#i want to do poke tests and complain to the company for a refund but i also have to wait for my order of test strips before i can

[serkonans]

paying $75 for these dumb sensors........... the pharmaceutical field is evil

[prorevenge]

Killing a toxic co-workers hopes, dreams, and future.

Names changed for anonymity, happened a few years back. This is a long one so TL;DR at the bottom.

Background: I got a job working for a small hardware company. 4 people in the office, a few in the warehouse, and a delivery driver. Nothing fancy, but it got me off the night shift and onto a desk. The owner was a pretty nice guy, let's call him Ray. Ray took over the family business in the early 2000s. Like most small business owners he was pretty frugal. The job came with absolutely zero perks. 10 vacation days that doubled as sick days, no insurance, everyone was hourly and Ray hated paying OT. He had one large customer that accounted for about half his business and everything after that was profit. He had gotten to the point where the business was doing well enough to support his comfortable life (10-3 schedule, 4 weeks vacation, season baseball tickets) and had zero interest in growing it beyond that point. But my problem was not with Ray, it was with the absolute b*tch in the purchasing department.

The players: Four people in the office meant that every part of this business fell to one of us. Ray was the owner, he negotiated large scale orders both with customers and suppliers. Sarah was our admin/receptionist, sweet as pie. I was in charge of order processing and logistics, and I did quite a bit of work revamping the company website. Ingrid (aka B*tch Supreme) handled small scale purchasing and most of the other customers.

Ingrid was a living nightmare sent to punish all mankind for our hubris. She had the personality of a one dimensional Stephen King character that would be whipping an unruly mob into a frenzy. She was trash, plain and simple. She was also the most spiteful, hate-filled, vindictive gorgon to ever walk gods green earth. She was a born-again Christian so because she went to church every Sunday she thought she could do no wrong. Ingrid, for whatever reason, disliked me from my first day. I don't know if she saw me as a threat or was just having a moodswing ( I'm no psychologist but I'm 98% sure she was bipolar) but she was not happy about my joining the company. She kept it civil at first. Ingrid loved to gossip at anybody who would listen and since I was always at my desk I made for a captive audience. Everything she said was vile and mean-spirited, and most of it was blatant projection. She would complain about which actresses she didn't like like because they were too fat (Ingrid was easily north of the 300 lb mark) or had an annoying voice (Ingrid had a slight lisp). She would thump her bible to the tune of how the gays were trying to destroy the sanctity of marriage (she was twice divorced) and complain about how Obamacare was costing her too much money (she had no insurance for herself or her kids, and had a handful of pre existing conditions, she just hated Obama). She would tell stories about how she was with her son at the grocery store and he yelled at a polish woman to speak American or get out of the country LIKE SHE WAS PROUD OF IT. All in just the worst person I've ever had to work with.

In spite of all that I felt I could just ignore Ingrid's bullshit and do my job, but then she started focusing her dislike of me into petty hatred.

The spiral downward: Ingrid would take anything and everything personally. If I didn't say good morning to her she would complain to Ray that I was being rude. Ray knew she had a screw loose so he dismissed it. She didn't like that. She started trying to frame me for not entering orders that she claimed to have given me a week ago. I quickly put that shit to bed by date-stamping every order that came across my desk and checking with her, Ray, and Sarah for new orders every hour on the hour. Every time something went wrong her knee jerk reaction was to blame me and throw me under the bus.

