#i wanna rip the bandaid off😭

[sophfandoms53]

Alright time to mourn and sob over Cory for the next hour

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Do It For Him | Keep Quiet For Me | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: You're on a family vacation but Jungkook wants you no matter the risk... Pairing: Daughter in law reader x Father in Law Jungkook (Yändere) Word Count: 2.3k~ Warnings: Explicit language, an injury and blood, smuttttt and infidelity (but it's difh so duh lmao) and barely edited but yeah that's normal for me lmao a/n: This is response to someone asking for a drabble of in regards to my answer on this ask thank you to the anon/s that were interested in this and sorry it took so long to get out 😭 I was very very burnt out on this story so I hope this'll make up for it Series Masterlist

"Do you need anything? I'm gonna run inside and go to the bathroom" I whisper to my husband while we're lounging outside with the rest of the family. "No that's okay, you go ahead" he says and I respond with a quick okay and give him a quick kiss before standing up. 

"Actually" he say, grabbing my hand to stop me from leaving just yet. I hum in acknowledgment, waiting to hear his request. "Do you think you could grab me another beer? Take your time in there though" he says giving me a sluggish smile, telling me he's fully relaxed and that I should probably follow up that beer with some water. "Sure honey" I say, grabbing both of our empty Kloud bottles and heading inside. 

Walking into the house I first go into the kitchen to throw away the bottles but on my way I grab my phone out of my pocket to check a notification that came in but before I'm even able to turn it on I feel one of the bottle slip from my grasp and fall on the floor, smashing and scattering the glass all over the floor. 

"Perfect" I groan under my breath and start crouching down to pick it all up. "Need a hand?" Jungkook asks raising his eyebrows after seeing the mess I've made. "No I'm fine I can take care of this on my own" I grumble and continue to pick up the shards while Jungkook just stands there staring at me. 

"What do you want Jungkook?" I ask after a few moments pass by and realize he's been starting at my chest this whole time. "Don't you think that bathing suit is a little...revealing?" he asks as he continues to stare, not even bothering to look me in the eye. 

"Last time I checked I didn't ask for your opinion and I'm still not asking for it now. Can you please just go back outside?" I ask and go to pick up another shard but when Jungkook tries to say something else I grab it too quickly and slice my hand.

"Shit" I say and stand up and grab a towel to prevent it from bleeding while I walk over to the bathroom to wash it. "There should be a first aid kit in there" Jungkook calls after me as he trails behind. "I know, why do you think I'm going to wash it in the bathroom instead of the kitchen?" I ask, pointing out how stupid it would be to tell me something I already am aware of. I've got accident prone kids so you would think it was important for me to find that right away. 

"Right" he mumbles to himself, trying to stem off the irritation in his voice. "What do you really want Jungkook?" I ask, since there's clearly something else he wants. 

"What I really wanna do is fuck that pretty attitude out of you but let's worry about fixing that hand up first Angel" he says, coming up behind me and placing a strong grasp on my hips as I wash the blood off. 

"Real funny Jeon now can you just leave? I can take care of this on my own" I say, clumsily trying to open the box but struggling to the point that Jungkook just opens it for me. "I said I could do it myself" I say, glaring at him even though I know I needed the help. "Sure you could" he responds with a taunting smile. 

Rolling my eyes at him I sift through the products and find an antiseptic and a bandaid big enough for the area. I go to rip the package open with my teeth but he takes it out of my hand before I'm able to. "I said I didn't want your help" I reply but hold out my hand anyways. "I know but you need it if we want to get this done before you bleed out" he says, focusing on the task at hand. 

"Don't be so dramatic I-" "Shh" "Did you ju-" "Shh" he shushes me again and I let out a big sigh but ultimately let him take care of it. 

"There, all better" he says, throwing away everything and I moved out of the way so he could use the sink to wash up. "Thank you" I mumble and he pauses for a second, "Thank you? Where's that smart mouth from earlier" he asks while drying his hands. "I was in pain and irritated alright just forget it" I say and turn to walk out. "That's the last time I'm saying thank you to you" I mumble and before I'm able to walk out of the bathroom he pull me back in. 

"What was that Angel? I didn't quiet catch that?" he asks, me now pressed up against the sink facing the mirror again with him pressing up against me. "I said that's the last time I'm saying thank you to you" I say glaring up at him in the mirror before focusing on trying to push him off. 

