#i want so many things out of this life now and im still reckoning with that. and the fact that getting them will take even more fight.

[perilouspage]

my mom keeps asking me when I'm gonna have kids, when do I think it's gonna happen. how do I explain to her that for a majority of my life I thought I'd have killed myself before I was 23, and now I'm off the map for my own life at the age of 26. how do I look to bring a life that I'm responsible for into the world when I'm barely tethered to my own.

[thorarms]

Thor is banished, stripped of his powers, and forced to live in Midgard for many years. What kind of life do you think Thor would built on Earth?

Aaaaaa this is such a fun question!!

Short answer is im not so sure lol

Longer more rambling answer full of personal headcanons under the cut :)

I mean, i presume this is after loki visits thor on earth and lies to him about frigga forbidding him from returning. Im also working under the assumption that thor doesnt actually hear from anyone from his old life again, because adding them in doesnt really feel in the spirit of the question imo.

Short term we know from canon that he feels directionless and initially focuses his energy on helping jane with her research. Thors a smart guy, and could probably help jane fill in some of the blanks in her research before she has observational evidence of like, asgard existing.

I think initally he would crash with jane, and would look into getting his own place, probably in new mexico because he's started making connections there.

Personally i headcanon that thors lightning powers manifest as a sixth sense, in that he would be able to sense electricity around him (kind of like how some sharks do with ampullae of lorenzini). So i reckon that losing that specific sense would initally be really hard to adjust to, but he would adjust.

*note. This is about where i searched "what is there to do in new mexico" because all i know about the place are it's in a thor movie and the roswell thing happened there also i kinda wanna go hiking and stargazing in new mexico now*

Honestly i think that, early on at least, thor would spend a lot of free time stargazing, partly from homesickness and partly bc apparently new mexicos an amazing place to do that. I think he would spend most nights looking up at the stars wondering if his loved ones are looking down at him.

He would probably initally make ends meet doing some sort of manual labour, maybe something with horses. He might not have asgardian strength anymore but hes still a pretty big guy. He could probably still tame a wild horse if he really wanted to (i dont know how strong you have to be to do that).

In terms of like, long term life goals, im not entirely sure. Thors entire life up to this point was about assuming the throne, and now he has to not only let the past 1000 years ago, he has to build an entire new life from the ground up. I think what would be especially challenging is the lack of time (assuming he's been turned mortal and only has like 50-60 years left). I think that realisation would force him to look inwards and figure out what he really wants in life.

To me, thor at his core is a good man. He likes helping people. He needs that sense of purpose. I think he would end up building quite a charitable life for himself. Maybe he moves, maybe he stays in new mexico, truly i have no idea. But i think at the core of his life is the need to do honest, meaningful work that benefits people.

I hope you find this an interesting answer! It feels like such a ramble of ideas (truly my brain is not working today i cant organise my ideas for shit rn). This was really fun to think about i spent a lot of time in work thinking about this, tysm for asking this!! :)

[did-i-mention-the-shirt]

okay okay yes i KNOW i should be writing my fanfic BUT

Community characters as AJJ songs bc it's my favorite show and favorite band :] (If you want anyone added, feel free to ask!) Jeff Winger - Brave As A Noun. Okay, hear me out. This song not only applies to him lyrically but also shares the energy he has in the later seasons. He's just forcing himself to be satisfied with a life he doesn't really want, but also doesn't hate, is very season six finale. That is very much BAAN.

Britta Perry - Dissonance. It really has her energy. From the pilot to the finale, it fits her consistently despite her major character change. She is not put together. She hates herself because everyone's told her to. Britta is the best, but no one sees that. Not even herself. The only people who treated her with respect were the people she spent the least amount of time with! Think about it, she's had - what? - One touching scene with Duncan and Pierce each? She deserves more.

Abed Nadir - Goodbye, Oh Goodbye. Just listen to the song and you'll agree. This is mostly because of Troy's departure or in Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas. Whenever he has to confront his emotions, he has this distance between himself and everyone else. The opening lines, "I was thrown onto the ground/I was locked inside a basement/The guards went on vacation while I plotted my revolt." really, really, REALLY reminds me of 'Virtual Systems Analysis' when Annie's talking to Abed in the mind locker. It's a sad song, but it really fits him. The line "It's nothing like the nothingness that normally numbs one pain" is very clearly related to Troy. He got so used to Troy, and he never took him for granted, but Troy became a constant. He was Abed's anchor, and now he's gone.

Annie Edison - No one. This is Annie, particularly as the Ace of Hearts in 'A Fistful Of Paintballs'.

Troy Barns - A Big Day for Grimley. It's giving post-sea voyage Troy. He's changed, he's traumatized, and he's a little bit alone. He's proud of himself but is full of regret. What happened to Abed? He doesn't know.

Pierce Hawthorne - People Ii: The Reckoning. THIS IS PIERCE!!! Now, many of you know I love Pierce, so if you don't then you might not agree with this choice lmao

Pierce is sad. He is so sad. In Britta's words, he has spent so long looking out for himself, but he would give it all up for a shot at a family. He never gets that family. The study group never fully accepts him, despite his efforts and his becoming a better person with their help. Even Annie, the nicest to him in the group, seems to see him as a project or something. Like, he's just some old racist, homophobic old man, and not someone with 60+ years of trauma that he gradually works through with the help of his friends. He gains a brother. He defends the LGBTQ+ community. He wants nothing more than to be close to Jeff. And he dies alone.

So, yeah. "Here's to you Mrs. Robinson, people love you more, oh nevermind."

Dean Craig Pelton - Human kittens. No, I don't know why. Someone needs to give him a hug (Jeff).

Ben Chang - Dipping Things In Stuff. I don't know, he's batshit. He wants love though, just like the rest of us. This is very seasons 5/6 of Chang, I believe.

Buzz Hickey - Hate, rain on me. Tired, nihilistic, and praying for hope. I really like this song for him.

Elroy Patashnick - Normalization Blues. Don't ask me why. It works.

Ian Duncan - Fucc The Devil. Sad, distant, desperate, and hallow. But enough about Duncan. This song is the perfect example of, "I have what I want. Why am I still not okay?" which is what Duncan faces a lot. "I wanna go away for a while/Away for awhile/Because the things that I have seen/Are turning me into a shitty human being." Look me in the eyes and tell me that's not Ian. This man deserves so much more then people will let him have. Don't get me wrong, he's awful. But aren't we all, just a little bit?

Frankie and Shirley are too sane for this band im sorry to them

[adidegmez]

spn s6 spoilers

I know there are many spelling mistakes in the text. but I wanted to share anyways. If I don't forget, I'll make arrangements tomorrow.

s6 ep1(exile on main st.)

hi dean😁. dean is happy. he is living a normal life. we entered with a happy music. everything will go bad, right? his old habits won't leave him. he is still running into danger. sam and samuel is back that is a good thing but i think bad guys are behind this.

s6 ep2(two and a half men)

i love soft dean. i love him no matter what. he would've made a great father. i still can't trust campbells and sam(a little). lisa understands dean and i love her for this.

s6 ep3(the third man)

btw what happened to the father shapeshifter. I thought they would catch him in this ep. I love teleportation. Dean's reactions to the teleportation are very funny.

s6 ep4(weekend at bobby's)

i love seeing bobby. i missed seeing dean but i really loved this ep. i am glad bobby got out.

s6 ep5(live free or twihard)

sam let the vampire turn dean into a vampire. why sam? he litterally watched it. sam isn't sam. he is different. he let his brother turn into a monster. idc if there is a cure what if he drank blood dean wouldn't drink i know he would rather die than drink. which he did. but how could sam do that. dean could never be a monster. even if no one stops him he'll stop himself. i am glad dean learned what sam did. he doesnt know why he did it neither do we but its good that he knows he cant trust him. no dean you can't trust sammy. he isn not the sam we know and love. either he changed or he is not the real sam. either way he is not the person he used to be and we cannot trust him. and sam and samuels deals are different. samuel hid djin from winchesters. and samuel doesnt know whats up with sam. It may have been the same person who brought them back, but I think something different must've happened afterwards.

s6 ep6(you can't handle the truth)

dean couldn't handle the truth. did sam deserved the beating i dont know. he is different but even if he cant feel anything i think he must know what is wrong and what is right. he really let dean be a monster. i dont know how he can redeem himself. i hope he can, really. but i dont know how he can after all af this. and what is sam if he is not human? the goddess of truth couldn't have lied.

s6 ep7(family matters)

what do you mean his soul is gone cas? Sam is lying, again. i know he cant feel but he must know the difference in right and wrong. i love crowley some times but most of the time i want him dead.

s6 ep8(all dogs go to heaven)

sam really doesn't has a soul. he makes logical choices. but they need emotions sometimes.🤷🏻‍♀

s6 ep9(clap your hands if you believe…)

aliens, huh? is gabriel back? funny ep. i love dean's reactions. and i love sam trying to understand emotions. at least he is trying.

s6 ep10(caged heat)

when i learned about cas on the internet i thought we'd see him often in the show. but he is rarely on the show. i hope we'll see him more he is so funny. i am not sure if sam should have his soul back either. i dont think crowley is really dead. he'll come back.

s6 ep11(appointment in samarra)

sam's gone too far. he tried to kill bobby. i hope this sam will be gone for good and we can have old sam back.

s6 ep12(like a virgin)

sam might be back. it's nice to see sam care. i missed him. soulless sam wasn't sam. and i can see itin his face. the way he looked. i love jared padalecki. mother? is she Echidna from greek myth(percy jackson😁). might be🤷🏻‍♀.

s6 ep13(unforgiven)

i really missed caring sam.

s6 ep14(mannequin:3 the reckoning)

i really liked lisa and dean. and ben of course their little family was beautiful. i think dean was genuinly happy with them. i now believe sammy when he says he's got dean's back and so does dean.

s6 ep15(the french mistake)

i love balthazar. omg i didnt know this would be the ep where they go to the real world or something like that. i thought that was in later seasons. im so excited. this ep is amazing. what is wrong with the angels? they have no difference from the demons.

s6 ep16(…and then there were none)

rufus and bobby might be my favorite hunter duo after winchesters. i was really angry with sam and i didnt know if i could love him the way i did before all the bad things happened but after soulless sam i really missed old sam and i love how he cares about dean i love how he would kill anyone for dean and i love he is back. he did some bad thing but he always tried to save the world and dean. and i love him. and i really hated soulless sam. but i am glad we got soulless sam for a little while thanks to him i still love him the way i did before all the demon thing. rip rufus.

s6 ep17(my heart will go on)

ellen and jo are alive. ellen and bobby are married! they don't know about titanic. this must be a parellel universe. and i liked this universe already. [KAZ 2Y5] is back. impala is gone.

s6 ep18(frontierland)

somethings are really wrong with angels. dean can pull off any look. cas is scaring me, little bit.

s6 ep19(mommy dearest)

Jefferson starships i love dean's face when he says that. dean, you are a genious. i hope eve is really dead(probably not). cas and crowley, huh? they make a good team i guess. but this will make dean mad.

s6 ep20(the man who would be king)

cas looked at us, right? castiel brought back sam and he lied. dean will be devastaded. dean really trusts him. i would've trusted him too. dean has a point. but i saw what he did. cas lied to their faces. crowley manipulated cas. every bad thing ha ppining in spn is because of manipulative demons. first ruby then crowley. And yet a father abandons his child.

s6 ep21(let it bleed)

i knew balthazar would help. dean sad again. i wish he could just live with lisa and ben.

s6 ep22(the man who knew too much)

how could cas do that to sam? balthazar was right. he didnt have to help but he did anyways, is a good angel. cas is really changed. he broke the deal. even demons wouldnt break deals. cas why did you kill balthazar? he was just trying to help dean. you've got to be kidding me. angels and demons they always ruin everything. i really thought cas wouldnt go this far. but he did. i know some spoilers but i am not sure what they mean but cas must go back to normal. I know he will make peace with the Winchesters. hopefully soon.

i would watch new season now but i just slept 4 hours this morning so i have to sleep. I'll watch new season in the morning.

