#i understand why most of the second gen cant talk
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I don’t CARE how many alt scenarios it would requires at least include lucinas sibling and/or her cousin… bare minimum
YEAH SERIOUSLY and its like. they limited chrom’s support options for a reason. he can only have potentially five other kids anyways. would it be that hard to write a mildly different one off line for each of them just so lucina can bounce off of someone? or just like. owain. hell, you could push tiki’s recruit earlier and let her fill that role instead. its just so weird to start valm’s arc with lucina introducing her character and incredibly tragic storyline only for her to get shoved into the background and just be around for a couple of lines that add nothing to the story. and its like, i understand why the valm arc had to happen, it’s a necessary development for chrom and a decent middle point in the game but i feel like it just wasnt executed as well as it could be. lucina being a big part of that. and i mean, yes i am a big lucina fan so maybe this is just me having personal beef that my favorite character doesnt do much here but its also like… shes pushed as the third main character of the game and yet?? ugh idk. plus if theyre gonna make time travel a huge plot point, maybe show us more perspectives on that like… making another time traveler part of the story so its not just lucina expositioning all over the place when she finally gets to talk
#asks#but thats just me#i understand why most of the second gen cant talk#bc the game cant guarantee you’ll have them#but its like. idk. just make one more an auto recruit.#i still think owain wouldve been perfect for that#he does it perfectly in warriors which i understand came out like. five(?) years later#but it also shows how well lucina works with him#and how she benefits by having one of her own friends with her#like it doesnt HAVE to be owain specifically i just think he would be the logical choice given. you know. their parents#but any of them would work. literally any of them. i dont care. throw a dart at a wheel of the kids and it doesnt matter who it is#it would help so much
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an onryo main talks about the onryo rework
(behavior interactive)
the time has finally come! Sadako finally got an update in DBD and im here to talk about it.
overall, these changes are amazing. i think after this update is released, Sadako will finally move up the killer tier list (though she will always be S tier in my heart ♡ ). though i dont play killer all that much anymore, i still find myself going back and making sure i still got it.
i will be going over each point from behaviors blog post individually to ease confusion- also, they talk about reworking her add-ons as well but didnt disclose which ones they were working on.
projection
Projecting to a TV now applies ¾ of a stack of Condemned to all Survivors not carrying a Cursed Tape (was 1 stack to nearby Survivors).
this is the only one i don't understand why they changed it. i think keeping the projecting stack at 1 is fine- as it doesn't affect survivors unless you're projecting constantly. i do like that now it affects all survivors instead of those around the tv you project to.
The time a TV is disabled after The Onryo Projects to it has been reduced to 70 seconds (was 100 seconds). This can be further reduced using Add-ons.
THANK YOU BHVR OMG. this has been a needed change for a while. even if it was reduced to 80-85 i would have been happy. waiting so long for a tv to turn back on is frustrating, especially if you know survivors are working on a gen near that specific tv.
The time a TV is disabled after a Survivor removes the Cursed Tape has been increased to 90 seconds (was 60 seconds).
THANK YOU AGAIN BHVR. it never made sense (to me) why survivors turning off tvs had them off shorter than when you projecting to them. this also provides some sense of security to survivors working on gens and reduces the amount of time they have to work on turning tvs off.
Projection now has a 15 second cooldown. Since there is no longer a range limit on the Condemned effect, we need to limit how frequently this can happen.
am i upset about this? yes, but also no. my play-style doesnt include me teleporting constantly, but having a cooldown is nice to have so you can plot where to project next.
cursed tapes
Getting hit with a Basic Attack while carrying a Cursed Tape will apply one stack of Condemned.
WHERE WAS THIS WHEN SADAKO DROPPED?? THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. and now carrying a tape is so much more lethal than it was before.
When a Survivor carrying a Cursed Tape is hooked, all other Survivors gain one stack of Condemned and the Tape is destroyed.
JKFHAOFHAOHFIU AGAIN WHERE WAS THIS???? the tape being destroyed is also nice, since when survivors get unhooked they run to get rid of their tape.
Holding a Cursed Tape no longer passively builds Condemned.
hot take: this shoudnt have been in the game in the first place. most survivors keep the tape until they're at 6 stacks then get rid of it anyway (its me. im survivors.)
Cursed Tapes can now be placed in any TV other than the one they were retrieved from.
thats all. i just want to be outplayed by survivors. though i can understand why they had the original mechanic in the game originally. this also provides a sense of safety if multiple survivors are working on a gen.
demanifistation
The Onryo can no longer be stunned while Demanifested.
i have to see how this works before i place a final judgement on it. do we just eat the palette? do we walk through it? LIKE WHAT HAPPENS?????
Chases are prevented when Demanifested, making it more difficult to keep track of The Onryo’s position.
this is the same as other stealth killers (wraith), so i have no real issue with this change. its also nice that survivors wont know you're there due to the chase music playing
Demanifesting now removes Bloodlust, similar to other Killer Powers.
again, its the same as other killers, so i dont really care about this one.
this rework is amazing! i cant wait for this to go live. i might have to stop playing survivor when it does. one thing i want is more cosmetics but other than that this is everything i could ask for.
#dead by daylight#dead by daylight sadako#the onryo#essay-ish?#tw: opinions#i love sadako so much thank you bhvr for giving her buffs
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Alright, later today will be the one week mark since cracking, and its wild how much has changed and how much has stayed the same. Sure, I still can't actually transition for quite a long time, but just the realisations and understanding this has brought me has been life changing. To focus less on the trans part for a second, Its fucking shocking how much having something to look forward to has affected me. I never noticed how bad shit was before until its gotten better. To see the extent to which a lack of positive reasons to Carry On actually affected me on a day to day basis. But I don't wanna dwell on that, Im getting shit done and am catching up with where I should be academically. Reaching Uni keeps looking easier and easier. And yes, I still have times where I feel how I felt before. i make a small mistake, get berated for it, and wonder why I fuckin bother Carrying On. But even at that time, I know its temporary, I know itll pass, and it does. That wasn't happening before, it just stuck.
As I uncover more about myself, Im noticing more and more dysphoria, beit feelings I didnt notice before or things I did notice and found other explanations for. I know this is gonna get worse, but fuck it, I can actually recover from things now. Ill manage. Things aren't actually changing right now, I cant safely transition yet, but as I said, things also have changed.
So far this has primarily been a wider reflection on the past week but I do have something new to add. Ive noticed that, at times, I have felt like being masc is right, that having a deeper voice is right, etc. And I wondered, is it some kinda fluidity? NB? Its only certain situations, most of the time I do feel fem, so what's up with that?
And then I think about a show I'm watching right now, Gen V, and it all makes sense.
Jordan Li's powers aren't exactly clearly defined, but basically, they switch between a man and woman at will (Its not full shapeshifting, the power is binary), as well as having other general superpowers depending on which they are, making for some cool fight scenes. But outside of the fight scenes, the way the show explores which they choose is interesting (and the show DOES explicitly state what Im about to say.)
Its made clear that Jordan is more comfortable as a girl, which their parents hate. Theres a decent chunk of one episode clearly about "HES our little boy, what happened to HIM" while Jordan, originally a guy in this scene, switches infront of their parents to be more comfortable.
So why, outside of combat, do they choose to be masc?
They do it when they try to make a point. Appear authoratative and/or respectable. When interacting with people who they don't think would like them as a girl (e.g their girlfriend, Marie the protagonist, who isn't explicity bi, atleast not yet, and Jordan says they would rather be comfortable as a girl with Marie but they don't know if shes okay with it.)
And I can't help but think that makes TOTAL sense. I feel more masc at work when I want to appear strong, capable, and, dare I say it, "cool". When I'm talking to people I wish respected me more. When I'm with friends, people I know are allies and some queer, I feel more fem. I don't think I'm fluid, I think this I feel the same kinda way as Jordan.
The key takeaway from this for me is that genuinely, representation, especially in the most random places, is so good. Its interesting watching it with my parents because its a world where superpowers are very real, and this person CAN switch at will on every level. And they have to drop the "not a real man/woman" argument and struggle to find a different reason to hate what they see. The representation characters like Jordan provide says "Okay, if we play by your rules and portray what a """real man/ woman""" looks like, this is the REAL situations queer people face and the way they are treated. And you still agree with the people treating them that way. Your problem is NOT how much they are actually like their chosen gender." And its good being in something unexpected. My parents would not watch your standard kinda "queer media", yknow, stuff like heartstopper or whatever (idk, I dont either so idk what Im talking abt.) But putting good, well written rep in a spin off of a show where a dude in a trench coat shoves a bomb up an invisible dudes ass and he says cunt alot exposes them to things they would not otherwise be exposed to.
And thats only talking about the minimal effect this rep has on people who disagree with it. Much more important is the exposure for queer people who don't know it yet, or don't know how they feel, and it provides understanding, something to look at and say "thats me". Honestly, Im gettin a little tired of writing this rn, anything I could say about that aspect of representation has been said a million times already, So Ill leave it there.
So, to conclude, with the absolute hardest line ever said in a show, from Jordan Li:
"Tag team cocksplosion."
Okay maybe not the best choice.
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okay heres a really long post about my onions on scarlet (and violet but ive only played scarlet so far). i will NOT be spoiling any of the story or pokemon that havent been revealed in official media, HOWEVER! i will be talking about certain mechanics in the game in more detail, most specifically how you physically move about in the world (ie the upgrades you get for your mount). while im going to try not to compare scarvi to other games in every single aspect, its not feasible to leave it in the vacuum considering What It Is (a mainline series game from one of the highest-grossing franchises in the world). developer crunch aside, this is what they gave us, so thats what im talking about. SO!! preface done. lets get into this, breaking it up by section with each getting an overall Section Score, and then a final Overall Game Score. points i like begin with ++ and points i dont begin with -- to try and make it easier. THIS IS LONG AND CONTAINS SALT (some deserved, some personal).
THE POKEMON THEMSELVES
section score: 8/10 i like a lot of them! its just the ones i Dont like, i...Really Dont Like
++wooper’s new evo is the singular best pokemon of all time ++the names this gen are top-tier ++most of the designs are really cool! --there are some who have interesting ideas behind their base design/abilities but it really doesn’t feel like it fits with the mon itself and wouldve been better off as a separate entity/pokemon (there is a sea-based creature and a coin critter who bring this to mind most keenly) --while its nice theyre supposedly all to-scale, many are way too small to be seen on the switch screen. conversely i guess i understand why people are always tripping over bug-types in forests
YOUR LEGENDARY RIDE BUDDY
section score: 5/10 their personality is the absolute saving grace here, the novelty of riding them is fun, though a lot of the mechanics fall flat for me but are still required to explore the world
++having the box legendary with you from the tutorial is a cool idea i didnt know i wanted before! ++this lizard is so personality. god bless --the camera cannot keep up when you dash for long distances --i dont hate the fact that there is only a single pokemon you ride on since that cuts down on total animations needed, its just sad we cant use anyone else --i also dont hate that your movement abilities are locked behind one of the story lines, BUT there are hard-locked areas of the game you cannot get to without more progress, which stifles the whole “open world, do whatever you want whenever you want” feel --you unlock gliding late, and after roughly ten seconds of gliding, you begin falling rapidly to the ground. whats the point of this? also no free flight is always depressing, if understandable at a technical level --climbing walls is your last upgrade. the small hop you do at the top of the cliff to make it to the flat ground is often TOO small and you may fall. and if there is a pokemon at the edge where you’re about to be, you will bounce off it and be sent likely back down to the bottom of the cliff. not to mention if the wall is not completely vertical, you might lose your climbing grip and begin to slide down anyway --they take up so much of your screen you often cant see whats in your path and will run over or into obstacles like smaller pokemon or npcs
THE ANIMATIONS, GRAPHICS, AND VISUALS
section score: 5/10 the pokemon textures and chara designs alone save this part from being rated a 3/10
++the pokemon themselves look AMAZING, they have visible scales/fur/metallic sheen and are generally a delight to see walking about ++the npcs and characters are all really cool and i enjoyed meeting them ++pokemon have several different animations you can see with the picnic feature ++pokemon having sleeping animations in the picnic and when idle too long with lets go mode is adorable ++pokemon roaring/crying after they defeat an opponent in battle and are waiting for the next to come out is a nice touch --the environment textures look like 144p stock photos --the landscapes themselves look like a middle schooler’s first blender project, they arent natural and they arent pretty --there feels like there isnt a cohesive stylistic choice, like in legends arceus or breath of the wild, where they have a consistent vibe for the whole game --pokemon dont stand correctly on slopes, ie one of their feet will be clipped into the ground and the other will be floating --most of the move animations are pretty to look at, but we still have “slide forward and jiggle around a bit in your t-pose” and thats IF its a physical contact move. arceus’s dynamic battle movements are completely forsaken here --the idle animations in battle have a lot of dead space between them so we’re back to just two of them t-posing at each other --pokemon dont even close their eyes when theyre asleep. they have a whole animation for it outside of battle, and inside of battle there isnt any sleepy signs. they dont Freezeframe when frozen either. --koraidon specifically does a really cute animation when you’re just sitting on his back BUT. his neck wheel clips into his throat horribly and i just cant unsee it --the pokedex has a cute aesthetic but you cant SEARCH it and trying to read the sideways names is unsatisfying --the CONSTANT jumpcuts/fadeins both in the open world and in cutscenes looks Awful. give the editor a break, you dont need ten small movies to do the job of one
THE UI ELEMENTS AND CONTROLS
section score: 3/10 for every step forward there seems to be several dozen going back
++taking a selfie for your trainer card is nice ++the map has a pleasing aesthetic overall --the map does not show cave layers --while you can lock the large map from rotating, you cant lock the minimap from spinning which disorients me to no end. also the main map doesnt keep your zoom level saved when you close and open it --trainer card is removed from the x menu and instead locked behind opening the large map and then a smaller menu, which is pointless --you cant take a photo of yourself for the profile Icon. why? --the pokemon menu icons do not have special shiny variants, and also they clip horribly within the party screen. all of my pokemon are beheaded and/or have no feet --in the pc why is multiselect bound to the - key and not something way more accessible. why make Y ONLY swap and not toggle between modes like sword and shield had? --in the pc you cant pick up a pokemon and go to the ‘all boxes’ screen and drop them in a new box. you have to manually scroll through all your boxes --in the pc you cant hit Up on your first party member to end up tabbed over the Last Slot --health bars in battle. where do i start. its awful and i hate it? if you have a status effect or take damage from an ability, the bar will display for a moment while the damage animation goes off, and then DISAPPEAR WHEN THE TEXT BOX TELLING YOU THE DAMAGE WENT OFF SHOWS UP. its stressful when you/your opponent is at low hp and you dont know HOW much until the turn resolves entirely. in worst case scenarios (ie tera raids), you may only get a few frames. just display the health bars all the time, along with the pokemons level.
