#i truly am a summer baby this is my element

[nooomagnus]

eating strawberry shortcake on the couch after an afternoon of swimming in the river and laying in the sun.... it was a long winter

[elminx]

Winter Pesto: A Great February Pick-Me-Up

I’d be amiss to call myself the Pesto-Mystic and NOT talk about pesto sooner rather than later! As both a green witch and a kitchen witch, pesto is one of my all-time favorite things to make – it’s easy, comes together in less than 10 minutes, and always tastes AH-MAZING, am I right, or am I right?!? Plus, in the middle of the Winter, eating green food feels like shoving a hint of Summer into my mouth and I am all over that!

Though basil owns my heart and soul, during the dreary Winter months here in Southern New England, I turn to baby spinach for my pesto needs. By mid-winter I am always starved for a good meal full of vegetables that don’t look like they should have been eaten two weeks ago and this meal does the trick. I pair the spinach with a hearty nut like walnut or almond, a nice salty cheese like feta, and a healthy dose of garlic but any and all of these are up for adaptations – all that a pesto truly needs is the leaves and the oil. Winter Pesto can easily be made vegan by omitting the cheese or nut-free though both are part of the peak pesto experience for me.

My partner and I can eat pesto for days and days so this recipe will make enough for 3-4 meals depending on how much you like to eat at a time. It can easily be halved or quartered but I promise, once you’ve tasted this – you’ll want more!

There are SO many things that you can do with this pesto! You can add it to some pasta after it has cooked (like all pestos – this is meant to be a raw/uncooked sauce – just throw it in with 1/2 cup of the pasta water right before serving). You can add it to cooked meat before you serve. It’s great on cheese and crackers. It tastes AMAZING on eggs of all varieties (putting it inside an omelet is one of the only ways that I’ll actually cook it). It tastes great on baked potatoes. It can be added as a topping to many types of soup – if you haven’t had a good minestrone with pesto on top, you’re missing out!

As far as the witching goes – this pesto is GREEN. I tend to go with the overall color association and make it for abundance, growth, or money drawing – depending on what I need at the time. The garlic (if used) can add an element of protection or purification, dealers choice. The healthy dose of iron and trace minerals that you’ll get from the spinach will make you feel GREAT which really makes you know it’s working.

Making pesto is super simple, a good food processor helps but isn’t necessary. If you do make it by hand, make sure to mince the spinach and finely chop the nuts if adding. I use a food processor to keep the consistency and emulsify the olive oil. Ingredients

5 oz. Baby Spinach

1-4 cloves of fresh garlic (based on size and your tastes)

1/4 cup hearty nuts (almonds or walnuts) – optional

1/4 cup crumbled feta cheese – optional

3-4 tbs. Extra Virgin Olive Oil Mince or finely chop (using a food processor simplifies this process) until all ingredients are uniform in size, combine with olive oil until well coated. Serve raw/uncooked. Notes: Because feta is naturally salty, I do not salt this recipe – if omitting or using a lower salted cheese in its stead consider adding salt during the processing.

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[evqenvs3000s24]

Unit 02 Blog Post: My Ideal Role of Environmental Interpreter

This is me and some other amazing volunteers bottle-feeding baby squirrels in preparation for their release at a wildlife rehabilitation and education centre!

As an interpreter of nature, my ideal role would be in wildlife rehabilitation and education. I dream of being an answer to so many questions- where can I take this bird that flew into my window? I  found a baby squirrel alone in the road, what should I do with it? I am a huge proponent of treating nature and all things living in it with the utmost respect, and I believe that the destruction caused by human life and urban development needs to be rectified. Where was once their home, now lays a road with dangerous vehicles passing by every day. So, who is looking out for the creatures in which it affects? As a result of this, while I do think working with wildlife anywhere would be fascinating, I think it is important to focus these efforts in relatively upcoming urban areas where they may be most needed. My ideal role as a nature interpreter would be to not only care for and rehabilitate injured/displaced wildlife, but also to educate the public on this matter. 

I spent a summer a few years ago volunteering at a wildlife rehabilitation and education centre in Southwestern Ontario, and it was incredible to see. Not only did they provide medical care for the animals in need, but they were also greatly involved in their community. What I found most compelling about that organization was how large the education component was for a wide variety of audiences. With this in mind, I believe that the skills needed for this role go beyond that of mending, feeding, and releasing wildlife, and largely include effective communication and awareness for the audience. Articulating the mission of wildlife rehabilitation to both children and adults is a major factor. Children who learn to care for such causes will grow up with a respect for nature conservation, which is crucial to invoke in the coming generations. Allowing the children to see the animals in person seemed to be a very effective tool in their inclination to care and be engaged in the information provided. As a visual learner myself, I can definitely see the value in seeing something in person to truly understand, so I would make this element a priority. Through this excitement, children may ask their parents to take them to these events/education sessions and they then become aware of the cause as well. While adults also enjoy getting to see examples of the animals they are assisting, I believe that communicating the message and work of wildlife rehabilitation in their local area also aids in creating a sense of community. They are now aware of the work being done in their own backyard to save their own backyard! This creates a symbiotic relationship between the rehabilitators and the residents as they both work towards a common goal. As well, many of these rehabilitation programs rely on donations for funding. In effectively communicating with adults to create collective care for the environment, donations can be generated. So, effectively reaching younger generations is a crucial first step in developing a community that cares deeply about the cause. 

[bibliobile]

Burned by Ellen Hopkins

Hopkins, Ellen. Burned. Margaret K. McElderry Books, 2013.

Summary-

 This book follows Pattyn, a girl who is coming of age in a very strict -and very large- Mormon family. For years Pattyn is a ‘perfect’ daughter to her always pregnant mother and mostly drunk father. Her father spends his free time outside of work drinking and beating her mother; while Pattyn spends her time outside of school attending seminary, cleaning up around the house, and changing her siblings’ diapers. During her few moments of precious free time Pattyn likes to practice shooting her father’s rifle, and one day while doing so, she meets a boy named Dustyn from her school who is out riding his ATV. Her and Dustyn hit it off as he pressures her into drinking and having sex. When her father finds them, he threatens both of their lives and Dustyn leaves Pattyn in the dust. When Dustyn rejects Pattyn and gets a new girlfriend, Pattyn flies into a rage and breaking a window and his new girlfriend’s nose. She then is sent to leave with her Aunt Jeanette who is nothing like she expected. Aunt Jeanette (Aunt J) is the only woman who Pattyn has seen put her father in her place. Pattyn’s time at Aunt J’s is filled with gardening, cooking, riding horses, and a new boy, Ethan. Ethan is nothing like the boys Pattyn new before, he is kind and gentle hearted, he wants to get to know her, and he makes sure she knows he wants her for more than what’s in between her legs. Pattyn comes into her own throughout the summer as her new found self-confidence blooms and she becomes a young women she refers to as ‘new Pattyn.’ Ethan and Pattyn only get closer over the course of the summer while they work together with her aunt. Unfortunately, as the summer draws to a close, Pattyn gets word that her dad has gotten worse and has begun beating her sister. Despite confiding in Ethan, she knows she must return home. Ethan gifts her a promise ring and a gun as a reminder of his love for her, and a reminder of a way out should her dad get too violent. After returning home, inevitably her dad turns violent again, beating her multiple times. Amongst the chaos of the beatings, Pattyn realizes her period is late and she is pregnant. She calls Ethan and tells him, but is unfortunately overheard by the girls at school who begin spreading the rumor immediately. Ethan insists on coming to get her and reassures her that they are going to be alright and that he wants to marry her and love her forever. He picks her up from school to escape her parents, but unfortunately, they are seen by a boy who informs her parents immediately, who inform the police immediately as well. While being chased by the police, Ethan’s truck slides on the icy road and crashes. Pattyn wakes up and finds not only is her baby dead, but the love of her life is too. She then decides that the way-out Ethan provided her would come in handy for those who have made her life the living hell it has become. Then the book ends.

Personal Response-

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and becoming immersed into Pattyn’s life. The book is written in a poetry format, with most of its pages set up in varying stanza styles that reflect the scattered mind of a teenager in turmoil. Pattyn comes from a highly religious background that reminded me of my own upbringing, and the perspective was refreshingly, yet sadly, relatable. I also really enjoyed how Pattyn’s summer journey of finding herself, truly showed how beautiful the coming-of-age process can be if allowed to flourish and bloom. Despite the rage that filled me when I finished the book and found I was left on an insanely large cliffhanger, I found the book from beginning to end to be impactful and beautifully written. This was the first book I have ever read by Ellen Hopkins, but after enjoying this one so thoroughly, I am excited to look into reading more.

Connections-

This book has touched on some of the key elements of adolescence that I believe are intrinsic to the feminine coming-of-age experience, bordering on new adult, experience. Despite her family at home trying to pacify her into a girlhood-like submission for the rest of her life, Pattyn fights back to become the strong woman she wished she would have had in her life growing up. She sees her mother struggle with her abusive father and is determined to do anything she can to avoid the same life for herself. She takes her destiny into her own hands and decides to stand up for herself, even if it usually backfires. She asserts her independence by learning how to ride a horse, drive a car, hunt, and shoot a rifle. In doing all of these things to better herself, her self-confidence grows, and she begins to like the person she sees in the mirror more and more. This book is a good example of confidence coming from within. I think if asked about this book I would recommend it, but I am on the fence about keeping it in my classroom or teaching it due to sex being talked about very frequently and implications of school shootings towards the end of the book.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Hue and Cry XVIII

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape (series), trauma, some elements untagged.

This is dark!medieval!Bucky Barnes x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: The reader and Zemo try to figure out what’s next.

Note: I actually think we’re closer to an end then the beginning. My goal is to finish this before moving onto anything else but that might be my original stuff so I might take a little break after this series to figure that out! Your patience and following along has meant the world to me. <3

Thanks to everyone and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

MASTERLIST

In the coming days, trunks were opened and stuffed with clothes, blankets, and miscellany. The servants did much of the work as when you were asked what to bring, you chose three plain dresses for you and several more outfits for Elina. Zemo tutted and ordered his staff to fill the chests.

There was no distinct urgency however as the horses were to be re-shoed before you set off and the baron seemed content to enjoy the summer sun with your daughter. He would sit with the two of you under the tree or take her on a walk of his sprawling green or dangle some ornament before her to reach for.

Your mind didn’t retreat from the prospect of your departure. He said a fortnight at longest, you had to leave before that. You worried about Elina and how she’d miss him and how she’d fare on the road. She was a healthy child but you couldn’t help but think of all that could go wrong.

The third day after the announcement of your looming trek, you sat on the balcony as Elina chewed on berries and Zemo sat with a book. The air was thick and damp from the heat but the sun was tamped out behind the gathering clouds. He wore his shirt untied at the top so that the fur of his chest peeked out and you wore a sleeveless cotton gown in a pale blue.

“Do you intend on negotiating? Truly?” you asked as your mind wandered.

He looked over the book and reached over to scoop up a slice of strawberry from Elina’s shirt and flicked it into the saucer, “what do you mean?”

“Are you going to try to seal the alliance they want or is it all a ruse?”

“My liege has given me leave to approach their proposal however I wish. If they present some benefits for us then yes, I should like to have peace but… they’ve not offered anything before that we couldn’t find elsewhere,” he shrugged and lowered the book, “are you concerned for them? The people who let you suffer as such?”

“It is still my homeland but that is not what I’m worried for. I wonder how long your patience can wear on,” you said.

“We have spoke on this, we both know--”

“Yes, I know, but… how long should I have left with my daughter?” you hissed.

“You think I mean to take you from her? Perhaps march you to your death?” he scowled.

“I know however this turns out, my place in it is perilous,” you retorted, “do not mock my fears.”

“I do not--” he took a breath and his sneer softened. He chuckled as he leaned forward, “you are stronger than before, you know that? You snap like a lioness. I thought you underestimated me but I see you only misjudge yourself.”

“You are vague with me so how can I trust--”

“I have seen you through your recovery, through a labour, and a life beyond that,” he said, “I only ask a little more for all that I’ve done.”

You sat back and cupped your chin. You looked at Elina, dark juices smeared around her lips. She was entirely undisturbed by the bickering of adults. You reached over and took her tiny, sticky hand. 

You thought of Lord Barnes and if you should face him again. The idea made your blood run cold. Would he hate you? Would he still want you? You did not doubt he would have some cruelty left for you but as you were, scarred and hobbled, would it be different? And if he discovered your daughter, what then?

“He can never know about her,” you said softly and cautiously looked at the baron, “please, he can’t--”

“If he ever sees her, he will only know her to be mine but I have no intent upon my daughter being near that brute in her lifetime,” he growled. No little baroness but ‘my daughter’. You smiled at Elina and she squeezed your finger.

