#i wanna draw/write something outta this now holy shit

[taeneth]

Hey so what if the reason we haven't seen vox out of the vee tower is because he literally can't leave

Like if he goes far enough he'll "disconnect" from the towers WiFi and pass out or something

or OR he CAN leave but just for small amounts of time before his data(?) runs out and he has to go back

Just imagine the silly scenarios that could get them in like:

"CARMILLA HURRY THIS FUCKING MEETING UP OR I'LL FUCKING DIE I SWEAR-" -Vox at a particularly long overlords meeting

Val carrying him home after they stayed out for too long

aND MORE MY TIRED ASS CAN'T THINK OF RIGHT NOW-

Like it'd honestly be so cute!1!1!!1!1!

[austinsastrology8991]

> NUMEROLOGY THEORY < get mad

This is easily my most controversial post. but if you want to watch me spit in numerology face, then please read away

Alright i love my numerology. But i think its complete bullshit. Ive read so many sites and intepretations but they just say the same shit everytime, but when they explain themselves im like wtf that barely makes sense - for example life path 3 is jupiter, and it means; creativity, communication, inspiration. And i guess it makes enough sense to not question it. but i question everything, and i think we can do better than that >And thats where i come innnnn >>> 1 sun : MERCURY - Mercury is the first planet of our solar system, the sun aint a planet it just bright - all life path 1's dont act sunny at all, they act smart and calculated and they are 'independent' but the concept of the sun is not independent - the sun loves to share - mercury is independent, because to have an opinion requires an independent thought from others perspectives. - 'goal orientated' - so we all just don't care about our goals? bull shit fuck that, sounds like a mercury thing to only care about ur own opinion anyway - the sun likes to share and be the 'star' 1 energy don't it focused (like mercury) 2 moon : VENUS - the moon is not about the other (2 people) moon is technically a selfish energy, its about how you feel (yes people make you feel s type of way, but if you lonely, you gonna feel like shit anyway) venus is more appropriate planet for 2, becasuse 2 people requires diplomacy snd sharing, not the moon, the moon acts as a reflection, but it is not diplomatic, its selfish (but adorable) it takes 2 people to love and thats what venus all about, thasts why 2 should be venus (not 6 i'll get into dat) but this one should be pretty straightforward 3 Jupiter : EARTH - Jupiter is abundance and it could be 3 but theres a better answer for jupiter (coming up) 3 is earth because 3 is the holy trinity, god clearly loves earth the most, so its 3 okay, and everyone likes 3 (apparently) 3 is creative - there is no planet more colourful than earth - 3 is communicstion (everything on earth makes a lot of noise) and its inspiring - everywhere you look theres something inspirational on earth - you cant say that about any other planet - the rest of them just got a surface i guess 4 Uranus : Mars - whoever made up 4 as uranus imma slap the shit outta. 4 is a stable number (4 corners to mske s house) 4 is stability -4 is the emperor in tarot - uranus is nothing like that uranus is a crazy as fuck boiiiiiii. mars is far more appropriate, mars wants something it gets it (like emperor, in tarot) also a square is a 4, and thst mskes sense for mars because he all about conflict and competition. also they practical and sensible, and if your as bold as mars, your dsmn right you better be pracitcal or your gonna look like a fool and mars dont want thst.

5 Mercury : Jupiter - i understand 5 is about adventure and exploring, but its so much more fitting for it to be jupiter than fkn mercury. you see how dumb this shit is now??? look at the bigger picturre yall; numerologists didnt study the planets and it shows. 'change and progress' thats jupiters schtick, well hell its a little uranusy but mercury is a stretch. also everyone likes jupiter snd thsts why he 5 - he in the middle because everyone like him 6 Venus : Saturn - now ik your thinking saturn is karma and karma is infinite so it should be 8. well no your wrong, karma is not infinite. its however much you do you get back > think about how you draw the number 6 - you write a line (you do something) and it comes right back at ya (the cirlce bit). its also the lovers because saturn got a ring and everyone wanna find their special person to put a ring on > also saturn loves you, but he loves smacking you too. just like someone who loves you 7 Neptune : Uranus - ok this one does make some sense... because its about solitude and introspection... but anyway it took god 7 days to make the world - and the creation of the world changed the game you could say (like uranus is about change) - it also makes sense for uranus, because to change the world, you gotta observe it not be apart of it (to understand how it works) but you know what neptune does make sense here, so i get where they coming from

8 saturn : Neptune - wanna know what actually infinite? your spirit, spirituality, GOD IS INFINiTE - not yo karma - jesus fkn christ lawd save us and please forgive me for saying yo name in vain as many times as i do but WAT DA FUCK HAPPENED - Ik its associated with being a boss or a leader but to me its about achieving yo dreams, the real boss is someone like 6 or 4 (saturn - mars) and ik you thkink 6 is about love - but yall got no clue how much strength and fortitude it takes to love and it shows, thsts why saturn slaps you in the face as often as he be do > A leader must be in tune with god or they gonna get cancelled and not be givin leadership (dont forget who in charge you little shit)

9 Mars : Pluto - "embarking on a lifelong quest to quench an insatiable thirst for growth and new experiences" um okay - so how tf is that mars? mars is thirsty, but he dont care about growth he just wants some pussy. BUt pluto... now that makes more sense. Pluto wants the truth no mstter the price, and our life path 9's are on a infinite journey of digging and digging and thats what pluto do. pluto will literally put himself in jail just to see whst it feels like, mars will just fight everything, to attain his goals. pluto willl let you punch him to see how hard you punch. Stay dumb - yes i made this up - just as the old numerologists made it up - you dont have to believe me, thats why i dont believe in you.

I also believe if god is real, why wouldn't it be simple? why not correlate each number (and there only 9 numbers - excluding 0) why would it not be in the order god intended it to be?

[tsuki-sennin]

Beep Boop. Long time, no see, Tarou! My loathsome copy! Momo... Momota Saburo? Can I call Don Killer that? Don Hakai? Would perhaps Don Amour be appropriate? Don Magia? Don Ark?

He's a robot, is my point.

Spoilers, I guess...

-Murasame-kun goes a little cray cray once in a while, but he's okay!

-...oh Christ, I forgot Miho was back.

-Christ Tarou, do you ever have a quiet day free of shenanigans?

-Just kidding, I love you *chu*

-Ohhhhhh, that's a Ryusoul Gold I spy! ...Canalo's like the total opposite of Jirou, now that I think about it.

-Damn, Don Killer's just... totally barehanded, huh?

-Jirou and Haruka are finally paying their tabs! Yatta!

-Oh, and Shinichi and Tsuyoshi too, I guess. ...everybody be sure to set your KijiBro alarms, they will go off sometime soon.

-Jesus Christ, people can't get enough of Don Kaito!

-...neither can I, to be fair, but holy frack

-Terasaki-san! The pleaseman!

-Oh?

-Haruka, don't dig through somebody's possessions!

-Oh hey, that's Kohaku Shida's actual birthday, that's a fun detail

-...that's uh, not Yuuki Beppu's birthday, but we'll run with it!

-Aaaand Hifumi Suzuki's too!

-DON KAITO

-WHY WOULD YOU SET IT TO THOSE DATES YOU FOOL

-Do Not Fucking Press This Fucking Button (TM)

-"...okay." <- Totally gonna press that fucking button.

-ENCOURAGE HIM

-Great to see they're getting along, at least!

-Aaaaaaand, we're in trouble.

-All across the city, people felt a shudder.

-Don Kira!

-Ware wa Meshia nari! Ha ha ha!

-Ooooooooh, I don't know if I said this, but I love that look for Kouhei Higuchi, it looks so pretty.

-Ohhhhhh, he took that very cold.

-Man, that there Don Clan seem very short sighted.

-Oh hey Sononi! So uh, bad news, it's possible that Don Killer's gonna cancel the series by turning all the Donbrothers into meat products of various states of overcooked, but I have good news! I happen to know a talent scout for 765 Productions, always looking for new idols! ...we might need to pull some strings to get you a legal identity, but don't worry. I know a guy, just call this number and ask for a new dust filter for a Hoover MaxExtract-

-Ohhhhh, this dude's a fuckboy!

-Speaking of whom, hello Tsubasa! /j

-"Humans can't hurt me. ...also, your girlfriend is literally still comatose."

-Who's that Hitotsu-ki!

-Ohhhh, this one's very easy! It's a Denge-Ki!

-Don Time!

-Ohhhhh, Sononi knows.

-"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT"

-"DON KILLER"

-"DON WHAT NOW"

-To be fair, this isn't that different from how Tarou used to treat the squad (Haruka especially) in the beginning.

-You know it's bad when even Tarou says "fuck this, we're outta here!"

-HKJKHKLHG TSUBASA NOOOOO

-Seems pretty fucked up to make the Donbrothers' executioner look like their boss.

-Holy shit, Tarou :(

-Oh hi, Sonoi.

-Yeah, Sononi didn't help us earlier, thanks for that.

-C'mon Tarou, we don't really need that "Stay out of this" right now.

-Ohhhhhhhh, Don Killer's here.

-Banana Pafa.

-Parufaito!

-Banana Parfaio!

Seems like he's enjoying it.

-...Don Kaito, what the fuck

-Ohhhh, seems like that mustard's causing an error.

-"Sonoi, the council already hates us, do you really wanna risk dying over this?"

-"We are saving our boyfriends and Sonoza's weird annoying manga friend."

-So much for "not attacking" Noto, huh?

-SONOI HJKHL

-De-mustarded.

-True Hero.

-Heeeeey, Kaito. Whatcha doin' there?

-Don Killer-Killer.

-Forever Hero?

-Beep!

-Awwwwww, Jirou loves his dad :)

-Helloooo, Crane Lady!

-Hey, so uh... the Don Clan created another massive mess, turns out. Have you considered helping us out, even a little?

-TSUYOSHI'S WRITING A WILL

-OH WELL FUCK THAT I GUESS, VALOR TME

-...oooooor not.

-"OH FUCK, IT'S KIJINO"

-Two fail men can't fight robots.

-Very nice, Shinichi. I will pass this onto my children.

-Is this Don Killer's "execution" method?

-All in the same god-dang ward.

-Terasaki-saaaaan?

-.

-Ohhh.

-JIROU NO-

-Hey there, Haruka.

-Dyin' sure sucks, huh?

-"Manga, huh? ...How dull. Rejected."

-"No dying unless you draw something worthwhile!"

-Donbura Ko!

-HE BIT THE FUCKING SWORD

-Zenryoku Zenkai!

-...Zettai Zetsubou!

-Barf missiles!

-OH?

-Is that

-S

-Saruhara

-Okay, thanks!

-Guess he's helping us now!

-Don Kira Kira!

-Oh sorry Miss Tamaki, we kinda forgot about you.

-Jirou's getting his crunches in!

-Admirable resolve, Tsuyoshi!

-...agonizing pain though.

-Aesthetics!

-QUE BOM! Ryu So Cool!

-Omikoshi Soul! Kyo! Ryu! Soul! Doul! Kono Kanji! Omikoshi!

-Big Bird!

-Here comes the Big One!

-Guess they're just.

-Fighting forever now!

-Oh god, the Kagome motif

-Hooray, Dad's home!

-J

-Jirou, were you

-Folding a penguin just now?

-SONONI JIROU'S INDICATING SOMETHING REAL WHAT THE FUCK YOU DON'T JUST DROP "Let's run away together, Tsubasa-san!" ON ME AND NOT ACT LIKE THIS ISN'T OVERWHELMING ME

-Absolutely insane episode. In a good way at least, as usual.

[oh-lordy-lord-save-me]

I- oh my godddd wtf ;-;;;

They got put in a juicer! They got put in a goddamn juicer!! D:

But holy shit that’s rlly interesting actually, no one spoke up about this?? I can’t imagine that everyone saw mantas get captured like this and just turned a blind eye? Damn now I rlly wanna write about a rebellion or something, mostly because fuck Resh oh my god dude get some morals!

Alsoooo u have an au? 👀👀 can I see? Pls?

I was actually a bit confused about how some light creatures were ok with spirits despite them using them for energy. season of flight showcases the friendship between spirits and creatures by showing them helping each other.

so this confused the shit outta me for a while but then I realized that there probably was a rebellion. There was war between those who wished to leave light creatures in peace vs the ones who wanted to use them. The battlefield in wasteland is littered with shields with two different emblems.

First one looks like a sun while the other reminds me of those cubes the elders have. I don’t know if these emblems are seen anywhere else other than wasteland but i think its an important thing to mention ^^

also yes i have an au its under #sky dsmp au ! most of my drawings for it should be there

[rurifangirl]

aight. here somes the ask lore thingie

tw for ppl readin: mention of mental illness, father mention

firstly, how did rui end up meetin the rest of the gang? did they all have sum sort of run in? did they just happen to meet on exident?

also is the father a villain? i remember ya mention him, and was wonderin

and do they have a specific place where they stay? like in a dormstory, a single house, do they live in a single town, or in completly different places?

do any of them suffer from mental/physical illnesses? if they do, how does it affect their life/relationships w others?

Aight, so here we go, be ready cuz shit's long.

(1st part - The Rui n the gang meeting; The Shou meeting) No Tw

Honestly, I also kinda wanted to do this for quite a long time, so I'm gonna firstly talk about how the gang (w/o really mentioning the others name's since they're gonna get introduced soon) met itself and decided to form, and then I'll individually do It in Lyva's and Shou's case, specifically Shou's since i mentioned that his meetin was somethin id have to take care of in another post, so i will rn.