THE NEW FEATURES
section score: 5/10 if these features worked as im sure they were intended or had a few tweaks, they would be 10/10. but they Dont, and its super sad that the bad vastly outweighs the good
++finding rare items on the ground (nature mints, vitamins) is really nice ++being able to BUY nature mints is amazing ++picnicing is fun and handy when you dont want to make a long trek to/from a center ++terastralizing is fun to both do and plan around ++the raids are an improvement over sword and shield ++coop is kind of pointless but still really fun to Exist in the same space as your friends! so it stays as a positive ++accessing your pc boxes from anywhere is a godsend! ++nicknaming pokemon anywhere is nice! ++being able to relearn any past known move at any time is amazing! ++shiny pokemon are seen in the overworld! ++the lets go feature is a fun concept --HOWEVER the lets go feature is implemented Terribly. the mon doesnt stray far from you and immediately returns to the ball if you do get too far. you often send them forward and they dont target what you want them to, or they defeat one pokemon and then give up. 90% of pokemon are also TOO SLOW to keep up with you, which means you cant even reliably have a buddy walking with you for fun. it also makes evolving certain pokemon a hellish nightmare of forcing yourself to walk slowly so they dont get stuck --shiny pokemon DO NOT SPARKLE OR MAKE A SOUND in the overworld. they will ONLY alert you to their shininess when you enter a battle. the only way to identify a pokemon is with the lets go feature (your mons will not attack a shiny) BUT. with all the problems the lets go feature has i just listed, the only other recourse for people who dont use it is to squint at their screen. what do you do with a shiny who flees if you dont notice it in time before getting too close? you lose. good day sir. i will not be giving the game a pass on this at ALL because of the many visually impaired players being shafted on all fronts --speaking of shiny pokemon, shiny dittos and shiny zoruas can be disguised as Normal Pokemon and you wont know until you engage them and they de-transform. and again, the only way to know for sure before you manually battle is the lets go feature. so thats just dumb --we did not need crouching and sneaking in this game if there isnt any out-of-battle catches or need to hide period --the tera raids being timed really doesnt feel good when you need to watch SO many animations and none of them are shortened or skippable. the boss tera’s, sometimes you have to tera, and while the throwing-ball at the end was clearly made with love...its long, and ive seen it a lot now --the difficulty spike from 4* raids to 5* raids (i havent done a 6*) was pretty insane without building an endgame pokemon specifically to take them on. also the fact that i cant invite my friends first and then open it up to strangers means you’re likely stuck with dumb npcs padding out your team --sandwich making is kinda clunky and the fact that the buffs are separated by type feels super arbitrary and just to pad out the system of “wow look at all these ingredients!!”
THE STORY AND WORLD
section score: 9/10 its a pokemon game so some cliche is expected, but this has been my favorite one since black and white. the only thing really dragging it down is that the world is not as open as it seems
++all three paths have solid foundations and i enjoyed experiencing them! ++all of the important npcs felt like real characters who had their own motivations and quirks ++i actually learned stuff in class and got to flunk my math midterm three times because i cant fucking read just like in real life! +7 points --the world is not as open as it wants to be. areas are hard-locked behind certain mount abilities (swimming, climbing) but you can. sort of get up cliffs by jumping backwards which is fucking hilarious --the OVERworld doesnt necessarily need to scale with player progression (its normal to have low level starter areas and high level endgame areas) BUT! the BOSSES should. i was reasonably leveled for my first few fights but then took on a boss 10+ levels higher than my team, which was a fun struggle! BUT. after that. i was ENOURMOUSLY over leveled for the REST OF THE GAME, and none of the fights were interesting or fun --the terastralizing gimmick was only used in an interesting way a handful of times (one earlier-level gym leader surprised me but that was about it) and could’ve had a lot more potential if the types weren’t so predictable. a fight you have after beating the league had me cautious of something that wouldve been amazing to see but never happened --almost none of the npc pokemon had held items...? or if they did, they didnt make a valuable contribution to the fight, which made most of them feel easy to steamroll --i also found very few useful held items in the wild, which isnt the biggest deal since you can buy them, but it was always nice to pick up something and be like oh hey yea i can use this! without specifically going to the store. maybe ive explored the wrong areas tho idk --there are too many shops. have a clothing store in each city, yes, but do not put every piece of your outfit into a different store. no fucking store sells ONLY socks and NOTHING ELSE. same goes for the sandwich shops --there are too many buildings. you dont even go inside any of them, not even the fashion shops, so why have a loading screen just to pop up a menu? have an npc outside show you a ‘catalogue’ and pick from there --there isnt a way to mark npcs you want to revisit on your map, ex the friendship checker or that one guy you trade pokemon parts to so you can get amarouge or ceruledge. i have to look them up every time --the pokemon dropping materials is nice and adds immersion that each line drops a specific item, but it just adds to unnecessary bag bloat. ive made maybe seven tms in my 80 hours of playtime and havent sold any materials because i dont want to scroll through them all
and the kicker... THE PERFORMANCE
section score: 1/10 this is abysmal. it makes me physically ill.
++the coop bugs are kind of funny thats the only reason this has a Single Point and isnt a 0 --the lag. THE LAG BRO. everything lags. the game, every menu, the pokedex, starting a battle, EVERYTHING --it cant keep a steady 30fps at the best of times --the frame drops and slowdowns are frequent, distracting, and honestly nauseating at times. i can only play in handheld mode --the camera clips through EVERYTHING how did this get through playtesting --my game has crashed three times. once while i was walking away from a pokecenter, a second when trying to connect to a friends world, and the third while eating a sandwich. this is the only switch game in my recent memory to have ever crashed completely --the memory leak when the game runs for more than a few hours. --people are FALLING THROUGH THE FLOOR. --the world fucking deloads itself sometimes when i throw a pokeball. yea that video of the psyduck by the bridge is real, its happened to me several times
so now.......here we are at the end of things. first, heres stuff i would fix to make it a perfect 10/10 mainline pokemon game
add shiny sound/sparkle back
make health bars display 100% of the time in battle
move the profile/trainer card and pokedex options back to the main menu
let players lock the minimap rotation
bosses have proper level scaling
make the names in the pokedex not sideways
tweaks to the movement of your ride mon
animation upgrades, both in the overworld and for cutscenes
minor adjustments to the animation timings in tera raids, making shorter versions of them to combat the timer anxiety
complete overhaul of the lets go feature
performance upgrades. god let this game cook for another year at least
and i think thats everything. this game is clearly unfinished and the product of the ruthless development cycle, and ultimately it was way too ambitious for the time and manpower they had. its extremely sad that theres such promise under all of the glaringly unpolished features. if this game had at least some of the fixes i specified above, i would feel confident rating this as my favorite pokemon game since black and white or legends arceus
however. as of right now, with the game the way it is, this is my final score
POKEMON SCARLET AND VIOLET FINAL RATING: 6/10
#kintalk#warning this post is LONG#and it has a lot of salty sadness in it#just please remember these disappointments come from a place of love#this game couldve been absolutely everything we all wanted#but crunch and holidays and corporate interests always bare their fangs somehow#im hopeful for a patch before the dlc theyre supposedly working on#but that hope is sort of...i dunno. its not a lot of hope thats for sure#anyway thanks for coming to my tedtalk i guess#is there something i missed?? maybe!#tell me if you think of something
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Prompt: “You don’t have Christmas plans, so why not come home with me?”
Requested by: @jaskiershoe
Pairing: Greg Lestrade x Gen!Neutral Reader
Taglist: @sharinkashaf
Triggers: None Words: 1,313
As you showed up for work, you started setting up your desk to begin working. Noticing the mail in your bag you forgot you had picked up, you looked through it as you sat down at your desk. Stopping on an envelope from your parents.
Opening it up you smile at the cute Christmas card inside. Opening it, you read the handwritten note from your parents; feeling a sense of guilt and sadness as they expressed their disappointment that you could not make it home for Christmas this year.
With lack of funds and the workload that came up, you had to tell them you were unable to make it. You really wanted too, but had no way to get around it. You knew they understood, but felt guilty for not being able to return home.
As you read over the card again, you had failed to notice Greg walk over and stop in front of your desk. He watched you for a moment, seeing the sadness on your face as you read the card in your hand.
“Bad news?” he asked, gaining your attention.
You jumped slightly at the sudden voice breaking you from your thoughts. Looking up at Greg it took you a second before you processed what he had asked “Oh, uh, no, just a card from my parents. They’re just sad that I can’t make it home this year for Christmas”
“Oh, I’m sorry about that.” he commented, with sincerity in his voice “Why don’t you request time off? I’d be happy to give you some?”
You smiled at him “I appreciate it, but I’ve used almost all my vacation days; and besides, I cant afford the trip home this year.” Greg nodded his head in understanding, seemingly also getting lost in thought for a moment “Uh, so anyways, did you need something?” you asked, changing the subject.
“Oh, I just wanted to check in on that case-files you are working on”
“I’ve completed the Market case-file, it’s on your desk; and I’m hoping to finish the others today”
“Good good” he commented “Back to work we go then” he jokingly commented before he left your desk, heading to his office.
You watched as he walked away; your thoughts momentarily distracted as you focused on the heavy beating of your heart. You silently chastised yourself for the feelings you had for your boss before trying to get back to work. You were colleagues, and friends; nothing else.
A couple hours passed as you sat at your desk working when your phone buzzed. Looking down you read the text;
Greg: ‘Are you busy?’
You felt your heart jump at the text before pushing the feeling away; it was business; it’s always business.
You: ‘Just doing some paperwork, why?’
A moment passed before you received a reply.
Greg: ‘Come see me in my office; I need to ask you something’
You: ‘Alright, be there in a minute’
As you rose from your desk and made your way to his office, you wondered what he needed to ask that he couldn’t do it over text.
Entering into his office; you smiled at each other before you sat down “What’s up?”
Greg seemed to study you for a moment before he cleared his throat “What are you doing on Christmas, since you can’t go back home?”
You were a little thrown off from the question before wondering if he had work for you “I have no plans; I thought I might just stay at home; do you need me to do something for work?”
“No no” he replied quickly “Ehh, I was just wondering..that is; since you don’t have any Christmas plans, why don’t you come home with me?”
You rose your brow at the same time he corrected himself “That came out weird. What I mean is, I don’t have any plans either; and I thought maybe we could get drinks or something; maybe get some food. It’s never any fun being alone on Christmas”
As the surprise at his question settled you wondered why he was asking you, out of pity? You smiled “You don’t have to feel bad for me Greg-”
“Oh no, it’s nothing like that I just mean...we’re friends right?”
“Oh, uh, yeah, we are”
“But we hardly ever hang out outside of work except with the other members of the team. I just thought you might want some company, but if not then that’s fine”
“I’d love to” you replied quickly “It sounds like fun” you smiled at him.
He returned your smile “Good, great; we can make a day out of it.”
- - -
After having made plans with Greg; you had remained nervous all the way leading up to Christmas. You and Greg had spent Christmas Eve with Sherlock, John, Molly and Mrs. Hudson; but what you would do the day of Christmas still remained unknown to you. But you knew you would meet up at a cafe that morning for some cocoa or coffee.
When you did meet up, Greg greeted you with a hug, and a ‘Merry Christmas’ before you both sat down to have a nice breakfast together.
After eating you both made your way to a Christmas festival in town; spending most of your day walking around and enjoying the festivities. The day seemed to go by quickly before you went to a market to buy some food before heading to Greg’s house.
Once you arrived, you set the mood with some Christmas music before you started to cook yourselves some dinner. The whole day, you couldn’t help but feel like it was one long date. So you constantly had to remind yourself that you were just friends.
After dinner, you sat around a fire talking and laughing about past stories and Christmas dinners with family and the pertaining drama. As you took a drink, Greg sat up “I think it’s time for your present”
You were shocked by the sudden announcement “What? Greg you didn’t have to get me anything”
“What?” he called from another room “It’s Christmas, of course I did”
He came back in with a small wrapped package, but you held up your hand “Well, if you insist”
He cocked his brow as you grabbed your bag, reaching in and pulling out a wrapped present. Greg chuckled as you smiled “Well, we think alike then huh?” he asked as he gave you your present, and you handed him his.
You smiled at each other as you opened your presents. Your smiled widening when you unwrapped a nice leather journal paired with a fancy ball-point pen. You realized that Greg must have noticed how full your previous journal l had gotten.
Greg opened his with a laugh as he unwrapped the nice monogrammed cuff-links you had gotten him. Knowing that he had recently lost his.
“This is so nice Greg thank you”
“And thank you very much, these are much nicer than the ones I lost.’
“Well you better not lose those” you laughed.
“I promise” he said with a chuckle while raising his hand up.
After sitting for a little while longer, you decided it was time to leave, the night having gotten much darker as the snow began to fall.
As you put on your coat at the front door, Greg came and stood in front of you “One more thing”
You met his eyes, yours filled with curiosity as Greg smiled and pointed up. Looking up to see what he was pointing at; your heart skipped a beat when your eyes landed on a bundle of mistletoe hanging just above the door frame.
As you looked back at Greg you were caught off guard when he suddenly reached out, pulling you towards him, and pressing a kiss to your lips. Melting into the kiss for a moment before you both pulled away. Greg met your eyes and grinned “Merry Christmas Y/n.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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#greg lestrade#bbc sherlock#lestrade#greg lestrade x reader#sherlock#lestrade x reader#bbc sherlock x reader#sherlock x reader#greg lestrade oneshot#greg lestrade one shot#oneshot#one shot#christmas oneshot#2020 christmas#lestrade oneshot#lestrade one shot#bbc sherlock oneshot#bbc sherlock one shot#bbc sherlock christmas oneshot#sherlock oneshot#sherlock one shot#christmas sherlock#christmas one shot#greg lestrade/reader#lestrade/reader#gender neutral reader insert#bbc sherlock reader insert#sherlock reader insert
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The Ties That Bind 17 of ???
I collapsed languidly into the bath, more thankful than I could say that Elanor had started preparing it when I landed at the Keep. A bath, a change of clothes, and moment to feel like myself was the best welcome home I could have possibly asked for. The only way it might have at all been improved on was if I’d had time to wash my hair. A solid week since we’d left for the Mistari. Maybe more. The days were all starting to blur together, and their accumulated grime clung to me. If only the weight of everything else that had happened in those days could be so easily lifted.
