#i want a sub emo rn

[97buckley]

i want an emo boyfriend so he can cry his black eyeliner off while i fuck him

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

Triage: Initial Thoughts

Hello! Venus back at it again with the 4-5 AM theory time! This time we’re looking at Shidou’s second MV, Triage! 

I’m going to be going through my various thoughts on everything as usual, going point by point to analyze each thing. I’ll be referencing Triage, his first MV Throwdown, and the always-fast audio drama translation by @onigiriico​! 

Alright, let’s do this!

Shidou’s kids died immediately, but his wife had a chance to live.

I’m basically just going to give a quick play by play of what I think happened in the video.

Surprise, Shidou has kids! And a wife, but we figured that already. They’re all very cute and all until they fade out like ghosts pretty early on. Before that happens, though, I think that, chronologically, the opening sequence of Shidou walking with some groceries happens first.

He’s just going about his day, walking around, having a great time. He’s intending to take stuff back to his family and cook dinner or whatever he usually does that we see in the cute scenes.

Then, though, he gets a phone call. He answers it (this is the untranslated “Kirisaki desu” part; please let us know if you find a full translation of what he says on the call there!) and we move on to the next scene. However, later, at 1:57, we hear the line die. I think that this is probably Shidou getting a phone call from the hospital. He sounds casual in his initial response because he probably assumes it’s work related, but once he hears what happened, he drops the line and immediately heads over.

I think Shidou’s kids must have died immediately because of Throwdown. Throwdown has absolutely no references to his kids (though he does mention liking children and stuff like that in his first audio drama, which now kinda stings) and, were he also trying to save them, I’m sure there would’ve been at least some references. 

I think it’s far more likely that, whatever happened, both his kids died immediately, but his wife was in a condition where he could still try to save her. That’s when Throwdown occurs. Shidou probably focused intensely on trying to save his wife as a way to cope with the death of his children. Then, after his wife officially died, it really hit him that he had nothing left, and he was forced to process it. That’s when he started feeling all the guilt and wishing for death. 

This isn’t really relevant, but my best bet is a car crash. It seems like a likely and viable way that his kids could’ve died instantly while the wife could’ve kept living. As a minor note on that, he’s also walking back with groceries, which could indicate that someone else (the rest of his family) might’ve had a car. I don’t remember if Shidou mentions anything about driving or anything like that at any time, but if I had to call a method of death right now, that’s what I’d go for.

NOTE: I do want to disclaim this by saying it’s also possible that one of his kids was the flower person in Throwdown. He gives a receipt to one of his kids, so that could make some sense. I need to go back and compare the flower person in Throwdown with the people in Shidou’s family now that they have appearances. I also need to reread his first audio drama; he says something about it being fitting that Es is judging him, which could check out if his crime relates to trying to save his kid instead. If I am wrong and it was one of his kids that he was trying to save, then everything about what I’m saying still checks out; just swap everything I say about his wife with one of the kids.

Shidou purposefully showed us the least forgivable parts of his crime in Throwdown.

Looking back on it, Shidou painted himself in an awful light in Throwdown, and I’m sure it was intentional. After all, he was trying to get us to give him a guilty verdict. If you say that a prisoner like Muu might have been altering what part of her story we received in order to get her desired verdict in the first round (innocent), Shidou could absolutely do the same thing with a guilty verdict.

He doesn’t show us any of the context of his loved ones and how much he loved them; that was all stuff we had to read between the lines of. We see him butchering plant after plant only to end in horrific failure without ever seeing him succeed at anything surgical. (He still should’ve hypothetically been saving lives while doing all of this; it’s not like he was ONLY killing people.) 

He even shows us the horrified reactions of the loved ones of patients he killed. I can only imagine that he would do that if he was trying to spark a negative reaction in us.

In contrast, this MV is very straightforwardly showing how the day he lost his family went for Shidou and directly examines what verdict Shidou wants (more on this later). I think, therefore, that this is probably a much more honest view of the situation than Throwdown, at least in terms of how Shidou perceives the truth. 

Shidou is constantly plagued by the guilt of what happened.

The simplest way to explain this is with this image: 

When showing Shidou’s family turning to ghosts, he views the man that he used to be as dying with them. Shidou, as he was, is dead. Still, what happened clearly still impacts him. That’s pretty obvious, but I’m talking down to the details. He mentions kids and liking them in both of his audio dramas. Further, take this lovely image: 

Pancakes. Shidou made pancakes for his kids. In BOTH Minigrams 3 (Pancake) and 24 (Pancake: a Second Trial) Shidou is directly shown talking about pancakes and their relation to children. He really wants Amane, the young child, to try some. It seems like he used to make pancakes for his kids before they died. He’s very clearly not recovered in any sense. That’s not surprising, but it’s still something to point out.

Triage takes place almost entirely before and after Throwdown.

That sounds a little confusing, but all I mean is that Throwdown is completely isolated from this MV. Some parts of this MV happen before the events of Throwdown; those are the ones featuring Shidou’s wife and kids, as well as the ones where he simply looks younger. The other parts are clearly looking back at the same time frame, but are from Shidou’s present perspective, here in Milgram. Those are the ones where he reflects on his verdict or directly addresses what verdict he wants.

Most directly, I think the part at 2:14 indicates this. Shidou, looking back on the death he caused (knives in the pomegranates and other food, dead flowers, receipts from the surgeries that we also saw in Throwdown), says “I want to be INNOCENT / I want to live.” That’s him, in the Milgram prison, right now, coming to terms with the fact that he actually, genuinely wants to live right now.

In the audio drama, he’s clearly conflicted. He still says that he wants to die, that he wants to atone for his sins and that dying is the only way he can make it up to the people he killed. He also, though, says that, at least for right now, he wants to live. Futa and especially Mahiru are on death’s door, and there’s no telling what other injury might occur. He believes he’s essential to saving lives within the Milgram prison (and I think he’s 100% right).

He even directly references this in the song lyrics, talking about “extracting the fang.” The fang is clearly Kotoko, given that Milgram has referred to the damage Kotoko does with fang imagery before and given that that’s what he’s currently healing. He has to be the one to save them because he’s the only one who can; as a result, to save lives, he has to care about his life right now. While he’s still unsure of what final verdict he wants, he knows that he needs to stay alive, at least going into trial 3.

VOTE: INNOCENT

Personally, this one’s a no-brainer. Es theorizes in the audio drama that Shidou only harvested organs from braindead patients, and though he never outright confirms it, based on his responses, it seems to me like that’s true. That means his crime isn’t as severe as we initially thought it was.

Additionally, he’s right; he is indispensable to us right now. He outright says in the audio drama that if he stops giving Mahiru care, she’ll die, whether or not anything else happens to her. That basically tells us that voting Shidou guilty means Mahiru dies. That’s not good, and I’d rather avoid prisoner death when we think it’s possible.

I also just don’t think it’s smart to change verdicts on him here. If we decide that, after all is said and done, we can’t forgive Shidou, we should do that with the third verdict. Here, we want to leave both options open. Right now, Shidou is torn between wanting to live and wanting to die. If we switch to guilty, we’ll ruin any chance he has at recovering a will to live and a will to atone through any means other than death. If we want to preserve the option of forgiving him in the end, I think we have to forgive him here. We can debate whether his actions were forgivable or not in the last round.

[koqabear]

Hiii congrats on 2k sol obsessed with everything you write!!!!💓 Could I request revisiting emo boy? Like what their relationship is like after and dates and how sex is like? Maybe beomgyu’s band really blows up and he’s quite busy, how does oc respond to this? And with smut? Tysm!!💝

playlist // beomgyu's encore outfit hehe // cont. of hey emo boy!

 “The day of your one-year anniversary with Beomgyu was expected to be spent away from each other— but not if either of you can help it, far too in love to let anything get in the way of you two.”

bassist!beomgyu x fem!reader // wc: 6.6K (everyone stfu rn) // genre: band au, opposites attract trope, established relationship, smut, tooth rotting fluff tbh, MDNI.

warnings: they are in love and it’s fucking GROSS!! barely edited, the two have hella piercings hehe (bg: snake bites, tongue, eyebrow // mc: smiley & nipple piercings) pet names (sweet thing, pretty, etc.) use of the L word bc they are literally obsessed w/ each other.

smut warnings: hard dom! gyu, sub!mc, needy sex sorry 😖, marking, manhandling, dry humping, biting, breast play, possessiveness, unprotected sex, bg picks the mc up, scratching, dacryphilia, dumbification, a lot of kissing lol, degrading, slight praise, fingering, creampie, cum eating…? lmk if i should add anything !

Notes: happy (late) birthday to the fic that’s probably my peak… this story single handedly changed the course of my blog me thinks. thank you to everyone who was just as affected by emo gyu as i was. 

Being in a committed relationship with Choi Beomgyu, bassist of Tomorrow x Together and an absolute unattainable heartthrob, was not very easy. 

It was at first; with their blossoming career, it was more about the music than their looks. Fans were loyal simply because they liked their sound, their message, the way their concerts were filled with such energy and passion it left their hearts beating with adrenaline after— but of course, it’s hard to not notice the absolute eye candy on stage; low-lidded gazes, dark stage lights that barely highlighted their stunning features, and clothing that was just as alluring and flattering as the rest of them; inevitably, their popularity sky-rocketed, for better and for worse. 

Beomgyu was left with more money than he knew what to do with. Most of the time, it was used to spoil you, his pretty girlfriend he brought with him everywhere because he was just too obsessed with you— it made his band members wonder if he simply had attachment issues by how much his world revolved around you. But no, you were just as bad as him; present during rehearsals, always in the studio to cheer them on or give them a second opinion on a new song; it wasn’t long before you ended up befriending the rest of them as well, a tight bond forming simply because of all the things you went through together. 

As unfortunate as it was, they weren’t the only ones forced to bear with negative and hateful encounters from the public; while they had their experiences of being mistreated early in their career, you had to deal with immature or creepy fans that had taken a liking to harass you— inboxes on all social media platforms flooded constantly, your number even leaked once as you were forced to buy a new phone all together from how badly you were being spammed— Beomgyu had been quick to lash out and tell them to leave you alone if they didn’t want a lawsuit on their hands. 

