#i want to squeeze in all the rm moments i can

[harrietswriting]

Telling Dallas you SH

Dallas Winston x reader

An: Hi!! First post! Please send me requests if you have any because my writer's block is horrible :')

Tw: S*lf-h*rm mentioned (do I have to censor this?), Dallas being a little insensitive because he's Dallas, not proof read fully

I need to tell him. I need to. I think to myself as I walk up the stairs at buck's. I'm shaking and my heart is pounding. God, I do not want to do this. I hug my purse for comfort as I approach his door. I can do this. Just knock. I tell myself.

I take a deep breath as I bring my fist up to the door and tap it three times. I focus on my breathing and try to calm myself down. I hear shifting coming from inside the bedroom. I don't have to wait very long before Dallas opens the door.

"Oh, hey." He says. His hair is a mess -when is it not- and he smells strongly of cigarettes. He looks tired. He almost always looks tired, it makes me said.

God, Y/N, focus.

"Hey. Can I talk to you.. about something?" I say. My stupid voice is shaking. Gosh, am I dramatic!

He furrows his brows a bit and moves over to let me in his room as he says: "Uh, sure, yeah."

I step into his room. I'm still hugging my purse and suddenly feel embarrassed when I remember that I am. I set in on the dresser, but that feels awkward. Should I move it or-?

"So what'd you want to talk about? Am I in trouble?" His gravely voice cuts through my thoughts. I look over to see he's taken a seat on his bed.

"Oh- no. You're not in trouble," I can't help but smile a little. "I just need to tell you something." I make my way over and sit next to him.

He stares at me like he's trying to read my mind. I open my mouth but I can't will the words to come out. He must be able to tell how nervous I am, because he takes my hands in his and says: "I don't got all day. Out with it."

I stare back at him, but the nervous butterflies in my stomach tell me to look away so I do. I look down. No, no, I can do this. I can. So I look back up and without allowing myself to think blurt out.

"I harm myself."

His expression shifts and he's quiet for a moment.

"That's not funny."

"I'm not joking, Dal." I say quietly. I might cry.

He's quiet for another moment then let's out a breath.

"For how long?" He asks, not looking at me.

"[Amount of time]" I whisper.

"Jesus Christ." He says under his breath. He lets go of one of my hands and runs it through his hair before placing it on his thigh. "And you didn't tell me until now?"

I can feel my face getting hot and my eyes getting wet. "It- It's not easy." My voice is weak.

He looks back at me, hearing the sadness in my voice. His expression sadness as he gazes at me. "Don't cry, Y/N" He says in the most gentle voice I've ever heard from him. He squeezes my hand tighter. "I'm sorry, doll."

"You don't have to be sorry." I sniffle.

He rubs my arm with his other hand, and I can tell from his eyes that he's got a million questions. I might as well open the floor.

"What?" I ask softly.

He hesitates for a moment. He stares at me with these sad puppy dog eyes and it almost makes me feel worse. But then he hugs me. So I warm my arms around his neck and hug him back. I move into his lap because I feel the need to be closer to him, and I can tell from how he helps pull me into his lap, he needs to be closer too. He holds me tight and puts his head on my shoulder.

"I love you." He whispers into my ear.

"I love you too."

Dallas strokes my hair with his calloused fingers and kisses my forehead.

I pull my head back just enough so I can look him in the eye. "Dallas, I need you promise me that this won't change us. I don't want any special treatment or pity. I just want us to continue as we are, okay?" I say as sternly as I can manage, though my voice is still pretty quiet.

He nods, his fingers still tangled in my hair. "Yeah, okay. You're still you or whatever."

"Yeah. Still me." I smile a little. He smiles back.

"Am I supposed to say, 'promise to stop for me' or something now?" He asks, trying to lighten the mood.

I almost giggle. "No. That's so stupid. I hate that. Just... I don't know... say you'll always support me and stuff." I feel myself finally relaxing as he continues to play with my hair.

"Right. You mean the world to me. You're such a sweet person and I have no idea how I managed to bag you." He smirks a little when I smile. "You have done nothing but love me and care for me. Well, actually you annoy me a lot too. But-" He chuckles a bit when I give him a look. "Sorry, Doll. You are the most amazing person I know. So of course I will always be there for you as well. I'll listen and all the crap."

This time I hug him. I pull myself against him. He moves his hand from my hair and rubs my back.

"Damn, my speech that good?"

I smile. "It was good for you."

Dallas laughs briefly. "Whatever." He keeps one arm securely around my waist as the other continues to rub my back. The smell of his colone and cigarettes fill my nose in a familiar way. His body warmth is making me feel so safe and his tight hold feels like home. I'm glad I told him.

"I love you. Thanks for not freaking out." I whisper.

"I love you too."

"I'm glad I told you."

"I'm glad you did too. I have more questions though."