[quodekash]

ASDHSAGFHDGAFHGAHGFAS EPISODE 10

need I say more?

AND HE'S WEARING HIS SHIRT???

THE MORNING AFTER THEY HAD SEX (or perhaps just a very intense makeout session)

BRO THATS A POWER MOVE IF I EVER SAW ONE

AAAASFHDSHFDSAFAHSDHSADH

that's the first time ive heard someone refer to banging their boyfriend as "mind-blowing" and I honestly love it (I say through wheezing gasps of laughter that's hilarious kang)

dont gaslight him bro

we all saw it

and it was tender and beautiful and lovely and perfect

and I swear if they pull an akkayan episode 6/7 and reveal that kang imagined the whole thing, I promise I will track down the houses of p'lit, p'toh, p'pratchaya and p'bee and I will personally smack them (and then while im there ill hug them and thank them for their amazing directing and writing because they're all incredible and im so glad these series exist because of them)

THANK GOODNESS

IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED, PHEW

YES

YES PLEASE DO THAT

AND THEN WE CAN SEE GUYNAWA

because istg if they pull a soundwin and give us HEAPS of progression in episode 9 and then literally NOTHING in episode 10, I promise I will do what I said I would do if they pulled an akkayan episode 6/7

you better watch out directors and writers, your faces may be slapped shortly

so soccer is a video game now? and the sailom-scent-shirt is like a special equipment thing with magical properties?

honestly if someone made drts into a video game id buy it. and I dont even have a gaming console.

I would buy a gaming console entirely for drts video game

okay yeah I agree but I reckon it'll be fine, kang's dad has already paid a bunch of money so I doubt the coach will get too mad

but also I still want to believe that he got onto that team with actual skill and that the money exchanging thing just kinda happened, but it wasn't the reason he got on the team, you know?

so im hoping that maybe when they go to the training camp, the coach will explain everything?? maybe???

ALSO everyone on the team is gonna be IMMEDIATELY suspicious of kang and sailom. kang shows up several days late to training camp, and sailom is with him. theyll all be like 👀

my hope is that the first guy to figure it out will be the bloke in the red jersey because he was side-eyeing guynawa ALL of last episode

AWWW

and see, there's something about the difference between what coach says here, and what his dad says a few episodes earlier

"Don't worry. I understand how teenagers are. I've been through it all, I understand" where he's familiarising himself with Kang, relating himself to him, remembering how messy his life was when he was a teenager, and using the "I get how teenagers are" line to comfort Kang when he is grateful for being given such a great opportunity

as opposed to "I get how teenagers are, they never want to study, you should just relax all the time" where he's using his understanding of teenagers from what he's seen during his election campaign (this was in the same conversation where he saw his son playing Fifa and kang got hopeful that maybe he could bond with his father, and his father said "ive seen many young people playing it during my campaign". he relates everything back to himself, the election, and general teenagers as a concept rather than as complicated human beings that you should try to connect to if one of them is, oh I dont know, your son?). and the line is overlooking and dismissing the stress of school and being a teenager. and he never once asks his son if he wants to study. he assumes that he doesnt, because of what he knows about teenagers entirely from observing during his campaign. the man doesnt sit down to talk to his son and learn things about him and to help him and give him advice, like a father should. he's never around to do so.

but then coach says such a comforting thing and he words it in the right way and even talks about how he himself was once a teacher, and he understands what kang is going through, even if he doesnt know all the details

oh would you look at that I wrote an essay

I could actually turn that into an actual essay if I wanted to

the exam i have on king lear in less than two weeks can sit to the side for a while, kangsailom are far more important

GUYNAWA WALKED ONTO THE FIELD TOGETHER THEY WALKED ONTO THE FIELD TOGETHER AAAAAAA

PLS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

hes like korn but... better

love korn but idk, he kind of asked the same kinds of questions and made fun of his friends in the same sense that guy is now, but he did it differently and it came off in a more intrusive/inappropriate/rude way than the way guy's doing it if that makes sense? idk

so you decided to go outside where name is?

what, are you planning to do him

(this is the second time in two episodes that ive made a joke about saifahname doing each other, what is wrong with me)

name is taking notesss

he's cooking up that robbery plan (??)

YOU COULD TRAVEL THE WORLD TOGETHER

HOW CUTE WOULD THAT BE

AND NAME LOOKS SO HAPPY HERE

ITS A TERRIBLE SCREENSHOT BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, YOU'VE SEEN IT, HE'S SO HAPPY AT FINDING OUT THEY HAVE THIS IN COMMON, AND HE'S SO HAPPY THINKING ABOUT THE POSSIBILITIES OF TRAVELLING THE WORLD GJIERKBGS

he remembers things about him

HE REMEMBERS THINGS ABOUT HIM

okay I know it seems like im pushing a romantic agenda on saifahname, but even if they have an entirely platonic relationship, I still love them and their dynamic so so so much

THATS WHAT IM SAYING

its been years since they were in high school, literal years since they last saw each other and literal years since they last had a decent conversation with each other, and yet saifah still remembers that one tiny detail about the guy

like what the hell

EVERYTHING????

IM CRYING

WHAT THE HELL MAN

is this the part where he professes his undying love for him that flourished when they were in high school and it faded into the background for a few years when they were apart, and then he reconnected with him and all those past feelings came rushing back at once?

(im like. half kidding about this)

okay, every line they say I become more certain that they must've had a thing in high school

like a "one-off, no feelings attached, experimenting" kind of thing

OH MY

JUST KISS ALREADY??? OR HUG??????? DO SOMETHING, PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU

IDC IF ITS ROMANTIC OR PLATONIC

START CRYING OR SOMETHING

AND HIS SMILE

I AM VERY MUCH NOT OKAY

ITS A CRAP SCREENSHOT BUT WHEN SAIFAH DOES THAT BIG WIDE GENUINE SMILE IT BREAKS MY HEART A LITTLE BIT BUT ALSO MENDS MY HEART A BIT AT THE SAME TIME

THATS WHAT IM SAYING

oh

so the determination for the robbery that's probably coming up isn't gonna be for entirely selfish reasons

its for wholesome adorable possibly-gay reasons

be gay do crime folks

Im loving the theme of debts in this series

and not just in the form of actual money debts

other debts, like the debt of gratitude that name owes this guy

or with kang's dad and his idea of "its my way of apologising" "its my way of helping you" and how those gestures were ways of forcing saifah and kang into owing him a debt

debt is such a weird word

but yeah. and like, even the debts have debts in a way

name, a debt collector, owes his employer a debt

ging is offering to pay all of sailom's family's debts, so long as sailom tutors kang and gets him into a good public university. so now sailom owes ging a debt of gratitude, and if he fails at helping kang into a public university, then he has not only his actual money debts, but he'll have the feeling of guilt on his shoulders for not achieving that goal

I just think its really interesting

OHHHHH

OH OKAY I GET IT NOW

that makes a lot of sense

man I hate this guy

YOU SEE, AND THIS WOULD BE VERY INTERESTING AND CRUCIAL INFORMATION THAT HE SHOULD'VE TOLD HIS SON, SO THAT HIS SON DOESNT FEEL ALONE??? SO THAT HE CAN TRY TO RELATE TO HIS SON IN SOME WAY???

I dont think this man has any idea how to be a father

he has no clue what hes doing and he's not even trying to figure out what he should do

he literally said last episode that kang just gets like that sometimes, and he just leaves the house because hes mad and angry and has a lot of emotions, and he comes back within a few days

maybe instead of just waiting it out, he could TALK to his son and say "hey kid, I know you're going through a rough time right now, I get it. I want you to know that you can talk to me if you want to or need to, because I've been through the exact same thing - I used to run away from your grandmother for weeks on end because I was angry with her. so I know exactly what you're going through, and I understand that its really difficult and scary being a teenager, but if you need it, you can talk to me about this, and I can offer what best advice I have" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT???

JUST TALK TO YOUR SON BITCH

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE PART OF HIS LIFE

THAT'S ADORABLE

SAILOM I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Y E S

FINALLY

GOOD JOB BITCH

HES GONNA GO SEE THE GAME

TAKING INTEREST IN YOUR SON'S INTERESTS, GOOD, FINALLY, YOU'RE GETTING THERE

IT ONLY TOOK YOU 18 YEARS BUT YOU'RE FINALLY GETTING THERE

JKDFGBEDVFS

ITS LITERALLY HIS MOTTO AT THIS POINT

HES SAID IT IN FOUR OUT OF THE LAST FIVE EPISODES WE'VE HAD

I LOVE IT SO MUCH

that's the way he appears out of thin air? not sitting next to him, or saying anything? just silently handing him a bottle of water?

come on man, work on your dramatic flair

anyway, I so hope that while they're sitting there watching, kong does the classic "so you and my son have something special" line where its super unclear if the parent knows they're in a romantic relationship, or if the parent just thinks they have a strong everlasting bond of friendship

im thinking specifically of uther talking to merlin about him and Arthur in that one episode

"im not busy" but... the governor's birthday?

I mean I agree that the governor isn't important, but I didn't think he'd think that

OH WAIT

THIS IS DEFINITELY THE FIRST TIME HE'S PRIORITISED HIS SON'S INTERESTS AND DESIRES AND HOPES AND WISHES AND DREAMS OVER THE BLOODY ELECTION CAMPAIGN

HERKSJGDB

GOOD JOB MY GUY

THIS SHOULDVE HAPPENED A LONG TIME AGO BUT IT IS HAPPENING AND THE VERY DEEP WOUNDS ARE FINALLY STARTING TO HEAL SO THIS IS WONDERFUL

CRAP IM OUT OF IMAGES

30 images is really not many

[legacyshenanigans]

Bare with me... I'm feeling the big sentimental

I can't express to you how much Marvolo means to me, the emotional connection I have to him I've never felt for another fictional character.

No matter what happening in my life I can just look at a photo of Volo and it physically heals me (my favourite ones are those where he is smiling)

Anytime I need to disassociate from my real life I come here, like when I thought that you left for good and won't be posting anything at all I have to literally sit and think what I would do to escape to someplace better. (but also thankfully you didn't delete the blog entirely)

I lost all my photos a while back god knows how... And one of the main reasons I was sobbing my eyes out at midnight was that I had so many photos of Marvolo and Rowan and I lost them all.

There aren't many places in real life where I feel safe... Your blog is one of the few where I do, feel safe to say the first thing that comes to my mind (even if they are mostly horny thoughts heh)

I feel like I have said so much yet I still want to say more...

The main thing is that you've felt safe since day 1 and I can count on my hands how many people in my life have made me feel that way

I can't see through the tears anymore so I'm going to end it here <33

Love you so much

Wolfy 🐺

I cannot fucking express right now how much this ask touched me. I swear to god, im speechless. 🥺

What lovely words to tell me, Wolfy 💕

I was never going to go forever in general, just from HL stuff.

Your support and love has been amazing, and I really appreciate it, like, A LOT 💜

I'm so happy that my little world helped you in some way, hearing that makes me smile. 💚

BIG love to you, Wolf, seriously ❤️🤍

Also,

I do remember at one point that I had said if I left the HL fandom, I'd be taking my blog with me.

