#i usually try to go for different genres under the demographic

[intomybubble]

Me seeing a recommended post from r/shoujo: just let me recommend mizutama honey boy again…

[thisaintascenereviews]

Jack White - No Name

Many years ago, my buddy and I coined the phrase “guitars and stuff,” because there’s a certain demographic of rock and metal fans that think music with guitars is all that matters (with some exceptions, of course, but there’s usually some nefarious reason for that). If it’s pop, rap, country, or any other kind of music that doesn’t have guitars front and center, these types of fans don’t like it and write it off completely, but most of those fans tend to grow up and realize that there is a lot of great music out there that encompasses so many genres, not just rock. If you limit yourself to one or two genres, that gets boring, but as much as I would use that to describe straightforward rock or metal albums that didn’t do anything but just that, there’s some merit there.

There’s nothing wrong with a solid rock album, even today. A lot of the best “guitars and stuff” albums are from the 1970s and 1980s, which are the two decades where rock music really dominated. Rock music was still around in the 90s and 00s, but under different forms, and other types of music were being pioneered and made popular. Sometimes, though, to make a great album, especially when you haven’t had a great album in a long time, you need to go back to basics. Instead of complicating your sound, just make something that goes hard, which is exactly what Jack White did on his newest album, No Name.

This record was a surprise release, as people got a 12” record with every purchase at his every storefront location of his label, Third Man Records. It was a white record with a white sleeve that just said “no name.” He finally put it out on streaming, and it took me a few days to listen to it, but it’s great. Let me back up for just a second, because Jack White is one of those artists I’m mixed on. I like some of his stuff with The White Stripes, where he made a name for himself in the 00s, but people also know him for his solo career (and a few side projects).

His last few solo albums have been very hit or miss, so I was cautious about this one, but surprisingly, it’s a fun, energetic, bluesy, and loose blues-rock album that brings the noise, riffs, hooks, and blues. It has a couple small issues, but nothing that truly hinders the experience. If you want an album with “guitars and stuff,” you’ll get it. This album is 44 minutes of nonstop guitars, which is both a good thing and bad thing, depending on if you want variety, because that is the biggest issue here. This album is very repetitive, and like the new Home Team album, certain songs stick out more than others and the songs that don’t stick out as much just fade into the background.

With that said, everything here is done well, whether it’s the hooks, White’s vocals, and the riffs. This is a very riff-heavy album, but it’s got a lot of hooks, too. It shows him doing what he does best, along with having fun again, versus trying to make some kind of artistic statement. You don’t always need to do that, just make something you’ll have fun with, and it should be fine. I’ve never been a big Jack White fan, but I can appreciate his catchier and more fun material, such as this album.

This is easily his best album in years, and that’s not just me saying that, it’s unanimous that people are really loving this thing, but I will say that its lack of variety does bring the album down a peg, just because I don’t find myself remembering a lot of songs here. They’re all great, but the album blends together, which can happen with albums in this vein. That’s par for the course with guitar-based music, especially if nothing else is there to break up that sound, but for what it’s worth, this album is still really good. I don’t know if it’s a top album of the year, but it’s a solid record that’s worth hearing if you like rock or blues music.

[hazel-light]

CATCH UP ON CHAPTER ONE HERE

Chapter Two Word Count: ~8,500

Genre: (Wedding) Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers, lots of bed sharing and every self indulgent fluffy trope possible.

Warnings: None? Lots of fluff? Occasional cussing? Some suggestive themes, moments, and jokes I guess. No smut or anything!

Disclaimer: I am not Daniel Sharman, and I do not pretend to know how he would act, speak, etc. This is fiction okay, there’s a lot of creative license, and potential to be OOC. Ricky isn't mentioned because I started writing this before we knew he existed, so apologies for that. Also, if you’re DShar himself, please do us both a favor and don’t read this, okay???? Same if you know him 🙈

Title taken from the song Yellow Lights by Harry Hudson which suits this story quite a bit!

A/N: Thank you to everyone who sent me feedback on the first part! I really appreciate it :) Things pick up quite a bit here.... I hope you all enjoy! The third part will be up tomorrow, as promised. <3

It was finally time to fly back to Massachusetts. I had changed my flight so that Daniel and I could be on the same one and seated together.

It’s ridiculously early when I arrive at his apartment to pick him up in our shared Uber, since we have to account for the time difference on the East Coast. He opens the door to his apartment, looking super cozy and ready for travel, one suitcase behind him and a backpack by the door.

“Today’s the day,” I grin at him.

“Oh shit, is it really?” He feigns, rolling his eyes. “Good thing I packed early, then.”

“You’re a professional traveler by this point, I bet you have it down pat.”

“You would think that, wouldn’t you? I actually put a bit more thought into this trip than I usually do.... I need to make a good impression, and I’m making a lot of first impressions.”

I can’t keep my face from forming an endeared expression. “That’s really cute.”

He puts his hands up bashfully. “I take my roles very seriously, Lauren.”

I shake my head. “Well, it means a lot to me; not only that you’re doing this, but that you’re taking it seriously.”

He shrugs, softening his playful demeanor. “Even if we weren’t together in their eyes, I would care what your family thinks. They’re important to you, so it’s important to me.”

“Dannnnielllll,” I whine, “Please don't make me cry this early in the day.”

He laughs, picking up his luggage. “At this rate you’re not going to survive the weekend. I haven’t even turned on my boyfriend charm yet.”

God help me then, I think, making my way back to the car.

Getting through LAX is fairly easy, and remarkably Daniel successfully flies under the radar. He offers to let me have the window seat, but I let him take it, figuring the farther out of sight from the aisle he is, the better.

Like all flights, I fall asleep as soon as we hit cruising altitude; Daniel has his headphones in and spends the time working on something in a notebook. In what seems like minutes, I’m being gently shaken awake by a smiling Daniel.

“Lovely girlfriend of mine, it’s time to rise and shine. Our relationship starts,” he pretends to check the time, “now.”

“Oh thank you, handsome boyfriend. I’m ready.”

Daniel laughs as we stand and wait to exit the plane. Once we step off and onto the ramp, Daniel offers me his hand. “Ready?”

I lace my fingers through his and try to ignore the flutter in my stomach. “Ready.”

Getting our luggage from baggage claim is fairly painless, which leads us to looking for Ryan and Katharine, his longtime girlfriend, in the airport. They’re picking us up on their way to the hotel on the Cape, where the wedding reception is going to be held, and also where we’re going to be staying.

We walk through the airport hand in hand, as I check my phone yet again to see if Ryan has texted. Nothing. We stop for a moment, and peripherally I hear a girl’s voice from behind us,

“Um excuse me, are you Daniel Sharman? Can I get a photo?”

I glance at Daniel, whose face has gone blank. I move to let go of his hand instinctively but he tightens his grip as we turn around. I laugh when I realize the voice belongs to Katharine, who’s standing in front of Ryan, who is trying his best not to laugh.

“Not funny, you guys,” I say, biting back a grin. “We haven’t been recognized so far.”

I turn back to Daniel, who’s looking at me slightly confused. “Daniel, please meet Ryan and his girlfriend Katharine.”

“Oh,” he laughs, reaching out to shake their hands. “That was good. It’s nice to meet you both.”

Katharine knocks into Ryan, who’s still grinning. “It was this loser’s idea. He said he couldn't do it because you’d recognize his voice too soon.”

“A fair point,” I add, teasing. “Besides, women tend to be Daniel’s main demographic, so.”

Daniel scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“What?” I laugh, “It’s true.”

“I wanted to see if you’d drop her hand in front of a fan,” Ryan challenges. “You passed the test.”

“That’s a stupid test, Ry. I wouldn’t have been offended if he did, since this is our first public outing as a couple.”

Daniel looks at me like I’ve somehow insulted him. “I would never do that to you, Laur. That’s crazy; I wouldn’t try to hide you.”

“Okay, well, I’m just saying.” I look at Ryan expectantly. “Still trying to figure out why you haven’t hugged me yet.”

“It takes two hands to hug, I think,” he taunts, nodding towards where Daniel and I are still holding hands.

I blush. “Can you not be this annoying? We literally just arrived.” I let go of Daniel’s hand and step toward Ryan. Katharine and Daniel watch amusedly as Ryan and I hug, trying to see who can crush the other the most. “I missed you, dummy.”

“I missed you, too. You can let go now. Really.”

I let go of Ryan and narrow my eyes at him. “You’re a brat.”

“Whatever, let’s go.”

I grab the handle of my suitcase, smiling at Daniel, who smiles softly back at me. I glance at his hand and then back at him, and he chuckles softly as he meets me halfway in my attempt to hold his hand again. I blush and look away, turning my attention back to Ryan and Katharine, who are leading us out of the airport to where they’d parked.

---

The car ride to the hotel on the Cape is filled with small talk, mainly questions for Daniel, who takes them in stride. I watch him and smile as he is able to keep up with Ryan’s antics and provide thoughtful answers. He is anything but flustered, and I feel a sense of pride trickle through me. At some point, Daniel catches me watching up with a smile on my face and he just smiles back, continuing his easy conversation with Ryan and Katharine. I jump in where I’m needed, or when I can provide something interesting, but for the most part I bask in how well things seem to be going.

Once we arrive and park at the hotel, the four of us get our luggage and head inside to check in. Ryan gives our name to the woman at the desk and she looks us up.

“Got it. I see the mother of the bride reserved two king rooms on the wedding family floor, which is 3.” I see Ryan glance at us, but I just don’t look at him, I just squeeze Daniel’s hand.

“That sounds right to me.”

Daniel nods next to me. The woman nods and hands us each two key cards. We thank her and head to the elevator for our floor.

Katharine checks her phone. “Do you guys want to get settled and meet back up for dinner? The hotel restaurant has seating out by the beach.”

I look at Daniel who looks at me before shrugging. “Yeah, that sounds great. You want to meet in like 45 minutes?”

The elevator dings and we exit to our floor. Our room is farther down the hall than Ryan and Katharine’s.

“Sure, we’ll head over to your room then.” Ryan smiles before ducking into his room with Katharine.

Once I hear their door click shut, I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

Daniel huffs a laugh at me, stopping to unlock our door.

“You alright?”

“Great. How’re you doing with all this?”

“Good; they’re nice— Ryan is literally exactly what I expected.”

I laugh at that and follow Daniel into the room. I look around and admire the quaint decor. The bed takes up most of the room but there’s a closet and a bureau on the opposite wall, and tall windows that don’t open but overlook the beach below and the sea beyond. Opposite the windows is a wall covered in different paintings and signs— very boho beachy.

I sit on the bed and look at Daniel, who’s already unzipping his luggage to hang up his suit.

“This is cute,” I comment.

“Yeah, it’s nice.”

I bite my nail and watch as he turns around to face the closet.

“I uh, forgot that we’d be sharing a bed. Just didn’t think of it— sorry.”

Daniel laughs and gives me an incredulous look over his shoulder.

“You thought your aunt would book us two beds even though as far as she knows we’re super in love?”

I blush. “Well, no. I just— I don’t know, I didn’t even think about it is all I meant.”

Daniel rolls his eyes. “It doesn’t bother me. I quite appreciate a good cuddle, if I’m honest. Haven’t had one in a while.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Oh?”

“Why— do you hate that? Are you one of those women who like their space?”

I snort. “No, no, we can cuddle. You just surprise me, is all.”

“Surprise you, huh?”

Daniel turns around with a mischievous sparkle in his eye. He takes two strides so he’s standing in front of me, and puts his hands on either side of my face. He leans down so we’re eye to eye and I can’t help but glance briefly at his lips, wondering if he’s going to kiss me again.

“You know,” he says softly, “You should really unpack your dress so it doesn’t wrinkle.” He winks and pulls back, kissing my forehead.

I shake my head even though he’s facing away from me now, hopping off the bed to follow his advice.

“You’re trouble, Sharman. Such a tease.”’

“Sorry?” He looks at me innocently, batting his eyelashes dramatically. “Oh, were you expecting a kiss?”

I feel myself blush as I pull my dress out and walk around him to hang it up.

“I wasn’t expecting anything. Like I said, you’re full of surprises.”

He lowers his voice. “So, you don’t want a kiss?”

I turn around to face him, eyes narrowed, thoughts rushing, but before I can retort there’s a knock on the door.

I turn away promptly to answer the door, grateful for the exit. I hear Daniel chuckle behind me as I open the door to reveal Ryan, who clears his throat.

“Hope I’m not interrupting.” He peers past me, presumably at Daniel. “Katharine called the restaurant to make a reservation and they only had a 6:45, so she said we’d take it. I tried to text you but you didn’t answer.”

“Sorry,” I apologize. “My phone's still in my bag. We were unpacking.”

“That’s fine. Are you guys good to head to dinner, or...?”

I feel an arm wrap around my waist. “Yeah, we’re good. I grabbed your purse, Laur, and I have my wallet and the room key.”

I can feel Ryan watching me so I lean back against Daniel’s chest and look up at him. “Thank you,” I say sweetly, taking my bag from him before turning back to Ryan. “Let’s go.”

—-

Dinner on the beach is lovely. There’s a subtle warm breeze and the food is delicious. The conversation is easy and I can’t help but feel an unusual sense of peace of bringing two of my favorite men together and having them get along so well.

I’m in a reverie when I feel Daniel’s hand lightly squeeze my thigh, bringing me back to reality. I blink, looking across the table at Ryan and Katharine, and try to ignore Daniel smirking next to me.

“Hmm? Sorry, I dazed out there for a minute.”

Katharine laughs. “Totally fine, I was asking how it’s been dating someone who's in the spotlight.”

“Oh, um.” I pause, taking a sip of water. “It’s been fine, you know, since we’ve been so low key about it. The public doesn’t know about us. I imagine it’d be different then.”

Daniel nods. “I think for the most part, the fans would be welcoming, but there are always going to be people who… aren’t.”

Ryan leans on his hand, looking between the two of us. “Isn’t it weird, though? The thought that there are so many girls thinking about getting with your boyfriend constantly?”

“I—” I look at Daniel, who looks mortified, but also curious at how I’ll respond. “I guess I’ve never really thought about it like that.”

Ryan makes a noise of indignation. “You watch his movies and shows and stuff, don’t you?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Of course I do.”

“And it isn’t weird watching him make out with people on screen? Doesn’t it make you jealous?”

I open and close my mouth. I can tell behind his hand Daniel’s smirking, and even Katharine’s looking at me curiously.

“Well, of course I don’t love it— but I mean— it’s his job. There’s nothing I can do about it.”

I look at Daniel, who’s looking at me curiously.

“You never said it made you jealous.”

“I mean—” I shrug, at a loss for words.

He looks at me for a moment before looking away, clearing his throat as we’re interrupted by the waiter bringing our check.

Ryan goes to grab it, but Daniel beats him to it.

“I got it. I said I’d owe you a hundred bucks if you came with a real date, so,” Ryan teases.

I cross my arms. “Oh, and you believe me now?”

“After seeing how jealous you got in that conversation? Yeah.”

I scoff and Daniel and Katharine laugh while Ryan rolls his eyes.

“I’m just playing around, Laur.”

Daniel intervenes, sticking his card in the check holder and placing it at the edge of the table.

“I’ve got it, bro. First meeting and all that; but thank you.”

I look at Daniel. “You don’t have to do that, we all have our own jobs.”

Daniel shrugs. “I know, I just want to.” He places his hand on my thigh again, and leans in to kiss my temple. He whispers against my head. “Let me do this, please?”

“Okay,” I sigh. “Well, thank you.”

“Yes, thank you,” Katharine echoes, smiling.

“My pleasure.”

—-

We’re back in our room, just finished brushing our teeth, when I bring it up again.

“You really didn’t have to pay for dinner you know.”

“I know,” he says. “But I don’t want him giving you money like me coming here was something that had to be bribed, or bought. I came because I wanted to— the details of which Ryan doesn’t need to know.”

I hum in thought.

“Besides, apparently I’m causing you bouts of jealousy, so really it’s the least I can do,” he teases.

I scoff, “Comes with the territory I guess…. along with apparently fighting off swarms of girls who want to jump your bones.”

It’s his turn to roll his eyes, folding down the bed covers, “Do people even use that expression anymore?”

“Doesn’t matter, you know what I mean.”

“And yet, you’re the woman in my bed tonight.”

I laugh, folding down the other side of the bed, “How scandalous.”

“Very. Cuddling is serious business, you know.”

Daniel settles into bed, looking at me where I’m still sat on the edge.

“You coming in?”

“Yeah,” I flush, hesitating.

He extends an arm, and I take the invitation, cuddling up against his chest.

“See, this is nice.”

“I never said it wouldn’t be.”

“I know." He pauses, "Try to relax, I promise this weekend is going to go smoothly, if I have any say in it. Not to sound too cocky, but I’m good at my job.”

I laugh at that, before sighing, “I know you are.”

“Good. Sweet dreams, then.”

“Sweet dreams," I echo, snuggling a little bit closer to him.

—-

When I wake up in the morning, my chest is pressed against Daniel’s shirt, and I feel his fingertips lightly tracing up and down my back.

“Morning,” he hums.

“Good morning,” I answer, shifting slightly. “How long have you been awake?”

Daniel makes a noncommittal noise. “Not sure, didn’t want to risk waking you up to check my phone.”

I look up at him as best I can from my position. “You’ve just been staring at the ceiling this whole time?”

“It hasn’t been that long. Plus I’m resting, and enjoying our cuddle.”

I turn away blushing and snuggle back into him. “You are very warm; makes me not want to get up.”

“Our alarm hasn’t gone off yet—” He’s cut off by the alarm on his phone doing just that. “Nevermind.”

I make no effort to move from my cozy position.

“Come on,” He urges, pulling my hair lightly. “We have to get up and brush our teeth. I have a feeling there’s some kissing in our future, so.”

“Oh? Is there someone you have your eye on?” I tease.

“Just my fake girlfriend. I think I’ll probably need to demonstrate to her family how in love I am.”

“Demonstrate, huh? I’ll tell the children to shield their eyes.”

I feel Daniel’s laugh rumble through his chest, and I grin.

“Come on, we have to get ready and we have to make a good impression!”

I groan, rolling off and away from him. “I’m going to complain the whole time.”

“I’d expect nothing less.”

I don’t have to turn around to know he’s smirking.

Daniel showers first so I can use the bathroom to style my hair and do my makeup once I’m done with mine.

When I’m done, I find Daniel suited and sitting on the edge of the bed, scrolling on his phone. I walk up to him, standing in between his legs, and he looks up at me, taking in my appearance.

“You look beautiful.”

I reach my hand up to smooth his collar. “And you look very handsome; it might be a hard sell for anyone to believe you’re here with me,” I joke.

He shakes his head, smiling softly. He reaches up to take my hand, pulling my wrist up to his lips where he leaves a gentle kiss.

“I don’t think anyone will have any trouble believing that, actually.”

My heart stutters in my chest, and I swallow.

“Are you ready to meet everyone?”

“I am. Are you nervous?”

I look at him for a minute and really think about it.

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “With you, I’m not nervous.”

He smiles. “Good; let’s get going.”

—

As we exit the hotel, we take a right before descending down the stairs to the beach ceremony hand in hand. The sun feels warm on our skin, but the soft breeze keeps it from feeling overbearing. I can feel some family members’ eyes on me as I smile and wave with my free hand, sure I’ll have plenty of time to talk to them after. We pick our seats and I look up at Daniel, who is already smiling down at me. I smile back as he places our clasped hands in my lap, his thumb gently brushing back and forth over my skin.

“It’s a beautiful day to get married,” he states, looking around.

I hum in agreement, wrapping my free hand around his bicep.

“I always wondered about summer weddings— I’d worry that I’d sweat off all my makeup if I was the bride.”

Daniel huffs a laugh. “Yeah. I assume most grooms are sweating buckets before they even reach the reception.”

My eyes wander down to where he has the first few buttons of his shirt undone to accommodate the heat.

“My eyes are up here.”

My eyes flash back up to his, and he smirks. I shake my head and try not to blush at getting caught. He leans down to kiss my temple.

“You’re cute when you blush,” he murmurs against my hair, squeezing my hand.

I turn to him and raise my eyebrow. “Diving right in are we?”

He shrugs and diverts his attention back to the altar.

“Ryan looks so much older in his tux.”

I look to where Ryan stands next to Nick, Rachel’s soon-to-be husband, as one of the groomsmen.

“Sometimes I forget he’s only 18, but then he’s still a baby to me in some ways.”

Daniel shakes his head. “Just imagine, one day we’ll be sitting at his wedding.”

“I can’t even think about that— though, to be fair, he may beat me to getting married. He and Katharine have been dating since they were 13.”

He lets out a low whistle. “True high school sweethearts. Do you think they’ll stay together through college?”

I sigh, looking over at Katharine a few rows ahead with my Aunt Judith. “I hope so, I think they’re a good fit. She’s already part of the family.”

It’s quiet for a moment before something hits me.

“You said we’ll be sitting at Ryan’s wedding.” I tug on Daniel’s arm. “Plan on sticking around?”

“Well, I—” He opens and closes his mouth a few times, not sure of the right response.

I giggle and lean up to kiss his cheek before pulling back just enough to whisper, “You know, you’re really cute when you blush.”

He turns to me before I can pull away entirely, placing a quick kiss on my lips, leaving me blinking up at him.

He smirks. “Touché.”

———

There’s something to be said for attending a wedding with someone.

I’m not sure if I’m emotional because it’s Rachel, my cousin who I’ve grown up with, or the fact that when something particularly romantic happens, I look at Daniel, who will smile and squeeze my hand in solidarity.

We’re both a little teary eyed by the time the ceremony ends. I reach my free hand up to wipe a stray tear from his face. He laughs, embarrassed.

“It’s okay, I’m feeling it too. Easy to feel a little sappy on a day like today.”

“Mmm. Really sets the mood for the start of our relationship.”

I roll my eyes good-naturedly.

“Speaking of…” I trail off, eyeing a few family members approaching over his shoulder.

“Get ready, because introductions start now.”

—-

The members of my family that are introduced seem to welcome Daniel with no hesitations— and far fewer questions than I anticipated. He handles them all smoothly and I’m thankful we discussed some things beforehand. Eventually, we part ways, excusing ourselves with promises to catch up more later.

We don’t get too far before a little girl runs up to us. She can’t be older than 4 or 5.

“Hi,” she giggles. “I’m Marnie.”

Daniel and I share a smile, and I bend down a bit. “Hi Marnie, I’m Lauren, and this is Daniel.” He waves. “Are you here for the wedding too?”

She nods bashfully. “Nick kissed her! Now he’s a husband.”

Daniel laughs. “He is.”

“How do you know Nick?” I ask.

“He’s my cousin,” she says, kicking some sand with her sandals.

“Ahh, the girl he kissed is my cousin Rachel. Now she’s a wife!” I exclaim.

She looks at me curiously. “Is a wife like a mom?”

Before I can answer, we hear someone call her name, and we look up to see a couple around our age standing on the patio about 10 feet away.

“Is that your mom and dad?” Daniel asks.

“Yeah, I gotta go— see you later!”

She dashes off, and we wave at the couple who wave back, calling out an apology.

“It’s fine— she’s super cute!” I smile.

We watch as they head back toward the hotel, and presumably the reception.

We walk along the stone wall lining the patio, watching from a distance as bridal party photos are taken.

I look at him. “Should we take our own photo to celebrate the occasion, and how nice we look?”

Daniel laughs, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Sure.”

He bends down so we can take a selfie, before shaking his head.

“Wait.” He sits on the wall, and pulls me so I’m sitting on his lap. I try to mask my blush as he looks at the phone screen. “Better. More natural angle.”

We take one selfie smiling and another with silly faces.

“Do you two want me to take a photo for you?” A woman passing by asks.

I hesitate, but Daniel’s already handing over his phone. “That would be great, thanks.”

We stay seated with his arm around my waist. And I turn to lean into him, putting my hand on his chest.

We grin and the woman takes a photo.

“Boooo, boring,” Ryan heckles, walking up behind the woman out of nowhere. “Give us something good.”

I roll my eyes, and feel Daniel chuckle.

