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the-sprog · 3 months ago

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I know I said I'd do a poll but uuuuhhh I don't wanna wait long enough to get more options and I have ✨Ideas and opinions✨

C!Thomas: Honestly (DC's) Captain Marvel was a stroke of genius on my part. However if I wanna go for something strictly Thomas with no sides influences uuuuuhhhhh I have nothing. Spider-man kinda sorta fits but if Peter's anything he's NOT a man of theater.

Logan: Batman and Bruce Banner are both great options imo I don't know much about Banner, but a man of science with anger issues, overlooked and underestimated by people? Yeah. Batman's got the smarts, the mental health that applies to everyone but himself, he's autistic, he's ocd, he's angry. He is, however , ultimately also a ditsy father of 8. So. Iron man was suggested, but I don't think he fits as much. He's a genius, yes. And he's arrogant and self centered. But he's also a showman first and foremost. Not in the same way Roman and Thomas are, but in the same way Brucie Wayne is. He's messy and unorganized. I think the emotional suppression is an important part of Logan, and I don't really see it as a theme in Iron Man. I also do not like Iron Man, but hey I don't like Batman either so it's not that I'm biased 🤣 if we want to go with other marvel scientists Reed Richards is there but he also sucks and I don't want to touch that with a ten foot pole. I also thought about Prodigy but I'd have to look into that one more closely.

Roman: I had ✨options✨ because I feel like it's easy to go "oh well he's stereotypical superhero!" And assign him characters that are popular. But I think I struck gold with Human Torch there for a bit. I got a more in dept look at Johnny's characterization in my bkdk spideypool post and the insecurity? The search for love? The commitment? The jealousy? The playboy persona because that's what everyone expects of him? The family of geniuses that he feels alienated in? Thor was suggested also. And I'm not mad about this one. I can understand it wholeheartedly. Thor's got a bit more seriousness in him, Roman is a little sillier, but I think there's a lot about Thor, especially his backstory and familial drama, that would resonate with Roman. It does help that he's also the prince of Asgard (there was also a Spidey ask I want to get into but that's gonna be LONG so it's gonna be its own post where I answer that). I was also thinking Scarlet Which but that would be entirely aesthetic based. And also because comic books Quicksilver is... Truly something alright!

Remus: Deadpool is the basic-est choice for him. He's crass and disgusting and childish. He's abrasive and obnoxious and so purposefully indignant. Plays the role of the bad guy because he does it well, people expect it from him, and he doesn't want people better than him to have to take a step into his direction. I think this fits. Loki was suggested, which would make sense for the Roman Thor thing, but Loki is more... Clever? He's the Yakko to Remus's Wakko. He's the clever puns and trickery, to Remus' physical gags and stinky jokes. So I don't really see it other than the green. OH god I'm either gonna have to draw a yellow Loki or a green Janus and I don't know which unsettled me more.

Janus: Loki. I don't know how I didn't fucking see it. But Loki. It does put Roman and Janus in a weird position where the family tree in this AU is a fucking mess. But alas. I'm talking specifically Teenage!Loki of the West coast Avengers. Regular Loki isn't a hero. He's not even really morally gray. He's pissed, he's bored, but he's not doing shit out of the goodness of his heart. He's doing it because he's Chaotic Neutral. He's a trickster, he's mischievous, he's causing trouble on purpose and hurting everyone in the process because it's funny. Teen!Loki however comes to care. About the people of Midgard, about his brother, about himself. And he makes a decision: to play the part everyone has forced onto him. The villain. That's what's expected of him, so that is the part he'll play. And he'll play you like the cheap kazoo you are because before you know it he's using your preconceived notions of him to twist the outcome to his favour, which is ultimately to the greater good. And sure he might've ruined his relationship with his friends and Thor might not ever trust him again but... they're alive and well now. So that's all that matters. I did also briefly think Magneto but that was purely based on sense of justice and righteous anger. Mystique might also fit but that's a hard character to make into someone else without it just being her shapeshifting y'know. Anyway can you tell that Janus is my favorite?

Virgil: this one has me stumped. He will come up in the Roman Spider-man post. So won't be talking Spider-man here. However. I have proposed 3 main options myself. Rogue, the girl who kills everything she touches. Makes her anxious, scared of interacting with other people. She thinks of herself as a villain because with abilities like hers how can she be anything but? Hawkeye, because Clint Barton is a mess of a man. Lives off coffee in an apartment building he accidentally bought from the Bulgarian/Russian mafia. Has a troubled past of murder, trickery, and circus acts. He struggles but has a great support system which kind of mostly includes women he's slept with and the girl he took under his wing (even though she's leagues more well adjusted than him). Intimidating like only a spy can be, but if you've seen him trip on his dog and spill coffee on both he dog and himself well... He kinda looses some of the intimidation factor don't he? And lastly Bucky Barnes. This one is purely because Bucky is the angst baby (alongside Jason Todd) of comic books c'mon. I did also say Gambit but again that's kinda mostly because of the purple lol.

Patton: the one I struggle with the most. Tempted to go with Nightwing but... There just isn't anything I feel fits well! Sue Storm maybe? Parentification is what I'm leaning towards here. Sue also does have children. Cheerful front because they've got people to take care of, used to have all the answers and questions self worth now that they don't anymore, strong moral compass that gets tested everyday and gets bent a little sometimes which makes them feel dirty. Idk. I'm so fucking stuck with Patton. I'm gonna have to look into her more but The Unbeatable Squirrel girl is a good option. She's not a mom but she does have an army of pet squirrels. She defeats people by essentially befriending them. She's bubbly. I can see it.

The heroes don't have to be men btw. I can and will "Hawkeye Project" this shit.

I need to make a Sanders Sides as superheroes drawing

But not like... Roman if he were a superhero. I mean which DC/Marvel hero would they be "variants" of.

I need opinions. Send me options. I'll make polls after I get a few.

Expect Remus. He's Deadpool. That one's easy.

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seattlesea · 4 years ago

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bad representation in the riordanverse

Racism:

-Gave Hazel and Piper gold and ‘kaleidoscope’/brown-blue-green changing eyes and pretty much went ‘Let’s add some characters of color but they cANT HAVE BROWN EYES THAT’S NOT PRETTY ENOUGH’ as if whitewashing isn’t more than just the skin.

-East Asian characters: Riordan pretty much went 'Here are my East Asian characters- one of them looks like a fat baby on steroids and is super undeveloped, his mother is strict and cold, and all the others are just described as 'Asian' because different countries in Asia don't exist and there's obviously no difference between Japanese, Chinese, and Korean'. His portrayal of East Asian characters went like this: Frank: Chinese, chubby, hates himself, underdeveloped, described to look like a 'Chinese Canadian baby man' and a 'panda' as if that's not stereotyping, and only learned to love himself when he looked hotter. Drew: Asian, villainized, rude, shallow, vain, and selfish. Ethan: Asian, rude, evil, a traitor, and deceased. Grandma Zhang- rude, strict, cold, traditional, and deceased.

-Hazel: Has gold eyes. Has 'cinnamon brown' hair even though dark brown or black hair would be way more inclusive and realistic. Had a mother portrayed as a rude and selfish witch who sacrificed, used, and trafficked her own child. Was the only character called or described as a witch while African-Americans were usually accused of witchcraft just for their skin color. Was the only character who was cursed. Had a mother who literally practiced voodoo. The only African-American character in the series before ToA who isn't dead (but she also died). Was paired with a sixteen year old guy even though African women are constantly forced with older men and that's blatantly racist stereotyping.

-Piper: Had 'chocolate brown' and then 'mahogany' hair? Has kaleidoscope eyes. Put a feather in her hair (which is stereotyping)- and it was an eagle feather, which is also wrong because eagles are extremely sacred to First Nation tribes and only spiritual leaders or warriors can wear it or it has to be gifted by an Elder of the tribe, and Riordan basically went 'Feathers are very important and it's racist to make a character wear one at inappropriate times but I'm going to make my character wear one as a cute accessory to make her look cool, pretty, and headstrong and to add to her 'Aesthetic'’ even though Cherokees didn’t wear feathers (which proves he did the bare minimum of research). Constantly oversexualized (56% of First Nation women are sexually harassed and Riordan had the audacity to put Piper in an 'embarrassingly low v-neck' and to have her constantly drooled over by a WHITE MALE and have her sexualized by her 1000+ mother without her knowledge or consent). It's said that her father was from a reservation in Oklahoma...but there are no reservations in Oklahoma, only cultural centers (which also proves that he did the bare minimum of research). She's the only First Nations character and she's the only character (besides Nancy Bobofit) depicted as a kleptomaniac (First Nations people are constantly called thieves by racist assholes). “The week before, he’d turned down several million dollars to play Tonto in a remake of The Lone Ranger. Piper was still trying to figure out why. He’d played all kinds of roles—a Latino teacher in a tough L.A. school, a dashing Israeli spy in an action-adventure blockbuster, even a Syrian terrorist in a James Bond movie. And, of course, he would always be known as the King of Sparta. But if the part was Native American—it didn’t matter what kind of role it was—Dad turned it down.” (The Lost Hero, page 165). So her father is fine with playing an extremely racist and stereotypical Middle Eastern role but not a First Nations role. Uses a cornucopia as a weapon (how she got it- cutting it off a half-bull- is disrespectful to her culture as hurting an animal is banned and she used a cornucopia- a symbol of Thanksgiving- as a weapon). Cut her hair, which is basically taboo in First Nations culture.

-Samirah: Had an arranged marriage (at age twelve, and she believed that she was groomed to be married to a rich and respectable family and nothing else). Ripped off her hijab in front of tons of male characters. The only Muslim character. The only Muslim character and she's the only character who married her cousin (you're supposed to break stereotypes, not enforce them).

Thomas Jefferson Jr: Said that he was thankful to the British for not siding with the South during the American Civil War even though they needed the South's cotton (but they didn't side with the North either). AKA a black man and son of a freed slave was thankful to Britain for not openly oppressing him? And at the same time he was named after a racist slave-owner.

Reyna: She's brown and her entire story revolves around her being independent, strong, alone, and self-sufficient but also desperately needing love and support but then Riordan says that she can't get her heart healed AKA she went through an abusive home, killed her father, left her sister, felt alone her whole life, worked a two-person job alone for months, and had to put on a brave face for others throughout all this then was literally told 'Shut up no one wants to hear about your struggles, just suck it up and deal with it’ and have you seen all the shit brown girls have to go through and keep silent about it?

Extra: -Latino, Puerto Rican, African-American, Chinese-Canadian, East Asian, First Nations, etc. characters and the two most powerful, best, and most skilled characters and who the stories mostly revolve around are two white guys AKA white supremacy.

-"Harriet Tubman, daughter of Hermes, used many mortals on her Underground Railroad for just this reason" and that World War II was caused by a child of Zeus and a child of Hades fighting very blatantly erases the shit those people went through and Riordan just went 'Let's use these racist movements as little easter eggs in my story'.

-Thanatos, who was chained and enslaved, is described with dark skin.

-Riordan writing the characters went a little something like this: Drew: You get common Eastern Asian features like dark hair and eyes because you're arrogant, selfish, conceited, and rude, and because you're an antagonist and you're going to be used to make one of my protagonists- who has unique traits- look good so you're going to have the basic, 'boring' physical traits so the readers know who's the more superior of the two of you. Leo: You get common Latino features like curly dark hair, dark eyes, and light brown skin cause you're the weird, hyperactive unattractive one who's very flirty but constantly gets rejected and you're the only main character without a love interest and the only way you can get a girlfriend is when she's forced to fall in love with you through a curse. Frank: You get common Chinese features like dark hair and eyes cause you're the fat unattractive loser who catches the eye of the African character who already has unique and 'special' traits so you don't have to be super attractive. Reyna: You get common Puerto Rican traits like dark skin, hair, and eyes cause you're the stoic, lonely, intimidating, and cold one who wants all the guys (two white guys for that matter) but none of them want you and they both have girlfriends with traits like blonde hair and gray and kaleidoscope eyes so the readers know who are the more interesting couples. Piper and Hazel: You two get eurocentric features because you're the main characters I have to set apart from everyone else- including other females whom I'm going to make one of you rivals with- so the readers know who's more superior so I'm giving you unique eye colors that literally cannot be found in humans so I'm going to try to validate it by saying that it's from something mildly associated with your godly parent even though neither of them have those traits. Riordan basically said that the common features are bad and boring and that unique and special features- aka features not found in those ethnicities- are good and cool. Also- if gods don’t have DNA how can their traits be passed down to their demigod children checkmate Riordan.

-Cecil Markowitz is the only Jewish character in PJO and the first thing used to describe him is "That kid, always thinking about the potential payout".

-Lavinia said that she was going to bring her date to her bat mitzvah even though you don't bring dates to bat mitzvahs or bar mitzvahs and she said that it was 'awkward' to tell her rabbi that someone was going to be her date even though you don't explain your guestlist to your rabbi, and they're most likely not even going to be at the party.

-Only three Latino and Puerto Rican characters (Leo, Reyna, and Hylla) and all three came from abusive households.

-Leo said 'Mamacita' as if that's not stereotyping.

-Made Nico ‘pale’ even though he had olive skin and gave him black hair and dark eyes despite Italians usually having light hair and eyes just to add to his ‘Goth Boy Aesthetic’.

-Hazel described Pluto to look like Adolf Hitler.

-Carter Kane said that Elvis took African-American music and made it sound like rock 'n roll and described it as cool- like no it’s cultural appropriation.

-Leo was abused and Riordan thought that it'd be funny to make all the other characters line up to punch him and then try to make it look funny.

-Gave almost every single POC character a white name and sometimes gave them white first names and POC surnames, and Reyna and Bianca are the only POC characters with names from their culture/native language and one of them is dead and reborn as someone else and the other’s full name wasn’t revealed until the fourth book in her series and she hates using it.

-Made two POC characters with names from their culture- Samirah and Olujime- go by white nicknames (Sam and Jamie) to make it ‘easier to read’ despite having white characters with the same amount of syllables in their names (like Annabeth) that didn’t go by nicknames.

-Never actually described the characters of color with physical traits from their ethnicities (Reyna, Hylla, and Leo with big eyes, thick eyebrows, brown hair, wide noses, full lips, etc., Piper with almost-oriental eyes, shovel teeth, high cheekbones, black hair, etc., Nico with light or brown hair and eyes, olive skin, a narrow nose, etc., Hazel with a wide nose and lips, dark brown eyes, black or dark brown hair, big eyes, thick eyebrows, etc.).

Anti-LGBTQ+:

-Nico was forcibly outed by Cupid and Riordan and the fandom didn't care and the only thing they thought was 'Aww, he has a crush on Percy! So cute!' AKA romanticizing a forced outing.

-Riordan said that he didn't want to make Reyna lesbian or bisexual because he thought it'd be stereotypical making her LGBTQ+ because she didn't want men anymore even though she could've been bisexual all along but Riordan casually dismissed the idea of that saying "Having a girl end up with a woman after dating men is a bad stereotype" and basically said that real bi girls don’t exist.

-The Hunters of Artemis were made so Artemis/Diana could protect those girls from men and their behavior towards women but Riordan dismissed lesbian relationships- even though nothing about that was said in real Greek mythology- meaning that he thinks that women need protection from other women just as much as they need protection from men.

-Alex Fierro is the only gender-fluid or transgender character and she/he’s seen as rude, snarky, and sharp and Magnus could magically tell when Alex changed gender.

-Riordan said that he wouldn’t make Reyna a lesbian because of stereotypes despite the reader asking if Reyna was going to get a girlfriend, not come out as lesbian AKA Riordan thinks ‘Girls liking girls’ is automatically ‘lesbian’ and completely dismissed bi, pan, poly, omni, etc. girls.

-Used a self-insert to make fun of wlw readers who saw themself in Reyna and thought she could be a cool character to relate to.

-Enforced LGBTQ+ stereotypes like the cold-hearted Asexual, the flamboyant bi/pan, the snarky gender-fluid, the emo gay, the laid-back and rebellious lesbian who dyed her hair pink and chews a lot of bubblegum, etc.