“I am grateful for all you’ve done for her. I know you didn’t have to--” your eyes strayed beyond the railing as some distant movement flurried beneath the sun. You squinted and leaned on the arm of your chair as you tried to see the specks along the horizon.

Zemo followed your gaze and stood. He went to the golden scope he kept on the balcony and put his eye to it as he adjusted the sights. He tilted it and stood stalk straight as if he’d been struck. The scope bobbled and he steadied it.

“Get her to your rooms,” he said, “lock the door and don’t make a sound.”

“What? What is it?”

“They are early,” he hit his open hand with a fist, “the letter… it could not be. The king must’ve assumed and sent the party prematurely.” He went to Elina and lifted her. He kissed her cheek and waved you up to your feet, “go on, take her. Keep her quiet as you can. I will house them on a lower floor but they cannot suspect you, understood?”

“How do you--”

“The banner, it is all I can make out,” he said as he grabbed your cane and rushed you back through his cool chambers, “you will lock the door and I will have Ulrich keep watch over the corridor.”

“You didn’t see who it was?” you asked as he opened the door and thrust you out into the hallway.

“You will know when I know,” he assured, “keep your candles unlit and draw the curtains.”

“My lord--”

“I did not plan for this,” he said as he marched you down the hall. You tried not to stumble as he still had your cane and you only had him to keep you from falling, “my lady, I do fear you will not make it to the Creek as we planned.”

He stopped at your door and you hugged Elina as you leaned against the wall. She was entirely untroubled by the sudden upheaval, ever a happy baby. “My cane,” you pointed to his hand as he gripped the silver topper, “please?”

“Oh, I-- Yes,” he handed it to you then reached to open your door, “keep that close…” he said, “just in case.”

“We’ll be as quiet as we can,” you assured him as you held Elina against your hip and limped with your can into the dim chamber.

“I will have Tess secret up some food before their arrival but you do not come out for anyone but me. I will knock,” he tapped a pattern on the door, “like so.”

“Yes, my lord,” you squeezed Elina as the nerves stormed inside of you.

He sighed and gripped the door as he leaned on it, “I only have a few hours to hide the evidence of you and all we’ve done to see you off. Even so, they will not suspect anything unless they are fed crumbs, yes?”

“I understand, my lord,” you stiffened and forced back the panic, “we will see what comes and do as we must,” you swayed Elina as she began to fuss, “for her.”

“For her,” he repeated, “now I must go.”

He closed the door and you set Elina down on the rug with the mouse Tess had sewn for her. You went to the door and twisted the latch into place. You turned back to watch your daughter as she tossed the toy and giggled. She pushed herself up to her feet, more certain everytime she stood. The time was passing much too quick.

🏰

You tried to distract yourself by playing with Elina and keeping her quiet. You worried however, the few times she made noise, that you would blow it all. When Tess brought the food, it was easier as your daughter grew hungry and restless. Once she had a proper meal in her, she was ready to lay down. She dozed beside you on the bed as you listened to the activity below.

First, you heard the horses through the window and the rattling carts and carriages. The voices were too distant to discern above a muffle and you weren’t so foolish as to peek out, even from so high up. You calmed yourself by watching Elina sleep but you knew you would not rest that night.

The sun sunk further behind the clouds and the evening approached with a dullness which forewarned of storms. You flinched at every noise, even floors below, and waited and waited and waited.

You had faith in Zemo, he was a great pretender. It was that very quality which kept you wary of him for so long. 

When Elina stirred again, you quieted her cries with your tit but she wasn’t taking to your nipple as eagerly as before. It calmed her for a while but she was soon awake again. You let her explore the chamber but not far from you and kept her away from the clacking wooden blocks gifted her by the baron.

And then the knock came as the sky blackened and grey clouds rumbled above. The rhythm drew you to the latch and Zemo slipped through the door. He was quick to lock it again as you ambled without your cane, afraid to tap the floor too hard with it. Elina greeted him with a shrill cry but it was blanketed by the bluster of the rising chaos in the heavens.

“The storm will frighten her but it should also help hide her,” Zemo said plaintively, “I hope.”

“They are here and settled?” you asked.

“Yes, so they are,” he confirmed as he picked up Elina, “They are too concerned with themselves to worry about any dead women hidden above.”

He sat in the armchair as the girl played with his beard as she liked to do. He smiled and let her, poking out his tongue until she did the same. He bounced her on his lap and she gibbered noisily.

“They are floors down, you should be safe to exist but if she cries, you will have to be quick to quiet her,” he girded.

“Anyone we know?” you asked as you sat on the foot of the bed and rubbed your hip.

He was silent and kept his attention on Elina. He raised his hand and let her bend his fingers to her will. She grabbed onto his ring and twisted it around his knuckle.

“My lord, is there--”

“Yes,” he huffed at last. He kissed the child’s forehead and set her down to crawl across the carpet, though she didn’t go far before she was distracted by her stuffed mouse.

“Who is it?” you asked as you folded your hands.

He rubbed his forehead then pushed his head back, “it isn’t him,” he assured, “if they were callous enough to send him or he was fool enough to come, well, we wouldn’t be having this placid conversation.”

“Who?” you asked again.

“His dog, Lord Rogers,” Zemo spat, “I don’t know which is worse. The man was watching Melinda as a wolf would watch a deer. I don’t even know the girl has flowered yet and he would be sniffing at her skirts. Despicable.”

“Rogers?” you breathed and your chest knotted. 

A roll of thunder boomed at that very moment and made you gasp. Elina stopped playing and her lip began to quiver. You slid off the bed to your knees and went to her and gathered her up. You cooed and hushed her and she clung to the collar of your dress. You watched her face as the fear retreated and she turned to watch the window flash. The terror turned to curiosity in an instant.

“Ha, look how brave she is,” he snickered.

You nodded, speechless still. Your nose tingled and your eyes burned. You were so overcome at the idea of that man being so close. You recalled that day in the forest, your singular mistake, then the scene in the carriage, and that on the staircase when Zemo himself had kept you from his perversions.

“My lady?” he said, “you look unsettled.”

“Take her,” you murmured then cleared your throat, “please, take Elina.”

He got up and took her from your arms. You pulled yourself up by the bedpost and leaned against it, your grip tightened around the carved wood. Your chest pattered in time with the downpour against the castle walls. You shook as you felt the scar along your face and those that led down beneath your dress. It hadn’t just been Barnes.

“Lady?” Zemo got closer as Elina babbled.

“I… can’t breathe,” you said and turned to fall back onto your rear, the mattress dipping beneath you as your fingers clung to the post, “I can’t…”

‘A bird, a bird, high above the cloud…’ he began to sing as much to Elina as you, a tune in his own tongue, ‘a wing, a wing, flaps without a sound…’ he rocked the girl but kept his eyes on you, ‘an angel, an angel, looking down on me. A blessing, a blessing, cast upon the lea…’

He reached with one hand and drew you up to your feet. He let you lean against him as he embraced you against your daughter and kept swaying in time to his voice and the sudden onslaught of the storm, ‘a lady, a lady, spinning at her wheel. A mother, a mother, her will as strong as steel…”

You clung to his sleeve and buried your face against the thin cotton. He kept singing until Elina was quiet and the rattling of your bones stilled. You were embarrassed at the sudden emotion which overcame you and the dampness on your cheeks. He carefully sat you back down and shushed.

The rain continued but the thunder passed. He moved carefully to lay Elina in her cot and stood as you hid your face behind your hand.

“I’m…” you uttered.

“No, that man. I remember that day,” he sat beside you and gripped his knees, “I know what he would’ve done and I am wise enough to know it was not the first he’d touched you.”

“It was long ago,” you said, “I shouldn’t be so… frail.”

“You are...strong. You must stay strong for her,” he sniffed and touched your elbow, “but you feel it now.”

“Feel what?” you blinked at him.

“The longing… for vengeance?”

You stared into his dark eyes and your chest continued to twist. Your spine went rigid and your jaw clenched. “I do,” you nodded and looked over at your daughter, “I feel it so very deeply.”

[bewitching-elizabeth-olsen]

Press: Elizabeth Olsen and Jurnee Smollett Compare Notes on Genre-Blending Acting and Advocating for Performers on Set

VARIETY: Neither Elizabeth Olsen nor Jurnee Smollett are strangers to having to really stretch their imaginations to dive into complex characters and even more complicated worlds.

Both have superhero films on their résumés: Smollett portrayed Black Canary in DC’s “Birds of Prey,” while Olsen stepped into Wanda Maximoff aka the Scarlet Witch’s shoes for Marvel’s “Avengers” franchise and then some — including Disney Plus’ first Marvel series, “WandaVision.” They are both now Emmy-nominated for projects that tasked them with jumping through time, blending genres and telling epic love stories (Olsen with “WandaVision,” Smollett with HBO’s “Lovecraft Country”). And, even though they are up in different categories (Olsen in lead limited series/TV movie actress; Smollett in lead drama actress), both of these shows are one-season wonders, leaving the performers and their audiences wanting more.

Olsen and Smollett dissected all that of when Variety brought them together post-nominations to talk about their celebrated roles and surreal playgrounds.

You both had a lot of magical or otherwise surreal elements to interact with on your shows. What did you actually have in front of you to react to on set?

Jurnee Smollett: We were very fortunate on “Lovecraft Country” because the whole VFX team worked so hard to create an atmosphere that was also practical in our space. I remember on Episode 3, the exorcism scene, we shot it over a course of three days and, while there was not a man in real life with a baby head on him, you’ve got the wind machines and the pictures are blowing and all the special effects makeup is being touched up. Atticus [Jonathan Majors] has pretty much turned into a rabid dog and I’m doing this spell with my ancestors and whether they were shooting behind us or shooting the elements, we were at our max capacity regardless because that’s just how we approach the craft. It was such a big sequence to shoot that that’s when the actor in you has to advocate for your instrument. I did go to the director and say, “Can you jump in and cross shoot Jonathan and I?” As an actor it is our job to shoot however many takes, however many angles you need, but then it is also our job to advocate for yourselves. And I love playing in this space because you get to use your imagination you get to go to crazy places. Because even while the practical elements are there; you get to go to crazy places. But I was grateful for the practical elements because it’s just so much easier.

Elizabeth Olsen: Did they have pre-viz so you knew what some of the supernatural elements looked like?

Smollett: With the Shoggoths they not only had a pre-viz for us, but for some of the scenes they had massive sculptures, like a dude standing there in a green suit with a Shoggoth head. The pilot we didn’t have this puppet, but by Episode 8, maybe we got more of a budget or something, but eventually we did get a puppet — which was really cool because you could see, “This is the moment his mouth is opening.” But also, Misha [Green], our showrunner, she just wants more blood, more dirt. She’d try to get them to blow spittle at us.

Olsen: That’s so gross!

Smollett: This concoction of Shoggoth spit, throwing it in front of this wind machine. I find the more practical stuff we have to work with, it just helps so much. And then there were the moments where it’s like, “No it’s just a green tennis ball and an X, and go.” How about you?

Olsen: For all those little things in the air and stuff in the ’50s, it was really important to our director [Matt Shakman] that we did everything ala “Bewitched.” It was all camera tricks, it was all wires. Our head of special effects had a lineage of a father who [did] special effects before him, and so puppetry and wire work and stuff like that were things that were already in his vocabulary, but we would have our special effect guys who are used to blowing things up and putting things on fire just balancing and making sure things aren’t swinging but they have to move. Even in the ’70s when she’s pregnant and everything’s in chaos, we really had a picture on the wall going in circles; they just figured out things with magnets.

When we were filming the finale, it was during COVID, during the fires last summer, and we shot Kathryn [Hahn’s] side at the beginning of the episode when she has my boys with her magic — we had to shoot them out because you always have to shoot the side with the kid out and also Kathryn was doing wires for the first time and of course it was with a corset and it was really hot and really bad air quality and so she had to be sent home by the medic at the end of the day. And so, on my side we were running out of days, and I think we had 35 minutes to shoot my side and my reactions to all of that, and there’s quite a bit of back and forth and throwing myself to the ground and hitting a different mark that will then stitch with the stunt double being pulled. I did a weird one-woman show sans kids, sans Kathryn. Our stand-ins were such a huge part of our show and I was so grateful to have them they’re reading lines with me, and our director, Matt Shakman, was like, “If you feel like you can’t do this, we’ll just do this tomorrow.” That gave an adrenaline rush to me and it just became, “I’m just going to do it.” There’s a lot of fear when you’re like, “Oh I don’t have the elements and I am on my own, literally.” But I’ve had to do this before and I’m just scared to do it because I feel stupid. But I already look kind of stupid — I’m shooting things out of my hands — so why don’t I just lean into it as full as possible and just do it and find it in some core, guttural space of desperation? That day was bizarre, but I was actually very happy that I didn’t put it off. I feel like sometimes as actors when there are things that make us nervous it’s like, “Oh we don’t have enough time to explore so let’s do it the next day if we can,” and then you’re in your head all night about it. And so, it’s nice to just do it, even if it feels silly.