I sigh. "Of course."

~~~~~

An: Sorry to make the first fic a sad one! But this is something I struggle with and I'm so sick of reading fics that are so unrealistic and have no idea what they're talking about when it comes to sh. Please leave requests, beauties!!

[bangtanhoneys]

BTS MOMENTS: Jungkook & Grace - Happy Birthday, JK

He knew it was going to be a different type of birthday. Two of his hyungs were in the military, Taehyung was in Japan and he hadn’t heard from Yoongi, RM or Jimin (yet). He had been staring at his phone since the alerts had been coming in from ARMY across Weverse and Twitter, including TikTok. The world was celebrating his birthday as his clock ticked over to half-past midnight in Korea yet he felt a bit empty.

Of course, there were plans with his family later on that day and he was sure he would speak to all of his hyungs at some point but it just felt different. He felt a bit more alone than normal this year. It had felt different since they had all left the dorms - there was no military operation to secretly put up birthday banners, fill up the living area with balloons or have his favourite food cooked ready for him to wake up to. 

He didn’t hear his phone go off with alerts from everyone as he finally went to sleep, earlier than normal even for him. He didn’t clear his front door open then close, nor did he hear anyone move around in his living room. 

“Jungkook, come on, it’s time to wake up.”

The young man in question groaned and rolled over, pulling the pillow over his head. “Nooo emomma. It’s not time yet.”

The pillow was ripped away from his face as well as the covers. The birthday boy sighed and rolled over, expecting to find his mother there but instead, he found Grace watching him with amusement. 

“Noona? When did you get here?”

“Ah a magician never reveals their secrets,” she grinned as she reached over, taking hold of his hands and pulling. “Come on birthday boy.”

Of course he groaned and whined, stumbling out of bed as he was then pushed out of the bedroom and towards his living room. It was dimly lit but the blinds let in enough light to allow Jungkook’s tired eyes to adjust. 

His living room was covered in balloons - all different sizes and shapes, ranging from black to purple to white and there was a massive arch with his name across the back wall. A pile of presents had been laid out on the dining table and he could smell seaweed soup bubbling away.

“Happy birthday Jungkook,” Grace said as she squeezed his shoulders, turning him slightly towards the dining table with the presents. “Hobi and Seokjin sent theirs to me and I think they're going to call you later as well. Jungkook?”

He thought he had gotten past the crying all the time stage and he tried his best to stop but he couldn’t stop as he turned, pressing into his noona who said nothing but held him close. 

“Can I stay with you noona?” he whispered. “I don’t want to leave you alone. I don’t want you to leave me alone either.”

“I’ll always be with you,” she chuckled as she gave him a squeeze. “And don’t worry, I know you’ll always be with me as well. Everytime I go on that stage, I know I’ll have you with me. Your JK necklace will be on every night. Now come on, you’ve got presents to open and some soup to eat.”

“Thank you noona,” Jungkook sighed as he took a seat, his heart feeling lighter than it had in many days as he watched Grace bustle around the kitchen getting him his soup and something to drink, putting the bowl in front of him and then watching expectedly for him to open his presents. 

It would be a simple birthday but one he would cherish all the same. 

Happy Birthday Jungkook!

[mrs-monaghan]

Examples of these please

https://www.tumblr.com/chimsvante/716452257171931136/jimin-is-jungkooks-safe-place-not-tae-the-way?source=share

Anon this is way too easy. Let's get it

(@chimsvante stole your shit again 🤭 hope u don't mind. Blame anon)

Jimin is Jungkook's safe place, not Tae! The way Jungkook stops fidgeting when jm is near him

Okay, so that last one doesn't count. 1) because JK wasn't nervous and 2) because his leg continued to shake even after. It's a habit. I do that too. But it can also be a sign of nerves. Anyway, that last one did affect JK, but not in a calming manner. In a different way 😏😏 Get your mind out of the gutter 😂😂😂 i just mean that Jimin's touch did something to him. It doesn't have to be sexual. We've seen them arm wrestle just so they can hold hands. Seen them just hold hands for no reason. We have seen them secretly hold hands behind Suga. We have seen them find so many reasons to touch and I believe its because even after all these years they still have that electricity. Their touches still affect them even after all this time. So I think that's what happened to JK up there. He didn't expect Jimin to touch him and so he froze. People who say he's in the spectrum will blame it on that, but idk... the way he sat up right after, almost as if to gather himself makes me think different.

how he looks for him when he's sad and wanting comfort or encouragement,

So anon this is V,

And u can see there is plenty of space between Vmin. But he needed only Jimin in that moment. Jimin his boyfriend, his safe space. So he went and squeezed himself in that corner for some TLC

It would be a crime not to include this moment

Because as soon as Jimin let go of him, a crying JK seeks him out once again for his hug and comfort 😭😭😭😭 and Jimin was happy to wipe his baby's tears away 🥺🥺🥺

how he looks at him to see if his joke is funny,

ITS 2 anon. JK is telling a joke to the members, and he turns to Jimin when he gets to the punchline. He does this ALOT. He will make a joke and look at Jimin first to make sure it made him laugh. Only then will he go back to the other members.

how he always turns to him when speaking,

This one is pretty common with Jikookers anon. So you probably already know about how everyone else is facing forward but JK's facing Jimin with his whole body.

If you mean when JK talks then a good example would be ITS season 1 ep 7 where JK was sitting here next to RM

But he started making members laugh and somehow ended all the way over to Jimin

So the joke is for everyone but it was being told to Jimin. Another example would be Burn the Stage. As u can see members are dying of laughter as JK tells the joke to all of them. But once again, he's telling the joke while looking at his man.

how he always want to stand next to him even if he has to push other members away,

This one anon is in all satellite Jeon compilations. But here is a favourite where JK wanted to stand behind Jimin but Jhope wouldn't move 😂

How he always turn his body towards him when sitting.

I mean

Jimin is Jungkook's best friend. The one who knows him the most and the one Jungkook is most comfortable with! And that's been the case since the beginning. Jimin didn't take Tae's place like some like to say. Jimin was always the closet to Jungkook and still is by Jungkook's own words and actions!

[kanmom51]

Run BTS Mini field day part 1

As I promised, I’m back with a recap of this episode.

Before I start I just want to tell you guys:

GO WATCH IT. 

Like NOW!!!

It’s (inner voice speaking: don’t use a swear word) hilarious (I told you I’m loving to use that word lately).

Jin, Hobi and Suga full on entertainer mode.

JK and Tae all hyper, competitive mode turned to the max.

JM cute but also a little on the quiet side, even zoning out a little when the guys were getting ready for the fencing games (although he did have some funny moments too with his fencing and running to attend to ‘wounded’ NJ, lol).

And NJ was there too. 

Nah, just joking.  He was fun too.

Loved how they left him out to dry at the beginning, the look on his face…

LMAO.

Oh, and RM trying to show the flag, almost toppling it down and the members (not sure if it was Jin or Suga or the both saying together) first reaction would be “RM don’t break it”, lol.

So, let’s talk about Jikook a little here.

JK is working really hard on turning off, or at least tuning down his satellite mode.  I’ve seen it in the past, let’s say, couple of years.  He tries tries tries, and sometimes succeeds sometimes not so much.

Now, it’s not like he has to be next to JM all the time, and I think that when he’s focused on something else, like in competitive mode for instance, his natural gravitation towards JM is in check.  It’s the times he’s not too focused that the gravitational pull is so strong. 

We see him several times wanting to be by JM’s side.  For instance, at the very beginning of the episode he takes his place by JM’s side, until NJ comes over, a sign for JK to move to the other side.

We get from this:

To this:

JK squeezing in so he can fit in next to/ in front of JM.

But then NJ comes to take his ‘rightful’ arguable place and JK moves away.

JK kind of moves from side to side like that.

RM is done talking, they move to take places again, and there you have JK once again moving to be next to JM.

Then you have a cute Hobi Tae and JK holding hands waving them around (I don’t know what to call what they were doing, lol).  You can’t see who took who’s hands there, but you do see a millisecond before that Hobi grabbing Tae’s hand,

And then Tae turning in JK’s direction so it’s easy to assume that Tae grabbed JK’s hand to join their party (well JM was there a second ago, before JK pushed in, so maybe he was looking for JM’s hand and got JK’s instead?  Just a thought). 

Like I said, JK and Tae were hyper, while Hobi was being Hobi, lol.

Hand placement is everything.

Yep, hyper Tae indeed.

All of the members taking the oath, and Tae wilding.  Hi fiving JK then Hobi then JK again (well, hi fiving their hands that are up taking the oath..).

Ooh, then we have the Yoongi’s been working out a lot discussion.  They were going on and on, hyping the man up, and Yoongi all “no” and “be quiet”, it was hilarious.

Especially as the members had it going as a running joke throughout the episode (they had Yoongi wrestling, paragliding, rock climbing and whatever other sport you can think of). 

Also, notice Jikook's posture:

Then the games begin.

Jin on the floor crying when he finds out JK is his fencing opponent, lol.

Oh, and JK finding his way back to JM’s vicinity.

They make their fencing T-shirts, and the rest of the members and the editors too thought our little neuro divergent prince (yes, I know we don’t know for sure, but let’s be real here guys, what are the chances he’s not neuro divergent?) got his neurons all mixed up, saying he drew his according to neuron’s law, while they all thought he meant Newton’s law.

Looks like maybe they were wrong here and the little prince knew what he was talking about…

Thank you @busan_guys for that.

Jin gets the T-shirt JK made, and JK got JM’s.  Kismet? Lol.

When the games were going JK was super focused on them.  His competitive nature kicking into action, lol.  JM was more on the spectator side once he lost in the first rounds.

When JM was up for his round against Hobi, what we could see was JK focused on JM.

so much so that when JM does his back flip JK's...

JK's...

Kind of reminds me of this...

oops, so sorry, wrong gif…

This moment here

just lost in his Junkookie.

Same as the BV4 moment, just staring at JK who's modeling the sun glasses, even Hobi bumping into him there doesn't snap him out of it.

Ok, so Tumblr is being a bitch again, and limiting my images once again (I had a good run with my almost no limit posts lately, but all good things must supposedly end, and if not all, at the very least my no limit post options then).

Long story short, as frustrating as it is, I will have to say my goodbyes here and meet y'all in a part 2 of this post.

To be continued shortly...

[sleekervae]

So Good [0.6]

Masterlist

pairing: KNJ x rockstar!oc

A/N: Hi everyone, sorry I've been away for a while. School is bogging me down and life had been wild, in both good and bad ways. I want to continue writing and despite my chronic writers' block, I ain't giving up too easily. Thank you all for your patience and trust that I will be updating more stories as I go!

word count: 2016

Purple text is Korean

Kimberly jumped when her phone suddenly rang beside her, disturbing the small nap she was trying to squeeze in her bunk. She grumbled as she turned over in the small enclosure, feeling around in the sheet while being rocked over and over in the tour bus.

"Kimberly! Your phone's ringing!" Maria suddenly shouted.

Kimberly rolled her eyes, "Gee! Thanks Maria!" finally she was able to fish it out, her heart leapt when Namjoon's name flashed across her screen. It would've been close to midnight in Seoul, and he hardly ever called her this late.

Pulling her bunk curtain tighter to its hook, she answered the call, "Hello?"

A voice cleared from the other end, unfamiliar to her, "H-Hey, Kimberly! How are you?" the voice was slurred, too light to be Namjoon but the twinge of his accent was slightly eerie.

"Um... who is this?" she asked, a pit of anxiousness bubbling in her gut. From what Chloe had told her, Korean idols had their contacts guarded mercilessly, and if Namjoon got in trouble for talking to her...

"Eh? It's Namjoon, what're you talking about?" the voice tittered, a faint song playing in the background. She relaxed only a little, her curiosity growing.

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

"... what tattoo do I have on my left forearm?" she asked.

The voice paused momentarily, grumbling to himself for a quick answer when she suddenly heard a more familiar exclamation.

" -- Dangsin-eun mwo haeyo? Nae jeonhwagileul jwo!"

The voice on the speaker suddenly changed in pitch, half-laughing-half-crying as he shouted, "Joesonghabnida! Joesonghabnida! Dowajuseyo!" and a scuffle ensued.

Kimberly was partly amused, partly concerned, waiting curiously until she heard Namjoon panting into the speaker, "I saekkiya! -- Kimberly? Kim?"

"H-Hi! Namjoon?"

"Hi," he panted, giving a short sigh, "I am so sorry about that,"

"No, no, that's okay," she chuckled, "Are you okay?"

"I'm good, I'm good. My friend's being an idiot," he replied. Kimberly could still hear laughter in the background, she found his startle quite endearing.

"It's okay, I promise," she replied, "Who was that, anyway?"

"Jackson. He's a friend of mine -- if not more of a shit disturber," he replied.

"It's nice to meet you, Kimberly!" he called out. Namjoon grumbled back in Korean, a cuss word she figured.

She laughed merrily, "Aw, tell him I say 'hi',"

"And boost his ego even more? Nah," he simpered back, "I hope we didn't disrupt anything,"

"You're all good," she assured him, "We're on our way to Krakow right now so we have an off day,"

"Oh, fantastic. Are you resting up?"

"As much as I can in a moving casket," her attention diverted to a furious hissing from the common area.

"Shit! I need help!" Chloe suddenly shouted, followed by the pattering of socked feet.

"Fucking shit, Chlo! We agreed not to heat up Alfredo sauce in the microwave!" Charlotte scolded.

Namjoon laughed, hearing the commotion from the end of his speaker, "Everything okay over there?" he asked.

Kimberly sighed heavily, shaking her head, "Oh, everything's fine. If I'm quiet enough they may believe I've gone back to sleep and won't bother me," she chuckled quietly.

Maria called from outside the bunk, "You know we can hear you, Kim!" she scolded, "... Hi Namjoon!"

"Hi Namjoon!" Charlotte echoed a moment later.

"Hi RM!" shouted Chloe.

Kimberly tittered, "The girls say 'hi',"

"Tell 'em I say 'hi' back -- what?" his voice drifted off, "Of course she is! Yeogiseo naga!" and there was another short scuffle over the speaker.

"What is going on over there?" Kimberly asked, her curiosity peeking, just imagining what bafoonery was taking place in Seoul.

Namjoon sighed, clearly dejected as muffled sniggers slipped out beside him, "Jackson wants to know if you're pretty. I'm so sorry,"

Kimberly had to press her lips to keep herself from laughing, her cheeks burning with the red smile curling across her face. She choked back a giggle as she answered, "I mean -- I think I am," she shrugged bashfully.

"Then what the hell are you doing with a guy like Namjoon?" Jackson suddenly called, laughing then as Kimberly could imagine the glare Namjoon was throwing his way.

"Ib damul-eo," Namjoon grumbled.

"Dangsin-eun nae sangsaga aniya," Jackson scolded back.

Meanwhile out in the common area, Charlotte and Chloe couldn't help but overhear Kimberly's conversation, all the while Charlotte was mopping up sauce on the counter and Chloe was cleaning sauce off of the floor.

"I think she talks to him more than talks to any of us," Chloe noted.

Charlotte simpered, "They talk maybe once or twice a week, Chloe,"

"Over voice, at least," Chloe replied, "... You think Darius knows that they talk that much?"

"I'm not even gonna go there," Charlotte replied, hoping that Kimberly couldn't hear them, "I told her to be careful from the get,"

Chloe shrugged back, "I'm just saying -- if Luke was away and you found out he was talking to a super famous pop star a few times a week, wouldn't you be worried?"

Charlotte held pause, staring down at the greasy countertop as Chloe's words sent a shiver through her. She knew exactly how she would feel if she was in a similar situation. Nevertheless, she turned back to Chloe, mustering as much confidence as she could.

"As far as I know, Kim's not doing anything wrong -- so I'm not gonna' lambast her for what we think could be happening,"

Chloe knew Charlotte didn't like confrontation, she never had and was extremely uncomfortable if she had to confront one of their friends. But Chloe wasn't stupid either; she was fearful that Kimberly was falling down a hole she nor the girls couldn't dig her out from.

Kimberly meanwhile was none the wiser to her friends' conversation, "What're you guys doing?"

"We're just sitting around, having a couple beers," he replied.

"With the other guys?" she asked.

"Nah, they're out doing their own thing tonight. Believe it or not, we don't always spend all our time together," he chuckled, hoping on the off chance he didn't sound condescending.

