#i want cheese bread rlly bad

[nabbing-nibs]

Kills myslef

[slicznymartwy]

Billy Lenz X GN! Reader where the reader is so gentle and surprisingly patient with him? Billy would believe he doesn’t deserve their kindness and he assumes the reader is “pretending” to be nice, but they’re not pretending at all.

hmm i was kind of torn if it should be established or not .. went with not but i think i regret it !! so i might post more of this but this is mostly a rlly short first meeting blurb hehe warning: general billy lenz gross dialogue, thats it

☾⋆⁺₊ billy lenz x gn!reader

Waiting is the worst part. Billy looks outside, where the dark sky and white snow stretch on forever and ever. It's almost time, he tells himself, just a little while longer. Then, he can finally fill his grumbling stomach.

True to his own word, he lets himself sneak down the ladder after a few more minutes, taking it rung by rung to keep as quiet as possible. He gives the same treatment to the staircase, taking each step with measured precision. Billy isn't an amateur, and he's taken this route many times since he started staying in the attic.

Billy freezes in the kitchen doorway when he sees he’s not alone. He sees you sitting at the kitchen table, a partially full glass of milk in front of you. Billy wants to book it back to his attic and pretend that you were just a ghost, or that he was a ghost. You’re both ghosts, haunting each other. 

“Hi,” you say softly. Billy doesn’t answer you. He stares, standing still in the doorway. 

“Are you hungry?” you ask. Billy still keeps quiet, but his stomach doesn’t get the message; it growls lowly, long and drawn-out.

When you smile, you try to cover it with your hand. He doesn’t know why. You’re so stupid. Why would you hide a pretty smile? You don’t want him to see it? Do you hate him that much? He wants to hold your mouth open and see your teeth. They looked so white.

“I’ll make us sandwiches, okay?”

Billy watches from the doorway at first, but he moves closer to watch. He might as well see what you put in it. He won’t eat it if there’s tomatoes. He hates tomatoes. They make the bread all wet, even if he picks them out. 

You don’t use tomatoes. Just ham and cheese, mayo and mustard. His mouth waters as you cut it in half. Billy doesn’t realize how close he is until you turn and you have to look up at him.

“Thirsty?” you ask. Billy doesn’t answer. 

“Water?” You pause. “Beer?”

Billy looks into your eyes. He wants to scare you. Why aren’t you scared? You shouldn’t be making him a sandwich. You should be crying and calling the police. Billy is scary. He’s filthy Billy, he’s the Moaner.

You hold his sandwich out to him on a napkin and he snatches it out of your hands. He turns away from you when he takes his first bite, and then he can’t stop. He eats and eats until there’s nothing. He licks the crumbs off his fingers. It’s better than the pickles or the peanut butter he’s been stealing.

When he’s done, you poke your head out around him. You’re holding the other sandwich. 

“Still hungry?” you ask. He takes this one too, and destroys it similarly.

You make two more sandwiches, one for him and one for you this time, and Billy sits down at the kitchen table while he waits. Once the sandwich is front of him, along with a tall glass of water, Billy eats it slower than he did the others. He chugs the glass of water.

“You’ll make yourself sick, slow down,” you murmur, pouting. Billy gasps when he stops drinking, wiping his chin with his palm. He starts to drink again, but slower. He looks to you and you smile. 

“What’s your name?” 

Billy doesn’t answer. He takes the half you weren’t holding and eats it too. He expects you to lash out. Hit him, pull his hair, throw him out of the house. Yell at him that he’s being bad. Bad Billy. 

Instead, you get up and refill his cup with more tap water. 

“Want an apple?” you ask. Billy takes the cup of water and sips some of it. He shakes his head afterward. 

You smile without any teeth. Billy misses them.

When Billy’s done, you take his napkins and clean off his crumbs from the table before tossing it all away. 

“Want more water?” you ask. Billy shakes his head and watches you carry the cup to the sink and leave it there. 

“Do you want to see my bedroom?” you ask him quietly. 

Billy’s eyes open wider. Stupid. So stupid. Billy could ruin you. Billy could destroy you. Don’t you know what Billy is? Aren’t you afraid of the Moaner? You’re not supposed to welcome Billy in. 

Billy doesn’t answer your question, but he follows behind you up the stairs. You close the door to your room behind him, but Billy stays next to the door as you walk to your bed. 

“This is it,” you say. Billy stares at you. He’s seen your room before plenty of times, just never like this. Never with you, inside with you. 

“Come here.”  You pat the edge of the bed next to you. Billy waits to take his first step, then waits again for the next. He’s slow, but it's only because he still can't figure out your angle.

Still, he manages to sit beside you. He stares into his lap while you look at him. 

“You’re the one from the attic, aren’t you?” you whisper. 

Billy’s hands clench. He expects it now. You’ll be so scared of him. You’ll push him away, call him a freak. You’ll hit Billy until his nose bleeds, and then he’ll choke you with both hands because you made him mad. You'll deserve it because you hate Billy. 

But you don’t do anything - you just wait. Billy doesn’t know how to answer. Your teeth are so white. 

“I can hear you up there sometimes. Your foot steps. You have to be really quiet, don’t you?” you ask. He nods, because he does have to be quiet. He didn’t want to get caught, but you caught him anyways. 

Aren’t you afraid? Why are you letting him sit with you? Billy can’t understand you. Why are you being so nice?

“It’s a big house, but I can hear your phone calls too. You can be loud when you want to be.”

Billy’s heart plummets further. He grunts and rubs his eyes. With his vision obscured, it’s easier to talk. It’s like he isn’t really in the room with you. He wants to be up in the attic with his phone. He’d feel better talking to you that way. 

Instead, he only lets himself say, “I want to cum on your teeth.” His voice is quiet, whispered into the dark room. You sigh. 

“I wish you wouldn’t say that,” you murmur. 

“I’ll lick them clean,” he promises. They were really white. He catches another glimpse of them while you’re talking, pearly and shiny like the sun. 

“Do you want to take a shower? Or a bath? I could show you where the bathroom is,” you say. 

“No,” he says quickly, firmly. He hates wet hair, wet skin. Cold.

“Okay. Do you want to sleep here?” you ask him. Billy hates it. Why do you get to be so nice?

“Wanna put my cock inside your hole. Pig fuckhole,” he mutters, pressing against his eyes until his vision swims and flashes.

You sigh, and Billy blinks a few times to get back his sight before watching you twist and lay down. Your hair fans out against your pillow and, from he still sits at the edge of your bed, he imagines rubbing his cock against it. Evil, disgusting Billy. He should be put down like a dog. Bad dog, bad Billy.

“When’s the last time you slept on a real bed?” you ask him.

“Woof. Lay down, Billy,” he says quietly. He watches you and you watch him. The bed was really soft. He could curl up at the bottom of the bed and sleep at your feet like a puppy dog. He imagines rubbing his red cock against your toes. Would you hate Billy if you knew his brain? Would you still let him sleep with you in your big warm soft bed if you knew he was terrible?

He doesn’t want to find out. He crawls over your legs and lays down next to you, his head resting on the pillow beside yours. He stares up at the ceiling and tries to imagine what boxes of junk he’s underneath. 

“It’s lonely out there,” you say suddenly. Billy looks at you, and you’re also looking at the ceiling, so Billy looks back up. 

“You can sleep here tonight,” you tell him, fixing the blanket around the both of you.

Billy could easily roll over on top of you. He could bite your throat and pull out your flesh. He could chop you into pieces and then fuck whatever’s left. Instead, he stays still and watches the ceiling until he falls asleep. 

© slicznymartwy 2023, please do not repost or copy.

[askpsf]

do any of the main cast have any favorite food or drink.. :3?

:: 🦈 + 🐍

ill eat basically anything so i dont rlly think abt favorites but pineapple pizza EATS bro. best thing in burnett im so deadass. and i cant lie id kill for some mt dew rn i looove radiator fluid

You also like chocolate chip cookies! I remember that from foster care. They were a comfort food, right?

yea yea answer the question queermo

Says you! Anyway… hmm. I also haven’t thought about it a lot, actually. I guess I like bread? And cakes, any kind of baked sweet treat I guess. Now I want red velvet cupcakes…

drink?