-Has one-hundred fifty-five characters total minus gods/goddesses, Titans, giants, nymphs, dryads, satyrs, monsters, etc. and only has fifteen confirmed LGBTQ+ characters (do the math, that’s exactly one out of ten regarding OCs).

-Only one character that isn’t cishet.

-Saves most the LGBTQ+ for the side characters or only confirms characters LGBTQ+ once they’ve become a minor character despite being a main character before.

-Only stated that Reyna was Asexual outside of his books and on Twitter as if that’s not exactly what J.K Rowling is doing.

-Used the LGBTQ+ community to make Piper seem like the ‘special snowflake’ and to set her apart from her siblings to make it seem like she’s better than all of them and used Hera/Juno and Aphrodite/Venus as excuses for his homophobic mindset that believes that straight is the default cause “Suddenly, much of what she and I had talked about started to make sense. Not being defined by Aphrodite’s expectations. Or Hera’s ideas of what a perfect couple looked like. Piper finding her own way, not the one people expected of her” in synonymous words is 'The expectations for love and the idea of a perfect couple are a heterosexual relationship, and anyone who 'finds their own way instead of the ones people expect' are different'. ‘Different’ and ‘default’ are antonyms AKA if he thinks that LGBTQ+ people are ‘different’, he thinks that straight is the ‘default’. Remember- an author writes their own personal beliefs.

-Josephine is the only black LGBTQ+ character.

-Reyna is said to be Asexual despite feeling sexual attraction towards Percy cause no one likes someone five minutes after knowing them and it’s anything but sexual attraction.

-Magnus and Alex are the only LGBTQ+ relationship whose growth and development is actually shown in the story (while there was also Apollo and Commodus, Piper and Shel, Will and Nico, Apollo and Hyacinthus, Emmie and Jo, Lavinia and Poison Oak, etc.).

-Riordan never canonically said the name of any sexuality and is clearly uncomfortable with the LGBTQ+ community shown by his little to no writing regarding physical affection and deep emotions in his LGBTQ+ relationships.

-Only added in LGBTQ+ relationships for publicity- Percy Jackson and the Olympians release dates: 2005-2009. 2005-2009: LGBTQ+ support was nearly at an all-time low. No LGBTQ+ characters, relationships, or references in the books. The Lost Hero-The Mark of Athena release dates: 2010-2012. 2010-2012: LGBTQ+ support was still very low. Still no LGBTQ+ characters, relationships, or references in the books. The House of Hades release date: late 2013. Mid-2013: the giant spike for LGBTQ+ support and allies. One confirmed LGBTQ+ character. The Sword of Summer release date: late 2015. 2015: LGBTQ+ support was good and gay marriage was legalized. A few LGBTQ+ references but no confirmed characters. The Hammer of Thor and The Ship of the Dead release dates: 2016-2017. 2016-2017: LGBTQ+ support was quite high. Two confirmed LGBTQ+ characters and the first canon LGBTQ+ relationship and kiss. The Trials of Apollo release dates: 2016-2020. 2016-2020: LGBTQ+ support was very high. More LGBTQ+ characters confirmed in one book than all the other series combined. Kind of obvious he was just following the public opinion.

-Legit said ‘Reyna can’t like girls cause she has had crushes on guys before’.

Ableism:

-It was heavily implied in The Battle of the Labyrinth that Rachel Dare had schizophrenia/psychosis but it's never brought up again.

-Grover's fake feet made it look like he was disabled from the Mist and it was said that he was bullied because of it but it was never brought up again.

-It was said that Tyson looked like he had down syndrome from the Mist covering his one eye but it was never brought up again.

-It was stated that every character but Frank has ADHD and dyslexia but never actually showed any symptoms after Percy Jackson and the Olympians and characters like Piper and Leo were even able to read English writing throughout The Lost Hero and the only symptom of ADHD Riordan showed through his characters was ‘a lot of fidgeting’ as if that’s not a blatant stereotype.

Pedophilia:

-Luke, a twenty-two/twenty-three year old had a crush on Annabeth, a sixteen year old. That's a six-seven year age gap.

-The only two girls put into relationships with much older men are black (Hazel and Sadie).

-Hazel, a thirteen year old, got together with a sixteen year old guy. Hazel's crush on Frank is normal- a girl having a crush on an older guy, but Frank's crush on Hazel is disgusting- an older guy looking down at a child and thinking about making out with her.

Misogyny:

-Aphrodite's kids are seen as useless, weak, snobby, shallow, vain, and selfish just because they’re feminine.

-Riordan portrayed Aphrodite’s kids as feminine despite Aphrodite being the goddess of love and beauty, not femininity, as if romance and beauty are reserved for women only.

-Piper is the only 'tomboy' child of Aphrodite and she's portrayed as tougher, stronger, and better than her feminine siblings (and it's portrayed that way multiple times throughout the story like other characters telling Piper she’s "-tough for a child of Aphrodite").

-Piper immediately stereotyped and disliked every single feminine character like Drew and the rest of the Aphrodite cabin just because they liked makeup and skirts as if that’s not shallow criticism.

-Feminine characters like Drew, Isabel, Khione, and Medea are used or even created solely as antagonists to make Piper- the tomboy- look better.

-Calypso is the only feminine character and she sucks at everything.

-Riordan’s take on female characters: Drew: a vain, rude, selfish, snobby, and bitchy mean girl. Silena: a shallow traitor. Reyna: a cold-hearted robot. Piper: internalized misogyny that was never brought up again. Calypso: an island whore. Athena: a rude, aggressive bitch with no emotions. Aphrodite: shallow, vain, conceited, and self-centered. Hera: completely evil with no backstory added into it. Marie: an evil witch who selfishly used and sacrificed her daughter.

-The Hunters of Artemis were blessed by Artemis to protect them from men but Riordan made it only about the men in their lives (again) and portrayed the whole 'losing men' thing like it was a burden and that they're 'giving men up' even though they join the Hunters to leave men. He distorted the original meaning of the Hunters- protecting women- by making it about the Hunters hating and being forced to leave men even though they're asking to have no men in their lives, cause that's the point of it.

-The Amazons and Hunters of Artemis despise men and literally attack them if they so much as speak as if sexism is reserved for women only.

-Portrayed femininity as weakness (and masculinity as strength, it’s even in the word- tomBOY).

-Constantly pit women against women for the sake of romance and love triangles instead of normalizing women getting along despite liking the same people and let the female’s relationships get controlled and influenced by the men in their lives.

-The men always outpower the women in powers and skills. Riordan’s portrayal of powers and characters- Percy: You’re going to have epic water powers and can even create your own personal hurricanes and even though you’ve only been canonically training for eight months total you’re going to be the best swordfighter despite multiple characters having years more training than you. Jason: You’re going to be able to fly, control lightning, create storms, and electric shock people into another dimension. Leo: You’re going to be able to create and control fire and blow shit up with just a screwdriver. Frank: You’re going to be able to shape-shift into any animal you want, even a whole dragon. Nico: You’re going to be able to control darkness and shadows, literally teleport, and raise a whole army of undead soldiers. Reyna: Powers? Nah, your only ability is to lend strength to others as if that benefits you at all. Annabeth: Powers? Nah. Piper: You’re going to be able to manipulate and seduce people and are literally going to use your body and attractiveness as a weapon and your power is literally called charmspeak. Hazel: You have more powers than all the other characters combined that can literally destroy anyone in less than a second but you’re never going to use them or even remember that you have them cause screw the female character being more powerful than the males.

-The men always accomplish the most incredible feats and if the females ever do accomplish something great (Reyna healing the riff and defeating Orion while the Hunters and Amazons couldn’t combined, Annabeth going through Tartarus, Hazel learning to control the Mist, etc.) they are never praised or rewarded or all the credit goes to the men.

-Ares/Mars in real Greek/Roman mythology was the feminist patron of the Amazons who loved his daughter very much and killed a rapist but was portrayed as the dumb, cruel asshole who loved nothing but bloodshed and tried to kill a twelve year-old kid who was trying to help him while Poseidon/Neptune in real Greek/Roman mythology was a greedy, short-tempered, and arrogant asshole who raped almost as much women than Zeus/Jupiter but was portrayed as the kind, caring, and gentle father figure.

Fatophobia:

-Frank is the only chubby character and he hates himself because of it, was constantly fat-shamed, and only learned to love himself after he got rippling abs, muscles, and looked hotter (because fat = ugly in Riordan’s mind, even though it's not).

-Clovis was depicted with a pot-belly and Drew described him as 'repulsive'.

-Dionysus/Bacchus is also depicted with a pot-belly and he's portrayed as a useless, rude, lazy, and drunken asshole.

Lookism:

Basically how Riordan wrote his characters- Percy, Annabeth, Jason, Reyna, Hazel, Piper, and most minor protagonists: You’re all going to be super attractive, have at least one character or more pining for you, have your looks constantly commented on, and some of you will even use your looks as a weapon cause that’s not obvious sexualization cause you’re all the main characters and protagonists that readers need to know are the protagonists. Nico, Leo, and Frank: You three are originally portrayed as unattractive but at some points are described as cute and two of you are insecure about your looks cause you’re scrawny and chubby and one of you hates yourself cause of your body and only learn to love yourself once you magically gain abs cause more muscle obviously equals more attractiveness. Luke, Silena, Chris, and Ethan: You four are going to be super attractive because you’re traitors but all of you make up for your actions and decide to help the demigods and become protagonists again. Octavian, Bryce, Michael, Titans, giants, etc.: You all are the antagonists so you have to be super ugly with multiple physical imperfections cause you’re not allowed to be attractive since you are against the protagonists and I have to set you guys apart and show the readers who’s the better and more superior character.

-Frank hated himself cause he was chubby and only loved himself once he got skinnier and gained muscle through magic but even then was called ‘cute like a panda’.

-Leo was described as scrawny and unattractive and was insecure about being short but even then was called ‘cute in a scrawny way’.

-Piper had facial imperfections and even a pimple on her nose but once she got claimed all of those disappeared and they stayed gone even after the blessing washed off despite all the magic being gone and only then was Piper’s looks commented on multiple times.

-Lester/Apollo hated his appearance cause he had a little flab and acne and his physical imperfections were used as comedy by making fun of it as if insecure readers don’t exist.

-Percy and Annabeth had one canon physical imperfection- a gray streak in their hair- and that magically washed away.

-None of the other characters were described with any physical imperfections like pimples/zits/acne, body hair (despite none of the characters having the care or time to wax or shave), bushy/frizzy or messy hair or eyebrows, big or small hands or noses, blackheads, super thick or thin eyebrows, blemishes, birthmarks, scars, stretch marks, braces, lazy eyes, yellow or chipped teeth, eye bags, glasses, moles, dimples, love handles, flab/fat, visible veins, freckles, etc. unless it added to their ‘aesthetic’ despite none of those being bad and saves it only for the antagonists as if ‘physical imperfections’ = ‘evil’.

Bias:

-Riordan portrayed the Romans as cold, cruel, ruthless, strict, and overall horrible despite them being the more inclusive camp regarding family and godly parents, have multiple families and rules that ensure their camper’s safety, and hold the nicest characters in the series while the Greeks are portrayed as fun, wild, reckless, silly, and cool despite holding the most prejudiced and rude characters, outcasting and ostracizing characters of certain godly parents just for their parentage, stereotype almost every single cabin, and make some campers without siblings live, sleep, and eat alone.

-Every Greek traitor (Luke, Silena, Ethan, and Chris) were portrayed as powerful, kind, attractive, and awesome and each made up for their actions but each Roman ‘traitor’ (Octavian, Bryce, and Michael, and only one of them are actually a traitor) were portrayed as unattractive, cruel, ambitious, ruthless, and extremely weak and never actually did anything useful.

-The Greeks were part of the Union and the Romans were part of the Confederacy (adding on to Riordan adding racist movements as fun little easter eggs in his stories).

-Four out of seven of the main Seven are Greek.

-There are at least 70+ Greek characters and less than thirty named Romans.

-The Battle of San Francisco Bay was used for the sole purpose to weaken the Romans and make the Greeks seem stronger than them and while the Greeks went through two whole wars, their camp laid almost completely untouched but the moment the Romans are introduced, half their population is wiped?

Romanticization:

-Romanticized Annabeth judo-flipping Percy AKA romanticized physical abuse/harassment (emotions, angriness, feelings of love and affection, ‘they went through a lot together’, etc. do not excuse hitting someone) despite Annabeth knowing where Percy’s Achilles Heel was and not knowing he lost it and flipping him on his back anyways (if Percy didn’t lose the Achilles Heel, Annabeth would’ve killed him).

-Romanticized Leo killing himself to see Calypso again and to take her off her island AKA a romanticized suicide.

-Romanticized Calypso yelling at and insulting Leo and Annabeth insulting and canonically lowering Percy’s self-esteem AKA romanticized verbal abuse/bullying.

-Romanticized Will trying to help Nico through his loneliness and depression as if that can’t be portrayed as someone just wanting to help another person AKA romanticized mental illness.

-Romanticized every character kissing another character without asking first and without their consent AKA romanticized sexual harassment.

-Romanticized Piper taking advantage over Jason’s amnesia and mental state and jumping onto him despite knowing there might be a girl he couldn’t remember AKA romanticized manipulation.

-Romanticized Piper and Annabeth’s possessive, overly-jealous, and controlling behavior over Jason and Percy (even before they were canonically dating).

-Romanticized Nico being forced to confess his crush on Percy AKA romanticized a forced outing.

Rick Riordan:

-Refused to apologize for his actions even after being called out by people from the groups he was writing inaccurately and stereotyping (Muslim, Jewish, African, First Nation, lesbian, gay, Puerto Rican, etc.) and tried to make himself look like the victim.

-Claimed he was being ‘bullied’ by readers half his age who were just pointing out his books’ racist flaws.

-Showed time and time again that he is not willing to listen to the voices of minorities.

-Clearly didn’t do his research on ethnicities, sexualities, religions, etc. shown by how he got the simplest things wrong.

-Tried to say that he- a straight white man- was right when people of the actual groups he was writing about (gay, First Nation tribes, etc.) were wrong.

-Used excuses like having a ‘headstrong’ and ‘stubborn’ character who wants to ‘show their culture in their own way’ for his stereotypes. No, Riordan, you want to show the culture that way, not Piper. She’s a fictional character, you’re real. Dumbass.

-Literally said ‘Sorry I put feathers in Piper’s hair, I can’t change what I wrote in the past and I didn’t know that sensitive readers existed’ then continued to write feathers in Piper’s hair in the future books.

The Fandom:

Note: Not to all of the fandom, obviously

-Draws Piper with light skin, light hair, and kaleidoscope eyes with feathers, hippie bands, and beads (yes, it's canon, but you're allowed to change it if it's blatantly racist, and the bead and hippie band thing was created by the fandom and that's also stereotyping).

-Almost always draw Reyna, Hylla, and Leo with light skin and Caucasian traits (props to the few artists who drew them with the right skin tones).

-Draws Hazel with gold eyes, ‘cinnamon’/light brown hair, and an adult body.

-Sexualizes female characters by drawing them in sexy and revealing clothes and giving them all the same exact sexy, slim, and perfect hour-glass shaped bodies.

-Almost never include physical imperfections, muscle, scars, stretch marks, etc. in drawings.

-Fancasts white actors for characters of color and puts actors/faceclaims of white people or people of different ethnicities in the moodboards or aesthetics for characters of color.

-Participates in cultural appropriation by wearing feathers when cosplaying Piper and wearing a hijab when cosplaying Samirah.

-Supports Riordan, tries to defend him, and condones his clearly racist and bigoted actions just cause they ‘like the books’ (if you are straight, white, and/or cishet, I definitely don’t want to see you trying to defend a fifty-five year-old multi-millionaire who is clearly racist, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic).

-Romanticize physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental illnesses and panic/anxiety attacks, etc.

-Ship pedophilic, manipulative, abusive, and wrong relationships.

