#i want to put shanes coop with the rest of the coops :(

[buglaur]

the very rough plan for my ranch so far 🫡

[farmerstarter]

The Bachelors and How They Sleep

hello lovelies! Have some more of my headcanons. These HCs are for a gn! reader. If you have any requests then feel free to send me an ask! Reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated 🌷🤍

Alex:

🏈 Moves a lot during his sleep. But he doesn't outright punch you by accident. You always seem to end up being under him.

🏈 Mumbles a lot too. One time, you woke up to him counting to himself, just like how he counts his bicep curls.

🏈 Wakes up early, just a few moments before you. He says it's because he needs to exercise the first thing in the morning. But it's actually because he felt you move out of the bed and he doesn't like to be alone.

🏈 Gives you all the pillows to make you comfortable. He says it's important for your muscles to get a good night's rest. He ends up hogging the blankets.

Elliott:

🪶 Sleeps like a dead man. He doesn't move at all, save for the occasional turning to the side to snuggle against you.

🪶 It takes him a while to finally succumb to slumber. He says it's because he's used to listening to the waves of the beach to fall asleep.

🪶 Silk pajamas, the man has sets of them. He keeps his hair down while sleeping so you sometimes wake up to your whole face being covered by his locks.

🪶 He's a late riser, mostly because he sleeps late too. He tells you that he writes better at night and he doesn't allow himself to rest until he's finished writing one chapter at least.

Harvey:

🛩️ Sometimes, Harvey forgets to take off his glasses before he goes to bed. Which is why he has so many broken ones that he tries to hide from you by kicking them under the bed.

🛩️ Professional cuddler. He always makes sure you're in his arms or vice versa. He needs to touch you in order to get a good night's rest. Doesn't matter if you two are spooning or if it's just his hand on top of your arm.

🛩️ Snores a lot. Goes "hoooonk mimimimimi hoooonk mimimimi"

🛩️ I like to imagine him wearing those pajamas that's like just a long night gown and those floppy pointy hats. You know the one.

Sam:

🎸 Alex mumbles in his sleep, Sam straight up sings. Usually it's outbursts of the choruses of his songs, sometimes he'd hum the tune out. You have a video of him playing air drums while sleeping. You sent the video to Abigail and Sebastian, and they never let Sam hear the end of it.

🎸 He wakes up super late most of the time. But on the rare occasion where he doesn't, he cooks breakfast and serves it to you in bed. Complete with a flower in a vase and everything.

🎸 Always kisses you before he falls asleep. Straight up drags you to his side of the bed to peck your lips.

🎸 Would take off his shirt to put it on you. He says he doesn't want you getting cold at night and waves you off when you refuse, worried about his wellbeing. "I don'T gEt sicK eaSiLy, Babe," ends up in the clinic to get meds the next day.

Sebastian:

👾 It's my headcanons and I say he moves a LOT during his sleep. So much so that you end up on the floor when you wake up. He refuses to believe that he does that.

👾 His sleep schedule depends on you. He refuses to sleep unless you're already in the house. He doesn't like the feeling of sleeping when he doesn't know you're safe. You'll find him waiting for you on the porch.

👾 Prefers to sleep on the side of the bed where the sun doesn't shine.

👾 Immediately feels it when you get out of the bed. And he wakes up immediately, groggy and needing a few minutes to register where he is. Even if you're just going to get a glass of water, Sebastian would wake up and ask where you're going.

Shane:

🐣 This man says good night to all the chickens in your coop before he goes to bed, I decided.

🐣 He used to get little to no hours of sleep but after moving in with you, he tries to get enough sleep as possible.

🐣 Hugs you in his sleep, all the time.

🐣 He wakes up the same moment you do, sometimes earlier. He gave himself the job to take care of your farm animals so you don't have to work too hard. So he wakes early to get the job done as soon as possible to spend breakfast with you.

🐣 My brother in Yoba, he would wake up in the middle of the night to get a snack. You would sometimes catch him in the middle of drinking cows milk straight out of the bottle in front of the open fridge.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

pleeeeaaaasee do more shane x reader (preferably gender neutral). Your writing is so good and the "After everything we've been through, you still don't think that I love you?" one broke me. You're a hurt/comfort master

HAH you've given me another idea from this ask alone (insp by my farmer getting alex's 8 heart event while married to shane)

Sorry gang I swear fluffier stuff with Shane is coming

.....

It was just a few days into summer, and Shane already had plans to change up his usual routine once again.

Ever since moving onto your farmland, he found himself getting more motivated to take longer walks. This morning, he planned on doing so after ensuring the crops were watered and the animals were well-fed.

He greeted the cows, rabbit, pigs, and chickens as they filed out of the coop and barn one-by-one, not letting any of them miss their daily pets. Seeing the ostrich and little green dinosaur emerge didn't faze him as much as it did the first time he saw them--he still had no clue how you acquired their eggs (especially one from the skull caverns), but you didn't treat them any differently.

They were both lovable creatures. Just like the blue chickens he introduced you to several months ago.

Knowing you raised some and kept them on the farm made him beam with pride, glad he got to stay here and help run things in your steed.

He wouldn't trade it for the world.

You set off for the beach earlier than usual today, having left a note on the table, and Shane opted to just hang back and repair some of the fences that were looking a bit worn out.

According to the TV, it was a "good luck day", and you hoped to find fortune in the form of a rainbow shell washed up on the coast. You certainly loved foraging them, but even if there weren't any around, you figured you'd go fishing.

Your husband wasn't the best at either skill, although a few hours after you left, he felt a little bored and decided to go visit the beach. Maybe you could use his moral support since other people--mainly Willy and Elliot-mentioned hearing you curse like a sailor when you were wrestling with a fish...or when said fish escaped your line.

He could be there to cheer you up, or teasingly bet on how many joja cola cans you'll fish out of the ocean.

That would be pretty funny, he thought.

So he headed off on his usual walking route, but instead of going to Cindersap Forest or stopping by Pelican Town's river, he ventured towards the beach, greeting whoever said "hello" to him.

Upon arrival, however, Shane stopped in his tracks as he noticed you weren't entirely alone on the beach.

It wasn't Willy, Elliot, Leah, nor that parrot kid you rescued from Ginger Island, but Alex.

He wouldn't have minded that so much....if not for the fact that you two were sitting awfully close together on the coast, overlooking the foamy waves. You were totally oblivious to his presence, so he hung back with suspicion.

Of course, he knew you were growing more sociable with the rest of the villagers, and he didn't want your marriage to be the reason you stopped talking to people.

Even so..something didn't feel right about this, especially as he watched you move closer to Alex, putting an arm around him. And when the younger male put his head on your shoulder, Shane's heart dropped.

You were talking, but obviously he couldn't make out what you were saying thanks to the noisy waves and annoying seagulls.

At this point, however, it became clear what was going on.

And it made him feel utterly sick to his stomach, his mind constantly circling back to one conclusion. Only one explanation as to why you'd ever be that close to Alex, and perhaps why you've been frequently leaving the farm earlier than normal:

You were seeing him behind his back, thinking he'd never find out.

He didn't know how else to interpret that. How else could he?

But of everybody in this town, why did it have to be the guy who reminded him of his youthful days in gridball?

The guy who radiated positivity and was always in high spirits?

The guy who wasn't old and weak and depressed...like him?

'I knew it..they finally got bored of me. But why would they do this?' Scowling, he felt like storming over and saying something, but he couldn't will himself to freak out here and now.

No.

Why bother?

Instead he decided to turn on his heel and storm back to the farm, nearly tripping over a rainbow shell as he did so. The saloon was closed, so he couldn't escape there...but he'll settle for rotting in bed until you come home.

You'll be back, and he'll confront you then.

.......

Coming back to the farmland around noon, you frowned a bit as you didn't see Shane anywhere outside. He wasn't at the mini coop like he normally was, and poor Charlie was looking for him.

"Where did he go, Charles? Hm?" With a soft coo, you kneeled down to pet the chicken. She clucked, her beak pointing towards the cabin, and you thanked her with a small handful of corn before continuing inside.

However, as soon as you stepped into a rather quiet house, all the excitement sapped out of you. You'd normally hear him playing video games or watching a Tunneler's game, but as you entered your shared bedroom...you found him just laying down, his back turned to you.

"Hey, honey." You sighed, relieved as you sat down on the mattress. "All that farmwork got tiring, huh? I understand. Thank you for doing it."

"........."

"..Shane? You still asleep?"

There was a long silence, only for it to be broken by a quiet sniffle, and your heart sunk, wondering what happened. "Hey, what's wrong-?"

As you put a hand on his shoulder, Shane flinched and rolled over to face you, his eyes red and watery, and his expression full of disgust...as though you did something wrong.

You've never seen him get this angry at you. Not since your first meeting with him. "Baby-?"

"No. Enough petnames, [y/n]." He huffed, sitting up and staring at you with contempt. "You don't get to act like everything's fine. Like I don't know what's really going on."

"...what?"

"Why were you with Alex today? Did he convince you I wasn't good enough for you anymore? That I'm past my prime?"

You blinked in bewilderment, wondering how on earth he knew that and why he was getting so upset. "Wha..you were at the beach? Why didn't you tell me?"

"That's..not important." He grumbled. "If you love him more, fine. Just tell me. I was ready for the day you'd finally get sick of me. But..to do that behind my back...I just..." Fresh tears brimmed his eyes as he clutched the mermaid pendant with a shaky hand. "I thought you were different..but I was wrong."

Now you were totally lost, heart racing as you tried to wrack your brain for any reason he'd assume that you were cheating on him with Alex. You knew he had some major jealousy issues, and he's been actively working through them with his therapist, but it was never this bad.

"Listen, I promise that what you saw isn't what it-"

"You don't have to lie. I get it. He's young, better looking...he's everything I used to be. So why don't I just go and you can have him live on this farm with you? At least he won't be a burden. At least he won't-"

"Shane just stop. Stop." You raised your voice, growing infuriated. "What in the hell made you think I wanna be with Alex when we're married?! When I've been nothing but there for you since I moved to town?! If you let me finish, I'll explain everyth-"

"Oh I'm sure you have a "perfect" explanation already lined up." He rolled his eyes. "Unless you can tell me why you were that close to him, I don't see why I'm even-"

"Today's the anniversary of his mom's death."

Shane blinked once.

Then twice.

Then three times.

"Wha..?"

"She passed away 12 years ago." Frowning slightly, you watched his expression shift wildly. "Alex was sitting there, crying his eyes out, and I just...wanted to comfort him. Like any friend would do. That's all."

At this moment, Shane felt like the biggest piece of shit in the valley, and his shoulders sagged. He didn't know what to say.

"We just hugged, and he told me about the good memories they had," you continued, moving closer to put a hand over his own. "Cross my heart, absolutely nothing was going on between us, honey. You really think I'd do that to you? To the man I love?"

"....I....I didn't know he lost his mom.." He mumbled, still at a loss for words.

"Well it's not exactly something he'd share with the whole town. And I was gonna keep it between us, but you wouldn't let me explain myself." You reminded him with a small huff, and he looked down in guilt.

As quickly as your anger rose, however, it was quick to disappear as you watched him. He seemed very torn up and ashamed for accusing you of cheating, but you could understand his perspective and why he saw it in that light.

You would've been suspicious, too.

"Look..I know it did look like something else was going on. And I'm really sorry-"

"No, no..I should be sorry for acting like a total dickhead." Shane gazed back up at you, and his face tore your heart to shreds. "I didn't mean to freak and accuse you of anything. You were just comforting a kid who lost his mom and...I got angry for no reason. Without hearing your side. I shouldn't be like this..yet I feel like some bitter old man.."

"Hey, you're not old." You shook your head, cupping both sides of his cheeks and giving him a gentle kiss. "You're barely 30."

"Still..my body feels that way." He lightly chuckled, enveloping you in a tight hug. "And again, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, [y/n]...I promise I'm working on these stupid jealousy issues."

"I know you are, and I forgive you." Smiling, you squeezed him tight. "We're gonna be okay."

"Mhm..also..um..I found something for you." He let you go and dug into his jacket pocket for an unknown item, and when he presented it to you, the grin on your face was infectious.

"Oh my god..you found one for me?!!" Your eyes lit up, as you now held a beautiful rainbow shell in your hands.

Shane nodded. "Iridium quality."

"You're the best. I love you." Laughing, you brought him back into a hug, giving him a few more kisses. "And you said you sucked at foraging, huh?"

"Ah, well..just the "chopping trees" part. Picking stuff off the ground is easy." He shrugged, his smile bashful. "Glad you like it, sweetheart. Take it as my apology for that..um..misunderstanding."

"I forgive you a thousand times over. Now..I think I'll display this beauty in our aquarium. What do you think, Shane?"

"I think I'll go with and see."

You both hopped out of bed and headed over to where you kept the aquarium tanks, with Shane in better spirits than he was before.

He still felt guilty for acting that way towards you, but your everlasting patience and persistence with him prevails.

He's glad he picked up that rainbow shell for you.

[duchessonfire]

Savior Carl!AU re-read Part 2 Chapter 2

Follow-up of my re-read of Part 2 Chapter 1. If you're not interested and don't want to have your dashboard spammed, you can block the tags Duchess reads and Savior Carl AU reread.

Commentary for Part 2, Ch 2 below the cut (spoilers for part 2 ahead):

“Ya know… I thought Sherry and Shane flyin’ the coop might spread some bad ideas around. Here I was, getting ready to pluck them out one by one...” He slowly swings Lucille back and forth, a deadly pendulum. “But maybe a lil’ reshufflin’ of the ladder will do us all some good. I’ve got two prime spots that just opened – favorite wife and favorite soldier – and I can’t wait to see who’ll get a promotion.”

Many people in the comments said that Carl was going to fit both roles and THIS IS 100% RIGHT. And you know what? Even if Negan isn't fully aware of it, he's already handed both jobs to Carl. This entire chapter is about Negan giving Carl a preferential treatment over everybody else.

