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aegialia · 3 years ago

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self-indulgent reflection on being on tumblr

so i recently hit 1000 followers on here and this blog has existed for almost exactly 8 years, so i wanted to ramble about tumblr and my experience of it for awhile. under the cut so definitely feel free to ignore this.

i started this blog right around when i was fourteen and had just started high school. at that point, i was out to my parents (and no one else) as bi, i had an inkling i was Struggling with something but i had no idea what and felt like i couldnt actually acknowledge it, and i had left leaning but very vague politics. tumblr definitely has shaped my journey around sexuality/gender/mental health/politics, both for good and for ill.

for good:

seeing other ppl talk about being lesbians helped me realize i could be a lesbian w/o being a traitor to the concept of bisexuality. hearing trans ppl talk about their experiences and explaining non-binary stuff and dysphoria helped me understand what i was going through

i don’t like talking about my mental health stuff in detail on here, but suffice to say, i was Going Through it in high school. i’m still going through it now, but i am in a much better place (thank you medication and 7 years of therapy!). seeing ppl talk about the weird, dumb, awful parts of mental illness let me acknowledge that i was going through those things too, that i wasnt like evil for feeling like that, that i could change. people talking about adhd/autism was particularly helpful---being able to identify why i’d always felt like my brain just didn’t work right is the first step in the (ongoing) process of not hating myself for the way my brain works

politics is definitely the area where i think tumblr was the best for me. i got exposed to so many opinions i definitely wasn’t hearing in school, from intelligent, well-read people who could articulate theory in ways i could understand. tumblr didn’t give me my politics and i didn’t learn everything i know about theory from it, but the communities of people i was around pointed me in the right directions. tumblr was also a good place to learn how to react to criticism. this doesn’t seem to be most people’s experience, but getting called out over minor things on tumblr genuinely helped me learn how to take a step back, look at my behavior, apologize, and try to change, which, as it turns out, is a helpful skill irl as well

for ill:

wrt sexuality and gender, it’s probably pretty obvious someone who’s journey is ‘cis bi girl -> cis with a million different microlabels -> nb w a million different microlabels for both sexuality and gender -> nb butch lesbian who’s not super into romance’ would have some bad times on tumblr. the bi circles i was in made being a lesbian seem like an immoral choice, the ‘’’mogai’’’ (or whatever u wanna call them) circles made me feel like i had to divy up and perfectly label every aspect of myself in a way that really wasn’t helpful for me, the lesbian circles i was in made me feel like being a lesbian was about ending up in a monogamous butch/femme cottagecore relationship and that there was something wrong with me for not really wanting that. to be clear i think microlabels can be very helpful for people/a monogamous butch/femme relationship is a perfectly fine thing to want, they just didn’t work for me. im very very glad ive reached a point in my life where i dont feel the need to stay up to date on the latest discourse and am more focused on finding a way to exist that is comfortable for me and supporting my community irl. 10/10 would recommend to everyone

not going to get deep into it, but social media is. not good for my brain in general. i still enjoy using tumblr, but these days im pretty careful to step back from it frequently and treat it as an occasional hobby.

the cons of political stuff on tumblr are probably also very obvious. there are some just awful discussions on here and the culture surrounding the way we handle bad behavior and justice and accountability and working to become a better person and make up for the harm you’ve caused has historically been fucking awful and trying to unlearn it and find new ways to engage with this stuff is exhausting.

for all that i’ve changed over the course of having this blog, this blog has stayed pretty fucking static. i started out being super into diana wynne jones and the iliad and those are still two of my biggest interests and things i talk about the most on here. there are definitely specific things that have petered away (i started this blog almost entirely to keep up with good omens fan stuff and i pretty much haven’t touched it since the miniseries came out, i haven’t sought out pacific rim/supernatural/elementary/mcu content in years), but im still pretty much interested in the same things. i like relatively small fandoms, i like weird side characters, i like to be a grumpy child playing with my toys in the corner. when a fandom im in gets popular, i tend to stop engaging with it entirely (hello rqg/tma/good omens/enola holmes!). i dont think its a pretentious ‘i liked it before it was cool’ thing so much as a ‘people get Weird and awful when a fandom hits a certain level of popularity and there’s too much content and i really, really hate the bad faith arguments larger fandoms tend to spawn’ thing. i’ll consume content from big fandoms, but i pretty much refuse to actually engage with them at this point.

one of the stranger parts of my experience of tumblr is the social side. i’ve never really known how people make friends online---how do you go from liking each other’s posts and occasionally replying to them to actually being friends who communicate off social media? i’ve had conversations with ppl on tumblr and i’ve had sort-of friendships that are contained to tumblr where i’d like to get to know them better, but i’ve never figured out how to do that. my best friend’s job is pretty much to make friends/connections on the internet (she’s an activist and artist), my dad knows people everywhere in the world from twitter, and i’m just sitting here like a little old grandpa who doesn’t understand how you can have internet friends.

at this point in my life, i’m fine with this, but this has made me feel real fucking bad in the past---like, if everyone online, even the ppl who say they’re weird and brainbad in a similar way to me, can make friends on the internet, what’s wrong with me? particularly in high school and my first year of college, when i was just horribly lonely all the time, it made me feel super disconnected and like there was something fundamentally bad about me. these days, i’m a lot chiller about it. i use social media to engage with stuff i enjoy and share my thoughts about it. it’s okay that my social difficulties extend to me not knowing how to use the internet to socialize.

on a somewhat related topic, it’s wild that i have 1000 followers. obviously, that’s not an actually super large number and a huge number of them are probably bots or inactive. if you post consistently for eight years and follow lots of people, like i do, it’s not a surprise to end up with this many followers. it is also, thankfully, the sort of followers that are not fans. probably most ppl following this blog dont remember why they followed and dont know anything about me or my interests. this sounds like its meant to be depressing but it’s not. i like that my way of engaging w the internet lets me do pretty much whatever i want and no one will care. the mere concept of being. like. tumblr famous in any capacity, even just in one community/fandom, is viscerally horrifying to me.

i really enjoy the space i’ve created for myself on here. on one hand, going back through my blog is obviously embarrassing and full of hating my past self. on the other hand, i now have a very nice collection of things i enjoy in this blog. i like seeing what i’ve been interested in and (when i’m in a good mental health place) i like to be able to remember how i thought and talked about the things i loved when i was younger. im not at the place in my life where i can love a younger version of myself, but sometimes i can laugh at zir with a level of fondness.

i’ve always been paranoid about sharing details about my life on here (and the fact that my parents have always been able to see it certainly contributed), so the version of jack on here is a carefully curated version, who’s super enthusiastic about the things they love, was very conscientious about apologizing and trying to do better when ze messed up, and tried to be polite to others. that’s a younger version of myself that i’m closer to being able to have compassion for than the version i find in essays and poems and memories.

i’m starting grad school in ten days and i’m still using the blog i started when i began high school. tumblr has helped me in a lot of ways and hurt me in a lot of ways, but i still have to admit that it’s been a significant factor in shaping me. i’d be incredibly embarrassed to admit that irl, but it’s true. other than my family and like one friend, this blog is one of the only things that’s ‘known’ me since i started high school. i’ve changed so much in that time and im glad to have this weird little record of myself throughout those changes, even if i’d probably warn my younger self away from tumblr if i could go back in time.

tl;dr i have had a mixed experience on tumblr and i have mixed feelings about that experience. no idea if anyone read any of this very long, very rambling internet memoir

p.s. fun facts about this blog:

i’ve never changed my icon or blog title

i recently got a second version of the poster i got my blog title from. i chose my blog title by looking at what was hanging on the wall directly in front of me.

my original url was gloomthkin. this was not, as you’d probably assume, an otherkin thing. i had literally no idea what otherkin was at that point. i’d just learned the word gloomth from a bill bryson book and thought it would be cool n edgy to be the child of the quality of gloom. i changed my url after i learned what otherkin was and realized everyone probably assumed something about me that wasn’t true which i hated (not bc i had an issue w otherkin, just bc i don’t like ppl thinking untrue things about me)

during my good omens days, i once sent a tumblr ask to nail guyman which, in retrospect, was kinda rude. i stand by the content but id never send an ask like that now. he replied to it privately in a way that so deeply embarrassed and shamed 15 year old me that i’ve never gotten over it. i still get nervous and embarrassed when i see anything about him or his books

#gloomth and circumstance #this is definitely not required reading!#i just felt like rambling for a very long time about my feelings and my blog #w bonus blog trivia at the bottom that amuses me and probably no one else

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zanesgirlfriend · 6 years ago

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Princess | Jeff Wittek

Description: Jeff takes the reader and her kid to meet his friends.

Requested?: Yes by @jimininfiress : I’d really love if you’d do a Jeff imagine and the reader (his gf) has a baby girl from a previous relationship that didn’t end bad but they’re just not together anymore and in the vlog David says something to the reader like why would you let an ex convict near your daughter and Jeff gets defensive of you and your daughter. I just think Jeff would be an adorable dad even tho his past kinda sucks lmao. Thank you tho! ❤️

A/N: i made the kid a little bit older than a baby so i hope thats okay, but this is the cutest thing ive ever written i love this okay thank u enjoy

(also if you want a part two i'd be down let me know)

___________

"Princess, are you ready to go?" You called for your little girl, who refused to go by her name once Jeff started calling her Princess. You didn't mind it though, you were just happy she loved your boyfriend as much as you did.

"Yeah, Mommy!" Her sweet voice filled the room as she dragged her little backpack behind her.

"Are you absolutely sure you wanna spend your birthday weekend with Jeff?" You crouched down to her level. She nodded, her little dimples making you smile.

"I'm gonna be five, Mom, I'm basically a grown-up. I'm sure." You laughed at your sassy little girl as you scooped her up. You carried her into her bedroom.

"Okay, which stuffed animal do you wanna bring to Jeff's house?" You both stared at the wide array of plushies.

"I want Peff!" You rolled your eyes as you picked up Peff. He was a fluffy piggy that Jeff gave her on the day they met, her of course naming it 'Piggy Jeff' or Peff for short. She seemed to be infatuated with your boyfriend, but he didn't seem to mind.

You grabbed the small suitcase that had items for the both of you, and locked the door behind you as your daughter lead the way to the car.

When you arrived at Jeff's apartment, your little princess couldn't wait to see him. She unbuckled her car-seat herself, begging you to move faster. She had fun racing you to his door, and doing the special knock they'd come up with together. He opened the door, kneeling down to catch her as she ran into his arms. He stood up, her tiny little arms wrapped around his neck, and leaned over to peck your lips.

"She was very excited to see you." You smiled, shutting the door behind you as you entered his apartment.

"I missed my little princess, too." He kissed her forehead and put her down, knowing she was eager to pet Nerf.

"I also missed you." He wrapped his arms around your waist, bringing you in for a real kiss. Once he let you go, he grabbed the suitcase you were holding and took it into his room.