"Fair. Spend too much time with someone, some heads are gonna roll," Kimberly replied, then she brought her voice to a whisper, "Hence I'm hiding in my bunk so I don't have to deal with the Alfredo sauce from hell,"

Chloe suddenly hollered out, "I heard that Kimberly! Stop flirting with Namjoon and come help me!"

Kimberly rolled her eyes, pulling back the curtain and sticking her head out of her bunk, "We're not flirting!" she called back.

Charlotte sighed after, crouched down over a messy spill on the floor. A zesty, garlicky smell was beginning to fill the bus, "We just need a mop," she muttered, "Maria! Open the window in the back!"

"Already on it!" and Maria hopped out of her bunk.

Kimberly huffed, though Namjoon chuckled from the other end, "I take it you gotta go?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm so sorry," she replied.

"Don't be sorry. It's Jackson's fault, anyway," she could hear Jackson snap something back in Korean, much to her amusement.

"It's always a pleasure talking to you, don't be silly," she simpered, "I'll talk to you later, go have fun!"

Namjoon said his goodbyes and hung up the phone, his eyes lingering at his lock screen a moment more. Jackson meanwhile continued to sit and smirk up at his friend, much to Namjoon's annoyance.

"What are you smirking at?" he asked as he sat down, "And how did you know my passcode?"

"Don't be mad because I know your mom's birthday," he replied, "How long have you been talking to Kimberly?"

"A few months. She's nice," Namjoon muttered quickly.

Jackson scoffed, "So was Lim Ju-eun, she seemed very nice in your old posters,"

"Oh, leave me alone," Namjoon elbowed him softly, "She's my friend, nothing more,"

"I believe you," Jackson nodded, "I also believe that if you had the opportunity to date, you would snap her up in a minute,"

"She has a boyfriend, anyway," Namjoon pointed out.

Jackson sighed, "But none of that's not stopping her from rattling around in your brain all the time,"

Namjoon rolled his eyes, deciding to reach for another beer off the table, "Jackson, whatever you're about to say, just leave it alone,"

"I'm not trying to tease you, Joon," he said, his demeanour shifting to a serious undertone, "I'm worried for you,"

"Why are you worried for me?"

"Because you're falling for somebody you clearly can't have, and if that affects your performance --"

"It's not going to affect my performance, or my duties," Namjoon assured, "I told Jin and the others; Kimberly is my friend and any affection I have for her -- or for anyone -- isn't a priority. You would do the same if it was you,"

Jackson shrugged back, his gaze averting off, "I used to think that way..." he muttered.

Namjoon cocked a brow, staring long and hard at Jackson, "Hold on -- did you meet somebody?" he asked curiously.

Jackson nodded slowly, "You can't tell the other guys,"

"I won't," Namjoon assured him.

"Haneul -- or Hannah, I guess. I met her last year, she's a student at Yonsei, and we both went to the same restaurant for lunch," he explained.

"-- Have you spoken to her?" Namjoon asked.

"A couple of times. She's a little mean at first, she absolutely hates k-pop music" he chuckled, "But the more I got to know her, the more I really came to like her. And I think she came to like me, too," the way he spoke was so wistful, words grasping for the moment as though it had just happened. Namjoon had never seen Jackson so sentimental before, he hardly ever discussed his personal life like. They were both a lot alike in that rhetoric.

"So, what happened?" Namjoon asked, feeling the 'but' of his story creeping like a stark chill.

Jackson shrugged listlessly, "I had to let her go. I knew I couldn't have her, and it wasn't fair to make her wait for God knows how long until I could renegotiate my contract," he replied, "She said she understood, but I think I fuelled her hatred of this industry even more. She hasn't replied when I tried to check in with her, I know she probably needs so space to heal but... it sucks,"

Namjoon nodded slowly, "But you still think about her?"

"More than I would like," Jackson admitted, "I had a lapse in judgement; and I know I did the right thing in the long term, but I can't help but feel I wasted her time. I never should've gotten involved with her in the first place," he turned back to Namjoon, "My point is that I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did. As much as it paints me to admit, BTS is quickly becoming a global sensation and you can't afford to have your heart broken over someone you know you can't have. Don't get attached, you have to keep your focus,"

"I am focused," Namjoon assured him, "Kimberly is just my friend, and I am gonna make sure we do what we need to do to keep us all on track," he then placed his hand on Jackson's shoulder, giving him a small squeeze, "... That doesn't mean I can't feel for your situation,"

Jackson simpered, popping the beer can open and taking a swig, "It's better this way for us. Maybe one day it'll be different, but for now..." he shook his head, "We're stuck with each other,"

Namjoon took his own can and clinked with Jackson's, "I'll cheers to that," and he took a swig. His gaze shifted again to his forearm, remembering the pressure of the pen, the swift and sharp markings when Kimberly scribbled her number on his skin. He wasn't sure why he was so full of hope back then, blinded momentarily for what could have been though he knew fully well he could never have her. Jackson was right, he had to detach himself before she consumed him, or worse he consumed her and broke her heart.

After all, April was right around the corner...

[sea-moon-star]

Bangtan Village: Pregnancy Series || Hyung Line: 1

1: Deciding to have a baby

Pairing: BTS hyung line x f!reader, namjoon x lawyer!oc, seokjin x professor!oc, yoongi x chef!oc, hoseok x fashion designer!oc

Genre: Fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, husband!BTS, dad!BTS

WC: 4k (1k each)

Summary: The part of Bangtan's life where they're all living next to each other in a privately owned township that's just outside Seoul, it's close enough for them to get to their social & work lives but far enough to provide them with privacy as they've become global legends after the end of their most successful reunion, comeback & tour of 2025-26. While they continue working simultaneously on solo & group endevours, they take it slow to focus on their personal life, especially with their growing families taking precedence. As of now, all 7 members are married, with Hoseok & Jimin already having kids of their own. But they're nowhere close to done, the number of tiny humans in this village is yet to increase.

A/N: Here's me celebrating JK's BB All Kill, we did so good Army! Fandom hug & here's a gift for all of us 🌊🌙⭐️

Kim Namjoon x Im Mae-Hwa 🌸

Unlike most couples, Namjoon and his wife had the baby talk even before they were married, or rather on the day that they ended up becoming engaged to each other. It went all the way back to that day when she’d told him that they needed to “talk” just as things were getting serious and he worried that he’d lost her even before things had become official. Here, he sat with a ring in his pocket while she looked so pale and serious, with her feet rocking constantly under the table, that he was certain she was going to break up with him. He thought that the fame had caught up, the curse of it all was finally going to end up with him losing yet another of his simple joys. Another loss for Kim Namjoon even as RM of BTS peaked. He wanted to speak, to make a last ditch effort to salvage this, to do whatever it took to convince her to change her mind but she wouldn’t allow it, she put a finger on his lips, “Please, don’t. You’re far too much of a smooth talker and I’ll fall for your charm all over again and lose my will to do this. I need to, I have to do this. You don’t understand…” Even as he struggled to fight the words at the tip of his tongue, something in her gaze told him to swallow his pride and listen. Tears glistened in her eyes as she looked at him and said, “I have been hiding something from you. I never wanted to, I wanted to tell you right away but it was never the right moment. It was too soon, then things were going so well that got swept away in the romance of it all and now it’s too late to fix it, but I have to come clean. I know you brought me here to propose to me, I heard you talking to the waiter as I stepped out of the washroom, but don’t. We can’t do this, not until you know what you’re signing up for. Icanthavekidsican’tbeamom.” She said without a single breath between the words, knowing that it was the only way to get them out without them dying in her throat. “I know you want kids, I do too. And I know your parents want them too, I know you’re old enough and you want to settle down more than ever. But… now you see why we can’t? You’d make a great father and I’d want nothing more but to raise children with you, I can’t imagine doing it with anyone else. You want a house full of kids, I’m not even sure I can give you one. So I’d understand if you change your mind, you haven’t even given the ring yet. It’s not too late, think it through.” But to her utter shock, he sighed and smiled like she hadn’t just given him the most devastating news of his life. He reached out to squeeze her hand as he got out of his chair and went down on one knee, pulling the ring out as he said, “It doesn’t matter. I love you. I want to marry you. If there’s anyone I want as my life partner, my best friend, my companion, it’s you. Mother of my children or not, that’s just one of the many roles. We could adopt, try IVF or surrogacy, or we could just not have kids altogether. I’m okay with whatever we decide, just as long as I get to decide with you beside me. That’s my only deal breaker, not this. Never this. So will you, do me the honor of being my wife and grow old with me by your side?” And as tears of joy and relief streamed down her face, she nodded her head off as he slipped the ring on. And on the day they signed their marriage certificate, they also decided to file their paper work for adoption, knowing that it would take it’s own sweet time to come but they were ready. They had a head start to baby planning, afterall. And he’d never given up on the hope that she would be his baby momma. 🌸

Kim Seokjin x Choi Yun-Hee 💐

Jin was on video call from set, as he rejuvenated himself from a busy day at work by watching his sister in law and you play with his nephew & nieces. As the phone got passed around the house like a hot potato with everyone wanting to talk to him, the one person he wanted to speak to the most was busy with the youngest addition to the family. She was putting the littlest one to bed, rocking his cradle with her eyes trained on the rosy cheeked infant and even as Ahreum passed the phone to her, before he could say a word, she shushed him. “Yaaaah! He’s sleeping. Keep it an octave lower.” The same person who had fallen in love with him for his high triple notes and silver voice was now telling him to be quiet. He found it hilariously ironic but followed her lead. How could he not? She had him wrapped around his tiny little pinky, even though it had been 3 years since they had gotten married and way past their supposed honeymoon phase. “Jagi, I know he has my genes and he’s cute and all, but you do remember, I’m world wide handsome right? I have to be back in 2 minutes, spare me a second, wont’ you?” He exclaimed and her cheeks matched the colors of her blush as she turned to him sheepishly and said, “Hi, Jinnie. You’ll always be my number one, you know that! How’s your day going, love? Have you been hydrating? Please take care, it’s been a long day. You look exhausted, when will you be back? What do you think will help you relax? I’ll keep myself free when you return, we’ll do whatever you want.” She bombarded him with questions as he cut her off and retorted, “Whatever I want? Do you promise? Then let’s make a baby tonight.” “Yes, sure.” She replied without even registering what he asked. Until it sank in a moment later. “Wait what?” She asked with a “o” framing her face as he grinned till his ears turned red and replied, “I know we we both wanted to focus on our careers and take things slow so we could enjoy each other’s company but don’t you think it’s time, jagi? Seeing you with him? I don’t think I can wait any longer. And I think hyung and noona are done having kids, if we start now, they’ll be able to grow up together. Won’t that be wonderful?” “You know I always wished I had a sibling, like you and your brother, I think you’re right. The baby fever is at an all time high and usually, I used to hold myself back because it wasn’t the right time, the right place, the right finances, always something or the other. But the way in which my body is reacting to this little bundle of joy, I think it’s time. This a sign, let’s do it.” She affirmed with a nod and he flashed her one of his trademark kisses and ended the call, fervently anticipating what was to come. 💐

Min Yoongi x Kang Deu-Lae 🌼

Min Yoongi & his wife were the kind of couple to plan everything down to the dot. They had a timeline for everything, from first kiss to living in, to getting married & down to the time when they'd start trying for kids. 2 years into their marriage, they'd promised each other. And as expected, as the date drew near, they had already mapped out the changes that were to be made accordingly- work schedules to be cleared, his wife had to stop consuming alcohol, he had to eat healthier & exercise, they wanted the best chance at conceiving. Yoongi carried a bottle of wine, the last one he knew his wife would have before they started officially trying. And she'd called him over to have a meal of his favorites at her restaurant, knowing that his diet would change too. This was a night to let go & mark the end of their honeymoon phase & enter the new era of their married life. As he got near the restaurant with a spring in his step, excited to get some quality time with his wife after a long day at work for both of them, he was surprised to see the number of light's on & cars parked outside. She'd called you after working hours & usually, you both would have the place to yourself but it seemed as if the staff hadn't left yet. To his utter shock, when he opened the door, what he didn't expect to see was you being paraded around the restaurant while the staff lifted you up on their shoulders as you made everyone around drink from a popped bottle of champagne. Everyone seemed to be in high spirits & celebrating that they didn't even realize you had entered.

It was only when his wife made eye contact with him that she quickly instructed her staff to put her down on the ground & dismissed everyone, they scampered away not wanting to bear the brunt of their head chef. They knew that the same jolly person celebrating with them was also capable of being a strict boss in a split second if needed. Yoongi loved that about her, knowing that while you were one of the most kind hearted & positive people in real life, when at work- you took on an alter ego that went hard & didn't compromise in the slightest. It helped him realize that there were others who'd understand the duality he himself faced both as Yoongi, BTS' Suga & Agust D. Although he loved her, that would never change but in this moment- all he could feel was anger & a sense of betrayal. He had no intentions of being the first one to make a move, seeing as she was the one who had ruined their night, not only had she decided to include others in what should've been their night alone, but moreover she had celebrated even without feeling the need to have him there. It was more like she had forgotten all about him, maybe this date wasn't as important as he'd assumed, perhaps she had changed her mind about wanting to start a family with him. He knew that her career was important to her, as was his to him. But if he could drop everything as per their planning & their timeline, couldn't she? It was something they had both agreed to before their marriage, so wasn't he only being fair in asking for that same effort to be reciprocated? As the room emptied out, with just the both of them left gazing at each other from a distance, she felt her legs go weak. They felt like jelly, she wasn't sure whether if it was the fact that she was been lifted around & now the floor didn't feel stable anymore or if it was the alcohol that was messing with her balance or just the way Yoongi was staring at her which caused her lose her mind, but she tripped over her own feet & stumbled forward. Yoongi rushed ahead out of instinct as he grabbed her before she hit the ground, lifting her up & making her sit on a chair. She was drunk, that was so unlike her that he felt another flare of anger but he swept it aside, knowing that she needed him right now & this would be better dealt with at a time when she was sober.