-Barely allow others to have their own opinions (looking at you Perachel haters) without yelling at, insulting, cursing out, and/or even threatening them for liking or disliking different things than them including ships, characters, books, plots/faults, and Riordan himself.

-Straightwashes characters like shipping Nico with female characters or setting him up with a female character in fanfics.

-Whitewashes characters like drawing Hazel and Piper with eurocentric features, Reyna, Hylla, and Leo with white skin and Caucasian traits, Nico with white/pale skin, etc.

-Try to excuse and explain abusive, manipulative, possessive, and overall very wrong and toxic behavior.

-Fail to recognize and/or admit the toxic, racist, homophobic, sexist, transphobic, wrong, abusive, etc. faults in the books, ships, and characters just cause they like them.

The Percy Jackson franchise does not add good representation. You can still like the series as long as you don’t condone Riordan’s racist and toxic writing and actions and don’t try to ignore the horrible and stereotypical faults just cause you don’t want to admit that your favorite or childhood story is horrible.

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oftenderweapons · 4 years ago

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Mold Me New (1) – Taehyung

A Small Town Swoons story

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Wordcount: 3.2k

Genre: ceramic artist!Taehyung, divorced!reader, Strangers to Lovers, Fluff, Angst, Slice of Life

Rating: 18+ (for future smut and explicit thoughts)

Hello to my readers!!! Welcome to the Small Town Swoons Universe! 🥰✨

In this episode: Introducing the reader’s backstory, exploring her life as a wife and then as a single woman who is slowly getting to know herself as an individual person.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: There are mild curse words, a bit of a sad vibe regarding falling out of love and getting a divorce, description of several bad dates and good ones that end badly, mention of getting drunk, mention of sex toys, mention of one night stand.

In case you like my writing, here is my directory for idol!AUs, scenarios and imagines, and in case you need it, here’s the Spotify music companion.

I forgot to mention, bc I’m dumb and bc we’re becoming one body with two souls, but this chapter (as most of the decent, edited things I post) was beta read by the magical @joheunsaram (she’s recently lost her previous blog and she’s rebuilding it, please go say something nice and YOU SHOULD FOLLOW HER SHE’S A QUEEN ,,,,, my queen 🥺✨)

Enjoy 💜✨

Navi: Chapter 1 — Chapter 2 — Chapter 3 — Chapter 4 — Chapter 5 — Chapter 6 — Chapter 7

When you fall in love with someone, the feeling is like entering a chocolaterie. The scent engulfs you, full and rich and sultry, igniting your senses, the heat making your skin glisten in a light sheen of perspiration, making you exceedingly vulnerable to pointless stuff, like the way your lover exhales. Or their hands skimming your arms.

At least, that was what your best friend had told you.

You had none of that. To you love was a daisy being twirled under your nose, sharing cotton candy, the smell of crisp apples, flannel sheets, the sound of dead leaves crackling under matching footsteps, a sturdy but shiny steel band around your finger suddenly substituted by a golden one.

That had been the beginning of the end. When practicality and simplicity had turned into conventionality and disinterest.

When gifts stopped being things you loved and became things he thought you loved. And then things everyone loved.

When love became a chore, that's when everything crumbled. When kisses became just a good morning and a welcome back, when there were no more laughs echoing in the kitchen, when leaves kept falling but it was your footsteps alone making them crackle, when flannel sheets kept feeling warm but still something was missing — because someone was missing — when suddenly there was no more time for fairs and cotton candy, when daisies became roses, Love stopped making sense. It stopped having a meaning for you.

You were no longer sure of the life you had built with the man of your dreams, the boy you had fallen in love with when you were eight, the guy who had walked with you across the corridors of your high school, who had made you twirl under the lame disco ball of your prom, who had gone through college finals with you, who had spent three summers making your hangout spot into a home, turning the small old shack into a proper place for you to build a new life together. He was your first kiss, your first valentine, your first time. He was the man at the end of the aisle, the man who would walk with you until the last of your days.

But one day he started running and you still walked.

Or maybe you were both running in different directions, no longer on the path to the same destination, your priorities somehow switched.

Of course, it wasn't his fault.

It wasn't yours either.

You had both participated in this small unraveling, and you had both expressed the intention of changing, of finding compromise, an in-between, without either of you actually making the effort of fixing your trajectory, small habits and old pet peeves pulling you even farther apart.

The attempts — multiple ones — were painstakingly embarrassing. There were tears on both sides as you wondered what had caused this sudden rift that separated you — except it wasn't sudden, only your realisation was; the crevasse had been there for way longer. Maybe it had started as a small chipping the very day you met him, and it wasn't until now that you realised how the small sign had turned into an ominous presence, and then into unfathomable, inevitable doom.

And then the divorce.

It had been disgustingly easy, both parties agreeing on the procedures.

You didn't want the house. And you didn't need it. He didn't either.

Selling it had been exceedingly painless, you had shared the money, since he wanted to offer you stability. He already knew you would both suffer and he didn't want you worrying about rent. He was still your friend, after all.

Going back to being alone scared you at the beginning, until you realised that few things were truly bothering you. At least there wasn't this ghost of a human making you doubt all of your plans. You could plan dinner five days ahead or improvise. You could go to the restaurant as a last minute deal. You could go on long walks without the 'I'm sorry baby, emergency' making you rush back to town.

It felt like a bit of a liberation.

And your family's bookshop was doing well enough, since it was situated near the college and it also offered printing service.

Of course there were bad days. Sometimes you woke up searching for a body beside yours, however that feeling had significantly subdued after you had gotten used to the new bed. You missed human contact, being close, intimate with someone, having someone who knows you that deeply.

And then the true nightmare.

Finding someone new.

You were genuinely uninterested in dating. You had given it a go and it had sufficed.

It wasn't your world.

How could it possibly be?

You had never dated. You had basically offered your heart to the person that has always owned it. It's not like you had any experience in that labyrinth that is dating. All those unspoken social norms and the pining and tension. You only knew the comfort of a warm hug, the beauty of a kiss sparking from innocence and affection and slowly turning into steady, warm passion. You didn't like infernos, you liked candles. You liked the domestic hearth. You liked moderation.

And dating was all about extremes, from strangers to 'I'm inspecting your throat' on date one. And then suddenly it's date three and the same guy who brought you to a pizza place and a diner is suddenly going out of his way to bring you to a pretentious, expensive restaurant as a way to propitiate the possibility of you dropping your panties.

You had allowed this foolery only three times. Apparently all the suitable suitors were either really prone to pushing the pedal or had a passion for tongue gastroscopies.

The first one, Albert, had been quite the gentleman on date one. On date two he started making inappropriate jokes with a heavy body shaming undertone — a bit cliché for the stereotypical gym rat. And on date three he had dropped all pretenses at politeness and had outright palmed your ass in public, which made you rightfully uncomfortable. As you pointed that out, he proceeded saying that after all it was your third date and it was time to loosen up a little.

You didn’t even bother staying for dinner, left a bill on the table and left.

No matter the first disappointment, you decided not to let that disrespectful fool slow you down. And since your best friend knew everything about rat headed number one, you allowed her to set you up with one of her colleagues after she reassured you he was nothing like the one before.

Except somehow he was. The first date was at the local pub, and you somehow found yourself getting along well, his jokes were funny and he had good timing, he was relaxed, confident but still a bit clumsy and shy. He could be a good candidate.

But that was before he pushed his tongue to your tonsils as he kissed goodbye.

You gagged.

On date two he admitted you weren’t exactly his type. You were glad to reciprocate the statement after he told you his dream was having four children and a farm, alluding to the fact that his bride needed to be the perfect housewife.

You were pretty adamant that was not the kind of future you wanted for yourself.

Candidate number three was a guy you had met while grocery shopping, and somehow he had impressed you in an absolutely positive way on date one and two. Everything had been perfect, he was kind, considerate and well-mannered. Date three had been innocent, simple, down-to-earth. And then date four. Perfect dinner at his place. He had made you swoon and he had a very pretty cat he was very affectionate with.

He was the first man you had felt desire for in a very long time — almost eight months after your divorce.

The sex had been decent for being a first time.

And then he had entirely disappeared and never texted or called you back, which didn’t sit entirely wrong with you. You wished him all the best but you were actually glad. You liked being you and doing your own thing: having someone too much down your neck, getting in a relationship, having to check in with another person again felt more like a burden than a win.

Maybe it was just a coping mechanism to avoid facing the fact that he had been someone you could have liked, someone you could have built something with.

You were a happy woman, and it’s not like you really felt lacking or incomplete, like some of your single friends felt. And you had no intention of starting a family anytime soon, no matter if your old high school classmates had begun popping out kids left and right. You were more than happy to live the teen and early-twenty years you had spent in a relationship.

You were getting to know yourself in a way most of your friends didn’t have time to — you could already see them going through a midlife crisis after their kids became old enough to navigate life by themselves, which meant no more need for overprotective, and sometimes borderline suffocating, mothers, who suddenly found themselves with too much free time and too little tasks to complete.

Knowing your needs made you a stronger, better woman, and solitude had gifted you a level of introspection and balance that you doubted they could ever reach; maybe that was an arrogant consideration, but you knew there was no way knowing and loving yourself would ever bring you to crying over disrespectful, ungrateful youth whose only fault was that of growing up out of their mothers’ plans.

Unfortunately, there was no way your family — especially your grandmother — could ever tolerate the idea of you not needing a man and a family to be happy.

“Oh, come on, isn’t it time for you to bring a nice fellow back home?”

You shook your head as you and your grandma took a walk along the river, the sunny March afternoon feeling way too nice to stay at home. “Granny. There’s no people like Grandad anymore.”

“Oh, darling. You’re starting with the wrong role model. Not even back in my days we had men like him. He was the exception.” She nodded to herself with a sweet smile, remembering the husband she had lost a few years back.

“It’s so frustrating. And after all that happened… You know how it was. We were together for years. He was the only one I had. I don’t even know how to do these things. And books cannot teach you stuff like that. The more you read, the more you realise that most of these men had never even seen a rom com.”

“Oh, come on, but you have the internet these days! Can’t you find him in there? You have all these phones and computers and everyone has them, there must be a good one in the internet.”

She always said that “in the internet”. Like it was a physical place.

“I don’t even want to look in there, Granny. There are so many dangers in there.” You shuddered as you thought at the funny instagram pages where the people posted screenshots of the worst descriptions. All the embarrassing playboys and the fishermen and the lame wanna-be poets.

“Right… How can you know he is really is a person?” She considered, patting your back proudly. “You’re pretty. And you’ve always had the most perfect bum of all your cousins. Just like mine!” She grinned cockily, giving a playful smack to your ass, making you laugh loudly.

“It won’t last long.” You said, looking down. Solitude scared you sometimes. Being old and alone could be hard on the spirit and you had a feeling that old hag you would curse your dumb arrogance and inconsideration. However, for now you were still somehow making it through. Your divorce was finalised almost ten months ago. You could still consider yourself just fresh out of it.

“You’re smart. And I’m sure you have a lot to offer. You’re a good woman, and you’re far from being too old. There’s never a thing such as too old. Don’t let yourself be fooled. Look at me.” She said. “I’m still living a good life. Herbert has left me but I’m still here. Walking. Cooking. Drizzle keeps me good company.” She smiled sweetly at the mention of her dog, a lovely large poodle elegantly strolling at her side, its light grey fur finely trimmed by your grandmother’s expert hands. She had been a hairdresser for decades: learning how to keep Drizzle’s coat had been a cup of tea for her and he’d kept her distracted from grief after your grandpa passed away.

Her face formed a meditative pout. “Maybe you should just get a dog. Or even better, a cat. You’ve always looked like a cat child to me. So quiet and focused, like you knew some secret that nature would speak to you alone. You were always so attentive as a child!”

You smiled and looked at the path under your feet. Drizzle stayed unbothered as a loud, angry dachshund walked towards him, barking annoyingly. You had never felt sympathy for that small evil breed.

“I think I could get a kitten one of these days. Or a cat, from the shelter.”

“I’m sure you’ll find it in the internet!”

“So we’re really doing the party thing?”

“Listen, baby. It’s gonna be your first party as a free woman. Real mind blowing birthday sex.”

“I’m not a virgin, you know?” You stared at your face in the mirror, spreading some moisturiser over your forehead, inspecting the small lines there. You shrugged and let them be.

Maybe you would spend your best years single and find a sugar baby in ten or twenty years. Wait, weren’t those called toy boys?

Who cares.

Maybe it was time to get the post-grad you had always dreamed of. You would need to check your bank account before making that decision — maybe finally telling yourself yes could be the real birthday gift. That is, beside the huge dildo waiting in your drawer. Not being attracted to men or women didn’t mean you didn’t like sex.

You just found it difficult to imagine being with someone.

“Darling I’d bet an arm and a leg he never gave it to your right. You just need a bit more experience.”

All you needed was a hot bath, some candles and a good book. No man, no one night stand, no birthday sex could possibly make you as happy as decent jazz, wine and a novel.

“Why aren’t we doing that wine tasting at the winery out of town?”

“Because I want you choking on cheap alcohol, having all the fun you didn’t have on your twenty-first birthday because you were planning your own wedding. And I bet you’re the only one who wasn’t fucked in the bathroom of the Wickhead.”

Terry could be incredibly crude, but you loved her nonetheless. You loved her even more for it. She had never hidden anything from you, she had told you even the most embarrassing details of her own life. And she had always been the kindest, most faithful friend: she had driven you way out of town when you were eighteen and your period was late and you needed to buy a pregnancy test without all everyone and their dog knowing; she had chosen your wedding dress for you, spotting it and telling you it was going to be the one before you could even see it. When your marriage had started crumbling, she had spent countless nights with you, keeping you company when your husband was busy with his business trips. Though Terry had insinuated cheating, you knew he would never break your trust like that, and she had decided to trust your better judgement.

You had simply fallen out of love with each other.

And when you had moved into your new apartment, Terry had helped you repaint the walls and build the extra bookcases and install the shelves and fill your wine stand. Before leaving she had grabbed an unfamiliar box from her car, placing it on top of your bed, opening it and spreading out a set of “single necessaire”, as she called it. A couple toys, lube, condoms. To celebrate your re-found sexual promiscuity, she had said, though you objected, it was hard rediscovering something you had never had.

She had shaken her head and left you to “familiarise” yourself with everything.

“You know I’m not exactly a party person, Terry. This will end badly.” You said, sitting on your bed with your back against the headboard, your legs stretched out before you.

“You can allow yourself some fun once in a decade, you know?” You could hear her scoff on the phone.

“But I do have fun. Book. Wine. Bingo!” You explained, rolling your eyes as the booed.

“Come on, do it for me. Do it for your single friend who wants to get drunk and possibly sixty-nine? Please?” The other thing wrong with Terry is that if you ever met her in person, you would face the sweetest five foot three and a half — she insisted on the half — human being you could ever meet, with pretty wavy blonde hair and wide, sweet green eyes, the most boopable button nose and a sprinkle of freckles on her golden skin. She literally glowed in sunlight and her flowy gowns always made her look like a goddess: you could see men fighting for her, dying for her and going to war for just one of her gentle smiles.

“Don’t you have a FWB for that sixty-nine thingie?” You asked with an exceedingly inquisitive tone. It had been a while since she last updated you.

“Dumped him.” She replied curtly.

You tutted before exhaling. Emotionally constipated people — what’s wrong with them?

“He’s dating someone since he was ready for a relationship.” Terry sounded a bit colder than usual.

“And you weren’t?” You asked. You felt your tone hesitate with slight concern. You knew she would just put up a wall and ignore your question.

Fortunately, she didn’t. “I’m not ready to talk about that. It’s complicated, Frog.”

She was hurt and wanted a distraction.

“Okay, Terry. We’re going to get rip roaring drunk this Saturday.”

The line went silent.

“You know I love you right?”

“I love you too, sweetie. Now go to sleep, you have an early shift tomorrow.”

The line went silent after you bid each other goodnight, your body settling underneath the sheets once you realised your eyes were fluttering shut as you tried to read a few pages to put yourself to sleep.

