#essay-ish?

[velaralilas]

an onryo main talks about the onryo rework

(behavior interactive)

the time has finally come! Sadako finally got an update in DBD and im here to talk about it.

overall, these changes are amazing. i think after this update is released, Sadako will finally move up the killer tier list (though she will always be S tier in my heart ♡ ). though i dont play killer all that much anymore, i still find myself going back and making sure i still got it.

i will be going over each point from behaviors blog post individually to ease confusion- also, they talk about reworking her add-ons as well but didnt disclose which ones they were working on.

projection

Projecting to a TV now applies ¾ of a stack of Condemned to all Survivors not carrying a Cursed Tape (was 1 stack to nearby Survivors).

this is the only one i don't understand why they changed it. i think keeping the projecting stack at 1 is fine- as it doesn't affect survivors unless you're projecting constantly. i do like that now it affects all survivors instead of those around the tv you project to.

The time a TV is disabled after The Onryo Projects to it has been reduced to 70 seconds (was 100 seconds). This can be further reduced using Add-ons.

THANK YOU BHVR OMG. this has been a needed change for a while. even if it was reduced to 80-85 i would have been happy. waiting so long for a tv to turn back on is frustrating, especially if you know survivors are working on a gen near that specific tv.

The time a TV is disabled after a Survivor removes the Cursed Tape has been increased to 90 seconds (was 60 seconds).

THANK YOU AGAIN BHVR. it never made sense (to me) why survivors turning off tvs had them off shorter than when you projecting to them. this also provides some sense of security to survivors working on gens and reduces the amount of time they have to work on turning tvs off.

Projection now has a 15 second cooldown. Since there is no longer a range limit on the Condemned effect, we need to limit how frequently this can happen.

am i upset about this? yes, but also no. my play-style doesnt include me teleporting constantly, but having a cooldown is nice to have so you can plot where to project next.

cursed tapes

Getting hit with a Basic Attack while carrying a Cursed Tape will apply one stack of Condemned.

WHERE WAS THIS WHEN SADAKO DROPPED?? THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. and now carrying a tape is so much more lethal than it was before.

When a Survivor carrying a Cursed Tape is hooked, all other Survivors gain one stack of Condemned and the Tape is destroyed.

JKFHAOFHAOHFIU AGAIN WHERE WAS THIS???? the tape being destroyed is also nice, since when survivors get unhooked they run to get rid of their tape.

Holding a Cursed Tape no longer passively builds Condemned.

hot take: this shoudnt have been in the game in the first place. most survivors keep the tape until they're at 6 stacks then get rid of it anyway (its me. im survivors.)

Cursed Tapes can now be placed in any TV other than the one they were retrieved from.

thats all. i just want to be outplayed by survivors. though i can understand why they had the original mechanic in the game originally. this also provides a sense of safety if multiple survivors are working on a gen.

demanifistation

The Onryo can no longer be stunned while Demanifested.

i have to see how this works before i place a final judgement on it. do we just eat the palette? do we walk through it? LIKE WHAT HAPPENS?????

Chases are prevented when Demanifested, making it more difficult to keep track of The Onryo’s position.

this is the same as other stealth killers (wraith), so i have no real issue with this change. its also nice that survivors wont know you're there due to the chase music playing

Demanifesting now removes Bloodlust, similar to other Killer Powers.

again, its the same as other killers, so i dont really care about this one.

this rework is amazing! i cant wait for this to go live. i might have to stop playing survivor when it does. one thing i want is more cosmetics but other than that this is everything i could ask for.

[dootznbootz]

Do you think Telemachus visits that salted field and thinks of his father?

Penelope tells him how much his father loved him. How he saved him. Kissing his cheek as her own tears fall.

They go together and she tells him how it went, voice trembling, remembering the fear and anger she felt then as it bubbled within her once more.

He's told how his father lunged to save him, thundering hooves nearly crushing his head. How the king trembled as he cooed to his baby. Comforting his son as much as himself, fearing what may have happened if he was not quick enough.

Does Telemachus know that Odysseus would do anything to be able to soothe him again? To kiss those dampened cheeks and pull him into his chest once more?

Does the young prince dig his hands into the dirt? Trying to find anything left from his father?

Does he feel like he also cannot grow just like that field? As though he is partially stunted?

[tovaicas]

not me thinking abt how estinien is consistently one of the most emotionally intelligent characters (at least when it comes to other people) we have yet this is constantly forgotten or minimized

[inkdemonapologist]

My BatDR Take That Used To Be Hot But I Left It Out On The Windowsill To Cool So You Should Be Able to Eat It Now Without Burning Your Tongue

its not actually that hot, is what im saying

Anyway my BatDR hot take is that BatDR's story is not fundamentally worse than BatIM with one exception; an exception that, for BatIM, covers a multitude of sins:

BatIM has a theme.

I can't presume the intentions of the creators, but if I had to write an essay on the themes in BatIM, it wouldn't be hard to pick one out: the cost of obsession, or even just, the ruin Joey brought on the studio. In the very first chapter, Henry asks "Joey, what were you doing?" and every single thing in the rest of the game revolves around that central question: what WAS Joey doing? Each audiolog is a snippet of the studio's path to this messed up state; each character you meet is someone ruined by Joey. The major antagonists echo Joey's flaws -- obsession with Bendy as more than a cartoon, obsession with perfection, obsession with fame and greatness and legacy -- but even without that, they're also each a picture of how the lives of people caught in the path of Joey's dream were ruined by it. Bertrum, for example, doesn't match the concept of rubberhose cartoons, but as yet another person screwed over by Joey, he fits the central question of the story, so he feels like he belongs here. Ultimately, in a narrative sense, the Ink Demon isn't the story's monster -- Joey is; the Ink Demon is just the consequence of his reckless ambition.

But what's the theme or central question of BatDR?

You can... try to pick out a theme. There's some promising options, because it feels like the story WANTED a theme, stating its emotional intentions more overtly -- "there's always a choice" to leave the darkness and chose hope; family and the struggle of living in a heavy legacy's shadow; or even just good old mewtwo-brand The Circumstance's Of One's Birth Are Irrelevant, It Is What You Do With The Gift Of Life That Determines Who You Are.

I think, even WITH the clumsy execution of Joey's "arc" and Audrey's lack of real choices, any of those could work about as well as BatIM. But unlike BatIM, the majority of the game doesn't tie in. Joey's tour can be considered relevant -- a picture of the family legacy and the "darkness" that Audrey doesn't yet know she's inheriting -- but like, the audiologs and hints and environment of BatDR are mostly teasing the question of What Is Gent Up To, and the takeover of Gent is detached from Audrey's choices, her family, her legacy, and Gent never really becomes a relevant threat to those things in this game. The Cult of Amok and the Ghost Train have nothing to do with any of these ideas. It might've been neat if Audrey had ever considered, "Did my father really drive all these people insane?", a hint of actually having to wonder about the darkness in her past. Even Wilson only barely brushes against these concepts; he doesn't like Joey and he also is trying to escape his family's heavy legacy, but it doesn't really reflect on his actions and we don't find that last part out until he's about to be dead.

