#i trust daddy daichi with my life yall

[wewereonabteak1212]

Ok but imagine if every time you fell for a new character~ they become real only to you, and imagine them comforting you if something went wrong in the real world. Like just them walking into your room to see you curled onto a ball in tears and their heart just breaks before immediately either scooping you into their arms or rubbing your back also whilst whispering sweet little nothings into your ear, “ shhh it’s okay sweetheart, you did such a great job today” and then proceeding to take care of you until you’re better, cooking your favourite food, playing your favourite game with you or just cuddling. And if you fall asleep either on them or beside them they would pick you up and just hold you close while taking to you bed and then whispering “I love you” and giving you a kiss on the cheek. (So in this case I’d imagine DENKI kaminari, Daichi sawamura and venti doing this )

-dammmn okay so yeah enjoy this, honestly Im simping for anime characters again.

[fandemoanium]

*Coming out the bathroom with emotional support teddy bear soaking wet*: ok shower’s free 🥲

Daichi:…..babe the fuck?!

*Cuddling ensues~*

[ssvgawara]

Haikyuu characters as things said in the hhcu

a/n: this is pure humor and just something fun, the hhcu is wild and says stupid shit more than once a day so i complied a ridiculously long list of quotes and put them together in this list to share with yall so please enjoy, read more because again this is so long also pt 2. some of these r pretty nsfw so uh yeah <3

Oikawa: When he gives up his torso 😍 

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Nishinoya: Fisherman daddy

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Bokuto: I trust no condiments

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Osamu: YELLOW BAD OIKAWA IS NOT ALLOWED IN MY KITCHEN

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Tendou: Give ass in shiratorizawa?

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Atsumu: Garlic air freshener

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Nishinoya talking about his sex life: ITS THE GOOD OL FASHIONED POW POW GRUNT GRUNT WINDOW WASHER ULTIMATE FRISBEE DICK CONNECTOR 

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Hinata: thank you!! also my oven melted??? and caught on fire 😰 

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Yaku probably thinking abt kuroo while saying this: not gonna front im terrified of the live action grinch and if i ever see him its on sight

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Kageyama: Except that one mustard faze I had

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Lev after yaku kicks him yet again: NO INCH ACTIVE INCH VERY ACTIVE

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Suga after Kiyoko holds his hands: premarital eye contact is already a sin

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Iwaizumi realizing Oikawa probably wouldn’t know the difference between hawaiian rolls and milk bread: when he says hit it till it breaks, he means the packaging of hawaiin rolls

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All of Seijoh to Oikawa: You know whats really sexy? Self care.

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Hoshihumi: like a three year old. still baby but also evil at times🤡 

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Oikawa right before his death: "MORNING HAJI!~" slaps tiddie

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 Anyone falling on love with haikyuu boys: hey a good reverse harem never hurt anyone

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Idk who says it but terushima would do this: places his hand to my heart but then hes like heh heh boob squishy

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Tendou: centrepical force saved my bag of chocolate!!

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Lev thinking it was a literary masterpiece: *reads about a fourth of the bee movie*

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Hinata making fun of Kageyama: milk is better than the feeling of the ball touching your fingertips during a perfect set

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Hinata and Kageyama failing tests: thats just the dumbass in me babey!!!

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Atsumu simply trying to annoy Osamu: Are y’all meaning to tell me you DON’T take your raw chicken on walks through the city?

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Yahaba: PUSSY ALWAYS LEAVES

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Mattsun just to annoy everyone: yall ever think about how in the 50s and 60s they just put raw hotdogs or shrimp into jello and ate that shit and enjoyed it???

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Suga: i am now crying and my boyfriend is concerned and i can’t tell him that I’ve lost my husband and children

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Kenma; Smh my head

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Bokuto: Sorry not all of us can have double decker extra stuffed bottoms up extra large super sized t n a like me🥰🥰💅💅

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Everyone to bokuto: titty enthusiast ✨✨

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Me to kuroo: sorry babe youre a scorpio you dont have any rights anymore

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Tendou: i accidentally lit a  baby on fire

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Atsumu: This feels real human centipede

Bokuto: theyre not ass to mouth

Atsumu: Close enough

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Bokuto when a minor inconvience happens: Why are we still here? Just to suffer? Every day, I wake up....

