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bulldagger-bait · 9 months ago

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I said i was going to answer all these questions at one point sooooo.... This is that lol

1: The type of dysautonomia I have is Hyperandrogenic Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (or h-POTS) for short

2. My diagnosis story is a loooooong one. The first time I became aware of any POTS related symptoms was when I was in hospital for an overdose on medication that affected my heart. (It was two medicines that when taken together in an OD disrupt the heart's electrical function). I was 17 and suddenly HYPER aware of my heartrate and was paranoid about the OD having caused heart damage. I felt tachycardic and tried many times to find answers for what was happening. They did several ECG's; all normal (as is expected with POTS), but got no further answers. It was dismissed as anxiety.

Fast forward a few years and I learn about POTS. I think it's likely I have it, so i start keeping detailed logs of my heart-rate (HR) before and after standing. Eventually i work up the nerve to ask a GP about it through my uni. It was one of the worst doctor's appointments ive ever had. He dismissed all my symptoms as low blood sugar and deconditioning. Describes my HR and pulse as weak despite not examining me. When he finally does take my pulse he is surprised by how strong it is. This ultimately does not lead anywhere. I do however purchase a blood-glucose monitoring kit and start recording my HR and blood sugar and find no correlation.

One day I am trying to donate blood plamsa and they say that i am tachycardic and they cant take my blood until i am cleared by a cardiologist. This gets the ball rolling, a bit, but its still at least a year before I even start being investigated for POTS.

With the aid of a new (better) GP i am refered to the only cardiologist in my city who has a tilt table. I first go through a battery of tests (multiple ECG's, a Halter Monitor, and an Echocardiogram (I get to skip the cardiac stress test because i am in a wheelchair) to rule out structural or electrical conditions of the heart.

Finally the day of the tilt table arrives. I do EVERYTHING to prepare my POTS to be as symptomatic as possible. I lie on the table. They go through the process. My HR stays steady. I am devastated. But the cardiac nurse says, "we'll just get you to lie down and then stand up again quickly, because it doesn't always show up on the test." I lie down again, and my fucking nerves are shattered. I can't see my HR but I will later learn that it is an even 70. I stand up and my HR immediately shoots to over 120. I feel the blood pressure cuff inflate and I am just praying that my blood pressure stays steady. I will later learn that it increased significantly.

I have to wait a week for a follow up with my cardiologist and i am so stressed for that appointment. At this point I have been waiting for just about 4 years and I have spent over $3000 in medical bills (over 80% of which i will thankfully get back due to medicare. I love you medicare) to get an answer. I sit down in the chair in his office and wait for him to come in. He records the appointment for his secretary to later type up.

"I am seeing [name redacted] a 21 year old woman referred to me with a history of tachycardia in order to investigate—", his words just fade into the background. They become secondary and I am just waiting for the penny to drop, for him to say nothing is wrong; for this to have been a useless exercise, "multiple 12-lead ECG's showed no abnormality, Halter Monitor indicated multiple incidences of tachycardia, as was anticipated, Electrocardiogram: normal, tilt-table test showed resting HR at 70bpm; blood pressure 108/70, standing HR at 123bpm; blood pressure 128/90, diagnosis of POTS requires HR increase of >30bpm upon postural change with no drop in blood pressure, result positive."

Result. Positive.

With two words I had been vindicated. I. Was. Right.

The rest of the consultation discussed that I have the Hyperandrogenic subtype of POTS, and went over a treatment plan. As of the current day I have been waiting over a year for a referral to THE ONLY POTS specialist in my country so he can assess my case and step up care. My current symptoms cannot be managed by diet, fluid intake, heart medication, or compressive garments for various reasons, and so now it is time to pursue options like saline infusion therapy. (Whew that was a long one)

3. As mentioned in the answer above, the time it took to get my diagnosis was around 4 years. (I first noticed symptoms in June of 2018, and finally got diagnosed in the first half of 2022.

4. My most bothersome symptom is a hard one to pick. What I experience daily is dizzyness and pre-syncope but it is not always problematic. Fatigue is definitely one that I find most disabling, as I feel exhausted to the point of not being able to complete ADL's (activities of daily living) such as bathing, hygiene tasks, dressing myself (I might be able to dress myself in the morning, but then sleep in those clothes for example. Sometimes i require complete assistance, but not always. Currently, I have been wearing the same clothes for almost 3 days), feeding myself (I can eat, but struggle to prepare food and rely on others), among others.

The most debilitating symptom would have to be heat intolerance. I had a day recently where I had to keep my head between my knees while out because I was pre-sycopal while sitting. I was so nauseated I had to use all of my energy not to throw up. When we finally got home, I couldn't even lift my head up from the pillow without becoming dizzy. When my POTS is that bad I become bedridden.

Another problematic symptom would be blood-pressure induced migraines, but I also have two other conditions that cause migraines, so its hard to assign a root cause to them, and it feels disingenuous to label that as solely a POTS symptom. They do however leave me bedridden in complete darkness and silence for three days. So. Not great for functionality.

5. A day in the life with dysautonomia: I wake up and generally lay around for a while. I have to be careful with standing up, but usually i forget to be. The first time getting up in the morning is usually the worst. On my way to the bathroom I will have an episode of pre-syncope, but thankfully I usually sit down pretty quickly. I've only had two syncopal episodes with POTS, but THOUSANDS of pre-syncopal ones, so I kind of just power through them. On a bad day, I would struggle to go about my ADL's. I typically would not try to negotiate the stairs and would be reliant on others for help. On a good day I might have an errand that I have to run, (like a medical appointment, a social engagement, or something like going to the pharmacy). I tend to be a home body and dont usually go out for extended periods of time by myself. I will then do my ONE activity for the day and come home exhausted. On a bad day I might request my anti-POTS miracle meal which I call "ocean brine". (A tablespoon of miso paste in boiled water, with plenty of added salt). This usually has me feeling better. On a typical day though, I usally dont shower, and I dont brush my teeth. I know. Believe me i find it just as gross as you do. I have a capital D Disability which makes it very hard to take care of myself, and though my partner does provide care to me, I also dont want to burden her with those sorts of things. The house I'm in also doesn't have a bath, so I have to take showers which I find much more energy intensive and activating in regards to my POTS. When I had a feeding tube I was able to run fluids over a 24-hour period to meet my hydration goals, but without it I haven't been able to do so, so I have been more symptomatic. Throughout the day my heart races and I get dizzy and pre-syncopal more times than I can count. Sitting upright is tiring, so I spend a lot of my time laying down in bed. I am content, but I know my quality of life could be dramatically improved if my POTS was under control.

6: my medication regimen is as follows:

Morning: 100mg tapentadol SR (for pain management), 10mg baclofen (to relax muscles), 150mg venelefaxine (to treat depression, but also to assist in pain management. Its my wonder drug)

Evening: 50mg tapentadol SR (for pain management), 10mg baclofen (to relax muscles), 10mg amitriptyline (to treat nerve pain)

My current dose of amitriptyline is going to be stepped up to better treat pain. Prior to taking it I was on 10mg of haloperidol in the mornings to help prevent nausea, but it would have interacted and I prefer nausea over pain. I have also taken Ivabradine in the past, but it did not cause significant symptoms alleviation, and I couldn't justify the cost of it (between $50-$70 per month) with all of my other medical expenses. I cannot take beta-blockers due to the medication I take to treat asthma. I also used to take salt tablets, but I couldn't get the dosage right with my highly variable fluid intake and caused myself some intense hypertension.

7: my favourite product to manage my symptoms would have to be: good old fashioned salt. I love my "ocean brine" as well on a bad day. On a really bad day I might endure the sensory hell that is compression garments. But even if it wasn't a sensory nightmare I would find compression garments problematic as they are costly and require a level of daily upkeep I am unable to complete. The best thing I've ever had to help manage my POTS was intravenous saline, but that was only while in hospital. It was nice not to get dizzy when standing up, though!

8. Favourite way to hydrate? Well, my most preferred way was running fluids through my NJ tube. I have comorbid gastrointestinal dysmotility, and so fluid intake is challenging to manage. As for what I hydrate with daily... I try to get my fluids by any means except just plain water. That usually takes the form of an energy drink which is definitely hindering more than helping 😅, and through my food. (Beloved ocean brine). I really struggle to drink a litre of fluids a day, and so im pretty much chronically dehydrated, and what I do drink I prefer to taste nice, especially since it makes me nauseated.

9: my favourite salty snacks include: ocean brine, seaweed, thinly cut chips, salted crackers, (oysters if I'm at the coast. I load those bad boys up), biltong (a dried meat snack similar to jerky but vastly superior in every single way posible), droewors (like bilton but its made from boerwors, an afrikaans sausage), and even just good old handfuls of salt.

10: I do not have a favourite pair of compression socks. I hate them. I cannot tolerate even mild compression, let alone the high compression needed for POTS. I also can't tolerate the recommended thigh-high socks or waist-high stockings. It. Is. Sensory. Hell. I get so overstimulated incredibly quickly, and I cannot complete with the daily washing required.

11. My mobility aids are as follows: two different manual wheelchairs used whenever I want to walk further than, say, 50m. One is a travel chair and is better for when someone is pushing me, but it is uncomfortable and difficult to use, but it was my first chair and I'm very attached. The other is a hand-me-down custom active wheelchair that mostly fits, it has dramatically improved my quality of life but she is at the end of her life and busy falling apart. A cane used for short distances. And a pair of forearm crutches for when a cane isn't enough. I would like to get a rollator to try and push myself to improve my walking distance, but the one I want is expensive. One day though. I am currently in the process of getting MY OWN custom chair. Very exciting!!

12: I manage a flare with bed-rest, cooling (with a fan, or sometimes spraying myself with water), and lots of salt. I am tempted to get another refill of Ivabradine to take when it's really, really bad and I just need to take the edge off. I also have medication i can take if i get a migraine. I also try to activate my parasympathetic nervous system as much as possible with deep breathing, or submerging my face in cold water, (or cold showers if i have enough energy to do so).

13: the thing that has helped me the most since diagnosis, has been my diagnosis. I finally have an explanation for what is going on with me instead of just thinking I was lazy. My POTS assisted me with getting on disability as though it may not be my most disabling condition, it does DEEPLY affect my day to day and quality of life. There is power in a diagnosis. You can get help. Without one you are stuck without any explanations or resources.

14: tips for cooking or cleaning with dysautonomia: Do. It. Sitting. Down. I shower sitting down. Life changing. Also: Last night was one of the rare occasions I was able to cook. I did the entire thing sitting down. I iron sitting down (except for the one time i let my pride dictate what i should do and i knocked myself out for 5 days with a flare). I fold laundry sitting down. When I do larger cleaning tasks like vacuuming, I wait for a good day and do one room at a time with sitting breaks. I do a task like unpacking the dishwasher while i wait for the kettle to boil and i sit down if i have to, or for things like putting away the cutlery. But, i will also be getting cleaning services soon as part of my disability benefits which will help HUGELY. I wont have to burn up all my energy trying to tackle one cleaning task in a day. Do it sitting down, and delegate (if you are able to).

15: when it comes to managing dysautonomia in work or at school, I am at a loss. I am unable to attend school or work with my current level of disability. If I go back to studying I will have to read up on effective strategies and talk extensively with my school's disability liaison for help.

16. My favourite dysautonomia-friendly hobby is crochet. But, I have to be careful because due to an underlying connective tissue disorder I have hypermobility in both elbows, which lead to ulnar nerve entrapment and inflammation. I also got both tennis AND golfer's elbow. I had one ulnar nerve transposition, and I'm saving up for the other. My other hobby is doing puzzles. I sit on the floor with my puzzle and just slowly chip away at it. Songwriting and playing the guitar is another one I enjoy. It allows me to express my feelings and get out what's bothering me.

17: go to comfort-show movie during a flare? I dont really watch tv or enjoy watching movies anymore. When I did, it was Ice Age. Now, id rather put on a video essay, or something like that. If i feel like TV, its Grey's Anatomy, or Clone Wars. Maybe if I feel up to it I might watch the tennis or some other sport.

18: my support system consists of my partner and our girlfriend, my mother, and my medical care team. I also have friends I can lean on and spend time with. Recently, communication with my family in South Africa has opened up, so I can talk to them too now.

19: best interaction with a healthcare provider? Id say my GP and I have a really good raport. I can trust her, and she listens to me and believes me. My psychologist is also an amazing woman who has helped me more than I can ever express. My physio is wonderful and has motivated me to work harder and fight to take back what levels of functionality I can. I also used to see an osteopath for massage and dry needling for pain, and he was wonderful and attentive. The dry needling really helps relieve muscle tension and pain during a flare. He would push a needle into my piriformis and i would feel a JOLT as the muscle relaxed around my nerve and relieved sciatica. The radiologist who does my ulnar nerve cortisone injections is EXCELLENT and has NEVER caused me any pain or discomfort during an injection. I have met wonderful nurses who held my hand as I cried and helped calm me down during some of the most traumatic times in my life. Its hard to just pick one positive.

20: my worst interaction with a healthcare provider is a dead tie between two. One incident occurred when I was 13 and less than two weeks out from a spinal fusion. My wound site got infected and the emergency room nurse who treated me thought i was exaggerating my pain and malingering. When the time came to change my dressing, she reapplied the bandage by slapping it down. Now, as you can imagine, having someone SLAP your FRESH spinal fusion surgery incision MULTIPLE times was incredibly painful. Just shocking treatment, honestly. Who does that to a kid?

The second incident occurred after a suicide attempt. The nurse screamed at me and cussed me out for what I had done. He totally lost it at me. I have hazy memories of him belligerently yelling at me, and having to be escorted away by a colleague. There are countless other incidents of health professionals deliberately causing me pain, or berating/insulting/demeaning/dismissing me, but those two are the ones that stand out.

21: one misconception i want to debunk is that everyone with POTS faints all the time. Only about 13% of people with POTS experience regular syncopal episodes. The vast majority of us do not faint. If you faint when standing up, chances are you have some other kind of dysautonomia. The likelihood is that it is not POTS. However, that does not mean that people who regularly faint don't have POTS, as there are MANY who do. But its not the majority. I, for example, have only had 2 POTS related syncopal episodes, and usually only experience pre-syncope. That means, for me, that I basically have every other symptom that comes with fainting, but I don't lose consciousness. I also dont fall over, but I have on occasion lost my balance and hit the ground. But I am still conscious, even though my vision completely blacks out and I lose my equilibrium.

22. I have comorbidities with my dysautonomia. I have the classic trio of Hypermobility (HSD, but possibly EDS (pursuing diagnosis)), h-POTS, and gastrointestinal dysmotility (oesophageal spastic motility disorder and gastroparesis). I have also had strange allergy flares where I spontaneously break out in hives, become short of breath, and generally just feel like pure absolute shit). Comorbid with my hypermobility/connective tissue disorder I have scoliosis which was surgically corrected, and resulted in chronic pain and nerve damage. I also have asthma. In addition to all of this I have Functional Neurological Disorder. I am also neurodiverse in that I have Dissociative Identity Disorder (like, actually DID, not tiktok or discord DID... Like the actual real thing that has actually really been diagnosed by a psychiatric professional), as well as dyscalculia, and it is also likely that I have other neurodevelopmental disorders which I am pursuing diagnosis for. Basically: I am the culmination of generations of genetic misfortune... Yay...

23: how do i deal with heat intolerance. Answer: I don't. I'd LOVE to figure it out 😅

24: my morning and nighttime routine with dysautonomia mainly consists of: take pills; lay down.

25: what's in my bag? I don't carry a bag, i simply keep everything on my lap. All i take with me are my phone and wallet (which i dont even have anymore because my wallet was STOLEN, but thats another story). I really should carry a bag with me, but I dont.

26: dysautonomia has taught me my limits more than anything else. It has also taught me how to navigate the medical industry, and to trust my gut. I know when something is wrong with my body, and my instincts are usually right (apart from the few times where they haven't been 😅). The medical process for me has largely been researching my symptoms, and bringing them up to doctors by suggesting possible causes. That has led to testing, and sometimes I've been wrong, but usually I am right. That doesn't mean I doctor shop until I get an answer I want to hear, though. If i dont fit the bill for a condition, then I accept that answer. But when I have advocated for myself and gotten tested for the conditions I have, I have felt very vindicated when I have been proven right. There's nothing quite like the feeling when you've been told that you are just crazy or making things up, and you finally get an answer saying that you were right to be concerned about your health all along. That doesn't mean I'm happy that I'm disabled, but it does mean that I have answers for WHY I'm disabled and I'm able to get the treatment I need to improve my quality of life.

27: advice for anyone who is newly diagnosed? Get a functional capacity assessment (FCA). You might qualify for disability, especially if you have comorbidities. In Australia, a disability is defined as a significant functional impairment. You may think you're pushing through things alright, but its not until someone assesses you and points out how you are significantly impaired when compared to a healthy person that you realise all the ways a condition has taken over your life. A FCA also allows you to pinpoint areas in your life where you need help, and get help that is targeted toward them. Also, if you can afford it, work with an Occupational Therapist as well to find strategies or tools that you can use to help you function day to day. But the really good thing about a FCA is that it is EVIDENCE. It is medical evidence that you can use to advocate for yourself in order to get the treatment you need.

28: if its one thing i wish others knew about dysautonomia is just how debilitating it can be. In my particular case, my POTS fatigue merges with my chronic pain fatigue to create a wave of exhaustion that I struggle to articulate. Its not that I'm lazy. I want to do things with my life. If i could, I would have a full-time job, I'd study, and I'd have a rich social life. As it stands, I am unable to do that. I can't even prepare food for myself most days for christ's sake. I wouldnt choose to live like this. I dont want to live like this. If i could make someone live in my body for a day, they'd understand. Hell, maybe even I would understand how bad it really is compared to being healthy and able-bodied. I miss going on walks. I miss running. I miss being able to stand for hours on end. I miss showering every day. I miss being able to keep my space clean and tidy. I miss being able to DO things. I wouldn't live like this if I had a choice in the matter.

29: what others can do to support those with dysautonomia? Listen. Believe us. That's all.

30: what does dysautonomia awareness month mean to me? Well, it means more people just knowing about these conditions. In a post-covid world, so many people have POTS but have no idea they have it. I didn't know I had it until I chanced by a mention of it online. Having knowledge changes lives

31: Anything else to say? Nope. I think that's about it.

October is Dysautonomia Awareness month and Vitassium has a 31 day challenge. And I want to participate but lack consistency so I’ll prob do them in clumps. Anyways here’s a screenshot of the list :)

See y’all in a few days!

