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viennakarma · 7 months ago

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My dearest friend and enemy (2)

PART 2 | Fernando Alonso x Reader

Summary: You and Fernando always dreamed of the day you'd get into Formula 1. Unfortunately, the competition, the pride and the stubborness, get in the way of a beautiful friendship.

Word count: 7.1k

Tags: female!reader, driver reader, coming of age, ups and downs of a friendship, brocedes coded, very very angsty, cursing, anger, fights, overuse of flavio briatore as a plot device, lots of low blows, sprinkles of romance, kissing, making out, happy ending, not beta read

Relationship: Fernando Alonso x Reader

Note: Someone requested this, with this very detailed request, and it has consumed my every thought for the past week or two. I had to tweak some things from the request here and there, hope it's ok. It's heavily inspired by brocedes. (There is a lot of info that is wrong or inaccurate, I did this on purpose to fit my narrative, if you catch them, please ignore)

I was wondering doing a bonus part about Fernando POV throughout everything (to show he was ALSO miserable), but I don't know if i have the time and energy for it. Let me know if you guys would be interested in it and I'll do it in headcanons/topics.

I'm sorry if it feels rushed, this was taking way too long and I just wanted to follow my heart. Feedback and opinions are appreciated xx

Find me on Twitter!

PART 1 | FERNANDO'S HEADCANONS

You were moping and crying in the living room when the phone started ringing. Looking at the little screen that showed the number that was calling, you knew it was Fernando. You had memorized his number at some point in your lifetime. Your parents weren’t home, so you hesitated. You took so long that his call went to voicemail.

“I know you’re there,” he said, voice sounding tired, low and inpatient, “please pick up the-”

You pulled the phone cable, unplugging the call and silencing him. Wiping your tears, you stared at the unplugged phone on the little side table for what felt like hours, until your parents returned from work, when you got up to plug the phone back and pretend like you didn’t spend the whole day mourning a friendship you always thought would last forever.

After two days ignoring all calls, even Flavio’s, you decided that you’d shield yourself from now on, and you wouldn’t give Fernando any more ammo to hurt you. You met with Flavio at the next race, face heavy with makeup to cover up the sleepless nights you had gone through. You put your bag down and stared at Flavio across the table.

“Good morning. Let’s go back to work,” you said, gently pulling the stack of papers from his grasp. He called your name in that tone, of someone wanting a heart to heart.

“We should talk about the f-” He started but you cut him off.

“No, I don’t want to talk about that,” you said.

“I talked to Fernando and he-”

“I said, I don’t want to talk about it. He’s dead to me.” You repeated slowly, finally looking up at him. Flavio must’ve seen something in your eyes because he let the topic go.

You didn’t see Fernando for two more days, and when the weekend officially started, you avoided him like the plague. Even when you two were in the same place with other drivers, you’d ignore his existence for the most part. Whenever you were in a little circle chatting with other drivers and he arrived, you’d leave immediately. Press conference, you convinced Jenson to switch places with you so you could be as far from Fernando as possible. Even with team debriefs, with Flavio trying to make you talk to Fernando, you refused.

The rest of the season was insane, during team meetings and debriefs you were cold and barely talked to him. He didn’t try to talk to you either, and the silent distance only grew.

You were head to head in a race, you were P2 and Fernando P3 right behind you.

“Switch with Fernando,” your engineer said on the radio.

“He won’t fucking pass me,” you said into the radio, holding your position and pace. He was less than a second behind, and you refused to let him pass.

“I repeat, let him pass,” That was Flavio.

“If he manages to overtake me, he can go.”

He didn’t. You knew you had more pace, but still he insisted, and through the mirrors, you could see him closing in behind you. He tried to overtake but you pushed the car fast, and when he couldn’t anymore, he turned into you, touching his front right tyre to your rear left tyre. You were too fast. The mere touch of his tyre bursted yours. You couldn’t even get angry as you lost control of the car in a millisecond, the speed making your car fly into the air as it hit the gravel. With your car overturning a few times in the air, you watched your sight going ground, sky, ground, sky, ground, sky.

Then you blacked out.

When you woke up, you were on a stretcher being placed carefully inside the ambulance, you tried to get up, dizzy and someone handed you a bag where you threw up inside.

You had an insane headache as they took you to the medical center. Apparently, everything else was alright as you checked your own body for any injuries or problems. The doctor checked you but still made you through a round of tests and injected saline solution diluted with pain medicine in an IV drip. They also decided you’d stay overnight to make sure nothing was wrong.

Your dad, who was watching from the garage, was the first to find you in the medical center, visibly worried and crying. He hugged you for a whole minute, before taking a step back and touching your face to make sure you were really alright.

“I’m ok, Papá. Just passed out when the car was spinning in the air,” You smiled softly, wanting to dissipate his worry.

“When you didn’t answer the radio-” He choked back tears.

“It’s ok, I’m ok now.”

“What are you feeling, darling?” He pressed, holding your hands to look for injuries in your arms.

“I’m all in one piece, Papá. Just a little sore, but that’s normal whenever a racing driver crashes,” you let him know, and he nodded.

“Let me just call your mother. She was so worried she wanted to get into the first flight here,” He told you.

“Tell her I’m alright and I love her,” you whispered and he nodded, going outside.

You sighed as you were left alone, trying to find a comfortable position where you didn’t have to move too much, since your whole body felt like it had been run over by a truck. The door opened and you thought it was Flavio, but you were faced with Fernando, still sweaty and in his overalls. He looked disheveled, but he was full of worry, even his eyes looked a little misty as he stood there a few meters from you.

But you couldn’t look past the anger when the memory of him diving into your car came back. He had gambled with your life, out of pettiness, out of envy, he couldn’t pass you, so he decided the next best thing was to take you out, not even caring about the danger he was putting you through.

“Leave.” You said, with gritted teeth.

“Please,” he begged with his voice softer than you had heard for almost a year, “let me just-”

“Leave! You could’ve gotten me killed, Fernando. Get out!” You said, louder. “Do you have any idea that you could have ruined my life in a moment of anger?! That you could have gotten me seriously injured or worse?! I would have never done that to you!” You pressed your index finger to the nurse button repeatedly, and a few seconds later, a nurse came in, “Ma’am can you escort him out please?”

You could see in his eyes that he was hurt by your words, but in that moment, all you felt was blind rage, for what he did the last time you spoke and because he crashed into you on purpose. You didn’t want to hear any excuses now that he realized he put your life in danger just because his ego couldn’t take a hit.

The next day, after you were discharged, you traveled for a meeting with Flavio at Renault’s headquarters. He met you alone in the meeting room, talking to you about the accident, and after making sure you were physically fine, he went off.

“What you did yesterday was reckless and you went against express orders from the team and from me. This is not happening again, or you will be risking your seat at Renault,” He said, his voice never leaving room for debate, you swallowed and nodded, “When the team orders you to do something, you do. No questioning, and no going against it. Understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Fernando was really worried about you yes-”

“I don’t want to talk about him.” You cut Flavio off.

“You two are best friends, it’s really sad to see you lose all that because of Formula 1” Flavio said, gently.

“He put my life at risk, Flavio. This is not something a friend would do,” you stood up, walking away but you stopped by the door, “Kinda curious how motorsports, the very thing that brought us together, is the same that tore us apart.”

Then you went to meet the engineers for the next race strategies.

That night as you laid down at home, you thought that you’d never compete with Fernando solely because he was Flavio’s favorite. If it ever came to Flavio to decide whether you would win or Fernando would win, he’d always pick Fernando. You could’ve been fighting for the championship this year, he had promised you, instead you were being used as a step in Fernando’s path of glory, when you could be fairly racing him for the championship. You’d always come second to him there. That was also the moment you stopped seeing Flavio as a friend, and confined him back to a position of Team Principal.

You reread the Sauber proposal that came to you that year to start racing for them the next season, tempted to just go and make your name somewhere else. Somewhere where you’d be put first.

But deep down, a sense of indebtedness had rooted into your heart ever since the day Fernando told you the truth. You had to pay Flavio back for his trust and for his money, and the only way you thought you could do it was by becoming world champion under his team.

There was still a little kid inside you, a little kid who aspired to prove Fernando wrong, to become a champion and prove to yourself you’re more than him. More than who he wanted you to be, more than a loser.

You turned down the offer from Sauber.

The rest of the season you went almost robotically. You still gave your all every race, but your mood would always damper when you had to follow team orders.

“Ask if me and Fernando can switch, I’m faster!” You said on the radio. You kept driving, Fernando a little less than two seconds in front of you, but you were getting closer and would catch up to him in two laps.

“Negative, protect his position.”

“There’s a McLaren right behind me! They’ll pass us both!”

“Negative, team orders.”

You swallowed and held your position, trying to maintain your P2 and Fernando P1. But when the McLaren got close to you, they managed to pass you after a brief battle, going for Fernando a couple of laps later.

Later, you stood on the podium, looking ahead knowing that P3 could’ve been a P1 if they had let you fight for it. You didn’t look at Fernando on the other side of the podium, you just stood there, eyes watery. You pretended to take part throwing champagne for a few seconds, forcing a smile knowing that it would look bad not to.

The post race interviews were torture, and you wanted to go home and vent to your parents.

“How has it been to manage your friendship with Fernando outside the track?” A reporter asked, and your smile disappeared from your face.

“We were never really friends,” you shrugged, annoyed, you added “Are there any questions about racing instead of my personal life?” The reporter was silent, visibly taken aback by your responses, you had rarely been hostile toward a journalist before, you knew he would have a field day with just those replies, especially when your PR manager gave you a hard stare, “No? Thank you, see you around.”

You finished P2 in the race Fernando became champion for the second time. When you got out of the car, you watched as Flavio and Fernando hugged, jumping from the ground and celebrating. The number one and your team principal. After the podium ceremony, you didn’t bother to stay to spray champagne, just leaving and going straight out.

You got a couple more proposals from other teams, and you were tempted, until Flavio told you Fernando was leaving for McLaren the next year and offered you an extension. You took it under the condition to become the number one driver now that Fernando was out of the picture.

A part of you mourned the death of the dream, the one you had at fourteen to become teammates with your best friend. So many things had happened in between everything, now you would miss it. Only the good, not the bad and ugly. You wish you could go back in time, redo everything, and never allow yourself to lose your best friend on the way.

The next year you ended up striking an unexpected friendship with Jenson Button, Nico Rosberg and eventually the two rookies Lewis and Sebastian, who had been very vocal about being fans of yours.

You didn’t go back to talking with Fernando. You didn’t try and he didn’t either. It felt like the bridges were too far burned to recover.

One day as you walked out of the garage, you saw Fernando with a girl on the opposite side. She was clinging to his side, whispering. You knew he had his fair share of fun with grid girls but he never invited them to watch the race from his garage. You wondered if he was dating again, after a couple of years being nothing more than a player. You also wonder why it made a pang of pain flare through your chest.

You don’t linger too much. He had no reason to tell you. You weren’t even friends anymore.

You moved on, as much as you could. And eventually, you met Kaka, or Ricardo, as you preferred calling him. He was a footballer, a big name in the sport, playing for a big team in Italy. You actually met him at a gala party, the both of you being silly introverts, bumping into each other when trying to find a way out. You two ended up talking for hours on the balcony, watching the city lights.

He reminded you of Nano before Formula 1.

And you actually wanted to smash your own head against the handrail as you thought that.

After exchanging numbers and calling a couple of times, you managed to convince Ricardo to come to a Grand Prix. His presence was calm, funny without being mean, and so gentle. It was actually the calm between the storm your life and job was.

You were pacing around outside the motorhomes to try and see if he had arrived yet, since the last you had talked to him was when he was on his way. While waiting, your eyes found Fernando’s on the opposite side in front of McLaren, he was sitting down with his girlfriend telling him something. You stared at him for a whole minute, and for a brief moment, the anger left his eyes for something softer, something like-

“Hi, minha linda!” Ricardo showed up out of nowhere, and he hugged you so tight he actually swiped you off your feet.

Once the surprise passed, you hugged him back, your fingers finding their way through his hair. And he laughed, spinning you before putting you down. You talked for a bit, your face lit up as he told you about his day.

Your eyes unconsciously turned to Fernando, because you could feel that he had been staring at you for as long as Ricardo was there. His face was back to anger.

