#i turned to my friend who was with me and explained the whole official playlist situation and song lore

[lemonycranberries]

yesterday i was jumpscared when i was at the supermarket and out of nowhere smalltown boy started blasting

[msbigredmachine]

Warm (Jey Uso/OC)

An on-again, off-again couple takes the snowy ride to the next town together.

PAIRING: Jey Uso x OC

Word Count: 6.3k

Warning: The usual smut and everything in between.

A/N: First fic of the year! Enjoy!

Click here if you want to be on the tag list. If I’ve forgotten anyone please let me know so I can add you.

Credit to the owners of the pics and gifs.

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"Hey girl, got a sec?"

Looking up to see Nia standing right in front of her, Malia stood up straighter. The locker room was full of her friends and fellow wrestlers, all done for the evening and packing up to leave the arena. "What's up?"

"I totally forgot that I agreed to carpool with Maxxine after the show," she said as they exited the locker room together. "I'm really sorry, it totally slipped my mind."

"Oh, that sucks," Malia said, a little disappointed as Nia was great company. "It's no big deal. I'll figure something out."

"Are you sure? It's starting to snow out there. Will you be okay on your own?"

"Alone on the road with full control of the heating and my own playlist?" Malia laughed. "I'll be fine."

Nia nodded. "Okay. I feel bad, so I'll ask around and see if anyone needs a ride. That way you can split the bills and stuff," she offered, pausing when she looked over Malia's shoulder. "Oooh, look who's coming our way," she grinned.

Curious, Malia turned around, and her heart skipped a beat as Josh Fatu walked in their direction, his carry-on behind him and his phone in front of him. She plastered an unbothered expression on her face and turned back to Nia, but the Irresistible Force saw right through the facade.

"Girl, you're blushing already!" she cackled. "You and him still fucking?"

"No, I'm not blushing. And no, we're not fucking," Not lately anyway, Malia added to herself, fluffing her Afro as nonchalantly as possible.

"Liar. You two crack me up, you're totally in love with each other but keep acting like you're not. I did warn you about the whole friends-with-benefits thing."

She did. And Malia caught feelings and had been trying to run from those feelings since. But not with much success, given that she and Josh were both part of the Monday Night Raw roster and lived in the same goddamn city which gave him plenty of access to her. The problem was she was falling in love and he wasn't, so she tried to save face by imposing an extended 'break' from each other, under the guise of 'seeing other people'. Being alone with him on a long midnight drive wasn't going to help her cause to break away.

"It's a three-hour trip from here to Cleveland. Think you can hold off for that long if you go together?" Nia asked, a little too gleefully for Malia's taste.

"Stop with the slander. You make it sound like I'm this raging nympho," she rebuffed.

"When it comes to him? Yes! I've witnessed it! You jump each other's bones every chance you get. How you guys aren't official, I'll never understand. He's getting closerrrr," Nia sang, clearly enjoying the way Malia was trying not to squirm. "Let me go talk to him."

Malia started to panic as Nia moved towards him. "Where are you going?" she warned, "Nia, no!"

"Um, you want a ride or not? Hey, Joshyyyy!"

"Savelina!" Malia hissed, falling silent when Josh looked up from his phone, his gaze lingering on her for a long, tense beat before moving to Nia. "Sup ladies," he said, tipping his bearded chin up in greeting. His jaw moved repeatedly, and she saw he was chewing gum when he opened his mouth to speak. Juicy Fruit, she predicted. His favorite.

"I heard you're driving by yourself tonight," Nia said to him.

His eyebrows rose skeptically. "Yeah..."

"You want a passenger? Cuz my girl over here needs someone to ride with, in more ways than one..."

"Lina, shut up," Malia cut in, stepping in front of her and meeting Josh head-on. "Forgive our friend, Becky hit her in the head too many times tonight," she explained, her insides warming when Jey laughed. "I was supposed to carpool with bitch over here but she made other plans and left me stranded. So umm...if you're going alone, would you mind if I tagged along?" Why the fuck did she sound like she was asking him to Prom?

Again, the air around them simmered with an unknown element. When he took longer than usual to respond, her heart sank a little. "It's cool if you don't want to, I can find someone else-"

"Nah, it's all good, uce, you can come along," he spoke up with a smile. "But I'm 'bout to leave right now, so if you ready-"

"I am," Malia answered, a bit too quickly, and flushed with embarrassment when the corner of his mouth curled upward in a bemused smile. It was then she realized that Nia had disappeared, leaving the two standing alone in the empty hallway.

"Uhh...We should get going," Malia spoke up, scratching awkwardly at the nape of her curly Afro.

Josh nodded, pausing as his eyes scanned her up and down again. "This what you wearin'?" he inquired.

She made a quick, albeit thorough twirl to show off her outfit, a short, figure-hugging beige dress accompanied by a black pair of furry knee-high Uggs. "Yeah, why? What's wrong with it?"

"It's a lil' chilly, no? I mean, don't get me wrong, you look real good, it's just-" Catching himself, he trailed off nervously before he could say anything else inappropriate.

"My jacket is right here, I'll be fine. But if I do get too cold, I'm sure you can keep me warm." Her smile was syrupy sweet as she let the innuendo sink in. The awkwardness was melting away, leaving only the sexual synergy they were both accustomed to.

Josh chuckled to himself and stepped closer to her. "A'ight, I see what'chu tryna do," he said in a lower, huskier timbre that made her loins flutter. "Let's get outta here before I do sum'n we'll both like."

She wanted to ask what was stopping him but instead took the hand he held out to her. It was big and protective and the gentle way he rubbed his thumb over hers always made her feel safe. Together they left the building and into the indoor parking lot. He helped her put her things in the trunk of his Ford Expedition rental, and she fought the urge to stare at his ass when he bent over.

As they began their journey, her gaze landed on her on-again, off-again 'boyfriend', his own fixed on the road ahead. Wearing a fitting dual-colored Nike tracksuit, he looked yummy himself. The hand that had held hers was now on the steering wheel, and she found herself wishing it was touching her again but on a more risqué part of her body this time. They were on a 'break' but she envisioned a lot of difficulty keeping things platonic tonight.

"Since when do you listen to Bon Jovi?" She broke the ice several minutes later, talking over the eighties rock ballad that was playing on the radio and was surprised it hadn't been turned off. "You always used to tell me to change that shit," she laughed.

"They not so bad, they got some good workout songs," he defended with a shrug. "How come you didn't take a flight tonight?" he asked.

She gave a shrug of her own. "I don't know. I probably should have. But with the weather and everything, there'd probably be tons of delays at the airport. I would have ended up sitting there all night. How about you?"

"Same. I prefer the open road anyway," he replied. "Drive fast, blast some good music, you know what it is." He shot her a grin, making selections on the GPS. "Everything good? You comfortable?"

Smoothing her dress down her crossed legs, she nodded and tilted her seat back. "Yeah, I'm good," she responded.

"So how was Christmas? Whatchu do? Spend time with your man?" Josh asked.

Malia snorted and flipped her hair. "Ain't no man. He's an insecure bum so he's gone. I stayed with my brother and his family for a few days, played with my nieces, they're so big now."

He wanted to feel bad about the way his heart leapt for joy about her relationship status. "I told you he was a bum from the jump, uce," he mumbled.

"Well, you were right. Congrats," she bit sarcastically.

"I ain't wanna be right though. I just want you to be happy," said Josh, exchanging a glance with her, his stare filled with its familiar warmth that was charged with something else.

Being here is a bad idea.

"What about you? You were with your boys and their mom, I'm guessing," she kept the conversation going.

"More of the boys, less of their mom," he clarified.

"That's it? No woman to warm your bed?"

He snorted and shot her a bombastic side-eye. "If I remember clearly, you sent the last woman I was with packin', with your razor-sharp ass tongue."

Malia burst out laughing. "Ha, that bitch? She's a clout-chasing airhead. One conversation with her and my IQ got fucked up. Stop messin' with those NXT bimbos, Joshua. It's not a good look."

"Why you so pressed though?" He had an idea, but he wanted to hear it straight from the horse's mouth.

"I'm not pressed. You smarter than that. She wasn't good for you."

"And you know this, how?"

Because she ain't me. None of them are. "I just know," was all she said.

"Huh. We seem to 'know' a lot about each other," Josh noted, "So why don't you want us to stay together?" he asked.

And there it is. "You already know the answer," she responded, with a hint of attitude.

"No I don't, so how 'bout you fill me in, huh," he retorted. They had stopped at a red light so he now had all the time to look her in the eye.

Exhaling a heavy sigh, she refused to get suckered in. "Because. Your roster is deep enough as it is," she mumbled.

"What roster?"

Malia huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh, we gonna play dumb now? I'm not the only woman you're fucking, Joshua."

"The last person I had sex with was you, right before you dumped me for ol' boy," Josh replied, annoyance creeping into his tone.

"Correction. I did not dump you. Dumping implies that we were dating," Malia argued. "I distinctly remember you saying you weren't looking for nothin' serious, so it ain't dumping if there's no relationship to dump."

The silence that followed was deafening, even with the music playing. The temperature in the car plummeted several degrees. Josh simply shook his head. "Damn, that how you feel all this time? Okay then." he tsked, releasing the brakes as the light turned green. "A'ight. Note taken."

The hurt swirling in his voice surprised her. Rattled, she opened her mouth to speak, but wisely decided to close it back. Because there really was nothing to say. This was the consequence of getting involved with someone without setting clear boundaries; the result of repeatedly holding off the simple task of defining a relationship — nothing but uncertainty and heartache. It was the bed she made long ago and now she had to lie in it.

But oddly enough, that seemed to be the appeal of entanglements; the thrill, the warped sense of freedom to do whatever you wanted to each other with no strings. But intimacy always had its attachments, and Malia had been attached to Josh for a long, long time with no idea how to cut the strings without getting hurt.

"The snow seems to be getting worse," she changed the subject and with good reason. They seemed to be driving into a storm. The snowfall was heavier and the nearly empty highway was turning white. "Are you sure we'll make it into Cleveland like this?"

Her question was answered only a few seconds later, by the flashing lights and flares up ahead. A car wreck, and a bad one judging from the amount of fire, rescue, and police crews on the scene. As Josh slowed the car to a crawl, they were greeted by a gruesome tableau.

The many bright, flashing lights cast a grotesque glow on the crumpled remains of an SUV. A black bag, zipped and strapped to a stretcher, was being loaded into the back of an ambulance. Malia's eyes widened with horror. The mangled car was the same type as theirs, and the driver's seat was covered in blood, a lot of it splattered on the white snow. "Oh no...Babe..." she breathed.

Her voice was tiny. Scared. Josh grabbed her hand and squeezed it repeatedly to get her attention. "Ay, don't look. Look at me," he cajoled, waiting for her to do so, running his thumb over hers to quell her panic. "I'll take the next exit. Let's find somewhere to crash until morning." He cringed. "Bad choice of words. Sorry."

"You don't mind stopping?" she asked, feeling a little sick. There was no way she was going any further with what she'd just witnessed.

"Personally, I'd rather be late gettin' where I'm going than never gettin' there at all."

"I agree. I'll check if there's any available hotels nearby," she offered, reaching for her phone in the console.

"You good?" he checked on her again, his fingers flexing around hers.

"I'm okay. It's just...that was horrible," Malia shuddered. "But you calmed me down. You've always been good at that." She smiled gratefully at him.

"Mm-hmm," he mumbled, as he lifted the back of her hand to his lips in a gentle kiss. He then rested his hand on her bare leg, running it up her smooth chocolate skin. Ironically, her dress gave him perfect access to the sensitivity of her inner thigh, and he allowed his fingers to dance over it.

Malia cast her eyes down to watch his hand disappear under her dress. This was what she liked about him so much; his boldness, his sense of adventure. Only he could dare to touch on her while driving on a dark, sleety highway. "Boy, what are you doin'?" she asked as he squeezed her thigh. She tried to play it cool, tried to act like her skin had not been set ablaze by his touch.

"Keepin' you warm," he affirmed nonchalantly, as he slid his palm over her lace panties, his favorite on her, enjoying the feel of her moist warmth against the fabric. He had since learned that he couldn't stay mad at her for long. "I miss you," he whispered, breaching her underwear with one finger.

"I miss you too," she admitted, jerking as the finger slipped inside of her. "Oh, shit," she gasped, tilting her head back against the leather headrest.

"Phew, you wet as fuck," Josh whistled, eyeing up his ex with a Cheshire Cat-like grin. "Ol' boy wasn't fuckin' you like he should?"

Before she could answer, he slid another digit into her wetness, drawing another moan from her. She moved her legs further apart, causing her dress to ride higher up, and grabbed his wrist with both hands. "Fuck, yeah," she sighed, going slack in her seat.

Maybe it wasn't the brightest idea, Josh realized, as the sound of her wanton moans filled the car. As her pussy tightened around his fingers. He wasn't doing much for his own erect state by doing this, but the look on her face convinced him to keep going. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, keeping his eyes on the road. "How's that feel, hmm?" he asked.

The only response she could muster was another breathy moan while strengthening her grip on his wrist. She didn't want to come just yet, but between his fingers twisting deep inside her tightening core and the added heat rushing through her, she knew she wouldn't last long. She wanted this to last forever, just like every time she was with him; she clung desperately to every second, because each one was always better than the last. He just hit different. He always did.

The spell broke when she heard him curse and he abruptly stopped, slipping his fingers out of her. "The fuck?" she whined.

"Sorry, I had to," Josh explained, pointing. The smoky haze of passion and frustration cleared quickly enough for her to realize they had left the expressway and were now pulling into the parking lot of a hotel. Crossing her arms petulantly, she sat up straighter and pouted. "Goddamn tease. You ain't slick," she grumbled.

"Nope. But you are," he emphasized, holding up his fingers covered in her essence and bringing them to his mouth. "Mmm, sweet and spicy, like always."

His dirty snicker had her pussy clenching again. This man was going to be the death of her.

Parking the Expedition in front of the hotel door, they rushed in with their bags to the check-in desk and found the exhausted-looking receptionist behind the counter. It was clear they'd had a massive influx of people and that she was the only one handling everything.

"You're just in luck. We have one room left," the lady replied when Josh asked her if they had any vacancies. "It's probably our smallest room and only has one queen-sized bed, but it's perfect for a lovely couple like yourselves," she smiled warmly.

"We'll take it," Josh responded, handing over his credit card before Malia could reject it. Given the state of the weather outside and that horrendous crash they came across, it was likely the best, safest option.

They got the keycards and made a quick stop at the nearby Chipotle to get some food. Josh paid again, boxing Malia against the counter with his big frame and frowning menacingly at the cashier who had the nerve to flirt with her. Though there technically was no territory to mark, she didn't mind. Besides, it was cold outside and his body heat was inviting and much needed. Afterwards, they returned to the hotel and made it into the small room that was warm, toasty, and quite clean, making them feel a bit better that they wouldn't be stuck in some Bates Motel-type murder house.

"Last time we were stuck in a room together, we spent all afternoon working out how many pinning combinations we could make each other come in," Malia reminisced as she bit into her burrito.

"Yeah. I remember winning," Josh grinned proudly. "You can have the bed, by the way," he gestured to her. "Imma sleep on the couch, give you some space."

"Why?" Malia gave him a stern look. "The bed is big enough for both of us. Plus, your back will be fucked up if you sleep on that lil ass couch."

She wasn't wrong; the couch felt rather firm and it wouldn't be pleasant. Josh was trying to be a gentleman, but he ultimately agreed since driving tomorrow with a backache did not sound ideal.

After finishing their meals, they settled in, and Malia texted the Talent Relations rep to inform them of her and Josh's whereabouts. Unfortunately, the weather forecast on TV was pretty grim as they were expecting upwards of forty inches of snow. Getting to their destination in time tomorrow would be a tough ask.

Josh used the bathroom first to give Malia some privacy. When he re-emerged, she was stripped down to a short white bathrobe that did nothing to hide that body of hers, giving him a little peek of her voluptuous behind as she picked up her toilet bag.

Fuck.

"Babe, do you got a spare shirt I can sleep in?" She stood back upright, her throat drying up at the sight of his towel hanging low on his hips. She watched the rivulets of water drip down his tattooed chest and felt parched.

Josh swallowed. "Sure, I got somethin'." He crossed the room, reached inside his open luggage and pulled out a 'YEET' hoodie. "This okay?"

He gazed into her eyes, and Malia felt her knees quiver, almost like they were threatening to collapse beneath her. "Yeah, thanks," she smiled, taking the hoodie.

"You called me babe again." There was a small, teasing smile on his face.

Malia felt her face burn. "Oh, um...Yeah. Habit. Sorry..." Lost for words, she quickly departed, silently willing her limbs to not give out on her.

Waiting until the door had closed behind her, Josh sank down on the bed and tried to focus on the TV. He could hear her moving around. Brushing her teeth. Undressing. Rubbing his face, he groaned when he heard the shower start. After their argument in the car and what he did afterwards, his emotions were all over the place, and now they had to share this bed. Keeping his hands to himself was going to be a tough ask.

Keep your hands to yourself, Malia repeated to herself over and over as she finished up her skincare routine. It's just one night. Behave yourself. What happened in the car meant nothing.

Yes it did, the voice she fondly named 'Delulu', debated, He misses you, he said so himself. That's why he acted the way he did in the car. That's why he almost bit that cashier's head off in Chipotle.

She had a point. She recalled the full-blown lust in his eyes as he touched her, the eager movement of his fingers inside her as though he couldn't stop himself. Overall, it felt good to know he wasn't quite over her just as she wasn't quite over him.

Don't do it, her other voice, dubbed 'You Right' because it always was, warned. You're just his plaything, always have been. Why do you want to play house with a guy who doesn't love you like you love him? He just misses the pussy. That's it.

Good point.

But I miss the dick too! 'Delulu' pouted.

'You Right' rolled her eyes. Too bad. Take another shower, a cold one this time.

With a heavy sigh, Malia wrapped up her hair and put on her pajamas for the night. The hoodie was big on her, reaching her thighs. She decided against panties, having made up her mind about the voice she was going to listen to.

She returned to the warmth of the bedroom, instantly landing on the ruggedly handsome man stretched out on the left side of the bed. His favorite side. His gaze flickered from the TV to her, his lips twitching into a small smile.

"You make my merch look so sexy, baby," he commented.

"Why thank you Daddy," she replied, then froze, her eyes wide. Shit, did she just say that out loud? Judging from the heated look in his eyes, the answer was yes. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife as they regarded each other.

Sitting up straight in the bed, Josh clapped his hands. "A'ight, enough of this. Come here," he growled.

She thought he would never ask. She hurried to the bed and crawled towards him. He sat up straighter and reached for her, their lips crashing together before he had finished pulling her onto his lap. All the weeks of pent-up urges and desires came pouring out of them both as they kissed like the desperate, needy souls they had become. They only pulled back long enough to take off his t-shirt before they embraced again. His bronzed skin was warm underneath her palms, the touch of his hands seemingly burning through the hoodie onto her own.

Without breaking the kiss, Josh shifted so that they were lying on their sides, helping her tug his sweatpants down his hips. Once they were gone, he pulled her tightly against him as he slid his leg between hers, draping her top leg over his waist. He then pushed his hands under her hoodie, his fingers digging into her waist to grind her against his thigh. Malia smiled at his surprised gasp, his realization that she was wearing his merch and only that. She knew he could feel the moistness of her core, smearing his upper thigh as their kisses got even more heated. She let him pull off the hoodie, and Josh's eyes blazed with need as he gathered her right breast in his hand and devoured it with sucks and licks. Meanwhile her hand wrapped around his dick, stroking for a few moments before easing him inside her.

"Oh, shit," Josh froze, his expression slightly panicked, "I ain't got-"

"Calm down, I still got my IUD. You good." She kissed his lips and reared back a little, letting him push fully inside her, and he ripped his mouth from hers in a low groan and tucked his face in her neck.

"Fuck, Malia..."

She moaned with him, gripping his muscular shoulders as he moved inside her, and groaned again when his hand scraped down her back to squeeze her ass cheek tightly.

"Mmmph..."

"Yeah, I know you like that," he whispered, slapping her ass this time, his breath hot and heavy against her face. "Say my name baby, call out for me."

"Joshua...Daddy..."

"Mm-hmm, I love it. God, you're fuckin' beautiful," he said, his voice rough with need as he tongue-kissed her slowly, matching his grinding thrusts, sending chills running all over her body.

"Ohhh," she gasped, tensing in his arms, bewildered by her desire for him.

"Relax. I gotchu," he promised with another hungry, borderline sloppy kiss. He was nearing the pit of her stomach with his lengthening strokes, but he wanted more. He held up her thick thigh, automatically sliding him even deeper inside her. A big smile lit up his face as her mouth fell open; he knew she could feel all of it, the head of his dick toying with her g-spot, her breathing quickening as her slick moisture made its presence known with every push of his dick into her.

"Hear that?" Josh whispered, "Hear how wet you are?"

Malia dug her nails into his skin, staccato breaths pulling from her lungs as he rammed up into her again and again. "Shit," she whined, "Aw fuck, please don't stop," she begged, tears gathering in her eyes at the thought of him ceasing his actions.

"I ain't stoppin' baby." He couldn't seem to stop kissing her, doing it again as he increased his speed, his dick all up in her wet pussy. The sensations were dizzying, taking her to another dimension. "Uuuunh," she cried out with a shudder, the flutter of her pussy around his cock sending shockwaves of pleasure through her.

"You wanna come, babe? Wanna come for Daddy huh?" He pressed his forehead against hers, his hypnotic eyes holding her gaze as her whimpers for him grew louder. "Come, Malia," he urged with gritted teeth, his heart pounding from the emotions vibrating through him. "Come, baby girl. Nut on Daddy's dick. You look so beautiful when you come."

Malia heard what sounded like waves crashing in her ears. Immediately her body seized up, and her voice was a high-pitched cry as the pleasure ripped through her. Moaning his name repeatedly, her head fell back and she saw stars as the bliss took over.

Man, she missed being touched like this, kissed like this...fucked like this.

Still trembling, she was vaguely aware of him pulling out, letting her leg down and rolling on top of her. Stroking her face, he stared at her with a mix of wonder and tenderness and something else she couldn't quite determine in his eyes.

"What?" she pressed.

Josh licked his lips, looked away for a second and then back at her.

"I love you."

She expected to be shocked, stunned by his declaration. Instead, it felt more like a eureka moment, like she had finally cracked a passcode she had been struggling with for eons, like the world had at last righted itself after an eternity of confusion.

"What took you so long?" she asked, emotion seeping through her tone.

"I don't know," he confessed, and when her brows furrowed, he elaborated. "I just know I can't do this no more. I'm fuckin' tired. I been feelin' this way for too long. You the only one that makes me feel like this."

"Like how?" she breathed. She wanted to hear it, wanted to know if his agony has been anything similar to hers for the past couple of months.

"Like I'm empty inside when I'm not with you. Even when I'm with someone else, I feel like I'm cheating on you," he went on, suddenly feeling free, unburdened. "I can't stop thinking about you, can't function...I don't just want sex, Malia. That's all good but I wanna be your man. For real this time. I want you."

There it was again, that intensity in his eyes that never failed to steal what was left of her breath. If this was a dream, she did not want to wake up. "I love you too. I wanna be with you. Let's not break up ever again. I don't like not being around you," she admitted.

"Same here," he said, covering her mouth with his. This kiss was so passionate, so deep and all-consuming, that she struggled to hang on to her sanity. She groaned against his mouth as he found his way back inside her with a couple of swift, seamless strokes. Her wetness instantly enveloped him again, prompting his hips to roll seemingly on their own accord. Malia wound her arms around him, holding him as close to her as possible. There was no more talk after that, letting their bodies do the talking, writhing together as if they were meant to exist that way.

"Wrap your legs around me, baby," he told her.

Immediately, she wound them around his waist with her ankles locked tight behind his lower back as he rocked into her. She moved with him, matching his tempo in a sweet symphony. There was no space between their flesh; and whatever tiny space remained was closed off with delicious, decadent kisses with lots of tongue. They savored every second in each other, every gasp and moan they elicited from the other. Her wetness compromised the friction between them as his dick slipped in and out of her with ease that still kept her walls snug and taut around him.

"God, you feel so good, baby," she moaned in his ear, weaving her fingers through his soft hair, anchoring him to her as though fearful that he would slip away at any given moment.

"I can feel you dripping all over my dick. You make me wanna pound this good pussy," he mumbled against her neck, his tongue swiping over her heated skin.

"Then pound it," she murmured, spearing him with a hot, hungry look when their eyes met. "Pound my pussy, Daddy, I need it," she practically begged, her voice a pleading whine.

"Bet." Caressing her thighs for a few seconds, he then propped her legs on each of his broad shoulders. Her gaze met the ceiling, clouded over with lust as he hunched over her, working his big dick in her. All she could see within the bluish hue of the small room was his larger, muscular body looming over her, like a glowing, almost nightclub-like dreamscape. His chest tattoos were a beautiful mural that she couldn't stop herself from worshiping, and she leaned up to drag her tongue along his nipple, flicking the hard bud playfully as she caressed his triceps. She was rewarded with harder snaps of his hips, his balls mashing against her ass from how deep he was digging. Every time she tried to look at it, she would grow weak from the sensitivity and fall back against the bed.

"Fuck, Joshua..."

"Mmhmm, I know it feel good. Your tight little pussy is creaming for me," he rasped. Holding her down to the bed, he circled his hips while buried in her for good measure, making her pussy greedily grip the entirety of his girthy length and wringing moans of pleasure from both of them. Dipping her hand down between her thighs, she rubbed on her clit only for her eyes to roll back as an intense fire lit inside her like a firework. Then, clearly intending to destory her, he sat back on his knees and wrapped his arms around her thighs, holding them to his chest as he thrust faster and harder.

"Oh my god," Malia sighed, planting one hand up against the headboard to steady herself. She could feel her breasts bouncing recklessly with each stroke, felt his long fingers grab one and massage it in his hands, then the other, arousing her even more. His dick pulsed inside her as she tightened around him with increasing frequency. She willingly let him take her as he wanted, because she wanted to feel all of him, savor the sight of him breaking down and plunging headfirst into that secret place of pleasure that belonged to them and them alone.

The tricky part was Josh wanted to take her there first. He switched up again by pinning her knees into the pillow on either side of her head, opening her wide. He fucked her like a man possessed, the force of his movements knocking the bed hard and repeatedly against the wall. His hard, pounding thrusts had her pushing her face into the pillow and screaming into it. They hoped the room was soundproof. Either way, he didn't stop, not until the coil inside her body unraveled, and Malia screamed again as she came, hard and hot, her orgasm flushing through her like a tidal wave. It was the sweetest, the realest, the product of the joining of not just their bodies, but something deeper, too.

Josh must have been thinking the same thing, because when he stopped to stare her down again with those beautiful eyes of his, they glittered with warmth and affection. They gazed at each other, the stunned joy of their shared feelings morphing into something richer, something fiercer. He really did love her, she could see it right there on his face. She didn't quite know how she managed to miss it before.

The air between them thickened as they remembered they were still naked and entwined. Reverting back to their primal, passionate state, Josh moved again, thrusting all up in her dripping tightness. Malia gripped his hips to pull him deeper, her fingers digging into the flesh of his ass as he pounded into her with newfound ruthlessness. The mattress squeaked underneath them, mixing with their moans and whimpers and the wet slapping sounds of their bodies. He was close; his strokes became increasingly erratic, his grunts heavier and more vocal, his cock pulsing inside her pussy and his balls tightening.

"Fuuuck, I'm comin' baby, come catch this nut," he pulled out of her and quickly straddled her torso, stroking his dick in her face. Malia opened her mouth wide and poked out her tongue, watching his gorgeous face twist in painful pleasure as he unloaded in her mouth, thick spurts of his salty sweet cum flooding her tongue. Completely turned on, she rubbed herself with one hand and grabbed his dick with the other, stroking him harder to milk him to the last drop. His deep, throaty groan broke her all over again, plummeting her into another incredible orgasm, brought on by the sheer power of his.

Josh's chest heaved as he watched her slap his dick on her open tongue, coated white with his release. He then ordered in a husky voice, "Swallow it."

Malia obeyed heartily, slipping his cum down her throat then gently sucked him off for a couple of seconds, moaning softly from the unique taste of him mixed with her. Josh fought off the urge to nudge his dick deeper into her mouth and pulled away to lie down next to her. The realization of what had just happened must have hit both of them at the same time, because with one glance at each other, they burst out laughing.

"Damn," was all she had the energy to utter, allowing him to pull her against him as their joint laughter rumbled between them. He fucked the shit out of her. She felt like a brand new woman, even now, as he ran his hands all over her body, gifting her with a breathless kiss to her succulent lips. "I guess Lina's plan worked," she giggled, snuggling against him.

"Yeah," Josh agreed, his features suddenly serious as he carefully tucked a loose piece of her hair back underneath her scarf. "I ain't like how you be pushin' me away, Malia," he grumbled, "Don't be scared of us and what we got."

Not for the first time, she wished she'd been brave enough to express her true feelings. "It's not you I'm scared of... I'm scared of us falling apart if we become serious, and I don't wanna live without you," she confessed.

Josh chuckled and pressed his mouth to each of her palms. "You already can't," he smirked.

She rolled her eyes good-naturedly and smacked his arm. "You don't gotta agree."

"It's the truth though. But like I said, I love you and I'm not going anywhere. I mean that," he promised.

Hearing those three words from him again made her feel all giddy inside. "I love you, too," she whispered, smiling softly against his lips when he dropped a tender kiss to hers.

"How long's it been since we last fucked?" he inquired.

Two months and three weeks, but who was counting? "Couple of months," she answered, keeping it cool.

"Shame on us. I think we can make up for it, right?"

Malia raised an eyebrow when he started to crawl down her body, sprinkling butterfly kisses down her belly until his head was between her legs. Her body flushed with need. "You know we need to go to bed, right?" she questioned, her fingers sneaking into his hair despite her half-hearted protest.

"I know. But this pretty pussy is callin' my name." He winked at her and bit gently on her inner thigh, dangerously close to her throbbing treasure, soothing the skin with a wet lick. Her keening moan was all he needed to hear. "Now lay your sexy ass back and let Daddy eat."

And with that, he bent his head and spread his mouth over her, wiping every rational thought she owned with mind blowing pleasure.

THE END

-----------------

So...did you like it?

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Thank you all so much for reading!

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[casspurrjoybell-18]

Mutual Desire - Chapter 71

*Warning - Adult Content*  

"Um, is everything okay between you two? I felt some sort of tension."

Damien wanted to tell Nick that whenever he and Craig happen to be in the same room there is always tension but he refrained, not wanting to start a topic of conversation that wasn't going to go anywhere.

"What are you doing here, Nick?" Damien said, unfairly upset.

Nick put a hand on his chest, pretending to be hurt.

"Ouch. What a way to welcome me. Someone got up on the wrong foot I see. And your eyes are red. Have you been drinking?"

"I have to go Nick," Damien informed him as he stared walking, leaving his best friend behind. "I have a supper for Sam's birthday waiting for me."

Damien was almost at the door when he took his phone out of his pocket to check the time 7:03 p.m. was displayed on the screen.

He still had time to arrive on time and be there to yell ‘SURPRISE’.

"Hey, wait a minute," Nick called out.

Damien turned to face his best friend who had followed him to the door.

He was starting to get impatient and just like with Craig, he was trying to control his irritation.

"First, you're going to explain why you didn't answer my texts or calls."

So much had happened in such a short time that Damien had completely forgotten that Nick had tried to contact him.

"I was in a hurry to get ready for Sam's supper and I didn't pay attention to my phone. And now I'm going to be late if you keep holding me back."

Damien was about to turn around but was stopped by Nick's protests.

"Wait wait." Nick said, raising his voice.

"This supper thing isn't going take the whole night, is it?"

Damien sighed in irritation and looked at his phone screen as some sort of reflex.

"I doubt it. It's at Andrea's parents and I don't see..."

"Who's Andrea?"

Another irritated sigh escaped Damien.

"Sam's fiancée. You know, the one who invited you to the wedding by handing you the card in person?" he said condescendingly and annoyingly.

"Oh. Yeah that's right. The mute is getting married in August," Nick reminded himself.

Damien rolled his eyes.

Nick tended to call Samuel ‘the mute’ because Samuel hardly ever speaks.

"Okay then. Text me when your boring supper is over. Gianni and Elio managed to book a booth at the last minute at Neon Sky. I've gotten some pretty good news today," Nick said with a huge smile on his face.

Three thoughts crossed Damien's mind.

The first was for his disdain for Nick's two close friends, Gianni and Elio.

He thought they were pretentious, loudly obnoxious and lacked tact.

The second thought was for the ‘Neon Sky’ club.

Damien remembered how he had found the DJ's playlist was an absolute killer, so much so that he had thought about hitting the dance floor, something he never did at the club.

The third thought was for this good news Nick claimed to have received.

Damien was particularly anxious and had his guard up, because he knew that this good news must necessarily have a link with Nick's work, therefore with the software and therefore with Nabokov.

Damien had just realized an important thing he hadn't taken into consideration when he said his farewell to Nabokov.

His memory suddenly came back to him and, alas, much too late.

He bitterly remembered Nabokov's condition so that Nick's project could be part of his choices.

With everything that had happened, it had gone completely over his head and he had unconsciously buried this unpleasant memory deep in his memory.

The Russian man's degrading condition was one night of fucking and now that it was official that Damien had no intention of sacrificing his body, it obviously meant that Nabokov wasn't going to go through with his end of the bargain.

"Good news?" Damien Clark asked intrigued.

Nicolas D’Alonzo's big arrogant and amused smile lit up his face and it did nothing to calm Damien's apprehensions who was doing everything to not show his nervousness.

"I might be in a good position for a possible promotion," Nick announced proudly, his ocean eyes dancing with joy.

"A promotion?" Damien repeated, trying to maintain the same enthusiasm as his best friend but failing.

Damien didn't like the turn this conversation was taking.

"Yeah. I'm gonna celebrate tonight and get fucked up," Nick informed, his smile widening by the second, making him look like a kid on his way to Disneyland.

This news of a possible promotion had surely been announced before Alexander Nabokov and Damien spoke to each other.

Now that the Russian man knew it was Craig Damien had chosen, it was only a matter of time before Nick found out that Damien had lied to him and that Nabokov had never officially selected his project among his choices.

Damien was totally fucked.

Completely fucked.

"So, you're possibly in line for this promotion because your software was picked?" Damien asked, adding salt in the wound, as if he wanted to torture himself even more.

Nick nodded with excitement and pure joy that pinched Damien's heart.

His already distressed mood darkened further.

"Yeah and it's all thanks to you, Dam. Ask me whatever you want."

Damien was aware that he could no longer go on like this.

He had to tell Nick the truth.

"Listen Nick, I have something I need to tell you and..."

The ringing of a phone cut off Damien rudely.

It was Nick's because of course it was.

Nick answered the call and Damien took advantage of his best friend's inattention to go back in his living room and take a seat the sofa, leaving Nick alone next to the door.

From a distance, Damien could hear Nick's voice but not what he was saying.

Damien sighed and closed his eyes.

He definitely couldn't have even one moment of peace today.

As soon as Nick was done with his phone call, Damien was going to get everything off his chest.

He now had no intention of keeping secrets from his best friend and he fully understood that the time had come to be honest and take that weight off his shoulders.

Damien was aware that it would take him a lot of courage to be able to tell Nick the truth.

He was about to take a huge risk concerning his friendship with Nick since there was a good chance that Nick wouldn't forgive him his lies as well as his relationship with Nabokov.

It was a safe bet that the friendship between the two men was going to take a hit and maybe even break permanently.

Damien couldn't bear imagine his life without Nicolas in the picture.

The two best friends had once been apart for almost a year and Damien had found it unbearable.

He didn't want to go through that again.

"What were we talking about?" Nick's voice startled Damien who hadn't heard him cross the living room, far too lost in his thoughts.

Nick was standing in the same place where Craig was a few minutes ago.

His eyes were on his phone and he seemed to be texting, his fingers moving fast across the screen.

Damien was staring at his best friend, his gaze completely blank, as if he were looking through Nick.

Nick, after a few seconds spent giving his attention to his phone, raised his head and laid his eyes on Damien who was looking at him just as much, his expression lost.

"Damien? Are you okay?" Nicolas D’Alonzo asked worryingly, with a slight raised eyebrow.

Damien Clark heard Nick but he was unable to answer him.

He was just staring at him, as if he were under the influence of heavy medication which made him completely numb.

It was as if Damien realized that there was a good chance that he would soon lose Nick permanently and that Nick would break off their friendship when he heard of the secrets Damien had kept from him.

He was afraid of losing his best friend, his brother. His heart was pounding against his chest like a drum.

"Did you find out you were pregnant or what?" Nick scoffed to ease off the atmosphere that had suddenly grown heavy.

Damien had no reaction.

The only movement coming from him was the blink of his eyes. Nick's amused expression quickly changed to worry and confusion.

"Okay, you're scaring me now. What's going on? You look awful," Nick said, alarmed, an uncharacteristic serious look on his face.

"Craig left me, it's over," Damien said suddenly, his voice choked.

Total amazement arose on Nick's face.

He opened his mouth slightly, but no sound came out.

"Oh. Fuck," Nick muttered under his breath.

Damien finally looked away and lowered his head.

He had found it best to start at the heart of his confession with his breakup with Craig and gradually move on to his relationship with Nabokov.

It was as if, subconsciously, Damien was delaying the unveiling of his most cumbersome secret as long as he could.

"I didn't expect that," Nick admitted, visibly in shock.

Damien rested both elbows on his thighs and he covered his face with both hands, giving the impression that he was meditating.

"Is there still a chance for things to work out between you two?" Nick asked with a hint of hesitation in his voice.

This question wasn't difficult to answer.

Damien was aware that the chances of Craig returning with him were next to zero.

"No," he whispered, shaking his head.

"You're sure? There's probably a..."

"I cheated on him, Nick," Damien interjected, now looking his best friend straight in the eye.

Nick's eyes widened and his eyebrows rose.

"What?" he exclaimed, amazed.

Damien looked away, staring into the void in front of him.

He knew it was going to be an emotionally draining ordeal to confess everything to Nick but he didn't expect to feel so torn inside.

"But why Damien?" Nick asked, his tone soft and concerned.

Why?

Damien thought that there were so many possible answers that were as pathetic and sad as one another.

‘Because I'm an asshole. Because someone pissed in my brain. Because I've never been good enough for Craig.’

That's what Damien would have liked to answer but he did nothing of the sort.

"I don't know, Nick. I don't know," Damien whispered, shaking his head again, his gaze lost.

Damien ran his hands over his face to his neck.

He felt Nick's gaze on him.

A gaze that must have been loaded with pity and confusion.

"I thought you loved him," Nick said tenderly.

"I still love him, Nick," Damien corrected in a whisper.

Damien could barely speak.

Every word he said was like a punch to his stomach.

Telling someone out loud and for the first time about his break-up with Craig made it all the well too real and Damien felt like he was finally facing the reality from which he was protected by his illusions that Craig would forgive him one day.

"So why Damien?"

Damien didn't give an answer to his best friend.

He hid by putting his face in his hands and closed his eyes.

He hadn't expected Nick to ask him such harsh questions.

Damien loved Craig more than anything and he had no doubts about that.

During their three-year relationship, Craig had been the dream boyfriend, and Damien's love for him had only grown over the years.

Yet despite this passionate love, Damien had fallen victim to his almost mystical sexual attraction to Alexander Nabokov, even going so far as to commit the irreparable.

So, could one say to love someone but cheat on them?

Damien was dying for an answer because he felt like he was totally contradicting himself.

The silence had lasted for a while with Damien who seemed unwilling to engage in his conversation with Nick by refusing to answer him.

Nick didn't insist since he didn't say a word but Damien knew he was still in the living room a few feet away from him without even seeing him.

He liked the fact that Nick wasn't rushing him and blasting him with questions.

It was the ringing of Damien's phone that broke the silence.

Very slowly, Damien pulled his phone out of his jeans pocket and watched Dimitri's name appear on the screen.

He placed his phone, which continued to ring, on the table and hide again, covering his face with his hands.

Dimitri was probably calling to find out if Damien was on his way to Sam's supper.

By the time Damien had decided to be truthful with Nick, he knew he wouldn't be able to go to the supper anymore.

Not only was he going to be late but he wouldn't be in a good state of mind to celebrate anything.

He knew he should've told Dimitri the moment he knew he wouldn't be able to show up again but that was the least of his worries.

Now he didn't have the strength to talk which is why he let his phone ring and vibrate loudly on the table.

He could have rejected the call, but he didn't want Dimitri to find out that he had intentionally ignored him.

The ringing and vibration finally ceased, bringing back the silence that was then broken immediately after by Nick's voice.

"Hey Dimitri. It's Nick... yeah, um Damien isn't feeling too well. He won't be able to make it to the supper... no don't worry, everything's fine... yes... I'll tell him... okay... bye."

Without even seeing it, Damien realized that Nick had taken Dimitri's call.

He mentally thanked his best friend for the gesture because it was one less thing he didn't have to do though he knew he would have to explain himself to Dimitri and Samuel sooner or later.

"Damien." Nick gently put his hand on his best friend's shoulder.

Despite this affectionate gesture, Damien stayed in his bubble, his thoughts racing all over in his head.

"I’ll be out of your hair. When you're ready, call me, okay?"

Damien couldn't let Nick go.

He still hadn't told him the truth and Damien knew he had to do now without losing anymore time.

He had to.

Damien couldn't postpone it for later like some overdue dirty dishes that needed to be washed.

The more time he took at holding the truth, the less chance he had of being forgiven.

Yes, the truth had to be told.

Damien cleared his hands over his face and his eyes rested on Nick's back who was about to leave.

[velvetcloxds]

AND WHATEVER COMES AFTER THAT| K.M.

Pairing: Klaus x Fem!Reader

Word count: 1991 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Klaus has been trying to convince the reader to be with him for years, but has always failed. At the end of one of Elijah's peace parties, Y/n finally gives in.

“For the lady…” Rebecca says with a smile, holding out my glass of wine for me.

“Thank you,” I say, taking the glass in my hand before refocusing my gaze on the dancefloor where the last few people are still keeping up with the silly beat of the current 60’s song. “You’d think they would have given up by now.” I say, laughing softly as I point down to where Hailey and Elijah are dancing, attempting to keep a somewhat respectable distance between them. Rebecca smiles and moves to rest her glass on the banister of the balcony.

“You’d also think he’d have officially made a move by now, but my big brother does things in his own little way.” She tells me, smiling still as her eyes linger for a sweet second on Marcel Gerard who is making quite the show of the way he’s twirling around his date, her dress shifting higher up her thigh with every turn. Rebecca scoffs softly, taking another large sip of her drink.

“He’s not the only one.” I say with a raised brow, her glass making a soft clinking noise against her ring when she grips onto her glass tighter, eyes drawn tight to show me she’s not exactly pleased with my statement.

“I don’t know what you’re implying, Y/N, but I’d remind you to think very carefully about what you’re going to say next,” She says and turns to face me, leaning forward to make sure I could hear her. “You may very well be my dearest friend and my brother may very well be completely smitten with you, but I’m not above kicking your ass.” She tells me and though her words would prompt a serious tone, I catch the little smile that slips onto her lips when our eyes meet.

“I have yet to see you try, Rebecca,” I offer in reply, laughing lightly as she shakes her head. “Besides,” I start, taking a sip of wine before handing her my glass. “I’d have to remind you that you’d be ruining your own clothing in the process.” I tell her as I move to do a slow twirl and she gasps softly, taking in the Audrey Hepburn inspired ensemble, the black dress and gloves being something that Rebecca had kept from her time spent in the actual decade. Her shock sinks into a small grin as she looks me over, eyes lingering on the pearl necklace we brought at a secondhand boutique last week.

“You look perfectly in place,” She tells me and nods towards the hallway behind us. “Maybe you could convince my brother to step out of his hole long enough to save you a dance.” She says and squeezes my arm softly as she passes by me, losing the glasses on her way down the stairs where she calmly clears the last few guest from the dancefloor and out the door, waving quickly as she closes the door of the ballroom behind her.

I smile, the music seeming louder somehow now that I’m alone in here and I find myself almost drifting down the stairs. I hum to myself, dancing towards the drink table. Swaying to the rhythm as I start pilling empty platters and used plates together.

“You missed the party,” I say softly, not stopping what I’m doing as I hear him still on the balcony above. “It was quite the turnout.” I add, stepping back from the table to look up at him, his lips tilting into a lopsided grin when he sees me.

“My apologies, love,” He shrugs eyes darkening as they slowly make their way from my lips downwards, lingering for a second on the pearls around my neck before slipping lower and lower, until he clears his throat softly, meeting my gaze in an instant. “I clearly had no idea what I’d be missing out on.” He tells me, voice low as he pulls a hand through his hair.

“Maybe you should come down here and get a better look.” I offer, tone matching his as I step back even more, slowly making my way to the dancefloor where he meets me in mere seconds, hands carefully resting on my waist as I move slowly to sway to the gentle melody, eyes glued to his as he lets out a soft breath.

“You are…” He starts, moving a hand to carefully take hold of mine. “Ravishing,” He whispers, the sound sending an almost electric shiver down my spine as he lifts my hand to his mouth where he places a delicate kiss to my palm, not once breaking eye contact. “Tell me..” He begins, using his teeth to carefully pull the glove away, holding my bare hand tightly in his own as he leads me into a dance. “Why won’t you be mine, Y/n?” He asks, holding me against him as he dips me backwards slowly, carefully turning us together before pulling me up to be but inches from his face. “Why won’t you let me love you?” He asks, keeping hold of my waist as he turns me around in his arms where he nimbly lifts my hand in the air, removing the other glove as he attentively traces the length of my arm until I can feel his skin against mine, the glove dropping soundlessly to the floor as I tilt my head to the side to see him.

“We’re dangerous together,” I tell him, carelessly letting him guide my hands to where he needs them and numbly allowing him to spin me out and then in before once again coming face to face with him. “We’d hurt each other,” I say, moving with him as we move one step forward and one step back, twirling and then repeating. “You’d hurt me.” I say, momentarily leaning back against him halfway through the twirl.

