#i usually dont like the term soulmates but theyre soulmates to me.

[s1ld3n4f1l]

i dont understand people who completely deny any possibility of harry and kim having a romantic relationship. one of the first things you know about kim is that he would, in a heartbeat, trade his life for yours. this is before you know his name. this is before he knows your name.

[single-malt-scotch]

i think personally, if i was to rank what season of Life smp i enjoyed most (i feel i may be controversial here lol) it would be 1. Last Life 2. Double Life 3. Limited life 4. Third Life

i know. i know. i know third life is last. listen i dont hate it. i quite like it. but i guess for many who have it as one of their most memorable, its usually because of pairs i didnt care about at all?? the ren/martyn fans and grian/scar fans love that season. people go nuts for those people especially.... i do not. and i loved the guys i watch in that series- bdubs and etho were great! but their alliances and drive didnt stick with me as hard as other seasons. LL is just my obvious winner. i know ppl thought the mechanics were too much but i feel like they balanced out well- giving lives vs having to take lives. of course my favorites was etho and bdubs... and their continuous back and forth of bdubs going red and getting lives fit the intent of LL so well. as much as ethubs pair stood out to me that season, im sure LL didnt stick out for those who didnt like whatever other popular pairs existed. Lim life only stands as 3 because its fresh and while i liked it, it was also incredibly overwhelming. some moments i absolutely loved but im still processing it beside DL which I am actually still in the middle with. DL i rank higher just because i do like the teams a bit more- not specifically the players but i like the concept of forced teams in this series and would like to see it again. I am conflicted on how the DL mechanic played out as it got a bit stressful on red and almost felt a bit 'unfair' to how short it cut some people's series when they were accidents and not together but, the narrative DL had with the soulmates was great and they did some absolutely stupid things i find hilarious still (fishing rods and the warden.)

overall i love every season, theyre all great haha. but in terms of which i have enjoyed going back to most (aside Lim life because its new) this is how i kind of rank them in my head. id love to see some similar things from my top two return in some form again.

[misterbitches]

i said i would talk about saizon and usually i would be under the influence. but i am not yet. read the * at end of the post first if u want clarification of overall.

i might mention torfight (will refer as f/t) but if anyone gets upset just chill. it’s a really inconsequential opinion. the chances of someone stumbling upon this means nothing. it isnt’ a compare and contrast just how i personally feel while viewing these shows. and i probably want to dive into what this means in a broader context since i have all the time and brain space in the world 

from the first encounter of saifah and zon or their first encounter outside of their ��kiss” (LOL? so unnecessary) it was clear that as awkward as it could or may be there was natural chemistry. which i want my tiny head to explore.

so a lot of BL (which is like....tv and movies etc in general anyways) hell even dramas may have a less sexual undertone to get to where they are going. which i think is a problem with tv in general (a friend was bringing this up with the new rules of social distancing on set which...capitalism but whatever)  where sex is a vehicle for connection. a lot of BLs can be explicit i suppose, but in the west it’s like jumping into bed is a huge base for a lot of couples. also everyone fucks too much who cares.

but sex, kisses, hookups, any nudity, etc is not a placeholder for like actual intimacy, romantic love, showing love. that’s part of why i hate the concept of love at first sight, at least the way it plays out. you can really like someone, hell maybe even love, when you see them or feel this bond but the bond isn’t because you TOUCHED them.

there’s a difference between natural chemistry and forced. natural chemistry is what you would prefer which is why casting directors have literally chemistry tests to test your compatibility as actors, with a writer/director, and on camera. there can be people whose chemistry develops and we see the potential, or people who we know don’t love each other IRL and this is acting but it’s still powerful. but this always means you have to give them the time and space. actors can jump in/out of character but it’s human nature. if two peopl eare meeting for the first time and have to simulate sex there’s going to be this natural like...strangeness. obviously. viewers can see it.

so when you get two people who click irl and it doesn’t always have to be romantic or sexually it’s kind of more of a thrill. very obviously mii2 are a lot more flexible around each other so it is less mechanic. i think i like watching tharntype because even tho i feel like parts of it seriously need some oil, i can see and understand a relationship developing through their characters as they act (and i do not particularly think they are good actors.)

the friendship that saizon display—whether we think it is spontaneous and too quick or not—is legitimately nice. and they are very obviously comfortable with each other. i guess there can be an idea of romantic friendship (but idk abt that one, we dont have to fucking label everything you can love someone so deeply in your own way outside of our parameters bla bla capitalism ruining everything bla bla individualism)

they got in each others faces, then would do very weird shit together, because that’s who they are. for me personally i think being able to have fun with your partner is iMPERATIVE. one of my fav moments is when they fucking meow at each other (which i know is a thai joke, right? idk) and it is so weird but you can tell they understand the way they communicate?

