already gone, slipping back into the cabin and leaving you with no choice but to head toward the dock.

Josh is sitting on the edge of the wooden dock, his feet dangling in the water. The air smells like cedar and the faint tang of sunscreen. for a moment, you almost turn back. But then he glances over his shoulder and sees you. “Morning,” he says, his voice softer than usual. “Hey,” you say, stepping onto the dock and sitting a few feet away. For a while, neither of you speak. The lake stretches out before you, endless and still, and it feels like the world has shrunk to just the two of you.

“Big day ahead of us,” Josh says eventually, his tone laced with sarcasm. “Yeah,” you reply, matching his smile. “So many exciting activities. Staring at trees. Staring at water. Staring at each other.” He laughs, and the sound is warm and unexpected. “Careful. I might think you’re obsessed with me.” Your stomach flips, but you keep your voice light. “Who says I’m not?”

Josh looks at you then, really looks at you, and for a second, you wonder if you’ve said too much. But instead of teasing, his expression softens. “I don’t get you sometimes,” he says quietly.

“What do you mean?” He shrugs, kicking at the water. “You’re just...different. Not like everyone else.” oh boy. “Good different or bad different?” you ask, your heart in your throat. Josh doesn’t answer right away. His gaze shifts to the endless forest, and when he finally speaks, his voice pangs through you.

“Good,” he says. "Definitely good.”

The rest of the day is a blur of lazy activities—helping Beth organize the kitchen, listening to Hannah’s playlist on the deck, and avoiding Josh just enough to keep your heart from imploding. By sunset, the air is thick with the anticipation of the group’s arrival tomorrow. Hannah flops onto the couch beside you, phone in hand. “Sam says they’re leaving first thing in the morning,” she says. “So, enjoy the quiet while it lasts.”

“Quiet?” Beth calls from the kitchen, laughing. “Have you met us?” Hannah rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. Tomorrow it’s going to be chaos. Jess and Emily bickering, Chris and Ashley pretending they’re not totally in love, Matt trying to keep the peace...and then there’s Josh.”

“What about Josh?” You ask before you can stop yourself. Hannah gives you a look. “You tell me.”

That night, you find yourself back at the lake, drawn by the same restless energy that kept you up the night before. You don’t plan on skinny dipping again—it feels too risky with everyone around—but the water calls to you anyway, soothing and eternal.

And maybe, just maybe, Josh feels the same right now.

You’re sitting on the shore, toes dipping into the cool water when you hear footsteps behind you. “Couldn’t sleep again?” You don’t have to turn around to know it’s him. “I could say the same to you,” you reply, glancing back. Josh sits beside you, his shoulder brushing yours, and the warmth of him is enough to set your skin buzzing. “It’s weird, isn’t it?” he says after a while.

“What is?”

“Being back here. Without... you know. Adults. Rules.” You nod, the weight of his words settling over you. “Feels different.”

“Yeah,” he says, his voice quieter now. “Makes you think about stuff.”

“Like what?” you ask, heart pounding.

Josh doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he picks up a stone and skips it across the water. One, two, three perfect skips before it sinks. “Like what happens next,” he says finally. “For all of us. Feels like everything’s about to change.”

You don’t know what to say to that. So, instead, you reach for your own stone, throwing it as hard as you can. It skips once before plunking into the water. “Guess I’ll just have to stick around and figure it out,” you say, keeping your voice light.

Josh looks at you, his eyes shadowed and searching, and for a moment, you think he’s going to say something. what you want to hear, maybe. something important. But instead, he smiles, that same lopsided grin that’s been haunting your dreams for years. “Good,” he says.

“I’d miss you otherwise.”

The cabin feels too small the moment the others arrive. It’s a blur of bodies, laughter, and chaos as the others spill into the space, dragging in bags, cooler boxes, and enough energy to wake the dead. It’s not that you mind them—you’ve known most of Josh’s friends for years, but something about the way the cabin hums now feels different. The tight, intimate bubble you’d shared with Josh, Hannah, and Beth is gone, replaced by noise and the easy rhythm of their group. You feel...adrift, to say the least. And watching Josh slip seamlessly back into his role as the charismatic center of attention only makes it worse.

By the time night falls, the cabin is alive with music, the sharp pop of bottle caps, and the low buzz of conversation. You find yourself perched in a corner of the living room, a half-empty drink in hand, watching the others like a ghost at your own party.

Josh is at the center of it all, as always. He’s standing near the couch, laughing at something Sam said, and the sound is enough to send your stomach twisting into knots. Sam, of course, is radiant—effortlessly pretty in her cropped sweatshirt, her hair catching the light like spun gold. She’s animated, gesturing with her hands, and every time Josh leans closer to hear her, you feel like the room tilts off its axis. “Hey,” Hannah says, sliding in next to you with a knowing look. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you lie, taking a sip of your drink. Hannah snorts. “Subtle.” You glance at her, frowning. “What?”

“You know what,” she says, tilting her head toward Josh and Sam. “Seriously, if you’re going to keep looking at him like that, you might as well do something about it.”

“I’m not looking at him,” you protest weakly. Hannah rolls her eyes. “Sure. And I’m not your best friend.” She pauses, watching you for a moment before her expression softens. “Look, you’re not exactly subtle when it comes to Josh. But for what it’s worth? I think he’s just as clueless about how he feels as you are.” Her words settle into your chest, a mix of hope and frustration, but before you can respond, Jess calls out from the other side of the room.

“Hey! Who’s up for Spin the Bottle?” You couldn’t escape it, let's be honest.

You don’t know how it happens, but somehow, you end up in the circle. Maybe it’s the drinking, or maybe it’s Hannah giving you a pointed nudge as everyone sits on the floor, but before you know it, you’re sandwiched between her and Ashley, your pulse pounding in your ears. Josh is directly across from you, his green eyes bright in the firelight. Sam is to his left, Jess to his right, and the knot in your stomach tightens. “Okay, ground rules,” Jess says, grinning wickedly. “No chickening out. You spin, you kiss. Period.”

There’s a chorus of laughter and a few groans, but no one protests. Chris goes first, spinning the bottle with dramatic flair. It lands on Ashley, who blushes furiously but leans in to kiss him. The group erupts in cheers and wolf whistles, and you can’t help but smile despite yourself.

One by one, the bottle makes its rounds. Jess and Emily kiss, Matt kisses Ashley despite him protesting, and eventually, it’s Josh’s turn. He spins the bottle with a lazy flick of his wrist, the glass neck twirling endlessly before it slows, stops, and lands on Sam.

Your stomach drops.

“Oh, come on,” Jess says, clapping her hands. “This is gonna be good.” Josh raises an eyebrow, glancing at Sam. She shrugs, smiling, and leans forward.

You can’t look away.

Their lips meet in a brief, playful kiss—nothing dramatic, nothing earth-shattering. but it’s enough. Enough to make your chest ache, your fingers tighten around the drink in your hand. When they pull apart, everyone cheers again, and Josh laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Your turn,” he says, handing the bottle to Sam. But you don’t care. You’re too busy swallowing the lump in your throat, trying to ignore the way your vision blurs at the edges.

Later, when the game ends and the group begins to disperse, you slip outside, the cool night air a welcome relief from the suffocating cabin. The lake stretches out before you, dark and endless, and for a moment, you let yourself breathe.

“You okay?” The voice startles you, and you turn to see Josh standing there, hands in his pockets. “I’m fine,” you say quickly, brushing at your eyes. He frowns, stepping closer. “You sure? You looked kind of...I don’t know, off.” You force a laugh, crossing your arms. “I’m fine, Josh. Really.” For a moment, he just looks at you, his brow furrowed like he’s trying to figure out a puzzle.

“You’re a terrible liar,” he says softly. The words hit harder than they should, and before you can stop yourself, you snap. “What do you want me to say, Josh? That I didn’t love watching you kiss Sam? That it didn’t suck seeing you two all cozy earlier?” His eyes widen, caught off guard, and for a second, you regret everything. But then his expression shifts���something softer, something almost...guilty.

“I didn’t...” He trails off, running a hand through his hair. “I wasn’t trying to...” You shake your head, wrapping your arms tighter around yourself. “Forget it. It’s not your fault.” Josh hesitates, like he’s weighing his next words carefully. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you,” he says finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

You glance at him, your heart aching at the look in his eyes—conflicted, searching. “I know,” you say quietly. “It’s fine. Really.” But it’s not fine. And as you turn back toward the cabin, leaving Josh standing by the lake, you can’t help but wonder if this summer is going to break you before it’s over.

The sun hung low in the sky, painting the cabin in hues of orange and gold. The group was scattered—Jess and Emily were bickering over sunscreen, Chris and Ashley were curled up on the deck talking in low tones, and Sam was by the lake with Hannah, skipping stones. It was all too perfect, too idyllic, except for the hollow ache in your chest.

Josh had been avoiding you all day.

It wasn’t like he was being obvious about it—Josh had a knack for slipping into conversations, filling the room with his sharp wit and charm like nothing was wrong. But you felt it. In the way his eyes would dart past you when you entered a room, the way his laugh seemed just a little louder when you weren’t around.

And maybe you were just as bad, lurking in the corners, pretending not to notice how often he touched Sam’s arm when they talked.

Written across your heart was all of your will to make him see—make him realize there was no in-between. There was either you and him, or the hollow echo of “I’m so sorry for your loss.” And wasn’t that what it felt like already? Like mourning something that never got the chance to live?

But it was his fault, wasn’t it?

For making you want him so much that your heart bled angel tears. For teaching your lips to sing sweet once-upon-a-times about a boy who was all sharp edges and hidden softness, who didn’t realize how much space he took up in your world.

By late afternoon, you found yourself back at the lake. It had become your refuge, the only place where you could breathe without the weight of Josh’s absence pressing against your ribs. Your toes skimmed the water’s edge, the cool ripples kissing your skin. You weren’t thinking about anything in particular—just the endless horizon, the way the light danced on the surface of the lake. But then a voice broke through your thoughts.

“You hiding out here now?” You didn’t have to turn around to know it was him. Again.

“Maybe I am,” you said, your voice sharper than you intended. Josh sighed, stepping closer. You could feel the heat of him at your back, the way his presence wrapped around you even when you didn’t want it to. “Look,” he said finally, his voice softer. “About the other night...” You turned to face him, cutting him off. “It’s fine, Josh. You don’t owe me an explanation.”

“Yes, I do.” His eyes—those endless green eyes—searched yours, his expression uncharacteristically serious. “No, you don’t,” you said, forcing a smile. “We’re friends. That’s all we’ve ever been, right?”

Josh flinched, like the word “friends” was a physical blow. “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said quietly. For a moment, you believed. But then you shook your head, stepping away. “You didn’t, Josh,” you said. “I’m fine.”

That night, the group decided to make a bonfire by the lake. The air was thick with laughter, the sharp scent of burning wood mingling with the sweetness of roasted marshmallows.

You sat with Hannah and Beth, listening as Chris tried to tell a ghost story that kept getting interrupted by Jess’s sarcastic commentary. Josh was across the fire, sitting next to Sam. He wasn’t touching her, wasn’t even looking at her, but it didn’t matter.

Your hair cascaded like Niagara under the firelight, your lips so soft—even if he had never felt them under his. Josh couldn’t stop looking at you. Your eyes glowed like an eternity, and your voice—when you laughed at something - it was the only antidote he’d ever had for all those sleepless nights.

He didn’t know how to fix this.

Didn’t know how to reach across the chasm that had opened between you since that stupid game of Spin the Bottle. And maybe it was selfish—maybe it was cruel—but he wanted you to look at him the way you used to. Like he was something worth believing in.

The fire burned low as the group began to drift off, one by one. Eventually, it was just you and Josh, the silence between you heavy and unspoken. “Shouldn’t you be with Sam?” you asked, your tone biting. Josh frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” you said quickly, standing. “I’m going to bed.” But before you could leave, his hand shot out, catching your wrist. “Wait,” he said, his voice urgent. You froze, refusing to look at him. “Can we just—” He hesitated, his grip loosening. “Can we talk?” You pulled away, your chest tightening. “Not tonight, Josh.” He didn’t stop you this time, and as you walked back to the cabin, you felt the weight of his gaze on your back.

Neither of you slept that night.

The stars were muted behind a veil of clouds, the air heavy with the promise of rain. The cabin was quieter now. Days of forced smiles and lingering silences had worn you thin, and tonight, you found yourself outside again, pacing the gravel path that led to the lake.

You didn’t mean to cry.

It started as an ache in your chest, spreading to your throat until the tears came unbidden, hot, and relentless. You wiped at them furiously, hating the way they betrayed you, but the anger only made it worse.

How could he be so blind?

You heard footsteps behind you, familiar and deliberate. You didn’t need to turn around to know it was Josh. “Go away,” you said, your voice raw.

He didn’t.

“Hey,” he said softly, his tone careful, like he was afraid you’d shatter if he spoke too loud. “What’s wrong?” You laughed bitterly, the sound hollow in the stillness. “You really have to ask?” Josh shifted, running a hand through his hair. “Look, if this is about—”

“It’s not about Sam!” you snapped, whirling to face him. “It’s about you, Josh. It’s always about you.” His brows furrowed, confusion flickering in his green eyes. “What are you talking about?” You threw your hands up, frustration spilling over. “Do you know what it’s like? To feel like you’re screaming into the void, hoping, praying, that someone will hear you? To love someone so much that it hurts, only for them to act like you don’t even exist?” Josh’s expression shifted, the confusion replaced by something deeper, something raw.

“I—”

“You don’t get it,” you interrupted, your voice breaking. “You never have. And maybe that’s my fault. Maybe I should’ve said something years ago, but I didn’t, and now... now I can’t even look at you without feeling like I’m suffocating.” The tears came harder now, and you didn’t bother to stop them. Josh took a step closer, his jaw tight, but he didn’t speak. “Say something,” you demanded, your voice trembling. “Anything.”

He didn’t.

The silence stretched, thick and suffocating, until you shook your head, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. “Of course,” you said, turning away. “Why did I even expect—” But before you could take another step, his hand caught your arm, spinning you back toward him.

And then he kissed you.

It wasn’t soft.

It was desperate, messy, like he was trying to say all the words he couldn’t find through the press of his lips. His hands cradled your face, grounding you even as the world seemed to tilt beneath your feet. For a moment, you froze, too stunned to move. But then your hands found his shirt, clutching the fabric like it was the only thing keeping you from falling apart. When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his breath uneven.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner. I’m sorry I made you feel like this.” Your chest ached, the anger draining from your body as quickly as it had come. “Josh,” you started, but he cut you off, his green eyes locking onto yours. “I don’t deserve you,” he said, his voice cracking. “I know I don’t. But you’re all I think about. You always have been.” The words broke something in you, and the tears came again, but this time, they weren’t born of anger or frustration. “Then why didn’t you say anything?” you asked, your voice trembling. “Because I’m a coward,” he admitted, a humorless laugh escaping his lips. “Because I’m an idiot who didn’t realize what he had until he almost lost it.” You stared at him, your heart pounding in your chest.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he said, his hands still framing your face. “I can’t.” You didn’t trust yourself to speak, so you did the only thing you could: you kissed him.

This time, it was softer, slower, filled with all the things you couldn’t put into words. And when you pulled back, his lips curved into a small, hesitant smile. “Does this mean you’ll stop avoiding me?” you asked, your voice shaking with a mix of laughter and tears. Josh chuckled, pressing another kiss to your forehead. “You'll start wishing I would."

The first low rumble of thunder rolled across the sky as you and Josh lingered, the sound so faint at first that you barely noticed it. But then it came again, louder this time, accompanied by a flash of light on the horizon, pulling you both from your kiss. You glanced up at the clouds gathering above, your chest tightening. Josh followed your gaze, a grin tugging at his lips. “You afraid of a little rain?” Before you could respond, the heavens opened up. The rain came in a sudden, torrential downpour, drenching you both in seconds. You yelped, the cold droplets soaking through your clothes as Josh let out a startled laugh. “Come on!” he shouted over the sound of the rain, grabbing your hand.

He led you up the path, past the cabin and deeper into the woods where a small gazebo stood, tucked beneath a canopy of trees. The structure was simple but charming, with its whitewashed beams and ivy creeping up the sides. Inside was a weathered but cozy couch, draped with soft blankets that someone—Hannah, probably—had left there.

