#i want to dig back in
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discovering that my favourite part of writing a novel is editing it like what the hell is my problem
#absolutely furious but i finished the first draft today#and just like the last one editing it is the only thing i can think about#i want to dig back in#like the pressure of figuring out the storyline is gone figuring out the characters is done the ideas are out of my head#you're telling me the hard part is done and all i have to do is make it good??#rubbing my grubby little hands together don't mind if i do#like i never get this kind of motivation when i'm writing the first draft i have to convince myself to do other things rn
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never let it be said that shen yuan doesnt fight for his man with bloody teeth
he started off already risking being sent back to his dead body to protect baby binghe the best he could on his first meeting and then continued to do so once the ooc shackles came off, made sure he felt loved and safe and at home on cqm, gave him every advantage he could think of (and then wondered why binghe got out of the abyss 2 yrs early, honey...), but bc those scum villain blinders were on so tight, he doesnt accept that he (the man shen yuan inside the character shen qingqiu) can change his own path enough to not be killed, and plans his own death accordingly bc he wont ever fight against binghe again if he can help it, i just...
this man loves binghe so much that he couldnt even conceive of a world in which binghe loves him back - and thats not just the comphet olympics in his brain talking, sy genuinely believes he's unlovable and only maybe sort of likeable by his fellow peak lords, and part of that comes from being forced into a scum villains role and not knowing the bigger picture behind sqq's actions (not even touching on how sy barely saw the entire cast of pidw as people until binghe actually looked hurt to him), but the rest was already preprogrammed before he transmigrated, and i want to know who hurt him so bad - bc all sy could imagine is that the whole world should love binghe, bc thats howmuch sy loves him the story is supposed to go, but all he could imagine for himself was gratitude at best and his demise at worst, until the very moment that it becomes clear that lbh has done everything, fucking EVERYTHING, to get sqq to love him back and i just SCREAMS
i cant imagine that sy would just let binghe go if he should ever decide to love someone else, the possession goes both ways with these two, and sy would fight tooth and nail to keep binghe for himself
#svsss#bingqiu#ur honor in unwell about these men#what im saying is i want more content of sy going absolutely feral over lbh being in distress#i want to see sy tearing entire civilizations down for daring to not love his binghe#someone mentions that lord luo is looking at adding more consorts to his castle and sy loses his entire shit about it#confronting lbh the only way he knows how with cold cunning and strategic marriages of those rumored beauties to someone else in the court#before saying some shit equivalent to 'i dont want to share you' but in sqq-ese to lbh#listen im promise ill get back to hatman au eventually but this has been digging at my brain for a week straight now#any world where sqq even gets a WHIFF of lbh suddenly showing him slightly less affection is not a world he will abide by#will he actually use his words to say so? no cuz theres no plausible deniability that way#but will he take action about it??? oh with spiteful glee
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"And I hope you die, I hope we both die."
(Lyrics : No children by The Mountain Goats)
#trigun#trigun maximum#nicholas d. wolfwood#midvalley the hornfreak#wolfvalley#hornwood#tw blood#trigun rareship week#aaand here i come with wolfvalley for the first day!! how unexpected#feverishly drew this THEY MAKE ME SO ILL!!! REACHING CRITICAL STAGE BRAINROT#the prompts made me discover this song. i think it suits them#wanting each other's downfall even if it ends in their own#digging their fangs deep in each other's throat and not letting go. “keep your friends close but your enemies closer” am i right#unfortunately(?) i dont have anything else to offer for this fanweek so i'll sit back and enjoy everyone else's rare pair art🫡#(ok but MAYBE just mayyyybe i have smth in mind for day 3 but idk if i'll have the time or skills to draw it...)#shinxo art
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You ever look back and go. oh. Somebody accidentally got twice-engaged without realizing it....Good job Greyg!
Astarion dodged a bullet in this thing called Greygold's love life when he broke up with the half-orc.