Oh, um, peach tea. And iced tea in general, actually.

bunny’d have your head for that

Well she’s ancient!!! Iced tea is good.

:: 🧸

Oh, oh!! If there’s anything I miss eating most, it’s mamá’s homemade torrijas! That, and this one calamari dish from a restaurant mi papá used to take me to when I did well on a test… I remember they specialised in seafood, so I got to try the salmon a couple times, and that was also really good ^_^ maybe I just like seafood! And um, I like rootbear floats :3

:: 🐇 + 🐄

hmm. i remember i really liked this one specific kind of dumpling we used to buy. what were they called again?

gyoza ^w^

gyoza, that’s right. i like those. though i’m quite fond of most kinds of dumplings in general. and pierogis. i’d hope you don’t need me to tell you what my favourite drink is.

i liiikeee dad’s grilled cheeses :> and and and what theo said .. the spanish french toast things !!

torrijas.

yes !! and i like ummm choco milk orrr cassie’s homemade orange juice :3c

:: 🦇

ohhh my god i remember answering this on discord i think like aaaages ago 💀 i fucking love dakgangjeong dude it’s korean style fried chicken but i always have it with this like bright pink sauce i can never remember the name of ITS SO GOOD FUCKKK …. errmmm aside from that i would do anything for a plate of hotteok right now i miss that stuff so bad but we haven’t had it in ages 😭 and im a dr pepper girlie

[wifebiter]

what ingredients would you put on a scooby.doo sandwich

sandwich that is very good 100% trust me but also do not try at home:

plain bagel, lightly toasted + buttered; if you replace this w another bread keep in mind the balance of the flavors, i.e. if you use sourdough (which I love in all other instances but don't think works the best here) don't add overly sour or sharp cheeses, and if you use a sweet base like a cinnamon raisin bagel or smthn you don't need to add another sweet element later on

some kinda sliced meat but I love prosciutto for this; it will be warmed by the toasty bagel but u can also toast the whole thing after if u rlly want your cheese to melt too; salami and ham are also good here but most sliced meats will probably work fine... again, keep flavor balance in mind

some kind of cheese, provolone is my main pick but any other sliced cheese is good.... literally anything tasty works tbh

honey or strawberry jam!!! this is important... I have a sweet tooth and think that the perfect warm sammy should have a sweet element to balance out savory/salty flavors... you could probably get away w another type of jam i just love strawberry and have not tested this with anything else

you can put smthn leafy in here if u want just don't make it TOO watery or it detracts from the other flavors so I would avoid lettuce... you don't need something that waters down the other flavors when ur bread base is already fairly neutral; if I ever do add a leafed item I really like spinach (also rlly good on cinnamon raisin)

you wanna assemble that bad boy when that bread is fresh outta the toaster and nice n warm!! I like when my cheese is melted a lil bit and soft but not all the way gooey, yknow?

[seakicker]

Miss Seakicker HI! 🦦 anon here, I just wanted to pop in and ask a question but before that;

How have you been? I’m loving the new theme and layout for your blog! I hope you’re drinking enough water and taking enough breaks. We can’t have Fertility archon Juju getting sick!

I started playing Tears of The Kingdom and there’s a place called Joju-u-u Shrine in the game (we almost had Juju Shrine!) I went bra shopping earlier (nothing spicy, just needed some new ones).

I’m not really sure how else to ask this but do you have any advice for when the insecurities about one’s body image start to get…loud? Like some days I’ll feel good in a pair of pants because i fill them out really well but then there’ll be bad days like the time i spent 2 hours on an online site buying a kazuha cosplay because I didn’t want to admit i was a size bigger. (I bought the bigger size in the end and that one fits like a glove)

Feel free to answer this whenever you like! - 🦦 anon

HELLOOOOOOO SWEETHEART GAH i’m very late in answering this because i’m just tryin to find the motivation to use tumblr consistently again, but i was thinking about this ask again today bc i’ve had it in drafts since you sent it to me. i’ve been working a ton but i’m alright; drinking water and working on eating healthier for myself 😊❤️ what kinds of things do you think we’d do at a juju shrine… 🤔👀

as far as the insecurity part goes, honestly i’ve found that staying off the internet entirely on days where you’re maybe feeling a little worse about yourself is extremely beneficial. with how prevalent bodychecking and diet culture BS are on tiktok and instagram in particular and with how advanced filters and photoshop have gotten (remember when people considered it impossible to use filters/edits on videos? good times), taking a bit of a detox and staving off of doomscrolling rlly go a long way on days where i may not be feeling the best about myself. like, i’ve seen people recommend eating an entire block of cream cheese under the guise of health because keto influencers love spinning nonsense and trying to make you genuinely believe that an entire brick of cream cheese is inherently better for you than a single piece of bread for toast, lol.

at any rate, i think it’s good to remind yourself that you are real and your body is real and not everything you see online is real— most people are able to (rightfully) internalize that they shouldn’t compare their bodies to digital art or anime characters, and i think that mentally should extend to just about any 3D picture you see online— while i’m not inherently anti-photoshop or anything like that, i DO think it’s harmful for these people who participate in photoshopping their pics or using filters to pass it off as (A) all natural genetics and/or (B) simple diet and exercise because no amount of genetics, diet, or exercise are gonna give you a 13 inch waist and 42 inch hips. even pictures of real life people can be twisted to the point where they might as well be fictitious, but your body is real when you look at it and real in anything and everything you wear, so why worry about how it stacks up compared to a picture that’s certainly edited?

i first read this on pinterest in like high school but it’s honestly sound advice and something that’s really stuck with me— we don’t get mad at our feet for being too small/too big/too wide/too narrow when shoes don’t fit, we just buy a different size— shouldn’t the same idea extend to all our clothes? our bodies aren’t made to fit clothes, clothes are made to fit our bodies— and buying a bigger cosplay to fit you better isn’t a fault of yours nor your body’s. you got this ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[whydoyouwannaknowmyusername]

jan, 30th

i feel so shitty today lol. i'm so bad at restricting (fastinh >>>), i had whole bread and freaking cheese for breakfast, but bc of it i got no lecturing. had salad for lunch and binged on so many fucking sweets. not why i'm feeling shitty tho. i have freaking insolation and am just coming out of my period. my shoulders are all burning, it'll be at least tomorrow for me to feel hydrated again and my muscles hurt too, can barely raise my arms without burning.

i went trekking to a waterfall yesterday and, the stress of the road and emotional rollerscoaster of pms aside, it was rlly nice. my fav part was photographing my aunts and editing the pics later. i'm so proud of my pictures. but i did not want to be photographed. my body looks so weird and wobbly and enourmous on a bikini, i couldn't possibily. they are straight sized but they don't need to be skinny to be pretty, or even to be pretty at all. we took selfies, and at the time i was absolutely sure of my decision. but now i feel a bit grievous of it bc the pics i took of them turned out so marvelous they posted immediately and i so wish i had one there on the waterfall too. granted my body was bleeding a freaking endometrium so i give myself a license for being bloated and wanting to crawl under a shell. i want some aspects of idealized adulthood so much (idealized by me ofc). working an intership and paying for my own waxing as regular as needed so i'll always feel better in a bikini - that helps a lot for me, everything from the neck down begone pls. and paying for a membership at a gym or a voleyball school (though that one's truly expensive) a lot of ed tumblr is just actively hating our bods, but i just do that so frequently against my will that i need to cultivate some balance. i don't need to hate who i am to change how i am rn. for some ppl it's a boost for results but i guess i'm just a sweestpo girlie - i'm slow in that & it's a love and hate. but today for example, i wanna eat some fruits, rest up and really take care. not half-a-banana-for-the-whole-day, which is what i feel i should do. i can't stop the voices and the tormenting around food every single hour of every day in my life. i can't stop the eat-helthy!-you're-so-fucking-disgusting!-eat-to-feel-better!-are-you-dumb?!. i can't stop my triggers, i can't undo my purges and binges, i can't make my mind neutral to food and to my body and helpful to a healthy-ish weightloss. but i have these impulses to take care. true care, not stuffing my face bc i'm dumb and wired to use food as comfort. true care, like eating a lot of fruit - and the sugar in them - after a day of insolation. and i think i should listen to them every once in a while.