Overtime, they adjusted to their popularity. Schedules slowly became filled to the brim, their dream now a reality as they spent months on tour— and while you were more than happy and proud of them and their flourishing career, it’d be a lie to say it was all one happy and perfect life. 

You hadn’t seen Beomgyu in ages— decades, centuries, eons— in other words, two weeks. 

The band had more interviews and performances than you could keep up with; if they weren’t on some random talk show, they were at a photoshoot, getting interviewed for the next issue of a magazine you’d undoubtedly have on your coffee table the day it came out. Promotions, nights at the studio, it all added up— and before you knew it, your one year anniversary began to creep up, and all hopes to celebrate it properly dwindled down in your heart— but, having him here with you today was enough. 

You didn’t blame Beomgyu; you weren’t angry or upset, because it was simply something neither of you could control. And though it did suck knowing you wouldn’t be able to spend such a meaningful day together, it felt a little better to know that you weren’t the only one hung up on it. 

On the contrary— you think Beomgyu might be handling this worse than you. 

“Baby, baby please,” he cries, refusing to let go of you and cuddling closer to you instead, a mess of tangled limbs and blankets as he cups your face fondly, “pleaaase I know you said I shouldn’t feel bad but please come on tour with us this week, I think I’ll seriously die if you’re not here this time.”

“Gyu, baby, I really shouldn’t—” you say quietly, only to get cut off by his excessive whining and teary eyes. His bottom lip is jutted out in a ridiculous pout, squeezing your cheeks and holding back a smile at the way your lips puff out as a result; you attempt to push him off you, only for him to retaliate by rolling entirely on top of you, a loud squeal escaping you at the feeling of his weight pressing you into the mattress, his stupid face hovering over yours as he continues to plead you quietly. 

“Pleaaseee?” he whines, pressing his flat palms against your cheeks and getting your lips to puff out again; he ignores your half-hearted protests for him to get the fuck off, choosing to punctuate his every word with a kiss instead, his piercings a sharp contrast to his plump lips that crash against you with every word. 

“Please?” kiss. “Won’t you,” kiss. “come with us?” another kiss. 

“Please. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease—” 

He’s practically suffocating you at this point, refusing to pull away and mumbling the words against your lips, laughs breaking between the two of you as you yell at him to get off, that you can barely breathe with him on top of you; you’re pushing at his shoulders weakly as he continues to tease you, your unabashed laugh contagious as he quickly finds himself smiling as well— he only pulls away once he hears you yell a loud fuck, okay! Hovering over you with bright eyes and a wide grin. 

His arms snake around your waist before he’s rolling over, successfully switching so that you’re the one on top of him— he ignores the loud and exaggerated sigh of relief you let out. 

“It won’t make much of a difference though,” you say quietly, hiding in the crook of his neck as you confess your doubts, “You’ll be too busy and exhausted the whole day, I really don’t want me to be added to your list of concerns.”

You went on tour with him, once— but you learned it was better off to not be anywhere backstage with him during those times, the boy too concerned and constantly doting on you to remain focused; any mistakes he made hitting much harder, a subconscious pressure to be perfect and give his all only trifolded by your presence.

“What? No,” he says immediately, sitting back on his elbows and causing you to look up at him in response; his brows are furrowed and he seems a bit baffled by your comment, shaking his head adamantly to emphasize his point, “I like having you there. I know you like being there, I want you there— I wouldn’t be asking you to come with me if I thought you were a burden.”

He managed to pull out the exact words you were trying to skirt around— your face heats up at his reassurance, much too intimidated by the intensity of his gaze as you bury your face into his chest instead; his chest bounces from the laugh he lets out, flopping onto his back once more and hugging you close, bodies pressed flush against each other and one of his legs thrown around your waist in a childish attempt to pull you even closer. 

“Plus, don’t you wanna visit Europe with me?” he asks, a teasing lilt to his voice as he feels you nod shyly; he knows just how much you enjoy the travel aspect to his career, constantly asking for pictures or to facetime while he’s gone, “I wanna show you all my favorite spots this time, and not through some glitchy facetime— I wanna spend time with you, sweet thing.”

“Ugh, shut up,” you groan, hitting his chest weakly as he simply laughs at you softly, “you’re so corny.”

“You love it,” he coos, rubbing a soothing hand up and down your back, biting back a smile at the way he can feel your breath even out— you remain silent. Partly because you’re falling asleep from his touch, and partly because he’s right. 

⤬⤬⤬ 

Europe is breathtaking— you’ve never been so grateful for Beomgyu’s stubborn, persistent mind. 

The tour has gone as perfect as always, spending a few days at their shows before you simply resigned to stay at the hotel instead; after seeing that Beomgyu was so distracted trying to look for you during a show that he missed his cue (and played the notes wrong to another song) you found it better to wait for him and see him after instead— ready to help him wind down and relax after another energetic, adrenaline-inducing show. 

Most nights consisted of you practically carrying him to the bathtub; cooing soft reassurance as he whined about how tired and sore he felt, shampooing his hair, massaging his scalp and tense shoulders— most of the time, he’d fall asleep then and there, and it’d be another hassle to wake him up and get him out. You’d lure him out of the tub and wait for him to change into your matching pajamas— hello kitty ones, his idea, not yours—  and greet him in the bed with a warm embrace and lips that peppered kisses all over his face.

It was during these moments you found humor in the contrast of his stage persona to his true self; from his usual attire, chokers and ripped clothes, wardrobe consisting of black and multiple piercings that decorated his ears and face, your thumb brushing over his newest eyebrow piercing fondly— versus the man that slept soundly in your arms now, long hair tied back and cute pink barrettes clipping back his bangs, donned in hot pink fuzzy pajamas— and you’re sure that if his band members saw him like this, they’d never stop teasing him. 

You didn’t have to wait long to confirm that thought; Beomgyu didn’t bother changing as he met up with the others in Yeonjun’s room for breakfast the next morning, tugging you along and remaining unfazed at the way his band members burst out laughing the moment he entered the room— you felt a bit bad at the way you found yourself laughing as well, even more so because you’re the only reason he’s found himself dressed like this. (But again, he was the one who bought these clothes in the first place.)

“Happy anniversary, you two,” Yeonjun muses, smiling at the way you’re the only one who seems to process that, chirping out a cheery thank you! as you proceed to drag Beomgyu to the couch, “I feel bad that we have a concert today, ___. As vomit-inducing as it is seeing you two, you do deserve to spend the day together.”

“It’s okay,” you immediately say, brushing his teasing comment off and holding back a smile at the way Beomgyu is still struggling to gain consciousness, more tired than you thought as he simply stares at his waffles for a moment before finally digging in, “at least he’s spending the day doing something he loves.”

“Gross,” Hueningkai says, scrunching his nose playfully before laughing at the glare you send him, “you two are so mushy, it’s painful.”

The rest of the day leading up to the concert is spent peacefully; once Beomgyu has gained enough coherence to fight back against the member’s jabs, he’s pulling you away to show you new sights and stores he discovered from his previous visits, spoiling you beyond belief and buying anything you look at for a second too long; you end up with more bags than you know what to do with, and Beomgyu refuses to let you carry a single one as he proceeds to take you one of his go-to restaurants, as he told you; saying he’s been wanting to bring you here since the moment he found it, smiling brightly when he sees you enjoying the food as much as he did.

To say he’s reluctant to leave you to go to the concert venue is an understatement; you think he might start crying at any given moment as he stares at you with shining eyes, unable to let go of your hand as he stands by the door of the hotel room— not quite ready to leave yet, but knowing that he must eventually as he chooses to bring you in for another slow, loving kiss instead. 

“Are you sure you’re not coming tonight?” he asks you, trying to hide the sadness in his voice and failing miserably.

“And make you fuck up your setlist? I don’t think so,” you try to joke, only to panic slightly at the way his eyes gloss over; your hand immediately jumps up to cup his face, laughing softly at his expression as he simply pouts at you ridiculously. 

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” you grin, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips before you lean over to his ear, voice dropping to nothing but a whisper as you let your lips brush against his ear, “I’ll have a nice surprise for you tonight, so you better give your best show out there, okay?”

The low lilt of your voice is enough to have him perking up immediately; mouth parted slightly as he stares at you, unsure of what else to do but nod pathetically, knowing he won’t be able to control himself if he thinks about what you might have in store for too long. 

With one last chaste kiss, he’s leaving— and only because Soobin was pounding at the door, telling him they’d be late if he didn’t go out this instant— you think he might start crying as he gives you one last pouty glance, waving to you sadly before he slips out the door. 

You’re left alone, the room suddenly much lonelier and quieter than it was a few seconds ago— and you laugh, checking the time and running to your suitcase to get your makeup and outfit for tonight. 

A revealing shirt, a mini-skirt that’s a bit alarmingly short— you’re pulling out a sparkling, pink outfit like it’s nothing, throwing it all on and doing your makeup as you check the time absentmindedly; your phone lights up while you’re in the middle of doing so, and a notification reads that the staff are waiting for you outside to take you to the venue once you’re ready. 

Beomgyu loves performing knowing you’re in the audience more than anything; it’s something he’s made blatant to you, knowing that despite his mistakes, despite his small distractions, his energy always goes out the roof the moment he spots you there. So you knew how distraught Beomgyu would be to hear that you’re not going to the show tonight despite being able to, but the thought of surprising him is much more enticing than you’d like to admit. 

With one last check of your appearance in the mirror, you grab a jacket before you go; Beomgyu’s favorite oversized zip-up, the clothing item a stark contrast to the rest of your feminine and bright attire— and you smile, adjusting the purse on your shoulder before you’re off to the hotel lobby, where the staff are waiting and ready to escort you safely. 

The venue is almost full by the time you get there; you’re escorted straight to your barricade seats front and center, smiling shyly and waving at fans that seem to recognize you; your face feels hot and you walk faster at the way they get excited at the sight of you, not used to the fame that comes with being Beomgyu’s girlfriend— hell, you really don’t know how Beomgyu does it. 

