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send-allmyloving · 4 years ago

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Trigger Warning: depression, suicidal ideation, mentions of drugs/scars from s*lf-h*rm

[8:42 PM]

Depression has dragged you under its waves for the 5th time this week. You’ve been feeling like trash the entire month, ever since getting out of the hospital. Your boyfriend, Rei, has been supportive the entire time, even taking off a week from school to care for you after your discharge. You were supposed to feel better about that.

Instead it made you feel worse. Like you were a burden.

And you still feel like one. So you’ve decided not to tell Rei about your situation at the moment, and every time he calls you to check in while he’s away for the day at Yumenosaki, you push down your sadness and fake joy in your voice, thinking he’ll be gullible enough to believe it.

He doesn’t, but you still try regardless.

You’ve been doing that for the entire week, seeing how far you can pull off such a huge lie. You know you’ll break eventually, but you can’t let yourself drag him down under the waves with you.

It’s getting hard to breathe. There’s an imaginary weight on your chest, and it’s pressing down even further onto you as you lie there on your bed, staring up at the ceiling with bloodshot eyes, your face wet from the tears you shed earlier.

You haven’t showered. You’ve been able to pull off looking decent with some dry shampoo and some deodorant, but you’ve not been able to get yourself to bathe for days. And you can’t bear the thought of having Rei help you take a bath, like you’re some sort of baby. You’re not.

And yet... you just wish that you could be cared for like that right now.

Your hair is a tangled, matted mess. Your skin feels cold and dry, and icky. You feel so...

Tired.

You just want to black out, slip away from reality, even if it’s just for a little bit, so you don’t have to feel like complete utter shit. Oh, what you’d give to take a few sedatives so you could relieve yourself from your suffering.

But alas, the pills are locked away, and so are the sharps. You can’t do anything, and so you’re left to lay on your bed in an old shirt and PJs, and feel like a fucking mess.

Your hear the front door click and creak open softly. Your boyfriend came back from classes particularly early today.

Shit. What do I do? I can’t look this fucking weak. Not in front of him. Not after all he’s been doing for me. That’s just pathetic.

You sit up, doing your best to smooth down your hair and rub the grime from your face. You stretch out the crooks in your back and neck, and then you practice your smile.

No, not like that, that feels really fake.

Nope, too tight, he’s not gonna buy it.

God, that feels even more pathetic. Come on, (Name), you’ve done this before. Why can’t you do it now?

You drag your palms over your face, sighing exasperatedly. There’s no way you can pull it off. Not with how you’re looking right now.

“(Name)?” you hear his familiar, deep voice call out to you softly, the padding of his feet growing louder as he makes his way to the bedroom.

Rei peeks in, crimson eyes searching through the darkness and finally landing on your figure sitting up in bed, your face still buried in your hands.

“(Name)...” he calls out again, even softer than the last, making his way over to you. You slowly raise your face from your hands, looking up to see him in front of you, kneeling in front of you at your bedside. He always looks so handsome; a pale face, slim nose, and blood red eyes, all framed by long, wavy raven locks of hair. Guilt wells up in your heart as you see his eyes darken with sadness as he looks on at you, lifting a hand to caress your cheek.

“C’mere,” he mutters, taking your hands to guide you up to your feet. You stumble a little, feeling your head spin; you haven’t eaten all day, and your body was completely weakened.

Rei puts a firm hand on your waist to steady you, helping you walk to the bathroom. He readies your toothbrush, handing it to you so that you can clean your teeth. You slowly but surely start to brush your teeth, Rei gently rubbing your back and shoulders in the process.

“Good job baby, I’m so proud of you...” he murmurs, kissing your head once you finish. He places a hand on your back, guiding you to the bathtub.

The tub starts to fill with water, and you stand before him as he carefully undresses you. It isn’t sexual; his hands are gentle, ever so slightly brushing your skin as he rids each old garment and throws it into the laundry basket. He’s caring, placing kisses to your cheek, your stomach, your knee; any patch of skin revealed as each piece of clothing is taken off is granted with a brush of his lips, especially the parts of skin marred with old scars from your past reckless coping methods; his way of telling you how much he loves you, even with the darkest, ugliest parts of you.

It’s quiet. Your bottom lip quivers; you take a shaky breath, trying not to let your emotions break down the floodgates with how overwhelmingly kind and loving he’s being towards you. Rei turns off the tap, and places you into the tub. The water is warm, and you wait, silently appreciating the sensation of the waves of water gently lapping at your skin as Rei rolls up the ankles of his pants before sitting at the edge of the tub facing you.

He rolls up his sleeves and takes the bottle of shampoo resting in the corner. He works at your hair first, wetting your hair before lathering the shampoo onto your head, gentle fingers massaging your scalp and running soothingly between your strands.

Then comes the conditioner. He works through your locks the same way, and you close your eyes, starting to relax under his touch. Rei chuckles softly, seeing your expression. He rinses off the conditioner, and reaches for the loofa and body wash.

This is when you start to come apart. He’s even lighter with his touch this time, making sure not to scrub too hard, slowly spreading the suds across your skin as he rubs your arms and chest, gently lifting your knees to work the loofa across your legs.

Why is he being so careful? Why does he think I even deserve this?

You feel the tears prick your eyes, and your throat starts to tighten. You press your lips together, inhaling sharply.

No, I can’t cry right now. Not when he’s already taking care of me like this... I’ll just look like a fucking baby.

But that doesn’t stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks. Not when Rei’s being so sweet with how his fingers run across your body as he rinses off the soap, caressing every part of your skin with the utmost affection and care. Your breathing becomes shaky again, and you hug your chest, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Hey.” You open your eyes to his deep and gentle voice calling out to you, seeing Rei lean in and brush a damp thumb across your cheeks, wiping away the tears that spilled before planting a soft kiss to your forehead.

“I love you,” he breathes, moving his hands down to rub your arms. “It’s gonna be okay.”

And that’s when you break.

The first sob slips past your lips, followed by a hiccup. And then another sob. And another.

You squeeze your eyes back shut, not being able to take in how he looks at you. One hand moves soothingly across your bare back, while the other slips under the water to take your hand. You cry, your body trembling, collapsing in on itself as you convulse from the sobs. He hushes you lovingly, slowly running his hands along your torso while he kisses the tears away.

Your sobs eventually fade, the warmth of the water and his touch soothing away your tremors. He pulls back calmly, reaching over to pull the drain.

You look up at him, and feel your heart tear at seeing the pain in his expression, how much he’s suffering to see you in such a state of misery.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, looking down at the sudsy water, tracing your hand over the bubbles, trying to distract yourself from the pang of guilt in your chest.

He places a finger on your chin, tilting it up and guiding you to look back into his crimson eyes.

He smiles softly at you. It’s a smile full of comfort. He knows what you’re going through. He knows it’s nothing you should be sorry for.

And he wants you to know it too.

“It’s not your fault, baby,” he reassures you gently, running his fingers through your hair once again. “It never is, okay?”

He caresses your cheek, and you close your eyes as his lips meet yours briefly. You nod in understanding, and he beams. “よしよし*,” he murmurs, patting your cheek.

Rei helps you out of the tub before getting the fluffiest, cleanest towel from the linen closet. He rubs it over your body, making sure every inch of you is clean and dry, before moving up to your hair. He tousles it, getting out as much of the water as he can, and occasionally lifting the hem of the towel to plant a kiss on your nose with a grin, and his heart leaps when he sees your lips spread into a little smile. He feels like he succeeded, even if by little bit, in making you feel better despite your mental state.

Wrapping the towel around you, he turns you around to face the mirror and reaches over to the counter to pick up a brush and the hair dryer. You look down, not being able to take in the sight of yourself, even after being cleaned so thoroughly.

Placing a chaste kiss to your neck, Rei turns the dryer onto the lowest setting, slowly combing through the remaining tangles as he dries out the leftover dampness. He’s mindful, as always, being as gentle as possible so as not to hurt you.

He finishes, smoothing down your hair and placing a kiss to your cheek, lifting up your chin so that you make eye contact with him through the mirror. “Beautiful,” he mutters, hands trailing down to your sides.

Your cheeks burn, and you look away from him, too flustered by his loving gestures to find the words to respond to him. But you don’t have to, because he’s already busying himself with getting ready for the next task: dressing you.

Rei wraps his arms around you and picks you up bridal style, carrying you back to the room and sitting you onto the foot of the bed.

“I’ll be right back, sweetheart,” he whispers, planting a kiss to your cheek before leaving the room to get some clothes for you.

He returns only after a moment, hands full with clothing that he lays down on the bed before kneeling down in front of you and unwrapping the towel from your body, placing it on the side. First come the undergarments, fresh out of the dryer. He slips them onto you tenderly, fingers lingering near the skin of your waist before moving them away, clearing his throat, his cheeks tinged pink as he picks up a shirt for you to wear. You blush as well, fidgeting with your fingers as your mind races with ideas of what he was thinking about just then.

“Arms up,” he directs you. His voice is mellow, like an ocean breeze, and it makes you feel calmer. You barely even remember the episode you had earlier today. You obediently lift your arms, and he slips a shirt over you. It’s one of his, soft and oversized, just slightly falling off the shoulder. It smells like his lavender cologne, and the warmth of the cotton contrasts vastly against your cool skin. You feel comfortable and... safe.

Next comes your favorite pair of lounge pants. He guides you to stand up, his large hands settling on your hips, steadying your movements. He slides them up your legs until they settle around your waist. He’s precise, adjusting the hems of the pants so that you have the utmost comfort.

God. Why does he have to be so gentle?

And finally, your comfiest pair of socks. It’s cold outside, and you’ve felt frigid all day without your boyfriend by your side. He puts them carefully onto your feet, like he’s Prince Charming fitting you into a glass slipper; of course, it’s not as extravagant, but it’s just as intimate.

He leaves once again only to put the towel back on the drying rack, and is back in an instant, arms wrapped around your waist pulling you close to his chest. His hand cradles the back of your neck, massaging it, as you rest your forehead on his shoulder. His hand moves down to rub your back as he gently sways you in his embrace, kissing the top of your head.

He walks you backward slowly, so that you lie back onto the sheets. He crawls on top of you, arms on either side of your body. One hand slides up to meet with your hand, intertwining your fingers together. His long waves of hair hang loosely from around his face as he stares into your eyes lovingly, a warm smile playing onto his lips before he dips down to kiss you.

The first kiss is slow, soft, gentle. Each kiss after that is even more so than the previous, and each one is equally wholehearted, full of pure love and care. He’s patient with you, taking his time as he moves his lips against yours, drawing back only for a moment or so in between kisses to admire your serene expression. You’re relaxing into his touch, letting yourself be vulnerable only for him, because you know deep in your heart, that Rei Sakuma, the man you love, would never so much think of ever hurting you.

And he knows you trust him that much. He loves you with all his heart, and he’s vowed to himself that he would never let anyone, not even himself, lay a finger of harm on you.

Ever.

He trails kisses down your jaw to your neck, chuckling quietly against your skin as he hears you sigh in content.

“Did that feel nice?” he whispers, lips brushing against your ear as he speaks, his deep voice making your heart do somersaults in your chest.

You hum in confirmation, and Rei continues moving his lips across your neck before pulling away to place kisses onto your cheeks and nose. He snakes his free arm around your waist, rolling over so that you’re on top of him. He untangles his fingers from yours to stroke your hair, placing a kiss to your forehead as he slowly massages your scalp, smiling at how you close your eyes and lean into his touch. His other arm is wrapped around your waist protectively, occasionally slipping his hand under your shirt to run his fingers over your skin.

“Feel any better?” he asks you softly, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he continues to play with your locks.

You nod, moving to rest your forehead against his as you give him a tiny smile. “Much better,” you mumble, pressing another short kiss to his lips. “Thank you Rei. I love you.”

He beams, kissing your jaw before whispering back, “I love you too. More than you can imagine.”

You both lay there in silence for a couple minutes before Rei speaks once more, his voice ever so calm as he strokes your head.

“I bet you’re hungry. You haven’t eaten all day, have you?” he asks, concern flooding his face as he looks you over, soft fingers gliding across your cheek.

You freeze up at the question, swallowing nervously, guilt written across your face as you avoid his crimson eyes gazing upon you, your chest tightening in fear of the scolding he might give you.

