#i wanna hurt myselff

[schizochasm]

Did I just have noodles? Maybe.

Am I gonna get fucked up over it? Definitely.

Am I gonna lose some freedom over it? Also yes.

I may be in self hatred mode over it rn.

And terrified of the scale tomorrow.

Yeeeeeey eating disorders are so fun!

Eats a couple 100 kc4ls worth of noodles, gonna gain w3ight, and I hate myself for it.

This is so desirable!

[jokertrap-ran]

Ayakashi Renga (あやかし恋詩) Prologue Translations (Part 1 + Tutorial):

*Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Name will remain as my normal ( ラン )  * Something I did on a whim  __φ(．．;) …

Due to certain circumstances which required you to change residences as soon as possible, you found yourself viewing the interior of a high-class apartment named "Pot Palace Shibuya". The strange residents you met there seemed to have some reason or another for living there...

This is the entrance of an apartment building located somewhere within the city-- I'm standing here right now due to some bad circumstances... ...

Ran: Whaat!? This apartment was defective!? Owner: Sorry about that. Since that's how it is, could I ask of you to move out as soon as possible? Ran: N-No way...

... --And so, I started searching for a new place of residence as soon as I could. However...

Ran: He's late...

It had been 20 minutes since the apartment broker had told me to wait for him outside the apartment building. He did say that he was going to call the landlord, though...

Ran: (Did something happen? Isn't he taking way too long...?)

With the feeling of uneasiness growing as the minute passed, I took a peek inside the apartment building.

Ran: Whoa...It's such a gorgeous and new apartment. It might not be too bad to live in a place like this. Ran: (It has cheap rent despite where it's located at though...what if there was something going on behind the scenes...?) Ran: Oh no! What if this apartment's also a defective one!?

It was that very moment when I had started musing over the matter. --Growl...

Ran: What!? What's with that beast-like sound?

Surprised by the sound, I had unintentionally stepped through the entrance...And then... --BAM!

Ran: Kyaa...! ???: Oh my~! ???: Oh...? Sorry, you alright? Ran: I-I'm alright but I should be the one asking you that...!

He had saved me by grabbing my hand mid-fall after we crashed into each other. He had been staring straight at me as I looked up at his slender build. However, he quickly adverted his gaze...

???: I'm glad to see that you aren't hurt.

He ran a hand through his hair after he had slowly released me. After that, he started to stare straight at my face again, albeit more seriously.

???: I've never seen you around before. What business do you have here? Ran: Oh, well, I'm here to survey the apartment... ???: Hmm... Ran: (U-Uh...What?) ???: You're really gonna be living here? I don't think someone like you would be able to stay here for long though. Ran: Huh? What do you mean--

At the moment that I had questioned him, --FWOOSH!

Ran: (Whoa, what's with this sudden strong gust of wind...!?)

It was so sudden that I had unintentionally closed my eyes. When I did--

???: You...came to meet me, haven't you! Ran: Huh...?

When I slowly opened my eyes, I saw a young man staring straight at me, right in front of my face. ???: I've always been waiting for you. Always...I've always been waiting for you. Ran: E-Erm...? ???: Come to my room right now. Okay? That's okay with you, right? Ran: !

he tightly gripped onto my wrist.

Ran: (What...? W-What does he mean by that? He's kinda...scary...)

I was surprised at the amount of strength he wielded atop of the strange feeling I had about him that I didn't really understand.

???: ...Cut it out, Shika. Kurama Shika: Why? Don't wanna. I'm never letting her go. Ran: E-Erm, I don't follow your conversation at all...And also, please let go of my hand! ???: Shika, it isn't the time for you to be getting involved with a girl now is it? Wasn't it time for your part-time job? Kurama Shika: Ugh...D-Don't wanna...It has nothing to do with you,Shido-san... Shido Makoto: Huh? Well whatever, let's go. I've got band practice after this too so come along. Kurama Sshika: L-Let go of me...!

The young man who was gripping my hand turned to face me once Shido left without looking back to see if he had followed. Kurama Shika: I'll...definitely get my hands on you. Ran: (I wonder what's up with him...)

I started looking for the entrance yet again while thinking about it. At that very moment... --SPLASH.

Ran: Huh...? A water leak...? Ran: (Since when!?)

For some odd reason or another, there was water present now even though it wasn't there earlier-- ???: Hm...? What are you doing here?

I turned as a bright and cheerful voice filled the air. Ran: Oh...I've come here to survey the apartment...

A smile had broken out on his face right as I was turning to face him.\

???: Yay! I'm happy to hear that. So you'll be living here? Ran: (Wow...what a dazzling smile. It's as if he's sparkling...) ???: I'll be in your care again! --*Squeeze*! He innocently held both of my hands and gave them a little squeeze.

Ran: Um, again...? Ran: And it's not as if I've decided to live here yet...

The ping of the elevator at the entrance sounded at that moment.