Elanor sat behind me, working scented powders through my hair. The familiarity of the ritual soothed me even more than the heat of the blessedly still warm tub. How many hours had we passed like this, talking and gossiping, her fingers working on my hair or with a needle, her words working on the threads of my thoughts.
“You are a wonder, Elanor. There are no words.”
She laughed and scratched at my scalp, earning her a soft murmur of appreciation.
“I’m still your lady in waiting. And that’s all I’ve doing these past few days. Waiting.”
She said the last with a not so subtle hint in her tone. I joined in her laugh, feeling better about things than I had in days. Talks with Elanor had a way to making everything seem less dire.
“I’m sorry you’ve been kept out of the loop, dear friend. You’re right; there is much to talk about.”
I closed my eyes and drew a deep breath through my nose, trying to gather my thoughts. The soft scents of the water made me sleepy; we’d tried many herbs and flowers of the years in attempts to soothe away my bad dreams. I wondered now if our attempts had only ever succeeded in keeping me asleep, locking me in my nightmares rather than banishing them. I still hadn’t quite come to terms with my apparent sleeping through Zane Cobriana flying madly up to my room those few nights ago.
Nor with my best friend doing said flying.
“I still cant’ believe you snuck Zane up into my room,” I muttered, sinking lower into the bath. “Isn’t that treason or something?”
Elanor’s fingers stilled. I rolled my face up to look at her, shocked to see the dismay on her face.
“Elanor! Elanor, I’m kidding!” I reached to take one of her hands in mine, sloshing water. “Please, it was a joke. I’m not angry. Without you...”
There was no way to know what events might or might not have been set in motion. Perhaps Zane would have been mad enough to scale the Keep walls by hand--or more sensibly, surrender himself like his sister Irene had. I had no doubt Zane would have found a way, so determined he was to end this war. Determined enough to marry himself off to a hawk. My toes curled at the thought. I pushed them aside and focused on my distressed friend.
“We’re all going to have to do drastic things to end this war. Mad things. I’m not angry with you. Just... surprised.”
The look Elanor gave me was so full of grief it took my breath away. It looked so alien on the familiar avian face. It looked too much like Zane, and Adelina, as they’d grieved over the loss of Gregory.
“Dani, you have no idea how scared I was. Zane... he’s very charismatic, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.”
I nodded, my expression caught between a laugh and a wince. Charismatic seemed an understatement.
“It just all seemed so reasonable, with my aunts’ story of his convalescing in their home, and his words about how you’d tried to work things out at the Mistari, and if he could just see you--“
She cut off, shaking her head. “It feels so stupid now, after the fact. You’re right; it was treasonous. It scares me to know that I could do such a thing. To anyone, let alone to you, Dani. I... I just can’t believe.”
I squeezed her hand, wishing I hadn’t started this conversation while I was in the bath. I wanted to put an arm around her, reassure her that she was still one of my dearest friends. Instead I lay there wet and naked and awkward, wondering how to offer comfort. In times of hurt or grief, I would sing. But to the best of my knowledge, there was no lullaby or ballad for revolutionaries.
“Zane spoke to me of Fate,” I said slowly, trying to see the words before they came out of my mouth. I was going on instinct, and as I’d learned recently, that could sometimes just make things worse.
“He told me Fate brought him to your aunts’ house, and I believe he’s right. Maybe what possessed you wasn’t serpent wiles, but the gears of something larger than any of us.”
I gave up on decorum and decided I wanted out of this tub. “Help me dry off, and let me fill you in on all you’ve missed.” Brightening, I remembered a particular bit of gossip that would certainly lift her mood. “And you can give me some advice on how to proceed with Rei--now that we’ve kissed.”
He girlish squeal was exactly the effect I’d hoped for, and my bubbly, dreamy, daring Elanor was back. I told her of Rei backing me before my mother and all but naming himself my alastair, of the rush and confusion of our first kiss, how badly I wished I hadn’t made such a decision now, with the serpiente en route for peace talks.
“I’m sure that’s what urged his hand,” Elanor said as she did up the laces at my back. Nearly all of my formal gowns had laces for the demi-wings of my third form. “What with Zane galloping in on a big black horse and asking for your hand.”
“He didn’t ask for my hand,” I shot back, already tired of quelling that rumor before it had even properly circulated. “The Mistari suggested it as an option. Zane and I haven’t had a chance to discuss anything else.”
Elanor snorted but I didn’t let her voice whatever goading point she was about to make.
“Did you know he gave that horse to your aunts? His and Adelina’s. ‘For all the trouble’, apparently.”
Elanor gasped. “That’s-- those horses must be worth a fortune! Gods, and probably cost a fortune to upkeep. Do you think he’ll be offended if they sell them?”
I shrugged. “I have no idea?” Slyly, I added, “Why don’t you ask him when he gets here?”
We lost ourselves in giddy laughter, needing the release. It was so good to laugh with Elanor while she dressed me for the assembly. Almost good enough to distract me from my nerves.
Of course, my mother coming in to strategize about said assembly pretty undid it all that in a matter of seconds. - Sitting in my ante room, ignoring the tea that Elanor poured before quietly retreating, my mother and I were getting no where.
“You can’t be mad about this, mother. You’re the one who pulled us from the neutral lands we’d already agreed to meet on. What other options were exactly left for us? You made it clear you wouldn’t tolerate us camping in the woods.”
“Danica-- you know why-- that isn’t the point. The point is what exactly do you plan to do with him now. Here. In the heart of your kingdom?”
I resisted the urge to rub at my temples. Instead, I allowed myself a different breech of decorum: honestly speaking my mind.
“I wish all this had happened after I’d taken the throne.”
My mother sighed and nodded. “Agreed. Things would be so much simpler if Rei was already your alastair. Then maybe the Disa might have suggested something useful--or at least something less offensive.” It was my turn to sigh.
“Mother, Zane is a perfectly fine gentlemen--“
“He’s a serpent--“
“Who has not once raised a hand against me. Do you understand that, mother? The sheer number of times he could have ended my life by now--“
“That is hardly reassuring, Shardae.”
I grit my teeth. What I wanted to do was scream. What I did was take another careful breath.
“I need you to back me on this, mother. We need to present a united front, one that is in control and unafraid. If we’re seen to flinch around the serpiente, this will never work. The citizenry will panic and the Keep will be bathed in blood in a matter of moments.”
It was one of our most sacred tennets that blood never be spilled within the Keep. Even meat was prepared off the grounds and brought in, to keep the heart of our kingdom free of death. It was at the foundation of our wards, and utterly unthinkable that anyone would dare break the taboo within its walls.
Just as unthinkable as a cobra marrying a hawk.
My mother straightened, and I could almost see her pulling her reserve back into place around herself.
“Of course. We will do whatever it takes to keep our halls secure.”
Hardly a reassuring phrasing, but it would have to do.
“So. What are your plans for introducing this visiting dignitary to your court?”
The Ties That Bind Tag list: @thehellinsideyourhead @therecouldbecolorsandlove @adventuresofacreesty @writing-with-melon @rainydaydarling @faithfire
Raev’s Gen Tag List (should I tag you guys in this? It IS a thing I wrote. I’m gonna say yes unless you guys are like “no of course not we’re sick of hearing about your stupid fic for a twenty year old book XD)
No one has complained yet so yall gonna keep getting tagged :P
List is currently: @lordkingsmith @writinglyra @drbibliophile @mperialscribe @adie-dee @lexiklecksi @theramwrites @writinginslowmotion @raenawrites @apollon-arium @anika-writes @faithfire @thehellinsideyourhead @adventuresofacreesty
#raev does fic#hawksong fic#the ties that bind fic#the kiesha'ra#kiesha'ra fic#my writing#danica shardae#zane cobriana#anderios#hawksong
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Dazai n chuuya have such a fun dynamic its really a shame to bury their dialog under 'dazai insults n chuuya takes it'. Lke writing their dialogs was the most fun i had when working on the fic, i maneged to get such a good tone for dazai going (though i later rewatched dark era n realized i made him a tad too like hus adult self instead of bis teen self dgdgf mistakes were made). Like Dazai is smart and quick witted so its fun to write a lot more imaginative insults for him n then have chuuya rebuke with 'fuck you bastard ill kick your ass', like chuuya is never as creative with his insults and does a lot of reacting but he does in fact react n not just go :/ damn this sucks. Like they hate each other but they have that strong trust between them that cant be based on one side dishing out insults and the other taking them. At least in combat sense they have good communication and work as an effective pair. I do think they have a bit more problems communicating their feelings properly because i think dazai would be overexpressive and dramatic and chuuya would instinctivly react to it and it would take them a bit to like really get in sync. But also if you are talking about after dazai left mafia, their communication would probably be a little more strained at the begining but they really feel like the sort of pair that just very naturaly slides back into an old dynamic.
Idk i just think theres a lot of different ways to explore chuuya n dazai communicating to each other then fandom does n oh gosh now i feel like ill have to reread bungou again because ur getting me back into soukoku and i need to refresh myself on dazai without the angy at the writing glasses
Me: im gonna get into bsd again just to write chuuya gen fics
You: soukoku dynamic so fun tho
Me: omg it is tho
Fuckin sucker
Pfft. Soukoku just sucks you in with it’s potential (and then you mourn how many fics you just aren’t interested in reading because the way someone interprets their dynamic goes against they way you interpret it).
And yes! Chuuya never takes Dazai’s insults, he always reacts in some way, either by cursing him out or trying to hit him. He always rises to them and doesn’t let Dazai have the last word (in a sense), or at least lets him know that he won’t sit back and take his jabs silently (...Though Chuuya, baby, you need to work on your comebacks) so it’s so weird to see Chuuya so submission in some stories.
Especially if Dazai says something that would truly upset him. Chuuya would definitely make his anger clear (and it would be a lot different from his normal reactive anger to Dazai’s comments, it would probably be something dark that he usually directs at his enemies who have hurt his men).
Soukoku’s communication skills still manage to impress me everytime I watch their teamup episodes because it’s incredible to see how much these two trust each other in battle despite being on other sides. Dazai trusts Chuuya to protect him from attacks and Chuuya trusts Dazai enough to come up with the most effective attack stratergies. And then there’s the use of corruption that completely relies on the two of them to trust one another, or at least for Chuuya to trust Dazai.
Which is why I can understand your disappointment with Dazai after that activation of corruption with how he left Chuuya in the middle of the field and didn’t take him to the extraction point like he asked. I have a theory why Dazai did that but I’ll discuss that in your second ask because you bring it up in that and I don’t want to repeat myself XD
Dazai’s and Chuuya’s dynamic is just so interesting to explore T-T
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BNHA AU Ideas: Bamn! And the kid is 4
Also on AO3!
TL;DR: Izuku gets hits by a de-aging quirk and it turns out hes always been super cute.
izuku gets hit w a de-aging quirk back to like,, age 5-8
angst + fluff + dads happens
izuku, iida, bakugo, kiri and all might are getting groceries
not a great team for shopping but its like, just post internship pre cultural festival so its no a disaster
all might is there to make sure they dont do something stupid or get lost. he was kinda hesitant to go with them because he cant protect them anymore but they are little heroes! so they should be ok, right?
w r o n g
the villain attacks katsuki just outside the store, the only one of them that doesnt have a licence, izuku takes a hit for him and he and iida quickly take the villain down while kiri protects the bystanders
then izuku collapses and bakugo is ready to yell because if izuku takes one more hit for someone hes going to be the hit
all might runs over because even though its still dangerous he has a hero license (bc it hasnt been cancled yet because no one wanted to be the person to do it) and thats his s o n. iida is calling the people he should be calling
all might finds just, this tiny tiny green freckly mess in izuku's oversize clothing and he wants to cuss up a storm because FUCk hes liKe 6
bakugo runs over because all might looks like hes going to cry and hes not ready for that today and he sees this horrifically familiar face. he he does swear.
izuku looks so lost but he sees bakugo and he lights up!!
"kacchan!! youre so tall wow!!! so coool!!!"
and bakugo is going to scream bc f u c k hes so annoying and adorable. bakugo tells izuku that he is normally his age but got hit with a quirk that made him small and hes!! so excited!!
hes rambling about how cool the quirk is and wondering how long it lasts and how it works and allmight is just shell shocked still
"young bakugo, should we tell his mother?"
",,, inko is in america chasing down her husband to divorce him. i dont think she needs this shit right now"
"understandable"
kiri comes over bc whats happening? and he shrieks a little and hugs izuku
izuku is very lost but hes giggling bc kacchan's cool friend likes him, so maybe kacchan likes him now! bakugo is like "fuck why do i feel emotions thats wack"
so iida, having just reported what happened and now on the phone to aizawa walks over to tell aizawa everyones status. he and sees izuku and goes dead silent
"iida?? iida whats wrong?"
",,, hes,,, so s m a l l "
"wAiT WhAt"
"like,,, shrunk?????????"
"no sensei like,,, hes 5"
just a loud "F UUCK" as aizawa hangs up to run over
ok but they are all awkwardly buying the food bc they really need to get food, tiny izuku or no
and so izuku is with bakugo and allmight while the others do the worlds fastest grocery run
and izuku asks all might "mr? is your quirk being really tall? because thats super cool if it is!!" and bakugo is dying because what the fuck does all might say to that
"no my boy, im actually quirkless!"
"oh,, sorry sir"
"why are you sorry?"
"i dont know, but thats what everyone says to me when i tell them so i think its bad?"
and he just mumbles
"kacchan said i could play with him again if i got my quirk but i never did. do i get my quirk now? is that why we have cool friends??!"
and bakugo is going to cry bc all might looks so sad and he cant deal with that
so iida and kiri have bought all the crap and they are waiting out from with this tiny bubbly kid who they have to hold hands with or he Will run off to go look at stuff
aizawa shows up in the school car (,,, driven by mic because he cant fucking drive) and izuku is like OH HI
and aizawa is like ",,, hello?"
and izuku sees mic too and he thinks for a few seconds
"are,,, you two the new heroes that just started? from that really cool sports festival!!! i heard you from my preschool!!"
and bakugo is cackling be he fucking remembers that
and aizawa is red and nods and mic is like TINY CHILD WHO ARE YOU because aizawa didnt tell him what was going on
izuku is like "hi im midoriya izuku! please call me izuku!!" and mic is crying bc??? baby boy??
so they get an update ab the villain, apparently the quirk lasts for 2 weeks and allmight is caught between happy bc Tiny and sad bc My Boy??? he says how long it lasts and katsuki groans loudly
"bakugo?"