You stumbled under the shelter just as another crack of thunder split the sky. The sound was deafening, but you couldn’t help laughing as you leaned against one of the beams, rainwater dripping from your hair and clothes. Josh stood across from you, his hands on his hips, his shirt clinging to his chest in a way that made your heart race all over again. His hair was a mess, dark strands sticking to his forehead, and yet he looked unfairly good—smiling at you like this was the best night of his life.

“Well,” he said, shaking water from his hair, “so much for staying dry.” You rolled your eyes, wrapping your arms around yourself. “You think?” He stepped closer, his grin softening into something warmer. “Here.” He reached for one of the blankets on the couch, shaking it out before draping it over your shoulders. His fingers brushed your arms as he adjusted it, and you shivered, though it wasn’t from the rain. “Thanks,” you murmured, your voice quieter now.

Josh sat beside you on the couch, his arm resting along the back as he leaned into the cushions. The rain pattered against the roof of the gazebo, a rhythmic hum that filled the silence between you. “You know,” he said after a moment, his voice low, “I kind of like this.” You glanced at him, eyebrows raised. “Getting caught in a thunderstorm?”

“No,” he said, chuckling. “Being here. With you.” You looked away, focusing on the rain streaking down the gazebo’s wooden beams. “Josh...” “Hey,” he said, his voice softer now. You felt his hand brush against yours, tentative, like he was testing the waters. “Look at me.” You turned to face him, your eyes meeting his. The rain softened the world around you, muting everything except the warmth in his gaze.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. It was just the two of you, sitting close on that old couch, the rain falling like a curtain around the gazebo. You could feel it, that familiar warmth creeping up within you, curling in your stomach every time Josh was near. Your heart thuds as his rough palm drags itself up your exposed thigh. Before you could stop yourself, the words rushed out of your mouth. “I’m a virgin!” Your face flushed a deep crimson as soon as the words left your lips, and you immediately covered your face with your hands in embarrassment.

Josh froze for a beat, his hand still resting on your thigh. You could feel his gaze on you, but you didn’t dare look up. And then, to your surprise, you heard him laugh softly, the sound low and warm. “Wait... really?” he asked, his voice filled with amusement but also something softer, something affectionate.

You peeked up at him, still hiding half of your face behind your hands, the flush on your cheeks deepening. “Yeah, really,” you mumbled, not sure whether you were embarrassed or relieved to finally say it out loud. Josh’s grin widened, and there was a playful glint in his eyes as he leaned a little closer. “I gotta admit, that’s a little... surprising.” He paused, his tone teasing but gentle. “But, hey, no rushing." Your heart skipped a beat at the thought of him being your first. You nodded, your eyes searching his face, still unsure whether to be embarrassed or... maybe a little proud?

His hand gently moved from your thigh to rest on your knee, his thumb brushing over your skin in slow, reassuring circles. “Don’t be embarrassed,” he said quietly, his voice soft. “I'm not trying anything unless you want to.” You looked up at him, meeting his gaze, and found only kindness there— no teasing, no judgment, just understanding. And somehow, that made everything feel a little easier. "I do want to... you know.." The words won't come out. “Still,” you muttered, “it’s... kind of awkward, don’t you think?” Josh chuckled, that warm smile never leaving his face. “Don't think so” he said, his voice low and serious now, “if you’re gonna share something like that with anyone, I’m glad it could be me."

You nod, scooting closer to him, palms now flush on his chest. his eyes scan your every inch, and you try to look away, but he captures your lips into another kiss. his lips trail down to your neck with a low "can I?" And you hum, trying your best to stay quiet as you get used to the feeling.

in no time, you're under him, both entangled, half naked and out of breath. he finally pulls off your panties, tossing them to the floor as he spreads your cunt wide open with two of his fingers, and god, you looked so erotic, all shying away as he loomed over, fingers playing with your pussy. "You ever touched yourself like this before?" You nod, bottom lip captive between your teeth. "J-just a little..." Oh, god. "You're so beautiful, fuckㅡ" And he's already losing his mind. Nights of fantasizing couldn’t have prepared him for this.

placing his palm behind your knee, he lifts up your legs, laying light pecks onto the plush of your thighs, thumb now tracing down to your puffy clit. Josh starts slowly, swirling his finger and still kissing your soft flesh. "Thank you for letting me do this." tracing the entrace with his index, he pushes his finger slow and deep inside, and you arch against him. this was it. he was where all of his dreams led him to. you looked like something straight out of a 80's porno. cunningly, josh moved his finger, and before you knew it he added another one. you squeezed perfectly around his digits, the sounds you and your pussy made driving him to the brink. "You hear that?" he asks, curling up his fingers, the wet sounds amplifying. "don't think I've ever had a pussy this wet before..." you whimper ans wrigle under his hold. "Josh.."

"What? It's the truth." he chuckles, speed picking up, his other hand now flush to your lower belly. "Want you to come. Can you do that for me?" he looks up, doe eyes searching for yours, and you can already feel your body convulsing. it didn't take long for you to finally give in and gift him what he asked for, coming just from his fingers. the way you thighs squeezed together, trapping his hand between them, soft pleads dripping from your lips like honeyㅡ he was done for. you were embarrassed, to say the least, hiding your face into his shirt he had taken off long ago. "Stop that, heyㅡ look at me, baby." Baby. did you just come again? "You did great. so good." he leans in over you, pressing a soft kiss on the bridge of your nose. "Do you wanna keep going?" and you say the most eager 'yes' known to man. "i got you." he smiles, eyes tracing every curve of your body. he takes off his pants along with hus briefs, letting his shaft spring free, small pearls of precum already gathered at the tip.

your eyes opened. what the fuck? is that normal? you knew your first would hurt, but seeing what Josh had going on for him you knew it would be the most painful experience for you yet. "Don't worry. I'll go slow." he stumbles a bit back, grabbing a hold of his trousers, palming his pockets before he mutters a soft 'there we go.' and takes out a shiny wrapperㅡ a condom. the opens it and carefully takes it out, lining it with the tip of his aching cock. "If you ever wanna stopㅡ" he start, whilst rolling the condom down his length. "Tell me. Yeah?" you nod.

taking his length into his fist, Josh pumps it a few times before he aligns it with your entrance that trickled with juices. he lets it slip in, and your eyes close as tears threaten to fall. you claw at his back, but Josh kisses you as he slides in some more, your walla wrapping perfectly around himㅡ just like it was meant to be. "It's okay, you're okay, baby."

after going in the last couple of inches, he starts to move, gently holding down onto your waist as he lets you adjust. "Doing so food for me."

just a few strokes after he feels you wrapping your legs around his hips, urging him deeper. "Please.." You plead, the sweetest sounds escaping your plump and swollen lips, and he swears he could come just by that. "Fuck, yeah, okayㅡ" he groans, with the way your teary eyes stared up at him. He starts to move his hips, harder, deeper, each sound you made an encouragement. His palms make his way under your back, pulling you up, almost to sit on his lap. He fucks up into you, your arms lazily draped over his flexed shoulders whilst his lips kiss soft blooms onto your chest. you clench around him. "J-Josh..." he shakes his head, laughing as his fingers dig deep into your flesh where you know bruises will appear later. "Don'tㅡ ha, I'm gonna come if you keep doing that." whines slip past your lips as his speed picks up. "Shit, shitㅡ" he pulls you closer, lips now stuck to your neck like a locket. "Y-you gonna come?" he prys. "Mhm.." you squeal as your eyes roll back. "Go ahead, for me." that's all it took. you come once again, nimbly wrapping around josh like a vine, walls squeezing him so tight. your mind goes blank, only soft moans gripping your throat as Josh pumps into you, finally releasing inside of the condom with a few thrusts.

you both breathe heavily, hearts beating in a sing-song, as you come down from your high. realization sets in as you meet each other's gaze. it was real. it really just happened.

"You okay?" he leans in, pressing a lazy kiss onto your lips. "Yeah... How okay can one be after having sex for the first time..?" and he laughs, playing with the strands of your hair. "Thank god for the rain covering the sound. You were super loud just thenㅡ"

"Josh!"

[gothghostiie]

replaying some of mwii and price saying "slow and steady" has given me price teaching babysitter!reader how to suck cock brain worms

cw: oral/handjob (reader giving), Virgin/inexperienced! reader, implied age gap, facial, corruption kink if you squint, gn!reader

you're so fucking inexperienced, it almost makes him feel bad for getting as hard as he does when you look at him with those pretty eyes. you look at him with trust and admiration, his baby on your hip making it even worse. he wants to grab you, kiss you, manhandle you, fucking hell, if he could he'd press you face down into his pillow and take your innocence right then and there. but he had to go to some spontaneous meeting, he had to fucking leave you. he stays strong, smiling at you and ruffling your hair as he leaves. "behave, yea? both of ya." he says with a wink, your giggle making his cock twitch.

once in the car and on the road he's really debating jacking off so he doesn't have to go into the meeting with a boner, maybe it would even help him later so he doesn't get painfully hard the moment you say hi to him when he's back. he ultimately decides against it, he's a grown man for fucks sake, he needs to control himself. so he goes through the meeting, it gives him some distraction, at least until he's back in the car. it's already dark when he's coming back, quietly unlocking the door. he prays you're asleep so he can just put a blanket over you and let you sleep, but you're awake. you smile brightly as he comes in, a soft "hi Mr. Price!" coming from your lips.

"John." he corrects in a stern but gentle voice, taking off his jacket, it makes you chuckle.

"I'm sorry, John." you say in a teasing tone, sometimes he wonders if you really are this innocent or if you just act like it. but god, if he wasnt as stressed as he was from the god damn meeting his cock would already be hard again. he just sighs and drops on the couch next to you, head fallen back and body slack. you tilt your head with a frown. "whats wrong?" the words make his heart flutter.

"just stressed, is all. dont worry your little head, love." he murmurs, reaching out to gently pat you on the head. you hum a bit.

"is there anything i can do to help you relax?" you ask, his mind immediately down the gutter. he suddenly wants to tell you all the nasty things he wants to do to you, shove your face into his crotch to make you nuzzle his cock, but he just stares at the ceiling for what feels like hours before looking at you. he opens his mouth to speak, but the look on your face makes him stop. your eyes are wide and glued to the bulge in his jeans, your mouth hanging open. his cheeks turn pink in embarrassment, he fumbles with his words.

"bloody hell - fuck, 'm sorry, I-" he pauses as he looks at your face properly. the shock isnt mixed with disgust as he initially thought, oh no. it's the opposite. you look curious, almost intrigued. he holds his breath as you make eye contact, then asks quietly. "do you want to help?" he asks, voice low and husky, filled with anticipation and a bit of fear of rejection. "you don't have to, if you don't wanna." he says gently, making sure you don't feel forced.

"i.. I never.. did anything.." is all you can get out, voice tinged with embarrassment. despite already being very sure you're a Virgin he's still mildly surprised to hear you say it, eyebrows raising a bit.

"I can teach ya. if you want." you hesitate for just a second before nodding, his heart skips a beat.

"okay.." you say softly. he has to take a moment before he nods softly, hands going to his belt and trying to not just rip it open.

"I'll just show you, so you can get familiar with him, yea? if you wanna stop at any point you tell me. understood?" his tone is serious, he waits until you nod before letting his fat cock spring free, slipping his pants and underwear down just enough so you see his heavy balls. your face heats up, mouth dropping open again as you stare at it, the tight balls, the angry, red tip, all have been begging for release for hours, and finally they'll get it. he waits until you seem a bit more composed before reaching his hand to you. "gimme your hand darling." he orders gently, you put your hand into his. your skin feels like heaven under his calloused fingers, even better as he wraps it around his trembling cock. he groans, squeezing your hand as he holds it in place; your fingers can't even fully wrap around it. it twitches eagerly, tip weeping as he guides your hand up and down slowly. low moans escape his lips, eyes lidded as he holds back. "you okay bird?" he pants, his voice a bit more rough than usual.

you nod, your trembling hand slowly moving at your own pace, watching intently. it makes him chuckle, letting go of your hand and putting it on your head, petting you as a silent praise. "doin well, love. keep going for me, yea?" he murmurs, you nod again. his tip starts leaking precum, you bite your lip. "don't do that. your lips are so pretty darlin." he frowns, his own words burning the image of your lips wrapped around his dick into his brain. he hesitates before speaking again.

"want to try sucking it?" he asks gently, your eyes widen. you hesitate again, his hand cups your cheek softly. "don't worry. I'll help ya."

"..okay." you say, taking a breath. his hand slides to the back of your head, guiding you closer - kissing your forehead before guiding you down.

"open your mouth nice and wide. watch your teeth." you open up wide, tongue sticking out a bit, he guides you down just so the tip is in your mouth. "wrap your lips around it." you follow his order and he groans, straining to not cum right this second. he takes a breath before speaking again. "now suck a bit. start gently and slowly do more. run your tongue over it too." he instructs in a soft murmur. "it might taste a little funny." you suck softly and lick the tip, making a face and pulling back. he laughs, patting your head softly. "I warned you darling. that bad?" he grins as you lick your lips.

"no... just.. surprised me.." you admit in embarrassment, taking a deep breath before dipping your head and trying again. this time you don't pull back, John's hand rests on the back of your head as he breaths heavily.

"good job, sweetheart... thinking you can try bobbing ya head a bit?" his jaw is slack, eyes rolled back when you actually do it - way too fast and too deep for your first time. as much as he loves the feeling of his tip hitting the back of your throat, the immediate gag and your face scrunching up in discomfort break his heart. he grabs your head firmly but not roughly, pulling your head up just enough to make you look at him. "don't do that. who taught you that?" he asks sternly, you shrink a bit under his gaze.

he hums. "try again. do it slow and steady." he says lowly, the tone making you shiver. you nod softly, letting him push you down much, much slower, letting him guide your head as your lips wrap around his cock again. "there we go. just like that, bird." he groans, already closer than he wants to be. he slowly guides it deeper into your warm mouth, your adorable attempts at using your tongue making his tip leak again. it doesn't take long before his hips stutter. "fuck... gonna cum, angel..- " he grunts, voice strained as he pulls you back, free hand wrapping around the base of his cock to steady himself as he cums all over your face. you gasp loudly, eyes shut tied and mouth open in shock as the warm, sticky liquid hits your skin. his moans quickly turn into chuckle as he sees the state of you. "aw, sweetheart, are you alright?" he cackles, shaking his head.

still chuckling he reaches to the coffee table and grabs a tissue, wiping your face off quickly before pulling you to his chest, kissing your head. "there you are, good job darlin. you okay?" he asks again, rubbing your back as you nod. "good... I'll get you a cup of water."

───── ⋆⋅Taglist⋅⋆ ─────

@captainchrisstan @maplewhisk

[lexirosewrites]

I might b getting a cold tht is making me tired but I have a single idea I wanted to send in before I succumb

O!Steve is the God of Children & Protection, his temples r often safe havens for orphans or run aways, first time mothers pray both to O!Joyce the Goddess of Parenthood & War AND Steve the God of Children & Protection for an easy delivery & a healthy child

Steve loves walking hidden behind a glamor among mortals, especially on his festival days, he takes many forms but enjoys running with other young children as if he is one of them, his statues & mosaics & paintings depict him most often as a youthful omega with broad shoulders & eyes like stars wearing a type of clothing tht is worn by children till they come of age

It is on one of his festival days tht he meanders into the city of Hawkins from the woods as if he is a traveler come to give offerings to his own temple, he walks the streets enjoying the sounds of children laughing as they receive free treats & new toys from the priests & priestesses of every temple but especially his, one child runs into him & he stops them from apologizing by pulling out from seemingly thin air something the child had wanted but wasn't being offered among the toys, a book of mathematics. The child is gleeful & when he looks up from the book to thank the stranger (Steve) he is gone. Several more children end up getting gifts directly from Steve throughout the day, an older brother gets a slingshot while his little sister gets a sweet treat not offered at any of the stalls, a red headed girl is given a board of wood crafted w 4 wheels to replace the one she'd broken by accident (she never told this traveler abt her broken board) & her friend who's a resident of Steve's temple is gifted a necklace of finest carved wooden beads after Steve winks at her when she almost blows his cover after immediately seeing beyond his glamor. A timid boy w an unfortunate haircut is given drawing tools & materials. A snarky boy who reminds Steve of a huntress he once loved is gifted a book of various stories from around the land while his much younger sister clutches the cat doll Steve gives her tht she promptly names Cheese.