First things first, w the whole gang. Now It wasn't really casually, mainly because Lyva n Rui did meet up, but It was during a special occasion still, that being a really important manifestation in one of the main regions in my oc universe. (They don't have name's yet so pls don't bash me🤡) Them being primarly the Forest, where Rui eventually lives in after all of his past shit, the near-countryside part, where Lyva was living, a pretty much city living on water, where Shou's currently living, and many more, as such the dunes with which I'll introduce Qiran (hopefully tomorrow/today),The sea itself, some High up places and as I said many, many other more. Other than this brief intro, they meet up where Lyva used to live, but mainly because of problems and out of conviniance.

Everyone had something to take back from, so they agreed to help eachother to reach that end, so it's all really planned. Now i won't really go w Lyva, cuz i explained how she met Rui the first time n how they helped her, so I don't need to ramble more on this. Now I'm gonna go w Shou's part though.

This Is more of a note i wanted y'all to know first, cuz i really like how Lyva n Rui met him the first time (cuz the second time was when the gang then all agreed to form n all that jazz.). Basically, Rui n Lyva were out, n visiting new places as such, to prepare themselves further and to try and search for more weapons, cuz they both knew that they'd eventually get in trouble, and even though they still are good, they wouldn't stand much a chance, n since Shou's Place is known for its production they decided to go. N fun fact, there's many funny shit that happends, for example Rui tries to touch a fish, but gets SLAPPED by It. They're still mad >:[. Ajkskdj anyways, some other stuff happends n they just, lose themselves. They had a map ofc but still managed to do so. But Rui was usin It so, I don't really blame em for gettin lost.

Shit happends n they find themselves pratically in front of his shrine/palace. Shou's servitors (cuz he saw everything happend from afar n gave them the okay) brought em in, but rather than makin em idk some tea n just making them recouver, Shou rather put them under some "tests" w/o tellin em, to see if they were any use.

For example he brought them some cups of tea, but before drinking them Rui noticed somethin unusual in the water, so they gave Lyva a sign to not drink It, n as Shou asked as a reason why they just replied that they weren't thirsthy, leavin Shou in a kind of defeated state. Bitch if i love this part honestly, there's so much fun to seein all of their reactions, but I'm gonna go brief rn. So other of this tests pass later n Shou eventually gets upset cuz they're all winnin n seemingly makin fun of him, lettin him in a weaket standpoint, n a fight happends. Even though it's a 2v1 situation he can still manage pretty well, so It ends in a draw. They get to talk after this and get to understand that they don't have to necesseraly be on the opposite side, though Shou Is still unsure whether to belive in that or not.

After they leave him, pratically almost alone w only a bunch of servitors helpin him. He admits defeat n won't show up until the event and yadayada. (Also it's during this weak time of his he'll meet Qiran which i already have plans w so it's all goin to be said bout their relationship in their post.)

(2nd part, the father mention.) Tw:father mention

So it's true that w Shou i did mention his father, but I'm not entirely sure bout his involvment honestly. In theory he kind of is a villain itself, even because of his devilish nature, so it's true, but im not sure whether to make him an independent villain or part of a group of them. But rather than that yes, i do want to make him some sort of villain in the end, because that's also part of Shou's agreement to be part of the group. I will make concept art for him so he'll definetly be involved. Not gonna lie, mabye that bastards also involved w Rui's cult too in a way or another but im givin in too many details holy shit I'll never get outta this fuck

(3rd part- where do they live) No Tw

They live in their own homes honestly, but It would be no surprise if they'd all decide to sleep over someone in specifical, though they have their own place. I made some concepts for Rui's intern home, which here It Is 😤 (forgive me for the bad quality but it's 2 am rn 🤡) I made this a while ago but only did Rui's, so I'll do Lyva's, Shou's n the other one's too. They live in different places, for the exception of, atm, Qiran, since I'm gonna say that they're more of a traveller n don't have a stable home.

(4th part- the mental/physical ilnesses) Tw: Self harm and Mental ilness mention

Well, this Is gonna be a ride. They all suffer from Ptsd, which Rui n Shou suffering from It the most. It still affects them all, though in different occasions, so Imma just do them in specifical. (Also because i gotta add some shit to shou that i didn't wanna add because i thought It was too much honestly)

Rui-

It affects them really much. They use crystals n gems to avoid anything going w their past or anything remotely related It, as whenever they feel awful about havin those flashbacks when they still were a child. They never want to talk about what happened, n during their moments It gets really, really bad. Both emotionally and physically, as their body sometimes cannot handle anything so it completely shuts down. They never really got any help for It as Rui's too scared to share bout their experience, both because of trauma itself that doesn't make them say anything even if they wanted to and because of the cults influence, so either way they've got to handle It by their own.

Lyva-

Other than havin to deal w mornin sickness, which Is the least for her, she has to deal w her neglectful childood and how desperate she's always been for litteraly anythin, whether it's related about love,friendship, food, toys, anything. She tried to seek for help and semi found It, but as of now she can't keep up w It and has better things to take care of. It's still really bad overall, but she's hoping for things to get better. Spoiler It really won't.

Shou-

⭕Tw for sh⭕

It's... really fucking bad. I'm gonna get outta this w saying something i didn't want to add because it's really triggerin, but im gonna do It now. So basically, I've mentioned them acting feminenly for his own mother, but i didn't say what would've happened if he displeased her. She would just stare down at him and whispering some awful shit or names. This would happen especially whenever he'd slip off that mask of his or revealed even a tiny bit of his devilish essence. Note that he's still a child here. So, best thing he could to was to "punish" himself, which basically consists of him scratching his arms too much and, i don't really want to continue this, forgive me but it's kind of triggering even for me. But...you can guess what he's doing, since he even to this day still keeps sharp nails. I'm sorry for putting this, but it's another way to show how his mother fucked him up and now suffering from this.

I'm sorry for rushin the last part but i'm not personally vibing w it.

Tags undercut

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @dopesaladlady @damnfoxx (I'm really unsure bout taggin ya in this ;-;)

If you want your tag removed, dm me cuz it's 3 am at the moment n i may have messed em up. (I'm not gonna recheck tomorrow so that's why)

[angel-caked]

𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 ;; 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 / 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐁𝐋𝐄 ;; 𝑩𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒑𝒔 𝒑𝒕 𝑰.

This is an extra long drabble/development/open starter solely because I promised waaay too long about writing so this is in two parts, npc introductions and death is promised in the second as well as more in depth assholery. 

'' It's part of the code to hold yourself with dignity in public. ,,

That's the first thing Angel heard fall from Henry's mouth when catching the smaller arachnid about 3 seconds after going off from catching some underhanded comment about returning back to the family. It genuinely made Angel's teeth itch. Henry could yell at whoever and it be applauded yet, he was to remain silent and level headed about a coward not speaking frankly?

What a fucking load of shit. No one ever really did follow that.

Plus, this wasn't a public setting in the first place ; the meeting place had switched to one of the other boss's residences to avoid what happened a few months ago because SOMEONE wanted to test out their shiny new toy on a couple of jackasses that apparently keep their mouths shut. Due to their tardiness, it just fucked over the others and made the Ragonis look suspicious since it was their territory and let's be honest, who ever would want to own up being off'd be a whacky overlord?

The only upside to this was that the boss that held this meeting was someone Angel recognized and faintly remembered from childhood that would intervene ( when there anyway ) when Henry had his bursts towards him or Molly. Arackniss was smart enough to stay silent whilst the other two admittedly not so much. No fucking clue what she was saying, but the next thing Angel knew was sitting in the meeting room with a warm sandwich in hand and an insistent donna of the hour sending looks in the spider's direction before it was her turn to speak. They called her "Yaya" because of her pining behavior, always looking for others but ruled with an iron fist.

Through the 6 hours of the meeting, between each don/donnas talking in turn about their territories and making trades, the occasional polite squabble or disagreement that dragged the meeting on did happen. It would've been amusing yet there were eyes on the arachnid though, it was nothing unfamiliar, it was still irritating when trying to focus. Pink hues lazily trailed from Brutus, a shark that had known all too well what Angel's bullets tasted like  to a baphomet-esque demon that leaned more towards humanoid enough to make Angel realize who it was and stared right back in annoyance. 

The Goat’s impressive amber eyes went on examining the fluffy arachnid's features carefully as if looking for something. 

In turn Angel rolled his eyes at the man then flashed the iconic gold fang and watched the eyebrows furrow. The Goat's name was Domino, he had been around since the 30s if Angel could recall and often was one of many dealers the studios got their ' choices ' and of course Angel hated him and vice versa though no one knows why.

The stare down was broken when Henry's hand firmly made friends upside Angel's head, it wasn't hard nor hurt but it was enough to gain Angel's attention. " Speaking of expansion, the cotton ball had something to say about the outta rings. Wrap it up and keep it short. "

Cue the younger Ragoni being a bit shocked Henry was giving a chance to speak up. . . was this a legitimate chance?

" Bit too late about wrapping it up. "

" Shut up, Brutus. "

Angel just blankly stared, regretting not using holy bullets if these quips were about to be a common thing. Yaya smiled and waved her hands in a 'shooing' motion for the youngest of the bunch to continue " Well. . . Los Satanio,  Mint City  an' Crystal Stadium are pretty easy to get into despite the rule'a sinners not able to ; It just has ta be done by sinners with the correspondin' vices an' a logical reasoning fa said sinner to be there. " 

Angel explained with a hand waving about despite the intrigued looks as if it were the most obvious thing, " Your best bet if anythin' is just to get the right sex worker ta hit all three rings or just do business wit' someone in Crystal Stadium. Los Satanio is a good try because, they're always fightin' each other unless it's that Harvest Moon an' Mint City is full'a greedy bastards just ta get their hands on nice things while Crystal Stadium is full'a vices but much more refined--. " 

There was a snap that made the expectant demon instinctively stop and look in the direction, the restraint to keep from leaping across the table when seeing the source was almost broken.

" What makes you think a bunch of prostitutes are anyway something either of us care for, Annie? Besides, it's not like you've been to either of them anyway." Domino commented from behind a cigar, leaning back in the chair and ignoring the death glare casted his way continuing on before Yaya could interrupt. " Wasting material on a bunch of people who just want to get their jollies off 24/7 is moronic, don't be trying to stiff us with stuff like that." 

Ignoring the 'Annie' comment, Angel merely held a smug look and neatly folded slender fingers on the table. " Hey didja forget there's three types'a lust? Yeah sure, Crystal Stadium is the lust ring but, it's also the most advanced in comparison to here. Sexuality, Money an' Power or Flesh, Power an' Life --if ya wanna get technical with it, make up that ring.  They're willin' to throw money at the prettiest thing or anything that will assist their shi-- shenanigans.  Regardless, if ya don't wanna listen then don't, just quick makin' an ass outta yourself just ta be right when ya aren't. " 

Henry inwardly snickered, looking rather somewhat amused at the situation. His normal frown had upturned only slightly. Yaya wasn't even hiding hers, a big grin sprawled across her glass face. The only ones unamused were Theo, Domino and. Brutus... possibly still sore from their last encounter or maybe just not listening? 

" Well, forgive me for not knowing what's common to a pro skirt, you dumb philly. " 

" . . . The fuck didja just call me, ya dimwitted patsy? "

" OKAY!" The porcelain doll immediately stood up before the fight could escalate, " I think we can pick this up tomorrow, yes? Toni, I'd like to talk to you more about Crystal Stadium after dinner. It's always nice to have a back-up plan and I'm interested. Henry, dearie if you don't mind I would like to speak to you alone about our deal. Everyone else, feel free to pick a room for the night and enjoy yourselves. " The other dons rose to their feet at the meeting, seemingly being adjourned for now. 

Domino bumped past Angel in the doorframe, making the spider clench a fist hand enough to draw blood though let it go with a sigh. His pettiness couldn't bring down the giddiness about having at least one head listening to Angel's suggestion. For now, the demon was going to leave for the hotel to avoid further conflict and sent a text to Henry. Hopefully Yaya wouldn't mind.

[anxiousdepressedintrovert]

Otome Thursday

IT’S BRAM!!!!

Y’all, you have no idea how excited I was for this route/series to start. I wasn’t a big fan of Ravi.

ANYWAY

Bram Route

Episode 1 (The free one 😉)

-I really dig the beginning of the route.

-Like a land hidden from even the Elves? Nice

-Also also, I like that this series, Love and Legends, AND Reigning Passions all take place in the same universe and it makes sense. Unlike the more modern series where the crew just sticks characters in the stories to say “Hey, look, notice these characters”

-Sorry. I’m ranting

-Focusing now

-I named my MC Mari Rya

-She’s beautiful

-She’s got a little, sprite/fairy/thing named Ness

-I love them

-I only know the name of the new land because I played the Ravi short but it’s called Tallav

-Mari’s got a reputation as a researcher.

-But this is also a lifelong dream of hers.

-Ness doesn’t speak (what I’m going to call) English, but Mari understands her anyway

-Ness uses They/Them pronouns. RESPECT IT

-Magic time!

-Ness magic time!

-Mari can feel all the living things. I feel like that’s not a human thing.

-But I will reserve judgement

-She’s had a rune stone since she was a baby. Yeah, she’s def not human.

