#i want to hear this 'ethics argument' you came up with- in this‚ our final moment...!

[linkspooky]

Art credit: @/charscounterattack reposted with permission.

INVINCIBLE VS. MY HERO ACADEMIA: WHEN HEROES KILL

Whether or not heroes should kill people is a hotly debated topic in comics.

There are people who think heroes should never kill, and others who think heroes should kill more. One of the most famous comic book storylines "Under the Red Hood" has Red Hood / Jason Todd debate whether or not it was ethical for Bruce to keep letting the joker live even after the Joker killed Jaso, especially after the Joker killed Jason. If killing the Joker earlier to prevent all future deaths would have been justified. There are like a hundred DC Aus that are like "What if Batman and Superman just started killing people?"

In order to explore this question I'm going to explore two situations in different comics, Invincible and My Hero Academia when the hero, a very idealistic young hero kills someone for the first time.

LET HORI COOK

Storytelling, especially for serialized storytelling which comes out week by week instead of all at once works on the premise of drawing people in by promising that certain future developments and plot points are going to happen. Stories are all about creating expectations, building them, and then paying them off.

Here's an example: The Dabi is a Todoroki theory has existed pretty much since the training camp arc. Horikoshi wasn't in your face about the hints about Toya, but there was just enough hints to make the theory seem more and more plausible. Toya having the same fire quirk as Shoto / Endeavor. Toya mentioning both of them by name. Shoto's two other siblings getting revealed but not Toya. Toya saying that Hawks should have paid attention to him most of all. All of these little pieces came together until Toya finally revealed his identity on live TV in front of both Shoto and Endeavor.

This worked because not only did it give the audience just enough clues that they felt smart for figuring it out, and get invested in the idea of Toya as a Todoroki, it also was well-paced so it didn't seem like Horikoshi forgot about it unlike the traitor plot which went hundreds of chapters without being mentioned. If Toya was revealed to be a Todoroki at the training camp arc with no buildup, it wouldn't be as effective bcause we didn't have years of waiting and theorizing. If Todoroki was revealed to be some guy named Steve after all the hints, it also wouldn't be an effective reveal because there were hints dropped for Toya Todoroki, but there were no Steve hints so it'd feel like the author lied to us.

Themes are like this too. I tend to explain story themes by oversimplifying it as "Question, and answer." The story asks a question, it provides us an answer, and we can come up with our own answer as well. However, there's a middle part I'm skipping out on which is deliberation. Before you can come up with an answer, you obviously need to deliberate it, either by presenting arguments for or against, hearing outside opinions or just thinking things through.

In other words, you need to "Let things cook."

If Toya calling Shoto by his full name at the Training Camp Arc is when we're first asked "Is Toya a Todoroki?" or when the theories first started, then the long middle period between Training Camp Arc and the First War Arc is the deliberation. This is when the story not only added more hints to the idea that Toya was a Todoroki, but also set up why that reveal mattered. Endeavor wanted to atone for his past sins, but one of his victims was no longer alive. Endeavor begins to move on anyway and think he's finally made himself a good hero, but now Toya appears to flip up the reverse Uno Card.

So let's follow this basic formula, for how ideas get developed in My Hero Academia and just any good story.

Question / Introduction

Deliberation

Answer / Conclusion

My Hero Academia and Invincible explore similar themes in regards to heroism, generational trauma and how to be better than the previous generation in both Mark and Deku. I'm going to streamline their arcs down to one basic question for the sake of time. For both the question is:

Can I be a better hero than my Dad?

Deku and Mark might be two characters who cannot possibly seem to be more different, but you can actually list off a lot of similarities between them right away. Deku and Mark are both people who in a world oversaturated with superheroes spent most of their childhoods with no superpowers at all. Also, they were genetically supposed to inherit a quirk / viltrumite powers, but Deku was born quirkless, and Mark was an extremely late bloomer. They are also people who while being powerless civilians for most of their lives worship heroes. Deku collects so much All Might Merch he even stole some from Nighteye after he died, Mark attends comic conventions even after he becomes a superhero.

They also grew up worshipping one hero in particular who was essentially earth's strongest hero, for Mark it was his dad Omni-Man, for Deku it was All Might. They also both get the opportunity to train directly under their favorite hero immediately after they get their powers. At first this makes it seem like they've been given everything they've ever wanted. All Mark has ever wanted was to be a hero like his dad and make his father proud. Not only did Deku just want one person to tell him he could be a hero too even without a quirk, but his very idea of heroism is built around seeing All Might always save people with a smile.

However, both of them suddenly hit complication just when it seems like they've been given everything they've ever wanted. They are both confronted with the fact that their heroes are not who they expected them to be. They are overly idealistic heroes who have been dreaming of being heroes since childhood only to be hit with a much greyer reality. To the point where there innocence becomes a flaw in and of itself. The way they've been coddled and protected all of their lives leaves them completely unaware and unable to spot the grey areas in the world, or the people around them.

For Deku the moral greys exist in the villains around them. In MHA Society, villains are basically just bad guys in suits for the heroes to punch on television. They're seen as a faceless enemy, and there's very little in way of rehabilitation for villains once they're captured. Deku lived in a very black and white world before this point, and he's suddenly presented with the idea that his villains could be morally grey.

Deku's image of All Might is a hero who saves everyone with a smile, so he could never imagine that there are people who All Might has failed to save. He's never stopped to consider where villains came from, or if any of them might have legitimate reasons for their grievances.

This becomes a pretty central theme in MHA. It's first brought up here when Shigaraki talks about All Might acting as if there's no one he can't save. Twice brings it up again in his first backstory chapter, that the heroes only save the virtuous ones.

This is further enforced in the same overhaul arc with members who are loyal to Overhaul because they are society's trash who would have been thrown out otherwise. There is a group of people fiercley loyal to Overhaul who is a terrible boss, because he is the only person who would accept them.

edits belong to @stillness-in-green from bring it all back a tone poem on returning to staus quo located here on ao3.

In the War Arc this long running theme basically reaches a climax with the Hawks and Twice confrontation, where Hawks decides to try to offer Jin a chance to restart because he's deemed him "good" but he won't extend the same helping hand to the league who Hawks has determined as "bad." He then asks Jin to betray his friends in order to be saved, something that Jin rightfully calls out.

That Hawks only wants to save Jin because he's one of the good ones, and he's written off the rest of the league and left them for dead. Hawks choosing to divide between good and bad victims ad only save the one he personally thought was worthy of redemption, makes it impossible for him to save Twice who would never under any circumstances give up on the rest of the league.

Twice's death is a tragedy, but it also presents us a clear example of the failures of the previous generation. Even a hero who sincerely sympathized with a villain and wanted to help them start over wasn't able to help them because of this attitude of selectively picking and choosing who to save. If the heroes only save the innocent the I guess the lives of the guilty are worth less.

This is the questio Toga poses to Ochako, if the heroes killed Twice then are you going to kill me in order to stop me. This is the central subject of Shigaraki's speech to the heroes. That heroes and villains will never uderstand each other, because the entire hero system perpetuates itself on ignoring the needs of societal outcasts and rejects in form of the "innocent people" and those outcasts who aren't having their needs met eventually turn into villains who get systematically put down by heroes. Heroes and villains are incapable of understanding each other and breaking the cycle, because the entire system isn't built on helping people, but merely maintaining the idea that heroes are perfect, faultless saviors so normal people will feel secure, while the people the heroes have failed get swept under the rug so society can keep "functioning."

"You heroes hurt your own families just to help strangers. You heroes pretend to be society's guardians. For generations, you pretended not to see those you couldn't protect. That means your system's all rotten from the inside with maggots crawling out. It all builds up, little by little, over time. You've got the common trash, all too dependent on being protected, and the brave guardians who created the trash that needed coddling. It's a corrupt, vicious, cycle. Everythig I've witnessed, the whole system you've built has always rejected me. Now I'm ready to reject it. That's why I destroy. That's why I took power for myself. Simple enough, Yeah? I don't care if you don't understand. That's what makes us heroes and villains."

So if the starting question is: Can I be a better hero than my dad?

Then everything I've detailed above is deliberation. Here we have, ever since the training camp arc, this slowly built up idea of why All Might was a flawed hero in the end.

Mark has to face the fact that his father is a more morally grey person than he could ever imagine, whereas Deku has to face the fact that the villains are more morally grey in his world, and that makes the heroes look more flawed in comparison as well. The deliberation is all slowly bringing Deku to think over what Shigaraki asked him all the way in the beginning in there first meeting.

Were there ever people that the heroes couldn't save? If so then what are you supposed to do with the victims you can't save after they grow up? This is when Deku begins to start forming his own answer.

Deku hears the advice of both the other OFA users, and The Stinky Old Man (Gran Torino) that killing Shigaraki is the best option, but wants to explore other options.

Scenes like this clearly telegraph what the answer / conclusion Hori is leading us to to be. The same way that Toya is a Todoroki is foreshadowed long in advance, statements like "All for one is a power meant for saving, not killing" clearly set up Deku's Endgame. Deku's end goal is to find a way use his power to save Shigaraki rather than killing him. Everything else is just a matter of deliberation, Deku knows what his edgoal is but the chapters between then and the end of the manga is Deku having to figure out how exactly to save Shigaraki without killing him.

You Heroes Hurt Your Own Families Just to Help Strangers

Invincible is the story of Mark Grayson, the son of Omni Man / Nolan Grayson. He's been told all of his life that his father is a viltrumite, a race of benevolent aliens who send out people like Nolan to alien civilizations in order to uplift their entire civilization. Which is what led Nolan to come to earth and become Earth's greatest heroes.

This turns out to be a big fat lie when within 12 chapters Nolan not only slaughters the guardian's of the globe, but also has a confrontation with his son.

Mark has wanted to be just like his dad his entire life. Only to be slapped in the face with the realization he's known nothing about his dad his entire life, shown rather brilliantly by these panels where Nolan tries to have a normal father / son conversation with Mark while covered in blood.

Nolan isn't from a futuristic utopia but from a brutal, fascist space empire. He didn't come to earth to help bring it up, but to weaken its defenses and make it prime for conquering. He didn't have Mark out of love, but to produce another soldier for the viltrumite empire.

Mark's entire schtick is that he's invincible, but he's so inexperienced as a hero that he gets beat up constantly despite the fact he has the strongest power set in the series b/c he has viltrumite powers. However, not only does the series introduce moral greys by continually showing how Mark even with the best power set in the series constantly gets his ass kicked, it also challenges Mark's black and white thinking and hero worship of his father by showing him the kind of man his father really is.

Mark has wanted to be exactly like his father his entire life, but now that's suddenly a bad thing. His father is a morally reprehensible person and Mark is now a descendant of an alien race meant to conquer worlds. Not only is Mark confronted by who his father really is, but now everyone in Mark's life judges him by comparing him with his father.

Mark has to work with Cecil and be his on-call Superhero, both to be able to pay for college, and also to prove that he's not his dad. The unspoken part of the agreement is that Cecil gets to keep a leash on Mark and Mark has to prove that he'll never turn out like his father to earn Cecil's trust.

Cecil is automatically suspicious of him because if Mark were to turn evil, the planet would have no defenses against him just like it didn't have any for Omni Man. Mark's mother starts to drink and blames Mark for Omni-Man leaving in a drunken moment of weakness because of how much the information that Omni Man only regarded her as a pet affected her.

The comic even shows us that in most alternate universes, mark actually did make the decision to join his father's conquest, and this universe is one of the few exceptions. This is also where we're introduced to a major reoccuring antagonist in the comics, and also the main antagonist / final antagonist of season 2 of the cartoon Angstrom Levy.

Levy is someone who can jump between dimensions and has traveled to almost all of them collecting his alternate selves. He has witnessed for a fact that in most universes Mark sides with his father instead of fighting against him.

Levy enlists the clone bros to build a device that would combine the knowledge of his alternate selves into one individual. This device ends up breaking tragically (partially mark's fault, but levy himself made the decision to stop the machine in order to stop the clone bros from killing Mark). Levy's memories become confused as a result of the machine malfunctioning, and he can't tell the difference between himself and his alternate universe counterparts. This means that Levy now remembers several alternate universes where Mark did turn evil, and remembers them as if they happened to him.

It's better elaborated upon in this post:

The process by which Invincible has had to condense and consolidate the plot beats of the original comic, coupled with the opportunity it's granted the writers to tighten up and emphasize its themes on a second pass, has resulted in a newfound appreciation for how unbelievably fucking good Angstrom Levy's whole character concept is. What's that, Mark? Your main emotional crisis this season is your fear of turning out like your father? Here, have an archnemesis who's out to kill you because his memories were inadvertently overwritten with the lived experiences of hundreds of alternate versions of himself whose friends and families were slaughtered in worlds where you did, in fact, turn out exactly like your father. Because it turns out that that is in fact the multiversal norm. That you turn out like your father. And now you're left to wonder what set of arbitrary coinflips pulled you back from that abyss in this dimension, and whether your luck is going to continue to hold into the future.

Mark is not only hit with the revelation that his father isn't as good as he thought he was, but also while he's in a crisis about about whether or not he will turn out like his father, he learns the answer is yes, in several dimensions he turns out exactly like his father.

In My Hero Academia there are families like the Todoroki's who balance the difference between a hero's obligations to society, and a hero's obligation to society. However, that's a side plot where I'd argue that the main plot for Invincible and it's main focus is what Mark owes to the world as a hero, and what Mark owes to his family.

It's not just that Omniman is trying to invade earth for the Viltrumite empire. It's not just that he failed as a hero, but that he failed as a father. What makes Mark snap, is hearing Omniman call Debbie a pet. Until that point Mark was in denial and still trying to reason with his father.

Invincible is about two intersecting themes: Is Mark obligated to use his incredible powers to help make the world better? Can Mark be a good hero and a good family man?

While MHA has more far reaching societal implications in its themes and questions, Invincible is more specifically about the Grayson Family. It's generational trauma on a society level, vs generational trauma on an individual level. The way Nolan was raised on Viltrumite effects how he raised Mark causing their conflict, and Mark's conflict with his father effects most of his young adulthood when he's trying to figure out what person he wants to be (read: not his dad), but also the way he parents his daughter with Atom Eve.

Omni-man failed Mark as both a hero, and a father. Mark feels the need to overcompensate for what his father did the world and all those innocent people by acting as Cecil's lapdog and doing whatever Cecil tells him.

However, Mark is much more hurt by the personal betrayal than he lets on. It's not just that his father killed a bunch of innocent people, it's also that Mark's father failed as a father, abandoning both him and mom and choosing to be a viltrumite rather than being Mark's father. Mark's stated reason for wanting to be a hero post the omni-man reveal is to prove he's not like his dad to the world, and also make up for the innocent lives he failed to save. However, his unstated underlying reason is Mark is hurt and betrayed his father didn't put his family first, and this causes Mark to always put his family first.

This leads to two insecurities / narrative flaws. One, Mark is insecure about becoming like his father so he tries to prove he's nothing like him by being the most selfless, perfect hero possible. Two, Mark is hurt by being abandoned by his father and doesn't want to become a deadbeat like Nolan so he gets extremely overprotective of his own family.

These two things are obvious in conflict with one another: A hero has an obligation to the common good which sometimes means sacrificing time with your loved ones. However, being a good family man requires a level of selfishness that directly contradicts the selfless hero that Mark is pushing himself to be. In the comic the way Mark prioritizes his family and loved ones over the common good and justice is made even more obvious. His first instinct on seeing Omni-Man again isn't to call him out for being an awful father, but to hug him and ask him to come home. Mark is a distraught son first, and a hero second.

Mark has two flaws, his fear of being like his father makes him try too hard to be a perfect hero, and his trauma over losing his father makes him prioritize his family over being a hero. It's very much a having your cake and eating it too situation, oftentimes heroes make huge sacrifices for their personal lives in order to be heroes, that's basically a theme discussed in the comic with Nolan being absent for a lot of Mark's childhood, and why Mark's relationship with Amber fails.

The show also introduces us to the idea that Mark is so afraid of becoming like his father that he deliberately holds back his punches. Which is good when he's fighting earth villains, but bad when he's facing viltrumites who can only survive being disemboweled, but will also come to wipe out all life on earth if they're allowed to live. In the show it's directly mentioned that Mark is holding back, in the comic it's implied when we see how helpless Mark is in the fight against other viltrumites. Mark lacks the resolve to kill someone and when fighting a viltrumite, failing to put them down can have consequences because they are galactic conquerors who will not show you any mercy.

This all comes to a head in the Angstrom Levy fight where Mark makes his first kill on-screen when beforehand he'd never fought to kill before, and even held back against galaxy conquering aliens who were out to murder him and his dad.

However. before we begin that.

Should superheroes kill?

People often act like whether or not super heroes should kill their villains is a black and white topic, where it actually depends highly on context.

Batman’s an entire character is written around how he wants to redeem Gotham and save the city, most of his villains aren’t even sent to prison they’re sent to Arkham a facility that’s supposed to rehabilitee the mentally ill so they can rejoin society. Batman has decided it’s his place to stop crime, not his place to decide whether or not people have the right to live or redeem themselves.

Batman is also at risk for being just like his villains, that’s why he’s foils with Harvey Dent, someone who tried to prosecute people under the law who then snapped and went full violent mobster vigilante. Batman actually is at risk for walking the same path as Harvey if he decides murder is an option.

In X-Men 97, there was a character known as Rogue who dropped Simon Bolivar Trask off of a building in an act of vigilante justice. This action makes sense in context for several reasons. One Rogue was raised by Mystique and Destiny, is a former member of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, and began as a terrorist in the comics. She's not really a "moral highground" character like Batman. Two, Boliver Trask built a giant killer robot that resulted in the deaths of millions in Genosha which Rogue is a survivor of. Number three, Trask had no sympathetic reasons for building the genocide robot, he built the sentinels out of bigotry to wipe out mutants. He's not a victim in any way, he's an oppressor facing consequences for his actions.

Batman shooting Harvey Dent, his former best friend, a victim of severe mental illness and trauma that still has hope for recovery, and Rogue dropping the guy who made a genocide robot off of a building are both wildly different situations.

So in the context of MHA we have Shigaraki Tomura, a terrorist who's goal is to destroy japan enough that it will dismantle the hero system for good. Shigaraki Tomura is a ten year old child who lost control of his quirk and killed his family for mistake, he wandered for days in crowded city streets but not a single hero stopped to help him, then he was found by the main villain of the story and groomed for ten years into becoming his successor. Shigaraki is also surrounded by a group of societal outcasts who were failed by society in similiar ways, so Shigaraki knows he wasn't the only one failed by hero society and he starts to wage his war for their sake as much as his own.

In Invincible we have Angstrom Levy. Angstrom is not plotting mass murder the way that Shigaraki is. He is specifically only targetting Mark Grayson's family for revenge (at least the first time he showed up, the second time during the invincible war arc was different). Angstrom's revenge against Mark Grayson is misplaced, but to be fair the accident messed with his brain hardcore and he doesn't remember clearly what happened. He doesn't remember that he's the one who decided to stop the machine in order to help Mark. It's tragic. Angstrom also has the memories of like hundreds of different universes of evil Marks. Even though he's the victim of a tragic accident, he's also a victimizer in that he doesn't choose to just go after Mark, he deliberately picks Mark's family, his mother, and his infant little brother as a way of hurting Mark.

So both of these characters blur the line between villain and victim, but neither of them are like Trask in that they have no sympathetic motivation whatsoever. Shigaraki's actions don't come from bigotry, and he's not an oppressor. Trask was actually trying to do something good before his machine broke and his brains got scrambled, and now he wants personal revenge and to blame all his problems on Mark which is petty yes, but not on Trask's level of heartlessness.

So, there's a case that can be made here for both of them that there's room to save them. After all Mark and Deku aren't killers to begin with. Mark especially has an incredibly vested interest in not becoming a killer. Even if they don't explicitly go out of their way to save and redeem these two people, we're still at this point expecting the heroes to at least take down these two sympathetic figures non-lethally. Mark doesn't want to be like his dad and Deku has said explicitly he wants to save Shigaraki, and that OFA is a power for saving and not killing.

Also to sidestep this argument before people comment on my post with it.

What do you expect the heroes to just let a mass murderer live?

YES!

It happens in comics literally all the time.

Magneto, Wolverine, Jean Grey / Phoenix, Emma Scott, heck, OMNIMAN himself, all characters who have killed lots of people and all characters who get to live and even be on the heroes side. Of these three Jean Grey of all people has the highest body count.

Shonen Jump also has Vegeta. Have you ever heard of Vegeta? Most popular Shonen Rival of all time? Omni-man and Viltrumites are basically just Saiyans.

In real life they wouldn't let a mass murderer walk away but comics are not the same as real life. That's why characters are always punching dinosaurs all the time. Fun fact, if you were to try to punch a dinosaur in real life it would probably hurt your hand. I would advise against it. Dinosaurs are for the most part much stronger than human beings.

As I outlined above Shigaraki and Angstrom are different characters than Trask. They might all be murderers, but the first two have sympathetic elements and are humanized, they are victims of oppression (Angstrom's been killed by viltrumites in a whole bunch of worlds) whereas Trask is an oppressor.

So for both of these stories we are not expecting to see Deku and Mark kill their final villains (for the series and for this season). Deku because he's spent the final third of the series trying to work out a way to save the villains, and Mark because he doesn't want to turn out to be a violent murderer like his father so he's trying to be the most selfless, most perfect hero ever.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRONGER

So we finally reach the scenes in question and I thought I'd compare them without much commentary, just highlighting what happens without adding much spin.

So the final episode of Invincible Season 2 and Issue #33 of the comic is where Angstrom and Mark have it out. Angstrom appears in Mark's home and threatens his family. he brings up the comparison between Mark and his father right away. This is also something Angstrom has seen first hand by traveling to multiple universes where Mark has sided with his father.

In the cartoon he's a lot more confused because he's constantly remembering other universe's memories as if he were his own so he genuinely thinks he's taking down an evil viltrumite, in the comic he's being more petty and blaming Mark for his deformity (I think he doesn't remember that he was the one to take the helmet off by choice). In both versions he uses Mark's family as hostages to keep him from fighting back as he tries to send Markk to his death in several different realities.

Angstrom then ups the threat of violence from holding them hostage to threatening to kill them. In both the show and comic he brutally breaks Debbie's arm. Mark is sent through several more realities, only to discover that Debbie's arm is broken and lose his temper.