You’re more than relieved once the concert begins, any attention that still lingered on you immediately getting stolen by the boys that appeared on stage; you winced slightly at the loud screams all around you, unable to help the way you eventually joined in— morphing into another fan in the crowd, the venue much too dark for any of the boys to recognize you just yet. 

They looked stunning in their concert outfits; the professional, matching and dark outfits tailored perfectly to each member, intricate with chains and rosaries and pretty layers. Your eyes widen as you watch Beomgyu walk to his position, taking note of his hair that has now been dyed back to black— you hadn’t realized how long it’d gotten until now, the layers framing his face and falling into his eyes as he goes to push back his bangs with a delicate hand. 

There are no introductions tonight— the music begins immediately, loud and abrasive and making the crowd jump along excitedly, screaming the lyrics and reaching out to try and get one of the members to pay attention to them— on the contrary, you try to remain hidden, looking away and bowing your head every time Beomgyu’s gaze sweeps around your area. 

God, you wish Beomgyu didn’t turn into such a ditz whenever he spotted you in the audience— because then you’d be able to enjoy more of their concerts, addicted to the borderline euphoric feeling you get from attending them, only for it to be multiplied as your eyes catch onto your boyfriend performing, your heart pounding against your chest at the sound of his voice ringing out into the venue— a surge of pride and love fills you as a grin spreads on your face, and it isn’t until you notice a member walking around that you’re able to look away from him.

Looking up, you make eye contact with Hueningkai. 

His mischievous smile and raised brows are immediately returned with a violent shake of your head; telling him to not say anything to Beomgyu, rubbing your hands together pleadingly the moment he glances back at the said man— then he turns to you, sending you a playful wink before he’s off to another section, not without sending you one last teasing grin and a wave; you’re glancing at Beomgyu in a panic, unsure if he’s spotted you, only to be relieved at the sight of him too concentrated on playing to even look up at the crowd.

It isn’t until the encore that they’ve all begun to move around, (save for Taehyun and Soobin, bound to their instruments as they’re resigned to simply wave at the crowd when they can) changed into more comfortable outfits during a small intermission— Beomgyu is decked in baggy jeans and an equally baggy shirt, long hair messy and makeup smudged as he walks along the stage, smiling and waving at fans that reach out for him— he plays his bass so effortlessly as he does, truly mesmerizing as he stops a few times to interact with fans; the sight has your heart fluttering hopelessly. 

But the closer he gets, the more you’re buzzing with nervous energy. Gripping onto the barricade tightly, having stood up long ago with the rest of the fans that are eager to get their attention. Beomgyu’s eyes scan through the crowd thoroughly, smiling cutely and returning hearts until he spots you. 

He freezes entirely. 

He’s no longer playing bass— he’s just standing there, in complete shock as he stares at you. You can only muster to give him a sheepish wave, an uncontrollable grin on your face as you laugh at his dumbfounded expression, trying to yell at him to go back to playing. But he doesn’t, and you’re jumping slightly at the way he takes off his bass and jumps off the stage, security frantically following behind as he rushes over to you.

His hands are on your face and he’s pulling you in for a kiss quicker than you can process; you hear the screams of the crowd around you, but Beomgyu’s got you in his hold so tightly that you’re unable to pull away, left to give in and melt against him as he kisses you for a little longer. Your face feels as though it’s on fire by the time he’s pulled away, his own alight entirely with joy as he grins at you, your head still in his hands as he leans against the barricade excitedly— you think he might just jump over it any moment now.

“You’re here?” he says exasperatedly, eyes scanning you frantically as though he were imagining you, “why didn’t you tell me, you should’ve— I would’ve—”

“Beomgyu,” you cut him off, placing your hands over his and laughing at the way he can only stutter stupidly, brushing his hair behind his ear fondly— watching the way his eyes crinkle cutely as he smiles, your own sweeping over the array of piercings that decorate him, hello kitty earrings glinting under the light— and pry his hands off your face, ignoring the pout he sends you as you scold him instead. “Get back on stage!”

Your words seem to snap him out of his reverie; his head is whipping back to look at the stage, at the way his friends can only laugh at him teasingly and yell at him to get back here— the way Yeonjun yells directly into the mic is slightly embarrassing, shrinking at the way all eyes are on you as the man’s words ring out the venue— Beomgyu, get the fuck back here!

He’s only able to leave with one last chaste kiss— the crowd is screaming at the sight, and you’re resisting the urge to cover your face in weak hopes that it could take all this attention off you— but you’ll bear it, especially with the way Beomgyu mouths a cute I love you! before he’s jumping back on stage. 

The poor boy is unable to take his eyes off you for the rest of the night— but on the bright side, there are no missed cues or wrong notes played. He’s just entranced with you for the rest of the encore, his energy seemingly replenished with the way he jams out to the music; mouthing the lyrics even when it’s not his part, maintaining eye-contact with you during songs he knows you’re particularly fond of— and suddenly, the idea of spending his anniversary at a concert isn’t as depressing as it was earlier tonight— because now, he had you by his side. 

⤬⤬⤬

“Beomgyu— Beomgyu please, not here…” you whine, unable to do much but bite your lip and swallow back whines that threaten to escape you, left to Beomgyu’s mercy as he immediately led you to his dressing room after the show— the said man is much too focused on kissing and marking your neck to listen, soft hair brushing against your face as he pulls you flush against him; back pressed against the wall, arched prettily from the way his hands snake around your waist and press your lower half against his— you’re holding back a groan at the way he’s already hopelessly hard against you. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you’d be coming? Hmmm? Just wanted to be a tease? Was this your little surprise?” he asks, biting at your skin and huffing out a laugh at the whine that escapes you; your hands are gripping onto his shirt tightly, fisting it in your hands and wrinkling the material as he lets his teeth sink slightly near your collarbones, “god, you look so good tonight, you’d really expect me to be able to hold myself back?”

His hands are wandering down your waist; over the swell of your ass, fiddling with the hem of your mini-skirt before he’s venturing under it— feeling the way you shiver against him the moment his hands squeeze at the soft flesh, fingers decorated with rings cold against your skin as he comes back up to kiss you. It’s rough and desperate, lip rings scratching as he kisses you with such hunger it leaves you breathless; he grinds his cock desperately against you, eliciting a small gasp from you and allowing him to slip his tongue inside— the piercing that decorates it scrapes along your mouth, unable to help the way your knees weaken at the feeling of him— his touch is everywhere, leaving you dizzy and lightheaded as you can only melt against him, allowing him to press you flush against the wall with his own body; your miniskirt is riding up along your hips as he situates himself between your legs, panties already a mess as he begins to rut his cock into you. 

“Are you sure you want to wait now, pretty?” he asks, looking down at you with low-lidded and fucked out eyes— he punctuates his words with a particularly harsh thrust, laughing at the way you yelp and tighten your hold on him, “I could stop everything right now, send you back to the hotel like this and make you wait, just like you said— is that what you want?”

Oh, he’s cruel— even more so because you’re left shaking your head no deliriously, your mind fogged with such need that your eyes are glossing over at the very thought of not having Beomgyu inside you right now; your voice is pathetic as you plead Beomgyu to finish what he started, throwing a hand over his shoulder and entangling your fingers into his hair as you pull him back into you— he’s more than eager to return the kiss, tilting his head and pressing himself more against you as a hand reaches down to your thigh; grabbing the back of your knee, guiding you to hook it around his waist as he begins to rut into you mindlessly.

“So cute, my pretty girl,” he mumbles against your lips, eyes trailing down your low-cut top to spot his favorite zip-up, a smile tugging at his lips as he merely sends you a cute smile, “did you miss me that much? Already so needy from a little bit of kissing— god, I love you so much…”

You think he’s mostly talking to himself at this point— spewing nothing but filth as his hands shove your shirt over your chest, grinning as he remains impatient enough to not take off a single item of clothing, choosing to push tug your bra down harshly before he’s swooping down to mark your breasts with a cruel smile.

“Looked so fucking hot out there, just made me wanna take you backstage and fuck you there,” he confesses, listening to the choked whine you let out, his pierced tongue playing with your hardened nipples, leaving them swollen and sensitive. He’s looking up at you with doe eyes that contrast greatly with the way he sticks his tongue out for you, letting you watch the way he circles and toys with the cute jewelry he bought for you earlier today, pulling away with a coy smile and leaving them soaked with his spit— he blows softly on them, watching with tentative eyes as you keen at the feeling. 

“God, you know I’ve been wanting to do this every time I see you at one of our shows? To make sure that everyone that looks at you knows just who,” he rolls his hips into you, nice and slow and letting you feel the length of his cock press against you as you flutter your eyes shut from pleasure, “you’re here for?”

“Fuck, gyu,” you pant out, snaking your hands under his shirt and up his back, grabbing at his shoulders and pulling him into you— as if there’s still space between the two of you, as if you’d die if you weren’t touching him at all times, “‘m only yours, only want you…” 

He’s sneaking a hand down to move your panties to the side, the two of you much too desperate to shed off any layers— and as you listen to the clinking sounds of his belt, undoing his jeans and pulling out his hardened cock, you busy yourself by sucking and biting at his neck, listening to his stuttered breaths as you suck and tease at the joint of his neck, his most sensitive spot as you bite at it playfully— you’re only pulling away at the feeling of Beomgyu grabbing at you hair and tugging you away, letting out a baffled laugh at the satisfied look you give him in return. 

“Want everyone to know you’re mine,” you coo out softly, grinding your pussy slowly against Beomgyu’s tip that teases your entrance, your mouth falling open at the feeling of him mirroring the action, running along your folds and swiping at your clit, “all mine, my pretty boy…”

He laughs fondly against your lips at that— bringing you in for a slow kiss, feeling the way your mind goes blank the moment his tip slowing enters you; he’s swallowing a soft moan from you as he bottoms out slowly, keeping himself deep inside and grinding his hips slowly against yours— and he stays there, a tease like always as he watches your brows furrow and your lips pout, telling him softly to move, to do something.

