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noosayog · 1 year ago

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003 the grudge

✧ wc: 4.1k

✧ warnings/content: itoshi rin x reader, no gendered pronouns used but lease lmk if I missed any! sfw, angst to fluff (hopeful ending), arguments and lots of swearing. another fic where I project bc of messed up things my old romantic partners have said to me, hope y'all enjoy!

✧ GUTS masterlist, regular masterlist

divider from @/cafekitsune

“How come you never ask me how my day is?” you ask. It’s quiet, like you’re scared of how he will respond. But you can’t help it. Every day, when Rin comes home from practice, you’re there to greet him at the door. You always have dinner ready no matter how tired you are. And every day, Rin grunts. On a good day, he gives you a peck on the cheek. On bad days, he throws his gym bag down and heads straight for the bath. Then, he comes to sit at the dinner table and eats silently.

Just once, you’d like him to ask you how your day was. Maybe come home with flowers or a cake from the neighborhood bakery occasionally. You wouldn’t think it too much to ask, but the years of this routine make your question your every thought. You start to forget that being in a relationship shouldn’t consist of you walking on eggshells every day.

Rin looks up from his meal, swallowing before responding, “because you always tell me whether or not I ask.”

It’s a reasonable response. But it’s cold and callous. Not the answer you were looking for.

“But why can’t you just ask?”

He cocks his head. Confused, not annoyed.

Not yet at least.

“Why would I? If there’s something you wanna tell me, just say it.”

“I just want you to want to ask sometimes. Makes me feel less like I’m forcing you to listen to me.”

“You’re not.”

“I know, but that’s not the point.”

“So what’s the point then?”

You recognize the change in his tone. He’s starting to become irritated.

“The point is that I just want you to show you care sometimes. Without having me to ask you to do it.”

“Jesus,” he mutters under his breath, but you hear it loud and clear all the same.

“Is it that unreasonable for me to ask that of you?”

“Fine. How was your day?” he grits out, forcing a smile that looks more like he’s baring his teeth at you.

“Rin, this isn’t what I want.”

He puts his chopsticks down loudly. “You just said that’s what you wanted. So I’m doing it.”

“Not like this, Rin,” you say frustratedly, not sure how else you can communicate. “I just want you to want to be here with me. Act like you’re my boyfriend and that you’re happy to do it.”

“I wouldn’t be here, living with you, if I didn’t. What else do you want from me?”

It’s condescending and patronizing. It makes you feel like you are being the childish one here.

“Is it so hard that once in a while, you do something extra to show it?” you ask, voice small. “Like getting me flowers or even surprising me with a treat from the bakery I like?”

Rin runs a hand down his face, not even bothering to hide how foolish he thinks this conversation is. You feel the sting behind your eyes start to build.

“If you want flowers and a cake or something, just tell me. I’m not a fucking mind reader. How would I know you want those things unless you tell me?”

“I’m not saying I want flowers or a cake specifically. But-”

“Then what do you want!” He's yelling now. “I’m telling you I’ll buy the damn flowers if you ask. You’re always expecting people around you to read your mind. Use your fucking words!”

At that, you shrink away, closing in around yourself as you recall the phone call between the two of you months ago, having very much the same conversation.

“You always expect the people around you to read your mind. Why don’t you use your fucking words when you want something?”

That’s unfair, you think. In every other situation, you would agree. You do have a problem with communicating what you want. You know that. But should you really have to ask to have Rin tell you he loves you once in a while? For him to just show he cares by taking initiative and doing something nice for you? To want him to want to do something for you, even as simple as asking how your day was when he gets home without you having to ask?

But your insecurities get the best of you and objectively, he’s right. You answer in a small voice, “Sorry, Rin.”

There’s silence on the other line and for one second, you think that he’s going to apologize too and the floodgates would open and you two would open up and share everything that’s been building up.

Instead, you hear a click. Rin had cut the line.

When you have nothing else to say, Rin stands up, storming towards the bedroom, muttering, “Jesus, you’re always like this. Don’t start an argument if you can’t finish it.”

The bedroom door slams.

–

Rin is used to silence, prefers it actually. He gets enough noise from the daily racket the Blue Lock team makes. So at night, when he comes home to you, he appreciates the way you let him be. He’s content to sit there, listening to you talk quietly about your day. Your voice is a soothing one in comparison to the rowdy, grating ones of his teammates.

So when you ask him to take initiative to start the conversation sometimes, he’s uncomprehending. Your daily routine is fine as is; don’t his nods and noises of acknowledgement show that he’s listening to you? He gets enough nagging from Isagi and Bachira to talk more; he really doesn’t need to hear it at home too.

He can’t understand what it is you want him to do, because you were the one who strong-armed yourself into his life, persistent in trying to converse with him at the coffee shop you both frequented, until he finally asked you out on a date. You were always the one to initiate conversation.

So when you propose change to the relationship dynamic, Rin feels like you’re throwing a big wrench in the cogs that seem to be working perfectly fine.

After a long, hot shower, Rin goes back into the bedroom, expecting to find you curled up in bed. Rin isn’t worried. Regardless of whether you were still sulking or ready to go back to your usual self, he knows from experience that he just needs to reach his arms out and you would be eagerly pushing yourself into his side of the bed to get as close as you possibly can.

But when he enters the bedroom, the room is empty and the beddoor he slammed shut before remains closed. It’s then that he hears some shuffling in the living room, a couple of muffled sniffles and the quiet click of a door shutting. That wasn’t the sound of the spare bedroom door. That’s the sound of the front door.

Immediately, Rin bolts out to the kitchen. There, he finds all the dishes cleaned and put away, the dining table wiped down. You are not to be found.

Waves of frustration wash over him again. If you were going to be so upset about this, why won’t you just come find him and tell him? Rin thinks you could not have proved his point from your earlier argument any better than just up and leaving in a tantrum.

He should call, he thinks. If it were him, he’d just prefer space, quiet, and some alone time, but knowing you, he thinks you’d appreciate at least a gesture.

No, he rethinks. Just give them some time to calm down.

Pushing down the wave of worry, he slumps onto the couch, telling himself you’ll come home soon. The seconds drag by like hours so he puts on game footage to rewatch to pass the time. The seconds do not pass by any quicker as he continues to glance at his phone between plays.

Finally, he can’t handle it anymore and dials your number. The line rings once, twice, then he hears buzzing from the kitchen. Rin walks towards the source of the sound and finds your phone on the kitchen counter. It sits there, the buzzing continuing, mocking him.

Rin lets it ring for a couple of moments longer before he grabs a coat and bolts out the door.

Stupid! Who leaves without their phones?

It’s well after sunset and dark outside. Even if the two of you live in a nice neighborhood, you should know better than to wander around by yourself after dark. Without your phone no less.

How long has it been since you’ve left?

As he runs by all the convenience stores in the area and the minutes go by without being able to find you, his irritation at your irresponsibleness morphs into guilt. He should’ve come out much sooner to find you, shouldn’t have let you cry by yourself. Now you’re out somewhere, crying all alone on the night streets of Tokyo. Irrational panic wells up in his chest at the thought of someone taking advantage of your vulnerable state.

When he exhausts all of his options, he sighs, knowing the only place left unchecked is one of your friend's places. The same friends who he knows dislike him. The same ones who think you can do better.

He reluctantly pulls out his phone to give your friends a call; if they pick up, he’ll come get you and the two of you will go home together. But the first thing that greets him is a text saying you’re fine and that you are indeed at a friend’s place to crash for the night. Unsure of where that leaves him, he returns to your shared apartment.

And as Rin sits with the sterile kitchen and unusual quiet of the space, for the first time ever, he really contemplates the idea of you finding someone better. He dimly remembers a similar conversation the two of you had, perhaps over the phone a while back? Through all the years he has known you, he supposes it is a habit of yours to want things without vocalizing them. Like the times the two of you are watching a movie together and you look between his cup of tea and the kitchen until he gets the hint to go make you a cup. Or when you’re eating together and you stare at his plate until he spoons some of whatever he’s having into your waiting mouth. Rin’s not too sure how those unremarkable situations are different from what happened at dinner tonight.

And while Rin has never minded taking care of you and learning all the ins and outs of your body language, he’s realizing that these little things that rarely register in his mind may have been snowballing in yours.

But on days when he comes home, totally spent from practice, he acknowledges that he won’t be able to put the effort into fulfilling your unsaid desires. And that’s almost every day.

So as he sits on the couch, visualizing a life of yours without him, he thinks it might be for the best. He waits at home for you. When you come home, the two of you can have a mature conversation about a future where you are with someone who can make you happy.

–

It’s late morning when you return home, unsurprisingly but not unexpectedly finding the apartment empty. Rin has gone to practice.

You berate yourself for even wishing for one moment that Rin would have skipped practice to wait for you.

You suppose it’s like all your expectations of Rin: things piling up that you wish he would do but you never ask him for.

You busy yourself cleaning, reading, watching TV, napping. The day passes by painfully slowly. You finally hear the click of the front door right as you finish preparing dinner – an elaborate meal of Rin’s favorites as your way of meeting him in the middle.

You greet him at the door and after he takes off his shoes and drops his bag, he meets your eyes. There’s no detectable expression; he doesn’t look particularly surprised, upset, nor happy to see you at home waiting for you.

What he does do, however, is walk up to you and pull you into his arms.

His gesture overwhelms you. It’s not exactly what you’ve been asking for, but it’s enough. You sniffle lightly into his jacket. He just holds you and you let him – it’s precisely what you want and need.

After a while of the two of you simply standing together in the entryway, your arms around his waist remain tight as you ask, “what are you thinking about, Rin?”

He’s silent but squeezes your shoulders.

A smile overtakes your lips. That’s when you remember you had prepared dinner for him. This seems like an appropriate time to offer it up as an apology, but Rin doesn’t seem to be ready to move.

You let go, intending to lead him to the dinner table, but even as your arms unwind from around him, his hold remains tight.

“Rin?”

“I’m thinking about how I’m going to let you go.”

You freeze.

Rin doesn’t say anything more. He lets the words hang in the air and no matter how long the two of you stand there, the words don’t change.

“I thought you came home to make up with me,” you say.

Rin still refuses to let go. “I’ve thought about it,” he says quietly, slowly. “I think I finally get what you want from me. But I can’t give you that. I can’t be different and that might mean that I can’t be what you want. At least not in an emotional partner.”

You shove him away. “You don’t know that! How can you know what I want! I never-”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. I don’t think I can give you what you want without needing you to ask for it. And I think you deserve someone who can.”

You shake your head, different tears rearing to make an appearance. “You said it yourself, Rin. You’re not a mind-reader. I know I have to do a better job of telling you when I…”

He shakes his head too.

“No, I don’t think you’re asking too much. I think you’re completely right. But I can’t do it. There’s definitely someone else out there who can do it for you.”

“If it’s not too much to ask, then why can’t you try! Why are you just giving up? You’re so unwilling to try that you’d rather break up?!”

You’re hysterical at this point. Rin’s calm demeanor just makes it worse.

“I love you,” Rin says solemnly. “but I can’t keep hurting you like this. Especially when I know I can’t change.”

Rin says every word deliberately, with finality. Every word drains more and more fight from you.

“Cant? Or won’t?”

Rin only meets your gaze steadily.

There are no more words, no more fight you have left. What more can you do but say okay?

–

For Rin, everything has gone exactly as he had expected. He would go even as far as to say that the night the two of you agreed to break up, he slept dreamlessly. He went to practice the following day and performed just as usual. He had dinner alone, but he’s no longer in a position to wonder where you spent dinner and so he cleans up and showers and falls into another fitless sleep.

It’s only when the weekend comes around that something starts to stir.

As agreed, you decide to move out despite Rin offering the apartment to you. It was a strange feeling when you had told him the apartment had too many memories for you to remain in it alone. He has never thought of it that way before, associating a tangible thing to an intangible feeling, unless it was a soccer ball flying into a goal.

Sae had come over to help you move out.

During your years of dating, Rin was aware that you and his older brother got along well. While your friendship with his brother had never really bothered him, he had also never considered you closer to Sae than he, himself, to Sae.

So he finds it uncomfortable that Sae is the one helping you leave.

But despite his initial reservations, the morning goes by uneventfully, the two brothers packing your things away into boxes.

After lunch, you decide to join Sae to pack your half of the kitchen while Rin takes the bathroom. It takes him less than 30 minutes to separate all your items from his, a variety of colorful bottles and jars that he’s never touched. It takes even less time to pack them away into one single plastic container.

Something strikes Rin in the gut when he realizes how easy it is to pack years into a single box. Unable to shake the punching feeling in his gut, he picks up a bottle of lotion that has been untouched by either of you for years to ask if you’d like to take it. He could care less about the lotion but he needs to walk away from the unfamiliar sight of the sink now only decorated with a sparse scattering of his grey-tone products.

When he turns the corner to the kitchen, he sees you sitting on the counter, dictating items for Sae to grab from the cabinets. The domesticity between the two of you in his home makes the punchy feeling he wants to run from punch harder.

He watches Sae point at a matching set of mugs, ones that Rin remembers easily. He surprises himself with how easily the memory of those mugs resurfaces: a vivid image of the two of you in a home goods store picking your first couple’s mugs. You shake your head and Sae moves to the next items in the cabinet. Rin’s gut wrenches at how easily you make your decision to leave those mugs behind.

The next items are a set of glasses the two of you had bought as a souvenir on a weekend trip to Osaka. They weren’t matching, one of the glasses littered with various cute images associated with Osaka and the other with only printed lettering of “Osaka” on it. Despite the contrasting designs, he remembers you putting the glasses that each of you individually picked out together and squealing over how they look like a matching set. He didn’t understand then but as he watches you direct Sae to pack the glass with the cute images and leave the glass with the simple lettering, he starts to understand. His glass gets left in the cabinets.

When the cabinet has been picked and chosen through to your liking, Sae moves over to where you’re sat on the counter and offers his hand to help you off. You take it and hop off. The scene that unfolds next is what finally makes Rin realize that the uncomfortable feeling in his chest is akin to that of a heart attack, no, even more pedestrian – jealousy.

He watches as your expression crumbles and you bury your face into your hands. It hits him that it’s the first time he has seen you cry after the breakup. And on instinct, he begins to walk to where you are to offer comfort, but it’s Sae who wraps one arm around you and runs his hands up and down your arm.

It strikes Rin then.

It's one thing to think about letting you go be with someone who is the partner you deserve.

It's another to actually do it and see it. It's another thing to go through with it.

And the most jarring realization today is that maybe Rin is more capable of what he had originally thought. Maybe he can’t read your mind, but the years of being with you, living with you, loving you, has taught him that he can understand you without needing you to say anything.