Mark and Angstrom's fist fight comes to an end, and while Mark has him on the ground he keeps hitting and hitting and hitting long after Angstrom stopped fighting back. Which is what prompts the famous "I thought you were stronger..."

Now, in this situation it looks pretty justifiable that Mark attacked Angstrom so aggressively,. it was self defense for one against a man trying to kill him and he only got truly aggressive after he saw his mother's arm get broken. Not only that he didn't intentionally kill Angstrom, you can argue he went too far in a case of clear self defense. Other people even tell Mark that this one isn't on him, including Cecil who compares Mark to his father the most.

Then, why is Mark so disturbed?

It's because this....

Is a deliberate parallel to this...

It's not just that Mark killed a man, it's that he killed a man by pounding on him relentlessly long after he'd stopped fighting back the exact same way his father did to him during their fight.

There's a difference between Mark say, fighting against a viltrumite and making a deliberate decision to kill them because of the danger that viltrumites represent to other people considering they are planet conquerors, and Mark killing this man because he lost his temper and couldn't control his own strength.

Mark spends the entire season trying to not be like his father, only to see first hand that he's capable of the exact same violence that his father is. The last episode of Season 2 summarizes this moment pretty perfectly in a montage of season 1 moments while Mark screams and breaks the sound barrier trying to push his viltrumite powers to their limits.

Mark: I'm strong enough and I can do this. It's all I've ever wanted for as long as I can remember. I want to do what you do. I want to be just like you. Omni-Man: You will be, son. You will. Mark screaming. Omni-Man: You'll outlast every single fragile being on this planet. You'll live to see this world crumble to dust and blow away. Everyone and everything you know will be gone. Mark screaming. Cecil: You know who else said that to me? Mark: I'm not my dad. Mark screaming some more. KRegg: Your father will be execute and you can return to earth. You will assume the mission to prepare earth for our rule.

So not only is Mark hit with the realization that he's just as capable of being violent and angry as his father is. He also is being forced by the situation to become more violent out of pragmatism, because if he doesn't get strong enough to fight viltrumites then they're going to come to his planet and take everything.

Not only has Mark lost some of his innocence, he's also being forced to throw the rest of it away. It's why Mark drops out of college at the end of the season because any pretense of balancing between his human life and his duty as a hero is gone. He is basically forced to be a viltrumite full time now and will abandon any semblance of trying to live his own life for a very, very long time until his relationship with Eve starts to get serious.

Which is why a pretty justifiable murder in this context is presented as so bloody, gruesome and traumatizing an event for both the audience and Mark himself. We both know there's no coming back from this.

As for the death of main series villain Shigaraki Tomura, Deku ends up being forced to kill Shigaraki in a situation similiar to Mark. Though I will highlight one difference right away. Mark was trying to reason with Angstrom, but he was at no point like "I want to save Angstrom, he's a victim I want to find some other way of ending this bloody conflict between us." Mark just didn't intend to go so far as killing him.

Deku entered the fight with the explicit stated desire to save Shigaraki rather than killing him, which would make him different from the previous generation of heroes because he wouldn't turn a blind eye to society's faults and victims like Shigaraki accused him of.

Deku makes a journey into Shigaraki's mental landscape to find Tenko in a recreation of the memory of the day of his worst trauma. As Tenko's quirk activates, Deku attempts to grab the little boy's hands to comfort him.

Deku's "Why I am here" is markedly different from All Might's. Deku says the reason he wants to save others is to take their hands, comfort them and give them peace, whereas All Might as the strongest hero tried to keep peace by beating all the villains down. Deku's way to become the greatest hero once again, focuses heavily on saving others, and offering his hand to everyone without hesitation instead of picking and choosing who to save like previous generations.

Deku even says that he has to extend a helping hand to everyone because he's learning that the world is more complicated than he thought, he was ignorant to a lot of people's suffering, and he can't sweep their pain under the rug anymore.

For a moment Deku unconditionally extending a hand to Shimura Tenko even as his mental body begins to decay away wins over Shimura Tenko. Though Shigaraki also resists because much like Twice he doesn't want to abandon the rest of his friends even if it means he personally will be saved.

However, any attempts to save Shigaraki are interrupted by AFO suddenly appearing out of nowhere and taking control of Shigaraki's body yet again.

At this point Deku does exactly what Mark does, which is relentlessly punch Shigaraki's body to death in order to kill AFO along with Shigaraki. In some small defese Shigaraki was also there too punching AFO in his mental landscape so he was assisting Deku in defeating AFO he wasn't helpless the entire time.

But, basically we see the same scene happen with Mark.

A hero who does not wish to kill is forced by circumstance to kill a villain. In Deku's case it should be even more devastating because they explicitly went into the fight wanting to save Shigaraki and they believed their power was for saving and not killing.

Yet, we don't get nearly as horrified a response from Deku.

However, instead Deku's final words are just about how he couldn't forgive Shigaraki and had to put a stop to him no matter what.

Even the way the scenes are presented to us are entirely different. Mark punches Angstrom in a wasteland a dry, dead place, until he's soaked in Angstrom's blood, and painted everything around him red. Once again, it's a visual callback to Mark's father beating him half to death, which was Mark's own lowest point.

Whereas, when Deku punches Shigaraki until he disintegrates not only is the violence or horror of Shigaraki's death not acknowledged, but it's played as a triumphant moment where the clouds clear from the sky and the stun starts shining.

In the cartoon Mark killing Angstrom leads to a total screaming breakdown where he has traumatic flashbacks of his dad beating him and pushes himself to break the sound barrier multiple times. It also leads him to making big life changes like dropping out of college to become a hero full time and giving up any pretense of having a normal life. As seen in a scene where he watches Amber from the sky, and is tempted to go down and greet her and just flies off, because Amber represents his connection to his humanity.

Also, Angstrom doesn't even die. He comes back way worse and that's how invinicble war arc starts.

In the aftermath of killing Shigaraki, Deku gets melancholy about not being able to save Shigaraki only to be reassured he did save him in the end. Only to be told by All Might that it's okay because he still saved Shigaraki's heart even if he killed him.

DEKU: "I couldn't save Tenko's life." "I reached out to his heart, and even though his hatred was crushed," "to the very end, Tenko" "was the leader of the League of Villains." ALL MIGHT: "Let me tell you this as someone who has had a near-death experience," "I think it's in the expression on his face at the end." "If there wasn't a crying boy there," "I think his heart was saved after all,"

People also try to convince mark that he did nothing wrong and that there was no helping what he did in a situation like that, but he doesn't let himself believe them.

The ending lines about the last episode of Season 2, are this:

Eve: I'm sorry Mark. It's not fair. You don't deserve this. Eve: You don't deserve this.

Which has a double meaning. Eve is just trying to comfort Mark, because arguably he shouldn't have to feel guilty for fighting in self defense. On the other hand what Mark hears is You don't deserve this in the context of Eve's feelings for him. An alternate timeline version of Eve confessed her love for Mark. Mark was about to bring it up but decided not to. At that moment as Eve embraces and comforts him, what Mark hears because of his own self loathing is that he doesn't deserve Eve comforting him, or her love for him.

Just to clarify I don't think that Mark is crying over Angstrom Levy specifically. In fact over time he's painted to be pathetic in his obsession with revenge, and what he amounts to is just wanting to blame everything on invincible when it was partially caused by his own actions.

However, it's inarguable that killing (or rather seemingly killing Angstrom) deeply impacted Mark and how he saw himself as a hero. It's less about Angstrom, and more about the loss of control, and the realization of how powerful his anger and hatred can get and what that means for him personally.

It also shows us where Mark's priorities lie. Mark wants to be a perfect hero and a perfect family man, and Invincible shows us he can't be both, his desire to protect his family leads him to staining his blood when he was trying so hard to be a good, selfless hero. This is all a part of a deliberate arc where Mark chooses more and more to value his family over being a hero. I'm not going to say whether or not it's the right choice, but it's a choice he makes, as a part of his character development where as he grows up and becomes a father his priorities change.

My point is that this moment has an impactful change on Mark, for arguably the rest of the comic.

Now my question is, with My Hero Academia will the death of Shigaraki Tomura, the series greatest villain and it's greatest victim have an equal impact on Deku's character that Levy's death did on Mark's?

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 4

Will

Cult girl attends her grandmother's funeral and is approached with a highly unorthodox last will and testament.

@wisesandwichshark

Trigger warnings: emotional manipulation and abuse, verbal abuse, death, slight emetophobia, body-shaming, ED mention, pregnancy and family planning

There was no use recounting anything from the leading up to the funeral. You spent that first night wine-drunk, munching on foie gras, watching Arrested Development and diagnosing each character to the best of your psychological abilities. You remembered cry-laughing at the same jokes you had memorized, and reminiscing on all the insane shit your own personal Lucille Bluth pulled on you. That was the highlight of the week. It was all downhill from there. 

Firstly, you were sick. That Sunday, you wrote it off as a hangover. Then, the hangover returned with a vengeance, just to add salt to the already open wound of having to pretend to mourn your abusive grandmother. At least the physical pain would give your acting an air of sincerity, you thought. 

Hannibal dressed in a solid black tux: it was almost uncanny to see him outside of any of his normal checkered suits. You selected a plain black dress and a strand of pearls.

The funeral was to be held at the same country club Anna’s wedding was held. Your grandmother was like a pharaoh, insisting that the empire she built know that even in death, she reigned supreme. The country club was her pyramid. 

Anna asked if you wanted to say a few words. As much as you wanted to get up and tell all her country club friends about the time she reported you as an abducted child at age twenty-two when you refused to leave your boyfriend and move back in with her, you knew that it wasn’t in good taste. You racked your brain for any story that could be considered remotely funeral-appropriate, but none came to mind. 

You spent the entire funeral trying not to roll your eyes too obviously at the stories of abuse her country club friends somehow remembered fondly. Your soul just left your body throughout the entire process and you were unsure if it would ever return. 

All things considered, it could have gone much worse. Then, it did. 

The beginning of the end was when your grandmother’s estate lawyer pulled you and Anna aside to conduct the reading of the will. He showed you to a side room, then excused himself before closing the door behind him. 

“Hello, [F/N].” Liam greeted, trying to cut through the awkward silence that came with first seeing each other after four straight years. “I’m very sorry about your gran. She was a great woman.” 

You gave him a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Thanks, Lee. I appreciate it.” 

“No she doesn’t.” Anna muttered. “And it’s Liam.” 

“I don’t mind ‘Lee’.” Liam contested. “My mum called me Lee. I actually quite like it.” 

Anna was in one of her ‘I’m so upset, please ask me why’ moods. She sat on one of the heavy armchairs with her legs crossed and eyes to the wall. You weren’t going to bite. 

Liam wasn’t so cautious. “Princess, what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” She pouted, not even dignifying her husband with a look. “I just think it’s interesting that I put the funeral together all by myself and someone couldn’t even be bothered to speak.” 

You shot Liam a look that said ‘way to go, jackass’. 

“Yeah,” You said, sitting down in an adjacent armchair. “That must suck.” 

Anna glared at you. “You really have nothing to say? Really?” 

You tensed up. “Let’s see, which charming anecdote would you have me tell? How about that time when she made you wear a fat suit for an hour after you complained about how the low-carb ice cream tasted like chemicals?” 

Liam looked in shock at his wife. “Did she really?” 

“Once.” Anna confessed, holding up one finger. 

You turned to Liam, as if you were sharing some hot gossip. “That was all it took to give her an eating disorder when she was thirteen.” 

Hannibal was just a fly on the wall. Anna noticed his lack of reaction. 

“And I bet Hannibal knows all about this, huh?” Anna said, throwing her hand in his direction. “Because he just needs to hear all of our private family business, right?” 

You stood up from your seat. “First of all, I take offense at the implication that my fiancée isn’t family.” 

An evil smile spread on Anna’s face. “But he wasn’t always your fiancé, was he, [F/N]?” 

“Holy shit, you cracked the code.” You said, flatly. “There was a point in time when Hannibal and I weren’t an item. Real shocker, that one.” 

“You know what I mean.” She sneered, then approached Hannibal. “Dr. Lecter, is it true that before you and [F/N] became romantically involved, you were her therapist?” 

Liam looked scandalized. Hannibal was just as put-together as always. 

“That is true.” He said, feeling no shame whatsoever. 

Anna turned back to you. “Now don’t you think that’s just a smidge unethical? For a therapist to date their much younger patient?” 

You narrowed your eyes. You carried yourself with the lightness of a woman who finally had the moral high ground. “So you want to talk about what’s ethical, huh? I suppose that means you’ve told Liam about pineapple.”

All the blood drained from her face. You crossed your arms and held your head up a little higher. 

“That’s what I thought.” You grinned. 

“Look, could we just pretend to be a normal, functioning family for ten minutes?” Anna pleaded, as if there were anyone other than herself to blame for provoking an argument.

“That’s on you two.” Liam, rightfully, pointed out. He gestured to himself and then to Hannibal. “Neither of us have said anything.” 

The estate lawyer must have gotten his juris doctorate alongside a master's in impeccable fucking timing, because that was when he decided to make his entrance.

"I'm sorry for the wait, everyone." He announced. "And I'm sorry for having to pull you aside in your hour of mourning. Usually the last will and testament is handled through email to the beneficiaries, but your grandmother was quite adamant it be approached this way."

"That definitely sounds like her." You said, exchanging glances with Hannibal. You'd talked about this for what felt like hours the week prior. She was going to pull some last-minute bullshit to humiliate you from beyond the grave. Give all the inheritance to Anna and leave a snide comment about you in a legal document. You knew it was coming. All you could hope was for it to be quick.

The lawyer pulled an envelope from his briefcase. "She specifically asked for her two living grandchildren and their significant others to be present."

"Did she say it like that?" Anna raised an eyebrow. "Or was it more like, 'Anna and her husband, and [F/N] and her therapist'?"

"Mrs. Young," Hannibal said, taking your hand. "Until you tell your husband about pineapple, you aren't allowed to judge us."

Anna glared at you. "What the hell? He knows, too?!"

"Yeah." You answered. "I tell him everything."

"Okay, who or what is pineapple?" Liam interjected. "And why do I get the feeling I'm the only one not in the know, here?"

"That's cause you are." You confirmed. "And you have your lovely wife to thank for that."

"Everyone!" The lawyer called out. Clearly, he'd seen his share of dysfunctional families. "Please, let me just read the will and you can continue arguing afterwards."

"Y'know what? Fair enough." You said, crossing your legs. "Let's rip off this band-aid, shall we?"

The lawyer opened the envelope and produced a single page. He cleared his throat.

"I, Beatrice [L/N], being of sound mind and body, do hereby bequeath all my worldly possessions-" He began reading the long first sentence. "Including but not limited to, a collective sum of $45 million, the family home and my shares of the country club, to the first of my granddaughters to give birth."

You expected nothing. You expected something. But you never could have expected this.

"Can you please read that last part again?" You asked, unsure if what you heard was the result of a stroke.

"The entire inheritance goes to the first one of you to have a baby." The lawyer clarified, trying to make it sound like a reasonable arrangement.

"That makes sense." Anna said, nodding.

You looked at her, dumbfounded. "How in the fuck on fire does that make sense to you?"

"Well, the money would be going to a good cause." She rationalized. "To raise the baby, right?"

You shook your head. "No, this is insane. Grandma has always had this weird obsession with bloodlines, and now she's trying to incentivize us to carry it out."

"What happens if neither of us can, y'know?" Anna asked.

The lawyer pushed his glasses up his nose. "If neither granddaughter is willing to produce a child, the entire inheritance will go to the Eagle Forum, so my ungrateful grandchildren can learn about family values."

"She hated the Eagle Forum!" Anna objected. "She wouldn't dare."

"She absolutely would." You pressed your fingers into your forehead. "That's upper-class white moderates for you. And she doesn't have to be around to see when they name a fucking wing after her."

"The Beatrice [L/N] center for denying women bodily autonomy." Hannibal said. "It's quite fitting."

"[F/N], we can't let that happen." Anna pleaded. "We can't let Eagle Forum get a penny of that money."

"Why the hell not?" You said. Though on principle, you agreed, you knew this was just another one of your grandmother's power grabs. At the end of the day, she chose to leave her money to the Eagle Forum. And it would be her name on that check, not yours.

"Oh my god, you actually hate babies more than you hate conservatives." Anna stood with her mouth agape.

"Don't put words in my mouth." You snapped. "I don't hate babies. I hate grandma for trying to threaten me into having one. I hate grandma for pinning us against each other and making sure it stays that way."

"What do you have against giving me a little niece or nephew, huh?" Anna folded her arms.

"I'm fucking done." You said, throwing up your hands. "This will be the last you ever see of me."

Of course, that's what you said the last time.

[fridayfirefly]

The Art of Debate

Read on AO3

Written for Timari January Day 29 - Debate Competition

@timari-month-event

Marinette had always had a gift with words. The ability to use her words to convince people to do what she wanted came naturally to her. At the age of five, Marinette convinced her kindergarten teacher to take their whole class to get ice cream. At the age of thirteen, she joined her first debate team and was a crucial part of the winning debate that got her team third place in Regionals. Two years later, she was the captain of her high school debate team, and they were competing all over France. Two years after that, in her last year of high school, Marinette's team qualified for an international debate competition that took them all around the world. The championship debate, between Francois Dupont Academy and Gotham Academy, was to be held in Gotham.

Marinette had faith in her team that they would win. The team of ten debaters practiced every afternoon for months, led by Marinette and her co-captain Lila.

Lila had been an unexpected addition to the team, given that Marinette and Lila had gotten off to a bad start when Lila first joined her class. However, after witnessing Lila so thoroughly convince the class of a lie so outrageous that Marinette could hardly believe that anyone with half a brain would see right through it, Marinette realized that Lila's skills could be put to good use. Marinette offered the Italian girl a deal. If Lila joined the debate team and promised to never use her lies to cause direct harm, Marinette would no longer call her out of her harmless lies. Lila agreed, and quickly became one of their key debaters.

Over time, Lila started lying less and less, as she realized that she didn't need to lie to make friends. Two years after the first joined the debate team, Lila stayed after practice and offered Marinette a deal. Lila would never lie again if Marinette made her co-captain of the debate team. In full faith, Marinette agreed. She had seen the change in Lila and knew that there was a chance that they might even become friends.

"How's practice going?" asked Marinette as Lila joined her at the front of the classroom. Marinette was going over the paperwork for their upcoming championship debate while Lila was running practice. Their team members were hard at work: Aurore and Mireille were debating net neutrality, Kagami and Ivan were debating the right to own firearms, Sabrina and Nathanial were debating the morality of abortion, and Max and Marc were debating the ethics of medically assisted suicide.

"It's going well. I have everyone partnered up, working on either the affirmative or negative position. Then they'll split into either the research group or the public speaking group, based on what skills they need to improve on."

Marinette smiled. "We're going to win this, I just know it."

Lila gave her a devious smile back. "As if I would let us lose."

---

In the hallway of the Gotham Grand Hotel, outside of the ballroom where the debate tournament was being held, Marinette fed US dollar bills into a vending machine. "Diet coke is... A7." Marinette pressed the button and waited as the machine refused to give her the drink. "Are you serious?" sighed Marinette.

"Need some help?" asked a dark-haired boy in a sweater with an iron-on patch reading Gotham Preparatory Academy Debate Team. He was cute, in a nerdy kind of way. Nerdy wasn't Marinette's usual type, but she could see the appeal with the boy in front of her.

"I gave the machine my money but it won't give me my drink, and my debate - our debate, actually - starts in just a few minutes."

"I'll let you in on a secret. You aren't supposed to shake it, but if you do it anyway..." the boy shook the machine, and Marinette's diet coke tumbled down into the tray below.

Marinette smiled. "Thank you! I'm Marinette Dupain-Cheng, by the way. I'm co-captain of the team from Françoise Dupont."

"Timothy Drake, but you can call me Tim. I look forward to seeing you debate."

"Thanks, you too." Marinette watched as Tim turned and left, jogging to catch up with one of his teammates, a blonde girl who glanced over towards Marinette with a knowing smile on her face. Any other day, Marinette would have spent a little more of her attention on Tim, but today she knew she had to focus. Marinette had a debate to win.

---

"We live in a world facing an incredible number of challenges. However, there is one challenge that often sticks out among the rest as the most pressing issue, with much debate over its severity. Is climate change the greatest threat facing humanity today? Collège Françoise Dupont, you will be arguing the affirmative. Gotham Preparatory Academy, you will be arguing the negative.

Kagami and Max went up first, two excellent debaters, and while the students from Gotham were certainly good, they were no match for Kagami and Max. Kagami had the self-assured confidence to never show any doubt about the validity of her claims and Max had the raw knowledge to win any debate through the sheer amount of factual evidence he could bring to the table. The first round went to Kagami and Max, giving Françoise Dupont a strong start.

As Marinette high-fived Kagami and Max, she caught a glimpse of Tim out of the corner of her eye. He was staring at her with a look on his face that Marinette couldn't quite decipher - confusion or frustration or some mix of the two. Either way, Marinette didn't particularly enjoy being stared at. She met his eyes and stared right back, narrowing her eyes. Tim looked away, a slight flush to his face. Marinette was left feeling more confused than anything else. Why was Tim staring at her, and why with such an odd look on his face?

Three more rounds of debate followed, with wins alternating between Collège Françoise Dupont and Gotham Academy. The schools were tied two and two by the final round, but Marinette couldn't quite stay focused on the debate. The only thing she could focus on was Tim. Watching him in her periphery, Marinette could see him having a heated exchange with one of the girls on his team, the blonde that Marinette had noticed earlier.

"Focus, Marinette!" hissed Lila. "This is the final round, and you and I are up."

The announcer stepped up to the microphone to announce the topic of debate. "This topic has been in the news a lot these past few weeks, with the introduction of the Superhero Registration Act. Though most news sources consider it unlikely that the bill will pass, it raises the question which you will be debating today: Should the government have a larger role in regulating the actions of vigilante superheroes? Gotham Preparatory Academy, you will be arguing the affirmative. Françoise Dupont, you will be arguing the negative."

Marinette shared a look with Lila, who was already smirking. "No way we lose this one," Lila mouthed.

