#i wanna do another part to this because i have several other points to make

[balkanradfem]

I wanna tell you a story, and I'm not sure if I should publish this; it's embarrassing, it's deeply unflattering, it's naive and horrifying, there's not one bit of it that is positive, but I thought about it today and thought, 'that was messed up', so you know. Temptation to expose my life publicly is stronger than the shame you will inflict on me.

So this happened way back when I was in college, and I cannot overstate how isolated and friendless I was; I lived in a dorm, I had no friends, my roommate was away with her friend group, I was depressed, I had very little social interaction. I didn't even know I was a lesbian. I had taken up running though!

In the city there was a big long riverbank where people would often run, and I liked running there, it was big and grassy and other people would run too, so I felt like I was a part of something. I had a good time! Until, one day, a m*n caught up with me, and started running alongside me.

Now I know you all are smart, and you are thinking, red flag, red flag, but I was not smart. I was 20 and had zero feminist influence in my life, all I was taught was to be extremely polite or it was my fault if I get murdered, so when he started talking to me, I was as nice and polite as possible. He asked how old I was, and was surprised to hear '20', he thought I looked younger. He asked if he could run with me, I said okay, because you know, I was desperately lonely, I thought it was not awful if I was running with another person. He chatted with me, and then asked me for my phone number, which again, I very dumbly gave to him. He, to my absolute horror, memorized it instantly, and recited it back to me several times. He called me a few minutes later to check if it was real. My phone rang. It was real.

He asked if we could run together again, and I again, thought the only polite thing to say was 'yes', so I accepted, and so he called me up to run together few days later. I appeared, feeling much more self-conscious than usual, and this is where things started to go from bad to worse. He insisted we 'stretch first', and instructed me on how to do it, and while this was happening, he found it appropriate to touch me, hug me, put his hands on my arms and shoulder. I would flinch and pull away every time, which he would ignore. I felt uncomfortable and decided to stretch far away from him, but he would just follow me and get closer.

After running for half an hour, I was too tired, so we walked, and he started talking to me about his work and his previous relationship. His work was in finances, and it was so boring to listen to, I could not keep track. I dozed off thinking how, despite not having any human interaction in a long time, this was the most bored I ever was. Then he started talking about a woman he used to be with, calling her a gold-digger, and a w-slur. I hated that. I could tell he was trying to 'compare us' and subtly tell me that he thinks I'm different, because I'm a humble little innocent girl who would never want his money, but all I could think of was 'he was supposedly in love with her, but now he can call her names like that? It's only a matter of time before he decides I'm worthless too.' I was naive, but I wasn't taking women-hatred lightly.

I could see him staring at me when I ran and walked, his eyes lingered on places that made me feel uncomfortable. I had originally thought he wanted to be friends, because he was so much older than me it was ridiculous to even imagine he'd want something romantic with me, but seeing how he touched me, and how he was staring me down, I figured there was something weird going on.

We are again at a point where you'd be free to judge me, and okay, but listen; the times were different, it was 2010, the discourse was not what it is now. And I was scared. Okay. So. I knew I felt threatened by the idea that this m*n would maybe try something sexual with me, and I wanted to make sure to cut that idea short. So when he was saying suggestive stuff, I said 'hey you should know I'm asexual.' (I didn't exactly believe this, I just felt it was the only safe way to let him know I'm not interested. The gentlest rejection!) And he said 'no you're not'. To which I was a little shocked. And he went with a conspiratory tone 'you don't know how those people are, they hate sex'. And I'm like 'Yes, I do too!' and he just decided to not accept this. He decided I didn't know what I was saying, and didn't know myself enough to decide such a thing.

Next time we went running, he actually groped me.

When I got home, I realized I was terrified of him. I didn't want to come close to him again. But the female socialization of being polite, giving people whatever pleases them, never disappointing anyone or failing to be of use to them, was suffocating me. I couldn't pinpoint just what this m*n has done to wrong me, all I knew is that I felt unsafe, and I would be trembling in anxiety thinking about seeing him ever again. I wished I had anyone to tell about this. I was so alone that nobody ever knew this was happening to me.

I was wrecking my brain for several days, lost about what to do about this, before finally figuring it out. I found a way around the pressure to be accommodating. I could tell this person was looking at me sexually, and obviously I didn't want to do anything like that, so if I kept meeting him, it was the equivalent of 'leading him on', which they hated, and it was more polite to be upfront! And if I could pinpoint something actually wrong he has done (my poor brain could not yet conceptualize that my body was in fact, violated) then it was okay for me to cut ties.

Okay so this is where the stupidity continues; I didn't think it was polite to end something over a text message. I went to do it in person. I know. I know you're yelling right now. I'm sorry! I didn't know any better!

So he called me, and I appeared in my non-running shoes, which he immediately criticized. I explained then, that I came to say goodbye. I said he was looking at me weird (which he denied) and that I felt uncomfortable (which he felt I had no right to). He tried to convince me that it's good to keep exercising, and I mentioned I actually did other forms of exercise, for instance I had a big bag I liked to punch, and I was really good at it. (This was my way of saying, hey I know I look small but I can fight, I can punch. I did actually exercise with a punching bag too). He absolutely hated that. He told me I should not be doing that, that women should not be punching bags, it was a horrible idea. And that's where I clocked him. I understood, from that reaction, that he hated the idea of me being physically strong, and being able to fight back if he attacks me. Once I had that clear in my head, it was easier to cut ties. I told him I didn't want to run with him anymore, and to please not call me again. He was extremely displeased and aggravated, but, we were in public, there wasn't much he could do. I made sure he wasn't following me home. I came back shivering, in disbelief that I managed to get myself out of that.

So yeah, nothing else happened! It was just an extremely uncomfortable and scary experience I had, a week and a half that I spent terrified of a male that I gave my own number to, not understanding he was 'not just wanting to be friends'. Not understanding that 'you're 20? You look younger' from a 30-40yo male was already a red flag, that he approached me because he thought I was a child. Looking back it is a miracle that I managed to get out of that on my own, without ever consulting another person. I am sobbing at the fact that I thought 'oh sure this creepy old male wants to befriend me' and 'I should go and reject him in person' my goodness.

But this is how we're taught to act, isn't it? If we, as young women, try to look at m*n as predators, we get told off and that we're oppressing them and causing injustice to them and hurting their feelings! So I couldn't have had any bad thoughts about him or I was a sexist, unjust, awful and oppressive b-slur. I couldn't have told him no or I was unfair for not giving him a chance! Maybe I should have let him do whatever and try to just enjoy it – that's how I've been taught to give up my own safety and boundaries, for all my life.

So don't judge me too harshly okay? I did get away from him, and from multiple consecutive creeps. And I never, ever gave a male my number again. If socialization taught me nothing, this experience did. Can you imagine if I consulted someone though, and they told me I was being too harsh on him, since he did nothing wrong, and that I should have tried to make him happy instead? Because it's very likely that would have happened. I think in a way, my loneliness and lack of outside influence protected me too.

[pygmi-says-hi]

how to write romantic tension

we all love enemies to lovers but some of you get to the lovers part so fast you don't even finish typing 'enemies'. enemthey'refuckingnow to lovers. which is ok if that's what you wanna read but personally, my favorite part is the tension.

So...

Off we go!

What makes a good enemies to lovers story?

Believable tension, likeably irritating themes, and potential. Among other things, but this is what I want to talk about with the 'tension' perspective. There needs to be a good reason, obstacle, and rapport. If they're mad at each other just because, idgaf.

I want to write this but I dunno how to frame the tension?

It's kind of a tricky trope, to be honest. Enemies/rivals/foes however you wanna pitch it, takes an interesting twist on seductive emotions.

pride. a feeling of self-sufficiency, power over somebody else, or superiority. How would this play into a relationship type deal? Well:

Pride in a relationship or in regards to another person can involve a feeling of equivalence. "Do I feel unworthy of them?" "Are they out of my league?" "will the way people perceive me change if I go for it?" Social insecurity is a big aspect, and so the frustration that comes with that leads to friction because of the character's insistence on keeping their dignity. which leads me to the next point...

vulnerability. Attraction to another person is accompanied by a feeling of vulnerability and openness. This is always a hard position to be in, especially if extenuating circumstances make honesty impossible (power imbalance, politics, etc). If a character feels too vulnerable and exposed, they might shield themself with aloofness and sharp words.

desperation/yearning. They have to want each other. the only thing stopping themselves is each other. It's overcoming the above emotions to reach the point where they have no choice but to accept it. Throughout the whole deal, there should be an undercurrent of desire.

When all of those come together, it creates an emotional battle. This battle has several war tactics (hittin with the allegories today dayum)

banter. a favorite of all. wonderfully tense and combative conversation that highlights the reason for disagreement and the romantic tension. 10/10

self-sabotage. like, ohthey'resoclosetheirhandsaretouchingoooohnope. someone chickened out, heard something from someone that made them reconsider, plans changed, they felt angry and ruined the whole deal. back to square one. it's like edging your readers. (ew but you know what i mean. bring em up to bring em down)

miscommunication. "I thought you hated me." "only because I thought you did too..." love it. beautiful. or, there was miscommunication years ago that led to a deep rift when actually, it was entirely unfounded.

and many more...

Another important point:

There needs to be progress. Slow and steady wins the race, but even slow means going forward. If you throw too much tension and obstacles in the way, it gets old really fast. Give them baby steps to take. It'll keep people interested.

Internal turmoil:

Oh, that wonderful period when they know it's inevitable but they're so terrified of it happening....pick an emotional direction.

Are they scared? Hiding from their attraction? Are they angry? Frustrated that they can't have them/became attracted? Are they desperate? So in love that they act out of pure lust?

What is the character's opinion of what is going on? Pick reactions and convo that corresponds with that. Enemies to lovers doesn't always mean sass-battles and hate sex. It can also be someone cold and cut off slowly warming up. Or somebody shy and critical becoming relaxed and open-minded. there are sooooo many opportunities for good emotional depth, spice it up a little!

Things to improve on:

Working on banter/bickering. This is really funny, but the banter should have some kind of meat to it. random back-and-forths are a nice palate cleanser, but so often it just sounds petty. Incorporate plot and past disagreements with it. it'll add depth to the relationship without needing to do a prologue or exposition paragraph.

Not just making them hate fuck and then be head over heels. (I mean if you wanna write/read that, go ahead, but if you're frustrated with the transition stage, I gotchu.) It is a weird moment of going from 'fuck you' to 'fuck me' to 'ilysm'. AWKWARD STAGES ARE OKAY!!!!! It's gonna be a bit of a new thing, esp for the characters. Great opportunity for wholesomeness; if they're trying really hard to get better but don't know how?? UGHH I EATTT IT.

hopefully this provides some pointers?

xox keep writing, comment/message any questions or requests!

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

i for once want to get the opinion of a "rational" jikooker who knows how to take a step back and take certain things for what they are and i wanna know your opinion or interpretation of jikook in chap2 and them not meeting and also that conversation they had in the car about that please.

And you thought I'm that rational person? Funny.

You know, there's something I always disliked about being in this fandom space. I mean, there's plenty of other things, don't get me wrong, but this one in particular really irks me. It's the need for approval, for confirmation of one's thoughts. There's a severe lack of independent thought. It might be hidden under apparent strong opinions, but when you look at how those opinions are spread to anon messaging to bloggers everyday, that's a sign that the complete opposite happens.

Jikook as a kpop ship always has to be questioned. At this point, I think it's part of its narrative as a ship. But what's curious (and stupid) is that the hardest line of questioning comes from the ones who consider themselves interested/curious. But make no mistake, this is not done for the sake of not becoming delusional and discard any rational thought. It happens because of the need for approval.

You sent me this ask because you hope for me to agree with your own thoughts about jikook and what that conversation in the car means. Not for them actually, but for you. And you're not the only person. A sure sign of fandom insanity is debating for over 2 weeks now a conversation that is not only heavily editated, it is mediated as well. It takes place in the context of a show for fans in which participants are two people who will never reveal everything about their lives. And on top of that, there's an intentional need to ignore that people can speak in hyperbole, that people can ommit or say one thing that actually means more or another that only the other person is capable of understanding the nuances of that.

Communication is complex. We do know that because we engage with it everyday. Except we forget all that the moment we have to talk about this specific ship. We forget a lot of things about human behavior, relationships, etc. It is an intentional act. So we start writing fanfictions. We start making relationship timelines. We start taking about temporary or definitive break ups of a ship that hasn't even been confirmed as a couple. At this point, shippers operate into this alternative universe sphere, canon adjacent but instead of doing it on ao3, they use their blogs and anon messages for that. But hey, fanfics on ao3 are a lot of the times the work of talented writers, while 500-1000 words essays on tumblr are simply a complete waste of time after the first paragraph.

Is this what you would consider a rational perspective? Or should I start writing down a timeline of all the times in which JM and JK have met in "Chapter 2" up until NY in July? (As if in reality their lives are actually separated that clearly, as if a break in band work completely defines their personal lives, jesus christ!). So, should I note down all the public events that they've been to? And to draw a conclusion from it to prove or disprove that the amount of times they've seen each other is reflective or not of what they said in the car when they left for their trip? Of course, we should ignore that there's an entire life outside of what we see.

And that's the thing, you know? We all supposedly agree that they actually share little of their lives with their fans, but practically? The fandom doesn't really give a shit. Because of the classic parasocial relationship we have developed that makes us believe we know everything there is to know.

What we are allowed to see and what we hear from whispers here and there should allow us to realize that no theory over a supposed relationship is better than the other. Believing they are just friends, that they have broken up, that they are fwb and so on is in no way more rational that believing they are together.

What does this mean? If none of us are wiser? It means we have a choice. Some are choosing to be losers or little bitches crying in anon asks about their "insecurities" over a ship. Some are choosing to look at this ship as a duo that includes two people who have really good chemistry and who match each other's freak.

I've always been in the latter category, I thought that was obvious and I've said it before. If one day Jimin makes a public statement that he's marrying the love of his life, a sweet girl that is also the mother of his 5 secret children, then so be it. And if one day, Jungkook shows up one day after he decided to run away and join a bike gang where he met his boyfriend, then so be it. If somehow that next day, a jikook clip would turn up on my tl in which Jimin is brushing his teeth while straddling Jungkook, my reaction would be "well, jikook fuck. Often". You know why? Because for me, the public life of stars and what they choose to share is entertainment. A travel show, a wlive, concerts, these are all forms of entertainment. I do not consume my entertainment by being a loser on the internet, pondering if my assessment over two people might be fucking is real or not or is approved by other people.