"Here, drink this. You'll feel better. Have you eaten yet?" He gave her a glass of water & noticed her stomach rumbling. He knew only too well how ironic but common it was for chef's to be the ones to be surrounded by food but constantly neglecting their own hunger pangs. He knew how often you worked full shifts without managing to eat yourself, sustaining a kitchen at one of the most popular restaurants in Itaewon wasn't an easy job, after all. He sighed & entered the kitchen himself, looking for food that he could give her, even though he hadn't eaten dinner either. He grabbed a pack of bread sticks with butter & gave them to her, intending to go back to the kitchen & cook them a meal. But her hand caught his wrist, holding him back from going back in, as she whispered,"Yoongs, please don't go. I'm sorry... I can explain." "Y/N, let me go... I need to get some food in you. Some real food! Let me cook us some pasta quickly, & then I'll be back. I'm not going anywhere." "You're mad at me, I can tell. You called me by my name, you only do that when you're upset with me. I'll cook you a meal, I'll make this up to you." She exclaimed as she got up from her chair & felt dizzy a minute later, seeing stars before her eyes as she tried to make it to the kitchen. Yoongi shook his head & took matters into his own hands, quite literally- as he lifted her up in his arms, even as she protested & took her to the kitchen, placing her on the counter top. "Okay? Now you can see that I'm not leaving you? I'm right here, I'm going to cook while you sit there quietly, alright? Please, baby?" He included the last bit for emphasis, knowing that she wouldn't be reassured without it otherwise. As he handed over the bowl of pasta to her, she gave him the first bite & he took it begrudgingly when she added, "You must be hungry too, you always say we shouldn't take our anger out on our food, so please eat with me?" When they'd finished eating, both of them feeling an improvement in their moods with their bellies full, she decided to break the silence by getting straight to the point, knowing that he wouldn't have any patience for her stories. "We know from unofficial sources that we're getting a Michelin star! I know what today means & I had all the plans to focus on that, on us but... you know how huge this is? I just got swept away in..." "Wait.. what? You're now a Michelin star chef? OMG, I'm so proud of you, love." He said immediately, cutting her cut off & catching her off guard. "You are?" She asked, as she pinched herself on the arm, checking if this was a dream or not. He let out a whoop of excitement & did a little dance around the kitchen, as if to show his happiness. "Baby, I know we had plans & yes, I was a little bit agitated but now that I know why... it doesn't matter. None of it matters. I'm so overjoyed for you, I'm proud of you! We can put everything else on hold while you focus on this yeah? Don't worry, I'm on your side, I'll support you in every way you need." Tears glistened in her eyes as she heard him express his love, & she smiled as she reached out to hug him tight & he lifted her through the air, getting her off the table onto the ground. "I appreciate what you just said, what you're offering me is something that I could only dream of. But as kind as you're being, I can't take it. I don't want this to change our timeline, today was an exception. But none of this success matters if I don't have you by my side to celebrate. I want to grow in my career but only if I also get to come home & share my wins with you & our kid... And before you object to what I'm saying, I'm going to quote you- you just said that you'd support me through anything I need- well, this is what I need. So are you in, you did promise you'd be on my side?" She said as she tilted her head & gave him her best puppy eyed look, which she knew would work.

Sure enough, he nodded in the smallest possible way, "I still don't think it's a great idea but we can think it through & if that's what you really want, then I guess we can make it work..." His lips betrayed him as they turned upwards to form a smile when he saw her fist pump into the air as she grinned from ear to ear at his answer. This was a strange turn of events despite all your planning, but if anyone knew of how life can turn out unexpectedly, it was him. And despite all the possible pain & loss he'd been through, he was also a firm believer that good things would come his way too- after all, that's how he'd found BTS, how he'd come across you.🌼

Jung Hoseok x Baek Hae-Baragi 🌻

Hobi was the first of the Bangtan brood to have a kid with his fashion designer, wife who he’d met through his sister-Jiwoo. Geum-hee was the first child in the family and rightfully spoilt with love by everyone. His daughter who’s name meant brightness, had truly brought light into the family with all her Samchuns & Imos doting on her, never leaving her alone for a second. She was pampered in a way that she wouldn’t even sleep without someone rocking her in their arms & as she grew up- she had Jimin’s eldest daughter, Ae-Cha who was the same age as her, alongside to do everything. However, in the recent times with the birth of Jimin’s second daughter, Mi-Cha, their attention had shifted & play time with Ae-Cha had reduced drastically. Even as adults kept her company at all times, she missed having someone younger who could keep up with her speed & interests. And today was no different, as soon as Hobi picked Geum-hee from pre-school, Geum-hee’s slouched & sulked in the back of the her car even as Hobi tried to get her to frown to turn into a smile. Usually singing alongsider her dad in the car, cookie dough ice cream from her favorite parlour, some cuddles from her dad & painting her nails were enough to distract her & make her happy but it had been hours since Hobi had been trying but all in vain. He’d been clinging to her, desperate to not leave her side as she moped around but she took that split second of his distraction to run into her room & close the door behind her. The sound of the slammed door shook both parents, Hobi’s wife widened her eyes at him, wondering what could’ve gone so wrong in her absence. “You try, I’ve done everything possible but nothing. She hasn’t said a word since she got back. I don’t know what’s wrong.” Hobi said as he tried to appear calm & nonchalant but it was obvious in the way that he clenched his jaw & paced around that he was anything but relaxed. The only thing that kept him going was the reassuring smile of his wife as she made her way to her daughter’s room, he trusted her to get through when he couldn’t. She knocked softly on her daughter’s door, only to be answered by the soft sobs that quite frankly broke their hearts. Hobi was one step away from knocking the door down, hearing his daughter’s wails pierce the silence at home. But his wife stopped him, gesturing at him to be patient until she’s tried. Geum-hee’s mother knew her daughter well enough, she saw the flutter of shadows from the cracks beneath the door. She knew that even if her daughter didn’t speak, she was here, she was listening. And so she sat down with her back to the door, hoping that her daughter would do the same on the other side & give her a chance. “It’s okay to cry, sweet girl. I know bad things happen, and it’s better to get it off your chest than to hold it in. I’m sorry you had a rough day, little one. Mommy & daddy have those too… but you know what keeps us going? We know that we’re not alone in it, as long as we’re together, everything will be alright… we have Hope on our side, how could it not?” Hobi admired the way his wife spoke to their daughter like she was her own person, not like a child who didn’t understand nor like an adult that was in a smaller body, but like someone who was young & yet who had her own choices to make & voice to be heard. “That’s the thing, I don’t have anyone. Everyone has someone or the other, mommies & daddies are together, siblings at school are together, I always get left alone.” Their daughter mumbled, as both parents train their ear to the door, to hear her soft words. “But you have us, cutie. You know appa would never leave you alone…” Hobi prattled anxiously but his daughter, hoping she knew that he’s always put her first. It was his wife & his rule that no matter what, Geum-hee had to come first. “But that’s not fair, appa. You shouldn’t have to choose between your girls. At the rollercoaster, you sat with me but even mommy was scared but she was all alone.

That always happens, you always take my side, never mommys.” The color left Hobi’s face when he heard that & realized the message he had been passing onto his daughter, he lip synced a “sorry” to his wife & his face sank into his palms, in regret. His wife quickly tried to repair the situation as she said, “But baby, omma doesn’t mind. Appa always asks omma if she’s okay, & only when I say yes, does he do that. Your appa loves me a lot & he takes care of me, you don’t have to worry.” “I know that but I don’t like you being alone. And sometimes, when you & I have girl’s nights- appa is alone. When we travel, we’re alone in the compartment with the other women, when we shop, he’s never there in our section, he should have a boy to give him company too.” Geum-hee shared & Hobi’s heart melted at the concern in his daughter’s voice for him, he lifted his face from his palms & leans against the door frame, as if willing the door to disappear so he could touch his daughter. “I know dad has his brothers from BTS, but they’re not always here. You both are not always with me. So the best solution is if we get me a brother. That way, everyone has someone- just like Jiwoo Imo & Appa.” She added, her voice getting louder & firmed, as if she was proud at having landed at this solution all by herself. “Is that what would make you, happy? If you had a sibling?” Geum-hee’s mom asked with bated breath & her loud resounding, “YES” made the answer quite clear. It was a split second decision, Hobi & his wife spoke soundlessly as he arched his eyebrow, asking her if she agreed with their daughter’s demands & her shrug as if to say that she had no choice but to do what their daughter asked. They both loved their daughter more than anything & although it was far from the right time to have a kid, they had gone back to using protection & birth control, their careers were in full swing, a 5 year gap wasn’t even ideal, until now they’d been of the opinion that one child was more than enough. But this changed everything, she changed everything. “Baby, if we say yes, will you open the door?” Hobi asked gently & his chest heaved in relief as he heard the click of the lock opening & his daughter put her arms around him & his wife. “Geum-hee, even if we have a baby, it may not be a brother… that’s not something appa & omma can decide, it’s upto luck. Is that okay?” Geum-hee’s mother tried to explain, not wanting there to be any misunderstanding. She knew how big of a decision this was for her family & wasn’t willing to go ahead until she got full clarity & in this case, approval from her daughter. “Does that mean I’ll have a sister? Like Ae-Cha has Mi-cha? That’s okay too!! Daddy will be still be alone but atleast you can give him company while I enjoy with my little sister… or brother. I don’t mind, I’m just excited to be a big sister!” Geum-hee squeeled & her parents smiled warmly at her answer & kissed her senseless, surprisingly happy at the turn of events. 🌻

To Be Continued... 🌊🌙⭐️

[inkvulture]

Tagged by the brilliant @rms-writes!

Find the phrase: "I miss you."

Your phrase: "Why now?" (Or any variation)

Forced to accept defeat, Dandy trudges her way back to the castle grounds in tears. She gasps, the cold air like knives in her lungs, guilt and grief and panic ballooning in her until there's no more space in her chest, until she's suffocating. She opens the back gate to the gardens with shaking hands and heads straight for the Silver Oak, the only tree for miles. The only friend for miles. "I-I'm stuck here," She wheezes, collapsing over the roots and pretending they're her father's lap. "I can't get out. What am I gonna do?" Lonineness bit at her heart as the question became not "when" but "if". How could such a simple word be so deeply terrifying? Two letters is all it takes to break someone. What an awful, awful world. "I want to go home." She whispers, squeezing her eyes shut and sending a quiet wish with her tears as they fall to the ground. "I just want to go home." She isn't sure if she's asleep or if she's just defeated, but eventually her heart slows down and the tears stop. The world softens a bit around her, and when she opens her eyes again, she's on the couch in the farmhouse. "Feel better?" Her father asks, coming around the corner from the kitchen. Dandy stares blankly at him. "Dad?" "Ah, well, no. I was able to attach myself to a strong memory of yours." The visage of her father shifts, briefly revealing a dark swirling form. "I hope you don't find it too presumptuous. I was only trying to help." Transfixed by the creature's benevolent presence, Dandy sits up and wipes her face with her sleeve. "Who are you, then?" "My name is Mora. Long ago, I was the ruler of this place. Now my people have forgotten me, and I lie here in my final resting place within the Silver Oak. Your magic has strengthened me somewhat, it seems." "Oh. Yeah, I've always been good with plants." She sniffs. "If I give you more of my magic, can you help me actually get home? I miss my parents and my bed and the family cow. I even miss Sophia." "If enough magic is brought to bear, it is possible that I may break free and assist you." Mora drops the mask of Dandy's father now, becoming instead a sweeping, person-like shape that billows like a drop of ink in water. They settle next to Dandy on the couch. "However, I do not believe that you possess such power. Alas, it is not possible for me to help you in such a way at the moment."

Tag list (no pressure, comment/ask if you want to be added!): @sarah-sandwich-writes , @kmlaney , @primroseprime2019

[stacywaters]

Written in the Pages (RM) CH5

𝄆 Namjoon POV 𝄇

"I have to go to bed. I'll talk to you later"

I frown at the blue screen. Was that too far? I shouldn't have done that. Now she probably doesn't like me. She hates me. She-

"Namjoon? Everything alright?"

"Uh, yeah." I say, still staring at the phone.

Hoseok takes the phone from my grasp, reading through the messages.

"Woah"

"Hey! Give it back!" I yell, trying to steal it away.

"I didn't know you were such a flirt"

"Well, it didn't do me any good. She hates me now."

"Why do you say that?" Hoseok asks.

"Did you read the message? She left immediately. I should've known it was too far."

"Maybe she just got flustered." He suggests. I shrug. "How about you go apologize to her tomorrow. I'm sure you didn't upset her that much. She just said she had to go, you probably didn't upset her."

"You think so?"

"Yes. Now you go to bed too. We've had a long day, you need your rest." Hoseok ushers me to bed.

𝄆 𝄞 𝄇

The next day I stumble up to her desk. She sets down her book and glances up at me. She flinches and looks away, staring at the birds out the window.

"Listen Y/N, I just.. wanted to say I'm sorry"

"What?" She asks, her sight going right back up to me.

"I'm sorry for the message I sent you last night. It was too far, I should've known you weren't-"

"It's okay! I know you didn't mean it that way" She laughs.

"What way?"

"I know you were only joking," she bites her lip, "people like you don't like people like me"

"I like you!" I defend.

"Yeah! As a friend. Ditto!" She says.

But..I like you as more than a friend.

I start, "but I-"

"We still on for lunch today?"

𝄆 𝄞 𝄇

𝄆 Y/N POV 𝄇

I frown as I think back to the moment from earlier. Why does he have to taunt me like this? Make me confused... I know he'll never see me as anything more than a friend. I have to be okay with that.

"Y/N, you okay?" Namjoon asks.

"Namjoon-Oppa!"

Two girls run up to us, "could we talk to you for a second?"

"Uh," he pauses, glancing over at us, "sure?"

"Alone?" She asks.

"If you have something to say, you can say it to all of us." Jin says, getting annoyed.

"Fine." She huffs, "Namjoon-Oppa, I like you. Do you want to go out with me?"

"U-uh.." he looks over at me. Why is he looking at me?? Rubbing it in my face? "I appreciate it, but I'm not interested."

"W-well you might have fun! At least give me a chance, oppa." She pouts.

"Sorry, I already like someone else."

A choke forms in my throat. I cough, bringing all the attention to me. Great.

"Y/N, you okay?" Jungkook rests a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah yeah!" I croak, "I uhm, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Be right back"

I stumble from my chair to the familiar beige halls. Pressing my hands to the sinks edge, I glare at the image across from me in the mirror.

He likes someone already? I should've known, she must be pretty great for him to turn them down. They're beautiful.

No, no he's smarter than that. He wouldn't date someone for looks. She probably is amazing. And she's definitely lucky.

"Ugh, I can't believe that! That was so embarrassing"

"Don't even worry about it girl! He's stupid anyway."

Voices of the earlier girls echo against the brick walls. I rush into a stall, hands clutching the lock. I try to quiet my heavy breathing.

"I mean, who could she be?"

"I don't know!" Her friend says, "but it doesn't matter. He doesn't have any taste, clearly. He isn't worth it."

My grip tightens. Wanting to jump out there and defend him. Wanting to chew them out. I force myself to calm my nerves and slump down. To fade to the door until they leave.

"And that girl earlier?" The girl who confessed starts, "what a joke. Why is she even sitting with them?"

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying desperately to release the anger. My face burns. A tear slips down onto my shaking hands.

"She's been sitting with them for a few days now. They must be doing it as a joke, they would never sit with someone like her on purpose."

"After how that confession worked out? Maybe they would." Their laughs slowly start to fade as they leave the bathroom.

I creep out of the bathroom, checking first that they really left. Then I let out my frustrations, tears streaming down my face. I make no attempt to stop them.

𝄆 Jungkook POV 𝄇

I follow behind Y/N. I hope she's okay.. she seemed kinda thrown today. Plus I want to make sure she isn't actually choking. I duck behind the lockers as the two girls from earlier strut into the same room

Oh no...

They gossip for a bit. Bashing Namjoon-hyung and basically just feeling bad for themselves. Then they start to say mean things about Y/N. They must not know she's in there. I urge myself to stay calm and not go in and fight them.

How could they say such things? From what we know so far, she's just a sweet, quiet girl.

Eventually they leave and I move to hide again. I wait for Y/N to come out, but she doesn't.

I begin to hear shattered sobs. Twisting around the corner, I contemplate the idea of going in and comforting her. All before she starts to speak:

