#i wanna talk to my moots again sobs

[mcchaoticgrimreaper]

Kinda beena while since I've interacted with people there sobs

Sending love/p to my moots because I can, watch me uvu

[doppel-doodles]

ART MOOTS APPRECIATION TIME!!!🥰🫶🫶🫶💗💗💗

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

@jayjaysmind

MAH PLATONIC HUSBAND! such a sweetie pie! Deserves all the love in the world for his art. Even better I know where you live so prepare to get all your powers stolen buster-

Ehe:> anyway very fun to playfully bully 10/10 would torment again! Also THE OCS Jay make em all public for the love everything they are so good🔫

@dortiii

BESTIE BOO I LOVE YOUUUUU! My first friend I made in the lmk fandom and I can't believe it's been so long oml- An absolutely phenomenal writer literally a beast with words it's not even funny how good she is! And artstyle? Marshmallow levels of soft just so cuteeeeeee! I would squish it no questions asked gimme🤲

Dortii walked so other Arthur simps could run. I stan them, best ship ever.

@littlethingsrae

OMG HI MOOOOOOM!🧡🧡🧡 WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I ADMIRE HERRRR, also one of the og lmk moots and I'm so grateful she is SUCH A WONDERFUL AND TALENTED FRIEND! Would die for jin and broken wings I love them thiiiiiiis much!

But no offense you failed at parenting me I am such a brat, sorry not sorry this is your fault<3

@chuitu

If there were any of my friends that I could just yoink their talent from it would be chu! My talented sibling we gotta do more stuff together SOBS their art and story are always peak not to mention they are literally one of the funniest people I ever talked to-

@camhues

OMAAAAA YOU GIVE ME CUTENESS AGRESSION!!! Absolute cutie pie that I wanna squish squish with so much love! Love all her ocs just gorgeous ladies!❤❤❤ I hold metamorphosis in my hands one of my favorite ships hands down-

Just- so much talent, so much kindness and so much silly wrapped into the cutest human being it's unfair! Also has the best reactions when messed with💙

@tamaruaart

My lil Tammy! From auntie status now you are just a lil babyyyyy! I'll defend you withy life you deserve the world YA HEAR ME?! just such talent in art it feels like Greek paintings being hit with an anime beam AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH. and just a collection of stunning characters with such a great story!

I sent ya all the virtual love, one day I'll live in your walls and find the secrets of your power!

@itsalice3940

My new auntie!:DDD you'll never get your wallet back and neither will I ever stop biting you! I am a feral creature and you are my Chewtoy of choice! Get bullied loser!❤❤❤

Anyways all jokes aside, one of the most compassionate and passionate people I know and I appreciate it all so much! I feed you lore like crumbs and shall never stop because you deserve to be fed!

my lord this isn't even close to all my moots- but I shall stop here for now, part 2 will be made later I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE TO GIVE LOVE TO SO CHECK EM OUT THEY DESERVE IT-

[sun13koi]

TW- VENT POST. (CW: language, Possible mentions of divorce and mental health). I’m tagging some of my moots that I trust with this sort of thing, but moots just know you don’t have to read it.

So i knew it was gonna happen. I probably figured it out one/two years ago when my dad had a breakdown on a winter vacation. It’s been and ever since. He lives at a different house. I hardly see him. Both of my parents don’t even come CLOSE to how comforted my online family (all of which I’ve met ever since the summer of this year) makes me. Like… I don’t care about my bio family, really. As long as I have my chosen family, I’m okay. But it’s still devastating to accidentally look at your dad’s phone and see a mile long break up text that he’s been writing in the car KNOWING THAT I ACCIDENTALLY LOOK A LOT. All I could see was ‘I’m done with this’, ‘we’re through’, ‘no more couples therapy, we’re done.’ And ‘continue ignoring me, okay? I don’t need your attention.’ And then I couldn’t read any more. This isn’t the first time. One time I saw him (also on accident) texting his therapist saying ‘I think she’s just stalling, and we both know we’re already over. She’s just staying with me for the kids.’

I can’t do this. I wasn’t exposed to many negitive things as a little kid (not until like 11 but that’s a different trauma story)- no horror movies, no mentions of break ups, etc. so I have no fucking clue what to do. I’m stuck with emotions I had almost forgotten because I had convinced myself not to ever use them, that they were a waste of time and made me weak, but now I can’t stop them. I have nowhere to go since I’m underage, and all of the people I’d stay with live at least 15 minutes BY CAR away from me. There’s a hurricane coming my way too.

I knew today was too perfect. I knew something would ruin it. edit: I’m going to sleep so don’t worry if I don’t respond to you im not dead I’m just sobbing myself to sleep👍

Tags- no pressure, yall just are like the only comfort I can think of rn TvT

@someone-kill-the-ej

@l0gansab1tch (I’m not waiting until you’re online again babe I’m just gonna tag you)

@theduckwhostoleyourbread

@/xxpilz we already talked abt this privately so I don’t wanna tag u again but I’m putting u here so u know I’m not like excluding you

[pray4saint]

helloooooo!! back again!! (so sorry ^^”)

dteam taking care of sick reader hcs?? (separate)

tyy :)

dteam taking care of sick!reader

masterlist & descrip. pg. 13+. gn!reader.

a/n. don't be sorry i love seeing my moots in my inbox! & oml dteam n sick!reader literally make my heart sob in a good way

dream

this mf is texting his mom either asking her for a soup recipe or asking her to make for you because he remembers that soup always making him feel better when he was sick as a kid (and four months ago when he was sick, the soup helped then too 🙄)

when you push him away from you when he tries to hug you, he pouts like a baby

”clay, baby no, i don't wanna get you sick.” ”i don't care y/n i want to hug you. i promise you i'll be fine.” you look at him with brows furrowed. you knew he wouldn't be giving up all that easily so you give in. ”fine.” his eyes light up as he wraps his arms around you.

promises he'll be back in twenty minutes when his mom texts him that he can come pick up the soup and he is, bringing it to you in a mug

absolutely believes in home remedies and warmth solving all the sickness / meaning he's letting your snuggle into his chest and texting his mom about anything else she knows may help

also takes your phone when you complain about having a headache

makes sapnap tweet about him being so MIA from the internet

HOWEVER, that he absolutely takes selfies of him bringing you things and taking care of you for his snap story, because he's so silly like that

doesn't protest at all when you want to binge a show he doesn't like

but of course when you start to get better, he gets sick

”i can't believe i you got me sick.” he pouts and he is a little sarcastic in his tone but you only look at him with a slight scowl. ”i told you not to hug me clay. this is your fault.” ”you know what baby?” he looks at you but your scowl remains, ”it was totally worth it.” you nod to him. ”it better have been.”