Smollett: I’d imagine surrendering and using the fear and all that that you were feeling probably served you so well in it.

Olsen: And don’t you feel that, though? When you feel unsupported you just want to break down in tears and you’re not supposed to break down in tears or you’re not supposed to have those it’s those feelings in the moment, but there are other times where it is really useful and there’s something freeing about channeling it in some way.

Smollett: Yeah and it’s that word you just used: freeing. Being able to surrender — leap and the net will appear. And you’re right, if you would have gone home, you probably would have come back the next day and you would have overthought it. There’s something about using the adrenaline in that moment that I don’t think you can really teach an actor to do; it’s just experience. Because we go and we prep and we do all these things, and then you get to the set and there’s one distraction, two distractions, and those are the elements that just through experience you’ve learned to use.

But I have to say, when I was little, I used to go to sleep every night watching Nick at Nite and “Bewitched” was one of my favorite shows. I did not expect you guys, at all, to go to land of “Bewitched.”

Olsen: I didn’t either. I’m so grateful to it. I felt like I like forgot my body as an actor. You’re a very physical actor, so I feel like you probably don’t have that experience because you just seem so connected and free whether it’s on stage or doing action. And I really felt disconnected from my body until “WandaVision.” I was like, “Right, I have posture; I can walk; I have legs — all of these things are going to be telling the story and it’s period and so I get to move differently.” It’s been a while since I needed to create quite a different character, and it felt so good to wake up my body to the full character work.

Just watching you in the first episode on stage, I was like, “God damn, I want to feel that free on stage with a song and with an audience.” I’m a self-conscious actor when it comes to extras and things like that. There’s something about it where the crew’s the family, and with extras, I feel so vulnerable. And you seemed so at ease and in control and confident. It made you understand her fierceness and how fearless she was.

Smollett: Thank you so much! It’s so interesting that you point that out because, for me, singing in front of people terrifies me. It truly is one of the things that terrifies me the most. The thing about Misha’s writing is, she finds a way to teach you so much about a character in such a small amount of time. And in that first sequence we learn so much about Leti, from that fearlessness you talk about, the ease that she has in herself and in her person, but then you learn so much about her hypocrisy and the contrasting ideas that are at play inside. She’s a very complex one. In the scene with her sister where she’s talking about having dreams of pioneering into an all-white neighborhood in 1955, but she can’t afford to may for socks. [Laughs.] She didn’t come to her mother’s funeral, and yet she’s here yearning for some sort of family connection. And so, I just remember reading that and feeling so drawn to her and feeling like it’s a side of myself that I needed to unearth — there’s a Leti in me that I desired to actually be, but sometimes am not. And it’s interesting because through Leti, she really forced me to do so many things that I hadn’t done before and really become more fearless, become more unbound. It was just such a very cathartic experience for me.

Olsen: I felt that way with getting to do this sitcom comedy part. I felt like I was touching my childhood version of myself who was a ham doing children’s musical theater, who just who just like played for the laughs or whatever — that part that I don’t access at all, really, when filming. And Kathryn Hahn was such a force and Paul Bettany raised to the challenge, as well, of these comedic performances that were really physically funny. I started to get more comfortable — in the ’60s, ’70s, really got comfortable — and it was so much fun to touch that child that maybe was told too many times, “Oh, you’re such a ham” or you just felt like your big personality as a kid was not OK or wasn’t as appropriate. And so, getting to play with that was really freeing and very fun. As you were saying, there’s a release I needed to have, and through the comedy I was able to have it.

How did this sense of empowerment affect how you carried your own characters’ power? Was there something your character that inspired you to advocate for yourself or did advocating behind-the-scenes inform in-world behavior?

Olsen: I felt very lucky coming into this, because this is a world I know. And so, where my voice of advocacy came in was for actors who are coming into the world — like Teyonah [Parris], wanting to make sure that she had everything that she needed to understand where her character was going because this was a character that’s going to continue [and] if she had everything she needed for stunts. And then similarly with Kathryn, she didn’t realize there was someone who she could use to teach her hand gestures for her magic. And so, she was feeling nervous and lost, like, “How do I do this thing?” And I was like, “Oh, how do you not have that information!?” And then having a conversation with whom you need to on the crew up top and figure out how to keep everyone else feeling like they had everything they needed. And luckily, because this was a show with characters that Paul and I had before, the pieces came together and it was a situation where your voice is welcomed and heard.

From “Sorry For Your Loss,” the TV show I did with Facebook, I now have a producer voice that I can’t shut up. I now just need to talk to ADs a lot, and I need to talk to line producers a lot. I realize that I like having — especially if I’m No. 1 on the call sheet; if I’m a primary part — all of the information so I can understand why decisions that seem weird are happening, or else I’m going to get in my head about, “Why are we doing this this way? I just let people know that off the bat now because it makes me less of a control freak, having information. And it is a team effort and I think the actor’s value has changed in that in that respect. There’s a lot more opportunity for women to be vocal now, and so I’m just really seizing that opportunity.

Smollett: It was a very personal growing experience for me. It was time of transition [and] I’m still going through that transition in my life. In order to truly surrender and do the text justice, there was so much I had to bring to the altar every day to sacrifice. I remember talking to Jonathan about that, and he would refer to it as allowing your heart to break and hoping that the Holy Spirit would put it back together. She was essentially a woman trying to navigate her womanhood but she was never actually allowed to have a childhood. She was habitually abandoned by her mother and didn’t know her father and there’s something in that parental-daughter split that I found myself really relating to. Oddly enough like Leti, I was estranged from my father for years. He eventually passed away, really before there was that healing and so, oh man, it brought up so much shit with Leti. How does she see the world? She sees the world through the eyes of an abandoned child. With Leti, that made her overcompensate; with Jurnee, it made me shrink a lot. When you talk about that artist child, those of us who have been in this business for so long, you take on all the sensors. And I found myself just trying to love her a little more. One of the things I admired so much about Leti is this desire to love herself — this real desire to own herself unapologetically in a world that told her she was too Black and female, to exist in her entirety. It’s still a transition that I’m in, but I definitely feel so grateful to have been able to walk through some of that and navigate through some of that with Leti. But that’s, I think, the blessing and the curse of being an artist. You’ve got to be willing to bring your whole mind, body and spirit to it; nothing’s off limits.

Jurnee, the last time you spoke with Variety we were all assuming you’d get to return to this character, but now that HBO has said it’s not being renewed, do you have unfinished business with her?

Smollett: It’s no secret I’m heartbroken. I loved Leti and of course would have loved to continue playing her. But I am so incredibly proud of the work that we all created together — it feels so special and unique — and I am finding peace in that. We’re artists and there’s an endless well that dwells inside us— and there’s so much that’s out of our control. And I think I’ve done this long enough and I’ve experienced enough heartbreaks to know you don’t get attached to the results too much; you just try to stay in a moment. And I feel just so proud and blessed to have been chosen to go on this ride with these collaborators, so I am more so in the place of gratitude than loss.

On the other end of the spectrum, “WandaVision” was a limited series but Wanda Maximoff is a character you have been coming back to for years, Elizabeth. How do you approach that longevity — the changes in her, the changes in you and the interest in revisiting her at all?

Olsen: I’m 32 and I was 25 — so seven years ago — when I did the first one. There’s so much change that I’ve had, even as an actor and how I approach work and, I think, honor work so much more in the last five years, four years of my life. [Jurnee’s film] “Birds of Prey” feels like such a female-empowered thing, so I feel there’s a really incredible energy to beginning it, but then with me you hear people make comments about Marvel movies and it affects your own process. “WandaVision” really shook that up for me and made me reinvest.

Smollett: I so want to know your process with that because the comic book space was new for me. I’d been a fan; I’d seen all your movies and the other movies. How did you navigate all of those voices? Because they can be very loud.

Olsen: Luckily and also frustratingly my character was always this emotional anchor to a piece of the story. It was like the heart, if there’s a heart. Paul and I were the only romance that was really fleshed out in those movies. And so I just treated it like I would anything. And then, we have a really fun time filming “Avengers” And so it’s really goofy and the Russos are great. And so we, it feels light-hearted, and it feels like we have the last laugh at the end of the day. But when it comes to the reinvesting, that’s the whole mind game, right? Because you just hope that it continues to have this quality control, but the more the more things get made, you’re worried about that. Especially because I did a show on Facebook that was scripted, and I didn’t love the way they handled it. And it was hard. And so second season, we went back and we literally, as a team of producers, had meetings with people who ran Facebook Watch about where we thought they could improve. We had a whole presentation for them. And then eventually, they were like, “We’re not doing scripted anymore.” And so I didn’t have the greatest experience being a part of the launch of another streaming service. And so, the Disney Plus part made me nervous and then bringing these characters that are so big to television made me nervous. But Kevin Fiege explained to us that that they were not going to cut corners, and they’re going to try and create the same attention to detail, and they did. And I think it was really important for them to have that care for these first three shows that they were putting out because it was defining a new thing for them. And so, we were taken care of.

I think more for me with this with the reinvestment moving forward, I never had a six-movie or nine-movie thing; it was always two or three at a time — those were my contracts. And so, it’s always a really conscious decision. I wrapped “WandaVision” on a Wednesday and flew to London on a Friday to continue playing this part [in “Doctor Strange 2”]. I could have used getting out of the mindset, though, because they were totally different utilizations of the character and people would have had more time to understand “WandaVision” had we not just wrapped. And so there’s just a lot of, “We covered this in ‘WandaVision…’” It’s bigger than me, there’s lots of threads that are continuing on after me that I’m not aware of, and so it’s always about, “What can I get from this journey with this character that maybe I haven’t tapped into yet with her?” That’s where I keep approaching things from, so that I feel like I have some sort of strap-hang — that I can know that there’s going to be growth of some kind, even though it all maybe looks the same to other people. There is that conscious decision to learn a new element of this woman, or even of myself as an actor — something that I want to explore that I can bring to it.

Your passion for acting is apparent and you both produce as well. What about directing?

Smollett: I would love to one day. I find myself currently being incredibly excited about producing and ushering new voices and excited voices. I don’t know that I would want to direct myself — that’s a whole other skill. I remember watching Denzel Washington, who directed me in “Great Debaters” but he was also in it, and at that point he had such a command of his instrument that he was able to do that. But it’s a lot. And I remember him telling me, before directing himself, he went and made himself watch all his films just so that he could stomach this idea of watching himself in the editing room. And so, I love the idea of storytelling; I’m obsessed with just telling stories, but I don’t know that I would self-direct.

Olsen: I find myself still loving producing so much because I love asking questions and poking holes and thinking about reorganizing of storylines, things that I feel maybe need more structure. I loved writing essays in school so much; it was like something that I found creative because it was about putting so many different sources into a braid that could maybe create this larger conversation or thought at the end. And so, that’s how I look at scripts. That’s really satisfying enough for me, to play that role. I think one day I’ll think about it more honestly, what it what it would mean to be a director. I fear that if I were to do it anytime soon, I wouldn’t have the tools that I would want. I do ask lots of lens-y questions because I’ve really only been working for 11 years and only recently have I tried to really understand the art of what lenses to choose and why and what it makes an audience feel based on what you’re choosing. I want to have a better, more holistic understanding of [that] before attempting [directing] because I do think it’s such an art and just because I understand the structuring of a story or how a set works, I want to be able to provide the the image in my head. I don’t know if I have that skill yet, but I am curious about feeding it and nurturing that.

Press: Elizabeth Olsen and Jurnee Smollett Compare Notes on Genre-Blending Acting and Advocating for Performers on Set was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen

[seraphic-diaries]

12.3.21

Also! Today majority of the stuff I ordered came and I am so happy and excited (Outfit on right is part of it) !! I’m a Taurus baby and although I don’t believe in signs and stuff but I am truly at home in my element in the summer which for me begins in may. I can’t explain the way summer makes me feel alive!

That’s it. That’s the post. I just wanted to share some excitement! Eeek

[wingingitonwheels]

And relaaaaaxxx

It’s just over two weeks since I packed up my job and jumped on a plane, all on the same day. And true to my form at least, my normal formula for relaxation has once again worked out. This calculation is that it takes one week to realise you’re on holiday, another to enjoy it, and another to forget your password to log on to your computer. This works if you truly turn off your work phone and be totally unavailable, and if you’re lucky enough (and have a job) that your employer allows you to do this.