There's also the question Wilson poses of "real" people versus ink creations, and what counts as valid "life." It would be an interesting theme with a lot to build off of in this setting, it ties into Wilson more as Wilson seems to represent the opinion that Inky Things Aren't Really Alive, which could've tied to Audrey (as an ink-person who has yet to accept that part of herself) and maybe given Wilson a reason to think it's fine to sacrifice her, it could've even tied to Gent (who don't even seem to value human life) -- but after Wilson asks the question, it doesn't tie into the direction things go. He smooshes a little Bendy, we see hints of his disregard for Betty, and then everyone continues with their plan to destroy the Ink Demon without any further moral quandaries about inky life.

The thing is, when you compare an element like, say, audiologs, there's a lot of differences you can point to -- but I don't actually think Lacie Benton's audiolog is notably better, taken on its own, than Grace Conway's or Kitty Thompson's, and yet tons of people were intrigued enough to flesh out Lacie. None of them are big plot points or compelling characters on their own; Lacie and Grace both give us a little note on what it's like working in the Studio, and Kitty shares a little bit on how Gent's expansion is affecting people. But when Lacie talks about Bertrum trying to make a creepy animatronic, that ties back into Joey's ill-fated schemes that are the point of the whole story. The question we're asking through the whole game is "what happened here?" so the fandom is interested in who Lacie is and what her life was like and extrapolates a whole person out of a couple sentences. But that's not the question in BatDR -- what has Wilson done to the Cycle and the Demon? Why? Who is Audrey really, and why is she here? Telling us new things about the Studio's fate seems strangely irrelevant to those questions, just an attempt to create a Mystery To Speculate On like the previous game did... but what question you're asking and how it fits into your story's main theme, like, matters. I absolutely believe that one clock animator guy would've been in EVERYONE'S crew if he'd been introduced in BatIM, but the context makes a difference; fleshing him out feels less relevant here.

The explanations of how and why Wilson did everything he did are baffling and handwavey, but in and of itself that's not a worse problem than anything else in the franchise -- I STILL don't understand why the Ink Machine needs pipes in the walls or even how it works, there's no good reason for Sammy to believe the Ink Demon will "set him free," most of Alice's motives don't make sense, etc etc etc. But the thing is that in BatDR, the wibbly bit is the closest thing to a central question we have! Wilson, what were you doing? The theme doesn't really explore or connect to that question, so the explanations that are finally tossed our way feel lacking in a way that BatIM's handwaved elements don't. There's a lot about Joey's motivation in BatIM that we can't know, but the heart of it resonates -- Joey wanted something, he was willing to exploit people to get it, and he became obsessed and prioritised that dream at any cost. We'll weather a thousand logistical inconsistencies if it's got heart.

But all of that said.... to be honest, I don't think Lacie overtly fits that theme anyway. Even, like, Sammy is iffy -- we don't really know what happened to him, only that he didn't used to be made of ink and worship Bendy, and now he does. We assume Joey's nonsense had something to do with what happened to him (though the books later assert his influence was indirect at best), because when there's a pattern, we can fill in the blank. So many fan creators found a place for Lacie, Grant, and Shawn in the cycle as butcher clones or lost ones, so many people imagined that Wally must be the Boris we meet, because that would've fit the pattern, the idea that the point of what we're seeing is the downfall of the studio. It's not actually that BatIM did a great job tying everything together -- it's that BatIM gave us a compelling idea and that was all it took to make everything else SEEM like it could find a place to fit. This is what I mean when I say BatIM's theme covers a multitude of sins. There's a LOT of characters in BatIM that don't make sense. There's a lot of inconsistencies and things that just sort of happen without any real reason. Characters don't really have "arcs" so much as different states they happen to be in at different times. But because there's a central question and the story doesn't wander away from it, our pattern-loving human brains will slot in all the pieces and do all the work to make the story feel at least somewhat coherent.

The things that happened in BatDR aren't a whole lot less coherent than BatIM imo, they just don't tie into a bigger theme or any of the questions the story's asking, making "how do they fit into all this" feel irrelevant, making it easier to forget entire sections and harder to get invested in audiolog characters. I think a lot of the other criticisms people have for BatDR's story are very valid, but I also suspect that if BatDR had a more successful theme/central question, then a lot of its flaws would be easier to overlook -- just like BatIM.

[samble-moved]

reminder that homura is a middle schooler. she is 13 or 14 years old, depending on source. she is not old enough to drive or have a permit. she is not old enough to live on her own (it's implied her parents are out of the picture in some way — in the US she'd need to be in adoptive or foster care, or at least have a guardian or social worker, but this appears to be handwaved in the series and none are ever shown). she cannot vote. she is not old enough to get a job (earliest i've seen is 14 in the US, and that's usually in not great environments, in summer, and for low pay and short hours). she is only "independent" in the sense that it's forced upon her by lack of any adult support — nobody helps her fill out school transfer forms, she lives alone, she has no shown family or even mentions of relatives, nobody visits her in the hospital, etc.

i say this because a lot of "anti homura" arguments act as if this information doesn't exist, and that homura is "actually an adult" or at the same level as one due to looping. she canonically is not. her brain and physical body are not developing, she is only learning walpurgis tactics and memorizing test answers. her brain is not developing so she's not "mentally 26", like is often claimed by "homura is a predator" truthers. i'm not even going to touch on how weird and borderline creepy it is to say "she's a child but so mature for her age (from extreme, repeated, potentially pre-series trauma), so she must be an adult and can be treated like one".

there is a reason that children are typically tried differently in the US. unless "tried as an adult" for very serious crimes, it is widely accepted that children (and even young adults) are more impulsive, think less rationally, and are generally "less responsible" for their actions due to not having the experiences of a full grown adult. children are less mature, more prone to "overreaction" and panic, and are immature — because they are kids.