[nelly-wants-to-b-skinny]

day eight: fri, may 12

calorie limit: 400

total calorie intake: 320

• ham and cheese (320)

calories remaining: 80

calories burned: 20

net calories: 300

weight: 186.6

water: 96oz

IF: 25 h

notes: i couldn't work out but still felt rlly good, whenever I got hungry, I drank a bottle of water literally my stomach hurt so bad i wasn't even hungry anymore. i also distracted myself with washing my hair and styling it as well as doing my makeup. my mom made me literally a sandwich of all my fear foods. bread, cheese, butter ugh, but I had to eat it bc I didn't want her to feel bad. i hated every second of it, i drank a whole water bottle before so I didn't eat the whole thing. thank God. my brain was screaming how fat I was the whole time.

[laviexenrose]

𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝒶𝓈𝒾𝒸𝓈

NAME: isabelle marie allard NICKNAME(S): is, izzy, belle AGE: most verses - age 29 SPECIES: human

𝓅𝑒𝓇𝓈𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁

MORALITY: lawful / neutral / chaotic || good /  gray / evil  RELIGIOUS BELIEF: born-again christian  VIRTUES: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice (all of them lol) PRIMARY GOALS IN LIFE: spreading as much good and love to humanity as possible (through her wealth) but also getting married and having a family  LANGUAGES KNOWN: french, english, spanish, italian, some portuguese  SECRETS: not exactly a deep dark secret per say but isabelle won’t go around telling everybody she’s well-off; and if anything, it's more like there’s secrets being kept from her asdfdjf QUIRKS: doesn’t need lots of sleep, 5 hours is good. detail-oriented !! super organized with labels and everything. remembers important, significant dates but also the most random events in her life and some history ones too. i don’t want to say she has a photographic memory but she can read things pretty fast and then recall them, sometimes verbatim, later on. that helps/helped so much when she is/was doing her studies aka she’s a super nerd.  SAVVIES: knows probably way too much about plants, like the medicinal properties and which can be consumed or not - but i think based on that alone she has a pretty good chance of survival, if she were stranded in the woods or something. maybe not.

𝓅𝒽𝓎𝓈𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓁

BUILD: slender / scrawny / bony / fit / athletic / herculean / babyfat / pudgy / obese / other   HEIGHT: 5′4″ SCARS/BIRTHMARKS: no scars but she has a small, circular pigmented birthmark on her lower abdomen, left side, just above her hip. she has freckles too but they’re not very noticeable unless you’re up close and personal ABILITIES/POWERS: N/A RESTRICTIONS: trusts too easily. always patient, even when she’s frustrated. wants to believe everyone has good/can be good??

𝒻𝒶𝓋𝑜𝓊𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒𝓈

FAVOURITE FOOD: bread, cheese, chocolate - what else do you need? FAVORITE DRINK: raspberry tea, lightly sweet FAVOURITE PIZZA TOPPING: cheese  FAVOURITE COLOR: technically pink but not bright or light, it’s like a rusty rose  FAVOURITE MUSIC GENRE: classical FAVOURITE BOOK GENRE:  historical and/or romance FAVOURITE MOVIE GENRE: doesn’t watch many movies but if i had to guess it’d be the same as the book genres  FAVOURITE SEASON: spring  FAVOURITE BUTT TYPE: doesn’t have one? haha i’m crying FAVOURITE CURSE WORD: does not curse, ever !! there was like one time in a thread, and it was in french but it's very very VERY rare if it happens  FAVOURITE SCENT: vanilla, honeysuckle or just anything floral 

𝒻𝓊𝓃 𝓈𝓉𝓊𝒻𝒻

BOTTOM OR TOP: this one’s too obvious  LOUD BURPER OR SOFT BURPER: okay but just imagine isabelle loudly burping? lol !! she’d still be rlly cute about it, but she does it softly when she does, of course  SINGS IN THE SHOWER: maybe not like full on, powerhouse singing but humming some words or lyrics that are stuck in her head LIKES BAD PUNS: yes! laughs at anything punny, whether it’s good or bad THEIR OPINION ON THE MUN: i probably remind her of her grandmother, for being a cruel and wicked woman. i’m horrible, especially to her. i can’t imagine why she would like me v much XD

TAGGED BY: @honorhearted

TAGGING: @xbless-this-broken-roadx , @ericbrandonrp  , @kit-just-kit  , @lavishbylaw , @marimelwrites ( do jameson pls + for any muse of yours you want ♡ ) , @richardxoliverxmayhew , @secretscost ( for ethan or zander! or anyone you feel like doing:) ) , @skyler-bane , @wintcrstcrfall ( tagged for matthew but honestly anyone you’d like to do! ♡ ) , @withinkandquill ( for anyone else you wanna do !! ), @wynterlanding​

[gaylonelydyke]

if it’s not too late, 12 for episodes and ships, and 17!

its never too late! thankyou for the ask 🥰 oo damn this is gonna be a hefty one, just to prepare you this is gonna be long 😅😅😅

spoiler alert for my friends who are finishing up season 2 rn, be careful if you look at my top five episodes, pay attention the the episode numbers, i will put [ ] in bold at the beginning and end of spoilers!

12. Top 5 ships

5. faith x myself because have you seen faith? shes such a babe! spare consensual kiss maam?

4. willow x oz, i dont know if this is an unpopular or not but i feel like if the 90s had been more accepting of term then willow wouldve been bisexual, but like even now tv shows will rarely let characters say that word :( but anyway i love them! theyre both quirky and kinda awkward but its such a sweet relationship and you really see how they go from awkward crushes to an actual deep relationship, oz is one of my favourite characters too what a dude!

3. giles x jenny, mlmxwlw solidarity in this bisexual couple! there is no an ounce of straight between them and i love it, i love their dynamic, i love that giles *respects women* (im staring daggers at xander rn), also the original girlboss x malewife couple askdjaksjhd

2. drusilla x spike, these two!!!!!! once again a bisexual couple with zero straight between them, the vibes are off the charts. sexy vampires, goth x punk love, i just love them man, and their relationship is so interesting to delve into. like theyre vampires, theyre soulless and yet they have a capacity for love, they care deeply for eachother, theyre so tender towards eachother in season 2 in the way they take turns to care for one another, also drusilla picking spike up with one hand made me gay and thats on that

1. willow x tara!!!!! lesbians man lesbians! they have a beautiful relationship, until a certain point wink wink, they feel like a perfect match, willows become more outgoing due to buffy and xander snd having a proper group of friends, so its cool to see her as the more outgoing independant one in the relationship, and tara is such a honey 🥺 the biggest sweetheart in the world what a babe!!!! also like how groundbreaking was their relationship? as a queer couple, they had p much the dame amount of screentime as a aueer relationship today! and willow says the word lesbian so many times and is always making gay jokes which is something shows today are too scared to do, its honestly refreshing which is weird for a show in the 90/00s

12. Top 5 episodes

this is so hard because its such a damn good show so i had to rlly be picky about this but here we go

5. 6x22 ‘grave’- i watched buffy for the first time last year at work coz i worked with one other person just packing shit, and THIS was the episode that made us cry infront of eachother. the scene with willow and xander at the end is one of my all time favourite scenes and like legit we were watching and we starting going like ha.. this is so sad Q_Q and we looked at eachother and we were both crying akdjdjsjdhs its SO GOOD, like this is a friendship ive been so invested in and [seeing xander be able to pull her back from that dark place was so heart wrenching and amazing god its so good]

4. 3x12 ‘helpless’ - im finishing up s2 in my rewatch rn so i havent rewatched this one to double check but i remember loving it man. buffys father daughter relationship with giles is my favourite of the whole show they make my heart ache, so i love that this is an episode that really shows you how dedicated giles is to her, [its the breaking point where he finally disregards the fact that hes a watcher and acts as her father once and for all, its a turning point for their relationship where he is finally embracing the fact that shes like a daughter to him and i just love to see it Q_Q get you a dad who will leave his lifes calling for you]