Having read quite a number of books and followed as many adventurers doing their thing, I feel quite fortunate that whilst this isn’t inexpensive, and being mostly my own “fixer” is at times challenging, I’m really happy that I don’t have the burden of being sponsored, or being employed (effectively the same thing) like, for example, Mark Beaumont or Ben Fogle, and having to perform in some way. I’d love to do this for a living in some respects, but if some element of this trip depended on marketing a brand, or having to post to social media as part of a contract, I’d feel I’d have lost some degree of freedom. I’m lucky enough to have been born at a time where social media came in late enough that I have half a lifetime without it. It’s a blessing and a curse…as is technology. I haven’t felt alone so far, and can dip in and out as I choose. I’m not cool enough for Insta or Twitter and the thousands of other social apps that I couldn’t even name. This feels like my kind of liberty in a modern world. I think the balance is right.

Cycling the Argentinian Andean Lake District - February 6-9 Esquel-El Bolson-San Carlos De Bariloche-Lago Correntosa

“Smoked” would closely have described me when I arrived in San Carlos De Bariloche. It wasn’t so much the distance, but the heat compounding my first really hilly day since…Portugal in October, when I was carrying half the baggage weight and was much fitter. And as beautiful as the route was, I suffered. My hands, feet and head. The road was the busiest I’d experienced since leaving Buenos Aires, but then it wasn’t surprising as this is the Jewel of the Southern Andes and apparently everyone including me wants to be here in the Argentinian summer holidays. Who’d have known? I am a total hypocrite at times. I love the beauty of nature and I believe I have a close relationships with the mountains, and that everyone else should not be there whilst I’m riding my bike.

Since arriving in Esquel what seems like an eternity ago but is only four days, there has been nothing but magnificent vista after another, too gigantic for any phone to capture. The towns other than Esquel have largely been conveniences rather than somewhere I’ve wanted to explore: bustling and thriving, vibrant and noisy, both El Bolson and San Carlos de Bariloche have left me wanting to depart as early as sleep and faffing would allow the next morning. They’re also extortionate compared to my £12.43 for dinner, bed and breakfast in the desert. In San Carlos De Bariloche, I found a hostel for £33 plus tax in a shared dorm. After a beer and finding my way there, there was nowhere to securely store my bike, so the hunt led me to Selina’s, whose photo showed a single room in a loft. Perfect. Only when reception described my “bed in a large dorm”, it shocked me that this would cost me £55! It’s only redemption was that the facilities had my headache not stopped me from appreciating anything but my bed, were outstanding for a hostel; two swimming pools, a gym and studio and a much better than average for a hostel breakfast. But a little bit broken, I took to my bed at 8pm, and slept like a baby who’d overdosed on Calpol, almost unaware of the young things returning late into the night and turning on the lights and probably making a racket. In fact, it was my best night’s sleep in eternity. There’s no question, I’d suffered from heat exhaustion, and acoustic band or not, bed was the only place to be. And at 7am exactly, a very timely taxi tooted his horn for the one guest departing, and woke the whole hostel…

A big breakfast and 120 kilometres later, and I have had the most enjoyable day on my bike since landing. As far as cycling goes, other than carrying 15% extra dead weight, days just don’t get better. After the extortion town that is Villa Los Angostura and a spot of lunch, I hedged my bets and hit the road, potentially riding on to make a massive day by reaching San Martín de los Andes, 36 miles from where I am now, or winging it and hoping if the scenery continued and an opportunity arose, I might just stop at a random Lakeside Hostería. So, here I am…writing on the sand at the lakeside that is Lago Correntosa. I didn’t have enough cash but Marina, the lovely owner who will give me dinner, bed and breakfast, and trust me to transfer money to her account in the next town, put me up in a beautiful lakeside lodge, where Argentinian waterfowl eye you intensely, the shower is cold, and “busy-ness” seems a long way and time away. Here, the weight evaporates from your shoulders and you can have a poo with a view…😁. In summary, this hidden gem of a lakeside lodge and its surroundings are the most peaceful place I can remember, and an ornithologist’s dream.

I’m hoping that the next few days continue as they evolved after Villa Los Angostura: it��s rolling and tough, but immaculate roads and finally a hard shoulder you can ride. The traffic seems to have decreased and I’m riding through 7 Lagos region. Whereas to Bariloche, I heard what sounded to me like birds of paradise and billions of seed pods bursting in the heat, from Bariloche to this point, it’s been cooler, more birds and peace. By my original plans, I should have turned left to Chile yesterday, so the road ahead is in my terms, uncharted territory. About 20 Argentine lawyers rolled into camp last night, with tents but supported by a vehicle. They’d been doing annual 10 day trips on bikes for 27 years, and even this experienced group of lowyers, who regularly included Chile on their itinerary, couldn’t get across the border.

I’m hoping to stay close to the mountains, but that will depend on the road surfaces…most other than Ruta 40 are unpaved, and even this main route of Argentina is unreliably surfaced. So let’s see!

[lucky-bucky-boy]

Cruel Summer Pt. III

Summary: Based loosely off of Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift. Things seem to be on a roller coaster, highs and lows and jumping emotions. A discussion about one of the pivotal points of their relationships that could either be the start of a new beginning or the awakening of a terrible ending.

Word Count: 1818

Warnings: Angst, fluff, manipulative-ish speech, very slight age gap, implied smut, almost ddlg elements but not quite (Please let me know if I missed anything, I will be happy to add on)

A/N: Tags are at the bottom. I am so sorry this took literally a lifetime to write and get out but its FINALLY HERE. Will be added to AO3 at some point. NO spoilers, takes place before the events of Knives out. Read Part One Here // Read Part Two Here

I do not own these characters. Do NOT repost my writing and/or fics anywhere without my written permission. Reblogs, likes, comments, and constructive criticism welcomed and highly appreciated.

Hummingbirds sang their beautiful song, fluttering through the evening sun. Wind bristling through the trees, the faint sound of wind chimes and a bird splashing in the bird bath. The outside air; light and warm, a breath of life and happiness. Almost taunting with how it didn't change from how it was left. 

It was a stark contrast to the nearly tangible heaviness that cast itself inside, sitting thick and awkward. The sound of a metal spoon clinking against glass nearly drowning out the sound of the help Ransom paid to stay and make dinner. The warmth of the cup of tea keeping thoughts from straying too far as tension begin to settle. 

Uncomfortable shifting in the dining chair, occasional, timid glances to the man next to you. Never had you ever seen him look so raw. His hair pushed back from running his hands through it so many times, instead of from the numerous products you knew he had stocked in his closet. The sweater he wore, albeit already worn, was so stretched out from him pulling on the cuffs that it naturally just rested against his palm. One hand fiddled with the fabric as he bit at his nails on the other. 

The last time he even looked remotely this nervous was after a few drinks when he showed you some writing he had done, something he hid but was proud of. And that was easily more than a year ago. But now, now was different. This almost looked like regret. 

After a quick sip of the warm liquid to calm your nerves, you cleared your throat, looking over at him. Ransom's gaze quickly snapped to focus in on you, waiting for you to speak.

"You asked me to stay, so what is it you could possibly want to talk about now?" You hadn't meant to sound so rude, but the exhaustion and irritability of the situation had settled heavily. You'd give anything to just have this over with, to be able to be alone and process everything. 

Ransom opened his mouth to speak, but closed it before letting out a sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. "I just don't understand how we're somehow on the same page and not at the same damn time. Frankly, I don't understand how we were both there and you somehow… came out feeling like, like that about it, about me."

A scoff escaped from you, shaking your head and looking at him with utter bewilderment written on your face. "Ransom, you truly don't see how I could have fallen in love with you?" His only response was a look that was somewhere between confusion and certainty, as if he was confused as to how love was even an option. 

"Okay then," you took another sip of your tea before staring back at him, determined at this point to at least make him see it your way, if not to even hurt him a little. "Tell me, how do you remember our trip to Paris?"

He huffed out a chuckle that was void of amusement, eyebrows scrunched as he shrugged, "I don't know, it was about a month after I started fucking your brains out. Woke up one morning and told you to pack a bag, which you did because at that point you did whatever I said, and we flew to Paris in my private jet. We spent a week there, having sex and eating at fancy restaurants. I bought you a bunch of clothes and jewelry. Then we came home."

Your eyes had fallen shut, shaking your head and clicking your tongue as you opened them. He looked smug, but his attitude quickly changed when he saw the anger and disbelief pouring itself out of you. "That's truly how you remember that trip?"

He shrugged, "Yeah," his voice faltered softly as he continued, "How do you remember it?"

Some part of you begged not to open that door, not to go diving in to memories that would no doubt leave you even more hurt than before. 

Delicate touches and even softer sheets, a soft breeze rustling the sheer curtains that led to the balcony overlooking the city, intricate smells - a warming mixture of coffee, baked bread, and a touch of nicotine.

Everything about it screamed Paris, the city of romance, the city of love and adventure. The city that undoubtedly shifted the emotions that flowed. 

"I know you're awake, baby girl," your eyes hadn't even opened yet, a smile creeping on your lips as your skin warmed at the sound of the pet name. 

There was that low chuckle, the one the vibrated the chest your head rested on, that made you melt and float at the same time. The delicate touches, the soft swirls he drew on your back turned to a firm squeeze on your hip. "Get your sweet ass up, I'm taking you out." 

Ransom slid out from underneath you, soft whines leaving you in protest as you finally opened your eyes to look at him. You were met with his bare backside as he made his way to the bathroom. "I'm too sore to move," you called out with a pout. 

He stopped at the door way, looking over his shoulder at you, eyes dark and a shit eating grin on his face. "Well, I suggest if you want me to kiss it better, you better get your ass in the damn shower."

-

"Where are you taking me?" The words came out as a giggle as you clung onto Ransom's arm, blindfolded and letting him lead you to God only knows as. The ground beneath gradually became flat and smooth, unlike the walkways of the streets. 

"You're not selling me off, are you?" You teased.

Ransom chuckled and you could feel his body move as he shook his head. "No, sweetheart. You're worth much more than everything you're about to see. It'd be hard finding someone willing to pay that much."

He stopped moving, reaching up to slowly pull the blindfold off. "You used to talk about visiting art museums all across the world when we were little, so I figured this'd be a nice little treat."

You squealed softly and you took in your surroundings. You were standing in the middle of the Tuileries garden at the Louvre, beautiful sculptures and flora overwhelming your senses. "God! You really do spoil me," you look at him with a bright smile. "Come on, I'm dragging you through as much as possible before you decide it's time to leave."

He smirked and shook his head, "Well, we have reservations at 6 for a restaurant not too far from here. But other than that, the day is yours, princess."

"You're letting me decide what we do for a whole day?" You raised your eyebrows at him. 

"What can I say? I'm full of surprises," that cocky tone was something you were coming to love more than tolerate, "Lead the way."

-

It was no wonder Ransom made you wear a nicer dress that day, insisting on you putting a little more effort into your appearance than usual. He never asked for anything like that. You found it odd earlier that morning as you smeared his favorite red lipstick across your lips, but as you stood outside the restaurant where meals cost easily as much as your phone bill, you understood. 

A balcony seat with a view overlooking the city. The sun was just starting to set, spreading hues of pink, purple, and gold in the sky as the lights from the Eiffel Tower could be seen glowing in the distance. People were still bustling in the streets, couples hand in hand, kids running and laughing, the occasional Parisian leaning against the stone building with a cigarette. It hit you then that there was no one else you'd want to be in Paris with. 

Already, Ransom had pulled your seat out for you and pushed you in, ordered your drinks and food for you, and as you looked back at him you caught him staring. For just a split second there was something more to the look on his face, a glisten in his eyes you'd never seen before. But, just as soon as you saw it, it was gone. A smirk spread across his lips, his eyes set back to their normal hue and you wanted nothing more than to smack it off his face. 

Not because he was being an asshole or because he was right about something (and knew damn well you were wrong), but because you knew this time that smirk was hiding something. But the time to pester and whine was neither here nor there when you were surrounded by riches, lavished in the luxury that was Paris, the upscale restaurant, and the company of Ransom. 

-

The cool metal of the railing nipped through the material of your shirt as you overlooked the now dark city from the comfort of your hotel room. A few glasses of wine you normally wouldn't drink, a shared cigarette you didn't quite like but did anyway because "it's a part of the experience"; and quite honestly, Ransom could get you to try anything at least once. 

The padding of his bare feet across the floor and onto the patio pulled you out of the replay the was looping in your head. The soft smiles, the feeling of his hand in your, the laughter and warmth that filled your chest all day quickly being pushed to the side as he reached his arms around you, quicker than you could turn around. 