There's great fanfare as the festival reaches its main event, Steve is curious since every village/town/city does something different for this event. The city of Hawkins puts on a story contest each year tht is judged by the children's response. This year someone steps up last to tell their tale who Steve instantly recognizes as not mortal. This person's tale is decidedly dark & scary & it details some sort of future wherein the God of Children & Protection is to submit to the God of Darkness & Monsters who oversees the world of the monsters & shadows & forced to become his wife. The temple objects loudly to this tale, shouting tht Steve is a virgin God who swore off marriage & courtship & mating when a foolish mortal huntress played w his heart hundreds of years ago, to which the stranger responds he is merely telling the tale of what he wanted, a tale he will make true no matter what it'll take & when the ppl try to get the stranger to leave the stage the stranger suddenly begins to morph & change shape till he towers above the crowd with horns like a crown, claws instead of fingers & alpha fangs larger than is possible.

This is Vecna the God of Darkness & Monsters who is said to never leave his domain of shadows. He proclaims he will lay low the temple tht houses the orphans & run aways of the city & nearby villages tht he will even slaughter the children if he must till Steve appears to him & comes w him as his bride

Steve is abt to reveal himself & jump to protect the children the God is aiming to swipe his claws at when a man runs forward from the crowd brandishing a string instrument tht he uses to knock away the attempted attack, this man then also morphs & changes. The man is now crowned w a wreath upon his head tht reveals him to b a God tht had newly arrived to their land whose cult was still growing without any temples or altars, he has no name tht the humans or others in the Pantheon know, simply taking up the epitaph of the God of Indulgence & Storytelling. This new God bares his own Alpha fangs & declares he would not sit idly by while such a God of Monsters told a tale only meant to scare another into submission.

Then it is pandemonium as a clash btwn Deities begins. The ppl r evacuating the area, many adults prioritizing the children while Steve's temple is also cleared of ppl & Steve feels an anger simmering in his stomach tht boils over when he sees the boy tht he'd given the mathematics book to trip over a rock & begin calling desperately for his mother as she's swept away by the tide of panicking bodies. It explodes when he sees the boy with the slingshot carrying his sister on his back trying to help the mathematics boy up & away. Then Steve cannot contain himself as the little girl who he gave a doll is clutching it & crying as she has also clearly lost her family in the chaos & is does not know where to go.

Steve is charging forward shedding his glamor & pulling from within his clothes a long metal weapon w sharp spikes at the tip. He cuts short an attempted swipe from Vecna aimed at the stomach of the other Deity tht jumped to the children's defense. The alpha God snarls & finds himself out numbered. He continues to fight on two fronts for four days & four nights till Steve calls upon the leader of the Pantheon to intervene in Vecnas disregard for his banishment. Vecna tries to grab Steve around the wrist as he begins to retreat to his world of shadows & monsters but the new God intervenes again as the sky rumbles w the approach of Hopper the God of Justice & Storms, essentially breaking Vecnas own wrist. Then Vecna has retreated & Steve's ire is cooling as he turns to see the destruction wrought by a clash of Deities.

The mortals seem to all b safe, especially the children. The temples r untouched but other buildings have been felled. Steve turns to thank the other God for interfering when he did, but he finds this new God sunk to the ground clutching at a wound on his stomach. Steve is at his side as a grim faced Hopper descends with a furious Joyce at his side, Steve is afraid to touch in case the wound is made worse. This new God's condition begins to worsen till Murray the God of Politics & Love appears with little fanfare telling Steve to simply hold him & let this alpha God scent him.

Steve feels a deep pull within him at Murray's words & as he gathers this new God within his arms he feels a warm light blooming wherever they touch. As Steve cradles his head near his neck the scent he exudes causes a response from the other & when they pull apart to look at eachother without the threat of battle all wounds r healed. Without thought the God of Indulgence & Storytelling then tells Steve his name, Eddie.

Eddie asks to court Steve without a thought to the Deities & gathering mortals around them. Steve heartily agrees.

Hundreds of years from tht battle art depicts Steve the God of Children & Protection embracing his husband & consort Eddie the God of Indulgence & Storytelling

OH YES DELIGHTFUL🥰🥰🥰

[fanfictiongirlie]

Marvel: I Have A Proposal For You

Parings: Steve Rogers x Reader

Description:

Reader has no luck with me her own age, they're useless and never put the effort in to make her cum, Steve offers to help her.

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Smut, Older Man/Younger Woman, Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin

Words: 4,521

So I'm in a bit of a writing rut on my series, so I thought I'd write a quick little smut with Stevie rather than stress over my series. Hope you enjoy <3

You huff loudly as you walk into the Avengers kitchen at 1am, you didn't expect anyone to be awake, but of course with so many people living under one incredibly large roof, there was. Steve sat inside at the kitchen breakfast bar, drinking his small glass of whiskey. 

"I hate men" You snap, huffing again as you lean against a counter, you hadn't said it specifically to Steve, you just needed to get it out, you had been thinking it for a while. A hour to be exact. 

Steve watched as you walked into the kitchen, he noticed your annoyed demeanor and stands up, walking closer to you. 

"What's up?" He asked, his blue eyes on you, worried something bad had happened. 

"Men" You mutter "Well, specifically men my age, they're useless...I went out tonight, ready to party and have some fun, and went home with this guy, he didn't even make me cum! But when he was finished, he just rolled over and went to sleep!" You ranted, your thoughts thinking over the events of the night again, this was the last time you'd ever have a one night stand with a random man. They were useless. 

Steve stood listening intently as you ranted, a small smirk forming on his lips as you continued vented. 

"He just rolled over and went to sleep? Just like that?" He asked, he was leaning against the opposite kitchen counter now, his arms crossed over his chest, his muscles maybe distracting you just a little. 

"Just like that!" You yell, you then notice the small redness over Steve's cheeks. "Oh...Steve, I'm sorry, I'm sure you don't want to hear about my pathetic sex life" You say, feeling a little guilty. 

Steve chuckles at your words, he took a step closer to you. 

"It's okay. I don't mind listening to you rant. So, tell me more. This guy, how old is he exactly?"

"My age...well, twenty-three, so a year older than me" You answer, rolling your eyes at the thought of the guy again. At least he didn't finish inside of you...you kept telling yourself. 

"And he didn't even make you finish, that's a little rude" Steve sighed, that smirk forming on his lips again. 

"I'm telling ya, men my age are useless" You huff pushing yourself off the counter and taking a few steps away from the area. "Guess I'll go to bed, sort it out myself"

Steve notices the disappointment on your face as he watched you move. He couldn't help but feel a pang of annoyance, not just at the way that guy had treated you, but at the thought of you having to 'sort it out' by yourself. 

"Wait a second" The words formed in his mouth before his brain even finishing thinking them. A idea coming to his head. You stop walking and turn to look at him. 

"Yes?" You ask. Steve then pushes off the kitchen counter he was leaning on and walks over to you, standing an arms length away from you. His eyes fixated on yours as he stood in front of you. 

"Can I ask you a question?"

You smile up at him and nod. "Of course"

Steve stood another step closer to you, shorting the distance between you both, he held your gaze as he asked his question on his mind. 

"If there was a way to...'solve' this problem of yours right now, would that be something that would interest you?" He asks, his voice low and husky. The breath within you was suddenly caught in your throat. You looked him up and down quickly, wondering if you were dreaming...your crush on the older man was something you'd had for a while, not that anyone knew. He was a lot older than you, so naturally you never thought he'd like you. 

"And...how would you 'solve' my problem?" You ask cooly. Steve obviously noticed your lingering gaze, he could see the flicker of curiosity within your eyes as you looked at him. His heart rate picked up a bit as he watched your reaction, your cheeks had a slight red tint to them, and your tongue darted out to lick your lips, your eyes never straying from his. He leaned in a bit closer to you as he spoke quietly to you. 

"Well, I have an idea" 

"Yes?" You ask breathlessly. 

Steve continued to observe your face, noticing the slight change in your breath as you spoke. He leaned in a little closer, stepping closer, your bodies almost touching now. 

"You said that the guy you were with didn't...make you finish, right?" He asked, his voice soft and low as he spoke. 

"He didn't" You answer quietly as you look up at him, his eyes sparkling down as he looks at you. You lick your lips again, your body feeling weaker and weaker as he spoke. You could guess what he meant, you hoped you were right in your thoughts. The feeling in your lower stomach was strong, the need and want for him growing. 

"So you're all...pent up and unsatisfied, right?" Steve asks, he noticed your slight irritation at the fact that the guy didn't make you feel good. He felt annoyed on your behalf, but quickly he pushed that thought aside. You nodded, your eyes still on his, though you felt as if your eyes had a glaze of lust over them with how you were feeling right now. 

"And you don't want to have to 'take care' of it yourself, right?" He asks, his voice lower and lower with every word. 

"No" You answered quietly. 

He held your gaze for a moment longer before speaker, his voice becoming a bit more huskier. 

"In that case...I have a proposal for you" 

"Yes?" You asked, your body tingling as you thought about the things he could do to your body. He took another step closer, if that were possible, you were touching now, hips to hips. He looked down at you, a hint of a smirk on his face. 

"I can...'assist' you with taking care of that problem, if you'd like"

"I'd really, really like that" You whisper, Steve had lowered himself slightly, so your faces were close now. Close enough that if you just moved forward slightly, you'd be touching noses. You could smell his cologne he was so close, it only added to your current state. 

"Then I'd be happy to 'assist' you, sweetheart" 

"Please" You almost whimpered. You cursed to yourself in your mind for sounding so pathetic. Steve smirked and gently raised a hand placing it under your chin, tilting your face up to look at him more intently.  

"So eager...I like that" He whispers, the breath from his words touching your lips in a way that makes you feel almost feral, ready to take him, let him have you however he wishes. The urge to please him bubbles up inside you, and usually you'd maybe feel embarrassed, but not today, not with Steve. You nodded pathetically, his fingers still having a hold on your chin as you move. 

"Please Steve, I am"

"Don't worry...I'll make you feel good, I'll take care of you"

"We...we should go to one of our rooms" You whisper, hating yourself for breaking the wonderful moment between the two of you, but having another Avenger walk in on you was not on your bucket list. He nodded in agreement, his eyes roaming over your face, he wraps an arm around your waist, holding you close, leading you towards the hallway. 

"Let's go to mine"

"Okay" You say softly, letting him lead you completely. Steve kept his arm around your waist as he led you down the hall to his room. As he pushes the door open, he guides you inside, closing the door and locking it afterwards. 

"Fuck, can't believe we're doing this" You whisper, almost in awe at one of your fantasies coming true. Steve couldn't help but chuckle at your comment. He led you over to the bed, guiding you to sit down before standing in front of you. You looked up at him, enjoying the sight of him. 

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I promise I'll make you feel good" He says with a sweet smile. You nodded, and returned the smile hoping he'd understand you were willing to put your entire trust onto him. He must of because he smile widened and he began to unbutton his shirt, he pulled it off his body, revealing the muscles underneath.

"Wow" You whispered out-loud. You looked up over his body, your mouth watered at the slightly of his muscles and naked torso. He chuckled softly and began unbuttoning his trousers as well, keeping his eyes on your face as he dropped them down to the ground. He down stood in front of you with just his boxers covering his skin. 

"You like what you see?" He asks, and your eyes were no longer on his, now looking at the large bulge in front of your face, trapping within the confinements of his boxers. 

"God...yes...so much" You say with a slight smirk, you moved your hands from your lap and onto his hips, your fingers hooking just under his boxers. You heard Steve's breath hitch as you touched his skin. 

"Someone's eager..." He teased, his voice a bit hoarse. 

"Shut up" You answered as you slowly pulled his boxers down his toned legs. He let out a soft chuckle.

"Eager and rude" He said, still teasing you. 

"You have no idea" You mutter, you were eager, for him. You pulled his boxers all the way down, his already hard cock bounced free from his boxers and slapped against his stomach. His boxers were now pooled down at his feet, and his cock stood to attention in front of your face, your stomach fluttered at the sight, he was large...Larger than you'd had before, but not only did he have ample length, he was thick...You could imagine how full you'd feel with it inside of you, you squeezed your legs together, feeling excited. 

"God Steve, you're beautiful" 

"Beautiful huh? You think I'm beautiful?" He asked, his voice a bit huskier than before. 

"So much, god, I know this was originally about me finishing...But can I put my mouth on you?" You ask, your mouth watering at the thought of tasting him. Your eyes flicker up to his momentarily as you ask your question. 

"Go ahead sweetheart" He answers, his cheeks were flushed a little red now. It was enough to make you feel giddy. You moved your hands first, taking his hardness in your hand, it was just larger than both of your hands wrapped around it. You left one hand wrapped around his cock, close to the base as you moved forward, licking his head experimentally. Steve's breathing got heavier as you completely wetted the head of his cock. 

Closing your eyes you really got into it, taking his tip into your mouth, moaning softly at his taste, he tasted clean, fresh, unlike so many men you had been with. You expertly moved your hand up and down his length whilst taking as much of his cock into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you suck. Your eyes were wet, small tears were streaming down your cheeks, he must of noticed because one of his hands moved to wipe them. Steve was moaning loudly now, he had moved one hand to your head, softly holding you, guiding you but not forcing you down. You would of smiled if your mouth wasn't busy, even in moments like this, he was ever the man with the manners. 

You moved your mouth a little faster, your jaw had started to ache slightly, but you didn't stop, until his hand moved down to your throat, stopping your movements, you pulled off from him and looked up at him through your wet eyelashes. 

"Why'd you stop me?"

"I didn't want to come before you darling" He whispers.

"Oh" You say quietly, he was perfect "Let me level the playing field and we'll continue" You smirk, standing up from the bed, you lift the dress you were wearing off your body, throwing it somewhere random in the room. Steve lets out a low breath as he watched you. You watched as he swallowed, his eyes fixed on your body. 

"Damn, you're just...wow" 

Your smirk only continues to plaster over you face as you take your underwear off, leaving you completely bare to him. He couldn't take his eyes off you, his eyes traveled up and down your body, taking in every inch of your naked form. 

"You're absolutely perfect, sweetheart. You're so goddamn beautiful"

"Kiss me" You whisper, interrupting his rambles. Steve heard your whispered request and immediately he leaned down so he was level with you. He placed his hands on your hips and pulled you against him, and pressed forward pressing his lips to yours. His lips explored your mouth hungrily, his tongue parting your lips and sliding against yours as he kissed you. 

You sighed happily into the kiss, smiling against his lips, your naked bodies pressed together whilst you snaked your hands up from his shoulders into his luscious blonde hair. He let out a quiet moan into your mouth, he let his hands wander your body, exploring every inch and curve of your skin as he continued to kiss you with fervor. 

"God, I can't take it...need you" You mumbled against his lips. 

"I need you too, sweetheart. I need you so damn badly"

You moved your hands from his hair down to his hips, holding him as you walked backwards, guiding him to follow you, when the back of your legs hit the bed, you fell down onto it, smirking up at him. Steve followed you, hovering his body over yours. His lips move onto your body, whilst his hands held onto your hips as his lips worshiped you. 

He continued to trail kisses down your body, his lips moved over your skin so delicately, exploring and worshiping every inch of you. He took his time, wanting to make sure you savored the sensation, letting his hands also roam across your body, caressing and touching you in all the right places. 

"Mmmm Steve...oh...that's so nice" 

He carried on kissing you and touching you, listening closely to every small noise and whimper you would let out. He paused for a moment to look up at you, a smirk on his face. 

"You that that, sweetheart? Like my hands on you, my mouth on you?"

"So much" You whimper quietly as you look down at him. 

He smiled as you answered him, obviously enjoying the effect he was having on you, the way you were responding to him, the way you were reacting to his touch. He continued to kiss and gently suck at the skin of your breasts, as one hand moved to touch your nipple, playing with it in between his fingertips. 

"You're so beautiful, you know that? So goddamn beautiful..." He mumbled against your skin. 