I've since realised I don't want to do that because of the bond I have to this blog now and you guy's.

Tbh, the last few days was mainly me saying goodbye to HL side of things. Because I'm not going to be posting HL content anymore (aside from a few audio's that I may make to use up my 11labs letters, then after that, I won't be posting the HL stuff anymore. And at first I thought that was also going to include my OC stuff, i'm still on the fence about what I wanna do regarding content on my OC's, but i'm happy posting murder hubby pics for now, I will make some audio's of him too, I still don't know if its worth me writing anything currently, and I wanted to take a break from doing written posts anyway for the time being, I really don't know what I wanna do.

All I know is that RIGHT now, my heart is still VERY invested in my creation of Marvolo, and tbh, Rominis too (Ominis being the only HL character I still care about because of what i built with him and Rowan) so it's hard to decide what I want to do right now in regards to written posts. I've had so many people reach out and tell me to stay and JUST write Marvolo / OC stuff if that's what makes me happy, and I mean, they're right, I should just do whatever I want, but my brain isn't my friend at the moment.

I've got pictures to post, and those 11labs letters to use, I'm just kinda taking each day as it comes to see what I want to do.

I've also had people tell me my HL love might spark again when HL2 comes out, which let's be real, isn't going to be for a long time I reckon, but yeah, I'm going to keep this blog up definitely, and I'm still going to be around ❤️

Sorry to blabber on 😅

[journey-to-the-attic]

I just read your recent Au that you and @sythesizeher are talking about and im in love with the AU!

But i have many questions soo..

1. What is Barbatos’s role here? Im still gonna guess he’s still Diavolo’s assistant but what’s the story here?

2. Would it be right for me to assume that Solomon had started his friendship with Mephisto because of his connection to Diavolo’s dad but now with Diavolo’s dad dead, Mephisto is probably on the run due to the lawsuits?

3. Lucifer is a lawyer so Ace Attorney shenanigans? OH WAIT MAMMON CAN BE HIS ASSISTANT or we have could the brothers take turns being his assistants?

4. Wait does that mean Simeon is the prosecutor here? (Wait why the hell am i making this so ace attorney, this isnt the right AU)

5. Would it be interesting if Zhao is the Devildom king but because he’s too busy, he accidently neglected Ik like JTTA? Would be cool parallel to Diavolo..

6. Adding to question number 2, what role does the newspaper club have in this AU?

7. This isnt really a question but “Solomon trying to expose Diavolo for his dad’s crimes but ended up helping him make the public love him” kinda reminds me of Candace trying to expose her brothers thing from Phineas and Ferb

And that’s all for now because im way too tired and in need of sleep, hope you have a good day/night!

- 🐧 Anon

hoho okay here we go!!!

1. barbatos - in this au the equivalent of the chronodae are the 'believers'; barbatos is hired as diavolo's tutor, which is a cover for him being tasked with keeping him from finding out about all the demon stuff. barbatos ends up having second thoughts over the years, and he's the one who first clues diavolo into looking into his dad's weird cult stuff after he dies, and promises to assist him in making things right

2. solomon and mephisto - similarly to barbatos, mephisto was originally in on the whole thing, but (as in jtta) he got more of the dirty work - sourcing the things they'd need, covering up their tracks, so on. he's a lot more taken in by sonno's stuff than barbatos, and such he only starts having second thoughts towards the end of sonno's life before that though - solomon does notice that he seems very in on the company's inner dealings, even though mephisto doesn't seem to have any good business sense, so he does befriend him to try and get some secrets out. mephisto sees right through him, but he's sort of intrigued anyway, so they end up in a sort-of-friendship, with a lot of back n forth and song n dance once mephisto does get cold feet though, he confides in solomon very cryptically and vaguely, then just disappears - soon after this, sonno suddenly starts deteriorating and dies, because it turns out he's BAD at managing the demon stuff without an assistance. solomon assumes mephisto vanishing was him running away, like a coward (similar to how he assumes he was abandoned in jtta)

3/4. the lawyers- i'm not at all clued into the lawyer world, but afaik it's not generally a "this firm is for defence attorneys, and this firm is for prosecutors"? i think (especially since they're an independent and very new firm) lucifer's firm is doing business consultations and such, and they partner with diavolo's company as per his agreement with lucifer

i reckon lucifer and satan are the only ones who genuinely see law as their career path (which could be a source of the luci-satan conflict), the others see it more as something they're helping with while trying to figure out what they really want to do

the celestial law firm is like a family business, so the brothers grew up accepting they'd take that path - since they followed lucifer when he got kicked out though, now they have a lot more freedom (as for simeon, he really just wants to be a writer, but he's also very dedicated to the family business)

but i reckon there'd be at least one big dramatic trial against diavolo - potentially as the Big Turning Point that might reveal the secret of ik's nature - and simeon would be the prosecutor, and lucifer the defence! so we can still have ace attorney shenanigans in that respect

5. zhao - i find it so hard to imagine zhao as a genuine demon king, but maybe that's because i associate the role so much with sonno in jtta? i imagined that ik-the-demon is born from some past ik-the-human, and zhao is human-ik's father. maybe he turns up as a genuine ghost in the office building later on (which could make for big big drama, because ik doesn't remember her life as a human)

6. newspaper club - paranormal investigators! solomon joins forces with them at some point, but somehow never gets to meet their elusive fourth member, despite that fourth member being the main source of all their information

7. phineas and ferb - Yes

[dandelionbutch]

the water runs cold this time of year

river,

its me dandie, but i think the last time we talked you knew my old name. i stopped looking at your blog when i saw you talking about a girl. i remember spiraling when i saw you were heading to another state. i told myself i wanted to check on you and i did, it never actually helped. when we last talked i tried to explain what was going on with me. i didn't get to elaborate, you had already made up your mind about leaving.

i think you had made up your mind about that months before you had the balls to break up with me. i felt it, even from miles away, the pattern repeating, the grip loosening slightly, a flinch of detachment. maybe you saw when i noticed, and i couldn't get you to say anything. i know you were new to this, i pressed you pretty hard, i thought we talked about everything. i should've said you weren't ready. i should've cut it off before it got so bad. i could've saved myself so much pain and confusion.

but in all versions of this story you run, and im not the person who can run after you. it felt like you started off-roading the moment i got into my pace.

sure hindsight is 20/20 and i remember the spark in my head when i thought we were going too fast. there was so much going on in my head and my life and emotions and identity and things were just so overwhelming. and yet, i didn't howl with you, something in me held back. i thought landing in a mattress would be the right choice. it wasn't a fully aired mattress and i felt my body snap when i landed. i should've looked harder.

im not saying it wasn't fun, i truly do think you are a force to be reckoned with. i miss your ramblings about the environment and fishing and the things you liked. i cant think about fly fishing or sword-fern without your face blinking in my mind. i think about telling you things before remembering you dont talk to me. i miss how my dog loved you, i miss that trip we took to that beautiful house. i think about your family living closer to me than you, dreading a day i see them in the wild, how would i even begin to say anything?

now, there was a big part of me that i didn't understand until i met you. you had so much valor and pride. maybe im romanticizing the societal and interpersonal abuse that comes with being different in the gender spectrum. i came out as nonbinary a month after you left me on that park bench. i came out twice in the time i knew you. you had seen and known some of the worst feelings i could imagine and yet you were still out and trying, and ill never be able to thank you enough for showing me that.

you have this raw, blinding pain in that ballroom of yours. when i saw it, i was worried you'd stay waltzing in those marble floors forever. somehow i think you are. your fingers shake to light the match on your new life. your name, your opinions, your fear and your love, all chandeliers in that hall that you seal shut. i know that the longer its sealed the harder it will be to open. ive never had a ballroom, just a dance floor under the stars.

i know i wont be a flash in your mind, how could i be? we had so many deep and intense moments of healing and growing and learning. brains don't just forget about people like that. i just hope you know that severing the pathways like that can cause more harm than good. and i'm sorry i tried so hard to reach for you when i should've let go. you said 'i think wed be great friends' in the same conversation of 'i think we should maybe breakup' it was confusing so i took the better option: be friends. i had been grieving ahead of time, so by the time you finally broke it off i figured we could move on and be friends seamlessly. i wasn't thinking about how you felt, how could i? you wouldn't share how you felt. we both put on smiles and walked on. we were lying to ourselves. still you were definitely a shut door when mine wasn't using hinges

im so excited for my life and i hope you've found some hope in yours. i feel like i would still have a conversation about this if you were ever ready, but thats improbable. plus so much has happened since June. i've been lucky to be busy with my livelihood.

until i see you again, be well. i always end up okay

[playingonedchess]

i have an essay i need to do for uni. sometimes after spending too long on tumblr, i think, i could literally just go around pretending im gay? how problematic do you reckon that would be? but then i might be expected to actually kiss a guy, and id have to say i just dont find them attractive. except that would never happen cause no one would find me attractive in the first place, so i could probably get away with it. do you think id get a public callout video on tiktock? although i wwouldnt see it cause ive never used tiktock so someone would have to tell me. i could print it out and tape it to my cv. then the interviwer would ask why i did it and id say i was actually gay and in denial and it was an excuse, and theyd believe me but id be lying again. and theyd feel sorry for me so theyd offer me the job even though im shit at everything and id get a ticktock and post a video about it with a link saying donate here to kill puppies and kittens and so many people would donate that id become a billionaire and richer than elon musk and id offer a bounty to anyone who managed to get elon musk to make a tiktok where he cosplays as a 2010s tumblr user but id also secretly bribe him to eat mouldy anchovies every day and then someone would missread the post and catch him in a pitfall trap full of burning oil and fire eating poisonous snakes, except that this was actually what i intended all along, and the last visdeo he made before dying will go viral and people will be cutting bits out and selling it as the new edgy currency for rich weirdos but then ill post a video starting a conspiracy that he isnt actually dead and he came back as a shapeshifting flesheating zombie and he wants to eat your eyeballs. except he really is dead, but people dont know that, and it starts a mass panic where they buy hand sanitiser cause they believe it repells zombies except this isnt true either i also made it up in the bestselling book i wrote called Hand Sanitiser Repells Zombies and its actually about how to piss the largest amount of people off online by pretending to be gay but no one bothered to read it so they dont know that. and then i admit that im actually not gay and this starts online discourse so heated itt ends up on the streets, and then i post a video saying that actually i am gay, but no one believes me and this starts even more discourse that ends in nuclear war. and this triggers the zombie apocalypse and everyone dies except for me cause they all believe that hand sanitiser repells zombies. and then i sit in my room and reflect on the fact that i still havent done my essay and im still not gay. i make a video about it and post it on tiktock and it goes viral with the zombies. the zombies are all gay now, and they also all believe they live in an anime. they decide to cancel me as the only person in the world now who isnt gay, and then when i refuse to publicly apologise they tie me to a nuclear bomb and lauch me into space. just before i explode, i make a video explaining how i just realsed, life is an anime. and its the first thing i havent lyed about since i first pretended to be gay. then i explode. then the zombies decide to ressurrect elon musk and worship him as their messiah, but their cars all explode on the way to the airport so they decide to go with margaret thatcher instead. at this point, everyone is just wondering when it will end, and the answer is never.

[raid3r-r4bbit]

2, 10, 14, and 24 for all 💖

this was far more depressing then i wanted it to be my bad lol

Jolt

Jolt has crippling anxiety. He hides it really well under a very thick layering of anger, sarcasm and apathy, but once it's stripped away he'd likely be prone to regular panic attacks.

