#i used to say shit without being paranoid and embarrassed about every word that came out of my mouth

[alicentlesbian]

even just looking at old posts and tags i made 3-4 years ago and looking at my creative expressions 4 years ago is crazy like i feel like i am steadily declining in being able to feel emotions and express myself and be creative more and more as time goes on. it's kind of scary

[saturnsstufff]

okay as a chubby girl myself I struggle with how I see myself and this idea makes my heart KSHDHSJS

okay so imagine IMAGINE

Request maybe 🤔🤔🤔

Okay,, you’re standing in the mirror yk in your mirror at technos house/cottage in your underwear and stuff, grabbing at the chub and stuff looking upset and not feeling good about yourself, and techno walking into the room and seeing this. yk him being upset that you feel that way Bc he thinks youre just so pretty 🥺.

IT COULD EITHER GO INTO A SMUT( 😏 where he SHOWS you how much he loves you and how pretty he thinks you are in the mirror) OR FLUFF WITH SOFT WORDS AND CUDDLES or both idk

*slams hand on desk* IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS

I went with both, because I like options. I also based this off a little personal feelings so I hope it works!

My Goddess- Technoblade

Warnings: self conscious reader, swearing, NSFW

   The mirror. Your best, but worst nightmare imaginable. Some days you could look into it and see beauty within your curves. Spend endless minutes hyping yourself up. 'Man I look good' 'I am the fucking shit' 'damn look at that' all little things you tell yourself in pride. Because in those moments, you feel powerful. In those moments you feel like you own the world, that others are just lucky to breathe within your presence.

   However, there are bad days. There are days when looking into the mirror brings shame. Days when all you can do is grab at your stomach, and ponder of what you could have done, or what you will do. Its pressed that everyone is perfect in our own imaginable ways. Yet when you look at others, you cant help but be envious. Others can get away with wearing tight clothing, baggy clothing, any type of clothing. Yet when you try it on all you see is a box, if you wear tight clothing, every roll and muffin top pops out. It can be embarrassing.

   Techno never saw your curves as embarrassing however. He loved them. He loved the plush, soft skin of your tummy or your thighs. Your hips? don't even ask what he thought on hips, as long as they were yours. They were perfect.

   With that said, when he saw you saddened about your form he was slightly hurt. You thought he was beautiful, a hybrid of a monster. But yet you couldn't find the beauty within your rolls? Your plump little form? The very thing that made up you? If he ever found out who planted these seeds of lies in your mind, he would have words.

   If you felt confident enough to take the world by the horns, he let you. He would build you up with sweet words of encouragement. 'Well don't you look amazing...' 'you are looking beautiful as ever'. They were small phrases but they meant a lot to you.

   Techno isn't verbal with his love, or compliments really. He chooses to show it, words are just that. Words. Actions are done, are shown. They are physically put into motion. That's why he prefers it. But he also understands sometimes words are needed. They are needed to ease your nerves and doubtful mind.

   when he catches you glaring at your plump form in the mirror, he cant help but quickly move to your side. Kneeling and kissing up your body. Your arms, your thighs, everything. In the beginning he would let you look away. The idea of someone liking your body type left you uncertain, many times you would ponder if his endless kisses were done as a joke. But each and every time he would reassure you that it was real. That him loving you, loving your body. It wasn't in pity, it was in genuine love.

   Tonight was one of those bad nights. With Techno in the bath, you were left to change for bed. Wait for him to come out, and then cuddle the night away until the sun kissed the horizon.

   But well you changed your eyes fell to the mirror. Your eyes casually roamed your body. You were used to looking at it so nothing stood out of course. But as you shifted, you caught a few stretch marks within the candle light. They looked like streaks of lightning that were dragged across your skin. With a quick glance away, you pulled something over your form. Wanting to cover your body and deal with that mental baggage later.

   Of course the Hybrid that stood tall within the door frame held other ideas about that moment. The one thing that always put you at ease was Techno's size. Before you were in a relationship with him, you feared you wouldn't be able to wear your lovers clothing. Being a bit plumper meant "one size fit all" did not fit all. But luckily, with your roughly 6ish/7ish foot Piglin Hybrid of a lover, all of his clothing was a bit baggy on you. Technoblade was a very Built man, this came from his never ending training and his natural born strength of course. But even with him being built and big, the first time he asked you to sit on his lap had you hesitant. What if he found you too heavy? The idea of him asking you to move off would leave you completely mentally ruined. Of course when you finally sat he didn't utter any words besides praises. His hands running gently over your thighs, with a tight grasp he kept you close. When Techno saw you ease into his lap more often, he took pride in knowing you were comfortable enough to do it on a daily basis. That was when he upped the bar again. The day he asked you to sit on his face was the day you had a heart attack. You were so paranoid you would crush him. Of course he was all bemused smirks well you tried to think of excuses. Yet this man was able to ease your nerves and reassure you until you were comfortable once again. You would never forget how giddy he was to be between your thighs. That was the day he found his favorite spot.

   Before you could ease some bottoms over your underwear, this man had his arms around you. Pushing against your hands. His nose was nuzzled into your neck muttering gently "Please, leave them off for now..." with a brow raised you complied. You let the shorts drop to the floor, assuming you would be coming for them in a brief moment. You could smell the lingering sent from his shampoo. The fresh smell giving you great comfort.

   Techno moved you back to face the mirror, his head moving briefly so he could see you face yourself. With a light stubble scratching against your neck you felt the goosebumps rise. Your eyes met his ruby ones within the mirror. "Do you know, how beautiful you are?..." he asked rhetorically. Dragging out the words that he felt were important. You wanted to say no, but knew he wouldn't want that answer.

   "I think I'm alright..." you said softly. He hummed and pressed a loving kiss to your neck. His hands slowly fell down to the buttons of the shirt you were wearing. Skillfully he undid them without thought. When you had pulled a shirt on you didn't think much, but now saw that it was his you wore. Of course he didn't mind, he never minded.

   With the buttons undone he opened the shirt to expose your naked form. Every curve and roll on sweet display for him "You are beyond 'alright'... alright is basic. You know my goddess is beyond mortal definitions..." you gave a gentle smile at his charm, glancing away from his eyes. He didn't allow this tonight however. Instead he took your jaw and gently redirected it to the mirror. Meeting his gaze again.

   "My love... My goddess, you know your body rivals the gods, yes?..." you slightly shrugged, unsure if this was true. With another loving kiss he continued. "Persephone had rolls... She was just as plump as you my love..." you fallowed his eyes gently. Him comparing you to the beautiful goddess left you feeling better. If someone so divine could have rolls why couldn't you?

   He didn't stop there however. "If you cant see your beauty. Let me show you how beautiful you are..." his tone was pleading. Like a animal begging for spare scraps. You watched his eyes, his finger and thumb having control over your chin. You thought on his words and gave a brief nod to him. Trusting him and whatever he had planned.

   Instead of immediately kissing you all over, he pulled away. Firmly telling you to keep your eyes on the mirror. You felt a bit awkward standing there, your legs shifting closer underneath you. He soon came back however, his crown in hand. You could also see he had a simple gray towel around his waist, showing he was fresh from the bath.

   Your curiosity with the crown lingered, but you watched as he put it on your head. "You are a queen... My Queen... You will always be reminded of your everlasting beauty for as long as you are with me..." for not complementing a lot, tonight he was on a roll. Your eyes ran over the crown. The delicate and bright stones contrasting the shimmering gold well against your skin.

   He walked around to the front of you, leaning down to meet your lips in a loving kiss. His hand found a firm places on your hip, and on the plush skin of your ass cheek. With a gentle, but firm grasp he moved and rolled the skin beneath his hand. Loving how soft you were. With his hands working soft whimpers and moans out of you, his mouth devoured them. Eating every noise you made, cherishing them deep within his heart.

   Leaving your lips swollen he moved down. Kissing your jaw and neck. Planning to leave you a work of art. A show of how much he loves you.

   After your neck it was your chest. Soft plump breasts fitting ever so sweetly within his hands. With firm grasps he had you flushed red whimpering. Your eyes half lidded with the sweet lingering pleasure. Yet you still watched yourself and him, knowing to not disobey him.

   With soft kisses placed to the tops of your breasts and nipples he moved to your stomach. This is where you craved to look away. Wishing to hide yourself in his neck.

   "T..T-Techno..." he hummed acknowledging your words. But he still pressed light kisses down to the hem of your underwear.

  “Keep your eyes on the mirror." He said, pulling them down. Helping you step out of the discarded clothing. You couldn't see his face. Only his backside was facing the mirror, and even then his long wet hair hid most of his toned back.

   His fingers ran through your slit briefly. His rings offered a major temperature difference between your heat and the cold metal. With a little squirm his hands moved and held you in place. Desiring to keep you in place before he moved his head in and started to devour you. Eating you out like it was his last meal on earth.

   With a ever so sinful cry, you gripped at his hair. Begging for your knee's to not give out. With one hand on his head, the other one flew to the crown on your head. Trying to keep it on well you easily hunched over from the overwhelming pleasure. Techno never failed to leave you speechless- or should we say, he never left you quiet. Even if you could see yourself, you didn't think you would be able to focus much. Your eyes were tightly shut well your mouth ran between being in a 'O' and being locked shut.

   He did pull back from your folds to speak. Earning a cry from you. You were getting close and him pulling away was painful. "You can cum. But you have to keep your eyes open" you nodded profusely. Agreeing to anything if it meant feeling his lips back on you. He lingering a moment. Making sure your eyes opened before he leaned back. Taking his time to show your clit attention before going back to his main course.

   With your eyes looking back at you. You were unsure if you were ashamed with how blissed out you looked or happy. The whole scene in itself was erotic. You were incredibly small compared to the giant between your legs. His only drive to please you completely. Your eyes never left the mirror as he ate you out to your climax. Your hips stuttering and bucking, but proving no use to his iron grip. When you came he waisted no time at cleaning it up. He had no shame, that your cum was running down his chin. He was happy when you were pleased. And he knows you are definitely pleased after that climax.

   But he wasn't finished. With your legs weakening he helped you down onto his lap. He let you collect yourself against his chest for a few moments his hand ran over your back.

   "Doin' ok there Princess?..." you nodded slowly. Your chest rising and falling fast well you try and calm yourself. "Think you can do one more?" You nodded again well he pressed a kiss to your forehead, acknowledging your response. Adjusting his crown on your head, he moved so the mirror was beside you two. Showing both of your bodies, with the towel acting as a thin barrier.

   When you both were situated he did remove the towel. With a strong arm he lifted you up and positioned his hardened cock at your entrance, wasting no spare moment to fill you up. Well you did try to hide within his neck, it proved no use. He made sure to turn your head to the mirror.

   With your eyes hitting the mirror you saw how his head was beside yours. Your cheek was pressed to his chest well his was pressed to your forehead. His eyes lingeried your body. Drowning in your blissed out form. He found you utterly perfect.

   Well your bodies were connected, it almost looked like art. With techno's sharp gaze and your blissed out reddened cheeks, the contrast was there but yet they went together in perfect harmony. With the roll of his hips he made sure to keep your eyes on the mirror. Wanting to drag out every cry and moan you could utter. He set his pace at a rhythmic thrust, wanting to not only pleasure you, but himself as well. Well you griped to his sides, he kept his hand on he back of your head gently. Wanting to keep your head facing the mirror. With sweet sinful praises he coached you to a second orgasm, his fallowing close behind. He kissed your head gently, keeping you close to him well he felt himself soften. when his eyes met yours in the mirror he smiled softly. 

“Look at how beautiful you are... Always so, so beautiful Princess...”

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

kiss it better

Everyone in my inbox was asking for some hurt/comfort today and I figured a little Jaskier whump tossed in wouldn’t make anyone mad.

tw: blood, stabbing, canon typical dumbassery and violence

---

“Geralt!” Jaskier’s voice sounded gurgly and wet. That wasn’t good. That was very incredibly not good. The Witcher whipped around and looked for his bard in the crowd. When his gaze landed on Jaskier, his blue eyes were wide, panicked and tearful. Geralt glanced down and saw his pale hand clutching at… clutching…

The hilt of a dagger stuck proudly out of Jaskier’s abdomen. 

---

“You’re traveling with the white-haired Witcher, aren’t you?” a high, snooty voice asked over the market din. Jaskier turned on his heel and came face-to-face with a somewhat familiar young nobleman. 

“Why yes, I do travel with Geralt, the White Wolf of Rivia,” the bard bowed with a flourish. “Have we met before? You look familiar.”

“I should hope I look familiar,” the man sniffed. “Your Witcher friend insulted me rather rudely in front of my Father’s entire court no more than two months ago. I’ve been sent on a fool’s errand while the rumors and shame dissipate in my absence.”

“My apologies, Milord. Geralt isn’t always good with his words. A fault, I am afraid, that belongs to many in his line of work.”

“Are those in his line of work any good at healing, do you know, bard?”

“That depends on the Witcher, Milord. Why do you ask?”

“I was just wondering. I hope that your White Wolf is one such educated mutant,” the Lord sneered. There was a bright, surprising flash of silver and a sudden sharp pain bloomed through Jaskier’s abdomen. The noble waved his bloodied, gloved hand dismissively towards the market’s center. “Better go find your Witcher before you pass out or bleed to death.”

---

Geralt scooped Jaskier into his arms and ran as fast as his frantic instincts would allow, sprinting all the way through town to the well-marked apothecary’s stall. He pushed through the doorway of the shop and glared down the middle-aged woman behind the counter. “I need a healer. Now.”

She was about to protest his tone of voice when she saw the dagger still embedded in Jaskier’s midsection. The woman gasped and stuck her head behind a curtain that spanned the wall behind the counter, shouting clearly: “Fetch Elana! Fetch Elana, quickly! Have her meet me in the surgery!”

“Where should I put him?”

“Follow me,” the woman instructed, ducking through one of the doors on the left wall of the shop. Geralt followed closely behind, Jaskier now limp and unconscious in his arms. He could feel the bard growing lighter as precious drops of blood flowed freely from his wound. 

When Geralt found whoever did this to Jaskier, that person was going to pay dearly. 

---

“He was embarrassed at court so he stabbed you?” the healer asked again, shocked. Jaskier nodded. 

“Where’s Geralt?” he asked.

“Your Witcher friend?”

“I don’t exactly know that he’d call me his friend,” the bard smiled sadly. “But yes, my Witcher.”

“Ah, one of those, eh?”

Jaskier blushed furiously and shook his head. “No! No, nothing like that either. Geralt doesn’t…you see, since he’s a Witcher he doesn’t...”

“He doesn’t what?” a gruff voice asked from the doorway, urging Jaskier to finish his sentence. The bard flinched in surprise and winced when the movement agitated his wound. 

With a rush of unexpected movement, Geralt was at his side. Two broad hands settled against the bard’s shoulders and pushed him gently back into the mound of pillows. Two untamed eyebrows pulled together and several prominent lines appeared on the Witcher’s forehead. Jaskier was confused; Geralt seemed genuinely concerned with his comfort and wellbeing.

Once the anxious Witcher was sure that Jaskier wasn’t still bleeding to death, Geralt took a step back and crossed his arms over his chest, “What don’t I do?”

“Consider me your friend.”

A sharp pang of something shot through Geralt’s chest. His hand found Jaskier’s where it rested atop the duvet and gripped it firmly but not roughly. “You’re my best friend in this entire world, Jaskier. I’m sorry I didn’t make that clear sooner. I could have lost you just now and the thought of such a tragedy.. well, it’s terrifying.”

The bard’s jaw dropped. Geralt barely spoke three words to him on a good day and here the Witcher sat, spouting poetry at his bedside as if Jaskier was dying. “Are you alright, Geralt? Are you sick? Have you been hexed or cursed or poisoned?”

“No?”

“Then why are you saying all these kind and lovely things to me?”

Geralt pretended not to notice as the healer slipped silently out of the room and closed the door behind her. Now they were alone, and the Witcher felt safe enough to confess. He laced his fingers tightly with Jaskier’s and sighed, meeting the bard’s frightened gaze with his own. He opened his mouth to speak but the bard shook his head.

“Don’t,” Jaskier breathed, “Don’t say anything you don’t mean, Geralt of Rivia, or my heart may really, truly break for good. Don’t tell me that I mean something to you if you’re going to be all silent and solemn again tomorrow, dear heart, because I won’t be able to survive it. A broken heart I can handle. A stab wound I can live through. Both at once may kill me for good.”

“I love you, Jaskier.”

“Oh, Geralt-”

“When I saw you in the square, bleeding and terrified, the rest of the world went dark. There was you and only you. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t breathe again until I knew you weren’t going to leave me alone in this world. Without the sound of your laughter and singing, the Path would be so horrifically silent. Without the sight of your smile every day, why would I ever want to open my eyes again? The light you shed brightens the world, my lark, and there would be no point in going on without you at my side.”

Jaskier’s eyes shone bright with tears and he squeezed the Witcher’s hand. 

“Geralt, my sweet, kind, and deadly Witcher,” he managed to gasp out, “The course of true love never did run smooth, did it?”

“I suppose not.”

---

Geralt laid him back against the headboard of their inn bed and took a nervous step away. Jaskier reached out for him automatically and groaned when the stretch of his movement pulled his stitches. The Witcher immediately moved back within reach. “Sit down you enormous fool,” Jaskier instructed.

Geralt took a hesitant seat at the edge of the lumpy mattress and let the bard take his hand. Jaskier fiddled around with his fingers, caressing up and down each one as he spoke softly.

“I know you’re going to feel all kinds of guilty over this, aren’t you?”

The Witcher nodded.

“Well I hate that!” Jaskier announced, tugging at Geralt’s hand to get his attention. The Witcher looked up and saw the grim determination in his bard’s shining cornflower irises. “So this is what’s going to happen, alright? Every time you feel tempted to mope or self-flagellate or whatever other stupid shit you do when you’re overwhelmed with regret and angst, you’re going to give me a kiss instead.” 

“Hmm?”

“That’s right. I want you to kiss me every time you start feeling guilty that I’m hurt. That way you’re doing something useful with all those pent up negative emotions. I’ll know you’re thinking about me and I’ll get free Witcher kisses.”

“How is this a punishment?” Geralt asked, looking down at the floor, shame written plainly across his handsome features. 

Jaskier used the tips of his fingers to tilt the Witcher’s head back up. Only once their gazes had locked did he speak again. He did so firmly, with strong conviction behind each and every clearly enunciated syllable: “You are not being punished, Geralt of Rivia, because you did nothing wrong. A stupid noble made a stupid mistake and took out his misplaced anger on me and you. We are victims, Geralt. We are not to blame at all, whatsoever.”

“But-”

Jaskier leaned forward, face twisting in pain, and pressed his lips against Geralt’s almost harshly. He fell back a second later, pale and panting, and clutched at his side. 

“Kiss me when you feel guilty, Witcher, or I won’t go back onto the Path with you when this is all over.”

“...Alright.”

“Good.”

“Rest, now, Jaskier. You need sleep so you can heal faster.”

“Lay with me, then,” the bard insisted. He scooted forward and allowed Geralt to slip into bed behind him. From there the paranoid Witcher could watch the door and hold Jaskier close. 

A few moments later, Jaskier felt a delicate kiss press against the nape of his neck and he smiled. He closed his eyes and settled against the pillows, trying to ignore the throbbing ache in his abdomen and side. Another kiss dampened the back of his head. Then another. He squeezed Geralt’s hand. Several more followed in quick succession, leading from the back of one shoulder blade to the other. A dozen kisses of apology. Perhaps more.

Jaskier pressed one kiss of his own to the back of Geralt’s knuckles. He heard the Witcher’s quiet gasp and smiled to himself. 

“You’re forgiven, Geralt. I love you very much and I refuse to be parted from your side from this day forward. Now, quiet that busy Witcher brain of yours and rest with me.”

[literaltrashforeverything]

m. osamu | good enough

》 miya osamu x fem!reader

↠ warnings: smut, oral (male receiving), soft sex, mentions of insecurity, slight blood warning

↠ word count: 6,519

↠ a/n: Putting some of my works from Ao3 onto Tumblr so if you see this on Archive don’t be alarmed lmao.  This is one of my personal favorite things I’ve written so I really hope it gets some attention :)

           “They’d make such a perfect couple.”

           “They’re both in love with volleyball and athletics, how could they not be in love?”

           “He’d be perfect for her.”

           “They’re like a match made in heaven.”

           Osamu almost agreed to every word the people around him spoke.  He listened with a forced smile as they babbled on about how perfect of a couple they’d make.  He wasn’t really a part of the conversation, but they spoke so loudly that he could hear every word.

           He wished he could suddenly go deaf the more and more they babbled on.

           “What about the other one?”

           “You mean his twin?  Oh, no, that’d never work out.”

           “Why not?”

           “Well. . . he just opened that restaurant and that’s just not the type of guy that would be good for her.”

           Osamu clenched his fists.  They must not know he’s here, or at least that he’s able to hear them.  Their families had always gossiped, even when they were three young children barely able to walk.

           Why wasn’t he good enough for you?  What made him any worse than Atsumu?

           He didn’t really want an answer, but he still got one.

           “You know. . . she needs to stay fit for volleyball. Besides, it’ll look better for her career if she’s with another volleyball player.”

           “Osamu is pretty fit.  He used to play volleyball.”

           “I know but he’s just. . . well, with that new restaurant opened it’s only a matter of time before he’ll start gaining weight.  Don’t you know how much that boy eats? He can’t keep all that weight away now that he’s out of volleyball.”

           “I guess that’s true. . .”

           Their words played on repeat in his head over and over every time he found himself in the gym, lifting weights.  He panted, arms trembling a bit as he worked on bench presses.  He was determined, and he refused to let himself gain the weight they said he would.

           Atsumu stared down at his counterpart, one brow raised.  He was spotting for him, but Osamu looked angry and he was paranoid it was his fault.

           “What’s with that look, ‘Samu?” he asked.

           “Nothin’.  I don’t have a look,” snapped Osamu.

           He knew it wasn’t fair to take it out on his brother. Atsumu never made any moves on you, not anything beyond the realm of being best friends.  Atsumu was an idiot, sure, but he knew when his brother was in love with someone.  He never mentioned it to Osamu, but they both knew.  You were off limits to ‘Tsumu, and neither of them were sure if ‘Samu was ever going to gather the courage to make a move on the girl he’d loved since childhood.

           Osamu’s biceps flexed as he pushed the weight up again. Atsumu was quick to recognize the signs of exhaustion.  Osamu had been at it for a while, pushing himself more than he usually did.

           Atsumu grabbed the weight from him and set it on the holder. Osamu’s grey eyes snapped up to him.

           “What the hell, ‘Tsumu?!” he sat up and glared at his twin.

           “One more press and you’d have dropped it on yer head,” Atsumu scoffed, “what the hell is yer problem?”

           Osamu clenched his fists.  He got up and grabbed his towel and water bottle.  To his annoyance, his brother followed him.  He completely disregarded his question and wiped some of the sweat from his face.  He took a glance down at his stomach, then flexed a little to check his arms.

           “Someone call ya fat or somethin’?” Atsumu questioned.

           “Shut up,” Osamu grumbled, “I’m not fat.”

           Atsumu didn’t like how quickly his brother defended himself. He crossed his arms over his chest, watching Osamu move to another machine.  He trailed after his twin and continued pushing.

           “Seriously, tell me what yer problem is—”

           “You’re my problem, Atsumu!” Osamu snapped.

           Instantly, Atsumu stopped pressing it.  They hardly ever called each other by their actual names unless it was something serious.  Clearly, his brother was really, genuinely upset.

           “Me?  What the hell did I do?”

           “Yer just so friggin’ perfect!  Mister fuckin’ perfect over here can get any girl he wants! What the hell to you got that I don’t?! We look exactly the same!  I exercise!  I ain’t fat and I don’t overeat jus’ cause I opened my own goddamn restaurant!  Why the hell am I the ‘other twin’?!  Why is it Atsumu an’ the other one?  Why ain’t it just Atsumu and Osamu?!  What the hell do I got that makes me inferior to ya?!”

           Osamu panted as he finished his rant, grey eyes glaring daggers into his shocked blond counterpart.  Atsumu didn’t know what to say.  Had people really been convincing his brother that he wasn’t good enough? That Atsumu was the better twin?

           Atsumu made plenty of jokes about being better, but he never actually believed them.  To him, Osamu was the better of the two.  Osamu knew it too.  He knew that if Atsumu had actually heard what people said, then he’d be the first one to stand up for him.  Atsumu would beat the hell outta someone talking shit about his twin brother, and Osamu knew it.

           And he still snapped it him. . .

           “Who told ya all that shit?” Atsumu muttered.

           “Doesn’t fuckin’ matter,” Osamu got up, shoving past his brother and heading to the locker room.  He could barely stand the sight of Atsumu.

           “You know that shit isn’t true!” Atsumu grabbed the back of Osamu’s black t-shirt.

           Osamu instantly recoiled.  He shoved Atsumu off him with as much strength as he could muster up, which, frankly, was a lot.  He glared at his twin and adjusted his shirt.  Atsumu glared back with the same amount of anger and his fists clenched.

           “Guys?  What happened?”

           Both boys whirled around to face you.  You stood not far from them, dressed in shorts and a tank top. Osamu couldn’t help but stare.  No matter how many times he saw you, even after all these years, you were still so beautiful to him.

           “’Samu’s being a fuckin’ prick is what happened,” Atsumu scoffed. “Said somethin’ about—”

           Osamu has never punched his brother so hard in his life. It was an impulse move, a bad one.  It wasn’t even the type of thing Atsumu would do, which made the dark-haired twin feel absolutely ashamed.