Placing down the book, you hugged the extra pillow, settling your face in the corner between your sleeping pillow and your spare one, the heavy woolen comforter acting like a weighted blanket. You placed another pillow behind your back, making a soft cocoon all around you.

Yes, sometimes you still missed being hugged to sleep.

The taglist is open!

Navi: Chapter 1 — Chapter 2 — Chapter 3 — Chapter 4 — Chapter 5 — Chapter 6 — Chapter 7

#taehyung x reader #kim taehyung fanfiction #thetruthuntoldnet #thebtswritersclub #Taehyung strangers to lovers

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topcatofficial · 6 months ago

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see the big thing is that the context of their use as characters - the narrative roles they serve and the eras in which they were created - are very different and that definitely impacts how they are seen and recieved. and imho, that's not necessarily hypocrisy. it CAN be, but not inherently. i think the position that liking One Character who may fit a certain description but disliking Another Character Who May Superficially Fit That Description being hypocritical is an argument made in bad faith and lacks any compassion or nuance.

all characters are tools, and how those tools are used or what they're used for can have an impact on how someone feels about them.

kitty glitter is a character created in 1988 who shows up half-way through the movie and is contextually meant to be an obstacle and nothing else. she is just a comedic side character who is positioned as A Problem and to some degree an antagonist, though that honestly implies far more intent than she ever actually has. she is meant to be JUST a gold digger who is meant to incite a conflict. the viewer isn't meant to see her as any deeper than that, because she is literally JUST meant to be a stereotypical stock character trope... but it's also one that is rooted in misogyny, so some may be inclined to show her sympathy and understanding in light of that. kitty glitter is very much so a product of the time and of the genre. it could not be any more obvious that top cat and the beverly hills cats clearly wants her to be seen as JUST a shallow gold digger even if in her ordinary life she might be or could be more than that - and, by showing her makeup process - possibly even want viewers to see her as possibly pathetic or ugly as well. that she would ever, or COULD ever, end up with either TC or brain is a complete non-option in the actual narrative. she is JUST a joke, any potential relationship with either of them is also a joke, a story beat to move the narrative along, a source of conflict, and nothing more.

and in the context of a slapstick-heavy comedy, a woman pouring soup on a guy who literally just sprayed champagne all over her is not that big of a deal. especially as an exaggerated reaction to the fact she found out that she just spent the entire day with someone who repeatedly caused damages that she would have to pay for, and wasn't even her blind date in the first place. we as the viewers know that brain did try to explain he wasn't TC, yes, and we as the viewers are able to clearly see when she interrupts him from being able to explain this. but one must have realistic genre expectations and understand that a gag character doing something as set up for a joke or even part of the joke is just not that critical even if it's not that funny in the end. but a woman's allowed to be mad that she feels taken advantage of. pouring soup on him is literally the worst thing she does imho, and i don't know why you're claiming she kissed brain without consent. considering the fact she doesn't kiss anyone at all in the movie? especially not brain, and especially not without consent. did you misremember something?

HOWEVER, on the other hand... trixie is a character created in 2011 - two decades later, in an era that is far more aware of misogyny misogynistic tropes - to serve as an endgame romantic companion to the titular character. she is introduced in the beginning, and remains present for the majority of the movie with an integral role. she is NOT meant to be JUST an obstacle. her character does not solely exist as a joke. she serves a minor antagonistic role, but is clearly meant to be more complex than that. she is thus, to some degree, meant to be sympathetic because she is also meant to be a fully fledged love interest. this inherently makes her a character that you're meant to, to some degree, root for, or at the very least, root for the protagonist to succeed in wooing. but since whatever flaws she has - in this case, classism - are not meaningfully challenged or reconsidered in the context of the role she serves and is meant to serve, that leaves a completely different impression when no true change or bond occurs in the film. in the grand scheme of things, what she does is not even that bad, she just happens to be a dated character trope out of place in the context of the era and story she was created for. as such, that would leave a different impression than if she was a purely antagonistic side character who might have served a much smaller role than the one she actually has in the context of the film she actually appears in.

kitty glitter does a good job of being the character she's meant to be in a dated material that leaves plenty of room for reinterpretation that could stay true to her character. trixie does not do a good job of being the character she's meant to be, in a modern material that leaves very little room for reinterpretation that is completely faithful, which therefore means that the only options are to either be stay true to the role she's meant to play at the cost of her characterization, or change the role she's meant to play and exaggerate her character flaws accordingly. i personally find the latter more interesting and compelling. :P

I really don't understand people who DESPISE Trixie but LOVE Kitty Glitter

'But Trixie is classist!!!1!' 1. She stops being classist during her date with T.C. + People forget that T.C. is still like. Actually a criminal. She has reason to be wary of him. And 2. Kitty is also classist?? And is more classist than Trixie was?? And doesn't STOP being such?

Also being classist is like the worst thing that Trixie's done which isn't THAT bad, still bad but it doesn't make her The Worst Ever like everyone makes her out to be. Does everyone forget that she's the reason T.C. gets out of jail or did that just Not Happen?

Kitty on the other hand has committed assault and battery which everyone seems to forgive her for because 'oh she's just looking for love she's lonely🥺' k cool sucks for her that doesn't excuse her kissing Brain without his consent, throwing soup on him, and throwing T.C. on top of him at the end of the movie

I'm not saying that you're not allowed to like Kitty Glitter I'm just saying that acting like Trixie is awful but Kitty's 'just a girl 💅' is very hypocritical

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grandinventor · 4 years ago

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At the risk of sounding like a Jindosh apologist here (I am.) I will preface that Jindosh is a bad guy, he has either killed people personally or got them killed for experiment purposes by his Clockworks and has dissected the dead so he is not good, he is a villain, I acknowledge that.

Now with that out of the way I wanna criticize the narrative surrounding him and his mansion and how it sometimes falls flat on it’s face trying to demonize them thanks to a lot of points my friend @divaythfyr brought up. I’ll put all of that below the cut:

Yesterday I was told this line and I won’t lie it is...bad. Line in question:

Billie: "His home is supposed to be full of marvels. Locals go in as a test of courage, or because they're desperate for a meal. Kids, even. People say you can hear them at night, pounding on the windows, calling for help."

But because I couldn’t live with the idea that he kills children you know the simplest villain demonization tactic in writing history (kick the puppy, kick the child whatever) and I think it’s pretty cheap to try and make him worse than Sokolov, I talked to the Jindosh apologist committee and thot about it so I’ll go over this line by line.

1. "His home is supposed to be full of marvels.“ - Okay but isn’t his home also supposed to be scary? Isn’t the whole “Why would anyone build a scary mansion like this?” line from Emily/Corvo as they enter supposed to tell us that this is a scary place? Which is funny because in reality the mansion itself isn’t scary at all, in fact it’s extremely logical in the way it unfolds and exposes the rooms. It’s perfectly functional and as someone with a major in architecture, I can say it’s the best designed house in terms of organization in the game. There is no way to die in the mansion unless the Clockwork Soldiers and the guards get you - which goes for literally any important/rich person’s house? You walk in someone’s house uninvited and their guards get you. You can die if you get behind the walls but it’s extremely difficult to do so especially in the places where you can get squished. The house itself is completely harmless. So the whole idea from Jindosh’s end that it’s a maze is stupid on it’s own too, the house is perfectly logical and Stilton’s manor is an actual maze because I got lost 10 times in there.

2. “Locals go in as a test of courage, or because they're desperate for a meal.“ - okay first part is correct people go in his house to either steal, test their skills or kill him. He says as much himself. He says fabled thieves and assassins died there. Again probably from his guards and Clockworks since you can’t die from the house in any rational way. And then he dragged them half dead or dead in his lab to dissect them. He has a fascination with watching people die because he is like evil and a villain like that. Which brings me to the next point which is:

There are only two ways to get in his mansion without powers. There is the bridge below which is broken and the railway which is guarded and has a Wall of Light on the other end. So how will anyone that is not prepared with a grappling hook or some kind of way to close this gap gonna get in? How is your random average person gonna go in? And most importantly why? Do people just walk in aristocrat’s houses and expect not to get out in a body bag or?

Besides he has a) a lot of free food and drinks in the lobby which is his threshold as to how far you are allowed to go so if someone wanted food they can just walk in and take it and leave (after you know, scaling a mountain for whatever reason because there aren’t easier houses to steal from) and b) he has an audiograph, because I am sure he assumes people can’t read, which tells you “Do not enter or you will die and I will dissect your remains and this is a promise.” Like why add a warning if you wanna lure people in? Unless those people think they can outsmart him so they come with intent and not just because they need food/shelter. Also he has food right next to that audio.

3. “Kids, even.“ - okay this one, the scary line. I won’t lie this made me uncomfortable. So like if we assume that normal people can enter by normal means (which in point 2 is clear they can’t unless further elaborated by the game on How? and Why?), a child going in as a dare and dying is possible. Billie after this line goes on to say that she saw a child dare his brother to touch the wall of light which vaporized the child, so the implication is possible. It’s possible a child went in his mansion as a dare and bad things unfolded. It’s also equally possible that it didn’t. We know of adult men dying because we see the bodies. For this one is just a rumor. You can take it either way depending on how you feel about Jindosh. It’s very unlikely a child would get this far though, unless this was some kind of Disney movie. Also Jindosh wouldn’t personally have a reason to kill a child you know, like I know it’s the easiest “this villain is super evil!!!!” writing tactic, but he had a pretty shitty childhood, he felt hated by his mother and probably wasn’t treated so nicely by his (bastard) brother. He likes to exercise his lack of control during his younger years by having control over other people through his house and toying with them. He is very childish in a sense too (with his toy house and toy soldiers), and because of all of this I truly don’t think he would kill a child. He wants a real challenge and to test out his machines and his house against the best and smartest Karnaca can offer, not children. Though my opinion here can be highly biased.

Also many children can casually pull 6ft tall levers I’m sure--

4. “People say you can hear them at night, pounding on the windows, calling for help." - we know people have died in the mansion and they have been crying for release, as he says so himself. But again the above points kind of challenge as to who these people that died inside were. However because you know I’ve been playing with his mansion for four years cause I am a dumb hoe, I can say that there are very little windows. In fact the majority of windows that aren’t blocked off by the cliff or the mechanisms are around his laboratory.

Now yes people could go there and bang on them sure. But they literally...face the lab and chances are no one is gonna hear you bang on that side. The other windows not facing the lab are in the foyer where...you are allowed to be and nothing is gonna happen to you.

And the windows that actually face a side where let’s say someone could hear if someone was banging are the windows on the front of the house. Only the thing is, there are no windows on the front of the house except in the foyer.

Here are the buildings from across his mansion which I guess can maybe hear if someone was banging on the windows. But again no windows on the front of the house.

The fake windows is where the mechanism for the ceiling over the gallery in the upper hall is. The one that kinda extends and unfolds from there. So isn’t entirely possible that the banging and screaming or whatever people heard is just...the mechanisms of his house? The scary evil child killing house? Which is actually moving and making a lot of noise at all times?

So in conclusion? Yes, Jindosh is bad, he has no regard to human life, he divides society as innocent bystanders and criminals. He does dream of an army of Clockwork Soldiers to eradicate all crime. Be, he isn’t a senseless killer, it’s his neutrality and fascination with death as well as his black and white thinking that makes him dangerous. He doesn’t see people as human. In the majority of cases we know of (except one for some reason? That cursed baker who got his brain fried why did you have to do that Jindosh!?) he experiments on people who he deems criminals without sympathy. Also in situations where he thinks it’s justified - breaking in to steal from him or hurt him, the Blade Verbena, prisoners that can actually provide a learning experience for his Clockworks and Sokolov. He doesn’t go kidnapping people off the streets to experiment on them.

And despite his evilness being completely logical, the whole game tries to paint his mansion as this big puzzle and trap when in reality it’s...really just a house. The level design is beautiful and amazing but I think it doesn’t really carry the point as strongly simply because it’s not any more dangerous than any other mission and it’s just more fun when it comes to gameplay. The design is great but it never gave me the feeling of it being a horror house. So I think that demonizing Jindosh through hearsay instead of through his actual mission is a bit of a weird choice. A lot of things don’t reflect how evil he is, but not in the good way of “The Grand Inventor doesn’t seem evil but he is.” and instead you get it hammered how evil he is from the start without actually ever experiencing a climax of his evilness you wouldn’t expect. It’s not that every story should have a twist, but usually when you say someone is evil, you either make them good at the end or even more evil. Jindosh never has that climax, he is the same start to finish and that is... mildly annoying and slightly threatening. Like his level is pretty but not scary and they keep trying to convince you it’s scary which makes it weird which I guess is because if you listen to a lot of his unused lines and old concept art, he was supposed to be this stereotypical mad scientist but in the end they changed his visual design and lines so much he comes off as lukewarm. I understand what they tried to do with Jindosh but I feel like they failed to do it and had to rely on everyone saying he is super irredeemably evil to justify lobotomizing him.

Anyway this post is too long, sorry if the read more doesn’t go through somewhere and please feel free to counter my points I am open to different and non biased views (or even information I might not know because I haven’t read the books or found everything).

#kirin jindosh #me putting this with full confidence in the tag #i hope i dont wake up to anything bad

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sokkastyles · 4 years ago

Text

Thanks for asking! I realize I never elaborated on the Jet/Zuko parallels so here goes.

Season one Zuko/Jet are both extremists, though on opposite sides of the war. Zuko will stop at nothing to capture the Avatar. Jet will stop at nothing to rid the world of the Fire Nation. Zuko is the fallen prince, while Jet is the war orphan, both trying to restore what they’ve lost. And both have significant interactions with Katara.

Focusing on book one first, I’ve already written about how Jet manipulates Katara, which makes it worse not only because she did have romantic feelings for him, but because she was totally taken in by his whole freedom fighter thing. He also manipulates Aang and tries to manipulate Sokka, but Katara was the main one who felt betrayed by him. Katara has such a big heart and fighting spirit but at this point in the story she is fairly naive, and it shows here. She probably never considered before this episode that somebody fighting on the right side could be a bad person.

I also looked up the mouth wheat thing because I’ve seen it a lot in anime for similar “tough guy” characters and as that other post I reblogged said, it is a stand-in for cigarettes. I also found out that it’s supposed to represent a banchou, which is a juvenile delinquent gang-leader. And Jet is the leader of a bunch of feral kids, although they are ostensibly revolutionaries. Longshot, Smellerbee, and the Duke do seem like they have good intentions, and they often call Jet out on his behavior.

I also think there’s a comparison/foil with Katara’s interactions with Zuko in book one, which revolve around the necklace and his attempted kidnapping of her. Zuko tries to manipulate Katara using her mother’s necklace but is not very good at it. Not necessarily because he has any moral compunctions but because he’s just not that socially adept. He is most often the victim of his father and sister’s manipulations and the few times he tries to copy them he fails ridiculously, because he is incredibly literal-minded. He’s blunt and often fails to understand things that aren’t directly spelled out. He is not a manipulator.

I’ve also seen people compare Jet flooding the Fire Nation village to Zuko burning down Kyoshi Island, in order to make Zuko look worse, but as I’ve said before, Zuko burning down Kyoshi Island was not intentional, it was something that happened as a result of reckless firebending. That doesn’t make it any less bad, but it seems like it’s been popular recently to add this to the list of things that make Zuko “problematic,” so much so that I actually forgot that scene and was surprised when I rewatched the scene recently and discovered it wasn’t the intentional razing of the village that some people on tumblr make it out to be. Zuko’s fault there was simply not caring about the collateral damage in his pursuit of Aang. He wasn’t intentionally trying to burn down the village. Plus, if we were being honest, all the gaang would cause destruction wherever they went given how much bending they do. That’s not something the show dwells on, though, the way that superhero movies don’t dwell on New York getting destroyed for the hundredth time (unless it’s a deconstruction of the genre).