“Eyes up here baby,” he murmurs, putting a hand on your cheek and coaxing you to look back at him. There’s no frustration in his expression. His voice hasn’t risen; in place of all the malice you were expecting, all you could see was the worry in his eyes being amplified.

And somehow that was much worse.

“I’m not mad at you, my love,” he soothes, stroking your cheek lovingly before kissing your nose. “I’m just so worried about you. You mean the world to me, you know...” he whispers, before slowly guiding you both up to sit. “Can I make you something, hm? Anything you want. I can even order out if that’s what you want right now,” he offers you, his voice wrapped in a blanket of kindness as he speaks to you, cupping your face affectionately as he gives you the gentlest of smiles.

You hesitate to answer, looking anywhere but his face. You really couldn’t fathom asking him for anything else after all he did for you in the past half hour or so. It would be way too much to ask for.

Your boyfriend senses your worry, moving his hands away from your face to take your hands into his before taking a deep breath to speak.

“(Name), sweetheart... nothing you ask for is ever a burden to me. You’re not a burden to me. You never have been, and you never will be. Okay? I will take care of you no matter what. I love you, my dear.”

His sweet words melt your heart. He says each phrase slowly and surely, and as he finishes you feel tears prick your eyes again, watching him bring your hands up to his lips, placing a soft kiss onto the back of each palm.

He sees a tear leak from the corner of one of your eyes, and he reaches forward slowly, brushing it away with the lightest touch.

“Now then, my love,” he says, fixing a strand of your hair absentmindedly as he speaks, “Anything on your mind for what you want to eat?”

You take a deep breath, before mustering up a small smile as you look back up at him. “Surprise me,” you say, poking his nose playfully.

Rei grins, ruffling your hair as he stands up, taking your hand to lead you to the kitchen. He sits you onto a chair at the kitchen table, flashing you a smirk before walking away to collect the ingredients for the dinner.

As he starts to cook, he makes conversation with you to fight off the thoughts that threaten to plague your mind again; he just knows that you need it, so he doesn’t ask questions, just speaks. He talks about anything, from the chaos that Koga caused throughout the day, to how cute his “darling children”, the Ra*bits and 2wink, were behaving. He asks you about the latest serials you’ve been watching, and you tell him about the plot as he listens earnestly, throwing in the occasional commentary to show that he’s listening though his attention is focused on cooking. It’s the mundane things like this, these little conversations, the delicious scent of spices and herbs in the air as you watch him stir and simmer the ingredients together, that make even your worst days the slightest bit more bearable.

A few moments later, he’s sitting next to you, blowing a little on the hot fried rice that he prepared before guiding the spoonful towards your mouth. You eat, humming in satisfaction at the taste. Rei chuckles, placing a kiss to the crown of your head. “That’s my baby. I’m so proud of you,” he says, smiling brightly at you as he continues to feed you.

You continue to chew your food, your confused, lost eyes meeting with his ruby red ones as you silently ask him: why? Why would he be proud of you? You didn’t do much today.

He reads your expression easily, and he puts the spoon down, taking your hand once again, his gaze morphing into a more serious one. “Because even when you were being weighed down completely, you worked with me to get you cleaned up. You didn’t try too hard to mask your emotions. And look at you! You’re eating your food, you didn’t even say no when I told you that you should eat something,” he says ecstatically, grinning proudly at you as he gives your hand a gentle squeeze. “I know that even the smallest tasks can be incredibly hard for you to do when you’re like this, and I’m never mad when you can’t do them... but I’m just so proud to see that you’re trying. I love you so much, (Name). I’m so proud of you.”

You swallow your food slowly, eyes widening as you hear his voice break and see his eyes well up with tears. “Rei...” you whisper, reaching out to gently touch his face.

“Ah... sorry, I’m okay. I just got emotional is all,” he mutters, laughing quietly as he wipes at his eyes. “I just... I want you to be okay, (Name). And I won’t stop at anything to see you get that spark back in you again,” he murmurs, cupping your face in his palms as he rests his forehead against yours.

“Rei... I love you so much. Thank you. For everything. You’ve supported me through so much and I... I don’t know what to say...” you whisper back, breath catching in your throat, fingers curling through his wavy black locks as he litters your face with soft kisses.

“I’m just so glad you’re with me, Rei. But I don’t know how I can make it up to you for all you’ve done for me...” you breathe, feeling the anxiety rise up in your body, your mind starting to cloud with the stupid thought: you’re a burden to everyone.

“I don’t want you to do anything for me,” he says soothingly, taking a hand off your cheek to rub your arm. “All I want is for you to stay with me. I want you to stay alive for me. That’s all I want. You can do that, yeah?” he asks, lips brushing softly against your eyelid, your eyes fluttering shut at the touch.

You’re hesitant, biting at your lip, before he plants a short kiss to your lips, drawing your attention back to him.

“I promise. That’s all I want.”

You breathe a sigh, leaning into his touch as he caresses your cheek. Silently, you nod.

“That’s a good darling. I love you,” he says softly with a smile, pulling his hand back so that he can continue to feed you.

You finish your dinner, and find yourself wrapped in blankets, sitting on the sofa. You’re holding your favorite stuffed animal and watching TV, greeting Ritsu as he enters through the front door, coming back late from his practice. Rei greets him enthusiastically, the younger one waving him off as he sits down at the table to have his fill of food. The environment is calm, and Ritsu comes around to lie down on your lap after having finished his dinner and getting ready for bed. He quietly asks if you’re doing okay, and you gently reassure him that you’re feeling better than earlier, thanks to his big brother. He yawns, making some rather amusing comment about how Rei must have been a bother with all his nagging, and you let out a breathy laugh, patting his head.

It’s finally time to sleep. Rei carefully guides a fast asleep Ritsu to lie down properly on the couch, tucking him in with more blankets before picking up your exhausted figure and carrying you to the bedroom. Rei holds you close under the blankets, absentmindedly stroking your hair while his free arm is thrown around your waist, occasionally leaning down to give you a lazy kiss on the lips.

“Rei?” you quietly call him, tugging lightly at the fabric of his shirt.

“Yeah? What is it baby?” he responds, voice deeper and raspy with sleep.

“Thank you... again. I love you.”

He smiles, crimson eyes glowing faintly with adoration in the darkened room as he gazes at you.

“You don’t need to thank me, angel. I love you too. So much...” he sighs, pulling you closer, resting his chin atop your head.

You slowly start drift off, safe and sound in his warm embrace, the scent of lavender and mint calming your mind, his presence shielding you from the impending doom of your nightmares and upsetting thoughts.

“Rest, my beloved,” he murmurs.

“I’m here.”

* Author's note: よしよし - gender neutral way of praising a child or lover, very much like "good boy/good girl" (please correct me if I'm wrong, this is just from what I know, my Japanese is very limited)

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kurimiaki · 2 years ago

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Not that you’ll ever go home again.

Pirate!Rei Sakuma

Content warning: dark content, death, misogynistic undertones

“My lady… I really must advise you against this.”

Eleanor is not a cruel master. Though a young woman now, she’s still a child, a terribly spoiled one, raised with a golden shovel in her mouth rather than a spoon. But Eleanor has not grown haughty nor depraved from her privileged uprising, her imposing ranking as a count’s eldest daughter— and as her darling maid, close to her in age and in friendship (always so tight-knit, sharing hushed secrets under the covers), you can easily vouch for her humanity and humility. Within Eleanor is an endless well of kindness.

Eleanor is a good girl, a gentle one, but she’s never been greatly aware of the dangers this world possesses. Your lady is beautiful, well-off, too naive, and this is why you refuse to let her out of your sight. Not for even a moment— you’ve sworn as much to her doting father. You’re all too aware of the sleazy, preying eyes of supposedly ‘dignified�� men around her, conscious of every rumor that seems to breeze by your bubbly master. Peers name Eleanor a promiscuously pompous brat, and in the eyes of nobility, this has become general consensus. They name her a woman out of her wits. You could hardly fathom agreeing with such mockery, rather loathe it, but at present, you’re inclined to concur with the latter statement.

“Oh, [Name], you are much too distrusting. That kind man so generously pointed us to our ship, and yet you remain too scared to board.” Eleanor teasingly side-eyes you, both hands rested upon her hips as she digests the hulking ship before her. While it does appear to be a royal vessel, by the familiar golden crest dawned on its crimson flag, there doesn’t appear to be a single presence of life upon its deck. The docking stairs are drawn, sure, and that man did appear trustworthy, almost regal. Virtually everything has nodded to this ships legitimacy, and yet, hesitance gnaws at your heart. You don’t want to move forward.

At your lack of response, and the expression of unease you’re unable to keep in check, Eleanor tugs on your dress. She leans closer to you, brushing aside the umbrella you hold over her, and smiles. “Daddy said he’d meet us later, didn’t he? Our luggage should already be in our room. I sure want to get settled in, and I think you’re due for a long nap, [Name].” She chides, tapping the tip of your nose and beaming as you fluster. Gazing into her eagerly wide honey-eyes, you sigh, closing yours for a moments contemplation before jarringly, she’s tugged you forward, taking your hand into her own.

She’s warm, sun-soaked and bright, and you fail to resist her forwardness any further. The two of you step aboard, and you nearly have to catch her from falling as she bounds up the ships ramp. An icy fear rocks your heart at the sight of raw, plummeting ocean from a crack where the ship and port meet. The waves aren’t rapid, not at all, and a gentle breeze caresses both of your cheeks as you survey the surroundings. While Eleanor grasps her hat and spins about the deck, giggling as she twirls, oo-ing and aah-ing at every little rope and mechanism, you yell for her to watch her footing as she peers over the ships side into blue waters.

It’s odd, how quiet it is. This silence uproots you, teases your nerves. Of course, there’s the bustling of nobles and commoners and sailors about the port, discussing potential business ventures, or perhaps the royal voyage soon to set sail, but this ship is devoid of all life. Surely a captain or crew member would hold guard over such an expensive craft, but the more you fret and search about the upper deck, the more apparent your isolation becomes. Eleanor’s brown hair shines in your peripheral, and in spite of your every present fear and agitation, you reluctantly smile at her relentlessly contagious joy.

Taking a moment to settle your young lady, being twirled around the deck yourself once or twice in the process, you insist on retiring to your shared room (you’d impressed upon her how improper it was for a maid to share her master’s quarters, but Eleanor had never been one for the conventional). Room 6, you recall, having repeated the number to yourself over and over whilst in the carriage, concerned for a sudden bout of forgetfulness that is uncharacteristic to your due diligence. Everything shall be perfect, needs to be, for your lady— perhaps this way of thinking is why the emptiness of this vessel startles you so. You anticipate everything. Had thought of just the right greeting for the captain, the crew, for the other servants you’d be working beside— but things hadn’t gone to plan, and you find your anxiety increasing tenfold.

The hall of the living quarters has a thin carpet of velvet, softening the clicks of your heels, and Eleanor urges you to ‘take in the sights’, though you instead find yourself dissecting the slight… uncleanliness of the hall your lady walks. It’s not immediately noticeable, but you’re greatly accustomed to standards of hygiene. Your days are spend making and remaking beds, sweeping floors, washing linens, cleaning and decorating and organizing, all for your lovely lady. And judging the faint cobwebs wisping from light fixtures, dust on framed landscapes lining the wall, even on the windows, this vessel is not exactly up to par. It’s so odd. Supposedly, a duchess is meant to board this ship, so how could one allow cobwebs to grace this hall? You want to bring it up to Eleanor, but of course she’s found her room, already eagerly throwing open the door, bouncing herself upon a red duvet. It wasn’t locked.

Odd.

This room is clean, at least. The ceiling is surprisingly high, and a bay window is placed to the right of the room, giving way to a view of the port and its inhabitants— at least it’ll be open ocean the moment you set sail. It’s lovely, really. However, it is devoid of the luggage you expected to have arrived already. Your annoyance must show on your face, for Eleanor’s giggling simmers out into silence. You return from shutting the door to her lying spread eagle upon the large canopy bed. Gliding across the room to shut the curtains, not willing to risk the encroachment of Eleanor’s privacy, you question what the matter is.