"Get off of me" I say, pushing my hips back against his and it then that I can feel how hard he's gotten. "That's not fair love. I took care of you and I think it's only fair if you help take care of me" he taunts rubbing his dick against my ass. "Jungkook stop everyone is outside" I plea, trying to knock some sense into him.

"Jungkook stop we can't do this" I say, slapping his hands away when they toy with the tie on my hip. "Why not angel? As long as you stay quiet no one will know" he says, pulling on the tie and sliding them down my legs, now only wearing my bikini top and a small cover I had over it which he slides down my shoulders next. 

"Let's take care of that attitude huh? Looks like someone forgot who they were talking to" he says, sliding his right hand down my stomach and his left up to hold my throat. "Jungkook please sto-" is all I manage to get out before he traces a finger through my folds, making me shudder at the contact. 

"Looks like someone was just begging to get fucked weren't they? Look" he say, showing me his finger, already soaked in my arousal. I try to look to turn my head away, hating that my body always responds to him but he grabs my jaw and turns me back to face the mirror. 

"Nuh uh, you're gonna be a good girl and watch. Watch me fuck that attitude right out of you just like I wanted to" he says, sliding his hand down from my jaw to my neck, applying just enough pressure to remind me of the control he has over me. 

"Let's see if you can cum on my fingers first huh? Think you could do that?" he asks and I don't answer, not wanting to play into his games. "Silent treatment huh? Cute" he says and applies more pressure before putting two fingers inside without warning. I choke back a moan, shocked up the stretch and the slight pain it brings. 

"If you want me to be gentle with you then you need to talk to me" he says, applying more pressure on my throat as if mocking me. Daring me to say something smart but I don't. "Let's try this again. You think you can cum on my fingers princess?" he asks and I shake my head slightly, wanting him to just fuck me and get this over with. 

"Really? Because I think you can. Let's test that theory" he says before he starts pushing his fingers in and out, dragging them along my walls while rubbing his thumb on my clit, all while holding my head up and making me watch as my face starts to contort in pleasure. "There you go princess, focus on how good it feels" he says, pumping his fingers in a bit faster and adding a third once I've stretched out enough. 

"You sure you can't cum? Because from the way you're body is talking to me looks like you're almost there" he taunts, taking note of how hard I'm squeezing his fingers and how my legs have already started shaking. I let out a choked back moan in response and I just hear a dry chuckle from behind, clearly enjoying my struggle in trying to keep quiet and he doesn't let up at all. 

"You're being stubborn aren't you? Trying to prove that I have to work harder to make you cum?" he growls in my ear as I continue to hold myself back, defying his claims and just waiting for him to fuck me and get it over with. 

"Fine since you want this cock so much then why don't you beg for it?" he says while taking out his cock and dragging them up and down my folds, making me purr at the sensation. 'Shit no I cannot give him the satisfaction of knowing that I'm enjoying this fuck!' 

"What was that?" he taunts, giving me a smug smile through the mirror which makes me look away again. He grabs my jaw roughly and brings my face back over again. "What was that princess? You like that?" he says doing it again, making my knees want to give out under me but he steadies me on my feet. 

"Something as simple as this is making you feel like that? Angel was sensitive now wasn't she? Just begging to get fucked and didn't know how to ask for it" he says and presses on my back making my cheek press up against the glass, my breath fogging up the mirror as he lines himself up, giving up on making me beg since we need to finish up fast before anyone notices. 

He pushes in without any notice leaving me biting down on my lip to muffle to sound but it only does so much. He inches inside of me giving me the smallest amount of time to adjust before he's bottomed out. 

"Look at you, such a dirty little slut letting me fuck you in here. Take you from behind while you watch us in the mirror. Is that something that turns you on Angel?" and at that my body betrays me and squeezes his cock, giving him the answer that he already knew would be true. "Fuck, you're incredible" he says, raking his eye up my form before meeting them in the mirror. 

"Keep quiet for me yeah? Wouldn't want anyone to know that you're taking my cock so well while your husband is outside now would we?" he says, trailing his hand up my back and finally untying the last two ties that are keeping my top on. "Or don't. I would love for them to hear what you sound like while you scream my name and beg for more but I don't think you want that now do you Princess?" he asks while placing a kiss on my neck. 

"N-no" I stutter out, knowing better than to not respond this time. He reaches his arm around and pulls me back up with his hand on my throat and makes me make eye contact with him through the mirror. "Then be good and cum on this cock. Can you do that?" he questions and I nod, not trusting my voice this time with the way he's rubbing up against my walls at this angle. 