What Jet does is much more deliberate. He’s aware that what he tricks Katara and Aang into doing will cause the deaths of innocents, and dismisses Smellerbee when she tells him so, and he’s aware that the gaang will not approve of his actions enough to hide it from them. There’s also an interesting elemental parallel/foil, Jet destroys a village with water and Zuko destroys one with fire - foreshadowing that water can also be destructive? Hama, anyone? Robert Frost said it.

I think I know enough of hate to say that for destruction ice is also great, and would suffice.

Anyway.

Book two, the Jet/Zuko parallels/foils are much more explicit, and highlighted by the fact that they actually meet in book two. Zuko’s on redemption road, although he doesn’t know it yet. Jet explicitly states that he wants redemption, although he’s still doing the same things he was doing before. He enlists Zuko in helping him steal stuff because he thinks he’s entitled to it, and I guess you can argue about whether it was justified, since the captain was treating the refugees unfairly, but Jet mostly seems interested in stealing food for himself and his group. To be fair, Prince “ew, poor people” Zuko doesn’t exactly have egalitarian motives, either, which is why helping Jet steal food is a regression in his arc. It’s him donning the Blue Spirit identity (although without the mask) once more because he’s trying to get closer to the material life that he lost. It’s also hilarious that when Jet asks Zuko to do this, Zuko’s dumb ass is like “well, Uncle did tell me to make friends.” Sometimes I wonder who was more naive, book one Katara or book two Zuko. Iroh is like “god, I leave him alone for five minutes and he joins a gang.”

When Jet keeps pressing Zuko about joining the Freedom Fighters, Zuko says no. Again, not for any moral reasons, but because he knows that if Jet keeps pressing, he might find out who Zuko really is. Zuko is honest with Jet when he says “I don’t think you want me in your group.” Not for good reasons, again, but the claim that Zuko somehow manipulated Jet is absolutely wrong. Jet was the one who approached Zuko and made assumptions and got pushy when Zuko said no.

Jet does genuinely want and try to change, but his major temptation is finding out that Iroh is a firebender, which he finds out right after he gets pissed that Zuko rejected him so I do think that was part of his motivation for going after them, considering how pushy Jet acted with the gaang when they rebuffed him. Jet, of course, fails the test, although what happens to him certainly isn’t his fault, even if he did make mistakes. It’s a tragedy that in the end, the choice to turn his life around was taken from him, and he was betrayed by the people who he thought were the good guys. This also highlights the theme that sometimes people on the “good” side can be not nice people, which in turn paves the way for Zuko’s redemption and the wider theme that it is actions that matter the most, not which nation you are from. Separation is an illusion, folks.

Zuko’s test happens first when he attempts to steal Appa, the last time he dons the Blue Spirit mask, and then in “The Crossroads of Destiny.” Unlike Jet, Zuko doesn’t know he’s being tested, he doesn’t know he needs to change, although Iroh keeps telling him he does. The change happens in Zuko without him realizing it.

Katara tries to heal Jet, and Jet dies. Katara almost heals Zuko, and Zuko betrays her. And this time Aang is the one who almost dies, who Katara has to heal. This certainly contributes to Katara’s mistrust of Zuko later on, all three of these events tied together. And all three boys are people she has romantic tension with.

Which brings me to another reason I dislike Jet, or rather, what he is meant to be in Katara’s story. Many people have pointed out that Katara is romantically attracted to Jet, and his superficial resemblance both to the “bad boy” trope, and to Zuko. There’s a reason Zutara shippers make this comparison, although I believe its purpose in the narrative was actually to be anti Zutara and provide support for Kataang, but because the writers really didn’t know how to write Kataang properly, it ends up as the opposite.

Recently I saw a post by a popular blog that was anti Zutara that cited Jet as an example of Katara having “low standards.” And like, I can’t entirely blame the post for its misogyny (Katara is FOURTEEN) because this is what the writers want us to think. Katara’s attraction to Jet is very much playing on the “girl develops a crush on the jerk who doesn’t care about her” stereotype. This is, subtly, one of the ways that the show punishes Katara for not returning Aang’s crush. Interestingly, in this episode Aang doesn’t get jealous of Jet at all, and doesn’t even notice Katara’s attraction, but that’s because Aang in this episode is also still naive and in his early stages of his attraction to Katara, and also thinks Jet is super cool. Sokka instantly hates Jet, though. And Sokka is right, but he also has flavors of the over-protective big brother. I do remember that this episode left a sour taste in my mouth because of the (thankfully downplayed) implications that Katara is a silly girl who falls for the “wrong” types of guys because women don’t know what they want and need a man to help them “discover” their feelings. I also think this is meant to be subtextual in Katara making the hat for Jet which Aang ends up wearing, because Aang is the “good guy” who really does care about Katara, you see? Thanks show, I hate it. To be fair, I blame the writers for this, not Aang. Aang is just having fun hanging out in a treehouse and gets to wear a cool homemade hat. It’s the writers who put this weird misogynistic pressure on Katara.

It’s funny though when people compare Zuko to Jet in order to prove Zutara wrong, because when you compare the two, Zuko is the one who ends up looking better, the one who works hard to repair his damaged relationship with Katara, who genuinely did change. The one whose life she could save after he had done the work to save himself.

#zuko #katara #jet #zutara #anti-kataang #kinda

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nobodies-png · 5 years ago

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HC: Xemnas and the other Xehanorts love playing Animal Crossing.

Just because ACNH has been such a fuckin BEACON OF JOY in my life since it came out (even though I have no means of playing lol) i’m adding some general animal crossing Nort headcanons

Master Xenahort :

He’d be a snooty goat, pretty obvious. All of his letters sound vaguely threatening and pretty creepy, but he also sends super rare furniture so it’s not like you can complain that much. Whenever he’s in your town, all of your flowers are bound to turn black for some weird fucking reason. - no one knows if this is a feature or a glitch You have more chances of getting him to show up if you have a heart shaped pond for him to lurk around.

As for Xenahort playing Animal Crossing, weLL. Good luck getting this old boomer figure out how the controls and everything else works. He seems to like Isabelle a lot because “she’s efficient and a cute dog” but he ALSO likes Apollo and his litte “PAH !” catchphrase. Xenahort could have a pretty gothic and aesthetic world if it weren’t for the fact that he struggles with technology. Also also the guy who’d listen to all teh fun facts Blathers has.

Ansem (Heartless) :

A jock/cranky boar maybe. The kind of villager you wouldn’t really give much thought about, he looks a little funky and emo but eh, it’s not a big deal - until you get into his house and see that it’s pretty much chaos. There’s furniture you’ve never seen and are those fucking GLOWING EYES in the background ? You don’t think you wanna know. Exclusively comes out at night when there’s literally no other villager awake and he’s never present during holidays or events.

Ansem wouldn’t even play Animal Crossing, ngl. He has 0 interest in the game and would most likely drop it after 10 minutes. Also why can he only call like ONE person in the attic ? Fucking whack, that’s not how phones work. Spends the entire time complaining about little things he doesn’t understand. Like come on, man they’re just funky talking animals, let them live.

Xemnas :

A lazy wolf. More quiet and lethargic than actually lazy. The guy is pretty quiet the first days UNTIL you start befriending them, then you’ll discover that he’s actually a fucking chatterbox. You can find Xemnas on the beach at sunset just vibing most of the time or at the museum. After having him around for a while, you notice that he’s the only fucking villager in your town that hasn’t celebrated nor told you when his birthday is. His house is pretty minimalist and monochrome.

Xemnas doesn’t exactly “play” the game - he mostly just roams around, doing absolutely nothing or just talking with people while going “Hmmm” Ohhh” “I see. . .” and other noises to himself. Couldn’t figure out how to give Isabelle a seashell on the first days so he just dropped that shit on the town hall pavement and it’s been there since then. Xemnas also never learns the real names of the villagers in his town, he just names them after people he knows and calls it a day.

Vanitas :

Definitely a jock cat, but like, the mean kind. He’s just too childish and energetic to be a cranky villager lol - his catchphrase is probably some shit like “idiot”. Not even a nickname, he just adds that at the end of sentences. Vanitas (or Catnitas :punch: :pensive) runs through the flowers but ONLY when you’re watching, orders the weirdest and most complex coffee just to see if you can make it - and then when you show him that you can, he’s impressed but also angry cause now he has to drink that shit. If you get Vanitas on your town, there’s a high chance that Ventus also moves in right next to him and viceversa.

Vanitas claims that he doesn’t give a shit about Animal Crossing, but his town is impeccable and he WILL kill for the villagers he loves - even if he’d also just try to straight up kill the ones he hates lol. The type of guy who carries around an axe 24/7 for no reason other than aesthetics and to make a Statement (tm). His house is pretty ugly though and he gets mad because he just doesn’t know how to properly decorate it to get a good grade.

Young Xenahort :

Smug goat. Smug goat. SMUG GOAT. The 100% definition of smug bastard - old Xenahort at least had the decency to SEND you rare furniture, but this guy just DISPLAYS it all on his house and MAKES SURE you know how pitiful it is that you can’t have the same things as he does. His house is chess themed and he has a picture of Eraqus somewhere. All of his letters sound condescending and he tries to use really long words to sound cooler, but we all know the truth.

Young Xenahort shares a switch with Young Eraqus so naturally they share islands in ACNH. Eraqus didn’t really mind but Xenahort REALLY wanted to divide the island in half so that they could have their own territory. IRONICALLY, he spends most of the time on Eraqus’ side tidying shit up - because he just can’t help getting mad whenever he sees how messy everything is, with all the fucking fish just laying around because Blathers isn’t there yet. Young Xenahort also insists on only having white roses and is very hellbent on keeping a strict aesthetic.

Terranort :

The snooty lion she tells you not to worry about. Also a bit smug, but not as bad as the actual Xenahort - he’s actually pretty tolerable, when he’s not giving you the cold shoulder. The villager that takes you 207456 years to actually befriend and who only likes super specific and rare items as gifts. It’s really funny to bully him around because he only gets angry and just stomps around all day after that.

Another sad lad who wouldn’t play AC BUT if he DID he’d have some intense lore and one man larping sessions with the villagers. Like, those people who get WAY too into it. And sadly that’s all I got on him because I wasted all of my juice on writing for the other guys who are all technically the same guy.

Dark Riku :

Stereotypical jock wolf - head empty no thoughts, only muscles, sports and a deep seated inferiority complex. If you send him fruit, he’ll send you garbage in return. The only villager who wil SMACK you back with a net if you hit him, but his letters are oddly ??? Pretty nice and normal too ??? Unlike all of his regular dialogue about beating you up at every single game and sport possible in this entire world. Like, calm down, bro. Calm down and have a caprisun. Brags a lot about his “friend Kairi” from another town, which is sad cause she doesn’t. Actually know him. At all.

Like Vanitas, e-boy Riku says he “doesn’t give a shit about some animal AI from a kids game” but he actually does. Sable is BEST girl in his eyes and getting her to open up and share her story with him was a magical moment. The game is super soothing and it calms him down, he’d even listen to those Lo-Fi AC 24/7 streams on youtube whenever he needs to c h i l l.

Xigbar :

Peppy panther, I don’t even have to tell y’all what his catchphrase is. Constantly breaks the fourth wall with little jokes, known to “teleport” - he kinda ends up showing up on every single store and building you enter, as if nothing happened. Sends you VERY specific letters describing shit he shouldn’t knowor stupid jokes and puns. LOVES to gossip about other villagers and gives you that Extra Lore and trivia about them - but whenever you ask others about him, they just Dont Know Anything About Xigbar. Are you SURE he’s in your town, mayor ?

Xigbar would mostly play Pocket Camp because it’s easier than carrying around a fuckin ds or a switch. It’s also less work and it’s a nice distraction from all the drama going around in the real organization. To play ACNH or ACNL he probably leeches off someone else’s console and he’d exclusively visit others’ towns just to fuck with them or annoy them to death by surrounding their houses with pitfalls.

#kh headcanons #mariahmaru #heartcanon mondays #except its tuesday here #Xenahort #Ansem the Seeker #Xemnas #Vanitas #Young Xenahort #Terranort #Dark Riku #Xigbar #im this close to calling this group motherfuckers unlimited or something like that

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ubernoxa · 5 years ago

Text

The Token: A GNR FanFic

Chapter 2: Guns N’ Roses

(Chapter 1)

Story Summary: Story inspired by the movie She’s the Man. A female Duff is tired of dealing with the bullshit of trying to make it on the strip as a female bassist.

Chapter Summary: Michelle aka Duff meets Guns N’ Roses along with a couple other familiar faces she wished she would never have to see again.

I was nervous at first.

I had Walter drive me until I was a few blocks away from the house I was supposed to meet them. Walter originally wanted to drop me off right in front of the address I was supposed to meet Slash at, but like a child not wanting his/her mom to drop her off in front of the school on their first day of high school. We compromised and he dropped me off five blocks from the address.

The entire walk and car ride I practiced lowering my voice in attempt to sound more like a guy. People must have thought I was crazy, and to be completely honest I probably was. I was walking with a sausage taped to my thigh. Kinda funny how a party trick I would use to mess with a drunk Macy could turn out to be so useful.

“Duff?” A curly haired guy answered the door.

I nodded my head and followed him into the run down house. I couldn’t decide which was worse, the smell or the roaches that acted as if they owned the place.

“You’re not a mute are ya?” The curl hair guy asked as he motioned me to join him on the ratty couch.

“No, but there are plenty of people who wish I was,” I felt my nerves relax as he laughed. At least he was buying the fact that I was a guy.

“You the bassist?” I turned my head to see a blonde scurry into the room and join us on the couches.

I held back a laugh as the curly haired guy sent the blonde a quick glare. It was clear that the blonde wasn’t following whatever plan they had made.

“Yeah, guitar and drums if needed too,” I slowly spoke every word trying to keep my nerves under control. Long story short is that when I get nervous I sweat. My greatest fear was that I would sweat so much that the tape would no longer be stuck to my thigh and my fake dick would fall to the ground. I don’t think I could ever recover from that.

“You hear that Steven? You better watch out,” the curly hair man teased causing the blonde, Steven, to playfully roll his eyes.

I had only met two of the members from the band, but I felt something. No I’m not saying I had a crush on them or something stupid like that. I’m not going to fall into that stereotype, plus I’m masquerading as a guy right now. What I felt was a click, something that put me at ease.

I immediately jumped to the thought wondering maybe I should have came here as Michelle. Maybe I would have felt the same click? I had to immediately shut down all of those thoughts. I had tried countless bands as a female and I was always treated the same way. Plus, to them I’m Duff, and that’s how it’s going to stay.

We talked for what felt like minutes, but when I checked the clock that hung on their wall, hours had passed.

They were a chill group of guys. I mimicked their movements and their body language as we spoke and joked. For the first time in a while I felt excited for a band. They weren’t watching what they said, they weren’t treating me like a dainty flower or checking me out. I was excited to be apart of whatever they were creating. I just hoped they didn’t suck.

“So we have a bassist, a drummer, and a guitarist....where is the rhythm guy and singer you mentioned?” I asked trying not to sound too anxious. This probably sounds silly but I was afraid to go pee. I honest to god didn’t know if it would sound different if I peed like a normal chick and peed standing up.

Before Slash could answer, two people I wished were strangers came plowing into the house.

“I’m just saying, he had it coming. Say what ya want Iz, but I’m not wrong,” I’m sad to say that I’ve met Axl and Izzy on several occasions. Long story short one of my previous bands and the Indiana boys didn’t get along. In my defense, who actually got along with Axl Rose.

I sat frozen on the couch as I felt the nerves shoot through me.

“Axl,” the ginger walked towards me and offered a hand to shake. I immediately took him up on the offer.

“Izzy,” I quickly shook his hand as well hoping to soon put plenty of distance between us.

I stood in silence as the nerves began to grow. Luckily the silence didn’t last long when Axl said, “Have you heard him play?”

Slash and Izzy shook their head no before.

“What have y’all been doing for the past couple hours?”

“Talking, getting to know Duff,” Axl rolled his eyes at Steven’s reply and walked over towards a water bottle to take a sip.

I felt Izzy’s eyes staring me down as I got my bass out. That’s when it clicked. He had to have recognized me, that or he was way to interested in my bass.

