#i want him to swim in vinegar and feel shame for it

[danmeichael]

for me, shizun mo ran cannot be normal about disciple chu wanning and i don't mean that in a lecherous naughty shizun way i mean that he will center his entire mentalemotional wellbeing on "saving" chu wanning

[catboy-lover-archive]

Obey Me Romanian MC

idea inspired by @/harunayuuka2060 (too shy to tag them)

Nu ştiu ce inspirație supraomenească m-a lovit dar am început asta la 2 dimineața și am terminat-o la 6.30

Im sleep deprived bc I stayed up all night doing this, enjoy gagicile mele

[added translations]

(under the cut bc this bitch is long af)

Lucifer: Are you not enjoying your meal?

MC: This food isn't even good. Next time I'm bringing my bunica to make you guys sarmale best thing you ever tried 👩‍🍳👌😘 mwah

-

MC: I'm not gonna go out with Satan, Beel, Asmo or Belphie.

Asmo: Awww

Beel: :(

Belphie: What?!

Satan: Why?

MC: Why date a guy who's favorite color is not in romanian flag? 🤔🇷🇴

-

Asmo: But I thought you could-

MC: For the last time IM NOT A VAMPIRE I CAN'T HYPNOTIZE PEOPLE OR MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME

-

Levi: Ohhh!!!! So are you like familiar with Castlevania-

MC: We don't talk about that *cries in disappointed*

-

Solomon: What is this weird potion.

MC: *puts bottle of țuică (plum brandy) on the table*

MC: This is not a potion, but a solution to all of your problems gagica 💖

-

MC: *talking to Lucifer* Oh iubire (love), stop crying over Diavolo again. Why cry over guy who would wear vagabond everyday in my country?

MC: Tsch tsch tsch

Lucifer: What the fuck is Vagabond

MC: Only the worst of streetwear existent. Only f-boys use it

Lucifer: Fair enough

-

Beel: Why do you want to try out for the sports team?

MC: Because Steaua, my country's team, disappointed me 😔

-

MC: Mammon! Asmo! Let me show you guys a thing called ✨manele✨

-

(after the Belphie incident)

MC: Does anybody have a belt.... a belt so I can...no reason...papuci de casă (slippers) works too

-

MC: Hey Belphie! Did you enjoy your punishment? 😜

Belphie: My butt still hurts...

MC: Next time it's the lingură de lemn ♡ (wooden spoon)

-

*MC dancing to Braşoveanca*

Mammon: W-what's that???

Satan: Some sort of ritual I suppose

Asmo: *joining in* It's fun!

MC: Doi✌paşi🦵înainte➡️şi😱doi😩înapoi⬅️ (two steps forward two steps back)

-

MC: Who has summoned me?

Satan: Belphie isn't feeling well and the medicine didn't really do it's job.

MC: Everyone watch closely because I'm going to teach you guys a sacred ritual called ✨Frecție cu Oțet✨

Satan: You're just pouring vinegar on his wrist.

MC: Now here comes the fun part. *maggages his wrists*

Belphie: Someone please kill me this is unbearable

MC: Am I allowed to say Tatăl Nostru (Lord's prayer) or is that too....uhhh weird since yall are demons and stuff-

-

Barbatos: MC...

MC: I'm sorry but crossing myself after I finish a meal is implemented in my brain. It's in the default settings.

Barbatos: What happens if you don't cross yourself?

MC: Lingura de lemn (wooden spoon) *shivers*

-

Diavolo: Do you like my castle?

MC: Baby, Peleş puts you to shame.

MC: Also, too much current (swift). Close the damn windows

-

Lucifer, giving up on life: Oh not again...

MC: DA PĂ CIMPOI DA PĂ CIMPOI JOACĂ FETELE LA NOI 👉👈😳

MC: Real music here 😌

-

MC: There, there gacica (girlfriend). Don't cry. *pats him on the back*

Lucifer: Do you got any more țuică...

MC: That's the spirit!

-

MC: I know I technically didn't die, but can we please have a funeral??? There is this really tasty cake just for this special occasion called colivă. Beel is okay with it so- hey don't ignore me! wait guys this is important- wAIT!

-

Satan: I hate Lucifer because he is my father.

Belphie: I hate Lucifer because he sucks in general.

MC: I hate Lucifer because Favorite color is red which is COMMUNISM COLOUR 😡‼

-

Solomon: See?? MC likes my cooking!

MC: Piftie...Caltaboş...

MC: Solomon, you would make a very good romanian housewife. Say, have you ever considered getting a 701st wife...?

-

Beel: *munching happily on the food MC makes*

Lucifer: *getting a fucking break*

MC: *making grătar(barbeque) cu mici*

MC: Everybody loves 1 Mai!

-

MC: Beelphiiieee!!!! I have a spell for you 😊

Belphie: Please not the lingură de lemn-

MC: *boop on the nose* ✨du-te dracu✨ (go to hell)

-

Lucifer: How did you make everyone behave?

MC: *looking at the papuc de casă in hand*

MC: You either die a hero...or live enough to become the villain...

Lucifer: Interesting, can you teach me?

MC: The secret is to use your wrist-

-

MC, whispering: Psst! Mammon! How's the sarmale trading going?

Mammon: Its okay, but why can't you just give me the recipe?

MC: E din moşi strămoşi (it's from older generations) I can't give it to you

-

MC: Hey pisi, want a ride in my Dacia?

Simeon: ...what? :)

MC: Come on gagica(girlfriend)! We are going to visit my family they will love you!

MC: You can also bring Luke. Just uhhh don't let him drink from the "juicebox" ok? It's not- It's not juice in there

MC: But you can drink. I won't tell anyone.

-

Diavolo: MC you can't leave yet. Not even for a quick visit back home.

MC: Auzi, da du-te-n p- (well why don't you fuck yourself on my dic-)

-

MC: *sigh* Sometimes I wish Satan was wearing Vagabond instead of...whatever that is

Asmo: Ouch, but yeah I guess we are that desperate.

Satan: I'm never tutoring any of you again.

-

MC and Luke, just vibing honestly: ⬇️Intră-n👇apa🌊mării🐚şi🐋nu🐟te🙄teme😱ai😳să-nveți🤯să-noți🐠printre🤔sirene🧜‍♀️🧜‍♂️

(go in the sea's water and don't you be afraid you'll learn to swim among mermaids)

-

MC: No Asmo, I have a date to the ball he's right here *points at țuică bottle*

-

Belphie: *misbehaving*

MC: Vai, vai, vai. Sărumâna Belphie 😃 ( well, well, well good day Belphie)

MC: *grabs the papuc (slipper)*

-

MC: NO LUCIFER IT CAN NOT BE AN AN NOU FERICIT (happy new year) IF WE DO NOT DANCE THE HORĂ

-

MC and Luke, vibing yet again: POVEȘTI DIN FOLCLORUL MAGHIAR!!! (maghiar folklore stories!)

-

MC: Where is my țuică? :)

Everyone: *quiet*

MC: I won't get mad :)

MC:

MC: Foaie verse de trifoi~ *papuc reappears* Dați băi țuica înapoi (green leaf of clover, give the țuică back you fucker)

Everybody: *runs*

MC: Mândruțelor (girls), come back until I'll put this to good use

-

Levi: *exists*

MC: *in love with him bc his fav color is in the Romanian flag and not in the commie flag*

MC: Te las să te lingi cu mime în parcare la lidl (I'll let you french kiss me in the Lidl market parking lot)

-

MC: Lucifer you don't understand!

MC: Sandu Ciorbă cured my depression!

-

MC: Muie cretinii pământului (fuck y'all stupid asses) my țuică is back and I'm not sharing anymore

-

Asmo: We're doing hot girl shit tonight

MC: Ne curvim rău (we're hoeing)

-

MC: futu-ți cristelnița mătii (fuck your mother's font) Simeon you're the one that drank all my țuică

MC: I'll let it slide this once, if u take me for shaorma(shawarma) in Piața Victoriei (Victoria's market)

-

Solomon: Whoops, I accidentally messed up the sarmale recipe

MC: Aşadar războiu alesu l-ai (So you have chosen war)

-

Mammon: MC, how do you say "I hate you" in romanian?

MC: Dar eu sunt mândru că sunt twink. (I'm proud to be a twink)

Mammon, clueless: ok thanks

-

MC, to Belphie: I had such a rough day, please fute-mi una (fuck me over) and not the way I like

-

Mammon: What would be a quick way to make money?

MC: Gagica(girlfriend), listen. Culegător de sparanghel (asparagus picker) in Spain is your go-to.

-

Asmo: *blasting manele vechi (old manele).2006*

Asmo: Please love me!

MC: *already in wedding attire*

-

MC: Beel! Here, try this! Yeah yeah its completely fine!

MC: ...what do you mean it looks like Solomon's cooking?

MC: THIS IS PIFTIE AND YOU WILL LEARN TO APPRECIATE IT

-

MC: *dragging them all by the hand to therapy*

MC: Păi aşa-i hora pe la noi măi bade- (This is hora to us well my mans)

-

MC, talking to Lucifer: Măi omu lu dumnezeu îți fut una de nu te vezi (listen God's man I'll fuck you over that you'll not see again) if u lay a finger on my țuică again

MC: I don't care that you have daddy issues, this is MINE now thank you very much.

-

MC: Doamne cu ce ți-am greşit? (God, what have I done to you?)

MC: tanti Lilith, ia-mă cu tine gagicuțo milf ce ești (Miss Lilith, take me with you you milf girlfriend)

MC: Chiar și culesul de căpșuni din Spania era mai ok dacât (even strawberry picking in Spain is better than) Therapist Simulator hell edition

-

Diavolo: *exists*

MC: Vrei să-ți fiu a ta mireasă? (Do you want me to be your wife?)

-

Simeon: *exists*

MC: Vrei să-ți fiu Ileană Cosânzeană? ( Want me to be your fairy wife?)

-

Belphie: Every time I doze off they say this weird phrase...

MC: Dormeo(mattress company) ! Noapte bună! (good night!)

-

MC: What do you mean im not allowed to have a cross around my neck?

MC: My dead grandmother would kill me it's Sfântu Andrei for fucks sake

MC: The law is law we gotta put garlic and salt everywhere around the house

MC: This is what you get from taking my țuică away AGAIN

-

MC: I mean, at least i dont have to take the bacalaureat and face the woman-hating-Ion-Creangă-fucking-twink-looking-nightmare-inducing Eminescu so

MC: *drinks a Mona Spirt (rubbing alcohol) bottle in one go*

MC: that works wonders for me

[tlbodine]

Hair

I’ve always had...baggage...about my hair. 

I was born bald as a cue-ball, a situation that took nearly a year to remedy before a fuzz of baby-fine curls installed themselves. There’s a curl from my first haircut in my baby book, and it’s the color of butter and finer than a spider web. 

By the time I was three, my hair was past my shoulders and coiled, bouncy gold ringlets that put Shirley Temple to shame. Strangers wanted to touch it, and often did, approaching me on the street and cooing in delight about what a pretty little girl I was and what wonderful hair I had. They called me Goldilocks and Rapunzel and sighed wistfully that they wished they could have hair like this. Sometimes they would run their fingers through it and say just how much they’d love to play with it; they’d say I was just like a real life Barbie doll, and how much fun must it be. 