-Holy shit a bear!

-…with a shield and a spear on it’s back.

-Subtle

-The way these sprites move are fucking hilarious

-Mari said “Nope not today”

-Can’t out run a bear. What does this bitch do?

-Drop down to play dead. Cause that’s totally gonna stop a bear from chewing on your spleen

-the “bear” is able to turn her over to her back (duh)

-it turns into a man and…oh what a man

-this CG is so fucking cute!

-he’s like “Is she alive?”

-She’s like “the fuck is he doing?”

-I’m like “Squeeeee they’re both so stupid rn”

-Oh those eyes…

-I haven’t been this in love since Razi. Or Renzei.

-Oh no! headbutt. Gives me a headache just reading it.

-Fuck look at those abs.

-LVS really knows what they’re doing with these character designs

-And Mari’s being thirsty too. It’s not just me

-Whew chile, the way she describes this man. Girl,

-Thank you, Ness, someone has their head on properly

-Never mind. They’re just as thirsty

-I still wanna know how Mari can talk to them

-He knows she’s a human cause she’s wearing clothes. Good lord this series is gonna be a riot in the first couple seasons

-Oh Mari…you’re sounding very Colonizerish

-I don’t like that

-Though it is kinda cute how she nerds out

-I can see her doing this with any thing she comes across.

-Thank you, Ness. Time and Place Mari!

-Invasive is one word for it

-Not much to write.

-She’s gushing. He’s listening. They’re both hot

-oh no, not an eyebrow lift!

-from both of them!

-I can’t do this.

-This bitch just walks away from a question ‘cause she got caught staring!

-I can’t! This is me. Running away from all my problems

-Bram follows cause, y’know, stranger in the woods

-Bram likes Ness. It’s adorable

-Anthropologist=Skald? Maybe.

-Apparently rune reading is impossible, so is befriending a Puck (Ness)

-Mari is def not a human. At least not fully

-See, I feel like if she showed Bram the rune stone she carried with her, that would help bridge this gap.

-But y’know. Whatever.

-Oh they are two bull-headed people

-He’s got (understandable) prejudices against humans/bipeds

-She’s like “MY RESEARCH”

-I’m like “Girl, they’re living people. Respect their boundaries. And Dude, Learn a little”

- She’s very forceful with the fact that she ‘needs to do her research’

-It’s very Colonizerish and I don’t approve.

-Mari, You can’t prove that the Duke who hired you only wanted you to do pure research.

-Ha, Bram called her pretty

-Ohhh Mahuwin Villiage

-Cue Victor from Underworld: “YOU MUST BE JUDGED!!”

-damn he called her insidious

-Mari…honey. Going to a village, you’ll get to see how they live and see how the justice system works. Calm down.

-Of course, no one’s ever been so unwelcoming. You’ve been dealing with other humans and elves.

-Girl!

-I’m judging you so hard rn

-Whew chile that took a lot outta me

Episode 2

-Awww I do feel bad for Ness tho

-They’re scared too

-Bruh, Bram JUST said he doesn’t know what an anthropologist is. You barely related it to a Skald. Showing him your notes means nothing.

-Bram, dude, I get you’re supposed to protect but you’re seeing enemies in the wrong people. Though I get why you’d suspect her.

-The Dinae have no secrets between their tribes (I’m assuming) so there’d be no need for an anthropologist to go looking for old history.

-Also he called her cute (again)

-Ohkay. I draw the line at you accusing Mari of torturing Ness.

-Only a heartless monster would lay hands on Ness.

-I need you to think baby: WHYY WOULD NESS STAY? If Pucks are magical creatures, surely you don’t think that Ness would be foolish enough to stay with a powerless human.

-Oh. Don’t make me insult your intelligence

-Oh don’t make me

-Mari. Don’t do anything stupid. Please. He’s actually being nice. In a weird way. Taking you to be judged. Someone else would’ve just killed you

-Mari…you can’t do your job in someone else’s country without permission. To get permission, you need to go to a village.

-I’m starting to question your intelligence

-Oh good. The bull-headedness is back

-No shit it’s more than just a job! I think you would have gathered that from the fact that to enter Tallav you had to pass a BEAR statue

-Oh no not the sad face

-I know LVS is gonna use that face to get money out of me in future scenes

-Mari, you’re both stubborn. And if I had it my way, you’d’ve gone with him already

-MARI! HE’S NOT A SOLDIER!

-ARUGH

- Not the type of roleplay I thought I’d be reading in this story but sure. Have some hearts

-I wanna smack her so bad and the first season’s not over yet.

-Usually the urge to smack doesn’t kick in until at least season 2.

-She’s a record setter

-Uh oh Bram, you called her an interrogator.

-And he STILL doesn’t fix it!

-They’re both so rude

-Ok, so he gets the why.

-We’re making progress

-This woman can’t let her thirst rest for five minutes.

-I mean same but come on

-Ah! Progress on both sides!

-Still don’t like how forceful Mari is about her job. How would she feel if her job put people in danger?

-You kinda did Mari. You kinda did say “I’m going to do what I want anyway”

-Not in those exact words but enough

-My point!

Bram: You ever think that if we wanted to be bothered by any kingdoms, we would have officially contacted them

That’s my point

At the same time, Bram and his fellow Dinae have their fellow prejudice against bipeds. As I said, mostly justified but they act that they can’t adapt or change

-Mari, interest isn’t always flattering…we aren’t in high school

-Now she’s running away. From a guy that can turn into a bear

-I’m very much questioning her intelligence now.

-Cause she dumb dumb.

-And thus begins an infuriating game of human and bear

-Oh yeah Mari, cause you can totally break the hold of a guy WHO CAN TURN INTO A BEAR

-As Mari is kicking and screaming, Bram: Am I hurting you?

-LMFAOOOO

-Awww Ness trying to help.

-Bitch. He puts you down and you climb a tree. Like bears don’t climb trees?

-Thank you Ness for talking some sense into this stupid girl

-Why is she so defensive?!

-Why can’t they just give me the option of “Fine.” FOR ONCE

-Seriously Mari? If you had stumbled upon a village during your wandering that really HATED humans, the chances of them killing you are SUPER fucking high. Doing it this way is arguably a lot safer

-YO  WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!!

-That looked like a swamp deer  monster from It Lives Beneath

-FUCK THAT

-RUN BITCH…FUCKING RUUUNNNN

-Why is run never an option when we are clearly outmatched?

-Oh god why does it have to look at the screen!!!

-I don’t like that

-and ewwwww they did detail on the muscles

-Yeah no shit it’s targeting Mari, Bram!

-I think that’s pretty obvious!

-Thank again Ness for saving One Stupid Bitch

-We…we get to RIDE Bram?

-I can (and will) make so many jokes about that

-I’ve already restrained myself from making Bear jokes. So, you’ll deal with that

Episode 3

-Hehehehehehehhehe

-We rode him

-Hopefully this won’t be last time

-and the next time won’t be in bear form

-Ohkay. I’m back. The chapter’s loaded

-Wait one more

-And we can use that rope for something else too

-Idk how to do the lenny face so……just imagine it

-Ok. NOW I’m done.

-Finally, a decent option. THANK YOU, BRAM

-Yeah Mari get that through your thick fucking skull. He’s a defender. He defends.

-Awwww Bram isn’t comfortable with praise. I’m gonna take every opportunity to do it now

-Mari, this is why we don’t talk shit up.

-Hehe still riding him

-Ewww that thing is back.

-Plus side?

-FIGHT SCENE

-Oh nooooo Bram’s hurt

-MARI CONTROL YOUR THIRST THE MAN IS INJURED

-Thank you, Ness! I swear they’re the only character I haven’t been pissed at

-Mari begins to nerd out over plants. Honestly same

-OMG HIS BLUSH

-GUYS. HIS BLUSH

-The stuff of nightmares was an Abberation. I like my name better so it and all its freaky brethren will be called The Stuff of Nightmares

-And Bram’s back to being suspicious. Sigh. And we were having such a nice time

-The Dinae don’t have pets and that’s the saddest thing I’ve read all day.

-Mari just realized that Bram’s been naked this entire time.

-Lol

-Oh so, if Bram trusted Mari, he’d happily tell her everything she wanted to know.

-Hmmmmmm

-I certainly can’t say no to that face. So neither can you Mari. Here. Have some hearts

-See, they say fur covered thigh, all I hear is, cuddling for the winter.

-OMG SHE COULD SQUISH HIS PAW BEANS

-IF SHE DOESN’T SQUISH HIS PAW BEANS WE’RE GONNA HAVE A PROBLEM

-Mari stahp being so thirsty. There’s a stream next to you. Go dunk your head.

-Ness is adorable and I want a plushie of them

-Oh NOQOOOWW she has a problem with riding him

-…Ok, I mean…her explanation makes sense.

-See, every Dinae does it!

-Bram is so tired of her. It’s so funny

-WAIT. THERE’S WOLVERINES

-….is one’s name Logan?

-I’ll leave now

-I’m so glad they’re starting to understand each other more. Cause I was ready to jump through my phone screen.

-Things are still tense, of course.

-Wait a fucking minute. Going through a patch of brambles saved you a fucking DAY of travel? WTF

-I’m very interested in seeing how this plays out as opposed to Ravi’s route.

-Let’s meet Chieftain Mael!!

[returnn-of-the-mac]

Say Sole has met and befriended practically all possible companions (who now lives in sanctuary i guess?) except Strong. How do they react to seeing sole, injured, arriving at the settlement being carried by Strong, a literal supermutant? (Piggyback, fireman, bridal, you decide) 😂

Personally, I pictured bridal style while writing this, but I left it pretty open-ended. Up to the reader! Please enjoy! 😊

FO4 Companions React: Strong Carrying an Injured Sole Back to Sanctuary

[Companion] was taking a relaxing stroll around Sanctuary when they noticed something in the distance.

A Supermutant.

They braced themselves, expecting an invasion, but upon further inspection it seemed like the mutant was carrying something— or rather someone.

Sole.

...

Piper: [terrified] Oh my god, Blue! [calling aloud] Someone help! [Name’s] been captured by a super mutant!!

Hancock: [to Strong] You’d better put them down, pal [revealing a syringe of psycho] You don’t wanna see me go feral.

Cait: [brandishing baseball bat] I wonder how barbecued super mutant tastes.

MacCready: [Name]! [draws weapon] Put them down or I’m gonna shoot!

Preston: [drawing weapon] Don’t worry, General! I’ve gotchu!

Ada: [to Strong] Sir, please put my friend down. If you do not, I will have to take action.

Longfellow: I’m too old for this bullshit [draws harpoon gun] Bud, you can either put my friend down or die. Your choice.

X6-88: [takes off sunglasses, rubs them with jacket, puts them back on] So I’m not imagining it [draws weapon] Put my accomplice down. Now.

Curie: [to self] Hmm. Ze zupermutant doesn’t zeem particularly aggressive.

Codsworth: Oh dear! [Sir/Mum] is going to become mutant food!

Nick: [to self; thinking aloud] Strange. The mutant isn’t harming them. In fact, [name] seems content. I’ll try a diplomatic approach first.

Gage: [alarmed] Holy shit! [equips rifle] You’re messin with the wrong gang, motherfucker. Put the boss down or I’ll blow your brain out!

Danse: [drawing weapon] End of the line, mutant!

Deacon: [wary; hand on weapon] Hey, I’m willing to talk this out, okay? Just put my friend down, big guy.

...

The creature put Sole down and took a step back.

Sole introduced their companion to the mutant— Strong— and informed them that he had carried them back to base after a particularly nasty gunshot wound.

They also mentioned that he would be living amongst the others in Sanctuary.

...

Piper: Oh! Well, nice to meet you! I’m Piper. You’re going to love it here.

Hancock: [brightens up, offers handshake] Any friend of [name] is a friend of mine! I’m Hancock, mayor of Goodneighbor. Pleased to meetchya.

Cait: Ye really expect me to trust a supermutant so quickly? Are ye outta yer mind?

MacCready: Good to know we’re not on the menu tonight!

Preston: I apologize; I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge. I’m Preston Garvey, Commonwealth Minutemen. You should feel right at home here, Strong. Welcome to the family.

Ada: Greetings, Strong. I am Ada; an assaultron created by the hands of the recently deceased merchant Jackson. It is a pleasure to meet you.

Longfellow: [nods] The name’s Longfellow, but enough of this introductory horseshit. [pulls out vodka] How do supermutants feel about spirits?

X6-88: [lowers weapon] I see. [to Sole] I can assure you he’s not the worst choice you’ve made regarding traveling companions. He certainly has great strength and excellent potential [to Strong] It is a pleasure to meet you, Strong. I am X6-88; an Institute Courser.

Curie: Ah! ‘ello Monsieur Ztrong! I am Curie. I am pleased to meet you! Eef you would like a look around, I will gladly give you a tour!

Nick: Well Strong, we can’t thank you enough for keeping our friend here out of harm’s way. I’m Nick Valentine— by the way— detective over in Diamond City. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

Gage: So ya saved the boss? Well, you’re off the hit list then [puts away weapon] Names Gage— Porter Gage. I run with the Raiders. Good to meet you.

Danse: [disgusted] Don’t mistake my tolerance for friendship, mutant.