"Steve, I need you...need more" You begged, your senses were overwhelmed with a need for him. You shivered as he moved one hand down your body, his fingertips trailing against your skin as he moved, his eyes were still locked on yours as he mouths your skin, his fingers moved down in between your legs finally touching you were you needed it most. 

He expertly moved his fingers in between your wet folds, dragging your wetness from your hole up to your clit, he slowly circled two fingers over your clit as his lips moved up to your collarbone, sucking a small mark into your skin. You moaned loudly, moving your hands to grip his arms as you spread your legs further for him. 

Steve knew exactly where you needed him to touch, and he was more than happy to provide it. He moved two fingers away from your clit, and you were ready to whine at the lost of contact, but he soon made up for it by pressing those two fingers inside of your wet hole, you gripped his arms tighter feeling your body shudder slightly at the new feeling, his fingers were thick, and felt amazing within you. You grind your hips against his fingers slightly, only grinding harder as his thumb pressed against your clit, the little bundle of nerves shooting electric throughout your body. 

"Oh...wow...Steve...jeez, you're good with your fingers" You moan out in a whisper. 

He chuckled, his lips still on the skin of your chest, he smirked, obviously feeling a bit proud of his skills with his fingers. 

"You like that, huh? Like how I'm making you feel with my fingers?"

"Yesss!" You whined as he pumped his fingers faster into you. His fingers didn't slow as he kissed lower, his lips trailing down your torso and down past your stomach. He continued to kiss you, moving his mouth lower and lower, his goal becoming more and more clear as he approached where his thumb was. 

"Oh! Yes! Steve!" You whined loudly, feeling your body close to it's edge. You body shuddered hard as his mouth replaced his thumb against your clit, he sucked hard and kept his fingers moving at a fast pace, you body shook as he brought you to your finishing point, you came hard around his fingers and over his face, he didn't slow his movements, moaning softly against your wet skin as you grind against him. Your body shook in the aftermath of your pleasure, your legs closing around him. 

Steve looked up and smirked, his free hand moved to hold down your leg, making sure you kept them spread. You body trembled against him, you were still shaking slightly. 

"Don't close those legs, sweetheart. I'm not done with you yet"

"Fuck, I hope not"

He chuckled again, moving his lips back to your clit, he licked down towards his fingers, opening them slightly to slide his tongue inside of you, alongside his fingers. You moaned loudly, moving one of your hands to his hair, holding his head for support whilst your other arm flew to rest over your eyes, your mouth was wide open, strings of loud whimpers and moans never faulting as they left your lips. 

"Oh, don't worry, sweetheart. I'm nowhere near finished with you. I plan on taking my time with you" He says, his lips moving against your hole as his fingers move slowly inside and out, his tongue darting out every few words as he spoke, tasting your hole. 

"God...I'm yours" You whisper as your body shivers with excitement. You had forgotten about that loser of a guy from earlier in the evening. 

"Damn right you are. You're mine sweetheart. All mine" He spoke quietly, his eyes shut as he dives back in, his fingers began moving again at a past which made you feel dizzy. His mouth was over your clit as he sucked and licked, moaning as he tasted you. 

"Steve....oh...oh...oh my god" You moaned, becoming a moaning mess underneath him. You were shaking with pleasure as he made you come again, and again. You had a daze of happiness washing over you body as he crawled back up to you, he smirked and brought his lips down to yours, moving his wet lips against yours, you tasted yourself on him, not caring one bit. He moved one hand to cup your cheek, holding you so softly it made you feel fuzzy inside. You moved your hands to the back of his neck, holding him against you as you kissed. 

As you kissed Steve's hips rutted gently against your hip, his hard cock leaving a wet stripe of precum over your leg, you smiled into the kiss causing him to pull away and cock his head at you. 

"What's so funny?" He asks. 

"Nothing...What's...uhh your favourite position?" You asked, feeling a little bashful at the question, but after what he did to your body, you felt like he deserved his favourite position. 

"You really wanna know?" He asks, his cheeks flushing red slightly. 

"Please?"

"Well, my favourite position is usually missionary. Just being able to look at your face and see your eyes whilst I'm on top of you..." He said, almost bashfully. 

"Oh Steve, you sweetheart" You say, a soft giggle on your lips. 

Steve felt a smile on his face, he was so damn attracted to you. 

"What? Seeing your face as I'm on top of you watching your eyes as they close and your expression changes...it's quite a sight" He explains. 

"Well then, why don't we make it a reality" You say softly. 

"I was hoping you'd say that, sweetheart" He chuckles, moving slightly so he hovered over your body completely, his arms rested by the sides of your face and his cock trapped in between your stomachs. You moved your legs slightly, spreading them so he had space to slot in between them. Steve positioned himself a little, his eyes were all over your body, taking in your form as he moved a hand down to his cock, taking himself he lined himself up to your hole. 

He didn't push in yet, choosing to drag the head of his cock up and down your wet pussy a few times, causing you both to moan softly, he moved down to press his lips to yours, kissing you softly, almost savoring the touch and taste of your lips on his as he slowly pushed his cock inside of you. You'd be lying if you said it didn't hurt. It wasn't an awful pain, it was one you almost welcomed, the slight twinge of pain adding to your pleasure. 

"You okay, sweetheart?" He asks, his lips still on your as he spoke, neither of your eyes opened anymore. 

"So good, keep going" You answer, your legs were pressed to his hips, holding onto him as he finally pushed his entire hard cock inside of you. You had never felt so full, but feeling his entire length was beyond amazing, he was thick, thick enough that you could feel the veins of his cock against the walls of your pussy. You clenched around him a few times, causing him to groan loudly as he kissed you, you used the moment of his groan to slide your tongue into his mouth, losing yourself into him. You nodded slightly, hoping he'd know what you had meant. You needed him to move, needed him to pound into you like there was no tomorrow. 

Steve understood your meaning, his lips stopped moving against yours slightly as he concentrated on moving his hips, he slowly dragged himself out of you, leaving just the tip, the feeling alone causing him to feel close to his edge, he then moved his cock fully back into you, a few times, just to make sure you were both completely covered in wetness. Your hands were on his shoulders, nails digging slightly into his skin as his hips began moving. Slowly at first, but soon he picked up the pace. 

Steve's lips moved away from yours, kissing had been forgotten regardless, you both held your open mouths together, swallowing one another's moans rather than kiss. His lips moved to your neck, resting there as he slammed his hips into yours. The only noises in the room are those of both your moans and the loud slapping of his hips against yours. 

"Steve...m'close" You whine, your legs beginning to shake. Steve, who was sucking yet another mark into your skin moved one hand in between your bodies, moving it down so he could press to fingers to your clit, he messily moved against the bundle of nerves, helping to push you over the edge. 

You moaned loudly, gripping onto his shoulders as the pleasure ripped through you body, even with closed eyes your vision went fuzzy and spotted with black dots, you giggled softly as you came down from the high, Steve had slowed his thrusts, his face lifted to look at you, a large smirk on his lips. 

"You good, sweetheart?" 

"So good" You say with a light giggle, feeling over the moon with pleasure, your legs went slack against the bed, they jolted slightly with every thrust of Steve's cock. Steve's thrusts started becoming faster, his fingers no longer on your clit, which you were thankful for, feeling close to overstimulating, both of his large hands were on you hips as he held you tightly, his fingers leaving little imprints on your skin as he used your hips to thrust into you harder. Your hands were lazily on his shoulders, you moved them over his chest, feeling his muscles in your post haze state. 

"Come Stevie, come inside of me" You whisper, your voice trailing off slightly into another moan, his cock still stretching you perfectly. 

"Are...Are you sure, sweetheart?" He asks, his hips slamming into you messily. 

"Yes, wanna feel you" You whispered, clenching your pussy against him. 

"Fu..fuck" He groaned, you giggled slightly at hearing Captain America swear, you clenched your pussy again as he thrusted into you, his movements becoming messy and sloppy as he became closer to his edge. "Gon...gonna come...fuck!" He moaned loudly, slamming his hips into you once more, letting your pussy cover his cock completely as he buries himself into you, spilling his seed deep within you, he drops his head down to your chest, his sweaty forehead connecting with the skin in between your breasts. You move your hands to his hair, holding him as he lays there, obviously catching his breath. 

"Wow" You whispered. 

"Yeah, wow" He replied, his voice quiet as he pressed a kiss to your skin. 

After a few moments, Steve slowly removed himself from you, both of you wincing from the overstimulation, he then leaves the bedroom, only emerging from the bathroom when he had a wet flannel in hand. Steve smiled sweetly down to you as he washed your lower body of his seed, he kissed along your lower stomach as he did so. 

"You did so good" He whispers. 

"I did?" You ask, smirking down at him. 

"So good, I'm glad you liked my idea" He grinned, it took you a moment to realise what idea he was talking about, suddenly remembering the real reason this had happened between you both. 

"Yeah, well I think I'll be coming to you from now on, rather than a useless guy my own age" You answer with a smirk. 

"Good, because I meant it when I said you were mine" He answers, moving forward to kiss your lips. 

And finally you ended the night how you had wanted, in the arms of a man who knew how to make you feel good. And the fact that it was Steve's arms you were in, well that was just a bonus. 

(I do not consent my works to be posted anywhere else, by anyone other than myself.)

[beomiracles]

⌞ 𝐔𝐋𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 ⌝ TEASER

DREAM RECALL ⸝⸝ It didn’t occur to you that he might be dangerous, this mere stranger. No, you were too in awe of the fact that he was here, in your father’s home, a place no visitors were ever allowed. There was an actual breathing human being in your living room right now. — And this man, he looked nothing like those of your community, the ones who listened to your father preach about doom’s day. He didn’t look at all like someone who was meant to follow, but to lead. 

Your gaze lingers by the porcelain vase he clutches in his hand, then the worn out bag in his other. He looked alarmed, like you’d caught him doing something he certainly wasn’t supposed to. His dark eyes are wide, watching you expectantly, almost like he’s waiting for you to do something. — Tilting your head to the side, you peer at him through the darkness. He swallows. And you smile. 

“Are you going to steal that?” ⸝⸝

pairings — theif/stoner!taehyun x pristine/sheltered!reader warnings — um, well a lot! heavy cult elements, (reader's dad literally runs the whole cult), heavy manipulation, corruption, verbal abuse, naive!reader, toxic!taehyun, theft, smoking, substance abuse, drinking, loss of virginity, taehyun isn't a good person, (I don't know if he'll become good?? haven't gotten that far yet heh.)

1960s AU !!!!

#serene adds ✎.. *jumps up and down excitedly* I've been wanting to write this for two months now but I haven't had the time because things have gotten in the way BUT, now :3 — um this is not gonna be a happy fic ! (well it might have some fluffy scenes) but um, yes. also this is getting released after ttocbg !

the name isn't engraved in stone yet, but the fic is heavily inspired by the song ultraviolence by lana del rey, oh and I'm reading purple hibiscus for english class rn and I'm taking lots of inspiration from there too !

➤ RELEASE DATE, December 2024 (toward the end of the month probably)

estimated wc ... um no clue but, I know myself so, let's say 20k for now...

[scribefindegil]

Lorraine Baines McFly and Female Autonomy

Hello. I have spent the past month slowly losing my mind about Lorraine Baines McFly, Marty's mom in Back to the Future, so I am finally trying to articulate some of the reasons I'm so feral about her.

There's a quote from Lea Thompson, the actress who played Lorraine, that goes, "The three parts that women usually get to play are virgins, whores, and mothers, and in Back to the Future Part II, I got to play all three." While this is commentary on Hollywood and the limited roles that fictional women get forced into, I think it's also interesting to think about it in terms of how these roles are reflected onto actual women and used to limit their personhood and confine them to a very narrow range of acceptable behaviors . . . and then in turn to think about how the character interacts with these roles on a Watsonian level. They're affecting not just Lorraine the character as she was written, but Lorraine from an in-universe perspective trying to navigate life as a woman in a patriarchal world. Some of the sexism she faces is a deliberate narrative choice and some of it is a result of the writers' blind spots, but for the purpose of this essay I'm less interested in teasing out which threads are which and more in looking at it holistically.

Because the thing about Lorraine is that she's aware of what the acceptable roles and behaviors for women are, and the versions that we see of her across the various timelines alternately fight against and capitulate to these constraints. What is a woman allowed to be? How much is Lorraine willing to break from those restrictions? How much does she allow other women to break from them? Does she resent her role or embrace it? I have a lot of thoughts specifically about how the different iterations of her interact with concepts of female agency and autonomy.

(Putting this under a cut because it is. Long.)

I started thinking about this when I was talking with my partner about 50's Lorraine. She's extremely active and driven and planning to Get What She Wants (in a way that is very scary, if you are Marty) . . . but at the same time she's clearly aware that she isn't supposed to be. A Good Fifties Girl is demure and passive. Lorraine isn't--but she's still trying to toe the line. I think constantly about the scene where she shows up at Doc's garage to be like "I followed you home . . . so that I can ask you to ask me to the dance." The girl can embrace borderline stalking but she draws the line at directly asking a boy out! She's exercising a lot of agency but views doing so as rebellious and subversive--and risky.

And I also want to talk about the whole "boy crazy" thing because like . . . society (especially in the fifties) tells women that the most important thing they can possibly do is find a good man and become wives and mothers, that this will define the success or failure of their entire lives (and given how many things were unavailable to single women at the time this is in many ways true) . . . and then relentlessly mocks and punishes anyone who actually takes an interest in pursuing this instead of just sitting back passively and waiting. She is trying to do what society says will make her happy! And even her desire for a white knight is very much based in the reality of her situation! She's getting sexually harassed at school and around town and she's doing exactly what she's supposed to and standing up for herself and saying no and fighting back--and this is not enough. She does need backup! Biff harasses her in the middle of a crowded cafeteria and Marty is the ONLY person who does anything! No fucking wonder she latches onto him as hard as she does! (There's. I promise this is related but there's a BttF parody musical on YouTube where when Strickland comes to break up the lunchroom fight he says, "Now, I can excuse sexual harassment, but LIGHT SHOVING?" and like it's a haha funny joke but also?? Yeah?? That IS how it works. The way Lorraine's being treated is so overlooked and normalized that the authority figure isn't going to step up the way he will when it's a physical altercation between two guys. Screams.) I wonder if part of the reason she stuck with George in the original timeline even though they didn't have a lot in common is that "I have a boyfriend" is a boundary that some people might actually take seriously whereas "I'm not interested" is not.

But. In general 50's Lorraine is very much about grabbing as much agency as she feels she's allowed to . . . and then Twin Pines Lorraine is what happens when she regrets the result of those choices (because while we don't see it, it's pretty obvious that in the original timeline she pursued George as aggressively as she pursues Marty in the new one), and so she decides to deny, not just her own agency, but female agency as a general concept. She leans so heavily on the idea that her relationship was "meant to be" because it absolves her of any culpability in creating a life she's unhappy with. She's rewritten her own past to view herself as a passive participant in something inevitable. (Exactly the view of womanhood that she was fighting so hard against in the 50's!) And she extends this idea of female passivity to the women around her: telling Linda that she should sit back and wait and a relationship will "just happen," actively resenting Jennifer for doing something as simple as calling Marty on the phone. It's a really interesting form of internalized misogyny, perpetuating these sexist ideas as almost a misguided form of self-defense.

And then for Lone Pine Lorraine this is completely flipped! She loves Jennifer for the same reason she disliked her in Twin Pines: because she reminds Lorraine of her younger self. And like . . . this is something of an extrapolation, but while obviously her husband and kids are still very important to her, it also feels like she has interests and friends and other things going on in her life, whereas part of the isolation of Twin Pines is that her life has shrunk down to the point where she's ONLY a wife and mother with nothing else to define herself by. And it also matters that in this timeline she has a partner that supports her, not just in the big dramatic moments (although also that), but you can easily see the dance as a catalyst for George actually learning to listen to her and stand up for her about smaller things as well. George McFly feminism arc. (I'm being slightly facetious but like. George starts off kind of shitty. The spying is actively Bad and I hope Marty chewed him out for it offscreen, but also his reaction to the harassment scene being "I think there's someone else she'd rather go with," implying that he sees what Biff is doing as like. Normal flirting that he expects to work. He doesn't GET it. Unsurprising because he is. A teenage boy in the fifties. But I do believe that saving Lorraine was something of a wakeup call and after that he listened to her about things that make her uncomfortable and gave her the support that she needed. Which would also give her a lot more freedom in this timeline because she has someone with more societal power who has her back!)