“I would never,” He offers and pauses as well, risking the loss of the rhythm to touch my cheek and gain my attention. “I could never.” He adds and I turn around in his hold.

“That’s what they always say,” I say and move my hands to his shoulders where I lead him into the same steps as earlier. “They always promise me forever,” He holds my waist delicately. “They never mean it.” I tell him, his eyes darkening as he tries to read my emotions.

“I am not them, my love,” His eyebrows knit together as he looks me over. “I will gladly give you forever and always and whatever comes after that. I love you. I burn for you,” He announces simply and I let out a shaky breath. “Can you truly say that you don’t feel the same? Tell me you don’t feel anything at all for me?” He asks, voice raw as he waits for a reply and I shake my head, dropping my hands to the side when he suddenly released me from his hold, looking to the sky as he shakes his head as well.

“Klaus,” I begin, pulling at the pearls to release the necklace from my neck, it along with the very obvious tension in the room making me feel like I’m suffocating. “I do feel the same. I feel everything and more, but it doesn’t change the fact that I can’t do this. I can’t possibly give you the power to hurt me.” I drop the pearls to the floor as I fold my arms around me, the playlist coming to an abrupt stop when the slow song ends.

“I understand,” He says after a moment, looking around the room, eyes scattering through the mess of dirty glasses and plates and coats that were left behind. “We should probably allow the staff to clean this place,” He tells me and forces a slight smile when our eyes meet. “Give me a moment to retrieve your things from upstairs and I’ll walk you home.”

“You don’t have to do that.” I say, guilt filling my heart as I see the hurt in his eyes that he couldn’t possibly hide from me even if he had attempted to do so.

“I know,” He says, picking up the fallen gloves and carefully handing them to me. “I want to.” He says, giving me a soft wink before walking up the stairs.

I let out a shaky breath as I pick up the pearls as well, folding them into the gloves to keep them safe and before my mind could even process the thought, I’m walking up the stairs, following the sound of his heartbeat that leads me to the room he spent the night in hiding away from the guests.

I use my foot to carefully push open the slightly ajar door, Klaus’s silhouette visible at the end of the room where he pushes handfuls of paintbrushes into cups of water as an overturned painting rests against the dresser.

“I couldn’t leave them uncleaned,” He informs me, my own heartbeat probably giving me away. “I got distracted downstairs is all, completely slipped my mind.”

“It’s okay,” I say and he looks at me quickly to nod before going back to his brushes and I walk to the center of the room, pulling at the string to turn on the light and get a better view of everything. “You were painting?” I ask, now noticing not just the one canvas, but a whole collection of them, all scattered and resting against multiple pieces of furniture.

“I felt remarkably inspired.” He comments shyly and I smile.

“By what?” I ask, mindfully reaching to turn around the largest of the canvases, the one I saw first and I can’t prevent the audible gasp that leaves my lips when I see the beautiful medley of colors that he’s somehow managed to create my face with.

“You.” He answers absentmindedly, shrugging slightly as he waves my coat and purse in the air to show me that he’s found it amongst everything in here. I smile, bending down to take it all in, every brushstroke and color, every piece of himself that he used to create every stroke of me.

“This is beautiful, Klaus.” I laugh softly, holding the hand with the gloves to my heart as a sudden rush of emotions run though me.

“The painting is only as beautiful as the muse who inspired it,” He comments simply, looking at me sweetly. “I don’t think I could ever verbally explain how much you mean to me, how much I care, how much you’ve changed me purely my existing. I don’t think I could ever completely fathom how remarkable you are and how extremely lucky I am that by some strange twist of faith I’ve been lucky enough to know you,” He laughs softly as well, smiling sheepishly as he catches my gaze. “I want to live my life with you, and I’d wait however long it takes for you to feel the same.”

“Forever?” I ask, standing up and placing the gloves onto the dresser beside me. He nods.

“And always.” He adds and I smile, the dreadful and fearful feeling in my stomach slowly dissolving.

“What about just one more minute?” I ask and he tilts his head, smiling as I slowly make my way towards him, pausing only for a second before cupping his face in mine. “Thirty seconds,” I say and he holds onto my arms. “Ten seconds,” I whisper, his forehead against mine. I breathe out slowly, nodding when our eyes meet, silently asking for permission before his lips delicately meet mine. My entire body filling with butterflies as he pulls away and I smile. “Let’s get married…” I say and his chest vibrates lightly as a happy laugh fills the air, pulling back slightly just to see me.

“Are you sure?” He asks carefully and I nod, pulling him closer to me again.

“I am yours, Niklaus Mikealson. Forever and always.”

“And whatever comes after that.”

Hi there, more of my work can be found on Wattpad under @mjoubertt. Mxx.

Masterlist

[hmspogue]

Outer Banks season 2 Official Trailer shot-by-shot rundown

A comprehensive post where I scream about analyze the entire trailer frame by frame for clues, theories, and plot. Just my own opinions and general tin foil-hatting

These are screenshots from Netflix’s trailer for Outer Banks season 2. I do not claim or own any of these.

note: this post is tagged as a long post if you wish to avoid having to scroll until your thumbs break.

“My old man used to tell me, ‘it’s best to never say you’ve hit rock bottom’.”

(Putting all of these shots together since they’re scenes we already know but-) Holy shit, okay let’s just....start off like this I guess, damn.

“'Trust me’, he said...”

Kiara looking back and forth between the boys like this really just feeds the headcanon I have that her form of grief this season is going to be her trying to hold it together for their sakes (and eventually just snapping).

JJ just looks fucking furious someone give these kids a hug? I already know this scene is going to ruin me.

“You can always go...”

JJ back working at the hotel. He looks literally so angry again in this scene I could see him self destructing at work and losing his job? (Please do not be isolating yourself you beautiful son of a bitch even though I know you’re going to).

Pope in the Twinkie (costuming wise they all are in warmer looking clothes for some of the shots, so just confirming it’s a little bit into the school year when this all takes place).

“Lower”

Big John was real big into pep talks, I see. (seriously can you imagine Big John having this conversation with like 8 year old John B after he fucking dropped his ice cream cone or some shit I shouldn’t be laughing).

I’m just-

These poor kids, I wanna know how the police all the way down in the Bahama’s knew about them?

Their calves....

“RUN!”

Are going to be so fucking jacked by the end of this season I stg.

Fuck you.

“The gold from the Royal Merchant....it’s here.”

For a while, I had thought that maybe they didn’t even make it to the Bahama’s at the front of the season and ended there (because everyone had been filming in there). But I guess they’re going to be making two trips.

If I were a bird from this POV I’d shit right on that house no questions asked.

oooooh ho hokay. Just so we’re clear. Ward Cameron not only get away with murder and about two dozen other felonies, but-

“Half a billion.”

HE STILL FINDS THE GOLD IN THE CRAIN HOUSE AND GETS TO KEEP IT?

Not the polo with the snap back, I just know this man has a playlist called Sad Boi Hours that is just Juice WRLD’s top 5 songs on Spotify and he tells his friends they wouldn’t know the underground artists he listens to.

Sh, you have lost screaming privileges. Go inside and take a nap maybe.

“John B, we are fugitives in a foreign country.”

So, previously, I was talking about how I was confused how they would still be trying to find him is everyone thought he was dead, but here the wanted poster clearly says “presumed lost at sea”. I think that will be interesting to see how the Pogues all interpret that. 

Especially because they already had a memorial for John B and everything, I wonder if there will be any part of the Pogues holding out hope that they both could still be out there OUCH.

I’m going to circle back to this, but it looks like John B and Sarah are going to get separated for a little while in this man hunt, I could see my idiot himbo son trying to sacrifice himself so Sarah can get away but in reality just....stranding her.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid?”

Oh, sweetie....

“Well, Sarah Cameron, I do stupid things all the time without realizing it.”

The volume of his self awareness is astronomical. sir, that is your whole character summed up in your own words.

GOD, IT’S ME AGAIN. PLEASE LET THEM LEAN INTO COMPLETE HIMBO JOHN B THIS SEASON I’LL DO ANYTHING-

nyyooooOOOOOOOOOOOOM-

“Hold on!”

The complete abject terror I would feel having John Booker Routledge driving get-away and then saying the words “Hold on” while reaching fro the gear shift? The english language fails me. 

Sarah, bestie, I’m so sorry.

I just wanna know-

what the plan or objective was in this situation. What was the reason for being this dramatic.

Rest in piss, bozo <3

“Ward’s still out there...”

Okay, same conversation they were having as before. I wonder what makes them decide they need to get back to the OBX for this tho.

“I can clear my name. This can all be over in one shot.”

It looks like Topper watching this but way more concerningly, correct me if I’m wrong but this 100% looks like....John B gets caught. And the DEATH PENALTY?! He did have a mug shot for the fliers in s1 and the one above but he was never brought in? Plus he just looks super dirty and dishevled in this one so I-

Jail break anyone?

I also still want to know if they’re going to go with a Topper redemption arc this season. like, does he know more than he should just from being around Rafe and his big fat mouth? Is he going to help out the Pogues even if it’s just for Sarah?

This shot just suddenly made me really sad. The thought of this all started because Big John left one last thing for his son to find, his literal life’s work. And when it all started, it was just a fun adventure John B and his best friends were going on together and having fun with. Then it all got dragged to absolute shit and turned into what it did, including the remaining 3 Pogues thinking that this treasure hunt took their two best friends away from them. And it’s nothing like Big John intended it to be.

Why my eyes wet?

Now we’re edging into what I was talking about earlier with John B and Sarah getting separated.

“If you think there is anything I wouldn’t do...”

Once again, John B is no where to be found. Also, just in case y’all didn’t already know or forgot Ward is an actual psychopath.

I believe this one of the new character, played by Jontavious Johnson (Stubbs). Based on the voice over it lowkey sounds like they’re implying Ward maybe hired Stubbs and Cleo to find and bring Sarah back. My theory would be I bet they do go to retrieve her, but she somehow convinces them that it would be more beneficial for them in the end to be on the Pogue’s side instead.

Miss Girl you gotta be keeping your head on a SWIVEL. Especially when you’re a FUGITIVE of the LAW-

“...you haven’t been paying attention.”

My guy, who are you clarifying this for?

It’s what you deserve for monologuing.

in all seriousness, the idea of them coming to face to face with Ward in Nassau after thinking they finally escaped him is genuinely terrifying.

“SARAH!”

It kind of looks like they’re either hiding their faces or covering their noses? I don’t know maybe it was from some tactic to get away from Ward.

What did I literally jsut say about yelling privileges, you unhinged mother fucker?

“I’m calling the shots now. I’m driving.”

The following progression of scenes made me actually snort-

“I can’t drive stick.”

PLEASE THE FINGER GUNS LAUNCHED ME INTO ORBIT I LOVE THEM, YOUR HONOR.

Alright, so now it looks like we’re in Charleston. This is the same scene with Heyward’s truck that got leaked from BTS (read: JJ and Kie shoulder touch).

One of the main things that stuck out to me in the following scenes which, you will see, is it lowkey looks like Pope is kind of heading up this part of the operation, or even going in alone? The following clips are just very Pope focused. 

I don’t know what it means, it’s just an observation.

“John B was not the only one that Ward double-crossed.”

LIMBRY-

Bro, we have been hearing about this woman for literal months and I just have....so many questions? 

Who the hell is she? How is she connected to Ward? Why is she in South Carolina instead of the OBX? How do the Pogues even learn about her and how to track her down? How is she meant to “help” them? GAH I JUST WANNA KNOOOW. I already know I don’t trust her though and no I will not be offering up supporting evidence.

Sir, that is my son please unhand him.

“I think you know what I want.”

.......no? But feel....free to explain yourself?

The print on the paper is the same one that’s on the ceiling tiles in the following scene. Obviously, with a key on it that most likely goes to the place a few shots from now.

Hell yeah, son, let’s get SLEUTHING.

“The treasure belongs to the Pogues.”

DAMN STRAIGHT.

Bestie’s I’m not going to lie, I stared at this frame for a solid 10 minuets and I have no idea what it says on there I’m sorry. Someone in the comments is welcome to enlighten us.

“We gotta find it first.”

I can’t tell if that’s just dirt or if he hurt his head? But he look GOOD right now for one thing. For another, same outfit as the one in the Twinkie from the beginning of the trailer.

Look at her. LooK AT HER! LOOK! AT! HER! I MISSED HER SO MUCH even in that damn smiley face top that continues to haunt my waking hours she is in it so much and it stresses me out for literally no good reason I’m sorry-

I could literally cry right now and I think that speaks volumes to how little we actually see him genuinely happy. Have I mentioned how much I love that red hat?

Also, probably not that important, but this is not from the same scene as the shots of Pope and Kiara were. This is from the next one-

“Woogity-woogity?”

“Give me some woogity, baby!”

Yeah, this pushed me over the fucking edge, the way that they’re actually happy and laughing? The fact that they kept woogity-woogity and made it A Thing? Yes.

I am, however, going to be intentionally ignoring what appears to be the very intentional stagingof having such an obvious space between where Kiara and Pope are sitting adn where JJ sits, even including the level they’re sitting on because I don’t have the emotional capacity to face those implications right now. Thank you for your time.

Yes yeeeeEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

GIVE ME ALL OF THE SCENES OF THEM ACTUALLY GETTING TO BE TEENAGERS AND JUST BREATHE AND LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME AND NOT BE RUNNING FOR THEIR FUCKING LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!

before Rafe comes in and literally starts shooting because they can’t breathe for more than 7 seconds but we’ll....get to that.

They refer to Sarah as a Pogue this season or I burn Netflix to the ground. Your move, Jonas.

50 bucks says John B is driving the Twinkie again for the first time since being back.

I deadass think the Pogues JUST got Sarah and John B back and they’re just having the time of their life. Kie was in her smiley face outfit when Pope was in this one a few clips ago, and I still hold to the belief that that one still they released of JJ and Kie hopping over a fence is the Pogue reunion so-

Ward? I have no idea what he’s looking at behind the wall paper and I’ll be so honest I don’t care my eyes are only seeing Pogue content right now.

“This is a map of the whole island.”

This fit, when will John B learn how to operate buttons, stay tuned for season 5. Also my previous theory of this being their reunion outfits and stuff because Pope is in the back in the same jacket as before.

The plot thickens and so has JJ’s hair, Rudy drop the shampoo brand.

Please, dear God, tell me they’re back in the sex church. For @jiaaraa sake.

Kiara, your Madison is showing.

Okay, I really did try but all I can make out is Something to the tomb begin something something.

You’re welcome.

I am no expert but I do not believe boats operate on land.

John B looks like he is in the same outfit here that is in his mug shot we saw on the TV screen so I have a sneaking suspicion this is where he gets caught. 

“John B is back-”

Once again with the damn sexual tension that’s always between Barry and Rafe in every scene they do are we about to kiss right now?

“-it’s him or me.”

First of all, no.

Second of all, I’m just....so very confused about this time line this season. It kind of looks like Ward and Rafe follow and find Sarah and John B in Nassau (unless those scenes by the truck were actually back in the OBX). So did they....go to Nassau, then just come right back when they did? I’m just confused.

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.

Literally when will you stop at this point I am begging you. 

This looks like the same scene the Pogues were, ya know, literally just having a good time at so fuck me, I guess.

Yeah, no, it’s going to be a no from me, I’m just going to pretend like I’m not seeing this and moving on.

I have simply no idea what is going on here or who that is on the bike but maybe JJ? Maybe Luke even? I think that’s JJ’s bike. 

The sewer scene. The SEWER SCENE-

For months sicne that tiktok leaked this damn scene has been genuinely all I could think about. So (obviously) it seems like they’re sending Kie down into the sewer to go do seomthing and things go horribly, horribly wrong. 

If you haven’t seen the tiktok, essentially all it was was JJ and Pope screaming and trying to lift up the man hole cover while Kie is begging for them to hurry from inside. I’m cheating a little bit as this isn’t a shot from the trailer but this picture was posted and it’s from the same scene.

I’ll just....leave this here. Back to the trailer shots.

Nice. Also, same shirt as mugshot.

Hey, um, what? 

Kiara’s car, she’s driving, I can’t tell who’s in the back seat or the front.

Holy God what is going on and how can I as an audience member put a stop to it?

So, same scene as we will see and was in the teaser but, for some reason, they’re all jumping off of a giant ass boat into the little life raft where it looks like JJ gets hurt later but don’t you worry we’re getting to that.

JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE THEY BOTH LOOK SO DAMN GOOD AND THEIR LITTLE SMILES SPARE ME-

Cleo 🥵

I’m so excited to see her arc and what it brings this season you guys have no idea.

Please for the love of God be about to get Ward Cameron’s ass like he deserves literally punt him into jail right from Tanny Hill.

Sarah at My Druther’s with what looks like a bloody bandage on her side? Same outfit she’s wearing when they’re running from the police on the beach and she has the bandage there too so. Interesting. 

Topper hugging who I’m pretty sure is Sarah, being a general douche because he’s clearly looking at John B like 😏 

Clips like these serve to remind me just how many of my worldly posessions I would gladly give up to be able to punch Topper Thorton in the throat one time. 

I think this is Cleo jumping off the boat with Pope after John B and Sarah. 

Absolutely busting a lung at Pope’s form in this one.

John B and Sarah waiting in the life raft, still Cleo and Pope coming after them. The obvious next question is where are JJ and Kiara. The scene I’m sure you all have been waiting for is coming up and clearly takes place in the life raft as well.

So, I really think JJ and Kie get left for last, something horrible happens as they’re trying to jump (my head instantly goes to JJ maybe like pushing Kie out of the way and getting hit on the head instead or even just some accident). 

And, oh my GOD a scene of him falling off the boat after it happens and Kiara diving in after him immediately, having to desperatly try to stop him from sinkingand get to the life raft holy shit-

Girl CATCH HIM?????

Because why wouldn’t this be Rafe’s fault. Part of me wonders if this isn’t related to JJ being hurt.

I am going to try and unpack this as calmly as possible because behind my computer screen I am vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass but respectfully.

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS TIAUEWFHLAILA

Okay, so scene wise, JJ’s hit his head somehow (probably while he was jumping with Kiara) it looks like and now they’re back on the raft. 

In my opinion, this is either:

A) JJ is in really, really bad condition after getting hurt in the jump and they’re not sure he’s going to make it. So this is a “Please stay with me, stay awake, please don’t die” hug OR

B) They very narrowly just avoided a deadly situation (my first thought is JJ hits his head while jumping, passes out in the water, maybe almost drowns but Kie and the others get him onto the life raft in time) and this is more of a “Oh my God, you’re okay, you’re safe now, we’re okay” hug. 

I honestly lean more to the second one based on the little bit of Sarah’s face we saw in the background. To me, it almost looked like she was smiling thru tears, which, fits way more with the second option than the first. 

Anyways. Moving on before I burst a lung again.

(also, before anyone comes at me, no, I’m not happy JJ is hurt, obviously.  

(Once again, arrest outfits). You can still see the bandage but it looks like Sarah’s limping now too so...good Lord give the girl a break maybe?

Everything in this trailer just went to shit so fast I think I have whip lash, can we go back to the Pogues hanging out and being happy now pkease I liked those scenes.

“I get it. You guys are scared.”

“No.”

She’s cute but, uh, hello sewer scene outfits. Seems like them planning to do whatever the hell they were going to do in the sewers but the boys are starting to get cold feet as maybe they should but hind sight is 20/20 I suppose.

“It’s kind of cute.”

“I’m not scared.”

“You should’ve just led with that.”

I will never be able to express how much I adore Pogue banter and general dumbassery and I have a feeling this season will not be lacking in either department

I high key don’t think these two are actually going to be there for this scene to go down but I’ll let it slide this time because-

They do be kinda cute.

It both feels like I’ve been waiting for this damn show for 3 years and also like I just watched season 1 last month explain that to me. 

Either way holy shit. I missed this dumb show and these dumb kids so much it physcially hurts and WE GET THEM BACK IN T-MINUS 16 DAYS.

Also. Where The Hell Is Wheezie Cameron And When Will She Have The Rights She Deserves.

[lwt28brave]

LT2 masterpost

If it was up to me, we would get an autumn or winter EP. Since it’s not up to me at all, here, enjoy this post with everything we know so far of LT2, which is to say, not much at all. Everything here is hypothetical. I’ll be updating every time I see something relevant. A little disclaimer that while this is a masterpost (kinda), it could be read as discourse (duh, it’s also a theory), AND it’s also by me, and you shouldn’t expect me to be serious at this point.

Due to me restraining myself, there’s no reference to any of the times he’s mentioned his guitar skills and him improving but I hope you know I cried every single time.

I’m also linking my old pinned here. It was written before AFHF and around the free merch thing that didn’t lead to much, but I still think I made some good points.

Possible tracks:

Copy of a Copy of a Copy

Change

Faith in the future??

369??

Possible names:

369

Faith in the future

When is the album coming out?

Your guess is as good as mine

Friday 28th of January 2022. Almost two years after Walls. It’s a Friday. It’s a 28th. What else can I say?

Here you can find @want-to-be-loved timelines for every month.

Here you can find @berlinini’s timeline of what Louis has been up to this year (2021).

The rest is under the cut. And here you can find a PDF version where Tumblr can't tell me how many pictures I can add.

2020

He said back on May 2th 2020 he wasn’t writing anything new yet.

(x)(x)(x)

Interestingly enough, he’s said many times after that that the album’s not ready cause he has no new experiences to drawn from. I won’t call him out because he does it himself.

May 4th. He liked a tweet from DMA’s Johnny Took saying they had to go write together again. Louis has been credited as an influence for them and (kind of) participated in their previous record, so I’m assuming he meant for their music and not his, but you never know.

Nothing(literally nothing??? how did we survive) until 11th of July. We all know what happened that day. We all celebrated it. Nonetheless, that’s not what I’m talking about here.

(x) So, by the beginning of July 2020 he was working on concepts and ideas for the new album. That was fifteen months ago. I know perfection takes time but…

Brief summary of important things that happened from then until the next mention of new music:

Louis left Syco!!!! 10 days later he rescheduled the tour for the first time. He followed Matt Vines on Twitter, probably so we could publicly shame him into doing something. Also, the 10thanniversary. He followed more people I wish he hadn’t.

Then more nothing until September. Not even a single tweet. The first merch drop was on the 28th of August but he just RT’ed the tweet. He first mentioned Free my Meal on the 25th of September. Then on October 1st Walls hit #1 on a lot of countries and Louis was incredibly happy and excited about it ^^

And then, that same day, October 1st, 2020, he dropped this bomb:

(x)

He also said it was too soon to be sharing new lyrics with us (x)

And, obviously, this tweet which is actually what made me start this whole post. I would hope you know mate.

(x)

He also told us he was cooking "banger after banger" and that he was incorporating more social themes into his music (x)(x) (I believe any social issue is a political issue but that’s not the point rn).

COPY OF A COPY OF A COPY?!?!

These next paragraphs are brought to you by my mind not remembering things and me not having any links. I’m assuming COACOAC came from those writing sessions that supposedly happened in October. Or in LA but I have no idea if he actually was in LA at any point other than a Daily Mail article putting him there on December which would have been too late, but I do remember that someone said he was in the studio in LA last autumn???? A rumor. Maybe. IDK. Did I mention already all of this is very hypothetical?? Well, this is it. I can’t even remember if this was October or November or what. So, take this with a grain of salt.

I’m also… taking the liberty to assume, if you must, that Copy wasn’t meant to be a Walls reject because it sounds more mature and darker and it has a vastly different tone that Walls songs. I know he’s said that song probably isn’t getting into the album, but I want to have faith (in the future) that I’m getting a studio version. (But also, Louis, if you’re reading this, first of all GET OUT OF MY BLOG second of all, please don’t ever feel pressured again to add a song to the album because we have already heard it before. It’s your art and it should always be under your own terms).

So yeah, I believe that Copy is either one of those four songs (then imagine the other three??!!) or was written around the 1st of October date.

---End of the Intermission---

Then not much important (other than sharing more about Marcus Rashford fight against food poverty and the 2nd merch drop) until he announced the livestream on the 24th of November. (x)

It wasn’t until a few days before the livestream date we even thought again about new music (jk, I know we’re always thinking about new Louis’ music). So, December 9th/10th, 2020. Nine months ago. We got our first taste of new music!

He made sure we knew Copy of a Copy of a Copy isn't a cover! (x) (x)

(x)

Ok, so that’s it for 2020. (I feel like I’m missing something from September 17th because tweet was deleted but maybe he was still talking about cucumbers. We might never know. Unless I understand how Tumblr tags work). Expected, cause Walls was released in 2020. We needed to let it sit for a while.

2021

Another Summary: Louis third tweet of the year was telling the UK government off. So was the fifth. What a good beginning. On the 26th of January, he said he prefers pancakes over waffles. I hope he meant pancakes other than his own. More importantly, he tweeted the infamous “you lot read into things too much”. Don’t get me started, Tomlinson. Don’t. Then the 31st came around and Walls was one. He tweeted this. How wise. And Project Defenceless happened!!

15th of February!! Who cares about Valentine Day when the next day we got this? ♥

(x)

(x)

So…AN EP?? AN EP?? PLEASE RELEASE AN EP.

“I’m sure I will have something out this year but unlikely that will be the album”. Unlikely but not impossible. Also. A single would be good. This is the second time he mentions releasing something in 2021 and he sounds surer about it than the first time around.

He also said that he isn’t sure we will get a studio version of Copy. And that the best bridges from Walls to LT2 are Walls, OTB, KMM and Copy. Can’t wait!

Then we jump to March 6th when he announced he was going to create his own management company. “Sometimes action is needed first to encourage the motivation and belief”. As we can tell he was already manifesting some stuff which will lead us to the numerology stuff/Tesla… kidding. Or not. We might never know.

On the 22nd of March he answered some questions:

He told us music was still his main focus ♥ mwha. (x) I included this tweet to guilt-trip him into giving us music in case he’s reading this even after I told him to leave. ILY.

(x) I’d love to get a visual EP this autumn. Just saying. It sounds like a lovely concept.

(x)

…next (I will get into it, I promise. I’m just mad).

On the 25th he left for Mexico until April 10th. You could assume it was just for the documentary where we got ten seconds of footage or admit the obvious: LT2 its a Mexican baby!!

On the 26th (so, not so far apart from that first 369) we got the first Faith in the Future mention: (x)

Back then we were innocent people who had no idea what was coming upon us. We still have no idea because what the fuck does he mean with these. Please explain. I have one braincell and I don’t use it enough for this. I’m linking some theories.

On the 30th of March he confirmed he was already working on the documentary. So AFHF was already on the works. Will it take this long for us to get the Veeps numbers? We also got this tweet: "Got a decent chorus idea down" (x).

Same person that got the “something out this year” exclusive. If you know something share with the class. Also. Is this Change? I feel like this could be Change but I also assume he wrote Change after hanging out with his friends or being in Doncaster. But who knows.

(x) And the second mention to 369.

(x) 15th of April. The second "Faith in the future".

On the 19th of April he announced that he had something BIG for us later on the year which turned out to be the Away From Home Festival ♥♥ (x) I love him so much.

Then on the 28th he announced the 369 merch drop (which it’s probably the Walls drop? Except that the TOU and KMM ones were “drop 1 and drop 2” and this was drop 369 which, again, makes no sense) but we still don’t know what 369 means.

Into May’ 21 we go.

He rescheduled tour again. And dropped another bomb (x).

He announced he has signed with BMG as an independent artist by RTing this tweet on May 10th. The article also says that he’s already working on writing and recording LT2. The timing… we don’t know. What this deal involves… we don’t know either. Bear with me here because I have a lot to say about this.

I think the deal is only a distribution one, but that BMG are interested in Louis and what he (us) could bring to the table. They were either present at the festival or watching it, but officially they had no involvement at all with it (everything is credited either to Louis own company, 78 Productions, or Charlie Lightening’s company). That’s the case for both giveaways too; the vinyl one and the tickets for the festival.

I think it would be an unbelievably bad move not to test the waters with BMG now or soon-ish. At least a single, to see how it performs. Due to the circumstances, it’s obvious there’re certain limitations on place but I want to see how they push it, whether the radio play exist this time around and if the song is playlisted and promoted and all that… I would also love to know, since it says he signed with BMG UK, but it also states it’s a global deal, how things are going to go on the US and other countries.

Yes, yes. I know those are all questions and no answers. But I know the same as you, sadly. If any of you know more than you’re letting on… again, share with the class.

Where was I? Yes, on the 25th of May Louis had a great day writing (x). Since the first time he had mentioned he was officially writing to this date there’s almost eight months. And I believe he was writing before October’ 20.

He followed Robert Harvey that day and, on the 28th of May (why is it always the 28th???) he was spotted at the studio for the first time.

June was an interesting month for the fandom ♥. Lots of LHL content which I will love and cherish for the rest of times. On June 4th, June 9th, and June 10th he was spotted at the studio, but I believe he was there more days.

(x)

This was posted on June 6th and captioned Studio. Charlie also shared it with “Mega tunes being put down, can’t wait for this @louist91 #louistomlinson #LT2” as the caption. This gives me 2019 (Elton-Joint) vibes. I like it. Feels like we’re getting closer to something.

He added the Milano date on the 9th too which I’m mentioning because I’m going alone. Anyone wanna go with me please? I’m nice and I never eat anything before a concert so you can have my food. On other news. It didn’t come home.

During July he was at the studio at least three days too. Probably more. Feels like more with all the fan pictures we got. Or was that June? Anyway, July 1st and 9th we got some videos from Robert Harvey and wearesuperhi, which is who Louis has been working with the most, that we know of. I don’t know for sure they’re from that day. And on July 5th we got an article and lots of pictures of Louis looking really good outside the studio.

On the 12th of July the first fans started getting the free, 369 bucket hat and print. We still don’t know what the purpose was other than to thanks fans. Maybe that was it. I want answers and I still think it relates to a future project (see theories above), but it could also just be a bridge with the Walls breaking.

He didn’t tweet about anything interesting for a while, mostly because he lost his phone (he either throwed it in the air or smashed it who knows). Then on the 29th of July he announced the festival!

I’m glossing over it because there’s already been a lot of talk about it (rightfully) and while it was a wonderful thing, it doesn’t have much to do with LT2.

Let’s talk Change!

On August 3rd he tweeted this about the setlist.

(x)

And this (x) on the 28th! I can’t stand him.

We didn’t get it, obviously. Because who was going to get that. But we read too much into things. Alright.

On the 16thof August Dave Gibson shared this post tagged #LT2 with the eyes emojis 👀👀👀. I believe this has to do both with Change but also with whatever else came out of that Mexico trip.

(x) Last relevant tweet related to LT2 is this one.

So, on the 30th of August we got Change and we cried, and we know that Change is going in the new album. He said it. With those exact words. He also said he was “getting a feeling for it”. This has to meant he already has a general idea of the vibe of the new album and what’s going in it!!!!!! (Right? RIGHT?).

Anyway, let’s go back a few weeks because some other things happened on August. He was at the studio a few more times. Or it was suggested that he was there. On the 17th and the 18th. (Why was it so time-pressing to be at the studio instead of rehearsing for the festival? There was no studio at all on the documentary. Which makes sense, but again, then why?).

On the day of the festival we got another mention of Faith in The Future that made me feel part of a cult ngl. The words were flashing on the screen for less than a second. Okay.

And then he tweeted those words again after watching the livestream/documentary on the 4th of September (x). This is what makes me suspect it's either the name of the album or of the single.

On the same day, we got some interesting quotes about LT2 on the documentary.

“Soon I’ll have to think about me second album, which in my head I’ll get the tour out of the way and then I’ll address that. So, I hadn’t really given it much thought, to be honest”.

“When every day is the same is hard to feel creative and it’s hard to have any kind of proper inspiration”.

“As season started to come back, I started writing again and it was great and some of these songs turned out alright”.

And I think this is it. I might be overlooking some important details but that’s what we know and what we don’t know.

So. Conclusions. That’s what you missed on Glee. I do believe the album is, if not mostly done, partially there. And yes, this post is pointless and never-ending but it’s all in here if you need to tell Louis “Hey, you said this, mate”.

[sugar-petals]

Hi Caro!! How are you doing? Hope everything is okay :)) So I’m starting to get into figure skating and was wondering if you could recommend some performances, like you favourite ones etc... also could you name some skaters if it’s not too much to ask (i know you talk a lot about Yuzuru), i truly wanted to know more about it. thanks in advance✨

i’ll serve you a whole buffet, get ready. joining at the right time! we’re off-season and the olympics are way to go so you can catch up without missing out on any events, and there’s a lot you can indulge with.

get into FIGURE SKATING: the in-depth guide

wanna know who’s who?

key skater introductions, the masterpost (bonus: meme threads)

6 breakthrough moments of famous male competitors on video

top 10 most successful female skaters

retired legends! their last big performance 2010-2020

so who’s up there in the points, who to watch for, who’s active, who are the best of the best? 

official, current world standings LADIES | GENTS | PAIRS

how to prepare for the winter season?

skating competitions calendar 2021 (more bite-sized than usual, a lot is cancelled)

want to tell apart the 6 essential jumps?

lutz VS loop VS axel VS toe loop VS flip VS salchow

more jump explanations, beginner’s guide

how yuzuru jumps more than just textbook quads: all 6 analysed 

who landed the quadruple jump first? ladies/gents compilation

nathan chen, god of all quads 

why achieving the quad axel is shaking the community since years

first ever quad axel attempt in competition: artur dmitriev

are quintuple jumps possible?

quads are killing artistry debate — too much technique, while creativity and feeling aren’t scored enough

rare and unusual jumps: complete insanity combos

history-making jumps

the key jump: triple axels in ladies’ skating

quads in ladies’ skating

what about other elements? learning movements by video and by skater without just reading about them:

fantastic moves that skaters are know for

more elements that skaters perfected and made their own

more famous signature moves/the ’personal touch’ (crack editing)

elements named after a person

physics behind spins

highest scored ladies’ spins

pair skating elements

ice dance lifts

banned elements

scoring explained! the base value and GOE (grade of execution) mark

what went down in prior olympics in singles and pairs? 

sochi 2014 best of videos

pyeongchang 2018 best of 

the king: all world class olympic yuzu routines 

the queen: yuna kim’s olympic programme stunners

who are the game changers?

highest olympic scores ever moments

surya bonaly’s groundbreaking backflip!

all yuzuru world records compilation (time to cry)

completely bonkers gala performances aka non-competitive skating where most rules don’t apply lmao, props and all!

must-know medallists

fantastic moments in ladies’ skating

yuzuru dedicates first olympic gold to his tsunami-struck hometown and country

top 10 black figure skaters — historic and recent

yuzu’s legendary costume reel

heart-wrenching moments ��

more emotional stuff that went down

and now, what programmes are the talk of the town?

nathan wins the 2021 world championship with a firework of clean jumps

“the performance of his life from the best skater of all history”: yuzuru dishes on let me entertain you donning all black and landing a murderous triple axel on the beat

alina zagitova wins ladies’ gold dressed in my fave red costume ever, amazing storytelling, not a single fall, at only 15 years of age

my recent favorite: impossibly beautiful ballet on ice — mikhail kolyada’s art and precision are indescribable

“the king of silver” — shoma uno beautifully wins 2nd place at the olympics!

the tears. pair olympic gold, savchenko and massot, my fellow germans. obv has to be on here.

every yuzu performance is the talk of the town. 80-video playlist with gems to pick from 2008-2021

and now... the retired GOAT among the ladies! yuna kim’s charismatic send in the clowns. she is art.

what are the dominant teams?

team usa introduce themselves

different camps of team russia

bonus: watch team japan gala skate

things to warn you about — what controversies, tws, and shadow sides to brace for. you don’t have to read in depth if not comfortable, just know what goes on and what you might have to stay clear from:

the 2018 murder of kazakh skater denis ten

the 2019 case of john coughlin: sexual abuse in pair skating

gay figure skaters facing homophobia: the adam rippon VS mike pence incident (which becomes further complicated by adam rippon’s racist and misogynist comments on other occasions)

yuzuru talking about suriving the japan 2011 earthquake

yuzuru’s graphic 2014 crash with han yan, slow medical teams on the ice, nasty injuries, almost-concussion

yuzuru on his asthma attacks 😔

the lutz jump causing issues (underrotations, flutzing, mis-judgings)

the endless story of judges underscoring yuzuru

creating enemies/rivalries between friends

international skating union’s bs, politics, yuna kim’s robbed of olympic gold scandal

risk rewarded over art

harrowing accidents, the sport is extremely dangerous esp in pairs (tw)

extra toxic mess that needs to be addressed: russian coach eteri’s cruel methods (youth cult, instrumentalizing underage skaters, abuse, nationalism)

why are there so few black skaters?

skaters pressured to come out 

likely known to you, the kerrigan VS harding attack

yuzuru’s fans bordering obsession, death threats

sportsmanship DOs and DONTs that occurred

more essentials about yuzu’s team?

check out yuzuru’s coach: olympic silver medalist, brian orser!

tour of his training grounds: toronto cricket club

yuzu’s rituals and winnie pooh 

wanna have a laugh? 

hilarious crack of famous skaters, turn down volume (medals that look like paper, wrong anthems played, spanish skater javier fernandez skates as superman)

funny moments on the podium/award ceremony

skaters multilingual moments! one big international family. ❤️

hockey players try to keep up with skaters

yuzuru is a flippin ice diva

stages of yuzu costume reveals

yuzu said let me entertain you and so he did!

skaters fooling around

skating artist pranks rink in an old man costume doing a wild backflip

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 18X01

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

I was really excited for the Premiere and I have never been so disappointed in my life. It took me a few days to write this review because I’m just so unimpressed. I feel like the only interesting parts of the Season 18 Premiere were the Meredith and Hayes FaceTime call, Levi in that outfit and Jo with that hair, and the interviews. That's it. I mean Teddy and Owen’s two weddings were interesting if you’re a Teddy and Owen shipper, but I never have been so that didn’t really do anything for me.

The pacing of the episode was super slow and it was just altogether boring. There were also just so many inconsistencies. For example, Teddy and Owen originally planned to get married at the park with just Megan, Farouk, Evelyn, Leo, and Allison which doesn’t make sense because prior to their break up they were talking about planning their dream wedding. Now they finally get married and Richard didn’t even know about it? They asked Megan to fly in, but they didn’t tell their friends at the hospital after they just all attended Maggie and Winston’s wedding two weeks earlier?

It’s also not clear if Meredith knows that they got married which is weird because she’s the main character of the show and was an integral part of Owen’s previous two weddings one of which was held at her house. Also, Amelia and Link weren’t there and it’s not clear if they even knew about the wedding which is weird because Meredith, Amelia, and Link were all present when Owen proposed to Teddy at Christmas at Meredith’s house and they are all co-parenting Leo together.

While I appreciated the shift to a lighter tone and that they chose to have this season exist in a post-COVID alternative universe where we can see the actors faces again without the PPE and return to escapism the Premiere didn't pack the punch I was expecting. The premieres are usually super shocking and action packed and this one just wasn't. It was just boring and all of the most interesting stuff happened off camera during the two weeks between the Season 17 Finale and the Season 18 Premiere which is just stupid.

I saw the priest getting hit by one of the cyclists coming a few minutes before it happened based on the promo and the context of the scene and there wasn't a big shocking event like there usually is. The pace of the Premiere really felt off to me. My friend Amy who I watch with every week described it as the pacing you usually associate with a nice stroll through a moonlit garden. Fine for episode two or three or a connecting episode but not the Premiere. I feel like they really misjudged what fans were looking for and I’m hoping that they do the work and course correct now that the Premiere has aired and the completely dismal fan reaction as come out.

One of the few bright spots for me was the introduction of Peter Gallagher as Dr. David Hamilton. I love him as an actor! He's great! His recent roles in Grace and Frankie and Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist were fantastic! I was super excited when I heard he was coming to Grey's. I like Dr. Hamilton so far and I'm interested to see how his relationship with Ellis and Meredith having dreams about her mother following her battle with COVID will play into the story this season. While it would be interesting to see Meredith work in Minnesota temporarily like Cristina did back in Season 9, I don't want her there permanently. Seattle is as much a character in the show as any of the main characters we've come to love, and something would be missing for me if she moved.

To be perfectly honest, it doesn't make much sense to me for Meredith to move to Minnesota permanently when she only knows a few people there. Who would watch her kids? If she's going to move to me, it makes more sense for her to move to Kansas where Alex is or Switzerland where Cristina is. Her kids have already lost their father and so many other caregivers and Meredith has stuck it out in Seattle for so long after everything that's happened that her moving to Minnesota for me would be bonkers.

Also, where were her kids in the Premiere? All of the interviews that came out prior to the Premiere talked about how Meredith’s focus at the beginning of the season would be on her work and her kids, but they were nowhere to be found in the Premiere and it’s not clear whose watching them while Meredith is in Minnesota. The interviews also made it seem like Meredith and Hayes would still be circling each other at the start of the season with quotes about how timing hadn’t been on their side, that they still needed to have an official drink and go out on a date, and that while Meredith wasn’t looking for a relationship one might find her.

That had literally nothing to do with the Premiere we saw whatsoever! The kids were MIA and it turned out that Meredith and Hayes started dating off screen following Maggie and Winston’s wedding and we didn’t get to see ANY of the firsts they talked about so much over the last two seasons. So stupid. The Premiere was a total rip off. I hate that Nick Marsh is back and I’ve never gone from liking a character and an actor to hating them in such a short period of time ever. My God. I’m so pissed off about this. What the hell were they thinking? Why did they think we would want this at all?

Don’t get me wrong, I loved Nick Marsh as a character and Scott Speedman's portrayal of him when he first showed up in Season 14. I was all ready for him to be Meredith's next great love and I was on board. But then he disappeared and was never heard from again and it was reported that Speedman wanted to take a break from TV for a while so I mourned the loss of what could have been and moved on. I sat through the out of character nonsense that was the DeLuca storyline in the belief that eventually that storyline would end, and Meredith would get a real proper love interest that made sense and would be her post-Derek endgame.

So, I was really excited when they introduced Hayes and I have really come to love his character and his budding relationship with Meredith. I feel like I've been waiting forever to finally see them go on a date and I am super pissed off that we didn't get to see it. I would have loved this storyline with Nick if they had introduced it at any previous point in time, but now after they've spent so much time setting up Meredith and Hayes it's just infuriating. I feel immense rage over how they handled Meredith and Hayes and Meredith and Nick’s storylines in the Premiere. I'm so angry. The whole thing just made no sense. That Premiere should never have aired. It never should have gotten past the draft stage. It was that bad. The first date and all of the firsts that come with a new relationship are the most exciting parts of a romantic storyline for me and I love seeing all of that on screen. They hyped Meredith and Hayes’ relationship up so much and even had the two of them talk about 'firsts' and dating after death so for their first date to happen off screen along with Austin's panic attacks and bad reaction to his Dad starting to date again is just such a rip off.

I have stuck with this show through thick and thin and for them to reward that loyalty by having the most interesting parts of that storyline happen off screen while showing a bunch of stuff on screen with other characters that they could have just told us about? So ridiculous. I was so excited for this season and now I'm just angry. I'm hoping that they are building to a big mid-season finale where Meredith is going to return to Seattle and by that time Bailey will have helped Hayes out with Austin and the two of them will finally get together on screen but I'm starting to feel like every time I get invested in one of the Meredith's new love interests, they pull the rug out from under me and I'm getting really fed up.

In other news, I'm not too surprised that Megan and Riggs broke up off screen only because Virgin River, which I love, just got picked up for two more seasons and I imagine Martin Henderson is busy filming that and it looks like Megan is going to be around for a while and they had to explain it somehow. I loved Meredith and Riggs together and I hated how they ended that storyline so I'm not sad about them breaking up off screen.

The Premiere also broke my heart over Amelia and Link’s storyline. It’s just so stupid. It’s drama for drama’s sake that’s all it is and it’s tired. When did marriage become so important to Link? In the span of a few months, he went from being totally fine with not getting married and checking in with Amelia every few weeks on how she felt to convincing himself that Amelia wanted him to propose so he did so at her sister's wedding and used her dead brother's children to do it. Amelia's right the whole thing was super messed up and manipulative and she was right to say no.

Link decided marriage was important to him and that fostering Luna would be totally fine without ever talking to Amelia. Yes, Amelia should have shared her thoughts with him too, but he also should have paid attention. Now their otherwise healthy relationship is over because she doesn't want to participate in an archaic ritual that involves signing a contract and exchanging vows? That's just stupid. I hope they find a way to work it out and get back together because I really like them as a couple.

I like Dr. Michelle Lin the new Head of Plastic of Surgery that Bailey and Richard are looking to hire. I thought for sure after that photo of the other guy made the rounds on social media that he was going to be the new Head of Plastics, but then he said that he doesn't do "free" and I knew he was out. I'm excited for there to be another female surgeon of colour on the show as the gender and racial balance on the show has been more white and male as of late and I think Grey's is at its best when you have a roughly equal number of women and men and as many different races being represented as possible.

I think it makes the storylines more interesting and authentic and personally gives me more characters that I can identify with. This new doctor seems driven, determined, and could have a potentially interesting dynamic with Richard and Bailey. She’s also giving me some Cristina Yang vibes and I’m all for that. I love Cristina. Always have. Always will. That being said, I'm a bit confused as to where they are going with Jo's storyline as I thought for sure the new Head of Plastics would be a guy and her new love interest. But Bailey did say they still needed to hire a new general surgeon and a new neurosurgeon so maybe one of them will be for her?

I can't really say that there was anything I loved about the Premiere which is disappointing. Jo's parenting hair dye mishap was funny, Levi's outfit cracked me up, and I liked that Bailey agreed to help Hayes out, but that's about it. The thing I was most excited for coming into this season was Meredith finally being back on her feet and seeing the romantic storyline between her and Hayes finally come to fruition.