Like right now. Sae has one arm around your trembling figure, pulling you into his side, but what you really want is someone who will wrap both arms around your shoulders. You’d push your damp face into the nearest neck or collarbone when one arm comes up to cradle your head. You’d whimper when the one holding your nuzzles their face against your hair. It’s muscle memory.

For both you and him.

And just like that, Rin changes his mind.

He charges onto the scene.

“I’ll take it from here.”

–

“I’ll take it from here.”

Sae lifts his arm from your shoulder, but by instinct, you cower, stepping behind him, just enough to hide your face. It takes you a few seconds to pull yourself together, school your expression to face Rin. When you look up, you find that the brothers have come to some sort of silent understanding, Sae nodding and patting your head before vacating the apartment, leaving you and Rin and the thick haze of tension.

Sae forgotten, you swipe messily at your face one last time for stray tears, playing it off as wiping the sweat from your forehead.

You turn back to the cabinets, busying yourself by reaching up for the remaining mugs. “We almost finished the kitchen. I just need to go through a couple more cupboards and…”

“Hey.”

You feel him before you hear him. Rin is all up in your space, one hand resting on the counter to your left, caging you against the counter.

“Stop,” his commanding voice tells you.

You turn around.

“Can I take it back?” he asks.

You fluster.

“Oh! Um,” you respond, voice startlingly loud. “The mugs? Which one did you want to keep? I didn’t mean to take-”

“Not that,” he stops your rambling. “Can I take what I said back? About breaking up. I want to take it all back.”

He pries the mug from between your fingers and sets it back into its home in the cupboards.

“What does ‘take it back’ mean?” you squeak out.

“It means I don’t want to break up anymore.”

Your mouth moves faster than your brain.

“You can’t just take a break up back.”

“So how can I do it then? I’ll do anything.”

“You can’t!” you raise your voice then. “You just… can’t.” the last word uttered as a whisper.

“Yes, we can. Tell me what to do. I’m sorry. Sorry. I know you do a lot for me and I thought I couldn’t do that for you. But I know I can. I can do it better than anyone else. So please, let me take it back.”

“Do you even know what we were arguing about in the first place? Do you remember that one time, so long ago, you said the same thing to me over the phone? To use my fucking words? Well maybe you don’t, but I remember every word.”

“I remember,” he says honestly. “And I’m sorry I said it that way. So much that it hurt you. So much that you still remember the exact words I said to you. But I don’t need to read your mind.

“Though I would like you to tell me explicitly what you like sometimes,” he adds thoughtfully.

“But, I’ve loved you for long enough now that I don’t need to read your mind to know what you need. Maybe I won’t always know what you want, so I’ll still need you to tell me sometimes, but I always know what you need.”

A lot of the things Rin says are very matter of fact and this is no different. He knows before you do that you’ll give in.

He closes the small distance and pulls you into a tight embrace. It’s enough to open the floodgates.

“Do you even know how many hours I’ve spent practicing arguments against you in my head? In the shower, in the car, when I’m getting ready for bed? You can’t just say a few sorry’s and think it’s enough.”

“Mhm,” he nods, cradling your head in a way you know he knows makes you the most vulnerable.

“I make you feel so guilty in my imagination. I don’t want to feel like that anymore,” you sob.

“Yeah,” he says, continuing to stroke your hair.

“And you can’t talk to me like that anymore.”

“I won’t,” he promises.

He lets you soak his shirt with tears and after what feels like hours, you finally bring your hands up to clutch tightly at his shirt.

“So how was your day?” he asks.

You pinch his sides. “Not now, idiot.”

You hear him chuckle a bit, the vibrations against your body comforting. He continues holding you, though, just the way you know he knows you like.

#noos writes #blue lock angst #blue lock fluff #bllk angst #bllk fluff #blue lock x you #blue lock x reader #bllk x y/n #bllk x you #bllk x reader #itoshi rin #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin x you #itoshi rin x y/n #rin itoshi #itoshi rin fluff #itoshi rin angst

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pleasantphantomhologram · 1 month ago

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Pairing: Jason Todd x Y/N

Warning: NONE, PURELY FLUFF <3

Summary: Adulting as a girl in this shitty world means that every single bare minimum thing that your soon to be boyfriend/crush did is such a treasure for you. You easily impress by this type of man because all men in your life including your dad are very shitty. But, with Jason Todd, your new boyfriend, everything has changed and HE teaches you more than that.

A/n: hey bare minimum gurl, how is your day lately? Yes, i am still on my holiday, and I want to write this things that happened around me. Yes, many of my girlfriends are having a boyfriend, but they are easily impressed by all this bare minimum act that their boyfriends did. All i could say is… please don’t ever settle for bare minimum, gurl. You deserved so much more 🥰

Being a girl is hard. That’s the only fact that you know since you are in school and now an adult working woman who has lived in Gotham city for almost 3 years. Yes, you are working so hard to be here, and now all of your hard work is paying off. You are a copywriter for some big agency here. It’s not that you are having this ‘Sex and The City’ dream, at some point you hate your job, but at least, the pay is not bad and you can afford this small studio apartment with your furry pet, a british shorthair cat named Zach.

It seems that your life is perfectly fine, but, of course it’s not because you are just a girl. You love reading romance novels, it’s like an escapism of your sometimes shitty boss. You have this certain type of favorite trope and dream boy, but, in real life you are very easy to impress by the bare minimum thing that every bumble match guy does to you.

You have many ex-(shitty)boyfriends, and there are also shitty crushes and it seems you never learnt from your previous relationship. But, when you meet this 28 year old man named Jason Todd from one of the parties that your friends held, everything seems different.

He is not just asking about how’s your day, or how he is always checking you out (and you are not even in a relationship yet!), but every once a week he send you a bouquet of your favorite flowers (He asked you this when you two were on your first date).

On your second date, Jason, who initiated everything, he researched the most favorite cafe to go on a date and made a list of what to do after that. He did bring you to your favorite book store and said he knew this information because he saw your Instagram story gushing over new books here.

“ To be honest, I know that you like this place because I saw your IG story a week ago.”

“You remember that?” Y/N asked with a disbelief tone. It surprised you that this man remembered the nonsense IG story that you made sometimes.

“..Shit, am I wrong? So, sorry I don't know if it made you uncomfortable.” he said.

“No.., no, it is fine. It is just… No one besides my friends is paying attention to my nonsense IG story.” You said.

“It is not nonsense, I think you are just being you and that’s cute.” You blushed at his words. Damn you Todd, she cursed in her heart.

At the end of the date, Jason Todd took you to the front of your apartment and said that he is so happy to spend time with you and surprise-surprise he said…

“Hei, Y/N i.. uhh, i like the way our conversation goes from the first time we’ve chatted, and… uhh, can we take this to another level. i … I like you. a lot, actually. and this is my first time that i felt this. And.. I don't know what’s the best time to ask you to be my girlfriend? shit, is it too soon?”

You can’t help but giggle a bit, oh my why he is so cute.

“Jay…, I like you too.” You confessed to him.

“Really? But, I think I just did the bare minimum things the guy did. You deserve more than this. Okay, I will show you how a man should treat his partner more than bare minimum.”

From the moment he told you that, you two were in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Every weekend he visits your apartment and bring your favorite snack and food, and snacks for Mr. Zach! The first time he visited your apartment, he even steals Mr. Zach attention with his charming smile. For your information, Mr. Zach is not like you, he is hard to impress by humans, but with Jason, everything seems easy for him.

“Hello, who is this gentleman? Wow, he is so majestic.” Said Jason.

“His name is Zach.. he is..” You are stunned a bit when Mr Zach is already on Jason’s lap purring over him.

“Oh my God. he never does that to any stranger.”

“Well, I think Mr Zach approved of me as your boyfriend? Right, Mr. Zach?” Zach kept purring on his lap.

If your cat approved of this man, how can you not melt on his hand then? You thought, you will fallin so hard to this man, and you don’t even know if you will recover if you two break up.

True to his word, he always shows youi how much he care about this relationship. He posted about you on his instagram and never try to hide his relationship with you. he is fuckin smitten with you. When he is at your apartment he always listens to your rambling like…

“Guess what..” you said

“What is it babe?”

“You remember Samantha, the project manager that I told you about..”

“The girl you said is so useless and not very helping.”

“Yes…. Today someone found out she is the mistress of our Art Director.” Jason gasped with an excited tone.

“No waaaaayyyy..”

“Yes waaaaaay.. I can't believe that the tea is boiling.” you chuckled. Jason smiles at you.

It feels so natural the way this dynamic with Jason, he always listens to what you say, he genuinely cares about you, and you just realize that this is how it feels to be loved by someone.

----

He likes to spoil you rotten, you are totally his queen and he doesn’t stop to show how much he loves you. Every little things he did always made you melt, like for example that time when the weather is getting cold, he always remind you to wear your jacket and when he pick you up from your office, he always make sure that you wear your jacket neatly so that you don’t get cool when he takes you on his motorbike.

“Wait, let me fix your jacket first.” he said.

“It is already good.”

“It doesn’t hurt to check again.” he smiled at you. Ugh, you love him so much.

When you two are officially one year together, He asked you if you want to move in with him to this apartment that he newly bought. It’s an apartment with three bedrooms and one of the room he designed to be your mini library and cozy place to read with a big sofa on the corner.

HONESTLY, YOU WANTED TO SCREAM AT THIS POINT, IS IT A DREAM?

“You are lying right?” You asked with a disbelief tone.

“No baby, it is the truth. I am so sorry if this is too sudden. I.. I just want to be with you and wake up next to you every single day of my life. But, if you are still not ready yet, it’s okay baby, you can just visit it whenever you like.” He said while caressing your face. Now, you are totally crying.

“Oh my God, Jaybird you are totally peace of shit,” and then you kiss him and hug him.

“Okay.. I will move in with you.” when he heard the yes, he is smililng widely and kiss her again.

“Thank you, Y/N. Thank you for bring so much happiness to my life.”

“Jaybird, I love you too.”

#jason todd x reader #DCU #dc comics #dc universe #jason todd #Jason Todd x Your Name #JasonTodd #fanfiction #DC Fannfiction

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dixons-sunshine · 8 months ago

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Drunken Love—Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Summary: A few coworkers from your job as a teacher invited you out to a bar to celebrate the beginning of summer vacation. You brought Daryl along with you, and it also happened to be the first night you saw your husband drunk—and it was a hilariously sweet to experience for you.

Genre: Fluff.

Era: Pre Apocalypse.

Part of the Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams AU, but can be read as a standalone.

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol, intoxication.

Word count: 1.2k.

A/n: I don't really like this, but I wanted to get this done. I have another young!Daryl fic in the works that will be much better than this (hopefully). This was just a filler to make up for my lack of actual writing.

“To the beginning of our few months of freedom.”

“I'll salute to that, Chloe.”

“Hear, hear!”

You laughed and brought your beer bottle up to clink with those of your coworkers, before taking a swig from the bitter yet delicious liquid. Your coworkers and friends—Derek, Chloe and Aubrey��invited you out for a rare get-together to just unwind and relax. The evening summer air calmly blew into the bar whilst some song played on the jukebox. Earlier that evening, your husband had disappeared to play a round of darts with your friends' partners—a singular round that turned into more than just one—and he was surprisingly having fun, and so were you.

“Mhm,” Derek hummed in approval as the taste of the drink flowed down his throat. He placed the glass bottle down on the table before leaning back in his chair, a contented sigh leaving his lips. “This is the life. No worries, no having to get up early tomorrow morning, nothing. We're free.”

You laughed and shook your head. “You're saying it as if your job is a death sentence.” You took another sip from your beer. “Do you hate working with the little kiddos, Derek?”

“Not at all. I love working with those kids.” Derek leaned forward, as if sharing a secret with all of you. “It's their parents I have beef with. One cheek kiss from Matt and bam, I'm trying to corrupt their kids.” He rolled his eyes in annoyance, grabbed the bottle again and took another swig from it. “I'm happy to be free of those judgemental, two-faced bitches for the summer. Matt and I can enjoy our lives for a while.”

“For what it's worth, at least you'll always have us to back you up.” Aubrey pointed the bottle in Derek's direction in a half salute. “Consider us your wing women. As long as you have us, those bitches won't stand a chance.”

“I'll drink to that,” you voiced. Another toast happened, filled with laughter and friendly chatter. “So, do you guys think—”

“Y/N!”

At the sound of your name being called, you turned around in your chair and saw your friends' partners approach the table you were sitting at, your husband being helped by Julian, Chloe's fiance. You raised your eyebrow questioningly at Matt, who had called your name. “Yeah?”

At the sound of your voice, Daryl perked up and stumbled out from under Julian's helping arm, sluggishly walking over to you. “Peach, hey.” He leaned down to hug you, almost tripping over his own feet. “Missed ya so much.” He hiccupped once, his arms never leaving their place around your body.

You shot an unamused look at Matt, Julian and Pierce, but you were met with amused laughs and equally drunken stumbling. You shook your head and sighed, downing the last of your beer and standing up. You wrapped and arm around your husband to steady him.

“What the hell did you guys do to him?” you inquired questioningly.

Matt shrugged and made his way over to Derek, leaning down and wrapping his arms around his shoulders from behind. “A game of truth or drink happened. Not our fault your husband chooses to be so secretive.”

“Ain't my fault y'all ask such damn invasive questions,” Daryl hiccupped defensively.

You chuckled and shook your head again. You turned towards your friends again, about to reach into your bag to grab some money to pay for your drinks, but Derek waved you off. “It's okay, I've got it. Just get him to bed.” He stopped and looked up at Matt, shaking his head with a small laugh. “I have to do the same as well.”

You laughed and nodded. “Thank you. See you all next time?” Everyone sent you their own greetings, and with that, you walked out of the bar towards Daryl's truck. On the way to the vehicle, your husband almost tripped over his own feet, eliciting a loud, amused laugh from you. It was rare for you to see Daryl even a slight bit drunk in your presence, so seeing him in this state was a bit amusing. As long as he didn't hurt himself or others in this intoxicated state, you wouldn't be mad at him. He deserved to let go every once in a while.

The drive back to the apartment was spent in relative silence, save for Daryl's hiccups. However, the same couldn't be said for the trek up the stairs to your apartment. Daryl kept stumbling and swearing every time he almost fell, and you couldn't stop giggling at him. When you finally reached your apartment, you gently pushed Daryl to your bedroom and tried to help him out of his vest, but he protested and pushed your hands away.

“Baby, what are you doing?”

“Dun' call me tha', and keep yer hands to yerself,” Daryl grumbled, slowly starting to unbutton his vest himself. “I have a girl already. M'sure yer nice and all, but I ain't interested.”

You laughed lightly in realization and shook your head fondly. “Well, at least I know you're loyal, but I never doubted that to begin with.” You walked forward again and gently cupped Daryl's cheek, his foggy blue eyes meeting your eyes. “Babe, it's me.”