And then. Hell Valley.

If Lone Pine is the version of Lorraine who has the most freedom, the most opportunities to make decisions based on what she wants instead of What Is Expected Of A Woman, Hell Valley is the opposite. The things denying her agency in Twin Pines is largely societal forces (and herself); in Hell Valley she is actively being denied autonomy by her evil husband who functions as the personification of a bunch of sexist ideas.

She's been objectified to the point that she doesn't maintain control over her own body; Biff pressures her to get cosmetic surgeries so she can continue to look attractive to him because that's the only value he sees in her. Her physical appearance is entirely tailored to his preferences.

Biff's view of Lorraine is wife-as-possession. He treats her like a prize he's won and her kids like parasites. And he is NOT subtle about this. But Lorraine is still desperately clinging to the idea that she's wife-as-family. She calls Biff "your father" to Marty when he arrives, and talks about "our children" because she wants so so badly for this to be something different than what it is. It's especially terrible because this is a timeline where she got seventeen years of being happy with George, she knows what she's missing, and she keeps trying to force this new relationship into a similar mold even though Biff is openly contemptuous of her and especially her kids. It's been twelve years and she's still trying to pretend. To call back to that Lea Thompson quote: it's obvious where Biff thinks Lorraine fits on the virgin-mother-whore axis, while Lorraine is actively trying to centralize her motherhood partially because the kids really are that important to her and partially as a defense mechanism.

(And it's also such a bleak cautionary tale about how fragile women's stability can be when they're dependent on their husbands; Lorraine was happy with George and had a fair amount of freedom, but he was the only one with an income so when he died she was suddenly forced into a truly horrific situation because she had no other means to support herself and her three young children. Especially given that the Hell Valley universe is also worse in some broader political ways that mean there were probably even fewer social supports available than in real life 1973)

And god. It kills me the way that we see her lash out, the way she's clawing for autonomy when she threatens to leave . . . and then exactly how Biff levels all his axes of control against her. It's very interesting that his first tactic is consumerist (Who will pay for all your things? Who will take care of you?) and that doesn't work even though not being able to support herself is a very real concern. It's only when he threatens her kids that she folds. And then she immediately crumples and pivots to rationalizing Biff's behavior and blaming herself for her own abuse (in a way that is both HEARTBREAKING and also? surprisingly sympathetic and realistic for an 80's movie?). It's similar to the passivity we see in Twin Pines, but here we see exactly where it comes from. She doesn't have any way out so she has to pretend. It's the only way she can keep going. She has these flashes of rage but they're immediately snuffed out by despair and denial.

There's not a lot of talk about Lorraine and what there is tends to reduce her to "well she's Marty's mom" as if she's a boring character who doesn't have a lot going on. But even though most of her role in the movies has to do with her relationships with the various men in her life, those relationships are really interesting if you actually pay attention to them! She's not just (in the 80's) a wife and mother--she's someone who has a complex relationship with marriage and motherhood and the societal expectations surrounding them. She's not just (in the 50's) a vapid boy-crazy girl--she's doing her best to go after what she wants in a world that doesn't want her to (the fact that one of the things she wants turns out to be her time-traveling son from the future is unfortunate but not something she has any way of knowing!). She's stuck in a society that doesn't want women to be people, and she knows this, and because we see her across two different time periods and three different timelines you can watch how sometimes society grinds her down until she gives in and tries not to be a person. And also how, sometimes, she fights back.

[jam3sacaster]

“I will never forget your touch. It will linger on me.”

(Rivals) Rupert Campbell-Black x Reader

Suggestion by a sweet anon 🫶🏽 / You’re incredibly nervous to pop your cherry, but Rupert comforts you throughout it all.

18+ FANFIC / SMUT from the offset and soft Rupert! 🥰 Reader character aged 21. My ask box is open again, so please request anything you wanna see 💋

Approaching the two week anniversary since you and Rupert Campbell-Black had made your budding relationship official, he had started to send subtle signs that we wanted you to be more intimate. A soft sweep of his palm across your bare thighs, a solemn whisper in your ear at night, a tight cuddle in bed, the imprint of his cock against your leg. Tonight, however, you were both curled up in bed. Rupert fixated on a monotonous documentary pictured on the screen of his ginormous 27” television, and you were flicking breezily through the women’s section of The Scorpion — uncaring of the numerous recipes, stories readers husbands infidelity and which colour palette you should choose based on your tan this coming season.

Rupert chuckled heartily at a spiritless joke on the telly and passed his right hand under the heavenly duck-feather duvet, stroking his fingertips over your thigh. He pulled back the covers gently to reveal your bed time outfit — a delicate white silk slip dress with intricate lace lining across the neckline. Your bare skin was bronzed and velveted, and hid made him groan in desire. “You have no idea how badly I want to be inside of you.” He muttered breathlessly, locking cerulean orbs with you. Raising your arched eyebrows, you bite your lip and kick the covers away from your feet. “I think I know. I want you too. I’ve just never…” You stutter, eyes clamping shut in embarrassment. For a man of such Lothario stature, you couldn’t believe he had fallen for you — autonomously virginal at twenty one years old. “I thought as such. I wish you’d have told me.” He replies, sensualised eyes softening.

“I’m just nervous. I wanted to save it for someone special, and that person is you but… I’m just nervous, Rupert.” You whisper, placing your palm over his on your thigh. He propped himself up on an elbow and watched as he moved his hand — fingers tracing complex patterns across the length of your leg. “We’ll take it step by step, I promise.” He reassures you, and you nod in consent. Steadily, he inched closer to kiss you — lips crashing in symphonic yearning, a collision of passion between two souls. Rupert pulled his tight white boxer shorts from his person and lay back on the bed, allowing you to marvel at his picturesque body, and marvel you did. Your mind could barely comprehend the magnificent structure that lay beside you. Pulling your own slip dress off with one swift move, Rupert took his turn to gawp at you. Taking a moment to consume the sight of your sizeable, bouncing breasts, your rounded hourglass figure, your shapely atheistic legs — truly the personification of Aphrodite. “Wow, angel. You look spectacular.” Rupert passionately breathed, fighting furiously the urge to take you there and then.

Crawling down to the foot of the bed, you lay between his legs, taking the length of his monumentally erect cock in your hands, stroking it softly and keeping your eyes fixed on his handsome groans. “What are you going to do with it, princess?” He teased, and you wasted no time in taking his tip into your mouth, swirling your tongue and allowing yourself to take him deeper into your throat. His pleasurable groans spurred you on evermore to increase your tempo, feeling yourself gag as you spit onto his cock, promptly rubbing it across his girth with your right hand. Rupert watched in absolute disbelief as his angel’s eyes darkened — signification that tonight would be a consequential change in your behaviour. Taking him into your throat again, hands by your side, you bob your head up and down violently, saliva escaping the sides your mouth desperately. Rupert’s abdominals tensed in ecstasy, but he cautiously backed away and brought himself to his knees.

“Bend over for me, angel.” He instructs, and you instantaneously do as your food, arching your back and presenting him with your bare arse, wet pussy glinting in the amber glow of the lamp and soft skin tantalisingly close to him. Teasing your glistening entrance with the swollen head of his cock, he slowly entered himself inside you — carnal lust overtaking his body as your vice gripped across his girth. You breathlessly, an intoxicating mixture of both pleasure and pain. “Please be gentle, Rupert.”

“Oh, don’t worry, angel. I’ll be gentle.” He reassures you, thrusting inside of you and alleviating his stress inside the primal heat of your cunt. Taking a firm hold on the voluptuous curves of your hips, he cannot help but land a firm smack on your arse, lips biting together at the sight of the reverberation of his brutish hand. “Fuck, Rupert.” You whisper, eyes ablaze with sexual gratification. Flipping you over onto your back, Rupert pins your legs over his shoulder, grabbing a firm handful of your tits as he continues his sexual barrage upon you. “You feel so good. Where do you want my cum?” He asks, and you take a careful moment to consider. “On my face.” You reply, a devilish smirk tugging at the corners of your lips.

Rupert cannot help but replicate your lustful grin. The inebriating aroma of his mannish aftershave filled your lungs as you curved your lips in relaxation, feeling every single passionate stroke inside you. “Get ready, angel. I’m gonna cum.” He warns you, thrusts become sloppy as he nears his release. Using his hand to guide his cock out of you, he leans over you, jerking himself with one hand as you look up at him with an expectant gaze. You moan alongside him and beg him for his sweet cum. “Please, Rupert, give it to me.”

Grunting accompanying every rope of hot cum, Rupert shot his load over your face — you giggling as you feel your eyelashes becoming heavy under the splashes. “Fucking hell, angel. You look incredible with my cum all over your face.” He grins, admiring the mess he had made over you. “I will never forget your touch. It will linger on me.” Rupert collapses beside you breathlessly as you scoop a glob of his cum from your chin, sucking at your finger greedily and rather pleased with your first performance.

[yuckqr]

sexy sorrys!! 18+

summary - youve liked dean for years, though when he finally tries to kiss you, you get cold feet (twice..) in an attempt to apologize, things get steamy in the shower !!! -`♡´-

warnings - smut (blowjob), virgin reader, masturbation, hot headed reader, explicit language

pairing - dean x female reader

6.3k words

a/n at the end ◡̈

once you guys arrived to the hotel, it was way past dark and it was thundering outside. you hated when the weather was like this, they both knew that. sam looked back at you as you guys pulled up to the front door, 'hey, look, you go inside and check us in, we can grab your things.' dean looked at sam in confusion, 'i never agreed to that?' he looked back at you and you shot him a dirty look. 'im just kidding, sweetheart, go inside. we gotchya.' you rolled your eyes and grabbed a sweater from the trunk to cover over your head. 'thanks guys,' you smiled at them and then sprinted out of the car to the front door, almost slipping. you felt like you could practically hear deans laughter at your clumsiness. as you got inside, you took the sweater off your head and went to the front desk.

'dont have an umbrella?' the desk attendant looked at you, judgement seeping through her seemingly kind demeanor.

'uhm.. yeah, no i dont.. uh, im here to check in for winchester? 2 rooms?' you draped the sweater around your shoulders and shivered.

'yes, do you have your ID?' she looked up at you.

'oh! uh, my friend signed it under his name, theyre outside grabbing the bags, theyll just be in in a second, can i just get the key?' you looked at her awkwardly. she glared at you.

'right.. so we cant give out the keys unless we see the ID of the person who checked out the room.. sorry.' she gave you a faux sympathetic smile.

'uh, theyre just outside, i promise, can i just get the key? im freezing, i just want to take a warm shower.' the agitation in your voice started to become noticable.

'miss, i already told you..' the doors swung open as the attendant started to lose her temper with you. her gaze averted from the supposed crazy woman standing infront of her, now turned to the handsome man holding four bags, two on each arm.

'excuse me..' dean said sweetly as he sat the bags down on the floor, 'im here to check in for the rooms under winchester?'

the attendant looked at him and smiled, her eyes full of that same look that every other girl gave him. the same look that gave you a pit in your stomach.

'oh, ofcourse!' she said sweetly, 'let me grab the keys.' you looked at her in confusion. 

'hey!' you said, your voice raising. 'you didnt ask him for his ID?' dean looked at you awkwardly as he put his hand around your waist and smiled at the attendant.

'excuse my...' he cleared his throat, 'girlfriend.' you looked up at him swiftly, your eyebrows furrowing. 'she was just given the news that her.. aunt passed away.. oh they were very close..' he nodded his head and closed his eyes as he squeezed onto your shoulder, 'shes not in the right headspace right now.. im sorry if she gave you the wrong impression.'

you couldnt believe him, him and his dumb savior complex. your stomach boiled with rage and your face started to burn. 'fuck you!' you tore away from his grip, 'hey!' you slammed your hands on the desk. 'my aunt is NOT dead, and excuse my braindead friend, we are not dating.' 

the attendant looked at you like she was going to slap you. 'excuse me!' 

dean rested his arms on your shoulders once more and squeezed again, 'shes just in denial! im so sorry.. hey.. im sorry honey its okay..' he took you in his arms and hugged you towards his chest as he whispered in your ear, 'hey its okay.. just calm down.. lets not get kicked out of this hotel, alright?' he patted your shoulders and let you go as you exhaled aggresively. 

'im....' you took a deep breath in, 'sorry, miss.' you frowned slightly and grabbed onto deans hand. 'thanks..' you said as you looked up at him and glared, gritting your teeth as you smiled at him. he looked back down at you and winked. 

**

once sam finally came inside, the three of you sat down in the lobby for a moment to.. calm yourselves. 

'hey, are you guys okay?' sam looked at you, a concerned tone in his voice, to which he then faced towards dean to see him sprawled out on the sofa.

'yeah, were good,' he said calmly. 'just had to calm my girlfriend down in front of..' he tilted his head towards the desk to point sams attention to the direction of the attendant. sam nodded and gave dean a blank expression. you grumbled at dean as he said this, the jacket still wrapped around your arms. 'right..' he said awkwardly. 

'uhm.. anyway,'  sam cleared his throat, 'im gonna go up to my room..' he stood up and you looked up at him in confusion.

'your room?' you looked over to dean to see him with a half smile. 'i thought i had my own room?' 

sam looked over to dean and furrowed his eyebrows. 'dean said he was gonna share a room with you.. sorry.' he gave you a sympathetic look before walking away. he turned around and said 'dont kill each other, please, for the love of god. i dont need one of your spirits haunting me for the rest of my life.' as he turned back around you flipped him off and you heard dean snicker to himself.

**

the door slammed behind the both of you and you turned behind to look at him.

'what the fuck is wrong with you?' you wanted to punch him, or slap him across the face. he walked infront of you without looking you in the eyes as he sat the bags down on the beds. 'oh, and by the way, why the fuck am i stuck in a room with you? why couldnt i have gotten my own room, you and sam should be bunking together.' as you spoke at him, you heard him laugh underneath his breath which only fueled the fire inside of you. you snatched your bag barely from his grasp and he looked at you with a surprised look. you didnt bother to look him in the eye, so you took your bag to the bathroom and changed into shorts and a tank.

as he heard the creak of the bathroom door open, he looked back at you and shrugged his shoulders.

'okay okay, im sorry, okay, but look you were seriously going to get us kicked out. she was this close, i could see her reaching for the phone.' you looked at him furiously, you were basically panting. 'and the room, sam wanted his own because he knows that you and i are both messy. he wanted his own space, thats all. no further intentions. cross my heart.' he raised his arms and did the symbol acrossed his chest. you sighed at his gesture, you didnt want to be mad. you just didnt want to be saved. you wanted to fight your own battles once and awhile. 

'im sorry..' you sat across from him on the other bed. 'i..' you spoke softly, 'look, ive just been-' cutting you off, thunder struck loudly.. on what seemed like the building you were staying in. 'jesus!' you exhaled and your heartbeat quickened.

'hey..' dean looked at you with concern, 'are you okay?' he pat the open space next to him, urging you to come sit next to him.

though his offer was sweet and it made your heart flutter, you felt too proud to let him save you again, so you said nothing as you held the jacket around your arms. 'im fine. im not a child.' you looked at him angrily, though you saw the sincerity in his face. lightning struck once more, which caused you to jump again.

'okay..' he said as he stood up, 'ill sit next to you then.' as he sat down, the bed creaked and you looked up at him. he sat closely. you dont think he meant to, but you two were very close to each other now. 

dean felt like he could hear your heart beating, and oh was it going fast. he wasnt sure if it was because of the rain, or him. he wrapped one arm around you and you leaned into him, and he sighed. no words were spoken, he just let you rest in his embrace. moments went by as the thunder continued to rumble, which caused you to jump each time. he wanted to distract you, to do anything to calm you down. he didnt know what to do, so he just sat in silence.

as you looked up at him, he gulped. you looked so pretty, and he wanted to distract you. he figured that he was just trying to help, and so he leaned in to kiss you.

you stood up quickly as he tried to initiate this with you. 'uhm..' you said quietly. 'sorry..' you stood awkwardly.

he looked up at you, and shook his head quickly before he spoke. 'no.. no, its okay, im sorry, i shouldnt have done that.. you just looked really stressed out and so i wanted to help you relax..' he paused as he looked around the room to avoid eye contact. 

your eyebrows furrowed as he spoke. help you relax? you thought to yourself..