[reallife6anoufriev6boy6]

put the toxic dylric headcanons in the BAG!! hand em over

toxic dylric headcanons!

as i said in my video several people asked me for this so…heh…thanks guys…these also might not be great because im so tired right now i might make better ones later

tw for self harm and eating disorders

why so much ed content?? im projecting

theyre both equally as toxic to each other i think, but a lot of these are gonna be on erics part because i need some classic abusive eric content im sorry (and also i cant think of much for dylan right now)

dylan and his eating disorders. my, my. where do we start. eric finds out about dylans issues once he starts to drastically lose weight and he tells him that he shouldnt be doing that, but at the same time he finds out he has a weird thing for it and is basically like “omg dont do that vee thats bad…well…maybe a little more for me wouldnt hurt…” (shoutout to my friend for helping me make this one)

eric definitely snaps at dylan a lot and will yell at him over small things. dylan doesn’t appreciate it so then he will leave and ignore eric until eric is being desperate and apologizing way too much.

adding onto that i think whenever dylans hanging out with his friends eric would call him and be a total bitch about why he wasnt invited/why dylan is with them instead of him.

sex between them is definitely a little rough. neither of them can listen to each others needs and wants very well, especially eric. a lot of the things they do are under negotiated and sort of happen and come out of nowhere.

dylan can definitely get really annoyed and moody and just like completely ignore eric no matter how much he tries to fix it. at that point he would also be ignoring him in school and not answering him whenever eric needs to talk to him about the plans.

eric doesnt like the scars that dylan has. he thinks they look bad on him - he thinks its a waste of time for him to do something so destructive only for it to heal over and barely leave a mark. anytime he comments on it dylan just tells him off.

they both have issues with accepting their homosexuality and it shows. they call each other faggots all the time and will blame those types of things on one another - blaming each other for being the reason they get it on basically.

also eric has definitely pretended dylan was a girl during sex more then once which made him uncomfortable, but obviously he doesnt stop because he doesnt wanna be fucking a dude.

theyre both the type to get into massive fights and arguments that leave them bloody and bruised only for them to resolve it with angry make up sex and then be like “we are never gonna fight again fuck that smh” but it happens again shortly after.

neither of them have any ideas on how to properly set boundaries. eric would be real touchy and forceful with dylan because he didnt set boundaries for that while dylan would be too emotionally heavy and put his problems onto eric because he didnt set anything for that.

eric will trace over and touch all the bones that stick out on dylan because of how skinny he is while dylan will make a show of the weird dip thing eric has on his chest. basically them getting back at each other.

[britney-rosberg06]

Liam Lawson on F1 accessibility and Ollie Bearman:

“I would say maybe, it’s becoming more clear-it’s hard because obviously I don’t wanna just speak for myself but just using Ollie [Bearman] as an example-how potentially accessible formula 1 is for the younger sort of generation and us trying to step into it. I think in my experience it’s not so much driving the car but everything else that comes with Formula 1-the pressure, the media side of it the atmosphere-it’s very very different to what anything else we’ve raced. But the driver part of it sort of how accessible it is. I think from the simulator work and preparation that we do that someone like Ollie is able to jump into the car and be on the pace and do such a good job”

THIS is it!! This is what we’re saying! Liam and Ollie both performed superbly when given the opportunity to do so. It’s clear that the F1 car is manageable for someone making a quick jump from F2 or older F1 cars. When-in my experience-the reason teams have been hesitant maybe to bring in younger talent like Liam and Ollie is cause of the difference in the car. Liam and Ollie have both said that’s not true and they both did quite well through several tough races in Liam’s case like Singapore and Qatar.

It’s for reasons like what Liam says that we need to either push out some of the guys who aren’t performing at their level (*cough* Ricciardo *cough*) or open up the sport to more teams! If Andretti had gotten their bid accepted, Liam Lawson might not have to wait around for DR to get his head out of Chr*stian Horners ass and retire and he could have a seat for 2025. Cause until that happens, and until other teams make moves to push out their older competitors. Liam (and Ollie, sort of) can’t join F1.

And another problem this raises, is that either of them could have a seat next year. If teams weren’t so scared of missing out on the next Max Verstappen.

Toto Wolff practically has the seat reserved for Kimi Antonelli and he will do whatever it takes to either get it to him in 2025, or blow off that year to wait for Kimi in 2026. Meaning that Liam and Ollie would be left on their asses if either if them signed to Merc. And this isn’t hate to Kimi! This is simply a criticism of the teams only taking younger talent when they’re considered prodigious.

If they signed to a lower grid team like Haas-who we know are in tentative talks with Ollie-or Sauber or Alpine then they will underperform to their potential because the car they drive is shitty but they’ll be the ones blamed for it due to “lack of experience” and teams can continue to make the claim that the F2 to F1 jump is too big and the cycle repeats perpetually until it’s just not worth it and we the fans lose out on potential great talent. Even though drivers who have been in the sport for years can underperform in the same car and it’s fine!

It doesn’t make sense, truly, for them to not trust younger talent when Zak Brown and Mclaren have signed the youngest pairing on the grid, who after updates last year to the car, were pretty consistent with placing in the points and earned them several podiums.

Also, look at how much good the 2019 rookies ended up being for the sport. 3 childhood friends entered into F1, there were highs, lows, etc they each got their shot to prove themselves and now. One is working to rebuild a historic team, one is outperforming a 7 time champion (again no hate just observation) and one is considered to be apart of the team that can take the fight to RedBull and Ferrari

It just doesn’t make sense when young drivers get passed up even when they prove themselves in favor of relying on middling drivers who’s time in the sun have kind of passed on.

Anyway, I hope Liam and Ollie get a seat next year. I hope Kimi Antonelli does what’s best for him as a kid rather than what is best for his career. I hope Daniel Ricciardo gets kicked out mid season. And I hope the next time a team comes in trying to join F1, they can actually do it

[thetempleofthemasaigoddess]

Being part of a rival crew and becoming Sanji's lover would involve...

Sanji x reader. NSFW!!!

This fic is dedicated to @vespidphoenix.

*****

🩵 At first it’s only flirting. 

🩵 You aren’t expecting anything special today, only yet another boarding on a rival pirate ship that has had the misfortune of being on the same route as yours and that your captain, Loras, has decided to invade and lighten of their treasures and whatever other commodity they carry. The other crew as expected retaliates, and a battle ensues… a battle that sees you confront one of them, a blond young man who immediately catches your interest because of his fighting prowess, and then some. 

🩵 You’re evenly matched, which makes the fight more fun; and your opponent is an extremely handsome young man, which leads you to flirt unashamedly with him as you exchange blows. Rather than being distracted or embarrassed as it usually happens, your opponent seems delighted by your interest, and starts flirting right back with equal intensity. “I’m not used to fighting women, especially one so amazingly beautiful like you.” “This does you credit, but is complimenting me all you’re going to do, or you wanna fight?” “If I have to; you’re quite strong, I have to admit.” “Likewise. I must say, you’re the most attractive opponent I’ve had the pleasure of fighting in a while…” 

🩵 The fights end in a draw, both yours and Sanji’s and that between the Straw Hats and your crew, forced to abandon the boarding. You retreat, Loras grumbling and severely scolding the crew for their failure, but you feel satisfied and even energised, strangely not disappointed you were not able to best your opponent. In the next days, as you take care of your duties or contemplate the waves lapping at the side of the ship, you find yourself thinking back to Sanji, to his bright smile and lovely eyes, to the strength and gracefulness with which he fought, and smile to yourself, thinking that who knows, the sea is vast and full of pirate crews, but maybe one day you will see each other again…

🩵 One day ends up meaning eight days later, because the two crews run into each other a second time, this time at the harbour of a tiny island, and while the two captains argue you and the blond pirate immediately lock eyes. You grin. He winks. A new fight ensues a minute later, the two of you immediately heading towards each other for a rematch. “I must admit I’ve been thinking about you.” “Have you? I’m flattered; may I know the name of such a lovely young lady?” “I’m (name). What about you?” “I’m Sanji. You look lovelier than ever, I must say; I hadn’t noticed what beautiful eyes you have…”

🩵 Long story short, you end up fighting again, neither able to surpass the other, as you flirt and exchange compliments; once more, your crew is forced to scarper after Loras has been thoroughly drubbed by Sanji’s captain Luffy. “To our next meeting, my dear.” you say as you prepare to depart, blowing Sanji a kiss; he grins, clearly flattered. “I miss you already.”

🩵 That last comment is meant to be a joke; after all, meeting the same crew twice in the great vastness of the sea can be a coincidence, but thrice it would be nothing short of a miracle, which surprisingly saddens you a little: meeting and fighting Sanji was… fun, in a way, and you wouldn’t have minded repeating the experience.

🩵 You do, no more than a week later, when the two crews meet for the third time. Loras, still resentful for the sound defeats received recently, accuses Luffy of following you; the straw hatted-pirate swears they are not, he is not believed, and soon you are fighting again. Once again, you and Sanji find each other and fight furiously. “Did you miss me, beautiful (name)?” “I didn’t, actually; and I recently met another pirate who is more attractive than you.” “Oh, you’re breaking my heart…” At one point during the battle, you find yourself pushed against a wall, with Sanji’s body caging yours; your heart leaps in your heart as you both suddenly realise you’re closer than you’ve ever been, close enough you can feel his breath on your face, and he can feel the frenzied beating of your heart against his chest. For a moment you both hold your breath, suddenly shy and unable to speak… and then realise that Sanji’s hand is resting on your breast. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, I hadn’t realised… I swear I’m not that sort of man…” he stammers, blushing furiously, and you wink; had you had the impression he was that sort of man you would kick his ass to the other end of the Grand Line, but since you do realise it’s been an accident, you simply wink at him. “At least buy me a drink first.” you tell him batting your eyelashes, and you see Sanji grin.

🩵 This time it’s your crew that comes out the winners, but as you depart to follow the others, you find yourself grinning, just like Sanji is doing behind you. To that third encounter a fourth follows, and then a fifth, and so many more; suddenly, despite the mounting improbability, it’s like the two crews can’t help running into each other. At first convinced Luffy is persecuting him, Loras soon decides to turn the situation around, chasing the straw hatted-pirate across the sea to decide once and for all who is the strongest between the two of them; he’s so focused on his new rival he seems to have forgotten his first and most important goal, to find a legendary treasure that his grandfather told him about years ago, and that has been the reason both him and you, his childhood best friend, have taken to the sea. Nevertheless, the large majority of the encounters between the two crews are accidental, rather than one of the two looking for the other; you’ve never believed in destiny, but it does seem like an invisible force, the Gods or Fate or whatever name one wants to give it, is pushing them together, to meet over and over again. And the same, consequently, happens to you and Sanji.

🩵 You’re not the only one among your crewmates to have developed a rivalry with one of the Straw Hats; Loras is soon convinced Luffy is his fated enemy, so to speak, the only man that stands between him and glory and that one day the two of them will fight to the death, and the two swordsmen of the crew have started training harder than ever in anticipation of the next time they can cross blades with Zoro. No one suspects your rivalry with Sanji is more than that, a series of fights during which neither is able to best the other, but it is. He’s strong, quick and agile, and fighting him does make you strive to become stronger and give your all in order to win - or at least not to lose, but on the other hand, you can’t deny your heart leaps in your throat every time you glimpse his crew’s jolly roger on the horizon, or notice his blond head, and his smile, among his crew. You are sincerely happy to meet him, as if you were old friends, and become frustrated, even melancholic, when more than a few days pass after your last encounter. Also, you can’t deny Sanji is one of the most attractive men you have ever met; he has a fine physique, expressive eyes, and a very nice smile. No matter how fun and stimulating it is to have him as an opponent, you can’t help wishing you’d have the time and the opportunity to just talk, and learn something about each other… and then perhaps discover if all that flirting between the two of you only serves to joke and pass time or not.

🩵 The first time you meet alone, perhaps unsurprisingly since you have by now learnt he is his crew’s cook, is at the marketplace, on an island your crew has reached that morning. You are wandering around, looking around in search of something interesting enough to buy, when suddenly you notice the back of a by now familiar blond head -not to mention the firm backside a few feet beneath it- in front of a fruit stand. You smile to yourself, take a moment to fix your clothes and hair, and approach. “If I remember correctly you owe me a drink.” you say as you saunter to him; Sanji, busy analysing two different qualities of peaches, turns, sees you, and the largest, happiest smile you’ve ever seen opens on his face. “Well if it isn’t my favourite opponent. Are you here to challenge me?” “Not particularly, I’m just enjoying a free afternoon. What about you?” You end up keeping him company as he buys provisions for his crew, both unbothered by the risk of being seen by your crewmates; later he does insist on buying you a drink, and you blush, unable to remember the last time someone did the same for you. You spend more than an hour talking, of yourselves and of your dreams and your crews, and it’s genuinely the most interesting conversation you have had in your life; no one has ever looked so interested in what you have to say like Sanji is, no one has been so able to make you laugh like he does, and even though this is your first real conversation, you both feel perfectly at ease, as if you had known each other your whole lives, enough you’d happily spend the rest of the day like that.

🩵 You can feel a jolt of electricity running through your body every time your knees touch his under the table; as you finally leave the bar, you only need to share a glance before Sanji takes your hand to pull you into the closest alley, and a moment later you’re kissing furiously, his back pressed against the wall as he holds you by the waist and your hands play with his hair. Neither speaks for several minutes; you feel on cloud nine, Sanji’s heart beating against your chest as you explore each other’s body, and the longer your embrace lasts, the less satisfied you are with just kissing him, no matter how sweet his lips are. “I saw an inn across the street.” you murmur in his ear “I know we don’t have long, but…” You don’t even have to finish the sentence; Sanji’s handsome face lights up. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to…” “Of course I’m sure! Come on, any minute we waste here is one we could spend doing other things.”

🩵 He laughs -a celestial sound- and a moment later he has taken your hand once more to lead you out of the alley and towards the inn; neither pays any notice to the way the inn-keeper looks at you when you inform them that no, you’re not going to need the room for the night, only a couple hours. You start kissing while you’re still in the corridor, and when the door closes behind your backs you part to share a look, not tense but well aware of what you are about to do. “I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you.” Sanji murmurs, his hands delicately holding yours “I… I’ve never felt like this before; I think about you all the time. The last thing I want is to betray my crew…” “And I’m not asking you to do it, nor will I betray mine.” you reassure him, happy and relieved to discover he feels the same “I just want us to be together, even just for an hour; I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine, only for today.”

🩵 The first time two people have sex is often awkward, especially if they don’t know each other well platonically either; you and Sanji are the exception to the rule. Despite the little time at your disposal, you don’t hurry in getting rid of your clothes, but worship each other as your hands and your mouths explore the skin you gradually expose; you help Sanji remove his shirt, taking advantage of the proximity to gently bite his shoulder, and he moans - a wanton, completely lurid sound that excites you both. A moment later, he returns the courtesy, kneeling in front of you as he opens your belt and lets your jeans slide down your legs. “I like having you in this position.” you murmur, and Sanji winks at you before kissing your navel. “I aim to please, especially in moments like this.”

🩵 A minute later you’re finally bare, as you lie together on the bed and your kisses multiply. “You are so beautiful.” Sanji murmurs as he hovers above you, his free hand caressing your cheek, and you find yourself smiling, that probably predictable compliment filling your heart with joy. You doubt this moment will repeat itself in the future, but rather than saddening you, the knowledge pushes you to enjoy it to the fullest, to create good memories you will carry in your mind and in your heart forever, months and even years after you and Sanji have parted ways; you know already it will be unforgettable.

🩵 It is.

🩵 Your lovemaking is intense, vigorous and at the same time gentle, both of you taking care of the other’s pleasure as you chase your high together. Having made sure he actually likes it, you kneel between his legs and take Sanji’s -lovely, just a little too big for his build, the base surrounded by well-trimmed blond hair- cock in your mouth, and the symphony of his moans of pleasure fills the air as you suck him. “Oh, Gods… yes… oh, darling, you’re so good at this…” he murmurs, his hand in your hair, and you smile to yourself: he’s already losing his mind, and you’re quite proud of yourself for having brought him this far using only your mouth. You work him for a while, but when you look questioningly at him, Sanji smiles and shakes his head. “Not like this.” he says as he sits and gently cleans your mouth with his hand before pulling you under him “As lovely as it would be, there’s somewhere else I’d like to come, at least for our first time.”