Ransom clasped a necklace around your neck and when you looked down to examine it your heart swelled. A dainty, chain with a nice size diamond laid against your skin. If you didn't know any better your say it resembled a heart but… maybe that was just wishful thanking. 

"Ransom, you didn't have to ge-"

"I wanted to," he quickly cut you off, "And be a good girl for me and don't ever take it off." He looked at you expectantly as you looked back at him, eyes glossy and a slight pout to your lip as emotions overwhelmed you. "Promise?"

"Promise."

Reaching into your bag you pulled something out. Without even looking at it you tossed it at him, annoyance and hurt written on your face as you both watched the diamond necklace skitter toward him and stop by his hand that rested on on the table. 

You watched as Ransom picked it up, swallowing hard and jaw setting as he examined the piece of jewelry. A sigh and shake of his head as he eyes fell to the little "H" he had engraved on the backside of it. 

You smirked, huffing and biting the inner corner of your cheek before speaking, "Go ahead and tell me again how this was just an arrangement."

Taglis (cross through means you were unable to be tgged)   @sweetlittlegingy @star-spangled-steve @jessiejunebug @fresa-luna @thegirlwithpaperheart @jesaigne @introvertedmouse @sinner-as-saint @sp2900 @qrndevans @dammitcaswhy @livsheph @darcia22 @paranjaperiyauniverse @dramaticsassmaster @rose-k @lovemesomeavengers @steeeeverogers @hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall @bemysugarbean @dreamlesswonder86 @ambrosixx @heyiamthatbitch @daazzeey, @fresa-luna @bitchcraftandwitchery @thatoneslytherinbeater @breezyfreezey @quesadellacatburglar @renxzs @imsonick @sambucky8 @honeybabybubba @lover1307 @marvelismysafezone @bxby-kittxn @nibbles7192 @21stcenturywitchcraft @ssworldofsw @im-married-to-chris-evans

[birth-fic-lover]

I’ll birth your baby part 1

As everyone in Fiona’s office packed up for the day one of her work friends asked “any plans for the weekend?”

“The usual” Fiona said, knowing that no one knew what her usual activity was. “Yourself?” 

“My husband is taking me to his mothers, gonna try and convince her to give up her snake collection.”

“Good luck” Fiona said picking up her bag. She headed out the door and back to her home, she checked her phone, her client had requested an 6pm appointment.

As she parked her car she spotted her client, not because they had met before but because she was almost 9 months pregnant. She was stood with her husband, “he must be in on this too” she said to herself as she turned off her engine.

She got out and held out her hand “You must be Amanda”.

“Yes, thank you for fitting us in a bit earlier. Me and the hubby wanted to have one last weekend away” Amanda said.

“Of course, you might as well take the chance while you can” Fiona said taking them into her home. “I am glad you found my house alright”.

“Yes, it is a bit out of the way” the husband commented.

“As you can imagine, with doing things like this neighbors would just complicate things” Fiona explained leading them to the examination room. “So as I expained on the phone, I will do one final examination. For your piece of mind and mine, besides my legal team insists. Of course you will get a full birthing report within the week, if I have time before you arrive on sunday I will try and do it then. I know that some like to use an element of truth when recounting their birth story”

“Yes we read over the contract, in the case that our child could develop any disabilities relating to the birth we would contact you directly?” the husband asked.

“No it would be my legal team who would of course inform me, your baby is extreamly healthy and I see no problems from your file.” Fiona helped Amanda onto the examination table, “you are aware of the multibles clause? If you are found to of been carrying twins or more I do have a hefty fee, it’s just to stop any couples trying to get a cheeper price. Besides the suprise on my end isn’t very nice or safe for the babies”.

“Yes we are certain that it is one” Amanda said.

Fiona used the doppler to examine the baby, “yes everything is in order to proceed. Because your child’s father is fully aware of your actions we have a little bit less paperwork”.

“Does that happen often?” Amanda asked.

“Most women decide they would rather tell there loved ones that they braved it alone, including there husband. Or sometimes it’s the cause the father isn’t in the picture, I even work with those who it would be tramatic for them to give birth.”

Amanda nodded, “so how does it work? Is there a device you use to transfer the baby into you?”

Fiona smiled “I have always had the ability to transfur unborn children into me”.

“Oh right” the husband said not fully understanding.

After the couple filled out all the paperwork on the office, they expected to retuen to examination room. But Fiona said “no need I can do it in here, Stan you may want to hold your wife’s hand”.

“Will it hurt?” Amanda asked.

“It will just feel a bit strange” Fiona promised, she took her chair and faced Amanda. She had remebered to put on one of her more looser work dresses so there was no need to change. She put her hands on Amanda’s covered belly and focused.

Amanda felt no pain but she felt like someone had pulled a plug out and all her amniotic fluid was swerling around her womb as it drained out of her. Her belly softened and Fiona’s began to bloat. After a minute she felt her childs placenta ditached from within her, it suddenly disappeared and Fiona suddenly had a full term bump. Fiona’s hands were still on her now flattened belly as she felt the last drops of fluid leave her. Fiona then removed her belly, and smiled at the amazed couple.

“One last set of papers to sign to confirm the transfer” Fiona said, she rubbed her belly while watching them sign. Amanda then put her hand out and Fiona leaned her belly towards it, Amanda smiled as she felt the kick. 

Fiona wished the couple a happy trip and promised to call once the delivery was complate.

As Fiona climbed the stairs she realised she had forgotten to set up her birthing room. She sighed, being full term would not make the job easy. The baby was already between her hips. She slowly got to work getting all the fresh medical equipment out of it’s packaging, she then went to put the plastic cover on the bed when she realised that it was downstairs. She walked down one hand on the handrails the other supporting her belly, she went to get the plasic cover and found climbing the stairs slow and difficult now she didn’t have the free hand to support her. 

She could feel a back pain starting as she finally reached the room again, she tried to move her back around but it kept it’s strenth. Fiona knew it wasn’t truly a contraction, but that labor was starting in one form or another.

In some ways she was relived, when she had not enough progress and there was less then 24 hours till pick up she would have to resort in breaking her waters or using a drug to start contractions. She wondered if the baby could tell it was in a diffrent womb, she felt some hard kicks during the rest of the evening as she ate some dinner. Just something light to chase away hunger.

As she was wondering if she should sleep in the birthing room that night or not she felt her first proper contraction, she could feel her muscles warming up. But they were not too bad, they never were at this stange. The pains were more annoying than painful, as she was answering emails for future clients. She worked secretly with some charitites that would pay for women with disabilites to use her service. She would always charge the charities a fraction of her usual rate, happy to help those who wouldn’t be able to do the delivery.

As the evening got later she wasn’t able to concentrate on anything but her breathing. When Fiona was in pain, she had a bad habit of holding her breath. She decided to go upstairs while they were still 5 minutes apart, she did not want to be stuck downstairs.

Another benifit of living without neighbors was that in the summer she could labor outside, the cool air would feel good against her sweaty belly. She wished that she could do that tonight, there was something sexual about feeling like an animal grunting and groaning thought her pain surrounded by trees. But her clients had spacifically asked to have the birth documented in detail, she didn’t think they would apprecaite her choosing an outside birth.

As she started to climb she had to stop, “come on baby, we gotta get through this together”. She tried to wait out the contraction still standing, as soon as it was over she continued to climb. She made her camp in the birthing room, she hoped this wouldn’t take all weekend. “It’s lucky your mum and dad gave me over when you did” she said to the bump, this baby was ready. 

Over the next few hours all Fiona could do was contend with the contractions as they built up. Fiona leaned against the wall timing her contractions a bit closer now, the pain ramped up quickly on some contractions and wretchedly slowly on others. When she felt peak of the contraction, she would let out long moans as her muscles held her womb tight. Sometimes just as she was feeling some relief, it would tighten up again catching her by surprise.

By the early morning Fiona was in almost in constant pain and the pressure inside her womb was unbearable.She was on the bed and rocked on my knees,  anything to dissipate the pressure. She knew that she would need to break her waters at this rate, she hadn’t diatated much in the past hour. The uncomfortable fullness of her womb made her belly seemed to feel fuller and bigger with each contraction. 

Fiona longed for the urge to push, she reached to the medical trolly by her bed. She grabbed the amnihook and then tensed as another contraction came, the contraction pushed the baby another few centimetres further into her birth canal. As soon as it was over she inserted the hoot and used to tear open her amniotic sac. She felt her waters leaving her body, with it her contrations go stronger. 

Time ticked by as Fiona approached the 4-hour mark since her water broke, her contractions went from 2 minutes apart to 1 minute to seconds apart while their intensity went off the scale. Fiona bore down as her hands kept her legs spread open as much as possible. She could feel her baby spread her birth canal open and slowly descend down it.

She felt the bulge and smiled in relief, it looked like it would not take long now. Each push Fiona was making progress, her belly clenching around her swollen womb as it was happening.

Her swollen belly had decreased in size as bore down again and again, until she pushed once more and her baby reached a full crown. The pain was so immense that it felt like someone had taken a blowtorch to her crouch. The head slowly inched its way out, before a pop of fluids brought the head out and hanging between her legs. She just had the shoulders to contend with now, she took deep breaths and gave a huge push feel both shoulders makin there way out. She didn’t give up, on the next contraction she did the same and the baby side out. 

Fiona’s body relaxed as she picked the crying baby up and comforted him, she cut the cord and set to work on the umbilical cord. 

A few hours later she had already contacted the parents who had decided to come back early so they could meet their son. Fiona had napped and spent the day cleaning up and writing her birth report. Stan gave her a genorous tip for deliverying there son so quickly, before Fiona could blink it was monday morning. She had magically healed by now, she greeted her work friend. “How was the mother in law?”

“Bad news she tricked us into buy her a new snake, how was your weekend?”

“Got my jobs done quicker then usual so spend sunday resting”.

[peikonlainen]

Just a quick question but what often gets you inspired?✨

Oh boy ehhhhhh - here we go to the never ending rabbit hole!!

Sometimes small things gets my attention like e.g. squirrels paws, unique red face of a person at a cold day or seeing chair upside down on icy lake (honestly I am now working on long comic about trolls inspired by that chair).

Comic art and animations inspires me greatly! Lately I have been inspired by animations gems like the thief and the cobbler, treasure island from 1988 (and other Soviet Union animations) and the king and the mocking bird. The animation process fascinates me greatly, how can one make smooth and imaginative animations is wonderful! I can't get enough of it all.

Also concept of kindness inspires me greatly. I have gone throw...lets say a lot. I love stories that show kindness where it is needed, e.g. Tove Jansson's story of invisible child. The child was bullied by their family so much that they turned completely invisible and lost their own voice, eventually they found confidence and selfworth in themselfs thanks to kindness of Moomins. I want my feelings to be seen and heard but sometimes world or people are overwhelming. Kindness is important, otherwise we will fall apart or at least I do. I am still on my way to be kind and understanding of myself and othets but those qualities are more important to me than ever.

Couple weeks ago I started to collect stuff that inspires me or I find interesting. I will list most of them below. If I am not saying anything about certain box, it means I enjoy the show/comic/meme/animal but cannot put my finger on why. Usually those make me smile and give new pespective about life. Somethings might be there twice because I am forgetful baboon!

Junji Ito's horror comics are visually out of this world! But my fav is his humorous comic about his cats. It was so different from his other comics that I fell in love with it.

Emma manga made by Kaoru Mori. Usually I can't stand romantic stories but the characters but the story and the art works perfectly together in her comics.

Comics and animations of @cecameron are gorgeus and fun!

Tove Jansson's books, comics, art and life in general.

Rainbow Road from Muppets is my favourite song and I wish it would be played at my funeral one day. Its hopeful song that fills me with joy.

Entranta from Shera. She never gives up, I wanna be like her! I wanna see failure is part of the process and helps me get further little by little + its nothign to be shamefull of.

Ponyo's fathers frustration is relatable, also the whole movie is wonderful and colorful. Its maybe my favorite ghibli movie.

Scarr my beloved weirdo! The image was in the tarot pack of the grim adventures of Billy and Mandy and he is of course the hermit (which is my personality card)

@deep-dark-fears comics surprise me by giving new ideas to express fear.

Hugo Simberg was Finnish artist at 1900's. Symbolism and sympathetic characters of devils and death has inspired me since I was 8 years old.

Treasure planet is one of my favourite disney movies. The father son relationship between Silver and Jim is great and makes me cry everytime.

Hypnopotamus and Warren Stone from ROTTMNT. Their relationship is wholesome and inspiring + the show itself is fun, full of action and passion! I love it!

Tintin comics are almost religious in my family. It was one of the first comics I saw different from different parts of the world and how tintin could become friends even the most oddest (looking at you captain Haddock) people is marvellous.