#bg3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion#bg3 emperor#greygold#bg3 comic#bg3 fanart#Greygold just wanted to make sure Babe was extra protected#Never read the ring's name just the fancy powers alkfjadf#I loled when I put two and two together y'all#Dig the hole that youre in a lil more deeper why doncha Greygold?#what do you mean that's not the expression Emps made when they practically proposed to Greygold?#that's what happens when you squid-bond with Greyg#gonna have the same silly faces and laugh as Greyg now sorry squid buddy no take backs
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ghost stares at the ceiling, chest heaving in a harsh pant; sweat ice on his clammy flesh and soaked into the sheet he restlessly kicks away.
ears still ringing, his fingertips blindly drift down to trail along his vivisection scar. he half-expects blood to smear in their wake. his own line of solomon, who ordered him split in twain; half of him given to a grieving mother and half left with the grieving to be.
just for both his broken halves to be rejected.
what did it make him that his mother grieved him more than she loved him? that she begged to be relieved of him more adamantly than she begged to receive him? why did his worth spill out with his drawn blood? why was his pain lesser than hers?
his hand flexes, digging into the raised scar like it’ll part beneath his fingertips to plunge into his mangled insides. no one knows the cruelty of reforming the halved; his name, his being, not nearly as important as his body when he was stripped from himself. no one knows the pain of healing and understanding losing pieces of yourself means losing your value along with them.
how many more pieces did he have to lose before he was halved once more? before his very presence incurred grief so strong it was better to be rid of him than cradle his bloodied remains?
did the infant fight himself? did he age always at odds with himself; his halves never truly whole? he hopes he wasn’t, that he was spared the loss of self; the fear that one may be welcomed over the other.
who will he lose when the inevitable comes? when he’s ripped apart again? simon? or ghost? is it better to be cursed with choice just like his mother or live with an aftermath chosen for him? does it matter if in the end, he convinces himself there was nothing of him left to lose?
his head lolls to the side and the wild buck of his chest slows. he watches johnny beside him, his face lax with the rare peace of sleep; his cheek squished against the pillow, his lips pursed as long breaths escape him.
johnny. soap. never torn asunder but two all the same.
he carefully reaches out and ghosts his fingers along the jagged scar on his chin. even in sleep, he presses into his bloodied touch. he’s never fled his half-flesh, never shies away from his gore as it spills unbidden from his cleaved torso. he holds on where his mother let him go; cups his stomach to hold his insides in place and never minds the blood that drips through his fingers.
simon will never let him become his own solomon and cannibalise himself. he will never let him question which half of him has more value; which pieces he can afford to lose before he’s cast aside.
ghost’s soap. simon’s johnny. his.
whole, in any incarnation.
#yall know the story of king solomon?#and the two mothers who claim a baby is theirs so he orders the baby cut in half so they can each have half of him?#well guess what woke me up out of a dead sleep and demanded to be written?#anyway roba showing simon clips of his mum on the news begging for the safe return of her boy#for the government to do something; /anything/ please she just wants her son back#just for ghost to dig himself out of simon's coffin and she can't bear to look at the man he's become#he's cold and afraid and hesitant and angry and in pain and so different from her little boy that it's just too difficult for her#he's a living breathing reminder that her simon didn't come back from the desert#and ghost has to live with the knowledge that his mum couldn't love him through anything#that maybe if he got himself out sooner if he was stronger or smarter or a better soldier... if he hadn't let simon die...#maybe he wouldn't have changed so much that she wouldn't look him in the eye and see a stranger#if you know anything about me by now you know i love the separation of the self and the person they become around others or bc of trauma#whether thats hizashi and present mic or simon and ghost its one of my absolute favourite tropes#and simon knowing hes become someone else and going home expecting to still be loved anyway?#just for this new version of himself to be rejected?#thats the moment he fractures into ghost#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#ghost call of duty#cod mw2#cod mwii#save post
