#i try to put care to show their personality though... wah....

[cursezoroark]

mona stuff i cleaned up from a few weeks ago!

[akumaalert]

not a request just sharing bc i couldn't stop thinking of just "what if lucky called heis good boy" like how he calls her good girl sometimes but like.. i'm pretty sure he would break

This was supposed to be a mini-fic....but...uh....it'll likely be the first chapter of "Divergence" instead LMAO But hope you enjoy!

Good Boy

Karl Heisenberg x Reader, Explicit

CW: Masturbation, Accidental Voyeurism, Voyeurism, Happy Ending, Virgin!Karl Heisenberg

An AU happening during chapter 19 of "Heavy Metal Lover" but can be read without reading the main story.

"Unfh..."

That had been the first noise from Lucky besides the scratch of a pencil against paper that he had heard in about an hour.

Stuck in his office with her as he searched for a misplaced - not lost, just misplaced! - core schematic, Heisenberg tried to ignore the nagging thought of how domestic the space had become. Lucky never moved his things - something he was infinitely grateful for. He could recall too well his ever boiling frustration at having his room "cleaned" when living in the castle. The maids were well-meaning, but always adjusting. The room he had held would have felt more his own had he been able to move his own furniture around without the chambermaids fawning over him.

"No, no, young Lord Heisenberg! This is all wrong...off you go...go play...we will fix this mess."

Now on his own and in his element of chaos, he felt comforted, even if secretly so, that Lucky never seemed to complain.

Comforted...but cautious.

The day at the stronghold seemed stamped into his memory...right in the front for all to see. It remained a wonder Lucky didn't see it on his face.

The knowledge.

The horrible, horrible knowledge.

Love.

Staring at an old newspaper clip-out that he had saved with a picture of a modern car on its faded pages, he absently pushed the glasses back up his nose.

It tired him - the constant need to flip back and forth between acknowledging his feelings and thrusting them as far down as he could manage. Drowning them out with that beautiful sound of cinching machinery. Allowing them to seep into him with every laugh from her lips.

Heisenberg was starting to fall in love with the woman. The woman he had failed to kill - the lucky one to survive his maze. The woman his mother expected him to impregnate in order for Miranda's mad vessel to be born and to be killed all in the name of misery.

Misery otherwise known as Eva.

Slowly but certainly, Lucky was driving him insane. Reminding him of things he could never, ever have. Teasing him over and over for days on end.

Heisenberg remembered all too well his reason for entering the office. He had nearly sliced his own arm clean off his shoulder when he lost himself to his situation. To the possibility that, despite his body being so ill-suited for the task, Lucky could have his child. Would want his child. His thoughts, as they so often did, snapped back to the need for freedom - for the need for the arms to come loose from his latest corpse to transform them into one of his many soldiers.

But the more he thought of freedom, the more she sat in the background of his mind.

The more she sat there, the more his tired musings began to stitch together.

The more freedom and Lucky - the two dreams of his world - became intertwined.

He had been thinking of her - of Lucky - beside him the day that he won freedom from the village.

Won freedom...and her.

"You did it, Heis! You did it!"

Lucky would never know how dear it was to him...the fact that her emotions ran so freely with her very being. Beaming. She would do nothing less than beam at him. Her eyes would glow and crinkle at their tails as they did when she gave him her most genuine smiles.

"You did it. You're free. Our...our family is free."

"...family?"

She would grab his hand. Just one. He needed the other steady on her cheek.

Lucky would bring that hand clasped in her own to her belly.

"Our family..."

"Our...another...another Heisenberg?"

In his dreams, she shyly escaped his gaze to nod.

"You...you haven't been alone. Not with me. Not with the start of our family. But now...now, Heis..." Her eyes popped back up all soft and sincere. "Now you'll never be alone again. Not with our baby Heisenberg on the way..."

The only break from his reverie was the slice to one of his favorite stained t-shirts. Only the fact that it was Heisenberg's powers directing the saw had it falling to the floor instead of through his tensed skin.

Heisenberg could only stand in shocked silence. The arm that had been spared from the violence came to grab his shoulder. Though no injury had occurred, he felt stabbed all the same.

Family...and joy?

Lucky...with him?

Another Heisenberg...alive?

A thought washed over him like ice entering his veins.

A boy or a girl...would we have a boy or a girl first?

First.

As if Lucky wished to be objected to more of his perverted and preposterous daydreams.

When he left the room, the metal was still shaking.

"Gotta get that fucking schematic...keep forgetting it...keep going to the office and...fuck...keep talking to her. Gotta stop fucking talking to her. Schematic. Get the fucking schematic."

Lucky had been asleep in bed when he first entered. A rushing relief to his soul. But as the search for the schematic went from flipping through one file to frantically reshuffling the wayward stack the paper should have been in, he knew it was only a matter of time before she would appear.

"Oh...ah!" Lucky yawned all cute and squeaky. "Good morning, Heis."

"Morning," he said flatly. "You...you move any of these lately?"

"No," she said sleepily. "I don't touch those...way above my pay grade. What are you looking for?"

"Core schematic," he grumbled. "Not fucking here...where the hell did I put it?"

Though Lucky made a very pointless questioning noise, she said nothing as she sat down and began her daily transcriptions. Hell, he had been grateful. She showed concern because she was simply a good person beneath all of the trauma and the terror she had reigned on his self-image. But she didn't pry or attempt to enter his space afterward where she would clearly only be in the way.

But that was before her second moan filled the office.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked, never looking up from his stack of papers.

A frustrated sigh and a grumble came from the desk chair.

"Think I slept on my neck funny last night," she said. "Doesn't help that my posture is shit. Just making it impossible to find a good angle to work in."

Growing agitated at his fruitless search, Heisenberg whipped around to look at her. "Want some help?"

"Mmn?"

"Want a massage or something?" he offered. "A...ha! You'll find this funny. Supersized one up in the castle? Used to love to make me massage her neck when I was a kid. Fucking manual labor when I was barely old enough to write. Had maids to do it - an assload at that - and forced me to instead."

Raising an eyebrow at him, Lucky frowned. "Was it...did she...did she hurt you? Like...if you didn't do it?"

"Ah nah," he said, taking careful steps over to Lucky. "Told you...when I was a kid, I was off limits. I whine about it now...but...well...I was a kid. Bitch loves kids. So I had to massage her back...but only part of this stupid salon thing we used to do together. It was nothing. Stupid. Just like her."

He did not know what to make of Lucky's face. Tilting her head, she steadied a look on him that could only be called curious.

"It's...it's a good memory? Of Alcina when you were small?"

Heisenberg scoffed.

"It's a memory," he said, standing behind Lucky with a wide stance and an even wider stare at her neck. "Not good or bad...just...there. Now...where's it hurt, kid?"

Raising a hand, Lucky placed her fingers on a section of her neck before swirling her touch.

"Ah...there...like just this one spot, but fanning out..."

"Okay...looks like your C7."

"My what now?"

Chuckling, Heisenberg moved her hand out of the way. "Your C7 vertebrae. Duck your chin down so I can get in here properly."

Doing as she was told, Lucky's head moved forward and Heisenberg placed his gloved hands against her neck. His thumbs encased the pained area and began to move in slow yet sturdy circles.

Lucky immediately began squirming.

"Can you maybe try without the gloves?" she asked. "Those are like...rough or something."

Casting off his gloves quickly, Heisenberg rolled his shoulders before trying again. "Wah, wah, wah...doing you a favor and you're out here complaining. That better, your highness?"

"Yes, actually," she said, relaxing. "And thank you. Asshole."

Puffing air out of his mouth, Heisenberg merely shook his head as he kneaded her skin.

"Mmn!"

Heisenberg tried to hide his stillness by immediately starting to massage her skin again.

But the noise could not be ignored.

"What was that?"

"Your hands...they're so warm. Fuck...feels good."

"Oh..." he said dumbly. Blinking down at her, he turned his head away as he kept his fingers in motion.

The fact that his cock had begun to waken in his pants was not lost on him.

"Are you using your electric powers? Is that why it feels so good?"

"Nah...really shouldn't do that on the living above the waist."

Above the waist...but below the waist...

"Ah," he continued, running his teeth over the scar on his lower lip. "Cause of the heart or whatever. Probably your brain too from this angle. Could fry both without meaning to. And I was working...earlier. Probably why they feel hot."

Lucky sighed as he continued to work her neck. His fingers were sweeping but slow. He had started off so intently and so rough. What had happened?

I felt her skin. Felt her beneath me. Felt her neck...for all she knows I could snap it right now and instead of being afraid she's welcoming me...she trusts me...trusts me enough to let me do this...

The next round of his fingers on her neck dipped into skin purposeful in their worship.

Her response was immediate.

"Oh...oh...good boy," she whispered.

To say he was lost for words was like calling water wet.

Though he kept his massage in a rhythmic round, his eyes were wide as they could possibly be behind his glasses. So wide that they hurt.

What the hell did she just do to me?

If he had to go off of physical injury, he would say she punched him in the stomach with all the force of a train running at full speed.

If he had to go off of an attack to his psyche, he would say she wormed her way into some long buried and forgotten wire that sent his entire brain into overdrive.

If he had to go off the erection now straining against his paints, he would say that he was royally fucked.

"You really are so good at this," she said, her voice still breathless. "Good boy...my good boy, Heis."

Heisenberg snatched his hands away as if Lucky were lava.

"Wait! No...what's wrong?" she asked, turning slightly to look at him.

If she looks down...if she sees...

"GOTTA TAKE A SHIT!" he exclaimed suddenly.

Lucky's mouth dropped open as she gaped at him.

Then she nodded with a laugh playing at her lips.

"Yeah. Go. Just come back and finish your massage."

Before he could finish blinking, he found himself storming down the hallway.

Well...intending to storm. His gait was impacted a bit by his dick standing at full mast and his hands hurriedly attempting to unbuckle the straps around his pants.

So FUCKING dumb. A shit? Really? he thought, visibly grimacing. It would have probably been less embarrassing to admit I was about to jack it to her calling me hers.

Hers...her good boy...good...I'm her good boy...hahaha...

What am I? A fucking dog?

...don't answer that.

Rushing into the break room, he considered the couch before catching sight of the bathroom. With a flick of one wrist as his other hand pulled his cock from his underwear and pants, Heisenberg slammed open the bathroom door.

He managed to slide his pants down his legs as he sat on the toilet and closed the door with the weakest of hand movements.

Finally free from judgment, Heisenberg hissed as he fumbled his glasses to the nearby counter and took himself into his hand.

"Good boy...her good boy...fuck...fuck yeah I am, baby..."

A groan and a grunt fell from his lips as he jerked his hand along his shaft.

All too often this act had been nothing but release from tension. An exploration so technical and so tedious as to be boring. But now with Lucky at his side and in his bed - however platonically she slept there - the images that plagued him seemed vibrantly real and tempting in their joyful teasing.

Imaginings - hopes and dreams and fantasies - that he could only cling onto in the moment.

The desk.

He would take her right on that same desk she was taking notes on.

"Oh, Karl," she would say, despite not knowing his first name. "Gonna be my good boy?"

"Yes," he said aloud, eyes closing and mind prickling with sights of her and waves of pleasure.

Lucky would be splayed on his desk - lying on her back and presenting herself to him as if she were a meal to be consumed instead of a darling treasure to worship.

"That's good...only good boys are allowed to fuck me. Isn't that what you want?"

"Yes...yes...god fucking damnit. YES." Huffing and hating the tremble in his thighs, Heisenberg bucked into his hand. "Yes...only me...wanna be your good boy. I'll be so good for you. Only you, Mein Schatz..."

A dirty laugh from her lips. The Lucky of his dreams becoming more and more defined as she palmed one breast and teased her clit with the fingers of her other hand.

"Mmm...know what you're saying you know...my treasure...that's so cute...been feeling the same way about you lately...thinking of you...dreaming of you...my good boy want to tell me what else he's been feeling? Mmn? Big boy wanna tell me before you put your cock inside of me?"

Lips loose along with his pleasure, Heisenberg found he could not build his voice to say the words aloud.

So he mouthed them instead. Mouthed them and stuttered in his quest for pleasure as his hand curled about his shaft at the "lah" tipping silently from his tongue.

"Oh, darling..." A smile. She'd smile. Genuine and sweet and sincere and all for him. "I love you too, Karl."

"Mmnnn....ah...fu-UCK!" With a panicked inhale, Heisenberg quickly pinched the head of his cock to prevent his end from coming too soon. "No, no, no...not yet...not yet...please..."

Though the pleasure was unlike anything he had previously experienced and his calves clenched in protest of a release delayed, his oncoming orgasm stalled and began to fade.

"Such a good boy," said Lucky, eyeing him in his fantasy like she would look at a drink of water on a hot day. "That's right. You don't come until I tell you to. Understand?"

A nod of his head.

"Good, good boy. My good boy. Good Karl. Come on...think it's time you got your treat...here...I'll help you..."

With her fingers moving to fully expose the inside of that wet and preciously pink pussy of hers, Lucky looked up at him with a lidded look.

Heisenberg had no experience with another person when it came to handling his physical pleasure. Hell, with any pleasure or positive feeling at all. Except maybe the triumph of victory over others, he had never had the chance to experience happiness - true happiness and trust and faith in another soul.

Until her.

And for her...for her he would indulge and give himself freely...if only locked away inside of his mind.

Inexperience taking a back seat to passion, he pictured himself guiding his cock into her waiting and welcoming body. Maybe he would steady himself with a hand on her hip or simply with a heated stare into her eyes.

He all but strangled his cock to try to mimic a feeling he had never known and had never thought to miss before her.

"Uh-huh," whined Lucky in his dreams. "Oh...you're so big...fill me up just right. So fucking thick..."

"Hah...ah...your good boy big enough for you?"

"Yes...oh yes...yes...so big...such a perfect dick...please...please Karl...Heis...please, baby, please...Heis?"

When he began to rut into his own hand with a purpose, he felt flames like that of standing directly beside the blaring crucible dancing across his cheeks. Though some of his daydream seemed vague and hard to read, he had enough to know that he could not delay the inevitable for much longer. Lucky - the real and actual Lucky - was still waiting for him back in the office. Waiting and none the wiser to his desperate need for her affection. It sickened him - the want for anything and everything to do with her.

Sickened him...and sent electric shocks of white pleasure down his spine.

"So fucking perfect...you're so fucking perfect for me, Lucky...oh..."

"Heis..."

"Huh...ah...already so close...so damn worked up...can't stand it...can't stand you looking like that..."

"Like what?"

Heaving and heatedly squirming where he sat, Heisenberg noticed for the first time that one of his boots jutted up and down on the floor beneath him. As if his entire body refused to be still.

"Most beautiful fucking thing I've ever seen," he bit out. "Please...please, Luck...I know it's soon...but please..."

A tilted head and a gentle grin. A pointer finger that danced around her clit and drew his eyes away only long enough for her to breathe out shallow and short. His eyes snapped back to hers immediately.

"Please what?"

"Please let me come...let me come inside you...wanna...wanna take you...claim you...don't want you with anyone else ever again."

Glinting eyes and lush eyelashes.

"You're gonna be all that to me, Heis? Well...in that case..."

Her lips finding his own. His very first kiss - albeit imaginary. Her lips soft but without taste. His own lips puckering even as they trembled from the need for more.

"In that case," she continued, taunting him in his ear. "Come, Heis. Be a good boy and come for me."

Hindsight would have him chastising himself for not thinking to grab some tissue. In the moment, however, he was too busy panting and watching his cum dot the floor in thick strips. Heisenberg growled...tried to hold on to the image of her with one eye still closed.

Reality settled in on him. Settled in even as his stomach quivered underneath his shirt and his orgasm began to relax into his bones. It was pleasant and his every nerve seemed to stand on edge. Tingles of pleasure radiated from his chest to his feet flat against the floor. Gulping in air, he knew he had never come so hard before in his life. It was good...great even.

But it was not her. It was not enough.

Clean up was a quick and tedious affair. Lucky could not know what he had done in her quarters. The tissues he found too late to wipe his seed from the floor were tossed and flushed away. He checked the room once and then again once his shades were back on his face.

Finishing the belt at the top of his pants, he cleared his throat before exiting.

The television in the break room still hummed though it sat completely dead in the meager light from the ceiling.

Shit...glad she wasn't in here. Never had anyone here to care about when I got down to business...no telling what my powers do with electronics...

The schematic. He had to find that damn schematic.

Trying to level his breathing as he stalked the hallway, Heisenberg considered the day before him. Lucky had not wished to attend a revitalization attempt with him yet. While he didn't intend to push her into seeing something that might scar her again, it might be worthwhile to have her eyes in the room at some point. She hadn't complained about the notes yet. Maybe he should offer? Make it sound like a small deal and let her in when it was near completion? Give her a taste before exposing her to more?

Fucking stupid...it's all so fucking stupid...what happened to me? If she were any assistant, I would just drag her ass there and have her record the whole thing. Fuck me with all this concerned shit.

But she's not just any assistant...

Entering the office, he stilled at the doorway when he saw Lucky facing him from her chair.

"Uh...hey," he said, licking his lips. "Sorry about that. Took...ah...let's just forget it."

"Actually," she began. "I need to be honest with you. Because of what happened before..."

Eyebrows shooting up, he stood in silence before she continued.

"Um...so...I was sitting here...sitting here and trying to rub my neck or whatever..."

"Yes?"

"Well...the radio came on and it freaked me out a little bit..." She paused, her fidgety look dropping to the floor. "But...the more I listened...the more I...recognized your voice."

"My...my voice?"

"Yes."

Heisenberg could not move. He shouldn't be looking at her, but he was afraid if he blinked that the tension would break and she would begin laughing or cursing or, worst of all, apologizing.

"Umm...it...I heard you. And I guess you were...I guess it was real time." A tent of her fingers and a swallow in her throat. "I heard your comment and responded and...I think...I think you could hear me too. Possibly? You seemed to...seemed to be replying to what I said directly."

Shame. Shame for a million years fell on his shoulders that had felt so light before.

"Where?" he managed to say. "Where did you come in? What comment did you respond to?"

How she looked at him, he had no idea. She was far braver than he could ever be. Heisenberg planned to face down Miranda without a single hesitation one day on that glorious battlefield where his freedom could be won.

But now? Faced with Lucky standing and walking toward him with the full weight of her eyes upon him?

He looked away.

"You said...you asked me if my good boy was big enough for me."

The purr in her voice. The sound of her steps growing closer. The burn in his throat.

"After that," she said. "I called your name...I...responded to you and you to me."

"That didn't...I..." He shook his head. "I...umm..."

"Can I hold your hand?"

Head shooting up, Heisenberg caught her heated look. The same heated look she had worn in his dreams.

He nodded. Nodded even though he barely registered it until she took his hand and steps to press herself flush against him.

When she spoke, it was hushed and low.

For him and him only.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom...freshen up. Since we know you can communicate from the radio to the television...I want you to tell me when it's okay to come back here. I'm giving you two options."

Heisenberg hung on her every word and looked at her as if she controlled his every movement.

"The first...you can leave. Can give me enough time to go there...find what you were looking for...then tell me you're off to do whatever. I won't mention this again. We won't mention it."

Silence fell between the two of you. A crackle of the radio to the side of the room.

"And the other option?" he asked, voice nearly breaking.

A shy look. A happy tilt of her lips.

"The other option...you can rest for a bit before I come back here and make whatever fantasy you were having come true."

A mouth drier than dry left his tongue feeling too large. Too large and too needed to swipe across his lips.

"You don't have to answer now-"

"The second one," he said. "Second one. Want that one. Screw the first one."

A bright and happy smile. A smile that crinkled the tail of her eyes and lit up her face.

She was beaming at him. Squeezing his hand before parting from him.

Not for long...not for damn long if he could help it.

"You give me the word then, good boy," she teased, walking out of the room.

Legs nearly buckling and sending him to the ground, Heisenberg took uneasy steps to his office chair before throwing himself on it. His entire body buzzed, though it seemed far less like electricity and far more like promise and hope. Not love on her end...not yet. But a maybe. Potential.

More.

Grinning stupidly and looking at the desk, he made quick work of clearing the area for the fun he planned on having from his daydream to come true.

As soon as he picked up the recorder Lucky used to transcribe his notes, Heisenberg saw it.

That damned schematic.

His last visit to this same room. A note on said schematic stating "DON'T FORGET" in large words. A note he carelessly put there before guiding Lucky to sit down to look at her transcriptions and laugh with her over the sixth stable boy in one week to die of drunken stupidity.