Finding out that she's going to be in Minnesota for the foreseeable future, she and Hayes started dating off screen but had to call it quits because seeing his Dad date someone new caused Austin to have panic attacks, and finding out that Nick Marsh is back? I hated it. I don't understand how the same person who wrote the Season 16 masterpiece “Snowblind” with that amazing snow scene between Meredith and Hayes wrote the Premiere. I just don't understand. I really hope they're not going to do a love triangle with Meredith, Hayes, and Nick because that would just be so stupid.

She's a forty something award-winning surgeon who's a widowed single mother of three. Love triangles made sense when she was young intern, but at this point it's just dumb. I also didn't feel the chemistry this time around between Meredith and Nick like I did the first time. It felt forced and flat. I like Maggie and Winston together, but I didn't find their storyline in the Premiere particularly engaging. I'm glad that Amelia stayed true to herself, but I hate that Link has decided marriage is the only way forward and that they're still fighting.

The only moment that really made me laugh out of the hour was when Jo opened the door and Levi was in that ridiculous outfit. I loved the FaceTime call between Meredith and Hayes, but I hated the context. Honestly, I'm not really excited about any upcoming storyline this season which makes me really sad. I'm usually super positive and hopeful when it comes to this show, but this episode just stomped all over my dreams. All I can hope for now is that they pull a twist and everything I was hoping for happens in the mid-season finale otherwise I don't think I'm going to like this season very much.

Until next time!

[simpsiren]

The love potion;

lee jeno x reader

inspired by: Call me— Rainlord, Keshi

description. I got to find out one day that a group of students from my college owned a café nearby campus. And it just so happened that Jaehyun and I were able to get a special invite to be the first few to come before they officially open. One boy caught my eye, Lee Jeno. He only ever grasped my attention. But how was I able to be completely deep in love with him after just a few visits? And that is when the name of this story comes into play.

genre. fluff, angst, love potion type of thing

word count. 24.6k~

warnings. cursing i guess and dreamies almost being sent to jail and VERY brief mention of rape im sorry cnwsdnif

a/n. this is part of the playlist series! click here to check out ffs written by the other authors part of the playlist series <3

“You really think I got time for that?” I said yet again. “It won’t be long! You don’t seem to have a lot of workload today!” Jaehyun protested for the millionth time. It felt like we have been exchanging the same sentences for a whole hour now. I didn’t know why Jaehyun wanted to go to this new café so much. All I knew was the fact that it was owned by a group of students from our college. I would have barely knew them. Better yet, complete strangers. But I guess Jaehyun had a connection, seeing as how he’s been pestering me about this for a week now.

“What are they to you that you’re so desperate to visit?” I questioned, taking a bite of my sandwich as I looked away from Jaehyun to see the clear bright sky painted with blue and white. “Firstly, I know all of them since I did take care of them during their freshmen year.” When Jaehyun explained his first point, I instantly remembered the time I was in freshmen year. And Jaehyun indeed took a few students under his wing for a few months. And though I was assigned to another senior, Jaehyun was always around to check up on me. That’s what got me to be his friend today. “And secondly, they gave me a special invite for me to head there before they officially open.”

I quirked an eyebrow in a questioning manner. “So we get free food and drinks?” Jaehyun’s frown turned into a wide smirk almost instantly. He knew me. “Of course we do.” Jaehyun said with a sly tone. I was already settled on accepting his offer right then and there. I mean, who wouldn’t accept free food? Jaehyun knew I was the type to take up any offer than was free of charge, no money required. He knew I was a cheapskate. “You’re tempted now, aren’t you?” Jaehyun whispered, bringing his face close to mine to examine my every feature. The wary look in my eyes, the smile that unconsciously formed on my lips, the slight blush at the thought of free food.

“I hate you.” I finished my last bite of sandwich and stood up from the bench, grabbing my bag and slinging it onto one shoulder and stomping away in exasperation. “See you tomorrow!” Jaehyun shouted, a loud chuckle following after with it slowly drowned out to nothing as I made my way back to my dorms. When I got back, I threw my bag onto my study table and plopped onto my bed. For some reason, today felt exhausting. And I didn’t know what made it like that. I guess I could blame my lecturer, his monotonous voice was sending the class to sleep. But I was then reminded of the other reason when my stomach grumbled. I glanced down to my stomach and placed a hand there, feeling it tighten as its need for food and replenishment grew.

I groaned as I pushed myself out of bed and went for the kitchen. I frowned deeply at the remembrance that I had no food in my kitchen. I wasn’t big of a cook, and I was honestly too lazy to even do so. There weren’t any snacks I could eat for the time being either. “Am I this broke?” I asked myself, leaning against the kitchen counter and resting my chin on the palm of my hand. I took out my phone and placed it on the table. It was then that I remembered about Jaehyun’s request to the café. “When even is it?” I whispered, eyebrows knitting together as I went ahead to text Jaehyun for the details. He replied me in a matter of seconds, saying that it’s tomorrow but we were able to go whenever we liked for this whole week.

I pressed the call button on Jaehyun’s contact, his voice going into a monotonous “What?” the moment he picked up. “You’re free right now, right?” I asked. Jaehyun hummed. “Meet me at the main building in an hour.” Before Jaehyun could even give a response, I ended the call, knowing he would be there waiting for me regardless. I absentmindedly had a smile on my face with the thought of outdoor food. But my expression went to a quizzical one when I went to the college’s Twitter to see if there were any updates on this café situation. “Seven students from different departments... opening a café in a month’s time.” The tweet gave basic details, but they didn’t even state who exactly were the seven.

Either way, I skipped my way to my room. I didn’t know what kind of food or drinks they’d sell. But at this point, all I really cared about was the food to satisfy my desperate stomach. And hey, if it tastes good, I guess there wouldn’t be any harm to get myself out of the drowning piles of assignments to enjoy an hour or so outdoors. A new scenery to admire. That I hoped wouldn’t be a wasted of time. I got there just slightly over an hour, seeing as how my shower time increased when I had to wash and dry my hair from sweating all day in the burning heat.

Jaehyun was there and he already began walking when I have yet to even reach. I took bigger steps and eventually had to run a little to catch up to his fast pace. “Can you slow down?” I breathed, panting ever so slightly as I continued to match Jaehyun’s long strides down the pathway out of campus. “Well they just texted me saying to hurry because they miss me.” Jaehyun said, a soft smile appearing on his lips and he glanced down to check his phone. I bobbed my shoulders and nodded my head in understanding. “I never knew you were so close to them. You never told me.” Jaehyun reciprocated my shrug, a blasé, god-could-care sort of way. “We just seemingly grew closer I guess.” He answered noncommittally.

Jaehyun simply continued walking when we were out of campus, and I simply followed. And to my surprise, the café wasn’t far at all. In fact, it took us merely ten minutes to reach. However, the place was seemingly hidden. It was in a line of other shops that made the café look invisible. You had to go through two shops and take a staircase up to the second floor. Anyone would have passed it if they didn’t see the café’s sign right beside the staircase. The logo looked simple— the words Café 7 Dream written in caps in a circle, with an animated character in between. The colours were vibrant yet it would be shadowed by the other shops.

I followed Jaehyun up the short flight of stairs. Once he was at the top, he turned to the right and pushed open a glass door. I followed suit. I couldn’t help but have my eyes wide opened when I entered. I initially wanted to refrain myself from looking too surprised, but you could say mine was covered when Jaehyun gasped loudly and had his jaw drop to the floor, his mouth hanging open. I only had Jaehyun’s attention when he shouted, “Yo this looks awesome!” I turned my head from the wall length window that gave the perfect view of the beautiful neighbourhood. In truth, I was glad to go to a college with this much beauty surrounding it. I wasn’t met with old rotting buildings and the sights of your average neighbourhood. Mine was, you could say upgraded. Urbanised. Everything was polished and new. And the huge window second floor café gave just the view to oversee it all. It was certainly a breath of fresh air.

As for the aesthetics of the café, it was simply all white. Not a lot to offer, but I liked the simplicity. The tables and stools were lower than what I’d expected. But there were proper tables and chairs right at the corner of the café, with the counter and workspace just a few feet beside it. It was Jaehyun’s voice that had my attention on him for a split second before I immediately adverted my gaze to the seven men lined up behind the counter. I widened my eyes further to the point where I was afraid that they could fall out of my eye sockets.

They were gorgeous, beautiful. I have seen them before. Only in freshmen year. It looked like they were now in their glow up game. Their hairs were dyed in a wide variety of colours, but it somehow looks unified. It captured all the sunlight that came through the window, as if wanting to keep it for themselves and have it shine its light only on them. I could tell all their features from where I was standing, which was quite far since I was standing by the window. Their features were prominent and their faces were perfectly structured. I seriously wondered why I’ve never noticed them till now. Part of reason could have been that I’ve never seen them since freshmen year when they’ve never caught my eye. But the other reason could have been that I’ve never heard any rumours about them anywhere.

Usually people would talk about such things, boys. But I guess I was never around to hear them, or they never spread to begin with. Maybe they had their identities hidden for some reason. Because I was really questioning why I’ve never seen such beauty and good looking people all in one room for so long. It must have slipped my mind that I had my head turned to them when one of them shouted, “Hey there!” I blinked my eyes and shook my head quickly to clear slate of their attractiveness. My mouth remained agape still as I lifted up a hand and waved back at the light brown haired guy who had a cute baby face, still good looking.

I quickly rushed to stand beside Jaehyun, forcing myself to smile as if I had not been staring at them for a whole minute. “Hey.” I waved back. Jaehyun took a step forward and faced me, a hand gesturing out to the guy standing at the end of the line. “So this is Renjun, Mark, Haechan, Jisung, Chenle, Jeno, and Jaemin.” In their single file, I trailed my eyes along each of them, our eyes meeting very briefly and I felt my breath catching in my throat for a second each time as I wished to look at them longer but refrained myself from doing so. I forced out a short laugh and brought a hand up to rub the back of my neck, which was now sweaty against my palm. Was I this nervous to see men? I guess I was. I never seen them in way too long of a time. Jaehyun was the only ever man I admired for his looks and brains.

They all smiled and I felt like wanting to swoon and have Jaehyun catch me right then and there. Unfortunately, that could only stay in my imagination. I kept my posture straight, nothing more than a kind smile and attentive eyes on them. Jaehyun now looked at me after introducing all seven of them. “Let’s sit down.” Jaehyun glanced back at them and grinned widely, with them reciprocating it immediately with a downshift of their heads while a few bowed and went back to do their separate duties. We decided to sit at the corner where the tables and chairs were. I rushed for my seat and sat down, eagerly waiting for Jaehyun do to the same. And the moment he did so, I leaned in with shoulders up high and eyes full of intent. “You never told me all your juniors are attractive.” I whispered in an angry tone.

“Why didn’t you introduce me to any of them?” My emphasis on the word or the whole question itself had Jaehyun raising both his eyebrows and scoffing with much amusement. “Who was it that said they wouldn’t want a lover to distract her from doing college and concentrate fully on herself for individual growth?” Jaehyun taunted, batting his eyelids at me as I vividly remembered myself making that promise at the very start and was able to uphold it. Well, until now. “Get one of them to marry me.” I fired back, smacking Jaehyun’s arm so hard that it made him wince. But I knew he was exaggerating it only the tiniest bit. I couldn’t help myself from stealing glances at them every second.

Jaehyun jerked his elbow against mine to get hmy attention, which he only received after a long moment. “Seriously?” Jaehyun muttered. I grinned till my eyes formed a thin line and I nodded. “Seriously.” The two of us instantly grew quiet when one of them, which I could remembered to be Haechan came to us through the swinging door of the workplace with a what I assumed to be a menu in hand. “Glad to be at you service. I’m Haechan, and here’s the menu.” He placed a big card on the table and slide it to the center. Jaehyun had his eyes on Haechan the whole time till he travelled down and made eye contact with the paper on a small clipboard in his hand. “Do we fill that up?” He asked.

Haechan furiously shook his head. “Oh no don’t worry I’ll have it filled up for you guys.” Haechan looked to each of us and gave a smile. His extremely amicable tone and expression could already make me tell that he was a bright person indeed. Like sunshine. “I’ll have a Fullsun Ade. And a random mini cake.” Haechan was quick to take it down and adverted his attention to me, which made my heart skip a beat. “Um I guess I’ll take the Jeno Latte and random cookie sand?” My voice accidentally let it out as a question but Haechan simply took it down and nodded his head with affirmation. “Alright please wait awhile and we’ll have it ready.”

“You don’t have to be this formal with me, Haechan.” Jaehyun pointed just when Haechan spun around. He turned back and blinked his eyes twice. “But I’m putting on a good impression for our actual first customer.” Haehan jerked his head in my direction and my eyes widened just a fraction as he flashed me a smile yet again. He hummed and downshifted his head before sliding himself out and heading back to the workplace and telling the rest to get to work. I pursed my lips and raised both my eyebrows as I watched his back, my eyes travelling from one guy to the other. “God stop you look weird.” Jaehyun said with an annoyed tone, a feign exasperated huff leaving his lips. I giggled and placed my pointer finger to my lips. “Sh.” I whispered ever so softly and gave a playful wink to which Jaehyun responded with a grimace and looked out to the scenery.

Meanwhile, I had my eyes on them. Each of them were doing their jobs, but at the same time being playful like kids. Never ending silent giggles and bickering could be heard the whole time. My attention would go off them briefly to take a glance at the window’s view, and then I was back to admire a different kind. However, one stood out to me. The one in the deepest end of the workplace. Basically the corner. If I remembered correctly, he’s Jeno. He seemed to be the only one that was concentrated on making the drink, his drink. He occasionally responded to the chaos of his friends, but he was mostly focused with the help of the guy Jaemin beside him and having small talks.

His bright blonde hair really stood out to me. And his side profile was nevertheless breathtaking. Don’t get me wrong, all of them were good looking and any girl would have their breath taken away if any of them were even miles away. But something about him... hit different. His hands worked gracefully and he seemed to have a delicate touch. He kept smiling to himself, which I found to be adorable. He was probably reacting when overhearing his friends but didn’t want to take his attention fully off the task at hand. For some reason, he was the one that stood out to me the most. “Jaehyun’s order is here!” Haechan shouted, waving an arm up in the air with no specific direction as to who he was waving at.

“Oi Canada deliver it.” Haechan jerked his head to the counter where it had Jaehyun’s drink. But I saw that the mini cake was still on the cake stand. Mark frowned and turned to him. “I’m not even done with the cake!” Mark retorted, proceeding to quickly add final touches of sweets and other small goods as decoration before sliding it off the cake stand and making its way into a plate that Renjun prepared. Mark hustled out of the workplace and held the plate on one hand and drink on the other. In all honesty, the distance between the workplace and the table were so short, I could take a few steps and take it myself. But I guess they wanted to provide their hest service possible, so I decided to stay put.

Mark had dark blue hair, which suited him really well. His face was immensely stunning and had the face of a foreigner. He did come from Canada after all, I assumed. “Thank for coming again, Jaehyun. We really appreciate it.” Jaehyun pulled the plate and drink that Mark placed down, glancing at it before looking up to Mark with happy eyes and a bright smile. “Of course.” He simply said and Mark left us to be while they made my order. Out of habit, I pulled the drink in front of me, begging to examine it. It looked very cute. It had a sticker of a sun which I guess was Haechan’s character. The drink was a beautiful gradient of yellow to semi translucent and it had leaves and a slide of lemon. What I found most appealing was the finishing touch of a heart shaped pink straw.

Jaehyun didn’t mind me taking his drink. It had been something I’ve always done, taking his food whenever mine has yet to come. He grew to get used to it, so he didn’t even bother. I took a sip and hummed in delight the moment the liquid hit my tongue and my tastebuds were satisfied with a wave of deliciousness. It was refreshing as the drink went down my throat. My couldn’t help but have my eyes widen ever so slightly. “Holy shit.” I muttered, leaning in to take another sip. Just while I had my eyes closed and humming again dreamily, Jaehyun slides the drinks out of my reach and instantly dipped down to have his taste. Jaehyun nodded in approval within seconds. “This is actually good.” I chuckled and nodded my head as well in agreement.

My attention then turned to the cake. With eyes that could replicate the ones with big stars in anime shows, I brought close to me and giggled at the decoration on top of the cake. It looked good, but it seemed like a five year old was the one that decorated it. I could tell Mark was trying to make it ass appealing as possible, but the few slips of mistake made me smile to myself just a little at his clumsiness. I grabbed a fork and dig in, the pitch of my hum going high as I chewed as let myself sink into the taste like a bath. Jaehyun snatched the fork out of my hand and took a bite for himself. He did a one on one replication of my reaction. “It’s been so long since I’ve tasted something this good.”

“Tell me about it.” I moaned out after finishing my bite and swallowing it down. I smacked my lips and turned my attention to the guys. My eyes absentmindedly made its way to Jeno, again silently preparing the Jeno Latte while admiring the noises from his friends. I licked my lips, turning to Jaehyun’s drink to steal another sip. I only ordered latte for the sole purpose of hoping it’ll help me stay up late tonight to study. The random cookies was just something I picked out for the fun of it. The wait wasn’t long at all and now Jisung was the one that came to serve me my food. “Thanks.” I muttered, flashing a kind smile. His giggled softly and shyly went away. He really seemed like the kid and youngest among all of them, seeing how he keeps getting targetted by the rest but is showered with love the next moment.

The Jeno Latte and cookies I got was just as appetising as the food that Jaehyun got so I went in for a taste instantly. I wasn’t surprise to find out that it tasted good as well. Jaehyun and I ate silently for awhile, talking about how college is going. I never understood how Jaehyun could be so smart and yet be able to have tons of fun off campus. I thought being a law major would take up hours of your free time. “Time management.” Jaehyun always reminded me. But that was something I just could never grasp. I’d either get too lazy, or be too uptight that I solely focus on my studies that I lose track of everything else in the world. I’m currently in the phase of the latter, until now.

Jaehyun was talking to me when my eyes slowly trailed off his attention and to the guys, who seemed to be sitting on the tables and stools not far away from where we were. I guess it was their break time. They were talking loudly and laughter spread its noise around the café in no time. A soft smile left my lips as I somehow felt that they liven up the atmosphere so much. Even if it wasn’t for me. It’s nice to hear it. I was left with finishing my drink, and with every sip I’d think about how Jeno made it. I shocked myself whenever Jeno popped into my mind. What was it about him that had my mind so wrapped up about?

“Earth to _____? You there?” I came zinging back to reality when I heard Jaehyun talking. “Huh?” I asked, shaking my head to shake the thoughts away. “You know... I could help you ask them for their numbers.” I widened my eyes and shook my head even more furiously than before. “What? No, it’s fine.” I leaned forward and rest my chin on the palm of my hand, my head slowly turning back to the direction of the guys. They were in their own little world, a carefree atmosphere that give zero notice for the world. I smiled softly again.

“Seems like suddenly I have a much better view in this neighbourhood that I thought was getting boring.”

—I wanna see her again. Maybe I'll just be a friend. Or a lover to lean on.

Jeno couldn’t help but finally try to breathe normally the moment she and Jaehyun left the café. It’s as if her presence held his breath for the longest time. But for some reason, he wasn’t suffering for one second the whole way. “Jeno, are you okay?” Haechan’s words suddenly rang through his ears and he shot his head to him. It was then that he realised he was probably showing too much, to the point where it seemed like he was panting. “I’m fine.”

Renjun chuckled beside him, resting his arm on his shoulder and leaning in close to Jeno’s face. He grimaced at the sight and back his body away a few inches. “The fuck is wrong with you?” Jeno asked as the wide smirk on Renjun’s face creepily appeared. “It’s so obvious you were shaken up by that girl. You know she’s been staring at us. I think specifically you.” As much as Jeno wanted to deny it, it was indeed true. From the moment she stepped in, Jeno already had his eyes on her. And he could tell she felt them drilling into her back, seeing how she was staring at him as well. Jeno frowned a little. “Maybe not.” He thought. She seemed to be head over heels for all seven of them.

Jeno liked the way she smiled. The way she loved looking at the view the café had through the window. The way she took time to register their names and faces while Jaehyun introduced them. She stared at all of us, examining their features and what made them unique. He liked how she carelessly took Jaehyun’s food the moment it arrived first, as if she didn’t care about how Jaehyun react. She was extremely pretty too. Jeno was instantly drawn into her looks and it seemed like all the light from the world had dimmed itself down just to give focus onto her, and her only. You could say Jeno experienced love at first sight.

“I swear I could see him trying not to look at her every second.” Jisung added on, only making Jeno roll his eyes. “So?” Jeno lashed out, twirling his body around on the stool to stand up and fold his arms, walking where? He himself didn’t know, so he simply stood there awkwardly and turned around to face them. “So you should talk to her the next time she comes.” Jaemin, Jeno’s closest friend among all of them lets out, crossing one leg over the other with relaxation. Jeno huffed silently and glanced down to his feet, slowly shaking his head. “I don’t want to.” He said. “Don’t tell me it’s because of what happened last year, Jeno...” Mark looked up to Jeno with worried eyes. Of course it’s because of that.

It’s been long since Jeno fell in love. He never had his eyes on anyone after that one incident of the girl he liked for so long turning against him and pouring him with humiliation for a whole year during high school. That incident left a permanent scar on Jeno’s heart, one that he knew he could never mend. Everything was still vividly etched into his memory. And no matter how deep Jeno buried them, some nights it’ll resurface, and send him down the rabbit hole of the darkest period of his life. But that was when he met his friends. This group of friends. And as if fate had fallen on him, they all went to the same college. His happiness and light was solely on them, and he’d give his all for the six. And it’s because of his love for their friendship that he was able to forget about wanting a significant other, he felt that he didn’t need one.

Until he saw her.

“If she comes back.” Jeno emphasised the first one with quick speed and exaggeration. He could only hope that fate would shine some light on him again. Jeno smacked his lips and looked up from the floor, forcing a tapped-up smile as if the thought of not being able to see her again filled up in his chest but he needed to press it down. “Oh come on, she will. Didn’t you see how she kept staring at us? She’ll come just to look at our faces.” Renjun commented. “I wish it was just me.” Jeno replied in his mind mentally, but all he was able to let out was, “Sure, I guess.” With a careless shrug. “Hm but why haven’t we seen on campus before?” Jisung asked in a hushed tone, his hand scratching his head unconsciously.

Jisung was right though. Jeno had never seen her. Indeed there were a lot students on campus. But he felt that he was familiar with almost everyone that walked down the hallways. Stranger, acquaintances, classmates. He’d at least recognise their faces. But why hasn’t she come to mind at all? It’s as if she was invisible his entire college life, and she caught Jeno’s attention only now. “Different majors. Different lecture times. Isn’t it obvious?” Renjun replied. The room fell silent, allowing Jeno to sink deeper into his thoughts. He repeated what Renjun said in his head. It could’ve been true. But most students would hang out on campus before or after lectures for hours on end, simply lounging around and doing nothing but just having their presence there. Was she the type to go straight back to the dorms after lecture?

More thinking resulted in more questions about her. Questions that Jeno wished he’d know the answers to. But then again, he couldn’t expect to know much. It was the first time they met, the first time they laid their eyes on each other. Nothing was certain, and everything felt unknown. One thing’s for sure. Jeno certainly want to see her again soon.

—I'm catching the pieces again. Of a heart that would like to pretend. That it isn't bleeding.

I just came out of lecture. My feet was dragging against the rough stone floor with my back hunched over and my face bored. I was barely able to get any sleep last night, doing draft after draft after draft for my architecture assignment. Although I liked being in the major, sometimes I do contemplate my decisions. Today was no different. My eyes were half open and my mind was solely focus on going back to the dorms, to my bed, wanting to wraps myself up in my fluffy blanket and sleep for ten hours straight.

“Hey, _____?” I heard a voice. It took awhile for my brain to register it, with me groaning softly and humming in question. I lifted my head up to force it to sit right in my neck. I adjusted my vision. And I almost stumbled back. “Taeyong?” This can’t be happening. I’m not dreaming. Lee Taeyong, my ex boyfriend. “Get away from me.” My instincts were at its peak. I was too tired, and I knew my feelings of suppressed anger would begin bubbling up the more I stayed in his presence. I distanced myself away from him slowly and quickly walked forward. I knew him too well. He already had his fingers wrapped around my thin wrist. “I just want a moment.” I heaved a soft sight and forced myself to turn. I was expressionless. I didn’t care about anything he would say next.

“I just... um well...” I could tell he was trying to form up a sentence, but the constant stuttering made it difficult for me to make sense of anything. I huffed and shook my head. Suddenly I was getting a headache and I felt like dropping on the floor to sleep right then and there. “If you don’t have anything to say-” “I miss you, okay? That’s what I wanted to say.” My breathing hitched in my chest. His words longed itself into me, making me freeze in my spot. No, this can’t be happening now. Not right now, when I’m in this state, when my mind is too vulnerable and my whole being was not in its right place. “Taeyong...” I whispered, my voice giving him the reaction to soften his grip on my wrist.

“You know I can’t do this. We can’t do this. And I seriously don’t have the time anymore.” I quickly slid my wrist out of Taeyong’s reach when given the chance. Taeyong’s hand reached out just a fraction, but he pulled it back and rubbed his palm awkwardly on his jeans, glancing away before shakily meeting my eyes. “Why? I’m sorry. You can tell I mean it, right?” I hated how his voice sound so sweet, so sincere. When none of these feelings were even true in the first place. I loved Taeyong, I really did. But he was nothing like how he’s being now. Arrogant, careless, cold. Since when was he this... vulnerable? “No. I’m tired. I can’t do this right now, Taeyong.”

Anger was starting to bubble up in me just as I expected. I ran a hand through my hair in frustration, adjusting my bag that was slung on one shoulder and making an attempt to straighten my body. “Don’t come back to me. Just don’t.” I walked past Taeyong. And luckily, he didn’t try to chase after me. I glanced back for a brief moment, and all I saw was him standing there, motionless like all of life has been sucked out of him. “As you should.” I muttered. He’s getting what he deserved. I won’t put up with him any longer. While I walked down the hall, my body grew more heavy than it was before. The headache was getting unbearable and now I was staring to feel the need to eat.

I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. One place popped up. The café. I quicken my pace to get there as fast as possible. And by the time I reached the staircase, it was already evening. I climbed up the stairs which little to no energy, my bag bringing the weight of my body down so much I felt like collapsing. I finally made it to the door, pushing it open. My head was hung low, and I made my way to the first seat I saw. I pressed my hands to my head as I leaned into the table to try and suppress my headache. But it was only getting worse with each dreadful second passing by. “Hey, are you okay?” I groaned and lifted my head up with all energy I had, meeting my eyes with the one and only Jeno.

“No I’m not. I feel like dying.” My voice began breaking and I shocked myself with just how weak I was. Did college really made me this bad? Made me stoop this low? “Oh um- hold on. I’ll get you some water.” Jeno went away and I could hear his feet shuffling quickly, coming back with a glass full of water and placing it on the table, my eyes following as he slide it in front of me. “There. Please drink. You look terrible.” Jeno commented, proceeding to take a seat next to me with his hands on his knees and leaning in to examine my current state. I scoffed softly, bringing the cup to my lips and downing half of it and slammed it back down on the table, which surprisingly made Jeno flinch beside me.

“I’d rather get drunk or die.” I mumbled under my breath, but if was loud enough for him to hear. “It’s kind of early to get drunk.” Jeno replied softly, as if not knowing whether my statement was expecting a reply or not. I furrowed my eyebrows and lifted my eyes off the cup of water, seeing how the whole café was coloured in a hue of orange. I turned to the window, my eyes meeting with the sunset sky that was painted with various colours and shades of orange to yellow with spots of pink and red. “Wow.” I let out, the silence of the café got my voice to echo through. Jeno hummed in reply and I turned my attention onto him.

I took time to look at Jeno. His blonde hair was just a tad bit messy. Being up close made me realise that he was ten times more good looking than when I last saw him. His skin was as clear as day with features so perfect you’d hardly find anyone that looked even close to him. His lips where a soft shade of pink and smooth. He was wearing a white shirt underneath the dark blue apron just like last time. But it was only now that I could see the muscles of his arms peeking through his sleeves ever so slightly. “We picked this place specifically just to get that view.” Jeno said, his voice just a whisper as he leaned in closer. Not too close till it was uncomfortable, but I could certainly feel my face about to heat up. “Thoughtful indeed. That’s nice.” I breathed out.

“What are you doing here, if I may ask?” Jeno tilted his head as he asked, and I placed the cup down after finishing the last sip of water. “I just... need something to eat. My body hates me right now and so does my mind if I keep thinking about-” I thought for a second before resuming, not wanting to mention Taeyong’s name out loud or I’d go on a mad rampage. “Well... yeah.” I awkwardly ended. There was no reaction in Jeno’s expression for a moment. But a soft smile began to crack on his lips, which I couldn’t lie, sent butterflies fluttering down in my stomach. “So of all places where you could have a proper meal, you chose here.” Jeno nodded his head like his assumption was correct. And indeed it was. I had to see a prettier and kinder face than Taeyong’s right now. And Jeno was definitely serving it.

“Question though...” I began. Jeno raised his eyebrows in response. “Where’s the rest of your friends?” It’s as if the question lodged right into him because he sat there frozen for a long while, simply staring into my eyes and only blinking twice. I began to wonder that went through his mind that my question had such an impact on him. “They went out to see some baseball game. Which isn’t really my thing.” Jeno exhaled sharply as he rose up from the stool, making his way to the workplace. “Then what is your thing?” I asked, raising my voice slightly higher for him to hear. Jeno turned around, already standing behind the counter. He cupped his hands on the edge and leaned in, his shoulders raising up a little.

“Ice hockey. The guys and I would play on very special occasions.” Jeno clicked his tongue, wanting to move but stopped mid motion to turn back to me. “What can I get you, by the way? I forgot to ask for your order.” I sucked in my lips and sighed, shaking my head and shrugging. “Anything that’ll make me feel better than I do now?” I wasn’t even sure what I wanted. I’d kill to eat anything right now. Jeno chuckled, his low voice shocking me as to how attractive it was. “Coming right up.” He simply said, his attention going off of me and getting to work.

Again I had my eyes on him the whole time, my mind was still fixated on what got me to be drawn into him this much, as if nothing could break my eyes off him. I sighed and let my head drop on the table, wrapping my arms below to serve as a pillow while I shut my eyes to allow them to rest. My headache got a little better, and my thoughts on Taeyong were slowly drifting away as it made space for me to think of Jeno. I might not know him well, but something in me wanted to know him more. His quiet and minimalist aura gave off a mysterious hue, felt as if he’d be hiding something when there actually isn’t. A simple man, is what I got describe him based on my first impressions.

A knock on the table was suddenly heard, but my senses were not shocked by it and I slowly fluttered my eyes open and lifted my head up, my eyes meeting Jeno’s. “Hope this will do.” He whispered, like his voice could disrupt me from my current state of peace. I gulped and sat my straight, stretching my back and cracking my neck. My eyes trailed from his face and to the food that he proceeded to place in front of me. “I honestly didn’t know what you’d like so I got what you ordered last time. I just gave more cookies.” Jeno shrugged, but something underlying in his voice told me there was more thought being put into it than it should be. I couldn’t help but smile, seeing a whole lot more cookies on the plate than before, and the Jeno Latte seemed as appealing. “Thanks.”

I picked the latte off the table and took a sip, relaxation and calmness hitting me the moment the liquid went down my throat. I licked my bottom lip and looked down at the cookies. Placing the cup down, I grabbed a cookie and held it out to him. “Take one.” I said. Jeno stared at me, and I felt like it went on for the longest time. His eyes constantly flickered from me to the cookie, and when I wasn’t getting an answer, I shoved it closer to him, jerking my head. This time, he made no hesitation to reach for the cookie and shove it whole into his mouth. I giggle at the sudden reaction, watching his cheeks puff up like a squirrel’s.

Jeno smiled sheepishly as he ate silently and so did I, switching from the cookies to the drink. The silence wasn’t at all jarring or awkward, rather peaceful and nice. The silence I shared with Jeno was something I have not experienced in a long time. It wasn’t lonely. That was something both of us must’ve felt. “When are you guys officially opening?” I asked as the sudden question popped up in my head. Jeno hummed, glancing up thoughtfully before looking at me. “If I’m being honest, I don’t have an answer. The guys and I are taking it slow. And we only just had one round of stock coming in to try out the menu.” Jeno grew silent for a moment, his eyes narrowed to the table for a second. “Perhaps a month?” Jeno raised his shoulders with question. I nodded, accepting any answer just to hear him talk.

“So I can come here for a month?” I questioned again. This time my question got him to raise an eyebrow just a fraction. “You aren’t coming after we open?” Jeno threw a question back at me and I breathed out a short laugh, smacking my lips. “From the looks of it, you would be getting a ton of customers. I hate places that are crowded and suffocating.” Jeno folded his arms on the table and leaned in, so much so that his elbow was touching mine. “What makes you think we’ll have a lot of customers?” I scoffed, the side of my lips lifting up a little from doing so. I glanced a way for a moment. “A bunch of handsome guys running a café. Who wouldn’t come?” I tilted my head, raising both eyebrows.

“You’re basing the popularity of our café on our looks and not our abilities in making drinks and snacks? I’m hurt indeed.” Jeno nodded his head in feigned affirmation, making me gasp out a laugh and shaking my head vigorously. “No! No! I mean... well.” I bobbed my shoulders. “That’s exactly what you’re implying.” Jeno doted and I rolled my eyes, chuckling. “You can’t deny that. I bet you know it yourself.” Jeno moved his lips to one side, again he was nodding and this time he had his eyes on the window. The sun had already fully set and just welcomed the ink black dark sky. “I’m on the humble side of my group of friends. But sure, I’ll believe you.” The fact that he could be in denial of his looks made something stir in my stomach. “What’s your major?” I wondered if that was too quick of a topic change, because I saw Jeno leaning back ever so slightly from the sudden question.

“English major. Why’d you ask?” My mouth formed the shape of an ‘O’. But that was all my face did. Instead I had an expressionless look, boring my eyes into Jeno. “What?” “You talk like an English major.” I said, picking up the last piece of cookie and plopping it into my mouth, downing it with the last sip of latte. “And it’s no wonder I’ve never seen you before.” My voice grew softer with each word, my eyes traling along his face, unintentionally going to his lips. I looked back up instantly, locking my gaze onto him. Jeno was frozen in his spot, seemed like he didn’t know what to do, or say. But after a long pause, he finally let’s out, “Your classes are at night.” I hummed in reply. “And I usually don’t have time to venture around campus like Jaehyun.” The two of us let out faint chuckles. Till my phone rang.

The two of us turned our heads to where my phone was placed, just at the edge of the table. Taeyong’s name was shown on screen, clear and intimidating. “What the fuck?” I got scared to the point I couldn’t pick up my phone. I didn’t lean in to check if my eyes were working right, instead I leaned back. I took in a breath and swallowed the mix of feelings that began bubbling in my throat. “You good? Hey...” Jeno reached his body out to me, his hand placed on my elbow, concerned eyes searching mine. “I-I can’t pick that up.” I shook my head furiously, the vivid memories coming back then and there. My nerves were shocked with a wave of intimidation. My eyes blinked rapidly and even my body was shaking. I felt like collapsing.

“Hey, hey. Calm down.” Jeno held me with both his hands on my arms, in an attempt to get me to face him. I looked at his face, then stared at his eyes, but the ringing of the phone kept going into my brain. “Sh.” I was breathing heavily but I slowly got lost in Jeno’s soft eyes, and I slowed my pacing. Jeno lets go of one arm and picked up my phone, his eyes still on me. “I’ll answer.” He whispered, like he was careful and gentle with his words, wary of how I’d react. But I nodded. Jeno pressed the answer button, jerking his head to adjust his hair and placing the phone to his hear. “Hey, sorry but may I know why you’re calling?”

I couldn’t make out what Taeyong was saying over the phone, it was faint and indistinguishable. “She’s with me. And she didn’t look good the moment she saw your name on her phone.” Jeno raised an eyebrow, eyes breaking away from mine for a brief moment to the phone but quickly placed it back to his ear. “I don’t think you’ll be hearing from her any longer. Have a nice day.” Jeno ran flicked some strands off his forehead and held the phone in front of him with mo hesitation to end the call. He placed my phone hard on the table, screen faced down. I was scared that the protection screen would have cracked from the impact.

“It’s okay. You’re okay now. Calm down, please.” Please. Why was he saying please? It’s not his fault I was reacting like this. He placed his hand back on my arm and it felt like his fingertips sent an electric shock through my veins and to my whole body. It was quick and light, I flinched from his touch. He must’ve gotten the wrong impression, because he was searching my eyes again, wondering if what he did just now was wrong in any way. I wish I could talk, tell him that I was okay. But I was still in a phase of trauma and pain. I shut my eyes and placed a hand to my forehead, wincing. “You need to do back. I’ll send you home.” “No.” Jeno was about to stand up but I quickly grasped his arm, his eyes trailed to it before looking at me. “What?”

I sighed. “You’re friends should be coming back and expecting you here.” I voice was weak. Jeno dipped down till his eyes level with mine. With a seemingly calm raspy tone he muttered, “How does that matter when you’re in this state?” I had no answer. I mean of course I did, but I wasn’t able to say any of them. U was still at a loss of words. My mind was messed up with so many thing, so many thoughts. My negative feelings were put onto overdrive in that short span of time and I was still feeling burnt out. Jeno lets out a sound and pulled me up to my feet. “Let me get you back to your dorms.” I shook my head vigorously.

“No. I’ll go myself.” Why was I acting like this? Why was I acting so... defensive? Perhaps it was due to the embarrassment of having a mere stranger see me in this state, in a state even I was not able to fully overcome. Or maybe it was due to how Jeno would think of me after watching me go through that. Being crazed over a phone call. I didn’t know what to think. But in the end, all I wanted to do was to shut myself from the world. Wanting to block everyone. “Stop it. You aren’t okay. I’ll take you back. Like it or not.” Jeno’s stand got me frightened by a mere bit. His tone was sharp and it sounded almost like an order, the way the words rolled off his tongue quick and firm. I yield immediately with reluctance. “Fine.”

Jeno had his grip on my arm, immediately taking my bag and slinging it on his other shoulder while we walked out. At this point, the night has already settled in, and the cold air gave my skin a light pinch. It was cold, but bearable. We were silent yet again. I wasn’t sure if it was due to us not having anything to talk about, or maybe Jeno didn’t want to bother or worsen my state any further by making a conversation. I would be thankful if he actually meant it like that. Nothing seemed to ring my ears other than the leaves that rustled underneath our feet with each step and the breeze floating by. The pathway back to the dorms was lit with an orange hue from the street lamps paving the way. I had my eyes closed for half the time. It’s as if I didn’t need to walk with them open, because I felt the want to trust Jeno.

It wasn’t long before we finally made it to my dorm’s room. “Are you okay from here? Need me to help you get settled?” I was surprised at how kind he was being. I didn’t expect anyone of our level of relationship to be this helpful, but I guess he was just that type of person. And I genuinely adored it. “I’m not a baby.” I said, a soft smile forming on my lips. “Go on. Thanks for shutting Taeyong away from me.” I continued. I reached into my bag that was still on his shoulder for my keys. I unlocked the door and gestured him to pass me my bag. “Delete his number. You still have him in your contacts.” Jeno advised. I took one last look at him before nodding and said, “Goodnight.” I shut the door.

The door closed, and Jeno still stood there. He wanted to go in. He wanted to hang out with her just a bit longer. What he encountered about her at the café was weird indeed. But he saw it as a need to help her. Something about that Taeyong guy made her past so bad to the point where she reacted that badly. It made her look... vulnerable. Jeno felt the need to protect her in that very moment. Yet, she was defensive when Jeno wanted to help. She wanted to stand her ground with independence, no matter what shame she felt from showing that side of her. Jeno was quickly spiralling down the rabbit hole of love. Was it admiration? Simple affection? Or was he genuinely liking this girl? He didn’t know the answer, but she certainly had him feeling things he had longed forgotten.

Jeno took his time to walk back to the café. He assumed his friends would be there already. But no one seemed to be ringing his phone so he guessed not. He wanted to prolong the time he was alone, with him trying to define what exactly he felt for her. But disappointment fell on him when he already reached the café. And all he could think about was her beautiful face. “Where the hell were you?” Renjun called out from the tables the moment Jeno placed his foot into the café. “I went for a walk.” Jeno lied. He had to. If he didn’t, he’d be bombarded with questions by all of them and he wasn’t sure if he could handle that right now. “That’s a shame. The games was so fun!” Jisung exclaimed. It’s as if Jeno could see the games flashing through Jisung’s eyes as he dreamily stared into space.

“I want to play ice hockey.” Jeno said with a frown. They have yet to play this year. And with the making of the café, that time seemed to be long in coming. “We’ll play soon, Jeno. Chill.” Chenle replied. They brought home takeout and Jeno did not hesitate to drop himself in the empty seat between Mark and Jaemin to have himself a bite of a half eaten burger. “You guys seemed to have fun.” Jeno commented, his eyes trailing to each and every one of them at the table as they all nodded and hummed. “Obviously! The team I bet on won!” Haechan threw his hands in the air and laughed triumphantly. Haechan gave a high five to Jaemin and Chenle as the two of them laughed along.

“That wasn’t fair!” Jisung huffed out. The rest were silently wallowing in the disappointment. “Free ice cream tomorrow.” Chenle chuckled. “We’ll close up at ten?” Renjun questioned. Jeno looked up to the clock on the wall, just above the counter and nodded. The group went on talking for hours. It was mostly them explaining to Jeno about the games that he wasn’t interested in. But for the sake of his friends, he listened. The longer they went on, the longer Jeno noticed the time was way past ten. It was almost twelve. At least they didn’t have classes the next day so that was a good thing. “Um guys...?” Jeno suddenly let out. The whole group went from laughing hysterically to silence and all attention was on him. “Yeah?” Jaemin asked.

“Is it bad to say that I want us to bring back Hot Sauce?” Jeno already expected their expressions. Some showed their shock outwardly, while the rest were simply silent. But their eyes were filled with uncertainty and wary. “You can’t be serious, right?” Mark turned his eyes from the table and to Jeno. Jeno had a second of doubt in his train of thought, but he has fallen too deep, too quick. “Yes.” Haechan instantly stood up and went around the table to Jeno. He turned Jeno to have him. And he placed firm hands on Jeno’s shoulders. “Do you not remember what happened? What we did? The fact we almost got caught?”

Jeno remembered it clearly. It was a regular day for the guys. Everyone was meeting at Mark’s dorm room for a game night. Jeno was about to roll the dice when Jisung came bursting through the door open. “Guys! I need help! I’m freaking out!” Jisung had his feet moving as if the floor was lava and he couldn’t stop jumping. Chenle had to hold him still to get an answer out of him. “I think I made something.” Everyone looked at each other with skepticism painted on their faces, eyes scrutinising Jisung. They didn’t know if they could trust Jisung’s words. To them he was just the youngest, the most innocent. But what he made certainly wasn’t.

“What do you mean?” Mark asked, tilting his head. Jisung panted and tried to steady his breathing for him to answer. “Follow me to the dorm kitchen.” Jisung brisked walked down the hall, Jeno could hesr his feet shuffling but he quickly stopped in his track, turning back to peek his head out of the doorframe. “Come on!” Jisung urged with his hand gesturing to follow him. Everyone was still exchanging unsure glances, but Haechan was the first one to groan as he stood up to his feet from the floor, jerking his head towards the door. “Let’s just entertain whatever he’s up to.” With the room filled with heaves of sigh and hisses, one by one they stood up and left the dorm to visit the dorm kitchen.

By the time all of them were down to the kitchen, Jisung was already standing there with some equipment in front of him. Laboratory equipment. Jeno narrowed his eyes as everyone gathered around the kitchen counter and leaning towards Jisung, most probably to see what was inside that glass flask. What seemed surprising to Jeno was the fact that it didn’t even look like a solution. It was hot sauce. “Jisung if you’re making some prank on us-” “I’m not!” Jisung protested, grabbing the flask firmly in his hand and bringing up in front of him. “I think I made a love potion. With hot sauce.” Yet again, everyone had a look of disbelief. Looks that said “This is ridiculous. How is this even real?”

“You know we won’t believe you unless you prove it.” Renjun said, leaning back with his arms folded and having both brows raised as a sign for a challenge. Prove that the love potion was real, or they’d win this side of the challenge. “Alright, fine. Tell me someone you want to have fall for you. Any one of you.” Jisung slammed the flask on the table, the loud sound making Jeno flinch since he expected the flask to break from the sound of impact. Luckily it didn’t. “I want to try it on one of the girls in my major.” Chenle said, intentionally making it sound like a joke and laughing out loud afterwards. Jisung frowned deeply and had his eyebrows furrowed and eyes darting onto Chenle. “Come on don’t joke around. I actually think this might work.”

“Jeez okay, okay.” Chenle exhaled for a long moment. He placed his hands on the edge of the kitchen counter and leaned forward, shoulder raised. “So are there any rules I need to follow? Because if this is like those love arrows, a wrong move would result in chaos.” Chenle added on. No one responded. Because no one knew how. Everyone was uncertain about this, deeply skeptical and scrutinising of the whole idea. Jisung unfortunately has yet been able to gain even an ounce of credibility from them. “Well, once they taste the hot sauce, you must be in their line of vision. If my theory is correct, the first person they make eye contact with will the one they’ll fall for.” Jisung sounded like he was some advanced chemist. And to some extend, he was. He is taking a chemistry major after all.

“Have you tried this on... I don’t know, a test subject or something? Rats?” Mark questioned, and it sounded like a genuine one. Jeno simply folded his arms and kept himself quiet while he tried to let all the information sink in. It was hard to believe, and what were the chances of it actually working? The unknown answers to Jeno’s never ending questions, which he’s certain that it was on everyone’s mind as well, got him to let out an unintentional huff through thin lips. “Well... no. But that is why I’m asking you guys to try it. Tomorrow.” Jisung sounded determined. And Jeno couldn’t help but have his heart soften at the sight of his poor friend. “Is there anything else we should know about this ‘love potion’?” The words felt weird rolling off his tongue, it just didn’t set right with him just yet.