The first instance of this is when Negan wants Carl to stay behind at Sanctuary while he drives baby Lori back to Alexandria:

“I can handle it,” he grits out, tightening his hold on Lori, who hugs him tighter back. Carl can never tell how much she understands about the events happening around her, but he would bet it’s more than they all think. “No, you can’t, and that’s final. Now, let go of the girl.” Eduardo tries to take her again, but Carl steps out of his reach. It’s the first time he has held baby Lori in months, since Shane made him leave Alexandria to join Sanctuary. He can’t let her go now. And he’ll be damned if he gives her to the Saviors, of all people. “The boss gave you an order, kid,” Simon warns, with DJ and Richie looking menacing at his back. It triggers Carl’s fight or flight response but he remembers that Gary took his knife before he was thrown in Rosita’s cell earlier in the day. He’s unarmed, and he needs both hands to hold Lori. Before Carl’s mind can tailspin into panic, Negan raises a hand, making Simon and the rest grind to a halt.  He doesn’t look angry, but somehow, his understanding tone sounds like a warning: “Carl, you’ve had a rough day and I get that. Trust me, I do. So I’m going to do you the courtesy of asking nicely one last time. If you make me ask again, I won’t be so nice. Let go of the girl.”

Negan doesn't often need to repeat to himself and, when he does, he isn't usually nice about it. But he knows what Carl has gone through today so he makes it clear to Carl that he's doing him a favor by being patient while at the same time warning him that this patience is wearing thin.

This scene was actually supposed to end with Lori screaming bloody murder when she's separated from Carl but I ended up putting this off for part 3 and Carl's visit to Alexandria there. I thought that if Lori started crying, nothing could have stopped Carl from staying with her, not even Negan.

Second count of Negan giving Carl preferential treatment (and one of my absolute fave scenes in part 2):

All he needs is a peek behind the door to check if Dwight is in there, spilling all of Carl’s secrets. He listens intently for long seconds, but he can't figure out who is in there with Negan. So he does something they all know is forbidden. He knocks again. Behind him, Keno hisses, “Are you fuckin’ insane?” Before Carl can answer, the door flies open, revealing Negan’s bare chest above his unzipped pants, the line of a navy-blue underwear just visible. He’s thin, much thinner than he appears when clad in his leather jacket and showman persona. There are blotches of ink like gray and black constellations across his torso, with the biggest one on his left pectoral, right above his flat nipple. Carl’s already seen most of his tattoos from when Negan lounges in his room in thin t-shirts. He’s familiar with the skulls and stars and crosses and bleeding hearts dotted across his arms, but he’s never seen the ones on his torso before, barely concealed by the wisps of black and gray hairs on Negan’s chest, right above the wiry lines of his stomach. Carl’s eyes jump to his face, feeling very much like a voyeur, and his heart skips a beat when he sees Negan’s snarling expression, his gray eyes narrowed and filled with fury. Then, like a storm that breaks suddenly, he relaxes, the muscles in his surprisingly bony shoulders unclenching. “Oh, it’s you. I was wondering who was stupid enough to bother me when I explicitly told them not to.”

This is such a horny scene and I absolutely loved writing it. I had kept part 1 very PG and non-shippy so it was a delight to finally delve into the sexual aspect of Carl and Negan's relationship in part 2. I looked up several pictures of shirtless JDM as inspiration and let's just say I had to fan myself a few times while writing this.

Horny thoughts aside, one of my fave things about this is how Carl is breaking what everyone knows is the cardinal rule of Sanctuary (never disturb Negan when he wants to be left alone) and yet Negan gives him a full pass, no question asked. Anyone else would have gotten punished for this, but the second Negan spots Carl, he forgets that he was even angry in the first place.

Third instance of Carl being a teacher's pet:

He immediately averts his eye but he can’t find a safe place to look at. Everything seems dangerously intimate, from the wine glasses on the table – one of them rimmed with lipstick marks – to the carpet on which both Negan and Frankie are standing barefoot, to the armchairs where Negan’s jacket and t-shirt have been thrown in a pile next to Lucille. Tentatively, he steals a peek at Negan and immediately regrets it when he catches his amused smile, like Carl’s discomfort is the funniest thing he’s ever seen. Still, Carl was raised right, so he mutters, cheeks aflame, “Sorry.” Negan must be in a good mood because he doesn’t tease him, just shrugs, “Nah, don’t worry, kid. I’ve always got time for you. Plus, Frankie and I were just about done in here.” He turns toward her and she plasters a smile on her face right on cue. “Babe, give me an hour and then send Athena down. She also had some private business she needed to talk to me about.” It’s visibly not what Frankie expected to hear and her brow furrows for a second before she puts her congenial mask back on. “Sure thing. Good night.” “Night, darlin’.” When she’s grabbed her heels and closed the door behind her, Negan's smile turns vicious. “It’s cute to see them all trying to butter me up and become the new Sherry.”

While the wives all have to request audiences with Negan and basically get thrown out of the room like a revolving door once they're done, Carl can just show up out of the blue and Negan will give him his full attention, no question asked.

Fourth and final evidence of Negan's favoritism:

He downs the rest of his wine and pours himself some more. “Want some?” It takes a second for Carl to get his bearing, feeling raw and on edge from being in Negan’s room after what obviously just happened in there, the air still heavy with sweat and a smell he can’t describe. He answers after an awkward delay: “No, thank you.” “So polite,” Negan grins. “That can only mean one thing. It’s Carl’s time to ask for something!” He sighs exaggeratedly and throws himself on the couch, legs splayed wide and still too undressed for Carl’s liking. “Go ahead, kid, let me hear it. What does little Carl Walsh want this time?”

It's worth noting that Negan isn't annoyed or tired of Carl coming to his room to ask for a favor. Instead, Negan is reveling in it. To me, Negan will always be a provider at his core. A friend of mine was saying just today that Negan's love language is gifts and that's so very true. This Negan, especially, is never happier than when he can show Carl all that his empire can provide. Negan craves Carl's gratitude and so he craves any opportunity to show off everything he can do for Carl.

That's four counts of Negan giving Carl preferential treatment in one single chapter, and a short one at that. I think that might be a new record.

This scene in Negan's bedroom is not just my favorite because it's horny, but also because it features the first ever skin-on-skin contact between Carl and Negan (and of course it features Carl's eye scar):

He is silent for a few seconds, staring pensively at a point above Carl’s head. All the while, his hand is as hot as a brand on the nape of Carl’s neck. “Here is the thing, kid. I know you’re loyal to your old group. And that’s fine because when it comes to the big stuff, like Shane, or this,” and Carl’s heart skips a beat when Negan’s thumb caresses his cheek just below his mangled eye socket, “I know I can count on you to be loyal to me. So it doesn’t matter if you fight me on the small stuff. I don’t care that you hid hillbilly Einstein from me, not today. Because, today, you proved your loyalty to me. So consider this Christmas and your birthday all rolled into one. You’re king for a day, Carl. You can do anything, ask me anything, and I’ll get it for you. Because you’ve earned it.” Negan’s gray eyes keep Carl locked in a spell for a long, tense moment, before he finally removes his hand from Carl’s neck and turns around to pour himself more wine.

This is such a tender moment for Negan, and it's happening on the same night as the hug and panic attack in Carl's room. The night Carl killed Shane was a big moment for Cegan. Nothing says romance like killing your toxic stepfather on the orders of your toxic crush.

Finally, though I won't quote the entire thing here, the flashback of Carl confessing to Shane that he was responsible for Dale's death at the farm is very, very important to me. It's the inception of so many things that will go wrong later. This is really the first secret that Shane and Carl kept from the rest of the group, and of course it's only the first in a long line that will follow: Shane killing Karen and David at the prison, Shane lying to Maggie about seeing Hershel, Beth and Carol get eaten by walkers, Shane pushing Tyreese into a group of walkers so he'll be eaten alive. Carl was complicit in all of those atrocities and he never said anything to anyone because Shane taught him at an early age that they needed to keep secrets from the rest of the group. That as long as it stayed between them, they wouldn't have to face any consequence for their crimes and could just pretend that nothing happened. It's an early manipulation tactic and another way Shane gets his claws into Carl and preps him to be served to Negan on a silver platter.

Conclusion; tldr: Carl is Negan's favorite boy in the whole wide world and if Carl had taken him up on his offer to have a glass of wine, Negan would have probably gotten him drunk and then tumbled him into the still-warm sheets where he just fucked Frankie. And you know what? Carl would have let him. Carl would have let him do anything. Because now that Shane is gone, Negan is Carl's North Star.

You can find the commentary for part 2 chapter 3 here.

[hailtothepumpkinqueen]

(Wanted to write something based on Shane's 2 heart event, hence the cheesy ass title lmao

So warnings for alcohol, talks about depression, brief mention of a suicidal thought by Farmer.

EDIT: Now with Shane's POV)

Heart 2 Heart(s)❤❤

Her first summer in Pelican Town had been...rough, to put it lightly.

Whole fields of crops that had been growing just fine withering seemingly overnight. Weeds overtaking huge swaths of land to a mindboggling degree. And, in her haste to clear out dead plants, the chicks she had bought from Marnie (lovingly named Camilla and Henrietta) had accidentally gone neglected to the point of near starvation in their coop. They recovered of course, but she still hadn't forgiven herself for it. Not to mention how many requests going unanswered because she still couldn't get the hang of fishing, no matter how hard she tried. No doubt disappointing everyone along with herself.

Spring had been so full of promise, full of hope that she could do this whole farming thing and thrive on her own terms for once. But all these stupid mistakes, these failures, compounded with near constant exhaustion and pain for what felt like very little gain was proving to be almost too much to bear.

One warm night, when she couldn't stand to look at the farm because even the old house seemed disappointed in her, she went for a walk. Ending up at the lake in the woods not too far from Marnie's place. It was quiet, fireflies lazily dancing across the water and unseen crickets chirping adding to the sense of calm. The perfect place to have a little cry in peace before collapsing in bed for the night.

Empty beer cans scattered along the dock indicated that Shane had had a similar idea some time earlier, but, thankfully, he wasn't anywhere to be seen now. It was pretty late, and the house behind her looked dark. Hopefully that meant everyone inside was asleep and wouldn't catch her there. She didn't think she had the energy to fake a smile right now, and Yoba knows she couldn't handle Shane's seemingly permanent scowl boring holes into her forehead.

She sat her tired, sore body down with a groan, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her chin on her knees. Tears almost immediately welling up as all the negative thoughts she had tried to bury washed over her in waves. Quickly turning into sobs she tried to muffle by burying her face in her arms.

What the hell was she even doing? Did she really think she would be good at this, at anything? Idiot. Leaving a perfectly good job for uncertainty just because she couldn't handle a little stress? Weak. She could barely take care of herself, it was stupid to think she could take care of anyone or anything else. Silly little girl playing pretend and throwing a tantrum when it doesn't go her way. Maybe her mother was right...

"Miller?" A voice cut through the quiet and practically made her jump out of her skin. Knocking cans into the water as she scrambled to her feet to face the owner of the voice. Fuck. Of course it was him.

"Shane!" She gasped, quickly wiping at her eyes and trying to force a smile. He was standing just a foot behind her, scowl surprisingly absent and a six pack of what she assumed was beer in one hand. He looked almost...concerned? But she could be imagining it.

"H-hey! Sorry, were you still sitting here? I can...I can go. Sorry."

"You're already here, might as well stay." He sighed, waving a dismissive hand to her anxious apologies. "Sit. Relax."

She stood there for a few seconds longer, waiting for him to change his mind, before slowly sitting down again. Occupying herself by picking up the cans she had knocked into the lake while he sat next to her. It was a small dock, so his shoulder was almost touching hers, but neither of them flinched away from the other.

"You're out late." He said casually after a moment, holding out a beer to her, much to her surprise. She took it gratefully, the chill of the metal strangely comforting. As was his choice to not comment on the fact she clearly had been crying before. "Can't sleep either, huh?"

"Yeah...contemplating life and all that, y'know?" She gave a humorless chuckle an shrug, staring out into the darkness beyond the lake.

"Buh...life." His voice filled with contempt for the very idea of it, taking a huge swig from his beer. That trademarked frown of his returning in full force and his nose scrunched up in disdain. A long beat of silence passing between them before he spoke again. "...You ever feel like...no matter what you do, you're gonna fail? Like you're stuck in some miserable abyss, and you're so deep you can't even see the light of day?"

She turned to look at him in startled bewilderment, afraid he had somehow read her mind or she had spoken her thoughts out loud without realizing. Meeting his eyes for a brief moment--oh wow he was a little taller than her when they were sitting down--before looking away again.

"Yeah, actually..." she admitted, tapping on the now lukewarm beer can in her hands nervously. Feeling tears prick at the corners of her eyes again. "I thought I was doing better, getting closer to the surface, only to get dragged back down into the void again. It was stupid to get my hopes up, I'm so out of my depth here I feel like I'm drowning.."

It was a shock to hear the words leaving her own mouth, she normally wasn't so candid about her inner turmoil with, well, anyone. But something about Shane's demeanor and his own willingness to talk about dark things made it easy to be open.

"Me too..." He nodded, a softness in his voice she'd never heard from him before. At least not directed at her. Almost like vulnerability. "I just feel like no matter how hard I try...I'm not strong enough to climb out of that hole.."

"Me too..." she echoed back in a whisper, afraid her voice would crack if she spoke any louder. "Maybe it was a mistake to come here.." He gave a small hum in response.

"What possessed you to even try farming in the first place? You don't seem the outdoorsy type. No offense." She cringed at his question, valid as it was. It was just not one she really wanted to answer. But he was being honest with her, she at least owed him something.

"Burnout. Work was draining the soul out of me, I had no life outside work and my mental health was really suffering because of it. Needed a way out, so it was either this or..."

"Or throw myself off the top of the Joja Co™ building" was the rest of that sentence, but that's not something you say in polite company. Not right off the bat, at least.

"...something more drastic." Was how she actually finished the sentence, and even that earned an eyebrow raise from Shane. But, again, if he was concerned he didn't directly comment on it.

"Here's to not doing anything drastic then." He said, holding his beer up to her in a mock toast. The barest hint of a smile on his face.

She chuckled softly, finally cracking open her own can and holding it up to him in return.

"To not doing anything drastic."

Downing the entire can in one go, gulping it back so fast she barely even tasted it and had to gasp for air afterwards. Shuddering at the head rush the alcohol immediately brought on. Shotgunning a beer on a near empty stomach probably wasn't the best idea she had today, but the buzz was better than the anxiety chewing on her brain.