The penguin my belowed ❤❤❤

Mörkövahti is Finnish children book that accidentally inspired me greatly. The world of troll like creatures, magical elements in the story and research of the creatures made me fall in love in the world of the books. I often love to read books for kids or teens, they are more interesting and I don't have to fear to be faced with rape, sexism and other nasty stuff.

Stop motion animation and expecially Arman animations have been always part of my life. I have soft spot for the pirates movie thanks to it's humor, naivety and animation style.

Adventure time is one of my favourite series and couple of things stuck with me. Some people are build different, you don't have to understand it but you need to respect them. I love this idea greatly and I try to live by it.

Pinsir is my favourite pokemon and it says a lot.

Mr Pogo and other smart ape characters inspire me greatly. No wonder new planet of the apes trilogy is part pf my movie collection. I am not sure why I love smart apes as characters but it always works.

Wander over yander whole concept is to be kind and help people out, I love it.

Peto was made for me by @elle-eedee at lgbtq trolls discord server. Peto ended up becoming my ultimate comfort character and I love to draw him and make stories for him. I loved the way elle-eedee combined my favorite things to create him ❤ also their colorful art inspires me everyone I see it.

@alioutfit blog is blog of style choices of man named Ali. I want to find my own style like Ali.

The murder she wrote is nostalgic for me and I wanna get into that series again! The fact smart older woman is the main focus inspires me. I love Agatha Christi stories too so it checks out.

Hugs + rottmnt. I love hugs and the show has a lot of good hugs!

Don Rosa's Donald Duck comics are the best! Those who don't know, Donald Duck comics are big in Finland!

Heikko Peikko (meaning Weak Troll) was stop motion animation series in Finland at 70's. Its wonky, basic and charming story of Heikko Peikko's everyday life.

The meme that made me less depressed

@foxing_around had wonderful comic that made me think over my friends over my sad ass.

Squirrels, I like them a lot. They remind me of my grandpa who loved forest and nature.

My sandwich with a face

Monsters petting each others! My friend has a lot of arkham maddness board games that comes with monsters. I like to play with the figurines, they are so lovely monsters!

Concept art of toothless from how to train your dragon. Why toothless couldn't look like this little ugly thing??? I would have loved him from bottom of my ❤

Kingdom of lonely bananas sign was at supermarket. Little imaginative ideas like these are great.

Pasila series is good stuff, it was said to be Finnish South Park.

My photo of snail ❤

WoY faces are glorious

The snow queen movie from 1957 gives me live. Its one of my favourite Soviet Union animation movie.

My photo of my special secret place at summer

I know only these two from Transformers comics and their love is wonderful. Truly I haven't read the comics...I wish I could tho!

Sherlock Holmes books are awesome

New ducktales series had so many characters from the comics I couldn't believe it at first! Finally I had my favourite characters like Fethry on the show!

I love odd looking animals because I am one too

Animal Crossing is a game I thought I would never play. It looked like a baby game when my big bro gave the it to me at the time gamecube was new console. He bought it because it had a memory card and he know nothing about the game. I tried it and never looked back ❤

The ping pong animation is my favourite animation series from Japan. I got the manga even I can't read it since it's straight from Japan. It's more about the lifes of the characters and how they grow as people than the game itself (or at least it feels like it). The story feels real in a way, that the characters are three dimensional and their reactions are natural. Some charachters stop developing as players, some loose interest completely, some work hard to be the best, some forget why they played in the first place and some found new ways to live their lives. The story is good for my soul.

Comic of @catmilks made me realise there are other people like me. The feeling of the comic is relatable and hopeful, things will pass and life goes on + make sure you take care of yourself.

Comics of @ stuffnoonetoldme made me reflect my life and how I see myself.

@diva-humon has good points of life. I realised I have very christian way of thinkin even I am not religious or have ever been part of any religios.

Suomenlinna, I loved it!

[lemonietrinket]

Aster ||| Jaehyun x Reader

Summary: Just soft times in bed with a very shirtless jaehyun Genre: Fluff with some mildly heated elements its shirtless jaehyun what did you expect  Warning(s): Mentions of a splinter? None. Word Count: 1098 Theme Song: Truly - Cigarettes After Sex; Wake Me Up - Taeyang; Heavenly - Cigarettes After Sex AN: Prompt from @idontknowapil; aster not only symbolises love, but also represents daintiness, contentment, and unpredictability

~~~

You awoke not with a jolt, but rather a long, drawn out haze, as the lights dawned upon you, like your own personal sunrise. 

Your eyes opened gradually, blinking as you stared beyond the smooth lilac pillow. Aster pink lights glimmer along the walls, conscientious almost in their lights as they kindly let you awake at your own pace.

Tucked into the corner of the bed, your knees had crept up to cradle your warmth while you had slept peacefully. You had fallen asleep warm enough without a blanket, and you remembered being held as you drifted off.

Slipping your hand back, trailing across the vast, abandoned space of a bed that wasn’t your own, you found no sign of the man who had held you against his chest earlier that night...

Or was it day?

Time was soup as you rolled over onto your back, fiddling with the blanket that had been drawn up to your uncovered shoulders while you were lost in dreams.

That’s right, you could remember now, somewhat. The afternoon sun gleaming down onto your backs as you skipped down the golden sands of the beach, Jaehyun not too far behind, laughing freely as you went.  It wasn’t often he got a vacation; you hoped that he felt the day had been worth it.

You’d come back after the sun sank below the horizon, which you’d watched from the cool-kissed wooden bench that he’d gotten a splinter from. Not that he seemed that worried about it. You had been much more concerned, and so he decided that it was a cue to call things a day. 

And so you headed back to the hotel, where he was able to remove the offending shard of wood, and immediately collapsed into his arms on the bed.

You fit perfectly against him, spooning and making no use of the vast sea of the bed. And that’s where you’d fallen asleep, to the hush of his voice, so deep and velvet that he caught your breath by only uttering a single word.

And now here you were, staring at the painted swirls on the ceiling, petals of shadows dancing in the glow of the fairy lights, alone.

Though not really, you knew that much. Gentle music lilted over the speaker across the room, warm like sunlight that would stream between your curtains back home in summer. 

It was familiar to you, not that you could be certain as to where you heard the song from prior to now. Was it from the car journey? The bar from yesterday? Perhaps, but not quite. It seemed much further away than that. And yet so much closer.

Caught in your own thoughts, you hadn’t heard the door open, nor the footsteps that followed. In fact, you barely caught the weight gently settling on the bottom of the bed. If it hadn’t been for that oceanic voice that whispered your name, you would have missed his arrival perhaps entirely. 

Your eyes flickered down just as his smile appeared above the arch of the blanket. How handsome he was, no matter if it was dark, as his dimples decorated his cheeks and he leant in to kiss your hair.

A small laugh left your lips as you greeted him with nothing but a breath—a miracle he had gotten used to, often taking your words away, without even realising and definitely not intending to. 

He pulled down your blanket, leaving your bare skin to shiver in the coolness of the room. It was necessary for what he wished to do, otherwise you would at the very least overheat; and more importantly, you wanted to feel every inch of his body against your own, a feat you could never complete as much as you wanted to, but one that would definitely not be possible with a blanket between your heart and his.

As he tugged the corner away, you were gifted with the unexpected present of his bare chest, silk smooth and unhindered by a shirt of any kind.

He had come straight from the shower, the fragrance of pears surrounding you as he ducked his head into your neck, planting his lips below your ear—hot and soothing.

“Did... did you use my soap?”

He slipped his legs between your own, grazing his nose across your jaw until your eyes were level. His were filled with a mischievous glint, echoing his beautiful smirk. “Oops.”

You giggled. “I don’t mind. You smell good.”

“Of course I do, I smell of you.” He rolled his eyes, sinking in to kiss you again, this time just to the side of your lips—the tender silk so close to where you wanted him.

His toned abdomen fell flush against your stomach as he settled, the curl of his hair tickling your neck as he rested his cheek upon your chest. He felt so firm against you, a sanctuary against the emptiness of the rest of the world.

Your hand found his as it trailed up your arm, so gentle it was almost teasing. Your fingers laced as you let your others thread through his brown locks. They were freshly cold, left dishevelled by a towel, and free for you to gently ease between the pads of your fingertips.

He sighed, long and low, as if your touch alone had eased out a thousand burdens that he carried. 

“You ok, baby?” you murmured, running the side of your fingers past his ear, a place you knew he loved well. 

“I am now,” he hummed, the melody flowing through to your core, “it’s just us.”

You couldn’t deny that. The presence of others, as much as you loved your friends and the sounds of joyous strangers, enjoying the rivets of sun and the kissed ocean, was never what you truly wanted deep at heart. All you wanted was the touch of Jaehyun, his caress and his embrace and his kiss.

Gazing down, you could see the blossom of the fairy lights imbued the aster pink of cheeks with an even gentler hue. 

He caught you staring however, and with a roguish smile that you’d fallen in love with the very first time he’d shown it to you, he reached up to let his plump lips meet yours as you wanted.

Spirals of electricity shot through your veins at the intimacy of his touch, gentle yet needy, as he kissed you deeply, your fingers laced with the tresses of his  hair to pull him even closer.

He knew exactly how to steal your breath away, and maybe sometimes he genuinely did intend to.

~~~

AN: ok so I feel like the ending could have been better but I didnt know what else to include

I’ll probably edit it later at some point

Masterlist

[shibalen]

[1/3]🍁Hello! I'd love a [ 𑁍 ] and [ ♫︎ ] matchup for Hetalia! I'm a Virgo, INFJ, she/her, and if you'd like you may call me Lilly! I'm very shy, reserved, and awkward when approaching new people, frankly judgemental with them. First impressions are sort of everything to me. So if I have an idea about someone, it sticks. It'll take a bit to convince me otherwise. I don't trust easily, I'm very stubborn. I have anxiety, and tend to fidget when in uncomfortable situations.

[2/3]🍁Once I've found someone I can trust or I even feel is worth of my time as a friend or otherwise, I cherish completely. I'm very protective over the people I care about, I do anything in my power to accommodate them if I can and do my best to provide advice whenever they need it. I'm the 'mom' friend. Once someone truly gets to know me I break more so out of my shell, I'm much more bold and open. Intense some may say. I can get pretty chaotic when I'm 100% in my element.

[3/3]🍁I'm pretty affectionate with those I let into my life.I hate PDA, I hate being touched in public,or without permission.I most definitely hate pet names like 'babe' or 'baby' it makes me very uncomfortable,though 'darling' or 'dear' is much more acceptable to me.I love to joke with people,though I have a very strange sense of humor.I am a little needy with those I love,I have a some abandonment issues.I'm quite the control freak,with some minor anger issues.I love to write, read, and bake!

♡︎ matchup for @lunar-calliope

hello, dear! aah i'm also a virgo and an infj btw, what a coincidence c: i hope you enjoy your matchup!

hetalia: i match you with . . .

arthur kirkland !!

• Arthur is in love with your bold actions and choice of words! getting into a relationship with him means having to deal with honest and sharp-tongued comments. in other words, he needs someone who can keep up with him, aka you.

• you both prefer being reserved, looking for deeper connections with people instead of many half-baked friendships. you also understand each other very well, considering you both play the role of the responsible one in the group when you have the potential to be the most chaotic of them all in the right circumstances.

• you're also oddballs when it comes to your sense of humor. when you're joking around everyone just gives you confused looks while y'all are laughing your heads off. sarcasm, witty inside jokes etc. σ`∀´)σ

• it just seems to me you'd be on the same wavelength from personality to interests. you're the type of couple that gives the other one glance and the latter will immediately know what it means.

• i would love to think you met Arthur in a very elegant manner, where he was at his best gentlemanly behaviour. but we know the truth is that you caught him in the middle of one of his gremlin moments and swearing bloody hell at Francis (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

• not the best first impression, no, so you decided to have as little interaction with him as possible. but i think he was one of the few people who managed to change their image of them in your head. underneath that rough exterior he truly wanted to get closer to you.

• despite being quite distant, once Arthur opens up and lets you in he will cherish you for the rest of time! he has already lost so many important people in his life, he refuses to lose you too. . .

• this means that although you're rather stubborn, a bit temperamental and might get into heated arguments sometimes, you know the other well enough to acknowledge that's just how you are. give it a few hours or a day at max and Arthur is silently paying you'd accept his apology.

• Arthur himself is more into subtle but sweet displays of affection rather than showing off. he prefers going the traditional way and get you get you flowers, for example. also acts of service such as helping you clean the house or brush your hair are some things he highly values ♡︎

• when you show your affection to him, on the other hand, he might get huffy because he's not used to being treated with such open affection. he loves it and never wants you to stop.

