#i want to have that part of me back
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want to choose a chinese name for my legal name but my family would question me so bad
(they've already tried to erase the chinese culture from mine and my siblings' lives and i want to reclaim that part of me but it's like they view being chinese as a bad thing. i didn't know my dad was literally half chinese until a couple years ago, my grandma doesn't really ever speak in her native tongue anymore and my dad has never taught me anything of our culture. i want to reconnect and i dont see that as bad, but my family will be so weirded out because "i'm more filipino than chinese")
#ryotalks#this goes the same way with me trying to reconnect with japanese culture#it's like my family's ashamed of those parts of our heritage#the amount of times my mum had told me 'but you're not chinese'#the amount of times they didn't want me to go to chinese festivals with my other relatives#the amount of times i felt at home in chinese food stores and restaurants and chinese oriented towns but could never go beyond that because#i knew nothing of the culture#i am an adult i can make my own choices#but my parents would really wonder 'why would he ever choose to do such a thing'#they'll think im erasing all theyve done#maybe i am#i want to have that part of me back#it's not wrong to do so#right?
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Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in
#viktor#arcane#ig my assumption would be that he wears both simultaneously cause in the scene where he injects the shimmer#it seems implied that he just threw off his clothes and kept experimenting#so one might assume he was already wearing the smaller one underneath#tho it is a funny image to think of him just being like 'one sec i gotta go all the way home and grab my other brace to do this'#he can take off the back brace too cause hes not wearing it in the scene where he's in the hospital bed and you can see his shoulder#where the strap would be#but that one seems to make even less sense functionality wise#everything looks like its screwed together#or screwed INTO him#but only the top bolts on his spine are i think#in the close ups of his back brace model it looks like theres cushioning underneath the parts of it that cover the rest of his spine#so he can take it off. but HOW#what parts of it unscrew/detatch to pull open and off#does it not do that at all and he just has to shimmy it off his shoulder and all the way down his legs to get it off like a romper#the shape language of the designs are cool but like. tell me how it wooorrkkksss#forgive me if im just dumb and dont know at all how braces work and theres a very simple practical explanation for all this#any king who wants to infodump about mobility aids at me....the floor is yours#something to be said i suppose about the fact that zaunites have crazy prosthetics with wild augmentations that work flawlessly#and piltover's like. idk heres some fucking uncomfortable ass metal. salo gets wheelchair in non ada compliant place#they havent ever needed to adapt to accommodate disabilities etc etc#or maybe artists were just like 'heres a design' and everybody clapped and didnt give it a second thought#and then they just turned off the visibility on the mesh when they didnt need it knowing thered not be a scene where its taken off#dont even wanna THINK about what that rig would look like#like 40 different controllers#soft body and rigid hard surfaces needing to move together....#a cold chill just shot up my spine#<- guy who is only an animator and doesnt know how to rig#forgive the magic wand tool with zero cleanup. i am lazy
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he did it! 🐍 and it only took...uhhh...well, there probably could've been less punches, but why hold back!
PUNCHES FOR EVERYONE
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 9 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 9 spoilers#snakes#ONE MORE DOWN#oh my god happy jamil was SO scary and yet adorable all at once#i want real jamil to see him and just be utterly disgusted#and yet he got nothing on the return of everyone's favorite twst character: WEIRD RHYTHMIC ELEPHANT#oh weird rhythmic elephant what would we do without you#me kicking my stupid little feet as jamil wakes up through sheer force of kalim though#he was SO happy for jamil and SO ready to just go along with everything. my sweet boy.#jamil getting so flustered by him that he's just shocked back into reality#and the SLAPFIGHT#silver being like 'they need this' and doing his one smile animation as kalim and jamil are pulling on each other's hair and going YOU SMEL#mmm yes delicious#also this is probably nothing but#but...they brought up the whole thing with azul having dirt on crowley again#the thing that was briefly alluded to in episode 4 and never mentioned ever again?!#i had JUST finally convinced myself that i was reading too much into it and it was just azul playing along with jamil's plan#but now they've mentioned it again and i'm going to be all BUT WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEAAAAN for another three years about it#is it a meaningless reference to that one scene?! is it absolutely ridiculous foreshadowing?! am i ever going to be validated?!#I HAVE TO KNOW