“Aren’t you supposed to be taking formal photos?” I query.

“I finished.” He shrugs, taking the camera from the woman, who excuses herself. “Now give me something good.”

“Alright Ryan, since you asked so nicely,” Daniel drawls. I feel his hand on my neck tilting my head up. “Give the man what he wants.” He smirks, eyes sparkling, leaning in to kiss me.

I can’t help but grin into the kiss as I hear Ryan quickly change his tune. “Okay gross, this is excessive. I got it, you can stop.”

Eventually we pull away, and I turn to Ryan innocently. “Sorry, were you saying something?”

“I’m starting to regret pushing the whole plus one agenda.” He frowns, handing Daniel back his phone.

“No you aren’t,” I tease.

“I’m going to go find my girlfriend,” he rebuts, stalking off.

Daniel shakes his head. “He’s funny.” Lowering his voice, he says into my ear, “One kiss down, many to go.”

I shove him playfully and slide off his lap, turning back towards the hotel to hide my blush. “If any of those pictures came out good, send them to me, please.”

“Okay, but wait.” He stands and pulls my elbow gently, and as I turn back to him his lips meet mine.

“What was that for?” I ask as we finally pull away.

“Just making sure we found our rhythm.” He shrugs. “Besides, as your boyfriend, I technically don’t need a reason.”

I bite my lip. “Is that so?”

He looks at me innocently. “It goes both ways, you know, these lips are yours for the day.”

I bark a laugh. “That sounds so weird, but, okay, noted.”

He grins, lacing our fingers together and pulling me back toward the hotel and the reception.

—-

Inside the reception, each table seats 6; we’re seated at one of the family tables with Ryan, Katharine, and my Aunt Judith. Aunt Judith is my late grandmother’s sister. She has a sharp tongue and rarely minces words when she speaks, a trait that suited her long career as a lawyer in the city. She’s one of the family members who I’ve been most nervous for Daniel to meet, as I know she’ll be critical and her eagle eye will be looking for weaknesses between us. I’ve seen her do it to Rachel’s boyfriends over the years, and even to Katharine when she and Ryan started dating.

“So, Daniel…” Aunt Judith begins. “Ryan here tells me you had… concerns, about Lauren telling us about you.”

Here comes the interrogation. I glare at Ryan, who shrugs, before looking at Daniel who appears unusually calm.

“Not concerns, really,” he starts, “We were friends for a long time, as you know, and I think we were both just nervous—“ he looks at me, “and trying to take our time in figuring out the transition into being together romantically.”

I nod, “And it was only like a month before I told Ryan. You guys know I tell you everything.”

Aunt Judith watches as the others laugh knowingly, and Daniel grins at me.

“Are you planning to keep your relationship private from the press?” She pushes.

“Well,” Ryan interjects, “At the airport they were holding hands, even when Katharine approached him pretending to be a fangirl.”

I roll my eyes, “That was so unnecessary, you guys. Daniel and I both like our privacy so I wouldn’t say we’re hiding it, but we aren’t flaunting it all over either.”

“I’m definitely not ashamed or trying to hide Lauren, if that’s what you mean.” Daniel jests lightly.

“I should hope not,” she says, looking at him over her glass, as she takes a sip.

Katherine turns to Daniel, “What is it about Lauren that drew you in?”

Ryan snorts, “Yeah, how’d she escape the friendzone?”

I put a hand over my face, embarrassed, which Aunt Judith seems to interpret to mean something else entirely.

“Please tell me you did nothing scandalous, so help me, Lauren….”

“What,” I look at her, “No, of course not, why would you assume that?”

She shrugs and Daniel intervenes, “It wasn’t something sudden… I always knew she was beautiful, and obviously as we became friends I saw how kind and thoughtful she was. Funny too,” he says smirking at me.

“Hmm,” she says taking a sip from her drink again, but I can tell she’s secretly pleased with his answer.

—-

Once dinner is finished I excuse Daniel and I from the table, so I can introduce him to Rachel, her new husband, Nick, and of course my Auntie Kim.

I feel Daniel’s hand squeeze mine and I turn back to look at him, smiling.

“Getting tired of all these introductions yet?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “No, I’m fine.”

“Such a good sport,” I tease, and he rolls his eyes.

We wait for the last people currently talking to Rachel and Nick to clear, and when Rachel sees me she squeals.

“Lauren!”

I laugh, “Hi Rach, congratulations!”

“Thank you,” she beams, looking over at Nick briefly.

“And welcome to the family, officially, Nick.”

He grins and motions behind me, “Who’s this guy you’re towing around?”

“Right,” I blush. “Rachel, Nick, this is my boyfriend Daniel.”

“It’s a pleasure,” Daniel greets, sticking out his hand to shake theirs. Neither Nick or Rachel do a great job of hiding their surprise.

“No offense, Laur, but when Ryan told me you were bringing a boyfriend I thought he was messing with us.” Nick interjects.

I force a grin on my face, feeling Daniel’s hand comfortingly move to my back.

“I’m all too real, I’m afraid.” Daniel interjects. “Sorry to disappoint.”

I lean back into him, and watch as Rachel smacks Nick on the arm.

“No, no, we’re very glad you’re real Daniel. Just surprised is all. Don’t mind Nick.”

Auntie Kim approaches saving us from the awkward encounter.

“This must be the infamous Daniel, who has won our Lauren’s heart.”

I blush, as she moves to hug him.

He smirks, “Well, she’s won mine as well.”

“You two are so cute. We are so thrilled you could come today, Daniel.”

“I was too, it is really great to meet you all after hearing this one talk about you all nonstop.”

The group laughs.

“We are very much looking forward to getting to know you better, hopefully this will be the first of many visits.”

He smiles, “Definitely.”

—

At some point much later in the evening, I lose Daniel. He steps away to use the restroom and I get pulled into conversation with a family friend. I keep my eyes peeled for him but somehow I don’t seem to see him anywhere.

I’m standing by the bar waiting for a drink when I feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist.

“Hi, darling.”

My stomach flutters at the pet name.

“Oh hello, I was wondering where you ran off to.”

His arms tighten around my waist. “I was having a riveting conversation with one of your aunts, actually.”

I turn my head to look at him curiously. “Which one?”

“Aunt Judith,” he smirks, waving the bartender over to order a drink of his own.

“Oh boy,” I laugh. “What did you guys talk about?”

Once he places his order he leans down to whisper in my ear, “She wanted to know if we were using protection, and after that, we went over the unexpected costs of raising children.”

I turn around in his arms, horrified. “No! —She didn’t.”

“Oh yes,” he laughs, grinning. “She did.”

“What did you even say?”

He pretended to think. “I told her, diaper prices are definitely outrageous, and I agree, college costs are inflated beyond belief—” I glare at him. “Oh, and that it was very important to me that we practice safe sex, but, if anything ever did happen, I would be there for you every step of the way.”

“Oh God.” I bury my face into his chest, and he laughs, affectionately stroking my hair. “I’m so sorry, that’s mortifying….”

“I’ve been asked weirder things, just being an actor in LA.”

“Still.” I look up at him. “Your answer was very sweet, though.”

“Well, it’s the truth. I’ll always be there for you— fake pregnancies and all.”

We’re staring at each other now, his fingers still running through my hair, his other hand on my lower back. Time seems to slow down and my eyes flicker to his mouth, his words from earlier echoing in my head. It goes both ways. Before I can talk myself out of it, I reach up to kiss him, because it feels right.

“You’re the best fake boyfriend, you know that?” I murmur against his mouth.

He pulls me closer to him, brushing his nose against mine. “I might need another kiss to convince me.”

The bartender behind us clears his throat. “Excuse me, sir, ma’am? Your drinks?”

We break apart, and as our moment ends I try to quell the butterflies in my tummy.

Daniel smiles politely at the bartender, passing me my drink before taking his glass in one hand and my hand in the other.

We make our way back to our now vacant table. He lets go of my hand to pull his chair closer to mine as we sit down, draping his arm over the back of my chair. I lean into him as we sip our drinks, people-watching the other tables and the crowd on the dance floor. I feel his fingers start drawing shapes on my shoulder, causing me to look up at him.

“Are you having a good time?” he asks.

“I am, largely thanks to you. Are you having a good time?”

“I am; everyone has been really welcoming. It’s nice to meet the people you’ve told me about, and hear the stories everyone has to tell me about you. There have been some good ones, I have to say…”

I roll my eyes, smiling. “I’m sure.”

“The only way it could be better would be if they had baby pictures.”

“Listen, I’ll be the first to say I peaked in preschool. I was much cuter then, I peaked—” Daniel laughs. “I’ll get some and show you. You’ll be so disappointed this is how I’ve turned out.”

“No, I don’t think so. I mean I bet you were cute but, I couldn’t be disappointed.”

I shake my head, blushing. “Don’t be so sure— you haven’t seen them yet.”

“I am sure…. I’m looking at you right now.”

I start to smile despite myself. “Oooooh, that was smooth, Sharman.”

“No, no, no," he protests, smirking, "it’s easy when you tell the truth.”

“Have you always been this cheesy, or is this a boyfriend exclusive privilege I’ve unlocked?”

“You know—” He’s interrupted as the little girl from earlier runs up to us.

“Hi,” she says bashfully.

I smile, “Hi Marnie,”

She turns to Daniel and taps twice on his knee. “Can I sit?”

Daniel looks at me, and then around the room. Marnie’s parents are nowhere in sight.

“Sure, angel. Where are your mom and dad?”

She shrugs before he lifts her into his lap. The three of us smile at each other as Marnie gets shy. She leans up to whisper in Daniel’s ear, cupping both of her tiny hands around his ear. I can’t hear what she’s saying but I watch as Daniel’s eyes twinkle in amusement.

“Not yet,” he answers to whatever she asked, and she giggles before whispering again, and he laughs. “Mhm, I do.”

Marnie pulls back and looks at him with amazement, whispering even more excitedly. This time he pauses before smiling at me, before turning back to her.

“What do you think?” She looks at me quickly before back at him, nodding shyly. He nods along with her, before leaning in and whispering in her head with his hands cupped secretly like hers had been. Marnie is absolutely beaming now. It’s easy to see how smitten she is with him.

Curiosity gets the best of me. “Do I get to know a secret, too?” I ask, teasingly.

She looks unsure before Daniel swoops in playfully. “Nope, these secrets are for me and Marnie only.”

“Darn it.” I sigh dramatically.

The music changes to something Marnie clearly recognizes as her face lights up, as she tugs on Daniel’s sleeve. “Can we dance? Me and you?”

Daniel looks at me. “Will you be okay here?”

“Absolutely, I’ll be watching.”

He puts his drink on the table as I pick mine up to take a sip, watching as her tiny hand fits in his and she drags him out to dance. The two of them are so cute and my heart feels like it’s going to burst.

Ryan slides into Daniel’s seat a minute later.

“You know, if you and Daniel had a daughter, she’d probably look just like Marnie.”

I glance at him, realizing he’s right. Dark brown curls and bright blue eyes, with a toothy smile and a loud laugh.

“Don’t let my ovaries hear you. I’m not having any children until I have two rings on this finger,” I say, waggling my left hand at him.

Ryan laughs and we watch as Daniel is so good with Marnie, letting her swing his arms around and move them to the beat.

“I like him,” Ryan says definitively.

I look at him, surprised. “Wow, I mean I obviously like him too, I just thought you’d be more skeptical.”

“I did too until I saw you guys together. I just…” He looks emotional all of a sudden. “Shit.”

I laugh softly. ��It’s okay, Ry, it’s an emotional day.” I rub his shoulder as he pinches his eyes.

I see Daniel glance over, concerned, but I give him a thumbs up. He nods and goes back to spinning Marnie around.

“I just...” I turn back to Ryan as he speaks, giving him my full attention. “I can see that he loves you— really loves you. It’s all I ever wanted for you.”

I feel my heart squish uncomfortably in my chest. I feel guilty that my cousin is so happy for me, so proud and vulnerable over a relationship that’s just for show. I swallow.

“Me too, I— thank you, Ryan. I love you, so much.”

The song changes again into something slow and I watch Marnie shriek, horrified, before running off into the crowd. Daniel looks after her, humored, before looking at me, gesturing with his head that I come join him. Ryan must see it too because he kisses my temple.

“I love you, too. Go get your man; I should find Katharine.”

Like I’m in a trance, I don’t take my eyes off Daniel as I approach. He smiles and reaches his hands out for me, lacing our fingers together.

“May I have this dance?”

“You may, I was getting a little jealous over there.”

He drops one of my hands to wrap it around my waist, and I bring mine around his neck as we begin to sway, staying close together.

He chuckles. “Well, don’t be, I think everyone here knows who I’m going home with.”

“Yeah, you’re stuck with me.”

He smiles softly but doesn’t answer. I feel my eyes flutter shut as he moves closer pressing his lips to mine gently, tenderly. I kiss him back and for a second I swear I feel it— that all-encompassing love Ryan says he sees between us. When we pull apart, he keeps his head dipped down, pressing his cheek to mine for the remainder of the song. I close my eyes and nuzzle into him, letting myself pretend this is real, just for another moment.

Eventually I break our silence.

“Hey, what did Marnie ask you?”

“Hmm?” He murmurs, the sound vibrating against my cheek.

“During your super secret whisper time.”

“Oh,” he laughs breathily. “She wanted to know if we were married.”

“Ahhh,” I chuckle. “I see. What else did she want to know?”

He pauses as the song starts to fade out and our swaying slows down. “I don’t know if I can tell you that. Some secrets need to stay secret, after all.”

While it was clearly meant to be a joke, he says it a bit too seriously, so I drop it and smile tightly as we pull apart.

“Okay.”

He tugs my hand playfully. “Nothing bad, I promise.”

I make a face at him. “Well, I guess I’ll never know.”

He laughs. “You’ll just have to take my word for it.”

—-

A little while later, we’re watching Rachel and Nick leave for their honeymoon as the wedding party begins to disperse.

“I suppose we should say our goodbyes,” I say, tearing my eyes away as their car drives off.

I hug my Auntie Kim goodbye and tell her I’ll see her at Christmas. She fawns over Daniel, telling him to watch over me, and how happy she is to have gotten to meet him. It makes me smile to see how well he gets on with her. It’s hardest to say goodbye to Ryan. I hug him fiercely, and he returns the hug just as vigorously.

“I wish I could take you back with me.”

“I know.”

“We need to FaceTime more.”

“We will.”

When I step back, Ryan and Daniel go to shake hands, and I see Aunt Judith sitting at the bar by herself. I excuse myself as they chat and take the seat next to her.

“Aunt Judith, I’m afraid I leave again tomorrow.”

She turns toward me, swirling the scotch in her glass. She disregards what I’ve said and instead looks past me into the crowd.

“Where’s that man of yours?”

“He’s saying goodbye to Ryan at the moment.”

She hums.

“What?” I ask.

“He’s a looker.”

I chuckle. “So I’ve been told.”

“I think he could be husband material though. Not as dense as men usually are.”

I suppress a smile. “Huh, I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you.” I give her a kiss on the cheek goodbye, walking over to rejoin Daniel who seems to be finishing a serious chat with Ryan as I approach. As I join his side, Ryan shakes his hand one last time before walking away. Daniel glances at me, placing a hand on my back, looking back towards Aunt Judith at the bar.

“Should I go say goodbye to her?”

“I think you’re alright.”

Aunt Judith waves at us, and Daniel waves back.

”Was everything okay with Ryan?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah; just talking.” He shifts, interlacing our hands. “Ready to go back to our room?”

I nod and we head towards the elevators, hands swinging between us. While we wait, I subconsciously start swaying to the soft music playing from the hallway speakers. Daniel glances at me smirking, and I look up at him giggling, “What?”

“Nothing. You want to spin, like Marnie?” He teases, lifting our joined hands. I spin twice before bumping into his chest, giggling more. “Ooops.”

He shakes his head at me as the elevator doors open. He wraps both his arms around me, walking me backward into the elevator and I laugh into his tie. I turn around so we’re both facing the doors as he reaches around me to press the button for our floor. The mirrored doors slide closed and I meet his eyes in the reflection. We’re both grinning.

“You’re absolutely ridiculous,” he taunts, and I stick my tongue out in the reflection. His arms tighten around me and I press backwards into his chest.

—-

Back at the room, we start to get ready for bed. We share the bathroom to brush our teeth and do our nighttime routines, playfully brushing and bumping into each other. I drag my feet, trying to make the evening last as long as possible, trying to stretch out this daydream I’m living in before we have to go home tomorrow.

I get into bed first, lying on my back and watching as Daniel pads across the room to his side of the bed. He shuts off the overhead light as he passes, leaving only the soft blue moonlight from the window covering us.

He climbs into bed next to me but stays propped up on his elbow. I look at him and he begins tracing my face with his other hand. I crinkle my nose at him, and laugh softly.

“What’re you doing?”

“Waiting.”

“For what?”

He gestures behind me to a decorative sign on the wall.

I turn my head to look at it. “I can’t read that without my contacts.”

His fingers trace over my lips, and I hold my breath at the intimate gesture.

His voice drops even softer. “It says always kiss me goodnight. So I’m waiting.”

I look back at him, expecting him to crack a joke, but he doesn’t; his eyes are sincere. I run the arm closest to him up behind his neck, catching my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. He takes the hint, letting my touch guide him as he leans down and kisses me.

The kiss is sleepy, soft, lips tenderly pressed together, moving slowly against each other. It ends with a few gentle kisses that drift from my mouth to my cheek, up to my forehead. His gaze is already fixed on me when my eyes flutter back open.

I start to think about how final that kiss felt, how this is the end of our weekend of pretend; how it doesn’t make any sense that we’re kissing when no one’s here to see us, but maybe we’re both lonely and already missing the comfort, the closeness of this façade. I run my hand up from the nape of his neck to scratch gently at his scalp and his eyes flutter shut, finally breaking our eye contact.

“That feels nice,” he whispers. Wordlessly, we shift so his head is on my chest, his arm around my waist, my nails still soothingly sifting through his hair, quietly lulling him to sleep.

---

tagged: @rogershoe @heyrowena @yunsh-17

[mvdipetsch]

hi Luna! I was wondering if you had any advice for someone starting a group rp? I've been doing rp on tumblr for about 12 years but I took a break from 2016-2021 and have no idea what's going on now. Thank you!

Hey darl! I’m going to try and advise you as much as I can, but I do not currently run any groups, so this is from more of an outsider perspective. However, if any current group owners/admins want to jump in, please feel free!      The first step is research. I’m presuming that you know what type of roleplay you want to create, so check out other roleplays that are within a similar category. This helps in letting you be different, and you can pick up some great tips! This is not copying, but simply research. Are admin mascots not for you? Is there an oversaturation of your specific genre, but not for the niche you plan to use?       Join a roleplay! It doesn’t have to be one that belongs to the same family of roleplays that you wish to create, but make sure it’s one that you at least have an interest in. The best way to know what will work for your players is to be one yourself. A lot of roleplays have mandatory OOC discords nowadays. If you’re not very familiar with Discord, it’s a great way to get yourself acquainted (and/or consider bringing another party to the admin team!) I also recommend anything in Nic’s tag (here) about discord, or just shooting Nic a message! I promise, she’ll be kind.       Ask for advice! I realise that’s what you’ve come to me for, but when your roleplay is created and truly on its way, feel free to message friends you have in the rpc, or roleplay help blogs for thoughts and opinions. It doesn’t have to be a full review, but it might help you get a perspective on what does and doesn’t work.       Things you may not know. I wanted to include some tidbits I’ve learned from my recent return to the rpc, things that’ve changed recently that you may not be aware of. Of course, this is only my perspective, and not a reflection of the rpc as a whole.       - Shoutouts are a thing of the past. I think I see one shoutout every 2-3 days nowadays. Asking rph’s for shoutouts doesn’t really happen anymore.       - GIF icons are kind of out? I see them, but I see more rectangular gifs (like the one’s I’m using!) used both in rps and created by the community. GIF icons do still exist, and are available, but it feels like everyone’s certainly reverted.       - Twitter rps either die, or become a drama breeding ground. Nothing new there really.       - OOC blogs are out, OOC discord is in. And they usually have sections for all sorts. Pets, musings, pinterest boards, plotting calls. Discord isn’t for everyone, which I get, but it’s a great tool for promoting connections with rpers.       - Promo blogs are back! Promos with a graphic, usually created about one week before a roleplay’s drop, are back in. It’s great having a side blog for promos, cause you just post on that a handful of times a day, with your graphic and links to the main, and then your actual roleplay blog is free for answering questions, posting skeletons, posting follows, etc. It means potential players, and current players, don’t scroll through nonsense to get to any content!       - Skeleton rps have made a comeback. Most LSRPs nowadays seem to be skeleton rps, but that doesn’t mean that all LSRP must be skeleton, or visa versa.       - Under 21 for muses is incredibly rare nowadays. Muns tend to have to be 18+ (though I’ve seen 21+!) but muses under twenty-one is not happening. Unless it’s a specific rp type that caters to that demographic (i.e. college rps)       - The banned lists are mighty, but very accessible. I recommend using Elly’s list (here) of who she won’t GIF, as it is pretty comprehensive and has links at the bottom for other lists of problematic FCs, with links of why they’re problematic.       - Activity has calmed down again!!! Gone are the 2/3 day rules. We’re all about 7+ nowadays baby!!  I really hope I was able to offer you some semblance of assistance and if you’ve anymore questions, please just shoot me another message!

[isshuns]

the progression of things - discarded scenes

this is a dump post for scenes that were in the original draft, but never made it to final version of the fic. they bear no connection to the final version of "the progression of things”, but i liked them enough that i couldn’t bear just deleting these scenes (TPOT underwent a lot of editing and rewrites) ;_; they were part of the original premise where I wrote Miyano as ace/demisexual, but in the end it didn’t work out ;_;

click on the “read more” link if you’d like to read them, but take note, they’re were part of the rough draft, hence are extremely unpolished. 

Miyano remembers being fifteen, his school bag heavy on his shoulders, but his heart heavier in his chest. Every day he looks at the mirror in his bathroom and wonders why he was cursed with such feminine features, a smaller build than the rest of the boys in his school; everything on his face seemed wrong as though nature forgot to switch its genetic code back to “MASCULINE, MALE” when constructing his face.

He couldn’t blame his parents, they never had any say in what he’d look like when he was born, and his mother would be heartbroken to hear that her son, bearing such resemblance to her looks, actually hated his own.

But as slightly estranged as he was from his middle school classmates when his looks came up as a topic of conversation, Miyano still heard Things whispered amongst his peers, seen Things even, when his classmates included him in their weekly get-together to ogle at printed materials meant for a demographic way beyond their age.

In the flush of youth, where the boys in his class pondered over their body anatomy, fascinated with nature, and looked to adult magazines (stolen from their older sibling’s stash) for enjoyment, Miyano pondered over the harsh reality of his feminine features, upset but resigned with nature, and looked to fashion magazines (taken with permission from his mother’s collection) for pointers on how Not to appear even more like a girl.

(His father’s copies of Business Weekly helped a little too, even if only to remind Miyano how top businessmen in the country dressed for a business photoshoot with the press – suit, tie and expensive watch peeking from the cuffs.)

When the passage of time came and went and Miyano entered high school, he discovered the world of Boys Love manga and dedicated his free time to understanding the intricacies of this fascinating genre. Being a minor, the type of print he could obtain were fairly sweet and innocent, nothing too explicit save for some scenes that took place on a bed, the protagonists’ modesty preserved with a flimsily drawn blanket over their nude bodies.

Occasionally, a book or two with explicit content would make their way to his collection. The internet was also a place full of wonders and possibility, and once or twice Miyano would (secretly) look up the famous series promised with rave reviews, but somehow, Porn Without Plot never really stuck to his repertoire.

Even after becoming of age, Miyano still finds himself gravitating towards the safety that comes with the PG-13 books. There is a strange sort of comfort in consuming fiction that depicts love as something simple and uncomplicated, straightforward and representation that love– intimacy did not necessarily come hand in hand with sexual acts. Intimacy could exist with or without sexual acts and vice versa, whatever floats your boat, really.