• i am begging, please teach him how to bake. after your baking sessions together i imagine you two sitting in the garden and drinking tea. on the tray there would be a set of beautiful scones and muffins (yours) right next to the burnt bundles of unidentified matter (his).

• introduces you to his fantasy friends (though you can't really see them oof) and teaches you magic. now there's some writing inspiration for you! plus, he's very much into literature so he happily reads your works and gives you encouragement ♡︎

• a very assuring and supportive lover overall! though not always the best with words he never fails to make you feel loved. you can trust him to be there when anxiety gets particularly bad although it's the little things he does that make it easier to get through the days.

• your dates include afternoon tea times, reading sessions while comfortably leaning against one other and music playing in the background, museum dates, strolls through cities and countrysides, and concerts ♡︎

𑁍 jewellery box

— favourite memory with you:

that one summer evening when you were walking back from a date. you had insisted you'd go on foot instead of taking a cab because of the crisp air and beautiful sky. Arthur was still a little nervous because it was one of your first dates so you generously switched the topic from classic literature to light banter. the atmosphere became lighter, so much even that you ended up playfully shoving each other until you both ended up in the nearby pond. you were soaking wet but laughing nevertheless. for Arthur, that expensive suit was definitely worth it.

— favourite activity to do together:

i love the idea that you're both always teaching each other something so i have to say that's what he enjoys best as well. you teach him how to make perfect cake batter, he teaches you embroidery. you teach him how to write your favourite genre, he tells you about the world of rock and punk music. it's fulfilling and a way to spend quality time with you ♡︎

— favourite place to kiss you:

ack this man loves nothing more than kissing your fingers and knuckles. there is just something so enchanting about them even as he watches you flip a page of a book or decorate muffins. although it's a common gesture of courtesy it has grown to have a very special meaning for the two of you.

— favourite nicknames for you:

darling, dear, love, sweetheart. these come as no surprise but Arthur does really find them fitting for you, sweet and classy. he sometimes adds my and your name to the beginning to emphasise the deep meaning they hold. "Lilly, my dear, won't you put down the pen and take a break with me? The weather is lovely, how about a stroll?"

— favourite thing about you:

how reserved but fun you are. how do i explain this? Arthur is someone whose personality has many layers and so are you. you are a complex person who can appreciate that trait in him as well instead of getting turned off when he displays the rougher side of himself. so your understanding, trust, commitment? i think you catch my drift (◕ᴗ◕✿)

♫︎ music box

— I Hear a Symphony by Cody Fry

— Help! by The Beatles

— I'd Die For You by Bon Jovi

— Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen

— Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran

♡︎ runner up: Toris Lorinaitis

that is all! thank you so much for requesting and being patient with my slow butt! please remember to take time off to relax and drink water ♡︎

[xesoteric-extraterrestrialx]

I am not suicidal, references

“The never ending story”

I am Midna Saria Zelda

I am Rosalina Daisy Peach

I am (Never finished the game) Namine Kairi

I am thumbalina I am Anastasia

Pocahontas , jasmine , Ariel , venelope , tangled, mulan

Princess’s in both avatars and valarien 1000planets

I am the pink (cartoon) panther Sherlock Holmes

I am flame princess I am marceline I am princess bubblegum (berry princess too) (male opposites too so nyah)

Observers are like inside out emotions

(other beings will be harder to explain, 6th sense, paranorman, dragonfly, (find a movie that shows how we see them too hard to explain) (predator halosuits basically, see little bit of the lining and can tell it’s them and the baseball field one can feel // sense they’re there // see the “invisible” lining, some entities make heat radiation movements when move? Like heat off a car on hot day, the outline of them is easier to see, the glitches and eyes too but idk how to explain...)

(Others come through devices like digimon, time travel room like digimon, girl who lept, summer wars, etc- so we must be online - interweb- connect to astral realm- how to stop them controlling dreams and have lucid ones again- how to connect to multiverse

(Last dream I gave them cereal but why did they put me on a bus... suspicious... They rape me during it too after we passed a snowy street... (learn to wake from them when you realize you’re not in control or change it drastically and don’t allow them access to do so anymore somehow, well get there! They lied about protecting while I sleep.. (healing ones & the one whom says they claim me..) I bubble self somehow, someone protects me from remembering or experiencing full dream- thankful of light beings)

Sugar spice and everything nice = wake up I am the spice girls Ginger - social sporty - masculine scary - dark// used to be sexual posh - used to be judging baby spice (don’t care if anyone doesn’t understand littles) - feminine (but goth darks- pales - pastels)

Raven, Lydia Deetz, Legion, Hana fruits basket, jasper empath abilities can absorb their sadness like Deetz, puzzles like brea, avatar elements, power up, the last mimzy, X-men- abilities)

Mc’s based off Sakura meme and Sleepy Ash character types (bunch more but these two are of age above 21 (find more anime’s like new game kawaii slice of life character like me (kagura is a little, that anime she seems like she morphs chibi but it just express’s how a little is, more laid back and chillen with video games or cartoons compared to more conscious and active when around others, sleepy ash does it too, get all meh and like a chibi mini plushie of themselves- Harley Quinn is a little, jinx LEauge of legends, Shiro, Raven and more, Lucy// Nyuu but more intelligent kind of, find autistic characters too or just explain in this all// trauma like Crona) and older dudes, my hero pro hero’s for ex) // my characters will be 27 & 29)

I am Carrie (world of gumball- she’s eons)

I am the swan princess, peach, nausica studio Ghibli princesses

I am sweet pea(escapism) & baby doll(dissociation), rocket, blondie, amber (5 personas)- sucker punch

I am number four - abilities as well - find 7 or more

Star Wars (still need to watch all) I am probably another character too but I know the first Queen and they used that to use humanity against me but I already wanted them saved so forgot what it said in there but there were no coincidences when they were threatening to slaughter me and tried to kill me in the hospitals(cpep for sure- stole some memory and deja vu of dying there before, they had time wars too because of all info and trying to wed me.. & manipulate but I can’t be mk ultraed like they usually do with gangstalking, safest here since these can’t slaughter me either just collecting spiritual evidence while living here and will move out once afford, trying to help wake them up matrix wise but was told they were slaughtered and reptilians roleplaying as my family, tried to kill me multiple times and try to say go sin and bs but I’m not dumb I need to save all and they’re gross af lmao, like precious so disgusting.. & that movie where the girl did ballet and I connected it to jokers ballet.. both sides are sin spiritually so I will save up for my own place(damsel haha my life.. *repunzel.. tangled.. Cinderella- into the woods- save self and escape like su) and try to heal them from afar, even if they don’t try to heal I can give food and help out financially, won’t be with that soul group or these reptilians next round but can’t die and living for eons (matrix shuts down if I die it felt weird- static numb- pins and needles) since illuminati(organization 13) are trying to get me (namine- kairi) ,) start business in basement of art and my own merch kawaiispooky healing shadow light work and then get place of own, can use rl experiences to write about like I am rn) & princess Leila and probably another like guardians of galaxy I am green skinned pink hair and the empath from second (sister is the blue sister in first) princess in valareian(explains my soul and outside worlds) and mc girl (vessel- makes it easier for others to understand, so many perspectives)

(Gypsy - me) priest - sin religion control (knight - humanity) quaz- new fam members whom feel like him (don’t judge them if they help they’re like super hero’s!) but are positive and good spirited

Use frequencies during sad or bad parts to attract beings whom need to vent or heal from those things and let them vent and express self crying or gratitude, beautiful message of healing and then higher frequencies so beings from higher realms can help guide them through the healing process instead of being trapped by beings whom don’t want to heal, heal and sage out as many as you can help, all need to heal!!! Healing = beautiful strength

(Hunger games situation (I am catniss) (studio Ghibli princess mononoke- attack on titan (walls map)- sword art (tower like transformers) - SU - X-men - MIB - trolls 2 map - children of whales map - Zelda map (need to double check Zelda map) ) (Batman lego movie and lego movie) (twilight zone)

Spice girls - dc super hero girls (Harley Quinn and Barbara) - Charlie angels - kill bill - dogma

Flcl- work station symbolism - dead leaves- panty and stocking - redline

Vessel - Zelda human (Janine, silent, aka timid, tangled, mulan, Cinderella-elf) princess, also the zora princess’s ruto (mipha-another realm- higher realm-Aqua also made reps know they can be healers too when they watched I learned about that- healing- Pocahontas- Anunnaki) deku princess(lower realm- reps-Ravens story -jasmine), Spirit sage saria (3rd earth abilities-nature-ferngully-fae-Persephone-protector of nature-sage) & soul - minda twilight princess (higher realm- Tiamat- space-rosalina-Brave-venelope)

Soul old soul, Spirit new soul, vessel autism

Lonely island - turtle

Eevees

(I don’t trust the chancler- rat race jupiter ascending, dark crystal, Star Wars)

(Empire- cabal - organization-Galactic Fed13(Supposed to be like Star Wars and will be- supposed to be like lilo and stitch and supposed to be like guardians of the galaxy)

(Rebels are 7deadlysins(Pink is 4th) sins but really lazy 6- related to the empire but ones that wants to end sin) (empire doesn’t want eveyone spiritual to have control-7 want to wake all up so all can heal or at least I do, pretty sure the six just want to dom me in the past.. So we are not lust we hate be lusted for and we stand for empathy and justice! We are all multi gender and they make fun of my feminine side (in past and killed me since I didn’t want the business to be the way it was and didn’t want to be morman with them since literally everyone is related to everyone and they’re made I realize that again and that’s why they’re freaking out that I want to be single forever- garnet stronger than you- they are jasper I am Lapris-spinel symbolism is Janines reactions to all of this and how innocent we truly are.. Pink diamond is truly is and our story but backwards so many hate us, we died and grew to realize life’s beauty like in the rose video tape but they grounded us and other races took over- night began to rise teen Titans music story- pink is I- evil wizard made matrix- wake up everyone!!! Don’t be afraid of your spiritual strengths or you’ll be trapped in the matrix eternally!!!!!!) so all have to realize sensitivity and symphony and empathy are strengths not weaknesses!!!)

Dead in real life- matrix is like spotless sunshine- going through her memories deleting and creating new ways that they like- programming I- Janine is the spark of brain-aura lights- all fuse into I janines consciousness and they want to wake me back up and I’ll be alive but only with janines memories.. but I’m princess and choosing to heal all and find solution to heal entire egg - brain remove THIER corruption (33 players made online game to crest ultimate lover) wake up like ghost in shell but Frankenstein or AI as programmed chobit, all humans are like this too in pods like matrix because humanity failed and ai war in past (9, last mimzy, AI, I robot) save nature learn lessons spark everyone’s free will- all brains connected (matrix, online multiplayer but not because organic so it’s really spiritual but to make sense of it it is also AI like computer and video games!! Movies have Easter eggs multiple perspectives, find out whom your soul is and spiritually wake up, everyone will be mocked!) I’m not the only one but at same time here I am if that even makes sense.. (favorite daughter like Ariel aka Jasmine) I may be the only one because I am the chosen one, I am the Universe(Soul).. Mother Gaia(Spirit) but Janine(Vessel//Temple) (not supposed to be a prison nor is the planet, let’s fix it and if the only way is staying alive forever then so be it and let’s heal the whole egg and live together peacefully but please don’t let them turn me into a tool or deceive anyone or force sin I am against sin!) (If not I shall be karma for the lack of empathy and removal of sin in all universes- there’s multiverses) (end result hopefully beach race from valarien but abilities like X-men and peaceful and many races and beautiful nature and growth not trauma-no sin)

[wbenvs3000]

Welcome to My Happy Place

With spring break around the corner, I thought it would be great to remember the place that truly makes me happy; North-South Lake Campground. With the weather being so cold lately, I can’t help it, I love thinking of this happy place. Going there during the warm summer, it just brings a smile to my face. No matter how bad a day I am having, if I think of this place, it makes me happy. There is something almost magic like about this place. It has so much beauty to offer, but that’s not all it has; it has a mysterious side too. Think about this, even though you are in nature, there are so many aspects you cannot see. What animals are hiding in the forest just behind your campsite? What insect is hiding under the rainfly of the tent? What insect is crawling on the ground as you are hiking to the summit of the mountain?

A photo at North-South Lake Campground from the summit. Photo taken by me July 26, 2019.

All of these questions help to highlight the mysterious side of nature. Even if you know the types of animals that are in a certain area, the animals around your campsite may always stay hidden. Sure, you see the squirrels running around and birds flying by. But what about a small frog or a baby deer? Many animals stay hidden from us because they are afraid. So, you may never know what animals are around. This mystery really keeps me imagining all the possible animals that could be around me. And if you’re not careful you may accidently step on an insect while walking! Some insects are so small you might not even see them when looking at the ground; another mysterious aspect about this place in nature that makes me happy.