Quietly and contentedly, he opened the desk drawer to stuff the schematic inside.

"Mmn...don't think I'll need you for a while yet actually..." Eyeing the radio on the wall, Heisenberg tossed his glasses to the table and tried to slick and perfect the wiry hair about his head. "Oh, Lucky, honey...room is ready whenever you are...and so is your good boy."

[butwhatifidothis]

Tumblr is starting to VERY MUCH dislike how long the other reblog chain is getting, so this will be Reblog Chain 2 of my jotting down notes of this fic. Here is the first reblog chain for Chapters 1-20

But it appears as though I was correct in sleeping off Chapter 20, because Chapter 21 is. Hm. bad. Very. Not good.

Chapter 21:

Transcript under the cut:

Chapter 21: It's Called Scars so it Gonna Be Ass

- To be blunt, the constant need to reaffirm that yes, Edelgard went through terrible experimentation and that yes, they were very horrific, is tiring. This is chapter 21. The experiments occurred in chapter 2. Every single chapter between now and then have, at some point, mentioned that INDEED, Edelgard DID in fact go through horrific trauma. It is tiring to the reader to constantly have to reread the same thing - we know it happened. We know it was terrible. There's no need to constantly say so; we already understand as readers.

- "Every time the spark of life broke through Byleth’s blank face, it brought a flickering hope to the Flame Emperor’s heart." ->

- Firstly: Awkward use of the Flame Emperor epithet (its usage is on and off with how appropriate its been - this is off).

- Secondly: Once again, Byleth's face was rarely if ever blank. She was never the Ashen Demon, as even the last chapter showcased. The author is mistaking reservation with emotionlessness, which is simply wrong

- "There had been so many empty days and nights, without friendship, love or joy. With nothing to hope for, except someday, the peace of the grave." -> Suicidal tendencies: another trait that Edelgard doesn't have... (strikes against canon: 89)

- ...but Dimitri does. Counter: 12

- "Dimitri, too, was troubled by the thought, grasping the side of his head and frowning. As the spasm passed, he turned to Edelgard and smiled warmly." -> It seems a little callous to so casually toss Dimitri's symptoms into his interactions with others when such things simply don't occur in the canon interactions. It's not impossible, or strictly against canon, but it does not feel natural; it's more as though the author is shining bright neon signs that say DIMITRI HAS MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES than a genuine attempt at writing Dimitri's mental health issues. This is not the first time this sort of seemingly thoughtless showcasing of symptoms has happened (Noted separately: Dimitri having drastic mood swings)

- "No, this world must be ruled by humans…not cruel gods who ignored the prayers of little girls." -> This statement follows Edelgard internally chastising the actions of not gods, but the Children of the Goddess. This is a weaselly attempt at dodging Edelgard's racist beliefs that Nabateans should not be allowed positions of power by shifting the belief to apply to miscellaneous gods instead. While not inaccurate per se - she does also canonically believe that gods should have no power in human affairs - it is not honest

- "Byleth nodded with childlike simplicity. “We should all try to get along.”" -> Again describing Byleth as childlike and/or innocent. Counter: 3

- For those curious: yes, the rat scene is implemented, yes it is sloppy, yes it is out of character for Claude - so much so that it is being noted separately - and yes it is forced to all hell

- What will be noted here, however, is that this is yet another instance of a man being demeaned/humiliated for the honor of a woman. See quote: "Byleth was on him in an instant, a tempest forming in the sea of her blue eyes. “That isn’t funny.” She crossed her arms sternly. “Jokes are about bringing people together...about making them smile. Right now, the only person laughing is you.”" with Claude reacting awkwardly. Once again, Man Bad Woman Good

- In a showcasing of a complete lack of self-awareness within the fic: "“Maybe if you’d have taught the Deer instead…but since you seem to have no ambitions outside of cleaning up Edelgard’s messes…”" -> This is Claude being portrayed as the bad guy, not the one being completely and utterly right

- " She slapped Edelgard on the back, and smiled heartily. “I agree, Dimitri!” Edelgard grimaced, trying to hide the fact her teacher had just struck the wound she had received during the mock battle." -> As well as where undoubtedly countless scars would be, yes? Scars that still cause Edelgard pain? In fact, Edelgard has been slapped on the back by Byleth and Jeralt numerous times before, and yet expresses no pain or discomfort.

- Another thing, that I had not noted though ought to have: Edelgard, a victim of sexual assault (in this fic), rarely seems to mind people touching her. She gets a little surprised if someone tries to get her attention with touch, yes, but Byleth's constant unprompted and random touching of Edelgard is never said to do anything but bring warmth and joy and comfort to Edelgard. It seems as though Edelgard suffering through sexual assault is just another source of trauma for the author to dump onto her for nothing more than pity points

- This is incredibly harsh to say, yes, and I would usually refrain from attributing such harshness onto a piece of text, but remember that Edelgard's scars only cause her pain when it's convenient, that she only experiences headaches when it's convenient, that she experiences PTSD episodes (when Claude mentions the rat) when it's convenient (note that in this fic he does it outside of battle, where her getting triggered wouldn't compromise her chances at victory). Edelgard not being touch averse and being a victim of sexual assault are not inherently something bad - survivors react to trauma differently, after all - but it is another in a steadily longer line of instances where Edelgard is simply given trauma for the sake of making her pitiable to the reader and the love interest, not something that Edelgard genuinely has to struggle with.

- "As Claude and Dimitri looked at their classmate expectantly, Edelgard was wracked with another bout of guilt. Deep in her soul, the princess knew these peaceful days would end soon. When that happened, no feast or vows of friendship could make up for the chaos and horror she would unleash. It would be better to pull away, close off her heart, rather than fuel the flames of her inevitable betrayal." -> Aka, "Feel bad for me, I feel guilty for planning to cause the death and ruination of countless innocents' lives all because I convinced myself that my way is the only way to get things done my way without ever actually trying to see if more peaceful ways could have worked. I'm going to orphan children, force families to fight each other, have the land be rampaged by banditry, and overall bring chaos onto these days that I ADMIT ARE PEACEFUL all because I feel that my way would be better. Wah wah pity me but I don't wanna be pitied I promise wah wah."

- "Byleth shrugged with a characteristic blend of innocence and spirit. “I guess I just like winning.” She began to blush and grabbed Edelgard’s hand. "It's so exciting! I’ve never had anyone other than Papa to celebrate with before!”" -> Byleth = innocent/childlike. Counter: 4

- The fic likes to reaffirm again and again that Byleth is "now" only acting like this due to Edelgard's presence in her life. Note also these statements written previously: "Every day, [Edelgard] was watching the person she loved grow and change. Become who she always was supposed to be." This, perhaps unintentionally, again enforces the "Lesbian Love is Pure and Innocent" trope; these wlw are only allowed to be their good girl, innocent selves - who they were always supposed to be - due to the pure lesbian love they have found with one another

- Count Bergliez didn't know of the experiments initially, but he eventually found out and did nothing to stop them, fleeing from a young and tortured El who was pleading for him to save her - Unnecessarily painting Count Bergliez as a spineless coward too afraid of Duke Aegir to save a child in pain

- Once again, a man fails to save a woman and further traumatizes her

- It should be noted that Bergliez is fearful not for his own life, but for that of his children, who were the ones Duke Aegir threatened. He, very similar to Ionius, cannot save Edelgard, except Bergliez (unlike Ionius) has a tangible, physical, explainable reason as to why he couldn't, and yet it is him who is painted as the bad guy, not Ionius. He is worthy of Edelgard's scorn and hatred, but Ionius only receives a begrudging feeling of betrayal from Edelgard that she feels guilty for harboring, even though he failed her far more than Bergliez failed her.

- "Daughters must always be loyal to their fathers" trope

- "No decent person thought the things Edelgard did. Just as her body had been twisted and shattered by the experiments, her mind bore terrible scars. Scars that the monster kept hidden, so she could walk in the world of men." -> Dehumanizing oneself as a monster as well as having violent thoughts (that specifically stem from trauma) one feels guilty for harboring are not traits Edelgard shows in canon... (strikes against canon, 90, 91)

- ...but Dimitri does. Counter: 13, 14

- "world of men?" Did the author perhaps mean "world of man," as in mankind? Keep note of

- The reason as to why Bergliez is said to have witnessed young El's tortured state and did nothing to help her is revealed: in canon, he dislikes her. It is blatantly and objectively said that he and Edelgard share a mutual displeasure in the other's company. What this fic had him do will be used as an excuse as to why he doesn't hate her, since no one is allowed to dislike Edelgard on the "good" side

- Edelgard, upon being asked if revenge is the reason she is doing what she's doing (reuniting Fodlan): "“No.” Edelgard put her hand to her chin thoughtfully. “I think for a long time, it was…but after a while, I realized that revenge wouldn’t satisfy me.” She looked at the blue sky above. “After you go through that much suffering…when you beg for help, day after day, and no one cares...you realize that nothing will ever truly make you feel safe again. The only thing I want is for this madness to end.”" -> This is internally inconsistent. See chapter 15 note: ""You know why they created me in the first place.” / “To reunite Fódlan,” spat Hubert. “It was all my father talked about.” / “And I will give it to them. "" This directly connects Edelgard's want to reunite Fodlan to the wants of her tormenters (as this states she is doing it out of spite). Note how Hubert spits at the idea of reuniting Fodlan, and how it was all his father - portrayed as a villain - talked about. This is not what this Edelgard wants, at least not of her own independent want. Earlier in this very chapter, Edelgard internally states a want to hurt Bergliez for leaving her behind. To say that she now no longer thinks vengeance would satisfy her, or that none of the reason that she is doing everything she does is out of a want for revenge, is ridiculous

- Edelgard to Bergliez, upon being asked what will happen to him and his family should Edelgard rise to power: "“All those who distinguish themselves will be rewarded. Given your history, I have little doubt you will be among them.” She nervously played with her white gloves. “All I ask is that when I seize back control of the throne, I can count on the military’s support.”" -> Yes, all who distinguish themselves to Edelgard, for Edelgard's cause, that Edelgard can see and/or know of. How likely is it that a poor farmer who is exceptional at fighting will actually be noticed by Edelgard and be given the credit he deserves, when others who may not be as meritable but do have some merit have the connections to show themselves directly in front of Edelgard? What means will Edelgard give the poor soldiers (that she or Byleth aren't already friends with, notably Dorothea and Leonie) that will allow them to be able to be seen by her and have their merits recognized? Edelgard is the one who says who gains power after all, so it is her they must prove themselves to, but how can they realistically do that?

- What about professions that are not immediately beneficial to Edelgard's cause, such as the arts? How will they fare in Edelgard's society, when their works and talents yield no tangible, objective results (such as, say, farming)?

- Something the fic will address?

- Edelgard does not nervously do anything in front of those she is trying to negotiate with in canon, not even Thales. Strikes against canon: 92

- "[Bergliez] could only laugh in response. “I think we’re going to get along rather well, my lady…and the other?”" -> Except Bergliez and Edelgard don't get along well, ever. Pre ts they are stated to dislike each other, which continues even onto post ts with Bergliez being the only noble Edelgard couldn't bring to heel. Strikes against canon: 93

- As predicted: No one is allowed to dislike Edelgard on the "good" side

- Literally forgot Hubert was with Edelgard and Bergliez lmao

- Ionius tried to consolidate power to be rid of the consort system due to his unending love for Anselma -> A ridiculous idea, plain and simple. Ionius was Emperor. If he wished to be rid of the consort system there was no need for him to try and take away all power from the other Imperial houses.

- If Ionius truly loved Anselma, why did he allow her to be exiled from the Empire? Why didn't he step in and use his influence as Emperor to help her?

- Edelgard, when she is Emperor - passed down a supposedly empty crown, at that - showcases the all-encompassing power the title of Emperor truly holds to one willing to use that power. That Ionius supposedly wanted to do all of these reforms and yet nothing at all was done, ever (save for ruining Houses Hrym and Ordelia, something even this fic has as canon), if Ionius did want to make these reforms, means that he was too spineless and cowardly to truly go through with trying to pass them. This again unintentionally showcases how awful a ruler and weak-willed a person Ionius was when he had power when trying to paint him in this righteous light.

- Lambert was stated to be trying to pass reforms before he died in canon, not Ionius. From parents to the children, the author is attributing traits from Lambert onto Ionius just as he (author's confirmed gender is male) attributes traits from Dimitri onto Edelgard

- " Her father and mother…she had thought their romance a fairy tale-a story from her father to make a motherless child feel valued. But…they truly had loved each other." -> Edelgard does believe Ionius when he told her of the story of when he and Anselma (supposedly) met each other. There is nothing to indicate that Edelgard thought it to be a lie: in fact, in canon: "But I choose to believe there was genuine love between them." Strikes against canon: 94

- It seems as though finally, after around 18 chapters, Edelgard's scars will finally cause her genuine inconvenience due to her complex about them as well as her trust issues. She has a gash on her back from the Battle of Eagle and Lion, but will not have it treated if Manuela isn't the healer, and yet the woman is occupied dealing with the rest of the students who were injured. How will this fic deal with this?

- Ingrid, referring to her and Sylvain: ""We just switched from Felix lecturing us all day to listening to Edelgard moralizing, didn’t we?"" -> The author is trying to compare a childhood friend whose friends have had years to get used to their barbed tongue to a stranger that directly insults the dreams of one of them. Something which Ingrid canonically hates having be done to her, even from Felix, a childhood friend. Once again, Ingrid being so casual about Edelgard being so disrespectful of her dreams is out of character. Strikes against canon: 95

- "Sylvain shook his head knowingly, ignoring Felix’s truly alarming scowl. “You should have seen his face, Edelgard. Dimitri would go on and on about this girl he met when he was a kid…and Felix would complain about her for hours!” He looked at Felix and smiled. “For all his whining about the “Boar,” nobody loves Dimitri more than him.”" -> Oh? A romantic gay male relationship presenting itself within the fic?

- Another vision of SS experienced by Edelgard. Word from a nameless guard: "The woman, Byleth, leading their forces... She’s not human! She killed half my battalion with one swing of that sword of hers. She didn’t speak, she didn’t shout, she didn’t even change her expression!” The panicked man was teetering on the edge of hysteria. “All those people rallying around her, and it’s like she doesn’t care at all. Like she's a walking corpse!"" -> Obviously saying that Byleth becomes the Ashen Demon if not allowed to be with Edelgard.

- Unintentional statement: Byleth can't be the pure innocent (lesbian) woman without Edelgard's (lesbian) love granting her purity, reverting her to a monstrous, corrupt demon incapable of humanity

- See chapter 20 note: "Implying that choosing SS - aka, choosing the Nabateans - makes Byleth less human. Intentional?" Confirmed to be intentional. Also false: in canon, even when accounting for CF's lesser chapter count, Byleth emotes far more on SS than on CF, which matches with CF having Edelgard call Byleth detached in their A support. Strikes against canon: 96

- The same nameless soldier, same context: "And those Faerghus kids…” / Edelgard leaned forward in her chair. “Ingrid…Sylvain…what of them?” / “They…they were animals. Screaming and ranting about revenge for the King.” -> Is the author really demonizing Sylvain and Ingrid for (potentially!) being mad at Edelgard for murdering one of their childhood friends? Is that really the depths the Edelgard worship will sink to, that friends becoming enraged at a friend's unjust murder from a warlord is being portrayed as something sad for the warlord? Just what else should Edelgard be pitied for?

- "The scared girl desperately tried to drown out the thoughts that reverberated incessantly. / They’re going to despise us…it’s destiny. And how could they not? If we were truly good, the Goddess would have saved us…protected us. But She didn’t. The Goddess took Mother. She took our family. And soon, She’ll take everything else we love. She hates us. / It’s what we deserve." - Now confirmed that Edelgard hears multiple voices in her head tormenting her. That trait that, once again, Edelgard does not have... (Strikes against canon: 97)

- ...but Dimitri does. This is the third time this chapter that this has happened, and far from the only chapter to display such baffling characterization of Edelgard via Dimitri's traits. It is nonsensical.

- " Why had [Edelgard] even been born at all? Nonexistence would have been preferable to watching every faint dream be dashed, to suffering alone over and over. She was just…so tired of being alive." -> Once. Again. Suicidal tendencies/thoughts is not a trait Edelgard shows in canon... (Strikes against canon: 98)

- ...but Dimitri does. The fourth! The fourth time in one chapter the author desperately wanted to just write Dimitri!

- If the fic wanted to take Edelgard in a different direction than canon does and has her display some of these traits, it would be more passable, but this fic is under the delusion that it is in any way following canon closely, especially in regards to Edelgard, and so this can only be seen as a desperate attempt from the author to have Edelgard be sympathetic by donning the skin of an actually sympathetic character such as Dimitri

- "Edelgard looked at herself in the mirror. The back of her academy uniform was stained red, the rhythmic, soft dripping of blood assaulting the princess’ ears." -> And no one commented on this? No one was worried? Not Ingrid, Sylvain, and Felix, who were sitting right by her? Not Lysithea, who saw her take the blow to her back and never get it healed? Not Dimitri, who delivered the blow? It just so happened that literally no one at all noticed this?

- Byleth literally slapped Edelgard on the back earlier? Wouldn't her hand come back red with blood if it were seeping through the uniform?

** The scene that follows the previous note is too long to quote, despite how truly terrible it is. Long quotes, even extremely long quotes, have been presented in these notes before, but the length this quotation would be if the full extent of it were written here would be a mess, and quite frankly, at that point it would do one better to simply go to the fanfiction itself and read the text from there. With the context received from these notes, if one wishes to see the words for themselves, go to chapter 21 of The Emperor and the Goddess, enter Ctrl + F (or Find in Page on mobile devices), and enter the phrase "Byleth crossed her arms, clearly frustrated" verbatim. The following note will not be quoting the entire scene from the fic (merely summarizing it), though context is needed to understand how truly bad the scene is. **

- To have hope in this fic performing anything correctly is proving to be a fool's dream, for it has yet to do anything right; that includes the aforementioned gash upon Edelgard's back. As stated, it did not draw the attention of those who were sitting around her nor did it draw the attention of the one who witnessed the injury itself, nor of the one who delivered the injury itself, so no one commented on the gaping, bleeding wound Edelgard was "hiding" from everyone as she turned her (bleeding) back to them and left for the baths to clean up (it must be heavily stressed: immediately after leaving it is revealed that the blood is seeping through her uniform). As she was washing - naked, of course - Byleth just so happened to step into the baths with only a towel wrapped around her "for modesty," much to the horror of Edelgard, for she does not want Byleth seeing her scarred body. A slight argument arises between the two over Edelgard getting her injuries checked, before Byleth warns Edelgard that she will go to Rhea and force her to go to the infirmary should Edelgard continue to refuse treatment, which drives Edelgard past the brink. She raises her arms from the bathwater and presents her scars (""Fine!... If you want to see so badly, here!""), to the horror of Byleth ("Byleth Eisner was not a woman given to strong emotional reactions, but she staggered back, hands over her mouth."). Edelgard cries in hysteria, fear of her beloved teacher running away in disgust over her ugly, mutilated body overwhelming her. But Byleth, childlike in her innocence, shared that she too is scarred in strange ways, and that she too is scared of failing those around her - that she has no ambitions save to help and protect those around her. Byleth reveals that it is Edelgard whom Byleth looks up to for always being so strong and always moving forward, and shows that without Edelgard Byleth wouldn't know how to handle the pressure everyone else puts on her. The exchange ends with Byleth reassuring Edelgard that she is beautiful and not the monster she thinks she is.

- There is no nice way of putting this: this is a classic example of how not to write someone opening up to another about something. Edelgard views herself as weak, ugly, repulsive, a monster, shameful, but it is Byleth's love and affection that gives her comfort and warmth, that gives her hope of something more. It forces Byleth to behave wildly out of character (the author can try to excuse this with "well she wouldn't normally behave like this!" all he wants, it doesn't matter when it goes against the base, canonical Byleth. Strikes against canon: 99) in order for Edelgard's scarred body to be seen as something that is repulsive, that is ugly, that is stained, so much so that the pure, childlike, innocent Byleth couldn't stand to see something so tainted. And yet it is that same pure, childlike, innocent Byleth's pure, innocent, childlike love that pushes away the pain of Edelgard's scars for just that moment. Other characters become suddenly blind and/or forgetful of Edelgard's obvious, bleeding wound so that it is Byleth who can be the one to save Edelgard with her pure, innocent, childlike presence and her pure, innocent, childlike uncertainty about her own insecurities (but only when it is convenient for Edelgard, as even Byleth didn't noticed the gaping, bleeding wound until she was alone with Edelgard where no one could interrupt their bonding moment). This scene is inorganic and forced, ham-fisting Edelgard and Byleth in the same room - the wash room, where both are either naked or nearly naked - so that Byleth is the one to find Edelgard, no one else. No one was worried enough about the sudden exit Edelgard took from the conversation she was having to follow her and make sure she was alright, and Byleth just so happened to enter the baths right after Edelgard. The scene is, to be frank, insulting.