'AUntIEs iN aMEricA For 3 WeEKs"
"shit"
in the car all might has to hold him because aizawa didnt think this through and there isnt a child seat, so izuku is playing with all mights fringe because its long enough to be in his face and allmight is cry bc its his boy!!!!
they are up front because iida and katsuki need to talk to aizawa about whatever is going down with izuku. kiri is just there for moral support honestly, he is still pretty lost
izuku is asking present mic all these questions about his quirk ands all might is legitimately impressed at the control mic has because h looks like hes 30 seconds from bursting into a screech of joy at this tiny boy but his voice is just a little louder than normal
mic is singing a song in english
and izuku says "thats a rude song! my mum said so!" in perfectly understandable English and katsuki l a u gh hs
"I WAS WAITING FOR HIM TO SLIP UP HAHA"
and mic, cackling bc hes worked it out had to pull over for a sec
all might is red because hes been swearing in english the whole time oops
aizawa is like "Um????? whats happening"
katsuki, through tears : this little shit has known english his whole life but he didnt want more english homework so he just pretended he didnt through middle school and forgot to admit he could when we started UA
izuku looks lost bc what did he do?? mic is saying sorry to this tiny child for singing a rude song, iida is ab to have a stroke
mic and izuku chat about mics quirk in english happily and they pull up to ua and izuku is like wAIT WHAT. bakugo is cringing bc howwww do they explain this
present mic and aizawa, 0 clue what going on "its UA. you go to school here."
"oh, did i get into gen ed? is that why kacchan is my friend again?!!"
"youre in the hero course with me, brat"
and izuku looks upset and aizawa is lost because what kid cries when they are told they get to be a hero
"dont be mean, its rude to lie"
"why would i lie?"
when izuku says hes quirkless bakugo and all might look like someone kicked them
aizawa is like "wait,, quirkless?" and izuku looks at him confused because evryone knows izuku is quirkless
"yeah,, i have the toe thing-y."
and the kids face crumples
"does this mean i cant go into UA now??"
mic picks up the kid before he can start to cry and says "of course not! i bet youd be a great hero, quirk or not!!"
aizawa and mic are giving all might and Bakugo a Look because they look so sheepish
kiri and iida are lost because izuku Very Much has a quirk, it explodes him
all might all but pushes everyone through the gate and aizawa and mic are just staring at him because they Know hes not spilling something
anyway, eri comes to visit!! bc izuku is small!!
she calls him deku and izuku looks sad bc kacchan only calls him deku when hes mad at him and izuku just whispers "you can call me izuku please?" and eri is like "YES IZUKU HI IM ERI HELLO"
izuku is very happy
hes still like, wearing a shirt dress basically so aizawa gets momo, who has a little quiet "HES SO SMALLL" scream in the cupboard, then pops out to make him a onesie. izuku asking if it can be allmight and momo is like “OF COURSE IT CAN YOU LITTLE MUNCHKIN ID DIE FOR YOU”
izuku gets this massive fuzzy onesie and hes like !!!” yourequirkissocoolallmightiloveitsoftthaNKYOU”
momo just hugs him because hes so tiny and cute oh my lord
eri and izuku play heroes!! eri is lemillion and izuku is all might and they are defeating the great villain Kirishima
kiri wasnt warned he was the villain. he just has these kids yeeting on to him and hes so lost
all might and bakugo are trying to make a child sized dinner. they are working together bc if they pretend they are doing something important maybe aizawa wont kill them
aizawa is just,,, glaring at them. he hasnt moved from the corner of the kitchen. bakugo is getting nervous, all might is trying not to spit blood into the food
its like, 4pm? and izuku and eri are sleepy but they are Big Kids so they dont need to nap. all might and bakugo are trying to finish the food before they fall asleep bc god damn it they worked for this
aizawa is trying not to smile but they are so goddamn cute. izuku is cheering because they made katsudon
"kacchan how did you know this was my favourite!! youre so coooolllL!!!!"
bakugo, suddenly feeling crushing guilt: yeah,, im,,, awesome
aizawa is like, walking slowly towards all might and hes scrambling to think of something to spare him from his wrath
bakugo : OH YAGI WERENT YOU ALL MIGHTS SECRATARY
izuku, crying: OH MY GOD
yagi, crying also : thankyou bakugo i owe you my life
izuku is asking so many questions aizawa has to remind him to breathe
please tiny izuku is very fond of aizawa but no one has any idea why bc the dude is scary
"eraserhead sir, when can i see my mum?"
aizawa, suddenly wishing he had kurogiri's quirk: ",,,,you seee"
ok but like, just for a little pain
"it'll be like a sleep over, ok kid?"
"you really want me to stay? most kids wont let me even play for a little while, so no one sleeps over. i can stay home without my mum if you want! i dont wanna bug you,,,"
aizawa, feeling a rush of fondness for this terrible child "no its ok, stay here. youre a good kid"
baby izuku clumsily braiding aizawas hair bc his mum taught him
consider: baby izuku and shinso
baby izuku is on a need to know basis bc there is a traitor somewhere. shinso is just minding his own business and runs into a giggling curly boy
and hes like ",,, who are you???"
"im izuku!!!"
shinso just looking at him and groans
"of course its you. its always you"
he picks up izuku and takes him to aiawa. izuku is patting his hair happily
"i found the gremlin"
"hi eraserhead!!!"
"thank god
izuku makes him help with his hero notes because he doesnt know kanji yet. izuku is just telling him what to do while shinso does as hes told, trying not to smile
#bnha au#bnha#mha#midoriya izuku#midoriya#kid midoriya#deku#katsuki bakugou#bakugo#shinsou hitoshi#shinsou#aizawa shouta#aizawa#eraserhead#allmight#present mic#bnha eri#eri#kirishima eijirou#iida tenya#the kid is 4 au
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Day 1 - Reserve
Written for @the-hinata-project
Prompt: Reserve Course Student Hinata
Rating: G
Warnings: Lowkey manipulation and insecurity, but other than that, not much.
Notes: Alright, so I’m still in the middle of these, but like... Here’s the first one! They’re all going to be pretty short, around 2K but I’m gonna do my best to finish all of them so wish me luck...! And this first fic is gen. No ships. Next ones won’t be so gen. It’s also pre-HPA. Kind of.
***Alternate Ao3 Link***
Commission? Donate?
The last wish he made on New Year’s was a simple one.
I want to get into Hope’s Peak.
But of course that would never happen.
“Can’t you dream more realistically, Hajime? Do you have any idea how expensive Hope’s Peak actually is? We can’t afford that.”
“I... I know that, but...”
“If you know then why are you burdening us with this? Please. Just think about other people besides yourself for once.”
“...sorry.”
His mother sighs, but ruffles his hair in a show of affection.
“You current high school isn’t so bad, right? You can make good friends here, and it’s a fine school.”
“I guess it’s...decent,” he mumbles.
“Just don’t even worry about Hope’s Peak anymore,” she tells him. “It’s impossible, and it can’t be helped. Keep your chin up. Okay?”
“...fine...”
Because he knew, after all, that she had a point. They couldn’t afford it. And he wasn’t talented. It was a pipe dream to attend. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Still...
--
For his birthday, he was given a new laptop to replace the old. It was a fairly recent model. Pretty expensive. Likely compensation. He can’t say he didn’t like it.
He wasn’t ungrateful. He doesn’t think so.
It’s just that I admire Hope’s Peak more than anything.
So much so that he finds himself on the forums first thing.
>Does anyone have any idea who’s going to be in the upcoming batch?
>They haven’t finished scouting, right? Oh, but I just saw on the news that an actual princess was accepted! Hope’s Peak really can get in anyone!
>Wow, actual royalty?!
>There’s this photographer I follow. She’s getting in, too, I’m pretty sure.
>I just saw Saionji Hiyoko-san’s performance last week. I’m positive she’s getting in.
>I’m more interested in the princess. Can you imagine how lucky it would be to meet an actual princess?
>>They’ll be running the lottery in a month or so. What I would give to have more of a chance...
>Wow, they’re doing that again?
>With how much getting into the reserve course costs, you probably have a better chance with the lottery...
>But if you win the lottery, you’re actually considered talented. Reserves are just...y’know, reserves.
>But you’ll get to meet the princess, potentially. I think the money’s worth it, even if all I can do is steal a glance!
>Still... Seems so lame that you can just pay your way in...
>But brand name recognition is pretty powerful...
>>I heard you can actually get into the main course from the reserve course if you do well enough.
>No way! That’s a pipe dream! Maybe if you paid like, twice as much!
>Must be nice to be rich, huh...
Hinata stares, wondering what to type, but also letting the thoughts swirl around in his head.
>>I would do anything to get into Hope’s Peak. But my family just can’t afford that.
>Yeah, mine neither. Who actually can?
>You’d be surprised... They’re getting a lot of enrollments.
>You can’t like...get a scholarship or anything? It’s not like you need to go to college after attending Hope’s Peak.
>Well the golden gates can’t open that wide, I suppose...
>It’s for the best. If just about anyone could get in, it wouldn’t be that special.
Hinata bites his lip, picking at the peeling skin with his teeth.
>>Still. I want to get in more than anything.
>If you aren’t talented, it can’t be helped.
>>I would give anything.
>Pffft. No kidding. I’d give an arm and a leg, probably.
>>I would give anything.
>A lot of people would.
>You’re like a super fan, huh. Well, I am, too, but still...
>>Getting into Hope’s Peak has always been my dream.
>Everyone wants to be special, man.
>But if everyone was special then no one would be special.
>It can’t be helped. You’re either born talented or you aren’t.
>Right?! I must have spent hours drawing but there was always that one person I could just never compare to. It’s hopeless!
>You shouldn’t say hopeless on the Hope’s Peak forums!
>Haha, sorry!
>>I’ve never been talented. There’s not one thing I’m particularly good at.
>Normie...
>>But I want to get into Hope’s Peak Academy... More than anything.
>Give it up. For your own good. Wishing for the impossible isn’t healthy.
>Hey, don’t tell him that! What if he ends up winning the lottery?
>Yeah, right!
>>I’m not particularly lucky, either.
>Luck’s not a talent anyway.
>Are you sure? I’ve known people who get ridiculously lucky while gambling...
>If they gamble too much, that luck’s bound to run out. And I bet they’re not that lucky, they just brag a lot.
>That might be true... Still it would be nice just to get into Hope’s Peak by chance...
>Whoever wins that lottery probably is ridiculously lucky considering how many people are participating. We’re talking like, every high school student in their first year in the country.
>Sucks to be other countries, huh.
>Maybe someday but for now, I like not having that much competition.
>Still a ridiculous amount competing...
>I bet it’ll be someone who can afford the reserve course if they haven’t already enrolled.
>No fair! That kind of thing should disqualify you immediately!
>>I just...want to get in...
>Yeah we all do. But it’s impossible.
>Impossible.
>Totally impossible.
>Pigs will fly first.
>I heard some Ultimates actually can make some crazy shit. We might see flying pigs pretty soon.
>That’s terrifying.
>>I just want to get in.
>You should get offline.
He should. He really, really should.
Is it really impossible?
“Of course it is,” he can practically hear them murmur. “Not only are you untalented, you can’t afford it! And you’re going to win the lottery, either!”
Hinata buries his face into his hands, shuddering.
I just... I just...
--
To his surprise, he later receives a DM. Shivering, he clicks it open.
>Would you really do anything for Hope’s Peak?
He doesn’t recognize the name of the sender but...it looks official.
>>Yes. Of course. Why?
>There actually is a program you can sign up for that will get you in without having to pay a coin.
Hinata blinked once. Twice.
It’s way too good to be true.
But he’s desperate. Beyond desperate.
>>What is this program? How can I sign up?
>Here’s the information.
--
What he’s about to do is how people get themselves abducted, he’s pretty sure. But right now, he’s desperate and... If it really was someone associated with Hope’s Peak, how bad can it be? What’s the worse than can happen?
I already have no chance getting in. I know that... But...
His heart was pounding as he took the train. He stared out the window, at HPA’s towering buildings in the distance, getting closer and closer, and he sucks in his breath.
It’s so shining that it hurts to look at.
Shining like a dream...
--
“Ah, Hinata-kun, you made it after all. So you have the necessary information?”
“Uh... Yes...” Truth be told, he didn’t understand most of it. There were a lot of words that were hard to read and pretty...advanced. “I just...well you said you couldn’t explain everything in just files, so...”
The other looked pretty professional. Sharply dressed and smiling in a way that at least seemed pretty welcoming. But...still pretty intimidating, considering the circumstances. Hinata ducked his head, feeling rather flustered.
“Yes, it’s meant to be kept very tightly under wraps, you see,” they laugh. “I need to assure confidentiality before explaining, Hinata-kun. Surely you understand.”
That’s...weird.
But it made his blood thrum with excitement to be a part of.
“I... Y-Yes, of course. Absolutely... Of course...”
“Sign this form, then, promising that.”
“O-Of course...!”
He scribbles down his signature without a second thought. The other smiled more, pleased. Hinata squirmed in his seat, and tried to keep his posture straight.
With that, the other sat across from him, polite and yet...expectant.
Ah... Hah...
“So you’re willing to do anything for this school,” they say, voice almost light but also dense with significance. “Might I ask why?”
“It’s...as I said on the forums,” Hinata mumbles, fiddling with his tie. Even dressed professionally for this would-be interview, he feels underdressed. “I’ve always admired this school. Always. It’s always been my dream to...to go there...”
The other nods, expression unchanged.
“And why do you wish so badly to go there, despite not having a talent that can be cultivated?”
Hinata flinched.
“T-That’s...! I...” He hesitates, but he soon finds the words just spilling out. “I just want to be someone I can be proud of. Someone who can stand tall. Be confident. Be significant. Isn’t that what I deserve?”
“Isn’t that what everyone deserves?”
Hinata’s nails dig into his palms.
“I admire Hope’s Peak...more than anyone. I will give whatever I can...and then more than that...if I have to.” His teeth grit. “Whatever it takes... W-Whatever it takes...!”
Even though I know it’s selfish and impossible, I just...!
He just wanted to be someone. Someone other than...this.
Unimportant. Unremarkable. A faceless, meaningless part of the mass. The idea of being consumed by mediocrity and insignificance for the rest of his life, never to matter, never to even be remembered, just to disappear, just like he never even existed—
“I’ll do...w-whatever...it takes...” He’s shaking, eyes wide and crazed. “Whatever it takes... Whatever I can...and then more than that...if I have to.”
“Ah. I see.” An easy smile. And yet, the atmosphere felt so heavy that it was near suffocating. “Very well then, Hinata-kun. That’s exactly the kind of attitude we’re looking for.”