I stared right back at him daring him to say something. The last time we met, Axl called my band rock shit that burned his ears which was followed by a huge fight that ended up leaving a small dent in my bass. It still played well, hell I couldn’t tell a difference in the sound. I was quickly proven wrong as Izzy turned away to grab his guitar. I had to hide a giggle at the thought that he was probably too drunk or high to remember me.

After playing several cover songs I was directed to sit on the trashed couch as they left the room to what I assume was talk about wether or not I should join the band.

I was only sitting for a couple minutes before they joined me on the couch again.

“Nightrain?” I questioned as Slash handed me a bottle of what I assumed to be cheep wine.

“Welcome to Guns N’ Roses!” Slash cheered as he chugged his bottle.

I had no choice but to follow his lead, but instead I drank mine a little slower.

I felt the nerves return as the guys talked about throwing a small party tonight in celebration of finding their bassist.

“Y’all got a phone?” I asked before they could continue planning the event.

“Yeah, kitchen...why?” Izzy stared me down as he asked. There it was again, the Izzy stare.

“I gotta cancel some plans, I was originally going to stay at the place of this check I met at a bar last night. Plans have changed,” I shrugged looking at the pair.

“Who? You should invite her!” Steven seemed overly excited as he finished another beer.

“Macy, didn’t get a last name. Blonde hair, lives with a chick named Michelle and a guy named Walter,” I casually replied. I immediately regretted the odds as they left my mouth. My original intentions were to call Macy so she wouldn’t be so worried that they killed her or something, but I guess I was now calling her to cancel some plans.

“Yeah...we know them. Macy and Michelle are kinda hot. Walter though, he is....” Steven was immediately interrupted before he could continue talking.

“Walter is an annoying pain in the ass prick who thinks just because he has money he owns the place,” Axl spat the words out like vile.

“I bet his money is the only reason he is living with two chicks. He’s probably the reason why that bassist...fuck what was her name you just said it.....beings with an M..never mind she wasn’t that good so it doesn’t matter...anyway he’s probably told the bassist to stop playing so she did. He wanted that little thing all to himself,” I wanted to punch Axl in the face as he talked. I wanted to beat him till he begged me to stop, but I couldn’t. He couldn’t have been more wrong, and part of me was terrified to know who agreed with him. He was one of the reasons I had to dress up as a guy. All I could do was sit there and be quiet. He wasn’t the first person to piss me off, and wouldn’t be the last.

“Want to see my snake?” I shot my head over towards Slash who was now on the edge of his seat. It was clear he wanted to change the conversation.

To say he caught me off guard was an understatement. I took a deep breath and replied, “no thanks man I don’t swing like that.”

The room erupted in laughter. Was this a thing guys did? Show each other their dicks? If so I was fucked? Maybe it was a welcome to the band thing? Like an initiation? If I was Michelle I would have taken him up on his offer. He seemed nice and he was hot, so why not. Duff...Duff wasn’t into guys. Actually no, Duff was into no one. He was focused on music and didn’t date.

“I have a snake in my room...not my fucking dick,” I couldn’t help join the guys laughing, especially Axl who was on the verge of tears.

“Same answer, I don’t do snakes,” I tried to casually replied.

“Finally another fucking same person!” Axl cheered out loud.

“Good to know I’m not the only one,” I smiled back.

I knew nothing about Guns N’ Roses, but I’ve heard stories about Axl. I know how lead singers like to run the show. If I was on Axl’s good side, my life in the band was going to be a lot easier.

I watched Slash’s heart sink as he leaned back in his chair.

Did I feel bad? Yes, but there was no way I was going to willingly walk into the same room as a big snake with meat tied around my thigh.

By the time I got back from calling Macy, the guys changed plans to celebrate at a bar instead.

As I followed the guys into a bar, I quickly realized how fucked I was.

This wasn’t just any bar, this was the bar Pixie was known for hanging out at...or where known to frequent. I wouldn’t say I was kicked out of Pixie, the all girl’s pop/rock cover band, but I wouldn’t say I left on my own terms either. To make a long story short, they didn’t care about the music. They were only in for it for the guys. They were a cover band that was going nowhere, or at least that’s what I tell myself.

“What’s your poison Duff,” I jumped when Steven patted his hands on my shoulders.

“Vodka,” I quickly responded. Usually I had it mixed, but today wasn’t one of those days. Plus later in the night I could get water and disguise it as vodka. I didn’t want to get plastered and accidentally reveal that I was a girl dressed as a guy.

I joined Slash at a booth and we all immediately got talking. Just like earlier, the conversation flowed almost as fast as the drinks.

“I hope Pixie isn’t playing tonight,” Izzy casually said before looking at me.

THAT MOTHER FUCKER. He had to know I was actually Michelle.

“Why?” It was more of question as to why he was bringing them up instead of why he didn’t want to hear them play.

“They suck. I’m surprised that Michelle didn’t mention it to you. Her being another bassist in all. I assumed y’all talked,” Izzy spoke in a matter of factly tone.

“Didn’t know she played with Pixie,” I causally responded trying not to raise suspicion. Before I could ask how could things get any worse, the universe quickly answered that question.

“What the fuck you doing here,” my heart stopped when I heard Cindy’s voice. A voice I didn’t particularly want to hear tonight since she was the one who thought I needed to get kicked out of Pixie. How did she know it was me?

HOW?

“It’s a bar, we’re drinking. Don’t act like you own the place because you don’t,” Izzy casually answered. It was clear he was beyond done with the female singer. I felt relief flood through my bones as Cindy remained focused on Izzy.

“Who’s this,” my eyes followed the voice to see Betsie, the drummer standing next to Cindy.

“Duff, and he’s our bassist so stay the fuck away from him,” I remained frozen as I watched Betsie’s eyes light up.

Betsie, the girl I taught how to play drums.

The girl who was there for me when I thought I was pregnant. (Thank God I wasn’t. I was also a paranoid virgin at the time with a really bad sex Ed teacher...don’t ask)

The girl who fought to get me on Pixie. The girl who fought to keep me on Pixie when everyone else wanted me gone.

I could change my hair and my clothes, but I knew mannerisms would be the hardest part to change. I had a plan though...more of a thought, but there was still a thought so that has to count for something. I didn’t expect to run into my old band mate who did my makeup before every show. The band mate who knew exactly what my face looked like.

I saw recognition in her eyes the moment our eyes locked. This wasn’t like the looks I saw plastered on Izzy’s or Axl’s face. She knew exactly who I was. This was pure recognition of an old friend.

The friend who many blame me for the downfall of Pixie.

Yeah, I was fucked.

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whatsseobb · 4 years ago

Text

More Than Meets The Eye (Crystal x Gigi Fanfic) - Chapter 3

AO3 Link

[A/N: Hello! I’m sorry this took over a week to be updated. Real life is just getting too much for me but I’m trying my best to write. However, please expect for slow updates. I’m sorry. Thank you for waiting. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

I hope you enjoy this fic and leave me your thoughts!!]

Synopsis:

Too bad that you couldn’t see

See the girl Crystal could be

There is more that meets the eye

I see the soul that is inside~

Based from Avril Lavigne’s Sk8ter Boi but with different twists.

Chapter Three - Under the Moonlight

Two vehicles parked along the edge on the hilltop, the overlooking view of the city below them painted their scenery. The lights from below lighted the small cliff, enabling them to have a little source of brightness under than the luminescence brought by the moonlight.

The two groups merged once more as Heidi blasted the music coming from the car’s radio louder for them to all hear. They all gathered by the pick-up truck, getting their red cups once again and cheering.

They were all partying by the back of the car when they realized one person was left inside the car, silently staring at her phone. Jackie went in and talked to Daegen silently which the others tried not to listen to.

It didn’t take a while before the pink-haired girl joined them, bumped her cup and downed her drink before screaming by the cliff, “Fuck all guys! They are all pieces of worthless shit!” She yelled at the top of her lungs which gained a few giggles from the girls before they all said “Yeah!” in agreement to her.

“You know, I don’t think I’m gonna be dating anyone in a long time. I’m going to focus on myself, love myself and all that.” Daegen said in a tone that seems to be trying to convince herself rather than being extremely sure about it.

“What happened back there anyway?” Jan asked as if reading the minds of the whole bunch. True, they were clueless to what took place and they all had no courage to ask during the car ride to the cliff.

Lux was the first to explain, assuming what she might have seen that moment from the party. “Well, Noah suddenly appeared in the party… and was dancing with another girl.” She looked at Daegen to confirm her statement which the pink-haired girl continued.

“Yeah, he told me he was going to rest for the night because he fried his brains out from the exams but…” She shrugged before taking another sip of her drink. “I saw him dancing with this girl from our PE class. She’s not even good at sports. What’s to like about her?”

Widow cleared her throat before she stood up in the middle of the two cars, bopping to the beat that was being played from the radio. “Forget about boys. Speaking of dancing, you should all join me here and dance along.”

Soon after, half of the group joined Widow while the rest stayed at the back of the car, watching their friends. Gigi was sitting at the edge of the truck, letting her feet dangle as she looked at the overlooking view in front of them. Crystal went to sit beside her, joining in her silence. She dug her hand inside her pocket and picked up another cigarette, lighting it up and taking a puff. The blonde just looked at her, tilting her head to the side as she observed the teenager.

Gigi was trying to pinpoint where she might have met her before. The sapphire waves coming down from her head, the silver nose ring, the black and silver earrings on her earlobes, the black blouse topped with a denim jacket, a short black skirt over a stripped black and white tights. They all looked like she have seen it before. The girl beside her looked like trouble, with her blue-hair being the accent against her black and white outfit. She appeared to be like someone Gigi would choose last when asked to pick partners in their PE classes but here she was sitting beside her by the cliff.

“What? Do you want some?” Crystal offered, handing her the roll of cigarette in her fingers. Gigi refused politely, offering her a small smile.

“I don’t smoke. Isn’t that bad for you? Plus you’re also drinking.”

“Well, Ms. Goode, thanks for your concern but I’ll be fine.”

“How did you know me? Do we have classes together?” The blonde tilted her head to the side as she glanced at the person beside her.

“The question is do I attend classes? Haha kidding. I think we used to have History back in second year. Now I’m not entirely sure. Maybe English or Literature?”

“Mhm.” The blonde hummed under her breath, playing with her cup that was placed on her lap. “Since when did you start smoking? Do you always have that with you? Is it like a thing for someone like you?

“What do you mean someone like me? Am I like an alien or something?” Crystal darted her eyes towards the blonde beside her, watching her laugh at her question. “What’s funny about it?”

“No no, I mean, like you. Uhm, people who skates and likes metal rock stuff.” The ballerina was fiddling with her cup, staring at the clear content inside it. She watched the ripples as it bounced against the wall of the container.

“Metal rock stuff? Me? It’s not a match. Wait, do you mean because I dress up like this I like dark stuff already? I mean it’s not offensive but woah with the stereotype.” The sapphire-haired girl placed her hand on her chest, her lips turning into an O-shape as she imitate a hurt gasp, making the girl beside her chuckle lightly.

“Oh my, I’m sorry. It’s just th-“

“Yeah, I know I look like someone who likes those kinds of stuff just because of the way I dress and what I do with my skateboard, but believe me, I’m not. Not that they are not good choices of music tho, it’s just not my style.” Gigi looked down again at her cup, frowning. “Hey, it’s fine. I’m not mad.”

“But I’m really sorry for assuming things. I-“

“I said it’s fine. Come on, chill.” Crystal nudged the girl beside her with her elbow. She took another inhale of her joint before she puffed it out. The other girl just glanced at her with a faint smile on her face before looking at the view in front of them once more. She adjusted her pink jacket wrapping around her shoulders, pulling it tighter closer to her body to feel warmth. Crystal couldn’t help but notice the shifting beside her. She scooted closer towards the blonde. “I have an extra jacket in the truck. Do you want me to get it for you?”

“Oh no need. You can use it later cause I think it’s gonna get colder soon.” The blonde responded as she swing her legs while looking at the horizon. The blue-haired girl jump down from the back of the truck and jogged to get her coat. As Crystal returned back to Gigi’s side, she put it over her shoulder and let her hands rest on them firmly but not too tight.

“I’ll get it from you later when I need it. You can use it for now.”

Meanwhile, in the makeshift dance floor, the bunch of girls were enjoying the time of their lives. They all cheered, dancing along to the songs in synchrony as if they were all part of a dance group. It was a Britney Spears song that everyone was familiar with. Their giggles and singing echoed the area as they had their little party.

Jan and Jackie paired with each other as they danced to the song. They grooved and swayed their hips to the song as they had a little chat over the loud music.

“You are good at dancing, Jan.” Jackie commented, watching as the other girl in front of her bopped to the beat of the song from the radio.

“Well, of course. I am part of the dance group, remember?” The short blonde took a swig of her drink which caused her to cough a bit as she felt the alcohol run through her throat. “Woah. This is strong. But anyway, you are not bad yourself. You have some good dance moves. You should join us, maybe. So we could get to hang out more!” Jackie shook her head at the suggestion as she took her hand and twirled her around, which made the two laugh.

“I don’t want to embarrass myself any further. Plus, I have the school magazine to focus on to. I like peaceful spaces more.”

“But it’ll be fun. Come on, I can teach you our dance routines some time.” Jan offered as she continued her mini dance.

“No, but thanks, really. I just like dancing here with all of you. Plus dance while drunk is much more fun.”

“Should I always give you drinks just to let loose? I think that would be really bad for you, we both know that.” Jackie took her hand again and spun her around.

“Oh no, I’m sorry.” A light-headed Jan accidentally stepped on the Persian girl’s foot, making her slightly wince in pain. She bent her knee and reached for her foot which Jan held as well, trying to caress it. “I’m really sorry, Ja-“

“Jackie, my name’s Jackie.” The brunette offered her a kind smile as they both tried to sooth the pain on her foot.

“Wait, let me get something cold. Just stay there.” Jan looked around as she tried to locate the pick-up truck with her blurry vision, which was behind Jackie. She hurried towards the car only to bump against Jackie once again. “Oops, I did it again.”

That made the brunette roll her eyes with the joke she tried to share, letting out soft chuckles. “I think it would be best if I go with you. Who knows how many feet you’re going to bump with and step on your way to the car.”

“Hi Lux. Are you having fun?” Jan noticed Gigi approaching them who was gently swaying her hips as she danced along the music. She met eyes with Jackie who shook her head at the statement of the tipsy girl.

“She surely is drunk. It was Gigi, Jan.” Jackie led the way towards Widow’s car, settling Jan inside before she went to get a cold drink for her feet.

Gigi found Widow and Heidi on their makeshift dance floor as she felt the alcohol kicking in to her system. It helped her loosen up, allowing her to enjoy the music and bop along with her friends even with the company of people she just met. She lifted her arms into the air, feeling the melody flowing through her veins.

Back at the truck, Daya was hanging out with Crystal, the two of them standing and leaning at the roof of the car, watching their friends in their dancefloor. They silently stood by each other, passing the cigarette as they let the other enjoy the winter breeze paired with their joint.

“That Gigi doesn’t seem to be that quiet, hm?” Crystal broke the silence, turning to Daya as she pass the cig to her.

“Is she not? Oh yeah, I saw you two talking earlier. In all fairness, you made her laugh. I thought she’ll be a tough cookie to break even though she seem really soft.” The taller girl commented as she poured some drink onto Crystal’s cup. Daya then followed where the other was looking at before laying her eyes on the girl beside her, letting out a soft sigh.

“She’s quite something…” The smaller one trailed off as she locked her eyes on the ballerina, watching her dance with the bunch of girls. Her hair was flawlessly bouncing against her shoulders as she jumped around to the beat, her giggles echoing onto their small spot by the cliff. Crystal noticed the moonlight reflecting on her as if her skin was glistening under the moon’s touch.

Present Day, 2020.