"I wanna meet Jeff's friends!" She tugged at your shirt, causing you to remember what all you'd promised her. A birthday weekend at Jeff's apartment, hanging out with Jeff's friends, and a birthday picnic in the park.

"I know, baby, but we gotta get lunch first." You reminded her about lunch as she glared at you.

"Princess, not baby. Jeff calls you baby." She corrected you.

"That's right, Princess." Jeff walked back into the living room. "What do you wanna get for lunch?"

"I want grilled cheese." She hugged Jeff's leg.

"Oh yeah, she's decided she doesn't wanna eat animals anymore, so we're gonna have to eat all the chicken nuggets in the freezer." You joked with Jeff.

"She's right, animals don't deserve that." He agreed with her.

"So everyone's a vegetarian now?" You admired your two favorite humans.

"Nah, steak tastes too good." Jeff smiled at you.

You all three headed to Jeff's car, Jeff of course carrying the little princess the whole way.

"She can walk, in case you forgot." You reminded him. You noticed her cling tighter to Jeff's neck.

"It's her birthday weekend, let her be pampered." He smiled, completely spoiling your adorable daughter.

You stopped at a little diner to eat, and then you were finally on the way to David's house. She had heard about David, and already seemed to love him, but you didn't know if she would like any of Jeff's other friends. You've hung out with them on numerous occasions, but something about bringing your daughter with you made you nervous.

"This house is pretty." Your daughter looked out the window towards David's massive house.

"Yeah, David's got a lot of pretty stuff." Jeff said as he turned the car off. He carried the little princess inside, sliding her shoes off and throwing them atop his own as he yelled for David.

"Oh my God, hiiiiiiii!" David almost melted when he saw your daughter. "I'm David." He smiled at her.

"I'm Princess." She stuck out her hand, her wrist bent.

"You gotta kiss her hand now." Jeff told David, leaning the kid in his arms more towards him. David kissed her hand as you spoke.

"She's only this spoiled around Jeff, I promise." You assured him. She reached her arms out towards David, latching onto his neck instead of Jeff.

"You get to carry me now." She said to him, he was surprised by the weight of the child.

"Tomorrow's also her birthday, so I'm spoilin' her a little extra." Jeff pulled her off of him, setting her on the ground. She immediately walked over to the table, grabbing David's camera.

"No, no, no, don't touch that!" David reprimanded her.

"No she loves to vlog, you should turn it on, she won't break it I promise." You tell David.

"She told me she wants to be a vlogger when she grows up." Jeff laughed as David walked over to the tot. He turned the camera on and pressed RECORD.

"Hi, I'm Princess, welcome to my castle." She pointed the heavy camera towards herself. "I'm gonna give you a castle tour . . ." She continued on, Jeff following her towards Natalie's room.

"She's hilarious." David said to you.

"Is she the newest member of the vlog squad then?" You laughed, sitting on the couch.

"Yeah, she can replace Jonah." You both laughed in unison. "I'm surprised you let me near her, let alone Jeff." David said, grabbing his laptop.

"He's my boyfriend, why wouldn't he be near her?" You were utterly confused. David looked at you as if you were stupid.

"He's an ex-convict. Ex-drug dealer. Probably a bad influence for a toddler." He said. You were astounded by his idocracy.

"Yeah, keyword being ex-" You took a deep breath before you blew up. "He has been to jail and he used to sell drugs, but he's different now. Now he's a good person. He is sweet to me and my kid. He takes care of us. He is the best Dad she's ever had, and they're not even related. He loves her, and she loves him, and I would never separate them because of some stupid mistakes he made years ago."

David looked dumbfounded.

"Oh my God, you're adorable." Natalie followed your daughter back out into the living room, Jeff not too far behind. Perfect timing.

"Isn't she?" Jeff agreed, his eyes filled with love for your child.

"And this is my sleep-pod. All you do is jump in and it swallows you while you sleep." She pointed the camera at David's LoveSac. Her attention shifted as the front door opened, running to meet whoever was at the door.

"No running!" You called after her, not wanting her to get hurt.

"Hi, I'm Princess, I'm a vlogger." She pointed the camera up towards Heath and Mariah's faces.

"Aww, hi!" They both cooed at her, happy to see a cute little face. They introduced themselves, Heath of course being forced to kiss her hand.

"Hey, I'm sorry. What I said was really rude." David leaned over and apologized while everyone was paying attention to the little princess.

"What'd he say?" Jeff asked you.

"I'll tell you later, don't worry about it." Your hand laced with his.

The same sort of hand-kiss introduction thing happened all evening as more and more friends showed up. David filmed a few cute bits with your daughter, and she loved every second of it. She found some pizza in the fridge, splitting a slice with Jeff before falling asleep on his chest.

"Thank you for being such a good 'Dad' to her." You kissed Jeff, really appreciating everything he does.

"It's no problem, I love her, and I love you. Plus the single moms really love the Hot Dad at the playground." He joked with you. You made a fake 'shocked' expression before laughing.

"Hey, keep talking like that and I'm gonna be a single mom." You smiled at him, happy with the little family you had created.

#jeff wittek imagine #jeff imagine #jeff x reader #jeff #jeff wittek #david #david x reader #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik imagines #david dobrik #davids vlogs #vloge squad imagines #vlog squad imagine #vlog squad #natalie mariduena #natalie #vlogsquad natalie #heath hussar #mariah amato

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aurora-daily · 5 years ago

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AURORA’s Q&A during Spotify Listening Party

Q: Hello Aurora. Is „In Bottles“ related to „In Boxes“ because in „In Bottles“ you are singing underneath her bed and when she is lying in bed maybe she is laying on her spine. Is that the story behind that phrase ? ❤ You are the Best and i Love you ❤

A: they are both about the same lady... that is really well spotted. It has a really strange meaning to it. she wants to be close to people in a very strange way... !

Q: Aurora what is your favourite song on the album?

A: it changes from day to day.. right now its Soulless Creatures. because of its meaning.

Q: Where do you record the álbum?

A: i did it in bergen last november with Magnus <3

Q: Can we expect Step 3, or it's the end of "A Different Kind" era?

A: this is definitely not the last step... but i cannot tell you yet when it will be released.. !

Q: when is the time of day/night you write music the most?

A: i definitely have the most ideas at night, or when im about to fall asleep, sometimes it can keep me awake for hours later than i should stay awake.. but its worth it.

Q: Will you travel to Vietnam???

A: YES

Q: Are you singing in Frozen 2?

A: i might be heard in the wind…

Q: your birth name represents just your music, the universe, peace ... have you thought how would you call yourself artistically if you had another birth name? Which one identifies you?

A: ive always felt that my name fits me so well, and i remember when i learnt what it meant when i was young that i took it like a little mission in life. to create a little light in the world, in one way we all should

Q: Aurora, I meet you the last month and I gave you a skirt, I just wanna say sorry cause it was too big, And I send you a message in your private (sorry)Facebook horse account, I need and advice

A: i love it!! im going to make it a bit smaller, haha !thank you so much!

Q: Do you make your own clothes?

A: yes i make them with my sister Viktoria who knows how to sew!!! i like to know where the clothes comes from, and with her i know the source of the clothes, which feels very good! i like to wear whatever feels good, so its good to have someone who can turn my dreams into real clothes!

Q: Tell us about your language in ADKOH single... what does it mean?

A: its my own language, and one day i will tell you. its based around its core which is human emotions. i want to make it easier for us to discuss our emotions with the world!

Q: Thank you for supporting us - LGBT. I must admit that it is very useful in Poland. We fight a homophobic government and you give us power

A: that moves my heart so much to hear. im sending you so much love. and that is just the beauty of love - it is so much bigger than us. anyone who dares raise a fist against it will always loose the fight. love will win <3 always.

Q: I have found that this album is best fully realized while being outside. I've been running and interpreptly dancing around my neighborhood everyday and it's transportive

A: i love this so much `3

Q: What was your favourite song to produce?📝🤔

A: i loved producing Soulless Creatures and Appletree. ADKOH was also a journey of its own kind. very lovey. Ive used samples from my life, and mixed them with the beauty of electronic music. A bit of both worlds, living in harmony.

Q: How long did it take to right this album? Where did you write?

A: ITs taken me two years to work on all the songs from both Step I and II. and producing Step II took a whole month, with no sleep and long days me and Magnus Skylstad made the whole thing with some help from a norwegian artist called Askjell (on Daydreamer and ADKOH) we cried so much. and laughed. so many emotions. very very beautiful.

Q: Why is 8 your favourite number?

A: i cannot really explain it. i just feel its right. i have a very strange relationship with numbers, i need them to be right. and 8 and 11 have always made me feel so good. their both the same when upside down and mirrored which i love. very reliable.

Q: Can we expect some songs in Norwegian?

A: yes...!

Q: We know in AMDGMAAF you had a sample of you hugging a tree, have you sampled anything unusual/interesting and put it in this album?👀

A: ive sampled all kinds of stuff, my breath, rain, steps, books, washing machines, crushing things, animals, chewing... etc. its so fun. i love working that way. On soulless creatures i have the sound of me tapping my own chest to my heart. <3

Q: "fear not, fear not when you go" that part gets me every time (and i have listened to this song like 100 times)

A: <3 <3 <3 !!!

Q: how do you keep up with all the questions? hahah

A: i dont!! hahaha

Q: do you write lyrics for other artists?

A: yes sometimes i do!!

Q: The symbols in adkoh are a new language right? But are they letters, more like a code, or it's literally a new language where symbols can be a entire word?

A: their all a part of my own language, one day i will show you all of it.

Q: I think your albums are literature, it is really interesting how there is a connection between all of them. From awakening to mothership, is there any plans of releasing a book some day?

A: i will x !!

Q: are there any more music videos coming?

A: Y to the E to the S

Q: I know some people in Tromso but theyre a bit strange. Is everyone from Tromso strange?

A: yes.

Q: Everyone is talking so quickly, I guess I'll shout into the void :p If you get a chance to read this Aurora, I know that you know how many lives you've touched so I'm not special for saying that you as a person, as well as your music, have saved my life. You're so good at making us all feel like your best friends, but I know what it's like to not be a very social person and it's scary. You're so brave and wonderfully peculiar in your heart. please stay true to yourself.

A: thank you so so much for these beautiful words x i promise i will. forever and ever.

Q: the choir goes SO GOOD with in bottles YOUR MIND

A: !!!!!!!!!

Q: Your numbers are 8 & 11? Very cute, in spirit these are good numbers, one means positivity and the other is financial abundance

A: i dont believe any human being could know the true spiritual meaning of them, they belong with the gods, or the trees. everything that we dont know x

Q: .I want to know about that percussion sound that's in a different kind of human...it sounds so different but really "authentic", I know that sounds weird

A: i am really into strange percussion. and im a percussionist myself so i tend to focus a lot on the rhythms. i had the beat for this song in my mind days before even writing it. and i wanted it to sound like something that doesnt exist from before. like ship. the mothership.