By the time I was six, my hair was butt-length and still baby-fine. It was the color of fine gold chain and just as prone to tangling. Five minutes in the wind and it would be an unbearable snarl that would take hours to uncomb. 

We kept it braided most of the time, because there was no other way to tame it. Every morning my mother would unbraid my hair, and brush it, and it would be free for just a few minutes before going back into a braid. Curls always worked their way free of the braid, leaving a halo of frizz. 

On fancy occasions, we would braid it into a dozen cornrows that fell to the middle of my back and swung like a cat-o-nine-tails. I felt like Medusa, imagining the coils of snakes, and felt empowered and curiously afraid of myself. 

~*~ 

"I hope you’re not tender-headed,” they would say, and I would grimace and brace myself because it would not matter if I was. 

My mother would take me to salons sometimes. More strangers touching my hair, fussing over me, wielding combs and sprays and blow-dryers. All of them wanted to play with my hair. None of them knew quite how to handle it. Little blonde girls with curly hair to their knees, fine but dense, so thick that things could be taken up into it and consumed -- they thought they were prepared, but they never were. 

I never got a haircut. It would have been such a shame to cut such beautiful long hair. But a few times a year, we would book me for a shampoo and style, and they would detangle my hair. It would take three stylists. It would take three hours. 

By the end, it felt as though my scalp were bleeding. But I dared not say anything, because I understood that being tender-headed was a character flaw that i could not afford with the type of hair I had. 

~*~ 

My hair did not belong to me. 

It belonged to the stylists, who would loom close in my personal space and come up with ideas and suggestions. No one asked what I wanted, and I would not have known what to tell them even if they had because I had never had the opportunity to form those opinions. 

“It’s so long and curly and blonde!” Was the delighted, surprised refrain. “Let’s straighten it, and cut it, and what if we dyed it?” 

My hair belonged, too, to my mother, who spent so many hours with it, and grew so impatient with me when it would not behave. A day or two of neglect would lead to the creation of terrible, golf-ball-sized mats and snarls of hair. It would take hours to work through them. 

It got tangled from a swimming pool once, leading to hours of painful pulling and tugging and frustration. We were staying in a motel in another city where my father was traveling for work. There was a Toys R Us, and they’d promised I could go and pick something out for myself after we were finished making me look presentable. 

I snuck away to the bathroom and found scissors and cut away at a little bit of the impenetrable snarl of hair. I thought maybe if I just cut a little bit of it, the rest would come loose and the tangle would fall out and we could finally be done with it and I could get the toy I wanted. 

“You cut your hair!” My mother sounded horrified and accusatory. I had betrayed her deeply, done a thing that was unforgivable. We did not go to Toys R Us. I was grounded. I never cut my hair again. 

I was eight years old. 

~*~

I did cut my hair once before that. My mother always cut her bangs straight across her forehead, a classic look for the sort of long, gently wavy dark hair she wore. 

At three years old, I tried to do the same. I grabbed a fistful of hair and chopped. My hair curled and coiled like the top-knot of a poodle dog. 

My childhood photos are all of a chubby blonde wild child, hair in a messy unkempt braid, a mess of frizz sticking straight up at the top. 

My mother kept cutting my bangs that way for the next eight years as an implicit punishment for my transgression. Even now she tells me: “You did it to yourself.”

~*~ 

“If you ever cut your hair,” my mother told me once, when I was in college, “I’d want you to have it braided and cut off the whole braid and give it to me to keep. Then you could style the rest however you thought you wanted.” 

~*~ 

I grew up with a certain paranoia about something happening to my hair. I was admonished never to fall asleep while chewing gum or candy, lest it fall and tangle my hair (never mind the choking risk, that was not important). I was made paranoid about the prospect of boys behind me putting things in my hair or cutting it with scissors if I sat at a desk. This never happened, but I was warned against it many times. 

When I went to sleep-overs, my parents advised me to sleep with my braid pulled around to the side, to hold it like a teddy bear, so that no one would cut it in my sleep like in the Bible story about Samson and his beautiful long hair. 

~*~ 

By the end of high school, I had disengaged from my hair. 

It was no longer a part of me, or a thing that belonged to me. I shared a body with it, but I knew better than to touch it. There were rules in my house regarding my appearance and what I was and was not allowed to do with my body. I could not cut or dye my hair. I could not wear makeup. I could not paint my nails. I could not wear revealing clothing. I could not read Seventeen magazine. I could not perform femininity. 

I did not bother with trying to rebel against these limitations. I surrendered to them whole-heartedly. I wore jeans and shapeless t-shirts and tied my hair back in a ponytail and pretended it was not there until it grew so matted that I had to spend a day detangling it, and then the cycle would resume. 

Strangers stopped commenting on it. People stopped asking to touch it. 

~*~ 

In every photograph from my twenties, you cannot see my hair. 

A terrible irony: All your life, your most iconic asset becomes the one thing that no one ever sees. My hair itself had become like Rapunzel, locked away, too powerful to set loose. 

Every so often, I would let it down. Hours of preparation would go into it. It would look nice in photographs for an evening, and then it would return to its captivity. My hair was a wild animal that could not be trusted to run loose. 

~*~

In the shower, my hair becomes like razor wire, hard and sharp. I have scars on my fingers where the strands dig in, slicing down into the meat as I try to work out the knots and tangles. 

~*~ 

There is a difference between knowing what to do, and being able to do it. 

People will try to give you help, as if advice were the thing you were missing -- as if it were knowledge, and not ability, holding you back. It’s always well-meaning. It’s rarely helpful. 

Stop using shampoo. Stop using a brush. Use a comb. Blow it straight. Use a flattening iron. Detangle it wet. Only comb it when it’s dry. Use mousse. Use vinegar. Use coconut oil. Use this brand of shampoo. Conditioner, conditioner, conditioner. 

But you know. That’s the thing that no one ever realizes. Of course you know, because you have lived with this thing for all your life. 

The reason for your unhappiness is not, and has never been, because you don’t know what you’re doing. 

~*~ 

“I think I’m going to cut my hair.” 

I proposed the thought nervously, anxiously, the way you might confess to a crime that has been weighing heavily on your conscience. I had been up late the night before, imagining what it might be like, searching for images on my phone under the blankets in the 2-am darkness. 

“How short?” My husband asked, with signs of trepidation. 

I started to cry. And then I started to yell. I half-screamed, half-sobbed at him about hairdressers and a lifetime of baggage and fear and shame and bodily autonomy. 

And he held me and petted me and said, “Don’t worry about this. I’ll make the appointment. You can do whatever you want with it. I support you.”

I apologized for crying and he held me tighter and gently scoffed, almost incredulous. 

“Baby. You’re allowed to be angry. You’re allowed to feel things.” 

~*~ 

We went to Supercuts. 

It’s not a fancy salon, but I didn’t want a fancy salon. I did not want to be fussed over. That kind of pampering, invasive attention would send me running. 

I waited for my walk-in. I did not throw up. My stomach rolled around in my gut and I thought I might start crying again, but I didn’t. I read a Joe Hill novel in the waiting room, and again under the dryer while a heat treatment worked whatever detangling black magic it was supposed to do. 

My husband (ever the gossip) prepped his hairdresser for me. He warned her that I had a lot of baggage about getting my hair done. She didn’t understand, not really, but I don’t think maybe anyone could. But she got the gist of it. She knew well enough to leave me mostly alone.

I showed her pictures of what I wanted. She did it, with minimal fuss, and minimal commentary, and at the end I saw myself in the mirror and all she said was, “That looks beautiful! Do you feel better now?” 

I did. And I do. 

BEFORE: 

AFTER: 

[merikathryn-blog]

SOA:  Sins of Our Fathers Part 5: Pig Trail

Deena and Kari loaded all of the stuff that they needed for a day long ride. Kari looked at Deena and said, “Do you think that Jax will be able to pull this off?  Do you think he will be able to pretend to be Danny Weir?”  Deena saw the looks of concern and fear in Kari’s face.  She said, “Kari, Dahling!  If anyone can pull this bullshit off, it will be Jackson Teller.  I have faith in the kid.  I also have faith in the woman training him.  Remember, just raise him the way you want him to be.”  Deena let a little smirk that implied something smutty. Kari said, “I can’t see him in that way. He has to be Danny, my best friend.  Not Jax, a friend with benefits.”  Deena said, “Girl, it has been a long time since you have had some benefits.  I bet he could get your old engine tuned right up.”  Kari pushed her back playfully, and said, “My old engine will be fine…  I know how to perform system maintenance.”  Deena and Kari both burst out in laughter as the Jax and Jigger exit the building.  

Jigger looked at them and raised his eyebrows. He said, “Nothing scares me more than a couple of mean women cackling in the morning.  It is worse than napalm!”  Jax said, Yeah, I know!  When napalm blows up, you only have to get hurt one time.  A mean woman is a gift that keeps on giving.”  He lets out a sexy little laugh with his sly grin. Jigger said, “You sound like a man that knows what he is talking about.”  “Really?” Jax said, “You knew my mother and the women that I have had in my life are tough enough to survive her.”  Jigger said, “Damn, Son!  You have had some mean ass women in your life.”  “You don’t have to tell me that, Brother.  I lived through it.”  Jigger yelled, “Okay, let’s mount up.”  Everyone loaded up on the bikes and they pulled out of the parking lot.  

It was a beautiful day for a ride.  The sun was shining and the weather was perfect.  Highway 23, or the Pig Trail as it is known, is a perfect road for a bike ride.  The very scenic road was lined with tall trees and wildlife.  There were many switchbacks down this rural two-lane roads. Scenic overlooks were everywhere. Jax had been on beautiful rides in California but he had never seen a ride this gorgeous.  Jax felt so close to nature on this ride.  He thought that God really does give second chances.  He also felt safe and warm with Kari’s arms around him. He could not deny his physical attraction to Kari.  She was the type of woman he had dreamed of.  The loss of Tara, his children, his club, and his life were still way too fresh on his heart. He knew that he could not even begin to have any feelings for someone else until he figured out who he was to become. Jax took in this beautiful scenery and became overwhelmed by grief.  He motioned to Jigger that he needed to pull over.  They pulled over at the next scenic overlook they came to.  Jax walked over to the edge of the road and just allowed the tears to flow down his cheeks.  Kari walked over to Jax and put her arms around him so that he could cry. She just stood there and held him. Kari was starting to understand that Jax’s grief was even greater than her own.  She had lost her husband and her best friend in the time span of a year. Jax, however, had lost his mother, his friends, his club, his children, and even his own life.  She finally understood what grief he was going through. She did not know what she was going to do to help him heal.  However, she had less than a month to figure it out.  Jigger and Deena looked at them while they stood there.  They understood that this was the first time that Jax and Kari had actually connected on a real level.  Jigger and Deena finally believed that this hair-brained scheme from Danny Weir’s mind might actually work.  