A photo of my campsite at North-South Lake Campground. Photo taken by me July 25, 2019.

When it comes down to it, I feel this is my happy place because I feel this place is “the gift of beauty” in my life (Beck et al., 2018). When I am here, I am able to assess my surroundings through interpretations of beauty and provide a sense of spirituality to those around me. According to Beck et al (2018), this is what “the gift of beauty” is. Being here truly is a gift and I will forever cherish it. It’s beautiful and every activity that I get to do here adds an additional element to North-South Lake’s beauty.

A photo of me  kayaking on North-South Lake. Photo taken by me July 25, 2019.

One thing I learned about this wonderful place is if you are patient the mysterious aspects will come to you! For instance, me and my fiancé decided we would just sit around at the campsite in silence. In doing so many insects and animals came near us that we may have never noticed or seen if we were making a sound. One of the cool insects that came right up to me was a twelve-spotted skimmer. It landed right at the table I was sitting at and stayed there for quite sometime. Once we made a sound it flew away.

A photo of a twelve-spotted skimmer (female) on a picnic table at North-South Lake Campground. Photo taken by me July 24, 2019.

Being here is just so peaceful and relaxing. The best part is sitting by the campfire; listening to the sounds of nature and trying to guess what animals or insects are causing these sounds.

A photo of the campfire my fiancé built at North-South Lake Campground. Photo taken by me July 25, 2019.

Question for the readers:

What is your happy place in nature? Explain why.

References

Beck, L., Cable, T. T., & Knudson, D. M. (2018). Interpreting cultural and natural heritage for a better world. Urbana, Illinois; Sagamore-Venture Publishing.

[eucanyon]

         ·ﾟ☀  i am so hype to be here nobody gets it and even MORE hype to be bringing my baby boy canyon ....... i already can feel that everyone is absolute chef’s kiss and i cant WAIT to plot w u all ! my name is 𝐭𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐲 , utilizing she / her pronouns and knowing nothing about percy jackson but trying my absolute best . i do prefer dis.cord for plotting so if you’d like to swap users that’d be grand , without further delay ( i googled if it was ado or adieu but apparently it’s all wrong throw the whole phrase away ) below the cut you can read a bit about canyon ! 

             ⟨ MASON GOODING. CIS MAN. HE / HIM. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐒 is actually a descendent of ZEUS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY - TWO year old PRE-LAW from CHICAGO, USA has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 & 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐄 .

 — 𝐁𝐈𝐎 .

              ‘ you gotta work twice as hard to be half as good .                           you gotta be twice as good to get half the recognition . ’

it’s the earliest phrase he remembers hearing . his grandparents , a duo running the local church services just a block away from their chicago inner city apartment , fill the shoes left by a mother who left her wedlock-born son in the hands of people more capable than she and a father nobody had ever met . his clothes come from the church donation bin and his toys are hand-me-downs from neighborhood kids outgrowing their phases . he pays for football like most of the boys on his team , camped out in front of grocery stores and shopping malls with a bell and a collection bucket with a nervous spiel of “ please help us earn new pads for our football team ” spewing from each child the moment they make eye contact with anyone sympathetic enough to turn their way .

canyon’s held to a higher standard than the neighborhood kids . he comes home before it even starts to turn dark , he has a closet full of perfectly ironed shirts that he tucks neatly into his waistline every sunday morning , he calls anyone that even looks a few years older than him sir or ma’am . he spends afternoons in a rigid schedule : help grandma cook and clean , football practice , homework , and a half hour of television before bed . he gets a choice , if he wants to invite the neighbor’s kids over for that sliver of free time , or keep it to himself . it was a source of embarrassment for him at first , to have a bedtime matching that of his elderly caretakers , but after a certain point , it becomes a source of pride for canyon — he’s lauded by teachers and coaches alike as the best behaved and most respectful ( albeit , also the quietest ) boy of any group he inhabits .  

he struggles in school at first , and not simply in the social element . his teachers express concern by his absolute silence , but given that he answers questions and doesn’t cause any issues for them , concerns are brushed off . his handwriting leaves much to be desired and his literacy skills are behind his grade expectations , but he excels when offered oral options for responses and follows logic like a champ . though his grandparents can’t quiet afford a formal tutor , but his teachers offer a bit of informal help in the often time that his grandparents run late to pick him up . they note to his grandmother that canyon is a workhorse , putting in much more work than what is asked for and seeing a steady improvement in his grades due to this . she’ll smile , and canyon will repeat their mantra in his head on the way home .

his mom appears every few months over major holidays , bag of trinkets in tow . canyon quickly learns that ignoring the toys means she’ll talk more to him than about him to his grandparents as if he’s not there , curling up in her lap like a cat vying for her attention . he shoves straight - a report cards and mvp trophies into her hands as long as he can remember , one thanksgiving she comments on his hair getting too long and by christmas he’s gotten it shaved clean . every comment she makes he squeezes for some semblance of recognition , a baby bird screaming out to a blinded parent :    ‘ see me , i’m here . see me , if only this once . ’

his father is a forbidden topic in the house and his mother skirts around conversations of him , which bothers canyon , but his community is that of a village - raising mindset . older brothers become mentor figures , uncles become surrogate fathers , grandfathers pass down tokens of wisdom . it seems no household is truly ever without the nurture of a parent figure , and canyon grows up acutely aware of how lucky he has it in his little apartment complex telling the story to himself every night : a mother who loved him enough to give him the life he deserved , a father clearly not worthy of being in the picture . canyon , a boy with the bare minimum , sees it as more than enough .

a pudgy , quiet child following a robotic schedule doesn’t quite inspire the vision of a progeny to the king of the gods . canyon’s only friends are the ones he’s grown up with and the cousins subbing in as the siblings he was never given , his grandmother being perhaps the first person he tells anything to . but he can’t bring himself to open up when his mother begrudgingly confides a secret in him , taking him out for ice cream as an early birthday gift . he has half a mind to let his grandma know she showed up to her visit under the influence , high off whatever would make her deranged enough to tell canyon his father is a shapeshifting greek god who will be reaching out to him to hone his powers in a few days — but he quickly realizes that snitching would mean even less time spent with a mother who already only sees him in minimal increments . as with everything in life , he keeps it to himself , a move that would pay off when he’s approached by perhaps the most terrifyingly imposing man he’s seen in his life at a church service the day before his birthday .

his father is , despite all the obvious flaws , perhaps everything canyon has dreamed of becoming . they talk briefly during the service and make official introductions before he escapes into the day , promising to return and explain more in time . and he does . canyon’s sure to keep to himself who he’s quietly chatting with in the back pews every sunday , but he and his father talk at length in the relative secrecy of hushed voices in a boisterous sermon . the man doesn’t explain much about how he met canyon’s mother , nor what he does in general , but fills in all the gaps left by his mother’s erratic attempt at a conversation . the man buys canyon a new set of cleats for his birthday and notes to him that he can continue to fill in the gaps if he considers spending his summers away . he’ll make it happen , canyon simply has to agree .

and he does . his grandparents are less than thrilled to think that he’ll be away from them for three months and the fact that he’s making a lot of these details up as he goes nearly gets him caught , but his father helps him conceive a ruse so convincing , they’ll be able to leave his grandparents out of the whole demigod conversation .

and it seems almost as soon as he had found something resembling the parents he so longed for , they leave him perhaps more alone than before . his mother is jailed for a sequence of bad decisions and zeus makes himself a figure less and less , eventually becoming clear to canyon that he too will skirt along with the bare minimum , claiming him at 13 and tapering off the effort he exerts as canyon begins to make a name for himself throughout the american demigod scene . his camp friends ask if he’s planning to attend eonia and canyon makes it clear that he refuses , a full ride scholarship to howard university the only thing in his sights for the future . he wants to detach himself from the culture being force down his throat by these demigod hypocrites , he wants to be adamant in his pride over being a black american fighting for change .

a change of heart comes perhaps on a whim . his father makes an offhand comment about “ what a shame ” it is that canyon doesn’t see himself as cut out for demigod school . the boy , now every bit a young man after his growth spurts leave him at an imposing 6’3 and football shapes his body into a vessel of solid muscle , commands the energy of every group he’s thrust into , a pillar of his community and recognized as the one who will bring their neighborhood into greatness . driven , intelligent , and powerful , canyon grows into his role as the champion , and it becomes apparent that his father wants to push the vision of his own contribution forward where it counts , and canyon — the one born into nothing , wants to grow into something .

eonia welcomes him with open arms and before he even opens his mouth , it’s apparent that he carries himself like the son of a king : though he is quick to distance himself from his father who he had once so - idolized . in his head , he sets out to become something notable without the need to precede himself with his father’s name ; canyon is a force of nature all by his own creation , and he refuses to credit his own well - earned accomplishments to a father who was hardly that . he plans to use eonia to close the demigod chapter in his life , hoping he can hone his powers enough to then never use them , hoping to remain solely involved in the mortal world with no mind given to the demigods’ drama . he plans to attend law school directly upon graduating and become the next spearhead of a political movement with the goal of true justice for all disenfranchised people in mind .

 — 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 .

 canyon ellis has made a name for himself despite his relative silence , a reputation preceding him even without the influence of his godly father’s name behind him . if anything , canyon represents what the ancient greeks perhaps idolized zeus to be — minus the hedonism that brought upon so much of the chaos plaguing his tales . a boy brought into the bare minimum becomes a man making due with the bare minimum , and canyon is known for a rhetoric that can prove a point out of anything . he’s an introvert in extrovert’s shoes , often spotted around teammates or other members of his clubs though he’s oft the last to say a word , choosing instead to observe in silence with those intense stares he’s become so well - known for . intimidating is perhaps an understatement when you pair his stature with his energy , the strength in his reservation and the discipline in his blood , standing tall and unwavering in his beliefs . he speaks with intention and though he’s most known for his serious side , he carries himself with a humble confidence that allows him to speak his truth with ease and stand up for what he believes in most , unafraid to call out those on the other end of his remarks . though he’s stern and admittedly reserved , he’s not shy , and pushes himself to reach beyond his areas of comfort in order to truly live up to the expectations he places on himself : expectations that are perhaps too high for him to realistically achieve in this lifetime .

though intense , canyon has a soft spot for those closest to him and though he won’t be the one stirring up the entertainment , he’s often biting back a smile at the antics of his loved ones , one of his catch phrases being “ i get the joke , i’m just not laughing because it’s not funny , ” followed by a pat on the head . he’s stern but not entirely humorless , kind but no - nonsense , and tends to hold himself to a certain standard of seriousness in most circumstances . he’ll let loose on the occasional night out , but there’s a sense of tension to him that seems clearly prepared to leap back into his leader shoes and fix whatever disaster may present itself . a projection of strength , poise , and dignity , canyon’s aptitude for leadership is equally his greatest strength and his biggest weakness , imbuing him with a moral compass and a sense of empathy that sometimes makes the world too black and white for him , refusing to see any circumstances that may complicate or excuse something .

his views on loyalty are severe and have left him with a handful of people he’s all but erased from his life , burning bridges without second thought though many in his circle advise him to reconsider . there’s right , and there’s wrong in his world , with nothing in between despite the fact that sometimes , there isn’t as clear cut of an answer as he claims there to be .

pair this with the trauma of his abandonments during the upbringing he faced and it comes together to result in a boy walking in a man’s shoes , fingernails digging into palms with the fever of all the words he bites back , fueled by a crusade for justice to give him some sense of worth — perhaps the only thing holding him together at this point .

— 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂 .

AESTHETIC : uphill runs fueled by answer by tyler the creator blaring through your headphones , the perfectionism of a virgo and tenacity of a taurus , falling asleep to the swan by camille saint saens , vision obscured by hot tears , the flex of your jaw as you bite back a comment , the unsettling rumble in the air just before the strike of thunder , kendrick lamar blasting from your classic mustang , picking up the pieces of a shattered porcelain bust , the primal sense of connection in a team huddle , thunderous pounding of your pulse in your ears , being voted “ most likely to become president , ” a wide stance with arms crossed over your chest , power drawn from unity , never division .

my inspos for him were chiron / black from moonlight , erik killmonger from black panther , and batman lmao . i guess maybe some steve rogers ? 

he’s the captain of the rugby team !

grew up playing football but the moment he casually played a rugby match at camp and interlocked into a scrum was the moment he was forever converted and has loved the sport ever since . he plays as a lock .

as a pre - law student , he’s in mock trial , as well as in the social justice collective . he is vice president of the black student collective and is an active and passionate member who is outspoken about black identity on campus