homura is a child. she also has extreme trauma, potentially from before the series even began (where are her parents? are they just neglectful? dead? why isn't there even a single adult helping her?) that is never helped or addressed. homura doesn't get help for any issues she has (obvious ptsd and depression, borderline delusions over the past being "just a dream" in wraith arc). she is not some spoiled, rich, mentally stable almost-adult who's never faced a consequence. she is a young and traumatized teenager, young enough to be a middle schooler, and has experienced:

neglectful, absent, missing, or dead family/parents

watching her friends die horrifically almost a hundred times

having zero adult support at all, no caseworker or help

bullying, half being because she's disabled

having her soul ripped from her body without consent and learning if she ever loses her soul gem (or god forbid accidentally drops it somewhere), her body will basically be "dead"

learning she and all her friends turn into eldritch horrors when they die, a process shown in rebellion to be something they are aware for (aka the horror that witches aren't "just" bodies being moved, they are actively and constantly suffering and aware to some degree the whole time)

learning that the witches they fight are girls around their age who fell into despair, and not purposeless monsters

learned of the prospect that witches can potentially "regrow" via familiars, thus if their consciousness transfers, this shows the possibility of literally eternal suffering as the witch is "reborn"

realization that, the more she tries to save madoka, the worse the situation gets

having a full on breakdown with delusions in wraith arc, thinking maybe madoka was all just a hallucination or a dream she had

finding out in rebellion it wasn't a dream, but then thinking she betrayed madoka by not stopping her from contracting

becoming a witch whose whole theme is based around suicide and wanting and waiting to die, but not being able to

being a witch whose familiars are malicious towards her and belittle her

trying to "fix" her believed betrayal of madoka by making a new world, ending up hated by sayaka and isolated from her friends

is still stuck as a witch while the last event happens!!! (her soul gem is never shown purified)

all of this while she is 13-14.

homura is not some cruel adult playing god because she is bored and likes the power trip and wants the world to burn. she is a deeply traumatized and mentally ill child who never got help. she is not a predator — and i honestly don't know if that is more of a "she's a predator because she's the most openly sapphic" or "she's a predator because she's traumatized and thus 'acts weird' due to trauma" belief nowadays in most anti-homura spaces, i've seen both. she is not a murderer or rapist or whatever else i've seen (yes, "homura is a sexual predator" claims exist, despite this never once even being implied). she is not an abuser — you can argue she's cold or rude, but she is not "an abuser".

if a child like homura existed irl (and they do exist), a professional's first thought would not be "this is an evil, irredeemable, abusive predator who can be treated like an adult", it'd likely be a reaction of horror and deep concern of "what happened to this child to make her act this way?". someone being "the perfect victim" — that is, being soft, demure, sweet, docile, flawless — in response to trauma is a harmful myth for a reason. some trauma victims will react with anger. some may be overly happy in an attempt to prevent further abuse. some, like homura, end up acting "cold" to try and avoid being further hurt. it doesn't mean homura doesn't experience emotion, hates her friends and wants them to suffer, is a predator, is "a bad person", etc.

think! when you write posts about how homura is actually an evil, awful, no good, very bad person with no positive traits, remember she is a middle schooler. of course, she's not a "real" child, and thus doesn't exist to have her feelings hurt over it, but consider this: would you say these things to/about a real child? are you aware that "real children" (often victims of trauma themselves) relate to homura due to this? i was one of them at 14ish, and while "homura is evil [for acting like a traumatized child often does]" discourse never left me particularly hurt, i know it does genuinely upset several people i know. and if you had, say, a real life child relative who acted "cold" after seeing their friends die horribly, would you call them an evil and irredeemable abuser as well?

[rancid-zinnia-onthepatio]

MCU's Mysterio was lackluster.

DISCLAIMER: if you like MCU Mysterio THAT IS FINE. I probably love a character you dislike! This is my opinion, it’s not fact.

I become very passionate about characterization, so it’s likely this can be seen as an overreaction to other people. But this is what I like to do so :DDD (I love over-analyzing characters)

So, I’ve obviously been in a Mysterio phase the past little while. I watched Far From Home because I had only heard from people around me about the MCU version of the character. I never watched any MCU movies (besides NWH when it came out), so I didn't know what to expect. At this point, I have watched all of TSSM, read Mysterio’s first issue and a couple others from that era, watched his episodes in the ‘94 cartoon, read Webspinners, and Amazing Mary Jane. I say I have some understanding of what/who Mysterio essentially is.

MCU’s Mysterio, in my opinion, isn’t a good representation of who Mysterio is as a character. The movie seems to only understand him at a surface level. What similarities does MCU’s version have with the common comic consensus? He’s good with technology (and some acting), he’s a liar and a manipulator, and was underappreciated by the people around him. They both also mention illusions, as that is Mysterio’s ENTIRE shtick.

However, I’d argue MCU’s version doesn’t really delve as much into that aspect as it could. Yes, at the time of Mysterio’s debut in the comics, CGI wasn’t really a thing. Perhaps the MCU decided to “modernize” him. But instead, it felt to me, like someone painting an old Victorian house beige to modernize it. Changing his practical effects/magician knowledge to an understanding of holograms feels cheap. Comic Mysterio would absolutely HATE exclusively using CGI. Do other variants use holograms? Yes, TSSM used them a few times. But he also included practical props and magic tricks. Mysterio is a multi-media creative, not just a technician. (To me, anyway.)

The last scene of the movie that features Beck had the perfect opportunity for him to use a robotic clone instead of ANOTHER hologram to trick Peter while he was dying. The smoke surrounding him could've been emitted by the drones, but it was holographic too.

But, holograms are all MCU Beck knows. The other members of his crew had all of the creative or technical traits that the multi-talented stuntman of the comics would have. His character, Quentin, wasn’t even his idea. (Quentin isn’t even his real name, apparently. But we never find out his real name, we just know him as Beck.)

He’s a liar and a manipulator, sure, but that's the most he has that's really in line with who Mysterio is.

He doesn’t have that signature ego the traditional Mysterio is solely reliant on. (To the point where most jabs about him made by Spidey are about said pride. Even in an old PS2 game he called a large robot version of Mysterio “almost as big as [his] ego.”)

When he saves the city from the water elemental, he simply salutes and leaves while the crowd cheers. Mysterio would encourage the cheering, revel in it, as that’s who he is. Hell, even while fighting every elemental in the movie, he does not even try to make a snarky remark or make himself seem cool. (He never even speaks! Only when Peter joins him in fighting does he speak during fights, but it's only to Peter.) Webspinners gave us the idea that Beck knows he’s not the coolest guy ever, but as Mysterio, he can be greater. There is no separation between Beck and Mysterio in the movie, there’s hardly a mask he is putting on (or rather fishbowl). Sure, he tells Spider-Man that “Mysterio is the truth!” seemingly to make Mysterio a symbol, but it falls flat for me.

Usually, Beck and Mysterio are almost two distinct people. Mysterio in the movie has no signature voice or way of speech that makes him grander than the average joe Beck is.

MCU Beck’s given backstory can be interesting, if it weren’t for how it is framed. Note: I do not care about Tony Stark or any of his friends, everything I know about him is surface level. Beck expresses that his holographic technology was taken by Stark and insulted. Supposedly, Beck was fired for being, as he put it, “unstable.” We do not see what this really means. How this scene read to me is that a rich man took advantage of an employee, and thus framed him as mentally unwell to discredit him should he speak up. It could be from my knowledge of Disney’s employee treatment that gives me this icky feeling seeing this scene being framed as “unreasonable” in a way. How dare Beck, a man who’s life's work was stolen and insulted by someone much more powerful than him, get angry at the MCU’s golden boy?

Could Beck be an unreliable narrator here? Absolutely, but from what I heard this is not the first time something like this happens in regards to Stark.