Realization dawned on Daryl, and he gave you a lopsided smile. “Hey.” He turned his head and kissed your wrist, his kisses trailing all the way up your arm until he reached your collarbone, and then your neck. “So damn gorgeous. M'the luckiest bastard on the planet.”

You giggled and gently pushed Daryl away before he could kiss you. “Slow down, cowboy. There won't be any of that stuff tonight.”

Daryl slowly nodded as he allowed himself to be pushed onto the bed, barely noticing you prying his boots off of his feet. “Righ'. M'sorry, Sunshine. Didn't mean to make ya uncomfortable.”

You smiled at him and shook your head, sitting down next to him on the bed. You gently treaded your fingers through his hair, a contented sigh leaving his lips. “You didn't make me uncomfortable,” you began softly. “It's just not the best idea to do that right now. You're drunk and I don't intend on taking advantage of you like that.”

“Ya wouldn't,” Daryl denied, closing hi eyes under your gentle touch. “I wanna make ya feel good.”

“Not tonight, okay?” you gently urged him, continuing your gentle caress through his hair. “You need to sleep. You're gonna need it. You're gonna be so hungover tomorrow.” When you didn't get a response from your husband, you frowned and looked down at him. “Dar?” A light snore came as a response, eliciting a fond chuckle from you. “Goodnight, love.” You sighed as you stood up, shaking your head with another chuckle. “You're really gonna hate yourself for getting drunk when you wake up.”

That was the understatement of the century. Luckily, Daryl had you, his considerate, beautiful wife who loved him beyond belief, to help him get over his hangover. And if the price of having you take care of him was some light teasing about his drunken state, so be it.

©dixons-sunshine 2024. I do not give permission for my works to be copied, modified, adapted or translated to any other site or platform without evidence of my given consent.

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kanmom51 · 8 months ago

Text

This one is kind of personal and a lot mushy

(And as I'm writing this, a bit of a rant as well)

*Be advised.😅

Been a bit.

Well, I was kind of busy. On one of those 'once in a lifetime' trips you take to celebrate a big one, this one being my 30th wedding anniversary.

And while I was on this trip (and I am sure to share some pics, cause why not, seeing we got some spectacular ones) I got to thinking about Jikook. Because, who doesn't think about Jikook on their 30th anniversary trip, right?

Let's be real for a sec. Who doesn't think about Jikook ALL THE DAMN TIME?

Obsessed much?

Hell yeah!!!😂

Proudly admitting it!!

Look at those two:

Can you seriously blame me?

Nah, but seriously.

I couldn't help but think about who I am, where I've come from, how my partner and myself came to be, our love and respect for each other, how we fought through everything life swings at you and how our love not only survived all of it but seems to have flourished even more. I can honestly say that I love my husband today even more than I did when we got married. It's a different kind of love. A mature love. A love that survived many trials and tribulations. Some you know of when you tie the knot but many more you don't expect.

And thinking of us I couldn't help but think about those two young men and how they met, what brought them together, how they connected, how they have been through so much together, the hardships, the struggles, the amazingly good and the terribly bad, all making their bond even stronger.

There are those that cannot fathom how 2 young beautiful talented men could be in a committed relationship when they have this whole smorgasbord of beautiful people just wanting to lay a hand on them. Everyone wants a piece of them and here they are in a committed relationship with each other? A long term committed relationship? How ever could that be?

When you love someone to the core, which is exactly how those two feel (people can deny it all they want, but it won't change the facts, these two have chosen each other every single time over anything and anyone else), when you get to know that one person and fall deeply in love with them, know their ins and outs, know their flaws and issues, seen them at their best and at their worst. When they are happy or sad, healthy or sick, elated or furious, and find them attractive through and through, still want to be by their side.

No.

Need to be by their side.

Want to be there when they are happy, share their joy, but also be there when they are sad or down and stand by their side to support them through it (even with and despite all those flaws and issues and difficulties that at times can also infuriate you and basically make you want to ring their necks at certain points in time) there is no love (between partners) deeper than that.

I do know, we all should, that what they experienced and how they are living cannot be compared to us regular folk. Their circumstances are such that they have to deal not only with an industry and society that deems them as 'wrong' (that includes a big chunk of their own fandom btw), but also a lifestyle that is nothing like the one we know or have experienced. The hours, the cameras in their faces close to 24/7 (up until their break and hiatus and even prior to that during the pandemic - which btw is one of the reasons people have gone mad at that point given we stopped getting an influx of BTS content for such a long time), growing up and maturing in the limelight, enjoying the fame and exposure at first and then fighting for privacy and 'anonymity' when you realize there is a price to that fame. None of us have experienced that. Yes, we can find the similarities and by extension make conclusions about them, but at the same time we always need to remember that their lives are different than ours and that we cannot always hold them to the same standards of behavior that we are used to in our own lives and relationships.

This is beside the point that every relationship is different. I will just say this. A healthy long term relationship is built on 2 or more (I ain't judging) individuals that stand as their own person and chose to be with the other/s. They don't necessary have to have the exact same interests or likes. What they do need is to love, respect, trust each other and understand that part of that is allowing your significant other to do what they love, even if it means doing it without you. Even if it means doing it with someone else. You all know where I'm getting with this right? Going out with others, travelling with others, drinking with others, spending time with others, choosing to spend time alone without your significant other, none of them diminish from your relationship if indeed it's building blocks are solid. And brace yourselves (well, those that are in long term relationships know this already...), but all of the above actually helps maintain your relationship. Can make it better and stronger.

I've been lurking a little on SM, even while away, only to find that once again, or should I say still (surprise surprise... NOT) there are those that are doubting the bond that these two young men have. It's solos and cultists trying to create an alternative universe in which JK and JM are not close and even distanced (some would love for them to actually hate each other - good luck with that psychos). Or it's once again those insecure 'Jikookers' that seem to need that constant affirmation from a real life queer couple that most certainly will not be giving them that. I keep asking myself why is it that a couple like JM and JK need to constantly prove they are together (all while they actually can't come out and say it due to their circumstances - industry and society they live in), when a heterosexual couple, say Zendaya and Tom, for example, are not expected to? How come a blurry clip (which I still say is fake) released at a very suspicious point in time, together with other obviously edited clips and serious claims of misconduct that are clearly made up and were intended to cause JK harm, have more of an impact on them than years and years of interactions, talk, actions (including just before the clip was released and after it as well)? And now another blurry clip that people are going all crazy over. Like seriously, what is wrong with people? Is the lack of content driven them mad? No drama so we need to create it? Well, thing is that when you are in a healthy committed long term relationship there is not much drama. That's the way it is when you are settled and happy and know who you are and who you love and know that they feel the same about you. Arguments, disagreements, bad days - sure. That's life. But at the end of the day if people want drama they should go watch one on TV.

So, how do I put it to make is as clear as possible?

These insecurities we get from some of the fans, they work like clockwork. Every single time, in the past, when we didn't get much from the two there were these whispers and question marks regarding their relationship. Not even if they are still together, but down to the core of their bond, as to even question if they are close or friends. This phenomenon goes way back.

But since end of 2021 beginning of 2022, when they were on their break and later the hiatus into 2023 it blew up like a full on hydrogen bomb.

This got worse after they were assigned their own 'personal' IG accounts and went on their break.

The misconception by many that these accounts were somehow their private accounts that they use to interact with each other, I can't call it anything other than delusional. Sorry not sorry. And if people did not realize that themselves if only from the lack of posting or interaction with whoever, then we had the members themselves telling us that they regularly interact within their own private chat groups. That photos shared on IG with us have been previously shared with the others in those groups. These IG accounts were created to maintain contact between the members and their fans, knowing that the group is going into hiatus and that they will each be promoting their own individual solo projects. Yes, the group Twitter (X) account could be used for that, but there was an attempt to create a more 'personal' connection between each member and Army. These accounts were work, as simple as that, and them reacting to other members or talking with each other through these accounts was not an indication what so ever to whether they were in touch or not otherwise.

At the time, back in early 2022, when people were reeling over the lack of interaction between the two on their IG accounts I tried to explain that a. not seeing something most definitely does not mean it's not there (something those two made sure to prove time and time again over the past couple of years), and b. that the lack of interaction can actually be an indication to them spending most of their time together, as there is no need to comment on another's post when you are right there to tell them whatever it is you want to tell them to their face. Not to mention, and this part is all me, so take or leave it as you will, but some of said IG posts, well, how do I put it? I guess I just say it as it is... some of these photos posted were either taken by the other or they were right there or really near by when it was taken. There. I said it. In any case, the fact that these were the only two not to interact with each other in front of Army's face, out of the whole group, that, to me, meant they were the ones spending most of the time together.

Oh, and let's just address the whole fanservice stupidity surrounding those two once and for all.

If they were all about fanservice, how is it that since that during the break in 2021-2022 and then during the hiatus and their solo endeavors, we were robbed of said fanservice? Wouldn't you expect that the fanservice couple, the scripted couple, be pushed during each other's promotions? How is it that we have seen during these periods of promotions every single other coupling other than JM and JK. Even JK visiting JM during his rehearsals was heavily edited. How come, if we are being sold a fake bond? No JK being forced to go visit JM when performing at the music shows. No JM being forced to do the same with JK. JM paired with Suga for an add for Busan (? that one was really an odd one for me). When did we see them? So yeah, people can scream fanservice all they want, but deep down inside they know it's a crap claim. I won't even go into JK's lives. There was not one ingenuine bone in his body, and that excitement seeing JM's comments, that coquettish behavior while interacting with him (especially during the bed live, OMG!!!), the reactions to the JM centered content he CHOSE to watch during those lives, none of that is scripted nor acted. It's all JK. All him. And JM's reaction when JK shows up at his documentary viewing live, that little butt wiggle in his chair (reminds me of Bam when happy to see his dad/s, as shown by JK), the face lighting up, the genuine worry on his face talking about JK working hard (during another couple of lives), again, not faked.

So yeah, not fanservice.

I digressed, I think.

Let's get back to 2022 why don't we?

On their break these crazy stories of heartbreak and breakup and hate and suffering and god knows what, only all to be thrown out of the window as soon as we got to see the two together again during the Seoul concerts and then LV. Oh LV. That was a wild ride.

Then BTS went on hiatus and the solo era began. And we were getting less and less ot7 content, and once again the insecurities. These ups and downs (you know, the whole JITB party stories about them not being together - that was countered by the BTB that followed a while after), then Busan concert's high, then 2023's downs and ups and downs and ups and fruck it all, I'm sea sick from this stupidity.

Same exact stories were repeated in 2023!!!

Especially after THE CLIP "which shall not be named" dropped.

SAME EXACT TO THE T STORIES!!!

But again, I digress.

Insecurity regarding the two and their bond (seeing they aren't in the public eye) followed by realization that everything is as it was (if not even better and stronger) once we see them together again. And the reason we don't see them together while on break... wait for it... is because they are a private couple living their everyday life, not for the cameras, not for Army, but for THEMSELVES.

Who would have thought.

And when they are together, as in working together, either filming or shooting or performing, well their bond can't be hidden, as much as they might have to wind it down at times (which is mainly not when they are on stage hyped up on adrenaline, lol), seeing that this is still Kpop, with fandoms that feel ownership over them, not to mention them being a queer couple. You know. All the usual reasons.

This idea people have that these two owe us something. That they constantly have to prove their bond, their connection, their relationship. What utter bull.

Anyway, what a slap in the face (for some a good wake up call, for others a well deserved one) the news of them choosing to enlist together was for so many.

Bottom line is, repeated for the millionth time, that these two young men have shown us time and time again that when push comes to shove they will chose one another!!!

I feel like I'm all over the place here. Came to talk about my trip and ended up talking about fanservice and insecurity and god knows what. I guess it's the jetlag (yeah, let's go with that and blame it on the jetlag).

In any case I will go with my favorite saying as of late:

Why this whole long word vomit, you may ask (or you might not ask, who knows, lol)?

What the hell does this have to do with my trip?

Nothing...?

Probably, lol.

But I am going to try to connect the dots. Even if they did make sense in my mind when I first started writing this post and no longer do...

How about the fact that the two chose to take these trips together?

See how I did that? Connecting the unconnected?

Not even going to ask the egg-chicken question here, as I am quite positive it was always about the trips and the show/content for army was the excuse that allowed them to travel 'for work', and a little bonus of content for army when they are away - not to mention perhaps even an opportunity for a soft outing, who knows.

They wanted to spend this time together before enlistment.

We know of at least 3 trips. Connecticut, Jeju and Japan (the Jeju trip may or may not be part of that 'show').

We are yet to know what exactly this 'show' will be. Will it be an actual show, style BV or ITS? Will it be a Vlog? Will we be getting actual episodes or several minute clips? But one thing for sure. Whatever we get, it will be a drop in a lake of the time they spent together. They went on these trips to be together. They shot this 'show' to allow them to be on these trips. This 'show' will give us a glimpse, no more than that, of what they got up to while together. Bottom line - it's about them, not the show and definitley not us.

So yeah, tripping together (lol, as in traveling, just felt like using that fun word, which can mean so much more as well) is something couples love to do, and going on said trips prior to a huge life changing event (let's be real here, going into the military for 18 months, especially knowing that to be able to enlist TOGETHER, they will be placed in one of the harsher units and environments, knowing that even though they will be together they most certainly will not have the freedoms they enjoy prior to enlistment), well that is something they would do as well.

To sum this whole rant up:

I came here to show off some pics from my trip...

If Jikook are allowed to (and god help them all if we don't get that show eventually...), then so am I...

The scenery...

And the wild life

So there you have it.

I managed to talk about my trip and about Jikook all in one long ranty post.

To those that managed to work their way through it I have this to say:

#jikook #kookmin #minkook #jungkook #jimin #jk #jm

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hyunjinners · 2 months ago

Text

✧:･ﾟTill death do us part → Ginji Kyuma x reader ˚₊· ꒰🥀꒱

꒰ 命 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ꒱┊After Arisu defeats the King of Clubs' team, you believe that even after so much slaughter, you deserve at least a dignified farewell.

꒰ 命 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ꒱┊Ginji Kyuma x fem!reader

꒰ 命 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 ꒱┊angst, main character death, no happy ending.

꒰ 命 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ꒱┊mention of death, blood, trauma.

꒰ 命 𝐖.𝐂 ꒱┊1,03k

꒰ 命 𝐀/𝐍 ꒱┊ This is a SUPER old chapter I wrote, and I only just realized I never posted it here on Tumblr. Hope you like it! Just a heads-up, English isn’t my first language, so sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes. Happy reading! (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)

⊹₊˚ʚ❛masterlist❜ɞ

─── Damn, it seems like Kyūma messed up.