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real talk having the 2nd worst new years eve yet 🤢🤢🤢 (throat infection, twisted neck, banged-about-foot, ego AND the rest o' me all bruised like misjuggled peaches 🍑🍑🍑)
im bent outa shape and suspectin the universe owes me 8 buck if anyone wannsa chip in
#yes the 🍑🍑🍑was just an excuse to shove ass emojis in your face i'm only (occasionally. allegedly) human#now ask me about my FIRST worst new year eve. it involves wizards and portals and elaborate lies i make up on the spot#SAD REAL TALK <STARTS>:#also made the mistake of reaching out to my mom post-xmas#like what kind of c-ptsd NOOB does that. what kinda chronic holiday trauma survivor NOVICE??? embarrassing#THE SEDUCTIVE FALSE HOPE OF NOSTALGIA WILL LURE YOU IN EVERY TIME#'oh but maybe they won't disappoint me. but maybe they won't rip my heart out this time'#sweetheart that's your dear sweet inner child's yearning for what never was or will be. BEAT IT BACK WITH A STICK!#SAD REAL TALK <ENDS>#....back to that part where i talked about being bent out of shape#if anyone w/ metalwork skills wants ta take a blowtorch & hammer & tongs & have at... I'm open to experimentation is all im sayin#in lieu of that i would also welcome someone buying me a sandwich. i am. so sore.#(metaphysically sore but also the other more urgent im-at-my-daily-NSAIDs-limit kinda sore)#(hence: sanwimch)#...i got so sleepy writing this i started imagining the astonishing hedonism#of stroking a freshly grilled cheese-dripping sandwhich across my body like a loofah#the soothingness of the gooey warm near liquid cheese. the vaguely spongelike quality of toasted sourdough slice.#look i didn't imagine it on PURPOSE it just came to me like a vision like a threat#like one of those weird mens locker room ads where the sportsball is watermelon??? u know the one#where there's nudity & food & homoerotica & hot steaming showers in the background and STILL the overall effect is more offputting than sex#look i have a throat infection. i can barely swallow. i'm sipping chocolate milk to survive and i'm NOT EVEN ENJOYING IT. each drop is agon#(opposite side of the Tantalus spectrum but i'm suffering more than he has in 3.5 thousand years)#i'm dehydrated. barely conscious. electrolytes are circling down the drain. doctors should be incubating me w/ capri sun straws right now.#I GET A PASS ON THESE TAGS#i don't know what i wrote! and i don't stand by it! and you can't make me read em!!!
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bunch of portraits
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#ryomen sukuna#megumi fushiguro#gojo satoru#nanami kento#choso kamo#nobara kugisaki#yuta okkotsu#fanart#crying im so tired....#busts aren't hard on their own but 8 of them ???#i should have stuck at 6 if i knew what was good fr me#but lucky fr choso n yuuta enjoyers i dont know whats good fr me and tacked on the extra 2 last minute#i did a bust piece waaay back in 2020 early jjk days and it was this crowd minus choso/yuuta so i wanted to like. do a kind of redraw#im happy choso n yuuta made the cut tho they r fun they look as tired as i feel#i've been having a lot of fun w the more semirealistic skin render so i wanted to stretch those muscles a bit more#took the better part of 3 days but u know i'm pretty happy w these i dont think i have a hard least favourite#fun game guess my favourite characters based on how i draw them it is Glaringly obvious 2 me#ik i said i dont have a least favourite but i certainly have A Favourite#uhhhh misc notes i tried rly hard to make sukuna's face look like yuuji's and only rly change the expression#i think i was successful??? i hope?????? like i didnt want to make him look like his own person as bad as that sounds#he is Wearing Yuuji that is Yuuji's Face#also i rly . wish there were more women . but as much as i like maki as a character i fr some reason don't find drawing her very fun ?#so nobara out here pulling her weight fr the girls my goat my queen <333
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anomaly scene + closeupp
#jayce#viktor#jayvik#arcane#arcane spoilers#im done w ths shit I CNANTTT jts like making me itchy now i dont want to work on it anymore#my art#i def have a problem of coloring smt on one layer and then deciding i actually want to change a lot of it and trying to work on top/around#whats alr there and it just makes it feel off . color palette to bg to whateverr idk i dont want to reflect on this one HELPP#but its fine i do like parts of it and i def think i learned what to try and Avoid in the future . so thtd helpful#and i like drawing jayce so i winnn . i win#so basically . and when like . so . <me when i just wanted jayce discord pfp that i drew#i forgot their hair ws supposed to be white LOLL#whatege im just glad to have something for jan😭😭#NOOOO ITS FEB WAIT HELPPP ok well i started it a while back so lets jst go by that ❤️ yay#im soo rusty . its taking me twice as long to do anything and im not rly sure what direction i wanna go when i start smth#ok anyways . ^my homework basically