           He flicked his wrist, heaving as he stared at Atsumu who was on the ground covering his face.  You were kneeled beside him, panicking.  Other people in the gym noticed the commotion and came running over. Osamu clenched his fists, then stormed to the locker room without glancing back.

           He felt like the scum of the earth.

           He’d never changed so fast in his life.  He didn’t even bother to shower.  Osamu just grabbed his things and left.  He fumbled with his keys, grumbling under his breath.  He unlocked the door and pulled it open.

           Only for a hand to slam it closed.

           Osamu looked at you, who stood beside him looking furious. He gulped a little.

           “(Y/n)—”

           “What the hell was that, Osamu!?”

           Uh oh.  No nickname. He really was in trouble, and he deserved it, he knows he does.  You didn’t wait for an answer before you were continuing.  He just watched you pace.

           “You almost broke ‘Tsumu’s nose!  What the hell was your fight about that you punched him out of the blue like that and in public!  You and him have an image to uphold, ‘Samu!  Not only that, but you’ve been acting so weird lately!  It’s like you’re distancing yourself!  You’re always at the gym working out, you barely eat anymore, and now you’re beating Atsumu up in the middle of a gym!  And I don’t want any excuses!  I want the truth, Osamu!  Did something happen when we went back to Hyogo last week to see our families?  Don’t lie to me!”

           You were breathless when you finished talking, and staring up at his face with narrowed eyes.

           You knew the Miya twins better than anyone.  You’d been with them since the three of you were kids. You were their next door neighbor, and when your mother and theirs had become friends, so did you and the two boys.

           You were by their side through it all.  From the day they fell in love with volleyball (thus dragging you into it), to when you three attended Inarizaki, up to now with you and Atsumu being pro volleyball players and Osamu owning his own restaurant.  

           You were so proud of them both, and it was obvious that Osamu wasn’t proud of himself.

           Now that you called him out on all his bullshit, Osamu was completely embarrassed.  Luckily for him, he was really good at hiding his embarrassment.  Still, he felt stupid.  He didn’t think you’d notice.  You were busy with volleyball, just like Atsumu, so he never expected you to see that part of him.

           “You noticed all that?” he asked, gulping.

           “Of course I did, you idiot!” you smacked him on the side of the head.

           Osamu rubbed the side of his head, sighing.  He leaned back against his car and crossed his arms over his chest.  You stared at him, waiting for an answer.  He had to hold himself back from laughing, both at himself and you.

           You were probably the only person who had the guts to yell at him and his brother.  It’s not like girls commonly yelled at two 6’3 and very muscular guys.

           “I just. . .” Osamu sighed. “Well. . . yer mom said some things.”

           “My mom?  What the hell did she say?”

           Osamu felt stupider with every word he said.  He was walking a fine line.  He was on a tightrope of whether or not to confess his long-time feelings for you.  It would be easier to lie and say your mom thought volleyball was better than the food business.  Besides, you’d see right through it.  He’s not a good liar, he knows it, and he especially can’t lie to you when all you’d asked for was his honesty.

           Osamu averted his eyes.  He rubbed the back of his neck.

           “Well, uh, she said I wasn’t good enough for ya.  She said you and ‘Tsumu would be better because ya both play volleyball,” he confessed.

           It pissed him off just to say it out loud.  It made that insecurity bubble up again in his chest.

           “’Tsumu and I would be. . . better?  For what?”

           Osamu sometimes hated how clueless you could be.

           “She’s been wantin’ you and him to get together fer a long time, (Y/n),” he sighed, “she doesn’t want a guy like me steppin’ between you and my brother getting in a relationship.”

           Before he knew it, he was babbling.

           “Can’t even blame her.  Who’d want to date a guy like me?  Yer a volleyball player, yer athletic, ya need to stay healthy.  I’m not even playin’ sports anymore.  All I do is cook food and stuff my mouth full. I just. . . I didn’t wanna get fat like she said.  I didn’t wanna embarrass ya just in case I—”

           He stopped and shut his mouth.  You stepped forward, placing your hand on his arm.

           “. . . in case you what, ‘Samu?”

           Osamu turned to look at you.  You were close to him now, looking like the prettiest damn thing he’s ever laid eyes on.  You have always been so pretty to him and he’s so in love with every aspect of you that it hurts.

           He mustered up his courage and swallowed the lump of nervousness that’d built up in his throat.  He reached up to cup your cheek.

           “In case I ever got the courage to tell ya I’m in love with ya. . .” he muttered.

           Osamu loved the way your breath hitched.  He wanted to kiss you, he wanted to pull you against his body and taste you.  He wanted to do all the things he’d been afraid of doing, the things he was still afraid of doing.

           “’Samu, I-“

           “HEY DIPSHIT!”

           Osamu lurched his whole body away from yours.  He looked up to see his twin brother running at him. He choked on air, turning to dodge but ‘Tsumu was faster.  His foot collided with the back of his head and sent Osamu down to the ground.  He groaned loudly, gripping his head.

           “Fuuuck.”

           “That’s fer bein’ a fuckin’ asshole and almost breaking my nose!” Atsumu kicked him in the rib, and for once, Osamu took it because he knew he deserved it. “Next time I’ll break YOUR nose, ya fat prick!”

           “I am not fat!” Osamu snapped, glaring at Atsumu.

           No kidding about his nose.  It was bruised and he had two bloody wads of paper stuffed up in his nostrils.  His eyes were red and he was obviously in pain.  Osamu felt extremely guilty.  Atsumu gave him another solid kick to the ribs, before stubbornly holding out his hand for his twin.  He hesitantly accepted and let the blond pull him to his feet.

           You watched them, tiredly rubbing your temple.  It’s hard to believe that these two are actual adults.

           “Are you two done making each other ugly?” you asked, rubbing your temple.

           Atsumu scoffed.  He threw an arm around your neck and ruffled your hair.  You whined, punching his stomach to force him to let go.

           “Knock it off, ‘Tsumu!”

           “Not until a admit we’re not ugly.”

           “Never!”

           “Admit it, brat!”

           Osamu ran a hand through his tangled, dark hair.  He watched you and Atsumu, jealousy tugging at him to the core.  Like he always did, he put on a fake smile and leaned on his car.

           “I should go,” he said.

           You and Atsumu turned to him.

           “Wait, ‘Samu—”

           “Don’t worry ‘bout it.  I’ll see ya later, (Y/n).  And uh. . . ‘Tsumu,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “I’m sorry.”

           Osamu didn’t wait for an answer before he got into his car and left.  You and Atsumu watched him go.  The blond released you with a long, annoyed sigh.  He ran a hand through his hair.

           “What’a scrub.  I can’t believe he thinks he’s not good enough. . .” he muttered.

           You looked down at your feet, fists clenched at your sides. Osamu looked sad, distant.  He looked like he wasn’t content with his life and now you knew why.  He felt like he was inferior to his twin.  You felt like you should have recognized it, but you always loved him for just being. . . Osamu.  You didn’t compare him to Atsumu, not ever.  To you they were separate.  They weren’t just the twins.  They were Atsumu and Osamu, separate.  Because of your own view on them, you didn’t even recognize Osamu’s insecurity.

           You wondered how long it’d been there.

           “Atsumu. . . he. . . Osamu said he loves me,” you muttered to your best friend, “and I love him back but he doesn’t think he’s good enough for me.”

           “Wait, he finally told ya?”

           You looked up at him. “W-What do you mean ‘finally’?  How long has he felt like that?”

           Like a vice, Atsumu zipped his trap.  He raised his hand in mock surrender and turned away to make his way back to the gym.  You went after him.  You grabbed the back of his t-shirt and tugged.

           “’Tsumu, tell me!”

           “Just go ask ‘im yerself!” he protested, dragging you along as he continued walking.

           “What if he won’t answer me!?”

           Atsumu stopped.  He turned around and looked you dead in the eyes.

           “He will.  He won’t lie to you.”

           Osamu sighed as he entered his apartment.  It was down the block from his restaurant and honestly, he was wishing he went there instead.  It felt more like home sometimes.  He tossed his keys lazily on the coffee table, then kicked off his shoes and made his way to the bathroom for a shower.

           He couldn’t believe he actually told you he loved you then left you there with the guy who’d been his competition for his whole life. What if you liked ‘Tsumu?  What if you were like your mom and you thought the same way?

           He grumbled, standing beneath the hot water of the shower as his thoughts ran rampant.  He felt like a lovesick idiot.  He was a grown ass adult and here he was acting like a lovesick teenager.

           Osamu got out of the shower and got dressed.  He didn’t even bother to dry his hair.  He just glanced at it in the mirror, remembering back to a time when he used to dye it grey.  Now it’d grown out to it’s natural dark brown color.

           With a sigh, he headed to the kitchen to get started on his dinner.  He’d barely pulled out the ingredients before he heard loud knocking at the door.

           “I swear, if it’s Tsumu. . .” he grumbled, wiping his hands on his pants, before going to answer.

           He was not expecting to see you standing on the other side of the door when he opened it.  You jumped forward, practically leaping onto him and wrapping your arms around his neck.  He quickly caught you in his arms, stumbling back a little.

           “W-What the hell are ya doin’ here?” he sputtered.

           You clung onto him like a koala, legs wrapping around his waist while your hands clung onto the back of his Onigiri Miya t-shirt.  He kicked the door shut and brought you to his couch.  You didn’t let go of him until he sat down with you planted right on his lap.

           Your arms released him in favor of cupping both his chubby, red cheeks.  He stared at you with confused grey eyes.

           “How long?” you asked.

           His face went blank. “Huh?”

           “How long have you been in love with me?  ‘Tsumu said you ‘finally confessed’ like you’ve known for a while.” you explained.

           Osamu decided that the next time he saw his twin, he really was going to break his nose.  That damn bastard can never keep his mouth shut. . . He cleared his throat and awkwardly averted his gaze.

           “Ya seriously came all the way to my place to ask me how long I’ve been in love with ya?”

           “Well. . . yes. . .”

           He sighed and chuckled a little. “Wow.”

           “Shut up and tell me.”

           Osamu knew there was no getting out of this one.  He laid his arms over the back of the couch and looked at you.  You looked. . . hopeful?  Excited? He wasn’t even sure what emotion could be used to describe the expression on your face.

           “Probably since middle school,” he confessed.

           He sounded a lot more relaxed than he really felt.  Finally saying it out loud made his heart hammer in his ears, but it also lifted a weight off his shoulders that he didn’t even realize was there.  He didn’t realize the impact of hiding his feelings for all these years and regretted not saying something sooner.

           “M-Middle school?” your eyes were wide. “’Samu, why didn’t you—”

           “Say something?” he sighed. “Because you and ‘Tsumu would have made a better couple.”

           Your eyes widened even more.  Osamu ran a hand through his hair.

           “Ya guys both love volleyball way more than me.  Plus yer both just. . . well, fuckin’ perfect.  I never fit in that equation so I kept my trap shut.”

           Osamu winced when your hands slapped both of his cheeks. He grabbed your wrists lightly.

           “Hey, would ya quit slappin’ me?”

           “No, because you’re an idiot!” you snapped.

           “. . . huh. . .?”

           “You’re perfect, Osamu!  You’re amazing and you’re perfect to me!” you stared him dead in the eyes as you ranted. “You’re not inferior to Atsumu.  Just because you didn’t stick with volleyball doesn’t make you less than us! You love making food, you love it! We would never blame you for doing what you love to do!”

           Osamu was stunned, watching tears pool in your eyes as you continued.  Your arms went slack in his hands where he was holding your wrists.  You hunched forward, laying your head on his chest.

           “I’m in love with you too, ‘Samu.  You’re amazing in every way and you’re so handsome. . . I love you—I’ve loved you for years. . .”

           You fell a silent, letting your words hang in the air for him to process.  He could barely breathe.  His heart was hammering and he felt like he was floating.  You. . . love him?  You’ve been in love with him for years?

           Osamu let go of your wrists and grabbed your jaw, making you look at him.  He was acting entirely on impulse as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours. You were stunned for a moment, before returning the kiss.  His lips were warm and made your head spin as they moved against yours with a passion.

           One arm wrapped around his neck to bring him closer against you.  He caught your other hand with his and entwined your fingers.  His hand was big in yours and you were reminded how much bigger and stronger Osamu was, and yet he still managed to be the softest person you knew.

           His tongue swept across your bottom lip, begging for entrance. He wanted to taste all of you.  He didn’t want this to end.

           You parted your lips.  His hand squeezed yours as your tongues danced in a fight for dominance. Naturally, he won, and took his prize by pulling you closer against him.  You could feel his growing bulge press against your crotch.  A small moan left your lips.  You grinded against him, throwing your head back and exposing your neck to his hungry eyes.  Instantly, he was on you, lips attacking the soft skin of your neck.  He was soft with each kiss he placed on your flesh.  He didn’t leave any marks, no matter how much he wanted to.

           “S-Samu,” you moaned, tangling your fingers in his dark hair and tugging lightly.

           He’d be lying if he said he never imagined hearing you moan his name.  Hearing it now sent his heart soaring.

           Osamu grabbed you, holding you under your thighs as he stood up and began making his way to his bedroom.  You clung to his broad shoulders, peppering kisses along his neck as he walked.

           He laid you back on his bed.  You reached to him to pull him back to you.  He slipped off his shirt, before joining you in bed.  You let your hands trail down his chest and stomach.  He was muscular, built from years of volleyball and now from constant exercise. You loved the way he looked, but you felt bad that he’d been pushing himself so far just because he was worried he wasn’t good enough for you. . .

           The pads of your fingers brushed over the dark patch of hair that trailed into his pants.  Your cheeks instantly flushed and you pulled your hand back like he’d burned you.

           Osamu just chuckled a little.  He crawled over you, pressing his lips against yours and holding his weight up on his arms.  You held his cheeks, savoring the taste of him while he all but stole the air from your lungs.

           His lips parted from yours and began peppering kisses down your neck.  You tangled your fingers in his dark hair.  It’s so soft compared to the dyed version back in high school.  He left soft kisses over your clothes chest all the way down to your waist where his hands slipped beneath the fabric of your shirt. You lifted your back off the bed as he began slipping it off your body.

           It’s funny. . . you can’t remember the last time you were embarrassed in front of Osamu.  But now, with him staring down at your body, you could feel embarrassment seeping in. It’s hard to believe someone as attractive as him, best friend or not, would ever be in love with you.  He didn’t even know how amazing he was.

           “Fuck. . .” he muttered, running his hands over your sides. “Yer so damn pretty.”

           You sat up, pressing your lips to his.  You didn’t let the embarrassment set in, and before you knew it, you were pulling off your bra.  Osamu watched your breasts spill from the undergarment, his eyes shining.

           He felt like a virgin all over again when his hands snapped up to cup them.  You were on another level, so perfect and pretty and all for him.  A possessive side he didn’t know he had kicked in and he imagined being the last man on earth to see this.  He wanted to be with you forever.

           Osamu groaned when he felt your hand brush over his bulge.  He was grateful when you unzipped his pants.  He helped you shimmy them off his long legs, kicking them aside somewhere with the rest of your clothing.  He wasn’t satisfied.  He wanted you naked.  He wanted to see all of you.  He wanted it all and for once he was content with being greedy like his brother.

           His hands fervently tugged the shorts off your legs and threw them aside with more strength than he intended.  He ran his hands along your soft legs, admiring them. He had plenty of chances to admire them when you were in shorts on the court, and he couldn’t help but get a little possessive.

           “Osamu,” you murmured, snapping him from his daze.

           You held his jaw and turned his head toward you.  It felt like a dream when your lips were against his again.  He savored the way your hands ran over his chest.  You pushed him down on his back and shifted yourself so you were straddling him.

           His big hands naturally found themselves on your hips. He gulped, watching you pepper kisses down his chest and abs.  You looked anxious as your fingers delicately hooked on the waistband of his boxers. He lifted his hips off the bed as you tugged them off his legs.  He squeezed your lips and let out a small sigh of relief, no longer feeling constricted.

           Still, he was embarrassed to have you seeing him so exposed.

           You cautiously wrapped your hand around the base of his cock. His fingers dug into your skin as you pumped his length.  He couldn’t help but smirk a little because he could tell you were nervous.  At least he wasn’t self-conscious about that department.

           “(Y/n),” he spoke. “Don’t feel pressured.”

           You could practically melt at the sound of his voice in that moment.  It was deepy, raspy.  It was beautiful, just like everything about him.  You wanted to do this.  You wanted to prove that he was good enough for you.  Too good for you, even.

           Instead of answering, you leaned down.  You peppered soft kisses along his shaft.  His breath hitched.  He watched your lips wrap around his tip.  You bobbed your head slowly, savoring the taste and weight of him in your mouth.  Osamu groaned with each pump, throwing his head back into the pillows.  Even so, he couldn’t tear his eyes away.  You were so goddamn pretty.  So fucking perfect and he was on top of the world.

           And, for the first time in almost his whole life, he felt worthy.

           You were so soft.  Everything about you was soft.  Your lips, your words, your skin, your mind.  He wanted to take it all for himself and never share it with anyone. He wanted to be the last guy in your life because he wanted you with him forever.

           He sucked in a breath as he watched you go down on him. Just watching you made it difficult for him to hold himself back.  He would come too soon if you kept on, and that was the last thing he wanted.

           Osamu sat up, wrapping an arm around you and tugging you off him.  You looked at him with flushed cheeks.  He swiped his thumb over your bottom lip, brushing away the saliva.  You were breathtaking, even now, and Osamu Miya was so entirely in love.

           He pushed you back on the bed, resisting the urge to kiss you so he could pull off your last article of clothing.  Even such a small piece made all the difference to him.  He couldn’t believe this was you.  This was the same girl he’d known since his childhood.  The same one who used to bathe with him and Atsumu when they were almost too young to remember.

           “Fuck,” he breathed, “yer the prettiest goddamn thing.”

           Warmth swelled in your chest.  You couldn’t resist reaching up to wrap your arms around him.  Your lips were against his in a haste, moving and tongues entwining.  His hands roamed the expanse of your thighs, pushing them apart enough for his hips to fit between them.

           He brushed his hand over your folds, swiping a finger through them to gather up your fluid.  You moaned into his open mouth, and he drank it in like you were the last drop of water in a desert.  The sounds you made were equally as pretty as you are.  He slipped a finger into you, pumping slowly.  Your back arched off the bed from the minor stretch. You threw your head back and bit your swollen bottom lip.

           “’Samu,” you moaned.

           Fuck, if he wasn’t in love with the sound of his name on your lips.

           “Say my name,” he mumbled, leaning down to press kisses into your jawline, “say it.”

           He needed to hear it.  He wanted to hear it.  If he had a choice, he’d want you to be the only person who ever got to say his name from this moment forward.

           “Osamu, please,” you begged. “I need you.”

           He pulled his hand away.  You breathed heavily, chest heaving as his hips fit easily between your open thighs.  He fit perfectly, like a puzzle piece you always needed.  He lined the tip of his cock with your soaked entrance, gathering up your essence, before beginning to press in.

           You back arched off the bed as he stretched you. He groaned deeply, lips crashing onto yours while his hands shot down to hold onto yours.  He pressed them into the mattress at either side of your head, fingers entwining with yours and you’ve never felt so safe.  Osamu was the definition of safe, you had no doubt.

           You kissed him sloppily as his hips finally pressed against yours and he was fully inside you.  He was warm, big.  He felt so perfect.  To him, you were perfect. You took him so well and he could feel the way his chest swelled with pride.

           “Osamu, more,” you begged, squeezing his hands.

           He pulled his hips back, before bringing them back to yours.  Every thrust was slow, but hard.  He loved the way you sang his name.  Normally, he was quiet during sex but for you he supposed he could sing a little.  It was hard not to.

           “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he groaned, “yer so fucking perfect.  I’m so in love with ya.  I want more, I want all of ya.”

           “Y-Yours, ‘Samu!  I’m yours!” you cried for him, clinging onto his every move.

           He wanted to kiss you so bad but he wanted to hear your sounds more.  He wanted to keep admiring the beautiful faces you made for him as you moaned his name and let him fuck you like a man driven wild by love.

           “Yer my pretty girl—fuck—I’m so fuckin’ lucky. How’d I get so goddamn lucky?” he panted.

           One of his hands released yours and moved to hold your jaw.  The temptation became too much.  His lips were pressed into yours while his hips snapped into yours.  He kept the same pace, wanting to drag this moment out for as long as possible because part of him was terrified it would never happen again.  Part of him still wasn’t sure if this was a dream or reality.

           He’d savor it no matter what.

           Osamu groaned at the feeling of your nails scraping down his back.  His hips snapped forward harshly, resulting in a squeak from you that he quickly swallowed as he pulled you into another kiss.  His other hand released yours to move down between your legs and rub your clit. You were screaming for him, begging for more and he wasn’t the type of man to ignore what you want.

           He picked up his pace, breathing heavily. You were close, he could feel it with the way your walls squeezed around his cock.  He was close too.

           “Shit, shit, shit!” he panted.

           “Fuck!  ‘Samu, I’m so close!” your fingers tangled in his hair, tugging rather harshly that resulted in another harsh snap of his hips.

           “Come on, fucking let go for me, baby girl,” he groaned.

           Your whole body trembled when he brought you over the edge.  He hissed a little, continuing to snap his hips at a faster pace than before.  He was chasing his own high as you screamed in euphoria for Osamu.

           The arms holding up his weight flexed and wobbled as he finally reached his high.  Your legs were tight around his hips, not letting him slip out as he came.  He breathed heavily, giving slow thrusts as he came down. You whimpered a little with oversensitivity.  He stopped, now just staring down at your face.

           You and him just stared at one another, breathing heavily.  A droplet of sweat slid down the bridge of his nose and dropped down onto your collarbone. You reached up, arms wobbly, and pushed his dark hair from his face.  You could feel his own arms wobbling as he struggled to hold up his weight.  He was exhausted, both from the gym and from this.

           “It’s okay, ‘Samu,” you murmured.

           He let out a long breath, before falling on top of you.  You giggled a little despite his weight crushing you a bit.  He rolled over before he could suffocate you.  You rolled over, resting your head on his bicep as his fingers played with your hair.  You ran your hands over his chest, still breathless but this time it was because of how totally in love with Osamu Miya you are.

           “I love you,” he spoke first.

           You smiled, looking at his face. “I love you too.”

           A soft silence settled in the room.  You shut your eyes, cuddling up against Osamu’s side.  No official question was asked, even though it was itching at the tip of his tongue, but you both knew who you belonged to.  He took pride in being yours, but had even more pride in the fact that you were his.

           “Are ya hungry?” he blurted suddenly, feeling a weird need to make sure you were fed and hydrated.

           You yawned a little. “Yeah, I’m pretty hungry and your cooking is always the best, Samu.”

           He chuckled a little.  He reluctantly dragged himself out of bed and made his way to the bathroom.  He came back with a washcloth and got you and himself cleaned up.  He lazily tossed it aside into the far corner of his room. You grumbled and got out of his bed. With wobbly legs, you slipped on your panties along with the Onigiri Miya shirt he’d been wearing earlier.  He threw on some sweats and a different t-shirt.

           Once dressed, the two of you walked to the kitchen hand-in-hand.

           “Hey.  Have fun?”

           You and Osamu froze in the doorway, staring at the obnoxious blond twink who was sitting on Osamu’s counter eating his cereal straight from the box.  Atsumu’s eyes narrowed.  He had bandages over his nose now and honestly looked like a whole mess.  His blond hair stuck up in every direction and he didn’t even bother to change out of his bloodied t-shirt from earlier.

           Osamu’s brow twitched.  Embarrassment and anger flowed through him.  He wanted nothing more than to punch Atsumu’s lights out but he’d already done that earlier so he decided against it—

           “I expected to come over and find ya guys wholesomely cooking food together,” Atsumu huffed. “Naturally, I had to come steal some but instead I hear ya dipshits goin’ at it like rabbits and now I have’ta eat ceral for dinner.”

           “WHY DON’T YOU EAT YER OWN DAMN FOOD, ‘TSUMU!?” Osamu threw the nearest object at his brother, which happened to be a magnet from the fridge.

           “Because ya owe me for breakin’ my fucking nose!”

           “Can I not have some fuckin’ privacy!?” Osamu hissed.

           You sighed, rubbing your temple tiredly.  You walked to Osamu’s fridge and dug through for something simple to make some food while the twins continued arguing. Eventually Osamu got Atsumu out of the kitchen by bribing him with a clean, non-bloodied shirt.  Now a shirtless Osamu was making you and him sandwiches.

           You leaned your front against his broad back, wrapping your arms around his middle and watching him make the sandwiches.

           Atsumu peeked his head around the doorway, eyes narrowing a little.

           “Ya dumbasses are finally official, right?” he asked.

           Osamu’s brow twitched.  You grabbed his hand to keep him from throwing the butter knife at his brother.

           “Yeah, we are,” you answered.

           “Fuckin’ about time.  I was getting real sick of watchin’ ya fawn over each other for years,” he waved his hand then left the apartment.

           You and Osamu stood there in silent embarrassment for a few minutes.  Atsumu’s words sank in.

           “This whole time. . .” you trailed off.

           “He knew it the whole time and didn’t say a word. . .” Osamu let out a long sigh. “I hate him.”

           You laughed.  You and Osamu sat at the dining table.  He tugged you onto his lap while the two of you happily enjoyed your sandwiches. He was content, more content than he’d ever been in his whole life.  He kept an arm wrapped loosely around your waist just to keep himself grounded because this wasn’t a dream.

           This wasn’t a dream.  You were here.  You were with him, his girlfriend, and you were just as in love with him as he was with you.  He was good enough all along and he felt stupid for never seeing it.

           . . .