to me  like...having someone you feel something deep with is that there’s this role you guys are playing, it’s a joke you started, and with the best kind of intimacy and love your partner can keep it going, keep it rolling, hang it up in the air and you guys just go back adn forth....forever lol 

i also legitimately think it is important to hammer home the fact that you are yourself without a partner and i really resent a message that makes it seem like you can’t live without someone. maybe a lack of saizon was good that way. like they existed as two seperate people. their love and attraction weren’t the only thing going for them. it was just natural and very nice.

this particular display of romance and affection is one that’s strong but doesn’t take itself too seriously. not because you don’t want to lose them but because there’s enough security. or like, it’s really guided by this unspeakable feeling you feel with another person. 

i’m not sure if that means soulmates but it’s something close. saifah doesn’t expect zon to be someone he can’t, but it doesn’t mean he has to let himself go completely for him. when he expressed being sad that zon pulled away it’s normal. and zon knew he couldn’t do it but they still got through it. and then he pats the bed and saifah jumps on him.

these types of couples remind me of why i feel the way i do about love. i can’t imagine something fucking bogging me down, where i feel like i can’t get up without pulling me, where i don’t feel myself first. zon was figuring himself out and he was thinking of himself and his feelings. bc he should. 

that’s another reason why trapped MC (H3) is one of my favs. first of all THEY LAUGHED TOGETHER WHICH IS LIKE A REQUIREMENT UR NO FUN IF UR A SQUARE and second of all they were going to spend year apart and could do that. had to. fuck the carceral state but. 

you don’t ask someone to give up a part of themselves, you only want them to be the best they can be. it isnt through demands it’ sgrowing with them and fucking respecting them with everything you have. and it means having a foundation outside of them, too. 

i know people get upset at the “love anybody but u have to love yourself” adage but i don’t really see it tht way. i absolutely believe you need to learn to be healthy alone and have a community. rely on all sorts of people. have different types of love and figure yourself out. we can’t be free as human beings without it and i would rather fucking die than not feel free. 

oh and like....being with someone where you feel seen and heard not shamed. i read this thing in the atlantic like, partnerships fail a lot because of lack of validation. imagine having someone who trusts you, and maybe helps to trust yourself, and validates you by being there. nice.

and it’s nice having someone you love so deeply and beautifully along for the ride. instead of no actual pleasure outside of sex, your relationship IS the pleasure. beautiful stunning etc. and that’s what makes everythign feel good the love, sex, living, whatever. with someone and with yourself.

this got away from me in conclusion theyre very cute eand that’s cos it’s easy and natural. mii2 are fun to watch as saizon and themselves. life shouldnt be too hard. im a big fan of working as little as possible and being happy kekekek

*i am talking monogamy, love, and the self. why only ‘traditional’ rships? first: i literally cannot handle people because i can’t handle my mind. non-monagamy is incredibly alluring to me for my autonomy, in the abstract, and in theory. however, in practice, i don’t think—for me as a black woman and what it means for me—i can enact anything i feel would be detrimental to me or puts me in a position where i feel forced into a dynamic i no longer care for. 

and who knows if that changes? i only do and care about the things i like and find important. no one else but me, family, and friends. how i choose. so i am talking abt monogamy but u can interpret that for other rships if you wish. 

second: it’s. my. life. 

i dont carrreeee about monogamy/non monagamy outside of liberation and sexual freedom and what does that mean?  there is no blueprint for that. there is no future expectation for a relationship, there is nothing but how we choose to interact with the world and community. first and foremost: love means so many things and it doesn’t have to mean any “new” ideas. or “instincts.” who fucking cares. we can’t reimagine literal relationships, people are fucking toxic in all types of them, only reimagine how we interact with ourselves and each other. there is no fucking guarantee with any of this we are safe. you cannot predict life. just live it. honor yourself first. there’s some black feminists books on like love and intimacy if you are curious how capitalism binds us. we keep wanting to find solutions WITHIN when its like nah, it;s our own fuckin terms. self-love becomes the love you can extract from others. it isn’t sustainable. 

ROMANTIC LOVE WAS INVENTED TO MANIPULATE WOMEN = JENNY HOLZER

[s3venpounds]

1-50

damn seriously whos doin this fam. like im enjoying myself but im not sure yall even care at this point lmaooooo 

1. have you ever been in love?

i’d like to think yes. if im wrong ive got a HUGE storm coming. pretty sure im in love atm who knows tbh.

2. what are your favourite colours and why?

a sort of lilac shade of purple. idk. 2 reasons i guess. i remember in a video i saw purple is the best color to stand out in terms of cartoons and clothing so thats how they get some villains to stand out so im like heck yeah attention ! lololol that and the color itself just seems “soft” idk

3. who was the last person you held hands with?

UHHHHHHH CK.

4. what is your zodiac sign?

Taurus stubbornly proud.

5. how many times have you read your favourite book?

6 times.

6. what are your favourite films?

how to train your dragon. treasure planet. high school musical series. hercules. pacific rim.big hero 6

7. what kind of weather do you like?

rain. lots of it. or just sunny or slightly cloudy with  ALOT of wind. i love wind. it makes me sleepy.