To her surprise, she heard Shane laugh. An actual laugh, not simply blowing air out of his nose or a sarcastic sound. A nice laugh.

"Fast drinker, huh? Woman after my own heart." He smirked, bumping his shoulder against hers and giving a wink. She felt her cheeks immediately flush bright red, hoping it was too dark for him to notice even with the close proximity. Her heart beating just a little faster than before.

Was...was that flirting? Was he flirting with her?? Or just being friendly and she was reading too much into it? Surely he was just joking around. But that smirk...

Before she could even say anything, though, he was rising to his feet again with a grimace and rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. Looking a little embarrassed now, like he had said something he shouldn't have.

"Just don't make it a habit... you got a future ahead of you still." He mumbled sheepishly, making her giggle at how different this was from his normal gruff demeanor.

"So do you." She answered softly and with complete sincerity.

"Doubt that." He scoffed and shifted weight from one foot to the other, deep frown returning.

"Shane..."

"Welp! My liver's beggin' me to stop. Better call it a night." Clearly not wanting to talk about this any further. Emotional walls going back up and vulnerable moment over. "I'll, uh, I'll see you around, yeah? G'night, Katherine."

Her expression faltered a little, shoulders slumping. He still wouldn't call her "Kat", even after this little heart to heart of theirs. But maybe things could be friendlier between them now, so that was something...right?

"Y-yeah... Good night, Shane." She lifted her hand in a small wave, watching him walk away until he disappeared into the dark. Sitting on the dock alone for a little while longer before picking up all the cans she could see and starting the treck back to her own farm. A small sense of hope blooming in her chest as she passed a few healthy looking hot pepper plants she'd been growing.

Shane liked hot peppers, Marnie had told her so before. Maybe she would bring him some tomorrow. Repay him for the beer and the chat.

Maybe the summer would be okay.

[spacesapphi]

"Moving Forward Spiraling Downward Chapter 20- Reconstruction"

AHHH SO EXCITED FOR THIS CHAPTER I missed their dynamic so much. We're getting close to the end, so we're gonna see things start to wrap up soon

CW- brief mentions of Shane's 6 heart event are in this chapter

Summary: With all the new changes coming about, none is more surprising than the fall of JojaMart and reinstatement of the Community Center. With the store closing, Shane starts to think more about Sam, and the impact the shutdown will have on him and his family. He then sees an opportunity to finally reconnect with him, and he can only hope Sam wants to do so as well

AO3 Version Here

Tumblr Version below the cut

“Find a new hobby, get yourself out there! Something’s bound to bring you that joy you’re looking for,”

Shane had been mulling over his therapist's words for some time, and only now was he heeding them. He supposed she was right, he did need a new hobby, something to keep his mind busy while he was getting through this stage of life. After multiple trips to Robin’s and thousands of G were spent, Shane thought he might’ve finally found his hobby after all. 

“Can you grab me that mallet, Jas?... No, no, the little one,” he instructed, leaning down precariously from his spot on the ladder, pointing to the haphazardly piled tools on the ground. Jas used all the strength in her little arms to heave it up to him, her hands wobbling under the weight. She huffed in relief when he finally took it from her grasp, looking up to the large wooden structure he was building in curiosity. 

“What’re you buildin’, Papa Shane?” she questioned. It just looked like a giant hardwood box at the moment, nothing all too special yet, but perhaps it could turn into something grand! Maybe a clubhouse for her and Vincent, or a playroom just for her! The possibilities were truly endless, her imagination running wild.

“Just a chicken coop,” Shane shrugged.

Or… just a coop. Jas’ shoulders slumped in disappointment. So it wasn’t anything too spectacular after all, just another farm building. The ranch had plenty of coops already, too, “Why? We got like a million,” she observed, putting great emphasis on ‘million’. Shane placed the mallet atop the ladder for just a moment, wiping the sweat from his brow, “I’m doin’ an experiment, need a space,”

An experiment! Now that got Jas’ little scientific mind excited. She gave him a toothy smile, suddenly leagues more interested in the project, “What kind, what kind?!”

“Well…” Shane flashed a grin of his own, “I think I’m gonna try to make a new kind of chicken. Maybe something fluffy, or a new color. What do you think, Jassy?”

Jas thought hard for a moment, “Make a blue one!”

“Blue, huh? How come?”

“It’s my faaaavorite color!”

“Didn’t you just say it was pink last week?” Shane questioned, raising a brow. Jas just folded her arms and tilted up her chin, giving him her most serious face, “I’m a complicated person,”

“Sure are, kid,” Shane laughed, “Now why don’t we-”

“Shane! There you are, finally!” 

The sound of footsteps coming from town thudding on the frozen ground grew louder. Marnie sprinted towards the pair, hiking up the hem of her dress so as to not trip. The look on her face could only be described as frantic. She halted to a clean stop just in front of the coop, leaning against it to catch her breath for a moment. Shane couldn’t deny that it greatly worried him. He hopped down from his spot atop the ladder and placed a hand on her back, a concerned look resting on his face, “What’s wrong, are you okay?”

“Nothing’s wrong!” Marnie chirped, an almost laugh to her voice. She looked absolutely ecstatic, her eyes shining like stars. Shane hadn’t seen her this excited in years at this point. She looked as if she just won the lottery… and Shane secretly hoped she did. But what would come to be would be better than any lottery there ever was. She finally caught her breath, regaining her composure before sharing her grand news.

“Jojamart, they’re-!” she squeaked with excitement, clasping her hands together and holding them close to her face, “They’re shutting down, Shane! They’re leaving for good!” 

Shane blinked in surprise, trying his very best to soak it all in, “No shit…” he breathed out, “How? Why?”

“That’s the best part!” Marnie exclaimed, “The Community Center, it’s open again! Someone’s been repairing it in secret and it’s beautiful!” 

The old Community Center… Shane remembered it well. In his youth it was the prime spot for everyone in town, where many festivals were held and folks mingled. It was a cornerstone for the community in its prime, the pride and joy of its residents. He had fond memories of the place, mourning the day it began to fall into ruin. Though honestly, in the past few years he hadn’t given it much thought. No one had. It seemed the only people concerned about it were Lewis and Jojacorp. And the only thing concerning Shane in this moment was just one little question:

“Why are you so excited about it?” he finally asked, “I mean it’s great, fuck Joja, but… why?”

“That’s a bad word,” Jas scolded, giving him a pout. Shane silently mouthed a ‘sorry’ before turning back to Marnie, expecting an answer. Marnie tsked and shook her head, placing her hands upon her hips, “Don’t you get it? Joja’s pricing, it was making everyone shut down, have shorter hours… If they’re gone that meaaaans-” she motioned a hand outward, inviting him to finish the sentence. 

It suddenly sparked in Shane’s mind, a look of realization on his face, “The ranch won’t be strugglin’ anymore?”

“Mm-hm!”

“Holy sh-... Wow that’s…” Shane breathed out, “That means you can hire ranch hands right? So you can have help again?”

“Well…” Marnie started, a sly smirk rolling onto her face, “I had another idea, actually! Follow me,” 

She motioned for the pair to follow her inside the ranch, running in with joy in her stride. Shane and Jas exchanged a puzzled look before following her inside, finding Marnie digging around the shop counter for… something.

“I can get some employees, Yoba knows we’ll need seasonal help in the Spring,” she pulled open a drawer, a look appearing in her eyes that told Shane she found what she was looking for. She rummaged for just a moment longer before emerging from behind the counter, “But I think this might be better,”

She held out a thick envelope to him, goading him to grab and open it. Shane plucked it from her hands in caution, opening it to find a grand stack of money, what had to be thousands of G. His brows knit together in confusion as he looked back up to Marnie, “I… don’t get it,”

“It’s a paycheck,” Marnie explained, pushing the envelope closer to him, “Your very first one from the ranch!”

“What are you…?”

“I’m offering you a job Shane… And not just any job,” Marnie looked at him with pride, eyes crinkling in the corner as she smiled, “I want you to be my official business partner, co-owner,”

He stared at her in awe, mouth slightly ajar. He didn’t move an inch, almost like he’d been frozen solid. It… worried Marnie to say the least. Her smile slowly dropped into a nervous frown as she awaited a reaction. She thought he would be happy about this, but she just couldn’t read his expression, “It’s just… you’re already so good with the animals, and you help out so much already, you may as well get pai-”

She was cut off by Shane lunging forward to pull her in for a tight hug, Marnie yelping in surprise. Her smile quickly returned in just moments as she returned the embrace, “I’m guessing you’re excited?”

“Are you kidding? This is probably the best news I’ve gotten in years!” he pulled back and looked back down at the envelope in his hands, feeling woozy at the sheer amount of money inside, “And you’re sure about the money? It’s… a lot. More than I ever made at fuckin’ Jojamart,”

“Language,” Marnie warned. Shane scoffed in response, “Sorry, sorry… It’s more than I ever made at that fuckin’ place that shall not be named,”

Marnie rolled her eyes unimpressed, giving him a pat on the back, “Alright, alright… Are you excited, though?”

Excited was too weak of a word to describe how Shane was feeling. He was so overly ecstatic, giddy beyond belief at this turn in events. The community got its centerpiece back, he had a job he’d actually like, and Jojamart would finally get its claws off of the valley. Everything seemed to be changing for the better, not just for him or his family, but this entire town. Things were looking up, the future seemed bright. Everyone would thrive! At least, that’s what he thought until one little thought slipped its way into his mind.

“Wait… what about Sam?”

“What about him?”

Shane looked towards the direction of town, frowning, “The kid needed that job, too. What’s he going to do now? Not exactly many places to work here,”

“Oh, I still haven’t spoken to Jodi about it… The poor things, I know he was helping out at home,” Marnie put a hand to her cheek, a woeful expression taking over her face, “Have you talked to him at all?” 

“No… not really since the concert,” Shane confirmed, regretful in his tone. He had come to realize how cruel he’d been that night, how much he had overreacted. Multiple sessions with his therapist gave him a new perspective on that night, a new view on Sam as well. He had every right to be angry, but talking to the poor kid that way was something that made him feel so embarrassed of himself. It was something he wished he could take back, but that wasn’t possible. There was no going back on that now. Perhaps he could try to reach out though, if Sam even wanted to see him.

 “You know, the night when… everything happened… he went out looking for you,” Marnie whispered, almost as if she had been reading his mind, “Poor thing got sick from the rain, had a fever for days.”

“... I didn’t know..” 

“I know you two aren’t on great terms, but he cares about you. Jodi says he sees you like a brother,”

“Hmm,” Shane sighed, pursing his lips. One thing was certain to Shane, Sam had an odd idea thinking of him as a brother. Of all the people in town to look up to, to care about, he chose him? Was there really no better option? No. He had to shake that kind of thinking. The self deprecation only made things worse, harmed his relationships. That was what his therapist had told him at least. And after all, if a good person like Sam looked up to him, how bad could Shane really be? 

He just couldn’t help but feel guilty about the night of the concert though. He had been so hurtful, so needlessly cruel to the poor kid, all over an honest mistake. In all honesty, Shane had projected his own grief onto him, letting everything he’d bottled up overflow and burst out in a grand display of anger. And even still, after all he’d done, Sam was still there for him in his darkest moment. A show of true kindness and selflessness, one that made him feel ever so lucky to know Sam. And now he could be there for him when Sam may need it. Looking back towards town again, he quickly made a decision. Hopefully Sam was in the mood to talk to him after all this time.

A knock rang out on the Neilson family’s door, Shane standing outside with a nervous expression, anticipating what he would say, what he would do. How would he even greet Sam after all this time? Was there even a proper way to do so? The door suddenly swung open, a high-pitched creak accompanying it. Jodi’s head peeked out from the other side, a wide grin appearing on her face, “Oh it’s you! How are you feeling? Did you get the casseroles we made?”

“Hey, Mrs. Neilson, I just-” Shane looked around her, finding the house devoid of any other residents, “Is Sam here? I wanted to talk to him- if that’s okay,”

“Ohhhh,” Jodi mused, shaking her head, “No, you just missed him, actually. He’s got another concert in the city tonight, he and his friends are already setting up down there,”

“Do you have the address?” Shane asked, earning a smile from the older woman, “Of course! I was just about to take Vincent down to watch it too. You know where the Zuzu Concert Hall is, right?”

“Yeah, used to live by it,” Shane shrugged, “Concert Hall though, huh? That’s a huge deal, hard to book it,”

“What can I say? Those kids are talented,” Jodi was beaming with pride, absolutely basking in the praise her son received, “I wish his father was here to see it, he’d be so proud… I'm sure he'll be happy to see you there though!”

“Yeah, maybe…” Shane mused. Would he, though? Sam was kind enough, forgiving too, but what he'd done had to cross a line. He worried showing up might put a damper on the night, have the exact opposite effect he intended. But he would never know unless he tried… right?

“Can we go now?” A tiny voice piped up. Vincent appeared beside his mother, looking rather excited to get going. He grabbed onto Jodi’s hand, tugging on it impatiently as he hopped up and down. Catching a glimpse of Shane out of the corner of his eye, he stopped for just a moment, smiling brightly, “Hi Mr. Grumpy!”

“Vincent!” Jodi scolded in a harsh whisper. Vincent frowned, seemingly confused at her reaction, “What? That’s what Sammy calls him!”

Jodi looked back to Shane, rather flustered and embarrassed, “I apologize, for both of them. She looked back down to her son, more stern and serious, “You apologize too,”

“Sorry…” he whispered, suddenly more quiet and nervous. 

“It’s fine, honest,” Shane tried to fight back a smirk, not wanting to counteract Jodi’s parenting. He threw up a hand quickly as a wave goodbye, “I’ll meet you both down there, then,”

“Of course! And Shane-” Jodi called out, watching the man stop in his tracks. She gave him a more melancholy smile, her eyes knowing, “You’re always welcome here. Just.. give us a call if you need anything, okay?”

“Yeah… will do..,” Shane affirmed, giving her a curt, sheepish nod before heading off towards home.

Another concert… and at someplace as influential as the Zuzu Concert Hall no less! Shane couldn’t help but feel proud of Sam. Seeing his venues go from an awkward little stage in a field to somewhere so prestigious was a huge deal, and one the kid should be proud of. It was something Shane felt was deserving of something special. Besides, it would be their first time talking in nearly a year now as well. He had an idea in mind, a wonderful one at that. He just needed to make one more stop at home before heading out for the night to help it come to fruition. 