Also, He's suprisingly great with kids. He's a great teacher and mentor, having a lot of expericence on his resume; and in 'pre-war' or 'irl' situation he'd probably have become a teacher or guideance councelor.

I have had Jolt in many AU's. He's been half dragon demon, a ghost, a zombue ghost, and also a cyberpunk mercenary. so i cant really think of many more AU's id like to put him in. ( this goes for all of them, rikki having had the least and jolt the most. Bux and Keres are actually split from the same oc, and you can see various peices of the them throughout the (many) years, if I could find my old sketchbooks.)

Cold and unfeeling. He wants to be preceived as a force to not to be reckoned with, something not to fuck with. He'd like his enimies and oppenents to be near pissing themselves at the sight of him.

If his parents never left the farm, or stayed in Arizona with the NCR, He likely would have stayed a farmhand, or possibly a trader. He would have probably lived a suprisingly normal life.

If he'd stayed with his siblings ( i cant spoil to much can I?) he'd still be with them, and again, would have had a surprisingly normal life with a slightly less traumatic past.

Bux

Bux is pretty open about all of his feelings, but he's got a very bitter side to him. he puts out a stupid goofy manic persona but he's very bitter and angry. maybe not the most hidden thing, I guess? but it's a very toxic, seething bitterness that if he didnt have any support or crutch would likely make Jolt's bitter persona look silly.

same again. I even made him an alien, twice. I'd say irl for him but ngl i basically ripped myself in half to make jolt and bux, so his irl life is basically just… my own… (farm, abusive parents, running away, drugs, mental health issues, its not really fun irl i guess?)

Depends on the person, he likes to be seen as a goofy funny guy to people he likes, but to people he doesnt he'd rather … not be seen by them.

When his parents divorced, (this comes up pretty early on so it's not much of a spoiler) he'd either have lived a normal life or still ended up with Keres and the others if his mother had taken him with her. ( btw by normal i mean as normal for that environment as possible)

Keres

Keres has the least amount of trauma of the enitre group. They still struggle, however. (lmao, me, with untraumatized characters? never.) hwoever, they have the healthiest coping mechanism, facing this stuff head on.

Keres never technically had a cyberpunk phase, nor a ghost phase. they were still a demon, when i split them and bux apart, and then later when i fused them back together ( and apart again) they remained the same. I'd love to speculate on an irl version of them though.

as a teacher or mentor, a guide. Alternatively, as an equal.

Keres' and Rikki's backstory are both pretty still un talked about by me, but without spoiling anything, Keres would have likely become a leader of their group. Their life would have still likely mimicked what it is now just more calm. (they kinda end up the same in every path.)

Rikki

this poor baby where to start? genuinly the most trauma of the entire group. (haha im so fuckin not sorry) she's the only one who genuinly uses drugs to medicate herself and not just to get high. She can't handle being cornered, confrontation, correction, it'll break her.

But she's also a suprising confidant. Her own pain makes her easy to vent to, and she'd keep any secret completely under lock and key.

10: same again. rikki was a ghost, demon, vampire, and while she was never technically made into a cyberpunky character i have others that kinda fill her place. still would like to see an offical version now. im not good with au's i guess?

14: happy and friendly. healthy, okay, fine, all good, nothing wrong.

If not for the events that led to her being where she is now she'd be dead. everyone else is on a 'dark' version of their own paths in this story. Rikki is on the best path her life could have gone.

[altocat]

Ok I will bite. What do u think abt jenova? Do you think she's actively malicious the way we people are? Or malicious in the way an eldritch monster may seem to come off? I dunno she's such a creepy wretched being. Im obsessed w her shes so fascinating.

Jenova is DEFINITELY malicious in my head, but I think it's a subjective maliciousness.

It's kind of like a shark. A shark will kill anything that gets too close if it's hungry. It won't care about the pain it inflicts, so long as it gets what it wants for survival. Now add to that a man-eating shark that intrinsically targets humans because it views them as the best source of food. It's still all about survival.

Jenova wants her fill of planets. But it's out of instinct first and foremost. It's part of her makeup to conquer and kill. She doesn't empathize with humanity (or the Cetra) because in her mind, they're all livestock. Expendable and unworthy. And it doesn't matter what she does to them--their customs and morals are not applicable to her. If you don't think about your food, neither does she.

She has more personality than an animal though. In that she can hate or feel some extent of emotion. But they're just a very predatory, low-empathy variation. I think at one point, her thoughts and desires were not as aggressive. But eons of conditioning or some sort of cataclysmic planetary reckoning drive her out and pushed her into her murderous mission. In the end, she only values her own instincts and survival.

I don't think Jenova is even female. I give her female pronouns because the games do, but I think that she's genuinely sexless. I also HC that she's the very last of her kind, hence her planetary travel in order to spread her influence.

As for her relationship with Sephiroth, I believe she manipulated/semi controlled him at Nibelheim and then allowed the altered, insane version of himself that currently exists to fuse with her and take control. To her, he's a useful enforcer of her desires. A pliant worshipper. Not quite livestock due to his cells, and enough for her to aknowledge that they are, in a strange way, similar creatures. He's a very helpful tool. And if he views her as his "mother" that's fine with her. She'll encourage it, expand those feelings, make sure he's in absolute euphoria just to be one with her. She doesn't "love" him because she's incapable of those sorts of human associations. But she does value their relation, as well as his skill. But if Sephiroth were to ever surrender himself back to his human feelings or memories, she will have no more use for him.

Luckily, Sephiroth is a good "son". Completely, mindlessly devoted. Touchingly loyal. He uses Jenova out of his own will and desires, but Jenova is satisfied because it's ultimately HER desires filtered into his own. He is in control. But she IS him. And he is her. And he will never betray her in her conquest. And, in turn, she soothes and caresses and strokes that very unstable, needy section of his psyche that is easily swayed by her influence. It's an extremely parasitical symbiotic relationship.

The only time she feels their link truly being tested is whenever Sephiroth fixates on Cloud or Aerith. It's the only time he truly seems to experience human emotions again (hate and fear and obsession and lust). Cloud in particular seems to draw out such strong emotions from Sephiroth and Jenova is constantly persuading him to drop the vendetta and get their goals accomplished.

Jenova changes her main physical shape every hundred years or so, though she can willingly shift into many different violent manifestations if threatened. Her physical representation is basically dead and dormant. Her active consciousness lies either as an invisible entity that hovers around Sephiroth, or manifests anywhere she wants to be. Shinra never really "owned" her. They had her body, yes, but Jenova hasn't used that old thing in years! She instead followed Sephiroth throughout his life, observing and haunting him. She was never interested in Genesis and Angeal as they were not directly implanted with her cells and thus, not related to her beyond a superficial means.

Jenova can take many forms and use many voices. She is unable to "speak" to humans though. She projects her desires through them and they can use that as a kind of language. She can also shape their dreams or induce hallucinations. She is capable of triggering madness in individuals by producing a terrible, growing vibration and that basically functions as severe tinnitus. She additionally is capable of secreting soothing pheromones from the liquid that coats her skin, rendering the victim drowsy and suggestible. Horrifyingly, Jenova has mechanically debated several times whether or not to mate with her "son", if only to preserve their species and expand her influence. She holds no qualms about the disgusting taboo of the act, but is not sure she could manipulate that out of Sephiroth. Even in his altered state, there's still too much human in him for her tastes. He'd possibly tear her apart for it.

Jenova is ultimately a disgusting, wretched, vile abomination. She isn't evil in her own primitive moral scale. But she would gladly kill all the humans and would even discard Sephiroth if he cannot serve her properly.

Sephiroth has, in the end, essentially unknowingly traded one prison for another.

[adorerdraco]

It’s Only Quidditch ✧ Draco x Slytherin!Reader

Request: can i please request you and draco being in slytherin and dating for a while and you two are on the quidditch team with him so maybe you two are in a match together but you get hurt and he gets worried and has to win the game and visits you after and maybe even wrecks the person who hurt you hehe just fluff and angst

AU AROUND 6TH YEAR NO VOLDY

Warnings: angry!draco, vengeful!draco, VIOLENCE, kinda graphic details like blood and injuries, lil bit of angst

Words: 3.9K (love making these long for no reason)

A/N: ANGRY DRACO IS SO HOT IM SORRY WOW BUT I HOPE THIS IS GOOOOD PLEASE ENJOY MY MADE UP CHARACTER AND MY SUPER LONG QUIDDITCH GAME THAT CONFUSED ME AFTER A WHILE OF TRYING TO WRITE LMAO and i made gif :)

November had begun and with it came the new season of quidditch at Hogwarts along with very poor weather and over-bundling nerves. Tensions had always gotten high around this time of the year amongst the teams and all animosity between the house’s respective players was on the forefront as the competition was building. It was like clockwork every year; captain’s starting strenuous training schedules, begging Snape to help book the stadium even if it was already occupied, spying on other teams to figure out their strengths and weaknesses. Not to mention the arguments that would happen regularly in between the first couple of games when you and your teammates would be accused of cheating or using dangerous and illegal moves. Which did happen to be true most of the time.

It was safe to say that it was the most eventful time of the year, and as suffocating as it sometimes got - you looked forward to it every time the new term started. It was in quidditch that you found yourself feeling the freest in, zipping around the stadium in a flash of green with the wind blowing through your hair and crisp autumn air biting at your cheeks. But most notably, it was in quidditch that you met Draco Malfoy and had quickly evolved from teammates to friends, to him now being your boyfriend.

You made Slytherin’s team your second year as a Chaser, a shiny new broom being given to you on the first day of scheduled training when Lucius Malfoy had made a generous donation that came along with a new platinum blond seeker. With the two of you being the latest additions to the teams, your captain, Marcus Flint, had decided to leave the dirty work for the two of you to do in the downtime every one else was able to enjoy. Marcus never changed that as the years went on.

So you and Draco would be sent off to other teams’ practices nearly every other day or week, depending on how secure Flint was feeling, both of you huddling closely together for sometimes hours behind the thick wooden benches as you watched and studied tactics with conversations in between. You would joke around a lot and call him your partner in crime which he would always roll his eyes to and make a snide and playful comment about even if he secretly loved hearing it. And the two of you stayed partners in crime for a while, neither of you ever making any move towards the other besides lingering touches and longing looks, and very rarely, a shy compliment.

It wasn’t until last year when you were hiding behind the bleachers, bored out of your mind watching Ravenclaw have a flawless run through around the stadium when you were graced with the dumbest idea.

“They’re playing good today,” you drawled out, “too good that it’s boring.”

“You reckon they studied so hard and found the key to quidditch?” He snickered as he played around with a pebble on the ground with his wand.

“We should help them out,” you suggested as Draco turned to raise a puzzled eyebrow at you. “Prepare them for the unexpected, nothing too crazy.”

You took out your wand from your pocket and pointed it towards one of their Beaters that was sitting idly by on their broom, a faint “confundus” leaving your lips that caused the broom to jerk swiftly to the side and nearly topple over its rider.

“You’re a genius,” Draco laughed quietly, repositioning himself so that he was right beside you with his wand directed out into the field. He spotted one of the bludgers flying towards the same Beater and instead of colliding with the bat, he used a charm to direct it into the back of their broom and then doubled it back around to try and hit one of the passing by Chaser’s that moved at the very last minute. 

You were a giggling mess, gripping tightly onto Draco’s arm as you watched everyone begin to look around wildly for the wild bludger with panicked expressions. What either of you didn’t realize in the middle of your joyed hysterics and Draco’s smugness for causing the angelic sounds, was that the bludger was flying idly still in front of the bleacher’s as his wand was still trained on it without moving it around anymore, his focus completely gone and concentrated on you.