3. 4x22 ‘restless’ - season 4 is interesting coz it has really good episodes and them some gd awful ones 😂😂 but this one just blew me away, i love a good character study episode and this is THE SHIT! its so weird and creepy but in the most perfect way, its not on the nose its so subtle, it feels like an uncanny valley version of buffy almost, i like that they finished the season first and then took this episode to do something out of the box and different i feel like it lets them fully explore this idea without the pressure of needing plot included. [also the cheese man is iconic. dont however like xander being all nasty with willow and tara but whats new there man]

2. 1x12 ‘The Prophecy Girl’ - for my first watch of buffy i wasnt that into the first season, like i enjoyed it but i didnt think it was anything super special? but this episode changed EVERYTHING for me. up until now buffy had been fun, witty, charming, but not anything new atleast for me, maybe in the 90s it was but right now its your average teen supernatural show. but this episode!!!! the emotion! buffy facing her death, her speech about how shes just 16 and shes scared and she doesnt want to die, that is what i wanna see!! its heartbreaking and it made me cry, and then it gives us the wonderful moment of giles trying to take her place and buffy realising that she has to be the one to do it, man its so good! basically anything with buffy and giles being a duo is gonna make it an automatic yes from me and this is indeed the case for this episode, i just love that the show remembers that shes a child! shes not brave all the time, shes not strong all the time, shes just doing her best and sometimes its overwhelming, 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 i bow to this episode

1. 2x17 ‘passion’ - i know i just sang praises about prophecy girl but THIS EPISODE IS THE SHIT, the best episode full stop. i wont accept any argument. angel is probably my favourite big bad, its so funny to see plain bread, mopey brooding angel become this charismatic, funny, poetic, blood thirsty angelus, hes everything i want in a villain and in this episode he delivers! rip jenny tho love her. i think the tension built around angel is so good, because of his drawings and notes left around, every scene youre worrying like is he here now? are they safe or what? its so tense! and also it is me and im a slag for buffy x giles father daughter moments and this episode fucking delivers! giles discovering jennys dead body is probably one of the best scenes on the show, the dramatic irony is heAVY, we know jenny is dead, we know that these flowers arent from her, but giles is so so happy, and i want to see him happy but you just know somehing horrific is about to happen and damn does it. its a masterpiece! i love jenny and giles so much it is so sad, but also the fact that it gave us that scene makes me almmmoost ok with it? i also love the moment where giles breaks down in buffys arms, hes been there for her and now shes returning the favour and hes accepting it i just 😭😭😭 also on a different note, angels narration of this episode is amazing! it gives us great insight to who he is as “evil angel” and like even though hes awful i was also kind of rooting for him coz hes just such a great villain

sorry this is so long lmao, last question!

17. Which characer do you wish had less of a focus on them in the show?

i dont wanna get yelled at butttttt i dont like the amount of focus on dawn. i think it makes sense for the her first season considering the story arc but that season really does double down its focus onto dawn and buffy and it barely leaves room for anyone else to have a storyline, it keeps the episodes super depressing too its like a constant level of just sadness the whole time because we’re so stuck in THEIR arc, theres no room to balance it out and have a breather, some people might like that its more serious but i really really didnt like, i love episodes like prophecy girl where it is campy and brings the more emotional notes in when the time comes, but dawns whole arc is just constantly depressing the whole time i just hate it, and also just shes not a character i felt i could connect to because of how suddenly shes introduced, so its weird to have her SO focused on in the first half of that season coz we dont know her yet so i feel like the emotional moments dont land the way that they should? basically they shouldve eased us into dawn or introduced her differently and maybe i would like her enough to want the focus on her but i really just dont

adksjakjshd apologies for the essay this is, thanks for the ask!

[angeltrapz]

SAW ASK!!!!!! 💞 n ee wayz as far as Eric/Adam goes i wld love to hear yr thoughts on how their relationship looks @ th very beginning when Eric still v v fresh in his recovery (obvs we’ve talked a lil abt this both but expandin on stuff), n also u mentioned Eric knowing how to bake (at least some things) n id LOVE to hear more abt that!! also for a general SAW polycule question, just bc it’s a dynamic i don’t think either of us have rlly touched on, thoughts on William + Mallick?

SAW ASK!!! (tysm!! <3)

okay so Eric/Adam:

I rly like th idea u had where they meet at one of Bobby’s groups (also throwing in tht I think abt Group Therapy All The Time) bc like. neither of them want to be there, neither of them rly have much in common w any other survivors, n neither of them can stand Bobby Dagen. so tht’s still like, th foundation fr how these 2 meet to me lol. the idea of them listening 2 him talk while rolling their eyes at each other n fake gagging is So Good.

I feel like Adam is just... rly open? w Eric? bc god does he understand how fucking hard it is 2 be around ppl after smth like that - maybe not to the same extent (though they DO have tht solidarity), but like. there’s only so many times u can hear “I’m so sorry tht happened/I can only imagine what u went thru” b4 yr ready 2 just tell ppl to shut the fuck up. so like, on Eric’s side of things, not getting tht frm Adam? not hearing the whole “I’m rly sorry u almost lost yr son and were locked up fr six months”? tht’s foreign territory ENTIRELY 2 him. sorry is all anyone has to say, even other survivors. Adam not saying sorry n instead being like “well I’m glad yr still around” is kind of what makes tht decision in Eric’s head like, yes, I think I want 2 get to know this dude. He Gets It.

n Adam is just patient too. letting Eric come 2 him, making sure he knows he’s there, tht sorta thing, bc regardless of how much he likes Adam, being around ppl again is not smth he can just jump into. it’s a wound tht is still raw n open n aching n he needs to treat it w care instead of rubbing salt in. n Eric half expects tht to turn Adam away, esp when he sometimes goes a day w no communication, but it doesn’t n he’s just sorta like ??? bc Eric never rly... saw some1 making tht kind of accommodation fr him, never expected some1 to understand it. tht’s another region I feel they’re very similar in - contact, sometimes, can b very very hard, even over text. if they don’t speak all day, tht’s okay - they send each other “i’m okay” texts n th other person responds w “good” n tht’s fine. Adam provides compromises when Eric never even knew tht was a possibility. it’s good.

things progress kinda slowly but not in a bad way. they’re just kind of getting used 2 each other - both of them have been alone fr so long, having some1 in their lives tht they give a shit abt n who gives a shit abt them is smth they’re both navigating. fr Eric, it’s being around some1 consistently after his trap. fr Adam, it’s actually having a friend who doesn’t make him feel like shit + having some1 he can definitively say is there. sometimes its easier 2 sit in comfortable silence than it is to force a convo neither of thm rly have the energy fr. sometimes just being in a room together is enough. tht’s smth they both notice - tht it’s like. they find it easy 2 be around each other. which is SO foreign to both of thm so they’re just kinda feelin it out?

n again like u’ve written b4, I also feel one of th turning points is when Eric calls Adam abt his hair + Adam shaves it fr him in his bathroom. tht’s th point where they’re both like “oh, I rly care abt this person.” bc it’s three in th fucking morning, Adam didn’t even have 2 pick up his phone or even answer when he saw it was Eric. but he did, bc he cares, bc he wants to help, n Adam’s just kinda freaking out internally too bc it’s been a looong time since he’s felt tht way abt some1 - he just wants Eric 2 be okay. n it’s then tht he’s kinda like, coming 2 terms w th fact that he truly cares abt someone who he can say without a doubt cares abt him too and it’s just like. oof. ESP when Eric sleeps over bc again, it’s early as fuck, and isn’t it so much easier 2 just have him stay? isn’t it easier fr Adam to make space fr Eric in his bed n home n heart? n Eric actually doesn’t tell Adam abt this later, but tht night he sleeps over after Adam shaves his hair? it’s th best he’s slept in fucking weeks.