For Miyano, it was always the build up leading to that ultimate confession scene (at the rooftop, under the cherry blossom tree by the school yard, the back of the school gym, endless options) that grabbed him by the feels and punted him into the sun. That’s where the highlight is!! He once told Sasaki, unable to hold back on his excitement that twinkled in his eyes.

And identifying all the event flags leading up to that very moment of their first kiss? Unparalleled. Truly the best of all scenes there is. Peak romance. The bedroom scenes (few and rare in his possession) are really just a bonus.

So, while his peers continued to chat about going through the motions in bed, the closest miyano could ever try to relate to during those conversations was the intimacy that came along with the idea of sexual intercourse.

-------------------------------------

The moment Miyano is done with the last of his midterms and bids his notes goodbye (for now), Sasaki magically appears beside him and whisks him away to the nearby izakaya for a celebratory dinner.

“For getting through the first midterm week of your life~” His giant baby boyfriend coos, ever so sweet like the cakes he bakes.

Miyano pretends to be exasperated, shoulders dramatically slumping over the sticky izakaya table, but his heart knows better. It’s been one month since he’s started college (the one Sasaki also so happens to attend, not a coincidence at all), and the privilege of having more time to spend with one another makes Miyano giddy with happiness.

Gone are the days Miyano can only meet his favourite senpai for a handful of hours after club activities until the reality of their courseload slaps them in the face; gone are the days they have to rely on telephone calls and text messages, where the minutes and seconds flashing across the screen serve as an unforgiving reminder of the time they have left before they have to part ways.

It’s all gone now. Sasaki sits before him, in the flesh, and Miyano has always felt that seeing Sasaki’s smile in person would always be different from seeing it on screen. The grainy pixels on his phone can never do those handsome features justice, nor can it the warmth blooming behind his breastbone whenever Sasaki threads their fingers together and walks him all the way back to his dorm.

The freshmen all share a common dormitory block separate from the rest of the college students, something about building connections and getting to know each other better, so Sasaki insists on walking Miyano back to his room before he makes the trek all the way back to his own. The night is young, the dorms are peacefully quiet, and everyone is probably still out in town having a good time.

---------------------------

Loathe as he is to do so, Miyano makes the executive decision to drop by the bookstore one afternoon to try and consult a few adult BL manga. It’s the worst idea he could ever come up with, he hates comparing his own relationship to silly BL manga tropes, but nothing short of an apocalypse would push him to ask the people around him whether it’s normal to… not think about sex in a romantic relationship. While the internet is a wondrous place full of answers and possibilities, Miyano figures it probably wouldn’t hurt to take a peek at how society tackles his questions through the lens of BL manga.

Hurriedly, just before his date with Sasaki, he randomly picks up one of the highly rated R-18 series, heads over to the payment counter quickly, and bolts out of the store the moment the cashier bags his purchases. He makes sure to stuff the damned volumes deep beneath his bag, out of sight, before he heads over to the café to meet Sasaki for lunch.

And when he’s finally back in his own dorm later that night, his roommate blissfully unaware and asleep, Miyano retrieves the book from his bag, cautiously peels away the plastic wrap before he settles down for the night to take notes.

His efforts are all for naught. Halfway through the series – one Junjou Romantica –, it takes Miyano all but 3 volumes before he calls it quits and and promptly closes the book. Guess there’s no way he can redeem his money now, unless Sasaki is into dubcon…? Well, that’s a thought for future Miyano to ponder on. Current Miyano just wants to sleep and wash the images out of his mind with bleach.

-------------------------------

he has no care for sex, but nothing compares to the tender happiness that comes along with partaking in something sasaki enjoys and yearns for. sasaki’s language of love has always been touch and spending time partaking in activities of common interest.

today, sasaki has picked a soothing lo-fi playlist as their background music. they’re seated on the bed, warmly nestled against each other as they browse through their respective manga

his eyes may be on inked pages, but his heart is long gone. he discreetly observes his boyfriend, the curve of his jaw, long lashes almost curling against the high of his cheekbones as his honey-gold eyes flit across pages and pages of content.

the fingers flipping through each page is steady, long, and miyano suddenly wonders how it would feel to have them splayed across his body, touching him in places his own hands have never ventured before.

“what’s wrong, myaa-chan?” sasaki smiles at him, eyes impossibly fond and kind.

well, fuck it, there’s no going back now.

“senpai, what do you think… about… BL with explicit content?”

sasaki blinks. miyano tampers down the urge to kiss those parted lips.

“you mean books with sex scenes in them?”

“yeah.”

“oh.” sasaki turns away, the hand that’s not rested on miyano’s shoulder has found a place on top of sasaki’s mouth. he’s embarrassed, miyano realizes, and somehow that makes him feel ten times more endearing than usual.

sensing that this was a topic his boyfriend wasn’t going to let go any time soon, sasaki clears his throat and returns miyano’s gaze head on.

“i’m fine with it. why do you ask?”

“i… well.” while miyano struggles for words, sasaki hand starts moving up and down his arm, soothing him.

“are you starting to read rated manga? it’s normal, at least, ogasawara’s girlfriend says so. so there’s no need to be shy, myaa-chan! if you want to recommend any, you know I’ll read anything you lend me. no judgment here.”

it should have been reassuring, but the thought that ogasawara’s girlfriend discussed with sasaki about explicit BL manga like it’s the fucking weather has miyano choking on his spit. what the actual fuck.

do people actually talk about these things? is miyano the abnormal one instead for never entertaining the thought of doing things with his significant other?! has he been missing out on some code of relationship couples ought to follow?! the BL mangas he read never said so!

“myaa-chan? are you okay?”

“you- you talk with ogasawara senpai about these things?”

sasaki’s cheeks colour a lovely shade of red. from his looks, he’s starting to catch up with where miyano wants the conversation to go. that’s a relief, because miyano honestly doesn’t know how to tactfully broach the topic without sounding like a dumb dumb about these things.

“yeah, i do.” sasaki admits, “but only once or twice, because ogasawara needed to vent about things. sorry, does that weird you out? i can stop. i don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“no, no, it’s fine. totally fine, senpai.” it must be a common boys topic that somehow eluded miyano and friends during high school. at this point, miyano’s face must be burning with the hot flames of embarrassment and shame, he’s pretty sure sasaki’s fingers can feel the heat all the way from where they are, stroking his cheek absently.

“what brought this on, if you don’t mind me asking?” sasaki asks a moment later, when the weight of silence in the room gets a little too much to bear.

“just… some friends talking about it the other day.”

“friends.”

“yeah… fine, classmates.”

“are you… thinking about it?”

at miyano’s surprised expression, sasaki backtracks immediately.

“forget i asked.”

“to be honest, i don’t know what to feel about it.”

“it’s okay, we don’t have to do what you don’t want to do.”

it’s so painfully awkward yet endearing at the same time.

“do you think about it, senpai? about us… doing those things?”

sasaki’s lack of an answer is extremely telling. the shade of red coloring his cheeks is probably bright enough to rival miyano’s own face.

“does it matter? i am happy with doing whatever myaa-chan wants to do.” sasaki finally says, but his eyes have shied away from miyano’s gaze, and something within miyano snaps.

“of course it matters. it’s you, sasaki-senpai. i want you to be happy too. i want to do things that you want to do too.”

something akin to hope blooms across sasaki’s eyes (surprisingly moist).

“thank you, myaa-chan. that thought alone makes me happy enough. let’s leave it here for now and let things progress as they naturally would, how about that? we don’t need to rush into anything. i’m really happy with where we are now.”

he knows that sasaki has caught on to his sexual orientation, no doubt. it’s been a year since he became of age, and yet the BL manga he still buys have never ventured into the explicit genre. briefly, he wonders if sasaki actually keeps his own stash of porn somewhere below his bed, like normal boys would do.

they aren’t in high school anymore. it’s been years, and yet until this point, the thought of doing something more than kissing and cuddling has never crossed miyano’s mind. he wants to cry at how respectful his boyfriend has been all this while.

“myaa-chan? myaa-chan? oh no, yoshikazu, don’t cry. i’m sorry if i said something wrong-”

oh fuck.

miyano has always been uncomfortable with displays of affection and attention, preferring to bask in the comforting arms of his daydreams and fantasies, but his love for sasaki burns greater and he will do anything he can to ensure that sasaki receives equal, if not more, affection and care than the amount his boyfriend showers him in.

scene ends with sasaki hugging miyano tightly, reassuring him and planting a kiss at the side of miyano’s temple. but it does nothing to seep away the frustration gnawing at his bones.

END

[sn0tcl0wn]

age gap romance flicks are usually iffy at best and horrible at worst with a few good ones in between and usually they're about an 18 year old dating an older person but way too often there are movies about adults dating minors and it bothers me for the obvious reasons but what gets to me the how the fanbase is usually more adults than minors. and like no i dont want minors consuming that shit but like many people as a kid i personally had fantasies about a hot older person falling for me and having a forbidden romance with me. it's a silly teenage fantasy that shouldn't come true but isn't inherently harmful to have as a kid because of course you're gonna be attracted to adults in your teens, it's normal and healthy to be attracted to adults and fine to even prefer them over your less matured and still growing peers.

what obviously isn't okay is dating them but even that isn't on the teenager because they literally do not know better outside of it being illegal. they don't usually get why or want to get why when they're caught up in their hormonal adolescent emotions. but unfortunately the people making this age gap shit and the main demographic for it are not minors getting catharsis. it's adults. grown ass adults in their grown ass ages are the ones most excited for these things to come out. they're the ones recommending this shit, sometimes even to minors, thinking it's good stuff and entertainment that normal people would want to consume. and it just really fucking gets to me that there are so many age gap romances like that with fanbases consisting mostly of adult women who think it's enjoyable to see and read these things play out.

and even if it does end sad or there's some kind of moment of clarity, it doesn't erase the good cinematography/acting/writng/love scenes/general aesthetic which those people relate to. like seeing a grown ass woman hyped for a movie where a woman in her age group grooms a kid ten years her junior is deeply disturbing to me but what gets me even more is knowing how many others out there are like her and how quick she and many of them are and will be to snap at anyone questioning the morality and validity of using such a concept for a quarter life crisis genre dramcom. like is that what your quarter life crises are doing to you? can't relate you sick fucks, get help and grow the fuck up if you think that does anything for you other than make you look like a creepy emotionally stunted weirdo just like all the older dudes trying to fuck younger chicks. you're honestly worse than those guys because i truly believe that women should fucking know better considering how vigilant and aware of predators girlhood makes you.

it's not just a moral failure, it honestly feels like betrayal when women do that shit. like women of all people spent their teens dealing with those exact types of men hurting them and their friends so to see women excited to see the roles reversed and not feeling the amount of discomfort i know they would if it mirrored their experiences shows that they don't actually care about these things, they just cared when there was a possibility it would happen to them. and i just KNOW a lot of these sick fucks are gonna whine about how "it's ~different~" somehow when the discourse gets heated. and it's fuckin gonna.

you can't just make movies like that anymore no matter how much you try to demonize the older character in the text, there's been a serious rise in people coming out against and about being groomed and this sudden public awareness means a movie like that is gonna be heavily scrutinized and discussed in a manner that ties back to the real life issue at hand. maybe you could have gone under the radar with this ten or so years ago but you cannot make or enjoy a film like that without being put under the microscope and treated like a potential perpetrator by the majority. people stopped taking chances these past couple of years and backlogs of abuse done by public going back three decades are coming out of the woodwork every day with people being quicker to take the sides of victims. if aren't an abuser but still like that shit people aren't gonna just trust you unless they're in the same boat as you and enjoy that kind of gross shit, literal children, or actual predators thinking you're one of them and that is not a good look for you. people will drag it up in arguments and always treat you like a possible abuser to be weary of. you literally cannot make or enjoy that shit anymore and tbh i don't even know why you would with everything that's come out regarding that kind of abuse and relationship toxicity.

[leannetalksanime]

Shōnen Anime Through The Feminist Lens

During quarantine, there has been a significant rise in the popularity of Anime; this wave of new fans brought back memories of when I first started exploring anime and how I came to love this media. Anime is a confusing word: In the western world, anime a separate genre of animated shows and movies from the typical western cartoons (ie. SpongeBob, Tom and Jerry, etc.) while in Japan, it refers to any animation in general. But for the sake of simplicity, I will refer to anime as a type of animated show or movie that uses signature aspects of Japanese-style animation.

Usually, a person is recommended mainstream shows from the shōnen genre when introduced to anime. Shōnen anime and manga are marketed towards boys between the ages of 12-18, but a lot of people outside of that demographic enjoy this genre as well. I find myself watching and recommending shōnen shows because of how exceptionally written the plot, the character development, and worldbuilding are. However, problems with female representation stem from the misconception that shōnen is only for boys or that girls don’t enjoy these types of stories. It is frustrating to see how little action and development female characters are given compared to their male counterparts and how often they are sexualized for the sake of comedic relief or fan service. 

NARUTO and NARUTO SHIPPUDEN

The Naruto series follows the journey of Naruto Uzumaki as he achieves his dreams to be acknowledged by the village he lives in and become the Hokage (the leader of the village). It’s a story about saving the world, protecting your loved ones, and believing in yourself.

Almost every person who has watched more than 3 years of anime has seen Naruto; those who haven’t still can recognize characters, references, and general plot points. Yes, it is THAT popular. I knew about the show but, I put off this anime for so long because of the silly reason that Naruto was an annoying brat at the beginning of the series. It took me a few months to build up my courage to pick up the series again— and wow! I was glad I did! I restarted my journey about two months ago and, as of today, I have less than 50 episodes left to watch to finish the series (keep in mind that the complete series has about 700 episodes). I got attached to the characters for their development and their compelling stories. I saw Naruto grow from being a troublemaker to a dependable hero, watched Sasuke go down a dark path for the sake of revenge, and learned about Kakashi and Itachi’s heartbreaking childhoods. But the girls? Where are the girls?

As well written as the story is, girls in Naruto are viewed as support-type characters for the boys; their stories aren’t touched upon and remain the same throughout the series. The lack of development of the girls is best highlighted by Sakura— the main female character and the most hated person from the series, and dare I say, all of anime. At the beginning of the series, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura train together to become ninjas with their teacher, Kakashi. Sasuke was a prodigy and excelled in every task, Sakura was known for her intelligence and chakra control, and Naruto lacked skill yet impulsively charged headfirst towards his enemies. As the show went on, Naruto and Sasuke’s skills have grown on par as they continuously try to learn new powers to one-up the other. But Sakura stayed the same. Even though she gained super strength and trained to become a medical ninja under the Fifth Hokage, her abilities and progress are constantly shadowed by her teammates' flashy powers (look at the picture above). This gap is even more prominent after the time skip in Shippuden where she becomes a “damsel in distress” which annoyed a lot of fans. She had so much potential to become a great character. Even if she was not the strongest ninja, the show could have taken steps to make her valuable in some way even if all they did was make her an efficient support character to Naruto and Sasuke instead of making her seem like she is always in their way. The unbalance caused by the lack of active female roles in Naruto leaves the female audience unrepresented. The female characters' underdevelopment implied that the girls are incompetent and therefore don’t get to make an impact in the story.  

ONE PIECE

I can talk about this show for hours. With 950+ anime episodes and 1000+ manga chapters, One Piece is synonymous with art; it follows the story of Monkey D. Luffy and his crew, the Straw Hat Pirates, on an adventure to find One Piece. Unlike other shōnen stories, One Piece immerses the audience into a mysterious world that is complex, dynamic, and feels real. Every single character is well developed— each of them have insanely detailed backstories, memorable personalities, and compelling motivations making them feel human. The story also tackles unconventional topics such as slavery, racism, the justice system, and classism. I could go on and on listing reasons as to why I love One Piece or why it is worth catching up to the 950 episodes, but I feel like you should let One Piece in and find that out for yourself. 

Unlike Naruto, women take on significant roles in One Piece and are often admired as role models. However, the lack of body diversity and the over-sexualization of the female characters leave a rather unpleasant aftertaste. 

As seen above, they all suffer the same-body syndrome— large breasts, impossibly tiny waists, and skimpy clothing. I get that these are common types of fanservice but, there are plenty of questionable design choices whenever fanservice is prioritized over logic (ie. the top-left girl is supposed to be a gladiator but her outfit does the very opposite of protecting her as it leaves her vital areas exposed). Another issue I have is with Sanji and his behaviour around women. He is the prime example of what the internet would call a ‘simp’ where his perverse tendencies and chivalry clash whenever he is near a female character. I feel like his overprotectiveness toward women and his willingness to die for them is counterintuitive to the powerful portrayal of women in the story. I understand that fanservice isn't going anywhere but the girls’ unrealistic designs and their treatment dilute their complex characterization to mere pretty and delicate objects.

CONCLUSION

From a feminist point of view, Naruto and One Piece have their own shortcomings when it comes to the inclusion and depiction of girls. I particularly chose to talk about them because they are the central faces of the shōnen genre, both of them depict common issues with female representation in most shōnen stories. It is understandable to a certain extent as to why the authors chose to draw/develop their characters, however, the lack of active female characters in shōnen stories fuels the ” shōnen is for boys, therefore, don’t expect female representation” narrative. It would do no harm to write stronger and more complex female characters in these stories, in fact, it would make the stories much more interesting as there is variation in perspectives and experiences— especially now because of the strong societal push toward feminism and the growing female audience consuming anime media. The fact that shounen does target boys is perhaps the most important reason to feature complex, active female characters in these stories—not only as supportive figures or dream girls, but as someone they can relate to and look up to as well.

EXTRA: NEW GENERATION SHŌNEN!

Naruto and One Piece have been in the anime scene for decades, but as societal values shift, many New Generation Shōnen are trying to tackle the inclusion of feminism in their stories. Here are some:

Boku no Hero Academia, one of the primary faces of New Gen Shōnen: A superheroes story where superpowers or quirks rule the world.  Physical advantages male characters may have during fights is insignificant as the winner is decided by their ability to use their power at its full potential and their compatibility with the opponent’s quirk. Women are shown to have different body types, breaking the skinny hourglass stereotype with healthy and muscular bodies. Read more on how BNHA is breaking the moulds here: https://www.animefeminist.com/feature-hero-academia-confronts-shonen-sexism/ 

Mob Psycho 100: A supernatural shōnen where the main character, Mob, struggles with masculinity, battles for self-improvement, and desires to just be an amiable and helpful person. His story breaks the typical toxic masculinity tropes in shonen stories and instead focuses on Mob’s emotional journey to being comfortable with who he is. Read more about this here: https://www.animefeminist.com/anime-feminists-top-25-anime-of-the-decade/

Demon Slayer, another progressive main face of the New Gen Shōnen: A historical supernatural story where women are given major roles and are never looked down upon by their male counterparts. As demon slayers, their attire is unique to each individual yet fit for their job and is not compromised for the sake of fanservice.

- Leanne.

[nextqueue]

Love and Volleyball

Genre(s): college!au, romance, slow burn, coming of age, friendship, drama, angst

Pairing: Johnny x OC black female (certain NCT members make appearances)

Word Count: 5.3k

Summary: Soraya is starting her first year of university in Chicago on a full ride volleyball scholarship. Her life hasn't been very eventful and a guy she meets one night is determined to change that.

[a/n]: This is my first fanfic! I plan to add more to this story if you guys like it so lemme know what you think. Thank you 🥰

~~~Soraya~~~

“Mom. Mommy. Mother. Female that pushed me out of her vagina!” My mother finally stops fawning over my belongings long enough to listen to me.

“I got it. I’ll finish decorating it later.” she gives me a withering look because she knows I’m lying.

“I’m still not moving until I meet your roommate so you can stop tryna get me ta leave.” rolling my eyes I examine the rest of the room liking the simple double room layout. 

Excited for my first year of college doesn’t even begin to describe how I’m feeling right now. Finally all my hard work paid off. The four years of only studying and practicing in high school lead me here to this moment. Chicago State University became my dream college after a class field trip in my junior year, I fell in love with the city and the overall vibes it gave me. I didn’t have a specific school I wanted to attend, my mother did, but I knew I wanted to play some type of sport. When senior year came around and the scholarships started rolling in for all three of the sports I played I was overwhelmed. I didn’t know which school to pick let alone which sport.

The answer was made for me when a letter from Chicago State University came in. My mother wanted me to take the basketball scholarship to Duke but I had already made my mind up. 

A loud bang followed by multiple voices shouting brings me out of my reverence. Looking at my mom we move in sync to the door. Before we can even touch the knob the door bursts open and a tall asian girl all but falls in followed by four more bodies. 

“Oh! Hello! Sorry for the commotion.” addressing my mother and I in a heavily accented tongue. Japanese I presume from the conversation I hear from her family.

She is really beautiful, standing at like six feet two inches. Arms and legs long and muscular from what I can see under her clothes. Her hair is cute short in a pixie cut which accentuates her face well, bringing out her delicate features. Her face is small, lips full, eyes large and nose small and straight. When she smiles rows of perfectly brace aligned teeth flash at you.

The girl and her family drag in hella suitcases all the while talking over one another. I laugh at their dynamic while my mother looks offended at the intrusion. 

“Um...hello? Yeah, excuse me what are you all doing here?” shaking my head at what is to come I try to stop it before it does. 

“Oh, my name is Miyabi and I am on the volleyball team. This is the room I was given. We just came from the airport.” 

As my mother was fixing another round of probably intrusive questions I jump in. 

“Are you from Japan?” my curiosity winning out as usual.

“Yeah! How did you know?”

“Good guess.” 

The smile that over takes her face makes me smile as well. She introduces her family to my mother and I before starting to unpack. I have never seen a group of people move as fast or as efficiently as hers did within the span of 20 minutes. Her entire side of the room was cleaned and fully decorated, clothes placed neatly in her side of the closet, desk organised and bed made. My mom and I watched as they interacted with each other for the first ten then continued setting up my side. All we finished setting up was my desk and bed area. Finally convincing my mother to leave the rest for me to finish we head to the cafeteria with Miyabi and her family for some lunch. 

The campus is filled with new students moving in with their families much like Miyabi and myself. It’s nice to see so many different demographics of people in one place, a complete 180 of where I grew up. Montana is predominantly caucasian so I got used to being the only dark skinned kid, it became normal to me to be the odd one out. Now in a place like this where so many look like me I feel more out of place than I ever did in Montana. 

Miyabi’s family leaves to rest at their hotel before they leave tomorrow, each one of them crying over having to leave the other. Before they depart her mother takes my hands in hers and asks in broken English if I can look out for her. Not knowing what else to do I promise her I will.

My mother leaves a little while after, our goodbyes far less emotional. I make her promise to let me know when she arrives safely back home and she makes me promise to at least send a text once a day to let her know I’m still alive. The rest of the day Miyabi and I explore the campus and get to know each other.

She is a middle blocker and was personally recruited by the head coach. When she learns I am a wing spiker her shock is unrestrained. Being so used to this reaction I just laugh it off. Standing at only five feet eight inches I am more in line with being a librero than a wing spiker but my athleticism and vertical leap do more than make up for my lack of height.

We meet a few more of our teammates along the way and introduce ourselves. They tell us about a party being thrown at one of the frat houses tonight in celebration of new pledges, suggesting we come. They part ways with us when some guys from the basketball team come up to them. Never being much of a partier it takes Miyabi unleashing a potent dose of puppy dog eyes on me for me to agree to go. I also would feel terrible letting her go out her first night here alone although she does well interacting with others, I doubt she would have any trouble making friends. 

Heading back to our room we spend the next few hours unpacking and picking out our outfits for tonight. Both of us came here in very travel savvy fits consisting mainly of oversized shirts and sportswear. Summer hasn’t completely abandoned us yet so we both opt for lighter more summery clothing. Keeping my look simple I throw on a pair of high waisted mom jeans and a white tee tied in front with my old white Keds. Miyabi’s fit is a little more extravagant but suits her bubbly personality well. Black and white plaid schoolgirl skirt paired with a white skin tight faux turtleneck tucked into them and the sickest pair of white platform boots I have ever seen.

“I am so mad we don’t wear the same shoe size right now.” I gush at her as I salivate over her shoes. 

“I can send you the link of where I got 'em if you want.”

“Girl, please do cause those are everything.”

We both opt to keep our makeup light and soon we are making our way to the frat houses. Other people are walking in the same direction as us clearly having heard about the party as well. Soon enough loud music can be heard and flashing lights become visible, the amount of people we see increases also. A large group has formed around what looks to be a group of guys, pledges I’m assuming. Pushing our way to the front Miyabi and I watch the guys be put through a rough series of trials, from drinking water with a goldfish in it, to being forced to streak. Things like this never interested or entertained me so I tell Miyabi I am leaving to go check out the rest of the party, she grabs my arm telling me we go together everywhere. Agreeing with her we make our way into the house. The music is loudest there, people are everywhere and all over each other. Finding the kitchen quickly Miyabi drags me with her to find drinks for the both of us. When she offers me a Corona I decline. 

“No thank you sis. I don’t drink.” she nods and switches drinks to a Coca-Cola for me.

Taking the unopened can I thank her and we chat amongst ourselves until the girls we met earlier find us and drag us to the dance floor, the living room, where we spend the next hour dancing our lives away. I break away first to get water.

Finally making it to the kitchen through the mobs of people packed in one place I catch my breath. The only other person in the kitchen with me is a guy. He smiles softly at me when he notices me. He’s cute, well more than cute. Standing well over six feet he towers over me as he straightens up from looking in the fridge for something. Smiling back at him I put my locs up in a messy bun away from my neck as I crouch in front of the open fridge looking for bottles of water. 

“What are you looking for?” a voice startles me a little, peering around the fridge door I see the guy watching me closely.

The lighting in the kitchen is dim but enough for me to see just how beautiful he really is up close. Longish dark brown hair messily falling into his eyes, pretty down turned eyes, pretty brown down turned eyes that look sleepy hidden behind glasses. Round glasses that sit atop a gorgeously straight nose bridge. My hand itches to trace his features as I lay my eyes on his lips. A deep cupid’s bow, plump pink lips that upturn at the corners, the most striking part of his face to me besides his eyes. Clearing my throat to answer him I stand tucking the last loc away from my face.

“Bottled water.”

“Thought so. They are outside in the cooler out back.” gesturing for me to follow him he leads me through the house to the backyard where the setting seems more intimate. Couples holding to each other tightly and strangers finding comfort in deep conversation.

“Here you go.” he hands me a bottle of water. I thank him then go to sit on the steps of the deck we are on.

I don’t expect him to sit next to me and jump a little when he does. His large frame filling the rest of the space on the staircase.

“Johnny.” holding his hand out for me to shake he looks into my eyes. Looking from his eyes to his hand and back again I shake his hand lightly.

“Soraya.”

The smile that over takes his face makes me hold my breath. It is beautiful, adding a youthful effect to his overall look. His eyes crinkle up into slits and my heart skips a beat. 

“Nice to meet you Soraya.”