The group were all at their large table by the stage, waiting for the program to officially start. They knew they had come earlier than the time but they did that as to have a longer time to be with their girlfriends as well as to update each other with their current lives. It had been some years since they all came together in one place. They were always incomplete for the past years that they had gathered. Sometimes it would be Lux, Daegen, Daya, and Crystal when they all went to visit Crystal and Lux in California. Sometimes it would be Daegen, Jackie, Jan, and Gigi in the East Coast to watch a musical. There was also a year when they almost were complete. It was during a tour Gigi and her dance company did back in their hometown. Everyone was available that weekend except for Crystal who was having her hell week for her finals in her art degree.

That reunion party was the first time after years that they were complete. Surely, they missed each other. They were all in relief as they all didn’t lose touch of each other especially with the growth of social media back in their college days which made it easier for the group to keep in touch. It also made them be as close as they used to be back in high school. It was as if they were never apart. At least for most of them.

“I’ll be right back. The band is calling me, I think there’s something wrong with the instruments. Later.” The dark-haired vocalist bid a short goodbye to her girlfriends as she walked back to the side of the stage and approaching her bandmates.

“So Lux, how has it been with you? I heard you started your own small boutique. When we go to San Francisco maybe we can all visit your store.” Jan mentioned as she picked up a piece of nacho chip and shoved it in her mouth, turning to look at the small blonde girl across the table.

“Business is going great, really. Lately, people have been fond of the vintage dresses that I make. They were asking if I also do customized pieces.”

“Do you also do wedding dress, Lux?” Heidi asked from one side of the table, smiling from ear to ear as she shifted her eyes around the table. Eyes darted back on her in confusion. “What? I’m just asking.”

“Is it for a movie? Wow, I thought you have a lot of costume designers already. That would be a pleasure to work in your movie tho. But I don’t make wedding dresses. I can give you some of my friends’ number from college.” Lux took her phone from her small purple bag as she looked for her friends’ contact information.

“Something is fishy here…” Widow shot a look towards the actress as she playfully looked around while whistling. “Hey, don’t tell us…”

Heidi then showed a flashing diamond ring that she wore on her left hand which surprised the whole table. It earned loud squeals and cheers from her girlfriends as they ran towards her. “Oh my gosh, Di, I didn’t know you are getting married!”

“We are so happy for you!”

“Congratulations!” A few of the people around their table looked at their direction since their noise were getting louder but the group didn’t mind. They are used to all the stares they get when they are all having fun.

“Wait, does the media know already? I’m pretty sure I follow all news about you. How come this didn’t come out yet?” Daegen said as she wrapped her arms around Heidi excitedly.

“Well well well, I made sure you all are the first ones to know. He proposed just this last week for our 11th anniversary. Can you believe it? I’m getting hitched!”

“Oh gosh, finally. It’s about time, don’t you think?” The group chuckled at Widow’s statement.

Out of nowhere, Jan burst into fits of laughter, covering her mouth as she tried to silenced herself but to no avail. The whole table looked at her in confusion as she continued laughing on her own. “Wait wait, hahahaha. I’m sorry. I just… hahahaha…remembered something.”

“It better be worth the laugh or you have to find your new table, Janette.” Daegen threw a table napkin towards her direction but it landed on Widow’s plate. This made the blonde laugh some more. Jackie had to offer her a glass of water to help her calm down.

“Okay, so here it goes. I suddenly remembered this thing back in high school. I am not sure if we were friends already but it did happen during dance rehearsals and the table napkin is so funny as if it read my mind because it was a story about Widow.” The taller girl shot daggers through her eyes towards Jan’s direction, murmuring “don’t you dare.”

“I love you, Widow.” Jan mouthed back before continuing with her story. “Alright, so dance rehearsals. We were all there, of course practicing and then suddenly, we heard a very loud ‘WHERE IS MY GODDAMN PHONE’ from the front of the stage. We were about to have a run-through of our routine but her phone was “missing”.” She did some air quotes with her fingers.

Gigi, who was on her phone, started giggling as well as she remembered the story Jan was referring to. “Widow just got mad at us and we have no idea why because we were all on our own groups stretching and warming up for the rehearsals.”

“Then Widow said, ‘I swear, if you all don’t bring out my phone right now, y’all have to stay here and do ten extra laps around the auditorium. ‘ We all looked at each other, then Heidi started laughing. I swear I thought my cheeks were burning that time because I was so scared for her.” Jan reached out her hand and placed it above Heidi’s who gently caressed it back. “We were all trying to stop Heidi from laughing until she pointed to the metal box Widow was holding back then. I swear she was so scary but it was so funny watching her get mad at us for that.”

The whole table started to burst into loud cackles as they listened to what Jan shared to them. They didn’t even notice Gigi excusing herself as she half-ran towards the exit with her phone in her hand, hurrying towards a much quieter place.

She reached the outside of the building, standing beside a small tree as she answered the call from someone. She talked for a few minutes before she turned back aiming for the door until a figure at the corner of her eyes caught her attention. She was wearing sparkly silver jacket and some tight leather pants, paired with black boots which was hard to miss. In the middle of her finger was a thin stick of cigarette, its smoke fuming into the air. Gigi was supposed to ignore it and go back to her friends when she heard, “Hey.”

She was stopped on her tracks, her mind wandering aimlessly as she looked down at her phone. She inhaled a deep breath, fixing the strands of hair falling onto her face, before glancing to the direction of the voice. “Oh hi.”

“I just came out to get some fresh air. Are they all having fun inside? Uhm, do you want some?” Crystal offered her a stick which Gigi politely refused.

“You know I don’t smoke.” Gigi glided towards where Crystal was, leaning her side against a column.

“Oh yeah, Ms. Goode. I remember that.” The smaller girl exhaled a chuckle as she shook her head before taking a puff of her stick.

“I thought you stopped.” It came out more like a statement rather than question as Gigi focused her eyes on her shoe, her right foot rocking back and forth as she waited for a reply.

“There are just some things that are harder to quit.”

Silence enveloped the atmosphere as they both slowly realize what Crystal’s words meant. It had been a really long time, years even, since they have been left alone with just each other’s company. The first time they met were similar to their situation now, awkward, back in the first party they attended together but things quickly changed between the two. They grew close together, comfortable with each other’s’ presence. They were friends, to say the least, always looking out for each other, searching for one another when times of need. However, they seemed to be back to square one.

They both were caught off guard when they heard some footsteps towards their spot. Crystal then felt a pair of long arms hovering over her shoulder, wrapping her into a back hug. “There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you. We’re about to start performing again. You should go back inside,” said the person behind her.

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lovelyamneris · 4 years ago

Note

“Look at us, just two innocent people doing innocent things!” - Jerry & Elaine (it can be platonic, romantic or whatever - I don't mind, I'm just sad there's so little Seinfeld fic 🥺)

Thank you! I hope you like this. Nervous about it, but when am I not. Let me know how you like it anon <3 <3 <3

AO3 Link

If anybody wants to send more characters + fandoms + sentence prompts you’re more than welcome to. thanks! 💗 💗

Elaine liked the comedy club. She honestly did. She’d go to watch Jerry’s act, which occasionally could be rather funny, because she’d much rather be out spending her night getting free entertainment from her friend than sitting at home and doing nothing. Really, who needs more nothing anyway?

Elaine was leaning up against the bar post show, drinking some fruit flavored cocktail, and trying to forget how absolutely bored she currently was. Jerry was way more cocky than usual that night, very up on himself like he was some big hot shot funny guy in a fancy red suit, and Elaine was left by herself to fend off random comedians approaching her and trying to make her laugh with some lame joke. If she had to put up with Jerry’s lame jokes all day, she was not trying to deal with it from anyone else. One comedian friend was enough, she thought.

Jerry was standing further down the stretch of the bar counter, flirting with some pretty fan with a M name like Mandy or Monica, acting as if he hadn’t already agreed to share a taxi home with Elaine. She rolled her eyes and spun her straw around in her glass.

She was shamelessly eavesdropping at this point. Jerry made some lame joke about bar etiquette and the fan laughed. But, Elaine was about seventy percent sure it was a pity laugh at best.

God, she was just so bored.

Elaine would’ve even settled for George right about then. He could ramble on and on about whatever minor inconveniences that Susan was causing him that week and she'd just suck it up and listen. Or even better, one of the performers could trip and fall off the stage. That would be hilarious and definitely would’ve made her entire night. Elaine grinned just thinking about it. But the next show wasn’t starting for another half hour so that sadly wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

A couple minutes passed and at this point she was not only bored out of her mind, but a bit tipsy as well. She watched uninterested as performers and fans filtered in and out of the club.

That’s when she noticed a familiar face over by one of the tables on the opposite side of the room. It was one of her co-workers, a tall way too handsome curly haired blonde who Elaine couldn’t stand. One time he offhandedly mentioned that he had a pet fish and of course Elaine wanted to see it. Elaine loved fish. She loved their cute little glassy eyes and their colorful scaly skin. And this dude took terrible care of his goldfish! It was awful. They deserved an aquarium or big tank or at least a proper Easter Island Head to swim in. But his fish had none of that! It was an outrage. Elaine certainly thought so.

She took another sip of her cocktail and made up her mind. She was going to steal his keys and then use them to break into his office. Then she'd steal his fish to give them a better home. And she needed Jerry’s help. Maybe that was the alcohol speaking but maybe not. Either way, she going to do it.

Elaine, determined, made her way down the bar to get Jerry’s attention.

“Jerry.” Elaine said, putting herself right beside him and the fan. Jerry tried his best to ignore her, still flirting with Mandy or Monica or whatever her name was, “Jerry. Jerry. Jerry.”

The fan gave Elaine a look, like she was a crazy person or something, and then narrowed her eyes at Jerry, “I think she wants your attention.”

Jerry waved her off, smiling his big funny guy smile, “She’s just a stalker. Crazy escaped mental patient. Just ignore her.”

Elaine groaned, briefly looking back to make sure her blonde unfairly handsome co-worker was still there, “Can I please borrow my husband for a moment.”

The pretty fan with the M name scoffed and gave Jerry a dirty look, “Go for it. I'm leaving."

“Wait! It’s not what you think—” Jerry tried, eventually sighing in defeat as Mandy or Monica or whoever takes off. “What was that for! She was into me!”

His voice was all high-pitched and upset but Elaine could tell he wasn’t upset at all. It must’ve been something about the way he always smirked through everything he said, even when he had every right to be annoyed, like he was just waiting to break out into laughter. Elaine was pretty sure she could shoot him point blank and he’d be on the brink of laughter through his dying breaths.

“Relax.” Elaine said smoothly, “She wasn’t into you.”

“She was sending signals!” Jerry exclaimed and Elaine scoffed. Jerry looked pretty funny in his suit. Elaine was sure that it must’ve been some comedian trick to make the fans laugh. You know, the fact that he already looked goofy before he even started telling the jokes. Jerry continued, “She was definitely into me.”

They were standing across from each other now, illuminated by the bright bar lights and surrounded by the laughter and loud chatter from the room post show. Elaine was also pretty flushed from the booze in her fruit flavored cocktail and she noticed that Jerry was still high from the crowd's laughter. It really did something for his confidence didn't it?

“Oh please, there were no signals. I would’ve sensed signals.” Elaine said, looking up at him and brushing it off. She pushed her cocktail across the counter towards him, “Do you want this? I’m cutting myself off.”

Elaine knew signals. She was constantly sending signals. If Mandy or Monica or whoever was sending signals, then she’d know. Oh, she’d know. And she’d support Jerry, of course she would!

“She wasn’t sending them to you. You wouldn’t have heard them.” Jerry pushed her drink back towards her, “And I don’t want this.”

“Jerry I’m a woman.” Elaine said seriously, like explaining something to somebody stupid, “If she was sending signals, I would’ve picked up on them. Before you even.” She pushed her drink back towards him, “I don’t want it either.”

Jerry sighed in defeat, “Well, you have my attention.” He gave in and was drinking her fruit flavored cocktail now. It actually wasn’t half bad? Jerry considers that the fruit flavored alcoholic beverages are objectively better, but men are to afraid to admit it for fear of being judged. Considering that, he was craving a Shirley Temple.

“Good.” Elaine said, smiling all big back at him. And honestly, the smile was a little suspicious too. She nodded her head towards the opposite side of the room, “I need you to go distract that guy over there.”

Jerry very conspicuously looked across the room. Elaine’s co-worker was talking to one of the other comedians. Jerry made a face, “Distract him? Who do you think I am?”

“Come on Jerry, please.” Elaine practically begged. She needed to save those poor little fish! She was determined! “Just do your comedy bit on him. Ask him about the airplane food.”

“Hey, that’s a stereotype.” Airplane food? Please. But then again, what was the deal with airplane food? “I’m not a preforming monkey Elaine. I can’t just go into material on cue.”

On stage they were getting ready for the next comedian to start his bit. The staff was adjusting the microphone to accommodate someone not as unnaturally tall and lanky as Jerry. In the back of Elaine’s mind she was subconsciously begging for somebody to trip and fall.

“Please.” Elaine tried, not breaking eye contact with him.

“No.”

“For me?”

“That shtick doesn’t work on me anymore.” Jerry declared, “Maybe when we were dating. But I’m not falling for it! I have willpower.”

Elaine scoffed, because yeah right!, and gave him the best pouty begging look she could manage, “Jer--ry.”

Willpower. Willpower!

“Fine.” Jerry conceded begrudgingly, “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Elaine grinned again, crossing her arms accomplished. “Thank you!”

Jerry made his way over to Elaine’s coworker, the unnaturally attractive bad fish owner, trying to think of a way to distract that guy. He waved her off, “Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.”

Later as they were standing outside the comedy club, close to midnight, Jerry gave Elaine a suspicious look. They were standing by a stop sign, on the edge of the sidewalk waiting for a taxi, and Elaine had her hands shoved in her jacket pockets all suspiciously. She was looking at him with a big grin on her face, very pleased with herself, just waiting for him to ask what she did so she could fill him in on the undoubtedly wild shenanigans. Nobody just asks you to distract somebody if something isn't going down, Jerry thought. You only distract people in schemes and movies.

“Okay what was that?” Jerry asked, very curious. They were standing very close together, practically inches apart beneath the stop sign, as the sidewalk was busy with fans leaving the comedy club and New Yorker's having late night adventures.

“What was what?” Elaine asked innocently, still smiling all big and proud of herself, knowing exactly what he meant by that.

“Elaine.”

“Fine. I stole his keys." Elaine pulled the keychain out of her pocket and held them out, "See.”

“Any particular reason? Or have you just decided to start up a life of crime?”

“Hey, you distracted him, Jerry. That makes you,” She points up at him, “An accomplice.”

“You’re right.” He agrees, “Look at us, just two innocent people doing innocent things.”

Elaine smiled even bigger at that, if that was even possible. Cars flashed by them, casting shadows, and they were looking at each other now, in the familiar way that neither of them could ever figure out. There definitely was something there, a feeling maybe? It probably didn't matter.

“Okay, come on.” Elaine said, breaking them out of whatever moment they may or may not have been having, spotting a taxi somewhere in the late night traffic. She waved down the taxi driver, stepping slightly off the curb. “We have to break into his office and steal his goldfish.”

This was definitely going to end in chaos.

#thank you <3 #seinfeld #seinfeld fanfic #prompt requests #ao3 tag

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themandadolorian · 4 years ago

Text

Paz Vizla NSFW Alphabet

Originally posted by coredrive

A/N: okay tumblr was being dumb so I had to re-upload. So yeah, here is my - what is sure to be hot pile of garbage that I wrote at midnight last night lol. Listerally this is by far the most sinful thing I’ve ever written/posted so please don’t come for me. It took everything in me to post this in the first place 🙈

Warnings below the cut

Warnings: Pretty self explanatory? Y’all know how these things work. Smut, Paz has a breeding kink (obvi), and yeah. It’s just a bunch of sin y’all. I’m a hoe for Paz okay?