Deacon: [to Sole] Fine, fine, I’ll play nice with the Supermutant [to Strong; best impersonation voice] Well, I say you are righteous, outta sight, and with it. And an official friend of the Atom Cats! Er...the names Zeke, by the way. Leader of the Atom Cats. And according to the big boss, have full rein of our digs.

[flowermist7432]

What about bubby is happening???

Hwjhhgggggggg E v e r y ThIng,, its a long one but please read if yah do wanna understand my thoughts tho its long cause i ramble!!

Ismhd okay so i made art a LONG while back that was like, Bubby and Coomer! Right? I love their ship, infact the way they are drawn is so specific and it REMINDED me of..idk..Crowley and Aziraphale.

The logic behind that is how the fandom draws them like Crowley. Little mean with a soft heart, and wears cool black stuff and stylish, TALL AND VERY SKINNY while Coomer is drawn as chubby, lil man who's nice but also a little bastard. So i was like "Hah! Oh man! Reminds me of another ship! Infact i wanna draw em like that! >:0" then i drew them dressed AS them!

Now, i wanted to kinda re draw that piece cause its old and my artskills have MAJORLY improved. But folks loved it! And MONTHS later when ive already forgotten about the post some..person was like "this is so antisemitic to draw Bubby as a literal demon"

Now obviously as someone with RSD i choked, first of all. SECOND of all this person CLEARLY missed the mark that??? Of course i drew him as Crowley thats the part of the joke- COOMER IS AZIRAPHALE it doesn't work the other way around tho maybe for a joke it can cause that would be funny ("Gordon! Im a demon! And i require your soul as debt~❤"). Third, this...this art was made way long before this whole ENTIRE THING WITH him being called jewish suddenly and his new rules.

The reason he's concidered jewish is because Gir used one of the random scientist old man npcs which aparently later on in the games was turned into Dr Kliener? And the name Kliener is a name of jewish origin. And even tho the fandom had decided.

"Okay were separating Half Life from Half Life Vr AI. Cause the two things are so..SO DIFFERENT from eachother at this point its not even funny" the fandom ALSO decided because Gir used that model it intern makes Bubby jewish. And that means Bubby's sharp teeth the fandom did before that or just, aspects of how he might look a BIT monster-ish cause he was canonly made from a tube was gone! No more! You cant cause now everyone decided he's jewish!

I legit had no problem with it cause "oh dang" cause well im not jewish what do i know, i mean if you headcanon that, thats cool! ❤💖❤💞💖 Also im sure folks can live with not drawing him a few fish-like! I mean maybe he just came outta the tube lookin like a regular white old man which is always funny tbh. Also as i said im not jewish so i have no say really it wouldnt be fair >:0. Infact I love the connection but artists getting accused of antisemitism because Bubby was being drawn alittle off like pointy teeth or using the sharp triangle body shape theory kinda sucks cause to me it was clear it had nothing todo with jewish themes and also lets be honest Dr Kliener and Bubby are two seperate entities to me.

But its actually one of the biggest reasons i stopped fandom interacting cause..idk. it got to much with the "Dont draw/write a character like this" and stuff. It was the stick that broke the camel's back with realising this fandom turned great wonderful wholesome headcanons to implimented FACTS of the community and if you are tripped up even alittle unknowingly even before hand yer FUCKED. Which is actually my number one fear so it certainly did the trick! I just..left! I got to scared of doing something wrong or even asking. Cause its a bit feral even if you wanna genuinely ask why. And btw this isnt "UHG STUPID RULES" and more like "oh god oh fuck--"

I..look i'll always have a special place in my heart but im gonna be vulnerable fer' a sec and say so, SO scared of lettin folks down. 😥 i dont wanna be a antisemitism artist! Or a racist or a homophobe or any of this! Its scary and makes me wanna cry even at the very thought someone MIGHT think that even tho i know im certainly not. But its also made me not wanna interact cause..what if i accidentally draw something or say something that came across the wrong way or broke "fandom rules" i was unaware about like god holy shit thats TERRIFYING!!!

So i just, stopped drawing em. I even have poc characters or stuff ive wanted to show to tumblr but im scared of getting facts wrong or someone getting angry i did something so i just hide em all away. Its too intimidating and the chances of having yer ass handed to you by one accident and being shunned for life is so possible in my head and i never wanna risk being a terrible person. Even if that means stop drawing hlvrai and not showing original work in fear of messing up

[trashboatprince]

Just a one-shot of a silly idea that came to mind the other day while I was at work.

A trip to Paris to remember a friend from the past leads to an angel and a demon sitting in a cathedral for a chat.

And it takes an awkward plan to get said demon inside of the holy building.

This clearly takes place long before the recent fire at Notre Dame, this is more of just a random little trip during the 90s.

And yes, I tagged it with ship stuff, obvious, but let’s face it, anything I write with Aziraphale and Crowley is always gonna be Ineffable Husbands, even if it’s just implied or hinted at.

On with the fic!

--

Can Demons Sit in Pews?

--

“Paris? Really? Got another desire for the best crepes in the world, angel?”

Aziraphale smiled, despite the obvious jab at a previous action from well over two hundred years ago, turning around to face the approaching demon. His smile faltered into an annoyed pout when Crowley waved his hand, a few meters away a souvenir stand operator suddenly dashed off when an officer just so happened to notice that his items might be counterfeit.

“Now, my dear, was that really necessary?” He asked as he crossed his arms, getting a smirk in return.

“No, but it was funny. So, what are you doing here?”

“I really should be asking you that question, how did you know I was here?”

Crowley gave a shrug. “I always know, and don’t avoid my question.

With a turn, Aziraphale gestured to the large structure he had been strolling towards before he heard the all-too-familiar voice of his oldest companion. Crowley looked at it and pulled a face. “A church.”

“Ah,” The angel smiled, “not just any old church! Notre Dame! One of the most famous cathedrals in all the world!”

“I like the one in Prague better, you know, the one that looks spooky.” Crowley spoke. “Or that one in Cologne, the one that claims to have the bones of the Three Kings and they’re covered in gold and gems.”

Aziraphale huffed. “You’ve never even been inside, you silly fool.”

“Been in one church in all my life, and it was to save you from a stupid death.” The demon replied, missing the look that crossed Aziraphale’s face. That moment was… rather important to the Principality, it was when feelings were made certain for him. He glanced at Crowley, who seemed to be rambling now, having corrected himself.

He had been in more churches, apparently, but they were ones where devil worshippers or demons had found ways to ruin the holiness of them. And nine out of ten, Crowley only ended up there cause some idiot summoned him while drunk.

“Well, while you wander down memory lane of foolish teenagers and dark ‘warlocks’, I shall wander into the cathedral.” Aziraphale spoke up as he turned on his heel, making his way over before he felt long fingers gently grab his shoulder. “Yes, dear?”

“Can I come with?”

This made the angel pause and give the taller man a funny look. “Crowley, did your melted shoes and me anointing your feet for hours to help heal them not make it obvious that you cannot walk on consecrated ground?”

“I think me howling in pain from having to peel my melted shoes and damaged socks off was the clue, or me making a total arse outta myself in front of stupid nazis as I practically tap danced to keep from standing still for too long, but I’d still like to see it. Been so much buzz about it for centuries, and there were all those films that came out about it, even one recently, been wanting to see this place for myself. Plus, it’s a gothic cathedral, that’s got to account for something, right? You know, what with it being demonic looking and the like.”

“Crowley…” Aziraphale started, but the demon walked past him towards the entrance. “My dear, I don’t think that’s a very good idea-!”

One foot was on the first step up to the door and Crowley buckled, dropping with a sharp hiss, falling on his back as he clutched his foot. Aziraphale was quick to come to his side, ignoring the looks of Parisians and tourists nearby. “Oh gracious, are you alright?! Did you not realize that this is still Catholic, despite how spooky it looks? It’s going to be a bit worse than a little church in Germany.”

“No shit, angel!” Crowley snapped at him, sitting up and removing his boot and sock, looking at his foot. Aside from the scales, the only thing different about it to a normal person would be what looked like a red sunburn, but to Aziraphale, it was clearly a burn of holy grounds. It had only been a moment for the burn to take place, not like he had stood there for a while, so Aziraphale was able to remove the pain with a snap of his fingers.

“Crowley, maybe you can wander around while I’m inside. I know there is a lovely bakery not too far, and the Seines is nice to drop things on people while on one of the bridges, I’d rather you not suffer.”

“Nope.” He shook his head, putting on his sock. “I’m too curious, it’s in my nature.”

“That it is.” Aziraphale sighed as he looked about, waiting for the man to finish getting his boot back on and to regain his pride from that little display. He spotted a family where a little boy was saying something to his father, who then crouched down, the child climbed up his back. Aziraphale grinned at this before turning his attention to his friend. “My dear, I just had the most brilliant idea for you to get inside!”

“You’ll go inside and draw a satanic symbol on the floor, thus corrupting it for a bit?”

“No! I mean…” He moved, turning his back to Crowley as he rested his knees on the ground. “Climb on my back.”

Crowley just looked at him. “What?”

The angel sighed loudly. “Get on my back, I will hold onto you, and this way you can go inside with no problems.”

“Can you even lift me?”

“Crowley, I am a Principality, I am much stronger than I look. Besides, how many times have I carried your drunken and or sleeping self around while you were practically dead weight?”

The snake demon shrugged. “Alright, but if you complain of back aches later, that’s your fault.” He got up and moved to get on the other’s back, before nearly yelping when Aziraphale suddenly stood up, making Crowley wrap his legs around the other’s stomach, his arms around his shoulders. “Damn, angel! It’s like I weigh nothing to you!”

“I’ve carried stacks of books that weigh more than you ever will, my dear.” Aziraphale said with a bit of smug pride as he walked up the stairs, ignoring more stares from people as he opened the doors.

Crowley’s eyes widened a bit behind his shades as he looked inside. He could sense the Godly blessings of this place, felt a bit like when one touched an old television screen when it was on static, a light tingle under the skin. The inside was massive, beautiful, and made Crowley feel so tiny. He was in a house of God, and it felt wrong, yet… with Aziraphale here, giving him permission, it felt a bit right.

He wasn’t here to cause trouble, his natural curiosity, which got him into the whole demon shtick anyway, was too strong for him to ignore being in here. He hadn’t paid too much attention when he was in that church in 1941, he was too worried about Aziraphale, and the other ones he had wandered into (or were summoned into) were damaged.

Here he was now though, inside of one of Europe’s most famous gothic buildings, kept alive by a writer who didn’t want to see it go to waste in the 1800s.

The demon paused and looked at Aziraphale, who seemed lost in his own thoughts as he walked about, seeming to let Crowley look around from his perch. “Do you wanna take a seat?” He asked the blond, who looked at him out of the corner of his eye.

“Can you sit on a pew?”

“We’ll find out.”

Aziraphale made his way over to one near the front, a woman stopped him for a moment, asking in English, an American tourist, if his friend was alright.

“Ah,” Aziraphale smiled, “he’s alright, he stepped wrong outside and now his foot hurts, but he didn’t want to wait for it to stop aching.” Crowley nearly groaned out loud at the excuse the other had come up with to explain why he was carrying a grown man on his back.

She seemed to believe the lie, damn curious humans, and Aziraphale stepped away to allow Crowley to take a seat. It wasn’t easy, Crowley didn’t dare put his feet on the ground, it would be ten times worse than it was outside, so he had to step on the pew.

There was no burn, just more of the television static, so it was safe. Who the hell would bless a seat anyway? He sat down, cross-legged, and the angel sat down next to him with a small, content sigh as he looked up at the sight before them. Clearly the back of the cathedral was where the holy men in charge would speak to the masses, under beautiful stain glass, and symbols of God, The Son, and The Holy Ghost.

Aziraphale put a hand on Crowley’s knee, turning to him to whisper. “What do you think?”

“It’s beautiful, I’ll give your lot’s fan club that. Probably the first demon in history to really appreciate what humans can do when building homes for God. Wonder if She has a favorite somewhere in the world.”

“Lots of them, actually.” Aziraphale replied. “So many have a little something that just makes Her love them more than some others. I don’t blame Her, I can be the same with my books, and I know you are with your plants.”

“You know nothing about me and my plants.” Crowley grumbled, his eyes drifting about. “Speaking of books. We’re here because of Victor, aren’t we?”

Aziraphale blinked, his cheeks suddenly a bit pink from embarrassment. “Yes, uhh… I do try to stop by once a year, to pay my respects.”

“Why not at his grave?”

“Oh, I do, but as an angel, I think the most respect can be paid towards the building he saved from neglect.”

Crowley couldn’t argue with that, so he nodded. Aziraphale had been good friends with the write Victor Hugo, and even Crowley couldn’t deny that he had read through a few of his books, even the ones that could very well be mistaken for bricks. He was rather shocked at how dark The Hunchback of Notre Dame was as a book, young girls being preyed on by creepy older men, a deformed human being treated as a mistake and a monster, a holy man who was doing things that demons were known to influence, dark stuff.

When Victor had died, he remember Aziraphale had spent the day in his shop, just reading away at one of the man’s works. He did go to the funeral, Crowley did not. He had gone back to sleep, seeing as it had been the 1800s and Crowley spent most of it asleep, outside of a few rare times where he couldn’t sleep and pestered humans and Aziraphale.