🩵 Sanji uses his hand to make sure you’re ready for him, and a moment later you’re the one moaning - no, you’re almost screaming as Sanji moves above you, his slim hips pressing against yours, his hard flesh splitting you open. “Oh Gods… oh Gods, this is so good!” you cry out; you’re completely lost in the pleasure he’s gifting you, and you capture his lips in a new kiss as you feel a first, powerful orgasm approaching “Don’t stop, please Sanji, I want more…” Sanji wouldn’t be able to stop even if he wanted, but smiles at you, hungry and simply awed at the way your bodies, which until today had only met as adversaries, are now singing together; he can feel your nails clawing at his back, the pain mixed with the pleasure, and for a moment he hopes you’ll actually leave a mark, a memento of the moment you are living together. A moment, and a particularly vigorous push, later he feels you come, your body contracting around his pushes him beyond the edge, and Sanji is coming as well, falling in your embrace as he pants. 

🩵 You smile at each other, neither feeling the need to speak to say how lovely it was, sweet and intense at the same time, and that you’re not yet sated with each other. “If you’re half as good at cooking as you are at making love, your crew must eat better than any other across the sea.” you murmur after a while as you play with Sanji’s hair, and he laughs, flattered. “And I can’t believe Boa Hancock is still considered the most beautiful pirate in the world with you around.” he counterattacks, making you blush. Together in that tiny, squalid room that has probably seen its fair share of clandestine lovers, at least in your case well aware of what your captain would think if he knew what you are doing, you feel at peace, the warmth of Sanji’s body enveloping yours as he holds you in his arms, the steady beating of his heart under your cheek. As a rule, ephemeral things -cut flowers, fireworks displays, butterflies- evoke a sense of melancholy in your heart, due to the awareness that their beauty is destined to disappear soon, but now, for some reason, you feel the opposite; knowing that you’ll soon have to part makes this moment of intimacy, that you’re still convinced will never happen again, even more lovely and precious. Whatever happens from now on, you think in the privacy of your heart, you’ll never forget Sanji; and you’ll never regret having been his woman, even just for two hours. 

🩵 You are both quiet, and running late, as you leave the inn; Sanji holds your hand until the very last moment. “Are you going to tell your captain about this?” he asks quietly, and you decisively shake your hand: Loras is your oldest, dearest friend, you’d follow him to Hell and back and keeping a secret from him fills you with guilt, but you know he wouldn’t understand, and you’ve always preferred to keep your private matters… private. “This is not… I mean, it has nothing to do with our crews’ rivalry, hasn’t it?” “Of course not; this is just between you and me, we are not betraying our friends, but… I do think we should keep it to ourselves. Thank you, (name); that… that was really lovely, it had never…” Sanji bites his lip, suddenly shy “So, uhm, I’ll see you around?” “You bet it.” you answer, and kiss him one last time, and you are both smiling as you part to reach the harbour from opposite directions.

🩵 You are sure it will never happen again; how could it? You are pirates, you live on ships surrounded by your crews; last but not least, your captains and dear friends are now rivals, and while what you shared in the inn room may not exactly constitute a betrayal, neither feels comfortable with the idea of carrying out a relationship with the enemy. It was lovely -it was amazing, so much that days later you can still feel the warmth of his body on your skin, and the sweetness of his kisses on your lips- but even in the remote case you’d have the opportunity to do it again, it would be highly unwise to. In the next weeks, as you meet twice more for the umpteenth fight between your crew and the Straw Hats, you and Sanji fight as usual, without pulling your punches -or kicks, or weapon blows- more determined than ever to best each other, but when your gazes meet, both know the other is also thinking back to that moment, when any distance between you had disappeared and you had shared your pleasure in an intimacy that went well beyond the simple physical pleasure. It doesn’t make you uncomfortable, you don’t feel guilty; but the intensity of what you feel, an emotion you can’t give a name to, is so overwhelming you can barely meet Sanji’s eyes.

🩵 In the end, about one month after your first time, your crew reaches an island you had never been to before. Loras entrusts you with an important mission to carry out while the rest of the crew is away, and they’ll be back in a few days to pick you up. One day, as you return to the small house you have rented for your stay, safe from the prying eyes and ears of the other guests of an inn, you feel your heart leap when, in the crowd filling the nearby square, you recognise Sanji, as usual surrounded by his friends, the crew apparently enjoying a day off with shopping and street food. He’s so handsome, you think as you look at him peeking from behind a corner, tall and with that lovely smile and lean but strong physique; you could reach him in less than a minute, but even considering the fact that your crew won’t be back before a few days that would be the stupidest, most potentially catastrophic thing you could do…

🩵 Oh, fuck it. Hurrying inside the house, you quickly scribble a message for Sanji that you then entrust, with a few berry for the trouble, to the neighbours kid, instructing him to give it to the blond man you have pointed to him through the window, as soon as he’s alone and his friends won’t notice. You spend the next hours trembling with excitation, unsure of what it would be worse, to have your invitation accepted or not, and in the end, late in the evening, you feel a soft knocking at the door, and when you go -run- to open it, you find yourself face to face with a very serious Sanji. “This is a dangerous game.” he says, with the tone of someone who blames himself as much as his interlocutor, as he already closes the door behind him; his sweet, expressive brown eyes are burning with desire, and you find yourself struggling to swallow as you meet his gaze. “I know. I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you to come, this was stupid, but I couldn’t stop…” “No; I’m glad you did it.” A moment later he has taken you in his arms, and you’re leading him to the bedroom, your mouths already sealed in a kiss, and you don’t care if it’s late enough many people are already sleeping and the house’s walls are thin enough you can almost participate in a discussion between your neighbours, you spend the next three hours screaming Sanji’s name as he ravishes you, ravenous and passionate and generous like the lover of your dreams. Do whatever you want to me; just touch and kiss me, I want nothing else. This is what you ask him, and Sanji is more than happy to obey.

🩵 You share a cigarette after making love thrice, both sore but satisfied. “You’re insatiable.” Sanji murmurs as he kisses you, clearly not at all displeased by that, and you smile as you run your fingers up and down his firm chest. “You’re a cook.” you remind him “Doesn’t it make you happy when someone eats a five-course meal of your food and then asks for seconds?” In the end, for the first time in your life, you fall asleep in his arms, the fingers of an exhausted but happy Sanji playing with your hair. You wake up only a few hours later, as Sanji is picking up his clothes from the floor to get dressed; the sky out of the window is still half-dark. “I’m sorry; I have to return to make breakfast for the others, before they realise I am gone.” he explains; he told you already he has waited for his friends to fall asleep before leaving to come to you, and that unfortunately his crew will leave today. “Of course.” you murmur as you get up to kiss him good-bye, disappointed you don’t have more time to spend together. You remain like that for a minute, hand in hand, both aware that you could have, if not forgotten, at least stopped after doing it once, but now that it has happened twice, you have started on a very dangerous path; going back might be almost impossible. “I feel guilty.” you confess in a whisper, and Sanji kisses your forehead. “Don’t; because I don’t either, and we’re not doing anything wrong. Take care of yourself, alright?”

🩵 And so it begins. You would have never thought a relationship like this was possible, but for some unfathomable reason your two crews keep running into each other, and destiny seems to favour the two of you -a fact you order yourself not to find comfort in, because there is no love goddess that is pushing you and Sanji together, yours is not a love story destined to an happy ending after many vicissitudes- giving you the chance to meet semi-frequently and regularly. There are inns, and empty buildings, and back-alleys, and whatever nook or cranny you find that offers you a modicum of privacy for a night, an hour, or even just fifteen minutes. Even though you have both come to silently trust each other completely, you have tacitly decided to never invite each other on your ships, even in case you’d be completely alone; neither has stopped feeling guilty for your relationship with a rival, but you both feel more and more attached with every passing day, and staying away from each other soon becomes impossible. Despite the risks, despite the shame, soon the only moments you feel alive are the ones you spend in Sanji’s arms, pressed against a wall as his fingers work their magic between your thighs, or sitting on his lap as you both contemplate the sunset in a rare moment of quiet; you know your crewmates, who you love deeply, and especially Loras, your oldest friend to whom you have sworn fealty, would be horrified to discover what you have done, and deep in your heart you know you won’t be able to go on forever, that sooner or later your luck will run out and you’ll be discovered, or the two crews will take different paths in the vastness of the sea, separating the two of you forever.

🩵 It won’t last. It can’t last, and the sooner you accept it -even better, the sooner you decide that no matter how amazing the sex is between the two of you, it is not worth all the pain and the heartbreak that it will cause- the better it will be both for you and for Sanji. But you can’t accept it, every time you reflect that one day you might not have your next meeting to look forward to, to enjoy a little time kissing his warm skin or taking a brief, secret walk on a secluded beach before you part to return to your ships, you feel a lump in your throat and your eyes fill with tears. It would be easier, you reflect one night as you contemplate the empty expanse of the sea, sitting on the ship’s figurehead as you stand watch, if it were only that: only sex, because even at your young age, you know there are many things more important than physical pleasure and no lover, no matter how attractive and passionate, is worthy the respect of your crew. Unfortunately, if you ever hoped to limit your relationship with Sanji to a simple sexual affair, no strings attached and no fealty required, to abandon once either had grown bored with it or found a new partner, those wishes are soon and thoroughly dashed, because it takes you a few weeks at most to realise Sanji has become much more important than that, much more important than you could have ever imagined; he’s now part of you, and he’s come to stay. 

🩵 On your third date -your order yourself not to consider them as such, because friends with benefit don’t date, they meet and fuck and… and…- Sanji brings with him a lovely single-portion chocolate cake, with your name written on it with cream, that he has prepared last night after his friends had gone to bed. “Had they seen me they would have insisted on having some, but I wanted this to be for you and only for you.” he explains as he offers you a fork and a napkin “I don’t know what sort of dessert you prefer, but I thought you can’t go wrong with chocolate. What do you think?” The cake is the most delicious thing you ever had the pleasure of eating, sweet and soft on your tongue, but what pleases you the most, enough to make you blush, is the fact that Sanji made it expressly for you, renouncing the few hours he has to sleep and on top of all the time he already spends in the kitchen to cook for his friends. Of course Sanji is a cook, preparing food is what he does, but you feel flattered, and sincerely happy, he decided to share something that is so important for him, his passion and the art he has dedicated his life to, with you. You end up eating the cake together, and the chocolate-flavoured kisses that follow are even sweeter than those you usually share.

🩵 One day yet another confrontation between your crew and the Straw Hats takes place; the other ship is spotted while you’re in the pantry organising the supplies you and the others have carried on board that morning, and so, by the time the clamour on the deck reaches you and you realise what is happening, the fight is already underway. As usual you immediately look around searching for Sanji, and soon yoy find him, as he defends his crew’s red-haired navigator from two of your crewmates… while a third is aiming at his head from a distance with their rifle, unseen, the shot almost sure to kill Sanji given your crewmate’s skills. Instinctively -but even if you had a whole day to reflect on it you’d do the same, completely certain of the right thing to do- you immediately intervene, putting yourself between weapon and target, risking your own life to divert your crewmate’s shot. The noise attracts Sanji’s attention; he turns, sees you, realises what you have done and stares, apparently unable to act or speak. That night, you and the crewmate you have stopped from killing Sanji have an argument most of the others also witness; thank all the Gods none of them seems to suspect you acted to defend him, rather to stop another from killing the man the whole crew by now knows you consider your mortal enemy and favourite rival. Loras, who as usual avoids taking parts when two crewmates argue, tells you both to shut it, and the matter is closed.

🩵 The next time you meet, you and Sanji only have a few minutes to spend together, kissing as if it were the last day of your lives as your hands, by now well aware of where to touch and how to stimulate to give each other pleasure, move up and down your bodies, a fight against time made more exciting by the danger of being caught. “I know what you did, you know?” he murmurs after a while, as he holds you by the waist, his free hand playing with your hair. “To defend me.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” “I think you do; you stopped one of your friends from killing me, because you care about me. Or am I wrong?” Sanji grins, while you find yourself blushing; you’ve been seeing each other for months now, anyone could see you like each other, but admitting it out loud requires more courage than you possess. “Actually, I did it because only I am allowed to defeat you.” you say in the end; both you and Sanji enjoy your rivalry, the way you push each other to improve and use all your strength to defeat the other, but your explanation is hardly credible, especially after you retrieve a small box from your pocket and shyly offer it to him. “I… well, the first time we spoke you told me today was your birthday, so… this is a little thing I thought you’d like.” The box contains a wristwatch that you have found in the marketplace of a town your crew has visited recently. “I also had your name engraved on the back, apparently it’s something you do; I know as pirates we mostly use the sun to know what time it is, but… well…” You’re stammering, as embarrassed as you were that day when you were eleven and you confessed your love to the boy you liked -and were cruelly rejected- which is absurd, because you’re an adult, a ferocious and experienced pirate, and this is not a declaration, you just saw that -very expensive- watch at the stall and you thought it would look good on Sanji’s wrist, and you remembered his birthday would be soon, and… and… 

🩵 You cautiously look at Sanji to test his reaction, but he seems to be speechless; in the end he grins, broad and happy. “This is the best present I have ever received; I love it.” he murmurs as he observes his name engraved on the back of the watch and then puts it on “Thank you, (name); you… you shouldn’t have.” “I know; I just felt like buying you a present, that’s all.” you explain simply, and Sanji smiles at you, before a mischievous look fills his eyes as he kneels in front of you, his hands slipping under your skirt. “Now…” he murmurs “I know today is not your birthday, but what about I show you how much I appreciate your gift?”

🩵 You’re in the open, in a dark, uninhabited alley where nevertheless anyone could decide to step in at any moment, both passers-by and your crewmates, but acknowledging the danger only serves to make you both more excited; a minute later a hand pressed to your mouth is stopping you from screaming loud enough the whole town would hear, while Sanji is holding your panties in his hand and his blond head has disappeared under your skirt. What he does with his tongue is so deliciously lurid and sensual it takes him a minute to tip you over the edge, his intimate kiss gifting you a powerful, prolonged orgasm, and Sanji is forced to hold you to stop you from tumbling to the ground. “You are crazy.” you murmur, out of breath, and Sanji laughs. “I’ve been wanting to do this for weeks.” he confides, before dangling your panties in front of your eyes “Since it’s my birthday, may I keep these as well? As a souvenir for the days I don’t meet you?”

🩵 You go around panties-less for the rest of the day, the particularly windy day putting you at risk of being exposed in front of the whole crew; Sanji carries your second gift in his jacket pocket, touching it often. 

🩵 On another occasion, your crew reaches an island on which an important festival is taking place, with music, food and games; Loras, who looks unusually pensive, slips away to talk to two people he’s been introduced to by the town’s mayor, leaving the rest of the crew free to amuse itself. You have just been approached by an attractive man who is inviting you to dance when suddenly a child approaches, offering you a piece of paper. “A man gave me a hundred berry to give this to you, miss.” he says, and you quickly read the short message before smiling, and turning to the man next to you. “Sorry, I have to go.” you say, and a moment later you’re running full speed towards a secluded beach half a mile away, where Sanji is waiting for you, with a delicious dinner for two prepared on a blanket, including a bottle of wine and candles placed on the sand all around. “I took a leaf out of your book.” he says; the way he looks at you makes you feel completely naked, but not in the way his hands do when you can take advantage of the privacy of an inn room; it’s something much more intimate, that has more to do with your heart and your mind than your body, and that fills your heart with both joy and fear… as if you were standing on the edge of a ravine, destined to fall towards the unknown “You look lovely tonight. Why don’t you sit? I prepared your favourites.”

