#i want cinnamon rolls 😭

[lakemuse]

HELLO??????????

[icterid-rubus]

I got a beautiful picture of my friend’s baby laying next to a stuffed bunny my dad bought, and Baby is smaller than the toy, cuddled under its ear. I’m fighting every urge and desire to make it my phones background.

[holographicbutch]

The world does not want me to go to my favorite restaurant

[canibalistic-brownie]

Multi shippers are cool but why always three? Why stop there? Why not make a fun little map of ships that your readers have to check at the top of every chapter to remember where tf your web is at today? The possibilities are endless you fucking cowards!!!

[rmorde]

PHANTOM PARADE UPDATE!!!!

BABY CAME HOME!!!!!! unlike yuta & geto who snubbed me!!! shoko has yet to appear too!!!

[astonmartinii]

guess who? | yuki tsunoda social media au

pairing: fem yuki tsunoda x popstar!reader

wait, who is y/n's special guest?

Hello! Idk if you take in request for Yuki Tsunoda? But I'll give this a try! Pairing: Yuki Tsunoda x Popstar!YN (face claim could be sabrina or whoever you want!) Summary: yuki is caught attending yn's concert and then some of yn's fans mentioned that maybe yuki is the special guest yn has been hinting at. So, everyone on social media + the drivers are going crazy to see if YN and Yuki know each other. And then some eagle eyed YN+Yuki fans point out how one of YN's songs are about Yuki - @notesmadefromthedark

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

y/ncentral

liked by y/nstan, user1 and 12,964 others

tagged: yourusername

y/ncentral: y/n at her show in london last night. she mentioned that she had a special guest in attendance and some familiar faces in the crowd included f1 drivers pierre gasly, charles leclerc, daniel ricciardo, max verstappen and yuki tsunoda !! do you think it might be one of them?

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user2: can one of the f1 girls give us a quick run down on these men?

user3: quick fire. pierre - slag but has a gf. charles - homie hopper but has a gf. daniel - goofy. max - serious on track but goofy off track. yuki - lilttle cinnamon roll (do not listen to his radios)

user2: thank you for your service - who should i root for to be with y/n?

user4: if she's dating max at least she'd be dating a serial winner?

user5: but i feel like her and daniel would such a fun couple like?

user6: but yuki is a king and i honest to god hope it is him

user7: can this be fake news? my wife is at home with our kids?

user8: the way i know this trip was yuki's idea

user9: ???

user8: yuki mentioned in a marketing video a while back that he loves her music

user10: + pierre said the best thing about no longer being teammates with yuki is that he doesn't have to listen to him blast y/n's music

user11: + in a q&a he was asked who he'd most like to meet at a race and he said y/n or jason statham?

user12: the more i hear the more i want it to be yuki

user13: i need it to be yuki so that all the y/n fans can be yuki fans and we can become unstoppable

yourusername

liked by yukitsunoda0511, danielricciardo and 1,341,788 others

tagged: mysteryman

yourusername: london you were beautiful :)

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user14: WHO WHO WHO are they from 😭😭😭

user15: daniel 🤞

user16: yuki 🙏

yukitsunoda0511: wonderful show y/n :)))))))))

yourusername: thank you lovely, great to see you again x

yukitsunoda0511: safe travels !

user17: he's such a dork i love him

user18: i just stalked his page it needs to be him your honour

user19: AGAIN??? AGAIN??? WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS

danielricciardo: sick set y/n but i think being a superfan of you just comes with being an alpha tauri employee

yourusername: i didn't see you complaining buster

danielricciardo: obviously i have welcomed this period of enlightenment in my life

yukitsunoda0511: you said you enjoyed karaoke :(

danielricciardo: i did !! but i was under the impression that it would be more songs than just y/n ones

yukitsunoda0511: :(((((( i had fun :(

yourusername: i'm sure you have the voice of an angel

yukitsunoda0511: :) x

user20: i don't know what the hell is going on but if it's not yuki then i think he might get his heart broken

pierregasly: i think yuki saw god that night

yukitsunoda0511: and god is a woman :)

yourusername: 😊

user21: i've seen enough - Y/N PLEASE MARRY THIS MAN

liked by yukitsunoda0511

yukitsunoda0511

liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 603,498 others

tagged: yourusername

yukitsunoda0511: best concert ever ! thank you y/n :)

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user22: for my sanity i need them to be together

maxverstappen1: thanks mate. it was actually a group trip to london, glad to see we made it to the post

charles_leclerc: we're nothing to him compared to y/n

yourusername: as he should

pierregasly: what about his beloved friends who slaved away to get the tickets?

yourusername: 🤷‍♀️

yourusername: also i sent you those tickets ???

pierregasly: shush they don't need to know that

yukitsunoda0511: thank YOU for the tickets y/n, sorry i had to bring along these stray cats

maxverstappen1: ugh i'm literally a pedigree bengal but whatever 🤷‍♀️

yourusername: their little arguments are quietly endearing

yukitsunoda0511: as long as you liked me the most they can endear you all they want

yourusername: of course you're my fave yuki :)

charles_leclerc: 🙄

user23: very much enjoying y/n getting involved in all of these tussles between the grid

user24: okay but the real question here is when are we getting the y/n x xnda collab?

danielricciardo: do OUR sushi dates mean nothing?

pierregasly: you're only just realising that we're nothing to him

yukitsunoda0511: you guys are so dramatic

liamlawson30: i was the first victim of yuki. you think you're special to him and then BAM

yukitsunoda0511: they weren't sushi dates. we went as pals. of course i wouldn't post that

pierregasly: so it was a DATE? 🤨

user25: we need investigator gasly on this immediately

yukitsunoda0511: as if the baguette man could do anything

pierregasly: SACRE BLEU ?!

yourusername: 😭 😭 😭

pierregasly: you have changed yuki-san and GASP! y/n i expected better of you

yourusername: why are you typing your stage directions ???

pierregasly: i am EMOTIONAL

user26: yukierre found dead in their la mansion

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, pierregasly and 1,320,566 others

tagged: mysteryman

yourusername: a soft launch suitable for my soft boy

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user28: you might want to soft launch but we don't want to

user29: the suspense might just kill me

pierregasly: inchresting, very INTERESTING

yourusername: you got something to say buddy

pierregasly: maybe now i know where the little man gets all his sass

yourusername: or maybe you are just slayphobic

pierregasly: as if ! have you seen this hair, that is a serve. my gf told me so

yourusername: i have also seen your hairline

kikagomes: oop.

pierregasly: blocked.

user30: the way this little scuffle just proved the soft launch invalid cause it has to be yuki - only he would know the hairline blow

user31: golly gosh this is all very dramatic

user32: the way we know yuki was feeding her all these insults.

user33: i know that hairline comment cut deep

yukitsunoda0511: that sunset is almost as pretty as you

yourusername: you're so sweet yuki!

user34: f1 girly here - is this how y/n flirts or is she just being nice

user35: it is in my professional opinion that she is down bad

user36: plus they've clearly been together a while if y/n is able to playfully argue with his friends like this

charles_leclerc: as the intellectual on the grid, what is your current read?

yourusername: before the coffee gets cold - recommended by the REAL intellectual on the grid

maxverstappen1: INTELLECTUAL MY ASS

danielricciardo: stop trying to look good in front of the pop star we're all freaks

yukitsunoda0511: speak for yourself daniel

user37: not to be the real freak here but before the coffee gets cold is a japanese book so more evidence of mystery man being yuki !!

user38: do NOT threaten me with a good time

yukitsunoda0511

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,034,742 others

tagged: yourusername

yukitsunoda0511: i've been quiet too long, look at my girlfriend !!!!!!!!!!