“You want me to give you the grand tour?” You offered, just so you could escape the weight of Fernando’s glare.

You took Ricardo by the hand and showed him all around, even introducing him to part of your team. After that race when you placed third, Ricardo invited you to a date, the first official one. After a couple of months and a few kisses, he asked you to be his girlfriend. You only hesitated for a second before smiling and squealing a yes.

Being the main driver of your team allowed you to live an entirely different season as a racer. You didn’t want to be arrogant, but you had it in the bag. You had the best car, the best engines, and just the perfect amount of boldness. Add insane strategies, and you were unstoppable.

Despite Fernando being your close rival on track, he was way too busy beefing with Lewis, his surprisingly great rookie teammate.

During summer break that year, you were on a trip to Brazil with Ricardo, but still, the night of July 29th, you got up at two a.m., slowly went to the fridge, where you got an ice cream pint. With a spoon, you sat on the handrail in the balcony, and watched the waves breaking on the beach a few meters away.

It was weird keeping the ice cream tradition alone, but you supposed it was even weirder not keeping the tradition. Staring at the stars, you wondered if Fernando had any ice cream to celebrate his birthday that day.

“Hi,” you heard Ricardo behind you, his hands sneaking around your middle and he hugged you from behind, laying his head against your shoulder, “everything ok?”

“Yeah, just wanted a little treat,” you mumbled, closing the lid on the ice cream, because a selfish part of you didn’t want to share the tradition with anyone other than Fernando. It was silly and stupid, and still… you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You put the ice cream back in the freezer and smiled at Ricardo as he pulled you into his arms and carried you back to bed.

You came back from summer break with a renewed sense of focus. Deep down you knew that was your season. Your season to become world champion, and nothing was going to get in the way of that. As you won the first two races after summer, you became first in the standings, this sense of purpose being the one thing motivating you every weekend to give your best.

It was Interlagos that year when you needed only a podium to become World Champion, pretty much the same as Fernando two years before. The race was tough, and it felt like Fernando was out to get you, especially in a moment right in the middle of the race, when you were behind him in P3 and he tried to brake test you again, but this time you were quick to react, avoiding his rear and using his own dirty trick against him, turning sharply to overtake him from outer side, moving past him fast enough to gain some precious couple of seconds.

After that, you managed to smoothly overtake the P1 with a carefully planned pit stop that allowed you to come out first. Later on, you saw a crash, nothing too bad, but you found out it was Fernando and Webber.

“Are they ok?” You asked via radio to your engineer.

“Yes, they are already back on the pitlane.”

You sighed and focused back to your race, keeping your P1 safe, and going smoothly to take the checkered flag.

“Congratulations, Y/N! You’re a Formula One World Champion!”

You felt the tears coming down and dampening your balaclava, as you took one last lap to parc ferme, waving at the crowd that went insane.

It was like a huge weight was lifted from your chest. Because you were now world champion. You were there, and you deserved to be there, among the best. You didn’t need to prove yourself anymore, and you had finally paid Flavio back.

You jumped out of the car straight into your team, jumping with them, and Flavio ran up to you, pulling you into a tight hug. Jenson also found you and hugged you firmly, patting your back and Nico also hugged you, both of them were on the podium with you.

As you looked down from the podium, with a watery, emotional smile, you saw your dad crying like a baby and clapping his hands. Unconsciously, your eyes looked for Fernando, silly hoping it mattered something to him, that at least in the name of your former friendship, he would be there, but he was nowhere to be seen, and you felt like that was another nail in the coffin of your friendship.

Deciding to forget it, you drank champagne straight from the bottle, laughing as both Nico and Jenson paired up to drown you in champagne, looking happy for you.

After talking to your mom on the phone, you stood up, taking your bag and going out to look for your dad. You didn’t make it very far, as you came out in the hallway, you found Fernando, leaning against the wall. You paused, looking up to him while your heartbeat went up.

“I’m happy for you,” he whispered. And you wanted to believe it really badly, but thinking about him brake testing you during the race, trying to take you out, made you roll your eyes at him.

“Sure, you are,” you said sarcastically. He shook his head and clicked his tongue, like he was disappointed you didn’t believe him, “my debt is over now.”

“What?” He frowned, confused.

“I just paid Flavio for his investment,” you explained, “I’m not just here because you asked him to support me, I’m a damn great driver. I’m here because I deserve it, not because you took me out of pity.”

Fernando stared at you completely shocked at your words, something painful stabbing at his chest. He never thought you’d think like that over disgusting words he said in a moment of anger. Words that never meant anything to him, that he didn’t even believe in himself. The hurt in your eyes was the same from the day he said the words, when you cried looking into his eyes and telling him he was dead to you.

You walked past him and away. He wanted to shout that he never meant those words, that you were so much more, so much better. But you just left. Fernando followed you outside, trying to catch you and explain himself, maybe fix things between you, making peace.

But as he got outside, he paused, seeing you jumping in your boyfriend’s arms, laughing at something he whispered to you. Fernando swallowed, closing his fist and jealousy burned through his limbs, with such force that it felt like a fever.

Right after the Brazilian Grand Prix, Ferrari got in touch with you, offering a two year contract to become teammates with Kimi Raikkonen and drive for what was one of, if not the most classic team in Formula 1. After negotiations, it was a no brainer. You didn’t owe Renault anything any more. And that’s what propelled you to meet with Flavio that winter break in a cafeteria in Monaco. When you had called, he said he wanted to talk to you about something, which was convenient.

After pleasantries and small talk, you were ready to start, but Flavio cut you off without noticing.

“I have to tell you something,” he started, carefully, “Fernando is coming back to Renault next year.”

You froze for a second, not wanting to think too much about the implications of that. The fact that Flavio was willing to force you and Fernando to be teammates again even after the catastrophic ending you had before. Sighing, you covered your face for a second.

“I know you have reservations, but I’ve talked with Fernando and he’s willing to-”

“I’m going to Ferrari.”

And Flavio understood, after talking for a while. He knew Ferrari was most drivers' ultimate dream, and you weren’t immune to that either. Unfortunately for you, Fernando released the news he was going back to Renault a week before Ferrari announced you, and the media had a field day with that, tabloids and media outlets doing numbers of articles about you avoiding being teammates with Fernando again, since he was coming back and you were conveniently leaving almost at the same time.

Your races with Fernando kept being dangerous, one always trying to one up the other, dangerous moves and overtakes, close calls of crashing into each other, and more and more jabs publicly. The attacks at each other never stopped, and the media seemed to enjoy it, feeding into it ever so often.

One occasion, you were going for a win, and the only thing between you and that damn P1 was Fernando Alonso. So you kept your P2, biding your time as you tried to close the gap, leaving your chance at overtaking for the last few laps. When a fast turn came, you advanced, overtaking him, Fernando tried to defend his position, but you were getting the lead, and both of you were in high speed. Someone had to back out, otherwise you two would crash. But you were feeding off of anger and hurt, and you didn’t back down well into the turn, but suddenly, Fernando slowed down, giving up defending. You took the P1 and after a few laps, the checkered flag. You knew on the podium that Fernando was seething, his face didn’t hide that. Later, at an interview, someone brought up the dirty move.

“So, a very dangerous move at turn 2 during lap 47, no?” The reporter asked, trying to get a reaction out of you.

“I thought it was a pretty common battle, no?” You said, a condescending tone imitating him.

“Well, it could’ve caused you both to crash.”

“I took a risk, either I would pass and win, or we would both crash and DNF. Alonso was wise and went for the safest option.” I gave the reporter a fake smile.

You knew that answer would piss Fernando off, and a part of you knew he deserved it. Sometimes you acted on pure rage and pettiness, feral and way more aggressive against Fernando on track than you really needed to be. But he just pissed you off. Walking around with his model girlfriend, his attacks at your racing abilities, his pretty eyes that always seemed to find yours at the most inconvenient times.

Then, the race weekend would end, and everything that was left was shame. Your burning shame every time your mom’s eyes shone when she asked about Fernando, hoping you two would have made peace. You, looking away from her face every time you told her you knew nothing about Alonso because you didn’t want to see the disappointment in her eyes.

Later that year, after your two year anniversary with Ricardo, you accidentally found a ring box in his suitcase. A proposal ring, a beautiful big diamond ring, probably worth a small fortune. And you tried to feel happy about it, but you could only find dread in your heart. Despite loving Ricardo, you knew you didn’t love him as much as you could. And certainly not as much as she loved you. You didn’t love him as much as you loved-

Closing your eyes, you also closed your heart, and after that just like the coward you were, you broke up with Ricardo the kindest way you could. He was confused, because your relationship was tranquil, without many problems. It broke your heart to break his heart, but you couldn’t lead him on, you knew Ricardo was husband material, and the earlier you let him go, the earlier he would find his true happiness.

Ultimately, you decided to only pursue love after your Formula One career. Having a bit of fun here and there, and a couple of casual relationships even with other drivers, but nothing serious or public. When you found out Fernando was single again, a flicker of hope sparked in your chest, but when you saw him go back to his playboy ways… It died down.

Sometimes you would dream of a different life, of one you never lost your best friend… or even better, one that you never had to suppress the love you felt for him. And sometimes it felt too much, like all this love was just filling up your hollow heart, filling up until it overflowed, until you felt like you were drowning in it, because there was nowhere for this love to go. And you wondered, what do I do with this love, there's no one to give it to, there's no recipient to put it. So you would just ground your teeth and bear it, holding onto anger because that much love, that much longing did nothing but cause you pain.

Every time someone mentioned him outside race weeks, you felt ashamed.

Despite being in a top team like Ferrari, you’d only get a few wins, and some podiums here and there, so it wasn’t like you didn’t achieve anything. But you were a woman so it was obviously not enough, and the media started questioning your career and your place in Formula One.

After two years of you driving for Ferrari, Domenicalli, your team principal, sat you down to let you know Fernando Alonso would be joining the team the next year, and you bit the inside of your cheek, considering just retiring. The criticism was getting to you, and the perspective of living hell with Fernando as your teammate was a broken heart all over again.

When an opportunity arose to drive for Red Bull Racing, with a two year contract, you didn’t think twice before accepting. It would be your chance to turn the tide in your career.

It sent the motorsport world into a frenzy when your new team announced you and a week later Ferrari announced Fernando as their future driver. The same narrative of you running away from him was passed ahead. And of course, it got to the paddock. Most drivers that were close to you actually congratulated you, but of course, nothing was ever good for Fernando. And despite not fully talking to him, he was always willing to throw a mean comment at you any given day.

“And people said you’re washed” Fernando said right after the news broke, the second to last race of that season, his voice dripping with venom. You knew it was a backhanded compliment, he always did that when he wanted to get a rise out of you. He smirked, waiting for your feral clapback, as you always had one on the tip of your tongue.

But when he looked back at you, your face was stony, and you were looking ahead with your chin raised. You didn’t even look at Fernando, nor answered his taunting. You pretended he wasn’t there but he noticed your eyes were misty.

That had been a low blow, even for him. He didn’t know shit about your feelings regarding your career, but he knew exactly how the world had been treating it, and it made you burn with shame that he could add insult to injury this easily. You wondered why he would say something like that if, just like you, it had been years since the last time he was champion of the world. Two years pushing yourself to the maximum so you could achieve your second championship.

Fernando had been your best friend for so long, he knew exactly what buttons to push when he wanted to hurt you.

When someone else arrived, greeting you, you cleared your throat briefly before answering and plastering a smile that never reached your eyes.

“Are you running away from me?” Fernando cornered you later that same day.

“What?” You paused.

“I went back to Renault and you left, now I’m going to Ferrari and you’re leaving,” he shrugged. You scoffed.

“I’m not sure if you know, but my life doesn’t revolve around you, Fernando.”

“Well, that’s a weird coincidence, don’t you think?”

“What do you want? Why are you here?”

Fernando paused for a second, his eyes searching yours, he looked vulnerable, open like he hadn’t been in so long. He looked every bit your best friend from years before.

“I miss you, I-” He started, then cleared his throat.

“I miss the old you,” You swallowed a whole bunch of your pride just to be able to say those words.

“Things are different now…” Fernando started, his eyes full of hoping, of longing, “We could- maybe we could-”

“Fernando, we’re too far gone, what we said- what we did…” You muttered, feeling a lump in your throat, “how do one come back from that?”