sapnap

brings you over and settles you on the couch so that you get to have some social interaction, even if it's just his roommates when they come down to get water or snacks

takes you out for ice cream on the first day

always holding your hand when he's with you and walks you too and from the bathroom, almost as if he's scared you'll fall over and die

”sap i promise i'm fine, you don't have to walk me to the bathroom.” your boyfriend scoffs, hands hovering over your hips to make sure you don't fall. ”i'm not taking any chances darlin'.”

quick, light kisses at the backside base of your neck and on your shoulders

this guy buys like fourteen types of medicine and asks you which one you want to try because he doesn't know what'll work

when nothing works he asks his roommates and texts his mom

george gives him specific directions for scheduling and dream offers to get you food but that's all they can do / his mom and sisters come over and spend time with you, talking to you, making you food and doing your chores

also one day when his family is over to see you and you've given him approval, he does a valorant stream, smiling despite how many times he dies because he loves hearing your giggles mixed with those of his mom and sisters

his sisters definitely send him funny pictures of them and you and his mom laughing, to which he shows stream one of you posing in a funny way

also makes you do light exercise while you're sick so that you don't get worse

”c'mon y/n, i promise you this'll help.” ”i just wanna take a nap..” he presses a kiss to the top of your head, ”after these last two lunges i'll walk you back to the couch, okay?” all you do is nod at him, focused on getting back to your precious sleep.

george

at first he thinks you're kidding when you text him and tell him you're sick (mostly because that man is such a fucking germophobe)

when you call him, coughing, voice hoarse and nose red, he somehow lets go of every germophobic thought he's ever had and tells you he's coming to pick you up

you do not get to stay in your own home when you're sick, no you go over to his place, sleep in his bed while he sleeps on the couch and he acts like a real full-time care nurse

george sets the mug of tea down on the table next to the bed and smiles at you. your returned smile is weak. ”love is there anything else i can get you?” you shake your head and he looks down at his watch. ”alright, well in about thirty minutes you have to go to the bathroom again.” ”no i don't.” ”it's important while you're sick that you have regular trips to the washroom.” you look up at the ceiling, cursing yourself for falling for a man who acts like such a doctor.

– still absolutely refuses to let his mouth touch your skin while you're sick because he doesn't want to get sick himself

he will hold your hand or rub your back or your stomach, or even massage your shoulders but he washes his hands right afterwards every single time

george waking up every two and a half hours in the night to check on you, your temperature, if you need anything or to go to the bathroom, etc

also calls off all his streams despite the amount of times you told him it was fine and that you would be okay

”georgie i told you it's fine.” you try to protest but he's already turned his phone over and onto the tabled. ”nope, taking care of you comes first love.”

pray4saint© do not copy, translate or repost my work without my express permission.

[chainsawmanfan]

i don't deserve anyone 🤣

i dont know why i would think anyone would fall in love with me in the first place 🤣

so funny of me to think that someone would be attracted to me :3

i dont deserve love ^w^

and then why i end up shit talking myself i end up adding emoticons to lighten the mood and make people not wanna think they have to comfort me >:D

because i dont deserve comfort! :D

only good people deserved to be comforted! all my moots deserve to be comforted when theyre sad imo :D

i cant even comfort people because i barely know how to empathize! i barely even fucking show any form of emotions so how can i fucking comfort someone! :D

watching a comedy movie? will think its funny, wont laugh

watching somethin sad? might be sad, wont cry (except for failure: a love story, that made me sob at the end)

the only time i really cry are whenever im yelled and im only really yelled at when im being confronted by someone!

kinda afraid of confrontation my guys XD

id kms but i do not have the fucking ballsssssss

i mean

i have balls

but i do not have the balls to slit my throat or find something to hang myself

honestly they should bring those suicide booths from futurerama one time just so i can insert 25 cents and get killed in an instant!

actually nvmmmm im being selfish again! yet anothre reason why i dont ever deserve love ☺���

[areyouwaiting]

I posted 5,240 times in 2022

That's 4,687 more posts than 2021!

11 posts created (0%)

5,229 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@heavenbarnes

@mlmxreader

@satan-incarnate-666

@headlinespunk

@mecharex2

I tagged 738 of my posts in 2022

#simscc - 24 posts

#andor spoilers - 21 posts

#yeah - 20 posts

#yes - 20 posts

#ofmd - 20 posts

#fuck - 16 posts

#andor posting - 15 posts

#our flag means death - 11 posts

#babygirl posting - 11 posts

#help - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 113 characters

#writing a whole ass movie where just about him and he survives and liam neeson dies a horrible and gruesome death

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

reblogging so much fanfic privately because I wanna show my gratitude to the writer but I’m a wuss,,, a little pussy boy if you will

2 notes - Posted May 2, 2022

#4

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY BABEEEE *smooches you* 💖

THANK YOU BABE!!!!!! MWAH <3 💕

3 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

#3

Sobbing once again because my two best friends are openly discussing plans about going out or going on vacation together right in front of me and when I ask if I can come too they stop talking and don’t answer

3 notes - Posted May 6, 2022

#2

I was tagged by @mlmxreader and @onaiclockwork heh

Favorite colour: blue

Currently reading: Das Avalon Projekt

Last song: The Sea by Sierra Ferrell

Last movie: Two/One

Sweet/savoury/spicy: savoury

Currently working on: designing the characters for my graphic novel

I tag: @sabrewan @sailorbowie @junkieboyfriend @ronaldrx @annoying-astro @headlinespunk @king-trash-cryptid @gnrlkenob @richdesire @lookatyou-strawberrybun (I know I haven’t actually spoken to most of you but this is kinda fun and I’m curious)

4 notes - Posted October 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I was tagged by @sailorbowie for the 5 songs on repeat game hehe

1. White Room - Cream

2. The High Road - Broken Bells

3. Hermit The Frog - Marina and The Diamonds

4. Gilded Lily - Cults

5. Undiscovered First - Feist

(these are gonna change by next week trust me dkfjdk)

Tagging some moots: (you obviously don’t have to do this if you don’t wanna) @clonecaptainrex @spettrocoli @horrfilm @headlinespunk @king-trash-cryptid @sabrewan @onaiclockwork @lookatyou-strawberrybun @gnrlkenob @junkieboyfriend @richdesire

4 notes - Posted November 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[garoujo]

omg emmie!! i wanna rewatch knb too! i see soooo many ppl talking about it and i just wanna see kise again sobs!! but also the aomine obsession is SO REAL i used to have folders of each member of the kiseki no sedai n aomine n kise fought everyday for most amt of pictures!!! i also miss the writing fandom in general when it was real big! it was my first time w x reader fics n i was HOOKED!! also also, i saw u went priv for a bit! n i just hope ur doing well 💜💜 - 🥀

aaaaa hi bbie!!! omigosh we should totes rewatch it together!!! a load of my moots started watching / rewatching recently + it’s made me totally wanna rewatch too ໒꒰ྀི∗ɞ̴̶̷ ·̮ ɞ̴̶̷∗꒱ྀིა aomine + kise are soooo hot literally!!! i wish i’d seen the fandom when it was so big + alive . i think i hav a single aomine thirst in my mlist n that’s all sob ;__; but mwah! yes yes i was priv for a few hours but i am back now!!! i hope ur doing good also <33

[wakasa-wifey]

just randomly join bcs it looks fun

BUT YEA WDYM BY THIS- welp by the power of anime god then *flips hair everyone that sees this post on their dashboard is obligated to join the chain/j (it's ur choice lolol)

which character trope are you?