Marinette nodded, narrowing her eyes at the opposing team. Even if Tim was cute, there was no way she was losing.

The affirmative started the debate, meaning that the team from Gotham spoke first. Stephanie Brown, Tim's blonde teammate from earlier, began with a lecture about a lack of accountability associated with vigilante justice. It was a flimsy argument if you knew where to poke holes in it. Luckily, that was what Marinette was best at.

"It's been universally accepted that superheroes are a necessary part of our current culture. The one job a superhero has is to save as many lives as possible. How are they supposed to complete that one job if there is constant government restriction and intervention? We've all watched for years as superheroes operated outside of the government - this is because superheroes don't need to be regulated. In addition, I would like to ask: in what way do superheroes need to be more accountable? Our world has seen time and time again that the superhero community keeps itself in check. When one superhero starts to stray from the path of good, they are held accountable by their fellow superheroes."

The debate continued, back and forth between Marinette, Tim, Lila, and Stephanie. With bated breath, Marinette waited for the results of the round to be announced.

"The final round goes to... Collège Françoise Dupont!"

"We did it!" cheered Marinette, as she got up to congratulate her teammates. She celebrated with the rest of her team but still couldn't shake her odd feeling about Tim Drake. Something wasn't right with him, and Marinette was going to figure out what it was.

There was a celebratory banquet after the competition, in which the awards would be given out and the organizers would give their speeches. As Marinette entered the banquet hall she was Tim slip out of the banquet hall and into the hallway at the other side of the room. She made the snap decision to follow him, maneuvering herself through crowds of people until she got to the right exit.

As Marinette turned down the hallway, she caught Tim whispering into his phone in the hallway. As soon as Tim caught sight of her he quickly hung up his phone and shoved it in his pocket. Marinette approached him, eyes narrowing. "Why were you staring at me?"

Tim glanced around to see if anyone else was around, then blurted out, "You're Ladybug."

Marinette froze. That was not what she expected to hear. "I- I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"You're the Parisian superhero, Ladybug. It all makes sense - black hair, blue eyes, same approximate height and weight. You're incredibly passionate about superheroes - that's what tipped me off in the first place. To top it all off, you're from the same school that Ladybug has a nearly instantaneous response time for dealing with akumas that arise out of it. I didn't see anyone on your team who fit the profile of Chat Noir, but I guarantee that if I were to snoop around online I could find a picture of you with a blonde-haired green-eyed boy." Tim's rapid-fire analysis left Marinette with no chance to refute his claims.

"You figured all of that out during our hour-long debate tournament?"

Tim nodded slowly. "I'm a bit of a detective, myself. In fact, compared to some of my other detective work, figuring out that you were a superhero was easy."

"You're the first person to ever deduce that I'm Ladybug - including my friends, parents, and Chat Noir himself - and all you have to say for yourself is that it was easy?" exclaimed Marinette.

Tim shrugged awkwardly, seeming to have no words to defend himself. Or perhaps it was because he didn't trust himself to say anything, because he had already revealed more than he had intended to. At that point, Marinette started to make her own deductions. The ease at which he had figured out that she was Ladybug. The fact that he had alluded to making other deductions comparable to figuring out Marinette's Ladybug secret. His knowledge of Ladybug - a minor superhero from across the globe - to the extent that he knew not only her approximate height and weight but her reaction times for akumatizations in different areas of Paris. The pieces started coming together in Marinette's mind. Her eyes narrowed as she accused, "You're a superhero too, Timothy Drake. Or, at the very least, you've worked with superheroes before."

Tim took the accusation even less gracefully than Marinette did, shaking his head rapidly as he backed up a few paces. "You have no idea what you're talking about. I have no idea what you're talking about. Me? A superhero? No way!" Tim ended his babbling with a nervous laugh.

Marinette smiled pleasantly, pleased with herself. Although it wasn't ideal that a stranger knew her secret identity, she now knew that Tim wouldn't be spilling her secret to anyone, not when Marinette had the exact same dirt on him. "I'll see you around, Tim." Marinette whipped around and started to walk away.

"Wait, wait, wait! Marinette!" Tim called out.

Marinette tried to suppress the smile on her face as she walked back into the banquet hall. She was beginning to like Tim, and she could tell that this wouldn't be the last she saw of him. Now, all she had to do was get on even footing with him. Perhaps, by figuring out his secret identity. Which, Marinette figured, wouldn't be too difficult. After all, how many superheroes could Gotham possibly have?

(Cut to: Marinette, back at her hotel room, trying to tell the different members of the Batfamily apart. "How do they all have black hair and blue eyes? How is that even possible?")

[softfeelingsandangstywriting]

Whumptober: I’ve Got Red In My Ledger

Leonardo spun forward, slicing his blades down on anything that came near him in a deadly dance. Behind him, he could hear Raphael doing almost the same, anything that dared attack violently killed. He was enjoying himself, too.

Donatello and Michelangelo were definitely doing just fine, too, used to these enemies. Leonardo was pleased, glad to see them finally independent in battle.

Above them, Karai provided support, suddenly taking down an enemy that was getting a bit too close with a throwing sword or kunai, lunging down and stabbing one in the head before returning to her previous position, keeping herself both helpful and available.

Their enemies, the Kraang, were cleared out quickly with an ethic like that, nothing but metallic corpses left around, still and unmoving.

"Was that it?" Raphael called, sounding vaguely disappointed.

"It should be," Donatello chirped back as he picked around one of the bodies.

"I hope it was," Leonardo looked his swords over. Darn, he really needed to get back into the care routine he had before the space thing that happened, however he was supposed to explain that. One of the blades was chipped.

Michelangelo engaged in a game of catch with Karai, using a head as a ball while the rest of them poked around for anything useful, shouting taunts to get her off guard.

A pillar moved.

Leonardo would have brushed it off as a trick of the light, but, being as paranoid as he was, he found himself moving towards it instead.

He could have sworn he saw it move, in the far corner of the room, even if it was just a slight shift to the right-

It moved again, the cracks between plates that seemed like an artistic trend in anything made by Kraang widening.

"Guys?" Leonardo called, the panic in his voice showing as he took a few very large steps back.

The pillar was definitely moving now, slowly expanding as plates moved to reveal bunched up limbs that grabbed at whatever solid support was near to move itself upward.

Oh.

Well. That sucked.

The creature that stood before him reminded him of that one robot samurai they had to fight that one time. (He never remembered the names of the things they had to fight, but he was fairly certain that one’s name was Chrome Dome or something like that).

Behind him, banter and play stopped, everyone bracing for… Whatever Michelangelo planned on naming it.

Then it lunged.

And God was it fast. It moved fast enough to force them to try and keep up, struggling more and more by the second as they had already been coming down from their previous battle. Their mistake. Weapons bounced off its metal plating unless you were specifically aiming for the gaps between its main body and its limbs. Even then, that was risky, close range, and not likely to work. After an especially rough blow to the plastron that he was sure broke his ribs, Leonardo was not too eager to try that again.

Still, they had to have put an emergency shut-down in there somewhere, just in case it went haywire. The Kraang were probably just as hesitant about fighting as they were, right?

Shifting to a more evasive fighting style, Leonardo began to keep an eye out for something they could use as a weak spot, anything that would help them take it down. Already, he was hurting, and he could see that the others were too, blood dripping from various injuries caused by an arsenal of weapons.

It always had a weak spot, there was no way that this one didn’t have one too.

There, on its shoulder, and of course it was somewhere that it could reach.

Leonardo considered, for a moment, that he was getting too old for this, even though he was only just getting into his 20s.

But Karai was in a good spot to hit it, it would really only take one hit, and it would all be over.

“There’s a shut-down on its right shoulder,” he pointed out, getting a couple glances from the others, “Try to grab it if you can!”

With that pointed out to the others, he glanced up to Karai, looking to her for assistance.

And she, noting that he needed her help, catching his glance, paused to look the battle over, then smirked and back out, taking their entry to get out.

Freaking he-

Leonardo ducked down and snaked backwards to avoid getting hit, and heard Raphael yell something after Karai that he didn’t catch. It probably wasn’t that important anyway. What was important though, was actually paying attention to the task at hand.

Gliding over to Michelangelo, Leonardo nudged him, signaling from his chains to the robot (had Michelangelo named it already? There hadn’t been a lot of commentary this time around). It seemed to click almost immediately, and Leonardo stepped back to avoid getting in the way as Michelangelo threw the weapon in a curve, then darted around to grab it and wrap it around the metallic soldier.

Going round and round until he had it secured, Michelangelo bounced back to Leonardo, struggling to hold it and silently requesting assistance. While the oldest and youngest grappled the chains, fighting to hold it still, a sai went flying over their heads and into the hand of Donatello, who promptly adjusted his grip on the weapon and went clambering up the enemy’s back, sai raised to-

It- It collapsed.

The chains slackened as it crumpled to the ground, unmoving, and Donatello hopped off to avoid falling. For a long moment, everyone was silent.

“Did- Did you get it?” Michelangelo asked tentatively.

“No-” Donatello almost shrieked, looking it over.

“So it just shut down on its own?” Raphael eyed the body suspiciously, as if it might get up and start moving at any second.

“I don’t know Raph, it just suddenly fell, I didn’t do anything to it!”

They all paused, still watching, still waiting, just in case it got back up. Leonardo tightened his grip on the chains and pulled back slightly to tighten them. That way, if it did try again, they would already have it down. He’s restrained large creatures before, it wasn’t like he couldn’t do it again.

Seconds turned to minutes without any sign of life, and slowly, they relaxed, gathering up weapons and turning to leave. It wasn’t up anymore, and they had finished up everything else they needed to do, so there really wasn’t much point in staying anymore. After all, they were injured, too, they needed to take care of those. Donatello could only work so fast in the middle of a fight, so any stitches he had to give while they were out of sight were hastily done.

On their way down to the sewers, Raphael rambled about the stunt Karai pulled, clearly angry at her. Leonardo silently lamented as he still didn’t trust their sister as he talked, bracing for raised voices and insults.

“Raph,” he began, trying to keep his voice soft, “calm down. You’re getting worked up over nothing.”

“I’m getting worked up over nothing ?!” Raphael whirled on his heel, snarling at Leo, “She left us in the middle of a fight, Leo! I’m not going to calm down! You brought her here, this is  your fault!”

“It was probably a misunderstanding, Raph. She’s been on our side for a long time now. Please just lower your voice, at least.”

Raphael was still wound up from the battle, Leonardo could see it in his face and in his posture. Tense, squared up, jumpy. His adrenaline was still going, and it probably wasn’t the best idea to agitate him further.

And he was staring, he was silent. Raphael wasn’t usually silent when he was angry, what was going on-?

Leonardo reeled back when Raphael lashed out at him, but not fast enough. There was a sharp crack, and he realized that there was blood dripping from his beak long before the pain actually registered. There was blood on the hothead’s knuckles, too, but he looked like something had suddenly clicked and he was definitely regretting what he did.

Leonardo, however, could not find the energy in himself to really care.

Raphael almost immediately began feverishly apologizing while Donatello tried to peer past Leonardo’s hand at his beak, scolding Raphael for striking out like that. Michelangelo yelled something along the lines of “that was uncalled for”.

“Leo, move your hand,” Donatello ordered, and Leonardo obeyed, pulling his hand away and seeing red. Oh, great.

“Well,” The resident doctor announced after a long moment, “I’m pretty sure it’s broken, but we’ll find out once we get home. Raph, when this is over, we are going to have a very long talk.”

Leonardo “hmm”ed softly as they started walking again, wiping blood off his face. The pain was, in the moment, actually manageable. It wasn’t too terrible, he really didn’t understand what the big deal was. Faces were easy to break anyway, he was fine as long as it didn’t really affect anything.

%%%

Once home, Donatello approached Leonardo with the first aid kit, clearly wanting to go to him first since he possibly had his beak broken.

But one glance over Donatello, and Leonardo knew that he should probably get some care first.

“Don, take a look at yourself, first. If you’re bleeding all over the place you can’t take care of anybody else.”

The purple-clad opened his mouth like he wanted to argue with him over that, before realizing that no, it was not an argument he was going to win. He lingered for a long moment, then turned away to deal with the others first. Leonardo smirked, knowing he had won, and turned his attention to cleaning his katanas and figuring out the best way to repair the chip in the blade.

Eventually, when Donatello returned, bandaged and looking a little more than annoyed, he grabbed Leonardo’s face and made him look at the genius before slowly bandaging his beak. Leonardo said nothing, although the movements jostled whatever was broken and made it sting, he refused to wince or hiss over something so small. While Donatello went on to cleaning and bandaging the other injuries, he confirmed his earlier suspicion.

“It is broken.”

Raphael flinched, like that was the worst thing in the world (Leonardo knew it was guilt, but didn’t say anything about that).

“Oh,” he said, mulling it over. Like he said, it wasn’t too bad, it was only his beak.

“What do you mean oh?” Donatello’s voice raised slightly, almost into a screech.

“I mean, it's not really that bad, right? It's not gonna, y’know, affect anything, it just hurts.”

Everybody blinked, astonished, before it clicked that of course Leonardo would be so unbothered by it, he was just Leonardo, he didn’t really have the energy, nor the will to care about things like that anymore.

Donatello scowled and Raphael still apologized anyway, Michelangelo was silent across the room, staring at Leonardo.

Leonardo had to cut Raphael off. It was fine, he was angry too, he knew that they still didn’t fully trust Karai, it was fine, it was fine.

He could still tell that Raphael was beating himself up about it, though. It was always clear, the hothead was like an open book.

%%%

It was two in the morning.

It was two in the morning.

It was two in the morning.

Raphael groaned and rolled over to slap the hand shaking him, presuming that it could only be Michelangelo.

Instead, the hand he grabbed was far more callused from endless hours of training, scarred from brutal battles that were long past.

He paused, blinking the sleep from his eyes as he tried to get his head working. They had to fight blind plenty of times, they all learned to recognize each other just by the feel of their scales and hands. There was only one person who trained enough to get his hands that rough, free of childish innocence and soft skin.

“Leo?” Raphael mumbled, slowly sitting up and yawning, “What is it?”

“I need you to come with me, we’re supposed to meet up with Karai,” Leonardo whispered in the dark, still invisible to Raphael. They were-

“What?”

“Mhm. She texted me like, an hour ago. She wants to explain to the two of us. You, because you were so upset and me because, y’know.”

“Oh.”

Raphael blinked a few more times. His eyes had finally adjusted to the dark, and he could see a burning gaze fixated on him. It was almost creepy. After all, Leonardo always managed to be the stealthiest of them, so it was like those horror movies, just seeing a shadow, then bright eyes reflecting dim light and just. Staring.

He grunted and kicked out weakly to move the older of the two before he crawled out of bed, yawning again and stretching. “Alright, alright, let's go.” He didn’t even have his mask on yet, but this was clearly something that Leonardo wanted to get to quickly, and considering that Raphael planned on getting back to sleep immediately, he wasn’t too eager about getting his gear on for this event.

As they got going, he kept his eye on the bandages over his brother’s beak. Frick- He did that? Why? What was even his point? Instead of asking if Leonardo was angry, what came out was:

“Why'd she only want us to come?”

“Me and her are closer and you're more distrustful. Don and Mikey are just neutral towards her, she assumed they’d be less angry about it.”

“Oh.”

“Oh is right. Move faster, we'll be late at this rate.”

“It's the middle of the day for humans, Leo.”

“And? She will leave if we take too long.”

They neared what Raphael could only assume was the meeting spot, the roar of water getting louder until it was almost deafening. By the waterfall, Karai was leaned up against the wall, and Raphael’s rage flared up. That little-

He paused for just a second, trying to take deep breaths and soothe his anger. Something bad had already come out of it, he didn’t need anymore guilt on his mind.

Still, she smiled at them like nothing had happened, and didn’t even move to stand up straight. He wanted to wring her neck because of it. No apology? Nothing? No “sorry for abandoning you when you needed help”?

“What’s up?” she greeted casually, like nothing happened.

“You know what’s up,” he snarled, unable to help himself from snarking at her.

"Raph," Leonardo whisper-hissed, "Don't yell at her." After a moment to compose himself, the eldest met Karai's gaze evenly. "Still, we do want to know: Why?"

"Yeah, about that," Karai began, rubbing the back of her head, "I didn't really, y'know mean anything by it. I just knew an easier way to take it down quickly, and well, it'd be faster to do that, too, so…"

As she trailed off, Raphael shrank where he stood.

Oh. It really was a misunderstanding.

Leonardo nodded as if he understood what she had done and why she had done it. He probably did, too.

"Sorry, it uh, it probably looked like I was just leaving, huh? And uh, you're all definitely worse for wear."

Leonardo thanked her for apologizing, and Raph felt nothing as his brother did. that was not what he needed to make his night better.

Before he realized it, Leonardo was poking him, telling him Karai left a bit ago, he was waiting for Raphael to process, and they needed to go. Raphael nodded stiffly and walked in a daze, head down.

"You were right," Raphael mumbled at some point, getting a look and a "hm?". "It was just a misunderstanding. Sorry about- Y'know, about hitting you."

Leonardo stared for a long minute, leaving Raphael in uncomfortable silence for a bit before smiling, "It's alright, I already told you that, Raph.”

And there he went, just accepting the apology like it was nothing, because he was Leonardo.

Raphael turned on the TV when they got back, switching the channel to the news before settling down, unable to sleep. Leonardo, apparently, had the same idea, sitting down next to him. This time, silence was far more cozy. When they fell asleep there, nobody said a word about it in the morning.

[whenihaveyouromione]

When I Have You - Chapter 19

Read on Fanfiction.net or ao3 if you’d prefer!

Follow this story’s Instagram account whenihaveyou.romione if you want. 

-------------------

Chapter 19

A few days later came the new year, which was something — Ron felt — every single person in the wizarding world was looking forward to. The year 1998 had been horrid, but with the strike of the clock signalling the start of a new one, many people felt as if they were inhaling a breath of much needed fresh air. 

The loss of loved ones, the tragedy of what had happened, was still raw for many, but with every passing day, things became more normal again, and the new year helped with that. 

Since Christmas, Ron had found his relationship with Hermione easier than it had ever been. Looking back, he felt that maybe the argument they had, had turned out to be a good thing. Not because he liked fighting with her — he’d never really liked that — but because it had made them appreciate each other just a little bit more. 

Hermione had been trying her best not to obsess over her school work as much, or at least, not when Ron was around. During his second visit to Hogsmeade on Valentine’s Day, Ginny had mentioned that they were up to their necks in work, but Hermione had not complained once. In fact, they had spent a really nice day together.

Ron had also tried to be more appreciative of her work ethic and more tolerant of her just needing to get things done before she could relax. Which wasn’t too hard, considering most of their days were spent apart still. 

Auror training had taken on a whole new intensity after the holidays, and Ron, Harry and Neville were being pushed to their utmost limits each day. By the time five o’clock came around, they were absolutely wrecked and would fall asleep before seven on most evenings. 

Ron had no regrets, though. Despite the hard, long days, he felt he was becoming a better wizard for it. 

In the beginning months, he’d spent almost every weekend at the joke shop, assisting George in getting it up and running again. Every time he showed up, George’s mood seemed to lighten just a little bit more, and in March, when he had finally opened up for business, Ron hadn’t seen him happier than when he was greeting all of his customers. 

He now had three other staff manning the front, leaving him with plenty of time to continue producing products. He’d enlisted the help of Lee Jordan, though Lee was only doing it on a basis of friendship. He had his own job with the Daily Prophet. It wasn’t the perfect situation, but it was something, and Ron felt pleased to see a smile on his brother’s face again.

The months ticked by in a whirl, and before they knew it, the end of April had snuck up on them  (with no sign of Bill and Fleur’s baby, much to Molly’s annoyance), and they were just days away from the start of May. 

Ron had not had much time to think about what this meant until a week prior. Kingsley, who despite being Minister now, popped in on Auror training at least three times a week, had announced that there’d be a memorial service at the school on the second. Anyone — current student or ex student — was invited, and he’d cornered Harry on a Friday afternoon — a week before the service. 

“Would you be willing to give a short speech on the day?” Kingsley had asked. “Doesn’t have to be anything spectacular. Just… something. They’ll appreciate hearing from you, I think.”

Harry, at first, had not agreed. No one wanted to be reminded of what had happened, of the high number of deaths, not to mention the immense burden of guilt Harry still felt over everything that had happened. A service was going to be hard enough, let alone being forced to relive it through words. But after some more gentle persuasion from the Minister for Magic, Harry seemed to think he had no choice. 

“You’re braver than I am, mate,” Ron had said when they left the Ministry that evening, Harry looking rather glum. “Not sure I could do it.”

“Yeah,” Harry had said, “not sure I can either. What do I even say?”

A week later and Harry was still asking that same question. 

“It’s just a lot to think about,” Harry sighed on the evening before the service. He sat with Ron in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, trying to find the words he needed. “I mean, I thought I was alright — training has definitely kept me preoccupied — but now that I actually have to think about it… it’s a lot to take in.”

“Yeah,” Ron said thoughtfully, his mind flashing to Fred, and Remus, and Tonks. “It’s going to be tough. I can’t believe it’s been a year already.”

“It’s been a wave of emotions, that’s for sure,” Harry agreed. “This past year…”

“But it’s had it’s good moments,” Ron added. “I try to think about them, mostly.”

“Yeah, it has.” Harry stared down at the blank parchment in front of him. “I suppose I could start with that. Some good things that have happened despite everything else? I mean, a year without Voldemort — for real — is something people have wanted for a long time, and we’ve finally achieved that.”

“Yeah, but there’s still Death Eaters and other Dark wizards roaming about, isn’t there?” Ron said. “That’s why they still want Aurors.”

“With no one to lead them,” Harry said. He paused. “I could always begin with how great it is to see Hogwarts returned to its full strength. To see people back there, like it once was…” He scribbled a few words on the parchment, gave a loud grunt of frustration, and tossed the quill aside.

“You could always just make it up as you go?” Ron suggested. “I mean, that’s probably what I’d do.”

“Do you want to speak then?” Harry asked, sounding irritated. “If you think you can do it —”

“Merlin, no!” Ron exclaimed. “I’m no good with speaking in front of people. Not in a situation like that. I’ll get all tongue-tied, stumble on my words...”