Hinata lit up.
“R-Really?” He dares to let hope slip into his tone. “D-Do you really mean it?”
A nod.
“Hinata-kun... If you could be reborn from the faceless body of a miserable nobody into the world’s hope... Would you?”
“That...sounds too good to be true...” His heart really was racing, but he was flushed with excitement. “But... Y-Yeah... I... Of course...”
“Then, allow me to tell you about how that can be possible. If you agree, you’ll be accepted into the school, free of charge, no talent necessary. In fact, it’s even essential that you be talentless.”
I...don’t understand.
He doesn’t understand but it just sounds so incredible that he can’t help but be swayed.
“...tell me.”
“Very well.”
A folder of files is placed before him. They look too important to grasp. And the stamped out letters of CONFIDENTIAL stare back into his wide-eyed, shimmering gaze.
Fingers trembling, Hinata actually slices his finger open as he flips it open.
He doesn’t even feel the sting, as engrossed as he is in the text.
“I...”
The words swirl around in his head, over and over until he drowns in them.
“Do you need time to think about it?” the other asks him kindly. So kindly that Hinata is struck cold. “Tell you what... You can still get into the reserve course. You don’t have to say yes right away, and the deadline will be in a few months from now. You can attend classes here until then...and then make your decision on whether or not you’re willing to stay. Okay?”
“I... O-Okay.” Hinata swallows. “That’s... I’m okay with that.”
I said I’d do anything. And I do...want to do anything. But...
His hands are shaking while still gripping the files.
I can’t...let this chance slip by...even if it’s something like this. This is everything I ever wanted. Why am I even hesitating?
“It’s alright,” the other says reassuringly, taking the files away with ease. “Hinata-kun, I know you’ll make the best decision for yourself.”
For...myself. Myself...
“I...yes.”
“I’ll have them send in your acceptance letter and uniform.” His hand is shook, the grip warm and calloused. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Hinata-kun.”
“A-A pleasure... Yeah.”
Just like that, Hinata was stumbling out of Hope’s Peak, trembling and falling to pieces with every shaky step.
I have to do it, he can’t help but think. I have to do it, for...for myself...
This was going to be the year his life changed irreparably. He was sure of it.
#thehinataproject#hajime hinata#hinata hajime#Magi fics#the hinata project#although it's not going to show up#I might as well#I'll probably have to message someone anyway#The tragedy of being muted
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How incorrect tagging contributes to SPN ship wars
@radioabsurd left this very impassioned rant about the behavior of SPN fandom in the main tags. Let me point out that there are things here, that I would say are correct. There are things however, that I am not happy with. I am not certain about this person's sincerely. Let me put it that way. I edited bits that contained blasphemy because I don't want that nonsense in my post. I also added bold font to the bits that made me smirk. Other than that, everything is as it appears. My commentary is in italics and brackets. Thank to doll face for forwarding this to me.
Supernatural Fandom
If you hate the actual angel Jensen Ackles, don’t talk to me, like my shit or any of that.
[A polite suggestion for people to ignore her]
If you hate the actual angel Misha Collins, fuck off and don’t talk to me or like my shit.
[Disrespecting Misha warrant the use of profanity.]
If you hate on the actual angel Jared Padalecki, please block me or you will get blocked.
[A please is thrown in, so the politeness is back. Also, note the order in which these actors are mentioned. Any other person would mention Misha last. But no, Jared gets last place, like an afterthought.]
I’m so tired of this hate people give each other in the fandom with the ship wars and shit.
[Honey, I would like to point out that all the hate, especially the violent ones directed to the actors, comes solely from the destiel shippers. Everyone else retaliates.]
I FUCKING ship #destiel and #cockles, but in no way do I think J2 are not important to each other. They are the bestest of friends. In no way do I hate on Daneel, Vicki, or Gen(They are all actually queens).
[Well, at least you agree that the Js friendship is hated on by the Misha shippers. The wife hate is a landmine. Do people hate the wives because they ship the boys or because they genuinely found nothing to like in the wives? I don't really care much for an actor's relatives. But if the boys are happy, whatever rocks their boats. Besides, who they marry is not my business. Out of sight. Out of mind. If I like them, I would have no reason to go overboard and call them 'queens'. But that is just my opinion on the subject. Julia Roberts was never called a queen, despite her success. Just pointing that out. Do I think they deserve any hate? I don't know them well enough to answer that one. But if you put yourself out there, you are going to get the bad attention with the good. As long as the hate doesn't extend to death threats, I say freedom of speech. Just tag it appropriately.]
Even If I don’t ship #wincest I’m not going to FUCKING hate on somebody for their ship because guess what! I FUCKING ship #thorki and #t'cherik and wow I must be such a disgusting human being but these are freaking fictional characters and aren’t real! (Not talking about real people ships)
[This seems friendly enough until you get to the second mention of this topic.]
If you don’t agree with something please FUCKING get over it and block it or ignore it.
[You should see the replies I get, from hellers I call out of tagging incorrectly. They don't block or ignore.]
Jeez, and all the ships hate on the wives and the other people on the show, not just one ship. XXXX, why am I even in this fandom.
[I concur. There are haters of ships and people. But unless you go into their appropriate tags, you will never find them. Guess who tags all their hateful filth, including calling Jensen a homophobe, in the main tags? Yep, the destihellers.]
Also, if I get freaking hate on shipping #thorki (they’re not even real brothers okay, get over it) or #t'cherik (in the comics theyre not cousins thank you very much) and your in the supernatural fandom then your actually the problem.
[I don't know how to tell you this, but Sam and Dean are not real brothers either. They are fictional. So basically, in an offhanded manner, you have kind of insulted the people, you are telling others not to insult. Just thought I would point that out.]
haters get on my nerves 👌🏽
[You are absolutely right. I cant stand them either. Especially the ones who tell Jared to kill himself and threaten to kill Jensen. All destihellers. I don't deal with haters as much. Because I believe it is your prerogative to hate whoever you want. As long as you tag it properly. But I draw the line at death threats, because the hate has moved into malevolent territory. That is why I don't go onto the anti tags. Let them hate. But when possible felony becomes an issue, I speak up.]
(there might be spelling errors but that’s life so what eves)
[True! My typing is atrocious.]
My issue with this rant:
I appreciate the effort. Don't get me wrong. But there are issues presenting themselves here. This rant is addressed to the entire fandom. The problem is that is doesn't differentiate between the instigators and the retaliators. There is an assumption, within the rant, that everyone should like the same things in the same manner without personal opinion or prejudice. And to be honest, that kind of uniformity in human psychology, is unheard of in human societies. We are all different. We cannot be expected to enthusiastically love anyone or anything unless we have been given viable reason to. The other baffling thing on this post is the anti Vicki tag. Interestingly, there is no other post with this tag. As far as I can see, nobody hates Victoria. People are generally quite indifferent towards her.
So you are basically giving fandom and onlookers the impression that this woman gets hated when, in reality, she doesn't even force a blimp in the radar. The only time I saw her being discussed, was when I watched in bemused amazement , as J2 tinhats were comparing her to one of the Js wives and talking about how much more nicer she was and how they respected her more. So those particular J fans don't hate Victoria. Do Misha's fans hate her? If so, how are they tagging their hate. I haven't seen anything.
You post makes no mention of actor harassment, cast and crew harassment, threats of arson and vandalism and actual attacks on fans by other fans. There is a different between someone saying ''I cant stand Vicky'' and ''I am going to burn Vicky's home down, while she is still in it''. A similar arson threat was sent to Jensen by a Misha fan. Receipts for this, and other threats, are on my blog. To my logic, death threats are a more pressing issue than hate. All of the aforementioned are by destiel shipping and Misha stanning perpetrators. To people who are not aware of this reality, if they read this post, they will assume that everyone in the fandom is hateful. They won't know about the truth. So no, all the shippers do not have an equal hand in trouble making. There are some that are worse than others.
Finally, your tagging is contradictory and troublesome. Tumblr recognizes 30 tags only, but the most effective are the first five. For a post of this nature, you shouldn't have tagged Danneel twice. Danneel has fans from her other endeavors. like One Tree Hill, who are not SPN fans. They don't need to see this drama, which has nothing to do with them. So that tag is a general/main tag and you should stay out of it. The last two tags are for ships outside our fandom, and basically what you have done, by including those tags, is exposed outsiders to the dirty laundry that this fandom is known for. This is where SPN's faulty reputation comes from. ''Mentions'' is also a very widely used external tag. It has not an SPN related tag, neither is it related to this post. Tagging this post under that tag, also brings this fandom into disrepute. The tags on this post, does this fandom no favors.
The post is not a hate post, [you are reprimanding all and sundry over putrid behavior] and therefore does not belong in the anti tags. If you are trying to right the wrongs of this fandom, do it in the main ship tags, for the whole shipping section of fandom to see. You cant tell people how to feel about someone. And posting this particular rant in the anti tags, is essentially you telling those people not to hate whoever they genuinely cant stand. If you are talking about a ship, tag the ship. If you tag your post #anti Jensen, you are telling people, this post is about why I hate Jensen. That is the point of that tag. That is not exactly what your post is about, is it? Now I tag in the main tags, and not in the anti tags because I tackle any subject that is going to cause a death threat to reach Jensen. That is the policy behind my tagging system. Your tagging system doesn't seem to make sense. You cant tag Jensen and anti Jensen. These two tags contradict each other.
Don't tag the characters on a TV show, because that is not what your post is about. People who are non-shipping fans of Dean Winchester, don't want to be bombarded with this shipping-related rant. This is not courteous to them. Also, if you misspell a tag, the tag has consequently been rendered useless. So there is essentially no point in having that tag. Just replace or remove it. Its not that hard. Also, I don't think you know what a bibro is. There are non-shippers amongst them. So why are they a part of this ship-war rant? You can't tag SPN or Supernatural, because the entire fandom doesn't need to see this. The entire fandom are not shippers. You were not addressing the entire fandom, so leave them out of it. In fact, your title is incorrect too.
Judging by the crux of your post, the tags should have been:
Destiel, Wincest, Cockles, J2 Tinhats, Wincestiel
All the ship names are present. So anyone who is involved with these ships will read them and understand. If you want to add more tags [which I don't recommend] then add the following:
Sabriel, sastiel
I would tag these two ships because they are ships that three actors are a part of. I don't recommend tagging the actor's names, because the post is not about them, but about shipper behavior. They are merely mentioned as the motivation behind the hate, by your logic. Their names are still general tags, and people searching Jared Padalecki might hate shipping and this post will give credulity to their hatred because it is invasive and makes shippers looks bad....well, worse would be the apt word to use.
I am conflicted about the motive of the rant. No, I don't believe any of the actors are ''actual angels''. They are human and flawed, some more than others. I don't think their wives of sovereign control of anything. But I appreciate the effort in bridge-building. The doll face that sent me this, found the wincest remark offensive, but I am willing to give your the benefit of the doubt on that one, because I assume it was an honest mistake. I am not a wincest fan though, which I why I am reacting a little differently. Perhaps, because I am not emotionally invested.
P.S.: Speaking of wincest, someone told me that even wincest ship posts are being tagged with the actor's and character's names. I don't care what you ship, but by using general tags, you are not driving on your lane. Stop mistagging. Unless Jared Padalecki is really pregnant with someone's lovechild, don't tag him in an mpreg post. I don't think he wants people knowing about his baby bump. Tag politely. Tags like Top!Sam and Bottom!Cas are NOT general tags, so that is ok. But Sam Winchester and Jared Padalecki, for example, are general tags, so keep your shippy stuff away from it. Wincest fans, its your job to clean house.
The reason why I am lenient with the wincest ship and J2 tinhatters, is because they are not repeat and frequent offenders, and they don't send death threats to actors. In fact, if you search the wincest tag, you find a small handful of offenders, and a destiel offender who tagged her post weecest and wincest even though it was about destiel. Now, why do that?
Respect the tags. Respect the actors. Stop behaving like SPN owes you something, and keep your fantasy on your side of the fandom.
Please excuse the typos.
#misha#jensen ackles#destiel#cockles#jenmish#jensen and misha#deancas#casdean#dean x castiel#castiel#cas#bi dean#dean is bi#dean and cas#jenmisheel#dean winchester#destiel headcanon#jdvm#misha collins#sam winchester#sam and dean#jensen and jared#wincest#supernatural#jared padalecki#padackles#performing dean#sabriel#sammy winchester#j2
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So I'm going to start identifying myself as aspec. Previously I identified as a bisexual aromantic but upon furthur consideration I might be asexual.
I'm posting about this b/c 1) it puts it out there and makes the lable feel more real and tangible
2) I know some of y'all IRL or on a personal enough basis that I feel you should know
3) A queers need more visibilty in gen
4) cause I want to talk abouy it
So Idk how to do a read more and am on mobile so if you dont want to hear about what being aspec means to me start scrolling now
So. In the aspec community (do we have a better word?) theres an overwhelming discourse about sexual and romantic repulsion. For those of you who dont know thats when the idea of sex , sexual content, sex itself, the idea of romance, romantic gestures, and/or romantic content acts as a squick for you it creates some spectrum of a revulsion in you to be confronted with one or more of these things. Its an overwhelming discourse for many reasons but the one I want to talk about is that it makes it obvious that your ace or aro if your repulsed by sex or romance. The process for discovering your aspec identity is easier in a way, specifically in a way it isnt for me.
See I dont experience sexual or romantic repulsion. I like romance stories and porn. I actively seek these things out. I'm not put off by discussions of others romantic or sexual lives (specific aspects may repulse me but in general I'm interested in these especially when coming from people I care about). So naturally as a teenager I never considered myself as aspec. i considered myself bisexual almost immediatly (there was a thing where I thought I was tricking myself into thinking I liked women to be included in the queer community. More on that later) it took two very short very middle school esque (one took place my sophmore year) relationships and an accidental internet encounter with the concept of aromantisim for me to realise that the reason this wasnt working for me was because I didnt really want it.
The more I thought of myself as aro the more things made sense. At the slumber parties as a kid I never had a crush to confess. Those two failed relationshios? Guy friends I'd gotten real close to and thought my new stronger friendship feelings must be what romantic attraction feels like. Also the real sticker, I dont get jealousy in romance at all. Like that one goes over my head. I dont understand why cheating is the worst thing someone can do in a relationship to the point that people who've been sucked into a cycle of abuse and have become convinced everything is their fault will snap when they discover they were cheated on. That is absolutly mind boggling for me.