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user39: wake up babe new mum and dad just dropped.

danielricciardo: worst kept secret of all time

yourusername: we've been together for over a year, dan.

danielricciardo: WHAT

yukitsunoda0511: aren't you proud of me daniel? i'm sorry i didn't tell you but you've got a big mouth both figuratively and literally

danielricciardo: i am SHOCKED. why did you just gag me so bad?

yourusername: you saw the show. i have sass. he has sass. together we are unstoppable

pierregasly: run daniel you saw how they came for my hairline

user40: wait it was so obvious it was yuki based on the london nonsense outro: my baby be screaming down the microphone, with me you don't have to watch your tone, i just want to come and sit on your throne

user41: the microphone? as in the radios? the iconic yuki radios?

user42: "with me you don't have to watch your tone" EAT MY MASS HELMUT MARKO

user42: wait NOT LIKE THAT

maxverstappen1: for all of our sakes please do not analyse the throne line

yourusername: it's a throne fit for a queen ❤️

yukitsunoda0511: hehehehehehee

maxverstappen1: SHUT THE FUCK UP

user43: living for yuki and y/n terrorising the grid

pierregasly: also don't think i didn't see you said OVER A YEAR - are you kidding me right now ???????????

yukitsunoda0511: nope.

pierregasly: i am HURT

yukitsunoda0511: why? you have an even bigger mouth than daniel, y/n and i just wanted privacy

pierregasly: i would NEVER

yourusername: you once commented on a public instagram about liking doggy

pierregasly: well..... when you put it like that....

yourusername: i love you yuki, thanks for the best year ever and for the best forever with you

yukitsunoda0511: i love you too, i can't wait to spend the rest of my life with my soulmate

yourusername: my muse ❤️

user44: i just got called single in like ten billion different languages :(

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, yukitsunoda0511 and 1,623,077 others

tagged: yukitsunoda0511

yourusername: f1 and all that jazz 👍

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user47: when two queens come together to maximise their joint slay

yukitsunoda0511: can you always be there when i get out of the car?

yourusername: i wish i could :(

yukitsunoda0511: not even if i say pretty please 🥺

yourusername: i don't think i can ever say no to you baby

user48: your favourite bite size couple

pierregasly: guys don't make fun of them they will try and bite your ankles

yourusername: you're literally 5'5

yukitsunoda0511: only real men can be short kings, you're a short peasant at most

pierregasly: actually y/n you're now banned from the paddock

yourusername: you're too busy watching out for your ankles when you should be watching your mirrors

pierregasly: are you threatening me?

yourusername: i have full faith in yuki, it's a promise

yukitsunoda0511: thanks babe x

user49: i love when a couple don't play about each other

user50: yuki has publicly been in love with y/n for years and landed his dream girl, he's standing on business

fernandoalo_oficial: yuki-san! you've done well, you and y/n are a wonderful couple

pierregasly: so they weren't mean to you?

yourusername: we respect our elders

yukitsunoda0511: and we love fernando!

fernandoalo_oficial: wait. i'm not old

yourusername: we meant wise!

yukitsunoda0511: no we didn't old man

user51: yuki was patient zero of the sassy man apocalypse

yukitsunoda0511

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 802,884 others

tagged: yourusername

yukitsunoda0511: couldn't be happier, oh p5 was pretty good as well

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user52: i love how he got alpha tauri's best points finish of the year so far but he's like no my hot gf is more important

user53: he is what all men should aspire to be

yourusername: couldn't be prouder, racer boy x

yukitsunoda0511: had to put on my best performance for my love

yourusername: i'd be proud no matter what baby

yukitsunoda0511: do i still get a reward?

yourusername: about to inspire a whole new nonsense outro

charles_leclerc: okaY THAT'S ENOUGH

user54: the way yuki was practically bouncing off the walls in the post race interviews

user55: his smile was impressively wide when he was asked about any extra motivation this weekend

landonorris: yuki-san when were you going to introduce me to y/n? i'm the only one who willingly did nonsense karaoke with you - i sang about your dick with you? does that mean nothing?

yukitsunoda0511: lando !!! we love you and your willingness to sing about my dick

yourusername: what he means is that i'm doing an acoustic session and would love to invite you. he got cornered by max after the race and has had far too many gin and tonics

landonorris: omg count me in, yuki i love you and i love your girlfriend

yukitsunoda0511: NOT MORE THAN ME

landonorris: no buddy, i'll let you have that one

yukitsunoda0511: I LOVE Y/N THE MOST EVER IN THE WORLD

yourusername: love you too baby @maxverstappen1 no more g&ts

maxverstappen1: whoops 😬

user56: drunk yuki you have my heart

user57: i will do anything for an invite to the acoustic session I DESERVE IT

danielricciardo: can you two stop being so cute, you're making me look bad

yourusername: no can do, i wanna treat my man the way he should

yukitsunoda0511: i was put on this earth to worship y/n 👍

yourusername: * and slaying in f1

yukitsunoda0511: and slaying in f1

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, yukitsunoda0511 and 1,409,387 others

tagged: yukitsunoda0511

yourusername: the boy who made me a certified sap :)

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user61: so like can we start counting down to the new album yet

user62: ready for a full album with the energy of nonsense

yukitsunoda0511: not the jacket picture

yourusername: but it's so cute, you playing rugby does something to me

yukitsunoda0511: the guys said i was pretty good

yourusername: no no no just for my eyes your face is too handsome to get mashed up

yukitsunoda0511: why thank you, but no one will ever be as beautiful as you

user63: yes they are mother and father, but they also need to shut the fuck up i am too lonely to read this stuff without being institutionalised

user64: so real of you

alexalbon: faves. but also. i can't believe i'm so good at photography that i made yuki look TALL

yukitsunoda0511: it's not how tall you are but how you are tall

yourusername: exactly

alexalbon: what the fuck is that supposed to mean

yourusername: some people are tall and act like they're short whereas some people are short but have taller energy

alexalbon: is this just a riddle about how big yuki's dick is

yourusername: you said it not me. i wasn't lying when i said i sit on a throne

yukitsunoda0511: hehehehe

alexalbon: i started off being nice today. but you people have pushed me too far it's already bad enough that whenever lily blasts your album that i know it's about yuki

yourusername: sounds like a you problem

user65: y/n really out here like oh you think yuki is JUST a cutie pie ?

fin.

note: thanks for reading, i hope you enjoyed and this is what you were looking for. yuki is so underrated and that rugby video did actually change my life. also if you didn't see, i'm starting a small business for my dumb f1 art - if you want to follow it's @badlydrawnf1cats on instagram xx

[robo-milky]

Lolol so… how low do you think he’d have to sink to reach Cloche and Grim? I’d imagine he’d be on his damn knees-

[Notes]

- So I’m thinking… Cloche probably found Skully cute UNTIL after finding out he’s 16- Now he’s cringe (if him talking down on his schoolmates wasn’t enough)

- A bit more far fetched but I think it’d be interesting if they both grew to dislike/feel iffy with each other over time?? No idea if Skully was ever bullied or not (only mentioned to be alone), but he sure as hell reminded Cloche of an old classmate/childhood friend she indirectly bullied- With him seeming to lack social awareness, Cloche almost wants to say it was his fault and he deserved it if somehow he’s outcasted by everyone in his school- 💀 (I don’t endorse this, it’s Cloche’ character flaw)

- At the same time, it’s also funny if Skully mistakes Cloche’ curse of calling everyone Master/sama as her having admiration for Jack and Sally 😭

- Maybe Skully can be the agent to bring Cloche and Epel closer- Cloche using Epel as a human shield to avoid all contact with Skully

- Skully is super duper uber cute but I like him the same way I like Epel/Rollo- I just think it’d be entertaining to see if he’d snap and push him to his limits of misery- Maybe he’ll keep on being the whimsical cinnamon roll we’re seeing so far, maybe he can give us a good scare like Jack did with the trick or treaters-

[poppyflower-22]

~Love Has No Boundaries~

Summary: Layla is Max’s sister, Lando and her have been dating for 3 years. He was the one that helped her after her ex dumped her for someone else and left her to raise her kid by herself. Now he’s back and wants it all.

But no one is going to let that happen. Not her friends, not her fans. Especially Lando.

Side note: Layla is an OC. Matty is her son who is four. Pedri is aged up to 24 for this. I was going to use someone different, but I only know stuff about him only. And I don't why the twitter thing is not he greatest.

Face claim is Sabrina Carpenter.

Masterlist

Layla Verstappen

Liked by LandoNorris, MaxVerstappen and 2,456,582 others.

LaylaVerstappen: My new song 'Cinnamon Roll' is out now! This has been one of my favorite songs to write. Enjoy the song and the amazing video featuring my Lan and our son. 💘🦋

Tagged: LandoNorris

View 514,568 comments.

User: OMG!!! 🗣️ THIS is THE SONG OF THE CENTURY RIGHT NOW!! 🗣️

User: No, I watched the video for this song and its so cute. Lando and Matty together are everything. 😭

↪️User: Omg yes. You could see that Lando really loves being Matty's dad.

LandoNorris: I love you so much my love. 😘😘

↪️LaylaVerstappen: No, I love you. Thank you. 💘

↪️LandoNorris: No thanks needed to be given to the love of my life and our beautiful son. 🛐

↪️User: No! Stop this is so cute. 'Our son.' 🥺🥺

MaxVerstappen: Love the song sis. 🎤

Liked by, LaylaVerstappen

User: I will never recover from this. This song and video will forever be stitched in my brain. I love Layla and Lando.

↪️DanielRiccardo: Same. 🥺

CharlesLeclerc: Okay I admit that's cute. 🙌

Liked by, LaylaVerstappen

PedriGonzalez: Good song.