“Mmmh, all yours,” he mumbles softly, pulling out slowly to let you feel the way every vein runs against your walls, clenching and fluttering against his length as he hisses at the feeling, “I’m yours, belong only to you, fuck…”

He’s not able to keep this agonizingly slow pace up for long— as much as he wants to tease you, to have you crying and pleading for him to fuck you stupid, he isn’t fairing that well himself— so it isn’t long before he’s beginning to snap his hips into you, cock curving and aiming for that spot that has your knees buckling, pretty nails digging into Beomgyu’s shoulders and biting at the skin in order to try to stabilize yourself.

“Such a perfect cunt— fuck, ah, just wanna fill you up, wanna see it dripping down those pretty thighs— stupid fucking skirt can’t hide anything, ugh—” his voice is deep and breathy as he continues to talk into your ear, his hands sliding down to the swell of your ass before he’s holding it there— lifting you up, forcing you to hook your legs around his waist as you’re left to his mercy; his chest is pressed flush against yours as he fucks you, and you can only bury your face into his neck to try and muffle your sounds, the rough way you bounce from his thrusts causing your nails to slip and scratch down his back— he hisses at the feeling, only to be spurred by the stinging sensation it leaves behind. 

“So loud, shit,” he laughs meanly, grinning at the way you only bury your face into him more to try and muffle your sounds, “want everyone to hear you? All the staff, the members— I’m sure they’d like to see what a pretty doll you are for me.”

You shake your head at that— but your body gives you away as your cunt clenches around him pathetically, the wet sounds of skin against skin filling the room and undoubtedly filtering outside— but you remain persistent to keep your moans to yourself, choking back on sounds of pleasure as Beomgyu only begins to fuck you rougher; your silence is a challenge, one he’ll gladly take as he begins to roll his hips into you just the way you like it. 

“Come on pretty, I wanna hear you,” he purrs into your ear, a hand snaking around to rub at your clit while the other remains firm on your ass, “don’t you feel good? I can make you feel even better— so, so so good, just let me hear your cute little sounds.”

You’re playing hard to get. And Beomgyu takes absolute pleasure in it, watching the way you shake and dig your nails into him helplessly, your body being wound up from how good he fucks you; your thighs are sticky and shining from your arousal, poorly concealed pleasure only fueling Beomgyu’s ego further as he reaches up to tug your head out from it’s hiding spot.

He thinks he might just cum on the spot; your makeup is ruined, tears of mascara running down your cheeks as you merely let out soft hiccups of moans, your lips parted and brain completely empty as you stare at him— he smiles at you in return, capturing your lips in another kiss as his hand begins to trail down; toying with your breasts, nimble fingers pinching and rolling your nipples as you jolt and whine into his mouth at the sensation. 

“Gyu— gonna— need to, ah…!” the choked whimpers you let out aren’t enough for Beomgyu, and he only slows down at your request; fresh tears stream down your cheeks as you plead softly, breathy voice barely above a whisper as you whine quietly to keep going, don’t stop, please gyu, pleeaaase…. 

“Hmm? What’s that? I can’t hear you, baby,” he murmurs softly against your lips, slowing to nothing but a grind as he presses himself against you— pelvis grinding against your clit, the feeling making you tremble as you dig your nails into his shoulders once more. “Come on sweet thing, tell me what you need.”

You’re telling him— begging, pleading, breathy whimpers and soft cries escaping you as you roll your hips into him, biting your lip and sighing exasperatedly at the way he simply watches you with dark eyes, slowing down until he’s simply bottomed out inside you. 

“What do you want?” he asks softly, breathy voice intertwined with a lilt so sweet you’d almost think he pities you— and by the way he’s looking at you, he just might, swollen lips caught between his teeth to try and suppress a smile. You’re still weak and quiet as you try to voice your wants, looking at him through wet lashes, a pout on your face as your hands run absentmindedly up and down his back.

“Wanna cum?” he coos, pretty hand reaching down to circle and pinch your clit teasingly, “Want me to fuck you? Fill you up? Hmmm?”

All you can do is nod along to his words stupidly— and obviously, it’s the very last thing your boyfriend wants, abandoning your clit and reaching up to grab your face roughly; fingers digging into your cheeks, forced to look at him as he merely glares at you and speaks through gritted teeth. 

“Tell me,” he says, voice sharp and dangerous as he narrows his eyes, “use your words— or, don’t tell me I’ve fucked you dumb already.”

He’s unhooking one of your legs from his waist at that; you’re stumbling slightly, leg too weak to let you stand as you merely cry at him to wait, bringing him closer to you in fear that he might pull out and leave you like this— his fingers still dig into your cheeks as you speak, drool building up at the corners of your pouty lips as you stutter out exactly what you want— what he wants to hear.

“Want you to fuck me, use me— wanna cum, please,” you cry out, eyes squeezing shut as he shakes your head teasingly, as though to say and what else? “Want you to cum inside, baby please, just wanna feel good—”

You’re rambling at this point. But Beomgyu enjoys it nonetheless, telling you to keep going as he begins to move again; slowly at first, allowing you to feel the drag of his thick cock against your walls as your words become stuttered through weak moans, the sight making your boyfriend laugh as he slowly begins to pick up his pace. 

“Like it when I fuck you like this, yeah?” you’re nodding in confirmation to his words; staring at him with pleading eyes, whimpering a soft harder, faster, that the man is immediately obliging as he coos at the way you yelp at the sensation. “Want it harder? Hmmm? Want me to fuck you ‘till you can’t even walk—? Have to carry you out of here, let everyone see the way your sweet cunt is filled up by me?”

All you can do is nod to his words at this point; whimpering a weak yes, yesyesyes, want you to fill me up, use me, more more please—

Everything crashes down on you unexpectedly; your eyes are shutting tight and you think you might just black out as your orgasm hit you suddenly, cunt squeezing and fluttering around Beomgyu’s cock as he groans at the sensation— he lets you ride it out, cooing soft praise into your ear before he’s pulling you in for another kiss; you’re barely able to kiss him back, moaning into his mouth and letting him do whatever he wants with you.

It isn’t long before he’s cumming inside you as well; you’re so tight he can barely move, your cute whimpers and warm cunt guiding him through it as he fucks into you slowly, making sure none of his release slips out as he continues to fuck you, even after he’s become horribly sensitive. Then he’s still, lips still on yours and arms wrapped tightly around you as though he’s afraid to let you go.

“You okay?” he asks quietly after a moment, still lingering close to you, taking in your appearance with tentative eyes. You nod softly, still attempting to catch your breath as you chest heaves against his; he huffs out a soft laugh, caressing your cheek fondly before he’s going to fix your clothes— your mini-skirt remains up on your hips, his cock still bottomed out inside you as he coos about how good you were for him, caressing any skin he can get his hands on (which is a lot, considering your wardrobe) with a smile.

“Pretty girl, so perfect,” he coos, finally pulling out and tucking himself in before he’s going to fix your clothing; not without slipping his fingers inside your cunt one last time, watching with hungry eyes as you curl into him and cry that you’re sensitive— he’s only satisfied after his cum is left snug in your pussy, smiling darkly at the way he brings his fingers up to your mouth for you to clean— you do it without any hesitation, and Beomgyu swears he might just be getting hard again. 

“Love you so much, thank you for coming to see me today,” he says instead, bringing you in for a warm hug and a loving kiss; you merely hum tiredly in response, hands slipping out from his shirt only to be thrown over his shoulders leisurely.

Your face feels hot the moment he’s trying to get the two of you to leave back for the hotel— because your legs are absolutely not cooperating with you. 

“Holy shit, I was joking about that whole fuck you till you can’t walk thing,” he laughs, only to get cut of by the way you hit him in response— he’s letting out an exaggerated whimper at that, rubbing his arm and telling you sorry, sorry baby, with a cute pout.

“Ugh, I don’t want anyone to see me like this, fuck,” you mourn, only for Beomgyu to pull you into his side firmly, sending you a smile that’s not as reassuring as you wish it was. 

“I’m sure no one will notice,” he says simply, swinging the door open and immediately being met with Soobin passing by. 

He slows down at the sight of you two, glancing at your appearances briefly before he keeps walking. 

“Try to keep it down next time please,” he yells out, turning the corner and disappearing from your sight before you can retaliate. You feel slightly mortified by his words, but Beomgyu isn’t affected in the slightest as he leans over to murmur softly into your ear.

“Should we continue this at the hotel, pretty?”

You don’t answer his question. But he already knows the answer, sending you a giddy smile and intertwining his fingers with yours as he leads you to where the staff car is waiting for you two— and you hold back a smile of your own as you trail (limp, kinda) behind him. It’ll be a long night, but you couldn’t ask for a better way to spend your anniversary, no matter how unconventional it is.

[demiesworld]

HE (AIN'T) MY MAN! | choso kamo

☆— synopsis: choso is the emo kid at their college and is in a secret relationship with popular reader. it's been bugging him lately that they have to keep their relationship on the low. so he thinks it's time to put an end to that.

☆— contents: nsfw, rough sex, mean!choso, bratty!reader, size kink, spanking, unprotected sex, p in v, orgasm denial, dirty talking, degradation kink, mention of drug use (weed), big dick choso, dumbification, doggy style, cervix fucking, sub!reader, dom!choso, just the usual filth

☆— notes: i got the inspiration for the smut from kentheman "not my n*gga" originally i had wrote this with gojo in mind, but gojo bby is too overrated rn so i decided to write smth with my bby girl choso. i wrote this with a black reader in my mind, but the reader is not described as black. so yeah sit back and let's get some coochies popping.

"You want to act like you're so tough?"

His large inked hands slapped on your round ass cheeks the flesh stinging right after his cruel slap to your skin.

"You want to play like you're the one running shit?"

Again his hands smacked you on your ass and you squealed before letting out a sharp hiss.

"This is what bitches like you get. Fuck yourself on my dick. Fuck that pussy on this dick, yeeeah, just like that, throw it back."