"Why... can I never be good enough. Why am I always lacking. Why can't anywone.." she cries.

I start walking in, "HEY! What do you think you're doing?" A teacher calls out.

I shuffle backwards, "what do you-.. OOOHHHHH, this is the WOMEN'S restroom, my bad!"

The teacher continues in. I spare one last longing glance towards where Y/N is, then rush back to the rest of the group.

[thearmyprof]

Waiting for Sunflowers to Bloom Ch. 3

Rating: M

Pairing: Jin/Jungkook

Word count: ~17k (ch. 3: 3,776)

Chapter: 3/5

Genre: Fluff, Non-idol!AU, Fantasy, Fairy Tale

Warnings: No major warnings, see tags below for more details

Prince Jungkook was foretold to have a prosperous and fulfilling life, as long as he weathered the storms on the horizon first. Luckily, he has his trusted companion and best friend, Seokjin, and a wood full of fae folk to help him. A bedtime story about a kind-hearted prince that defeats evil, heals his people, and finds love along the way.

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44570485

Chapter List:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Tags: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Minor Violence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Fairy Tale with a Twist, Fairy tale remix, Nymph Kim Namjoon | RM, Dragon Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Leprechaun Min Yoongi | Suga, Pixie Park Jimin (BTS), Changeling Kim Taehyung | V, Protective Bangtan Boys | BTS, minor character death

CHAPTER THREE.

Time slips away. Jungkook celebrates his seventeenth birthday with his new found woodling friends. They keep their soft spoken promises to not leave him alone. This is made easier as autumn shifts into winter again. Winter is even harsher this year than last. The snow falls heavily and no one wants to spend much time outdoors. Hobi eventually retreats to his room to fall into his annual slumber. This year, though, with Hobi’s consent, Jungkook visits him often to curl up among the dragon’s warm scales to nap and spend time with his sleeping friend.

The woodling fae companions notice, ever since the unfortunate poisoning incident, that Jungkook is wont to have days of melancholy. As the snow piles higher, and excuses to get outside for sunshine and physical activity grow scarce, they often catch Jungkook staring into the fire or sleeping all day with Hobi.

One evening, during one of these melancholy days, Yoongi and Namjoon find Jungkook nestled by the fire. They sit down in the chairs next to him without him noticing their arrival. Only when Namjoon reaches out a hand and gently shakes Jungkook’s shoulder does the younger man blink at them in recognition.

“Little princeling, is everything alright?” Yoongi asks.

Jungkook nods in response, his brows pinched a little in confusion.

Namjoon gives Jungkook’s shoulder a squeeze. He asks, “Is there something that ails you?”

“I’m fine, hyungs,” Jungkook says. 

Both older men look at Jungkook for a moment in silence. Jungkook goes back to staring into the fire.

“What are you thinking about, princeling?” Yoongi asks.

Jungkook hums before saying, “Wondering about home. Well, no, wondering about my friend. He said he would come to me after he settled things at the castle. But I’ve heard nothing from him in a year.”

The wood nymph and the leprechaun exchange a loaded glance. Yoongi says, “Is this the captain of the guard? You’ve not spoken of him much.”

“We grew up together. He was my attendant before the Queen promoted him. Seokjin hyung. I miss him dearly. I hope he is faring well.”

Jungkook pulls his legs up to his chest, tucking his feet into the cushion of the chair. 

“We’ve not had much news from the human kingdom,” Namjoon says, tone cautious. “I could send for information and maybe see if we can find out what is delaying your friend.”

Jungkook brightens at this. He says, “Really? Oh, that would be wonderful. Thank you, hyung.”

“It will take a while. Much of the woodland is sleeping now. News will come more readily once spring returns,” Namjoon warns.

Jungkook nods his head vigorously. He looks more awake than he has in days. He says, “That’s okay, hyung. Any news will be welcome when it comes. I just hope all is well.”

“I will do what I can, little princeling,” Namjoon says. He gives Jungkook a warm, dimpled smile.

Jungkook returns the smile as he says, “Thank you, hyung.”

~

No news comes until late spring. And it does not come from Namjoon’s connections at all, but from Jimin and Taehyung recently returned from a trip to a nearby settlement to trade. They had spent time meeting up with fae from other realms while they traded magical potions and goods. These fae brought tidings of the human kingdoms.

“There are rumblings of war, hyung,” Jimin says to Namjoon.

Both Namjoon and Jungkook had been reading quietly by the fire after dinner, when the pair of travelers settled down next to them to bring the tidings. 

“War?” Jungkook asks with a meek voice.

Both Jimin and Taehyung nod grimly.

“There seems to be a lot of unrest in your realm, little princeling,” Taehyung continues. “Ill rumors are spreading because the King has not been sighted by a soul in six months. Meanwhile, the military seems to be recalling troops and stockpiling goods, weapons, and armor.”

“How can the kingdom go to war if there is no King to lead the troops?” Namjoon asks.

Jimin coughs quietly, as if to clear his throat. He says, “I have one theory. I think the Queen might have assumed a shadow rule. She’s been practically acting as regent for years now. If she’s been vying for control of the realm, this is the next logical step.”

“And what of the King?” Jungkook whispers. He’s visibly paled in the last few minutes.

“I’m sorry, princeling,” Jimin murmurs as he runs a comforting hand on Jungkook’s shoulder.

Taehyung nods and says, “If no one has seen him, it’s probably not good news, dear princeling.”

Jungkook nods slowly and swallows the lump in his throat. He doesn’t understand his emotions. He barely knows his father. The King spent more time with courtiers and advisors, rarely deigning to set his eyes on the prince. He feels silly being sad about the news of his possible death.

“We will try to find out more, princeling,” Namjoon says.

~

As the summer grows late, no more news comes from the human kingdom. The same troubling rumors of military expansion and possibly war on the horizon doesn’t abate. Jungkook spends the season outdoors, traveling the forest and spending time with the plants and creatures there.

One of Jungkook’s favorite tasks becomes healing the small injuries of woodland creatures. Turns out the young prince has a talent for potions and salves after reading through the fae’s large library. He collects healing plants from the woods, turning them into concoctions and balms that speed recovery, keep fevers at bay, and aid in sleep.

The woodland creatures learn through the whispers of the forest of Jungkook’s healing prowess. Soon, Jungkook finds that creatures purposefully cross his path during his wandering in order to be treated. He takes to carrying around a sack of healing items in order to help who he can.

One afternoon, while wandering a path looking for a particular herb Jungkook was running low on, the Prince comes across a small doe. Her leg looks like it had been potentially caught in a trap, but somehow pulled free. She is limping, barely able to walk at all.

“Oh, you poor thing,” Jungkook murmurs.

He sets to begin helping the deer immediately, pulling out his salves for aiding the recovery. He bandages the leg, whispering kind words to the doe as he works. He sings a lullaby that Seokjin used to sing to him when he was a boy and the deer waits patiently for his nimble fingers to finish their healing.

“You should be okay now,” Jungkook says. “Be careful for the next few days to not lose the bandaging.”

The doe immediately stands up, clearly relieved to have more ability to move now. She darts off into the woods, leaving Jungkook to clean up his supplies.

Where the doe had lain, there remains a beautiful silver comb. Looking at it, Jungkook is reminded of something else from his childhood—of Seokjin fixing the prince’s unruly hair, his tender ministrations easing Jungkook’s nerves before going before the King and courtiers. Jungkook slips the comb into his bag to bring home with him.

Back at home, Jungkook finds his dragon friend lazily sitting by the creek in his human form. The sunlight beams down, warming Hobi’s body as he lets one hand skim the moving water.

“Hey, hyung, have a good day?” Jungkook asks.

Hobi hums an assent. “What about you, little princeling?”

“I helped an injured doe,” Jungkook says. “She gave me this comb as a gift. Isn’t it pretty?”

Jungkook holds the silver comb up to the sunlight to show the dragon the present. Hobi’s eyes flash wide, when he catches the glimpse of something on the metal in the sun.

“Drop it, princeling,” Hobi barks.

Jungkook drops the comb immediately. Hobi rushes forward and grabs the prince’s hand. He pulls Jungkook to the creek and thrusts his hand under the running water.

“There is poison on the tines of that comb, little princeling,” Hobi murmurs as he makes sure Jungkook’s hand is completely clean. “I will have to look more closely to see what type of poison. You said it was a doe that gave it to you?”

Jungkook nods mutely watching the cold creek water run over his hand.

“Probably someone in disguise. I’ll tell Namjoon when he returns. He’ll hopefully be able to gain some more information. Don’t worry, little princeling.”

~

The news from the human-kind grows more grim as the autumn leaves begin to show their many colors on the deciduous trees heralding in Jungkook’s eighteenth year of life. Armies are amassing along the border, on both sides of the border, of two of the human realms—the birthplace of Jungkook and the birthplace of Jungkook’s stepmother. As the whispering of war grows, Jungkook’s worry and melancholy grow as well.

“It doesn’t make sense though,” Jungkook muses over a meal one day. “Why would the Queen go to war with her parents’ kingdom?”

“We don’t know what trials she faced in her birth realm,” Namjoon says, his jaw tense. “Perhaps it was not a happy place for her.”

Jungkook nods at this. An unhappy childhood in a cold castle without nary a sighting of his own parents, he can understand that.

“I do worry about all the soldiers drawn into this feud,” Jimin sighs. “Come spring, when the fighting begins in earnest, there will be many casualties.”

Jungkook feels the pang in his heart as he thinks of Seokjin. When he last saw his friend, he was the head of the royal guard. Surely, he is involved in the war efforts.

“Where are you, our little princeling?” Taehyung says in Jungkook’s ear.

Jungkook gives Taehyung a wan smile. He says, “Sorry, I am worried. For the people. For my friend. It all leaves my heart uneasy.”

After Taehyung gives the prince a sad smile, Jungkook turns and asks Namjoon, “Still no word about the King?”

Namjoon shakes his head sadly. “I fear when we do finally receive news, it will be ill-tidings.”

“Come,” Hobi speaks up in a bright voice. “I saw frost on the grass this morning. I grow sleepier by the day. Let’s talk of happier things tonight, while I can enjoy being awake with you all.”

The fae all smile at Hobi fondly. Jungkook leans into his dragon friend softly.

“Yes,” Jungkook says. “Let us speak of happier things.”

~

As spring blossoms and the earth warms, the normally joyful atmosphere is dampened with a tension, felt throughout the forest. The normal celebration at the renewal of life feels muted and the occupants of the little cottage find themselves on edge waiting for the ill tidings to come.

All except for Jungkook, who seems to have taken on more energy after the winter slumber. From sun up to sun down he spends outdoors, traveling the length and breadth of the forest. Most days, he convinces someone to go with him—the fae still unsure about leaving their youngest charge alone after the repeated attempts on his life.

Sooner rather than later, the news they were fearing came. On the same day, the birds brought tiding of violence erupting on the borders and the trees brought the strongest rumors yet of the King’s passing. The war has begun. The fae look to their princeling cautiously, seeing only the tick in his jaw as any indication he heard any of the reports at all.

The next morning Jungkook heads out again, only returning in mid afternoon to start working on the earth outside the cottage. He tills and plants in a small patch of land. When one by one the fae come by to ask what he is planting, he just smiles softly and says, “You shall see.”

Spring warms into summer, although the air remains tense and subdued. Every morning brings messages of new battles fought along the borders. Tales of refugees fleeing the towns on the line between the two territories come by woodland creatures and travelers alike.

Each of the fae do what they can to help the innocents caught up in the violence. Yoongi and Namjoon organize supplies and bring them to the camps that have sprung up just outside the forest. Jimin and Taehyung travel further to bring medicine and food to the large makeshift hospital that is erected in the East. Hobi leaves for weeks at a time and no one is quite sure what he is doing.

Jungkook, on the other hand, sticks to his routine. He tends to his garden and travels his route around the cottage, collecting supplies and herbs for the home and helping those that cross his path. Along with the wildlife he’s grown accustomed to healing, he now also helps the occasional refugee that comes his way. He does his best to not make a fuss about such interactions, as he knows his fae companions are sure to not wanting him spending too much time with strangers.

However, he craves the moments he comes across a new person. Each traveler brings news from the frontlines of the battles and those fighting. He just knows Seokjin is out there fighting, but he has yet to receive any word of him. With each passing day, Jungkook refuses to give up hope that he will hear news of his friend.

Jungkook crosses the creek after tending to his garden and follows his now well-worn trail into the forest. Midsummer is coming up soon and the berries are beginning to ripen. Jungkook stops along his walk to gather many into his satchel that he brought along specifically for this purpose. The black juice of the berries stains his fingertips purple as he sneaks a few into his mouth. The berries are still warm from the sun and incredibly sweet.

When he cannot fill his bag any further, Jungkook continues on his way down the trail. Birds are singing quietly, as they have been doing this year, subdued as the rest of the world. A gray rabbit crosses his path and stops to sniff the air towards him. Jungkook kneels down to be closer to eye-level with the bunny.

“Hello, there,” Jungkook says. A smile graces his lips.

The rabbit thumps its hind leg once and then continues on its way back into the underbrush.

Jungkook continues his walk.

Later in the afternoon, Jungkook comes across a young girl, sitting under a large evergreen tree. She’s dirty and her clothes are certainly worse-for-wear. If Jungkook were to guess, he thinks she is about ten years old, maybe a bit older, depending on how malnourished she truly is. Next to her is a bag that looks almost as big as her torso. Propped up on the bag is a large stick that Jungkook imagines she’s been using to help her walk and maybe to defend herself as well.

“Hail, there,” Jungkook says, smiling. “What brings you this far into the forest, young miss?”

The girl’s eyes widen a bit upon seeing Jungkook. She stands on shaky legs and attempts a bow. Jungkook fights the impulse to run forward to catch her from falling. She manages to right herself, instead.

“Hello, good sir,” the girl says in a small voice. “I have been traveling to escape the war that consumed my village with fire. I seem to have gotten lost from my party, however. Are you familiar with these parts?”

“I am, yes,” Jungkook says with a nod. “Tell me which way you would like to go and I will direct you there.”

After chatting with the girl and confirming she is not injured in any way, Jungkook gives her directions towards where she says is her encampment. Despite not wanting to relay yet another story to the fae about interacting with a stranger, Jungkook will need to tell them that it seems like another refugee encampment has sprung up along their borders.

Jungkook triest to prod for news of Seokjin, but this girl seems to not know much beyond news of her own kin. The prince tries not to let the lack of information on his friend hurt and instead focuses on the hope that the next traveler will have information.

“Good sir, please,” the girl says as they stand ready to part ways. She pulls out a shiny red apple from her bag and hands it to the prince. “Please, take this as a token of my appreciation.”

Jungkook waves the gift away immediately with both hands. He says, “I couldn’t possibly take your food from you.”

“No, it’s quite alright. I have more in my bag. I found a lovely tree bearing many fruit on my way here. Please, it would mean a lot to me to know you would receive this,” the girl implores. She has a small pout on her lips that pulls on Jungkook’s heartstrings.

He says, “If you insist, I will take it. I will even be sure to enjoy it before I am home again.”

He takes the apple and carefully places it in the pocket of his cloak. The girl beams at him, making the whole exchange worth it.

“Farewell, good sir,” the girl waves as she makes her way into the forest.

Jungkook continues his walk without any more interruptions until he is back at the creek outside their cottage. The last of the sun is still shining on the grass and Jungkook decides to soak it in before going inside to see who is home this evening.

He lays on the grass, feeling the gentle heat of the sun and listening to the babbling of the creek nearby. He pulls out the apple the girl had given him and takes a large bite. By his second bite, he starts to wonder if maybe the sun is too strong. Of course, that doesn’t make sense, the sun is retreating in the sky now, it shouldn’t be getting warmer. Maybe he’s just tired.