🩵 You don’t talk much that night, rather you enjoy each other’s company, the quiet murmuring of the waves, the light of the candles reflected on your skin. At the end of what must have been the best meal of your life Sanji takes your hand; you walk for a while on the beach, and while you can distantly hear the music and the voices of the people taking part to the festival, you feel as if nothing else existed in the world - not your crew, nor the various problems and difficulties that make carrying out a relationship in your situation almost impossible. In this moment, only the two of you exist; only you, and the stubborn desire to go on, not to lose each other, because even though you are both loyal to your crews, and your captains, you know by now that what exists between the two of you is too precious and special not to fight for it. You might have avoided giving a name to it, and even talking about it openly, and who knows what would happen if you were able to meet every day and spend more time together instead of stolen moments now and then, but you don’t want to believe it’s been all for nothing, you will not accept it!

🩵 At first it was only flirting; then it was sex, amazing but nothing more. And now, you can no longer deny it has become something that is perhaps not quite love yet, but it could become so easily, and soon…

🩵 You always thought Sanji felt the same, without the need to talk about it, and he does; however, his ideas regarding the future of your relationship are partially different from yours. “We can’t go on like this forever.” he murmurs after a while; he’s wearing your watch, like he has done every single time since you have gifted it to him “You know it as well. It’s not just because every time we meet we risk being discovered by our crews; I… I’m tired of this, (name). Tired of never knowing when I’m going to see you next, tired of not being able to tell my friends about you; at first it was exciting, but now I’m feeling trapped. You deserve better; we both do.” “I agree.” you murmur, relieved to know you feel the same but unsure of what to do about it “So… what do you suggest?” “Well… I thought you might decide to join the Straw Hats; I’m sure the others would like you, and you them, even though you’ve been part of our rival crew. I’d really like to have you on board, and this way we could spend time together and go on dates rather than having to snuck around. What do you think?” Sanji looks expectantly at you, clearly hoping for a positive answer you’re not ready to give him; no matter how genuinely happy you are to hear he believes in, and wants more from, your relationship, he is not the only important person in your life, and you’re not ready to abandon everything else to follow him, and his straw-hatted captain, around the sea.

🩵 “Why don’t you join my crew?” you propose back “I could tell Loras about you, I’m sure he’d be happy to have a great fighter, and cook, like you with us, and at that point we could spend as much time as we want together.” Sanji hesitates. “Luffy is my captain; I promised to be part of his crew until he becomes King of the Pirates, and I find the All Blue. He’s my friend, and he helped defend the place where I lived when it was attacked; I can’t abandon him.” “I respect that; but I also love and respect Loras, and the rest of my crew.” “I know, (name), but if you only met Luffy…” “And if only you met Loras…” you stop him, suddenly angry “Sanji, can’t you see? What you feel for your captain and crew, I feel it for mine; how can you ask me to leave my friends for you, when you’re not ready to do the same for me? Don’t you see how egotistical you sound?” He nods, admitting that he had already reflected it was not fair to expect from you a sacrifice he is not ready to make; you could both leave your crew, either to start your own or to abandon piracy and do something else, but that would only serve to make you both unhappy - not the best beginning for your life together. “So what? Is this the best we can get, to meet once in a while, have sex hiding as if we were cheating on our spouses, until one day our captains get tired of their rivalry and we lose each other forever when they decide to take different paths?”

🩵 Neither wants it; at all. Nevertheless, it seems like you have no other choice, none that wouldn’t mean sacrificing everything you hold dear. Would a future together be worth it? Maybe, but you know already you’d feel guilty for the rest of your lives. “I… I can’t do it; I’m sorry. I want to be with you, but I can’t leave everything I love behind to do it; I’d end up hating and resenting you, or you me, and that is the last thing I want.” Sanji nods, saddened but unsurprised by your decision; you wait for his answer, praying in your heart to see him smile suddenly and say here’s what we can do or something like that, but if there is a way for the two of you to be together without having to abandon your crews -and, almost as terrifying, to admit to your captains you have both been in a relationship with one of your rivals for months; at least in your case you know Loras will probably interpret it as a betrayal, even though you have never shared inside informations with Sanji or done something at his request that might advantage his crew against yours- neither you nor your lover see it. You share a last kiss and then part ways, both waiting until you can no longer see each other before you begin weeping.

🩵 It’s the middle of the night when you finally reach your ship at the harbour; rather than walking to your cabin to sleep until dawn, you sit on the empty bridge, staring at the sea shrouded in darkness, feeling empty and hopeless. The fact that Sanji believed in your relationship, in the promise of a future together, just like you did, is only partially a comfort; you can’t resent him for having chosen his crew over you, since you have done the very same thing, but your heart is broken in so many little pieces you fear it will never feel whole again. Part of you never wants to see him again, in the hope that distance will soothe your pain; the other fears that losing him will only increase your suffering, even though you know that sooner or later you will have to say goodbye. 

🩵 You’re so focused on your broken heart you only realise you’re no longer alone on the bridge when Loras comes sit next to you; he left the captain’s cabin to go relieve himself and saw you from one of the windows. “What’s wrong?” your friend and captain asks, but you simply shake your head in response: even though you have chosen to remain with him and the crew rather than leave with Sanji you still feel guilty, knowing how he would react if he learnt of your relationship with a member of Straw Hat Luffy’s crew. “You know I’d go to Hell and back with you, right? That you are my captain, and my best friend, and I’d rather kill myself than betraying you and losing your trust?” you ask him, still staring at the sea to avoid his eyes. If Loras finds your words, that unsought pledge of loyalty, weird, or worse suspicious, he doesn’t show it; for a moment you could swear he looks sad, almost regretful, but then he bumps his shoulder against yours, a friendly gesture you both often use towards each other, and you find the strength to smile. You’ve been friends since before you learnt to read and write and you know each other better than anyone else in the world; you have always supported him, and he has risked his life to save yours more than once. One day, soon, you’ll tell him about Sanji; he won’t be happy, but you know he’ll understand, and even sympathise with your broken heart. You know you’ll never forget your blond cook, but at least you’ll still have your dearest friend by your side. 

🩵 Barely two days later, Loras announces he has received credible information about the location of the treasure you’ve been searching for years, which is excellent news; consequently, you’ll be abandoning your current route to sail in a new direction, which is… good, in a way, you reflect, since it means you won’t risk running into the Straw Hats anymore. The prospect of never seeing Sanji again is almost unbearable but, you tell yourself, maybe in time you’ll learn to live without him in your life, and be happy and satisfied like you were before meeting him. You find comfort in Loras and your other friends on the ship, and in the hope, mixed with excitement, that the treasure will soon be in your hands. A few days later you reach a small island, and Loras leads a team of his ten most loyal crewmembers, obviously including you, to an isolated cave where its guardian spirit meets you, offering to deliver the treasure to you, if you have something to offer in exchange to the Goddess. Before you have time to grasp the meaning of those words, your crewmates have grabbed you and pushed you to the ground, with Loras looming over you, his sword in his hand. “What are you doing?” you ask, dumbfounded to the point you are not even scared yet, and your friend sighs, saddened but determined. “This is the rule, (name); the treasure can only be obtained in exchange for a human sacrifice to the local deity. And since this island is protected by a Goddess, the sacrifice must be a woman as well.” he explains “I wish there was another way; but since you’re the only woman of our crew it must be you.”

🩵 As the enormity of the situation hits you, you still can’t believe it is happening. You know how deeply, almost fanatically, Loras and the rest of the crew have been looking for the treasure, that has been the very reason you and your friend have taken to the sea years ago, but… but is he really going to sacrifice your life?! You’ve been inseparable since you were children, as close as siblings, sharing the best and worst moments of your lives and protecting each other against any danger; and now he’s preparing to kill you?! You look all around you, the faces of your crewmates betraying grief and heartbreak, but none of them hesitates, none of them utters a word in your defence or to beg the captain to reconsider. “We have all voted, (name).” Loras informs you, as if he had read your mind “The whole crew, while you were away. We are all in agreement; we are all so sorry, but we believe this is the right thing to do. Think about it; we’ve been striving for this treasure for years; we can’t simply let it slip from our fingers.”

🩵 He looks at you expectantly, as if waiting for you to approve his decision and accept being put to death, but you are still speechless; the whole crew knew what would happen to you today, the whole crew voted in favour of sentencing you to death, and no one told you! You didn’t suspect anything, naively convinced your crewmates shared your excitement for the imminent finding of the treasure and that soon you’d all be celebrating together. Instead, they were all planning on betraying you, stabbing in the back a person who has been their crewmate, and their friend. “I’m sure in my place you’d do the same.” Loras insists, but you stubbornly shake your head: no matter how desperately you wanted to find the treasure, you know no riches are worth the life of a crewmate, and the betrayal of a person who would have given their life for yours. Has he always been capable of such wretchedness, or did greed get the best of him? You don’t know; what you’re sure is that this is not the man, the friend, or the captain, you could be loyal to, and sacrifice your life for. You’re alone, unharmed against ten, but fury and desperation endow you with a strength you didn’t think you’d be capable of; you wait for Loras and the others to be focused on the spirit your now ex captain is formally offering your life to in exchange for the treasure, and you manage to grab the sword and the gun of one of the others; you wound two of them, and in the ensuing chaos you slip away towards one of the tunnels that open up in the back of the cave.

🩵 You run blindly for a while, soon getting lost in a veritable maze of tunnels; for a while you hear the voices of Loras and the others, determined to take you back, but soon the only sound you can hear is that of your feet on the ground, which suggests that your ex crewmates have given up, or at least you have left them behind. What are you going to do now?, you wonder, still under shock for the betrayal; lost as you are, you could perhaps walk around the tunnels for hours before finding an exit, where Loras and the others are probably waiting for you; also, everything you own bar the clothes on your back are still on the ship. Are you destined to die here, either by Loras’ hand or of starvation as you hide in the caves? Suddenly, for some reason, you think about Sanji, and new tears fill your eyes; if only you had known what was soon going to happen, if only you had accepted his offer to join the Straw Hats, now you’d be safe, by your lover’s side or at least free. All you wanted was to remain loyal to the people you love, and look how you have been rewarded!

🩵 In the end, as you turn a corner you’re pretty sure you have already seen at least twice, suddenly the cave’s spirit appears in front of you: she -it?- has the appearance of a young woman in an old-fashioned dress, semi-transparent, her naked feet hovering a few inches above the ground. Doubting your weapons would work against her, for a moment you fear she has come to get you, but the spirit smiles gently and points to one of the tunnels. “If you go that way you’ll find an exit your enemies don’t know of.” she explains “Walk for one mile and you’ll find a village, the people there will hide you. And you might need this.” This is your backpack, that you distinctly remember having left under your bed on the ship, neatly filled with your most important possessions. “Why are you helping me?” you ask, unsure; you have never met a spirit before, but you doubt they habitually assist the living out of kindness. In response, the spirit smiles gently. “Treasures are a peculiar thing; sometimes you lose them because of all you went through to find them, sometimes you don’t understand how precious they are until they have slipped through your fingers.” she says, before disappearing.

🩵 A moment later you have grabbed the backpack. Five minutes, and you have found the exit, hidden behind a thicket of bushes on an apparently deserted corner of the island. In less than half an hour you have reached the village, a sleepy place with two tiny inns; well aware that those will be the first places Loras and the others will look for you at, you offer half of the berry in your possession to a woman you meet at the market, and who accepts to host you in her house and keep the secret regarding your presence at the village. You plan on lying low until Loras and the others have left the island, but that night, as you sleep on the lady’s couch, you’re awoken by a sudden, brief but violent earthquake; the village’s buildings and streets miraculously suffer no damages, but the next morning you’re informed the cave the treasure was kept in has collapsed… and the members of a pirate crew recently arrived on the island were buried under the debris, including their captain. You have no way to be sure but you just know it wasn’t a simple accident, rather Loras and the others were punished for trying to take the treasure without offering a sacrifice in exchange. Despite everything you cry for them, for the crewmates you have sailed and fought side by side with for years, and for Loras, for the man he was before greed destroyed the better part of him; now you’re free, no longer having to fear being hunted or kidnapped, but you have no place to go, no friend left in the world, no goal or desire on which to focus your time and energy. You feel completely lost.

🩵 For lack of anything better, you begin helping the lady who houses you at her stall at the market, nor exactly the job of your dreams but that fills your time and pays for your room and board. On your third day you’re arranging the different varieties of fruit in their different crates when suddenly an unexpected but familiar voice reaches your ear. “Excuse me, I need some apples and pears…” 

🩵 Sanji is more attractive than ever, or at least this is how he appears in your eyes as you stare at each other across the stall; for a whole minute you’re both speechless, and then “What are you doing here?” you ask at the same time, you surprised to see him so far from the expected course of his ship, him who didn’t expect to see you working as a fruit seller. You parted more or less amicably, but suddenly your heart is full of shame, and the last thing you want is for your former lover to know how low you’ve fallen; but Sanji is still looking at you with that sweet, reassuring smile that has been the first thing you fell for, and you know that at the very least he will not make fun of you for what happened. The stall owner is looking at you disapprovingly, probably thinking you’re wasting time ogling a client instead of working, so you hurry to offer him a bag with his purchases. “I’ll take a break in fifteen minutes.” you whisper to him; your hands touch as he passes you the coins to pay, and the warmth of his skin on yours is a cherished memory you could never forget “Wait for me near the fountain at the end of the street.”

🩵 The next quarter of hour is the longest of your life, but finally you and Sanji are together once more; he has bought a flower at the market and he places it behind your ear, even though, he admits, you are already so beautiful you don’t need jewels or other decorations to look more attractive. What a charmer, you think as you blush, but a moment later Sanji asks what has become of your crew, and that is enough to make the joy for your encounter disappear like snow in spring. As you sit hand in hand on a bench, you share everything that happened since you and your - and Loras’ crew reached the island. Sanji’s reaction is the one you expected: incredulity, indignation, and anger. “So he didn’t ask you to sacrifice yourself, he didn’t give you a choice… but he deliberately kept the truth secret to ambush you? What a bastard!” he exclaims “And your whole crew was on board with him? No one said a word, all of them agreed to have you killed? This is… monstrous…” Sanji’s indignation comforts you but, but not enough that the betrayal of your former friends stops hurting. “The most painful thing is… Loras didn’t know about us, he wasn’t punishing me for having fraternised with a pirate of another crew; that I might have accepted. He simply placed my life on one of the scales and the treasure on the other, and he decided I was worth less.” you confide “We were like siblings, we had promised to face any danger and enemy together… I guess he never cared about me, not in the way he swore he did; I renounced you for his sake, and now I’m completely alone…”

🩵 Sanji doesn’t speak, but he holds you in his arms for a while, his hand gently playing with your hair. “You know.” he murmurs after a while “Luffy would have never done what Loras did. No matter how much he wants to find the One Piece, he would never sacrifice one of his crewmates for it.” “Wow, you really know how to twist the knife…” “No, sorry, I… what I meant to say is, I’m really sorry for what you went through, and happy you’re fine. But your captain clearly did not deserve your loyalty and friendship; mine would… if you were to join us, that is.” He confesses that after the two of you had last met, Sanji decided he could no longer keep your relationship secret from his friends, and told them everything. While understandably surprised, the others had accepted that Sanji had never meant to hurt or betray them, especially Luffy, a person completely uninterested in romance and relationships but who nonetheless assured him that he had nothing against his cook seeing his rival’s best friend… and who offered to welcome you in his crew, so that the two of you can be together. “I know it’d be a big change for you; that having been betrayed by a man you knew since you were a child, it could be hard for you to trust a person you have never really met.” he adds kindly “But you’d love being with us; you know Luffy is strong, but he’s also kind and loyal, just like you are. I’m sure you’d get along… and I’d love to have you in the crew. I… I have missed you so much.”