“We could restart. Try again-”

“You lost me forever that day, Fernando.” You muttered, the tears holding on to your eyelashes. You didn’t need to specify the day, he knew, he had seen in your eyes the moment he lost you, “I spent so long hearing your voice in my head, telling me I wasn’t good enough, I shouldn’t be here, and I- I hated you that day. And I had to hold onto this hate, because the alternative was overwhelming sadness.”

There was a numbing silence for a couple of minutes, as you stared down at your own feet, trying to stop all the feelings you spent years carefully locking away from breaking free. So much had happened, you believed you and Fernando were too far to recover now.

“I’m a woman here, the first and only woman in so long, and the whole world was against me. You have no idea how it felt that my best friend, the person I trusted the most, was also against me,” You shook your head, feeling the tears drop.

“I’m sorry, Nena… I’ve never- I’ve never meant any of that.” He muttered, and you didn’t look at him to see if he was being genuine. You had formed walls around your heart to protect yourself from heartbreak, and you now had a hard time believing him.

“There are some things… that are not meant to be.” You didn’t look back at Fernando after you said that, choosing to walk away with this broken heart feeling ever present.

It was hard to keep going everyday. You had always faced backlash for being a woman in Formula 1, and you were used to it. But the media took a turn over the next few years. When you didn’t win more championships, when years passed and you were still there, along with other champions and future champions. They started to call you old, washed, telling you to retire and placing bets on when you’d lose your seat. It was baffling because it had been six years since your championship, but it had been seven years since Fernando’s, but still, you were the only one whose spot was questioned all the time. It was unfair, and whenever they came up to you talking about it, you’d ask them if they’d ask the same to older drivers or other champions. They would leave you alone for a week and then come back stronger, ready to throw your whole career under the bus.

Finally, you got another chance at the championship in 2013, after an unbelievable start of the season with five consecutive wins. That had put you first in the standings for the championship, and from there on, your team molded the season around you. Smooth sailing through the season, you became world champion in Suzuka, way too far ahead in the championship to anyone be able to catch up to you.

When you stood on the podium that night, you cried happy tears. You had once again proved wrong years of demerit from the world. As you looked down to search for your family, your eyes found Fernando right beside them, a proud, emotional look on his face as he kept a hand over his heart, listening to your national anthem.

He nodded at you with a small smile, and a part of you healed a little bit.

You enjoyed a couple of days of pure bliss after becoming world champion. Parties, celebrations and trips, they were all you did for the next few weeks.

When the FIA Prize Giving ceremony came, you had another bombshell to drop at the world. You were the most stunning you ever felt that year when you arrived at the ceremony, in a beautiful dark blue dress with little crystals all over the bodice, a beautiful hairstyle and even more beautiful makeup. Never in your entire career in Formula 1, you had felt so fulfilled, so happy.

Hearing your name being called as the winner, the number one, was different this time, and had much more weight, and it made your heart burst with happiness. As you walked up the stairs to the stage, receiving your trophy, you stopped by the mic.

“Thank you so much. I’d like to thank my family for supporting me from the beginning, my team for making the perfect season, and the perfect car for me to be able to achieve this. I’d like to thank all my teammates that, in one way or another, taught me some valuable lessons as a racer. Thanks to Flavio for taking a chance on my career when probably no one else would.” You said, with a smile. You took a good look around, all the people in this sport who made Formula 1 the most important category of motorsport, all your peers, all the teams. “I’m announcing my retirement from Formula 1, as of right now.”

There was a wave of shock and loud gasps in the whole room, flashes and flashes bulbing harder than before, journalists scrambling to take notes… But you kept smiling, hand firm around your trophy as you let the news settle down before speaking again.

“In 2007 I wanted to pay Flavio back for giving me the opportunity to be here today. That debt was paid that same year. After that year I wanted to win for myself, to write my name in the history books, and my dream is now realized. I feel like I should move on and make space for new upcoming talents.” Your eyes were wet with unshed tears, but you smiled, the first genuine smile in a few years.

Fernando felt his heart drop at your words. Things weren’t supposed to go like this, you two should be best friends, drive together, retire together. Go down in history together.

“I’m grateful for everything this sport provided me, the adventures, traveling around the world, the people I met and the people I lost,” there was a calm pause, and Fernando wondered if you were talking about him too, “Now it’s time to go and achieve new dreams. Thank you very much.”

You turned around and walked away under the applause.

Later, after the ceremony was done, you were getting ready to leave when Fernando came to find you. He was dressed in a beautiful suit, looking like a million dollar man.

“Nena…”

It made you pause. It had been a while since he called you like that with that specific tone.

“What? Came here to gloat?” You couldn’t help but be defensive, worried.

“What?”

“I knew you’d be one of the happiest when I retired.”

“No, I would not-”

“You would, Fernando. You did. Many times you said I was done, that my prime was over, that I should retire…”

“I never thought you’d easily give up!” He shouted at you, “Like you did in 2006, not competing against me.”

“That’s because they didn’t let me compete! Do you think I couldn’t have competed with you back in ‘06? I could, but every time, they would tell me to back off, to let you pass, to not fight you, to not overtake you-” You threw at his face, because you wouldn’t stand there and let him look down on you like that. You refused to back down now that you were finally free. “Pat threatened my seat if disobeyed team orders.”

“What?! Why did you never tell me that?” Fernando looked shocked. His fighting stance was completely gone now.

“You were going to be World Champion again. I would never take that from you,” You whispered, voice failing.

“Nena…” He said, like he wanted to drop everything. “Please, don’t leave. If Red Bull don’t want you, you can find another spot with another team, we can think of something.”

“Fernando, I’m not leaving because the team doesn't want me. In fact, they offered me a 3 year extension.”

“That’s not how it was supposed to go, remember? We planned that-” His voice was kinder than it had been to you in many years, “We would go down in history together. Win together, retire together.”

“When push comes to shove, only one wins… We learned that the hard way.” I say, with a sad smile, “Life doesn’t always go as planned. And I got everything I could ever want from Formula 1. Now it’s time for new stuff.”

“What new stuff?”

“I want to have a family, Fernando. People don’t stick around long for this lifestyle, you know that-” You shook your head.

With one last look at Fernando, your eyes watered, and you walked away.

Sitting on the porch, you looked up at the sky, thinking of what’s next for you. It had been months since you announced your retirement from Formula 1. The new season had already begun. It was your birthday, a refreshing new one.

You heard steps coming closer and your heartbeat sped up as you saw Fernando walking up to you. He sat down by your side, holding a pint of ice cream and two spoons. He handed one to you and in silence, you started eating ice cream.

“I’ve been looking for you,” he said after a few minutes of silence.

“Was it hard to find me?” You asked, with a tentative smile.

“It only took me my whole life to find you again…” He said, wistfully, his eyes shining under moonlight and you didn’t know if those were unshed tears or not, “my best friend, my nena, my girl…”

“I’ve always been here. Right here.” You said, eyes watering. You weren’t sure you could explain what that here meant, but somehow you knew he would understand.

Fernando took your hand, gently placing it on his chest, right above his heart.

“Right here,” he whispered, pressing his hand above yours, over his beating heart, “you were always here.”

Then, he kissed you. For the first time in more than a decade, for what felt like the first time for both of you. As his other hand pulled you closer, the kiss deepened, like a prayer and a promise. Both of you knew there was a lot of resentment to navigate through, and a lot of feelings you’d both have to unravel and understand. But there was one thing that was always there, through hate, anger and hurt… And it was love, unshaken, steadfast love.

As you broke apart, Fernando pulled you into him, hugging you tight for a few minutes, before pulling away to hold your face with both hands, his eyes looking into yours with so much devotion it melted everything away.

“We will be alright.”

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#f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic #formula 1 #f1 #fernando alonso #formula one #fernando alonso x you #fernando alonso x reader #brocedes #formula 1 fic #formula one fanfiction

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pupyuj · 5 months ago

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the other nonie request…

now i miss big dick wony too :(

i need to be manhandle by her

remember this monumental day in diveland??? YEAH... WE FORGOT ABOUT THIS TOO QUICKLY, LET'S BRING IT BACK!!

rich bossy wony who likes to toy with you—her witty, annoying roommate who has quite the reputation as jang wonyoung’s personal… COMO SE DICE… pet! 🤭🤭 no literally bcs she could force you to wear a collar with her initials dangling in the middle for a day and you wouldn’t have a choice but to do it bcs she makes up for it with mind-blowing sex anyway 😵‍💫 she’s almost like a sugar mommy?? except that the only things she wants to spoil you with are lingerie and slutty clothes that she wants you to put on solely so she can rip them off of you 😭 and all you need to do to pay all that back is spread your legs and be a good girl for her :33

she does not gaf about you at all unfortunately! the only thing you’re good for in her eyes is sex and you know what, you’re fine with that bcs you also couldn’t care for her grumpy ass even if you tried! and all this animosity leads to a lot of hate sex 😭 like oh you’re not reciprocating her advances bcs you got shit to do?? nuh uh, that’s not allowed! you got home late and thus made wonyoung wait?? unacceptable! she rarely kisses you already and if you mess up it's all bites and stinging words... but you wouldn't say that you didn't like them of course 😋

probably loves it better if you turn out to have long hair bcs wony can just drag you around that away if she can't get you to wear those cute leashes that she spends her hard-earned money on just for you 🫣 nothing satisfies her ears more than hearing you wince or whine in pain whenever she just casually reaches over and pull your hair, sometimes even mockingly commending you for keeping it so healthy just for her 😣 it was definitely one of her main ways of getting her aggression out... other than fucking you senseless of course! she would see you stumbling about in the apartment drunk as hell at two-thirty in the morning and she wouldn't waste any time yelling profanities and degrading things to your face before dragging you to her bedroom by your hair bcs you couldn't keep your wasted ass mouth shut 😣😣

something better than completely tearing your clothes off of you is ruining them.. but still letting you wear them 😝 wonyoung likes the sight of your pretty little cotton candy pink blouse ripped open and missing a few buttons, your tights moderately ruined and your lingerie just barely pulled down to your knees while she has you bent over her bed taking her cock like the obedient living fleshlight that she molded you to be! 🫢 she enjoys it when you scream and moan her name freely in the air, loves it better when you try to move away from her just get some sense of control in the situation but eventually failing and just letting her use you... and sometimes she might even be successful in getting you to work yourself on her cock, sitting back and watching as you thrust yourself backwards into her..

AND THE MANHANDLING SO TRUEEEE wony might not look like it but she's freakishly strong 😭 most of the time when you're fucking, she really just does everything! even when she puts you in a position where you'd be on top, like cowgirl, she'd be holding your hips tightly and controlling your pace,, watching you fall apart above her brings her more pleasure than shooting her load inside your womb sometimes!

literally pretends that you don't exist on campus but as soon as she closes the door of your apartment she sticks to your side the entire day and you would see it as a thing if she wasn't constantly humiliating you in your ear and leaving reckless marks all over your body while making you cum all fucking night! wonyoung doesn't ever want to admit it but she's so fucking obsessed with you in the most disrespectful way possible 🤭

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minty364 · 9 months ago

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DPXDC Prompt #61 Part 2

Danny knew something was wrong. Jazz wasn’t the type to mess around and Danny knew she wouldn’t ask something like this.

Hanging up the phone Danny thought about his next course of action. Searching up Amity Park got results for some news articles but they were severely lacking headlines about anything ghost related. Another search for his parents this time and they existed but unfortunately they never got the portal working. Great that meant he was trapped in this universe with no easy way back.

Putting his phone away he slowly paced around the rooftop, wondering what steps he could take next. He couldn’t make his way back to Amity Park, he wondered if he could get the portal working but there wasn’t a guarantee they kept the portal in one piece when it didn’t work. He didn’t even know if his stamina could hold the flight back either. He doubted he could find a natural portal, the chance of another spawning nearby was abysmal. He had even left his wallet and keys in his backpack that he left in his locker, there was less chance of Dash stealing from him if he kept nothing of value on him in the first place.

