#i want to DO things
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This man!
Credit to all the owners of the videos and pics. Shout out to yall actually 🥴
#song mingi#i have a crush on him#i want to do things#this is crazy#ateez#manifest#dont come for me if you don’t want your stuff reposted if you literally have it water marked#if you want credit again feel free to @ yourself on this post.
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spent 3 hours last night panic searching for doctors to help me with my fibromyalgia. They are all either scams, extremely expensive boutique options (but are actually good apparently, if you have the money), extremely expensive scams, or have never heard of fibromyalgia and kick you out after 15 minutes.
#wrenfea.exe#apparently theres a thing called direct cost now#where the doctors spend like 2 hours with you and do all this testing and only take on a limited amount of patients#but they dont take insurance and are expensive#so you still need insurance for like. hospital stuff#but also have to pay out of pocket hundreds of dollars#if i had the money id do it since i already spend a ton of money on doctors that dont give a fuck about me#so might as well spend them on doctors that do#all the holistic care around me is scams for rich old ladies#my fibromyalgia symptoms are really holding me back#im so tired and achy and foggy and im so frustrated#i want to do things#i want to do my job well#but all the searching was fruitless#ive already seen a rheumatologist and she sucked#and none near me work with fibro patients#no neurologists do either#chronic disability#chronic pain#spoonie#fibromyalgia#disability
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How I just want to know things and write and love but the world has such cruel hands and they keep freezing mine
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Dammit, I'm being faced with a fun, albeit atypical, idea for a music animation thingy. Yet I have neither the skill nor the resources. And I can't even look at someone else's similar work because, as mentioned, it's an atypical combination.
Fudgesicles.
#ramble#i want to do things#yet i cannot#the tragedy of modern life is that it dangles possibility over cliffs that cannot be leaped
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I fucking hate this world /hj
#yes i tried energy drink again#this time red bull the good one people say#and it STILL did nothing to me#at least it didnt put me to sleep like others do#i hate it i hate how i have NOTHING to energize myself with#every day i feel like shit#cant go to doctor and medicate myself#doubt they would care for my depression/adhd/apnea#and have no external ways like coffee or energy drink#hate this hate this#i want to LIVE not exist#not burn my time away until the day i die#i want to DO things#things i like things that make me happy#i am tired of having no energy or motivation to the point of low key hating the things i like#because they need lots of energy and motivation#i am tired of simply existing!!!#my body and brain feel like a cage
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becoming acutely aware of how much im letting my life pass me by while im in this like… braindead death spiral and sometimes i wonder if like im ever going to get to do the things i want to do with my life
#no money no energy no mental stability#i want to do things#perform#make things#how do u cool ppl who are autistic w a fulltime job still do cool things and have hobbies#like please someone tell me how to balance it all
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why must i always have horrific headaches that render me bedridden. a joke honestly
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guiiwgghauaiauagguaiaghjjghjjjhhhh
this didn’t fit in the hashtags but donr rb or comment I’m just screaming to myself atm I’ll probably delete this shit tomorrow goodnigjt fuck everything live vs kill
#vent because I’m going fucking insane#so I got a weekend job right#Yay! So fun! money!#but now I have absolutely no fucking free time#and I hate it cause all I want to do is draw#I just want to draw#Just a little bit#All I want in life is to draw#but I don’t have the time#and I feel like im going to die on the floor#cause I wanna draw so badly!!!!!!!#like it’s actually such a pain and I feel so overwhelmed and I just want to cry like a big baby about it#I would draw more but the thing is it takes me so long to get home from school#and I have to walk a dog after school sometimes#and then I don’t have a lot of time before I eat dinner#then I do my chores which isn’t a lot but I still don’t want to do them#and it just#UGH#I can’t draw inbetween like getting home and supper because I need time to recharge cause if I don’t recharge I’ll get artblocm and then#not want to draw at all which I don’t want#So I don’t get time to draw cause im either occupied with something or im recharging after doing an activity#and I just feel so stuck!!!! Cause now I work a 9-5 and I hate it cause im so tired after work!!!!!!!!!!!!#I also think im just scared cause im actually growing up now and im feeling more exhausted than ever#like I want to do stuff with my friends#I wanna have fun#I want to do things#this is why I love summer because despite the heat and the bugs I have time to myself#I rarely have time to myself if any when im in school#and I HATE ITTTTT#I HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH
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#I want to do things#I'm not contagious anymore#but I still can't breathe through my nose#actually that's a lie#I can#just not very well#what do I do#dictate my life
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sigh ahhh
#sorry this is so annoying of me#i hate when my head gets like this#like i want to do stuff but it hurtssss#its not that bad omg but nioooo#im gona be wimp#i want to do things#but brain is like 'youre hurting just scroll;#that doesnt even help!!!#it hurts more!!!#and usually i can kinda picture things and figure out what will help#but theres nothing in le brain right now#and also i cant complain to my parents anymore because EVRYTIME i mention soemthing like that my dad and mom are like#'ok then we'll take your computer'#mhm thanksssss#im just seeking attention or something idk#sorry
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post this hatchair in your favourite blog's inbox when they least expect it
(mwahahah!! you get one right back >:))
(you don't have to send it to someone else again if you don't want to shdfdsf)
REALLY??????
#AAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHAGDYHGHGAHJDGHGADYUAAAAAAAAA#:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#also sorry everything interaction I make has a 4 hour gap in between#I want to do things#but then I want to do things that require less work#and then I do that for too many hours#then I do something that requires significantly more work#and then when I'm done with that I return to the original thing#ANYWAYYYYY#ask#kaheeliez#my stuff
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in my literally sitting staring at walls era
#i want to do things#but sometimes the energy to put on my laptop#esp since i hv to plug it in to jse it#bleh
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i HATE being sleepy all the time i’m always sleepy even if i get rest im sleepy IM SICK OF IT GGRGRRAAAAAAHHHHHH
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this stupid cold really fucked up my weekend plans
i was supposed to have a fun pool day with the fam but nope
wanted to do some more photomode stuff but i have zero energy for anything creative
i'm so tired of these stupid little colds i get after traveling or doing a convention. pre-pandemic i almost never got sick from this shit and now it's like a guarantee every time
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Sometimes i like to fantasize about someday being some kind of great well known comic artist as if the workload and pressure would not render me to tears
#i just want my work to be liked and recognized and i want to be acknowledged for my passion when i hardly make anything is that much to ask#yeah it is#weeping#i want to do things#but it so much#im not cut out for much#i dont do much
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Okay I’m writing another smut thoughts episode
greysonclothiers, June 27 2023
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