Beck, to me, didn’t read like a loser who puts on a fishbowl to take on a much bigger personality. He feels like a man who you could replace with anyone, and it wouldn’t make that much of a change.

It is such a difference watching that movie, then watching any of his variants in cartoons or reading them in the comics. It’s not even an interesting difference. It’s not a twist on his character that makes me go “Oh, that’s cool.” I'm just left disappointed.

If Beck wasn’t framed as an irrational, short-tempered monster after his “twist reveal,” there could be something to say about his character. He has a legitimate reason to be upset, but it sucks that that is the only motivation he has (and that this motivation drives him so up the wall that he’s willing to kill Peter and mass amounts of people. Mysterio is rarely framed as a killer, from what I’ve seen.).

Yes, Beck is traditionally a very petty man. But my issue is that the backstory also just HAS to include Tony for the sake of Disney's meatriding of him and for Peter's grief the whole movie.

If we use this backstory for him, it could be a representation of lower wage employees being treated as disposable. It could give him some much needed depth. This depth is lost when he gets the “angry killer” characterization after his reveal. It no longer feels like a backstory that makes the audience sympathetic towards him, it feels like we’re just supposed to see that story as the supporting evidence for him being “unstable.” (Because Disney doesn’t want us to side with the lower wage employees that they regularly take advantage of. Look guys! He’s the villain for a reason!)

I could be wrong. This could be a show of how a grudge can turn you into a shell of your former self and lead you down a bad path. Perhaps Beck did have some mental health issues that enhanced his irrationality and anger, but I don’t think that was the intent at all. The framing doesn't feel like we're supposed to feel bad for him. But I do to an extent.

MCU “Quentin” Beck does not feel like Mysterio. He just feels like a guy who knows how to make holograms and maybe says the word "illusion" five or so times.

The illusion Peter is stuck in before he gets hit by a train is actually the only scene I like. There are creative visuals and trippy imagery. But that's one scene, and it's not even that long. Disney, you made the pink elephants on parade segment, do that more.

I simply wished we got the pathetic theater major we ("we" as in Mysterio likers) know and love.

tagged: @mango-water, @cronchyy2, @bluebutterflytears

[eazy-peazy54]

My problem with the Will Wood fandom, (a.k.a touch grass, a.k.a stan culture can suck it) (an essay.)

This one is LONG and a DOOZY, so buckle up if you like to read.

just want to clarify, i do NOT hate the will wood fandom in itself. AT ALL. I love you guys (/p)

i just dislike the people who say weird and creepy shit. if that doesnt apply to you, cool! but tell the people who do that shit to knock it off.

NO DISCOURSE IN THE REBLOGS I WILL ATTACK YOU

One HUGE gripe I have with the Will Wood fandom is how some of you guys treat Will Wood like (and this is literally the only way I can put this that isn't too serious) some all-powerful deity of knowledge that you would kill AND die for. In this essay, I will explain why [some of] you are fucking creeps.

Will Wood. Where do I begin. For the very few who are unaware, Will Wood is a singer-songwriter who makes very strange avant garde whatchamacallit evil jazz/swing music. He has been known as Will Wood since 2015, where he released his first album, Everything Is A Lot, under the name Will Wood and the Tapeworms.

Me personally, I first heard of him from the song Dr. Sunshine Is Dead, from the good old days of 2018 animation meme Youtube.

Ever since the inevitable Tiktokification of the song I / Me / Myself, from The Normal Album, the Will Wood fandom has become... well.. full of children. I have no place to speak, of course, because I myself, am a teenager, but I'm talking like. 11-14 year olds.

11-14 year olds who are all fucking INSANE.

Will Wood has been put in what I like to call;

The Holy Trinity.

This being the big three artists who the mentally ill queers (like me) listen to.

Lemon Demon, Tally Hall, and of course, Will Wood.

Being in this holy trinity has both done him good, and bad. On the positive side, yay!! More streams, more plays, more people to appreciate the craft, and more people who like the music! On the negative side, now you have an army of children listening to adult music, interacting with adult music and music videos, who are willing to do ANYTHING to get your attention, because they are young and don't know much better.

And here, stuck in the middle of it all, is poor William.

Stuck as a straight "gay icon," in a sea of twelve year olds.

Well shit.

---

Leading to the second part of my half-essay.

2020. The year shit changed for Will Wood. The Normal Album was released, and people found themselves relating to I / Me / Myself, as stated before. Then this "new," unheard of fandom was kind of birthed upon Tiktok. They were treating him like fucking jesus.

Which is weird.

They were sad, gay, looking for answers, and found them in Will's music. Which is like. Cool!

But when people were saying that he was trans, and then switched up and said he was making fun of trans people?

Yeah. Not that cool actually.

Coming back to the present now, Will has stated how weird these kids are.

In a response from a AMA for In Case I Make It on the official Will Wood subreddit, (I know. Ew, gross, Reddit, but this post was what inspired me to make this in the first place, so,) Will says this:

---

"When I was living in the sticks along the Delaware during the pandemic, I had this weird sort of mystical thing going on inside my head that was trying connect dots in my life and turn meaningless nothing things into signs that I would die.

This was happening around the same time I was dealing with getting actual public attention for the first time, and was living in an area where nobody wore masks, and was living with people who were at risk of serious covid complications if they caught it. Also for most of it I was the dreaded 27, and having been a bit of a junkie in my younger years and an idiot with a barely-treated psychiatric wreck in my brain for most of the ones following it, it was not unlike me to assume I'd die young.

It just seemed too perfect.

As I was dealing with the reception of the normal album (my first truly scathing reviews, I/Me/Myself "discourse," being the subject of conversation on a larger scale) which was beyond what I was prepared for psychologically in terms of its scope and type, my anxious rumination started to veer toward genuine paranoia.

I started thinking that I would die by my own hand or be murdered by one of these crazed Will Wood fans in the dead of night. So I didn't sleep like ever, I lost a bunch of weight and couldn't gain it back for a while, I freaked out a whole bunch and I'm surprised looking back I never lost my sobriety or whatever.

Since it started to look more and more like cosmic fact that I was doomed, I started to feel greater and greater desperation to get out these songs that I had been quietly writing over the previous year or two. Songs I'd written while going through a big breakup and wrestling with rotten parts of me that were finally accessible due to my finally being properly medicated and dealing with the real shit in therapy. And then songs I'd written as I went through these changes."

---

Obviously that is a lot to unpack for a Tumblr essay, but since you’re this far, you probably read it all already.

“Stans,” as most would call them, and “Stan Culture” as a whole, is just a huge wreck. Everyone is always fighting someone. We know this. We all do. Stans scare artists. 

I want you to think. Think of the artists who are inspired by Will Wood. The ones who want to cater out their music to the Will Wood fans. Imagine if you will, those artists seeing that AMA post, seeing the crazed fans, seeing the relentless sexualization, the jokes about serious issues, like Will’s past drug use, seeing all of this and thinking:

“Is it really worth it?