------------------------

The concert hall was buzzing with activity, the sounds of patrons' voices bouncing off the walls of the stageroom. There was much excitement about the concertgoers, old and new fans alike excited to see what was in store for the bandset that night. Sam still couldn’t believe how much success the band had come across, feeling ever so blessed for it. But even moreso, he felt nervous. He paced around the backstage, muttering affirmations to himself as he always did before a big show. He just couldn’t help but get worked up about it. He turned to Sebastian, biting his lip anxiously.

“What’s it looking like out there?”

Sebastian peeled back the stage curtain ever so slightly, scanning the audience intently. People were starting to file in, chattering amongst themselves as they waited for the curtains to draw back. Their families waited for them amongst the crowd, speaking proudly to the other patrons about the band’s members. It was faint, but Sebastian could just barely make out his mother and Maru’s voices among the others. They spoke so kindly of him, praising his talent, getting people excited for the show. Hell, they were even wearing band tees. He felt himself smile, a warm feeling welling in his chest. It was going to be a good night, a perfect night.

“It’s perfect, Sam,” he responded, flashing a grin to his bandmates, “You two ready yet?”

Abigail dramatically flopped back into her drummer's chair, an air of unmatched excited energy about her, “Been ready!”

“Sam?” Sebastian turned his attention to his friend, watching him fiddle nervously with his guitar. He knew Sam could get a little nervous at bigger venues, wanting so badly to leave a good impression on new and old fans alike. This was his passion, it was his art. It had to be just right. He finally grasped a pick tight between his fingers, letting out a deep breath in preparation, “Ready as I’ll ever be,”

The three got into position, Sebastian flashing a signal to a stagehand to let them know it was time to begin. The lights behind the curtain brightened as the ones in the hall dimmed, and the excited roars of fans rapidly grew to life. The sounds of their cheers and chants fueled the trio, the electric energy of it all flooding their veins. Watching those curtains peel open to reveal the crowd of fans made Sam’s heart swell with joy, and he found himself unable to keep that childlike excitement off of his face for long. 

As he began to play, Sam could feel himself grow lighter. His mind and soul were transported to another place, a place of pure joy and passion. The strings beneath his fingers buzzed with energy, each chord he struck filling him with life. He was no longer just Sam Neilson, an ordinary boy from an ordinary town; he was someone special, he was a star. This was what he was meant to do, this is where he was meant to be. The roars of the crowd only confirmed it, encouraging him to play on. So play on, he did. 

As the final song drew to a close, the trio basked in applause for just a moment, giving themselves a moment to take pride in their music, the effect it had on others. Sam scanned his eyes over the crowd, finding his incredibly proud mother looking at him with adoration, never once doubting her son's talent. Vincent stood beside her, hopping up and down in glee. Sam could swear he heard little shrieks of “That's my brother!” being chanted, bringing a smile to his face. 

But when he looked to the back of the room, the glimmer of a stage light reflected off a camera lens, drawing his attention to its owner. To his surprise, he saw a familiar purple-haired man wearing a Goblin Destroyers T-shirt beneath a leather jacket, smiling away as he videoed the stage; Shane. Sam was surprised to say the least. He felt himself freeze just a bit at the sight of him, not believing his own eyes. But as unbelievable as it was, who else could it be?

Shane seemed to notice Sam had realized he was there, holding up a hand as a little wave. Sam held up his hand in return, looking past the camera to his friend, the warmest smile upon his face as the curtains slowly drew closed.

While other patrons filed out for the night, Shane had a mission to get backstage. Ducking and weaving between the concert-goers, he finally slipped behind the curtains and up onto the stage. Sam, however, was nowhere to be seen. The only people standing backstage were his two friends, the pair seemingly bantering back and forth. 

Abigail leaned over her drumset, resting her head on her hand as she pouted.

"C'monnnnn," she whined, "We killed it tonight, they loved us! Why do you look so miserable?"

"I'm not," Sebastian muttered.

"Then why aren't you smiling?" Abigail smirked, leaning in closer, "Where's that handsome smile from my handsome boyfriend?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes, playfully pushing her aside with just a hint of a smile on his face, "You're so fuckin' corny, Abs,"

"But you love me~!"

"Yeaaah I guess so,"

“You guess so?!” Abigail gasped, mocking surprise and offense. The two stared at each other in silence for just a moment before breaking into smiles and laughing quietly amongst themselves. Sebastian ducked down to give her a quick kiss on the forehead, quickly returning to his keyboard to pack up.

Something about their conversation felt so… familiar to Shane. He couldn’t help but feel a nostalgic fondness at the pairs bantering, finding his own joy in theirs. But that wasn’t what he was back here for. He scanned the backstage to look for Sam, finally catching a glimpse of the young man strutting past his bandmates, disappearing through a door on the farthest wall. Carefully and quietly he followed him back, slinking through the door completely unnoticed by the others.

The stars were visible tonight in the city sky, a welcome surprise for Sam. He rested against the back wall of the concert hall, content to be alone with just himself and an old acoustic guitar. He strummed mindlessly, stringing together an odd melody as he stared off into the sky and reflected on the night. Everything had gone so well. It hardly felt real, if he was honest. His family was there, the crowd was massive, the show went off without a hitch… and someone he never expected to see again stood in that crowd. This felt like one of his dreams, the ones he used to have as a little boy where he was a world famous rockstar. Everyone knew his name, everyone adored him! In those fantasies the world was his, he was somebody special. He could hardly believe that the fantasy was becoming real in front of his very eyes now.

“Hiding from the lovebirds?”

Sam snapped out of his daze, looking up to see Shane standing just beside him. He found himself startled for just a moment before pulling his hand away from his guitar to pat the ground, signalling Shane to take a seat.

“Yeah, heh… Thought I’d give them a minute, I guess,” Sam shrugged, “They’ve been wanting a lot of time on their own, though… Kinda turned into a third wheel, I guess,”

“You’ll get used to it, trust me,” Shane scoffed, “Give it a month or two, things will go back to normal,”

Sam nodded, turning his head away ever so slightly, an awkward expression upon his face. Shane couldn’t deny he felt the same awkardness. There was still such an underlying tension to their conversation, one they wished would just go away. But it wouldn’t, not until they finally talked about it. But neither of them wanted to do so, neither were willing to rip off the bandage. Why risk souring this perfect night with such a heavy conversation?

“The music was even better this time,” Shane mused, trying desperately to pick the conversation back up, “Lot of improvement,”

“... Thanks,” Sam smiled, looking down at the strings of his guitar, “Had a lot of time to practice, y'know?”

“Yeah… yeah,” Shane muttered. The pair fell back into silence, one that made Sam feel even more tense. It was only getting worse, and all the thoughts he tried to push to the back of his mind only became more present. Thoughts about their friendship, thoughts about the past few months, all the unspoken words that just couldn’t remain that way anymore. Almost out of his control, he opened his mouth to speak once more. 

“I'm really happy you're here, Shane,” Sam admitted. He tapped his fingers across the wooden body of his guitar, an air of nervousness about him.

“Me too… You three killed it tonight, it was g-”

“I’m not talking about the concert,”

“... Ah.”

“I didn’t think I was gonna see you again.” Sam mumbled, “It was scary, town was really quiet, everyone was acting off… I tried to come see you when you got home, but your aunt said you needed time,” he shrunk into himself, feeling an unpleasant feeling well up as he reminisced, “I think that's the most scared I've been in a long time,”

“I’m sorry, Sam. Really I am,”

Sam shook his head, “I should be sorry. I am sorry,” he huffed, “You know, for last time,”

“It wasn’t your fault, kid,”

“But I ruined that tape, the important one… And I didn’t even notice that things were that bad! I knew you were sad but I didn’t think…” he stopped, sighing pitifully, “I didn’t think it was like that… and I’m sorry,”

“You’re not responsible for the dumb shit I do,” Shane mumbled, “The dumb shit you do is another thing but… don’t feel guilty because of what I did,”

Sam wasn’t sure if he could, or why he felt guilty in the first place. He knew it wasn’t his fault. But his mind just couldn’t shake a feeling of responsibility. Sam felt responsible for so much. 

He felt responsible for his mother and brother's happiness, he felt responsible for being the man of the house until his father came home, and he supposed he let that resonate in him over the years. Sam was responsible for so much that he had begun to feel like everything was his responsibility, even though it wasn’t. And that fact made it hurt that much more everytime someone called him childish or immature. But hearing this from Shane's own mouth was healing in a way. It lifted a weight on his chest that he wasn’t even aware was there until now. 

“And listen-,” Shane muttered, “I’m sorry about what I said to you that night. You’re not stupid. I never should have called you that. It’s no excuse, but I was going through… a lot when that happened. It was the anniversary, I was at a low point… but I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry,”

“... You mean it?” Sam questioned, desperately wanting to believe him. Shane gave him a quick, confident nod, “Of course,”

“... Thanks. It means a lot,” Sam muttered, “Means a lot that you came too,”

“Didn’t want to miss another show. I’m sure I missed plenty already,” Shane huffed regretfully. He turned to his side, heaving the heavy recorder onto his lap for Sam to see, “Maybe this can make up for it though? I think I got the entire show tonight. Not the best angle, but it’s somethin’,”

“Didn’t you break your recorder?” Sam asked. He remembered that event well, how could he not? Even besides the argument that had been engraved into his mind, there were the physical reminders. Dents in his wooden floor where the recorder made impact, the occasional shard of plastic or metal bit rearing its head when he cleaned his room. Shane hadn’t even bothered to take the recorder with him after that, so how was it here, all in one piece? 

Shane gave him a short, almost sarcastic laugh in response, “I was a film major, you think I only had one of these things?”

“Wait, wait… your major?” Sam asked, taking amusement in that fact, “No damn way, you’re lying,”

“I can show you my degree, kid, I’m serious,”

“Thought you would do something boring. Like… taxes or business or something,” Sam shrugged, flashing him a mischievous smile, “Didn’t know you used to be cool,”

“Don't you even start with that,” Shane scoffed, frowning in that same fashion Sam remembered him by. The man just shrugged in response, giving Shane a cheeky grin.

“I'm just saying it feels unlikely!”

“I mean if you don’t believe me I can just take this all home and-”

“Kidding! I’m kidding!” Sam interrupted, holding up a hand in protest as Shane got up. The older man laughed at his gesture, quickly sitting himself back down.

“So was I kid,” 

He pulled the tape from its recorder, handing it over to Sam gingerly. Sam stared at it for just a moment, smiling when he saw the band's logo had already been sketched on with marker. It was perfect. He looked to Shane with a curious look, “I can keep this?”

‘It’s your show, why not?”

“It’s your tape, though,”

“It’s yours,” Shane corrected, pushing it lightly back towards Sam, “Keep it, it’s good to have memories like that. You’ll wanna look back on all of this someday,” he smirked, “You know, one day when you’re old and ‘not cool’ like me,”

Sam let out a short laugh and looked back down to the tape, feeling a little smile curl onto his lips as he held onto it, “... Thanks, Shane,”

“Keep it somewhere special, somewhere safe,” Shane mused, “Just make sure your little brother doesn’t get ahold of it and record one of his tv shows over it or somethin’, okay?”

“I will, I promise,” Sam affirmed. He looked Shane in the eye, noticing his friend's face seemed softer, kinder even. Shane looked happy, like the burdens of life had been falling from his shoulders with ease. He had seen old photos and heard stories of what Shane used to be like, how he was in a time long gone. Even still, he still couldn’t fathom that Shane was once much like himself, full of life and a love for it. But now he could. He could see it in his eyes, he could feel it in his heart, and oh how happy he was for that. As for Shane, he was just happy to sit there alongside Sam, to once more be able to call him his friend. There was still much to be done, more to heal. But it was a start, a new beginning. 

In that moment the two didn’t think of their troubles, nor the rocky past they shared. All that mattered was they were sitting together, watching the stars and chatting the night away. Not as coworkers of acquaintances, but as friends once more. 

[r0-boat]

Stardew Valley Submas

They live and run the train station near the mountain for travelers coming in and out of Pelican town from places like Zuzu City. ( though they haven't gotten many visitors)

Although they spend most of their time at the train station you do see them walk around Pelican town.

Their birthdays are the 18th of autumn .

They may look similar but their likes and dislikes are verrrry different.

One of the twins tell you, with the help with Clint they're the ones that actually built the Minecarts. And they broke down not too long ago they're disappointed to see them in this state but haven't had time to fix them.

After you fix the Minecarts they expressed their thankfulness.

Emmet

Best gifts: Coffee, Battery packs, Oranges, Pizza

Likes: all Universal likes, coffee beans, and iron bars

Dislikes: mayonnaise, Algae soup, green tea, jade

Needs the battery packs for his Joltik he asked you to visit next time and maybe you could meet her.

He likes the snack on the orange slices while he works, and coffee for obvious reasons, lol.

Emmet likes to walk around town on his break he doesn't like staying cooped up inside. He especially spends most of his time at the ocean. Adores pelican town for its quiet, peaceful atmosphere.

Similar to Shane most of his conversations when you first meet him will be very short (tho not mean)

Although disappointed for the lack of train appreciation.

In his two heart event, you find is missing Joltik and he expresses his appreciation.

After hitting four hearts, Ingo expresses his Delight at how close his brother is with you, telling you that Emmet isn't too fond of strangers, even though Emmet does stay cordial and professional, his brother does wish he would interact with the community more.

Emmet does in fact, want to have friends in Pelican town. Ingo was all he had when he grew up; Emmet expresses worry bc he doesn't do well in conversations. Maybe you can bring him out of his shell?

In the end Sebastian expresses that he wants to get to know Emmet more, bc they seem similar, and enjoys Emmet's more competitive nature.

The villagers especially the mothers of the town's opinion of Emmet is that they wish they could get to know him more but I meant usually is so distant.

Emmet tells you that Clint gives him bad vibes, and he doesn't like him, he'll work with him, but that doesn't mean he likes him... even if he does like trains.

Ingo

Best gifts: green tea, Jade, Pancakes, truffle oil, blackberry cobbler

Likes: all Universal likes and sweets, and iron bars

Dislikes: Coffee, Oranges, Pickles, triple shot espresso,

He uses oil to maintain the tracks cook, and for his little litwick friend. Ingo usually is buried in work. He enjoys his job, but sometimes he deserves a break; he usually hangs around the mountain, sometimes going to town.