🩵 You have missed him as well, like you had renounced a part of you; you look at Sanji’s kind and hopeful face, and you feel your eyes fill with tears - again. “I have been so stupid… so naive, I have given up on you, I don’t deserve a second chance…” “Of course you do; (name), you deserve people who cherish and support you like you do with them, be it as friends or crewmates… or l-lovers.” he murmurs, stammering a bit “I have missed you so much, and what I feel for you goes well beyond sex…” He can’t finish the sentence, because suddenly you’re kissing him, for the first time in days, and this hasn’t been the longest you’ve been since the last time you saw each other, but having Sanji’s lips against yours is like the first breath of fresh air after almost drowning; you’re still sobbing, tears of pain and joy together running down your cheeks, and he laughs as he kisses you back, happy and relieved, until you need to part to breathe. “Is that a yes?” he asks, eyes sparkling, and you admit that you’ll have to meet his friends, and especially his captain, before deciding, but yes, you’d be honoured to join the crew of a powerful pirate who values loyalty and friendship.

🩵 “Do you think your friends will like me? After all we’ve been enemies for a long time.” you murmur after a while, unsure; Loras’ crew is everything you have ever known as a pirate, and the idea of joining an already close-knit group does make you nervous. Sanji, who knows you well enough to know he doesn’t need to lie to make you feel better, admits that it might take the others a little longer to get used to you, but he’s sure they’ll easily accept you as soon as they realise the sort of person you are, and you’ll feel as if you had always been part of the Straw Hats. “Also, you’ll have me.” he adds, almost as an afterthought; he’s smiling, but there is a conviction in his voice that turns those words into a promise “Fully and completely, as long as you’ll want me. I swear. Having sex with you is amazing, but I want more; I want to be your man.” You smile, resting your forehead against his and enjoying the sweet, chaste intimacy of his body close to yours: you’re pretty sure your work break is over and you have to go back to the stall, but you couldn’t care less - not least because you’ll have to tell the lady that you quit. “I think I can work with that.” you murmur “Sanji, I missed you so much… I have never known why we kept running into each other, but one thing I’m sure of: I don’t want to spend another day without you by my side.”

🩵 You spend a few more minutes holding each other before standing; hand in hand, you start in the direction of the harbour, leaving the market and the village behind you. 

[kaiserposting]

Michael Kaiser, Alexis Ness — Fanned Out

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader/Alexis Ness WORD COUNT: 2.1k TYPE: Humor, Bad flirting (it's getting worse somehow) NOTE(S): This happens directly after Dog Walking. Another one shot with this reader character is Wardrobe Malfunction (U don't need to read either to know what's going on)

You thought after Ness gave you that sermon earlier, trying to indoctrinate you into the Kaiser cult or whatever, the topic would be over and done with. But no, he’s still going. You wonder how he can go on and on, and on, and on, and on about something so worthless.

Maybe you’re becoming a part of the problem, though, and this isn’t a notion that occurs to you often. You’re sitting next to Kaiser of your own volition, after all, leaving you between them while Ness lectures you from the other side.

In your defense, your plan seemed like it would have a high chance of success. You assumed for sure Ness would be too embarrassed to keep talking about that stuff right in front of Kaiser, and here you are, wrong.

Kaiser also appears to still be half-asleep or something because he’s just picking at his breakfast without paying any heed to either of you. His movements are sluggish and he’s unresponsive, which makes his company about fifteen times more pleasant than it usually is.

“I mean, it’s just- How dare you take Kaiser’s first kiss so carelessly?! If you’re going to do that, it’s at least worth a confession.”

Your abrupt laughter results in you choking on your food and sends you into a severe coughing fit, to the point you’re slapping the table with too much force and gasping for breath. You knew it. This man is going to put you in the dirt.

It takes Kaiser precisely two blinks to register what Ness just blurted out, and it does a great job of shaking the drowsiness out of his system. The two of them are ignoring you as if you’re not on the brink of asphyxiating, and Kaiser seethes, “Ness, you shithead! Just because I fucking tell you something doesn’t mean you need to announce it to the world. What the hell?”

“Sorry, Kaiser,” Ness says, flinching. Apparently he has ordained that your offenses haven’t yet stacked up to deserving the death penalty, though, because he takes mercy on you and smacks you on the back until you spit out whatever got stuck in your throat.

Kaiser stares at you as if your hacking was in some way inconvenient to him. Ness is still babbling, muttering apologies both of your ways (though the ones directed at Kaiser are, of course, more fussy).

Despite the post-almost dying haze, you speak in your typical derisive fashion, “You can’t be serious? That was your first kiss? That’s just pathetic.” For good measure, you add in another cackle at the end.

“It’s not like I’ve never had the opportunity to kiss anyone,” justifies Kaiser. What to make this sentence any sadder than Ness nodding in agreement in the background, like he feels the need to provide some kind of confirmation? “I don’t care about useless gestures like this. How many people have you kissed before, anyway, huh?”

“A profitable amount.” You shrug.

“What does that even mean,” Ness asks in the most incurious tone possible.

“Honestly a little disappointing you’d waste your time on stupid shit instead of giving football your all. I expected better from you.”

Wow, leave it to Kaiser to try and make you look like a loser for this. You kind of respect the move, but you won’t admit it to his face.

“I guess it’s a little wild I have experiences outside of football. Wanna know what’s wilder, though?”

“No. Talk to the-”

“How quick you folded even though you’ve never done it before. That's crazy.” Kaiser rolls his eyes, but it doesn’t discourage you from continuing, “Don’t worry, I don’t blame you. I tend to have this effect on people.”

“Shut up! Kaiser is not easy.”

“You’re such an embarrassment,” Kaiser says, looking at Ness with a very pronounced lack of amusement.

He is about to apologize again — what is he even sorry for? existing? — but this brings your attention back to him, and you swing an arm around his shoulders with a look of intrigue. “You seem like the kinda guy who's never kissed anyone before either. Want me to remedy that for you, too?”

“N-No! Why would you even want to do that with me? You’re sick.” With these final words, Ness proceeds to… hop out of his seat and run off to a different table. Overkill much? Does he have no self esteem at all?

You stare incredulously at the spot he was previously sitting in along with Kaiser, and then you turn to look at each other with a vague sense of confusion as if you’re both unsure you actually witnessed this happen.

“So,” Kaiser begins, fumbling around his food with his fork in a manner he probably considers nonchalant, “if you didn’t notice it was my first time kissing someone, that means it was good and you liked it.”

You smile at him. “With how skilled you are at jumping to conclusions, you should consider a career change to obstacle course racing. Would you like a performance review? Constructive criticism? A rating from one to ten?”

In an impressive show of restraint, Kaiser doesn’t throw any of the bowls in your face.

___

Kaiser has been staring at himself in the mirror for more than thirty minutes with a thoughtless smile on his face.

You’re getting this estimate from the fact he was doing this when you first walked in, and the shit you were taking was on the tougher side, and now you’re done and he’s still at it. He does this nonsense every morning, though, so you’re about to leave him alone… until an idea crosses your mind.

You approach, your reflection coming closer and closer ominously. “Kaiser.”

“Go away. You’re interrupting me,” he says, despite not doing anything you can see at all.

“Hear me out for a second. You can go back to psychotically talking to yourself after.”

“I wasn’t ‘psychotically talking to myself.’”

“Really? Because it looked to me like you were giving yourself a motivational speech in your head.”

“What the fuck do you want? Just get on with it. I don’t have time for this.”

“Clumsy topic segue. But anyway, I’ve been feeling kind of bad about the stuff with the kiss.” Just the mention of it is enough to make him pull an annoyed expression, but you disregard it. “I wanna do something nice for you.”

He looks at you in a way someone who just swallowed an entire lemon, with the exocarp and all, might — weird, but unmistakably thrown off and irked. In a sarcastic tone, he asks, “Why would you want to do something nice for me? Since when are you such a good samaritan?”

You turn around and pull yourself up over the vanity, unfazed by his attitude. “Let me do your eyeliner thing for you.”

…?

It is obvious you have an ulterior motive here. Kaiser’s eyes dart between you and the make-up appliance. He only has his curiosity to blame when he hands it over to you after a while of paranoid scrutiny.

You lean in and push his hair aside with your fingers, using your other hand to draw the usual wing under his waterline. Despite the lack of suspicious or otherwise unusual movements on your end, Kaiser is tense. Nothing sinister is happening and it’s weirding him out.

You finish and switch to the other one. This is unsettling. A sense of foreboding looms over him, and though you’re being prompt about it, the process seems long and arduous in his mind.

Once you’re done, in one swift motion — as if you’ve practiced before — you press the tip of the pen against his forehead and scrawl something, before backing off and beaming at him with smug satisfaction. It all happens so quickly, he doesn’t react with more than a blink at first.

Kaiser’s brows furrow and he glances at himself in the mirror, confirming the unthinkable. “Did you just sign my fucking forehead?”

“For my biggest fan.”

“I’m not your fan. Get over yourself. You’re not Drake.”

“I figured it was fair you’d get my first ever autograph, since I got your first kiss.”

“Go to hell and burn while you’re at it! I have to clean this now.”

“Why would you clean it?” you ask. What kind of moron are you, Kaiser wonders. “I think you should get it tattooed. It costs millions, you know? In fact, you should show it off in front of the others.”

“Please. Whatever I wipe myself with would cost ten times more than your signature ever will.”

“If it helps you sleep at night, Kaiser,” you relent, still coming off as very pleased with yourself, which makes this whole thing more annoying than it needs to be. Though he looks like he’s about to bite your face off, you invade his personal space even further and inch closer, your nose almost brushing against his. “You can say anything you want. Doesn’t change the fact that you’re my little bitch.”

“Stop calling me that! What’s wrong with you?!” he fumes, reaching to grip your waist and attempting to push you off the countertop.

You almost fall despite resisting, too, but you throw the eyeliner at his face, and it creates enough of a diversion for you to slide down without accident. You’re at the door by the time you turn around to address him again. “I have to admit, the elephantine size of your forehead is what really made this possible for me. Thank you for this opportunity.”

Ele- ele-what?

He clenches his fists, grits his teeth, on the cusp of a hypertension headache. You’re so going to get it! Kaiser doesn’t know yet how he will go about hiring a hitman to kill you while you’re both still stuck in Blue Lock, but Ness is here, which means murder isn’t entirely off the table.

___

Kaiser relays the story of your little bathroom encounter to Ness with the seriousness and urgency of a kidnapper laying down ransom demands. Another person’s name on his- his- his… royal but not at all big forehead, it’s sacrilegious. He’s getting pissed off all over again thinking about it.

Of course, Ness, too, treats the matter as deserving of the gravity Kaiser is giving it. “Don’t worry,” he says. But Kaiser isn’t worried. He is bloodthirsty. “There’s only one way to deal with inflated balloon heads like that. I’ll take care of it.”

“How? You know something I don’t?”

With his usual guileless smile on his face — reminiscent of a frog — Ness leads the way and, in an uncharacteristically confident manner, promises you ‘will be very embarrassed.’

By now Kaiser is following him just because he wants to see whatever is about to go down. It doesn’t take them long to cross the field and reach you.

You’re bouncing a ball on your foot, and once you notice them, you wave with grandiosity. “Hello, numbskulls. Did you come closer so you can admire me better?”

Kaiser doesn’t even know where to begin with this statement, but Ness spares him the effort because without any hesitation, he says, “Yes.”

Snapping his head to stare at him with offense, Kaiser now has to wonder if Ness was the real maniac all along.

You seem to share similar sentiments because your eye twitches and remains stuck half open after. The ball rolls away when you fail to catch it. “What- huh? Huuuuh? You’re just gonna agree with me?”

“Yes. You’re an amazing player with exceptional abilities,” Ness says pleasantly. Candidly. “Not to mention how clever you are. You’re also really good at thinking on the spot. I don’t just mean on the field, but in general, too. Your wit is impressive.”

These compliments are way too upfront and honest. A chill goes down your spine and you gape at him, disturbed. Then your expression morphs into something more awkward — nonplussed, maybe, nervous in some manner — and you say, “I-I don’t know what game you’re playing, but I don’t like it.”

Probably realizing your usual poise is ebbing away, you grimace, cover your face with your forearm as if you are doing a bad job of shielding yourself from imaginary sunlight and pivot around before sprinting away from them at max speed while screaming something incoherent in terror.

“What?” Kaiser yells, gesturing at your fleeing figure. “What’s with that reaction?! No way? What? Over a few nice words? What the hell? What!”

As usual, Ness’s appearance is innocent enough, but there’s a certain glint in his eyes now, like he’s hungry for more power. “Kaiser… Kaiser, I… I did it!”

Kaiser considers making a getaway, but he already saw how unbecoming it is.

___

Oh I know you guysare sick of me...

My sheltered no life experiences outside of kicking a ball Kaiser agenda. With the way he acts I wouldnt be surprised if his mother didnt hold him after giving birth to him

[nights-at-crystarium]

i just wanted to pop by and gush about how incredibly well written vivi is because GOD. his story unfolding has made me reconsider several story beats about my wol and thats an amazing thing

theres two things that i think uve done especially well with his storytelling, being that vivi feels like an almost complete enigma to the reader, despite how intimate this story is, and the fact that vivi feels incredibly human - almost TOO human to be comfortable with

so to elaborate on the first point - i think a lot of us (and certainly i can) echo thancreds sentiment that he doesn't know vivian rell, because as intimate as this story can get with his pov, in the end, much like someone you'd meet in real life, we don't know much about him before the point we meet him, and any glimpses we get just signal that theres so much more to him than we get to see. and as much as we DO know about him, i find that every time he does one of his blank, furrowed stares that signal he's thinking something, my brain practically lights on fire trying to figure out what he's considering. to that end i really like how enigmatic uve made him from a storytelling perspective, because it makes him feel so much more real!!! i honestly look forward a lot to learning more fragments (heh) of him and slowly piecing together a puzzle of him as the story goes on. i just want to rotate him in my head lol

but also, this does segue into my other point really well, which is the fact that vivis position as wol really seems to wear on him, and he seems for lack of a better word, completely exhausted! i know (myself included) write their wols with a trait of an almost unbreakable, iron will, which is very much still true in vivis case (again, anyone who gets to the point of shadowbringers without flat out giving up is incredibly strong by default) but showing him at his wits end, exhausted with the burdens of a hero, someone just so throughly *done* with what is, realistically, a pretty shit job is well... yeah! of course he is! he's only human, and he's what, saved the world 3 times now? seen countless die before him, powerless to save them, of course he's numb. the fact that the most defining experiences of the first for him are filled with mostly such... benign experiences, and that the major, climatic moments of shadowbringers get as much fanfare as a forlong gaze, or a like. him hanging out with his fairy bestie is such a cool storytelling decision. (also before i ramble about this the decision to not even show tesleen is such an excellent decision bc like. it makes sense for him for this to not be such a significant moment. shes just another death, another tally to the thousands hes already seen. or maybe im reading WAYYY too hard into a decision to not highjack this love story with plot) basically, what i've been gushing about is the fact that vivi feels very much like a whole person, and is probably one of the most well realised wols ive ever read about. and his relationships with the world leaders, and this impossible burden hes forced to shoulder has gotten me to reconsider how i write my wol, because yeah! any hero might be strong-willed and resilient, but theyre still human, and the burden of a warrior of light is maybe, a little too much for anyone to bear.

i hope u could at least make something out of my rambles, but honestly to sum it all up i am incredibly captivated by vivi. i originally read fragments because i like ANY wolgraha content but now, i come back almost exclusively to see how vivi's story unfolds, and how graha eventually comes into the fold too. hes such a fascinating character, and i think youve done an incredible job of creating a well rounded hero, full of humanity!!! (also, if you want, feel free to post this on ur blog!!)