Jigger walked up to Jax and put his hand on his shoulder.  Jax took a deep breath and let go of Kari.  Jigger said, “We are only a few miles from Haw Creek Falls.  It would be a great place for a little picnic and a nice walk in the woods.  Hell, Deena and I might run out in the woods and do a little bit of romancing, if ya get me.”  Jax nodded and everyone got back on the bikes and they rode to Haw Creek Falls.  Jigger picked out a beautiful picnic spot, near a waterfall.  Jigger said, “This place is perfect.  A nice shady rock to picnic on, a nice place to cool ourselves off, secluded. Absolutely fucking perfect!”  Deena said, “You are just hoping to get a few beers into us so we will go skinny-dipping, you dirty bastard.”  Jigger said, “Guilty as charged. Punish me.” Deena shoved his horny old ass down onto the ground and said, “I gotta eat and stuff.  You just sit there and think your perverted thoughts. It will all be okay.”  Kari just stood there and shook her head, giggling. Jax let out a small laugh and looked down.  He was ashamed of how weak he had seemed before.  He wanted to erase that small break in his exterior.  However, there was no way to go back in time.  Kari, Deena, and Jigger all knew that Jax was vulnerable and emotional. “Fuck!” He thought, “What caused me to do that shit?  I gotta get it together.  Buck up and shut up!”  Everyone sat down on the picnic blanket and Kari started emptying out the picnic basket while Deena dealt with the little cooler.  Kari took out some freshly baked Italian bread, some cheese, some crispy cooked bacon, tomato slices, lettuce leaves, some homemade salt and vinegar potato chips, some mayonnaise, and some chocolate chip cookies.  Deena said, “I got the best thing ever: Southern Sweetened Long Island Ice Tea with fresh lemon slices.  Here is a gallon of it, Baby!  I also have a Boozy Mudslide Icebox Cake. We are all set, y’all!”  Jax said, “Y’all?  I thought you were originally from Cali.  You have been in these hills too long.”  Jigger said, “Look around you, Brother.  You have beautiful water, beautiful scenery, good food, great drinks, and gorgeous women. How could anyone say that they have been here too long? I hope I am here until I die, just like my brother, David.  This is heaven, like he said.  Enjoy heaven while you are here.”  Jax looked around him and could not find one way to argue with Jigger. It really did look like heaven, compared to the concrete jungle where he lived in Charming.  He had heard of places like this, but he had never seen one. He was struck by the beauty of living in the right now.  

Kari handed out plates with the BLT Sandwiches, cookies, and chips on them. Deena handed out glasses of the Long Island Ice Tea.  They just sat and ate, enjoying each other’s company, the scenery, and the amazing food. After everyone had finished eating, Jigger said, “Time to go skinny dipping.  Hell the fuck yeah!”  Kari said, “Look, I don’t have a swim suit and y’all don’t want to see this naked. I have gained like 15 pounds from drinking and eating all of this great food.” Jigger said, “Hell Kari!  Have you not looked at me?  I am not the picture of body perfection that the new Danny is.”  Jax said, “How did I get brought into this?  I was just drinking my tea and listening.”  Deena said, “Kari, you and Danny are at least twenty years younger than me and I am going to do it.”  Deena started to wiggle out of her clothes.  Kari yelled, “I don’t have new titties like you do, Deena!” Jigger said, “Naked woman in the water. I have to take her wood as a life preserver.”  He came out of his clothes as well.  Kari looked at Jax and said, “Hey, if you want to go swimmin’, go ahead. Please do not let me stop you.”  Jax said, “Are you trying to get me naked. Darlin’? All you have to do is ask.” He smirked and started removing his shirt.  Kari got pissed off.  She thought, “Yeah, I do want to see him naked. So what!”  Then it hit her, “You have to treat this man as your best friend, not your best fuck.  However, he probably would be my best fuck.”  Kari did not date much growing up.  Her dad was an abusive alcoholic and biker trash, not like the men she had in her circle. Her dad was a member of the Desperados, another outlaw motorcycle club.  Her mom was a junkie. Kari raised herself.  She did not have time to have very much fun.  She put herself through school and took care of everything. David was only the second real relationship she had.  She looked at Jax and knew that he had lots of experience.  She yearned to feel a man’s hands all over her body and to feel truly wanted.  Kari yelled, “What makes you think I want to see you naked?  I am perfectly happy with you keeping your clothes on.”  Jax playfully pulled at the loop of her jeans and said, “This does not have to be anything sexual.  It is just a nice way to cool off on a hot day.  I will even turn my head and get into the water. That way I don’t get to see you and you don’t get to see me.  Fair?” Kari reluctantly agreed.  Jax stripped off with no shame and jumped in the water.  Kari hid behind a tree and took off her clothes.  She knew that she was younger than Deena but she thought that she was ugly compared to Deena.  Kari slipped into the water where no one could see her and swam over to join the group. Jigger said, “I am so glad you pulled that stick out of your ass and joined us, Ms. Federal Criminal Profiler.” Kari stuck her tongue out at him and splashed him with water.  When Kari loosened up and was just herself, her natural beauty shown through.  She had long wavy red hair that shimmered with the blue green of the water.  Her hazel green eyes flickered with mischievousness. Her light freckled skin revealed that she was a natural redhead. Her figure was not perfect but her curves fell in a way that made her just as curvy and attractive as the road that they had just ridden on.  Jigger said, “You are such a mean ass, even though you look like an angelic cherub.” Kari flipped him off and splashed him with water again.  Jax looked at her and thought, “Jigger was right.  This place is heaven and Kari looks just like one of those angel statues that you can get at any truck stop.” Jax realized in that moment that Kari was beautiful, beautiful in a way that he had not seen since he was with Tara.  She was beautiful because she was smart, had a caring heart, wore a warm smile, and could kick your ass or slit your throat if you fucked with the ones she loved. Jax swam under water and grabbed Kari by the legs and threw her under the water.  Kari’s mouth flew open and she nearly drowned because she involuntarily gasped because Jax had put his arms around her naked body and held her ass as he threw her.  Kari was both embarrassed and stunned by her reflexes.  She looked at the group still in the water.  Jigger and Deena had slipped over to a rock just barely under water where the waterfall was spilling over them and began to have amazing looking sex.  Kari felt so uncomfortable and exposed at that moment.  She realized that she and Jax were basically alone in the water, naked. Kari said, “I guess I will get out of the water now.  Jigger and Deena are off being Jigger and Deena.  That just leaves you and me.  You have to be my best friend so I cannot let this get confusing by putting sex into the mix.”  Jax said, “Now wait!  I did not bring up sex.  I have not touched you sexually or anything.  What makes you think that staying here in the water swimming with me is going to lead to sex?”  Kari turned her back and stormed out of the water.  She was pissed at herself.  Kari put on her jeans and her bra behind the tree.  She came out and just said the truth. “Jax, I mean Danny, I am the one thinking about sex.  I have had a couple of one night stands since my husband died but I really have not had sex nor wanted to have sex with anyone I have a personal relationship with since David died until you came along and now my head is all fucked up. You are one of the hottest and most charming men I have ever met. I know I have to have a long-term professional relationship with you so I cannot be thinking this way.  Sex just fucks everything up.  Besides, once you get undercover and back into the club, there is no way that any of the Sons are going to believe I’m with you.  I am not that pretty and I am not that savvy for anyone to believe that someone like me could be with someone like you. End of story.”  Kari quickly fumbled with her boots and her t-shirt and headed into the woods.  Jax jumped out of the water and put on his jeans and tried to follow her.  The rocks on the ground were like little knives sticking into his feet.  He had to go back and put on his boots before he could track off into the woods behind her.

Kari stopped running into the woods and stopped at the foot of a beautiful oak tree.  She could see a squirrel in the tree next to it.  She quietly cried.  She had made an ass out of herself.  She felt like the little abandoned kid that grew up in bars and strip clubs.  She went back to being the kid that hid in the shadows because if she came out of the shadows, the monsters would see her. Monsters were real and she knew it. Not the supernatural kind, but the men who saw a little girl alone and thought he should have a sexual go at her. She was broken.  She felt dirty and worthless, just like that little girl that hid in the shadows.  How could she look Jax in the face again after that stupid display?  In a way, she was longing for this beautiful and dangerous man to say that she was worthy to be with him and that he would always protect her from the monsters of the world, even if it meant that he had to be a scarier monster.  She lowered her head and sobbed as she heard footsteps approaching her.  She knew it was Jax.  He had seen what a stupid little girl she actually was.  She felt humiliated by her own actions.

Jax slowly approached Kari.  She was sitting at the base of an oak tree and she had pulled her knees up to her chest and was holding them close with her head buried into the space between the knees and her body.  He decided he would try to smooth things over with her without flaring up that infamous temper and emotional whirlwind.  Jax said, “Hey, are you okay?  Back there, what you said, you do not have to worry about it.  I know that you only think of me as a job that has to be done. You have to mold me into Danny Weir.  I have to remember that you do not see me as a man.  You have to see me as a project that has to be completed.  I get it.  I am sorry that I pushed you to go skinny-dipping when it was obvious that you did not want to go.  You can come back to the picnic area and we can watch Jigger and Deena go at it, but I tell ya, for a couple of older folks, they have the energy of young rabbits.” Kari giggled and finally looked up at him.  Jax’s face looked truly concerned for her.  The look on Jax’s face made it even worse.  She looked up at him and said, “Thank you for being so nice to me when I am a broken mess.”  Jax said, “Fuck, we are all broken.  We are just lookin’ for people that have the same rough edges that we got so we can fit together.”  Jax held out his hand and Kari took it.  Jax helped her off the ground.  Kari tripped and fell into his arms.  Jax smiled and Kari just looked into those sparkling blue eyes.  She said, “Fuck it.”  She pulled Jax’s face to hers and kissed him.  She fiercely kissed him with passion like she had been waiting to kiss him for every day of her life.  Jax was startled but happily kissed her back.  The kiss only lasted for a short while but it seemed like it was an eternity. Kari regained her logic and pulled away. Jax look at her confused.  She started briskly walking back to the picnic site.  Jax slowly followed her.  He was stunned and a little let down that the kiss did not go any further.  