When you greet him his eyes light up expressing joy that they rarely get visitors.

Emmet expresses worry of how much his brother works. He's very grateful of how helpful his brother is and how important he is to him.

Ingo expresses how important self-care is yet he doesn't do it himself. Harvey as the doctor has seen eye bags under his eyes he expresses that sleep is essential, and he is worried if Ingo gets enough sleep.

Emmet in one of his lines tells you that, Ingo has a sweet tooth put something sweet in front of him and he can't say no. Though he hasn't had the luxury of having it every often.

Emily and Abigail adore Ingo's more out going nature and louder voice yet gentle and polite mannerisms. (Usually drag him into their antics)

Morris says that he wants to hire Ingo because he has heard from the grape vine that Ingo rarely takes breaks and works diligently night an day. If only he had him for an employee lol( obviously an unpopular opinion)

Ingo after a couple of hearts ends up getting extremely ill from overworking practically collapsing on the ground. You put your foot down telling him he has to rest for at least a week and he agrees Emmet promises him to take good care of the station while he rests.

After that he expresses that is incredibly thank you and promises you he'll be more careful going forward telling you that even though he loves his job he understands that he has to take a step back and rest sometimes.

---

Possibly maybe a special event that allows you to marry both of them?

Where you have to be already dating the both of them and then you get a special cutscene where your character is shaking when they both enter a room but then Express their happiness on your acceptance to your confusion.

[stardewstardropthoughts]

(I don't know if you've done this before) but how would the bachelors react if you caught a cold?

I have not done this before but I shall do it now 😌 someone’s gotta look after the farmer because god knows they aren’t doing it themselves if they get sick lol

How the bachelors react when you catch a cold

Harvey:

I say this in like every prompt but like, he’s the doctor so your gonna be golden here

The moment you start to feel under the weather it’s doctor mode activated

He’s checking your temperature, giving you fever reducers, making you rest, making sure your drinking plenty of water and electrolytes

Won’t let you over exert yourself on the farm

He’s running you a hot bath so you can relax

He’s making you healthy meals through the day to keep your energy up

He definitely wears a face mask and gloves while doing this, he can’t afford to get sick he has a lotta patients

He definitely deep cleans the whole place at the end of each day

Will have you feeling better in no time

Sam:

He makes sure your taking meds, drinking water

Brings you nausea meds if you need them

Wraps you up in bed like a little burrito so you can take a nap to replenish your energy

Puts a cold cloth on your head

He’s so sad that your sick so he will absolutely snuggle up with you while you nap

Holds your hair back for you while you puke

He definitely gets sick after you get better

Elliott:

He’s bringing a care basket of meds and snacks and warm blankets for you

Tucks you into bed and puts a cold cloth on your head after checking your temperature

Makes you a nice bowl of soup

Cleans up around your house dispite how much you tell him not to

Also wears a face mask and gloves to avoid getting sick

Makes sure you always have a nice hot cup of lemon honey tea on the bedside table to sooth your throat

Washes your hair for you if you don’t have the energy to do it yourself

Will give your sore muscles massages

Shane:

Also brings a care package of snacks and meds to your house

Once he gets there he finds you looking miserable and feverish in the chicken coop feeding the chickens

He’ll finish the task for you, ushering you inside after where he promptly runs you a hot shower

He’ll get in with you and wash your hair, gently massaging your scalp while he does so

Let’s you lean your weight on him in the shower while he uses your body scrub on you

Once out of the shower he puts your pjs on you, wraps you up in his sweater and plops you into bed before making you take cold meds and a hot cup of tea

Once he’s sure your asleep he’ll put a cold cloth on your head and grab some cold water bottles out of your fridge to put on the bedside table for you

Stays with you the whole time, somehow doesn’t get sick, your very jealous

Sebastian:

He gets sick super easy so when he learns your sick he’s probably a bit hesitant at first to come over but ultimately his love for you wins out

But he’s suited up with a face mask and gloves

And so much hand sanitizer

Makes sure your taking cold meds on time, brushes your hair for you

Brings you food from the stardrop saloon to eat

Also stops by harvy’s to pick up whatever cold meds he has, literally one of each kind

Forces you to take a break because you were determined to not let a cold stop you but you were almost asleep in the corn field

Good luck living that down

Alex:

His immune system is fantastic so he’s concerned when you get sick

Stays beside you like glue, almost overbearing

Doesn’t want you to lift a finger, wants you to just lay down and rest and get better

Makes sure you take your meds on a strict schedule

Absolutely makes you healthy meals to help you get better

Makes sure you have plenty of fluids to drink

Wraps you up in endless amounts of blankets

Will snuggle you to keep you laying down

Puts on movies for you so you don’t get bored

[boygiwrites]

Harley D. Dixon 33

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📖Chapter List.

Author's Note.

TW: CHARACTER DEATH. OFF-SCREEN SUICIDE.

This chapter is heavy with a bittersweet/happy ending. As for the intensity level of the death, think back to the chapter where Shane died. If you want to know more, look at the first tag of this post. Please be wary of this before you read!

Through the wire circle, down at the bottom of the hill, the tiny prisoners are being kicked out.

Curling my fingers tighter around the fence, I squint against the sun, watching as the gate is closed in their faces. They're left to stand there, without direction or purpose, in a sort of purgatory. They can either stay there and eat gravel until they starve, or they can face the outside world. If Dale can hear me, I'm sorry for thinking this, but, good riddance. There certainly ain't no phones out there no more, or even any food, and I know they'll die, but, good riddance. We'on know them. If we let them into our cell block, we'd be downright fools.

You don't put foxes in a chicken coop. It's just common sense, and we don't have much, but we have that.

As our group walk off to continue their chores, content with the death sentence, T-Dog lingers by the gate, digging into his pocket.

Surprisingly, he passes them what looks like a granola bar.

"They're gonna need more than that," Carl muses from beside me. "They need weapons. Ammo. Water."

The two prisoners are less than enthusiastic to receive the snack, but pocket it with a nod anyway. Rick went back into their cell block and packed up their half of the food for 'em, because a deal's a deal, but every crumb counts. A snack can save yer life same way a gun can. 

As they turn into the field beyond the prison, I shrug. "Rick'll prolly let them back into their cell block if they come back."

"You think they will?"

If they don't die out there first, then the answer is obvious. "S'like when ya put'cher dog outside when they's naughty!"

He giggles, "They always wanna come back in."

"Them two fellers ain't no wild dogs," I agree. "They's a pair of chihuahuas."

Before Carl and I can watch the two prisoners for any longer, the door to our cell block opens behind us.

Turning around, a smile makes its way onto my face as Herschel shakily plods down the steps, a crutch wedged underneath each of his armpits. Beth and Lori are dutifully fussing over him, ready to catch him if he falls, but he's managing just fine on his own.

"Whoo-hoo, Herschel!" Carl whoops as we walk over, earning a grin from his Momma. "You ready to race me, yet?"

"Give me another day. I'll take you on," He chuckles breathlessly as he breaches the last step, noticing Mouse. "Hey, boy."

I ask him hopefully, "Will ya race me, too?"

"Oh, no," He exclaims as he rests against the rusty railing, the white sunlight curving over his face. "Now, you're a different story."

"You're being silly," Lori smiles to him.

"I hope so."

"Don't worry, Herschel," I knock my elbow into his. "I'll go easy on ya!"

"How generous. Perhaps Carl and I will just have to verse you as a team?"

"Then it'll just be twice as embarrassing when she beats us both," Carl snickers.

Everybody down in the field can be heard shouting cheers up to us, as Herschel lifts his hand off the crutch to give them a wave.

"Come on," Lori says, eyeing his free hand until he grips the crutch again. "What do you say we go rest at that table over there?"

"Well, I'd say I've got no choice."

"You're right about that," Beth says as we guide him across the courtyard. "Carl, what do you think of his new pants? Stylish, huh?"

The boy glances down, only just noticing the change. "Hell yeah."

"Beth was telling us she tailored them herself," Lori says, sounding impressed.

"Well, I didn't do it alone," The girl smiles as we reach the picnic table, carefully sitting Herschel down. "Harley helped me."

"I just held the string," I say shyly.

"No job too small," Herschel muses to me with a smile, before gazing out at the scenery around us, sighing contentedly.

As grey and bleak as this place may be, with its dead walkers and concrete walls, it's a nice day out, which is always a consolation no matter where we are in the world. The sky hangs bright and blue like a polished dome over our heads, painted with smeared, fluffy clouds. If I really wanted to, I could pretend it's just another summer's day back on the farm, but I'on think I do. I don't need peaches and cows to be happy.

"Good to see you up and at 'em again, Greene," My Dad smirks as he comes through the gate, taking the man's shoulder.

As he squeezes and pulls away, Herschel exclaims, "It's good to be up. I couldn't stand to be in that bed a moment longer."

"I bet. You could come help me clear the fence if ya wanted," He jokes as he walks off. "My students are on break."

"We're just leaving the grunt work to the grunt," Carl calls after him.

"Sure you are," Dad says over his shoulder, before drawing his knife and downing one of the many walkers at the fence.

As he gets back to work, Mouse runs up to us with his tennis ball between his slobbery teeth, dropping it at my feet.

Picking it up, I hold it out to Herschel. "Wanna throw it for 'im?"

"Absolutely," He says, taking it.

He throws the ball across the courtyard, sending Mouse scrambling after it like it's a little animal he's gotta catch. It's nice watching Herschel play fetch with Mouse like this, spending the morning chatting with each other about useless things like the weather and seasonal crops. 

After about ten minutes, when he gives me the ball to throw, it skips like a stone into a pile of trash near the dumpsters. Whoops!

"Ohhh," Carl exclaims dramatically, watching Mouse nose through the junk. "Foul ball."

Giving him a bit of a shove on the shoulder, I laugh, "Shut up, Carl!"

"She never claimed to be a pitcher," Beth giggles. "She's more of a kicker."

"Yeah, I'm a kicker," I agree, with twinkle-toes Carl dodging me as I try landing a kick to his ankle, "Lemme show ya!"

"She's attacking me!"

"I'm a biter, too!"

"Kids will be kids," Herschel chuckles heartily to the girls, shaking his head. After a short pause, I hear him utter, "What—...?"

It takes me and Carl a moment to settle down, pushing at each other and swallowing down our giggles, before we look in the direction of the dumpsters, where everyone has pinned their attention. The laughter dies in my throat just as quickly as it had come alive. Mouse has completely abandoned his search for the ball — My first clue something's wrong —, staring unflinchingly around the corner.

He starts growling lowly, making my Dad turn around just before a rotten foot steps out into the open.

A face peeks out, melted and dripping.

A walker?

Out here?

Then there's a second, and a third, and a suddenly obvious cacophony of groans that could only come from a mob.

As another walker appears on the opposite side of the courtyard, sandwiching us in, Lori gasps.

I exclaim, "What the Hell?"

Where'd they come from?

"Get inside!" My Dad shouts at us, drawing his crossbow, shooting, killing the closest corpse. "Get inside, quick!"

"Come on," Lori grunts as she and Beth haul Herschel onto his crutches. "Come on, we have to go. We have to go!"

The rest of the group are running up the road, screaming our names and fumbling with keys and guns, ripping the gate to the courtyard open, but it's total and sudden chaos, walkers scattered everywhere. Rick rears his axe back, slamming it into a rotting forehead. The blood spurts. The body falls. We can't take this many on, not like this. Dad was right. We have to run. I unsheathe my knife as Herschel and the girls hobble across the courtyard, my eyes darting from face to face, from yellowed mouth to cloudy eyes to melted skin.

"Mouse?" I call out, feeling almost guilty for wanting to run off and save him. "Oh, my God!"

A body breaks apart from all the others. It reaches out for us, its fingers curved like scythes.

Beth squeals, terrified. "Get away from us!"

There's a disgusting SQUELCH as I drive my knife into its knee, the cold blood splattering my cheek. Twist. Pop. Its knee buckles.

Herschel and Beth scurry up the steps as I pull my knife out — I don't have to kill it. It'll only waste time — shouting coming from all directions as I watch another walker lunge for Herschel and Beth. He raises his crutch, bracing the rubber stub on its chest.

I stand up, ready to help.

As soon as I'm back on my feet, a loud alarm rings out, freezing me to the spot. Who turned those on?

"Harley!" My Dad's voice roars from across the courtyard. "Come here!"

"Let's go, girl!"

T-Dog takes my arm. I'm being dragged toward Dad, tryna spot everybody else. Rick, he's with Lori, Maggie, Carol, and Carl, shoving them all into a big, red cage, closing the door, and fending off more walkers with Glenn. Maggie shoots the lock. They huddle through the door to the prison. They're out. They're safe. Herschel and Beth, they're gone. I think — I hope — they managed to escape, too.

Where did all these walkers come from? We blocked the courtyard off, didn't we?

We reach the back of the courtyard. There's my Dad. He lowers his crossbow, a walker collapsing to the ground in front of him.

"Daddy!"

"Get over here!" He shouts, using his bow to bludgeon walker about to bite into his arm. "We gotta go! Gimme 'er!"

T-Dog shoves me forward.

Dad grabs my hand, his grip turning my skin a pure white, and we're running past walkers again, approaching a big, metal door.

He unholsters his gun and — BANG — shoots the lock off.

"Come on!"

"We can't close this behind us, man!" T worries as we run into the dark corridor, walkers following after us. "What we gonna do?"

Without answering, my Dad leads around a corner, cussing under his breath as he frantically looks around for another door.

After he takes us down what feels like a hundred more corridors, he finds one. "In 'ere! Quick!"

We slip inside. He slams the door shut, taking a step back, staring at it for a moment before it starts to shudder under the weight of the walkers pawing at it on the other side. No more running. God. We've trapped ourselves in here, but at least we're safe, at least we're alive. I wasn't so sure at first, but I can feel the blood pulsing through my muscles now, my breath leaving me in short, panicked bursts.

"Shit," My Dad pants hotly, his sweaty brow glistening even in the dark. "We okay? Baby, you okay?"

"I—I'm fine," I nod shakily, the blaring alarms suddenly cutting out. "W-What happened to everyone else?"