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Thinking about Steve Rogers finally getting the chance to go to college post-ice and being the most fucking annoying student in a philosophy professors class
#you KNOW that boy is arguing with everything#not mean spirited about it#but he wants to challenge everything to learn#push a little deeper#understand a little better#dig up what moral ground he stands on and discover the moral ground that society is built on these days vs the days he grew up vs the futur#plus he absolutely has BANGER thoughts about what is death and consciousness#by most annoying it also includes going back and forth with the professor for so long that people end up staying after class ends lol#NOT TO MENTION#he gets to have the fucking funniest excuses for why he didn't do that assignment or it was late or whatever#like#uh ma'am an alien race invading New York got in the way of me finishing my paper can i have an extension?#steve rogers
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i think it's really funny that regulus is the one writing back to them
[ID: digital fanart for reverse 1999. regulus is writing in a journal about her bad experience in apieron, looking angry. in a panel below, sotheby is reading the journal with an uneasy expression. druvis is passing by in the background, unaware and holding a tea cup. the artist's signature, @/jorgyjuice, is written below each panel. /end ID]
#my art#dig art#image described#reverse 1999#reverse: 1999#r1999#regulus#sotheby#druvis iii#i started drawing this before i finished the chapter#now that i've played the star i kind of want to doodle a sequel#regulus just writing back BOMB#prisoner in the cave
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literally nobody asked for it, but here's my list of saltburn essays that i've slowly been drafting over the course of the last week which WILL be required reading for anybody trying to engage with me about this movie. my very personal saltburn 101 syllabus just dropped
A Wolf in Deer's Clothing: Saltburn's Attempt at Innocence
an examination of party costumes and our character's last attempts to masquerade as something they're not: felix—an angel, all-forgiving and all-knowing, something to be worshiped; and oliver—a prey animal, prey to class-divide, prey to saltburn, prey to felix.
thoughts about oliver specifically are loosely organized in my #bambi tag
A Midsummer Night's Mare: Farleigh Start as the Ultimate Victim of Saltburn
a farleigh character study, about the ways he was mistreated and manipulated at saltburn, about fighting to stay alive and the scars left behind by knowing when to give in
alternatively titled "QuickStart", may be adapted into a conclusive essay specifically focusing on oliver and farleigh's relationship
The Eye of the Beholder: On Saltburn's Voyeurism & Violence [working title]
how wealth and class pushes the catton's toward the volatile reality of being able to look, but not touch. on desire and the lack thereof, and portraying yourself as an object to be desired
may end up as two separate essays on wealth and aestheticism but i'm pushing toward a conclusive essay about the intersection of the two, which i feel is at the heart of saltburn
alternatively titled "Poor Man's Pudding: A Melvillian Approach to Saltburn's Class", again, may be adapted into it's own essay
Gender-Fluid: A Study in Sexuality and Saltburn's Desire to be Dry
a deep dive into the bodily fluids of saltburn and how oliver upsets the standard of men who are just so lovely and dry. on the creative choice to lean into the messy wetness of sex and desire and the audience's instinct toward repulsion
a celebration of the grotesque and an examination of why we would label it as such
least developed of the four, heavily inspired by @charnelpit's lovely post about the fluids in saltburn
if anybody is actually interested in any of these, i can work toward something closer to a finished piece instead of just bullet points and quotes in a google doc, but mostly this is so i can share my very brief takes on a multitude of themes in saltburn that have been haunting me
edit for people seeing this in the future: all posts about my essays are being organized into my #saltburn 101 tag if you’re interested in following these through to development!