One of his bandmates mutters with an apparently frustrated sigh upon hearing the screen announcement that points had been exchanged. You don't really pay much attention to what your friends are saying to one another. Instead, your thoughts are consumed by where all of this is heading and the fact that you must find Kyūma—at least one last time.

Your body moves before your brain can catch up, running as fast as you can because you know your final moments depend on this. You're breathless but don't stop, tears blurring your vision and making it harder to see.

Running for your life had become routine at the Borderlands, but now, more than ever, the tightness in your chest, the rapid thudding of your heart, and the sweat dripping down your forehead somehow fuel your determination. You need to find him because you know he would want to be with you in his final moments, too.

After all, he promised you.

Like that day, before all this started, before the Borderlands mercilessly invaded your lives.

You were sitting in the tiny apartment you shared, more specifically on the balcony. Kyūma was perched on a chair, jotting down a song for his collection of potential tracks for future shows, while you lounged comfortably on a beanbag at his feet.

You observed every detail about him, every expression. You thought his love for music was beautiful, how it consumed his life in a way that seemed to give him a kind of freedom. You adored his dedication—like now—his brow slightly furrowed as he assessed some lyrics, his hair falling lightly over his face, or the way he pushed it back in that effortlessly attractive manner. You loved how he rested his notebook on one leg, which was crossed over the other and bouncing cheerfully to a rhythm only he could hear in his mind.

“I love this, you know?” you murmured with a smile, not wanting to break the calm atmosphere.

“What exactly?” he asked, glancing at you with curiosity, showing his usual interest in your thoughts and feelings.

“How passionate you are about everything you do. Whether it’s being an amazing boyfriend or even just little things like writing a good song for the band. I love that about you.”

He smiled shyly, something that only happened when he was around you. Normally, he was someone who wasn’t afraid to show how he felt when complimented, but with you, he got nervous—maybe because of the effect you had on him.

“Oh, my love. You’re making me all flustered now,” he replied playfully, laughing with you.

He lowered his raised leg, placing the notebook on the small table beside him, and gestured for you to sit on his lap, which you did. He cupped your face, pressing a sincere kiss to your lips, as tender as could be. His lips felt like a comforting embrace, a place where you could relax without fear. He pulled away, leaving one last kiss on your forehead, gazing into your eyes with care and affection, wishing he could hold this sight forever.

“I want you to know that you’re my greatest joy. My passion, my partner, my love. I’m in love with everything about you because I want to be with you and take care of you until my last breath. Keep this promise in your heart,” he said, holding your hands and pressing them against his chest. “I’ll love you until my last breath, until the last beat of my heart. I want to spend my life with you, even when we’re old and gray. But if that doesn’t happen, just know that every particle of my being lives for loving you, my darling.”

When you finally reach the shore where the ocean comes into view, you anxiously scan the area for Kyūma. You spot him quickly, standing beside a tall man you recognize as Arisu. Your breathing falters as your eyes meet Kyūma’s. He smiles at you while walking backward away from Arisu. You’re just a few steps away from them, so you sprint the remaining distance to him.

You stand face to face, Kyūma still smiling as he gently wipes the tears from your cheeks. The two of you join hands, and with his free hand, he cups your face, kissing you with both urgency and care. The kiss is short but profound—like every goodbye when it’s time to part. He pulls away, stroking your hair gently.

Kyūma turns to face the ocean, and you follow without hesitation. He lets go of your hand for a brief moment, raising his arms as he breathes in the cold ocean breeze one last time. You watch him, closing your eyes and sighing deeply as you smile softly.

─── I don’t regret anything.

His voice is calm, carrying the weight of everything left unsaid.

─── I had a good life with the band and the love of my life. It was incredible… Thank you. For living it with me until the very end.

He turns to you, pulling you into a tight embrace. You press a kiss to his neck, silently returning the sentiment.

─── Thank you, Kyūma... for always loving me.

A deafening noise comes from above, followed by a bright red light descending from the sky. In that instant, both of you are swallowed into the vastness of the blue ocean.

Arisu watches, his legs trembling as he witnesses the end of a love that lasted as powerfully as time itself, ending with nothing more than a game.

─── …I’m so sorry.

He covers his face with his hands, tears streaming down uncontrollably.

ε ї з — like × reblog! by: @hyunjinners ❜ɞ

ε ї з — taglist: @oc3anfloor

#ginji kyuma #ginji kyuma x reader #ginji kyuma x fem reader #kyuma x reader #kyuma #kyuma x fem reader #ginji kyuma alice in bordeland #ginji kyuma aib #kyuma aib #kyuma alice in bordeland #king of clubs #king of clubs aib #kyuma king of clubs #ginji kyuma angst #ginji kyuma fluff #kyuma cute #kyuma angst #kyuma one shot #ginji kyuma one shot

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holylulusworld · 9 months ago

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Indecent Proposal (18)

Summary: Your boyfriend wants to be part of their empire. You are the pawn he’s willing to sacrifice.

Pairing: Mobster!Stucky x fem!Reader

Characters: Jake Jensen

Warnings: established Stucky, caring mobsters, pregnant reader, fluff, polyamory, mentions of past partners/affairs, mentions of suicide, mentions of accidents

Indecent Proposal (17.2)

Indecent Proposal masterlist

“My show,” Jake grins. He adjusts his glasses and clears his throat. This is the moment he’s been waiting for. He dreamed of becoming a permanent member of their crew. Jake knows this is his only chance to prove his worth.

“Jensen, we don’t have all day!” Bucky grunts. He can’t wait to get back to you, and the babies in your belly.

“Alright!” Jensen grumbles. “Rumlow is damn good at hiding his secrets. There’s not much I found out about him until I dug a little deeper…or a fucking lot deeper.”

“Jake, we are losing our patience here. Did you find something or not!” Steve slams his fist onto the table. “We need to know everything about him!”

“Do you remember a woman called Dolores Donovan?” Jake dips his head to watch Bucky’s reaction. The mobster wrinkles his forehead.

“She was one of our lovers,” Steve helps his husband out. “I think it was three or four years ago. She was a little too clingy and wanted you all for herself.”

“Oh,” Bucky nods. “That one.” He frowns deeply, recalling their last encounter with Dolores. “Didn’t she try to stab you?”

“Yup,” Steve laughs. “She wanted me dead because I was the one keeping you from falling deeply in love with her. I barely made it out alive.”

Bucky deadpans. “Steve don’t be a baby about it. She used a nail file, not a deadly weapon!”

Jake watches the two men bicker about nail files and her past lover. They laugh and joke while he tries to get their attention. “Guys, you wanted answers. Do you still want them, or can I go home?”

“Huh-sure,” Bucky clears his throat. “Go ahead. Tell us more. Why did you mention Dolores? We haven’t heard of her for years. She stabbed Stevie and left town.”

“She didn’t leave town,” Jake points at the manila folder on the desk. “Dolores drove too fast and rammed a tree. She was dead before the ambulance arrived. According to the police report, she rammed the tree on purpose.”

“Suicide?” Steve wonders. “Why? Because Bucky didn’t want to run away with her? We told her from the beginning that our affair would only ever be physical. Back then, we weren’t looking for a permanent third.”

“Well, I can’t tell you about her reasons, only what the police report says,” Jake opens the manila folder to show Steve and Bucky a picture of Dolores, their former lover. “She was a pretty girl. I get that Brock Rumlow was obsessed with her.”

“Rumlow???” Bucky and Steve say in unison. They look at each other and then at Jake. “What has that bastard to do with Dolores? He wasn’t even in town when we had an affair with her. She was just another girl we fucked.”

“He was her ex-fiancé. I told you that I tried to find out more about his past,” Jake huffs as it seems they do not appreciate his hard work. “According to my investigations, Dolores left him and the sleepy little town they lived in to find a new life in the big town.”

“Let me guess,” Steve sighs deeply. “He heard about the accident and came here to find out what happened. Rumlow read the police report and knew something must’ve happened. He decided then, that it was our fault because she couldn’t handle a sex-only relationship.”

“You summed it up,” Jake nods, and points at the next pictures. Pictures of Rumlow and Dolores before she left him. They are both smiling and look happy. “I guess he snooped around and found out that you and his ex-fiancé had an affair. He counted one and one and decided it was your fault she died.”

“If you look at it from his side, he’s not wrong,” Steve sighs deeply. “If anything happened to you or Y/N because of some guy, I’d kill them too.”

“Steve, we told her that we only want to fuck her,” Bucky yells now. He shoves the manila folder off the desk and sneers. “I’m sorry that she couldn’t handle the end of our arrangement, but she could’ve walked away that first night. We didn’t drag her out of the club and into our bed.”

“Buck—”

“It’s true! Woman. Men. They are all over us all the time,” he’s not done. Bucky grits his teeth and snarls. “If they agree to become our plaything, they know what they get themselves into. We never made any promises.”

“We made promises to Y/N,” Steve softly says. Bucky barely loses his composure, but if he does, he’s almost feral.”

“And I intend on keeping every single one, Stevie,” he narrows his eyes. “I hope you want to keep them too.”

“Of course!” Steve hastily says. “I’d never abandon Y/N.”

Bucky pants heavily. Steve must run his hand over his husband’s back to calm him. “I’m sorry Dolores died. She was nice until she tried to ruin our marriage. I really liked her.”

“We need to increase security. If that bastard wants revenge, he’ll go after Y/N,” Steve worriedly looks at his husband. “We must protect her and our babies at all costs.”

“He could go after you too, Stevie,” Bucky cups Steve’s face. He presses his lips to Steve’s, savoring the moment. He closes his eyes, praying he won’t lose any of you. “I was the one rejecting her advances, Steve. It’s my fault if he hurts one of you.”

“We both wanted her, Buck. This is not your fault,” Steve pecks Bucky’s lips. “We couldn’t know she was having issues. I feel sorry for her too, but this doesn’t mean I will allow Rumlow to fuck with us.”

“Agreed,” Bucky murmurs against Steve’s lips.

“I got more,” Jake clears his throat. His cheeks are flushed from watching Steve and Bucky kiss. “Do you want to hear more?”

He watches Steve and Bucky bark orders at their men. They increased security. He curses because he missed his chance.

The little rat had to sniff around and find out about his past. Well, this can’t be helped.

He will get his chance. After all this time, Steven Grant Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes will pay for what they did.

Indecent Proposal (18.2)

Tags in reblog.

#bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #stucky x reader #female reader #stucky x female reader #pregnant reader #Indecent Proposal (18)

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everlastingdream · 9 months ago

Text

part 1-part 3

"What did you just say?" Enid felt her ears flattening against her hair. "Who's not gonna live past 25?"

"No one", Wednesday deadpanned, even if her eyes shifted to her mother for a split second.

"When did you start lying, Wens?" Enid squinted, trying to stay still even if inside all she wanted was to shake Wednesday with all her might.

"Querida, tell her", Ms Addams intertwined firmly. Enid nodded. Just a couple of times, really. Absolutely not trying to put her thoughts in order even a little. Wednesday paused contemplating.

"Then we'll excuse ourselves, Mother", with a deep sign she stood up, shaking off comforting hand Ms Addams tried to offer her.

She silently walked past Enid, not meeting her eyes, fully expecting her to follow. And Enid did. Like every damn time.

They settled on the bench in the backyard. Enid - restless and worried. Wednesday - rigid but tired.

"Why did you eavesdrop?"

"Don't even try to guilt trip me into changing the subject!" Enid jumped to her feet. "You just said you won't live past 25! And that you were my soulmate! Which is- is that even real? Like, okay, if your mom said so, then probably, but-"

"I said, you were my soulmate. I'm not yours", Wednesday's calm voice shut Enid up. But her friend (soulmate?) still wasn't quite meeting her eyes.

"And what's the difference? If I'm your soulmate, shouldn't you be mine as well?"

Enid told Wednesday many times to show her emotions even a little. But seeing her so sad and defeated was heartbreaking.

"It's not like that for the Addams family", her voice was cold and empty, just stating facts. "Almost every Addams has soulmate. Look at my parents, perfect example. We say, that it's because no one would want an Addams without such a bond", Wednesday chuckled, which in itself was unnerving. Enid really wanted to hug her right now.

"But in every generation, there is couple of 'extra' Addams. This is people without soulmates. Like Uncle Fester. He's amative, but he'll never feel such devotion as my parents".

"So..? I think he's very much past twenty five", Enid croached in front of Wednesday, trying to gauge if she'll allow physical contact. She slowly took her hand, rubbing small circles into her ice-cold skin.

"There is one more case. People who has 'one-sided' soulmates. And these people all die young", Wednesday's dark eyes was full of longing and pain. Enid found herself mesmerized.

"No one lives with their whole being reaching out to person to never find an answer. To see their perfect half happy with someone else. It destroyes your mind so then you can destroy your body in desperate attempt to end your suffering. This is what fate has prepared for me and something no one can change".

Wednesday was breathing heavily, not noticing how she squeezed Enid's hand to the point of drawing blood from the nail's marks.

"But why are you sure, that I..." Enid blushed, giving a little squeeze back.

"Enid, no soulmate of Addams is happy with another partner", Wednesday's oh so rare smile was the saddest thing Enid saw in her life.

#wednesday netflix #wednesday addams #enid sinclair #wenclair #what if i dreamt #the soulmate au #did i search for wolf habits? yes #do i regret it? no

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teenytinyjimin · 10 months ago

Text

too sweet (k. namjoon)

i’d rather take my whiskey neat,

my coffee black and my bed at three

you’re too sweet for me,

you’re too sweet for me.

summary: in which kim namjoon is their husband. nothing more, nothing less. their beautiful, delightful, wonderful husband.

pairing: namjoon x reader

word count: 1.1k

tags: genderless main character, get over it. domestic!joon, incredibly loving!joon, domestic fluff for sure, marriage!au

warnings: none, maybe some strong/sexual language here and there

author’s note: this hozier song makes me think of domestic 9-to-5 namjoon so hardcore it’s painful </3 pls enjoy

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

“Shit,” Namjoon breathes out, throwing his head back and running his hands through his hair. It wasn’t uncommon that he found himself overwhelmed by his workload, but when these times came, they were unpleasant nonetheless. His impeccable work ethic and work mentality was something truly admirable because he would often get through these moments with ease, but even he himself could admit that it was sometimes too much to handle.

He stared blankly at the computer screen in front of him. His brilliant mind had unfortunately started an automatic system shutdown, so there was no way that he’d be able to finish what he was working on today. Glancing at the clock on the wall in front of him, which read 10:23pm, he sighed. Yep, it’s not going to happen. He was more than happy with admitting defeat and engulfing himself into the arms of his waiting spouse.