Is it really worth all of this to make music and put myself out there?”

Now, that may make you uncomfortable, but it's the honest truth. And it's happened to so many people, and so many artists. 

---

And now a message to the disgraced kids who managed to latch on to Will Wood’s music.

Treating a musical artist like a god is not gonna help anyone. I’d know. I’ve seen it happen multiple times, to multiple artists. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is think before posting on the internet. Think to yourself; would I say this to the artist's face? Could someone see this and think differently of me? Is this just weird to say in general?

Remember that these people are real people. Will Wood is a real person. With real thoughts. real feelings. a life to live. He's not just some music making machine. He’s not just some silly character. He’s not just some whimsical guy who we can all project onto.

Will Wood is a real person, and everyone should treat him that way. 

Thank you for reading.

(I will edit this essay if I think of anything else to add. That or I'll just reblog it.)

[northshrine]

oh yes absolutely

[cautious-callum]

Animal language

(Ramble)

More so a thought than anything else but I find it super cool that depending on biomes certian language aspects in animals is carried over cross species as a survival strategy or hunting method. How cats mimic bird chirping or butterflies have eye spots on their wings. Both are very good at taking language from one species to another. It also in some way explains what fears other animals may have or what they love the most by another species picking up on that.

Possums playing dead is fascinating to me as its just confusing enough for predators to leave them alone and it works so well they're the only marsupial im north america

I also feel domesticated animals have different tones or outright languages compared to wild animals that I find annoying sometimes cause well it reminds me of humans which i think is funny.

I think from hands on experience i relate most to raccoons, possums and chickens. Ungulates lately was something i understood language wise clearly at first but i think i had novice confidence and now i feel i know nothing. Raccoons completely confused me at first but now im beginning to understand why they act the way they do.

They are noteably extremely aggressive to animals their size and sometimes bigger if the opportunity is right. They will dominate smaller animals if they can at any chance. I find their resiliency and unyielding aggression admirable even if it means they will rip open a metal cage like a tim can to eat the heads off of baby possums (true story, thats why you need to secure enclosures SUPER WELL)

If i could hypothesize, i would suggest that this behavior is an extreme version of opportunistic behavior where they take every resource they can even if they dont need it or even if it only lowers competition slightly because they already have to deal with hawks, owls, coyotes, ect. Raccoons makes holes to ecosystems to fill them so to speak by killing as many possible competitors as possible.

They aren't the only animal that does this but what makes raccoons stand out to me is their ability to adapt to niches so quickly and readily. They can adapt to a skunks niche, possum, squirrels and other small mammals while not perfectly the same they can still find ways to compete with all of them.

Raccoons have a habit of picking an area and staying in it to use every resource if they can find a place to sleep and food to eat consistently they will wipe the floor with anything else their size that already lives there.

Tldr: raccoons are cool

[carnelianwings]

Since I'm not sure if I'll ever get the chance to properly touch on this in a fic because it's more character analysis than something I can properly include in dialogue/exposition without it being very awkwardly out of place and telling not showing, I figured I'd just dump it here. It's something I think about a lot whenever I write for post-Seed Destiny Athrun in a fic, because in so many ways, this is actually something of a non-magical "Ideal (Fake) Reality" situation that Durandal very nearly succeeded in pulling off, but ultimately failed at because Durandal overplayed his hand and underestimated Athrun's loyalty to his friends Kira, who was pulling triple duty opposing Athrun because Kira himself didn't agree with what Athrun was doing, protecting Cagalli, and supporting Cagalli at a time when she was powerless.

It's a trope I very much love in magical/sci-fi settings because it says a lot about the character and the lengths they'll go to get what they want (the willingness and determination to take the longer, harder path to make the dream reality vs the instant gratification option even if it's fake), and also just gives me so much to work with when I write when it comes to character motivation/dialogue/actions.

I feel like a lot of this gets missed in all the memes that he's (somewhat deservedly) suddenly a part of after Seed Freedom, because while Seed Freedom Athrun is very self-assured and confident in his course of action, he definitely took a long hard road (with more downs than ups, in my opinion) between Seed and Seed Destiny to get there.

(Rest behind the cut because there's a reason Athrun Zala is my favorite Seed character, and not just because he's got a lovely voice - thank you Ishida-san for that - and is easy on the eyes.)

When Athrun re-enlists in ZAFT and "continues" his life again as himself, he's given a choice thanks to Durandal's string-pulling: Resume the life that was planned for him by his parents and PLANT (his "destined" life, if you will), or find his way back to the life that he's chosen for himself (with Cagalli and Orb).

If he chose his "old" life, he would've had it all - the glory of being a decorated war veteran, a post as a FAITH member (resuming the role he'd previously gotten thanks to his father), a "Lacus Clyne" for his fiance, and the honor of being the pilot of the Legend (while being something of a "legend" himself). Durandal saw to it Athrun would've seamlessly resumed that life to all external appearances, even if it would've been an absolute sham behind closed doors. Athrun might be a decorated war veteran, but that came with a lot of trauma and grief - trauma from having to fight and kill at such a young age, grief at being the one to survive when those he'd called friends die around him, plus all the unresolved emotional turmoil and grief of having never been able to properly resolve things with his father and his genocidal ideals (because Patrick Zala, too, was a man who never got over his grief at losing Lenore during the Bloody Valentine Incident, and only became the way he did because of that). He might've had a highly coveted position within FAITH, but that power would ultimately be in service to Durandal (a head of state Athrun alternates between wanting to agree with and being directly at odds against). Durandal needed more capable "Yes men" ace pilots like Shinn Asuka to spread and enforce his plans, not people capable of thinking for themselves like Athrun (at least, Athrun got there after Operation Angel Down). The "Lacus Clyne", is, of course, Meer under the best cosmetic surgery money could buy, but she is nothing like Lacus Athrun knows and cares for as a friend and whose cause he had once lent his power to (and would again at the end of the Second War).

And the Legend? It might fit Athrun in name only (in the sense that he's the "legendary pilot who helped end the first Earth-PLANT War) but the entire suit (even if it had an updated OS for the DRAGOON system) doesn't even play to Athrun's core strengths as a pilot. It's almost comedic how Durandal didn't even bother tailoring the Legend to Athrun - the Saviour is more Athrun's style both as a spiritual successor to the Aegis and weapons load out, yet it's coincidental that it would end up in Athrun's hands. There's no way Durandal could've known and planned for the Saviour to go to Athrun, but Durandal arguably had that time with the Legend. In the episode where both the Destiny and Legend are revealed, Durandal made a point of telling Shinn the Destiny was fine tuned to him, but neglects to tell Athrun much about the Legend beyond the DRAGOON system and the updated OS for it (the closest Athrun arguably ever came to a DRAGOON system was flying right past Kira and Rau's duel in front of Genesis at the end of Seed).