'uhm..' he spoke quickly, 'yeah, uhm. i think we should go to bed, we have to.. get going in the morning.' he stood up from your bed then flopped down onto his own. 'right, i uh.. i hope you get good sleep.' he said as he turned around to face away from you.

fuck. it was awkward, and you were confused. you layed in bed on your back as you tried to wrap your brain around what had happened. dean had tried to kiss you and.. you rejected him? you rolled around in bed, restless. why did you reject him? what did he mean when he said he 'wanted to help you relax?' was it the fact that you knew you were way less experienced than him? did he just do that because he felt bad for you? you knew that hed been with many women before you, but why did he try to kiss you now? you didnt know, and you didnt really want to think about it either. any thought regarding the manner made you feel sick.

**

knocking on the door woke you up from your sleep. you didnt even remember drifting off, but you knew it mustve been not long ago since you felt extremely drowsy. 

'goodmorning you two,' sam said as you creaked the door open slowly. 'how did you both sleep?' he peaked into the room and was (not surprised) to see dean still laying in bed, out cold. 

'uhm..' you yawned and rubbed your eyes, 'not the best to be honest.' you followed him as he paced around your guys messy room. 

'see, this is what i mean. i would have punched dean if he made our room this messy.' you laughed awkwardly, 'yeah, haha, this is actually mostly me,' you admitted. he turned back at you and shook his head. 

'aha, i wouldnt have punched you, but i wouldve given you a lecture for sure,' he teased. you enjoyed sams lightheartedness. he made you feel more at ease.

'hey, dean' he patted his head which jerked him out of his slumber. 'time to wake up man, we got a ghost to hunt' deans eyes opened slightly, the light piercing into what felt like his skull. 

'yeah yeah,' he said, clearly mocking him. 'give me a minute, can you atleast get out so i can change?' he looked behind sam to see you standing there, a long t shirt covering most of your body. you looked away before his eyes met yours, you felt like you were going to explode from the situation that occurred the previous night.

sam nodded and told him not to take too long, then he exited out of the room swiftly, shutting the door behind him. you sat down on your unmade bed and watched him as he sat up. 

'dean?' you said quietly. he looked up at you, still partially in a dazy state. 

'mhm?' he looked you in the eyes which caused you to look away from him again. 

'im sorry..' you spoke softly, 'i dont know.. i didnt know..' you paused, but he shook his head at you and said, 'no, no dont apologize. you have nothing to be sorry for. im sorry for trying to push that onto you.. i wont ever do that again, i promise.'

your heart sank. you knew he meant well, but you realized you gave off the wrong impression. you didnt really know what to say, so you just nodded smally and then got up to hide your face so you didnt unintentionally cry infront of him. you didnt want him to feel sorry for you again. you wanted to tell him that you loved him, that you wanted to kiss him, but you didnt know how. you couldnt. you didnt want to ruin what the three of you had. 

**

the rest of that day was very awkward. sam tried to lighten the mood by making the jokes that dean would usually make, though it didnt help much. you wanted to pull dean aside to talk with him privately, you just didnt know how to go about that. you didnt even know what you wanted to say, you just knew that this 'silent treatment' he was giving you was worse than anything you ever could have wanted. you knew he was just trying to make you feel comfortable, but it was making you feel like he was avoiding you. 

as you arrived to the scene of the crime, there was a couple cops there already. dean, ofcourse, stood up straight and walked directly towards them.

'good evening heros of the city, im matthew hill from the department of.. neighborhood security, what do we have here?' he smiled bravely and without a moments notice, they smiled back.

as they explained the scene, you and sam snuck to the back of the house to find a door or window to break in. once you found an entrance point, you looked back behind you before entering. the cop, you could tell, was clearly interested in dean. by all means, it looked like he was interested in her too. and why wouldnt he be? she was beautiful. you felt your stomach churn at the sight.

'hey, you okay? lets go!' sam urged you quietly to snap out of your thoughts and waved you inside. 

'sorry!' you hastly got inside as he shut the window behind the both of you.

'are you okay? you look..' he cleared his throat, 'are you alright?' he spoke with genuine concern in his voice, though it did nothing for your confidence.

'yeah, yeah im good..' there was a twinge of something in your voice, but sam couldnt tell what it was.

'yeah, i saw them too, dean and the cop.' he laughed lightly. 'it honestly gets so tiring, you know? like, we have a job we need to do, we cant just bone every attractive person we see.' he joked. but you didnt laugh, you just smiled weakly and nodded your head. you felt your stomach churn but you tried to pay no mind to it.

'yeah.. right. right, im going to go look upstairs and see if i can find anything.' he nodded at you and snooped around downstairs as you went up the staircase.

**

after a long and tiring day, you guys finally made it back to a hotel to rest. it was raining again that night, and you really just wanted to get inside and go to sleep. you wanted dean to wrap his arms around you and tell you that it was okay, you just wanted him to feel comfortable around you again. it made you sick that he was avoiding you like this. you didnt even bother trying to talk to the attendant this time, you were just worn out. 

'excuse me, miss? can i help you?' your head turned quickly as you looked to the desk to see the man speaking to you. he smiled at you as he waited for you to speak.

'oh, no no im okay, im just waiting for my friends to bring the bags in. i think the rooms are under their last name so..' you trailed off.

'oh thats okay! what are the rooms under?' you raised your eyebrows at his kind gesture. you got up and stood at the desk. 

'oh, its, uhm its under winchester.' you smiled and tapped your hands on the table and pursed your lips as he fiddled away on the computer.

'hmmm... yup! right here, two rooms, correct?' he looked up to you to gage your reaction. 

'yes! thats us.' you smiled at him with sincerity and exhaled. 'you know.. we stayed at this other hotel the other night.. and this lady wouldnt give me the keys because.. she didnt trust me. like, i guess thats fair, because i sort of did look like i was homeless..' you chuckled to yourself a little, 'but, she was being really rude about it.. so i appreciate your trust in me.' you looked back to his gaze to see him smiling as you spoke.

'oh, yeah haha i wouldnt have ever thought that!' he joked lightheartedly with you as you waited for the boys to find a parking space and grab the luggage. you appreciated his demeanor, he didnt seem to talk down on you at all, and you had thought he was a little bit handsome too. it was nice to not think about dean for once. 

as you guys spoke, dean and sam hustled through the sliding doors with bags hung over their arms.

 'oh! there they are.' you gestured to them. 'i was just talking to..' you looked down at his name tag, 'elliot.. he gave me the keys for the room, so im ready whenever you guys are.' 

deans eyebrows furrowed as he watched you introduce this random man to the two of them. this man was nothing, and he felt.. intimidated? by how comfortable you felt with him already in the few moments of their absence away from you. he smiled as he walked up to elliot and held his hand out.

'dean. dean winchester.' elliot shook his hand and smiled, 'nice to meet you, boss!' dean looked back at you with a confused look on his face. he didnt want to force you into a situation you werent comfortable in, but he felt like you were basically flaunting this man infront of him. he felt his judgement cloud his thoughts for a moment before he spoke.

'so, uh, tryna hit on my lady, pal?' dean spoke fiercly, and you jerked your head to look at him, your eyebrows furrowing, a scoff leaving your lips as he stood there intimidatingly. 

the attendant closed his eyes for a moment before he shook his head confusingly, 'oh! no, ofcourse not.. just.. doing my job..' he trailed off as he looked at you for backup. you were about to speak, but before you could, dean cut you off.

'seems like it,' he smiled as he squinted at the worker, 'you know,' he looked down at you as you stood beside him, feeling smaller and smaller as he continued to speak, 'shes way too good for you,' he wrapped his arm around your shoulder as a way to intimidate the attendant, he just looked at you both awkwardly.

'dean..' you whispered, 'stop please' and you pushed his arm off of you, causing him to look around in an agitated manner before he began speaking again.

'shes uh..' he looked down at you, 'shes a catch aint she, you know..' he paused again before the attendant finally spoke up.

'i have a boyfriend!' he blurted, his face filled with an embarrassed and awkward expression. deans eyebrows raised as he looked at him, speechless. 'so, you can stop.. whatever youre doing and just, go up to your rooms for christs sake.' the attendant looked over at you and squinted a little, furrowing his eyebrows.

'im sorry..' you said quietly as dean patted his hand on your shoulder again and urged you to move away from the desk to go catch with sam as he stood awkwardly in the lobby connecting to the hallway, 'anyway.. thank you sir!' dean said as he walked away.

as you two walked the hallway, you ripped yourself from his grasp and began to walk slowly behind him, 'nice going, asshole.' you said coldly, not looking at him as you spoke. when you caught up with sam, he leaned down to whisper something to you so dean couldnt hear. 

'do you want me to bunk with dean?' sam whispered to you as dean walked ahead, not looking behind to the either of you. 'i know what he just did was shitty.. i dont know why he did it, but he must have some weird reasoning for it. i can handle him tonight if you want a break.'

you looked forward to see dean walking with tension in his posture. you wanted to help him, but you were too angry to think anything kindly about him. you wanted to be angry, but a small part of you felt confusion. why would he say those things infront of elliot? did he like you? was he jealous? you didnt think a jealous bone was in deans body. you didnt think it was possible for him to even feel that emotion. you were just confused, but you felt slightly at ease that he felt that protective over you.

'no, its okay, thank you though.' you looked up at him and smiled as you leaned into his chest. 'i appreciate everything you do for me, sam, really. thank you.' your arm wrapped around his back and he squeezed your arm tightly.

'ofcourse.' he let you go, and then walked ahead towards his room. 'ill see you two in the morning,' he waved and then unlocked his door and then entered.

**

dean had already entered the two of you guys room, so you had to knock.

'hey, can you let me in?' you quietly yelled, but you heard no response. seconds later, you heard him fiddling with the door handle and the door swung open, though he was already walking away from the door as you entered.

'look.. dean..' he avoided eye contact. you could tell that he was ashamed with the way that he acted infront of the desk attendant. 'its okay.. im not mad..' you walked up to him as he faced towards the window, rain streaking down the glass. 'dean...' there was a sense of urgency in your voice. 'can you look at me? please?' 

after hearing your plea, he turned around almost instantly. he didnt say anything, but he was now facing you. 

'i..' you paused. you didnt know how to articulate how you felt. you didnt know if it would be a good idea. you spoke anyway. 'im just confused, okay? i.. i want to..' he looked down to see your eyes well with tears. he didnt want you to feel pain due to his actions. he felt guilty, and he felt confused, too.

he looked up and thought for a moment before he decided that he couldnt take this anymore. he tilted your head up with his fingertips and you stopped speaking almost immediately. you looked into his eyes and you saw the same look that made your knees want to melt into the ground. you were speechless, and before you could even try to speak again, every thought you had paused the second his lips touched yours.

though you were startled by his sudden movements, you didnt object this time. you kissed him back and moaned into his mouth, and he moaned into yours. your heart was racing, you didnt know how this even started, but you didnt want to question it.

you broke away from the kiss and he looked into your eyes with want and lust. you exhaled as you stared at his features for a moment before you leaned back in and wrapped your arms around his shoulders to fully bring him in. his arms moved to your waist as you manouvered his mouth in a way youve done with others, though its never felt this good.

you unintentially pressed his back against the window and his breath hitched from the sudden cold, but he didnt seem very bothered. he was much more focused on you. he kissed you hungrily, the want resurfacing from the previous night where he originally tried to kiss you the first time. you questioned why you even rejected him in the first place. 

his hands fiddled with the hem of your shirt and you made a noise which signaled your approval for him, so he took his lips off of yours to help you lift your shirt over your head. you werent thinking, you didnt even think about how youve essentially never gotten this far before, you just knew that youve wanted this to happen for months, and now that it finally was, your brain was short circuiting. 

he took in the view of your body and broke the silence, 'youre so beautiful,' he said quietly. you looked at him for a moment before you urged him to take off his shirt as well. he happily obliged. 

his mouth found his way to yours once more as he tried to lead you to walk backwards a little. his hands slid their way up and down your waist as you guys moved. as he sat you down on his bed, he snaked his knee between your thighs and slowly layed you down onto the bed, not disturbing the kiss. 

feeling the emotion fully now, you realized his intentions, and you broke away from the kiss quickly. he looked at you, want in his eyes.

'are you okay?' he spoke breathlessly.

'i..' you put your forehead to his, 'ive never..' your breath was heavy, and he felt you shaking as his hand rested on your waist.

he paused, realizing what you meant. he didnt want you to feel embarrassed for being unexperienced compared to his, well, sluttiness. his thumb rubbed circles on your hip as he spoke quietly, 'its okay..' he looked you in the eye and smiled at you, 'i just want to do whatever i can to distract you in this moment. i just want you to be okay' he smiled at you weakly as you leaned in to kiss him, not wanting to say anything more. you were confused by what he meant 'distract' again but your thoughts were too clouded to think clearly in the moment.

as you kissed him, he broke away from your lips and started to lower his attention to your neck. he kissed softly at first, lightly grazing your skin. he continued to feel your heart beat, though he figured you were okay since you hadnt stopped him yet. as you looked up at the ceiling, your grip around his shoulders became tighter as he felt around your thighs and slid his hands under your ass. his kisses became more needy, and you could feel his teeth leaving small marks all over your neck and collerbone. you liked the idea of being his.

as he kissed you, you closed your eyes and rested your head against his shoulder. he touched you everywhere. there wasnt an inch of skin that he wanted to go unnoticed. he wanted you to feel secure, and he wanted you to feel distracted. he felt like he was doing a fine job in doing so. while kissing and marking up your neck, one hand slid between your thighs as his other was wrapped around your neck. 

you were afraid, and you accidently signaled that to him, so he moved his hand quickly and looked into your eyes. 

'wait,' you said, panting. he looked at you, feeling his erection growing. he wanted to satisfy you, but he knew he needed to do it on your terms. 'i.. im' you paused, your thoughts were cloudy. you wanted to continue, but you didnt know how. 'im.. im sorry..' you said breathlessly.

he blinked quickly before realizing you were shutting it down. 'no.. no... its okay..' he watched as you grabbed your shirt quickly and put it back on in a swift motion. 'im sorry...' you looked to his jeans to see his growing excitement, and the pit in your stomach grew. 'dean.. im sorry..' tears began to well in your eyes. 

'no, no.. its okay, im okay i promise' though he wished he couldve continued, he never would have wanted to force you into anything you didnt want to do. he kissed your forehead before standing up slowly, 'im..' he paused, 'im going to take a shower.' you looked up at him and nodded, wrapping your arms around yourself.

as he walked away and shut the door, you looked down to the floor and wanted to curse yourself. you hated yourself. you brought your hand up to your neck to feel the lasting marks that he had left, and you felt traces of his saliva. you wanted to cry. you wanted to continue, you wanted more. the feeling in your stomach was churning, mixed with the sense of dread. as you sat there with your thoughts, you heard the shower turn on.

you wanted to prove to him you werent a prune, that you could be one of the girls that hed consider.. dating. you wanted to be someone that he could rip their clothes off and take them in an instant, in any way he wanted to. you wanted him to want you in that way. as you stood up, you carefully took your top and bralette off leaving them on the bed. sliding your shorts and panties down your thighs, you felt a chill and shivered, feeling excited by the thought of getting in a warm shower. though you were nervous, you were determined to prove yourself to him.

you felt exposed, but you didnt care. as you walked up to the bathroom door, you listened carefully for a moment. you swore you heard him hold back a moan, but you didnt want to make assumptions.

in the shower, dean took himself in his hand and was pumping furiously. he felt like a loser, like a man who couldnt get any action, but he couldnt help it. though he truly didnt want to force you to do anything, he felt extremely unsatisfied, and he needed to release the tension building up in his body. he tried to remain quiet, but the thoughts of you rushing through his head were taking over. 

he never knew that you were a virgin. he had his sneaking suspicion because you never spoke about any bad one night stands youve encountered, though maybe he was the only one who experienced those. he just figured that you saved that type of thing for a special someone, which drew him to another conclusion. 

was he not special enough for you? his hand moved faster in frustration and a groan slipped from his lips. he was hoping that you didnt hear due to the water. hed never considered himself one to care, but hes never been with a virgin before. every woman hes ever been with had, atleast, has had some sort of experience. he found himself wishing that he could be your first. he groaned at the thought of it as he stroked himself almost to the point of release. 

your quivering body underneath his, begging for him to give you the release you desperately deserve. his mouth watered at the image.

as he jerked off, he heard the bathroom door open slightly,

'dean?' you cautiously spoke out. 