The point of that is I never got that ew ick romance feeling. As a reult the road to discovering I was aromantic was long and and full of doubt. Doubt that went along the lines of "Maybe I just havent found the right person". Which also happens to be the exact thing my mum says to me everytime I try to explain that Im aromantic to her. Bisexuality she understands and accepts. This she doesnt. So even though I know intellectually theres no right person for me that niggling doubt remains andit haunts me.
Now im going to devolve a bit here and I know what this sounds like but im seriously not trying to be offensive just explain something
See I read a fanfic recently. I dont remeber how I found it but it was a Stony fic and the story and the set up were very romantic cliche. Basically Steve was Tony's booty call it evolves to friends with benefits Steve falls in love. Textbook stuff. But see theres a wrench because the author identifies as aromantic is with the definition we have aromantic. They write their identity onto Tony. Thats something we do in fanfic and in writing. But the problem I ran into is this: the author identifies as aromantic because they experience romantic repulsion(yes they told me this) so in the fic Tony is in love with Steve but experiences romantic repulsion. The idea of romance of romantic commitment makes him anxious and sick. This is how the author feels FWB allows them to experience intimacy without triggering their repulsion. Identifying as atomantic makes them feel not broken. This so good right? This is why we have labels
Except. When I read this part of the story it hurt me. Directly. See Tong Stark has Daddy Issues. Ehen the author wrote about Tony's romantic repulsion narritevly they tied it into Tony's not nice childhood. I dont know specifically why it wasnt part of thwir explanation when I told them their story hurt me. I didnt ask. But this narritive decision made what was essentially was an author expressing their experience as an aromantic in a story feel like a personal attack against my aromantic identity.
See when I read that what I read was "Tony Stark cant commit to an actual relationship with Steve Rogers because Howard Starks Grade A parenting fucked up his ability to recieve expressions of love and his ability to commit. Tony Stark is in romantic love with Steve Rogers but his childhood trauma prevents him from expresing it in the traditional manner this is what being aromantic is"
That hurt. Because it hit that little doubt in my head about not having met the "right person" and mixed it up with some childhood trauma made you a broken person. It also hit me while I felt safe. Romance stories are my escapism. Their like an extra element of fantasy in a story for me. I specifically seek out romantic stories as a comforting mechanism. Fanfics in particular because of their inclusivity. I was in my safe space, and I was whammed in a sore spot.
The problem is though the author has a right to that story and that label and to express themselves. We usually draw the line at self expression where it hurts other people but thats not what happened here. What happened here was definitial confusion. The author and I were using "aromantic" to describe two different but similar romantic orientations. In doing so we hurt each other ironically in the same way. We both said to each other "Your identity is wrong and toxic you hurt people and yourself by expressing it the way you do". (I left a comment saying how her story affected me)
When I say I'm aromantic I mean I experience no romantic feelings. None nada zilch. The idea that I might one day experience a type of romantic feeling is an aggression against me. The same way the idea that gay people can choose to be straight is an aggression against being gay.
But I can't invalidate someone else to protect myself. What do I do? I dont want to hurt myself and I dont want to hurt other people? Idk
And now to why I no longer identify as bisexual.
I'm a virgin. Because most peoples first time is with someone their in a romantic relationship with. And we'll I dont do that. Im also a socially anxious person. I have no idea how to instogate a sexual encounter and honeslty I wouldnt feel comftorable dping it with someone I couldnt trust or alternatively someone I'm friends with and would have to continue being juat friends with in post we had sex awkwardness. So ive never had an opportunity to have sex.
But I also havent sought them out. And I dont feel particularly driven to. These are reasons to think your asexual but I'm sure it's also the experience of many introverted and secually awkawrd people. And it's not like I couldnt have sex at some future point. Even now if an opportunity arose I might say yes, of only to confirm my asexuality.
The thing that has made me actually consider if I'm ace tho is a weird quirk of mine. I cant get off to prom videos. I use lit erotica. Why? Cause the idea that those are real live people puts me off. Porn stars and amateur porn makers know people get off watching their videos. Theyre okay with that. But I'm not. At all. Thats a big ol nope for me.
See I'm a ciswoman. Which means I have a clitoris. An organ whose only purpose is to provide pleasure. As everyone knows reciving pleasure via the clit requires no participation by a second person. The fact that my clitiros functions as intended and that I use it isnt sexual attraction.
Thats a new idea for me. But it's true isnt it? Sexual attraction is about other people. And sure I can appreciate other people's hotness. But just because I think a horse is pretty doesnt mean I want to fuck it. Remeber that thing about thinking I was faking bisexuality?? I was right. I wasnt sexually attracted to women. But what I hadnt bothered to consider because of heteronormativity was that I wasnt sexually attracted to men either.
Other fun fact in case you might be an ace person who's read this far (why? Also hi Katie and possibly Sadie but definelty Nishat. No im not implying any of you are ace) I dont have sex dreams. But I do have dreams in which I masturbate. So stick that jn your pipe and smoke it.
Anyways these are all experinces that I have that I feel neccessry to share to make it so the repulsion story isnt the only one out there. And also to start a discourse about how experiencing and not experiencing repulsion affect aspec experience. Thanks for reading!
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What's the Two Looker theory?
the tldr version is that there are currently two lookers existing in the same universe, and that its going to be very relevant very soon.
but of course, that shortened version is worthless, because who would believe that without enthusiastic and lengthy elaboration? GET YOUR SEATBELTS ON CAUSE ITS TIME TO TALK POKEMON THEORY
(spoiler warning for sumo postgame ahead! also, seriously, you might want to go get a snack or something. this is long. really long.)
first up: you gotta know that gens 1-5 (and the remakes in those gens) are all in a separate but similar universe to the one in gen 6 and beyond. for convenience, ill call the first universe uni a and the second one uni b.
(fyi most people refer to uni b as megaverse, but i want the names to match and nonmegaverse doesnt really... roll off the tongue quite as well, so,)
so you might be wondering what the fuck that means and how we know its true; to answer this we need to take a quick look at pokemons current timeline!
im unsure on which one of them came before the other in the timeline, but xy and oras both happen chronologically before sun and moon do. we know this because of dexio and sina appearing with the zygarde and mega evolution stuff, and wally appears at the battle tree as an older and more experienced trainer.
these are canon, however for right now its mostly just hypothesis that chronologically speaking, after alola its sinnoh. the pkmn breeders from alola look IDENTICAL to the cowgirls/farmers from sinnoh, which doesnt seem to prove much about the order of things but it doesnt disprove anything either; its more like retrospective icing on the cake, since ill be explaining why i think this will be the timeline later on.
so, keep the idea of sinnoh coming after alola in mind. its also important to consider the idea of mega evolution as not just a game mechanic but an important plot point! basically, universe a has no mega evolution, while universe b does, and the differences in the plot between rse and oras are NOT retcons; theyre entirely different universes!
that might not look like it makes much sense on its own (without elaboration or if youre still attached to the belief that mega evo is JUST a game mechanic and not plot relevant or an indicator of anything) but its important to mention now, since as i explain more itll hopefully make more and more sense.
believing this theory means you have to think about it like this, so while this isnt completely canon yet, its necessary to treat it like it is until you fully understand what this theory is all about and why it would make sense. if youre not convinced afterwards, then so be it! ... i mean, i dont understand how you WOULDNT be totally on board with this, but im not you and maybe youre not quite nearly as into spacetime shenanigans as i am.
now we head into sumos postgame stuff with the interpol! during this, we learn that there are people known as “fallers” that “fell” into a universe from another parallel universe through a mysterious portal, and seem to have lost most if not all of their memories. fallers attract ultra beasts, as the ubs believe they can somehow get home using them, sensing that this person is also not from this universe.
looker explains that he was once sent on a mission to detain/kill an ultra beast. his team included a faller, who was unwittingly being used as bait for the ultra beast. looker felt pity for the ub and neglected to kill it, unfortunately giving the ub a chance to kill the faller, which it promptly took.
then its revealed that anabel is a faller, who was found washed up on a beach muttering something about protecting the battle tower, which is where you could find her in rse.
but see, the battle tower doesnt exist in oras, instead replaced by the battle resort, and you do not meet anabel at any point in oras. the battle resort is also where you meet an amnesiac looker, muttering about a mission, speaking in a peculiar way, which is noticeably different to the way he speaks in xy and sumo. he did not make an appearance in rse, this isnt just reused dialogue.
hmmmmmmmm.
lets put looker aside for a moment though and focus on anabel. while theres a possibility that right now there are two anabels, it seems that she and the battle tower never existed in this universe... but mega evolution does. the anabel we see in rse is the same as the one in sumo; she crossed over from uni a into uni b.
now, lets look at some facts here!
in platinum, bw and oras, looker has a... peculiar speech pattern. if you look up his quotes on bulbapedia, youll see what i mean; its very noticeable.
... looker completely lacks that specific quirk in xy and sumo. hes goofy, yes, but its nowhere near the same. its important to note that oras happens between xy and sumo, and again, that looker didnt show up in rse and that dialogue is completely new. the differences in these speaking patterns are not mistakes. they are fully intentional.
next up: lets crush a few doubts about this theory you might be having right now!
“this is a kids game! surely this is WAY too convoluted. pokemon isnt that deep, they wouldnt bother with a plot this complicated.” wrong. nope. incorrect. buddy, did you play sumo or any gen 5 game? i can only assume you havent, cause not only were the plots in those games the most detailed and involved and emotional, they were BY FAR the best. additionally, kids are a lot smarter than youd think, and i also not only know theyre going to explain everything, i know HOW theyll do it; but i digress.
“youre implying there are two lookers because one speaks a certain way and had amnesia but isnt it possible theres just one, who either isnt a faller or is a faller but had no megaverse/uni b equivalent, and he got his memories back by the time you meet him in sumo?” wrong there too! remember, its CANON that xy and oras happen BEFORE sumo.
now remember anabel, who doesnt have her memories back and had no idea she was a faller.
and remember that xy/sumo looker is very, very explicitly stated to not be a faller, because otherwise, HE would have been the bait on that mission and HE would have been the one who got killed.
xy/sumo looker is definitely not a faller.
but dppt/bw/oras looker is.
if at this point youre still having doubts, heres a question. can you offer any other explanation that is all based on canon information, without retconning anything or making something up, and have it all make perfect sense and resolve all of the issues that come with going against this theory?
yeah, i cant either.
hopefully at this point you should be fairly convinced, but hold on! i still havent explained why i think sumo will chronologically happen before the plot in the dppt remakes! i was all like “this will make sense later” but i didnt talk about sinnoh much at all and havent completely gotten you on board with this yet! well guess what yall ITS SINNOH TIME
a quick note though: past this point is a lot of personal observation/opinion and speculation. its meant to explain why i think this theory is spot-on, and elaborate on what i think is going to happen. im not speaking for anyone else but myself and im not stating my own opinions as fact or concrete proof; though i am saying that i think im right about this.
with that out of the way, lets begin! its going to take a while, but the buildup is necessary (imo at least) and yes, this is in fact relevant to the theory.
something to notice is that the stories in pokemon games have been progressively getting more involved and interesting. there was hardly anything in the first two, gen 3 started getting more involved but its not much to write home about, gen 4 took it up a notch, and then gen 5 the life ruiner broke the fucking scale and punched me in the face.
so, we have all these plots, getting more detailed, but... not a whole lot is tying them together at first. sure, a few lines make reference to other games, johto and kanto are connected both plotwise and literally speaking, theres even that cameo character in bw who was a rocket grunt in a previous game! but theres nothing really significant that ties things together.
well, at least until gen 4.
in gen 4, we of course meet looker, who as a member of the interpol has reason to make further appearances in other games. and then he shows up in every game afterwards, sometimes for a while, sometimes only briefly. less significantly but it does help the point im about to make, we also get caitlins first appearance, who ends up being part of unovas elite 4, and johto is a part of gen 4 as well, which was already a point of connection between regions, but gen 4 added the sinjoh ruins, connecting the games within the same gen!
after gen 4, the games vary in how much they connect to the others, but it definitely changed the standard.
and then sun and moon came out.
even the very start of the game: you move from kanto to alola, meet alolan variations of kantonian pokemon, meet grimsley and colress from bw/bw2, meet dexio and sina from xy, and watch sadly as lillie breaks everyones heart and leaves for kanto.
then, after that, you can go to the battle tree and meet not only red and green, but cynthia, steven, and wally, and you can find grimsley, colress, dexio and sina here too. or, you can go participate in the postgame plot with looker and anabel, who are also returning characters; though anabel is significantly more unexpected than looker. it was pretty unexpected finding out caitlin was part of unovas elite four, huh?
and hey, didnt sinnoh have a lot of weird space/time shit? palkia and dialga are the gods of time and space, and giratina has a whole other dimension where everything seems wrong and alien and mildly uncomfortable, with a strange area theme that seems just slightly off, where you meet/battle the games biggest antagonist, who has become mentally unhinged by spending time there.
oh... and alola has fallers and ultra beasts, who came from other timelines/universes... and you go into ultra space, which is a whole other dimension where everything seems wrong and alien and mildly uncomfortable, with a strange area theme that seems just slightly off, where you meet/battle the games biggest antagonist, who has become mentally unhinged by spending time there.
plus, gen 4 is the first where you can at any point walk around with your pokemon behind you, making you feel closer to your pokemon than ever, and alola shows a significantly stronger connection between humans and pokemon than ever seen before, even compared to xys introduction of pokemon amie (the trials, ride pokemon, the fact that humans are specifically stated to have influenced several alolan variations, z moves, the ceremony for choosing your starter, everything about the aether foundation/type: null, if you consider ultra beasts pokemon then lusamines a very literal example, there are LOADS of examples)
... and diamond and pearl are next up for remakes.
in gen 7.
paired with alola.
i wonder if the two games are going to be EXTREMELY connected?
personally im willing to bet that the distortion world IS ultra space, i think itd make a lot of sense of cyrus knew what happened in alola and became interested because of it, and that team galactic will be pursuing ultra beasts (which there will likely be more of).
i also think uni a!looker and uni b!looker are going to meet.
imagine with me for a moment.
diamond and pearl remakes come out. you enter jubilife city, where you meet looker! you have a conversation, he introduces himself, then disappears.
you move on, and-- oh! theres looker again! you say hello, but he strangely doesnt recognize you and introduces himself again. ... odd.
you see him again. he recognizes you and references your first conversation, but doesnt seem to know anything about your second.
a fourth meeting. once again, he doesnt remember your previous conversation, and also seems to be doing something entirely different, and... hell, he doesnt even SOUND the same...
now, after a while of this, hes realizing somethings up. hes a fucking member of the interpol, hes goofy but hes not an idiot. he guesses that he has an impostor, and begins searching for this impostor so he can confront/apprehend them.
sometime later, maybe in the postgame, maybe in the maingame, you meet him again and have a short chat, when hes suddenly interrupted by a phone call. he hangs up and informs you that someone spotted his impostor, and speeds off to go deal with this. he doesnt tell you where hes going, but he didnt need to; you can easily guess from the phone call that you should head to jubilife city.
there, you see two lookers arguing with each other, and loads of shenanigans ensue because looker is so goofy and endearing theres no way its not going to be hilarious and silly at first; but then when everything calms down, shit gets serious, and anabel ends up showing up.
im willing to bet shes going to feel some kind of connection to uni a!looker; nothing specific, just an odd, unidentifiable feeling that... ah, it eludes her. strange indeed that he seems to also feel... something, that he cant identify at all; he just knows its there. is it... kinship of some kind? but that wouldnt make sense, theyre both certain theyve never met, and theyre certainly not related. how curious!
of course, that only remains a mystery until they figure out this other looker is a faller, and everything starts simultaneously making more and less sense.
of course thats all just my own prediction for how itll happen, but i dont think im far off base at all and i think itd be completely in line with both lookers character and how pokemon games operate.
now, a lot of people believe that this theory means one of the lookers has to die, and to that i say what. no. look, that “there can be only one” shit is completely unnecessary and i REALLY doubt that theyre going to kill off a looker, especially considering how much everyones grown to like him (or at least everyone ive ever spoken to who knows who he is. seriously, hes too lovable for this.)
instead, i think the following will happen!