As he wandered out of his home office and into the living room, he saw his partner sat on the couch, cuddled up in blankets and focused on the movie they were watching on the tv. He approached the couch and took his spot next to them, manspreading and unbuttoning the top button of his shirt in the process.

“You’re done early,” His partner said softly, bringing a hand to his hair and brushing it adoringly. Namjoon sighed, closing his eyes and allowing himself to melt under his spouse’s touch. “Didn’t finish. Was too much.”

“Oh. ‘M sorry,” They frowned in response. “Let me go get you something to drink. What sounds good love?” Namjoon looked over to his partner, his eyes glazed with adoration. That was something he’d always love about them - they knew how to make him feel loved and appreciated through the small things. “Would you make me some tea, darling? The way you make it?” He asks softly, bringing a hand to their cheek to trace it gently. “I love the way you make it.”

A blush crept to his lover’s cheeks as they shyly nodded. Years of marriage down the road and Namjoon never failed to make them absolutely swoon over him. It was the Namjoon charm, a blessing and a curse all at the same time. They pressed a soft kiss to his temple before standing up and heading over to the kitchen to start boiling the water.

“What are you watching?” Namjoon calls from the couch. The truth is that he hasn’t yet looked at the television screen because the only thing he wants to look at is his breathtaking partner. The partner that he was lucky enough to marry, so was damn well going to take advantage of his luck by looking at them as much as humanely possible.

“Oh, just some animal documentary. I was trying to find something that I could fall asleep to just in case you were working extra late.” They called back in response. “Love, is decaf okay for you? Wanna make sure that you sleep well tonight.”

“Mm. Decaf is perfect. Thank you for looking out for me, dear.” At this point, Namjoon had moved from his spot on the couch to right behind his partner in the kitchen and snaked his strong arms around their waist. Resting his head on their shoulder, he closed his eyes and let out a hum. “You’re the best.”

“Is this why you married me?” They responded, letting out a small giggle. “For my tea-making abilities?”

Namjoon pulled back slightly, enough to where he could gently spin his lover around to face him. He rolled his eyes and shrugged dramatically. “Maybe a little bit. But also because you’re impossibly beautiful. And extreeemely sexy…” He trailed off, burying his face into their neck and letting his big hands start to roam.

“Kim Namjoon!” They scolded with a laugh, playfully pushing him off of them. “Stop it. Let me make your tea.” While they absolutely loved the feeling of their husband being all over them, they weren’t necessarily in the mood to entertain it. Let’s be honest, it’s almost eleven at night and they would’ve been asleep had it not been for Namjoon giving up on his work for the night.

“Oh right, you were making tea for me. Sorry, got a little distracted,” Namjoon joked, earning a playful swat from his partner. Allowing them to have a little space to do what they needed to do to make the tea, he backed off a little and decided to lean against the counter. “You know I love you, right?”

“You tell me every day. Multiple times a day,” They hum in response pulling out a spoon to stir the tea. “And I love you too, Joon.” Hearing the words come out of their mouth was music to his ears. A dimpled smile crept onto his face as he shyly looked away. “Jokes aside, I’m not sure what I’d do without you.”

“Probably be some boring, disgruntled businessman. I keep you from being an absolute robot,” His lover reminds him without missing a beat. “Not to boost my ego or anything.”

“No no, you’re right. Without you I’d probably be nothing except for my work.” With a smile on their face, they hand Namjoon the cup of tea and he smiles in return, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to their lips. “I know I already said this, but you’re the best.”

“I know I am,” They joked, reaching up to steal a second kiss from their husband. “Let me know if it’s missing anything. I tried to make it with extra love but got a little distracted so I might’ve missed something.”

Namjoon smiles softly as he takes a grateful sip of the tea. He stands in silence for a second as he ponders the taste of the tea, but very quickly comes back with a verdict. “It’s absolutely perfect. Just like you.”

“Good.” His lover blushes, satisfied with his reply. “Well, the least you could do is give me an extra kiss for my troubles.”

He raises an eyebrow as a smirk creeps to his face. “I’m not sure you wanna do that, darling. You know I’m more than capable of absolutely drowning you in my kisses.”

His spouse turns around, back facing him, and shrugs. “Maybe that’s what I want…” They trail off, beginning to walk away from him. Practically throwing his cup of tea onto the counter, Namjoon reaches out and grabs his partner back, pulling them into his arms and kissing them over and over.

As the night comes to an end in the Kim household, all that can be heard is a chorus of laughter coming from a married couple that never truly left the honeymoon stage.

#teenytinyjimin #bangtan #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts fanfiction #bts fic #fluff #bts namjoon #bts rm #namjoon fanfic #kim namjoon #rm fanfic #namjoon fluff #rm fluff #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #fanfic #genderless

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ashisill · 3 months ago

Text

Colorado woman

Warnings: (Abusive past relationship, past relationship trauma, illusions to sexual trauma,language, slight ptsd, drinking, smoking, and I believe thats all. If I missed any feel free to let me know)

Summary: Josh had given up on looking for a partner. After the last woman he swore he’d never love again. After two years of being alone his brothers started to believe him. They decided to take matters into their own hands. Lucky for them his dream woman awaits in Colorado … you.

: This is the longest fic I’ve ever written, so please give me a little bit to fix any mistakes!

“Let’s go out Josh. We can go to that bar Sam loves, and find you a partner. Or at least someone to fill that void”

“How many times have I told you? I don’t want a relationship. The last thing I want is to find someone drunk at a bar. Gross”

“Jeez Joshua look at you. You’ve lived at my house for two weeks now. Admit it your starting to get lonely and you don’t like it”

He laughed out loud “I’m not lonely I just don’t want to be stuck at my house all the time. Is that so bad?

“You have been sleeping in my spare room for two weeks. That’s a lot different than wanting to get out of the house for a while”

“I mean I’ll leave if your kicking me out” He laughed it off.

“That not what I’m saying Josh. Tell me what’s your type?”

“Don’t have one. I’m not like you Jake. I like to do my own thing. I wouldn’t be happy tied down to anyone”

“I’ve been doing my own thing for eight years, and my relationship is thriving”

“Well congratulations. That’s you not me. I promise you the last thing I want is a relationship”

“Then make it a fling, but for gods sake put yourself out there”

“You know I don’t see how this is any of your business or concern”

“I want you to be happy Josh, and I know that you’re not. You can brush me off like you always do, but you are lonely and it scares you. You know I don’t care if you stay with me, but you shouldn’t have to. You’re like damn near depressed all the time and that worries me Josh”

“Do you what scares me more? Getting into a relationship and everything being the same as the last one. I’d rather be lonely than risk having to feel like that again”

“Now was it that hard to open up to me? You’re not even looking. I’m not saying you have to jump into anything, but when’s the last time you’ve tried?”

“I have tried they just never work out”

“Josh you haven’t tried since … her”

“And so fucking what? You know what Jake but out. You’re not helping. All you’ve done is bitch at me” Jake just stared at him “what?”

“Josh” he placed a hand on his shoulder “All I’m trying to say is don’t give up looking. Don’t shut everyone out because you’re afraid. I want to see the light come back to your eyes. Because right now Josh I’ve never seen you so dull. Keep an open mind that’s all”

He sighed rubbing the back of his neck “Okay Jake”

“Do you think we should teach them more tricks?” Sam said to his girlfriend Hannah as they watched the dogs play in the yard. They heard the doorbell ring. “I got it last time” Hannah said.

Sam opened the door surprised to see who it was. “Didn’t expect you today what’s up?”

“I need to talk to you about Josh”

He took Jake to the backyard where they were sitting. “What’s up? Is he okay?”

“Sam he’s been staying at my house for two weeks. Not that I mind him there what so ever, but I worry for him. He needs someone new in his life. Hell at this point he needs a friend at least”

He looked at his girlfriend puzzled, and she spoke “he stayed at our place a few weeks ago. Sometimes he comes over for dinner as well”

“He’s scared because of that bitch. I hate her for everything she’s done to him”

“I mean I’m sure he is scared after all that. She practically abused him id probably give up for a while too”

“But it’s Josh the most loving person we know. He’s wasting all of his potential he needs someone. He’s not happy I’ve never seen his eyes so sad”

“You really wanna risk it again? We don’t know everything he went through in the first place. I think we just need to let him figure this out”

“It’s been almost two years Sam. He won’t do it himself”

“He’ll be fine we shouldn’t push him. If he gets hurt again it’s all our fault. I don’t want that guilt on my chest”

“I’m with Jake on this one. The last time Josh was over we smoked together. He got very upset, and was kinda spilled a lot to me. I promised him I wouldn’t tell, but Jake’s right I think he needs helps”

“That’s what I came here for thank you. Do we know of anyone?”

Sam sighed “There’s that one girl that we met at that festival”

“You want him with a junkie?”

“She wasn’t a junkie!”

“Sam honey you’re oblivious. I know someone that might be perfect. Only thing is she lives in Colorado”

“Josh always says he wants to live in the mountains. What’s she like?”

“Well she’s currently kinda in the same situation as him. Rough love life scared to move on. He would fall in love instantly. She’s beautiful”

“Personality?” Jake asked “she better be an angel”

“Just picture Josh, but as a female. I’d say she’s a more little outgoing than him. She reminds me of him a lot, but they are very different in their own ways”

“Good start” Jake said nodding his head.

“She very soft spoken. Overall she’s just a very kind hearted person. She’s the only person I know that would never hurt him”

“You’re positive she’s single?” Sam asked

“Yes she always says she talks to her dogs more than people. She lives alone, but says she hates being alone. She loves company because she doesn’t get it much living out in the mountains. I just know she would love Josh. They fit each other”

“Well you know it’s convenient that we’re off tour. How the hell are we getting Josh to Colorado?”

“I can talk to her. She would adore everyone coming out there. Let me see when she’s free” she stepped inside to make a phone call.

“Josh has always handled himself, but I’m watching him fall apart. He doesn’t act like himself anymore. He’s not content. When he’s home he’s pacing around the house. Or he’ll leave and distract himself for hours” Jake told his brother.

“I guess I didn’t realize how bad it’s gotten. He puts on a show for everyone. I suppose I wasn’t able to see through it like you did”

“The last thing I want is for him to get hurt again. He just needs his confidence back”

Hannah returned with a smile “everyone free next week?”

“Colorado?” Josh questioned picking at his fingers “why out of the blue?”

“My friend invited us to come stay with her for a week” Hannah said convincingly.

“Who’s your friend?” Josh asked perking up an eyebrow.

“Well her name is y/n, and I haven’t seen her in a while. She invited me and Sam, but we thought you guys might want to come”

“I don’t suppose I have anything better to do. Next week you said?”

Hannah got excited when he agreed. “Yes next week, and we will leave early that morning. This is gonna be so much fun!”

The air was cool, the green of the leaves was almost gone, and they were minutes away from arrival. A cozy little cabin in the middle of nowhere. Just you, and your dogs. You’ve spent the past week cleaning, stocking up on food, and preparing your house for guests. It’s not often you get them. Living so far away from everything your use to being alone. You would be lying if you said you weren’t beyond excited. You heard serval cars disrupt the once peaceful gravel road. Your dog’s ears perked up as you all headed towards the door. You hoped they wouldn’t be afraid of the large dogs that causally lounge around your home. You took a breath and opened the door.

“Why am I nervous?” Josh whispered to Jake.

“New place new person. Hannah said she’s a lot like you so maybe you’ll get along well”

“This isn’t a set up is it?”

He laughed “You think I would take you all the way to Colorado to set you up?”

“Yes … yes I do”

He sighed “well I didn’t. It’s just a trip Hannah invited us on. I know as much as you do. Just relax it will be fun”

He squinted his eyes at him “whatever you say”

You stood on the porch watching as they all unloaded from the cars.

“Y/n!” Hannah ran up hugging you.

“I missed you so much. I’m so happy you’re here!”

“This is Sam my boyfriend”

“I know you” you giggled “heard lots”

“Good things I hope. This is my bestie Danny”

“Hi Danny. Your hair so curly I’m jealous”

“Thank you” he laughed.

“This is Jake and his girlfriend” They waved at you, and you smiled back.

“And this is Josh”

“Oh” you paused “hello I’m y/n”

“Nice to meet you” he said quietly.

Maybe you were crazy, but you felt a connection. You known him for five seconds but you feel drawn to him. His fluffy hair that his fingers nervously ran through. His sense of style was definitely your taste. He was more soft spoken than the rest. You liked that a lot. He just had this air about him that made you want to know him.

You invited everyone inside, and you realized it was already late in the afternoon. You showed them around your place before the sun started to set. Everyone started to settle in and feel more at home.

“Very lovely place you got” Jake said admiring the cozy atmosphere.

“Thank you it’s Jake right?” You asked.

“Correct” he gave you a wink.

“I don’t wanna be that person, but where are we sleeping?” Sam asked.

“Sam don’t be rude” Josh corrected.

“No worries. So I only have one guest bedroom so the couples will have to fight over that” you laughed. “There’s an air mattress, and a couch”

“We call the bedroom” Jake shouted smiling at his girlfriend.

“Oh fuck you” Sam rolled his eyes.

“I mean he did say it first” Danny laughed.

“I promise the air mattress won’t deflate on you in the middle of the night. It was quite the investment”

“Then we call the air mattress” Sam said.

“I never mind sleeping on a couch. I’m used to it” Danny laughed.

Josh becoming worried “I guess I’ll be sleeping on the couch too?”

“No you’re sleeping on the floor Joshua” Danny said shaking his head. “No way in hell am I sleeping on a couch with you”

“Thank god I don’t have to share a bed with him” Jake said. “Tired of waking up with bruises”

“Rough sleeper?” You asked

They all laugh “absolutely. I used to be forced to share a bed with him when we were little I never got any sleep. He tossed and turned all night, and he kicks you … hard. Cons of being a twin”

“I’ve been slapped a few times” Sam said.

“I’m sorry did you say twins?”

“Yeah can you tell?” He joked.

“You know I can definitely see it”

“I don’t mind sleeping on the floor” Josh sighed

“Poor Josh” you said.

“Poor josh? What about the victims” Jake said making the room laugh.

“Well we can figure it out later. I’m not letting you sleep on the floor that’s for sure” you say to him. “Here’s the remote. Turn on whatever you’d like. Also there’s beer and stuff in the fridge” you said going into the kitchen to start on dinner.

Danny got up grabbing enough for everyone. You could definitely tell who the siblings were. As Jake and Sam bickered over the remote. Danny tried to intervene between the two. Which ended with a pissed off sam, and a cocky smirk from Jake.

Josh rolled his eyes, and walked into the kitchen. “Need some help?”

“Oh you don’t have to do all that”

“I don’t mind really” his eyes shifted to the potato’s lying in the countertop. “I could peel those if you needed”

“That would be lovely thank you”

It started out in comfortable silence. Only speaking to confirm he’s doing right. As he watched the sun set from the window his mind began to wonder.