           “What will yer mom say when she finds out?” he asked.

           “She can suck my dick,” you huffed, “I love you and that won’t change.”

           “Hm. . . Well, ya know, my mom will be happy that yer finally dating one of us.  She’s been begging us to marry ya since middle school.”

           “Seriously?” you turned to him with a stunned expression. “What did you say?”

           Even more surprising was the fact that Osamu was grinning.  He propped his elbow up on the table and rested his chin in his open palm.  He stared at you with all the love in the world.

           “I told ‘er I was gonna be the one to marry ya.”

[abnormallynice]

Confession By Proxy

Read it on AO3

Collab with the wonderful @kirbychan234​ to make a prequel fic/comic for the First Date Comic I made a whiiile ago because everyone was curious why exactly Neku was so beaten up. I did the pretty pictures and they did the amazing words and stuff! ;D

Go give KirbyChan some love on tumblr and AO3 for writing the fic portion and making me squee with their writing >:3

Neku sighs as he drops his bag to the side, the door to his apartment sliding shut on its own. It’s late, he’s tired and sore and way too lazy to worry about unpacking right now. He’ll do it tomorrow. Or maybe never. Whichever one comes first.

Instead, he goes over to his closet and starts to remove his scarf and coat. Once those are deposited on the floor as well (he’ll hang them up later, he swears), Neku reaches to close the door. 

“Have fun?”

The voice makes Neku jump and fall into his still open closet. “JESUS-!” Very unmanly, and he can hear laughter behind him that makes his blood boil. 

Joshua looks as smug as ever when Neku turns around to glare at him. “Close,” he replies airily. “But not quite~” And he shrugs, like he didn’t just scare the living daylights out of him.

“For fuck’s sake-” Neku groans as he sits up. “Text. Doorbell. Knocking. PICK ONE. Seriously, that’s all you’d have to do.” 

Neku cuts himself off when he feels a familiar jolt of pain in his arm. He grabs it without thinking and feels a warm wetness, and when he pulls his hand away, his fingers are tinged with blood. “...Shit.” 

He doesn’t even see Joshua move, but suddenly he’s there, kneeling down beside him, and with a surprisingly gentle touch on his wounded arm. Neku feels his breath catch in his throat as Joshua looks over the bloodstain with calculating eyes. “What is-?”

The gentle hand is smacked away. Joshua’s pity is neither wanted nor needed. “Nothing,” Neku says while quickly getting to his feet. “It’s nothing.” 

“That doesn’t-”

Neku doesn’t give him a chance to say anything else before quickly darting off. He runs into the bathroom and locks the door. He can hear Joshua sigh exasperatedly but he hardly cares. There’s a way more pressing issue right now. He already aches all over; he does not need this. 

There’s a soft knock at the door. Oh so he does know how to knock. “What are you hiding, Neku?” Joshua asks easily. 

“I said nothing!” Neku yells back. “Just leave! Poof away, magic genie!”

He can practically feel Joshua rolling his eyes, but Neku ignores it. What he can’t ignore, however, is the sudden chill running down his spine. This sensation...it’s familiar, he’s definitely felt it before, almost like-

Noise?

And then the sensation is gone as quickly as it appeared. In its place stands Joshua, inside the bathroom, having come from nowhere and looking none too impressed. Neku freezes, not only from surprise, but also because Joshua can see the stitches in his arm now. “Don’t DO that! Can’t a guy have some damn privacy? Go away!”

Joshua has clearly had enough. Neku can barely blink before Josh was in his personal space once more, grabbing his face and looking him over. Neku squirms, but Josh holds strong, appraising the bruise on his jaw and the bandage on his right eyebrow.

“Mm.” Josh hums and eventually lets Neku go. “Face is fine. Although it looks like one of the stitches on your arm came loose.”

“Huh?” Neku looks down to his arm. Well. That explains the blood. “Oh. Shit. Uh, I should really go to a hospital-”

Joshua puts a finger over Neku’s mouth, smiling pleasantly like usual. “No need for that, dear~”

Neku feels himself blushing, and he hates it, because he knows Josh isn’t taking this seriously. And he’s got that tone again, like Joshua knows something he doesn’t. Then again, what else is new? “Shut up,” he grumps. “I don’t need you revealing another improbable mystery that is Joshua Kiryu. Leave me alone.”

To absolutely no one’s surprise, Joshua doesn’t listen and instead gently takes Neku’s arm in his hands. “Now now, let’s take a look. I’ll be but a minute, and I’ll even do it free of charge.”

“That’s a lie.”

“No lies this time~” Neku resists the urge to groan. This time, he says. Ugh. “Won’t you tell me what happened though? I didn’t expect you to come home all beaten up.” 

He really doesn’t want to. But Neku gets the feeling Josh won’t let it go until he does. So…

The room is quiet when Neku finishes, the only sound is the small rustling of Joshua rebandaging Neku’s arm. They moved into Neku’s living room while he explained what happened, Neku sitting on the couch and Joshua sitting on the nearby coffee table. It’s hard to tell what Josh is thinking; nevermind that Neku can barely see his face from where he’s sitting. It still annoys him, because more than likely, he’s smirking that smug smirk of his. 

“The fine line between bravery and suicide,” Joshura starts, and yep, that smirk is there. Neku knew it, and it annoys him even more. “You sure know how to tightrope across it, don’t you, Neku?” His tone betrays sweetness, laced with sarcasm instead. It makes Neku grit his teeth. “What would you have done?” He snaps, and then immediately regrets his question. Knowing Joshua, he’d probably take a video or something. 

Besides, no matter what Joshua, or anyone for that matter, thought, Neku doesn’t regret his decision. He doesn’t want to imagine what kind of injuries a six-year-old girl would get with an impact like that. “Ugh, nevermind. It’s just a scrape anyway, it’s not a big deal.” 

Joshua raises a brow at him. “Oh? “Just a scrape”?” He doesn’t look impressed, and Neku’s eye twitches at his tone. “One that needed twelve stitches?” Okay so maybe it’s a little more than that, but whatever. “Be grateful your little falling act only bumped it instead of tore it open even more. This’ll last much longer since, well, I bound it this time~” 

Neku rolls his eyes. “My savior. Yay.” 

The chuckle that follows makes Neku nervous. He jolts when he feels arms lean on his legs. Joshua is very close now, staring up at him from between his knees, resting on his haunches and leaning his arms on Neku’s thighs. Neku has to fight hard not to blush. “So snappy,” he says with another laugh. “Is the child still grumpy about the argument we had before he left?”

There’s that tone again. Neku’s embarrassment dies down quickly, and he sighs. “Would you stop? I don’t have the energy.” And he’s not lying, but he also really just doesn’t want to talk about this right now, not when Josh is being such an asshole about it. 

But...now that he gets a better look at Joshua, it doesn’t seem like he’s trying to be an asshole...at least not right now. He actually looks curious, like he’s actually bothered by the fact that Neku could still be upset. Which is stupid, because Neku knows better than to think Josh could be bothered by anything. 

Other than, you know, attempting to kiss him and then having him disappear for five years. But that’s neither here nor there. 

“I...was,” Neku finally replies honestly. “...But I get the reasons why you couldn’t come along.”

Joshua’s smile is, for once, soft. He leans his cheek on his arm (which is still on Neku’s leg what the fuck Josh). “Is not having me under your constant supervision that upsetting? Would putting a leash on me satisfy?” 

Neku tries to ignore that mental image and huffs. Well excuse him for being paranoid about his friend disappearing again for another five years. Really, Joshua has nobody to blame but himself for that. “Oh please,” he replies. “As if I could ever control you. I’d never want to, and even if I ever tried, I know I can’t. I just wanted…”

He trails off, looks anywhere but at Joshua. “I just...wanted my friend to come with us on a trip, that’s all.” And Neku curses his heart rate for speeding up at the word “friend”. “I don’t know why I got so upset that you couldn’t go. Of course you couldn’t have gone, I know that, but…” 

Joshua cuts him off with another laugh. “Aw. I’m touched, Neku,” he says, amused.

Neku is frozen. What a time to remember what Shiki said, now, with Joshua so damn close to him. And with his heart rate betraying him even more, feeling like it’s about to explode out of his chest. Joshua is so close, Neku wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear the damn thing. 

If he does, Joshua doesn’t comment on it. He’s still far too close though. “Maybe it’s better that I didn’t go, seeing how you ended up,” he says lightly. “It seems like it was far too exciting a trip for my tastes-”

“Why do you keep touching me?” Neku interrupts him, unable to look at him, and wanting to get his rapidly beating heart to calm the fuck down, Jesus Christ. 

“Hm?” Joshua’s smirk turns playful. “What’s wrong? Afraid I’ll bite, dea-?”

“STOP.” 

Neku’s voice even surprises himself. But thankfully it does the trick; Joshua stops his tease and is now looking more serious than Neku has ever seen him. He sits back a bit, gives Neku a little more breathing room, but doesn’t stop looking at him. Keeps silent as if waiting for Neku to continue.

He swallows, nervous, and leans his arms on his legs where Josh just was. “Just...just stop dancing around my questions. For once, just give me a straight answer.”

Joshua keeps quiet, and Neku bites his lip, staring at the floor. “Why do you keep touching me so casually? Why only me? Why…” He sighs. “Why does my heart break every time you do?”

He grabs onto Joshua’s sleeve, still refusing to make eye contact. “Why did you come back? Why did you leave? Did our friendship mean nothing to you? Am I nothing to you?” With every word, Neku feels himself start to get choked up more and more, and it shocks him. Why is this just coming out now? 

Finally, Neku finds the courage to lift his head, and meets Joshua’s gaze.

As soon as the words leave his mouth, Neku freezes. ‘Wh-what? Why did I say that? I meant *like*!’ His throat refuses to work anymore, and now there’s no way he can save this. He clutches Joshua’s sleeve tighter. ‘No! I fucked up! Don’t leave me…!’

“I don’t know.” 

Neku lets out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. Joshua’s voice betrays no emotion; it’s impossible to know what he’s thinking. “You make me feel at ease. I think I might have some yearning, but then again, I’m probably not the best judge.”

He’s so matter-of-fact that it throws Neku for a complete loop. “Huh?” 

“I’m answering your questions, Neku,” Joshua replies patiently. “As honestly as I am able.” Neku’s heart jumps in his throat when Joshua takes his hand delicately. “I came back because I wanted to understand. I left because I didn’t understand. And no, you’ve been the best friend I’ve ever had. I’m not sure what you are, but “nothing” is far from it.” 

Then Joshua takes Neku’s other hand, looking so damn gentle. Neku isn’t sure how he’s even breathing at this point. He’s pretty sure his heart is about to pop out of his chest at any second. “And finally, I might have still left. I don’t know. But I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere. Not unless you want me to.” 

It takes a moment for Neku’s voice to work again. “Uh…” he finally manages to get out. “Wow. I’m...surprised that actually worked.”

As if the past few minutes didn’t happen, that smirk was back on Joshua’s face. “Better take advantage of my honesty while you still can~” he says, and presses Neku’s hand to his cheek teasingly. 

And shit, that’s actually really cute? Neku flushes horribly and sputters, a little miffed that Josh rendered him speechless far too many times in the short hour or so he’s been here. “Um - uh - what - what’s your social media password?”

Without missing a beat, Joshua replies, “dr0p_d3ad_g0rg30s.”

How the hell did he do that with his mouth??? “Did you let me win at Tin Pin Online?”

“Yes, but only the first time.”

“How old are you for real?”

Joshua laughs. “Old enough~” 

And just like that, honesty hour is gone. “That’s cheating!” Neku huffs. 

Even if Josh doesn’t bother with a response, that’s fine. There are other things Neku wants to say anyway. “Um so, one more question?” 

“Alright.”

Neku bites the inside of his cheek, hesitates. “Do you...wanna date?”

Joshua hums, looks to be in deep thought, though his smile softens quite a bit. “Sure,” he replies. “I’ll go steady with you, Neku.” 

Holy shit. Neku can’t believe this is actually happening. Internally, he’s screaming. On the outside, however, all he can do is clear his throat. “Dope.” 

Okay that was lame as hell. But he can’t take it back now. 

“My turn.” 

Neku snaps to sudden attention. “What?”

“I have questions too,” Joshua adds. “I believe it’s my turn, if you’re done~” 

Uh-oh. Neku doesn’t like that look in Joshua’s eye. He takes a deep breath, willing himself to believe that the worst has already passed. “Uh...okay, sure.” 

“When are you going to stop asking dumb questions and kiss me?”

Neku’s internal screaming, which had calmed down in the last few seconds, suddenly shoots right back up even louder than before. It takes an absurd amount of self-control to not shriek like a giddy school girl asking out her crush. Instead, Neku manages to take a deep breath, cough, and finally answer. “I was getting to it, smartass.” 

[swiftlymoniquesblog]

Perfectly Confused Angel- Epilogue

A/N: Wow, I can’t believe we have come to the end of PCA! I began writing this after a conversation with a friend and it turned into one of my favorite stories! Thank you so much for reading this and enjoying it; y’all are amazing! I felt like after 15x18 of Supernatural (if you haven’t seen it, I won’t say what happened) I owed him this kind of happiness. And what better GIF to end this series than with the one that started this series? I love Misha and Castiel will always have a home in my heart

So even though it’s not mentioned until later on, I envision this epilogue to take place six months after the wedding. 

You can read the entire series here and find more fandoms I write for here.

Tag lists requests are open for all fandoms but they are CLOSED for this series.

Warnings: Lots of fluff, Cas being a naughty boi! Mentions of sex but very slightly, Dean eating tons of shit (that’s a warning) cliffhanger!

Word Count: 2,350 

Reader’s POV

Being married took some getting used to but honestly, we both had wanted this more than anything in the world, so we were ready and we were quick to adjust. After our honeymoon, which Castiel took a great interest in because we got to take a trip for two weeks and go somewhere exotic. We chose to go to Italy and we explored the more popular cities; Rome, Sicily, Venice, and Milan. The entire Italian culture was new and exciting, especially for Cas because he was so used to America and the customs they have, that seeing the way of life for Italians was completely different. When you came home, you had decided to move out of the Bunker and into your own place. Sure, Sam and Dean offered for you to stay there, but since Cas and you had plans to have children at some point, you thought it would be better to have your own space and give the Winchesters their own space. Both brothers helped you pick your place and assisted in the moving, until you were settled. The first night in your new place didn’t quite go too well. Being so used to the Bunker, every little creak in the doors or the sound of the wind blowing against the windows, made both of you rather paranoid.

“Don’t worry, Honeybee, it’s all just noise,” Cas whispered to you as you moved as close as possible to him in your shared bed. “We locked every door and window in the house.”

“Will you still protect me?” You ask, in a small, timid voice.

“Of course, I will. I will always protect you, (Y/N). That’s my job as your husband, isn’t it?” He said, as more of a question than a statement. He was still adjusting to the role of a husband and was afraid he wasn’t going to “do a good job.”

“Yes Cas, we will protect each other. You have your angel blade close by, right? Just in case?” You ask.

He chuckled before sitting up and grabbing his pillow from behind him. “It’s right here, just in case,” he said, showing you the blade that laid waiting to be used.

When sleep eventually came and took over, it felt different and you felt more rested in the morning, because he was there beside you, holding you close as you slept. As the sun rose the next morning, it shined through the blinds over the window and right into your eyes. Groaning and turning your head away from the light, you feel Cas chuckle at your childlike complaint.

“Good morning, Honeybee,” he said, kissing your temple, causing another groan to push past your lips.

“If it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep,” you say, your voice muttered by Castiel's shirt.

He laughs again before trying another approach to wake you. He leaned down to kiss along your forehead, trailing down the bridge of your nose, to your cheek that wasn’t hiding in the pillows, before ending on your lips. At first, you tried to fight him, not really wanting to wake up, no matter how much he kissed you, but when you felt his hand in a rather sensitive area, you immediately woke up and kissed him back.

“So, I guess someone’s up now,” he smirked as he pulled away to look down at you.

“Well if you’re going to do this kind of stuff, I wouldn’t mind waking up every morning,” you say, before bringing him back to your lips.

It was nice to just take your time and not have to worry about being anywhere anytime soon. Walking out to the kitchen, you took out the ingredients and a frying pan for pancakes; one of Castiel’s favorites. You thought to add chocolate chips in the batter because Cas had a bit of a sweet tooth and you knew he wouldn’t oppose the melted chocolatey goodness. Grabbing the mix, you measure out enough for the two of you, adding some water to help with the consistency. Mixing it all together, you add a half a bag of chips to the thickening batter, before finding the perfect consistency. When the pan was heated up, you took a ladle and poured batter in four separate places, making little circles as the mix bubbled up just a bit. As time passed, you examined the bottom part of the cake to see if it was turning into a brownish color, before you flip over to cook the other side. When the cakes were cooked thoroughly on both sides, you scooped them up and flipped them down on a plate and placed a small pad of butter on each one. As you started your process over again, you felt arms wrap around your waist and the tickle of someone's breath on your neck.

“Looks good darlin’,” Cas said in your ear, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin.

“Thank you, should be ready in a few minutes. You can grab a plate and get started if you want,” you say, twisting to look up at your husband.

“Now why would I do that?” He asks.

“Cause you’re hungry?” You answer, confusion obvious in your tone.

“Yes, but I would rather wait until you can sit and eat with me,”

“That, that right there, is why I married you. Well, it’s one of the many reasons why I married you, but your level of sweetness should be illegal,” you say, smiling at the blush that formed on your husband’s face.

“Well, you deserve that kind of sweetness,” he admitted, before coming back to your side and kissing your cheek.

“Breakfast is served!” You said proudly, when your last pancake was platted and buttered.

“Wonderful! I made us some coffee too,” Cas said, placing a mug in front of where you were going to sit at the table and his across from you. Just as you sat down and were about to cut your first piece of pancake, there was a knock at the door. You sighed, putting your fork down, before moving to stand from the table.

“I’ll get it,” Cas said, putting his hand out as a gesture for you to stay put.

“Thanks Cas,” you say, stabbing the cake on your fork once again.

“Sam, Dean, what are you doing here?” You hear Cas question, before the two brothers walked up to the table you were sitting at.

“Oh, it’s breakfast time!” Dean said, grabbing a pancake with his hand and not using a plate.

“Um, no, it’s not. It’s our time for breakfast, not yours,” you say, annoyed by Dean inviting himself to your food. Sam looked at you with an apologetic expression before you gestured for him to help himself too.

“Might as well help yourself Sam, since someone decided we were okay with him eating our food,” Cas said, reading your facial expression.

“You didn’t want me to eat with you?” Dean asked, mouth full of cake.

“No, we didn’t but since you already started eating, please, help yourselves,” you say, not losing the frustrating tone of your voice.

“Sorry, (y/n),” said Dean, before he swallowed his food. “I thought since we needed Cas for a case, we could all eat together.”

“Well I guess that would’ve been okay but you should’ve asked!” You said, still frustrated at the eldest Winchester.

“I know and I will, next time this happens. That is, if we interrupt another one of your meals,” Dean promised.

“Knowing you Dean, yeah, you’ll interrupt a meal again,” you say, half as a joke and half as a dig.

“So, what’s this case you said you needed my help with?” Cas asked, changing the subject and seeing you mouth a ‘thank you’ to him for saving the day from more embarrassment.

“Something about a series of people disappearing from a walking trail in broad daylight,” Dean explains, this time without anything in his mouth.

“Doesn’t sound like your kind of thing,” you say, not fully grasping the significance of the events.

“Yeah but so get this,” Sam said his usual catch phrase to transition into a deeper explanation. “When they find the bodies days later, there is no evidence of any blood left over in the body.

“No blood? You thinking vamps?” You suggest.

“Seems like it, but there also are no bite marks, at least not visible to the human eye,” Sam continues explaining his research he’s already conducted on this case.

“So, what then? The only real monsters that drink blood are vampires but if there are no bite marks on the vics, then how do they get the blood?” Your interest is peaked as you dive deeper into the investigating side of hunts.

“Well, this might sound rather, off, but I’m wondering if whoever is after these people, are extracting blood in a nontraditional way,” Sam says.

“How? Syringes? Like doctors?” You question.

“Maybe, but I think that would take too long, considering syringes run rather small,” Sam answers, making both of you fall silent, before Dean whines, saying he needs a beer.

“It’s nine o’clock in the morning!” You say, surprised his drinking is already happening at this hour of the day.

“Well I need to relax a bit here, kid, okay? Dean asks, bending down to look in the fridge, only finding there were not drinks with any amount of alcohol.

“You guys don’t have any beer?” He asks, lifting back up to his normal positioning, and eyeing you.

“No, we don’t. I don’t drink and Cas only really drinks when he’s with you two, so we agreed not to keep any in the house on a regular basis. However,” you trail off, walking over to a small coat closet by the front door, Dean watching your ever move curiously. “We figured you’d be visiting at some point, so we grabbed a small pack for you and Sam,” you grin when the green eyes of the man standing before you, falls to your hands.

“Aw, I knew there was a reason why we liked you, sweetheart,” Dean says, taking the case from your hands and throwing a can to Sam.

“Oh yeah, just because I keep you stocked with beer and uh,” you say, shuffling over to the pantry in the kitchen and pulling out a cherry pie, passing it over to the easily excited Winchester.

“Oh yes, that’s my girl,” Dean says, grinning wide at you.

“Technically, she is my girl Dean, but I will share her goodness with you,” Cas defends your relationship.

“Thanks bud,” he says, grabbing his fork from the pancakes from earlier and diving right in.

You laugh, shaking your head as you watched him happily pick at the dessert that sat before him.

“Oh man, (y/n) this is some good pie,” he says, speaking with his mouth full again.

“I’m glad you like it Dean, but please, don’t talk with your mouth full. It’s hard to understand you and we’re getting quite a nasty view of chewed-up pie,” you scold the hunter.

He waited until he cleared the food away in his mouth before speaking again. “Sorry kid.”

“Alright, I think we better get going if we want to get a handle on this and before anyone else gets killed,” Sam says, taking the attention of the vacuum cleaner that was his older brother.

“I’ll go grab my angel blade,” Cas says, leaving to go to your room.

“So, how’s married life treating you?” Sam said, knowing how much you used to talk about your wedding day, even before getting engaged.

“Well, it’s only been six months but I really love it. Getting to be around Cas all the time, seeing him every morning before starting my day, it means a lot. I’m really happy, Sam,” you say, smiling wide at the thought of life with Castiel.

“I’m happy for you, (y/n). If anyone deserved this lifestyle, it’s you and Cas,” he says, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Thank you, Sam.”

When the boys are all packed up and ready to leave on their hunt, you tidy up Castiel’s jacket, smoothing out any wrinkles left over, and straightening his tie. You refused to make eye contact with him, even as you felt his sapphire eyes bore down on you, you couldn’t bring yourself to look up into them.

“Okay, do you guys have everything you need?” You ask, stepping away from the angel.

“Yeah, I think we’re all good.” Dean says, looking around the living room of the apartment. “Cas? Have everything?”

He looks to you before asking, “come with us?” Your heart skipped a beat, knowing Cas wanted you with him, but you shook your head.

“I’m good. Someone needs to hold this place together while you’re gone,” you say, quickly casting your eyes back to the floor.

“Honeybee?” Cas said and you were surprised to hear how close he was to you, which caused you to look up at him. You stayed silent as tears softly began falling from your eyes; you always hated goodbyes.

“I promise to be home as soon as possible,” he says, bringing your lips to his in a loving kiss.

“Well good, because I’m not the only one who will be waiting for you to come home,” you say as the three men turn to you.

“What?” Dean spoke first.

“You still want those kids, right, Cas?” You ask, making sure he was still on the same page as you.

“Yes, of course. More than anything,” he reassures you.

“Well good, because I’m pregnant,”

The room remained quiet and no one dared to make a move, until Castiel’s mind registered your news and he was by your side, gently picking you up and kissing you once again.

“I’m going to be a Father?” He asks as he sets you back down and you nod your response.

“Guys, I’m going to be a Dad!” Castiel beams to his friends as they hugged and congratulated you two. What better way to motivate Cas to come home safely other than knowing a little one was on their way soon?

Tags: @tloveswriting @forever-trapped-in-my-dreams @markofdean79 @simpleboox @hobby27​ @thinkinghardhardlythinking​ @spnjediavenger​ @to-my-beloved-fandoms-2​

[floralseokjin]

The premature ejaculation 

⇢ memoirs of a mistake timeline

[saga index] [drabble index]

kim seokjin x reader // smut // 3,554 words 

“Yeah, see? He’s definitely not home,” Seokjin said, turning his head back at you hovering by the doorway. 

It wasn’t like you were paranoid or anything, but well, just in case. And no, it wasn’t like you didn’t want anyone knowing you were hooking up with Jin, but well, okay, you didn’t. 

There were numerous reasons why. You didn’t like people knowing your business for one. Especially when there was nothing to know. You and Seokjin were fucking. Big whoop. But maybe that was the problem entirely. No offence to him. He was actually pretty alright in small doses, it was just... It was just him. You could just imagine your best friend’s face if she ever found out... Nope. You couldn’t go there. This thing between you, this agreement, was good because it was a secret. 

But you couldn’t keep fucking in cars for much longer. It wasn’t practical. There was only so much you could do cramped up like that. And you didn’t want to invite him back home. Having sex under your parents’ roof just seemed wrong. Seokjin’s place was the only option. Just needed timing right. No roommate at home. Like this afternoon. 

“Okay,” you said slowly, finally stepping inside but still looking around sceptically, as if Sandeul’s absent car in the driveway wasn’t all the assurance you needed. It was while you were looking around did you notice this place was actually pretty nice. Tidy. Smelt nice. How odd. 