Q: What's your patronus?

A: a big wolf. <3

Q: I feel like an ant!

A: me too.

Q: Which song are you most excited to play live that you haven’t already?💃🏼🎶

A: appletree and daydreamer. so full of energy.

Q: Hei Aurora ^_^ En hilsen fra *nesten* nabokommunen din, Kvam! Jeg så deg for første gang på Bygdalarm i 2016. Jeg lytter til musikken din hver dag, den åpner dører, gir meg friske pust. Jeg ville egentlig bare si at jeg er så stolt over deg, selv om jeg aldri ordentlig har "møtt" og snakket med deg. Jeg føler du lager sanger som representerer en helt spesiell del av det å være menneske. Å ha et åpent sinn, se ting som andre ikke ser. Vokste selv opp midt i en skog, tekstene går rett til hjertet!

A: tusen tusen takk. dette var helt nydelig.

Q: Where did you get the inspiration to make "Apple Tree", not only the lyrics, but the sound of it since it's different from anything you've ever made.

A: i dont really like to put any walls around myself, so that day i felt like i wanted to do whatever made me feel nice. and i felt very playful! i have always liked to make different kind of music, like The seed and animal, it happened quiet and under the water etc. its nice to try lots of different expressions. thats what its all about.

Q: I just want to thank you. I've recently been diagnosed with ME, also known as chronic fatuige syndrome. Your songs fill me with strength and energy when I listen to them<3

A: that is so good to hear. I am so sorry youve gotten this extra thing to deal with in your life. im sending you lots of strength. and love.

Q: Do you believe in aliens? I do!!

A: of course!!!!

Q: Have you ever listened to a Black Metal band?

A: yes i love it so much. i love Gojira, Mastodon, Tool, System of A down and Perfect circle too. very nice.

Q: what do you think is the most important message behind your album? <3

A: I think all of them are. The fight for love, the fight for nature. the whole thing about our consuming, and the way we dont appreciate what we have. about having respect for eachother and mother earth. its about so many things that i care about. maybe the environmental focus is one of the most important message right now, and that we all can save the world together. In appletree its all about that. We. can. save. the. world.

Q: Is your language an alien language and are you actually an alien?

A: i am an alien yes, but i belong here on earth too. my language is al alien language that i have made x

Q: Just want to let you know that your music is well-loved in Asia even many of us don't speak English,your music is no boundaries,can we except your Asia tour soon ?

A: my dream is to go to asia. so yes. YES

Q: i don’t use spotify and i couldn’t get this stream to work so i deadass created an account and bought premium for this smh i love u aurorie

A: Oh My GOD!! really!_! that is amazing. thank you for doing all that to be here with us !

Q: Mothership is so important and special to me because last year my best friend committed suicide and it makes me feel like she's gone to a safer place ✨🌿💗

A: i am so sorry to hear. The Mothership will take those people, who felt like the world was a too dark place to be. Its a horrible thing when people think that is the only way out. Sending love to you and the family who lost a loved one. She is in a safe place now.

Q: Have you ever attended piano lessons, can you read notes, or rather you are self-taught

A: i dont know anything about music theory, im self taught!

Q: Aurora, I'm a painter. And I can not get my paintbrushes and paint something without listening to their songs. You inspire me a lot. That's the reason I can do everything I do. Thank you for that.

A: aaaaahhhhh. thank you so much for letting me inspire you. thank you. keep painting!

Q: aurora do you sometimes feel like talking to trees and plants? cause i do sometimes and they are beautiful creatures! they have a very caring and loving energy!!

A: i do too!!!

HEllo hELlo you lovely people. I am really trying my best to answer all of you. but its as difficult as building a castle of melted chocolate. Soon the chat will close, but before i go. i want to say thank you to all of you. you are such great people, and i am so happy to share this album with you. thank you for diving into it <3

thank you all for coming!!! will stay for 11 minutes more until the chat closes!!! JUST HAD TO SAY THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

Q: What is the emotionally hardest song for you to sing from your new album?

A: i think Dance on the moon. x

Q: I seen in a fanwiki page that you like minecraft, DO YOU PLAY MINECRAFT???

A: i love it so much. i always play on creative mode though!!

Q: Do you intend to write a book someday? We would love to read it!🥚

A: i will, and i think its so nice that you are all interested in me doing so!

Q: The beat from apple tree has any inspiration from olodum ? (A Brazilian type of beat )

A: YES! and hip hop too. i felt it deserved a very alive and bad-*** groove.

Q: Have you dealt with anxiety and/or depression?

A: Yes i have. its a long time ago since i was depressed, its so strange how ******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************!!

Q: Are there any songs that almost didn’t make it to the album?👀🎶

A: actually daydreamer and dance on the moon just barely made it!!!

Q: what helped you get through the lows of your life?

A: making music. and giving myself time to heal. ive never felt guilty for being a bit out of ... tune with myself. being an emotional human being is hard, but at least you can always make yourself feel better by finding an outlet. or talking. or crying. just let yourself feel, dont escape from it. then suddently youll feel better one day.

Q: AURORA THE FATE OF THIS WORLD DEPENDS ON YOUR ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION!!!!!!! what is your favourite primate? is it the humble chimpanzee which would align with my favourite? or perhaps the solid orangutang. i am curious to see

A: haha this is so funny. i love the orangutang.

Q: You’ve talked sometimes about there are some things on the industry and big companies that you don’t like. How do you deal with it? How is your relationship with big production companies?

A: just remember to always follow my instinct. <3

and thank you for all the birthday wishes!!!!

Q: AURORA'S FANS ARE THE SWEETEST!! I LOVE YALL AND AURORA SO MUCH!! YOU MAKE THIS PLACE SUCH A SAFE PLACE TO SHARE, AND TO THE FANS TRYING TO PUT DANCE ON MOON ON NASA'S PLAYLIST, YALL ARE THE B ES T!!!!!!

A: I KNOW!!

Q: Aurora, Is Star wars still on you phone ring?

A: hahah yes!!

Q: Do you read the messages we write on instagram

A: yes <3

Q: Aurora your a inspiration and a safe place for a lot of LGBT+ that listen to your song, especially me, thanks for all the love you spread across the world

A: thank you so much! <3 sending you love. love love love love love

[credits for this recap!]

#aurora #aurora aksnes #interviews #spotify #in bottles #in boxes #soulless creatures #apple tree #step 2 #magnus #askjell #daydreamer #adkoh

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long-live-the-castaways · 6 years ago

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Bandito tour-Nashville

So this is later than usual but here it goes, my experience of the first show after Twenty One Pilots had been on hiatus for over a year.

Getting there:

So i had to work a closing shift that let out at 9:30 on monday but right after i booked it to get Kaylee and then we booked it to nashville. The drive was honestly great. It was so much better than the drive last month and me and K rolled the windows down and blasted Trench. It was so peaceful. Also, if people heard some of the things we say out of context things would get very awkward.

The line:

wowowowow i actually missed camping out i hadnt done it since TDC. But we got there about 3am and it was so cold!!?!??! Kaylee ended up going to my car to sleep. So when we got there we set up her little brothers tent which was way to small for the both of us but we made it work. But like after 30 mins they moved the line and we were trying to get everything so we threw the stuff in the tent and just picked it up and shuffled our way. About 6am us and this dude named Ryan(?) went to starbucks. It was pretty chill the rest of the day i forgot the other dudes name but i painted his nails yellow and he let us have some duct tape so hes cool. And there were these people next to us that are my new best friends. Me and one of them went to get pizza for them and they let us have some. Despite me shivering the entire time i absolutely loved it. Me and Kaylee got 211 in line until they started scrunching for the show then we got 1163 i think? (163) im not sure how but it was really weird how they did everything. bUT bridgestone was super nice. There was a guy helping set the merch booth and when he saw how excited we were getting about the new merch he said "GA is gonna be blown away" and when they said that it wouldnt open till another 30 mins someone asked if we could still watch what was being put up and another guy said "of course!" then when we got in they made us all get in a line and told us that when we get in to sit down in our spot and they were gonna bring us water bc they didnt want anyone to pass out during the concert. It was so nice and every single one of the workers made it such a good experience for everyone. During the show they passed water around and made us waterfall it so other people could drink it too then near the end they just started handing out the bottles. Ive never seen an arena care so much it was amazing.

Max Frost:

What a dude! I had been listening to him for a tad before the concert in preparation but nothing could prepare me for how hyped he was. I didnt know he was doing everything so that was super cool to watch and uh Money Problems is my favorite and was so great live. Those high notes? He hit them. Love this guy and cant wait to see what the future holds for him.

Awolnation:

Um ok the guitarist didnt have to go THAT hard. i could lay on the ground and be at peace listening to them but i could also mosh like hell. They're super fucking good???? Like idk what i was expecting but they exceeded it. Really wanna go see them again...multiple times.

Twenty One Pilots:

Oh goodness i have so much to say. I didnt know that they could step their game up even more but they did. By a lot. This was my 10th concert and 2nd time seeing them and by far the best show i have ever seen. (Ive always loved fire so this next part is multiplied by like 986) the curtain dropped and it took me a second to see what was going on but when i did oh bOY. Josh was up there lookin like a fierce ass bandito holding a tORCH WITH FIRE. we were on his side second row (pretty much barricade) so he was super close when he walked toward us i was yelling. tHEN I NOTICED TYLER coming up through the stage oN A BURNING CAR OKOKOKOK. I knew the burning car was gonna be there but that entrance??? Didnt have to be that amazing.but it was. During jumpsuit when all the flowers fell and some of the fans were throwing their own flowers to and it was so breath taking. The transition into levitate was better than anything i could ever do. I wasnt expecting him to do the death drop or go into the stands again but gUESS WHAT????? There are just so many moments and its so hard for me to put it all into words. NATN? My favorite song off the album? The one that means a lot to me? Him walking on a bridge through the crowd during it? I was gasping for air. Pet Cheetah? Incredible. Bandito? Beautiful. Neon Gravestones? Wow i love this song so much because its so raw and powerful and the fact that he put it on the setlist means he wants us to hear it. He wants us to LISTEN. Me and k were a mess. Of course it didnt help that it came right afteR MOTHER FUCKING TAXI CAB ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. You cant tell me for one second that this band does not listen to their fans. I cant believe i hears that song live wow. Leave the City was one of the songs on the record that i had trouble connecting with because i think i was trying to search to much into its meaning but seeing it live really just made it so special and i found the meaning of it, or at least what it means to me. WDBWOT was amazing as always and when we first yelled Yeah Yeah Yeah he was a little shook. He was not expecting. Idk what they were expecting this crowd to be like for the first show but you could tell by their smiles they were happy with how it played out. During Morph Tyler messed up and later called himself out on it but tbh we all did...we just kept singing with him and when he realized he messed up is when i did lmao and he also looked at josh and said Whoops and thats a whole ass mood. There are so many other moments that im sure im forgetting but if anything was taken away from this it was a little bit of love. Seeing everyone in yellow bandanas and duct tape, seeing myself in that, makes me feel fearless. I keep the term "they cant see yellow" very close to my heart. And i keep the term "east is up" even closer. Seeing everyone in yellow, and hearing everyone say that, none of us are alone. We all have each other's back. And tyler and josh? They have our backs too. Maybe not in such a personal way but they created this. All of it. They created something that has brought all of us together. They created something so interactive we truly feel like we area part of it. They tell the truth about fear and then they bring hope to life. They're Twenty One Pilots and we truly are too.