On the flip side of that, there's the life Athrun had chosen for himself after the first Earth-PLANT War. It's not an ideal life, not by any means - the fact he's essentially a powerless civilian with no means to reach for his ultimate goal chafes him to no end, especially when there's the ever-looming threat of Cagalli getting taken away from him due to circumstances neither of them want nor are able to deal with. Cagalli can't get out of the arranged marriage, Athrun as "Alex Dino" has no claim to power and as "Athrun Zala" would only invite larger scale international problems - even if Athrun himself has no political ties to PLANT, his family name says plenty. Athrun is patient, yes, but even his patience has a limit, and seemingly losing Cagalli to someone he doesn't respect and she doesn't love (in a reversal of Athrun's situation with Lacus and Kira) pushes him to action out of desperation. And while it puts him at odds with Kira and Cagalli (including lashing out at both of them when Cagalli finally breaks down and gives in and gets coerced into going through with the arranged marriage), it does also get him to realize that he's not the same person he was before the war - he's no longer capable of living that same life he had before, where he would fight where his country tells him because that's the fastest way to end the war. The easy (destined, if you will) option is no longer an acceptable choice for him, because it's not the one that ultimately leaves him fulfilled and truly happy with the one he loves in the end.

And it's this that ultimately brings him back to Cagalli and the (Infinite) Justice, metaphorically reclaiming his sense of justice (ha ha). He's always going to be looking for a cause to serve, and a just cause by his own terms, because he's dedicated far too much of his life serving in the military to just stop doing that and he's spent too much time around Lacus to just mindlessly follow whatever the higher ups say, anymore. So this leaves the only way forward: serve under a head of state whose ideals he can agree with, with the freedom of choice to act according to his own sense of justice, and to that end, there's only one choice for him - return to Orb and Cagalli.

[rosymaraschino]

I think I’m probably one of the very few people in the Feh fandom who genuinely hates Embla. And even more rare, I happen to be an extremely devoted fan to Askr in addition (usually Askr lovers and Embla lovers go hand in hand, from what I’ve noticed). That got me thinking. I should write about why I am like this. Everything under the cut will be an article in a series about my issues with Embla, and why she is arguably one of the least sympathetic villains in the Fire Emblem Heroes universe. So, please skip if you don’t want to read. But if you do, go right ahead! :)

It will be separated into multiple parts. Now, I don’t want to shame anyone for liking her! We all have problematic faves. These are just my thoughts :)

And if I am wrong on anything lore-wise, I do appreciate corrections!

After being a Feh player for a while, I have played Book VI and did not develop the same adoration for the Goddess of Closure that many other fans held. Her story left me disgusted and angered. I felt no desire to give her love and mercy. I was not amused by the “divorced” dynamic with Askr. And for a while, I thought this was a me problem, and how my complex upbringing gave me triggers to characters displaying certain traits. Though accurate to an extent, replaying the story only confirmed and deepened my sentiments. In the story she debuts in combined with the bits of lore embedded in her units, the Goddess of Closure is a horrific individual and miserable excuse for a “sympathetic” villain. She represents the major failings of supreme beings: apathy/hatred towards those less fortunate, a concern for herself and her feelings alone, and a laundry list of war crimes that would make real life dictators blush.

Now the characters in Fire Emblem Heroes are often poorly written. But Embla is one of the few who received substantial coverage in her story, and it unfortunately cannot be so easily covered under this excuse. Does it hamper a few of her characteristics? Sure. But it cannot whitewash her entire character. The pieces of her life create the puzzle of an unfailingly cruel woman with an intense victim complex who is guided by the privilege she wields. And this can be an interesting character to handle! Unfortunately, the writers attempted to present her as a dumbed down villain who deserves our sympathy. My post explains why this is undeserved and how the intricacies of Book VI make her look worse than intended

Point #1: Embla’s Backstory

She cared so very deeply about mortals once.

This quote given by Askr in Chapter 10-1 of Book VI. Askr himself is part of the problem in the whitewashing of Embla, but we’ll get to that later. For now, I’ll concern just the past of Embla.

So, Embla and her love of mortals. When we see the backstory in the final chapter, I am sure many of us expected to see Askr’s words be true. Yet what we see is a woman whose position of power makes her ignorant to mortals’ plights, regarding them with disdain, and it is just a single action that drives her to persecute every single one who dared to commit the crime of existing in her presence.

Chapter 13-1 is the beginning of the long awaited backstory. We witness a scene of Askr and Embla, with the former trying to convince Embla to come with him to the world of Midgard.

“Shall we, Embla? The mortals are waiting for us. Come now…” This is the very first sentence we see.

And what is Embla’s very first response?

“What does it matter. Their lives will come to an end soon anyway. They have such short lives…”

Interesting. Now what could this be about? We learn during the scene, as explained by Askr, that Midgard is suffering from famine. And as we know, Midgard comprises the two kingdoms of Askr and Embla. Askr desires to help them survive, as “many of the mortals are now starving.” Yet Embla says that his methods “make no sense. But fine. Do not let me stop you. Do as you please.” From these scenes so far, we learn a couple of things.

1. The mortals’ lack of privilege fuels Embla’s lack of care for them.

2. Despite needing to be the guardian of her realm, Embla would rather hoist the burden of helping the mortals stave off starvation upon Askr.

Ultimately, this part ends with Askr being able to convince Embla to come with him, but she is extremely reluctant, and only does so for his sake. Because human beings dying from famine isn’t a good enough excuse apparently. Oh, and the picture above is the last thing we see in this scene. This shows she intends not to help the humans, but simply follows Askr. And truly, we do not know whether or not she holds to this. For as much as we know, we can realistically assume she only watched Askr helped and did nothing, because apparently her worthy presence should be enough.

After the mini battle, we get a short glimpse into the aftermath where Embla has received gifts from the mortals. She calls this display of affection “Foolish.” Askr nevertheless is happy for her and her supposed connection with the mortals. Embla remains unimpressed, even questioning Askr why “the happiness of others” pleases him so deeply. However, she later admits his interest in mortals is not as much as a mystery to her, yet she is vague, and does not openly appreciate them. The ending of Chapter 13-1 consists of Askr thinking she is thanking him for helping her to see the potential of mortals, though she denies it. While this is meant to make her endearing, it doesn’t really do that, at least for me. Why is she so hateful towards mortals? Why does she continue to remain at a distance, when all they have done so far are give her gifts? This only gives us more questions than answers.

Chapter 13-2

Here is where we witness an attempted assassination of Embla. Elm, her retainer, makes sure she is alright. Embla appears disturbed and shocked by the encounter, though she managed to kill her would be murderer. This mortal who attempted to kill her “came to me, smiling, wishing to make a tribute…Why then…did he come at me with a fearsome look in his eye?”

This is meant to be the crux of her despising of mortals. But when we look at this scene, it really is a very poor reflection of Embla’s character. Let’s look at the timeline we are given of Embla’s character thus far:

Chapter 13-1: Embla does not care about mortals and is alright with them dying from famine. Later, she is somewhat less indifferent, but only after they give her gifts.