“You don’t have to do that,” Seokjin told you, noticing the way you were stepping out of your shoes. You didn’t listen. “I’ll be taking them off you as soon as we get to my room anyway.” 

The silence that followed wasn’t pretty. You glanced up at him, not quite believing his gall. If this was the game he used on every girl around campus, how did it possibly work? He cleared his throat, choosing to ignore the frosty reception. “Bedroom’s over there.” He jerked his head to the left. You followed behind him. It didn’t really feel like you were about to have sex. But then again, every time you met up it never really did until it was happening. 

“This is it.” He turned back to you as he pushed open the door.

You gasped in awe. Sarcastic of course. “Kim Seokjin’s bedroom. I am beyond blessed. What an honour.” 

He ignored you entirely. Seemingly a little distracted with what he wanted to say next. “This is where the bad girls go.” There was a split second of silence as you tried to make sense of his strange statement before he shook his head, fumbling over words. “I mean,” he corrected. “Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go to my room.” 

What the fuck. That was lame. Even for him. You suddenly had the biggest case of  secondhand embarrassment. “I’m leaving.” You didn’t know whether you were joking to ease the cringe or if you were seriously having second thoughts. 

“No, no,” he panicked, taking hold your wrist. “No.” He said it slower this time. Sounded put out. “Come on, it was just a joke.” 

“You tried.” Unfunny jokes didn’t work on you. Maybe on others, but not you. But you stepped into his room anyway. Such a bad girl. 

You didn’t waste any time. You were soon lying on his bed, him on top of you. The buttons of your blouse were halfway undone, bra cups pushed down so Seokjin could wrap his lips around your nipples. He hadn’t done this before. Hadn’t had a chance to cramped up in a car. You were most definitely getting wet already. He didn’t even have his hands down your pants. Amazing. 

After a few moments he tugged a little impatiently at the garment. “Can I take this fully off?” 

You nodded, huffing slightly. He didn’t need to ask. “I don’t intend on staying fully dressed. Do you know how uncomfortable it is having sex in your clothes all the time?” 

You asked him like he hadn’t been doing the same. He was apologetic all the same. “Yeah. Sorry about that.” 

He took initiative then. Snapping your bra off too. Fingers fiddling with the button of your pants. You helped him wriggle them down your hips, kicking them off when they got to your ankles. You felt urgent. This was the kind of thing your body did ever since you’d began fucking him. Your body in one big rush, rippling. One big need for that feeling. That pleasure. 

But even so, you slapped his hands away from your underwear. He looked at you a little scared, almost like an apology was about to fall from those big, dangerous lips of his. 

“You too.” 

Your urge was for him after all. He was still fully clothed. What did you have to do to see him naked?! He gave you an affirmative nod. As if he was just as desperate as you, his sweatshirt was over his head in the blink of an eye, and oh god. Oh god. Fuck Kim Seokjin and his beautiful face. Fuck him and his beautiful body. His hot, sexy, built body. 

You’d already groped the expanse of his shoulders and back many a time, but that was with layers of clothing on top. This was... This was something different entirely. Smooth, hard skin. Toned, defined. Collarbones that could slit a throat. Yours preferably. You needed to get your hands on him. 

By the time he’d wrestled his jeans off too and you’d caught a glimpse of the dick outline trapped in his underwear you had him on his back. Hands running over his body. In a flash you had his boxers off. Woman possessed. You were moaning. Like straight up, pretty loud, very blatant moaning. Without him even doing anything to you. He moaned back. Softer, in a daze because you don’t think he understood what was going on. He didn’t understand the power of his body. But boy, were your reactions turning him on.

He pushed the back of your underwear down over your ass, getting stuck. He was happy enough to grope you for a little while but eventually he got impatient, flipping you over. It was like you were wrestling. Who wanted one another more. 

“You’re so sexy.” He breathed, hovering over you once he’d finally peeled the lace from your body. Yes, lace. You wanted to fuck Kim Seokjin. Sue you.

You moaned in response. Even his cringey lines were working on you now. Or maybe it was the finger he’d slid inside you. He watched your reactions pretty intently, speeding up quickly when he realised that had the most active response. “Like that?”

He was speaking under his breath, voice a register lower. Got you moaning more. “Mhm. Can you— More.” 

He listened obediently, pushing in a second finger. “What if I–?” He curled them inside of you and your hips jerked up, a gasp escaping you. After that you chased every one, thrusting into his hand, feet digging into the bed. He watched with a slack jaw. “So hot.” 

“C’mon. Fuck me.” You just about whined. This was just plain teasing now. His dick was just there, doing nothing. Why wasn’t it inside of you?! 

But you had to say, the way he listened to you immediately all the time was pretty hot. He attempted to finger you still while reaching to open the drawer of his nightstand with the other hand. Somehow he managed it. Found the box of condoms he was searching for and pulled one out. Only then did he stop, sliding his two fingers from your warmth. As you sat up to join him you saw him rub his hand on the comforter. Ew. You hoped he’d change these sheets tomorrow. You didn’t say anything though, just watched as he ripped the packet open. 

Your excitement was at an all time high. In fact, somehow he was on his back again and you were straddling his thighs. “You gonna ride me?” He asked, slightly out of breath already. He slid the latex over his erection. You pulsed. Like everywhere. Moving closer. 

“Uh huh.” You were pretty breathless too. You didn’t know why you were so into being on top. It was lot harder work. But you think you were just used to it. It was pretty much the only position you could do in car. Missionary wasn’t so easy. You’d tried, but Jin kept hitting his head on the roof. The memory nearly made you laugh, but then you remembered: You were pushing down on him. He was inside you. 

He took a few comical deep breaths as you started moving. Bouncing up and down on him. But if you were being honest your attention was elsewhere. His body. The muscles in his stomach tightening each time you came down on him. His pecs. Those perfect, sharp collarbones that made you want to die. You couldn’t keep your hands off him, grabbing him like a piece of meat. He was a rather hot piece of meat. 

“Shit.” Seokjin exclaimed under his breath, chuckling awkwardly. “This feels good.” His hands clamped down on your hips. He was squeezing you a little too tight, but you didn’t want to tell him. Concentrating on his face now he looked totally out of it. Eyes half closed. Was he okay? 

He moaned. Or maybe it was the yelp of a cat who’d gotten their tail accidentally stood on. “Shit. Ah—!” 

He sat up quickly, still holding you, kind of clamping you down to him, and you moaned. This was hot. His reactions were really hot. He moaned again. This time it sounded a little deflated. You think you heard him whisper oh no, but then again, maybe you were just imagining it. You were bouncing on him pretty hard. Even if he had a vice like grip on you. 

He was saying your name then. Repeating it until he had to go a little louder. Damn. He was really into this. 

“I just–” He was really holding you down now. Almost like he was trying to stop you. Was he trying to stop you? You slowed down, a little bit confused now. Were you hurting him? When he spoke again it was basically a whisper. You managed to catch it though. “I already came.”  

“Oh.” You were still bobbing. It took a while for your body to catch up with your mind. But finally you stopped. “Oh.”

“I don’t know what happened.” He sounded panicked. Embarrassed definitely. But also wholeheartedly confused. You pressed a hand into his chest to lift yourself off him. Yep. Definitely limp now. You could feel it. You felt a little embarrassed yourself. Not realising and all. Thinking you were riding dick like a pro and making him go all sorts of crazy. Well, in a way you guess you had… 

You averted eye contact as he removed the condom. Heard it land in the trash. “I-Just. That’s never happened before.” 

You glanced at him, reaching for your shirt. Just because you were feeling a little exposed all of a sudden. He looked mortified. That, and he didn’t just flush on his face. It was his whole body that blushed in sheer embarrassment. How cute. Ew. Why were you thinking that? Kim Seokjin wasn’t cute. But you felt the urgent need to comfort him. It really was no big deal. 

“Jin, it’s fine,” you smiled, awkwardly patting his shoulder. “It happens sometimes. To guys.” 

“Yeah?” He looked a little relieved instantly. “Has it happened to any guys you’ve been with before?” 

You had one arm in the shirt as you thought. “Well, no. But,” you rushed, seeing his face fall. “It definitely happens. Google it.” He actually looked across at his phone on the nightstand. “No, don’t. Not now. You don’t need to. It’s happened to a bunch of my friends.” 

He thought about it. Letting your words sink in and shrugged slightly. “I think it’s because I didn’t jerk off this morning.” Oh, god. Where was this going? You didn’t want to know his masturbation habits. “Not that I do every morning.” He added. “Just… sometimes. In the shower.” 

“Okay,” you clapped your hands, climbing off him fully now. “Too much information.” But also, why did that visual kind of turn you on? You shook yourself out of it. “It’s genuinely fine. Don’t feel bad. I’ll take it as a compliment.” 

He nodded slowly, glancing at your chest. You still only had one arm through your shirt. “Yeah. Well. There was a lot of bouncing.” You admired his honesty. “Sorry.” 

You didn’t really know what to say now. Was this your cue to leave? You were here to fuck after all. And fuck you had, even if it was for only three minutes. You had the sudden urge to laugh, but held it in. He’d think you were laughing at him. You weren’t, but he’d think that. 

“I can go down on you for a while if you like?” You looked up, liking the sound of that. You didn’t want to leave. “I’m sure I can get it back up.” He added lamely. 

You smiled, taking your shirt back off. “Yeah, you can eat me out if you want.” 

You made sure to up your reactions. Not that it wasn’t good. With lips like that how couldn’t it be? But yeah, you were a little more vocal. Couldn’t bear to see his forlorn expression if he failed to get his dick hard again. He was a little hesitant at first, still a little shaken by the turn in events, but your moans soon helped build his confidence back. You came soon after he pushed those two fingers inside you, concentrating hard on coaxing your body to that sweet release. 

He was a little gloat-y afterwards. Making his way up your quivering body to whisper in your ear. “Did I make you see the otherside? Your eyes practically rolled back into your skull.” 

As if. You wanted to tell him to shut up but you couldn’t. Besides, you were a little distracted. 

Could feel his mouth pressing into your neck slightly. Then just under your ear. Which was a lot more intimate that having his dick inside you, believe it or not. You still hadn’t kissed yet. At this point you wondered if you ever would? 

“Yes!” You jumped at his exclamation, taken by surprise. “It’s back!” You looked down between your bodies, his hand was between his legs, tugging at his junk. 

Immediately you stretched out to the side of you, reaching for his drawer. It was still open and you felt for a condom. “We good?” You asked, holding the packet up. 

“Y-yeh. Let’s go.” The corners of his mouth were still wet. Lips a little swollen. And very, very pink. 

You went at it missionary this time. You got to wrap your arms around his shoulders, feel the muscles roll on his back as he thrusted inside of you. You were never going to get enough of this body. He moved slower. Not too slow, but each thrust was definitely calculated. Like he was scared he was going to cum too early again. Cute, you thought. 

Gripping onto his biceps as he shifted position a little, you then winced. “Ouch! You’re on my hair!” His damn hand was pressed into the stuff draped over his pillow. 

“Sorry.” 

“You always do that.” 

“That was the second time.” He didn’t stop moving as you bickered. Thrusting away and grunting a little. “Maybe you should tie it up.” 

You stayed silent, smirking a little. You kind of liked it when he snapped at you. Told you what to do.

“Can I...” He petered out, coughing to clear his throat, before looking down at you. Making direct eye contact. “Can I do you from behind?” 

Now this you had never done before. Wasn’t really practical in a car, although you think doable. Maybe an hour ago you would’ve thought Seokjin to be a boob guy. Y’know from all the attention he was giving your tatas, but by the dying sound he made at the sight of bare ass, you were now  very confident he was an ass man. There was a lot of groping. Spanking too, but light spanking. As if he didn’t want to completely lose it but couldn’t help a few gentle slaps here and there. You think that’s where he forgot to take it easy. 

“You good back there?” You called when you heard him moan a little loudly and pull out of you swiftly. He was breathing heavily. You wriggled your butt around because you were evil. 

He cleared his throat to hide his groan. “Y-yeah. Just… God. I really want to kiss your ass.” 

“Ew. Jin! Quit being such a weirdo.” 

“How is that weird?!” 

So, what? He wanted to kiss your ass but not your face? You tried really hard not to be offended. 

“I just sorta want to bury my face all up in there. Fuckk.” 

“Go away.” He was groping again. False alarm avoided for now. You could feel the head of his cock pushing at your entrance again. Good. His face could get lost. 

When he started thrusting, it was hard. This wasn’t going to last much longer, and he was okay with that. He gripped your hips and pounded. You could feel your ass jiggling with the force. The sound of skin hitting skin harsh in the air. He was knocking the wind out if you if you were being honest, but it felt so good. Your moans sure as hell sounding pornographic, and you prayed his neighbours couldn’t hear you. 

His weight was pushing you into the mattress, your cries eventually muffled as your face hit the pillow and you gave in, lying flat as he continued fucking you. Knelt into the bed, still gripping your hips, he grunted and huffed for breath. His mattress squeaked under the strain. You tried to concentrate on the rhythm but your head was a mess. Boy, were you going to be sore tomorrow. Not that you minded. 

One thrust. Groan. Two thrust. Groan. Three thrust. Groan. Last thrust. Groan. Seokjin’s body stiffened, his cock buried deep inside you as he came with a curse. “Fuckkkk.” His body weight fell into you, arms not working quick enough to stretch out and support his weight, and when they did they shook too much from exertion. 

You both lay there for a couple of minutes, not speaking just catching your breath. His sweaty body spread eagled on top of yours. It felt good. You couldn’t explain it. Just as good as when he’d been fucking his whole body weight into you moments prior. You liked being under him. 

Finally with shaky arms he lifted himself up. “S-sorry,” he apologised, rolling to the side. As if he’d only just realised he was squashing you. The way his voice trembled made you warm inside. You heard him shuffle about. Probably removing the condom. 

“It’s okay.” You were shaky too. Exhausted. You turned to face him, a grin on your face as you brushed your hair away from your eyes. “God. That was amazing.” 

“Right?” He agreed. He exhaled loudly, pushing his hair away too. “You hungry?” 

His skin was dotted with sweat. Made the definitions of his body that more devastating. You nodded. “A little.” 

“I can get you something? We have ramen. Could make you a sandwich? Something else?” You didn’t reply, too busy realising this was first time he hadn’t done something cringey after sex. Like brag or try to make a lame joke. In fact, here he was offering you food. “You don’t have to get home so soon. Sandeul won’t be back for a while.” 

And now he didn’t want you to leave? You smiled. “Noodles sound good.” You were tired and you didn’t think your legs would work yet. You’d stay. 

You watched him jump to it. Arguing with a pair of sweatpants draped over his desk chair before he left for the kitchen. You rolled onto your back, knowing you should get dressed a little but couldn’t be bothered. You took the time to glance around his room. It was pretty basic. Walls were white. Surprisingly he didn’t have any posters stuck to them. His desk was pretty bare too. There was a photo there though. You squinted trying to make it out. Looked like it was him with parents, maybe? Okay, that caught you off guard. How cute. Yuck. Cute and Seokjin shouldn’t be seen in the same sentence. Especially so many times in one day. 

You looked across at his dresser where an old TV was placed. Next to it lie a few DVDs of which you couldn’t make out the titles, and next to them a figurine of Super Mario. Really? Boy was a nerd in disguise. You stared into his beady eyes and pulled a face. That thing had been watching you fuck this whole time. He’d seen your ass. Pervert. 

“How much water do you like in this thing?!” Seokjin yelled from the kitchen, stealing your attention away. 

“Umm.” You thought out loud, yelling back. “Normal amount, thank you!” 

Written 2020.   Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2020 

[dirt-cup-draco]

Sirius x Reader - More To You

sirius black x slytherin!reader?? where she prides being a slytherin but doesnt support voldemort. something where sirius mightve judged her way too early because shes wearing a green tie. enemies to lovers? 😳 bonus points if she hates her parents too.. thanks luv 💝

You were sick of those stupid Gryffindors and their stupid pranks. All weak you had been the victim of hexes, dungbombs, and even a shitty play during a quidditch game. That bastard, Potter, was a seeker! Why had he felt the need to ram into you, sending you spiraling towards the ground? And for what? Nothing! You had never interacted with the four mischievous boys yet they wanted to make your life a living hell. Miserable gits.

It was today that you hit your limit. You were tired and admittedly paranoid. You packed up your bag after some light reading during lunch and slid off of the bench, saying goodbye to your fellow Slytherins. You had nearly gotten past the doors of the Great Hall when you heard a voice you wished you didn’t recognize. You turned your head however, but found you deeply regretted it when a goblet of Pumpkin Juice was tossed into your face. You sputtered and shuttered as it dripped from your hair, staining your robes and leaving you feeling sticky. 

A chorus of laughter erupted from the students of all houses but the loudest was the laughter of the marauders. Why did they find such enjoyment in making your life miserable? You wanted to scream, ask them why, make them feel miserable. Instead, your bottom lip began to quiver and tears began to leak past your closed eyelids. You used the sleeve of your robes to wipe the pumpkin juice from your eyes but it seemed the tears were only getting started. 

You were too embarrassed to say anything. Instead you sent a glare to Sirius Black as he stood in you, empty goblet dripping as McGonagall rose from her seat, speeding down the isle to deal her punishment to the boys she sometimes wished weren’t in her house. Without a word you sped out of the Great Hall, still dripping pumpkin juice all the way to the dungeons where you shed yourself of your soiled robes and uniform, letting the steady stream of water from the shower mix with your tears. 

You were tired of those boys and you were tired of feeling miserable because you weren’t in their house. Sirius Black seemed to be the worst of them, He was always heading the group when it came to pranking you. Bullying was more accurate, though. You didn’t go to dinner that day, you didn’t even finish out your classes. You were too embarrassed. You stayed in your dorm, head buried underneath your sheets as you sniffled to yourself. You could take a joke but this had become far more than a joke and you weren’t invincible. 

Sirius figured you would have at least gone to potions. He sat fidgeting in his seat, completely ignoring Slughorn as he went on and on about Lily Evans and how she had made the potion perfeclty, as always. He laughed knowing Lily hated the attention. James ate it up though, his girlfriend was the smartest there was, well next to Sirius of course. He was a bit of  genius. He had the idea to toss pumpkin juice in your face. 

It had seemed worth it, even if he lost fiftty house points. Anything to make a Slytherin upset. They were miserable kids, the whole lot of them and he didn’t feel bad. At least, that’s what he told himself. It turned out he wasn’t feeling very proud of himself by the time dinner rolled around. You hadn’t gone to anymore of your classes it seemed and you weren’t seated next to your friends. You got to know someone’s schedule when you were busy trying to prank them. 

But McGonagall had pointed out something to him. What he had done was just plain mean. She had lectured him in her office, fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. “You made the poor dear cry, what has she done to you? Correct me if I am wrong, but you two aren’t acquainted? I see no reason for your actions towards Y/L/N,” 

You were a slytherin. That was the reason. You were a stuck up pureblood who had everything handed to you on a silver spoon. You could do no wrong. Probably. He actually wasn’t sure. It was true that Sirius didn’t know you. He wasn’t proud of making you cry, however. He was expecting anger. 

A week passed by and he hadn’t seen you once. It was good, he told himself. He didn’t want to see your bratty face anyways. He was going to go spend time with the Potters during Christmas but he had a few late assignments he needed to catch up on before leaving school. James and Remus had promised to see him Christmas Eve. He was walking down the empty corridors and he caught a glimpse of you turning the corner. 

What were you doing here?

He followed, hot on your heels as you sped up after sneaking a glance behind you. “P-please leave me alone Black! I’m just trying to go to the library,” You pleaded as you kept up with your swift pace. 

“I’m not going to do anything, just cool it Y/L/N,” He said, his legs long enough to catch up to you even as you refused to slow down.

But he found himself three steps ahead of you when you paused abruptly. “Do you even know my name?” You seethed. 

“Uhhh,” 

“Of course not! You make my life hell, you embarrass me in front of everyone, you treat me like I am some monster and you don’t even know my name Sirius!” You finally snapped. “So please, for Merlin’s sake, leave me alone!” You pleaded as his jaw dropped. 

“Wait!” He hollered after you as you began walking again. His hand closed around your shoulder and you jumped at the contact, taking a long step back to put distance between yourselves. “Tell me your name then,” 

“What does it even matter?” 

“You’re right, I’ve made your life hell and I don’t even know you,” Sirius shrugged. “I didn’t mean to make you cry the other day, I’m sorry for that,” 

“No, you aren’t sorry, you are just upset you lost house points.” You scoffed, staring at the ground but not running away just yet. You were curious as to what he had to say even if your heart was pounding in alarm. You were positive you were about to be a part of another joke but there was no one around to witness it. Surely he wouldn’t be so cruel with no audience. 

“I did feel bad, not just because of the house points. Minnie really chewed me out for what I did to you,” 

“Minnie?” You asked in confusion.

“Um, McGonagall,” He chuckled with mild embarrassment. 

“Good...” You muttered, shuffling your feet. “Now if that’s all you wanted to say I am going to leave now. It’s great that you wanted to clear your conscience and all but I don’t really forgive you,” 

“One more thing,” He said, arm shooting out to grab your shoulder again but a glare from you had him dropping it quickly. “What are you doing here during christmas?” 

You let out a mirthless laugh. “Beats being home. Believe it or not, I’d rather you throw pumpkin juice in my face every day rather than go home to them,” 

Sirius could understand the feeling. He hadn’t stopped to consider that you would. “I see we both hate our parents,” 

You nodded, eyes finally meeting his. You had a sadness there that he found disturbed him more than anything. “You can only take so much of their shit before you stop wanting to come around. I may be a slytherin, Sirius, but I am a good person. I may be a Y/L/N, but I don’t agree with them and I never want to be a death eater. I may not be a gryffindor but that doesn’t mean I am worth less. You are a bully and I am tired of being judged and messed with,” You spoke honestly and Sirius felt sick to his stomach. “So please, just leave me alone,” 

It wasn’t often he felt guilt for what he did but right now he couldn’t have felt worse. He really didn’t know you. He hadn’t even tried. Because he was angry at his family and the world he had taken it out on you without a second thought. “I’m sorry,” He said lamely as you headed off to the library. He was positive you heard him but you just sighed and shook your head. He knew that wouldn’t be enough. 

Sirius realized he should stop burning bridges before he had the chance to cross them. There was much more to you than he realized and now he was sure you would never forgive him. 

[scarlet-star-witch]

Fade Into You (Mandalorian/OC) - Part 7

Summary: Din has spent a year grieving the love of his life. While he thinks he has lost her forever, she lingers in the darkness, her mind twisted and manipulated, with no memory of him or the love they shared. What will it take for Din to help her remember?

Warnings: A whole bunch of shy and awkward Mando and El

First Part  Previous Part  Next Part

Din kept looking over his shoulder as he piloted the ship. It was getting difficult to look after the adventurous child that insisted on pressing every button on the panel in front of him while simultaneously trying to check up on Iella and make sure she was still ok.

He worried that she’d creep up behind him and knock him upside the head. She’d certainly done that more than once over the past few days, enough for him to be paranoid now. 

He hoped Sorgan would be good for her, he hoped it would be possible for her to gain her memories back, even just a few of them would make a difference. He longed for a day when she would look at him and he would see that look of familiarity and love in her eyes that he had been used to seeing from her before the crash.

He landed the Razor Crest on the grassy fields of Sorgan and sighed heavily, a lot was riding on this trip. 

He stood from his pilot’s chair and stared down at the child who was staring right back up at him with those enormous eyes he had. 

“You stay here. You got that? Don’t touch anything, I’ll find us some lodging and come back for you.” Din told the child sternly, though he doubted how much of it he really understood. Din rolled his eyes under the helmet, feeling ridiculous for talking to a child that clearly didn’t understand him and he left the cockpit, making his way back to where he left Iella.

His steps slowed as he walked into the room and he saw her sitting at the table, her eyes filled with emotions he couldn’t decipher as she stared off into space. 

It wasn’t unusual that she would do that. He’d tell her time and time again to get her head out of the clouds, but she always seemed so carefree, so relaxed when she would. The expression on her face now told him she wasn’t relaxed. She was stressed and worried and he didn’t know how to help.

It killed him to feel so helpless around her.

“Hey,” He called out softly, trying his best not to startled her, though he failed as he saw her jump in her spot, her hand immediately moving to the knife at her hip, but he was glad to see her relax slightly when her eyes found him.

That was progress to him. She wasn’t trying to attack him anymore, which he was thankful for.

“Ready to head out?” 

Iella furrowed her brows and stared at him with confusion.

“You want me to come with you? Are you sure that’s safe?”

“I’ll be right beside you. I promise nothing is gonna happen.” Din assured her but she still looked hesitant. “I thought you’d liked to get some fresh air, see the sun again.” 

He knew how much she used to love exploring unfamiliar planets, taking in the sunlight. After being held in slavery for a few years, she cherished her freedom and wanted to soak it in as much as possible.

He wondered if she remembered that about herself.

Iella nodded slowly, the desire to finally get off the ship too enticing to not go. 

“What about the child?”

“He’s staying here.” Din answered and as he moved towards the hatch to lower the ramp, Iella noticed the little green child waddling behind him, making his way towards the doors.

She smiled lightly in amusement, knowing the child hadn’t listened to Din. 

“Are you sure about that?” 

Din looked back at her and she pointed over to his side. He looked down and his shoulders slumped when he saw the child looking up at him, his ears twitching upwards, almost to say he’d won this round.

He sighed heavily and shook his head.

“What the hell, let’s go.” He mumbled and the child was quick to start waddling his way down the ramp. 

Iella smiled at him and followed behind him slowly. “Careful, little guy, don’t want you to trip.” She cooed to him softly and Din could’ve sworn his heart skipped more than one beat.