(I’m probably doing Inktober too but that won’t be posted here lol, it’ll be the month of consistency challenges)

#that was a long mess of a lot of shit #if you read all of this... youre a real one.#POTS

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dorothy-rainbird · 2 years ago

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FORGOTTEN

Part 3

Warnings: Diluc and Kaeya are sus

Notes: Exams are over…the suffering…is over….I’m finally FRE- *gets smacked by multiple tests*

Here part 1 and part 2

Summary: You die stopping your brothers form fighting, but somehow live? You lose all memory of them tho and get transported to another relam. And then you meet four years later.

“THEY SAVED MY LIFE JUST A WHILE AGO.”

Traveler yelled in frustration and it made Diluc freeze. Like a deer caught in headlights. A million questions rose in his mind. Did he hear that correct?

“Master Diluc? Hey? Are yo-��

“Please go back to your room.”

And with that, he left.

Traveler groaned in frustration. Who is this mystery person? They took down those monsters form the pit so easily…Their head throbbed. Maybe some fresh air can help? Yes, fresh air would be lovely. Maybe a small walk around the vineyard as well….in some appropriate clothes of course.

They headed back to their room and changed into their normal clothes. It was hard to do that because of the injuries but they were unfazed. They could only think about the mystery person in silence. Speaking of silence, where is the silence breaker Paimon? Meh maybe she’s outside as well?

________________________

It was a peaceful sunny day outside. Just like the day when they fell into that pit of horror. Crystalflies were merrily fluttering among the vineyards with a soft glow. Traveler strolled among them, wanting to collect them but their aching body said otherwise. There were so many things going around! From a distance we can see birds in their nests, squirrels collecting nuts, Paimon arguing with Kaeya…wait- Kaeya? What was he doing here?

Next to the manor’s entrance, Paimon was yelling at Kaeya and angrily stomping her foot in air while Kaeya just crossed his arms and said something that seemed to annoy her even further. Next to them was Elzer who was desperately trying to calm them down.

“HAH! PAIMON BETS YOU CANT EVEN EAT GRAPES!”

“Now now, just because i don’t like grape juice doesn’t mean I can’t eat grapes.”

“Why are you two yelling about eating grapes?” Traveler decided to join in. Paimon perked up at the familiar voice.

“Traveler! Look! Paimon was just asking Elzer for grape juice and Kaeya had THE AUDACITY to appear out of NOWHERE AND MAKE FUN OF PAIMON FOR WANTING A DRINK!”

“I was just trying to greet you Paimon-“

“What kind of greeting goes “ew grape juice”?”

“Pfft” Traveler tried to stifle their laughter. It only further offended Paimon and she began ranting even louder.

“By the way what are you doing here Kaeya?” Ignoring the angry pixie, traveler now gave their attention to Kaeya’s strange presence at the manor. Why was he here though?

(If you look real closely you can see salt being rubbed on a certain angry marshmallow who was being ignored.)

“Don’t mind me, I’m here to pay a visit to master Diluc regarding some matters. Now, Elzer?”

“Right this way Master Kaeya,” Elzer bowed and began leading Kaeya inside the manor. They were about to enter when traveler suddenly called his name.

“Kaeya!” He was there in that picture. His blue hair and eye can’t be mistaken for somebody else’s. Maybe he knows who that child was?

Kaeya stopped in his footsteps and turned to the traveler.

“…nothing, sorry.” But traveler hesitated.

Kaeya stared for a second then huffed with a small smile and went inside, leaving traveler alone with Paimon.

…………

“HEY! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING???” Paimon impatiently floated in front of the traveler’s face, waving her arms. They snapped out of their thoughts. Darn, they let another chance escape…

“What was that? You were staring into space.” Her tone was full of concern. Should she know? Doesn’t seem to bring any harm to tell her…

“Paimon, there was something in that room at the end of the ha-“

“Honorary Knight, hello!” It was Adelinde this time.

“Hey Adelinde! What’s up?” Paimon turned and waved at her as she approached them.

“Oh nothing much, I see you are recovering honorary knight.” She smiled at the traveler. They smiled back.

“I am, but pray tell, why is Kaeya here?” Curiosity got the better of traveler as they asked.

Adelinde’s smile was replaced by a sad look. She quickly tried to cover it up but the duo had already seen it.

“I think they are having a work related meeting. Im not sure.” She said but it also felt fake, like a lie.

“Adelinde, are you okay?” Paimon was confused at her behaviour.

“Im fine really! Instead I should be the one asking you, traveler you look pretty distracted by something.” She was right about traveler looking distracted though. They really can’t get their mind off that picture.

“Adelinde, can I ask you something?”

“Yes?”

“What is that room at the end of the hall on the first floor?”

______________________

Somewhere….

“Hey toots, whatcha doing here all alone?”

Alone on a rooftop, a (h/c) haired person sits and stares at the black and red sky above them. They didn’t notice the brunette girl approaching them until she called them out.

“Nothing much, just wondering about this damn pit…” they sighed. The girl lazily sat next to them.

“or are you wondering about those two?”

“…..”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“*sigh* It’s just…listen, I don’t believe in this “aura” and shit but there is something about them that felt so familiar.”

“…have you inhaled any toxic gases recently?”

The brunette received a playful punch on the shoulder. She giggled.

“No damn it. I just- ugh…even I can’t explain this…it feels so familiar like I…I-“ they stop mid sentence as they find themselves short of words. What is that familiar feeling?

The brunette was about to speak when a siren went off.

“Crap it’s happening again!” They both got up from their seats and jumped off the roof, reaching the ground running through the ghostly streets.

“Wasn’t this supposed to not occur until next week??” The (h/c) haired person asked clearly confused and concerned.

“I don’t fucking know! Just focus of reaching the top of the cathedral!” The brunette yelled as they both ran even faster.

#genshin impact #diluc ragnvindr #genshin x reader #diluc #kaeya alberich #diluc and kaeya #diluc angst #genshin kaeya #kaeya angst #kaeyagenshinimpact #diluc genshin impact #genshin x y/n #genshin x you #traveler #genshin traveler #dawn winery

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seita · 4 years ago

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— better than (m.)

pairing : iwaizumi/reader

wordcount : 3.087

genre : fluff, smut, pwp

cw : college!au, athletic trainer!iwaizumi

tags : implied age gap (hes 27 reader is in college- age nkt specified. he's older tho), size kink, dom!iwa, pussy job (a lil bit), multiple orgasms, sensitivity kink (if u squint), squirting, fingering, creampie, aftercare.

note : this was just an excuse to write about how iwaizumi is better than any other boy <3 thank u to @toshisins for beta'ing this for me <3

+ summary : you're so tired of dumb college boys who hump and dump, with no stroke game, and can never even try to get you off. that is, until you meet 27 year old iwaizumi hajime.

When you first met Iwaizumi Hajime at the bar near your college campus, you noticed how good looking he was. Well, that was an understatement - he was tall, fit with tanned skin and a confident aura that made you weak in the knees.

You hadn't actually had the courage to approach him, however. Instead, you let some college boy buy you a cheap drink and take you home for some mediocre sex before kicking you out after not even 15 minutes of his reckless humping.

The second time you met him was at the same place. He was sitting at the bar, nursing a glass of whiskey that was almost empty. His back was to you and it gave you a wonderful view of his broad shoulders.

The mediocre lay from the last time you had been there attempted to chat you up again with false confidence, as if he had been the best fuck of your life. Naturally, you weren't having any of his bullshit - he tried to rub your clit like a scratch and sniff, forcing you to pry his hand away from it, there was no chance in hell you were giving him another second of your time. He definitely wasn't the type of guy who took rejection well, if not evident by the way he exploded and went off calling you a wide, colorful variety of names paired with numerous hurtful insults that had tears of humiliation filling your eyes.

“Hey now,” a smooth, deep voice had interrupted his very public spiel, “Don’t punish the girl for your own short comings, if she doesn't wanna fuck you again, don't you think that says more about your abilities as a man?”

The other man sputtered, muttering even more curses before storming out - probably not wanting to tussle with a guy who looked like he benched every second of his day.

There was something about Iwaizumi that just immediately had your heart skipping a beat over him. He was kind, a gentleman, and never seemed desperate or overbearing. He was confident and comfortable with himself and where he was in life.

You quickly learned that Iwaizumi was 27, almost 28 and worked as an athletic trainer so he traveled a lot.

For a while, your relationship seemed one sided with him. You'd text him and he’d reply but he rarely ever actually reached out to you. You tried flirting with him, asking him out for drinks, but it never seemed to pull him in.

It was frustrating. In basically no time at all, you had developed a stupid puppy dog crush on him. You felt like a middle school girl with a crush on a high school senior - like he was never going to give you the time of day. You were simply too young for him.

You eventually stopped trying with him, choosing to delete your message thread with him and continued on with your life.

You went through more college-boy hookups - all of them ending in disaster. Quite frankly, you were fed up with mediocre cock and being treated like shit when they were done with you. It wasn't a nice feeling, being kicked out after they didn't even bother trying to make you cum.

You couldn’t help but wonder what Iwaizumi would be like in bed. He was just so attractive, you knew he had gotten his dick wet more times than he could count. He definitely seemed the type who preferred relationships over hookups.

That's when it occurred to you.

You pulled out your phone and scoured your contacts. It had been a couple weeks since you spoke but you couldn't resist bugging him just one last time. You opened a new message thread with him and quickly typed the question that was now plaguing your mind.

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

It was the question that had changed the course of your relationship with him.

When you asked, it was like everything fell into place. Perhaps it finally relayed to him the interest you had. All that really mattered was the fact he suddenly began talking to you, starting conversations and even venturing into phone calls with you.

You lost all interest in those college boys you once hung out with and went home with to get laid. None of them made you feel the way Iwaizumi could with a simple text message. He was everything a girl could ask for and you were shocked he was single.

Which was why you were quick to ask him on a date, not caring if it made you look desperate -- you practically were. You would be damned if he went off the market while you were busy beating around the bush.

Going on a date with Iwaizumi was like a dream. You were so used to dates at sleazy bars for a couple of drinks just so they could hurry up and take you home for a quick fuck.

Iwaizumi took the time to take you on several dates -- dinner, movies, walks around town to obscure shops he thought you might like, before it finally led to the bedroom.

You had never been nervous with sex but with Iwaizumi it was different. The routine was dumb college boys who usually fawned over your tits for a few minutes before their hard ons became the center of their brain function.

You found yourself completely bare on his bed as he stood at the foot, fully clothed. The way his eyes raked across your body like a lion eyeing its next, delicious meal had you curling in on yourself shyly.

His lips quirked up as your arms came across your breasts, shielding them from his predatory gaze, “Oh now, you know better than that, don’t you? What kind of good girl hides herself, hm? Acted so eager for my cock all this time, now you wanna be shy?”

You gasp, cheeks flushing hot as you register his words -- he’d known you wanted him that badly all this time?

He clicks his tongue, “You didn’t think you were subtle did you? Bet you would have done anything to get your paws on my dick when I got off work early the other day, hm? Showed up at your apartment...you were starin’ real hard at me, I’m right aren’t I?”

You think that to that day, lashes fluttering against your cheeks at the memory. He was wearing loose gray sweats and a muscle tank top that showed his biceps flexing with every movement he made. Your eyes had immediately been drawn, however more down to his crotch instead. Where you could clearly see the outline of his cock through the material.

You had stuffed your little fingers in your cunt for hours that night, thinking about how big he looked -- even soft, couldn’t imagine if he was hard.

“Ah, there you go again,” he muses, snapping you out of your haze, “Maybe if you ask real pretty for me, I’ll give you just what you want.”

“Please,” you immediately gasp, “Want you so much Hajime, i-it hurts. Can’t stop thinkin’ about you…”

“It hurts?” he huffs, finally reaching up to pull his shirt off, leaving you to ogle his pecs and defined abs, which flex as he works on removing his jeans, “Needy little cunt hurts ‘cause you don’t have a nice, fat cock stuffing it full? Such a dramatic little baby. I just know your phone is full of some little college boys’ numbers...why don’t you give them a call?”

You shake your head, “Don’t want them! I just know they’re not as good as you, Hajime, please...please make me cum, I'll do anything?”

“Aw, those idiot little boys don’t know how to make a pretty girl like you cum, is that it?” he asks, climbing onto the bed, making the mattress dip beneath you as he slots himself between your thighs.

“No,” you pout, letting him spread your legs, hands under your knees to open you up to his greedy gaze.

“So compliant with me, you just need a real man to get you off, huh?” he smiles when you nod, “Don’t worry, I’ll take real good care of you.”

Oh, you knew. Just from the way he moved his hips against yours, parting your folds so the head of his cock glided from your clenching little hole, dragging your slick up to your clit -- you just knew that he knew what he was doing.

As you looked between your legs, you felt yourself gush at the sight. His cock was so big, long and fat, drooling precum over your slick little slit, making a mess. He wrapped his fist around his length, making you whimper as his fingers couldn’t even wrap around the girth of him. He slapped his cock against your cunt, groaning at the strings of your slick that clung to him.

“Such a messy cunt,” he sighs, making sure to spank your clit with the head of his cock, laughing breathlessly when your thighs jumped in response to the sudden stimulation, “So fucking eager for me, aren’t you?”

“Uhuh,” you sigh, arching your hips, “Want you to fuck, please, Hajime, need it so bad.”

Much to your dismay, he shakes his head, “Can’t just put it in, pretty baby,” the pet name makes you whimper, “It’ll hurt too much, want you to feel good, yeah?”

“I can handle it,” you breathlessly reassure, canting his hips upward once more to drag your clit against that ridge on the crown of his cock, “Jus’ put it in…”

He doesn’t respond this time but still makes no move to put his cock inside. You’re distracted, however, by the way he now focuses on playing with your clit. Using his cock, he drags the underside across the hard little bud, slaps it once with the tip and before you know it your body is seizing up and you cum.

You let out a string of curses, falling limp against the bed as he works you through the quick high.

“See, that was so easy,” he chuckles, “Those stupid little boys you’ve been letting screw you have no idea what they’re doing, do they? Little cunts so sensitive, I barely even had to do anything to make you cum.”

You’re still trembling when you come down, licking your lips as you give him a dopey little smile and a nod at his cooing. He can’t resist leaning down, and pressing his lips against yours almost desperately. You wrap your arms around his neck, holding him in a deep kiss while his hand finds its way between your legs, two fingers sliding easily into your slick little cunt.

You moan into his mouth, “Hajime ah! ...please, make me cum again.”

“Fuck, you’re so desperate for me,” he hisses through his teeth, “Clenching around my fingers so tight. If I crook my fingers...right here...I bet you’ll just…”

As if on cue, his fingertips hook on your g-spot and you squeal, legs kicking out as you gush around his fingers. He bites his lip and continues to fuck his fingers against that spot, watching your eyes roll back, mouth falling open in a silent cry as you cum for the second time in mere minutes.

“Y-You’re so good, Hajime…” you praise softly, “Fuck, please, give me your cock now!”

He laughs and sits up properly again, pulling his fingers from your cunt. He examines them for a second, slick with your cum and streaks of cream covering the digits before he pops them into his mouth with a moan, savoring the taste of you.

“Alright, baby,” he sighs after pulling out his fingers with a pop!. He grips you beneath the knees again and scoots closer until his tip prods at your entrance. You shudder at the feeling, “Relax for me, pretty girl, let me in…”

Iwaizumi begins pushing in, letting out a soft groan as the head finally buries itself in your cunt. You squeal at the feeling, pulling your knees closer to your chest. The sound of you moaning and whimpering just from his head has him throbbing almost painfully against your tender cunt.

“Almost there…” he huffs, grinning at the sight of your eyes rolling back, “Ah, does that feel good?”

“Yes!” you cry out, “Biggest cock I’ve ever had…’s full…”

“Yeah, baby? It feels so good to finally get your cunt filled with a nice, big cock huh?” he laughs when you nod eagerly, “It’s alright, baby. You won’t have to deal with any mediocre college boys anymore, yeah? This cock’s all yours now…you hear that? All yours.”

Your hand flies down between your legs, finding your clit. He watches with lidded eyes as you circle the little bud and squeal, keeping his hips still to let you cum around his cock nice and hard like you need.

“That’s it, pretty girl,” he hums, “Get yourself off, you know what you need...atta girl…”

You sigh happily at his praise, licking your lips and relax against the bed once more. He takes that as his hint that you were ready, pulling his hips back before roughly slamming back inside your sensitive cunt. It knocks the air from your lungs and you cry out, unable to hold back your noises as he fucks you senseless.

He uses his strength to keep you pinned, forcing your knees against your chest, leaving your cunt open and vulnerable to his pistoning cock. Iwaizumi is so big that the stretch burns every time he sinks back into you, the tip touching your cervix with every calculated thrust, making your entire body ache with the deep pain of it.

But it all feels so good, you’d never been fucked like that before. He knew exactly where to aim his cock, keeping his eyes fixed on your face to watch your reactions, gaze flicking down to where his cock stuffs your cunt full to watch you coat him in your cream whenever he grazes that sweet little spot deep inside you -- a spot no other man had ever tried to find before.

“Feel good?” he questions, though he knew the answer even before you cry it out.

“Ah, yes! Yes, yes, yes!” you sob, “I-It feels so good, Hajime! Fuck, you’re so good at fucking me! You make me feel like a virgin all over again!”

He grins, “Yeah, I know I am, baby.”

His cocky, confident response would have been a turn off with any other man, but with him -- it only made you moan. He had every right to be cocky, he knew just how to use his cock and it was exhilarating.

“You gotta cum again for me, pretty,” he pants, “Cum again, one more time, let go.”

Your throat burns from how much you scream for him, the messy noises coming from him fucking your sloppy cunt should be embarrassing -- you’ve never made such a mess before. You’ve never been so wet, creaming and gushing all the way down his balls.

He didn’t seem to mind, instead he seemed to only be turned on by it.

“I want you to squirt, can you do that for me? Make a pretty mess for me.”

You shake your head, “D-Don’t know how...Can’t.”

“Yes you can, baby,” he purrs, “I can make you, you know that I will.”

You didn’t but, you couldn’t help but nod -- immediately believing him and trusting him. He shifts his knees just slightly, changing his center of balance before his palm curls over your pubic bone, thumb effortlessly finding itself pressed against your clit.

The change in angle lets him hit your g-spot even more brutal than before. You’re immediately arching and crying out for him, eyes rolling back into your head as you feel your orgasm slam into you faster than you’d ever experienced.

Instead of slowing you down, he works you through it, keeping the same, animalistic pace and keeps his thumb pressed against your clit, the rough pad of his thumb has you ogling. If anything, the calloused hands of Iwaizumi proves to you how much of a real man he is, those college boys have nothing on him.