Chapter 13-2: A single mortal tries to kill her. She kills him, and with Elm’s prodding, is easily convinced that all mortals are evil and power hungry.

That…does not make Embla truly sympathetic. In fact, it just shows us unfavorable facets of Embla’s character. Her opinion of mortals, who were plainly stated to be giving her gifts just one section ago, is instantly lowered because of the actions of one.

But with her disdain made clear in Chapter 13-1, there is an interesting case to be made for the assassin. Think about it. Already, she is implied to be an established Goddess with an existing kingdom. And yet, she was willing to let them perish. How many other times has she let the woes of reality plague her people without lifting a single finger? Could more people have died because of her inaction in the past, whether during the famine or before. Could this assassin have been acting in revenge because of her not intervening in helping him or his family, perhaps? While seemingly an out of left field assumption, it isn’t wholly nonsensical, as Embla is shown from the beginning to care little about mortals. So what the story apparently presents as a greedy mortal trying to take advantage of a goddess could very feasibly be another story; that of an underprivileged man who potentially experienced suffering, and is taking it out on a person of privilege. And this particular person of privilege had the power to help him and others, yet did not. Is this not a familiar circumstance in real life?

Chapter 13-3 has Embla consider Askr, and that he will be betrayed by the mortals. Admittedly, it appears to show she cares for him. Yet as we navigate the rest of her character and story, this is not as wholesome or loving as we would like to believe. There is a contract to getting her care, and it can easily be broken. She decides the mortals should all be killed, and even Elm tries to dissuade her from doing this, surprisingly. Yet she holds steadfast to her new goal.

Chapter 13-4 has Embla meet with Askr. One thing I’d like to add is that Askr says her meeting him is a rare occurrence. This says a lot about her. One of the few times she visits him, it has something to do with what she wants, something fueled by her beliefs alone. Because she wants him to follow her, without any concern for his own experiences. This just adds to how her love for him is conditional. It is not a strong showing of her love, not when she wants to get something out of him. And not when she instantly cuts him off when he simply disagrees. She claims he gives too much of himself to the mortals and they will only hurt him in the end. Askr assumes she says this out of concern for him and thanks her, but affirms his love for mortals and that he wants “to believe in them.”

Note at this point, Embla does not once mention the assassination attempt. So here, she apparently expects Askr to blindly follow her, yet accuses his devotion to mortals being blind. That is hypocritical of her. She cannot fault him for following the mortals endlessly but desire him to follow her without a single question or critical thought. This expands her selfish nature; she is to be listened to regardless of her lack of sense, while mere mortals are not to be granted this privilege. Instead of explaining herself, Embla instead decided Askr is not worthy of her care. She writes him off as being too different from her and leaves.

Chapter 13-5 has Askr confront Embla. He chastises her for her actions. He questions why she has taken “the precious lives of mortals…and to take control over their bodies, and possess them so…” He adds that the survivors of her realm escaped and came to him for aid. Embla yells at him to cease his talking, but Askr continues and says “you must speak with them, explain yourself.” This part made me pretty mad at Askr, despite me loving him deeply. He lists these terrifying actions Embla has committed, yet sees that a fitting consequence is for her to explain herself? Embla is no different from a tyrannical dictator. She has tortured people, brainwashed people, murdering any dissidents within her reach. She should be considered beyond explaining herself. Embla denies him and his offer of help, and even doubles down on her disdain for mortals by calling them “worthless”.

Now this is a very weird part in the story. Apparently, Embla’s disgusting actions towards humanity are an extension of her “pain”, according to Askr. We see him try to paint her as someone who actually loves mortals, and that she “may have a deeper love for them than I.” But what has she done or expressed in the story to aid Askr’s belief? Never once has she openly admitted she cared about them. Nor has she ever done anything onscreen to depict her helping them. But we are expected to believe Askr with no proof whatsoever. Now Askr’s claims make her even more angry. She childishly demands him to leave her alone and claims “if the mortals love you so, then so be it!” This is meant to show how hurt she is by the mortals, but it is incredibly disrespectful to them to act as if they as a whole are at fault for Embla’s descent into villainy. Yeah, how dare those evil humans try to protect themselves? How dare they try to avoid being tortured, brainwashed, and murdered? And all because one, one mortal, tried to kill her once. She condemns him and the mortals, and the cutscene comes to a close.

So what have we learned about Embla’s backstory? She was always a standoffish individual who is shown to have done little to nothing to help mortals, even before the assassination. And after the attempt, she goes overboard in hurting them.

And think about the demographics. She is hurting mortals regardless of circumstances. Old, young. People of all backgrounds. The sick and healthy. Families and single individuals. No one is spared from her cruel and senseless rage. She is fueled by a deep seated bigotry that flares up to the surface the moment that one person does not live up to her ridiculous standards of basic decency. One person essentially doomed humanity, and this is a completely unfair burden to place upon one single mortal. No, Embla cannot be seen as a victim. It is impossible for me. She is surrounded by love, between a devoted friend in the form of Askr, as well as the other mortals who we know for a fact gave her presents despite her aforementioned apathy towards them. She is a woman of privilege, a goddess of great power. She has wanted for nothing, never subjected to the cruelty of worldly suffering. If humanity can survive against all odds, if there are people who do good despite being hurt time and time again, why is it so easy for her to break down when suddenly one thing goes wrong? Embla is undoubtedly a bigot, spoiled by her gifts, and unwilling to shed her pride for the sake of others. Yet she is unable to think of others, what they go through. The world revolves around her.

Against Askr’s opinion, Embla does not live up to his picture of her life. She is a discriminatory person who persecuted an underprivileged population because of a single person, painting them all under the same brush. She is cruel, uncaring, and puts her feelings above all others.

I will publish a Part #2 of how she fails to be sympathetic, and this will concern her actions in the present story.

[thatswhatsushesaid]

i think you would appreciate the fact that, for all that it's generally considered to be mxtx's goofiest and wackiest work, svsss is like the only novel out of the three that has a whole ass video essay dedicated to it on youtube.

…..you’re right, this is extremely relevant to my interests. 👀 okay once i finally read it and finish it, i will be queuing up this video essay.

[1randomperson15]

Okay, show of hands, how many people tried to do the math problem and/or essay after the Bad Kids failed?

[loregoddess]

still working on my newest Octo2 analysis, and I JUST realized that Ophilia and Ochette--the leading O-characters in the OCTOPATH naming theme--both have the deepest ties to the Sacred Flame in each of their stories.

Ophilia literally carries part of the Flame around as her journey's main objective; and the Flame speaks directly to, and also saves, Ochette in her story.

I mean sure, there's the implication in both games that each set of eight travelers were each chosen by the gods, and it's more or less directly stated in Octo2 that part of the Flame burns in the hearts of all the travelers (and possibly all people, but especially the Chosen Travelers), so everyone has some connection to the Flame, but it is really neat that the leading O-characters are like, directly linked to the Flame.