#saltburn#saltburn posting#really desperately need someone to pay me to write saltburn essays all day#or else these will never be more than a smattering of bullet points#and these are only the most developed of the millions of the thoughts that i've had rolling around in my brain this last week#idk if lengthy meta-essays are interesting to literally anyone other than me#but if any of these speak to u and u have thoughts abt them#of course u are welcome to send them my way#i think all of these were born out of either seeing bad fandom takes (ie. everything ive seen about farleigh and oliver)#or rly good fandom takes that haven't been talked about enough like the fluids thing#anyway#oh also if u want any interview clips that back up any of these ideas i have a list thats like a million miles long#and would be happy to dig for any specific things im talking about here#bambi#also also im sorry i kno the colon in academic essay titles is so overused i just love a subtitle sm#i love love love a clever little essay title. titling my essays was literally my favorite part of the essay process in college#saltburn 101
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you are worth all the struggle and bloody mess
[id in alt text]
#falin touden#marcille donato#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#blood#gore#(actually pom juice but just in case)#awhile back i saw a bunch of posts about how pomegranates are worth the effort and bloodiness of trying to open them#in like a vague poetic romanticizing way.. you know the genre of tumblr post#and thought of how much marcille was willing to do to get falin back#i dunno. not sure how to explain what i was going for here#'what if the red dragon was a huge pomegranate that marcille had to dig falin out of with her bare hands'#..i guess that's basically it actually#fan art#my art#not very accurate pomegranate drawing either but it was more fun to stylize like this and i wanted it to look kinda fleshy#for the red dragon/necromancy/general visceral struggle comparison
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today in more zolu thoughts: yet another thing I find fascinating about zoro and luffy's relationship, which I believe the LA managed to capture pretty well despite the differences between it and the og source material, is that while zoro's capacity for loyalty and devotion where luffy's concerned are insane (the all-encompassing, heartfelt, lay down my life and dreams for you, follow you until death or the very end of everything kind of crazy), they're not entirely unconditional per se. the condition here being that he has to measure up to zoro's standards - that luffy has to prove himself a man worthy of following.
there are plenty examples of this in the manga, but I'll stick to where it and opla intersect. so manga!zoro pretty much stands firm with this condition when he agrees to follow luffy, warning him about not getting in the way of zoro's dream right away. opla zoro is a lot more reluctant to join in comparison, and he just seemingly goes along with the whole thing in a more "might as well" manner; even so, there's these few subtle moments where you can see him being struck awe by luffy's faith in himself/his dream (the dinner at kaya's) and showing exactly why he's a "different" kind of pirate (ie freeing the folks from orange town).
still, the most pivotal moment is zoro's fight with mihawk in both cases. this is where luffy has to really prove himself to zoro, for the first time. because talk of dreams and promises and not hindering them is nice and all, but can luffy really stand by what he says when push comes to shove? when the life of someone he cares about is on the line? and man. the answer is yes.
in the manga, by stopping johnny and yosaku from intervening and refusing to do so himself as well, even though he was deeply upset by zoro getting hurt, luffy proved he wouldn't go back on his word nor betray zoro's trust and the faith he had placed in him. in a similar fashion, opla luffy letting zoro go ahead with the duel despite his own apprehension/doubts and nami questioning both of their choices, is what finally led to zoro recognizing him as his captain out loud and accepting his role as a first mate.
I just think it's interesting that these two kind of make each other walk on a tightrope. only the world's greatest swordsman can stand by the pirate king's side. the pirate king can have the world's greatest swordsman by his side, if he proves himself worthy of it. but the best part? for me, it's that zoro and luffy are able to challenge one another this way (or set the bar that high) because they absolutely believe the other can rise up to it and beyond.
#zolu#one piece#opla#tp#I should be packing bc i'm traveling early tomorrow but alas#the zolu thoughts are all consuming and won't leave me alone#I just. dig it bad. I adore that zoro's willing to place all that loyalty devotion love onto luffy as long as he finds him deserving of it#and luffy's on a constant journey of convincing zoro that he is; even if that means that he will sometimes be put into difficult positions#or make difficult choices#how crazy is that. the never ending back and forth of#'do you deserve my everything?' 'yes I do and I'm willing to prove it to you for the rest of our lives'#like zoro really drives himself so hard to become the best; aside from his promise to kuina; for luffy's sake#he wants to be worthy of luffy's faith too and protect the man he's sworn his everything to along the way#eating my entire fist btw#love them
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the fact that me, as a fan of both lando and oscar without any bias (maybe a bit on lando but not that much), is going to witness both "oscar fans, lando antis" and "lando fans, oscar antis" posts all in my one dash 🥲🥲
also the fact that atp i couldn't even bother enough with this same situation on both lewis and george. now it happens on lando and oscar as well which got me like....