↪️OscarPiastri: No. 🙅‍♂️

↪️MaxVerstappen: Go away. 🚮

↪️User: Oscar and Max. 🤭Also, Pedri? NO. YOU CAN BACK AWAY!! 🤺🤺

User: Why is he likening and commenting on her stuff now after what he did?

Tweets.

Tweets about her song.

Tweets.

Texts:

Lando Norris

Liked by, LaylaVerstappen, MaxFewtrell and 1,154,698 others.

LandoNorris: My family. 🧡🦋☀️

Tagged; LaylaVeratappen.

View 568,112 comments.

User: YES. 🙌

User: The first photo. 😭 I’m going to cry from cuteness. 🥹

LaylaVerstappen: We love you so very much my love. 😘

↪️ LandoNorris: Not as much as me. 🥰

MaxVerstappen: The only man for my sister.

↪️ User: Oh the shad. 🤭

CharlesLeclerc: Leo wants to have a sleepover again. He misses Matty and Layla. 😞

↪️ LandoNorris: Your dog is stealing my wife and son. 😐

↪️ User: Oh already saying wife.

User: No why is this slightly possessive but in the most subtly way.

OscarPiastr: 🧡

Liked by LaylaVerstappen and LandoNorris

Load more commands….

So, you guys want a part 2?

[luvleyaru]

Some interesting things I'm gonna manifest~

- a waiting room, exactly my type and desired, I'm gonna relax there hhehahah

- being a lie detector (yes, no one can lie to me now bahahhahaha)

- extremely powerful intuition and psychic gifts I guess

- being able to talk to ALL animals and ALL animals to love and protect me heh

- having "boy" glasses. Basically, if I wear these glasses I'll look like a guy, and no one will be able to suspect me of being a girl ahhahaha (just for fun)

- embodying the vibes of "looks like a cinnamon roll but can kill you" lmao

- having insane luck and everything always going my way

- extremely fast reflexes and reaction time

- being super persuasive, godly social and leadership skills etc

- brutal manga's new chapters 😭😭😭😭

- having a mysterious and supernatural library with ALOT of books... Who knows what those books contain?

- a mysterious and supernatural forest nearby

- time to go slowly (like wtf we are ALREADY halfway thru 2024 is crazy)

- a supernatural necklace with superpowers

- having healing powers, basically if I touch someone with my hands or pray for them, they'll instantly get well

- being able to resolve ANY problem easily

- I can see + breath underwater

- having "Doraemon's pocket" but in a cuter version and with instructions (hahahahha)

- HYPNOTIZING eyes that can make anyone do what I want

- if I clap my hands 3 times (or visualize it) I'll become literally unstoppable and invincible, superhuman intelligence, stamina, power etc (my superpower heehee)

- jack of all trades. Excelling at everything I do effortlessly

- getting EXTREMELY viral for my beauty/being cool or badass af/ a main character moment etc

And many more things, this is just a small list lmao

[phasecornnuts]

Hiiiiiiii! If you’re still open for requests maybe you might wanna write something where the reader casually mentioned that they/she had a partner on earth before they died and Alastor takes it a bit too drastically and has just been very salty and asking too many questions 😭 if you like that

Please & thanks ❤️

Hey guys I've returned! Sorry for taking a little while, I was busy with finals/I wanted to relax on my spring break so I didn't have a lot of time. I lowkey kind of cooked with this one too so enjoy :3

Also, I sorta made the reader be from around the same time period as Alastor (sorta late 1910s early 1930s) for extra spice

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had become a daily routine for you and Alastor to have afternoon tea together in cannibal town. Always, between the hours and four and six o’ clock after Alastor had finished his broadcast and you, your hotel duties, the both of you would walk down to Rosie’s Emporium to nibble on finger sandwiches, candied eyeballs, and other treats. 

The sun was still high in the sky, sending fingers of light through the windows of the cafe; the building was alive with the chatter of demons and hell-born alike. You and Alastor had just sat down, a short cannibal girl with a heart-shaped face and glowing brown ringlets placing your usuals on the table. Oh how beautiful they were! Too pretty to eat, garnished with tiny sprigs of mint (or, at least, it may have been mint) and resting on plates of delicate porcelain. With polished silver beside them, and matching teacups and saucers too, it all looked like a party for a girl’s favorite doll.

That is, if it weren’t human meat. 

Looking up from your plate, you saw Alastor turn his head to follow the cannibal girl making you frown. His gaze returned to you before he caught you staring, a chipper grin on his face as always.

“She could be a dead ringer for Mary Pickford, don’t you think?”

Your eyebrows perked. You hadn’t looked long at the girl admittedly, though you stared long enough to know that she was no Pickford. You pursed your lips,

“I don’t see it, Lillian Gish maybe.”

He looked at you like a mad-woman, “You don’t!?”

“No! Her eyes are much too large!”

Alastor chuffed, proceeding to rest his chin on his dark hand, “In the eye of the beholder I suppose.” 

You rolled your eyes, “You only say that because of her curls,” you stated while picking up the teapot and pouring yourself and Alastor your cups, “Now, drink before it gets cold.”

For much of your lunch neither of you spoke, merely enjoying each other’s presence while pecking on some food here and there. Throughout the meal the waitress brought more plates, pancreas tarts, minced tongues coated with cinnamon sugar, and sweet pies filled with rotted venison and cooked kidneys, all Rosie’s treat. Alastor had been taken by the small pies in their mulled deliciousness, the meat so tender you saw his eyes water. He pleaded you to try one, though you couldn’t, your stomach filled to the brim from the other treats and delicacies. 

Alastor picked up the small pair of silver tongs from beside him and placed two sugar cubes in his tea, “I do say, it’s nice to have a meal companion again.” He took a sip from his teacup and grinned. 

You nodded in agreement, lifting the milk jug from the table and pouring a generous amount into your cup. “Likewise. Good dinner conversation is a horrid thing to lose.”

“Truly.” He took another drink. “Before you, I hadn’t had a proper luncheon since my mother.”

“From what you tell she sounded like a fine woman.” His grin lost its eeriness, becoming fond instead. 

“She truly was, and such a fine cook too.” Alastor gazed at the fine pattern painted on the rim of his saucer, “her jambalaya was the best, our side of the Mississippi” he chuckled. He began to remember then, “And her gumbo and her crawfish etouffee and her pecan pralines”

It was odd to hear his voice so full of affection, but nice too. So strange, to think a man who broadcasted his murders of other overlords and feasted on their flesh was once a little boy who clung to his mothers skirt and happily ate her cooking. 

“Maybe one day you’ll cook for me then?” you teased

“Oh why wouldn’t I for my favoritest of sinners?” He took your hand.

You leaned in towards him, a silent flirtation. “Or perhaps I could prepare something for you?”

He looked at you from his dark, hooded eyes, a certain intrigue radiating from them. “Would you now?” he said, leaning in closer. 

“Oh I would, anything you’d like.” the tip of your oxford lingering at his ankle. “My food was good enough for my darling back on earth, why would an overlord of hell have any complaints? Other than not enough seasoning I suppose.” 

That was when the laughter in his eyes died. Alastor bit the inside of his cheek before finding the words to speak, “Your darling?”

 “Pardon?”

“You had someone,” He straightened up, pulling himself away from you, “back on earth?”

“I hardly see how it matters now.” 

Alastor’s tone grew curt, had such a simple word bruised his ego? 

He crossed his arms, “What were they like?” each word as sharp as his teeth.

You pulled your hands close to you, confused at his curtness, “They were….they were nice. Cordial, spirited, vivacious, however you would put it. If you’re-” Alastor cut you off. 

“How did you meet them?”

“On the trolley.” That only served to make him scoff.

“Tch, how common. The trolley.”

You chewed your bottom lip, trying to deny the anger towards him that began to knot in your belly. “It was a different lifetime.” You asserted, a hard finality to it. Pushing yourself from the small table you smoothed your skirt and adjusted the ribbon that was tied so nicely in your hair. 

Without looking at him you said, “Tell Rosie I’m grateful for her hospitality and I will try to find a way to repay her. Also that I’m sorry that I had to retire without saying hello but I feel rather…faint.” Before leaving completely you said, “See you back at the hotel.”

The rest of the day you hid in your room, sulking and pacing. Charlie had tried to coax you out, seeing how angry you’d been when you came back, but you denied every effort she had. 

“It’s not good to stay cooped up in there,” the Princess pleaded.

“I like my alone time.”

 “But- but I had games planned! Husk was going to show us how to play Blackjack and Dominoes!”

“I prefer bridge, and he’ll just cheat us anyways.”

She gave a disappointed sigh, and outside the door you could hear Vaggie talking to her, telling Charlie to give you your space. 