Ran: (Huh...? The insides of the elevator's totally pitch black? That means...no one got onto it??) Ran: (Which means...Huh? Huuh? There's something glowing within it that kinda look like a pair of eyes though!!) Ran: (It's staring at me!???)

Terrified, I gripped onto the hands that held both of mine. And then--

???: Oh? A guest? A slender man had appeared from it's confines, alone. Ran: (Huh...? Could it have just been my imagination...??) Ran: (I thought that there was something inside the pitch black elevator but...) Ran: (He's...a normal human...right?) ???: Nope! She's going to live here. Ran: Er, Like I said, it hasn't been decided yet...I just came to have a look around, that's all. ???: Heh, I see. Then how about looking at my room too? ???: Oh, but...seeing as you're holding hands in that manner, could you already be Sou's? Ran: ...!

The guy who had just appeared said those words with a smile that implied something... I hurriedly let go of the hands that had been innocently clasping mine.

Aranami Sou: Ibuki-kun, you really don't have any modesty, do you...! Aranami Sou: To think that you'd hit on someone who isn't even a member of this house yet Oue Ibuki: Huh? You're taking a unusually long time to eat her aren't you? So she was someone who really caught your interests, huh. Aranami Sou: Hey! D-Dont you have some sense of delicacy either!? Oue Ibuki: Hehe, I'm joking. You were aboout the head out, weren'y uou? Let's go togehter. Aranami Sou: Yep, I was about to head out. See you then! I'll be looking forward to you moving in! Oue Ibuki: Me too. A cute girs like you are greatly welcomed. See you.

Unsure of how I should reply them, I could only silently bow as they left.

Ran: (Haa...there surely are tons of strange people in this apartment...) ???: Hello. Ran: Kyaa!! Ran: (W-What is it this time!? I-I feel as if this person just appeared out of nowhere...) ???: It seems like I've taken you by surprise. I'm sorry, that was rude of me. Seto Akihito: I'm the landlord, Seto Akihito. I've heard about you from the apartment broker. Come on in. Ran: O-Okay... Ran: (What, so it was just the landlord...That really took me by surprise.) Ran: Hm? Where's the apartment broker from earlier though? Seto Akihito: He said that he had urgent matters to attend to and left before us. It'll be alright, I'l definitely protect you. Ran: Uh...? Protect...? Seto Akihito: Ahh...No, it's nothing...Come on, let's proceed on.

When he had finished his sentence-- ... Ran: Huh...? I found myselff sitting on a sofa in an unfamiliar room once I became aware of my surroundings. Ran: (W-What's going on!?) Ran: (I was at the entrance earlier and now I'm inside a room all of a sudden...) Seto Akihito: (Hm? Is something the matter?) Ran: Oh, erm... Seto AKihito: This is the apartment, Pot Palace's living room. Seto Akihito: This is a shared space by all the residence. There's also a television and a vending machine here. Please, feel free to relax. Ran: I see... Ran: No I don't! I just appeared here all of a sudden, didn't I!? Seto Akihito: Really? It's alright so please rest assured. Ran: (Even if you say that with such a dandy smile on your face...) Seto AKihito: For starters, have some tea. Ran: Huh...!?

Just as he said that, a steaming cup of tea had been prepared on top of the table... (When was that there too...!?) When I stared closer at it..

Ran: Oh, an auspicious sign... Seto Akihito: You're right...that's a good omen. Seto Akihito: That's how it is. Now let's sign the contract, today's a good day to do so. Ran: Huh? I came to look arouund but all I've seen is the living room... Seto Akihito: It'll be okay. You'll be sure to like it. Seto Akihito: Now, this is your room...this is the contract for the room 301.

I signed the contract papers that the landlord had passed to me. Seto Akihito: With this, the contract has been completed. Seto Akihito: Thank you very much. Welcome to Pot Palace Shibuya. Seto AKihito: You're now a resident of this apartment. Seto Akihito: Oh? It seems like the pet, "Yamano" has something to say.

>>Following is the tutorial<< Welcome to Pot Palace Shibuya ♪ My name's Yamano! Nice to meet you, woof-meow! I've sent a mail to you Woof-meow. Hurry and go read it woof-meow.

Yamano: [If there's anything you don't understand, feel free to ask me about it woof-meow.]

Try sending me a reply woof-meow. (※The replies are fixed this time round)

[① How can I chat?] [② Can I play it endlessly?] [③ What kind of topics can you talk about with the chat?]

You can always chat just like this woof-meow. This time's just for practice so all the replies are fixed but you can send anything you wish from the next one onwards woof-meow. I'll send you messages sometime so please reply me woof-meow! Then let's go back to the story woof-meow.

>>END<<

[innercrackblog]

So i decided to use this app more lol

I wanna share my feeling, but i kinda can't

I never want to cry when someone's around and i just can't admit that i'm fucking screwed

Its like i have to suffer and if i don't I just feeel really bad about it

I HAVE TO SUFFER. I FEEL LIKE I'LL ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO HURT MYSELFF

Why does it happen to mee