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graph
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#magneto#is this the part where i have to tag everyone because everyone actually is like. semi significant in these. sure JVAELKVJEALK#cyclops#jean gray#beast#iceman#angel#warren worthington iii#hank mccoy#bobby drake#toad#mortimer toynbee#snap sketches#welcome back to Finally Drawing Months-Old Ideas VJELVKJAEKL#I Repeat love how you can tell what comics ive been reading based on what i draw like No Shit but still... lol ...#this comic is so niche but so is most of my stuff jVELAKJA I MADE THIS FOR MEEEE#it has my kids it has toad it has magneto being Unnecessary. this is for ME. also charlie lookin darlin but thats normal anyway#also hi remember how i was complaining about colors from my tablet some days ago.#i didnt realize the 'protective eye' setting was on. which yk makes the screen tinted yellow#LIKE I SAID OUT LOUD TO MY BROTHER 'lol my screen's yellowish' AND IT DIDNT CLICK#i only realized it was on when i went to turn it on at night one night and i was like. Oh 🧍♂️#anyways. sillies. all the kids....#see i thought i was gonna post this WAY earlier but as i was finishing the first version i. well i changed the last panel like three times#but even then i was like 'ok but i wanna draw the boys bein silly..' and indecisive as i was with which version i wanted#i . drew both. and have just made this a goofy two parter or whatever#ANYWAYS !!!! its great bein able to do personal stuff again ... i still have work this to do but its significantly less#so i feel more at ease to do small stuff like this#i do hope to tackle a bigger idea this month tho. while i was drawin this out all i could think of was That idea
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Happy Birthday to Fallen London; My favourite British people beefing it with bats simulator.
#fallen london#ambition: nemesis#mr.cups#Happy belated birthday to me: I finished my Nemesis ambition. I get to make a fun comic about it. THAT WAS THE DEAL!!!#...Is what I would have said had I not spent *four* days trying to draw a cool dramatic comic. This is all I have to show for it.#I also missed posting this on the Flondon anniversary so I'm double Smad and frustippointed at myself.#This is niche content but I know there are flondoners following me who will understand.#I had to make a second account because all my friends who I played with *also* picked Nemesis and dropped the game at various gates.#I failed every possible check at Knifegate. I was on the verge of madness. And yet I still love this game.#Little known secret about me: over 70% of the blogs I follow on tumblr are flondon rp blogs.#The cool art and character lore brings me a lot of joy!#With that said; what the hell is the coincidence that right as I finish Nemesis -#The flondon community starts a Nemesis Race.#Guys. it’s not worth it. It is a revenge quest about losing everything you have to see your task through.#All to culminate in the discovering that you are beefing it with a fanfiction writing bat.#That said; I do feel like this story was very satisfying for my melancholic doctor.#I knew I would get the choice between sparing or killing my nemesis (the bat) and I had a long time to think it through.#Someone who wants to save lives and (does as much as possible to do make things better for others) choosing against mercy?#Someone who never permitted themselves to let the city truly become a home because they were not a person - they were a tool for grief.#Alright..Yeah the ending was really good.#I will be back with a part two. Clearly I'm tenacious enough to commit to what I started.#If I am not excommunicated on sight by the flondon community I will be back with comics for the other ambitions.
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so ik it’s not cannon accurate but,,,
i need a fic of tim just crashing out.
like he gets so sick of like damian and jason talking about how weak he is and shit like that that he’s like “yall realize lady shiva was my one of my FIRST teachers, and i was the first robin she trained. i had to train under b AFTER he already lost a robin. you DONT think he was 10x harder on me than any of you guys???? there’s a reason my training videos are mainly redacted without bruce’s or my permission. i got ra’s al ghul BEGGING ME to join his league or have my children. i get gifts from him WEEKLY. do you KNOW how many of his little ninja i fight per DAY??? nahh im sick of this shit let’s take it to the mats” and just demolishing both of them at the same time.