Before the crash they’d had a conversation about having children. He knew Iella wanted them and he’d been on his way to wanting it to. His desire to start a family with her had grown exponentially after he’d lost her as he thought of what he would never have.

If he was ever going to have a child it would be with Iella and as soon as he thought she’d been gone forever, he knew he would never get the chance to be a father. He didn’t want it with anyone else.

Now he had her back and he still had that lingering desire to have a family with her. Watching her with the child just increased that desire to heights he didn’t even know existed.

Together, the three of them walked through the woods to get to the center of town. Iella walked significantly slower than usual, keeping her eye on the child who was struggling to make his way over upturned roots in the ground.

“Hey, slow down. He can’t keep up.” She called out to Din who was leading them.

He turned on his heel and that painful longing in his chest tightened even more, leaving him breathless. He was seeing the Iella he knew and he hated that she had no idea she was truly being herself. 

She was always so considerate. She had the biggest heart and she was one of the kindest people he’d ever encountered in his life. He so desperately wanted her to remember. He so badly wanted to be the one she loved again. 

He slowed his pace and the small, shy smile Iella gave him as they caught up to him left him breathless.

Once the huts came into view, Iella stiffened and the smile on her face was nowhere to be seen. Her heart started to beat faster at the idea of being around others, people she didn’t know. Din noticed her change in attitude and his hand instinctively reached out to comfort her, but he stopped himself before he could touch her.

He didn’t want to scare her off and he let his hand fall back at his side.

“It’s ok. It’s a small planet, low foot traffic. You’ll be fine.” He assured her.

Iella looked over at him, desperately wishing he wasn’t wearing his helmet so she could see his brown eyes, see the emotions that swirled within them that made her feel so unusually calm and giddy at the same time.

She nodded slightly, taking his word for it, and together, they walked into the small hut. 

Iella’s wide eyes looked at the people around her, watching as they laughed with each other, sat with each other, like regular people did. She never got to have this, not that she remembered. On jobs she had to be vigilant, her mind focused solely on work, on her kills.

She felt jealous of those people she saw. She wished she could have the life they had.

They arrived at a free table and she looked shocked as Din pulled a chair out for her to sit. The gesture was small, but it made butterflies flutter within her. She sat at the chair and smiled at the child as Din lifted him to his seat beside her.

“Welcome travelers, what can I get you?” A woman said as she approached the table. Iella eyed her cautiously, her eyes reflexively scanning over the woman, checking for hidden weapons.

“Bone broth for the little one.” Din answered and turned to her. “You want anything?” 

She just shook her head wordlessly, feeling uncomfortable in the woman’s presence, no matter how harmless she seemed to be. Iella let her eyes travel around the room once again, scanning for any sign of unrest, any sign of violence or someone coming after her.

The woman soon left, leaving an awkward silence as Iella shifted in her seat, feeling nervous being around so many people.

“Hey,” Din called out, catching her attention. “It’s alright. No one’s gonna hurt you. There’s not a lot of business on this planet, there’s no one here that knows you.” He assured her and she nodded slowly, bowing her head in embarrassment for her paranoia.

Din felt his heart ache as the lie slipped out. He didn’t know these people, he couldn’t guarantee that they weren’t their enemies, that they wouldn’t try to hurt them, but he needed to keep Iella calm. 

His eyes moved over to the table he’d seen the woman at when he’d walked in and he bristled when he saw it was now empty.

“Stay here with the kid.” He told Iella as he stood from the table and began to make his way out of the hut. If that woman was after him and the child, or even after Iella, he was going to deal with her out of sight. He didn’t wan’t to spook his wife, not now when she was already so fragile.

Iella sputtered, trying to find the words to beg him to stay without feeling like a complete embarrassment, but Din was already out the door before she could form any.

She sighed heavily, feeling like every gaze in the room was on her and she shrunk in her seat. A soft whimper sounded and she looked over at the child who was looking at her with wide eyes and she could’ve sworn he looked concerned for her.

Iella squeezed her eyes shut, feeling panic creep through her veins. She knew it wasn’t a good idea to be out in public. She knew it was a risk, that people would recognize her, would see her as the deadly assassin she was brainwashed to be.

She ran her hands over her face and exhaled roughly. 

Get it together, she told herself. Wanting to compose herself before Din got back so he wouldn’t see her in this state, though she knew he already had over the last few days.

She slowly opened her eyes, trying her best to avoid the looks from the other patrons. She turned back towards the child, wanting to look at his cute face to try and ground her, but her heart dropped to her stomach when she saw that his chair was empty.

“Shit.” She hissed under her breath and stood from her chair so abruptly, it clattered to the floor, drawing the attention of everyone in the hut.

She blushed fiercely and stormed out of the bar, her heart racing. She just wanted Din.

Once she got outside, she followed the obvious footsteps he’d left in the sand. She stopped in her tracks and sighed in relief when she saw the child unharmed. She looked over at what he was looking at and her face hardened, pure anger seeping through her at the sight of an unfamiliar woman on the ground with Din, her blaster pointed at his face.

It didn’t matter that Din also had his blaster pointed at her, all she saw was the threat against him and it drove her into action. She rushed forward and kicked the blaster out of the woman’s hands, causing her to cry out in surprise.

Iella kicked her side, making her turn on back. She quickly straddled her and wrapped her hands around the woman’s throat.

“El, stop! El!” Din yelled and quickly brushed off his shock, stumbling to his feet and rushing forward. He wrapped his arms around Iella’s waist and pulled her off of the woman. “It’s ok, I’m fine. It was just a misunderstanding.” He told her, still holding onto her tightly.

He could feel her practically vibrating with anger. Her chest was heaving and her wide eyes were locked onto the woman on the ground who was looking up at her with shock.

“It’s ok.” He whispered to her. She nodded and her tense body slowly relaxed, causing Din to let go of her. “You good?”

She nodded again, her eyes casting down to the ground in shame. She brushed the hair out of her face and breathed deeply, trying her best to calm herself down.

“I’m sorry.” She breathed out, her eyes hesitantly moving to meet the woman who was looking back at her in surprise. The woman scoffed in amusement and got to her feet. 

“It’s fine.” She responded, his eyes roaming over Iella curiously before letting out a laugh and shaking her head slightly, like she thought the whole thing was funny.

“C’mon.” Din said, urging her forward to follow the woman back into the hut.

They made it back to the table and Iella felt dizzy from the whirlwind anger she’d felt that had dissipated the second Din’s arms were around her. She didn’t understand it and it left her more than confused.

“I’m Cara.” The woman said, her confidence oozing out of her easily. 

Iella hesitated. She didn’t have a name, she didn’t think, until yesterday. Did she use it? Was it hers now?

“I-Iella.” She offered quietly, a strange sense of pride overcoming her as she used her name for the first time.

Din looked over at her, his eyes wide as she spoke her name. He hadn’t expected that and it delighted him to hear it. He smiled widely under his helmet, allowing himself a second of relief before he steeled his expression again and cleared his throat, forcing himself to focus on the new woman in front of him.

“You’re from the rebellion.” He said, noticing her tattoos.

“Saw most of my action mopping up after Endor. Mostly ex-Imperial warlords.” 

Iella stiffened at her words. She tried her best to hide her fear, to not let her face crumble, but she knew Din noticed by how he shifted in his seat beside her. 

Voros was an ex-imperial warlord. Cara might know him, might know her, at least the version of her Voros had created. Her throat went dry at the thought of this woman turning her in, bringing her back to Voros kicking and screaming.

The thought left a chill down her spine. She droned out the rest of Cara’s words as she pictured herself back at the compound, strapped to that machine. 

“Look, I knew you were Guild. I figured you had a fob on me, that’s why I came at you so hard.” She explained, bringing Iella’s attention back to her.

“That’s what I figured.” Din said cooly, not wanting to admit that he’d come after her so she wouldn’t be a threat to his wife.

Cara didn’t need to know that. 

“Well, this was fun. But unless you wanna go another round, one of us is gonna have to move on, and I was here first.” She said with a sarcastic smile, standing from her chair. She turned to Iella, her smile growing. “I definitely wouldn’t oppose if you wanted more than another round.” She winked at her, leaving Iella to gape at her with wide eyes as she sauntered off.

“Was she… hmm.” She hummed, a small smile forming at the realization that Cara had been flirting with her. 

Din tensed, his gaze followed Cara away from their table. He was used to people flirting with his wife, it drove him mad, but he knew he had nothing to worry about. Iella had assured him of that time and time again.

But now that she wasn’t exactly herself, now that she didn’t remember him or how much they cared for each other, he couldn’t deny the strike of fear he felt that she would feel desire towards the shocktrooper over him.

“Guess this planet’s taken. We should go.” He said quickly, his jealousy riddled mind wanting her off this planet and away from Cara quickly.

Iella was confused more than anything, but she couldn’t deny the small sliver of amusement she felt at Din’s haste. She knew exactly how he felt about Cara’s proposition for her and didn’t know if it made her a bad person to find it funny.

~~~

Iella didn’t know how she ended up in this position. Being propositioned by two farmers which led to her, her husband she didn’t remember, a green child with powers, and a flirtatious shocktrooper who could be her worst nightmare, on their way to some village to help them with raiders. 

Her life wasn’t going how she expected.

Iella had barely slept the entire ride. Her eyes were glued to the shocktrooper across from her that was fast asleep. She knew the woman was a fighter, that she valiantly hated the Empire. If she knew of Iella’s ties to Voros, she could send her back to her hell.

Beside her, Din stirred, letting out a small groan as he stretched his sore muscles. 

“Hey,” He called out to her quietly and he immediately noticed the ashen expression on her face and the dark circles under her eyes. He sighed heavily. “Did you sleep at all?”

“A little.” 

Din eyed her carefully, his gaze following hers to Cara who was still thankfully fast asleep.

“She’s not after you.”

“No, just the ex-Imperial warlords. The man I worked for.” She said bitterly.

“Against your will. You’re not one of them. You’re not the bad guy here.” Din explained to her, desperately hoping she could understand.

“I was the bad guy. For a year, I killed people.” Iella told him, her voice sounding weak and regretful.

“El, you had no control over that.”

“When the numbers are that high, do you really think people are gonna care whether or not I was in my right mind?” She countered and Din swallowed thickly at the thought of the number of people who had died at her hand.

He had tried not to think of it before, but now he couldn’t ignore it. She had a long list of kills, mostly innocent people he was guessing. He knew what the Empire did, who they targeted. It made him feel sick to think of her doing that, especially because he knew she would hate herself for it.

He longed to reach out to her, to pull her into his arms, hug her tightly and never let go. He couldn’t deny himself any longer and he slowly, hesitantly reached over, placing his hand atop hers.

Iella’s eyes locked onto his hand, her breathing stuttering at the warmth his touch provided. She swallowed the lump in her throat and her wide eyed gaze lifted to meet his, well, his helmet. 

She couldn’t help but feel amazed by the way his touch made her feel. It was so foreign to her, almost unbelievable that he had the ability to make her, a cold blooded assassin with no memories, melt into herself and turn her into mush.

Din stayed quiet, he didn’t know what to say to her, he doubted he could ever make it better. He couldn’t erase what happened, the sins she’d committed.

Iella sighed heavily as she saw the village in sight. The last thing she wanted was to deal with even more people. 

“Why are we here?”

“They have lodging. We can blend in here, lay low for a few months.” Din explained and she looked over at him with a raised brow.

“You really think you can blend in with that get up?” She teased and Din felt a wave of emotion hit him as she sounded just like she did a year ago.

Every mission they’d taken when they had to use stealth, the ones that were always a little more dangerous, he insisted on going, purely to avoid letting her potentially be in danger and she’d always tease him for his inability to be stealthy and avoid attention due to his obvious armour.

Their conversation was cut short as the cart stopped in front of the crowded village, waking Cara from her sleep. She looked around in confusion for a second before she noticed the Mandalorian and the strange violet haired woman from yesterday and she relaxed. 

Immediately, children ran towards the cart, their attention stolen by the adorable green baby that happily greeted them all. 

Din made his way off the cart, his hand falling from hers, a feeling Iella missed the second he left. He turned, holding his hand out to help her off the cart, which she took hesitantly, a small, bashful smile on her face as she did.

She was soon surrounded by curious children as she stepped off the cart.

She felt awkward with the questions that were thrown at her at the same time that they were all indecipherable. She looked over at Din, hoping he could help, but he had his own swarm of children around him, all of them admiring his armour, asking him questions about the missions he’d been on and if they could use his blaster.

Iella laughed slightly. She felt a tug on her hair and looked down, her eyes meeting a young girl who was looking at her long hair with wide eyes, her hands gently holding the violet strands.

“Your hair is pretty.” The young girl said shyly and Iella smiled.

“Thank you. I like your braid.” She responded, feeling out of her element. The girl smiled widely at the compliment.

“My mommy did it. She could put a braid in your hair too.” She eagerly told her and Iella’s smile widened.

“I would love that.” 

“El, c’mon.” Din called out, motioning for her to follow him. She nodded and turned back to the child, giving her one last smile before parting and walking towards Din. He smiled under his helmet, his heart racing wildly at the sight of Iella and the young girl.

Iella smiled shyly, feeling Din’s gaze on her as they walked towards where the farmers who found them guided them to. 

Her breath suddenly constricted in her throat as she followed Din into the hut. Her heart started to race inside her chest as she looked at the one bed across the room. She tensed even further as she noticed the unfamiliar woman in the room who smiled shyly at them.

Din stood slightly in front of her, blocking her view, knowing she would be on edge by her presence.

“Hello, please come in.” She said brightly to them. “I hope this is comfortable for you two.”

“This will do fine.” Din answered and Iella felt as though her throat was constricting in on itself. She wrung her hands nervously at the thought of sharing a bed with him, this man she didn’t know but supposedly loved.

“I stacked some blankets over here. If you need anything just let me know.” 

“Thank you, that’s very kind.” 

Iella cleared her throat, trying her best to move past her nerves that felt debilitating, to the point where she found it hard to breathe.

“Can I - is there… is there somewhere - another hut for me to stay?” She stammered nervously.

She noticed Din’s head snap over towards her but she kept her gaze forward, avoiding his stare that was piercing even from under his helmet. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings, she saw how hesitant he was around her, how he would sigh heavily, like he was so relieved everytime she looked up at him or allowed him to touch her briefly.

But this was all too much too fast for her. She wasn’t ready for this yet.

“Oh, of course.” The woman said. “I’m sorry, I just assumed that you two were together.”

“We … we are. It’s, uhmm, it’s just… complicated.” Iella answered, squeezing her hands into fists when she began to feel them trembling.

Din couldn’t deny that he felt like his heart had broken into two when he heard her ask for a separate space, but he understood. No matter how much it hurt him to know that she wasn’t totally comfortable around him yet, he had to respect what she wanted at such a hard time in her life.

But hearing her say they were together gave him hope. It had his chest tightening and he had to force himself to calm his breathing before he completely broke down.

“There’s a spare hut just across here. I’ll make sure to bring you some sheets.”

“Thank you.” Iella said quietly, giving the woman a weak smile as she left. 

She breathed deeply and slowly turned to face Din, gazing up at him hesitantly. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“You don’t have to apologize. I get it.” He interrupted her. 

Iella bit her lip, she could tell by the sound of his voice how much she had hurt him and how hard he tried to not show it. 

“I just thought it would be good for me to have some time for myself, figure things out. Maybe I’ll remember a few things. I dunno, I just thought-”

“Hey, really, you don’t have to explain yourself. I get it, this is a lot for you. You do what you need to do.” Din interrupted her again and she looked back at him, still slightly disbelieving before nodding slowly.

“Thank you.” She whispered, feeling her emotions beginning to bubble to the surface. She began to walk out of the hut when she heard a shrill whine. Turning on her heel, she saw the child looking up at her sadly, tilting his head in question.

“Sorry, little one, I gotta go. You’ll be safe here.” She told him softly, kneeling down to give his head a gentle stroke with her finger, earning her a soft coo in response that made her stomach twist.

She smiled sadly and stood, moving to leave again.

“Iella,” Din called out, stopping her and making her heart race at the sound of her name.

She wondered when that would stop happening, when it would finally feel right to hear that name being used. 

“If you need anything, you find me, ok? I don’t care what time it is, I don’t care what’s going on. You come to me if you need to.” 

Iella couldn’t help the smile from slowly growing on her face and she nodded. It still amazed her what he could make her feel with just his words.

“I will.” 

~~~

Tags:  @cosmo-bear​ @lavenderl3mons​ @starfirette​ @the-feckless-wonder​ @kaelyn-lobrutto24​ @lil-baby27​ @promiscuoussatan @assassinsasha23​ @killtherandomness​ @dartheldur 

[mysymestash]

RFA + Saeran accidentally injuring MC

I FORGOT JIHYUN LIKE A BIG DUMB MAYBE I’LL UPDATE LATER WITH HIS

Yoosung

LOLOL had launched a special campaign, only available for a limited time

Seeing as how the reward for completing it was rumoured to be a brand new skin for one of Yoosung’s favourite characters,

of course he was going to spend three sleepless nights in front of the computer to be the first one to get it

Normally, you wouldn’t let him stay up for so long playing- but finals were over and you figured he deserved to blow off some steam

You were relaxing on the couch one day when you heard a loud commotion from Yoosung

You went over to his desk to check on him-

“Yes! Yes! I got it- oh my god, I got it! MC come over here and check it out-!”

Before you could even respond to tell him you were already right beside him

He threw his hands up in the air while he was celebrating, one connecting directly with your nose

When his shocked face whipped around to see you cradling your now bloody nose he almost screamed

Apologizing incessantly- and god forbid you shed some tears at the pain because he will reciprocate the tears tenfold

He tries to get you some tissues but he’s panicking so much that he just- grabs a fistful and shoves it in your face

Just wants to stop the bleeding as soon as possible

Will want you to hit him back as revenge

If you take him up on the offer, he will cry again

Jumin

You two were relaxing at the end of the day, just enjoying a glass of wine together

But Elizabeth was feeling especially needy that day

She was cuddling up to you, walking across your laps, etc..

She refused to sit still, wanting you to play with her

Jumin’s just watching you suffer with amusement, you trying to drink from your glass but can’t since Elizabeth keeps pawing at it

Thinks your frustrated face is adorable

In fact, so adorable he wants to keep a permanent record of it

So he pulls out his phone to capture the moment- fully intending on sending it straight to the messenger

But my man forgot his flash was on

Mind you, this is in the late evening and you two are outside on the patio- so this flash is bright

Scares the everloving shit out of Elizabeth too and she jumps ten feet into the air out of your lap, knocking your glass out of your hand

On reflex, you reach out to catch the glass but it shatters on the ground before you can fully reach it

You can’t quite see what’s happened but damn can your hand feel it

Feeling the sharp pain, you quickly pull back your hand and put it to the light- bitch is bleeding

You’re a little in shock but he’s already called five paramedics, 12 different ambulances, a neurosurgeon- Jumin stop why would I need a neurosurgeon for my hand

Even after he confirms with all the doctors that you’re fine, he will be paranoid for a long time

Invests in shatter-proof everything

Jaehee

It was a busy busy busy day in the cafe

Both of you were rushing around trying to take all the orders and seat everyone in time

Neither of you were expecting today of all days to be so busy- and some of the other workers had called in so you were already running short on people

You were at the front, taking orders and providing extra chairs for everyone filtering in

Jaehee called you from the back for help getting all the extra batches she had just made out to the front

Ngl she was really rushing you along- urging you to hurry up before you missed anyone new coming in

You were feeling so rushed, in fact, that you weren’t really paying attention to what Jaehee was handing you- more focused on just getting it out as fast as possible

Without warning, she finished handing you the muffins that had been cooling for the past few minutes and had swapped to the cookies fresh out the oven

You were not wearing your oven mitts

As soon as the pan made contact with your skin you screamed, dropping it on the floor

She was on you right away,, pulling your red hands under the cool tap water

Doesn’t stop apologizing;

Her actions are swift and confident- bandaging your hands with incredible proficiency

But her words are something else completely lol— she’s stammering out “I’m sorry”s and asking if you’re okay like fifty times in a row

Insists you stay in the front and that she does the kitchen work on her own- even if you refuse

At the end of the day she’ll still be apologizing and offers to bring you to the hospital to make sure hands are okay

You have to calm her down by kissing her

But yes please take me to the hospital I still hurt

Saeyoung

You and Saeyoung were playing hide and go seek tag like a bunch of CHILDREN

Jk it’s adorable

Saeyoung was it this round which is honestly an unfair advantage in all regards

You, like the hide and go seek pro you are, we’re strategically moving your hiding spot every few seconds- never staying in one spot for too long

You’re a lot harder to track down than he first anticipated

Resorts to using his cameras to find you

“It’s not cheating, MC- it’s using your tools to your advantage.”

Finds you creeping down the halls and hatches a plan to take you by surprise

The hall you’re in happens to connect back to the kitchen

When you finally make it into the kitchen, he takes the chance to pop out right behind you screaming like a banshee

Your heart drops

You scream and try to run away but socks on slippery tiled floor don’t offer too much traction

You make it half a step before you are launched backwards and crash onto the ground head first

His screaming turns into half screaming half laughing as he rushes to your side on the floor

Recites some dramatic made up poetry about his fallen love- ala Romeo and Juliet

You’re fighting back tears while you’re holding your head

“Saeyoung stop making me laugh it’s making my head hurt even more”

When he hears you saying your head hurt he calms down

Legitimately worried now that your injury might be serious

Rushes you to a doctor right away who concludes that you probably just have a mild concussion

Permanent bed rest and cuddles until he decides you’re better

Expect him to don the maid costume while he’s taking care of you and “forget” to close the door letting Saeran walk in and see everything

poor Saeran

Zen

He had just gotten casted for what was essentially his dream role

This boy was Romeo fucking Montague

So psyched he wanted you to help him practice lines- obviously for the balcony scene as you read for Juliet

But he was

really into this role

He had you climb up on top of this ladder as he supported you from the bottom to act as the ‘balcony’

You just went along with it despite how ridiculous you felt because you didn’t want to be the one to rain on his parade;;

Besides you thought it was cute seeing how invested he was getting into the character as you peered over him from your position on the ladder

Well- it was cute until his focus gradually shifted from keeping you stable on the ladder to reciting his monologue

“Uhh, Zen? Are you sure this is stable enough?..”

You doubt he even heard you over his reading, not taking his eyes off of the script

Before you could try and catch his attention again you unceremoniously toppled down as the ladder suddenly fell away from under you

He heard the crashing and reached out, script being thrown away and forgotten, to catch you before you landed

Technically he succeeded but it didn’t stop your leg being caught in the mess of the ladder falling

Leading to your very sprained ankle

Doesn’t even stop to ask if you’re okay,, all but throws the ladder away and carries you all the way to the hospital

After you guys get back, you’re pouting and he’s basically begging for your forgiveness

Will ask you to push him from a real balcony so he can understand and experience your pain

Obviously not Zen wtf

Will “kiss your ankle better” and curse the gods that his beast-like healing abilities was not given to you also

Saeran

You’ve probably been hanging out with Saeyoung a little too much tbh

He gives you the idea to prank Saeran

For SOME reason you think it’s a good idea

He was sleeping in this morning and you think it would be hilarious if you hid behind the door before he woke up and scare him as he came out

You’ve definitely been spending too much time with Saeyoung

When he wakes up and doesn’t feel you in the bed with him he lowkey freaks out

He thinks you’ve probably just left to go to the bathroom or something so he calls your name

Obviously you don’t respond

Cue actual panic for marshmallow boy

Starts thinking of all the worst case scenarios that could have happened to you

He basically leaps out of the bed, calling for Saeyoung

You hear him coming to the door and get ready to scare him

But before you can even jump out of your hiding spot behind the door- it swings open full force getting you right in the nose

“Owwww...Saeran...”

He hears your whining and pulls back the door to see you holding your bloody nose

“What the hell are you doing back there? Why didn’t you respond when I called you?”

“I was trying to prank you...”

A moment of silence for Saeran’s patience

“Bye.”

Steps back into your room and closes the door

Honestly really relieved you were okay, just embarrassed about how worried he was

Will come back out when he hears you in the bathroom taking care of your nose

“You’re not allowed to talk to my idiot brother again.”

“But Saerannnn”

Surprisingly very gentle when patching you up

[gothpanda]

A Little Bit of Attitude Ch.23: I’m So Stupid

WORD COUNT: 5.9K

A/N: Jesus I had a rough week  Enjoy this chapter!!

WARNINGS: Language, Drug use, aggressive nature 

TAGS: @madamsixx​

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July 23, 1985

Sammi stared down at her hands, tap anxiously on the green table of the booth she sat in. The diner was running slow for a Wednesday, only a handful of people spread out in the restaurant. Sammi kept looking at her watch then to the door, reconsidering even being here. A waitress would come from time to time to see if Sammi needed anything, only getting turned down. Maybe Sammi shouldn't have come so early. The glass doorbell ring made Sammi's ear perk up like a fox, looking straight ahead of her. Except instead of Vince, it was an older man with a small happy child who had a smile on their face. Sammi scuffed to herself, beginning to bite the nail on her thumb. It wasn't until she heard the bell ring again that Sammi saw Vince's face, standing there without knowing what to do. He scratched the back of his head, slowly walking up to the booth. Sammi swallowed away her nerves, hugging her body for comfort. Sliding into the booth, Vince took off his jean jacket and gave a small smile to his ex-girlfriend.

"Hi," said Vince, holding his hands together.

"Hey, Vince, how have you been?" asked Sammi, taking a sip of water.