“My lady, are you dissatisfied?” You begin, gently, moving to take her shoes off, and she languidly stares at the high-beamed ceiling. You follow suit, as you instinctively undo her laces, and furrow your brows as you spot yet another cobweb. Suddenly, Eleanor snaps her head to face you, a mischievous grin creeping upon her lips, though without real malice. Raising a brow, you slip off her remaining shoe, and at once your lady rockets forward to lock you in a harsh embrace. It knocks the wind out of you, how tightly Eleanor squeezes, and you nearly choke as she falls backwards onto plush pillows, sending you with her.

Laying by her side, you huff an indignant little sigh, shaking your head in faux disappointment before turning to her. Eleanor’s brown locks are tussled, and an exhausted red flushes her freckled cheeks. Such a pretty girl, her current frown does not suit her. Taking her hand into your own, you ask once more the cause of her dismay, but Eleanor only shakes her head. “You know… Daddy told me I’ll be meeting another candidate on this voyage.” Ah. She’s found out. You swallow, hesitant, but nod in agreement, never one to lie. Not to her. Gazing at your face, searching, something must break within your lady, because her eyes glaze over with tears. Ripping her hand away from you, she turns to bury her head in a feathered pillow.

“You’ll ruin your hair, my lady.” She groans, frustratedly, lilted voice cracking. “Then fix it!” She sobs, and you frown, a similar kind of sadness bubbling within you, too. You don’t want to depart from your lady, of course, but she seems to think marriage will bar her from your presence indefinitely. Eleanor has always felt things a little deeper than others, you believe, her body is wracked by tears and whimpering cries. She loves strongly, lives happily, but Eleanor seldom ever breaks. Never before anyone but you. Soothing, you rub a hand to her trembling back.

Muffled by pillows, her words are nearly inaudible, and as you point this out, she tearily rises her burrowed face. So quickly her bright cheeks dimmed from a smile to a quivering frown, and as Eleanor falls to lay her head in your lap, you hope to see her gaiety as soon as possible. Eleanor voices her every present fear, worry that her potential fiancé will be a crude, haggard man of 68, and that you’ll marry a poor man in turn, having ten babies that will occupy your attention so wholly, you won’t even think of the ten years you spent by Eleanor’s side. And you laugh, and she flusters, bristling and shouting it’s not funny! while you fight to collect yourself.

Tears of hilarity prick the corners of eyes that have been dry for quite some time, and at your pleasure, a small smile quirks the corner of Eleanor’s lips. “You think too deeply of your future, my sweet lady, with so much unnecessary worry. Is your father not a conscientious man, one who takes into account your every desire?” Puffing her cheeks, your lady nods, and you assure her that her fiancé is anything but old: a proper and handsome young baron, one who’s recently happened upon a very promising fill of crude oil— you had a say in the potential candidates. Nothing but the best for you, you hum, and she raises a hand to brush your cheek, and you smile. Eleanor, still so filled with worry, demands that you promise to stay by her side.

The two of you lay together, and you keep to yourself as she clings to your waist, as per usual. You’ve yet to change out of the clothes you boarded with, and you want to go in search of her luggage, but can’t be bothered. For a time, the two of you talk, mostly Eleanor speaking on and on of her hopes for the future, of the sights that you’ll see together when you finally arrive at your first destination, and for years after that. You dance around promising something that will inevitably end up broken.

She falls asleep first, with strands of brown hair sprawling across your chest, her arms kept tight around your midriff. As if the moment she let go, you’d dissipate into the open air. It’s difficult for you to follow suit, but even through thick curtains the setting sun blares warmly over the two of you.

Faint orange light cocoons you, and in this state of blissful serenity and sleep, your previous disquietude seems to melt away.

—

It’s night when you wake, and the previous bustling of the port has been replaced with the sound of waves. You grown as you rise, wincing at the sharp, digging pain your corset imbeds on your waist, unused to sleeping in such a torturous device. And you move to wake Eleanor, who’s never risen before you, eager to help change her into something suitable to meet her father, but she is not there. Your lady is not clinging to you, she is not in the attached bathroom, not tucked away in the bay window with a novella, not waiting to shock you from the depths of the closet. She’s seemingly dissipated, missing, and a terrible anxiety shocks your heart at the sight of her loose shoes. Presently, she hasn’t any other pair— though it isn’t appearances you’re concerned with.

Your anxiety quickly gives way to terror. The curtains are drawn open now, the inky black of the sea outside only serving to worsen your creeping panic. Of course, her father’s quarters are merely across from this room— it’s entirely plausible that she snuck away to greet him without rousing you. Yes, surely that’s it, you reconcile, now dawning your own heels. You fail to fasten the shoe lace repeatedly, ignoring the trembling of your hands. Eleanor is hardly ever out of your sight. It’s miserable, how irreversibly attached the two of you are, how quickly you’re sent into a tizzy when unaware of her exact location. She’s with her father, you assent, rising to full height, she’s with her father, you recite, as you shakily step towards the door, turning a golden handle with sweaty palms. She’s with her father. You echo this, repeat this, pray, as you cross the hall, eyes darting from left to right, staring at the staircase, and you bite your tongue at how silent and empty it is.

It’s silent, and once more, you are alone. You pause before the door, room 12, reads a golden plaque, and you freeze in horror at nothing but this silence. There’s only the rushing of waves and the endless fluttering of your heart, like a rabid bird against your rib cage, and the cause of such panicked despair is this all-consuming silence. If your lady was with her father, this door would be shaking with the ferocity of their blaring laughter and conversation. This silence is odd, misplaced, and it wholly unnerves you. It’s only six, as the rooms clock had read— there is no possibility of her slumber, much less his. If Eleanor was behind this door, you would know. And though you know she is not, you raise a fist and lightly knock upon the mahogany wood.

The door creaks open almost instantly (as if they had anticipated your query), and it is not your lady who stands there. Of course, you expected this, but a horrified gasp erupts all the same. The count is a stout, chubby man, short enough to require a downward tilt of your head to meet his gaze. Instead, your neck cranes to meet the honey-brown eyes of a stranger, one whose face crinkles in glee at the sight of you. You stay frozen and gaping as he crosses his arms, leaning against the doorframe and he appraises you.

“Now… this is the first I’ve heard of us getting a maid,” The stranger croons, in a perverse tone that makes your spine shiver, “are you hear to clean my room?” And god, your chest hurts from how harshly your heart pounds. Spluttering, unable to collect yourself or gather a modicum of proper etiquette, you step back in rapid secession— it must look silly, for this stranger laughs a cruel laugh, guffawing at how affrighted you are. In front of anyone, you’d normally jump to correct such disrespectful gestures, but as you turn to bound down the hall, you can’t seem to care.

As you shakily grasp at the stair’s railings, ascending the winding staircase with a sense of great urgency, you don’t bother to look back, as the brown haired stranger calls after you. Your mind is consumed with thoughts of Eleanor, fears that used to seem so compulsive and irrational, now seeming credible with each passing moment she is not by your side. You felt this ship was dangerous, suspicious, you knew, and yet you allowed your darling young lady to traverse its deck, to sleep in its underbelly. Now Eleanor is not by your side, and you endure a fear so raw and intense, you hardly feel the frigid salty air as you burst through ornate double doors and onto the front deck.

And it’s so loud.

How could this noise have gone unnoticed? How could you have withstood such silence moments before? It’s too loud, this noise too rupturing, and you jump to cup your ears with your hands.

Surveying your surroundings, it quickly becomes clear that you have boarded the wrong ship. There isn’t a single nobleman or woman in sight, only loud men dressed in leathers and feathers and gold, gaudy, audacious colors that are foreign to the noble trends of your country. A royal ship would not have tambourines and shanties and so much booze— it reeks of it, burning your nose. On the lower deck, these men dance and drunkenly sway with linked arms, expressions of unabashed glee on rugged faces. And in the darker corners, lacking the emissive light of gas lanterns and candles, some men brawl, smashing bottles and wrestling and bludgeoning one another ruthlessly. It’s bloody, completely foreign to you, barbaric. A bit of bile creeps up your throat.

And in the midst of it all, there isn’t the faintest glimpse of your darling young lady.

So suddenly you knock the wind out of yourself, you rush down a small flight of stairs, now running into this cesspool of drunken desire and brutality. You’re unsure why you’d run, charging headfirst into such blatant danger. Men pass by you in a flurry of deep reds, purples, greens and pinks, and under their leather jackets and rags, your eyes catch glimpses of sharp silver, knives, machetes, guns that you’d only ever seen unused with the royal guard. You’re petrified, nearly frozen by your repulsive fear, but you don’t stop rushing to find Eleanor. So irreversibly inebriated, hardly any of these men take note of you, smaller by comparison. Your eyes are impossibly wide, glazed over by tears (it’s been too long since you’ve cried, forever since you’ve been so, so scared), and you fail to notice the divots in the dark floorboards before you.

Your heel catches on a particularly large hole, and you fall hard, without a moment to brace your hands upon the splintering deck, but such harsh impact never comes.

No, you are instead cocooned, totally enveloped in a gentle hold. Faintly, among this loud, you hear a man gently inquiring if you were all right. Lithe, light, hardly making an impression upon you, these arms are cold. Frigid, much like the air, almost dead. Looking up, breathing and heaving uncontrollably, you see a man with red eyes smiling down upon you. Red eyes, you think, baffled, crimson, and you physically feel your brows stitch together in a mix of shock and awe and horror. Hair so black it melts with the nights sky. Only for a moment do you forget yourself, lost in those burning red eyes, so unfitting for such a deadly cold man. He leans in, and you lean away, but the gently gripping cold does not release you.

“I said,” he leans to whisper in your ear, and you very obviously shiver, “are you alright?” His dulcet, leering tone unnerves you harsher than any silence, and you forget your every respect and regard for etiquette once more as you shove him away. It takes more force than you had anticipated, and though he’s a few steps away now, you must tilt your head at a painful angle to meet his gaze. Behind you, in your frenzied state of fear and humiliation and fury, you fail to brush away warm hands that fall to cup your shoulders. You whimper when they do, head falling defeatedly as your panic-induced mania seems to meet its climax. “Ah. Kaoru. I trust you’ve gotten enough rest?” Voice free of that telltale condescension, the crimson eyed man now stares above you, smiling without reservation and in kind.

“I have… But Rei, Captain, you didn’t tell me we’d brought such a sweetheart on board.” And you somehow recognize this as room 12’s lone inhabitant, his suffocating proximity allowing you to discern his voice from the jovial uproar around you. Crimson eyes fall upon you once more, a bit wider now, and you feel like crying as this man— the captain of this ship, apparently— rakes your body up and down, as if he were to dissect you. And as if something clicks, this captain frowns, his own brows furrowing in apparent displeasure. “Mm. I rather think you’re frightening this young lady, aren’t you, Kaoru?” He croons, his eyes unwavering and unmoving from your form, dismissive of the previous inquiry. With a slight tilt of his head, this man ensures that Kaoru’s hands are off of you, such a small gesture prompting the latter to remove himself instantly.

He backs off, hands raised as if he’d been caught in the act of something sinister, but smiles. Honey-brown eyes gloss over you once more, and with a final nod of his head, Kaoru departs.

And you’re left alone with the captain. The bustling crew-mates prancing about the deck seem like an afterthought, if only for a moment, and you nearly forget what you were looking for, gazing into those harsh crimson eyes. As if they had ensnared you, you bemoan, scantly feeling grateful that he had just freed you of that man’s touch. One fiend to another. At your side, you flick your thumbs. “I apologize, my friend can be a tad touchy,” As if he hadn’t held you in his arms mere moments ago, “but your presence is somewhat misplaced here, don’t you agree?”

Warily, you nod, feeling quite like a live bird on a vivisection table. The captain gleefully smiles, flashing a row of sharp pearly whites, and you flinch. Everything about him is unnatural. “I certainly don’t recall enlisting the help of a maid… perhaps you were snuck aboard by a subordinate of mine? They do yearn for a woman’s touch.” It’s obvious that he’s insinuating your services are more sultry and sinister, as if you were some stowaway common whore. Repulsion fills you. He notices this, and is quick to wave away your growing tension, a crude smile stuck on his face.

“Of course not. I apologize, my dear—“ Brushing past him, feeling this man undeserving of your rational opposition, you embark once more through the brutal crowd, this time steeling your nerves.