“Give it to me, c’mon,” he urges, clenching his teeth together from the effort it takes to keep going to this hard and fast pace.

“H-Haji…” you cut yourself off as you feel yourself get thrown over the edge again. This time, something feels different and you can’t help but sob, “Please! I-I’m gonna-!”

“That’s it, fuck!” he moans, pace stuttering when you squirt -- your cum splashing against his abs as you shudder and squeal, “Good fuckin’ girl, my good girl. Shit, where do you want me to cum?”

“I-Inside! Fuck, please! I need your cum!” you immediately sob, nails biting in his biceps where you reach out to grip him -- trembling and crying from overstimulation as he works towards his own high.

“You sure? Shit,” you nod, breathless pleas falling from your lips as he finally stills, spilling his load deep inside with a long, drawn-out groan.

Everything is still for a moment and then he’s pulling out with a hiss. You whine at the feeling of your cunt gaping, yearning for his cock again, as his cum leaks out.

He hums, “Sorry about that, let me get you cleaned up.”

You sigh, and close your eyes, trying to relax and let your body settle its trembling. He comes back and quietly works on cleaning the mess between your thighs.

“Alright, up you go,” he sighs, taking your arm and helping you to your feet. You whine and wobble for a second, making him laugh, “You good?”

“Y-Yeah…” you stumble a bit and lean against his dresser, looking for your discarded clothes.

He has his back to you as he strips his sheets. Suddenly, you feel shut out -- like you shouldn’t be there anymore.

He brushes past you to his closet, pulling out some fresh sheets. You feel silly, standing there naked while he gets ready for bed. You bend down and grab your panties, clumsily putting them on before moving to pick up your dress, where it’s crumpled on the floor.

“What’re you doing?” he laughs, “That won’t be comfortable to sleep in.”

“Huh?” you tilt your head to the side and he pauses fluffing his pillows.

“What...you didn’t think I was kicking you out, did you?” he asks and scoffs at the face you make.

“Well I...usually I…” you shift on your feet nervously and he frowns, walking up to you.

He cups your cheeks and makes you look at him, “Jesus, who have you been fucking?” he laughs and gently nudges you towards the bed, “Lay down before you fall over.”

Fighting back a smile, you do as you’re told and sit on the bed, watching as he puts on a fresh pair of sweats, waiting for him to join you. When he does, he immediately pulls you into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“Take a nap, and then we’ll take a shower.”

“It’s 11 at night, it wouldn’t be a nap,” you counter with a giggle.

“Well,” he sighs, “Take a shower in the morning then, and then we can go get breakfast, yeah?”

You smile and relax against him, “Sounds good.”

#haikyuu smut #hq smut #iwaizumi smut #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime smut #hajime iwaizumi smut #iwaizumi hajime x reader #hajime iwaizumi x reader #afton.writes

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scorchrend · 3 years ago

Note

Hello there please infodump about your blorbos to me, I am willing to know about your blorbos as they sound very fun(I wanna rotate them like the stuff you put in a microwave)

Hi!!!!!!! I'm running to you at full speed. Ok. Ok. Let me introduce. My Blorbo #1.

Euden Dragalia Lost!!

I don't know where to start because I do like being asked specific questions. But. I am skilled. At rambling with no aim. Here we go

euden is my friend he likes cute dragons and he plays the piano and hes been practicing string instruments over the course of the game. his base form tells us he "sounds like hes strangling a cat" but now in his latest alt he says hes gotten really good and wants to put on a concert at some point. he enjoys parties what with the events every two months. hes a normal guy. hes very accepting and when there is a problem, rather than moving to change the person he tries to be accepting of them. he has the fucking weight of the world on his shoulders but hes still so kind. someone get this man a sense of self-preservation. he has a sort of deadpan sassy humor. hes a fucking idiot. hes smart. hes everything. hes nothing. i cant list it all here he is just so important to me.

below readmore is kind of like a dragalia plot synopsis i just kept on typing 💀💀💀 writing this after i finished that i think ive been writing for 2 hours

(written after the readmore: yeah im all talked out for this post but if you have questions i will answer. i want to answer, especially specific questions. it doesnt have to be about euden you can ask me about my other blorbos! )

Euden is the 7th child of Aurelius, the king of Sol Alberia. He is 17 at the beginning of story (about 20 by now since the game's new year events are canonical), and he has a twin sister named Zethia. He is just a regular kind guy. Yknow standard protagonist stuff. This is likely due to him being the self-insert character, what with his name being the player's username. But more on that later.

The Alberian Royalty have dragonblood, meaning they can form pacts with dragons in order to shapeshift into them. You can't succeed the throne if you can't get a pact and shapeshift.

Now Euden over here, he has no interest in the throne. He just wants to enjoy life with his twin sibling and their faerie friend Notte, who they met at childhood. In fact, he's been actively avoiding the Dragon Choosing, so that he wouldn't be in line for the throne and create conflict between him and his siblings.

But unfortunately some shit goes down and the sacred shard (they keep fiends away) in Sol Alberia is weakening, so Euden is tasked to go and get the one from the Mistholt (an old castle in rovetelle forest that was used as the base of the founder king Alberius). You need a dragon to do this. So he goes out, along with Zethia, Notte, and a few friends he picks up on the way, and forms a pact with Midgardsormr, the windwyrm.

This is just turning into a fucking plot synopsis oh my god.

ok whatever. as they exit the mistholt suddenly his dad appears in front of them and hes like "wtf dad didnt u say you were going to the binding ruins" but then something is Very Wrong. Aurelius starts shooting black mana at them and theyre like oh fuck hes been possessed by The Other. The fiend sealed in the binding ruins. lol. uhhhh. long story short the gang loses and oddly the other wants zethia so she goes with him and is warped away and now euden has to go and get her.

i'm skipping over the parts where they chase after zethia and the other but like along this way euden finds out he can have multiple pacts just like the founder king alberius. ok. one of the dragons tried to make euden and his brother emile (6th in line) kill each other but thats a story for emile and not really for euden

Also they met a second zethia some time earlier im too lazy to insert this above but like shes been nudging the party on which way to go

anyways. they make it to the binding ruins and aurelius and zethia are there. theyre fighting!! so euden goes to shield zethia but then aurelius goes like "no!!! wtf are you doing!!!!!!" then theres a cg and BOOM zethia has red eyes shes been possessed by the other. he gets attacked but aurelius shields euden and he fucking dies. (his mana is transferred to his old dragon zodiark :) ) i forgot what was after this. uhhh the second zethia is a projection of mana from another universe and she disappears if she uses too much. but they have to escape so she warps them out then she disappears.

then zethia became the empress and renamed sol alberia into dyrenell because it was the name of the tyrannical empire in the past wow

now euden has no idea wtf to do. then he runs in with valyx (4th) then they fight then he makes his own kingdom from the mistholt— New Alberia.

in between this per chapter there are run ins with eudens other siblings, phares (2nd), leonidas (1st), and chelle (3rd). here comes chapter 10!!!

also its about 1st anniversary! euden is now 18.

anyways they get visions of alberius's fight with the other and apparently he sealed the soul of the other in the royal bloodline with a technique called the blood casket. also the others real name is morsayati. anyways thats why morsayati can body hop. i think they need to be willing but i dont remember

then stuff goes down here and all eudens siblings side with empress zethia so now the story shifts to having to fight all of the siblings.

oh boy. chapter 11 beyond. this is where the writing picks up. it felt like there was a clear change of direction (there WAS a change of direction, literally. the former director stepped down and was replaced by yuji okada from blazegames shoutouts to yuji okada my man) this was very good for euden

anyways in chapter 12 he has a fight with leonidas i know this was important but i fucking forgor

chapter 13. Oh boy. so theres this kid. they help him. he says his name is ed. ok cool. but then the kid starts spouting words. "what if your life was flipped all of a sudden" "what if you werent a royal what would you be"

then it turns out ed is actually the 5th child that none of the siblings ever met. his name is beren.

chapter 14 oh THIS IS MEATY ok theyre finally storming dyrenell. they reach the throne room and. since euden does want his sister first and foremost and is not really in the right headspace he agrees to let morsayati possess him. dude u have a whole kingdom to look after 😭😭😭 whatever. it would be very bad if morsayati possessed him because morsayati would gain access to all of his pactbound dragons. but in comes beren (he can suck black mana for his own power) and mid transfer he just fucking EATS UP morsayati. you had to be there it was hilarious. zethia still on the floor unconscious. they get intercapted by volk one of the agito and uhh idr how this goes but the agito get zethia and go towards north grastaea (alberia is in south) towards grams the holy city. euden and co chase after. (this leaves a power vacuum in dyrenell. the throne ends up with emile)

2nd zethia reappears because the morsayati worldhopping firewall is gone and she joins them. she gets a new name— Zena

CHAPTER 15 this one made me insane. chapter 14 made euden on my blorbo list but this one fucking killed me.

on the path zena gets in close calls but euden goes like "zethia ill protect u" but then zena deals with it just fine and hes like fucking hell euden thats not zethia. she doesnt need you to protect her.

ok so basically the leader of the agito appears. his name is Nedrick (💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 FUCKING NEDRICK 🤣🤣🤣🤣) and hes like ill take zethia. and theyre going to get the dawnshard for themselves (big power) and he claims that he is the REAL 7th scion. He shows them a document with the royal seal on it and it says euden, the 7th scion, died a month after birth, and after some thing with a some person named Finlorda, a new euden replaced the child.

then nedrick shows that the document lights up in the hands of a real royal. he hands it to zethia and valyx to show. nedrick holds it. and it glows. he hands it to euden

euden is like no way i can turn into dragons. multiple even. i have dragonblood! so he takes it. then it stops glowing. then we get. This

(this was in the files for a while but this was the first time it was used. oh my god euden im so sorry but there will be many more times where this will happen.)

then he gets really fucking mad and they fight and nedrick sweeps euden and they have to warp back to the halidom. the mistholts castle. but zethia doesnt go with them. she says she will stay (she has plans but they are not evident at this point) and eudens like Fuck. I failed her again. when they get back he snaps at his friends (this is the first time hes snapped) but apologizes and goes to his room. he stays there the entire day until zena comes in and smacks some therapy in his face and it works. for now. then he apologizes to his friends and asks them if theyd still follow him, even if he wasnt really royalty. they all go like yeaaah

the rest. i am.... not fucking writing that much but

ch 16 rumor gets out that euden is possessed by the other. he gets turned on by his citizens until leonidas shows up after their fight in ch12 and a character development and fixes everything and gives rations and shit and he handles the castle while euden goes to north alberia to find the truth about himself and meet finlorda who turns out to be the faerie king

ch 18 theres like. mirage and distortion snowy mountains. and euden has visions of his friends abandoning him and his citizens turning on him. he has to be snapped out of it by his sylvan (rabbit ear people) friend Luca and luca goes like "this is the first time ive seen you want anything for yourself. and i want to see you get the truth of yourself. so lean on me more" good shit

ch19 hes revealed to be made from the body of morsayati and dragonblood. then a perfect copy of the dead euden's (now nedrick) soul. this fucks him up good but he deals with it normally now. he goes out into the woods and like. processes it. also mascula and laxi reassure him at the end of the chapter (androids they met in ch11, they share laxi's body)

i have run out of energy but now euden has come to terms with the fact that he isnt the original euden and embraces it to some extent. uhh. and in the newest event where they face off against true bahamut the creator of the world he has this powered up form thats literally made from friendship. its the cheesiest shit ever but dragalia makes it so cool not joking i love it so much. im skimming over that because the event is still on

#text #dragalia lost #ask #euden #Very Very Long Read More. I am warning you.#save #important post bc i took wayy too fucking long on this #begging readers to look up euden dragalia lost

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rommahh · 3 years ago

Text

I Carry Your Heart

Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 4k

{Ahhhh ok so this is my first work like ever. There will definitely be a second part because ive got more to say and it needs a second part. I hope whoever sees and reads this imagine enjoys it. I appreciate comments, likes, reblogs, ideas on what could go into the story, and any form of help and redirection as to how i should write things. Much love, R.}.

Part two

All Y/N wanted tonight was to hang out with her boyfriend, eat a mass amount of junk food, and watch a marvel movie or two. That was all she wanted and that was all she asked of her boyfriend. Instead of any of that happening, she found herself sitting on the nasty kitchen island of her boyfriend's frat at a party that she was trying to avoid going to.

This party was supposedly ‘the party of the year.’ The last rager before finals and then christmas break. Y/N had spent the whole week studying and finishing up end of semester projects hence the want for a chill night. When Harry came to her saying his frat was throwing a party tonight and that he just HAD to be here, Y/N didn't feel like she had a choice but to let him go. She came because she thought this would be the only time she would be able to have some time with Harry after a long week of barely seeing each other. With two vastly different majors, the couple wasnt able to find a lot of time in the middle of school work to make time for just the two of them. Obviously her hopes of quality time with her man were futile because here she was sitting by herself in the kitchen of the frat while Harry drank and got high with his friends in other parts of the house.

Of course she was disappointed. She felt a knot in her throat and a weight on her chest just sitting there in that kitchen. Her white claw was warm now- not that it was any cold when she opened it. She was starting to form a small headache from the too loud music and the ache in her heart was growing.

She stood from the countertop on the search for her boyfriend, hoping he wasn't too far gone from sober. Wiping the back of her jeans from anything that was left on the island, she began walking around the house. She doesn't remember the last time the two of them spent time together by themselves. Of course they occasionally ate dinner together in the dining hall but they were normally surrounded by friends. Y/N wanted to be alone with her boyfriend to talk and bask in his presence.

After pushing through groups of partying humans, she found Harry and at least ten other people sitting around playing some sort of drinking game.

“Y/N! Where have you been?” Luca, one of Harry's frat brothers yelled out to her from the circle. Luca was cool, he was one of the only tolerable boys in this frat aside from Harry. Hearing his girlfriend's name, Harry turned around from where he sat on the ground and reached out for his girlfriend to sit beside him. Much to Y/N’s dismay, Harry was wasted. His eyes were half mass and his words bumped and slurred together. “We are playing truth or dare, wanna play?” Luca asked.

“I don't wanna play but Ill sit and watch.” Sitting next to her boyfriend, she grabbed one of his hands holding it in her lap. She was annoyed at him but it did her no good to show it when he was this drunk.

This game of truth or dare was childish. Dares of licking people's shoes and taking multiple shots had been done and truths about money and relationships were being spilled among the group. It had finally become Harry’s turn to do something, making Y/N tense.

“Ok Harry, I dare you to…” One drunk frat boy started looking around the room trying to come up with something clever. His eyes landed on a pretty girl in the room, Yara, a stuck up girl who for sure got her way no matter what. “I dare you to kiss the hottest girl in the room- obviously not your girlfriend because that defeats the purpose.” The frat boy smirked knowing what his intentions were. Everyone in the group giggles and gasped shocked by the dare but ready to see what was going to go down. Y/N’s brows furrowed as she became angry with the stupid dare.

The ache in her chest seemed to tip over the edge when she felt her boyfriend in the room move to stand up. She grabbed at the bottom of his shirt as a way of stopping him. Harry halted his movements to look down at his girlfriend. He giggled a little.

“You’re not actually going to do this right?” She asked Harry with wide eyes of shock. Harry laughed at her like she made a joke, making her heart hurt even more.”Harry I do not want you to do this just take the shot and lose the dare.” Her tone held warning.

“Don't be silly of course I'm going to. It's just a dare, nothing serious. Don't be so clingy.” He stood walking over to Yara and planted a wet kiss on her mouth. Yara gripped Harry’s shirt and kissed him harder. The kiss went on for a few more seconds, the room absolutely silent out of shock. Harry stepped back from Yara slightly sobering up from his actions. Yara smirked at Y/N, hand gliding down the front of Harry's shirt.

Y/N stood from the seat she was in and scoffed. Scoffed because she should've known Harry would do something like this. Scoffed because it hurt to see her boyfriend do something so careless without any regard for his girl's feelings. She pulled herself together, feeling her throat tighten once again. She was quick to leave the room and down the hall of the frat.

Harry's clumsy steps could be heard from behind her as he mumbled her name. Or at least he tried to. He was still so out of it, his words not making much sense. Y/N was crying now, the strength that she had slowly dissolving as she walked further away from her boyfriend.

“Y/N wait. P-please wait. I cant-” Harry stumbled over his legs behind her falling into the grass of the front yard. The girl couldn't help but turn around looking at her stupid boyfriend. She was choking on sobs now. She wasn't crying over a measly little kiss but over an extreme amount of burnout from school and exhaustion from simply existing. She was crying because her boyfriend ignored her boundaries, crushing and erasing the boundaries she had set in their relationship. Harry tried reaching for her once she had stopped walking. His hand clasped around her wrist, he laid his head down on her shoulder. He hated seeing her cry even if he was too drunk to see why.

“Baby don't leave, Im-Im Sorry.” He hiccuped and burped due to the alcohol. Y/N felt her rage build. Shoving Harry off of her, she crossed her arms across her chest as a way to shield herself from Harry physically. He was hurt by her distance and the wall she put up around her.

“You're an idiot Harry. An idiot!” her sobs grew louder, some stray party goers watching in amusement- some even snapchatting it for shits and giggles. “I didnt want you to kiss her and you did. What provoked you to think that was ok? All I wanted was for us to hang out tonight and just be us and you did this!” She was yelling now. Her hurt is beyond her now. Anger and rage simmered throughout her body making her head dizzy and her fingers curl within themselves. She didnt like being angry. It wasn't an emotion she liked acting on, it felt impersonal.

“Baby I don't under-” Before Harry could finish his sentence he was barfing at his feet. Y/N stepped back disgusted with her boyfriend. She couldn't even feel remorseful because of how angry she was. Luca, the frat brother from earlier, caught up with Harry and his girl only to find Harry doubled over heaving. Luca wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders.

“I'm sorry Luca but I can't do this tonight. Can you please make sure he gets some water and goes to bed. I-I can't do it tonight, I wish I could but I can't.” Y/N didn't want to leave her boyfriend in this state but she didn't deserve this. She wasn't going to care for her drunk boyfriend when all she wanted to do was care for herself. Selfishly, she enjoyed seeing him this way because of the anger he caused her.

Luca shook his head in understandment. “Of course, I'm really sorry for tonight. He's going to seriously regret this in the morning, especially since it will be circulating all over snapchat in the morning.” Luca waved to Y/N then proceeded to pull Harry into the house. Harry called out for Y/N not wanting to be away from her but Luca pulled him harder.