Choso was kneeling on the bed behind you, his thick and long cock embedded into the warmth of your pussy. Though he wasn't doing the work this time. He wasn't fucking you like he would. It was you that was doing all of the work. You had been at this for a while now, on your hand and knees, throwing your ass back on Choso's dick. As he sat there doing nothing to help you out. Not even the whimpers of you complaining about your knees getting weak nudged him to move. He was just kneeling there watching as his dick would disappear into your heat then reappear coated by the slick of your pussy. Your ass recoiling at each pathetic plunge you made.

What happened for you to end up in this position?

Earlier you were at the mall with your group of "friends", girls that Choso didn't like because they weren't your true friends just a group of followers, when it happened. You were in the food court at the mall with them when one of them spotted Choso ordering himself food.

"Hey Y/N isn't that Somo?" One of them says out loud and points to Choso's back facing you four.

Did he mention that your friends were kind of stupid? A bunch of dumb bitches that only had one braincell among the group (the one braincell being you).

You clicked your tongue and rolled your eyes at your friend. "His name is Choso, girl, and yeah that's him. Why you so worried about him for?"

"Because it's like... I've been noticing that every time we are out with you Choso is always like around. Like when we're at school, out having lunch, or meetups like this." The first friend said to explain her concern.

A second friend spoke up, "Yeah girl it's like he stalkin' you or sum."

The third one joked, "Y'all must be dating if he be popping up whenever you be out."

You slam your drink down on the table, your sudden irritation confusing the girls, and you spat, "I am not dating that... loser." You say with conviction.

But that loser is the one that drives you to your destinations. The same loser who you suck off in his black Hellcat. The loser that you tell to drop you off just a block away because you don't want to be seen with the "emo kid" of your college campus. Who was the loser in this?

Besides you told Choso a week ago to stop lurking about when you are out with your "friends" due to this situation like now. They point out things that are in fact true, but you can't let them know it is because you want to keep your relationship with Choso secret. For one thing that you wanted to keep your reputation.

Today that was going to end though. It started when your friends kept pressuring you into proving that you and Choso weren't dating at the mall. Their words were getting your mind, so you shot up from your chair and headed over to the table Choso was occupying by himself. The table just four tables away from yours, but your group of fakes had a front row seat.

"Why are you following me around?"

Choso was half-way to take a bite out of his burger when you appeared next to him. Your arms on your hips, eyes narrowed at him, and a scowl on your lips. He looked up at you with a shake of his head and scoffed at your attitude, "What are you talking about?"

You got up in his face and accused him, "You've been following me around at this mall all day. My friends told me you've been doing that."

"Friends? You mean those dumb bitches that you let hang around you? Those friends?"

Your voice lowered to a whisper for him to hear, "Just act like you're gonna leave and-"

"No."

You stood there shocked when you heard Choso say that word. It was a word that you weren't used to hearing from him. You could feel that something had switched especially when Choso stood up to his feet. His figure towering above you as you had to tilt your head up to look at him and he lowered his eyes to look down at you.

"B-baby just act-"

"I said no. Did you not fucking hear me?" He took a hold of your wrist and held it tight. "I'm getting real tired of acting like we're ain't a couple when you know for a fact we are. That shit is ending today." He dragged you over to your table and gathered the bags of clothes, makeup, and perfumes from clothing brands that you bought.

Your friends were all surprised to see Choso holding onto your wrist so firmly, especially when you and him were supposedly "not" together.

The first friend from before asked nervously, "H-Hey where are you taking Y/N you creep?" She had stood up from her chair as if she was going to try something.

"She's going home with me, and you sit your ass down. You're not about to get into the middle of this." He glared at her, waiting for her to sit down and when she did he looked back at you. "You're done hanging out with these group of whores."

Choso and you left the mall and got into his car to head back to his apartment. On the way there it was quiet. You didn't say a word to him, scared that if you do it could cause a bigger punishment for you. When he pulled into the parking lot of his building, usually Choso would open the car door for you, but this time he didn't. He just walked up towards the staircase of his apartment door leaving you to sit in the car with a angry look on your face. You shot out the car and slammed his car door, hoping he heard it, as you left your shopping bags and stomped to his apartment. Choso was unlocking the door with his keys when you were coming up the staircase. Just as you were going to enter right behind him he shut the door behind him and you growled from his rude behavior.

You opened the door and slammed it shut, remembering to lock it, before you storm into the living room where your boyfriend sat lighting up an unfinished blunt he rolled that morning.

"What the fuck Choso?! You didn't see me walking behind you?!"

He didn't answer you. He just inhaled the smoke of the weed and blew it out through his nose. His legs were spread on the sofa. You were standing across from him, just the coffee table separating you both.

"Oh I get it, you're mad because I got up in your face at the mall isn't it? I was trying to tell you to just act like you were going to leave and not show up around again, but you weren't listening to me! If anything, it should be me that is supposed to be mad! Not you! You don't have no reason to be mad Choso!"

By the time you were finished with your little monologue, Choso had put out the blunt (now a roach) he was smoking. He looked at you with an expression that you couldn't define. His dark brown eyes were heavy-lidded, his full lips were in a straight line, and jaw clenched. You wanted to say he looked angry, but at the same time you didn't feel it.

"Are you done?" You go to open your mouth, but he raised his hand to stop you from yammering. "You," He pointed a finger at you, "Did not hear a word I said to you at the mall didn't you? What I told your ass went in the ear and out the other ear didn't it?" Choso stood up from the couch and took off his shirt. "Take your clothes off. I'm gonna teach you a lesson tonight princess."

Now here you were on your knees and slamming your hips against Choso's as you fucked yourself on his dick. Your nails were digging into his bed sheets and needy moans left your mouth. The room was getting hot since you were sweating while throwing your hips back.

He had told you in the midst of this not to cum on his dick. You were working hard not to do that, but with the way his dick kept prodding at your sweet spot it was getting impossible for follow his directions.

Choso slapped his hand on your right ass cheek when he felt you clenching around him. "Don't you dare fucking cum on my dick. You cum when I fucking tell you to bitch. You got that?" You nod your head, and he smacked you on your ass again. "Huh?"

"Yes! Yes! B-baby please, pleeeease, fuck, I'm sorry! 'M so- so fucking sorry!" You wail out and your knees tremble causing you to collapse on the bed. Choso's dick popped out of your pussy wetly, and he watched as you wriggled on the bed trying to lift your hips back up to take him back inside of you. "B-baby c-can you- put it back in please?"

"Do it yourself. You don't need me right?"

You whine and shake your head, "No! No baby! I do need you!"

His hand slaps you on your ass causing a moan to leave from you. "Then do it yourself."

Fuck he was being so mean to you. You panted heavily as you lifted your hips up from the bed and reached behind to grab the base of his cock. A lewd squelch could be heard when his fat tip entered your pussy followed by your head tilting back and a long moan to escape.

"Fuuuuuck! Fuuc- baby please," You squeeze your eyes shut, and had tears brimming at the corners of your eyes. You looked back at him, drool coming out of your mouth as you slurred, "Please can you fuck me now baby? Can you fuck me? Please baby? I want your dick so b-bad!"

Choso's lips crack into a grin and he hovers above your smaller body. His large hand comes up to your neck where he gently squeezes it in his palm. You tilt your head back and moan when Choso's hips slowly move forward till you can feel the head touching your cervix. You gasp and shudder, biting down on your bottom lip whilst curling your toes. He teasingly rolls his hips in slow wide circles emitting whines from you.

"Hmm... you want me to fuck you?" He murmurs into your ear, and you just rapidly nod your head. A hand coming up to hold the inked hand on your neck. "You want this dick to fuck you like the dumb bitch you are?" You nod your head again, looking at Choso with unfocused glossy eyes. "Then after this, we're not gonna be secret anymore right?"

"Uh-huh, uh-huh, y-yes, yes, just please fuck me baby."

Choso tightens his grip on your neck and it forces a gasp out of you. He stops rolling his hips just after he whispers, "Then you better hold on to something." You scramble to grab the pillow at the headboard, and your boyfriend laughs. That pillow was going to be no support in keeping you from bouncing away from his dick. Whatever then.

"Arch that back for me, just like that, hold it right there."

As soon as you got the pillow in your clutches, Choso quickly snaps his hips onto the curve of your ass. His heavy balls slapping onto your clit as your cum was splattering on his pelvic bone. You choked on a moan as you felt his fat cock ramming right into your cervix and causing your eyes to go cross. You let out soft grunts while your boyfriend fucked you like an animal from behind.

"FFF-FUCK! FUCK! BABY! B-BAB-BYYYY!!" You squeal, writhing on the bed and making an attempt to run from it.

Choso wasn't having none of that. He lets go of the front of your neck and pulls your hips back to his own.

"Nuh-uh. None of that," He mutters and slaps you on your ass. "None of that shit. This what you wanted right? This what you wanted right?" He was repeating the question to you, but you were too high off of his dick to answer him. "Lay here and take it. Take it, take it, take all of it." Choso held you by the back of your neck now with one hand, the other one gripping onto the flesh of your hip. Your boyfriend's mouth kisses you behind your ear and he husks, "I don't wanna hear you say you can't take it." A groan follows.

You whimper pathetically into the pillow beneath you, tears staining the fabric mixed with drool coming out of your mouth. "Cum, g'na c-cum! 'm gonna cum!"

He leans his muscular body off of yours. With his hand still holding you by the back of your neck, Choso pounds his hips away, directly bullying his cock into your cervix. His voice was saying, "You wanna cum? Cum on this dick. Cum for me. Cum on it." Your moans escalate into higher pitches and transition into shrill screams of indescribable pleasure.

"Sssshit! Baby! Baby! Ohhh fuuuck!" Your walls tighten around Choso's dick and he still doesn't stop fucking you. He keeps thrusting forward into your heat, helping you ride out your orgasm, while he chases after his own. You whine when Choso never quits in rocking his hips back and forth he's purposefully trying to overstimulate you. "Come on baby p-please -hic- please!"

Your boyfriend shushes you gently and he places a hand over your mouth. A whimper leaves from your mouth, but you're forced into silence when he speeds up and adds more strength into his thrusts. His body is practically moving you up on the bed, to the headboard, when you grip the tufted upholstery for support. You scream into his hand and he chuckles at you; his lips kissing your cheek.