///

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Okay, as we all know Paz may appear intimidating and brutish, but he is a total fucking teddy bear and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. No matter how slow, sensual, rough, or fast he takes you, he will ALWAYS make sure you are taken care of afterwards. Whether it’s just a warm cloth or a full on shower he will make sure you are both clean before slipping under the covers and pulling you into his chest.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Okay I feel like Paz is like an ass and thighs kinda guy. I know, I know - super stereotypical guy stuff but like?? He has really big hands okay? And he loves to just grab handfuls of you and squeeze you. He loves wrapping his hands around your thighs and picking you up and pressing you to the wall when neither of you are patient enough to make it to the bed. But he also loves just taking handfuls of your ass in his palms as he fucks down into you.

OOF.

Yeah Paz is definitely an ass and thighs kind of guy.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Okay - BITCH. We ALL KNOW that this big blue bastard has a fucking breeding kink, something that I will discuss further down the alphabet lol. So like his favorite place to cum is definitely inside you. ESPECIALLY if you aren’t on contraceptive (and have had the appropriate baby talk lol).

But despite that being his fave place, I definitely think he has a thing for seeing it on you too. I believe Paz is a very uh…territorial man - and if he’s in the right kinda mood I don’t think he would hesitate to

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Oof okay so thanks to @stubbychaos and @hdlynn for helping me with this one bc I was struggling lol. But this man DEF has a thing for wanting to be the submissive one sometimes. He’s never done it before but he’s always wanted to try it. But he will never for the life of him bring it up to you on his own. He has a reputation to uphold you know? But if you mention it first one day? Lord help him, he won’t hesitate before complying. You being in charge in the bedroom instead of him? Cuffing his hands together and magnetizing them to the hull so he has to beg to touch you?

Phew…yeah he’s into that.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Paz is pretty experienced. I think he definitely knows what he’s doing in the bedroom when it comes to the act itself. HOWEVER - I don’t think this man has been in a lot of long term relationships? I feel like that is new to him,so while he knows what he’s doing and how to pleasure you, he is still learning the romantic dynamics lol.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

I definitely take Paz as a no-nonsense kind of guy, when he’s with you in that way (no matter how y’all are doing it lol) he wants to make sure you are getting the pleasure you deserve. And when he’s making love to you? Forget it man. This dude is so fucking serious and soft and just UGH. I don’t think he takes it lightly I guess is what I’m trying to say. Especially if you haven’t sworn the riddurok yet - being that vulnerable with you and placing that much trust in you takes a lot and I don’t think either of you really jokes around in the actual moment.

But Paz is definitely a funny guy. He won’t hesitate to tease you or cast a dirty comment your way when he has the chance. While he takes your relationship seriously he also has a sense of humor - especially leading up to the moment itself.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I don’t think Paz really thinks about stuff like that tbh. His life is hectic - he has a job to do and people to protect so I don’t think he concerns himself with stuff like that. Really the only grooming he tries to keep up with is his facial hair, he makes sure to keep it neat under the helmet because if he didn’t it just causes him irritation. But he makes sure not to go completely clean shaven simply because he relishes in the noises you make when his scruff scrapes along the tender skin of your neck when he leaves kisses there - or even better - when it brushes along the inside of your thighs. Yeah, those noises are his favorite.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

I think Paz is a total romantic and you can’t change my mind.

Like i said before, he’s never really done the long term relationship thing so he wants to do it right ya know? He’s always checking to make sure you’re okay and enjoying what he’s doing. Whispering sweet words of praise and pleasure into your ears as he thrusts into you. He just loves to be with you in every way possible, touching you, holding you - anything.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Hey, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

He travels alot, and sometimes he’s away from you for longer than usual. This results in some more….depraved evenings alone in the refresher. It’s even worse when you send him a particularly lewd hologram of yourself. Then he definitely can’t help himself.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Okay - here we go friends. I am finally going to address two anonymous asks I have gotten in this section, SO:

● Breeding kink: This man has one, plain and simple. He honestly discovered it by accident once when he saw you holding one of the foundlings in the covert, rocking it to sleep. From that moment he was a goner. The minute you walked into your shared quarters, he had stripped you both down and was on you the moment you were bare before him. Just the thought of you, belly swollen with his child? A future Mandalorian to carry on his name? Yeah. the minute that image crosses his mind he’s gone - spending himself inside you before pulling you to his chest and rolling onto his side, never leaving you the entire time.

● Biting/Marking: Again, another ask I received that I have been gaining the courage to post lol. As stated earlier, Paz is somewhat territorial and kind of protective. He in no way sees you as some kind of property, but when you are together, he wants everyone to know. The morning After a night of passion when he returns from a mission, he sees the bruises on your hips and the dark purple marks on your breasts and neck and he almost takes you again right then and there. From that moment, he makes it a personal mission of his to leave behind at least a couple pieces of evidence. Not that you are complaining of course.

● Okay this one is kinda mean I think but - idk why - but I think this man has a thing for making you cry 🙈 Obviously this isn’t in a bad or painful kind of way. More, he wants to see you cry out in pure euphoria. You’ve gone several rounds, and he’s pulled more than a few orgasms out of you and that’s when he sees the wet trails down your cheeks.The first time he was worried - afraid that he had hurt you ror pushed you too far, but you explained that it was just that good - OOOO this man just keeps on going.

● Finally, working off that last one, Paz 100% has a praise kink. He just absolutely loves hearing your gasps of pleasure and encouragement to ‘keep going’ or ‘just like that Paz, maker-!’. It just spurs him on because he knows he’s doing at least one thing right.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Paz definitely prefers either your quarters on the ship or in the covert. He doesn’t really like wearing the helmet when you are together like that and the only place he feels safe enough to remove the helmet is in those two places. Plus, it’s just more comfortable.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

YOU WEARING HIS SHIRTS. That man turns feral if he sees you in one of his shirts. The way it’s so large on you yet only comes to about mid-thigh? Yeah, that is an instant turn on for him 100%.

Also as weird as this might sound he absolutely loves it when you tease him. Mainly because he knows when you do that, that neither of you are aiming for a soft experience lol. Usually when you tease him by wearing those tiny shorts you own or by flirting with someone else just to get his attention, you all won’t even make it back to the safety of your quarters.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Paz will not do ANYTHING that involves hurting you. Period. One of his biggest fears is accidentally hurting or losing the ones he loves, so there is no way he will intentionally cause you pain or harm. I think the only exception to that would be like spanking? But he only does that if you beg him too. But absolutely no knife play, etc…

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

This man will Happily go down on you. And he’s definitely skilled at it. Honestly I think going down on you is probably one of his favorite things and he does it every chance he gets. Because not only does it bring you pleasure, but he loves the way you taste and the way your fingers pull at his hair as you beg him for release….yeah it’s just all around a good time for every one lol.

He also likes receiving but I think he definitely prefers to give rather than receive.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Again I think he’s both. However, I think he leans towards fast and rough, mainly because sometimes all you both have time for is a quick bout before he’s off to his next responsibility or job. But don’t put it past the man to make that up to you. He is always slow and sensual when he gets the chance. Taking his time to touch you and explore every inch of you in an effort to memorize the expanse of your skin and the things that make you tick.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

As stated above, I think quickies can be a regular occurrence between you two, but I also don’t see them happening like all the time, if that makes sense?

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I think Paz is game to try out some new stuff. Again as long as it’s nothing that could harm either one of you, I don’t think he would mind straying from his comfort zone.. Especially if you’re the one asking.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Listen…this man FUCKS. Like a lot and for a really long ass time. Like each round may not last like super duper long (unless he’s feeling like a tease then he will drag each one out as long as possible) but this man can go so many rounds. He fucking loves it too.

Sometimes you won’t even have time to catch your breath before Paz is ready to go again and there are tears in your eyes as he just continues to rail into you despite you both having reached your highs several times. This man’s stamina is like no other y’all.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I don’t think Paz is really into toys himself. I mean if it’s something that you want to do/try he won’t say no but I don’t see him being the one to seek them out or own them. And if he did use one it would definitely be on his partner rather than himself.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Honestly? Paz can be such a fucking tease. I don’t think it’s something he does like all the time or anything but if he’s in a particular mood or you’ve been a brat all day, he will not hesitate to be unfair as hell. Like just going until you are right on the edge of release and then stopping completely, making you cry out in frustration before picking up again and doing the same thing over and over again. He pretty much won’t stop until your sobbing beneath him begging him to let you cum. Them and only then will he relent and finally, finally, get you to that point of release, following not far behind you.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

hmmm…I feel like he definitely has a thing for an SO that is smaller than him. More in the sense that they are just shorter. He likes to tease you or put things on taller shelves so you have to ask for his help. But he also loves it because it makes it easier to pick you up and toss you onto the bed. Or, since he’s a lot larger than most people, he loves the way his hands look on your body. The way they just like engulf you and make you shiver - yeah idk. But he’s into that lol.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Do I really even have to say it? Because I feel like we all know lol. But Paz is not lacking in that department at ALL. This man is very blessed, well-endowed, whatever the hell you want to call it okay? Honestly the first time you see it you’re a little bit concerned for your own well being lol.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Pretty fucking high lol. Paz is a horny bitch and that’s a hill I will die on.

He just loves being with you and near you in any way possible, but he especially loves being with you in this way. As stated several times before, having never been in many relationships, he relishes in the trust and vulnerability that he is allowed to have with you. But beyond all of that kind of stuff he just loves pleasuring you. Loves hearing the whines and gasps you let out as he fucks you. He loves the way your hands grip his shoulders or the way your nails rake down his back, reminding him the next day how much you enjoyed it. Yeah, Paz fucks okay? And he enjoys it a lot lol.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I don’t think he’s one of those people to just konk out afterwards lol. But he also doesn’t stay awake for too long. He will make sure you are both cleaned up before slipping back into bed next to you, pulling you to his chest and running his hand gently up and down your back. Tracing every little dip and curve of your body, until your breathing evens out and your warm breath fans over his chest. This is usually when he will fall asleep. He will drift off to your steady breaths and the feeling of your skin against his own.

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chunkecheeks · 5 years ago

Text

a full summary of Joker (2019) because god I wish it was a joke

Okay so... lemme dump all this bullshit under a cut

if you want to know how this movie actually is without all the pain of sitting down for 2 hours feeling like you’re trapped in a very uncomfortable conversation then here you go! (warning for gun violence and inaccurate mental illness stuff)

Joker opens with the Joker (whose name is arthur) putting on clown makeup and manipulating his mouth to be a grin or frown with his fingers. This goes on for just long enough to feel uncomfortable. Joker cries.

Cut to Joker standing outside a shop in full clown getup with a sign advertising a business. A bunch of teens run by and steal his sign so he chases them into an alleyway where they smack him with the sign and then do this to him:

Also it’s revealed he has a laughing condition which I guess is a real condition but I highly doubt the depiction in this movie is accurate bc none of the ways they handle mental illness is accurate.

Arthur lives with his mother and has a weird Norman Bates esque relationship with her. He loves her a lot. This is important information for later when Really Dumb plot shit happens

So arthur is getting bullied by Mean Teenz and another dude at his clown agency just gives him a gun to protect himself. Guns are (obviously) not allowed to be carried on the job but the guy is like “no one has to know” Later Arthur is in the elevator with a cute girl who lives in his apartment building. She tries to make small talk with him and when the elevator stalls she mimes putting a gun to her head in jest. After they get off the elevator arthur does this back in a really exaggerated and uncomfortable way and she awkwardly smiles at him. Apparently he’s now in love

The next day he stalks this girl. That night she comes to his door and is like “hey are u talking me” and he’s like “haha yeah” and she’s like “okay cool i like u now”

Arthur goes to perform as a clown at a childrens hospital and then gun falls out of his pants and then he gets fired

Still in full clown suit many many hours later arthur rides the subway. A girl is getting harassed by 3 dudes. There is no reason for her to even be in this scene. I guess they were trying to build these 3 dudes up as bad guys but she looks to arthur for help and he just starts his nervous laughing thing and she leaves the subway train. The 3 dudes start bullying arthur and arthur opens fire on them MULTIPLE time. One escapes the train into the (conveniently empty) station and arthur shoots him multiple times. this part- god I wish i was fucking funny enough to write something like this, I was choking in the theater trying not to laugh because it was dead quiet but i was in TEARS

After murdering three guys arthur enters a public restroom. He hyperventilates for like a second AND THEN STARTS DOING AN INTERPRETIVE DANCE! This felt like it went on for five minutes but it was probably more like 1. But that seems to be a trend with the whole movie because it felt like it took me several years to sit through it.

After this he goes back to his apartment, knocks on the cute girl’s door, and when it opens he forcefully kisses her. She kisses him back because that’s totally not unwelcome and disgusting or anything (this is later apparently something that never happened but it doesn’t make it any less gross to watch in the moment)

The joker killing those three dudes sets off a revolution?? cause they were “rich”? They weren’t like CEOs or big figures in the economic world, they weren’t even rich enough to not have jobs or have their own businesses, they were just employees of Thomas Wayne??? And from what it seems it doesn’t look like the fact they were assholes is known by the general public. Like... I don’t think the murder of three random semi rich dudes would start an eat-the-rich style revolution. If it was like thomas wayne himself then yeah you can go for that angle but the glorification of Joker’s murders doesn’t seem logical

So joker tries doing standup comedy and sucks real hard

It’s revealed that Joker is Batman’s half brother so he goes to the Wayne’s house and does magic tricks for Bruce who is a little kid at this point and then he... sticks his fingers in Bruce’s mouth to make him smile??? for a long amount of time? and bruce never reacts. Also he chokes out a butler (im assuming alfred but he’s never named) in front of Bruce and then runs off

His mom has a stroke while he’s out and he finds out his mom was in an asylum for a while and he goes there and grabs her file and finds out that she was in there for schizophrenia and because her boyfriend abused both her and Arthur and he doesn’t remember this. He then goes to the hospital and, despite all the buildup of him loving his mother and never doubting her and believing her side of the story, assumes the schizophrenia thing makes it true that she was lying to him about thomas wayne being his dad and smothers her with a pillow. There’s a heart monitor that goes crazy while she’s being smothered but instead of flatlining when she dies it just shuts off? he’s never caught for this

He breaks into the apartment of the cute girl (who he has gone on several dates with at this point) and it’s revealed that their relationship never happened to emphasize that he’s CrAzY!! OOOOH! no surprise all of the mental illness stuff they try to pull in this is inaccurate, based off stereotypes, and as someone with psychosis it’s downright insulting.

Arthur then goes home and there’s an entire scene of him pulling everything out of his fridge and then crawling inside and the shot of the closed fridge lasts, again, an awkward amount of time.

He gets invited onto his favorite talk show because the talk show host saw his shitty standup and thought it would be funny if he got him on the show

He gets in full joker paint and also paints his tongue to remind the audience WHOA! THIS GUY IS CRAZY!

The clown who gave him the gun and another clown who’s a little person (and frankly only in the movie so they can make garbage jokes at his expense) come over bc they heard his mom died and then he kills the clown that gave him the gun

He goes dancing down the stairs like in that horrible trailer and the detectives looking for the clown who killed the subway dudes see him and are like “yeah okay that’s the guy” and chase him

He gets to the show and forcefully kisses a woman on air (for a very uncomfortable amount of time! again! also no one does anything the audience just cheers and the talk show host is like “haha wow what an entrance”) and then he makes a shitty joke about a dead kid and everyone is like hm that’s bad don’t joke about that and since the director of this film is one of those “political correctness ruined comedy! i can’t joke about anything anymore!” type guys I feel like this is a very self inserted gripe of his

He announces on live tv he killed the subway dudes and doesn’t get arrested instead the talk show host just like... tries to debate him

and then he goes “what do you get when you cross a mentally ill loner with a society that abandons him? you get what you deserve!” and shoots the talk show host. That’s the worst line I have ever heard in any movie ever

This sets off a riot and after joker gets arrested his supporters free him then lay his unconscious body on the hood of a cop car and crowd around him like he’s jesus

Bruce Wayne’s parents get killed in the meantime and then joker wakes up and does his interpretive dance on the hood of the car while everyone cheers

The movie ends with him in the asylum where he then kills another person and escapes

I don’t know what the end credits scene was because I could not take any more of this

#ghost talk

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