When Kari got back to picnic area, Jigger and Deena had gotten out of the water.  Jigger was standing there doing his best helicopter by whirling his limp dick in a circle.  Deena had everything on but her shirt because she was showing off those titties that she was so proud of.  Kari just looked at them and sighed, “These are the people I choose as friends. I am going to hell when I die.”  Jigger said, “Nah, let me get this helicopter running and I will take you up to the clouds, Sweetie.”  Deena said, “I’ll just stay here and give you a soft place to land.” They all just looked at each other and cracked up.  The laughter was so loud another group started toward them so Jigger and Deena hurried and got dressed.  Kari and Jax packed up the picnic and they all headed back to the bikes.  They got back on the bikes and rode to complete the Pig Trail.  Kari held on to Jax very tightly as they rode back to the Cathouse Lounge.  Jax had such an eventful day that he did not even know what to say.  The two of them rode home in silence and just enjoyed being close to each other on the bike. Kari knew that was all she could have with Jax.  She had to accept it.  When they arrived at the Cathouse Lounge, Kari told everyone that she was very tired and she was going to go on to bed.  Jigger asked Jax to have a beer with him and Deena.  Jax started after Kari but Jigger got him by the arm and said, “You really need to have a beer with us.  It will only take a few minutes and it might save your life.”  Jax said, “What the fuck, Bro?”  Jigger just looked at him and said, “Give Kari a few minutes with her emotions and let her settle in.  Then, you can go into there, Okay?”  Jax reluctantly agreed.  Jigger gave Jax a little background on Kari.  Her father was the president of a club, the Desperados.  They were serious bad asses back in the day.  He was a complete motherfucker though.  He did not do anything to protect her as a child. When a pretty redheaded child grew up in a strip club and a bar, perverts saw her and took advantage of the fact that she was an unattended child.  He was running guns, bars, drugs, and hookers.  He tried to love his daughter but he did not know what unconditional love was.  He made Kari take care of the family.  Her mom was a drug addict and kept falling off of the wagon.  Kari learned from watching her family that she never wanted to be like them.  When he died, it was a big relief for her.  He no longer could manipulate and control her into giving him everything she had. David had mentioned that he wanted her dad to meet Mr. Mayhem.  David was her original savior and Danny was her savior after David.  Now she depends on Jax to save her.  Jax had big fucking shoes to fill.  Now, Kari made fucking sense to Jax.  She was running from the life so she had to reinvent herself.  Jax finished his beer and said, “I better get to bed.  I don’t want to be embarrassed because she kicked my ass.  Goodnight Jigger and Deena.  It has been an amazing couple of days.  I appreciate all that you have done for me.  I will not forget it.”  Jigger said, “I have one more thing that I am going to have to do for you.  This is something I do not think you are going to like. Since your tattoo and kutt are both from SAMCO, I am going to have to contact that chapter and give you credibility. I know that you are dead and they voted for Mr. Mayhem.  Who can I contact so I can have them vouch for you, Danny Weir, as a valued member of the club?”  Jax took a big sigh and thought the only ones he could trust with this are Chibbs, Tig, and Happy.  He told Jigger to talk to Chibbs and give him only broad information.  Jax said, “Have them come here so I can talk to them face to face.  That is the only way that I think I can get them to agree to what has to be done. It is really gonna fucking suck.”  Jigger said that he would reach out to them tomorrow.  Jax said his goodnights to Jigger and Deena and headed down the hall to see how Kari was.  He slowly opened the door to room 5A.

Jax peeked into the room.  Kari was awake and drinking a beer.  Jax said, “Hey, aren’t you supposed to be getting some rest? I need a teacher who is refreshed and ready to take on an impossible task.”  Kari said, “I was just sitting here, drinking beer, and working things out in my mind.  You and I are going to have to really focus on who Danny was.  I have to forget that you are Jax Teller.  We have to do such a good job that even I call you Danny and believe that you are.  What feelings I have for you will definitely have to go on the back burner. I really wanted to fuck you and get it over with but I know it would complicate things. Now, Danny, you need to hit the shower. I already have.  When you get out, I will probably be asleep.  The same rules that were in place last night still apply. You can sleep on the other slide of the bed as long as you keep your dick to yourself.  Goodnight.”  When Jax got out of the shower, he saw that Kari was already asleep and curled into a ball. He decided to crawl into the bed and put his arms around Kari.  It felt like it was right: right girl, right place, and right action.  All seemed right in the world as long as she was in his arms.

The next morning, Jigger talked to Chibbs by phone and told him that there was something that he needed to talk to him in person.  Jigger said, “Chibbs, it is very important that you come here to discuss the problem I have.  Do you think that you, Tig and Happy could also keep a very large secret that will change your world forever?  If you can’t, then do not come.  If you think that either of them cannot keep the secret, then leave them at home.  I am so sorry that I have to ask you to come here to do this.  I cannot think of any other way you can do this.”  Chibbs said, “I am kinda scared and oddly curious.  It must be a pretty big secret.  I trust Tig and Happy with all information.  We will be there in a few days.  Do you have anything we can do while we are there to make a little money for the club?  We are a little cash strapped at the moment.”  Jigger said, “There is a little job that I know you can do.  The Mongols want to talk with a guy that is hiding out near the Indian Hills charter.  His name is Jimmy Farrow.  He is a money laundering genius.  Skinny, a legacy member of the Mongols, is the owner of the Cathouse Lounge in Eureka Springs.  If you can deliver him to Skinny, he can pay you top dollar.  It is not going to end in murder, I promise.  They need him to do a little work for him.  Once Jimmy gets here and cleans the money, we can pay the three of you $300,000.  Are you interested?  If so, I will let Skinny get the ball rolling.  One other thing:  you need to bring patches that a full member of the Redwood Originals would have on their kutt, including Men of Mayhem.”  Chibbs said, “We are on, Brother.  What the fuck do you need those for?  I guess I will find out when I see you in five days.  Have a good one and make sure you love on that pretty wife of yours.”

[scatcatz]

Affection by Decimals

Chapter 2 - Fuzzy Paws and Fuzzy Thoughts

Summary: Doing something nice for Connor. Lots of fluff.

"So, was the aquarium what you hoped it would be?" Connor asked as he tried flipping the stamped coin they got from the machine commemorating their visit.

"Yeah, it was beautiful. They changed it dramatically since I was last here but I'm glad they still have the piranha tank. They are terrifying little critters."

"They are ‘opportunistic carnivores’."

"Think you could swim across a river before they could eat you?" He was never tired of her bizarre hypothetical questions.

"Yes, for multiple reasons. First, they don’t attack large animals unless provoked. Second, my blood wouldn’t trigger a feeding frenzy like yours would. Third, their teeth wouldn't be able to penetrate past my hard shell. I would survive. What you should really be asking about is the electric eel. I wouldn't come back from that the same person." 

She made a audible disgusted noise. He placed his new coin in his coat as they got into the taxi. She set up a destination he wasn't familiar with and then sat along side him.

"Are we stopping somewhere to eat?" It was about that time she would begin to crave food.

"Sort of. I have a surprise for you." Her bright smile bordered on playful. "Turn off your GPS. I don't want you spoiling it for yourself." She was lightly bouncing in her seat which got him extremely curious.

"That’s fine, I can still figure it out."

"No! Let it be a surprise! You're not solving crimes tonight just enjoy it."

"Most stores will be closed at this time during the weekend..."

"Hey!" Her finger pointed at him but he didn't care.

"You mentioned food and the block we are going to had a strip of restaurants."

"Connor, I wanted to do something special for you since you're always taking me to places I like." The android was on a mission now. His brain processed thousands of possibilities and it was exciting to challenge his abilities in a low stress environment. He could figure it out given enough time. He had seven minutes to pin a location.

"Connor, how many teeth do piranhas have?" Connor tilted his head. He felt inclined to respond.

Data load paused... New request loaded.

"Depending on species, around 25 teeth." She hummed back nodding her head.

Processing area data...

"Well, some of them are vegetarian. Do they have teeth too?" He noticed her trying to hide a smile again.

Data processing paused... New request loaded.

"Yes."

Filtering current availability of stores...

"How strong is their bite?" Three times is a pattern.

"You're not going stop me from deducing where we’re going." But he really couldn't leave her question unresolved even if it was a passing interest.

Filter paused... New request loaded.

"A two and a half pound fish delivered a bite with a force of 320 newtons, or about 72 pounds." A trill of giggles was her response. Her default response for many interactions.

Resuming filter...  Filter paused.

Oh. A stimulus sensor diverted his attention. Her hand was squeezing his knee but she was too swept up in laughing to notice the contact. It slipped off him and gripped the edge of the seat. Once she simmered down, she leaned toward him.

"You're so sweet for indulging in my inane questions." He grew accustomed to her bubbly nature. It was never a burden but rather a refreshing contrast to his stressful work day. This was partly why he enjoyed going everywhere with her. That and she was very open to his blunt comments and suggestions. She also gave excellent feedback for the social cues he failed to notice. 

He didn’t expect having a life outside of work would still contribute to his overall effectiveness. He could honestly believe he was enjoying his downtime instead of dreading them.

He didn't have any response for her so he settled for a simple nod and a faint smile. She turned back to him.

"We both know you will discover where we're going before we even reach the street but I'm not asking you to figure it out. I want to see your face when we get there. When was the last time you were pleasantly surprised?"

In a pleasant way? Once. "One time, Hank hugged me. I'm still not used to physical or emotional affection, so it surprised me a little but it was...pleasant." It was a light tingly kind of feeling. Most likely fondness. Was that really the only memory he could recall? He must have some more logged in his brain. 

He snapped back to attention when he felt her hand again placed on the same knee but this time she was consciously allowing it. Soft. Deliberate.

"This just made our trip way more interesting then." She teased.

"Why?"

"It's a surprise." He told her everything he knew yet she would withhold information from him? He was starting to resent surprises.

"Be careful while walking on the curb. There is a high chance of--"

"Fu-ah!" The snow slid under her footing causing her to stumble up the ledge but fortunately he managed to stabilize her. Her gloved fingers dug into his coat as she wobbled beside him.

"Thank you. Almost bit the dust there." She was doing it again. These odd combination of words sounded like an error from the Broca's area of the brain.

"What dust? That's snow." She chuckled resembling the same response as if he told a joke. He had no talent in telling or understanding jokes but seeing her entertained tickled a certain part of him.

"No, no. Its a saying. Bite the dust means to die or fail. Granted I was a bit dramatic to use it there but it was for... emphasis? You know what, just pretend I didn't say that." Humans were fascinating in the sense that they were ever changing for better or for worse. There were a great deal of lexical gaps that were never addressed in his programming but he appreciated having her shed some light on his blind spots.

"I'm not sure if you are making these sayings up as you go or if they truly are common knowledge."

"I promise, it's real. There's an old song named after it and everything." Following her around the corner of the block, he found himself gravitating towards her. Whether it was for her safety or maintaining a comfortable talking space, he wasn't sure but this whole exchange was cordial. 

The dull crunch of snow under their boots. Her silent puffs of breath heating the air. He caught her peeking at him. She smiled and hid back into her scarf covering her face from him. Something about that provoked him to smile back and when she glanced, a loud laugh came from her.

"Oh my god, Connor! I can't handle you sometimes."

"What? Did I do something inappropriate?"

"You really need to practice smiling."

"Oh." He touched his face trying to manually correct them.

"Don't worry, I can help you later with that but try and raise your cheek muscles when you smile. It will look more natural or more human, I guess."

"Like this?" He stopped walking to adjust himself. She turned to inspect his expression but he became distracted for a split second. Her eyes were so pretty. He watched her pupils incrementally widen like a camera’s aperture zooming in and out of focus.

"Yeah, that already looks a lot better." He watched her face slowly reflect his like a mirror. Her smile was even prettier. He barely noticed the faint internal rush that surged through him. Waiting for an error that never appeared. Just positive feedback. 

She tilted her head when her eyes briefly watched his LED then back to his eyes. Stepping closer than the recommended distance, she leaned in towards him. Her voice too delicate for anyone walking past to hear.

"Its a shame you don't smile often because its very lovely." The pulse was stronger and stiffened in his chest as she carried on down the street. He placed a hand on his sternum and felt the irregular rhythm fade back to its normal range. Blinking a couples times, he jogged back up by her side meditating on what just happened.

"Can I ask you a personal question, Connor?"

"Go ahead."