But you hardly make it three steps forward before a cold hand encircles your bicep. Halting, you turn to meet those crimson eyes, still burning, but now more concerned as they trace your furious expression. You don’t have time for this. You must to find her, and you can hardly imagine this man is trustworthy enough to help you do so. He pulls you towards him, not without a moments resistance on your part, and begins to walk back towards those ornate doors.

“Excuse me! Hey- let me go!” You bark, in an unbecoming and vicious tone, though your face gives way to how unsettled you are. This uproar attracts some eyes to you, and you notice Kaoru staring in your peripheral. The captain merely tilts his head to you apologetically, faintly saying just one moment, but you don’t falter in your affront. “I said let me go!”

Never in your life have you laid your hands on a man. Certainly not in violence. You’ve only had reason to touch and serve Eleanor, to be by her side, to fret and care and wrap her ailing wounds when she cries. You’ve never hurt another person, but you were about to, hand poised to slap this man away. Harshly. There’s a slightly resounding crack as your wrist meets his open palm, as if he was prepared to intercept your attack the moment you summoned the gumption to raise your hand. Astoundingly, he hardly glances back to you, merely continuing up the stairs and towards the living quarters.

Moments ago, the deck was shaking from the liveliness of its inhabitants. All dancing and fighting and drinking and singing has ceased, with only a few spare drunkards continuing in their charades. It’s silent, and a fearful shiver crawls your spine. You needn’t look back to know how many eyes are on you, the indignant little thing that dares to strike their captain. If your lady hasn’t taken notice of you by now… you can’t imagine her possible whereabouts. She had been so excited to prance about the deck, to bask in open, unpolluted air— but Eleanor hates the dark. She would never conjoin with a group of such intensely violent nature.

He’s taken you behind hand-carved mahogany doors, and as its hinges close, the atmosphere grows silent once more. The painful loud has halted. You do, too, unable to summon the same rage that possessed you moments ago. Your ire has diluted, and fear takes hold. “Would you care to join me for wine? Tea, or whatever you’d prefer. I’m sure you’re hungry,” He’s still holding your bicep, correct in thinking you’d jump to run away, “and I’m eager to hear your reasons for sneaking on my ship.”

You haven’t much say in the matter, as he promptly escorts you to a room you can only assume is the captains quarters. Such a demanding presence, under that polite countenance, such a pressurizing man. Eleanor would sooner run off and hide than subject herself to a conversation with him, not dissimilar to yourself. But you’re not as mentally feeble, unwilling to bow your head even when teasing the threshold of his domain. The office is decorated similarly to Eleanor’s room, dark red velvets complimented by swirling gold accents, cushy chairs, Persian carpet, black-stained bookshelves that house a small array of plants and tombs. It’s too elegant for a merchant ship, befitting of a royal, but this man is anything but.

You jolt away as icy hand fall to your lower back, attempting to lure you into a seat. He chuckles as you settle yourself with a huff, arms crossing in a protective gesture. “My name is Rei Sakuma,” He begins, training his eyes to your features as he rounds a large desk, one stacked with letters and books and a decanter filled with wine. Rei pours a glass, smiling as you decline it with a sharp shake of your head, and drinks for himself. “I apologize for not beginning with an introduction. It was best to take you somewhere private.” He raises his legs to cross on the surface of the desk, an action you find unfitting of his admittedly polite words thus far, mildly surprising. Red eyes are brighter under the candle light, appearing almost yellow, the only significant source of illumination in this room. You find yourself hypnotized by them, forgoing a response, rather devoid of all tactful behavior, in such a state of loss and despair and confusion.

Rei does not ask for your name, and you are glad to not provide it. “They’re an unsavory bunch, my crew. Meatheads, you could call them. You must forgive me for presuming you a prostitute— it wouldn’t be the first time they’ve smuggled aboard a pretty girl like you.” You don’t fluster at the endearment, don’t feel much anything aside from fear and hesitance, but nod in cursory agreement. Tearing your eyes from his, your gaze rests in your lap. He’s trying to amend for his discrepancies, you can tell, but you don’t feel the slightest hint of gratitude or relief at his sudden deferential civility. But you do provide him your name, the act of uttering it effectively silencing him. Rei peers expectantly over the rim of his glass.

“As you said, I’m not a… prostitute, not of any sort.” That vulgar term sears your tongue, and you fight to keep headstrong, broaching an explanation in a convincingly composed air. “I- we mistook your ship for a royal craft. It’s not as if we’re stoaways, truly. We just fell asleep, assuming we were just the first to board, not thinking to-“ Rei raises a hand, politely disrupting you, an incredulous tilt to his brow. He frowns. “I’m sorry, my dear. You mean to say there are two of you? With whom did you board, exactly?”

You think of Eleanor and how positively petrified she must be. Your brain conjures a horrible image of your lady, shivering and alone, lost, trapped, hiding in some dark corner. Perhaps the men that brawled and beat one another above deck chose to disembody her, disgrace her body, hurt her. Rei questions you further, but you can only think of Eleanor, and you lose to a breaking sob. It’s humiliating, to be crying in front of this man, but you cannot will your tears away. Crumbling, shaking in your seat, you note that Rei still stares at you expectantly, unmoving and unbothered by your distress.

As you introduce your master to this man, you try to sober yourself, you do, but your words come out wary and unsure, cracking. You sniffle and hiccup from this onslaught of tears, explaining her aristocratic standing, that this voyage was intended for her engagement, that your poor, poor Eleanor was only praying for a reprieve from rigid nobility, and now she’s missing. You continuously forget yourself, not thinking for a moment that this man is not here to help you, that he’s dragged you here unwillingly, that the kept smile on his lips is one of amused mirth. You’ve just told him of a very promising means to gain wealth.

Rei’s glass clinks lightly as he sets it down, not a lone drop of wine lingering on its surface. Licking his lips, he stands and rounds your chair, placing both hands on your arms. You shiver, but not from his cold. “Eleanor… She must be very dear to you, for you to be worked up like this.” His hand slides up and down, caressing, and you recoil. It’s repulsive, he’s set on taking advantage of you. Of her. “And here I thought you were only filled with repulse.”

“If you arrived here around noon, and it’s nearly seven now… I’m sorry to say, darling, but we’re a ways away from the port. The woman you serve has likely boarded the correct vessel by now.” He draws that word out, serve, as if your devotion to Eleanor was equivalent to that of a neglected dog an its crass, cruel master. Rei pities you, you’re sure, but not in a way that compels you to think he exactly cares for your loss. You rise, brushing away his incessant affections, and glower. “She has not abandoned me! I’m insulted that you would think of her so!” You’re grateful that a chair separates the two of you— any closer, and you’d think twice about screaming.

Always smiling, Rei tuts, shaking his head, treating you like a tantrum-throwing child. As if your concerns were egregious and misplaced, and this was not your life’s purpose on the line. “Eleanor was endangered the moment she stepped on this ship. It’s my responsibility to protect her. I’ll work in her stead and clean if that’s what it takes to make amends for my mistake— until we land somewhere else, wherever that may be.” You’re not even sure he’ll permit you to search his vessel, with how quickly you’ve turned to berate him. “I don’t expect you to help me, and I do apologize for all the confusion, but I really must be searching for her.”

His eyes narrow sharply, and you lack the temper and courage to continue on such a one-sided, demeaning conversation. Interrogation, more like. His smile is still present, and as you back away, heading for the office door, you impudently refuse to let him out of your sights. You expected such a seemingly powerful individual to bite back after being lectured, but Rei hasn’t uttered a word.

Only when you open the handle do you turn your back to him. Such a simple decision on your part, and Rei finds a way to work it in his favor. The golden knob does not fully rotate, and you try to unjam it, once or twice, but he has truly locked you in here with him. What need would a ship’s captain have to secure his door, if he commands such respect? You turn to ask, prepared to demand he release you. But the world seems to tilt on its axis.

Your vision blurs, and it seems you’re falling, collapsing once more into the captain��s glacial embrace. “What…?” You moan, halfhearted and woozy, supplied with the distant sound of Rei’s pitiless laugh. He’s everywhere at once, eclipsing your senses, and quite instantly, all you see is red. Rei is staring at you, you realize, acknowledging that your limp head has fallen to his shoulder, barring your exposed neck. Your waist is cold. You don’t understand it, why you’re so faint, why the world’s landscape seems to ebb and spin in a swirl of red and black. You think you ask him what he’s done to you, and you hope you went about it cruelly, but you hear nothing in reply. Slipping from consciousness, at the very least, you feel a sharp sensation against your pulse before you succumb.

—

“Do you think she’ll be hungry, when she comes to?”

Rei hums, considering Kaoru as he stands before him, though keeping his gaze trained on your sleeping form, serene face peaking from behind the curtain that shelters his bed. Free of a frown he thought permanent, Rei muses that you look rather pretty.

“Likely. Nothing hot, though.” It would be unfortunate if you burned yourself— Rei anticipates a rather tumultuous morning, when you finally rise. Kaoru nods, moving to promptly let the chef know to prepare an extra serving, but his captain raises a hand. Rei is frowning.

“You’d do good to not scare her off, Kaoru. Someone like yourself must fathom how important love is at this stage, ripe to blossom.”

As if you have anywhere to go.

If he’s uncomfortable, Kaoru doesn’t let it show. He only nods, waiting for Rei to continue, departing when he allows him to. As second-in command, Kaoru truly respects Rei, views him as a companion and a figure to be revered— which is why he is inclined to enable him, despite how unwilling and despondent as you appear to be. He spares you one last glance before allowing the door to shut, and your fate to seal.

—

In the crows nest, high above them all, is a young girl. She sits slumped and unmoving against the masthead, tidy and regal. Almost alive, if not for her paling skin, the mangled and blood-crusted skin of her jugular. Brown hair is matted with it, that crimson fluid, curling strands void of their once glistening sheen. Her bare feet grow blue from this relentlessly cold night. He’s full.

#pirate rei had me lost and confused really depressed and scared i feel horrible actually #ensemble stars #yandere ensemble stars #enstars #yandere enstars #rei sakuma #yandere rei sakuma #rei sakuma x reader #yandere rei sakuma x reader #undead #yandere #x reader #yandere x reader #yandere scenarios #yandere drabble #yandere tw #my writing

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ixqritsu · 4 years ago

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okie okie don't wanna flood your inbox but one more: scenario/hcs for rei's reaction to his shy little (ie tiny,,,) s/o calling him "rei-chan"? (shsisjsjs bc that's what I call him in my head/when I'm gushing abt him to my friends and i tryyy not to do it too much when I'm posting stuff abt him bc it seems kinda weird but still,, it's rei-channnn and i love him so so much <3)

THIS IS SO ADORABLE ??? I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE RANT ABOUT THEIR COMFORTS WITH THEIR OWN NICKNAMES FOR THEM TO ME WAHWEKJAFLKSJ send lovemail for your favorite characters to me immediately this is a threat /lh

he’s caught so off guard, he does a quick double-take upon hearing the name— i mean physically looking back and forth at you from shock.

"what was that again?”

when you repeat the nickname back to him, he tries to laugh off his embarrassment but it’s pretty apparent that his shyness is taking over

the tips of his ears start turning pink and you can spot just a tinge of blush. rei sakuma is blushing and he definitely does not blush easy

you’re honestly the last person he’d expect to get a nickname from

no one really calls him his given name much and he thinks its super cute

he mentally declares that nickname as reserved for you to use and nobody else can call him that

#rei sakuma #rei sakuma x reader #enstars #ensemble stars #enstars headcanons #enstars imagines #enstars scenarios

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suzumekoi · 5 years ago

Photo

Road back home

#my art #drawing #digital art #enstars #ensemble stars #rei sakuma #koga oogami #reikoga #kogarei #sunset #undead #more sunset scenario

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enstarsscenarios · 5 years ago

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Hi! ^^ Could I request some HCs about Rei and his s/o? In particular, I wanted to ask what it takes to fluster him like is there something his s/o does that’ll always make him blush or cause his heart to race?

hiya! sure thing! we’re so sorry if it’s too short or anything, but we hope you like it ♡

☆ Rei is kinda hard to fluster, since he’s the one that always makes his s/o blush

☆ He’s just too smooth

☆ But there are times where his s/o makes his heart beat a little faster uwu

☆ Catching him off guard always flusters him, things like;;

☆ His s/o hugging him from behind in the hallway

☆ Also landing a quick kiss on his cheek passing by

☆ Although he does quickly turn the situation around in his favor ;)

☆ Also when his s/o says something smooth even when they don’t mean to

☆ He really doesn’t expect it

☆ He has to take a moment to compose himself

☆ Rei always loves to tease his s/o, so when they respond back with the same playfulness, he gets real excited.