I think I managed to help Herschel and Beth get out safe, but we got separated before I could catch up to them. 

"I'on know," He admits, "I'on know. Seemed like we all scattered, but they'll look after each other. Least we're together."

The walker's shadows twitch and warp in black shapes against the grey of the floor, their fingers curling up underneath the bottom of the door like rotten little shrimps, tickling the metal with their chipped nails. They're wild dogs clawing at a rabbits' burrow, thirsting for blood.

When T-Dog doesn't respond, the only noise in this small, dusty room the snarls from outside, Dad asks, "T, man? You okay?"

I turn to look at him, the lack of sunlight making my eyes hurt.

T-Dog is staring at his feet like there's an interesting bug crawling on his ankle, wordless, looking up at us with wide eyes.

"Oh, my God," I breathe, watching the blood pour out.

There ain't no bug on his ankle.

There's a gaping bite.

"My sister used to babysit our neighbour's dog from time to time," T-Dog chuckles to himself, sat up against the wall opposite us. His legs are kicked out lazily in front of him, his smile plump and warm, like he's relaxing on his porch. The only thing missing is a cigarette between his fingers. I'on think he realizes that me and Dad ain't fully listening, or maybe he doesn't care. "Man, he was an ugly thing."

Already, this room smells like death, and there's nothing we can do except stew in it.

The door shudders violently in the background. 

"A lil' Scottish breed, or sum. One of them dogs with the big moustache and the angry eyes. Anyway," He sighs. It's difficult to look at him, in a way that makes me feel an aching sense of guilt for averting my eyes like this, but I just have to. I can't look at his smile anymore, or at the puddle of blood, or at the bite, or even at the walls, my gaze stuck unwaveringly on my boots. "There was this one weekend. She'd just got done takin' the lil' guy for a walk, and she was on the phone with her friend, talkin' about a party. 'Course, I was eavesdroppin'."

He wheezes a laugh to himself as my Dad continues to stare emptily at him, not entertained in the slightest.

"I thought to myself, 'Girl. Our parents are gonna kill you if they find out.' She was never the bookworm type, or anythin' like that. She was a bit of a bully, mind. Used to invite me to get ice-cream with her and her friends and make fun of me the whole time-type stuff."

Shut up, I wish I could shout in his face without angering the walkers outside, It doesn't matter now. You're bit!

When I thought I'd gotten scratched back at the quarry, I spent all night thinking of things that didn't matter, so maybe I can't blame him.

"I just got so jealous," He whispers, his smile fading, a sad look in his eyes. "I'on even know what pushed me to do it, but I went into the backyard and I opened the gate. Let the dog out. I knew I'd done the wrong thing when I saw the look on 'er face. I even went with her when she was puttin' up missin' posters all over our neighbourhood, shoutin' his name. Pepper, pepper. We ain't never found him."

"Don't you just sound like a pair'a angels," My Dad dares to joke.

He laughs. "That's what Grimes said."

That was back on the farm, when T was tryna make me feel better 'bout my fight with Carl by telling me a story 'bout his sisters stealing from him. He's always had the most ridiculous stories that make us all laugh, and he would let us, even if it was at his expense.

If I were to think about useless things, too, I'd think of him nicknaming me and Carl, little nerds, him sharing his pretzels with me while I was unwell, how he went with Rick and Dad to save me from Shane, those stupid shirts we got him and Glenn for Christmas.

"Well, ya know what they say about great minds," Dad mutters non-committedly, before there's another thud on the door.

"Daddy?"

"Hm?" He grunts, leaning toward me.

Into the shell of his ear, I shyly whisper, knowing he can't do nothin' about it, "I'on wanna be in here, no more. I wanna leave. Please."

"I know, chicken. I know," He soothes, putting his arm around my shoulders, cradling my head against his side. "M'sorry."

T-Dog asks, "What'd she say?"

"She don't like it in 'ere."

"Well, I'm sorry, too. I'm gonna die," He chuckles incredulously, his belly shuddering. "And all I can think about is that damn dog."

"How you feelin', man?"

"Like ten pounds of shit in a five-pound sack," T-Dog slurs, his head lolled onto his shoulder. "Thanks for askin'."

It's been hours since we trapped ourselves in this room. I can tell, not only because of the way my stomach has begun to roil with hunger and my mouth has gone dry like two pieces of sandpaper rubbing against each other, but because of poor T-Dog. His bald head is slathered in sweat, the droplets sliding down his face as if he's sitting under a showerhead, but I know it's the work of the germs inside his body.

Dad, Merle, and I saw this hitch-hiker get bitten back in the beginning, while we were staying with this group of people whose supplies we ended up stealing. They was the types to pick up needy travellers on the side of the road, even if they'd just been bitten.

Merle wanted to kill the guy when he found out, but it only took half a day for the bite on the man's leg to do it for him.

"I think we gotta start thinkin' about—," My Dad cuts himself off, before muttering, "What we gon' do."

"We wait here until somebody finds us," T-Dog insists, repeating the plan they had came up with hours ago. The walkers won't leave us alone with him bleeding all over the floor the way he is, and to go out there would be suicide. "It can't be much longer, now."

"I'm—," Dad sighs. "I ain't talkin' about the walkers, T. You know I ain't."

He nods his head in jerky movements.

"I-I know," He says.

"I'on think they're gonna find us before it matters." His way of saying, Before you turn. "I— I can't have you in here with Harley."

When T-Dog doesn't have anything to say in reply, Dad forces himself to continue. "So... I got a bullet or a bolt. That's where we're at."

"No." He adjusts himself against the wall, lifting his head to look him in the eye. "I don't want you to."

"I know," He placates. "I'm sor—"

"I'mma do it myself," He says matter-of-factly. "I'm a man of God. It might be a sin to take myself out, but I'll be damned if I fought this hard and got this far, only to let another man kill me. Even if he's my brother. So, I'm doin' this on my own terms. It has to be me."

Stomaching his words, my Dad slowly nods to himself, before he sends me a sympathetic look.

T-Dog bides his time for a couple more hours by telling us what must be every story he has, but it's after he throws up into the corner of the room that it becomes obvious to us that we just can't afford to wait any longer for the group to find us.

"We ain't gonna be sappy about this," T-Dog warns us as he sits back down, wiping his mouth.

"C'mon. You're one'a the sappiest bastards I know," Dad deadpans. "And I know a lotta sappy bastards."

"I guess I just always wanted to go out in a blaze of glory, if I had to."

"You don't want yer last moments to be with us?"

Coughing up a laugh, T-Dog jokes, "I didn't say that."

I almost want to ask him to wait just one more minute — That's not a long time. He could do it — and after that minute passes, I'd ask him again. I know it wouldn't save his life if the group found us right now, but I wouldn't be asking for them, or even for him. I'd be asking for myself. Selfishly, I want just one more minute with him. What if—? What if he didn't get any sicker? What if he turns out fine?

It's a question only a fool would ask, and I know all I can do now is appreciate all the thousands of minutes he had before this.

"Okay," He sighs, reaching behind him, pulling out his gun and resting it in his lap, staring down at it. "This is it."

It ain't how my Momma did it, but it's just as awful.

"We could still wait," My Dad suggests, giving him an out I know he won't take. "If they find us, they find us. If they don't—..."

"You heard me, man. Blaze of glory." He looks up at us, his sweaty fingers gently curled around the gun. For the first time since the door closed, he meets my gaze, but he just looks tired, like he could use a long, peaceful sleep. "This is gonna be hard. I'm sorry."

I watched Shane die in front of me, watched him bleed much the same way. At least this time, I'll get the chance to close my eyes.

"You're a tough girl," He gulps. "You been through more shit than most."

"Thought'chu said we wasn't gonna be sappy," I complain, just to get him to stop.

"The first time I saw you, I just knew you were gonna be a lil' terror." He continues, anyway. "Dale, too. Said he knew you'd make it."

Dale always did say the darndest things. The only reason I've made it this far is because of other people. I ain't no clueless airhead can't skin no animal or kill no walker, but my beatin' heart can be accredited to a small group of people, one that includes T-Dog. There's been countless times where I should'a died and didn't, and this is one of them times that somebody else shouldn't be dying, but is.

I ain't special. Just because I ain't died yet don't mean everybody else can't still be alive, too. My Dad says, Ain't no such thing as good or bad luck. Just strong people, but T-Dog ain't weak and there is such a thing as bad luck.

"I thought you would, too," I tell him, hoping it's some sorta comfort.

"C'mere," Dad mumbles, helping me climb into his lap and rubbing his big hand between my shoulder blades as I press my brow to his neck, squeezing my eyes shut. He takes out my hearing aids, and after that, I don't open my eyes for the next few hours.

Like this, I can pretend it didn't happen.

But I can still smell the gunpowder in the air.

"Hush little baby, don't say a word," My Dad's voice rasps quietly in my ear, "Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird."

I've never wanted to leave a room more than I want to leave this one in my entire life. If I could, I think I'd claw my way out.

"And if that mockingbird don't sing, Daddy's gonna buy you a diamond ring."

The singing helps. It don't make the smell any more bearable, but it helps.

"And if that diamond ring turns brass, Daddy's gonna buy you a looking glass."

One more minute, I tell myself just like I wanted to tell T-Dog, one more minute, and then another after that. The others have an entire prison to search for us in, with twists and turns every few feet, dust in the air and walkers lining the corridors, and I can't even guarantee they ain't already dealing with the deaths of any of our other people, but I know they'll refuse to stop until they find us.

I keep replaying the scene of the courtyard in my head, remembering everyone who I saw made it out.

"And if that looking glass gets broke," He sings, "Daddy's gonna buy you a billy goat."

Sometime later, I realize I've managed to block out the sound of the incessant groaning because there's suddenly another noise amongst it all — A grunt too pronounced to come from a walker, then a squelch and a dull thud, like a sack of flour dropping to the floor.

Lifting my head from Dad's shoulder, I look at the door as the groaning becomes lesser and lesser until it disappears.

"They're here. They're here," I say in shock, climbing off Dad's lap just as the door is opened.

"Holy shit," Glenn exclaims as Maggie wraps her arms around me, returning my brutal hug. "You're here."

"We drew them away," She says, pressing a kiss to my cheek. "Oh, I can't believe it. We searched everywhere for y'all."

It's when she pulls away that I make the mistake of following her and Glenn's gazes into the corner of the room, where T lay exactly where I last saw him, the only difference being that his brains are now plastered against the wall in the shape of a flower.

"Don't look," Dad gently scolds me, turning me back around so I'm facing the door.

She stares at the carnage, her lips slightly parted without knowing what to say, before she has to look away, too. "What happened?"

"He got bit," Dad mutters. It's impossible to recount what we just went through in any poetic way, and the rest, they can guess.

"Horrible," She croaks.

"We can come back for him later," Glenn struggles to say, urging all of us outta the room. "Let's get you two back to the cell block."

"Is everyone okay?" I ask him desperately.

As the door closes on T-Dog, Glenn gazes down at me, his face just as exhausted-looking as Dad's, but with a slight glint in his eyes.

"Everyone's okay," He manages to smile, glancing at Maggie before he adds, "Even the new baby."

I look up at my Dad, his shock mirroring mine. "Lori had her baby?"

And that right there is good luck.

Glenn steps over a body. "Come on."

Author's Note.

In exchange for T-Dog's especially intense death, Lori lives.

I went over SO many iterations for this chapter after receiving a comment suggesting I consider letting Lori and T-Dog live, and honestly, this version was the most suitable one. I decided the other versions were either just too indulgent or didn't fit with the story, but I liked them, too 😭

Thank you to ermynee, because without them/you, Lori would also be dead right now!

I hated doing that to T-Dog, but I thought it would make for an interesting non-canon scene and wanted to balance out the fact that Lori lives. You'll see also that Carol doesn't get lost, so the whole 'getting stuck and being found' situation was given to these guys instead. RIP T-Dog.

Thank you for reading. Always appreciate you! 💙

@poetoflawed

[sdvbraindump]

Soooo... before I started Meteorite, I had another fanfic called Head Over Heels that I was working on. It was more canon to the Stardew Valley game with minor changes (I actually made Clint likable and less creepy haha). I call this fic more suitable for Wattpad because of how fluffy it gets.

Meteorite started as an idea off of Head Over Heels when I thought of it as what if the farmer and Shane knew each other but it didn't make sense to the story. So here we are!

Inspired by @maylilithreign tag earlier I want to share some of that story. Below is an excerpt from that fic (1285 words). Head Over Heels is set in a different AU than Meteorite with completely different characters.

This scene takes place after Shane visits the farmer Laney after his 6-heart event when he says he's going to see a therapist. Laney invites Shane for coffee and they talk.

I'll come back to this one day. It's also a long fic but Meteorite is really fun for me now. Once that's complete I'll probably go back and finish this. And yes there's also angst and smut in it too.

CW: panic attacks, anxiety, discussion of mental health

The two sat together on Laney’s porch, looking out over the farm, as they spoke. Shane did his best to make small talk as he asked her how the farm was. In reality, he was feeling anxious. He listened as she spoke while the feeling of dread was taken over his mind. But at the same time, he was also enjoying her company. He smiled a little as he listened to Laney’s progress with her coop and chickens.

“They seem to be happy,” she said, looking into her mug. “I was able to pick up one yesterday. They used to run from me.”

“It sounds like you’re doing well with the chickens,” Shane said before taking a sip. “If you keep this up they should be able to give you large eggs soon.”

“Well thank you for the tips. I know I can look it up online or read from a book. But think it’s better to get this info directly from an expert.”

“I’m not an expert. I learned from trial and error as well as research.”

“Yes, but you still need to be able to do everything right. Marnie says you’re the Chicken Whisperer.”

“Buh,” he said. “It’s easier to deal with chickens than people at times.” He stared out into the farm. “They don’t judge or make things difficult.” Shane looked down on the ground. “You must think I’m weird to think like that.”

“No, I get it. It’s like crops in a way.”

Shane continued to look at the ground. “You must think I’m pathetic after you found me in the woods.” He quietly said. “I’m nothing compared to you and what you got here.”

Laney shook her head in his direction, even though he didn’t see. “I don’t think anything like that at all.”