I feel like after tht they’re a LOT more comfortable w each other - not tht they weren’t b4; I mean in th sense tht when they’re not doing too great, they’ll reach out 2 each other rather than bottling it up n dealing w it alone. Adam comes over w CDs he likes bc he can’t talk abt it but he doesn’t want 2 be by himself n they sit in Eric’s living room together in comfortable silence. sometimes Eric sings 2 him. they both find tht it helps. Eric becomes more accustomed 2 accepting help when he knows he needs it + Adam offers - dimming th lights n staying close by to keep him frm getting another migraine, having th TV on but w the sound down low enough tht it doesn’t feel like some1′s hitting him over th head w too-loud dialogue, getting things fr him on th days tht his nerve pain flares up n he’s mostly confined 2 his bed. they’re there fr each other. this is what friendship looks like fr them, two Jigsaw survivors who understand each other better than any1 else ever could.

another huge step fr them is like, th first time Adam offers 2 help w Eric’s rashes. I feel like, even as they grow closer, tht’s still not smth he’s vocal abt/comfortable showing often, something he’s ashamed of bc he feels like it’s gross n he doesn’t want 2 like. make Adam deal w that. but like during one of their sleepovers where Adam cuts his hair fr him n Eric’s got his shirt off he just. grabs the ointment he knows Eric keeps in th cabinet above the sink n while Eric’s still sitting w his back to him, he wordlessly begins tending 2 the rash spread along Eric’s shoulders n his neck n back, n Eric just. freezes. Adam doesn’t say anything, just does it fr him, n Eric kinda. Breaks Down a lil bit. like he just starts silently sobbing bc Adam doesn’t have 2 do this. he doesn’t have to help him w one of th things Eric hates most abt his own body. he could think it’s Gross. but he doesn’t think it’s gross n he doesn’t mind touching it and he’s so gentle when applying the ointment n then when he’s done he just kind of leans against Eric’s back bc He Knows. he reaches around front n grabs one of Eric’s hands n just sits there w him while he cries it out, holding his hand 2 say I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere, n that is MAJOR fr Eric. and honestly? tht’s kind of th first time he Rly becomes aware of “oh fuck I love him.” (Adam too, ngl)

basically, the way it starts is a shared experience, smth no one else can rly say they have, an understanding based on tht shared experience. giving each other space until they begin inviting each other in. care, patience, “I’m here.” re-learning th feeling of mutual concern. somewhere along th way, it turns into love, and somehow falling into tht is just as easy.

-

Eric + baking:

YES I love this hc!! this is smth he picked up during his time btwn jobs during th earlier stages of recovery (but After meeting Adam/connecting w Art) bc he needed smth to do n was just sorta like, “well I guess this works huh?” n like. it was def a learning curve bc Eric can cook, relatively well/at least okay, but baking is a entirely different matter. at frst he was kinda discouraged when things didn’t turn out th way he hoped they would, but w gentle guidance on Art’s side n enthusiastic encouragement frm Adam, he stuck w it n has gotten pretty good as a result!! his fave things 2 make r peanut butter cookies (he does a little design on th top w a fork n both Adam + Art r like Oh My God That’s Adorable) + th aforementioned carrot cake cupcakes!! frosting is usually homemade n it’s usually cream cheese! he makes his own frosting fr cakes n stuff too (Constantly has 2 tell Adam to “keep yr hands off of th frosting/batter/dough! we’re not gonna have any left!!!” even tho tht Doesn’t stop him).

he makes rly good banana bread too! tht one was a lil harder 2 learn but he’s honestly pretty proud of it now. it’s so funny bc Adam typically doesn’t like stuff like tht but if Eric made it? oh it’s Amazing. (he’s like tht w Art’s cooking too kjdfhjs partially bc he is a Disaster in th kitchen, but also bc That’s His BF/Best Friend!!!)

if some1 is feeling particularly shitty he takes requests (Adam usually wants brownies + Art is partial 2 peanut butter cookies but w chocolate chips too) n it’s just a nice lil thing he can do 2 help, which is smth he Always wants to do. he also stress bakes tho so sometimes his bfs have 2 just kinda like check in n make sure he’s doing okay. but! yeah baking is smth he enjoys + is relatively good at!!

-

William/Mallick dynamic:

yr right I haven’t thought abt this dynamic much but I Am Now!!!

I feel like at his core, William is def a caretaker. Mallick, 2 me, is someone who is just wholly unfamiliar w being cared for. so like, at the Very Least, they’re both dating Adam + Lawrence, right? they spend a lot of time around each other. plenty enough time fr William 2 pick up on this. it just kinda. makes his heart hurt, bc he sees the unease in Mallick’s eyes every time one of thm performs even th smallest acts of kindness fr him - not bc he doesn’t appreciate it/doesn’t want it, but because it’s more that he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. n William Sees That and is just like. I Need U To Know You’re Loved.

they’re comfortable w each other, of course they are! they’re friends, good friends, who happen 2 be dating th same people! who go to bed together at night n wake up w each other in th morning. it’s love, they know tht, but Mallick still always looks so surprised when William makes waffles fr him fr breakfast. William cares.

n Mallick can kinda feel it, and he’s not resistant 2 it, but he’s definitely on edge abt it a little. but William also just has this air abt him that Mallick finds it hard to stay keyed up in, so it doesn’t rly take long fr Mallick to at least be at peace w William’s attention. but the moment he starts to really fathom it is during one of those days he can’t get himself 2 relax n is just shaking out on the couch, knees drawn up to his chest n his arm wrapped around thm, just kinda staring down at th carpet n just Not having the energy to get himself out of his own head. Lawrence + Adam r at work n Eric is taking a quick nap so it’s just Mallick n William.

so Mallick is sitting there spiraling n his breaths r coming out a little fast n William just sits down beside him, a mug of warm tea tht he sets down on th coffee table fr a moment, n he just rests a hand on Mallick’s shoulder. doesn’t say anything, just sort of like. offers tht bridge, opens tht avenue. n Mallick is like This Close to just breaking entirely, but what rly does it is when William just swipes his thumb over his shoulder n squeezes. n Mallick rly DOES break down, almost ugly-sobbing and wheezing, n somehow he ends up w his face in William’s neck, pretty much curled into his side, n tht’s when it truly hits him how much William cares abt him too. tht there are Several People who hold tht kind of room fr him in their hearts n lives. William didn’t even have 2 say anything fr Mallick to understand that, to know it as truth. n tht’s like, one of th events tht actually leads Mallick to building up tht self-esteem, knowing that.

n after tht happens, Mallick is a little less reluctant abt accepting William’s (+ everyone else’s!) help, at least some of the time. like Mallick will catch himself digging his fingers a lil too harshly into th stump of his arm (I’m w u on 10 Pints resulting in at least a partial amputation - like what was tht little scar in 3D???) n then he’ll feel William’s hand cover his n gently curl around his palm 2 be like “I’m not gonna say anything, but I see you, it’s okay,” n his grip relaxes. Eric will notice he’s working himself up too much n he’ll reach out n take one of his hands while he’s pacing + laces their fingers together so tht Mallick has to pause a moment n then he’s able to breathe. Lawrence stumbles across him in th midst of a panic attack n Mallick finds himself breathing easier when Lawrence takes one of his hands, places it over his chest + his heart, n breathes w him. Adam holds him when he jolts awake frm a nightmare. lil things like tht.

one of their fave things to help them both de-stress is they’ll lay in bed n William will read out loud to Mallick, who has his head on his chest n is listening but doesn’t have to put too much energy into keeping up, bc it’s mostly abt being close + having smth to fill the silence tht neither of them feel particularly comfortable in anymore. sometimes Mallick falls asleep n it honestly makes William rly happy bc not only is Mallick relaxed enough to actually close his eyes, he also trusts William enough to fall asleep around him, trusts him during a time he’s at his most vulnerable. it’s not uncommon fr Lawrence to get home frm work to find th two of them curled up against th pillows, sometimes both asleep or just Mallick while William continues reading silently and brushes his fingers thru Mallick’s hair. Adam def has a pic of them like tht somewhere, hung up on th cork board Art had bought specifically fr those kinds of photos. it’s smth easy tht doesn’t really require much energy + has the added bonus of just being close to n held by someone u love n who loves u.

and they help each other. sometimes William has a rly hard time looking at himself, the days where his guilt sits heavy in his chest n doesn’t seem 2 want to anywhere, n Mallick will just sit w him outside on th porch swing and just Be There bc it’s like. “I’m here, I want to b here, Jigsaw was wrong, you are not a terrible person, u did what u could w what u had and I love you,” in a single action. I think William also struggles, like u’ve mentioned tht Eric does, w th guilt of what happened + feeling like it was his fault. so Mallick sitting w him, their shoulders brushing, fr William it’s like, if he was truly as awful a person as John seemed 2 think he was, wld Mallick be this close? wld Mallick willingly lay down beside him some nights n kiss him good morning? wld he kiss him again on th cheek after he makes a fresh pot of coffee + pancakes? n William knows tht Mallick wouldn’t keep himself so close if John was right, so it’s like. proof of tht. n tht means a lot to William. sometimes tht’s all he needs.

they don’t have 2 deal w their struggles alone. they’re both surrounded by ppl who love them n want to see them do well - it’s only natural they feel tht way abt each other, too.