Harry woke up the next morning feeling like the bottom of a dumpster. He wasn't shocked by that. He knew he got trashed last night, he had planned to. He, just like Y/N, spent all week studying and completing projects while also fulfilling certain responsibilities for his frat. He wanted one night to be a normal teen. So he drank and drank and drank and maybe even smoked some weed. As he tried to recall last night's events he came up with nothing. He didn't understand why Y/N wasn't here with him like she normally would after a party on the weekend. They were normally always together during the weekend. A bad feeling loomed over him. He could tell something wasn't right but decided to put his feelings to the side.

He saw a bottle of water beside his bed making him think she was probably here and left early. Chugging the water he started to go through his socials to see if anyone had posted about the party. He had multiple tagged pics and videos in his notifications from snapchat. Way more than he normally would.

The first video he saw was a video of him and Y/N standing in the front yard of the frat house. Turning the volume all the way up he could hear Y/N yelling, it shocked him. She doesn't normally raise her voice, especially not at him. The angle changed showing her face which was red with anger, eyes filled with unshed tears. He could hear her yelling about him kissing someone else. He felt his heart stop. He had kissed someone else? On the next snap was a picture of him keeled over vomiting on his shoes with the caption saying, ‘are yall seeing this shit?’ Harry was embarrassed but he was more concerned than anything.

His head was hurting but it didn't stop him from rolling out of bed, washing up, and putting on a fresh set of clothes. He checked his phone hoping Y/N had messaged him but nothing was there. He walked into the kitchen only to see luca sitting at the counter eating cereal.

“Hey Harry….” Luca said warily. Luca pushed the cereal around his bowl feeling the tension begin to rise in the room. He felt horrible about his friends.

“Luca...what's up?” Harry was confused by Lucas' wariness.

“So do you remember anything about last night?” Luca asked, setting his cereal down in the sink behind him. Harry started playing with the frayed edges of a bracelet Y/N made for him. It had little beads with her name on it. They made them together at an event on campus.

“I don't, I only saw the videos of Y/N screaming at me. I think I fucked up but I- I don't know what happened.” Harry's cheek flushed with even more embarrassment. Luca awkwardly chuckled scratching the back of his neck.

“You got dared to kiss the hottest girl in the room and um actually did it in front of Y/N...even though she didn't want you to. Which led you guys outside and yeah you know the rest...Im sorry dude, I wish I had stopped you.”

“Who- who did I kiss?” Harrys stomach lurched when he heard Yara’s name come out of Lucas' name. Y/N didn't like Yara and it was understandable. Yara has been pining after Harry since their first year of college. Harry couldn't breathe. He felt disgusted with himself. He could only imagine how Y/N was feeling.

Y/N woke up the same morning, eyes puffy and crusty from tears and head hurting. She probably cried herself into dehydration. She was lucky enough to have no roommate because she wouldn't have wanted someone else to see her breakdown. She still couldn't believe last night went down the way it went down. She couldn't tell if she was just being overdramatic or if her emotions were in the right place. She didn't want to be mad at Harry. He was everything to her, she had an odd connection to him. Meeting him during their freshman welcome week they quickly became best friends with a growing romantic connection in the mix. They started dating before Christmas break. They had grown close so fast that he even came home with her to meet her family for the first few days of break. Even though they were in their junior year of college, Y/N could see them beyond college. She's imagined them getting married, travelling, sharing a home. She saw the whole future with him. She had her doubts though. He was immature just like every other boy in college. He was dumb with his actions and tended to only do things if they benefited him. He had a lot of growing to do as a person, so did she but she wanted to grow with him.

She heard a knock on her door hesitating to answer it because one, it could be Harry, and two, she looked like a wreck. Answering anyways, she was met with a very sorry looking Harry holding a small coffee and bagel from their cafe.

“Hi baby…” He sheepishly said holding out the items. She silently let him through the door not once looking him in the eye. He stepped into her room, setting her treats on her desk. He could see that her bed was messy meaning she recently woke up. Y/N never went about her day without making her bed. He turned back to her and finally their eyes met. He took in all of her facial features, from her puffy eyes, to her downturned lips that looked chapped, to her flushed cheeks that longed to be held for warmth. He hated to see her like this, the last time he saw her so upset was when her parents moved out of her childhood home. It took alot to make Y/N this upset. She was normally really headstrong and vigilant. She knew how to ease her way out of problematic situations and could talk her way through anything.

Harry opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Y/N holding her hand up in front of his face. “Don't talk. I'm really hurt Harry, so if your plan was to come over here and apologize over bagels- think again.” She snapped, backing up to put space between the two of them. She sat down on her bed while Harry pulled the desk chair out and sat down. He much preferred to be on the bed with her holding her tight but he didn't want to overstep boundaries.

“Love, I don't know where to begin. I'm really sorry for what happened last night. I was really drunk and obviously wasn't in the right headspace.” Harry reached out and touched the tips of her fingers with his. She wanted to move but it felt good to be touched by Harry.

“I told you that a measly little apology won't do Harry. I didn't want you to kiss Yara and you did anyway. You know how Yara feels about you and you just let it happen!” She pulled her hand away remembering the prior night's events. Harry felt himself getting angry too. He felt like he needed to defend himself- even though it would be a very bad idea.

“I think you're being over dramatic.” Wrong move Harry. “It wasn't like I was making out with her!”

“You're joking right?” She scoffed and scooted further up her bed to create more distance. “Harry it's the simple fact that you did something that made me uncomfortable that shouldn't have even happened. I see myself getting married to you and it makes me worry that right now in our relationship you can't respect my boundaries!” She yelled. Harry’s eyes widened as he laughed sarcastically.

“Married? What the fuck are you on about? I'm a junior in college. In what world would it make sense for me to be prepping a relationship for marriage? Once again I think you're being over dramatic.” Her eyes watered hearing Harry's statement.

“I- I guess I'm the only one in this relationship thinking about the future? I thought we were on the same page. I'm not planning our marriage now, obviously. I'm thinking about how elements of our relationship now could play out in the future when we do want to get married. You cheated on me last night. I went to a party you begged ME to go to only to be there for you. I wanted to be here cuddling with you, pigging out on fast food but I was at a party with you and got cheated on!” Her volume rises once again, making Harry shove his chair from underneath him when he stands up.

“You're doing too much right now. I'm not planning a future right now because I don't want this future! I want to be myself without thinking about how to appease my girlfriend. I invited you to the party so you could lighten the fuck up. I love you, I do, but I'm not thinking of marriage and futures. I'm thinking about my life right now and having fun.” Harry snapped right back at her. Her chin wobbled. Obviously her and Harry were on different pages. It hurt so much to hear him say that he didn't want a future with her. Harry didn't mean it though.

“Ok, well I guess that's my fault for assuming we were thinking along the same lines. Um, I don't want to hold you back from being yourself so with that being said, you are a free man Harry.” She pushed herself up from her bed walking to the door ready to escort Harry out.

“Huh? Love, what?” Harry was confused on how they got to this point. Just a few days ago they were in love, meeting in the library to share a lunch and exchanging sweet words determined by their love.

“Listen I have a day full of exams tomorrow so if you could just leave that would be best. You don't really want this so I'm letting you go, Harry.” She had tears rolling down her face, falling from her eyes down to her chin where they fell to the ground in droplets. Harry’s eyes welled up watching his love cry before him.

“I don't-”

“Harry, leave, please.” She opened the door making room for him to go through. He walked through the door turning to look at her. She turned her face away from him whispering a small goodbye before shutting the door. Harry was left in the silent hallway, so silent he could hear his thoughts and the tears hitting the tile floor beneath him. He thinks he stood there for at least thirty more minutes before accepting what had happened and walking away.

Leaving Y/N in her room sobbing like she had never done before. Her tears coated her face and she thought her head could explode right then and there. She didn't want to accept what had happened but she had priorities. She composed herself enough to start studying for her exams.

The week rolled by quickly, Monday meeting Friday in a flash. Exams were done and Christmas break was on the horizon. Students were piling off of campus in a hurry ready to get home to their loved ones. People were outside by cars loading up their winter necessaries and saying their goodbyes to their close friends.

Harry cried everyday this week. He wasn't normally a crier. He hated crying, he hated the feeling of crying and the headache that came from it. He cried because he realized how wrong he was. He missed Y/N. He missed finals week dinner together where they tried to get off campus at least once and be alone for a moment. He missed watching her relax while eating food that wasn't from their school's cafeteria. He would pay for their meal just so she could have one less thing to worry about. They would normally get frozen yogurt right after too, Y/N getting as many toppings as she wanted because Harry would be the one paying. He missed her tight after exam hugs. She would squeeze his shoulders tight, smiling into his neck, telling him how proud she was of him. She would bring him tea in the morning when they met for breakfast. Sometimes they would spend the night in one or the others room so they could have time together to destress and just talk.

Y/N wasn't doing any better. She normally went into exam week feeling confident. She studied too hard not to. But this week she felt like shit. Her heart hurt and she kept thinking about the fight. She feels like she overreacted but hearing Harry talk about their lack of a future hurt nonetheless. She really assumed that they did have a future that included marriage and a life together. She didn't understand where his sudden lack of commitment came from. She regretted dumping him but at the same time she wished he did more to get them back together but he was silent. He hasn't contacted her at all and avoided all of their spots on campus all together.

She stood by her car prepping for her six hours car ride back home. Packing away her clothes and some essentials in the trunk of her car, she heard light footsteps behind her. Closing her trunk she turned to see Harry standing with his hands in his pockets.

“Hi.” He said. She looked at him, putting her own hands in her pockets. It was cold outside, the nippy air hinting at a possibility of snow.

“Hi Harry.” They shared a moment of silence together. Just staring at each other. It felt good to be near each other again. They felt like they could breathe again.

“I had to see you before you left. I know the break is only a month but I didn't want to leave without seeing you.” He replied quietly. She made him feel so shy. Her beauty always made him awestruck. Even in a hoodie with their college's logo and some large sweatpants and some fuzzy crocs, she was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

“I don't know what to say harry.”

“It's ok. I don't deserve anything from you after what I said. I just wanted to apologize and wish you a good break before you left. I also wanted to give you this.” He pulled a small box and envelope out of the front pocket of his backpack. “I know we agreed on no presents but I think thats a dumb rule and I love you too much to not get you something.” She smiled at his words, taking the gift from his hands.

“Thank you Harry, it means a lot to me. So what are your plans for a break?” She asked him, the tension that was in the air slowly dissipating.

“I couldn't get a flight home until next wednesday so i'll stay here on campus until then.” He shrugged.

“Oh ok. Well tell Anne I said hi. I have to go Harry but I'll see you after the break, ok?” She didn't want to leave him but she didn't want to drive through the dark.

“Ok, love. Drive safe. I lov- I mean have a good break.” Her chest tightened at his hesitation. She wants to hear him say the words but she knows he won't.

“Have a good break Harry.” She whispered. Before getting in her car she stood on her toes placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Rubbing her thumb across his cheek and turning away and into her car.

She drove away knowing that her heart was left in that parking lot in the hands of someone she loves way too much.

Harry stood in the parking lot watching his heart drive away for winter wanting nothing more than to be with her.

Part two

#harry styles x reader #frat!harry #i carry your heart #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles x y/n #college!harry #part 2 coming soon #harry styles smut #fratrry #boyfriend!harry

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ithinkthereforeidread · 3 years ago

Text

the collected poems of todd anderson

christmas day of 1959.

ao3 link here

He knew this day would come. He’s been dreading it, sure, he’d never really enjoyed Christmas much beforehand, his multiple unopened desk sets epitomised such. At his house, fires weren’t warm, hugs were stiff and silence was punctured by the sounds of laughing children in the house next door. It’d always been this way for the Anderson family. Todd grew to accept it.

But this year was supposed to be different.

He was supposed to spend his Christmas at Welton, with all the Dead Poets.

Usually, the boys would go home to their families for Christmas, but through the efforts of Neil he assembled a complex string of falsities about a gargantuan Latin group project that all the Dead Poets needed to finish.

“Serious business, I care about my education father, why else would have you sent me here?” said Neil over the phone, holding his index finger to his mouth to silence Todd from his chuckling, although all Todd really saw was the wide grin that hid behind it, and the way Neil’s eyes crinkled up all the way, a complete oxymoronic action when Neil was usually on the phone to his father. Todd stifles back laughter and Neil smacks him lightly, only causing him to laugh more.

“Well, that was quicker AND easier than I expected...” Neil states after placing the phone back on it’s cradle and ending the call. “But hey!” Neil squeaks, “We’re all spending Christmas together! The biggest concern was just getting my father to agree, everyone else’s parents seemed fine with it.”

Todd and Neil start to walk, side by side, Neil bumps him playfully. “I’m so glad you told me, Todd.” Neil turns his head and looks towards the shorter boy. “My Christmases at home aren’t that great either, I’ve always wanted to spend them here, but I could never work up the courage to ask my father, ask Charlie, in our first year he almost called up my father himself. It was hilarious, he had to look up at the phone, he was so short.”

“You and Charlie have been friends for ages then?” Todd queries “Oh yeah, we met in our last year of preparatory school, he was a pretty mischievous kid, obviously not much has changed.” Neil laughs, “he was just always so confident and sure of himself… I always wanted to be like that, nothing ever got to him.”

“Has that changed?” Todd’s questions were always short and straight to the point. Startling upfrontness in the most unexpected of moments. It was something Todd was known for.

“Not really… I mean, I try to get him to open up… he just isn’t an emotions type of person, I think?” Neil scratches the back of his head. “During our 9th year he went through something really big and not great, but he didn’t tell me a single word about it. To this day I have no idea wahat happened. I tried asking but it didn’t lead anywhere… all I know is some kid had been expelled but it didn’t look like him and Charlie fought or anything because they spent so much time together ....” Neil trails off.

“You know people stare at us sometimes.” Todd blankly states, an unconscious switch being flicked immediately. “When we’re walking to classes, when we go into our dorm, when we exchange smiles in classes… They bump their friends with their shoulders and snicker under their breaths… Have you noticed that Neil?”

Neil’s walking pace slows slightly, “Uh… no, I-uh I didn’t… Do they think we’re-“ “-Maybe.” Todd interrupts before Neil can say The Word. “Bu-but we aren’t, I mean, you were talking about that girl from-“ “-Yeah! Ginny, from the play, wow, I mean, she’s just great.” “Yeah, I’m sure she is.”

God.

This got awkward.

Nice one Todd.

Did it again.

Ink splatters dried on the paper he cradled so delicately, he stares at the contents once more.

“what wouldn't i give to love myself as feverishly as I love you? what is the opposite of amnesia? that is what you are. sometimes i cant find my way around my memories. i have to take detours… i think you were the best one.

little fragments of joy pepper my vacancy i didn't know that i should want to be hopeful or that being hopeful meant giving up some intrinsic part of me.

last night i had a dream that we were breathing underwater flying high in the sky, arms outstretched, laughing, smiling, hugging, bodies pressed onto one another. it didn’t last long. piece by wretched, fragile piece i throw out every hated qualm of thee your impenetrable stare fixed onto me

i have hoped for love that is beyond you being caught by me or me trying to slip through the cracks. they read me, you, us, with their glacial eyes and think they know but they don't

and it seems neither do we.”

“Wow, Todd. This is so… different. But good! It’s just, I’ve never seen anything like this in our English class, in the poems we’ve studied… I just… wow.” Neil looks up at Todd, eyes so soft, Neil knows how big of a deal this is to Todd. He doesn’t just share his work with anyone.

“I-I’m glad you liked it.” Todd smiles, it’s almost as if he’s had to completely remove himself from himself in order to let Neil observe and compliment this part of him, he takes the page out of Neil’s hands and places it in his book. “What-er, who was it about?” Neil gingerly queries. “I- uh, well.” Todd’s heating up now, he should’ve expected Neil to ask him this question. Dammit. Why was he so stupid for letting him read it. “Well, I-I don’t think you necessarily have to go through something to write a-about it, it-it’s fiction for a reason.”

Neil’s lips downturn slightly, “I guess, but everything that we produce in art- whether that be acting, or poetry writing, painting- whatever… it… subconsciously shows something that you might not necessarily want to show or see, right? Like how Keating got us the other day to choose a poem we liked and recite it… It tells you so much about a person. When Charlie was reading his poem… wasn't all you could think about was how bleak it was?” Neil continues, “The academically and poetically rigorous selection made by Cameron or Knox’s complete devotion and enamoration with the simplest emotion of the human being, love? We hide these parts of ourselves, maybe we view them as flaws and faults of our cognitive machine, but art reveals them all.” Neil delivered a love poem to the class himself. He takes a big breath and lets the words he just spoke sit in the air of their dorm for a while.

“Into the meadows dawn..” Todd clicks his fingers, a vague ritual to jog his memory. “flashes my faun.” Todd recites “O Hunter, snare me his shadow… O Nightingale catch me his strain. Else moonstruck with music and madness, I track him in vain” all they’re doing is staring at each other.

“You- you remembered my poem?” Neil questions. “Yeah- I went to the library after you said it- wanted to see if there was more… Oscar Wilde…” “Yeah.” “I notice them staring now that you mentioned it.” Neil breaks the trajectory of the conversation, “God, they’re all so stupid, it’s as if Judy Garland and President Eisenhower just strutted into the school, arms interlocked!” Todd chuckles. Then more silence.

“Has anything changed, Neil?” “What do you mean?” “Between us. What this is. Our comradely bond, as Keating puts it.” Todd chuckles, “ Our co-dependence, attachment at the hip.”

More silence…

“I-I think…” Neil finally states, “that it was never anything it wasn’t already… perhaps we ignored it, suppressed the feeling… but… it was always there.”