I think I shat myself like 5 times while reading this (positive)

Vivi being an enigma wasn't really part of the plan. We have a pool that's his lore, things I wanna tell, and a bottleneck through which it has to go. The comic format forces me to consider what bits of info to deliver when, there's only so much I can tell at a time. One deliberate choice I made is completely burn the bridge between ARR and ShB, skip, leave it empty. That already sparks questions when we see a different Vivi at the beginning of ShB (and gives me leeway, time to write with more nuance, I didn't Think about HW-SB in such scrupulous detail as ShB).

I wanted to tell a primarily ShB story from the start, but had less ambition, and planned to condense the angsty bits that you're reading nowadays into an infodump told by Vivi to no one (to the reader). Changing the receiving party to a tangible character who's eager to learn (Exarch) made the info easier to digest and anchored it in the world. This change, fwiw, happened in like 2022 while I drew the ARR arc, saw the warm reception, and got more excited about my thing. I constantly learn and try to improve, writing's a new toy that brings me tons of fun.

So, when I learned the new trick - telling things through other characters - I thought, why not make everyone slightly wrong, or rather, with a specific snapshot of Vivi in their head. Same happens irl, people only know the version of you that they're exposed to, the only person who knows the full and real you is you.

That brings me to the next point, why Vivi feels so human: I made him not as a wol/hero, but a guy I wanna ship with Exarch, his foil. Obligatory note it was dumb of me to ignore Emet's existence in that case, but that's already changed. Exarch denies himself the simple human joys, he plots his own fucking death, so I thought I'd give him a guy that teaches him how to enjoy being alive again. That was THE foundation of Vivi, his core. He's a manic pixie dream boy.

Then I started asking how and why: why he falls for Exarch specifically instead of ARRRaha? He's confident, selfish, casual (these traits are what Exarch lacks), emotionally intelligent, where did that come from? He must've had an utterly normal life and loving family before he became a hero. He grew up being appreciated and happy. OH, then his ass must LOATHE the current situation because he can't go back to that normal life! So on, so forth.

i find that every time he does one of his blank, furrowed stares that signal he's thinking something, my brain practically lights on fire trying to figure out what he's considering.

This's me carefully dropping the breadcrumbs and hoping that you notice them, and you go HOLY SHIT BREADCRUMBS, this's so validating ;w; <3 This's overtly called a story hook, though I prefer "door". So far this story's only opened doors, as in hinted at more stuff without immediately showing it. I love it when questions get delayed answers, when you get time to stew on it and build up anticipation, then, when the door finally closes, it's much more satisfying. I keep in mind all the doors I've opened, if something provokes a question, it's by design.

(also before i ramble about this the decision to not even show tesleen is such an excellent decision bc like. it makes sense for him for this to not be such a significant moment. shes just another death, another tally to the thousands hes already seen. or maybe im reading WAYYY too hard into a decision to not highjack this love story with plot)

You're 100% correct!! I'm not retelling the canon ShB story from a default wol pov, this's a custom thing focused on ships, therefore anything that doesn't contribute to said ships gets cut. You may read what's NOT shown as what Vivi doesn't pay attention to.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, this gave me so much motivation like you wouldn't know ;//////;

[melminli]

Poison Paradise

pairing: hazbin hotel x fem. reader

summery - the gang finds out about one of your past relationships, which was kinda - well, actually really bad. you weren't proud that it happened either, but it did, and you couldn't really change that fact. no matter how much you wanted to.

word count: 1.5k

contains: alcohol consumption, toxic relationships, crack, (tw: val), cursing, strong language, sinner reader, sexual themes, demon horniness

Angel Dust felt his way through the liquor cabinet at the bar with all the arms at his disposal, looking for more stuff, stronger stuff - he wasn't necessarily picky, to be honest. The only thing that mattered was that it would make him feel numb. He had already put a good collection of bottles on the counter, and it was a large pile of different stuff. Though, he doubted if any amount of alcohol would be enough today. Fuck it, maybe all of Hell didn't even have enough alcohol for him because after today, Angel believed anything to be possible.

"Get the fuck out of my bar." Husker finally grumbled as he spotted the intruder in his area. "You sit. I make drinks." He said and shoved his emotional figure out by force. He really didn't want to listen to any of his whining right now.

A loud groan was heard in response, one that epitomized Angel's agony. "One fuckin' drink won't be enough this time." He moaned as if he was in pain and draped himself over a bar stool before grabbing one of the bottles he had placed on the counter earlier. He drank the whole thing without looking at the label. "I don't even think all the damn drinks in Hell could fill this horrible feelin' in the deepest parts of my heart." He said, wiping away the liquid that had spilled from the corner of his mouth. He was about to take another bottle, but Husker took it away before it could get anywhere near his mouth.

The cat demon furrowed his eyebrows. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Did you have to fuck an ugly guy at work or something?" He asked him, but that didn't quite seem to be it from Angel's reaction. "Two ugly guys?"

The famous porn star finally looked up with his face. "I wish! If I had to fuck a hundred ugly guys to undo what I've heard, I would!"

Well, maybe he would do it regardless, since it wasn't really in his hands and that was his fucking job, but that wasn't the point right now.

The two girls were just arriving in the main hall when they heard the commotion. Charlie looked a little worried at what Angel was saying. "What did you hear?" She asked, also out of mild curiosity.

At the question, he draped himself dramatically over the bar stool again, as if the mere memory of it was enough to make him nauseous. "I don't even wanna say it out loud. Makes me wanna puke just thinkin' 'bout it."

Every pair of eyes in the room looked around a little confused, but no one really seemed to have a clue what was going on. Vaggie looked to the bartender. "What the hell is wrong with him." She asked with interest but only got a shrug in response.

Several minutes passed as the people in the room busied themselves trying to figure out what seemed to be upsetting poor Angels Dust. Though, It was more Charlie who took on this task, while the other two watched quietly, and Niffty tried to spear a bug with a fork in some corner. Neither of them was really successful at what they were doing.

So since everyone was kind of busy with something else, no one really noticed at first when you came through the door. That was until you spoke up. "Oh, hello, guys. Did I miss today's activity? Damn it, that's such a shame!" You tried to say in a very disappointed manner, with the worst acting skills in history.

You had to end the act somewhat abruptly though, when Angel Dust suddenly pointed an accusing finger at you and yelled out, "Ya and Val were fuckin' each other!" He threw the accusation at you, which to be honest wasn't really that much of a surprise to any one. After all, this was Hell we were talking about, people were fucking each other all the time and we were here talking about the Valentino.

Angel himself realized his mistake. "Well, that's actually not that bad." He mumbled, trying not to sound like a hypocrite. Then he stood from his position and pointed his index finger accusingly at you again. "Ya and that freak were in a lovin', committed relationship!"

Everyone's mouths dropped open and for a few seconds nothing could be heard except the coughing of Husker as he tried to stop himself from choking on his drink.

You looked around the room, slightly on display, not really sure what to say. "Uhhh..." you stuttered, trying to get something out. "...who's Val? I mean seriously, never heard of the guy." You laughed out, sweating.

The cat demon waved his hand in disinterest at what you were saying since you were just bullshitting. "You were dating that evil porn director of the Vees?" He asked disbelievingly. "Is that even possible? I bet that fucker can't even stay committed to a brand of soap."

You looked to the side, slightly ashamed. "Well, he wasn't the evil porn diractor of the Vees when I was dating him." You assured them and then added. "Besides, underneath all that fur is a really nice guy who can be really sweet sometimes!" You shouted out and saw how no one really believed your words, and you couldn't really blame them since you didn't even do it yourself. You tried only telling half the truth, and that didn't seem to work out, so you finally gave up. "Okay, fine. The relationship was toxic as shit and made me want to kill myself. It's not my proudest work. Are you happy now?"

Vaggie looked a little confused. Because what you said and what Angel said didn't really seem to match up. Yours sounded more accurate. "That sounds more like that Val guy."

You shrugged your shoulders and laughed. "Yeah, I really have no idea where you picked that up, Angel." You said, tapping him on the chest. "But I can assure you that it was anything but loving and committed, trust me. You of all people should know best."

Of course he did. When Angel heard about how you and the guy who held him on a leash (in a non-kinky way) were a thing he felt a little betrayed, but it seems like Val also wasn't the best thing that happened to you. "Of course I do, I just didn't think ya did, too." He admitted, leaning a little closer to you. "I still can not believe that this guy was in any kind of relationship, if I'm being honest. I mean, how could ya even convince him to do that?"

You blinked a couple of times. "I didn't have to. He asked me to be his girlfriend." You saw the others look shocked again, and even the two who always had a very uninterested attitude towards most things seemed to want to know more. "I know! I was also really surprised when he did it, I mean it's...Val."

With all the stuff she'd heard so far, Charlie couldn't help but look a little disappointed. "Why did you even get involved with him in the first place if you knew he was bad news?"

You avoided looking at anyone. "Well, I wasn't lying before. He could be nice, sometimes even more than that." You whispered as you thought back to that time. "But most of the time, he wasn't. And he kept promising me that he would change, but that never really lasted for long, so yeah..." you said, shrugging your shoulders like it was nothing. "That's why I broke up with him."

Husker's eyebrows drew together suspiciously. "And he just let you?"

When you only gave a hesitant nod in response, Angel's patience burst. "Ya can't just give a half-assed version of the story! I need all the information down to the smallest detail!" He shouted and shook you by the shoulders.

The Princess of Hell and her girlfriend looked a little worried at the scene before them. Charlie finally spoke up and tried to be the voice of reason by walking between you two. "Maybe it's a sensitive subject for her. We shouldn't force her to tell something that brings up bad memories, don't you think so, Angel?"

At what she said, his grip on you loosened, giving you a chance to escape to a safe distance. "I'm pretty over it to be honest, but I'm not telling shit to a mean bitch!" You exclaimed and then quickly ran away.

At that, the spider demon immediately ran after you like a bullet out of a gun. "Get over here! I'll pull the information out of yer throat if I have to!"

Oh boy. Charlie had hoped that she could have taught you all a valuable lesson through this situation, but unfortunately, that really didn't go as planned. As if anything did around here. She thought to herself with a slight smile on her face.

[raainberry]

Stickers

« silly series - 5 »

Momo x gn!reader

Fluff

synopsis - who knows how you ended up getting stickers glued on the face by a pretty girl but you don’t complain

wordcount - 570

A/N - writer’s block has hands y’all im ngl💀 but i do have a couple things drafted up🤭 (spy!yeji but you didnt hear it from me)

“Stop making that face.”

“What face?”

“You keep scrunching your cheeks everytime I put one on, it messes it all up.”

“Oh because it’s supposed to be structured?” You asked, feeling the mess on your face.

Several stickers, all pink and white following the Barbie color theme she loved so much. You thought they were pimple patches, and you were foolish enough to ask about them, believing her when she told you they were.

You trusted her, as one would their girlfriend, so you let her on your lap, her makeup half-done as she took a break to cover your two pimples that had popped out overnight.

You found out they were regular stickers about two minutes later, when she couldn’t contain her laughter anymore. By then it was too late to get her to stop, she’d tasted how fun it was.

Her giggles kept leaving the sweetest smile on her face. If it weren’t for it, you’d have whined her out of your lap far long ago.

She seemed happy. The way her eyes never failed to smile along with her lips, you swore it was the most beautiful sight this world had to offer. What an honor to be the cause behind it.

So long as it was harmless, you were okay with whatever could bring her joy. Even getting stickers on your face that would definitely make you break out more.

The things you’d do for that woman.

“Yes it is structured.” She said as she focused on another sticker. “I’m trying not to overbear your cheeks.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the way her lips mindlessly parted. You’d think she was dealing with something with much higher stakes.

She was so effortlessly endearing. Was she even aware of how easily she could make you weak?

“Why not? That should be the point. It’s like blush, no?” You argued, making her chuckle.

“That’s ridiculous. No, it’s not.”

“Why not?”

“It’s just stickers.” She answered, focused on yet another one she applied to your chin this time.

“Are you gonna be done any time soon?” You wondered.

As much as you loved Momo, your muscles were starting to strain from trying to hold still for so long.

“I am actually. Do you want to see?” She grinned, reaching for the pocket mirror in your hand.

You nodded, smiling back at her before the sight was replaced with your own self.

“What do you think?” She asked, and you couldn’t help but laugh in response.

“Momo, why?”

“What?” She whined despite joining in on your laughter.

“Just—Why?”

“I don’t know, you asked and then I saw you looked pretty so I just continued. You told me I could!”

“Oh, so I’m not pretty without them? Do I have to live with these on my face forever? Look at me!”

“I am! You look nice, I wanna kiss your cheeks so bad, but it’s going to mess it all up.” She pouted, running her thumb over the stickers ever so gently.

“I’d rather kiss your lips anyway.” You shrugged.

“Just say cheese.” She rolled her eyes, grabbing her phone to capture the memory she’d just half-forced on you.

You simply laughed, following her orders as you looked into the camera. She took a few pictures, different angles catching the love you shared and gave each other so happily.

The two of you looked awfully wholesome in all of them. Looking at them, you were almost jealous of yourself before remembering you’re the one she loves.

What an honor. Hopefully you’ll stick around each other for a long, long while.

[mxtantrights]

no ordinary human

a/n: okay so after this, will be a final part. I didn't have any idea y'all would like it this much but thank you so much for the notes and the comments! fair warning since it's gonna end soon, buckle up because I wanna give you some angst. I hope you enjoy!

The wind feels good against your skin. You hadn't been able to just sit down and relax for a while now. And by a while you mean three years. That's how long you've been here for.

Three years of living in another place and longing for home.

Three years of several unanswered questions.

You lean your head back and close your eyes, holding your arms out. Work had been busy these past few weeks. And you haven't taken any time for yourself in between that and trying your best to understand your place here.

You don't notice that someone is behind you until they finally speak up.

"I hope you don't think you can fly."

You don't jump at the sound of another voice though. No, because you're technically still living in a nightmare. Not a lot can scare you anymore.