He closes his eyes and relaxes all of his limbs into the grass, letting the rest of the apple roll away from him. He feels heavy, as if a hefty blanket has been draped across his body. Yes, he’s tired, he thinks. He decides it can’t hurt to just nap here for a while.

~

When Jungkook awakens, he is surrounded by darkness. His first thought is that it’s strange no one from the house thought to bring him inside at sunset. Surely, someone would have come looking for him. However, when he tries to sit up, he finds that he cannot move. He feels heavy or as if he is under water. He strains to make anything out in the darkness and cannot see anything but black. He tries to listen and hears nothing.

Then from far away, he hears a familiar voice. Namjoon, he thinks. But the sound is muffled, hard to make out. He focuses all his energy into turning the fuzzy sound into intelligible words, but soon grows tired. When sleepiness overtakes him, he decides to rest and try again later. He falls back into his dreamless slumber.

Namjoon had found Jungkook, sleeping by the creek, shortly after sunset. The woods had whispered to him that the young prince was still napping there and the trees were worried. Hurrying back from his supply run, Namjoon discovered the princeling sound asleep in the grass where he had lain down that afternoon. A light dew had collected on his body.

Namjoon didn’t truly worry until he couldn’t wake the princeling up. He rushed the boy into the house and took him to the fire to warm up and dry off. No one else would be home until tomorrow. Namjoon cursed his luck.

After warming him up by the fire, Namjoon took Jungkook upstairs to the princeling’s bedroom. There, Namjoon tucked his sleeping charge into the comforters before rushing to his library to see if he could determine what was wrong with the boy. He also sent word to the forest to collect as much information as possible on what had transpired.

When the other fae rushed home upon getting frantic messages from Namjoon, they each did what they could to wake their little princeling. However, both mundane and magical attempts were of no use.

Two weeks passed and none of the fae had ventured out of the house, each taking turns sitting with Jungkook while he slept. When they weren’t sitting with the prince, they were working on potions, spells, and research to see what could be done to rouse him.

One day, about two weeks before Jungkook’s nineteenth birthday, Jimin goes out to collect plants from the forest. He has an idea for a poultice that might help the princeling. However, only moments after he leaves the cottage he comes running back inside.

“Hyungs! Taehyung! Come quickly!” he yells into the house.

All the fae come running down the stairs, panicked looks on their faces.

“What is it, Jimin-ah?” Yoongi asks, pulling on his boots. Everyone else is doing the same while looking towards the pixie.

“Just come look outside!” Jimin shouts. He throws the front door open again and waves everyone out.

What the fae see when they look towards where Jimin is pointing has them collectively gasping. Out, where mere weeks ago there had been a garden of growing green plants, now stood a field of bright yellow sunflowers all trained towards the sun just beginning to show over the treeline.

“He planted sunflowers,” Taehyung breathes out in wonder.

“A whole field of sunflowers,” Yoongi murmurs.

Suddenly, they are all pulled away from the sight by a loud sob. They whip around to see Hobi kneeling on the ground, head bowed, shoulders shaking with his cries. The rest of the fae are quick to rush towards him and envelope him in a group hug.

“What if he doesn’t wake up?” Hobi gasps out between sobs.

Yoongi shushes him and says, “We can’t know that will happen. Perhaps he is like you and just needs to rest for a while. Soon he will be awake again and smiling for us.”

Jimin sniffles and says, “He needs to awaken to see his sunflowers.”

“Let’s bring some up to him now,” Namjoon suggests. “We can leave enough to enjoy out here and still fill his room full of sunshine.”

The others agree and get to work brightening the whole cottage with yellow sunflowers.

Hobi casts a spell on the cut flowers in the cottage to give them longevity so they may bloom for a full year. This way, no matter when Jungkook finally wakes, he will see the beauty and light he has brought all of his fae friends in the little cottage in the woods.

< Chapter 2

Chapter 4 >

[blazefire-engine]

The Deal (Part VI)

Summary:

Backed into a corner, Paradis is in need of advanced weaponry to go against Marley forces. Mikasa Ackerman understands this more than anyone. The Azumabito family complies with her request to share Hizuru’s technology with the island demons- in exchange for being “Hizuru’s hope.” A small price to pay, according to the ever loyal and self-sacrificing Mikasa.

Canon-divergence from chapter 107 to 132 (-ish). Which means slight spoilers until chapter 132.

Part: I  |  II  |  III  |  IV  |  V  |  VI

----------

"Oi, what was that for?" Commander Hanji exclaimed from the floor, rubbing her right butt cheek.

Eren sighed. "You know how the Captain feels about his height, Hanji-san."

The Captain’s glare turned to the Titan shifter at the mention of the sensitive topic. "Are you looking for another beating, Eren?"

Jean slammed his forehead by the window. "Idiot."

- - -

"Tomorrow the new recruits from the 106th Cadet Corp are arriving." Hanji announced in their evening meeting. Levi took the liberty to pour them all a cup of tea. "I will be assigning you all team leader and instructor roles."

The remaining 104th soldiers stared at her in shock. 

"Commander Hanji-" Armin started. 

"I will not take no as an answer." She said seriously. "You have all proven your worth and your experience is needed." 

"We are the only capable ones left." Levi added, reminding them all their comrades perished in the battle at Shiganshina. "We need to rebuild the Survey Corp and all of you are essential to carry out this role."

“It’s essentially a promotion!” Hanji grinned. “Armin, you will be our new instructor for strategy and my right-hand for all exploration plans.”

Said new instructor was sitting with his mouth open like a gaping fish.

Hanji continued on. “Connie, you will be leading ODM training and equipment management.”

“Huh?” The young man stuttered, then looked at Jean. “But wouldn’t Jean be more suited for the ODM training?”

“I was going to get to that: Jean will be assisting you on the ODM and equipment, but he will lead horse training.”

“Hah?” Jean shouted.

“Sasha, your hunting skills will be useful for rifle and survival training.”

She saluted silently from behind a loaf of bread.

“Eren, we have duties with Historia in the capital. But when you're here, you will lead the hand-to-hand combat and physical training.” 

“Mikasa, you will assist or lead depending when Eren is here. And you will lead the combat aspect of ODM and weapons training.” Hanji finished assigning the roles. “Levi will be supervising. Some Garrison members will be transferring as well to help with logistics and increase our numbers- I will handle those.” 

"Also, Mikasa, please do the orientation for the new recruits." The Commander concluded their evening meeting.

"Copy that." Mikasa noted it in her notebook. 

"Hanji-san, are you sure you want Connie to lead ODM training?" Jean mentioned as he and Connie shared a concerned look.

Eren couldn't help but snicker.  “How fitting that Jean is in charge of horse training.”

"Wanna say that again?" Jean threatened as Connie raised his hands to ease him.

"Connie has the expertise and he’ll lighten up the atmosphere." Hanji addressed Jean. "And you will be there to assist, you will be fine."

Armin smiled as he collected his papers and added. “You do have an affinity with horses, like Captain Ness.”

"And you have an affinity with strategy." Hanji grinned at the blonde boy. 

"You sure you aren't Erwin's kid?" Levi added seriously. The kid uncannily inherited Erwin's genius. Maybe he wasn't his kid, but maybe Erwin’s soul had reincarnated into him. 

Armin blushed. "Of course, I can never compare to the brilliant intellect of Commander Erwin… Hanji-san, can you proofread my lecture notes before-"

"Nope!" She chirped. "I trust your judgment."

"Y-yes."

“Oh, I almost forgot, I have chosen two new squad captains: Mikasa and Jean.”

“Hah?!”

---

In a freshly laundered green cloak and her hair tied up, twenty fresh recruits were lined up in front of her. 

With a salute, she introduced herself. “Hello, I’m Mikasa Ackerman. You may address me as Captain Mikasa. I’ll keep this brief.”

“Here are your schedules.” She handed them each a small packet. “Use the rest of the day to prepare your gear, settle in, and get familiar. You can expect similar routines as within the Cadet Corp, however, more rigorous. Warm ups start tomorrow morning so please get plenty of rest. Our routine expedition outside the walls will be in two weeks. Any questions?”

“Will we be getting our own horses?” A young man asked with a raised hand.

“Yes.” Mikasa nodded. “Captain Jean will assign you your horses tomorrow. They are your comrade and friend. Please treat them as such and with care.”

“When will we be getting our uniforms?” 

“Ah.” She was about to respond with another 'tomorrow,' but paused when she saw Captain Levi turning the corner with a stack of green cloaks in his arms.

“Captain.” She went to him and grabbed half of the cloaks. “Here are your uniforms.” They each gave the recruit a cloak. 

“Wear it with pride. If you have no further questions, you are dismissed.”

As the recruits filed out, murmuring as they went, a single female soldier stayed behind, silently smiling at her.

It didn’t take long for Mikasa to recognize her.

"It's you." She stared at the amber eyes and short, blond hair. 

"You're the young girl." She remembers slaying the titan in Trost, buying time for the civilians to evacuate. She looks at her chart. "Louise."

Yes." The girl gave a salute, one that mirrored Mikasa’s own salute all those years ago when she saved her. “I look forward to your instruction, Captain Mikasa.”

“Yeah…” She replied and watched the young girl follow the rest of the recruits."

Levi stood at the side as he watched each new recruit. Ever since the coup d'etat and the truth of their world released, the Survey Corp surprisingly gained more willing bodies, albeit more young ones who were no doubt fighting for freedom. 

He narrowed his eyes at the group of boys that looked at Mikasa with shining eyes. 

“That’s her!” One of them whispered. “The woman worth a hundred soldiers!”

“She’s probably worth more now- probably an entire brigade!”

“Graduated top of the class. Shadis said she’s a genius, top marks on everything.”

“Slayed more titans than anyone in the 104th.”

“Said she’s second to Captain Levi.”

“She’s so pretty too…”

“They must be crazy strong to survive the battle at Shiganshina…”

The murmurs died out and the Captain turned to watch the young woman, who seemed fixated on her clipboard.

“You have a few admirers.” He noted.

She paused but kept her eyes down. “Captain, I’m rather impartial to their admiration.”

He couldn’t help the small smile. “You and me both. They admire us because we’re strong. We give them hope.”

She picked up the sacks of cornmeal with ease, intending to bring it to the kitchens to help the Garrison members. “Do you think our strength is because of our Ackerman blood?”

“I don’t know. Could be.” He easily picked up the sacks as well. “But does it matter?”

“I suppose not. It was just a thought.”

- - - -

“Did you guys notice?” Eren said, curiously watching across the mess hall. “Mikasa and Captain Levi.” The two people were carrying two heavy looking sacks. “It feels like they’ve gotten closer.”

“Why? Jealous?” Jean teased behind his bowl of soup.

“No.” He scowled slightly. “I’m actually glad that she’s opening up to other people.” He watched her again. “And I think her grudge against the Captain is gone.”

“They’ve always been close.” Armin responded. “I think the Captain sees himself in Mikasa. He’s always patient with her, tells her to calm down. They’re usually the ones who lead the charge.”

“Now that I think about it, Mikasa is the only one the Captain actually tolerates talking to.” Connie said.

“That could be because she doesn’t talk much in the first place.” Eren replied. “She usually gets straight to the point like the Captain.”

“It could be an Ackerman trait.” Sasha exclaimed. “Birds of a feather flock together.”

“Huh.” Armin pondered. “You may be right, Sasha.”

--------------------

A/N: Man, it's been a few days since I updated. After 139, I realized I could expand on this fic so I’ve been brainstorming and school + work has just been in the way. 

Also, damn, I suddenly got an explosive amount of activity with Beast. I wrote this shit like 6-7 years ago lmao thank you RM fam. 

I didn’t emphasize it, but the setting was young adult Mikasa with... urges and she tried to relieve herself with some cadets but just couldn’t get what she wanted (everyone was lowkey intimidated by her) and Levi definitely noticed and knew what she needed.

[kanmom51]

JK said let me introduce you to my groom. This is our beach wedding thank you for coming. He really locked arms with Jimin like they were about to walk down the isle. He didn't even realize at first how naturally he took Jimin's arm and that little squeeze. My soul just left my body. Instant heartache tho once he realized & pulled back. Same energy as the 16 second stare during the Feb vlive & how JK snapped himself out of it and looked serious once he realized he caught what he was doing. PAIN!

Ask 2

Chill out Jungkook, no one is taking Jimin from you. I love it when JK gets these wild spur of the moments where he veers off course and is like hell with it, I'm loving on my baby today. The back hug is probably favorite cause JK actually fought JM and said no, we're hugging, I love you, I'm gonna cuddle you, I don't care about cameras. He was so clingy that day. This gives the same energy, but this time he stopped. If Jikook didn't act so sus, then things wouldn't be so sus. They do it not us.

Ask 3

I'm gonna cry. JM clearly pulled his hand away from JK and put it in his pocket so JK moved his arm off Jimin. They both held back. Look at JK's poor face. Reminds me of when JK went to hold JM's hand after he cried and he pulled it away. And people think these two don't get in trouble. Look at RM side eyeing them when JK puts his arm on JM. I think JM pulls away because of hate or because he doesn't want things to seem obvious, even though its obvious. The tonight show back hug JK said screw it

Ask 4

The little affectionate squeezes JK gave Jimin’s arm before he let go. 😭 I totally agree that the rules are different for jikook. We see it all the time yet people don’t seem to get it.

And then we have this:

Ask 5

I dont see anything suspicious or anyone holding back about jk grabbing jimin's arm, It seems he just grabbed it at first because he was running on sand and then squeezed it and let go. I believe not everything means something.

So, what are we gonna do?

There is nothing we can do. We will continue to see what we see and there will always be those that will deny it or explain it away.

Doubting anon, "he was running on sand"? That's your take from this. JK didn't just grab JM's hand. He latched onto it, drawing it in and up towards him. JM pulled his arm back into his pocket and JK gives him one last squeeze before he lets go.

Lowers his head, and then puts both hands in his pockets, just like JM did.

[not-all-dead]

Could you please do angsty #70 but with fluffy ending for Kya/Lin 👉👈

prompt #70 - “After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”

holy bejesus this ended up long and I’m not sure how fluffy the ending is but it does get happier(?) at the end

some very depressing thoughts from Lin but no s*lf h*rm or anything

Lin sat in her office, the door locked and lights off. There was minimal light coming from her window, the blinds pulled down to hide her from view. She rested her head in her hands, wanting to cry but feeling so overwhelmed that she couldn’t bring herself to. It was hardly afternoon, but she’d already been there for six hours.

Mako and Saikhan had both come to check on her, but she’d not let either of them in. She didn’t want anyone to see her like this, didn’t want anyone to see her at all, really. She was so tired, so sick of being constantly in the spotlight. She wanted to hide, to live a quiet life in the countryside where nobody could bother her.

But at the same time, she had an impossibly strong urge to protect people. She couldn’t retire, wouldn’t retire, if her staying meant order could be kept. She was aware that her being chief wasn’t the solution to every conflict, but she’d managed to keep the city functioning well for many years.

She also knew that part of her needing to stay was because of her desire to be loved by her mother, but she ignored that aspect of it. She didn’t want to think about how little affection Toph had shown towards her, how she’d never once been proud of her. She didn’t want to acknowledge that she’d done everything right in an attempt to earn her mother’s approval, and had still failed.

There were stacks upon stacks of files and papers on her desk, all in need of completion. She stared at them, a sinking feeling in her chest. She knew she’d only feel worse if she left it until later, but she couldn’t bring herself to start. Instead, she fell into her thoughts, her body growing numb.

She thought of all the people in republic city. Of how it was her duty, her responsibility to help them no matter what. She thought of Mako, of Korra, Bolin and Asami. She thought about how she’d been a mentor to the teenagers, and how they were a responsibility to her as well. She thought of her sister and niblings, how she’d pushed them away and still had yet to reconnect. She thought of Tenzin and his kids, how they’d attached themselves to her like an aunt since they were very young. She thought of everyone in her life and those not in her life, and she thought of the guilt she felt towards them, the feeling that she’d never be enough.