For three nights straight you avoided Alastor, finishing up your hotel duties quickly before hiding in your room. You grew bored after the first day admittedly, a person could only sleep and bathe and read so much. The fourth night is when he knocked on your door while you lied draped on your couch, your nose in a book you’d already finished before. Thinking it was Charlie, you ignored it, sure she’d get the message. It insisted however, rapping harder the second time. You sighed, annoyed. “Who is it?”

“Alastor, may I come in?”

A sour taste came in your mouth, “No.”

“You cannot lock yourself away from me forever.” 

You lifted yourself off the couch, full of bitterness, “I can and I will!”

An electric hum filled your ears, the sound of Alastor weighing his words, “Could you at least entertain my attempt?”

Walking to the door and opening it slightly you saw his face, those deep, hooded eyes dark as blood, cracked lips, and hollow cheekbones. All of those beautiful, haunting features draped in remorse. You sighed, cursing the affection you had for him. 

“Fine, but I’m still cross with you.” That made him smile, if only a tad. 

Opening the door fully, you saw he’d brought one of the dining carts from the unused kitchen clad in a clean white sheet. Alastor pushed it to the center of the room before spiritedly ripping the cover from the cart, presenting polished silver dishes of raw meat and organs. From the bottom shelf of it, he had pulled a fine bottle of wine and two shining glasses.

“I helped myself to a bottle of Husk’s finest, the patrons here don’t have as refined tastes as you and I.” He gave a small grin. So this is what he brought with him, a peace offering. Your stomach was empty from only eating a small meal earlier in the day, so perhaps it was not in vain, though you weren’t sure if you were ready to forgive him. 

“I’ll help you set the table,” you offered, feeling guilty he put so much effort into pleasing you. 

Alastor held his hands up, “No need darling.” He put his hand on his throat, “What I said the other day was very…” he coughed into his hand, “ungentlemanly of me, and I wanted to make it up to you.” 

You folded your hands and held them to your chest, looking at the embarrassment he tried to hide. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath, and raised your gaze to his. “Thank you, Alastor.” His grin widened as he sat down beside you. 

He uncorked the bottle of wine, beginning to pour it into the glasses, “Of course.” He handed you the glass which you took gladly. The vintage was so dark it looked black, reflecting the lights that glowed from the ceiling. Swishing it, you could see the hidden shades of red that the wine hid.

“Demon’s blood, Husk calls it.” Alastor told you before he took a long sip. 

“Fitting. Do you know how long he’s aged it?” Alastor shrugged, taking another swallow. 

“I didn’t care to ask, but it tastes so good going down. Come, drink, I didn’t bring this up so I could get drunk by myself.” That made you giggle, how much he valued the both of you eating and drinking together. 

Taking his lead, you titled your head back, savoring the warm burn of the wine going down. Its hot fingers lingered in your chest before fading, like drinking cold medicine. In three large gulps you finished your glass, noticing the way Alastor’s eyes watched your throat as you drank. After finishing your second glass you began to dig into the food he’d brought, pancreas tarts, cooked kidneys and…oh good god! On the largest plate was a raw heart, fresh and bloody. 

“Where did you get this? You shouldn’t have!” Your eyes went wide and your mouth began to salivate. A raw heart! Oh and it was human too! Such a fine delicacy must have taken so much begging from Alastor!

“Rosie owed me a favor. And I owe it to you, for making such a jackass of myself.” 

You took another sip of your wine, feeling your face begin to flush. You helped yourself to a tart while Alastor poured himself another glass. As you ate you felt his eyes on you again, focusing on the way your teeth bit into the pastry, your swan’s neck showing your swallow, and how your tongue dragged across your lips. Feeling bold, you placed your feet in his lap and wiped the corner of your mouth with your finger, licking the tip of it with your tongue. He swallowed, hard, his eyes growing wide. 

“Are you looking at something?” Your voice a heavy seduction.

“Possibly.” He drank again. Leaning back on the arm of the couch, he placed his glass on the floor. The tips of his fingers grazed your legs, “Though I do have another question for you, if I may.”

A sultry smirk grew on your face, “That depends on what it is, Al.” God, you could see the glint in his eyes then.

Alastor looked up at you from his hooded eyes, “I’ve been wondering…about your “darling.” You arched an eyebrow; your interest piqued. “Did they ever have…you?” His breath shuddered. 

“Have me, how?” You teased.

“Oh humor me my dear,” He purred

You smirked and shifted your legs in his lap. “Hmm, maybe once or twice…” You sit up from your recline and crawl onto his lap.

“What sorts of things did they do to you?” 

Running your fingers down his chest you savored the way he squirmed and shifted, “All sorts of unholy things” 

Alastor choked on his breath, his eyes transfixed on your face. Slowly, he caught it, regaining a certain boldness afterwards. His hand found the top of your stocking, fingering the nylon taut to your thighs. “Getting rather comfortable aren’t we my dear?”

The smirk you had deepened and you pulled in closer, feeling the heat of his breath tickle your cheeks. You looked into his eyes, “I could get much more comfortable if you like, Al.” For what seemed like ages you lingered, until you felt you had tortured the man enough. Slowly, you leaned in, seemingly ready to kiss his shiny red lips. Grinning, you pulled a piece of dry skin from his bottom lip between your teeth, peeling it to show the bleeding flesh beneath. 

You sat back on his lap and spat out the skin. Looking at him, you saw that hunger in his eyes again. That fine line of decorum the two of you had with one another, ignoring the lingering gazes and longing touches, all thrown away with one bite. Underneath, you could feel his arousal beginning to grow hard. You rolled your hips slightly into him, earning a throaty groan from Alastor. From the silver dining cart you pulled the piece de resistance, that raw bleeding heart, and sunk your teeth into it, tasting the sweet flavor of iron. Trails of blood dripped from your mouth onto your decolletage, slowly turning brown and flaky.

Alastor’s breath heaved, growing even harder from that sultry cannibalistic display. He pulled you towards him and pressed your mouth to his, saccharine saliva mixing with sanguine. His tongue slid and twisted about yours, savoring every inch of its taste. You pulled away from him to catch your breath, making him whine. Leaning in again, he dragged his tongue along your neck, cleaning up the drying strings of blood. 

Both of you straightened up then, him holding you proper now. One hand ran its fingers through his shiny red hair and the other cupped his aching sex, so taut against his trousers. 

“Is that what you were so upset about Al? If they fucked me or not?” You purred into his ear.

The tips of your fingers fluttered over his hip, tracing its edge before returning to his cock. “I bet you wondered if I did this to them, didn’t you?” A small nip was placed on his neck, leaving a red half-moon. Your breath grew hot against his cheek as you whispered into his ear again, 

“Maybe I did, and maybe I did so many more dirty things to them.” 

Alastor enraptured your mouth in another needy kiss. His words heavy with radio static, “What sort of things my dear? Or are you all talk?” Your grin widened seeing the shock in his eyes when you began to unbutton his overcoat.

“Let me show you.”

Four little words was all it took to send him over the edge. Picking you up, his hands traced over all the parts of your succulent body. When he flopped you on the bed, hair as tousled as a pin-up, you reached out a stockinged leg to him, that devious look on your face growing. Oh how badly he wanted to have you, hastily unzipping your dress as you stripped him down to his undershirt and trousers. Deft fingers hooked around the tops of your stockings, pulling them down as fast as they could. You dropped his trousers and took off his shirt, admiring all of that soft, gray skin.

You pressed your mouth to the flesh of his stomach, blessing it with small love-bites that made him shudder. All along his torso you left red patches and traced your cool fingertips along the hard edges where his ribs poked out. You tilted your head up and moved his hands to the straps of your brasserie, exposing all of your hot, yearning flesh. He cupped a breast and lied on top of you. Grinding his sex to yours he moaned into your mouth. It had been so…so long since you’d been wanted, since someone pressed their body to yours and you felt all of their heat as they slid into you, over and over again. 

“Al,” You breathed

“What is it?”

“Get on your back.” 

And so he did. 

Alastor’s back against the mattress and your palms against his chest, you let him enter you. He let out a string of curses when you did, and even more when you started moving in those easy rolling motions. Those large hands of his held the curve of your waist as you rode him, his eyes half-lidded as he watched your breasts bounce. 

“The first time I saw you…” You began, going a little faster, “I wanted you,” You heard a small thud as he dropped his head against the pillows.

“I thought about you kissing me and touching me all over” That’s when the pulses of pleasure started to build up, prickling you in sweet needles that went all the way up your spine.

“And about you sticking your fingers in me and..and your tongue too” You felt your face heat up and your sex grow slicker, admitting those indecent thoughts you only entertained during late nights when your fingers wandered. Alastor gripped your waist tighter, making your rhythm harsher. You looked down on him, his eyes glazed over with euphoria, and felt your mouth pool with saliva.