He ignored her comment. “You know, the name 'Shane' means 'Gift from Yoba.’ What a joke.” He snorted and finished the rest of his coffee in one gulp. “Sorry for dumping on you. I don’t expect you to understand.”

Laney slowly placed her mug on the step below her and stared out into the field. She took a deep breath before she spoke. “A month before I moved here, I had a severe panic attack at work. It was so bad that I had to go to the ER. I’ve had minor anxiety attacks in the past but this was my first full-blown panic attack. It was like I couldn’t breathe and my heart wouldn’t stop racing.”

Shane looked over at Laney when she said panic attack. She didn’t turn to him as she continued.

“And to be honest with you, I don’t even know what brought it on. Maybe I was overthinking something for work or stressing about my life. I don’t remember what happened. It’s like I blacked out.” She sighed to herself. “How pathetic does that sound?”

“That’s not pathetic at all,” he insisted.

She put her head to the ground as she continued. “I’ve had anxiety since I was in middle school, and it’s increased as I got older. Luckily I had my older brother to help me deal with it when we were in school, but I can’t continue to rely on him to be there for me as an adult. He has his own life to deal with. A little after my panic attack, my dad got an offer from Joja to buy this land but he refused since my grandfather left the property to me and my brother. So we decided that I should move here for a year to see if we should keep this farm. Kind of like I ran away from my problems in the city.”

Laney kept her attention on the ground. “I don’t know exactly the pain you’re dealing with Shane, and to be honest I don’t think I ever will. I bet you think I’m some overly confident person who has everything figured out. It’s all an act. I know what it feels like to be in a hole so deep and dark that you feel you’ll never get out of it. You feel that the darkness surrounding you is so much that even if you take one step forward to get yourself out you’d fall 5 steps behind. You feel like no matter what happens it’s going to end up bad so you don’t want to try.”

Shane looked at her, taken back at her statement. “You remember our talk that night?”

Laney nodded before continuing. “But since I came here I’ve seen a little bit of light coming through that darkness. And I like to think that every day I’m here the light gets bigger and stronger. Still have a long way to go but know I will get there someday. And maybe one day I won’t need to fake it.”

She turned her attention to him. “I know it is easier said than done, but I know you can pull yourself out of that abyss.”

He snorted. “Nice to see you have such high hopes for me.”

“And why shouldn’t I?”

He hesitated. “Do you really think I can do it?”

Laney stared right at him, her violet eyes sparkling. “If you didn’t you wouldn’t have asked me to take you to the hospital. You would have told me to leave you.”

Shane’s eyes grew big. “Maybe I was just too drunk.”

She shook her head. “You need to give yourself more credit.” She leaned closer. “Shane, I know you have the strength to do it. Marnie and Jas do as well. And I know you don’t think of me as a friend, but I believe in you.”

Shane felt something inside him as she said that. He didn’t know if it was surprise or relief, but it was the first time in a while that he felt that someone wasn’t judging him. She sounded like she was genuinely understanding. The look in her eyes wasn’t pity or disgust but encouragement.  He leaned over, not taking his eyes off her.

Laney felt herself getting nervous as she was close enough to get a good look at him. She saw that his eyes were actually green instead of the dark brown she always assumed. He looked calm as he stared at her. He’s actually kind of cute despite everything, she thought as she studied his face.

The two didn’t say anything as they stared at each other. Shane leaned closer to her until they were interrupted by a ringtone.

“Oh!” Laney leaned back and immediately stood up. She turned away from him to hide her blushing face. “I forgot, I have a call this morning!”

Shane also turned away from her and covered his face with his fist to hide he was also blushing. “You should take it. I need to head out anyway.” He quickly stood up and put his mug on the porch step, still covering his face. 

“Are you sure? You can stay! It shouldn’t take that long.”

“No it’s fine!” Shane started walking away from the house. “I’ll see you around.” He didn’t turn around as he waved goodbye, still covering his face.

Laney watched him walk away, feeling guilty all of a sudden. Her thoughts were interrupted again by her ringtone and she reluctantly pulled her phone out of her back pocket. She answered the call while she did her best to calm down.

Shane rushed to the bus stop once he was off the farm. He tried to calm himself down but Laney’s words kept replaying in his head. He put his hands to face as he tried to compose himself. 

“Did I really just try to kiss her?” Shane asked out loud to no one. 

[garbagefarm]

Garbage Farm (#1–#4)

Okay, I’ve started doing some archaeology to reconstruct session numbers for Garbage Farm!

Cast:

me (@mothmute)

E.B. (@salamand3rin​)

Kimi (@2kimi2furious​)

Session #1 for Garbage Farm took place on 2020-01-03, before I started taking notes for each session. All I’ve got on-hand is the following, from a few days later:

I realized something important!

George’s horrifying Cola Casserole … is made with baking soda. 👈👈

He will forever be Mr. Cola Casserole in my mind. Whatever else I might learn about him, I will always be thinking, “this is the guy who publicly announced that he wanted somebody to bring him a cola for his casserole. (a casserola, if you will.)”

why?

is he honest-to-god so incompetent in the kitchen that he would just … do that? did he mean that he wanted to have cola with his casserole? is this just some kind of power move, clowning on the rest of the town?

This will forever haunt me.

George put out a “help wanted” quest for some Joja Cola to use in a casserole, and I still have not forgotten this.

E.B. commented, “George’s Famous Cola Casserole is 1000% a power move. Nobody fucks with George.”

Session #2 took place on 2020-01-15, notes starting to materialize:

Good progress on garbage!

Bunch of progress on bundles, 2/3 backpacks, defeated Eggs, hit level 20 in the mines. Built a bridge.

everything is coming up Garbage.

[edit: future goals?]

third backpack, start upgrading tools, acquire Bird? Consider starting additional industries?  I can make tappers, now.

(defeat the ocean.)

Session #3 on 2020-01-20:

Upgraded a couple tools, built a silo, made it deeper into the mines, survived the flower dance, made it to summer

we don’t talk about the cauliflower

Followed by “Goals for Garbage Farm IV,” the first proper list:

soup

coop

(and associated birds)

plant for summer. I’m thinking we mostly lean hard on melons, peppers, and blueberries, with a side of corn

Melons can be big!

The Spirits demand quality melons!

Also, they’re apparently a loved gift for Penny

(seems worth befriending, at least)

Peppers are a bundle item

They’re also a loved gift for Shane

(who somebody has intentions towards)

Blueberrie$$$

Corn is a bundle item for fall as well?? since it overlaps seasons, may as well start it early to get the most $$$ out of it

The Spirits demand quality corn!

The Spirits demand a single tomato. sigh. fine.

(they also want a poppy. sigh, fine.)

(and a sunflower! but that can wait ‘til fall.)

(wheat can wait ‘til fall, too)

Lake and Ocean fish bundles should be doable

incidentally, looks like high-quality Sturgeon are among the best possible contributions to The Soup? after we get things planted, let’s coordinate an assault on the mountain lake.

(we might also want to catch a couple sturgeon for caviar production later on? that’s a thing now)

(Since I have an upgraded watering can, I am Designated Water-er)

continue checking the beach for mussels in order to cheese the crabpot bundle

I’ve been hitting some low-level caves in search of crab to help that, too

somebody should befriend Caroline in search of Tea

more tool upgrades?

begin plotting for upgraded house?

tapping trees maybe? we’ll see how they grow.

check the cart every. single. time. in hopes of redemption.

And we finally get an actual post-game writeup for Session #4, on 2020-01-26:

couple minor Melon Mishaps, but nothing on the scale of the C********* Catastrophe.

I defeated the requisite (rude) fish for Perfect Soup

We have two chicks; one name is cute, the other is dumb. you be the judge.

Sir Cluck

Eggbutt

The Garbage Hat has made an appearance! Truly we are blessed.

romance in the air

That’s all for this record of Garbage Farm History— ‘til next time!!

[acepalindrome]

I’ve spent much of 2021 thus far playing Stardew Valley in the hopes of distracting myself from the horrors of reality, and I keep meaning to make a list of mods I recommend! Because I am running a truly embarrassing number of mods and there are some really great ones that really improve the gameplay or add fun content or just make everything look really pretty! So without further ado, here are some of my favorite mods:

- Lookup Anything: This is probably my favorite mod. It basically eliminates the need to have to keep consulting the Stardew Valley wiki while you play. The title says it all: this mod lets you look up anything. Need to know what’s a good present for Shane? You can pull up a list of all his loved and liked gifts, with items you have on hand highlighted for ease, plus his birthday, how many hearts he has with you and how many points you need to get to the next heart. Need to know if you should hoard that pine sap or sell it? You can pull up all the uses for it, items that can be crafted with it, anyone who might like it, community center bundles it’s used for, and how much you make by selling. How many days until your melons are ready to harvest? What items can drop from that stone in the mines? What are all the items you can make with the furnace? It’s such a fantastically handy mod and I refuse to play without it!

- NPC Map Locations: One of the most frustrating things in the game is trying to remember everyone’s schedule and then not being able to find someone to give them a birthday present or turn in a quest item. This mod shows exactly where everyone is on your map and solves that problem for good!

- Automate: This mod automatically pulls items from nearby chests into machines, so you don’t have to keep running back and forth to your furnace to pick up the finished metal bars and toss more ore in there...it just spits the finished item back into the nearby chest, pulls in whatever available items you’ve got in the chest and starts running again without you having to do a thing! Just be careful of where you place your chests and machines or you might end up processing items you didn’t want to. Luckily, you can set individual chests to not have items pulled from them.

- Fishing Made Easy Suite: I suck at fishing. I almost never bother with fishing if I don’t have a mod to make it bearable. I like this one because it has different levels of easy-ness, so you can make fishing just 25% easier, or 50%, or 75%, or 99%! And there are some other fun perks too. You want to catch all fish regardless of weather or season? Want to catch legendary fish multiple times? Want to catch prismatic shards? Go nuts.

- Stardew Valley Expanded: This mod is absurdly huge and adds SO MUCH CONTENT. New areas! New characters! New events! I was a little hesitant to start it just because I knew there was so much to the mod and was a little concerned of how well it would mesh with the rest of the game, but the characters and story and style fit in perfectly with the vanilla content. I could almost forget Andy and Sophia weren’t there all along! The purpose of the mod was to make the game feel fresh and new for people who had already played the game and that’s exactly what it does. I love it.

- Artisan Valley/Project Populate JsonAssets/Starbrew Valley: I’m lumping these together but this is a collection of mods that add a TON of new items, crops, trees, flowers, machines and recipes to the game. You don’t have to download them all! You can pick and choose the ones you want, or download the PPJA content pack to get the bulk of these mods all in one go! I personally really love Artisan Valley because it lets me make floral candles and soaps. And an espresso machine so I can make fancy coffee. And Starbrew Valley so there’s actually a fun variety of alcohol in the game.

I’m putting the rest under a cut because this is getting too long.

- Chests Anywhere: Lets you access all of your chests from the menu! You can add some limitations, like only being able to access chests in the same location you’re in, but I’m dumb and constantly forget that I was supposed to bring a present for a villager with me today, or that I wanted to upgrade one of my tools but left all my metal bars at home. So instead of having to run all the way back to my farm, I can just open my menu and switch through the chests until I find the item I need! Labeling the chests also makes this a lot easier for organization.

- Seasonal Villager Outfits: Finally, the villagers have more than one set of clothes! This mod gives them different outfits in different seasons, different weather and special outfits for holidays! It’s cute and really improves the immersion to see the villagers wearing tshirts in the summer and bundling up in the winter, and dressing up for special events! Some characters will change their hairstyle too, which I love.

- Canon-Friendly Dialogue Expansion: Gives all characters more stuff to say so they won’t just repeat the same lines over and over! Also gives them varied dialogue for festivals starting in year 2, so they don’t say the same thing every year at the Egg Festival or Spirit’s Eve.

- Immersive Elliott: Add more dialogue! Lots more dialogue! I downloaded the Elliott version of this mod because that’s who I plan to marry but I recommend looking up dialogue mods for whoever your favorite characters are (I think there’s one for almost all the marriageable candidates.) You’ll probably be chatting a lot with whoever you’re trying to woo and it’s nice to get lots of new lines!

- Stardew Foliage Redone: There are tons of mods that change the colors and style of trees and buildings and stuff but this one is my favorite. It’s very soft and earthy and pretty without being overkill.

- The Love of Cooking: Actually makes cooking fun in Stardew Valley! It adds a cooking skill, an upgradable cooking tool that lets you cook with more ingredients (at the start you can only make one ingredient dishes), a cooking community center bundle, star levels to cooked items, an animation when you cook...cooking was very bland in the base game, and this mod really spruces the whole system up.

- Medieval Buildings/Medieval craftables: Again, there are so many mods that change up the look of your farm buildings and stuff but these are really pretty and cool and absolutely my style. There’s a mod to make all the town buildings have this style too, but I kind of like keeping the town normal and just living on my mysterious and beautiful farm apart from the rest of the world. My sprinklers are magic moss covered rocks now!

- Elle’s Dog/Cat/Horse/Barn/Coop/etc animals: Super cute animal skins. They look so huggable and soft. Also one of the dog options looks like my real life dog and that’s very important to me.

- Adopt ‘n’ Skin: Pairs well with the mods above, this mod lets you have multiple dogs/cats/horses and lets you use as many different skins as you like. I’ve got four cows and they’ve all got different patterns and colors. I love it. Also Marnie starts taking in stray animals and you can adopt them from her, which is a really cute way of letting you have more pets.

- Seasonal Garden Farmhouse: Its a pinch overkill especially in the early game, but I really like this farmhouse layout. It gives you a small kitchen from the start, a bathroom you can use to restore stamina, big open windows that change with the seasons and time of day...it’s a luxury house and it’s very nice to live in!

- Industrial Kitchen and Interior/Industrial Furniture/Rustic Country Town Interiors: These mods give the interiors and furniture a more rustic style, and the last one changes the town interiors to match. There are many furniture/interior mods, so if this style doesn’t do it for you, check out some of the others! There are lots of very pretty mods!

And I’m going to stop there but that’s only the tip of the iceberg and I highly recommend looking around NexusMods or ModDrop and seeing what kind of stuff is available!

[sdv-mostly-shane]

My favorite thing about Shane is that he is canonically the shortest bachelor.