[keimisan]

closest moots? or blogs that you really like?

KWBSJWJW i'm surprised you'd want to know but thank you sm for asking 🥺 its been about two months of the start of this blog, and honestly, its been such a nice experience. I have met some wonderful people who are also chaotic. I have met zebra wakasa, pink teddy sanzu and cow (???) hanma.

the closest moot i have here are @rae-blogging and @blueprint-han . But they're not a tr blog, so i'm not including them here i guess. P

theres no order

my first ever moot here is @hanniejji I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE'S LIKE SO COOL and funny NAD SO NICE TO TALK TO. everytime a chapter or an episode drops, you'll catch me screaming in her inbox like some starved crow. Literally all of our convo is in caps lock, no kidding. my screaming buddy, simping buddy, and crying buddy in one package.

thenn @jyugosgf MY DESI SIS. like half the fandom is made of filipino population nd the other half is well, rest of the world. I never thought there'd be fellow desi blogs here. And PLS THE DESI RANTS/ DISCUSSIONS WE DID. Starting from momma baji caring for his hair in the most conventional indian way to om shanti om and deepika padukone, we've screamed. Damn it was so much fun. message for you if you see this bub: ily 🥺

@dr3ken ANOTHER DESI. she's funny, she's cool, her writings ABSOLUTELY CRAZY like bro did u learn that literature from shakespeare himself. i talk to her a lot, but in another social media. She texts like a loud punjabi AND PLS THE VIBE IS SO NICE LIKE you'll never be bored. Again, another caps lock buddy.

@sukunasbabymama first things first, she became my moot after i proposed to her. ma'am the proposal still stands- aNywAy, she's that one boss bitch who's also very comedic (you'll know if you read her works) i love how independent she is, and how free she thinks. Literally big sis energy, except that sis will take you out at 2 am to drink coke and throw the bottles into space with all the frustration you've got.

@sxlver-sweet the sweetest moot ever. she's an angel in human form, and a blessing to life. i went crazy over her works and sent an ask to yk, start communicating- she rb'ed that and deadass went WE NEED TO BE FRIENDS. that creme brule in my fridge that i'm eating slowly because i dont want it to end and will cry if i ever end it- thats her. also the only moot i've went jeogiyo noona hokshi namjachingu isseo (im so sorry if you dont get its, its kpop reference) and flirted like thrice with (probably) and will still continue to flirt because wkdjwjdjjw it is happiness.

and then @kallikrein my zebra wakasa comrade. i still feel no remorse for the amount of confusion we caused, nor the dash-clogging with countless reblogs we did. she's chaotic funny, and a professional charanon bringer. you literally can't but love her- there i said it.

@lila-skies i hyperventilated over her mitsuya request and thats it- thats how we became friends. SHE ALSO STANS RED-VELVET AND CHUNGHA LIKE please, you stan queens and i stan you.

@angrysupremacy a whole 24 carat gold with the cutest nose. i don't know why but i find her SO CUTE LIKE 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺. we fangirl about random tr posts on insta and its so nice talking to her! cute cute cute

@isuuki my bae. she too, is very sweet. brightens my day with her asks and makes me sob at the same time because --- death is coming and we're weeping every other day. i go 💕💞💖💗 Everytime i get an ask from her.

@tokyo-fukushu we dont have much interactions but i feel like she deserves a mention here. I'd definitely consider her one of my closest moots.

@uuden omg her works!! also simply her!! she's also really sweet! definitely in my closer moots list.

Last but not least, my cheese anonni (not mentioning you just in case) who also brings me serotonin. Shes so spontaneous and creative, as well as sweet. SHE GAVE ME HEART COOKIE DOUGH YALL 🥺

and @emergencyfoodpaimon 's posts are so fun to see. I really like seeing new things/fanarts. Also those heart memes make me go 💘💘💘💘

my moots' blogs are absolute masterpieces, and you'll totally love them. other than them, a few blogs that i really like are @kakuchan @maitani (my entire explore is filled with your content omg T.T) @harupill @manjikkai @everafterkeiji @ewitsren @red-beean @chif4yu @wwintersun sorry for the mindless tagging, please tell me if its bothering!

If you've read till the end, i applaud you omg. also, ship my moots with tr ask pspsppss, i really wanna do that.

[bambisgirl]

HELLAAURR IM HERE AGAIN 🤩 I was worried if my ask was eaten by tumblr or somethin cause ive seen a lot of accounts saying their asks got eaten :^((.

And YES IM SERIOUS !! Even before we were moots, as soon as i read the first few chapters of confident i just knew i was going to make a spread about it aaaaa. HEE'S LIVE !! SOBS I MISSED IT ����🥲 but i listened to it while doing assignments and..do you ever, just cry??? Hearing someone's laugh?? Cause i swear hearing his voice and laugh again made me so emotional 😣 we all missed him so much ♡

Aaa THANK YOU♡ for the mood board!! Absolutely mood about carnival, (your carnival themed blog is everything btw ) its my fave concept from enha too!! And AARGHH Drunk-Dazed is just a mega bop its so good its almost a year but i can never get over it.

oH?? You've decided a male lead ?? 👀👀 inch resting... totally not because Heeseung is my bias but im TEAM HEE 😔🤍 though its anyones game at this point Jake's the only one who hasnt confessed so what if 🤔. Qjdkqka im not big brain enough for this either way im excited on the outcome and i think eve's gonna have a big part in it. (Love eve btw i feel for her i might even make a spread for her just for fun lmao)

LONG ASS ANSWER— 🤡 Me sending another long ass ask sorry if its all rambles lmao, im doin alright and i hope you are too ♡♡