“I honestly have no idea what happens after. How deeply they’ll love you, how to break it. I can’t be certain on any of that.” Chenle, Haechan and Renjun gaped their mouths open and let out a breath. “Then shouldn’t we use it on other people and not ourselves?!” Renjun exclaimed. Jisung rolled his eyes with exasperation and slammed his hands palm down on the counter. “I- of course! Why would I put you guys in danger? What I meant was that any of you could ask anybody to try it. I didn’t mean to use it for it to work on you!” Jisung shouted, a groan following after. The kitchen fell silent and an unfamiliarly tense air surged through the gaps of the seven friends.

“Fine. Chenle, take the hot sauce. We’ll meet at the café for Chenle to report what happens. Alright?” The silence continued for a short moment before everyone hummed softly and nodded their heads. Jisung picked up the cork and placed it on the flask, pushing it to Chenle. Everyone watched as Chenle picked it up and took time to examine the flask and its content. He sucked in his lips and nodded as well. With that, everyone exited the kitchen and decided to go back to their own dorms. The thoughts of Jisung and the potential love potion lingering on through the night.

After the spam of a week or so, Jeno was deeply anticipating for the results as he rushed his way to the café at evening. When he entered, everyone was already surrounding the tables, again they were silent. He knew Chenle have yet to tell them the results since everyone gestured for Jeno to come join them, and he took long sprints to get to the table and settle down. Chenle was rubbing his knees anxiously, some followed, while the rest, including Jeno, were dead silent and simply wanted the answer out. Chenle finally took in a deep breath. “It worked. It fucking worked.”

Everyone was speechless, motionless. Everyone’s eyes trailed to each and every one of them, eventually staring down at Chenle and occasionally Jisung. Jisung was the first the move, his mouth hanged open and his eyes widened till it looked like his eyeballs could have fallen out of their eye sockets. Jisung snatched the flask that still had some hot sauce left and raised it in the air. Jeno could see the victorious feelings surging through his friends’s veins. Jisung jumped up from his seat and went in small circles from all the excitement. “Dude! I honestly can’t believe it.” Chenle said. And this time, everyone had an expression of disbelief, but the different kind. The positive kind.

“We need every detail on what happened.” Jeno eagerly asked. Chenle’s story was long winded, but in Jeno’s head, he summarised it as the moment the girl tasted the hot sauce, she suddenly changed. And when she met the eyes of the random guy, she was nothing but head over heels. And it went on for the whole day. “I did some experimenting myself to help you. And I found out how to break the effects of the potion.” Chenle said that the one that tasted the potion had to taste something sweet to settle the taste of heat from the hot sauce. Jisung instantly offered his hand to help make a heartbreak potion in relation to the love potion.

“Do you guys know what this means for us?” Jisung said. Everyone had their brows raised quizzically. “Don’t you see that everyone our age is looking for love? We make it easy for them, and we get paid. We can make a whole business out of this!” Jisung shoved the flask of love potion into everyone’s faces, causing them to lean back, but laughter and happy chuckles spread through the group fast. “Ah yes!” With that, approval was gained. Slowly and surely, they let the news about their secret love potion spread through the campus, and people began buying, with them earning a fortune in no time. It was a successful underground business the guys had, and Jeno was glad he was doing it with his friends.

Until that one day. The day Jaemin used the love potion on himself, and things got extremely rocky. They made a rule to themselves to not use it for their own benefits, but Jaemin was too naive, and wanted to make his crush fall in love with him. But instead, Jeno was one that was loved, not Jaemin. And that almost set the group of friends to crumble with constant distrust. On top of that, being an underground business, they were almost caught by the police. It was an exciting, but also dark time for the guys. Which was why they ended up not making the love potion for good after a few months of easy money, promised to never be brought up again. But it was Jeno that had to do it.

“I remember what happened. But I know what to be careful of now. Please, let me use it.” Jeno was practically pleading at this point. This girl, whoever she was, got him to be this desperate, got him thinking to go to such lengths for her to look his way, and only his. Jaemin placed a hand on Jeno’s shoulders, and his eyes trailed from his hand and to his face. “Please know what you’re doing. I don’t want us being like that again.” Jaemin’s voice was soft and caring, with worry wishing through his words. Jeno blinked one at him, eyes blaring with truth and determination. “I’ll be careful.”

That night, Jeno went back with Jisung to the lab to make the potion, Jaemin following along. Once Jisung was done, and that alone took long hours into the night, Jisung passed it in a small bottle this time, the cork blocking the view of the hot sauce from the top view. Jisung tapped Jeno’s shoulder and walked out of the kitchen, leaving with him and Jaemin in the quiet of the dead night. “I hope it works.” Jeno whispered, eyes on the bottle. He felt Jaemin’s eues on him. “I hope so too.” The words were heavy, and Jeno knew what he was implying. “It’s fine that we went through that. But please don’t let it happen again.”

I was at my study table. The papers were scattered all over in a huge mess. If I were to look at that all that any longer, I might just faint. I turned to around on my chair, letting my body sink into it as I threw my head back in stress and despair. I’ve been sitting here for hours now, and the amount of work I was able to get done was definitely not up to my satisfaction. On top of the stress of having a lot of assignments, I was now stressed on the fact that I wasn’t able to complete any of them. I guess it’s just one of those days when your brain refuses to function. And I seriously hate those days.

I called Jaehyun, asking him to video call me to serve as my mental support and encouragement to do my assignment. But instead he brought up the suggestion of studying at the café. And to that I immediately said yes. “Only if you pay for the food.” I said with a happy laugh as I jumped off my chair to get ready. “i’m sure they’re kind enough to make it free.” I smiled wider. It was late at night and I’m surprised at the fact that they’re still open. Just what time did they close?

Jaehyun and I went in, but we were greeted with only three of them present. Haechan, Mark, and Jeno. “Oh hey guys!” Haechan got up from his seat when he heard the door open and his eyes met ours. The other two turned around and waved at us. I responded back. Jeno’s eyes were locked on mine for what felt like an eternity, and my heart couldn’t help but skip a beat. Luckily it wasn’t enough to have me heat up. That is, until he smiled. The butterflies were quick to flutter in my stomach and heat was raised up to my cheeks. I could only hope that it wasn’t obvious. Jeno’s smile was brief but bright. If he didn’t smile, it’ll seem like he’s someone unapproachable, closed off. That smile changed everything about his aura.

“We just came here to study.” I let out, holding up the stack of papers i had in my hand before bringing it back to my chest. Jaehyun hummed right after and they all nodded, their smiles still plastered on their faces. “We’re hoping to get free drinks?” Jaehyun grinned back, almost in a mischievous way as he raised both his eyebrows up in anticipation. I laughed sheepishly. “We don’t mind.” Jeno said as he rolled his shoulders and slid his hands into his pockets. “What can we get you?” Jeno slowly walked up to where we seat. His eyes were taking small glances to me, and I tried my best to look away to seem natural. “There’s a watermelon drink, right?” Jeno nodded his head. “I’ll just get that.”

“And you?” Jeno gestured to Jaehyun. He offered to allow Jeno choose the drink that was easiest for him to make. I turned my head to the window, afraid that I might explode from the way Jeno kept looking at me. Once he went away, I immediately turned back to face Jaehyun and gasped for air. I can never breathe properly when Jeno’s around. “You don’t look okay.” Jaehyun let out with a raised brow. “Do you think I should be like those girls that don’t think they need anybody to make the guy like them more?” I questioned as the sudden thought popped up in my head. “You mean play hard to get.” Jaehyun gave me an unimpressed look, to which I responded with a roll of my eyes.

“Why would you do that?” Jaehyun asked, purely out of curiosity. “Mm, because it seems like Jeno’s likes me or something.” I shrugged and slumped my back into the chair. Jaehyun turned his head to the threes guys, specifically eyeing Jeno and snapping his head back to me with a laugh of amusement. “I wouldn’t be surprised.” Jaehyun raised his shoulders and folded his arms on the table, leaning in slightly. “But why play hard to get?” I laughed, and Jaehyun was shocked at my response. “Just think it’ll be fun. I’ve never experienced love in awhile now. Nothing wrong in playing a little.” I tilted my head to the side as I watched Jaehyun gape his mouth open and scrunching his face. “There’s so many things wrong with that, _____!” I frowned.

“My life, my rules.” I simply said with a light giggle. Mark came back and served our drinks. He was quick to shuffle back to his friends, not wanting to make a small talk. Jaehyun and I took out our materials for studying, or in my case assignments and began to get to work after I took a sip of my drink and set it aside by the window. The café was entirely silent for the whole time, merely small chatters and bickering from the three that sat at the other table. But after awhile, the murmurs died out. But I didn’t bother to look away from my work since watching Jaehyun actually gave me an encouragement boost, seeing how he’s hardworking and fully in the zone.

I decided to take a five minute break after burning through most of my assignments in a few hours. I didn’t even know what time it was. All I knew was that the sun had set and the night had made itself comfortable in the sky. When I looked up to grab my drink from the window, I saw myself in the reflection, but I also saw Jeno, plainly having his back faced away from me. He’s the only one there, Mark and Haechan were gone and out of sight. I turned around to him. “Hey, Jeno?” I called out, loud enough for him to hopefully hear. He lifted his head up instantly and shot his eyes to me quick. “Yes?” He replied, dropping his phone onto his lap. “Where did Mark and Haechan go?”

Jeno’s mouth formed an ‘O’ as he stood up and idled his way up to our table. He clasped his hands behind his back. “They went out to eat.” Jeno replied with a soft smile. That simple movement would be running laps in my mind. “Why didn’t you go?” Jaehyun questioned as he set his pen down and lifted his arms to stretch them out as well as his back. “He has to take care of the café, Jae.” I replied bluntly since the answer was obvious, but I guess Jaehyun was still zinging back from all the work he had done. Jeno nodded his head upon hearing my response. “I can’t leave the cafe unattended.” There was a long pause of silence for a moment, as Jaehyun and I watched Jeno standing upright awkwardly. “Actually, I might join them.”

I creased my forehead as my mouth gaped open slightly the moment Jaehyun said that. I saw the look in his eyes. I knew what he was doing. I narrowed my eyes down on him and he winked back with glee. I took a moment to take a quick glance at Jeno, and although it was fully visible, a look of shock could be seem for a brief second before disappearing and plastering on a neutral expression. “I’m starving so.” Jaehyun left the unfinished sentence hanging in the air as he rose form his chair and begin to pack up, grabbing all his belongings from the table and placing it into his bag quickly. I knew he was in a rush to get Jeno and I alone. I all but wanted to smack him in the head. “Text me when you get back to the dorms, okay!” Jaehyun shouted from the door as he happily waved at me and ran out of the café.

I absentmindedly let out a sigh as a reaction of Jaehyun’s intention for going out. I lifted my head to Jeno, who was staring at the table so intensely. “You can sit, you know.” I gestured my chin to the table in front of me and with a nervous laughter, he slowly sat down, placing his phone faced down on the table and sliding the chair in. “How was studying?” Jeno asked. I could feel him tense up already, as if I could read his mind while he bit his lower lip. “Why ask such a question?” Was what Jeno could be thinking in his head. “I was actually able to get my shit done. Well, almost.” I chuckled, beginning to gather up my papers and stacking them neatly. While doing so, I felt his eyes on me, as if watching my every move. As a tease, I shot my eyes up to him like a slingshot, a mischievous smile forming on my lips.

Jeno widened his eyes when I did, and I couldn’t help but laugh softly. “You look tensed up with me, calm down.” I finished stacking up my papers and shove it to the side, realising that my cup was already empty to mere drops gathered at the bottom. “I’m not tensed, please.” Jeno cracked a smile and ran a hand through his hair, and oh God I’d want to reply that in my head for hours on. Boy was I falling for this boy fast. But I’d want to classify my feelings as pure infatuation. Although I would want to fall in love, I wanted to be more careful this time, not to fall head over heels on the first glance. “How did you guys come up with the idea of opening up the café?”

That question set our long time of conversation going. I didn’t know how, but our topics quickly changed and as the night grew darker, the topic began to grow more deep, more personal. I got to know a few things about him. Like how he liked to bike, and has a thing for cats. He told me that the possibility of the fact that I didn’t know him was because he was only popular in his major as well as the connections of his friends. And I’d agree. I never did anything else other than going for lectures and going to the dorm straight after. I wasn’t the most social out there, but neither was Jeno. His only friend circle were his six friends, and that’s that.

“You seem to have the perfect life.” I muttered, at this point, I had my body faced to the window, looking at the ink black sky that was painted with splatters of white as stars. What’s even better was that the moon was shining, and that gave the darkened café a glow above the white aesthetic of the café. “I just never been in love for a long time.” I blinked my eyes, turning to Jeno. Jeno’s eyes flickered with uncertainty for a moment, but he slowly shook his head to get rid of them. “That’s a story for another time.” I didn’t know how, but I guess the ambiance of the café got our voices to get soft and gentle, exchanging our words with whispers and mutters. It was so calming and peaceful. My night talk with Jeno was something I wished I could do every night. The quietness of the atmosphere, and everything about this moment. I wanted it to last.

“You should go home. I’m worried I’m keeping you up.” Jeno must’ve noticed how my eyes kept fluttering open each time I talked, with them falling back to close right after. I weakly hummed and moved my body to face him. “Yeah, I guess.” With that, Jeno helped me to pack my things and send me to the door. “You are okay to go back yourself, right?” I hummed again. “How’s that Taeyong guy, he’s not texting you or anything?” I smacked my lips and heaved a long sigh. “He’s far into my past for me to give a fuck anymore. Well, except for that one night. But yes, I am well capable of going myself.” I flashed a reassuring smile. He placed a hand on my shoulder, sending a bolt of lighting through my whole body, but I tried to not make myself flinch at the touch and left the café.

—Say you'll call me baby.

The moment Jeno closed the door, he couldn’t help but frown. He slowly took the small bottle of love potion out of his apron, playing it around his palm as he thought of whether he should use it or not. It seemed like she genuinely liked him. But it also felt like she didn’t want to be anything more. But how could Jeno assume her feelings towards Jeno this quickly. All Jeno is right now is blinded by her everything. And he wanted her to be his. I wrapped his fingers around the bottle tightly, squeezing it hard as he thought over it one last time. Was it the right thing to do? No. But was Jeno desperate? Yes. He wanted her desperately, and if the love potion’s not going to let someone like her slip out of his grasp, he’ll gladly do it. It sounded selfish if he were to say it out loud, but he couldn’t help it.

“I want her to call me baby.”

“You haven’t used it on her yet?” Jeno jumped at the familiar voice, shooting his head up so fast it almost gave him whiplash. Jaemin was standing right in front of him, posture laid back and relaxed with his hands sliding in his pockets. His eyes flickered to the bottle for a moment and back to him. Jeno was too deep in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice his friend making an entrance. Jeno noticed the shift of his eyes and looked down to the bottle as well, quickly pulling it out of their sight by placing it behind hum. “Um- well no. Not yet.” Jeno said, his voice just slightly shaky after he cleared his throat. “Why?” Jaemin swerved around Jeno to get past him and Jeno turned around.

To get his mind to settle after going far with this thoughts, he decided to ask another question. “Why’re you here?” Jaemin clicked his tongue, his back still facing Jeno as he walked around the café. Jaemin inhaled sharply, his chest lifting up before it went back down in a flash. “They told me to come check on you. Don’t know why because I know you’re responsible enough to close the café yourself.” Jaemin didn’t look at him when he replied as he slowly walked to the window. “You didn’t answer me.” Jaemin muttered. “It’s too quick to use it now.” Jeno let out in a mere whisper, he knew his friend would hear him. Jeno took slow strides to stand next to Jaemin who was by the window, noticing just how deep into the night they were.  

Jaemin turned his head slightly to Jeno, but not entirely. HIs eyes were still on the scenery.  “I thought you were so eager to use it. You seem to really like her.” Jaemin added on. Jeno could hear his gentle breathing. Jeno sucked in a breath to prolong the time he needed to answer. To be very honest, he didn’t exactly have one. But after a long pause, he let out, “I just wanted to see if it’s even needed to use the love potion.” Jeno frowned ever so slightly, looking at Jaemin in the reflection of the window, seeing a slightly surprised expression on his face but he was quick to ice it over. “Did you not think of the factors that come with this?” Jaemin slid his hands out of his pockets and folded his arms, placing his weight on one leg. 

Jeno raised an eyebrow. “As if I didn’t.” Jeno muttered, his words accidentally rolling off his tongue with a sharp tone which earned an expected scoff from Jaemin. “I’m just saying. Jisung didn’t make that potion in months, almost a hear.” Jaemin gulped, his upper body slowly turned to face Jeno. “What if something bad happens?” At this point, reckless Jeno from the long day was starting to take effect, and he was beginning to get tired of Jaemin sending constant hint, though at the back of his mind he knew Jaemin was saying all the those for his safety, for the safety of his heart. 

“If you don’t want me to use the love potion just say it.” Jeno rubbed his temples and let out a huff. Jaemin was so surprised by Jeno’s reply that he leaned back. Jaemin had never seen this defensive side of his friend in a long time. “I just...” Jeno waited for Jaemin to finish his sentence, but it was left hanging in the tensed air that was between them. “I’m sorry.” Jeno breathed out, glancing down to his feet before lifting his head back up and straightening his back. “It’s fine. It’s your life. Whatever happens, I’ll be here for you.” Jeno turned to him, a small sincere smile was on his face, and it warmed Jeno’s heart enough to reciprocate it. “Let’s pack up. And I’m sleeping at your dorm tonight.” Jaemin’s smile quickly turned to a cheeky one as he hopped to get to the entrance. Jeno chuckled, shaking his head. “Why’s that?”

Jaemin had a hand on the cafe door. Jaemin snapped his head to Jeno’s direction. “I didn’t do that for quite some time now, don’t you think?” Jeno widened his smile till a grin appeared, dashing to turn off all the lights and quickly exiting  the cafe. But before he did, he took one last glance at the table where she seated, almost seeing her figure made his heart thump in a matter of seconds but he shook his head to clear slate of her and ran after Jaemin. 

“Anyone who hasn’t finished their assignments, please get them ready the next time I see you. Don’t ask me for extra credits on this one.” The lecture hall was filled with long groans and whines. I wished I could get out right now so I didn’t have to deal with this any longer. It’s stupid how students beg for extra credits but are yet able to submit their assignment on time. I didn’t see the point to it. My professors rolled his eyes and huffed in exasperation. “Quit the whining you’re all too old for that. Class dismissed.” Everyone instantly stood up from their seats and wasted no time to exit the hall. Everyone was so eager to leave. And wanting to avoid the commotion at the door, I waited behind and took my time to pack up.

Once the exit was completely empty, which only took about five minutes since everyone was pushing each other to get out, I finally slung my bag over my shoulders and carried my laptop in my hand before walking down the stairs to get to the exit. And when I stepped out and turned to the right, I was instantly met and a figure laying their back against the brick wall, legs out while they casually scrolled through their phone. Though I couldn’t see their face due to them wearing a black cap, the bright blonde hair that stood out below was blinding and I immediately knew who it was at the very first glance. “Jeno...?” I called out, walking towards him slowly. He instantly lifted his eyes off his phone, meeting mine and a small smile grew on his lips. “Hey.”

I glanced about our surroundings. There were certainly people staring. Whispers and murmurs floated in the air and came to reach me so fast that I wish I could melt into the floor and disappear from the face of the earth. I sucked in my lips and breathed out, shaking my head. “What exactly are you doing here?” I asked in a hushed tone. I was suddenly feeling cautious as the eyes of whoever’s were drilling down my back. It felt wrong to have Jeno right in front of me right now. It’s as if he was too good for me to be around with. But not going to lie, that is true. Students were giving me disgusted glances and glares. I washed away such thoughts and brought my attention back to Jeno, who had his eyes on the people around us before pushing himself away from the floor and sighing purposefully loud for them to hear.

“I genuinely didn’t know what time you ended lecture so I waited.” Jeno said with the most casual tone ever. I squinted my eyes at him and tilted my head a mere fraction. I took this time to look him up and down. His fit was the most casual thing ever. Black shirt tucked loosely in black jeans ripped at the knees and black sneakers. The black cap made him look mysterious, cold. He’d honestly seem like someone I would never dare to approach with an outfit this dark. But it accentuated his perfect body proportions along with having his biceps just slightly showing under his sleeves. The look was simple, but he made it a hundred time more attractive. “And why were you waiting?”

Jeno lifted his cap off and ran his free hand through his hair. That action alone got my heart to speed up its pace and began to feel unsteady under my skin. “I actually wanted you to come to the café to try something new I made.” Jeno smiled widely till his eyes formed a thin line. The cap overshadowed his face, but I could clearly see the features of his face. And right now, he looked like those cute dogs. However, the low chatters, stares, scrutinising glances were beginning to take over my mind. And for some reason, I wished that I wasn’t standing with Jeno in public right now. “Can you text me and I’ll go some other time?” I whispered, brushing a strand behind my ear as I shot back annoyed eyes to the people walking by, to no one specific. But I knew a lot of people were talking about me. As if I wasn’t made to be In Jeno’s line of vision.

Jeno gave me a weirded out look and blinked his eyes rapidly. “Why? I waited so I could take you there right now.” He said, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. I could tell he was taking quick glances at where I kept looking and he bit his lower lip. “We’ll get out of here.” Jeno reached out to hold my wrist, but I quickly pulled back, shaking my head. “No, please. Just... now’s not the right time. Text me later, I guess.” I gulped and squinted my eyes shut before turning around sharply and walking away in a quick pace. I stared down at the floor, too annoyed to look up as the whispers trailed along behind me but drowned out the further I went. If being around Jeno would earn me such hate, I wouldn’t even dare to be seen with him like just now ever again. I didn’t want to deal with that. Jeno’s too good for me. That I could already tell. And this just confirmed that he was.

—Tell me you'll be okay. If I leave you alone today

Jeno stood there, completely stunned and frozen as he watched her back grew smaller and she went further and eventually disappearing when she turned a corner. Jeno let out a frustrated groan and took his cap off to ruffle his hair, shutting his eyes. He opened them back up with a sharp motion, turning around to walk the other way and a shake of his head. Jeno wondered what was with her sudden defensive aura. He knew it was because of the never ending drills of eyes on them. But he could’ve quickly drew them out of there and headed for the café. Jeno guessed that he was too late. Jeno planned to use the potion on her that day, too bad disappeared the moment he took a step forward for her.

That night, Jeno was restless. He was pacing to and fro of his dorm, throwing his phone up in the air and catching, continuing with that motion through the hours he’d been pacing. Jeno wanted to see her again. Jeno wanted to use the potion. But it seemed like he was losing every given time to do so. And he felt like he was at a loss. Giving up and finding no point in wasting his physical energy walking, he dropped himself onto his bed and laid down, eyes staring into the ceiling as if picturing Jeno and her together, something that would be a gamble to happen. He sighed quietly. “Tell me you’re okay. Even if you don’t want me there.” Jeno whispered to himself as he prayed that she’ll be okay even if he wasn’t there for her.

Jeno hasn’t seen her for the next few days. She didn’t come to the café anymore. And when Jaehyun came occasionally, she wasn’t there with him. Even at the official opening of the café and the time after, she wasn’t there. Jeno was getting worried. She wasn’t even seem on campus whenever Jeno went for lectures. It’s as if she disappeared entirely, just like how it was before. He wondered day after day where she could’ve gone. He would’ve asked Jaehyun, but he said no for the sake of her privacy.

“She’s been through things, Jeno.” Jaehyun muttered, his voice a low rasp as he began explaining about her situation. They were sitting on the benches on campus, and Jeno hoped she’d somehow appear, but of course he couldn’t deny the reality. “What has she been through?” Jeno asked in desperation. He saw the hesitation flicker in Jaehyun’s eyes for a clear moment. He heaved a sigh and ran a hand down his face. “Taeyong. He raped her.” There were no filters to his words, no sugarcoating, nothing. It was out there in the open, hard and tense off his tongue. Jeno could tell Jaehyun’s heart felt heavy in an instant, and so was his. He shouldn’t have asked. Now he was feeling bad.

Later that night he was up again, just like any night. Clearly he had her on his mind. But this time, it was just a little different. Jeno was laying out all he knew in his mind, mapping it all out in hopes to sort out his feelings that he has still yet to unravel and identify. The longer he stared up the ceiling and ponder, he might have just came to a conclusion.

“I’ll use it on you, so you wouldn’t have to go through it again.” That was what Jeno planned to do. He could’ve just made it work like how regular relationships have their buildup. But what if it doesn’t work? What if she’s too scared of Jeno? That’s what he feared. And he wanted to show her that she didn’t need to suffer. He wanted to make sure she knew. He has now shifted his focus on the potion. Clearly he wanted to use it for her to fall in love with him, but he also wanted to make her feel better. To know that Jeno was there for her. He turned to his side with a grunt, staring into blank space before finally shutting his eyes.

I flinched when I was tapped on the shoulder hard and I instantly swing my head behind on instinct. “Jaehyun!” I shouted, punching his arm lightly as he laughed and moved to walk beside me. I folded my arms and feigned a sigh. “Let’s go to the café.” Jaehyun suggested, and my heart suddenly felt its weight. I sucked in my lips, my feelings and mind unsure on making a decision. “I don’t feel like it...” I whispered, glancing down to the floor before looking up to have my face meet the sunlight. I shut my eyes and kept walking with my head lifted up. I heard Jaehyun sigh quietly and he hummed, somewhat finding a way to sort out his words in his head.

“I know you don’t want to go because of Jeno. But just try... No one will get to you like how Taeyong did. I’ll make sure of it.” Jaehyun said, his tone gentle with a sheer underlying persuasion. I groaned and adverted my eyes to Jaehyun. “Even if he likes me, he’s too good for me. People stared at me like it was a crime for someone as perfect as Jeno to be waiting outside the lecture hall for me. It’s ridiculously annoying and I don’t think I can put up with it 24/7.” I ran a frustrated hand through my hair before continuing. “There are plenty of other reasons why he’s too good for me too.” I ended the sentence with a voice almost inaudible.

I could tell Jaehyun was just as frustrated as I am, because he fired back. “He may be too good. But he sees something in you that has never caught his attention like any other girls here. Give him a chance. Get out of your “closed off” phase. I hate how what happened with Taeyong is keeping you from being fully happy.” I hate to admit it, but Jaehyun was right. I’ve never been entirely happy. Of course I had Jaehyun, but he had a life for himself to live. He couldn’t be with me always. And without him, my life hasn’t seen that much joy. And Jeno was seen as a possible opening to that joy for me, maybe.

Jaehyun wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I gave him a death glare. “Don’t give me that look. You know I’m right anyways. So let’s go to the café.” With his strong hold, I knew I couldn’t get out of it and I was about to be dragged to the café just like Jaehyun wanted. I closed my eyes for a moment to mentally prepare myself and we went.

At the café, not all the guys were there. It seemed like they were taking turns to take shifts each day. And today was none other than Jeno. As if fate wanted him to be here, and wanted me to come on this very day. The sunlight was blaring into the café and brought full light on the white of the café. Jeno lifted his head up from the sound of the door opening and smiled. I wished I wasn’t so easily swayed by such a simple movement. But it was Jeno. “The usual?” I had on a confused look till Jaehyun hummed and I realised Jeno was referring to him. I guess he saw my expression, because he turned to me and asked, “Do you want what you ordered last time?” I simply nodded my head, no words coming out of my mouth.

Jaehyun and I took a seat as the two of us watched Jeno preparing our drinks with speed and profession. I exhaled deeply. “I like him. But I’m too scared.” I finally admitted, keeping my voice so low for only one pair of ears to hear.

On the other hand, Jeno was taking quick glances at her, seeing if she was looking. And indeed she was, along with Jaehyun. Jeno kept his eyes on the drinks, but kept peaking down to his apron pocket where the small glass bottle of hot sauce glistened. Jeno wet his lips and slowly took it out as he brought the drinks to the machine. And in one quick swift motion, he made sure he eyed the correct drink and dumped in just three drops of the hot sauce. He gulped deeply and threw it back into the pocket of his apron. He proceeded to quickly make a drink of his own and bringing it to them in a flash. He made sure to not mix up the drink and sat down beside Jaehyun.

I smiled the moment Jeno placed my drink in front of me and sat down. I licked my lips, looking down at the drink and thought about how long it had been since I last drank it. “I actually added something new to that drink. Was wondering if you could tell me what you think.” Jeno leaned in. For some reason, he leaned in quite a lot, as if he only wanted himself to be in my line of sight. I chuckled and nodded my head, dipping down to place my lips on the heart shaped straw. I sucked in a sip, my eyes unconsciously locking onto Jeno’s as he stared at me with such intent and attention.

I swallowed it. I couldn’t help but cough at the taste. It felt the same, but there was something... spicy underlying the refreshing flavours. I scrunched my face up and leaned back, shaking my head. “Jeno... what did you-” My mind went blank.

Jeno was observing her every move. Every twitch on her face. She was blinking her eyes rapidly, and when she opened them back, she had her eyes darting on Jeno, and Jeno only. She gulped, and her eyes were filled something light, a look of uplift. “Jeno...” She whispered softly. She gaped her mouth open and leaned in, their faces merely inches away from each other and Jeno’s heart began to pick up its pace at the small sparks that were bursting between. Even if they weren’t real. “What the fuck?” Jeno turned to Jaehyun when he sounded. He raised an eyebrow and leaned back in his sear with folded arms. “I mean I knew she liked you but she’s never shows it until-” Jaehyun paused, a scoff escaping his lips. “Now.”

Jaehyun didn’t notice her sudden change? Was it not obvious that he used something on her? It looked natural? Jeno’s mind was spiralling with questions and he refrained himself from looking to shocked at Jaehyun’s casual reaction. Jeno slowly adverted his attention back to her. She had her palms on her cheeks. It looked so real. Her eyes were sparkling with Jeno in her sight. Butterflies began to flutter in his stomach, a feeling he’s never felt in so long. It felt new. “I want to be alone with you, Jeno.” Jeno’s eyes widened so much, and he couldn’t help but lean back from the sudden statement. Jaehyun scoffed again, this time louder. “I’ll go.” Jaehyun rose up from his seat. With a sly look, he pat Jeno’s arm firmly and finish whatever’s left of his drink and dashed out.

Jeno watched Jaehyun the whole way till the door closed and he disappeared. Jeno sucked in his lips, hearing her hum softly. “H-How are you feeling?” Jeno was still in bewilderment by how it was actually working. He was indeed fascinated to see the potion working its magic on the person he wanted. “I feel normal. But so in love...” Her giggles echoed through the lone café and Jeno gulped in nervousness the moment she lifted her hand and grazed her fingers his, tracing them slowly and eventually interlocking her fingers with his. Jeno felt the heat rushing up his cheeks. It was clearly obvious that he’s blushing seeing how she used her free hand to brush her thumb on his cheek. “Why are you so cute, hm?” She asked, tilting her head and smiling widely till her eyes formed thin lines.

Jeno chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck that was how sweaty from the sudden overwhelming heat he was feeling. He looked into her eyes. It looked beautiful, shining so bright with so much love and happiness. He’d never seen her like this, and it was like she glowed up like the sun was made to shine only on her. But at the same time, the longer he looked, the longer he began to wonder just how much of the love in her eyes were even real. Maybe a tiny bit, or none at all.

With my eyes shut, I squinted them tight as the sunlight hit my face and glared at me. Struggling to flutter them open, I sat up, pressing my hands into the mattress. And that’s when it hit me. A sharp pain in my head as a migraine began to take place. It was so bad that I pressed my hand to my head, wincing in pain as if a needle was poking into my skull. I groaned and tried to move, but to no avail. I dropped back into bed. I rolled over to cover my eyes from the burning sun. But that was when I tried to search for my phone, frantically tapping the sheets to find it. Once I did, I turned it on, and realised it was twelve in the afternoon.

I sprang out of bed. I took a second look at my phone. How was I unaware of what day it was today? And what happened yesterday? I barely remembered anything. “I didn’t drink, did it?” I questioned myself softly as I lost my balance from the migraine and leaned my hand on the study table as I took wary steps out of my room. I thought it over again. I couldn’t have drank. I didn’t drink in a long time. So how was it that I didn’t remember anything from yesterday? I was able to take slow steps to the living room, dropping myself into the couch and running a hand through my hair. I turned on my phone yet again to call Jaehyun. And as I typed in the first two letters, another name besides Jaehyun’s came up.

“Jeno?” I lifted a hand to scratch my head. I never added Jeno to my contacts list before. When did I do that? I squint my eyes shut, trying my best to recall whatever that I did yesterday, or to know if I was even awake. And the only I last remembered was being at the café with Jaehyun. In an attempt to use some logical thinking, I could deduce that I possibly got Jeno’s number because he was at the café with me yesterday. But why would I ask for it. At the moment, my thumbs moved on its own, too late for my train of thoughts to aline and I already realised that I was calling Jeno. He picked up in a matter of seconds and I brought my phone up to my ear. “Hey baby.”

At the sound of Jeno’s voice and words, I was instantly put in a trance. I didn’t know how, but it was as if I got transported in my subconscious. I knew what was happening, what I was doing. And that was what’s making me have the strong urge to jump out of my skin shock. “Jeno! I missed you, baby!” I cried out, a smile cracking on my lips. I tried to shake my head, but I couldn’t. I was stuck. I didn’t have the intention to say those words. I also didn’t know I was going to do that. What was happening to me? “I have a lecture today. You want meet me and we could possibly go somewhere?” My eyes lit up with much joy and glee. I couldn’t believe my consciousness was acting like this. It’s not me at all.

“Mm sure! What time does it end?” The smile never felt my face. It was plastered there I knew it wouldn’t come off. My mind began picturing Jeno, with us going out to the city at night. Is that what I was envisioning? Even my heart was beating at a rapid speed when I didn’t want it to. It’s like all my actions were being controlled by something. It had my body react in a way that I couldn’t possibly tell at the moment. What’s scaring me the most was that I couldn’t do anything to stop it. And I could only let my consciousness take over the moment I sprang up at the mention that Jeno’s lecture would end at four in the evening. “Alright I’ll see you then. Love you!” I chuckled softly and ended the call, throwing my phone on the couch and running to my room to get dressed.

But ‘Love you’? Why would I say that? I was so confused as to what’s going on. My migraine disappeared too the moment this happened. I was getting ready, frantically picking out an outfit. At least my conscious knew what kind of clothes I would wear. Once I was done I turned to my full length mirror. I took a step forward to get a good look at my face, and when I stared into my eyes, there was a brief moment of darkness. I was still looking at my figure. I blinked my eyes. I did that. I glanced down to my fingers and moved them. I did that too. I slapped both my hands to my cheeks and I felt the sting that came from the impact. I’m suddenly back to my usual self.

I sucked in a breath and took a step back, looking up and down my whole outfit. Not going to lie, I did look good. I would’ve admired myself if I wasn’t so taken aback by the mysterious occurrence I just went through. I could hear my phone ringing suddenly from the living room. I walked slow, peeking my head forward and seeing it was Jeno who’s calling. I picked up, wanting him to say something first. “Hey, you ready? I’m already going out.” Jeno said, a happy tone shined through his words. I gulped and laughed softly, wanting to cover my awkwardness. “Y-Yeah I’m coming.” That stutter was not meant to be let out. Jeno hummed and ended the call. I grabbed my necessities and shoved them into the bag that matched my outfit and walked out the door.

As I went down the hallway and out of my dorm building, I kept shaking my head, trying to map everything out. What I just went through was certainly not normal. It’s like I was out of my body, yet trapped by the decisions made by whatever is doing this to me. I had my eyes on the floor for so long as if the answer would just magically appear, but of course to no avail, and I was left in the darkness to the actual thing that happened. My mind was all over the place, jumping here and there, making conclusions that I knew right off the bat was not possible. Or at least, scientifically possible.

I was way too deep in my thoughts that I bumped into someone. Hard. So hard that I stumbled back. And just when I thought I was going to fall, I was saved by a hand wrapping around my waist. With a firm and strong grip, it pulled me to stand back on my feet. But the hand stayed there. I slowly trailed my eyes up from where I was looking. A loose white button up that was ever so slightly see through and at the short gap between us, I could see just a hint of his abs shining through. It wasn’t buttoned up all the way, one or two unbuttoned. I was met with his collarbone and jawline, sharp and precise like it could cut steel. And finally his face. It was Jeno. His bright puppy smile blinding my vision.

“You seem to have your mind caught up in something.” Jeno said in a hushed tone, lifting his free hand and placing both his hands on my hips. His hold softened itself and his fingers hovered over my skin. I leaned back, biting my lower lip. I didn’t know how to respond. My heart thumping so hard it could possibly rip through my ribcage. I feel my cheeks heating up and I’m pretty sure they were now painted with a light shade of pink. I gaped my mouth open, fascinated at just how perfect Jeno looked. That I was even able to see him this close. His touch and deep eyes had my mind go blank and he had to lean in closer to check if I was okay. That wasn’t making it any better.

“You good, love? You’re blushing again.” Jeno chuckled, his low raspy voice that I never knew he could have till now send a cold shiver down my spine. I didn’t know what was happening. But if I wanted to get to the bottom of this, it looks like I’ll have to act. “Am I?” I pressed my palms to my cheeks, it was certainly burning hot. His hand slide up my curved, never lifting his hand off my body and trailed it to my hand. With the most lightest touch ever, he leaned down to kiss my knuckles. I blinked my eyes rapidly. I couldn’t keep a natural face. This was all an overwhelming amount of attractiveness at one go. I felt like collapsing right then and there.

“You look pretty.” Jeno finally steps back, finally giving me space for me to breath and let my lungs begin to function again as he eyed me up and down. He giggled and nodded his head. “You really do.” He reinforced, his hand now touching mine to interlock our fingers together. “You look good too.” Jeno seemed to make it possible for someone to look stunning just by wearing a mere button up and black jeans. Adding on was his blinding blonde hair that never failed to bring the look together. “Where are we going though?” I let out the question I’ve had on my mind this whole time.

Jeno began walking and it took me awhile to walk as well as I felt the tug of his hand, urging me to follow. “I’m offering to spend the whole day with you doing whatever we like. It’s our first time out, so I wanted to do what you like.” Jeno said with a carefree sigh leaving his lips as he looked up to the sky with a soft smile. It’s like he was genuinely happy to be hanging out with me and that made my heart miss a beat. “But I don’t want to make it all about me.” I replied, wanting to sound as engaged as possible. But if I’m being honest, I really was interested in finding out what he liked to do. Jeno breathed out a chuckle and downshifted his head. “How about the arcade?” Jeno tilted his head with a cheeky smile and I really couldn’t say no.

There wasn’t a word that could describe the day I had with Jeno. Even if there was, I’d never be able to describe it. It felt... magical. I never experienced something like this in a long time. The feeling of warmth, care for every move I make, Jeno’s gentleness treating me like I was a fragile human. We did things like from going to the arcade, to ice cream shop hopping, window shopping. He never showed any sign of boredom throughout. We ate and we talked, somehow the conversation was able to flow with ease. My heart fluttered each time he looked at me, each time he smiled, each time he got close and sent fireworks bursting in me with just the lightest touch. Jeno’s... perfect.

The night I spent with Jeno really buried whatever happened in the afternoon deep, but it was still at thr back of my mind. I’d figure it out when I get back. But right now, all I wanted to focus on were the stars that look like white paint splattering on an ink black canvas, twinkling above while I huddled close to Jeno with our legs hanging over the edge of the rooftop. My body was already pressed up against his, but he urged me to get closer with a squeeze of his hand on my waist. “I like this.” I whispered softly. This could’ve been a dream. It all felt too unreal. But it’s a dream I’ll never want to wake up from. The cold breeze winded by and a ton of hair got on my face. Jeno giggled and used his free hand to swipe away the strands in bits.

Jeno’s eyes were admiring every inch of her face as he went. The look in her eyes was beautiful. He longed to stay like this for hours. The love potion made this possible. And he somewhat felt glad he used it, despite having guilt anchored at the bottom of his heart.

“Can we make this an every week thing?” I whispered, thinking of the idea of wanting to escape, that he was my escape. I knew I’d have a great day well spent with him, and I’d like to have more days with him like these in the future. Jeno’s large hand held the back if my head and shifted me to rest my head on his chest while he placed his chin on the crown of my head. He hugged me, his hold just righr, his embrace subtle but perfect. “Anytime you need it, love.” His voice could send me floating up to the bright moon that had its light shining subtly on us.

But it was also this time that I began to wonder if it was my “possessed” self that needed to be on this date and not me. Then how was I suppose to feel? Would I have felt this feeling even if it wasn’t me in my skin? The questions slowly began to spiral as the silence of the night went on, but before it could give me a headache, “I think we should go. It’s late.” I muttered. A small cute frown appeared on his face but he slowly nodded his head. “Let’s go then.”

Later that night, Jeno spent hours having memories of their night running laps in his minds. He kept resonating it, and he never seemed to get bored of it. In fact, it made him more light and happier. Jeno was head over heels with this girl, and the didn’t mind falling this deep. Because he already knew that she was his. “So did the potion work?” Jeno flinched intensely as Jaemin’s voice entered the dorm and he sauntered towards him. Jeno grinned widely and furiously nodded his head. “I went out with her and it was so... magical a-and perfect.” Jeno gestured his hands around, outwardly trying to express himself.

“I’m glad.” Jaemin cracked a sincere smile, punching Jeno’s chest lightly with his first. “Just don’t forget to break the potion, okay?” Jeno smiled sheepishly to the floor and nodded, though Jaemin’s words didn’t fully submerge into his mind. All he could think about was the works of the love potion, and now it only made him fall for her a hundred folds.

I was on campus one day, just getting out of a lecture that really killed my braincells for the day. I was so worn out. That lecture somehow felt years longer than it should. And the boredom I got from it drained all the energy out of me. I was practically a lifeless walking corpse with my hunched over back and sliding footsteps. I didn’t have my eyes in front for the while I was walking, my eyes barely half opened. “_____.” On instinct I turned my head to the direction of the call. As if on cue, all life has suddenly come back into my body. And as my eyes met Jeno’s, I was taken over again. It’s like I wasn’t even tired in the first place. Against my will, I ran up to Jeno with the brightest smile ever.

“Hey baby.” I said, wrapping my arms around his torso while his unconsciously meets my waist. Reciprocating my smile, he said “Rare for us to meet on campus.” I freed one hand and teasingly placed it on his chest, playing with the fabric of his shirt. I didn’t like how whatever’s controlling me was making me so flirty and girly. I’m hating it. “Mm that’s true.” I replied, lowering my voice. “Are you free today?” I asked, a small frown appearing on my face. Jeno freed his hands from my waist and placed his index fingers on the corner of my mouth, rising my lips to turn my frown upside down. I giggled at the motion. “I’m actually going to the library to study. You can accompany me if you’d like.”

I eagerly nodded, releasing myself from Jeno and going to stand beside him with my hand lacing its fingers with his. I looked up at him with an overly bright smile. “Let’s go.” At the library, I was still in my subconscious. This spell thing or whatever is getting me to behave much more differently than I usually am. Does Jeno not see this? Does he not realise that I’m not me right now? Jeno had his eyes on his textbook. But he still kept giving me sidelong glances each second while I stared at him dreamily against my will. Just what was making me do all this?

“Why aren’t you studying, hm?” I felt a pull from my chest and I was instantly back to myself. To check if indeed I was, I began to pat my shoulders, arms and cheeks. Jeno chuckled softly in response. “Did you hear me, love?” Jeno leaned in close to my face with a whisper, and I leaned back slightly in shock, mouth agape and blinking eyes. Once I fully got to my senses, I shook my head vigorously. “I did.” I adjusted my upper body, straightening my back and pulling myself closer to the table. “I do that things to study.” I turned around to grab my book from my bag that was sitting on the chair next to me. And suddenly I felt a heavy weight on my chest, slowly arms snaking around my waist and I was instantly enveloped with warmth. I looked from my bag and tilted my head down, seeing Jeno resting his head on me with a firm grip on me. “You do that, and I’ll sleep on you.” Jeno smiled with his eyes closed. And honestly, that was the most adorable thing I’ve seen him do yet.

I raised a brow and shook my head, the chuckle leaving my lips. “Okay, okay.” I said, the small, almost invisible smile was still on me while I began to study. But it was hard to, with Jeno’s peaceful sleeping figure on me. Slowly and surely, as if my hand had a mind of its own, I placed my pen down and reached for Jeno’s hair. My fingers were hesitant for a moment, but they soon made contact with his hair. As expected, it was soft, silky and smooth. There was a light shine to his hair that the light reflected off. The bright blonde of his hair really got me to wonder how he kept his hair healthy after dying his hair such a colour. Jeno flinched at my action but relaxed himself in no time and got back to sleep.

Since I wasn’t able to concentrate studying, my mind trailed off from Jeno to my weird situation. I was going in and out of my conscious and it’s as if I was put under a spell of some sort to be someone I’m not. There’s obviously the possibility of some witchcraft being used on me since although the trend of making potions had died long ago, the existence of it still remains. And it shouldn’t be a surprise that there are people that still make it. But what potion was used on me? And when did I even eat it? If it’s making me act this lovey dovey towards Jeno then... was a love potion used on me? I gimaced at the thoughts. There’s no way someone like Jeno used a love potion on me. If I developed any feelings for him, it’s genuine and not forced and faked by a potion. Right?

“What’s wrong?” My lips formed an ‘O’ and I snapped my head down to Jeno who was looking at me with half opened and still sleepy eyes. I ran my hand through his soft hair again, combing through them in a slow pace. “If you’re this sleepy then you should sleep in your dorm and not here.” Jeno hummed and shook his head slowly, digging deeper into my chest and making me giggle from the tickled feeling I got from it. “I want to be with you.” Jeno’s voice was muffled against my shirt but it was clear as day through my eyes. And to hear Jeno say something like that had my heart feelings many different things at once.

For the next few days which lengthened itself into months, my relationship with Jeno slowly became from friends to lovers. Jeno was considerate with everything we did, asking if if was okay for us to kiss, or to take things to the next level. It’s as if he wouldn’t do anything without the decision being made by me. But in the process, I was still switching in and out. It came at random times, but those random times were while I hung out with Jeno. Whether it’d be seeing him on campus or hearing his voice through our calls, there was no telling when I’d switch and it frustrated me for so long now.