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saportuh · 6 years ago

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ok panic concert highlights

(plus some personal adventures)

this was the portland show on the 12th k

so it was a fuckin hour and a half drive bc where i fuckin live now is far away from everything i hate it anyway that sucked & i ran my phone down to 80 percent during said drive which proved problematic

we get there (me & my lil sis) & our dad drops us off & we run up & im bitching about how weird the fucking venue is (it’s normal, it’s just not what i’m used to - in vegas the venues were typically in the casino/resorts so you lined up inside the halls & sat against the walls & tourist-watched, in this venue u stood outside in a line???? ughhh)

so we approach the line & something happens, i’m gonna make a separate post about it because holy shit

befriended two excitable gay kids, maybe 8th or 9th grade?? & i was like woah i was u once. now im old & jaded. eugh. then they bailed on me so.

we got into the arena & were on the wrong fucking side so we had to JOG all the way AROUND THE WHOLE FUCKINGN PLACE UGH

THEN WE GOT IN & SAT IN THE WRONG SEATS so the guy next to me (dad w a thick accent, maybe ukranian?? it wasn’t russian but it was close) politely informed me & i was like fuck well until they get here we’ll stay, but i had anxiety so during an arizona song i pretended to go to the bathroom & came back to look for our actual seat, someone took it so i pussied out & went back, had hella anxiety about it, then before hayley the ppl showed up so we had to move & i had to kick some preps out of their seat & they called my lil sister a bitch ;-;

OK SO ONTO THE PERFORMERS

arizona was cute, gotta check them out... singer kept getting emotional & wiping his eyes, it was sweet, and he was hella feeling himself dancing & stuff lmaoo. idk em but im proud of them.

HAYLEYYYYYYYYYYY her dancing & drumming & outfit??? also all the lesbians/wlw getting crunk in the crowd was so damn good haha

ALSO shout out to hayley’s band, they were so cute??? the guitarist & her kept having moments & he seemed like a cool dude, & the girl on synths was so pretty omg??? & smiley i loved her. & the drummer, they were goin so hard i couldnt get a good look, but they had kewl hair

“if you don’t know anything about me, there’s one thing you should know: I LOVE GIRLS” there was so much gay energy at that show i was teary the whole damn time

k confession, i love everything about hayley but i find her voice a little grating on the ears, something about it, but it was super angelic live & didn’t bug me once, & wanna be missed fucked me up cuz it’s my fucking f a v

SHE DID THE DRUMMY IT WAS HOT

her oufit was so damn iconic rlly tho, the pants & shoes totes fit her but wouldn't look good on anyone else, but that shirt, the hot dad look w the open v & all the jewelry, holy fuck that’s how im tryna be

during girls like girls, everyone had their lights out & there was a bunch of pride flags out, and i got this gorgeous shot of a gay pride flag illuminated by lights (i posted it)

most of the songs they played between the breaks were gay themed too which was powerful dude i was so damn emotional

then during the countdown to panic, they played the next episode by dre (the “smoke weed every day” song) & then africa by toto jsfndjfndjskfnjdk

THEN PANIC CAME OUT

WHOLE ASS STRING & BRASS SECTION BDEN RLLY WENT THERE WOAH

KENNY & NICOLE WERE SO CUTE THE WHOLE TIME THEY KEPT GOOFING AROUND ESPECIALLY KENNY IT WAS ADORABLE

THEN BREB POPPED OUT THE DAMN FLOOR

ok several things about breb

one, i never was heavy into panic, but considering how obsessive i was into bandom a few years back, i still know a lot about early panic, livejournal shit, ryden bullshit, etc, so it was really weird being there with normies who were just like “he’s hot & sings good” when i was like “yall lucky fucks never heard of myrtle beach ” dsjfnjsdnfds

two, four years into panic & i never was attracted to brendon, but dude, EVERYONE fell in love with him at this show, myself included, & i was starin at this bitch ass motherfucker in a trance before i was like “wait ur a bastard STOP U ENDEARING DICKWAD” he was so fucking endearing it was ANNOYING cuz i’ve seen some of the shit he’s pulled damnit. srsly tho, so absolutely charming, wow.

three, and what stuck with me most; brendon loves what he does. a little bit of exhibitionism, i think; he likes ppl looking at & admiring him, he’s that type of person, a showman, but also, i think he just loves making music, people singing along to the music, etc. ive been to eight concerts now, and i don’t think i’ve seen someone who clearly loved being on stage so much. a lot of ppl act like it’s a chore to tour, but brendon clearly loves it, and it made me happy, especially as an aspiring musician.

four, the straighties drooling over him and the gays drooling over him was truly straight/gay solidarity

ok what else happened... brendon would throw in random ass high notes towards the ends of songs... my sister looked at me super alarmed when he first did it during dtmwagt lmfao... ppl would cheer & it was impressive, but kinda piercing & i was like “show off” lol

HE DID THE ‘I MAKE THESE HIGH HEELS WORK’ thing, i thought he retired tht?? so i was pleased lmfao

i dont rmr anything that stands out about ready to go or la devotee but the lights & backgrounds during them were very pretty & i got some good pics of brebbois face (i finally got semi decent quality pics im rlly happy abt tht, concerts r so hard to photograph)

hallelujah was cool cuz there were, like, those catholic(?) church windows projected on the top part of the stage, it was pretty af, they rlly outdid themselves with the visuals

and mona lisa had like pipes & industrial stuff?? idk it looked dope, and it contrasted rlly cool it was super pretty

nine in the afternoon,,,, the only pretty odd song... i dont even like pretty odd but it was like,,, damn. & he had the piano, total live in denver vibes ;-; but he wasnt dripping sweat this time lmao

golden days, brebweenie knows hes hot, kept winking & doing mic flips & shit & i was like u fucken weenie ive seen that pic of u w a bowl cut in a bra, die

k he’s a fuckin bastard but hhe’s pretty & talented fuckin big ego bitch ... can yall tell i hav a lovehate relationship w him bc i do

I GOT THIS ONE PART ON VIDEO DURING GOLDEN DAYS WHERE KENNY & NICOLE R FUCKING AROUND & MAKING FACES & GOOFING IT’S SO CUTE

during casual affair in the chorus, the mic would echo each word (just lay (lay) in the atmosphere (sphere) & the ‘lay’ was rlly good on my ears idk sometimes certain vocal notes sound GOOD & that was one i keep replaying it

SO VEGAS LIGHTS as yall kno i was born & raised in vegas & a vegasfucker69 it’s my fucking home i moved last november (not my choice) & miss it violently & i was CRYING during vegas lights hard & it was so beautiful im gonna watch the video i got over & over & over that song means so much to me IM SO FUCKING HOMESICK

speaking of which, im pretty bitter i didnt see panic in vegas, this was my first panic show & that kinda bothers me, like i should’ve seen them in vegas a few yrs ago but it never worked out.... still, im grateful i saw them at all & im glad i saw the song live. i had my fob snapback on too, it says ‘las vegas’ on it cuz i got it there haha, wore that on purpose

he did the fucking running man thing towards the end & everyone cheered & i was like dONT ENABLE HIM

sat down during dancing’s not a crime cuz im a bitch who doesn’t like half the new record & also my knees hurt cuz im old apparently, anyway this chick glared at me then sang every word wat a fuckin prep lmao

o yah i forgot, in golden days he got in the crowd & let a girl sing the last chorus it was amazing i bet that made her life

AND DURING DOAB HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD that was SO FUCKING ENDEARING i was like “wow what a guy” then i was like “HE’S A BITCH U KNOW HIM” & i was like “hmm??? what a guy” but omg he made so many people happy it was really beautiful & sweet & i was like... half in love & then i came to my senses jksjfhjsdhfkjsdn

RLLY THO HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD & HIGH FIVED PPL & SHIT & GAVE HUGS & TOOK ART/LETTERS IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD HE WAS SO SWEET & LEGIT EVERYONE WAS FALLING FOR HIM & I WAS LIKE SUFFERING

legit guys, like it’s weird i used to watch his parascopes in 2015 or w/e & he’d say some Bad shit on there sometimes, like ik he does some messy shit BUT HE ACTED SO FUCKING LOVELY BLEH

also he’s very short, like he’s 2 inches taller than me but he looked so little in the crowd i was like... aw

the piano thing ;-; it was rlly pretty but my paranoia & anxiety was off the charts i was like that things gonna fucking fall & crush the crowd it’s gonna fucking fALL but it didnt ofc but i was stressed bleghh

but ok on a positive note, that was soo fucken lovely, bden stopped to try to make eye contact with as many ppl in as many places of possible, like he made the effort to get to everyone & make them have a special moment & it was ... magical ok thts fucken cliche as shit but it rlly was

ok i did smth lowkey embarrassing, i doubt he saw, but when he faced towards us i was just overwhelmed w like.. gratitude?? ive had a bad 2 years in every way, so being somewhere filled with love & fun & kindness & joy & all around good vibes, i was so grateful? i just wanted to thank him for creating that kinda atmosphere. so i like,,, blew kisses but not in a weird way, like later i was like oh that was kinda weird whyd i do that, but at that moment i didnt use my head & it was jus my instinctual way of saying thank u idk it’s lame but it happened so there ya go idfk

fun fact, my vid of it is out of focus cuz i was so enamored watching him & watching the crowd react it was pretty fucking magical it rlly was

once he got down from that piano he went “wow i feel so fucking inspired now” & i was like “bitch me too tf”

legit it was absolutely indescribable, even watching my vid now.... wow. and u can hear me lightly crying in the back of my video too lmao, and i was shaking p hard, it was so fucking magical. like im getting emotional rn cuz it was exactly what i needed to remind myself that there is good stuff in the world thats worth staying for.

i never was super big on panic or breb like i said but if i ever meet him im gonna thank him bc that. wow. transformative.

also that transition from the piano cover he did to dying in la was smooth af. it was all around gorgeous.