'uh- uhm, what? whats up?' he moved his hand away from his dick quickly and he faced the shower wall. he gritted his teeth from the absence of friction against his erection. he wanted to curse you, but he knew you meant well. 

'can i come in?' though he couldnt see you, he heard a hint of something in your voice. he wasnt sure what it was. were you scared because of the weather again? did you just want to be in his comfort once more, did you want him to save you again? 

'uhm, sure,' he said hastily. his eyebrows furrowed as the possibilites were circling in his mind. as he thought, you slowly opened the shower curtain, and he turned around to see you standing nude infront of him. 'i-' he was, for once, speechless. 

'dean..' you said, as you stepped into the shower, trying to avoid looking at his cock as it lay up against his stomach. 'i just..' you looked up into his eyes, watching the water fall down onto his shoulders. 'i wanted to apologize.. im sorry.' you said, your eyes filled with sorrow. 

he looked at you suddenly feeling remorse for every sick thought he had about you in the moment before. 'hey, its okay..' though as he spoke, you slowly lowered yourself to the shower floor and got on your knees, making you face to face with his thighs. you brought your arms up to his thighs and rested them there for a moment as his breath hitched.

'what...' he gulped, 'what are you doing?' you didnt look in his eyes. you didnt know where to look, you just brought your hands to his dick and you lightly grazed him with your fingertips. as you did so, you felt his thighs tense and a loud exhale escaped from his lips. 'im sorry..' you said as your hands rested on his cock. 'is this okay?' 

as you looked up at him, he swore he felt unlike anything hes ever felt before. 'yes.. yes its okay..' he looked down at you carefully, one hand on the edge of the shower, and one hand found its way to the top of your head as he wiped your hair away from your eyes. 'are you..' he gulped, 'are you sure about this?' he said as he looked down at you.

you nodded, and before a moments notice, you took him in your hands and put your mouth over his tip. his grip on the edge of the shower made his knuckles turn white, and the hand on your head wanted to squeeze, but he kept a soft touch as to not force you to do anything. as you lowered your mouth onto him, you heard him make obscene noises above you, which caused the knot in your stomach to worsen. 

feeling your mouth on him felt euphoric. the shower water was hitting his back perfectly and feeling both of your hands and your mouth around him just reminded him how small you were.. or how big he really was. he couldnt tell, nor did he care. he just knew that he wasnt going to last long. your unexperienced movements were a little awkward, but he felt at ease knowing that he was the first person youve ever done this to. he looked down at you and he smoothed your hair down as you moved.

he barely tried to hold back his moans anymore, and he felt them your movements becoming more desperate. the noises he was making made you feel embarrassed, but you felt proud. as you moved your hands up and down, you felt his warmth, and you wanted to remember his veins. you liked feeling him inside of your mouth, and so you tried to take him deeper down your throat.

as you began to throat fuck him, your movements became quicker and more at ease. now that you were going at a comfortable pace and depth, he felt that it would be okay if he guided your movements a little with his hand pressed behind your head. you heard him breathing heavily, a groan and a whimper escaping from his lips every so often. hearing his noises, you moaned against his dick, which sent a multitude of vibrations through his body, one of them which sent him over the edge. 

you felt him pulsing, and he spoke quickly, 'shit, fuck, i..' you lifted your mouth off of his dick and he groaned loudly at the absence of your touch, though he quickly took himself in his hand once more and he pumped his dick above your head. you were mesmerized by the sight, and you suddenly became jealous of every other girl that got to see him in this way before you. 

as he jerked himself off with desperation, his mouth became slightly ajar and his eyes rolled back as he groaned loudly 'i- im, fuck, i,' pumping himself quickly, white ropes expelled from his tip and emptied out onto your chest and face. he blabbered for a few seconds as he continued to stroke himself through his high, and he let out one final groan of satisfaction. you looked down to your chest to see his now watered down cum being washed away into the drain, and you ran your hand through the valley of your breasts, feeling the wetness on your chest. you wished you couldve kept this image in your mind forever.

you felt like it was a fever dream, you didnt know what to do next, so you stood up and looked down to see his dick softening quickly. 'i.. um, anyway, i just wanted to apologize.' then you swiftly stepped out of the shower and left the bathroom with a towel before he could even respond. he wouldnt have anyway, he was too out of breath.

authors note: THIS IS MY FIRST FIC !!! please give feedback + let me know if you liked it!! i appreciate anyone who reads <3 i dont know how often ill be posting as im a realllyyy slow writer, however im open to requests/anything really!

thank you @thesilmarillionblog for inspiring me to post <3

[ournosleep69-blog]

Joel Takes Your Virginity (yippee)

Haven’t done this in a while, so please bear with me!! I also need more ideas for what to write LOL. Thinking about doing some Arthur Morgan stories?? Mayhaps?? I also do angst & fluff YIPPEEE

Pairing: Joel Miller (hbo) x fem!reader (use of she/her, feminine terms)

Word count: 4.3k Warnings & Content: Smut, 18+. Age gap (reader is 19, Joel in his 40s), fem!reader, oral - female receiving, praise, P-in-V unprotected, loss of virginity, slight awkwardness, established relationship, creampie, dom!Joel, marking, sleepy aftercare, veryvery smutty, set in Jackson.

It’s already been a wonderful eleven months being with Joel. Sure, moving into his house before you two had even crossed a year together was a little bit risky, yet, it felt right; still feels right. Plus, you two had connected before you’d even gotten together, so it wasn’t as if it happened completely out of the blue.

Everything was amazing - Joel was the best boyfriend you could ask for; sweet, gentle, yet protective and ready to defend you if it came down to it (and it has, many times). He was thoughtful, and never wanted you to do things yourself, even if it was as simple as making coffee in the mornings. The age gap may earn some…questionable looks from a few randoms here in Jackson, but he never cared. Joel loved you loud, and he was damn proud of it.

On an intimacy level, however, you two hadn’t gone past the casual late-night makeout sessions, the hickeys here and there, the occasional groping. But it never went past any of that. It began to frustrate you, even if it was your doing. You stopped things before they went past that line of intimacy, but it was only because you were scared. What if you weren’t as good as the other girls he’s had? How many girls has he had, exactly? What if you can’t please him the first time-

“Thinkin’ hard over there?” Joel’s gruff voice interrupts your thoughts as his large hand comes out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His words ground you back into reality, and suddenly, you’re back on the couch with your boyfriend, watching some cheesy action film on a small TV. “Starin’ off into space like that, you alright?” 

Your gaze flickers over to Joel, noticing his hand gently squeezing your thigh in a reassuring manner. He seems to be worried, his brows furrowed, the slight wrinkles on his forehead deepening.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” you quickly brush his worries aside. Your hand reaches out to grab his own, feeling the way his palm and fingers nearly dwarf yours in size. “Just thinking.”

“Thinkin’?” With a grunt, the Texan shifts closer to you, his free hand trailing down to your chin to tilt your head in his direction. God, the man was stunning. Even in his late forties, he looked so full of youth. His brown eyes, deep and intense, met yours, beckoning you to be honest.

A sense of uncertainty fills your brain. It’s best to be honest, but you feel odd talking about it - intimacy was never your strong suit, even if it’s only because you were so inexperienced. So, you inhale a deep breath, your eyes fluttering slightly as you prepare to express yourself. 

“I wanna…well,” it’d be nice to turn your head and dodge his eye contact because you can already feel your cheeks heating up, but he keeps you in place. “I just think maybe we, uh, we take things..” Fuck, this was hard.

“I want to have sex. With you. Uhm, right. Yeah.” Jesus Christ, you kick yourself mentally, a palm slapping over your face in embarrassment. That was so awkward you might as well have just jumped his bones instead.

 You can see a wave of surprise rush over Joel’s features. His eyes widen slightly, lips parting to say something, yet he remains silent, only the sounds of his near-silent breaths filling the room. The hand on your thigh tightens just a bit. 

He then clears his throat, “you sure, pumpkin? That’s a big step. I don’t want you to feel like you have to. We can go as slow as you w-” But you cut him off by leaning in just slightly. The air between you thickens with tension, and you can feel Joel’s body tensing with anticipation. 

“I’m ready,” it’s all Joel needed to grab your hand, leading you up from the couch and towards your shared bedroom upstairs.

  ☆☆☆☆☆☆

It was a quick mess of clothes being discarded as soon as you two passed the threshold leading into the bedroom. Joel’s arms are tight around your waist, your own clinging to his shirt while your lips fight for dominance; a fight Joel quickly wins every. Single. Time.

Hot tongues slide and tangle against each other while your feet step towards the bed. Joel’s strong arms, marred with scars and scratches from all of his arduous years of surviving, guide you to lay back on the bed. 

“Just lay back, sweetheart. I wanna make your first time somethin’ special, you hear me?” The older man murmurs whilst slowly crawling on top of you.

Your back sinks into the fluffy softness of the covers, eyes flitting up to meet Joel’s intense ones. His gaze is roving over your body, pupils widening at the sight of every inch; the swell of your breasts, your flared hips, those plush lips and beautiful eyes. He could spend countless hours just ranting about how amazing you are, how special you are to him. 

How much he loves you.

His lips brush against the shell of your ear, breath warming the skin there whenever he talks. And the way his hand slides up to your stomach, tracing the contours, makes your insides clench. Though things were starting to get steamy, the nerves were starting to take over.

“Hey, hey. Darlin’, breathe,” You tried to keep it together as much as you could, but Joel could see the slight tremble in your body, the way you were unintentionally digging your nails into his shoulder. “Are you sure this is somethin’ you want?”

“Yes. It- It is. I know it…it doesn’t seem like it, but,” a shy laugh escapes your lips, and you loosen your grip. “But I want this. I’m serious, Joel.” 

At your words, the Texan nods firmly. His touch resumes on your stomach, fingertips trailing up and over your ribcage, feeling the ridges even through the skin. His touch is featherlight, calming even. And then his fingers brush against the bottom of your underwear, earning a gasp from your mouth.

“Someone’s eager..” He murmurs, shifting his hips nearly imperceptibly. But you could feel the hot bulge of his arousal pressed to the soft flesh of your inner thigh, the way it twitches through the thin fabric of his boxers.

“I could- could say the same about, uh, you,” It sounded a lot smoother in your head, but not so much when you stutter it out.

But he was right. The soft cotton panties that adorned your hips were damp in the crotch from your arousal, the slickness only growing with each touch, each loving caress from your older lover.

“Remember what I said, pumpkin. Breathe, in and out.” For someone so…intimidating, Joel can never help himself from babying you; especially in this moment of pure vulnerability for you, for your relationship.

Taking his advice, you suck in a deep breath, letting the oxygen sit in your lungs for a few seconds before you exhale just as slowly. The nerves are still there, but they’re calming down, and you can feel yourself enjoying the moment even more.

Joel can tell, too, because his touch becomes bolder. Leaning in, his lips descend upon your neck. He makes sure to carefully nip at the sensitive flesh behind your ear, earning a soft moan. But the acts of affection lower, and he starts to trail down the column of your throat with them, occasionally slipping the tip of his tongue out to taste you.

By the time he’s got you more opened up to the idea of this, you’re squirming under him, trying to press your hips up into his own. He chuckles, the movement making his beard scratch nicely against your jawline.

One of his hands begins to slip down, dipping below the elastic waistband of your underwear. He stops just short of actually making contact with your pussy, his fingers pulling back slightly. Joel leans his head back, only enough to look down at you. He can see the flush on your cheeks and it makes his dick throb. 

“Is this okay?” He asks with a slight tilt of his head, those weathered puppy eyes staring longingly into yours.

“Yeah..” You breathe. The anticipation combined with your arousal is sending tingles up your legs and into the apex of your thighs, amplifying every one of your intense feelings. Your pulse quickens, the steady thrum of your heart filling your ears.

Without hesitation, his fingers finally make contact with your most intimate area. Joel emits a soft groan, while you emit an even softer whimper. His touch is electric, sending jolts of pleasure through your legs and lower stomach, even if he hasn’t touched a particularly sensitive area yet.

“You’re fuckin’ soaked,” he whispers, voice hoarse and full of incredulousness. The older man continues his exploration of your cunt, index finger languidly sliding between your hot folds, feeling the way it glides so easily from your evident need. You’re too flustered to say anything, so you only look away, wanting to shrink away from his gaze. 

“Hey, look at me. Please.” 

You tilt your head back, too weak and in love to ignore his loving plea. A genuine, tender smile curls at the corners of his lips. “I wanna see every emotion on that pretty lil’ face, ‘kay?”

“Fuck-” You gasp again when his digits find your clit, beginning to rub tight circles over the sensitive bud. It throbs under his touch, your legs quivering just a bit while your entrance clenches around nothing, eager to be filled with something. Anything.

“S’alright, let it out.” Joel praises lovingly as he kisses your cheek, continuing his movements that have your hips rocking up and arching to chase that pleasurable feeling. 

With his thumb now replacing his fingers, Joel pays more attention to your entrance. But before he does anything, he suddenly lifts off of you. You whine at the loss of the pleasurable sensation, but he only gives you a soft ‘shh’, reassuring you that he’s nowhere near done working you up.

The older man finally settles between your thighs, his rough hands sliding up to your hips. His fingers curl around the waistband, pulling them off in one easy - or easy-looking - movement. The cool air brushing against your swollen folds makes you shudder, your toes curling on the sheets. It’d be surprising that you aren’t feeling exposed or uncomfortable, yet, you’re with Joel, and you trust him more than anyone.

“God, look at that,” A soft kiss is pressed to your mound, making you jump a little. “Every goddamn inch of you is perfect, sweetheart.” he admires.

It’s like you completely shut out every other feeling when Joel’s tongue comes out, mimicking the way his finger had slid between your folds just minutes ago. You can only focus on the wet, heady feeling of his tongue, of the way it brushes once more against your swollen clit.

Another mousy cry of need escapes you, yet your eyes are trained on Joel’s - you don’t want to disobey him. Watching him go down on you for the first time is so fucking erotic. “You taste even better than I imagined.” 

Fuck. 

Joel’s ministrations become more intense. His tongue flicks and works around your needy bud, not daring to overstimulate you before you two have even begun. Those arms come to wraps around your thighs, keeping you in place as he begins to feast on you like a man once starved. 

“Holy shit,” Your hands lose themselves in the soft salt-and-pepper locks of Joel’s hair, tugging his face closer to your dripping cunt. This only makes him double down on his efforts, the obscene sounds of his tongue licking and lapping filling the room.

Joel stops for a moment, looking down. His hand pulls away from your thigh, bringing two fingers to his mouth. Then, he’s looking back into your heated stare, sucking them into his mouth, getting them slick enough to slip inside of you. 

Now, this part was a little intimidating. Sure, you’ve touched yourself many a time, yet you’ve never put something inside of you. It makes you nervous to think about, but then you stop to  think. He’s never hurt me before.

“Please be careful.” The words leave your lips before you can stop yourself.

“I wouldn’t dream of hurtin’ you, kid.” 

The tip of only one digit breaches your small entrance, making you exhale a shaky sigh. It doesn’t hurt, but it feels unfamiliar, and your thighs threaten to lock around his head. Joel slides it in slowly, pupils blown wide at the feel of your velvety walls clinging to his finger, trying to pull him deeper. “I’d say you’re already up for a second. Carefully, ‘course.” 

Your left hand loosens the grip it had on his hair, coming down to hold the one still around your thigh for support. Joel wastes no time in intertwining your fingers together, offering three comforting squeezes that melt your heart. I love you.

It’s a little longer of a process for your body to relax enough to let him slip in a second digit. The two inside of you stretch you just a bit, and the sensation is…odd. It’s not painful though, not when Joel’s muttering words of praise and reassurance the entire time.

“I think…I think you can move now.” You decide. 