"I know baby, I know, just listen to that. Yeeeeaah. Listen to how wet that pussy sounds. Hng, fuck baby, I didn't want to do to this, but - fuck - those dumb bitches you call friends, ha, they shouldn't have gassed you up." You cry out behind his hand as more tears roll down your cheeks in thick hot streams. Choso doesn't relent when you sob underneath him. Instead the tears egg him on, "Don't. Ever. Let. Another. Stupid. Bitch. Gas. You. Up." He was pounding into you with each word. You claw your nails at his arm, begging for him to stop and let you take a break. He pants against your neck and then growls when he feels his balls tighten up.

"I'm gonna cum in your pussy, and when I do this - shit - this relationship ain't gonna be secret no more."

"Uh! Uh! Uh! Hm!"

He chuckles dryly and groans, "I'll take that as a yes. Ooh, fuck, shit, I'm gonna cum." Choso lets go of your mouth finally and grabs a hold of your hips. He plunges himself back and forth in rhythm to his words, "I'm gonna paint, these, fucking, w-walls!" He stills his hips when he releases his hot cum right into your womb. You roll your eyes to back of your head and shudder as an intense orgasm crashes over your body. Choso's chest rises and falls in tune to his heavy breathing. His shoulder-length black hair sticking to his sweat-covered face and the black line across his nose smeared due to the perspiration.

His softening cock slowly pulls out of your abused pussy with a wet "pop" and your hole gushes with a mixture of his cum and yours. It trickles out onto his bed and down your thighs and folds. The sight of it is fucking filthy, but it was just enough to put his claim on you as his girl.

BONUS...

"Girl we haven't seen you in almost three weeks!"

"What the hell happened to you? Why are you wearing that?"

"What did Choso do to you?"

Your old friends had found you at the college campus after not contacting them in three weeks. You had been recovering from the punishment that Choso put you through and adapting to being true to yourself and not being a leader to these fake friends of yours.

You look at all three of them and said, "Nothing happened to me, I just had an epiphany. I'm wearing this because I'm not going to be leading you guys around anymore. And whatever Choso did to me it is none of your business."

As you go to walk past them but the first friend grabbed you by your wrist. "Y/N! You can't just leave us like that. We're friends! I thought you said Choso wasn't your man anyways!"

You snatch your wrist away from her, "Choso..." Your eyes look around the empty hallway for him, but you didn't see him. Which was fine, you didn't need him to have to courage to say, "Choso is my man. He's been my man since XX. He's not a loser like all of y'all dumb bitches."

One of them emphasized, "Dumb bitches?"

"Yeah, dumb bitches." A deeper voice appeared from behind you, and an inked arm with your name tatted on it slung over your shoulder. "These bitches bothering you baby?" Choso asked you as he glared at the three fake friends.

You shake your head and look up at him contently smiling, "No they're not baby. Not anymore."

Choso cupped his hand underneath your chin and hotly kissed you in front of the trio. He smiles in approval, and hums, "Good girl."

☆ — notes: WWHEEWWW CHILEEE.... i need me a man like choso to put me in my place. i mean like- if i get me a man that can treat me like a queen but fuck the attitude outta me i would be happy y'all. i would. ANYWAYS lmk what you think! ♡♡♡

[joocomics]

hi hi it’s imagesbywayv!! (she’s a side blog) & I always always am having wayv brainrot. rn I’m thinking about sub xiaojun esp with the new little emo boy teaser images like I have NOT stopped thinking about making him beg…

a/n: you said sub!xiaojun and i immediately started thinking how he is so damn oral fixation coded *sigh* i really hope you enjoy this! ty for stopping by <3

bf!xiaojun who is often reserved, caught staring with brooding eyes; his lip piercing and all black outfits make him look even more like a threat. but little do they know how the opposite he is whenever it’s just the two of you in your cosy bedroom. how his domineering gaze turns soft at the sight of you spreading on the edge of the bed so he can settle between your legs without you even having to say a word… because him succumbing to you has become something he willingly wants to do - it’s a craving; an urge that has him dropping to his knees without hesitation

bf!xiaojun who needs your guidance on when to slow down and catch his breath because he tends to get lost in the moment once his tongue is gliding up your folds. your moans haze over his mind, your sweet taste gets him high on adrenaline and his mouth becomes greedy and pushy until you grip his black hair to pull him away which always seems to make him groan shamelessly. he always apologises and pleads the right way for permission to continue

bf!xiaojun who can endure a long foreplay pretty well, but once he gets his first taste of you, he needs to have you now. his accessorised slim fingers sink roughly into your thighs, emphasising his needs as if the way he unconsciously moves his hips forward while eating you out does not prove enough already. “please, baby,” his muffled whines keep sending shockwaves through your body as he mumbles against your slick folds, doubling your heat with his hot breaths, “please, promise you’re gonna touch me.”

you peer into his dark pleading eyes with a smile and caress his flushed face with beautiful sharp features; the same ones that so many people around you get intimidated by

“so desperate, aren’t you?” your two fingers slip through his glistening lips and he welcomes them while humming blissfully. you command him to suck and giggle softly at his immediate obedience. “is this what you want me to do with your cock, hm, baby? think you’ve earned it?” his saliva quickly coats your fingers while some is sneaking out from the corners of his puckered lips as he nods wordlessly. “i think so too,” you coo and take them out, but xiaojun’s mouth remains hanging open, drooling and in awe with the effortless way you’re pulling his strings…

[lesbianriverphoenix]

bit of a silly personal post but i just am so delighted by my music taste rn 😄 i feel like it started last fall when i finally got to see my best friend's husband's hardcore band play and i kinda got into hc which lead to more sub rock and punk and emo genres which eventually somehow lead to getting super into shoegaze especially 90s shoegaze and more 90s/early 2000s alternative which my daylist has been classifying as 'college rock'....it's just so fun to intentionally seek out music and figure out which artists you like and having so many albums to go through for the very first time! i don't want to be annoying about it but it makes me sad when every gay person i know just listens to boygenius and muna and noah kahan like there's MORE OUT THERRREEEE

[redr0sewrites]

🥀Mini Life Update + Current WIP's List🥀

quick life update!!!! i haven't posted in a hot minute and i wanted to give a mini explanation bc i probably will start posting regularly again soon!

as i've mentioned before i haven't been feeling super well recently and on top of that ive been working nonstop for 12 hours every day cuz of classes and work in general and im desperately trying to fit in a social life and decent sleep schedule around these busy hours 😭 the extra hours will end next monday (and ill go back to my usual free time), so i'll probably start posting a LOT more next week!!! writing is def super comforting for me, so i have a lot of WIPS rn that im super excited to finish and post :D

🥀Current Wips (in order of probability of finishing/posting):

Angst Adam Fic Pt 2 (its coming soon i swear its literally almost done)

Adam x Emo!reader hcs (requested)

Lute + Adam x insecure!reader (requested)

Teasing Sub!Vox throughout the day (smut- also requested)

Multi Hazbin Characters x reader with a power to control emotions (requested)

Alastor x Reader General Hcs (still need to send the nsfw part to beta readers so it may take a little while)

[beenbaanbuun]

i’m gonna talk about things i like in varying amounts of detail bc life is overwhelming and thinking and talking about them actually really helps sometimes!

alton towers

okay so i made a 100+ page powerpoint on alton towers which i would give everyone access to but i can’t because i don’t know how to make myself anonymous as the creator and i’m not about to dox myself…

ANYWAY!!! alton towers is a theme park in staffordshire england! it’s the biggest theme park in the uk, tied for highest number of coasters (10) but way larger in terms of actual area of the park. it’s built on the grounds of a stately home that used to be owned by the earl of shrewsbury! a dark ride is actually based off of a local legend involving one of the earls. it’s called hex and it’s a vekoma madhouse and while i could go into so much detail about both the story and vekoma madhouses (because they’re an excellent piece of engineering that genuinely make me so happy to talk about) i have so much more to talk about and i don’t want this post to be miles long!

the oldest coaster there currently is nemesis: reborn which first opened in 1994 under the name nemesis. she was the first b&m inverted coaster to be built outside of the us and, like most alton towers coasters, was built specifically to fit the contours of the land. due to height restrictions set in place by the local council, alton towers cannot built any coasters above tree level so as not to be seen outside of the park. to combat this, alton towers actually build down and nemesis is a perfect example of them doing this. they quarried out the land first and used the removed rocks elsewhere in the park for theming (most notably in the katanga canyon theming!!). in november 2022 (at the end of the theme park season that runs from march-november), nemesis was closed for a refurbishment. she remained closed throughout 2023 and reopened in march 2024 under the new name. more theming was added, tracks were replaced to make them more durable and she also got a lick of paint to keep up with the updated lore! nemesis sub-terra, the dark ride that was opened in 2012 before promptly shutting in 2015, has even been reinstated and actors are scattered around this section of the park to keep things feeling alive.

there’s so much more to talk about for alton towers but i’ll keep it short and sweet! if anyone wants to ask any questions about it (or anything on here for that matter) then feel free to drop into my inbox! i’m happy to talk about any of these things more!!

five nights at freddy’s

specifically security breach actually…

which i get is not a popular opinion because the game was broken as fuck when it first came out but guys! the aesthetic!! the story!!! the open world!!!! MY FAVOURITE FATHER FIGURE GLAMROCK FREDDY!!!!! i don’t have a good relationship with my parents and glamrock freddy???? he fixed that. he cured me!!

anyway, that’s not important rn, i got distracted. i just love this game guys :((( it’s not necessarily scary but it is fun and the characters mean the world to me so genuinely. i laugh every time i see a ‘freddy! you’re supposed to be on lockdown’ meme because they’re so funny to me. i am doing things with this franchise rn that confuses even the likes of me (no spoilies though)!! and while no fnaf lore will ever make sense to me (especially not with the addition of AR… huh?!?) i still love the franchise and everything to do with it!!

bring me the horizon

shut up and let me ramble about the band that changed my life when i was a lonely little 12 year old!! i mean that so genuinely too, these guys have done so much for me and my personality and that is not a good thing but it’s certainly a thing. theyre the reason i’m an insufferable little emo and they have to face the consequences!!

and i’m not gonna say too much about them because i’ll never be able to express all my thoughts and feelings to the extent that i want to. i do however want to say that i’m proud to live where i live because of them. i’m proud of my accent because of them. i’m 90% sure i saw oli outside of a charli xcx concert in 2022 but that’s kind of irrelevant to my whole point. basically, they made me who i am today and you have them to thank for a lot!