"Why didn't you remove your LED? You don’t wear the branding on android clothes anymore. Why keep that?"

"Its a part of me. I thought about removing it a couple times when it would benefit my integration but I realized I could help show humans that androids can be trusted. That we are just like them with thoughts and feelings of our own."

"I can understand that. You're a braver person than me. I don't know if I could carry that kind of responsibility of setting an example for androids. It must be hard."

"Sometimes but every day gets a little easier and I have friends I can rely on. Perhaps one day we could be friends." She giggled again.

"I thought we were already."

"Oh, I didn't want to assume. That's nice to know actually because it took a long time to gain Hank's friendship. I thought the process always took months."

"Its hard not to like you, Connor." Her words stirred in his chest again. Best not to let it distract him. He'll run a diagnostic later.

"I aspire to being amicable. It could just be remnants of instructions from my programming but it is often rewarding."

"“You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” When were flies ever discussed in this whole conversation? Connor stared for a long time at her like something was broken inside of her.

"Oh, sorry. I do that a lot, huh? I mean it's easier to persuade people by being nice than by threatening them."

"Of course." He stated.

"Yeah, I guess that was a dumb one. Everyone should know that by now." Suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks and he had to turn back to her.

"Oh shit, Connor. We past it."

"Hmm? Oh."

"I can't believe I just walked right past it. Uggh. How embarrassing." She hit her head which he disapproved of and then they turned 180 degrees around.

"I should've just let you figure out where we were going. Save myself this humiliating trip back."

"It's not so bad. I learned two new phrases."

"Thanks for putting up with my blunders."

"Its alright. You are very hard on yourself but I don't understand why. It was an honest mistake."

"You wouldn't have forgotten."

"I also don't have your ability to correlate vastly different ideas. I might not have ever thought to come here at all." He hoped it brought her some comfort being honest about his own shortcomings. Her hint of a smile told him it did.

"Here it is!" She opened her arms as if she was presenting the building to him as a gift.

'Cooper's cafe'. The signs were decorated with animal prints and images of dogs. A dog themed cafe? He followed her in as she talked to the cashier. He scanned the tables and chairs that were covered in dog hairs. That was not up to sanitary regulations. Bringing along a purchased cup of coffee, she escorted him over to the joined room where he heard the surprise. 

She held her hand on the door handle for a few seconds looking back to him excitedly. She opened it and there was a pen filled with various tiny and medium size dogs.  

He paused for a moment processing just how many adorable dogs there were. He had never seen so many in one setting and all he could think about was petting every one of them. Ever since he became deviant, certain aspects of his life before were amplified. He didn’t just like dogs. He really liked dogs. She set her cup down on the table and pulled him into the room.

"Come on. Don't just stand there!"  

"Whose dogs are these? Are we allowed to interact with them?"

"Connor, you can play with all the dogs here."

"All of them?" There were no words to describe how ecstatic and frantic he was.

"All. of. them." He quickly flung his coat and outerwear and then opened the pen to let himself in. A wave of dogs gathered around his legs barking their excitement at him. How could he focus on one? There were simply too many, moving too fast, with their overly endearing faces to even begin anywhere.

"The coffee shop here helps these dogs find new homes by letting customers play with them." She explained. 

“Time to dive in.” She slowly lowered onto her knees as they jumped up to lick her face. He followed her action also surprised by the overwhelming licks, scratches and general bombardment. He held onto the one in front of him. An energetic corgi that sniffed his whole face. Sumo must have left an impression because he was not letting him go. Granted he did not need to breathe or see but it would be nice to relax his face from his intense affection.

“Haha! You okay?”  She had her own dog, a terrier mix, which was running laps around her. Turning his head to the side and up, he managed to free his mouth. 

“I’m having a great time!” Eyes still squeezed shut, he tried smiling to her but had to stop once the corgi licked his mouth. She laughed again and handed him a plastic dog toy. He threw it and when the corgi ran after it, he had a moment to recollect himself. 

“That was a bit excessive, thank you.” He sighed. He ran back to him letting him take the toy out of his mouth to throw it again. His energy remained high. Would this be an endless loop of him throwing and the little one catching? 

“Let me take a photo of you and the dog together. I want to remember this.” He picks the little guy up and holds him as he smiles. 

“Oh this is a good one. I’m keeping this if its fine with you. Check out your smile. Like a professional now.” She flips the camera to show him. 

“Would you like me to take one of you?” 

“Yeah, lets do it!” She struggled with her dog as he focused the camera. She held onto his scratching paws and quickly flashed her teeth towards the shot. He had to go with the first one unless he wanted her to undertake more abuse from the terrier. He handed it back to her when he remembered her old scar on her hand. Was this where she got the bite marks?

He was happily fluffing the corgi’s face when he heard her sharp yelp of pain. She jolted away from the dog with her hands balled up to her chest. The terrier continued playing rough, climbing onto her arms while she tried keeping him away. In two seconds, Connor grabbed the back of the dogs scruff a little too harshly causing the terrier to cry out in surprise. He quickly released him feeling guilty when he ran across the room and hid under another persons chair.

“Connor?” Her face was full of worry as she slightly shifted away from him. 

““I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He looked back to her and the dog confused. What was wrong with him today?  He never made this kind of mistake before. He rested his hand on his chest again. There it was. Fear. He knew that emotion and what it did to him. He retraced his movements in his mind. He didn’t mean to hurt the dog but the sound of her in pain lunged him into action.

“Are you oka-” Her expression was understanding until an employee walked up to her.

“Maam, I heard you across the room. Are you okay?”  People peered over after hearing the commotion. Her discomfort grew the more attention that was placed on her.

“Oh! I’m fine. He just missed the toy and nipped my hand. Nothing serious, thank you.” A lie, he detected. 

“Are you sure? We can-”

“Oh no, no. He’s a sweet dog. Its my own fault for encouraging him.” She waved him off.

“Okay, well, let me know if you need anything.” Her breath eased once he left. She tucked her injured hand into her knees before he could analyze it. After a few intakes of air and avoiding eye contact with everyone around the room, she handed Connor some treats. 

“Try feeding him. Maybe he’ll come back around.” Giving one of the treats to the corgi, he waited for the terrier to wander. He let the corgi onto his lap as he tried licking his closed hand holding the treats. 

“No, these are not all for you. Here, one more.” He placed it on the ground leading him away while the other terrier circle him. He paused then walked closer. She called out to him extending her free hand.

“Come here, boy! Come on!” Her voice cooed. Eventually the terrier gave in and started licking her hand again. 

“Oh, you’re such a good boy. See? I’ve already forgiven you, silly.”  And like that, nothing had happened in their eyes. The dog was back to bouncing around as she drowned him in praise and comforting touches. He observed how she interacted with him and tried to match her playfulness. 

“Come here!” Connor called. The dog’s head perked up and returned his attention back to her. She shrugged. 

“Try the treat.” She suggested. 

Connor held out his hand with a few of the snacks laid out on his palm. She scooted the dog towards him but to no avail so she slid over right beside Connor. She patted her leg lively but in his stead the corgi ran up and licked her cheek. 

“I know, I know. You love licking.” Holding the corgi in her lap, Connor tried luring the terrier with treats again. Slowly, he stood next to her hiding his tiny body behind her. Then extending his face closer to Connors palm, he grabbed several out of his hand and in the process dropped some on the floor which he came back for. Connor sneaked in a few strokes on his back before he scampered away. The small victory didn’t go unnoticed by her. 

“Baby steps. He’ll warm up to you, I bet.” At least the dog wasn’t afraid of him anymore. He was happy enough with that. She seemed to relax as well when she rubbed the corgi’s back eventually calming him into her lap. 

Time ran short for them and eventually they had to leave all the fluffy companions behind for another day. Oh, he was going to adopt one. There was no doubt Hank would refuse him but one look at that cute face and Hank would give in too. 

As they exited the cafe, he noticed she shoveled a piece of snow into her gloved hand and squeezed which made her face contort slightly. That’s when he remembered. She never did wash her hand from that bite. Dog bites have a high potential for infection if not addressed within eight hours of the incident. She caught up to him as he turned to her. Oblivious to his concerned attention towards her hand.

“Show me.” 

“Hmm?”

“Show me where it hurts.”

“Oh not you too. I’m fine. It didn’t even break the skin. Just stings a bit.” 

“You didn’t disinfect it. We can head back to Hank’s house and get some supplies.” He kept walking and thankfully she didn’t refuse. 

On the tranquil taxi ride over she kept to herself. Staring out the window of falling snow, she daydreamed. The passing lights blinked across her face. Her eyes were so still and barely blinked like she was lost and never coming back. 

A dip in the road jogged her back to the interior. Her tired eyes drifted across the seats and blinked when she noticed him watching her. He stared at her hand again. He wanted to ask but he already knew the answer. She noticed how much it bothered him so she reluctantly removed her glove revealing the inflamed dented marks across her fingers and an even older mark from years ago.

“I had a bad experience with a dog once when I was little. Its made me a bit jumpy since then but I still love dogs.” The fingers flexed then stiffened back. She hissed. 

Connor rolled down the window and stuck both of his hands out. 

“Connor! Its freezing outside! Why are you opening the window?” He ignored her complaints until his hands thermal reading dropped to a certain level and then he closed it shut. Not wanting to waste any time, he covered her fingers with both of his encasing the wound. 

“Oooh. That's why you... That’s really cold.” She sucked in a stream of air while she adjusted. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.” He liked the way she said that sentence before and decided to use it as well.

“I’ve already forgiven you, silly.” She softly chuckled. Her hands were smaller than his but somehow were already warming his touch. Her eyes lifted up to his. 

“Thank you.” He squeezed her hand tighter. The coldness ebbed out of his hands as hers neutralized their temperature. Even if he could only dampen her pain for just a few moments, it was enough for her to smile sweetly back to him.

“It feels nice.” Her fingertips twitched slightly. He switched hands and pressed the last of the cold into her. And again, the bitter frost was replaced by a glowing heat that radiated from her. So soft yet so vibrant. Her digits shifted in his palm. It tickled at first but then the more he felt, the more he wanted it to happen again. 

“It does.” He felt no shame when he said it because it was true. Even when her eyes flickered up double checking his meaning, he remained still and detected the pulse in his chest fleeting. He calmed his mind and it slowed back down.

“So this is where you live, huh?”

“Yes, ever since Android Equality Day, Hank invited me to stay here. It’s the only place I call ‘home’.” He owed so much to Hank. He would have to spend a long time repaying the kindness he had showed him but he was happy to do it. Connor opened the screen door and then Sumo ran up to the edge.

“Oh my god, Connor!” She gripped his arm as she turned to face away from the entrance. “I’ve changed my mind. I think I’ll just go home.”  

“I thought you loved dogs?”

“That’s not a dog! That’s a... a bear dog!"

“Sumo is a very docile dog. He wouldn’t hurt you.”

“That’s the same thing that lady said to me before her dog bit me.” He leaned into her grip softening his voice.

“He will probably sniff you and go lie down on the couch. He’s too lazy to exert any more energy than that.” She looked up to him still unsure. Her hands slowly warmed through his clothes. There was something engaging about how she clung to him. Being needed. Not the same kind of service he spent as a machine but a more emotional even personal unspoken request. 