OK GIRLS GIRLS BOYS, I WAS SO CONCERNED W FILMING I COULDNT PUT MY LIGHT ON (i had a red heart) BUT OMG

he got a bi flag first, then a rainbow one, then another rainbow one... one was those hayley ones lol, and one ended up on the stage out of his eyesight & he never saw it & i felt so bad fjdnfds

G-D ALL THE GAYS SINGING WAS SO EMOTIONAL & THE RAINBOW BEHIND THEM ON STAGE (AND PAN FLAG COLORS AT TIMES?!??!?!)) IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL & BRENDON LET A FLAG DRIFT IN THE WIND FOR A SEC BEFORE HE PUT IT ON IT WAS GORGEOUS

AND ALL THE RAINBOW LIGHTS IN THE CROWD FUCK DUDE

breb might be a turd but he’s the only one of these emo dudes who parades around draped in flags & so aggressively empowers gay fans through it, and for that, i respect him. ik the song has more perverse origins but now it’s a bi anthem that rlly connects w lgbt fans & it’s rlly beautiful, AND i got another gorgeous shot of a pride flag surrounded by lights & im just. wow.

after, breb said “that is gorgeous btw” about the rainbow lights, and “thank u for participating in love” & giggled, i got this shot of the lights in the dark lookin incredible ;-;

also said “this a record number of flags tonight, very cool” so portland is rlly gay apparently, kewl

nicole doin the nicotine bass line slayed me dead wowie u can hear me go “WOO” on the vid lmfao (im a bassist so i lov her double)

ive seen miss jackson live twice now cuz at my monumentour show, new politics brought lolo out to cover it so that’s dope lmfao

anyway bden did the fuckin valley girl voice for “the scenery is so loud” which was delightful

he had us do the ‘ayyyy’ bit woo

NICOLES BASS,,, SPARKLY

drum thingy ;-; speaking of monumentour, andy & patrick famously did a drum off & i MISSED IT cuz the stage at my venue wasnt large enough to fit both sets ;-; so they didnt do it ;-; but bden doin his own drum solo kinda made up for it a little bit

fuckin show off tho he played like 3 instruments & i was like u bitch stop

there was some kinda audio sample that went “i got a fever & the only prescription is more caffeine(?)” & bden mouthed the words along, and some girl behind me went “SAME”

UPDATE: googled it, i knew i recognized chris walken’s voice, he says cowbell not caffeine & it’s a skit from snl that i’ve SEEN im a disgrace anyway that was fun also woo cowbell

the big screen kept cutting from bden drumming to a shot of the crowd & someone holding a pride flag & i was like yah drumming is gay now

lmao i only filmed like a minute of a song unless i rlly liked it so i could spend the rest of the song gettin funky right?? & i like king of the clouds but not a ton, but i filmed the whole thing cuz the visuals were so pretty lmfaooo i jus was staring at them like wowwww prettyyyyy

during the ‘i dont feel anything at all’ he looked rlly sad & i couldnt tell if it was genuine or if he was goin for like a pouty look djfdsjfndjks then right after he winked so ig pouty thx breb

at some point he introduced nicole&kenny plus the strings & brass ppl as “his friends” it was sweet & he was like “these lovely ladies” about the strings & “these handsome men” about the brass & i was like WOO GAY RIGHTS

FIRE DURIN CRAZY EQUALS GENIUS. BOZ FLASHBACKS. FIRE ON MY FACE HUNDREDS OF FEET AWAY. FEAR. DONT LIKE FIRE. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. KENNY WAS TOO CLOSE. FEAR.

a whole arena singing bohemian rhapsody 25+ years after freddie mercury’s death was Incredible, i dont believe in afterlives but if there is one i hope he was watching & enjoying & knowing his legacy was staying alive bc wow that was powerful

THE END WAS CRUNK AF HOLY SHIT BDEN GOT DOWN

i cant believe i remember the day emperors came out like,,,, jeez. so lit live tho

I HAVENT MENTIONED HIS SPARKLY SUIT YET. KING OF SPARKLY SUITS

BRENDON DOIN HIS HIGH NOTE BIT & THE STAGE LIGHTING UP FULLY ON FIRE FUCK DUDE

bitchden took his shirt off when he came out for the encore..... bitch

SINS,,, FUCK DUDE,,,, MY CHILDHOOD WAS CRYING HHYSTERICALLYYY,

in the background of my vid u can hear me do the ‘ily’ ‘ily’ from the mv emo ass

my lil sis got fucken turnt to sins lmfaooo??? danced her ass off???

us: W H O R E bden: ily

VIOLINISTS GETTIN WILD TOO

they played footage of the music vid & breb & his fuckin iconic outfit & i was a lil emo kid again omg i cant believe i saw it live

he did funny voice durin calls for a toast nerd ... least he’s not entirely bitter abt songs ryan wrote anymore tho lmao... or maybe he is considering theres only two on the 30 song setlist ;-;

i gotta listen to afycso again damn it’s so iconic

oh yah at some bit he said “ive been doing this for 14 years, im 31 now” & it reminded me like.. most of these emo bands, they started so young. & got successful at such a young age. it’s so crazy. idk. wow.

he got growly during the chorus, that’s pstump’s thing beeb dont steal it lmao

CONFETTI fitting ending, & i got him walking off which is cool, other bands it goes dark & they just kinda disappear & it’s unsatisfying ;-;

so yah i finally saw breadman live, i got 400 pics and 30 videos so that all got spam posted over the last few days lmao

#finally posting it lmao #81218 #long post -

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fictionalhell · 6 years ago

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Q&A With Aifrit

Overview.

We were given an opportunity to sit down and get a better understanding of who Aifrit is and after having a little fun going over her work we got to asking her a few questions.

The following is a record of the interview held by Zieg, Hail, Astro, and Luie with author Aifrit.

Q: So, we just recently started covering your fanfiction titled “Farronheit” and we where interested in knowing when exactly did you start writing “Farroncest” and why?

A: 2012. I distinctly remember sitting inside a classroom building in my softmore year of college waiting for my next class and was like “fuck I wanna write some Farroncest... but should I even do that? that lowkey sounds kinda immoral ew” because I found the FFXIII Kink Meme and there were some quality kink prompts on there and a handful of Farroncest ones. I remember sometime before even this I read some Farroncest fic about Lightning ravaging Serah in a bathroom during dinner with Snow and I was like “YOOOO THIS IS WHY PEOPLE WRITE THIS SHIP??” I felt so conflicted because I initially was like “why the FUCK would anyone write this ship???”

So then that day in that classroom building I just decided to write it and do it. And thus Bonding was born. Bonding is my first Farroncest fic ever and also my first smut fic ever. Looking back at it now, it’s really awkward to read and I cringe when I see it but I guess we gotta start somewhere huh?

Q: Do you write professionally or just as a hobby?

A: I don’t know if I could ever write professionally. I write too slowly tbh. It takes me ages just to write a couple thousand words if I’m not super in the mood. I do web development professionally, as well as a hobby, but as far as other hobbies? I love art but I never pursued it as much as I did writing because I always saw how bad my art was but it was hard to see how bad my writing was. I do love doing pixel art from time to time. I wanna get better at art and pixel art and I keep telling myself to, but I need to buckle down and actually deal with it, ugh.

Q: I’ve seen your pairing choices for your fanfictions so far but I have to ask, what was your first ship?

A: Definitely Kagome/Sesshoumaru before I even knew what shipping was. Good ol’ FF.net days. Q: You’ve come a long way and in that time you’ve written a good number of pieces. Which one of your works are you most proud of?

A: Blue Dream, the Lanille fic. I really wanted to capture that whole weird, floaty feeling of being high, and that feeling that time passes in like... scenes?? Like you can’t fully remember everything that happens but you get snippets of very specific things you do when you’re out — that’s why the last page or two of paragraphs are broken up so differently than the rest of the fic, like little micro screnes. I had a fucking blast writing that piece and I really hope other people enjoy it as much as I did. There’s a lot more I can say about it, including the minor reference to Final Fantasy IV and my decisions regarding how the smut scene was written. I could go into detail a bit if people cared haha.

Q: So, when you are writing, who or what is your inspiration when you write?

A: I started writing when I was little but I didn’t really have any real inspirations then. I wrote because it was fun to create something from almost nothing. The past few years I’ve had a couple inspirations. One writer from tumblr who wrote Princess Bubblegum/Marceline (Bubbline) fics from Adventure Time. They were EXTREMELY well-written. I mean that person’s just an amazing writer overall. What I loved about their writing was how they wrote in present tense. I don’t think I’d really seen this before and I loved how it made everything seem like it was happening now and not being retold by the narrator. Eventually they wrote less Bubbline, but they also got really annoying with their posting so I unfollowed. Oh well.

Now I don’t have many inspirations now, but I can say that as far as fanfiction is concerned, I do really wish I could write as well as SapphireSmoke. I haven’t read all her fics, but every one I do read is just so well-crafted and interesting, and the smut is top notch. I’m always fascinated every time I read a fic (they’re so long tho!).

Q: I understand you are currently on a hiatus, but what can we expect when you make your return to writing?

A: So the biggest reason why I’m on hiatus is because I have no motivation due to a variety of things (adulting, breakup, etc). I also haven’t felt very great about my writing for a long time and I’m trying to take a break to maybe regain some confidence. In any case, there’s a lot of stuff I wanna write when I start back up. I’ve been on a serious Doki Doki Literature Club kick. Love the idea of Monika trying to be the perfect girlfriend for the Player character, and I’d love to see them in some unorthodox fics like college settings where the game either doesn’t exist or exists in some other form.

I’d also love to write more Lanille. I still love this pairing a lot and can do a lot more with it, unlike the Farrons (still wanna write them too but they’re getting difficult). And there’s more that I wanna write too for other pairings including Fang/Serah and Paine/Rikku.

Q: Are you done with writing about the Farron sisters?

A: I am not done writing the Farrons. There’s still prompts I wanna do for Farronheit and I’d like to add to that until I completely burn out of them for good. They are definitely getting difficult to write. They feel too same-y, like there’s always some element of me making sure to show that their relationship is taboo, and then Serah using Snow as some sort of Lightning bait.... It gets repetitive.

Q: Outside of the erotic or smutty kind of stories what else have you written?

A: So I’m a gigantic werewolf fan and like inserting them into anything. I’ve liked them since I was a kid (probably Bloody Roar’s fault) and enjoy writing them as well. I’ve been disappointed with how werewolves are portrayed in media — boring ass one-dimensional movie monsters that are only good for killing. That gets stale. I wanted to write werewolves doing more shit — having families, lives, social circles, dealing with puberty and the shifting stage, dealing with their significant others and getting the courage to tell the ones who are human about their identity. I feel like those make more interesting stories. I literally am so obsessed with werewolves, I took the time out to do mass amounts of research to craft my own personal werewolf species to use as a basis for any werewolf fics I write after that. It needs to be edited heavily.

Q: Anything you don’t write?

A: I don’t have the stamina or speed to write a multichaptered fic, really, or at least a coherent one. I’ve tried with a Lanille once, and now I don’t want to finish the fic at all. Content-wise, and as far as smut, there are, of course, a list of kinks I am definitely not interested in and will never write. But it’s too hard to say on a general level.