It wasn’t until you heard someone yell out a, “Is that Malfoy and Y/L/N back there again?!” That made you get up with a sudden jolt, grabbing onto your accomplice’s hand as you ran towards the set of stairs that descended out of the stands. All you heard was distant angry insults and threats quickly fading out of ear-shot while you ran, laughing uncontrollably alongside Draco with his hand still tightly gripped in yours. 

When you finally reached the entrance of the empty courtyard of the castle with flustered cheeks and wheezing chuckles, you looked down at your joined hands at the same time he did and after a few seconds of realization and lingering adrenaline, you quickly moved into each other with a yearning kiss that changed everything from that day forward.

Draco stood beside you while you sat on a bench outside the locker room, your head resting lazily on the side of his leg while his fingers carded soothingly through your hair. Marcus was pacing in front of you, using his broom as a walking and pointing stick whenever he wanted to add any calculated words to his very hostile pep-talks that left everyone feeling more irritated and stressed.

Today was the last game of the season and the most important, it was the game that ended the season with a shimmering Inter-House Quidditch Cup and it just so happened to be against Gryffindor, making the stakes much higher than they already were. The matches against Gryffindor were by far, the most dangerous as they weren't afraid to play roughly either if push came to shove. The determination to beat each other and to win was critical on both sides and the day always ended with some sort of injuries.

“I don’t care how dirty we have to play today,” Flint fumed to the team, “I don’t care how many fouls we get, as long as we win.”

“Relax, Flint,” you sighed deeply. “We have the best players on our team and we’ve been working our arses off all season, we’ll be fine.”

“Still, I want to see blood out there,” he muttered back, walking towards the entrance of the field as Madam Hooch started calling your team out to start.

You stood up with a huff, Draco frowning when he noticed how tense you looked when your eyes worriedly met his.

“All right, love?”

“I'm just nervous,” you shrug, “I don’t want to mess up.”

The silver-haired boy moved to stand in front of you, placing two strong hands on either side of your arms to stand you in place so that he would be the only thing your wandering eyes were able to focus on.

“You are the best Chaser that Slytherin has ever had, no, that Hogwarts has ever had and I know for a fact you’re going to do amazing out there,” he cups your face with care, brushing a few stray hairs out of your face as he spoke. “You’ve got this.”

He pressed an encouraging kiss onto your forehead and then your lips, smiling at you supportively before taking your hand and hurriedly walking the two of you out into the field where the match was about to start.

Almost the whole school had shown up in an overcrowded sea of red and gold for Gryffindor. There were red sparks and small fireworks of lions that were charmed to roar when the animal would open its mouth. On one end of the stands, however, was the entire student body of Slytherin that was throwing green and silver ribbons and sparklers from their wands, yelling loudly in support as if their life depended on it. Over the rails, they had thrown down a large poster of a snake that moved around sleekly over large green words that read, “SLYTHERIN FOR THE WIN.”

Rain was lightly drizzling from the grayed dense clouds above, a sharp chill in the air from an approaching winter that always seemed to give the worst weather during the last couple of games of the year. You didn’t mind it since the cold had always felt nice against your sweaty skin during the game and it served like a small revitalizing shock that gave you a surge of energy to push forward with. 

Madam Hooch quickly went over the rules, set free the bludgers, and the snitch, forced the two captains, Wood and Flint, to shake hands and by the time she had counted down from three to one - brooms were soared into the sky with such speed it looked like a tornado had formed as she threw the quaffle up into the air.

A roar of cheers erupted from beside you as you got ahold of the quaffle, dashing past your House while you headed straight towards the Gryffindor’s goal post and managed to make the first shot in within the first five minutes of the game putting you at 10-0. You spotted Draco flying around above, smiling down brightly at you with triumph that only fueled your confidence as you darted forward to catch the ball again. You were, just as Draco had said, the best Chaser on the team and in all of the school. You were fast, agile, and smart when it came down to it and you were the reason why your team had easily wracked up 40 points with thirty minutes down in the match. Marcus was always trailing behind you with focus, shoving anyone who tried to get to you or pulling them back by their robes that landed Slytherin a couple of fouls throughout. 

You didn’t like to play dirty, but when Katie Bell had rammed into your side either accidentally or on purpose, it knocked the quaffle out of your hands and into one of their other Chaser’s, Rowan Rees, a muscular and tall seventh-year boy that had made the team that same year. With Katie still closely trying to cut you off, you veered sharply into her with your shoulder before breaking away from her and heading towards your goal post where they were trying to shoot. 

“ILLEGAL PUSHING FROM Y/L/N, FOUL AGAINST SLYTHERIN!” 

You rolled your eyes at the announcer, completely ignoring the boo’s that had filled the air as you whizzed past the other houses even though it was you who got hit first. Just as Rees had raised his arm to score, you flew over him, swooping your arm underneath your broom until you felt the quaffle back in your palm and ripped it from his grasp. The match was becoming more intense by the second, Gryffindor was promptly catching up in points because of the penalties they were awarded from the illegal moves your team was making and it left you feeling more pressured that it was nearly a tie now, Flint reminded you of that every chance he zoomed past you.

Unbeknownst to you, Draco was watching you cautiously from across the field most of the game when he noticed how close everyone was trying to get to you. You didn’t see the way you were almost tugged back multiple times or were missed by inches when someone was about to push you. Or how the Beaters were deliberately directing the bludgers in your direction. You also didn’t see how irked you had made Rees with your constant scoring and with the sporadic few times you had cut him off or almost bumped into him - but your boyfriend did, and he was much more focused on your safety now than the Golden Snitch he or Potter hasn’t spotted yet. Instead of searching for it, he was purposefully maneuvering himself around in front of the other Chasers to throw them off their focal point towards you so that you would have a clearer path to fly through.

He watched as you pulled your broom upwards to try and twist away from the area but Rees had reached out and pulled at your ankle, sending you out of your seat as the quaffle fell while you tried to rebalance yourself. That was all the encouragement the blond needed when he hurtled down into the mess, kicking at the back of Rees’ broom and sending him quickly spinning on a dive before he could try and move any further. 

“FOUL AGAINST REES AND MALFOY FOR KICKING AND TUGGING!”

“MALFOY!” Flint roared as he flew past, “Potter’s spotted the snitch! This isn’t your place, get out of here, NOW!”

And when he looked up, sure enough, Harry was going around desperately with an arm outstretched towards the small glint of gold that was moving too fast. 

“Go, I’m fine!” You shouted out to him when you flew back up with the ball back in your arms.

It was like slow motion when he forced himself to leave your surroundings, everything around him was moving fast and intensely with everyone screaming wildly that he couldn’t think straight. In a daze, he haphazardly sped towards Harry but noticed the panicked look on the seeker’s face when he had lost sight of it again which directed his attention right back to you. You were right in front of the Gryffindor goal post, arm stretched over your head and releasing the quaffle with a harsh throw.

“Y/L/N MAKES THE GOAL, TEAMS ARE AT A TIE-”

It wasn’t until the very last minute that everyone, including you, had realized the flash of red that came hurtling into your side at full speed, Rees colliding so loudly with you that it echoed around the stadium in a powerful clang and crack.

Draco watched in horror as you were thrown off your broom, your now unconscious body falling like a rag doll with a speed that sent his stress levels into overdrive. He had never pushed down on his broom so fast, immediately abandoning his spot to bolt towards you even as Marcus was screaming at him to not go. 

A few feet above the ground and before you met it, he managed to loop his arm around your waist and heave you onto the front of his broom with a slight struggle as it was now raining hard and clouding his vision. He saw Madam Pomfrey and Mcgonagall rushing into the field, hands holding tightly onto their hats as they worriedly rushed towards the area where your broom had fallen and where Draco was hovering over with you. 

“TEAMS ARE TAKING A 10 MINUTE TIME OUT!”

Marcus had flown down towards him, face twisted in fury and annoyance as he approached. 

“Is there a reason you’re not being a seeker, today?” He spits, “because I’ve been seeing you do everything but your job.”

“My bloody girlfriend just got knocked out!” Draco seethed at him. “I’m not going back into the game, I’m going with her to the hospital wing.”

“Like hell you are,” Flint scowled, “if you leave, you'll forfeit us the game. If you stay and let Potter catch that Snitch so it’ll be over quicker, I will personally make sure that this is your last year on the team. You’re going to win this for us.”

“Mr. Malfoy!” McGonagall called up to him, waving her arms hastily. “She needs to go to the infirmary, immediately!”

The two Slytherins were staring each other down aggressively as Draco contemplated the threat he was just given. There was nothing more he wanted to do than to throw a hex at Flint and leave with you, but he just swallowed thickly and nodded at him before descending towards the ground and letting you off carefully into the hands of Madam Pomfrey. A surge of fear ran through his body when he finally saw you clearly; a harsh red mark was making its way up to your neck, the corner of your bottom lip had split and doubled in size, there was a small scratch on your cheekbone. It made him feel queasy, but he tore his eyes away from you and hopped back onto his broom while glaring angrily at Marcus and the distant group of huddled Gryffindor’s. 

He was blinded in rage when the match resumed and even more enraged when Flint had cheered loudly when the announcer granted Slytherin a penalty for the injury Rees gave you, allowing them basically to get a free score in against Gryffindor. Draco let his eyes wander around for the snitch for the first time that day and he could hear his heart thundering in his eardrums in distress as the rain continued to make his search worse. All he wanted was to get out of the game to check up on you, and then he'd come back to the stadium to throw his fists into Rees’ face with maybe a few hits in on Marcus.

Just as he was losing hope, he saw a flash of gold whiz past him with a loud buzzing that shocked him into alertness. He didn’t care that catching the snitch would win the game, or the cup, or give him all the glory, no - this was his ticket out. He dived towards it with his arm outstretched, hand thrashing around in the wind as he tried to eagerly catch it. In seconds, Harry was right beside him, bumping him with his shoulder to try and throw him off the path but Draco only pushed back harder. There was a flurry of shouting as everyone watched, the announcer was yelling into the mic about the seekers going head-to-head, bludgers were flying past him. 

It was pure chaos and urgency, Draco could feel the fluttering of its wings beneath his palm and when Harry pushed into him one more time, he felt the coldness of the Snitch get trapped into his enclosed hand, the vibration of its wings sending a current of relief up his arm that spread throughout his whole body as he soared up into the sky while brandishing it to the schools’ painfully watchful eyes.

“MALFOY HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH, WINNING SLYTHERIN THIS YEAR’S INTER-HOUSE QUIDDITCH CUP!”

Draco hurriedly made his way down to the field where the rest of his house was pooling into, celebrating proudly and calling out for him to praise, but when he landed on the ground and was met with half of the Gryffindor team including Rowan Rees - all his wrath came flooding back into him. 

Angelina, another Gryffindor Chaser, had nudged Rowan with her shoulder, pointing towards the Slytherin Prince that was stalking towards them.

“Malfoy,” Rees started bitterly, “sorry about the girlfriend, I was only trying to knock the quaffle out her hands.”

“After she had already thrown it?” He glowered, walking closer up to the boy that was beginning to straighten himself out and flex. “Looked a little personal seeing how she was dragging you through the dust the whole game.”

“Accidents happen, mate,” Rees shrugged, “it’s only quidditch, you won didn’t you? Maybe you should be thanking me for giving you that extra push to win the game.”

A clear line had been crossed and everyone who was listening knew it. But before Rowan could say anything to try and drag himself out of the hole he had just dug himself into, he was being tackled into the ground with Draco above him throwing punches wherever he could land them. There was loud hooting and laughing coming from the Slytherins that gathered around the fight, cheering loudly for their House superior.