You turn around and find the source of the voice.

"Amren, I don't think I can fly." you answer.

"Good, because I have a question for you."

"Go ahead."

"Which one will you choose?" she asks.

You clear your throat. You know exactly what she's talking about. Or, you know who she's talking about. You've had this dilemma for more than a year now.

-

When Eris visited you for the second time, it was a few months after he first met you. He apologized and told you that he was trying his best to help you. You took it at face value and accepted it.

But you didn't, well you couldn't, forget that feeling deep inside of you. That he was lying but you still trusted him. Even though you didn't know him.

It's not until the third visit that you inquire a bit more about him. He seemed surprise that someone would ask about him. That someone would have questions for him.

He seemed to answer truthfully and politely. And he even ask your some questions of his own. Not that many, and they were merely basic ones.

But after that third visit he seemed to visit more often. Even if it was a quick drop in to ask how you were doing. He showed up almost every Seven days to see you. Even though he had not progress on getting you back home.

The two of you fell into a routine. Sometimes he'd bring little trinkets. Other times he'd teach you something about the current world you're living in.

It was something delicate between the two of you. You'd be a bit mad to say that you didn't find him attractive when you first met him. But that feeling only grew the more you spent time with him. He was infectious.

Sometimes he would smile and you would think that he never done it before. That he's not used to it, but he does so indoor presence which makes you feel special.

-

"Well, who says I even have to make a choice? Maybe none of them think of me that way. After all I'm just an ordinary human." you say.

Amren scoffs, "No you're not an ordinary human. And these aren't normal circumstances."

"Even if I agreed with you, for a moment, they were my friends first. I wouldn't want to ruin that."

"Azriel liked you from the moment he saw you, he just didn't want to say anything."

That stuns you. Amren takes in the look on your face and you try your best to reign it in. But you can't and she can't help but to laugh at you.

"Oh between the little things he does and how he speaks to you, you didn't put it together?" she asks you.

-

For three years Azriel has been a sort of unspoken calm in your world. From the moment you met him and he helped to get you out of Beron's hold. Of course you didn't trust him, or any of them, for the first four months.

But at some point you did. And it wasn't because of some nice gesture or fancy gift, though they did all try those routes. Azriel was the only one to realize what you needed without asking. Space.

It wasn't until one night you woke up from the worst nightmare you ever had since arriving in their world, that he denied you your space. You were clawing at your skin and screaming in your sleep.

He had jumped in, waited for you to wake up and calmed you down from there. You never had a nightmare after that.

Azriel worked his way into your life unconsciously. Whenever Amren couldn't train you, he would. And he wouldn't hold back either. No matter how many times you told him that you were still human.

Somewhere along the lines you became friends. He'd hangout with you once or twice a week, work schedule permitting. And he would invite you to family dinners sometimes.

When you decided to move out and get a place on your own he was the first one to support you and help you find a place. He helped you move and even offered to stay a couple of nights with you if you wanted another soul in the house to talk to.

He visited the most out of everyone. Always dropping by, always around to talk.

Azriel and you didn't get too deep. You didn't have to, really. It was like the two of you understood each other. The gaps of silence between the two of you were never awkward, they were welcomed.

-

"Why wouldn't you tell me this before?!" you ask incredulously.

Amren rolls her eyes, "You're not a child. Neither are they. And anyways there are other circumstances that you don't know about."

"What other circumstances are there? "

Amren sighs.

"I really think you should talk to the two of them about this." she answers.

"You brought it up!" you say.

"I know, because it was pestering me. But now I realized I opened a box that wasn't mine." she replies.

"Are they here?" you ask.

She nods her head, "Yes. In the ballroom talking to each other. Which is a sight in itself."

You clear your throat, trying to muster the courage needed for what is bound to come next. And you walk out of the terrace. You bid Amren a goodbye as you step inside.

Almost as if they're waiting for you, the both of them stand by the front door. They turn to face you when you enter the room. You try to not let the nerves over take you as you walk over to them.

Once you're in their vicinity, you speak. Or you're going to, but they both beat you to it.

"We need to speak to you." they say a the same time.

Eris opens the front door and beckons your forward. You say nothing as you walk through the door. As you walk and walk down the long hallway to your old room, you can hear their footsteps behind you.

It takes a few more moments before all three of you are in a room. You take a seat on the bed and look at the both of them before you. The both of them look like they are trying to figure out who is going to speak first.

The shadowinger crosses his arms over his chest.

"I do have to confess something to you." Azriel says.

Your eyes go wide. You wonder if he was okay with just confessing his feelings in front of Eris. Surely he knows that you and Eris are tiptoeing a not so friendly line too.

"The reason why I come around more than the others, it's because your'e different. I haven't met anyone like you and the feelings I have for you are not what I'm used to." he continues.

You nod along, "You have feelings for me?"

"Yes. That's what I'm saying." he agrees.

Your eyes flutter over to Eris, who doesn't look shocked at all. You're a bit confused.

"And you?" you ask him.

He smirks, "I have feelings for you too. A bit different than what he feels, some might say stronger-"

Azriel nudges Eris. The red head lets out a breath.

"But I haven't been forthcoming to you, since we've met." he says.

"about your feelings?" you ask.

"We didn't meet for the first time in this room. We met earlier, when you first got here." Eris answers your question.

You stand from your seat.

"You met me when I got taken?"

"No, after. When you ended up in the autumn court. I took you in." Eris confesses.

"No you didn't, I would remember-" you cut yourself off.

You remember having that conversation with him a while ago. How he has certain powers. Mind tricks. All certain things he can do to person's mind. Especially to a human mind, untrained and fragile.

"You knew your father had me and you did nothing?" you whisper, mostly to yourself.

Eris steps forward but you hold out your hand. The flash of hurt that crosses his face is palpable. You don't like seeing him hurt but after hearing what he just said, and all that comes with it, you can't find it in yourself to stop it.

"I couldn't go against him, I told you that I have plans to remove him." he tries to explain.

You nod sourly, "And why let a silly human girl get in the way of those plans."

"I don't think that." Eris tries to correct you.

But you can't get another question out of your head. You look at Azriel and he's looking at your already. Face stoic. No emotion behind his eyes. He just confessed to having feelings for you but he looks so different right now.

"You knew." you say to him.

He nods once, "I did."

"And you said nothing."

"It wasn't my place-" he starts.

"Oh my god! I can't believe this, I just fell for it. I actually fell for two people who lied to my face every single day. Since I landed here I've been a pawn and I still am."

"You're not-" Eris starts.

"I am! I still am. Why did you even tell me any of this tonight?" you ask out of breath.

Eris looks over at Azriel. The shadowsinger uncrosses his arms from his chest. They both look at you then.

"We think there is a way to send you home."

[zabchan]

I JUST got into hooked wayfinder and wanna know, do you think anything for Maui and Moana’s relationship being romantic be confirmed in the movie?? Or do you think the new male character will be more “intended” to be a potential partner? Honestly I’m not sure what direction Disney is planning to go, but I love your fanfics. I also see there was a ton of stuff that came out in 2016/17 for hooked waydinder ships too, such a shame I’m so late

:D welcome new friend! Realistically I figure we won't get any kind of confirmation in movie for a mxm romance beyond some highly subjective lingering looks- part of it being that moana is so heavily set up as a modern non-romantic princess. And that's not a bad thing! I'm 100% behind representation of well rounded self actualized heroines for whom romance is not a priority. its important for current and future generations to have role models who don't define themselves by their partners or partner-having potential, especially girls of color, who have gotten the short end of the stick for the majority of media history.

i personally ship moana x maui of course, because im a hopeless romantic and bisexual disaster for these two- but if moana never gets a romance it wont make me stop loving her character and story.

The other reason I doubt we'll see much overt romance is that Dwayne Johnson identifies so heavily with Maui that I can't see him comfortable with 19ish year old Moana being his self insert's love interest. especially with him wanting to fully act Maui in the live action. its one thing to voice some slightly suggestive and tender flirtations, its another to stare a teenage co-actor in the eye and not see very nearly your own daughters. of which johnson has 3, the eldest of whom is 20. (ish?)

Disney is not about to piss off The Rock.

I could write another essay on how Dwayne Johnson =/= maui, and while Mr.Johnson is entitled to his interpretation of the character he helped bring to life; I am also allowed to have my own interpretation, especially here, in the pseudo private realm. but I digress.

That's not to say there's not gonna be plenty of shipper fuel! I mean, idk if you've seen my unhinged screaming posts lately but

AHHHHHHHHH THE HUG! THE GAZES! THE MANHANDLING!

i can very easily see big dumb giant hints that at least moana has a crush on maui, and there is CLEARLY affection between them. at least in the promo material, the focus is on moana and maui teaming up again and we barely see her interact with our new storyteller apprentice & maui-fanboy Moni. he does hug her when he joins the crew, and we see Moni as the vehicle for several exposition dumps. I could see a possible romance, they have a shared interest in stories and on the surface he seems like a lovable cinnamon roll. (I'm projecting). i wouldn't hate that outcome. i also see him positioned next to Loni the ship-designer, our other near-moana's-age crewmate, fellow boat enthusiast and possible love interest *eyebrow wiggle*.

i headcanon moana as bi- altho thats not saying much, as i have a bad(?) habit of headcanoning EVERYone as bi

me, pointing at every character i remotely relate to: "youre all

so i can see moana happy with any of the 3 (maui, moni and loto)- or hell, why not all three?

i find it more probable that moni and loto get paired up as side characters, both of them seem enamored with the ideas of ocean-adventures; moni with his stories and loto with her boat designs, but not truly understanding the reality of seafaring. i can imagine actually going out and doing the things for real has quite a learning curve, and there's a built-in bonding experience. They start on a much more equal footing to one another than they do to Moana the chiefly hero, present and future legend.

as to being late to the fandom, heyyyy this is great timing!!! sequel hype is building, and im already feasting on the promo content- the actual movie release is gonna leave me feral for AT LEAST another year. if by November 2025 no one other than you ships moana x maui then I AM DEAD because aint no way they can squash my candle for this. even if the movie turns out shite i'll be there working on a fix it fic (that i will agonize over and probably never finish because of Who I Am As A Person but yeah know. #justadhdthings)

thank you for your kind words about my fanfictions, altho i read that & my brain immediately went "whoops i hope theyre messaging the right person, did they maybe mean to compliment @thehighpriestessofcuddles? or maybe @v8roadworrier?" because whohoo imposter syndrome. #justadhdthings

[kookidough]

random rant about tbp tiktok cause i’m actually Sick of it at this point💆‍♀️💆‍♀️ these issues probably exist Outside of tiktok as well but i only ever see them on there so thats the platform i’m gna talk about

before you read i just wanna say warning for mentions of sa!!!!!

first of all i dont want to jump straight into the serious shit so the unoriginality is actually INSANE like ive been seeing the same jokes since 2022, can we Please get something funnier than “griffin does gymnastics / is a ceiling fan” 😭 the amount of times recently i’ll see a tbp tiktok and then get someone copying the idea and making the Same exact post like 3 scrolls later is insane like Pls can we be original Pls this movie is so sad i need something to laugh at

outside of being totally unoriginal some of the jokes tend to be Really Fucking Disgusting like straight up joking about assault, i shouldn’t even have to explain that thats not funny in the slightest?? this one person made a bunch of really gross ones and kept blocking people who called them out in the comment section, my friend had to dm them Several times and all they did was take down one post, the rest are still up with a ton of views :/ i know its like shock humour or dark humour or whatever but i dont see the ‘funny’ side of a grown man forcing himself onto a child and i think if youre laughing at that you should sit down and ask yourself why you think thats so funny.. people in the comments are always like “i shouldn’t laugh” so they Know its wrong as well which just ugh the whole thing just really gets on my nerves

another thing that gets on my nerves is the lack of media literacy and straight up spreading misinformation, maybe on the media literacy part i’m just a hater but i see so many questions being asked or theories being posed when all of the things mentioned were… literally answered in the movie?? “whats up with finney and gwen’s mother” it’s literally said in the movie that she has the same ability as gwen and she killed herself bc of it, next question, “why was max so interested in finding the missing boys” maybe because he was a coked up conspiracy theorist who saw a serious crime happening in his brother’s area so he decided to be a genuine concerned citizen who wanted these boys to be found💀 “why did the grabber kill max” because he had evidence of the highly awful crimes he’d been committing and was about to let his latest victim free?? the list goes on and on but those r the main ones i see all the time

as for the misinformation. Ough. it annoys me So much this is a hill i will die on😭 i dont know if its people’s half-baked theories or personal headcanons that just got way out of hand but i see so much stuff being spread that just Isnt true, it gets spread so far that when you google these things it appears as true when its not which is annoying !!! i actually was gonna make an entire rant about one theory in particular that pisses me off so bad but i can fit it in here alongside my list of “other theories presented as facts that i Absolutely Despise”

first theory, the one i was gonna make an entire post over, is the theory that vance is the grabber’s son. if i see one more tiktok of those two with that marina and the diamonds song im going to fucking lose it😭 i have no idea where people got this from but its so fucking popular that it comes up on google and i Hate it, i think it comes from the fact that in gwen’s dream sequence, which, might i add, WAS A DREAM, it looks like the police drop vance off outside the grabber’s house and he goes inside there, which… apparently automatically makes them related…?? it takes like one ounce of media literacy to realise that Obviously he’d be getting dropped off at his own house in real life, but as a ghost he’s centred on the place he died and is showing that house to gwen in her dreams, like how every other ghost shows that house to her. awful theory awful take i hate it, if its ur personal headcanon sorry but i do Not fw that

the other theories i have like. not much to say about other than the fact that they’re Not true, i see a lot of stuff about griffin for some reason? the number tends to change but a lot of ppl say “he was kept in the basement for 4 years” like . Huh. where is your proof???? i know the missing posters are insanely unreliable but if you literally read them griffin went missing on april 2nd and billy went missing on may 4th so highly likely griffin was only in the basement for like. a month at most, no idea where ppl are pulling 4 years out of💀 i also see people say griffin has broken legs or a broken back Just because of the first scene where we see him doing a backbend but . if that was the case then he wouldnt be able to stand with the other ghosts when they show gwen the house, i think the backbend was just the position he died in and thats why he first appeared that way to finney but Hey thats just my opinion! last two i have like no rants over but just. firstly people saying robin never made it to the basement for some reason but clearly he did otherwise his ghost would not be down there with the rest of them😭 secondly the theory that vance was kept there the longest “because he’s the most feminine” which. just makes absolutely zero sense to me whatsoever idk whos random headcanon got popularised but i dont like it

okay getting serious again, while this one does not make me angry its like. just really weird to me? i think its common knowledge at this point that both the book and the movie are inspired heavily by the john wayne gacy case, with the grabber literally being inspired by john wayne gacy himself (you Cannot argue with me on this one its literally confirmed and theres a boatload of evidence supporting it). i guess its natural to see people making comparisons between the movie and the case because of the inspiration but i’ve seen Several videos recently of people taking photos of jwg victims and putting them next to tbp characters and saying thats who theyre inspired by and i think thats . Really coming across as insensitive i cant lie😭 we know the grabber was inspired by jwg and its heavily thought that billy was inspired by johnny gosch but theres not much about the others and i think its just really distasteful to compare real life murder victims to fictional horror characters just to get views/likes on tiktok, it comes across as insanely disrespectful to me but idk i havent seen anyone else talking about it so i might just be being sensitive

last thing that really really bothers me is grabber simps. while i do see it on tiktok i see it on here, tumblr, most often and its… so odd to me…. like why are you thirsting over the paedophilic serial killer… so so strange to me… i want to see art and character analysis and silly little posts about all the characters but every time i open the tbp tag i’m jumpscared by someones weird ass grabber x reader oneshot and its SO GROSS get that shit away from me😭😭😭😭 also saw this one girl on tiktok one time whos literal entire account was dedicated to the grabber and she defended this by saying the sa in the movie was “just a theory” which is so victim blamey girl i do not trust you there is so much evidence for it in the movie, again w the media literacy point, just because something isnt directly shown to you doesnt mean it isnt shown in other subtler ways… anyway i get if people like the grabber as a villain but actually like. loving him and thirsting over him is weird as fuck to me

so um ya the fandom is a trainwreck can we go back to there being like 3 of us please and thank u. if you actually read all this then Wow thank you its literally just me being chronically online and ranting about stuff that doesn’t matter in the real world at all

[dropthedemiurge]

Love for Love's Sake | Things You Didn't Notice #9

(okay it's not an episode number this time i just still have many details to point out oops pls let me go)

I swear. I thought I'd stop mentioning small details because I already wrote like 10 posts on Tumblr translating and explaining all the cultural stuff regarding this show and the obsession is already becoming embarrassing, but I rewatched the last episodes again and I've got tiny. Little. Details. That I can't help but point people to once again. Because damn, the amount of thought put into this show!