"Not much different from the last time you saw me. Sharise is busting my ball for no reason," complained Vince. Sammi stayed quiet from the sound of her name, looking at her nails. "So, you wanted to talk finally?"

"Yeah, I think I've had enough time being a bitch to you," said Sammi, reaching inside her purse. She pulled out a folded sheet of a notebook paper, bullet point thoughts all scribbled down to a mess. Vince scowled at Sammi, raising a questionable eyebrow at the girl.

"You have a list of shit?" asked Vince, wrinkling his nose.

"Yes, because I rather read off a list then run off emotions," Sammi said, scanning over what she wrote down. "As I said, I've had enough time being a bitch to you,"

"I wouldn't say a bitch. It's not like I didn't deserve any of it. Except maybe that bottle to my head," joked Vince. Sammi took a deep breath, laying the paper flat on the table for even Vince to see some thoughts. Sammi bit her lip, feeling her heart beating so fast in her chest, and she couldn't help calm it down. After a bit of silence, Sammi looked Vince right in the eyes that she loved so dearly.

"First off, when did you two meet exactly?" asked Sammi, swallowing the knot in her throat. Vince rubbed the sweat off his jeans, coughing to clear his throat.

"It was back in May when Tropicana was brand new. It was one of the nights you wanted to stay at your parents' place, I met up with some guys to drink with and ended up there," answered Vince, grabbing a sugar packet to keep his hands busy.

Sammi nodded, "And when you met her, did you two immediately hook up?"

"No! No. She just gave me a lap dance and kept flirting with me all night, but we didn't kiss or anything," replied Vince, biting his lip.

"So when did you two exactly have sex? Because I doubt you got her pregnant off a one time moment in August," Sammi bit the inside of her cheek, looking out the window to compose herself from any tears.

"July, I guess. I don't remember the exact fucking date. I just know that it was one of the nights you weren't feeling like going out," explained Vince, dropping his head into his hands' palm. Sammi shook her head, dabbing the corner of her eye to catch any tears from falling.

"So it went on for months? You had sex with her multiple times?" asked Sammi with a stern voice. Vince nodded sheepishly. "And you still fucking went back even after you got her pregnant. Then you got mad at me for having a good time when you ditched me for her back at Purple Moon! Oh my god," gasped Sammi, covering her face in her hand then pushing away hair that fell out of place.

"I didn't ditch you for her! I didn't know. She didn't even know! We only had sex max five times when I got crossfaded; it meant nothing,"

"Clearly, if you acted as if you didn't do anything. I thought for almost a full year; you were such a great boyfriend. You made me feel so happy, and yet you were sitting on this lie. You were lying every day," uttered Sammi, looking straight into Vince's eyes with tears building up. "Why? Why weren't you happy with just me?"

Vince slumped in his seat, finally feeling the heartbreak he caused to Sammi. He could finally see the sadness that came from his mistakes. Vince only received anger from Sammi after everything. He received Sammi's attitude tenfold, the rudeness, and the foul language. Vince never saw Sammi cry from the pain he caused, not even the first time he fucked up. "I was happy with you," whispered Vince, feeling his cheek flush with embarrassment. "I just don't know when to say no, especially now being a big shot rockstar. Now, look at me. I'm a dad who killed his friend, and everyone hates me,"

"I should have never gotten mad at you that night outside of Rainbow. I guess… I would get mad at you for doing dumb shit because I kept making mistakes behind your back. I wanted you to stay the same perfect Samantha. The one who was always ahead of everyone with a kind smile on her face," expressed Vince, having some sort of courage to look right in Sammi's eye when he spoke to her.

"I'm not perfect, Vince, nor will I ever be. Just because I have a different life than you doesn't make me better or lesser than you," said Sammi, looking back down at the piece of paper.

When did they meet?

When did they first hook up?

Ask if he regrets anything.

Ask if he was ever going to tell me.

Talk about him moving on so fast.

Ask if he's okay

Admit, I'm sleeping with Nikki. Fuck that.

"I don't hate you. I want you to know that," admitted Sammi, folding the piece of paper in her hands, stuffing it back in her handbag. "Do you regret anything you've done to me?"

"Yes, I regret being a manwhore to you. You had a point even back then in the beginning," mumbled Vince. "Do you regret being with me? After all the shit I put you through," asked Vince. Sammi looked down at the table, pondering on her emotions to answer Vince. It was a thought she said to herself after everything. Sammi knew everything people go through has a purpose and a lesson. It was great to be with Vince, but now thinking how half of it being based on a sitting lie, it hurts even more.

"It's funny. I keep telling myself I should've just been cold to you guys when I saw you all, and maybe I'd be okay. I don't regret being with you because a lot of fun came from it. I just wish it didn't end like I expected," confessed Sammi, wiping away a single tear that came down her face.

"I'm sorry for hurting you. Do you know if you can ever forgive me?"

"I want to, but maybe let's wait a while,"

"I figured… I'm also sorry about being paranoid about Nikki. Guess I'm a hypocrite for assuming," said Vince, shaking his head like he was dumb to think such a thing. Sammi bit her lip, anxiously bouncing her leg under the table from the words Nikki. Sammi knew everyone would find out soon enough, but hearing Vince calling himself a hypocrite just made it harder ever to spill the secret.

"It's okay. I forgive you for that," Sammi bit her tongue, knowing damn well she was wrong in this department. Vince smiled at Sammi, feeling like he was going in the right direction with his favorite girl. "If you didn't get caught, were you ever going to tell me?"

Vince looked out for a moment, trying not to lie to make himself look good. "Yeah, I was. After stopping I kept thinking about it, but then more shit got into the mix," Sammi could see the pain in Vince's eyes from talking so much, realizing this is most likely the most, he's opened up in a long time.

"Vince… be honest with me. Are you okay? How have you been doing with everything?" asked Sammi, resisting the urge to hold Vince's hands from across the table. Vince let out a heavy breath, going back to messing with the sugar packet.

"No, I'm not. I have to be completely sober until my court date. Your brother and his bitch won't shut their fucking mouths about it. Sharise and I fight for everything. And I have no idea how to be a dad," admitted Vince, eyes looking defeated to Sammi.

"You haven't done drugs? Or drank?" Vince shook his head. "Since the incident?" Sammi asked again in disbelief of a sober Vince.

"Yeah. I have to go get tested each week. This has been the soberest I've been since I was 15," said Vince.

"Tommy and Nikki shouldn't be on your ass for being a responsible person. I'll yell at them to stop bothering you if you need me to," offered Sammi, reaching out to hold Vince's hands. Vince didn't protest, enjoying the tiny bit of affection he received that wasn't sexual. It was just the needed kindness he desperately craved.

"It's okay, Sammi. I'm a grown man, and I should do things on my own. Even if it means my own band hates me for it," answered Vince, gently rubbing his thumb on the back of Sammi's hand. Sammi looked down at their hands, smiling to herself but kept reminding she isn't really a single woman. "But I appreciate the offer. Since you're so smart, do you have any advice for being a dad, or can you do that for me also?" joked Vince, smirking at Sammi.

Sammi couldn't help but giggle with Vince's joke, feeling like everything was back to normal. "No, I don't. You're just going to have to talk to Sharise about being a dad. Also, isn't your daughter like a month old or something? You have time to get better," said Sammi.

"Skylar. Her name's Skylar," smiled Vince.

"That's a pretty name. I'm sure you will have enough time to be a better dad to Skylar," reassured Sammi, squeezing Vince's hands.

"Thank you. Listen, I really appreciate this. I miss being able to talk to someone my shit," said Vince. Sammi smiled at Vince, beginning to play with fingers and pop them as if the two were back to being the normal them. "I even miss you popping my fingers. I guess you really do take things for granted until they're gone,"

"As much as I love an open and meaningful Vince, did you just learn that shit in probation rehab or?" asked Sammi, cracking a smile that made Vince laugh.

"Yeah. Yeah, I fucking did," admitted Vince, laughing along with Sammi. "But hey, it's an improvement! am I right?"

"It definitely is an improvement for sure," said Sammi, relaxing back in the booth. The two held hands for longer than needed, reminiscing on the feeling from the pasts. Vince couldn't help to think of how this wasn't like Sharise. He and Sharise never had a moment of comfortable silence, even after the nights of sex. It felt fast-paced and no ounce of peace compared to how Sammi loved gentle moments. Those moments where Sammi would dance her finger on Vince's scalp, making him relax while watching tv. The moments of Vince hugging Sammi from behind as she studied hard in his office space, giving her any feeling of reassurance. Vince was beginning to remember how bad he ruined this good thing in his life. Sammi didn't know what to say or do, only kept close before leaving and going back to Nikki.

*

August 9, 1985

Los Angeles, California

Sammi and Athena strut down Hollywood Boulevard, smiling and laughing with the wind playing up in their hair. Sammi glanced down on her wrist, seeing her brand new watch read 3:30 in the afternoon. The day was beautiful for the boys to start their tour, wind cooling the California summer heat and not a cloud in the sky. The Bass sisters had a day off to surprise Tommy and the boys while they did soundcheck, everything feeling perfect for once. After a short walk from the public parking garage, Athena opened the Hollywood Pantages Theatre's massive doors. The roadies were pacing around at the front of the theatre, putting up a table of merchandise of shirts, posters, and records. Sammi glanced around the grand entrance with glee until her eyes fell on a woman and a brand new blonde baby in her arms. Sammi froze from a distance, Athena standing next to her sister to catch Sammi's eyes on Sharise standing with a tiny Skylar.

Sharise bounded Skylar in her arms, seeming tired and irritated all at the same time until finally noticing the Bass sisters look at her. She forced a smile to Sammi, slowly approaching them in the center of the entrance. Athena laced her arm around Sammi's, standing in as the protective sister she was. Sammi almost held her breath, couldn't keep her eyes off Skylar.

"Hi, Sammi. Hi, Athena. How have you girls been?" asked Sharise with a kind smile.

"We've been good, Sharise. How's being a new mama?" asked Sammi with no anger in her heart, smiling as if she was catching up with an old friend.

"Crazy. I had no idea how much one baby can be such a handful. It isn't easy when you feel like you're doing it alone," vented Sharise, smiling at Skylar look at Athena and Sammi in curiosity.

Sammi smiled at the baby. "Hi, Skylar! Aren't you just the prettiest little girl," cooed Sammi making Skylar laugh a bit.  

"Vince isn't helping you?" asked Athena, frowning deep 11 lines between her brows.

"No, he tries but gives up and just looks at me to finish everything. He's also under a lot of stress with touring and his court date. I'm sure he vented to you about it," said Sharise to Sammi, pressing her lips hard together.

"Um… yeah, he did, but I told him to talk to you about it. You and Vince can help each navigate being brand new parents together," uttered Sammi, playing with her hands to ease the nerves.

"Thank you for trying. I don't think I'll see that happening anytime soon," mumbled Sharise, trying to keep Skylar from jumping out of her arms. For being two months old, she had the capability of moving around fast, almost like her daddy. It was cute to everyone but hard for Sharise to keep her still when necessary. Skylar's arms popped up wide from her little chest, reaching out for Sammi to hold her. Sharise tried to make Skylar stop moving, but it only resulted in Skylar letting out small cries.

"I think she wants Sammi to hold her?" questioned Athena, switching glances between the two girls.

"Oh no, you don't have to, Sammi. I get it if it's uncomfortable," offered Sharise.

"Honestly, it's not. I'm completely okay holding little Skylar," said Sammi, reaching out to hold the baby, slowly switching between her and Sharise. Sammi bounced Skylar in her arms, seeing a bright smile that almost resembled Vince's. Skylar rested her head on Sammi's shoulder, feeling very at peace in Sammi's even though she was a complete stranger. Athena and Sharise gawked in shock at the baby's reaction, seeing how gentle and kind Sammi appeared.

"Wow. You're the first person she's felt comfortable with that wasn't family," admitted Sharise, not knowing if she favored this or not. Sharise knew she was the other woman who got in between Sammi and Vince, but she wasn't used to the kindness she was receiving.

"I guess babies just love me. Jesus, you're gonna look just like your dad. I can already see it," said Sammi to Skylar in a cute voice, making her smile. Sharise slightly shaking her head at Sammi's statement.

"You were on your way to see Vince or?" asked Athena.

"Yeah, since he's gonna be on tour, I thought I'd visit family in Nebraska. I really don't like being alone in that big house," said Sharise, fixing her hair.

"Well, in that case, let's see them before they ditch this place," announced Athena, heading right to the theatre doors.

"You can keep carrying her if you want. She really likes you," said Sharise, following Athena's footsteps. Sammi followed behind with Skylar quietly resting on her hip, almost falling asleep. The theatre was ginormous, having an upstairs for extra people to sit. The album cover was drawn big on the center stage as roadies continued to set up amps and instruments. The three girls could see Vince sat in the front row seats, isolated from the guys on the stage. Sammi could tell Nikki appeared more irritated than before, sipping on his soda with a sulking stare. Tommy and Mick talking among themselves, soon seeing the women come closer. As the girls reached the stage, Sammi stood right in front of Vince, smiling mischievously.

"Surprise! I have your child," said Sammi, Skylar noticing her dad seated down in front of them now. She began cooing in excitement, reaching out for Vince as he stood up from the red velvet chair.  

"Uhh, why are you here? And why do you have my child?" asked Vince, lifting his daughter out of Sammi's arms, giving her a kiss on the forehead.

"What? I can't come to visit my brother and friends at work? Also, Skylar wanted me!" said Sammi, crossing her arms, still smiling pridefully while Sharise stood right by her. Vince switched looks between the two women, unable to say anything that came into his head. 'They're  acting like friends?'  thought Vince, also seeing the confused looks from the rest of Motley.

"Skylar has found someone to like that isn't related to us. Isn't that nice for our little girl?" said Sharise, showing her annoyance for Vince already after a few words. Athena could see the tension needing to be cut with a knife, stepping over to Sammi to grab her hand and watch this drama from a distance. Sammi smiled at the couple, heading towards Nikki, Tommy, and Mick, who also wanted to see the show. Nikki shook his head at Sharise and Vince, Sammi boosting herself up to sit right next to him on stage. Athena standing right by Mick, who strummed on his guitar.

"Is this bring your fucking girlfriend to work day?" whispered Nikki to everyone, Tommy giggling.

"Wish I had a girlfriend," mumbled Mick with sadness, sipping the water bottle he always carried. Athena softly reassured Mick, placing a delicate hand on his shoulder.  

"I know Mick, I know," muttered Nikki, seeing Sammi staring right at him with a scowl. "Can I help you?" asked Nikki, getting closer to Sammi's face, making her break into an almost smile.

"Who else's girlfriends have been coming in today?" asked Sammi, raising an eyebrow in question. Nikki smirked and chuckled, hinting as to who else has come to the venue without exposing them. He really did like reaching the edge of getting caught. Sammi could see Sharise grab Skylar out of Vince's arms in the short distance, saying a monotone goodbye and turning on her heels to the door. Vince didn't hold back his somber face, hearing Skylar cries echo throughout the theater. Sammi caught Vince's eyes, giving a sympathetic smile to reassure him. Vince just stayed in his seat to sulk.

"Heather came today before going to pick up her parents. I'm having dinner with them tonight before we head out on Saturday after this show," said Tommy, stealing a sip of Mick's water bottle. "Where… I will propose…" mumbled Tommy, coughing. Athena and Sammi whipping their heads fast with big eyes at their older brother.

"You're proposing?!" yelled out the Bass sisters in unison. Everyone in the building turned their heads to the sisters, beginning to eavesdrop. Sammi jumped off the stage, standing right in front of Tommy with arms crossed, ready to lecture him as if he were a child. Vince came up from his seat, almost slamming against Sammi with his jaw dragging on the floor.

"You wanna get married?!" asked Vince frantically, frowning at the drummer.

"How long have you two even been dating? Trust me, it's not been long!" said Athena, restraining herself from raising her voice.

"I know, but I feel confident about Heather! Mama and Dad love her, which is great, and look how nice she is! You guys always know I wanted to get married to someone I love," explained Tommy, dropping to his feet to the ground and standing up for himself.

"Dude, the last girl you wanted to marry called me a cunt, and I almost punched her. Why can't you just wait a year?" expressed Sammi, frowning with deep concern. Tommy scratched his head, looking down at feet with everyone staring at him.

"It's different this time. I swear it really is and come on I know you girls love her too. Can I just please have my two favorite people be on my side? Please?" begged Tommy, smiling down at his sisters. Athena and Sammi exchanged looks of worry melting away with the love they had for their brother.

"Fine, you're right. If you're thrilled with Heather, then I guess we should be too. Right, Sammi?" asked Athena, nudging Sammi with her elbow.

"Yeah. She is pretty nice," mumbled Sammi, smiling at Tommy. Tommy hugged Athena and Sammi so tight it almost made Sammi regret being sweet. Sammi pushed away from the group hug, seeing Vince on the verge of wanting to speak to her. Nikki grabs Mick's water bottle, jumping off the edge of the stage to hang an arm around Vince's shoulders.

"Want some water, Vince? Made a mint too?" asked Nikki, chuckling at Vince's discomfort of being sober. Sammi rolled her eyes, pushing Nikki's arm off of Vince, gaining a smile from the blonde and a scowl from Nikki.

"Leave him alone, Nikki. You shouldn't be tempting him like that," scolded Sammi.

"Why? He's a big boy. If he wants to break he little sobriety that's on him," said Nikki, poking Vince in the cheek only to get his hand slapped away. Sammi shook her head, narrowing eyes to Nikki, becoming peeved on the way he was behaving.

"You're such an asshole, Nikki," spat Sammi, looping her arm onto Vince's and pulling him away from everyone. "Come on, Vin, I need a smoke already," Vince didn't object to Sammi, surprised but still smiling at the gesture. Nikki stared at the two walkings off, mouth opened slightly as if he was the one who should be offended.

"Oh, so you two are friends now?" shouted Athena. Tommy looked in disbelief, but with some sort of happiness that the two were friendly again.

"Yeah!" yelled Sammi, pushing open the doors and heading straight to the main doors. Sammi let go of Vince's arm, searching in her purse for her pack of cigarettes until Vince held up two cigarettes. She happily took for herself, leaning towards her own lighter and passing it to Vince. She inhaled for a moment, feeling the smoke relax her until Sammi blew it out into the wind. Sammi side-eyed Vince seeing him smile with glee while smoke aside her.

"What's that smile for?" asked Sammi with a smirk on her lips

"Just find it enjoyable when you call out people on rare occasions. Such a loudmouth for such a tiny body," said Vince.

"You could say you're welcome to get Nikki off your back," suggested Sammi, shrugging her shoulders while keeping the same energy.

"Thank you. I highly appreciate it," smiled Vince. "I swear I don't know how I'm going to be able to be on a bus with those guys, mainly Nikki,"

"I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think," reassured Sammi, stepping on the small cigarette bud.

"Really? I'm sober while the rest of my band is too high or drunk to know what's going on. I mean, look at our album, it's crap!" vented Vince.

"It can't be crap if it's doing so well," said Sammi.

"Have you ever listened to the album? The whole thing?" asked Vince, seeing Sammi shake her head. "Okay, so what songs have you heard?"

"Home Sweet Home…" muttered Sammi.

"The only good original song plus the cover we did. That's it! Nikki was too high to write actual good songs,"

"He's written with coke in his system before, and it's been fine. It's just one album that you don't like. Pretty sure every one band member in any band has felt like that," said Sammi, moving to be right next to Vince on the wall. Vince frowned at Sammi, giving her pity on her oblivion.

"Sam, Nikki's been doing more than just coke lately. You haven't seen the tiny tracks on his arm?" asked Vince, raising an eyebrow.

"What?" questioned Sammi, blinking rapidly.

"He's been shooting up. He's doing heroin and mixing coke and something else with Tommy. You really haven't noticed?" said Vince, stepping on his cigarette to get another one. Sammi stared at Vince in disbelief, not wanting to think of Nikki going back to heroin after being together. After he promised he wasn't going to do it again.

"I'm an idiot," whispered Sammi, dropping her head into the palm of her hand. "So he never stopped? Even after the studio incident?" Vince shook his head to Sammi, only making her huff.

"Did he tell you he was going to stop?" asked Vince, taking a drag from his cigarette. Sammi nodded, looking down at the ground. "And when did he tell you that?"

"Back in February. I went to his house and tried talking to him after what happened to you. I flushed the rest of the shit he had in his room," confessed Sammi, looking at Vince with sad eyes.

"Clearly, that didn't stop him. Please don't tell me he got angry at you for flush his drugs down the toilet," said Vince, turning his body to face Sammi.

"He grabbed my wrist really hard but apologized after. That was it. God, I'm so stupid for believing him!" yelled Sammi, feeling her cheeks turn red from embarrassment. Vince sighed, stepping on his cigarette, slowly wrapping his arm around Sammi's shoulders. Sammi didn't reject the hug, her arm finding Vince's waist and resting her head on his chest. Vince rubbed Sammi's arm for comfort, resting his chin on the top of his former girlfriend's head.

"It's not your fault Sammi for having a big heart. You just have to realize you're talking to four men who don't listen to anything. Even if we know we're doing something completely wrong," calmly said Vince, being the one to get reassurance for once in a long time.

"So what, you guys are just gonna slowly kill yourselves?"

"Look, you can try as hard as you want to get to Nikki because I know he mildly listens to you, but don't be sad if nothing happens," said Vince, letting go of Sammi and digging his hands in his jean pockets. "And try not to flush his drugs again. I wouldn't want to beat his ass for hurting you," Vince pinched Sammi's cheek, making her smile like always, not knowing if they should head back to soundcheck.

"Okay… I'll take your advice," mumbled Sammi, giving Vince a proper hug.

"You'll what?" asked Vince with a cunning smile, squeezing Sammi with his arms. Sammi began laughing out loud to Vince, trying her best to break out of the hug.

"I said I'll take your advice! Jesus, stop squeezing me!" ordered Sammi, breaking to giggles as Vince still kept a tight grip on the small girl. "What is it gonna take for you to let me go!?" asked Sammi, almost falling back.

"Say I'm your best friend who's right for once," shouted Vince, leaning forward to make Sammi bend backward, his laughs muffled against Sammi's shoulder.

"No!" Vince squeezed Sammi a bit harder, "Fine! You're my best friend who's actually right for once in his life!" shouted Sammi, finally being released by Vince's grip, seeing him have a shit-eating grin on his face. "Happy?'

"Yep!" said Vince, about to head back inside until Sammi took hold of his wrist. "What?"

"Well, 'best friend,' you're not gonna tell me why Sharise looked like she hated you earlier?" asked Sammi, raising an eyebrow.

Vince huffed, "I haven't been able to talk to her. She keeps running off on me to her friends or family. Please, I don't want to talk about it anymore. The fact you two looked like friends today weirded me out," said Vince, opening the doors to the theater.

"Hey, in my defense, Skylar likes me some odd reason!" shouted Sammi, following Vince.

"In that case, do you want to babysit and teach me to be a dad?" teased Vince, smiling at Sammi rolling her eyes.

"In your dreams," said Sammi, jabbing her elbow in Vince's side.

*

A hard knock echoed in Sammi's apartment, halting Sammi from draining the pasta she had boiling. She checked the analog clock that hung on her wall, wondering who would stop by out of the blue. After turning off the stove, Sammi opened the door without caution, surprised to see an upset Nikki standing in the hallway. Nikki rose there in the same dark vest and button-down from earlier, eyes tired as always.

"Why are you here? I didn't invite you over," asked Sammi, crossing her arms against her chest. Nikki pushed past Sammi, stomping into the apartment, sitting right down on the small dining table. He looked over the breakfast bar seeing the stem coming from the stove, nodding with approval.

"I thought since you were quiet to me after your smoke with your little ex, I'd drop by. Here to remind you what you got in your bed," said Nikki, leaning back against the chair with one arm resting on the back. Sammi closed her front door, stepping towards Nikki with a great distance.

"Please don't tell me you're jealous of Vince now? I already dealt with enough of that from him," said Sammi, leaning against the wall.

"I don't get jealous. Now, where's my dinner?" sniffed Nikki, wiping at his nose and bouncing his leg fast as he couldn't look Sammi in the eye.

"At your house. Where you keep your heroin," spat Sammi, getting Nikki to look her in the eye, his face going almost pale compared to olive skin. Sammi inhaled deeply, ready to fight with Nikki as her blood began to boil. Nikki stayed silent, trying to think of some bullshit lie to Sammi.

"Who told you that? Vince? You're really going to believe Vince, the guy who cheated on you?" asked Nikki, scowling at Sammi with deep wrinkles in-between his eyebrows.

Sammi shook her head, standing up straight. "Yeah, I am. Because him being sober from drugs means he sees shit when I'm not there. I know you're shooting up again! And I know you're doing some other shit drug with my brother!" yelled Sammi, pointing her finger right at Nikki. Sammi could see the discomfort on Nikki's face, him shifting in his seat, unable to even look unguilty.

"He's lying! I'm not doing it! You don't see me do that shit!" shouted Nikki, standing up to Sammi, getting closer to her face. Sammi stepped back a bit, glaring up hard at Nikki's dark eyes.

"Yeah, when you're here! I don't know what you do when you leave in the middle of the night! Or when you're by yourself in your house! How come we never go there anymore, huh?" demanded Sammi, pushing Nikki in the chest. Nikki stumbled back for a moment, flaring his nostrils from the sight of Sammi.

"Did you tell your little boyfriend about us then? Huh? You had to if you two decided to talk shit about me," muttered Nikki, getting right up close to Sammi, her back slamming against the wall. Sammi felt scared but knew she had to stand her ground in this situation, even if it resulted in something terrible.