8. do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sun sets. crazy mindsets and shenanigans happen once the sun sets. but sunrises are good for waking up to while cuddling.

9. what kind of weather represents who you are as a person?

a flood. literal flood warnings. overbearing, extra, clings to the area long after its done. damages everything a little bit. everything is dirty afterwards and everyone is highly annoyed. some idiot decided to swim

10. what’s your favourite animal?

avians. most birds really. i just REALLY want to fly without the aid of a huge plane or something. like squirrel suits or jetpacks

11. what is your favourite song right now?

Lie to me George Nozuka

12. what is your favourite song of all time?

uhm no. I actually don’t show everyone this song because its special to me so i only show it to people who are either close friends or lovers.

13. do you like sunny days or rainy days better?

rainy days. most def.

14. have you ever been heartbroken?

yeah. 

15. what does the perfect kiss feel like?

it feels like every other kiss from every other person doesn’t compare. the lips feel like theyre in the right place. times seems to stop. nothing around seems to matter. past present and future intertwine and creates a phenomenon around you two and suddenly you aren’t aware of anything but the feel of their lips, how warm they are and how fast your heart is beating.

16. what is your favourite poem?

i don’t have a specific poem in mind but i loved a bunch of poems from lang leav’s love and misadventure

17. who are you most inspired by?

a multitude of people. depends on what youre asking about. say if its volleyball im most inspired by the manga characters from haikyuu most notably hinata shoyo because he loves to fly. if its in terms of how physically fit i am it would most likely be chris pratt. its different things and people depending on what youre asking

18. are you spiritual?

pfft i’d like to think no. but its a pretty general term so i could be who knows.

19. what is your favourite plant?

anything that eats spiders, mosquitos and any other venomous creepy crawlies or just any bugs.

20. what is your favourite feeling?

freedom. rushes of adrenaline. or just love. passion burning in the form of love.

21. what is your favourite word?

juxtaposition

22. are you an artist?

nope. i would like to be but i lack the discipline and patience for it.

23. what is your favourite flower?

lavender or lilac? idk

24. are you happy?

im not SAD. but im not happy either. im not neither im more of a constant sad and happy. at the same time

25. what are you thinking about right now?

should i confront this person or not on the day of birthday and assuming i get a negative result shall i drink my memories away? most likely.

26. what emotion do you feel most often?

annoyance and frustration

27. what is your favourite season?

winter.

28. are you in a relationship?

nope.

29. are you an introvert or extrovert?

ive been told im extroverted so ill go with that

30. do you prefer the moon or the stars?

stars.

31. what is your favourite scent?

her. she smells like happiness, the adventures shes been on, the smell of comfort. i just REALLY like it when someone im interested also smells delightful. it like amplifies everything. 

32. where do you feel most at home?

st clements park i ‘spose. maybe my computer chair. in the rays of sun in an open field?

33. what scares you the most?

death.

34. do you believe in soulmates?

yes. 

35. what is your favourite thing about yourself?

my singing? i guess? i use it the most and i enjoy it when i get to sing. or say dumb things with impressions of famous characters or actors/accents

36. what is the nicest compliment you’ve received?

“nice outfit” 

37. who is your favourite music artist?

ahhhhhhhh its a 3 way between Hedley, Goo Goo Dolls, and Aj rafael

38. what was your first kiss like?

awkward, literally not a full kiss just a peck.

39. are you a sensitive person?

apparently so. i’ve been described as emotional and passionate so i suppose.

40. when was the last time you cried?

couple of weeks ago?

41. do you believe that love can last forever?

not forever. forever seems like a label or chain if i die i don’t want to tie down my partner. if they fall even harder for someone in the next life i think i would be wise to let them be happy. 

42. what do you think happens to us when we die?

this is a bit morbid but i personally think we becomes ghosts but we can’t leave our body. when we pass we’re still conscious and see everything that happens to our body but we can’t move. so we get buried, burned etc. screaming at the top of our lungs but unable to do a thing.

43. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

sadly. yes.

44. what do you think about when you can’t fall asleep at night?

how many rounds of masturbating can i go before i pass out involuntarily. lmao jk . i set up my dream like “ okay i’ll be in… a zompie apocalypse living in a somewhat safe city having a sort of drama with other survivors and trying to live day by day off the little rations everyone gets.”

45. do you believe in aliens?

it’d be a lonely ass existence for earth to be the only life for a couple billions lightyears

46. what is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

deal with my shit. honestly im a handful.

47. do you find it hard to trust?

no. i sort of trust everyone until proven theyre not to be trusted. 

48. are you secretive?

to an extent yeah. anyone is usually.

49. what colour are your eyes?

brown? idk i really dont care ahahaha i’ll let my future spouse deal with that.

50. do you have a nickname?

Ag(silver on the periodic table since yknow. my names silver. >.>), tinman, silver yo yo, silverado, silver city.

okay seriously, whoever is doing this, are you doing this out of curiosity or because i asked for it? lmaooo