Harry groaned, smacking his forehead against the table. “Could use some Felix Felicis right now. Just a few drops…”

“Where could you get some from?” Ron asked, thinking that might not be a bad idea. If they both took some, they could probably come up with a ten page speech within the hour. 

“Dunno,” Harry said. “Do they sell it at the apothecary in Diagon Alley?”

“I doubt it,” Ron said. “I mean, if they just sold it to anyone… but, you’re not really anyone, are you?”

Harry looked up, smiling. “Ha! I suppose I could go in and ask and they might give me some… but no. I’ll think of something. I’m sure. If Hermione were here…”

“It’d be like the good old days,” Ron said, grinning. “Us leaving something to the last minute, then her being unable to resist the urge to help us… if only she were here…”

“Well, we’ll see her tomorrow,” Harry said, rolling up the parchment. “I think maybe we’ll have dinner and I’ll have another crack at it afterwards. What do you fancy tonight?”

“Mum’s cooking, maybe?” Ron said.

“Have you asked?”

“No, but you know what she’s like,” Ron said, shrugging. “She always overcooks. Come on, or she’ll kick us out.”

“I thought the idea of us living on our own was learning how to fend for ourselves?” Harry said, getting to his feet with Ron. 

“Yeah, well, we do most nights,” Ron said.

“Yeah, by buying something,” Harry teased.

“With our own money!”

Harry laughed. “That’s fair. Alright, let’s go.”

But when they got to the Burrow, they found it unusually quiet. It was around the time Ron’s parents usually had dinner, but there was no one in the kitchen, nor, did it seem, anyone was in the house at all.

“Huh,” Ron said, moving to the stairs. “Seems to be no one here. Hello?”

There was a shuffle as one of the bedroom doors opened. A moment later, Arthur appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

“Oh, hello, you two!” he said brightly. “Come for dinner? Well, unfortunately, you’re out of luck.”

“Where’s Mum?” Ron asked, following his dad back into the kitchen. 

“At Bill and Fleur’s,” Arthur said.

“Oh, right. Why?”

“Fleur’s having her baby,” Arthur said, grinning. “Bill came by not even an hour ago to tell us. We don’t think it’ll be for a while, though, so I’m not sure when your mother will return.”

“Oh, wow,” Harry said. “I was wondering when that would happen.”

“Yes,” Arthur said, still smiling. “The wait has been rather agonising, but it seems the little one has chosen a very busy time to make her arrival…” He stared thoughtfully at the pots and pans in the sink. “I hear you’re speaking tomorrow, Harry? At the service?”

“Er, yeah,” Harry said, going pink. “I said I would, at least. Finding the right words to say is becoming far more difficult than I thought.”

“I’m sure they’ll come to you, Harry,” Arthur said, patting him on the shoulder. “I couldn’t think of anyone more deserving to speak at such an important and memorable event. A year…”

There was silence. Then Arthur shook his head, and added, “Wouldn’t it be a miracle if this baby made her arrival tomorrow… one year after Fred… well, one year after everything, really?”

“I suppose we’d have something to celebrate then, wouldn’t we?” Ron said, though he wasn’t sure he’d appreciate one of his children being born on such a day. The feelings he’d feel would be extremely conflicting — unsure on whether to feel happy or sad, whether he should be celebrating or grieving. “I hope the baby’s born before midnight, actually,” he added.

Arthur smiled. “Yes, it is rather confusing,” he said. “Anyway, boys, seeing as your purpose for coming hasn’t been successful, is there anything I can send you back with? Ingredients? I could whip something up, perhaps…”

Ron looked to Harry, who seemed lost in thought. His face was screwed up in concentration, as if he couldn’t quite get an idea through his head. 

“You alright, mate?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, I’ve just had an idea about what I might say,” he said. He looked to Arthur. “Thanks, Mr Weasley. We’ll probably head back, though. Get this speech done…”

Ron, feeling mildly disappointed, nodded. His stomach gave a loud rumble, causing his dad and Harry to laugh. 

“On second thoughts,” Harry said, “maybe just a quick bite to eat. Then we’ll get started.”

…

The mood at Hogwarts castle on the second of May was not all that different to what it had been like at the funerals almost a year ago. There was a sullen mood around the grounds, people dressed in their finest robes for the occasion, huddled in small groups and whispering amongst themselves. 

The service would take place on the Quidditch pitch at eleven o’clock, and despite being half an hour early, the stadium was already half full. It was mostly filled with faces Ron didn’t even recognise, but scattered throughout was the odd familiar one. Slightly to his left was Luna, Cho Chang and some other Ravenclaws he vaguely recalled from his Hogwarts days. 

To his right, and up a few tiers, was Lee Jordan, Angelina, Katie, and Alicia. He gave them a small wave, to which they returned without smiles. 

But the faces that cheered Ron the most — despite Hermione’s, whom he was sitting beside — were those of Seamus and Dean. It had been a whole year with hardly even laying eyes on them, and it had never occurred to Ron just how much he missed them. 

Both of them had taken a year off doing anything — a much needed break after fighting a war, as Seamus had put it. But now, as the first year drew to an end, both had plans to begin their new careers. 

“I’m going to get into Healing, I think,” Seamus said. 

“Healing?” Ron asked, unable to hide his surprise. “Didn’t take you much for a Healer, mate.”

At this, Seamus looked rather embarrassed. “Well… I didn’t think so either, but over the past year, I’ve really worked with Lavender and her recovery from the werewolf attack. It’s sparked an interest, seeing what Healers can do to help her…”

“How is she doing?” Hermione asked softly. “I’ve heard she’s —”

“She’s alright,” Seamus said with a shrug. “Refused to come to this. Didn’t want to be seen in public, but she’s alright. Speaks in sign language now. I’ve become quite good at it, actually. Understanding it, I mean.”

“Sign language?” Hermione said. “So it’s true? I wasn’t sure if they were just rumours or not…”

“Yeah, she had her throat ripped apart by Greyback,” Seamus said plainly, and Ron felt rather sick at the imagery. He remembered the last time he’d seen Lavender, Greyback over her, her looking close to death. He’d been surprised to hear she’d survived at all, if he was being honest.  

“Pretty bad… can’t speak…” Seamus shrugged again, as if it was no issue. “Doesn’t change anything about her, though. She’s been really good about it all, though I think the thought of facing so many of her old friends… she only lets me and Parvati see her.”

“Why you?” Ron asked, unable to help himself. “Are you and her —”

“Dean,” Hermione said quickly, “What about you?”

Dean jumped, apparently startled to hear his name. “Oh. I, um, am starting Auror training.”

“What?” Ron asked. “You serious?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah. The Minister, he’s still kept the requirements relaxed for this year, so I thought why not? I qualify on the grounds of having fought in the war — even though I spent some of it on the run — and I applied and was accepted.”

“That’s great!” Ron said. “You’ll just be a year behind training from me and Harry and Neville. We’ll all be working together in no time.”

Dean grinned. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Will be great seeing you all every day. Any tips for training?”

“Yeah, be prepared not to sleep much,” Ron said. “Oh, and you passed your Apparition test, right?”

Dean nodded. 

“Then you’re all good, mate,” Ron said. “Will see you around. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Thanks,” Dean said. “I’ll probably need a lot of advice as it progresses.”

They were interrupted by Kingsley as he announced they’d be beginning the service in a few moments. Once seated and out of earshot of the pair, Ron whispered to Hermione, “Is Seamus —”

“Yes,” Hermione said. She looked at him, appearing slightly irritated. “Does that bother you, does it?”

“No,” Ron said. “I’m just surprised, that’s all. They don’t seem the type… poor bloke.”

Hermione raised an eyebrow, but said nothing more. In fact, she looked rather annoyed that he was asking at all. It wasn’t until a moment later did he realise that maybe she thought he was jealous of the fact that Seamus was dating Lavender, but he had no time to rectify that misunderstanding as Kingsley had just asked for silence.

What had been a semi-pleasant atmosphere prior to the service, immediately turned into a very sullen one. Everyone sat in their seats with their heads bowed, listening to the voices of those who had been asked to speak, along with Harry. 

There were students, Ministry workers, Kingsley himself, their words amplifying through the quiet stadium, the only other sound being the quiet sobs from the people around. 

Knowing what Hermione was like, Ron cast occasional looks towards her to see if she was okay. She did well, keeping it together until Kingsley stepped up onto the podium on the pitch. He only got a few words in before tears started to fall from her eyes. 

Ron reached out his hand, palm up, and she gratefully accepted, locking their fingers together. Her head rested against his shoulder and he patted her comfortingly while she silently sobbed against him. 

When Kingsley finished, everyone was left in complete silence. Eyes downcast, staring blankly at hands, buried in the shoulders of loved ones — as Hermione was — but that didn’t stop them all from looking up when the final speaker stepped up.

Despite it being a year, despite Harry having made several appearances at Hogwarts since then, there was still an air of awe amongst the people as they stared in fascination at him. Even Hermione lifted her head, wiping her eyes. 

Ron gripped her hand tightly, and she squeezed back. He felt nervous for Harry, knowing how difficult it had been to come up with something to say. They had been up until two o’clock finalising it, and Ron just hoped Harry could get through it. 

Harry looked around at everyone, appearing terrified. All eyes were on him, expectantly waiting for him to say something. Ron saw him swallow as he brought his wand to his throat. He gave a loud sigh.

“I am here merely to repeat what everyone else has said,” he began. “To remember. On this day, one year ago, many innocent lives were lost. Many families destroyed, my own included.”

Ron knew it was the wrong moment, but he couldn’t help but smile. My own included. Harry considered Ron’s family his family. 

“This isn’t what we wrote last night,” Ron whispered to Hermione.

She shook her head, telling him to be quiet. 

“But we remember every single one of them for the bravery they displayed, and how valiantly they all fought,” Harry continued. “And no matter how many years pass, how many times we gather here to remember the fallen, their memories will forever live within us. So, I present to you —” he flicked his wand to a large covered object. The cover fell away, and many gasps filled the stadium, Ron included.

Harry had just revealed the memorial that had been announced shortly after the war, but it was better than Ron could have ever imagined.

A large, stone structure reflected not only the names of every single person who had died, but smiling, flashing pictures of them as well. Even from where he sat, Ron could see Fred’s picture. He turned to Hermione, lost for words. She smiled weakly at him. 

“It was my idea,” she whispered. “If you tap your wand on each picture, it will reveal information on each of them. Ginny, Luna and I have been doing it all year, sending off owls to families, researching… I wanted it to be a surprise for you… for your family…”

Ron gazed at her, unable to speak. She turned red. 

“It was… well, it was what I was working on last Christmas… why I wanted to stay...” She turned to look back at the memorial. “I thought it would be better than a book, more interesting, more engaging for students to learn from. They could just walk up to it, tap on it, and then read and learn…”

“You. Are. Incredible,” Ron said, realising only now that a loud murmur had overcome the silence that had been there a moment ago. Kingsley had started demonstrating how the memorial worked to many awed gasps.

Hermione flushed. “It was just —”

“Amazing,” Ron said. “Amazing. You…”

“Fred’s memory will always be there now. He’ll live on. Here, and at the Ministry. Everyone will know what he did… as well as Harry’s parents, Remus, Tonks, Sirius… anyone who ever fought.”

“I love you,” was all Ron could manage to say, and she smiled, looking rather embarrassed.

“Come on,” Hermione said, tugging his hand. “Kingsley promised us a first look close up, before anyone else.”

Ron followed her past a stunned audience, and onto the pitch. Ginny was already there, tears in her eyes, along with a handful of other people. 

Seeing his sister, and knowing what she must have been feeling, he let go of Hermione’s hand and pulled Ginny into a tight hug. She hugged him back, shaking against him. 

“You should have said something,” he said, pulling away from her after a moment. 

“It was going to be a surprise,” Ginny replied softly, wiping away her tears. “But because Mum and Dad and Bill couldn’t make it, Charlie and Percy had to work, George… well, George couldn’t come…” She turned her head to the monument just as Harry came over to them. “It’s so much better than I imagined it. So much magic went into it, too. All Hermione, of course. She’ll get an Outstanding in her NEWT in Charms.”

“You and Luna and McGonagall and Flitwick all helped equally,” Hermione said. 

Ron looked to Harry, who was gazing up at the structure in awe. His eyes were fixed firmly on the pictures of his parents.

“You kept this a secret,” Ron said.

Harry shook his head, his eyes still on his parents. “I had no idea until just before the service,” Harry said. “Kingsley told me…”

“Go on,” Ginny whispered, nudging Harry forward. “You go first.”

"Me?" Harry asked, looking uncertain.

"No one more deserving," Ron said.

Looking bewildered, and a little apprehensive, Harry stepped forward to the monument, where the smiling faces of all those who'd died flashed at them. Drawing his wand, Harry tapped it against his mother's name and immediately everyone else disappeared to reveal a whole section on just Lily. 

Harry gasped, stepping back. His eyes scanned the paragraphs written about her life, her involvement in the first war, her death… more pictures appeared, revealing her life at school, her life with James and Harry, in the Order…

"Ginny," Harry said, turning to her. "Thank you."

It was Ginny's turn to blush — a very rare occurrence. But Ron couldn't blame her; Harry was staring at her with such deep intensity that even Ron had to look away. 

"It was all Hermione, really…" she mumbled.

"Stop being modest!" Hermione said, sounding frustrated. 

Harry tapped his wand again, the monument going back to all the names. He tapped his father and the same thing happened. 

More people were beginning to file down onto the pitch in curious whispers, desperate to have a closer look at this new kind of magic. 

"How did this idea come to you anyway?" Ron asked Hermione as they watched Harry now flick through Sirius and Tonks and Remus’ information. 

"Well, Muggle technology, really," Hermione said. "In computer games, and things like that, you have selection screens… options… it's a bit like that." 

"Oh… cool," Ron said. 

Once done, Harry stepped aside and turned to Ron and Ginny. “Go on,” he said to them. “Your turn.”

Ron looked to his sister and saw the same apprehension on her face that he felt. What would they see once they tapped on Fred?

“Come on,” Ginny said in a hushed tone. “Come and see it. For our family.”

Ron nodded, swallowing a hard lump in his throat. They stepped forward together, and it was Ginny who drew her wand and tapped Fred’s name on the monument. Like it had done with all the others, information about Fred immediately popped up, flashing pictures of him as a child, as a teen, and then of him as a young adult. There was a lot of information about him, probably helped by Ginny who could share a lot more than most. 

They stood reading it together, Harry and Hermione a little way behind them. Then, once finished, Ginny sniffed.

“Oh, I wish Mum and Dad were here to see this.”

“They’ll see it,” Ron said, throwing an arm across her shoulder. “One day. If not this one, the Ministry one, right?”

Ginny nodded, wiping away a few stray tears. 

“Come on,” Ron said, turning around and stepping away as other eager people moved in around them, keen to get a closer look. “Let’s go back up to the castle. I think I’ve had enough for today.”

Ron and Ginny, along with Harry and Hermione, began to slowly walk back up. Others were also trickling up, with others walking towards Hogsmeade so as to Apparate. It had only been a little over an hour since the service had started, but it had been emotionally and mentally draining, being forced to relive such an awful event. Ron felt as if he could sleep a whole day away after it. 

“Do you think they’ll do it every year?” Hermione asked once they reached the Entrance Hall.

“They should,” Ron said. “Always need to remember that kind of thing, don’t we?”

The others nodded.

“It’ll hopefully get easier as the years go on,” Harry said. “Easier to handle.”

“This day will always be remembered,” Hermione said. 

“Ah, Ginny, Ron…” 

Everyone turned to find McGonagall hurrying into the hall behind some students. Despite what had just taken place, she had a smile on her face. “I have just had word from your father.”

Ginny gasped. “Did Fleur —?”

“Congratulations,” McGonagall said. “You have a niece. Victoire Weasley, so I am told. Born at eleven-thirteen this morning.”

“Victoire…” Ginny said, saying the name a few times. She smiled. “I like it.”

“Yeah…” Ron said, turning to Hermione who beamed up at him. 

“Congratulations,” she said, taking a step closer to him and kissing his cheek. “You’re now Uncle Ron.”

“Er… thanks.” The name sounded weird to Ron, like it didn’t quite fit him. Though, he supposed he’d get used to it. With six other siblings, he supposed this baby — Victoire — wouldn’t be the last. 

“Come on,” Ginny said after a moment. “Let’s get something to eat. Maybe Mum and Dad might come and join us soon. Give us some details about baby Victoire.” She wandered off towards the Great Hall, Harry following her.

“You okay?” Hermione asked, looking up at Ron. 

“Yeah,” Ron said. “Yeah, I’m okay.” He smiled at her, then kissed her. “Just a lot to take, isn’t it? And now with the baby — Victoire — being born today…” 

“You’ll have a reason to remember, to grieve, and now to celebrate,” Hermione said softly. She smiled. “Come on, let’s find a place to sit before everyone else comes in. Just in case your parents do show up.”

Ron nodded, and as the crowd entering the castle thickened, they made their way towards the Great Hall, joining Harry and Ginny at the end of one of the long tables and helping themselves to the feast that had been prepared for everyone attending the service. 

[bqstqnbruin]

Three times he said it as a friend and once as something more

Hello, hello. I’m still working on the Nick Robertson request but wow I don’t want you to hate me for it because it is actual trash right now and I’m sorry. But I’m also working on B&W part 3, so there’s that!

This was requested from that fluffs prompt list, which I think I’m done with now because honestly, it’s so far deep at this point, and I’m so lazy.

I hope you like it!

46. Why should we date?

47. Because we’re attracted to each other

48. I’m attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.

__________________________

one

“Next time I see you, I really do expect you to be a professional athlete,” you tell Charlie, the two of you laying on a blanket in his backyard, enjoying the last few hours of sunlight on his last night in town. The next morning, he would be leaving to go to BU to play hockey. It wasn’t even that far, but him not living at home, and you going to school in Vermont meant him no longer driving you to school each morning, you no longer going over with dinner your mom made when she knew he and his parents were running around because of his games, no more walking next door whenever you needed to talk to instead of calling him. The memories would last forever, but those moments were now just part of the past.

“Are you not gonna come see me play at BU at all? What about when we play UVM?” he says, turning his head to look you.

Turning to him, you roll your eyes, “Ok, fine. Then I expect you to be a professional athlete in the next three years.” 

“Whatever,” he says, laughing. 

You sit there in silence, taking in what is probably one of the last moments for a while that you two will be able to spend a lot of time together. 

“Remember how we became friends?” he asks, sitting up. 

You follow suit, laughing at the memory that he just triggered. You were neighbors since your family moved to Weymouth, but you weren’t automatically friends because of it. “Well, duh. We sat across from each other in Family Consumer Science. We, of course, always finished the work early because we’re great, and we played pencil hockey for like thirty minutes before Mrs. Grace yelled at us for distracting the other two at our table.”

“The fact that you ever finished your work fast in that class is still amazing. You get distracted by everything and can’t focus on anything.”

“Yeah, well,” you shrug it off. You sit there thinking of all the other good memories you had with him; sitting across from each other in US history and joking about all the mistakes you made while texting, the nights when you would walk around Boston Common once your parents trusted you out on your own, the last minute Bruins tickets he would get and force you to go along with him to the games.

“Did you ever think about what our lives would have been like if we dated?”

“What?” you ask, shocked. There was no way the two of you would ever date. He was destined to be a professional hockey player, traveling the US and Canada with whatever NHL team wanted him. You could never date someone that wasn’t going to be there when you needed them. And you couldn’t ask him to give up your dream for you. Yes, you were overthinking this, but best case scenario is that you had dated throughout high school and ended things tonight.

“Most people thought we were dating, anyway. What if we actually had?”

“Then we probably would have broken up tonight because long distance relationships from high school never work. Look at Andrea and Eric from last year, she went to Holy Cross and he only went to UConn and they could never make it work so they broke up. Or Josh and Maggie two years ago; he went to Ohio and ended up transferring to UMass so he could be with her and he loved Ohio State.”

“Too bad we never even gave it a chance.”

You look at him, shocked. “Did you want to?”

His only response was shrugging, a smile on his face as he lays back down on the blanket. You stay sitting up, thinking about what he just said. Did he want to date you all this time and never said anything until now? And why the hell would he do something like that anyway? You weren’t going to see him until at least Thanksgiving, which means that now you have to hyper fixate on this one memory until you see him again. 

“Hey,” he says, snapping you out of it.

“Yeah?”

  “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” 

two

Your phone lights up, causing you to tear your eyes away from the essay you had been writing that’s due in a few hours. Due to your great talent for procrastinating, you were, of course, finishing the paper at the last minute. The picture of you two in the Coyle’s front yard on your first day of school in six grade shows up on your screen, meaning Charlie was calling you. It had been forever since the two of you last talked; with you being in school and him trying to make it as a hockey player in Minnesota, your schedules never gave you a free moment to talk for more than a passing moment. 

“Hey, stranger,” you say, not hiding the smile on your face even though you were out in public. You hated showing any sort of emotion that would provoke someone to come up to you and start talking to you, but seeing Charlie’s name come up on your phone with something other than a text automatically made you smile. 

“Stranger? You know who I am.” You could tell by his voice that he was jokingly acting offended. 

“Yeah, you’re Zach Parise, right?” you tease.

You hear the laugh you miss so much on the other end, “How have you been?”

“Uh, stressed, lately, so nothing new.”

“Why?”

“Homework, papers, and exams.”

“Oh, my.” You both start laughing at the accidental joke he made, “Why so much stuff?”

“It’s midterms, babe.” 

“So I assume that you’re working right now?”

“Yep, it’s eight pm, the paper is due at midnight and I still have four more pages to write.”

` “I’m so glad that your work ethic hasn’t changed since high school.”

“Ok, rude! I have good work ethic, I just also have strong procrastination skills.”

“You probably have ADHD,” he says.

“Well, yes, but that’s a different story.”

“What’s your weekend look like? I want to catch up when you don’t have a lot of work to do.”

“Uh, I should be good.”

“Alright, get back to the paper.”

“I will. Love ya.”

“Love you, too.” 

three

“Oh, come on! We practically live together. You can’t deny that something is going on between us!” Charlie argues, pacing around the kitchen as you make dinner. This conversation between the two of you was becoming a weekly one, slowly getting on your nerves to the point where you would consider moving just to get away from it. 

“Because what happens if we break up? We’ve been friends since we were in middle school. Do you really want to throw all that away?” you say, turning to him, putting your hand on your hip. 