"No, I didn't. Only how I flushed your drugs the last time, and you gripped my wrist. Are you going to admit it, or do I have to raid your room again and wait for you to hit me?" said Sammi, inhaling shakingly. Nikki took a few steps back, glaring at Sammi. Nikki then kicked one of the dining chairs, sending it flying across the room, almost breaking it. Sammi jumped in fear, covering her mouth from almost yelping, eyes open wide.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Sammi! Why do you give a shit if I'm shooting up!? I'm not offering it to you! You do coke, Ms. College Graduate! So why do you give a fuck?!" yelled Nikki, ready to pull his hair out of his head.

"Because it's dangerous! You can die if you go too far! Why would you throw all of this away for some drug?!" shouted Sammi, staying far away from Nikki. "And when I do coke, I fucking stop for MONTHS, alright?! I don't go on benders like the rest of you,"

"Yeah, because you think you're better than us. Just because we're not some assholes wearing a suit and tie to work with a stupid piece of paper," mumbled Nikki.

"Oh shut up, Nikki. Get that shit out of your head and get the fuck out of my apartment!" ordered Sammi.

Nikki narrowed his eyes at Sammi, walking closer to her only to have Sammi step away from him. "You're sure about that, Samantha?"

"Yes, I am, because you and I are fucking done! Whatever we are, we are done! I'm not dealing with your shit while you spiral out of control," said Sammi. Nikki didn't bother to move from where he stood, seeing if Sammi was only bluffing. "Get out! I want you out! Get the fuck out!" shouted Sammi, moving behind Nikki and pushing towards the door. She didn't restrain herself, pushing him harder and more aggressive as they got to the door. Nikki couldn't stop Sammi, shocked at the small girl's anger. Sammi yanked the door open, pushing Nikki out of her apartment with all her force.

"Sammi wait-" Sammi slammed the door right on Nikki's face, dropping herself to the floor. She let her head fall on her knees, a sob escaping her lips. Sammi felt the same sadness she once felt when discovering Vince cheating on her. She couldn't stop thinking how much of an idiot Sammi was for not paying attention. Sitting on the floor to let her sorrows out was the only thing Sammi wanted to do. She cried out alone like Sammi had been for some time now, almost like a repeated cycle since knowing all of Motley Crue.

[vincess-princess]

What Is Lost, What Is Found

Chapter 3.

Word count: 2585

Trigger warnings: none

Author’s note: i can’t believe this myself, but here we are, after an 8-month hiatus.

Tommy came again six days later, this time in the late afternoon. He peered gingerly into the store, not even daring to open the door wide enough to see his face. Mick could only see one very worried eye and a trembling right corner of his lips.

"Mr- Mick? Am I too late?"

"Never too late for cleaning, kid." Mick looked up at him from his lunch which he was consuming at the moment. He’d rather keep staring at the hot dog he was eating, but the boy didn’t need to know Mick was probably even more anxious than him. "Lunch first, though. Are you hungry?"

He didn't wait for Tommy to answer and put a couple of dollars onto the counter. Tommy stepped into the shop, closed the door behind him carefully, and almost tiptoed to the counter. Mick smiled, trying to reassure him that everything is alright. The boy smiled back timidly and took the money – silently. He didn't even try to start his usual "oh you're too kind, Mr. Mars", which Mick decided to consider his personal achievement.

"You know what to do."

Tommy did, and this time came back not only with a burger but also with French fries. Progress, Mick thought with warm satisfaction.

Tommy handed him the change, pulled up a chair from the back room, placed it near Mick, sat down and started eating, or, rather, devouring his food. Mick couldn't help but watch him proudly like a granny watches her grandson eating homemade food. The awkward silence in the shop was interrupted only by Tommy’s energetic chewing, and Mick decided to put on some music. Tommy approved randomly pulled out of the pile Led Zeppelin II with a thumb up - his mouth was too full to speak.

"How much time do I have?" Tommy asked once he was done with his fries. "You close at eight, right?"

"Right, but that doesn't mean I'm leaving at eight. I usually stay overtime to sort out records and count the revenue. So take your time. Why are you so late today, though?"

"Uh," embarrassment reddened Tommy’s cheeks suddenly, "I, uh, had to wait for the guys to leave for a, hm, job. They were supposed to do it in the morning, but we had a, well, some good time at a club yesterday. So we all were, hm, kind of hungover today. So we overslept. But as soon as the guys were out the door, I rushed to you!"

Mick rolled his eyes, mostly out of Being-An-Adult duty than out of disapproval. He didn’t approve of such behavior of teenagers but believed it to be perfectly natural. He was like that too once, after all.

And Tommy rushed to meet him. Rushed. Nobody was ever as excited about meeting him as Tommy. Even Mick’s own kids.

"Ain't you too young to drink, kid? How d’ya even get there?"

"Well, not that it's really that difficult," Tommy snorted into his soda. "The security knows us."

"Oh, so you're also faithful clients?" Mick chuckled. He knew he shouldn’t approve it. At the same time, he wouldn’t be able to play a strict guardian even if he tried. "It was stricter in my days, which weren't so long ago, but still. Good for you, I guess. Just don't do drugs."

"I don't!" Tommy reassured him, for some reason really emphasizing that "I". "Honestly, I didn't expect you to be so chill about that. All adults I know always freak over it."

"I'm chill about a lot of things." Mick almost didn't lie. After all, how could he judge someone when he, himself, couldn’t beat the very same addiction?

A customer, an elderly lady looking like she got stuck in the fifties, entered the shop, and Mick, noticing glances of disapproval she cast at Tommy, shooed him to the back room. He didn’t want the kid to scare off all his customers.

He definitely needs a haircut, Mick thought idly. And new jeans. And new shoes. And new, well, everything. It was a wonder he still hadn't attracted the attention of the police, walking around the streets like that. Mick never considered his neighborhood to be respectable, but even here the boy looked terribly out of place.

He could, of course, pay Tommy more – not that this rather small sum of money could make his business go bankrupt. He knew, though, that Tommy wasn’t very likely to spend it on clothes or even food, considering everything he had just heard. And Mick didn’t want his money to go into making those kids alcoholics. It could go into making Mick an alcoholic himself, of course, but he was an adult who was willingly giving in to a habit he realized was harmful to him. Mick was pretty sure none of those young misfits knew what an addiction could entail.

The customer was particularly fond of Elvis Presley and ended up buying a few of his rare editions, which rather improved Mick's opinion on her. He always respected a keen music lover, especially an Elvis lover.

"Can I go out now?" Tommy whispered dramatically, peering from the backroom after he had heard the door close. "She didn't really like me much, did she?"

"Old farts like her” – aren’t you an old fart yourself, the voice in Mick’s head whispered, “want all boys to have bowl cuts, wear bow ties and obey their parents. Don't worry about that."

"I don't." Tommy shrugged. "I'm used to it. What should I do now?"

"The floor is waiting for you." Mick waved his hand towards the toilet, where Tommy proceeded to go to fetch a mop and a bucket.

The conversation seemed pretty light-hearted, almost without that last time tension, and Mick almost managed to believe everything was alright.

Almost, because something lingered in his mind. A phrase of Tommy's, barely a couple of words that rubbed him up the wrong way. God, they talked barely ten minutes ago. What was his memory turning-

Gotcha.

"Hey, Tommy," Mick called, and Tommy ran up to him from the other side of the store, concern on his face.

"Yeah?"

"What did you say about the guys? Something before the bar talk?"

"What did I say about..." Tommy frowned, then his eyes widened. "Oh shit."

"What was that?" Mick demanded to know, taking a step towards Tommy. He was barely taller than him and not much stronger, but Tommy still shrunk, staring at the floor.

"Tommy."

"I'm sorry!" Tommy exclaimed nervously. "I don't want you to think badly about the guys. They just didn't have a chance to get to know you yet. Nikki's super paranoid in general too. I know they'll come to terms with it, but it takes some time."

"Come to terms with what?" Mick tried to find Tommy's eyes, but he hid them behind his bangs.

"Me coming to your store," Tommy confessed with the desperation of a drug addict giving away his dealers. "They don't trust you. They think I don't understand shit. That I'm naive and stupid and can't see through people at all. They treat me like a fucking stupid little boy, and Vince is the same fucking age as me, just nine months older! I'm tired of that shit. I want to prove to them that I'm not stupid. I see that you're a good person. They just need to believe me."

Tommy stopped to gasp for air, and Mick just stood there and looked at him with a face devoid of emotion.

He was right in some way. Not about his own naivety: the boy was as naive as one could get, and it was pure luck he came across Mick instead of any other adult with less pure intentions. But Mick did understand how the situation appeared to someone who couldn't really see through his intentions.

Tommy was going to continue his tirade, but one glance on Mick’s face changed his plans. He stared at Mick for a moment, his eyes desperately examining his face, and then asked:

"Are you angry?"

A wave of cold washed over Mick. Was it his facial expression that the kid got scared of? Did he pull a son-of-a-bitch face once again? And god damn, why did the kid think Mick would be angry at every little thing he did?

"What? No, they have a point," Mick shook his head. Tommy, obviously expecting a different reply, blinked in confusion. "Their concerns are reasonable. They're worried about you."

"Yeah, maybe they do that, but they never take me and my opinions seriously!" Tommy started to flare up again. “It’s always, oh, T-bone, you don’t understand, you don’t know anything about life! I have escaped the goddamn orphanage, I’ve been living out on streets for almost a year now, I had my share of hardships, but for them, I’m still too young and naïve!”

After a short silence Mick uttered his conclusion.

“Yeah, it sucks.”

And immediately regretted it. He had to fight the desire to hide under the counter, far from Tommy’s disappointed face. He needed to support the boy, to help him deal with his problems, and once the kid actually opened up and started speaking about those problems, the only reply Mick could come up with was “Yeah, that sucks”? It must have come off as indifferent at best, mocking at worst. Great job, Mick. Just great.

“Yeah! That’s what I’m saying!” Tommy nodded fiercely. Mick raised his glance, examining the kid’s expression. “At least you understand me, thank god.”

“Yeah, I do,” Mick murmured, frantically trying to come up with something more coherent to say. The boy seemed to have missed the awkwardness of his latest remark. He was just glad someone supported him. Maybe Mick overreacted a little. Maybe it wasn’t all that bad.

He still didn’t know what to say, though.

“You know,” his brain finally came up with an option, and Mick clung to it with passion of a lover holding their partner close, “maybe they need to see what we’re actually doing here to realize their paranoia is unfounded? I understand they might have had a slightly wrong impression of my character when I was dragging them to the backroom threatening to call the police.”

“Yeah,” Tommy giggled, “this sure has left a biased impression. So you think I should bring them here?”

“Exactly,” Mick confirmed quickly, glad that he got off cheap with his lack of parenting skills. “Great idea. Bring them to the store and show what we’re doing here. And, additional help is always welcome.”

“Oh, great!” Tommy beamed. “I love it here with you but I really want to be able to tell the guys about it. They won’t steal anything, I promise.”

“Of course they won’t, after such a failure,” Mick laughed. “Nikki seems like the type with principles. Not sure about Vinnie.”

“The only principles he has are not to sleep with cross-eyed girls and not to have a curly-haired person in a band,” Tommy smiled. “I don’t know why he hates curly hair so much. He has a lot of, um, quirks.”

Nikki was a walking quirk himself, Mick thought, but decided not to say it. Tommy could laugh at Nikki’s weird preferences as much as he wanted to, but Mick saw how warm his voice became every time he mentioned Nikki. Surrounded by cold and unfriendly adults, Tommy could really take to a person that expressed even a minimum amount of concern and care.

Mick could only hope Nikki wasn’t a bad influence for the kid. Which he probably was, with his always-looking-for-trouble attitude.

“You two seem to be close,” he only said, trying to manipulate Tommy into telling him more about Nikki. The boy only needed a slight push in the right direction.

“Well, we have spent half a year roaming the streets, I guess that really brings people together,” Tommy shrugged. “Without him I wouldn’t have survived out there. He’s super street smart. He says he ran away from home when he was twelve.”

“Doesn’t he have any relatives to put him up? A twelve-year-old kid was just sleeping out in the streets and no one cared?” Mick only now started to realize how big the problem was.

“Well, I’m not entirely sure, but he said his mother never cared about him. Well,” Tommy lingered, “he didn’t say exactly that, but it was pretty clear. He’s got grandparents, but they live in another state, and Nikki said he wanted to stay in L.A. I’m not sure if he has any other relatives. He never mentioned anyone else.”

“That’s not much,” Mick sighed. Anger started to rise inside him. A child should always have a home to come back to. Always. The mere thought of people who could so easily abandon their child, their flesh and blood, made Mick feel sick to the stomach. “And you all have been surviving on what, Nikki’s, hm, skills?”

“Well, we work if we can find something sometimes. Vince also helps out. He has this talent of finding boyfriends with property, so we can spend a night or two under the roof of one of his numerous lays before Nikki pisses them off and they throw us out.”

“And how often does this happen?” Mick felt like he was going to throw up. One a shoplifter, another basically a prostitute. What a great company for an impressionable young boy just out of an orphanage.

“Well, Nikki has a talent of pissing off Vince’s boyfriends, so it happens quite often. But Vince always finds new ones.”

“Where? Nightclubs?”

“Maybe. He says he “knows his places”. As though we don’t know which gay bars he hangs out in. There are not so many of them around.”

“Wait a minute,” Mick interrupted him. “Aren’t they all eighteen plus? How does he get in there?”

“Well, he used to sing in bands when we were in high school. Probably from there. I’m not sure, we had same classes at school, rehearsed together even, he’s a good singer. Then I went to the orphanage, and when I came back, he no longer performed. I mean, my drum kit was gone, so I couldn’t play anymore but his voice didn’t go anywhere. I dunno, he just… changed. A lot.”

“In what way?”

Tommy sighed, plopped the rag in the bucket and looked up at Mick.

“He’s gone more, like, fake, you know? Like, he always plays his boyfriends around, they are ready to do everything for him, but he also tries it with us. He’s always in that playboy mode now. And that’s some kind of bullshit. I mean, he was like that at school and towards girls, but he never tried it with me. He knew I knew him. And now I feel like I don’t know him anymore.”

‘Who knows what happened to him while you were away,” Mick said. “Looks like he went through a lot.”

“Yes, I thought the same, but he always says everything is fine. And it’s not fine. And I can see it. And it’s killing me.” Tommy sighed and began dragging the rag across the floor.

“You do care about your friends a lot,” Mick noted gently.

“Too much for my own good,” Tommy murmured, not looking back at Mick, his whole attention devoted to the rag. Mick decided to stop asking. He’d heard enough to think over.

But first of all he had to take a closer look at those Nikki and Vince.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Kids Getting Older (Sriracha, Part 30.)

Description: A problematic college student gets the worst summer job of the ‘83 - Jim Hopper, the Chief of police in your hometown will have you as his secretary since his old lady Flo has two months lasting holiday. It was agreed so Hopper could keep you far away from all the trouble.

Part Summary: Since you realized that Eleven is getting older and more distant from both you and Jim, you just seem to finally realize how quickly kids grow... And that maybe the kids are not just kids anymore.

A/N: I love this weird family dynamic so much. It is really relaxing to just write a... Normal family dynamic. But that is going to end with the next part. Stay tuned!

Word count: 1.7 K

Tagging: @nemodoren @creedslove @missdictatorme

Master list: H E R E

Christmas holiday spent like a family? The Christmas of 1984 were the best Christmas you had lived through. You spent Christmas Eve in the house of your parents, cooking the dinner with El and mom, and Aiden's girlfriend - you couldn't believe she is real - while you let the boys talk about stuff and drink some Whiskey. Even Aiden got some - just a little, though.

The other day, when you opened all the presents you found under the tree, you left for Joyce's - and holy moly, that house was living. Both Wheelers were there, both Byers boys came along, there were Dustin, Lucas, and Max, even Steve came by. Joyce had a big heart and her house was big enough to take in so many people.

You forced both Hopper and Eleven to pose on a photo with you, having Jonathan taking the picture of you. Each of you had the most disgusting Christmas sweater, just because Aiden bought and gave you these bad boys - Hopper's was too tight, Eleven's too big and your, no matter the size, was just disgusting. After that, kids took their new toys and went to play outside while the adults, along with Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan, remained in the house and had a cup of the special Christmas hot chocolate from Mrs. Byers herself.

Then, each of the kids got dressed up and went out for a snowball fight, snowman building and some sledding in the forest behind the house. And bet Hopper’s best shirt that you made him go too. Soon enough, you were there with all the teenagers while he stuck some snow under your jacket, hearing you laugh and scream out loud, having Will and Mike in total terror when you jumped around, trying to get the snow out. In the end, you formed a strong alliance with Eleven and Max, giving the boys exactly what they deserved, winning the fight completely. Then, to calm down, you proceeded to make some angels in the snow while Hop went back inside.

As the year progressed, Eleven started to have a few sleepovers here and there - sometimes, she stayed at Karen’s when boys had a movie or game nights, sometimes you had Max over for dinner. And let me say, since she was living with an asshat like Billy, her older brother, she loved spending time at your place. Especially when Hop had to stay at the station.

When talking about Hop, that man was experimenting. And you didn't know if you liked what you had at home or if you're afraid of what’s he going to come up with next. First came the mustache. Okay, he liked Magnum P.I., you could understand. Then, he put on a bit weight - he appeared taller and more like a bear than ever before. You didn't mind that at all actually because at least, you knew that he's happy with you. And... After that... The wardrobe and cologne experiments came by. Sometimes he pulled out such an outfit that you dragged him to the restaurant’s bathroom to kiss the living fuck out of him and to have a quickie on the bathroom.

Yet, sometimes, he wasn’t looking his best. At those mornings, you stood there, watched him with gritted teeth and walked around with your eyebrows raised. You tried to tell him gently that these maybe aren't working for him the way he would like to and that maybe, you could visit Starcourt with him to pick something else. But Jim was Jim and completely ignored your opinion when it came to fashion.

Starcourt. One of the best Bloomington-Hawkins inventions ever. You loved that place - from the big cinema to a variety of shops it had. Sometimes, when you knew that El won't be misbehaving after, you took there with you so she could choose some new clothes, sometimes you bought her an ice-cream, other times you just walked around the place and talked about boys and stuff. Especially about Mike.

Oh, you remembered the day when the three-inch rule came to your house. You were just watching a movie, curled under Hopper’s arms, being caught up in the chase. That was when a sudden burst of Eleven’s laughter could be heard, making Hop alarmed in a second. You tried to calm him down around this couple - it was the first love and it sure as hell was an intense one. You knew that these two were having make-out sessions behind the closed door... But were you two, you and Hop, any different when you met? No. You were kissing the living hell out of each other when any occasion came by, even after you moved back with him again, and since you were both adults, you even fucked every time and on every place, you got the chance to fuck on.

You were just like them - even at that time. But Jim was able to see incredible differences between you and him and Michael, as he called him, and Jane. He wasnt giving them any actual space, so there was no wonder, why Mike thought that Hopper is an old, insane bastard. You and Mike got along since you were normal when put in his words, and let them close the door. You built bridges of trust between you, Mike and Eleven and as long as you trusted them that they won't do anything insane, you let them have their time.

"Okay. That's it. That's it." - Hopper muttered out and got up, walking to the door. You tried to stop him from basically storming into the room, but it was too late. - "This door won't be closed as long as I'm in the house, do you both understand? Three inches at a minimum." - Jim told them with a pretty damn scary face as he showed them how to do it. When he got a nod from both Mike and Eleven, he left them be, still checking the door.

"You're too paranoid, Jim, I'm telling you." - You whispered once he sat down next to you again, cuddling you closer again. - "They're just kids." - You smiled and kissed his cheek, concentrating on the movie again. But Hopper was still very cautious about these two - his eyes were turning into their direction all the time, he was checking what they were doing until the very moment when Mike had to leave.

Over time, when Hopper had enough of constantly opening the door and checking on these two, you let the gang wonder around Hawkins with El, taking hikes in the woods and around the city. Sometimes they went to chill at the old sawmill near the town, but the all-time favorite was the hill about five miles from the city. They hanged there most of the time when spring and weather came.

You also did your best to spend time with Hopper, sometimes taking him for dinner at your favorite Spanish restaurant, sometimes you went for a walk too. But your favorite thing to do was still just hanging out with him at El. Of course, your mom made you visit them at least once a week. She wasnt too good at handling having both her children gone - both of them for college. Even Aiden had a girlfriend and sometimes, you just all went to their household to grill something and to chat. You loved Lena and you couldn't believe that she’s real. Your small bro was manning up rather quickly.

It was so weird since you could say when he and Steve ran naked around the swimming pool and where did he fell from his bike, telling Lena everything in the process, embarrassing the living shit out of Aiden. Naturally, she was first rather surprised about you dating such an older man, but as the time passed by, she got used to that tough guy and his douche jokes.

And Eleven had to say that she had everything she had ever dreamt of in the lab - parents, a family, a boyfriend, and friends. She even wasnt tugged in as a little girl anymore, she was going to bed on her will, with you kissing her whole face with laughter, hugging her tight every time. Her life couldn't be better. She especially loved when you and Jim didn't know she's watching and you put the gramophone on in the night, quietly, usually playing Sam Cooke or Ben E. King to dance in the living room. Jim was always making you laugh, he spun you around, whispered something to your ear, making you biting your lip as you smacked his shoulder - but for Eleven it was of sing that she can count on you.

But then, summer came by. You hadn't got any idea of why it was so weird. Eleven asked you if she can stay at Max’s on the fourth of July and even if you thought you’d celebrate it together, you let her have her time. You didn't have any idea of what was going on when Hopper suddenly disappeared without letting behind any message. Nobody gave you a clue that there are Russians set loose in and under Hawkins and that there is a fucking D&D monster who was possessing people with the help of Max’s brother himself.

On day two of loneliness, that was the fourth of July precisely, you had enough - you left to your moms and stayed there, waiting for anything. A call, a sign, for one of them showing up. But there was nothing. So you left for the shift that day - and that was where everything was set in motion without anyone of you normal people knowing.

[ericsonclan]

Took Your Cherry

Summary: Louis' poor choice of words lead to a day of pranks.

Notes: Everybody’s in their 20′s here and it’s pretty much just innuendo XD

Read on A03:

Clementine was sitting at the bar, taking a short break after finishing preparations for what they expected to be a busy day. She had a Shirley Temple in her hands that Prisha had made for her. Violet sat beside her with her own Shirley Temple, chatting with Prisha as she wiped down the bar. Mitch was kneeling on the floor nearby, working on some sort of wiring issue. It was nice to share a quiet moment before the craziness of breakfast rush began.

Louis ambled over, a clipboard in his hands. He must have just come from a meeting with Aasim. No way would he be carrying a clipboard of his own volition. After noticing the girls sitting together at the bar, he changed direction to join them, plopping down on the barstool between Clementine and Violet. He gave Clementine an easy smile which she returned in kind. Glancing over at her drink, he plucked the maraschino cherry from the rim, downing it in one gulp. He’d always had an insatiable sweet tooth, and they both knew Clem wasn’t planning to eat it. “Took your cherry,” he said with a playful wink.

Violet spat her drink across the bar. “What the fuck, Louis?”

“What?” Louis asked with an innocent shrug.

Prisha sighed as she started her cleaning again. “That was honestly vulgar, Louis,”

“I don’t think he meant it like that…” Clementine cut in.

Mitch let out a snort. “Seriously, Louis? Everyone knows what that means,”

“What does it mean?” Louis asked helplessly.

Violet took hold of his coat, pulling him in so she could whisper in his ear.

Louis’ eyes widened in horror. “Clem!” he spun around to face her. “I am sooooo sorry. I had no idea, I swear!”

“It’s OK, Louis. I know you didn’t mean it like that,” Though the statement was true. No point confirming that to the world though. She returned to her drink, eyes lowered so that no one would notice the rosy flush her cheeks had taken on. The others also returned to their tasks, leaving Louis to slink away in embarrassment, hoping the entire conversation would get swept under the rug. As the morning shift began, it seemed that was exactly what happened.

Until a Shirley Temple mysteriously appeared in the pickup window. Louis was picking up the slack since one of their waitresses had called in sick. When he came up to get his order, a Shirley Temple was standing beside it. What was it doing here?

“Umm, Omar? Is this yours?” Louis asked, picking it up.

“Oh, that’s mine!” Ruby exclaimed, coming forward and taking it from him. “Sorry, I shoulda kept a closer eye on my cherry,”

Louis’ jaw dropped. “Who told you?”

“Told me what?” Ruby asked innocently.

Omar loudly harrumphed. “Food’s getting cold,”

This conversation would have to wait for another time. Louis strode away sulkily, his face burning. How many of them knew?

The next Shirley Temple appeared at the booth that had just been vacated. He’d turned around for a minute to grab something to wipe it down and when he returned there it stood, looking at him smugly. Louis snatched it up in exasperation, ready to throw it in the trash.

“Wait!” A hand grabbed his wrist. Violet took the Shirley Temple from his hands, downing it in one gulp. “Now that’s the good stuff,”

“Did you do this, Vi?”

Violet walked away without bothering to answer.

“That’s very unprofessional!” Louis called lamely as he watched her disappear into the back room.

The third one was in the staff room. Louis walked in without looking around, his phone holding all his attention. When he sat down though, he heard something jostle on the table. He raised his gaze and locked eyes with the culprit. The Shirley Temple was still ice cold, the condensation on the outside of the glass slipping down the side slowly. There was more to the prank though: three maraschino cherries rested on top of the icy beverage. Louis’ mind reeled. Did the last Shirley Temple have two cherries? He couldn’t remember. He stalked out of the room, deciding to take his break in the storage closet.