He had been awake the day the author died, and he just sat with his angel as he quietly mourned in his own way. Aziraphale could be emotional when he wanted to be, but sometimes his more obvious expression of grief was being silent and reading with a frown on his face, Crowley knew his friend all too well. He remembered taking Aziraphale out for dinner that evening, his treat, and they spent the night in the bookshop, toasting wine to humans who have changed things for the better, even in little ways.

“He was an excellent poet and artist.” Crowley spoke softly, hearing Aziraphale hum in agreement. “And apparently a hell of a sex fiend, so many mistresses. His little black book is more infamous than anything he’s ever written.” He deserved the punch to the arm from the angel, but he still got a laugh from Aziraphale.

“Yes, well, he was still a respectful man. He stood for what he believed in, for freedom and liberty, to be one’s self, to stand up for what was right.” Aziraphale replied as he looked at Crowley, there seemed to be something on the man’s face, like there was a weight to his words, a personal one.

“Yeah.” The demon put his hand over the one that rested on his knee. “‘To love is to act’. That was his, seems like a good idea, even if the word love is… meh.” There wasn’t any venom or hate in Crowley’s voice at the last part of his statement, and Aziraphale didn’t comment on it.

“Right, my dear. You are correct, that is his.” A smile came to Aziraphale. “When we’re done here, would you like to go out for lunch? My treat, afterwards, we can do to the Louver. I’d love for you to tell me more silly stories about Da Vinci.”

“Sounds good. Besides, this place is making my limbs feel numb, and that probably means it’s time to go.”

The angel let the demon get on his back once more, walking out as they discussed where would the best place for lunch was and if Crowley should be allowed to make loud, lewd jokes about naked people in religious art when they got to the museum.

END

--

Originally, this was just an excuse to write the hilarious mental image of Aziraphale taking Crowley into a church on his back, but I did a bit of research of Victor Hugo and found the quote and damnit, I had to throw that in.

(Also, yes, he was a hell of a womanizer and every brothel in Paris closed for his funeral cause a lot of ladies attended).

Thanks for reading

(this is also posted on ao3, under the same title and by me, RiYuYami and I really need to change that name lol)

[ongfreestyle]

Coffee and College

A Jaehyun college coffee bullet au that ZERO people asked for

So anyway, you're in your second year of college and you're in the groove of things (kinda) and all is well

You're on your way to your 9am French I class on the first day and you feel your phone vibrating

It's your bf and you smile thinking "aaww it's our 3yr anniversary n he's calling already to say good morning"

More like... goodbye

Yep. 8:45am he calls you to dump you in the driest most uncool way

"listen. I just ... I know this is random, but....I don't wanna do this anymore."

"oh. Uh. What? Sorry I didn't hear you?"

"I'm sorry, I just can't do this anymore I want to break up with you. I'm sorry."

"oh. Ok. Fine. Sure. Umm...if you wanna talk about it later. Then...yeah..I have French class now bye."

End of call and start of class

Yep you're third row from the back and you plan to pay attention to the syllabus talk and following lesson but

You're definitely tearing up

Like literally WHO DOES THAT?? Just dumps you at 8am no explanation??

So anyways there are teardrops on your notes now and ink isn't tear proof so...rip

Anyways thirty minutes in and your head in kinda just down and you're kinda just crying quietly

And then this kid slides into the seat next to you

He's v late

And v cute even through the tears

And he's smiling really big even though the teacher just scolded him

He sets his coffee down and looks at you wiping snot and tears away and he hands you a napkin from his bag

You take it and mutter a "thanks"

And a moment later he slides his coffee to you too

"I didn't drink it yet"

"it's an espresso, extra caffeine"

"I made it myself"

And he's back to taking notes

And you're still kinda pouting, but it's been 45+ mins so you try to at least write down the homework assignment

And you decide to sip the stupid espresso it's actually pretty good

The next day you find yourself at the school cafeteria and guess who it is??

Espresso boy!!

And it turns out that he's even cuter in uniform!

You go to order some food and he greets you with a big smile

"feeling better today?"

"kinda"

"rough day yesterday, huh?"

"yeah. Can I have a breakfast burrito?"

"no coffee?"

"no, but thanks for the free coffee yesterday. It helped. I owe you one"

"no you don't, it's on the house. And so the one I'm about to make you next. It's today's special!"

Who are you to deny another free coffee? So you take his offer and a few minutes later you're at your table eating your breakfast and doing your French homework

And the special coffee is really good

Then one of your friends comes by and is giving you a weird look

"are you drinking the nasty coffee from the cafeteria??"

"yep. Its actually really good"

And your friend's like ??? "It's usually bitter and gross tho ?? Like 10 times outta 10"

And you shrug and get back to work and your friend grabs some food and starts doing their work too

The day goes on and finally you get some time to yourself to think about yesterday

Your ex hasn't called or texted. Nothing. And it just hits you like wow. I'm. Single.

Cool.

Except not cool because you got no closure or explanation and ouch.

So you hate it but just like yesterday, you're crying again. Just. Uglier crying.

And your roommate comes back and is like "awww sweetie, fuck him"

And she says if you wipe your face she'll take you out for ice cream

So fuck the snot and tears, you want some damn ice cream

And out you go!!

Free ice cream you two stop at a park on campus and there's a basket game going on

And your roommate is like SKSSKDJS "LOOK IT'S JOHNNY SKSJDJ"

English??

"that means holy shit it's the hottest tallest nicest guy in school and he's playing basketball look at his ARMS BITCH"

So guess who's watching a pickup game of bball while eating ice cream?

You two!

Oh and guess who else is playing and is red and sweaty and had a nice jump shot?

Coffee boy.

Yup and you might not be interested in the Score, but dammit the view was nice

The game ends and Johnny is the first to come over to the side lines n greet your roommate

She's batting her eyelashes and telling him he did amazing even tho they lost

And he's smiling and chugging water as he goes on talking and coffee boy and a few of his friends are on the sidelines now looking at you

Coffee Boy is the first to say hi and all you can do is say hi back

And thank him for the coffee again

He shrugs, "no problem. Coffee fixes almost everything in college"

Almost everything. And there's an awkward silence

"see you around." He says and he walks away

Like that you never find out his name and life moves on

French class is going well and you sit in the front now and coffee boy is always late and sits in the back

You really don't do anything except exchange glances

Then midterms are coming up and you are a bit panicked bc u definitely neglected French studies

So like any good college student you cram like hell

In the library at midnight you're trying to learn vocabulary, conjugations, grammar points

You look insane by 1am bit you can't stop then you hear someone coming I'm the library

It's (literally if you can guess by now) coffee boy

And he's got 4 coffee cups in a holder with him and a huge backpack

He spots you and waves

"mind if I sit with you?"

"mind if I claim two of the coffees?"

"there all yours" and he sits next to you and slides the holder to you just like when you first met

"I made them myself"

"so you make these awesome brews?"

"yeah the schools coffee recipe is shitty."

"well maybe you should major in business and open a coffee shop. They're really good."

"maybe I will"

And you two study quietly and you peek over to see him going over French vocab

"let's quiz each other?"

"sure"

And it's 2am and you guys realize you're both fukced

Like. No vocab is sticking and the coffee had you two literally SHAKING

And by 3am you guys are just cracking up

"I never learned your name coffee boy"

"Jaehyun. Jung Jaehyun."

"well. Good luck with the test tomorrow because I. Give. Up."

And you get up to leave and he offers to walk you home and you accept for safety reasons

"I'm glad to see you so happy. You're pretty like that."

"I'm an ugly crier, huh"

"kinda."

"okay, not the gentleman answer, but I admire your honesty"

"thanks. I hope you have a good night"

Yeah the walk back was not long at all. Too bad because you really were enjoying your time

But 9am French !!!

Midterms are over after a week and it's back to the daily grind

But days are way better when you have French now bc Jaehyun sits next to you (when he's on time and the seats open) and you guys joke around alot during speaking practice

He's brings you a new coffee everyday and asks you how it tastes and what he should add or take away

And you kinda hang out at the cafeteria now so you can talk to him while he's working

Ooppsss you have developed a small™ crush on Jaehyun and it's not going away anytime soon

You even open up to him about why you crying the day you met (tho u vowed to NVR speak of it again)

Yeah now the crush is nvr dying :)))

Bc your friends notice that you always go watch him play b-ball even tho it's not a REAL game

And he always has a coffee for you

And you two are always studying French

But like...you guys are making questionable grades...so...what's up??

NOTHING

French I finals are coming and you and Jaehyun are at your usual spot in the library, except this time YOU bought HIM coffee

"what brand ?"

"gross school brand that you didn't make, but is LOADED with caffeine"

"gross. Hand me one"

"cheers!"

And it's study time

But he's not focused

Like he never is and neither are you, but it's really off now

"is it that bad?"

"the coffee? Yeah. And my French grade? It's even worse. I won't make French 2."

And you're like WTF WTF NO FRENCH 2 WITH JAEHYUN YOUR CRUSH WHO LITERALLY GOT YOU THRU THIS SEMESTER ????

"Jaehyun. We are going to fix your grade with this final. I SWEAR."

You're like REAL STUDY MODE: ON

And he has this small smile on his face.

Sly....

"what?"

"you WANT me in your French 2 class don't you?"

"uuhhh-duhh free coffee to keep me up during le snooze fest"

"you know it's not free. It comes outta my pay check"

"okay, then I owe it to you to get you to pass this class and get to French 2"

"I guess."

Yeah. You're DRILLING info into ur heads ,,,, but Jaehyun is like ____ blank.

So you kinda snap

"yo do u wanna fail??? At least TRY!"

"I can't focus. I'm confused about something."

"past tense conjugations?"

"you."

Pause.

"I can't tell if you're over your ex. You took it hard and I'm trying to wait, but..."

???????????

"my ex? My ex is my ex...I'm over that"

"you never really brought it up much. I wouldn't know."

"Past tense."

"and also. The coffee."

"your coffee is good! I'm serious, Jaehyun!"

"yeah, but do like me...? Or my coffee?"

"both?"

Jaehyun is not making this easy for you okay

"I mean, if I didn't bring you coffee, would you still hang with me? Teach me French n stuff?"

"of course."

"so you...........like......me?"

HELL YES, but you settle for a simple yep

Then he just looks at you seriously

"you LIKE me LIKE me..like....LIKE LIKE?"

"uuhh...if I understood all of the likes right, then....yeah. I do like you."

OH AND THAT DOES IT

He is so reeeeeedddd

Like this boy GONE

You. His crush. Likes. Him. Wtf

Yeah he cannot quit grinning

And when you move on from the topic he can't focus on a single word you're saying

Finals day comes and you feel okay about your score and Jaehyun said he wants to leave it in the past

And you two go hang out at the cafeteria

And he's looking at you across the table

Randomly he just smiles at you

"I..wanna be your boyfriend...."

bc y'all nvr because s/o's officially soooo

Your heart rate

Lemme draw it

/\/\/\/\_______💀

Wow

He said it so cutely

Damn that's crazy bc you would love if he was your bf

And when you say that!!

Reference to drawing

After becoming official you two are like the cutest couple ever

And you go to French 2 and he's back in French 1

He got a 58 on the final :/

But OH WELL you're his tutor now

And you guys actually study

And he doesn't feel like he has to bribe you with coffee to make you like him

So with some hard work you both kick your caffeine addictions

And you guys spend the days making stupid jokes and playing basketball together

Cramming for French while high on 4 coffees each

(old habits die hard)

And you two tease each other so much

It's a miracle you get any work done really

Jaehyun passes his French 1 class with an A+ and he literally runs to your dorm to tell you

You crash into each other

He holds you to steady you

And hes like "babe I passed"

"that's great!"

"it's all thanks to you I could kiss you, but I have coffee breath and-"

"that's nothing new"

Okay and cue the totally cheesy kiss

Where Jaehyun's like "you're right, but our first kiss should be special"

Valentine Boy is a ROMANTIC okay

But it doesn't matter

You can't resist leaning in

And he lets out a fake groan like he hasn't been dying to kiss you since he first saw u snotting all over your notes

Yep he liked you then.