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Sakusa: Remove your lips from my penis

Atsumu: I use a gluestick as chapstick i cant

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Goshiki: Arson or boot in my book, set fire to something live a little

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Tsukishima: I don’t like recieving pain. It hurts

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Kenma annoyed w kuroo: Put your dick in the fucking catfish’s pussy then

Kuroo being annoying: How deep is catfish pussy

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Makki to Mattsun: Ayo babe what if we fucked on the catfish tank

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Kiyoko tiredly, to Tanaka: I’m not putting salt and pepper on my pussy lips

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Saeko: I’ve got that Deep dish, super soaker, wet, succulent dripping honey suckle like sweet marinated mooseknuckle, extra thick, slip n slide, water park, waterbender, extra ribbed, the seven seas, gorilla grip, flex tape, primordial soup Dwayne the Rock Johnson, Cardi B, Megan Thee Stallion pussy

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Atsumu not really knowing what cooch means: I got the body builder cooch

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Oikawa after not sleeping to train, extremely sleep deprived: youre got unending

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Goshiki; Commit arson

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Akaashi: I leave for 10 minutes and Bokuto is 240v (mouth edition) fuckmaster pro 4000 with semen drip collection tray, automated self-lubricating 6 speed pulsating pussy and built in Polycrystalline floatable silicon

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Oikawa; I’m coming to murk your ass xoxo

Iwa: I will literally shiv you bitch

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Kindaichi: ✨ bob duncan exterminates you asmr✨

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Makki: I’ll try to find my favorite about Jacob sartorius vampire babies with Hillary Clinton

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Kenma after playing some obscure video game: also i can’t sleep😔 too busy thinking about human sized bats

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ME fuck yall im carpetting my bathroom: you already put rugs in the bathroom might as well carpet that bitch

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Kuroo talking abt something sciency idk: LIKE A BODY WIG

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Seijoh when iwa throws balls at oikawa: spousal abuse right in front of my salad

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Hinata making up some new stupid song: Ants on a log ants on a log

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Atsumu to piss off Osamu once more: world f amous allegra chicken

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Semi: Gay little Ushijima’s left hand

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Bokuto: Are you disagreeing with the fact that I am thicc as phuck

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Kiyoko: Guys is it uh... is it possible to sprain a titty cause.... Uh....

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Terushima: He laughed at the end of his own joke what a fuckin chad

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Bokuto: IS THAT THE DOG FROM ZOOTOOIA

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Kageyama: milk is kinda like organ paint huh

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Nishinoya: i don’t think socks taste good

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Tendou: out of your mummy, into my tummy

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Hinata; shout out to me who thought chickens had four legs until last summer

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Oikawa Hanger: I WANNA HANG MY CLOTHES ON HIM 

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Kenma: What a little pissbaby

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Yamaguchi: i am literally so curious about what it's like to kiss a boy that it's almost killing me

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Daichi about Suga: he may be cute, but istg there’s some kind of raging devil trapped in him

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Saeko: fuck society my titties are out

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Hinata after getting lecture by everyone for sneaking into the training camp: GOOD NEWS MY DAD IS NOT GOING TO PUT ME IN THE OVEN

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Just me thinking abt any first years: children. toddlers. Tikes.

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Me waiting for the fever: When is malaria?

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Uhhhhh probably tendou his vibes: Ill electrocute his cock

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Akaashi just go w it probably about bokuto: Why is he shoving cheese up the pussy

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Osamu tiredly: Ooey gooey cheesy chicken vagaina

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Nishinoya trying to catch a very large fish: Dom the Crab

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Bonus crabagraph: The crabs death reverberated and struck fear into the hearts of all crabs in existence because of this one 60+ year old mans volatile universe-crunching swing. Dude defied the laws of gravity by simply getting pinched by the crab. Man just reinvented the laws of physics and all of science due to the sheer force of will and untapped wellsprings if potential unleashed by the crab. If aliens show up it’s because the supersonic radio waves released by the banging of the crab against the cabinet are the first ever created in the universe. Man could cause a ripple in space-time with his crab launching abilities. Guy probably opened a gateway into another universe when he launched the crab. You see how the cabinet door opened and stayed open? It’s because this elder tore a hole through the fabric of reality to the Other Side simply because he experienced a minor bit of pain. The way he released a defeated roar of agony. The ancient gods awoke from their deep slumber and this old man single-handedly revived all his ancestors. New wars are about to start because of the way this man broke the barriers containing this reality into one fixed area. This universe is now expanding at such a rapid rate the the geosphere will now be reshaped. This man probably unknowingly blasted a hole in the other side of the planet because the shockwaves of the aggressive rippling effect of this poor crustacean slamming at lightning speed into a small wooden frame. The crabs insides were probably fused into the shell because this man’s angry, rage filled, pain filled battering ram of an arm throwing him through every known dimension and re-arriving in this one at the mere moment to experience the most pain a crab ever has or will in the rest of the existence of crabs. This elderly man probably has phased through and broken every human limiter known to man just because he got a minor pinch by a crab. He probably is bio-medically fused with crab DNA at this point. A legend.