HI ECIL 💗💗 HEHE I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A GREAT DAY / NIGHT LOVE <333 i was super busy with uni so i was kinda inactive here for the past two days but IM BACK!! sorry for answering this later, i love talking to you so im taking my time whenever you send me something 🥺♡

I CANT EVEN LIKE IM SOOO HONORED SOMEONE AS TALENTED AS YOU WOULD MAKE A SPREAD ABOUT IT 😭😭 please im still not over it ;;

I SWEARRR hearing hee's laugh adds 5 years to my lifespan 😭😭 and him just humming to day6 here just... UGH I HAVE NO WORDS <//3 listening to him talk & sing while doing assignments must've been so healing 🥺💗 he's the best boy!!! <3

THANK YOU SO MUCH IM CRYING 😭😭 im still not 100% satisfied with my theme but im trying my best,,,, i've been using tumblr since?? 2013?? but never actually posted so i still have no idea what im doing KJDBSFV IM SO SORRY ;; but yes i am adding border carnival to everything about my existence <//3 issa lifestyle 😌✋🏻

AND YESSS hehe :D i was thinking about making multiple endings & not choose the male lead myself but,,, i wanna add some spice & angst to it sooo 🤪🤪 BTW ECIL IM SO SORRY ABOUT EVE HUN... please skip chap 42 then KDHSFJHSSHF

I LOOOVE LONG ASKS & just talking to you overall so feel free to rant / ramble / tell me anything hehe 🥰🥰

[wonwooridul]

check in tag ✅

Tagged by @sangyus , @dongkwan , @miingyu , @cheolgyu , @ohoshi , @24hoursofdaisy , @haniehae , @vernons , @xuboowoo , @sannie-hannie , @seungkwns 🥰🥰🥰

why did you choose your url?

there wasn’t any specific reason but it’s like shua-way, which sounds cute + yes I’ll choose shua’s way lmao

do you have any sideblogs?

I do have a sideblog for kbands @nflyingwe and the other two hourly blogs that I co-run!

how long have you been on Tumblr?

a year + a few days lol

do you have a queue tag?

I do but I don’t use it lol. It’s run to queue after “run to you”

why did you start the blog in the first place?

to keep up on svt content plus I always wanted to get into gfx and gifs so I just gave it a go when my bestfriend supported and I took a break from painting cause the block was getting too much.

why did you choose this pfp?

cause I love woozi and his nootnoot agenda. pls hes so fucking adorable with it I’m gonna sob and kith him

why did you choose your header?

being an ot13, I just went with what photo of any SVT member went with the colour palette i had in mind. bestie Carrie made it for me when I rebranded my blog, only trusting @art-hao with it cause hello? queen is amazing at what she does.

what’s your post with most notes?

For SVT, for some reason this one when I didn’t even bother to colour the gifs. And for my man Jackson Wang, this one

how many mutuals do you have?

again, somehow ALOT AND I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU MWAH. these days I’m mutual-ing more blogs with other groups cause otherwise same typa content is on the dash. (Not that I don’t love it but ukwim)

how many followers do you have ?

Little close to the 1k milestone 😳😳😳 (ily all <3)

following?

286. just as I said, trying to follow blogs with different contents and groups so one group doesn’t take up the dash

do you make shit post?

everything that comes out of my mouth is basically trash (and yes I talk a lot) so it’s tagged #lee trash talk.

how long do you use Tumblr each day?

some ungodly & unhealthy number of hours. Let’s pretend you don’t see my I-need-to-detached-myself-from-interactions-irl-&-otherwise self pls thankyou.

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

I come in peace bUT there was this one blog who had an argument with @xfirebenderx and I because they thought I shouldn’t be hosting 17 days of gyu even after everything was clear.

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

feels like guilty tripping ngl but also helps spread awareness over important stuff that needs to be addressed at times

do you like tag games?

Heck yeah I love love love them. It makes you interact with moots and I get to know more about them! I’m sorry if I do those later fjrjdj I always get tagged in a bunch of those at the same time and forget lmao

do you like ask games?

Also, HELL YEAH. Ask games feel more personal and I love them. I love making friends and love interactions with moots on the dash over stuff like this .

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

almost all of my mutuals are famous and known blogs in caratblr, I can’t name a few fjdkxk

 do you have a crush on a mutual?

Not crush-crush but @kwonthefire my wife <3. @jonghan my other half chaotic bestie (boochan)

tags?

@soonhoonsol @jonghan @call-me-horangi @hearttoshu @iiasha @lovehui @heartgyus @chawoongs @choibeomgyus @kwanies @leedk (only if you wanna! Sorry if you’ve been tagged before)

[katsulovee]

:¨·.·¨:

`·. Mutuals Appreciation post! ★°*ﾟ

bun being soft on main hours lol but i wanted to make an appreciation post for all my lovely mutuals because you all always been here for me and i just wanna show you my love and appreciation sobs

long post ahead and in no specific order; these are the people i’ve been talking to lately and would like to appreciate (but i do appreciate all my moots too)

@cutiekawa - first-ever wife <33, i love you so much and im so so glad to have you in my life babe. You were really the first mutual I actually talked to every single day and so so happy I got to meet you. I love talking to you every day and I can't wait for future adventures bub!

@peaxhcringe - listen here, I love you so much. I know we sometimes do be having hard times but you're always there for me and you're my best friend. There's literally so much I can say about you but thank you for taking a chance on me and I'm just forever grateful that I even dmed you on tumblr in the first place. I can't wait for more adventures with you.

@catzula - bye i hate you /j, NO ILY cause you're also in my wife harem and i know we have gotten closer and even though you're supposed to be sleeping you stay up and talk to me (which you should also be sleeping grrr). Our relationship is just amazing because we hate but love each other and you're always there for me AND YOU ALSO HAVE GREAT TASTE MWAH.

@snoozless - ELLE, you are just so so so amazing, ilysm and you're always there to listen to my vents and rants and you always want to help me. You show me so much love and support and I'm just so so glad i met you and I always love listening to your little rants and when you go on about things that make you happy, you're literally the definition of perfection and serotonin ilyyyy.

@eraser-baby - MY OTHER WIFEY, sara I LOVE YOU. I know we just started talking on this account even though I followed you on my old one BUT YOU'RE SO PRECIOUS. You're always there for me when I be having bad days and you always bring my askbox so much serotonin with your lovely memes. I AM SO GLAD WE ARE GETTING ALONG SO WELL cause i was lowkey afraid of you but to realize you're so lovely and sweet and wonderful.

@noya-sleftankle - MY WIFEYYYYYYY. You're my second wifey of course and I love you so much. Thank you for taking a chance on me when we first met and you are loved soooo much. I love our little check in we do with each other and the random convos in between. YOURE WRITING IS AMAZING AND ILYYYY.