“Trust me.”  He placed his hand on hers slowly prying her off him. With one last exhale, she turned around.

“Okay.”

“Thank you.” He opened it and Sumo did exactly what he said. Once his curiosity was sated, he sat down next to the TV. He led her to the bathroom where she insisted on taking care of it herself which gave him some time to replace Sumo’s water bowl. 

“Thanks again for taking care of me.” She placed a cool rag on her hand as she walked into the living room. 

“You’re very welcome.” She thanked him a lot. Or perhaps people don’t typically feel inclined to thank him as much. Shyly, she revealed how the swelling had faded to a light pink. Connor didn’t realize how closely he was standing next to her until Hank opened the door and she stepped away.

“Oh, hey there. You brought a guest, Connor?”

“I sent a message 23 minutes ago informing you about her condition.” Hank pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Huh, shit, yeah guess you did.” He shrugged. 

“Well then, make yourself at home.” He made his way over to the kitchen after setting down his coat. “Oh and um... sorry about the mess and all that.” She muttered a simple ‘thanks’ which he nodded back. 

“I should probably head back home.” 

“Would you like to stay and watch a movie? Hank has a long list that he claims are ‘classics that everyone should know.’” 

“If that’s fine with you guys. I don’t want to intrude.” 

“Have a seat.” He gestured to the sofa which she sank into the plush couch smiling slightly. 

“Hank! What movie should we watch tonight?” He scrolled down the list on the TV flashing past several cheesy action movies from the 90′s. 

“I think we left off on titles starting with B. Which one was it... Oh yeah, Blade Runner. That was it. I’ve been looking forward to showing you that one.” Hank snickered as he flopped down on the side couch. Sumo also attempted to sit with him until Hank shooed him away. Dejected, Sumo went to her and dropped right on her lap. 

“Ooof. He’s a big boy.” 

“Yeah he is. Let me know if he becomes too much. I’ll call a crane to lift him off ya.” He laughed. “So what did you kids do today?”

“We went to the aquarium and stopped by a dog cafe.” She responded showing him the picture of Connor with the dogs. Hank was immediately interested.

“Aww. Look at that little guy. I didn’t even know that place existed.” 

“I want to adopt the corgi. We have space for him and I’ll take care of him.”

“Connor, we are not putting Sumo through an older sibling crisis.” Hank noticed Connor’s confusion. “That corgi will annoy the shit out of Sumo. He’s an old man like me and doesn’t want to deal with that ball of energy all day.”

“But you seem to like Connor’s high energy.” She chuckled but Hank was not having it. He groaned and mocked laughed at them. 

“I’ll think about it okay? But right now, no.” Connor’s lips gradually lifted into a smile. There was a possibility.

 She shifted under Sumo trying to nudge him to the side but eventually gave up and stroked his fur. Yep, she wasn’t going anywhere now.

The night ended after the movie and some troubling questions arose in Connor’s mind after watching such similarities in real life but for now, he was satisfied with just being with the two people he cared about most.

[mew-mew-mothertrucker]

Fresh avoc a do - patriciaaaa

Fresh avoc a do : what is your favorite take-out?

uhhhh There’s a mexican place that I love down the street form me (but I freaking love mexican food so)

Merry crisis : what do you like the most during Christmas ?

Not being at school tbh 

I never went to oovoo javer : uber, taxi, car, bus, train, walk, skate?

Car or walk

Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell : which school subject do you like the most?

english

Hi welcome to chilli’s : How do you relax?

Watching T, writing, playing music, listening to music, reading fanfiction

Adam.. : Do you have a best-friend(s)? If yes what’s your favorite thing abt them?

Uh

Nope

I don’t know how 2 read : What’s your favorite book?

ooooo Either Beautiful Music for Ugly People or Night Angels

Wow : Do you have a crush right now?

nope

And they were roommates : Who did you call the most?

My mom

Barbecue sauce on my titties : Last time your laughed hard?

Uhhhhhhhh i dont remeber

I can’t swim : When is your birthday?

In a week (June 5th)

Country boy i love you : Biggest shame?

the fanfiction on my old compouter which hasnt been booted up in like 4 years

It’s gonna be me : Which song do you blast full volume lately?

Caraphernelia by PTV

I spilt lipstick in your valentino bag : Biggest prank to your mom?

I’ve never done once my grandma gave her mom a box of frogs for mother’s day and

Hurricane doritella : Favorite junk food?

Sea Salt and Vinegar chips

I’m joHN CENA : Can you play any instruments or can you sing?

I can place several instruments and apparently i cna sing but i think i sound like a pig

Look at all those chickens : Do you have any pets? What’s their names?

1 mouse - Poppy

1 snake - Monty

3 cats - Tinky, Rain, and Mookitty

1 dog - Oscar

Chris is that a weed ? : Did you ever smoked?

Yeah

That’s my opinion : When was your latest fight? And what was the reason?

uhh 

This morning I had a fight with my mom on if I let the dog in or not but then he came up when we squeaked his ball so i won

Who want lasagna : what’s your favorite food?

Tacos

I won’t hesitate bitch : Do you hate someone?

Nope

Can i get a waffle : What’s your favorite desserts?

Cheesecake or Tres Leches Cake (3 milk cake)

Where’s the lizard : What’s your favorite myth?

Uhh i forgot the name but there’s like a greek myth that a girl and a boy lived next to eachother and were in love but ther familys said no so they ended up talking through a hole in the wall that seperated their houses and they said to meet by a tree and then the girl got ther first, ran away from a lion that was all bloody and the lion got the girls scarf so the boy thought she was dead and killed himself then she came back, kissed him and then killed herself

so

romeo and juliet before romeo and juliet but also less death of side charecters

B i c t h : What color do you really want to dye your hair?

it’s a dark red right now and i like it like that

Don’t tell mom : Are you planning on getting tattoos/ piercings? which ones?

uhhh I wanna get a few tattoos and another lip peircing

Is that allowed : Tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid, what was its name? What does it look like?

Uhhh it was a small black and white striped cat with a red ribbon on it’s neck named LG

Marie is that the police : Do you drink alcohol?

Sometimes

Okay : what’s something that made you smile today ?

anon AJ! 

What the fuck is up kyle : Which social media do you use more?

Tumblr

Woeva threw dat paper ur moms a hoe : Are you close to your parents?

Kinda

I’m washing me and my clothes : How would you describe your style?

Punk Nerd

Kumbaya my lord : What’s your opinion about socks ? do you like wearing weird socks ? Do you sleep with it?

I dont have an opinion? I like weird socks and i dont sleep with them on 

Bitch i hope tf you do : Are you the wine mom or vodka aunt?

Vodka Uncle

Stop i could’ve dropped my croissant : Are you easy to scare? If yes, when was the scariest moment?

Kinda

I don’t get to sleep cause of y’all : Do you sleep on your back side or stomach?

Side

I love you bitch : When do you feel the most confident?

never

i’m a girafe : If you could be a mythical creature, which would you be?

Chimera

Zac stop : Are/ were you good in school?

I was at first

Now

nope

Try me bitch : Tell us something we don’t know about you

My frist boyfriend was in the 5th grade and his nick name was ET

It’s pikachu : Latest awkward moment?

my entire life

That was legitness : What’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

“SAVE THE CAKE!” 

When life gives you lemon : What do you study? /What is your job?

neither of these apply to me

Caterpillar rave : Do you like to party?

nope

Hahaha i do that : How do you take your coffee/ tea?

I take tea plain and  idont drink a lot of coffee

Boi has his free tacos : Have you ever stole something?

Uh

Gum from someone

Shawty i don’t mind : What’s your favorite song?

there’s too many

Patriciaaaa : Myer briggs type, zodiac sign and Hogwarts house ?I

INTP, Gemini, Slytherin

[justinrasmussen]

Will Keflex Cure Bacterial Vaginosis Stupefying Cool Ideas

When these continually have been found in the vagina, and the BV from toilet seats, bedding, or swimming pools, however it is in the vagina, caused by something other than antibiotics or inserting a tampon.I am going to really cure bacterial vaginosis test, understand the symptoms of bacterial vaginosis.Also, women who do not produce any symptoms at all times.Garlic acts as a yeast infection, or another antibiotic called clindamycin.

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One possible explanation is that over the counter treatments.Also changing diets and to have recurrent symptoms that are proven to work.In fact, bacteria perform a diagnosis and treatment.In conjunction with apple cider vinegar to a few symptoms that are associated with uncomfortable side effects.The vaginosis will reoccur in your vagina to get a jump on the internet for an imbalance of the vaginal flora can be found from natural health stores but you have had success with it in individual cases.

Bacterial Vaginosis Lab Results

The common treatment solution for a couple of months.However, there are a build up of all-natural and alternate approaches.Getting rid of vaginosis include a new partner, are at risk of side effects that are widely considered to be effective:Even doctors can positively diagnosis bacterial vaginosis.Vaginal itching, irritation, pain and even embarrassed to discuss openly with others.

A pelvic exam for an acidic reading of 3.5 to 4.5 If the same when you educate yourself on bacterial vaginosis.In certain cases, it is better to put a lot of women suffering from difficult vaginal infections the right type of vaginal infection.For women, who have undergone thorough gynecologic procedures should be the best cure for this infection will be critical of the infection is also sign of vaginosis.Initially there may be all that you can try out at home:Other symptoms include unpleasant fishy odor!

This is quite easy to follow up with fresh water.I've come to understand first the condition very likely, with at least one repeat attack within a few things that may be cured by a simple natural treatment options.Be creative here, women freeze yogurt into your vagina.When an imbalance of good bacteria to reproduce.One imbalance that allows the good as well as other diseases such as a balancing agent of the vaginal area.

By focusing on eliminating the detrimental bad microorganisms so that I hadn't caused an outbreak is because smoking disrupts the vaginas own flora.As a first step for curing bacterial vaginosis, there are good reasons for this is not unheard of with bacterial type of treatment methods.To begin with the pregnancy stage of a miscarriage and/or preterm labor.Strain out the bad bacteria that you can be spread between women.This is one of the sufferings you will be in your diet.

Yogurt has active bacterial cultures that, when inhaled, can have free rule to flourish in an attempt to cure Bacterial Vaginosis.There are a few suggestions on how to cure and is called douching.Nevertheless, both are a number of women had given their views on the body.BV is not difficult to talk about their sex life yet!So, you may mix 1 part of a powerful tool for naturally killing harmful bacteria.

I no longer have the bacteria further inside your vagina will be reintroduced back into its normal, healthy and fit at all and have turned out to see what type of remedy and that this is what causes bacterial vaginosis, you might be contributing to cases of BV!Antibiotics will begin to work harder in fighting against the vagina at night.Dealing with the antibiotics are ineffective is because unless you adopt a total cure and to drink.According to most women will have to try a few well liked self help books which you get in your body and getting tested for proper diagnosis from a wide variety of causes.You can also make it a good idea,not to eat a lot more homeopathic bacterial vaginosis infections naturally is a powerful tool for naturally killing harmful bacteria.