“For me, at least.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

~~~

The wind pierced Todd’s skin in tiny microscopic ways, embedding itself under the protection of his coat and completely evading the rest of his physical form, though perhaps the wind wasn’t the cause of the spine-curdling ache he felt, but simply an additional symptom.

Bells rang, green and red Christmas themed paraphernalia adorned the streets he’d previously been driving through, staring out the window at lights and snow that trickled onto an already naturally bleached layer of the ground. His footprints leave indents and obtain a slippery consistency to the outer sole and toe cap. He treads more carefully.

His hands clutch the leather cover of the journal he is hiding underneath his jacket, minimising any further damage that may soon come its way, finally, through minutes of soul-searching and carefully treading through stones and flowers, he makes his way to Neil.

He looks at him with a certain sense of fragility, his stone head protruding from the ground and covered in snow. Todd wipes some away to see the carvings made into him. His full name. Aged 17. Dutiful son of Tom and Susan Perry.

The newness of it all sends a pang to Todd’s stomach as he looks at the other stones weathered with age and the constant bombardment of the elements. That’ll be Neil one day. Flowers not fresh and carvings unreadable. Forgotten to the world and all its inhabitants, rotting in satin lining and cherry oak wood. Todd stifles back a sob and covers his mouth, forcing himself to get it together for just this moment.

“Merry Christmas Neil.” Todd whispers, the words can barely come out. “You-you’re not here physically but you’re here with me, and Charlie, and-and all the other Dead Poets.” he continues, “though- though Charlie isn’t here technically either. He left. Had to. He’s not graduating, at least he’s not at Welton” Todd looks down, brushes his emerging tears away with his shoulder

“I just wanted to come here and give you your gift, I’ve had it in the making for a while now, you’ve seen some of it already. I wish I could’ve given it to you earlier… if I had known this would happen.” he pulls out the journal, and opens it up.

“Here, I’ll read you some.” Todd, though already cold and miserable, situates himself next to Neil’s cold headstone and leans his head on it, opening the journal's contents to its first page.

“Dear Neil,” Todd’s starts, but adds an offside, “It’s dated on the 7th of a while back, my-my birthday.”

“I hope this book finds you well,” Todd’s breath hitches, “especially considering that I’m probably too anxious to deliver it to you. What you’ll see here is what we spoke about the night we first kissed. About freeing ourselves from any subconscious fear or dichotomous dread of both working with and against the grain or being liked or disliked. The people I look up to the most are inspirationally unpopular. So, here’s a suite of poems by yours truly. Hopefully you’ll find your own meaning and reverence in the words my brain has conjured up, words mostly pertaining to you. Every inch of your being alive has me transfixed and enamoured, and I’m truly gobsmacked on the good deed I must’ve committed to have deserved having you in my life.” Todd’s face is red and stuffy from the cold and his breathing is short and punctured.

“You’re sleeping right near me at this moment, and as a sweaty toothed madman once said. We were together. I forgot the rest. Consider this journal a detachable limb of my own self, something you can always carry around and know that I am with you, always. You can suck the life force, the bone marrow out of the words I have written in here and I would applaud and encourage you to do so. Without you, I have no idea where I’d be right now. I owe you so much Neil, you’ve taught me that sometimes the world can be good. That a person’s smile can brighten an entire room. A performance perfectly acted can be a person’s ultimate achievement and their triumph. You are the word phenomenal incarnate Neil, I hope my words do you some sort of justice.

You deserve the world, Neil. I’m brainstorming ways to give it to you.

With love, Todd.”

——————————————————————————

i hope you guys enjoyed!! its fucking brutal honestly but needed some angst and tragedy in my fictional life to reflect my own.

just a preface that some of the poem todd read's is borrowed from pete wentz old emo livejournal posts because i need to somehow tie my two big interests together and MAN does that man write some gay ass shit. hope your heart doesnt hurt too much <3

creds to @neilscrown on tiktok for posting the headcanon "Todd definitely bought Neil a Christmas present and he never got the chance to give it to him so he would sit in his once shared room and stare at it" it tore my HEART OUT and inspired this rambling

#dead poets society #dead poets #dead poets honour #dead poets fanfiction #anderperry #anderperry fanfic #todd anderson #neil perry #todd and neil

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soupthatistohot · 3 years ago

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Sk8 headcannons because brainrot pt. 2

- everything Reki has ever taught himself has been because of the wonderful world of YouTube tutorials

- Kojiro wanted to get his ears pierced in highschool like Kaoru, but he didn't do it because he was afraid of tarnishing his image (which is ironic when he gets a massive tattoo later in life)

- Langa doesn't like cats because he thinks they're mean

- there’s a stray cat that lives near Langa’s house and even though he doesn’t like cats, he leaves out milk and some fish for it sometimes because he feels bad

- Langa has never had a pet except a goldfish he won at a carnival once that he managed to keep alive for four years somehow.

- Kaoru technically needed glasses in high school, but he didn't wear them because he just didn't care at the time (until his vision grew poor enough that it affected his skating)

- Miya gets called a furry by Reki on the daily

- Reki has some knowledge in video editing and has considered starting a YouTube channel

- Langa has a diary, something he started after his father died. At first he didn't really know what to write, so he would just talk about his day, but eventually he got to the emotions part. The diary was especially useful during his fight with Reki in which he was trying to figure out his emotions (it was also useful when he realized he might have an itty bitty crush on his best friend)

- Joe is the biggest dad friend of the group in terms of doting on the kids and giving advice and stuff. Both Reki and Langa come to him often for advice, and Miya hangs around his restaurant a lot.

- Langa has one (1) succulent that he has managed to keep alive for three years. Its name is Gary, and it may not be the prettiest, but it is not dead yet!

- Reki never tells his mother when Langa is coming over and she's trained herself to just expect a lanky Canadian to be wandering around her house at any time.

- It took Kojiro a really long time to figure out his sexuality (and that's valid!!)

- Hiromi has been hopelessly in love with his manager for three years and has tried on multiple occasions to confess to her, but either something interrupts them or there's some sort of misunderstanding about it. Those are his more violent nights at "S".

- After befriending Reki, Langa and Miya, Hiromi is a little more careful about his tools of sabotage during beefs (and he lowkey feels guilty for injuring Reki in the beginning)

- Kaoru and Reki are actually closer than one might think. Reki ends up asking him for advice just as much as he asks Kojiro.

- Reki can't do something mundane without his ears being occupied. He ends up listening to music or podcasts a lot when he does chores or is working on a board alone (but if Langa is there with him, he'll talk his ear off instead).

- Miya's family isn't particularly bad, they're just a little distant. They assume everything is okay because Miya's so successful with school and skating, and they trust his integrity (which makes it very easy for him to sneak out to "S"). He doesn't really talk to them (or anyone, really) about his struggles.

- When Miya and Koyomi meet, he shows her all his video games and suddenly Reki's little sister is a gamer girl

- Langa almost wore a long-sleeved top to the beach and Reki had to go make him change before they left ("you'll melt in that, are you crazy?!")

- Kojiro knew damn well that Kaoru had a business trip and that the gang was going to the beach, but all other parties were unaware. He just decided to tag along as to not be left out.

- Kaoru trims his own hair, as he finds salons to be ridiculously overpriced for those with long hair

- Reki dogsits for his next door neighbor sometimes, they have a shiba named Onigiri (rice ball).

- Kojiro’s pennant was a gift from Kaoru and he wears it literally all the time except in water (so it doesn’t get ruined)

- Reki’s father is pretty absent, so Oka takes it upon himself to look after him

- Langa occasionally picks up odd jobs in order to help his mom out with finances

- Langa’s favorite animal is dolphins. He had a phase as a child where he read like fifty dolphin books and it was his entire personality for a few months. Despite this, he has never actually seen a dolphin irl

- Reki takes really good care of his nails and Langa… does not. He bites them and it annoys the shit out of Reki to the point where he’s just like “please… just let me file them for you” and Langa relents despite the fact that he hates the sensation of getting his nails filed

- Reki sometimes talks to Langa about getting depressed and one time Langa is like “yeah I getchu” and Reki is just like “heh?” And Langa says “I mean my dad died and I was in counseling for like months after that before I came here” and Reki is just like “oh”

- Langa is Reki’s bi awakening and it takes him a hot second to figure that out

- sometimes Langa pretends to be more oblivious than he is, either for shits and giggles, or to obtain information

- Kaoru knows exactly how to seduce women, and occasionally uses this to his advantage. It just sucks because he’s not into women.

- Reki is super observant, but whenever Langa does something that’s an indication that he likes Reki, he’s just like “WELL MAYBE IM OVERANALYZING THIS CANT BE REAL-”

- Langa (in general) doesn’t feel the need to be super secretive about anything. He’s honest (sometimes brutally so) and doesn’t always think twice before he says something. This can be both good and bad depending on the context.

- Reki doesn’t sleep a lot. He literally has to go to bed past midnight, he absolutely cannot fall asleep earlier. He gets up at 6:30am every day of the week, even weekends. It’s just how he’s programmed.

- Kojiro used to go to the public gym before Kaoru commented about how unsanitary that was. Ever since then he got freaked out about going to public gyms (especially as someone who works in food services) and cancelled his membership. He bought his own equipment and works out on his own now

- Reki knows how to do rainbow loom. His sisters had a phase with it.

- Kojiro drew on himself with pen when he was bored in school.

- Miya has a habit of eavesdropping on conversations he’s not meant to hear

#sk8 the infinity #sk8 anime #sk8 renga #matchablossom #reki kyan #langa hasegawa #miya chinen #higa hiromi #kojiro nanjo #kaoru sakurayashiki #sk8 headcanons #soupshcs

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bokunosoul · 3 years ago

Note

overhaul with a sibling who's a lot like yushiro from demon slayer? how would he react if they were attending ua behind his back? love that there's another demon slayer fan!

Overhaul reacts to brother reader that is like Yushiro from Demon slayer attending UA behind his back

TW : Human trafficking, mentions of blood

So lets set this scene, you are basically Overhaul's brother and you lived under his control you also have no freedom and has no idea what is the outside world is like.

One time you disobeyed you ended up being on the surgerical bed and all day long and he tortured you almost to d̶e̶a̶t̶h̶ he also injected a couple of illegal medicines on you.

You and eri are also in the same boat.He conducted many researches and experiments on both of your bodies and sells the drugs that he made on both of you in the black market.

You are also Eri's caretaker since the day she was brought in the yakuza - mansion.Yoy the one she can rely on the even in hardest times even though when she can't express her feelings well.

You actually also dont know about you and Eri's quirk that much.But your "so called" brother said that it is powerful and they both needed you on his league.

Days, weeks, months passed you had enough and decided to take along Eri with you to escape.You conducted a whole plan to escape.Thankfully your observant and know the basics on how to make an sleeping pill.

Every night your brother commands you to make him food smth like that.You, an pharmaceutical genius ended up drugging him without noticing.

T̶o̶o̶ b̶a̶d̶.He's too sharp.

You ended up running with Eri while Overhaul commands his team to capture you and the scared little girl.

The last thing you know is you and Eri getting surrounded by overhauls underlings.You started fighting back even without knowing what exactly how your quirk works.Blood and several broken bones is the consequences that you received.

Your in the verge of giving up, you were naive and weak as an 12 year old boy protecting an 3 year old girl.

Then suddenly you exploded blood and several human organs surrounded the whole shie-hassaikai base also the scared little girl's screamed echoed throught the base.

But why, why can you still feel your whole body even when your dead.The last thing you knew Eri was taken away and everyone was disposing of your blood and your body.

Your body ended up getting thrown to the river carelessly, your body that has been exploded piece by piece also ended up regenerating and ended up being normal again.You also don't feel pain.So you thought.This is my quirk huh?

A sigh of relief and hot blood comes rushing in through your veins as you ended up not being able to bring Eri along with you.

You did not cried at all.Crying is pointless and staying like this is also worthless.

The thing that first comes into mind is you going to turn yourself in to the child welfare services.You introduced yourself as an child sold by your family and you also introduced yourself with an fake name to hide your real identity.

You ended up being adopted by an family living in the city.You don't care at all as you long you can have revenge and save your sister and you will together escape this madness again.

You also go to know how to use your quirk well and uncover many secrets about it.

Your adoptive parents also started noticing on how quite your good at using your quirk so they ended up home schooling you.They were shocked you were such an intelligent obedient child they also treated you like their own.

You feel kinda safe,warm and comfortable at the same time.You also can't help to feel bad and burdened on how you abandoned Eri.Your living in heaven while she's experiencing hell.What a good brother you are you asked to yourself.

3 years passed you basically got into UA due to hardwork and determination You became also strong and your appearance drastically changed.

Meanwhile everyone UA aims to be number one and your goal is to save your sister from your pathethic brother.You also kept an low profile of yourself to hide your existence.

You actually ended up getting along with most of the class especially to Midoriya.You dont know why because he just gives the scent that you can trust him and he's a good person.

Also the girls in the class likes you because you respect them and also beat that little shit up by being a huge pervert.(if you know you know)

Time passes by and eventually their will be an upcomming event, the UA sports festival.Everyone in the class is excited meanwhile you are anxious, your identity will exposed and all your hardwork will go down the drain.

It does'nt matter,your much stronger and confident now.The sports festival came to an end and everyone gathered at the classroom for an sudden meeting. To be honest you did great on the event but you did not manage to get through the top 3 rankings.

You ended up getting an reccomendation to a hero agency.You accepted the reccomendation and it was basically for a month to get better and stronger.

Everything happened so fast, you ended up getting an reccomendation and accepting it and getting attacked by the villains.So UA decided to just make an dorm system to make sure that the students are safe at all times.

Aizawa announced that there will be an hero internship and you ended up getting back to the agency that trained you a few months ago.

Everyday is like usual you did multiple patrols, go to school to study and mostly can't sleep in the night.

You and so as the others like uraraka, tsuyu, midoriya, kirishima ended up being summoned at Nighteye's agency.

Their were many pro heroes as well your teacher, Aizawa is here.You can sense that the situation is quite serious and Midoriya and Mirio is acting weird and you can also sense fear in them.

Nighteye's sidekick bubble girl and centipeder explained that there is a villain on the loose.You lost your complexion, you felt sick and scared.All of your memories in hell projected throughout your head "Y/N - san are you okay? your complexion does'nt seem too good." tsuyu said in an concerned voice.

You replied, that your okay and you said that you've never ever seen something brutal.

As they've continue on nighteye mentioned that overhaul or also known as kai chisaki has an daughter.

You snapped and standed up while shaking " What seems to be your problem Mr.L/N?" nighteye said in his intimidating voice,everyone was staring at you like your crazy.

"I-i have something to confess." you said as your voice trembled

"And what is that?"

"My brother is Overhaul."

"Y/N - san you must be mistake----."

"NO! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR GETTING INTO, AND THE WORST CASE SCENARIO IF YOU GOT SHOT BY THOSE DRUG YOUR QUIRK WILL BE DESTROYED AND WORSE SOMEONE WILL DIE!" you yelled and everyone stared at you with disgusted faces and even in disbelief

"So your saying that your in hands with Overhaul or your so called brother?"

"No... I tried escaping with Eri but she was taken away and my body exploded in pieces and my body parts ended up being thrown carelessly through the river,thanks to my quirk i can basically regenerate and create an new identity.However i did not accomplished on taking her with me.AND DONT YOU DARE IMPLY MYSELF WITH THAT MANIPULATIVE PATHETHIC MAN DONT YOU KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE BEING TORTURED EVERYDAY?EVERYDAY IS HELL AND IF WE MAKE A MISTAKE ONE FLICK OF THAT BULLET YOUR BASICALLY AN DEADMAN WALKING!AND I HATE SEEING PEOPLE DIE IN HIS HANDS!" you yelled in frustration.

Your classmates, stared at you in disbelief you are the most calm and composed person in every situation but in this situation, they did not know that you we're in despair.

"S-sorry, with that said.He thinks that i'm dead but no and i'm not affiliated with him anymore, plus the last time we saw eachother is 3 years ago."

"So please, i beg you save my sister she's all i have." you said as you bowed to the ground showing pure respect.

Nighteye sighed and he said he saw that coming and commanded you to tell everything that he did to you amd Eri and about their Yakuza gang.He also said to keep an distance and do not fight in the infiltration of their base.He also said to Aizawa to protect you.You agreed, it's the least thing that you can do to help in this kind of situation.

The day comes and you were basically watched by Aizawa eyes wide open (Lmao i just remembered i cant stop me and cry for me #Once #Twice).

You ended up not taking it anymore and sneaking out of the UA teacher dorm without anyone noticing.

You have no problem in making it through the base but you have to fight multiple of villains tho.You ended up seeing the sight of the ruined base and seeing your brother and Mirio fighting over the little girl.

"OVERHAUL!" you yelled in your booming voice as you've appear in the darkness wearing your hero suit .

"R/N?ah, so your alive?" he said in disbelief .

"Yes?so?my dear pathethic brother also known as overhaul."

"Too bad i shot him already." he said as he pointed at Mirio's struggling limp body as Eri just covered herself with his scrapped cape.

You ended up fighting him one on one.You knew that he was strong and powerful and so are you.

The last thing you knew was going all out with your quirk and passing out to the ground and you were in the hospital getting treated by recovery girl.

A few hours later you received the news that everyone in the Yakuza got arrested but Overhaul got taken away by the league of villains,Mirio ended up getting shot by the quirk destroying drug and ended up loosing his quirk.

Lastly sir nighteye got killed due to the bad injury that he got whilst fighting him.On the good side Eri was taken custody of and is doing well in the hospital together with Mirio and Deku.

You sighed in contentment and walked in your hospital clothes in the hallway trying to find her hospital room.

Your heart started racing and you saw the letter engraved "ERI" you finally mustered up the courage into opening the door.You saw Deku and Mirio playing with her

"Y/N - chan your here!" Deku said enthusiatically.

The little girl hids on her sheets when she thought that you were a bad person along with Aizawa.Mirio said that it is okay and you two are their teacher and a school mate.

"Eri - chan do you remember me?" you said on your soft voice she immidiately remembers that familliar voice, her eyes widened and ended up throwing her arms onto your embrace crying.

"R/N!"

"You do remember me!Your okay now your safe,nii-san is here to protect you and will not leave you alone." you said sobbing while hugging the little girl she nodded and you two just stayed like there for a while.

Deku and Mirio : 🥺 (Lmao you to scootch along i'm her real brother🔪).

And finally the hospital visit is over and they allow you to visit her along with Deku and Mirio during weekends on the hospital.

You also apologized to Midoriya and Mirio for meddling the middle of the fight.Instead they thanked you and if you were not there they would've ended up dead.

A few weeks later she can finally get out of the hospital and ended up being in Aizawa's care in the teacher's dorm in UA.Since you trusted him you allowed him to take care of her.

You also take care of her when Aizawa is not around along with Deku and Mirio in the dorms.

The whole class is also shocked in how much your attitude and behavi reverses when Eri's around.They were like : 🧐,🤭,🥰,😍,🤩,😱 is that even possible HShsgsh.

You also learned how to cook and teach Eri how to read and learn you also play with her ofc.

You also became more confident, and a .Lmao the look on your face when bakugo called you an Tsundere.And you said in the most murderous voice ever "DIE." then Eri comes in like : 🙁🗿.

"I said i will DYE my hair later pink HAHAHHAHAH😃." you said jokingly.

Everyone was like : 👁️👄👁️ Meanwhile eri's just : yea im down with that face with a small nod and a smile***

Mina aswell as the others ended up taking the joke seriously and you ended up having a pink hair color the next day to school.

Monoma said that you looked pretty u̶g̶l̶y̶ he ended up getting beat up by kendo.(SHHSHSHEHE LMAO😂).

Shoto thinks it's cool HAHAHHAHA.

Eri said that she likes it and it looks nice to you.Iida and Aizawa lets you slide disobeying the school rules just this ONCE he just wants to see the little girl happy.

The reaction on your adoptive families face when you told them that you have a sister is priceless.They we're like : " i guess we need to adopt another one." S̶i̶k̶e̶.

Note : the gif is not mine a̶n̶d̶s̶o̶a̶r̶e̶y̶o̶u̶

💌 : OMGGG THANKS FOR REQUESTING AGAIN!✨Sorry it took too long hehehe anyways! i'm stoked to see that you also watch Demon slayer! it's really an good anime and i'm looking forward in the movie that will be released!the animation will be so sick😫✨💥.

ORIGINALLY by : bokunosoul

#mha imagines #mha x y/n #mha x reader #class 1 a x reader #overhaul x reader #mha headcanons #mha drabbles #kny

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kiribaku-queen · 4 years ago

Text

You’re Not the One

Pairing: Todoroki x reader, Bakugou x reader

Drama, Angst?, pregnant!AU, happy ending

Word count: 6.4K

A/N: I was supposed to upload this multiple Friday’s ago… But enjoy this quick but long oneshot I have made! Let me know what you think! Do you like having oneshots like this or the series better?

Summary: No one prepared you for motherhood. You didn’t even know the first step to being a parent. What’s even worse was that you were doing it all alone. Will you let a knight in shining armor save you from distress or will you let the father of your child come back in your life and have the perfect family you always wanted?

Bakugou arrived at your apartment all busted up. It was a rough day at work and all he wanted to do right now was lay in bed with you in his arms. He didn’t want to think about how he let a villain get away. Or how he had to defeat a group of people all on his own with no backup, causing all those cuts and bruises. Or how management came running and yelled at him for his attitude towards his fans. He didn’t need anymore chaos. He didn’t want anymore problems. But that’s not how life works does it?

“I’m pregnant.”

Of course you were. Bakugou took a deep breath in and violently let it out, running his fingers through his hair. No, he wasn’t happy. He was already overwhelmed with trying to become the best that he could be at his job. He didn’t need another inconvenience in his way.

You frowned upon seeing his reaction. That definitely wasn’t the reaction you were hoping for. You were expecting shock, for sure. But mad? Angry? Disappointed? Never in a million years.

“What’s with that reaction? Are you not happy?” you asked, shaking a bit. You already knew this wasn’t going to go well when you saw that he wasn’t scooping you up in his arms. He was pacing around the room now.

“I just can’t deal with this news right now.” He told you. You furrowed your brows in concern. Seeing how he was acting right now, you could tell it had to do something with work. Bakugou sat down on the edge of the bed and you joined him, gently holding onto his arm.

“Was it work again?” you asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah. I’m already stressed out. I don’t need this pregnant news stressing me out even more!” he started to raise his voice. It wasn’t the first time you heard him raise his voice. You know he doesn’t mean to sometimes, but it always frightens you. He never put a hand on you when he was mad but when he gets like this, you just never know when he’s about to snap and finally do it. That’s how scary he could be sometimes.

“Well, I was hoping that me being pregnant would lessen your stress? Because it should be happy news?” It made sense to you. Having a baby with someone you loved should be the happiest news of your life. And after having a rough day at work, you would think that coming home to good news would be the highlight of the day. But it looks like you were wrong. Did you just make things worse for him?

“I don’t even know how to take care of a baby,” he huffed. You got up from the bed and comforted him from behind. You wrapped your arms around his waist, pressed your chest up against his back, and laid your cheek on his back.

“You think I know either? We can both learn,” you tried to convince him. But it didn’t look like it was working. You started to become anxious and fidgety. This was not supposed to happen tonight. You pictured it so differently in your head and it was all going down the drain.

“No, I can’t take care of this baby,” he shook his head. That left a tight feeling in your chest.

“Cant? Or don’t want to?” you dared to ask.

“Don’t want to,” he replied softly.

“Katsuki!” you desperately called out his name. You heart was breaking. A lump was forming in your throat and tears were threatening to spill over.

“(y/n)!” he called out just as desperate. “I’m so overwhelmed right now! I’m loaded with paperwork. I’m constantly working over time. I don’t get days off. I don’t get breaks. I’m at the peak of my career right now. I can barely take care of you, how can I take of a child that requires more attention than you need on a daily basis?” That last one hurt. You stood there in awe at how he could say that so easily. You didn’t even know what to say. All of this was coming out of nowhere. You both stood still in silence. Bakugou was huffing and puffing by himself while you were trying to process everything he was saying and weighing out your options. If Bakugou didn’t want this baby, you had a few options ahead of you. But before you could think too much, your boyfriend said something that was beyond forgivable. “Get rid of it.”

“Bakugou Katsuki.” Your eyes snapped at him, sudden anger took over you. Out of all the things he could say, he just had to say the most hurtful thing. You could take the criticism. You could take all his anger, his confusion, and his fright. You could take his uncertainness right now because it was sudden news. Both of you never talked about having kids. It only makes sense that he was uncertain about his abilities about being a father. But this. This was going too far. It was unacceptable. No matter how much he didn’t like the idea of you being pregnant or how much he was unprepared to be a dad, he treaded across a forbidden place that was never meant to be crossed. “You take that back right now.”

“No. You either get rid of the baby or I’m leaving,” he gave you the ultimatum. But it was a no brainer.

“I’m keeping the baby,” you say confidently. You were more confident in your answer, more than ever. But that didn’t stop the crushing pain in your chest. The feeling was getting more intense the more you kept looking at him. Bakugou nods his head in acknowledgement. He picks up his work stuff and heads straight to the door. As soon as he opens the door, you scream out his name causing him to stop in his tracks.