@sugawaaras-deactivated20210426 - yeah babe i know you're deactivated but i can't leave you out. YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU and you're always there for me through the good times and bad and i just mwah i love you and I'm so glad we are such good friends <333

@kohi-zeri - hey you're so sexc hahaha, no kohi you're literally so nice and so calm and i just love talking to you on the server. You are like always there to also listen to my little vents and there to calm the chaos that happens with in the server. You are just so nice to know and you are also so lovely to hang around with and kohi stop being so perfect ily

@tetsulatte - ellie the baddie uwu. HEY ELLIE, I know we didn't talk for a long period of time but I love your presence you have. You radiate such warm energy and you bring so much joy and happiness with you. I know thing's may have been rough but I'm so proud of you for pushing through and I'm manifesting that testytube comes back and finds you <3

@milktyama - RINNIE!!! naurr rinnie ilysm and somehow you always know what I'm thinking which is like omg. You're like a little sister to me and I just love love being your friend. You bring so much positivity and I am just grateful that I meet you babe.

@sugas-sweetheart - ppsps sofia ilysm, thank you for listening to my random dms and ideas. We've been moots for so long and i feel like we have such a strong bond and i love talking to you and interacting with your posts and things hehe, ilysm baby <33

@deaf-bakugou-katsuki - my catboy, fine I'm gonna say it again, i love you catboy. I KNOW LIKE WHEN WE FIRST STARTED TALKING IT WAS SO AWKWARD but now you're like one of my other besties and my catboy of course. I love talking to you and spamming your askbox with nonsense everyday. stay forever wonderful (and i know you simp for me dummy just admit it)

@tooruluv - MYA!!! god i still remember the first time i followed you and i cant believe you, an amazing writer and person overall, consider me as a friend. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOU and you're so amazing and you're just such a wonderful person to talk to and you're really supportive.

@tsumue - RUNA HI, i know we don't really talk a lot a lot but whenever we do you're so sweet and kind. You care about my well being so much and it makes me love you even more, you are just so amazing and i hope we get to talk more soon!!

@u-make-my-heart-tsumtsum - REE YOU ARE SO SWEET TO ME, i remember like the first time we met was off an network and even though we both aren't in it anymore i enjoy seeing you on my dash and i love love love talking to you. You're always so sweet and gentle with me, thank you so much baby

that's all for right now loves, i was going to do all my moots but then we would be here for forever, I love all of you so much and you all have a special place in my heart <33

[inkykeiji]

Oh my gosh that raver Dabi outfit is so hot I’m 😩😩 I kinda wanna draw it omg…… but thank you for sharing!! I think you’re so amazing and talented and it really amazes me how much thought and effort and dedication you put behind everything you make (I’m kinda jelly!! Affectionately of course xx) ur one of the reasons I started writing…. U inspire me so much! I’d love to share something I wrote with you one day-! You mean a lot to me and my tumblr experience and I am so happy to be ur angel dollars 🥺 I hope one day I’m not shy enough to talk to u off anon so maybe we could be friends and moots and I’d love to share my writing and know what you think 💗 I’m so sorry for rambling and being annoying… I hope I didn’t bother u and ur having a nice day! -💸

HI HI ANGEL DOLLARS <33

ISN'T IT THOUGH!? ISN'T IT!!!!!!!!!! i love it so much hahahaha <333 it just really does feel like what he'd wear idk!! i see him as someone who's fairly like plain/classy but LOVES kandi lmao??? i dunno but when i was just looking around for general pictures of raves while writing that piece i came across that photo and was like 'OH YES, YES THIS IS THE ONE' lmao and then i just,,,, sent it to all of my friends like 'look at this dude from the 90s' LMAO <33

ANGEL DOLLARS BABIE IF YOU DRAW THAT I'LL ACTUALLY SOB HAHAHAHA that would be so so so cool!!!!

aw sweetpea thank you so much for such lovely words <33 i really appreciate them!!!! <3 i know i've said this before a billion times but writing truly is so important to me, i love it so dearly and hearing that you can tell how much it means to me and how much work i put into my pieces is very very special and means so much to me <3

AAAAAAH i'm so honoured to hear that, wow!!!! thank you for sharing that with me bb!! <333 i'm so proud of you for beginning your writing journey and i wish you nothing but the best!! <33 aw hehe i would once again be honoured to read your work one day <3 absolutely no pressure, though!!! you mean so much to me too, luv, i mean it!!! take your time, there's no rush <3 we can build up a friendship like this, and if you ever feel comfortable enough in the future to come off anon then you can <3 if you don't, that's okay, too!! we can still be friends either way!! <3

oh my gosh please don't apologize!!!!! there is absolutely no need for apologies bb <3 your message was so sweet and beautiful, and i cherish it a lot!! messages such as these are very special to me and are always held close to my heart <3 you could never bother me sweetpea!! i love talking to everyone here, sometimes it just takes me a few days to get back to someone!! i always like to sit down and dedicate the same energy and effort into my answers as you all do when you send your asks, you know? but sometimes it takes me a moment or two to find the time hehe <3 i hope that makes sense!!! either way, i appreciate you and your interaction so very much, and i will never take that for granted <333

i actually really love and value the time i set aside to answering asks, because it's almost like 'me and you' time in a way??? it's a time for me to just sit and be here with everyone, and it almost feels like i'm replying to penpals!! it's very special <3

[j0elmill3r]

Somebody Else

Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings; Swearing, FUCKING ANGST, yelling, break ups, Endgame!Steve [ew], real sad shit, Steve being a dick, Bucky being a real nice guy :)

word count; 2k

A/N; Usually, I don’t write this kind of thing but one of my moots needed some angst and who am I to deny someone some good old angst?

You could tell that when he got back, he would never stay with you. After seeing the real love of his life, you knew he would never be satisfied with you, and that was implying he ever was in the first place. You wished you could go back and listen to what your friends said, but you couldn’t, you were so head over heels for Captain America, you left everything and everyone behind for him, you were so naive. But there was still part of you that wished that Steve would come to his senses and realized that you loved him as much as Peggy ever could, and that once the nightmare was over, you could live the life you always wanted and give Steve all he ever wanted.

-

“And what do you plan on telling Y/N, your currently alive girlfriend?” You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, honest to God, you didn’t. But your name had been mentioned and you couldn’t help yourself. Your interest peaked when Bucky mentioned Steve telling you something. “You’re not seriously going to do this to her, are you?” Bucky asked Steve, who sighed and shook his head.