(i literally wore my nex gen tshirt today and it was cool and epic)

this is it for now but there will be more in the future when it is not 2:20am and i am not on the verge of passing out!!!

[morningstar-chronicles]

ok actual shifting diary entry because i'm emo rn:

void state method didn't do anything for me today. it's given me symptoms in the past, but i think today was just not a good void day for me, so i'll give it another shot tomorrow, provided i don't shift tonight. i'm probably not going to try very hard tonight, but i'll definitely throw on a sub and fall asleep to that.

i talked to some extended family today and it kinda made me want to turn back to shifting. like more than i already have. we talked about our futures for a bit and i already knew i didn't really want to be here for my OR future, but the more we talked, the more i was thinking about it. i don't know what i want to do in my DR future, but as long as i get to be with my loved ones and just in a better society in general, i don't think it really matters.

i dunno man. i'm tired. i really do just want to go home and collapse at home on my bed. i wanna be in my kitchen watching my dad make soup for us. i miss my brothers and my sisters and my mum and my friends, and i just. want to be there. that's where i belong.

[liquidstar]

Not sure if we can send more than one but #3 and #16 for your ocverse?

YESS OFC ITS OK THANK YOU SM <3

BUT. IM PUTTING THIS UNDER A CUT BC I TYPED SO MUCH LOL SORRY ANON <3

3.) any recurring images/elements?

Since I just answered a looong drabble abt the anthea converse I’ll answer this one for the polaris one lol

The obvious one is a lot of space and star themes, even the characters designs generally have some sort of little cosmic accessories. Different characters will have their own little sub-motifs, not just in the way they dress but just things that will come up in their story a lot. Like, Polaris herself is a navigator so really anything related to directions (In a more abstract way too, like, she’s lost in life and such), for Saiph, his whole thing can veer on being pretty upsetting but you can always look out for this one Spesific Fucking Knife that’s going to pop up constantly, for Al it’s anything related to halves and opposites, I mean, just look at his hair. For Bella it’s partly her sweet tooth, though it’s also not really about that at all. And for Mira you can aaaalways look out for birds and wings and really anything that flies, oh I hope that doesn’t have any possible negative side effects!!

Anyway I could go on with all the characters (Felis and “lives,” Juno and cracks/breaking, Ain and, well, eyes, etc.) but I think I’ll leave it at these for rn! 

Overall though… A huge huge huge huge huge overarching theme, and I think really the entire point of the story I want to tell with them is… Connection! We’re made of stardust, we’re all connected, people need people to survive. People need connection, no man is an island (Polaris), needing help isn’t a weakness (Saiph), it’s okay to be a burden (Al), vulnerability is a necessity for connection (Bella), people continue to live because of the kindness of others (Mira)

There’s totally a flipside of this too! And other character’s different struggles with it! But again I’d be here all day just listing them all (Not that I’d mind. This is fully for your sake LOL). There are a bunch of smaller themes I’d love to get into, like a lot of the characters arcs are sort of about different types of ego death, sometimes taken in strangely literal ways. And of course the theme of “flaws” being power is important here because of the way that all the characters interconnect into something stronger. And the idea that it’s not somekind of moral failing to be imperfect. But it’s also possible to grow, especially with the help of others. 

AND LOVE! The idea that all love that has ever been and ever will be has always been there. Because, again, we are made of stardust, we are part of the universe. Every moment that you have spent loving something, you have been the universe giving love back to itself. So don’t deny yourself that. 

16.) imagine the entire story takes place but in the meantime the characters all also have tumblr. what kind of (terrible) tumblr posts would happen?

OK silly time. I actually think this concept is so funny so I wanna save it for in case I ever wanna ACTUALLY make fake tumblr posts for them...

So in the meantime here's just what I think their tumblrs would look like

Polaris has not changed her blog theme, icon, or even blog title at all. And she only browses and doesn’t post. She doesn’t understand why she keeps getting blocked.

Saiph comments on EVERY SINGLE FUCKING POST that he reblogs. All of them. No matter what. He needs everyone to know his thoughts.

Al doesn’t use Tumblr and if you saw him reblog old emo music at 3am no you didn’t that was someone else. That was a different Al. Stop asking questions. 

Bella has the most decked out “pastel goth” Tumblr theme ever. She’s so meticulous about it as if it matters. She reblogs edgy moodboards and Kuromi edits. Her Caard is a maze filled with so many blinkies you’ll go blind. She also posts cake.

Mira runs a bird themed gimmick blog. She, like, roleplays as a bird who’s a menace to society. She rbs Bella’s cakes with stuff like “Oh  fuck yes. A little cake for me. *pecks at it*” She’s having fun.

Felis has one of those catgirlbodypart urls. Love her for it of course.

[neoginfan]

The history of my love kid oc thing Natila Vermillion

This is a long post but its also my post :3

Also to avoid tags im slashing all on brand names

No tags bc this is kinda me pouring all i can remember about making nat into one post <:3 more to come btw like me geeking about this one cor/tex artist in particular but rn must get nat off brain

She started out as either an experiment gone wrong or somehow cra/sh and co/co sabotaged cort/ex's shit again (funniest option in 2018) either way unwanted and quite frankly a terrifying situation for our science boys. I even have her original design actually-

She was more n gin coded back then but then i was like, "That doesnt make any sense at all n gin wasnt always a cyborg thing.." And the mousekeys have always been a thing. I love cott beasts so much like the do/om mon/key and the ratc/ians so i made the mousekeys to be mouse monkeys bc nat was 'monkey see monkey do' with cor/tex and n gin. Her blue hair comes from the fact I love cott too. Originally she was also supposed to have a decent relationship with o/ka ok\a (as in he didnt automatically hate her upon actually meeting her) but thats not really ok/a o\ka like ykyk? Ni/na hates nat and nat looks up to nina a lot. I based that on when i was little and maining ni/na in cra/sh ta/g te/am rac\ing. I didnt actually know how to play and mainly just did the tricks on the freeplay. Id always joke, bc i knew ni/nas personality despite not seeing any actual clips of her, that if she were real shed just hate me bc of how much i love her in general. (Bunches man i love that spunky gothic emo sciencey robotic girl)

But theres another twist- in 2018 when making this character i made a sub plot au thing- basically "what would a trash scientist do to trash their own kid?" The answer was, and you probably guessed it, leave the kid in the middle of the forest to die!! And yk who doesnt let that happen? Cra/sh and Co/co- literally i wrote 2 fics and the only difference was either just acceptance from cor/tex or be with co/co and cra/sh :3 i did little to no character studying at this point too- ive done more of that and went "oop" over my previous fics made in 2018- actually of the 4 fics from 2018 2 of them were n s fw and one didnt even include the love kid i had made. I uhhh 😳 cant explain that but i gender bent n gin and cor/tex in that one i thinkkk. 😳😳😳

Basically this character was born out of a love for two wack jobs um and i hope yall enjoy even tho i keep making these two evil guys out of character. Really just wanted this out and kinda off my chest.

[aemondapologistfrfr]

works in progress

hi i’m keeping my word and communicating!! - i'll do this once a week going forward and if you see the same fic on here for months shh

these are my current w.i.p. which can range from a couple sentences to idk why i haven’t posted these yet

                                         ᓚᘏᗢ

ততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

one shots

boxer!benji x strong!reader - request - mans is a boxer and rides a bike bffr need i say more

sub!aeg - just needs to be heavily edited but it’ll be posted in a couple days 

princeregent!aem - as of rn blurb abt sharp point that wife!reader helps him burn down - i write this when im really supportig his wrongs

aem x sis!reader - basically just you showering him w gifts and him thinking he’s undeserving 

modern!aeg - he’s a street racer and douchy - my type 

miniseries parts that are in the emotional attachment issue corner:

the fam dis pt10 - final part of this is in my head but im too emo to finish it but i will soon 

ur fav flav pt5 - final part of this is actively being written and super smutty and sweet and holiday like 

book club pt6 - i have like 3 words written in this doc bc im just a little stuck and don’t know where to take it and don’t want to add in a pregnancy or anything but im planning on leaving this open ended or idk! 

his wife pt3 - idk what my issue is with this mini series and im sorry! this isn’t even in the emotional attachment corner it’s buried in the fkn basement 

secret work that i didn’t plan on sharing but have two parts for it and planned for it to come out in oct and it’s currently the middle of dec

aegon x vampire!reader - eventual vampire!aegon - basically a couple weeks before rooks rest and then a au ending where you and aeg leave and go be sexy vampires and fuck and drink blood 🍷 

so with all that the 3 main things i try to work on daily are boxer!benji request, ur fav flav pt5, and sub!aeg and those will be coming to you all shortly!! 

why do i have 10 w.i.p. wtf is wrong w me

ততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

[koqabear]

EEP MORE TYUN AAAANANDNDANDDD OPPOSITES GYU..... I genuinely shed a tear

im so excited to see what you do with the royal tyun au bc ik u mentioned wanting to write something royal before with castles and stuff, so i'm excited to see how that turns out when you do release it! as for long haired loser gyu and bimbo mc AAAHaaaaAAAAAH . im so excited like im already excited just bc i dont know what to expect and also bc... the roles are kind of reversed this time?! super excited i need to kiss ur brain

also omg! i totally get the switching whenver you get stuck because i got kind of inspired to write my own opposites attract after hey emo boy! and im also currently stuck bc its looking a lot like slice of life rn and there's just so . much plot than i'm used to so i've also started picking up other ideas but i never really do too much with them so it's just procrastination for me 😭 the og story is just. so much bigger than i expected it to be and now im trying to accept that i have to consistently work on it bc i want it to come out some time next month 😓 (accidentally revolved it around seasons and stuff as well as bg's bday so i want everything to line up for some reason)