Before Danny had time to make a solid plan the door leading down the stairs burst open and none other than Batman and Robin ran though. Danny had no interest in meeting his father, especially in an alternative universe. They seemed to glance around the roof before they landed on Danny. He only had a couple seconds before Robin ran at him and swung his sword at him. Danny barely dodged before jumping back, getting some distance from Robin.

He took a breath before realizing something, there wasn’t a current Robin in his world. It didn’t make sense, all of the Robins of his world were either retired into a new vigilante name or in the case of Jason Todd, dead. Danny kept up with the Wayne family and the Batfamily, partially because of Sam and Tucker, and partially because of his own curiosity. Sam and Tucker may not have known about Phantom but they were his best friends and he’d do everything to keep them safe.

This current Robin didn’t make any sense, Danny couldn’t make any sense of it. His thoughts caused him to lose focus for a moment and it was all Robin needed as Danny found himself on his back with Robin pointing his sword right at Danny's neck.

It took Danny a moment of staring at the sword until he realized it was his sword. The exact same way he weld back in the League, this WAS him in this universe. Danny couldn’t help but stare, he was a little dumbfounded. How did his counterpart in this world get away from the League? His thoughts were interrupted when Robin started speaking,

“Quiet clone! What does mother want now?” Oh, Danny didn’t like the sound of this.

Danny could admit it was weird hearing the other speak in his voice, “Clone? I’m not a clone.” Danny tried but he could tell Robin wasn’t buying it. Danny could tell Robin narrowed his eyes at him in frustration.

“What do you mean you're not a clone? Except for your eyes you're a carbon copy!” Danny could tell he was getting agitated which might not end well. Danny thought about how to go about this conversation and he decided in the end maybe ripping the bandaid would be the best way to go.

“I’m not a clone!” He repeated scooting a little ways away from the sword, Robin still had it pointed towards him but he didn’t move to attack, good maybe Danny could get some words out. “Alright this is going to sound crazy but I’m from an alternate universe.”

Robin paused like he was listening to something, probably a communication device. Then their Father Batman himself spoke.

“Robin, I need you on backup with Nightwing. I’ll handle things here,” Danny hadn’t ever heard his father speak in person and he felt a little terrified about the conversation he was about to have.

Robin gave him one more glare before heading out and grappling away. Batman approached Danny but stopped a ways away. Danny finally climbed back to his feet before Batman spoke.

“I believe you…” Danny was a little shocked at what he was hearing but he guessed Batman, one of the founders of the Justice League might have encountered some weird stuff in his life.

Batman took a heavy breath before continuing, “ Follow me we can discuss this more once we're back at the cave. I’m sure your version of me is worried sick.”

Danny decided not to say anything on that but followed behind.

The drive to the cave was mundane, Danny was just trying not to think about how difficult the next conversation would be.

Master Post:

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themissingnumbers · 19 days ago

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WARNING: FLASHING/GLITCHING IMAGE UNDER THE CUT. This also contains descriptions of gore and body horror.

[ @pkmn-monochrome - Previously... ]

Red narrows his eyes as he stares down at Cody, shutting up and listening as they explain. The corners of his lips twitch as they finish, the shadow cast over his eyes falling ever so slightly heavier.

"... So, that's how it is, hm?"

"Barely... any different..."

"... Exactly what I..."

"..."

"I've gotta say, you've really got a way with words! You're so articulate when you're scared, Cody."

He snickers to himself, hopping off the grave and pacing around, looking between the other and the Ghosts.

"Observant, too~! You're right, I really couldn't be bothered to care what you think of me. I'm not exactly here to make friends. I'm sure that'd the last thing you'd want, anyways! See, I'm just here to satiate some curiosity."

He leans in front of Blastoise, tilting his head.

"I would like to formally apologize to the oversized Sobble-in-a-shell for my language. I'm not exactly used to being around others... Twenty-six years of imprisonment wouldn't really teach a guy to have a filter, heh."

He waves a hand nonchalantly, completing the circle.

"And as for your marketable figurine of a rat, well... I'm not interested in being a snotty kid forever. Unfortunately, I don't need any hacking done to screw up my game badly enough to change some things around.

But, hey... I'm not here to make chit-chat with a couple of one-note monsters. It's all about you, the most REAL one in this room. Cody, Cody, Cody, star of the show~! Let's get back to the point. I know you don't exactly think highly of... things like me. What was it you told that one poor girl- 'You've had more than a decade to get over yourself,' right?"

He throws his head back, cackling as if the old remark is the funniest thing he's heard in his life.

"I meant it when I said that I don't CARE. But I AM nosy, and your vitriol towards REDs in particular is just so interesting... Even seein' the face clearly strikes a nerve. So honestly, I'd LOVE to hear EXACTLY what you're thinking..."

"If only you were willing to spit out any fighting words, that is! But you've been so much more polite than I expected, after all the reading I've done..."

He passes by in front of the other, looking off into the distance.

In that moment- a moment of passing footsteps, of the blink of an eye, of a lack of care... something heavy fills the air.

A damning presence looks down on Cody with a dozen eyes, countless mouths, gnashing teeth and twitching claws, two hundred and fifty-five whispering voices. It's a disgusting and shambling creature, a sick and unholy patchwork of amalgamated hearts and yellowed blood, wrapped up in tattered flesh and backwards fur, mismatched feathers and scales and blubber and skin. Writhing, wheezing, bleeding, rotting, every misplaced piece existing out of sync.

Something impossible. Unknowable. Invalid.

The feeling it imposes upon them is suffocating. Like not breathing for years, like something vile filling their lungs, a sickness that is rising, thrashing, tearing, desperate for a taste of "fresh meat" if one could even call a dead trainer that anymore.

"It almost seems like there's something you're worried about," the voices from within it hiss, layered countless times under the casual and teasing tone of Red's own that is lost under the madness...

... Yet the instant the words spill from his lips, that awful sensation is gone as quickly as it arrived. Everything is as it should be. Despite how intense it was... It was little more than two seconds of some sick kind of illusion.

Was it even real? Was that pain all false? Red hasn't lifted a finger, no less even looked Cody's way.

It's as if nothing even happened.

"I wonder, I wonder, what it could be~?" the man babbles on as he walks away, feigning ignorance- because he must be, he must be screwing around with them at this point, right? How could he NOT be?

And now he's laughing- giggling to himself under his breath, like this whole ordeal is some joke that only he's in on.

"After all, I'm just some harmless little video game character. I'm not even real, right?" he chides, "Certainly nothing like one of your big bad players who could crush your shoddy little cartridge cause you decided to be a little bi..."

He trails off, managing to catch himself.

"... Decided to misbehave. What, you don't think I hold any real power over this place, do you~? I can't cause..."

"... Permanent damage."

He slows to a stop several paces away from the monochromatic trainer, spinning on his heel to look at them with a smile that could be described as warm, but...

From heart, to flesh, to grin- there's not a single warm thing about this man in this moment. Only proven further by a final remark, laced with a threatening kind of curiosity.

"So would you like to stop trying to play nice and tell me what you really think of me... Or are you gonna let me get bored?"

#missing numbers #pokemon monochrome #mn noncanon #body horror #gore #[<- described in text]#eyestrain #flashing #scopophobia #glitching #[HOHHGOH ITS FINALLY DONE. ive been juggling a buncha different stuff for a while but i really hope this is worth it TvT]#[i like writing red being scary this is fun]#['i'll treat interactions and rps more casually' i said. and Yet]

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pompomqt · 1 month ago

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Journey to the West Chapter 53

Welcome back to this week's chapter of Journey to the West with @journeythroughjourneytothewest. And as you can probably see from this week's meme, it's *that* chapter this week. So lets get into it shall we?

We begin this chapter where we left off last time, with someone calling out to the Pilgrims. Turns out it's the local mountain gods, and they still have the rice Monkey left with them. They kept it warm and everything. Tripitaka is touched by this, and thanks Monkey, and even says that he should have listened to him and not left the circle. Monkey just says, that he's the one who suffered most for leaving the circle, because he then ended up in someone else's circle anyways. When Pigsy tries to ask what he means by that- Monkey just snaps back that he knows this whole situation was actually his fault. Which- agreed. Anyways Tripitaka say's he'll listen to him next time, but I think we all know that that promise isn't going to last long. Still the pilgrimage is able to have a nice meal together before setting off again on their journey.

Now that we have finally wrapped up last week's adventure, it's time for a new one, let's see what kind of mountain or river demon they have to deal with next. They travel for a bit without incident until spring arrives, and in return they arrive at a small idyllic stream. Surprisingly they don't even need to fight a demon this time to get across, they just call over the local ferryman, who actually turns out to be a ferry woman. Monkey tries to ask why a women is doing this job, but she just smiles mysteriously. That's not ominous at all. Either way however they get to the other side without incident.

They pay the ferry woman, however before they can move on, Tripitaka decides that the water looks very appetizing and asks Pigsy to get him some. Remember kids- don't drink water directly from rivers- especially if there is a village just a few paces away that you can get water from. However I guess this logic didn't exist back then, because Pigsy gets him some river water and also drinks some himself. After that Tripitaka once again mounts his horse and they continue on their way.

Half an hour into their journey though, Tripitaka and Pigsy start having terrible stomach aches, and their stomachs even start to swell. Since they can't continue on like this, Monkey stops at the local inn, and tells Tripitaka that he'll get him some hot liquid and ask if there is an apothecary around. So Monkey approaches the first friendly old lady he see's, and tells them about their situation. However once the old women hears that they drank from the river she starts laughing and even calls for others to come and see the latest town gossip.

Now as much as Monkey might appreciate some fun and games- he does not appreciate everyone poking and laughing at his master rather when there is something seriously wrong with him. So he grabs the old women and demands that she give them some hot water or else. The old women then shakily explains that boiled water won't help them now. As the old woman goes on to explain, they are in the country of women, where no men live. So when a woman wants to have a child, she drinks some water from the Child and Mother River... the very same river that Pigsy and Tripitaka drank from.

So Tripitaka and Pigsy start freaking out about the fact that they are pregnant, especially since they are both men and physically can't give birth. Meanwhile Sandy and Monkey make sure to crack some jokes at their expense. Anyways Tripitaka asks the old woman if she has any medicine that will fix this, and the old woman says that although typical drugs don't work on this type of pregnancy there is a way. They just have to go to Male-Undoing Mountain, and enter the Child Destruction Cave and drink water from the Abortion Stream. All real names I pulled directly from this translated book by the way, I am not making this up.

Unfortunately getting the water won't be so easy as simply going to the mountain since last year a daoist immortal named True Immortal Compliant moved into the cave and started charging exorbitant prices for even the smallest glass of water. Which will be impossible for monks like them to pay- or at least it would be if Monkey ever paid for anything in his life. So Monkey borrows a large porcelain bowl from the old woman who tells him to try and bring back as much as possible for emergency. Then after leaving Sandy in charge, Monkey takes off with his cloud somersault. This has the added effect of impressing old women so much, that she is sure to take extra care of Tripitaka in the meantime.

So Monkey arrives at the indicated mountain and spots the abby, and a young daoist hanging out outside of it. So Monkey politely greets the daoist, and explains why he's here. When the Doaist asks where all his offerings are, Monkey says they are monks so they don't have anything like that. The Daoist tries to shoo him away until he comes back with offerings, but Monkey insists that the Daoist should just tell his master that Sun Wukong is here to see if that will change his mind.

So the Daoist goes in and tells the immortal that a 'Sun Wukong' is here to get some abortion water. Unfortunately, saying this, seems to have worsened Monkey's case, since the Immortal comes storming out hook in hand and demands to know where this 'Sun Wukong' fellow is. Monkey claims the name, and even insists that he's the real Sun Wukong when the Immortal asks. Which fair enough- I'm not sure who would be crazy enough to try and pretend to be Sun Wukong. Well... maybe there is one person but that's a story for another day.

Anyways turns out that this immortal has a bone to pick with Sun Wukong- surprising I know. For once though this isn't about his rampage through heaven- it's actually about the 'Great King Holy Child' Aka Red boy. Aka, the Demon Bull King's son, who had the power of the true fire of Samadhi who is currently working for Guanyin. Anyways, turns out that that Red Boy is this Immortal's nephew, and he isn't to happy about what happened to Red Boy. Monkey tries to insist that working for Guanyin is a great position, while the Immortal argues that it's better to be a King then someone else's servant.