He lets go of my throat and leaves me reaching out my arms to brace myself, my knuckle white from how hard I'm holding on and seconds later he pulls out, leaving just the tip inside before slamming into me, making me go on my tip toes from the force. He drills into me unapologetically while watching my face contort in pleasure through the mirror. 

I can't hold back and I end up letting out barely audible whimpers while he continues to abuse my aching cunt, already close to release. "Fuck Angel loosen up I can barely move" he grunts while I grip his dick so well, seconds from tipping over. "Cum" he growls in my ear and that's the last push I need to lose myself in the feeling, letting out a choked back sob and squirting all over him. 

"Shit" he grunts and picks up the pace of his thrusts, fucking me through my high and tipping himself over to reach his a minute later and he grabs onto my throat again, his other hand on my hip thrusting a few more times until he's spent and both of our releases are dripping out of me. 

"Fuck Princess I didn't know you could squirt" he says while roaming his hands up and down my body, touching me as much as he can before I push him off seconds later when that post nut clarity hits.

"Get out" I choke out, trying to calm myself down and bring my breathing back down to normal. "See you soon love" he says, placing a kiss on my shoulder before walking out. Not bothering to look around to see if anyone might see him leaving.  

I take a deep breath and turn on the shower, getting in and not bothering to wait for the water to heat up, letting myself deal with the chill it brings to my warm skin.

Standing with my face under the stream I try to drown out all the memories of what just happened and how I just let him do that to me. Why do I always just let him get his way? 

I can't keep doing this. I have to tell someone because this secret is suffocating me. 

If I keep it in much longer I don't know what'll become of the person I once was. 

I need to stop this, everything just needs to stop.   

Read the series from the beginning

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[chris-hallelujah]

Not a Secret Anymore | c.s.

Summary: A little mistake forces you and Chris to announce your previously secret relationship.

Contains: foul language, established relationship, minor cyberbullying, fluff, protective!Chris boyfriend!Chris, instagram post at the end

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: Hi everyone! This idea was sponsored by the boys streaming so much recently. All ideas are my own and I do not give permission for anyone to share this on another platform. BTW, the female character has the nam 'Bailie' because I personally don't love using "y/n" but hopefully that won't influence your feelings of the story.

Enjoy,

Billie

You were in Chris' bed watching him, Nick, and Matt stream on your laptop that was propped up next to you. You played Candy Crush while the boys played Dress to Impress on the stream. You knew they preferred to play other games, but the fans loved DTI so they played it every once in a while.

You and Chris had been together for almost a year, but kept it secret. You both had agreed that at your one year, you would hard launch. Chris was very nervous about how his fans were going to react. Not that he cared what they had to say about his personal life, but because he didn't want you getting hated on or attacked.

You weren't fully paying attention to the stream, more so just had it on in the background. It was about 6:00 and you were starting to get hungry. You texted Chris asking what the two of you were going to be doing for dinner. What you had not realized was that when you texted Chris, he happened to be showing the stream something on his phone. That chat started blowing up when they saw a notification come across his screen that read 'Bailie 💖' that was asking about dinner plans. "Motherfucker," Chris groaned as he snapped his phone quickly away from the camera. You still not having realized what happened, quickly looked at the computer to see what he was upset about. Your eyes widened seeing the chat.

Bailie??

WHO IS BAILIE??

Bet she's ugly

OMG DID YALL SEE THAT

DOES HE HAVE A GF

Back off bitch he's mine

OMG OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING

I want to have a heart by my name in his phone 😭

Whoever Bailie is she's lucky

You felt your heart pumping through your chest. You began to panic, Chris was the one who was more anxious about going public and now it was out there and it was kind of your fault.

"We'll be back," Matt said quickly before turning off the mic and camera. You quickly climbed out of the bed and went into Matt's room where the boys were. From your spot in the door way you could still see the chat blowing up. Chris got up once he saw you and pulled you into him.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I didn't know you had your phone out on camera. I didn't mean to I'm sorry," you let out a few panicked breaths, mumbling your apologies into his chest.

"Hey, hey, hey, kid, it's okay," he kissed the top of your head, "Not your fault. We were going to go public in a few months, yea? We just have to address it now." His calm demeanor relaxed you. "You wanna sit on the stream and let me introduce you? I think we just need to rip the bandaid off rather than trying to play it off." You nodded and he led you to the edge of Matt's bed where he sat next to you. Matt and Nick were each in a gaming chair on either side of you guys so you and Chris were in the middle of the camera view.