One day late at night I went to the library in hopes of fiinding a book that would explain whatever it is that was happening to me. And to my surprise, there was. It’s located in the History section of the library. I was surprised that such books on potion still existed and put on shelves for education. I doubt anyone touched this is years. The book had caught dust in the surface of the pages as well as any crevice and smallest nook it could get itself into. I slowly opened it up and tried my best to not get dust on my self as I brushed them away, reaching my hand out as far as possible to distance my face from the book. Once most of the dust was gone, I began to flip the page where it said “Love Potion” as the topic.

I began reading. And my eyes widened with each paragraph I read going down. The effects of the potion, it’s what I’m experiencing now. It said that it could be put into anything. So anything that I ate that day could’ve had the presence of the potion and I digested it into my body without me knowing. And the only way to break it was with a “Heartbreak Potion.” But it doesn’t say how to make it. Even if there was, it’d be impossible for me to find the ingredients for it. I balled fists into my hair as I silently groan in frustration. Great, I’m under a love spell that got me to like Jeno, the first person I looked at the moment the potion took effect. And then it hit me.

“Wait... If Jeno was the one that used the potion on me?” My body froze for a moment and my breathing stopped, lungs clenching but my mind continued to turn its gears. Why would he do that in the first place? As much as I wanted to think it wasn’t true, I had to ask him for the answer myself. And so the next day, I called Jeno, and prayed that the potion would not work on me while I asked him.

“Do you know about the love potion?” I asked Jeno. We were sitting on the bench on campus as the sun was setting. Streaks of pink and orange filled the sky with hints of purple. The weather wasn’t bad, too. It was cooling and just right. I hate how I had to make the air around us tense by asking this question. Jeno lifted his head up from my shoulder and rest his chin, looking up at me and shrugging. “Yeah, I guess. It used to be popular.” I gulped deeply and tightened my grip on my knees. “Have you ever tried it on someone before...?” Jeno slowly sat up right, he was looking at me, specifically right into my eyes as if searching for something in them. A long moment of silence went by, and it was a long moment of not being able to breathe in anticipation.

“So you knew.” I froze. My face remained expressionless. Knew? So I was right? He used the potion me. Jeno sighed and nodded his head in a defeating manner, sucking in his lips before saying “I could already tell something was wrong with the potion when your behaviour changed ever now and then.” He let out, scratching his eyes. I was still in a freezing moment, and it took awhile for the anger to settle in. And once it did when I came to my sense, my heart was burning and my eyes flared. With protuberant eyes I stood up from the bench, running my hand through my hair in anger and scoffing loudly. “Why the fuck would you do that to me? Why make me go against my will to love you?” I scowled.

Jeno jerked back at the sudden raise of my voice. He seemed like he didn’t have any words to fight back. He had his head hung low after taking one glance at me, and I knew he didn’t want to meet my eyes out of embarrassment and shame. “So were any of your feelings for me true?” I let out a sound to fireback but I quickly held it back the moment I registered the question. I balled my fist beside me, my eyes beginning to form its well of tears that my pride simply wouldn’t let them fall. “They were, Jeno. Were. But now I can’t tell.” My shuddering voice came out and my words were barely understandable. I turned around sharply to walk away, and instantly the first tear made its way down my cheek. I can’t believe I grew this weak for Jeno.

But after a second thought, I turned back. “You give me the potion to break this one by tomorrow night. That will be the last time I see you.” I wiped off my tear, straightened my back and walked off. Although it seemed like I went away with no regrets nor care for Jeno, my heart was feeling too heavy for my body to bear and the tears were streaming down with no care for the world. I like Jeno, and I still do. But to find out he used a potion on me for his own benefits, I wondered if I was being used. I wondered if I was simply something to fill his void of loneliness. If I was only loving towards him for the sake of it. I had to distance myself from Jeno to sort all this out.

— I’m better than this.

Jeno watched with despair as her figure grew smaller and more out of his reach and disappeared. He knew it would come to this. He knew this exact situation was inevitable the moment he saw the change in her. The falter of her behaviour, the flaws of the love potion. He was thinking about why he never bothered to tell her about the love potion, why he didn’t want to explain it to her in the first place. It wouldn’t be breaking his heart this badly if he told her sooner, right? But then again, with the type of person she was, he knew it would have an impact on him. He wanted to give her an explanation before she walked off, but Jeno’s body and mouth didn’t let him do it for some reason, like it was best for her to leave while he stood rooted to the ground out of his will. “I’ll ask Jisung for the potion breaker...” Jeno whispered to himself. And for the first time in a long time, he broke down in tears, it rushed down his face and he wasn’t sure if his body and heart could even hold up any longer that evening.

That night he asked Jisung to make him the potion breaker. They stayed up till three while Jeno watched him make it. The silence in the dorm kitchen was killing the soul out of Jisung and he hated how Jeno had been piercing his eyes into his back and scrutinising every move he made. Jisung turned around with an angered huff, his forehead creased as lines formed in between his eyebrows. “Can you quit staring at me like that?” Jeno honestly didn’t mean to be this infuriated towards Jisung, especially since Jisung was his favourite youngster amongst the group. He guessed he needed someone to blame for his own actions, to ignore his true feelings And in truth, Jisung was the one that made the love potion which ended up not working effectively. 

Jeno let out a sad sigh and covered his eyes with his palm for a moment before meeting his eyes back to Jisung. “I’m sorry. I just really hate myself right now.” Jeno said, his voice soft and almost weak in a sense. Jisung frowned at the hearing of Jeno’s voice. He knew he was hurting bad, and now he felt bad for lashing out at Jeno. “You’re better than what you did, Jeno.” Jisung whispered softly, turning his attention back to the making of his potion while having his back faced Jeno yet again. Jeno shifted his lips to one side, lifting his body up from the counter behind and walking up to stand beside Jisung with folded arms. “In all honestly...” Jisung began, he took in a deep breath, his chest rising up before exhaling sharply and shaking his head. “I didn’t want to make the love potion because I didn’t remember exactly how to make it in the first place.” Jisung gulped, loud enough for Jeno hear and infer that Jisung was afraid to tell him this, like Jeno would lash out. Instead, Jeno kept silent so Jisung continued. 

“But I felt bad for you. I saw the way you looked at her. I didn’t want you to lose the chance. I’m sorry, Jeno.” Jisung was finally mixing the potion with a glass rod, slowly with a solemn expression. Jeno lets out a breath and snaked his arms around Jisung’s shoulder pulling him closer and patting his chest with his free hand. “It’s fine. You did it out of kindness. I’m the one at fault here for even thinking of using it in the first place.” Jeno said, and his heart was sincere. Jisung hummed and gave him the breaking potion. “Once she drinks it, fix things with her, alright? Give this damn story a happy ending.” Jeno chuckled. “You say as if it’s a novel.” Jisung shurgged. “Kinda is.”

I couldn’t sleep a wink that night. All I thought about was Jeno. When in actuality I planned to forget about him while going home. Funny how I wasn’t able to do something I needed to do. But clearly it’s because I was still in love with Jeno. My mind flashbacked to the times I spent with him, times I wasn’t under the spell of a love potion. My smile, my laughter at his lame but amusing humour. They were real, with or without the potion. Would I look pathetic to went back to him even though he used a love potion on me? Would I look low? Those questions began my spiral down the deep dark hole of my thoughts, and they were travelling to the saddest and worst outcomes I could ever formulate. I really do hate how our minds work sometimes, how we overthink to the farthest end just from one thought. 

Out of pure frustration and inability to sleep, I threw on my hoodie and sweatpants, ready to head for the convenience store to buy cans of beer and drink my thoughts and feelings away. Just when I put my hoodie on the way to the door and placed my hand on the cold doorhandle, the bell rang and I flinced back from the sudden loud ringing. I tiredly let out a sigh and looked through the peephole. My mood didn’t know how to change. Was I relieved to see Jeno standing there nervously with the potion in hand, or angered that I now would not be able to not think of Jeno till I get my can of beer? I pulled down my hoodie more, obscuring my eyes in hopes that I wouldn’t look Jeno in the eye and have myself falling much deeper than I wanted to. I pushed the door handle open and puled the door, Jeno’s figure coming into view. I kept my head down and scratched my tired eyes. “I’m here to give you the potion.” Jeno muttered, hlding it out just slightly away from his body. “I see that.” I snatched it away from him. Just when I wanted to close the dor and end my interaction with him there, his voice made my heart break. 

“Is this really the last time you’ll talk to me?” Jeno’s voice cracked, and I wasn’t sure how the reply. I was feeling a lot of things at once and I hated how I still have yet to untangle the huge ball of it that blocked air into my lungs. “If you know me well enough, I’m a petty person and I’ll give them the silent treatment till I get better.” I slid the potion into the pocket of my hoodie and shoved my hands in there as well. I exhaled with a shrug. “In this case, I don’t know when I’ll feel better. Or I don’t know, trust you again.” I was valid to say that, I thought to myself. I had the right to say it. So why was I feeling something negative spurring in my chest as I let out those words?

“I-” Jeno’s sentence fell sort. He tilted his head up to face the ceiling as if tryign to formulate and answer to say. But in the end he could only drop his head back down and a defeated sigh left his lips. “I’ll wait for you.” Jeno said, as if unable to come up with any better answer in the tense cold air of the night. “Wait? There’s no point in waiting if you don’t earn back my trust.” I replied, and amused tone glinting my words. Jeno gave a sidelong glance before meeting my eyes. God were they soft, pitiful, gentle and loving. “I’ll wait till you get better and sort it out with you. Please just...” Jeno sighed. “I don’t want to let you go, okay?” As much as I hated going back on my own words ad thoughts of defence against Jeno, I bit my lower lip nodded my head. “We’ll see.” 

A long time had passed since I last saw Jeno, or actually talked to him. I did see him very briefly on campus, but I made sure to not serve him even one glance and continued walking though I felt his eyes on me the whole way till I turn a corner. With the bunch of workload I was suddenly given that month, and with the help of coffee, I was able to get myself back on track and focus on my work, slowly going back to who I was-- a hustler with no care for the world other than to get work done. Clearly, Jeno still lingered at the back of my mind, seconds before I want to shut my eyes to sleep. He never left, and I don’t think he ever will. I had nights staying up, just drawing mindless circles while my mind trailed to thinking about Jeno and how he was doing, how he was coping with my loss. Whether he was hurting. I didn’t rule out the possibility that he might not feel anything at all and was putting on a sad front for me. Who knows? I still have yet to trust his feelings for me were real when he used a damn love potion. 

Weeks turned into months and in no time the cold season came, with snow falling in small bits and bringing the freeze into play. One other thing I realised when December came was that my birthday was coming in just few days. One faithful morning I woke up to the doorbell ringing annoyingly loud and repetitively for a couple of cycles while I try to fully wake myself up and lazily walking up to the door. I swung it open and Jaehyun was there to greet me a happy good morning with a small cake in his hand. I laughed and and rubbed my eyes to clear my vision. “Red velvet cheesecake!” I screamed, snatching the cake away from him and running back into my dorm. I placed it on the coffee table and grabbed two spoons from the kichen while I heard Jaehyun walking in and closing the door behind him. Jaehyun sat down on the couch and I sat next to him, handing hi the spoon. 

“Not much. I’m not working so I hope this will do. Can I count this as a Christmas present as well?” Jaehyun said in a joking tone, but it seemed like it was agenuine question. I grinned widely and ruffled his hair. “I don’t need presents at this age for a good Christmas. I just need an outing with you and I’m good.” My smiled widely till my eyes formed thin lines and instantly dig into the cheesecake. I didn’t care to notice thid at first, but the flavours that instantly hit my tongue made me moan in satisfaction. “You got this from my favourite cake shop.” I said, dreamily humming. Jaehyun chuckled and nodded his head, scooping a bite for himself. “We always went there and pretended to be a couple to get free food samples please.” I laughed loudly, the memories of when we first began being friends came to mind. “Ah good times indeed.” 

Jaehyun hummed as if he wanted to say something, so I turned my head to look at him from the cake. “You need to get ready by the way. I’m taking you somewhere for another birthday surprise.” I widened my eyes in anticipation, a smirk forming on my lips while a sly smile formned on his. “Alright. Do i need to dress up to look my best?” Jaehyun shrugged with pursed lips after glancing to the side fo a moment. “Well, yeah. He’s like to see you in your prettiest state.” I raised an eyebrow in suspicion. “He? Who’s he?” Jaehyun raised in shoulders. “I don’t know.” He waved his hand carelessly, as if dismissing my words. “Now go get ready.” I hissed in annoyance but nodded my head excitedly and went to get ready. I wore the cutest outfit I had, proud of how good I looked when I stood in front of my full length mirror. I went out to the living room, seeing Jaehyun already gathering his things to go. He gave me no time as he was already walking on the door and I had to fastened my pace to meet him at his car outside the building. 

Not surprisingly enough, he had me wearing a blindfold in the car. I guess he wanted the location to be a surprise as well. Fear overwhelmed me when the car stopped and I heard Jaehyun leaving the car to open the door on my side for me. I held tight onto his arm and he gently placed his arm around my shoulders to try his best to lead me to the location without having my lose my step or tripping. Together, I took small wary steps and I was completely clueless as to where we were. It’s as if sight has blocked all my other sense from working and my sense of smell wasn’t working either as all I could smell was the freezing cold and nothing else.

Jaehyun places both his hands firmly on my shoulder and abruptly stopping me. I didn’t know where I was and all I could do was stay frozen at where I stood. Jaehyun slowly lets go of me and I heard his footsteps walking away. I turned around frantically, not even caring if I was facing the right direction. “Do I take the damn blindfold off?!” I shouted loudly, hopefully Jaehyun was able to hear. But there was no reply, instead, I almost fall when I tripped behind my foot at the sudden noise of a very familiar chuckle very close to me. I instantly felt the presence of the person right in front of me. He didn’t need to touch me for me to already feel his warmth. He was quick to wrap an arm around my waist expertly. I wasn’t able to move an inch I was that stunned.

— We're better than this.

I felt the fingers of his free hand touch the blindfold, trailing them to the back of my head to pull the tie and release my eyes from the darkness. It took awhile for my eyes to adjust, but once they did, the first thing I saw were Jeno’s eyes. “You’re still as clumsy as I remembered.” Jeno said in a lowered voice. I couldn’t believe he was standing here. For a moment I forgot that I’d be seeing him again. That we’d eventually forget what we had and move on with our lives. I was enveloped into his warmth with my body pressed up against mine. He slid the blindfold into his pocket and placed his palm on my cheek. They were greeted with warmth instantly as well and I forgot the feeling of the cold biting at my skin.

“And you’re still as pretty as the moment I laid my eyes on you when you walked into that café.” Jeno continued. My mouth was frozen and my tongue could not move. Words that I wanted to say remained in my throat as I have yet to fully process his presence right here. “You’re here, on my birthday?” Jeno smiled softly, ever so soft and small. With a downshift of his head he answered, “You told me you’d wish to spend your birthday with me since you only ever had Jaehyun.” I remembered my words very clearly. I didn’t know he’d even take that into account since I myself didn’t exactly found that as an important information at the time.

“If you haven’t noticed, we’re at our place too.” I adverted my attention to my surroundings. Indeed it was. It was my most favourite place that I visited with Jeno. I’ve never seen the park during winter, and it made my heart burst with a longing feeling as I saw just how beautiful the park had become when it welcomed the snow. “Well um I just wanted to say.” Jeno began, and I turned to look at him. I searched his gaze. They never changed. They looked the same the last time I got up close to him. Nothing about him had changed, I now realised. He was still Jeno.

“My birthday present for you is that I’m about to say the three magic words that I have never said in too long of a time because I never believed love was real. And although I still did that last time, it made me realise that these words are worth for someone who decided to stay with me even though they suspected and knew I used it on them.” Jeno brought his face closer, his warm breath breathing against my skin, particularly my lips. He glanced down at it before staring right into my eyes, as if I was the only person in his vision and everything else around us disappeared. I was the only important thing at that moment, and he was as well. His lips brushed him and he whispered, “I love you.” And we shared a kiss.

It was overwhelming, but in the greatest way possible. His lips were soft and slick even in the freezing cold. I wanted the moment to last longer but he pulled away and quickly said, “Was it okay for me to kiss you?” Jeno had a worrying tone. He was still as cautious as ever. I nodded my head. “I missed you. But you have a lot to make up for.” I replied, pulling him closer by gripping his shirt with both my hands. Jeno gave his puppy smile and nodded. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” And I knew for a fact that he’d never break any promises.

[nanatsumu]

jjk men as (kinda not really) sensual songs in my playlist

(okay originally this was just supposed to match a character with a song, but this turned into more of a “songs as jjk men in toxic relationships”)

i was gonna include naoya and toji in this but sukuna’s part of this drabble ended up being a lotttt longer than i intended it to be so i’ll probably do theirs some other time !! and sukuna’s might not add up correctly or make sense but i wanted to put this out since i was really invested in the whole plot and who knows, maybe i’ll turn it into a oneshot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and just so you know everyone has their own interpretations of these songs so whatever i perceive might not be similar to the way you perceive it :)

GOJO SATORU AS:

OH BOY DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THIS MAN. okay so after browsing around and researching, i couldn’t find a blog that explains the official meaning behind this song, but after analyzing the english lyrics i can only come up with ONE conclusion: this song is about a couple and the girlfriend begins to pick up on the signs that her boyfriend is cheating on her. but here’s the catch!! even though she confirms that her suspicions of him cheating are indeed true, instead of confronting him about it and getting closure, she resorts to trying to win him over one more time by wearing her sexiest miniskirt, ‘risky black high heels,’ and black stockings in order to catch his attention. but her attempts are in vain because nothing seems to change which explains the line near the end of the song: “even your eyes that look at me, why is it so cold?” and i think it just basically means that even after she dresses up all nice to catch his attention, he still treats her coldy and they probably end up in a toxic relationship even. WHICH BRINGS ME TO WHY I THINK THIS SONG FITS MR. GOJO >:( gege confirmed in an interview that they don’t see gojo being faithful to a particular woman, and you can either interpret this as gojo being a womanizer or gojo just not wanting to date at all due to his occupation as a jujutsu sorcerer, but for the sake of this analysis i will conclude that gojo is indeed a womanizer. i think the scenario that is the most befitting for this is:[ gojo and y/n being in a long term relationship but she starts to realize he’s been coming home later than usual with smeared lipstick stains on his face and the scent of a foreign perfume clinging onto his white button up. any normal person would immediately confront their significant other about that but c’mon, would any normal person really be dating gojo? he’s got you hooked and you can’t seem to leave him no matter how many times he breaks your heart. you fell in too deep and now you have to face the consequences, which is why you can’t seem to let go of the alluring blue eyed male. he pulled you in with that captivating smile of his and he’s not letting you go anytime soon. ]

RYOMEN SUKUNA AS:

now this one is interesting.... tbh i feel like there could be a lot of different songs that represent him well (even better than this one) but in terms of toxic relationships i think this would fit well with him. so essentially, every song can be interpreted differently depending on the person and how they perceive it, but in MY EYEBALLS i think this song is about two lovers who know that they are toxic for each other but keep running back to each other. they have a ‘collar’ on one another, with either person pulling the other person back whenever one strays too far away and this leads to my explanation on why i think this song would best fit with sukuna and his lover’s relationship. we all know that sukuna has an extremely domineering aura, so i feel like he would need a lover equally as domineering or has a feisty personality. their relationship would start off as something like a friends with benefits arrangement after meeting in a club one night— and what was supposed to be a one night stand ended up turning into a whole fling. sukuna wants to see how long it takes before you break and you know this game all too well so it turns into a push and pull type of thing between you two. and even though sukuna plans to throw you away after he’s done ruining you, no matter how many times he tries to convince himself that this was all just a game, there’s always this tingling feeling in his heart whenever he sees your genuine laughter while talking to some dude from your uni. your smile has never once met your eyes whenever you were with him and he’s pissed that a random guy gets to see it and not him. so he starts ghosting you for a while after realizing that he actually yearns for you in a romantic way and you’re kind of hurt after noticing his change in demeanor since you thought things between you guys were going well but you don’t dwell on it for too long since you know what you got yourself into after being involved with him for this long. he goes back to fucking around with other girls and you decide to go back to your usual mundane university life— however, it’s not long before he shows up at the front door of your apartment, drunk out of his mind. and so begins this whole cycle of him ghosting you, fucking some other girl, and then running back to you continues. the two of you aren’t sure why you keep punishing yourselves like this but the only thing you both know is that you’ve got a tight leash on each other and neither one of you are letting go any time soon. there’s also one verse in the song that i would like to throw in and that is: “i died a thousand times. i did what i had to do. hey, that’s just how it goes. i’m still coming back to you.” so we all know that y/n went into the relationship knowing that things were going to end one way or another so when sukuna ghosted her the first time she wasn’t too affected by it. however, that one night where sukuna came running back to her happened and it made her think that whatever relationship they had could blossom into something more, but this is not the case though because it was stated that sukuna continued the cycle of ghosting her (idk he’s scared of commitment?), fucking another girl (to convince himself that there was no way he could ever have genuine feelings for y/n), and then running back to her (and this usually only happens when he’s super duper drunk because drunk words are sober thoughts right? except in his case, drunk actions are sober actions because he wants to see her— but like i said, scared of commitment.) y/n is aware that sukuna is doing this yet she continues to hurt herself by throwing herself onto him every time he shows up at her place, hence the line ‘i died a thousand times’ (someone going through many painful and unpleasant experiences being in a relationship and even though they have to suffer being with the other person, they continues to run back to them nonetheless.)

so that’s why i think “she’s my collar” represents this toxic relationship well because even though sukuna is constantly running away from her, he always ends up back in her arms (y/n being sukuna’s collar) and whenever sukuna shows up at her apartment, she’s always ready to welcome him with open arms every time (sukuna being y/n’s collar.)

[wayward-dreamer]

Life’s Lessons - Going To California

AO3 Link: Read Here

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Female!Teacher!Reader

Word count: 6,964

Summary: When Sam and Eileen back out of going to California, Dean and Y/N take a trip to the golden state in their place. Dean reflects on his relationship with Y/N, making a decision on what his next step should be.

Warnings: Lots of fluff, Dean being sweet (yes, that’s a warning), Swearing, Smut, Dirty talk, Oral sex (Male and Female receiving), Unprotected sex (wrap it up before you tap it people), more fluff.

Music: Going to California by Led Zeppelin (Dean and Y/N starting their journey scene)

Life’s Lessons Spotify Playlist

A/N: Time stamp #3 is here! I’m so excited to share it with you all! There’s so much more to come for these two, but more on that at a later stage! ;) As always, happy reading and enjoy! :)

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Life’s Lessons Saga Masterlist

Dean walked through the house from the kitchen, twisting off the caps on two beers, the necks of the bottles resting between his fingers. He stepped out onto the back porch, walking over to his little brother, who was manning the grill while he was gone. He handed one over to him and then took over turning the burgers. It was a warm evening, the sun slowly setting and bathing the sky in a light purple hue. A soft breeze started, making it a perfect night to sit out and eat dinner.

It had been a while since the brothers saw each other, Sam having been busy with case after case, so when the weekend came and he had nothing work related to do, they made the plan for Sam and Eileen to come over for dinner to his house. Eileen had said she didn’t mind them coming over to her and Sam’s apartment, but Y/N had put her foot down, because no one was going to let the pregnant woman do anything at this point.

Tapping Sam on the shoulder, Dean gestured for him to move. Sam frowned, tapping his older brother back in defiance, not making a move to step away.

“Alright, scoot, let me show you how it’s done,” Dean muttered, as he pushed Sam away from the grill.

“Dude, I know what I’m doing,” Sam grumbled, as he moved to the side, his brother taking over, the flames of the grill fanning a little higher.

“No, you don’t,” Dean stated, chuckling when he saw Sam roll his eyes. He flipped the burgers over, one side browned to perfection already.

“How’s things?” Sam asked, smiling.

“Good,” Dean replied, moving away from the grill slightly, as the flames were too hot. “Amazing, actually.”

“That’s great, man,” Sam said, his smile growing.

Dean nodded, biting his lip as he wondered whether he should tell his little brother what he had been thinking about recently.

“Dean.” Sam got his older brother’s attention when he saw the look on his face. That one always meant there was something Dean wasn’t telling him. “What’s going on?”

“I, uh…” Dean smiled, unable to hide it anymore. “I think this is it.”

Sam frowned slightly as he didn’t completely understand. However, his eyes widened as things became clear very quickly. “Wait… you mean…?”

“Yeah, Sammy,” Dean muttered, smirking. “I wanna ask Y/N to marry me.”

“Oh my god.” Sam was in complete shock, but if it were even possible, the smile on his face became bigger. “Oh my god!”

“Shh,” Dean hissed, looking back into the house behind Sam. “She’ll fucking hear you, man.”

“Sorry,” Sam apologized, quietly. “This is great, Dean.”

Dean chuckled as he nodded. “I know. It’s insane, it’s only been 4 months that we’ve been together officially, but it just feels right.”

“So, when-when are you going to do it?” Sam asked, leaning back against the outdoor dining table as he looked at his brother.

“I don’t know, man. I’m just… I’m scared if I do it too soon and things go south, then it’s all screwed to hell. I just wanna enjoy our time together, we’re having so much fun… I don’t want to ruin that,” Dean explained, his shoulders tensed as his jaw clenched.

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think that’ll happen,” Sam reassured his older brother, offering him a soft smile.

“Thanks, Sammy.” Dean raised his hand and tapped Sam’s shoulder. “Let’s just keep it on the down low, for now. Okay?”

“Yeah. You bet.” Sam nodded and held his beer out. Dean smirked and clinked his bottle against Sam’s.

Y/N walked out onto the back porch, holding a tray with all the fixings for burgers on top of it. Eileen walked out behind her, a beer in one hand for Y/N, a glass of water in the other for herself. Putting everything down on the table, she helped Eileen sit down, pushing the table back slightly to give her more room with her round belly.

“How are you?” she signed, smiling.

Eileen frowned, shaking her head. “I feel like a whale,” she responded, signing but also speaking loud enough that Sam heard her.

“You are not.” Sam signed as he came over and kissed the top of her head, but she looked up at him and glared.

“Easy for you to say. I can’t see my feet,” she signed at him, shaking her head.

Sam tried to say something, but they were interrupted by Dean announcing that the burgers were ready.

He walked over to the table and put the platter down, moving behind Y/N as he passed her. Grabbing his hand, she stopped him and leaned up, pressing her lips to his in a sensual kiss. Dean’s arms came around her waist and pulled her in closer. He pulled away after a moment, smiling against her lips.

“Kiss me like that again some time. Okay?” he asked, smirking.

“Okay,” she laughed, pecking his cheek.

“Ugh, not while we’re eating,” Sam groaned, looking away from them.

“Shut up, Sam.” Dean tapped his little brother on the head, ducking away when Sam tried to get him back. He sat down next to Y/N, chuckling as he started assembling his burger.

They all started to eat, everyone complimenting Dean on the taste of the patties.

“So, there’s something I wanted to ask you guys.” Sam got Dean and Y/N’s attention after swallowing his bite, looking between both of them.

“Shoot,” Dean muttered around the morsel in his mouth.

“How do you both feel about a little getaway to California?” Sam asked.

“Aww Sammy, are you asking us to come on your little trip with Eileen?” Dean asked in return, teasing his little brother. Y/N chuckled lightly, nudging Dean’s arm to stop messing with him.

“No, I mean just the two of you,” Sam replied, rolling his eyes. He looked at Eileen and she laughed. “A friend from college owns a beach house there, but he and his wife are going to be in Europe for the summer.”

“Man, that’s the life,” Y/N sighed as Dean nodded to what she said.

“And we would go and keep an eye on things for two weeks before his sister comes to take care of the place, but Eileen feels like she can’t make the trip in the car,” Sam explained, looking at his wife before looking back at his brother.

“And I can’t fly now, so that sucks too,” Eileen signed, pouting. Y/N frowned and held her hand across the table, squeezing it.

“So, what do you guys say?” Sam asked, raising an eyebrow. “You want to go?”

Dean and Y/N looked at each other. A smile grew on her face, not even having to think it over. Dean smirked, biting his lip. He turned to Sam and gave him a simple nod. “Hell yeah, we’re in.”

“Great, I’ll let him know,” Sam informed, quickly taking out his phone and sending a text to his friend.

They all continued eating, talking and laughing as the sun completely set, enjoying the summer breeze that blew around them. As Sam and Eileen left and Dean and Y/N got ready for bed, neither of them could keep the smiles off their faces. A little two-week getaway to California was exactly what they needed, and Y/N couldn’t wait to spend some uninterrupted, quality time with her boyfriend.

“So, you’re really not going to tell me why we’re driving instead of flying to California?”

Y/N dumped her bags in the trunk of the Impala, standing in front of Dean as he closed it and she waited for him to say something to her question. It was the same one that had come up a few days ago, while Dean and Y/N were at John and Mary’s for dinner. After she asked why they weren’t flying, his parents both laughed quietly to themselves and John added a “I’m sure Dean will tell you eventually” and left her to figure out the rest.

Dean got into the driver’s seat as Y/N got into the passenger’s side and turned to him, eying him suspiciously. He looked through his box of cassette tapes, ignoring her as she looked at him. She narrowed her eyes as a thought came to her, and the realisation quickly dawned on her as her eyes widened.

“Dean Winchester… are you scared of flying?” she asked, an amused smile gracing her face.

“No.” He was lying, and he knew he had no reason to; it’s not like she would make fun of him for it, but it was a little embarrassing for him.

“Dean.” She got his attention, smiling at him when he looked at her, clearly annoyed that she had figured it out. “It’s okay. It’s not a big deal.”

“Exactly, so let’s forget about it,” he mumbled, choosing a tape and shoving the box back under the seat.

“You know that it’s the fastest and safest form travel, though, right?” she asked. She wanted to make him see there was nothing to fear. “And I would be right next you, talking you through the whole thing if you got scared.”

“Yeah, you’re not getting me in one of those flying death traps, sweetheart,” he declared, shoving the tape into the player.

She laughed, shaking her head. “Fine. You win. For now.”

The tape began to play, causing her to sigh as she heard the first few notes of “Going to California” by Led Zeppelin play out.

“A little on the nose, huh?” he asked, chuckling.

“A little, but it’s good,” she replied, leaning over and kissing him, softly.

“Alright,” he said, turning the key in the ignition of the Impala, grinning as it came to life. He turned to her, the smile not leaving his face. “You ready?”

“Absolutely,” she said, smiling wide.

Dean backed out of the driveway and took one last glance at the house, speeding off down the street, more than ready to spend two weeks in sunny California.

They drove for 11 hours, taking turns in driving after they would take a break at a rest stop. Y/N was glad he trusted her enough to drive his beloved Baby, after she had reassured him that she had driven an older car before and would be able to handle it. Luckily, it didn’t take too long for him to agree. However, when neither of them could afford to keep their eyes open any longer, Dean pulled into a motel somewhere outside of Albuquerque, New Mexico. Their heads hit the pillows of the uncomfortable bed and they fell asleep instantly, not caring what the mattress felt like because of how exhausted they were.

The next morning, they woke up early and got ready, had breakfast at a small diner across the street from the motel and were back on the road after they had eaten. Once again taking turns, they made it to Malibu in 10 hours, with Dean not really taking speed limits into account, citing he wanted to get there sooner. Y/N was annoyed but she couldn’t be too mad at him, knowing she couldn’t wait to get there either. By the time Dean did his poor rendition of Free Fallin’, it was around 6pm when they got there, stopping at a grocery store and picking up things they would need, before driving to the house.

As Dean drove down the streets lined with fancy beach houses, both he and Y/N started to feel a little awkward as they passed each one, knowing this wasn’t something they were used to. Looking down at her phone, Y/N confirmed the address and Dean pulled into the driveway, turning the car off. They both stared up at the white, two-storey house with large windows, a freshly mowed lawn and long path leading up to the front steps.

“Is it too late to go back?” he asked, turning to her.

She shook her head, moving across the seat and leaning into him. “We’re not going anywhere, but inside that house and just having a great two weeks to ourselves.”

“Damn straight,” he nodded with a small smile, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

He got out of the Impala and went over to the trunk, taking out the bags and closing it as Y/N walked ahead of him.

She keyed in the number on the lockbox that was given to them by Sam after he spoke to his friend, and took out the key to the large double doors of the house. She unlocked the door and swung them open, gasping as she walked in. The house was big but modest, which was a pleasant surprise as she walked through. Everything was open concept, the kitchen and living area leading out to the outdoor area, which had an amazing view of the ocean. Dean came in and dropped the bags near the staircase, immediately standing next to her as they looked out at the Pacific coast.

“I was right,” she muttered, quietly as the ocean breeze blew her hair back softly. “This must be the life.”

“Damn,” Dean whispered as he looked out at the sparkling blue ocean. A life like this wouldn’t be so bad he thought to himself as he walked out onto the balcony.

There were a few wicker armchairs, a coffee table and benches outside, along with a wooden dining set and on the far side of the outdoor area was a fire pit, with a few chairs around it. He sighed happily, smirking when he felt Y/N’s arms wrap around his waist, her lips pressing a soft kiss to the nape of his neck.

“Should we unpack?” she asked, softly as her lips brushed the skin of his neck.

“Yeah,” he replied, turning around and taking her hand in his as they walked into the house.

They both couldn’t wait to kick off their little trip in the golden state.

Y/N sighed contently, feeling the warmth of the sun against her face as it hit the shade above her. She crossed her bare legs that were out of the shade, extended on the beach chair and getting a great tan going. Pulling down her sunglasses with her finger, she smiled as she spotted her boyfriend coming out of the water, her own personal James Bond walking towards her, as he shook off the seawater from his hair. Beads of water dripped down his muscles, glistening as the sun shined down on him. She bit her lip as she thought about everything that she couldn’t wait to do with him when they got back to the house. He smirked at her as he got to the lounge chair, picking up his towel and wiping himself down.

They had been in California for a few days and were having an incredible time. They had spent their days exploring Malibu and the surrounding areas, driving around in the Impala and stopping whenever they would see a look-out spot, taking a selfie everywhere they went. They had made dinner and just relaxed for a few nights at the house, but later that night they were going out for dinner to a restaurant they saw while they were driving around and really wanted to go to.

Y/N continued to watch Dean as he sat down on the beach chair next to hers, the shade covering his face as he leaned back. He turned his head and smirked at her, giving her a wink.

“You’re so obvious, you know that right?” he teased, knowing she had been checking him out.

“Shut up,” she mumbled, pushing her glasses up.

He chuckled, looking out at the gorgeous view in front of him.

“Water’s great, not too cold right now,” he told her, his eyes closing as he felt the sun over the shade warming his face.

“Might have to get in later,” she said, smiling but was more than happy to stay there and enjoy the view in front of her.

��Or… now,” Dean suggested, standing up from the beach chair and holding his hand out to her. His eyes roamed over her red with white polka dots high waist bikini, his lip tucking in between his teeth as he gazed at her.

“But I’m so comfortable,” she protested, wriggling in against the chair. “And you were just in the water.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. He leaned down and took her hand in his, tugging on it. “Come on, sweetheart. You’re coming in with me.”

She looked up at him with a frown but gazed out at the ocean, the waves mesmerizing as they came up and receded back.

“Alright,” she agreed, a smile playing at her lips. She got up and took off her wide-brim beach hat, dropping it on the chair along with her sunglasses. Her hand slipped back into his, as they walked out towards the water.

Dean and Y/N moved through the waves and under once they got to waist height. They swam and splashed around, laughing and enjoying their time in the water. They stayed for a while, before they knew they had to get out and back to the house. They swam to the shore, walking out onto the sand and wiping themselves down before packing up the chairs and their belongings. They walked from the public beach to the private one the property was situated on, leaving the chairs and soiled flip-flops in the lower mud room before they walked up the stairs to the house.

They took turns having a shower, as Y/N refused Dean’s offer of showering together to avoid the obvious distraction that he always posed whenever they did. After she had freshened up, Y/N took a little time to get ready, wanting things to be perfect. There wasn’t anything different about tonight, but she still wanted to make it special for the two of them. This was their first little trip together and it had been wonderful so far, so she couldn’t wait to continue to have an amazing time with Dean for the rest of their days there.

She kept her make-up light and her hair open, sweeping it over her shoulder. She wore a red A-line dress with small, white floral pattern and a sweetheart neckline with off-shoulder straps. She put on her strappy nude heels, picked up her purse and walked out of the bedroom, her heels loud against the wood planks of the staircase.

Dean was dressed in a navy-blue half-sleeve, button-up shirt, blue jeans and his boots and sitting in the living area, waiting on Y/N. He looked up when he heard her shoes against the wooden floors, smiling when he saw her. He got up from the armchair and met her halfway, stopping in front of her to cup her face in his hands. He leaned in, kissing her softly before he pulled away, grinning at her.

“You look amazing,” he told her, his smile beaming.

She felt her cheeks heat up as she leaned against him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “You clean up pretty well, too, handsome.”

“Ready?” he asked, moving back and instantly taking her hand in his.

“Ready,” she confirmed, smiling.

They left the house and locked up, Dean walking to the car and opening the door for Y/N. She pecked his lips before getting in, watching as he closed her door and then walked over to the driver’s side. He got in and smiled at her, immediately starting the car and backing out of the driveway, heading in the direction of the restaurant. Dean parked down the street once they arrived, taking Y/N’s hand as they walked down. Having made a reservation already, they were led to their table quickly, in the back outdoor area, sitting across from each other. There were fairy lights above them, wrapped around the beams and a candle at each table, bathing the area in a warm glow. Y/N beamed as she watched Dean taking everything in, a soft, peaceful smile on his face. She was so glad he was getting this break from work, knowing he deserved a little time off after working so hard.

The waitress came around and took their drink orders, coming back quickly with Dean’s beer and Y/N’s Negroni. She leaned forward on the table, taking Dean’s hand in hers and clasping it, tightly. There was a peaceful hum of patrons around them, but she didn’t see anything past the love of her life in front of her.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked, softly.

She nodded, looking down at their joined hands. “I am. I don’t think I’ve ever been more okay in my life.”

He grinned, unable to stop his heart from skipping a beat when he heard what she said. He felt exactly the same way.

“I guess Sammy didn’t have such a bad idea about us coming here, huh?” he asked, chuckling softly.

“Definitely not,” she replied, shaking her head as she sipped her cocktail. “I’m so glad we could do this.”

“Me too,” he agreed, bringing her hand to his lips and placing a soft kiss on her knuckles.

After their drinks, they ordered dinner. As they ate, Y/N looked around to see that a live band had started, smiling as they played a few familiar tunes, causing people at other tables to sing along. As the waitress cleared their plates, Dean looked over at Y/N and smiled, seeing her lost in the music as she swayed to it.

“Ready to go?” he asked. He smiled when she turned around and faced him, a content expression on her face. “Maybe we can take a walk along the pier?”

“Yeah,” she said, softly as she nodded. She picked up her purse and followed him out once they returned his card, linking her hand with his as they walked down to the pier.

The weather was perfect, a pleasant breeze dancing around them, the salty sea air mixing through it. They walked along the pier, hand in hand, in a slow and peaceful pace, the waves washing up onto the shore along with the music coming from the restaurant the only sounds that they could hear. Dean turned to face Y/N, as his hand moved around her hip and brought her close to him, taking her hand in his as her other one curved over his shoulder. They swayed back and forth slowly, basking in the serenity around them.

“Kinda wanted it to be just us when we did this,” he told her, looking down into her eyes.

“Good call,” she stated, leaning up and kissing him, softly. “This is much better.”

“Can I… Can I ask you something?” he wondered, clearing his throat nervously.

She nodded, smiling up at him. “Of course.”

“I know… I know we put getting married and having kids on the table real early, but…” he started, but took a deep breath as he gathered his thoughts to speak coherently. “You still want all those things, right?”

She was slightly taken aback, but a reassuring smile graced her face. “Dean… I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

He breathed out, relieved as he nodded. “I know that, I do. I just-”

Y/N leaned up, pushing herself up onto her tiptoes despite wearing heels, and kissed him, stopping whatever negative thought he was about to have. She kissed him sensually, putting everything she felt for him into it, before she pulled away and looked into his eyes.

“When it comes to what I want for us… there’s nothing for you to worry about, Dean,” she said, as she moved in closer, resting her head against his chest as they swayed to the music. “I love you and I know we’re going to spend our lives together, forever.”

“I love you,” he whispered, leaning his cheek against her head.

Y/N’s hand left his and moved up around his neck, the other sliding up from his shoulder to lock around him, as she pushed herself up and kissed him, a little harder than before. Dean’s hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her up as he held her close, her feet dangling above the ground. Suddenly desperate for each other, she tugged at the collar of shirt as their lips moved against each other’s, unable to pull away. She nipped at his bottom lip as her hands moved into his short hair, bringing him closer to her.

Dean pulled away, however, breathing heavily as he smirked at her. “Let’s get outta here.”

Dean put Y/N down, their hands immediately linking as they rushed down the pier, her heels loud against the wooden planks as they hurried back to the car. Dean drove at the required speed, getting annoyed as he wanted nothing more than to hightail it back to the house. It didn’t help that Y/N had slid over on the bench seat, kissing and nipping at his neck, distracting him.

“Sweetheart, you gotta stop or we won’t make it back,” he said, a choked laugh leaving his mouth as she sucked at his pulse point.

“Fine.” She sighed, annoyed that she had stop as she moved away from him, sliding back against the passenger side of the car. She had been more than ready for him all day, their day out at the beach only making her desire for him stronger.

They made it back to the house a few short moments later and hurried to the entrance. Y/N struggled to open the door as Dean wrapped his arms around her waist, his turn to pay attention to the soft skin of her neck with his lips. She turned the lock and it finally clicked, swinging the door open as they staggered in. Y/N turned to Dean and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. He kicked the door closed, both of them stumbling further into the house.

“Dean,” she moaned, her lips brushing against his. “I need you.”

“Fuck, I need you too, sweetheart,” he groaned, in between kisses. “Been teasing me all day, especially in that bikini…”

He picked her up, her legs automatically wrapping around his waist as he held her tight. She bit her lip as she looked into his eyes, moving in to kiss him again, their mouths rough and sensual against each other. She felt the bulge of his jeans against her, knowing he was hard already. He walked them towards the staircase, relying on instinct to get up to the bedroom, considering he couldn’t see anything past Y/N and her lips against his. He made it up to the room without tripping, setting her down as his hands moved to the zip on the side of her dress. She smiled up at him as she made quick work of unbuttoning his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders. She shimmied out of the dress once he pulled the zipper down, letting it fall and pool around her feet, leaving her in a pastel pink strapless bra and matching lace panties.

“So beautiful,” he whispered, as he leaned in and kissed her again, a little softer this time. However, knowing how much he wanted her after a day where the tension was building up constantly, he deepened the kiss.

Y/N walked backwards as she undid his belt and unzipped his jeans, blindly, the action second nature to her after having done it so many times. Dean placed his hands on her waist and pushed her onto the bed, only rough enough for a small moan to leave her as she looked up at him. He bent down and took off his boots, ridding himself of his jeans and boxers at the same time. His hard cock sprung free from the confines of his boxers, causing her to bite her lip at the sight. No matter how many times she had seen him naked, it still stunned her that she got to have him.

She sat up on the bed, moving to sit on the edge and closer to Dean. She looked up at him with that smile of hers he loved, that mischievous one that always let him know what kind of mood she was in and took hold of his cock. Dropping some of her saliva onto his shaft, her hand wrapped around and pumped up and down, slowly at first but started to build up. She leaned forward, her mouth sucking at the tip of cock, licking away the pre-cum. She sunk her mouth lower, taking him in inch by inch, until he hit the back of her throat. Dean groaned as she began to bob her head, his hands cupping her face as he looked down her. She looked up at him as she moved back and forth, her mouth gliding over his cock, her hand wrapped around the base in a light grip.

“Fuck, you’re too good at that, sweetheart,” he groaned out, his thumb stroking her hollowed cheek.

Pulling back, she licked at the tip of cock, her tongue circling it. She grinned as her hand stroked him and she leaned forward, kissing his hip bone. “You love seeing your cock in my mouth, don’t you?”

He growled as he cupped her face and leaned down, kissing her roughly. “Fuck yeah, love it so much,” he muttered against her lips.

“You taste so good, Dean,” she sighed, pecking his lips.

He hummed as he kissed her again, his hands moving to her shoulders as he lightly pushed her, her back hitting the bed. “So do you, gorgeous.”

Moving over her, he leaned down to kiss along her neck, leaving soft nips at her skin. He drifted down, his lips leaving a trail of kisses down her chest, nipping at her covered breasts, down her stomach and stopping at her covered mound. He kissed her inner thigh, his fingers rubbing over her panties, feeling how wet she already was.

“Did sucking my cock get you this wet, baby?” he asked, chuckling.

She looked down the length of her body, their eyes meeting as she nodded.

He grinned as his fingers slipped into the edge of her panties, pulling them down and over her legs, tossing them over his shoulder.

“So beautiful,” he whispered, as he leaned down and planted a soft kiss to her sex. A low moan left her mouth, her hands gripping the covers beneath her as her eyes fluttered closed in anticipation of what was about to happen. The things he could do with his mouth still amazed her.

With his tongue, he licked a long stripe from her entrance to her clit, lightly circling the nub. Pressing his mouth over it, his tongue continued to move around the bundle of nerves, causing a moan to fall from her lips.

“Fuck,” she sighed, as she looked down at him. She threw her head back when he drifted down, his tongue licking along the length of her folds before it moved down her entrance. He alternated between sucking at her clit and licking her folds, bringing his fingers to her wet canal and inserting them, thrusting them in and out in a slow rhythm, but picking up the pace as her moans became louder.

“You taste so fucking incredible, Y/N,” he groaned between his ministrations, looking up at her.

“Feels so good,” she moaned loudly, gripping his hair tightly in her hands, bringing him in closer. “Oh god, Dean… fuck, I-I love what you do to me.”