“I just think we should go out as more than friends just once.”

“And how would that be different than all the other times that we go out together?”

“Because then I could do things like hold your hand and flirt with you?”

“I’m like ninety percent sure you already flirt with me.” 

“Y/N.”

“Why should we date, Charlie?”

“Because we’re attracted to each other?”

“And I’m attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie,” you roll your eyes, turning your attention back to the stove. 

“You’re seriously equating me to pie right now? I have never seen you eat pie, therefore, that argument is invalid.”

“Since when do you say things like therefore, and invalid?” 

“Seriously, Y/N. You know I have wanted to date you since we were in middle school, but something always came up. You know I love you. You know I always have.”

You turn back to him, trying to make eye contact, but something in you just can’t. Your timing was never right. Once you were old enough to date, the two of you were never single at the same time. Actually, that isn’t true. You were both single for a brief period of time while he was playing with the Sea Dogs and you were still at UVM. This was the first time that both of you were single and in the same town. 

“Charlie, you know that I love you, too. But this can not happen. We can’t risk breaking up and ruining what we have.” 

He exhales, obviously disappointed. You were, too, but you couldn’t let that show. You wanted nothing more than to be with him, but you couldn’t let all those years of friendship go away if things didn’t work out between the two of you. “Fine.”

once

“Remember when you wouldn’t date me?” he asks over the sound of everyone around you.

“Remember when you were less annoying?” you roll your eyes. You look around to see so many other couples and families filling in the tables around you. Everyone looked so happy, just like you were. 

You and Charlie had been together now for a year, him finally wearing you down and convincing you to let him take you on a date. He promised you that even if you stopped dating, your friendship would never end because, at this point, you were in too deep anyway. He told you he had this whole evening planned for your anniversary, complete with a walk around the Boston Common like you used to do when you were kids, dinner at Terramia, your favorite restaurant, and for dessert, he was taking you to Mike’s Pastries for the cannoli you loved so much. 

“No, never,” he smirks, reaching out across the table to take your hand.

You had to admit, all the things he had said trying to convince you to date him were right; nothing was really that different between the two of you besides the intimacy that wasn’t there before. “You’re never letting me live that down, are you?”

“No.” 

You roll your eyes at him. You didn’t want to inflate the ego of the man who didn’t even know how to use the oven by telling him he was right that you two dating was fine. 

“Hey,” he says, like that last night before he went off to college.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

You smile, thinking back to all those times you told each other those three words, them meaning something completely platonic. “I love you, too.” 

[galactic-academia]

I Need Somebody, Help

@korea-fashion-xx​ I’m sorry it took me so long, but here it is, I hope you will enjoy it and thanks for your request <3

Rating: G

Category: F/M

Fandom: Sherlock (BBC)

Relationship: Jim Moriarty/Female Reader

Tags: Fluff, Light Angst, Getting Together, Moriarty Is Cute, Sherlock Is A Good Bro.

Words: 1930

Summary: Previously on “Help”: “You were saying we’re not enemies anymore because your crazy sister forced me to be a monster.” “Exact. So, Y/N, Moriarty isn’t really the monster, you see? I have to help him.” “And how will you do that?” “With your help.” Y/N, at the behest of Sherlock, had reluctantly helped Moriarty to escape from Saint-Bart’ rooftop. Then, she had – still reluctantly – agreed to keep him company...

Notes: This is a sequel to “Help”, reading the summary above is enough to understand the story, but I hope reading the full sotry is more enjoyable by just a few lines about it... ;-) I’m not a native, please, forgive my mistakes. Picture is not mine. I hope you’ll enjoy it <3

Masterpost | Ask | Guidelines | Sherlock (BBC) masterlist | Because I need someone, Help Masterlist

Y/N was staring at the ceiling of her bedroom, lips pursed. She had fucked up and she knew it. She knew it very well now. That night, however…

When Y/N had agreed to help Moriarty escaping from Saint-Bart, she didn’t know what was waiting for her. She didn’t know she would have to babysit the former Sherlock’s Nemesis. But she had had to; before leaving for challenging the laws of gravity, the Detective had made Moriarty swear to not leave the house until he tells him to. How he was supposed to eat and to live decently without any money and without going out for grocery shopping hadn’t made part of the plan. Well, even geniuses couldn’t think about everything while put under big pressure, what can I say?

So Y/N had been forced to visit the former criminal-or-not at least twice a week to feed him and keep the man from going insane. At first, she had been the one threatening of going insane: she had a lot of other things to do than taking care of and illustrious and dangerous stranger! She had a job, she had friends, she had a guinea pig which she already had to take care of, thank you very much! But the more time passed, the more Y/N was starting to like the visits she paid to Jim. The man was funny, quite kind, very clever and always so happy to see her… Twice a week became every other day, Y/N was having tea with Jim, they talked about the news, about what facts around the world may or may not be Sherlock’s activity, about the movie BBC had aired earlier this week… Then every other day became every day, Jim started cooking for Y/N from time to time, inviting her to spend the evening with him, and Y/N started to bring DVD to Jim. They ended up watching them together, when they didn’t just make fun of the actors, their actor plays or the plot itself, and even the three at once. Y/N even showed some pictures of Hilary, her guinea pig, to Jim, no need to say he just fell in love with the little animal as soon as his eyes had been on it. It had been very difficult to believe Y/N once had had to take him out of a mortuary bag, two years ago…

And then, the big day was here. Y/N was used to receive messages from Jim several times a day, at random; she was currently cleaning Hilary’s cage when she heard her phone going crazy. She hastily but carefully put the guinea pig back in her nest before looking for what had made her phone hysterical.

Y/N! He just came! - JM

I’m free! - JM

Actually, no, I’m far from free, but I can go out without risking my life! - JM

You have to come over! - JM

I’m taking you out to the restaurant, it’s my threat! - JM

*treat, not threat…- JM

I hope you’re not driving. Oops. -JM

Y/N beamed to the screen; she was so relieved! Sherlock was alive and had come to free Jim, that meant he soon would be able to start a new life and that was wonderful. And he wanted to take her to the restaurant to celebrate! Yes, that would hardly be the first time Y/N would have a meal with Jim, but this time was special. This time was official. This time was in another context. And Y/N couldn’t help blushing madly while picturing the lovely genius in a tux instead of the worn jeans he had had to wear these past two years. But nobody had talked about a tux or a fancy restaurant. Nope.

But, after picking Jim up and arguing during almost half an hour because he wanted to drive – he knew the address and Y/N didn’t that’s it, it would be easier to just drive himself than indicating her the way! Give him these goddamn keys Y/N! – they indeed arrived at a fancy restaurant after agreeing to take a cab, so no one would drive. And… Oh, what a night! Jim just seemed to want to give Y/N the Full Monty; pulling and pushing her chair, classy wine, flowers, glowing smiles, light chattering, little touches to her hand now and there… Of course, he did pay the bill. Of course, Y/N did want to argue about that, but she had been warned, it was his treat. Of course, Jim asked to their second cab of the night to drop Y/N first and, of course, he went out of the cab – after paying the driver and starting another argument with Y/N about this – to wish her a good night. They kissed. At first, just a little peck on the lips because they were quite tipsy and a little high on happiness; then some more chaste little kisses because, well, why not? That was fun. That felt right. And, finally, losing their patience, good night kisses became a real make out session in front of Y/N’s door. Did it lead to something more? It could have, but, as for the rest of the evening, Jim had been a real gentleman and, after one (some) last kiss (kisses) he just left, wishing Y/N to make sweet dreams.

It had been a wonderful, gorgeous, absolutely perfect night. Then it had been a hell of a morning. Y/N was remembering everything. Every sweet word, every little smile, every light touch, every tiny peck and every heated kiss. And she recognized this feeling making her ribcage a little too tight, making her stomach fluttering each time she was thinking about him. This was love. F*ck… This couldn’t happen. Jim was a criminal, a damn charming and lovely one, but still a criminal! And his life would start to become a real mess now that Sherlock was back, even if he was willing to help Jim in every way he would be able to. It would be courts, maybe prison or evasion again and it already made Y/N ill; not because she wasn’t willing to follow and help him in every deep shit he would be involve, but because she knew he didn’t deserve this, even if he was a criminal. She didn’t know the murderer; she knew the man who was cooing over pictures of a guinea pig. He made big, bad mistakes, ok, but his information had allowed Sherlock to tear the biggest European criminal network down, that should count for something, right? Worse than all these ethical considerations, Y/N was afraid to lose Jim’s friendship. She was afraid of taking him away with unrequited feelings. After this perfect night, after the whole dining and wining thing, after the making out session. Women can be quite thick sometimes, believe me, I’m one.

Since Jim was free to, at least, go for his grocery shopping by himself without putting his life in danger while waiting for a penal hell to fall on him, Y/N decided she was not needed anymore: she stopped coming to Jim’s altogether. She was far too afraid of his potential reactions to last night. When he asked if Y/N was coming, she just answered that she couldn’t, sorry. A few days later, without any news about Y/N, Jim tried to phone her and, after having been dropped on his voice mail, sent a text asking if everything was alright. The answer came a few hours later: “Yes, thx”. Y/N never picked her phone up and stopped answering his texts after that. So much for not losing Jim’s friendship...

After a month of silence, this is how Y/N found herself staring at the ceiling og her bedroom, lips pursed and certain to have fucked everything up. She would have liked to be able to say she regretted that evening with Jim and the few kisses they have exchanged, it would have been far simpler, but she didn’t. She absolutely didn’t. What she regretted, on the other hand, was how she had handeled the situation afterwards. She should have gone to Jim’s and aksed him to talk about their relationship; maybe he would have asked Y/N out? He would; Y/N was sure he would. What had she done?

The doorbell made her emerge out of her regrets; Y/N dragged herself to the door and peek by the peephole. A very pissed off Sherlock was waiting on her mat.

“Open, please, Y/N, I know you’re here.”

Crap. She obeyed and, as soon as the door was open, Sherlock made a step to the side to reveal Jim, who was hiding behind him. Jim, who was handcuffed and freshly out of a police car which was waiting for him.

“Y/N! Give me a minute, please!”

“I... But... I...”

“I would let him talk, if I were you, I won’t be able to hold the policemen back for ver long” Sherlock said, before taking a few steps towards said policemen who already looked quite annoyed.

“Listen to me, please, Y/N...”

“Ok, yes, what...” Y/N was about to say what do you want but it seemed a very harsh thing to say to somebody who did nothing wrong... Well... In the context... “What can I do for you?”

Jim went from pleading to angry in a matter of seconds, it would have been scary if Y/N didn’t know better. He was hurt.

“What you can... Oh my GOD! You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what?! It did! I kissed you, on this very mat, in front of this very door. I don’t want to pretend it didn’t happen, ok? If you never want to see me again, it’s alright, I’ll go and you’ll never hear about me again, I swear, but, at least, I’ll be able to remember these kisses. What do you want? Do you want me to disappear?”

“I... No! I didn’t - I didn’t want to destroy our friendship...”

“Our friendship? Our friendship?! We’re not just friends and you f*cking know it!”

“What?!”

“I don’t want to be your friend! For Gad sake, Y/N, I love you!”

“I’m really sorry to interrupt, guys, but you need to worry...” Sherlock was, indeed, starting to run out of ideas to entertain the cops. The fact that Y/N was looking at Jim cross eyed and mouth open didn’t help the matter at all.

“Y/N... As you can see, I’m quite on a rush right now”, to underline the urgency, he made the chain of his handcuff jiggle, “so hum... I have to make it cheesy and to the point: will you go on a real date with me when all this mess will be over? Will you be my girlfriend?”

Y/N was astounded, but she had understood the main theme: date, girlfriend, cheesy and to the point. So, as an answer, she kissed Jim, deeply. When she pulled apart to breath, he smiled soflty at her “That must mean yes.”

If you would have said to Sherlock that, one day, he would promise to Moriarty’s girlfriend that he would bring him back to her as soon as possible, he wouldn’t have believed it. But that’s what he did, not only he did promise, but he also delivered said promise. Don’t worry about Y/N and Jim Moriarty, they have all the help they might need.

***

Thanks for reading <3

[amazingorangedangantrash]

The only ending everyone seems to ignore is v3 because it’s just... it’s just a mess.

How do feel about this game survivors? And do you think that everyone woke up from the simulator or tv show like sdr2 or only the survivors?

Hoo boy...

Honestly nonny, having only finished the dang thing yesterday I... don't know.

(I kinda went off into a spiel, so feel free to skip to the part where I talk about survivors and what I think happens next)

I understand the mixed response a LOT. I mean- I see what they were going for. The 4th wall break was cool, and the (sorta?) reappearance of past characters was pretty damn awesome. I like that the creators are definitely self aware- and there's a kind of 'learn to laugh at yourself' sort of thing.

On the other hand it can almost seem a little too mocking?

I get the whole yaknow. 'Fictional characters are aware they're fictional and rebel against their creators' thing but- like-?

As I mentioned before, thing is, Tsumugi is not us? We aren't exactly intentionally cruel? There's a BIG difference between the kind of fiction in our world and in their world.

What does Tsumugi call it? "Real fiction"?. Yeah- thing is- we don't have that. We don't have the technology for it, and I certainly hope we wouldn't abandon ethics for it either!!! We can't have 'real' fiction, because in our world, all fiction is fake! The closest you have is fiction about real people, perhaps, but- that's not even remotely the same thing?

So it does come across as a little... um- preachy.

We're supposed to represent the audience but... like- the audience fucking suck! What was that they said during the argument armament? "This guy should have died instead of Kaede!" Like- fucking hell. Imagine saying that to someone, who can HEAR you say it, and who's MURDER you could potentially watch unfold before your very eyes as a result of YOUR actions. I mean- look how empathetic some of us are to ACTUAL fictional characters. Could you imagine if we were in a similar situation to the outside world in V3???

Maybe it's because I keep imagining the v3 cast as like- sentient AI, instead of "just fiction". Because I can't imagine anyone being so sadistic or apathetic otherwise.

So uh- yeah. I don't... know how I feel about that. It's not- very satisfying?

With sdr2, the whole "none of this is real, the killing game is all a lie, you're in a fake world!" felt like a relief ! Whereas here it's more like- "what?? It's all fake? What the hell was the point then?!"

"Nothing matters!" vs "nothing matters..."

The whole HOPE VS DESPAIR, FUTURE VS PAST thing worked, because, well, it's something we can all understand. We have all felt hope and we have all felt despair. We've all, at some point in our lives, felt stuck in the past, unable to or scared to move on.

(Hey- some of us still feel like that now, even).

The first game was very simple- hope and despair. Still relatable, but fairly basic- effective to set up the foundation for the follow up.

The second game made things a little more complicated. Sometimes it's more complicated then just- choosing between Hope and Despair. We refuse to fall into Despair, but we can't just blindly have Hope.

So we choose the Future. We can't promise it'll be a good one OR a bad one. But whatever happens- we need to move on. The only way we can make things change is by making that choice, to create our OWN future.

V3 felt very... complex. It started to get kind of... uh... philosophical? And- don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with that. It just... it kind of shifted from TRUTH VS LIE to FICTION VS REALITY. And whilst the latter definitely sounds interesting- I don't really know if I liked the direction they took with it-? I wish they'd kept the focus on TRUTH VS LIE a lot more.

(Fiction and Reality are like extensions of Lie and Truth but- only to a certain extent? Really?)

It's kind of harder to get into the final fight in V3 because... what are you fighting? The outside world? I mean- I can't speak for the rest of you, but as far as I'm aware I'm not a fictional character.

(If I am- then wow someone's a reallly bad writer huh?)

I can relate to Hope. I can relate to Future.

I can't relate to Fiction.

I THOUGHT maybe the message was a warning of the dangers of escapism ('please dont go as far as to erase your own personality just to be a part of a type of fiction you like' definitely seems fitting for this fandom)- but the message "fiction has the power to change the world!" kinda contradicts that. I mean- I do like that message, but- I don't like the idea of a series about killing games being heavily influential-!

The whole problem was that people grew so obsessed with the series that they threw away their lives! Is that not the point you should be focusing on-!!!!

The outside world in this universe fucking sucks. So they changed their mind, big DEAL! that's not comforting knowing they let this shit continue for 53 seasons-! I mean, maybe Makoto and Hajime were all 100% fictional, but at some point they started putting real people into these games, and everyone was ok with that!

I just-

I'm glad Shuichi got through to them at last but...

Someone said something which resonated with me- "in a vacuum, this is good". Like... on it's own, I thought the ending was great! It was entertaining, for sure. And the whole concept and stuff was unexpected and interesting. You gotta give em points for originality.

The problem comes with it being the 3rd game in a series. (Ignoring UDG I mean-). When a series becomes a Trilogy, you gotta make it good. This is presumably the last game in the (main) series too. And- after the UTTER NARRATIVE DISAPPOINTMENT of dr3- can you blame people for wanting more? People fell in love for THH and SDR2 (and UDG even if its not part of the main series) for a reason- and, for me at least, a biiiig part of that reason was the continued storyline. The last chapter of sdr2 was the hypest shit EVER. when you see glimpses of the previous game bleed into this one, only for it to turn into what's like- a full crossover???? The previous game isn't just mentioned, it's a straight up sequel!!!! I had absolutely no idea Makoto and co would return (i thought the games were separate) so when i saw that they'd be interacting with the new cast- yoooooooooooooooo-!

Hell, even seeing alter ego again made me go WILD.

V3 plays upon these expectations, and subverts them, but... not necessarily in a good way? You- kind of feel cheated? (Idk if you're an avengers fan, but- it's like expecting *Endgame* and instead getting...

Well- Endgame).

The ending isn't bad persay it's just- not quite what one would expect? I can definitely understand why people are disappointed. The problem is, instead of standing alone, you can't help but consider it as part of the series. Individually, I don't think the ending was that weak or bad, but in comparison to the series as a whole?

Meh.

SURVIVORS

(Oh my- I really got off track, oh dear. I'll- get back to what you asked now.)

KEEBO

W H Y

They rllly gonna rub salt in the wound huh?

(Whilst i dont dislike the other survivors, there are a LOT of people i really really wanted to see make it to the end, and it's just the final god damn nail in the coffin to kill off the last of the few characters I came even close to liking the most-)

Killing keebo was dumb

Maki- I liked Maki quite a bit! She's a bit cold, yeah, but I warmed up to her after hearing her backstory.

I found it annoying (if understandable) that no one trusted her at first. I thought it was sweet that her, Kaito and Shuichi had this friendship trio. They really trusted each other- it was very refreshing. I also love me a strong girl. Her romance thing with Kaito was a little... forced. I'd have found it more meaningful if they kept it more subtle/ambiguous (though i suppose they needed smth to use against her in the final trial sooo-).

Himiko-

I-

*sigh*

Ok I'm going to say this once, and once only.

Someoneonthedrteamhasabigthingforlolis

OK! I SAID IT- AND IM NEVER SAYING IT AGAIN

No judgement here of course. Just. Uh. Y-yeah-

(I'm mainly kidding of course, idek if Himiko counts as a loli but-)

I mean... I'm not... the fondest of very small, childish girl characters (Saionji intensifies). I like a bit of childishness in a character but- i mean- it depends.

(I'll never recover from the "seductive whisper" thing from the love suite event

Never.

Never ever.)

Himiko comes across as like An Actual Child at times and at the start it was VERY annoying. Surprisingly, I warmed up to her eventually. I knew in advance she'd be a survivor so i kinda thought "well she's gonna stick around so might as well try to like her". I do appreciate that she underwent a character arc too, and it was sweet to see how she became a more active, determined person. I wish it hadn't taken Tenko's death for her to finally start changing but whatever. She is quite a cute character and after a while became more endearing then annoying.... (for the most part).

Was she in my top 3 picks for a survivor? No.

The top 10 even?

N-no-

I'm glad she's still alive though. SOMEONE damn well needs to be.

Tsumugi- ah. She's not a survivor, is she? I knew well in advance she was the mastermind so I didn't really warm up to her all that much during the final chapters, for obvious reasons.

Shuichi- if shuichi hadn't survived I think that would have been the breaking point for me, honestly.

Overall- uh... they aren't... the ideal picks. Shuichi is the only one I really wanted to see survive, I was neutral towards the others. Tbh I was just happy anyone was alive by the end of that.

Waking up- for the sake of my sanity, I like to think that after the survivors wake up, they threaten to sue and/or maim the shit out of the dr team if they don't start on reanimating their 'dead' friends right fucking now. Surely they gotta keep their consciousness' somewhere in those memories banks right? I mean- what if they ever wanted a "surprise return from the dead" plotline? Surely they gotta keep em somewhere? Right?

Whether or not they reawaken as their in-game or pre-game selves, who knows. Whichever you prefer, I guess. Maybe a mixture of both.

[three-drink-amy]

All the Shine of a Thousand Spotlights

Thanks so much for the support of this fic! It made me happy to know so many of you wanted it to continue. I hope you enjoy what’s to come! 

masterlist - AO3

Chapter Three - Take a Chance, Take a Chance, Chance

I knew what I needed to do, I was just dragging my feet. The only person who could probably convince Jamie to take this role was me. But I was also a bit worried that I was the last person he wanted to see. The last time we’d spoken, he seemed angry that I was trying to talk to him. I could understand the position he was in, and likely why he was about to turn down the role. But he couldn’t do that. I couldn’t let him. 

I had to act quickly. It wasn’t like we had forever. Production would need to begin eventually and we needed to have our lead. Marilyn and John were going through the list of other actors who had auditioned, but we all knew we didn’t want them. We wanted Jamie. I wanted Jamie. John was never wrong with his instincts, but I hoped that when I talked to Jamie alone, he’d tell me that he was taking the part. 

Swallowing harshly, I looked up at the building in front of me. Taking all the courage I had, I ran forward to catch the door as a delivery man left. I followed the familiar path to his door. It was painfully obvious to me how different my situation was now than it was the last time I was here. Shaking my head, I tried to dispel the images of him pushing me against the wall and kissing me senseless in the very stairwell I was climbing. Before I got too caught up in memories, I made myself keep walking. There was a reason I was here, after all, and it wasn’t to vividly remember night we’d spent together. I did that enough on my own. 