“When I saw her, Buck, I knew I had to go back. Hell, you could come with me,” Steve said, completely ignoring what Bucky was saying. “Look, Y/N, she’s beautiful and all, really, any guy would be happy to have her, but she’s not Peggy,” Steve continued. Your heart panged as Steve used your insecurities as an excuse to go back and leave you. Sighing and slumping your shoulders, you walked away from the room where Steve and Bucky were. 

“I cannot fucking believe you, Steve. You said you loved her,” Bucky said angrily. “And to do this to her, after she went to Peggy’s funeral with you. You better think of something to tell her, otherwise I’ll tell her,” Bucky grabbed his jacket and walked past Steve without so much as a goodbye, he was angry- no, infuriated. You didn’t deserve this, hell, no one did. As Bucky walked outside of the lake house, he saw you sitting on the steps, looking out into the water.

“Hey,” You said quietly as you looked behind you. “How are you doing?” It hurt you to act as if everything was okay, when everything was far from it. Bucky sighed as he sat down next to you.

“What did you hear?” He asked you. You turned to look at him as if he was crazy, raising your eyebrows.

“What do you mean?” You retorted. Bucky chuckled and shook his head.

“I’m not stupid, Y/N, I know you heard what me and Steve were talking about. So, I’ll ask again, what did you hear?” You sighed and ignored the tears burning in your eyes.

“Enough to know I’ll be single and broken hearted by tomorrow,” You said sadly. “I knew it was coming, but I guess I didn’t want to accept it,” 

“You can try to change his mind,” Bucky tried to cheer you up, but all he got from you was a dry and bitter laugh, one that was filled with pain.

“There’s no changing his mind, Bucky. You heard him, when he saw her, he had to go back for her,” You reminded the brunette super-soldier. “Was he going to tell me?” You asked him. You weren’t scared of much, but the answer to your question was one of the things that had you scared. Bucky couldn’t bear to look at your tear filled eyes.

“No, I don’t think so,” He admitted. You swallowed and nodded, feeling a deep pit grow in your stomach you could feel your heart falling into and shattering into a billion tiny pieces at the dark pit that was thousands of feet down. Bucky’s heart broke when he heard you let out a small sob, which you quickly tried to play off. “Do you need a minute?” Bucky asked. You nodded.

--

The small apartment you and Steve shared together felt different as you walked into it, maybe because you knew in the space of a few hours it would no longer be yours and Steve’s, but only yours. Steve was upstairs getting into bed while you had been out just walking and trying not to think about how you would deal with the loss of your boyfriend. 

“Y/N, is that you?!” Steve called from the shared bedroom. Looking up to where he was standing, you smiled sadly, but then made it happy, you couldn’t let him know that you knew, not yet. “You’re uncharacteristically quiet, Doll, what’s wrong?” He asked you, full of concern. It hurt, if he was so concerned, he wouldn’t be leaving. You walked up the stairs and wrapped your arms around Steve, kissing him in the process.

“Nothing, it’s just been a long couple of days. But, I need to ask you something,” You told him. Steve nodded and walked back to the bedroom, sitting on the bed and letting you get changed into your pyjamas, which was one of Steve’s old shirts. 

“What do you wanna talk about, doll?” He asked. You swallowed the lump growing in your throat and sighed, also ignoring the burning in your eyes.

“Have I done something wrong?! You asked him. Steve furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“No, why do you ask?” He countered. You sighed in exasperation.

“Then why are you leaving?” He was frozen. His face was the textbook definition of a deer caught in headlights.

“Y/N-”

“No. Don’t you fucking dare, Steve. When were you going to tell me? Or was I just supposed to never see you again?” You said angrily.

“Y/N, please, calm down and we can talk about this like adults,” Steve said. You laughed in his face at how ridiculous he was being, if he could only hear himself.

“Fuck off, Steve, I am not going to talk about this calmly. I just wanna know why, alright?” You asked him. 

“You know why, Y/N, this is Peggy,” Steve said.

“And this is us! I don’t know if you remember, Steve, but she’s dead! I went to her funeral with you 7 years ago and I remember you said after that I was the one you love,” You cried. Steve shook his head and scoffed.

“This is us? Y/N, there is no us, not any more. I didn’t want you to find out the way you did,” He said.

“You didn’t want me to find out, and that’s my problem. I dropped everything for you, I left behind my family and friends because I loved you so damn much, Steve. So much that when I heard you say what you said to Bucky, it felt like I was being stabbed with a hot knife through the heart by you yourself,” You ranted. “Why did you say that? And as an excuse to leave, Steve, really?” 

“Because it’s true, Y/N. You weren’t Peggy then, you aren’t Peggy now, and you won’t ever be Peggy,” He said calmly, but you could hear the venom in his voice.

“Did you ever mean anything you said?” You asked him quietly. It was another one of those questions that you feared, but already knew the answer to.

“No,” He looked up at you. “No, Y/N, I didn’t. And I’m sorry that I lead you on,”

“When did you stop loving me?” You tried your hardest to sound confident and like you weren’t breaking down completely inside, but it came out broken and defeated. 

“About 3 months ago,” He didn’t look at you, he knew what he had done, but he somehow couldn’t find it in him to feel sorry for what he did to you. All he knew was that he could go on with how his life was meant to go without having to worry about you.

“You’re not really sorry, Steve. I know you, and right now, God, I wish I didn’t. And what makes it worse, is the fact that if you came to me tomorrow and said that you changed your mind and realized that you were over Peggy, I would let you in. I would let you in quicker than ever, but I know that if it were vice versa, you wouldn’t,” You said dejectedly. “You can sleep here, I’ll go back to Bucky’s,” You pulled on a pair of shorts and grabbed your purse and phone. He said nothing as you went to leave.

“Wait, Y/N,” He called out. As you turned back to face him, you hoped that it would be to tell you that he was playing one sick joke on you and that he didn’t mean anything, and that he truly loved you. “Thank you,” “What for?” 

“Making me realize I never fell out of love with Peggy,” 

Your heart hit the bottom of that pit.

-

The night prior when you showed up outside of where Bucky was staying, he was more than concerned to see you standing there, tears streaming down your face and wearing only a t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts that were definitely a size too small for you. You explained everything to Bucky, throughout the tears you shed, he managed to make out most of what you said. Bucky was enraged at Steve, even more so than he already was. You stayed the night with Bucky, since you had passed out on the couch on his lap and he didn’t have the heart to move you, he also slept on the couch. He had convinced you to come with him and Sam to see Steve off.