Anyways the two begin to fight, and Monkey is clearly the superior fighter. So soon enough the Daoist retreats back into his Abby. Rather then chasing him down to try and attack him again, Monkey just heads to the well, only to see that the Daoist is guarding it. And while the Daoist can't beat Monkey in a fair fight, he seems perfectly capable of preventing him from drawing water from the well. After some back and forth, Monkey ends up fumbling the bucket and dropping it into the well. Since plan A failed, Monkey decides it's time for Plan B, aka get someone else to get the well water while he distracts the immortal.

So Monkey leaves to go get Sandy, and comes back to the village to find Tripitaka and Pigsy still groaning in pain. Sandy asks if Monkey was able to get the water, and Monkey explains the situation, and that he came back to have Sandy help him. Tripitaka is a bit worried about both Monkey and Sandy leaving while him and Pigsy are so indisposed, but the old women assures him that she will take good care of them, and won't hurt them. While Monkey wonders how any of these old ladies even could harm them- the old woman explains that while she and her cohorts are to old to be interested in men anymore- the same doesn't go for the younger ladies. Who would probably rip them apart in their eagerness. And on that ominous note- they borrow a bucket and some rope from the old lady before heading off again.

Once they arrive back at the mountain, Monkey tells Sandy to hide himself until Monkey provokes battle, and once the Immortal is sufficiently distracted, Sandy can grab the water. Plan in place, Monkey approaches the door and demands that the immortal open up. The Immortal isn't to eager to fight Monkey after Monkey kicked his ass last time, but his Doaist follower hypes him up, saying that Monkey may be able to win in a straight fight, but the Immortal was able to keep him from the well. So that means they are completely evenly matched!

Now filled with unearned confidence the Immortal goes out to fight Monkey again. While those two duke it out, Sandy heads for the well, but is stopped by the young Daoist. However Sandy doesn't play no games, and when the Daoist tries to stop him, Sandy breaks his arm. Better that then his neck I guess. With no one left to stop him, Sandy successfully draws water from the well. After that he calls to Monkey and tells him that they've got the water, so he can stop pretending that his is anything close to a fair fight now.

So Monkey says he'll spare the demon for the Bull Demon King's sake, as long as he stops blackmailing the women here out of their water. However I guess Monkey didn't kick his ass hard enough, because the Immortal tries to use his hook to swipe Monkey's legs again, only for Monkey to take the hook and break it into four pieces. Now that the immortal has been thoroughly beaten, Monkey and Sandy take their leave.

So Monkey and Sandy return, and the old woman is delighted with how much water they've brought back. Pigsy threatens to drink the whole bucket of course, but the old woman says that if he does that his intestines will probably dissolve. Which is enough to convince even Pigsy to stick to the recommended dose. So Tripitaka and Pigsy both drink some of the water- and after they... ahem... 'evacuate their bowls' the two are no longer pregnant. After that the old woman is kind enough to prepare a bath and dinner for them, and asks that Monkey leave the rest of the water with her. Since apparently the cost of the water will be enough to pay for her funeral expenses. Fun. And on that note it is once again time for the pilgrims to continue on their Journey to the West.

Current Sun Wukong Stats: Names/Titles: Monkey, The Stone Monkey, The Handsome Monkey King, Sun Wukong (Monkey awakened to the void), Bimawen (Banhorseplague), The Great Sage Equal To Heaven and Pilgrim Sun. Immortality: 5 + 94,000 years Weapon: The Compliant Golden Hooped Rod Abilities: 72 Transformations, Cloud-Somersault, Ability to transform his individual hairs, super strength, Ability to Summon Wind, Water restriction charm, and the ability to change into a huge war form, ability to duplicate his staff, ability to immobilize others, the ability to put others to sleep, and the Fiery eyes and Diamond Pupils, intimidating horses, churning large bodies of water, sleeplessness, seizing the wind, enhanced smell, discerning good and evil within a thousand miles, Spirit Summoning, lock picking, object transformation, distance reduction, vanishing in a flash of light, super healing, transforming others, and Invisibility Demon Kill Count: 9+ Unknown Number of Minions Human Kill Count: 1009 God's Defeated: 23 + Unknown number Defeats: 6 Crime List: Robbery, Murder, Mass Murder, Arson, Theft, Coercion, Threatening a Government Official, Resisting Arrest, Assault, Forgery, Employee Theft, False Imprisonment, Impersonating a Government Official, Treason, attempted murder, failure to control or report a dangerous fire, desecrating a corpse, breaking and entering, trespassing, violating Tree Law, looting corpses, trading counterfeit goods, criminal threat, animal abuse, Assisting or Instigating Escape, Damage to Religious Property, contaminating a substance for human consumption and Identity Fraud. Cry Count: 8 + 3 fake cries Mountains Trapped Under: 4

Current Tang Sanzang stats: Names/Titles: River Float, Xuanzang, Tang Sanzang, Tripitaka and the Tang Monk Abilities: Curing Blindness, making branches point a certain direction (allegedly), reciting sutras, pretty privilege, memorization, Heart Sutra and Meditation. Cry Count: 27 Tight Fillet Spell Uses: 31 Paralyzed by fear: 5 Bandit Problems: 2 Kidnapped by demons: 8 Falling Off Horses: 8

Current Bai Long Ma Stats: Names/Titles: Bai Long Ma (White Dragon Horse), Prince of the Western Ocean, and third prince jade dragon of the dragon king Aorun Abilities: Transforming into a human, a water snake, and a horse, eating a horse in one bite, flight, Magic of Water Restriction, Singing, and Sword Dancing. Cry Count: 1 Crime List: Arson, and Grave Disobedience. Contributions to the plot: 2 Kidnapped by demons: 1

Current Zhu Wuneng Stats: Names/Titles: The Marshal of the Heavenly Reeds, Zhu Wuneng (Pig who is aware of ability), Zhu Ganglie, Pigsy, Idiot and Eight Rules. Weapon: Rake Abilities: 36 Transformations, parting water, fighting underwater, cloud soaring, size enhancement and CPR Demon Kill Count/Kill steals: 2 Kidnapped by Demons: 4 Human Kill Count: 1 Failed Flirtation/romances Attempts: 3 Cry Count: 2 Crime List: Sexual Harassment, Murder, Kidnapping, arson, defamation, Damage to Religious Property, contaminating a substance for human consumption, Identity Fraud and Theft

Current Sha Wujing Stats: Names/Titles: The Curtain-Raising General, Sha Wujing (Sand Aware of Purity), Sandy and Sha Monk Weapon: Monster Taming Staff Abilities: Fighting underwater, Cloud soaring, and fetching water from a well. Demon Kill Count: Unknown number of minions. Kidnapped by Demons: 3 Human Kill Count: 1 Crime List: Breaking a Crystal Cup, murder, desecration of a human corpse, Damage to Religious Property and contaminating a substance for human consumption

#journey to the west #jttw read through #jttw #journeythroughjourneytothewest #sun wukong #tang sanzang #zhu wuneng #sha wujing #It's good to see Sandy finally getting some screen time #especially since he was hilarious this chapter #Also Tripitaka was a trooper this chapter #He only cried once!

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chibi-celesti · 20 days ago

Text

Time for Your Tune Up(Skully J. Graves)

~TFYTU~

Skully still found this Halloween to be one for him and Jack to remember! Twelve mysterious individuals(and a cute cat mascot!) in outfits in homage of his dear hero, Jack Skellington, shook him down all the way to the marrow of his bones! He (minorly) forgave them for their ignorance of not knowing who Skellington-sama was. They were on thin ice.

The tour he gave them of Halloween Town was sublime. Their curiosity of knowing an elusive admirable king of Scares. An entrepreneur of fears. A God among the dead(take it down a notch, Scully)! He reveled in being their guide of this town he and many call home.

He was swept up in speaking about such history, he neglected to see that his entourage had slowed in their pace. Skully snapped his neck so quickly as he saw them talk amongst themselves. Slithering in the shadows he strained his ears, red eyes glimmering in excitement at what gossip he will hear.

“- need someone to stay with him.”

‘Him?’ Which him is it? Skully thought owlishly.

“He does look seconds away from vomiting his lungs out.”

Blood orange eyes beamed hearing that. ‘Oooooo! Sounds exciting!’

“Does he even have any on his person?”

‘Any what exactly?’ Curiosity will kill him(happily), Skully creeped behind the crowded boys and cat.

“I doubt it. And our magic isn't strong enough to craft into existence.”

“Craft what exactly?”

The NRC students, sans a few, jumped at the sudden sound of their host's voice. “EEKK!/ Why You-!”

He only laughed at the terror he bestowed them. “You should've seen your faces. They were filled with so much dread. I love it!”

“...” The others were not as amused as he was. And I’m sure most of them popped a blood vessel.

“Is there an issue, Skully-san?” Riddle asked, keeping his temper in check.

“I was wondering what your little tea party was all about. You suddenly stopped following me. I was getting lonely.” He cried.

“It's nothing to worry about, Skully-san.”

“You sure, Jamil-chan. You were all whispering about someone seconds away from vomiting their lungs out~”

“You were eavesdropping?!”

“You boys weren't subtle about your group huddle. Ghosts, the wind; even the Hills and spider infested catacombs and mausoleum have ears and listen to everything.”

“...”

“Our friend is a little lightheaded. He needs to take his medicine to fix it, but unfortunately neither he nor us have any extras on our persons.”

“I see, I see.” It was obvious to him which of these brats’ health wasn't doing too great. “Could it be your colorful friend, Yumei-chan?”

“How did-!” A bone decorated glove fixed his glasses, and then casually pointed to the boy in question sleeping on the ground by the fountain like a corpse. “And you're not quite subtle.”

The boy with the eyepatch-Leona-growled at him. ‘How cute,’ He thought.

“Y-yes. We're worried about him, and were thinking about finding a way to help him.” The smaller boy-Epel-confessed.

‘Is that so?’“Hmmm~. Perhaps I can be of assistance~”

“Say that again?”

“May I be of assistance to your friend? Surely there's something I can do to help.”

“I seriously doubt it. A deranged weeabo of your stature would react like any normie unused to this.”

“I concur.” Vil agreed with Idia.

“Come now, mina-san. Do you all really wish to argue, or do you want your friend to live?”

That was quick enough to stop their arguing. He couldn't help but laugh at their collective reluctance for his help. “Fine. But be quick about it!”

Malleus Draconia, who was a bit more protective over the ailing boy, stepped away so Skully could get closer. He gave a quick glance at the symptoms shown on Yumei’s face and body language. Grave’s deduction skills were spot on; another like he needed that particular geode to live. Good thing he came prepared.

He cleared his throat. “This will need a bit more of a special touch from me. I do apologize in advance, gentlemen.”

“Huh?” They all said.

Carefully the eccentric boy peeled away Yumei’s collar, exposing his Installer Port on his neck. He internally squealed at the sight, and leaned ever so close…

A small moan escaped from unconscious lips, as Yumei twisted and turned from the sensation on his most sensitive part of his body. His classmates’ jaws hit the floor witnessing Graves committing an adulterous act on their friend. ‘WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH PROVIDING AID TO HIM!?!?!?’ They all thought.

Despite the unconscious state he was in, the Reyvateil whined and clung to Skully as he kissed and licked at his Port shamelessly. Tears prickling his eyes all the while Skully was intimate with his neck.

If there was a time they wished they had their magic on them it would be now. The whole NRC group suffered the seven stages of shock, unyielding rage, and envy(except for Grim who was hiding in Tsunotarou's jacket, and Epel whose eyes were covered by Vil the moment it started). Even Trey and Jae, the most(somewhat) reserved boys were debating on either reprimanding Skully, or think of millions gruesome ways to beat him up.

The shaggy haired boy left Yumei’s neck with one last kiss, and casually pulled out a Life Extending Agent from his tailcoat pocket. He placed the Agent right on the Port and smiled, seeing the worried lines and wrinkles fade away leaving the bluenette in a state of peace.

Trey blinked his eyes many times trying to process what he just witnessed. “He…had one?”

“You…all this time, you had one?”

“WHAT BLASPHEMY IS THIS!?!?! HOW DID YOU PROCURE A DIQUILITY CRYSTAL, HUMAN?!”