"Alright, you two ready?" Matt asked. You let out a deep breath that you didn't even realize you were holding, Chris grabbed your hand and interlocked your fingers.

"Ready," he gave Matt a nod and Matt turned the camera and microphone back on. The chat had slowed down a little bit but in the time you guys were all talking their viewer count had gone from about 300k views to 500k.

"Hey chat, uhhh, we're back with a special guest," Nick said looking over at you. You gave a small wave with the hand that wasn't holding Chris'.

"Everyone, this is Bailie, my girlfriend. Obviously this wasn't exactly how we had planned on telling you all, but, here we are," You let Chris take the lead in talking since you really didn't know what to say to his fans. This was his ball game. "Bailie and I have been together for about 10 months. We planned on telling all of you at the one year mark." The chat was blowing up again like crazy with mixed reactions. Somehow despite the chat scrolling so quickly you were easily able to pick out the negative ones. Words like 'fat', 'ugly', and worse were flying across the screen.

"Alright yea I'm turning this shit off," Matt said aggressively, disabling the chat.

"Yea this ends fucking here. I mean it with my whole heart when I say, if I see any negative comments about my girlfriend or my relationship, I will block you on everything. We are happy. If you all genuinely cared about me, you would respect that. I will not tolerate any sort of hate or negativity about my relationship," Chris sternly spoke to the camera. Your heart was hurting from the negative things you had already seen but fluttered at how protective he was over you.

"And that goes for all of us. We will all block you and ban you from all of our accounts," Nick added in, "Bailie has been such a great person to get to know and to be around. You all have even commented on Chris being more upbeat in videos over the last 10 months. Don't be fucking stupid about this and say something you'll regret."

"Now, we're going to turn the comments back on and take some questions, because I am sure you have some. But like Nick said, don't say something stupid and ruin it for everyone else," Chris said. Matt reached for his mouse and enabled comments again. They flooded in and were a bit hard to read but there were some questions that you saw repeated over and over. "How did you guys meet," Chris read, he turned to you, "Do you want to take this?"

"Yea, sure, um, we actually met at the beach. I was there with a group of friends and the boys were there with Nathan. We had asked them to play us in sand volleyball. After that we all went and got dinner-" you started to explain.

"And the chemistry between the two of them was like a fucking science class," Matt added in, earning a laugh from all of you.

"And then Chris and I kept in contact after that and our first date together was mini golf," you smiled and leaned toward the computer to find another question. "Can we have your socials? Sure! My Instagram is @ bailie2233 and the same for my TikTok."

"Will Bailie be in the videos?" Chris read, "Probably a few. Now that we're here, we will probably do a 'Meet Bailie' video for those who don't watch our streams. And she might be in videos here and there, but for the most part our content will remain the same." This was something you guys had agreed on a few months ago. You didn't want to intrude on the boys' content.

"Well, we're going to call it. But thank you guys for watching and being supportive of Chris and Bailie. We all love you and will see you in the Friday video," Matt said. You all waved and he turned the stream off.

Chris pulled out his phone, "I guess I can start posting you now," he said with a smile.

@ Christophersturniolo: hard launch w/ @ bailie2233

[yakuzabrainrotlive]

I have started Like A Dragon! I've actually already made it to chapter 5.

Why hadn't I made a post already, then?

Well, there's no sugar-coated way to put this so... let's just rip off the bandaid now.

I haven't really enjoyed myself playing this game this far. Yet. Maybe I will at some point. But for now I honestly just haven't had much to say in terms of what's happened in the plot besides the beginning. I don't hate the game, it's just that it hasn't been able to really hook me in yet.

I'll keep going since I've heard this game is one of the generally more loved ones in the franchise. And I know RGG loves its slow burn.

I hate to be a Negative Nancy, but I wanna be totally honest. I doubt y'all would want me to lie about how I feel about the game.

More about all that right at the end of the post. I will list my positives and negatives when it comes to this game (and talk about the battle system) down there.

I know this type of thing is common in RPGs, but I like it all the same. Neat little game mechanic. There's quite a few different ones here, but it's cool.

An interesting background for a main character. Yeah, being an orphan is more than common. But being raised by the employess in a soapland and the townsfolk around him? That's really out there - in a good way.