BUT im wishing u the best of luck w all three works! – ml

i just adore the idea of loser bitch gyu and it’s taking everything in me to not make the plot too elaborate— I want it to be less than 20k (is this who I am now. Just a fic writer who always writes extremely long fics.) but it’s even more fun because the mc will be getting all the power in this fic… hence sub Beomgyu !!

but yeah, my royal tae fic is meant to have a very dark feel to it, and I honestly don’t expect it to reach 10k— it’s just meant to be a short one shot that lets me continuously write. But I rlly hope I can get these descriptions down this time!!

even though I’m constantly coming up with new wips, I honestly think it’s better to keep writing than to force yourself to be stuck with a project you don’t like! That’s how take it was made— just a random writing outlet while I figured out what to do for oyd lmao

[ofgreyskies]

updated ash intro under the cut ! the real preamble will be added here later because my brain is dead rn. i tried to keep this short but that's really not my specialty. um... ash as a person has mostly stayed the same, i just wanted to make some parts of his background more concrete and give him more internal + external conflicts so it's easier for me to get in his head. if you read this and think anything we've plotted / written needs to change, please let me know and i'll be happy to work something else out !! if you would like to continue plotting or start plotting, please like this and you'll hear from me soon-ish 🤍

background

spent his earliest years in san francisco with his parents, then spent periods of time around ages 6 -13 traveling around the world a lot with his mom (places he lived for brief-ish periods of time include tokyo, london, vancouver, seoul, and queenstown new zealand)

he moved to los angeles shortly before high school and attended some fairly well-known performing arts high school

uploaded covers and original songs on youtube and soundcloud in high school, spent his fridays at open mics or actual gigs when he could get them, etc. he released three mixtapes (greed, esprit, and evergrey) and a few standalone original tracks that gained some amount of attention on soundcloud.

he got a publishing and artist deal with a multi-national label (think like warner / universal) post-graduation and worked as a songwriter and producer under the name greymatter (his soundcloud name) with credits for several korean and u.s. artists (possible plot for recording artist muses!)

made his debut in the us in 2015 with put my hands on you and love. promoted his ass off at small radio stations and shows but it didn't make a huge splash.

debuted in korea in 2016 with an ep to more success. became known as a rising star producer (won composer of the year at mama) and singer in the korean r&b scene. his label mediaplayed him a bit as an r&b pretty boy... the first real point of contention between him and his label.

more cracks started to form because of difference in vision with his label and he started to burn out a little. fought w/ his label to release instagram, cue the biggest hit of his career.

scene opens on a few months later... ash kwon, a man from california, might... smoke weed ????? nothing comes of a police investigation b/c he's not a korean citizen and there's no concrete proof he ever did it in korea but the headlines and some other controversies that are dug up in tandem are enough to turn public opinion against him.

contract with his agency is terminated, he disappears save for a couple song credits here and there (taylor swift vc: nobody physically saw me for a year). about a year later, he reappears under the radar playing super small shows in hongdae and itaewon as the lead vocalist of a new band called blacklight

eventually signs with culture creative and establishes a sub-label for him & his band. works primarily as a songwriter-producer/director/photographer/band member for about three years until he drops a new solo album after, like, half a decade

personality

invented being an emo boy actually. too emotional for his own good. believes his own tortured artist hype sometimes.

also too reckless for his own good and convinces himself it's just independence and it's a good thing!

one of his toxic traits is claiming to hate fame but craving the validation of an audience to kind of absurd levels

can be very flighty and hard to reach, but is incredibly loyal to those he values most

says he hates conflict but will start an argument just to feel something sometimes

lives in his head and not in a fun lil manic pixie dream boy way but a slightly self-obsessed anxiety spiral kinda way

you thinks he's so cool and different and then the law pulls up and he won't get in the car and you're like oh god damn not another rockstar 🙄

plot ideas

roommate / former roommate ? he's the kind of guy who needs his alone time and would rather live on his own, but he might have had roommates in his early days in seoul (2016ish) or briefly post-scandal or even now because one or both of them is in between places.

musical collaborators. fellow songwriters and/or producers he works with sometimes. singers whose voices he'll use on demos when his won't really work, recording artists he works with as a songwriter and/or producer a lot (or even has just worked with once tbh). people who have featured on his music

muses he's directed an mv of (or will in the future) or has photographed (or will in the future)! he has a sort of specific style that's kind of dark, horror-inspired but i'd love to try to work something out for anyone!!

here's a list of ways muses can be involved in his career items if anyone is interested !!!

people he knows from his childhood or adolescence? people from san francisco / the bay area or los angeles are easiest for this, but he did spend short times in other places with his mom like tokyo, london, vancouver, and new zealand, so they could have met there as well

people whose work he's a fan of! this is easiest with singers who do r&b or more indie rock type stuff or directors tbh, but muses adjacent to any kind of grungy / existential / artsy stuff are also an option lmao

alternatively people who are fans of his work ? could also be a never meet your heros, met him and it soured their opinion of him type thing. or they clicked and they got close despite his reservations about anyone being a fan of him lmao

younger or older people he has a sibling-like relationship with. as an only child, give him some chosen siblings.

exes, flings, hook-ups, fwbs, people he kisses on the mouth platonically, whatever. he infamously gets around but is also incredibly intense with all feelings, positive or negative

people who dropped him when public tide turned against him... or people who stood by his side... or people he became friends with during his time away from the public eye

people who won't put up with his shit, for better or for worse. people who he doesn't vibe with. people he doesn't understand but is lowkey dying to figure out how their brain works.

if you're thinking about making a new muse and think his band blacklight might be a good fit and we've plotted before, i'd be down to talking that out as a potential plot. the band needs a keyboardist, a bassist, a drummer, and potentially another guitarist. there are certain dynamics i'm looking for within the band and a certain vision i have for it, so i'd just want to talk about it a little in-depth first to make sure we're on the same page which is why the collective isn't technically "open"

+ very vague plot page to keep you on your toes

[hydralisk98]

I am not angry rn, but I got much legitimate angst to express before I shine

I do build my creative projects quite constructively and whilst I will get back to such scheduled programming soon, I want to experiment with some more radical ideas before I write curate and design what works in long-form. Nothing totally off-bounds but yk, having some edgy emo leisure over a couple of existing media's story beats, character sub-arcs and meme cultures of specific multimedia communities.

Be ready for a wild ride for the next few posts I shall curate and write as I explore possible avenues to express the inner autistic child screaming from within. Nothing personal, simply pushing the medium in ways unforeseen...

Snow Miku on board of the Borealis (HL2) / Bismarck (WW2 Germany) / RMS Lusitania (WW1 USA) being sunk by the SUV Juniper of the Shoshoni navy (will make sense with my constructed world shitpost-y things soon, alongside many more upcoming + re-curated memes that shall come with the calculated wrath I shall unleash on my blog...)

Anyway, here's the current compilation of some of my older memes to get you excitedly waiting in the meantime:

Quite black metal type of hardcore but you get the gist...

[radiantidiot]

9 people you want to know better

Tagged by @the-second-visitor, thank you for pondering my orb

Three ships: First off, hannigram (Hannibal), look at them look at them look at them they're gorgeous they want to kill each other they want to kiss each other. Second is definitely daan/marcoh/pav (fear and hunger), this one's cause i read a fic that changed my brain chemistry (starving dogs read ittttttttttttttttt). And finally, Loustat (interview with the vampire amc), idc toxic vampire yaoi

First ship: You're gonna laugh but uhhh actually lemme preface this. A very long time ago when I was but a wee emo child (before i knew I was a girl) I was extremely into a show called hunter x hunter. The two main characters, Gon and Killua, they constantly had each other's backs through thick and thin, and as we saw them develop and grow as characters, they began to rely on each other. In one of the last episodes, gon is able to win a fight at the cost of doing something terrible, Killua gets him to back down, likely saving his life in the process. To tiny emo me, this all read as like weird codependent romance and I was all here for it. So yeah, gon/killua hunter x hunter

Last song: marionette by 2 shadows

Last movie: queen of the damned. It takes place in the iwtv universe, basically lestat is a Rockstar and drinks god blood, it's mentioned in s2e8 (the blood of akasha flows through me). It's pretty good, give it a watch if you're able

Currently reading: a funger fic, modern man traditional medicine (NEW CHAPTER WHEN???????????)

Currently eating: nothing rn but I had some crackers not that long ago with a really good dip my friend made today (if you're reading this, shoutout)

Currently craving: honestly idk probably gonna smoke later so that?

Your turn! (If you wanna)

@apibizz @clownhara @klaumelon @ezhrndle @deiim @h3rta-space-stat1on @sub-vester @surgicalpen1sklinik @sirensskai @fishlung8877

9 people you want to know better

Tagged by @aroace-moron. Thank you for tagging me!

Three ships: Oh definitely Synovus/Minerva from the Synoverse stories by wingedcat13. I thinks about those two a lot. Then Maedhros/Fingon. I did not want to ship them. I ship them so much. And for the last one I'm gonna go with Nerdanel/Fëanor. These two can fit so many headcanons.  

First ship: Eeeehhhhhh. I don't know. That was so long ago. I guess those two guys from the Loserdex comic. You know the two? The roommates. The best friends. Where one was in love with the other but the other one was oblivious to it? It was so long ago I don't remember anything. Just that it was very relatable at the time.

Last song: Okay let's see. Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics covered by PelleK (the patron saint of metal covers).

Last movie: I don't remember T_T. Prolly a Saltburn rewatch.

Currently reading: The Sandman series. I payed for it (bought it last year) I might as well finish it. In the fanfiction department it's The Harrowing by Chthonion. Amazing thing.

Currently watching: An episode of MasterChef Canada. Good way to learn new words.

Currently eating: Some biscuity thingy with salty caramel. I think it might be expired.

Currently craving: Roasted chicken with rice. Also ceasar salad.

Your turn! (if you wanna): @depressed-cryptid, @glitch3d0ut, @embarressment-erradicated, @radiantidiot, @cheese-crusts, @deergirlslut, @remykai, @aotearoa20 and @ramblingmoon