~~~Johnny~~~

She is beautiful, one Soraya. With her long black locs, mischievous feline eyes, high cheekbones, a cute upturned button nose and lips so large, pink and soft looking I find myself staring at them anytime she speaks. I remember seeing her in the cafeteria earlier today with who I assume is her mother and the tall girl she came to the party with. I couldn’t stop looking at her then just like now. She looked mean and unapproachable at first but the longer I watched her interact with everyone around her I realise she is so full of life that you can’t help but be drawn to her.

I watched her dance with her friend and some other random people that she welcomed to be in her presence. Deciding I was being a little too creepy I left to go hang in the  kitchen away from the girls trying to gain my attention and my friends getting wasted.

I never expected her to walk in, let alone by herself. Her skin glowed in the soft light of the kitchen. Little beads of sweat dotting her forehead. When she began fanning herself and tying her hair up I couldn’t look away. She crouched in front of the open fridge and I truly noticed all of her for the first time. Her body caught my whole attention. She is tall, not tall like her friend who clearly stands over six feet, but tall enough to be noticeable. Her arms and legs are long, her waist small, hips wide but not too wide and even though the pants she has on are kind of baggy you can tell her legs and ass are quite ample. She looks athletic and quite flexible. It’s not easy for people to squat into the crouched position she is in unless they have an Asian heritage or some sort of dance/gymnastics background. When I asked her what she was looking for I wasn’t prepared for what she sounded like.

There was a slight presence of an accent which made her deeper voice sound all the more sexy to me. I wanted her to keep talking to me somehow.

When she sat on the porch steps just watching everyone interact with each other my heart lurked in my chest. She looked so at peace but so lonely sitting there I couldn’t help myself when I sat next to her. I want to know everything about her.

“Nice to meet you Soraya.”

“Nice to meet you Johnny.” loving the way she says my name and the little smile that graces her lips. I throw all caution to the wind.

“Are you a freshman?” she doesn’t avoid my eyes as I ask her questions and that makes me nervous. Usually the average human can’t hold eye contact for more than a few seconds especially in this close of proximity. I like to hold eye contact with people because I feel a surge of power and excitement when they look away. She doesn’t waver though and I find myself fighting to keep hold of her gaze.

“I am.”

She has freckles and little moles all over her face and parts of her skin I can see. I want to count them all. I remember my mother telling me where you have moles is where your lover kissed you most in your past life. 

“Do you play a sport?”

“Volleyball.” 

“What position?”

“Wing Spiker.” her answer is surprising to say the least. I figure she would be a libero with her smaller size. One look at her face tells me she is used to this assumption.

“Your vertical must be ridiculous, makes sense though.”

Cocking her head at me she asks what I mean.

“Your legs. I can tell they are really powerful not to mention long. Your arms are really long too and your hands are huge.” She looks away from me for the first time since I sat next to her and I see her play with one of the rings she wears.

“What about you? Do you play a sport?”

“I used to my freshman year, I’m a junior by the way, then I got hurt.”

“What happened?” she looks back at me, her eyes holding concern and warmth.

“I blew out my knee last year. Now I just redshirt. I was never really into sports intensely anyways. It was just a way to pay for school.” 

“What sport did you play?” 

“Soccer.” 

“Really? My little brother plays, he’s really good.” 

The way her face lights up talking about someone she loves makes me feel funny. I want her to light up that way when talking about me. It’s been a while since I felt like this about anyone.

“How many siblings do you have?” 

“I have two younger brothers. Kyle and Andre. Seventeen and Thirteen. Andre just turned thirteen in August. Do you have any siblings?”

I want her to look at me this way for the rest of eternity. She holds stars in her eyes and has my heart in her hands already. 

“No, I’m an only child.”

“How old are you?”

“I’m twenty-one. You I am assuming are eighteen.”

“I’ll be nineteen in a few weeks.” September. Her birthday is in September.

“Nice.” 

“What is your majour and what are you passionate about since sports ain’t it?” her question catches me off guard. She seems to have relaxed some.

“Music. I majour in music. I’m the DJ for the campus radio station also.”

Her eyes open wide at my revelation. The way she listens and takes in information is cute like it is the most amazing thing she has ever heard in her life. It’s honest. She can’t seem to hide her emotions well all being shown on her face.

“I’ll have to subscribe!” I chuckle at her excitement.

“What is your majour?” I tried to guess what she would be studying but the longer I talk with her the less I can grasp an idea. Maybe some sort of psychology, something to do with people.

“English majour with a minor in International Relations.” Yupp, would have never guessed that.

“Why those?”

“I’m not from America. I am from Barbados and have always loved to travel, to write and love learning languages.”

“Ahh, that makes sense now.”

“What makes sense?”

“The little accent I hear.” shock passes through her eyes.

“You can tell?”

“Yeah, only cause my parents are from South Korea and I grew up around accented English. I’ve always been able to tell no matter how slight it is. You say certain words differently.”

Nodding her head she starts speaking to me in Korean. I am so shocked I don’t hear a word of what she said.

“W-what?” Repeating what she said I am floored at her fluency.

“How do you know Korean?” 

“I told you I like learning languages.”

“Yeah, but Korean? That’s kind of random.” I laugh a little.

“Not really.” She goes on to tell me the story of how she came to speak Korean and I can’t help but like her more than I already do. 

“Have you ever been?” the way she speaks about the country you would swear she has been or is Korean herself.

“No, sadly I haven’t. I have plans to though. Have you?”

“Twice yeah. I was born here though, in Chicago.”

“How was it?”

Stars light up her eyes as she leans closer to me without realising in her excitement. She smells so good, not like the annoying fruity perfumes most women wear but something more earthy and deep. Under the lights from the house her skin looks even softer than before. Swallowing heavily I glance quickly at her lips. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Why does she affect me so badly?

“It was great, there is alot to do and it’s alot more diverse than you think in some places.”

She hangs onto every word that exits my mouth even leaning against my shoulder slightly as we trade stories late into the night. After talking for hours she suddenly jumps up.

“I have to go find Miyabi.”

“The girl you came with?” seeing her panic a little over her friend is cute. She leaves me sitting there as she all but sprints back into the house. Trailing after her I watch as her body relaxes visibly upon seeing her friend sitting in the living area playing a game of Never Have I Ever with a few other people.

“Soraya! There you are. Come play!” tugging Soraya down to sit next to her she declares the game restarted.

A few of my friends are in on the game as well so I decide to join.

“John where you been?” one of my best friends and teammates asks. He is sprawled out on a couch looking at peace with himself. Yuta’s eyes flit to Soraya momentarily then back to me raising an eyebrow. 

“Around.” is all I say sitting down next to my friend Taeyong.  

The game starts pretty mildly with innocent topics such as stealing or skipping class. Soraya still has all her fingers up and is quietly watching everyone around her lose fingers myself included.

When the questions made their way around to Yuta I could almost hear the trouble start.

“Never have I ever slept with more than three people in one night.” He looks directly at me daring me to lie. Glaring at him I begrudgingly lower another one of my fingers.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Soraya staring at my hands. Ashamed for once in my life I wish she didn’t have to see this side of me.

~~~Soraya~~~

More than three people in one night. Chuckling softly to myself I see him peep at me from the corner of his eye. The guy is funny, seeming so calm and collected all night but now I see as usual you can’t judge a book by its cover and humans are far more complex than they ever care to admit.

The questions continue and all my fingers stay spread. I realise my life has lacked any real excitement or adventure, this realisation makes me melancholy. At least I will win this game it seems. Everyone in the room has either folded all their fingers or on their last two or three. Miyabi has three fingers left. Johnny has two.

“Never have I ever stolen a friend's crush.” Johnny brings me out of my stupor with his question. Looking up at him I see him staring down the guy lounging on the couch.

Yuta I think his name is. A cheeky fellow with a serious expression and a lovely smile when he does use it. His appearance is kind of messy but in a very aesthetically pleasing way. Hair dyed a bright red and long, pulled back into a half updo bun. Yuta puts his last finger down with a smirk on his face. Looking between the two of them the tension is palpable.The moment passes and the game continues with everyone none the wiser. Finally it is my turn, I have only folded two fingers so far and for very minor things compared to what the others have done. Wanting this game to be over I choose a question everyone will most likely have to put a finger down for.

“Never have I kissed someone.”

As I thought everyone who was left put their finger down. I win the game. Johnny openly stares at my hands, an unreadable expression on his face. Miyabi yawns loudly declaring she is tired and ready to go to sleep. Checking the time on my phone I see it is well into the early morning hours. Excusing us I let Miyabi lean on me as I lead us out of the house and back to our dorm. The walk was longer than when we came with her full weight on me so I stop and help her up onto my back. Carrying her the rest of the way on my back we reach our place of residence quicker.

Dropping her onto her bed heavily and taking her shoes off I search through my things for makeup wipes to clear both our faces.

Tonight was an experience, my first real party that wasn’t a team dinner or school dance. The drinking, smoking, and general freeness of it all was not something I am used to. Talking to guys also was never on my radar but talking to Johnny wasn’t so nerve-wracking. He was intriguing and very honest in the way he speaks something I notice you don’t see very often these days. I wouldn’t mind talking to him again, finding out the story behind the apparent wild choices he made and the obvious tension between him and Yuta. 

Gently wiping the little bit of makeup from Miyabi’s face then applying some of my moisturising lotion just so her face wouldn’t be dry when she wakes up. Taking care of my skin I finally change and make my way into my bed.

Waking up I check the time, sighing when I see I haven’t been asleep for more than two hours. Insomnia is a bitch and she just keeps coming back. 

Rummaging through my backpack I pull out my diary, in times like these it’s the only thing that gives my mind peace. Writing has always been a safe place for me, when I would forego parties I would write about them. When I lost a game I would write that I had won as if the words scribbled onto paper or typed onto a document could change the past or predict the future. I write until Miyabi wakes up then we decide to go to the cafe for breakfast after we wash up.

It’s still early when we enter the cafe so not many people are present. Entering the line for breakfast, Miyabi and I chat about last night.

“No, but listen! He was so cute and charming. Yuta I think his name was and he is Japanese too from Osaka. I think he might be on the soccer team.” Yuta. That name…. I think it’s the name of the friend of Johnny’s from last night.

“We can go to a practice later if you would like.” 

“Can we really? I didn’t get a chance to talk to him long last night but…wait what about that guy you came in with before the game? He was cute and seemed into you.” she watches me with a twinkle in her eye, a hopeless romantic type, not what I would have pegged her for. Cute.

“Johnny. Yeah, he was nice.” 

“He seemed more than nice. All throughout the game he was watching you.”

“Mmmm.” 

“He seemed surprised when you ended the game with that question. I’m curious too, have you really never kissed anyone?”

~~~Johnny~~~

Waking up early for my morning run and exercise I can’t seem to get Soraya off my mind. Her innocence baffled me. When she implied she had never kissed anyone I wonder if that was the truth or if she just wanted the game to end? She looked tired so maybe that was it, she just wanted to go sleep and didn’t want to be rude. But what if?

Coffee. My body is screaming for coffee as I end my run, deciding to stop by the cafe. It’s empty, the few people in here don’t look like they have woken up fully yet. The coffee here is surprisingly good, not what I’m used to but tasty enough.

Scanning the cafe I see two girls looking a lot livelier than the rest. The shorter one looks familiar, it’s hard to make out her features without my glasses but it looks like Soraya. Her hair is covered by some sort of scarf and her clothes are extra baggy sweats. The coffee machine pings bringing me out of my stupor. 

You should go talk to her Johnny. Yeah. Yeah. Do that. It’s no big deal. She’s the same girl from last night right? Right. Let’s do this!

Making my way over to her I pause when I hear the conversation she is having with her friend. The same friend from last night.

“No, I wasn’t lying. I haven’t kissed anyone.” she chuckles a little then fills up her plate with more food.

“Seriously? Like ever? Never? Why?”

Yeah, why? I want to know why too.

“It just never came up or was a priority of mine.” I am sure my face looks stupid right now. 

“Wait does that mean you have never had a boyfriend?”

Surely she had to have had a boyfriend. What man or even an adolescent boy would see her and not want to date her? In the daylight she is even more mesmerising. She looks warm in her oversized grey hoodie and matching grey sweat shorts. The scarf hiding her locs is a pretty golden yellow. The starkness of the colour against her skin is gorgeous. The way she stands like she is the most important person in the room is quite attractive as well.

“Correct. I’ve never had a boyfriend.”

Coughing from shock I alert the two women to my presence.

“Oh! Johnny right?” her friend addresses me first.

“Hey. Morning.” I wave at them. Wave? Come on John.

“Morning Johnny.” the smile that falls on her lips makes my heart stutter. Dimples. Fucking dimples. Of course she has to have dimples.