I must have stood in front of his door for a full minute before I finally knocked. My heart hammered away in my chest as I waited for him to answer. One of his neighbors walked past me. I bounced on the balls of my feet, willing him to be home. The sound of footsteps on the other side of the door almost made me lean closer to make sure I wasn’t imagining it. 

The door swung open and he stood before me. I flashed him a strained smile. His eyes widened in shock as he stared back at me. “Claire,” he said, “what the hell are ye doing here?” 

“I needed to talk to you.” 

He schooled his face, not letting his emotions show anymore. “What about?” 

“You can’t turn down this role, Jamie,” I told him, not wanting to beat around the bush. 

Jamie sighed, running a hand down his face. “Seriously? That’s why ye came by here?” 

“Yes! Look, we saw plenty of men for this role and I promise you that you are the only man we wanted,” I told him. I was being more open than I ever had been with an actor before. “Jamie, you are perfect for this role. And not just because you were the only person who actually sounded Scottish. You have to take it!” 

“No, I dinna have to do anything.” 

I groaned. “You auditioned for it. Why do you suddenly want to turn it down?” 

“Because of you,” he answered in no uncertain terms. 

I recoiled a bit, taking a step back. My arms crossed in front of me defensively. “Because of me?” I could hear how small my voice sounded and I hated it. This wasn’t me. I never groveled or begged people to do anything. He was bringing out a terrible side of me. 

He at least had the decency to look a bit guilty for what he said. “Aye. I’m sorry, but I canna take it. I didn’t want to turn it down immediately. I suppose I wanted to be able to change my mind, but I canna. I canna take the role.” 

“Can you tell me why?” I asked. “Other than because of me.” 

Jamie’s face fell. “Ye have to know how much I actually want the role -”

“Then, take it!” I cried. 

“I canna. I’ll no’ let anyone accuse me of sleeping my way to a role.” And there it was. My mouth fell open at his statement. “I may no’ have much of a career, but I do have dignity.” 

“It’s not like anyone even knows,” I reminded him. “Besides, you didn’t even know who I was. You weren’t doing that.” 

“No, I wasna. But if anyone knew the truth, all they’d be able to see is that I slept wi’ ye one night, auditioned for yer play the next day, and then was given the role,” Jamie pointed out. “I want the role, but no’ that badly.” 

“No one knows,” I repeated. I was getting desperate.

“I’ll no’ risk it,” he maintained. His eyes dropped from mine. “I appreciate that ye thought I was good enough. But I can’t.” 

“Please think about it,” I urged. “This could be the role of a lifetime.” 

“Well, then congratulations to yer second choice,” Jamie said, effectively taking the argument out of me. “Goodbye, Claire.” 

I sputtered, trying to get one last word in, but the door shut in my face. My hands laid over my face as I tried to fight off my anger and disappointment. The worst part about it all was that he didn’t mince words. It was clearer than ever that his reason to not take it was me. Even more than wanting to have the perfect cast, I wanted to defend myself and tell him all the reasons he was wrong. 

Except that, ultimately, I respected his decision. As I descended the stairs, feeling low, I understood why he stood his ground. I’d known a good amount of actors in my life, and I’m not sure that any of them would have the integrity to actually turn it down. And that’s not even addressing the ones that would have truly slept with the director to get the part. 

I wanted a win, but I wasn’t getting it. More than that, I wanted to change the way he looked at me. I’d seen plenty of different gazes from him the night we’d spent together. But now, it was nothing but a cold shadow in comparison. 

My office was dark, save a low lamp in the corner. I was wallowing in the misery of my failed attempt. John and Marilyn hadn’t the faintest idea that I was even going to try to sway him. That was probably for the best, since I’d failed. Elbows propped on the desk, my head was in my hands as I tried to figure out my next step. John walked in without knocking. He sat down on the couch in my office. Both of us looked a bit off. 

“What’s up with you?” I asked. 

He shrugged. “Nothing. We’re just getting close to production.” 

“I’m aware.” 

“I got a few more confirmations today,” he told me. 

“But not the one you’re wanting.” 

“It’s the lead role,” John sighed. “If we fuck that up, our play is dead on opening night.” 

“I know.” 

“And the thing that makes me the maddest is that we didn’t do anything wrong!” John continued. 

That you know of, I thought to myself. 

“What do you think we can do?” he asked. “We all agreed that he’s the best. Surely the three of us can figure out a way to convince him. We’re all experienced.” 

I nodded, trying to think of some comfort to offer John. I was coming up dry. “Look, we’re casting minor roles next week. By the end of next week, we have to have our cast list set. We’ll give him til then and hopefully he’ll come around.” 

John laid his head back against the couch. “Okay. I guess that’s all we can do. But after that, we’ll have to act fast.” 

“We will, if necessary,” I promised him. 

But as John walked from my office, I hoped it wouldn’t be necessary. I was in full brainstorming mode the rest of the day and my entire evening at home. It was a lot harder to come up with ideas when I knew what the problem actually was. How could I solve it, short of traveling back in time and not sleeping with him? But then again, I wasn’t sure I would really want to do that, even for the sake of the show. 

For the next few days, I sat through auditions, trying to be as present as possible. This show was supposed to be my passion project but I was failing. Somehow, my thoughts were only ever on Jamie. What did he think of me? Would I ever see him again? What were the chances he’d change his mind and accept? Had he actually liked me before my true identity had been revealed? Could something more have happened if he’d never auditioned for my show? 

The ridiculous amount of “what ifs” and “how comes” kept me incredibly distracted at a time when I needed to be focused. I’d gone out the night I met him because I’d needed a break. But now, I needed one again for a very different reason. I knew first hand how much dedication the role of director took. And that was how I knew I was blowing it spectacularly. 

All I wanted to be able to do was figure out a way to convince Jamie to take the role. Perhaps that would put a smile on my face. I figured it would definitely put a smile on John’s face. I was at a loss, though. 

It took me two more days of spending all my time up in my head before I finally realized that the answer was in front of me all along. 

I poured myself a stiff glass of whisky and sat down on my couch. Glancing over at the clock, I wanted to make sure it wasn’t too late. I took a sip to give myself some courage, and then I dialed his number. 

The line rang twice before he answered. “Hello?” he answered. 

“Jamie, it’s Claire.” 

He was silent for a long moment. “How did ye get this number? I dinna recall giving it to ye. Or ye asking me for it, for that matter.” For the first time, I wondered if he was bitter about more than the situation with the play. It had been a mere accident that I’d run out without giving him my number or getting his. As I’d left his apartment that morning, I was more than open to seeing him again. I wondered if he’d ever believe that with everything else that had happened. 

“It might not be the most ethical thing, but I pulled it off your audition form,” I informed him. “We need to talk.” 

Jamie sighed. “No, we dinna.” 

“Yes, we do. Jamie, this role is yours. You are perfect for it and I meant what I said when I told you it could be the role of a lifetime.” 

“I already told ye no once.” 

“You haven’t turned it down though,” I retorted. “Why is that?” 

He took a deep breath. “Because I ken exactly how big a role this is and it’s killing me to turn it down.” 

“Then don’t.” 

“Claire —” 

“I have a new offer for you.” I talked over him. 

“Oh?” 

I took another sip, needing more liquid courage. “If you take the role…” I trailed off, afraid to actually make my offer. “If you take the role, I will step down as director.” 

“I’m sorry, what?” 

“I’ll step down if you take the role. That way, no one will be able to accuse you of sleeping with the director, because you wouldn’t have.” I tilted my head, thinking. “Well, theoretically. I don’t know your whole history.” 

Jamie was silent again. It was frying my nerves. “Why would ye do this?” His voice was softer than all our interactions since the truth came out. It gave me hope.

“I remembered what you told me the night we met,” I said, my voice growing softer, too. “You said you often led your family to believe that you were more successful than you were. Jamie, this could truly be your big break and you deserve to have it. You have more bloody dignity and self-preservation than most people I know. It’s time for the world to see how great you are. But that can’t happen if you turn down the role.” I stopped to take a breath. “I heard you loud and clear. Your problem wasn’t with the role, but with me. So, if I’m out of the picture, it’s perfect. And this show needs you.” 

“What about ye?” 

“Not to sound too much like a braggart, but if I step down as director, I’m fairly certain I could find another show rather quickly,” I told him. 

I could hear him breathing on the other end. “Claire, this is —”

“Just think it over,” I advised. “You have until Friday to make a decision. We have to have our cast list finalized by then.” 

“Alright,” he agreed. 

“Okay. Well, one way or the other, I’ll talk to you soon.” I said goodbye and ended the call. The idea of calling him and making such an offer had seemed like the hardest part. But I was wrong. 

Waiting was going to be the hardest part. 

Next chapter

[sailorportia]

Femslash February 2020, Day 4

Fandom: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power Pairing: Glimmer/Catra Prompt: Punk/Pastel

approx. 2,100 words, rated T

also available on AO3

Summary:  Catra and Glimmer are forced to work together on a group assignment, and it's almost a competition to see who's more annoyed by this arrangement.

Tags: University AU, Swearing, Alcohol, Drunken Kissing

Catra was holding court in her corner of the student union building's cafeteria. "I can't believe Professor Prime stuck me with Sparkles for a group project!" She slammed her fist on the table, rattling everyone's lunch trays. "Anyone else would've been better than Sparkles!"

"I'm confused," Entrapta said, picking up tiny sandwiches from her lunchbox. "Who's Sparkles? Oh, do we have a new friend!?"

"Oh, um, that's what she calls Glimmer," Scorpia said. "Because, well, y'know," she leaned in and whispered, "Catra doesn't like her very much."

"Oooooooh!"

Catra ignored the exchange, lost in her own petty misery. "That girl is the worst. Total control freak. She never shuts up in class, always arguing with the profs and making everything a debate. She's not even that smart. I bet she only got in because her mother's got tenure." Her hatred toward Glimmer in no way stemmed from the fact that princess was now closer to Adora than Catra was. They were even roommates now. Not that it bothered Catra at all.

"Um, just out curiosity," Scorpia said, "this might not be important, but have you ever really talked to her? Like, other than insulting each other?"

Catra gave her a blank look. "Why would I need to do that? I don't need to learn her favourite colour to know I hate her." Knowing Sparkles, it was probably pink. Or worse, hot pink.

Entrapta frowned. "That's not a very scientific approach."

"I'm a political science major. Everyone knows that's a fake science."

"Okay," Scorpia said. "But she's one of Adora's friends. Isn't that enough reason to try to get along with her?"

"I don't want to get along with Adora's friends." Catra uttered the words as if they were a rule. If Scorpia and Entrapta had been feeling sassy, they could've pointed out that Catra was also one of Adora's friends, and that would explain why she didn't get along with herself.

"I'm just saying," Scorpia said with a shrug. "Maybe if you give her a chance, you'll find something you like about her. Or, uh, something you don't hate at least. Who knows? You might have more in common than you think."

"As if!" Catra and Glimmer couldn't have been less alike. First off, their appearances were complete opposites. Catra's punk style had attitude, conveyed through dark colours, unruly hair, spiked accessories, the patches on her jacket and other modifications to her clothing, such as stylish, strategically placed holes she tore with her own claws. Glimmer, in contrast, was a pastel disaster whose brightly-coloured outfits hurt to look at. Her hair was literally pink, like she was made of bubblegum or something. Secondly, Glimmer was a sanctimonious goody two-shoes, whereas Catra just didn't give a fuck. No way in hell were they going to get along.

"Well, you better figure out how you're going to talk to Glimmer," Entrapta said, "because she's headed this way."

A group of three approached their table: Adora and Bow, led by a pissed off Glimmer. Catra might have found it intimidating if she weren't wearing the softest possible shade of lavender. Her new haircut was something of an improvement. She was almost hot—but Catra wasn't into bossy girls.

"Hey, Catra," Adora said nervously as the group reached the table.

Glimmer cut Catra off before she could say her customary greeting. "If you screw up this assignment for me, I'm going ruin you."

Bow grimaced. "Glimmer! We literally just went over this!"

"You could at least pretend to be nice," Adora said.

"Why do I have to be nice?" Glimmer pointed at Catra accusingly. "If you heard the way she talks in class you'd get it. She's a war criminal waiting to happen."

Catra snorted. "Says the girl who's a shill for the monarchy."

Bow stepped between them. "Guys, guys, cool it. We don't want another fist fight on our hands."

"It was one time!" Glimmer protested. "And it was hardly my fault. Nyan Cat over here was being a belligerent drunk."

"Don't blame me for that incident," Catra said. "You threw the first punch after like six Shirley Temples."

"Who wouldn't punch you when you're so obnoxious?" Glimmer let out an agonized groan. "Just get your ass to me and Adora's dorm room tonight by six o'clock, or I'll come looking for you."

"Whatever." Catra stuck her tongue out as Glimmer stalked off, her friends running off after her. She didn't need any more proof that the two of them were incompatible at every level. Maybe she'd fail this assignment on purpose just to piss her off.

Glimmer was already regretting her decision to work on the group project in her dorm room. Her reasoning had been that she didn't want to be seen in public with Catra, but she hadn't anticipated how much having Catra in her living space made her skin crawl.

They were sitting on Glimmer's side of the room. Catra had attempted to make herself at home on Adora's bed, but Glimmer put that to a stop immediately.

"You don't shed, do you?" Glimmer asked, eyeing Catra's wild mane of fur. "I don't want to be picking your hairs off my clothes for the next month."

"That's an anti-cat microaggression," Catra said. "Not very politically correct of you. Besides, it can't be as bad as all the glitter you leave behind, Sparkles."

"That's not my name! And I do not wear that much glitter." Sure, Glimmer preferred sparkly eye shadow some days, and some of her clothes did have glittery details on them, but glitter wasn't her thing. "You're in no place to criticize how I look." She sneered at Catra's outfit, specifically the tears in her pants. "Nice jeans, were they 50% off?"

"Haha. Very funny. I'm sure you bought your clothes at 200% the price just to show off how bougie you are."

"Listen you—" Glimmer groaned through her teeth. She knew Catra was just trying to get under her skin. All she had to do was be the bigger person and let this go. "The sooner we start this assignment, the sooner we'll be done and out of each other's hair."

"Finally something we can agree on," Catra said. "What's the topic again?"

"We're supposed to pick one from this list." Glimmer retrieved the relevant paper from her desk and read them off. "There's one about arguments for and against raising the minimum wage."

"Eh? That sounds dangerously like math. Economics sucks."

"Fair. Next is one about the role of money in politics."

"Still too much math."

"Suggestions for electoral reform?

Catra laughed. "Maybe get rid of elections altogether? Then everyone's equally unhappy with the result."

Glimmer could've sworn she had some patience, but it was running out faster than she'd anticipated. "There's one about the ethics of torture."

"That one's easy. Whatever gets the job done is fine with me."

Never mind writing an assignment together, they were never going to find a topic they could agree on due to Catra having the moral centre of a Saturday morning cartoon villain. "Torture doesn't even work! The premise is flawed."

"Really? It's working on me right now."

Glimmer groaned. "Is this a joke to you? This assignment is for 10% of our mark! You might not care about your own future, but I do."

Catra smirked. "What's wrong? Afraid that Professor Mommy will be disappointed if her little princess flunks a class?"

"You don't have any idea what it's like studying at a college where your mother is one of the professors. Having to measure up to those expectations all the time."

"Hey, at least people expect something from you. You can't imagine what it's like to grow up in Adora's perfect shadow."

"Yeah, well now she's my perfect roommate, and I'm going to lose it if I have to hear one more time that Adora got on the dean's list last year and I didn't."

"Oh yeah? Well I would've gotten on the list too if I didn't have to deal with Professor Hordak's inferiority complex."

The conversation carried on way longer than it should've. It turned out the only way they could avoid bitching at each other was by bitching to each other instead. Before long they ordered a pizza and cracked open a couple of cold ones, the assignment lying forgotten on Glimmer's desk.

By the time they ran out of things to complain about, they were both a little beyond tipsy. They had moved to sitting on Glimmer's bed, leaning against each other. Glimmer was very aware of the fact that she had never been this close to Catra before, physically or emotionally. Not wanting to linger on those thoughts, she said the first thing that came to mind.

"Hey, is it true that you wore a tux to your high school prom?"

Catra smirked. She put her empty beer can down and got out her phone. "Feast your eyes."

Feast, Glimmer did. She was tempted to ask Catra to send her the pictures. "Daaaaaaaaaaamn," Glimmer said. "Adora's so lucky. I went to mine with Bow as a friend-date, but she got to dance with the hottest girl at the prom."

If they were any farther apart, she wouldn't have picked up on the other girl's reaction: a low, rumbling sound in her chest.

"Oh my god." Glimmer couldn't believe her ears. "Are you purring?"

"No!" Catra stuffed her phone back in her pocket and crossed her arms over her chest, as if that would cover up the sound she'd already made. "You're imagining things. All that glitter must've gone to your head."

"Oh, looks like someone isn't used to hearing people say nice things about her." This was too good. "So that's how I get under your skin."

Catra's face looked like it couldn't decide if she were furious or embarrassed. "Screw off, Sparkles."

"Aw, you can dish it out but you can't take it? That's so cute." Glimmer honestly didn't know why she was winding Catra up. Maybe she wanted to see what would happen when she finally sprung.

Catra stood up, but didn't step away from the bed. "Isn't Adora going to be coming back soon? I should probably go..."

Glimmer grabbed Catra's arm and pulled her back down. "We've talked enough about Adora. Let's talk about you."

"I don't want to talk," Catra said. "I don't want Adora to walk in and see me getting along with you!"

"You care too much about what Adora thinks. Are you that hung up on your old prom date?"

"I am not! Screw you! I'm always getting the girls. I don't need to chase after Adora. I've got pull!"

Glimmer smirked. "I'll believe it when I see it."

Catra had hit her limit. The cat finally pounced. "You asked for it."

In one swift motion, Catra pushed Glimmer down and pinned her to the bed. There was a moment's pause before their lips crashed together.

Oh my god, Glimmer thought as she tasted the alcohol on Catra's breath, is Catra kissing me? Am I kissing her back? Even being tipsy wasn't enough to excuse this. But Glimmer didn't really care. She needed to blow off steam, and making out with a bitchy catgirl serviced that need.

The kissing kept getting messier and messier, which was a nice analogue to their interpersonal relationship. Glimmer vaguely acknowledged that she'd never live it down if anyone found out about this, but it wasn't like Catra was going to brag about it either. They were in the clear—

"Oh my god. I didn't expect you guys to get along this well."

Glimmer and Catra sobered up instantly. They broke apart, Catra springing away as if she'd suffered an electric shock. In absolute horror they turned in unison to see Adora standing in the doorway, barely containing her amusement.

"This isn't what it looks like!" Glimmer said.

"It's actually exactly what it looks like," Catra said. "Kill me."

Adora laughed so hard she snorted. "Looks like you guys had a party," she said, looking at the empty pizza box and beer cans. "You guys must've finished up that assignment pretty quickly." She raised an eyebrow at the sight of the pair's blank looks. "You did work on the assignment, right?"

As if a switch had been thrown, Glimmer and Catra were back at each other's throats as if nothing had happened. "This is all your fault!"

[howtolistentomusic]

There's a radio sitting atop a pile of boxes. I grab it and hand it over to Carlos. He sets the device on the edge of the container and pushes the power button. We're greeted with a burst of static. He fiddles with the tuner until he stumbles upon "Wicked" by Future. 

"Aw yeah!" he says as he turns the volume way up. "Some real music! Anthony, take notes!"

"I'm insulted by the implication that I don't listen to hip-hop."

"You bump 2Pac between Justin Bieber songs?" David says.

"Hell yeah I do!"

"Guacha!" David says. 

Pronounced as if a stressed "ah" sound is added at the end of the English word watch, guacha is a Spanish verb for "look." Informally, though, it means something more like I approve! It's typically complimentary though it often carries a connotation of surprise that can come off as condescending. Against all odds, David basically said to me, I'm impressed. Welcome to the big boys club.

"2Pac is the greatest rapper of all time," Carlos says.

"Well, I don't know about that."

Don't get me wrong. I genuinely do like 2Pac. I grew up in Southern California, after all. But the GOAT? There's no way. He's a compelling figure for many reasons but too many others can rap circles around him.

"Listen to All Eyez On Me," Carlos says.

"Illmatic is better."

"What the fuck is that?"

It's the classic and hugely influential debut album by Nas, in case you're rooming with Carlos and Patrick Star.

"Life's a bitch and then you die!" Ruben sings.

"That's why we get high! 'Cause you never know when you're gonna go!"

"Damn, Ant!" David says. "Who would have thought?" 

It's unclear whether he recognizes "Life's a Bitch", Illmatic's track three stunner, or if he's simply surprised that I made a weed reference. 

"What else are you bumping?" David asks.

"Wu-Tang. Souls of Mischief. Big L—"

"The Based God?" Carlos says. "He fucking sucks!"

"That's Lil B, dumbass."

Dude doesn't know Big L from Lil B and he's never heard Illmatic. And yet here he is, trying to lecture me about hip-hop. Get the fuck out of here.

"Whatever. You're fucking old," Carlos says.

Touché. But I'm trying to keep up. I'm certainly on the Playboi Carti and Lil Uzi Vert bandwagons. "wokeuplikethis*" and "XO Tour Lif3" are great. I have a hard time understanding the appeal of Migos though.

Carlos grabs some bags from the edge of the container. When he turns to dump them into the proper gaylords, I glance at the radio. It's beckoning like a glowing pickup in a video game. I can't resist. Being cool is overrated anyways.

I tune to Live 105.5. "Good For You" by Selena Gomez is playing. 

"Hell yes!" I say.

My coworkers laugh.

"Of course you would listen to this bullshit!" Carlos says.

Bullshit? Ok, I get it. So it's totally cool to want to fuck Selena Gomez. It's totally cool to mime and graphically detail the sexual acts you'd perform on her if given the chance, as a few of the guys did a while back when a Spring Breakers DVD came through the warehouse. Respecting the art she creates, though? Nah. Too much.

"Wanna show you how proud I am to be yours," I sing. "Leave this dress a mess on the floor!"