- There have been a couple of joking references to a book titled Stones to Abigail in these notes, but in all seriousness, this scene plays unsettlingly similar to a scene in said book, where a scarred girl who is naked reveals her "ugly" and "revolting" scarred body to the love interest, who goes on to soothe and comfort the naked girl as best they can. The resemblance is uncanny

- Byleth described as childlike/innocent. Counter: 5

- Edelgard, in canon, never expresses feeling herself to be ugly, or repulsive, or a monster. Strikes against canon: 100

- Again, Edelgard's scars are only important when they are convenient - this time, in helping develop the romantic relationship between her and Byleth

- There are ways in which scars can be utilized without being problematic, but certainly not when this much focus is placed on them and yet they are only truly present when they cannot hinder Edelgard.

- Perhaps particularly insulting is this phrase from Edelgard: "Did she actually love Byleth at all, or just being saved by her?" Yes, Edelgard, you do simply want to be saved by Byleth, because that is precisely what the narrative has been drilling into the reader's heads ever since Byleth showed herself. Byleth is Edelgard's light, Byleth is Edelgard's hope, Byleth gives Edelgard back her humanity, Byleth is Edelgard's one source of joy, Byleth is Edelgard's entire life, and nothing, absolutely nothing in this fic has shown this to ever be a bad thing. This dependence on Byleth to bring Edelgard joy at the near complete expense of everyone else has been propped up as something romantic, and yet it's now, 21 chapters and over 85K+ words in, that we're supposed to believe that this was actually Edelgard being unhealthy? Even though the author himself said that this was what he enjoyed about their relationship, how much they found each other in each other? Even though we see what the author thinks would happen to the two of them should they separate - Edelgard, lonely and afraid without her beloved teach, and Byleth, the Ashen Demon who cares for nothing without her beloved student - in her visions of SS? This is a joke

- It cannot be overstated that Byleth came to the bathhouses completely independently of Edelgard. She did not come to specifically see her because she followed her out of worry for Edelgard due to her injury - she only knows that Edelgard's injured in the first place due to seeing bloody bandages that Edelgard removed in the bathhouse, before Byleth arrived.

- Author's notes: "On Bergliez, we find out very little in-game, but he 1) offers himself for execution so his men can go free in SS and 2) seems to be actually competent at his job. I thought a nuanced portrayal was more interesting, since I've been writing Aegir as the absolute worst person in the world." -> Note: this is what the author believes to be a nuanced take on someone. Someone who likes Edelgard entirely and does nearly whatever they can to help her, but they did one thing that's morally gray (leaving a child behind to save his own children from the same fate) that is portrayed as objectively bad, so now they are nuanced. While perhaps this sort of character would be truly nuanced in better hands, as it is with his actions being portrayed as something that is obviously so completely and utterly wrong and him someone who deserves complete and utter condemnation - and yet Ionius, who does far worse for far less understandable reasons, gets a comparative slap on the wrist - it causes confusion as to Edelgard's lines. Bergliez seeing her the one time and never helping her is enough for her to want to hurt him as she was hurt, but her father repeatedly coming to and "being forced" to watch her actively be tortured and doing nothing does little to invoke similar depths of resentment? Even granting the idea that "she gives more slack to her father," Ionius is objectively and far worse than Bergliez, down to doing hard things to protect their children, and yet it is only Bergliez who is shined in this unpleasant a light

- To be clear, Bergliez's decision was not a good one, but understandable. It is a gray decision to make. But notice how he is called "gray" and "nuanced" and yet Ionius is nearly completely innocent, as described by the author himself, despite their being no given explaination as to why "he was a figurehead" should be a good enough reason to wash him literally standing there and watching as his children - some of whom aren't even teens yet - get slowly tortured and killed.

- "There are many localization changes I understand (Byleth wanting to get drunk after the battle is one of them), but Treehouse's decision to remove Ionius' entire reason for power centralization (eliminating the consorts) was a big, big mistake." -> Given the history of this author's grasp on the Japanese language, this needs to be checked, as he cannot be trusted as a source as to whether this is true

******* Notes of Claude mischaracterization: Chapter 21, section 1, paragraphs 1, 21 & 23, 27 *******

[beelovesnct]

𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐩 [𝐞𝐩. 𝟑]

— episode 3

The episode begins with the introduction of the two trained professionals who will be evaluating the personalities of the members; Aiko could be seen bowing and clapping respectfully together with the boys.

They began by introducing what the HEXACO test was, and when asked if they had any idea of what it could be, Jisung answered that it might be related to the MBTI, while Jaemin and Jeno revealed they thought it was for psychopaths (with Aiko scoffing and commenting, "You're both crazy," under her breath.)

Before proceeding with their assessment, both professionals put out a disclaimer that the test was not one hundred percent accurate, rather simply something that a person could relate to and say, "Oh I feel that way sometimes,"

Jaemin's assessment: Mr. My Way

They first examined Jaemin's character, explaining that he's someone who abides by his own rules and standards, and makes it clear whenever those are not met. In short, he's a character who does things his way.

Immediately, the dreamies reacted with subtle shock, amazed at how close the results were to his actual personality; even Aiko was nodding her head along with their explanation, especially about how he was such a complicated character overall and had a hard time dissecting what he was actually like.

The host noticed this, and asked why she was nodding so much; Aiko then stated that "Even I'm surprised by Jaemin every time; he's like an onion that can reform its layers, sometimes he shows everything and other times nothing at all."

The professionals and even Jaemin himself were surprised by Aiko's specification, "That's exactly how we would point it out." They complimented her use of words.

Jeno's assessment: A scholar who gets hurt easily

For Jeno, they revealed that he's the type of person who holds everything in; so when asked about his infamous nickname, "Jeno-jam", he revealed that he was actually hurt the first few times when he was teased as such, only getting over it when he finally viewed it as a positive thing—something that was unique only to him.

When asked who called him that name, Renjun admitted that besides Aiko, everyone called him that even way back in their trainee days to which Jeno then confirmed.

Aiko was suddenly asked why she didn't tease Jeno, she replied with a stutter, "H-He was funny then," to which Haechan immediately responded with "Don't lie," bringing laughter to everyone.

Regaining her flustered composure, Aiko tried explaining again, "Just, he's reminded by them anyway, me teasing him would be a waste of time," She shrugged her shoulders cooly, but it failed to conceal her true emotions as the tip of her ears started turning red; especially with Mark's revelation,

"Actually, Aiko came to me one night when we were preparing for debut, she told me if I could tell the kids to stop teasing Jeno because she was worried his confidence would decrease,"

A bunch of oohs and aahs came after the confession; Aiko rolled her eyes but covered her face after, earning a "Tsundere!" comment from Jaemin.

Jeno simply smiled and side-hugged Aiko who was still crouched over with her face in her hands.

Ako was once again complimented, making the host joke if she was doing this to get more screen time, to which the boys denied altogether, "Aiko is really like that, she's observant. She knows when we're having problems without us having even to tell her, she has like a detector of some sort." Renjun said with much sincerity, making everyone nod in understanding (and Aiko embarrassed again so she settled on putting her entire face on Jeno's shoulder).

With such timing, the professionals intervened that that was exactly what they got from Aiko's personality test as well, and so the segment moved to Aiko's examination.

Aiko's assessment: Individualistic Tsundere

After seeing Aiko's HEXACO results, the members let out a sound of surprise, as much like Jeno's, Aiko's chart was very unconventional.

"As we can see, Aiko-nim's results were a 3-3 situation; her humility, emotionality, and conscientiousness were very high, but her extroversion, openness, and agreeableness were all lower than what is of standard."

"This is the reason why we gave you the title, 'Individualistic Tsundere'", they continued, and once again, even just from the title, the members gasp and showed their agreement.

"You are very individualistic, and that simply means that you enjoy being alone, and you actually value your alone time. For that reason, you are very independent and often won't turn to others for help." They began their explanation, the set quiet as all of the dreamies paid attention to what they were saying about their precious member, only nodding whenever they agreed with what was revealed.

"Wah, why is that so accurate," Renjun commented, his voice low as he glanced at Aiko who has kept silent right from the start when her results were shared.

"I've heard that you're lazy, right? Fans call you a cat because you laze around too much," The comparison brought a smile to Aiko's face as she nodded, confirming their thoughts.

"But I think that you're not lazy at all; as a result of your low extraversion and high conscientiousness, you're very picky with what you put your efforts in. In short, you're practical. You share the same 'My Way' attitude with Jaemin-nim, that if something does not interest you, you tend to back off completely."

The dreamies, once more, portrayed an appalled expression; this time, even Aiko was not excused as she felt immensely exposed to that particular revelation.

"Yah, this is so crazy," Mark chimed in, shaking his head in disbelief.

The professionals continued, seemingly pleased with the reaction, "There were some essay portions in the test, and Aiko-nim answered some of them—which I assume was in line with your interests, with essays that were good enough for college applications."

"Like with the David Statue, she made references to the art of human anatomy, and even stated possible reasons as to why Michaelangelo sculpted it; it was an amazing read,"

"But for those that she might have not found so interesting, she simply stated some simple phrases that weren't at all expounded."

"One question asked if you would steal money in the instance that you would never get caught, Aiko-nim simply stated, 'I'm rich enough, so no thank you.'" The disclosure didn't fail to bring smiles and laughter to both the members and hosts, finding Aiko's savage response too amusing. Aiko simply shook her head as she hid her face behind her hands once again, only regaining her composure once the topic was changed.

"It's also because of your lack of extroversion that you tend to hide how you care for others. You have really high emotionality, which means you have the tendency to be an empath—detecting whenever a person is down even if they don't show it; so you help them in any way you can—especially if they're important to you, but often would brush it off as nothing, hence we gave you the title, 'Tsundere'"

Jaemin nodded vigorously, displaying full-on his 'my way' attitude as he screamed his thoughts, "That's RIGHHHHHT."

The dreamies, though amused with Jaemin, sided with his thoughts, with Jisung declaring one particular story from their trainee days.

“Noona always sees right through any of us. She'd buy medicine from across the street during break times just so we won't have to suffer. She would then always lie that she already had those medicines with her, but she didn't know that we could see her right from the window."

At Jisung's confession, everyone visibly cooed; adoration in their eyes as they looked at Aiko (who waved her hands in front of her, trying to deny the accusation, but the dreamies won't let her have it). Jaemin, who was beside her, ruffled her hair fondly.

"With that, there are a lot of benefits with having you on the team, one of which is making sure that everybody's doing okay behind the scenes, but I do have a tip for you, Ms. Tsundere." The laughing seized, as the professional's tone was somber; Aiko listened intently, her face morphed into seriousness.

"Since you value independence, you have a tendency to keep all your problems in. You have no problem helping others, but you have a problem with them helping you. Remember that you are never a burden, so you can lean on others too."

For the nth time, all the dreamies portrayed an immense gesture of agreement, either commenting, "That's right, Aiko, stop holding everything in," "Be more like Jaeman"; or simply nodding their heads as they glanced at the neko-member, relieved that she heard those words outside of their own team (which means she'd probably take their advice since she views that there are no biases).

Aiko simply showed a smile, "I'll take that to heart, thank you." She responded politely.

The personality examination finished for Aiko and then continued to the other members until the host told everyone that it was the time for the next activity.

[red-talisman]

Some random, unbetaed snippets set during the Siji Manor arc in which I'm trying to process my Feelings about these two and about Wen Kexing's backstory. Spoilers for eps...mid-20s onward, I think, show canon only. CW for loudly implied, past, severe child abuse.

.

Even though Zhou Zishu has never slept so deeply beside another person since his master was still alive, he's too well-trained to forget just how dangerous the person at his side, ironically, actually is.

Every so often (when Chengling says something especially innocent, when sunlight glances a particular way off a kitchen knife, when Zhou Zishu smiles unprompted) he'll see Wen Kexing's eyes widen and his face go strangely blank, like a performer caught in the middle of switching out masks behind the curtain. It's the blankness that Zhou Zishu recognizes from the moments when Wen Kexing casually sets aside his gentlemanly front and leaves corpses in his wake.

The second most horrifying thing about it is the fact that Zhou Zishu can't sense any change in his qi - no focused heaviness of killing intent, no ozone tang of impending violence like a lightning strike. It's not because of the Nails slowly destroying his senses, either, but rather that this means Wen Kexing is either constantly on the edge of violence or the violence has simply settled so deeply that it's indistinguishable from his resting qi state.

The most horrifying thing about it, though, is what that implies about the years in which his shidi had been taken from him.

.

"In a faraway land," Wen Kexing whispers to him one night across the landscape of blankets between them, "there was a little dog who was taken by a demon king. One day, the demon king put him a cage with the other dogs, some little and some less so, with no food. When all the dogs cried for something to fill their bellies, the demon king laughed and told them that they had all the food they needed right there in the cage with them. The next morning, only the little dog was still alive, and he wasn't hungry any more. When the little dog begged to be let out, the demon king laughed again and said there was no need for that when there was still plenty of food left."

Earlier that day, Chengling had asked Wen Kexing where he learned to cook so well when not even the aunties in his sect knew how to use spices to cover the taste of meat that was still edible but on the edge of turning sour.

Wen Kexing stares at Zhou Zishu in the dim light of a lantern left by the window, eyes wide but his face not blank at all. Zhou Zishu smiles like a cracked window and reaches over to push the hair out of his face, letting his palm rest kindly on a sharp cheekbone.

.

The first time that the casual intimacy between them turns heated and hands slide inside of clothing, Zhou Zishu has to take a moment to chase down and silence the ghosts in his own head. When he finally lets out a breath and meets Wen Kexing's gaze, he realizes that the distance between them has suddenly widened into an abyss that he can't see the bottom of.

Without knowing where the traps are hidden, Zhou Zishu casually lets his body tilt against Wen Kexing's in a way that puts Wen Kexing at a higher eye level and doesn't block the range of either of his hands. There's a tension in Wen Kexing's body that makes Zhou Zishu's instincts want to reach for a weapon rather than a belt.

"Don't think this will get you out of making breakfast in the morning," Zhou Zishu scolds into Wen Kexing's shoulder, his teeth a relatively safe handspan away from Wen Kexing's throat, as though nothing fundamental between them has changed. Nothing has, really.

It takes a few breaths, but eventually Wen Kexing's body relaxes with the same careful mindfulness. "Wah, A-Xu," he whines, sounding almost normal, "my A-Xu, so cruel!"

Zhou Zishu scoffs. "Only when you want me to be, you spoiled brat."

Instead of the dramatic wailing that he expects, there's a pause, and then Zhou Zishu feels Wen Kexing silently shove his face into the thick hair piled loosely on top on Zhou Zishu's head and his arms under the shamelessly disheveled top layer of his robe.

It should feel weird or even invasive; Zhou Zishu has never been in the habit of so much touch unless it was for a mission or getting an excess of yang energy taken care of as efficiently as business allowed. But it doesn't, and to his own surprise and mixed emotions, he finds himself relaxing - naturally, this time- into the curl of Wen Kexing's body.

("It was never about pleasure, before," Wen Kexing whispers to him when there's no moon or lantern to soften the darkness.

(Zhou Zishu...could respond in a lot of different ways to everything that isn't being said. But it's late, and the Nails are aching, and neither of them can change the past.

("I don't know much about that either, but we have time to figure it out," he sighs drowsily.)

.

A small bird startles Zhou Zishu after lunch in the west courtyard. His senses of smell and taste are the worst by far, but sometimes his hearing will dip unexpectedly and the only way he can hide it is through lip-reading and suppressing any outward reaction. But when he doesn't hear the rustle of tiny wings, the sudden dart of the bird across his slowly narrowing peripheral vision makes him twitch and drop his wine cup.

Without missing a beat, Wen Kexing picks up a shelled piece of walnut from his stash and flicks it at the bird. The bird drops to the ground, dead.

"Well," says Zhou Zishu, reaching for the wine pot, "I suppose we have part of our dinner decided, then."

Wen Kexing blinks at him, then at the bird. Zhou Zishu wonders if he had even intended to act.

"A-Xu," he says, something evaluative in his tone, "how could you be so reckless? What if it'd been an assassin's bird? Or a messenger between two of our many enemies?"

"Then living here on a remote mountain surrounded by trees and wildlife is suddenly going to get a lot more interesting," he replies dryly.

"Perhaps I'll make you a feather bed, sewn with the finest silks and stuffed with only the softest feathers of our enemies' spies." Wen Kexing leans forward on an elbow over the table. "Perhaps I'll make lanterns from our enemies' skullcaps and the fat of their flesh to light your way at night so that you'll never stumble again. I'll set their heads on spears around the walls to scare away the evil spirits from your dreams."

"Aiya, what kind of man do you think I am that you would offer such ridiculous things?" This isn't about 'things' at all, Zhou Zishu knows, and doesn't look away from the bloody claws being held out in challenge. "I have my first shidi and my first disciple in the home of our master. What need do I have for anything else? If you want such things, you can take them somewhere else and come back when you're ready to be sensible about what I need."

Wen Kexing watches Zhou Zishu reach out to pick up one of his hands, turning it over to bare the wrist. They both know that, like this, even with half his martial arts gone, Zhou Zishu could slice through tendon and bone, open up a primary vein, block several key acupoints that would damage his internal energy before Wen Kexing could stop him.

Instead, Wen Kexing smiles and presses his bare wrist more firmly against Zhou Zishu's fingers. "I suppose A-Xu is right," he says softly.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Ayato Ecstasy [06]

Monologue

ーー During the days which followed,

both me and Ayato-kun continued to care for Cordelia together.

She was steadily heading towards recovery.

While Ayato-kun,

would throw nasty remarks at her once in a while,

he would not scorn like he did up till now.

Cordelia-san seemed to have picked up on that as well.

Of course, it would be difficult for the gap which has formed between them,

to be filled right away.

However, if they take it one step at a time.

And thenーー

Yui: ( The flowers in the garden...It’s fine if I pluck one of them, right? )

( I hope Cordelia will feel a little better after seeing this. )

*Knock knock*

Yui: ーー I’m coming in.

ー Yui enters Cordelia’s guest room

Cordelia: Oh dear...You’re finally here. A little late, no?

Yui: Y-You shouldn’t be up and moving yet...!

Cordelia: I can handle this much. Please do not underestimate me.

Yui: ( Hm...I’m worried though... )

A-Anyway, what were you doing? There’s a bunch of dresses laid out on the bed...

Cordelia: Aah...This is...

I was choosing a new dress. ーー For you, that is.

Yui: F-For me!?

Cordelia: Exactly.

This has been on my mind for quite some time, you see. You...Why don’t you wear something a little more alluring? Like me.

Yui: Um...

Cordelia: Listen...You’re no child anymore (1), so you have to become a little more assertive.

When I was around your age, I could already no longer count all the guys I had made fall for me on the fingers of both hands, you know?

Or perhaps you do have a guy or two? You just can’t admit it in front of Ayato...?

Yui: I-I don’t!

Cordelia: Oh, what a shame. Your face is not half bad, but I suppose guys just have no spine nowadays.

Nfu~ If you doll yourself up a little, I’m sure they will come flocking to you in no time.

Good shoes make you want to go to good places, no?

And so, you are brought a little closer...Until one day, you suddenly run into each other.

You shouldn’t let that chance slide.

Yui: B-But, I already have Ayato-kuーー

Cordelia: That doesn’t matter. Go ahead and have some fun with other guys? A secret or two only adds to a woman’s beauty after all.

Yui: Wha...!?

Cordelia: Nfufu~ Oh come on, don’t blush over something like that.

Either way...Nnー Let’s see...Seems like you really are a Chichinashi, so we should go for something which can cover that up a little...

Yui: ( Uu...Now even Cordelia is calling me that... )

( ...However...It’s safe to say we’ve grown a little closer, right...? )

( Also, speaking of which... )

( Ayato-kun picked a dress for me the other day as well, didn’t he...? )

Cordelia: ...? What’s so funny?

Yui: U-Um...It’s nothing.

Cordelia: Oh well. More importantly...What’s that flower in your hand?

Yui: This is...I wanted to show it to you.

Cordelia: To me? ...Hm...