[samble-movedd]

kyubey's main defense for "why do you cause the suffering and deaths of billions, if not trillions, of children?" is something about how the magical girl system (girls contracting, girls turning into witches, etc) creates energy to combat entropy and the heat death of the universe. while kyubey and incubators as a whole are presented as extremely advanced, logical, and emotionless as a species, this "defense" shows how irrational and paranoid they are.

the universe is still in its "early" years. it is not near its end or even its middle years in any sense of the word. entropy and heat death will not be any concern in the slightest for trillions of years, and that's an absolute low ball amount based on my pathetic math skill guess of the figures. the actual year estimates until heat death i can find all have numbers so large they aren't even written out normally, they're written using scientific notation. a few have said numbers listed like "1.7×10^106yrs (if protons decay)". that is a truly unfathomable amount of time.

yet the Facts And Logic, "why is human thought so irrational?" species is so worked up over this far future event (that is not an immediate threat in any way, shape, or form) that they use their irrational paranoia over it to justify murdering children and causing them to turn into the literal personifications of their own personal misery. "for the greater good" and "the ends justify the means" don't apply when the argument is this backwards.

even if you want to headcanon that maybe entropy was approaching at some point, and they had to beat it back before, which is why they're so worried — it's implied in canon that the present day pmmmverse is in no immediate danger. besides the fact that they'd likely be issuing contracts to literally anyone and everyone if that were the case, all that is said is that madoka witching out caps their necessary quota or something, so they don't need to worry about it for now. this sort of implies that it's not a current crisis, or else why would they stop the second they met this "cap"? why not continue elsewhere to get extra energy?

if incubators are immortal and are concerned for that reason, they have a literal infinite time to figure out a better or more convenient solution. current human theory already has questioned whether things like creating other/new universes intentionally is possible (and seeing that ours exist, "creating universes" is clearly possible Somehow). why not try to contact (adult) humans and exchange information or theories? sure, incubators are supposed to be highly intelligent and almost see humans as cattle, but they've been outsmarted by even human Children before in canon (madoka's wish being the prime example, and that was something thought out by a middle schooler). logic can only go so far, and this is said by someone who, irl, tends to look and act like the -_- emoji when not masking. humans could toss "dumb/silly" ideas at the wall, and incubators could use their advanced technologies and experience to see if they would work. perhaps a solution to escaping the universe/preventing heat death/etc could be found via cooperation, as opposed to "we must murder children because we are scared of something that will happen a zillion years from today, it's not our fault 🥺". many a human idea has been born simply out of "i wonder if this will work?" as opposed to only sticking to logical steps or only doing one thing forever, because you know that One thing For Sure works. even if it's tedious/more trouble than it's worth for the outcome. but incubators do not know or try this, because due to canon implications, it seems their MO has always been "lets murder the populace for miniscule amounts of energy" (as seen by the alien magical girl in one of the games) instead of "maybe we should try to find a solution together".

[veliseraptor]

Remembering my first introduction to Xue Yang and thinking about how methodical he seemed to me vs fanon version that is basically evil Wei Wuxian on speed.

No really you're so right he's normally calm and methodical. Just sometimes the universe tells him he fucked up and he's like "would you say that if I did this? *makes an utterly insane choice*"

ohhh this is something I have Thoughts on for sure. don't get me wrong! I think xue yang does have manic periods and will get into a mode where he's not sleeping for three days because he has a project to work on and sleep is boring, a-yao, leave me alone. but I think the degree to which xue yang is - prior to xiao xingchen's death - actually as unhinged as he's sometimes painted is...it's not pretending but it is playing up an aspect of his personality to make people uncomfortable or nervous or scared, both because it's how he makes damn sure he's not going to be forgotten or ignored (have talked about that elsewhere) and because it's what people expect from him, so why not.

(it also means people underestimate him and while I think xue yang has a kind of complicated relationship with that it is useful sometimes.)

I do think a solid 30% of xue yang's behavior is looking at what people expect from him, going "oh you are like a little baby. watch this" and doing worse. i.e. if people are going to assume he's basically a wild animal then he's going to be the meanest wild animal they've ever seen. I think the fact that he settles relatively easily into playing a role where that's very much not the case, where nobody is looking at him like that (or at least nobody who is in a position to look down on him, qingqing is too short), is somewhat indicative.

he has more control over himself and his behavior than most people realize; I think the perception (both in universe and in fandom) is that he's sort of a creature of id, driven purely by impulse and almost instinctual reaction, and I don't think that's actually accurate to what we see of him most of the time. he's certainly very clever, and good enough at what he does to attract the attention of powerful people. jin guangshan finds him valuable enough to alienate and anger another sect leader about it. give Xue Yang a puzzle and if he's interested he'll sit down and pick at it until he figures it out, unless it's too easy, then it's just boring.

it's also notable to me that when xue yang is angry at someone, he doesn't actually act immediately. he's very willing to wait and plan to figure out how to really twist the knife in someone. the choice to go after song lan's temple, and song lan himself, rather than directly targeting xiao xingchen, might be a practical one, but it's also a very deliberate and targeted attack that's aimed right at xiao xingchen's stated purpose: "you say you're here to protect people? look, you can't even protect your friend and his temple, and now they've suffered because of you." that's not, like, an immediate and explosive reaction, it's a very purposeful act that has thought and planning behind it.

now, does xue yang make impulsive snap decisions, frequently involving violence? sure. but the most notable of those is, I would argue, at the two absolute nadir moments of xue yang's life. the first one being when xiao xingchen finds out who he is and vehemently rejects him - xue yang's reaction there feels like much more of an instinctive lashing out, and it's happening because for the first time in his life since he was very young, someone who actually has the ability to hurt his feelings has hurt his feelings and it feels real bad! doesn't like that! so he reacts to make it stop, and then keeps going and pushing until xiao xingchen breaks, and then after that it's pretty clear to me that he sort of shocks back to reality and spends the next eight years going "no, wait, I take it back." or, well, trying.

and then also when he dies. when wei wuxian goads him about what he did to chang ping and the implications thereof regarding xue yang's own feelings of (unnacknowledged, unrecognized) guilt, xue yang absolutely loses it, gets reckless and careless and ultimately it's that, with a-qing's help, which gets him killed.

oh, wait, one other place I think xue yang loses control of himself and acts without really thinking it through, and that's killing a-qing. I have less textual evidence for this (though I don't think it's completely absent), but it's definitely my headcanon.

outside of those moments, though - aka the ones that get really bad - I don't think xue yang is as off the chain as he sort of...gives off the air of being. I don't know that I'd call him calm, but I would say that he has the ability, most of the time, to exercise at least a modicum of self control.

at least, before xiao xingchen's death. frankly, after that I think he does very much lose his mind a little, but, you know. I think that's understandable, under the circumstances.