Q: Do you have any issues with making sure your staying as true to the characters as possible? For example projecting yourself onto them. A: Lightning's personality is kinda close to my own so she's fairly easy to write. I can throw a lot more of myself into her and (hopefully) make her sound more realistic. Serah is a bit more difficult because her personality differs from mine so much (Vanille as well). I tried to do a lot of research on the characters before I wrote them so I played the game over, took note of different things like body language and verbal tics. like Lightning has a tendency to say "Right" when she faces an awkward or difficult situation and rolls her eyes a lot. Vanille bounces around a lot .

We’d like to thank Aifirit for taking the time to make this interview possible. @fyeahnix

#author interview #fanfiction #fanfic

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digital999placebo · 3 years ago

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I can’t speak for the dark ages, as ive also heard that Vikings did bathe more than the continental europeans during those times; maybe is a historical myth kinda like “napoleon was short” or maybe it’s real and a result of cultural differences. If it is real I think these differences between the Nordics and continental Europe lessened after they got christened around 900AD, and in medieval times, Sweden and Denmark (can’t really speak for Norway and Finland as I haven’t read so much about their history n I don’t wanna assume stuff) were very much inspired n influenced by continental Europe in everything from fashion to food to language, so why shouldn’t bathing culture also be included in that?

I think it is also very hard to say something absolute about a thing like bathing because 1. There were no set rules or laws to follow so when/how you bathed was entirely up to each person which created a lot of variety. Just like today there’s ppl who shower more than others, none of them r defining. (Of course there r maybe countries who bathe more than others just like there’s countries who consume more coffee than others for various reasons but I don’t think there r enough differences concerning bathing in Europe during medieval times lol) 2. Bathing is a private thing and kinda boring lmao, so I don’t think people were super excited about writing down their hygiene habits when there were wars n duels n other cool tings happening, aside from nerdy doctors. Anyway this means there are very limited records about this and ur back at the problem in reason 1. 3. Follow up on the doctors in the second: like today different doctors had different claims n opinions. Some doctors (read: Théophraste Renaudor) claimed water was dangerous and others said: no bro bathing is good for u.

With this I would like to claim that Sweden and Denmark did not bathe more or less than the rest of Europe during medieval times and onwards, Europe, as a whole, definetely bathed LESS in medieval times (probably as a result of the plague that started during ~1300s, scary water makes u grow blisters n die).

It also depends on how you define “bathing”. Because Europeans were meticulous about cleaning their faces, hands, etc with a cloth regularly and cleaned their teeth (idk how the rest of Europe did it but in Sweden you washed your mouth with vinegar lol) so ur def right about them keeping clean.

I’m sorry this is so long I am unfortunately brainwashed by essay-culture, I guess bathing throughout time and the view on what proper hygiene is, is just fun 2 write about.

Ok but since countries got exposed as being the embodiment of their countries and since they’ve bled into public consciousness and become celebrities of sorts do you think they get invited to talk shows to talk about history n how it was to live in the 17th century. And Sweden is just like: “imma keep it real with you, the water carried the pest, the only liquid I drank was alcohol. Warm beer in the morning, a spoonful of moonshine and another beer for lunch, more beer for dinner and dessert. I was drunk all the time I do NOT remember a single thing from the 1600s.” N Denmark is like: “We weren’t allowed to bathe. I had to carve my dick cheese away with a knife” n Skavlan or Larry King or whatever is like “right thanks didn’t need that last part Mr Køhler but thanks”

#‘continental Europeans’ yea I’m bunching you together live with it #sorry I just want them 2 smell like shit n b the equivalent of pre-teens overcompensating with axe body spray

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swampgallows · 7 years ago

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dude i make posts like this a lot but every time i feel it I always want to make it explicit: i am so thankful for the people i’ve met here, even if it’s just bonding through shitposting or video games or whatever, many of you have helped me more than you could ever know or might even suspect, and sometimes you never know who might need to hear something like that right then at a certain moment in their lives

every time i get the thought or feeling of thankfulness or love i want to express it because i think it’s so important to put that out there, even if it’s just the “energy” or notion, i feel it truly does make a difference, and it’s important for me as a person to concentrate on it and feel it and make it explicit to myself too. it helps me prioritize what is important in my life, WHO is important in my life, and what i can do or actually am doing to give value and importance to those things and people

it has been a really rough last few months for me, and i thank you all for bearing with me through it while these shifts in my life have happened. its not really something i want to discuss on a place as open as tumblr (and im pretty fuckin open here lmao) but i do wanna say that even little things like people asking me about music i like or sharing wow memes and stuff with me quite genuinely makes me feel loved and important and gives me a reason to keep going. im also, finally, getting to work on art (AND THAT MEANS THE EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS!!!!!!!!) For Realsies after months of other responsibilities sapping me to the point of passing out.

i have over 800 people following me and i want every last one of you to know (except for the spam bots. i usually weed those out but yknow) that you are real people and i am too, and you are important, and if we can all share love then that’s the most important thing in the world. all of you deserve to know that you are important, and you deserve to laugh, and you deserve to feel happiness, and you deserve to feel included. you can never love too much and you should never feel embarrassed about the things you love and you should never feel like you have to hold your love back, because love is about respect, love is about celebration, and love is always appropriate

this is DUMB AS HELL (check me invalidating everything i said in that last sentence) but i ran ICC a lot throughout the last couple of months and every time i stuck around for Tirion Fordring’s opening speech: “...Remember, heroes, fear is your greatest enemy in these befouled halls. Steel your heart and your soul will shine brighter than a thousand suns. The enemy will falter at the sight of you. They will fall as the light of righteousness envelops them!” and that has carried me through these last few weeks especially, something about the idea of steeling my heart, putting a pause on the intensity of my emotions to let my soul, my essence of self, shine through. because there have been..... so many emotions. guilt, anger, shame, fear, uncertainty... and i felt like instead of following my heart, i had to let my soul, as it were, point me in the right direction. i had to wipe away the gunk of all the masks ive had to don, all the shit ive been through, all the pressure in simply wearing a cardigan, and reach down into what I Am. and what i knew i was is someone who must create, someone who has not only the ability but the passion to create, and someone who FUCKING WILL.

and i dont care if the remnants of others’ imaginations get me there, if the characters that were the result of market-strategized collective brainstorming for Most Lucrative Product get me there, if superficial drops of bullshit consumerism like graphic tees or action figures get me there, if temporal pleasures like bath bombs or chicken nuggets get me there. IT’S ALL IMPORTANT and it’s ALL gonna get me there. vinyl records, warcraft fan fiction, smartphone apps, cat calendars, shitpost memes, all of it is compounded ammo toward me MAKING something, me creating something from NOTHING, bringing something into being that was not there before and could not have been there without my touch, my imagination, my spirit of creation.

and no matter what, it will always MEAN something. it will always mean that I EXIST, AND I AM HERE, AND I AM CONTRIBUTING. it is evidence that i am alive, and i am creating. ALL of you have GIFTED me with your presence, with your existence, and i am so happy you are all here, every last one of you. except the spam bots.

#blathering

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adambstingus · 6 years ago

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Macaulay Culkin: ‘No, I was not pounding six grand of heroin a month’

The Home Alone star talks about the drug rumours, dodging paparazzi and his cheese-flavoured Velvet Underground tribute act

Of all modern myths, it is the fall of the child star that most compels us. Whether theyre embarking on 55-hour marriages, throwing bongs out of windows or abandoning monkeys at customs, we cant seem to get enough. Theres something pathological in our need to tear down our icons of innocence, which might explain the overprotective nature of Macaulay Culkins US publicist, who wants to see all my questions upfront. I refuse. I thought we could just … have a chat? The interview, Culkins biggest in 10 years, is supposed to focus on his comeback. Im instructed to avoid anything negative. I ask if I can ask if he has any regrets. Regrets sounds too negative, is the response.

When we meet, in the lobby of a hotel in Spain, Im still trying to figure out what exactly this comeback consists of. Culkins filming an advert for Compare the Market, which is obviously not a passion project. It was fun, and we hammered that sucker out pretty quickly. The biggest scene was me sitting on a bench eating ice-cream.

Is he doing this to fund an exciting new venture? No, not necessarily. Hes dressed grungily, long hair man-bunned back, boots open-laced, blazer badge-studded. He doesnt project the focused careerism of most actors. People feel they have to be in perpetual motion, or drown. Ive never had a problem saying Ive got nothing lined up. Maybe Ill take the next year off. It sounds as if hes not particularly drawn to acting at all. Im not much active, he concedes. If I knew what I wanted to do, Id be writing it myself.

The trajectory of Culkins life feels like fallout from an atomic blast. By the age of 12, Uncle Buck, two Home Alone films, My Girl and (to a lesser extent) Richie Rich had made him the most successful child actor of all time. At 14, he became legally emancipated from his parents; both had been trying to gain control of his $17m fortune in their divorce. Culkin married at 17, and separated two years later. Sleepovers with Michael Jackson became public knowledge when he was called as a defence witness at the singers molestation trial. Im ghoulishly fascinated by this alien childhood. Id like to ask about Michael Jackson.

In Home Alone (1990). Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo

I think its best you dont, interjects his manager. She is one of three people sitting with us. Its not that its a painful topic … begins Culkin. His manager insists we move on, the PR next to her agrees. Culkin clearly wants to say something, but six eyes are telling him not to.

I suspect were both wondering why were here; 35-year-old Culkin doesnt do this sort of thing any more, having turned his back on the spotlight. I dont just turn my back, I actively dont want it. The paps go after me because I dont whore myself out. He has spent a decade turning down interviews, and mostly lives in France, where the aloof Parisians leave him alone. (Its also where Kevin McCallisters family were headed when they left him Home Alone, but we cant talk about that.) I get the impression hes as eager to talk about a price comparison website as I am to ask about one. Instead, I ask why people are still fascinated by him.

I have no idea. I was thinking about this the other day Id crossed the wrong street, picked up a tail, suddenly theres a crush of 20 paparazzi. Then people with cameraphones get involved. I dont think Im worthy of that.

With Michael Jackson in 2001. Photograph: Kevin Kane/WireImage

Has it got better with time?

Its been like that my whole adult life. You take on a prey-like attitude, always scanning the horizon. Its strange on dates, as it looks like youre not paying attention. But Ive stopped trying to think of myself in the third person, because thats just gonna drive me nuts.

You had to think about yourself in the third person?

Exactly. Macaulay Culkin is out there, and Im Mac. You guys can play with the first one.

Hes not averse to a bit of playing himself, for Culkin is the celebritys meta-celebrity. You may remember the meme-meltdown a few years back when Ryan Gosling was pictured wearing a T-shirt of Kevin McCallister. Culkin responded by creating a T-shirt that pictured Gosling wearing the shirt, before Gosling responded in kind, being photographed wearing a T-shirt of Culkin wearing a T-shirt of Gosling wearing a T-shirt of Culkin. They may still be at it for all we know.

Culkins previous ads, for the likes of Orange (and, in a Partridge move, the rebranding of Norwich Union), trade in close-to-the-bone self-analysis. For Compare the Market, he plays a hitchhiker picked up by the lovable meerkats, who see him as a child, buying him ice-cream and making him ride merry-go-rounds hes too big for.