This was very sad. Ichi lost 15 years of his life to the joint and got nothing in return. The shock and disappointment on his face when he was released and there was just. No one waiting for him.

And after that, all that awaited him was just... betrayal. That's just brutal. I fully understand why Ichiban went into Total Denial Mode for a while; it must have been a totally incomprehensible and shocking situation.

-He got out of prison after 15 years and where he expected to find his family waiting for him, he found nobody. AND he suddenly had the freedom of choosing what to do, when to do it and where to go after 15 years. That can be scary.

-He witnessed how much the world and general society had changed in his absence and probably felt very confused.

-He saw his home totally wrecked and abandoned.

And now his mentor and beloved patriarch, the one who saved his life. The man he would have happily been ready to die for at any moment. That man had changed completely and acted like he didn't know Ichiban.

Yeah... the denial, frustration and desperation are totally valid.

Oh dear. Well, Kiryu wasn't there anymore, the Tojo upper brass kept changing and there was constant conflict within the clan itself. It was just a matter of time before Omi would take advantage of the situation.

I hope Majima and Daigo are okay. Or at least alive ;-;

*Faint sounds of Majima cackling in the distance*

Oops. Majima better hope Ichi doesn't find out who the driver was lmao. I feel bad for Ichiban, but I also love how this single random idea of Majima's still has these consequences that are brought up, even after all this time.

God bless Nanba. He's a sweetheart. That's all I can say about him. I also kinda like Adachi. I'm not attached to these side characters yet, but they're neat. I think they'll grow on me eventually, it's just that I tend to be slow when it comes to becoming attached to new characters.

Legends say that if you pull this bat out, Shinada will appear in front of you and ask for some money....

I did play through the whole soapland thing and then some. I don't have much to say 😭. We do have a woman fighting with us, finally after all this time! #Girlboss

I would honestly happily die for Nancy. No questions asked.

OKAY UHH POSITIVES AND NEGATIVES.

Positives:

-Ichiban

-Interesting premise

-The different jobs satisfy my hyper-optimizing, excel-sheet-making, micromanaging self

-Funny enemy titles like "Piss Wizard"

-Free full heal spots my beloveds❤️

-Voice acting (in the Japanese dub at least) is excellent

-Substories have been fun!

Negatives:

-EXP yield is... not optimal; grinding takes FOREVER unless you go fight higher-level people than yourself, but then the battles can take ages. Job exp grinding especially feels about as pleasant as pulling teeth.

Am I supposed to grind in this game?? I've started to wonder about that since it's such a slow process. I have absolutely no idea. Have I missed a thing that helps exp gain??

-Unless you get lucky with the ability to find treasure, money yield can be tight at times, too. Which is rough, considering the cost of gear with 4 team members (and probably backup members later).

-The premise is cool, but the stuff I've played through in terms of the plot after leaving Kamurocho hasn't been very interesting to me this far (early-to-mid chapter 5) :/

-Substories don't give you EXP 😭

How about the elephant in the room - the battle system?

Well. I'll come out with it straight away; I'm very, VERY picky when it comes to turn-based combat. Shin Megami Tensei and Persona have unfortunately spoiled me too much, so this game had some unfairly MASSIVE boots to fill. And it didn't quite fill them. My bar is way too high and I acknowledge that 100%.

I get that they didn't want to make the system completely "passive" by just having to select moves and it all going smoothly from here. But I dislike the timing-based quick time stuff in the middle of attacks and perfect guard. I can pull off the attack dmg boost thing most of the time, but perfect guard is just... it feels way more difficult to pull off than Tiger Drop in any previous game. It's very frustrating. I frankly feel stupid, having this difficult a time with it.

Grinding is further hindered by spread moves being kind of unreliable - if the enemies are spread out, you're only hitting a single foe. For now. Maybe there will be better moves later on.

Idk if it's just me, but characters' MP pools feel very limited compared to the cost of the moves combined with how little damage you do at times? Maybe it's just the fact that I'm in the earlier parts of the game, but I feel like I have to be replenishing MP constantly.

I like how all the different types of gear can have additional special effects. It's neat.

All in all the battle system feels... very laborius. I can work with it! Absolutely. I'm just not the biggest fan.

God, I wish I could just gush about this game and sing its praises, but that's not happening yet by a long shot. This far? Maybe a 6-6.5/10. I hope my opinion changes for the better as I progress; I really wanna love it as much as other fans seem to.