“So” he cleared his throat. “how long have you lived in Colorado?”

“Well I visited when I was 15 fell in love, and I moved when I was 19. Been here ever since, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. You’re from Nashville?”

“Not by choice” he laughed “originally I’m from Michigan, but with the band and all. We had to move closer to the studio and stuff”

“How’s that all going?”

“The band? It’s been a lot to be honest. Rewarding, but exhausting. I’m just glad we’re on a break from tour”

“I don’t know how you do it every night. I can barely work without getting drained”

“You figure it out eventually I suppose. Knife?”

“Top drawer. What’s it’s like traveling the world, and playing to people every night”

“It never gets boring I’ll say that. When you’re up there looking out into the crowd. They love you with all their heart. It’s like they understand you in a sense. You can really feel the love up on that stage. It makes up for the exhaustion I suppose”

“That sounds beautiful. Maybe I’ll get to come to a show one day”

“So what made you invite everyone out here? Gotta be an adjustment from peace and quiet all the time”

“Oh it wasn’t my idea. I’m glad everyone came out though it’s nice to have a change”

“Oh? I was told something different wonder why” he thought it over in his head

“Well now I’m curious what you were told”

“The story was that you invited Hannah, and she invited us”

“She called me” you laughed hard. “That’s a silly thing to lie about”

He knew. He knew exactly why they lied. He knew Jake lied to his face in the car. Now that he’s met you he knows exactly why they’ve brought him here. You. Now he would be lying if his said his heart wasn’t skipping beats right now. Only now that he’s figured it out his nerves are shot.

“Good thing this cooks pretty slow so we can go relax for a while”

He followed you to the couch and hesitantly sat down beside you. His eyes shifted from the movie to picking at his finger, and back to the movie. He had scabs around his fingers from it. You could tell he was on edge a little bit. Something changed since your talk in the kitchen but you didn’t know what. He seemed nervous around you now. Although you couldn’t understand why you knew what might help. “Do you smoke?”

He nodded his head with a smile “me and Josh are gonna smoke if anyone wants to join”

You walked outside and a few of them followed. Passing it in a circle and making small talk. Josh took a drag off the joint and closed his eyes. Blowing it out and nodding his head. “Damn that’s good shit”

“Told you so” you laughed as he handed it to you.

“It’s so pretty out here. Wish I lived in the mountain” Danny said admiring the view.

“I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else” you said. “Shit I left my drink inside be right back”

“Jacob Tomas Kiszka” Josh said stern. “You brought me here to hook me up?”

“I already told you I wouldn’t-”

“I made the mistake of asking her. She said this wasn’t her idea to invite us out. Instead she got a phone call from Hannah”

“Josh listen” he said before Hannah cut him off.

“We were worried about you Josh. She’s in the same situation you are. Give her a chance”

“How did you know? How did you know we would click? Because I’ve never- I’ve never done that with anyone”

“I just knew”

They were quick to end the conversation when you walked back outside. You all stayed outside for a while passing the joint around. They gave you the last hit, and you threw the roach out into the yard. After everyone was done eating dinner the night started to get fun. Everyone had a good buzz going, and the house was lively. Josh started to come out of his shell, talking louder, and with more excitement. “My god you guys are funny” you went into the kitchen to make another drink. Josh followed you also needing a refill.

“Doing alright?” He asked you.

“Haven’t been this messed up in a while” you laughed.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m almost to your level” he smiled. “I never told you but-”

“Y/n holy shit! You got more weed? I feel fucking great” drunk Sam comes shouting in the kitchen

You laughed “go into my room and there’s like 4 laying on the tv stand” you paused waiting for Sam to leave. “Never told me what?”

“Oh never mind” he waved a hand in the air.

“But-”

“Y/n” Sam came back in tugging at your shirt. “Come smoke with us”

“Fine. Josh you coming?”

“I think I’ll set this one out” he smiled at you.

“Josh is sweet” you said sitting outside with Sam and Hannah.

“Oh he’s a sweetheart” she said.

“I can tell” you put the joint between your lips and lit the tip.

“Single” Sam said and Hannah gently smacked him. “What? It’s true”

“Oh”

“He’s been through a lot relationship wise, but so have you” Hannah said.

“Don’t let him fool you he’s not always that quiet”

“Well neither am I” you laughed “he seems nervous”

“I suppose he is” Sam said taking a hit “he has been just kinda down recently. Plus his ex kinda took his self confidence from him”

“I guess he just gets lonely a lot, and it’s catching up to him” Hannah said.

“I know how that feels” you said pointing to the mountains “it’s just me and my dogs out here”

“It’s got its perks I would assume” Hannah said.

“Oh yeah definitely” you stared for a moment “he’s cute”

“Think so?” Hannah asked excitedly.

“He has kind eyes. I like his hair it’s fluffy. He just seems so nice”

“All I’m gonna say is he’s interested”

Josh sat on the couch with his brother. “Has she said anything to you? About like me or anything?”

Jake laughed “no but I can tell she’s taking a liking to you”

“Oh definitely” Danny chimed in “how do you feel about her?”

“I dunno she just kinda has this glow around her, and I wanna be part of the light”

They looked at each other and started laughing “oh he’s in love Danny”

“She seems perfect for you. Gonna thank me or what?” Jake teased taking a sip from his drink.

“Yeah yeah whatever”

“So what move are you going to make? Let’s get this started right?” Danny asked.

“Yeah you’re funny. I’m done making the moves. If it’s meant to be then it will be”

They both rolled their eyes “well shit”

“Hi” you said slamming open the door. It was obvious by your state that you were pretty messed up. “Joshua. Can I call you Joshua?”

“If you’d like” he turned to look at you. You plopped down beside him on the couch.

“Joshua!” You shouted “I have an idea”

He jumped when you yelled his name. Laughing about how you startled him. “What’s your idea?”

You shuffle through your phone looking for a song. When you found the perfect one you jumped to your feet. “Wanna dance with me?”

He smiled, and he cheeks blushed pink. “I would love to dance with you.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, and his hands held your waist. “oh shit. I’m so sorry I stepped in your toes”

He smiled down at you “don’t worry about it darling”

“Darling? I like that” you laid your head on his chest. He danced you around your living room. By the time it was over almost everyone had joined. It was magical to see your house so lively and full of love.

“You made me dizzy” you giggled and sat down on the couch. Your head laid on his shoulder and you begun to get sleepy. Danny went into action being the dad of the group. Helping Jake as he stumbled into the guest room. He helped Sam blow up the air mattress, and grabbed blankets for everyone. He filled up a glass of water and sat it on Jake’s bedside table. Making sure everyone had a least a little water to drink before bedtime.

“What we gonna do about you?” You turned to Josh. “Want to sleep with me?”

“Good luck sleeping” Danny joked.

“Oh he won’t bother me I’m a deep sleeper. Nothing wakes me up”

“They’re not wrong. I don’t wanna hurt you in your own bed”

“Joshua shut up” Sam whispered.

You laughed at his attempt to help his brother “come on Josh”

“Are you sure I mean I-”

“Josh shut up” Sam and Danny said in unison.

You reached out your hand, and he grabbed it. He headed into the room “you’re room is cute”

“Thank you most the decor is diy or thrifted”

“They look amazing. Did you make this?”

He took interest in the large painting on the wall. You nodded “yes I love to paint”

“That’s so impressive. I love art myself, but I could never make anything like this”. He gently ran his fingers on the edge of the painting.

Your cheeks now bright red, and a soft smile on your lips “thank you Josh. I’m sure you could do better”

“Definitely not. I’m not really a painter. I design my own stage clothes. I sketch what I want it to look like, and then somebody makes it. I like it because it’s always exactly how I want it to be. I take inspiration from all kinds of stuff, and make it into one thing. It’s more than just an outfit really. It’s almost like another person when I put them on”

“Like each outfit is its own art piece? It’s like painting. When you’re in a good mood your art is going to distribute something completely different than if you were gloomy. The paintings are entirely different it’s almost as if different people painted them.”

“That’s exactly it! You understand” he smiles.

“Artists to artists of course I understand”

You let him look around a bit longer before excusing yourself to go change. When you came back he was still looking at the painting. He had pajama pants on with a white sleeved shirt. You tripped over your feet walking into the room. Stumbling around, and your vision was getting blurry. “Stumbling around a little. You okay?”

“Hmm” you reached for his shoulder to stabilize yourself. Without much thought he picked you up. Tucking you into the bed, and lying down beside you.

“If I hurt you or keep you up please wake me up. I don’t mind sleeping on the floor. I just-”

“Shh you’re not gonna bother me. Stop stressing about it. I can tell this is something people might have made you feel bad about”

“Yeah well try hurting the people you love and have no control over it”

A lazy finger pressed against his lip “shh don’t worry about it. Joshua”

You both laid there in silence trying to drift away. The silence was deadly, and you tossed and turned. Unable to fall asleep, and your mind raced about the man next to you. In a whisper you spoke “Josh”

Sleepy he replied “yes?”

“Can you hold me?”

“I would love nothing more”

When the sun started to rise you two were the last ones awake. Jake crept open the door worried you might have ended up on the floor. Instead he found you tangled up together. The sheets hanging off the bed, and he was holding you protectively.

“Sam come here … look” Jake said pointing at the two of you.

He poked his head through the door “awe they look so cozy”

“I wonder how long they’ve been like that”

“All he needed was a cuddle buddy I guess” Sam said.

You started to stir as the sun shined through the curtains. “Shit” they giggled and shut the door.

Josh’s eyes peeked opened to you lying across him. He closed his eyes for a moment taking it in. You were you wrapped around him tightly. One leg hiked across his waist, and the other twisted in his leg. Your arm laid across his chest, and so was your head. He was loving every minute of you. Wishing this moment would never end. However, you started to wake up. His grip was strong hopeful you wouldn’t move. You looked up at him and smiled. “Good morning”

“Good morning. Sleep okay?” He asked.

“I slept amazing. You?”

“Best sleep I’ve got in a while”

“Your so warm that’s probably why I slept so good. It’s usually freezing in here. I wasn’t all over you too much right?”

“Not too much at all. Been a while since well you know”

“Feels nice to be held. What happened to the sheets?”

“Not sure about that one”

His eyes were glowing, and his face had a smile you haven’t seen before. Dosing off a little bit with the warmth of his body. You’ve never felt so comfortable in your life. The sheets felt like honey on your skin. You wondered if you found heaven, or at least peace. You two laid tangled up together for at least an hour. Realizing the time you sighed, and climbed out of your side of heaven. The two of you stumbled into the living room. “Well good morning love bugs” Sam teased which resulted in another playful smack from his girl. “Leave them alone” she whispered.

“Checked for bruises?” Danny said.

“I don’t think he moved one bit. Except the kick the sheets off. Or maybe that was me” you shrugged your shoulders.

“Maybe all he needed was someone to hold” Jake said.

His face turned bright red and his eyes got big “oh my god shut up. How did you know that?”

“I have my ways”

“Creep” Josh rolled his eyes.

You giggled at him, and walked into the kitchen. You opened the container of coffee grounds and put it into the maker. Making a pot then going to your bedroom to get dressed. Jake and Josh were talking in the kitchen as they drank their coffee.

“So” he paused taking a sip “seems to be going well”

“Last night was the first night I didn’t wake up in the middle of the night”

“Is that why you’ve been up doing fuck knows what?”

“Yeah I’d wake up at like three in the morning and I could never go back to sleep. So I’d get up and start doing stuff”

“You’ve scared the shit out of me when I walk downstairs to get water, and you’re standing in the kitchen. You really gotta go back home bud”

“I know I know. Hey maybe I won’t have too” he joked.

“Gonna become a mountain man?”

Josh talks with his hands that’s very obvious. What he doesn’t do is pay attention to where his hands fly around. The conversation has peeked his interest, and when his hands flare out he hits the open container. Coffee grounds go everywhere. Josh’s face turns white, and he starts to panic.

“Oh fuck” he repeated over and over. “Here we go. It was going so good, and I’ve fucked it all up”

“Josh it’s just coffee grounds I’m sure she’ll understand it was an accident”

“You don’t understand Jake. Do you not fucking remember?”

“I remember, but she nothing like her. She won’t get mad I’m sure of it”

“I’ve ruined everything. Why am I like this Jake?”

“You haven’t done anything wrong. Josh you’ve been the best I’ve seen you in so long. Let’s not lose progress over coffee grounds …. Josh”

Still he panicked, hyperventilating, going into his head and -

“Josh how fucking stupid are you?”

“I’m sorry it was an accident I’ll pick it up”

“I just fucking poured that drink. You are fucking useless”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’ll clean it up”

“Why am I even with you? Your so damn pathetic”

“It was just an accident”

“Shut the hell up and pick it up. I don’t need to hear your whining”

“I’m trying but your yelling at me”

“Are you gonna fucking cry about it? Go ahead cry see if I give a shit Josh”

“Josh!”

“Huh?”

“Did you hear me? She’s gonna get the broom for us”

“You told her? Why would you do that? We could of figured it out”

“Josh breathe. Take a damn breath. I’m gonna say it again she’s isn’t like her”

“Oh no what happened?” you said walking into the kitchen.

“I’m so sorry it was an accident I’ll clean it up”

“Oh no worries. Shit happens” you waved a hand in the air.

“I’m so sorry I-” his fingers ran through his hair. Processing your response he looked at you confused “Wait what did you say?” he said softly.

“I said shit happens. I’d be a fool to get mad over something so small. Go sit down I’ve got it”

He looked at his brother confused. “You’re not mad? Why aren’t you mad? I spilled this everywhere”

“Don’t beat yourself up. I’m clumsy as hell. Always spilling stuff. Go sit down” you handed him his coffee cup “here. Go take a breath”

Josh exited the room, and you turned to Jake for some answers. “Jake” you whispered.

“What’s up?” He grabbed the broom as you held the dust pan.

“Is he okay? Why did he get so upset?”

He swept the grounds into the dust pan. His face shifted to an almost confused look. Then you thought maybe it was an angry one. But his eyes looked hurt, and watched him quietly.

He sighed “his ex is a horrible person. She treated him like shit, and made him feel bad when he made a mistake. I don’t know everything, but I know she did get physical sometimes”

“That’s horrible he doesn’t deserve that”

“No he doesn’t. There was a trip we were on and he spilled her drink on accident. She cussed him out, and called him all these names. He was cleaning it up and she kicked him with her boot. I got a little rough shoving her away from him, but it should have never happened. He stayed and I don’t know why. I think he was afraid to leave her. It was like an intervention I swear. We all sat with him and told him he deserved better, and we helped him break it off”

“But he’s so sweet how could anyone treat him that way? I want to fix this”

He sighed again, and you could tell something was weighing on him “can I tell you the truth?”