Two yeas ago one of my favorite music writers, Katherine St. Asaph, wrote some brilliant work inspired by "Good for You". Her Singles Jukebox blurb, in which she rates the song a 9 out of 10, is a masterpiece. And in a review of Revival for Time Magazine, she vividly wrote that the song "makes looking good for her man sound like searing a part of herself dead." Despite such a convincing case for the song's merits, however, I can't bring myself to like "Good For You" all that much. It's boring and rote and I totally prefer "Hands to Myself". In a place like this, though, I'll fucking take it. After all, remaining myself while simultaneously playing "dude" well enough to avoid ostracization by my coworkers is a balance I struggle with every time I step foot into this warehouse, so it feels really good to fill the room with a piece of my world for once while these fuckers are forced to deal with it.

"I just wanna look good for ya, good for ya," I sing. "Uh huh."

"Alright," Carlos says as the song winds down. "It's over." 

He tunes the radio back to hip-hop just as Anna screams "Break!"

"Fuck," Carlos says as he turns off the device. ***

As usual, I beat the entire crew back to the dock. I hop into the container, turn on the radio and adjust the station.

"Reck a less bee hayve YA ah!" the radio pronounces.

Zayn Malick! Totally over One Direction, rhyming.

"Turn that shit up!" Donald says as the guys finally find their way back to roll-off. "This is my jam!"

"Let's start a boy band, Donald!" I say.

"I'm down!" 

David laughs. Carlos shakes his head.

"I'm seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure," Donald sings. He's not kidding; he genuinely seems to like this song. "Nobody but you, 'body but me, 'body but us, bodies together!"

While I'm thrilled to have a temporary companion in poptimism, I must point out that this song sucks. I wish I could play "Little Black Dress" instead. I wonder what the guys would think of that particular track, which pits a traditional dude's reverence for classic rock against his hatred of boy bands.

"That's your last one," Carlos says as "Pillowtalk" gives way to a commercial. 

He tunes back to the hip-hop station. "Hold On, We're Going Home" is playing and I have to stifle a laugh. Be careful what you wish for, I think to myself.

Carlos can't stand Drake. He's told me as much. He's a fucking pussy were his exact words. Of course, he'd be loath to admit that now, when control of the radio is at stake. I decide to stoke the fire.

"'Cause you're a good girl and you know it!'" I sing.

"Why do you like literally the worst shit?" Carlos says.

"I can change the station if you prefer," I say as I reach for the radio.

"Leave it!" he says.

"Yes, daddy!"

As soon as he turns his back, I tune back to pop. Mass groaning ensues as Shawn Mendes goes on about stitches. Carlos, however, is silent. He's standing still as a statue, staring me down.

***

If the warehouse gave out game balls at the end of each shift, Carlos would have more than the rest of roll-off combined. This is despite the fact that the dude is hardly physically intimidating. Indeed, the contrast between his tough guy persona and his tiny 5"2' frame is a gift that keeps on giving. One time, in an exercise designed to lighten the mood after a slog of a safety meeting, management made the entire staff of the warehouse line up on the floor of the line, single-file, tallest on the right and shortest on the left. There were approximately 30 people in the building and only a single woman was standing to the left of Carlos. It took the roll-off team hours to get all the laughter out of our system.

Carlos isn't particularly funny or clever either. While his insults come fast and furiously, they tend to be the predictable nonsense you would expect from someone that still considers "gay" a burn in the year of our Lord 2017. It's the same sort of mockery I've been dealing with my whole life. The words themselves don't really bother me.

But Carlos will wear you down through sheer attrition. His short fuse, gangbanger ethics and the fact that he values his pride over his job give him a willingness to escalate that's difficult to compete with. I once witnessed him empty an entire can of shaving cream onto the face of poor old man Kenneth. He also once swung a bag of hard toys, with all his might, at Donald after the two got into a heated argument. Then there was the time he was in a bad mood and discreetly coated some furniture with that aerosol "snow" stuff—the kind that people use on their windows as a Christmas decoration—in the hopes that some naive rube would ruin their clothes.

So I'm not sure what Naive Rube was thinking in perpetuating this tug-of-war over a stupid radio. Perhaps I felt like I deserved a fucking break. Roll-off already has a radio, after all. Sure, Anna controls the station. But everyone seems fine enough, usually, with the soul and R&B she prefers.

In any case, I'm not in the mood for Carlos' shit today.

***

I place a box of books at the edge of the container, right in front of Carlos.

"Are you just gong to stand there?" I ask.

"Give back the radio, you fucking pussy!" Carlos says. "Nobody wants to hear this pop shit!"

I know, dumbass. That's why this is so much fun.

"Give it back!" he repeats. He swipes for the radio but I grab it and place it out of his reach.

Carlos slices a bag of clothes with his pocketknife.

"I'm going to fuck you up!" he says. "Stupid little bitch! I'm going to fuck you up!"

"Cool story, bro."

"Are you really not gong to give it back?"

I laugh. Look, this entire thing is petty as fuck but the dude's entitlement really is something else.

"Give it back simply because you told me to? I'll pass but thanks."

"I'm going to give you one last chance," he says.

"Oh noes! Make sure you play some Justin Bieber at my funeral."

Carlos is fucking seething. He pulls the still-as-a-statue move again in an attempt to intimidate but roll-off simply functions around him. Nobody else seems to care much about the radio war and that's fine by me. When Carlos finally realizes that his protest isn't going to work, he grabs the box of books and gets back to business. Apollo for the win!

As an alternative kid with a preference for dark clothing and bulky accessories, the sun has long been the bane of my existence. This is especially true as I age, as one of the ways I temper insecurities about my ever-expanding waistline is by burying myself in layers. Today, however, the sun is an unlikely ally in my ongoing struggle against Carlos. It's 100 degrees out, see, and when it's this hot outside the container becomes almost unbearable, the metal walls stubbornly retaining the heat in a way that feels like you're working in a giant oven.

Pushing donations from inside the container is typically a two-person task but nobody else is up for it today. And the emptier it becomes, the safer I seem to be getting from Carlos' antagonism as I place the radio further and further from his reach. For a glorious hour I have the device all to myself. Ariana Grande! Lady Gaga! Hailee Steinfeld! Rihanna! I'm singing along, dancing like a maniac, and feeling pretty damn good. Then I hear a loud crash. 

I turn around. Carlos is standing at the foot of the container, a crate of dishes in front of him.

I've seen this before. God forbid there's glass around when Carlos is angry because he'll start chucking it, his aim loose enough for probable deniability but accurate enough to make life hell. 

He grabs a plate and throws it my way. It shatters near my feet. 

"Calm the fuck down!" I say. 

"Give me the radio."

"Come and get it.

Carlos hops into the container. Fuck. Here we go.

Of course, he's not grabbing anything without going through me first. It's too damn empty in here. I step towards him to obstruct his path. We meet in the middle of the container. Our faces are inches apart.

One, Mississippi. Two, Mississippi. Three, Mississippi. Four, Mississippi. Five, Mississippi. Six—

"Fuck this gay ass music," he finally says. Then he turns and walks away. *** A short time later we finish unloading the container. Two hours remain in the workshift but supervisor Stella tells us that we won't be getting more trucks until tomorrow. She assigns the guys to other tasks in the building while I stay behind on the dock to tidy up.

For good measure, I empty the batteries from the radio and throw them in a bin designated for hazardous materials. Then I smash the radio on the floor, throw the pieces in the electronics gaylord, then pull it inside the warehouse.

Give me my damn game ball.

[low-budget-korra]

Lets talk about Korra

Today I will speak of her, which in my opinion is one of the greatest characters everr : Avatar Korra.

 At first we see a 17 year old girl who probably had her first contact with a lot of things. First contact with a big city, first crush, first handful of responsibilities, first threat...

It is worth mentioning that since day one, Korra has embraced the role of Avatar with all strength and love. She felt proud of her position and willing to do her job as the Avatar

(look at this precious little thing)

Remember that she spent her entire life locked in a training center, without contact with the rest of the world, so her knowledge of everything beyond the gates where she lived was new.

Right in the beginning  we see her dealing with some Equalists Protestants, which she does not take seriously. And only when she witnesses the power of the leader of this movement, she begins to take the threat very seriously and also, to fear this man more than everything in her life until then.

What does Amon represents for Korra?

I think this question can be easily answered by Korra's simple argument of love being the Avatar. And at least in the beginning of the book one they hinted that her life was just about that, Being the Avatar.

We are not introduced to any friends of Korra, except for Naga, or past boyfriend / girlfriend. Nothing. We only know that this girl is the Avatar. And I would not be surprised if that was the only way she saw herself.

Maybe that's why fight in pro-bending was so important. Not only as a means of socialization, after all it was thanks to the pro-bending that she met her friends, but also as a training and more important, search for identity. I think part of the journey of Korra in the first two books is a lot about that: search for identity.

Then, answering the question, Amon is the only person who can destroy that image, which can destroy Korra. He can destroy it without even needing to kill it. And that's exactly what he does.

In episode 4, we have, in my opinion, the darkest episode of the entire Avatar series. To be honest, I'm sure that if TLOK were a live action series for example, we may have a scene of sexual assault or an explicit threat of this there , because of the power struggle there between those two characters, no, power abyss and the way Amon touch her, her face, without her consent . Some people felt some kind of sexual tension there, no wonder there are people who shiped Amorra (Korra and Amon) back in the day.

That scene is powerful because Amon did not have to sexually touch Korra to violate her. At least, this whole situation served for her to open up with Tenzin over her fears and consequently learn how to deal with them, because I'm sure Korra did not get over what happened there so fast.

Still about Power Dispute we have another character who exemplifies this: Tarrlok. Tarrlok is a rising politician who uses  Korra as a pawn in his goal to seize the power of Republic City. Amon also uses the same trick, after all, the moment he defeats the Avatar, the city would be his.

So we have this young woman who will stop right in the middle of a political power dispute.

Tarrlok also serves as a comparative. While Amon wants to dominate and destroy the avatar figure, not caring about who she is, Tarrlok wants to dominate and use Korra. And this makes me think that, that metal box was made exclusively for her. Like if that shit was for Amon, he didnt know Amon was a bender so an simples cell would be good. I think Tarrlok knew that Korra may ruin his plans so he had that as his plan B.

In the end Korra lost the physical battle but won the ethical battle against both. But at what price? Amon was able to remove the bends of the Avatar. And without them, how could she be the Avatar?

I also strongly believe that one of the final scenes of the season, when Korra is facing a cliff, I believe she might be thinking about taking her life. After all, everything she was, everything she'd trained so hard for, had been destroyed in minutes.

She, with the help of Aang and the other avatars, recovered her bends and with the help of everyone, including her then boyfriend Mako, she "moved on."

In the next one, I used to hate the first half of book 2, but then I came to see with different eyes.

In that first half, Korra is unbearable. Everything she learned in Book 1 how to be more mature, less spoiled and all, was thrown in the trash and she was the same "child" of the book one only worse.

Until I stopped and realized that I was also unbearable and childish like this when I had my bad phases of anxiety and depression, as defense mechanism and keep people away. Returning to Korra, and if this way of acting of her was nothing more than this defense mechanism?

Whether or not she was betrayed by her own Uncle. Imagine, shortly after having your life turned upside down, when you are recovering, trying to recover your image as Avatar and suddenly your own uncle betrays you? Yeah.

"Oh, but she should not have stayed on his side against her father"

Yes, but remember that our, still young avatar, has fallen into the trap of believing and trusting someone just because that person says everything she want it to hear.

In the end, Korra again goes through a traumatic moment when she has her connection with past lives destroyed. We see how it affected her when she apologizes to Tenzin, through tears. And Tenzin, as the excellent master he is, tries to motivate her to face Vaatu again (now merged with Unalaq, her uncle) and so she is able to beat him and secure another 10 thousand years of Light to the world.

In the final moments, we see the (somewhat innocent) decision to reconnect the world of spirits and the world of men. And we also see Korra and Mako permanently end their turbulent relationship, which I will speak more ahead.

Book 3 begins in a more mature, we see all the characters being presented in a more mature way and it seems that Korra, now, has overcome everything that has passed. We have the relationship between Korra and Asami deepening as well, and I will also comment further on.

In Book 3, called "Change" we have a great sacrifice from Korra. Her life goes down a notch when she decides to save the new airbenders from Zaheer and the Red Lotus, the strongest villain she's ever faced.

Zaheer, unlike the other villains, who had not explicitly intended to kill Korra, had as goal just to kill the Avatar. And he almost succeeded.

Not only that, Korra was physically and psychologically defeated. She won the battle but not the war, we can say so.

So book 4 begins and we only come across Korra in the final minutes and she is unrecognizable. We see that, once proud and courageous avatar, in someone depressed and cowed.

I think it's visible that Korra is afraid of being the Avatar again, Toph even tells her that  during the season. And I think it's totally plausible.

Korra's fight against PTSD is one of the most honest and realistic things I've ever seen. Do you think that after a violent battle and almost die, even winning in the end, the hero returns home and everything is okay? I think not.

Not only what happened in the end of book 3 , but i believe that she also has having flashs or thoughts about all her fights and all the traumatic shit that she passed 

Another thing I think is worth quoting is that Korra took 3 years to feel safer and re-embrace her duties as Avatar. It was not 3 weeks or 3 months, it was 3 years. And anyone who suffers from some mental illness knows very well the stigma that is, the fight that is, because everyone wants you to be well in 6 months when the truth is that many times you spend years fighting against this. And this is a pressure that falls on you.

Imagine, seeing all your friends moving forward while you continue "stock in the same place"?

Only after Korra confronts Zaheer, I think that was a way to show her coping with the trauma, she improves to the point of returning to be the great Avatar we know. The once "monster Zaheer" who almost kill her now is some dude in chains who fail at his plans and created an big problem and needed Korra to solve it

One of the quotes that struck with me most was in that filler episode thats a summary of all what happened in the show , and in the part narrated by Korra she says "I was so naive" and the way Janet delivered that line..., with some pain and I know the sadness but at the same time, stronger and more mature ... I think it means a lot.

here in tumblr I think, I saw a phrase that until today marks me that is :

 "The Last Airbender is a story of a boy who becomes a god. The Legend of Korra is the story of a goddess who becomes a girl "

This is strong!

And I get very angry when someone comes to downgrade my baby Korra because she is such an incredible heroine and her journey is also incredible.

The story of how life can be hard and unfair, how it can hurt and paralyze, but there is always a reason to move on. We should always move on.

Korra is definitely not weak, quite the opposite, she is one of the if not the strongest heroine I have ever seen. Korra inspires overcoming.

Now l will let to talk about the relationships tomorrow. I promise 

[notmyrick]

General Arc 3

/She had a Rick once, but she also had a Diane. Then she had a Beth. / Roxanne came back from a small business trip cross country and was in front of the house in Michigan. It's been only 3 months and she opened the door to the one-story house. As soon as she opened it a little blonde tornado came running at her screaming her name. She jovially picked her up and spun her around before placing her back down. "Missed me I see." She smiled at the child. Beth nodded and dragged her to the living room to show her what she was reading. The redhead nodded her head as the child rehashed the entire child's book to her. "You're welcome." A male voice said as he dropped her luggage on the floor of the living room. She looked a Beth and said," Truly, poor service, when did we hire this rude butler of ours?" Beth giggled as she ran up to her father and asked politely to take her luggage to her room. Rick glared at Roxx as he couldn't refuse his daughter and lugged the rectangular storage to her room. She high fived Beth in the process. Diane came out and smiled at both. Roxx got up and hugged Diane, before asking about her day. At dinner she dropped the figurative bomb on them. "We're moving to Washington." After a heated discussion when Beth was asleep, they (mostly Diane) caved in, and they were off to Washington with a two story house in the suburbs. /She had a Rick once, but she also had a Diane. Then she had a Beth. / The transition was smooth and to be honest, the relationship between the three was at an all-time high, until Roxx got busy with work again. Although Beth didn't witness her biological parents fighting, she still suspected something wrong. When Roxx was gone for relatively long periods of time, Beth would notice some tension between her parents, but couldn't figure out why. The redhead herself was tired. After a long day at work, or after a company trip, or some government bullshit she somehow got tangled into, she would come home with a 50/50 chance at either coming home to a loving family or be a mediator between Rick and Diane. In addition, she tried to distract Beth as much as possible from her parent’s arguments. Typically they try to do it when she's asleep, but some arguments were spilled over to the next day, god forbid the rest of the week. It was one of those arguments that bled to the next day when Roxx finally got a day off. She was tired but could hear the angry whispers of the two in the adjacent room. She got up and dragged Beth away from the house informing the two of them of their departure. She refused to play mediator today and decided to be the fun-loving aunt for Beth. Rick and Diane can have a brawl at the house as she distracts Beth. "Why do mommy and daddy always fight?" She asked. The redhead sighed, this child was either perceptive as hell or Diane and Rick suck at hiding their arguments around her. "People in general fight over disagreements, big or small. This is common, unhealthy, but common. It will be fine; your parents love each other. They can sort things out." She replied. "They don't fight as much when your around though? I mean maybe in the beginning, but in a few days, everything is fine, and we are one big happy family again!" The older woman didn’t give her a reply. She knew Beth was smart enough to understand her own words. "Where are we going?" the child asked. "Visiting some friends." She took Beth to a hospital dedicated to army vets. Due to her political, government bullshit, she invested into a hospital for Veterans for whatever reason. She watched as Beth filtered through the vets making each one smile a bit brighter. "And this limb right here, your aunt gave me!" "No way! How? Did she grow a leg for you like a lizard! I learned from my dad  that a lizard can grow its tail back when it's cut off!" The army vet laughed and told Beth multiple stories how Roxx and her "friends" helped each person in this hospital. Roxx rolled her eyes, she just threw money at morally ethical geniuses. They weren't her friends, but employees. However, she can still see the joy and happiness all these vets feel toward her and the staff here. She brought Beth along so she can be in a happy and carefree environment. "I've decided! I want to become a surgeon so I can help just like my aunt!" Beth proclaimed. Roxx smiled walked up to Beth and gave her a hug, not letting her out of her arms even as they walked home. /She had a Rick once, but she also had a Diane. Then she had a Beth. / The fights got worse and Roxx was tired of playing mediator. The long business trips she dreaded became her savior from coming back home to another argument between Rick and Diane. She only came home to spend time with Beth as a momentary distraction for the both. Rick and Diane started yelling at her to stay out of their arguments or start blaming her for not meditating between them. She got so many mixed signals that it caused her to break down more than once in her office. She spent more time with Beth at the hospital because that seemed to be their safe haven. Beth's interest to become a surgeon grew and she grew rapidly smart under her colleagues. Since they have been spending more and more time at the hospital, Roxx also got interested in the medical field and learned from them as well and befriended some the of nurses and doctors. One night got particularly bad at home. It was late night and Beth was asleep. All three were in the living room with a dim light casted over them. As usual, Rick and Diane where whisper arguing while Roxx tried to diffuse the situation with a different tactic other than booze. "You are never home anymore, you're always drunk, and when you do come home it's in the early hours in the morning!" "Where I go, what I do, it's my business! You're not my guardian, you are my wife, and I don't need to tell you what I am doing with my life every second of every day!" "It is because I am your wife that I have the right to know!" "Well it is my right to choose if I want you to know or not!" They finally bothered to looked at the redhead wanting to put her cent in. She looked at both, tired as all hell. "Okay, let's - on second thought, let me be Paris and we will all agree on a compromise. Sound good?" Initially she wanted to say, "let's all calm down", but she knew that just adds fuel to the fire and she really didn't want Beth to wake up. They both gave her a look. Really, this is where they agree! She had to pick a side for this argument to end because of the 2:1 vote they implemented way back when. She was not going to pick a side because the fighting only got worse. She tried to mediate between them again. "Fine! You want sides, then I'll be Switzerland. I am not picking any of your sides!" "So typical of you to be "neutral" Roxx." Rick said. "And what does that mean?!" "You never "pick" a side because it never concerns you. You say you want to help us, and self-proclaimed yourself as a "mediator", but you haven't done anything!" Diane also argued. Fuck being Switzerland, she'll be Germany! A war on both fronts! "Excuse me!" "Yes excuse yourself, just like the last time and the time before that, you have an entire list of excuses you've used under the guise of compliancy and compromise!" Diane continued. "Son of a bitch, you know what! Both of you are in the wrong! Diane, I have told you time and time again how Rick is, but you never heed any of my advice, you think because you’re some top-grade psychologist you know the human psyche better than anyone! Well news flash, Rick and I don't fit your cookie cutter mold! You're trying to fit a god damn square in a circle! And you, Rick, should know better than anyone else how it feels for their spouse to be gone for copious amounts of time! Coming back at ungodly hours, having so little contact with them to the point you look for someone else to fill the void. For fucks sake, you got lonely, banged this bitch, and got hitched! Only until you realized you were going to be a father that you told me! And it wasn’t even on your accord, you told me mid argument to piss me the fuck off!" "Did you ever thought of how I felt moving across the damn continent for YOUR job!" "I ASKED you! You had the option to say no!" "And what! Wait 5 years for you to come back!" "The ONLY reason we stayed 5 years in Michigan was because YOU banged Diane and had a child! The most time it would've taken for my trip was 2 years max!" "2 years for you to bang your coworkers while I'm in Seattle!" But that accusation was drowned out when Diane began to talk. "Don't you dare blame me! I didn't just go to the bar, saw the first man there, and seduced him!" "Might as well done it! As soon as you figured he was "married" you plotted to remove me from the equation!" "Your so called "marriage" wasn't even real! And by Rick's stance at the time, your relationship was hanging by a thread, if not already cut off!" "And so you thought "this motherfucker is single, well why don't I spread my legs and tie him down by his dick!” Did you honestly thought you could've had a Hallmark ending!" "Whoa, wait a fucking second! I never said my relationship with Roxx was hanging by a thread! I was pissed and I was angry, and all I wanted to do that night was get drunk!" "So you went to the bar with a hot blonde psychologist!"  "I went to the bar alone! I met with Diane by accident! I was already drinking by the time she recognized me! She also had a rough day so I bought her some drinks-" "Don't you dare say you bought me drinks out of courtesy, I saw you eyeing me through our entire conversation and you were sober enough to know what you’re doing!" "Stop! You cannot play innocent with me, princess! I know you calculated your fucking encounter with Rick so don't even try! Then you, Rick, thought with your dick and blew a load in her!" The conversation took a turn for the worse, opening up multiple cans of worms. "FUCK YOU, admit this is all your fault!" Rick exploded. "You KNEW your job was going to take long nights in the office! And you knew Rick was going to be lonely for majority of the day! You set him up for separation anxiety!" Diane jumped in.  Rick and Diane ganged up on her, alternating their arguments so she couldn't get a word in. "Not only that, but every god damn time I went to your office, your receptionist ALWAYS said you're TOO busy to see me!" "You ignored him for essentially a year! In addition, all our arguments are about YOU!" "Whenever there is an argument, you are the first one to dip out!" "You grab MY daughter early morning and don't come back till dinner time! You are never present in our arguments! It is not only Rick and I that have problems. We also have problems with you!" "You only come to us individually to play "angel" and get us to trust you more, not each other!" "You call me a manipulator, but you've been orchestrating this entire marriage to fail!" "If you weren't here we would not have these arguments! We wouldn't have these conflicts! We would be living happily with our daughter Beth!" "GET OUT!" Roxx yelled, anger contorting her expression. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" "WE ALL LIVE HERE DIPSHIT!" "WELL, GUESS THE FUCK WHAT, THE HOUSE IS UNDER MY NAME, UNDER MY PROPERTY, UNDER MY TAX PAYABLES. SO, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT. BOTH OF YOU!" Rick threw his hands up in the air and walked out through the garage, while Diane left through the front door. Both left in their respective vehicles to find shelter. Roxx stumbled to both exits and locked the door behind them when she saw their vehicles leave. As soon as she accomplished that, she collapsed. Ugly broken sobs ripped from her throat while she dug her nails to break her skin. She tried to stop the sobs by slowly decreasing her intake of oxygen. Her hands trailed from her shoulder to her neck as she wrapped them around her flesh. It was working, but the tear production increased. When the tears ran down her face, over her hands and soaked her neck she started clawing the tear stains in disgust. She crawled herself to a dark corner where the light wouldn't hit her as she broke down as her breathing increased. Her heart wouldn't stop beating and it annoyed her greatly, she wanted to feel pain, she wanted to numb herself, she wanted to die. However, at the same time she wanted comfort. And she was uncomfortable when she curled into a ball. She knew that being curled up into the ball was her safest position when she broke down, but she wasn't in the sanest of minds right now. She felt more comfortable twisting her limbs in odd directions, uncomfortable positions, dangerous arrangements. The feeling that her bones may snap felt comforting. Like she was a marionette on a string and once that string was cut, it will finally be free. She didn't like the pain in her heart, but she knew it was just chemicals in the brain making her believe there is pain in the heart. She was healthy, but at the same time she was not. She banged her head against the wall wanting her brain to stop fucking around and make her function normally. However, the pain she was in was translated in the brain like serotonin. It felt good. It felt nice. She cried some more knowing this was not normal, but it felt right. She was about to hit her head harder against the wall when some mass stopped her. "Please... please... Aunt Roxy stop hurting yourself. Don't... don't leave me as well." As if a lightbulb went off in her head, she grabbed the small mass into a hug and clung onto her like a life preserver. Roxanne held her gently and finally felt the pain of her own ministrations. Her head was dazed, her neck was scratchy and red, her shoulders were slightly bloody for breaking skin, and her limbs were sore. She barely recognized the clock hanging over head. 3am.