She thought of Kya. She thought of how much she’d helped her through, how many times she’d come back from her travels just to be with her. She thought of the habits she’d helped her overcome. She thought of how beautiful she was, and how she’d only grown more so with age. She thought of how she was the only one who really knew her, and the only one she loved completely.

And she thought of how she’d never get that love back. She thought of how Kya would never stop travelling, and how even if she did, she’d never know how much she loved her. She thought of telling her how she felt, but pushed the thought away. She’d never have the guts to do it, and anyway, she’d never get the response she’d hope for.

She was snapped out of her head by a knock on the door. She didn’t move and said nothing, hoping whoever it was would go away on their own. She assumed it was Mako or Saikhan, but was too tired to get up to check. Several minutes went by and she didn’t hear them leave, but they didn't knock again or say anything either. Finally, Lin heard a voice from the other side.

“Lin, can I please come in?” It was Kya.

Lin still said nothing, sinking further down in her chair and using her arm as a pillow on her desk. There was quiet again and Lin expected Kya to leave, but there was still no shift outside the door.

“Lin, please,” Kya said after a long moment. “I’m worried about you. Please let me in.”

Lin waited another few minutes, but Kya still refused to move away from the door. She eventually reached out and metalbent the lock open, allowing Kya entrance.

Kya heard the click and reached for the doorknob, opening the door slowly. She peaked in and saw Lin resting on the desk before entering the room completely. She pulled the extra chair around the desk, sitting herself closely beside Lin.

“Talk to me,” Kya said softly, placing her hand on Lin’s thigh.

Lin turned her head so she was looking at Kya, still using her arm as a pillow. She stared at the older woman, face devoid of emotion. Kya stared back, concern painted across her features. Lin felt a wave of guilt crash over her, and a tear slipped down her cheek.

“I’m sorry,” She whispered, standing up from her desk and going to look out the window.

She pulled the blinds up, watching the people and cars moving below. Her arms were wrapped around her torso, hands tightly gripping her biceps. She could feel Kya’s eyes watching her and her cheeks getting wetter. The street below blurred, and when she felt a hand on her shoulder, she fought to hold back a sob.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Lin,” Kya said, rubbing her hand up and down Lin’s back.

“Please don’t,” Lin said, pulling away again.

“Don’t what?” Kya tried to turn Lin to face her, but she just moved further away.

“Don’t do what you always do. Don’t act like you care, only to leave again. I know you don’t care, but every time you come, you make it seem like you do. Every goodbye hurts more than the last. I can’t take it, especially not now,” Lin’s voice was timid, her tone unlike any Kya had heard from her before.

“Lin, I- ” Kya paused and walked over to Lin, placing her hand on Lin’s shoulder and forcing Lin to look at her.

“After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think I love you?” A tear slipped from Kya’s eye, her heart clenching with the realization that Lin really didn’t realise how much she loved her.

Lin’s face twisted as she looked up at Kya. She wanted to believe what she was hearing, but her mind still told her that it wasn’t true, that it couldn’t be. She felt a sob build up in her throat, and when at last it broke free, she buried her head in Kya’s shoulder. Kya’s arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly as she sobbed, her own face betraying how much Lin’s anguish hurt her, too.

Lin felt hollow by the time she’d calmed down again and was no longer crying. She felt like her very soul had been pulled from her body, leaving only a shell of a person, a mind numbed of emotion. She stepped away from Kya, letting the older woman take her hands without protest.

“I’m sorry, your dress, I… ” Lin trailed off, refusing to meet Kya’s eyes.

“My dress is fine, Lin. Here, sit, would you?” Kya dragged Lin’s chair away from the desk and made her sit down.

“Listen, I can tell there’s a lot going on with you right now. You’re clearly hurting, and you need help to get through this. I’m going to do anything I can for you, and we can find others to help too if we need to. I’m not leaving this time, alright? I promise,” Kya sat in the chair beside Lin’s, taking her hands again.

Lin nodded and took a deep breath. She squeezed Kya’s hand weakly and raised her head. When their eyes met, she felt like the breath was knocked out of her, and she felt her heart rate rise. Her eyes watered again, though no tears fell, and she forced herself to speak again.

“I’m so sorry I took so long to say something, and- ”

“Lin, no. I’m sorry for being so ignorant and for making you feel the way I did. I promise from now on I’ll do anything to keep you from feeling that again,” Kya squeezed Lin’s hands.

“Thank you,” Lin said, a tiny, tired smile forming on her face.

list of prompts

[miss-melon]

Could I request Gundham with a reader who has self harm scars that similar to him they usually wear a bandage on their arm? That at some point it gets removed and he sees.

Absolutely anon, this topic is really important to me and I want to help people possibly going through it.

REQUEST: Gundham with an S/O with s*lf h*rm scars

‼️TW: S*lf H*rm‼️

‼️TW: Depression‼️

DISCLAIMER: If any of you out there are ever thinking about hurting yourself, please don’t. I know how hard resisting the temptation can be, I have experience with s*lf h*rm and let me tell you, it NEVER even temporarily fixes the problem, it only throws you deeper in the hole. I want you to know that you are beautiful and worthy of love, no matter what anyone tells you, please never forget that there are people who care about you. If you ever need to talk to someone, I will always be here to listen to you, I know how bad this sort of thing can hurt.

Everyone was floored when you began dating Gundham Tanaka, you two were complete opposites after all, He was eccentric and loud, while you were timid and quiet.

Despite the differences between the two of you, the chemistry was always there. You seemed to be the only person to actually listen closely to Gundham’s stories and enjoy them. When Gundham first noticed you paying attention to what he was saying, he tried to hide his very obvious blush in his scarf, but you still noticed every time. Your guys’ friendship eventually blossomed into the relationship that you were so invested in today. While you were very happy that you were dating a man that you genuinely loved, you were also keeping a secret from him, a big one. One of the only things that you had in common with Gundham was that you both wore a bandage on your left arm. While Gundham wore it because he had gotten numerous bad scratches from the cats he had taken care of over the years, you were wearing it for a different reason, and he would soon find out why.

‼️Please skip the next paragraph if you are triggered by s*lf h*rm‼️

You had been severely depressed for a very long time, to the point where your brain was clouded with negative thoughts. You didn’t know how to make these thoughts and emotions go away, so you would hurt yourself in order to metaphorically create an opening for the negative thoughts to leave your body, you wanted to hurt more on the outside than you did on the inside. You wanted desperately to escape the grasp of this monster that had gotten a hold of you. The bandage on your arm was to cover the scars.

Gundham never really asked why you wore the bandage, he figured that you would tell him eventually, but he only wanted you to do it on your own terms. It was another day at school, and you and Gundham were sitting outside below a tree while all your classmates were running the track for gym class. It was a particularly windy day outside when all of a sudden, the bandage on your arm had gotten blown off, revealing several self-inflicted scars that ran up and down your arm, some old and some new. “O-oh no! Gundham! My bandage!” You yelled. Gundham luckily grabbed it before it had gotten blown away for good, he was about to give it back to you when he suddenly noticed all your scars.

You were petrified, what was he gonna say? Was he gonna be angry at you for not telling him? Would he judge you? Would he break up with you? You were so scared of what he would do that you suddenly started crying. “G-Gundham, I’m sorry! I should’ve told you sooner! I’m so so sorry!” Gundham without even thinking, pulled your body into his chest with one hand over your head, and the other over your back.

“My royal majesty of darkness, there is no need for you to apologize, however, I will no longer allow you to battle this horrific beast alone. We shall conquer this challenge together.” You wanted to believe him, but you had been burned so many times in the past that you just couldn’t, until he began to very quietly whisper to you, A: To calm you down, and B: So no one else would hear what he was about to say, and more importantly, how he was about to say it.

“Y/N, I need you to know that I’ll always be here with you, you never need to worry about that, you are beautiful and kind and I would never give up on you even if it meant that I would lose everything. You’re worth more to me than anything or anyone I’ve ever known, and I want to help you with this. I want to see the light come back to the beautiful eyes I’ve always been so captivated by.” You were floored, this was the first time you had ever heard Gundham drop the whole “Dark Overlord” act. It very quickly hit you that he didn’t do this for anyone. Ever. It was his way of telling you that he was serious about being absolutely devoted to you.

You didn’t say anything back to him, but you did squeeze him tight and bury your face into his chest, the devas eventually popped out of his scarf and scurried over to your side to help comfort you in this vulnerable and raw moment. Gundham just sat there with you, his strong arms shielding your body from everything that could ever get to you.

THE END.

_______________________________________________

This is an extremely raw and personal subject to me, so writing stuff like this makes it really special to me, and I hope it can provide some of you comfort during a difficult time, just please know that you are loved, and if you ever even consider hurting yourself in any given moment, please talk to someone. Whether it be a parent, a friend, or just someone you trust in general. I will always be here to listen if that’s what you need in any given moment.

[nightswithkookmin]

Hey Goldy, why do you think jk could've been homophobic in the early years? I genuinely want to know becuz i didn't really feel that way myself . And when according to you did he become woke? And what do u think about jimin in this case?

I think JK could have been homophobic????

Have you been snooping around my Ko-fi page??? I don't recall ever saying anything like that on here...

Are you on Ko-fi? You can ask directly on Ko-fi if you have any questions with regards to any of the posts on there. Simply DM.

I said that, because I had read somewhere Jungkook was straight and was dating a trainee before 2015 when he and JM started fully dating but then those same peopele claimed somehow that JK was too young to be gay at the time or to be doing Jimin prior to 2015- in that context then to me, if he wasn't closeted and gay then he'd come off as very homophobic especially in the way he acted around JM and treated JM in that period in my opinion.

If he wasn't too young to be straight, he wasn't too young to be gay. I knew I liked girls at the age of seven ish. Never acted on it and shied away from gals mostly until highschool when I came across much older queer gals- Some have claimed they knew they liked girls much earlier than that.

I mean I'd assume straight people knew they were straight even in kindergarten. Why does it gotta be any different for gay people. It's really bizarre to me.

That's not to say I don't think Jikook weren't problematic or didn't have issues.

For JK I can say, toxic masculinity, internalized homophobia and immaturity marked his earlier phase- not just him but Jimin and everyone in bangtan too (minus the internalized homophobia of course) in my opinion. Which I think we've talked about on here a few times now.

I understand certain conversations make some people uncomfortable especially ones surrounding BTS and homophobia, misogyny cultural appropriation, gay culture appropriation etc.

As I said on Ko-fi, if Jungkook wasn't queer/gay back then, then I'm afraid, to me, a lot of the things he'd said and done around around JM was quite homophobic.

But since I believe he was gay, they just come off as internalized homophobia to me.

And by that I mean things he'd say similar to RM talking bout how 'Jimin tries a lot to be masculine even though he's not' and gets elbowed by Jin to shut up because it's something you just don't say to effeminate men like JM or especially gay men. It comes across as a homophobic slur or microaggression (if JM is in deed gay- which I think he is.)

Or all the crying jokes bangtan makes about JK most times and the constant attack on Jikook's masculinity in the group- being gay doesn't make you less of a man💀

You'll understand if you've seen JK's face drop at certain 'jokes' certain people in the group throw his way.

When did Jungkook become woke????

That's like asking me when did BTS become woke.

Sounds very sarcastic but whatever.

Don't think I can point to you a particular date in this instance just that there's been a very visible gradual shift in the way he thinks, behaves or carry himself within the group over the years.

When he stopped saying things like men shouldn't wear rings on their pinky or that men shouldn't check their selfies after taking them- to which JM replies in frustration 'men, men, men, what the heck is men!'

When he started unlearning the toxic masculine stuff and started embracing his true nature?

It's been a journey for him I'd say.

Whenever he second guesses himself and hesitates to touch JM in certain places-even to this day( a certain titanic run episode comes to mind)

He reaches for JM's waist, stops and holds his shoulder instead. There's a cut a his hand is now on JM's waist- clearly he was cued by the director or someone to hold JM's waist to make it more entertaining.

Now I wouldn't say this act is homophobic per se. Plus, he's not the only one who some times get confused around JM and hesitate to touch him- Tae does that too.

There's that TXT member who froze entirely when JM touched him.

But I can't ignore that JK's hesitation comes from him thinking it's inappropriate for him being a guy to hold JM in certain places like that- which is interesting because they be playing with each other's dixk and shit. You'd think that's more gay no?

Men are nasty and do nasty things like hitting eachother's private region for play or squeezing eachother's nipples and shit- Apparently, that's not gay. To them.

But suddenly, holding hands or placing their hands on a man's waist is gay because it's intimate and something a couple would do- very heteronormative I'd say.

Sounds familiar?

'Sounds like something a couple would do' then the members would proceed to act embarrassed by it.

And this was what, like a few months ago?

Toxic masculinity is at the heart of homophobia. One usually follows the other. If you can spot toxic masculinity in JK, you should be able to spot his internalized homophobic tendencies.

That being said. He's grown now. Way mature than before. Occasionally does some ignorant shit but he's way better than before- in my opinion💀

They shouldn't kiss and act grossed out. If it grosses you out don't do it in the first place that's just rude. I think you know what I mean.

Like RM says, they were all a bit in the mud, unsophisticated in their formative years and I don't think that excluded JM and JK( not gonna go into JK's problematic moments on here or recount them)

As to whether or not some of the things he said in those days were homophobic or not I think it depends on perspective and one's own understanding of anti homosexual tendencies and behaviors.

If not then ignorance is bliss I guess.

What do I think about Jimin???

I think he's gay. Lol.

But he's had his own toxic manly man moments.

'We are men and men shouldn't pop their booty'

Men shouldn't pop their booty? He tried it. Lol.

From the top, make it drop honey😏

Calling Hobi gay as a joke???

'I think he likes men a little too much'

Sir, sit down. A few years later, you are gay too. Very gay. More so gay than Hobi💀

This you???💀

Not sure how to steer this conversation because I feel you don't know exactly what that blog on JK and homophobia is about.

Anywho, thanks for the question. Love it.

I'm gonna answer all your questions. I love them🤤💜

Signed,

GOLDY

[stanbillyhargrove]

Demons - The Rewrite

Chapter 2: Maybe It's Lust, Maybe It's Love

T/W: ED references, self h*rm references, smut

Tag list is open

"You know, your reputation would have me believe you brought me out here because you think we're gunna have sex in the backseat."

"Or kill you," he smirked, "nobody would find you...noone ever comes down here. The animals would get you first."

I stared at him wide eyed, a small squeak leaving my lips.

Billy rolled his eyes and barked out a laugh before he pushed out of his door to circle and lean against the hood of his car and light up a cigarette, still chuckling under his breath. I followed him out into the clearing and felt the knot of anxiety in my gut settle. It was wonderfully peaceful out here, nothing but fresh air and the sounds of birds and lapping water.