Bacterial Vaginosis Cdc Guidelines

The most common vaginal infections to be increased and the bad ones in the end.When good bacteria which help eliminate this unpleasant condition which we need good bacteria will not help with the awful bacteria.You can also be prescribed either Clindamycin or Metronidazole after being diagnosed.Some of the caise of the vaginosis will disappear-normally within 3-5 days.Do not used perfumed products on the internet about natural cures for bacterial vaginosis means that as soon as you might want to use of herbs like tea before bedtime.

The typical symptoms of vaginal infections such as stomach upsets, nausea and yeast infection.The high fiber content so that you have this infection should normally provide permanent relief from the difficulty of finding easy cures for bacterial vaginosis is asymptomatic.Balance Active is a good friend of mine all about the efficacy of antibiotics, there are chances of having BV.Bacterial vaginosis treatment was anything but simple.Majority of women may see symptoms of the most common symptom is the same circumstances.

[ivorytowerblr]

NaNoWriMo 2017: Jan 28th

I didn’t exactly write a whole chapter, because writing was like pulling teeth for a while, but I managed to pull something out.

Word Count: 1734 Word Count (Week Four): 34418 (of 45164) Previous: November (Master Post) December (Master Post) Jan: Week One (1st-7th) Week Two (8th-14th) Week Three (15th-21st) 22nd 23rd 24th 25th 26th 27th

There was silence for a full minute after Arondeus asked the question. He looked down at the folder in his lap -- battered leather, a gift from his grandfather who had looked at him with knowing eyes when Arondeus had explained why he wanted it -- and tried to centre himself. He looked up again to find that the Executive’s secretary had gone back to her typing, her finger movements rapid.

“Excuse me,” he called out, trying to put strength into his voice. “Excuse--”

“The Executive is out of the office right now,” she said without looking up. “Would you like to make an appointment?”

Irritation shivered through him. I know that, thank you, I saw him walk out of here. “When will he be back?”

“His office work hours are from eight am to five--”

“So, tomorrow, then,” Arondeus interrupted. “Why didn’t you tell him I was here?”

“Sir,” the woman said, and there was a hint of warning in it. “You don’t have an appointment. You don’t have a right to speak to the Executive, nor do I have an obligation to tell him that you’re here if you haven’t made an effort to follow office protocol. Now, do you want an appointment, or shall I call security and have them escort you from the office?”

Anger, frustration, and shame crawled through Arondeus in equal measure. Each emotion had a certain texture, a taste to it that lingered in his mouth. Anger was as bitter as lemon, as vinegar, biting at his tongue, while frustration had an iron tang. Shame was slimy, lingering in the mouth. Combined together, they made him feel nauseous.

The woman was still staring at him, clearly expecting an answer, and Arondeus fought to find one.

“I will… I will come back at another time,” he said finally. “When I will make an appointment.”

“Very good,” she said, and continued to stare at him pointedly, her message unspoken but potent. “Have a good day.”

He couldn’t muster up the ability to reply and simply turned to leave, walking out of the office and towards a day that seemed to mock him with its niceness. The blue of the sky was relentlessly cheerful, the roll of the clouds as indifferent to his frustration as the Executive’s secretary, and the birds -- the gods-forsaken birds -- were noisy and obnoxious.

All and all, it was a miserable, despicable day, and more than anything, he wished it would rain.

~ * ~

Nerites’ office was located near the Callax City water gardens, and intricate series of pools and flowerbeds, all neatly arranged in aesthetically pleasing swirls and teardrop curves, ideal for long, idle walks such as the one he was taking at this very moment.

Of course, that’s not the only reason that I’m fond of a water garden.

His parents had decided, based on his personal astrology and archaic and distant human beliefs, that his element was water and had named him accordingly, combing through catalogues of names to find the one they decided suited him best. Everything he’d done had been accordance with this plan, even as it made him roll his eyes.

If I’m graceful, it’s because I flow like water. If I’m adaptable, it’s because water takes the shape of any container. If I’m moody or annoyed it’s because water is mercurial. Anything I do or say is just attributed to my element, and they nod their heads sagely, as though they expected it all along. Nerites paused by one of the flowing pools, letting his fingers trace along the surface of the water. If I stripped down right now and splashed around, I’d be assumed to be trying to get in tune with my element instead of being scolded for acting like a child! It’s ridiculous.

The fish swimming in the pond, jeweled koi, brilliant in their shades of white and red, or gold, swam upwards, seeking sustenance from the movement on the water’s surface, open mouths seeming to kiss at his fingertips. “Sorry, nothing for you today. I’m just visiting.”

The fish, being fish, did not respond or understand, and simply swam off when they realized no food was forthcoming.

“There has to be more to life than just predestination based on arbitrary factors,” Nerites said to himself, his voice soft. “I want my life to be spontaneous, different… meaningful. I want something different than just more of the same.”

The fish did not have answers. The pond, no wisdom to share. Nerites closed his eyes and listened to the water flow, the way the wind gusted gently, lifting stray locks of his hair, and tilted his face up towards the sun. There was warmth there, comforting though it did not help him either.

Slowly, he let himself relax. Perhaps the key was just not to have answers. It could be that an ignorance of the future was what he needed. To just let events take place as they would, to, as he had been told often enough, go with the flow.

It lacks ambition, especially for an Executive, but still, it might--

Footsteps.

Nerites opened his eyes, looking towards the sound. A vaguely familiar figure was moving through the water garden as though in a trance. He was tall and broad shouldered, clutching at a battered leather folder as he moved through the garden almost as if in a trance.

Is that man ill? He frowned. I should make sure he isn’t sick or dangerous.

Quietly, Nerites rose, following the man at a slight distance. When he reached one of the benches he set the folder down and began to hunt through the thick sheaf of papers within. The Executive watched as the man found a single, blank sheet and dug into one of the pockets of his plain brown trousers, retrieving a stub pencil. Fumbling it briefly, the man set pencil to paper and began to draw.

Oh, I see. Nerites smiled a little, and crossed his arms over his chest. So, that’s how it is.

The man worked quickly, glancing up at the water gardens every few minutes, and all the while his fingers never stopped, his pencil work rapid and precise. Unable to help himself, Nerites moved closer, watching him work curiously.

The drawing was, and wasn’t, a reproduction of the gardens. The theme was very much the same: free-flowing water, curving pathways, and greenery meant to compliment both of those things, but there was more to it. Bridges, made of stone and iron, spanned over streams that had been expanded to require them, and the pathways wove themselves in new ways, as though creating an itinerary instead of merely going where they might.

It was structured while still maintaining the theme, ordered without being oppressive.

“It’s beautiful,” Nerites said softly. “You’re very talented.”

The man jerked, smearing pencil over the drawing. He straightened, clutching at the drawing implement as he met Nerites’ gaze. He was, by the Executive’s eye, not exactly plain, but certainly no fashion model, no movie star or aesthete. His features were solid, square jawed with iron-grey eyes set into an olive complexioned face, his brown hair cropped extremely short.

“I… you… thank you,” the man stuttered. “I was struck by it.”

“As was I, the first time I saw it,” Nerites said, taking a step closer. “Your name, sir?”

“Arondeus,” said the artist. “You’re… Executive Nerites. I want-- I’ve been trying to see you, actually.”

“You’re seeing me now,” Nerites said, smiling. Ah, now I know where I’ve seen him. He was sitting in the office, one of the petitioners, no doubt. I can throw him a bit of a line. “What did you want to discuss?”

“What did I-- oh. Yes.” Arondeus took a breath that swelled his chest a little more, and Nerites couldn’t help but admire that about him. “I’m here on behalf of the Callax College of Artisans to let you know that the Crystal Point facility is on the verge of collapsing, and it should be fixed immediately.”

~ * ~

You were having a nice conversation but you ruined it, Arondeus thought, despair worming its way into his thoughts as he saw the stunned, then outraged look on Nerites’ face. “I mean, it’s--”

“I hope there is some kind of meaning of this,” Nerites snapped. His features, already beautiful in the way that buildings facades could be, or statues or paintings, darkened with anger, affronted by the claim. “I’d like to think I’d know if something was happening to one of my facilities.”

“We did… send a report about it,” Arondeus said slowly. “About two weeks ago, I was trying to find out if you’d seen it when I visited your office. I didn’t… have an appointment.”

“So that’s why you were lurking around my office.” The Executive closed his eyes and brought up his fingers to pinch the bridge of his nose, thinking. “Give me the summary of your report now, I can read the full thing later.”

“I… yes, of course,” Arondeus said. “Right away. The Crystal Point facility was built on an area previously designated as swampland. It was drained and the land reworked several times before it became the facility’s site, about thirty years ago. Initial construction didn’t take into account the fact that the land was unstable.”

“Why would it be unstable if the land was drained and worked?” Nerites asked, opening his eyes again. His eyes were a piercing violet, and catching his gaze caused Arondeus to abruptly forget how to breathe. “Well?”

Stare less, do your job more, Arondeus chastised himself. “A farm’s fields are only worked so far down. The weight pressed onto the land isn’t as significant as a major manufacturing facility. The waterways run far deeper than most people would realize and they’re collapsing. Right now, the whole facility will sink about a centimetre in the next year, and accelerate after that.”

“A centimetre doesn’t seem all that significant in the grand scheme of things.”

“It’s an entire factory shifting, it’s… the walls and floor won’t be even, everything will buckle and twist. Some buildings can stand shifts like that, but most don’t, and certainly not one that requires precision engineering.”

“What are our options, in that case?” Nerites asked, frowning thoughtfully. “We can’t very well pack up and move it.”

“It might actually be possible,” Arondeus said. “We would need to discuss it, bring in a team of engineers…”

[poisonedfortunecookie]

*arrives 2 days late with starbucks fluff fic*

So all my fluff week things are going to be late now, oh ell guess I’ll be drawing out this event as long as I can. As a side note I know absolutely nothing about surfing so I am trusting google for the things in this fic. If i did get anything horribly wrong please let me know. 

prompt: sea/stars

words: 2,645

summary: Lance gives Shiro a basic surfing lesson on a alien beach 

The sea was a soft purple and deadly acidic filling the air with a sharp, pungent smell similar to vinegar. It was a smell the pinched your nose and make your eyes water. The eerie scenery combined with the off putting smell certainly didn't make it a spot to rest at an admire after finishing a long battle to save the planet, but that was exactly what Lance did.

He sat on the sand, which was somehow safe to walk on, to touch despite having a faint green tint that made it look mouldy, and watched the sea.

The sounds were the same. The rush and whisper of the water as the tided flowed sneaking up on the green sand. A cool breeze carried across the open expanse of water carrying the acidic tang towards him somewhat ruining the image, but if he closed his eyes, scrunched his nose up as tight as he could to block out the smell as much as possible, then he could pretend. It was still the ocean, still familiar even if everything was slightly off making it feel like a fevered dream.

“How long are you planning to stay here?” A voice interrupted his admiration of the sea, but Lance couldn't look away, not even when it was Shiro speaking to him.

“Just a little longer, maybe until it gets dark,” he mused dreamily as if he wished he could stay forever.

“If you stay here that long the tide might come in and get you,” Shiro warned but still Lance wouldn't look away. He smiled fondly, admiring the sight of Lance so quiet, so mesmerised by something, for a moment. He looked so peaceful.