And the lean in was so slow, but when your lips met it was worth it

And the coffee taste.... wasn't so bad anyway

[ihaileysenpai]

An Unxepected Evening (A Hailey X Bendy Oneshot) By: Nicey

(Trash can Nicey DELIVERED) Third Person POV Hailey smiled to herself as she doodled on the floor, practicing different poses as anatomy practice. She had just finished recording and editing her Christmas QNA, she was just waiting for it to upload now. What better way to kill time then to practice something you enjoy? She yawned loudly, it was getting pretty late and she was tired from the long day she’s had. After the video uploads, she’ll head for bed. She didn’t expect someone to knock on the door all of a sudden. Reluctantly, she got up from her bed and opened the door. “Oh, heya Bendy, what’s up?” She asked, blushing lightly. She had gotten a handful of ship-implying questions in her QNA that embarrassed her a little, but she pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind and focused on what Bendy was wearing. He wasn’t wearing his usual attire, surprisingly, instead he was dressed in a simple, white T-Shirt and black shirts that almost blended in with his skin. “Hey Hailey, I didn’t wake you, did I?” He asked, stretching his arms above his head. “Nah, I was just drawing. What’s up?” She asked, nonchalantly planting a hand on her hip, her smile making the gesture seem relaxed instead of sassy or irritated. “Well, Boris really wanted to see you, so I offered to bring you over if you were for it. I called, but you didn’t answer, so I came over in person,” he answered, his tail swishing lazily behind him. He was obviously tired as well, his attire seeming to simulate he was about to go to bed before Boris suddenly wanted to see the firey red-head. Hailey internally sighed, her phone had died a bit ago, and she hadn’t bothered to check if it was charged yet. “Sure! Why not? Boris is my little buddy, I’d love to see him!” She answered honestly, smiling lightly. She held up a hand to signal to Bendy to give her a minute and quickly grabbed a jacket, slipping it on over her shirt. “Ready, or does Merida need her bow too?” Bendy teased, smirking slightly. Hailey flicked his forehead and walked out of her house, closing the door behind her. The two walked most of the way in silence, until Hailey noticed Bendy shaking a bit. Hailey smirked to herself, thinking of a way to tease him. “You cold? That’s what you get for going out in shorts and a T-shirt when it’s 40 degrees out,” she teased, resulting in Bendy freezing and blushing lightly in embarrassment. “Yeah yeah, I was in a rush, shut up,” Bendy replied, rolling his eyes. “I could warm you up if you want,” Hailey offered, smiling innocently. Bendy broke, his face as red as Hailey’s hair. Hailey giggled and handed him her jacket. Bendy blinked a couple times, muttering a quiet “oh” and taking it. He slipped it on and it fit him quite well, despite being a little long on his figure. “Oh? Why oh?” Hailey asked, confused. “Nothing important,” Bendy answered, his blush dying down. Hailey tried to think of what she said and her brain almost imploded, smacking Bendy on the back of the head. “Get yo mind outta the gutter!” She scolded, blushing harshly. “Oh come on, cut me some slack Hale, you should know me well enough by now that happens when I hang out with Nice and her teasing for too long,” Bendy retorted, fixing his hair that got messed up by the smack. “Wait, Nice?” Hailey asked, confused. “Nice wanted to be with Boris tonight. I swear to god she cannot stop hugging him and gushing about how ‘adorable, innocent and huggable’ he is,” He explained, using air quotes as he explained Nice’s demeanor. Hailey giggled to herself and rolled her eyes. Of course Nicey would be squealing about stuff like that with no shame. The two made it to the hotel the brothers were staying in and Bendy opened the door, holding it open for Hailey. “Ladies first~” he offered, a flirty tone laced in his voice. “Yeah, so go inside, I’ve got the door,” Hailey replied, smiling playfully. Bendy blinked a couple times as he processed it before the two heard laughter from inside. “HOLY SHIT THAT IS BRILLIANT!” Cuphead howled, holding onto a counter to keep himself from falling. Bendy flipped him off before ushering Hailey inside, letting the door close behind him. The two made it to Bendy and Boris’s hotel room, only to hear loud squealing from inside. “Nice?” Bendy asked, grabbing his key for the room. “Yep,” Hailey answered, recognizing the ear piercing scream. Bendy sighed and unlocked the door, opening it. Only to see Boris being trapped in a tight snuggle-hug by Nice, who didn’t look like she was gonna let him go. “Nice, can you let my brother go?” Bendy asked, getting a hideous hiss from Nice in response. Hailey giggled and rolled her eyes, taking a seat on the other bed. The four talked with each other for a while, Nice finally let Boris go and he went to hide behind Hailey in case Nice got grabby again. After a couple hours passed, Nice said she had to leave and get to sleep, she had to babysit tomorrow. Once she was gone, Boris flopped onto his bed and fell asleep immediately. “Guess he didn’t wanna sleep with Nicey in the room?” Hailey guessed, confused. “Last time he did that, Nice started screaming so loud and high pitched my goggles shattered,” Bendy explained, shrugging. Yeah, Hailey was glad Boris waited for Nice to leave. “Anyway, I should probably go t-“ Hailey started, but stopped when Hailey grabbed her wrist. “It’s not safe, just… stay here, alright?” He asked, blushing lightly. “Boris and I can share a bed, don’t worry about that.” Hailey blinked in confusion. This was new. She’s stayed over later than this before and he’s never cared. She sighed and shook her head. “I can’t. My phone’s at home and my parents don’t know where I am, I’m sorry,” she declined, standing up and grabbing her jacket. Bendy sighed and stood up. “Fine, but at least let me walk you home,” he compromised, grabbing his jacket and slipping it on. Hailey smiled slightly and nodded. The two walked a majority of the way to Hailey’s home in silence, nothing but their steps making a sound. Once they reached Hailey’s house, Bendy grabbed Hailey’s wrist again, pulling her into a hug. Hailey froze, confused and shocked, blushing lightly. “Be safe, alright? We’re leaving town tomorrow,” Bendy explained. Oh. Right. Bendy, Boris and the others never stayed in any place for long. This was the longest they stayed in one area. Yet… it still hurt. “Well, say goodbye before you leave, alright?” Hailey asked, pulling away from the hug. She tried her best to ignore the stabbing pain in her chest, willing her tears away. Bendy’s eyes softened and he gently kissed her cheek, gently cupping her face in his hands. “Of course I will. I love you, Hailey.”

RESPONSE:

(Late lol) DAYUM NICEY LOOK AT YOU WRITE! Boris, bless his soul

[mirrorjumper]

Paint Me

Word count: 1284 Pairing: Quicksilver/Dee Summary: @sketchyziedrak​: “DRABBLE TIME: Yes, can I get a "Get Me" "Paint Me" "Quiet Me"? Drabbles from whichever ship in BNHA and OW not limited to canon, OCs can be included B)” I got a prompt over on my main blog and wanted to write something to explore Dee and Quicksilver a bit more. So take this prompt, “Paint Me”  from my hands and enjoy! Hope you all are doing well and enjoy this little piece of writing!

Quicksilver sat quietly as he finished his second drink of the night; it was what Dee called a “Brandy” - a drink from the planet Earth. They said that if he was going to still be putting hover fuel into his system, then it might as well taste better than the vodka he got. Personally, he didn’t mind the burn of the alcohol. He wasn’t really drinking it for the flavor in the first place.He decided however, this drink was too luxurious for his taste and thought it would be best to find someone to share in the extravagance so he didn’t feel so under dressed simply by drinking a third round tonight. 

Of course, who else other than Dee, he thought, would be the first person to pop into his head. His hand tapped a few tabs on the holopad, a honing beacon showing Dee’s position in the bay they were in. He had expected them to be anywhere but the Outlook at this time of night, but he shrugged his shoulders as he grabbed the bottle and an extra glass, making his way to where he’d find his partner. 

“Yo stranger! Head caught in the stars tonight?” Quicksilver let the door slide open to reveal a view of the rainbow nebula in front of him. This view would never get old, he thought to himself.  “Mmm.... Somethin’ like that.” Dee responded absentmindedly, their attention focused on the screen in front of them.  “Well don’t mind me then, I just thought I’d deliver a glass of brandy since it’s way too indulgent for my tastes.” Quicksilver plopped down in the seat next to him, setting both glasses down on the hard light table between them and pouring them each a measurable amount of the amber liquid. “I don’t see why you still won’t let me have vodka. It’s cheap and gets the job done.”

“I told ya, If yer gonna get drunk, might as well not look like yer on the verge of dyin’ with each drink.” Dee casually picked up the glass, swirling it’s contents to release some of it’s aroma and taking a moment to appreciate it before taking a gratuitous sip.  “Eventually the burn isn’t so bad. Just takes a bit to get to that point.”  “No thanks. I ain’t a depressed old man like ya’ yet. Kill me if I ever get there.” Quicksilver took no hesitation in knocking back their drink, glass being refilled as he set it back down on the table.  “Dully noted. Care to go out by way of lightning shifter or light shifter?” Dee’s eyes never left the tablet, Quicksilver taking note of the stylus in their hand. “Oh fuck you ya’ ass. But for all intents and purposes, feed me t’the Taitons. Least I’d get a good fuck outta it before goin’.” “You really don’t stop thinking about getting laid, do you? I bet even right now you’re filling out one of those red night forms, huh?” Quicksilver leaned forward; his sense of curiosity, he admitted, was getting the best of him.  “For yer own information,” Dee tilted the pad out of Quicksilver’s line of sight as they smacked the stylus against the top of his head, “Sometimes I’m thinkin bout how nosy a certain brown, curly headed fuck gets about things they shouldn’t be seein’ yet.” “The hell was that for?!!” He rubbed the top of his head.  Dee finally met his glance, both eyebrows raised unamused as he took his glass, shooting the liquid back into his mouth before setting it back down with a sense of finality. “Let an artist work.”  “...Fair enough.” Quicksilver found a small blush heating his face. Dee was probably one of the most expressive people he knew. With most people you had to guess how they felt, but with Dee what you saw was what you got, and that was something Quicksilver treasured more than he would ever admit. However, It wasn’t very often that Dee looked at him like that, all pretenses dropped and a seriousness that burned with a kind of tone that you didn’t want to mess with. Of course it didn’t help that their teal and green colored eyes were that much more emphasized by stunning eye makeup.  Quicksilver waited patiently as Dee finished. Normally he’d have knocked back the next glass as he did the previous one but he noticed as he watched Dee, it hadn’t become that hard to do as he watched them. The way Dee’s face had become intent in what they were working on, the way their hand moved effortlessly over the surface, the way their expression would shift and change with each moment that passed by. Maybe it was the alcohol finally kicking in, but taking it slow, Quicksilver thought, might not be so bad at all.  “Well, ho-lyyy shit, y’can be patient...” Quicksilver was startled out of his trance as Dee stretched their arms above their head.  “As if there was any doubt...Pshhh...”  “Okay Mr. I’m-gonna-finish-almost-a-whole-bottle-a’-brandy-by-myself... Sure sounds like y’know how t’pace yerself... Come back to me an tell me that Celice can make water outta fire. That’s th’ day I believe ya.” Dee reached over to drink down the last contents of the bottle. 

Quicksilver tried to snatch the bottle away as he watched the contents disappear “HEY!”  “In my defense,” Dee licked their lips and gave a sultry grin, “I bought it. If anythin’ I should be th’ one makin’ a fuss over th’ fact that y’started without me. Ass. Anyways, calm down or else I ain’t showin’ you this thing I worked my hand over.” Quicksilver plopped back in his chair, arms folded as he let out a disapproving sigh. “Fine, whatever. But I’m getting that cheap vodka so you can’t say shit next time.”  “By all means, go for it. But don’t come cryin’ to me when.... Never mind. Y’ain’t gonna listen anyways.” Dee sat back as they handed the pad over to a smug Quicksilver. “Here. Now quit whinin’ ‘bout me not showin’ ya.” Quicksilver took the holopad in his hand and looked down at the picture that was displayed. His grin quickly fading as awe spread over his expression. To call the piece he had the privilege of seeing anything but a masterpiece, that would truly be an understatement and a half. “Is this... really something you painted?” “You saw me workin’ on it, didn’t ya?” Dee clicked his tongue in his mouth as he rolled his eyes.  His fingers zoomed in on the details, utterly amazed at how realistic it looked. “No. I... I just had no idea you knew how to paint like this... I only ever see you draw outfits, but portraits like this... Holy shit. It looks like you took a pic of me in the middle of a fight.” “Well, they say t’ draw things that inspire ya. So there y’go.” Dee looked over at Quicksilver with a smug grin. “B’sides, whats th’ point of tellin’ everyone everythin’ right away. Life’s like Poker. Gotta know when t’show yer hand an’ when t’ fold. Keep em’ guessin.”  “Well fuck.... I don’t know what to say.” “Y’could start off with a ‘Dee yer amazin’ and great an’ I can’t believe I got a good ol’ pal who’d ever wanna draw my ugly mug.”  “So you admit that you’re attracted to an ugly person? I think that says more about you than it does about me.” “Someone’s gotta stand there an’ make me look pretty.” Quicksilver handed the tablet back to them, a quirky smile playing across his lips. “Well, consider it an honor if it means you draw me as a masterpiece like this more often.” 