Rees was thrashing around on the ground, trying frantically to throw off the extremely infuriated boy that was repeatedly pounding into his face with bloodied and bruised fists. Oliver Wood ran up to the sudden brawl, Fred and George following closely behind him as they all started trying to rip the fighting boy’s apart from each other. Oliver had gotten Draco off briefly, allowing Rees to try and get a hit in but it was dodged at the last second as the blond quickly leaped up to his feet. The fight immediately ended when a muddy shoe had collided with Rowan’s jaw and Draco stepped back satisfied with the damage he had done, roughly shrugging off the grip Oliver still had on his arm.

“It’s only quidditch, right?” He spat venomously from above the Gryffindor who was holding his now battered face in pain. “That’ll teach you from putting your hands on a woman too.”

“Mr. Malfoy!” Madam Hooch bellowed as she broke through the crowd in a frenzy. “50 points from Slytherin, go wait outside Professor Snape’s office for further punishment, go right now!”

Draco did go, and instantly, but he didn’t go down to the dungeons to hear about the lengthy detention that he knew he was going to get and the scolding for being reckless and stupid. His feet carried his sore body up the many stairs that led to the hospital wing, his pace picking up swiftly when he saw the large double doors of the infirmary ajar and he was able to hear a faint and familiar voice speaking indistinctly. 

He threw open the doors, walking straight in as if he owned the place and ignored Pomfrey’s requests for him to leave as he made a beeline towards your hunched figure that was facing away from him. 

“I need to see her,” he said to the nurse quickly when she stopped in front of him. “I’ll leave soon, please.”

At the sound of his voice, you hastily turned around in your spot to face him, a yelp escaping your lips for moving too quickly through your injuries. Pomfrey stepped out of the way with a sigh allowing Draco to jog over to you.

“I’m going to kill him,” he scowled when he reached you. You were wearing a sling, a deep purple and yellowed bruise quickly set itself over the side of your arm and the same cuts he saw from earlier were still scattered over your features. His fingers ghosted over your skin and he let out a deep shaky exhale of anxiousness before moving his thumb up to graze your cheek tenderly.

“What happened to you?” You asked quietly in shock when you noticed his mud-splattered clothes and tattered fists. 

“Long story,” he drawled. “Don’t worry about me, are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” you muttered with a slight shrug that made you whimper lightly. “Did we win?”

He nodded quietly, his eyes still scanning sadly over your face with a frown. “I swear, I’m going to kill him.”

“Only if I can help,” you sniggered faintly, trying to make light of the situation and succeeding in doing so when you saw he had cracked a small smile. With his hand still on your cheek, he bent down to press a firm kiss on the top of your hair and then warmly on the side of your mouth that wasn’t bleeding.

“I’ll just let you finish him off then,” he mulled amusingly when he pulled away.

“Finish him off?”

The doors of the hospital wing were thrown open again, a sea of red flowing inside as they carried in a pummeled Rowan with a busted lip, bloodied nose, black eye, and deeply bruised jaw. You looked briskly between Rees and Draco, both of them staring daggers at each other and it rapidly clicked in your mind why your boyfriend had looked like he just walked through a battlefield in your absence.

“Oh.”

[cursestothemoon]

Hi Charly! Could you do a headcannon about Fred and his virgin girlfriend having sex for the first time? But she’s feeling self conscious because he’s more experienced and she’s worried about not being as good as his past partners not me projecting or anything 🙃

as a virgin who cant drive this request really resonates with me

welcome to the fred show pew pew

ill stop.

17+ IF YOU ARE TAGGED AND DON’T WANT TO BE TAGGED IN SMUT PLEASE LET ME KNOW

warnings:NSFW, vaginal penetration, loss of virginity, fingering

ok so

first i wanna get into fred before you came around

his sex life specifically

i think fred likes to have fun

nothing wrong with that

so yeah he's been around the block

a few times

so he knows what he's doing when it comes to sex

he takes pride in how good he is honestly

but i also think his first time wasn't all that

he probably lost his virginity rather young

14 maybe 15

the girl was 16 maybe 17

and he kind of pressured himself to lose his virginity after hearing his amazingly cool older brothers talking about 'this bird i shagged...'

it was bill

and fred loves bill

idolizes bill

so in his efforts to be just like him he had to lose his virginity

which he did

but he was beyond nervous and fidgety

he's almost certain the girl felt so bad she lied and said she finished when really he was in there for two minutes TOPS

but he got better over time

also he made sure that the person he was with finished first because he's still a little embarrassed abut that first time

george is the only person who knows about his first time, he didn't want anyone else to know

ESPECIALLY bill

anyway

so by the time you guys start dating fred is very experienced in the bedroom

you are not

you are a virgin

thats ok

😌

i feel like fred would just assume your not a virgin if you didn't tell him otherwise

because 1) you are drop dead gorgeous and could get it literally any time you wanted

and 2) he just assumes everyone does it unless told otherwise

you would be talking one day and somehow your first times would come up and fred would go beet red and admit how terrible it was for him

and then you'd kinda just 🙂

because you don't have a first time story

fred would not catch on at first

he would be very confused

then you'd go pink and come out with it

"...i'm a virgin, freddie."

he was honestly surprised

but once he noticed how genuinely uncomfortable you were admitting it, like it was something bad

he'd go into protective, comforting freddie mode

would go above and beyond to tell you that it wasn't a bad thing at ALL and he wishes he would've waited

and then he goes

"now that i know, i'm going to make sure your first time is amazing, love."

then he'd kinda just pause and go red again as he thought about what he said

"i mean, assuming you'd want your first time to be with me. totally cool if not, but i reckon that would be rather odd considering we are dating... unless you are breaking up with me...wait don't break up with me."

you'd just giggle and pull him into a kiss

"i want my first time to be with you, only you."

"i am so glad we are on the same page."

ok fred would go ALL OUT to make sure your first time was amazing

unforgettable

and you ARE finishing.

it would be over summer

you're staying at the burrow for the next month

and fred has it all planned out

you had told him you were ready a few weeks ago and he told you he wanted to surprise you for your first time

so you've just been waiting

he'd set up a cute little tent in the meadows of the burrow

string up some lights in the trees

plethora of blankets and pillows in said tent

wait i forgot their tents are like huge inside

aW WAIT IT WOULD BE LIKE A WHOLE CUTE LITTLE ROOM

STOP🥺

anyway

he'd have some food

some water

many condoms

he's so excited

oK so the sun would just be setting

and fred says he has something to show you outside

he also knows with a full house no one is going to come looking for you two, but just in case george knows the plan and is there for damage control just in case

so you go out with fred and hes practically skipping and hes all giggly

and you are starting to feel his giddiness so you guys are just this giggly mess together

then he gets to the spot

the sex tent

and it's beautiful

you are blown away

and he is just so happy seeing you happy

so you guys eat a little

talk

have some fun

he will feed you food to be romantic

you will get a grape dropped down your shirt

fun times all around

and then your eyes kinda lock

and his are all crinkly from laughing

his freckles just a bit more prominent in the summer season

you are suddenly hit with this intense feeling of love

how much you are in love with him

how much he's in love with you

and you're sure you've never been more ready than you are right now

fred is feeling floaty

you are looking at him with this look in your

and it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy

he'd reach out to cup your cheek, his thumb gently running across your cheek bone

then he'd pull you closer and rest his forehead against yours

your nose would brush and he'd run the tip of his nose along your nose before placing a kiss on it 🥺

you push forward and capture his lips in a kiss

and its on.

he pulls you into his lap

you guys are in heavy a make out

his hands are on your ass

your hands are in his hair

then he pushes you closer with his hands on your butt

the feeling of his hardening cock in his trousers against your clothed clit has you shuddering because jesus christ almighty

you've never felt anything like that before

you whimper into his mouth and fred is sure he's died and gone to heaven

so he does it again

after a few more times youre moving your hips on your own accord

you'd never admit to him that you'd fantasized about this very moment

in this very position

but instead of him it was a pillow you were grinding against

anyway

you guys moved to the bed in the tent

fred pulls away and he's holding your face in his hands so gently and looking at you with so much love

"I need to know that you are completely certain that you want this. I need you to be absolutely sure, love."

"I want this. I want you."

there was no hesitation in your voice

so he'd slowly take off both your clothes making sure that at any given moment he's got more off then you to make sure you never feel uncomfortable or embarrassed

so like if you've got your shirt off, fred has his off two and is working on his pants THEN he'd move your pants

now you are in your bra and underwear

he's in his briefs

and he can't help but take you all in

your skin

your curves

each dip and line

everything about you is just so beautiful

and he's just barely touching you as he's dragging the back of his fingers down from your neck to your belly button just watching as your skin erupts in goosebumps

he's never seen anything so beautiful

i think it was in that moment that he knew, no matter what, he would always be in love with you

all of you

he looks for your approval before reaching behind you and unhooking your bra

when your bra comes off thats when you get the butterflies in your belly

and lets be honest

on the inside

fred's a mess

like he might get choked up

regardless

the tiddies are out

fred leans down and starts to place slow, loving, kisses across the skin of your chest and in the crook of your neck before trailing them down to your breasts

you let out a shaky breath as he takes your pebbled nipple into his mouth

his hand moving to tease the other one

he's sucking and licking the sensitive nub making you breathless

then he'd drag his tongue down to your belly button then just below it before sucking a hickey onto your hip

he'd KISS IT AFTERWARDS TOO 🥺

he'd look up at you silently asking if you were ok and if he could remove your panties

you nod

youre nervous and excited and just ready

so he pulls off your underwear

and suddenly you feel very naked

but you also feel more comfortable than you ever thought you would

because it's fred

and he's your best friend

and he's just so

comforting

and you'd trust him with your life

so its a positive experience

his brings his thumb to rub gently circles on your clit before running two fingers up your slit to collect your juices

you let out a breathy moan as he slides a single digit into your entrance

his head is resting on your thigh placing sweet kisses on the skin as he adds in a second finger

his other arm is hooked around the thigh that his head is resting against, with his hand falling just close enough to your cunt that he can rub slowly, tight circles on your clit

you cum pretty quickly from fred's intense, intimate fingering

and he makes sure to make a show of putting his fingers in his mouth moaning at the taste of your release

he moves up to your lips, pulling you into a kiss

and you can taste yourself on his tongue

and there is something so erotic about it

that has your pussy clenching

ok so he pulls off his boxers and you audibly gulp

he's

l a r g e

and he notices your apprehension

he doesn't want to lie and say its not going to hurt

because in all honesty it might hurt

fred presses a calming kiss to your forehead as he lines himself up with your entrance

"im going to go slow, alright. if at you want me to stop tell me, ok, bunny?"

"ok, i might be bad at this."

"never"

aND HE'D SAY IT WITH SUCH A SWEET SMILE AND THIS LOVING TONE

BECAUSE YOU COULD NEVER BE BAD AT ANYTHING EVER IN FRED'S EYES

ESPECIALLY THIS

BECAUSE HE THINKS YOU ARE LITERALLY PERFECT

AND HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH

anyway

it does hurt a bit

its uncomfortable

you do get a little teary because of the dull burn of the stretch

and fred's heart aches seeing the way your face screws up in discomfort

but after a few minutes

and a few kisses from fred

youre ready for him to start moving

he starts off slow

the pain is starting to dissipate

and it begins to feel really good

like really good

i forgot to mention it earlier but fred IS wearing a condom

back to the story

so pretty soon you guys are enjoying yourselves

fred is kissing on your neck and lips

youre tugging on his hair and letting out breathy moans and whimpers into his ear

you cum a second time before fred spills into the condom

he slowly pulls out

and the feeling of emptiness after he does so is your new least favorite feeling

you are just craving to be near him, to be impossibly close

he pulls you into his side and starts peppering kisses along your hairline

and his fingers are running up and down your back

and hes just holding you so tight

stop🥺

"i love you, bug."