“Morning Soraya.” 

~~~Soraya~~~

My goodness he looks so good. Like he just came from working out or something. His hair pushed back with a sportsband. The shirt he wears is black and sleeveless, giving me an unobstructed view of his arms and damn it if they look amazing. His joggers are black as well but fit him so perfectly I wonder if they were specifically tailored for him. My eyes travel up from his feet to his eyes. Those eyes. Like freshly made honey straight from the comb of the most hardworking bees. 

“Are you here for breakfast?” Miyabi breaks the ice once again. Her bright personality proving to be a joy to have around. 

“Uh, yeah.” he grabs a plate and begins adding food to it.

Watching him fills me with a sense of warmth.

“Come eat with us.” the words leave my mouth before I can stop them. He looks surprised but nods and finishes piling food on his plate. He follows us to a table near the windows.

We eat in silence for the most part each one of us taking turns to make polite conversation with one another. Miyabi finishes eating first then leaves claiming she has something to do but as I watch her leave she has a shit-eating grin on her face and is making obscene motions behind Johnny’s back. Rolling my eyes I focus on the gorgeous man in front of me. The sun is hitting one side of his face just right, highlighting his sharp features and bringing out the lighter tones of his eyes. 

“What’s your favourite colour?” I blink a few times not sure what I heard.

“Huh?” smooth as sandpaper Raya.

He smiles softly and repeats the question.

“Violet.”

“Violet? Isn’t-” cutting him off with a hand before he can even finish that statement I go off on a tangent about the differences in the colours Violet and Purple, going so far as to pull up a chart on my phone.

“You get that alot I see.” he laughs like a teleprompter wrote it out and I find it so endearing.

“Yeah. Only artists seem to understand what I mean.”

“You should meet my friend Taeyong then, the shorter guy I was sitting next to at the party. He is an Arts majour.” 

“I would love to!”

“Give me your number and we can all hang some time then.” smooth Mr. Johnny. Real smooth. Don’t think I didn’t see what you did there sir.

I give him my number because truthfully I was looking for a way to ask him for his as well, he just beat me to it. Talking some more I learn quite a bit about this man. As more people fill the cafe the quiet almost magical bubble we had for ourselves pops. Figuring there is no point in dragging this on I make up an excuse to leave.

“So, can I text you sometime?” standing outside the building to the cafeteria I get shy as I watch literally everyone that passes us stare at our interaction.

“If you would like. I must warn you though, I’m terrible at replying unless I deem you important or entertaining in my life.” he smiles at my words and says he will just have to become both before he leaves.

Watching him jog away I can’t help but fawn over him. I didn’t come here to this school to date but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to try it out.

[dropintomanga]

On Kodansha US’s New Tagline

One of the North American manga publishers recently got a new revamp as Kodansha Comics became consolidated into a more centralized Kodansha with a new logo and also a new tagline.

That new tagline is “Inspire Impossible Stories.” I know for most fans, taglines are taglines. But I’m somehow emotionally drawn to it due to my own relationship with Kodansha-published manga series for more than a decade.

Where do I start with this? I think the 1st Kodansha series I ever truly read was Chobits when Tokyopop released it back in the day. But the first actual Kodansha-published series that really drew my interest was Great Teacher Onizuka. After watching all of the anime in the early 2000s’, I jumped in on the Tokyopop volumes. I still consider GTO to be one of the best “high school teacher” anime/manga series of all-time. Now that I think about it, GTO did something very notable and maybe impossible compared to a typical Shonen Jump story. It was a story about a former young adult gangster who decided to be a teacher in a high school class full of troublemakers. GTO went deep into real-life issues plaguing youth in high school. It made caring about the mental health of youth a thing before it really became a thing this past decade.

Also, I just remembered that Initial D (which is another Kodansha title) was a series I loved when I was a young adult. This is starting to sound like a Tokyopop appreciation post, but I know who the real MVP is here.

I remember a famous line in Gintama about Kodansha’s Weekly Shonen Magazine. There’s a code in the Shinsengumi that states all members should read Magazine instead of Jump. 

“Shinsengumi Regulation #17: No manga other than (Weekly Shonen) Magazine are allowed to be read within the confines of the station.'”

While it’s a joke poking fun at Magazine for publishing stories about delinquents and appealing more to older youth/young adults, it felt like Jump was for babies.

I browsed issues of Shonen Magazine in the past at a Japanese comfort food restaurant many years ago and it was full of series that I didn’t recognize or couldn’t get into. I did recognize a few titles like Fairy Tail and Air Gear, but the fact that it also had pin-up girls on their covers from time-to-time made me realize that Magazine was different from Jump. I remember one issue had a large fan poll on which AKB48 girl was the best.

A few years ago, Kodansha interviewed Hiroya Oku of GANTZ fame, who drew Inuyashiki for Kodansha’s Evening (a seinen manga magazine). When asked about how he came up with the idea of having a robotic alien superhero in the form of an old man, Oku mentions his former publisher, Shueisha, while describing his initial thought process. He says,

“When I was working on GANTZ on Shueisha’s Young Jump Magazine, I was more concerned about the popularity and sales figures of my manga. In that magazine’s culture, there’s an unspoken rule to make the main characters visually attractive. When I started work for Kodansha’s Evening (the magazine Inuyashiki is published in), there was more freedom. So I suggested going with the not-so-good-looking teenager as a main character. They green-lit the idea, so I started drawing the character in the manga.”

Let me put this out before we go a bit further - I love Shueisha manga series. I grew up on Shonen Jump. Their material always seems to captivate me somehow. They kept me interested in shonen for a long time. But because the fact shonen is the mainstream genre, I might get sick of it when the time comes. It’s why I also started following Young Jump series since they sounded more appealing. However, I do notice that with series like Tokyo Ghoul, Kingdom and Golden Kamuy, to name a few, the magazine is filled with stylish-looking characters that have greater appeal to a younger audience despite whatever mature tones they have.

But when it comes to Kodansha, their manga series are mature from the start and I don’t mean in a fanservice kind of way. Can you see series like A Silent Voice or Your Lie in April published in Shonen Jump or one of Shueisha’s other notable magazines? I'm not sure I can. It’s also noted that Hajime Isayama, creator of Attack on Titan, tried to get his series into Shonen Jump. Shueisha thought the series was a bit too dark for their tastes, and Isayama decided to try out for Kodansha instead and that’s where he’s been ever since as the series is published in Bessatsu Shonen Magazine.

So why appeal to that older shonen demographic? Probably because life isn’t some battle manga with friends that are there for you every step of the way. Hard work doesn’t always get rewarded. The idea of victory can also get very gray. You see more delinquents than overpowered ninjas/pirates in life. While Fairy Tail and The Seven Deadly Sins are two of Kodansha’s popular “battle manga” series ever, both series seem to subvert some of shonen’s popular tropes and/or have a certain edge to them. What’s funny is that both series involve a bar/pub/restaurant location where all the heroes meet up. Many older teens start to hang out in places like restaurants as their after-school hangouts.

There’s a lot of Kodansha series that I feel seemed impossible to tell for other publishers. I can think of titles like Tokyo Revengers, Blue Period, Land of the Lustrous, Witch Hat Atelier, Cells at Work!, Knights of Sidonia, etc. The lineup of shojo and josei titles is also incredible as well (Princess Jellyfish, Wotakoi and Chihayafuru are the best examples I can give here) Hell, Akira is a Kodansha title that’s still groundbreaking and evergreen as ever. Their tagline, “Inspire Impossible Stories,” makes sense as while it applies to their U.S. operations, a lot of job hunting students in Japan really want to work for Kodansha Japan.

While Shueisha does have a good share of its own “impossible” stories (Chainsaw Man was a title that impressed me), Shonen Jump is mainstream-friendly and safe to a certain degree. The stories I discovered through Kodansha made me realize how big the world of manga really was and what kind of stories were possible. While they may not have the biggest fandoms compared to Shonen Jump series, I can feel a certain vibe when I read Kodansha-published manga in that any mangaka working under them has their vision unleashed in a way that pleases both readers and the mangaka themselves. There might be a certain bias though as I’ve gotten to see editors from Kodansha Japan in person when they showed up for manga-related events in my area.

Kodansha showed me that there’s more to the manga world than just Jump. That’s why I love their new tag line of inspiring impossible stories. I think we need more exposure to new kinds of stories that speak to all kinds of people. I know people don’t like different stuff outside of what they usually like, but I believe those differences are beneficial in learning how to appreciate nuances in life when one gets older. Being challenged isn’t as frightening as it sounds. Those differences are trying to tell us something about ourselves. For me, it was “I really want something that isn’t about fighting super-powered villains and rivalries all the time.”

I have ambivalent feelings about my life during my 20s’, but Kodansha-published stories helped me appreciate possibility at the time when I didn’t feel there was anything to keep me going. So go on, Kodansha. Keep putting out impossible stories that are thoughtful and inspiring future generations of manga readers. Tell the world that impossible is nothing.

[shellsan]

Since the new year finished up and I saw @ncisduckie doing this, I figure I might as well wrap up last year.

What I Worked On:

This year is a weird year for writing for me. A lot of what I wrote was for my writing course or my English course for university, however in the earlier months of the year before we started really living in a completely dystopian universe, I wrote a few fanfiction pieces for a couple of fandoms. Some of which is unpublished either because I have no desire to share it or because it’s still a WIP.

Total Word Count: ~80k across everything

Demographics/Genres/Fandoms Written In:

Ghost Hunt, D.Gray-man and some OG stuff. And technically speaking I wrote fic for a book called “A Tale for the Time Being” for my lit. course.

Looking back, did you write more than you thought this year, less, or about what you’d expected?

So so so much less. But between university, life drama, and the pandemic this year, I’m not going to beat myself up over it and I’ll just give it another shot this year.

What’s your favorite thing you worked on this year?

Probably the piece I started for Baillie’s birthday, a fic that’s still in progress and much longer than it should be. Otherwise, I really loved “The Hallway”, though I need to work on it a lot more, or perhaps “The Bunny”, my final written piece for my creative writing course in the earlier semester. I also really loved the first thing I wrote for my creative writing course.

Did you take any writing risks this year?

Hmmm, I suppose any writing I did that was original was a risk of a kind, especially The Hallway. Otherwise, “You Had Better” was a very different style of writing to what I usually do, so I would consider it a risk.

Do you have any writing goals for the new year?

I just want to write more. I want to try and complete some short stories that aren’t for university. I just want to focus on my writing in general in a non-fanfiction specific realm. In terms of fanfiction, I really want to finish off Nefelibata officially, and I also want to get at least a few more chapters of TCOL published this year.

Most popular story of the year?

“The Cases of London” (TCOL) is by far my most popular fic, as expected given the length and what-not. Otherwise, “Peaked Interest” according to AO3 which is... somewhat shocking to me.

Most under-appreciated story of the year?

"The Hallway” got mixed feedback so for OG writing, I would say that. For fic, it’s “The Complications of Love” which makes sense because it’s a very specific style of fic and it’s not something I ever wrote for people to enjoy so much as something I wrote for myself.

Most fun story to write:

Hmmm... I think I had the most fun working on You Had Better. It was just different and new.

Most unintentionally telling story:

Either the Complications of love or My Stranger, i guess?

Biggest Disappointment:

Not writing as much as I wanted to this year, and not doing as well as I would’ve liked for my writing course in general.

List of all the fic I published in 2020:

Peaked Interest

Marionette

Feverish

Nervous

Sunshine

You Had Better

My Stranger

The Complications of Love

And then some new chapters for The Cases of London

[krys-loves-otome]

30 Days of Fanfic, Day 6

30 Days of Fanfic tag!

My 30 Days of Fanfic Masterlist

Day 6: Gender Preferences When Writing

When you write, do you have a gender preference for your protagonist and/or the rest of the cast? Is it the same or different from your own gender? Do you feel your own gender is well represented, and how do you go about accurately portraying genders different from your own?

The majority of the time, I tend to lean more towards a cis female perspective for the protagonist, as that is the point of view I am most familiar with, being a cis female person myself. And, given that I currently write for otome/dating sim fandoms, the majority of the protagonists are cis female, so the demographic is pretty well represented within the genre.

For other characters of other genders, I like to think I lean more on their personalization and character rather than care about their genders, but, given the genre I work in (otome), the rest of the cast tends to be cis male (with a few exceptions) so I usually don't get to play around with other genders often.

There are some instances where I've tried a more gender-neutral perspective for protagonists, using 'you' pronouns and try to take out stereotypical gender markers whenever I do reader-inserts. Though not completely perfect examples, my 'Love at First Sight' fic with Jumin (Mystic Messenger), or 'Blankets' with Mitsunari (IkeSen) can be seen as a gender-neutral reader (as far as I can tell, but I could be wrong, as I didn't explicitly state them as gender-neutral (the Jumin fic is labeled as f/m, but I’m considering going back to change that now). I'm only a cis female writer, there might be some things that fly under my radar that might set off a keener eye than mine, and I do apologize if it's something really gross and insensitive if that's the case).

But yeah, I think I'm more of the type that focuses more on character and personality rather than the gender of a character. I'm more here for the story and not what kinda junk the protagonist or their cast members have or what their preferred pronouns are (but it is always nice to know!)

[marshmallow-phd]

Memories Past

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Supernatural, Wolf Au

Pairing: Kris x Reader

Summary: The last thing Kris wanted was to move on. He was perfectly content wallowing in his misery while pretending everything was okay. But when you come walking into his shop with a broken down car, he realizes the thing he’d been avoiding the most just might be the cure he always needed. He just couldn’t believe that it’d been you all along. Kris had been your best friend when you were kids before he’d moved away without a word of goodbye. Now nearly fifteen years later, you run into him again by pure coincidence. The memories come rushing back to you, stirring something inside. A childhood crush shouldn’t upend your picture perfect life, but sometimes, destiny has other things in mind…

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I Final

**

You should have been more elated about tonight. You should have been grinning from ear to ear, planning your outfit down to the last detail. And you were happy about tonight. You were excited to spend some real one-on-one time with Huan. Just not at the level you should have been.

For the first time in a long time, you were going on a date with your fiance. That was too strange a notion. Going on a date with your fiance. But something happened when you got engaged and made this move together. It was almost like the honeymoon phase was skipped over completely and the two of you had already settled into the “old married couple” phase where the two of you went along with your own separate schedules and just met at the end of the day to have dinner and go to bed.

Tonight, though, would mix up that same boring routine. Huan was getting out of work early and taking you to a nice restaurant that was way too expensive per plate. But you’d let that slide for the quality time. You kept repeating that to yourself to get you more excited. It worked. A little.

As soon as class was over, you ran to the parking lot, determined to beat Huan home and be mostly ready by the time he got there. With his job, he’d already be dressed up, not needing to change before heading out.

You spent a good ten minutes just staring at the high-end part of your closet; the section that held the fancier articles of clothing that you owned. They weren’t used often, but at least they were there.

Finally settling on a dress that stopped mid-thigh on you and pairing it with a pair of heels that were actually comfortable, you headed to the next step of preparation. You were just putting on the finishing touches, watching yourself in the mirror as you put on a pair of simple earrings when you heard the front door of the apartment opening.

“(y/n)?”

“Coming!” Grabbing your small clutch, you hurried out of the bedroom, almost running smack into Huan in the hallway.

“Well, hello there,” he laughed as he encased you in an embrace close to his chest.

You placed a chaste kiss on his lips. “Hi. How was work?”

He shrugged. “It was work. I’m much happier here.”

That got a giggle out of you. “So, does that mean you’d rather stay here than go to dinner?”

“Not a chance,” Huan said firmly, letting you go and taking a hold of your hand instead. “I made this reservation weeks ago. I’m not just going to cancel them now.”

For some reason, the way he phrased it… No. You were overthinking things and looking for something that wasn’t there.

But why? Your mind had never gone in that direction before. So why look at things that way now?

Pushing it all away, you vowed that you would enjoy tonight. A date with your fiance. This was happiness.

The restaurant was filled to fire code capacity when you arrived. How a fancy restaurant could be fully booked in a college city like this was beyond your comprehension, but it was simply so. The foyer was filled to the point that there was no more seating for those waiting patiently on the next available table.

After checking in with the hostess, you and Huan stood off to the side and out of the way until you were called. It was too loud to try and make conversation, so you stood there in silence, occasionally smiling at each other. Within ten minutes, you were shown to your table, thankfully in a more quiet area of the restaurant where conversation was actually possible. The waiter was quick to take your drink orders soon after you sat down. Huan ordered a bottle of wine without consulting you and refused to tell you the price of whatever alcohol he’d asked for.

“How are your classes going?” he asked, placing his menu off to the side.

The waiter came back, expertly pouring each of you a glass of white wine before leaving the bottle in an ice bucket and taking your orders for dinner.

“They’re going fine,” you replied. “I have a speech to give tomorrow on effects of colors on marketing strategies in different demographics.”

“So, you probably shouldn’t have gone out tonight then, huh?” Huan teased.

Giggling, you shrugged. “I’ve been practicing all day between classes. Ji Yeon even gave it a seal of approval, so I think a little break is fine. There is such thing as overdoing it.”

“Ji Yeon is the girl you met at the library, right?”

You nodded. “Yeah, she is. I really like her.”

“Good.” Huan reached out across the table, taking your left hand in his. He rocked the diamond ring on your finger back and forth with his thumb. “I’m glad you’re making friends here. I was a little worried when we moved all the way out here that you’d be alone most of the time.”

“I understand that your job keeps you busy,” you reassured him with a shrug. “And I’m able to make friends, obviously.”

“(y/n)?”

Turning to search for the source of your name, you lit up at finding it. Ji Yeon was only a few feet away. No longer dressed in her usual jeans, plaid button downs, and camisole, she looked stunning in her little black dress. And she wasn’t alone. A blonde haired man stood beside her, smiling brightly.

“Ji Yeon, hi!” You got up from your seat and went over to hug her. “We were just talking about you!”

“All good things, I hope,” Ji Yeon chuckled.

“Of course.” Remembering your manners, you turned to back to the table. “Ji Yeon, this is my fiance, Huan. Huan, this Ji Yeon.”

Huan stood up and shook Ji Yeon’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. (y/n) has talked nonstop about you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too” Ji Yeon smiled. “(y/n) has told me a lot about you. This,” she gestured to the man next to her, “is Minseok, my m- my boyfriend.”

Minseok and Huan exchanged handshakes. The smile that was on Minseok’s face faltered just a bit after he took a deep breath.  He squeezed Ji Yeon’s hand, getting a confused look from her.

“Well, we’ll let you get back to your dinner,” she said. “It was nice meeting you, Huan. I’ll see you tomorrow, (y/n).”

“Okay,” you nodded, waving goodbye. “See ya later.”

The two of them walked off, Minseok whispering in her ear.

“She does seem nice,” Huan commented when you sat back down. “But that Minseok….”

“What about him?” you asked. He seemed exactly how Ji Yeon had described him, gummy smile and all.

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “He just seemed like he didn’t like me.”

You laughed. “He just met you, Huan. He’s probably just shy. Since when did you judge people like that?”

“It’s not judging,” he argued. “It’s just a feeling. You’ve never got a feeling that someone just didn’t like you?”

“No,” you deadpanned. “Not after two seconds of meeting them.”

Huan threw his hands up. “Okay. I’m sorry. I’m ruining dinner.”

“No, you’re not,” you sighed. “Why don’t you tell me more about work instead?”

And so, with that strange encounter behind you, he went on about the different clients he was working with and how well he was fitting in with his coworkers. The conversation felt normal again and you were lost once in a world of just you and Huan.

Back at home, Huan was quick to change into his pajamas and crawl into bed, laptop open on his knees with just the covers in between.

You took your own time getting ready for bed, changing into your sleepwear and brushing your teeth in the bathroom. When you were done, you slid under the covers and snuggled into Huan’s side.

“Being on the computer this late isn’t good for your eyes,” you commented teasingly.

“I’ll put it away once I’ve finished this proposal,” he promised.

Tracing nonexistent shapes on his arm, you sighed, “I guess we should have just stayed home tonight to finish our work, huh?”

“I thought dinner was rather nice,” Huan countered, eyes still glued to the computer screen.

You chewed on your bottom lip, fighting back and forth on whether or not to voice out loud the thought that was bouncing around your head. Then, you opted to go with the truth.

“Hey, Huan?”

Click, click, click, click. “Hm?”

“I, um, I went to see Kris a few days ago,” you confessed.

The typing stopped. “You did, huh?”

“Yeah.” You sat up to watch his face. “You know, just to catch up with him. See what he’s been up to since I last saw him. A lots happened since then.”

Huan closed his laptop and set if off to the side on the nightstand. “What did you guys talk about?”

“Just life,” you replied. “Finding out what he’s been up to.”

“(y/n)… I don’t think that’s a good idea to do that anymore.”

You blinked. “Why?”

Huan blew air out from between his lips. “I just… I don’t feel comfortable with it.”

“He’s my friend,” you argued.

“Was your friend,” he countered. “You haven’t seen him for years. You don’t know who he is now.”

“Hence why I went to go see him. I’m curious as to who he is now.”

Sighing, Huan took your hand. “I just would feel better if you didn’t see him alone, just the two of you. Can you do that for me? Please?”

You wanted to continue arguing with him, to say that he was being ridiculous. You were an independent woman who could see who you wanted when you wanted. But relationships were about compromise and understanding the other person. You knew that you might be upset if Huan was out hanging with a woman you didn’t really know. So you gave in.

Leaning over to the nightstand, Huan turned off the lamp and pulled you in close to him as you both lied down to go to sleep.

Deep down, you knew that Huan was right. You didn’t know who Kris was now. Seeing him alone again would be a very bad idea. Staying away that situation would probably be easy enough. All you had to do was avoid going to the shop again. Easy enough. 

You hoped.

**

“How did the speech go?” Ji Yeon asked as you sat down across from her.

It was a nice day outside so the two of you had agreed to meet at one of the stone tables in the beautiful courtyard. A slight breeze kept the air from being too hot, but too bad to the point where your papers were flying everywhere. Fluffy white clouds floated across the blue sky while groups of students walked by, chatting about classes and their plans for the weekend.

“I think it went well,” you smiled. “I don’t think I missed any of my points. The only issue is that my professor is a master of the poker face. She gave away nothing as to if she liked it or not. That’s going to stress me out until she puts the grade in.”

Ji Yeon waved it off. “I’m sure you did perfectly fine. It sounded amazing when you did it for me.”

“Thanks,” you sighed. As much as her encouragement helped, you knew that you wouldn’t be completely calm until you knew the results of your presentation. Needing to take your mind off of it, you turned the conversation over to Ji Yeon. “How’s your project going?”

She shrugged. “Okay, I guess. I’m still having a hard time pinning down what I want the theme to revolve around.”

“You’ll figure it out eventually,” you encouraged. Her big project for the semester was worth a major percentage of her grade for this class. You wished you could be more helpful, but neither of you cared for the few ideas the two of you had come up with already.

Ji Yeon’s phone rang from it’s spot on the table. “It’s Minseok. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,” you nodded.

As she stood up and walked a little ways away to talk on the phone, you pulled out a notebook and started going over your notes, highlighting certain parts that you thought might be important later on.

“Hey, (y/n).”

You jumped, messing up your highlighting in the process. Kris sat down across from you, smiling at you.

Looking over your shoulder, you tried to figure out where the hell he came from. “What are you doing here?”

Kris shrugged. “My brothers go to school here, so I came to see them since I’m not at the shop today. I saw you and thought I’d say hi.”

“Oh.”

Somehow, you were slightly disappointed in that. Then you remembered your promise to Huan.

Standing up, you put away your notebook. “I’m sorry, Kris. I have to go.”

“Why?”

You frowned at him. “What?”

“Why do you have to go?” he elaborated.

“Because I shouldn’t be alone with you,” you answered honestly.

“Shouldn’t be alone with me?” The look on Kris’ face said he was insulted by the the comment. He, too, stood to his feet, coming close to you. “Why not? That didn’t seem to be an issue when you tracked me down earlier this week.”

You gaped at him. He really had the audacity to push that back onto you. “Yeah, well, I’ve talked to Huan since then and he said that it made him uncomfortable.”

Kris snorted. “Uncomfortable, huh? Sounds like he’s feeling a little threatened by your childhood friend.”

“He is not,” you spat. What was up with him right now?

“Really?” Kris scoffed, leaning up against the table. “Then why doesn’t he want you to reconnect with a friend from when you were eight?”

Unfortunately, you didn’t have a good comeback for that. Not one that would stop any further argument, anyway. “Look, Kris, it’s nothing personal. And I do want to see you and be friends again, but Huan is important to me and if he doesn’t like this then I’m not going to risk him. I’m sorry.”

“Whatever, (y/n),” Kris mumbled. “When you’re ready to be your own person again, let me know.”

Before you could retort, he pushed off of the table and left. A minute later, Ji Yeon came back and could read your conflicting emotions all over your face.

“Did something happen?” she asked.

“No,” you lied. The situation was just too complicated to explain. And it was giving you a headache. “Still just worried about the speech results.”

Jiyeon nodded, but definitely didn’t believe you. “Okay. Well, try not to think about it then.”

“I’ll try,” you sighed. Much easier said than done.

You were still thinking about Kris and his challenge as you made dinner that night. You were your own person. You were also just considerate of the the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