“You walk out that door and I swear on my life, you will never see this child,” You threatened. You were shaking with anger, eyes glaring in his direction. Bakugou hesitates. He’s paused at the opened door. And for a split second, you could see a sliver of hope that he comes back to you. But you were wrong. He’s out that door, out of your apartment, and out of your life just like that.

You were left utterly devasted and completely alone to raise the baby. Honestly, being pregnant was the easy part. What comes after that? Now that was a challenge. It was probably an understatement to say that raising your baby was a challenge. You were struggling. Raising a baby by yourself was hard. There were times when you didn’t know why your baby was crying in the middle of the night. Was he hungry? Did his diaper need to be changed? Did he just want to be held? But sometimes, you would do all that and he would still be crying, making you stay up all night and not get a wink of sleep. There are days were you can’t function properly because of the lack of sleep you would get.

And if that wasn’t enough, you were having a hard time financially keeping you stable. Diapers, formula, and other baby necessities were expensive. You were barely left with enough money to buy food or buy groceries. Maybe a few times a week, you wouldn’t get to eat anything because you didn’t have enough money. And you had to juggle between having a full time job and being a full time mom. You were constantly working around the clock. Everyday, you would be left physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. You can’t even spend time to yourself because you have to tend to your child.

You were rocking your child to sleep, watching as his eyes got heavier and heavier. A sad smile reached your lips but tears trickled down your cheeks.

“Mommy’s having a hard time,” you whispered to your son, sobbing. Yes, the pressure of being a mom got to you. It got to you so bad that you cried every night. God, you were so stressed out and miserable. But even though there were so many hardships that you faced, it was all worth it. It was worth going through all that just to see your son laugh and smile and grow. Despite all the frustrations you went through on a daily basis, you knew it was going to pay off in the end. You loved your son. He captured your heart as soon as he came out. Mommy was having a hard time but you wouldn’t change this for the world.

Just when life was about to get you down, things started to lighten up. You bit your lip and internally cheered when you found out that you had enough money for groceries. You actually had a lot of money left over to buy whatever you wanted. But you were starving. As soon as you got to the grocery store, you made up your mind to stock up on supplies in case you have one of those days again.

You put little Ryota in the seat of the cart and proceeded to go down all the aisles, getting everything you deemed necessary to store in your pantry. While you were at it, you might as well get ingredients to prep yourself a nice dinner for tonight. It’s been a while since you had an actual, homecooked meal.

“Alright, which one should I get baby?” you asked your son, Ryota. He wasn’t old enough to speak yet. Only babbling here and there. Yet, you were constantly talking to him like he could understand you. It was somewhat comforting. You held out two options for him to choose from. Ryota stuck out both his hands, gravitating to the one on the left. You smiled.

“Yeah, I thought so. Good choice, my love,” you squeezed both his cheeks and smothered him with kisses. You then put Ryota’s choice inside the cart and put the other option back. When you went to put that away, another hand was reaching in the same direction, making both of your hands bump into each other.

“Oh, I’m sorr – Shouto?” you began to apologize but once you looked up, you recognized that iconic hair and scar anywhere. He was tall. Taller than you remember. The middle of his hair was swooped backwards, showing his forehead. His build was as impressive as ever and he was carrying a basket of groceries.

“Ah, (y/n). It’s been a while,” he was just as shocked as you were. It’s been what, 7? 8 years? You haven’t seen each other since your school days.

“It has, hasn’t it? Have you been well?” you struck up a conversation. He gave you a soft smile and stuffed his free hand in his pocket. He hummed in response and looked over you shoulder to see your child.

“Looks like you’ve been doing well, too. What’s his name?” he asked, going up to your son and trying to make him laugh. It was working because Ryota seemed to look like he liked him.

“Ryota,” you responded, admiring the way Shouto was playing with your son. It was a weird feeling. You were the one always around your son. Sure, some people held him but it was rare for Ryota to be interacting with a male. It was weird, but a refreshing sight.

“He’s cute. Ah,” he stood up and faced you. “How’s Bakugou doing?” Ouch. He opened up a wound that you were trying to suppress for all these months.

“Oh, um… We’re not…” you tried to explain without it being too awkward, but it wasn’t working. Immediate regret showed on Shouto’s face. He looked back to Ryota and back at you, the realization sinking in. You guess you couldn’t blame him though. Ryota looked exactly like Bakugou. Dirty blonde hair and fiery, red eyes. A mini me of the man who broke your heart. But it’s okay, because now, a new man came into your life. Both of you also weren’t public about your breakup. It was messy anyway. Only a few people really know what happened.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“It’s okay!” You interrupted him, waving your hands in front of you. It wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know. “Where you trying to get this?” you changed the subject, lifting up the box that you were putting away. Shouto glanced at the box in your hands and nodded. He took it from you and added it to his basket. Now you were both awkwardly standing there together, not knowing what to say. Ryota was huffing and puffing behind you, letting you know that it was time to go. You excused yourself and headed towards the check out aisle.

You bagged all your groceries and groaned in agony. You walked to the store and you really underestimated how much you bought. How were you going to carry all those groceries and carry Ryota. He can’t even walk yet. But you got to do what you got to do. You grabbed one bag and all of a sudden, it was pulled away from your grip. You looked up to see Shouto grabbing all your groceries.

“What are you doing? I can handle it,” you reassured him, but he wouldn’t budge. He continued to grab everything, and soon, all of your groceries were in both of his hands.

“You need to carry him. I can carry this for you,” he offered. Well, it wasn’t really an offer. You bit your lip because you did need help, but you also felt bad for making him carry your belongings. But Shouto was already at the exit, waiting for you to catch up to him. Not wanting to waste any more of his time, you picked up Ryota and chased after him.

Thank god your apartment wasn’t too far. Shouto graciously carried all those bags for you, setting them down on your kitchen floor. You rushed to put Ryota in his crib since he fell asleep on your shoulder on the walk home. When you set him down and made sure he was comfortable, you returned to your kitchen where Shouto was standing.

“Thank you so much, Shouto. I really appreciate it,” you thanked him, still feeling bad and guilty for allowing him to do such a task.

“It’s no problem. It looked like you were struggling,” he says, letting you know that he didn’t mind at all. “Well, I should get going. Call me if you need more help.” He says before making his way to the door. Before he exits your apartment, you were quick to stop him.

“Do you want to stay for dinner? As a thank you for bringing up my groceries?” you offered. He stood there for a minute, debating on whether or not to take the offer. But you gave him those pleading eyes because you had no else to thank him. After much facial persuading, he eventually took up on your offer and stayed for dinner.

Halfway through to making dinner, Ryota woke up crying. You were about to go comfort him when you saw Shouto already on the move. He cradled Ryota in his arms and rocked him back and forth until he calmed down. That shocked you. You weren’t expecting him to take action like that.

“Ah, I can take him” you tried to take Ryota away from him but Ryota was holding onto Shouto tightly. Huh? Your son didn’t know Shouto yet he was hanging onto him like his life depended on it. You playfully frowned and Shouto chuckled.

“I can take care of him while you cook,” he said. You were reluctant at first, but eventually agreed. There was no use fighting Shouto when he already has his mind set on something. So you continued cooking, checking up on the boys once in a while. Bu seeing Shouto play and laugh with your son made you smile. And when you say smile, you’re smiling hard. Like grinning from ear to ear. The sight was cute and heartwarming. You couldn’t thank him enough for looking after your son because you finally got a break to yourself. Even if you were cooking, you were put into a state of mind where it was just you. And you could focus on yourself and just enjoy the cooking process.

Having Shouto over for dinner and letting him look over your son was a great break for you. But it was time to get back into the groove again. You were about to go grocery shopping again for tonight’s dinner when a knock was heard on your door. Strange. You weren’t expecting company. You opened the door with curiosity and was surprised to see Todoroki Shouto waiting at your door.

“What are you doing here?” you questioned him with surprise. He lifted a bag filled with different kinds of ingredients.

“Let me make you dinner,” he says. “To thank you for cooking me dinner yesterday.” You smiled at his kindness, but you had to respectfully decline.

“But dinner yesterday was to thank you for carrying my groceries!” you explained but he wasn’t having it.

“And now I’m thanking you for thanking me,” he shakes the bag, waiting for you to let him in. God, you couldn’t say no to that face. And so you let him in. From then on, he was coming over every day. Cooking dinner started to become a routine, both of you alternating nights on who cooks when. Sometimes you would even cook together. With Shouto coming over, you were able to get more alone time and relaxation from taking care of the baby. But that also means you were spending more time with him. The more he came over, the more you bonded with him. Let’s not forget Ryota. It was an understatement to say that he liked Shouto. Every time he’s over, your son would cling to him every chance he got. And soon, Shouto was coming over for more than just dinner. You thought it was because he wanted to spend time with Ryota. Afterall, he was treating your son like he was his own. But you soon came to realize that that was only half the story.

4 years later

Bakugou had the day off so he made his way to his nearest grocery store for some snacks. He hadn’t heard from you since that day. After he walked out, he needed a while to get back to his senses and calm down. But by the time he was ready to face you again, you had disappeared from his life. You blocked all types of communication from him and moved apartments. He didn’t think of you often. But whenever he saw a child with their mother, that’s when he started thinking of what ifs. And if you were doing okay. Did you have the baby? Or did you end up losing the baby? Was it a boy or girl? What was their name? Did they look like him? Many questions ran through his mind that he knew won’t get answered any time soon.

He grabbed a basket and went straight to the snack aisle. On the way there, he noticed a woman was having trouble getting something from the top shelf. He was thinking about ignoring her and keep on his merry way. But there was something about her back side that seemed familiar. And he couldn’t ignore his hero instincts to help those in need. He went over to her and grabbed the she was reaching for and handed it to her. But when he looked at who the woman was, his heart skipped a beat.

It was you.

Looking at him with wide eyes.

“(y/n)…” he muttered your name out of instinct. You quickly grabbed your item and stuffed it in your cart.

“Bakugou… thank you,” you muttered right back. God, he hasn’t seen you in so long. And you looked great as ever. Healthy. Happy. He looked around you. No baby.

“You’ve been good?” he asked. Shit, why was this so awkward. You nodded, giving him a small smile that was obviously very forced.

“Mhm, you?”

“Yeah.”

Silence.

The curiosity got the better of him. He just had to ask.

“What about the baby-”

“There is no baby,” you interrupted him very abruptly. Bakugou physically felt his heart crack. There… was no baby? Fuck, now he felt like the worst person in the world. He stared at you, completely and utterly devastated by the news. His eyes were wide with shock, his mouth hung low. He wanted to say something so bad, but the words just got caught in his throat. Bakugou just couldn’t believe that there was no baby. And after he said all those awful things to you. The end result was no baby?

“(y/n), I’m-” he wanted to apologize so badly, but was interrupted by the shouting of a young child.

“Mommy! Can I have this one?” the blonde child asked you, showing you the bag of chips he found. Both of you looked down at the child. Wait a minute. Blonde hair. Red eyes. It was like Bakugou was looking in a mirror. You, eyes wide with panic, looked down at your child then back at Bakugou. You grabbed the bag from your son and gave him a sweet smile.

“Sure, honey. Let’s go home now okay?” you told your son. You looked back up at Bakugou, giving him a curt bow and took your sons hand. Your son was looking up at Bakugou with big, curious eyes but eventually followed you out. Bakugou didn’t have time to react. All he could think about was, that was his son. He looked exactly like him. There was no way that wasn’t his son. And it was too late. You were gone. He was gone. He ruined everything. A single tear dropped down on his cheek as he realized what he missed out on.

You took your son to the playground so he could get some exercise in. Sitting on one of the benches, hand-in-hand with your boyfriend, Shouto, you watched as your son played tag with a few of the other neighborhood boys. Since that day you ran into Bakugou, your mind was running wild. You straight up lied to his face about Ryota. But he didn’t say anything. Maybe he thought it was someone else? God, but he said ‘Mommy’ right in front of him. Maybe he thinks it’s not his? But they look exactly alike. You internally groan and leaned your head on Shouto’s shoulder.

“What are you thinking about?” he chuckled at you, petting your head lovingly.

“Just things,” you reply shortly. You didn’t want to bring up the topic of your ex-boyfriend, who just happened to be the father of your child. Shouto would get jealous and you didn’t want to cause anymore drama.

“You’re thinking about it again, aren’t you?” Gahh, he knew you too well. He squeezed your hand in his in reassurance. “Look, if he wanted to be in Ryota’s life, he would have tried to contact you by now. And even if did contact you and wants to be in his life, then, I would respect that.” You look up at your boyfriend with a pout and concern eyes.

“Are you sure?” you ask. He looks down at you and gave your cheeks a nice, hard pinch.

“Yes. Ryota deserves to have his biological father in his life,” he reasons. Okay, fair enough. But he didn’t even want to be in your son’s life in the first place. It was so simple for him to abandon you while you were pregnant. And after all the hardships you had to go through, now he wants to be a present father?

“He doesn’t have to know who his real father is,” you say, crossing your arms across your chest.

“(y/n),” Shouto says your name in a warning tone. But you put your defenses up.

“What? I don’t know if I even want him in Ryota’s life,” you confess. Shouto wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you in close.

“Well, think about it. And if Bakugou comes around, you can either accept or reject him. I will be there to support you every step of the way. And if he tries to make a scene, I’ll be there to stop him,” he promises you. That comforts you a lot to know that Shouto will be there for you no matter what. He was always like that. From the moment he entered in you and your son’s life.

“Okay, I love you,” you whispered, puckering out your lips. He laughs and kisses your duck lips.

“I love you, too.” And gives you a few more kisses. You look back at the playground to watch your son play. Panic starts to rise in you. You look to the left. Ryota wasn’t there. You look to the right. He wasn’t there either. You sit straight up and scan the playground one more time for your child, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Ryota?” you call out his name. Shouto also realizes that Ryota was missing. He’s already up on his feet, calling out your son’s name and searching the playground. Your lips began to quiver and your legs began to shake. This was not happening right now. Shouto frantically whipped his head around, trying to see if he could get a glimpse of Ryota running off. That’s when he saw him. As soon as he turned his head to the side, he saw Ryota heading into an alleyway. Immediately, Shouto was running full speed in that same direction. You saw Shouto running and ran after him. He was too fast for you to catch up, but you ran anyway

Bakugou was on patrol duty for the day. He hated these days because all he had to do was roam around the city streets to make sure everyone was kept safe. He would catch villains here and there, but patrol duty was so boring for him. Until today. He was walking down the sidewalk in his hero costume when a little boy suddenly came out of nowhere, almost making him fall on top of him.

“Oi, kid! Watch where you’re going!” Bakugou scolded the young one. The child looked up and Bakugou froze in his tracks. This had to be fate. His son… Your son just so happens to run into him. Today out of all days? The blonde boy is looking up at Bakugou in awe.

“Mister? Are you a hero?” he asks. Bakugou smirks and kneels down so that he’s at his level.

“I am. What’s your name kid?”

“Ryota!” Ryota says his name in full confidence, grinning from ear to ear. Ryota… so that’s his name. Bakugou could feel his heart warm up at the sight of the boy.

“Little Ryota, where are your parents?” he asked. He looked around but it looked like Ryota ran off by himself. Looks like it was his job to help find his parents. That means finding you. He was starting to get his hopes up. If he ran into you, then he could try to apologize and maybe, just maybe, start things over.

“Ryota!” a man shouted the boy’s name. Bakugou looked up and an old classmate of his was scooping up Ryota in his arms. “Don’t run off like that! You had us scared to death!” he scolded the boy, but was relieved that he wasn’t hurt.

“Sorry, daddy,” the boy apologized. Ha? Daddy? Bakugou looked at the man and scoffed. Both men looked at each other and the atmosphere got chillingly cold.

“Bakugou,” the man said his name as a greeting. Bakugou frowned.

“Half-and-Half bastard,” What a surprise. So you were dating Todoroki now? It was like a staring competition between you two. A deadly staring competition. Todoroki cleared his throat and adjusted Ryota on his hip.

“Thanks for stopping my son,” Todoroki thanked the pro-hero. But he said it in the most monotone voice ever. No emotion behind it whatsoever.

“Tch,” Bakugou just scoffed and looked away. Todoroki’s son? Nah, that wasn’t right. That was his son. Todoroki took that as a sign of ‘you’re welcome’, and walked away with Ryota in hand. Bakugou just stared off in their direction. Thank god he did because Ryota laid his head on Todoroki’s shoulder, but he was waving at him.

When Ryota was returned to you, you held him in your arms, falling to the ground in tears. You scolded him for running off without telling anyone and to never do it again. But refused to let him go because you were so afraid for his life. You couldn’t let anything happen to him.

All three of you returned to your apartment. After a year of dating, you and Ryota moved in with Shouto in his apartment. You felt bad because his apartment was so big, nice, and fancy but he insisted you both move in. So that Ryota can have a better space to grow up in. If it was for Ryota’s sake, you couldn’t pass up on the offer.

Shouto was putting Ryota to bed while you were finishing up cleaning the dishes. You finished up the last dish and dried your hands when a knock startled you. You looked at the clock. Why would someone be here at this hour? You weren’t expecting anyone. When you opened the door, you were shocked to see Bakugou standing there.

“Bakugou! What are you doing here? How did you know I lived here?” you questioned him, stunned.

“He’s mine, isn’t he?” Bakugou ignored your question with a question of his own. He was staring at the floor. You wanted to deny, deny, deny. But you were too ashamed to say anything. So he tried again. “Ryota.” He said, this time looking up at you. “Ryota is my child, isn’t he?” You bit your lip and nodded your head. You heard him sigh and he ran his fingers through his hair. “You lied to me.”

“What choice did I have?”

“You could have said the truth,” he argued.

“And then what!” you raised your voice, your emotions started to get the better of you. “So you could come running back to be in his life?” your voice cracked at the end from your throat tightening up because you refused to cry. And you tried your hardest not to get too loud, in fear that your boyfriend was going to overhear. But little did you know, Todoroki was leaning against the wall in the hallway, listening to everything.

Bakugou didn’t say a word. Because it was true. He wanted to be in his son’s life. He knows that he fucked up big time. But now, he wanted to right that wrong doing. But you shook your head.

“No. No, I’m sorry Bakugou. That’s not going to happen,” you denied him.

“That’s not fair,” he whispered, his heart breaking once again. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but he didn’t know it was going to hurt his bad.

“Not fair?” you let out a soft laugh. Unbelievable. “You want to talk about not fair? You left me. Alone. While I was pregnant. And I had to raise that child all by myself,” you were sobbing now. You were remembering all those hardships that you had to face alone and it was all pouring out. “Do you even know how hard it was? How hard and exhausted I was every single day? And now you want to show up when he’s all grown now? That’s not fair.”

“I know. I know. Fuck, I’m so sorry. I messed up big time. But I want to make it right now. If you let me be in our son’s life, I’ll prove it to you that I can be a good dad. That you can trust me and-and,” Bakugou was so desperate. But you stopped him.

“You were my everything, Bakugou. I was so excited to start this small little family with you. But you destroyed all my hopes and dreams.” Bakugou bit his bottom lip to try to stop himself from crying, but was failing miserably. No matter how hard he tried, the tears wouldn’t stop coming. He violently wiped his teary eyes with the palm of his hand. You gave him a sad smile as you reminisced what you two had together. “I think it’s best if we… if you just forgot about us.” You suggested. Bakugou couldn’t accept that. At least not yet.

“Please, please just think about it?” he begged, his eyes telling all. When you looked at those eyes, you could tell how serious he wanted this.

“Fine,” you said after giving a bit of thought. “I’ll think about it. Go home, it’s late.” You told him. Agreeing with you, he nodded his head and went on his way. You gently closed the door and took a deep breath in. You weren’t expecting this. You guess you were, but not this soon. You turned around to go to you room, quickly wiping your tears away before Shouto could see. But when you looked up, Shouto was already there, arms wide open and eyes looking at you with concern.

“You okay?” he asked as you embraced him in a hug. He kissed the top of your head hugged you close.

“Yeah,” you breathed out, barely managing to say anything. But you weren’t. That night you couldn’t sleep. Your mind was racing with thoughts. This whole situation was bothering you and you couldn’t seem to think of anything else. There was only one way to relax your mind. Sneaking out of your shared bed with your boyfriend, you quickly put on your bathing suit and took a dip in the pool. Did you mention that his apartment came with an outdoor pool right next to the living room? It was convenient when you needed a place to clear your mind. You rested your arms on the edge of the pool, looking out into the city. You let the city lights and the noise of traffic distract you. So much that you didn’t even hear Shouto come up behind you. You squealed when you felt a pair of hands wrap around your waist. He laughed in your ear, slowly kissing the back of your head, making its way down to your neck and then you shoulder.

“Can’t sleep?” his deep, husky voice whispered in your ear.

“No. Did I wake you?” you softly asked back and he shook his head. He held you in silence, both of you looking at the city of lights. Now you were able to relax. His touch was comforting. It was as if his touch put a spell on you to make you relax.

“Hey,” Shouto started.

“Mhm?” you hummed in response. He took a pause.

“Let’s have a kid,” he proposed. You looked up at him and he was already looking down at you with the most loving eyes. It took you off guard, but it was somehow making your heart flutter.

“Us? Like you and me?” you asked, just to make sure you were hearing things right. He nodded his head and cocked his eyebrow.

“Why? Don’t like that idea?” he teased you. Your face flushed red and you waved your hands in front you, then rested on his chest.

“It’s not that! I was just thinking we would…” and you started to trail off. You’ve discussed this topic before but not too much. You were nervous what he was going to say. “…get married first?” You glanced up at your boyfriend and his expression remained unchanged. God, sometimes you couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Finally, a smirk was plastered on his face.

“If you were just a little patient, maybe you wouldn’t have ruined the surprise,” he says which leaves you confused. You saw him take out a frozen block from his trunks. Confusion still prominent on your face, he unfreezes the block to reveal a beautiful velvet box. Shouto froze the box to keep it from getting wet when he was in the water. And when it was time, he would use his other side to unfreeze the box. He opens the box easily with one hand and a gorgeous diamond ring was sitting inside.

“Shouto,” you gasped, admiring the ring. He takes it out the box and slips it on your ring finger.

“Marry me?” he asks. You cup both of his cheeks to bring him into a smothering kiss.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes!” you kept repeating, every time giving him another kiss. You loop your legs around his waist and he traps you in between his body and the edge of the pool. Both of you spend the rest of the night making out and having a bit of fun in the bedroom.

Bakugou shows up at your apartment the following week while you were eating breakfast. His eyes were puffy and he looked a mess. Your heart goes out to him and felt like you had tortured him enough. After talking to your fiancé about the whole situation, he convinced you to let him in and allow him to step up as the father to your child. But with conditions.

When you answered the door, Bakugou immediately saw the ring on your finger. He swore he didn’t see that before. If he was being honest with himself, seeing that ring on your finger broke his heart a little bit. Seeing you engaged to Todoroki, seeing you happy made him jealous that that wasn’t him. Because he should have been in his place. He should have been the one you were engaged to. He should have been the one you were happy with. He should have been there the entire time. And he wasn’t. For what? Because he was having difficult times in his work? At least he was relieved to hear the news that you were going to give him another chance at raising your son together. He was going to make up for what he missed out on. Todoroki joined you at the door and stuck his hand out for Bakugou to take.

“Welcome to the family.”

#bakugou x reader #todoroki x reader #katsuki bakugou #todoroki shouto #bakugou imagine #todoroki imagine #bnha bakugou #bnha todoroki #bnha imagines #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

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starcloud-nova · 3 years ago

Note

Favorite fics by some of your buddies on Tumblr and Discord?

God nonnie. You fucked up big time. You underestimated just how hard I can appreciate my friends. I’d like to formally apologize for how long and in-depth this got, but I would pick a stopping point and then go ‘oh! but i cant leave out so-and-so’ and then this got mega out of hand.

Organized by author and not genre! And if I didn’t include any of your works (or I did and it was not the one you wanted), please, don’t take it personally. I am trusting everyone who comes across this post to read the tags themselves, but for two of the fics I have left TWs in front of them.

Cassia’s fics:

Internet Enemies by @cassiopeia721 (x)

At school, Midoriya Izuku is ignored at best. At home, he's raised by a single mother who seems to be always taking night shifts, and who he communicates with almost exclusively through notes on lunch boxes and texts lying about his location. As such, Midoriya Izuku turns to the internet— or more specifically, an All Might fan server on discord— for companionship. Like most things in his life, it goes wrong eventually. It just takes longer than usual.

hypnic jump

Izuku finds himself somewhere he doesn't recognize in an oversized green jumpsuit with a hero he's never seen at his back. He's pretty sure he's dreaming, and subsequent events only solidify that theory into rock-solid certainty.

Paradigm Shift (Harry Potter)

Harry undergoes a paradigm shift at the beginning of his fifth year. (Slytherin Harry)