#enstars #headcanons #sakuma rei #rei sakuma #rei is so smooth #but so is his s/o #scenarios #smooth #we love our vampire boy #ensemble stars #enstars headcanons #ensemble stars headcanons #enstars scenarios #ensemble stars scenarios #anime #rei headcanons #enstars sakuma rei #ensemble stars rei #WE STAN UNDEAD

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angstars · 6 years ago

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hello admins!! can i get a scenario where rei asks his s/o to be his lover through some live concert or something? also your works are great!!

the amount of cute! this whole ask and concept is, it’s taking all my heart oof and thank you so much for liking our works!!

ミ☆

The venue is hot and brimming with so much energy. A sea of bright, colorful lightstick moves in between the ocean of darkness, shouts of adoration directed at the stage and a few shed some tears from the overwhelming fact of seeing their idol so close to them.

The members of UNDEAD stand on the stage with the brightest of smile. Chest heaving and panting from breath, their energy on high and it feels unreal that they’re performing for so much— for the immense support everyone has given them.

Gazing at the epitome of brightness; the closest thing he’ll ever get to the stars, a small laugh escapes from Rei’s lips because even between those endless stars, the limitless brightness, he knows that you’re between all that. That you’re not drowning in the light but perhaps shining brighter than the rest.

Kaoru says a few words for the fans and it gets them excited as they shout louder from his words but Rei is a bit distracted from looking at the section of the venue where you’re watching. The venue is hot, yes, but his chest feels warmer at the thought of you watching him and his members perform and it’s an entire different feeling. He thinks this might be the first time he feels like this.

He vaguely remember earlier that morning when you texted him and informed him you would be attending his concert. You met him during lunch, beaming with energy and you offer him a bright grin. “I’m really excited! I’m a bit nervous which is weird since you’re the one performing but I feel excited too!! It’s weird, huh, but my thoughts has been all over the place.”

Rei remembers telling you to calm down in a joking manner and you laugh, the sound still fresh in his mind and you wish him good luck and to have fun during performing. He wants to tell you that he will, that he’ll try his best if not for you and maybe.. The feeling in his chest will finally subdue or continue to build only for you.

Kaoru nudges him when he seems to be in his own head— and he is. “Whoa, there Rei-san. Distracted?” Kaoru questions with a charming smile but his eyes question him with so much confusion. Because Rei is never distracted especially when performing in front of so many.

He laughs sheepishly, cheeks tinting in embarrassment and the crowd is once again enraptured by the cute gesture as they simultaneously question Rei for what’s in his head. He doesn’t really respond, showing the crowd his ever so charming smile and that seems enough to not make anyone inquire about his cause of distraction.

The Live continues without hitch. It feels strange with the amount of happiness that seems to radiate from everyone in the building. The members of UNDEAD are giving their thoughts and thanks to before the closing of the concert. Rei is last as he is the leader and waits for his turn whilst once again finding his gaze directed at where you’re standing.

Rei can’t recall the exact moment his feelings for you began. Maybe it was along the moment he met you all those years ago or maybe it was the moment he first laid his eyes on you but Rei is so sure of his feelings yet so unsure how to convey it all the same. The feeling in his chest is so foreign and beautiful at the same time and Rei can’t help but recount how much songs he’s written about you— for you. He wonders if you’ve ever noticed.

Koga gives him a small shove and Adonis (with his mic off) informs him that it was now his turn to talk. Rei seems a bit surprised, uncharacteristically caught off guard and he laughs a little because of it. “I apologize,” he starts with the beginning of a grin on his face. “To start of… this Live has been an amazing experience. I feel honored to share this moment with everyone.”

He pauses a moment and finds himself unable to think of more words because that was just it. It seems strange for Rei to not be able to say anything, to be rendered speechless but that was exactly how he feels; he feels there just wasn’t enough words to justify what he’s feeling.

“I’m a bit at a lost of words, truthfully speaking. It seems everything has just been too wonderful to be put into words. Although.. I have a confession to make if you will…” The cheers died down a little, the crowd listening intensely to Rei’s words and the raven could hear his heart pounding in his ears.

“There’s someone… very special to me in the crowd. I can’t say who but I hope they know how much they mean to me. I find myself in a trance when I’m with them and though I’m not as good at showing my feelings or putting them into words..” He pauses, feeling as if he’s looking straight into your eyes. “I hope they know my feelings for them are genuine. This is my thanks to for them and this feeling in my chest, I hope I continue to feel them forever. For you and everyone here tonight, thank you.”

The rest passes by with a blur. As if everything had been fast forwarded and Rei finds himself standing in front of you once again and that feeling in his chest is back. You seem embarrassed, cheeks tinted an endearing red and fingers playing with the hem of your shirt. He notices how you avoid his gaze and though he wants tease you about it, Rei can feel himself becoming nervous himself.

“It was a really great concert! Great job on that…” You trail, looking at a streetlamp as if to distract yourself from the nerves. A small smile stretches Rei’s lips as he waits for the walk sign to turn green. The air is cold and the night is silent, as if the concert had never started to begin with. The difference in the atmosphere is a strange one and it’s also a nice feeling because Rei is closer you.

“Thank you.” He says and you bring a little more courage to inquire him. “Rei, about that. I mean your speech. Did you? I mean I might get the wrong idea— you might be meaning someone else and I just. I just..” The defeat in your voice sounds so endearing to Rei.

“I.. No, the person I was referring to was indeed you.” He glances to his side to to see your reaction and is pleased when you seemed surprised and confused at the same time. He answers before you could ask. “What I said had been the truth. It is the truth and you see… It was what you could say a confession.” Rei faces you properly this time and he feels so vulnerable when he looks into your eyes. “If you would, then it would be an honor if you become mine because I feel from the moment we met, I was already yours.”

#a cute concept deserves a cute story #haven't proof read so i apologize for the many erros . whoops #mod chu #fluff #sakuma rei #undead #ensemble stars imagines #enstars imagines #ensemble stars scenerio #enstars scenario

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imagineyourstars · 7 years ago

Note

Can I get a scenario of Rei, Tsukasa and Kaoru get into a really nasty fight with their s/o which causes them to get distant from each other?

wow i’ve been ridiculously busy these last few weeks but ! have some angst !! i absolutely can’t write anything that ends badly though, so they ended up having sweet endings… i hope you still like it !!! - mod mademoiselle

Kaoru :

“Come on, just listen to me !” He was practically pleading at that point, but you wouldn’t have any of it. You were feeling out of yourself. Everything he said just fell on deaf ears, and you were definitely not in a mood to care.

“What more do you even have to say ? Just admit you’re a lying piece of shit, Kaoru !” He flinched at your words, shaking his head, but didn’t dare answer. You looked about ready to blow, and he didn’t want to worsen your mood.

You couldn’t stifle an angry sigh when he just sat on the far off end of the couch, taking his head in his hand. He looked beaten already, but it was far from over. How did it even end up like that… ?

Oh, yeah. That one phone call. And it happened on a date, too. How ironic. Kaoru had gone to place your orders at the counter when his phone rang. You didn’t know the girl on the contact picture, and to be fair you didn’t even know why you picked up. Maybe you just wanted to hurt yourself. Maybe you needed to make that nasty feeling you’d been lied to at the back of your mind shut up once for good. Or maybe… maybe you just knew.

You didn’t say anything. You just let her talk, and quietly hung up after about a minute. Your morbid curiosity was satisfied, now, but at what cost ?

Kaoru immediately sensed something was wrong. He came back with a tray, on which was proudly sitting a huge milkshake with two straws on it. Needless to say, it would sit untouched this evening, because as soon as he met your eyes, he knew. He stole one glance at his phone, a bit closer to you than where he originally left it, and another at your hurt face. He knew.

He took you home without a word, thoughts reeling in his head. But you didn’t know that. You were feeling numb, hurt, betrayed. You only came back to your senses when he tried to justify himself, in the privacy of his room.

You were still seething anger, even now. He stole a furtive glance at you, and didn’t seem to like what he saw. This made you all the more enraged. He knew all the while, and that was how he reacted ? As if it were all your fault ?

Your lips parted without you knowing. You didn’t even know what it was you so badly wanted to say. Maybe insults, cusses, accusations. You wouldn’t need to know, because he interrupted you.

“Listen, we can sort this out. Just calm down, please. I… I don’t like where this is going.” Your eyes narrowed. You were so mad your hands were trembling. Oh, poor baby Kaoru didn’t like that ?

“Do you think I’m happy with this ? Do you think I’m just lashing at you because I like it ?” He seemed to immediately regret his earlier words, but didn’t have the time to cut you off again. “Just dare look at me in the eyes and say this is all my fault !”

“I never said it was your fault”, he curtly said. He looked… resolute, maybe. You couldn’t say you cared. He promptly added, worried you were going to interrupt him : “Just… Come on, let’s calm down. It’s okay. We’re gonna work this out, I know we can.”

“Oh, you think we can work out your cheating ass ?” He rolled his eyes, and that may have been the one thing you found most irritating about him today. And gods, the list was long. “Don’t roll your eyes ! Stop making it seem like I’m overreacting, because you’re the one at fault here !” He started speaking, but you threw a pillow at him. It was nothing like when you were playfully fighting, just a couple days ago. You were just glad it was just a pillow and nothing heavier. He caught it mid-fly but seemed shocked at your sudden reaction.

“Shut up, Kaoru ! I’m sick and tired of your lies ! Have you really been lying to me the whole time ?! How can you even sleep at night knowing you’re doing this to me ?” He threw the pillow on the floor, stifling a curse, but you weren’t done. “You’re just a lying cheat, and I was so fucking stupid for thinking otherwise.”

He snapped. You didn’t know why now of all times, but he sure did. “Just listen to me, for fuck’s sake ! You don’t even know what happened and you’re getting all riled up !”

“Oh, trust me, I know. Stop treating me like I’m stupid. You think I didn’t know a thing, huh ? Back when you’d pretend you had band training or whatever bullshit, you were seeing her, weren’t you ?” That wasn’t a question, not with the way you were looking at him. But he still seized the opportunity.

“Don’t try to make shit up and listen to me ! You don’t know—” Oh, he wouldn’t.

“I know, Kaoru ! You were stinking of perfume ! Do you seriously think I never noticed ?! But I believed in you, and I was stupid !” His eyes widened a moment but he quickly shook his head.

“Come on, babe, that was a different thing ! Just let me explain—”

“Explain what ? ‘I’m sorry babe, I’m just a lying cheat, I really can’t help it, when I see a girl passing by my dick just does all the thinking and I absolutely have to screw her’ ? Because that would explain everything !” His face contorted for a moment, and everything went way too fast. He grabbed the glass you’d forgotten on the coffee table that morning and threw it on the ground, way too close to where you were sitting earlier. Glass shards flew everything, and you reflexively closed your eyes, only to open them again when he shook you by the shoulders. His fingers were tightly gripping your shoulders.

“Shut up, just shut up ! You don’t know a thing, let me fucking explain ! I don’t want this all to just… just end like that, but you won’t listen !” He maybe hoped to stir up a bit of emotion in you, but he didn’t. His eyes met yours, and found them cold and sneering. Only then did he let go of your shoulders. Maybe he felt it was too late.

“Listen to what ? I’m done with this. No, I’m done with you. I’m tired of feeling like shit but letting you do whatever you want with them.” A sudden thought came to mind and you sneered, almost self-deprecatingly. “Hey Kaoru, how many ? How many were there ?”

“Come on, you’re making no sense ! Just sit down, let’s just clear all that up, I need to do a lot of explaining and trust me, I know that ! Sit down— Where are you going ?” You almost faltered, for a moment. He turned to you, eyes pleading and voice wavering. He looked… no, he was on the brink of tears.

But it wasn’t the first time. It wasn’t the first time he’d pull that trick on you. You wouldn’t be fooled again. You grabbed your things, turning your back to him.

“I’m out. Do whatever you want, I don’t care anymore. You don’t even understand you hurt me, Kaoru. I just want this all to end.” He stood up in a blink, running to you. He tried to take your coat off, but you pushed him away.