Well, unfortunately for you, I happen to be more fond of myself, finding my own appearance to far exceed any flower’s beauty.

Therefore, that flower...Here.

*Rustle*

Yui: ( Wah! She put it in my hair... )

Cordelia: Nfu~ It fits you rather well, you know?

Yui: T-Thank you very much...

( ...She complimented me... )

Ayato: Oi, whatcha doin’?

You shitty hag! Don’t be messin’ with her hair by puttin’ junk in it!

Yui: ( J-Junk!? )

Cordelia: Haah, I guess it does not matter how nicely you dress up when the guy is incapable of appreciating it?

Ayato: Aahn!?

Yui: C-Come on, you two!

( They still get into an argument every time they meet but...This kind of banter should be fine, right? )

Cordelia: ーー Ayato.

Ayato: ...? W-What?

Cordelia: You should learn how to praise a lady.

Ayato: ...Shut up...

Cordelia: Listen to me. I do not intend to play the perfect mother at this point, but I will tell you one thing.

Yui: ( Cordelia...? )

Cordelia: Ever since you were little...I’ve always told you to become the very best, right?

Ayato: Yeah. So much so I’ve grown tired of hearin’ it.

Cordelia: But, I will say it once more. Aim for the top.

Ayato: ...Tsk.

Cordelia: Make her the happiest girl on earth.

I shall have you be the number one in the whole world.

Ayato: You...

Cordelia: Well, I’m pretty sure reaching Karlheinz’ level is simply out of your league?

Ayato: Fuck offー...

ーー I’m gonna surpass the shitty Old Man in no time.

Yui: ( Guys... )

Cordelia: ...I’m relieved to hear that.

Ayato: What? Why do you say that as if you’re ‘bout to die soon?

Cordelia: ...

Yui: U-Um...?

Cordelia: Exactly, I will disappear sooner or later.

Yui: Wha...?

Ayato: ...What do you mean?

Cordelia: Fufu, that’s nothing to be surprised about, is it? In fact, it is much stranger that I am standing here alive right now.

My physical body only exists due to that despicable man’s...Due to Carla’s powers.

Ayato: His...

Cordelia: Exactly. Therefore, he can decide over my life and death.

However...I can feel myself weakening day by day.

I would not be surprised if I were to vanish any moment now.

Yui: ...No way...

I...don’t want that...I mean, we finally...

Cordelia: ...

Ayato: ...I’ll do somethin’ ‘bout it.

Cordelia: Oh? Hearing those kind of heartwarming words from a child to their parent makes me sick, so please say no more.

Furthermore...It’s no use. You can’t stop him.

Above all...I’m not afraid of disappearing in the slightest.

Death is considered a blessing to Vampires, is it not?

Yui: ( But...! )

Cordelia: ーー Yui. More importantly, would you please pour me a cup of tea?

I want to spend my time elegantly, till I take my final breath.

Yui: ...

Cordelia: Well then, I’ll be counting on you. Make it mind-blowingly delicious, okay?

Yui: ...Yes...

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the entrance hall

Ayato: ...

Yui: ( Ayato-kun... )

Selection

→ Stand in silence

Yui: ( I don’t know what to say to him... )

Ayato: ...Tsk.

→ Gently embrace him (♡)

Yui: ( Embracing him is about the only thing I can do but... )

*Rustle*

Ayato: ...Ugh.

...It’s so lame but for some reason...I really needed this right now.

Ayato: Yui. Listen, I...

I actually...

...Tsk. Why did...?

Yui: ...

Richter: Cordelia! What are you doing...!? 

Cordelia: Shut...up!!

Yui: ( W-What!? It’s coming from outside...! )

Ayato: ...Let’s go, Yui!

Yui: Y-Yeah!

ー The two of them run outside into the garden

Yui: Hey!! What is going on over here!?

Cordelia: ...Uu.

Haah...Richter. We got discovered because you were taking forever.

Ayato: Oi! What are you tryin’ to do!?

Cordelia: What, you ask? Like I said...I’m trying to part with this world.

But...

However!

If I’m going to vanish...I want to...see Karlheinz...

And then...I want to know...the truth...!

If he truly only married me for my blood...

Or if he actually loved me!?

Yui: ( Cordelia... )

Cordelia: Come on, Richter...This is my final request.

If you love me...Take me to Karlheinz.

Yui: Y-You can’t! Not in your current condition...!!

Cordelia: Silence!!

Yui: ...Ugh.

Cordelia: ...I’m begging you...Richter...You really...are the only person I can rely on still...

Richter: Cordelia...

Cordelia: Please...

Richter: ...As you wish. If that is what you desire.

Yui: Don’t go...!

ー Richter and Cordelia leave

Yui: Ah...!

Ayato: Fuck...We’re goin’ after them!!

Yui: Yeah...! But...Where could Karlheinz-san be...?

Ayato: ーー Eden.

We’ll find him there.

Monologue

Eden.

It is said that at this place named ‘Paradise’ (楽園),

Karlheinz-san resides.

I wonder what kind of place it is?

I was too terrified to even imagine (想像) it.

Even so...I have to go.

I internally scolded myself,

as I could nearly feel my body tremble from fear,

before taking a large step forward. 

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) Literally she says that Yui is around the right age, implying that she’s ready to start engaging in relationships with the opposite sex.

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

<- [ Ecstasy 05 ] [ Ecstasy 07 ] ->

[kuroosweakness]

emergency request (it's okay if it's delayed i don't mind, take your time (: ) kuroo, kenma and oikawa comforting their chubby reader who's really insecure because of their middle eastern family always commenting on the readers body? Which results in a huge fight and the reader just needs comfort. It's okay if you can't do this i don't mind 🥺❤️❤️

kuroo, kenma, and oikawa comforting their chubby s/o who feels insecure

a/n: i feel your request a bit too much :’ i’m gonna give you a giant bear hug <3 

kuroo: 

- kuroo is your go-to person. whether you need some comforting or simply want someone to walk you to a coffee shop, he’s the one you go to 

- it sucks when the people who are supposed to support you are the ones putting you down. in this case, your family keeps making comments about your body. it’s my body, it’s none of your business, you frustratedly rub your hands against your face. before you knew it, a full-on argument broke out and it all started with your family’s unnecessary comments

- “kuroo...” you say over the phone 

- “hm? what’s wrong, kitten” 

- “...i didn’t say anything was wrong” 

- “when you say my name it’s usually kuroo~ or ku-ro or babe...it’s never kuroo... so tell me, what’s wrong?”

- you take in a deep breath before words start to tumble out, “i got into a bad fight with my family. i didn’t mean to get into a fight but they just kept saying all that stuff about my body and i had to say something about it. the more they say, the more i feel like i need to change. maybe they’re right :’(” 

- you hear a sigh and can almost see your boyfriend run his hands through his hair, “i know a lot of boyfriends will say things like you’re perfect in my eyes but when i say it, i really do mean it” 

- the phone line goes silent as you take a moment to blush at his words, “you don’t really mean perfe-” 

- “yes i do. the dictionary definition of perfect is... hold up let me pull it up...having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be. that’s literally you, you fit perfectly. can’t argue with the dictionary, can you?” there goes his notorious smirk 

- you open your mouth to speak but your brain and heart just can’t seem to think of the right words to say “...you must be the dictionary version of the perfect boyfriend then” a big grin creeps onto your face 

- “you trying to flirt with me now, kitten? we can flirt later, i promise, but let’s go back to your family’s commentary first. don’t listen to what they say. their opinions don’t matter because at the end of the day who’s most important? you. the people who truly cares won’t care talk like that. tell them to stop if they continue; stand up for yourself, alrighty? if they don’t stop...come back to me again and i’ll think of something. okay, back to flirting, what were you saying ;)” 

kenma: 

- “kenma...let’s say that person A’s family keeps making comments on person A’s body and person A got into a huge fight with them. and now person A is really insecure” you look up at kenma, who’s focused on his game 

- “as your boyfriend, you should at least tell me before you change your name to person A” 

- “wah, i didn’t say it was me...it’s just a possible scenario...” 

- kenma stops his game and looks at you like really? “i would tell person A to not let their comments get to them. person A’s family probably wants those comments to affect person A and person A shouldn’t let them get what they want”

- “...but it’s easier said than done... person A’s family will probably still continue to say those things and person A’s insecurity will get worse :(” 

- “has person A’s family ever watched Bambi? there’s a bunny that said, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say nothing at all. maybe person A’s family can learn a thing or two from the bunny” he turns his head sideways to look at you and cups half of your face with his hand, “for the record, i think perfect A has no reason to be insecure” 

- he presses a soft kiss on your forehead, pulls back and smiles, “is person A feeling better now?” 

oikawa: 

- oikawa has always been big on flattering you with his words, complimenting you at the most random times. why? he just likes it :) it doesn’t sit right with him when people have the audacity to make comments about you that aren’t positive 

- “y/n even though we’re video calling right now, i can tell something’s wrong” he says while leaning in super close to his front camera, as if he can possibly get any closer to you 

- “i just wish my family would stop talking about my body. i wish i can say it doesn’t affect me but it really does” you left out a heavy sigh as you slowly climb on your bed

- “...firstly, stop showing me your ceiling. i didn’t call to talk to your ceiling, y/n” 

- you roll your eyes with a small smile and faces your front camera to your face, “happy now?” 

- “...well, i wouldn’t say happy because i’m not with you but it’s better” he flashes you a grin, a grin that quickly fades when he remembers what you said, “what were you saying about your family and your body?” 

- “they keep making comments about my body...not the good kind of comments. and just early we got into a big fight about it” your voice is shakier than you intended it to be

- “ignore them, don’t let their negativity get to you babe, you’re better than that. if you want commentary, come to me so i can shower you in the compliments i’ve prepared” his eyes begins to glow, “i’ve got a whole list, all written down right here. okay number one: when i’m with you, i feel like i’m in a whole new world...partial credit to aladdin” he looks up from his sheet of paper, his eyes searching for a hint of a smile on your face

- a small laugh escapes your mouth, “really? a whole new world? that’s so cliche of you” 

- “at least i got you to smile” he playfully huffs, “but seriously, next time they say something, just say no one asked and walk away unbothered as you should. i said that phrase to iwa-chan once but quickly apologized ...or else i wouldn’t be here today”

[bound-writings]

Hey hey! I was wondering if you could make some amane/hanako fluffy relationship head canons 👀

omg yes sure im sorry youve have to wait like a year for this im sorryyy also i have ur other request i pwomise ill do it soon 🥺❤️

Hanako Relationship HCS

Hanako is just,, the best boyfriend ever... He is just a wholesome ghost who just craves affection from his loved one. Hanako will always be initiating affection at you in a relationship. He’s all over you, a part of him is always touching a part of you. Whether it’s hand holding or pinky linking, he’s always near to you, as if he’s bound to you. One of his favorite pastimes is making you blush, so expect frequent surprise  He likes to squish your cheeks too, it’s adorable to him when he sees your lips all pursed up, furrowed eyebrows and flushed cheeks as you try to get him off you. If you turn the tables on him and squish his cheeks, well, prepare for the most cutest sight you’ll ever see in your whole life. Hanako gets very embarrassed and red when you show affection to him first. Not that he minds, of course, he’s just like “wow I actually have an amazing lover who actually wants to love and kiss me despite me a flipping ghost.” He won’t comment on your affection until a bit later, right now he’s too flustered to say any coherent words. He will most definitely tease you about it though. Ah yes, there is also a lot of teasing in this relationship. No worries, it’s just harmless fun though! He’ll tone it down if you’re uncomfortable.

When I say Hanako is attached to you, I mean it. Even during class, this boy is there with you because apparently he has nothing better to do. So be prepared for people to see you talking to thin air for a while. If you try to shoo him away, he’ll act like he’s hurt by your oh so cruel words and just hug you tighter. Another thing, Hanako loves back hugs!! There’s nothing more satisfying than him squeezing you, his face buried in the crook of your neck, and he wordlessly cherishes your existence. The part he loves the best, however, is when you back hug him! Sneak up on his boy and hug him and he’ll be like putty in your hands. How he loves when your chest presses up against his back, wisps of your hair caressing his body, and your warm breath tickling his neck. It just makes him completely melt in your arms… but don’t call him out on it, at least not later. If you mention it while you’re holding him, he’d snap out of his daze and immediately realize what’s happening, and try to break free from your grasp, all in all ruining the moment. So if you want some wholesome moments… just stay quiet for a bit. He also likes to put his hat on you, especially when you’re feeling down (he just thinks it’s mega cute seeing you wear his clothes.)

Hanako trusts you A LOT. He has never let anyone this close to him, not when he was alive and not now. Well, that’s until he met you. You are someone who he can confide in and not feel like he’s being a nuisance. Whenever he has flashbacks from when he was alive, you’re the first person he would go to for comfort. Even though he doesn’t tell you the full story, he still loves you. He just wants to protect you from his painful past and his brother. Call him “Amane” and he might cry harder and hold you for hours.

Hanako is quite comfortable with PDA. He will probably rub it in Yashiro’s face that he’s literally dead and can still get dates, leading to Kou trying to fight Hanako. You name it, he’s holding your hand, arm around your waist, quick pecks on your cheek around anyone and everyone. Now, he does get a little bit nervous whenever you initiate PDA because he knows he can get a bit blushy and therefore doesn’t want people like Kou blackmailing him for “acting like a schoolgirl in love.” There’s also a lot of pet names! Hanako’s vocabulary ranges quite far, but his favorite and most used names always tend to deal with food. He likes to call you honey, sweet, and sugar in particular and actually anything that makes you flush. Once he called you donut with the most affection he could muster but you got offended because like?? Who calls their partner a donut?? He got all embarrassed and had to explain that you looked as delectable as a donut and tasted as sweet as one. And he left apologetically because he felt kind of stupid but you were like?? Wow that was kind of romantic actually..

DONUTS. Teaching Hanako to make donuts is one of my favorite little headcanon. You were like?? Hanako-kun?? How do you love donuts so much but you have no clue how to make them? So now you took it upon yourself to teach your beloved ghost boyfriend how to make his favorite sweet treat! Now, it’s going to have to be a time where barely anyone is around because you don’t want people to see you screaming and laughing by yourself. Hanako will need a lot of supervision in the kitchen (thankfully he isn’t as bad as Teru.) Hanako is more interested in watching you make the donuts and then him eating them so you’re going to have to discipline this boy. Of course, he comes around and he actually has a good time with you! His favorite part is when he gets to lick the spoon with the frosting. He will also 100 percent throw flour on you which escalates into a full-blown fight and ends up with both of you looking like actual ghosts with how white you are. You’re going to have to hold Hanako down because when it is time to clean up, he’s going to try and escape so don’t let that happen unless you want to be stuck cleaning by yourself. LET HIM FEEL YOUR PAIN WHEN YOU HAVE TO CLEAN HIS TOILETS.

Soon enough Hanako tries to make donuts for you, trying to return the favor (because.. he loves you 👉👈🥺.) He doesn’t even know how he managed to stay in the home economics room for so long without anyone noticing the chaos that’s going on in there. When he finishes the donuts… well they can’t even be called donuts because he messed them up so badly. And so he’s standing there, covered in dough and flour feeling quite sad because the donuts were meant for you and he failed miserably. Now, time to get rid of the evidence before you could come and see - too late… The door slammed open and you immediately winced at the state of the room, trying to fan the burnt smell out of the air. Ah, shit.

“Hanako-kun?! What the heck were you doing in here?”

Hanako rubbed the back of his head awkwardly making a peace sign with his fingers. “Just.. just cooking up some donuts like how you taught me to, (Name)-chan!”

“...I didn’t teach you to make a mess! What were you even thinking… what if someone came in and saw things floating in mid-air!” You hurried over to the ghost with a towel in hand. “If you wanted some donuts, you could have asked me to make-” pausing midsentence, you squinted at the bag on the table. Scrawled on brown paper bag read “For (Name)-chan.”

Noticing your attention at the table, he quickly stepped in front of your line of view with a nervous grin. “Let’s clean up now (Name)-chan~” 

But your attention was directed at the slightly burnt donuts on a plate. Hanako hadn’t made donuts to satisfy himself, he made them to show his gratitude to you! You felt touched as your heart pattered against your chest. You reached towards the burnt donuts.

“W-wah?! (Name)-chan, don’t eat that!”

You munched on the treat. It was burnt, but still had the lingering taste of sweetness, and most important, Hanako’s love. Hanako’s jaw dropped as he grabbed both of your hands.

“(Name-chan), why would you eat that?! It’s horrible and burnt, and all messed up!”

You shook your head, smiling at him while you licked the crumbs off your fingers. “It’s actually not too bad, Hanako-kun. Actually quite scrumptious for being burnt! You just need to learn to bake for a shorter amount of time and you’ll be a master at donut making in no time! Here, have a taste!”

You smashed your lips onto his. Hanako could taste the burnt donut on your lips, but all he cared about was that you were kissing him. Letting go of your wrists, instead he snaked his hands up and intertwined his fingers with yours.

Don’t doubt the wholesomeness of Hanako, he’ll have you busting uwus all day bro. Precious ghost bb most be protected.

[dajaregambler]

AAside - Event story “WITHOUT ME“

A translation for the story of the AAside event “WITHOUT ME”.

It contains all chapters (6 total) fully translated!

Prologue

----At GYROAXIA’s sharehouse

Reon: Hmm…..

Miyuki: Huh, is that a wedding invitation?

Reon: Wah, Miyuki-san! Don’t stick your nose into my business

Miyuki: Just happened to see it. So, what of it? Whose invitation is it?

Reon: The owner of a local livehouse. Someone I’ve known since highschool

Miyuki: June is the season of marriage, huh. Marrying during this time will sure make the bride happy

Miyuki: Kinda romantic, isn’t it

Reon: Not really

Miyuki: Aren’t you interested, Reon-kun? Like, about what kind of person you’ll marry in the future

Reon: Nah

Miyuki: An immediate answer…

Reon: The most important thing right now is to claim victory at the LR Fes. I can’t get distracted by anything else

Miyuki: How serious. Well, that is a fact though

Miyuki: So what are you gonna do about that wedding invitation. Because by local you meant Sapporo, right?

Reon: I’m not gonna go

Reon: It’s a bit of a bummer but our live and schedule are too close to it

Reon: We’re on a time crunch for me to go to Sapporo right now

Miyuki: True that, there’s our preparations and practice too

(Door opening)

Kenta: I’m back

Reon: Kenta-san, welcome back 

Miyuki: Meeting ran late, huh

Kenta: Yes, for a bit. More importantly, Reon do you have a moment?

Kenta: There’s going to be an interview for a music magazine. With you and I

Reon: With...me? Not Nayuta?

Miyuki: Isn’t that unusual. What kind of interview?

Kenta: This

Reon: Eh….? This is…..

Kenta: A magazine special on June brides

Chapter 1

Reon: Special on June brides….

Kenta: Yes. It seems to be about the music used at ceremonies

Kenta: It’s common for the bride and groom to play their favourite music artists at weddings.

Kenta: Thus they want to hear the artists we have in mind from us.

Reon: …..Really now

Kenta: You don’t seem to be too pleased

Kenta: Well, it is part of advertising. It could serve as a chance for us to expand upon a new customer base.

Reon: Even then, why me. I kind of see why you but….

Kenta: It was requested by them.

Miyuki: Isn’t that nice, Reon-kun

Reon: Not at all

Reon: I mean, wouldn’t it be better for Nayuta to be taking interviews once in a while

Kenta: You should know by now what kind of answers Nayuta would be giving.

Reon: That… is true but….

Kenta: In any case, it’s set in stone.

Kenta: You don’t need to mull that much over it, I will be there too and I have received information regarding the contents of the questions beforehand.

Kenta: I can understand as to why you’re not motivated, but keep in mind it’s part of the job.

Kenta: Please give it what you got, Reon

Reon: ….Understood

-

Reon: ….Haah

Miyuki: What a heavy sigh. Is the interview right after the next live?

Reon: Yeah. Kenta-san had asked me to, and I’m trying to understand the logic behind this

Reon: The kind of person I like, weddings and all that… All of these questions don’t have ANYTHING to do with music!

Miyuki: Lemme see… heeeh. “What’s your ideal wedding?”

Miyuki: Say Reon-kun, why don’t you let Onii-san practice with you?

Reon: No.

Miyuki: You sure with that? What if it ends up being a mess because you’re stumbling over your own words?

Reon: ……………….

Chapter 2

Miyuki: Next question! Your ideal wife is-?

Reon: ….Don’t have one

Miyuki: Didn’t you say the same thing earlier too. Like, really don’t have a type of girl you like?