i just think it’d be very funny. i just like fics of people who pretend to be weaker than they are(or they just never really have a reason to go full tilt so they just don’t) get sick of holding back and just losing it :D
#batfam#tim drake#red robin#jason todd#red hood#damian wayne#robin#unhinged tim drake#batfamily shitposts#i just need fics of tim losing his shit and crashing out#just because they are funny#and i sometimes feel like people would forget that just because he’s smart does not mean he doesn’t have hands#like bro all robins are certified villains only being held back by b’s rules#they all have insane hands and are all very smart#don’t get distracted by whichever one they choose to put at the forefront of their personality so you forget about the other#but basically yeah i just want it bc it’d make me giggle#also yes ik bruce never physically abused tim during training but i love the angst fics that use that so i added it anyways#i. don’t think it was like intentional on bryce’s part tho just that he was struggling so hard with his grief#he just never noticed how hard he was pushing tim until he pushed wayyyy too far#and yeah he and tim eventually resolved their issues and had a BIG talk about training boundaries#but only after he started getting a bit better and got it through his head that tim was just a kid and not a moving punching bag#i like to think it was only after like titans tower or some other time where he was very close to losing tim tho#bc as much as i want bruce to just be a good dad all the time he had struggles actually verbalizing his feelings#and apologizing for his mistakes
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decided to draw some of your guys' tags from my harlequin sun and moon post!!! These guys are so much fun and you're all so funny >w<
#there were so many i wanted to draw!!! I might have to go back and do a part two hehe#also too scared to spam everyone by tagging accounts but i need you guys to know i love you all sm!! sending u all so many little kisses!!!#fnaf#fnaf fan art#fnaf security breach#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf dca#dca fandom#dca au#fnaf sun moon#digital art#artist on tumblr#harlequin#clowns#answered asks#<- this doesn't really count but because i am drawing other people's tags i'm putting it here!#folks commenting on my art really motivate me to keep drawing ;w; you are all so insanely sweet and absolutely make my day every time!!! <3#just over here crying akjsfhsf thank you all so mucchhhhhhh ;;w;;#harlequin au
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i want to know everything that makes you happy! 💫🪐🎇
#the caption is aioi lyrics but posting the same thing with the same caption on 3 different socmed is embarasisng. saki save me#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#saki tenma#leo/need#i have more chibis Soon just theyre for halloween so u have to wait a few days. sniles so wide#AIOI IS SUCH A GOOD SONG AND NOBODY FUCKING TALKS ABOUT IT IDGAF. ITS SO GOOD. START CRYING WITH ME#like obviously the mv is gorgeous and stunning andni love the event and cards but im talking sbout the song. Its so good#So is purpose and nobody talks about it either wtf guys HAPPY PURPOSE TUESDAY!!!!!!#pjsk radio in 6 hours who else is about to#explode MEEE MEEEE I AMMMMM machico save me#nene focus ohantom of Theopera PLEASE PLEAS EPLEASEPLEASE HOW MUST I MANIFEST.#i always mean to draw the songs i want wxs to cover ever since i only did 2 of them Half a fucking year ago but i keep forgetting#and then other groups cover the songs and im like Wlel i cant draw it now .. (i can) (i will still draw emukasa cat food)#mmjs cover is SO GOOD i love mmj all of their covers r so good. wasnt crazy abt their early game ones but All of them for the last 2 years#have been Bonkers. amen. minoshizu duet come back to us please god.#soo glad wxs got reincarnation apple and got all the parts i envisioned for them EMU IMLOVE YOUUUU#ok i gotta go i need to hot glue more fabric onto my cosplay boots before work tomorrow. love and peaches
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do you have a special someone? any other person really, I really enjoy your drawings of people and your non yourself drawings are hard to come by
I used to think it was weird that I didn’t, since everyone I know is either engaged or married or whatever, but like…
I’ve only ever really loved a handful of people in my life, and those people… waking up and getting to see them was like every day was Christmas morning. Thinking about losing them someday made me cry. When I was with them, I wanted to stay awake all night so we could have a little more time together. I wished, sort of like a little kid, that our houses had a secret tunnel connecting them so we could sneak over and visit each other whenever we wanted.
It’s pretty much always been a familial or platonic love, yes, but that’s the only kind of love I think I’ve known, so that’s the kind of love I imagine.