“No, no, please no ! You’re— You’re just tired. Let’s talk this out tomorrow. Do you want, I don’t know, maybe we can go see a movie or whatever ?” You glared at him, and he impulsively took a few steps back. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, but you tried your best not to look at them. “… You don’t want to ?”

“No shit, Kaoru. I said I’m out, and I’m not kidding. I’m tired of you.”

He didn’t say anything. He just stayed there, arms limp by his side and eyes wide, while you went away. It was infuriating, to think of it. He just…. stood there. Not saying or doing anything. Thinking back of it all, maybe you wanted him to stop you, at that time. But he wordlessly let you slam the door shut, and you left without looking back.

But hey, life had been okay-ish since that day. You talked things out with friends, focused on other more important things, took some time for yourself. And today, you were ready.

You were strolling down streets, Rei’s arm hanging casually around your shoulders. His voice was a constant murmur near your ear, and a pretty delightful one, at that.

“… and I can vouch he is more than ready. If you would just give him a chance, maybe it would work miracles. Trust the power of words, would you ?” He smiled, and you did too.

“Yeah, maybe I should. But if it goes nowhere, I’m out again.” Rei chuckled at your words, gently tapping your shoulder.

“You may do as you please, I just would prefer you listen to him. Then all will be settled, I believe.” Maybe his soothing presence was what you needed. You felt relaxed, as you would be for an outing with friends. Even when you saw him approaching.

He sure dolled himself up : he looked even more handsome than usual. And he was smiling shyly, cheeks reddish and a huge bouquet in his arms. When he saw you smiling back slightly, his shoulders unstiffened a bit.

“Hey, um…” His voice was just a bit shaky, but you pretended not to notice, which he looked glad for. “I think we have lots of talking to do, but first… Sorry. I’m sorry for everything. And also…”

He shot a nervous glance behind you, which prompted you to check for Rei. But he seemed to have disappeared while you weren’t looking, leaving you alone with Kaoru. When you turned back to him, you were faced with the flowers. Your favorites. The smell was delicate and enchanting, and Kaoru’s eyes…

“Also, you know… I love you. I really do. Let me just show you I deserve you. I’m ready to do anything. You won’t ever have to doubt me again, because I’m all yours.”

Your smile got just a tiny bit wider. “Really ?” Your tone wasn’t suspicious, but playful. Like in the good old days.

“Really. I’ve always been, I’ll always be. If you would’ve just listened…” He shook his head, laughing, then gently pressed his forehead to yours. Soft strands of his hair gently tickled your skin.

“Please, let me prove I’m serious about you.” His eyes looked deep into yours, and the corners of his lips slowly curled when you leaned against him. You’d always been so bad at refusing him, after all. But maybe it was for the best.

Tsukasa :

He was staring at his hands, primly resting on the table. The atmosphere felt heavy, and you almost regretted speaking up in the first place.

You expected him to react, but he didn’t. His staring was so intense he might as well pierce a hole through his hand’s skin at any moment. You wondered if you should just change subjects, but you couldn’t find it in you to do it. You needed to speak up. You absolutely had to get it all out.

How every day you felt like you were locked in a gilded cage, how you were afraid you’d fallen out of love, how you just wanted it to stop. Even just for a moment. So you spoke up, voice trembling a little.

“Tsukasa… I’m not saying this to hurt you. It’s just… well, it’s just too much.” You ended up just repeating what you’d said earlier, hoping the message would get across.

He didn’t look like he’d heard you. His eyes were still fixated on his hands. Was he even blinking ?

“Tsukasa—” You tried calling out to him, but then his eyes met yours. They were colder than you thought, and when he spoke, his voice sounded a bit too distant.

“Is something wrong ? You are not usually like that.” He blinked, and that sudden coldness disappeared, replaced with slight worry. Your eyes fell to your now forgotten tea cup, but you couldn’t push it away, for some reason.

“I’m sorry, I just… needed to get it out. It’s nothing,” you hurriedly explained, “don’t pay any mind to it. I’m fine.” Were you going to chicken out again ? Were you going to pretend you were okay, and that you were still in love with him when he’d ask ?

“You are not fine. Just tell me what is wrong. I will do everything in my power to help you get better.” His eyes were inquisitive, worriedly studying every feature of your face, as if to diagnose what exactly troubled you.

But, well, he was what was wrong.

“It’s…” You were about to try and change subjects again, but your phone suddenly buzzed in your pocket. Tsukasa’s eyebrows knitted immediately. There he went again. You suddenly found courage and shakily spoke again. “It’s just, you’re sometimes a bit… possessive ?”

“I am sorry if this troubles you. I really am trying to get better.” You shook your head, looking away. Now you felt bad for addressing this in the first place.

“No, I understand, really. Well, sometimes, it’s a bit too much, but…” You just trailed off, lost in your memories. That one time he had to drag you away from Ritsu because you were just a bit too close to him… You didn’t even know why you disliked it so much. It wasn’t that big a deal… and yet…

It was all the little things. How he’d wordlessly take you away from anyone who took your attention. How he’d sometimes get jealous because of the tiniest things. How he wanted you to only have eyes for him, constantly… how he checked your phone when you were away. It was almost as if…

“Do you not trust me, Tsukasa ?” Your voice faltered just a bit, as you were fighting away the tears. You felt so frustrated. Why wouldn’t he just trust you ? You wanted to love him, you really did, but he was making the whole thing so much harder.

“I am sorry. I do trust you.” He admitted it reluctantly, eyes looking away, and you felt your heart breaking at the sight. You were right. He really didn’t trust you. It would all be so much easier if your mind was just playing tricks on you…

“Why ?” It was all you could say, but when he looked up at you again, your voice died out in your throat.

“I am… I do not want anyone else taking you away.” He looked broken. Desperate, overwhelmed, broken. Was that why he was crying silently at night ?

… Was that your fault ? He kept going, not sensing your inner turmoil.

“I cannot help it. Your name is on everyone’s lips. Everyone is always looking at you, wherever you go. I have tried overlooking it, I really have. But—”

“You could just trust me…” He shook his head, visibly annoyed by your interruption.

“It is not a matter of trust. It’s… It’s because I love you. I want you to be mine. I am sorry if it frightened you.” His hand slowly reached for yours, across the table. He gave you ample time to move it away, and you didn’t. You just let his fingers enclose yours, in a gentle yet tight grip. Smothering and loving at the same time, as usual.

You were wondering what to do when he inched closer. His eyes were looking deep into yours, and the grip of his fingers against yours tightened again.

“I love you. From the bottom of my heart, with all the fibers of my soul. I believe we are meant for each other… do you ?” His gaze were so soft, gently seeking the answer he wanted so badly in your own eyes.

But you kept silent, eyes resolutely down. You wouldn’t lie to him. He kept waiting, his face anxious at first, then outright devastated. You thought you saw a droplet falling from his cheek to his teacup.

“… You don’t ?” He left you one more chance. You could practically hear how loud his heartbeat was.

You didn’t want to lie to him. So you softly shook your head, eyes avoiding his. You didn’t want to see how heartbroken he was.

“I’m sorry, Tsukasa. I need a bit of time to figure things out.” He stared at you, wordless for a moment.

“… Time ?” You only nodded in response. He blinked, and you chose to ignore the tears rolling down his cheeks. “Why would you need time… ? Do you hate me ?” His fingers were trembling against yours, now, and you couldn’t find the courage to let go of his hand.

“No, I don’t hate you… it’s complicated. I need to sort things out.” He stared at you incredulously.

“Do you want to… stop this ?” He looked on the brink. Of what, you didn’t know, but you were about to find out.

“No, not breaking up… I just need time. I have to figure out what I really want, how I feel about you, that kind of things…” You weren’t sure he even heard you. His breath was getting faster and faster, his eyes were blinking rapidly. You were worried he was going to faint when he suddenly crushed your hand in his, probably without meaning to.

“Then you can do it now ! Just tell me what you want and I’ll do it, whatever it is… Please… just don’t leave…” He was crying openly, now. His small, strangled sobs echoed way too loudly in the small dining room, and you were afraid someone from the staff would realize and throw you out of his mansion.

“Tsukasa… I’m so sorry… I need to get away for a little bit.” You couldn’t help but gently stroke the back of his hand with your thumb, like you’d done countless times before. But you didn’t expect him to hiss and push your hand away like you’d burned him.

And when he looked up at you, your heart dropped in your chest. He was mad.

“Then just get out !” He shouted suddenly, making you jump in surprise. You just stared at him in shock, lips trembling.

“Tsukasa—”

“Get out ! Get out of here !” He grabbed his teacup, spilling cold tea everywhere on the tablecloth before throwing it on the wall with a sob. It exploded with a loud bang, and you distinctly heard hurried footsteps in the hallway.

“Tsukasa, calm down ! It’s not… I’m not breaking up ! I just—”

“Get out ! I’m worthless scum anyway !” This time it was a saucer, breaking into countless pieces against the wall. You didn’t even notice you were crying too.

“Don’t… ! Sit down, Tsukasa, it’s not… !” He didn’t listen, pulling on the tablecloth with such force everything went flying. Tea, sugar, the potted flowers he chose for you. The door flew open, panicked staff making their way into the room. They soon got Tsukasa surrounded, but he still screamed and fought, eyes drilled into yours. You were promptly escorted out of the room, and the last thing you saw before they hurriedly closed the door were Tsukasa’s teary eyes.

Even now, you still remember how you had to leave the house in a hurry, and came home crying. You’re not sure if you were right to speak up in the first place, but it did bring you peace. Of course, it took you a little while to recover from this disaster, but time really helped. You managed to sort out your thoughts and figure out how you truly felt. Your friends helped you cheer up too, and you even grew to forget a bit what happened.

So you were a bit surprised when you noticed the fancy envelope in your mailbox. It came from Tsukasa, and you weren’t sure what was inside. Did he write to break up… ? Was he angry at you ? You let the letter sit on your desk for a while, not daring open it. But one day, you just couldn’t stand it anymore and ripped the envelope up.

Tsukasa’s elegant handwriting spread impeccably on the paper, and the first few words immediately caught your attention.

“My love,

First and foremost, I would like to apologize. What I did was unacceptable. I behaved like a spoiled child, and I am utterly ashamed you of all people had to suffer that sight.”

So he wrote to apologize, huh… You couldn’t help but read the rest, anxious as to how he felt towards you now.

“I hope the recent days have treated you well and that you did get the time you wanted to clear out all doubt from your mind. As for me, I have been assailed by thoughts and images of you.

I am still hopelessly in love with you, and I wrote to seek your pardon. I would be humbled if you accepted to discuss this all calmly with me, if you would still have me, of course.

I dearly hope you accept my apologies and my offer.

With my dearest thoughts,

Yours truly, Tsukasa Suou.”

You felt a little smile on your lips, and a huge weight off your mind. Everything was not over. Far from it, there was still hope, and that thought was oh so comforting.

As you were putting the letter away, you let it fall and it fluttered to your feet. You picked it up, only to stop mid-gesture. The other side of the letter was messy and covered in crossed-out sentences. Was it a draft ? It seemed so uncharacteristic of Tsukasa you couldn’t help but look it over curiously.

“Please come back to me.” “I am empty without you.” “I am awfully sorry.” Only one sentence wasn’t crossed out, nor messy. The handwriting was careful, neat, and undeniably full of emotion. Enough so that it echoed loudly within your own mind.

“I love you.”

Rei :

He really was trying his best for you not to notice a thing.

He was all smiles when he escorted you to his car, even opening the door for with a bow. His voice was as smooth and measured as usual, as he was idly chatting with you. But you knew him too well. You noticed how his eyes were darting all over, when he was usually so focused while driving. You noticed how he was just a bit paler than usual. And worse of all, you noticed how he couldn’t quite meet your eyes.

You didn’t know why you indulged him. It would have been easier to confront him directly. To tell him you heard, you knew, you understood. But you decided to play pretend just for a bit.

He was still acting as though everything was normal when he brought you home. He helped you remove your coat, laying small kisses on your shoulders and neck, and you faked a smile. You pretended to be excited when he went to the kitchen to cook up something nice for dinner. But as soon as he turned his back to you, your smile faded off. You were left there, staring at the wall and thinking. The framed photos of you and Rei posing together were staring at you, and it was oh so annoying.