[smol-grey-tea]

You enjoyed "Red is aropan in my daydreams and this makes me happy", you liked "Red is demiro in the game and this makes me excited", now get ready for the Threequel

"Red has ADHD and I am over the moon with joy"

V emotional- got so sad when he didn't save the Heroine!!!!

Rejection. Sensitive. Dysphoria. He got super sad when he thought the MC didn't like him :(( but it was Soi!! And Eri's an idiot!! But he wouldn't know that :( he got super sad and had an existential crisis and ran away :( sad boi hours

In Yuri's lil diary entry I can't remember if Tei falls asleep in class and Red stares out the window or if Red falls asleep and Tei stares at the window- either wayyyy

Obsesses over his concept - this could just be cuz of his issues of feeling like a failure but Lance has a similar/opposite issue and imo he seems to kinda ignore his concept, like he doesn't think abt it a lot? Feels like more of a hyperfixation for Red than anything else

As far as I remember he doesn't tend to get involved in conversations unless they're in some way related to smth he's interested in? Like when they talked abt the exams he got distracted by the cheese, and when they were abt to get out the limo once he linked it to the video games he plays and said the ppl outside was like the boss level or smth??

On that note it's easier for him to do stuff that's related to stuff he's interested in- he finds it hard to do maths and focus in lessons and revise but he finds it super easy to read the play script and act in the play. In fact I'm certain the only the reason he got interested in the drama club was cuz of the plot of the play

Stimming!!! ^^ I remember the MC once talking abt him jumping up and down and I think clapping too, and maybe laughing? I personally do a lot of The Happy Giggle Stim™- I don't remember much else to do w that tho

After they went to the shops in Lance's route I can't remember exactly if Red spent a lot but ik the total that everyone bought cost a shit ton and I wouldn't doubt Red would've had a part to play in that. Tei I think spent a lot to piss off Yuri but ADHD means you don't have ~object permanence~ so Red was ~money blind~

Never wears the uniform right. Doesn't wear the fuckin bow thingy, imagine if he did. Red in a bow. So cute.

Probably wears the same outfit all the time w/o prompts from others - I'm literally wearing the same rainbow dress I do all the time and generally only change if it's in the wash or for school etc. This could be a thing that the dolls do anyway but Red was the one who said their original outfits were the most comf sooo

Issues w boundaries esp w the MC. Kinda forced her to join the play even if she didn't want to and made her run to school w/o even a warning and even tho she didn't want to

Issues w controlling volume. He a loud boi

Forgets words/says words weird. I do this all the time. 'Babbler ghost' lmao

Sometimes doesn't understand jokes or sarcasm and often misunderstands/miscommunicates

Doesn't understand social 'rules': randomly starts throwing bread to help the dinner lady; I mentioned this in the last one but he didn't understand the girl who gave him the chocolate had a crush on him; doesn't consider that he shouldn't hang around with the MC all the time cuz it draws attention to her and doesn't seem to understand that That's Bad™; he isn't usually polite- "HEROINE GIMME FOOD :)" lmao <- also says stuff w/o context, I think he started calling her Heroine before he even explained it to her

Overthinks things. Heroine likes Tei -> Heroine doesn't like me -> Heroine ditched me -> Heroine hates me -> No one likes me -> Everyone hates me and Tei and Yeonho only pretend to like me out of pity -> They want to get rid of me -> I should run away. At least that's how I assume it went down-

I completely believe that ADHD would be slightly more understood if it was instead called Dopamine Deficiency Disorder but I won't deny, Red rlly does put the Hyperactivity into Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Again, because I said so, and he makes me very happy :)

[dissapearing-act-done-poorly]

Food log

14:00 (232kcal):

1 thick slice gluten free bread (50g) - 122kcal

Fresh farm cheese (150g) - 108kcal (this shit slaps - it's low cal high protein and packed with calcium and vitamin A plus it tastes bomb)

Filter coffee - 2kcal

16:00 (72kcal):

Green apple - 72kcal

19:00 (306kcal):

Chicken breast - 164kcal

Sweet potato - 112kcal

Broccoli - 30kcal

23:00 (72kcal):

Green apple- 72kcal (I didn't rlly need it i just wanted it which is kinda bad I guess but whatever)

Total: 682kcal

Water: 3L

Did absolutely jack shit today. Oh well.

[creepypastaheadcannonsxd]

/\ This is rlly sad and a bit gorey so be warned /\\

Helen waited at the door for Jack to come home to their small house over the hill. The house was made of oak wood, hand crafted and carved into furniture and doors. They didn't have much else, and this was only their first night. There was just a roof of wood over their head and some around them to shield off the cold night air, but it still got through and made Helen shiver.

The moon shined through the poorly put together roof, only holding on by the edges and some rope made of cloth. This had taken all day, and they weren't even close to done. They wanted a normal life, but with their appearances, blood on their hands, and bad memories and taste buds wouldn't allow thay anytime soon.

Helen listened carefully to the heavy footsteps stomping up to the door, hearing Jack's heavy hushed voice whisper, "I'm back, hun." With that Helen swung open the door to his beloved and helped him drag two dusty bags and around three tree logs.

"Did it go well?" Helen asked quickly, not noticing Jack's cold stare at his chest. A quiet growl came from Jack's throat as he dropped the logs next to the wall, the logs almost blending in together exept for the black tar that stuck to them.

"Just fine." He answered, and started biting into his own lip and sucking up the blood that came from it. Helen didn't seem to notice as he pulled out his lighter and started huddling rocks in a circular area.

"Hand me a few branches, will you?"

"Yeah." Jack bent down and tugged off small branches from the wood he gathered, and chucked it in the middle of the rocks along with some dry grass. His body was shaking, but it wasn't from the cold. He knew he wouldn't last the night, and if he did he didn't want to know how. His stomach grumbled almost on cue, as it has been for soon to come a whole day.

Helen pulled out his lighter and let the small flame consume the offering in the stones. "You did get yourself something to eat, right?" He asked as he dug through the small bags that only contained stolen breads and cheese.

"No.." The cannibal responded softly and waited for his boyfriend to lash out in anger at him. Which, he knew would happen just as it did.

"You little- Ugh. I hate you sometimes. I'm going to go get you food." The skilled artist hissed at his boyfriend with such fury that Jack could have sworn the house shook.

So Jack stayed put. He supposedly had fallen asleep, becuase when he woke up the sun was shining on his face giving him a warm feeling. He definetely loved mornings, the soft but cool breeze along with the warm sun shining on him. He stomped away the tiny flames in their fire place that were threatening to spark on the ash. Then he got to work, and started pushing the logs he collected together and tied them up with more makeshift rope.

By the time it was noon, Jack wondered why Helen hadn't returned. He didn't bother searching, since Helen made the rule that if someone goes out the other stays put. He continued working, and started tumbling down to the ground. It seemed that his legs were shaking too much for him to move them, so he just lay there. Everything hurt was the last thing he remembered, until he woke up face to face with Helen.

Tears were flooding down Helen's face, and his eyes were shut tight as he wailed in pain when Jack attempted to move his hand. He realized he had a tough grip on something squishy, and his mouth tasted like metal and blood. Jack let go, frightened, but Helen just shrieked again with no decency.