1) the lookers partner up and work together (and tell people theyre just twins)
2) they find a way to send uni a!looker back to universe a, or somehow create a way to communicate/travel between universes
3) we learn more about what happened in universe a, and why both anabel and looker were mumbling vague things about urgent missions when they were found washed up on beaches
im not sure that all of these will happen in the same game (in fact i highly doubt it) but it seems like the logical progression of things.
i think im out of things to say so there you go! thats the two looker theory and how i think itll play out in canon! there are likely a few things im missing, but im fairly certain the information i provided isnt incorrect, just possibly incomplete (sure hope not though cause ive been writing this response for no joke four hours straight). hope it helped and also converted you to the two looker theory club, or the tltc. if you join you get a free croagunk sticker and also a heart-shaped locket with a picture of looker in it if you dont already have your own
#txt#pkmn#pokemon#pokemon theory#long post#like super fucking long#[INFODUMPS DIRRECTLY INTO KEYBOA#aquariantwin#asks
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The Will Of God
Chapter One
Need Versus Want
The word ‘will’ as defined by dictionaries takes the form of either a noun or a verb (action). In both cases, it expresses a desire of things to be, it resonates the wish or hope of what was, is, or is to be.
When we talk of ‘will’ in the Christian context, we are inevitably faced with the Christian’s ‘will’, and that of his or her God. We see that there are two ‘wills’ in question: God’s Will and Man’s Will. There comes a time when these two ‘wills’ collide and when they do, what will be the result? You may think that no one can thwart the ‘will’ of God and that the end result may just be academic but you will be surprised to know that if you persist in your ‘will’, God will step aside and second your motion. That’s the lesson I learnt from the story of Balaam and Balak in Numbers 22-24.
It weighs always in the mind of man to do what the ‘will’ of God is. We see this in the Garden of Eden before the fall of Adam and Eve. God had provided all things necessary for Man in the garden. Food, water, shelter and companionship, all of which are vital needs for man’s survival, even today. The world also acknowledges this truth based on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
Why did man fall in the garden? What changed? There are numerous opinions and thoughts published in books, journals and references. Even a simple Google search results in millions of entries on this topic. When needs are satisfied, wants yearn for what needs cannot fulfill. A simple illustration can be drawn from our eating habits – once our hunger is satisfied, we still continue to eat! “I cant help it, its so good!” is our excuse for the third and fourth helping of roast beef or toffee mud pie.
Adam and Eve did not have the need to be like God, but once their wants were enticed, they wanted to be like God (Gen 3:4-5). That’s the offer Satan tempted our parents many millennia ago and that offer is still being offered to us today. The Apostle John warns us of the lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes and pride of life (1 John 2:16) that echoes the fall of Man in the garden.
So, the want of Man is supplanted in our minds from birth and it is expressed in our thoughts as need. A teenager needs an iPhone, the middle age man needs a sports car with someone pretty in it, whilst the woman needs a tummy tuck or a face lift. Although these may sound trivial, such wants are disguised as needs in our choice of spouse, college, major, employment, and the list goes on.
Until Man realizes the true difference between want and need, he will forever question, “What is God’s Will in My Life”? The questions below have been asked and are still being asked by Christians:
“Does God want me to go to college”?
“What should I major in college”?
“Does He approve of my mate”?
“Should I quit my job and take another offer”?
“Should I use my life savings to invest in business”?
“Whom should I marry”?
When our wants turn into needs, we fool ourselves into believing that we are not adequate somehow, we are not fulfilled or complete until our wants are met. Living a contented life is tantamount to being seen as a failure, and a failure is the last thing we want to become or be labeled as.
Is it wrong to want something? No, it is not wrong because it is in the psyche of man to have wants. So, what’s the problem if want turns to need? Nothing! In some instances, this is God’s will, His way of leading you to the right space and time to experience His presence. However, there is a serious risk when our motives for wants are not aligned with the will of God. Once we are misaligned, we face a downward slippery slope, with each downward step spiraling us farther away from God and His truth. At the end, when we stand in the lowly pits looking up from where we once were, we have nothing to show but regrets and good intentions.
I am reminded of the incident during the time of King David when he decided to bring the Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem. The Ark was kept in the house of Abinadab for at least forty years before King David decided to re-locate it to Jerusalem. Abinadab’s son, Eleazar, was sanctified (set apart) and kept in charge of the ark. Forty years or so later, King David decided to bring the Ark to Jerusalem with much pomp and pageantry (2 Sam 6:1-5). Nothing was said about Eleazar when the Ark was moved, but the Scripture mentions two of Abinadab’s sons, Uzzah and Ahio as being the two individuals responsible for guiding the cart on which the Ark was placed.
During the transport, the mules stumbled and Uzzah touched the Ark to prevent it from falling off the cart. Even an irrational person can understand the good intention of Uzzah. However, God struck Uzzah down immediately because he handled something of God’s which he had no right to touch. Uzzah was not sanctified to touch the Ark of God. Although, one may argue that Uzzah’s motive was sincere in that he did not want the Ark to fall to the ground and be damaged, God (who knows the heart of man and justifies accordingly) judged it differently.
Uzzah, probably lived his entire life with the Ark housed in his family home, must have realized the need for holiness when dealing with the Ark of God. His brother Eleazar was sanctified to handle the Ark but he was not. Perhaps our wants may represent the best of our intentions for others and even to God, but we must be careful that our wants are clearly aligned with the will of God.
Chapter Two
Who Is God?
We started our discussion with two ‘wills’, i. e. God’s Will and Man’s Will. For us to understand the ‘will’ of God it is important for us to know who God was, is and continues to be. Often we see or know God in what I would call, ‘the preacher’s view of God’. This means that you know God as described by your preacher or an author or a YouTube evangelist. There is nothing wrong with investing in such a view so long as you trust the person who is describing God. But, the best way to know God is to find Him in Scripture. You will find more of God the Father in the Old Testament than the New Testament. Likewise, you will find more about God the Son (Jesus) in the New Testament when compared to the Old. The Holy Spirit or God the Spirit, is rather an unassuming personality found very much equally in both the Old and the New Testament.
It is only in the Christian faith do we find the relationship that exists within the triune God. The ‘will’ of each personality within the Trinity is perfect. There is none like this or ever will be. Many have tried to explain the Trinity, but it is faithful to say for our discussion here that the ‘will’ of the Father, the Son and Holy Spirit is one and it is in this unity that diversity is perfect, holy and pure. The Father’s Will was accomplished by the Son through the Holy Spirit. The work of the cross is an excellent example of the unity in diversity. The Trinity moves in the same direction with one mind. It is in this Triune God that love, justice, righteousness, and mercy reside. One cannot separate the existence of the Triune God into individual parts because they are inseparable. It is impossible even for the Triune God to separate themselves and label the Father as Righteous; the Son as Love and the Holy Spirit as Justice. All three persons of the godhead are equal.
So, when you ask, “What is God’s will in my life?” are you referring to the Triune God (all three), or just the Father or just the Son or just the Holy Spirit? Which God are you referring to when you want to do His will? Whose image are you thinking about when you make such a statement?
It is vital for each Christian to understand this and come to a realization that the ‘will’ of God is the ‘will’ of the Triune God. In order to be subject to the ‘will’ of the Triune God, you need (not want) to know who the Triune God is from Scripture. There is enough evidence in Scripture for one to know the Triune God and what He requires of each of us (individually) as well as from us (collectively). Agreeably, we cannot know everything about the Triune God as certain things are kept from us primarily because we do not possess sufficient brainpower to do so. But, we have more than sufficient information from Scripture to know and understand the Triune God in our life on this earth and on the new one.
I have often heard people say that the God of the Old Testament is not the God of the New Testament. It has been said when one compares the character, attributes and especially the conduct, one can come to the conclusion that the God described in the Old and New Testaments are not one and the same. As such, people disregard the Old Testament and hold on to the New Testament as God is described as love. Very rarely is God described in this way in the Old Testament.
This understanding is flawed because as Man we fail to understand the very ‘will’ of God. We are attracted to ideas and people who think the way we do and behave in a similar way as we do. As such, we tend to hold on to the imagery of the God of the New Testament as He is kind, gentle, warm, and loving that easily describes a cuddly bear. Any wonder why we relate to Jesus welcoming children to Himself as how a child is comforted by a stuffed teddy bear?
But, is your God a teddy bear? If you were to read the description of God the Son (Jesus Christ) in the Apostle John’s revelation, you would most definitely think otherwise! Perhaps it is for this reason that the Book of Revelations is not preached often enough in churches today.
The Triune God of the Old and New Testaments is one and the same. The message of the Old and New Testament is the same. The ‘will’ of the Triune God of the Old and New Testament is the very same. The Triune God is everything we ascribe Him to be but above all other things our Triune God is righteous. This is the message one gets when reading Genesis to Revelation. If you could sum who God is in one word from scripture, HE IS RIGHTEOUS!
The story of Adam, the story of Noah, of Abraham, the Israelites, the captivity, the return from captivity, the Messiah, the Cross, the Pentecost – all these start and end with the righteousness of God. A Triune God who has willed for the apex of His creation to be righteous. To stand righteous before God is no easy task. As mentioned in Isaiah, our righteousness is as pure as a filthy rag (the translators of our Bible took a politically correct word even in the 14th Century. In Hebrew, the direct translation for a filthy rag is a used sanitary napkin). That’s how righteous we are before God! The Adams, the Noahs and the Abrahams of this world stood dirty before God. If such men stood dirty before God, how about you and I? Even the good things we do out of the goodness of our hearts is impure, dirty and as the Apostle Paul worded it – dung! (Philippians 3: 7-8).
In the past century and especially in the last few decades, I have noted that many preaching from the pulpit evolved from talking about the righteousness of God to the grace of God. This evolution of thought has greatly hampered the truth of the gospel. There is no doubt the truth of God’s grace is required for all men, but it appears from the preaching, sharing, ministries, small groups, evangelism and even from contemporary Christian music, that God’s grace is all one needs to be God’s buddy! This is not what Scripture teaches as the means to come to God. Increasingly I see commercialism creeping into the gospel message. “Say the Sinner’s Prayer and you are saved” has become the slogan of twenty first Century Christian evangelism or dare I say, Christian marketing.
The question I often ask my listeners is this, “Do you know God, or rather, “Do you know of God”? For many, they do not realize the salient difference between knowing God and knowing of God. In a happy marriage, a husband knows his wife and a wife knows her husband. I know when my wife has been in the room because I know how she smells and how certain things gets re-arranged on the buffet table at home. More than that I know what makes her upset and what makes her happy. I know how she thinks and can even predict with certain accuracy how she would react to certain situations right down to the first line she will use and the expression on her face.
Is it any wonder why God uses marriage as an allegory when He talks about His relationship with His people?
You and I have been called by the gospel. One of the reasons why the Son of God became man is to share in man’s humanity. Otherwise we are hapless to find a suitable reflection, as it is impossible for us to match with God’s being and standards. Hence we are able to come to God through Jesus Christ, who is now our High Priest (Hebrews 10:12). It is not sufficient for us to know of God. To know of God is not a relationship, but an acquaintance. You know of Abdul or Josh who works on the third floor in Finance. However, you don’t know anything else about Abdul or Josh. Many Christians are having such a relationship with God. A one view of God and that is all He is. We, Christians, are hard pressed if we continue to have such a view of a relationship with God.
How is your relationship with the Triune God? Do you know Him? He is righteous and He wants you to be righteous. Apostle Paul in his defense before King Agrippa and Festus in Caesarea proclaimed that he preached three things: repentance, turning towards God and proof of repentance by works. The grace of God is only available when you and I have repented, turned towards God and produced fruits of our repentance. Until then, you and I are still locked in sin and stand before the King of Kings unrighteous clothed in our garment of filth.
Chapter Three
God’s Will
God’s will is two fold. Firstly, His will is Sovereign. This means that if He wills it, it is done. No power on earth, below it or above it can alter or change it. His covenants are His sovereign will. The Noahic covenant still exists today and I am assured with every rainbow that encircles the skies that the earth will not be destroyed by water ever again. This does not mean that the earth will not be destroyed, but it means that it will not be destroyed by water. The law of nature is His sovereign will. No man can change this - so much so that insurance companies have a disclaimer on damages caused by an act of God. When God wills in sovereignty, it is done. Period.
Secondly, God’s will is a command. A command He has made to you through Scripture. This will of God is for your benefit. It is God’s wish for you, but it is not wishful. It is a sure guarantee from God. But, the catch to His will is that it is not forced upon you. You have an option to either heed it or refuse it. It is there for the taking but the rest is on you. The Bible does not guide you through questions such as, “Should I go to college?” or “Is it God’s will for me to be single?” If you are looking for such guidance, you will be disappointed. You are better off talking to your parents or a career guidance counselor to make such decisions. The Apostle Paul exhorts Timothy that all Scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training for righteousness. The Bible is not a crystal ball that answers our questions of life (though there are some who do so perilously) but used wisely, it shows us to live righteously, which is the very will of God.