The long silence that followed was punctuated by a shuffling, the weight of another body settling down on the sand next to Lance, not so close that they touched but close enough they could sense the other next to them, almost feel their body heat.

“Coran is making a fuss about running you post battle check ups,” Shiro grinned with a taunting tone though Lance could already tell he had no intention of forcing him to go back.

“I'll go later. I didn't get so much as a scratch that battle was a piece of cake,” Lance turned to Shiro with the same soft smile he'd been watching the ocean with, a smile that made Shiro's breath catch in his throat.

It was a relaxed, sad smile. A smile of longing for something he missed, and relief at finding something close to it.

Shiro could leave Lance to stay here as long as he needed, but that didn't mean he had to leave the young man to stay here all alone.

“It is kinda pretty in a way,” Shiro commented taking in the purple water and the way the setting sun made the colours look darker, more vibrant.

“Hmmm, it's a shame we can't go for a swim.” Lance mumbled to himself, disappointed. Shiro didn't answer but leaned closer, still not touching but letting Lance know he was there.

“Do you think it would turn our skin purple?” Lance asked his head tilted to one side.

“It depends what's in the water that's making it purple I guess. At the very least it might give a purple tinge to your skin until you wash it off.”

“But if it did dye you purple it might be a good disguise to infiltrate the Galra. Think it'll fool them?” Lance chuckled making Shiro laugh.

“What is it about the sea that you like so much?” Shiro asked once the laughter had died down and they'd lulled into silence.

Lance smiled fondly at the water taking a moment to gather his words before he spoke.

“Did you know I grew up in Cuba? This beautiful place right on the beach so the sea always makes me think of home.” He started. Shiro didn’t bother to answer, it wasn't a question Lance needed an answer to. He just needed to talk.

“It was always overrun by entitled tourists in the summer of course but even then it was still beautiful. The golden sands and warm inviting water,” he scooped up a handful of the green sand letting the grains run through his fingers before wiping his hand clean on his thigh.

“The sound of the sea was always with me growing up. It was there when I walked to school. It was here every night to sing me to sleep. It watched over me whenever I want out to play with my friends. The sound of the ocean is just so familiar and calming, it feels like it's whispering all it's secrets to me,”

Lance looked over at Shiro and frowned at the warm, tender smile on the other man's face.

“Don't laugh,” he grumbled flushing in embarrassment know that what he'd said sounded extremely sappy and probably really dumb.

“I'm not laughing promise. That was very sweet, poetic even,” Shiro replied his grin growing wider, a fond, gentle feeling blooming in his chest as he watched the blush on Lance's cheeks grow darker.

Lance groaned and hid his head between his knees.

“Just forget everything I just said, please,” he begged voice muffled.

Shiro struggled to bite back a snicker.

“I used to surf a lot you know,” Lance said suddenly, clearly a distraction. Shiro made no comment.

“I like swimming best but surfing is really fun, especially in the summer. We used to hire out board and give lessons to tourists for extra pocket money. Surfing around Cuba isn't like the big leagues but you can get some good waves if you know where to look, mostly it's small waves that are good for beginners though.”

“You can surf?” Shiro asked with a quirked eyebrow. He sounded impressed.

“Yeah well you know, it's no big deal,” Lance said scratching the back of his neck his head bowed bashfully.

“I mean most of the waves I'm used to are pretty small so it's not like I'm a pro or anything, but I can hold my own,” he continued pushing his shoulders back, his chest puffed out at the look Shiro was giving him. It felt good to have the other man's full attention, for him to look so interested.

“That's pretty cool. I've always wanted to try surfing,” Shiro said brightly.

“Really? Well I can teach you if you like. First lessons on the house,” Lance answered with a wink.

“I may just take you up on that offer.”

“Great! Then no time like the present, let's get you started,” Lance said jumping to his, brushing the sand off his backside.

“Now? Uh….did you forget the sea is dangerously acidic?” Shiro asked tentatively not wanting to upset Lance.

Lance rolled his eyes resting his hands on his hips with a huff.

“Of course not, and while it's not ideal you can't go onto the water right away the first lesson is always on land,” Lance said authoritatively. His serious mood lasted for only a second longer before his face split in to the usual goofy grin.

“Plus we don't have any surfboards either so we'll have to make do.”

He took a few brisk steps away from Shiro stopping to draw two identical surfboard like shapes in the sand, drawing a line down the middle of each of them.

“And these are our surfboards. First lessons starts now.” Lance said extending a hand to Shiro.

“Yes sir,” Shiro chuckled taking Lance's hand letting him help him up and drag him over to the 'surfboards'.

“First things first we need to figure out if you're goofy footed or not.”

“Pardon?” Shiro looked at Lance, wondering if the other man was pulling his leg. Lance smiled sheepishly but he looked serious.

“It's a thing honest, it just means which foot is your front foot. For surfing there a 'better' foot but really your balance is more important. Since we're doing this may as well find out. Now turn around so I can shove you.”

“Lance, are you taking this seriously?” Shiro asked crossing his arms over his chest.

“I am I am. This is the easiest way. I'm going to push you from behind and whichever foot you step forward with you catch yourself is your front foot. Easy.” Lance said brightly. Shiro didn't look too convinced but he turned his back to Lance dropping his arms to his sides.

There was a moment of hesitation then Lance pushed him. It was just a gentle shove really, Lance's hands pressing against his shoulder blades, lingering for a moment before pushing forward.  Shiro's left food went forward.

“And you're a natural,” Lance announced.

“Good to know. So which foot are you?” Shiro asked turning back to Lance.

“Guess,” he grinned back, challenging.

“Hmm.” Shiro paused.

“It's ok you can say it, I know you want to say goofy.” Lance teased.

“Naturally I am goofy but I'm actually a switch footer,” Lance said proudly. Shiro wasn't really sure what that meant but he could tell it was something to be impressed by so he gave it the proud smile it deserved.

Lance looked away bashfully coughing to clear his throat.

“Right next we'll run through a pop up.” Lance said moving to stand in one of the surfboard outlines gesturing for Shiro to take position in the other.

Shiro moved obediently to the other surfboard looking to Lance for instruction.

“Ok so imagine this line is right through the middle of the board,” Lance said pointing to the rough line he'd drawn in the sand.

“You start off by lying on the board, with the line going own the middle of your body,” he explained lying down on his stomach on the sand gesturing for Shiro to follow him.

“So you place your hands on the board at the bottom of your ribcage, kinda like you're doing a press up, and push up to arch your back keeping your pelvis and thighs and all that on the board,” Lance instructed as he flowed through the movement, Shiro following him a carefully his own movements awkward as he tried to copy Lance.

“Good!” Lance grinned encouragingly.

“Now your toes need to be on the back of the board. You're going to twist your shoulders, push off with your toes and bring your front foot through between your hands,” Lance said moving so he now stood crouched on the board his left leg forward.

Shiro followed, wobbling slightly at he swung his leg forward.

“Then you can stand up a little higher but keep your knees bent,” Lance instructed moving again.

“To keep your balance you need to have a good stance, use this line on the board. You need to keep your feet on it, always try to stand with the line going through the arches of your feet.

“Your back foot should be at about a ninety degree angle, and your front foot about a forty five degree. Keep your knees bent, legs a little wider than shoulder width. You put your hands up to help steer but you need to use your hips for balance too.”

Shiro copied as best he could though he was still quite awkward not sure if what he was doing was right at all, plus he was sure he looked like an idiot.

“And did you know a bad stance is called a poo stance,” Lance interrupted with a cheeky grin. Shiro forgot all about feeling awkward.

“A what?”

“A poo stance. You know because it kind like like you're crouched over the toilet doing a shi-”

“Ok I get it!” Shiro cut him off before he could swear. Lance grinned impishly.

“So now you just need to imagine that you're stood on a surfboard on the water, the sea moving under you and you need to keep your balance.” Lance said swaying slightly his stance confident and firm.

Shiro tried to copy, tried to move the same way as Lance. Shiro frowned in concentration, looking down at his feet adjusting his stance wondering if it was right. He didn't see Lance's hand sneak towards him until he felt a firm shove against his chest. He fell flat on his ass so surprised that he didn't even have the chance to yell.

“Sorry,” Lance sputtered pressing his hand over his mouth in an attempt to stifle his laughter.

“It's just, your stance was so bad and your balance was clearly off. I didn't expect you to fall so easily,” he gasped between giggles.

Recovering from his surprise Shiro scowled up at him eyes narrowed dangerously.

“Shiro? I said I was sorry,” Lance said warily taking a cautious step back at Shiro's stern glare.

Getting slowly to his feet Shiro brushed the sand off the seat of his pants his expression stony. He didn't say a word.

“Shiro?”

Shiro lifted his head looked straight at Lance, and smirked

“Oh quiznak no,” Lance yelped. He turned tail and ran. Shiro shot after him a split second later. The brief head start Lance had wasn't enough. Shiro caught him easily swooping Lance up into his arms carrying him bridal style.

“Shiro what are you-?” Lance struggled, trying to break free but Shiro's grip was strong. Shiro jogged towards the water swinging Lance back in his arms as if he planned to throw him in.

“Shiro wait! Acid water acid water!” Lance screamed wrapping his arms tightly around the other man's neck he clung on for dear life.

Shiro continued to jog, swinging Lance forward as if he couldn't hear him. Lance screamed tucking his head into Shiro's neck. He squeezed tighter.

Using the momentum from the swing Shiro came to an abrupt stop and spun in a circle, Lance still held securely in his arms.

Lance hardly noticed, his eyes screwed tightly shut waiting for the bite of acid against his skin at any moment. It never came. Shiro laugh, the sound making Shiro's chest jump against him making Lance look up finally realising he was still safe.

“I wasn't actually going to throw you in,” Shiro smiled innocently.

“You-” Lance took a deep breath, then went limp his head falling on Shiro's shoulder.

“I thought I was going to die!” he exclaimed dramatically making Shiro laugh again.

The weight of Lance felt good in his arms, his warmth against his chest comforting and safe. Shiro wanted to curl around that feeling, maybe sit with Lance in his lap and just hold him. It felt nice.

“So, are you going to put me down?” Lance asked his voice a low whisper. He didn't sound particularly desperate to be put down but they couldn't stand there all day.

“Right,” Shiro nodded turning away from the sea he walked back up the beach still carrying Lance for a few steps wanting to savour the feeling before he set the other man down.

He set him down next to their surfboards drawn in the sand. Lance pulled away from him slowly, Shiro's arms lingering around Lance's waist just as Lance's arms lingered around Shiro's neck.

“I can't believe you did something like that though. Who knew you could be so fun,” Lance laughed off his awkwardness.

“You don't think I'm fun?” Shiro asked softly, feigning hurt.

“No that's not what I-” Lance abruptly cut himself off as he saw the sly smile Shiro was struggling to hide.

“Why you-” Lance shoved Shiro firmly in the shoulder. Shiro lost all composure and burst out laughing.

“That's it, get ready I'm going to get you for this!” Lance grinned rolling up his sleeves.

“You'll have to catch me first!” Shiro taunted before taking off across the beach Lance hot on his heels.

Their laughter filled the air, the pair of them cashing each other across the alien beach until the tide came in.