Digging your nails into the skin of his chest you kept on. “For a whole week I couldn’t keep from slipping my hands between my legs.” Your voice, thick and hoarse. “I wanted to know what you tasted like, if-if your mouth tasted like blood,” that was when he quickened the pace even more. Your sex was so hot and wet, all the way at the base of your spine you could feel your orgasm coming to you, a full-body shiver that made your eyes well with tears. 

The last part was what sent him over the edge though. 

“Sometimes, I’d bite myself so I could taste the blood when I’d touch-” was all it took to make him come. 

Fuck it felt good too. A weak falsetto escaped your mouth when he released, so warm and filling. That’s what made you reach your end too. You clawed your nails in his skin so deep there were two broken half-moons on his chest. Your thighs clenched against his torso, quivering, as you could feel your body become as light and floaty as chiffon. 

Alastor let the both of you ride it out, that sweet joyous bliss. When your mind returned from the heaven it was sent to, you leaned over, resting on top of him. He moved you gently, pressing you closely to his chest. For a while, neither of you spoke, the air lingering with the smell of sweat and blood and sex. You ran your fingers through his hair again; He kissed the back of your hand before speaking. 

“If I’d known all that would come out of making you angry at me, I would’ve earned your ire a long while ago.” You rolled your eyes, flicking his chest playfully. 

“Perhaps we could do this again, without the arguing?” You propose, “You’re quite good at it.” 

A smile stretched across his face as he played with a lock of hair that rested near your face, “Expect nothing less from an overlord of hell cher.” One of his hands slid to your lower back, tracing small circles on that creamy flesh. 

“How about we try one more time without the arguing, for good measure?”

You smirked and kissed him again. All for good measure.

[vicompte-de-latarteaucoing]

L I D E N !! ksbdksbskdnssodjfnosjsbs🥹🥹

Liden, my dear...

Olrik should get used to it.

[hornyhornyhimbos]

"One Of Me Is Cute... But Two Though?" ~ L. Alvez

Summary: When Reader spots her pregnant friend at a Halloween party, the wheels start to turn in her head. If Luke really loves her, won't he love having a second Reader even more?

Pairing: Luke Alvez x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1,664

Content Warning: MINORS DNI (18+ content) unprotected piv sex, couch activities, breeding kink, Luke is kind of a mean!dom oops, nicknames (baby, brat; Luke is called daddy once), sorta implied drinking since they take an Uber home but not really, explicit language, lowk this fic was kinda rushed sorry, fic title is of course from "Juno" by Sabrina Carpenter, lmk if i missed anything!

Extra Notes: so sorry this was not posted on time 😭 hope you guys still enjoy though!

Originally Written: 10/25/2024 through 10/27/2024

criminal minds masterlist can be found here!

halloweek masterlist can be found here!

Ever since you'd gotten in the Uber, you'd been sulking. You refused to even look at Luke, your hands staying planted in your lap instead of reaching over to hold his like they normally would. It wasn't his fault—really, no one was at fault—but you couldn't seem to help your pouty nature.

Every so often, Luke would meet you with a pout of his own, his eyes sad as he tried to figure out what exactly was the matter with you. “Baby, please talk to me,” he'd say every few minutes, and every time, you just kept on silently moping.

As you walked into your shared home, his hands landed on your hips. A soft pair of lips peppered kisses along your exposed shoulder, Luke’s silent way of trying to get you to talk to him.

Still, you weren't giving in that easily. You simply let out an annoyed huff, moving away from him and sitting down on the couch.

Hot on your trail, Luke followed, squatting in front of you and reaching to undo your strappy heels. “Okay, you gotta tell me what's going on,” he said, clearly put out despite his calm tone. “I can't fix the problem if you don't tell me what's going on.”

“Doesn't matter if I tell you,” you grumbled, nearly under your breath. “You won't fix the problem anyway.”

His eyebrows raised, his expression somewhere between serious and shocked as he registered what you'd just said. “You wanna try that again?”

A tingle shot to your core as his dominant side started to show. You couldn't deny how much it turned you on when he was mad, so you decided to press a little more. “You heard me,” you said, lips still turned downward in a bratty pout.

Luke stood back up to his full height, practically towering over you as he placed his hands on his hips. Despite his dorky mailman costume, he managed to look sexy in those mid-thigh shorts and navy baseball cap. “I know what I heard,” he said, his words still sounding calm even though his expression told a different story. “I'm giving you a chance to fix it before you earn yourself a little punishment.”

The word punishment sent heat straight through you. You frowned again, not saying anything else on the current topic as you crossed your arms over your chest.

Luke huffed, his anger finally starting to show just a little. “Do I need to fuck a confession out of you?”

Despite how tempting that was, you finally gave in, figuring you should at least try to have a civil conversation about what was bothering you. “I want a baby.”

Luke's mouth dropped open in shock, his eyes widening a little. He didn't say anything, waiting for you to continue.

“Didn't Hannah look so cute in her costume tonight?” you asked with pleading eyes. “Don't you want that to be us next Halloween?”

Some might have found your college roommate's costume a little silly. She'd somehow turned an old cardboard box into an oven and painted a cinnamon roll over her six-month pregnant belly, effectively turning her stomach into “a bun in the oven.” Hannah's husband had his oven mitt-covered hands on her the whole night, proclaiming he was the proudest baker that had ever existed.

However, something about your friend (and her slightly possessive husband) made your baby fever kick in. The thought of Luke knocking you up, the thought of him being absolutely primal with you, sent your head spiraling.

The sound of Luke's deepening voice brought you out of your thoughts and back to reality. “So you thought the best course of action would be to act like a brat until I gave you your way?”

You couldn't help the slight blush that crept its way onto your cheeks. You stayed silent, knowing whatever you said next would probably get you in worse trouble.

He knelt in front of you again, his hands slipping under your dress, fingertips dancing along the expanse of your thighs. “You know, you really don't deserve anything tonight. Acting like I've never taught you any manners.”

With a smirk, you replied, “Maybe you should teach me again.”

Luke’s lips turned upward into a smirk of his own, dragging a finger slowly over your covered core. “You really are a little brat,” he scoffed. Still, his hands slid your dress upward until your thighs were uncovered, revealing the wet spot starting to form on your cherry red panties. “I rest my case,” he said with an eye roll.

“Come on,” you said, puckering your lips outward and giving him puppy eyes. “Can't you give in just a little?”

A low chuckle rumbled through him as he grabbed your legs and pulled you forward. “C'mere, my sexy little love letter.”

Teeth grazed your thigh as his hand pulled at the waistband of your underwear, sliding them off agonizingly slowly. In an instant, his mouth was on your core, attacking you with kitten licks and dirty kisses.

Your legs instinctively tightened around his head, practically holding his face to your center. Though your hands were practically shaking at the pleasure he was already providing you with, you managed to turn his cap around backwards. Instantly, he was diving even further into your center, groaning at the easier access.

A finger replaced his tongue, slipping inside of you and curving exactly the way you needed. You couldn't help the moan that fell from your lips as his mouth joined back in, desperately tonguing at your sensitive bud. “You feel so fucking good,” he groaned as a second finger joined in, the words a low rumble against your center.

“Luke,” you sighed, his tongue leaving precise licks along your clit. Despite how good his ministrations felt, it simply wasn't enough for you. “You're never gonna get me knocked up if you don't fuck me.”

He scoffed, the hot air of his breath heavenly against your cunt. His fingers stayed inside you despite his mouth leaving your clit, his eyebrows raised as he met your gaze. “You're being a greedy brat right now.”

You started to reply, but the words were cut off as he flexed the digits inside you again, fingertips brushing over that perfect spot it seemed only he could reach. Your hands grasped at the couch cushions, trying to steady yourself in any way you could.

“You want me to knock you up?” Luke asked, his voice practically a growl. He tore his hands away from you, leaving you feeling absolutely empty as he worked on the fastening of his shorts. As he realized your eyes were fully focused on his hard-on, he demanded, “Answer when you're spoken to.”

“Yes,” you managed, nearly salivating as he pulled his cock out of those tiny khaki shorts.

He chuckled, the sound making your pussy ache more, if it was even possible. “Be careful what you wish for, baby.”

Without warning, he was shoving his length into you, giving you no time to adjust. His movements were quick, hips snapping into yours greedily. This was about him now, about teaching you a lesson and getting his own way.

“You want a baby?” he asked rhetorically, cock slamming into you as he practically held you down to the couch. “Fine. I'll give you a baby.”

Pleased whines slipped between your lips as he practically bullied your cunt. Every ridge and vein slid in and out of you, the friction absolutely delicious and exactly what you needed.

One of his hands met your center again, rubbing fast circles over your bundle of nerves, his eyes still on you to see your reaction to the pleasure. “Gotta cum first if you want me to fill you up,” he instructed, toying with your clit a little harder. “Gotta earn it.”