"love y'too, freddie."

your slurred words made it lear to him that you were starting to fall asleep

you guys would have to wake up super early the next morning and sneak back into the house

and you'd both be super giggly and cuddly and just hanging off each other

fred wouldn't want to let you go and would pull you back into him every time you tried to leave and go into ginny's room (where you were staying)

aW then for the next few days you guys just cant keep your hands off each other

and you both are so in love

sHUT UP I LOVE FRED WEASLEY

tags:

@siriusement

@amourtentiaa

@lifeofkaze

@theorangedrummer

@erinruby003

@famdomhideout

@an2402lths

@escapingrealitybyreading

@readyg0erge

@maybesandohnos

@therealhouseelvesofhogwarts

@onlyfreds

[toshigimmemilk]

genre: ANGST w/ a lil comfort (clues towards that reader will get better with love and time)

warning: 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡, 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐲𝐜𝐥𝐞, 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐨𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠.

characters: !timeskip iwaizumi x !gn reader (past)

!timeskip osamu miya x !gn reader (present)

ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: ghostin by ariana grande ───────────────⚪────────────── ◄◄⠀▐▐ ⠀►► 1:17 / 3:48 ⠀ ───○ 🔊 ɴᴇxᴛ ᴜᴘ: dancing with your ghost by sasha alex sloan - a/n: i hope u guys like this. this was originally supposed to be ushijima instead of iwa. anyways im trying to better my writing so pls lmk what y’all thinking. sorry for the bad writing.

is it fair that you should feel like this, especially at night while lying next to your current lover thinking of a figure of your past, someone you loved so long ago? the tear soaked pillow that muffled each sob would disagree.

iwaizumi hajime was it for you. he was the one you’d been waiting for but some would say, right person wrong time, and boy were they right.

you hate thinking about that night. the night he left you so suddenly, cold and alone and each night you cried, you cried enough to fill olympic sized pools. you wish he had left you for someone else, that would be better than whatever this is, you thought. iwaizumi had left you to get food when the crash happened. it’s all my fault you thought, i should’ve just went to sleep hungry. the trip to the hospital was a blur and all those night spent in the hospital pleading to the celestial beings up above to save the love of your life who was now clinging to life with bare chances of opening his eyes again.

the fateful incident would end up being devastating for you both. a lively household once filled with love and laughter turned into a prison cell where only quiet sobs were the only thing that rang through the house.

the funeral was a haze. soft cries and whispers of sorry’s that meant nothing to you. it won’t bring him back.

every moment and every item reminded you of him. you hadn’t slept in his part of the bed, his reminder from that night still left in the bed, ruffled bedsheets, a used towel on the nightstand and a pillow that smelled like him. you hadn’t even dared to go near that side, too afraid that if you touched that too, it will also leave you.

too afraid to open his closet and see his clothes, his jersey, and his shoes. how cruel, you thought. how cruel was it that you have to be reminded of him constantly and your body and mind didn’t want to do anything to change that.

too afraid to move on and too afraid that he might be sad that you’re moved on from him and his love. it’s what he would want, he would want you to be happy, that’s what they all said but was that really true? you told yourself that there was no one else for you, only hajime. you were so accustomed to his love and now that it’s gone, were you even capable of loving someone else, someone that’s not him? the idea seemed impossible to you.

that fact couldn’t be more true, even years later as you laid in bed with another but still thinking of your former lover. nights seemed to be the hardest, it always is. all those hidden feelings and emotions always seem to pour out at night.

there was nothing you could do to stop the tears, sobbing quietly as you grazed your fingers over the face of the man that laid next to you. his face relaxed as he slept but it felt cruel to torture him like that, it wasn’t fair of him to carry a burden like this and shifting your body to face the other side you couldn’t help but cover your mouth as another sob escape your lips.

osamu miya was a force to be reckoned with. he loved you so hard and proud that the guilt in your heart only increased thinking about it. he’s done so much to fix you, carrying your baggage as if it was his own and helped you so much when he didn’t have to.

you met osamu while running errands, earlier that day, feeling too depressed to even get out of bed you’d finally decided that you should get your life back on track. deciding to go get some groceries to finally start making meals for one, crying some more at the thought that there will be no more shared breakfasts, no more staying cuddled in bed and rush hour in the house but just you and your loneliness.

osamu had accidentally bumped into you causing you to drop your oranges all over the floor, the sight causing your lips to wobble and he took note of this as soon as he looked at your face. “hey hey it’s okay. ‘m sorry. didn’t see ya”. you sighed, just what i needed you thought. you excused yourself from him but chasing you down he convinced you to come and eat at his restaurant, onigri miya but much to your reluctance, he still dragged you there.

from then on, osamu would try to invite you to come to his restaurant. you bumped into him frequently and soon you started to become friends but it was still hard for you to go out there and socialize after what you had been through.

osamu was there. he was there on your worst days. he was there when you told him, how you lost a half of you to date, he was there at nights to hold you while you cried. he was there to wipe your tears away. he was there. he fed you on days when you were struggling. he cleaned you up on days when you couldn’t get out of bed. he sat you down next to the tub and washed your hair. he was there.

you soon started to open your heart to him but you were still afraid to take that small leap, afraid that if you jumped and there was no safety net, who was going to catch you?

he told you about himself, much more than you had ever known and heard about him through his brother. he was funny, kind, very caring and he was just perfectly himself.

you should be moved on by now, osamu thought as he watched you turn over and hearing you muffled sobs. every night he’d pretend to sleep so you wouldn’t feel embarrassed to cry and each night he wanted to reach out and hold you but something in him held him back. he just let you let it all out.

he knows that you know about him knowing how you cry at night. he knows that you wish that iwaizumi was here in his place, and after everything that you both had been through there was so much he wanted to do with you, so much love he wanted to give you and so many things he wanted to show you.

you were so grateful for osamu. he’s been so good to you, so understanding about you and you were guilty and afraid that you were putting him through so much than he signed up for. you knew how much osamu’s heart would break everytime he heard you cry and you wished that he would admit how much it hurts him and how much pain it’s causing him too.

osamu knew you hated yourself so much for putting him through all this trouble but he was okay with waiting. he will be there for you as long as you need him even if you cried for a man that no longer exists in your own shared bed.

he knows that he will be there for you no matter how long it will take, a little bit of baggage is nothing for him compared to how much he truly loves you.

ending notes: this wasn’t that good ik. i promise i’ll get better. also i used the lyrics and references. pls those two songs has me so depressed on bag nights. anyways love y’all 💗

[kuroos-moon]

E-girl S/o 

☾ pairings: ushijima x reader, oikawa x reader, kuroo x reader 

☾ request: headcanons for Ushijima, Oikawa and Kuroo reacting to or being interested in/dating a girl that is kinda goth/e-girl/edgy? Like they wear a lot of black, like scary movies and video games, have a very sarcastic personality?

☾ warning/s: none

☾ a/note: not rlly sure if i did e-girls justice on this one im sorry 

Ushijima Wakatoshi 

• Doesn’t get the “oh, I didn’t expect girls like y/n are your type” 

• Like?? Uhm, wdym it’s self-explanatory you’re just so eye-catching 

• Yes, you caught the Ushiwaka’s eye 

• You’re not dating or anything, let alone have started a conversation 

• But there’s an impressive number of people who know he likes you a lot

• Wakatoshi’s blunt and genuinely honest for most times if not all of his life 

• “You like anyone?” “Yes.” “Really? Is it that cute girl from your cl-

• “Y/n L/n.”  

• Knows how much you love black bc it’s not rlly hard to miss, you wear it on you every chance you get

• And now you’ve cursed him with remembering you every time he sees the color 

• You heard of the rumors that one of the nation’s top three aces likes you and you don’t believe them ofc 

• Not that you don’t know you’re pretty, you love your reflection but you just reckon you’re not his type yk? 

• He’s more of an admire and fall for you more from afar type of dude

• Totally stops and stare when you walk in the gym wearing a short black skirt and a black top, with boots and chains and all 

• Doesn’t know a thing about fashion but damn, you’re so hot?? 

• Cannot hear even his own coach

• Hopes you’re not going on a date 

• “Geez, y/n, is it someone’s funeral?” “Ah, Satori-chan, why are you even out of your cascket?” 

• Kinda thinks you’re mean bc you’re sarcastic and his humor rlly isn’t up to your level lmao sorry but he wants to know what’s it like to actually talk to you 

• So he does, once he bumps into you on his way out of the gym and you just awkwardly stare at each other 

• “I like your style. Your outfit.” He says, and he is not even shy on the outside at least

• “uh thanks?” you just kinda smile at him bc ydk what youre supposed to do this is wakafreakingtoshi we’re talkin bout 

• “you like black a lot.” “yeah, I do, what of it?” 

• “you really look good in it. You own the color,” he says that like it’s no big deal before he walks away 

• You totally crush on him after that encounter 

• Basically, he doesn’t have a type. he cannot distinguish cute girls, e-girls, or any ‘type’ of girls

• What he could so naturally distinguish though, is you—his lovely darling in black—and the rest of the female population he couldn’t care less for 

Oikawa Tōru 

• You’re his most treasured babygirl and no he doesn’t take any criticism 

• Your taste in fashion? 💯/💯

• Is maybe a tad bit too in love with your pretty boy and e-girl dynamic in pics bc his Instagram is flooded with them 

• Hypes you up in your socials, in his, and in real life 

• Goes for captions like: “choke me like you hate me, y/n-chan” and “step on me and I’ll apologize instead” 

• He’s so cheesy but you love it :>

• Lets you pick out his clothes once in a while though you have different tastes and preferences 

• You return the favor too sometimes and it’s not even a compromise on either of your parts 

• You just have fun with your own things and you’re having fun in trying out things the other likes too yk? 

• One thing that shortens his lifespan is when you watch horror movies together 

• HOW ARE YOU NOT SCARED? Loves spending nights like this with you nonetheless though

• “y/n-chan is the ghost gone?” “yup, you could open your eyes now.” “thank g- hey!” 

• Is the rare male teenager who’s kinda knowledgeable in make-up products bc of u

• He knows what kind of eyeliner you use and if he sees something kinda cool when he’s out, he’ll buy it for you

• Or tell you about it: “y/n-chan do you know this eyeliner called ***? I don’t know if it was the lady’s sales talk but I think you’ll like it”—wholesome and thoughtful

• Flexes you a lot and will not tolerate all the “Tōru and y/n don’t really look good together” 

• “Right? She just doesn’t complement him right.”

• He’s childish and more so when agitated, not even Iwaizumi could hold him back

• “Oh yeah? THEN LOOK AT MY FABULOUS NAILS” flexes all ten of his fingers which you painted black just last night on your bedroom floor 

• You just flip your hair in their direction and drag Toru away bc you’re too unbothered <33 

• “y/n-chan back me up here, you have the bitchiest attitude towards me so let’s work together and unleash our sass on them so they shut up, okay?” 

• It’s really rare for him to be that way with his fans but he’s the numero uno y/n-stanner ofc he won’t take that crap 

• “your makeup and taste in clothes aren’t even half as good as y/n’s.” sticks his tongue out ✨maturely✨

• Hates when he has to play Karasuno bc you once mentioned you could imagine Tobio having the same aesthetic as you 

• You also might’ve jokingly told him that “Toru I should’ve gotten a boyfriend from Karasuno, it’d be cool to tie their jacket around my waist and cheer for him at the same time.” 