In 2006, Culkin wrote an experimental novel, Junior, from the perspective of a certifiable child star with father issues. In web comedy :DRYVRS, hes a blood-spattered sadist, unhinged by the childhood trauma of parental abandonment, and defending himself against home invaders. Is all this self-quoting what hes drawn to, or just what he gets offered? A bit of both. It suits my personality and sense of humour. But I would be game for something non-self-referential.

Given this dilemma constantly returning to a past he wants distance from where does his sense of self come from? From me. I try to figure out what makes me happy and not in a superficial way. I keep my soul fit. Is he spiritual? I know enough to know I dont know. I was raised Catholic, so theres a lot of guilt. Were born with original sin. He veers off into a joke. Since I was told that, Ive been trying to come up with even more original sins, thatll really blow my priest away at confession. Like, heres one you havent heard it involves a pitching wedge, a donkey and a bucket of ice. And two meerkats? Yeah! You might wanna record this one!

With his brother, Kieran Culkin, c 1990. Photograph: Dave Benett/Getty Images

He reflects. Actually, Im very much at peace lately. I can debate with people, and my heart rate never changes. And Culkin is witty and affable. Funny, but distant. He offers confrontational figures of speech amiably. If you want to get into an argument with an artist, ask them what art is, he says. If you want to make an actor feel uncomfortable, ask them what theyre doing next. (I hastily scribble out one of the few questions Ive written down.)

Are his debates political? I have leanings, but Im the definition of a disenfranchised voter I think the system is ugly. This whole Trump thing is amazing. (Trump cameos in Home Alone 2, showing our hero the way to the Plaza Hotel lobby, although we cant talk about it.) Culkin doesnt want to be drawn further. Discussing politics is the quickest way to alienate people, so I dont wanna go into it. And Trump has enough column inches? Exactly! Hes like the Candyman, we have to stop saying his name.

Culkin was acting at four, an age at which no one knows what they want beyond watching cartoons and eating oversugared cereal. Having described himself as effectively retired, he works occasionally (voices for Seth Greens Robot Chicken, cameoing as himself in Zoolander 2), but: Im much more proactive with visual arts and writing, my notebook and little projects. Of the projects that reach the public, most could charitably be classed as divisive. There are paintings: one of the cast of Seinfeld on the set of Wheel of Fortune, being painted, nude, by He-Man. Theres The Wrong Ferrari, a Dadaist knockabout written on ketamine with Adam Green of the Moldy Peaches, shot entirely on iPhones. Most notorious is the Pizza Underground, his Velvet Underground tribute act that replaces the original lyrics with pizza puns (Im Waiting for Delivery Man, Take a Bite of the Wild Slice). At Nottingham Rock City, the band were pelted with beer and booed off stage as he played a kazoo solo. They cancelled their European dates, citing a cheesemergency. My question about all this is: what the hell?

Its one of those good ideas you have when youre drunk, and you wake up and forget about it. But were taking it to the end of the joke. We have an album coming out, a vinyl pressing with a childrens choir, a symphony orchestra. Were giving it away, our gift to the world. Does he still find it funny? Of course I find it funny! We rhyme mushrooms with mushrooms, come on. Its the same joke, relentlessly. Like, theyre really doing this?

Culkin enjoys the absurdity his fame bestows. But scrutiny has its downside. In New York, he takes walks at 4am to avoid harassment. On YouTube, one can find clips of him being harassed by wannabe-paps with smartphones. In 2012, photographs of him looking gaunt, almost transparent, set tabloids aflame with stories he was addicted to heroin and oxycodone, following the breakdown of his relationship with Mila Kunis. Given his friendship with Adam Green and Pete Doherty as well as a previous arrest for possession of marijuana, Xanax and clonazepam it seemed plausible.

Performing as Pizza Underground with Deenah Vollmer. Photograph: Sam Santos/WireImage

Were people right to be worried? Not necessarily. Of course, when silly stuff is going on but no, I was not pounding six grand of heroin every month or whatever. The thing that bugged me was tabloids wrapping it all in this weird guise of concern. No, youre trying to shift papers. Is there a story there he might want to tell one day, on his own terms? Perhaps.

Whatever his recreational habits, Im surprised by how unscrewed-up Macaulay Culkin is. Plans for the summer mainly involve roadying for Har Mar Superstar and Green (with whom he has another lo-fi film out, Aladdin). Home is where my boots are. Im a big fan of jumping on peoples tourbuses, making myself useful, doing load-ins and outs. I do everything except the merch table. I tried that, but … we didnt sell anything.

He has directionless days. He sleeps in, stays up late, indulges immature humour, bounces around with bad-influence friends. In short, hes enjoying the adolescence that celebrity stole from him. Ironically, his personal problems and turbulent relationship with the media have also given him a pretty grown-up perspective. Not a bad epilogue for a child star.

Its allowed me to become the person I am, and I like me, so I wouldnt change a thing. Not having to do anything for my dinner, financially, lets me treat every gig like its the last. He laughs, and this time addresses himself in the second person. If it is, Id think: Culkin, you had a good run.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/macaulay-culkin-no-i-was-not-pounding-six-grand-of-heroin-a-month/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/181995008877

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samanthasroberts · 6 years ago

Text

Macaulay Culkin: ‘No, I was not pounding six grand of heroin a month’

The Home Alone star talks about the drug rumours, dodging paparazzi and his cheese-flavoured Velvet Underground tribute act

In Home Alone (1990). Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo

With Michael Jackson in 2001. Photograph: Kevin Kane/WireImage

Has it got better with time?

You had to think about yourself in the third person?

Exactly. Macaulay Culkin is out there, and Im Mac. You guys can play with the first one.

With his brother, Kieran Culkin, c 1990. Photograph: Dave Benett/Getty Images

Performing as Pizza Underground with Deenah Vollmer. Photograph: Sam Santos/WireImage

Source: http://allofbeer.com/macaulay-culkin-no-i-was-not-pounding-six-grand-of-heroin-a-month/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2019/01/14/macaulay-culkin-no-i-was-not-pounding-six-grand-of-heroin-a-month/

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allofbeercom · 6 years ago

Text

Macaulay Culkin: ‘No, I was not pounding six grand of heroin a month’

The Home Alone star talks about the drug rumours, dodging paparazzi and his cheese-flavoured Velvet Underground tribute act

In Home Alone (1990). Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo

With Michael Jackson in 2001. Photograph: Kevin Kane/WireImage

Has it got better with time?

You had to think about yourself in the third person?

Exactly. Macaulay Culkin is out there, and Im Mac. You guys can play with the first one.

With his brother, Kieran Culkin, c 1990. Photograph: Dave Benett/Getty Images

Performing as Pizza Underground with Deenah Vollmer. Photograph: Sam Santos/WireImage

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/macaulay-culkin-no-i-was-not-pounding-six-grand-of-heroin-a-month/

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sol1loqu1st · 7 years ago

Text

hi i want to talk abt foi bc its legit among the coolest things ive done; this is long as Fuck but the book is longer i just really wanna talk,, abt this,,

it’s a high fantasy set on the northernmost side of a huge desert (a sea borders its northern side; beyond the sea is a country filled with plains and forests)

there were seven tribes (i still need to look up definitions and see if thats the most accurate term for what im goin for; im thinking abt just using ‘city’ tbh but yknow) in the desert:

-the riches tribe, whose people could shape gemstones and metals (think metalbending but add precious stones in the mix; each person can only control one thing and ur power is usually decided by the stars or some shit)

-the elements tribe, who could control the forces of wind, fire, water, or stone (now LITERALLY think atla; powers are passed down genetically and a few people can control two elements if their parents controlled different ones)

-the land, sky, and sea tribes, who could control animals related to their tribe (land tribe ppl can also learn to turn into their favored animal, sky tribe ppl grow wings as toddlers, sea tribe ppl can breathe underwater & usually live in the sea on the northern border of the desert bc they dont do well on land; powers are decided based on the animals’ preferences – e.g. if ravens had a specific affinity for a kid in the sky tribe the kid would grow raven wings and be able to communicate with and eventually control ravens)

-the time and space tribes, who destroyed each other 60 years ago, and have the power to speed, slow, or even stop time during the hour of their birth, or manifest physical objects from glowing blue energy that makes up everything in the world (also can see in the dark, i guess?)

60 years ago, a huge war happened between the seven tribes, wiping out the space tribe completely (except for one person; more on that later) and destroying all but 200 of the time tribe, who repopulated to about 1,000, and ruining a Lot of stuff in the other five tribes. for the most part the remaining 5 tribes (minus the time tribe for Reasons) have rebuilt themselves but hints of the past war linger. no one is aware that the time tribe survived (they rebuilt their city FAR from the original location). the time and space tribes faded from public consciousness pretty quickly since all their historical records were destroyed; most of the knowledge about them now is legends and myths

in the present day, 5 children (one from each of the remaining tribes) who lost various loved ones to the same glowing blue knives (created, ofc, by the surviving member of the space tribe, ebon (…courtesy of 2012 me’s genius naming skills, they’re all gonna be like this it’s part of the aesthetic), though the kids dont know that or even recognize it as a space tribe power) are approached by an old man (guess who! its ebon) who claims to be the last surviving member of the space tribe and apparently has evidence that the time tribe is plotting revenge and theyre the ones that killed the kids’ families and he speaks of a supposed prophecy that 5 kids who the time tribe had stolen from are gonna defeat the time tribe once and for all

the kids (and at this point, hopefully the reader too) are the wrong kind of genre savvy, and believe they’ve been approached by gandalf or some shit, and each end up Accepting The Call

(meanwhile back at the time tribe, the king and his rebellious teenage son talk about the future of the time tribe. teenage son, midnight (heyy GUESS what hour hes able to use his powers) learns to use Time Powers that are suspiciously dissimilar to the ones ebon was talking abt the ppl from the time tribe being able to use. midnight uses his powers to get more sleep bc his dad kinda overworks the shit out of him bc like the future of this horrifically unstable and tiny city is in midnight’s hands, basically, and we learn that Its Dangerous bc if u get stuck slowing down/speeding up time after ur 1 hour is up u basically become Time Tobias and ur trapped like that Until You Die)

if uve made it this far i think its time for a proper introduction to the 6 protags of part 1 (another is added in part 2 but we’re not there yet)

-eagle, from the sky tribe, a Massive Fuckin Jock Who Loves To Sport. shes 14 and pretty athletic but tends to chicken out when shit gets tough and so never makes it to the Fly Sport Playoffs. shes a Massive Optimist at first but then she finds her parents dead (hint: it was ebon). she deals with this throughout the novel i hope im writing her well lmao because i wanted it to have a Legit Impact on her character and not just be angst. A N Y W A Y she instantly pegs ash and emerald as The Rich Kids (ash is legit a rich kid, emerald is just from the riches tribe where they traditionally sew gems and shit into their clothes) and judges em for it