His filthy words and commands had you keening, your back arching off the sofa. You couldn't form words at this point, only noises that showed him how desperate you truly were. The sound of your bodies moving against each other filled the air, the scent of sex heavy in the air as skin slapped against skin.

You were close, so close to your release. The coil in your stomach burned as you inched closer to your climax, hands meeting Luke's hips and pulling him impossibly closer. “Please, Daddy. Make me cum,” you begged, your head falling back against the couch.

Luke only sped up at that, his dick hitting your sweet spot over and over. His eyes closed in pleasure, and you could tell from his expression that he was close too. He pulled your pelvis closer to his, his movements shoving you further into the couch. Hips grinded against hips, perfectly in time with the circles he continued to place on your clit.

The new angle was just what you needed to fall over the edge, your orgasm burning through you. Your veins were practically on fire as he fucked you through it, now searching for his own release.

The tiny noises of pleasure coming from you as he fucked you into overstimulation was what he needed to reach his own release. Hot spurts of his seed filled what felt like every inch of you as he finally started to slow his movements.

After a moment of you both catching your breath, Luke lifted you by the waist, holding your body close to his as he headed for the bedroom.

“What are you doing?” you managed to ask, the sound close to a confused giggle, before kissing at the small sliver of his neck you had access to.

With a smirk, he answered, “Gotta make sure it sticks, right? You want a baby or not?”

Your head fell back in a laugh, though you couldn't argue. You were both in for a long night, but you couldn't seem to bring yourself to care. You just kept on kissing his neck as he laid you down on the mattress.

-> taglist: @reidsbookclub @dungeons-are-too-cold @ptrckjcne @longlivejemily @staley83

-> icon in collage by @lilacprentiss

-> dividers and support banner by @saradika-graphics

-> bun in oven costume idea by @dungeons-are-too-cold bc we are both lil freaks

[koiiiji]

i got this idea really randomly, pls don’t hate me😭

Goo have a tendency to choose absolute garbage as his secret friends, but this doesn’t apply to you. you seemed absolute cinnamon roll when Goo Kim brought all of you together and nobody understood why you even were in this company.

on the other hand, you didn't understand Goo, what kind of animals he just collected. in your honest, and absolute right opinion Samuel was totally uncontrollable with his anger and easily lost his temper, Taejin too flattering, when it came to his boss, it seemed like that too sweet-bitter candy, and Taesung… well, Taesung was only good for carrying your huge shopping bags. what actually is happening right now. one of your conditions for working with Goo and his zoo was that you could use his card and gritting his teeth, Goo had to agree if he wanted to have a wide variety of information. not like you didn’t have your own money, it was just funny to look at man who loves money more then anything else on this planet, giving you a full access to his account.

what was the reason for choosing your companion today? it's simple, you didn't want other girls, and in principle, guys, to cling to handsome guys like Sammy and Taejin, distracting them from very important things - obediently following after you, dragging with your purchases. and Taesung was huge and intimidating enough to scare away all the queues in front of you. but as it turned out, he is not the most silent and obedient. in another store, he again hissed threateningly at you with claims, "you fucking vixen, i didn't hire myself as your errand boy, or we're coming back right now, or-" "or you shut your mouth right now and don't bother me, or Goo will have to be very upset by the fact that i'm no longer secret friends with him." you stopped sorting through the hangers and fixed a bored gaze on Taesung. you knew perfectly well that he didn't have the courage to argue with Goo, and so you calmly used it against him. leaving the store, Taesung had no choice, but to follow you, because it was somehow unwilling to listen to Goo's nonsense. on the other hand, he thought to himself, paying attention to the view in front of him, he had a great opportunity to stare at your ass, he had to admit that your figure is appetizing.

stopping in front of the next store, Taesung roared in protest, "are you fucking crazy, woman? i will not go into this place," he pointed to a neat sign that read "agent provocateur" with a mischievous grin, you reminded him of the agreement with his boss and amid shouts of protest you dragged him into a real hell on earth for any man.

[ladybracknellssherry]

Good Omens Deep Dive Ahead! **I have edited and added to this several times now, but "ma point" has stayed the same. Probably every single reblog has a different version of this. It has turned into an absolute BEAST. You might be able to watch both seasons faster than read this at this point 😂😭

---------------------- Okay so I am rewatching S2 right now and golly. I've just noticed something. I'm sure it has already been noticed by plenty of other people so feel free to let me know, link me to some metas, please.

A lot of us have painstakingly analyzed every single frame, statue, clock tick, facial expression, and breath of the final 15. Good. Now we're going to look at the scene in S2E4/The Hitchhiker/1941 when Aziraphale and Crowley are in the bookshop doing their little pre-magic show warm-up roleplay foreplay bit. They're being surveilled by a bunch of half-witted nazi zombie spies. Aziraphale is trying to impress Crowley with his * m a g i c * Crowley is trying really hard to support his Angel.

The Blocking!

Keep in mind the camera angles are not quite the same between these scenes, the dimensions look a bit off because the lighting is completely different and therefore camera settings are different, and some of the furniture has moved a little bit in 90 years (but not much because Aziraphale)

1941 Crowley positions himself approximately / very nearly exactly in the same spot in the bookshop where present-day Crowley stops in the final 15 of S2E6 when Aziraphale says "Crowley, come back." The spot where shortly thereafter Crowley says the awful words that make us cry.

gif by stars-bean

gif by yellenabelova

1941 Azirphale with his little coins is standing in or very nearly in his same relative spot as in that scene, when present-day Aziraphale says "I need you," and "I don't think you understand what I'm offering you." And where shortly thereafter he says the awful words that make us cry.

gif by wearecrowley

gif by mabellous

Then Aziraphale gets a touch insecure when Crowley suggests they go to the magic shop because it is "for professional conjurors," and Crowley responds with his "My Nefertiti Fooling Fellow" line of support and encouragement and believing in Aziraphale. And in that moment Crowley stands and walks towards Aziraphale. And they are mere inches away from one another either fully in or very nearly exactly where they stood or rather will stand during the kiss. I'm not gonna post a kiss gif we have all seen it ten bajillion times and I do not need to cry tonight it is a Wednesday.

gif by gigew

gif by ajcrowleys

(I’m getting ahead of myself for a second but seriously, c’mon, just look at this fluff muffin's genuine smile above and tell me if it looks anything like that strained nightmare on his face in the gif below.)

gif by dykefaggotry

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE. And take from this what you will. That happy little 1941 West End Girl with his vanished farthing basking in the glow of what he now knows is his Demon's adoration. Rotate our duo 180° around the bookshop and Az is now primed to move into the position where he gives his frantic The Metatron's not so bad of a dude and Heaven are the Good Guys and Crowley is one of the Bad Guys nonsense ridiculousness that totally walks back on Aziraphale's entire character growth over 2 seasons. Could it possibly visually represent that our favorite little white-winged stim-city cinnamon roll found himself in the final 15 in a situation at a complete 180° from that moment in 1941 when he was so happy and being genuinely sincerely himself and he was about to do something that he really actually genuinely wanted so badly to do and it was GOOD and it was RIGHT. Crowley's confession is obviously such a wildcard. At this point in 1941 Crowley is supporting and encouraging and working with Aziraphale and in the final 15 he is doing exactly not that.

And even more. In both the 1941 scene and the final 15, Crowley has just entered, respectively, a church and Heaven to save Aziraphale in the middle of the blitz/a demon army almost war battle. A massive atmospheric difference is that 1941 happens at night and the final 15 happens in the morning. We'll work on figuring out what that might represent.

And then we have some seriously upsetting parallel Angel/Demon on the shoulder blocking/framing moments.

gif by i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky

gif by inhonoredglory

and

gif by inhonoredglory

And several more of such occur between the two scenes but I simply cannot.

And here's the part where I ramble and try to make sense of this in terms of the theories and fail miserably.

Get up, stretch your legs, have a glass of water, and take several deep breaths in.....and out..... You good? Let's go.

I've said it many times before and I stand by it that Aziraphale was lying through his teeth to Crowley in the final 15. Not because he wanted to lie to Crowley to convince him to come or to try to push him away - but because he was putting on a show for the Metatron. I think that just like the nazi zombies in 1941, the Metatron in S2E6 was absolutely watching Az's every move in the bookshop. And Az knew it. The first few times I watched it I thought Aziraphale's nervous glances to his left during his weird speech and the divorce were just nervous glances. Then I noticed that after he turned to face the other direction, his nervous glances went in the same direction, to his right side now, all the while to the window. It's alarming the frequency, several times a minute (but you were already acutely aware of the window glances you ineffably clever little shits.) I believe the whole final scene between our babies was an attempt at a sleight of hand by Aziraphale to subversively communicate with Crowley without letting on to the Metatron. How fitting that the parallel scene in 1941 revolved around supporting one another and planning and rehearsing for a performance that required for them to trust each other implicitly. And while I believe the act is for the Metatron, he is acting at Crowley - but expected him to catch on and act with him using coded language, movements, expressions, etc. that he expected/hoped Crowley would be able to read. However, both Crowley and Aziraphale in the final 15 were very clearly genuinely distraught for their own reasons. Crowley is about to finally verbally profess his love - and Aziraphale, I quite think, is terrified about his conversation with the Metatron and what's about to happen and is trying to come up with a tactic on the spot. It seems very likely to me that the intensity of their respective emotions in this moment absolutely doomed their communication.