Too soon, Rei was back with two plates. You barely even looked at them when he laid them on the table. You barely even looked at him while he was talking. He was still bravely trying to keep this farce going single-handedly. How dedicated of him, you thought bitterly.

But you were tired. You couldn’t taste the food. You couldn’t hear Rei’s joke of a conversation. You couldn’t see those unnerving framed photos of him and you together.

You were tired.

You dropped your knife. You didn’t mean to, your hands were just trembling that much. Rei’s empty chatting stopped immediately. You still couldn’t look at him in the eye, though. He observed you a moment silently. Maybe he was at a loss for words.

“Is there something wrong, love ? You do not seem well.” The look you sent him startled him.

“No shit.” You were still absent-mindedly prodding at your untouched pasta. Your eyes were resolutely down. You didn’t want to have to look at him.

“Do you wish to talk about it ? I am always here for you.” Rei’s hand gently enveloped yours, his fingers caressing yours. You found the sensation irritating.

“No, you’re not. You don’t want to talk about it. You wouldn’t pretend nothing’s happening if you did.” Rei didn’t answer immediately. He tried not to show it, but you knew. You knew that look on his face. He was confused.

“What are you talking about ?” It was subtle, but his voice sounded more distant than usual. You knew you were right, and this gave you enough courage to keep going.

“Do you want to keep this joke going ? I’d almost think it’s cute. If you didn’t treat me like a dumb kid, that is.” He looked up at you, and you knew instantly he dropped the mask. All of a sudden, he seemed so tired, so beaten. He showed you how crushed he felt for the first time. But maybe it was too late already.

“I did not mean to—” You kept going, ignoring his interjection. It felt too good to finally let it all out. To let him know how you truly felt.

“Did you think I’d never notice ? You know, I work there with you. I know what they said. Just how dumb do you think I am ?” The corners of Rei’s mouth twitched, and he stifled a small sigh.

“I never meant to belittle you. I do not think, nor have I ever thought you are stupid.” You rolled your eyes.

“Then why the hell didn’t you tell me ?” He removed his hand from yours. The gesture was meant to be soft, but there was an edge of coldness to it as well.

“Think about it, will you ? Why wouldn’t I have wanted to discuss this with you ?” Even his voice sounded tired. It was flat and small, unlike his usual rich, smooth tone.

“Oh, come on. I know that already. You wanted to keep this going endlessly.” You sneered, and Rei tried his best to ignore you. You could tell he was thinking as fast as he could. He was probably trying to find a way to get you to agree with him, as he always did.

“You are right. I wish to stay with you as long as I can.” You were about to snap back, but then Rei’s phone vibrated on the table. He rejected the call immediately, but you’d seen it. You knew it was his manager calling him.

“See ? They’re harassing you again. You know, they’re gonna keep at it until you give up and break up with me.” His lips parted to prove you wrong, but he couldn’t find anything to say. So you kept going. “Why did you even try to stay with me ? You knew you couldn’t.”

Rei tiredly rubbed his eyes. He looked much older than usual, and for a moment you wondered just how long he’d been hiding this from you.

“Couldn’t you just stop it before it started ? Maybe you could’ve told me ‘Oh I’m sorry, I can’t date you, my boss won’t let me’ or something. Maybe you could’ve, I don’t know, spared my feelings—”

“It’s not like that.” He cut you off suddenly, surprising you. He dropped his usual theatrics and old man speech too. “Try to put yourself in my shoes at least once. I love you. I’d go to hell anytime if you asked.” You tried to interrupt but he put a hand up in a commanding gesture. The way he stared at you made your voice die out in your throat, anyway. “I don’t want to give you up for my boss. Hell, I don’t give a fuck if I get fired.”

You looked up at him incredulously for a moment. “Are you saying I’m worth more to you than your actual job ?”

“Yes. Yes, that’s what I just said. Do you want me to say it again, perhaps ?” You’d never seen him like that. Was that was he was like when he was really angry… ? You couldn’t find words at first, until realization slowly dawned on you.

“You’re a fucking idiot, Rei.” He didn’t answer, but you didn’t like the way he looked at you. “You’re a big, stupid idiot. How much did you give up for this job ? Isn’t that your dream ?”

“Do you think you can pick how I live my life ? How cute.” He was getting on your nerves now. You hated where this was going.

“Stop believing you’re above everyone ! You’re going to get fired if you keep that up ! Get a fucking clue, Rei ! Would you rather lose me or your damn job ?” Rei was toying with his fork, now. He didn’t look the least bit interested in what you were saying.

“My job. I am not giving up on you. I told you so earlier.” You just looked at him in disbelief, trying to find a way to get him to understand.

He didn’t talk. He just kept toying with his fork, looking deep in thought. You didn’t talk either. You didn’t know what to say to convince him.

Maybe that was all there was to it. Maybe he just couldn’t understand. Maybe there was nothing more for you to do.

You got up without thinking, walking to the entrance. Rei raised an eyebrow. “May I know what you’re doing ?”

“You won’t understand, will you.” That wasn’t a question, and Rei sensed it. He got up in his turn, but he was just a bit too late. You were already putting your coat on and grabbing your bag. Hopefully everything you’d need was in there.

“I asked a question. What are you doing ?” His question stayed unanswered. You opened the door and walked out as fast you could, but he grabbed your arm. He wouldn’t let go, and was much stronger than you, but you still struggled.

“Let me go or I start shouting !” You’d warned him, but he ignored you, trying to drag you back inside.

“Don’t do anything you might regret later. Come back, we need to talk this through calmly.” You still struggled, refusing to come back inside.

“You don’t want to talk this through ! You’re ruining your own career ! Since you won’t understand, I need to—” He reflexively put a hand to your mouth and tried his best to drag you back inside, but you wouldn’t have it. You were pretty sure you’d elbowed him several times while struggling, and you didn’t care.

“Let me go ! I’m gonna shout—” The neighbor’s door opened in a flash, curious heads peeking through. Rei instantly let you go, and you took advantage of it to run.

“Wait !” He called out, but you didn’t stop. You didn’t even turn back, no matter how much he called or what he said. You just hoped he’d understand, in time.

Running away from Rei wasn’t easy. He’d send texts, call you every day, leave letters at your place. You ignored them all, mercilessly. You couldn’t tell him, but you wished he knew just how much it hurt to see he sent you yet another text. You wished he just knew how hard he was making it for you. When it became clear you wouldn’t accept anything from him, he sent friends to check on you. Kaoru especially tried his best to be subtle, but you knew he wasn’t just there to comfort you.

Then the gifts started to come. You were confused the first time a delivery guy came to give you roses. There wasn’t anything written on the card, which made it all the more obvious who it was from. He’d also send chocolates, plushies of your favorite animals, all things you’d love. Even through the distance, and no matter how long you waited, he’d find a way to love you.

At first you wouldn’t back down. You just wanted to help him. You wanted him to be safe, to keep working towards his dream, to be happy. But he didn’t want that. He needed you. Or so you thought, as you put the nth bouquet he sent you in a vase. Truth be told, you needed him too. Life was empty without him, without that feeling it was the two of you against the world.

So you didn’t reject the call when he called you that one evening. His voice was oh so comforting, calming you instantly. Like you were an addict taking a sip of wine after weeks of withdrawal.

“Good evening, love.” That was all he said, but you could almost hear the relief in his voice. He waited for an answer, but you didn’t give him one. You just hoped he wouldn’t hear your weak sniffles.

“I am not too far from your place. Maybe I could…” He paused for a moment. Maybe he needed to gather his words. “… Come talk with you for a bit. Would you be fine with that ?” He was oh so gentle. So considerate of your own feelings. You hurt him, and he was acting like you were the victim here.

You suddenly realized you’d never stopped loving him. You couldn’t stop.

Your silence prompted him to keep going. “I… I need you. I need your warmth, your voice. Can I… ?”

You didn’t answer, not wanting him to know you were crying silently. Instead, you went to open the door. He was standing behind, a small smile on his lips and his phone in hand. You rushed in his arms, almost against your will. His fingers were gently stroking your hair, in a motion as gentle as soothing. His heartbeat was your anchor, his breathing a melody that slowly calmed your frantic sobbing.

You felt like you’d just come to yourself after a long, painful nightmare. And when he smiled at you, you just threw your worries and pain out the window and buried your head in his chest.

“Welcome back, love.” He didn’t need to say more. You didn’t want to hear anything else. You didn’t want to worry about the future.

For tonight, you’d just bask in his love and warmth, and together, you’d try to forget about tomorrow.

#rei sakuma #kaoru hakaze #tsukasa suou #ensemble stars #enstars #scenario #ensemble stars imagine #enstars imagine #imagine #mod mademoiselle

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makur0 · 2 years ago

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thinking abt rinne angst to fluff rn ,,,,, like what would happen after a fight or smthn 🤔

"I'm sorry for yelling."

synopsis — how do they feel after they got into a heated argument with you, and how do they repair it? [various enstars! x gn! reader]

content warnings — sfw, angst to fluff, hurt/comfort

author's note — i think this is the first time where i write for everybody at once (labeled scenarios) so im gonna be working with characters i haven't yet. but MMMM YES ANGST

word count — 529

Realizes his mistake as soon as he calms down. He's vulnerable during the heat of the moment, and because of that weakness he hurts you. He cares for you, he really does, so immediately he goes to you and apologizes and admits that he was in the wrong. So please accept it, because the poor man keeps breaking his heart over your tear-stricken face. Definitely will need some hugs and cuddles and needs you reassuring him that you still love the man.

Chiaki Morisawa, Yuta Aoi, Nagisa Ran, Mao Isara, Hokuto Hidaka, Rei Sakuma, Tsumugi Aoba

Knows what he did was wrong but won't fess up. He has a reputation to protect, even if it means that he has to work with the growing guilt on his shoulders. Because of that he brings down everybody else around him, and you are sent to settle things with him. As soon as you talk to him the dam breaks, and he's on his knees, apologizing for the pain that he has caused you. When in reality, it scared him more...

Ibara Saegusa, Tsukasa Suou, Eichi Tenoushin, Izumi Sena, Shu Itsuki, HiMERU

Acts like nothing went wrong. It's a sort of coping mechanism for him; he just plays it off like nothing happened (this is after you were the one to apologize). But deep down he still regrets what he did to you, and that little part is pushing him to relent and confess. It's going to take quite a while for him to actually say something about it, but for now he won't be worrying about it. For now.

Rinne Amagi, Tori Himemiya, Kohaku Oukawa, Wataru Hibiki, Hinata Aoi

Beats himself up for it. Like the first scenario they know what they did immediately after, but now they're so guilty about it they won't go to you. Believes that it was your breaking point, you don't want him anymore. Won't rest easy unless you go to him and reassure him that you're alright now. He's going to be more careful around you from now on, but will definitely be a bit more clingy.

Ritsu Sakuma, Souma Kanzaki, Yuzuru Fushimi, Keito Hasumi, Makoto Yuuki, Niki Shiina, Tomoya Mashiro, Mika Kagehira, Nazuna Nito, Midori Takamine

Doesn't trust himself around you. The fear in your eyes when he yelled at you will haunt him forevermore. He never, ever wants you to be like that again, so he believes it's best for him to stop talking to you altogether. Of course you try to confront him, and slowly but surely you'll build up his confidence that you truly love him, which you do.

Kuro Kiryu, Adonis Otogari, Madara Mikejima, Kaoru Hakaze, Jun Sazanami, Mayoi Ayase, Hiiro Amagi

Will apologize to you indirectly. Whether they just don't feel right conveying their sorrys verbally or he thinks that expressing their love through actions, it's obvious that they're trying. So you accept it wholeheartedly... everybody has their strengths and weaknesses after all.

Hiyori Tomoe, Leo Tsukinaga, Tetora Nagumo, Aira Shiratori, Natsume Sakasaki, Mitsuru Tenma, Subaru Akehoshi

They don't or rarely yell at you, it's not in their nature :)

Tatsumi Kazehaya, Hajime Shino, Sora Harukawa, Shinobu Sengoku, Arashi Narukami, Kanata Shinkai

#ensemble stars fluff #enstars fluff #ensemble stars angst #enstars angst #ensemble stars x reader #enstars x reader #enstars #ensemble stars #various x reader #hurt/comfort

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altairs-little-world · 2 years ago

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Can i request Rei Sakuma, Leo Tsukinaga, and Izumi Sena (Separate) react to seeing their s/o run to the playground before they could walk past it after their date? I imagine the reader asking rei if he could push them in the swings. Thanks in advance!