Honestly I love it, It just fits his vibe-especially because my HC is that he’s built like a brick. My favorite depictions of him are when the artist adds some fluff and pudge to him.

I can just picture him being the perfect height to squeeze into Charli’s coop to lay down and nap with him.

Shane is the grumpy little chicken man

Don’t rest your elbow on his shoulder or he’ll clock you

Can you just picture him calling Sam over to help stock the top shelves that he can’t reach in the Joja Mart

And Sam never minds because he is the personification of a golden retriever and just wants to be friends with this small angry man

Also Jas asking Shane to pick the flower blossom from the big tree in Cindersnap Forest

And Shane-knowing he can’t reach-picks her up onto his shoulders for her to pick instead

And she giggles and brushes her little fingers through his hair and bends down to give him a kiss on his forehead

He doesn’t put her down for a solid half hour and they take a tour around the lake like that

My heart

[itslikethesizeofmy]

Yes I’m bipolar and yes I will insert it into everything as a way to accept and cope. TW for depressive episodes and a little shouting.

Blackberry Jam

Shane x Male Farmer. Angsty. 539 words. Read on AO3.

I hear knocking on my door, but don’t move to answer it. When the knocking doesn’t stop, I yell to whoever it is, telling them the door is open.

“Hey, uh…”

Shane sees me sat in front of the TV, a bag of chips haphazardly ripped open next to me. His eyes drift to the kitchen, and I know he can see the pile of dirty dishes and food wrappers. I know he can also see the grease in my hair when he looks back to me.

“Marnie said you hadn’t stopped by in a while, and nobody has seen you around town, so…” he tells me, rubbing the back of his neck. “Um… you good?”

“I’m having an episode,” I mumble, trying to be nonchalant about the situation.

“An episode of what, Frankie? ‘Livin’ off the Land’ reruns?” he asks, gesturing to the TV. I grumble and make myself move, brushing him aside to go outside, leaving my shoes on the mat. “Hey, I’m just—”

“I know, okay?” I snap at him. “I know you’re just checking on me. It’s fine, I’ll be fine, it’ll all pass.”

“You can’t just sit there all day,” Shane replies, following me outside. “Have you been taking care of yourself?”

“I’m fine, the farm is fine, the chickens are fine,” I gesture to my patch of crops and my chickens pecking at the dirt. “You’re not the only one with problems, Shane.”

“Fine,” he shouts before going back inside my home.

I grimace as he slams the door before growling to myself. The chickens follow me into the coop, clucking at me as I rearrange and clean for the second time today, being careful with my bare feet.

“What a way to fuck up, huh girls?” I sigh after letting myself cool down, and quietly make my way back inside the house.

I see Shane standing in my kitchen, silently finishing washing my pile of dishes, drying them with a clean cloth he must have pulled out of a drawer. I swallow before meeting him in the kitchen, guiltily wiping my feet on the mat. He glances at me before turning back to the dishes, and relaxes when I rest my forehead on his shoulder as he puts the silverware back in their drawer.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I’m having a hard time right now.”

“Clearly,” he states, wiping down the countertop.

“I can’t… I’m on medication, but that doesn’t stop it. You can’t get rid of bipolar,” I explain to him. “No medication, no amount of therapy, no homeopathic bullshit, will ever make me better. I just have to ride the waves sometimes.”

“You could have called,” he says quietly, leaning over the sink.

“What would I say? I can’t do the dishes right now? I can’t cook or get enough energy to shower? All I want to eat are potatoes and toast? It’s not that easy…”

“I know,” he sighs. “I know it’s not.”

“I wasn’t ready to tell you,” I mumble into his hoodie. “I didn’t think I would have to tell you, or that you would have to see me like this.”

“Well, I guess we’re even now,” he smirks.

“Yeah, I guess we are.”

[stardew-saloon]

Weird headcannon request: what would your favorite villagers do in an apocalypse

Listen listen listen. I fucking love anything to do with the apocalypse, especially when zombies are involved. So I’ll write about that !!

This one took a while, sorry ! I wanted to include at least all of the bachelors, and then bachelorettes in another post maybe if I’m not lazy.

Also I follow someone on my other account and I really liked how they like, used different colors to highlight names, so I think I’m gonna do that ! It’s just cute okay :)

Bachelors in the Apocalypse

Alex

Alex thinks of himself as the most ready for the apocalypse. He’s got what he and his family need to survive for months. Food, weapons (Mostly just old baseball bats), clothes, and the Will to Survive.

The zombies probably come from Zuzu city. City people are dumb and get infected right when the virus hits. Everyone in SDV is safe. For now, at least.

Alex, unlike the other villagers, refuses to interact with anyone but his grandparents. He keeps contact extremely limited with people. The only time he ever interacts is when he goes to drop off cookies at Haley’s house, per Evelyn’s request.

He does miss his best friend, though. He misses everyone. He misses that time where he didn’t hear zombies going around the town, banging on doors and smacking their heads against windows. It sucks!

Alex takes a number of zombies down. He’s easily one of the toughest bachelors, plus he’s super strong. He wants to eventually take out all of them, make the valley a safe haven like it used to be. There’s still a long ways to go, but he’s slowly making progress.

His grandparents, especially Evelyn, help out by cooking for him and others. Alex helps out other villagers by dropping off little care-packages. It’s cute! It’s also his way of keeping in contact with everyone and making sure they’re okay.

Alex is the one in a zombie apocalypse movie to survive until the end. He makes the smartest choices and keeps his family safe. He can’t afford to lose anyone else.

Harvey

As a doctor, Harvey’s first thought when he hears about the zombie apocalypse is that he needs to find a cure.

And so he tries to. For about a week. Maru is in the office with him for a while, going back and forth from her house to the doctor’s office. It’s tough experimenting on zombies and it feels.. wrong.

Even though they’re a zombie, Harvey knows that there’s a person in there. Was a person. So he gives up on the cure and instead focuses on keeping the citizens healthy.

Harvey is a goddamn tank. Were he to be partnered with Alex, the zombies would be gone within two days. However, they have different concerns. Alex keeps the zombies away from the valley, and Harvey keeps them away from houses.

They have a good system. Harvey goes around the houses to do checkups, trying to keep some form of order in the new world. He makes sure the oldies stay healthy, despite being cooped up, and that the people that are out fighting stay un-zombieified.

I think Harvey would almost last to the end, but makes a careless mistake and gets bit. Fortunately, a cure comes around! He still did research on the zombies during the apocalypse, and his notes came in handy.

Elliott

You’d think by now that Elliott would be used to being cooped up in his house. He’s practically a hermit! The only time he used to go out was to sit by the ocean or see Leah at the bar.

Now that he has to stay in, he doesn’t like it. It’s the same as all of us with quarantine. Elliott never went out much before, but now that he can’t, he wants to.

He feels like dying of boredom within a week. Fortunately, the sense of impending doom creates a good writing atmosphere. He finishes at least three books during the span of the apocalypse.

However, Elliott isn’t very smart about his survival. He either forgets to eat the food that Alex drops off, or eats it before the week is up. It’s tough.

Eventually, Elliott decides he can’t survive on his own like this. He feels like he’s going mad. It makes for nice poetry, but for now, he needs to prioritize his health.

So he makes his way to Leah’s! He figures it’s probably a good idea. Nobody ever said that you couldn’t hang out with friends, or stay with them.

While going to Leah’s, he’s not very careful with avoiding any zombies. He’s not attacked, but he is followed. Leah let’s him in of course, and then end up holed up in her house. She’s lucky enough to have the forest near her house, so she can rely on that.

Elliott probably trips up somewhere and ends up dying first, joining the rest of the zombies. He’s not very good at being a zombie, though. Which might be for the best! He doesn’t run around very much and usually just hangs back by himself.

Sam

Sam thinks he’s going to be good at the whole apocalypse thing. He’s like “I’ve played enough first-person shooter zombie games to know how to fight them off.” Then the second he’s put into combat, he falters and doesn’t know what to do.

Lucky for him, Jodi is good at fighting. Kent knows how to defend the house. Vincent knows how to ask dozens of questions about what’s going on.

And Sebastian knows how to sneak into Sam’s window at night when they haven’t seen each other in a while. They still try and keep close, but most of their conversations are over the phone. It gets lonely, sometimes.

Sam isn’t necessarily smart about the apocalypse because he doesn’t need to be. He feels bad about relying on his parents, but you would too if you had his kickass parents.

He knows how to keep Vincent safe! Vincent is taken out at least once a week, mostly to see Jas. He misses her a lot. Sam likes to see Shane, too! He misses working with his buddy, even if his body was a grouchy alcoholic that waved him off whenever Sam got within ten feet of him. Good times.

Sam really wants things to be normal again, so he tries to stick with Alex whenever he sees him out. They’re good at fighting, but Sam is very chatty and often gets distracted by other things.

Other things are usually Abigail waving out of her window and whisper-shouting for Sam. Sometimes she’ll whip out the Samson!!! just to get his attention. It usually works. Alex will take a minute just to tease him.

Sam either survives until the end of the apocalypse, or dies about halfway through while on his many night trips to see Sebastian and Abigail.

Sebastian

Apocalypse? He doesn’t even know her.

Sebastian’s life is literally the exact same. Aside from hearing less people upstairs, nothing has changed about his life. Demetrius is upstairs working on a cure or something (Seb tuned out the second he started talking) and Maru goes off with Harvey sometimes.

He heard Robin say something about building a wall or something to keep the zombies out. He wasn’t planning to help very much, seeing as the others mom and some other villagers wanted to help out. Really, the only place the zombies are coming in is through the tunnel for the bus, so if they block that off, they’ll be fine.

Sebastian is more focused on other things. Like staying in contact with Sam and Abigail to make sure that they’re still kicking. Demetrius doesn’t let anyone outside of the house, so Sebastian sneaks everywhere, whether it’s outside to go smoke or to see his friends.

He’s pretty good at fighting, though. He can defend himself a whole lot better than Sam, who he thoughts would have more experience. They both thought his video game theory was true because they’re both dummies.

Those few times where Seb does get out of the house, he’s like a zombie killing machine. It’s too bad he’s doesn’t do it very often. He’s good at sneaking around, too. Those years of tiptoeing around the house to avoid his stepdad yelling at him are really paying off.

Honestly, the whole apocalypse could end and the zombies could dissapear, and Sebastian would have no idea. He'd still be down in the basement, messaging his friends and working on his coding.

Or, for a worse ending, zombies could storm his house, saving him for last, and he wouldn’t know until it was too late and he was surrounded by a horde.

I think Seb would end up surviving, though. He’s not necessarily good at the apocalypse, he’s just good at avoiding it.

Shane

When Shane thought about sobering up, he never imagined he’d have to do it like this. The apocalypse is pain in the ass for him.

He stays with Marnie and Jas, rarely leaving the property. He doesn’t like being holed up inside for so long because then he’s just alone with his thoughts, so Jas keeps him going most of the time.

As much as he hates to admit it, he misses his old life. He hated being employed at Joja, but it gave him something to do. And yeah, he misses his annoying coworker. Lucky for him, he gets to see him one a week when Sam and Vincent pop in.

Shane can act like he’s annoyed all he wants, but now? It’s he apocalypse. Why should he be so bitter?

I’m not going to say that the apocalypse changes Shane’s attitude, but he definitely has some revelations about himself that he wouldn’t have had under different circumstances.

Shane doesn’t like fighting zombies. Not as much as Alex does, anyways. But he still helps him out if it’s ever necessary. Shane is infinitely better at defending than he is attacking. He makes sure to keep the zombies away from their house, and the town in general.

Sometimes, Marnie will ask him to deliver stuff to Leah’s house, or Sam’s since they’re awfully close. It feels like a job to him, so he actually enjoys it. He’s surprised to see Elliott at Leah’s and immediately assumes they’re banging. He doesn’t ask any questions, though. He doesn’t care.

Shane probably ends up dying after a tiny mistake that could’ve easily been avoided. He doesn’t see it as that bad, since Jas is still safe. That was all that mattered to him, really. He either dies after a few months, or an entire year into the apocalypse. Either way he does not go down easily.

I would like everyone to know that I wrote these thinking that Lewis holes himself up in his house and does not help anyone out, so they kick him out and elect Alex as mayor. It was a silly thought I had, but then I just went with it.

Alex for Mayor 2020.

It’s not necessarily like, an official position, but they all kinda trust Alex to protect them, so he just assumes the position. He’s not the smartest, which is why Penny was elected to be Vice-Mayor (Alex’s words). They do a good job running the place.

Anyways that’s all! Hope you enjoyed! Sorry this took so long, it was a lot to write hah.

[lovelyblogtime]

The ginger challenge

so as I was driving home, my friend messaged me about a fb post about a thicc and sexy shane, which somehow got me thinking about speedrunning stardew, which got me thinking about this challenge. So it goes as follows:

The farm looks amazing just the way it is, overrun and full of nature. So you decide to keep it that way. You don't care what happens in the cave and you decide to leave any ruins where they are. And eventually you know you're going to upgrade your cabin so you can live in luxury while viewing nature from the outside world.

So how do you make money? Thus the challenge.

1. You can't do anything with your farm besides choosing what goes inside the cave and upgrading your cabin. So no cutting down trees, no planting crops, no cutting down the grass, and no coops/barns. If you choose the beach farm, then you can only keep one package, then rest have to be thrown away.

2. Anything outside the farm is free game. No cheating though. So you can plant crops anywhere that's possible in town or around the mountains. You can put anything anywhere as long as it doesn't disturb any npc (because they'll end up destroying it anyways). You can use the merchant near Marnie to your fullest desire.

3. You can't decorate the house except for a tv and a calender. Any chests you want to put down can only go into the cellar or outside the farm area. Your spouse is allowed to decorate the house any way they like and you can't change it.

The main goal is to 1) open Ginger Island and then 2) Either finish the community center or go the joja way

Ginger Island has to be opened first (cuz that's the name of the challenge), since it's the only land you're allowed to farm on until you finish the main story of the game. Only then can you use your original farm.

So its basically a minimalistic game of stardew done in reverse since we usually finish up the town and stuff before opening ginger island.

Anytime you accidently break the rules, you have to buy the most expensive thing at the traveling merchant and then throw it away.

Anyone can try this challenge and if you do, pls tag me on here or on twitter as @sjluver and use the tags #sdvgingerchallenge