How this all fits in with the leading theories.

I don't buy into the coffee theory. I think that was a metaphor or an allusion or symbolic of a very real "either accept my offer (which is not something you even want because everyone knows Aziraphale doesn't drink coffee) or suffer some dire consequences." I can't imagine Aziraphale would have ever thought the Metatron's offer was genuine and given out of merit. Surely he knew that he was in trouble. He'd thwarted the apocalypse, quit his job, stopped hiding that his person is a Demon, set off alarm bells in heaven twice in one week, blew up his halo and almost started a war, and hid an archangel on the lam. “You’re honest.” Bbgygrl bold face lied to the archangels for a week and the Metatron knows and Az knows he knows.

I'm not really for the body swap theory. Not really at all.

I’m not really for Angel!Crowley’s memory was wiped. How then would he remember the passwords? Crowley’s personality is very “that bitch” so I think all of his no-idea-who-tf-you-are interactions is just him being catty.

The time stop theory seems the most intriguing, I'm listening, but not yet sold. How prominently the ticking of the clock can be heard at all times in the bookshop feels important. I find myself flummoxed by the "missing minutes" / "continuity error" with that prominent clock in a show where the attention to detail is, “as you might say, a miracle,” that is propelling whole droves of human beings to the brink of discorporation. Here's an excellent breakdown of the timeline/examination of the clock in S2 by thesherrinfordfacility

I am, at this current moment in time, in the camp that believes Az likely attempted to convince Crowley to stop time so that he could explain the situation to him. To explain the threat - either implied, inferred, or direct - from the Metatron. To try to formulate a plan together. Check out this analysis from ineffableigh and take another look at Aziraphale babbling out his Heaven propaganda. Apparently the lip-reading theory that Az was mouthing about "time" has been debunked, but I stand by what looks like Aziraphale making the "time-out" hand gesture. And that damned clock loudly ticking its heart out all season must be important. Mustn't it??

Still, I'm not entirely convinced that any time stopping actually happened, not sure when it would have happened. Crowley was so emotional in a way we have never seen him. I think its highly possible that in the heat of that moment he wasn't catching Aziraphale's signals. I think that Crowley after the talk with Maggie and Nina was so caught up in saying what he was really thinking that it used up any possible bandwidth for LISTENING. But damn those tells seem like they would be/should be giant flashing neon warning signs to Crowley.

I mean, come on, the "C"lues in Aziraphale's ramble that he is spinning a wild-ass tale with coded language that would only make sense to Crowley are pretty obvious to me. If Az was really trying to convince Crowley to do something the last thing he would say is that it would be "nice(r)." And there is no way that at that point Aziraphale could have truly still considered Crowley to be a part of Hell and therefore one of the "bad guys." Seriously? 2 whole seasons and thousands of years spent learning about shades of grey and watching the Demon, who he loves, prove in a million little ways that he loves him back, watching that Demon do the right thing over and over, and TEACHING him, the Angel, the right thing. “Nothing lasts forever.” ?? My son is talking about his BOOKS. He is talking about THEM. They are IMMORTAL. They know what Eternity means. THEY last forever. If Aziraphale wanted to convince Crowley to come back and be an Angel, he would not have used that phrase/reasoning in his argument knowing full well that when Angel!Crowley became aware that his creation would be intentionally shut down, from Aziraphale's own mouth, mind, that was the triggering event that eventually led to Crowley's fall. Further, it would never have occurred to Aziraphale to try to use hurtful language to attempt to push Crowley away at this point because it has already been proven that that doesn’t work. S1E3 “I don’t even like you! “You do!” I think his erraticism in this scene was being totally caught off guard by Crowley's confession and trying to reconcile how to process and handle that while also trying to stick to his tactic of trying to get Crowley to read him. Az is brilliant, but Crowley is the one who usually can problem solve on his feet.

Az is clever enough to discern that he wasn't being offered the position in Heaven by the Metatron - Az was being forced back to Heaven. He wouldn't be happy or excited to make a difference in Heaven because he thought it was "the side of truth, of light, of good." No. There was no longer any freedom from Heaven, no safety for Aziraphale, which meant there was no longer any safety for Crowley. And if there was one motivator for Aziraphale above all other things it would be to keep Crowley safe. He had no choice but to go back to Heaven, so its not a matter of we can make a difference. It is a matter of we have to.

While I believe all of his word horror batshit disaster monologue was a bunch of old tosh, once present-day Aziraphale turns around from that 180° position to follow Crowley, into that final configuration matching that of 1941, he starts losing it. I think he's realizing that he failed in his attempt to get Crowley to understand. He did not expect to have to keep up this act so long. Crowley is walking away. It has all gone so wrong. He is cracking and the honest words start flooding past the lies. "Work with me!" (come on, catch up, please!) "We can be together"...(reluctantly, barely even trying anymore "...angels." And then it just breaks. "I need you!" "You don't understand!" While that would seem to be the case for Az, it really, at least on the surface, does not seem to have applied for Crowley.

The parallels between the final 15 and 1941 suggest to me, at least on the surface, an inverse. In 1941 we saw joy and excitement and wonder and cooperation and communication and trust. Furfur came to take Crowley back to Hell after catching our beloveds working together. And Aziraphale, the world's not best magician, performed a magic trick that may well have saved their existences, and "got it right the time that mattered." The final 15 is, again, on the surface and ostensibly, an abject disharmony. The Metatron came to take Aziraphale back to Heaven, and made a serious effort (no, not that kind, kids) to point out how very much the Ineffables "partnership" is "irregular" and implying, I'm sure, that they would only be permitted to be together as Angels in Heaven (which is a load of steaming celestial garbage.) (We're going to see more of the Az/Metatron conversation in S3, I just know it, there is some seriously important information missing.) But, as far as we were shown, at least on the surface, all of their getting to know one another and trusting one another and being able to read one another - failed to serve them the time that mattered.

And yet. Crowley still lingered in the end and stood so poised and stoic next to the Bentley watching Az step into the Hellevator...It kind of gave a feel that maybe Crowley figured something out. Maybe he had a cool down after storming out and realized something felt very off about that conversation. Maybe he just braced himself and remembered to trust Aziraphale. Maybe as he stormed out he saw the Metatron staring daggers into the bookshop window and it clicked. Maybe in Az's furtive glance back that very last time he once again mouthed "trust me." Some version of Az's message must have finally gotten through to Crowley. Somewhere along the way. It had to have. I can't believe it didn't. All season we were shown Crowley specifically can read Aziraphale. "You have three reasons for calling me" / "tone of voice," the "trust me" lip-reading at the 1941 magic show / Crowley has seen first hand how Az acts when he lies to Heaven in the Job mini-sode. And really. Crowley knows the second coming is on the agenda after his trip to Heaven. These two put the force of their entire existence into thwarting the Apocalypse once. Would he truly believe Aziraphale would want to help bring about the second coming? Sounds unlikely.

So, perhaps, the final 15 isn't in its entirety opposed to 1941. Maybe it's just a few symbolic nods. 1941 Crowley said the magic act they need to perform together needs to be "bigger" more "dramatic." Is there something bigger and more dramatic happening? Are they performing together? Did Crowley catch on? Did they stop time? Or is there a trick, like the photo swap, so surreptitious that it's almost invisible? Perhaps there is just a metaphor in there. Maybe now Crowley has to be the one to catch the metaphorical bullet and Az has to be the one to figuratively shoot? (That's terrifying.)

And then there's still the matter of that damned clock!

Also, let's face it, Alpha Centauri was never a plan. "They'll be shutting this all down in 6000 years.” “All.” As in "the universe.” As in Alpha Centauri included. They were going to have to take some sort of action eventually. I don't think Crowley ever wanted to go. He just wanted Aziraphale to say yes. Yeah, ouch.