• Was so mad at you about it and refused to talk to you for days because he’s just so not childish at all 

• “Ugh, why don’t they just change their team color to pure orange. Chibi-chan domination.” 

Kuroo Tetsuro

• Already took an interest in you from what he observes is an interestingly snarky character 

• Has been seeing you in only your uniform at first though but then he finds himself thinking a bit too much about you one night

• Stalks your Instagram <33 

• Jaw drops, heart beats a tad bit faster, his yearning grows 

• You’re so pretty. So good in black. Your poses? The whole vibe of your feed? He doesn’t know what to do with his admiration you’re just so freaking meant for him

• He gets it’s not the usual style for most girls in school, and tbh he didn’t know he’d like it so much, he just does now

• Knows there was no saving him once he starts imagining scenarios about you before he goes to bed

• This dork starts to know more things about you—it’s really cool that you play the same games as him 

• Is up to date on your posts, your ig story, and your tweets but why in the world are you still not in bed at 3 in the morning? 

• You just love gaming, huh? Should he start a conversation with you about it? He played that often too with Kenma

• He just can’t seem to though bc he’s nervous and lowkey intimidated 

• Once witnessed you jokingly exchange snarky comments with your friends and you even flipped them off 

• It’s settled then, he’ll graduate without talking to you sad kuroo noises 

• You once posted a pic flexing your matte black nails on a weekend and when the weekday came, he was so excited to see them in person 

• But your nails are no longer painted, and he was so disappointed bc they looked rlly attractive to him 

• Voices out his thoughts mindlessly. “You removed your nail polish.” 

• Everyone—including you—is surprised. Your desks aren’t even next to each other but his body was facing you 

• Cringes internally once he realizes he had said it but is so surprised when you smile at him. 

• “It’s not allowed in school, it’s a shame, you think they were pretty too, right?” 

• He cannot function, he totally did not prepare for this—and to think he had so many nights imagining different scenarios about you. 

• He was rlly popular and you thought you acted too confident; you just curse yourself for it. “Oh, uh sorry I thought you saw my post.” 

• You look away, embarrassed. “Yeah,” he chuckles a bit. You cringe. 

• “Black really suits you, and your nails were pretty, wish I could’ve seen them today, that’s all.”

• And who would’ve thought your relationship would bloom since then 

• All because he’s so interested and mesmerized with everything about you <3 

General Taglist [Open]: @noyasbitchh @dinablossom @haru-the-secret @strayczennies @lalisbitch @tinymidgetsstuff @animebs @astrealia @kittykitkatstrawberry @hajimesbbygrl @kellesvt @24hr7dysdizzy @arnxldss @elianetsantana @vicassa @floraraine @beanst0ck @leinnah @kageyamasgirl @deafeningart @minibobabottle   @franko-pop @moonlightaangel @throughtheinterstices @micasaessakusa @dixonsbugaboo @thevillagehiddenintheinternet @ultzuko

[hndcrm]

47 and Diana are in the safehouse in Berlin. As night falls 47, plagued by his newfound memories, can't sleep. He wanders through the house and discovers Diana snores and talkes in her sleep. What will he do about it?!😏

I have made this so much angstier than the prompt calls for im so sorry my brain only provides pain apparently

--

He was glad to have his memories back. There was no denying it. It was liberating to know the events of his life in order, to have them fade back into something understandable as opposed to the blank, cryptic void from before. Some were better than others, memories of his and subject 6’s friendship, of the rare times he’d been able to sneak away with his bunny before its untimely and cruel murder.

Despite this, the memories were overwhelmingly bad, and none quite as pervasive and frightening as the car bomb in 1989.

He was the one to trigger it. It was a mission like any other at the time, he hadn’t thought much of it. Simple. Two targets, Peter and Nancy Burnwood, their daughter considered acceptable collateral damage. In the end, there was no collateral damage and perhaps that’s the only comfort he takes from the memory, that he didn’t kill her, that he was lucky enough to have her alive today. It’s not comforting because he knows she will leave him as soon as she finds out. He can’t blame her. He’s the one responsible for her involvement in everything bad in their world. He killed her parents, changed her life forever, ruined it without a second thought at the time. He recalls with tears in his eyes how she was there, how she was present when he set it off, that this innocent child had to witness the violent death of her parents. He’s hurt Diana irreversibly and she will hate him forever if she finds out.

Even throughout his career with her, he often pondered morality and his own goodness. Diana became his conscience and urged in private that he wasn’t evil, promised him that he was worthy of kindness and love. He wasn’t sure even then how much he believed her. He trusted her, however, so he did not question the assertions.

He knows she was wrong now. She deserves to know the truth, but it would result in her disappearing from his life, and he’s sure he would die without her.

And now, he cannot sleep. He stares out of the window in the living room and watches the night sky, silently bets on how long it will be before he turns to alcohol for comfort.

There are soft snores coming from Diana’s bedroom. He gulps. The door is tilted open.

The scene before him is like some practical test of his character and self-control. He could come in and watch her sleep, just for a few moments. It wouldn’t disturb her and she would never know, and he could memorise the details of her face, add to his mental depiction of her before she leaves him, imagine what it could be like to hold her like this if they could ever be this intimate together. He could pretend to be one of the few lucky men who have been able to truly witness this, to be able to say they’ve had the pleasure of sleeping next to Diana Burnwood herself.

Or he could do the right thing and close the door, minding his own business as a professional work colleague should, though even that description is generous towards him after what he’s done. He is evil.

Diana says he is good, but he knows she’s wrong. If he were good he wouldn’t want to come in and see her right now.

It’s late and he cannot sleep, he thinks the guilt will swallow him whole if he does not distract himself. He deserves nothing to do with her, deserves to die by her hands a million times over and rot in the deepest circle of hell, but now, watching her silently while she sleeps does not seem so sinful in comparison to the pain he has caused her.

He pushes the door open enough to slide inside and tilts it closed.

The moonlight peeking from behind the curtain streaks across her ribs and reminds him of a bullet that he was responsible for. He feels sick. She deserves so much better.

She’s tangled in the sheets, hair flamed out around her face, and instantly there’s an urge to run his hands through it, to move it off her cheek and behind her ear.

She looks delicate. He knows better than to think so improperly of her, ‘delicate’ is an insult when she is a force to be reckoned with and could kill a man with her sharp-tongued nature alone, but there is no denying the more physical aspects of her beauty when she’s sprawled out so ravishingly. Her upper lip is carved down carefully, brows furrowed slightly, bosom caressed by her silk nightgown and her hands elegantly tangled in the sheets, like a scene from an ancient erotic painting, beauty that could only be appropriately captured by a lover.

She stirs then, and he holds his breath, terrified that he’s awoken her with his selfishness.

She hums something incomprehensible, and the thought that she might sleeptalk scares him. He should leave. Diana trusts him, she does not hide from him. If what she dreams of is something he already knows, there’s no use invading her privacy. If what she dreams of is something he is not aware of, then he should stay clueless, respect her choice to keep it from him and leave, pretending he was never here.

He decides to do the right thing. He pads towards the door.

He’s stopped in his tracks when he hears her moan his name. He can feel his face heating up. He’s evil for having ever come here in the first place. How can he disrespect her so cruelly?

Curiosity turns him around, as he tries to picture the shape her mouth might take when she moans his name, but there is little left to the imagination when she does it again, quieter, and the sight is somehow more erotic and vulgar than anything he’s ever seen, he feels his trousers tightening.

He knows she doesn’t really want him like this. Dreams don’t reflect reality. Perhaps she thought of him crudely once, and he was lucky enough to catch it, but it was a one-off because she must know she deserves better than him.

He’d be more than willing to play out her dreams in reality. He couldn’t, of course, bring himself to ever actually do it. Their shared intimacy exists purely as a fantasy in both of their imaginations.

He’s grateful for his trained stillness as he’s about to leave again, determined that he’s long crossed a line. He must go if he ever wants Diana to think of him neutrally, at least. If she wakes up to see him standing before her so improperly she’ll know of his vile nature before he reveals it.

As he’s something like a metre away from the door, he sees a frustrated Olivia rub her eyes and grumble ‘fucking Burnwood’, then she slams the door in front of him before he can escape and he panics as he’s stuck in a deeply compromising position. The door is too squeaky to risk opening again, but it’s too late, for when he turns around to look at Diana, she’s awake, rubbing her eyes and squinting in the dark. He prays she doesn’t see him.

“47? Is that you?” She calls out, and he freezes. He could still leave. She would know he was here, but it would save him the embarrassing conversation until the morning at least, or maybe, hopefully, she’d forget. “What are you doing here?” She sits up in bed, a strap of her nightgown falling down her arm. The usual excuses for trespassing won’t cut it. I got lost, he thinks sourly.

“I couldn’t sleep.” He starts. How much of the truth should he reveal? Lying to her feels wrong, he knows she knows him too well for it. “I heard you talking, I thought maybe something was wrong.”

“Oh.” Now she turns red. “Well, I’m quite alright.” She tucks her hair behind her ear. He nods dumbly.

“Good.”

“And 47,” she adds then. “What did you hear?” She does a good job of playing off her voice crack, but he can sense the fear in her voice - fear he is responsible for. Why wouldn’t she fear him when he disrespects her like this?

“It was nothing - I didn’t understand anything.” He lies. He must lie to make her feel better. He shouldn’t have come in in the first place. She plays with the strap of her nightgown. He wants to leave but she looks so worried. Guilt greets him again.

“You’ve been avoiding me lately.” She says finally, chest rising in the familiar pattern she uses to calm herself down. “Is everything alright?”

I yearn for you, he thinks. It’s true. The thought tastes disgusting on his tongue.

“The serum. The memories-” he begins, but the following words don’t come. He doesn’t know how to tell her the truth. He doesn’t want to. She furrows her brows together and looks sadly at him.

“Oh. I’m so sorry.” Diana gives him a lopsided smile. “If you want to talk about it-”

“No.” His voice sounds harsher than he intends. She cannot know.

He leaves. Another night is spent alone on the cold leather couch, thinking of her in the dark. Eventually, guilt takes over and he cannot bear to think of anything, so he opens a lager and drinks himself to sleep.

He wakes up to find himself covered by a blanket in the morning, and Diana sitting in an armchair next to him. He gulps.

“I’m sorry about last night,” she sighs. He shakes his head, mutters a protest, but the memories of his actions flooding back terrify him. He’s been awful.

He sits up. She hasn’t done anything wrong, and the shame painted across her face makes his insides twist with guilt. He doesn’t deserve to touch her, but all he can think of is comforting her, so he reaches out tentatively. Immediately she smiles at him and wraps her arms around him. It’s unfair how good it feels, how their bodies seem to fit so well together, and she’s innocently on his lap in his embrace, unaware of how many nights he’s spent fantasizing about this. He deserves none of it, he knows.

“I’m sorry, Diana.” He almost sulks into the warm skin revealed by her bateau neckline.

“Whatever for?” She whispers, and he aches again. He can’t tell her.

“I love you,” he whispers as the tears run down his cheeks and he wonders if she can feel them on her neck. It comes out instinctually, and he regrets it immediately. She doesn’t answer. He prays she won’t think anything of it. He’s pathetic. “I’m so sorry.”

They don’t speak of it again, and he spends every living second praying for her forgiveness, for when she eventually finds out.

When he knows she knows, it’s too late for him, and he’s glad she’s killed him. He spends his dying moments craning his neck up to ensure she’s his last dying image. He hopes Edwards will be kind to her.