#landoscar#lando norris#oscar piastri#f1#maybe i need to admit atp rn that#this sport is just not built for a person like me istg 🙂🙂#like....i miss the moments 2 years ago where what i only care the most is only football and football only#and couldn't even give a fuck more about guys being in circles vroom vroom#i mean thank god that there's a bayern match just now right after the race ended#which really liften my mood up and distract myself a bit from intimidating discourse and whatsoever#hmmmm ngl maybe the fact that being a football football fan in general especially in this website really brings a comfort in me#meanwhile for f1...idk why but everything about it (especially during race and after race) really overwhelms me a lot seriously speaking#maybe the fact that football is more team oriented sport#meanwhile f1 is more individual oriented despite there are teams consists of 2 individuals#and the fact that me supporting multiple individuals in a one same team despite that f1 is individual oriented sport#kinda gets me digging my own grave atp tbh#i mean when i said individual oriented sport...it kinda means that in a perspective of most of the f1 fans#and now seeing all every kinds of discourse on my dash really makes me overwhelming a lot i'm ngl#that the fact that i couldn't able to curate my own preference for this f1blr space on my dash 🥲🥲🥲#goddddd srsly tho i just want to turn back time where i only cares about bayern frankfurt and germany nt only ffs 🫠🫠🫠🫠#but yeah who am i to turn around the past 🙃🙃...and plus that once i'm getting into one hyperfixation there's no turning back at all for me#so yeah#goddddd i'm so sorry but i'm just being so fucking messy rn#like all the things that i see on my dash really exhausts my brain and my thought process forreal i really need to throw up forreal srsly :(
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In RWBY weapons are a part of a person, an extension of yourself, as Ruby puts it in V1. So, a weapon can say a lot about a person in how it appears and what it's used for.
Looking at Crescent Rose compared to our other main characters' weapons and it's immediately one that stands out from the size alone, it immediately draws our attention, it usually takes up the screen.
Like Ruby, it's striking, awe inspiring and larger than life. It's beautiful, resilient and strong, but evolves to be more adaptable during the Atlas Arc, when Ruby herself has to be more flexible and think outside the box, and her worldview is consistently challenged. It's also very easily the most intricate and complicated design, by her own admission:
"I guess I did go a little overboard in designing it..."
Which, while on the surface means it looks cool and flashy, it's also incredibly complex, just like Ruby.
And as we know from V9, a weapon like that would also be a heavy one to carry at all times too, and it weighs on her. Just like being "Ruby Rose" means to shoulder all the responsibilities and entanglements that come with being who she is, a huntress, a leader, a hero, a spark of hope and light who inspires others. In the end her resolve as a huntress and in who she is, and her purpose, is renewed and stronger than ever before, and wields her weapon once more with confidence.
That doesn't mean her burdens have gotten any lighter though, in fact upon returning to Vacuo, because of her message, all of humanity is now looking to her. No matter how strong, confident and resolved she is, that's a heavy weight for one person to carry alone.
Which brings me to Oscar's weapon, the Long Memory. Which is a cane, smaller, simple and straightforward, but has it's own hidden light stored inside. A cane is meant to take someone's weight by design, that's it's purpose. To be something that's leant on as a crutch when you're hurting to alleviate the pain by taking the pressure off yourself, so moving forward is made easier. Because everyone needs that support sometimes and it's okay to be weak, it doesn't make you lesser, it just makes you human. And it is incredibly human for us to care for and lean on one another for support. That vulnerability leads to our greatest strength as humans.
The one who carries the heaviest weapon vs The one who has a weapon that can be leant on to take pressure off yourself. Ruby who carries a heavy burden and Oscar being someone that can be leant on for support. ooooooohhhh the cymbal ism of it all.