-snake, from the land tribe, a 13yo, Lonely Autistic who loves reptiles. (ok i mean. this is high fantasy and im really not sure if autism is a diagnosis in high fantasy. ive done my absolute best to code her as autistic and she is in fact autistic i just dont say it in canon bc idk how to bring it up) ppl dont like her at first because she comes across as cold but actually shes like the most adorable fuckin dork youve ever seen shes great. she doesnt talk hardly at all unless shes Super Comfortable around the people shes with, which is a challenge for me to write but tbqh shes my absolute favorite of the bunch,, also her only friend ever was a thief named lore who was (supposedly) killed by GUESS FUCKEN WHO

-ash, the 14yo daughter of one of the 4 ruling families of the elements tribe. her family’s genetic power is fire but she could never figure it out (later she discovers her power is actually water; im…..still figuring out how that works genetically she might just be adopted lmao) ebon brought her the news of her parents’ deaths and managed to kill her little sister while her back was turned; somehow she does not suspect him. shes kind of a snob and doesnt really /get/ the rest of the group and comes across pretty rude at first. (also, she and eagle deal w their very recent grief very differently but idk her exact Grief Arc yet)

-emerald, who i think is? 12? 13? i cant remember but somewhere around there; shes from the riches tribe, was orphaned as a toddler and raised by supposedly extinct desert dragons (which are basically 12-20ft desert iguanas), which were all wiped out horribly by more of ebon’s shit space weapons. she lived with ash’s family for a while when they were years younger but eventually emerald got blamed for ash’s lack of control over fire and was forced to leave, she found the riches tribe and discovered that she could metalbend emeralds lmao. shes a storyteller and raises money for orphans now i guess

-shark, a scrappy homeless 10yo from the sea tribe who will steal anything shiny enough. he has pointy teeth and an eyepatch (which covers a golden sphere in place of his eye) and hes reckless as fuKC. he was too young to remember his parents but when questioned about it he remembers blue knives (GUESS WHO). hes pretty unaware that sharks are infact chaotic neutral sea predators who do not give a shit about him even if he can communicate with them and he starts the novel with a Pretty Serious Bite Injury™. he takes a lot of shit apart and puts it back together in horrifying ways. yknow sid from toy story? basically thats shark if sid lived underwater and was portrayed as a fundamentally good person

-midnight, the 16yo prince of the time tribe, a Rebellious Teen™ who doesnt want responsibility and has Horrible Insomnia. he thinks his dad is Evil And Controlling and probably listens to heavy metal behind his back (meanwhile his dad is actually pretty decent just busy as Fuck trying to keep the time tribe from accidentally inbreeding collapsing and trying to show midnight how to lead; hes overprotective but not evil). he broke a pattern of various people born at midnight/noon alternating every century and people think hes Destined For Greatness™ or some shit; he is having absolutely none of that will someone let this child sleep instead of waking him up in the middle of the night to practice magic

anyway yea thats p much all ive edited so far and tbqh i dont remember a whole lot of details but That Is My Book!

#novel: foi

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mastcomm · 5 years ago

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What Happens When You Get Famous Off One Song?

MILTON KEYNES, England — Last summer, a teenager named Tom Austin decided on a whim to record a rap song. He’d never made music before. But even as he was writing down lyrics — picking out references from an iPhone note of random stuff he’d been keeping — he was strangely sure of himself.

“I don’t want to sound bigheaded,” he said, “but I knew it would do bits.” (Translation: Mr. Austin knew the song would connect widely.)

The result was “Mary Berry,” a delightful, deadpan ode to life in small-town Britain. The title is a nod to the 84-year-old former “Great British Bake Off” co-host. In the song, Mr. Austin says he “needs a girl like” Ms. Berry; he defeats a local man in badminton; pulls out a secret Android cellphone; performs his own circumcision; threatens to fight the TV host Piers Morgan; flexes his discount Slazenger sneakers; and announces, “Top thing on my bucket list is to slide tackle the Queen.” For his rap alter-ego he borrowed the name Niko Bellic, an Eastern European gangster character from the video game Grand Theft Auto IV.

As Mr. Austin later wrote on Instagram: “I decided to make a song within like 2 days and then 3 weeks later I signed a deal for it, now it’s 2mil+ streams across 3 platforms CRUUUD.”

This success seems both calculated and hilariously accidental. In the intro to the song, he offhandedly shouts out the flashy East London afrobeats group NSG; not long after its release, he was touring Britain as their opening act. He’s taking meetings and other “bits and bobs,” Mr. Austin said, and carefully planning a second single with a record label. He is now 19.

In 2016, 13-year-old Billie Eilish posted the song “Ocean Eyes” on her SoundCloud and went to bed. She woke up to see it had accumulated thousands of plays overnight. She is now one of the biggest pop stars alive.

The 16-year-old rapper Bhad Bhabie has built her career off a catchphrase-minting “Dr. Phil” appearance. The 13-year-old country singer Mason Ramsey has capitalized well off a recorded Walmart yodeling session. Their sudden, culture-saturating music moments would have been impossible before SoundCloud, TikTok, Instagram, YouTube and Twitter. Now the music industry, social media and the influence industry at large are racing to adapt for, and borrow from, such overnight success stories.

Tom Austin — or Niko B, for that matter, as he’s now calling himself, possibly to avoid litigation — is nowhere near as well known as Bhad Bhabie or Billie Eilish. His success, to date, is very much niche, and contained within Britain. But he’s at a crossroads each saw for themselves. He made a song. It did bits. What’s next?

Getting Down on Friday

A decade ago, instant virality could be a curse. Rebecca Black was 13 in 2011 when her uncanny-valley banger “Friday” — written for her in exchange for $4,000 of her mother’s money — exploded.

“It took me years to get healed,” she said in a recent interview. “When you’re 13, nobody can explain to you how mentally extreme everything is.”

Back then, she had vague dreams of Broadway, but no real career plan. In the years after “Friday,” she fended off all kinds of cynical business entreaties.

Now at 22, she’s built a team around her that she trusts. And she’s back making music: “Sweetheart,” her latest release, is available on all streaming platforms. She’s also talking about her experience, and getting very positive reactions.

“I had to figure out the long and hard way that nobody can give you this career,” Ms. Black said. “I had to do it in my own way.”

In the years since “Friday,” it’s possible audiences have become less judgmental.

While there’s still a bit of stigma associated with sudden virality, especially when it feels easily won, maybe we understand now that tunes can come from anywhere. Maybe we got tired of getting upset.

Or maybe the latest generation got better at being ready. In the end, Bhad Bhabie has bangers. Mason Ramsey is a legit country radio presence. And Lil Nas X’s path to success was, on a much grander scale, similar to Tom Austin’s. He used meme knowledge and a social media base to turn “Old Town Road” into the longest-running No. 1 single in Billboard history.

Ms. Black, as a pioneer, had no idea what was about to hit her. Teen creators now live knowing that any given thing they post might just change their life.

Crafting the Second Single on the Poets Estate

On a recent weekday on the high street of the tiny old town of Newport Pagnell, near London, Mr. Austin sat in a foofy coffee shop with a Realtree-style coat zipped to the neck. (He only opened it once, briefly, to remove a single key from a Prada fanny pack surreptitiously strapped to his waist.) He grew up, and still lives, in a humdrum subdivision down the road called the Poets Estate. He and his buddies used to skateboard, break into abandoned places, hang out at the kebab shop.

And the rest of the time — “deffo, 100 percent” — he was on the internet. At 8 or 9, that meant building Lego animations on YouTube. (“Like, a skeleton horse chasing a guy,” Mr. Austin said.) By 14 or 15, it was prank calls and mock news channel stuff. He managed to build up a bit of a YouTube following, then switched his attention to Instagram, where he first posted cool-guy fit pics before having a revelation.

“Mate, if I’m just showing you what I’m wearing, that’s not gonna get me anywhere. This is Instagram. You can’t deep it,” Mr. Austin said, meaning “take it seriously.” So he pivoted and started posting stuff like “me looking in the mirror, and in the mirror is this really buff guy,” he said. “It was the right turn to make.”

Around the same time, inspired by the multi-hyphenate talent Tyler, the Creator, he introduced a clothing label called Crowd; he now sells to customers as far as Dubai. He used to work at a Subway, but quit when a Crowd pop-up netted him more money in one weekend than he’d previously made in a month. He even wrote an elaborate resignation letter: “Thanks to everyone even Carlos bye Marisa I hope I can transfer my sandwich making skills to my future day to day life.”

As much as anything, “Mary Berry” was a promo for Crowd. (The video is full of Crowd clothes, and a post-video drop was his best-selling to date.) But it was also born of a generational D.I.Y. ethos: Why not do it?

Mr. Austin points to Alex From Glasto, a fellow pasty British teen who won viral fame last summer when he was pulled onstage at Glastonbury by the rapper Dave to perform the hit “Thiago Silva.” Since then, Alex From Glasto has released his own single. “I was like, ‘No offense to him, but if this guy can blow up …” Mr. Austin said, trailing off.

The making and release of “Mary Berry” was tied — breathlessly, naturally — with Instagram documentation: edited fake DMs from Drake asking to get on the remix, surreal footage of Mr. Austin surrounded by a platoon of life-size Mary Berry cardboard cutouts. “I did a video of me throwing a basketball out a window and then the Lakers being like ‘yo, we need to sign you right now,’” he said. The first Instagram Story tracking the journey is just captioned “about to become a full time rapper.”

He also got friends who are big on Instagram, like @GullyGuyLeo, to post a snippet of the song.

Then he landed attention of @ImJustBait, an influential British meme account run by a slick operator named Antz. (According to lore that Mr. Austin repeats reverentially, Antz started it without even having a cellphone. “He used his friend’s phone! Now he’s got, like, the most known Instagram page!”) Antz messaged Mr. Austin, saying, “yo, you’re jokes.” Now Mr. Austin is signed to Antz’s imprint, WEAREBLK, an entity created specifically to avoid the pattern of established labels profiting off viral successes they had no hand in creating.

So Mr. Austin is now officially, and accidentally but not accidentally, an independent musician. At an appearance at the taste-making Boiler Room Festival, he heard people sing his lyrics back to him for the first time. His tour with NSG took him to London and Birmingham and Manchester alongside “mad big artists.”

“I felt so bad because all these artists put in so much time and I’m just like, ‘what is going on,’” he said. The juvenilia-fueled song made the rounds and even got back to his grandma. (He said she texted him about one of the more anatomically graphic lyrics.)

Next up, hopefully, is some money. “My dad’s a builder and he doesn’t work right now, which is tough. And my mum’s a teacher in a special needs school. So pay off my parents debt, that’s the very first goal,” Mr. Austin said. “And after that it’s like — whatever. Literally tomorrow I could try beatboxing, and then, a year from now I could be a really famous beatboxer. Anything I wanna do, I’ll just do it. Cause there’s no reason for me not to do it. So I’ll do it.”

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