“That, my friends, is a secret I'll take to my grave~” He grinned, drinking in the Night Raven students’ frustration.

Later, back home in Twisted Wonderland:

Yumei was rubbing at his neck carefully, minding the placement of his port. He couldn’t shake off this nagging sensation forming in his mind.

“Oi, Yumei. You ok?”

“I’m fine, Grim,” He petted his companion.

“Promise.”

“You keep rubbing at your neck. What gives?”

“I dunno. It’s like, someone touched it, but like…” He shook his head. “Nevermind. It’s nothing.”

“Nothing, my high end! Spill it to your boss!”

“No!”

“C’mon! Please?”

“No.”

“Please, with a tuna can on top~”

“NO! Last thing I want is to traumatize you again!” He donned his witch’s hat.

“I was not traumatized!” He turned his away in denial.

“Sure~” He picked up his furry friend. “Now, let’s go trick-or-treating!”

“Candy time~~~”

They stepped out of the decorated Ramshackle and ran into the festivities of Halloween in Twisted Wonderland, passing by many visitors who came by on campus. Almost bumping into a shaggy, black and white haired youth with orange eyes.

“Ah! So sorry. I was in a hurry and-”

Blood orange eyes and a small smile acquainted the duo. “It’s fine. Just be mindful of your surroundings~” He kissed the Reyvateil’s hand, and then Grim’s forehead, which earned him a complaint.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry again.” He bowed before taking off. The eyes of the odd stranger never left his form, even after he vanished into the crowd.

#twisted wonderland #twst #ar tonelico #twst x ar tonelico au #Time for Your Tune Up #skully j graves #skully j graves x yuu #twst skully

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tossawary · 10 months ago

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I've only seen 3 episodes of the new "Percy Jackson" show so far and my main complaint with the first two episodes was pacing. I thought the pacing in the third episode was much improved and overall very good, but a lot about the first two episodes felt rushed to me.

I think episodes 1 and 2 both could have been two episodes each to slowly introduce us to Percy, Grover, Sally, Mr. Brunner, Mrs. Dodds and the Minotaur, and then to the Camp, to Annabeth, Luke, Clarisse, the satyrs and the different cabins, etc.. I mean, I think what was there was pretty solid! I like the actors! I don't think it's badly written (I think making Luke show Percy around the camp was a good choice to make later things hit harder, since we will have more time with Annabeth on the quest itself later), but I would have liked more breathing room scenes, like when Percy burned the blue jellybeans, for things to settle in, and I blame the studio for not giving this show a longer season to work with.

As it stands now, the first two episodes felt more intended for existing fans, rather than for onboarding new fans. I feel like a frog being thrown into boiling water instead of the water coming up to a boil around me. If you're not familiar with this religion & lore already, if you don't know who the Twelve Olympians are, the introduction to the Camp doesn't give you much of a foothold, which is quite unfortunate when PJO was many people's introduction to this stuff.

The blue food is not really explained. The tension of the mystery with Mrs. Dodds kind of gets thrown out because it all happens so fast. There's no time to slowly build a feeling of normalcy and then wrongness. Percy's relationship with Chiron is undermined by how little time they get together. Percy finding out who his father is happens SO QUICKLY that we don't have a proper understanding of what's wrong about his claiming when it happens. The camp looks cool and I want to see more of it! How it functions is barely explained! We barely get to meet anyone! It feels like Percy is there for less than 48 hours before he's leaving on a quest again, so there's very little time to build up his attachment to it. I have less emotional investment in Percy's conflict with Clarisse because we barely get to understand what daily life at Camp Half-blood might be like (although I understand putting less focus on Clarisse now knowing that you'll be able to play catch-up during future storylines).

I think the show is making pretty good choices with the time that they have, I just wish they had MORE time. I don't think that they have to include every little detail and scene and character from the books. I like a lot of the changes they've made just fine. I just feel like the writing and acting is being undermined by the fact that there's very little time to set things up so that you can knock them down, and that it takes more time to show something visually than it does to read a sentence. Everything in episodes 1 and 2 is moving so quickly that some of the magical aspects feel... less magical to me because there's less time to develop contrast. And the show doesn't have as much time to potentially develop cool NEW things, to slide in more new funny character interactions, because it's all so smushed down. I want more time to see these actors shine together.

(Although, admittedly, it is VERY funny to feel like Percy is stuck in some sort of speedrun version of the story. Every day is a new rollercoaster of Percy not knowing what the fuck is going on and going with it because he's not given the time to ask questions. Sure! This might as well happen next! His life sucks already. That part feels very true to the books, although I think the feeling could still be preserved if the show was given more time.)

I'm tired of 8 episode seasons. I don't know if I think that PJO needs a full 20+ episodes to tell the story of the first book, probably not, but being constrained to only 8 instead of at least 10-16 feels disappointing.

#tossawary pjo #tossawary watching #spoilers

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deusvervewrites · 7 months ago

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Saiyan: so, Tsu is potentially kidnapped by her evil siblings, Izuku is kidnapped by Ashido (unwilling on her part), how would the equivalent of kamino go here?

Also, can I just say, I have the image of Izuku, after being released from the ECW and restrained by Garaki, finding out about Ashido's whole situation, and then forgiving her with no hesitation, providing the thing she needs to stand up to Garaki and fight back.

Much like Ojiro and magic, I've been sitting on this one for a little bit.

Something tells me you're not going to like the answer.

So to recap, Ashido has captured Midoriya, and Asui's siblings have nabbed her as well, for personal reasons unrelated to Garaki's plan.

See, Garaki wanted Midoriya as bait for Inko, and it worked. She and All Might, plus other Heroes, stormed the Kamino base much like canon. But it wasn't the League waiting for them. It was Ashido, who was already crying by the time they came in.

Ashido, who Garaki had already ordered to absorb them.

It's subtle, so I'm not surprised that nobody caught it, but when someone asked if she would get One For All if she hypothetically absorbed an OFA holder, I responded not that she would, but that she does.

Midoriya is released from whatever he was trapped in (probably a bottle) and confronted with a badly sobbing Ashido, who now has her own green monkey tail and two large tufts of blonde hair swept up from her hairline.

I did tell you that things for Ashido would get worse before they got better.

So now Ashido has access to Inko and Yagi's combined Ki, plus One For All in addition to all of her existing abilities. Garaki no longer has a use for Midoriya as bait and orders him beaten and absorbed.

(Note: he thinks that Ashido is still faking having a personality, because Garaki is an idiot. "Crying will make them lower their guard! Brilliant" --local dumbass)

The fight doesn't go well for Midoriya. He is completely outclassed by Ashido and it's taking everything he's got to not die/get candied. And then Ashido starts begging him to put her down before she can actually kill him, because now that she's been ordered, she can't not otherwise.

Midoriya, seeing his friend trapped in her own body, his mother and his idol both having been absorbed by her and as far as he knows gone forever, snaps.

Garaki, who saw Inko achieve Legendary Super Saiyan, understands instantly that he's badly fucked up when Midoriya's Ki turns as golden as his hair.

Going Super Saiyan turns the tides, as since Ashido can't use Inko's own transformation, Midoriya has closed the gap between them and is now keeping pace with her. But that's not enough. Despite his determination, he can't get her to break through Garaki's programming.

In on a one-on-on fight, one of them would die here.

Midoriya isn't fighting alone.

With Midoriya now strong enough to match Ashido, Asui can finally close the distance and join the fray without fear of getting hit by stray shots, bringing up her own history and trying to help Ashido break free. And then Hagakure arrives, loudly announcing that she was raised to be an assassin but she's here now to be a Hero. Ashido's Hero if that's what it takes. And Hagakure didn't come alone, either. The rest of Class 1-A is with her. With three of their classmates having been kidnapped (including, again, Asui, the sane one), no force on earth could keep these feral children away.

You're right, Midoriya forgave her without hesitation. No, that's not enough. He was furious on her behalf for what Garaki had done to her.

That alone didn't save Ashido.

But everyone?

For the first time in her life, Ashido, faced with an order from Garaki, makes herself hesitate. She stopped fighting. Crumpled to the ground and wailed, surrounded and comforted by her class and friends.

Garaki, correctly concluding that he should get the fuck out of here before one of these kids remembers that he's still in the splash zone, tries to sneak away.

Unfortunately for him, there's one other thing he forgot to consider.

Inko's wife.

Sure it took her a bit to get to Japan once the news showed what was happening in Kamino, so the kids managed to deal with it by the time Star and Stripe got there, but she still had her own pound of flesh she wanted to take from Garaki.

(Oh, by the way, people Ashido absorbs are effectively trapped in her body, not dead. Free from Garaki's influence, she's able to release them unharmed.)

#asks #saiyan au

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fruitbasketball · 6 months ago

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Okay, you see me on that because that's the only thing I have opinions on. I feel like next year is a better bet just because there's near certainty she'll be #1, which she deserves and was unfortunately not gonna happen if she declared this year. Her possibly getting the natty like she wants and getting more experience and media attention now that cc is gone is a positive too but I feel like people think there's no shot at them winning so they're complaining about everything I guess they think this season will make her draft stock lower or something idk the only thing everyone agrees on is that she don't be aggressive enough but no one agrees on what to do about it hence the fighting. I think the disconnect could be that some people are coming at it from a Paige focused point and others from a general Uconn focused point if that makes sense idk how to explain it better. Which I get because I got invested through Paige so I'm definitely interested in her and seeing her be great, but she doesn't win unless the team wins.

i think (and full respect to charli my texas sister) if paige had been allowed to do a one and done like they do in the men’s game, she would’ve been the #1 pick in the 2021 draft

uconn dropped in the final four that year to arizona, she did not win a natty. she STILL would have gone #1, and i’m sure you can find me a number of ppl who agree on that.

i think there is very little paige can do to lower her draft stock other than get injured again (astaghfirullah)

i’m always gonna come at shit from a uconn perspective bc i’m a uconn fan before i even knew paige existed, but i can’t help but honestly think they’re the same thing here

like teams already know paige is a dominant point guard. they knew her ability to pace the floor and distribute the ball YEARS ago, they knew it coming out of HIGH SCHOOL. she’s displaying smth now that a lot of #1/top picks in the last couple of years have really lacked and that’s versatility. obviously, paige is not going to be a big when she gets to the league - she’s hardly one now. but her off ball movement, her defensive game, geno is putting all of that on display. so, yes, it helps uconn win, because PAIGE BEING ON THE FLOOR helps uconn win. but it also increases her draft stock imo.

#wbb #wcbb #uconn wbb #uconn #uconn huskies #paige bueckers #ask #wnba

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camirami · 1 year ago

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I have soooo many thoughts about the Scott Pilgrim anime.

Unfortunately none of my friends have watched it yet so I'm quietly going insane. Fortunately Tumblr exists! So I get to scream into the void and rave about this gem!!

Going in, I felt the pacing for the first episode felt way too fast?? Was really disappointed because it seemed we skipped too many steps forward to the big fight? Then OHHH boy suddenly it made perfect sense.

Scott, btw, has immaculate rizz. Can't believe it worked.

I was on the fence whether or not that was different good or different bad, but the second episode kept me in. Third episode all but confirmed I wasn't jumping ship at any point

I absolutely ADORE how the other characters in Scott and Ramona's lives get a lot more love. Though we got some hints that the league wasn't all that bad in previous adaptations (well, mainly just the one ex), the anime really fleshes them out and shows hey!! They have their own side of the story!!

About Ramona: I'm glad they made it more believable that she's actually in lesbians with Scott. They switched their positions and instead showed her being the one to go completely gaga over him for the entire show, something the rest of the cast consistently point out makes zero sense!! Total dumbass move on her part. They're perfect for each other god

I know I praise the show for fleshing out characters, but I guess the price for that is some important figures get pushed to the background. I guess being an adaptation it assumes the viewer will have read and watched both the graphic novels and the movie and wouldn't need to know more about these characters? Honestly not too affected by that actually

That being said, the anime doesn't require you to immerse yourself in the preceding comic/movie. People new to the series will still have a blast!! But your viewing experience would be vastly enhanced if you actually did read and watch them because they go well hand-in-hand

The game and the movie had amazing soundtracks, so it's no surprise that the anime would deliver on that front as well (but I might just be a bit biased just because of the mortal kombat theme in the finale)

But actually surprising, is the voice cast was very good?? I knew going in the cast from the film was gonna be the English voice casts, but I was a bit skeptical because live-action actors don't always do a good job doing VA work (LOOKING AT YOU CRISPRAT). There was never a moment where they came off as awkward.