#and if they swapped weapons at some point?#oscar carrying ruby's burdens in being leader and ruby letting herself be supported??#one becoming more active and the other more introspective???#ooooohhhhh. it'd be all over for you bitches.#another fun thing they could is if Crescent Rose breaks from Ruby pushing too hard#and her team help her piece back her weapon together for her#as a reference to Gift of the Moon and trying to help Ruby the way she has for them#that'd be so sweet#anyway I love the weapon symbolism in rwby hehehehe#also I love rosegarden#I feel like there's more weapon symbolism I could dig into with the Long Memory for Oscar but honestly#I mainly wanted an excuse to gush about Crescent Rose a bit#rwby#ruby rose#oscar pine#rosegarden#greenlight volume 10#rwby meta
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Foolish going in with two totems as a part-totem who never, never uses totems. His screams for Leo as the ceiling caves in, trying desperately to throw her a totem through the barrier. Digging, trying to glitch, trying to problem solve in a situation so chaotic and so impossible, there’s just nothing he can do. Not leaving until his totem pops - until he can’t see Leo anymore. Repeating to himself that she was right there, just right there, he couldn’t even get her a totem, he couldn’t do anything.
Foolish staying behind to make sure Tina and Mouse get out, to make sure he sticks with Cellbit, telling himself he can feel it later, as long as they survive, he can feel it later - and running out of time. If he hadn’t stayed behind digging for Leo, he would have made it. If he hadn’t given all but one of his enderpearls to the others, he would have made it. If he wasn’t looking over his shoulder for Cellbit, he would have made it.
#I NEVER want to hear he doesn’t care about his family about Leo EVER AGAIN#his screams for Leo are going to haunt me for fucking ever#and that moment when someone dropped an apple and he thought for a second it was her hat and he started panicking I cannot take it#dude just everyone digging for the kids until they couldn’t see them dying to the falling ceiling#baghera staying behind. apologizing to red for it#max going out with his bomb going back to trumpet once and for all#Phil tearing his wings to get Tubbo to safety#I’m just. I’m at a loss. fuck this man#at least team bolas won phohodkghjsjdkskfhshfjfngj#mcyt#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#q!foolish#z speaks
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Hey y'all! Do you have any patterns/resources/advice on sewing corsets/bodices/stays/stuff like that? I have once again reached the "wow I hate bras and bra shopping" point of the "having to replace clothes as they wear out" cycle
#the person behind the yarn#part of my problem is that I am an optical illusion of a human person#by which I mean all my measurement ratios are weird but none of it is visible#fun fact! my head circumference is the exact same as my cousin who is more than a foot taller than me#he is a wall of muscle! very large guy and our heads are the same size. They don't look it though!#the relevant weird measurements here are that I have a fairly small band size#but I can't actually wear my correct band size#because my torso is too narrow from side to side#I've got a barrel chest in miniature lol and the large cup size Does Not Help#so if I wear my correct band size the cups are too wide from side to side and dig into my armpits and/or ribs#which means I have to size down and use a back extender thing and have the straps always falling down#and at this point I just want something that won't mess up my back or my ribs#because once you dislocate a rib once you are more likely to dislocate it again. which is just lovely.
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The Doomed Timeline.
Warnings: scopophobia (lots of eyes), lots of blood, (almost looks like) extreme violence pertaining to eyes.
cw again: looks like extreme eye violence
#hermitcraft#hermitstuck#hermitcraft act 7#grian#impulsesv#dig art#tw scopophobia#Act 7 The Doomed Timeline#Griandark#Grimpulse#Watcherterrors#I got inspired reading back what we've already decided#also we've tried to wait things out to put out stuff chronologically#but then we just stopped posting stuff at all so#we're gonna try to post stuff at whatever place we want to from now on
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i dislike that now that jason has been firmly established as "the robin who likes school" within the fandom some people now assume that other robins must have HATED school, as if dick doesn't do math for fun
#he's literally a mathlete in like 90% of the media made about him...#wfa has done irreparable damage to his reputation#he's not the cool one he's a loser bitch outside of costume his friends just don't have a sane metric to measure “coolness” by#dc#dick grayson#nightwing#talking tag#might be back with comic panels but that means i've got to dig into REALLY old bman comics so i don't know if i want to
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