[fearlessswiftielaura13]

20 lessons I’ve learned before turning 20

According to my birth certificate, I’m turning 20 this year. Although some of the people I know would argue that I’m still five in my heart and others say I’m mature beyond my years. Who knows how old I really should be? Throughout the two decades, I’ve learned some very important things. These are far from all the things I need to know about life. When it comes to knowing how to do this very complicated task called living, I’m still a child that’s trying to walk and falling all over the place. And that’s okay. You live to learn, and you learn to live.

LESSON ONE: You more than likely won’t ever have everything figured out and it’s okay to not know. It’s okay to ask for help and there are no such things as stupid questions. You don’t need to be a know-it-all by 20, 30, 57, you don’t have to know (or pretend to know) everything even when you’re 80.

LESSON TWO: If you want a relationship…stop looking for a relationship. I know, I know. Sounds condescending. Throughout my teenage years I’ve had 10+ crushes and none of them turned into a relationship. The second I stopped trying, well, you all know what happened. That being said…

LESSON THREE: It is perfectly normal and okay to date or crush around when you’re a teenager. You don’t need to if you don’t want to, and I advise that you don’t deliberately try to, but it’s okay to have a new crush every two months. You are a teenager. Your hormones are complete and utter whack. You do you, boo, nobody can judge you.

LESSON FOUR: Not everyone is going to love you or even like you, no matter what you do. That is okay. It’s not your fault and you shouldn’t beat yourself up over it.

LESSON FIVE: It is never, NEVER too late to start doing something. I typed this lesson idea...at a gym. Yup. Finally decided to get my shit together, after 11 years of being as chubby as a teddy bear and only after my hip started screaming at me for not doing anything to keep fit. That brings me to…

LESSON SIX: It does not matter how skinny or chubby or whatever you are. Beauty is superficial. You can paint a new face on in an hour if you don’t like your current one. You can’t paint on a good personality though. Be good, damn it.

LESSON SEVEN: All that being said, don’t ever change anything about yourself because someone else told you to. The only person that has been and will always be with you is you. People change, love fades, friends leave. A troll on the internet told you to lose 10 kilos? You will more than likely never meet them again. Does it still seem relevant? Do it for yourself, not for a „shit, you got hot“. Or, better yet, say it to yourself. Every day. Because you are bomb af and I don’t give a shit what anyone else has to say.

LESSON EIGHT: You CAN love your studies. That’s right. You can love learning. All you have to do is do what YOU want to do. Not what mommy, daddy, granny said. I still get remarks about how I might not be able to do my job to the fullest because I can’t walk very long distances. Guess what, I’m still in university for journalism studies and nobody can’t force me to leave, even if they try. Because I want it. Because I chose to do it.

LESSON NINE: You. Can. Do. ANYTHING. I was never supposed to walk and guess what, look at me now. I couldn’t do math for sh*t, I despised it with all my heart and I still passed my math exam. I thought that I would never see Taylor Swift in real life. I. DID. And there are so many things that maybe I don’t think I could ever do as of right now, that I will do in five, ten, twenty years. Only because I don’t think about them as something I would even attempt yet.

LESSON TEN: What is meant to happen, will happen. Destiny is real. Yeah, we make the choices that we make, so you could say that our destiny is in our own hands, but I personally have encountered a very specific case of choice making that makes sense only in the long run. When you look at the specific choices that this person made separately and the circumstances of it all, it makes little to no sense. But now when I look back, I realize that it was all supposed to happen. Don’t kill your braincells over that failed math test (see, it haunts me, I have nightmares), it will be fine. Relax. Breathe. You’ll come out through the other side, most likely undamaged.

LESSON ELEVEN: Your hobbies matter. Your interests are not stupid. If it makes you happy and it does no harm to other people, do it. I had a dream for 10 years and it came true a year ago ONLY because I stuck with this curly headed blonde with a guitar for the last decade. I happy cried for weeks leading up to and after that one. I found friends for life because of fandoms and I love it. There’s a chance of me working as an entertainment journalist, all because I love concerts so damn much.

LESSON TWELVE: Stand for what you believe in. Always. If we all stop standing up for the minorities and unpopular opinions, many people will suffer. It is our responsibility, as people to stand up for the weaker. You have voice for a reason. Use it, speak on what you care about. The worst that could happen is people disagreeing with you. After all, those that disagree and have their arguments, lead to a discussion and discussions are good and those who just yell for the sake of being loud…do they really matter?

LESSON THIRTEEN: This is a really big one. You live once. So live the only life that you’re given to the fullest and you better have something to tell your grandchildren. I pretty much broke the door of Siemens arena trying to get front row at the Bastille gig when I was 16 years old and I don’t regret it. My idol drove me home from his own concert, ONLY because of a joke that one of my friends that was there spoke with her own mouth. I got to see the reality of one of the biggest star’s in Lithuania job and hear an unreleased track that later became a huge hit only because we went ahead and did something absolutely psychotic. I packed my bags and flew to London two days after my last exam just because there could’ve never been another chance. I grabbed the last ticket to a gig in the ENTIRE STADIUM only because I decided that I want it. Do it. Just make sure it’s legal so you don’t get in actual trouble.

LESSON FOURTEEN: You will have to kiss a lot of frogs before you know who your real friends are. Things and people change over time, you may become distant with someone you never thought you’d become distant with. Yeah, you thought you’d be friends forever, I get it. I know it’s hard to grasp. But honey, life happens and that’s okay. Someone you loved with all of your heart may do you so dirty that you’ll never want to see them again. You have every right to do so.

LESSON FIFTEEN: Your views will change over time. Be it political stance, ethical shift, anything. As long as that change happens based on research, learning and growth, I see it as something that should be encouraged and celebrated. Do your research. Educate yourself. Learn something new every day.

LESSON SIXTEEN: Be interested in politics. Vote. You’ll more than likely will live in a country you’re in at least for the next few years. I say, the future should be important to every citizen of every country. Put your input into saving the planet. If you have kids someday, they will live in the world we create now.

LESSON SEVENTEEN: Resist the urge to fight hate with hate. You will not always agree with people. People will not always agree with you. That doesn’t mean you should fight with someone who is hating on something you believe in. They will learn someday, if they want to learn. The truth is, they most likely don’t, and you trying to school them won’t really change much.

LESSON EIGHTEEN: Dream! Dream huge, dream impossible. Have ambitions larger than life itself. And never, you hear me, never let other people’s opinions knock you down. If you work hard enough, you can achieve anything you want, regardless of what anyone else has to say (refer to lesson number nine). That being said, see you at BBC World in 15 years. Or if I stay here, LRT. We’ll see, I don’t know that much about my future yet. The only thing I know is that nothing can stop me from going hard or going home.

LESSON NINETEEN: You do not have to fit into a mold. You are human, not a piece of clay. You like Disney? Cool! K-pop? Great! You’re a metalhead and you would dress all black in the summer if you had enough of black clothes? Awesome! What if you are all of those things and also a feminist animal right activist who loves pop music and writing? Congratulations, you are just like me. Let’s be friends and leave people confizzled together.

LESSON TWENTY: You are NEVER too old for Disney. That’s it. That’s the lesson. You are never too old for some Disney magic. Here, let me sprinkle some pixie dust on you. Done. You will now have a great day.

P.S. An additional lesson: never, I repeat, NEVER trust @taylorswift. She is always on to something.

[dicecast]

The Problem with Thanos Part 1

(Note I wrote this after Infinity Wars but before Endgame) 

So I have some very complicated feelings about Thanos, and this isn’t helped by the fact that he is the first majorly popular villain from the most popular media franchise in history, so the pressure is on in regards to him.  So I feel compelled to have a few disclaimers off the bat.  

Firstly, yes, Thanos deserves his title as the best Marvel villain, though that isn’t saying much (I’m not really counting Loki cause by this point he is as much an anti-hero rather than a full antagonist) and his presence basically made Infinity Wars the one of better overall marvel movie thus far.  He is a good character, a good actor, and a good villain.  So calm down fans, I’m not saying Thanos himself is bad

Secondly, I don’t think anybody is bad for liking the character, Infinity Wars is a fine movie, you aren’t bad, don’t get defensive of your big purple mass murderer ok children?

Third, and most importantly, the actual dynamics of the character….aren’t bad.  At least they aren’t bad necessarily.  Everything about Thanos works, if you give Marvel a lot more credit than they deserve.  But 

Ok so for those who have managed to avoid the marvel franchise, let me just say, good life choice, keep it up, but here is the beat.

Thanos is an alien Titan Demigod thing who realizes that as life expands across the universe, we are using up the natural resources.   So, like the world’s most ambitious Druid, he proposes to solve the problem of overpopulation in the most literal way possible.  To wit he wants to get all the Infinity Stones, basically these all powerful magical items, and wipe out 50% of the universe’s population with a snap of his fingers.  The heroes attempt to defeat him and…they fail.  He snaps his fingers, 50% of everyone in the universe dies, movie over, sucks to be you. Literally 50% of everybody just turns to dust, including fucking baby Face Spider Man.  

(wait....)

Which was a pretty shocking ending, well played Disney.   I really do think the final death sequence was the most impressive overall sequence in any of the marvel movies.   Unlike most Marvel villain, he has a clear motive, distinct personality, and is actually you know…a challenge for the protagonists, and as I said, he is a good character. Cause he had like feelings and shit.  But I see a lot of people talking about Thanos like he is the real hero or he has some reasonable points or he is an anti-hero and…no he really isn’t. He isn’t just evil cause he wants to kill trillions of people, he is also objectively wrong about pretty much everything.  

     Now this isn’t actually a bad thing.  THanos is the villain, I’m ok with the villain being flawed, I mean that is kind of the point.  In fact what makes Thanos a good character (maybe, kinda, sort of, its complicated) is the fact that he is the exact type of person who would fall for this reductive thinking, because his greatest personal flaw is his inflexibility, so again his following a wrong value system makes sense 

 What makes Thanos interesting is that he is an extremely proud person who doesn’t have the normal conventions of pride, in that he really isn’t making it all about him.  Thanos genuinely isn’t a glory hound, he doesn’t want attention, he isn’t seeking recognition, he doesn’t want glory or fame and seems to be pretty happy living as melon farmer. Its more the arrogance of thinking he knows the answer everybody else doesn’t rather than wanting something actively from others.  Which is at least the foundations for an interesting character. Thanos’ perception of self is one of the guy who makes the necessary sacrifices so others won’t have too, he is the guy who stoically dirties his own hands on behalf of the collective good.  Basically is the moral equivalent of the humblebrag, he doesn’t ask for praise or glorify himself directly, but it is a core part of who he is, like the most passive aggressive utilitarian. 

 And because he firmly believes he knows exactly how things should be done and what steps ought to be taken, he is utterly without imagination. He basically is like ‘oh this is how the thing needs to be done’ and does it, it never occurs to him to challenge his preexisting perceptions or think outside the box.  Which is why, when he has a know, Infinity Stones he sticks to the 50% mass death plan rather than…I don’t know…use the infinity stones.

Sorry, maybe I didn’t empathizes that enough

Thanos wants to solve a problem of limited resources with…infinity stones. Seriously do you not see a problem of imagination here?  

And again, all of that would be fine, if this was on purpose, again Thanos is the Villain and villains being wrong  The problem is how the movie frames it, specifically as a moral issue.

Cause they seem to think this is an ethical debate, throughout the movie, the protagonists present the argument as one of morality.

“Oh no, Thanos, don’t kill 50% of the universe that would be wrong”, which of course Thanos doesn’t respond to.  The dynamic being presented here is ‘idealistic good guys’ vs. ‘practical bad guy’ but that is just the absolute wrong argument to make.

          But the argument that should be made is “Oh no Thanos don’t kill 50% of the universe, that is a horribly ineffectively and ultimately flawed way to solve the problem of overpopulation and limited resources”.  Cause like…this isn’t a moral debate, it’s a basic practical debate. Why bother arguing about the merits of utilitarian morality when the act in question isn’t even utilitarian, it’s just dumb.  The movie presents this as “efficiency vs. morality” but in practice is actually “flawed methodology vs. a ,theory which isn’t fundamentally stupid.”  Cause guess what people, murdering 50% of all life in an instance doesn’t actually fix limited resources, especially when many of those living things are resources.  

      This is a horrible way to solve the problem of overpopulation.  Even ignoring the whole “Infinity” thing, killing 50% of the population simply doesn’t work because

1) Its utterly clumsy. See actual conservationists have to be extremely careful about population control, because reducing biodiversity risks weakening the overall eco system.  The universe losing half its population would cause a massive shock to every ecosystem simultaneously, causing further damage which actually would make things worse.  

2) While overpopulation is a problem, it isn’t really the major problem in terms of the environment, over consumption is a much larger issue. If you killed 50% of America, most of that would be India and China, but the US consumes far more resources than your population numbers would suggest.   And the largest environmental issue on our planet, namely the whole “We are all going to die of Climate change bit” is actually not a population issue or even a resource issue so much as a “the world is literally getting hotter” issue,  reduce the population all you want that doesn’t really reduce our Carbon foot print as long as we still use fossil fuels.   If the earth had only 3 billion people, but all of those people lived in first world countries, we would still be facing the problem of climate change.  

3) You will have to do it again in a few centuries anyways, remember its more than 50%, cause you have the inevitable deaths caused when planes don’t have pilots, doctors cease to exist, infants who die due to abandonment, and the panic as society changes in the blink of an eye, which risks war and worse, which doesn’t just reduce the population it also cause more environmental damage.  Which impedes you know…actual conservationist efforts.  Its not like anybody learns their lesion from this, unless Thanos plans to make himself immortal, he is going to have to do this on a regular basis.  Its like trying to solve the Baltimore crime issues by nuking the Eastern Seaboard, it doesn’t work.  And what is depressing is that I know some people in the comments will totally try advocating that.

See its not actually “Idealistic vs practical” its “Practical vs. impartial” or rather ‘simple vs. complicated”.  Thanos is faced with a complicated nuanced multi-dimensional problem and his solution to it is the most literal minded simplistic one imaginable, snapping his fingers and hoping that somehow works.  And you hear certain people (douchbags) advocate this sort of thing all the time, presenting ‘simple solutions that people would do if they only had the guts” like

“IF you want to solve homelessness, just kill them all”

“If you want to solve terrorism, just nuke the middle east”

“IF you want to solve immigration, just build a wall”

See these solutions aren’t just ethically wrong they…don’t work. And it imagines a narrative that our leaders aren’t doing these things because they are pussies rather than because the problems actually aren’t easily solve.  Trust me if there was a simple and unethical way to solve any of the world problems, our leaders would have done so by now.  

(Look politics)

Which again, isn’t necessarily bad, again, Thanos is the bad guy and he is the exact type of person who is going to think the problem with the world is that nobody is strong willed enough to solve the simple problem rather than you know..research the issue. But that isn’t actually the problem.  The Problem is a 19th century pseudo scientist named Thomas Malthus

Thomas Malthus was an English Victor (imagine a Catholic priest bit without the dignity) who noticed that when it came to rabbits, once their natural predators went extinct, they population exploded, they overconsumed the resources around them and then they were left without any population.  Malthus theorized that as war, famine and pestilence decreased, the human population grew and resources would grow scarce and then we would all die.  Thus we need to have some degree of hardship to keep the population in check.  Because humans can double their population every 20 years, we are all screwed, which is what he calls the “Cycle of Misery”.  And this theory is…entirely wrong.

(Absolutely full of shit) 

To quote John Greene 

“And what is amazing about the persistence of this theory is its complete lack of connection to actual human history”.  Thomas Malthus hasn’t just been debunked, he was debunked in his own life time.  Cause in reality, population does grow as industrialization reduces infant mortality and disease, but then it goes down once the standard of living raises to a certain rate.  As people get a better standard of living, they get a greater choice in having kids, how many kids they want and how frequently they wish to have them, to say nothing about increased access to contraceptives and sex education.  Which is why Western Europe has a lower birthrate than India.  The over population problem of the modern world not because life in undevolped countries isn’t hard enough, its because it is too hard, people in bad circumstances have more kids, better educated people living comfortable lives have less kids, which is why assuming we don’t all die from climate change, the population will eventually start to decrease over time.  See Thomas Malthus’s theories played a major role in the English response to the Irish Potato Famine, and the man most responsible for the suffering Charles Trevelyan, justified much of his policies by saying he was preventing a future cycle of misery.  That the Famine was not the fault of poor English economic planning or the long standing poverty of Ireland, or you know…everything else about the English occupation, but was instead the Irish’ fault for having more kids, and the Famine was a good thing for keeping the population down to reasonable levels.  To quote Trevelyan

“The judgement of god sent the calamity to teach the Irish a lesson and that Calamity must not be too much mitigated…the real evil with which we have to contend is not the physical evil of the famine, but the moral evil of the selfish, perverse, and turbulent character of the people”

1.5 million Irish people died as a result of this policy and another million emigrated to America, and Ireland is still pretty pissed off about it to this day.  See Malthius thought the world population boom was a very recent thing, when in fact that has been a constant in human history, and with the exception of the Black Death, no amount of hardship has every reduce human population growth. 

Thanos is drawing on Malthusian theories and it just…isn’t a good theory, it wasn’t then and it wasn’t now (and yes I know it did jump start a lot of other much more valid theories, here is your token acknowledgment of the good Malthus did here, I hope it was worth 1.5 million people).  It’s a theory which sounds good but doesn’t really work in reality, because you know…the world is complicated, and a tiny amount of land can grow more than enough food to feed everybody on the planet. We have right now, the capacity to make the entire planet run on renewable energy and end starvation, it’s actually utilizing what we have which is the problem, one that doesn’t have a simple solution.  

And I have to reiterate this again, none of this is necessarily a bad thing, Thanos is after all the  villain, having a villain who is inspired by Malthusian ideology makes sense, after all its something the heroes of the movies can oppose and overcome, you know like in a story.  And not only is Thanos a realistic depiction of the exact type of person who would take Malthusian theory seriously, he also is a nuanced complicated and interesting character in his own right.  All of this would be perfectly fine except…lets be honest, Disney isn’t actually going to refute Malthusian economics.  Maybe the next movie will surprise me, but what is most likely going to happen is that the heroes will use the power of love, friendship or just general idealism to basically argue that “The ends don’t’ justify the means” and defeat Thanos by punching him really hard in his big purple face.  And while yes, the ends don’t necessarily justify the means, that isn’t the argument worth having here, because guess what?  You don’t need to, weather or not the ends justify the means is ultimately irrelevant because…the ends don’t even work in the first place.  

I see a lot of people walking away from Infinity Wars acting like this is a complicated issue when it really isn’t, and that gets to why Malthusian economics conintune to be believed when they really aren’t true.  To again quote John Greene “I think there is a very seductive logic to the idea that resources, especially food is finite.”  And this movie contributes to a very false understanding to population and resources, and it’s the worse form of a false understanding, not that presents itself as wise (See also the Population Bomb).  Again, despite having far more people on earth today than we did 500 years ago, fewer people will die of starvation this year than any other period in human life, and that isn’t by %, that is the total number. Human existence is not a zero sum game, it is possible for me to have my life improved and yours as well, this all or nothing mentality Thanos advocates presents itself as selfishness but instead it is simply diluted.

This is not even getting into the other nonsense regarding population numbers which we will cover next time, or Why Thanos not being a racist makes his character weaker.