And people like that… I desire comfort, and attention, and company, yes, but I want to provide for them, too. I don’t just want someone to support me- I want to make someone else feel supported. And. That’s a lot of work. And it’s the kind of work I don’t really have the energy for right now
So I figure, I’m not in any particular rush to find long-term partnership. There’s no deadline. So I’m going to just keep working on myself, and when I meet someone who makes me feel excited like that, who’s special, and thinks I’m special too, then maybe I’ll be the kind of person who’s worthy of their regard.
but for now- in terms of company, and hobbies, and casual time spent together- I think I’m doing okay. I think I’m pretty happy
#The need for companionship#combined with the low threshold for human contact#is a big part of why I have Ollie now actually#I needed someone to take care of and spend time with on a level I could manage#and he needed a human who could do that#When I can give more#I will find someone who wants more#but for now it’s just me and my boy#my delightful cat son#Ollieposting#Teaboot#To come back to later
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I think my Tango becomes more of a cat each time I draw him oh no
bonus:
#Thank you kind anons!!!!#rancher duo#team ranchers#tangotek#jimmy solidarity#double life fanart#trafficshipping#trafficblr#part of me wants Tango as a lanky guy close to Jimmy's height. A much larger part of me wants him as a hell of a creature#its okay other rancher fanart will keep me fed on both <3#for once I only doodled. But watch me come back to at least one of these at a later date when I have more confidence#tubby art
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queen of diamonds, upright + reversed 💎
I've redone this like eighty times, I have to just be done with it now and stop staring at all my mistakes oh no 🫠
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 8 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 8 spoilers#coming in well after the fact but that's what happens when the art doesn't cooperate#and i just HAD to draw something for vil's ob (re-ob?) because i loved it so much#legit put my hand over my mouth and went “oh!” when i realized what was happening#i thought it was just going to be an idia thing because. y'know. closing out his character arc from episode 6 and all#so this was like. oh! oh we're going to get ALL the inky boys!!!!!#i wonder if this is why we got a malleus flashback so early...#not to mention everyone's dreams?!#i am braced for 90% of the dreams to be kind of jokey/inconsequential because we have SO many characters to get through#and most of the time will probably be spent on our lads (literally) dropkicking their emotional problems#but i am excited to see everyone regardless!#and also kind of terrified! what on EARTH will floyd be dreaming about. do i want to know.#i do but do i want to.#man. they're probably not going to get back to it but i do wonder what silver's dream was#what was he doing when he was like 'wait a minute' and noped right out of there#lilia: here silver i made dinner :)#silver: oh boy this looks great! ...YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD#ouuuagh i'm still deep in the blotsauce guys and i'm loving it#come make snowangels in the ink with me it's great
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KYLE ADAMS as GRANTAIRE
mastered by @bikinibottomdayz
#les mis#les miserables#grantaire#kyle adams#gifset#BRUH#I SAW HIM LIVE RECENTLY#he had me giggling SO bad#his relationship with gav was one of the best parts of the show#always having a hand on his shoulder. hugging him every chance he gets. constantly having to pull gav back ...#which is totally foreshadowing gavroche running without warning for the ammo later on... and R trying to shake gav awake :(#and his relaxed nature around his friends.. jumping on feuillys lap.. kissing marius on the cheek. the light correctiv taps on his shoulder#-from the gang.. his friendship with everyone felt so real and made the final battle all the more Miserable (Haha get it)#i mean come on.. him yelling for the guards to kill him.. wanted to throw up in my seat!#enjoltaire#or whatever. sorry for yapping Bye u guys#my gifs
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And if I say Mac grew up equating love to cigarette burns and absent fathers and getting told to toughen up, that Mac doesn’t understand love that isn’t conditional, love without equal parts hate or distaste, that never in his life has Mac understood earnest love, that even though Dennis isn’t trying to, he often ends up re-confirming this idea in Macs head, that love is hatred, that-
#sorry got shot with the rpg before I could finish my sentence#it’s always sunny#iasip#it’s always sunny in philadelphia#source: iasip#it’s always sunny in philly#mac mcdonald#macdennis#dennis iasip#iasip headcanon#iasip dennis#mac iasip#iasip mac#I have something to admit which is that this is a draft and also that I haven’t seen the Abbott ep yet#I’ve been meaning to get around to it and get back to posting on here in general but such is life yk#I had a lot of insane shit go on thag stopped me from writing completely#and also#just kind of consuming media as a whole#anyways Mac and your twisted fucked up perceptions of love you will always be special to me#it ain’t much but it’s earnest#there are two wolves inside of me#the one that wants Mac to get gentle soft love that changes his perceptions completely#and one that loves the moral complexity and grey area that iasip specialize in#always Sunny is weird like that in the sense that you somehow end up equal parts rooting for them and wanting their downfall#multiple spelling errors in the tags that I refuse to fix because it would be too much of a headache to retype them all#so just pretend you don’t see them or read through them please and thank you <3
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