Throughout the day they continued to appear before him, each with more cherries than the last. By the dumpster as he took the trash out, on the hood of his car when he went to grab his checkbook, even in the stall he walked into to use the restroom. Who was pranking him and how could they predict his every movement? Was it all of his staff? How were they so well-coordinated? Louis watched his employees warily, trying to figure out who the guilty party was; they all went about their jobs as if nothing had changed. The only one acting somewhat differently was Violet, who was always more than willing to take the latest Shirley Temple off of his hands. Even if she’d planted some, she couldn’t be moving around that quickly.

Eventually Louis had to admit the bitter truth to himself: they were all pranking him. Prisha drank a Shirley Temple as he walked past the bar, maintaining eye contact with him the entire time. Brody returned to the kitchen with a pile of dirty dishes, a Shirley Temple resting on top of the stack. Aasim went through the food locker with him and handed him each and every Shirley Temple inside without a single word: there were seven. Violet acted as a Shirley Temple vacuum throughout the entire day, sucking down each and every one she came across, a plate of nuggets in her hand. He didn’t know how she tucked them away like that. It would be impressive if the looming feeling of shame didn’t overshadow his entire day.

At one point, he thought he caught Prisha in the act. She was quietly assembling a Shirley Temple at the bar, right as he was about to start his next shift.

“Aha!” Louis exclaimed, running forward and plucking the drink out of her hands. “Thought you could slip this one by me, did ya? Well nice try, but I caught you red-handed this time!”

“What are you talking about?” Prisha glared at him in annoyance. “This is for a customer, not you. Clementine! It’s ready!”

Clementine came over, a serving tray in her hands. “Thanks, Prisha!” She gave Louis a sympathetic glance before grabbing the drink and hurrying over to a waiting family, placing the Shirley Temple in front of the little girl who bounced in excitement at her food’s arrival.

“Tsk, tsk,” Prisha scolded, picking up the jar of maraschino cherries and tucking them back under the bar. “Someone’s getting paranoid,”

“I- well-” Louis had nothing snappy to say in reply. He turned around with a huff, getting back to his work.

It was a long day, both literally and emotionally. Louis continued to be surprised with the variety of places the Shirley Temples showed up. Inside the freezer, on top of the fuse box, On the corner of the Ericson’s Diner roof. They never stopped coming. He was pretty sure their next food order would include a complete resupply of Maraschino cherries as well. He was too tired to ponder that for long though. He sat inside the staff room, his head laid on the table.

He heard the door open and close behind him. Who was even still around at this hour?

The soft clink of a glass being placed on the table. Not again.

Louis raised his head, his brow furrowed in annoyance. “Look, I’m getting real tired of your-” He froze.

“Hey,”

“Clem,”

She sat down beside him, a soft smile on her face. “Looks like you had a hell of a day,”

“You have no idea,”

“I saw a lot of it,” Clementine gestured to the Shirley Temple in front of him with a nod. “Bet you don’t want to see another one of those for the rest of your life,”

“Where did you find that one? In the oven? On top of the display case?”

“Actually, I made this one myself,” Clementine picked up the glass, slowly swirling the drink around. “I was trying to think how I could make you feel better. All I came up with was…” She paused, setting the drink back in front of him. Then she reached forward, taking the maraschino cherry and popping it into her mouth. She swallowed it with an audible gulp. “Took your cherry,”

Louis felt his face heating up as he looked at his girlfriend smiling so sweetly at him. “Holy shit,” he breathed.

Clem’s face wrinkled in concern. “Did I take it too far?”

Before he could properly articulate himself, Louis found himself chuckling. Laughing at how ridiculous this whole day had been. Who’dve thought things could go down like this from one little comment? Clementine started giggling too, joining him as the two of them laughed over the course of events that had brought them here. As they quieted, they looked at each other in silence, reading the other’s face before going in for a gentle kiss.

“I’m glad it was you,” Clementine whispered, looking down as shyness overcame her.

Louis’ face was starting to hurt with how strongly he was grinning. “I’m glad it was you too,”

Suddenly, a hand emerged from under the table, grasping around blindly before landing on the Shirley Temple and pulling it down below.

“What the shit?” Louis exclaimed, he and Clementine both back away from the table in shock.

A loud burp emanated from under the tablecloth. “Worth it,”

“Vi, is that you?”

“Just pretend I was never here,”

“What are you doing under there?”

“Sleeping off my Shirley Temple coma,” She paused. “I may need a ride home,”

Louis shook his head though she couldn’t see it from underneath the table. “Nuh uh, after the shit you pulled today?”

“That was mostly Prisha and Mitch! I just got the benefit of free drinks,” Vi crawled out from under the table, her clothes and hair rumpled. “Does this look like the face of a liar?”

“Fine,” Louis sighed. He turned to Clementine. “See you tomorrow?”

Clem nodded. “Can’t wait,” She leaned forward to press a kiss to his cheek. “Goodnight,”

“Night,”

As Clem exited the room, Violet took her place beside Louis.

“Need a hand?”

Violet let out another belch. “Nah, I’m good,”

They made their way silently through the empty restaurant. Once they reached the parking lot, Louis fished in his pocket for his keys.

“You guys are cute together,”

“I swear to God, Vi, if you tell anyone what happened-”

“Aaw, don’t get your panties in a twist. I won’t,” Violet waved her hand dismissively. “But I’m serious. Clem’s special. I’m glad you finally found someone who makes you feel like that,”

Louis was thoughtful as he unlocked his car. “I am too. Thanks, Vi,”

“Don’t mention it,” They were almost out of the parking lot when Vi spoke again. “Lou, don’t hate me for this,”

“What?”

“We have to go back and unlock the restaurant,”

“What? Why?”

“I have to pee,”

[moonlitwings1]

Nightmares

Billy was awake. Like, wide awake. He wasn’t even tired, but at the same time he was exhausted.  It was 3 in the fucking morning and he couldn’t sleep. It’s been on and off like this for weeks now ever since...the incident. He’d get some shut-eye for about an hour and then wake up and stay awake for another hour. It was pissing him off. He just wants to go to fucking sleep and pretend that everything’s normal. That everything’s fine. 

Christ. He needs a beer. Might as well go get once since it didn’t seem like he would be sleeping anytime soon. 

He slowly pulls the sheets off himself, and steps out of his bed. It creaks. Loudly. He couldn’t risk his dad hearing him making noise at three in the morning. He’d get so much shit if Neil woke up because of him. 

Billy shuffles past Max’s room and hears sniffling from behind the door. Is she...crying? From the sound of it, it was more like sobbing. Really loud sobbing. It was almost like she was gasping for breath. 

For a moment, he stood by the door wondering if he should walk in or not. A particular loud sob startled him, and he looked around paranoid that Neil would come sprinting out of his room. Fuck. If he didn’t shut her up, he would wake up and give them both shit. 

He should go back to his room. Pretend he didn’t hear anything and try to sleep. But he hears Max sobbing behind the door and can’t bring himself to leave because he remembers a time when he used to cry like that. 

He runs a hand through his hair nervously and slowly pushes the door open. 

This won’t end well. 

She doesn’t notice at first when he pushes the door open. He could see her in the dark with her knees held to her chest and head buried in her arms. Jesus. 

He remembers when he had nightmares as a kid right after his mom left. He remembers screaming and sobbing until his throat was raw, crying for his mom who would never come back. Eventually Neil got tired of him crying like a ‘fucking little girl’ and taught him how to keep his mouth shut.

Fun times. 

He still dreams of his mom sometimes. He just doesn’t cry anymore because he’s a man. Men don’t cry. 

But no matter what he tells himself, it still hurts to think of her. 

Billy’s throat grows dry as he pushes the memories out of his head and tries to focus on the little blob that happens to be Max. He takes a step forward and the floorboard creaks. 

Max jumps and looks up, freezing. 

For a moment, they just stare at each other, neither of them breathing.

This was fucking stupid idea. 

He took the time to access the situation. Max was sitting there, looking absolutely petrified, with tears smeared across her face.

"My dad’s gonna wake up if you don’t stop crying,” he whispered forcefully. 

Saying that apparently didn’t help with the problem. As soon as he spoke she started crying again, this time louder, digging her face into her knees. 

“Jesus fuck.”

He stares at her again. If he had just ignored her cries, he wouldn’t have to be dealing with this now. He feels for her, he does. It’s just that he’s never been good at being sympathetic. 

Guess it’s never too late to learn. 

He takes a few steps closer to her, and stands right by the side of her bed. 

“Max.”

“Go away Billy,” she hiccups, voice hoarse. 

Billy sighs, “Why are you crying?”

“Leave me alone,” she says, still not lifting her head from her knees. 

Billy reaches out and yanks on the sleeve of her t-shirt. “Hey, look at me.”

She sniffles, “No.”

“Max.”

“Max.”

“WHAT?” she finally shouts, this time looking up to shove at his arm that was prodding at her arm. 

Billy couldn’t help the fear that went up his spine hearing her shout. “Shhhh! Do you know what time it is? Are you fucking stupid? Neil’s gonna beat my ass if he wakes up because of your blubbering.”

Wrong thing to say (what did he expect from screaming at an already-crying 14 year old girl). He sees her lip begin to tremble and the waterworks start again because of course they do. 

“Leave me alone, Billy,” she says again, but this time she sounds so...broken. He can’t help but feel bad. 

He sighs. “Listen, I’m sorry. Just-tell me what happened.”

When she still doesn’t say anything, he decides to plop himself right next to her on the bed, hip-checking her a little to make room for himself. 

She looks up and glares at him, tries to shove him off with her scrawny arms. 

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what happened,” Billy says, sitting on the bed arms crossed, taking her hits. 

“Nothing happened, Billy! I just had a stupid nightmare,” she huffed, still hiccuping through her words. 

He figured. He’s had nightmares too since he almost got killed by an inter-dimensional demon, just nothing that seemed as bad as whatever Max is dealing with. 

“Yeah? Must be some nightmare if it’s got you all upset like this.”

She didn’t say anything, choosing instead to wipe aggressively at her face.

“I’m fine, Billy.”

Sure she was. That’s why she was sobbing at 3 in the morning. 

“What was the dream about?” he asked hesitantly, ignoring her previous statement. 

Max sniffles. “Just stupid stuff. Nothing important.”

Ah, she was embarrassed. At least that was something he could somewhat understand.

Fuck. He was gonna regret this later. 

“You know, sometimes I have nightmares too.”

She doesn’t say anything but she looks up a little, and Billy took that as a sign to keep talking. 

“I used to have dreams about my mom. She uh...this isn’t going to sound like much of a nightmare...but I used have dreams where she just left. It was almost like a replay of her leaving...and it happened again and again. And every time she left, she would say something like ‘I never loved you’ or ‘Why would I want to take you with me?’ and stupid shit like that.” His breath hitched just slightly and he tried to cover it up with a cough. 

“I know she wouldn’t have ever said that in person, but it still hurt to hear even in dreams. I don’t know if that counts as a nightmare, though.”

“That counts.”

“Yeah? Well now my nightmares are filled with fucking inter-dimensional monsters from who-knows-where.”

He looks over at her and he can see just a ghost of a smile on her lips, head still resting on her knees but at least she’s looking at him now. There are still tears smeared on her face, but it seems that she’s stopped crying for now. She almost looks like she’s in a trance, thinking of something.

He ruffles her hair to break the weird mood he’s just set. She smacks his hand and he grins at her. 

“Alright shitbird, I told you my dreams, you tell me yours.”

Her eyes turn sad again, and she burries her face in her knees again. Didn’t he just succeed in getting her to look at him? Back to square one. 

“No,” she said, voice muffled. “It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid.”

“You don’t even know what it is.”

“I know it’s not stupid.”

“You’ll think it’s stupid. I know it.”

“Try me.”

She pauses at that, lifts her head, and takes a deep breath. 

“I had a dream that the Mind Flayer came back and you and my friends were there. We were just hanging out and then it came back. And, and, it-” she she teared up again, hiccuping through her words. “-it took you again and it was worse because you started hurting all my friends and me. And you tried to take me to the Flayer, and right before it possessed me, I woke up.”

She was full on sobbing by the time she finished telling him what happened. He thought getting her to talk about it would make her feel better but obviously not. 

“Christ, Maxine. You know I wouldn’t do that shit right? It’s not in me anymore.”

“Yeah I know asshole,” she said, wiping tears away. “I told you it was stupid.”

“That’s not stupid, Max. That’s scary. I’ve had dreams like that before too, you know.”

“I know,” she grumbled. “Yours are probably worse, anyway.”

“That doesn’t mean yours are any less important.”

Jesus, he doesn’t remember being this sappy.

“Whatever, dickhead,” she said, obviously not liking this understanding version of Billy.

She opened her mouth like she was going  to say something, and then closed it forcefully so that he could hear the click of her teeth. After a moment of waiting, she sighs heavily.

“What is it, Maxine? Spit it out.”

“It’s just-can you stay here tonight? Just until I fall asleep?”

He turned to look at her, and he could see through the dark of her room that her cheeks were turning pink. The old Billy would have said no without a second thought. But...this was the new Billy. And fuck it. He was already being sappy, why not continue being sappy.

“Fine shitbird, but don’t expect me to be nice all the fucking time. Tomorrow I’m going back to being the same asshole. You got it?”

She laughs, before wiping away leftover tears. “Yeah, I got it.” Finally, she sinks down into her sheets, and he watches as she rests her head against his leg, and he can’t help the warm feeling blooming in his chest. 

“Goodnight, asshole.”

“‘Night, shitbird.”

[sunkissedpages]

We’re Only Kidding Ourselves- Part Fifteen || Tom Holland x Reader

A/N: I blame Hozier for this part. Also, this is the only part with a picture, but you’ll see why. Happy 15, loves!!

Prompt: Enemies to lovers au (from @marvelellie‘s 1k writing challenge!!)

Summary: You work as a production assistant for the Spider-Man: Far From Home crew, or rather as Tom Holland’s handler. The two of you don’t get along very well to say the least, but you won’t quit and he can’t fire you so you’re stuck with each other.

Warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of previous smut, mentions of bullying

What I listened to while writing: Wasteland, Baby! by Hozier and Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812

Word Count: 2.5k

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine| Part Ten | Part Eleven | Part Twelve | Part Thirteen | Part Fourteen

It rained for the rest of the day. Scheduling was a nightmare, they had to switch scenes around and move everything inside before they could even get started again. You avoided eye contact with as many people as possible, knowing they’d all give you the same look of condescension and amusement if they caught your eye.

The day was almost over, they were calling wrap earlier than expected since the schedule had changed. You just had to last a little longer before you could escape. You hadn’t seen Tom since everything had gone down and that was mostly on purpose. You sat in the back of the space where they were shooting by the window, listening on headset in case your name came up.

Every time the lightning flashed outside you were brought back to your conversation with Harrison just a few hours ago.

“Please,” you’d begged. “Please don’t tell Tom.”

“How do you know someone else won’t?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“I don’t. But he can’t hear it from his best friend. Please. Promise me?”

He didn’t answer right away, but turned away from you, leaving you waiting in silence. You stared up at him, willing him to say something. You blinked hard, trying to hold back the tears. The rain was starting to make the ends of your hair curl outwards whereas Harrison’s was falling flat. You concentrated on the drops of rain on your hand, knowing that if you looked at Harrison’s face you’d just start crying.

“I don’t get why it’s such a big deal,” you said, prompting him again.

He shook his head and sort of laughed, but only answered one of your questions. “He won’t hear it from me.”

“Thank you,” you said quietly. More than anything, you felt like hugging him, but thought he might not appreciate it, considering how he was acting towards you. You weren’t sure why he was so upset when you were the one who had just possibly gotten herself fired (for the umpteenth time).

You didn’t know what else to say so you just stood there, shivering as the cold rain seeped through the hoodie and your t-shirt.

“They’re headed in.” Harrison nodded over your shoulder and you turned to see that everyone had started packing up the equipment. “You should get inside.” You didn’t budge. “You’ll catch a cold.”

“That’s just a myth.”

“Well, you’re shivering.”

You didn’t want to leave while he was clearly upset, but you also knew Harrison didn’t like talking about his feelings.

Luckily the tears hadn’t started falling until you’d turned away from him and walked off. You walked through all of the people packing up, hoping they couldn’t tell you were crying in the rain. You had never wanted to be invisible more.

Zendaya found you almost immediately. She was supposed to be somewhere else doing something more important but she stayed to soothe you and try to convince you not to quit. She held you in a tight embrace and rocked you back and forth like a child, not caring that you were soaking wet and that she was in costume. What you had done to deserve her as a friend, you didn’t know.

“No one is going to tell Tom,” she assured you. “They’re all too afraid of you.”

“Afraid of me?” You asked through sobs. “No one respects me on this set, especially now.”

She paused. “Respect isn’t necessarily the word I would use,” she admitted and you couldn’t help but laugh. “But everyone is scared of your influence and no one wants to be the one to tell Tom that everyone knows he kissed you, you know?”

You thought about what she was saying. “I guess that makes sense.”

“Of course it does. I don’t know why you continue to doubt me.”

“Alright, smarty pants.”

Eventually, Zendaya’s people forced her to go do what she was actually supposed to be doing  leaving you alone. 

Every time the static of the headset crackled to life in your ear you began to panic, thinking people were about to start gossiping about you, but it was always someone asking about sound for the shoot. You knew you were being paranoid, but you couldn’t help it.

“Can I get behind you?” a voice asked and you realized you had been standing in front of bins of wires, unintentionally blocking access to them. The voice belonged to Harry, and you remembered that he was another person who had a headset, who probably heard everything you’d said a couple hours ago.

“Sorry,” you said and moved to the side, letting him get to the boxes. “Hey, did you happen to hear earlier...“ you trailed off and he looked up at you.

“Yeahhh, I don’t think I can ever unhear that.”

“Oh my god I’m so sorry, Harry.” you apologized.

He shrugged. “Everyone’s said something over headset without knowing it was on before.”

“But not as embarrassing as that.”

“Maybe not, but you’re not quitting are you?”

You shook your head. “At this point, I don’t have much else to lose.”

“It’ll blow over. If anyone gives you shit for it, send ‘em my way.”

You pictured Harry trying to fight some of the giant stunt guys on set and held back a laugh. “Why are you being so nice to me after all this?”

“Tom’s the one who kissed you, and uh, you can’t control your dreams.”

“So you won’t tell him?”

Harry made a face. “Tell my brother about you having a sex dream involving him? You don’t have to worry about that.”

“Thanks,” you breathed a sigh of relief.

“Nothing to thank me for.”

And with that, he disappeared back into the crowd of techs with the wires he needed leaving you by yourself again.

You called your mom on your break. You didn’t explain everything, but enough for her to get the idea that something had happened.

“Is someone being mean to you?” she asked in a stern tone when she heard your weak voice. Despite everything you smiled. You could picture her looking for plane tickets to Italy online as you spoke.

“Not exactly,” you sniffled.

“Is it like high school?” You knew exactly what she was talking about. There had been some mean girls in your grade. There were in every grade. You specifically remembered one time sophomore year when you’d tried to cut your own bangs and they never let you live it down. Not that it had been a good hair choice, but at the time you had thought it looked cool until you showed up to school only to realize it definitely didn’t.

“No, no it’s nothing like that.”

You told her a loose version of what had happened and she listened until you were finished. Then, like always, she talked you off the ledge. She told you not to quit, not after everything you’d been through. You were coming home in three weeks for a few months, and you’d never have to see these people- most of them, again.

“Y/n, you know you can come home whenever you want to,” she added and it was enough for you to nearly break down again. “I don’t want you to feel forced to stay. But it sounds like even though it’s a real mess over there right now, you’ve met some really great people and had some really good memories too.” You nodded even though she couldn’t see you. You’d talked to her about Haz, about Z. You had told her about the time Harrison had tried to give you a piggyback ride around the studio and you’d both busted your knees on the concrete. Told her about dancing with Zendaya just a few nights ago. And you knew she was right, which, most of the time she was.

You sighed dramatically and she laughed over the phone. “You’re right, mom.”

“I always am.”

You rolled your eyes. “I don’t know if I’d go that far.”

You felt your pager buzz at your hip and were relieved when you read that you were just being called to find Tom and not being fired. You said a quick I love you and goodbye to your mom before hanging up and wiping your eyes.

You stood from the steps and brushed off your jeans wondering where the fuck you were going to have to look to find Tom before he appeared right in front of you, scaring the shit out of you.

“Hey!” His face fell when he saw your expression. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” You shook your head and  tried to laugh it off. “I was supposed to find you, actually. I think break is over.”

“They can wait,” he said firmly. “Is this about the other PAs? Did they do something? Everyone’s been acting weird all day.”

“No, it was my fault.”

He waited for you to say something else, but you didn’t. “You gonna elaborate?”

“No.” He raised his eyebrows in surprise before bursting into laughter.  “Not used to hearing that, are you?”

“Not really,” he admitted, still smiling.

“Dick.”

“Hey, give me a break. I’m Spider-man.”

“Yeah, and you use your powers for evil!”

“I don’t know if I’d call it evil...” he smirked and you rolled your eyes.

“Come on, we’ve got somewhere to be,” you said nodding to the door behind him.

“We?” he asked and cocked his head.

You looked at with him with confusion. “Yeah? We’re supposed to be back on set.”

“It’s just,” he shook his head. “Nevermind.”

You pulled on his sleeve before he could turn around. “No, what is it? Now you have to tell me.”

“It’s just, you’re always saying you need to be here or you need to be there. Never we. I don’t know, it’s nice.”

You sputtered. “I never realized that.” He just shrugged. “So can we go?”

“Oh, yeah, but before we do, I came to find you to ask if you wanted to go to dinner tonight?”

Your heart froze. “Dinner?”

“Yeah, like with Haz and Harry and Z if she wants to come?”

Oh. “Oh. Yeah, sure,” you agreed mindlessly, still recovering from how he’d caught you off-guard.

And that was how you found yourself out in the middle of Venice with two people who knew about The Incident and one who didn’t. You should have never agreed in the first place, but you lived with Tom. He knew you didn’t have other plans.

You’d been milling around for the better part of an hour, trying to decide where to eat on one of the last nights off. Harry had brought his camera and everyone was taking turns playing around with it. You couldn’t help but feel nervous, even though neither of the boys showed any sign that they would say anything to Tom. Whatever mood Harrison had been in earlier had vanished and he was back to his old self, joking with you and the boys like usual. As you walked through the alleyways together he tried sounding out the words on the different signs in a horrible Italian accent, making you laugh harder than you should have.

You’d ditched Harrison’s sweatshirt at the hotel since it was completely soaked. Tom had asked wardrobe for an extra black hoodie that they all wore when they went out so you could blend right in. It wasn’t as comfortable as Haz’s, but it wouldn’t draw attention either.

Harrison snatched Harry’s camera from Tom and began snapping shot of the redhead who protested. Even though he was used to being the one behind the camera, Harry finally gave up and entertained Harrison to pose for a few pictures, running a hand through his curls and jumping up on a fence for the shot.

“You look ridiculous in that bandanna, mate,” Harrison laughed.

“You really want to start this again?” Harry scoffed and jumped down from the fence.

“You both look ridiculous,” Tom concluded.

“Says the man who wore a yellow bandanna,” Haz shot back, turning the camera onto you suddenly.

You smiled bashfully as the flash went off, hoping you didn’t look too funny with the hood up around your face.

“Here, take the hood off,” Haz said, looking at the images as if he could read your mind. He reached up and pushed the hood back, smoothing your hair in the process. He stepped back to survey his work through the camera lens and smiled. “Perfect.”

You smiled again, angling your chin to the side. Flash. Tom whistled with his fingers and you laughed, scrunching up your nose in embarrassment. Flash. Flash.

“Damn, y/n.” Harrison commented with a smirk as he flipped through the pictures on the memory card. Tom craned his neck to look over his best friend’s shoulder, but he shoved him off. “Fuck off, mate.”

“Is that a good damn?” you asked tentatively. Harrison gave you a look, but didn’t answer. “Is it?” you laughed nervously.

“Yes, y/n.”

“I didn’t know if you were making fun of me!” you said defensively.

“Yes, because I’m such an asshole like that.” You shrugged noncommittally and Harrison shoved the camera into your hands. “Here, see for yourself.”

You looked at yourself, a little surprised to see your smile lighting up the screen along with the warm glow of light illuminating your cheeks and face. You looked pretty, sure, but more than that, you looked happy.

You changed it back to the live camera and turned the flash on the boys, taking pictures of them  before they caught on. You tried to adjust the settings like Harry had briefly taught you, not entirely sure if you were doing it right. You got one of Harry looking at his phone, one of Harrison looking not at the camera, but at you behind the camera. Finally, you squinted into the viewfinder at Tom, who had caught on to your ambush and was looking right into the lens. The shutter clicked once and then his attention was already elsewhere.

Flipping through the pictures you’d just taken, you looked over them quickly. The one of Harry was blurry and you sighed in defeat, but didn’t delete it even though you knew he’d make fun of you later. The picture of Harrison was crystal clear, and you thought he might like it. He looked like he was deep in thought and his eyes were piercing, almost transparent in the light.

The photo of Tom was arguably the best. The lights had blurred together in the background so that he was the sole focus. How you had done that, you weren’t entirely sure. His hair was slightly tousled, from messing with the hood on his head all night. His mouth was just the slightest bit open, his lips on the way to the smirk he so often wore.

“Tom, look,” you called, getting his attention.

He observed over your shoulder quietly, and for a moment you thought you might have overestimated your newfound talent. Then he looked back up at you and smiled. “I don’t hate it.”

okay phew! I have mixed feelings about this part but here ya go!! lmk what you think I always appreciate feedback!!

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