[witch-of-the-west-country]

The story so far

Writing a little something for @emilys-arty-farty-stuff and just wanted her approval on the first part before I continue. 2007 The second Emily stepped outside, the Louisiana sun hit her like a brick to the face. Her glasses seemed to magnify the glare more than was scientifically possible, and the heat settled over her like a heavy blanket. Holy shit. She didn't ever think she'd get used to this. Coming from the damp and drizzle of the East of England to here wasn't just a culture shock, it was a thermal shock too. Not to mention what the humidity did to her fucking hair…… She'd lived in Dulvey for two months now and hadn't made a single friend. The people there weren't actively unfriendly, but they didn't seem to know what to make of her with her accent and her penchant for wearing odd socks, and she'd been carefully avoided the entire time. Emily went down the school steps, feeling the heat from the concrete baking up through the soles of her Vans. She was thinking of nothing but getting home to the air conditioned coolness and sitting in a dim room to draw. She had an idea for picture she wanted to do, and it had been burning in her brain all afternoon. There was a crowd gathered at the bottom of the steps, huddled in a rough circle, but in her artistic daydream she didn't register them, and before she had time to fully realise what she'd done, she'd plunged into the midst of the mass. Emily recognised both boys. Being ignored had made her more observant, and she'd learned names and characters as a coping mechanism. The huge guy on the left was Brent Chambers, a walking cliché - complete Jock, tall, muscular, tanned and blond. Captain of the football team, dating some scuzzy cheerleader. She stood of to one side, blowing bubbles with her gum and watching the events unfold with malicious interest. The boy on the right was Lucas Baker, and he was the complete polar opposite of Brent. From what Emily could gather, he lived on the edge of the bayou - she'd heard people call him Swamp Boy - and he was tall and skinny with an unfortunate beak of a nose and an air of permanent discontent. They were facing off, an unlikely match, and Emily shuddered at the thought of what the bigger boy would do to poor Lucas. The two of them didn't notice her sudden appearance, and Emily tried to back out of the arena, but the wall of people had closed behind her and she was trapped. “You better fuckin’ apologise to my girl, Baker. I'm tellin’ ya now!” Lucas sneered. “I ain't fuckin’ apologisin’ for somethin’ I ain't done!” he retorted. “You were fuckin’ touchin’ her, you pervert!” said Brent, outraged, and a murmur of excitement rippled around the crowd. “I bumped into her!” corrected Lucas, helpless frustration written plain on his face. “She should look where she's fuckin’ walkin’!” Brent snorted. “Bumped into her and touched her ass,” he said. Lucas shrugged. “Her ass was in the way. I can't help that. It's fuckin’ big enough.” Brent’s girlfriend - Brandi, was that her name? - gasped, her mouth hanging open, her wad of gum a pink lump on her tongue that looked like a tumour. Brent shook a thick finger in the skinny boy's face, the tip nearly brushing the end of that big nose, and Emily saw a snarl start to twist Lucas’s mouth at the imposition. For a second he looked like he was about to bite the digit right off. “Nobody touches my girl's ass an’ gets away with it!” “You sure about that?” asked Lucas. “I mean, from what I heard, she's pretty much fucked the entire football team……” “Oooh!” The combined syllable swelled from the assembled crowd. They were hungry for blood, and now it was sure to be shed. Emily was jostled from behind as people attempted to get closer, and though she dug in her heels she was shoved forward. Brent had raised his fist, ready to land the first punch, but Lucas hadn't moved, standing his ground, defiant. He lifted his chin as if daring the bigger boy to go ahead, and in that instant Emily saw his profile outlined against the burning orb of the sun - proud, unafraid, and about to be destroyed. Holy shit, she realised - he was beautiful….. Without even considering the hazard to her own person, and before she'd even realised what she was doing, Emily leapt between them. Ragged chatter broke out in the onlookers. Surprise, laughter, amazement. Emily looked up at the bruiser towering over her, his fist still raised but slowly drooping in bewilderment. “What the fuck…..?” he began, and trailed off. “Leave him alone, you wanker!” yelled Emily, adrenaline flooding her system and speaking the words for her. Brent frowned, and looked over at one of his wingmen, a smaller jock who just shrugged. The football captain adjusted his expression. “Now listen up, girlie - “ he started, but Emily was on a high now and tore on ahead. “No, you listen up, you massive twat! Just fuck off, right!” She put two hands against his broad chest and attempted to push him away. It was like trying to move a wall. For a moment, Brent looked like he might just shove her aside, but there were a lot people watching, and he evidently didn't want to be seen manhandling a girl. “This don't concern you, whatever-the-hell-your-name-is, so just get the fuck outta the way. This is men's business.” “My name is Emily, and you're not a man - you're a dickhead. And a fucking bully. So just piss off.” She folded her arms across her chest and stood, glaring up at him. Somewhere in the busy 60 seconds since she'd leapt to Swamp Boy’s rescue, the wave of adrenaline she'd been riding had reached the shore and washed up onto the beach in a tame little dribble, and now she was stranded and out of her depth. But she couldn't back down now. Brent had faltered, the moment was lost, and people were already starting to drift away, the spectacle no longer holding their interest. Trying to save face, the jock snorted. “Fuck this shit. I ain't got time for this.” He looked over the top of her head at Lucas, who still stood behind her. “We'll settle this another time, Baker. When yer little bodyguard ain't around.” Dropping an insulting wink, Brent turned away and strolled off, putting his arm around his girlfriend as they went. Possibly-Brandi shot Emily a confused glance over her shoulder. The gathering dispersed, leaving Emily and Lucas standing alone. Lucas hadn't moved throughout the entire altercation, and now she turned to him, her face burning. He was looking down at her with an expression of pure amazement, apparently lost for words, and Emily took the opportunity to examine his features close up. He wasn't conventionally attractive by any means, but he had good bones in his narrow face and the bluest, most piercing eyes she'd ever seen. She wondered if she had a paint in her palette that would do the shade justice. “Why d’ya do that?” he asked finally. Emily had no good answer, so she improvised. “Dunno. I was worried he was gonna break your face, and I wanted to draw it before it got smashed to shit.” It was the truth, she suddenly realised, although she hadn't known it till this second. “You wanna draw ma face?” He sounded incredulous, but he was blushing, she realised - not like she did, with colour rising in her cheeks, but in his ears, the upper rims reddening as she watched. She shrugged, somewhat reassured that he was apparently feeling as awkward as she was, and for a few seconds they both stood there, blushing in their own way. “Well, whatever,” he said eventually, looking at the ground. “But I coulda taken him, ya know.” “I know,” she lied. “But I didn't wanna risk it.” She paused. “So, can I, then?” “”Can ya what?” “Draw you.” Lucas shrugged, an angular, lopsided gesture that tried to convey the idea that he didn't give a shit whilst actually conveying how self-conscious he was. “Guess I can't stop ya if ya wanna. Free country.” He narrowed his eyes at her, and for a second Emily felt a thrill shoot through her belly, an almost painful sensation that began somewhere under her ribs and ended up near her groin. “I ain't sittin’ still so’s you can do can do it, though,” he cautioned. “Don't like bein’ stared at…..” “That's ok,” she said. “I think you're in my head now, I can draw you from memory.” She winced internally at her words. Christ, Emily, do you think you could sound a bit more weird…..? Lucas looked at her strangely but said nothing. He took a step away. “I gotta go. See ya round, I guess.” He slouched away, Emily watching him go. Snapping out of her reverie, she began to hurry home. The picture she'd planned on drawing before was forgotten, but there was another she just had to put on paper. Emily was exhausted. She'd been up most of the previous night working on her idea, and she hadn't gone to bed until it was finished. The finished work was in the folder she carried, practically burning a hole in it, and she intended to show Lucas if she could work up the nerve. She needed to get him alone - laughable really, as he never seemed to be with anybody. But the school was a busy place, and it was difficult to find any solitude. She spotted him at lunchtime, sat far away from everyone else, slumped on the ground under a tree, long legs stretched out in front of him. He appeared to be reading. Come on, Emily. It's now or never. If he really hates it you can always avoid him for the rest of your life….. Giving herself the dubious pep talk, Emily made her way over to where he sat. Tired as she'd been that morning, she'd made an effort to look good, attempting to tame her wild hair and wearing her favourite cut-offs, but as she walked towards him she could almost feel her hair rebelling, fighting itself out of its straightened lengths and into a wavy snarl. He saw her coming long before she got there, and she had to endure the painful ordeal of being watched as she approached, feeling more self-concious with every step. Her mind tortured her with images of her finally reaching him only to be told to fuck off. He didn't, though. He merely regarded her curiously, one long slender finger marking his place in the battered Stephen King novel. “Hey, Emily,” he said cautiously. She managed a smile, and his mouth twitched in return. He obviously wasn't used to smiling at people. “I did it,” she blurted. He raised his eyebrows. “The drawing, I mean. Of you.” She fumbled in the folder, nervous fingers tweezing the paper from within. Now the time had come, she was embarrassed for him to see it. He sat up straighter, watching her, and she took a deep breath before passing him the picture, painfully aware of her fingernails, bitten down to nothing, as she held it out for inspection. Lucas put his book aside and accepted from her, holding it by the edges with a certain amount of reverence. She watched his face as he scrutinised it, but his expression was unreadable. He hates it! Screamed her brain. Abort! Abort! The drawing was done in coloured pencil, and depicted how she'd seen him in her moment of epiphany yesterday: His profile, set against the sun, his chin high, the light touching the tips of his ears and glowing around his head. She'd exaggerated the illumination, colouring it more brightly than it had really been, creating a kind of halo around him. Emily’s heart beat hard in her chest as his gaze travelled over the paper, going from top to bottom then climbing back up again, but his attention to the drawing meant she could study him at her leisure. There was the faintest peach-fuzz of stubble along the line of his jaw and above his upper lip, softening the hard angles, and the sight of it made her feel inexplicably weak. In a moment of pure insanity she envisaged herself running her hand along it to see how soft it was. His forehead was high, his hairline set back - he would start balding prematurely, she predicted - but the buzzcut he had was starting to grow back in, and the hair on the back of his head looked almost as unruly as hers, sticking up at odd angles. It looked fluffy, though, and now there was another thing she wanted to touch. Feeling odd towering over him, Emily crouched down next to him, watching his eyes scan back and forth. His bottom lip was jutted out slightly in concentration, and Emily felt her face grow hot as she wondered how he would taste. Like cigarettes, most likely - she'd seen him puffing away on more than one occasion. There was a little wrinkle between his eyebrows, a small tuck in the flesh as he frowned, and she let her gaze wander from that to the prominent jut of his nose, lingering over the little bump on the bridge. She wondered it the bump had been caused by an old break. She looked up to his eyes again, blissfully feeding her hunger, but to her horror they were looking right at her, the pale blue circles piercing her. He looked taken aback, though whether it was from his reaction to the picture or to her attention, she couldn't tell. His lips parted, and she found herself biting on her own in response. “This….uh….this is real good, Emily.” He sounded awed, and that feeling she'd had yesterday returned, coursing through her belly, giving her a pleasant little twinge. “‘Cept I don't really look that good in real life,” he said. “You do to me,” she said without thinking, and cringed. He looked startled for a minute, then suspicious, perhaps expecting derision. It was clear he wasn't accustomed to compliments. Emily fought hard to keep her own face open and frank, but she'd embarrassed herself with her sudden admission. He stared at her for an uncomfortably long time before his mouth finally turned up at the corners. “You're a strange one, Emily. But that's ok. I don't mind strange. You wanna sit with me a spell?” Unable to speak, she merely nodded, and sat gingerly alongside him, her back against the same broad trunk. She was careful not to touch him, not just out of fear of any imposition, but because she wasn't sure how her body would react if she did. “Here,” he said, holding the picture out to her. “It's real good. I like it.” She made no move to take it back. She had fully intended to take it home and pin it on the wall above her bed, but seeing his evident satisfaction in it she made a spur of the moment decision. “You can keep it. If you want,” she offered. He frowned. “I can't keep it. Must o’ taken you hours!” “No, really! You can. I can - “ she choked off the words. I can draw another one, she'd been about to say, and she would, but she didn't want him to know that. The next one would be forward facing - a portrait. She wanted to try and capture the ice in his gaze, though whether she'd be able to do it justice she didn't know. He was such an interesting subject. Not pretty in any way, but different enough to stand out in this place where everyone tried to fit in and look the same. Not to mention the fact that she had developed a substantial crush on him in so short a time. Slowly, he pulled the paper back toward him. “Well, if yer sure…..” he said. He looked at it again, the pleasure plain on his face, and just the knowledge that she'd produced something that made him happy in even a small part made Emily feel better than she had in a long time.

[chikotos]

speaking of That my mom is finally recognizing that when I say “i dont feel good” it doesnt mean i have a cold or sth its that Uh, im probably experiencing suicidal thoughts and cant express it well (or at least smth along those lines) and my house has been dirty cuz i havent cleaned in a while or i cant keep it clean and she n my sister cleaned an area and i repeatedly told her not to bc shes always using my sister to do things im not adequate enough to do on time and its rlly not fair to her even if she doesnt realize it cuz like shes only 12 & we dont ever even talk so she shouldnt have to take care of someone 5 years older than her.. and i was gonna clean but I basically slept all day so i could just clean alone at night when I feel safe to walk around the house . i wasnt even tired idk why i slept but now im eerily awake and maybe will be umless i force myself to sleep

its so lonely here and thats only hit me like this year cuz all the time before I would go through periods of hanging out after school maybe.. twice a year? and only hanging out with one person whod have many friends but theyd b my only friend which is a problem i tend to have. but it jst got to the point where im realizing, i think cuz i was in my schools drama program n exposed to lots of friendships, that im jst like ,really fucking lonely. Which is unfortunate because ive always been such an internal person at home and have been able to work creatively but thats all like leaving me? art doesnt make me happy anymore because i dislike my art so much and havent had a platform to share it in so long and i guess I thrive on other ppls opinions of it? and I definitely cant write anymore. I havent been able to zone in on an interest in MONTHS and thats left me creatively drained, a lot. 