Rei, Leo, Izumi - Seeing their S/O run to a playground

Characters: Rei Sakuma, Leo Tsukinaga, Izumi Sena

Genres: Fluff

Small “tags”: Canon Universe, Mentioned dates, playground, comforting, swings, see-saw, playing tag, overthinking a lil’, Rei's old man mentality, everyone is just a big kid at heart, every scenario is a reader of diff personality I- /sobbing/

TW: None!

A/N: REI SAKUMA MY BELOVED orz (my cabbage may be staring daggers at me rn but omigoodness someone requested for the Rei of sunshine thank you)!

Ooo a lot more requests too, I’ll probably be posting and clearing off the short scenarios and HCs first as the others will take a longer time! Sorry to the anons who submitted earlier but will be having their request fulfilled much later - I’m not ignoring them, there’s none that I think should be ignored or dropped yet! Just need some more time to make sure the story’s good enough, please bear with me!

I think I may have gone a little off topic here and there in this one… Head empty only multiple Enstars scenarios that I think too much about- I hope you still enjoy it, though! (You can clearly see my bias toward Rei I think I’m sorry I love this old man)

REI SAKUMA ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

— Naturally, being an idol and a unit leader, Rei had a lot on his plate.

— But that wasn't going to stop him from spending time with you, his beloved! No, sir, when Rei Sakuma sets his mind on something, nothing can get in his way. And in this case, you were that something.

— You were pleasantly surprised with a date at the new dessert shop that opened nearby! The self-proclaimed vampire really knew how to take care of you and your sweet tooth.

— Due to the male's whines about the bright, scorching summer sun, both of you stayed in the cool, air-conditioned shop till the sunlight started to wane, offering a cooler atmosphere to walk home in, which you took.

— He holds your hand loosely, giving you the chance to pull away whenever you wanted, not that you normally would.

— Oh! What do we have there? You perk up when you spot the bright colours of the playground, and even more so at the empty swings swaying slightly in the wind. Swings! Your absolute favourite!

— You just couldn’t resist - you hadn’t been on a swing in so long, you were so deprived of the fun of playing one - and so you tighten your hand around Rei’s, dragging him along. Swings required 2 people to play, after all!

“Help push me? Please?” Oh, how could he not? There wasn’t even any need to act cute, though, in his eyes, you were so naturally adorable that it made everything you did seem cute. He loved you too much to deny anything of you, especially a simple request like this.

“Hold on tight then, sweet thing,” He nips at your earlobe as he speaks, enjoying how your ears turned red at the fleeting action and nickname. The brunette grips the sides of your seat, walking backwards to pull the swing back before letting go, relishing in your little “Wooo!” sounds as you swing forward. “You really enjoy this, don’t you? Perhaps we should come here more often.”

“Because it’s fun!” You said, stretching your legs out as the swing swung forward again, and tucking them in when it went backwards. “Have you never played on one before?”

“Kuku, certainly not. Ah, but I do remember pushing Ritsu on a swing once, when we were much younger,” Rei reminisces, a wistful note in his voice. “The person behind has to be the stronger one, isn’t that right? To be able to push the other forward, to catch them when they fall backwards…”

“Wait, wait,” You slow the swing to a stop with your feet against the playground floor, turning in your seat to meet his ruby-red eyes in a frown. “So you’ve never played on a swing because you’ve been going about some philosophy with how a swing works and you think you always have to be the stronger one?”

“When you say it like that, it doesn’t sound too good, does it?”

“Rei. Rei, my love, my sleepy vampire, my old man, this, a swing, is but a simple child’s play - there’s nothing deep behind it!”

“If you say so, my beloved,” He shrugs, bending over to pull the swing back again. You sigh at how he dismisses your words, releasing your grip on the chains to cup his fair face.

“And you, don’t think you always have to be strong. No one can be strong all the time, yeah?” Rei hums in agreement, or in satisfaction of having his face warmed by your hands, you didn’t know. “Rely on me too, alright? Love isn’t all about giving, giving, and giving.”

“I didn’t exactly mean that - you know how this old man talks.”

“Still, my statement stands.”

You stare at him stubbornly, refusing to release his head from your hands, until he gives a small laugh. Pale hands reach up and hold your hands, pulling them away from his face a little to press kisses onto your palm, smiling against the skin.

“... Thank you, my love.” Short, simple words, but it was more than enough to convey his feelings. “So, I assume you’ll be the one pushing me after you’ve had your fun on the swing?”

“Hm hm! If you want me to!” You lean forward to bump foreheads with him, smiling. Rei releases your hands after one last kiss, allowing you to hold onto the chains of the swing once again. “So stop being a moody old man and let’s continue playing!”

“Of course.”

He starts pushing you on the swing in a languid, rhythmic manner, your laughs and his chuckles filling the air in a joyful melody.

“Haha… Even this old man feels young when he’s with you~”

LEO TSUKINAGA ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

— With you two being morning people and somehow sharing a single braincell, you had both suggested meeting up at the nearby park for a morning stroll at the same time, laughing at the unanimous decision made between the both of you.

— To spend the first few hours of this pleasant day in each other's company was like a dream, your boyfriend humming little tunes in the late dawn of winter, tiny fangs showing when his signature smile adorns his face, dragging you closer to him.

— Leo's arm finds its place, draped over your shoulder to keep you right there, right next to him. You, obviously, had nothing against that. He was warm, and you loved him - there was no reason to escape from his grasp.

— Except maybe one. Your eyes lit up when you saw a playground, conveniently devoid of children since they were all at school at this hour. Twisting your neck to look up at your boyfriend, you stare at him, wide-eyed, while he meets your gaze with a curious smile.

— That was the only warning he got before you were gone from his side. He certainly wasn't expecting you to suddenly dash over the playground climber and nimbly climb up onto it. But he wasn't complaining! With someone like you by his side, his world was never devoid of surprises or happy laughter - the latter was now prompting Leo to run over and see just what you were up to.

“Haha! I claim this castle!” You proclaimed, waving your arms around at the structure you were on, leaning over the railings a little to look down at your boyfriend proudly. He only returns the smile, arms akimbo as he starts playing along with the little drama game that you initiated every so often.

“If that is your castle, my monarch, then as your knight, I naturally have access to it!”

“Uh oh - Then, out of here, I shall go!” Leo’s shoes made little “thunk” noises when he climbed up onto the playground climber, while you made your quick escape down a small slide that you couldn’t really slide that well on. It wasn’t meant for rowdy teenagers like the both of you, after all, but was that going to stop you two? No!

Your boyfriend made it down the slide with much difficulty too, immediately springing to his feet to chase you around in circles, snow crunching under your feet as you called out mocking comments.

Realizing this was going nowhere, with you expertly outrunning him all the time, Leo had a change of tactics. The sound of footsteps behind you slowed to a stop, followed by his bright voice. "Hey! Hey, look here, look what I found~!"

Turning around, you see the orange-haired male crouched as if he was about to pounce, emerald eyes glinting with mischievousness.

A small scream rings through the air as he tackles you into the snow, your voice accompanying him in laughter as Leo encases you in a tight hug and rolls all over the cold ground, leaving a trail of flattened snow. Thank goodness the two of you were wrapped up in heavy winter coats, or you’d be freezing by now!

Though, being with Leo, your music-loving ray of sunshine, you didn’t think you could ever feel cold. Even with your current position, lying on your side in the snow, you could feel his warmth from the arms around you and his breath mingling with yours as you both giggle from the activity.

“Tah-dah, I've found the light of my life!” He boasts, squeezing you into an even tighter hug and snuggling his face into the crook of your neck.

“Noooo! Let me go!” You wail in mock protest, struggling against his strong grip. Boy, for a baby-faced composer who hardly worked out other than idol practice, he was freakishly strong when it came to hugs.

“No can do! I- Gah??!” Anyway, a small surprise attack on his stomach with your fingers was all you needed to get the ticklish man to loosen his hold on you, hands pulling back to push your hands away. “Ha- Stop- Haha-!”

“And I’m free, once again!” Your jubilant theatrics continued, rolling away before getting up and dashing to the other end of the playground as Leo let out weak laughs, recovering from your “brutal” attack. He rolls onto his back and flops his arms on either side, chest heaving up and down as he tries to catch his breath. “Hey hey, not coming to catch your runaway monarch anymore, my knight~?”

The boy sits up at your provocation, jumping up to his feet with an energized grin yet again, chasing after your light as he always had.

“Run all you want, your majesty! Your knight will always be with you, one step behind!”

IZUMI SENA ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

— Izumi, being the high-standard romantic that he is, arranges for a candlelight dinner at a fancy restaurant downtown, of all things.

— As expected, you only stepped out of the restaurant - with your boyfriend linked to you by your hands - when the sky was pitch-black, with yellowish lights from lamposts and cars illuminating the roads.

— Wanting to spend more time with him, you suggested walking home together! Your knight amicably agrees with his charming smile, squeezing your hand in a small show of affection.

— Both of you share a conversation, chatting about what each of you had been doing in the time you’d been away from each other, resting your head on the other’s shoulder as you two strolled through the dimly lit streets.

— And then! Watching a deserted playground come into view, you were struck with one of your “silly thoughts” - as Izumi called them - shaking the male’s hand off to run over, knowing that he would follow your steps without questioning you. In the beginning, at least.

“What are you doing?” The question comes out as he catches up to you, with no bite behind his voice but instead genuine confusion. He was a little more used to how you acted on your whims by now, but still-!

“See-saw!” You stepped aside and flourished your hand at the fixture in the playground that had caught your eye. It was a favourite game of yours, the feeling of bouncing up and down into the air while someone else on the opposite side similarly went up and down in tandem with you, alternating between who was in the air and who had their feet on the ground. A game perfect for two!

His eyebrows creased, eyelids fluttering at you as he blinked. “And…?”

“Let’s play, let’s play!”

“In these??” Izumi waved down at the clothes you were both decked out in. Formal, elegant, and restricting. Entirely unsuited for playing like kids, as you’d suggested. “There is no way-”

You place a finger to his mouth, shushing the silver-haired male and earning a comical glare from him.

“Don’t frown so much, you’ll get wrinkles on your face!” A laugh escapes from you, your hand finding his again to drag him to the awaiting see-saw. “Here you go,” You sat him down on one end of the seesaw, patting his shoulders in satisfaction before running over to the other side to sit down.

“How does this work, anyway?” Izumi questions, folding his arms as you hike your leg over the seesaw, holding the handlebar but not sitting down just yet.

“You’ll see!”

“What do y- Ahh?!” He lets out a surprised and utterly undignified screech when you plop down on your side of the see-saw, pushing your weight down on the fixture and lifting his side into the air. The male scrambles to hold onto the handlebar like you were doing, looking down at you angrily. “Give me some warning before you do that, ugh!”

“Aha, sorry…” You said sheepishly, looking down almost immediately after you barely glimpsed his glaring pale blue eyes, ashamed. Why did you do that? Because you thought it’d be funny to scare him? You bit at your lip worriedly, hunching your shoulders. Maybe it would be best to get off this silly see-saw and head home instead of wasting any more time here… “Ah-?”

The ground suddenly moved away from you - no, you were moving away from the ground, the board beneath you lifting up. You looked up at the other side of the see-saw, where your boyfriend was, seeing him leaning back to apply more weight to hold you up while he watched you with concern.

Your eyes met, and Izumi’s gaze hurriedly shifted to a nonchalant one, looking as though he wasn’t worried about your reaction just a second ago. “You wanted to play, didn’t you? Get on with it already then, it’s getting late.”

A smile returns to your face. Truly, no matter how harsh or cold your lover was, underneath all those layers and facades held a warm and gentle love for you.

“Mhm!” You hum in response, and the creaks of the see-saw filled the air, a rhythmic harmony to the melody of your joyful giggles and his fond huffs.

“You’re really childish, you know?... Whatever, as long as you're happy.”

#enstars x reader #ensemble stars x reader #rei sakuma x reader #leo tsukinaga x reader #izumi sena x reader #rei sakuma #leo tsukinaga #izumi sena #ensemble stars

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