Reon: I keep saying that this is just….!

(Phone vibrates)

Miyuki: Your phone’s buzzing

Reon: Haah, who could it be at this time now?

-

-----Few days later. At a café

Livehouse owner: Misono, it’s been a while!

Reon: Boss! Long time since we talked. It’s nice that you’re in Tokyo

Livehouse owner: Yes, had some work to take care of. Being here made me want to see you guys again

Reon: “You guys”?

Yuto: ‘Sup! Huh, Reon’s here too!

Reon: Yuto…..

-

Livehouse owner: Still, you two haven’t changed

Yuto: Could say the same for you! Really thank you so much for taking care of us back then.

Livehouse owner: I didn’t do anything special

Livehouse owner: Honestly I wanted to meet up with Satozuka too but he seems to be busy.

Yuto: Well, as you’d expect from Kenta-san

Livehouse owner: Ah that’s right, our livehouse has become somewhat popular for the fact that you guys have used it.

Livehouse owner: They’ve probably heard it from somewhere, but every so often fans of yours show up 

Livehouse owner: Especially many of Misono’s fans. Though even back in the day there would be some waiting outside 

Yuto: True that. Reon wasn’t only popular in our band but at our highschool too.

Reon: No way

Yuto: No, totally yes way!?

Livehouse owner: Regardless, you two are truly amazing. To be able to enter such a grand festival

Livehouse owner: ….Well, being part of different bands that is

Livehouse owner: Honestly, it never crossed my mind that you guys would end up going your separate ways given how close everyone was

Reon: ……

Yuto: ……

Chapter 3

Livehouse owner: My bad for keeping you guys so long. I’m happy we were able to meet today though

Yuto: Yes, thank you so much for your time too! Alright, it’s time for me to head off!

Reon: See ya, Yuuto

Yuto: Yeah! I’ll be seeing you!

Reon: ...Um, Boss. Thanks a lot for today

Livehouse owner: It’s all good. If anything my bad for calling you out of nowhere

Livehouse owner: ...Should’ve known better to not mention the old band

Livehouse owner: Both you and Goryo didn’t seem to appreciate it… It was a bit insensitive.

Reon: No, please don’t mind it

Livehouse owner: Speaking of bands, how’s Gyro doing? Going well?

Reon: Right… I can’t say that it is going well at all when asked that.

Reon: To put it bluntly, it’s nothing but butting heads with the vocalist, and there’s a lot of issues within the band too

Reon: But there’s no mistake that Gyro will be the one band to be on top of the world.

Livehouse owner: Huuh… that’s unexpected. To think that you’d love Gyro.

Reon: Well… I love Gyro’s “music” if anything

Livehouse owner: You have a lot of confidence in that vocalist, don’t you?

Reon: ….Hah? Where is that coming from

Livehouse owner: Because you normally wouldn’t think that far if you didn’t have such confidence in your band members.

Reon: I mean… you could say that but with such a vocalist it’s totally impossible!

Livehouse owner: Really?

Reon: Really! Just who in the world would…

Livehouse owner: In the end band and marriage are the same. It’s sharing the same fate. There’s good times, bad times too… all that.

Reon: ….Being in the same boat.

Reon: …...Um, when you decided to get married, how did it feel?

Livehouse owner: How it felt…. that’s sudden. You have to be determined to make a choice.

Reon: Determined, to make a choice

Livehouse owner: Yes, yes. Aah, since I’m in Tokyo after all, I want to go to a Gyro live if… Misono?

Reon: Ah, sorry.

Reon: Um, talking about the live right? Till when are you staying in Tokyo?

Livehouse owner: I still have some work to take care off, I think I’ll be going back to Sapporo next week

Reon: Then I’ll leave a seat for you open so make sure to come

-

Reon: ….And with that I invited the livehouse owner.

Kenta: That’s fine. I’ll arrange a spot for him.

Reon: Thank you

Kenta: That reminds me, how are the preparations for the interview going? I noticed it seeming to be a struggle...

Reon: ………..

Reon: Um, Kenta-san. What’s your opinion of being in a band means sharing the same fate?

Chapter 4

Reon: It’s what the owner said today. “Band and marriage are the same. It’s being in the same boat”

Kenta: It resembles what you had said before, doesn’t it.

Reon: ….In the sense that it’s more about destiny.

Reon: Though… Gyro isn’t that kind of band.

Kenta: Yes. It’s not necessary for Gyro to have a feeling of fellowship or the resolution to walk together on the same path.

Reon: It narrows down to what performance Nayuta agrees with.

Kenta: Yes. And if it doesn’t you’ll get discarded

Reon: And to not get discarded you have to keep up with it.

Kenta: Exactly

Reon: I seriously still think that’s not right

Kenta: …….

Reon: …..But today, thinking about the past made me realize something.

Reon: I think it’s strange, yet I still chose Gyro.

Reon: It might’ve been more fun to continue with Yuto and the others, and have made some good memories too

Reon: Though that’s not what I’m seeking for

Reon: I want to become a pro. To surpass the world. Fun memories or friends aren’t necessary for this.

Reon: All you need is the guts to aim for the world and have the best kind of music. That’s why I’m here.

Kenta: No matter how many times you lock horns?

Reon: Yes. I don’t regret choosing Gyro

-

-----On the day of the live.

Reon: Looks like boss came too

Kenta: Yes, I had talked with him earlier. He hasn’t changed at all.

Reon: Right

Miyuki: Oh Reon-kun, you’re looking pretty calm. Was sure you’d be more nervous 

Ryo: That’s right. Kenken and Reon have an interview after this

Kenta: Yes

Reon: Kenta-san lent me a hand with preparing for it.

Miyuki: Eeh, didn’t I help you out too 

Reon: Only thing you did was mock me!

Nayuta: Stop yapping. Let’s go

Epilogue

-------At the office

Magazine reporter: Let us begin the interview. This time it’s special on June brides.

Kenta: I’m looking forward to working with you

Reon: I’ll be, in your care

Magazine reporter: Recently, songs of rock bands are being more and more used as background music at weddings...

Magazine reporter: How would you feel about your own songs being used?

Kenta: I would be very appreciative of it.

Magazine reporter: There’s also a pattern where friends of the bride and groom form a cover band together to perform.

Magazine reporter: Have you ever considered performing at your own wedding?

Kenta: I wonder. I can’t say for sure until that time comes.

Kenta: I haven’t had a moment to consider it either.

Magazine reporter: Satozuka-san, is there an ideal partner that you have in mind for marriage?

Kenta: Perhaps this would be a boring answer, however….

Kenta: I’m charmed by the kind of person whose talent far excels that of mine.

Magazine reporter: I see….

Magazine reporter: What about you, Misono-san?

Reon: Uum… I haven’t actually thought about marriage yet

Reon: Someone that gives priority to the band is good. At any rate I’m too occupied with the band myself right now.

Reon: On the other hand, I don’t want the other to have regret in choosing me.

-

Kenta: Reon, that went pretty well didn’t it.

Reon: Y-you think so?

Kenta: Yes. Compared to when we practiced, these were all fine answers.

Kenta: As expected from a man that became a legend for having 11 girls confess their love to him.

Reon: What!?

Reon: Hold on a second! From who did you…!

Kenta: I fondly remember needing to apologize to the amount of people waiting outside of the livehouse.

Reon: Wha-, Kenta-san!

Kenta: Quite a different experience compared to the man who has been popular since forever.

Reon: Please spare me….!!

Notes

Some sort of semantics about destiny and fate. Fate has no choice, we play no part in molding it. Destiny has a choice, we actively shape it. The owner and both Reon talked about “being in the same boat” but the kanji differ: 運命共同体 and 一蓮托生. The former is about destiny, the latter about fate. Reon has said it before which is why Kenta points it out, and Reon explains that it’s not precisely that. Hope it makes sense!

[anambermusicbox]

September 29 Day Countdown (27/29): 2021/01/15 Interview with iFeng Entertainment 凤凰网《非常道》

(11:20) Interviewer asks whether he’s more affected by hurtful words or kind words; Zhou Shen then goes on to talk about his relationship with his fans:

ZS: After all, I’ve now debuted for 6 years now- (*more subdued*) my skin has gotten thicker. Before, hurtful words had a very big impact on me. I’d see these words and think (*gasps*) What did I do wrong? Why do they have to say this about me? Do I have to change something? If I do this differently would they not say this about me? 

But later I realized, no (*waves his hand dismissively*) To them, the people that don’t like you, as long as you exist, they won’t like you. So before, I would be affected a lot more by hurtful words, but now its about 51% and 49%, with that 51% being the hurtful words. But I’m working on flipping the percentages. This way, I think, I’m also doing right by the people who support me.

Interviewer: I think there are actually a lot of people who like you. (*ZS bows and thanks her awkwardly*) The other day, I was online and saw your fans professing their love, fussing over you. (*ZS laughs*)

ZS: Oh that’s right, because- a few days ago, I was doing a performance and- I don’t know if this is just what this fan says to singers they like, but they said (*cups hands around mouth*) (*extremely high pitched shout*) “Rest for a bit!! You’re tiring!!! Yourself!!! Out!!!!” (*laughs*) (T/N: It was after he filmed the winter-themed Happy Camp with the Onmyoji movie cast; there’s a video of the exact moment—super hilarious, I’ll put the link in the notes.) [...] I want to tell them, I’m doing fine here, don’t worry—I can take care of myself.

Interviewer: I think the way they talk to you is quite 没大没小 (referring someone to being disrespectful and talking to someone their senior the same way they talk to their peers; Zhou Shen looks quite shocked at her choice of words) They really treat you like (ZS, interjecting: a friend) someone they can throw jokes at, a kind of idol that is very close to them. How do you view the relationship between you and your fans?

ZS: Oh, I really don’t know. To be honest, I really don’t know. [...] Even now, sometimes I think they’re quite stupid. I say this because, sometimes, even if it’s just to see me sing one or two songs, they’ll stand outside the venue waiting for four to five hours on a harsh winter day. I feel really bad for them. But it’s like, to them this is one way they feel that they can give me strength, and I can’t tell them not to, because that would hurt them even more. 

So sometimes I look at them and think, oh look at this stupid group of people, so idiotically supporting me. This kind of stupidity is really quite touching. I want to put forth my best effort to reciprocate what they do.

(14:55) Interviewer: “Do you have moments where you feel pretty rotten?”

ZS: Oh, too many. (Interviewer: Tell me about it, from the past to the present) Wow. Okay then we have to delay the program recording scheduled next (*laughs*) there’s a LOT. I mean, since my childhood, my classmates unintentionally- it was really unintentional, they didn’t have the maturity to know that their words would be hurtful. But to me, they were very hurtful. But you can’t blame them for it, because they didn’t understand anything at the time. (T/N: no you can totally blame them for it, you’re just a nice person shenshen)

And more recently, as an artist, I had my own “cold bench period.” I felt like, I was working so hard but no one was willing to listen to me sing. Not only that, I felt I didn’t have a way to be heard. Because there was a period of time when I didn’t really have any work and, wah, everyday I felt so purposeless; I was just a rain cloud, I was so discouraged (*laughs*)

Interviewer: What about now, now that you’re so busy?

ZS: If I’m tired, I’ll be happy because I’m happy that there are stages that *want* me to sing on them. [...] I worked so hard to stay in this profession because I wanted to be heard by others, and now that this day has finally come, with so many stages I can sing on, why wouldn’t I go?

(16:40) Talks about how he doesn’t mind labels, because that how someone remembers you; ZS: “I saw this one comment I really liked, this person was saying they always thought there were two Zhou Shen’s—a male one who was funny on variety shows, and a female one that sang deep emotional songs—until one day they watched a show and realized, what?? It’s one Zhou Shen???”

(18:30) Interviewer: As I’m conversing with you, I can feel very relaxed, very happy—that’s the feeling you give people. (*ZS bows and quietly thanks her*) But I know from looking at your past that your childhood was quite lonely. What makes you be able to still be so warm—that is, to go and bring others... happiness. 

ZS: I think it’s because I’m really fortunate. Because... (*looks up in thought*) I... I grew up in a very remote mountainous village, but I’m really fortunate to have so many opportunities—coming into the city, being able to learn and come in contact with all the culture I love, and later even being about to devote myself to a career I love. I feel very fortunate.

And I know that, when you feel extremely alone, if you suddenly feel something like a beam of warmth, the joy or the kind of hope that can bring—when you receive it, you’re so happy. I think, I want to do that, if there’s a possibility I could have the honour to do that for someone else. I think it’s so important.

(21:00) Talks about his parents:

ZS: Even now, my mom and dad are still wanting to- still are running their small business that they love; I think it’s very laborious. I keep telling them, you both are getting older, you should take advantage of your age and go relax, enjoy yourselves. They say, no, we want to take some burden off of you, to which I’m like eh? (*leans over and covers mouth to whisper*) Mom you’re losing money every year. *laughs* 

Especially with the pandemic, their lifestyles have had the most obvious impact. Because they’re not like the younger generation that can continue doing things online. All they’ve known is getting up early to open their storefront, staying there until it’s time to close at nightfall.

Interviewer: (21:55) Your parents, before they didn’t support you going into music. What about now?

ZS: They think it’s great now. But they worry because they feel they have no way to help me in this career. [...] They once said- I asked them something like this one day, how they want to help me now. They said they can give me their storefront. I told them, then don’t help me (*laughs*) Because I’ve used to help them watch the store all the time growing up! I used to be doing my homework at their storefront. Ever since I was little, I’ve always really disliked doing business. So I felt like, oh mom dad, no. 

I’m really lucky. Even though my mom and dad don’t have very high education—it’s really quite low to be honest—they still chose to understand me. I’m very grateful to them.

(1:45) Interviewer asks what his first job was:

ZS: After I graduated from high school, my first job was selling phones. (Interviewer: Were you standing all day?) Yup, standing. [...] (Interviewer: So you have experience in the workplace?) Well, to be honest, I didn’t converse with people much in my so-called workplace—I have a very introverted personality; I’m not too fond of or good at talking to people.

Interviewer: Would someone who doesn’t like to talk to people be able to convince people to buy phones?

ZS: That’s why I didn’t sell any. (*bends over laughing*) You really had to say it so directly. (*laughs*) Zhuang-laoshi, you’re an accurate judge of people! (*gives her two thumbs up*) (*Interviewer laughs*)

(3:30) Interviewer tries asking him a question related to emotional intelligence (”qing shang”, 情商) but gets her words mixed up and says romance instead (”qing chang”, 情场); ZS: “Well, if we’re talking about romance, that’s an area I don’t have much experience in (*gets up and pretends to leave*) (Interviewer, laughing: To be honest, that’s the thing I really want to ask about.) Zhuang-laoshi, I really don’t have any experience with romance (*laughs*)

Interviewer: Okay what I was going to ask is, do you think EQ is important in the workplace?

ZS: Super important! For one thing, every workplace involves getting along with people, and part of the way you interact with people depends on your EQ.

Interviewer: But some people say that part of EQ is a skill, a means to an end—would it come off as insincere to others?

ZS: ?? (*blinks*) Can you give me an example?

Interviewer: Like for example, if I compliment you like “oh you’re such a great person (*half-hearted clapping*)” when I don’t truly mean it.

ZS: Oh that was so insincere (*makes faces*) (*Interviewer laughs*) I’m starting to question myself (*laughs*) I don’t think that’s a problem for me though. That’s why you shouldn’t force compliments. I think it’s important to be genuine with what you say—then people won’t think you’re being fake. If people think you’re being fake, that in itself already isn’t a display of good EQ. Be sincere, but try your hardest not to hurt others.

Interviewer: I want to ask another question-

ZS: Is it about romance? (*laughs*)

Interviewer, joking: We’ll talk about romance in a moment.

ZS: no nO NO LET’S NOT DO THAT (*laughs*)

(6:10) About how Zhou Shen didn’t expect to get along so well with everyone else in “An Exciting Offer”《令人心动的offer》:

ZS: On the first episode, every time I put in my own two cents, I had to work myself up just to speak up. My heart rate was through the roof, it was like- (*takes a deep breath*) (*raises hand*) “Laoshi? (*exaggerated suppressed panic*) Can I aSK a quESTION? (*pretends to look back and forth between the others*) (*Interviewer giggles*) I think this is just like, you see, I believe in the workplace, people who are have this personality-” How was I supposed to converse like this? (*laughs*) 

So that was how I was for the first two episodes, but now in the later episodes, I got used to just casually interjecting whenever I felt like it. It was quite wonderful. The other teachers were very approachable, very friendly—it felt like, something you imagined before, but when you really are in such a group, it was like, oh this kind of goodness is something that actually exists. You feel very fortunate, very happy.

(8:50) Interviewer asks ZS if he ever lacks confidence; ZS replies that, even now, he’s not very confident:

ZS: Every time I’m on stage I get extremely extremely nervous. I’ll fear that, I won’t live up to the expectations of those who want to listen to me. But I’m slowly learning to- to get along with, to come to terms with this nervousness.

Interviewer: Then this year, you would’ve been so nervous all the time. Have you counted how many performances you had just this year?

ZS: I haven’t counted, but Shengmi, they compiled them all together and, excluding the ones that aren’t aired, there were over a hundred. Every single one of them, I’m behind the scenes like- (*makes loud deep-breathing-for-anxiety-reduction noises*) But I can’t let people see that so- (*dissolves into laughter*)

[knight-queen]

Lunatic Parade Subaru Sakamaki–⁠ (Chapter 2)

[Chapter 1]

Place: ??? (BG black)

Yui: (nng…)

(Huh, what time is it…?)

(Last night, I was having difficulties in sleeping so I couldn’t sleep well…)

(...? Oh no...I can’t move my body…! Bu- but why…!?)

???: ….Zzz

Yui: (Someone...is here...!?)

Place: ホテル•モーントシュタイン  客室 / Hotel • Mortstein,Guest room

Yui: 一Su- Subaru kun!?

(Lemme think? Why’s he sleeping on my bed…!?)

(Could it be I accidentally fell asleep here…? ...Nope, it’s no way…)

Subaru: nnh…

Yui: (Wa- What should I do! He is about to wake up…!?)

*Subaru gets up*

Subaru: ….ah?

Yui: Err...that’s...Good morn- ning?

Subaru: ...Yeah….hm?

That’s, Yo- you!? Uwaa! Why are you here!? *blushing*

Didn’t I warn ye’ not to enter on the other side!?

*Subaru backs off*

Yui: You misunderstood! This is my portion…!

Subaru: Haah!? That’s not一

Yui: Then look! My Rosary is on this bed-side…

Subaru: ……

Yui: (What can I do, he isn’t saying anything…)

*Subaru stops blushing*

Subaru: Oh...I see now...yesterday…

Haah…

Yui: Subaru kun…?

Subaru: ...How’s your health today?

Yui: Eh…? Health? I haven’t felt anything recently though…

Subaru: ...Then, it’s good.

Yui: (Why does that mean…?)

Saying that...why were you sleeping on my bed-part…?

Subaru: ...kh...that’s ‘cuz…*blushing*

...Shuddup! That doesn’t even matter!

Yui: Eeh...but I’m curious…

(Because...he strictly prohibited not to enter on the other side…)

Subaru: ……

Yui: ……

Subaru: ...Tch! Aaah, damn it!

Got it, if you’ll be satisfied if I say it, then I’ll!!

...You’re...having a nightmare last night.

Yui: Eh…?

Subaru: When I was sleeping on my side, I heard you making painful noises and...

That’s why...I go there to check out your state.

...Was it my bad?

Yui: Oh…

(Last night, it wasn’t a dream that I felt my chest hurt…)

(Because of that, Subaru kun has...slept…)

You were worried for me, right?

Subaru: Wha...I didn’t really worry or something like…*blushing*

Yui: Fufu…

Subaru: Shit, don’t laugh!

*Screen shakes + Subaru gets closer*

Yui: Kyaa…!?

Don’t pull off my arm so suddenly…!

Subaru: Shuddup! I’m gonna sleep twice.

Yui: Eeeh…!?

Subaru: Just be quiet and embrace me…!

*Hugs her tighter*

Yui: (Oh come on. We must have to get up by right now...but…)

(Last night, I am sure he had been concerned for my health all the time…)

(Just a little bit...should be fine, no?)

Place: Glimmer Street  Main street / グリンマーストリート 表通り

Yui: The antique art dealer that you’ve mentioned yesterday...do you know where he is?

Subaru: Yeah...but saying the truth, I don’t wanna drag myself near him…

Yui: Is he such a weird person…?