I think im starting to rlly, RLLY redirect my complete attention from interests to ppl (which always ends well am i right lads) and it isnt fair to ppl who like, have others and need space and time etc or Uh, dont even know me. but its like a switch like , I can either be creative or i can feel loved and Boy Howdy, do i need both,

its just weird cuz im the only one in my family thats emoitonal like this and I think thats why i feel so isolated. like im not exxagerating when I say my dad has 0 friends tht arent family. my mom has work friends she will hang out with maybe 4 times a year not for work, but shes always complaining abt social situations which I can understand. maybe my siblings r like that too but my sisters young n focuses on minecraft n stuff n hangs out w friends more than me n we barely know each other so its not like id know, maybe my half brother is but whens the last time hes wanted to talk to me right. like i cry all the time and all it does is make my dad angry at memfor being incompetent and make my mom think its her fault and my sister confused and jst takes up everyones time

and its jst all v strange. like i was kinda raised 2 not have friends, inadvertantly i guess. i can remember my mom trying to make me feel better about something along the lines of u can b okay w/out friends if u have family but she jst told me friends dont matter and im never gonna talk to ppl i meet at my age as an adult, so it stuck w/ me and i started to make moral judgements on ppl on small things we could talk out like say, they use homophobic language sometimes but im sure theyd respect me enough to stop, but id make those judgements before we could befriend each other n take a chance, kinda to protect myself from attachments? but later in life ive found ppl who dont do stuff like that, and thats when i focus in on them im an unfair way to them and they r the only person/group of ppl in my life, etc etc and idk how to stop because im so scared of hanging out w/ most ppl alone i guess? but ill still be here, thinking about like example (namedrop bc he doesnt have me tumblr anyways) my friend jacob tht never hung out w/ me outside of school but i fuccin loved that kid n he just stopped talking to me over the summer n ignored my text i send first day of summer and now we see each other and talk briefly but its like he wont let us be friends anymore and smth like this always happens and its So

and tbh how can i expect it to not happen when i limit myself so much n they will have plenty of other close close friends when i dont? and i think ive gotten better but idk anymore. 

and uh, unrelated. I think my dog ive had for 12 years may have to end up being put down this year. hes got cataracts in both eyes and skin diseases and back problems and teeth problems (hes inbred) and hes losing his hearing too and for the past two weeks hes been peeing everywhere and we can let him out but he cant climb stairs anymore n he has to walk them to get to our yard and im the only one w/ the patience to pick him up (hes only 8 pounds) n put him in the yard bc my parents will jst scream at him n my sister doesnt like dogs and hes got seperation issues w me and whines when he cant be in my room which is the farthest from the door out n stuff. and its like rlly stressful my mom will scream at him in front of my sister n brother n me and the other day she said my dad grabbed him by the neck and threw him out on the concrete cuz he peed inside and hes so tiny that thats just gonna make everyting worse and its notmlike i can stop them bc why would anyone listen to me and hed prob b fine for s few more years if he lived in a patient house with ppl who would take him to the vet but theyre prob gonna put him down early snd its gonna b so weird w/out him

when i showered earlier i took s razor with me w/ the intent to cut my thighs, and i did a little, but i never ever draw blood wnd its strange. why am i given these urges when im so fucking terrified of blood. itll still leave marks n stuff but it makes me feel weak ? n ill bruise myself up instead but its never the same. and im such an advocate for help w self harm but i cant for myself. its like i subconsciously want 2 get caught ? idk. i did throw my razor away though and the others i have r rusty and im not THAT much of a dumbass so i dont have options to self harm anymore unless i get new ones. lifehack

and uh lol, having no schedule n it being summer my eating habits r SHIT. it always hurts to eat p much, its at different times n most of the time i just snck only or i dont eat for hours n see black spots n stuff. and when i dont eat its not a body image thing (im nt rlly happy w my nody but its not sth not eating will help with) its cuz i dknt wanna go upstairs for food where my dad is n the snacks r downstairs so its easier, or cuz i forget or cuz i like, want to punish myself? but im too lazy to self harm. its weird

n since ive stopped id’ing as ace officially my internalized lesbophobia has gotten so much worse . im so repressed and lost ans sad, nothinng rly makes sense? I either fall in love w/ anyone who flirts with me or i focus on someone who ill never fucking talk to or see again and imagine countless scenarios n set myself up to b sad. i seek validation from ppl on it but nothhing comes out right or i just cant say it, because other than when i make myself the butt of gay jokes i just cant sven get the words out of my throat that im gay cuz im jst so ashamed and disgusted with myself. ive been looking at pictures of guys lately cuz ive been trying to force myself to like them. back when i thought i was pan it always felt safer bc i could always just love a cis guy or whatever and everything would b okay for my family ykno. and its such a shameful thing for me bc my irl friends who im out to, most see me as v confident abt it at least a little bc im loud abt it u kno, and make all sorts of jokes, and i jst know so many would b surprised or like sad abt that

i want to stop liking girls so much. like holy shit. i have so many straight girl friends and i hate it when they flirt with me because lik, none r my type so i feel nothing but then i feel like i shiuld then feel like No i shouldnt then feel like i shouldnt even be around them bc im a gross disgusting creepo dyke predator. n they always use the excuse of me having a gf so its fine id never hit on them well like, now im single so i have to be DOUBLE careful not to b affectionate w them as im w all my friends and itsssssssssssssmjshfjhdjfhsjdhjshdjshdjhsjdhsjhdjshdk

and i like, think abt this girl alot n yea its romantic even thomwe never fucking talked n rlly i do that w lots of girls and its making me lose out on friendships bc i wanna b their friends somehow bc i think theyre very cool n stuff but i cant stop hodling on to stupid daydreams n idealizations i get to distract me when im sad n its jst stupid like i know its dumb but guess whos boutta keeeeeeppppp doin it??!!!!! boy!!!

and i try so damn hard to talk feeling out, n talk abt who im attracted to n stuff w ppl, n i try so hard to gush but i cant cuz smth comes outta my mouth and then i cant speak past that and no one ends up rlly knowing how i feel, bc ANY time i talk abt anytingngay related abt me its what happens. and i listen to others talking abt tht stuff and i jsut get so god damn JEALOUS bc idk how to express myself 

all these inadequacies n shit is making it rlly hard to see how,im gonna b on my own n its always been like this. at TWELVE YEARS OLD i came to fhe fucking conclusion that i was just gonna kill myself when i turned 18 so i didnt have to deal with all this and i was OKAY WITH IT and i just went through life knowing that and hiding it and so rarely questioning my inevitable suicide as a childc so instead of dealing with all that n my problems n getting better i let myself get worse cuz uh, fuck it right

idk its all just occured to me how im not a fully functioning human being, in seberal if not all aspects of my life, its weird. now that I actively want to live and realize i uh Kinda have to simce ill b the legal guardian of my brother its all very scary

sorr i was all over the place and all the typos i didnt mean anyof them n im not crytyping like, i cried a bit but i jst hate typing kn thsi shitty tablet keyboard, n dont wanna spellcheck. if u read through comgratulations also please dont message me abt like the self harm junk n my dog n stuff like, whatever ur abt to say. I Know my guy 

time to go uhhhhhhhhhhh daydream about impossible gay shit with guilt in the back of my mind

[hersmilingeyes]

I'm upset but

When I recap my day, there’s nothing to be upset about bc it was a fucking nice day

Except here I am

I woke up at my friend’s house at like 7am and drove my other friend home

We both left w our La Croixs, which doesn’t look right plural but there was more than one La Croix and they were peach pear

Ok, I gotta say it, peach pear is fucking 2/3 of a Joanna Newsom song so just add plum already bc that’s obvi what’s missing and then you can play the song fer that really specific commercial fer the really specific drink yer marketing and maybe that will satisfy me

But there’s more

I go home and sleep some more

Bc I can

Even better

Then I make myself a fabulous breakfast and COFFEE IN A FRENCH PRESS.

I sweeten it w HONEY

I take a quick shower and have just enough time to throw on a tee shirt and underpants

Then, my lover comes over fer coffee in bed and she looks so good since she was at the farm

She’s brighter and bronzer and just determined as ever

She’s wearing a muscle shirt and a tiny vest and I’m like melting bc she’s such a Fucking babe

She tells me about her world, she shares it w me, and I’m just in awe about all the things she can do // is doing

After about an hr of talking, she asks me if we are gonna cuddle or what and I fucking stumble w my words bc yes and of course and holy shit

I learn she is no longer stripping rn and I honestly wrote about it later on bc I had to process my happiness w her

I needed to write about how she listens to ramps and finds comfort in moss under her feet,

how she belongs no where to no one but she is connected to everything

She’s rooted and reaching

She is the water she seeks to grow

And we kiss and we make a date to go to Planned Parenthood together bc we’re responsible and I massage weird parts of her body that might be sore from being on the farm

But she says she’s still sore from stripping actually and the farm was real chill this time around

I try to keep up with her worlds but I decide to focus on the moment, on her teres muscles which I’ve been finding are really tight on most folx which is why I decided to work on hers

I really want to totally touch her boobs but decide now is not the time bc I have to work soon and that’s not cool fer either of us

I just lay on her chest and listen to her

It’s not that I didn’t have anything to say, I just wanted to listen

I missed her, she was sad when I last saw her, and so I was sad, too, in that way that one cannot help but feel the sadness of someone dear to them.

I carried it, too.

I feel hopeful fer what’s to come, fer her and me, and I drop her off before I go to work

I write about her at work, then i write an outline fer the blog I’m working on fer work

The New Moon just happened, so I frame it from that.

I also draw inspiration from how i left work at a toxic job, and now my lover has, too.

We’ve reclaimed ourself in our own ways.

I almost finish the Time magazine from the future (now a few days old)

I learn about Margaret Atwood and A Handmaids Tale, and I decide I need to read it before I see the show.

I do half a cross word; I’ve been mighty productive this shift but I’m eager to get off.

I have a vm from a work manager, so I call back bc I love my job and I feel v protective over it

I can’t help but get paranoid whenever work people call, I always think I’m in trouble

There are rarely bad things and mainly good things, and t'day was no different

My manager thinks I’m a strong worker and she’s taken to me

I call her my Morpheus bc she kinda is.

We get all of our biz outta the way in the first 10min but I’ve managed to meet somebody who talks as much as I do, if not more.

I try not to get annoyed w myself

But I can’t help but get annoyed just bc it’s my wind down time and I wanna wind down w my friends

Except she’s praising me really highly and telling me stories and I know that this isn’t all fer me, it’s fer her, too.

So I listen on.

And I’m sitting outside of my friend’s house and then I’m walking and I’m trying to politely wrap up but I don’t know how bc she’s clearly trying to convey something to me and I’m like that child that’s too antsy to sit and listen

She’s telling me real shit about myself and I’m in it, you know?

She tells me all this shit I need to hear bc I certainly don’t tell myself often enough

Like how I minimize the work I do and the impact it has on people

Or how I tend to downplay my talents

Or even just rule myself out of nice things

And I can’t tell if I’m doing it that very moment by staying on the phone or not so I’m annoyed by the juxtaposition of it all bc yes, I do these things but it’s not like I mean to or I’m not trying to quit

All the sudden, I’m feeling all the efforts I put in as far as building myself and someone I look up to is telling me I’m shining, I’m Fucking shining

And it’s too much, it’s overwhelming

My eyes start welling up on my friend’s porch after sitting outside fer an hr bc my manager is randomly telling me I’m doing a good job yet all i wanna do is be w my friend’s and not think about any work

I just came out of work where I did two jobs worth and processed my life on top of it plus half a crossword

All I wanted to do was wind down w my friends

That’s all I wanted

But I always get so much more and sometimes I don’t even know what to do w it all bc I don’t always know how to contain them, let alone coexist w them

And I missed everything

I missed everything bc a voice on a phone was telling me what I needed to hear to feel like all the work I’m doing is worth it

But it is, bc I know

I don’t always know why my clients come back but they do and I honor them each time I see them

I don’t always know what I do good but it works out

And Morpheus was trying to tell me what it is that makes me special and I just wanted wine and to kiss my lover and to hug my friends

And I was frustrated bc I know I’m special but I don’t always know why or how, I didn’t know why we were talking about me so much

She was trying to convey something and I am v clearly struggling w it or not ready

I’m not meaning to sell myself short or anything I just can’t wrap my head around why I wasn’t able to do the thing I planned on doing tonight

Why tnight, yknow, to tell me all this about me?

Why was it so important to tell me all this?

I’m upset bc there is no reason to be upset besides being derailed and sitting outside fer an hour.

I’m upset bc my success is like a fucking secret life I don’t know how to share v well.

My family doesn’t hear this, and they're the ones who need to; it’s just not the same from me

I don’t get a lot of grown ups praising me like Morpheus was and it’s no wonder I both want to listen and to shake them off

It’s not v often I get a grownup who understands the work I do, we do, and praises me fer it

I am so used to working anonymously and letting my work speak of my earnest efforts

I’m upset bc I work so hard and barely know how to feel proud of myself fer it without first taking myself down a notch about the things I could do // could do better.

Which is everything, but that’s everybody and that’s also v subjective

I am upset bc I wanted to New Moon w my friends but I was on a work related phone call fer an hr instead and I already work a lot

My time is precious and my friends are precious and whether or not it mattered to them, it mattered to me.

And I was upset bc no amount of working proves anything but yer too Fucking busy to spend time doing other things that matter to you

Like spending time w yer loved ones

I’m upset bc my dad worked all the time and I told myself I’d be more present bc that’s just as important if not more

I’m upset bc I don’t feel like I’m fulfilling that promise even though I had a great day overall but it didn’t end like I planned and I was just tired of waiting

Bc sometimes I feel like I’m always waiting fer my turn to do what I want and then my turn never comes

And it doesn’t feel fair bc what I want feels so simple

But it never really is

I just wanted to share time w my friends bc it was wind down time and I was done working.

And I’m really upset about it bc it’s like I’m never done working sometimes

Then I get so crabby I need to be alone bc that’s not how I want to spend time w folx I love

Even when they are sweet n call me to check in n shit like

I need to take a fucking trip