[cosmiclion]

hey Eli, me again 😁♥️

i wanna know about #2 on your wip list pls? i'm gonna regret it probably but hit me BABY ONE MORE TIME with the angst anyway!

Hi Kit and thank u for dropping by! 💙 First time I read this ask I had completely forgotten abt the WIP game (and no I didn't catch the "on your wip list" part, I can't read) and for a second I thought u were asking abt number 2 on my list of five songs I like to listen to and I was so confused as to what was so angsty abt Arabic Dance Mix music cxfcgfghf 😭

ANYWAY, number 2 is a Viktuuri one-shot that fuck knows when I'll finish I've been thinking about for a while now. And, well, best to rip the bandaid off now: it's a post-canon fic set shortly after Makkachin has inevitably died of old age (I'M SORRY Y'ALL, it will probably be the only time ever I mention Makka dying bc I just can't bear to think abt it, I just really need to release this one idea into the world :')). The wound is still fresh and Yuuri helps Viktor put up a shrine in their apartment in Russia to honor the dog, like the one he has back in Japan for Vicchan. It's full of feels, sweet memories and bonding over mutual grief and sharing your culture with your partner. Tbh I haven't written a lot of it yet but here's the only two lines I like enough to keep:

Viktor choked back a sob. "I only hope he knew how loved he was."

Yuuri hugged him even tighter. "Oh, Vitya, I have no doubt that he did."

----------

Thank u for asking!

[honeytonedhottie]

hi honey! so basically im really close friends with this girl, but i don't really wanna be friends with her anymore because her humour is mostly just making fun of me and we never can talk about anything serious yk? like if i wanna talk about smth im upset abt she just sorta brushes it off. and i know that stuff isn't a big deal but i just don't like being friends with her anymore. but the thing is we've been friends for ages and idk how to tell her in a nice way that i don't wanna stay friends- should i try to drift from her or should i just tell her?

in my opinion i think that its best to be straight forward, like, rip the bandaid off kinda thing 😭

[pirates-kaijus-and-demons-oh-my]

what about gaap from M!IK dating fem!human!reader like

before dating

confession

in relationships

leave to your choice what it will be (headcannons or scenario)

💐💐 omfg you have no idea how much I adore him 💗

I wanna see his face so bad especially after one of the recent chapters talking about it 😭😭

----

Surprisingly pretty shy. He normally is very extroverted and can go up to anyone and start talking, but you were the one person he couldn't get up the courage to talk to.

Elizabet had to step in and help after noticing that he likes you. So she started talking to you and when he got close, she roped him into the conversation and then dipped out when he relaxed and was comfortable talking to you.

The confession is short and to the point. He knew that if he hesitated once, he wouldn't be able to go through with it. So like ripping a bandaid off, he walking up to you when you were alone and blurted it out with a deep bow, sweating nervously.

He almost doesn't hear you respond in kind because his heart was beating so loud.

The sweetest boyfriend ever but sometimes you have to put your foot down. He will try to spoil you rotten and go along with anything you want so you have to force out of him what he wants to do so you can make sure he is enjoying himself just as much.

[vicsdeangelis]

yoooo i hate that we can't add 'keep reading' on anon bc i wanna tell u about my crush but i don't wanna bore your followers with like a wall of text😭 kinda just wanna rip the bandaid off and do it off anon, it's not like there's that much personal info on my page anyway

please tell us about your crush!!!!

[dearestclement1ne]

do you wanna find out by us spoiling it or by watching the video yourself after class? maybe you should turn your ask box off just in case 😭

no i want you guys to rip the bandaid off 😭 feel free to send live updates during it ill try to reply asap

[plutosmessenger]

lately i've been feeling kind of insecure i'm scared that if we do get together & break up, i will be known as the worst gf ever in existence and made fun of at sleep overs

so like i do rly wanna just ask her out and rip the bandaid off i can't help but feel like she can do smmm better than someone like me 😭😭

[possum-tooth]

"im not really in the right headspace to be a good bf" then why the Fuck did ur tinder profile say differently.