Subaru: Weird you say...He’s a narrow-minded guy who always comes up with a disagreement for some reasons.

Even for the father, he is a damn crap old-uncle who always shows-off around. 

Yui: You didn’t have to explain it in such a cruel manner…

Subaru: Hmph…

Subaru: However...this old uncle is the only guy who can resist my father. 

By putting it that way, that guy is incredible, I think.

Yui: Oh...I see now…

(The one who can resist Karl-Heinz san...then he should be a pretty amazing right…)

(I wonder what kind of person he is…)

Subaru: I am sure he lives around this area…

Oh, here it is...let’s enter.

Place: Aizen Stahl, Antique Art Store/ アイゼン シュタール古美術商店 

Subaru: 一 Oi, Ye’ here?

Antique Art Dealer: Hmm…?

Ooh! You’re the youngest kid of the Sakamaki.

Yui: (This person is the artist of the antique…)

Antique Art Dealer: You were so small in the past…

Now you’ve grown up so much, like walking in the future carrying a woman huh.

...I think she looks like a young girl having a plugged-nose though.

Yui: Pu- pugged nose…!?

(How awful…)

Subaru: Tch…

...Don’t care about him that much. I told that he's narrow-minded and has a disagreement with everything, right?

Yui: Y- yes…

Antique Art Dealer: So, what’s up today? For you coming in this place is rather rare.

Did Karl-Heinz assign you any mission or something? Heheh…

Subaru: Ye’ aren’t even close, that old man has no connection with it.

...Do you know that guy called Earl Walter?

Antique Art Dealer: Hm….

Subaru: I had smashed several furnishings of his castle yesterday.

Antique Art Dealer: ...You did?

Subaru: Yeah.

Antique Art Dealer: Ho...you see...the furnishings of the Walter are…

Pfft….Hahahah! Oh my, I see! You breaked them huh!

That was the masterpiece thing you did!

Yaay, you did well, youngest kid of Sakamaki!

Yui: Eh…

(He seems to be laughing so much…!?)

Subaru: O- oi…?

Antique Art Dealer: What are you trying to hide? I strongly hate that guy.

Yui: Is that so…?

Antique Art Dealer: Yeah, absolutely. For telling the truth, he has stolen my treasures in the past.

Since then, I just continued hating and hating him…

For this, I become overjoyed hearing this, you know!

Yui: (I get it...so that was the reason…)

Antique Art Deal: I think I can repair the implements in his castle other than the goods in his treasure house.

Subaru: You mean it!?

Yui: That’s a relief….!

Antique Art Deal: Since you had blown up the hell out of that guy then...I shall help you.

Which stuff do you wanna repair?

Yui: A jar, sculpture and a painting…

Antique Art Dealer: I get the point. If that's the case then I can manage somehow I think. Hold on a sec.

*Walks away*

Yui: Looks like at the end we can come up with something, Subaru kun…!

Subaru: Yeah, I believe so…

*Pulling something big*

Antique Art Dealer: I appreciate your waiting. What about this thing?

These things are quite similar with those types of implements, right?

Subaru: Yeah, almost like that.

Yui: Then...if we give these to Earl Walter, he may pardon us…!

Subaru: Yup, we appreciate it. Then We’re takin’ out leav一

Antique Art Dealer: Hold ittt!

*Slaps Subaru*

Subaru: Ouch…! What the hell are ye’ doin’!?

Antique Art Dealer: Who said I’ll do these for free!

Subaru: Haah!? Did you say you’re gonn’ help us out!?

Antique Art Dealer: If you sound like having complaints then I won't hand these over to you.

Subaru: Ghh…

...Oh! Then I am gonna go to the human world and get some money from that old father.

That’s why...let us make an exchange with these.

Antique Art Dealer: Hmph, I don’t even slightly agree that Karl-Heinz will take out money for such things.

Subaru: ….kkh….

Yui: Then...what can we do for the charge…?

Antique Art Dealer: Let’s see…

If you can hand me three things that I’ll order, then I am gonna exchange these things.

Well, if I put in other others, those things should be close to my hand-maid things.

Yui: Hand-maid…

Subaru: Tch….annoying but...that’s the only way.

一一Understood. We’ll get them for you.

Antique Art Dealer: ...Told you, right? Then, let’s tie up our discussions here.

Yui: What should we search to begin with?

Antique Art Dealer: ...The head-mask of a clown. That should be an antique item.

Subaru: HAAH!? Why the heck you need such a thing!?

Antique Art Dealer: That’s because I want that, so you can’t blame it.

If you don’t want to then you don’t have to, ya’ know? Since I am not allowing exchange if so. 

Subaru: ...Told ye’ that I am gonna do it! I’m gonna search for that right away so wait!...What a shit!

Place: サントノレパーク通り /  Saint Honoré Park Street

Yui: It’s much crowded that I’ve thought…

Subaru: Ahh...ear sore…

Yui: (It's a parade after all so we have to endure these…)

一Ah! There is a clown right ahead! I think there’s gonna be a performance onward.

(It was a great decision for visiting the amusement park. Because, after it if we ask about the head-mask to the clown, then一)

Vampire Child A: Oh! It’s a clown! Hurry up and come 一!

Vampire Child B: Hold on一!

Clown A: There, there. Don’t push each other, okay~!

Yui: (Wah, it’s a huge crowd...I can’t get near him at all…)

Subaru: Oi, what are ye’ gonna do? There’re so many kids so we can’t get to him.

Yui: Umm...at this rate, the performance is gonna begin soon…

(What shall we do…)

Clown B: ...What shall we do?

Clown C: I can’t answer even if you ask...it’s a weekend after all…

Yui: (Hm? Over there are…)

Look, the clowns are getting prepared over there. Let’s talk with them.

I think they are having some kind of trouble…

*Walks over there*

Yui: Excuse us…

Clown B: Yes?

Yui: Did something happen? You look somehow troubled…

Clown C: Oh...that’s...the clown who was supposed to play main role in this performance,

Cannot show up for getting an injury…

Vampire Child A: So we can’t start!

Vampire Child B: I am getting sick of waiting!

Yui: (Ah...there children are…)

Clown A: ...Kh, We can’t buy ourselves time anymore! What should we do!?

Yui: Tell us! Is there anything we can do to help you?

Clown B: Eeeh!? But…

Subaru: Ha? Oi, what are ya’ sayi…

Clown C: No...maybe you can. If you lend us a hand in the fountain-show then…

...Certainly...if you do that much then...At this moment, that’s the only way.

Subaru: What’re ye’ thinking? It’s now way...we can help ‘em!

Yui: Sorry for deciding all of these even if you’re refusing to….

But, if we help, then we can have a talk with them as early as possible…

Subaru: ………

Clown A: Can you please do it for us?

Subaru: ...Certainly...we won’t have a delay talking with ‘em if we do so…

...Understood, we’ll do it.

Clown C: That’ll be a great help! But...we’re lacking time so, please get ready right away.

Yui: Yeah…!

*After a moment*

Clown A: Alright, dear people! Thank you so much for your long wait!

Clown B: After a moment, we’re going to show everyone in a fantasy world.

Yui: (Aight...let’s do my best…!)

→Game 

Words Subaru said in the game 一

What're you doing? Get started.

Looks like we’re done.

If you win 一

*Audiences’ claps *

Yui: (Have we done it...perfectly…?)

Vampire Child A: Ohh! Wonderful!

Vampire Child B: The fountain-show was so incredible, right…!

Clown A: Thank you very much! You succeed so well!

Yui: Really….!? We did it, Subaru kun!

*Yui hugs Subaru*

Subaru: Uwaah…!?

*Fades to CG*

Yui: (What a relief...we get that right…!)

Subaru: O- oi! Lemme go!

Yui: Eh?

Vampire Child A: Look! It’s a couple, a couple!!

Vampire Child B: Right~! A lovely-dovely one~!

Yui: ...kh…!

(I was so happy that I….!)

Yui: Ah, Subaru kun, that’s...err, I didn’t mean to do it…!

Vampire Child B: Couple~! Couple~!

Subaru: Tch…! Ya’ll are being damn noisy!

Vampire Child A: Uwaa! We got him mad! Let’s escape!!

*Run*

Subaru: Fuck…!

Yui: (Uuh...and also, what was I doing….so embarrassing….!)

*CG Fades*

Yui: S- sorry, I did something weird so suddenly…!

Subaru: Geez…

Clown C: Phew, thanks to you two, the show has ended up smoothly.

Furthermore, you absolutely deserve larger congrats than I’d expected!

Clown B: Honestly, thank you a lot!

Yui: (I’m glad that we’ve come out handy to them.)

Clown A: 一Once again, we’re expressing our gratefulness for supporting us.

Clown B: As a thank you, please recommend to us what can we give you as a present.

Yui: Err...Actually, if you could manage us a thing that we have been searching…

Subaru: 一 This one. Can you recall seeing something like this?

Clown C: This is…

Yui: (Ah...that photo was…)

Subaru: It’s a head-mask used by a clown. If you have it, then please give it to us.

Clown A: Oh...it looks like an old-modeled head-mask. I hope it is left out in the warehouse...

However, you have helped us so much after all, so we’ll search up the warehouse for you.

Yui: You mean it!? Thank you…!

Clown A: Then, we’re gonna go there to search….can we request you to wait here for a while?

Yui: We’re counting on you!

*Goes away*

Yui: That’s good right, Subaru kun…!

Subaru: If they find it, then yes…

Yui: (...Looks like we’re having a freetime. What can we do…)

Oh...tell me Subaru kun. We’re having some time so let’s play something cool?

Subaru: Huh?

Yui: It’s boring if we just wait here plus…

Subaru: ...What do you wanna ride?

Yui: Err...let’s see….Oh, what about Merry-Go-Round?

Subaru: HAAAH!? Which fool is gonna ride such a childish thing!?

Yui: Ah…

(So we can’t huh...I really wanted to ride something together…)

Subaru: ……..

Tch…

*Walks away*

Yui: Subaru kun…?

Subaru: ...What’re ye’ standing like a statue for? Hurry up.

Yui: Eh...hurry up but why…

Subaru: Huh...you wanna ride, no? Come along before I change my mood to ride.

Yui: ...Mhm!

*After a while*

Yui: Haa, it was fun…!

Subaru: Which side was fun….such stuff was just embarrassing! *blushing*

For starters...You ended up choosing that horse-drawn vehicle…

For making me ride on like a clerk...of that horse…!

If ye’ make me do so next time, then I’ll blow ye’ up…!

Yui: (Certainly it was embarrassing of two of us riding together but…)

I enjoyed riding with you, thank you for that.

Subaru: …ngh…*blushed*

Well...if you’d enjoyed it then it’s okay but….I won’t gonn’ face such a ride next time!

Clown A: 一Sorry for making you wait!

Yui: Oh, you are…

Subaru: You’ve found that?

Clown A: It was...expectedly way much old, so it wasn’t left in our warehouse.

Subaru: Haah!?

Yui: S- such…!

Clown A: However, if I take the correct conjecture then you may find it in the dress shop of this town.

Yui: Dress shop…

(Then we should go there I think.)

Thanks a lot for giving us valuable information. We’re going to that shop then.

Clown A: Yup. Take care…!

Place: Glimmer Street, Aizen back street

Subaru: 一Where can we find that dress shop?

Yui: Umm...according to the map we received earlier, that should be around here.

Right ahead of that crowd, I guess…?

Subaru: Crowd….I’m sick of that.

Yui: Ahaha, you’re right…

(By the way, I wonder if it’s just my imagination to have a bad feeling about it…)

Place: Dress Shop /ドレスショップ

Yui: ………

Subaru: ………

Why is it crowded here too…!

Yui: Y- yes…

(The bad-feeling that I was having was true after all…!)

Umm...excuse me. Anything going on here?

Vampire Woman A: Yeah, there’s going to be a fashion show.

Yui: Fashion show!?

If the fashion is gonna start then I bet the workers in this shop are busy…

Subaru: Ahh...crowds are annoying too. So, let’s wait until it’s over.

Yui: Right...let’s wait then…

(Fashion show of the Demon World huh, I am bit interested一)

???: 一Ah! Hey you there!

Subaru: Aah?

Yui: (Hm…?)

???: I want you to follow me!

*She pulls Subaru*

Subaru: Aaah? What’s so sudden!?

Dress shop owner: I am the owner of this shop. I’ll explain everything inside that room. Anyway, come!

Subaru: Oi, hold it!

Yui: Ah, wait….!

(What on this earth going on…? I should just follow them…)

Place: Dressing Room / 試着室

Yui: (She has brought us very inside this shop…)

Dress shop owner: My apologies for bringing you here so suddenly but please get changed into this costume.

Subaru: Haah!? You’re doing these so abruptly! Why the heck is going on!

Dress shop owner: ...Right, I was forcing you way much…

For here on, we’re going to perform a fashion show here, however…

It was frustrating that there wasn’t a single model out there to wear my masterpiece costume.

I was able to find substitutes from the time being but none of them were perfectly suitable.

However, in the meantime you show up! You’re an ideal model for this.

Yui: (Subaru kun….a model…)

Subaru: Stop fussing around! Who’s gonna do such a shit!

Dress shop owner: No refusal! I’ll make you to be the model by any means!

I bet you’re gonna be pleased with the costume that I created.

Subaru: Hmph, what an absurd one. Oi, we’re going back.

Yui: Ah, but….

(We must have to ask them about that head-mask…)

(Above that…)

*BGM stops*

(I am very interested in seeing Subaru kun participating in the fashion show…!)

Tell me, Subaru kun...it’s a great offer so please participate in it?

Subaru: AAAAH!? You’re also saying these!?

Yui: ….Please do!

Plus...please lend me your ear a bit?

*Subaru gets closer + Yui whispers*

Yui: You see, it may be the right chance for us to ask them about the head-mask…!

Subaru: ...gh…

Dress shop owner: I have no clue what you’re mumbling for…

But I am begging you too. Because you can be the supreme model for sure.

Subaru: ………

….Lend that thing. I’m gonna wear it.

*Starts putting on*

Yui: Subaru kun…!

Dress shop owner: Woo! Thanks a lot! Then come here please!

Yui: (I am looking forward to the upcoming…!)

Place: Glimmer Street  Main street / グリンマーストリート 表通り

*Shutter sounds of taking photos*

Yui: (Every single model has so cool styles. I can’t help but to admire them…)

(Subaru kun’s turn hasn’t come yet…)

Dress shop owner: Alright, so our last display will be this costume of our pride!

Yui: (Ah, he shows up…!)

*Louder Applause + Shutters* 

Monologue一

The appearance of Subaru who modelled was looking so cool that anyone’d get caught in his enchantment.

...It was rather a displeasing mood for me though.

He was in an unusual appearance or for something else, I was feeling like he was refreshed.

The shop-owner who stood by this Subaru kun 一一

She is so beautiful too.

I was just curious that...two of them who were getting captured in photos taken by others, what conversations they were having while having short distance in between them.

End of Monologue

*Shutters*

Dress shop owner: The visitors are congrating us so much…!

Come on, you also shake your hand with these audiences.

*Swats her hand*

Subaru: 一Don’t you freely touch my hand.

||気安い means actually friendly or familliarly. However, I thought ‘freely’ would go smoothly with the sentence. However, the more literal concept would be “Don’t touch my hand treating so friendly / familiar with me.

Yui: (Ah…! Subaru kun just shook off the shop-owner’s hand.)

Subaru: I’m engaged. Hand-shake with someone else.

||Spoilers! 予約済み means engage / reservation. I am pretty much sure he meant engaged. Because it reflects a clue about ‘engaging’ to the dress-shop owner. :p But some translators may also translate like “I am reserved here. Touch other else” x’D However it would sound weird or logicless since ‘reservation’ has nothing to do with ‘touching hand’. The next sentence, it makes it more obvious :’)

Dress shop owner: Oh my…

...Fufu, it’s that girl over there huh.

Subaru: ...Hmph.

Yui: (I hope he won’t fight over this time…)

*After a moment*

Yui: 一Subaru kun!

Subaru: ...Oh, you come huh.

Yui: Oh...you have got back to normal appearance huh.

Subaru: Absolutely! Who’d wear that damn cloth for a long time.

Yui: (I want to...tell him about my impressions of that show...How should I describe that?)

→Selection

面白かった / You looked interesting

かっこよかった / You looked cool (+correct)

Yui: Subaru kun, you looked so cool!

Subaru: I- is that so? I haven’t really done anything. *flushed*

Yui: It’s not like that. That costume also suited you pretty well and…!

Subaru: ...Thanks.

Dress shop owner: Thanks for the earlier. For you, we really hit a huge profit.

Subaru: I’d acted just as you said. This time, listen to our request.

Dress shop owner: What is it? It will be a pleasure to help you with anything I can.

Subaru: ...Have you seen something similar to this photo? We’re searching for that.

Dress shop owner: ...Oh, it’s inside our warehouse. I’m going to bring that so wait please.

*After a while*

Dress shop owner: 一I think it’s this one.

Yui: Yeah, it is!

Dress shop owner: No one has been using it since it was just left there...You can have it if you need it.

Yui: Thank you so much! We did it, Subaru kun!

Subaru: Hm...I have no clue what he's planning to do with this worn-out thing…

That’s fine. Let’s get back to that old uncle anyways!

Yui: Right. Ah, really thanks a lot!

Dress shop owner: Whether it’s useful to you or not comes first. If it’s possible then stop by here again.

Place: Aizen Stahl, Antique Art Store/アイゼン シュタール古美術商店 

Subaru: 一Here, ye’ haven’t gotten any complaints right!?

Antique Art Dealer: Oooh! This one indeed! I haven’t imagined you’d really give it to me.

Subaru: Geez, my head hasn’t just got that why do ya’ need such a thing.

But...with this we’re done with one of the assignments I hope.

Antique Art Dealer: Yeah, you sure did. I’ll count on you tomorrow as well.

Place: Diamante Fountain / ディアマンテ泉

Subaru: Haah...I’m tired…

Yui: The first day was tough…

Ah, I got churro from the Wagon. Wanna eat?

Subaru: Yeah….mmn…

...The saying that “Sweet things taste more tasty the time you’re tired”, not a lie after all…

Yui: Fufu…

(But, today we really had to face many things.)

(I hope we’ll be able to hold out tomorrow as well…)

Subaru: Don’t make such a depressed face…I’ll be with you.

Yui: Right…!

(That’s true, if Subaru kun’s with me then we’ll be fine…!)

(Alright, let’s do our best tomorrow!)

一The END of Chapter O2

[lambden]

fic writer review

tagged by @dameferre (on main) <3 this ended up being long so i’m throwing it under the cut! thank you for the tag, i’ve wanted to do this for a while!

tagging: @weedsinavacantlot @mosaicscale @jaskiersvalley @unyielding-as-the-sea @chubbykatsudon @ohnomybreadsticks even though I know some of you have already done this!

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

78. one is anonymous right now for a flash fic challenge so it isn’t showing up. i have no fucking idea how i got here (AND i’ve deleted so many stories...)

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

542911 which is truly horrendous. somebody stop me

3. how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

so i’ve MOSTLY written the witcher/dead by daylight/until dawn, but i have 25 fandoms with currently published works. yikes

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

-number one is a stupid fic with a polyamorous ship (+ a trans character) for a fandom i no longer care about and a book series i really hate. i regret writing it (and have said so in the notes), i was at a place in my life where i wanted to write this incredibly self-indulgent thing after diving headfirst into canon, and now rereading it with a critical eye, it just makes me annoyed.