He grinned as his fingers moved steadily within her, ready to bring her to the edge. “Yeah? You love feeling my tongue on your clit, sweetheart?”

“Yeah,” she gasped, as her hands continued to comb through his short hair.

“You love my fingers inside you?” he asked, emphasising the question by moving them a little faster, the pads of his fingers rubbing along her walls. He felt her clench around them, signalling she was close.

“Fuck, yeah,” she moaned, breathlessly. “I fucking love them so much.”

He smiled against her sex, kissing her skin as he looked up at her. “You’re close, aren’t you, Y/N?”

“Yeah, so close.” She nodded, frantically, ready to let go. “Make me cum, Dean.”

“You wanna cum on tongue, don’t you?” He smirked, already knowing that’s what she would want.

“Yeah, wanna cum on your tongue,” she whimpered.

Dean leaned in, sucking the nub into his mouth, his fingers picking up the pace. He thrust in and out of her, feeling her grip around him as he moved them within her. He felt her getting wetter, knowing she was close. He moved his mouth down, her moans rising in volume as his fingers continued. The coil in her stomach tightened more and more, bringing her closer to her release.

“Dean, oh my god! Fuck!” she shrieked, as the coil snapped. She moaned through her release, wetting Dean’s fingers and his mouth, his tongue lapping up her juices and continuing to lazily thrust his fingers as she came down from her high.

When he was satisfied that he taken everything she gave him, Dean leaned up and hovered over her, leaning down to kiss Y/N. She moaned at the taste of herself on his tongue, wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing him closer. She pushed her body into him and turned, rolling him onto his back while he was distracted by her lips. Pulling away, she sat up and looked into his eyes. He smiled as he looked up at her, his hands sliding over the smooth skin of her legs.

She planted her hands on his chest, shifting back until she felt his cock against her heat. Reaching down with her right hand, she took a hold of his cock as she lifted herself up, lining it up to her entrance. She sighed, letting out a shaky breath as she sank down, his length completely sheathed by her walls. Dean groaned as he felt her heat around his cock, his hands moving up to her hips and holding onto her. She began to rock back and forth, her hips thrusting down as he brought his up to meet hers, in a slow and sensual pace. She ran her fingers along his chest, moaning softly.

“How do I feel, Dean?” she asked, as she looked down at him. She grinded her hips down, feeling his cock deep within her.

“Amazing,” he replied, as he smiled up at her. He let her control the rhythm, meeting her hips as he thrusted up into her.

She leaned down, bringing her face closer to his. “You love feeling me wrapped around your cock, don’t you?” she asked, her voice low and husky.

“Fucking love it, sweetheart,” he growled, gripping her hips tighter in his hands.

“Love feeling you inside me, Dean,” she whispered against his lips, kissing him softly. “Love feeling your big cock inside my tight, wet pussy.”

“Fuck, Y/N,” he groaned, looking into her eyes. Holding her close, he sat up, his chest pressing against her covered breasts. His hands moved up her back, unclasping her bra and pulling it away from her body. He leaned in, kissing the soft flesh of her breasts, leaving soft bites along her skin. Her hands combed into his hair, bringing him closer into her. She moaned as she felt him take her left nipple into his mouth, licking over the nub, stiff from the air in the room.

“I love you so much, Dean,” she whispered into his ear, her fingertips lightly scraping through his hair. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

Releasing her nipple with slight pop, he looked up into her eyes, as she continued rock her hips down on his.

“You don’t ever have to worry about how I feel,” she reassured him, reiterating what she told him at the pier. “I’m yours. Forever.”

She leaned down, kissing him passionately as she gripped the hair at the nape of his neck. His hands moved up her back as he pulled her in, not wanting to let go of her. He was completely floored by the love he saw in her eyes. He knew he shouldn’t be; he knew she loved him, but somehow it still shocked him that anyone could love him as much as she did. Yet again, he thought about grateful he was for her.

“I love you so fucking much, Y/N,” he whispered back, his breath brushing against her lips.

She moaned, feeling the pressure in her belly building up again, as she continued to meet his thrusts.

“Dean,” she moaned against his lips, looking into his eyes. Her hips picked up pace, chasing her release. “I’m so close.”

“Me too, sweetheart,” he muttered, as he held her tighter.

The familiar feeling rose in her stomach, telling her she was closer as their hips continued to smack into each other, their thrusts faster than before.

“Cum with me,” she whimpered, her eyes not looking away from his, not even for a second. “Dean, please… cum with me.”

“Oh fuck, Y/N,” he groaned. His hands flew down to her hips, gripping tight as he felt his cock pulse inside her, her walls clenching around him. “Fuck, let go for me, sweetheart. Fucking cum on my cock.”

For a second time that night, the band snapped, a string of moans erupting from her lips as she threw her head back, her hands tight in his hair. He grunted as he dropped his head onto her shoulder. He felt his cock throb, a strangled moan leaving his mouth as spurts of cum bathed her walls, mixing with her climax.

They breathed heavily as they came down from their high, feeling only the frantic heartbeats in their chests. As they started to come down, the rush of the waves on the beach reached their ears from the open door to the balcony. Dean lifted his head from Y/N’s shoulder, his hands coming up to cup her face, bringing her close to him. He kissed her, lovingly as he held her tight. He didn’t want to let go of her. Hearing her words as they made love made his heart soar. He had never felt that way before her. Y/N picked up on his quietness, pulling away to look into his eyes.

“You okay?” she asked, smiling softly.

Dean smiled in return, nodding slowly. “Never been better, gorgeous.”

Y/N squealed and laughed as Dean turned them over, throwing her down on the bed. They continued their passionate exchange into the early hours, finally falling asleep to the moon shining into the room and the soothing sounds of the ocean.

The next two weeks flew by, and before they knew it, it was time for Dean and Y/N to leave the beach house behind and return to their normal lives in Lawrence. Dean packed up the Impala, a small frown on his face as he did so. He didn’t want to leave, having had such an amazing time there with his girlfriend. They had so much fun together, swimming in the ocean during the day, walks on the beach at night, going out for dinner or cooking at the house, and absolutely ravishing each other after all of it. This trip had not only been relaxing, but a great eye-opener for him. He already knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Y/N but hearing it from her only solidified the decision he had already made.

He was going to ask Y/N to marry him.

It may have seemed too early in their relationship to think that way, but if he could’ve married her back at Christmas, one kiss into their relationship and all, he would’ve done it in a heartbeat. As he closed the trunk and leaned against the car to wait for Y/N, he started thinking about how to go about things. He knew he had to talk to his mom about her ring, hoping that it would be okay with her to give it to Y/N.

He lifted his head as he heard the front door to the house shut. He smiled as he saw Y/N walking down the path, her long, printed summer dress flowing in the breeze as she came towards him. She smiled softly as she got closer to him, an eyebrow lifted as she saw his expression.

“What?” she asked, laughing slightly.

He shook his head, not wanting her to clue into anything he was thinking just yet. “Nothing. Just… thank you.”

“For what?” She stood in front of him, placing her hands on his shoulders as she looked at him.

“For coming with me on this trip, for dealing with me… for just being amazing,” he told her, placing his hands on her hips.

“You’re pretty easy to deal with, Dean Winchester,” she said, softly as she leaned up, kissing him.

“You say that now,” he said, chuckling.

“I’ll say it always,” she countered, kissing him again quickly, before she moved away to the passenger side of the car.

As they pulled away from the house and made their way onto the highway, Dean smirked as he looked out at the road ahead of him. He glanced at Y/N, smiling as he saw her texting, no doubt telling Sam they had left and would be back home in a day. As he drove, he couldn’t help but think about everything that had changed in his life, and how much more it would continue to do so. He couldn’t help but think about how happy he was, how much more confident he was in himself, and how much better his life had become.

For all of that and so much more, he knew he had the beautiful woman sitting beside him to thank.

-x-

If you’re crossed out, I can’t tag you :(

Tags: @deanwanddamons @winchest09 @downanddirtydean @jensengirl83 @wonder-cole @that-one-gay-girl @flamencodiva @ellewritesfix05 @roonyxx @akshi8278 @hobby27 @michellethetvaddict @spngirl05 @kyjey @halesandy @440mxs-wife @stoneyggirl @deanswaywardgirl @redbarn1995 @marianita195 @babypink224221 @deans-baby-momma @parinarain @thoughts-and-funnies @mandalou29 @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @superaveng @supernatural-love14 @vicmc624 @prettyboyswow @lunarmoon8 @supernatural-bellawinchester​

[atlafan]

Office Neighbors - Part Eleven

a/n: another part where a lot happens, I think you all will be happy the little surprise at the end, enjoy! (reblogs and feedback are super helpful!) not proofread, sorry!

warnings: slight angst?, fluff, and smut

words: 13.8K

masterpost

Another school year down, you couldn’t believe it. Two entire years done, and only more until it’s your turn to walk across the stage. Now that it was getting nicer out, your new favorite to work was the back deck, especially when Harry would come out and bring you a glass of wine. It wasn’t lost on you how much he doted on you. If you got cold, he was right there with a blanket and your fuzzy socks, if you were hungry he was right there with a snack. There was plenty you did for him, or that you did equally, like laundry and cooking and cleaning, but it was hard not to notice the way her almost…babies you.

Now, most of the time, men were the ones that liked to be babied in relationships, and that’s not to say that Harry doesn’t. He loves when he gets to lay his head on your chest and you play with his hair, or when you scrub his head in the shower, or the mornings you get up before him and lay his clothes out for him. You both took care of each other in different ways, which was nice, but he was used to taking care of someone in a parental way.

Harry was extremely different at work, though. He didn’t want to give students or colleagues a reason to tease either of you, so despite his clingy nature, he wouldn’t be too kissy or huggy with you. He was thankful that the school year was over so he could love on you all he wanted.

He had his own work as well, he had his latest manuscript. He would try to work when you were working, but sometimes he got writer’s block, or inspiration would hit at an odd hour. You loved watching him work, and if it was the middle of the night with him working away, you’d crawl into his lap and tell him it was time for bed. To which he happily listened.

It was weird being home while Andy was still in school, but it left you with plenty of time to plan his party. This year his party would be at your house since it was at Paige’s last year. You wanted to make sure there were tons of yard games for all the kids to play, and also things for the adults to do. You and Andy started crafting a playlist together that Harry was not allowed to help with because “no one my age wants to listen to Fleetwood, get over it!” was an argument you were sick of listening to, plus it was nice to have something to do together.

“Okay, we’ve got horseshoes, badminton, water balloons, and corn-hole, that should plenty of things for people to do back here.” You say as you look around the yard. Andy and Harry were just getting the badminton net into place.

“We also have a volleyball in case they wanna play that instead.” Harry says. “And we’ve got all the snacks in the world to keep everyone happy until I get to grilling.”

“So is this less of a family party?” You ask him.

“Little bit, I mean, Lydia, Allie and Ned will be here, but that’s it for Paige’s side. There’s more friends coming this year, that’s for sure.”

“I’m getting the Bluetooth going so there’s music when people start to show up.” Andy says. “I’m really excited, Caroline’s sisters are coming, and they’re really nice.”

“Is her oldest still coming to the university in the fall?” You ask.

“Yup.” He smiles.

Andy and Caroline had remained…close oddly enough. Brandon was still with Molly, and Andy couldn’t quite figure out why. Although, it was giving him more time to sort out all of his feelings. He really didn’t want to be in a relationship just yet. He just wanted to have fun with his friends.  

“I hope they’re not bored here.” Harry runs a hand through his hair.

“The corn-hole should keep them occupied, babe, don’t worry.”

“What are their names again?” Harry asks.

“Emma is the oldest, then Sophie and Charlotte.”

“Right, the twins.”

“I’m gonna go put the sign on the door to let people know they can just come to the back.” You say.

“I’ll tie the balloons to the mailbox!” Andy says and Harry sighs as he watches him go inside.

“What’s wrong?” You ask Harry as you walk up the stairs to the deck.

“Nothing…he’s just…twelve.” He pouts at you and you pout back.

“Please don’t cry.”

“I’m not.” He huffs. “He’s getting too old, I’m over this whole growing up thing.”

“But look at what a nice young man he’s growing into!” You put your hand on his shoulder. “Try to celebrate instead of dwell.”

“What are we, at a funeral?” He smirks.

You roll your eyes at him and go inside. The house was spick and span, thank god. This summer you’d be tackling renovating the kitchen since Andy would be at Paige’s. You were excited to do this with Harry. The new cabinets and granite were all ordered. You both just needed to do all the demo yourselves and then the contractors could come to do the rest.

“Mum and Noah are here!” Andy yells from outside, and you and Harry go out front to greet them.

“I…I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, but look at you, you’re twelve!” Paige blubbers and throws her arms around Andy.

“Mum, please.” He groans as he hugs her back.

“None of your friends are here yet, I get to do this now.” She kisses his cheek and lets him go. “Gram will be here soon with your aunt and uncle.”

“Happy birthday, Andy!” Rachel says brightly as she hops out of the car, giving him a hug.

All it took was for Paige and Harry to make eye contact and they both burst into tears. They side hug each other as they both look at Andy.

“He’s so grown up, and I swear he’s getting taller by the minute.” She says.

“It’s not fair, he was a baby just yesterday.”

“You two need to get a grip.” Andy says.

“Yeah.” Rachel agrees. “I’m getting second-hand embarrassment.”

The two giggle and start walking around back. You and Noah stand there awkwardly as Paige and Harry let each other go.

“Right, well, we, uh, brought some extra snacks, and all the gifts are in the trunk.” Noah says.

“I can help bring all that in.” You say. “What do you all typically do for Rachel’s birthdays?” You ask him as you lead him inside.

“Well, we usually go to Florida to visit with her grandparents. She loves it. Sort of a daddy-daughter thing.”

“Oh, that’s so nice!”

“Yeah, her birthday’s in October, so the weather is usually perfect.”

Friends and other family members start to show up. Andy was such a social butterfly. You could really tell that he was popular amongst his friend group. He was making everyone laugh. All of the yard games were a big hit, and Caroline’s older sisters even seemed to be having a good time. You were up on the deck sipping a drink when Harry came up from behind you to hug you.

“Having a good time, darling?” He says to you.

“Yes, thank you.” You chuckle. “Are you?”

“Mhm, I’m really glad the weather stayed so nice, I was nervous it would rain.” He kisses your cheek. “I’m gonna get the grill fired up.”

“Alright, do you want some help?”

“Maybe if you could just help me organize the food out here on the table? We could set it up buffet style.”

“On it.” You head inside as Harry turns the grill on.

Harry was feeling a lot of things today, his son was officially a preteen, and all sorts of things could start changing for him this summer. He could start to see pimples, or his voice may start getting lower, or pretty much anything else. Then there was you. Harry usually had to recruit another parent to help him with his parties for Andy, but he didn’t have to do that this time because he had you. You were on top of everything, and he was grateful. He was also just proud to show you off to so many people. For years everyone saw him as this single dad, but now they got to see him in a fully functioning relationship with a wonderful person.

“Okay, here’s all the burgers and dogs.”

“Y/N!” You whip your head and see your parents, Phil, and Julian.

“Oh good!” You say and head down the stairs of the deck to go greet them. “Did you get stuck in traffic?” You ask as you hug your family.

“Just a tad.” Phil says. “There was an accident on the other side, and you know how people love to rubber-neck.”

“Well, you’re here now, that’s all that matters. Feel free to go inside and freshen up, Harry’s just getting the grill started, but there are other snacks, and there’s drinks in the coolers.”

As you were talking Noah and Paige were playing a game of corn-hole with Ned and Allie.

“Oh, who’s that?” Noah points over to you.

“That must be her parents and brother, and his partner. How nice for them all to come!”

“Just don’t pounce on them Paige.” Allie tells her.

“What are you talking about? I’ll be friendly…”

“I’m not saying you won’t, just let her bring them over to introduce you, don’t go over to them first.”

You lead your family inside, after they all say hello to Harry. You wanted to give them a tour of the place you now called home. You explain your plans for the kitchen, and they all nod along.

“It’s a lovely home, honey.” Your mom says. “Very spacious, plenty of room to grow.”

“Yeah! The basement couch has a pull out in case we need to turn the guest room into a nursery at some point, and the loft could easily be converted into a bedroom too.”

“Slow down there, you just moved in.” You dad chuckles.

“I’m just saying, we’ve thought ahead.”

You lead everyone back outside, and down the stairs. Andy notices your family and smiles, he had no idea they were coming. He runs over to you.

“Andy, look who’s here.” You say to him.

“Hi!” He gives everyone a hug. “Thanks for coming to my party.”

“We wouldn’t miss it!” Your mom says. “You’re twelve today?”

“Yeah.” He smiles. “Would you like to meet my friends?”

“Sure.” Phil says.

Andy waves over Brandon and Caroline, and they both come jogging over.

“You guys, these are Y/N’s parents, um…”

“Rebecca and Richard.” Your dad says with a smile.

“Right, and this is her big brother Phil and his Julian.”

Phil and Julian smile at each other and say hello.

“These are my two best friends, Brandon and Caroline.”

Brandon felt bile in the back of his throat. Since when did Andy consider Caroline to be his other best friend?

“Hey, Andy, your friend Tyler…” Rachel had come over but she trails off.

“Rachel, these are my parents and my brothers.” You tell her.

“Hello!” She smiles brightly. “I’m Andy’s step-sister.”

“Well aren’t you just a precious little thing!” Your mom says.

“You’re Jewish like me, right?”

“Why yes we are.” Your dad says.

“When we went on our ski trip together, Y/N sat with me and helped with my alefbet.”

“She was pretty good at reading from the Torah as a kid.” Phil says. “I wasn’t so lucky.”

“You just never studied.” You tease him.

“Not all of us can be book worms, Y/N.” He sighs.

“My mum’s over there…” Andy points. “Do you all want to meet her?”

“That would be great.” Your dad says. You look back at Harry who was talking with Mr. Stewart as he grilled, and then you look over towards Paige.

“Yeah, let’s have everyone meet.” You say and lead them over. “Paige? I hate to interrupt the game…”

“Not at all!” She says with a smile. “Hello.” She says towards your family.

“These are my parents, Rebecca and Richard, my brother Phil, and his partner Julian.”

“It’s so nice to meet you all, I’m Andy’s mother, this is my fiancé, Noah, and my sister Allie and her husband Ned.”

Everyone shakes hands. The kids had run off to go play, so it was just the adults right now.

“We absolutely adore Andy.” Your mom tells Paige. “He’s a sweet boy.”

“Oh, thank you.” She smiles. “He raved about those paints you got him, he uses them all the time.” Out of the corner of her eye, Paige spots Lydia and waves her over. “This is my mother, Lydia. Mum, these are Y/N’s parents, and brothers.”

“Nice to meet all of you.” She smiles to the best of her ability and shakes their hands.

“Well, I need to go see what else Harry needs help with, so I’ll leave you grown-ups to chat.”

“We’ll help too.” Phil says. “I am a chef after all.” He tugs Julian along, full well knowing how nasty Lydia can be from what you’ve told them. Your parents could easily handle it. “She looks too nice to be a bitch.” Phil smirks.

“Trust me, she has her moments, although, she doesn’t make many comments too me anymore.” You smirk back.

All of the kids enjoy the freshly grilled food that they were ravenous for. After lunch was the balloon toss. Harry pairs up with Andy, just like last year, and you decide to participate with Phil.

“I swear, if you whip this thing at me…” He says as you’re still relatively close.

“Don’t be such a baby. It’s a trust exercise if anything.”

“Mhm, exactly.”

“I prank you with one whoopee cushion and-“

“You did that in front of my prom date!”

“Well, good thing you’re gay or else I’d be more concerned that I embarrassed you in front of her.”

Phil bursts out laughing as you continue to toss the balloon. He ends up dropping it at one point, which disqualifies you. Caroline and Rachel are out next, and then Tyler and Alexis. Brandon has paired up with his dad, and it was down to the four of them again. Mr. Stewart drops the balloon at the last second, which causes for Andy and Harry to be champs once again.

Once everyone settles a bit, it’s time for cake and gifts. Andy’s friends got him some good gift certificates and other little things.

“A new skateboard!” Andy beams. “Thanks, Noah.”

“You’re welcome, buddy.” Noah smiles proudly. Things were going really well recently between him and Andy. “That’s from my parents, they send their love.” Andy nods at him.  

Next up you had passed him the gift your family brought him. You had no idea what it could be.

“Holy shhhh-cow.” Andy corrects himself as he tears the wrapping paper open. “A home pottery kit?!”

“Y/N mentioned to us how much you enjoy the clay in your art classes, and we found this for kids.” Your mom explains. “Do you like it?”

“I love it! Thank you so much.”

Lydia had gotten him some new ski equipment which he was grateful for. You give your family a thumbs up. The last gift was one from you, Harry, Paige, and Noah as it cost a pretty penny. It was just in an envelope. He opens it carefully, and his eyes widen, nearly welling up with tears.

“No way.” He looks at the four of you.

“What is it, Andy?” Brandon asks.

“Three tickets to the Ariana Grande concert and…a pass for a meet and greet.”

“Whoa!” Caroline exclaims. “That’s incredible!”

Andy stands up and gives everyone a hug, thanking you all profusely.

“Think this’ll hold you over until you get a phone next year?” Paige asks him.

“Definitely.”

He knew the three tickets implied that he could bring a friend with him, and the obvious choice was Caroline. Brandon didn’t mind Ari, but it was something that Andy and Caroline really bonded over. He could talk to her about it later.

The party was a huge success, and Andy was feeling super happy. It was nice for him to see so many people interacting.

“Well, we better get going since it’s getting late.” Paige says to him, giving him a big hug and kiss. “I’m so glad you had a good birthday, baby.”

“Me too, thanks again for everything, Mum.”

He says goodbye to Noah, Rachel, Allie, Ned, and Lydia as well. Then he takes his time saying goodbye to your family. Needless to say he was pooped by the time everyone left.

“When can I use the pottery kit?” He asks Harry as he cleans some things in the kitchen.

“I can set it up in the garage one of these weekends and you can go to town.”

“Alright!” Andy exclaims. “I’m gonna go to bed early I think, I’m tired, but thanks for everything today.”

“You’re welcome, but don’t just thank me.” He nods towards you and Andy gives you a hug.

“Thanks, Y/N.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

He lets you go and heads to his room. Once his door is closed Harry yanks you towards him and you giggle.

“Laugh all you want, but I’m going to ravage you tonight.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm.” He ghosts his lips along your jawline before kissing on your neck, sucking a little making you moan softly. “You were incredible today. Well, you’re incredible every day, but…everything just meant a lot to me.”

“I really feel like we’re a family, you know? I love it so much, more than I ever thought I would.”

Harry kisses you, a little more passionately than you were expecting, but it was still nice.

“Go on into the bedroom, I’ll be in after I finish with the dishes.”

“Nonsense, I can help.”

“Don’t be silly, I’ve got it.”

“Harry, I can help with the dishes.”

“I know you can, and you usually do, but you don’t have to worry about it right now. I want you to go in and wait for me.”

“Okay…” You turn away and stop short to look back at him. “I think I’m gonna run a bath…long day outside.”

“Put in that lavender bath bomb for me, would you?”

You smile and nod and head into your room’s en suite. Tonight was going to be a good night.

//

Harry slips into the tub, and you sit in front of him. He had checked on Andy before coming in, and the poor kid had all but passed out in his bed. You rest your head on Harry’s shoulder as you both relax.

“This was an excellent idea.” He sighs. “Feel like we don’t take advantage of the tub enough.”

“We don’t usually have time.”

“Well, with school over we will, especially during the day with Andy at school.”

“I’m gonna miss him when we send him off to Paige’s…”

“It’s a month away, babe. Plus, we’ll still see him plenty.”

“I know…”

“You’ll come camping again, yeah? He and Brandon are really looking forward to the annual trip.”

“Oh, definitely! And this time when we wake up all snuggled up it won’t be weird.”

“Can’t believe that was almost a year ago.” He kisses your temple. “Now we’re living together, it’s wild.”

“I’m really glad the school doesn’t care about colleagues dating, or we’d be in a real pickle.”

“Oh, I would have just secretly dated you.”

“Oh, really?” You turn slightly to look at him.

“Yeah, you’re talking to an unapologetic romantic here, a secret romance would be, like, right up my alley.”

“You’re an idiot.” You giggle and kiss his cheek. “Can you believe I only have one more year of doctoral work to do and then I’m done? I can’t wait for my work to be published.”

“I was thinking…the journal that publishes my works is always looking for younger people in the field, if you ever wanted to chat with them.”

“No, that’s your thing, babe, but thank you. Lisa has a few names of some people for me anyways.” You take his hand and kiss his soapy knuckles. “But, I will need your help soon. I need to start working on my defense presentation.”

“Who’s on your committee?”

“Lisa, Sandra, Dan and Alice from English, Patricia from Psychology, and Greg from Philosophy.”

“Good group.”

“Thanks, I thought it was pretty decent. And then obviously whoever else wants to come can. I just want the presentation to feel fun and eye-opening. You’re so good at captivating your audience, I wanna work on that.”

“You know I have horrible stage fright?”

“No way.”

“Way! I get all these nerves right before I need to give a lecture like that, but I accept the fear and use it to help me give a good performance.”

“Do you ever get nervous before teaching a class?”

“I’m always nervous on the first day, but once we get rolling and I can gauge how the kids will be I’m usually fine.”

“Same for me.”

“Well, I’m more than happy to help you, baby, you know that.”

“Thank you.”

His arms were wrapped around you stomach gently. One of his hands starts to drift lower, and between your legs, causing your breath to hitch.

“Alright?” He says into your ear.

“Mhm.” You say as you part your legs a little for him. His other hand come up to grope one of your breasts.

His fingers rub circles into your clit before slipping into your center. You groan and buck your hips forward by accident. His other hand comes up to your mouth.

“Gotta be quiet, baby.” He coos as his fingers pump in and out of you. You nod against him and removes his hand. “That’s my good girl.”

“Harry.” You whine softly. “Wanna ride you.”

“Okay.” You move to turn around but he stops you. “Should be able to just slip it in like this, yeah?”

“Let’s give it a try.”

You lift yourself up enough for him to line himself up with you and you sink down on him. He thrusts up into you and you gasp. He brings his fingers to your mouth for you to suck on and you reach back to do the same thing for him as you continue to fuck each other. His other hand stays rubbing your clit, and you feel yourself getting closer and closer. You start squeezing around him, tighter and tighter. You moan out around his fingers once you’ve gotten your release. Harry as to quickly lift you off him to come on your back.

“Jesus, shit.” He pants. “That was a close one.” He kisses your shoulder before pressing his forehead against it. He reaches for a washcloth to dip into the water to clean your back up. You hum your response as your eyes flutter closed.

“M’sleepy now.”

“Me too, love, come on.”

He helps you stand up and you both towel off and get ready for bed. Harry gives you kisses and smooches before you turn over so he can spoon you.

“Love you so much.” He sighs as his arm wraps around you.

“I love you too.” You adjust against him and sigh as well.

//

“Straight A’s again!” Andy says as he slaps his report card down on the table when he gets home from his last day of school. “Also not to brag, but Caroline and I won the three-legged race during field day, so I think ice cream is in order.”

“You didn’t partner up with Brandon?” Harry asks.

“Caroline got to me first.” Andy shrugs. “Please, Dad, can we get ice cream?

“Yeah, please, Dad.” You pout with Andy, and Harry sighs with a chuckle.

“Alright, we can get ice cream after dinner tonight.”

Y/N and Andy high five to celebrate.

“Andy, things are okay with you and Brandon, right?” Harry asks him.

“Yeah, they’re fine.”

“Did he ever, um, try to teach you anything again?” You ask, carefully.

“No.” Andy shakes his head. “We never really talked about it. He’s excited for the camping trip though.”

“Well, that’s good.” Harry says. “It’ll be a nice couple of days.”

After dinner you all go downtown to get ice cream at the local shop, and sit outside to enjoy your treats. You smirk to yourself as Andy bites into your sundae.

“You know, I’m pretty sure I joined you for this last year, but I recall you not being able to get topping because you texted me with your dad’s phone.”

“Oh, yeah!” Andy chuckles. “That was pretty good.”

“You’re a little too sly for your own good.” Harry says. “I could have gotten her to come with us on my own.”

“Yeah, but you were taking too long. Sometimes you have to take some initiative, Dad.” Andy smirks as Harry rolls his eyes.

“Eat your ice cream.”

You laugh at that, and gives Harry’s hand a squeeze.

“Either way it was nice to be included. Do you have big summer plans with Mum, Andy?”

“Yes and no. I mean, her wedding is next month, so that’ll take up some time, and then Rachel and I will come stay with you when they’re on their honeymoon. But I think in between all that Noah’s got some boat trips planned. I like fishing with him.”

“That’s right…they’ll be with us for my birthday…” You look at Harry. “I don’t know what my family has planned…”

“I was hoping to take everyone up to the cabin that week so it still felt like a little vacation.”

“Oh, that would be fun!”

“Your family could come up if they wanted.”

“I don’t wanna create more work.”

“You wouldn’t be, I think it would be fun.”

“Yeah! We can go on the jet skis.”

“You mean you can go on the jet skis. I’ll watch from the shore.” You laugh.

“It’s actually pretty fun.” Harry grins.

“I’ll take your word for it.”

//

Brandon slept over the night before the camping trip so you all could leave bright and early. Harry was taking you up a different 4,000 footer. You must have asked him a dozen times if there would be a bathroom there, and every time Harry said yes, so you believed him.

The boys were really excited. You could hear them up late talking about the view they’d have since Andy had hiked it before. Brandon seemed thrilled to be having some one on one time with Andy. As you started up the trail, you could tell they were having a good time by the sounds of their laughter.

“Doing alright so far?” Harry asks you. “Other than the couple of small hikes we went on last month, this is, like, your first big one of the season.”

“Oh, sure, I’m fine. I’ll probably be sore tomorrow. I’m just happy to be outside, you know?”

“Definitely. I hate seeing you all cooped up.”

“Can’t help it.”

“I like seeing you do your work out on the deck.”

“I love having an outdoor space to do it in, you have no idea.”

It was a very long hike, full of breaks, and look out points. You all weren’t in a rush, which always made things more fun. Once you’re at the summit you all drop your gear with relief. Tons of pictures are taken, and then you head off to find the bathroom while the boys set up the tents. It felt like an anniversary in a way. This when you sort of realized you might like Harry as more than a friend. You’ll never forget waking up with him like you did.

“You guys are speedy.” You say after coming back.

“I’d say we’re professionals at this point.” Andy says and it makes you laugh.

As the sun starts to set, you all get cozy around the fire. Harry had made a nice dinner, and now you were enjoying some s’mores. The boys say goodnight first, and then you and Harry clean up before heading into your own tent.

“Look at us, sleeping in a double wide sleeping bag.” You giggle as you cozy up to him.

“Should have just done this last year too. I think that really would have put out there how I was feeling.” He chuckles and kisses your hairline.

“At least it won’t be awkward when you wake up spooning me.”

“I never thought it was awkward.” He strokes your cheek with his thumb. “Especially not with how you looked up at me.”

“I wanted you to kiss me that morning.”

“I did too.” He pecks your lips.

“I love kissing you.”

“Love kissing you too, baby.”

While you and Harry were whispering sweet nothings to each other, Andy and Brandon were have their own conversation in their tent.

“So, your mom’s wedding is next month, are you excited?” Brandon asks Andy as they get settled into their sleeping bags.

“Yeah, I get to walk her down the aisle, so that’ll be cool.”

“Is your dad going?”

“Officially, yeah.” Andy sighs. “I think Y/N told him it would be good to go for the whole thing, and he agreed. Although, I think he said he plans on sitting all the way in the back.” Andy laughs. “I know it’s gotta be awkward for him.” Andy rolls over onto his side to look at Brandon easier, and Brandon does the same. “When do you, um, go to camp?”

“Last week of July through the first week of August…well, that’s when I usually go, I don’t know if I wanna go this year. I have another week to decide.”

“Why don’t you wanna go?”

“Because of Molly.” Brandon groans. “We broke up again.”

“You did?!”

“Yeah.”

“When?”

“Like…two days ago…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I figured I’d tell you this weekend, it’s not a big deal, but I don’t really feel like dealing with her for two weeks. I’m keep my fingers crossed that we won’t have the same schedule next year.”

“So, you don’t think you’re immediately going to get back together with her when school starts?” Andy laughs.

“Nope.” Brandon smiles. “I’m over her.”

“Cool…” Andy blushes. “Well, if you don’t end up going to camp, um, my mum said I could invite a few friends to her wedding.”

“Oh, yeah?” Brandon raises an eyebrow at him. “Who else are you going to invite?”

“Probably Caroline and Tyler.”

“Andy…if you still like her so much, why did you break up?”

“I like being friends with her, I don’t know. I don’t think I was ready for all that…dating someone…maybe when I’m older.”

“There were a few rumors going around that you liked someone more than her.” Andy’s eyes widen at Brandon. “Is that true?”

“Yeah.” Andy swallows. “Yeah, there’s someone I like more than her, but I’m still not really ready to date so I’ve been keeping it to myself.”

“Who, um, who is it?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why?” Brandon frowns. “You’re my best friend, Andy…I’d tell you if I liked someone.”

“Would you?” Andy sits up and looks the other way. Brandon sits up as well.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“Can I ask you something first?”

“Okay.”

“If…if Tyler had been nervous about kissing Alexis…would you have offered to show him how like you did with me?”

Brandon’s face flushes. He was thankful that it was dark in the tent.

“Well, he’s not even with her, so it doesn’t matter does it?”

“Yes it does. Would you have done that with anyone?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re my best friend.” Brandon takes a deep breath. “You have been for as long as I can remember, Andy. I mean…the day you told me that you weren’t going back to your mom’s for the school year was, like, more exciting than any present I’ve ever gotten. Getting to start middle school with you was like a dream come true. Ty’s great and all, but he’s not my best friend.”

“So…that’s all it was then? Because I’m your best friend and you just wanted to help?”

“Yeah.”

Andy nods and lays back down. Brandon does the same. They both lay on their backs.

“You’re gonna tell me who else you like, are you?”

“No.” Andy looks at Brandon slightly. “Not yet anyways.”

“If I don’t go to camp I’ll come to the wedding.” He looks at Andy. “Just don’t dance with Caroline the entire time.” He smirks.

“I won’t.”

Andy rolls over to his other side, facing away from Brandon. He blinks a couple of tears away. How could he tell Brandon he liked him when Brandon was telling him he was just a friend? He didn’t want to do anything to ruin their friendship. He also knew he just wasn’t ready for kissing or things like that, so he wasn’t going to say anything until he knew he was really ready.

//

The next morning you wake up in Harry’s arms, like always, and give his cheek a kiss before sitting up to stretch.

“Sleep alright, baby?” He yawns.

“Mhm, did you?”

“Yup.” He smiles and you smile back at him. This weekend felt like an anniversary to him too. Your actual one was coming up soon.

You both get up and use the bathroom, and see that the boys are already up and ready to go. They seemed to be tired.

“You both sleep alright?” You ask as you start your journey back down the mountain.

“Mhm.” Brandon yawns. “Just tired, it’s early.”

“I’m so glad school’s over so we can just sleep in.” Andy says.

“I know the feeling.” You say. “Although, your dad makes it impossible sometimes.”

“Well excuse me for trying to stick to a routine.” Harry scoffs. “I do my best to stay quiet.”

“Mm, sure, Jan.” You say and it makes him laugh.

“Is that something Auntie Janette would say?” Andy asks.

“No, it’s from The Brady Bunch.” Harry says. “You know that old show, we’ve watched it a couple of times. Jan can’t stand her older sister Marsha, and Marsha always catches Jan in a lie. It’s pretty funny.”

“It’s, like, a catchphrase, right, Mr. Styles?” Brandon asks.

“Exactly.”

It’s a smooth trek down the mountain. You all take your time just as you did going up, and eventually you get back to the car. Harry drops Brandon off at his house, and Andy walks him up to his door.

“Well, thanks for another great trip.” Brandon say.

“Sure, I’m glad you came.”

“When do you go to your mom’s?”

“In a few days…”

“Okay, maybe we can hang out before you go?”

“Definitely.” The boys hug and then Brandon goes inside. Andy sighs heavily when he gets in the car. You and Harry look at each other before he drives off towards the house.

“Andy, when you come back later this summer the kitchen’s gonna have an all new look, are you excited?” You say, trying to break the tension.

“Yeah! You better send me pictures along the way.”

“We will.” Harry says. “We’ll need your expert input I’m sure.”

//

Doing demo in the kitchen was a liberating experience. Knocking out the old cabinets with Harry was more fun than you thought it would be. Then again, how could it not be a good time watch him use a sledgehammer?

“I say we’ve earned ourselves a couple of drinks.” He says as he gets a couple of beers out of the fridge. “I know beer’s not your favorite, but-“

“It’s fine.” You take it. “Let’s go sit outside, it’s all dusty in here.”

He agrees, and you both head out to the deck.

“I’m glad we rented that dumpster, clean up shouldn’t be too difficult.” Harry says as he cracks his beer open. “Especially with how much we already did.”

“I know! We got so much done today. I can’t wait to see what the new stain on the floor will look like.”

“I was talking to the floor guy about that, he said since he’s refinishing it as well we won’t be able to walk on it properly for a few days. I was thinking we could go up to the cabin while it’s getting done. We both can still work without a ton of fumes.”

“Good idea. I certainly wouldn’t mind the view of the lake for a few days.”

“Cabinets should be installed by the wedding.” He says as he takes a sip.

“You’re sure you’re okay to go? I don’t want to force you…”

“No, I know I need to be there. I wanna see Andy walk her down the aisle and all that. Besides, my suit is gorgeous, I can’t let it go to waste.” He scoffs and it makes you laugh.

“Just making sure.” You reach for his hand and give it a squeeze. “Ugh, I need a long, hot shower. I feel gross.”

“Same here. Feel like sharing?”

“No, I’m on my period.” You pout. “Just need a little alone time.”

“Fine.” He sighs. “Go do your thing.”

“Thanks, babe.” You get up and kiss the top of his head before going inside.

Harry knew you were going to take a shower by yourself, but he wanted to play it cool. He had ordered pizza and made sure to get your favorite wine, but had to hide it from you. He cleans himself off quickly in the other bathroom, and gets everything set up outside. He lights a few candles. Satisfied with his work, he waits for you.

“I’m all done, thanks for…” You walk outside in an oversized shirt and pajama pants. “What is all this?”

“Our anniversary dinner.” He smiles and wraps his arms around you. “It was a year ago today that you came here with this exact meal and we kissed for the for the first time.”

“Oh my goodness, Harry.” You kiss him and wrap your arms around his neck. “This is so sweet, I…I thought we were celebrating in a couple of days though, I-“

“That’s what I told you so I could surprise you. Normally I’d cook, but the kitchen isn’t functioning at the moment.”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

You both kiss again, and you decide to sit on his lap as you ate and drank. You just really wanted to be as close as possible right now. He didn’t mind one bit, he liked when you’d cling to him a little more.

“The candles were a nice touch, very romantic, Har.” You sit back against his chest and he wraps his arms around your stomach.

“I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it! I’m not super into overdone surprises, so this is literally perfect.”

“You really do like keeping things simple, huh?”

“Mhm, I mean, the gesture is always appreciated, I just don’t like people making such a big fuss over me, you know?” Harry hums his response and moves some of your hair so he can kiss on the back of your neck.

“But you’re worth making a fuss over.” He mumbles as his lips move up your neck. “How heavy is your flow, baby?”

“Should be minimal since I just showered.” You bite your bottom lip. “Do you really feel like it?”

“Yeah, we can just put a towel down like we’ve done before.”

“Okay.” You smile as he nibbles on your earlobe.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You giggle and get off him. You bring the pizza and leftover wine inside before going into the bedroom.

Harry puts a couple of towels down while you go into the bathroom. You come out and quickly walk over to the bed to lay down. Harry rolls a condom on, and puts some extra lube on it so he doesn’t hurt you.

“All set?” He says to you as he knees onto the bed.

“Mhm.” You smile.

His lips slot over yours and his hands knead your breasts. He pushes inside you and you gasp into his mouth.

“Lube was a little cold.” You giggle.

“Sorry, baby, is it better now?” He asks as he rocks in and out of you.

“Yes.”

He squishes his nose to yours, and you wrap your legs around his waist. He comes closer so you’re chest to chest. You lick into his mouth and he groans against you. You feel tears start to form in your eyes and you start laughing.

“You haven’t even come yet, why are you crying?” He laughs as he uses his thumbs to wipe the small droplets away.

“I’m just really happy we’re together.”

“Me too, darling.” He kisses your forehead.

“I’m also hormonal.”

“Mhm, sure, blame it on that if you want.” He smirks and continues thrusting in and out of you.

“Fuck, that feels good.” Your nails rake down his back and he groans into your ear. Your nails dig into his ass as he fucks you harder. “Just like that, Harry, don’t stop.” You moan.

He bites down on your neck, and you whimper. It always felt so fucking good when he would do that, and with you not having to work and Andy being at Paige’s, Harry was free to litter you with marks. Well, within reason. He’d save the really nasty bruises for your inner thighs.

You cry out as you come undone, and Harry fills up the condom not too long after. You both get cleaned up and you grab the bottle of wine as you get settled for a movie in bed. You each take turns swigging from it. You were sitting in front of Harry, all cozy.

“I’ll need to work on my paper tomorrow.” You tell him. “Taking a couple of days off for demo was good to clear my head, but I need to get back at it.”

“That’s fine, I have some work I need to do for my manuscript. Are you planning to go to the CMT conference again this summer?”

“Can’t.” You take another swig from the bottle and look up at him. “It’s in California this year, and it’s right before the fall semester.”

“So?”

“So…that’s time I would need to prep for my classes. I’d be gone for about a week with the traveling.”

“Do you want to go?”

“Well…yeah, there’s going to be some really good speakers this year.”

“Then you should go.” He smiles. “I’d go too, but I need to be around for Andy once August hits.”

“You’d really be okay with me being gone an entire week across the country?”

“Baby, no one loves a lecture more than you, I don’t want you to not go because of me.” He kisses your hairline.

“I’d literally be getting back the day of our first faculty meeting. I looked into it already. I’d have to go from the airport to the school.”

“You’re always hours early for the faculty meeting…”

“Yeah, because I like getting my office in order.” You scoff. “Is there a reason you want me to go?”

“No.” He shrugs. “I just think it’s rare when we don’t have to cancel class to go to a conference, and the school will pay for you to go.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you can apply for a scholarship, I can show you. Then it would just be the air fare which isn’t that expensive out there this time of year.”

“I suppose that’s true…if I can get the school to pay for it then I’ll definitely go.”

“Good.” He smiles.

//

A few days away at the cabin were just what the doctor ordered. It felt weird not having Andy around, but you honestly weren’t upset at having a break from parenting. You texted with him here and there, just to check in and let him know you were thinking of him, as did Harry. You really cherished the time you and Harry could just be you and Harry. He got you to go on a jet ski with him, and even though you screamed the entire time, it was still fun. It was the perfect getaway home, and when you got back to your actual home your new kitchen floors looked stunning. The cabinet people came in a couple of days later, and you made sure to send Andy all of the pictures. July was flying by.

“Okay, so, for your birthday, we’ll go to the cabin and bring the kids, and your parents and brothers will meet us up there for a couple of nights as well?” Harry says as he looks over his planner.

“Yes.” You chuckle.

“What?”

“You just look so serious. I feel like I’m having an appointment with you at your office.” You clear your throat. “You wanted to see me, Dr. Styles.” You pout at him and he swallows hard.

“That’s not funny.” He puts his pen down and takes his glasses off to look at you. “I could get in a big heap of trouble if a student came onto me like that.”

“Did it ever used to work on you when you were younger?”

“No.” He scoffs. “Although the girls, and some boys, would try, I have to give them credit. I’d get offers from them to babysit Andy just because they wanted to know how I lived and all that. It was more difficult when I was closer in age, now I don’t even give it a second glance. They know not to flirt with me anyways because my girlfriend would probably step in and pummel ‘em.” He grins at you.

“Got that right.” You smirk. “Although, you’re the jealous one, not me.”

“I would strangle any kid at that school if I saw them trying to make a move on you, no doubt about that.” You burst out laughing and put your hand over his to give it a squeeze.

“Okay, okay…are you ready for tomorrow?”

“Am I ready to see my son all dressed up? Yes. I hope he’s been behaving at the rehearsal dinner.” Harry looks at his watch. “Should be over soon.” He chews on his inner cheek. “Y/N…someday…when we, you know, get married…” A smile grows on your face. “I don’t think I’d want to invite them.”

“Wow, really? I’m…shocked…”

“At a petty level, I truthfully just don’t think she deserves to see me so happy, and I feel like she’s rubbing how happy she is in my face. She’s always been like, just, painfully oblivious.” He rests his chin on her palm. “I know it would hurt her, but I wouldn’t want her there.”

“Okay.” You get up and sit in his lap.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, I don’t need your ex at our wedding.” You laugh. “Maybe it’s different for her since she’s the one that called it quits. I know you’re over her, but I can understand how all this might still hurt.”

“It brings up a lot of things, yeah.” He looks up at you and smiles. “But I’m really happy with how everything worked out. I’m happy I’m with you.” He gives your shoulder a squeeze. “You-you’ve become like a second mum to Andy and…I feel like for so long I was just living my life on auto, just doing the same thing every day, but now…I have more of a purpose again.”

“Harry.” You coo and stroke his cheek. “You’ve changed my life for the better too.”

//

You were able to get your hair in a cute low bun, with some curls left out. You bought a light blue semi-formal dress to wear to pair with Harry’s suit. He was just getting his contacts in as you were slipping on your heels.

“Be honest, how do I look?” He says to you.

“Like I don’t wanna let you leave this house.” You bite your bottom lip.

“Excellent, just what I was going for.” He rubs his hands up and down your arms. “You look stunning, baby.”

“Thank you.”

“Ready to go meet her entire family and Noah’s?”

“Is everyone really going to fit in her backyard?”