God’s will for you and I and for everyone is sanctification (1 Thessalonians 4:3). God requires us to be set apart from the rest. He needs us to be holy, putting away conduct and thought that bring ill repute to His Name. The goal of sanctification is righteousness and the goal of righteousness is glorification. Not that we are gloried, but our righteous living glorifies our Creator who willed us into being. We are the only creatures to bear His image. He is righteous and thus we, His creation, must bear that resemblance so that He may be glorified in what He has created. Are you currently reflecting His image in your life? Are you living in sin but asking for His will to be done in your life? You cannot live in sin and require God to show His will for you. His will is clear. Repent from your sin, bring forth the fruits of repentance and you will be in His will.
The Gospel of the Triune God is to lead His creation towards His righteousness. The cross is the very act of forgiveness towards all mankind. The blood of Christ now washes away our sins and places us in the center of His divine will for sanctification until the day Christ comes again. At that time Christ, like a shepherd, will call out to those who have been sanctified through Him and who had glorified Him on earth; to stand together and be presented to His father in glory. Are you ready?
As we study the Scriptures, we find that there are many do’s and don’ts both in the Old and New Testament. From Moses to the prophets and right down to the apostles, we can read the command-will of God. In all these commands, one can clearly identify that God wants His people to live a life separate from the rest. It is not segregation by God or willful exclusivity of our own, though someone looking from the outside may well derive at this conclusion of exclusivity or snobbery. However, when it is the will of God for every one of His creation to live as such, why is that labeled segregation or self-exclusivity? Would it not then be considered common or communal?
This is the problem in the world today. Because of rebellion, the world has decided to segregate itself from God. The world has drawn a line of self-exclusivity from God’s reign and will. This is exactly what the Apostle Paul talks about in his letter to the Roman Christians when describing the state of the world (Romans 2). The slippery slope that the world has entered is unable to pull itself up with its bootstrap and has doomed itself with its self-will. Hence, Paul says that God gave them up - washed His hands off the world for they had doomed themselves. The world has taken a look at the will of God and has scorned it. It smelt the will of God as the stench of a dying peasant. Who in their right mind would bet their lives on a dying man? God Did! What was foolish in the eyes of the world was wisdom to God. The God-Man Jesus Christ died on the cross so that through His blood all who call on His Name will be sanctified, albeit through faith. Jesus Christ was and still is the perfect will of God. He stood apart from the world, not in an aloof self-indignant kind of way, like what we see in some religious personages today, but He stood apart from the world, which was an attraction to many. He was different. He was odd. He did not fit the description of the Messiah who was foretold in the Scriptures. He did not have a kingdom, but He was King of All. He did not have a place to call His own, but without Him nothing could have been made. His coming in the turn of the first century was the anti-dote for mankind. He brought within Him the cure for the world’s malady. This is the good news (gospel) for mankind.
Jesus Christ called to Himself tens, hundreds, thousands and today millions of people who are attracted to Him to be set apart and made holy. True Christians are exclusive of the world because that is the intended outcome of God. It is much easier to hold on to the beliefs of the changing world. Every decade or so the world’s philosophy undergoes a shift, sometimes minor steps and at other times major leaps. But always, it moves away and against the command-will of God. New ideas and thoughts ravage the minds of people by modern philosophers of our time. The number of ‘isms’ and the syncretism of the isms in philosophy have depraved the mind of man. This is the result when the world-view steadily moves away from the view of God.
This is not a new phenomenon. It has been in existence since the days in the Garden. We clearly see this with the fall of Man, the first murder, the Tower of Babel, people of the times of Noah and right through to Greek philosophies. When Alexander the Great conquered the known world at his time, he left a lasting impression of the Greek mind that is felt to this day. The Greek influence in our thinking should not be taken lightly as they have influenced the Western world and through them, the rest of the world. Our love of sports, architecture, political framework and theology is largely framed around Greek thinking.
This influence was great in the early church and the Apostles John and Paul wrote against such influence in the first century church. Paul’s letter to the church in Corinth corrects such behavior and Jesus’ instruction to the seven churches in Asia Minor as written by John echo the need to turn away from such influences. The same has to be said of today. Churches are pressured both by the congregation and the State to conform to the will of society. As Christians, we must be particular to the point of being peculiar. In upholding the command-will of God, we cannot embrace all the thoughts and actions of the world. In actual fact, Christians are not called upon to be politically correct. We are required to call a spade, a spade. When we do that, we may be labeled as one practicing discrimination, injustice and other negative adjectives that the world may throw upon us.
Are you perceived as being peculiar for God in your workplace, school or society?
Chapter Four
Transformation
The Apostle Paul challenged the Christians in Rome not to conform to the world but to be transformed by the renewing of their minds (Romans 12: 1-2). He encouraged the Roman Christian to be set apart (holy), renew their thinking so that they may be able to test and approve the pleasing and perfect will of God. In other words, Paul is telling us not to be a chameleon that changes its colors to suit the environment we are in but to be a butterfly that metamorphizes from something helpless to something beautiful. Like the chameleon, man adapts to his world, thinking that is the only alternative to move forward. Governments and world leaders either encourage their followers, or for the sake of appeasement, allow for mankind to continue in this destructive path. With the syncretism of philosophy, one wonders if the fate of the world will be similar to that of a chameleon on tartan?
The Apostle Paul encouraged his readers to transform. Like a caterpillar, we are to transform to a butterfly. Our transformation must happen for all to see. It is meant to be a beautiful change, something colorful unlike a chameleon that adapts to only one color. This transformation is glorious to God. But what in ourselves do we transform? The Apostle Paul is clear in his message – it is our mind. He says that we need the renewing of our mind. The mind is the seat of thoughts. It is where sin originates. It is the home of the will of man. Unless the house is cleaned out, washed and made ready, no visitor will be welcomed there. In the same manner, our mind needs a cleansing in order for the Holy Spirit to make His home in us. Our Lord Jesus once said that out of the heart comes evil thoughts (Matt 15:19) describing the Pharisees of His time. Paul echoed what Jesus said, that if our minds are not set right, we will continue to conform to the world. This is dangerous because later the Apostle John in his first letter reiterated that we are not to love the world and if we do, God’s love is not with us (1 John 2: 15-17). Hence to conform to the world, to go along with the thoughts of man and to appease to the ways of this world puts us directly out of God’s will and into His judgment.
How can we renew our minds? Why is this necessary?
Lets look at the how before we explore the why. Thinking takes place in the mind. For thinking to start its process, we need information. Without information, what are we thinking about? When information is distilled, it becomes knowledge and when knowledge is used, it becomes wisdom. In a general sense this is true although it may differ from one person to another as far as the process is concerned. Before we act on our urges or intentions, our mind goes through the thinking process. This is true even for those who act on an impulse in a fit of rage. The thinking process goes on overdrive in such circumstances that we may be unable to stop our action, but the thought is already there when we act on our impulses. Our bodies cannot act on its own volition – it needs the instruction from our mind.
So, if the mind requires information for it to function, the question is then what and where can we get this information? We can get it practically from anywhere – nature, TV, online, books, schools, colleges, conversations, newsprints, etc. We now live in the Age of Information. Information is being pushed to us whether we like it or not! In all this cacophony of information noise, what should we retain and what should we discard? In certain countries, citizens do not have the choice of what to retain and discard. And in this era of instant news, we don’t know which news to trust. I believe that we are in this circumstance because we live in a world that has discarded its Maker and has replaced Him with a god of our making – “I”!
When God created man, He gave man His image. This means God has given man His moral code. There is still a concept of right and wrong. You cannot have one without the other as each one can be described by what the other is not! This is God’s plan from the beginning. However, man has devised evil ways to contend with God by blurring the lines of right and wrong. Even good intended people have contended with God on His moral code. It is much easier to work on a moral code without God because once the standard has been removed, you and I can choose what is right and wrong that best suits us in the best possible situation. We have not only removed the moral code Giver but have usurped His authority and become our own gods. Our minds have been darkened, black as how a chameleon turns to once it is dead.
In order for our minds to be renewed, we need to go back to the moral code Giver. He is the source from whence we may understand right from wrong and discern morality and immorality. Where can we get this source code? The Bible.
Amazingly preserved for over four thousand years of His story – from creation to salvation. God’s action as seen through Scripture points us to a better future than one can believe based on current polemics. As Christians our hope is anchored on God’s promises found throughout the Bible. If you want to start renewing your mind, you must start with reading the word of God. This is the information that our mind needs to start our thinking process. In college, one of the first thing I was taught in computer programming was GIGO – garbage in, garbage out. If you write garbage coding the result will also be garbage – useless. However, if you were to write great coding, the result will be great as well – useful. The same way, God’s word meditated upon will result in usefulness. You will be useful to God! The Apostle Paul writes to Timothy that God can use you as a vessel for noble purposes (2 Tim: 2:20-21). The right information will lead to the correct knowledge and when used it will lead to wisdom. How wonderful it is when every Christian is a wise person.
Chapter Five
Renewal
Now let’s answer the second question, “Why is it necessary to renew the mind?” The answer is found in the very same passage in Romans 12. Paul answers it for us by saying, “you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12: 1-2). We need to have a renewed mind to both test and approve the will of God. In His kindest wisdom, He has given mankind the choice to choose His way or otherwise. He still gives Christians a choice where testing and approving takes place so that once we have tested and approved His will, we may then fully understand that His will for us is good, pleasing and perfect. He knows whom He has made and He knows that I will have doubts and fears and that as Gideon tested Him (Judges 6: 36-40), I will do so as well. Hence a righteous God has done a righteous deed by allowing for my fear and a way for this fear to be overcome. When we understand God, we know that His requirements will not burden us and even if they should, He is there to lighten it for us so that we may be able to bear what He has for us.
God’s good, pleasing, and perfect will may be seen by the world as bad, unpleasant and flawed. One needs only to look at the cross to justify how God’s will is warped in injustice. Such naysayers and world philosophers have pitted their rationale and reasonable minds against God. Such thinking originates from self-preservation. Such arguments rise from the heap of temporal disposition where there is no life after death. Yet these philosophers have little to say about the glorious resurrection and the ascension of Jesus Christ to heaven, seated on the right hand of God. Since many do not believe in life after death, the notion of Christ’s current standing is not tenable.
Often Christians are looking for the good, pleasing and perfect will of God for their pleasure on earth. It should not be surprising for a Christian to note that Scripture make no such promises. What is promised to us Christians is persecution and suffering not of God’s doing but the consequence of being set apart. The world does not trust those who act differently than themselves. To this day, the Jews are often not trusted because of their peculiar ways. When we stand apart for God, the majority will reject us and the consequence of such rejection is what we are asked to bear. For through bearing such injustice, we stand in the will of God. In such injustice the dark clouds dissipate revealing the clear good, pleasing and perfect will of God.
There will be some, perhaps many, in the Christian faith that will raise Cain with what I am about to say. Upon careful reading of Scripture, I do not find that the will of God for me is to have good health, wealth, peace and long life. This is not only for me, but for everyone who is called to His fellowship. Unfortunately, health, wealth and prosperity are preached boldly to Christians from pulpits every Sunday and on every opportunity. Because Abraham, Isaac and Jacob were wealthy therefore the obvious conclusion is that we too who are Abraham’s children will benefit from the same blessings as to the patriarchs. Such teaching places a burden on Christians who are poor, destitute and of ill health. These Christians begin to doubt their faith and belief. When we read the Bible in the context of God’s righteous plan, we clearly see that the will of God is to bring His creation back to Him as He is.
Our tenure on earth is short and God is looking towards everlasting. However, our mind is still stuck on this earth. Our thoughts are held captive by what this world has to offer and how we can benefit from it. So we ask either for our will or His will to be done on earth, period. We forget that the line in the Lord’s Prayer completes with “let Your Will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven” (Matthew 6:10). There seems to be a continuance of His will both on earth and in heaven. But if our focus lies only on earth, we have missed the continuance and worst still we have created a barrier to this continuum.
Therefore, it is imperative for Christians to understand that the will of God carries from earth to heaven. In other words, we Christians are already living our everlasting life on earth with a guarantee to continue to live with Him forever. There will be a miniscule blimp when our human body dies, but we still continue to live until we receive a new body when Christ returns. So, the renewed mind of a Christian looks for God’s continual will in both spheres – earth and heaven. Now, isn’t this an extraordinary position to be in? No longer are we weighed down by the cares of this world nor are we looking for an earthly gain but to be partakers of God’s eternal plan.
Chapter Six
The Way Forward
The will of God for mankind is plain to see if only we can see it. This is the ‘need’ that you and I long for because this is permanent. It remains in us. It is not something that people can snatch away from us, it withstands nature’s force, it holds steady when our world is tossed to and fro.
It begins with knowing the difference between a need and a want. Once we can understand this we have taken a step closer to understanding His will.
To understand God’s will, you must want to know him as how He has shown or revealed to us in Scripture. God is righteous and the closest relationship we have with Him is described as Father. This relationship is only reserved for those who by faith have accepted Jesus Christ. All those outside this relationship do not have the right to call God as Father.
God’s will for you is your sanctification. This process happens daily in your conscious walk with Him. In return, you must be willing to be set apart from this world and its influence. Rather you are to influence the world for God. Just as a teaspoon of coffee influences the color of water, our influence in the world should change the prevailing ideologies of this world.
This requires a transformation of our mind. It is impossible for us to be an influence without the effectual renewal of our minds. Otherwise we do what we are told and when we are not told, we do not act. This is what I would term as an artificial intelligence (programmed). We are in communion with a living Being and He needs an active and sharp mind to bring His righteousness to the fallen world.
A transformed mind is in tune with its Creator. It understands the temporal existence of this body and believes in a supernatural body that is promised. To this end, we live out the will of our Creator. God’s plans are eternal for those who are His. As such, we should also be in a position to abide in His eternal will. Our view is not short term, it is not based on benefits that we can derive whilst on earth but we are planting seeds to be harvested in future. His promises to us are sure and real.
When life brings you to a fork on the road, ask if you were led by your wants or were you led there by needs? For you who are looking for God’s will in your life, whether it is choice or decision that needs making, examine your life first. Surrender to His will to be sanctified, made righteous and then go and glorify God in what you do. You are already doing His will when you obey His command-will. Our God, who knows when a sparrow falls and calls out each star by name, knows that you who walk in the light are more precious to Him than any of His creation.
If you remain steadfast to His command-will, don’t be surprised to see Him waiting on either side of the fork! One day He will lead you to a garden. A garden so beautiful made by the hands of God that nothing compares to it on earth. It is called Paradise. That is His Sovereign Will for all who are His obedient children.
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