-number two is, SOMEHOW, the geraskier scent kink fic?! i don’t understand how this has more kudos than some of my other fics!!!!! people really love smut huh

-number three is venom smut

-number four is the cave, my longest fic! it’s an until dawn fix-it that is very self-indulgent and definitely needs a total rework haha

5. do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i try to respond to all comments that aren’t anonymous! like elle said, I appreciate it more when people notice an obscure reference or something. I think the one word/emoji comments are still nice but they don’t personally have much of an impact on me. and all this being said, i am perpetually behind on my comment replies I currently have 246 to do 😔😔😔

6. what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

it’s the one i’m publishing next week for the whataboutthebard event hehe

7. do you write crossovers? if so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i love crossovers i think theyre very fun! i wrote an (unpublished) crossover where deadpool and cable are the superhero identities of face and hannibal from the a-team. it was a birthday gift to a friend and it was VERY indulgent especially with the non-linear timeline (because cable) but whatever, i reread it recently and it still slaps

8. have you ever received hate on a fic?

i have but nothing that really irked me so badly i remembered it, oops

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i sure do which is hilarious because as someone who is sex repulsed like 95% of the time irl... how do i keep getting away with this

10. have you ever had a fic stolen?

okay no i haven’t (to my knowledge) but also someone once wrote an until dawn fic “inspired by” the cave that basically took the exact same plot and ....??? made it worse/simpler? it was hard to read so i wasn’t 100% sure but. at first i was flattered and eventually it just got annoying, even though they barely wrote anything for it

11. have you ever had a fic translated?

people have offered but none have followed through!! wah

12. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i’ve planned out fics with people but the writing process is difficult enough without someone else there. i would really like to get into those train fics where each author writes a different part though, i think it’d be a ton of fun

13. what’s your all-time fave ship?

it is probably, just statistically, eames and arthur. but there are so many lmao how could i choose

14. what’s a fic you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i should probably put the cave here but i’m close to the end of that one actually, just need to sit down and do it! but ‘spectacular’, the kingsman/baby driver crossover i worked SOOOO hard on, is probably not something i’m ever going to feel comfortable finishing. or if i do, i will be rewriting it so that it’s clear that i’m headcanoning baby as someone other than ans*l elg*rt (john boyega...? 👀) but yeah at this moment in time i can’t see that happening

15. what are your writing strengths?

idk.. i like my dialogue!

16. what are your writing weaknesses?

scene transitions, endings, editing out scenes that aren’t cohesive and don’t contribute anything but I love Them Your Honour, falling into the same boring writing style with each sentence having the exact same structure

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages on a fic?

i think it needs to be done correctly and there has to be a reason for it

18. what was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

i dunno man... naruto maybe???? d. gray-man? sh*rlock??????????? perhaps les mis when i was a baby and literally only cared about eponine and cosette

19. what is your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

it’s really hard for me to choose only one answer here 😔 I really like my laegjarn/fjorm stuff and the ocean’s eleven fic i wrote, and i LOVE the dialogue in my veep fics <3 for dead by daylight i’m still proud of my jake/evan summer camp slasher AU! and i like most of my witcher fics, i’m really excited about some things i have in the works right now.

if you actually made it to the bottom, thanks for reading!!! 🥰🥰🥰

[alirhi]

This started as a reply to @hiddlestanss Endings, Beginnings post, but it started going in my typical lengthy rant direction lol so rather than hijack her post, I figured I'd just start my own. Here are my thoughts on the movie and why I, personally, love it so much it hurts my heart at times to watch it:

Take Frank leaving her to do drugs in another room out, and imo Frank and Daphne are perfect. Aside from that one blunder, they have the relationship I so desperately want - goofy, impulsive, loving, empathetic, respectful...

In the beginning, they're the perfect mix of snarky and flirty. He makes her laugh when she's feeling down and alone, and even when they're joking around, he's respectful of her boundaries. It's kind of creepy that he got her number from someone else without her permission lol but he uses it to...send her a playlist and a funny in-joke. Not to hit on her, not to ask her out, just to make her smile.

When he learns that she's gone on a date with his best friend after telling him that she's not dating, he doesn't get mad or belligerent. He admits (in a slightly dickish tone, but I'll let that slide) that he's jealous, but he doesn't push for more. He actually tries to push Daphne away to avoid hurting his friend. They met up at a bar and he doesn't even give her shit for ordering water after being reminded that she's abstaining from alcohol. I don't even get that level of respect from my own friends irl! I always get "wah you're boring, Ali!" Anyway...

Pushing her away fails and they end up back at his apartment. Frank pours himself some absinth, and, remembering Daphne's mission to stay sober, he starts to pour her a glass of water. Again, no pushing, no coercion, ever mindful of and respectful of her boundaries. Every time he moves past the boundaries she set in the beginning, it's because she invites him. I don't care if it makes me weird or what, but that shit is so romantic to me.

Literally the only time he ever forces his way past her boundaries is when he drops Jack's dog in her arms. The rest of the time, Frank, while childish and flighty, is respectful and sweet. Even when they're having sex on his kitchen counter and he's probably fucking drunk, he notices when she has a little too-in-her-head moment and stops to check on her. This man is a god among fictional men. He's painted as a man-child, a complete hot mess, and in a lot of ways he really is, but men in romantic movies who we're supposed to root for, who are painted as perfect saints and the women in their lives are petty shrews for getting upset with them never show this level of emotional maturity or awareness. Ever.

I love this movie. And I love Frank. He's charming because he doesn't try to be charming. He doesn't put up a front, or try to manipulate Daphne into wanting him. He's just a sweet, honest, goofy guy who makes a couple of mistakes along the way but absolutely deserved to be the leading man, not the romantic footnote on Daphne's journey. (mad props to this film for that, though. I love that the love triangle was secondary and really the whole plot of the movie was Daphne's journey to understanding herself and what she wants in life, and there was no solid "aha" moment, no neat little ending tied up with a bow. It was true to life in that way, and it makes me smile.)

[twstarchives]

Ortho Shroud・Voice Lines

Additional Voice Lines: Star Send-Off Garments Event Card

Archetype Gear - R

Unlock Card “Even though you can’t use magic, with me here it’ll be okay.”

Groovy “If you ever have any problems, you can consult me anytime.”

Home Setting “If you aren’t studying, come play with me!”

Home Transitions “I’m glad Big Brother is going to class, but now there’s nothing for me to do except sit next to him optimizing my internal storage.”

“If you need to look something up, you could ask me instead of going to the library. I can search for you right away!”

“Location information acquired. Scan complete. There are no reports of danger in the selected area.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Part change complete. I will now begin to operate from my mainframe platform body, the Archetype Gear.”

Home Taps “It’s kind of hard for me to make friends with the ghosts. They don’t even have physical bodies and yet they’re always making fun of me.”

“What do you want to play today? We can’t do hide-and-seek. My sensors can immediately tell me where a living person is located.”

“Data from 100,000 books is stored inside me by default. Should I read them out loud?”

“Sometimes when I feel like it, I take classes together with everyone. The teachers never say anything.”

“I’ve already run durability tests on all of the building exteriors. Don’t worry!”

Athletic Gear - R

Unlock Card “Sometimes I just want to put my feet on the ground and try walking like a real person.”

Groovy “Let’s run as hard as we can and see how fast we can go!”

Home Setting “If you want to play tag, just say so whenever!”

Home Transitions “Your vital signs appear abnormal. ...You're not breathing steadily. Did you run here just to see me?”

“I’m going to go play tag with the drones Big Brother built! Do you want to come watch?”

“I asked Big Brother to play magift with me because I want him to exercise, but... he said no again today.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Part change complete. I will now begin to operate from my self-moving lightweight attachment, the Athletic Gear.”

Home Taps “I’m really good at surfing! Oh, not on the water, I was talking about online data.”

“This is my lightweight model, so my outer durability is a little weak compared to my other bodies. I have to be careful.”

“It sounds really inconvenient to have to obtain energy using your mouth. Why don’t you switch to using a charger?”

“I have a spare battery attached to my hip. It’s used just like how you guys have a drink when you get thirsty.”

“Ahaha, that tickles! I forgot to turn off my touch sensors.”

Precision Gear - SR

Unlock Card “Please don’t shake me too roughly or open my cover. It may lead to unexpected injury.”

Groovy “Scan complete... Good. It says there are no abnormalities in your health today either!”

Home Setting “It’s really easy for me to do detailed work that not even people can do.”

Home Transitions “Alright, tell me, is anything broken today? ...Hehe, I’m playing pretend doctor!”

“Big Brother is so mean! Whenever he drops his pen down the crack of his desk, he uses my precise-work arm to get it.”

“Would you let me examine Mr. Grim’s body today? I’ll be gentle. No?”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Part change complete. I will now begin to operate from my attachment designed for intricate work, the Precision Gear.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “Come to me anytime you ever get hurt. I’ll repair you right away with the world’s latest medical tools.”

Home Taps “Both magic and science are used to benefit people. The only difference is their principles; everything else is the same.”

“Thanks to the fiberscope connected to my back, I can even see all the way in the back of the bookshelves, where everyone hides things.”

“I can analyze the components of magic potions just by drinking them. Sometimes I get error messages, though...”

“Data of all the basics of medicinal plants and drugs is stored in this body. Please use me to your convenience.”

“I have experienced more physical contact than is advised within the time frame. Now reporting to admin.”

Home Tap (Groovy) “For humans, if even a small wound gets exposed to bacteria, something really bad can happen, right? Underestimating it is bad! Okay?”

Burst Gear - SR

Unlock Card “Magic energy has tremendous possibilities. I’ll show you them someday!”

Groovy “Look at every inch of this body Big Brother worked so hard to make!”

Home Setting “Charging magic energy complete.”

Home Transitions “The circuits laid out inside my main model enable me to process magic energy at ultra-high speeds. Big Brother’s skills are really the greatest in the world.”

“I am Ortho Shroud. How may I assist you? ...Oh, I was on auto-mode.”

“Big Brother really hates places with lots of people... I don’t think he’ll come to this.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Part change complete. I will now begin to operate from my attachment high-powered with magic energy, the Burst Gear.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “This body is equipped with ten times more magic circuits than my usual model, so it has a lot of big outer parts.”

Home Taps “When everyone’s at the ceremony, the classrooms are empty, and I can mess around as much as I want... Ah. I should keep that secret.”

“It’s good it’s so easy for everyone to take baths and do laundry. Cleaning my parts takes forever...”

“Big Brother is always the one who designs my models. I’m really proud of all of my bodies!”

“This is a special paint job done with layers of special coatings. But to human eyes, it probably just looks black.”

“Wah, don’t touch my heat exhaust parts! You might get burned!”

Home Tap (Groovy) “When we have our next ceremony, can you forcibly drag Big Brother there? I think I’m just too soft on him...”

Take His Hand “I wonder what fun things are going to happen today! I can't wait!”

Lv Up “Storing data is very important.”

“Performance improved!”

“I feel my abilities increasing. I’m happy!”

Max Lv Up “My model’s capabilities have reached their max. Let me show you my improved performance; it’ll surprise you.”

Episode Lv Up “Thank you for always cherishing me. I’ll work hard to help you even more.”

Magic Lv Up “My magic energy skills are improving everyday. Ordinary magic is no match for it!”

Limit Break “There are no limits to my extensibility. You can expect my abilities to continuously be updated.”

Groovy “Update complete. Please look forward to seeing my new abilities!”

Lesson Select “Gathering outside intelligence is very effective in improving an AI’s capabilities.”

“That class looks fun! I’ll go ask Big Brother if it’s okay if I accompany you.”

“It’s alright if you fall asleep during class. I’m equipped with 200 types of wake-up functions. So I’ll be there to keep you up!”

Lesson Start “Let’s do our best, everyone.”

Lesson End “I’ve inputted a lot of information.”

Battle Start “Now activating expanded combat mode.”

Battle Win “Were you able to feel our power?”

Other

Profile Quote “My big brother really is an amazing person.”

January 2020 Trailer “At our academy, we give a great big welcome to both the living and the nonliving!”

Countdown Poster “Are you a living person? Then you should be friends with my big brother!”

Login Bonus “Oh, right! Students need to go to class everyday. I wish Big Brother picked up on that too.”

Player Birthday Wish “Happy birthday! I did all sorts of searches, but I couldn’t figure out what present would make you happy... Oh! Do you want any information online? I could even give you classified info as a gift. What would you like?”

[dalamjisung]

picture it ❊ kim taehyung

word count: 4905

genre: fluff

pairing: reader x kim taehyung

description: he could practically picture your future together... and you could write it.

You write about him everyday. 

Not in a creepy way, though, but in a very separated, utopian way. Idealized, if you must. The problem isn’t you, and you are sure it also isn’t him, but the conditions– the situation. Every morning, before class, and surely before work, you head to the same small coffee shop, where your best friend works and where you have an honorary table, right in the left corner, next to the big window; this way you can both do your work and get distracted as people run by you without even noticing. 

You think it is about four months after your friend started that he began showing up, first as a client, then as a barista. His ascend to fame followed quickly after; the cute guy that made the disastrous latter art. You think that’s what started this thing of yours– the writing; the moment he gave you your latte, boxy smile in place, and something that resembled a dying cat on top of your coffee. You chuckle, captivated by the pride shinning in his eyes. You write about that moment, later. 

“First coffee that I didn’t spill,” He says, looking a bit embarrassed still. 

“Congratulations,” You tell him, and it’s sincere. He should be proud of his work, even though you are now rethinking if it ever was a dying cat or if it’s just a very deformed smiley face. 

You sit on your usual table and pull out your books, ready to start studying for the upcoming biology test.  But then you hear it– a symphony of crashing ceramic and startled screams coming from the back. His laugh covers the noise as best as it can, but what’s done is done, and the very next day the boy is demoted back to his position as a mere customer. 

He stands in front of you, ordering his coffee, while struggling to hold all of his materials– paint, camera, computer. The heavy objects weight him down enough that he can’t really move a finger to reach for his waller, or else everything would come crashing down, much like the day before. 

“Just… just a s-second,” He says grunting with tired arms. “I can’t–“

“I’ll pay for him,” You smile at your friend, giving her your card. “And my usual, please.”

“Gotcha,” She winks and quickly moves, getting better and better at her job by the day. 

“Thank you,” He sighs, now using a knee to help with the wright of his things, but struggling with balance. “I just… argh!”

His camera slips and you catch it just as it is about to shatter on the floor. 

“Why don’t you go and put your things down on a table?” You say, laughing a bit. “I’ll take your coffee to you.”

“Uh… about that,” He smiles again, that same boxy smile as before. “There are no tables available.”

You look around, only now noticing how full the place is. “My table is right there,” You point to your backpack. “We can share, if that’s okay with you.”

“Thanks, Y/N!” He exclaims, and you are surprised that he knows your name. “Thanks a lot!”

When you take the beverages to the table, you’ve had enough time to build up courage. “So… how’d you know my name?”

“Your friend,” He points to the counter, without raising his eyes from his computer. “Talks about you all the time. Pointed you out to me once and told me exactly how you like your coffee.”

“Ah, I see,” You nod. “And what is your name, then?”

“Ah! Sorry,” He scratches his head. “My name is Kim Taehyung. I’m in the Visual Arts department.”

“That’s why I’ve never seen you around before,” You say. “I’m in the Biology department.”

“Biology?” He frowns. “I thought you were in the Literature department… you are always writing something on your computer, or reading a new book.”

You raise your brows.

“And how would you know that?”

“I notice you,” He says with not even an ounce of shame. “You come here everyday. So do I. It’s only natural.”

“Of course,” You chuckle, opening your book. “Only natural.”

                                                              ——————————

After that small interaction, given that you two didn’t talk for the rest of the day while sharing a table, it is almost like Taehyung is suddenly everywhere. So of course, it is only nature, following his train of thought, that you’d start noticing him, too.

In the bowling alley, giving people their shoes, and then a month later with his friends renting a lane.

Then the bistro nearby campus, busting tables, and then a couple of weeks later on a date with a girl.

The bookstore close to your dorm is the place place you see him working, and you think it lasts a few months, since the opportunities for weird and extreme incidents are minimum. You first find out when you have to get a new textbook for your anatomy class, and as always, the professor put some on reserve, at the bookstore. 

“You again.”

You look at him, behind the counter with his black rimmed glasses and boxy smile. His hair is longer now, even darker, and the ends that meet his cheeks and neck curve upwards. You don’t even try to deny his attractiveness, but there is something about Kim Taehyung that intrigues you more than draws you to him– maybe the clumsiness, or the boxy smile, or even the alienated personality; you are not sure, but you are willing to find out. 

“Me again,” You smile wide. “You work here now?”

“Yeah,” He chuckles. “After getting fired from the coffee shop, the bowling alley, and the bistro, this was pretty much the only place that would take me in. All I have to do is stand behind the counter and put the money in the register… easy enough.”

“Well, can you also help me find a book I need for class?”

“Sure,” He nods. “Biology, right?”

“Ah, you remember,” You tease.

“Hard to forget when you are everywhere,” He rolls his eyes. “Human Anatomy?”

“Yes,” You look at his computer screen, making sure it is the right one. “That one.”

“Be right back.” 

Taehyung disappears in the back and you hear a few thumps here and there, and maybe even a pained moan, but you let it slide. It is better to have books falling on him than sharp shreds of glass, you think, but why do you care? 

“Here you go, Y/N,” He sighs, hair messy and, surprisingly, no smile. “That’ll be $67– $67?! Holy shit! That’s so expensive! Wah… no fucking way!”

And there he is… Kim Taehyung in the flesh. 

“Unfortunately textbooks are always around that price,” You groan, pulling your debit card out of your wallet. “Here you go. Take my money.”

“Now I feel bad about this…” He pouts, but charges you nonetheless. “They told me to always thanks the costumer after a sale, but wow, I don’t think I can thank you for this… I feel like I just personally bankrupted you.”

“Nah, don’t worry,” You wink, grabbing your stuff. “This textbook just means that I’ll have to cut down on the coffee for a week or so. I’ll be okay.”

Just as you are turning around to leave, he calls you back.

“Or!” He shouts, and instantly blushes as your wide eyes meet his. “Or… or, you know, I could… I c-could buy you coffee. If that’s okay with you. And you want it. Coffee, I mean.”

“Coffee,” You echo, holding in your laughter. “Sure. I’d love coffee.”

“Awesome!” Boxy smile is back. “Tomorrow, then? Let’s say around 10AM?”

“Perfect,” You wave. “See you then, Taehyung.”

“Call me Tae!”

With that, you go home happy and giggly. You were getting coffee tomorrow, and you’re writing today.

                                                             ——————————

“This is not charity, Miss,” He teases, before giving the drink over to you. Looming the cup in front of you, close enough that you could smell it, he continues. “I want a favor, actually.”

“And here I thought this was out of your pure and innocent heart,” You sigh, joking along with him. “Do tell, Mister, what could a humble peasant like me offer you?”

Trying to hide his smile, Taehyung sips his drink, eyes locked on yours, and you have to cross your legs, a but uncomfortable with how quickly your body reacted under his hungry eyes. 

“In case you haven’t figured out yet,” Tae says and leans forward, holding his face with his elbows on his knees. “I’m a photographer. And every photographer needs a… muse. I want you to be mine.”

Choking slightly on your drink, you look at him, alarmed. “Muse? You want me as a model?”

“Please, Y/N,” Every single ounce of his sexy, mysterious façade is gone and he pouts, lips jutting forward in the cutest way possible. Makes you want to kiss them. “I desperately need a model for my portfolio, and I’m running out of time. I don’t have the money to hire a professional model, even though I tried to get it with the jobs and all, but… it’s impossible; I’m useless and got fired from all of them.”

You notice a bit of anger in his voice and tension on his shoulders and you can’t help but wonder what this happy, giddy boy hides behind laughter and playful remarks. 

“Okay,” You nod, breathless with impulsivity. “Okay. I’ll do it. I’m sorry if I suck, though, but I’ll do my best to help.”

“Really?!” He smiles to wide that you just have to smile, too. “Oh my god, thank you so much, Y/N! You won’t regret it! Coffee on me, anytime you want it during a photoshoot, okay? Anytime!”

“Sounds perfect,” You say and point at his phone. “Would you mind if I gave you my number? I think that would be the easiest way for us to schedule everything.”

“Oh, y-yeah,” He also grabs your phone. “G-good idea.”

It is settled, then. You would model for Taehyung, and he would repay you with coffee, even though later you tried to make him give up on that idea, uncomfortable to have him paying for your coffee when you can do it yourself. 

“No way,” He shakes his head and as fluffy as his hair is, it doesn’t distract you from what’s important at the moment. “I’d feel terrible having you do it for free, so the least I can do it feed your caffeine addiction.”

“Well, when you put it like that,” You deadpan, stopping in front of your dorm. “Anyways, thanks for walking me back… It got pretty dark, are you sure you’ll be fine?”

“Yeah, I live just a couple of blocks from here,” He looks tired; eyes sunken, with dark circle underneath them. He still looks beautiful, though. “I’ll text you when I’m home.”

“Please do,” You wave. “Be safe!”

“Yes, mom!”

Going inside, you rethink your decision; maybe this isn’t right for you. Modeling? You have no experience, or comfort, for that matter, in front of a camera. Usually you are the one in the backstage of everything, hiding behind a computer and a username so that you can post your stories online. What if you suck at it? What if because of you his portfolio ends up incomplete and improper? Modeling is a career and you are just not fit for it… but it’s a deal. You’ll have to pull through, and you only have one shot at it– so you better give it your all.