Last point I promise is this video from @sendarya

Here, Nightingale Sang in its entirety is lined up with the 13 seconds in which it played in the Bentley and it ends exactly at the final frames of Crowley and Aziraphale. Some have speculated that Crowley had Nightingale queued up to play on the pair's way to breakfast at the Ritz. But that doesn't make sense. Wouldn't one have a song start at the beginning? AND Crowley had yet to have his chat with Maggie and Nina. I'm not so sure that the Crowley we know would have gotten it into his head/summoned up the confidence on his own to ready THAT song. Maybe the often tone-deaf Bentley was trying to comfort Crowley by playing Nightingale? But what I think is that when Aziraphale glanced back, he made the tiniest of little Angel nudge waves to convince the Bentley to play that song. From this vantage point, Michael Aziraphale's creepy smile in the final frame conveys an entirely different sentiment. It makes him look certain. It makes him look like an Angel with a plan. If I'm right in this part, I think that would have been exactly what was needed to finally get his message, intentions, and feelings across to Crowley in a way he could understand.

Come at me hive mind!

Also still new to tumblr and think I royally fudged it on adding those gifs so I'll work on that.

[lovelytsunoda]

gonna have a good time tonight // lance stroll

part of the welcome to wherever you are verse

summary: it’s time for lance and y/n’s annual canada day party. as an australian, y/n never really got the hype, but any excuse to get her old men in a room with lances old men was bound to create chaos

pairing: lance stroll x hutchence! reader

authors note: just in case anybody missed it, I added to the masterlist with a masterpost of some links to learn more about the real life lore behind the series

y/n.hutchence just posted to her private story!

y/n.hutchence just posted!

lake muskoka, ontario, canada

tagged: lancestroll, yourbestie, aprilrosepengilly

liked by yourbestie, yourmom, kirkpengilly and 203 others

y.nhutchence boys will be like ‘I know a place’ and then whisk you away to their cabin the woods

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yourbestie yeah but he gets a pass because HAVE YOU SEEN THE CABIN? i love your sugar husband. tell him thank you for the awesome weekend!

-> y.n/hutchence sugar husband?

-> yourbestie sugar daddy just sounded wrong

lancestroll ❤️

(liked by y/n.hutchence)

garrygarybeers for all the shit you talked about kirk's tacky shirt collection when you were growing up, you married someone with a collection much much worse

-> y.n/hutchence garry no collection is as bad as kirks

chloestroll gotta live it up before the old men get here!

-> timfarriss the next person to call me old is getting drop kicked to new zealand

-> fernandoalonso agreed. i'll help

kirkpengilly the real question is who won at poker? i taught you both so well

-> aprilrosepengilly neither. we were practicing to beat you

-> y.n/hutchence with both of us together, we should be unstoppable

-> kirkpengilly why is everybody ganging up on me today?

lailahasanovic thanks for the invitation! i'm having such a great time with you guys

y.n/hutchence posted to her private story! (and texted tim)

(The text messages got away from me here, tap to read and enlarge 😭 )

y.n/hutchence posted to her story!

seen by chloestroll, yourbestie, yourmom and others

lancestroll why is it that y'all are making fun of our margaritaville performance but fernando and paul are getting no flack at all for ruining the human league?

y/n.hutchence because fernando and my stepdad can actually hold a tune? oh and the fact that paul was SOBER

y/n.hutchence do you want me to bring you a hangover cure smoothie?

lancestroll ...yes please

lancestroll just posted!

lake muskoka, ontario, canada

tagged: y.n/hutchence, mickschumacher, aprilrosepengilly, scottyjames, chloestroll, estebanocon, lailahasanovic

lancestroll great weekend, greater people

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y.n/hutchence cinnamon rolls on the campfire was the best idea i've ever had

-> lancestroll the strangest, but one of the best

garrygarybeers notice how the old folk haven't been tagged in the campfire picture?

-> lancestroll its because you made fun of my tacky shirt collection

user jfc how big is this lake house?

user don't be shy, leak the karaoke video

-> scottyjames there are half a dozen old men who would be very cross with me if i did that . . . so no

aprilrosepengilly i'm going to miss that view so much

-> y/n.hutchence agreed

mickschumacher killer weekend bro. same time next year?

-> lancestroll of course!!

user the way she holds him in the boat.. they're so in love nobody speak to me

-> fernandoalonso trust me theyre worse in person

-> user KING NANDO REPLIED

jonfarriss we’ll always have margaritaville

-> andrewfarriss that’s no joke mate, my head is still killing me

-> lancestroll ditto. I’m still washing the smell of tequila out of my clothes

kirkpengilly added to his story!

(next part)

[lazycats-stuff]

Can I ask for a follow up on Australian bat!bro reader where he gets annoyed bc they won’t let him drink alcohol or smth? Here in Australia there is alot of underage drinking. (I mean I got high and tipsy at my 17th birthday party with parental permission💀)

Just thinking about the culture shock most of them would get 😭

Lol, it's the same thing here where I live. Alcohol flows around here. Despite being an adult, I don't drink at all. I just hate alcohol. Also, I know this is short, but it's fine...

Summary: (Y/N) wants to drink. The fam is not allowing it.

Warnings: Underage drinking,

Australia and America couldn't be anymore different when it came to drinking. In America, a simple of drop for a person under 21 is disappointing to parents. Siblings would probably be happy and proud and would look for each.

In Australia, you just need parent's permission. Oh how nice that was back then. (Y/N) remembered how he got tipsy on one of his birthdays at the time. It was lit and (Y/N) loved it. Of course, he wouldn't drink as if he is an alcoholic.

He would only drink in company of others and that would be a glass tops. Not even a second one. He can't get embarrassed in public now. But there was a slight problem now too.

His family is the biggest problem. Well, some of them are, not all of them are the problem.

Jason is amazing when it came to drinking. The two would sometimes drink together and it was so fun. (Y/N) didn't like to drink something like a shot. He would like to savor the flavor of the drink, whether or not it was some wine or scotch.

Or even some votka.

You don't just drink it, you savor it. And that's what he does every time he drinks with Jason. Sometimes there are times when they just drink in silence, enjoying the company. That usually meant that sharing a bottle something between them two.

Sometimes it was just quiet chatter in between them. It was funny and Jason was the supplier for them both. In return, he got 5 bucks from (Y/N) for his efforts.

It's not easy to hide anything in this household. Everyone was trained to observe and it was just... Sometimes it gets to you and you try hard to hide things.

Damian is the one who doesn't care, but would advise (Y/N) not to drink it. Damian is only thinking about his self awareness and his cognitive thinking in some situations.

Damian is just like Bruce, can't drink for the life of him. Not that he wants to anyway. It's not good for your awareness and Damian always had to be vigilant and observant.

And besides, Damian likes (Y/N) and he just wants to make sure that he is okay. He also likes (Y/N)'s accent a lot. And considering that (Y/N) is not a vigilante and despite the training, (Y/N) is a cinnamon roll according to Damian.

Dick was the one who was against it completely. He didn't like it, he hated it and he wanted (Y/N) to stop drinking. He remembers nearly having a heart attack when he saw (Y/N) drinking for the first time, ever so nonchalantly.

He never ran so fast to get the glass out of (Y/N)'s hands. He was so confused at (Y/N)'s blank look and a simple what. It seems that the concept of drinking below the age of 21 is a foreign thing, something unheard of.

And that's when he got vigilant with (Y/N). It made (Y/N) sigh every time he saw Dick lurking somewhere, watching him. It made his insane and that's how he got better with hiding alcohol.

(Y/N) thought that drinking below 21 in America is like being an alcoholic.

Tim didn't have a say in anything in regards to this matter at all. He was addicted to coffee and he is the one who needs to kind of let go of it. So much caffeine is not healthy at all.

An occasional drink is fine. So much cups of coffee are not.

The two just shrugged towards one another in passing, (Y/N) with some alcohol and Tim with his coffee. They didn't even say anything to each other at this point. Just a nod or a shrug of their shoulders.

That was more than enough.

Now Bruce... Well, he knew that Australia has different laws and that drinking there is something that's more lenient. In America, unless you turn 21 you are, in (Y/N)'s mind, you are really missing in life.

The first time Bruce saw (Y/N) drink he paled and tried to get it away from him, but then asked him about the customs regarding the drinking in Australia.

(Y/N) explained it to him and Bruce advised him not to drink. Well, Bruce started hiding the alcohol in the house. Nobody really drank so it wasn't a difficult thing to hide. However, he knew that Jason is a supplier.

So he had to keep an eye out.

And Alfred? Oh boy, that man hates when (Y/N) drinks. He doesn't care about traditions in Australia. He spent some time in Australia and while he loved the Aussies and the way they drank, he didn't like it when his grandson did.

(Y/N) knew that he had to evade (Y/N) with everything in him. Jason hid the alcohol in his room, knowing that Alfred rarely goes into his room and (Y/N) and Jason agreed to it.

The last time when (Y/N) got caught by Alfred, a shoe went flying past his head. There was yelling and Alfred threatened with something bigger. (Y/N) managed to duck just in time to get in his room where Jason was waiting.