“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back,” Steve warned Bucky. You knew of the joke, Bucky and Steve had told you about it at one of Tony’s parties, God, how you missed your billionaire best friend. Nat, too. She was the one who urged Steve to ask you out, you wished you had told her to leave it alone and there was nothing there, because now you knew there wasn’t.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you,” Bucky said. The pair hugged. “Gonna miss you pal,” Bucky told Steve, who didn’t say anything else. That pissed you off, he was Bucky’s best friend, how could he not say anything? Steve looked at you, and for a second, you could have sworn you saw guilt in his eyes. But quickly, he looked away from you and said nothing, not even a murmur of a goodbye. You closed your eyes, and when you opened them, Steve was gone.  Your heart hadn’t smashed when it hit the bottom of the pit, no, it just lay there, a small crack that over the period of about 12 hours had been growing and now, had smashed into millions, no longer thousands of pieces. Bucky took your hand in his flesh one, giving it a squeeze and mouthing a quick ‘are you okay’, to which you shook your head at, you were far from okay. Bucky saw that Sam and Bruce were bickering with each other, and led you away from what was happening.

“Bucky, I know I shouldn’t, but I still love him. And-and I don’t know if I can stop,” You cried. Bucky sat on the bench beside you and felt his heart break for you once again. 

“I know you love him, Y/N. And it’s going to be hard, but you have to get over him. Otherwise any time you think of him, it’s just going to hurt, plain and simple,” He told you. Taking a deep breath, you tried to nod, but it never came.

“It hurts, so fucking much,” Bucky nodded.

“I don’t wanna imagine how bad it does, doll, but it’s gonna get better. I promise, it does,” He assured you. “You can stay with me and Sam, if you want,” He offered. You looked up at him and smiled.

“Yeah, okay,” You agreed. Sam walked back over, a round bag in his hands. You knew Steve had gone through with it. Sam smiled at you apologetically, a smile that you returned. All you had to do now was pick up the pieces of your heart.

--

Permanent Taglist; Open!

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[garoujo]

emmie i just wanna say that your selfship posts are the cutest things ever and i love to see how happy they make you <3

truth be told, they’re very much inspiring me to do some with itto >////<

sobbing cause wat did i do 2 deserve u ૮ ๑ˊᯅ ฅ๑ ა pls this makes me sooooo ! happy ! cause i’m like wow my moots are probably like oh . fuck she’s spiralling again like yes ;> i am help i can’t help it ! pls write sum 4 u & itto i will literally die happy ! i luv seeing people talk about their selfships sob <33

[thewhumperinwhite]

Café: Roadside 2

Kent Projects, Sol Freezes, Pax Doesn’t.

TW for: minor character death; Bad Things Happening To Kids; bad things signaled by coughing which I recognize is not a great look for this the year of our lord 2020 and I apologize for that; trauma induced low self worth; passive suicidal tendencies (but like, at the VERY edge of “””passive”””); This Is A Zombie Story So Yeah Expect The Genre Conventions, You Can Tell It’s Tense Because Of How Many M Dashes There Are.

This is a bit shorter than past chapters but I wanted to let it breathe cause it’s, uh..... I’m Sorry, basically.

@whumpitywhumpwhump

Kent reaches the little girl before Sol can catch up with him, and Sol is extremely grateful to have grabbed his makeshift bat before they left the car lot, if only because it feels good to have something to hold onto.

He didn’t see her, before— he didn’t wake up until the car jolted to a stop agaisnt the guardrail, and wow he’s really getting tired of the car accidents— but she’s there, alright, sitting in the middle of the road, no older than nine, with tangled brown hair and her small hands pressed hard over her face.

Kent immediately crouches in front of her and smiles, and Sol tightens his hands on his bat and picks up his pace, hearing Pax growl behind him.

“Hi there,” Kent is saying, his velvet voice gentle. “You okay? Miss? Hey, it’s okay, we won’t hurt you.”

The little girl lowers her hands, slowly. Her eyes are full of tears, but they aren’t bloody, as far as Sol can tall; he feels his shoulders relax a little.

She looks up at Kent, her eyes very wide and her hands clasped tightly under her chin, but says nothing.

“Are you okay, honey?” Kent asks again, and when she doesn’t do anything but stare at him, he smiles and scoots back a little, away from her. “It’s okay. We want to help you, if you’ll let us. What’s your name?”

She sways a little, tears streaming down her face. “It— It’s Leah,” she says in a small voice. “I’m Leah. Please—” She brings her hands back up to her face again, and that’s when Sol sees the large bloodstain spreading across the collar of her shirt. “Please help me, it hurts so much— “

“Aw, shit,” Sol says, taking half a step back. Kent doesn’t move.

“Okay,” he says, reaching carefully forward to tuck a curl of hair behind her ear. He gives her plenty of space to move back, and she leans in slightly, shivering. “Okay. We’re gonna do our best to help you, alright? Do you live near here?”

“Kent,” Sol says.

The little girl hesitates, and then nods slowly. “I-I— I live that way,” she says, pointing off to the left side of the road. “B-but— but nobody’s— home.”

“Kent, come on, man, let’s go.”

“Nobody’s home?” Kent says sympathetically. “They left you all by yourself at night-time?”

Leah lowers her hands, her eyes widening even further, and then she covers her mouth, and shakes her head.

“My father— m— my father— “

“Aw, shit,” Sol says again. “Listen— kid—“

“Sol, shut up,” Kent says very gently. “What about your father, honey?”

“M-my father— m-my— my— “

The little girl tangles her hands in her hair and screams, so loudly that Kent does actually wince back— but then he recovers and very gently reaches for her wrists, pulling her hands away from her head.

“Okay,” he says desperately, “okay, it’s okay, you’re safe now, alright? We’re gonna take care of you. Paxon!”

“Yeah, what do you want,” Paxon says from behind him, and Sol, who almost forgot they existed, jumps badly. 

They’re standing on the shoulder, near the car, and looking determinedly down at the gravel. Their hand is very tight on the hilt of their sword.

“Do you have a phone?” Kent asks, and Paxon jumps live they’re shot. 

“Uh,” they say sharply, and then recover and reach into their pocket. “Y-yeah, yes, I got one.”

“I want you to call 911, okay?” He turns back to the little girl, smiling again. “We’re gonna get you all taken care of, okay? You’re safe with us.”

Leah gasps, and grabs at Kent’s sleeves, shaking her head wildly. “N-no! No, I can’t leave her! I can’t leave her!”

“Can’t leave who?” Kent frowns, eyes shining with distressed sympathy. “Honey, you’ve got to worry first about—“

She shakes her head again, her hands finding their way back into her hair. “She told me to wait, she told me to wait, but I got scared in the house with— “ She jerks her head back up to look at Kent, hands reaching jerkily for the collar of his jacket. “I have to wait! I have to wait until she comes back for me!”