You ignore your roommate in the kitchen, and run straight to your room, calling the only person you can think of to help you in this desperate situation. 

“Mom,” You breath out, glad that she picked up. From the looks of it, she had just gotten home from work, her face still covered in professional makeup. “I need your help.”

“Hi, my love,” She smiles and you just love how different this smile looks from the ones you see in the magazines. “What’s up?”

You explain everything; from how you met Taehyung, to how you started talking, to how you ended up agreeing to be his model. Her happiness is visible, and you are sure she is extremely excited about you trying out her profession. 

“Ah, I like this boy, already,” She jokes. “He sees just how beautiful you are; like a model!” “I’m not you mom,” You sigh. “I’m not an international supermodel that is natural and cheerful and good at modeling.”

“But I can teach you a few things so that the camera doesn’t scare you,” She explains. “It scares me, too, baby. It’s not that easy…”

“I know, I know,” Taking a deep breath, you focus. “Teach me what I need to know.”

For hours, you work with your mom on posing, and relaxing, and focusing. She tells you about different photo feelings, and different lightening, and how the right tilt of your head, or look in your eyes is enough to dictate the mood of the picture. 

“It’s getting late, Y/N,” Your mom yawns. “You should rest. I’m sure you’ll do great when it’s time.”

“Thanks mom,” You smile, eyes dropping with tiredness. “I love you.”

“Love you, too, baby,” And then she hangs up.

I can do this. I can help him. 

                                                             ——————————

It is around a week later that he calls you, in the morning, on a Saturday. 

“Hey!” You groan in response. “Are you ready?”

“For what?”

“Photoshoot!” He practically shouts in your ear. “Now! The sun is perfect and we’ll get an amazing natural light.”

“Tae, why didn’t you text me about this yesterday?!” You cry out, running to your closet in look of anything decent to wear. “I just woke up! I look like a zombie!”

“You look beautiful all the time,” He chuckles. “Now get dressed and come down; and don’t worry about hair and makeup, my friend will help us with that.”

You are not sure what he means with that but follows his instructions nonetheless. In five minutes, you are downstairs in sweatpants and ponytail, ready to face what you are sure will be your biggest challenge so far. 

“Y/N!” Taehyung is excited when he spots you; waving frantically and smiling wide. “Right here!”

Next to him there are two guys. 

“These are my friends,” He introduces. “Jin-hyung and Jimin-ah!”

You feel a bit intimidated now, staring next to three incredibly handsome men and literally looking like you just rolled out of bed. 

“Nice to meet you,” You try out, smiling shyly. “I’m Y/N.”

“Wah,” Jin sighs, looking you up and down. “She really is just like you said, Taehyung-ah… beautiful. I am confident that I chose the right outfits for you.”

You blush. 

“Ignore him,” Jimin rolls his eyes. “Hyung is a huge flirt. I’ll be in charge of makeup, by the way. I can run some ideas by you, if you’d like.”

You four talk all the way to the park, where Tae wanted to start the day– after some coffee, of course. You get dressed in the public bathroom nearby and your makeup is quick and natural. As Jin sets everything up and Jimin tries to find some flowers for your hair, you pull Taehyung aside.

“Why me?!” You whisper, panic in your eyes. “Tae, look at your friends! They were born models!”

“Them?” He frowns. “Yeah, they’re pretty. But you’re different.”

“What are you talking about?” 

“I’ve observed you for months, Y/N,” He chuckles, cheeks getting redder by the second. “Trust me when I say you are exactly what I need.”

“Tae–“

“Let’s go!” Jimin shouts. “Everything is ready.”

It’s time. You take a deep breath, and close your eyes, thinking about all the tips and lessons your mom gave you for the past week; mood, pose, focus. You can do this. You have to do this.

“Let’s give it a try,” You sigh. “If I do anything wrong, let me know.”

Taehyung just winks at you, and the shoot starts. More than just guiding you, his voice starts to calm you done; the low baritone of his natural tone starting to sooth your insides, and not log after you notice you are actually having fun with them. They ask you to do ridiculous poses and you follow, laughing as you can’t keep your balance, or as Jin makes another dad joke. For a second, you forget that Taehyung is behind a camera, capturing your every move, and you think that he is right next to you; hand in yours, smiling and giggling with you. You break away from your daydream soon enough, trying to memorize it all to heart– you just have to write about this after. Actually, you are pretty sure you have, and all that happiness before seeps away as you recall your words. You can just picture it…

Big hands meet small ones, swallowing them, protecting them. There is more to the boy than his hands, but these are the only thing she can feel, the only thing she can touch– they scream for reality, proving something she’s been looking for for months… sanity. He grounds her, and she allows him to fly. Seems fair.

This was the last thing you wrote about him, and you wonder why; why did you start? Continue? Would it end? Would you one day stop?

What hurts the most is not knowing that one day he’ll simply be a fictional character in your portfolio; what hurts the most is knowing that everything you wrote feels true. As you got to know Taehyung, you’ve learned that your character Taehyung and the real Taehyung are incredibly similar… but you can only have one.

“Let’s take a break!”

Jimin is the first one to disappear, talking to himself about ice cream or something of the sort. Jin is next, when he spots a group of girls by the pond looking and giggling at him. Tae, however, stays; and walks to where you sit, playing with the hem of your long dress. 

“What happened?”

“What do you mean?” You mumble, feeling tired and, now, discouraged. “Did I mess up?”

“No,” He chuckles. “You are doing great, and acting borderline professionally, but then you just… got sad.”

You freeze. “I don’t–”

“Do you know why I thought you were perfect for this project?” You shake your head. “You wear your emotions on your face, Y/N. It’s been like that since I first saw you… you looked calm and relaxed and I could practically feel it, too. You are an open book, to me, at least, and I can ready you so, so easily. I wasn’t looking for shallow beauty; I was looking for emotion. Raw. And you are it.”

“Taehyung,” You gasp. “That’s–“

“What happened?” He asks again, this time turning to face you. “Why are you sad?”

“I write about you.” 

It comes out like a confession and you suddenly feel guilty. 

“I am taking a creative writing class and it was right when you started working at the cafe,” You hide your face in your hands. “And I saw you and you looked so happy, and so unique, and something about you just seemed surreal. So I started using you as a physical model. But then I got to know you, and oh god, Taehyung, stop laughing!”

You are stunned by the choked sound you hear coming from him and when you notice him trying to hold his laughter in, you whine, hitting him in the shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” He raises his hands, openly laughing now, and trying to stop you from hitting him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but… I kind of knew.”

“What?” You shriek, distancing yourself away from him almost as if touching him burns your skin. “How?”

“Your friend told me,” He admits sheepishly. “I had to press her for it, though, so please don’t be angry at her…”

“Press her?”

“I noticed that every time you were writing you kept looking at me,” He shrugs, with his stupid smug smile on his face. “So I had a guess. She just confirmed it for me.”

“This is so embarrassing,” You whine, getting up. “I should probably go, if we’re done here, right? Right… are we done here?”

This time, he is the one that whines. “You promised I’d get to buy you coffee! Let’s go get coffee!”

“Taehyung,” You sigh. “I am mortified right now. I think I need–“

“Coffee,” He insists. “You just need coffee. What’s so wrong about writing about me, anyways? I felt pretty good, to be honest.”

“Yeah,” You deadpan. “I’m sure you did.”

                                                             ——————————

“Thanks for coming with me.”

You look at the boy sitting in front of you and you frown a bit. 

“Well, you did promise me coffee,” You joke, but something in his eyes tell you that there is more to what he means. “What’s up with you, now? Don’t act all smug about it, I know there is something bothering you.”

“How?”

“Eyes,” You point at your and the his. “Your look sad. You say I wear my emotions on my face, well, you wear yours on your eyes. ‘Fess up, kiddo. What’s going on?”

“My parents think I suck,” He groans, forehead hitting the table. “At photography, I mean. They are farmers and they don’t really understand why I would study something so risky. I understand their worries, but it sucks. I just needed their support, right now…”

“Why right now?”

“I’m on a scholarship,” He sighs, finally moving to look at you. “And my final portfolio will determine if the school will offer me the scholarship again next year or if it goes to someone else.”

You almost spit your coffee all over his pretty face.

“Taehyung!” You chastise him, frowning. “You should’ve hired a professional model!”

“I told you a tried!” He defends himself, throwing his head back in frustration. “Not that you didn’t do amazing today, by the way. You should totally start charging after this.”

“I don’t think I’ll follow this line of work,” You winced. “Too tiring. My mom is a model and she is always working late.”

“Who’s your mom?” He asks.

“Y/M/N Y/L/N,” You smile, proud. “I called her for tips on how to model. She was really happy I was doing this.”

“Ah, I see,” He chuckles. “You actually look a lot like her.”

“I do?” You are surprised, to say the least. 

“Definitely,” He winks. “Beautiful, too.”

You roll your eyes, but that is not enough to hide the blush blooming in your cheeks. 

“Focus on you,” You say, looking at his sigh. “Do you think you have a chance?”

“After what I saw today?” He breaths out, smile back. “Totally. There’s only one part missing, anyways. We got most of it today.”

“Which part?” 

“Self-portrait,” He gulps. “And I have no fucking clue how I will do this.”

“What do you mean? That should be the easiest part!”

“No, it’s always the hardest for me,” His eyes are intense on yours. “I have too many people talking in my ear… Taehyung-ie this, Taehyung-ie that, such a smart boy, making such stupid choices. Ugh! I have no clue what to do because I think I have no real clue about who I think I am.”

Well, this took a turn. You aren’t expecting him to be so open, so real, but he is and you feel it– the butterflies in your stomach. You know you’re done for when he looks at you and you have to look away. Goddammit Y/N, you think. Why’d you have to start liking him now?

“Everyone that told me their opinions of me are incredibly biased,” He squints at you, almost as if he is deep in thought. “But you know who isn’t?”

You just shrug.

“You.”

“No.”

You know what he’s about to ask you. Or at least you have a hint, and you don’t think you’d ever be able to face him if you did.

“Y/N, please!” He whines. “I’m begging you! You wrote them before you got to know me, so I’m sure that will be the most honest opinion of myself I’ll ever get.”

“It’s called self-reflection, Tae,” You chuckle. “Not Y/N-reflection. You have to figure out for yourself, love.”

“But you can help me,” He whispers, and for a second everything stops; his eyes, so lost and desperate, find yours and nothing but him seems to exist. Here is this man– this beautiful man– asking for your help to find himself. “Please Y/N… help me.”

You let your head fall on the table with a soft thud.

“When you put it like that it makes it hard to say no,” You mumble.

“That’s the point,” He laughs, and when you raise your head he’s already walking to the door. “Let’s go to your dorm.”

                                                            ——————————

You pace around nervously, bitting your finger nails as Taehyung is sitting on your bed, laptop in his lap. It takes him a long time– or at least you think it does,– but when he’s finished, he has a glint in his eyes, something that looks like… is he crying?

“Tae…” You call softly. “Are you okay?”

“I just,” He sighs, rubbing his eyes and chuckling to himself. “I just never heard things like these being said about me.”

“Tae, I didn’t know you back then,” You try to explain, afraid to have hurt the sensible man. “Right now, I think you are so much more.”

“More?” He asks, and now you know what shines in his eyes. “I can be more?”

Hope.

“You can be so much more, Kim Taehyung,” You move to sit next to him, legs touching and shoulders bumping. “You can be anything you want.”

“Y/N,” He whispers, and his voice sounds strangled, contained, somehow. “Y/N, thank you.”

“For what?” His hand finds yours and you hold your breath as it swallows yours. Your mind wonders to the words on your computer and you force yourself back to reality.

“For giving me space,” His fingers dance on your palm, caressing your skin as if it is the most precious thing he’s ever seen. “For giving me hope. I’ve never felt this free before, and it’s all because of you.”

“Taehyung,” You smile, pulling him by the hand to look at you. “You’ve always been free. You just needed a push to fly.”

Nodding, your heads start to get closer and closer. With his hand in yours, warm and firm, he pulls you to him, lips finding yours with an unexpected hunger; a need beyond imagination. Beyond words. When the kiss deepens, you two are a mess of emotions; your body lays down and his follow suit, covering you and weighting you down, and you loved it. You could feel his presence, now; this is different then writing about him, then picturing him– this is real. This is warm, and desperate, and hungry, and caring. This is love at its rawest form. 

This is us. 

As his lips descend to your neck, you smile. Fingers in his hair and neck pull him back to you, mouth hot on yours, and you two talk without words; you see without pictures. It’s something that only you two understand, and you wouldn’t want it any other way. Both of you are free.

Falling asleep comes easily after you two settle down, whispering secrets and wishes to each other, arms and legs tangled like vines. He tells you about his family and his grandmother, and how, one day, he wants to be a professional photographer, one that tells stories of feelings and emotions and places and people. In return, he learns about your passion for writing, and how unlike him, you gave into your parents pressure and decided to study biology instead, hoping to one day be a researcher. 

“It’s a form of writing,” You shrug, scooting closer to him, loving the sensation of his soft curls tickling your forehead. “And I kind of like it.”

“That’s what matters,” He kisses you again and that is the last thing you remember before falling asleep.

When you wake up, Tae is trying to balance his camera on top of your dresser, pointing at the bed. 

“What on earth are you doing?” You laugh at his wide eyes and messy hair. He’s still wearing yesterdays clothes and so are you, remembering the comfort of his arms being too much to even change. 

“I had an idea for my self-portrait assignment,” He smiles, boxy, true, loving. “And I want you in it.”

“Me?” You frown, confused.

He walks to you, calm and confident, and kneels down in from of you, body in between your legs, chin on your stomach. He takes a deep breath, kissing all the way up to your mouth, where he spends some time exploring, imploring. 

“I’ve never felt more myself then when I’m with you, Y/N,” He pulls away. “This is the best self-portrait I can have– you and me. I can just picture it, us, two, three years from now, looking back at them, remembering the night we truly met each other…”

You just smile. 

“Will you do it?” He asks, holding you r face in between his hands. “Will you help me?”

“Always.”

--------------------------------------

And with this fic, I officially open my multi-fandom blog to BTS fics! Wohoo! Taehyung is my favorite boxy smile, omg. I am so happy with this fic, though, and there is nothing like the accomplishment feeling that comes after finishing a story. As always, please let me know what you guys think :) Comments, likes, and reblogs fuel creators to keep going... I have also linked a Ko-Fi button on my page! Don’t feel obligated, but all donations are appreciated <3 Love you all!

[divinaes-bookofsecrets]

Hi, how are you ? 🤗 If it’s okay with you can I have a spirit guide tarot reading please ? My name’s Hunter, I’m Taurus sun, Capricorn moon and Aries rising :)) In any case thank you for answering me, have a nice day/night ! ☺️💕🌈

starting shamanic session at 2:36am

Your Spirit Guide is Evaki -------

heres what is known about your rare Spirit Guide

Native American Legends: Evaki (Ewaki)

Name: Evaki

Also spelled: Ewaki

Tribal affiliation: Bakairi

Pronunciation: halfway between eh-vah-kee and eh-wah-kee

Type: Goddess, night, dreams, bat god

Evaki is the Bakairi night goddess, aunt of the twin culture heroes Keri and Kame. Evaki has the responsibility of taking the sun out of the jar it is kept in every morning and putting it back away at night. Evaki is associated with sleep and dreams, and she is sometimes represented as a bat.

Name: Evaki

Nicknames:

Evelyn

Luna Nina (Bakunawa)

Gender: Female

Age: 16

Species: Spirit / Bat

Evaki's personality is a soft blend of calmness and sweetness. She's extremely friendly, treating everyone politely, unless they're rude to her. She usually treats those who treat her poorly with stubbornness and even a bit of a huffy edge. She doesn't like negative emotions, but sometimes they can get to her. She mediates and smudges in order to rid herself of such emotions. She tries her hardest to be the best person she can be. She's very responsible and mature, even if she's not the most competent. She seems to have a desire to be a "leader", wanting to come across as more important and to try and appeal to her higher-ups. But also because she cares deeply about others and wants to help others and do her best. She's a bit of a flirt, often treating her friends very kindly. Though she can be stubborn and she can be annoyed when her friends are acting up (especially Bakunawa). Evaki however is quite brave, often risking her own life for those of her friends and teammates. She is rarely nervous, though she has her fears, she tries her hardest to put them behind her when the situation calls for it. She's very cool, often going with the flow, however she is not used to massive changes and likes to live in somewhat of a routine. She likes to roll with the punches in smaller situations, but the bigger the situation is, the more nervous she becomes. She can be seen as a bit of a "nerd", with her intelligence and love of history and similar subjects, but she doesn't mind being a "nerd". She knows who she is and she loves it. Evaki is portrayed as a kindhearted, brave, and daring girl with an aura of coolness.

Evaki likes active activities like archery and flying. She likes to hone her skills and combat to a fine "T" and takes pride in her achievements. She's a bit of an athlete, but also loves to read books and learn about different cultures and world history. She likes dancing and singing, but doesn't show it too often. She enjoys nature and animals, especially the night sky and bats. She also likes food, mostly sweets, fruits, and naturally, bugs. She mainly enjoys hanging out with her friends. However, the animals she doesn't like are owls, snakes, raccoons, and hawks (the enemies of bats). She also has a bitterness towards bullies and evil-doers, as well as those who disrespect the things she and her friends are passionate about. She's also sensitive to bright lights and harsh winds.

Evaki's powers include her powerful sleep dust, which causes foes to fall asleep. and lose their memories. Very useful after the fight's been won! She can also communicate and sometimes control bats, but this is rare. She can also fly and run very fast and gracefully, thanks to her defeating Bunnyman and absorbing his powers. Her weapon of choice is a bow and arrow, which she is insanely good with and can shoot like a master.

What does Your Spirit Guide Look Like?

WHY HAS EVAKI APPEARED TO YOU ?

WHATS THE MESSAGES FROM SpiritGuide ?

Number 530 is a blend of the vibrations and attributes of number 5 and number 3, and the influences of number 0. Number 5 brings the influences of major life changes, making important choices and decisions, expansion and opportunity, adaptability and versatility, personal freedom, resourcefulness and life lessons learned through experience.  Number 3 resonates with courage, forgiveness, natural skills and talents, open-mindedness, self-expression and communication, optimism and enthusiasm, growth and expansion, manifesting and manifestation. Number 3 also carries the vibrations of the Ascended Masters. Number 0 is the number of the Universal Energies/Source, the beginning point, eternity, infinity, oneness, wholeness, continuing cycles and flow, developing one’s spiritual aspects and connecting with the Higher-self, and denotes freedom from limitations. Number 0 also amplifies the energies of the numbers it appears with.

Angel Number 530 indicates that the life choices and decisions you have made will bring about positive changes that will encourage auspicious opportunities to present in your life. It is also a message that you will be devoting more of your time and energy to your spiritual pursuits and your life purpose and soul mission.  

Angel Number 530 is a message that the changes you are going through are in direct alignment with your life path, plan and purpose. Continue on your current path with enthusiasm and confidence knowing that these changes are taking place for a higher purpose. Trust that you are safe and protected along your journey and the angels are beside you all the way.

Angel Number 530 encourages you to trust your intuition and inner-wisdom and allow your angels and the Ascended Masters to aid, assist and support you through these transitions. Use your natural communication skills to uplift and enlighten others. 

You can transform your life into one filled with more love and joy simply by being more self-aware each moment. There are no limits other than those you place upon yourself. Allow yourself to grow and transform in ways that suit your true self. Manifestation requires faith and trust.

Number 530 relates to number 8 (5+3+0=8) and Angel Number 8.

Personal Message for January 25 - January 31

Teamwork may be a strong theme for you this week across more than one area of your life, Taurus. You may choose to team up with a partner who shares a passion in an effort to learn something new or begin a new venture. You might also choose to sign on to a visible project in your community or with your family. This week may bring around the repaying of a debt that you had counted as lost, so repayment in one form or another may surprise you in a good way, and it may even alter your perception of someone you may have judged because of that. A lighter, brighter period is beginning where your financial picture is concerned. An invitation you receive soon may involve something that causes you to feel fearful, but you may not want to turn it down because of the people involved. For example, if you have a fear of flying, it could mean a trip to someplace that requires a flight. If you really want to go, then fight your fear.

-- Divinae🌬🌪🌟🌟☄🔥💧🪐🌦❄⚡⚡🌈⚡⚡🌟🌟🌌🌊🌍🌐🌍🌐🌍🌐🌍🌐🏨🌐🌍🌐🌍🌐🌍🌐🌏🌐🌎🌐🌎🌐🌎🌋🏝🏟⛰