Despite some very glaring changes, the show retains pretty much the same story beats and themes as the book, but with an additional focus on Ramona's own tendency to run away from her problems. The finale still ends with them wanting and trying to be better for each other, but this time everyone gets a happy ending!! So I think that kinda makes it better than everything that came before it

My dad talked about how amazing he thought the Scott Pilgrim movie was and I'm gonna take SO MUCH JOY knowing he'll be seething by the first episode alone. This shit is so gay. Absolute 🔥

#scott pilgrim takes off #scott pilgrim vs the world #scott pilgrim #ramona flowers

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ninja-muse · 9 months ago

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February was a pretty good month! I read some books I really loved (and a couple that were simply meh), I got in a father-daughter visit and had really good luck at Scrabble, the weather was mostly not awful, and even if inventory at work took longer than expected, I survived it without brain mush, which has happened before. I am still the fastest scanner! My title holds.

Regular readers will be unsurprised to learn that Eve by Cat Bohannon and Mirrored Heavens by Rebecca Roanhorse were my top reads of the month, or that What Feasts At Night by T. Kingfisher ranks third. My T. Kingfisher problem is at least a year old, after all. (Also I read a couple delightful picture books, so be sure to click through to find them!)

I'm personally more surprised by my lowest picks, because they both sounded so up my alley but fell flat for nearly completely different reasons. The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store ended up feeling disjointed and like it was trying for a theme it couldn't quite grasp, and A Market of Dreams and Desires hit all kinds of tropes I love, right down to random Dickens references and weird steampunk machines, but tied everything together a little too neatly for me. Ah well.

And right in the middle of my list is my sole physical TBR read of the month: The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz. This managed to tick off "Canadian author" and "classic" at the same time, so I get triple points. (This might have had a hand in me picking it.) Duddy has aged surprisingly well, in that it's still pretty fast-paced and amusing and also in that Richler wrote it with the understanding that scam artistry, hypermaterialism, and misogyny were bad and y'know what? They still are. I would recommend if you're looking for a Canadian teen anti-hero, more than anything. Duddy is a trainwreck and you can't look away.

I managed to get through the month with only three books hauled. (We won't talk about ARCs but the book fairies were kind.) The Unfortunate Traveller and Under a Pendulum Sun were bought during the habitual father-daughter bookstore date, and both because I never thought I'd see them and figured I might never see them again. The Unfortunate Traveller is essays and travel writing by a guy who co-wrote with Shakespeare and I didn't know it even existed. Under the Pendulum Sun was recced to me somewhere (here? bookish website algorithms?) and since it's essentially a gothic novel with properly weird fairies, it's been on my list.

The third book was a total surprise. Apparently I helped crowdfund it in 2019 and they've only just managed to get it printed and also I said I wanted a physical copy? The things we learn. Anyway, it's essays on aromanticism, agender identity, and asexuality so that tracks.

And I know I said I wasn't going to talk about ARCs but I got some good ones this last month and also in January, and there's a lot of them that are out or soon to be out and I'm having that problem where I want to be reading all of them at once. March is going to be interesting and probably a little panic-inducing.

Click through to see everything I read this month, in the rough order of how glad I was to have read them.

Eve - Cat Bohannon

A history of human evolution, through the lens of the female body.

8.5/10

warning: touches on sexism, mental illness, suicide, miscarriage, and rape

reading copy

Mirrored Heavens - Rebecca Roanhorse

The fractures following the eclipse have deepened and no one can see a way back to peace that doesn’t involve bloodshed. Out in June

8/10

Indigenous cast, 🏳️‍🌈 POV characters (bisexual, third gender), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (third gender, sapphic), Black-Pueblo author

warning: war, torture, mentions of child abuse

reading copy

What Feasts At Night - T. Kingfisher

Alex Easton has returned to kar hunting lodge to relax. Unfortunately, the locals claim there's a monster on a property.

8/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (third gender), protagonist with PTSD

Library ebook

The Twilight Queen - Jeri Westerson

Will Somers, jester to Henry VIII, is caught up in another mystery, this time of a corpse in Queen Anne’s bedchamber.

7/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (bi), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (gay)

digital reading copy

The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz - Mordechai Richler

A delinquent teen grows into a hustler, against the backdrop of mid-century Jewish Montreal.

7/10

largely Jewish cast, Jewish author, 🇨🇦

warning: racial slurs, misogyny

Off my TBR shelves

The Woman With No Name - Audrey Blake

Lonely and craving war work, Yvonne signs up to be the first female spy for the Allies in occupied France. Out in March

7/10

half a 🇨🇦 author

reading copy

The Frame-Up - Gwenda Bond

Ten years ago, Dani turned her art thief mom in to the Feds. Now her mom’s mentor has given Dani an offer she can’t refuse: use her magic to pull an impossible heist, get her life back.

6.5/10

Black secondary characters, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (sapphic)

reading copy

The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store - James McBride

The Black and Jewish residents of a Pennsylvania neighbourhood are (mostly) in it together, not least of when the government decides to take a local Deaf kid to an asylum.

7/10

Jewish and Black cast, major character with chronic illness and a limp, secondary Deaf character, Black author

warning: ableist characters and institutions, racist and anti-Semitic characters, sexual assault and molestation, (largely) reclaimed slurs

library book

The Market of Dreams and Destiny - Trip Galey

Deri may have a chance to buy out his indenture early when he meets a princess looking to sell her destiny. But in the goblin’s Untermarkt, nothing’s ever easy.

6.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (mlm), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (mlm, genderfluid), British Indian secondary character, 🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: child abuse, enslavement

borrowed from work

Picture Books

No Cats in the Library - Lauren Emmons

Cats aren’t allowed in the library but that’s where all the books are!

🏳️‍🌈 author

Read at work

Family is Family - Melissa Marr

Chick gets a note before kindergarten, telling him to have his mom or dad walk him to school. Except that Chick has two moms.

🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters and themes

Read at work

Currently reading

Knife Skills for Beginners - Orlando Murrin

Paul Delamare is filling in at a cooking school when the resident celebrity chef has a, erm, "accident."

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (gay), Black British secondary character

Reading copy

True North - Andrew J. Graff

The Brechts move to Wisconsin to restart a rafting business. They hope it’ll save their young family, but it might do the opposite.

library book

Music from the Earliest Notations to the Sixteenth Century - Richard Taruskin

A history of early written European music, in its social and political contexts.

The Penguin Complete Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle

Victorian detective stories

disabled POV character, occasional secondary Indian secondary characters

warning: racism, colonialism

Monthly total: 9 +2 Yearly total: 20 Queer books: 4 + 2 Authors of colour: 2 Books by women: 6 Authors outside the binary: 0 Canadian authors: 1.5 Classics: 1 Off the TBR shelves: 1 Books hauled: 3 ARCs acquired: 6 ARCs unhauled: 4 DNFs: 0

January

#booklr #bookblr #book reviews #adult booklr #reading wrap-ups #read in 2024 #my photos #book stacks #stacks of books

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nanawaffles · 16 days ago

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Hey, I just wanted to share an opinion after reading one of your posts which I completely agree with. Apparently there's always been a lot of LoTR (am I even writing the abbreviation right, uh...) and I was aware that the movies exist. It's been like 20 years since I first learnt about this universe and I haven't watched the movies yet. I started, I tried, it just never got me, while lots of ppl around me were either lorebros or admiring those elves played by Lee Pace and Orlando Bloom. Yeah, that's how illiterate I am. Never planned to change, but came across the Haladriel ship last year, caught my eye, and this year... wait, is it the came dude who gave off Flynn of Tangled vibes??? I swear, if such a characters, such an actor was a part of those movie trilogy I would have watched them long time ago! I mean, this is absolutely golden, I had to dive deeper and I totally enjoy Haladriel dynamics like I haven't enjoyed a romantic ship in ages (life made me go for bromances somehow). But what else occurs... All of my friends hate the show, I dunno if I ever tell them I wanna watch it and find the Haladriel thing amazing. Feels stupid, feels like doing something wrong.

First if all, hi, I'm so glad you could share this. Secondly, yes, LOTR is the correct abbreviation. 😊 thirdly, I'm so happy to hear that rings of power is giving you a a bit of an entryway into the world, that's amazing, and you have no idea how welcome you are by a lot of us. I can't say all of us, unfortunately, but a ton of us are thrilled you're here and interested.

Lastly yeaaaah that's exactly my concern. You shouldn't ever feel bad about wanting to enjoy a piece of art; and i think the negativity about rings of power has done quite a bit of damage to those who would be most welcome in the fandom and just being able to enjoy it. Take it from a hardcore fan of the books, the movies, who has been on this train since i was a wee little one-- there's nothing wrong with wanting to watch it, or even finding interest in haladriel it's an interesting ship though it sure does anger folks I'll tell ya. But everyone and everything has a critic, and there's far more of a fanbase than a negative one. Even those who don't ship it find it an interesting dynamic.

I think the lorebros, like you mentioned, got very attached to Jackson's vision, though even that vision was flawed--and in some ways flawed quite heavily-- aaand its kinda become their holy grail. Like i love lee pace and Orlando bloom, but there is certainly a gravitas that got added, and more than that Jackson changed both characters in ways I'm not particularly fond of. Why, I'm not quite sure. Orlando bloom seems the type of guy who if you told him to troll 95% of the time just cause his character is 3000 years old and thinks everyone is a baby, plus screech at seeing a balrog because "oh fucking shit" he'd have a blast. What rings of power hits on with elves that the movies don't... is the humanity if you will. They're thousands of years old, with wisdom given as gifts from youth, and still fuck up horrifically. They're not these.. stoic beings who speak all high and beyond everyone else's comprehension. They fuck around, they tease, if anything they're humans without the inhibitions because they are so old and. They explore and sometimes that destroys the world.

And I'm talking pure canon on that. I'll shut up now though-- point is it's not wrong. Millions of us like this show and fully believe it's worth it.

i wish you well. And if you ever do watch it, know that I'm cheering for you 😎❤

OH ALSO hal as Flynn vibes is something I've not thought of but gosh... that explains a lot.

#the rings of power

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barbariccia · 2 years ago

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so i’m being taken through fftactics (wotl version) for the first time in my life (shocking, i know, but i gargle bollocks at tactical games and my inability to be able to do those unfortunately trumps my desire to play every ff ever) by my love, my light, my absolute nemesis @reflectionsofacreator

guess i should keep an ongoing thread on my thoughts and feelings!

chapter 1 (the lookbackening)

very much enjoying myself with this so far! i knew i would but i think i vastly underestimated just how much i thought i would

despite knowing that some Whack Ass Shit is going to happen later on wrt the lucavi et al, i honestly would be really happy with just a standard fantastical story the way it’s being presented in chapter 1. no traditional ff bullshit, just a good scathing look at a highly unequal class system and the people that fight against (and perpetuate!) it.

for a surprising not-a-lot-of-scenes-in-chapter-1-all-things-considered, the characters are strong from their introduction and don’t feel hackneyed or clichéd (even though they’re from around the time of Man Those Clichés Sure Are Beginning To Exist).

the spritework and diorama-esque scenery are absolutely gorgeous for their time and their simplicity. i’m honestly kind of blown away by how simple the sprites are but how much they’re doing and portraying. every little lean, every glance over the shoulder, the light, the colours,,, stunning, honestly. i even enjoy the difference in text boxes (to what i’m used to) - how they feel like they read naturally, at a decent pace, clearly signposted as to who’s who!

i do not , however, care overmuch for the portraits - while i very much appreciate that they’re giving us a nice little slice of life in ivalice and its members at the top of the food chain, everyone looks too similar for me to be able to differentiate immediately. as much as like akihiko yoshida’s artwork, i also think the stylistic lack of noses in the portraits doesn’t do them any favours in a. helping to look different enough for my liking and b. unfortunately takes away from some of the seriousness of the scenes. i’m sorry, wiegraf, your hard calls are very moving, but... how do you smell? (baadly god i’m so sorry for that one. i already know he turns into belias. i can only apologise.)

however, a good conversation with azly/reflections about the absolute goofiness of dycedarg’s hairstyle ended up being a really good talk - to me, ivalice is (has been, always will be) very theatrical. it makes sense, then, for the sprites (and portraits) to be somewhat theatrical in nature - big silly hairstyles to show you who’s who, a uniform of sorts - it all adds up and looks very natural, even when some of the design choices are... well, sure designs!

who the fuck is naming their kids shit like larg and zalbaag et al?

it’s interesting playing wotl when azly/reflections has previously played the psx version - i get a nice insight into what they’re used to considering as the “true” names (and the same with places et al), and then double-checking the kana via the ffwiki. “mol” i hear you say “what is the truth: argath or algus?” to which i say neither, i am taking a third path and simply calling him algath which i think flows better and is in keeping with the kana. if they did not want this they should have called him ア―ガス and not アルガス and should have anticipated that one day i would make this decision, quite fucking frankly.

similarly wrt translation differences, getting “this is what X said in this scene in the psx version” makes my evening. i keep making comparisons to lotr and tolkein’s usage of low language because... damn, i really feel like that sort of thing would work in this setting. great, i love ye fake olde manners of speaking and being all fun and theatrical about it! still works for the ivalice setting, but there’s some lines that really would’ve worked better had they not been... on par with everything else. i’m thinking specifically at ziekden: after hearing algath prattle on, and on, and on--

Delita (WotL): Is our forked tongue done flitting? What I'd hear from your lips are not words!