Huan came from work at his usual late time and greeted you quickly before heading for the bedroom to change. When he came back out, he kissed your cheek before stealing a taste of the pasta sauce simmering on the stove.

“Would you stop,” you chastised. “It’s not done yet.”

“I know,” Huan chuckled, “but your sauce is always amazing. And I’m hungry.”

“Well, you’ll have to wait a little bit longer.” To save the rest of the sauce, you covered the pot with a lid and let it finish cooking along with the pasta.

“By the way, babe,” Huan took down plates from the cabinet to set the table, “next week I’ve got to go out of town for work.”

“Oh, yeah?” you turned to him. “How long?”

“All week,” he replied. “I won’t be back until the following Monday.”

You pursed your lips. “Okay. I guess I can survive until then.”

Huan shook his head. “You always do.”

**

You spent the weekend with Huan, neglecting your homework to be with him as much as you could before he left for his business trip. And you enjoyed it a majority of the time.

However, every once in a while and without a single provocation, your mind would wander off to Kris.

What was he doing at this moment in time? Was he upset after your last encounter? Was he smiling and laughing with his “brothers”? Was he happy?

Those were not questions that you should have been asking yourself or thinking about at all. But there you were, doing it anyway. What was worse was the moments Huan caught you in deep thought. You lied each time, saying it was just school and the papers you had coming up occasionally crossing your mind.

A sense of guilt weighed you down as you dropped Huan off at the airport Monday morning. Your fingers wanted to take over the wheel and go see Kris at that stupid shop. The reason why escaped you. Why this urge to see him, make sure that he’s smiling and content, was constantly plaguing you kept escaping you.

He’s just someone you knew when you were eight, you told yourself. There was no reason or cause for any of this.

He wasn’t that special. He wasn’t some lost hero that had saved you from the tower before disappearing into the woods and leaving you alone. He was simply a person that you spent time with as child, someone who was there in your memories and had made you smile and laugh. That was it. It shouldn’t be affecting you like this.  

The sun was almost completely gone by the time you got out of class on Monday. With a sense of urgency that always came with the dark, you hurried to the now mostly empty parking lot with the thought of bed on your mind.

But you didn’t even make it to the edge when you saw a familiar figure under a streetlamp right up against the sidewalk.

Leaning on his car with his arms crossed, Kris gave you a little wave.

You simply rolled your eyes and kept on walking towards your car.

“You’re really not going stop and say hi?” he called out after you.

Whirling around, you yelled back, “What exactly do you think you’re doing just showing up here?”

Kris held his hands up as he slowly approached you. “I just want to talk.”

“You just want to talk?” you scoffed. “Fine. Then talk.”

He shook his head. “Not here.”

You didn’t move as he got close enough to grab your hand. When you didn’t pull away, he started to lead you back to his car.

“Whoa, what do you think you’re doing?” You tried to yank free, but his grip was just strong enough to keep you in place.

Opening the passenger’s side door of his car, all he said was, “Get in.”

What the hell? “No.”

“Please, get in.”

“No,” you emphasized.

This time, he simply pointed to the empty seat. The fact that you gave in so easily was insane. You should have ran, yelled at him, or did anything else besides sliding into that empty seat.

Without another word, Kris shut the door and rounded the hood of the car to take the driver’s seat. He put the car in drive and then took off out of the campus parking lot and down the street at a speed that was certainly well above the legal limit.

Everything past by you in a blur, but you could still make out the fact that he wasn’t taking you in the direction of your apartment or his shop. In fact, the buildings around you were thinning as the forest came closer.

Bracing yourself, you pushed back into the seat. There was no way to tell where Kris was taking you or why. What you did know was that you weren’t feeling as guilty or anxious as you should have been.

In fact, you were feeling at ease - safe, even, as the gauge reached over ninety miles per hour - and that was worrying you the most.

[yoonminnow]

Waiting (01)

→ pairing | Jungkook x Reader x Hoseok

→ word count | 9.5k

→ genre | Restaurant AU | host!Jungkook | waiter!Hoseok | crack, smut, and just a dash of angst for flavor

→ summary | Nauseating hangovers, grouchy bartenders, and stoned bus boys are just a snapshot of your daily life working as a waitress at BigHit restaurant. However, through the chaos, your new bunny-teethed trainee manages to capture your attention. Too bad romance and the restaurant industry go together about as well as Namjoon and sharp objects.

→ warnings | explicit sexual content, language, drinking, drugs (kind of), just general bts crackhead behavior.

A/N: Inspired by the movie of the same title as well as my own experience as a server. Believe me when I say it’s as much of a shit show as I make it out to be.

Part ii, (Coming Soon!)

The sway of your car makes you grunt in pain as you pull into the parking lot of BigHit Restaurant, BHs for short, or BigShit as it is so affectionately referred to as by you and your coworkers.

A hangover from Park Jimin’s party the night before sits nauseatingly in your skull, but you’re hoping the Advil you had taken dulls the ache before you inevitably slide your card into that damned POS system to signify the start of your eight-hour hell of a shift. Speaking of which, you glance at your car clock to see you have three minutes before you need to head inside. You silently curse at yourself for taking those last two, okay, two and a half tequila shots when you knew you had to be up for a morning shift, But, to be fair, Jimin’s parties only came around so often. And by so often you mean at least three times a month, but who’s counting really?

A groan escapes your lips as your hand swings behind your passenger seat to grab your apron. You had folded it nicely after your shift yesterday, but either Jin or Taehyung must’ve knocked it to the ground when you drove them to the party yesterday. Scoundrels. You eye the wrinkled garment before shrugging and tossing it to hang over your shoulder.

A final glance at the clock tells you that your time is up, so with a shameful amount of effort, you pull yourself from the car and make your way towards the ever so slightly totalitarian looking building. It had recently received a renovation as part of the company’s attempt to make the atmosphere more “hip” so as to appeal to a younger demographic. However, the designer had been a little overzealous with the industrial-eco-minimalist-Pinterest-esque design and the restaurant now looked like a high-class prison with an assortment of plants and string lights sprinkled on top. The day after the reveal, Yoongi had come into work wearing a bright orange jumpsuit and Manager Bang nearly had his head for it.

Your temple pulses as you force open the heavy wooden door, reminding you yet again of your poor decision-making skills, but luckily, you aren’t waitressing this morning. Manager Bang had listed you as a trainer on the schedule for today, and though you’d much rather be balls deep in a Black Mirror binge session, training is definitely preferable to dealing with the snobby customers that make up the weekday lunch rush. You’ll let Namjoon deal with that today.

Speak of the devil, you catch sight of Namjoon prepping his tables upon you entering the dining area. His hair is slightly disheveled to match his backwards apron, and judging by the puffiness of his eyes he managed to get about as much sleep as you had.

“Greetings, Joon!” you call out from the doorway.

Your shout causes his hand to flail in shock, and subsequently knock over the salt shaker he had been filling. The icy stare he directs at you would probably be more intimidating if you hadn’t seen him curled up on the couch clutching onto Jimin’s thigh just a handful of hours earlier.

“God, what are you, a drill sergeant? Shouldn’t you be as miserable as me?” he grumbles out, sweeping the salt from the table into his cupped hand.

“Ah, from years of practice I have become a master of masking pain. Plus, I didn’t drink as much as you did. Come to think of it, no one did.” you claim as you walk over to Namjoon to help him refill the formerly filled shaker.  

“Mm.” Namjoon hums in response. “Was it that bad?”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure Jin doesn’t even remember.” you shake your head.

“Remember what?”

“Oh. Uhm, nothing.” you spew out.

“Y/N, what did I-”

“So anyway, your shirtless rendition of Careless Whisper was really something to behold!” you quickly change the subject.

“M-my what?”

“Don’t fret, your rhythm-was-wonderful,” you say as you pat his shoulder to punctuate each word.

“Please, stop talking.”

Driven by his discomfort, you slowly bring the salt shaker up to your mouth to pose as a microphone. “I’m never gonna dance again,” you croon out, reaching your hand up to run it down Namjoon’s unamused face. “The way I dance with youuu-”

“Ehem.”

The sound of a throat clearing prompts you to whip around, sodium mic still in hand, only to find yourself face-to-face, or rather face-to-bald-spot with your manager.

Despite his looming presence in the restaurant, Manager Bang’s physical stature doesn’t quite hold the same imposing quality. His wispy black hair reaches just about eye-level for you, and though this sometimes causes your neck to ache when you have to stare down at him for extended periods of time, it does mean that on this one particular occasion you are able to see over his head into the large brown doe eyes of whom you can assume is your trainee for the day.

The round eyes blink at you when you meet their gaze, remaining for what is likely considered a moment too long before your attention snaps back down to Manager Bang.

“Y/N, this is Jungkook. Jungkook, Y/N. She will be your trainer for today.”

“Hello.” the young boy named Jungkook smiles out, exposing a cute set of bunny-like teeth, and you can’t help the tug at your lips as you continue to take in his soft young features.

“Welcome.” you beam back, realizing you still have the salt shaker held up to your face. You quickly set the offending object back down onto the table before wiping your palms down your apron.

“Y/N is one of our strongest servers, and also our best host.” your manager relays to Jungkook.

“I’m the only host.” you correct.

“Making you the best!” Manager Bang proclaims.

“And the worst.” Namjoon digs from behind you.

You throw an elbow back, hoping to catch Namjoon in the side, but are met with only air and a self-satisfied chuckle from the waiter.

“She will teach you everything you need to know before tonight.” your manager directs towards Jungkook, to which he nods sweetly.

“Okay, then! Y/N, I trust you’ll mold this boy into an upright employee with your delicately skilled hands.” Bang booms as you try to hide your distaste with his peculiar choice of metaphor. “If you have any questions, I’ll be in the back.” Manager Bang announces before slipping past you. “And Namjoon, clean this mess up.”

“Yes, sir.”

You shoot a cocky smile back to Namjoon before turning your attention to Jungkook, who now has his bottom lip tucked under his teeth.

“Okay!” you clasp your hands in front of you and rock back onto your heels. “So, with that lovely image in our heads, have you worked in a restaurant before?”

“Uhm,” he speaks shyly while scratching at the back of his neck. “No, I’m actually- th-this is my first job like this.”

His mannerisms and slight stutter all serve to accentuate how damn young he looks, and though you fear his answer may sully your pride, your curiosity ultimately gets the best of you.

“Jungkook, if you don’t mind me asking, how old are you?”

“I just turned 21.” The corner of his lip turns upwards.

“Ah, I see,” you say, suddenly becoming hyper-aware of the crows feet around your eyes that you spotted this morning. “That makes you the youngest here then.”

“Is that bad?” Jungkook questions innocently.

“No, not at all.” you wave your hands. “Everyone’s cool. No initiation bullshit,” you say as you throw a glare Namjoon’s way, and though he doesn’t lift his head, the shrug he gives confirms that he knows you were speaking to him.

Rather than speak, Jungkook simply nods.

“Alright, so a tour!” you announce, turning away from the boy to face the open restaurant floor. “This is the main seating area,” you say as you fan your arm over the booths and tables that take up a majority of the floor space. “This is my section,” you say pointing to the booths at the middle of the restaurant, “in the center because I’m the best.” you joke loud enough for Namjoon to overhear. He clucks his tongue but doesn’t bother to start a feud.

“That section is usually Namjoon’s, who happens to be that beaming ball of light over there.” you gesture in Namjoon’s direction and he sends a lethargic wave back to Jungkook. “And the patio is usually Hoseok’s, who you’ll meet tonight.”

“Only three of you?” Jungkook questions.

“Two for the lunch shift,” you correct. “Three on dinner. Yoongi our bartender and Taehyung our busser can serve if we need them, but Yoongi is a grump, and Tae is...well.”

“He’s Tae.” Namjoon finishes for you.

“I guess I’ll find out what that means later.” Jungkook laughs.

“Oh, I’m sure you will.”

Jungkook trails close behind you as you walk him through the restaurant, pointing out different sections and features he’ll have to know. He follows obediently, and though he doesn’t speak much, he has a habit of humming confirmations when you’re explaining something. Which is why halfway through the tour, when you’re walking Jungkook into the kitchen, you notice the absence of his cute little hums. You cast a glance over your shoulder to make sure you haven’t lost him only to find his eyes aimed down at an angle. Is he staring at my...You halt your steps suddenly so that the boy almost bumps into you. His head speedily snaps up to your face, eyes wide enough to be telling of his misdemeanor.

You raise your brow to him as a slight smirk pulls at your lips. If he had been anyone else in this restaurant you would laugh out loud at his obvious gawking, but you spare the young boy the embarrassment. Besides, it’s not like you minded a young twenty-something checking you out. You owned these pants partially for that effect in the first place. Jungkook stutters as if he’s about to apologize, but you simply cut him off to begin explaining the different sections of the kitchen, though you can see his face getting redder with shame by the second. Cute.

“Ah, Y/N. You’re up early!” a voice calls out from the kitchen, pulling your attention away from the riveting explanation of the dishwashing station you had been giving.

“Jin!” you beam as the broad man rounds the corner to pull you to his side. “How are you feeling?” your tone suddenly laced with a hint concern.

“Why is everyone talking to me like that this morning?” Jin glances with wide eyes down to you. “Did something happen last night?”

“Wait, you don’t remember the thing?”

“What thing?” Jin questions.

“Last night, when you and Namjoon- you know what, nevermind.” you puff out a breath of air. “Jin, this is our new host, Jungkook!”

Jin glances skeptically at you before turning to Jungkook to shake his hand.

“Good to meet you.” he shoots out at Jungkook. “Is Y/N playing nice today?”

Jungkook’s scrunches his brows as he babbles, “She’s, uh yeah-”

“I’m always nice, Jin. Don’t give him the wrong impression.”

Jin snorts, “Oh yeah? What about the other night when Jimin hit on that hot mom from your section.”

You click your tongue in disdain. “I only slapped him because he said he deserved half the tips for that table!”

“Or how about what you did to Tae last month when he caught you and Hoseok-”

“Okay! Nice chatting with you, Jin!” you shout over him as you guide Jungkook by his arm towards the walk-in refrigerator.

“What did Jin and Namjoon do last night?” Jungkook asks under his breath as you tug him away.

“I’ll tell you later.”

The training session continues like this. You wind your way through the restaurant with Jungkook in tow. He scribbles down the occasional note on his training manual, but mostly he just listens and nods, a large contrast to the noisy boys you’re so accustomed to working with. Up until you are showing him the storage cellar of the restaurant you’re sure he’s only uttered a handful of sentences.

“You don’t talk a lot, do you, Jungkook?” you inquire as you start pulling paper towels off of the shelf to bring back up to the restaurant.

“Oh,” you hear Jungkook shuffle behind you. “I’m sorry.”

You laugh, placing a bag of after-dinner mints on top of your pile. “Nothing to apologize for. I’m just curious.”

“I’m actually not that quiet.” Jungkook rubs at his neck. “It just takes me a while when I meet new people. I-I’m pretty introverted.”

“I understand,” you say, brushing off your knees as you stand back up. “I’m exactly the same.”

Jungkook’s brow twitches upwards. “You? I don’t believe that.”

“What? Why not?” you tilt your head. “Are you calling me loud?”

Jungkook laughs, “No, not loud. I just can’t imagine you as an introvert. You’re so...social.”

You scoff at that. “Oh, you don’t know me that well, kid. I am the queen of asociality.”

“Oh, yeah?” Jungkook’s tone suggests the hint of a  challenge, and you are more than prepared to prove your social inadequacy.

“One time,” you pridefully begin, “I spent 45 hours in my room playing The Sims.”

“Oh, that’s nothing!” Jungkook brushes off your attempt. “Try a 72-hour overwatch marathon.”

You step closer as you cross your arms over your chest. You refuse to be out-lonered by a mere child. “I canceled going to a wedding last week to binge watch all the Harry Potters.”

Jungkook meets your steps and looks down at you from the bridge of his nose. “I failed out of one of my classes because I was refused to do the group work.”

“I only have two close friends.” you shoot back.

“I have one.” Jungkook cocks his head to the side, willing you to beat him.

“One time,” you smile, prodding your finger against Jungkook’s chest, “I went so long without talking to anyone that my mom filed a missing persons report.”

Jungkook’s mouth drops open. “Is that true?”

“Scouts honor,” you say, holding up three fingers.

“Are you even a scout?” Jungkook snorts.

“What does that matter?”

“What does that matt- it doesn’t mean anything if you aren’t a scout.” Jungkook garbles out.

You shrug as you turn to pick up your pile of items.“I always thought it was a figure of speech. Like, ‘time is money’ or ‘nip it in the butt.’”

“It’s ‘bud.’” Jungkook corrects you.

“What?” you pause mid-lift. “No, it’s ‘butt.’ Why would it be ‘bud?’”

“‘Bud’, as in cutting off the bud of a plant before it can grow,” Jungkook argues. “Why would it be ‘butt’? Like you’re going to bite a butt?”

“Well, I don’t know what you’re into,” you mumble as you shift the weight of the objects in your grip.

“Here, let me help you,” Jungkook says as he grabs almost everything you had gathered in your arms, leaving you with just two paper towel rolls.

“Jungkook, how am I supposed to withhold my authority over you if you just take my work.” you feign offense as you wave your paper towels above your head.

“Oh, sorry. May I please carry these for you, Ma’am.” Jungkook bows his head to you.

“Ew,” you cringe as you tap the bottom of Jungkook’s chin with your index finger, urging him to look back up. “Don’t call me mam.”

“Yes, sir.” Jungkook flashes his bunny teeth at you, and you mentally curse at your stomach for the backflip it does.

**

“Opening and closing hours for the restaurant?”

“12 to 10 Sundays and Mondays, and 11 to 11 Tuesdays through Saturdays.” Jungkook rattles off without hesitation.

“Good,” you praise. “And what is the proper term for the patrons of our restaurant?”

“Guests,” Jungkook answers readily.

“Excellent! We never refer to them as?”

“Customers.”

“Nice, Jungkook! Your quizzes are all finished.” you beam at the boy sitting across from you. “Do you feel ready for tonight?”

“I think so,” Jungkook says while thumbing through the pages of the employee handbook.

“You’re going to be fine. And if you need help I’ll be on the floor all night,” you assure him as you pick up the empty basket of fries you had shared from the center of the table. “So, I have to start getting ready for my shift, but seriously if you need me for anything-”

“I’ll come to find you.” Jungkook finishes.

“Good.” you nod, turning away to head to the kitchen, but Jungkook calling out your name triggers you to look back in question.

“Thank you for helping me today.” Jungkook’s shy smile returns to his face.

Your face suddenly seems to flush with heat, and you silently pray it’s because you’re coming down with something.

“Anytime, Jungkook.”

By 5 o’clock Jungkook has settled into his spot at the host stand. You watch him nervously eye the door as you clean down the tables at your section. You momentarily consider going over to give him a little pep talk before the rush kicks in just to boost his confidence, but it’s not at all because you want to catch a glimpse of his incredibly endearing smile again. That would be stupid.

You’re readjusting the drink menus for the third time when a voice from behind you nearly causes you to faceplant into the table.

“Hey, Y/N!” a far too peppy Hoseok chirps from behind you.

“Jesus, Hoseok!” you say standing up to straighten your apron. “How many times have I told you not to sneak up behind me?”

“Oh, someone’s a little grumpy today,” he says, lifting his hand out to deliver a pinch to your cheek which you swiftly slap away.

“Don’t play with me, I’m on a double shift today.” you groan, massaging the tight muscle in your shoulder.

“Why? Are we short-staffed?” Hoseok asks, letting his eyes linger on your exposed neck for a moment while you roll your head to the side.

“No, I was training the new kid.”

“New kid?” Hoseok whips his head around to seek out the new face. When he spots Jungkook over at the host stand his eyebrows raise up. “Oh, he’s just a baby!”

“He’s not that young!” you say defensively before you can stop yourself.

Hoseok’s eyes quickly move back to your reddening face. He pauses for a moment before a sly smile pulls at the edge of his lips.

“Oh,” he tilts his head, “I see.”

“What? See what? There’s nothing to see!” you garble out.

“Oh yeah? Because your cheeks are about as red as Tae’s eyes when he’s baked.”

“Wha- You-” you stutter out. “I’ll show you red.” you threaten as you rise to your tippy toes to squeeze Hoseok’s cheeks between your fingers, but he quickly bats them away.

“Y/N, as much as I enjoy your sweet caresses I actually wanted to ask you something.”

You lower your heels back down to the ground, letting your hand swing limply to your side. “Shoot.”

“Well, there’s this party on Thursday-”

“Hoseok.” you try to cut him off.

“And I was thinking that maybe-”

“Hoseok, no.” you grab the wrist of his gesturing hand to stop him. “You can’t be serious.”

“Why not! We haven’t gone out in over a month.” Hoseok begins to bring his free hand up to your waist before remembering you’re at work and dropping it back down.

“Yeah, and do you have any recollection of why it’s been that long?”

Hoseok pouts his lips out as if he’s thinking before shaking his head innocently.

“Hoseoook,” you drag out his name in annoyance. “I can’t keep doing this.”

“Doing what? I thought what we had going was pretty good!” Hoseok brings his hand up to squeeze at your hip quickly before releasing it.

“Oh yeah?” you ask with a false cheerfulness. “And at Jackson’s party, was it going good then too?”

“Jackson’s party? Y/N, that was just-”

“Hoseok,” you interrupt, “you don’t owe me an explanation, you aren’t my boyfriend. But I just- can we talk about this later?”

Hoseok takes a step closer to grab the wrist you had been wringing between your clenched fist. “Okay, but-”

“Uhm, Y/N?” a soft voice calls from behind you.

Your head spins to look over your shoulder only to be greeted with the sight of a wide-eyed Jungkook.

“I’m, uh, seating you at table 23.”

You cock your head to the side to find that there is indeed an older couple standing just behind Jungkook eyeing you suspiciously. You immediately shake Hoseok’s hand from your wrist and spin on your heel, a wide practiced smile breaking out over your face.

“Oh, welcome!” you spew out, as they slide into the booth. “Can I start you with some waters?”

Hoseok tucks his hands into his apron as he passes swiftly behind you, and you do your best to ignore the burn of his stare you feel against your cheek.

The rush hits the restaurant like a semi-truck that night. The decked out kind with all those fancy little lights and a bunk for the driver to sleep in. Having just you, Namjoon, and Hoseok on the floor was a big mistake, and you make a mental note to tell manager Bang that in an only slightly passive-aggressive text later.

Your party of 12 has just spilled something sticky on the floor when another table calls you over with the snap of two perfectly manicured fingers. They brusquely inquire about the location of their second entree, claiming they had been waiting over half an hour even though you know for goddam certain you punched in their order less than 15 minutes ago.

“Let me check right on that for you, okay?” you beam out before stomping your way over to the kitchen.

Upon entering the area, you find that dishes have begun to pile up on the expo line. Though you’d normally refrain from pointing fingers, you can’t help but notice that Taehyung has been recruited from his usual assigned post of bussing to running food to tables, which may potentially probably is the reason that two entrees and a side of mashed potatoes have gotten lost tonight.

“Tae!” you call out as he’s gathering three dishes onto a tray.

His head cocks up to acknowledge that he’s listening without stopping his work.

“Where’s Jackson? Isn’t he supposed to be running tonight?”

“Called out,” Taehyung mutters.

“Son-of-a… that’s the second time this week!” you complain to the dead air. “Okay, well when you get a second could you ask Jimin to bus table 21?”

“Mm,” Taehyung grunts in a way that does little to put you at ease.

You watch for a moment as Taehyung is about to lift his tray up when you notice that the dishes on it are not evenly spaced.

“Wait, Tae! You can’t-” you dive in just in time as the heavy tray starts to tip to the side. Your hand supports the weighty edge to prevent the dishes from spilling over, and besides the bit of scaldingly hot soup that has splashed onto your arm, all the dishes are safe and sound. A woosh of air escapes your lips as you help a frenzied Taehyung bring the tray back to the stand.

“Holy shit! Thanks, Y/N.” he gasps. “Bang would’ve had me killed.” Tae glances up to you as he speaks, and that’s when you notice the red glassiness that is painting the whites of his eyes.

“Tae, are you fucking stoned?” you hiss out to avoid anyone else hearing you.

“I-I’m,” he stutters out as you attempt to burn a hole in his nose with your heated stare. “I thought I would just be bussing today! I didn’t think it’d be a big deal.”

You roll your eyes as you quickly re-adjust the plates on the tray, and set two more on the forearm and palm of your opposite hand. You slide your hand to the underside of the tray before lifting all the dishes with a display of balance that only comes with the experience of too many damn years in this industry.

“You owe me for this.” you shoot back at Taehyung who watches in awe.

You quickly drop the dishes to the assigned tables in Namjoon and Hoseok’s sections before making a mad dash back to the kitchen to recover your missing entree.

“Hey, Jin!” you yell into the smoky abyss. “Where’s my clam linguine?”

“Did you check the system?” is what echoes through the exposed window a moment later, though all you can see is the back of a fry cook’s head.

You glance to the screen on your right to find that your dish is four items away from being ready.

“It says you’re making it!” you shout back.

“So we’re making it!”

“Seokjin, please! I got this woman on my back.” you groan into the window.

“Yeah, me too,” Jin says as he appears in front of you, hair pushed back into a black cap. “And I’m looking at her.”

You blow a strand of hair out of your face, realizing that you need to reassess your tactic.

“Wow, Jin,” you say as you bat your eyelashes at him. “Did I ever tell you how handsome you are?”

“Are you trying to woo your way to the front of the line, Y/N?”

“Me? Well, I’d never,” you say in an adopted southern accent.

“Work on your acting. Here’s your clams.” Jin says as he passes you a plate through the window.

“Oh my god, I love you!” you say grasping the plate.

“Yeah, don’t spread that around, okay? It’ll ruin my cred.”

You stick your tongue out at him before turning away to drop the plate at your table before making your way over to the bar. You make a quick pass by Jungkook who is hunched over the hostess stand. Stressed is an understatement if the shakiness of his hand crossing names from the waitlist is any indication. A sense of guilt washes over you for possibly not having trained him well enough for this, though, realistically it was Manager Bangs fault for starting him on a Friday night. That passive aggressive text is getting upgraded to a mildly-veiled threatening text.

“Hey, Jungkook!” you call out as you walk by. “Bump the wait to 30 minutes. The kitchen could use a break.”

“Oh, okay,” he says, nodding stiffly at you.

You smile and stride over to him to place a hand on the back of his tight neck, pressing into it lightly.

“Loosen up, you’re doing a great job,” you say as you bump your hip into his.

When he mirrors your smile to expose his bunny teeth you feel your chest jump, and you swiftly lift your hand away from him, suddenly realizing that the lack of distance you had created might not be the best choice. With a quick pivot, you head off to the bar.

“Oh,” you call back as an afterthought. “Will you get a busser on table 21?”

“Yeah, no problem!”

You shoot a thanks back to Jungkook as you walk into the bar, the familiar sight of an unamused Yoongi behind the counter bringing a grin to your face.

“Oh, Yoongiii-”

“Don’t start with me, Y/N.” he cuts in bluntly.

You feign a gasp as you press a hand to your chest. “Why, Yoongi. I’m hurt. I haven’t even done anything to you yet.”