“The ceremony is in the back yard, the reception is in a tent on the beach.”

“Oh…fancy.”

“Nothing but the best for her.” Harry rolls his eyes. “Got the gift?”

“In the car already.”

Harry nods and you both head out.

Andy looked handsome. His hair was perfect, and he essentially never looked more like his father. It was the tan he had from being out so much. He wouldn’t be able to see his friends before the ceremony since he needed to stay in close proximity with Paige. They were able to take all of the bridal party photos beforehand. Same with the groom’s party.

There were a ton of chairs set up, and people were finding their seats. You and Harry sit in the last row of seats on the bride’s side. He puts a pair of sunglasses on. The last thing he wanted to do was be recognized and exchange pleasantries with Paige’s extended family.

“I have some tissue in my purse if you need some.” You say to him. “I don’t know about you, but I always cry at weddings.”

“So do I, thanks.” He holds his hand out for the tissues and you give him a couple. He puts his arm around you and kisses your temple.

“Think there will be an open bar?”

“Oh, for sure.” He scoffs. “We’ll be drinking well tonight.”

“Hi, Mr. Styles.” Brandon and Tyler come up to you and Harry. “Can we sit with you? We don’t really know anyone else.”

“Sure!” Harry says.

“Yeah, plenty of room.” You say. “Where’s Caroline?”

“Why should I know?” Brandon says as he sits down next to you.

“Because you’re all friends, duh.” You say to him.

“She’s in the bathroom.” Tyler says. “She’ll be here in a second.”

Caroline eventually joins everyone, but she’s a little fidgety.

“What took you so long?” Brandon asks her.

“There was, um, a line.” She says.

More and more take their seats, and music starts up. Everyone looks forward as Rachel walks up with Noah and the rest of the groomsmen. She looked lovely. Noah gives her a hug and kiss before she gets in line with the rest of the party. A couple of Paige’s younger cousins act as the flower girls. Allie and Ned walk Lydia down the aisle, and then come the bridesmaids. Harry knew them all well. Friends from college, and friends from work. Some of their eyes widen when they notice Harry, but they keep walking. Everyone stands up when Paige’s bridal music starts. You get your phone ready to snap a few shots of Andy.

“Oh my god, look at him.” Harry whispers proudly. He lifts his sunglasses to see him better. Andy waves to his father.

Paige and Harry briefly make eye contact. They nod at each other as Andy continues to walk her down the aisle.

“He’s a spitting image.” You whisper to Harry, and he smiles at you.

The ceremony is quick, there’s some Hebrew from a rabbi, and Noah steps on the glass. Everyone’s told where to go for cocktail hour, and they start making their way.

“Dad!” Andy shouts to get his attention. “Mum wants a family picture.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, like, with all of us, come on.” He tugs on Harry’s jacket sleeve, and Harry looks back at you panicked. You follow them to the spot where the photos are being taken.

“Hey you two!” Paige beams. “Of course your suit is amazing, shouldn’t have doubted it for a second.” She says to Harry. “And you look lovely, Y/N.”

“Um, thank you. Congratulations.” You say to her.

“Thank you.” She giggles. “I’m a missus!  Can’t believe it. Anyways, I thought it would be nice if we took a blended family photo.” Harry just nods and follows her. “Okay, so I was thinking I could stand in the middle, Rachel on one side, and Andy on the other, like, in front, and then Noah on one side and you on the other, and Y/N next to you.”

“Wait, you want me in the photo?” You ask.

“Of course! You’re family now, have been for a while.”

Harry snakes his arm around your waist and pulls you close to him, and uses his other hand to put on Andy’s shoulder. They take a few photos like that as everyone else stands to the side watching.

“Okay, well, we’re going to the cocktail hour, thanks for including us in your very special day.” Harry says with just an ounce of sarcasm and an ironic grin, and tugs you along.

“Alright, I can see what you mean now, painfully oblivious.”

“Jesus, thank you! Was that awkward or was that awkward?”

“Nope, very awkward. Come on, let’s go drink.”

The tent on the beach was exquisite. There was an open bar, a DJ, and waiters walking around with appetizers. You and harry go right up to the bar for cocktails before finding what table you’ve been put at.

“Harry!” A woman squeals and lunges onto him, making him almost spill his drink. “God, it’s been years!”

“Sarah!” Harry hugs her back. “I know, how are you?”

“I’m doing well.” She steps back from him. “You haven’t aged a day.”

“My hair would beg to differ.” He runs a hand through it.

“Oh, please, you look distinguished.” She smiles and looks at you. “And who’s this?”

“Oh! Sorry, um, Sarah this is my girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N, Sarah and I went to uni together with Paige.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you.” You shake her hand.  

“Same to you. My hubby, Joe, is just getting us some drinks. Seems like we’ve been put at the same table. I wonder if we all were.”

“All?” Harry asks.

“Sure! Jane and her wife are her, and so is Greg, he came stag…” She leans into Harry. “Divorced recently.” She whispers. “Oh! And Lauren’s here too. Basically the reject list for the wedding party.” She laughs.

Harry didn’t think Paige was still this close with all of their old college buddies. It would be like a mini-reunion, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He almost wished he was put at the kids table with Andy and his friends.

“I’m shocked to see you here, I mean I’m happy to see you and all, but-“

“Well, as you saw, our son walked her down the aisle and she really didn’t want me to miss it, so here I am.”

Slowly everyone else makes their way over to the table. Harry introduces you to everyone. The last one to make their way is Lauren.

“Harry Styles.” She smiles and he turns to look at her.

“Hey.” He smiles back and hugs her. “Um, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.” He hooks his arm around your waist and pulls you close to his side as you shake your hand.

“You’re a very lucky woman, Y/N. Harry’s the best.” She says.

“Yeah, he is.” You say.

You all take your seats as the wedding party makes their way into the tent. Harry keeps his hand on your thigh the entire time. Harry could see on Paige’s face that she was desperately trying to keep it together. She missed her father. Everyone stands up and crowds around the dancefloor as Noah takes Rachel’s hand for a father-daughter dance.

“She is too cute.” You say to Harry.

“I know it, absolutely precious.” He agrees and takes a sip of his drink.

Next up is a mother-son dance for Andy and Paige. You watch as the smile grows on Harry’s face. He was proud of Andy for being such a good sport, and he could see that Andy was having fun. You take your phone out to take a video of the dance so Andy could see it later. Noah has a dance with his mother, and then Paige has a dance with Lydia.

“I’m shocked.” Harry says to you. “Lydia’s so traditional.”

“I’m glad to see her doing something nice for Paige.”

Once all of that is out of the way, everyone takes their seats again for the first course. Just a Caesar salad and some bread. You listen as Harry and his friends reminisce. You wonder, briefly, what his deal with Lauren is. She seemed to be the most sentimental. She was sitting next to you and you could feel her eyes burning into you.

“So, how long have you and Harry been together for?” She asks you.

“A year.” You smile. “But we were friends a year prior to us getting together.”

“Oh, do you work with him at the university?”

“Yes, we met because I ended up being his office neighbor. I guess that’s why we became such good friends too.”

“You know what solidified us being friends?” He leans over you, joining the conversation. “That first game night you came to. We were playing charades remember?”

“How could I forget?” You smile and kiss his cheek. He goes back to the other conversation he was having with his friend Greg. “How did you and Harry meet?” You ask Lauren.

“At a party.” She shrugs. “I was a year ahead of him, same with Paige. I think Greggy brought him out, they were roommates their sophomore year. He fit right in with our group. He immediately had a crush on Paige, everyone could see it.” She laughs and your mouth forms into a straight line. “Don’t worry, all of that was a long time ago.”

“Yeah.” You finish your drink and tap Harry’s shoulder. “I’m going to get another one.”

“Do you want me to get it?”

“No, I need to stretch my legs.” You stand up and walk towards the bar. Harry looks at Lauren.

“What?” She asks him.

“Did you say something to her?”

“About what?” He gives her an obvious look. “No, why would I mention that?”

“Because you’re you.” He smirks.

“All I said was that it was obvious that you had a crush on Paige from the first time Greg brought you out, nothing about you and I.”

“Maybe don’t mention how much I used to like my ex?”

“She asked me how you and I met, it was just part of the story. Lighten up, H.”

“Here, I got you another one too.” You say as you sit back down.

“Thanks, babe.”

The main course is served, and toasts start being made. Allie gives a small toast, but tears up. Noah’s best man lightens the mood with some funny jokes. Andy and Rachel even give a toast, a poem they worked on together. Harry had to dab his eyes with your tissues to wipe a few tears away.

“I’m just so proud of him. He looks so grown up.” He pouts at you.

“I know.” You smile. “It’s okay.”

Noah and Paige thank everyone for coming, and then most people make their way to the dancefloor. Andy comes racing overo to your table and throws his arms around Harry.

“How was it?” He asks.

“You did amazing, buddy.”

“Y/N, will you come dance?”

“Sure, let me just kick these heels off.” You giggle and get up. Andy takes your hand and leads you to the dancefloor.

Harry watches as you twirl Andy around and just be silly with him. It warmed his heart.

“I’m gonna go join them.” He takes his suit jacket off. “Hope you all will dance too.”

“Need about three more drinks.” Sarah says. “But feel free to warm it up for us out there.”

Harry laughs and heads over to you. His dance moves make Andy laugh hysterically. The wedding photographer comes over and takes a picture of the three of you. After a few songs, Andy says he’s gonna go dance with his friends, and enjoy some cake.

“Are you having a good time?” Harry asks as you both make your way to the bar again.

“Mhm, are you?”

“It’s not too bad. I’m really glad you’re here.” He gives your hand a squeeze. “This’ll probably be my last one, I don’t wanna get so fucked up that I can’t drive us home.”

“I can cool it if you wanna keep drinking.”

“No, it’s okay. I also don’t want Andy seeing me sloshed, you know?”

“Oh, true. Let’s nurse these ones then, yeah?”

“Harry!” Paige comes over to you both. “Would you come take another picture with all our college friends?”

“Um, sure.” Harry hands you his drink and you follow to where the photo is being taken. He stands as far away from Paige as he can, and flashes that toothy smile of his.

“Not that I don’t love Noah, but seeing Harry tonight…makes me sad that Paige couldn’t work it out with him.” You overhear a woman say to another. You try not to make it obvious that you’re listening.

“I know! How could you not make it work with a man like that? Must be his personality, good dick can only make you happy for so long.”

Your mouth falls open in shock. You turn to the women and grimace. Before you have a chance to say anything Harry’s coming back over to you, snatching his drink and tugging you back to the dancefloor. You shake what you heard from your head as you look at him. Harry had a wonderful personality, and if those bitched were too dumb to see that, then fuck them. It was fun to dance with Harry like this, just goofy and without a care.

Andy was having a good time dancing as a group with his friends. A slow song comes on to give everyone a break from the fast paced music. He looks over and sees you and Harry coming together for a dance and he smiles.

“Now this is my favorite kind of dancing.” Harry says into your ear.

“Really? So when we went to that club up north and I backed my thang up against you...?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Okay, this is my second favorite kind of dancing.” You both giggle. “That was a great night, I have to say.”

“Mhm.” You smile and kiss him quickly before resting your head on his shoulder as he leads you.

“Andy, wanna dance?” Caroline asks him shyly.

“Yeah.” He smiles and puts his hands on her waist.

“You look really handsome.”

“Thanks.” He blushes. “I like your dress. You know you always look pretty.”

She smiles at him.

“I’m glad we’re still good friends.” She says as they sway back and forth.

“Me too.”

“During the next slow song you should ask Brandon to dance.”

“What?”

“It’s like you’re always saying, rip the band aid.” She grins at him.

“Caroline, I…”

“Look, I’m not trying to assume anything, but if I had to guess who it was you liked I’d say it’s him, and I think he likes you too, but you both are just being stupid by not going for it.”

“You really think he likes me back?” It was the first time he had admitted his feels to a friend.

“I think so, I think he’s just nervous.” She shrugs.

“This whole thing has been really confusing. You were the first girl I ever really liked, and I like him too, so…”

“My oldest sister deals with the same thing.”

“She does?!”

“Yeah! She came out to us earlier this year, she said she’s bi.”

“And your parents were cool with it?”

“Sure, they were just happy she felt comfortable enough to say how she was feeling.”

“Wow.”

“See? It’s way more common than you think.” The song ends and they let go of each other. “And, just for the record, you were the first boy I ever really liked too, and I’m happy I get to say Andy Styles was my first boyfriend.” She kisses his cheek and he smiles. “I have to use the ladies room, I’ll be back.”

“What was that about?” Brandon asks Andy as he and Tyler step closer.

“Nothing.” He shrugs.

“Are you back together?”

“No, she just kissed my cheek, uh, thanking me for the dance. It’s no big deal, B.”

Brandon nods and they all start dancing again. You and Harry sit for a bit to rest your feet, and to munch on some bread. You notice that Lauren and Greg have been pretty chatty.

“Think anything’s going to happen between those two?” You nod over to them.

“Wouldn’t put it past her.” Harry scoffs. “I bet she was hoping I wouldn’t be here with someone.” Alright, so he was a little drunk, and that statement just slipped.

“Why’s that?”

“Hm? Oh, I don’t know.” He shakes his head and you narrow your eyes at him. “What?”

“Harry if you used to hook up with her you can just say so, it was, like, fifteen years ago…”

“You make me sound so old.” He pouts. “Alright, yeah, we used to hook up, but it wasn’t serious, and we kept it quiet, not wanting to disrupt our circle of friends. She’s just one of those people that you think is really sweet and wholesome, and then she’s not. I didn’t like it.” He stands back up and puts his hand out to you. “Come on, let’s go dance some more.”

“Okay.” You take his hand and go back out to the dancefloor. Another slow starts and you happily wrap your arms around Harry’s neck. “I take back what I said earlier, this really is the best kind of dancing.”

He smiles at you and then leans in for a kiss. Your lips press together and then you both sigh as you dance. Andy takes a deep breath and goes over to Brandon who was sitting down, drinking some water. Tyler and Caroline had been picked up to go home already. Brandon’s parents wouldn’t be there to pick him up until a little later.

“Hey.” Andy says to him.

“Hey, my parents are on their way.”

“Oh…so you don’t wanna dance?” He rubs the back of his neck.

“To this song?” Brandon stands up and puts his hands in his pockets. “A little slow, don’t you think?”

“I’m okay with the tempo.”

“There’s a lot of people around…”

“We could go outside, I’m gonna walk you out anyways.”

“Okay.”

Andy and Brandon go outside the tent. There were a few people out there having smoke breaks and just a breather from dancing. They go to the side where things are a little more secluded.

“How…how should we do this?” Andy asks.

“We could just hug and sway back and forth.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” The boys hug and start swaying back and forth. Andy’s heart was racing like never before. “I’m really glad you didn’t go to camp this summer.” Andy says and they stop to look at each other.

“You are?”

“Yeah.” He smiles at his friend.

Brandon daintily cups one of Andy’s cheeks, and Andy closes his eyes. Just as Brandon leans in his phone goes off. He sighs and presses his forehead to Andy’s for a moment before getting his phone out of his pocket and letting Andy go.

“Hello?” He says obviously annoyed. “Yeah, I’m ready, are you here? Okay…I’m down at the tent, I’ll wait outside for you.” He hangs up. “My dad’s, uh, gonna come get me out here, so…”

“Right.” Andy nods. “How long do you think he’ll be?”

“He said five minutes.”

“Alright, well, I’ll wait out here with you.”

“Thanks.” The boys walk close to the entrance of the tent to wait for Brandon’s dad.

“Brandon?”

“Yeah?”

“Were you going to kiss me?”

“Yeah, I was.” Andy’s face flushes as he looks at his friend. “Got sort of interrupted.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Maybe another time, though?”

Andy smiles at him and nods yes. Mr. Stewart comes to the tent and the boys say goodbye. Andy goes back inside and heads to the dancefloor with you and Harry.

“There you are!” You exclaim. “They’re gonna do the cha cha slide.”

“Great!” The song starts and Harry watches a ton of you follow along with the steps of the song. “Come on, Dad!”

“Fine!” Harry jumps in and follows along as well.

It ended up being a great night despite some of the awkwardness. You get your shoes on, but they sting. You contemplate just walking out barefoot, but you could easily step on broken glass outside, so you decide against it.

“All set?” Harry says to you. “Just confirmed with Paige. The kids will get dropped off in a couple of days, and then we’re headed to the cabin.”

“Perfect. It’s gonna be a great week away.”

You both say goodnight to Andy, who was about ready to pass out from all the dancing he did. Him and Rachel head up to the house.

“So, how were things with Brandon?” She asks him.

“Good…we danced together outside the tent.”

“Oh, how was that?!” She squeals.

“Shh, do you want the neighbors to hear? It was fine.” He smiles. “Just fine.”

Harry gets the two of you home, and you give him a devious grin as you get inside. He raises his eyebrows at you as if to ask if you’re not too tired, but you wink and start walking towards the bedroom.

“Feeling a little frisky, eh?” He asks as he takes his suit jacket off.

“Mhm, you looked so sexy tonight, and watching you dance really did it for me.”

“Oh, yeah?” He pulls you close to him.

“Yeah.”

You press your lips to his, and swipe your tongue along his bottom lip. He opens up for you and your tongue molds to his. He reaches behind you to unzip your dress, and it falls to the floor, pooling at your feet. Your hands work to unbutton his dress-shirt, and you push it off his shoulders. Next you get his pants undone and he leads you over to the bed. He shimmies out of his trousers and gets on the bed with you. You get between his legs and tug his boxers down. You kiss his tip and he hisses from the sensation. You lick up and down his shaft before wrapping your lips around him. You bob up and down slowly and look up at him.

“That’s so good, baby.” You raise your eyebrows at him while your tongue runs over his slit. “You’re a good girl, Y/N.”

Your eyes flutter closed, and you continue to suck on him how he likes, drool dripping down your chin. You don’t suck on him for too much longer since you want him to fuck you. You crawl up his body and grind your covered center over him. He unhooks your bra and kisses on your chest. He rolls ones of your nipples between his teeth and your head falls back.

“I need to get these off.” You grunt and get your panties off. You grab his length and line it up with yourself. “Okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll just pull out.”

You nod and sink down him. Your mouth falls open as he stretches every inch of you. You grip his shoulders and move yourself up and down.

“You got this wet just from sucking on me?” He grunts as he grips your hips to help move you back and forth.

“Can’t help it when I’m doing that and you call me a good girl, Harry.” You peck his lips. “It’s so hot.” You move to suck on his neck, and he presses you as close to him as possible.

You move in sync with each other, and you grind against him in the perfect way. You start breathing heavier as you feel yourself getting closer. You breathlessly tell him to keep going. You tighten around him as you come undone around his hard dick.

“Shit, fuck, Y/N!”

“Oof!”

He had to toss you off of him so he wouldn’t come inside you, leaving quite the mess on his lower stomach and thighs.

“Sorry, are you alright?”

“Yeah.” You giggle and prop yourself up on your elbows. “Are you? Normally you can hold it a little longer.”

“Not when you tighten up like that, Jesus…” He sighs and looks down at himself.

“I’ll go get a rag.” You get off the bed and go into the bathroom to grab a washcloth and run it under some warm water.

You come back and clean him up. He smiles up at you and you lean down to kiss him.

“We need to be more careful.” He says as you get into bed with him. “Just suck it up and use the condom, you know?”

“I know.” You sigh. “It just feels so good.” You pout at him.

“I know, darling, but you said you didn’t want to get pregnant until you have your doctorate. I’d feel terrible if it happened, and you got really stressed out…”

“Harry, if it happens it happens. It would be stressful, but plenty of women do it all the time. Now’s not the most ideal time, but I can’t tell you how excited I get when I think of carrying your baby sometimes.” You bite your bottom lip as you look at him.

“Don’t even fucking tempt me, Y/N, you know I’d put one in you now if you really wanted it.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” You kiss him quickly before turning over. “Soon, I promise.”

//

A week with Andy and Rachel at the cabin was interesting to say the least. Watching their dynamic was fascinating. They really did act like brother and sister. They’d bicker one minute and be laughing the next. He showed her how to use the jet skis, and they built sand castles together. Your family came up, and it made it ten times more fun for your birthday. Your parents even stay in to watch the kids so you, Harry, Phil, and Julian can all go out to a bar to celebrate. You couldn’t believe you were already twenty-eight. It was hard to feel old, though, when you could still have such a great time dancing and drinking. The day of your actual birthday you all enjoy some cake, and a few gifts.

Andy was back home with you and Harry now that it was just about the middle of August. It was nice having him home, it was too quiet without him, even if you did enjoy the alone time with Harry. Andy loved all of the changes that were made to the house. He had kept what happened with Brandon, or what almost happened with Brandon, to himself. He just wanted to keep that moment for himself. The Ariana Grande concert wouldn’t be until November, but Andy was already talking to you about outfit choices for the meet and greet.

“I just got back, and you’re leaving for a week?” Andy asks you at dinner when you tell him about your trip to California.

“Yeah, I have a conference to go to, I’ll be back before you know it.” You smile. “You’re gonna have some nice quality time with Dad.”

“Yeah, we’re gonna have a lot of fun.”

“Mhm, I can’t wait to go back to school shopping with you and Mum.” Andy rolls his eyes.

“That’s a day that should be way more fun that it is, and we’re not doing that until after Y/N gets back. We’ll have another pot painting day.” Harry takes a bite of his dinner. “I was thinking we could go to the pottery paint place, though. Have a little father-son date.”

“Ew, don’t call it a date, Dad.”

You burst out laughing. You’d miss your boys over the next week.

//

“Dad, can we do the pottery thing another time, Brandon invited me to go to the skate park tomorrow.” Andy says to Harry the night before they’re supposed to go to the pottery place.

“Oh, well, you can go skateboarding with him any time, can’t you? Or even afterwards?”

“Why can’t we just go paint another day?”

“I was sort of looking forward to spending the time with you.” Harry frowns. “We haven’t done much just the two of us in a while.”

“That’s because you spend all your free time with Y/N.” Andy smirks and sits down on the couch with Harry.

“Not true, we do stuff as the three of us. I feel like you like spending time with her more than me.”

“That’s not true! I guess I can go skateboarding with B another day.”

“I don’t wanna go tomorrow if it’s gonna be a force for you.”

“It won’t be. It’ll be fun.” He looks at Harry. “She’s only been gone two days, you know?”

“I’m aware.”

“So, she’ll be back in another three. It’ll go by quick.”

“I just feel bad that she has to go right from the airport to our faculty meeting.” He sighs. “But I suppose it’s all going to work out perfectly.”

“Yeah, she’s gonna be really surprised.”

//

Spending a week in California was amazing. You felt like your old independent self. It was nice to explore in the evenings, and you got a lot out of the sessions you attended. You had a ton of new ideas for your classes and for your paper. You spoke to Harry when you could. The three hour time difference was much more manageable than the six hour one like when he was in London.

You were happy with the tan you managed to get out there, and did your best to sleep on the plane home so you weren’t totally exhausted. You take the bus back to town, and load your things up in your car and drive over to the university. You managed to freshen up at the airport, and you texted Harry updates so he knew when to expect you. What you refrained from telling him was that you were going to stop by your office quickly just to open it up and let it get some fresh air from the window. You also needed to grab your spare laptop charger.

There was something you liked about the quiet before the semester started. It was like the calm before an incredible storm. You were feeling extremely prepared for this semester. It would be your third year teaching at the university, and you were feeling really good about it. You key into your office and set something down.

“Well, if it isn’t my not so new neighbor.”

“Jesus!” You nearly jump out of your shoes. Even though you knew Harry’s voice well, he still found ways to scare the shit out of you. You sigh and turn around. “And to think I was…excited…to…see…you…” Your eyes widen when you see him down on one knee with a small velvet box in one hand, and a shit eating grin on his face. “How…how did you know I’d come here first?” Your eyes start to water.

“Because I know you very well, come here.” You step towards him and take his free hand in yours. You were shaking. “Are you gonna be okay?” You nod your head yes. “Good, because we don’t have a ton of time before our meeting.” You chuckle slightly at that. “Still excited to see me?”

“Yes.” You whisper.

“Do you know what’s in this little box?”

“I have an idea.”

“I truthfully never thought I’d be buying another one of these for someone. I…I didn’t think I deserved to have someone love me the way that you do, but I know now that I do. Sometimes I’d wonder why things didn’t work out the way I thought were supposed to, but I realized that everything I went through was just part of my journey to you, Y/N.” You cough out a nervous giggle as you had tears running down your cheeks. “I was trying to think of the perfect moment or place for this, and nothing felt better than the place we first met and became friends. Plus, I knew you’d nearly shit yourself.” He smirks and you shake your head. “So, with all that being said, and may I remind you I don’t care about how long we’re engaged for because I know your doctorate comes first…will you marry me?” He opens the small box and you gasp at the ring. It was stunning, beyond stunning.

“Yes, oh my god, yes!” Your hand was shaking terribly, but he manages to slip the ring on.

He stands up and swings you around in his arms. He slots his mouth over yours, and you almost forget where you are until you hear a bottle pop.

“Woo! Congratulations!” Janette says with a freshly opened bottle of champagne. Lisa, Mateo, Lucas, Andre, and Sandra all come out as well. “You should have seen your face, Y/N.” She chuckles.

“You guys!” You laugh and go to hug your colleagues. “You all knew?”

“All Harry said was that we should wait upstairs and to bring champagne, we just assumed.” Lisa says as she holds out some cups for Janette to pour the champagne in.

“Where’s Andy?” You ask him as you take a sip.

“At Brandon’s.”

“Did he know?”

“What are you, new? Who do you think helped me design the ring?” He smirks and nudge his shoulder. “We’ll celebrate with him tonight when we get back from dinner, there’s an ice cream cake in the freezer just waiting to be eaten.”

You all chat about the excitement before you need to actually go through the things you needed to in your faculty meeting. It was hard to concentrate, though. You wanted to call your parents, your brother, your friends; everyone! Not to mention the ring itself was distracting. You weren’t expecting something quite so…large. Then again, Harry was the gaudy ring type, so it shouldn’t be that surprising that he went all out.

“You two should go home to be with Andy to celebrate.” Lisa says. “We can all go down to the pub another time.”

“No, it’s alright, he’ll probably be annoyed if we pick him up too early from his friend’s.” Harry says.

“I actually wouldn’t mind going home...had a six hour flight earlier, you know?”

“Shit, you’re right. No one minds waiting a few days?”

“Not at all.” Janette says. “Let’s just all meet up Friday, it’ll be more fun.”

You drive separately back to the house, and Harry helps you get your things inside. You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him. You suck on his bottom lip and he moans into you.

“This is why you wanted to come back, huh?” He smirks.

“You’re not the only one that’s good at being sneaky.”

You couldn’t feel luckier than you do now, to be engaged to the absolute love of your life.  

[purrincess-chat]

Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s Spite Playlist: Remix CH11

And here the plot thickens! There’s a lot coming up in this next section that I hope you will all love. I’ve spent the most time in this middle portion, and I’m really happy with a lot of the character arcs coming up. Enjoy!

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Chapter 11: Rain on Me

“It’s not much, but…”

Tall columns stretched up to the ceiling on either side of the grand staircase, and Marinette’s reflection beamed back at her in the tile. The foyer was bright and airy—a stark contrast to the duller hues of Adrien’s house. Macy’s home was grand but also inviting.

Eliott shoved Macy playfully. “I’ll say. My foyer is much bigger.”

Macy shoved him back, sticking out her tongue. “C’mon, I’ll show you my room.” She bounced up the stairs cheerfully, leading them to the door at the end of the hall. “This whole wing is mine actually. I’ve got a movie theater, a private bathroom—I even have my own sound studio.”

“I’ve begged my father to build a theater, but he doesn’t like the idea of having a lot of teenagers in his house,” Adrien said with a hint of envy. “Do you mind if I take a look?”

“You can look at whatever you want,” Macy giggled.

Martin and Eliott exchanged looks.

“I’ll go with them.” Martin followed them up the hall.

“Marinette, come check out the closet. Macy’s handbag collection is to die for.” Eliott took her hand and pulled her into Macy’s room. “Julius, can you bring us up some tea? Set it up on the terrace.”

Macy’s butler nodded politely before retreating from the room.

“You’re really comfortable here,” Marinette remarked as Eliott threw open the closet doors.

"Macy and I grew up together. We've been friends forever, so it's almost like I live here too," he said, sifting through a rack of designer dresses. "We're basically family."

"That's so awesome. I wish I had someone like that," Marinette said. She examined the photos hanging on Macy's vanity, smiling young faces that were all too familiar. "Who's the girl in these pictures? She looks a lot like you. Is she your sister?"

Eliott stopped, cautiously crossing the room to stand beside her. He shoved his hands into his pockets and frowned. "No, that's me.”

Marinette's eyebrows raised. "Oh. Oh. Okay." She nodded, turning back to the pictures awkwardly.

"Is that okay?" Eliott asked.

"Of course."

Eliott relaxed, trailing his thumb over the edge of the photo. "I started transitioning the summer before collége. I’m lucky that my family is so supportive," he explained. “Not many people at school know besides Macy—just a few teachers. I’m always a bit scared to tell new people because I don’t know how they’ll react, and even though we haven’t known each other that long, I trust you, Marinette.”

"Um, thank you for telling me." She clasped her hands together. “It means a lot to know you see me that way. After everything… I needed friends like you and Macy.”

"I should be thanking you. I’ve changed for the better every day since I met you. I can tell you have that effect on people,” he said. “Besides, it's who I am, and I don’t want to hide it from my friends. It’s just… not everyone is so understanding.”

"Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me,” Marinette said. Her cheeks warmed when Eliott scooped her into a tight hug.

Things in her life were so different now. Different school, different people, but deep down, Marinette was still the same. Loving her friends wasn’t a bad thing. Alya may have turned her back on their friendship, but that didn’t mean that everyone in her life would. Eliott’s confidence in her was proof enough that these people would stay by her side.

“You two can go ahead out to the terrace,” Macy’s voice sounded in the hall, and a moment later, she appeared in the doorway. “Did you show her my limited-edition handbag collection?” She leaned against the frame with a knowing look.

“Yeah, she thinks they’re great.” Eliott winked.

“Good,” Macy said. “We don’t let just anyone see them, so you should feel honored.”

“I do. Moving to a new school was really hard, so I’m glad to have made such good friends so quickly,” Marinette said. “You’ve both changed my life too.”

“Aww,” Macy and Eliott cooed.

Eliott lifted her hand to his lips. “Don’t worry. From now on, we’re here for you, Marinette.”

“Yeah, you’re one of us now.”

♪♫♪ The Wrecked and the Worried ♪♫♪

“Thanks for taking me home,” Marinette said as Gorilla pulled out onto the street. “Macy lives so far away from my house.”

Adrien smiled at her, the warmth from his chest spreading to his cheeks. Marinette was so much happier with her new friends. Seeing her face light up when she laughed at one of Eliott’s jokes, or the slight furrow in her brow when Macy waved 2000 euros away like it was pocket change set his mind at ease.

The more distance Marinette put between her and Francoise-Dupont, the happier she became, and the more Lila’s threats lost their bite. Out of everyone in their class, he had always been drawn to Marinette. Maybe it was her courage or her compassionate nature that he admired so much or maybe her optimistic attitude. She’d lost everything because of Lila, and yet, she’d still managed to pick up the pieces and find happiness again.

In such a short time, he’d become so protective of her. He never wanted that smile to fade or those brilliant bluebell eyes to dim. More than anything, he wanted her to be free from the past, and he’d do anything to help her get there. Marinette deserved the best—she shared her light freely all the time and never asked for anything in return, so now he was going to do the same for her.

“It’s no trouble. I’m happy that I get to spend time together with just you,” he said. “Your new friends are really nice.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about Macy. She just gets really excited.” Marinette winced.

“It’s okay,” he chuckled. “Your designs look amazing so far.”

Her cheeks darkened three shades. “I dunno about that. They’re still pretty messy…Clara probably won’t like them.”

“Why not? You’re really talented. I’m sure she will love them.” He assured her.

“Thanks, I guess. I’m just so nervous about it.” She hugged her bag to her chest and bit her lip. “I still can’t believe I have an opportunity like this right now. It’s always been my dream to be a designer, but I pictured it as something I wouldn’t achieve until I was older. I feel so under-qualified.”

“You’re already a great designer, Marinette, and people are starting to see that,” he said. “You shouldn’t be so modest.”

“I know, but I can’t help it,” she said. “I don’t want to brag or seem full of myself.”

“I don’t think anyone thinks you’re full of yourself. It’s not wrong to brag every once in a while, especially for someone as incredible as you.” He placed his hands on her shoulders and offered her a warm smile. “We’re all just proud of you, and we want you to be proud of yourself. You deserve it.”

Marinette bit back a smile, cheeks pink and eyes shining in the dim light. How had he gotten so lucky to meet someone like her? She was so smart and driven and kind. Unlike Lila. Marinette was going to change the world for real someday—Clara was just step one.

“Well, looks like this is me,” she said as the limo slowed to a stop. “Thanks again for the ride.”

“You’re welcome, anytime.” Adrien pulled her in for a hug, kissing both of her cheeks. “See you soon.”

“See you!”

Adrien leaned back against the seat with a sigh, drumming his fingers as the limo pulled away. Lila needed to be stopped at all costs. If she got in the way of Marinette’s future, he’d never forgive her. He hated to admit it, but after his conversation with Nino and Alya, he’d officially run out of nice options. Lila would continue to use people for as long as she could unless they did something. Unless he did something.

Conflict made his skin crawl, but he owed this to Marinette. If he hadn’t been so complaisant, she wouldn’t have changed schools. She and Alya might still be friends, and he could even see Nino outside of class now. This was all his fault.

Granted, if she had stayed, she may not have the same opportunities now, and she never would have met her new friends. There was some good that had come of this. He couldn’t change the past, but he would make sure Marinette had a bright future—one devoid of Lila and her lies.

“Can we stop by the Grand Paris?” he asked, and after a small huff, the limo changed course. “Thank you!”

When Adrien arrived at Chloe’s suite, she was dressed in a silk robe with a green face mask and cucumbers over her eyes. Several stylists worked on her nails, and although she couldn’t see him, she knew the moment he approached.

“Did you come for a mani-pedi?” she asked.

He shifted his weight. “You told me to come back when I was ready to take down Lila, and… I’m ready.”

“Why should I help you? You didn’t help me when I needed you.” Chloe opened her mouth, and her butler placed a small chocolate on her tongue with a pair of tongs.

“Because we’re friends, and I know you’d do anything for me,” he said. When she opened her mouth for another chocolate, undeterred, he added, “because I know you still sleep with your teddy bear.”

A wicked grin curled on her lips, cracking the half-dried, green paste on her face. “Blackmailing me, Adrikins? I’m impressed. You really have come a long way.”

“Please, Chloe? I’ve tried talking to Alya and Nino. I’ve tried convincing Lila to change. I know I screwed up before, but there has to be something else we can do to stop her.” Adrien dropped to his knees, pressing his palms together. “I’m literally begging.”

Chloe hummed thoughtfully to herself while she chewed another chocolate. “How is Dupain-Cheng these days?” she asked.

Adrien’s heart jumped to his throat. “She’s fine, and I want to keep it that way.”

Chloe’s lip twitched, and she sat up abruptly. Her staff scrambled to remove the cucumbers from her eyes as she stood up to meet Adrien’s gaze head-on. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were in love with her. Why else do you care so much about Lila other than the fact that she’s tarnishing Marinette’s reputation?”

“She’s just a friend, and I don’t want Lila to turn everyone against her,” Adrien insisted.

Chloe rolled her eyes. “Even I don’t believe you when you say that anymore, Adrikins.” She turned and waddled carefully to the bathroom, the bottom of her robe trailing the ground. “Lila might lie to others, but you lie to yourself. I can’t decide which is more painful to watch.”

“Chloe-”

She paused in the doorway and looked over her shoulder. “I will think of something to help you with Lila if it’s so important to you,” she said. “Now, I’ve got a date with a hot bubble bath, so beat it.”

“Thank you, Chloe-”

“Out!” She pointed to the door.

Adrien scurried from her suite, mashing the elevator button repeatedly. He pictured Marinette’s smiling face from that afternoon contrasted against her anguished sobs from only a few days before. Lila would pay for those tears, and Adrien would make sure she never caused them again. He’d protect Marinette Dupain-Cheng, no matter the cost.

♪♫♪ Runaways ♪♫♪

“See you tomorrow!” Marinette waved to Macy and Eliott outside Martin’s apartment a few nights later.

“Are you sure you don’t want a ride?” Macy gestured to Eliott’s open limo.

“Yeah, I’ll manage. The subway isn’t too far from here, and it’s out of your way,” she insisted.

Eliott pursed his lips but didn’t press. “Alright then. See you tomorrow.” He blew her a kiss.

Marinette started up the street alone, enjoying a brief moment of solitude. After changing schools in the middle of the term, she was in need of a good study session, and her new friends were more than happy to oblige. Martin’s ritzy apartment building was smaller than Macy and Eliott’s sprawling mansions, but still far more luxurious than Marinette’s home.

“For having so much, your new friends are surprisingly generous.” Tikki peeked out from her purse.

“Just because they’re rich doesn’t mean they’re not nice people. Look at Adrien. He’s the nicest person I know.” She sighed dreamily before snapping herself out of it. “Martin, Macy, and Eliott have become people I can really count on. I owe them a lot for embracing me the way they have.”

“Do you think they’re worthy replacements for Rena Rouge and Carapace?” Tikki asked.

Marinette pursed her lips with a hum. “Time will tell. I want to be absolutely certain this time. No more mistakes.”

“Oh my gosh, hey!” A strangely familiar voice cooed.

Marinette stopped short, turning over her shoulder as an arm snaked through her own and tugged. Red hair blurred her vision until bright green eyes locked with hers.

“Wow, what are the odds that we’d run into each other. It’s so awesome to see you.”

Marinette’s eyebrows furrowed as Gabrielle dragged her further up the street. Her tight grip stretched Marinette’s shoulders painfully, but something in her voice seemed off. It was familiar and friendly, which was already puzzling enough, but Marinette also detected a hint of…fear?

“Gabrielle, what’s-”

“There are some creepy guys following me, play along, and I’ll leave you alone for a month,” she hissed. “So, what are you up to?”

Marinette grasped her forearm, giving the illusion of familiarity, even if it was to keep her shoulder from popping out of socket. “Uh, just out and about.”

“Hey, we should see a movie next week.” Gabrielle picked up the pace as they rounded a corner.

Marinette struggled to keep up with her long legs. “Yeah, totally!” She used a parked car to catch a glimpse of their assailants in the reflection. “Do you wanna take the subway with me?”

“We need to shake them off first,” Gabrielle said under her breath.

Marinette pressed her lips together, then nodded. “Follow me.”

Gabrielle arched a brow as Marinette took the lead, veering toward the park across the street. She cut diagonally across to the other exit, stealing a glance over her shoulder as they turned another corner. They were still being followed, their assailants picking up speed to match their pace. Marinette checked the time on her phone, abruptly darting across the street to the next block.

“Do you know where we’re going?” Gabrielle asked through clenched teeth.

“Trust me,” Marinette said.

Gabrielle eyed her skeptically but didn’t argue. Marinette pictured the route in her head, imagining the overhead view. She knew this city better than anyone, and as she ducked around one more corner, she finally made the plunge down into the subway. Gabrielle tensed, but Marinette grabbed her wrist and picked up the pace. They slid onto the subway car just before the doors closed, watching smugly as their pursuers slowed to a stop at the base of the stairs just as the train pulled off.

“Thanks.” Gabrielle averted her gaze stubbornly. “You didn’t have to help me.”

“I know,” Marinette said. She grabbed onto the pole as Gabrielle pulled out her phone and resumed ignoring her. “So, what are you doing out walking? Don’t you have a chauffeur?”

“None of your business.”

Marinette’s eyes narrowed on the apron sticking out of her bag, and Gabrielle shifted to hide it. Something weird was going on with her, but Gabrielle was right—it wasn’t any of her business. They were safe, and that was all that mattered.

“I can make it home from here,” Gabrielle said when the train stopped at the next station. “Thanks again.”

“You’re welcome…” Marinette leaned against the pole with a frown as Gabrielle stalked from the car.

“That was odd,” Tikki said from Marinette’s collar.

“Yeah,” Marinette said when the doors slid shut again. “Really odd.”

[abbysfrenchbraid]

Little Harbor - Beach Day Part 2

Thank you all for the lovely feedback on my writing so far, it means so much to me. I’ve decided that the Beach Day Imagine needed a Part 2 and spent last night manically writing 6.6k words of fluff, angst and semi smut.

In this part, Abby and the reader finally make their trip to Little Harbor and spend the night at the cabin there. The reader finds out they don’t know everything about Abby and there are some things in her past that still weigh heavily on her mind. 

TW for death/loss (Seattle plot for the Salt Lake Squad), light nudity, language and mention of suicide and mention of blood

This ist the playlist I curated for this fic. Make sure you disable shuffle and listen to the songs in order for them to fit! (It’s called Little Harbor on Spotify and has a picture of Abby in the thumbnail)

Little Harbor

The last few days had been a blur of happiness and secrecy. Stolen kisses in empty hallways, sitting next to each other in the cafeteria with your knees touching, sunsets in the watchtower staircase, and sweaty hugs whenever you picked up Abby after her morning training. It was clear to you by now that there was no going back and no stopping this. You were absolutely, hopelessly falling for the tall blonde soldier and she actually seemed to feel the same, which was still unbelievable to you.

Abby had taken up work with some of the combat and strategy trainers, educating them on the different groups she had encountered on her journey and on their territory, tactics, and relationships with each other. Lev had come in to explain more about the Seraphites, their whistle language, and their infrastructure. Even though it was unlikely that the Seraphites or WLF would come knocking at the Fireflies’ door, they still wanted to know as much as possible about the current state of the world.

The Rattlers were a different story altogether. Lev refused to speak about them and even though Abby had told the Firefly leaders about them as soon as she was conscious after her emergency surgeries, there was still much to talk about. She tried as hard as she could to remember every little detail and she got incredibly frustrated with herself when she found gaps in her memory even though that wasn’t her fault. The torture and mistreatment at the hands of these bastards had been so immensely traumatizing that her mind refused to let her remember the worst parts.

While the past few days with her had been all fun and exciting, the evenings had been more difficult and it had taken a lot of strength from both of you to get through this together. Abby was just learning to confide in you and talk about her feelings while you struggled with being there for her the right way, having never experienced anything close to the terror she must have felt. After the first day in the strategy room, Abby had knocked on your door just as you were about to go to bed and practically fallen apart in your arms. The Fireflies had decided to send a few teams back to Santa Barbara to see if there were any survivors and capture or help the people they found, depending on their previous alliance. They had offered Abby to go back with them, which she declined, and made it clear that she had to try to identify every single person they brought back.

You just hoped that the only people left there were the other prisoners who had freed themselves. It would be horrifying to know that some of the torturers could soon be sitting somewhere in this very building, practically at arm’s reach from Abby and Lev.

Although the others had advised her not to, Abby had told Lev about all the plans and tasks to come and he had agreed to help identifying people but remained silent about his thoughts on all this.

Trying your best to make Abby’s first week as an official Firefly less hard on her, you had organized a mission for you both to go to Little Harbor. You were supposed to check up on the little cabin there, throw out anything that wasn’t necessary and stock it with a few supplies in case someone in the area needed them in the future. The best thing about Little Harbor was the beautiful beach that stretched in a perfect arc and had the most beautiful sunsets you had ever seen.

You had just talked to your friend in admin and gotten the confirmation for the mission. For a second, you debated telling Abby at lunch in an hour but you simply couldn’t wait. Rolling up the note with the assignment on it and shoving it in your back pocket, you rushed toward the east wing of the base, practically jumping with every step.

As you came closer to the strategy room, you heard muffled voices. There seemed to be a heated discussion. You really didn’t want to eavesdrop, but you were already at the door and didn’t feel like you should knock and interrupt them in the middle of their conversation.

“Oh come on, Abby, what are you not telling us? You have to know more about her than that!”

“I’m telling you, I don’t know where they lived and I don’t know where she is now! I met them the first time at the WLF outpost in the middle of nowhere around Seattle and the last time I saw her she was in Santa Barbara. She’s probably dead, anyway, she was injured and all alone.”

She? Who were they talking about? Abby had never told you about a woman in Santa Barbara. Maybe another prisoner?

Someone slammed a hand on the table.

“Jesus Christ, I can’t believe we lost her again after all this time. At least we know Joel paid for what he did at Salt Lake.”

This sparked your attention. You knew Abby had grown up at the Salt Lake outpost before the massacre. Was Joel the guy who killed all the Fireflies there, including the doctors?

“What do you want with her anyway?” That was Abby again. She sounded bitter. “It’s not like we have the means to make a vaccine, Joel made sure of that. You’ll see what she did with the rattlers when you get there. Maybe you’ll find her body, too, and I can finally have some fucking peace.”

There was silence for a brief moment. Then a woman said: “Alright, let’s take a break. The teams are driving out to Santa Barbara tomorrow, then we’ll see what we find. Abby, thank you for everything you’ve told us. Take some time for yourself, I’ll call for you when the reports are in and hopefully a few survivors, too. I’ll see the rest of you after lunch.”

You could hear feet shuffling and chairs being pushed around. Quickly, you tiptoed away from the door and halfway through the corridor, then you turned around just as the door opened. Abby came out first, frowning and with her hands balled into firsts. When she saw you, her face lit up and she relaxed, taking a few big steps towards you and awkwardly coming to a halt in front of you, just a little bit too close.

“Perfect timing, huh?” She smiled at you before nodding to a few others that passed you.

You forced yourself to focus and smiled back.

“Yeah, I came to tell you that our mission is approved. We can leave as soon as possible.”

“Oh, that’s great! Martha just said I could have the day off and probably need to report back in tomorrow night earliest. Should we just pack now and get going after lunch?”

“Good idea. Say we meet in the cafeteria in 15?” you suggested.

Abby nodded. “See you there.”