You nodded, and he spoke “your the reason we’re here. We thought maybe you two would hit it off. We were worried for him … very worried. Josh has always been the most outgoing person, and it hurt watching him fade. Hannah said that you were single, and it was just a hunch. We just wanted to help him. I’m sorry I don’t want to pressure you”

“So that’s why everyone lied to him” now it made sense. “I don’t click with people. There’s never been a person I felt instantly connected too. Except yesterday when I laid eyes on Josh. It’s been a day, but I’m glad you brought him here. We’re both wounded, and because of that I think we can heal each other. Thank you Jake”

You decided to put there plan in motion. You got up to find Josh “Hey follow me”

You went out the gate and started walking down a rocky path. He didn’t ask where you were taking him nor did he care. He watched as the dogs switched between walking beside you to scanning the area ahead. You never minded the dogs running off when on your walks. You got closer to the mountains and Josh’s eyes began to glow. You hiked down to the river. A deep spot that nearly looked like a pond. The mountain ran above it making the spot secluded. “Look at this place. It’s breathtaking”

“It never fails to impress me. The waters cold I don’t usually get to swim. I just come here to relax”

He reached his hands in the water “I mean it’s not that cold”

“Wanna get in then tough guy?”

He reached to remove his shirt “wait!”. You took off running and he ran after you.

You made it to the top of the smallest cliff. “Your kidding me right?”

“What? Are you scared?” You teased him.

“Maybe a little. Sure it’s deep enough?”

Rolling your eyes at him you asked “do you trust me?”

“I do”

You took your shirt off revealing a lacy white bra, and panties to match. He looked away quickly, but his face already turned red. “It’s okay” you giggled

“Sorry” he said with his eyes glued to the ground.

“Don’t be. Human nature ya know. You’re turn”

He removed his shirt, and stripped down to his boxers. You placed your hands on his shoulders grabbing his attention “Listen whatever we went through let’s try to move past it. I’ve been scared too Josh. For two years I was afraid of any interaction with a man. I could barely go places by myself”

“What happened? Only if your comfortable to answer”

“Started at a party my drink got spiked. I don’t remember anything or if anything happened to me. I thought it was because he like me so I started dating him. He would hurt me often. I thought it was normal, and I convinced myself he loved me. The cycle continued until my friends got me help. It was relationship after relationship, and it was all the same. That’s what I thought I deserved I suppose. I’m still in therapy and I continue to get better every day”

“I guess it was my first serious relationship. Or so I thought, but I meant nothing to her. I never dated much in high school. All she did was yell at me. I couldn’t spend enough on her. It was never enough. She would hit me and it’s not that it hurt that bad. It hurt more knowing she wanted to harm me. I loved her, and she wanted nothing more than to hurt me. My brothers got me away from her thank goodness. I’m also in therapy I never thought it would help, but it has. And I know I’m so awkward, but it’s almost as if I don’t know how to act. No one’s ever been as gentle with me as you are”

“We will heal together. This jump is us letting go”

You reach out your hand, and counted down. With no hesitation he jumped with you. Falling farther than he thought, and his body rushed with adrenaline. You both hit the cold water, and gasp coming back up. He slicked his hair back, and tried to catch his breath. “I take it back this water is freezing”

“That was so fun Josh” you shouted holding his shoulders. “Oh my god I feel so alive. Do you feel it Josh?”

He nodded his head and wrapped his arms around your waist. You threw your arms on his neck. “Yeah I feel it”

You held on to him tight, feeling his heart beat against yours. You stayed in the water far too long in this cool weather. You just couldn’t make yourself let go. You put your forehead against his. “Can I kiss you?”

He smiled softly “I would love that”

You leaned in placing your lips to his. Your body felt warm for a minute. Like a shock of electricity ran through your veins. Your lips moved against him. You let the last kiss drag out before you pulled back “I cant feel my toes”

“I can’t feel a lot of things” he said, and you busted out laughing. You hiked back up to the top to grab your clothes and headed towards the house. You were shivering and your teeth were chattering. When you arrived back at the house you couldn’t feel a thing. Everyone was sitting outside, and their neck snapped around to look at you two.

“What the hell happened to you guys?” Jake asked

“Oh you know we just jumped off a cliff. No biggie” Josh teased.

“We left you two alone for an hour and you jump off a cliff” he laughed.

“I’m gonna go change, and start the fire” you kissed his cheek.

Causing everyone’s jaws to drop. “Did she just-?”

Everyone gasped excitedly, and Josh just seemed to glow. He nodded his head proudly, and started to tell the story. His hands were flying everywhere as he spoke in detail.

“Hot chocolates on the stove, and the fire has been started”

“Actually that sounds quite nice” Jake said.

As the temperature dropped everyone piled in the house. Laying around the living room with hot chocolate in hand. A cozy movie playing, and the lights turned down.

You turned off the stove, and stepped into the living room. Looking around the room seeing everyone so content. You just smiled wishing it could be like this forever. He noticed your giddy smile “Come here love”

You cuddled up beside him, and he threw the blanket over you two. The house was warm, and everyone was completely relaxed. You felt as if you were melting into Josh. You thought this might be the most comfortable you’ve ever been. Your eyes started to get heavy, and before you knew it sleep had taken over.

You feared for the end of this week. Knowing it was coming soon. He would leave and go back to his busy life. You would be here like you always are. For now his fingers ran through your hair, and his lips kissed your forehead. He couldn’t quit place the feeling he was feeling, but he knew one thing.

He was home.

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avelera · 4 months ago

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I know it's been a while since it came out but when thing I really appreciated about Deadpool & Wolverine is that it and the rest of the Deadpool franchise really understood what fans want in a way that MCU movies have otherwise failed to grasp for a rather bafflingly long period of time which is this:

Happy Endings.

That might sound silly or childish (I can hear Deadpool's snort at the rude definition of happy endings in my ear even as I write this) but seriously, when was the last time a Marvel movie or show just gave us an unequivocal happy ending without any ambiguity?

For so long, Marvel has been feeling the need to provide some sort of hook, to set up that "not all is well" in order to keep people coming back for the next film.

But the thing is, I watched Deadpool 1, and Deadpool 2, and I came back for Deadpool & Wolverine even though technically all three ended with a happy ending. All three ended with the hero getting what they wanted, and the age-old reassertion of domesticity that is considered so cliche in so many happy endings (ie, everyone went home with their heterosexual partner and lived happily ever after in their white picket fence after the adventure was over).

What I actually loved, nay, even adored about Deadpool 2 was that it took the time to (spoilers) bring Vanessa back to life. It was in the credits, sure. But Wade/Vanessa is hands down my favorite het ship in the entire extended Marvel universe because they actually feel like they're in love, not just that they're falling in love or might have the chance to be in love someday (like Steve/Peggy) but that they actually have been in a long term relationship and they don't just love but actually like each other too, and they have what it takes to go the distance or, continue to be friends if they part ways as lovers. Like. MCU is so bad at het romance you guys, it's insane, but Wade/Vanessa actually feel like a real loving couple so even if I ship him with Logan too, I love how Wade/Vanessa was handled. I still get choked up about the whole Calendar Girl sequence and I was devastated in the second movie when she died.

And that's why it's so important to me that they brought her back. They didn't just leave it on "the girlfriend got fridged and while the hero still mourns her, he has grown stronger through the trials he suffered in the aftermath, etc etc." No, they understood she's a beloved character too, and it's a fantasy movie, and part of the fantasy is, yes, in the credits using the awesome magical powers at our disposal, we took an extra 10 seconds to make sure you know, as a fan, that everyone was ok in the end. Everyone got to live happily ever after, we brought back people who died, everything got to be ok.

The MCU hasn't done that in ages! WandaVision ends with Wanda losing everything, it's beautiful and devastating but it's also gut-wrenching and unsatisfying, especially after Multiverse of Madness. Winter Soldier ends with saving the world, sure, but the hero doesn't get everything back because we need to hook into the next movie, so Bucky needs to still be on the run and not reunited with Steve. Even Endgame, the end of the whole damn arc, ends with beloved characters (at least at the point of writing this) being dead and staying dead even though we have literal universe altering time magic at our disposal to, theoretically, bring them back and let everyone end on a happy note where they got everything they wanted.

Look, I get it, an all-around happy ending where everything is nicely tied up and everyone is alive and got their loved ones back can feel a bit childish. But throughout the MCU it has felt just so relentlessly withholding that no one gets this unequivocal, unambiguous happy ending in ages. It's like in their rush to hook you to the next movie, they completely forgot that part of the reward for the audience in watching these heroes go on these adventures is the hero getting what they want in the end, and not just getting strung along to the next adventure.

Deadpool understands that. Heck, it understands that you can give the all-around happy ending and still have problems that emerge down the line. Deadpool 2 ends happily but Wade still has problems that emerge in Deadpool & Wolverine, part of them are the outcomes of getting what he wanted that had unexpected consequences but don't diminish getting what he wanted after Deadpool 2. He wanted the white picket fence happy ending, sure, but as a result his life got dissatisfying and his relationship fell apart in a completely normal, human way. That doesn't actually diminish Deadpool 2 and saving Vanessa, btw, because bringing her back to life means life will go on and sometimes life just happens that way. Bringing her back means she has the chance to go on living and sometimes that means making decisions that aren't all about Wade. That's a good thing.

And likewise, Deadpool & Wolverine might get another sequel. I'm actually fine if it does! I'm fine if another villain just pops out of nowhere to interrupt their peace and quiet.

But here's the thing it will be interrupting their hard-won happy ending. They got the happy ending. We got to see Deadpool save his world of 9 people and add Worst Universe Logan to it. We got to see Logan from the Worst Universe find a loving family, even if he didn't get the original one back. We got to see everyone in peace and at rest having got what they wanted and what they needed. We got to see characters we love be happy.

Deadpool as a franchise understands that. It understands that we love these characters and, at some point, we want to see them happy after their trials and tribulations are over. I wish the MCU would remember that more often in its other stories, that not everything needs to end on a hook. Sometimes it can end with happily ever after and that still doesn't mean the story is over forever. Maybe it's just for now, but whether or not the story continues, Deadpool understood we on some level want to see our beloved characters left behind in a good place.

#deadpool and wolverine #deadpool meta #deadpool #deadpool & wolverine

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sammaggs · 5 months ago

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3x02 Eclipse | Nightmare

Stay with me on this one: I don’t think Marcus Ellory ever shows up to his mother's grave in Eclipse.

As truepenny points out in her typically-brilliant meta, Eclipse is written in the style of the Greek theatre's katabasis, a journey to the Underworld (followed by anabasis, the return to the world of the living). You've seen Hadestown? You've seen a katabasis.

This is another playwright John Krizanc joint, and as other people smarter than me have meta’d, Ray’s katabasis sees our hero venturing to the Underworld (a literal graveyard/crypt/grave); solving the riddle presented by the Underworld's guardian ("There. Now it's broken and it's working." "Good man."); learning a fundamental truth about the cyclical nature of life or undergoing a symbolic death of the past self; and then returning to the land of the living as a new or newly-knowledgeable person.

Ray Kowalski is tormented by Marcus Ellory as a symbol of his life up until this point. The two defining features of Ray Kowalski's life up until he meets Fraser are 1) Stella, and B) being a cop. "The point is, I mean, my whole life, it all starts and ends with this one guy."

But that part of Ray's life is over.

To make this a metaphor for queerness (as someone who personally married a man before coming out as a lesbian around Ray's age), in our mid-30s we're often forced to deconstruct the narratives of our lives that we've been so devoted to until this point. Have we been living for ourselves, or for other people? Has doing what society expects of us made us happy?

If you're closeted, the answer is usually going to be no. And that means you have to burn down your entire life to start fresh (the house, if you will). It means you have to grieve your past self—the one who had a heterosexual spouse and a house in the suburbs and did what society expected of you—in order to make room to rebirth your authentic self.

In the Underworld, and in the graveyard, Ray buries the man who wanted a wife; the man who wanted revenge on Ellory; the man who was a con job.

He's revived a man with a new partner, no longer motivated by vengeance, and who knows he's a damn good cop because he is.

So now that we've established all of that, let's get back to Ellory.

Ellory doesn't show up for his mother's funeral; by the time the mourners are leaving, he's still not there. "You know, Ray, I'm pretty sure he'll come," says Fraser, at 4:30PM. "We have time." But after Fraser gives Ray his own history back to him, Ellory still hasn't showed. They decide to leave, and Ray throws his dream catcher to the wind... where it's caught by Marcus Ellory.

"It's a dream catcher," says Fraser. "It tangles up bad dreams."

It tangles up bad dreams.

Ray puts on his glasses; he can't really see Ellory clearly. Then, once they end up together in the grave, no one else ever sees them. Fraser never sees Ellory. By the time Ray is reborn anew after the eclipse (literal darkness into light!), Ellory is nowhere to be seen. Suspicious!

I think the casting choice here, too, is deliberately made to make Ellory an allegorical figure as opposed to a literal one. Peter Bray, the actor, is 6'7". He's huge, and lying in the grave next to him, Ray looks even smaller than usual.

That's because we are seeing Marcus Ellory the way twelve-year-old Stan Kowalski would have. Huge, imposing, feet taller than him; essentially a cartoon villain. Ellory is exactly the same here as he is in Ray's memory, unchanged but for a little grey, even though twenty-three years have passed.

And then he disappears.

Ellory is the final boss of Ray's katabasis, his eclipse-fueled nightmare, tangled up in and cleansed by the dreamcatcher Fraser made him—just like Fraser's recitation of Ray's citations tangles up and cleanses Ray's own poor consideration of himself.

But it’s not about Ellory, y’know?? It has nothing to do with Ellory, not really, and everything to do with Ray’s own perception of himself and the story he tells himself about his own life. In this way, I think it’s more powerful a read if Ellory is not there; it’s all Ray. Just Ray, letting go of the man he thought he was and choosing to become the man he wants to be.

For me, Ellory’s just a bad dream. He’s a larger-than-life demon of Ray’s own making. He’s probably in hiding or dead, but Ray doesn’t actually need the real Ellory to exorcise that demon. He just needs the right angel.

Ray Kowalski dies and is reborn (like due South!), at the end of what I consider to be the two-part opener of Season 3.

Happy 27th birthday, Eclipse (Sept. 21, 1997)! You're one of the all-timer episodes of TV.