Pax swears. “Moot point anyway, babe,” they say grimly, mashing the disconnect button on their phone with more force than they need. “Service is down. Guess that means this shit really is spreading.

Kent bites his lip, looking at the little girl, who is properly sobbing, now.

“Kent, come on,” Sol says, although the sound of the little girl’s tears is turning his stomach. “We can’t stay here and we can’t take her with us. We gotta go.”

“Shut the hell up,”  Kent snaps at him, and then his face immediately smoothes out. “It’s okay, honey. Who are you waiting for?”

“My sister—” she sobs. “Please, my big sister, she’ll come and find me, just please, please don’t leave me alone anymore, please—“

Sol winces.

“Okay,” Kent says simply. “Okay, I’ll wait with you here until she comes, okay?”

The little girl looks up at him like he’s a fucking angel of the lord, and then she throws her little arms around his neck and sobs loudly into his chest. Kent presses a hand over his mouth to keep from crying out when her forehead hits his collarbone, and pats her somewhat awkwardly on the shoulder with his free hand.

“Aw, fuck,” Sol says, running a hand through his hair.

Kent is silent for a second, and then he looks over his shoulder at Sol, his bruised-up face impassive. “You don’t have to stay with me. In fact, I’d kind of rather you didn’t. Why don’t you two go back to the city, or keep heading upstate until you find somewhere safe. I’m gonna stay here with Miss Leah.”

Sol shakes his head. “Aw, come on, man. Come on, you know you can’t do that.”

“It was very kind of you to come with me this far, Solemn. But I wouldn’t dream of asking you to stay. Thanks for all your help, both of you.”

Paxon very deliberately turns their back, shoulders tense.

“Kent,” Sol says very quietly. “You say just as well as I did, man.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Dammit, Kent— “

Leah’s hands tighten on the back of Kent’s jacket. Dammit, he doesn’t wanna say it.

“She’s bit, okay?” He shakes his head, then raises his voice a little. “Kid, listen— I’m sorry, okay?” She winces, curling tighter in on herself. She’s almost in Kent’s lap, now, and dammit, he needs to get out of there now. “I’m— I’m so goddamn sorry. I wish we could help you. But we can’t. Kent, come on.”

Leah’s small hands pull into fists. Kent winces as her forehead pushes against his collarbone. “You said,” she says softly. “You said you’d wait.”

Kent swallows hard, and puts his hand very gently on the top of her head, like he isn’t sure what else to do with it. “I said it and I meant it, honey.”

“Did you lie?” she says softly. Her voice is beginning to sound strangely— clotted. Wet, almost.

“Oh, shit,” Sol says.

“No, I didn’t,” Kent says in a very carefully measured voice, like he’s trying very hard to stay calm. “Sol doesn’t know what he’s talking about. If you want me to stay with you, I’ll stay with you. Okay?” 

Leah’s arms must be tightening around Kent’s shoulders, because he seems to be having trouble breathing, now. Sol raises his bat a little, having absolutely no damn idea what he’s planning to do with it.

“You promise?” Leah says softly, her head still buried against Kent’s chest. 

“Ah— I promise, honey. But, uh— “ He gasps a little. “Y-you’re— hurting me, sweetheart,” he says desperately.

Leah freezes, and then, very slowly, loosens her hands and shoves him backwards, away from her.

“A-alright, I’m sorry,” she says desperately, looking from Kent to Sol, and shifting into a crouch, like she’s getting ready to bolt. “I’m sorry, I’m— I’m sorry.”

“Th— that’s alright,” Kent says, breathlessly. He bites his lip. “Maybe if you just— if you just stay calm—”

Leah presses her hands over her mouth, harsh wet coughs wracking her small frame.

“Oh, no,” Kent says defeatedly, and fidgets like he isn’t sure if he should go over to help or run, which is the closest he’s come to showing any survival instincts at all.

Sol can’t do this. She’s a little kid, he can’t—

Leah lowers her hands slowly, staring at the blood that’s poured out of her mouth. Then she looks up at Kent, almost defensive. She shakes her head, backing away.

“I’m not,” she says. “I’m not like my father, I’m not, I— ah!” She stumbles and landed hard, her eyes filling with tears again.

“No, you’re not,” Kent agrees easily, getting slowly to his feet. “You’re a good girl. Right?”

Squeezing her eyes shut, she nods vigorously. “I’m good,” she whispers, pressing her bloody hands to the sides of her head. “I’m good, I’m good— “

“You are,” Kent says gently. “You’re perfect. So I want you to open your eyes, and breathe with me, okay?”

Leah opens her eyes, slowly. A small fleck of red is starting to grow in the left one. She lowers her hands, and nods again, slower.

Kent smiles. “There you go, that’s great. What a good girl. Okay, honey, we’re gonna breathe in together, real slow, okay?”

“Kent, what are you doing?”

“Sol, shut the fuck up for once,” Kent says, still in that low, soothing voice. “Let it out, now honey, okay? Through your mouth, slow, with me.”

Leah has squeezed her eyes shut, and is half curled in on herself, her hands tangled in her hair again, but she seems to be doing as she’s told.

“Kent, we don’t know if this’ll work,” Sol hisses, stepping closer to him, and Kent shoves him away, shooting him a glare. Sol realizes suddenly that he’s shaking.

“We won’t know unless we try,” he snaps under his breath. “Get back in the car if you’re so fucking scared. Okay,” he says brightly, turning back to Leah. “Now let’s breath in for a little longer, okay?” Can you do that for me, honey?”

Leah doesn’t respond. Her hands are in fists in her hair, and Sol doesn’t see her chest rising at all.

Kent squeezes his hands into fists to try and keep them from shaking, but it doesn’t work. “Honey?” he tries again, and his voice breaks on the second syllable.

A single drop of blood trembles in Leah’s eyelashes, and then falls from her closed eye and, in the sudden airless silence, Sol can almost hear it splash against her pajama pants.

Leah’s eyes snap open.

Sol’s hands loosen on the handle of his makeshift bat entirely of their own accord

(she’s a little girl i can’t i can’t i can’t)

and he doesn’t have time to do anything except reach uselessly for Kent’s collar to yank him away before there’s a bright flash of silver and the little girl’s head is separated from her shoulders.

Leah’s body falls almost without a sound— Sol’s bat, clattering to the asphalt, is louder.

“No,” Kent says, so softly Sol almost doesn’t hear it.

Paxon looks down at the blood on their sword like they want to be sick, just for a second, and then they toss their head and wipe it off on their pant leg.

“Come on, kids,” they say flatly. “The car’s just dented. It’ll drive. Let’s get fucking moving.”