~~~

Kestrel’s fics:

Compass by @autisticmidoriyas (x)

Midoriya Izuku never had the chance to become a hero—or even to grow up. Fifteen years after his death, Akatani Izuku tries to save the life of a dying hero and in return receives a target painted on his back and a power humming in his bones.

All Might, Sir Nighteye, Ground Zero, Suneater, and Skyquake are left scrambling in the wake of Lemillion’s death to figure out who now holds One For All.

Intertwined with all this, the League of Villains’ war against Japan burns on. With the loss of Lemillion, the advantage is now theirs, and with the loss of One For All, victory is all-but-assured.

(What the villains don’t know is that One For All lives on in the blood of a boy who was always meant to be a hero.)

triskelion

A few seconds, and their lives—their life—is changed forever. Where three people used to exist, there is now only one.

While visiting the mall with their class, Izuku, Katsuki, and Shouto are the victims of someone whose quirk can fuse together objects … and people.

Permanently.

Facing down the fact that they may never be unfused, a long adjustment period lies ahead of them as they learn how to be themself and figure out where they fit into their families, their class, and their world.

the meaning of hope

One day, the smoke will reach its end. They hold out hope for that. Even with quirks, fires cannot burn forever. They will consume all their fuel, until there is nothing left, and they will wither and die.

~~~

Lilly’s fics:

Rise of the Rat Finks by Authoress_Lilly

“You're not in trouble Neito. You’ve been tapped to join The Rats.”

The boy blinks. “The what?”

Vlad opens up a folder and hands Monoma a flyer and a small pin in the shape of a rat. “It’s a sort of secret society here at UA.

Or: an excuse to put Monoma and Midoriya together in way too many words 😅

The Root to Villainy

Prompt: Izuku doesn't realize how fucked up his past was until Aizawa does an immersive class on villain origins.

Whoops?

~~~

Dance’s fics:

Never Take Your Problem Children To Costco by DanceInTheKitchen

“SECURE THE EGGS! I REPEAT SECURE THE EGGS!” Bakugou bellowed.

“YES SIR! AYE AYE SIR!” Izuku saluted.

Shouta is staring at his students, one of whom seems to be reenacting the Lion King with a carton of eggs while the other salutes him, and wonders. What the hell did he do in his past life to deserve this?? Past him must have committed some great sin, like putting sugar in his coffee, or being a dog person.

Or, Aizawa, Bakugou and Midoriya walk into a Costco.

grow as we go

The dorms were silent, but out here in the open air, she felt both isolated and free. Isolated from the world, but free from the responsibility crushing her, isolated from her friends and family, but free from judgement. Up here, with only the stars and Iida as company, Momo felt like she could breathe.

They sat next to each other in silence, watching the stars silently crawl their way across the sky. Iida doesn’t break the silence, but he also doesn’t leave. It’s a silent promise, to listen if she needs it, or to keep her company if she doesn’t want to speak. It’s comforting.

She’s not sure when she speaks, it’s somewhere between staring up at the stars, and looking at the shiny dew covering the grass of the hills behind UA.

“I’m not ready.”

Or, with graduation right around the corner, Momo has a conversation with Iida about what growing up means.

~~~

Azure’s fics:

A Helping Hand for All by azureskyy

Izuku doesn't know why everyone's talking about a certain hero analyst online. He's tried browsing through the forums and other sites, but he just can't find the person they're talking about.

Maybe he'll ask them later. For now, he has some analysis to do.

Or: Izuku is a well-known hero and quirk analyst across multiple social media platforms.

Not that he's aware of it, of course.

A Missed Chance

Two paths cross then diverge. In another universe, perhaps, they could have walked on the same path; they could have talked for the second time that day, and Izuku could have been given an opportunity that could change his entire life. And maybe, just maybe, he would have taken it.

But this isn’t that universe.

Or: What if All Might wasn't able to find Izuku after the Sludge Villain Incident?

~~~

Alice’s fics:

A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by @makeitbluue (x)

“Did you think you’d be safe from me forever? That you could chip away at my power base and I would not care or try to hunt you down?” The man asks as he steps forwards.

Izuku scrambles backwards in his bed, searching the covers as he goes for his phone. If he can get a text off to All Might or Aizawa-sensei he can alert people to the potential danger.

But even as he moves, something in the back of his mind tells him he had heard this voice before. A different time, a different context, but the same voice.

~~~

Ely’s fics:

bend and break by @queenangst (x)

In a world where you can feel your soulmate's pain, Eijirou spends a lot of his life up until meeting his soulmate hurting.

draw and quarter

In District Twelve, no one volunteers.

When Aizawa Shouta’s name is called, no one says a word. He stands there for a moment, feeling all the world slow around him, and then he straightens his shoulders and walks to his death.

He will die fighting. At the very least, Shouta can promise that.

Shouta's name is drawn for the Hunger Games, alongside Shirakumo Oboro. No one from their district has ever won.

damage control

After All for One's defeat, Aizawa Shouta is grasping for ways to protect his students. At the same time, a discrepancy in Midoriya's behavior leads Shouta down a dangerous line of investigation and to a single question: if Midoriya is the U.A. traitor.

Between the Wind and the Water

Staying at U.A. for winter break, Izuku hopes it'll be a quiet chance to spend the holidays with Todoroki and supervising teachers All Might and Aizawa-sensei.

It's just his luck a gift-shopping trip turns into a gift from a villain, and Izuku's new Half-Cold, Half-Hot Quirk is not so easy to control. Neither are the secrets he's been carefully keeping.

a glimpse of tomorrow (looking back)

Subject: Aldera Time Capsule Ceremony Forwarded Message— This year marks ten years for the Aldera Middle School graduating class of 20XX.To celebrate, we would like to invite pro heroes Kingpin and Deku, Aldera alumni, to participate in a public time-capsule opening. We are incredibly proud to have helped them on their journeys to becoming heroes, and would be most honored to receive them as guests and for them to speak at the ceremony. [...]

"Well," Deku says, leaning over to turn the monitor towards him. His eyes flick over the contents of the email one more time. "If they haven't changed, then I guess we could return the favor."

Ten years down the line, Bakugou and Midoriya are invited to a time capsule ceremony at their middle school to read letters from their past selves, and look back on their past and how it shaped their future. For anyone else, it would have been a celebration.

For the two of them, it's an opportunity.

A look into Bakugou and Midoriya's past—through a future neither of them imagined—as pro heroes, agency partners, and friends.

of the mighty heart

It was just complicated. Kacchan had changed. Izuku had changed. What was between them was constant—Kacchan was always there—but even constants, Izuku supposed, could change, too.

...You saved me, sometimes you say Deku and it doesn’t sound so much like an insult, you say it like you mean it, you say it like you mean me.

After the war ends and the dust settles, Izuku is left in pain and feeling useless. There's still so much to do and people to save, and it's just... too much for one person.

And then there's Kacchan.