-

As you packed your backpack, you tried to process what you had just heard. Abby knew the man who had run amok at the Firefly Hospital and apparently he was dead now. There had been another woman in Santa Barbara, and she had something to do with a possible vaccine? You knew the Fireflies had been extremely invested in the search for a vaccine after the outbreak, but they had given up on it a long time ago. Now they just tried to build safe zones without any infected in order to build communities of Fireflies, other survivors, and anyone else who wanted to join you.

Why were the others so keen on finding the other woman? What did Abby have to do with Joel and the massacre at the hospital? And why was this whole thing still affecting her so badly after all those years?

You wanted to try to talk to Abby later and find out what had gone down in Santa Barbara and at Salt Lake, but you also knew she had been waiting for this day to finally come so she could get out of here and distract herself for a while. Who were you to ruin this by forcing her to relive her trauma all over again?

Closing the zipper on your backpack and throwing it over your shoulder, you decided to just take it a step at a time. First, you had to get some food into your stomach.

-

Abby was excited about the trip and spent almost the whole meal asking you questions about the bay and the cabin. She told you she had spent some time in cabins up in Washington with her old WLF crew, but it had been snowing back then and the summer here was just an entirely different experience.

Lev was a bit sad he couldn’t go with you, but you promised him a beach bonfire in the next two weeks. He was way too happy about his new friends and tasks to sulk about your little duo mission. The boy was a fantastic archer and was now tasked with teaching his craft to younger trainees and older soldiers. He was delighted at being taken so seriously by adults for the first time in his life. His lessons at school were going well apparently, he enjoyed history and biology a lot.

Abby was attentively listening to him talking about crop diversification and the produce grown here during the different seasons as a group of fully-equipped soldiers came into the cafeteria. They seemed excited about their mission and were making a ton of noise, jeering and shoving each other around as they picked up their rations for the next two days from the serving counter. Abby and Lev both went quiet, poking around in their food and seeming to be holding their breaths until the squad had left.

Lev suddenly looked up at Abby with tears in his eyes.

“Do you think any of the Rattlers survived?” His voice was high pitched and he sounded like he was about to choke.

“Oh, Lev.” The blonde put her arm around his shoulder, her hands looking huge on his small frame. “I have no idea, I’m so sorry. I’m pretty sure the other prisoners were freed and got their revenge. She also freed some of the walkers in the area. It must have been bad. We’ll just have to wait and see, but I promise they’ll never lay a hand on you ever again.”

There she was again, the mysterious woman. Now you’d at least have a valid reason to bring it up. The boy sighed, then he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and straightened up. He waved over to a few other kids waiting at the exit.

“I need to go. Math class.” He grimaced and you and Abby both had to laugh. No one enjoyed math, but a certain basic knowledge was necessary for everyone here.

“See you tomorrow, Lev. I’ll bring her back safely,” you promised him and Abby rolled her eyes at you, but he gave you a genuinely thankful nod before tapping her shoulder as a goodbye and running over to his friends.

Abby smiled at you, her eyes lighting up as she remembered your plans for the day.

“You ready to go?” she asked, standing up and grabbing her backpack.

“Let’s get out of here.” You put on your backpack as well, took your plates and placed them in a plastic tub next to the counter.

In the empty corridor leading to the garage, Abby snuck her fingers between yours, sending sparks over your skin and making butterflies dance in your stomach. She pulled you toward her and after a quick glance left and right, she gave you a soft peck on the lips. You reacted instantly, burying your fingers in her hair and pulling her in for a second kiss, this time less innocent. Abby chuckled and grabbed your shoulder to push you away just a few inches and look you in the eyes.

You felt yourself blush and rubbed a hand over your eyes.

“Ugh, sorry, I just missed you all morning. Let’s just go.”

Grabbing her hand and pulling her with you, you entered the garage and quickly said hello to your coworkers before checking out the keys and leading Abby to your truck. Your colleagues didn’t lose a single word about the hand-holding and you were thankful for their discretion. They were your closest friends at the base and they knew you’d tell them more as soon as you were ready.

The drive out to the cabin took about an hour, one which you spent in blissful silence. You had rolled the windows down again and just like the last time, the summer air was whirling through the cabin and playing with your hair. Abby let an arm hang out of her window and took in the view of the different hills and forest patches, the beaches, and the beautiful meadows. She looked serene, completely at peace with herself and the world.

When you arrived at the cabin, it was better than you had remembered. The little wooden cottage was still in good shape, firewood was stacked up at the back and there was a small front porch with a perfect view of the bay in front of you. Two wooden chairs and a table stood on the porch, completely grown over with moss.

You fumbled with the keys for a second, then you were inside. All the curtains were drawn, bathing the dusty room in heavy yellow light before you opened them and looked around. Abby was still standing at the doorstep, uncertain of what to do.

The room was perfectly equipped with a little kitchen unit, a table with four chairs, a worn-out striped couch, and a decently sized bed, luckily covered with a big sheet to stop it from getting unbearably dusty. A narrow door in the corner seemed to lead to a bathroom. You put your hands on your hips and turned to Abby.

“Well, what do you think? Too dusty for your liking?”

The blonde snapped out of her astonishment.

“Are you kidding me? Y/N, it’s great! It looks so cozy, I think I’m gonna sleep better than I have for months.” She took a few steps toward you and wrapped her hands around your waist. “Especially when I’m sleeping next to you.”

“Oh, I thought you were gonna take the couch,” you said dryly. Abby’s eyes widened and you could tell she seriously thought she had overstepped until you wrapped your arms around her neck and snorted, immediately receiving a playful push backward that you put up with by holding on to her for dear life.

“You’re an asshole,” she laughed, “I got scared there for a second!” She planted a kiss on your lips and picked you up by your waist, making you squeal.

“I’m sorry, Abby, ahh! Please let me down!” you begged but you had to admit this was fun. The taller woman gently put you back on your feet, then she said: “Come on, let’s get settled here.”

She opened the windows while you tried the tap unsuccessfully before pulling the cover off the bed and revealing buttercup yellow sheets. Sweet. Abby used a towel to wipe the dust off the table before setting her bag on it and offering to take yours as well. She put all the supplies in the kitchen cabinet before announcing that she was going to find you some water.

“When you go outside, there should be a pump on the left side of the house. Make sure to pump for a while until you touch the water, it’s got to be disgusting,” you said as you started sweeping the floor with a broom.

“Yeah, I know how a cistern works, thanks.” She rolled her eyes at you. A minute later, you could hear the squeaking of the old metal pump and the gurgle of water seeing daylight for the first time in years. You put the broom in the corner and wiped your hands on your jeans. The bed looked inviting, but the beach called to you even louder. You could feel that this night would have a lasting impact on your life and your relationship with Abby.

After checking on the roof and the cistern, you made your way down to the beach and spent the afternoon swimming, reading, and chasing each other around. One time Abby actually tackled you too hard and you got sand everywhere - your mouth, your nose, your eyes, even under your bathing suit. Abby couldn’t stop apologizing and telling you how sorry she was and how she underestimated her own strength but you swore vengeance for later and laughed it off. In order to get rid of all the sand underneath your suit, you went into the water and took it off before whirling it around over your head and getting Abby all flustered.

You secretly wanted her to join you, but she seemed to be too timid to go that fast so you put your bathing suit back on and let yourself flop down next to her, purposely splashing water on her and making her squeal as the cold drops hit her hot skin. Following an impulse, you rolled over and on top of her, pressing your cold, wet body on her soft, warm back. This time, she forced herself to stay still and not throw you around again, instead resorting to cursing you and calling you an atrocious little eel, only making you laugh harder.

After a while, she gave up on fighting you and you rested your cheek on her warm shoulder, humming in satisfaction. This was nice. It would be even better when you’d lie next to her in bed.

The afternoon seemed to go on forever, time standing still as you two forgot all your worries and enjoyed living in this little bubble of sun, sea and happiness. Then, finally, the sun hung low over the sea, drenching the world in golden light and painting the water orange and the clouds pink. It was an explosion of light and color, the pure beauty you could only find in nature. Or in the person you loved most.

Looking over at Abby, you saw she was also watching the waves and the clouds, the soft light illuminating the tiny hairs on her face and arms and making the dried salt crystals that stuck to her skin glint like little diamonds. Her dark blonde hair was swaying in the slight breeze and her cheeks had a faint red tinge from the sun. She was mesmerizing.

You moved closer to her and drew your nose along her jawline, breathing on her neck and placing tiny kisses behind her ear and on her temple until she was humming and leaning into your touch. She slowly turned her head and grazed your open mouth with hers before running the tip of her tongue over your upper lip. She opened her eyes.

“This really is the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen. Nothing has ever made me feel like this,” she mumbled without drawing back.

“I’m glad you like it. I’ve been wanting to show it to you for a while.”

“I wish you would have shown me sooner. But I’m really happy you’re doing it now.” She turned her torso towards you and brushed her fingers over your thigh, leaving goosebumps in their wake. You could see the specks of gold in her iris, reflecting the last rays of sunlight and making her look ethereal and otherworldly. Oh god, how in the world had you found her? How had she found you? This was too good to be true, but you wanted to believe that it was, to believe that this moment could last forever.

In a desperate attempt to tell her all this, the beautiful chaos in your heart and your head that started spinning when you were with her, you leaned forward and kissed her. Hard, like you were scared this wasn’t real or it could be your last, then softer when you felt Abby tense up in surprise. She opened her mouth for you and you dragged your tongue against hers, tasting hints of salt and the fruit you had had earlier. You became more confident and placed your hand on her inner thigh which she took in with a gasp before grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you closer, her tongue now more forceful and demanding.

You couldn’t take the space between you any longer and crawled on top of her, straddling her hips as you looked down at her face, her green eyes half-closed and her mouth hanging open. The sun had said its farewells and vanished behind the horizon and the atmosphere created by the dusk suddenly hit you full force. Abby’s face was still softly lit by the pink clouds behind you while the sky behind her was a dark, heavy blue fading to black in the distance. She looked like a fucking painting.

“I’m so glad I found you,“ you whispered, running your fingers through her hair.

Abby answered by wrapping her arms around you and pulling you in. She kissed you with a burning passion, gentle but daring, sweet but hot, encasing you with her body and her mouth and pressing you so close that there wasn’t an inch left between you.

As she moved her hands down your body, pulling your hips closer and caressing your legs, she noticed the goosebumps all over your body and halted for a second.

“Are you cold, baby?”

You wanted to say no, but you had to admit you were starting to shiver under your still slightly damp swimming suit and wet hair, the evening breeze dancing around you and mocking you for getting so lost in the moment that you forgot everything around you.

“I really am,” you sighed, “maybe we could get some blankets and food and start a fire?”

Abby nodded and you struggled to your feet, feeling very naked and small all of a sudden. The blonde noticed your change of behavior and immediately got up next to you. She grabbed your books and towels and wrapped her dry one around your shoulders, rubbing up and down your arms a few times to warm you up before pulling you in for a tight hug.

“Come on, let’s get you inside and warmed up.”

Inside the cabin, Abby managed to light an oil lamp and fill the room with a wonderfully soft, yellow light. She slowly walked toward you and came to a halt right in front of you. Gently, she placed her hands on your shoulders and took the towel, placing it on a chair beside you. Then she hooked a finger under the strap of your swimsuit and slowly pulled it over your shoulder and down your arm, never breaking eye contact. Both of you were breathing heavily, the air between you felt like sirup and the world seemed to stop turning.

You laid a hand on top of Abby’s and moved with her, dragging the strap down your arm to expose a slight tan line and a hard nipple standing out into the cold air. Abby still hadn’t moved her eyes from yours, helping you pull your arm out of the strap and slowly pulling down the other one until your entire chest was bare. You could feel another rush of goosebumps chasing over your entire body while hot blood shot into your face and painted your cheeks in a deep red.

You both took a deep breath simultaneously, then you nodded at the tall woman in front of you. She lowered her eyes to your breasts and let out a shaky breath, then she raised a hand and drew her fingertips over your collarbone, down your ribs, and up between your breasts before brushing over your sensitive nipples and finally using both hands to cup your breasts. She stepped closer and bent her head to kiss you. You melted into her, her hands now all over your body, her hot skin on your cold flesh, and her mouth on yours before attacking your throat, making you throw your head back and let out an ecstatic moan.

Suddenly, Abby’s hands were on your ass and she picked you up effortlessly. You wrapped your legs around her waist and held on to her shoulders as she carried you towards the bed, sitting down on it with you in her lap. You buried your fingers in her hair and pulled on it as you ground your hips forward and kissed along her jaw.

In this moment, you felt something shift inside her. She tensed up, but not in a way that felt right in this situation. You let go of her immediately and leaned back to look at her, scared you had done something wrong or she didn’t want this after all.

“Abby, is everything okay?” you asked, your voice sounding strangely loud and panicky in the silent room.

She kept one hand on the small of your back while rubbing the back of her head with the other.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. It’s just - fuck…” You could see tears welling up in her eyes as she furrowed her brows and tried to keep it together. “You just reminded me of someone. It’s not your fault, you didn’t know. It’s just… you don’t know everything about me yet. Maybe it’s time you did so you can decide if you still want me.”

She averted her eyes and let her hands fall to your thighs. For the second time in minutes, you felt strangely exposed and out of place. You nodded, then you stood up and turned away. It felt like your heart was slowly tearing at the seams and pouring blood into your stomach. Why couldn’t this be easy? What was the secret Abby had kept from you? You couldn’t imagine not wanting her anymore. She was everything you had ever dreamed of, the only person that had ever made you truly happy and it was impossible for you to see a future without her. The thought alone felt like a knife to your stomach.

You quickly pulled a big hooded sweatshirt from your backpack and put it on before taking off the swimsuit and slipping into fresh underwear and linen pants. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Abby getting dressed as well.

“I’m gonna get some wood from the back and start a fire on the beach,” you declared into the silence and rushed out the door without daring to look at Abby.

You piled up the wood on the sand, added some dried grass and small sticks in the middle and lit them with a match. The breeze had died down and the fire started at the first try. Abby came down from the cabin with two plaid blankets, a water bottle, and a small loaf of bread from your provisions. She spread one of the blankets on the ground and motioned for you to sit down, putting the second one around your shoulders when you had settled.

She sat down next to you and took a few gulps of water before handing the bottle to you. You were thankful for the cool liquid soothing your dry throat after the day in the sun and saltwater.

Abby took a deep breath, then she began.

She told you about her life at Salt Lake, growing up among the Fireflies, about her father, the surgeon, and the search for a vaccine. They had heard there was a girl who was immune and on her way to them, but only a few people believed it, her dad among them. When the day finally came, she had been out training with her boyfriend Owen and upon her arrival at the base, everyone was talking about the girl and the surgery her father was about to perform on her in order to try to develop a vaccine. There was an actual chance of salvation; everyone was enthusiastic.

Then the shooting had happened. Joel, the man who had brought the girl had suddenly changed his mind and abducted the girl straight from the operating table. He had shot everyone in his way. When Abby ran to find her father, it had been too late. Joel had killed him and with him the last chance of making a vaccine. Abby’s world had been destroyed in a matter of minutes.

That day, she had sworn vengeance. She had started training even harder than before and followed every tip she got to find Joel. The Fireflies had crumbled and she and a small group of friends had joined the WLF. Abby had broken up with Owen and everyone but her had given up on vengeance, but one day she had found Joel and his brother Tommy. She had brought them to the cabin where she was staying with her crew and she had killed Joel. An eye for an eye.

What she hadn’t expected was the young woman turning up at the last second to inevitably watch Joel die. They had left her and Tommy there and seen the matter as dealt with.

Then, suddenly, Abby’s friends had been killed one by one. This was at the same time she had met Lev and helped him flee from the Seraphites. In Seattle, she had come face to face with Ellie, the immune girl from way back and the woman who had watched Joel, her father figure, die at the hands of Abby. She had been the one to kill Abby’s crew trying to find her. Abby however had defeated her and Tommy once more and warned them not to come after her again.

Months after, just as they had made first contact with the Catalina Fireflies, Abby and Lev had been captured by the Rattlers and were tortured for weeks. One day, Ellie had turned up there and helped them escape before challenging Abby to one last fight to the death, threatening to kill Lev if Abby wouldn’t do it. They had fought a gruesome battle, both sustaining terrible wounds before Ellie had given up and let Abby and Lev go.

Abby didn’t know where she was now and if she had survived, and she didn’t care. She knew why Ellie had pursued her and she knew Ellie understood her reasons, too. Still, the loss they had suffered at the hands of the other was unbearable. Abby had lost everyone she had ever trusted or shared good memories with to horrific deaths and there would never be justice. She would never get them back and she would never understand why all this had to happen.

By the end of her story, Abby was sobbing. You had wrapped your blanket around the both of you and your hand lay on her thigh, but you didn’t dare to make closer contact. You didn’t know what to think of all this. What a waste. What a terrible, devastating tragedy. How horrible to suffer this much and have no one to blame, nothing to do with all the pain and grief.

Abby wiped her eyes with the corner of the blanket.

“I think, if I hadn’t found Lev, I wouldn’t have made it. I would have let her kill me. What was there to live for after everything that had happened?”

The thought of Abby dying was the final pull that ripped your heart to shreds. You pressed both of your hands to your chest to assure yourself you were okay, panting heavily as you tried to find something to say. There was nothing you could offer that would make this hell better for her. The realization was crushing.

You both sat in silence for a few minutes while Abby tried to calm her breathing and you tried to calm your thoughts. Finally, you broke the silence.

“I’ve loved Lev from the minute I met him and I’m so thankful he’s here.”

What you wanted to say, wanted to scream into the flames, was that you had loved Abby since the second you saw her, that she had your heart, that this was fucking confusing but didn’t change your feelings for her and that you would never give up on trying to be with her.

“That little boy has the biggest heart I’ve ever seen. He’s been through so much and he had to grow up in the span of a few months, but when I see him smile or hear him laugh or talk about fucking sustainable agriculture” - she had to laugh through a veil of tears - “I know it was all worth it. Every fight, every day in that godforsaken cell, every bullet. He’s my reason.”

Fuck it. It was better to tell her right now than to suffer the uncertainty any longer.

“Abby, I honestly don’t know what to say. I can’t even begin to perceive the horrors you’ve been through and I’m not going to act like I even remotely understand how you feel. What I do know is this: there is no one to blame in this whole terrible web of tragedy. What matters is that it’s over and that you now have the chance to live a life without constant danger and death and disaster. And I’m going to be at your side every day, no matter how long it takes for you to accept safety and peace and maybe even happiness into your life, even if it takes you forever. I have never felt the way I feel with you, I didn’t even know it was possible to love someone this deeply. I understand that you’re far away sometimes and I know there is still a lot of distance between us and you don’t have to reciprocate any of this, but I just want you to know . Know you are loved, know you have a place here, and know I will do everything in my power to help you through this.”

Abby’s eyes had gone wide at your monologue and she seemed completely blindsided by your confession. How had she not seen this coming? Did she seriously think she was just some fling to you? A little summer fun? What was she thinking?

The blonde stared into the fire, contemplating and kneading her fingers.

“Today was the first time I didn’t think of them for several hours. Ever since we arrived, I just tucked it all away in a corner of my mind and decided I could be sad tomorrow because today, with you, I would be happy.”

You held your breath and waited for her to continue, not daring to move or say a word.

“And I really was. Happy, you know? And you’re different, too. Owen was there for me so I was there for him. It just turned out I didn’t care for him as much as he did for me. And that really, really fucking sucks to know now that he’s gone. But I can’t change it. All I know is that I’ve never cared for anyone as much as I care for you. You’re constantly on my mind and I get irritated and impatient when I haven’t seen you for too long, usually meaning only a couple hours, which is a little pathetic if I gotta be honest.”

She looked at you and it felt like she was staring right into your soul. You were frozen, in disbelief at what she was telling you. She held out her hand and you took it, your fingers naturally slipping between hers and closing around her palm. How could two bodies fit each other that perfectly? Abby took a deep breath and turned her gaze to the fire again.

“I still have a long way to go with all this and the next few days are going to absolutely fucking horrible. I have no idea how I’m going to survive that. But with you by my side, I want to try. For you, for Lev, and for all the people I’ve lost. I owe it to them to make the best of the life I still have.”

She lifted your hands to her face and kissed the back of your hand.

“You, Y/N, have stirred something inside me I haven’t felt in years. It feels warm and hopeful and eager to see what the next day brings. And because I know tomorrow will bring a lot of pain, at the moment I just want to see what the next hour brings.”

You let your head fall on her shoulder and she put an arm around you. It had gone completely dark and the fire was slowly dying down, but you were warm and comfortable. The night was singing a bittersweet song for those gone too soon, the trees humming their wonderful tenor as the waves joined in with a whisper, the bats over your heads drumming their fleeting rhythm, and an owl completing the symphony with her wailing cries.

Abby started talking again and telling you stories about her time with the Fireflies while ripping off little pieces of bread for you both. One day, her and Owen had helped her dad free a zebra that had gotten caught in some wire. Her first kiss had been Nora, her closest friend and a brilliant doctor. Leah and Jordan had been the power couple at the WLF, brilliant together but also extremely annoying whenever they started wildly making out at parties or fucking in the bathroom thinking the others wouldn’t hear. Then there was Mel, part of the group but in a difficult triangle with Abby and Owen. She had been pregnant with Owen’s child when Ellie killed her. And Yara, what a wonderful young woman. Lev’s sister had stood by him and defended him when he had gotten in trouble with the Seraphites and she had done everything she could to protect him until the day she died. From that day on, Abby had taken that responsibility.

She also told you about her fear of heights and the trip through the sky with Lev, now laughing as she admitted how bizarre it all seemed looking back. It was nice to hear her laugh again and to finally really get to know her.

When the fire was nothing more than a few smoldering coals, Abby suggested going back to the cabin. You packed up your things and carried them back inside. Abby lit the lamp again while you folded the sandy blankets and put them to the side. Then you locked the door.

As you turned around, you could see Abby standing next to the bed, looking at you. Her features were only lit from the side, golden light flickering over her cheekbones and jaw. Her head was slightly cocked and her hands were restless again, searching for something to hold on to and finding only each other.

“Come here,” she said in a low voice. You felt yourself drawn to her by an invisible string, moving faster with every step until you clashed into her, hands and arms entangling, hot mouths pressed together. She let herself fall back onto the bed and pulled you down with her.

You couldn’t tell if the rushing in your ears was the sea or your own blood, but it didn’t matter. Abby’s calloused hands were exploring your back under the sweatshirt, her thigh was pressed between yours and her heavy breathing joined the harmony in your head.

You paused for a minute, staring down at the beautiful face beneath you, her eyes promising that she was all yours.

“You're so fucking beautiful,” you whispered, then you kissed her again and dragged her down with you into an ocean of pleasure.

-

Author’s note: After receiving amazing feedback from you guys and a demand for more, I’m currently in the process of writing a Part 3 for this! Thank you for your patience 💌 if you’d like, you can support me by buying me a coffee 💛

[parkersbliss]

Honey Eyes | T. Holland

Pairing: Tom Holland X Female Reader

Word Count: 3.6K

Warnings: amnesia? brief mention of a car accident. angsty, but ends with fluff

Summary: Tom keeps trying to get you to remember him, but he is slowly losing hope.

Request: Hello! May I please request something angsty where the reader and Tom are in a car accident and she doesn’t remember him. The media and fans are worried about Tom when he’s only worried about her. And then one day something brings back all the memories! I also like to suffer hahaha

playlist/song inspiration: Right Now by 1D, Falling by Harry Styles, Fireproof by 1D

Masterlist | Taglist | Prompt List

—

It all happened so fast. One minute the car was driving smoothly on the road and the next there was a crash and Tom was thrown forward into the seat in front of him. Of course, he didn't care he immediately went to check on you. At least he thought he did, in his dazed reality, Tom was just blubbering nonsense to the seat in front of him before he passed out.

...

The room was a blinding white. Tom stretched, bones cracking as there was a loud commotion coming from beside him.

"Oh thank god!" Harry said, standing next to his eldest brother. "you're not dead!"

Tom gives him a quizzical look, "Yeah, no shit."

"I see a near-death experience still hasn't changed your attitude."

Harry crosses his arms as Tom rolls his eyes, "whatever, I'm fine. You would think if I died Harrison would be here."

Harry goes pale at the mention of Harrison and Tom quirks an eyebrow at him, "what?"

"He's with (Y/N), we take turns watching you guys."

Tom tries to climb out of bed, "I need to go see her, where is she?"

"Tom, no, I don't think that's a good idea just yet. You just woke up."

Harry tries pushing him back down on the bed, Tom complying because he doesn't have any strength to actually resit him.

"Is she awake? Can she come here?"

Harry considers it, "I'll go ask Haz. If she can I'll bring her to you."

Tom nods, fiddling with his fingers. Were you okay? He didn't remember much about the accident, not that he wanted too. He watches as Harry disappears from the hospital room, he notes the grim look on his face.

You weren't far from Tom's room, just three doors down. Harry knocks on the door softly to let you know of his arrival. He silently closes it behind him.

"Tom just woke up," He said to no one imparticular. You were sat on the bed, the same blank expression on your face.

"Hey, (Y/N)," Harry smiled, hoping to coax some type of recognition from you. Instead, he gets the usual forced smile and small "hi Harry."

You had woken up a few days before Tom, but unlike him, you had no collection of any of the events that had occurred in the past year. The boys were devastated when they found out. Harrison had been in your room when you had awoken and he didn't hesitate to hug you, only to find you not returning the action. He stepped back and saw the confusion on your face, following that he called a nurse who ran a few tests, concluding that you were suffering from amnesia.

"Would you like to see Tom?" Harry asked gently.

"Is he the one you guys keep talking about? The one I was dating?"

They both nod, Harrison, pulling up a picture of the two of you in Bali. A quiet 'oh' leaves your lips.

"Are you sure he wants to see me? I don't want to crush his heart."

"Sweetheart," Harrison started. "Tom loves you and I know you don't remember, but believe me, he wants to see you even if you don't know him. His whole life revolves around you being happy. He always puts you first."

You nod, "Okay."

The two boys lead you to his room, Harry staying with you outside so that Harrison can explain the situation to Tom.

"Hey," Harrison greets, hugging his best friend.

"Hey," Tom replies. "Is she here?"

"Tom, I- there's no easy way to say this."

Tom interrupts him, "She's not dead, is she?"

"Oh my god, No! She has amnesia."

Tom felt his heart drop, "she doesn't...?" he asked, hoping Harrison would say something else and wash away this nightmare. It was like being in the sun at the beach, the water lapping around your waist, and out of nowhere a giant wave crashes over you. Tom couldn't think clearly, it was like he was drowning and he hadn't even seen you.

"I'm sorry, Tom, but the doctors say you might be able to trigger something. It's unknown."

"Can I," He gulps, bracing himself. "Can I see her?" It was hard for him. Tom wanted to see you again, your beautiful face and the gleaming smile, even if it wasn't for him. Harrison nods, opening the door as you slowly step inside, Harry behind you.

"Love, hey," Tom catches himself, watching as you flinch at the use of the name, whereas normally you would blush. "I'm sorry," He said. "(Y/N)."

"Hi Tom," You greet. There was a smile on your face, but Tom could see right through you. Your eyes had lost the spark of excitement they always held, there was a smile on your face, but it didn't burn as bright as it uses too. Your body was folding in on itself, trying to hide from him and it crushed Tom.

"Do you remember anything?" He asks.

You shake your head no, avoiding his gaze and letting one of the other two boys in the room speak for you.

"Nothing from the past year," Harrison said, picking up on your avoidance of the topic.

"Oh," Tom said sadly.

"I should go," You whisper. Tom wants to tell you to stay, but he knows he has no right too anymore. So instead, he watches you walk out of the room with his brother. When the door closes he lets the sob leave his lips. Harrison stands up and races to his side, but Tom chokes out a "please, I just need to be alone right now."

Harrison signs, making his way toward the door, "Tom, just know, you're not in this alone. We're here for you, don't forget that. She's going to get better."

Tom doesn't say anything, he just waits for the door to close so he can cry a little bit harder.

...

The days went by and Tom got better, but you showed no signs of recognition. It was killing him on the inside, but he barely had time to himself. Your faces were plastered over every magazine, the news getting out to the whole world only a few days after it happened. His publicist was always with him as they tried to work out the details.

The world already knew everything, it was just a matter of a statement coming from Tom to ensure everything was alright, but the thing was it wasn't alright. Nothing about this was 'alright.' Tom felt like he had woken up to a worse reality than the one inside his dreamless sleep. He watched the publicist mouth speak but did not register the words coming out. He only nodded throwing in the occasional "uh-huh" into the mix.

His mind was always elsewhere these days. Tom would be released from the hospital soon and he wasn't sure if you were coming home with him. He wanted you too, hoping maybe the place would trigger some sort of memory, but he understood that you didn't know him. To you, Tom was just another face. He felt helpless and the truth was, he was. There was no telling if you would get your memory back or even the slightest guarantee.

They were all relying on a small bud of hope. The situation was so far out of their control all they could do was hope and pray. But like anything else, sometimes, you just can't. Miracles were hard to come by, but here, Tom was praying for one.

...

Tom stepped out into the bright sun, shielding his face as the flashing cameras went off. You were following close behind, the boys all shielding you from the paparazzi. There was ecstatic yelling, microphones being shoved around. Tom smiles politely, pushing past them to get to the car. Not bothering to answer any questions. Once you're seating comfortably in the car, you let out a small cough. Tom turns to look at you, "Sorry about that."

"It's fine, but what was that?"

Tom turns toward Harry, "So no one bothered to tell (Y/N)?"

Harrison scratches the back of his neck, avoiding Tom's gaze. Tom rolls his eyes, "I thought these two might've told you or maybe you remembered that part, guess not. I'm an actor."

"Oh, you seem really famous. What for?"

"I play Spider-Man," He shrugs like it's no big deal.

"Wait, really? I dated Spider-Man?"

Tom flinches at the use of the term dated, he was still dating you. In his mind, he was. There was no official breakup, but he should probably assume that you guys were on 'break.'

"Yeah," He replies, looking out the window. You frown at his change of mood, but respectfully don't pry into it. Instead, you sigh and turn to look out the other window.

...

When Tom got home with you, it didn't feel like home. You were with him, but you weren't really with him. He could feel it. Late nights surrounding by friends and family, just like how it used to be, except he could see you trying desperately to rearrange the faces in your mind. Tom wanted you here with him again.

You were so distant, a sad expression on your face each time you had some time to yourself. You hoped he didn't notice, but he did. Tom could read you so well and he could tell that each time he left the room, you let out a sigh of relief.

It wasn't that Tom's presence scared you, it was how hurt he looked sometimes. You understood how sad he must be and you didn't blame him, but you just felt so guilty when he tried something new and his face would light up asking if you remembered anything, but you didn't. It hurt more when he didn't try as much.

It was late at night when Tom laid in bed wishing you were next to him. Not down the hallway in the guest room. It was the same thought every night, wishing you were with him. Everything was new to him, his entire life had been flipped. He turned down roles to be home with you and he never left.

Normally he would've been grateful for some time off, he loved spending time with you, but it hurt each time when your face didn't light up the same way it use to when he came around. That's not to say you weren't yourself, you were. It was only the people you forgot, which Tom was grateful for somehow. He felt better knowing that at least you knew yourself.

"Hey," He said softly, taking the seat next to you.

You smiled sincerely at him, trying your best to lighten up his day, "Hi, Tom!"

He gives you a quizzical look, "What's got you so happy today?"

You shrug, "Dunno, thought maybe if I was happy you might be too."

The thought was so innocent that Tom couldn't help but smile too. It was something you had done often before the accident. You were a beacon of light always shining in the dark in hopes of lighting someone else up too.

"I am happy," Tom said.

"Right," You nodded, agreeing with him. A small trace of sarcasm in your voice.

Tom clears his throat, not wanting to address his obvious mood changes. "If you're up for it, I want to take you somewhere."

Tom rarely took you out because of the media. The first time he had tried it, there were cameras anywhere. He had sensed your discomfort and offered to just go home. You agreed, still not to use to the feeling of prying eyes.

"I'd love too," You said honestly.

A real smile breaks across Tom's face, "great! Just let me know when you're ready."

You nod and exit the kitchen to get ready.

...

The coffee shop was small but cozy. It had a rustic feeling to it with a menu attached to a brick wall, strung with small lanterns. There are small plants everywhere adding a small splash of green to the rustic cafe.

"This place is cute," You told Tom. You were both careful to wear sunglasses and baseball caps to conceal your faces from prying eyes. His hand rests on your lower back as a means of keeping you close to him. You learned early on that Tom likes to touch you, it's comforting to him and you didn't mind.

"It was our favorite," He replies, gauging your reaction.

"I can see why." You grin up at him, there's a bit of familiarity to the place.

Tom orders and pays as the two of you sit at a booth by the window. When you're sure no one's looking, you both remove your hats and glasses. You study the busy streets of London, people rushing up and down them to get to work. Some are making phone calls, other eating, and some just running.

As you watch the outsiders, Tom's focus is on you as you bask in the golden light of day. The rays of light stream through the window and illuminate your skin, showering it in golden shine. It's breathtaking to him, plus the relaxed look on your face. He never really got to see you so peaceful.

"You look beautiful," He blurts out.

A blush creeps up your neck and you bend your head down, a curtain of hair covering your pink cheeks.

"Thank you."

"Can I take a picture? For Instagram, the fans are worried sick about you."

"Oh." You hadn't even bothered to look at your social media. Figuring it was full of notifications from people you didn't know. "yeah, let's do it."

The waitress sets your drinks down on the table and you flash her a small smile. Tom suggests you return to your normal position, taking a sip of your drink as you looked out to the busy streets of London. You do so as he snaps a few pictures.

"Wow, yes queen!" He jokes, adding a funny accent. "Work it, my god!"

You laugh at this, Tom snapping the perfect picture of you, face scrunched up in laughter, eyes closed as you clutch your drink in your hands. He hands you your phone and you admire the pictures.

"These are really good, Tom!" You gape at the photos.

He grins, scratching the back of his neck, "You were a really good model."

"Tommmm," You whine, "shut up!"

"it's true!" he defends, sipping at his coffee. "Just because I'm not your boyfriend anymore doesn't mean I can't admire your beauty."

"Always this charming, huh?" You tease, leaning forward slightly.

"You fell in love with it," Tom smirks, leaning back in your seat as your jaw falls open. You lick your lips, shaking your head as you lean back, crossing your arms over your chest.

"That's what you say, am I suppose to believe that?"

Tom gasps, laying a hand over his heart. "Are you calling me a liar?"

"Are you suggesting that I should?"

"wouldn't you like to know, love."

The name rolls off his tongue easily and you find yourself flushing at the use of it. You don't bother correcting him, but instead, bite your lip and roll your eyes. Tom is aware you don't correct him and he can feel his heart thump in his chest. If you didn't remember him, he could always get you to fall back in love with him, right?

There's a moment of silence as you both try to calm your pounding hearts. You sip carefully at your drink, pretending it's much more exciting than the man in front of you. You take long sips, keeping your eyes downward, not wanting to look at Tom's flushed face. You weren't lying if you said you were attracted to him, but you could sense Tom clinging on to his last bit of hope.

"Tom," You drawl, still not looking up. Sensing his eyes on your figure, you ponder if you should be asking this type of question, but it was bugging you.

"What happens if I don't get my memories back?"

Time seems to slow as the outside world gets quieter so you can hear Tom's sharp intake of breath. He turns his attention to the window, biting his lips nervously as he considers the possibility.

Of course, he had considered it before, but he didn't want too. He never dwelled on the thought too long, because frankly, he didn't know what he would do. Could he get you to fall back in love with him? Even if he did, there was still a whole year of your relationship that was missing.

An entire year's worth of memories and fun. You'd have to rebuild the entire base of your relationship with not only Tom but his family and friends. You would have to readjust to the fame, which was hard for you the first time.

"I don't know," He whispers. "Maybe... maybe you'll leave me."

It's a thought that hadn't crossed either of your minds. Yes, Tom was growing on you, but what if he'd stop and you'd left? You didn't think about it because all you'd known since you'd woken up was Tom.

Being with Tom made you feel like there was still a piece of you there and that you didn't miss a whole year of your life. You didn't want to leave him, but maybe being with you hurt Tom more then you understood.

"Maybe," You said, trying to keep your voice steady.

Tom just nods, sipping at his coffee, the small cafe starting to bustle with life again.

"I'm sorry," You spoke up after the long silence.

Tom looks at you, brown eyes full of confusion. "Sorry for what?"

"Sorry for not being able to remember. I'm sorry I'm not the person you fell in love with." You swipe at the few tears that slipped down your cheeks.

"No, hey, don't cry," Tom said softly, prying your hands from your face. "Don't be sorry, none of this is your fault, love. Don't ever apologize. I don't know why you would ever think that. (Y/N) you will always be the only woman I love. Just because you don't remember how we met doesn't mean I'll stop loving you. Maybe you don't remember loving me back, but I don't care. You are the person I love and don't ever doubt that."

More tears slip down your cheeks at Tom's confession. There's a pounding in your heart and fluttering feeling in your stomach as you look into his eyes. His honey eyes full of warmth and love as he stares into yours, squeezing your hands. You take the moment to admire his face.

His brown curls pushed back on his forehead, a few falling out and framing his face. The sharp lines of his cheekbones, dotted with sun-kissed freckles. You can't recognize his face, but you know those eyes. The same honey eyes that sparkled under the streetlights as you danced in the cool London night, dripping wet from the rain.

But that didn't matter when you were with Tom. The same eyes that crinkled with laughter each time you cracked one of your stupid jokes, that according to everyone else, weren't funny, but to Tom, it was the best joke he'd heard. His eyes held a million memories in them, like the time you first kissed. Although the room had been dark, you could clearly see his eyes tracing your lips and you didn't hesitate to lean forward and press your own to his.

As you stare into Tom's eyes, he can see the recognition slowly crawl back onto your face. He waits patiently, squeezing your hands a little tighter to remind that he's right here.

"Tom?" You ask, voice barely above a whisper.

"(Y/N)?"

"Kiss me."

Tom captures your lips with him, leaning across the table just the slightest to brush against your lips, making sure this was okay. You only nod, bringing one of your hands to the back of his neck to pull his face the final inch closer. You close your eyes, savoring the feeling of his soft lips on yours. He pulls back tentatively, not wanting the intimate moment to end. Tom presses his forehead to yours, his face bursting with a grin.

"I won't ever forget you, Tom," You said, watching as his eyes fill with a few tears. You move your hands to gently cup his cheeks, wiping at his tears with the pad of your thumb. He kisses your hands, eyes soft as he takes you in.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," He repeats like a mantra. You give him a quick kiss on the lips.

"I love you too. So, should we tall the media or do you think they've figured it out by now?" You quirk a thumb at the paparazzi outside the window.

Tom laughs, "Mmm, not my priority right now, love."

He watches as you flush at the use of the name and he feels like the world is right again. Tom's eyes sparkle with a life that you hadn't seen for weeks.

Damn, those eyes, you think as he winks at you. "You're blushing sweet cheeks."

"Can't help it golden eyes."

It's Tom's turn to blush as he scrunches up his nose at the new name, "well, darling, I think there are a few people that would love to see you. I know Harry has been dying without you around."

You laugh, taking Tom's outstretched hand, "Lead the way, pretty boy."

"God, I've missed you."

"I know," You smirk, pressing a small kiss to his cheek. "But I'm not leaving anytime soon."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

—

🏷 Taglist: @cams-lynn @runway-to-my-aid @peterspideyy @yoinkyourheart @honeybittersweet @keenmarvellover

strike through- tumblr won’t let me tag you :(

[cncoluv]

CNCO Sleep Over Spring Break

Warnings: Fluffy 

Setting: Four Seasons in Florida/Disney

Background: Thank goodness it is one day away from officially being spring break because I'm so sick of college right now. If I have to think about another advanced research methods class, my head will explode. It has been a crazy year and I have not talked to the boys that much between them being on tour and me having classes. I will call them after their shows and interviews every once in a while. But we all agreed that it has been forever since we have seen each other and that we need to spend time together since I have almost two weeks off of college and work. We all agreed that we should spend some time together during their tour in Florida since that was a place that I had not been to since I was young.

(Y/N)

We all agreed that another sleepover was absolutely necessary so we could revert back to being children again to sing and dance all over again and not have a care in the world. It was refreshing because I have not had a break or a fun time in a long while, and I am sure they need one as well with the constant touring. While packing my clothes for tomorrow, I decided that we would go to a fancy restaurant and it would be my treat. I am sure I am going to have to fight them since they do not like me to pay for all of them at once because they are stubborn.  For the restaurant, I am bringing the most beautiful dress that I own, a deep purple dress with diamonds that gleam all over that in any light. The top of the dress has an off of the shoulder fit and it has leg slits on both sides that show your thighs, which is almost scandalous because it is very high up on the leg. It is a form-fitting dress so it shows off all of your curves in the correct way. You pick your 5-inch stiletto black heels to go with the outfit, and it matches perfectly, so you are super excited. You pick out your other outfits which are summer clothes mostly shorts and crop tops or tank tops with sandals or pretty dresses. You pick the first outfit that you were going to be wearing that next morning to see them which was a black and white checkered crop top with biker shorts and black converses.

When everything is packed and you wind down from the day you finally get to sleep, you get up early the following day, ready to go to the airport. You get up and get dressed to get on your flight, and you are wearing white shorts with a light and dark blue ombre crop top with white flip-flops. As you get on your flight, you are a little nervous, but you get over it pretty quickly because everything is going smoothly, and you are still excited to see the boys. You are slowly starting to come down off cloud nine by remembering you have feelings for one of the members, Zabdiel.

He was so shy and did not show his feelings that much to the rest of the world, but to you and his family. He was always bubbly and fun to be around; one of the last things you remember was the kiss he left you with. You thought about that kiss for a while after it happened because it was one of the softest kisses that you did not want to end. His lips felt like the light mist of cotton candy that touches your lips, leaving you wanting more. When you reminisce over the kiss and how he acted the last time you meet, you realize that Zab might have been slightly jealous. The kiss sealed the deal of how he felt about you and how you felt about him, and leaving so suddenly after might have changed that, so right now, there are more questions that you have to ask him.

(Richard POV)

I really wish (Y/N) would get here. I need to see her and miss her so much. I’m glad that she agreed to come and join us. We haven't talked as much this year but especially since the towel dropped. I am still super embarrassed about it, but we talked about it, and she seemed as if she was okay but I still do not fully know how she felt. I don't want to lose her as a friend because of it, so I want to make sure she is okay. But I know last time I tried to talk to her, Zab got upset because he has a crush on her. I don't want to get in the way that he is always so much happier when (Y/N) is around.

(Zabdiel POV)

I can't believe that (Y/N) will be here really soon. We have not seen her in almost one year. I missed (Y/N) so much, and I still have not forgotten about that kiss from last year; it was terrific. Her lips felt like smooth silk with just the slightest touch of soft and velvety flower petals, and I still remember the hint of strawberry that I tasted from her flavored lipstick. I still feel the same way about her and she makes me feel different than any other girl I have been with before. I just hope that she somewhat understands how I feel about her, if not then it will be hard to explain to her without embarrassing myself.

--- Skips to the next day---

(Y/N) POV

I am driving to Florida so I packed everything and headed out at 1 a.m. since it is an 8-hour drive and we want to spend the whole day together. I wanna go to sleep after this drive because so many people do not know how to drive. Like did they get their license from a freaking cracker jack box? But besides that, I had a music playlist setup and CNCO was the most of the songs. I liked their renditions of other songs from the Déjà Vu album. So that whole album was played about 3 times on repeat.

Once I got kind of close I was going to call the boys and let them know that I was only 45 minutes away from the Four Seasons at Orlando. When Richard answered the phone I heard Christopher laughing in the background which made me laugh. Then I told Richard I was only about 40-45 minutes away and he said okay cool see you soon (Y/N). I found it strange because he would normally talk to me for about 5-10 minutes before getting off of the phone. But I kept driving wondering why he ended the call so abruptly was it something I had done?

When I got there I let them know that I was outside and about 2 minutes later I saw them come outside the building. I went to hug the first person I had seen which was Erick, he had this adorable smile he looked different from the last time. He seemed more confident in who he was which was radiating off of him. Then I saw Joel had changed and had gotten more buff and had grown out his facial hair. He said, "I missed you”. You smiled and hugged each other.

When you look over you see Christopher and you both immediately start laughing at each other for no reason like normal. He hasn't changed much since the last time I saw him. He is still goofy and adorable and you hug him laughing. After laughing with Chris you look over to see Richard he looks at you and then looks down for a moment, you ask him if he is okay. He says yeah and you give him a confused look but you still hug him. Then you see Zabdiel, he smiles at me and stretches out his arms, and blurts out "I love you". Dead silence fell between the six of you, you stared at him and were about to speak he quickly turned and ran into the hotel. You are about to go after him but they tell you to wait a few minutes. You reluctantly agree and grab your bags, they help out but you ask Richard to stay back real quick to chat.

The other boys look but don't say anything, you ask him what is going on because he has been acting differently recently. He said in a higher pitch than normal "everything is okay'' you step in front of him and tell him to stop lying to you. He sighs and lets you know that he was still thinking of what happened last time with the towel. I reassured him that it was okay and for him not to be embarrassed about it and let's have a fun trip.

He smiles and you both shake on it and pinky promises not to bring it up again. Both of us are back inside and y'all are both starting to get into the elevator and he is asking how college is going. You tell him why you needed a break and get out of the elevator and he says "That sounds like a lot to do dang" you laugh and said, "so do you and the other boys, another album videos and choreography." He smiles and when you arrive at the Presidential Suite he gets the key card and puts it in the door.

It looked stunning and you marvel at all of the stuff that was inside, you smile but then and see all of the boys except Zab. You ask where he went and they said the room right there and all point at it even though the room is supposed to fit 2 people we made accommodations. I walked back there and asked Zab if he was okay. He just stared at me for a moment. He got up and walked towards me and as he was walking I could see a smirk starting to form on his face. When he came up to me threw me against the wall and kissed me…

Stay tuned for part 3!