[ferg0s]

you’re just gonna have to rip the bandaid off at some point:(. if both of your parents are active and present in your life, definitely sit them down together and tell them. one might level the other one out lmao. and don’t go back on your choice cause you will regret it later on. i was gonna drop out in october but my mom convinced me to stay and try to pass all my classes but i failed all of them instead😭

and not you having my dream job. i hate my current job so i might look for a spot like that to work at. i haven’t been reading a lot mostly cause i need my own space for that and i currently don’t have it. but i started their eyes were watching god by zora neale hurston, i read dmx’s autobiography back in 10th grade and it was surprisingly good. there’s a shit ton of books i wanna buy too cause i don’t think i’ll read them if i borrow from the library or something.

what have you been reading tho?

So update: uni stuff is going horribly. I mentioned switching to things like social work cuz I hate accounting but the looks they gave me 😝 traumatizing. Ik it’s my life and I should do what I want but it’s so hard when u have that immigrant guilt looming over you. So BBA it is.

Working in a bookstore is honestly so fun. I’m still on a probation period so I’m not technically officially a permanent employee, but I love working here tbh. the discount is so good omg it’s already marked down so a book that’s typically 20 dollars is like 7 and I get 50% off. It gets like depressingly quiet some days but when it’s like booming it’s so fun. I worked at a TJMax style store before as seasonal. So traumatic. My managers were bitchy and everyone was so prissy and would behead you for asking a question or making a mistake. I literally have PTSD from that Lmaoo my manager called me into her office the other day and i was getting ready to hear that I’m fired but she’s like “can u just read and sign the new company policy”. The people u work with really make a difference.

Also I’m reading so many books atm.

- gone girl

-pet sematary (reading that with my bf it’s so fun)

- life of pi

- great gatsby

These are the ones I’m actively reading, I have more but I’m like a few pages in. I love reading books that have movies so I can compare and say the book was better. It stokes my ego

[zombabezzz]

These two guys came in to stock up the beer and one of them was looking at me and I noticed him and yeah he was cute i aint gonna lie. The whole vibe of that situation put me in a good mood because of stuff we were talking about and i guess i sort of came off as bubbly. I said bye to them and waved at the guy. Then couple mins later his friend comes in and tells me the other guy wants my number. It boosted my ego so much lmfao. I asked how old was he and he was in his 20s and idk i guess me trying to see how that looks from an outside pov was like hmm maybe i should say no. So i just said no but i cant help but think maybe i should of said yes or even told him to tell him to come inside himself. Idk im not that hung up on it because he thought i was cute and wanted my number like omg??? And he talked about me with his friend when they left, probably hyping me up?? Like yes pls lmfao. he was fine asl too but missory told me that im too young and i was like dam thats what im afraid of lmao idk if its a good idea or not but i think imma eventually gonna do it because no one around here is really around my age and most have experience already so its like my virgin ass has to rip the bandaid off someday. It just made me feel so much better about myself and hey he stocks here so maybe ill see him again and i might just say yes. I doubt i hurt his feelings cause I DOUBT im the only liquor store girl he’s seen at his job. But yeah It just makes me little nervous cause id wanna do shit in private and dont really want anybody in my family knowing im going out with guys. And it seems sm work to hide it all and gain experience like😭 id want to stop writing in here and start living lmfao. If i see him again i hope he asks again. But yeah point is that whole situation just reminded me that i need to work harder on myself like i need to be ready in every single way possible, physically, emotionally, financially, and gain my independence. I dont want to go to college but this is definitely gonna be good so i can get out there. (Also i can walk as much as i can and starve) Maybe its shitty rn but that whole interaction really motivated me because i realized that i can be desired at my worst so just imagine how ill be at my best. Im going to be my most perfect self when im 19. I have to give my everything to my future self. Shes gonna be so happy.

[jokerliss13]

On the one hand, apparently the ability to protect your child over yourself is instinctual. On the other hand, I am in so so much pain right now. I was walking with Zane. And in typical "Lissa" fashion I went from our grass onto the driveway, misjudged the small step up, and tripped. With Zane in my arms all I could to do was protect him from the driveway. So I proceeded to land on the left side of my face, pinkie, elbow, knee and mess up my big toe to boot. Zane was startled and scared but for the most part unscathed. My cheek burns, my knee hurts to move, my toe was already bruised and injured from accidentally dropping a full spray can of ant repellent on it yesterday and now looks even worse and is gonna bruise even more. This has been a painful week. But the ringing in my ear and the dizziness have subsided. And while I had a bandaid on my face I managed to keep Zane from ripping it off. So I guess those are some positives. But now Philip doesn't wanna go anywhere with me cuz I look like I got beat up. 🤣😭🤣 https://www.instagram.com/p/CcjmfdyLI1j/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=