[wewereonabteak1212]

Ok so this has been playing in my mind for months butttt~ ✨✨haikyu x mafia✨✨ (shhh I don’t have a thing for the mafia troop SHUT UP) ANWAYYYSSS here’s karasuno and what I think everyone would be:

Karasuno:

Daichi- would be the head honcho/ leader of his gang. He would be the type of mafia leader who would be nice at first but once you cross him a number of times, say your last prayers. Same goes with if you hurt his significant other, no second chances if you hurt them.

LoRd HeLp if you're his partner and you disobey his rules/orders(even though they are there for your safety) you've fucked up and are now in for a long night. Owns a nightclub. (WINK WINK) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dG-DH5_V3RA

Sugawara- right hand man. Knows everything and everyone and everything about everyone. Nothing gets passed his rader/ gayder. Slightly gay himself for daichi. Will catch you if you try to sneak out. Has a metal slipper to keep the rest of the team in line. Is the definition of two-faced. Also knows the best outfits for any occasion

Asahi- consigliere. Oddly is a really good chef. Knows the weirdest facts in existence. Consider everyone as family and honestly just want to sleep. LORD HELP if he gets access to alcohol. Looks scary but is a supporter of peace making. Is the peacemaker within the group.more of group butler

Tanaka and nishinoya- associates, hit men, would take care of weapons and annihilate people who cross paths wrongly with the karasuno gang. Would make all the bad jokes that could most likely get them into trouble with daichi. BOTH ARE KIYOKO SIMPS.

Ennoshita- intel personal spying on people. Daichis successor, and next leader once daichi passes. Only in the mafia to keep his family and friends safe. Has a degree in food studies and law.

Hinata- associate- physical combat division, and get away driver. Seems like a pure boy but will ruin your life and make you feel like shit

Kagayama- spy. Double agent for either the FBI or another mafia gang (no one knows), everyone else is weirrie of him and is careful what they mention. Has a hard exterior but if you happen to catch him late at night in his room without him noticing you, he would be chanting along to kpop groups(specifically female groups)

Tsukishima- intel and negotiation guy. Would go to meetings in place of daichi when needed. Hates almost everyone but has a soft spot for yamaguchi. But it is cool to just be friends with yams since yams like yachi. EVERYONE THINKS HE'S SECRETLY A SOFT BOY.- bestie no he's just as mean on the inside as he is on the outside. Best leave his two faced ass alone

Yamaguchi- associate bodyguard, fighter(when needed) and when he is needed to either distract or fight, MAN is heGOOD at it. Has a thing for yachi. Falls asleep sucking on his thumb.(MY HEART ARGHHH) Also only in the mafia due to blackmail. Refuses any person's love confession to not get them caught in the mess of the mafia. Entertains at daichis club- plays piano and is a stand up comedian.

Kiyoko- spy, seduces other gangs to get information. Good with guns and crossbows. Close with daichi, is not afraid to tell him when he's fucked up. Fearless bitch! PERIOD! SHE IS UNTOUCHABLE- the boys will attack you if you try, she's also good at dodging you. Became part of the mafia due to a bet with daichi- he said she wouldn't ever get involved… her response was “FUCKING BET!”

Yachi- associate, works with disguises, mannages supplies and money. Works at daichis nightclub, great at making cocktails. Also an assassin. GROUP THERAPIST!!!!

As a group: chill chaotic, if you're new to town and make contact with them everyone else will warn you in secret once they’re gone. If they take an interest in you and you don't want in, just say no thank you. Don't complicate things. HAS GAME NIGHTS AND MOVIE NIGHTS, would play genshin impact a lot. They’re kind in public, but everyone is afraid of them, and why should they?- not like they would take you off the grid, or would they?- only if you fuck up big time.

- I will write more for other teams but I have writers block so yeah~ actually Y’know what l, feel free to give suggestions into other teams or feel free to comment on this (hope y’all like it)

-(please don’t come for my neck these pictures are not mine I found them through Google)