The breaking point: One of our larger customers bought from us because their purchaser was a friend of Ingrid's. She made the connection between the businesses and Ray gave her a decent commission from it. I had met through a friend of a friend the purchaser from another large manufacturing company that uses products very similar to ours. Ray told me if I could get them to submit a sample order he would give me the same kind of commission, but that it was all on me because drumming up new business was extra work that he didn't want to do. Now like I said, this job had no perks so any shot at extra cash was a godsend. I rode my desk hard, my phone, my email, chasing this lead like a hungry dog. Finally I got the purchaser to agree to submit the order. I was over the moon. Enter Ingrid. This whole time she was pouring doubt and skepticism over the entire venture, really she just didn't want anybody else to achieve what she had. Sarah was on vacation so Ingrid had taken over front desk duties for the week. I don't hear back from the purchaser, ever. Eventually I get ahold of him a month later and ask when he was going to send the sample order. He told me that he had called a few weeks back and that the lady he spoke to said that our company didn't have the capacity to supply what they wanted. I ask him what day he called, turns out it was during the week Ingrid was answering phones. Ok, act like human garbage, whatever, I don't care. Try to make me look bad at work, screw you, I'll rise above it. Sabotage my chance for a substantial raise? Now you've awoken the dragon. I was trying to save up for a down payment on a house, and Ingrid thinks she can put my future on hold? Nope. Not happening. I vowed that vengeance would be mine.

The revenge: Ingrid had been taking online and night courses at a local community college because she wanted to become a THERAPIST (I wish I was making that up) and was currently working towards her associates degree. Ingrid was about as smart as she was skinny, kind-hearted, and pleasant. She often did her class work in the office after Ray had left for the day. One day she asks me if I can take an online quiz for her. Now I'm still furious at her for tanking my commission so I'm not about to do her any favors. But then she says something that I'm sure I've never heard her say before: Please. This was followed by "it's an earth science quiz and I can't lie." Freeze frame, record scratch. I need to process that sentence. "I can't lie" was clearly beluga shit because she lied to my purchaser. It also was a huge paradox because here she was asking me to take a test for her. But she didn't mean any of that, she meant "I can't lie and deny my faith on an Earth Science quiz because I believe that the earth was created in literally seven days and is only about 6000 years old and humans lived at the same time as dinosaurs." She needed someone who knew and understood what the Cretaceous period was to pass a test keep her from failing. And just like that I had my plan on a silver platter. Sure I could tank the test and she would have to repeat the class and that would be inconvenient, or I could be a real son of a b*tch. I opted for the latter. I told her that I would take that test, and any other for 20 bucks. Earth Science 101, Spanish 101, Intro to Psychology (a therapist that couldn't even pass a intro level psyche class, god help us all). Quizzes, tests, I ended up making $200 by the end of the semester. Then she comes to me with the request I've been waiting for. "Hey Dick, I need to write a research paper, do you know how to do that?" $50 later and I have the assignment in front of me. It's laughable, 5 pages, double spaced, doesn't even need to be AMA. An eight grader could pound it out in an hour or two, but lazy stupid b*tches will be lazy stupid b*tches. Now around this time I had gotten an offer from a much larger company downtown and was going to put in my two weeks once Ray got back from one of his many vacations. I had an opportunity to ruin her life and an exit strategy. I set to work. I l literally googled "research paper for [class name]" and grab the first one that popped up. I change nothing but the name and the date. I put in my two weeks, and the week before I leave I give Ingrid "her" paper. She doesn't even proofread it. She just turns it in and goes along her merry way. What happened next I heard second hand from Sarah after I left. The professor immediately knew it was plagiarized and got the dean involved. Ingrid was so stupid that she even tried to use the truth as an excuse. "I didn't plagiarize that paper, the guy I had been paying to do all my course work did it!" She was expelled from the institution for academic dishonesty and plagiarism, barred from any of the satellite schools or affiliate programs, and refused a refund on her tuition. Her dream of becoming a therapist shattered into dust as all of the nearby community colleges were part of the affiliate program. She was financially ruined left with no savings and a semester of student loan debt. On my last day I made sure to poke my head into her office to say "thank you, Ingrid, for everything I learned from you while working here. I hope you learned something from me as well."

TL;DR psycho snatch-basket co-worker tries to get me fired and ruins a business venture, I get her to pay me to have her expelled and crush her dreams.

(source) (story by Dickshitley)