"If I close my eyes I can almost pretend I'm back home," Billy murmured, the cherry of his cigarette burning bright as he inhaled, "that she never left.."

"How long ago did she leave?"

"I was eight...remember the day like it was yesterday though. She never left me home alone, I always went everywhere with her but that day...she said she was just going to the store for a couple things and she'd be right back. I sat in the window waiting all day," Billy paused to clench his teeth together, "dad got home and knew right away. He got in my face screaming, asking if I knew where she went...I don't know if it was better or worse that I didn't know. That was the first time he..."

I hugged my arms tight around myself, unsure of what to do with my hands. Wanting to reach out but afraid to push.

"She called me sometimes, always when she knew I'd be home alone..always said she was trying her best and she'd come back for me soon. Susan answered the phone last winter...soon as dad got wind that I was talking to her he started looking at moving. Didn't tell me where we were going so I couldn't tell her."

"Oh, Billy..."

"Fuck," he growled, swiping a hand down his face and inhaling deeply, "sorry...shouldn't have unloaded on you like that. You probably think I'm a fucking baby."

"No, don't be sorry.. I don't think you're a baby, you're allowed to be upset about things y'know."

He was quiet for a moment, just puffing on his cigarette until he hit the filter and he flicked it away.

“I’ve never brought anyone out here before.” He looked at me, eyes soft. “I usually just come out here to get away from all the bullshit. Just, you were telling me about your folks and," he shrugged and looked away, "figured if anyone would understand it would be you."

I reached out and gently touched his arm with my fingers, "of course. You can always come to me if you need someone to talk to. My mom is never home so the company would be nice,” I shrugged, withdrawing my hand from his arm.

He puffed out a small laugh, “careful, Babe, I’ll take you up on that. You’re very easy to talk to."

We sat there for a while, looking into the trees and chain smoking while talking. We talked about what we wanted out of our futures, how Billy couldn’t wait to leave Neil’s grasp but he wasn’t sure where he wanted to go. He longed to go back to California, to the warmth and the water and the crowds. He thought about getting a job in a garage since he’d done all the work on his Camaro - partially because he didn’t trust anybody else to touch his baby and he also just liked the work. I told him I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life, no career path had ever called to me. That maybe I'd drift through life, aimless but free to wander where I wanted.

He took one more drag before stomping out his cigarette and curling me in front of him, sighing and pressing his lips to my forhead. My eyes closed and I pressed my face into him. One of Billy’s hands grabbed the side of my face as his lips worked their way down to mine. He stopped, lips parted, just a breath away from my lips and looked at me through thick eyelashes.

“Billy..” I murmured.

And then he crushed his lips to mine. I hummed against his mouth, hands running up his naked chest and around his neck. My fingers twirled into the curls on the back of his head and I lost myself in the kiss. Billy held my face between his hands, and licked at my bottom lip. Our tongues crashed together when I opened my mouth for him, tasting each other. Slowly, he started kissing down my face and onto my neck, sucking just under my jaw. I gasped and moaned into him, sliding one of my hands down the front of his chest. His hands slid down to my waist, fingers curling under my shirt.

Stop.

My eyebrows scrunched and I flinched away from his touch, pressing my hand into his chest.

He pulled back, lips parted to catch his breath as he looked down at me.

"Shit," he muttered, backing further away, "I just...we don't have to..I can take you home."

I shook my head, trying to think of something to reassure him but he had walked away and opened his car door before I could say anything.

I fucked up, ruined whatever it was that we had going on. It was stupid of me to think he wanted anything other than sex. Helping me with my car, showing me around town, of course he wanted something in return.

"Hey," Billy murmured, breaking my thoughts, "you okay over there?"

I looked up, realized we were turning onto my street and nodded, "yeah, fine."

His mouth tightened into a small frown.

Fucking idiot. I need to give him what he wants. He'll leave and find someone else if I don't. I'm not special, he won't stick around if I don't have sex with him.

"Do you want to come in?" I blurted as we pulled into my driveway, "mom's not here."

Billy looked at me, eyebrows lifted in confusion, but he followed me inside anyway.

I led him to my room and let him cage me against the door to kiss me. Opened my lips and moaned when tongue clashed with mine. He tasted like ashy cigarettes and cinnamon. Salty skin and musky cologne when I nuzzled into his neck, lips running over his heartbeat. A groan vibrated against my lips when I sucked a bruise into his flesh and he pressed closer to me, hands gripping and sliding down my sides. Slipping lower and lower until..

Until his heated fingers dipped under my shirt, lighting a fire under my skin. Butterflies shook off a layer of frost and unfurled to flit around blooming flowers in my stomach. Flowers that stretched towards Billy's warmth, wanting. Still, I froze even as he warmed me.

It's too bright in here. He'll see. See the extra pounds I haven't lost yet and the scars I've left over pale skin. The things I'm ashamed of.

"Hey," he murmured, "is this okay? I thought you..."

"No, it's okay, just uh.. girl things.” He nodded. “I’ll make you feel good, just.. I can't right now.”

I smiled, shrugging at him and taking his hand in mine to spin him so his back was against the door. I squeezed his fingers lightly before dropping to my knees in front of him. He watched me through heavy eyelashes as I slid my hands up his legs to undo his belt buckle and unzip his jeans. I stared up at him innocently and slid Billy’s pants down past his hip bones exposing his growing cock as I licked my lip. Slowly I flicked my tongue along the underside of his head, hearing a small groan in response. I lightly teased his cock with my tongue and lips, kissing and licking along his length before sucking his tip into my mouth, humming.

Billy sighed and placed one hand on the back of my head, “fuck, Cat,” he hissed as I lightly slid my teeth off his head.

I smirked up at him before sinking my mouth onto him, one hand on his leg for support, the other gripping at the base of his penis. Slowly I slid up and down his cock, listening to Billy’s groans above me. He started to swear as I picked up my pace and started using his hand to thrust my face into him forcefully, choking me as he thrust into my throat. Tears formed in the corners of my eyes as I tried to breathe and not gag. I pushed myself off him for long enough to take a couple deep gasping breaths before letting him continue. Billy’s thrusts got more erratic before he groaned and held my face to the base of his dick and came down my throat, lightly thrusting. I pulled off of him, gasping and wiping the tears from my eyes and smiled at him. Billy pulled his pants back up, zipping and buckling them before grabbing my hand and the side of my face and helping me up.

He pulled me into his chest and tucked his face into my hair, holding me there, “holy shit,” he mumbled. “You’re amazing,” he praised as he stroked my hair.

I smiled and breathed in his scent, both of us relaxing into each other’s arms.

@alias-b @charmed-asylum

[actress4him]

Whumptober 2020 - Day 29

Okay, quick explanation of the next few days. I started writing Abandoned Part 2 for today's prompt. It's turning into a monstrosity. I ended up deciding that I was going to need some more time to finish it, and skipped to write the other 2 days first. So today's fic is actually the prompt for Day 30, and tomorrow's will be the prompt from Day 31. Day 29's prompt, the Abandoned sequel, will be on the last day. Everybody capiche?

Without further ado...Keith is an idiot, an ongoing saga.

Read on AO3

Read on FFN

Day 29 (No. 30) - Wound Reveal/Ignoring an Injury

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Warnings: explosions, stab wounds, blood

The stitch in his side kept getting worse the longer they ran. It was odd, considering he didn’t usually have that issue, but he attributed it to some muscle he had pulled the wrong way when fighting with that Galra lieutenant and just kept running. It wasn’t like he had much of a choice. Pidge and Hunk had planted explosives all over the base, and they had less than a dobash left to clear the area before they went off.

Bursting out the front door of the building, Keith and Lance dove behind the boulders where Allura, Pidge, and Hunk were already waiting, just in time for the detonations to start. Heat washed over them as the ground shook.

“Cutting it a little close there, were we?” Pidge quipped.

Lance scoffed. “Maybe, but you have to admit that would have been an awesome action movie sequence right there.”

Still panting for breath, Keith cupped his waist where the pain was originating, only to feel a slight rip in the fabric. Startled, he pulled his hand back and saw that the fingers of his glove were wet. Huh. Guess that lieutenant got a knick in, after all. No wonder it had been hurting.

The base was fully obliterated, what hadn’t been blown into pieces now engulfed in flame. That took care of all the foot soldiers and sentries, as well as all the computers, weapons, and other technology that had been inside. However, it didn’t solve the issue of the fighters that had managed to escape just before the explosion and were now shooting down at them.

“Should we head back to the Lions?” someone shouted.

Keith turned to look for Shiro’s response and...everyone was looking at him. Right. He was the Black Paladin now. Everyone’s lives were in his hands, and he still wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Actually, he did know how he felt. Wrong. This shouldn’t have been his job, it should have been Shiro’s. He was no good at leading. Why Shiro and the Black Lion had ever chosen him, he had no idea.

But it was his job, like it or not, and so he had to step up and lead. “Yeah. Everyone back in your Lions, and take on those fighters. Remember, they can still call for backup from their ships, so we need to take them down as fast as we can.”

With cries of agreement, everyone jumped up and ran off in their respective directions, holding up their shields and dodging laser fire as they went. Keith gasped involuntarily as he stood and pain shot through his middle unexpectedly. For just a scratch, that knife wound sure was acting up.

By the time he sank into Black’s pilot seat, it had gone from stinging to throbbing, and the pain seemed to be growing by the second. He pressed his hand up against it again. This time his whole hand came back wet, and he was pretty sure he could feel that same warm wetness leaking down inside his suit, too.

Apparently it was worse of a wound than he thought.

He had no time to worry about it, though. The other Lions had already launched. Shoving the controls forward, he ignored the way the skin pulled and steered Black into the thick of the fight. 

“About time you joined us.”

“Sorry.” Normally he would snap right back at Lance’s insults, but now that he was leading - and doing such a poor job of it, most of the time - he generally felt he deserved them. “Allura, you’ve got a fighter coming in at two o’clock.”

“Already got it handled,” Pidge announced as she swooped past and fired her laser.

Right. He’d just mind his own business and take out fighters, then.

They were down to the last couple of ships in a matter of minutes. Keith was looking forward to heading back victorious to the Castle and quietly slipping away to his room to check out his injury. 

But when had anything in his life ever gone the way he wanted it to? Someone had called for backup at some point, and now there was a cruiser and a whole new fleet of fighters to deal with. Immediately they were surrounded, and the cruiser was charging up its ion cannon.

“-ith! Sh-...-rm…-tron?”

Keith shook his head, trying to clear it. There was shouting over the comms, but it sounded like it was coming from underwater. 

“Ke-!...-eed...us...do!”

“Um.” The fighters looked like they were multiplying as he stared out his windscreen, wavering unnaturally. “I…” Glancing down at the video screens, he tried to gauge what was going on from his teammates faces, but they were distorted, too. “I don’t…”

“...nee-...-ze up...so…-pful…”

“Jus-...-mation…-ltron!”

The other Lions all took off suddenly, flying in a formation that seemed familiar, somewhere in the fog of his mind. Voltron. They want to form Voltron. His movements were sluggish, but he managed to send Black forward to join them, taking his place in the lead. 

Black...I need your help…

Voltron formed without him fully being aware of it happening. He wasn’t sure whether he had completely blacked out, or if his brain was just working so poorly that he couldn’t remember it after, but the next thing he knew was trying to steer the giant machine in the general direction of the cruiser. Easier said than done when said cruiser wouldn’t stay still, bobbing up and down and side to side like a yo-yo. 

The rest of the team was still yelling back and forth over the comms. Even if he couldn’t understand the words, he could still recognize the frustration in their tones, and was pretty sure it was directed at him. He didn’t blame them. He was letting them down, again. What could he say, though? He wasn’t sure whether he could even form words, and they seemed to be doing just fine without him directing. All he had to do was keep pointing Black in the right direction - and keep his shaking arms from going slack and slipping from the controls - and they were taking care of the rest, using Lance’s sword to slash a hole in the side of the cruiser, and Hunk’s shoulder cannon to take out multitudes of fighters.

They really didn’t need him at all. It should have been Lance or Allura who led. Not him.

He lost a chunk of time again just before Voltron disbanded, the disorienting feeling of his limbs being pulled away bringing him back. Okay. Just have to make it back to the hangar now. He thought he heard Black rumble in his mind, assuring him that they would get there.

The jolt of landing made him grit his teeth to keep from crying out. It felt like his entire side was on fire. He could vaguely hear the others leaving their Lions, mumbling to each other the whole time, but he couldn’t seem to find the strength to move.

“Come on, Mullet, you can’t hide from us all day!”

The sudden, echoing voice from inside Black’s hangar made him jump, then squeeze the arms of the chair in a death grip as he rode out the wave of pain. Maybe it was because of the lack of other distractions, but he found it easier to focus on the words now. And they weren’t at all happy.

“Keith? We need to talk. Come on out, please.”

He squeezed his eyes shut. “Yeah. C-coming.” 

One hand pressed to his side. One hand gripping the steering control. Stand up. Don’t scream. Don’t fall over. Helmet off. Walk to the door. Wait for Black to lower the ramp. Don’t fall over.

“What the heck was that all about?” Lance screeched as soon as Keith was in sight. “I know we told you your leading was crappy, but that didn’t mean we wanted you to just stop leading!”

Keith wavered, still on the ramp, and found something unseen to lean against. There was still blood oozing out around his fingers.

Allura cleared her throat. “Yes, I...I think what Lance is trying to say is, we’re not sure what happened out there, but we were left floundering a bit without anyone giving us any direction. Thankfully, all turned out well in the end, but something like that simply cannot happen again.”

She was right. It couldn’t.

“It was like you just...froze up,” Pidge offered. He tried to look at her, but she and Hunk seemed to be dancing around each other, switching places. It made him even dizzier than he already was.

“Yeah, big bad Mullet, scared of a bunch of Galra fighters.” There was a pause where no one said anything. “Well, come on, man, don’t you have anything to say for yourself?”

Keith opened his mouth, and left it that way for a moment as he desperately tried to force some words to come out. “‘m s’rry.” Spots swam in front of his vision. “I...think…’ve been stabbed.”

His knees buckled. Distantly, he thought he heard someone shout his name, but a second later the black spots had taken over and he was out.

When he next opened his eyes, it was to the sight of the front of a pod dissipating. He stumbled forward until a steady pair of hands latched onto his arms and stilled him.

“We really need to talk about your view of team leadership, Keith,” Allura’s voice said softly in his ear.

His heart sank. “I know.”

“Don’t you know that team leaders aren’t perfect, that they have to let their team take care of them sometimes?”

Keith froze, unsure if he was hearing correctly. Stepping back, Allura smiled gently at him, her hands still on his arms. “Next time, you should tell us that you’ve been stabbed before you’re passing out from blood loss.”

Ducking his head, Keith let his lips quirk up just a little. “Yeah. I’ll...try to do that.”

“Good,” Lance declared from somewhere nearby. “Because I want that to be the last time that I have to drag your unconscious Black Paladin butt to the infirmary.”

Pidge scoffed. “You so did not do the dragging.” 

“Did, too!”

“Yeah, man, that was definitely Allura,” Hunk commented.

“I helped!”

Keith’s smile grew, and he shook his head. If they were going to give him another chance to get this whole leading thing right, then he guessed he could give himself another chance, too.