"I love you," Jack made out Helen's cracking and shaky tone. "Please.. don't leave me." Jack shook his head, too horrified to say anything. "I'll see you in hell, my demon." Was the last thing Jack would hear from Helen's soft voice as his heartbeat faded into silence.

[mrs-entwistle]

1-59

1. Selfie?

2. What would you name your future kids?If Stephen and I have a girl in the future, we plan to name her Emily, but as for boy names, we actually haven’t thought about it!

3. Do you miss anyone?Gotta admit, yeah. A person or two.

4. What are you looking forward to?The weekend, my packages coming in the mail, and Stephen and I’s one year anniversary! :’)

5. Is there anyone who can always make you smile?Yeah, Stephen for sure 😊

6. Is it hard for you to get over someone?It always has been for me, yes, regardless of the situation.

7. What was your life like last year?Absolute shit, I’ve got to be honest. Last year was one of the worst years ever. I’m just glad that 2017 made up for it tenfold :’)

8. Have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?I do that at least twice a week, ima be honest, lmao.

9. Who did you last see in person?Stephen and his brother.

10. Are you good at hiding your feelings?No, not at all lmao I’m pretty bad at it tbh 😅

11. Are you listening to music right now?Nah, I’m listening to my bf and his brother playing video games.

12. What is something you want right now?For my packages to arrive in the mail!!!!!!

13. How do you feel right now?Sleepy and content 😌

14. When was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?Hmm, about an hour ago?

15. Personality description?Bubbly, moody, giggly, always saying or doing something silly and dumb for laughs, unique and one of a kind, very open mindset, shy at times given the situation but loves to make friends and make people happy, very competitive, has times of high confidence and very low insecurities, loves to love and be loved.

16. Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?Of course.

17. Opinion on insecurities.Everyone has ‘em! They suck a lot but you just gotta try to move past them.

18. Do you miss how thing were a year ago?NO FUCKING WAY lmao

19. Have you ever been to New York?Not yet! I’ve always wanted to go, though. Stephen and I might go next year around the summertime if we have the money.

20. What is your favorite song at the moment?Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen

21. Age and birthday?22; November 2nd

22. Description of crush.You mean my boyfriend? Lmao well he’s about 5’3”, has long, curly, dirty blonde hair, big beautiful blue eyes with super long eyelashes, a precious pointy lil nose that I love to plant kisses on, and the fullest most softest lips ever. He has the biggest heart I’ve ever seen and is incredibly smart. Stephen is so bright and kind and sentimental and he brings a million smiles to my face every day. He’s a goofy goober and a wonderful musician and an even better boyfriend, and I’m so gosh dang lucky to have him in my life!!! I don’t know where I would be without him :’) ❤️

23. Fear(s)? Insects, heights, and the possibility of all of my insecurities coming true.

24. Height? About 5’2” or 5’3”.

25. Role model? I don’t know if I have any actual role models but I rlly look up to Zendaya and Lady Gaga, and because they’re such wonderful people!!!

26. Idol(s)? Basically every musician I listen to from the ‘70s lmaooo

27. Things I hate?Being interrupted, being ignored, feeling insecure about my weight, having nothing to do/not being active enough, bad mental health days, when people assume things about me, rubbing my hands on certain materials/seeing other people do that, pulling on strands of hair until it squeaks omgjskshk that’s the WORST thing, and not feeling important/good enough.28. I’ll love you if…You respect me! All I ask for is respect and understanding!

29. Favorite film(s)? Spirited Away, Edward Scissorhands, and Girl Interrupted are my top 3 👌🏼

30. Favorite tv show(s)?Stranger Things, That 70s Show, Roswell, Always Sunny, Dawson’s Creek, and Degrassi are some of my faves!!!

31. 3 random facts?I can’t swim, I have a permanent baby tooth that will never grow into an adult tooth, and I cannot stand watermelon/watermelon flavored/scented things.

32. Are your friends mainly girls or guys? I don’t actually really have any friends… :/ I have a lot of acquaintances and “kind of” friends, but idk I guess I would typically say guys.

33. Something you want to learn?How to swim and how to drive!!!

34. Most embarrassing moment?Oh god, I have those nearly every day lmao there’s no way I could pick 🙈

35. Favorite subject?English.

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?Getting a place of my own with my love, traveling the world, and publishing my own book.

37. Favorite actor/actress?Winona Ryder 😻

38. Favorite comedian(s)?Robin Williams, Ellen DeGeneres, Ben Stiller, etc

39. Favorite sport(s)?Basketball and tennis

40. Favorite memory?When Stephen and I first met irl ☺️💕

41. Relationship status?In a serious relationship ⭐️

42. Favorite book(s)?I don’t really read much anymore honestly, which kind of sucks :(

43. Favorite song ever?That is a loaded question!!!

44. Age you get mistaken for?The youngest is probably 16 lmao

45. How you found out about your idol?Like I said above, all my idols are mostly musicians from the ‘70s so I have to say I found out about them mostly because my mom always played their music while I was growing up! Then as I got older I began to delve deeper into their musical catalogues 🎶

46. What my last text message says? “OK I LOVE U BB”

47. Turn ons?I don’t feel it necessary to answer this because I’m in a relationship

48. Turn offs?Rudeness, disrespect, inconsideration, disloyalty, etc49. Where I want to be right now?Nowhere, I’m right where I want to be.

50. Favorite picture of your idol? *insert literally any photo of John Entwistle here*

51. Star sign?Scorpio!

52. Something i’m talented at?Making art.

53. 5 things that make me happy?Stephen, video games, cats, antique stores, and cotton candy!

54. Something that’s worrying me at the moment?Nothing, really! :o

55. Tumblr friends?They know who they are 😌

56. Favorite food(s)?Anything having to do with chicken, potatoes, mac n cheese, pasta in general, and garlic bread!!!

57. Favorite animal(s)?Cats and bats!!!

58. Description of my best friend? Refer to question #22 !!!

59. Why I joined tumblr?I joined in the summer of 2012 back when I was going through a lot, mentally and physically, and I had no friends because I was house-bound because of an illness. I came across Tumblr while looking for photos of The Beatles (I used to be a HUGE Beatles fan lmao) and decided to join in hopes I could make some friends who liked the same things as I did without leaving my house. It worked, so here I am! Lmao. Lots has happened to this blog/me over the years I’ve been on here. It’s pretty wild! I’ve met a lot of people, and lost a lot of people as we had falling outs or as they simply deleted their blogs. I’ll probably be here forever, just posting my aesthetic ‘70s shit, haha!

Thanks so much!!! 🌸🌷⭐️

[sambashua]

8 questions tag~

I was tagged by the lovely lin aka @aceshua ! thank you friend!! your questions were so fun to answer~~

I’m soooo uncreative and suck at questions so I spent the majority of this time trying to come up w those sigh... it’s fine i did my best

I’m going to tag @atshinee (once you’re done w your test tho !) @strawberryboo @yooncheoly @everyonesabiaswrecker @king-hao @s-lay-ing @papadoyoung (idek which tf blog to tag for you) @amessence and @kylamassie1 you guys can do this if you want(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

lin’s questions(✿◠‿◠)

1. If you could have one member’s hairstyle on your own head for a day, who’s would it be and from what era? (this can be svt or not) oh dangg this is a good question ahhhh i’d probably sayyyyy either peach shua (bc ofc) or jeonghan’s pretty u era hair bc i want to try having short hair rlly bad ? but also i’m worried it would look trash soooo (o i just realized this could be any group ah i wanna try sinb’s fingertip hair it was so cute ahhhh also every single one of joy’s hairstyles has been the best thing since sliced bread so yeah~ shoot also rosé’s hair... i just want to try it all man)

2. What’s your go-to snack food? i really like nuts or dried mango or banana chips!! but i mean i’ll eat any snack food tbh i’m a snack ho (why am i like this)

3. If you can only have one piece of Bongbong merch– out of all of the boy’s bongbong drawings, fan made pillows/hats/plushies of various bongbongs, OG gyu bongbongies– what Piece of Bongbong would you want in your room forever and why? uMMMM i’m such a basic ho but probably og bongbongie just bc when i first saw him i was so touched bc gyu is just so soft:(((( ilh nd i wanna put bongbongie in my living room~~