“Your fucking tables are running me up the wall.” the gray-haired man gripes, his tongue running the length of his cheek in aggravation. “Stop pushing the cocktails so hard.”

“Hey there, grumpy puss. Cocktails mean tips. And also, watch your language. There are children present.” you warn, nodding your head towards a family sat at one of the bar booths.

“What? Jungkook can’t hear me from all the way over there.”

Your mouth drops open in indignation. “He’s not that young!”

“Oh.” Yoongi smirks at your flustered face. “So, Hoseok was right. You have a thing for the new kid.”

“Don’t start.” You wrinkle your nose at Yoongi’s smug face. “And anyway, he’s only a few years younger than you, old man.”

“Yeah, whatever you say, Mariah Carey,” Yoongi says turning back to his drink order screen.

“Mariah Car- Excuse me, but if I’m going to be a cougar I’d like to consider myself more of a Demi Moore,” you argue.

“You wish.” Yoongi taps the screen to life only to groan in response to the items coming up on his list. You can see that your party of twelve’s drink orders fill up a majority of his screen, but it’s too late to duck away in shame before Yoongi is turning back to you.

“Y/N,” he exhales, making you wince. “You’re a beautiful girl, and you know I care very much for your tip percentage, especially because it feeds into mine. But if one more of your customers orders a goddamn frozen margarita, I’m going to shove it so far-”

“Woah, Woah there, mister. First of all, they’re guests.”

“I actually might stab you.” Yoongi groans, sliding a martini towards you.

“So long as the blood doesn’t get in the drinks.” you wink as you place the martinis Yoongi prepared on your tray.

“You better tip me out well today,” Yoongi grumbles out as you turn to exit the bar.

“Is that all I am to you, Yoongi? A source of income?”

“Don’t forget ‘massive thorn in my side.’”

A giggle escapes your lips as you slide through the bar doors.

“Did the bussers clean table 21 yet, Jungkook?” you ask as you pass by the host stand.

“Jimin said he’s on it.” the slightly less frantic looking host relays.

“Mm,” you hum skeptically as you make your way to your table to pass out drinks.

Upon reaching your table 21, you find that it is, in fact, still not clean. A mix of a sigh and a grunt leave your mouth as you glance around the restaurant in search of the blonde haired suspect. Your scanning stops when you spot the accused chatting up one of the guests by the bathroom, and your legs are moving before you prompt them to.

You catch Jimin’s attention when you’re just feet away from him, his eyes widening in panic as his back turns to press against the wall he had been previously leaning against. You close in on him until there are just a few inches separating, willing him to look up at your towering figure.

“Hi.” you greet with a pep in your voice that serves as a strong contrast to your invasive stance.

“Uh, Y/N-” he squirms, feeling uncomfortable with your aggressively joyous demeanor.

“Can I show you something?” you cut Jimin off, tilting your head to the side.

“U-uhm, yeah.” Jimin stutters out before turning to the girl. “I’ll talk to you lat-”

“Okay, let’s go.” you jump in, placing a heavy grip on his shoulder, guiding him back towards the dining area.

Once you’re out of earshot of the guest, you let your face drop.

“What the hell are you doing, Jimin?” you spit out. “Can’t you keep your dick in your pants for one shift?”

“I can assure you Y/N, my dick is very much in my pants.” Jimin mocks, glancing down at his crotch.

“Well, I can assure you that it won’t be for much longer when I chop it off.”

“Yikes.” Jimin recoils from the grasp you have on your shoulder.

You reach up to massage at your shoulder once you reach your table, exhaling a breath as you dig into the tight muscle. “Sorry, Jimin. I’m just stressed about making my rent this month. I need to pull good tips this week, which means I need all the tables I can get.” you admit. “I don’t mean to go all psycho on you.”

Jimin eyes the way you roll your neck, suddenly filled with remorse for causing more stress to you. You roll your shoulders back before bending over to start clearing off some plates.

“No, wait Y/N. I should do it.” Jimin makes a move to grab the plates from your hand.

“Don’t worry, Chim. It’s faster if we both do it anyway,” you assure him, stacking another empty plate onto your forearm.

“Fine.” Jimin relents. “But, at least let me buy you a drink to make up for it tonight.”

You kick your head to the side to get a strand of hair out of your face, bringing your eyes up to Jimin’s. “Fine.” you smile lightly.

“Good,” he says, grabbing the stack of plates from your grip. “And then maybe after I can help massage out your shoulder.”

“Jimin.” your voice sinks to a warning tone.

“Fine, sorry. It was worth a shot.”

You scoff, a smile pulling at your lips as you turn away from the younger boy to start wiping down your table.

**

Jungkook’s body molds easily into the pleather backing of the booth he’s secured in the employee break area, which is really just a set of tables tucked into the corner of the restaurant. He plops his sandwich that he ordered from you onto the table in front of him before stretching his arms above his head, an exaggerated groan leaving his mouth.

This first shift had fully been kicking his ass so far. He could already feel the ache of his legs from all the standing and running around he had done today. He hadn’t expected a hosting job to be so chaotic. In fact, when his mom sent him out to find a job to help with his tuition payments he had chosen this job because he figured it’d be easy money. It seems like the restaurant gods were laughing at him now for doubting the difficulty of the position.

It certainly could have been much worse though, Jungkook considers. Luckily, you had been there to swoop in multiple times that night and save his ass when he had screwed up.

Watching you fly across the restaurant, handling not only your job but picking up the slack of others made Jungkook have a whole new appreciation for serving, and especially for you. The way you handled yourself was different than anyone he had met before, and he knew that you were probably just being friendly with the way you treated him, but he just couldn’t seem to get your damn smile out of his head.

The image induces a goofy grin to bloom across Jungkook’s face as he reaches to pick up his sandwich, but the sound of a voice to his side quickly snaps him out of his thoughts.

“Hey!” Hoseok says as he pulls out a chair to drop into. “Jungkook was it?”

“Yeah, and you’re Hoseok?” Jungkook asks as he brings the corner of his sandwich to his mouth. Of course, he already knows that. He’s been seating guests in his section all night, but he sticks to the formality anyway.

“Yeah, nice to meet you.” Hoseok shoots a bright smile at the young boy. “So, how are you liking the place so far?”

“It’s good! A lot to take in, but, uh, I had a good teacher.” Jungkook smiles down towards his food, an action that elicits a head tilt from Hoseok.

“Yeah, Y/N’s something, isn’t she?” Hoseok pops a fry in his mouth while keeping his gaze on Jungkook’s face.

“Yeah, she’s- she’s really cool.”

The older server watches as a shy grin breaks out across the younger’s face, and begs him to clear his tightening throat.

“So, what rules has Y/N taught you so far?” Hoseok inquires as he leans back in his chair.

“Rules?” Jungkook raises a curious eyebrow at him before answering. “Uhm, don’t eat the after-dinner mints.” Jungkook recounts.

“That’s what I thought.” Hoseok rolls his eyes. “Okay, Jungkook. I’m gunna give you the lowdown on this place. Just some friendly tips.”

Jungkook swallows hard as he eyes the way Hoseok scoots himself closer to the table, hunching forward slightly as if he’s about to divulge something confidential. “What kind of tips?”

Hoseok brushes his finger along his bottom lip as he considers the question. “Think of this as an unofficial employee handbook.”

“Oh. Okay.” Jungkook wipes his mouth on the back of his hand.

“Alright, so the first rule,” Hoseok says as he props an elbow up on the table with his index finger extended.

Jungkook leans in over his sandwich, fully attentive.

“Don’t piss off Min Yoongi.”

“Min Yoongi,” Jungkook repeats. “He’s the bartender, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right. Don’t let looks deceive you. He might be small, but he can cut you down faster than anyone, trust me.” Hoseok side-eyes the bartender across the lobby.

“What do you mean?” Jungkook asks, his brow furrowed with concern.

“Let’s just say the last employee that messed with him had to be referred to a therapist once Yoongi was finished with him.”

“Wow.” Jungkook exhales. “Is the guy okay now?”

“He’s- well actually, no one really knows,” Hoseok crinkles his brow trying to think. “The company was mad because they had to pay for the sessions, but Yoongi never got nailed for it.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah, he’s a softie most of the time. Just don’t get on his bad side.”

Jungkook tears another bite off his sandwich and nods.

“Alrighty, rule number two. This one’s more for our own safety.”

“Okay,” Jungkook says around a mouthful of bread.

“Don’t let Namjoon near knives.” Hoseok crosses his hands into an X over his chest for emphasis.

“What?” Jungkook cocks his head. “But he’s a server. He has to use knives.”

“Nope, not him. Bang made it a rule after he nearly degloved his finger cutting into a guest’s birthday cake.”

Jungkook winces just at the term alone. “What does deglove-”

“Don’t mind that, all you need to know is it’s not pretty.” Hoseok waves Jungkook off. “So, if you see Namjoon with a knife, come find me or Y/N and we’ll handle him. We’re debating extending this rule to Taehyung, but I’ll keep you updated.”

Jungkook hums in agreement.

Hoseok clasps his hands together and rubs his palms before continuing. “Okay, last rule, and probably the most important.”

Jungkook reaches for a sip of his water as he keeps his eyes on Hoseok.

“No incestuous work relationships,” Hoseok says with a straight face.

“No incestu-” Jungkook coughs into his glass. His eyes water as he clears his throat, ridding it of the offending liquid. “So, you mean no dating?”

“No dating, no hookups.” Hoseok nods.

“Oh.” Jungkook clears his throat again as his sights unintentionally jump over to where you’re chatting with Yoongi at the bar.

“Don’t even think about it, kid,” Hoseok says as his eyes follow Jungkook’s. “She’s off limits.”

“I wasn’t-” Jungkook starts, turning his large eyes back to Hoseok.

“It’s okay, We’ve all been ther- Well, wanted to be there before.” Hoseok laughs. “You know how these things go. If it were to get ugly it’d make work pretty awkward, right?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook nods, “right.”

“Just looking out for you, bud.” Hoseok outstretches his hand for Jungkook to accept.

“Yeah, no I appreciate it,” Jungkook says as he slides his palm against Hoseok’s.

“Alright, well I gotta head back in, I’m just on my 5. But me and a few of the others are grabbing drinks after the shift if you want to join.” Hoseok offers as he collects his plate from the table, his hand smoothing out the crease in his apron.

“Okay,” Jungkook smiles up at the older man. “I’ll be there.”

**

[Hoseok: 11:12] Heading out in a sec babe. Just rolling silverware now.

Babe. You try not to snort at your screen. You had been cut just before the restaurant closed, along with Jungkook, Namjoon, and Jimin. The four of you had headed over to a local bar to secure a table before everyone else got off the clock.

Hoseok made sure to catch you before you left to ask if you were joining them for drinks, and when you confirmed he told you he’d text you. A man of his word, as uncharacteristic as that may be, his text lit up your phone that had been perched on the table to your side. You continue to stare at the text without unlocking your phone before picking it up off the table and tucking it back into your pocket. He knows you’re here already, no need to answer him.

Rather, you turn your attention back to Jungkook who is seated next to you, dress sleeves rolled up and beer in hand. You will yourself not to drool at the prominent vein that twists in his forearm each time he lifts his bottle from the table, but your self-control seems to be at an all-time-low tonight. You’d blame it on the shitty shift, but you’re pretty sure it’s just a result of the boy in front of you.

In the atmosphere of your stuffy restaurant, it was quite easy to mistake Jungkook for a young kid. His sweet demeanor was likely what landed him the job in the first place. But now with his shirt collar unbuttoned and his ruffled hair pushed back from his face it was hard to imagine him as anything other than a handsome young man. Really handsome. Devastatingly so. You grip tighter to your glass of bourbon, trying to clear the thoughts from your head.

“So, you were telling me about your major?” you say, bringing the cool rim of the glass to your lips.

“Yeah, video game design.” Jungkook nods. “I’ve loved video games since I was in diapers, so I figured this was the most noble route to take to justify my obsession.”

“Well, it is noble. It’ll force more people into my chair when their eyes start to go bad.” you laugh, crossing your legs under the table.

“Oh, so you’re an ophthalmologist?” Jungkook perks up.

“Soon to be, I hope.” you sigh, running your finger along the rim of your glass. “I’m paying my way through, so it’ll take me a while to save up enough.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you’re the best waiter we have then.” Jungkook smiles warmly at you, and you mirror the action without trying.

“I resent that,” Namjoon calls from his seat across the table where he is chatting with Jimin.

“He means waitress,” you call back to Namjoon.

“You’re the only waitress,” Jimin states.

“Making her the best!” Jungkook adds.

“And the wors-”

“Oh my god, where’s the off switch?” you whine, tipping your head back to down the last few sips of your drink. Your throat burns from the sweet alcohol, but you welcome the feeling. As you bring your head back down, you notice a nice little film glazing over your vision now that you sit at a comfortable level of tipsiness.

Jungkook laughs at your expense, and the way his eyes crinkle at the corners makes your face heat up. You lean over to poke his thigh, imploring him to cease his taunting, but as you press your finger firmly to his thigh muscle you’re met only with pain as your finger bends back at an uncomfortable angle.

“Ow, what in the world?” you pull your hand back to your chest as if you had been burned. “Are you made of marble or something?”

“Carved by Leo himself.” Jungkook chuckles at your act of holding your limp hand.

“Da Vinci?” you question.

“No, Dicaprio. Da Vinci didn’t sculpt.”

“Oh and Dicaprio does?” you laugh.

“I’m sure that he’s capable, he’s a man of many talents.”

“Yeah, he sure is,” you say cocking an eyebrow up slowly.

“What? Don’t be weird, he’s like twice your age.” Jungkook twists his face sourly.

“What can I say,” you taunt as you tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. “I have a thing for older guys.”

Jungkook chokes on the beer that he had just tipped into his mouth as you bite down on your tongue to silence your giggles.

“What’s so great about older guys?” Jungkook asks as he brings a napkin up to his mouth to wipe the dribble of liquid from his chin.

“I don’t know. They just seem to know what they’re doing, you know?” you continue to tease.

Truthfully, you hadn’t intended the conversation to head in this direction, but you were thoroughly enjoying the way Jungkook was getting riled up.

“Age doesn’t necessarily relate to competence.” Jungkook challenges while twisting his beer bottle back and forth by its neck, and please god stop looking at his arm.

“Well, I’ve never been given an example that proves otherwise.” you challenge, wishing that you were truly joking.

“You’re probably just looking in the wrong places.” Jungkook shrugs before taking a sip of his beer. “Besides, us young ones have more stamina.”

Your jaw goes slack as you try your best not to let your thoughts linger at the underlying intention of his words, but it’s difficult when Jungkook is watching your face for a reaction. You’re about to mumble out some half-assed remark about lasting ability when someone suddenly drops into the seat to your right, making you jump in surprise.

“Oh, fuck Hoseok! You scared me. Again.” you exhale as he brings his hand across the back of your chair.

“Oops, sorry.” he quips, clearly not sorry at all. He too has stripped down from his work uniform. His shirt slightly wrinkled from the day’s work and his hair parted around his face to reveal his forehead. You wish like mad that you didn’t see him as attractive, but alas, you find yourself once again gripped by his crushingly handsome features.

“Bang held me late. Didn’t you get my messages?” Hoseok inquires, letting his eyes linger on your bare legs for a moment before lifting back to your face.

“I, uh, put my phone away.” you offer lamely.

Hoseok clicks his tongue as he brings his hands down to the seat of his chair to scoot it closer towards the table. You think nothing of it, but it isn’t until you feel the brush of his finger against the outside of your naked thigh that you become fully aware of his proximity to you.

“So, what were you guys chatting about?” Hoseok pries, running his fingertip down to your knee.

You shift your leg under the table to halt his movements, but it simply urges his to grip onto your knee to still it.

“Uh, Leonardo Dicaprio,” you answer in an attempt to keep the conversation flowing. You shoot Hoseok a warning glance, silently imploring him to stop, but he avoids it by keeping his eyes trained on Jungkook.

“Yeah, Y/N has a thing for him.” Jungkook chuckles, unaware of your sudden change in demeanor.

“Is that so?” Hoseok teases with a squeeze to the soft muscle above your kneecap. “You never told me about that.”

“It’s, uh, nothing serious. We haven’t even set a date yet.” you joke, trying to distract yourself from the way Hoseok was massaging his fingers into the flesh of your thigh.

“She says that she prefers older men.” Jungkook continues to taunt, fully oblivious to the way your spine has straightened against the back of your chair, and how your hands are now anchored on your seat.

Hoseok’s fingers dig into the smooth skin of your inner thigh as he slowly sneaks them further up your leg. The skirt of your work uniform providing next to no barrier from the onslaught of his movements.

“Well, I’m not so sure that’s true.” Hoseok replies, his voice dipping in tone.

You wish like hell you didn’t enjoy this, that you could swat away his hand or even call him out. But the truth was that you had been craving his touch since you last felt it over a month ago. The familiar pressure of his fingers on your skin immediately drew a reaction from your body, as if it had been trained to respond to him. You could sense how you were heating up, a warmth blooming under the grip of Hoseok’s hand.

The tickle of his fingers at the hem of your skirt makes goosebumps break out across your legs, and you try to hide the shiver that runs through you. You vaguely realize that Hoseok and Jungkook are talking, but the haze of your mind has caused you to lose track of the conversation.

You’re trying to rid your head of its fog when Hoseok suddenly dips his hand beneath your skirt. His pinky and ring finger brush lightly against your clothed core, causing your already useless mind to go completely blank. The sensation urges you to take in a sharp inhale, your chest rising harshly with the sudden intake of breath. You sense Jungkook’s eyes move to your face from where they had previously been focused on Hoseok, but you drop your head to your lap to deflect his stares.

Your break in resolve does nothing to halt Hoseok’s efforts though. He pulls Jungkook’s attention back to him with a laugh as his hand continues to lift your skirt higher up onto your thighs. Your breath comes in short puffs as you anticipate his next movement, and when his fingers tap your sensitive clit, even over the barrier of your panties, the sensation shoots pleasurably through your core, forcing your thighs to clench around his intruding hand. Your jaw slackens, and the feeling in your chest threatens to bubble out in the form of a moan, but you hide it in time with a forced cough. You feel Jungkook’s eyes look to you again and suddenly your rational mind comes back full force yelling at you for being an idiot. Though every muscle in your body is begging you to stay, you know you have to stop this.

Without a second thought, you plant your palms on the edge of the table to push your chair back, the legs of your seat scratching noisily on the hard floor. Hoseok’s hand hastily retreats from your skirt back to his lap as your legs become visible from under the table.

Your actions must have lacked any and all subtlety because upon standing you notice that all your coworkers’ eyes, even those you hadn’t noticed arriving, have now turned to you.

“Uhm, bathroom.” you offer awkwardly as you feel your cheeks burn from the attention.

Your steps are hurried as you make your way to the darkened hallways leading to the restrooms, only stopping once your hidden in the dim light. You press your back to the wall to ease some of the weight from your wobbly legs, cursing at Hoseok for being able to affect you with so little effort on his part.

You’re taking a deep inhale to steady your breathing when you hear footsteps approaching, but you keep your head tilted back against the wall already having expected the perpetrator to follow you here.

“What do you want, Hoseok?” you mumble with your eyes closed.

“I just think we should talk.” the familiar voice responds from a few feet in front of you. You finally lift your head to look at the boy whose dark eyes are hidden partially from the shadow his bangs are casting on his face.

“I don’t know about you, but I usually talk with my mouth. Not my fingers.” you cock your brow to accentuate your annoyance.

“Sorry,” Hoseok apologizes, taking a step closer to you. “Fuck, I’m sorry. It’s just been a while. I’m not thinking straight.”

“Well, if you can’t keep your hands to yourself then you probably shouldn’t be around me.”

Hoseok looks down at your arms you’ve folded over your chest. The emotion he’s conveying on his face being something akin to a kicked puppy, but you refuse to fold.

“Are you really that mad at me?” Hoseok asks as he furrows his brow.

A heavy sigh escapes your lips as you lift one arm to press into your tight shoulder. “I’m not mad, Hoseok. You can be with whoever you want.”

“But you are mad, otherwise you wouldn’t be avoiding me like this.” Hoseok attempts to reason.

He takes another step forward to place his hand over the one you had been pressing into your shoulder, nudging it gently to the side to replace your fingers with his own. The pressure of his deft fingers massaging into your tight muscles is worlds better than your own, and you have to resist moaning when he twists his fingertips into a particularly tough knot.

“I’m not mad,” you say as your eyes slip closed, enjoying the rhythmic circles Hoseok was now kneading into your shoulder. “I just don’t want to be mixed up in it anymore. I don’t want to be one of many.”

“Y/N, you’re not one of many. I enjoy being with you. It’s just-” Hoseok hesitates, and you lift your lazy eyelids to watch him attempt to find his words again. “I’m just not ready-”

“Hoseok,” you interject, “I’m not asking you to commit. I’m asking you to respect that I don’t want to be a part of this anymore.”

It seemed a bit hypocritical to be telling Hoseok this when all you wanted was for him to continue touching you, but it needed to be said. You had been falling in and out of bed with Hoseok for close to half a year now to no avail. Not that you had begun this whole thing with the intention to breed a committed relationship, but when you found yourself becoming a little too attached it became hard to accept the mere bones he’d throw your way. A text here, a call there, an occasional drunken hookup on the weekends. It all just began to feel dirty in your mind.

This became especially clear to you when you saw him at your coworker Jackson’s party with another girl just last month. Taehyung and Jimin had spent the whole night by your side despite you assuring them you were fine, but truthfully you had gone home just past midnight that night and cried into your pillow with Adele on full blast. The next morning you had awoken with a new found determination to pull yourself out of this situation, and dammit you were not going to cave now just because of Hoseok’s beautifully skilled fingers.

You bring your arm up to brush Hoseok’s hand off your shoulder, and he allows his fingers to slide down to your upper arm.

“I get it. I’ve just missed you a lot,” he says as he takes another half step closer to you, his body just inches from pressing yours to the wall.

“I-I missed you too,” you admit. “But, Hoseok-”

“Y/N?” you suddenly hear someone call from outside of the hallway, their voice laced with concern. The soft tone clues you in that it’s Jungkook who is approaching, and you swiftly realize that you have no idea how long you’ve been gone now. He must have come to check on you after you were missing for so long.

You’re about to call back to him when Hoseok unexpectedly closes the remaining gap between your bodies, effectively pinning you with his hips. The weight of his torso stops your words in your throat and they are instead replaced with a grunt when your back is pressed further into the wall.

“Hoseok,” you hiss, glancing up at the boy to find that he’s already looking down at you. “What the fuck are yo-”

You’re silenced immediately as Hoseok presses his lips to yours, the end of your question getting muffled between your mouths. Your lips still against his, unable to move since your brain has decided to short circuit. He moves for you, slotting your bottom lip between his and sucking lightly. It’s just clicking in your mind to shove him away when you hear an exclamation come from the other end of the hallway.

“Oh, fuck! Sorry.” the distraught voice of Jungkook rattles off, though you can’t see him with Hoseok’s head blocking your vision.

You hear the squeak of what you assume is Jungkook’s shoe pivoting on the hardwood floors and a series of steps before you garner enough sense to bring your hands up to Hoseok’s shoulders to push his upper body off of you.

“What the fuck was that?” you hiss at the boy who’s only point of fixation now seems to be your lips. You twist them into a scowl, just to ensure your frustration is getting across. “Why would you do that?”

“I’m, uh, not sure.” Hoseok stammers, eyes glancing over your face. “I just heard him coming and- I don’t know.”

“Fucking hell, Hoseok.” you growl as you wiggle out from under his body. You run your hands through your hair before stomping your way out of the hallway, leaving Hoseok behind you.

“Where are you going?” you hear him call out from behind.

“Home.” you spit over your shoulder. “And don’t follow me.”

Part ii, (Coming Soon!)

[hailcyeon]

hiraeth | 07

Pairing: Jaehwan x Reader Genre: Sci-Fi, Royal AU Word Count: 3.1k Warnings: Mild cursing

“It’s nothing, thought I spotted an old friend. He’s still smiling in his usual irritating way, lips stretched wide at a joke you’re not in on.”

Sora’s declaration spurs forth a flurry of activity that results in your standing outside an elegant bistro half an hour later, feeling woefully under-dressed in your faded jeans and sweater. Judging by the trendy gaggle of diners on the outdoor patio, this restaurant is well out of your usual price range. You understandably had the space to bring only so much when fleeing Armistice, but next to Sora in her long skirt and designer boots, you feel rather inadequate. Even Jaehwan, still accompanying you on Hakyeon's orders, cleans up nicely in his dark jeans and button down.

Oblivious to your sartorial distress, Jaehwan has been staring at something behind you over your shoulder for the past five minutes. You spare a glance, somehow both bored and agitated, but it’s just another gaggle of highly fashionable pedestrians on the opposite sidewalk. It’s strange being in the throngs of normal society, people laughing and going about their day, as if you’re not acutely aware of every passing stranger and their likelihood of being under the king’s command.

Sora huffs and checks her phone. “Ugh, it is just like Sanghyuk to keep us waiting this long.”

With the thought of meeting the king still looming over everyone's heads, Hakyeon had declared you needed a new wardrobe to properly fit the part of court mascot and roped Sora into being your guide for the day. Then once Sora realized you hadn’t eaten yet, she insisted on treating you to lunch first, calling up her brother as well on the assumption he would like to see you. From what you gather though, Sanghyuk is a late sleeper, leaving the three of you to wait outside the restaurant for his arrival.

Jaehwan scoffs, hands in pockets and lips quirked in a smile. “He's probably still hungover.”

Sora rolls her eyes. “I know he's still hungover. He threw a pillow at me this morning when I tried to wake him up.”

It's strange to think of the young boy you knew at one time having anything to do with alcohol consumption, but sudden movement in the corner of your eye cuts off any further thought. A jolt of panic runs through your body, but before you can react, Jaehwan pivots to shield you and shoulder checks the encroaching figure, sending him sprawling on the sidewalk. The chatter around you pauses briefly, the diners outside startled into silence.

“What the fuck, Hyuk?” Jaehwan pulls a groaning Sanghyuk up by the hand, both annoyed and amused. “You can't just run at people.”

“Speak of the devil and he shall appear,” Sora says, glaring up at her brother.

Holding his head, Sanghyuk stands and grins sheepishly. “I just wanted to surprise the princess. I didn't think you'd go all macho-Sword-man on me.”

“Han Sanghyuk, how many times have I told you that no one likes it when you do that?” Incensed, Sora has her hands on her hips, and you're struck by how much she's channeling her grandmother right now.

Trying to calm your still racing heart, you crane your neck upwards to peer at Sanghyuk. The last time you saw him, he was about shoulder height with you, but apparently, he takes after his giant of a grandfather, considering his current condition.