(trigger warning: first part talks about suicide and depression, next ones are linguistic and cultural)

The Black Suit & The Sea

I would've asked Koreans I know about the significance of such symbolism but they are celebrating Seollal (New Year) today and I don't wanna ruin the festive mood asking about "how would people dress for suicide" x)

But after watching this scene, I recognized some strong parallels in Korean media depicting depression, suicide and one's decision to end their life. One of it is bridges and jumping (if you don't know what Bridge of Life is, ask me and I'll share, so this post wouldn't become too long) but another one is sea.

My interpretation - Koreans wear black suits to funerals, so if someone is headed to the sea in a black suit, it might mean this is the character's attempt to "have" their own funeral before finally ending their life. Why do I think this combination is somehow significant?

Because I remembered a music video one of K-pop artists I like (Kim Hanbin) made, after he experienced the downfall of career, extreme hate and rejection from the public, and severe depression. His whole album Waterfall tells Hanbin's personal story, dark thoughts and his battle to survive during the time when he was gone for 2 years, but in the music video for this album (illa illa) he is seen emerging from the sea in a black suit – metaphorically regaining his music and, most importantly, desire to live. Watch with lyrics!

If we think, this is how you depict suicidal thoughts/attempt in Korean media (of course, Love for Love's Sake was even more blunt in telling us the meaning), then Myungha wearing black suit wasn't just for the pretty or dramatic picture. More than that, we see him wearing the black suit for the whole last evening – especially when he goes to finally meet his mother.

Which tells us Myungha has already decided to disappear from this world, and was determined to do it on that day, and his mother rejecting him and pretending she doesn't know her son might not have been just the last straw... but it definitely could've been Myungha's last attempt to find anything in his life worth staying for, worth not going through with his plan.

Anyway, what a scary but beautiful symbolism.

Let's talk about something happier! More heartwarming!

Do you remember when we talked about the carefully placed movie posters in previous episodes? I payed more attention to the background this time when in Episode 8 Yeowoon ran to the cinema searching for Myungha in his world. And what an amazing discovery! When Myungha starts existing again and calls Yeowoon, the movie poster behind Yeowoon says "Guardian" (보호자).

And I already said in another post that Myungha in previous episodes admitted himself being Yeowoon's "guardian, protector" in the exact same word. But now this word is shown next to Yeowoon! As Yeowoon is the one who changed the main mission and has now declared himself Myungha's guardian and protector and will do his best to make him (his favourite pereson/bias/blorbo) happy. They have now both become guardians for each other. This. Goddamn. Show.

And I also want to shout out the VFX & Production team for this show – all the visual effects are very down to earth, gentle and not over the top but enhancing the series to the max. Like, maybe you wondered where on the screen does it say "Monday, August 14" and "Saturday, August 12"? Well, as expected, you see it on four monitor screens above the box office – the date, the ongoing movies (yep, still our favourite two fake movies) and available dates etc.

But when Yeowoon and Myungha agree to meet each other in the exact system time, they are facing each other without a barrier, and the screens are now counting down the time until the Game End. Instead of normally showing movies, like in the previous shot, it says "Time remaining: 3 hours, 23 minutes, 15 seconds". It was either done with VFX or practically, but still, the thought of incorporating system messages into the actual background is insane and I'm always happy to discover such details.

I don't know how many of you have motivational stairs at your schools, we definitely didn't have this but it's quite a popular thing in Korea. They put popular and uplifting sayings for students on each stair, sometimes they even quote motivational phrases from idols, like this:

And it's interesting that when system gets broken and Myungha is about to disappear, we see the deep cracks coming through the stairs, we see ruined school BUT at the same time the quotes in the show are so obviously in our focus. And they are already written (see screenshots above) in Korean and English, but I'll still write down: one is saying "Stay hungry, stay foolish" and "If you dream it, you can do it, you will succeed". So, perhaps... motivational quotes from sunbae?

And the last moment isn't heavy on translation but I still want to talk about it because cool Korean culture!xD You see the gang grilling meat on the roof (it's called samgyeopsal and it's very popular to have for gatherings), and then Myungha makes a "ssam" and feeds it to Yeowoon – but Sangwon steals it.

Ssam is a wrap, you grill meat then put it on the salad leaf, add other ingredients (like mushrooms, sauces, garlic, green onions etc, there are many side dishes) and then you wrap it in this sort of salad sack and eat it. It's very tasty and unusual combination. But the thing is! There is no way to make it for someone else and leave it on their plate so if you make a ssam wrap for someone and want to give it to a person, you literally have to feed them (like Myungha does with a very fond smile). This is why it's often seen as a romantic gesture (aka feeding someone from your fork etc) and why it's hilarious that Sangwon steals this ssam from Yeowoon (because he wants and he gets Myungha's affection and he's not above being a brat about it!)

I'm sure you can already sense it anyway without me telling you about romantic/close-friend implications, but I thought you guys might wonder why are the guys fighting over the salad leaf.

Another funny thing – Sangwon mentions "There's a saying, 'Don't scold dogs while they eat'". This is a Korean proverb "밥 먹을 때는 개도 안 때린다" ("You don't hit even a dog when it eats") which means that, no matter how annoying you find someone, no matter how angry you are, you can't scold this person while they are eating. Eating is a very important cultural thing in Asia, of course, so do not have arguments at the dinner :D But it's funny how Sangwon uses old proverbs to be mischievous and steal Myungha's love without consequences xD I adore him

I swear, this gotta be my last post about all the details in Love for Love's Sake. There is one more scene with the mirror and a caption, and I'm very curious if it means something because it was seen twice, during system breaking down scene as well, but it's either in Chinese or Japanese and I can't read it.

Anyway! Hope you enjoyed your everyday magazine, I love reading all your tags and thoughts and comments, and if you want to read all my previous translations and pointed out cultural details in Love for Love's Sake, go read this tag!=)

[alpaca-clouds]

Worldbuild Differently: Unthink Money

This week I want to talk a bit about one thing I see in both fantasy and scifi worldbuilding: Certain things about our world that we live in right now are assumed to be natural, and hence just adapted in the fantasy world. With just one tiny problem: They are not natural, and there were more than enough societies historically that avoided those pitfalls.

Another interesting thing were you can see writers struggling to unthink our world is money. No matter what fantasy world we are talking: We almost always see people paying with money, earning money, selling for money. Money, money, money. Everything is all about the money.

Only that until fairly recently money did actually not play such a big role in human history.

I know, I know. "But there were coins found as far back as..." Yes, they were. But we know that even in cultures that had coin, a lot of interactions happened without coins being exchanged. Yes, coins and some form of money often made it easier to trade if you had certain kinds of jobs, but for the most part a lot of people just exchanged stuff. And mind you: Not with bartering. (Read David Graeber's book in "Dept".) They just exchanged stuff and that was the normal way to go about those things.

Unless you have this kinda global capitalism system we have right now... Actually you do not really need money. There are several ways of making worlds work without money.

If you write fantasy set in a medieval setting, your characters might only interact with money if they are nobility (if you wanna keep it realistic). And if you write some sort of utopian science fiction (something like Solarpunk), there is also a good chance that folks just have gotten rid of money.

I am not saying: "Generally, write moneyless worlds." I am more saying: Think about this. Does money make sense in your world? Does it make things easier? And again: Is it logical to be there?

And you will allow me to bring up the maybe most clear example of a world where money does not make sense: Harry Potter. Rowling is not only a TERF, she is also utterly unable to imagine a world that is not run on Thatcher bullshit, no matter how little sense it makes within that world.

See, money in general exists to a good degree because when you exchange goods you are not just paying for the good but also for the work. And in some cases you just need to pay for work as it is. But... Well, in a world where most work actually does get automated with a simple spell... this does make so little sense. Food production is so much more efficient in this world - and most wizards to live in areas with a lot of land around where they can actually harvest their food.

And then there is the fact that quite a lot of stuff can simply be duplicated and changed around with simple spells. Which makes me wonder: What is money in this world even for? Why would this society run on money? Why would this world - that clearly does not really have a working class (aka people artificially kept poor to have workers) - need to keep people poor?

It just does not make any sense. And it is one of the points were one really notices how the worldbuilding does not really work.

Now, mind you: A lot of authors struggle with this. It is not just Rowling. We see the issues in so many other novels and worlds. I would argue that the way how heavily Faerûn relies on coin money also does not make a whole lot of sense, either, though at the very least that world has a bit of the excuse that the money kinda needs to be there for game reasons. But... there is a reason why I ignore it at times especially when writing about the DnD:HAT crew. (I mean, my Tav kinda relies on money, due to being a service worker.)

We tend to just recreate stuff that is normal to us in the worlds we build... But I am actually gonna argue, that a lot of worlds would be a lot more interesting, when we did not do that.

[misskattylashes]

Part two of our EYCTE to OMB and back again essay

Part 2

Resolution

The final parts of the cycle are The Car and One Man Band. The Car is an album of self reflection from Alex, but unlike TBHC where he blames the world around them for their problems, he is taking a long good look at himself. Tracks like I Ain’t Quite Where I Think I Am and Big Ideas deal with fame and the ridiculousness of it. But it is opening track Mirrorball that sets the scene of what the majority of the album is about. Alex is the romantic fool. Miles is the one who used to always cut and run (where’s that insatiable appetite to look them in the eyes and say baby it’s been nice). Sculptures ends with a plea to Miles to be the one to help him come down from being ‘Alex Turner’ (flash that angle grinder smile etc), then onto Jet Skis on the Moat. I am still of the conviction that Jet Skis is a personal in joke between the pair of them. But the rest of the track, to me points to their reconciliation. Miles has admitted to having depression after EYCTE and lines like ‘didn’t recognise you through the smoke, Pyjama pants and a subutteo cloak’, and ‘you know it’s alright if you wanna cry’ indicate someone who has let themselves go a bit (see Doubles on OMB).

Body Paint is the heart of the album. It is Alex’s letter to himself. ‘For a master of deception and subterfuge you’ve made yourself quite the bed to lie in’. In other words, his attempts of leading his double lives have come and bitten him on the bum. It always fascinates me that it is during Body Paint on the tour that the screen behind shows several images of Alex all at once, which I always think represents his many personas.

Hello You makes mention of Electric Warrior (T Rex Album – Miles is a massive fan) and the line about ‘picking your moment along a country lane, the kind where the harmonies feel right at home’ talks very much of two young boys in the French countryside recording their first album. Let’s not forget that during the tour, the Mirrorball only ever came down for Mirrorball, 505 and Hello You….

Then we get Mr Schwartz, I think even non Milexers are pretty aware that Mr Schwartz is autobiographical, even if they just believe it is about the persona that Alex puts on. But on a deeper, Milex level, the opening like put your heavy metal to the test, to me is a play on testing your mettle, to see if someone has the strength to stick something out. The middle eight, ‘having attempted twice both incorrectly, do we get a third try’, I don’t think this is talking about TLSP, I think this is talking about their relationship. It would seem it became romantic during the recording of TAOTU, but the demands of Alex’s fame and need to appear straight got in the way, as well as Miles’ reluctance to commit. EYCTE nearly pulled them apart because their relationship was being played out in public night after night on tour, it became too much and almost broke them. I think the third try relates to today’s Milex. Understated, virtually invisible, played out in private with just their closest friends in the know. To the public Alex is Mr Schwartz with the gorgeous girlfriend and straight image, but it’s all part of the show. The Car is Alex’s grown up album, his realisation that some things are worth waiting for, that he is to blame for the mess his life is in and a plea to Miles to be patient because there may well be a place for dolls like them, if they only bide their time and let Alex do his thing because people are depending on him.

Finally we have One Man Band, Miles’ album of self reflection. It starts with Troubled Son where Miles admits he always runs away before things get too deep. Part of the reason I think Alex let it slide after EYCTE, was he was possibly convinced Miles was going to run away again anyway. Another interesting track is Baggio. In the past Miles has spoken of his childhood heroes and it has often been the Beatles. It was only really last year he opened up about Baggio and the effect him and the 1994 Italian football team had on eight year old Miles. He admitted to finding them sexy, so he is as good as saying his sexual awakening involved men, not women. Which I think is a big admission, as I have said before I think privately young Miles was the one with issues around his sexuality more than Alex.

Then we have The Wonder, which Miles issued a press release saying it was about reflecting on the return of a former lover….’this time it’s never ending, hold back the fear, your touch so ever tempting, I’ll keep you near’ ahem…

Ransom is Miles singing to a lover who has hold of his heart and this time he has run out of money to pay the ransom…in other words he can’t run away now like he has done before. Then finally we have Scared of Love, which is pretty much what it says on the tin. Miles confessing to our unseen lover that he is scared of love and them admitting they are too, but it’s okay.

So, there we have our cycle. It starts with Alex wanting to be one of the strokes – ie wanting to be famous and it has fucked up his life and his most important relationship, and ends with Miles admitting he’s scared of love, so maybe if he’d had a bit more courage he would have held on when Alex cooled down after EYCTE and not let them temporarily fall apart.

Which leads me to my opinion that we’re not going to get TLSP 3 any time soon. I get the feeling that for much of EYCTE their relationship was still in that in-between friends/lovers/not quite knowing what they are even though they loved each other, but after a period apart and a lot of self-reflection their relationship is different, so the stage dynamic would be different too. The sort of mock making out would probably feel awkward to them, and we all know Alex finds it hard to keep away from Miles when he’s nearby (hello Dublin night two), so would we end up with ECYTE part 2, which would be great for us as an audience, but maybe they don’t want the intensity of it to break them apart again.

So with the circle complete, we move forward. Miles has The Evils, and it would appear Alex is working with Tom and Loren on something. It would be great to see The Shadow Puppets together again; but personally I can do without it, if it means for the majority of the time they can be together in peace enjoying the life they deserve. They’ve waited long enough for it.