4. You dress up as a piece of food for halloween. What article of food are you? THIS IS SO GOOD i’d probably be cheese bc i love cheese or a strawberry!! or a yellow fruit bc i’m blonde... i’m giving so many options for all these questions i jUST HAVE A LOT TO SAY I’M SORRY

5. You get to give your bias a present but it has to be hand made by You. What do you give them? AW THIS IS SO CUTE BYE (i’m just gonna assume we’re dating bc duh we already are but yes to clarify) i would probably make a scrapbook w little pictures and leave little notes of why i love him and maybe even little poems or smth even softer~ aND I’D INCLUDE PICS OF HIS FAVORITE PLACES AND IT COULD BE LIKE OUR HOUSE OR A PARK WE ALWAYS GO TO TO READ AND I WOULD HAVE JUST PICTURES I’VE TAKEN RANDOMLY OF HIM WHEN I JUST FEEL LIKE IT AND AT THAT POINT HE WOULD BE SO USED TO ME TAKING PICS OF HIM BC HE KNOWS I’M A PHOTOGRAPHY HO SO THEY’D ALL BE CANDID AND HE WOULD BE SO SOFT AND NOW I’M CRYING WHAT WAS I TALKING ABT IDK I LOVE JEON WONWOO

6. Favorite non-MV video of svt? ohhohooho this is so dang difficult... but i thinkkkk their vlive where they were celebrating the end of VERY NICE promotions and they had the barbecue for so so so many reasons man

7. Do you have the names of your future pets planned out? If so, what are they? hMMMM i rlly want to have pets w like... names of household items or foods... like smth dumb like ottoman or pancakes... wtf am i talking abt anymore afhkjad

8. What’s the stupidest thing you did/that’s happened to you this week? (I’ll start- the other day i woke up and my laptop was in my fridge…I don’t remember doing this. why) um literally a couple hours ago sister and i went through the cain’s drivethru and the man on the speaker said “cluck cluck chicken chicken which combo are you pickin’? welcome to cain’s i’m ____” and i literally died EVEN THO THEY SAY SMTH LIKE THAT EVERY TIME I ALWAYS LAUGH FOR A GOOD MINUTE BEFORE I CAN ORDER but my sister was driving and she only recently got her license so she was pulling up to the window and kept inching forward rlly jerkily and i was dying laughing and the window boy was like “are you guys alright haha” and i was like kill me then i triED TO HAND SISTER MY CREDIT CARD AND WE DROPPED IT AND STARTED LAUGHING AGAIN AND HE WAS LIKE “ARE YOU GUYS STRUGGLING” AND I WAS DEDDDD but we gave him a good laugh so hopefully it made his night a bit more entertaining we’re always so dumb omg

mir’s questions(✿◠‿◠)

1. what’s your favorite bridge in a song? (i know this is so difficult but i thought narrowing it to the bridge might help?? but back 2 u’s is honestly so good)

2. how many spoons can you balance on your face? (photo evidence is optional)

3. the ingredients you would put in your ideal smoothie are....

4. what was the defining moment that made your ult bias your bias?

5. would you change your eye color if you could? if so what color? (it can be natural or not have fun w it lol)

6. what are your favorite physical and personality traits of your top bias(es)? (alternatively just your fave picture of our bias if you can’t pick actually just include your fave picture bc why not)

7. do you have a go-to video to make you laugh/cheer you up?

8. end w your favorite quote/emoji/emoticon(ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

[commanderastra]

non exieris/ never surrender

hi! this is the first chapter i’ve written and i hope you enjoy. i’m actually rlly happy w this. okay thank you for reading, please leave your thoughts!

chapter two:

 https://commanderastra.tumblr.com/post/159930460472/non-exieris-never-surrender

read on a03; http://archiveofourown.org/works/10593156

CHAPTER ONE

----------------------

once upon a time, destruction was met with creation. life was about more than just surviving.

once upon a time, an angel and a devil fell deeply into a love that seemed to be destined; and it was. but it was chaos, there was a mean angel and a sweet devil.

it was as if the moon and the darkness fell in love, neither were meant for eachother, and maybe destiny was wrong.

lexa, this was the devil's name. lexa.

lexa was a sweet devil, eyes so green they held the keys to the universe locked inside of them. they looked like the inside of a deep green forest, but sometimes, the forest was on fire. and you could see it in her eyes.

she was manipulative and seductive, using people's weaknesses for her own profit. it's what i do to survive, she always said. i'm lexa, i'm a survivor.

then there was the angel. you. sweet and pure but with an unholy mind. lips as dirty as a sinner but the rest of you cleansed and holy. eyes deep and held the stars in them.

when you first saw her, the devil, you couldn't help but stare. your first instinct was to go over and do something, but you stayed in your place.

besides, an angel and a devil are not suppose to fall in love. it is practically in the laws of the universe, but it seems as if the universe went and broke all of its laws just to bring you two together.

you were at a meeting, the purest of the angels and the most destructive of the demons came together in order to discuss terms.

it had been going on for years, the hatred and the madness at eachother's people. no one was sure why anymore, but all they knew was that it was wrong. evil and pure did not mix.

you saw her staring at you, the demon. you wanted to know her name. you met eyes and the beyond seemed to stop. time didn't exist in this realm but everything seemed to freeze.

her lips. they were red and dark and you wanted to touch and feel them, and if any of the other angels could hear your thoughts you'd be banished in an instant.

her hair was long and dark, her skin warm toned and matched olive oil.

her face broke into a smirk as she began eating some of the food placed on the table, continuing her eye contact with you.

your fingers began to tingle and there was something not right. you have obviously loved before but there was just something about her, something not right.

your mother pulled your arm causing you to stop your eye contact.

"y/n, this will either end in flames or we all walk out peacefully. we are trying to make peace today, the devils and us have agreed. but not all of the ten demons and ten angels may agree. i want you to leave if things start getting ruff."

you nodded. you couldn't die, but you could feel pain.

you sat down and continue to sneak glances at the girl in front of you.

the meeting continued for awhile before screaming broke out.

"peace is not the way of our people. if your people injure ours we have complete right to hit back. if you do not hit first, neither will we."

one of your closest guardians, rose, spoke up.

"i do not agree to this. you are dirty, evil sinners, and you will hit us until we are down. you will take out power."

you sighed and looked around. when was this going to end? you ate some bread and cheese and rolled your eyes.

the hairs on your neck stood up and you looked up. the devil was looking at you again.

before you knew it, yelling happened once more between both sides and the devil was grabbing your arm and pulling you out of the room.

she let go when you exited into the palace. this divided the land of the demons and angels.

"lexa."

she held out her arm and slightly nodded for you to take it.

"y/n," you said as your grabbed her arm. you wanted to hold her there forever.

"why did you drag me out? aren't you suppose to be selfish and for yourself?"

her dimple near her mouth came out and she smirked again, leaning in close. you were able to feel her hot breath on your mouth, and you had never experienced lust before. that day you learned a new sin.

"not for everyone. today i decided, not for you. too beautiful to be burned up."

you couldn’t help but stare at her eyes, the green was something you had never seen before. a combination of the galaxy that you had only seen once, and a deep forest.

your eyes traveled down to her lips and they were so red, like cherries, and you wanted to taste.

you knew this was wrong, she was seductive and simply bad. she was chaotic and messy.

but she was beautiful. you had to question whether you were looking at the goddesses or her. she was alluring.

she pulled you in like a siren, singing sweet melodies through wicked lips. you knew you were already setting yourself to fall, but you would fall through time for her. lexa.

“do you like what you’re seeing?” she joked, licking her sinful lips and looking at you with those damn forest eyes.

“yes,” you had whispered before realizing you had said it. you didn’t regret it.

her face held obvious shock before returning to it’s normal smirk, but in that split second, you noticed fear.

“y/n,” she had bit her lip while staring at yours, “let’s leave. i’d like to introduce you to ecstasy, ai hodnes.”

you were not sure what that meant, the language of the demons is much different from the language of the angels, but you’d like to find out.