#due south #benton fraser #ray kowalski #fraser/rayk #otp: there's no ships like partnerships #fraser/kowalski #my gif edit #paul gross #sammaggs gif edit #maggs due south meta #3x02 eclipse #i know this is an insane amount of words for a tumblr post #but i'm taking this shit very seriously #apparently #this is what i'm doing instead of going back for my phd apparently

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tightjeansjavi · 2 years ago

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a drabble of joel rolling a joint then holding it to my mouth to inhale plEASE goD I BEG YOU

anything for my dear Mya ♡

A/N: baby gets what baby wants 😤 This was 100% self indulgent and I have nothing to be sorry for lol

~word count: 2.8k~

Summary: after a long day patrolling Jackson, Joel asks you to come over for a nightcap and a smoke. You eagerly agree.

Warnings: smut, fingering, praise kink, pet names, good girl, teasing, flirting, banter, sexual tension to the max level, Joel is an expert flirt, begging, paraphernalia, puff puff pass, mentions of drinking, doing drugs, dubious consent/consent under the influence, Joel and the reader almost get caught by Ellie, dirty talk, filth, NSFW, +18 minors dni!

When your patrol partner; Joel Miller, asked if you wanted to come back to his place to have a nightcap and a smoke, your brain barely registered your lips moving at the lightning speed to immediately say yes to his generous invitation.

His brow raised in your direction when you eagerly responded to him. Albeit, it was an incredibly long day so he expected you to be more willing than if it were any other occasion.

Leaves crunched under your in-sync boot steps. The sun was beginning to set along the horizon, turning the sky into brilliant hues of dark purple, magenta, and orange. Fall sunsets were your favorite, especially with Halloween steadfast approaching. The air held a slight chill that had you wrapping your arms around your body, hugging yourself gently.

Joel chuckled at this and had half the mind to offer you his jacket; but he didn’t want to cross a line. He unlocked his door to his cozy abode that he shared with Ellie. You’d been in Joel’s home a handful of times but only in the daytime. Seeing it at night was a whole new experience. The fading sun casted warm shadows over the furniture that inhabited the living room. The sage green couch pushed up against the wall and it appeared to already be well-loved.

“Go on and make yourself at home. You wanna have anythin’ to drink? Got whiskey..and more whiskey..” he chuckled warmly as he hung up his coat and rifle along the back hook on the wall alongside the door.

You could see the muscles beneath his well-worn flannel clench with the mundane movement. Jesus Christ, you were screwed.

“I’ll have a splash of whiskey, thank you.” You bent down, unlacing your boots and set them alongside his before hanging up your coat. You sank down into the couch with a content sigh as he grabbed two glasses from the kitchen. “Hey, Joel? Is Ellie not in tonight?”

“Nah. She’s at Dina’s havin’ a sleepover. She’s practically livin’ there at this point. Nice girl, makes El happy and that’s all I really give a damn about, y’know?” He popped the cap off the bottle of whiskey with his teeth, pouring a decent glass for himself, and a little more than a splash for you.

“They’re really cute together. Never seen your kid smile that much, except when she’s around Dina.”

“Yeah tell me ‘bout it.” He gave you his signature grin as he sat down alongside you, knees bumping into each other as he handed you your glass. He lightly clinked his glass against yours before he took a hefty sip. “Jus’ nice that she’s gettin’ to live a normal life now. S’all I really ever wanted f’her.”

You gave him a little grin over the rim of your glass as they taped together. You took a generous sip, sinking further into the couch cushions. “She’s really lucky to have you, Joel.”

He chuckled as he set his glass alongside the coffee table before grabbing a tin box that rested comfortably inside one of the coffee table drawers. You casually watched him pull out a jar of weed, and some fresh rolling papers. “I think it’s honestly the other way around fo’me. I’m really lucky t’have her. You wanna roll this one, or do you want me to do it?” He looked over at you casually watching the way your lips rested along the rim of the glass.

“I actually don’t know how to roll..you wanna teach me? When’s the last time you even rolled a joint, old man.” You teasingly asked as you lightly shoved his shoulder.

“You ain’t ever rolled before? Well, my dear, you’re in luck because I happen to know how to roll some of the tightest joints your pretty eyes have ever had the pleasure of feasting upon.” He declared with a subtle wink. “I ain’t that old sweetheart. Don’t let the gray fool ya. Last time I rolled one of these babies was..come to think of it, can’t remember. Probably back in my college days. Tommy though? He never stopped.”

“Hmm. You think you still got it in you Miller?”

“Me? Absolutely. It’s like ridin’ a bike.” He laid the paper out as he leaned over the table, grabbing a few small nuggets of marijuana and sprinkled it onto the paper. “Y’know, I’m really surprised that you said yes to comin’ over tonight. Thought you hated me or somethin.’”

You took another swig from your glass, setting it alongside his. “Hate you? No. Not even close to hating you. You’re just intimidating at times, and sometimes I feel like I’m gonna say the wrong thing and piss you off or something.” You said with a nervous laugh crawling up from your throat.

“I’m intimidatin’? Who woulda thought.” He snorted under his breath. “I highly doubt you could say anythin’ t’me that would piss me off. I really enjoy your ramblin’ when we’re on patrol together. Makes the time go faster.”

“Yeah, man. You’re so fucking intimidating. Like a walking fucking fridge. Or a bear..either or. Phew! I totally thought my rambling annoyed the hell out of you.” You let out a sigh of relief.

“Did you really just fuckin’ call me a fridge? That’s a new one I’ve never heard of before. ‘Supposed to be a compliment? I’m serious, darlin. You’re extremely easy to talk to, and very easy on the eyes.” His smooth twang nearly had you jumping his bones right then and there, but you were afraid of crossing that line the same way that he was.

“Joel Miller, are you flirting with me right now?” Your tone was light, teasing but you couldn’t help but shamelessly check out his side profile as he was bent over the side of the coffee table, licking the paper with one broad stroke of his wet tongue.

Your thighs subconsciously clenched together.

“Absolutely. I am flirtin’ with ya. Want me to stop? Don’t wanna go and cross any boundaries or nothin’. I uh—just think you’re really attractive. Have thought that for a while.” He smoothly admitted as he rolled the paper inwards, sealing the marijuana inside with precise precision.

“How long are we talking here? No, I don’t want you to stop. Keep going, I am enjoying the flattery.” You lightly giggled. “It’s your lucky day, Miller. I find you to be painfully attractive.”

Joel couldn’t help but chuckle as he used the tip of his nail to pack the weed down. “Wow, look at us. Haven’t even started smokin’ and we’re already admittin’ dirty secrets? Well, aren’t we just naughty.”

“The naughtiest.” You agreed.

Joel reached over with the unlit joint between his fingertips as he placed it between your parted lips, letting it rest along the plush skin of your lower lip. “Hold that fo’me. Good girl.” He praised you as he grabbed his little box of lighters. “Ellie and I collected most of these from old gas stations and stores we’d come across. Amazin’ what you can find even in an apocalyptic world. Huh?”

You did as he said as you gingerly held the joint between your lips, reaching into the box of lighters to pick one out. You ended up picking the one that had red and orange flames licking up the side of the lighters cartridge. “Exactly, you never know what you’re gonna find out there.” You handed him the lighter, watching his eyes lock on yours as he lit the tip of the joint for you with a spark from the lighter.

“You wanna sit in my lap? Y’know—just uh cause it would be easier for us to pass it back and forth.” He boldly asked.

“Wow, you sly dog. That was bold, even for you Miller. You weren’t kidding when you told me to make myself at home, huh?” You took a deep inhale as the lit end burned a bright vibrant orange. You blew the smoke up towards the ceiling before placing the unlit end into Joel’s lips. You wasted no time to crawl in his lap, with your thighs on either side of his hips. The close proximity was already making your head deliciously spin.

“I don’t joke about those kinds of things darlin.’ M’very serious with this stuff.” His free hand found purchase around the skin where your ass meets your thigh as he took a long drag.

“Oh? What other things are you serious about Joel?” You replied with a soft hum.

“Mmm. Lots of things, darlin.’ Could always show ya, if you want.” He placed the joint back between your lips, his thumb lightly brushing along your lower lip in the process. “Goddammit. Those pretty lips of yours are doin’ somethin’ to’me. They look so fuckin’ pretty wrapped around that joint. Think you have it in your heart to spare this old man a kiss? Think I’ll end up dyin’ if I don’t get a taste.”

The first thought to spring to your mind was, ‘what the fuck is in this weed, and where can I get more of it.’ And, ‘holy fuck. Is this really about to happen?’ You took a long, deep drag, lightly blowing the smoke past his head before you reached behind you and set the joint down against the ashtray so you could drape your arms loosely around his neck. “You wanna kiss me Mr. Miller?” You cooed softly.

“I want to kiss you so fuckin’ bad babydoll. So bad.” He whispered smoothly.

The kiss started off as a light brushing of your lips before it turned into a proper one. Joel’s one hand stayed firmly wrapped around your thigh while the other was cradling the back of your head as he kissed you deeply. He swiped his tongue along the seam of your lips, and once you granted him access, his tongue soon tangled with yours. The kiss grew more fervent, heated, as the seconds ticked by.

“S’okay. We don’t gotta rush or anythin’, sugar. Just let the weed do all the talkin’ for us. Say, did I ever tell ya how fuckin’ gorgeous you are? Mmm. No? Well, I’m sayin’ it now. You’re goddamn stunnin.’” He mumbled hazily against your lips. “So fuckin’ pretty.”

Your fingers tangled in his soft tendrils of salt and pepper hair, tugging it gently as you scooted yourself further into his lap. The air was growing heavy with lust as your jeans began to feel ten times tighter now. “Joel.” You whispered between kisses, “can I take these off, please? Fucking dying in these things”

“You just lookin’ for an excuse to get naked in front of me? You don’t gotta ask, babydoll. Told ya to make yourself right at home.”

You reluctantly detached your lips from his, a string of saliva connected your lips for a moment before you were sitting up and popping the button off your jeans. You shimmied them down your thighs, and past your ankles, giving him just a little show as you tossed the denim to the floor.

His fingers brushed over the lower back tattoo that was etched beautifully in your skin. A heart with barbed wire, it was fitting. “This one of your college days choices?” His thumb brushed along the ink, eliciting a shudder to roll down your spine.

“Yeah, do you like it?”

“Fuckin’ love it.” He rasped, coaxing you back down into his lap gently. “C’mere.”

“You gonna touch me, or keep asking questions Miller?” You were kissing him once more, biting down on his lower lip and tugged it out before gently releasing it.

“Mmm. Someone is awfully eager. C’mon, be a good girl and ask me nicely.” He teased.

“Please fucking touch me Joel. Or I’ll do it my goddamn self.” You threatened.

That’s all it took for Joel Miller to slowly dip his fingers under the thin fabric of your panties. His broad middle and forefinger brushed between your slit, gathering up the pooling arousal between your sticky folds. “Fuck me. You’re so fuckin’ wet. This all fo’me? How generous of you honeypie. Such a sweet little wet cunt.” He hummed as his fingers rubbed tight circles against your clit, causing your back to arch up towards his touch like a magnet.

“Mhm. It’s all for you. I’ve been dreaming for this to finally happen. I’ve wanted you for so fucking long. I almost had me jumping your bones earlier.” Your lips parted as your eyes fluttered shut.

“Oh? Now you’re havin’ dreams about me, sweet girl? That’s cute. Didn’t know you had that much of a crush on me. Woulda made a serious move sooner if I had known.” He detached his lips from yours, swollen with your kisses as he peppered them down your jaw and throat. “Want me to play with ya a little? We’ll do whatever you wanna do. No pressure.”

“I want you to make me cum with your fingers alone. I want to see if they’re really as skilled as they look.”

Joel let out a low growl as he playfully nibbled on your skin, soothing the pain his teeth inflicted with his tongue. “Think I can easily handle that darlin.’ Why don’t ya grab that joint again while I fuck ya with my fingers. Wanna see your pretty face ride through the high.”

He used his thumb to push your panties to the side for easier access as his middle and forefinger lightly circled your tight went hole. You were wet enough for both of his fingers to slowly sink knuckle deep into your pussy. His fingers were inside you at a deliciously deep angle that already had you seeing stars as he curled them inwards.

“I knew you had a tight pussy, sweetheart. Didn’t know she was gonna be this fuckin’ tight. Fuck. Can you imagine how tight your little pussy is gonna be clenchin’ on my cock? Dunno if I’m even gonna fit baby.”

You struggled to reach behind you and slip the joint back between your fingers as his fingers pumped in and out of your tight wet walls with practiced ease. With a shaky exhale you placed the joint back between your lips taking a long, and deep inhale. “Another—another night Joel. I promise. Just keep going. Don’t stop.” You pleaded as your hips slowly rocked into his hand.

“That’s it. Nice n’slow fo’me now. Yeah, that’s it. Good girl. Good fuckin’ girl. Can feel ya clenchin’ down on my fingers, sweet thing.” He curled his fingers in a come hither motion while he used his thumb to lightly rub circles against your clit while you rode his hand.

The air was growing heady, musky as you moaned out his name through hazy smoke that circled your bodies like halos. The joint was placed between Joel’s lips as you continued to rock and roll your hips. Just when you were about to hit your high, tasting your impending orgasm on your tongue, the door lock jiggled and Joel was quickly throwing a blanket over your bodies as your hips stilled along his fingers.

An exhausted looking Ellie strode in through the front door. She didn’t even see you and Joel on the couch as she trudged up the steps to her room.

Joel let out a shaky breath of relief when she didn’t notice the filth taking place on the couch. Just to be safe, he brought his freehand against your mouth before he resumed the motions of his fingers. He kept the joint between his lips as his fingers pumped inside of you at an unforgiving pace.

“C’mon. You gonna cum all over my fingers, sweet girl? Gonna coat them fo’me? C’mon. I know you’re fuckin’ close.” S’okay. I gotcha.” He praised you softly as you let out a hushed sob against his hand that covered your mouth. Your hips stilled as he slowly slipped his fingers out with a boy-like grin.

“Don’t look at me like that.” You giggled, plucking the joint from between his lips to finish it off.

“Like what? Like the way a man knows he’s completely and utterly fucked? I thought you enjoyed that typa of thing darlin.’”

“Mmm. Yeah, you are most definitely fucked, Joel Miller. It’s alright. I am too. We’re both fucked.”

“In the best way possible.” He added on.

What was left of the joint was ashed out before Joel was cuddling up with you on the couch like the soft teddy bear he truly was.

“Do you think Ellie saw us when she came in?”

“Nah. She didn’t even look ova’here. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. She knows just how bad of a crush I’ve had on ya anyway.” He lightly kissed the curve of your spine as you were pressed against his chest.

“Oh, of course she did.” Your eyes fluttered shut gently as a small grin graced your features. High off Joel Miller, and his joint rolling skills; what a fantastic evening indeed.

Tag list: @cavillscurls @sinsofsummers @morning-star-joy @cupofjoel @dinsdjrn @thetriumphantpanda @darkroastjoel @chaotic-mystery @korynnekorynne @kirsteng42

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