As if on cue, Joel’s fingers begin to slip in and out of your entrance, wanting to get you acquainted with the feeling. And once you do, he curls them up. They brush against your g-spot, feeling the spongy yet hard surface against the tips with each thrust.

Even the slightest touch as your back arched off the bed, a keening moan filling the room. Joel only smiles contentedly, lowering his head to begin suckling at your clit.

Your toes curl once again, and you cry out. “Oh my god, Joel-” Each flick of his tongue, each movement of his fingers has you grinding against his mouth, unable to hold back. The flush on your cheeks has bloomed down to your neck, the cutest sight to the older man who absolutely adores you. “That feels s- so fucking good-”

“Let it out. Be as loud as you need to, baby,” his southern drawl comes out husky with arousal, yet he pushes through. His desires can wait, he’s only worried about making sure you have the best first time. It only comes once, but he wants to make sure you do multiple times tonight.

The praise sets you off, the combination of being fingered and eaten out has you an absolute blissed-out mess. He hums against your cunt, sending vibrations through your entire body. Your hand tightens in his, your head thrown back.

Just another minute or so passes, and you feel the intense tug in your lower stomach. Close, already. Joel can tell as well, seeing the way your walls are fluttering around him as he finger-fucks you with care. His tongue keeps the same steady pace, not wanting to change it up and make you lose the building climax.

“Joel- Joel! Fuck, don’t stop, please!” 

And just like that, one more flick of Joel’s tongue, one more thrust of his digits, has you tumbling headfirst over the finish line. Your climax is intense, easily one of the most intense you’ve had in your short life. Thighs clenched tightly around his head, you cry out in ecstasy as your legs tremble and feel like jelly, walls contracting while your juices spill down to Joel’s palm.

And through it all, the older man’s mouth and hand keeps moving, prolonging your orgasm until you're a writhing, boneless heap on the bed beneath him. Your face glistens with that post-orgasmic glow, chest heaving with each gasp for air.

While you’re still reeling, Joel slowly removes his fingers. He presses kisses up along your body, only stopping when he reaches your lips. You can taste yourself on his tongue - slightly tangy and salty, mixed with something uniquely you. It should gross you out, but it only serves to keep your arousal up, your arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him closer.

“You did so good, so fuckin’ good,” Joel mumbles between kisses. The kisses aren’t overly eager; no, they’re full of adoration and tenderness, and the desire to make you feel the best that you possibly can.

You already feel like a puddle of goo, but the way he’s complimenting you only makes you melt even more. But something snaps you from your thoughts - his length, once again, pressed to your thigh. It’s as hard as a fucking rock, and you know it has to hurt as this point. One glance down and you can see the wet patch from the pre-cum staining his boxers, and it makes you shudder.

“Keep going..” you murmur, voice weak and slightly husky from the climax. Joel only looks at you with a curious lift of his brow. But you only nod, even beginning to rub your thigh against his bulge.

“Are you sure, pumpkin? I mean- fuck.” The growl deep in his chest makes your pussy wetter, and you can see his hips twitch slightly, wanting to chase that friction. “Alright, alright.” He chuckles.

Pulling back so he’s on his knees, the Texan moves to tug his waistband down.The boxers slip down his muscular thighs with ease, revealing the neatly trimmed forest at the base of his shaft, and most importantly, the seven and a half inch length of his cock. It springs free, slapping against his stomach as he leans back, giving you the full view. It’s thick, veiny, and clearly in need of release. It twitches once again, the tip an angry pink.

You’ve felt it multiple times during your makeout sessions, and even seen it during showers together, but this was entirely different.

“This is gonna hurt, isn’t it?” You swallow thickly. The nerves rush back, making your stomach drop and clench with anticipation. All you can think is ‘how is that supposed to fit in that?’

“I won’t let it,” he’s quick to dispel your fears, once again. “I promise ya’.” 

You watch on in aroused disbelief as Joel spits into his calloused palm before he brings it down to wrap around his shaft. “You’ve got me hard as a damn rock, kid.” His head tilts back, strong jaw clenching under his beard as he starts to stroke it with lazy pumps of his fist. It must be only to lubricate it, because he’s back to hovering his body over yours. “Ain’t a surprise though, huh?”

With one hand moving to guide his length to your soaked pussy, the other moves back to slide into your own, holding your hand to support you through what’s going to be your first time having sex.

“You’re so beautiful,” Joel’s soothing words fill you with ease. He kisses your forehead, pouring every ounce of his true love for you into the action. He’s not a man of many words, but you melt down that gruff exterior, and he loves you all the more for it. “So perfect. And all mine, ain’t that right?” It’s possessive, but he’s not mean about it. You nod, and he smiles. “Can you say it for me, pumpkin? Go on, I know ya’ can.”

Trying to gather up the words while Joel’s swiping his cockhead through your folds for lubrication is nearly impossible. Your hand tightens on his, and you have to squeeze your eyes shut to focus on the task you’ve been given.

“I- I’m all yours, Joel.” You finally breathe, gasping when his tip breaches your entrance. It feels thicker than his two fingers, and there’s a slight burning sensation that comes with being stretched like that.

Joel grunts, one hand beside your head to keep himself up. His other simply squeezes yours back, grounding you to the situation. “I know, baby, I know. Deep breaths, breathe through it.” 

The encouragement is enough, and you start to breathe deeply as he begins to sink inch by inch inside of your tight, wet, velvety heat. You’ve never been stretched so fully - or at all for that matter - it makes you wince, yet clench your muscles around him.

“I love you. I love you so fuckin’ much,” Joel grunts, the pleasure nearly overtaking him. It’s so fucking tight around his cock, he fights the urge to just start thrusting right then and there. But he’d never hurt you, especially not for some selfish need for pleasure. “Say it back, sweetheart, let me hear those words from your pretty ‘lil’ mouth.”

It clicks right then and there; he’s distracting you, trying to make you focus on anything other than the feeling of him stretching you wide around his arousal. It’s so sweet it nearly brings tears to your eyes. In fact, it does. Your eyes fill with unshed tears at the sentiment, and you cling tighter to him.

“I love you.” 

The older man finally buries himself to the hilt inside of your cunt, his breathing slightly ragged. He stills to let you work out the foreign feeling for a few moments, leaning down to kiss your cheeks, even kissing away the few tears that had escaped.

“Say it again, kid.” 

“F- Fuck- I love you-” 

“Atta girl.” Joel encourages warmly, and he begins to piston his hips in gentle, languid strokes. Each thrust has him groaning, mouth pressed against your collarbone, which he begins to mark up with hickeys. It’s a reminder of the trust you put into him, the trust he wouldn’t break for the world. “I love you more.”

Meanwhile, each thrust has you making your own coos of pleasure. The feel of his cock nestled inside of you, each roll of his hips that has his pelvis grinding against your oh-so-sensitive clit, is driving you insane with gratification. With unadulterated need. 

Your bodies fit and move together like pieces of a puzzle, your legs wrapped tight against his waist as he drives into you over and over. The pain and burn had begun to fade, opening up to extreme pleasure every time the slight curve of his cock pressed against your g-spot. 

Your noises, combined with the slapping of flesh, fills your ears, making it impossible to focus on anything else; not that you’d want to anyway. And the noises you were making were making Joel inch towards the edge, no matter how hard he tried to fight against it.

“You’re so fuckin’ tight, my god, pumpkin,” Joel growls. Making sure you’re still holding onto his hand, his other one slips back down - making sure to caress your breasts adoringly on the way - to rub circles into your bud. You mewl, the dual stimulation serving to heighten your pleasure even more. Your walls clamp down on Joel’s shaft, making him let out a strangled moan. It was no secret, you were both so close.

“I want- ah, shit-” The Texan mutters, trying to find his bearings while his hips begin to rut faster, chasing the release he craves. “I want you to cum with me, kid. Let it- Let it wash over ya’. Deep breaths.”

Joel redoubles his efforts, wanting you to find that wave of ecstasy beside him. He can tell you're close, and with the way his balls draw up tight, he can tell he is too.

“Joel-” Your nails dig into his hand, leaving deep crescent-shaped marks with every step closer you take to the edge. “I- I’m gonna-”

“Shit, darlin’-” It’s not long before you both find that much-needed orgasm. Joel’s lips crash against yours, groaning gutturally into your mouth, his hips bucking. Your climax triggered his own, walls keeping him deep inside while his cock twitches and pulses, emptying ropes of thick, hot cum deep inside your womb until he’s spent and panting.

Your legs had locked tight around him, squeezing him while you rode out your own waves of pleasure. Your cries were muffled by his lips, by his tongue. It was somehow even more intense than the previous one, your juices flowing and dripping down his shaft.

Joel carefully collapses on top of you, his hands moving to gather your boneless form into his comforting arms. “There you go, sweetheart. You did so good. So good for me.” He whispers against your ear, turning your bodies to the side so you were snuggled against the hard planes of his chest instead of laying under him.

“Was it okay?” He asks, genuinely caring about your wellbeing whilst he peppers kisses all over your face. His softening cock slips out of you with a soft pop, a trail of your combined fluids leaking from your well-loved hole and onto the blankets below. 

“Okay?” You ask in a tired voice, your face pressed against his neck. “That was...that was fucking amazing.”

Joel chuckles, the deep rumble of it vibrating in his chest and filling your ear. “Good, kid. I’m glad.” There’s a sense of accomplishment in the way he holds himself in this very moment. He’s proud he’s satisfied you, turned your first time into something you’ll never forget. “Don’t worry about cleanin’ up just yet. Lemme hold ya’.” 

“Mhm..” You’re so out of it that you’re already falling asleep - and Joel’s kisses aren’t making it any easier to stay awake. The scent of him fills your nose, the comforting smell surrounding you in warmth and familiarity. “How…how was I?”

“The best I ever had. Ever.” His thick fingers start to trace invisible patterns around your back, his movements reverent - he was being genuine with his words, you could hear it in his voice. 

“Get some sleep, baby girl. I love you more than anything. And I mean that.” His breath nearly catches, a lump forming in his throat. The man quickly clears his throat, not wanting to get all sappy on you when you’re trying to sleep. Though, he does whisper one last thing before closing his own dark eyes, letting exhaustion wash over him as well.

“Anything, kid.”

[sinfulnesxx]

For some reason, hearing those words, imagining several men using him, humiliating him, denigrating him, and talking dirty to him while he was being fucked, made Billy moan even louder. That's just what he wanted; it didn't matter if he sinned in lust; he wanted to be used by several men at once. But for the moment, he had to gain experience first and learn how to please men. His cheeks were red, his eyes as well, and tears slid down his cheeks and pooled on his wet chin.

When Father Velazquez stopped, Billy pulled away and coughed a little, panting hard as he watched that wonderful cock glistening softly at all the saliva coating it. “I want more, Father. I want you to keep fucking my throat, feed me your divine seed. I want...” Billy gulped hard. “... I want to stop being a virgin and be used and fucked like a filthy whore” That language could get him into trouble, but at that point, he no longer cared.

Once he got his breath back, Billy swallowed the man's huge, thick cock again, taking it deep into his throat and starting to pump his head up and down, the difference being, this time he was doing it with much more desperation, hunger, lust, moaning as the sweet Catholic boy created the most sinfully wet sounds while choking.

The moment that Billy started to do a couple of things to hopefully take the cock better, the priest seemed to spot it. Hearing the gagging sounds was enough to keep him hard. Add that to the cupped cheeks and he was practically in heaven. "Fuck. You were born to be used by men." Everyone had a divine right and he thought he had just found the younger male's. He stopped moving his hips so much just to see what Billy would do with his length. Instead he just stood there, moaning a bunch of dirty things underneath his breath. There would be plenty of time for him to use the boy later, he wanted him to earn his salvation first.

[dancedance-resolution]

bisexuality update! today i was getting ice cream and a guy walked in. extremely short, and looked like the type of guy who regularly yells at another guy on the streets of hoboken outside of the local deli about the yankees. and i thought you know what actually i might want to fuck him. !!!!!!!

[widowshill]

— And do you or do you not have difficulty remembering such simple instructions? — Only during thunderstorms, sir.

THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965) / DARK SHADOWS (1966)

[dustteller]

Yknow, I think this passage really captures how Ouyang views Esen, especially in contrast with how Baoxiang views Esen. Ouyang geuinely believes the best of Esen, he genuinely belives that Esen is good and pure and kind and that it's himslef that is taining him into being otherwise. And while Ouyang is right in that he's technically responsible for Esen’s current emotional state (he did very much kill Esen’s dad and frame his brother for it, that is very much a thing he just did), for once it isn't his fault for the everything else going on with Esen?

I do think Esen is generally good-natured, and tries to be kind and generous to those he loves, but it's very clear that Ouyang has reduced him to JUST that in his head. He only sees Esen’s best qualities as inherent to him, and all the bad ones are Ouyang's fault somehow. He blames himself for Esen not understanding him (because there's something wrong with him, and even when he's mad at Esen for not caring enough to notice certain things he justifies it in his head by making it about his own unmanliness or whatever and Esen is just to perfect for that), for any failure in battle (yeah you're the general but Esen also approved this hes your boss dude), and generally for any moment where Esen exhibits less than stellar behaviour/capacity/etc. When in reality, we have a lot of moments where Esen is just sort of a dick, many of which are pre-ouyang (courtesy of HWDtW wbx flashbacks, which, granted, are also biased but my point still stands). We see Esen's constant and usually unjustified frustration with wbx and sometimes Ouyang, we see him be dismissive of the things they tell him, in the pre-order reward its pretty much stated that he makes a habit of dumping Ouyang outside brothels for hours while he goes inside to get laid, in one of his first scenes we see how much he enjoys it when Ouyang spends the whole morning tormenting Altan (altho tbf he kinda deserved it, altan suuuccckkss), and in general Esen just kinda treats people like crap sometimes. He's snapish and short-tempered and stubborn and imperious, loves whining about stuff, and is a shitty brother and best friend. He's got a lot of good qualities too, like how he's one of the few people that treats Ouyang with respect and tries to treat him as an equal, how his first reaction when wbx is insulted is to come to his defense (even if wbx usually foils his attempts by immediately clapping back and storming off), how we see him recognize he gets frustrated witj wbx too easily and tries to hold his temper back, how he immediately self-sacrifices to save Ouyang from his dad, how even after thinking wbx killed their dad he does really want to forgive him.

My point is, Esen is trying, but he's a very flawed human being, and Ouyang just can't seem to grasp that. He looks at him with rose-colored glasses. And it's so interesting that amongst all the shitty things Ouyang has done (and this duology really just is Ouyang and WBX fuck up yuan dynasty china to truly Epic proportions), the one he feels worst about is the one that isn't actually his fault (sorta). He may have killed Chaghan and been the catalyst for Esen's emotional blow up, but he isn't responsible for Esen having the capacity to burn WBX's books. That was Esen's decision. He hasn't somehow manipulated Esen into an eviler, crueler version of himself by virtue of existing evil-y and eunuch-y and revengefully im his vicinity. Esen was always capable of this, even if we take out Ouyang's actual manipulations, and I think this whole I-tainted-hin mentality really encapsulates how fucked up their relationship and Ouyang's mental state are in general. After all, Ouyang doesn't feel bad about the murder, or the framing, and he feels guilt about causing Esen pain, but most of all, he feels absolutely terrible that he's shattered what he sees as Esen’s purity, which in reality is mostly just the pedestal he himslef put him on. Man, what a fucked up little guy.

[thedailydescent]

Every time I see advertisements for the third season of Bridgerton I'm forever thankful I gave up that liberal covid escapism show after season 2 when I realized that we were actually supposed to be rooting for the main character who exposed a black pregnant teenager and a feminist activist, and that there would be no lasting consequence for that because this show is really all about preserving social order and maintaining the nuclear family. why look at class segregation when you can look at these shirtless colonizers.

[vivitalks]

guys i genuinely don't know what to do. my quirky little destiel fic which was already far too long to begin with now has a second smaller fic nested inside of it and somehow the second smaller fic is the absolute crackfest of this supernatural/tazamnesty crossover where dean lowkey hooks up with barclay the bigfoot and i don't KNOW what to DO. do i cut the scene. do i post it separately. do i post it separately but ALSO leave it in the fic. do i just pretend like barclay is an OC i made up and all the references to the fictional town of kepler west virginia are incidental. WHAT IS THE MOVE HERE