Delita (PSX): Is that it? Is that all, Algus?!

i know which i’d choose. unfortunately a cursory look for the script actually seems to indicate that people... prefer the PSX version and think the wotl version is too... wordy? silly sounding? whatever. it’s a shame, is what it is.

so, the characters themselves, now:

knowing that algath is capital-d Dead by the end of chapter 1 is a relief, because i’m not sure how much more i, a veteran xiv player, could take of hearing his fucking voice from rabanastre and yell them aloud once the appropriate line is spoken.

pictured: three perfectly normal* ivalice fans all taking equal psychic damage.

i’m a little ashamed to admit how much i enjoyed algath’s brief debut. oh my god, what a shitheel? what an absolutely pathetic pile of mediocracy. i have got to do something about those zero-redeeming-quality characters that i keep enjoying, yeesh. on his own he wouldn’t even ping on the interesting scale, it’s just his association with ramza and delita that makes me go 👀hello? dynamics? tasty dynamics?

i’m really enjoying delita, who’s name i cannot spell correctly on the first try, as well. not that i think the “commoner invited to live above his station” is an overdone trope or anything like that, but he’s just such a... genuine little dude that i want desperately to know what his role in the rest of the story is going to be. or not be! fftactics: the Delita Not Appearing version. especially considering how much of algath’s diatribe he was party to, knowing that he was very earnestly not on the same wavelength as ramza all this time... even though they were friends without any problems til now. (onscreen, at least.) thanks, algath. jerk.

it is WILD to see ramza as a sweet little thing with pinchable cheeks rather than the absolute ass he was in the RtI raid series. he’s very naive. i like that about him - he’d be terrible as a protagonist if he didn’t try and grow from any of this, so of course he’s going to be doing some of that, but... i dunno, something about growing up and losing everything you ever had. being changed by the hero’s story etc etc tale as old as time etc etc we can never go home for it no longer exists etc.

a delight to be listening to fft tracks again as well, even if i feel like i should be doing mechanics instead of sitting peacefully watching it all play out. azly/reflection is gonna jumpscare me with tgcid or something, i can taste it in the air.

i swear to all the scions of light and darkness if we pick up a random unit with the generated name of orella i’m going to shriek so fucking loudly every person on the original team is going to hear it

#final fantasy tactics #ff tactics

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masschase · 1 year ago

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M-A-T-T-M-I-L-L-E-R

I finally commissioned @whoredmode 😊

There was a stunned silence, his eyes searching her as if he was still trying to process. She gave him a hopeful smile. God, if he somehow rejected her after all of this, she was going to run straight into the simulation and shoot everything up for a month.

I just can't stop staring at it. This is exactly how I pictured this moment in my head. Amazing job, thank you so much Ted.

Full context and excerpt below. But TLDR... Casey decided to give an a more accurate answer to Matt and Shaundi's questions at the start of GOOH.

To set the context, after the whole Matt-getting-shot-love confession thing(I wrote about that in an ask answer here), Asha appears in 2016 after Casey in 2022 remembers and sends her(though not before having to be physically restrained from going to rescue him herself and risking erasure from existence), and manages to jump Matt back to the ship in time for the Zin to treat him.

They put him in a medically induced coma which is supposed to last up to 48 hours but ends up roughly double that as Zin estimates for that kind of thing tend to be off. But (once she's gone after the perpetrator, who unfortunately gets away for now due to her heel snapping at an inoppurtune moment) she barely leaves his side until he wakes.

When he does though, after they talk for a while she asks if they want to go back to "what we were doin' in 2016" and he looks like he's struggling with it but turns her down, saying he can't go through that again and that their friendship is too important to him. This throws her. She's crushed and leaves in rather a hurry.

When she relays this conversation later, Asha points out she made it sound like she was interested in another "sex only" arrangement, and that if she really wants to be with Matt she's going to have to make a very clear statement that she's looking for an actual relationship. Possibly even be romantic. Johnny, having talked to Matt after Casey did, is pretty mad at her for not just telling him how she feels when she knows he loves her.

Jane helps her talk through things and when she admits that she's not surw which version of her Matt's love confession relates to, even though she knows it makes no sense for it to be the younger her. She told Jane her feelings for Matt must have started to develop since she came back from hell; with her making Matt her lieutenant and the two of them spending more time together. Jane tells her she believes Matt has had some form of attachment to her since at least that time, because of the question he asked the Ouija board at Kinzie's party.

From that comes her idea. That, and the candles she happened to think he looked so beautiful in two weeks ago when they were cuddled up together during a powercut. She also makes pecan pie because she found out in 2016 it was his favorite, and it's the only thing she can cook, and sets Last Dance to come on at precisely 8pm. She is throwing everything at the wall here.

So it's no surprise that around 7.45, Ms. "I-don't-get-nervous" finds herself waiting by the couch they spend every Friday night on, growing incredibly nervous.

God she hoped he was going to show up. He’d better fucking show up. She shouldn’t have come down here so early. She was fucking pacing. Maybe she should’ve worn something sexy, not her usual spacesuit. Maybe she should have gotten some booze to loosen them both up first. She couldn’t do this. No, she could. She had to. Ugh it was all stupid. No it wasn’t. He’d love it. He’d turn her down again. FUCK. She took a second to try and stop overthinking and just breathe. When she opened her eyes, he was just coming around the corner, hands awkwardly tucked behind his back much as hers were. “Hey!” she greeted. “Alright?” he replied, smiling, then stopped in his tracks. “Bloody hell, that’s a lot of candles.” She nodded. “Yeah, kinda.” She had dotted them all around the couch. At least three times as many as when they’d cuddled up together there two weeks ago. Thank god they were flameless; she could barely be trusted with fire inside the simulation, let alone outside of it. Looking around her reminded her she had gone too far to turn back. Looking at his beautiful face in the candlelight reminded her that she didn’t want to. “Are we... expecting another power cut?” “Uh... no... uh... hey, are you... feeling ok?” she checked. “Should you be standing?” “Actually it feels nice to stand for a sec. And the Zin physio is fantastic.” “Lucky you.” she commented, remembering her own unpleasant post-coma recovery. “Oh I... I didn’t mean to be insensitive.” “No... it’s OK...”. She smiled. “I’m... I’m glad they were able to fix you up so fast.” “Yeah.” he said, sounding unusually awkward. “I um... I didn’t see you at dinner.” “Oh...” she replied. “Yeah.”. It was true, she'd been so preoccupied by what she was doing that she hadn't eaten since Shaundi had brought her lunch to Matt’s bedside. Actually she’d barely eaten anything for the past few days. “It’s OK.” “Oh... well... I um... I got you something.” She looked at him, intrigued. He was kind of making her more nervous here by making him wait but she’d be damned if she ruined it. He smiled and pulled out a Freckle Bitch’s bag. “You don’t have to share if you don’t want to, though.” “Matty, that’s so sweet!” she exclaimed, a smile lighting up her own face too. “You’re... you’re always so nice to me.” “And um...” he said awkwardly. “I... wanted to thank you for... everything you've done and you said no-one had ever really bought you flowers before so um...” he pulled out a small bouquet of white roses. “They um... reminded me of your hair and...” he glanced down at them. “I don’t know.” He’d bought her food and flowers. The most ridiculous grin spread over her face. It took all her strength not to run across the room and kiss him. But she was in the middle of something, so instead she lingered awkwardly. “So, Nyte Blayde?” he checked, taking a step towards her. “I’m guessing you only watched one last week so we’re on-“ “One second.” she blurted out, interrupting him and halting his advance across the room. He frowned ever so slightly. “Everything alright?” “Yeah, I uh... just want to talk to you about somethin’.” “Oh... ok?” “Uh...” she gave him a nervous smile. “Matty, you uh... you remember that Ouija board you brought to Kinzie's party?” she asked gently. “Um... the one that led to you being dragged into a massive portal into Hell?” he replied, grimacing. “Hard to forget something like that.” “Yeah... that one.” she confirmed. “Do you remember... how all that shit happened?” “Um... I think so...”. He stared at her, obviously trying to work out her intentions. “Are you about to finally make me take the blame?” She laughed a little. “No. Just wondering if you still remember what you asked it.” “Oh... um... yeah.” he said, looking confused. “I asked um... “Will the President slash God-Emperor-for-life, ever choose a partner to reign alongside them?””

She hesitated. Was she really going to do this? This was fucking lame. But she'd made the damn thing now. She pulled out the shitty fake Ouija board she’d drawn on a piece of card, and the bracelet Johnny had leant her. She held it up for him to read, and slid the bracelet to ‘Yes.’. His face turned from slight confusion to utter bemusement. “And then you said...”. She rolled her eyes as she continued, imitating his sing-song tone. “Someone’s gettin' married!” “Right.” he laughed, looking embarrassed. “And you said “Shut up Matt.”” “Can you blame me?” she asked with a smile. And then uh... Shaundi said... uh...” They both paused for a second, thinking. “She asked it... um...” Matt said nervously, then looked her straight in the eyes. “Who will... tame the Emperor’s... wild heart?” She paused, staring back at him. She angled the board a little so she could see what she was doing, and slid the bracelet across it to spell “M-A-T-T-M-I-L-L-E-R.”. There was a stunned silence, his eyes searching her as if he was still trying to process. She gave him a hopeful smile. God, if he somehow rejected her after all of this, she was going to run straight into the simulation and shoot everything up for a month. “I just want to check this means... what I think it means?” he asked, sounding apprehensive. “I wanna be with you, Matt. More than anything.” she admitted. “If you want somethin’... like... a real... relationship... y’know... whatever that... would be...” she added in a mumble. He seemed to freeze up completely at that, his eyes wide, his mouth a little open. She wanted to beg him to say something, anything, but the silence forced her to continue. “And look... I uh...” she sighed. “I'm never gonna be able to give you the romance you deserve because I’m shit at talkin’ about my feelings and... I know I’m thirty-one now, and I’m kinda an asshole, and I’m sure not as cool as I used to be but y’know, I really think-“ She was interrupted as he walked straight up to her, threw his arms around her and kissed her passionately, dropping both the bag and the roses onto the couch behind her. She brought both arms up around his neck as she returned the kiss, the badly homemade Ouija board crumpling and falling and the bracelet clattering to the floor. It had been so long since she’d felt him kiss her like this. Like he fucking adored her.

(Which is the moment I drew here.)

Thanks to some creative use of Casey's obsession with Jane Austen on Matt's part, she was able to overcome her issues and confess her love for him that night, too.

Of course, the Freckle Bitch's was ruined after being dropped so suddenly, and the roses got left on the couch overnight.

But unsurprisingly, neither of them gave a shit about that.

#now everyone go commission ted this is your sign: go go go #sr boss: casey clark #matt miller #sr fanfic: out of time #saints row 4 #gat out of hell #saints row #commission #matty x cass (mass)

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