“Ahh, she doesn't mind,” Sanghyuk says, giving you a proper hug in greeting. “Do you?”

“Just don't do it again,” you respond, awkwardly bent back by his embrace. “What happened to you, Hyogi? I can't ruffle your hair anymore.”

Sanghyuk releases you, grinning, and Jaehwan opens the glass door to the restaurant, ushering your group in.

“Puberty is a magical thing, I'll tell you all about it later,” Jaehwan says, deadpan and holding the door open for you to walk through.

You stick your tongue out at him childishly before you can stop yourself. “We're getting lunch and buying some clothes, why are you here exactly?” You know the answer to that, of course; Hakyeon was very clear that you are not to go anywhere in the city without your “bodyguard”, but you hate feeling babied.

“He can hold the bags for us,” Sora says soothingly. She strides forward to the maître d’ of the restaurant who is busy jotting down reservations in a large tablet.

“I'm sorry, we are booked full through today,” he says as your group approaches without even looking up. “You'll have to call ahead next time.”

Undeterred, Sora smiles. “I'll just need my usual table, Jisoo.”

The man immediately looks up from his task, eyes widening in shocked apology. “Lady Han! I am very sorry, I didn't realize it was you.” He jumps out from behind the desk, bowing a full ninety degrees. “Right this way.”

You haven’t seen this much bowing and scraping since your days at the palace, but you follow Sora and the man anyway to the back of the restaurant where there is a lovely paper screen set up for privacy. Snippets of conversation heard from diners you pass along the way only add to your confusion.

“Ohmygod, don't look now, but the Han Sora just walked in.”

“Holy shit, think we can get a picture? Who's the hottie she's with?”

“Gross, that's her brother.”

“No, the blond one! Next to that frumpy chick.”

Your cheeks heat in embarrassment and you quicken your pace, desperate to be out of view. The maître d’ eventually leads the group to an elegantly set table toward the very back, set against some more screens and bathed in sun from an overhead skylight. He pulls out a chair for Sora, and Jaehwan, to your surprise, pulls one out for you. At your questioning look, Jaehwan simply flashes a cheeky smile and seats himself to your left. On your right, Sanghyuk immediately grabs a menu to peruse.

“Would you like a wine list, my lady?” says the maître d’ to Sora, once again in a deep bow. “We recently received a shipment of excellent vintage wine from Imsal that I'm sure you would find to your taste.”

“I'll just have a bottle of that then,” Sora responds, sending the man scurrying off in haste.

“A little early for alcohol,” you say, paging through the menu. As everything since your exodus has been, the expensive choices are overwhelming.

“Never too early for alcohol,” Sanghyuk states dryly, nose still stuck in the menu.

“Maybe just a glass of milk for this one,” you say, narrowing your eyes.

“I'm lactose intolerant, actually,” he says smugly as the maître d’ returns with a bottle of wine and an ice bucket.

Uncorking the bottle, Jaehwan takes it upon himself to pour out glasses for everyone. He passes over Sanghyuk’s offered glass, eliciting a furious pout from the offended party.

“You can't be serious.”

“Shut up and drink your milk, Hyogi,” quips Jaehwan, smirking as he pours you a glass.

Sanghyuk flips Jaehwan a finger, making you snort in laughter and Sora sigh.

“Boys,” she says in exasperation. “Can we pretend to be nice and civilized for like, half an hour? That's all I ask. And are you not still hungover?” Sora glares pointedly at Sanghyuk, who has decided to take matters into his own hands by pouring himself a glass.

“Nope!” he responds, popping the ‘p’. “Didn’t even go out last night. Was up until four gaming; Changkyun set our raid real late.” A waiter comes by briefly to take orders, bowing several times in the process. Swirling the wine in his glass, Sanghyuk lays his chin on his hand boredly. “I’ll behave. Wouldn't want to embarrass you in front of your adoring fans.”

Sipping your own wine slowly, you look at Sora sitting across the table. “What's this about adoring fans?”

Jaehwan lets out a laugh that he tries, and fails, to cover with a cough. “Wow, you really lived under a rock back in Armistice, huh?”

You glare at him, and Sora flushes slightly. “I didn't really have time for much outside of school and work,” you mutter.

“That's quite alright.” Sora smiles and fiddles with her hair self-consciously. “I act a bit now, that's all.”

Both the boys scoff at that. “She's the kingdom's sweetheart,” Jaehwan supplies. “Can't turn on a screen without seeing Sora.”

“Did you have to take the one voice over gig though?” Sanghyuk complains. “My friends keep trying to get me to play that game, and it looks so cool, but I refuse to play anything where I have to listen to my sister the whole time.”

Sora rolls her eyes in response. “My agent thought it'd be a good idea to engage the younger demographic. Deal with it.”

“The point is,” Jaehwan says, “she's the perfect candidate to teach you how to behave in Capital culture.”

You narrow your eyes, trying hard not to be offended. “Are you saying I don't know how to behave?”

The waiter returns with several trays, distracting Jaehwan from an answer for a moment. “You're prickly,” he responds eventually with a mouth full of pasta. “And abrasive.”

“I am not prickly.” You try not to sound defensive, but you have to admit his words have some truth to them.

“I wasn't done,” Jaehwan says holding up a finger and swallowing heavily. “You freeze in tense situations and you're so out of touch with the kingdom that you didn't realize its most famous celebrity is actually your best friend from childhood.”

He smiles widely as you grit your teeth and glare. “Am I wrong?” he asks with the quirk of an eyebrow.

You stare down at your plate, unwilling to answer. He isn't wrong. No one knows better than you that the task Hakyeon has given you is monumental. You were forced to grow into a different person after leaving the kingdom, and now you're supposed to prance back into court high society like none of it ever occurred.

Remember Hakyeon, is all you can think through your clenched jaw, clenched fists. Remember Hakyeon and remember the debt.

“You're not doing it alone,” Sora says softly from across the table. “Okay? We'll be here to prepare you for everything.”

You sigh, feeling defeated before anything has even happened. “That’s all well and nice, but I’m the one going into the lion’s den.”

“The king’s not going to murder you in broad daylight,” Jaehwan says with the slightest roll of his eyes. “He’s left you alone so far anyway. If he'd wanted to make a move, he would have already.”

This does nothing to help your fears and you glare at him again. “Do you think I would have been allowed to enter this city if the king didn't want me here?” You can't shake the feeling that you're walking right into his hands.

“Well,” Sanghyuk pipes up. “If nothing else, don't worry too much about the court and the general public. A little ass kissing here, a couple photo ops with Sora there, and they'll be eating out of the palm of your hand.”

Sora nods. “Exactly. Stick you in a designer dress and you’ll fit right in. Maybe a haircut too,” she adds as an afterthought.

“What's wrong with my hair?” you ask, frowning. You hadn't cut your hair in a while for lack of time and initiative, but you don't think you look terrible.

“Don't worry,” Sora says waving her hand dismissively. “I'll take care of everything, and when I'm done the tabloids won't know what to do with themselves.” Her grin is meant to be encouraging but it feels like an ominous portent for the rest of the day at your friend's mercy.

As it is, your instincts had the right idea to be frightened.

Shortly after lunch, Sora leads you and Jaehwan on a whirlwind of a shopping spree. Sanghyuk ditches early, citing an urgent appointment with his bed and his utter disinterest in taking part in his sister's madness as reasons.

For once you’re glad to have Hakyeon's unlimited credit line, considering the high-end boutiques and department stores you keep being pulled into. You're continuously forced into fitting rooms, arms laden with clothes Sora wants you to try, each time aided by boutique owners who inevitably end up being huge fans of your friend. Between your impromptu fashion show and the salon where your hair and skin are poked, prodded, and plucked, you feel like you’ve walked through a hurricane of perfume and finery.

Sora excuses herself to check on an order she has coming in at yet another boutique, leaving the two of you to awkwardly wait outside. Jaehwan is buried in various shopping bags, and you're leaning against the brick facade in an attempt to catch your breath. It’s a busy shopping district, pedestrians flooding in and out of the many storefronts and restaurants.

You close your eyes for a moment, head bent in a futile attempt to hide yourself under the giant ferns flanking the boutique doors. No matter how much rest you get, you can’t seem to shake this exhaustion that’s settled into your bones ever since you made the decision to leave Armistice. It’s a strange feeling to be so very tired and at the same time wary of every little bit of your surroundings. The anxiety and fatigue combine to make your insides feel inflamed.

A deep breath later you straighten up and peek up at Jaehwan on the off chance he’s also tired enough to let you leave early, but he’s all furrowed brows and tense shoulders, once again distracted by something across the street. You follow his gaze to the cafe immediately in front of you, confused by the seemingly innocuous scene. There’s a man with close-cropped hair seated outside who feels vaguely familiar, but there are millions of men with buzz cuts in the world and you’re all out of long-lost childhood friends.

“What have you been staring at all day?” It comes out snippier than you intended, and Jaehwan snaps his eyes to yours, an easy smile plastered back on.

“Hmm?”

“You’ve been staring off into space,” you say, suddenly annoyed. “All day.”

“It’s nothing, thought I spotted an old friend.” He’s still smiling in his usual irritating way, lips stretched wide at a joke you’re not in on.

“Some bodyguard,” you scoff, pushing off the wall. Instead you find a seat at a bench a little down the block, ignoring your shadow as best you can while he settles down next to you. Your position gives you an unhindered view of the riverside promenade, the gap in buildings allowing a small breeze to filter through. You absently play with your hair as the wind picks it up, now cut shoulder length and blow-dried straight.

“It looks good,” Jaehwan says suddenly, face peeking out from under the pile of boxes and bags he's holding.

“What?” His voice wrenches your gaze away from the river, where the setting sun is turning the surface of the waters to molten gold.

“Your hair,” he explains. “It looks good, don't worry.”

You blink and look at him, not quite sure how to react. “Thank you?”

Amused, Jaehwan gives you a lopsided smile and copies your tone. “You're welcome?”

You turn away quickly, trying to hide your embarrassment, and caught off guard by his friendliness. You still don't know what to make of the man who has been your constant companion for the past few days. He seems determined to get under your skin, all smiles and jokes, but then his sudden serious moments give you whiplash.

“What's that?” you ask, pointing toward several structures clustered up against the river. Some of the buildings look half-complete, with their steel skeletons stretching up to the open sky, while others look fully functional but nonetheless abandoned. The largest straddles the river, arched towers on each bank meeting in the middle elegantly.

“What’s what?” Jaehwan cranes his neck to look at where you're pointing. “That ugly thing? It was supposed to be a hotel, I think, a whole resort complex type deal. There's always some new construction project going up, but this one ran out of money and stopped building a while ago.”

You nod in understanding. “The city's expanded a lot since I was last here.”

“All the development companies are owned by the king's new magistrates,” he murmurs.

“All of them?”

“Not in name,” he amends. “But it's all the same people if you trace the contracts far back enough. Hakyeon's been trying to fight it, but it's an uphill battle.”

“How is he doing that?” you ask, genuinely curious. You have no idea what your cousin has been up to beyond court politics.

“He's been funneling money to competitors and foreign investors. A lot of business shit I don't fully understand.” Jaehwan shakes his head and grimaces a little. “He's the one that convinced TirTech to open a branch here.”

You raise an eyebrow. “And the king just lets him do it?”

Jaehwan's face grows dark for a moment, mind elsewhere. “The king is pretty busy with other things.”

You're about to ask what he thinks the king is up to when Jaehwan suddenly exclaims and shoves the bags off himself.

“Oh! Wait here a second.” He jumps up and makes to walk away, then turns back around. “Do not move, understand?” he says firmly, wagging a finger for good measure.

“Yes sir,” you mock, rolling your eyes.

You watch as he quickly jogs across the street to a food cart on the corner. You're both confused and amused by his sudden change in demeanor as he animatedly points to what you assume is a menu, glancing back every now and again to make sure you're still sitting on the bench. He jogs back a few minutes later with a paper bag in hand.

“Churros!” Jaehwan grins, pulling one out of the bag for you.

You accept the proffered fried stick of dough and take a bite, careful not to dust yourself in sugar in the process. Warm and sweet, the dessert is an immediate mood lifter.

“Did you have a sudden craving?” you ask, half joking.

Jaehwan shakes his head, mouth full of his own churro. “This is the best churro cart in the city. I remember from the last time Sora dragged Hyuk and me this way.”

“What, like you've tried all of them?” you mumble around a mouthful of churro.

“I get around,” Jaehwan says, wiggling his eyebrows at you suggestively.

It's an effort not to inhale dough as you snort in laughter, caught off guard by his silly expression. He seems rather proud of himself, smiling broadly at your laugh. You bite your lips in an attempt to keep a straight face, but your efforts are in vain. With a roll of your eyes you turn away from him, but the laughter has sunken into your face as a contented smile, the omnipresent dread on your shoulders held at bay for the moment.

[nomadicism]

Any tips or things to keep in mind while writing a original mecha story? What about for original mecha stories aimed at a female audience? (Like ones that are more character focused, but have some Real Robot elements like TLGG, Gunbuster, Eva or Macross)

Hi Anon! Thank you for the Ask!

I’m more of an analytical and academic writer, but hopefully I can be of help anyway.

General Tips

1. If you haven’t already, ask yourself these questions:

What kind of mecha story? For myself (and I think this is true of a lot of mecha fans), “mecha is a genre”—but—it’s not a genre that happens in a vacuum. Both Real Robot and Super Robot can take place in hard science fiction settings as well as fantasy settings with magic.

What kind of writing? Short story, long form novel, novel series (light and long form), poetry, experimental formats, sequential illustration formats (e.g. comics, manga), plays, television/film/animation, etc.

Have you read a mecha story that was not in sequential illustration format?

And now I really want to read/listen to a mecha story in Middle English with iambic pentameter. It could have a name like: “Overwalken Searshaft: Caunterbury Legendes.”

(yes English nerds, that title is some sloppy Anglish smooshed with Middle English but you get the idea)

2. Most people are introduced to mecha via anime, manga, or film; and so are likely to not have read mecha stories in a non-visual format. When a show is scripted, there is a lot of writing that goes into describing scenes that we don’t think about because we’re seeing/hearing the visual and audial representation of that writing.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, how many words is a single frame worth? Without any context, what do you think is happening in the gif above? How would you describe this less than 3 seconds of action if you were writing it?

I recommend that you read a few novels or short stories that involve mecha or giant robots of one kind or another. They might not be the type of story you’re planning on writing, but they should help with deciding on how much detail you want to go into when writing scenes with mecha (action or otherwise).

Here’s a few to try:

The Pacific Rim film novelization by Alexander Irvine.

The Del-Ray Robotech novels by Jack McKinney. Skip the ones that are about events in the Robotech cartoon—they are all good—but I recommend reading the ones that are fully original, (books #13-17).

“The Relic” by Jonathan Green is a short story within the “Legends of the Space Marines” series from Warhammer 40K. In Warhammer 40k, a “Space Marine Dreadnought” is a powerful Real Robot mecha. One doesn’t need to know the entire mythos of Warhammer 40k to understand the story.

“Mobile Suit Gundam: Awakening, Escalation, Confrontation” by Yoshiyuki Tomino. This book is the English translation and compilation of the three light novels that Tomino wrote. It covers the MS Gundam 0079 story, but with added detail (more about New Types, politics of the Zabi family, etc), and is much darker than the anime.

All of the above are Real Robot mecha under different levels of “science-fiction hardness" and settings. I cannot think of any novels or short stories that are about Super Robots, but they probably exist.

Two Specific Things

1. World-building will need lore and rules for the mecha. Even hand-wavey science-fiction or fantasy-with-magic settings have rules about who can pilot a mecha, how it’s done, what materials the mecha is constructed from, its power source, how it moves, how the pilot(s) perceive the world around them while piloting the mecha, its weapon and defense capabilities, etc. The harder the science-fiction, the more constraints are imposed, and will likely require real world research to help describe it.

For example: Gravity is a Thing. Some Super Robots can fly in such a way that they can easily leave Earth’s atmosphere at or above escape velocity and do battle in multiple types of different gravity environments (e.g. Godmars vs Getter Robo). It’s hand-waved and not really thought about. This happens in Real Robot too, but there are many Real Robot stories that use gravity limitations, while hand-waving other things (not all giant robots can fly).

As shown above—in Gundam 00—the Gundams can do battle in space and LOE (zero gravity and Low Earth Orbit), and also in mid-air (atmosphere) and on the ground. That’s the hand-wavy part, because if we think through the physics of this, a machine optimized for aerial combat at Earth gravity (1G) is probably not going to be optimized for combat in LOE, in space, or in gravity conditions that are less than Earth’s (e.g. the Moon, Mars, etc). The Gundams can fight in all these conditions, but one of their constraints is that they cannot accelerate to escape velocity or shield themselves from high temperature friction during re-entry (atmospheric re-entry is a constraint used throughout the franchise). In Gundam 00, the Gundams have to be transported between surface to space via the space elevators.

Above: One of the things that is a “game changer” for these Gundams within that setting, is that Dynames can use the Super Substratospheric Altitude Gun, capable of hitting an orbital target from a stationery position on Earth’s surface. Use of this weapon comes with additional constraints (power, connection to a network for calculations, etc).

Super Robots can also have constraints. Both the Evas in Evangelion, and the combined form of Dairugger/Vehicle Voltron have a timed operational power limit. Evangelion has a lot of Real Robot elements, so as far as Super Robots go, they’re not very powerful. The more powerful the Super Robot, the harder it is to define a constraint. This is typically where a story hits the “His power level is over 9000!” problem, or “unleashing the full power will destroy the robot, or kill the pilot.”

Which brings us to Specific Thing #2: Why mecha? What problems do the mecha solve for the protagonist? Especially if a story with a lot of character focus is what you’re going for. How much focus do you want to put on the mecha? The answers to those questions are going to help with the lore and rules for the mecha.

Aiming for a Female Audience

I’m probably the worst female-ish person to advise on this because I rarely identify with female characters, especially as a tomboy in the 80s (of course, most of them weren’t written very well to begin with back then). I identify as gender fluid, but the gender binary that I grew up with still shapes my life. My tastes in fiction are all over the place and are probably not representative of a “female audience.”

But I do know that there were a lot of women who liked Gundam from the start. (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

Above: Amuro and Char fight with fencing foils in mid-air.

Any audience can be widely diverse, and not everyone within a demographic (broad or narrow) is going to agree on what they want to see, but it’s safe to assume that a sizable part of a female audience that would be interested in a mecha story is probably going to be Done™ with something that is commonly found in either mecha stories or mainstream science-fiction and fantasy. As to what that specifically is, that can differ quite a bit.

For me, I’m Done™ with “Tits And Camel Toe Out For Mecha” in stories with teen characters that are really just ecchi content with a veneer of a serious story slapped on top with a Gainax Ending.

I’m saying that as someone who loves Go Nagai and Satoshi “Plastic Nipple” Urushihara, and thinks that the Heavy Metal movie (gif above) is a work of art, which probably makes me a hypocrite, but hey, I have standards for my T&A.

I recommend looking at stories that are known to be popular with women, and then look at stories that are known to be popular to specific demographics of women (intersectional identities). They may not be mecha stories, but if they are in the current zeitgeist, then there is something about the narrative, characters, format, etc that might be common between these stories and quantifiable in a way that can help you aim for a female audience. It might be hard to find out what these are beyond a broad female audience, so research will be necessary.

There are much better sources for advice on this than me, so if audience appeal is something that you want to dive into, then you’ve got your work cut out for you.

Character Focused (a grain of salt)

In my biased and totally not expert opinion: the smaller the main cast, the easier it is to have a character focused story (unless you meant “character driven plot”?), and the mecha itself usually gets a lot of attention as that’s more or less the point of the genre.

However, a larger main cast provides more varied opportunities for focusing on character interactions, and more material for plot hooks to support multiple plots that can be structured/threaded in a variety of ways. TV Tropes (not my favorite source, but it’s good enough for this) has a rabbit hole of entries about different types of concurrent plots: Soap Wheel; A-B-C-Plot; Two Lines, No Waiting; Four Lines, All Waiting; etc. These entries are useful for getting outside of one’s head and considering options for how-and-when to introduce and wrap up plots. If character focus is what you want to prioritize, then start with “Soap Wheel,” as soap opera plots are all about character focus and they are a good example of staggering plots in a way that keeps the story going for 20 years or more.

Above: Wolfgang Mittermeyer and Oskar von Reuenthal from Legend of the Galactic Heroes enjoy a drink while scheming. LotGH makes the most of its hundreds of characters with scenes like this. It’s character focus of a different kind. Like Gundam, LotGH has a lot of female fans, but it’s not a show that one would immediately think of that would appeal to a female audience.

Returning to this thing about “character-driven plots”, that’s a concept that I’ve found to be generalized and abstracted to the point where it doesn’t mean anything anymore. A plot-driven story can have a lot of character focus, and most mecha stories are inherently plot-driven (b/c genre), as the mecha is the vehicle for the protagonist to get from Event A to Event B. Mystery and romance genres are an example of plot-driven stories, and in both (but especially romance), there can be a lot of character focus to the point where B and C plots could be “character-driven” if they are about the specific character’s internal change, conflict, growth, some essential part of themselves that demands action, etc.

A mecha story can be structured with a plot-driven long-running A Plot which requires the mecha (so not monster of the week as those are episodic and not long-running), and certain main characters are focused on in such a way that their own internal struggles, conflict, and growth drive B and C plots. It’s up to you if those plots are concurrent, cyclical, or rotate in-and-out of focus.

For example: Aoki Ryūsei SPT Layzner (shown in the gif above) is a Real Robot anime has two sequential long-running A Plots that are plot-driven and focused on the mecha and its pilot (the protagonist). The first A Plot drives the first half of the series, and the second A Plot drives the second half of the series (which was sadly cut short so technically it wasn’t the full second half). There is a time-skip between the A Plots. The protagonist, Eiji, has an internal struggle that is threaded throughout, the focus on him creates the “character-driven” B Plot (who he is, the mystery behind the strange things that happen to him as he pilots the prototype, his conflicting loyalties between both halves of his heritage, how he reconciles his extreme pacifism with being forced to fight and possibly kill, etc). The small main/supporting cast is used effectively as each supporting character interacts with Eiji in such a way that they are integrated into the B Plot for his growth and resolving his internal conflict. The other main/supporting characters have their own struggles and character growth as well, but not quite enough to constitute a “character-driven” plot. The story’s minor C Plot is external and puts pressure upon the A Plot.

For what it’s worth: A truly “character-driven” plot—or story that is fully character focused—is going to yield a story like Franz Kafka’s “Metamorphosis,” which would be interesting to explore within the mecha genre, but I have a feeling that you’re probably not interested in that much internalized character struggle.

Finally Anon, thanks to your Ask, I’ll have to add “Write a Canterbury Tales parody mecha story in Middle English” to my bucket list. I don’t know why my brain went there but it did. Please enjoy one of the best videos I ever found on YouTube:

(yes English nerds, the guy in the opening says “Old English” when it’s not OE, it’s ME)

[midsummernightsread]

Starting next week, I will be bring back Manga Monday. It was one of my favorite posts of the week but life got in the way and I wasn’t able to keep up with it. With that in mind, I wrote this post, so you all will be prepared for the next coming weeks.

I really do. Let’s get to it.

Here is what you should know about manga (insert what manga is). . . there are so many different niches that one bad manga does not mean that they are all bad. If you are reader, this is something that you should be fully aware of. Manga gets a bad wrap (dare I say much worst than graphic novels/comics) due to people not understanding the cultural difference, being pretty much racist AND unwilling to try new things.

First things first is how to read manga. Manga is read from right to left. In most books, you should see a page devoted to directions. This is important, not necessarily reading the directions but know how to read manga because you can quickly get lost.

Different Sub Genres 

*Note: I believe these would be considered sub genres as each manga is still broken down as Fantasy, Horror, Contemporary etc. This could be an American thing but I am not 100% sure about that. 

Shonen is geared towards young boys under the age of 15.

Seinen is geared toward to young men between the ages of 15-24.

Shojo is geared toward girls between the ages of 10-18

  Josei is geared towards adult women.

Kodomomuke is geared towards children.

Yaoi is also known as boy’s love and are stories about male gay relationships.

Yuri is also known as girl’s love and are stories about female gay relationships.

  Ecchi is has a lot of suggested content (i.e. sexual) and may contain nudity.

Hentai is pretty much pornography with a story behind it (not to say there may not be porn with a plot but yeah that is what this is).

There may be more but this is what I have for the time being. It is important to know what you are getting into but manga doesn’t exactly shy away from certain topics. They can be extremely detailed, so knowing what you want to deep dive into is a good start.

And just because there is a particular age group that the manga is set for i.e. the demographic, you can read any manga you want. I wouldn’t obviously recommend children to read the adult themes but you know what I am trying to get at.

I read manga in two different ways. By going to Kiss Manga or purchasing at a bookstore, usually Barnes and Nobles.

One things to note with Kiss Manga is that is can be overwhelming because there are a lot of choices. Not all manga will be available on this website but you still can find a chunk of it. So happy hunting!!

Listed below are some (because there are so much more) of my favorite manga and it includes a range also some new and old.

I hope that this post was helpful ^_^ I look forward to you starting your manga journey!

Vertical Comics Published May 24, 2016 224 Pages

Kadokawa Shoten Published Jan 26, 2013

Yen Press Published Jan. 20, 2015 208 Pages

goodreads.com

The Return of Manga Monday: So You Want to Get Into Manga Starting next week, I will be bring back Manga Monday. It was one of my favorite posts of the week but life got in the way and I wasn't able to keep up with it.