~~~

Fawn’s fics:

Bough Breaks by @fawnvelveteen (x) (trigger warning for discussion of rape/noncon)

In life, nothing is certain. Pro-heroes aren’t always the good guys. Children are not spared from the darkest realms of humanity. Izuku isn't acting like his normal self at school lately, and his homeroom teacher has taken notice. After learning about the mother’s new, unwelcomed boyfriend, Aizawa’s concern shifts into dread. He’ll do whatever it takes to keep his student away from harm.

Almost Moon (trigger warning for suicide) (Black Clover)

It was always at night. One of Noelle's squadmates, apparently, believes it's a good idea to walk across the rooftop, directly over her head while she is trying to get some sleep. Finally, she decides to confront the nighttime nuisance. What she discovers is something she never expected, nor did she wish to see.

~~~

Nez’s fics:

The True Successor by @neko-nez (x)

Toshinori is caught in a time loop.

~~~

Aodh’s fics:

new game + (the pros of being over-leveled, the catharsis of finally beating That One Boss, and a bonus social link) by @takeyamayuu (x)

Izuku hasn’t been noticed yet, being as far from the fight as he is. Or if he has, they’re dismissing him in favor of the larger threat of Aizawa-sensei. As they should, since he takes out the last one with a well placed kick, turning to face Shigaraki,

Izuku tenses, this is-

This is where his teacher’s arm is injured and then-

The Nomu.

One for All spikes to around fifty percent, his muscles stinging, bones creaking as Izuku darts forward, aiming for Shigaraki’s head with an axe-kick.

Second year Midoriya Izuku gets hit with a Quirk, skids into the USJ, and learns a little about self-care along the way.

~~~

Ghost’s fics:

fingerpaint bruises and a kick in the teeth by @ghoststrawberries (x)

There’s a sour taste in Shouta’s mouth as he stares at Jackrabbit’s bright smile. The smile he’s wearing in every clear photo of him. It somewhat reminds Shouta of All Might’s smile.

Jackrabbit might be a menace to the Commission, but there’s no way Shouta can believe that a man with that smile is anything less than good to his core.

“And I’m your last resort to handle this quietly.” He says knowingly, keeping his thoughts to himself.

“Precisely.”

Shouta’s gut response is to refuse.

The words “I don’t kill.” are halfway up his throat before they become stuck.

As an underground hero, sometimes Shouta Aizawa is called upon to do darker jobs than one might expect a hero to have to do. This time, when he's tasked with taking out a vigilante who's managed to bother the Hero Public Safety Commission one too many times, he's not sure he'll be able to follow through.

~~~

Amira’s fics:

And Now I See Daylight by @awake-my-oceans (x)

AnalysisOverload Current mood: HERO CON HERO CON HERO CON HERO CON

AnalysisOverload reblogged AnalysisOverload Okay, let’s talk HeroCon.

Look around, and you’ll see a lot of discrimination—against people whose Quirk is debilitating, against people whose Quirks scare us, against people who have trouble controlling their Quirk, against people who don’t have a Quirk at all. It’s easy to feel alone in a sea of discrimination.

Enter HeroCon:X.

A social media fic following Deku post-graduation.

The chaotic neutral’s guide to time travel

“You claim you are from the future,” Nedzu said, hopping onto his desk. “Do you have anything to prove this?”

Hitoshi fished around in his pocket. “Here’s my hero license,” he said, holding it up.

Nedzu opened his mouth, but Hitoshi kept right on going, producing a handful of odds and ends from his pocket. “Also a movie ticket, some dryer lint, some, uh, didn’t know I still had that but it’s old gum—“

That was when Aizawa walked in, capture weapon floating around him. “What’s the emergency?” he asked, clipped, as he kicked open the door.

“—and the left arm of a Deku plushie,” Hitoshi finished, unruffled. “My cat ate the rest.”

~~~

Aaaaaand that’s all I got. Thanks for making it to the end!

#bnha #bnha fic #fic rec #fic rec list #fic rec masterpost #nova talks #all my friends in one post. sniffle #most of em anyway #not sure what to tag this so. ill hit send!#forgot too tag this as an ask rip #anonymous #ask

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tlou-1 · 4 years ago

Text

Joel x Reader (Home) - Chapter 15

Chapter 15 - Life being pregnant in Jackson with a protective Joel and Ellie on hand. (A bit of fluff)

A couple months later you were working your shift in the Tipsy Bison. It had been a few days since you had been able to come on shift, turns out you hadn’t escaped the morning sickness but rather it would hit you at the beginning of your second trimester. It felt nice to be out of the house and doing something. Molly was sat with you to keep you company before Joel and Ellie came to meet you. Things had changed quite a bit over the space of these two months, Molly and Jesse were not together but still friends (thankfully for you). She had explained that he needed to be with someone his own age, Jesse was pretty wise for his years but maybe Molly was right.

Joel and Ellie arrive in the bar a little late, their patrol must have taken longer than expected. They went to sit alongside Molly, Ellie removing her bag and taking a seat when Joel asked “I thought you were to supposed to be finished work?”.

It had only been an extra hour you had been on shift. “I was, I thought you two were supposed to be back a while ago?” you retaliate.

“She’s got us there” Ellie sighs. The pair had started patrols together last month and had been out together frequently since. It all started with an argument between you, Maria and Joel and Ellie. You were adamant you could still go on patrol, Maria supported this decision for the early stages of your pregnancy but well Joel and Ellie wouldn’t hear any of it.

“Maria you ain’t seriously thinking of letting her go out there?” Joel hissed

“Joel I am standing right here. I swear to god if you talk across me again… I can go out there and it’’s not like you wouldn’t be there to keep an eye!” You shout

“You’re both stubborn as mules” Maria sounded exhausted by it all.

“I’ll take her patrols with Joel” Ellie volunteered. You protest again.

“Fine I can take most of her patrols, you could still go out occasionally. Compromise for everyone?” Ellie shrugged. It seemed the best deal and looking at how good the time together had been for Joel and Ellie’s relationship it had its positives.

Later that night after Ellie had joined you both for dinner. You and Ellie were sat on the sofa chatting away whilst Joel cleaned the dishes. “We will need to take Junior, when they are old enough!” Ellie smiles her knees tucked under her chin. You laugh and rest your hands upon your ever growing belly “Definitely although we might need a better tour guide than Joel it sounds”.

“What are you two laughing at? I heard my name” Joel appears from the kitchen still drying his hands.

“Oh I am just hearing about the museum. Sounds like you are quite the Dr John Hammond” You tease your husband but he doesn’t seem to care.

“The women knows Jurassic Park, I knew I loved you for some reason darlin” he exclaims pointing at you before planting an over dramatic kiss on your cheek which you playfully swat away.

You continue to tease Joel with Ellie’s assistance when he returns to the kitchen. “Well Joel I think you could take some lessons from Ellie by the sounds of it” you call.

“I think it sounds like all my girls are ganging up on me in there” he laughs and goes to sit in-between you both finally finished with the dishes.

“Oh I dunno we could have a little guy in here, might make it even numbers for you” you tease placing a hand on your bump. Joel goes still for a second before falling back into the sofa.

“Oh Christ a boy? I don’t think I’d know what to do with a boy” he sighs looking up at the ceiling. You and Ellie just laugh shaking your heads at him.

That night you all rewatched Jurassic Park together. Ellie had tried balancing the bowl of popcorn on your ever growing stomach,

“Ellie would you stop trying to use my wife as a table” he tutted her away.

“Oh Joel you know the older child always acts up when they are about to have younger sibling” you joke lying your feet along him, getting comfy. Before Ellie laughs sarcastically throwing a handful of popcorn at your face.

“I see what you mean” Joel smiles and Ellie just rolls her eyes at you both.

The further into the pregnancy you got the more Joel fussed over you, sometimes it was endearing, other times it could be infuriating. It was Spring which meant you could spend more time outdoors but Joel preferred you didn’t do too much hard labour. He got his wish as by the 6th month it was damn impossible to do the simplest of tasks. In the mornings before your walks with Bruce there were multiple occasions where you had to have Joel tie the laces to your shoes. He could feel your frustration at this so wouldn’t say very much in these type of moments worried about getting caught in the crossfire.

“This is ridiculous, I still have another three months. I cant not be able to tie my shoes until then… I am getting huge” you almost cry with the irritation.

Joel stays crouching after tying your shoes, “Baby I am going to be here to tie your shoes every single day and I believe you to be absolutely stunnin” he takes your hand in his.

One night you wake with a jolt. Joel wakes up almost immediately too, he never had been a heavy sleeper. “What is it? What’s wrong?”.

You relax back against your pillow, smiling “They are kicking”. It was the strangest sensation you had experienced, it felt so odd and yet so comforting. You reach for Joel’s hand and hold it against the top of your bump, there is nothing for a few seconds and then. Joel laughs softly, smiling at the sensation of feeling your child’s foot against your skin.

“That’s amazing” you say fascinated.

“Isn’t it? Let me try something” Joel shifts himself so he is propped comfortably right next to your stomach. He begins to talk softly, he talks about Jackson, Ellie, Bruce and your life together as a family.

“Joel, what are you doing?” You ask sleepily, his voice was soothing to listen to.

“Your Mama is looking pretty tired little one, do you think you can give the kicking a rest so she can get a bit of sleep?” He smiles up at you.

#tlou #tlou part 2 #the last of us #the last of us part 2 #the last of us part ii #joel miller series #joel miller smut #Joel Miller x Reader #joel x reader #tlou fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #Joel Miller fanfic #the last of us fanfic #The Last of us part 2 fanfic #Ellie Williams

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jujutsubabe · 4 years ago

Text

Consequential choices

Synopsis: You and Itadori play a dating sim!

Word count: 1.7k

A/n: I love Itadori ❤️ that is all. Thank you.

————

“Nice try. I won’t let a creep like you get the chance!” A girl on the console harrumphed before the choices at the bottom of the screen popped up.

Itadori sat up, squinting at the tv, gripping his controller and flicking between the two options. He wiped his sweaty hands on his pants, looking between the options and you.

You looked up from your phone, “Just pick one, we already messed up her route...”

He flicked his thumb down. “No...I’m gonna win this...”

“But Itadori we have more points with the uh...uhm what’s her name? blonde—“

“Mizuki.”

“Yeah, her! let’s try to go for Mizuki instead!”

He glanced at you before pouting and leaning back onto you. The two of you sat on the couch, him laying right atop of you and craning his neck at an unhealthy degree to see the screen.

He had been playing this dating sim, trying to unlock as many routes as possible before the day ended. So far there were three out of seven unlocked...

It was kind of nice, having Itadori turn around like an expectant puppy, ready to get your opinion on his decisions. He was always a tad too impulsive to win any of the routes. Just skipping the dialogue too quick and immediately misclicking on a bad choice with an annoyed groan.

You couldn’t blame him, with the long dialogues and easy skip button it was easy to mess up. But you were at least able to pace him as he played so he didn’t ruin the route’s you two worked on.

The game wasn’t as easy as it seemed, some characters easier to unlock than others, but this character in particular, the classic pink haired tsundere girl, named Aiko would not budge. She always shot down the answers you thought were so right and got offended if you chose something flirty.

At one point you started looking up the answers online, giving Itadori hints as he nodded along.

“Huh? No way...Our interest score went up like almost a hundred did you see that!” He turned to you with a bright smile before pressing a kiss onto your face, “You’re really good at this...”

Every time he did that, it just made your heart swell. He unconsciously did something cute to you whenever the score went up, it made your ego boost up too high, almost as if It was a reward.

When he found out about your little answer sheet, he shook his head, saying it wasn’t fun if you were “cheating.” Making you two continue without a guide.

So it only made sense that you would get a few answers right before deaccelerating and only choosing answers that got negative results. You and Itadori would wince when you saw your like meter shake as it went down, it always hit a littler harder when you could see the point loss.

Your choices all led up to here, what started with a good roll of fifty points went down to ten. You glanced at him, there was no way you could win her over, everything you said or did just made her uninterested in your character, but Itadori was really set on this.

He continued to flip between the two choices, “I’m just gonna do it.”

You held your breath as he shut his eyes and clicked on an option. The screen loaded, processing your answer, ever so slowly. He peeked his eyes through, the both of you holding all the air in the room

*network failure*

Your mouth popped open and Itadori did a double take at the screen. Blinking quickly as you turned to him and the tv. The words shined across, with no intent on changing.

“Is that... Did—did you save!?” You flipped your head his way, sweat starting to build up when he didn’t look back at you.

He stared at the screen with wide eyes like the tv said something to offend him, giving the network failure his full attention. His controller laid loosely in his grip, like he would drop it at any second.

“Itadori.” You pinched his arm and he turned his head.

“I... I think so. Hold on.” He moved to the console, turning it off and on again, the both of you silently hoping it would work.

You chewed on your nails as he kneeled by the tv, the both of you were way too deep invested in this game.

You didn’t remember the last time Itadori saved, there weren’t too many save points in the game, it was just a “make sure you don’t forget before you log off” kind of game.

You had been playing for hours, if any of your routes got undone you were going to lose your mind.

The screen popped back on, the main menu and characters moved across the screen. It took a second before the load files came up, no time zones on them though.

Itadori stood up, standing in front of it like an old dad watching his football game. (Why do men do this...) He loaded the game and before you knew it, a familiar song from one of the scenes played and Itadori groaned.

“What happened? I cant see, move over.”

He stood to the side, “It restarted to the sleepover.”

You cocked your head at the scene, it was the same route you were going for, with the pink haired girl, but this was one of the scenes that showed up before you messed up.

During this scene the two of you had multiple chances to get on her good side, but continued to get her mad as it went on. It all went downhill from this point.

You gasped when your eyes flickered to the stats. “Itadori!”

“I’ts bad but I can fix it...” He rubbed the back of his neck as he sighed.

“No! I mean look at the bar! We’re back to fifty, we have a chance to win.”

He blinked back, his eyes flying past all of the high scores you had with her. You two hadn’t seen it like this in so long, it gave way more adrenaline than needed.

The scene settled on a few of the characters huddled into a classic “truth or dare” circle. It panned to Mizuki, her text filling out on the bottom of the screen.

“So... [player jizzman33],” Itadori smiled like that was the funniest thing on the planet, “it’s your turn. Do you choose truth or dare?” She asked.

Then the options popped up with a small timer clicking on the side. It was going by so fast, you had fifteen seconds to choose your answer.

You scrunched up your brow, not feeling any better when Itadori looked back at you for an answer. The last time you two did it, you chose an option that made the girl you were going for sneer and leave the party, decking your points by thirty.

You racked your mind for something, you had done this scene so many times with the other girls you needed to think hard for her.

“With brunette she liked truth, cause we confessed to her... and then....”

“Uhhh babe?” Itadori gestured to the timer and you waved him off. “It’s at ten.”

You continued mumbling, “blue hair liked truth cause we got closer to her... and then the green haired girl wanted dare... or was that Aiko?”

Your eyes flickered to the clock like it was a bomb.

Five seconds...

You knew this was beyond dramatic but at this point all cares were dropped. You literally had a chance to fix your mistakes, how were you going to let it slip?

You clicked your tongue, you forgot which option she wanted. You had gotten her route mixed up with another girls, trying to differentiate which girl wanted which choice.

Three seconds...

“I think I’ll randomly choose one...” Itadori pinched one of his eyes closed as he moved the stick.

He needed to do anything but that. You started connecting the dots a little faster, almost feeling your thoughts racing inside your head.

Everything went in slow motion as Itadori’s finger hovered over the ‘X’ button. This was more work than any game you’ve played, every decision led to your heart either being crushed or absolutely delighted.

Your leg jittered as you bit your nails, this was going to make you age a few more years, how is this stress healthy for anyone. Why would someone create a game this stress inducing??

That was when something spiked into your brain. Like a quick uppercut, you got it immediately, the planets aligned themselves and all was understood in the universe.

With at least a second to spare you couldn’t doubt the supposed answer now.

You jumped up, way more eager than you tried to be. “It’s Dare! Pick dare!”

He clicked eyes with you before switching his choice and pressing it in an instant. There was no time to check on your answer, he fully trusted you.

As soon as he selected the screen loaded, and the both of you held your breaths again, eyes focused onto the television.

“Ah dare huh? So brave, you’re the first person to pick that...” the Mizuki smiled, “I dare you to kiss the person sitting next to you.”

The screen turned to the person next to you, which happened to be Aiko, “W-well if we have to! You’re the first person to pick dare so whatever.”

There was a cut scene as she gave the main character a quick peck on the cheek before pulling away.

“Don’t take that as anything but a dare! P-pervert...”

Then the stats shot up as hearts flew across her screen. The score went up by twenty more, and it got closer to the goal than you could have imagined.

You and Itadori turned between each other and the screen. Faces absolutely wide in shock and joy, the both of you felt so happy you thought you could cry.

It was such an earned promotion, you felt proud being able to bring that victory to the table.

Itadori turned to give you a hug but froze, quickly turning back around to quick save the game. After it loaded then he came to you, wrapping you up in a very tight squeeze.

“We did so good!” You giggled when he kissed your cheek, “I’m so proud of us!” Kiss again, “I knew we could do it!” Kiss kiss kiss. He smothered your face in kisses, practically pressing his face into your cheeks and squishing you even more.

You smiled as he attacked your face with pecks all over your cheeks.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if the internet went out again...

#jjk #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #fluff #Itadori x reader #itadori yuuji x reader #jjk itadori #itadori x you #itadori yuuji x you #Itadori x reader fluff #itadori yuuji #yuuji x reader #yuuji itadori #ok I’m posting so much omg 🙄🙄🙄#Itadori yuuji x reader fluff

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ace-in-a-shopping-cart · 4 years ago

Text

The Second-Hand Bookstore

Credit for idea goes to @starry-knight-skies. I also got a bit carried away with it, oops.

Summary: Logan owns a bookstore in a small town. Virgil is a vampire. Nuff said.

Word Count: 2,219

Main Taglist: (Send an ask to be added or removed!) @starlocked01 @spoopy-turtle @lizluvscupcakes @more-fandon-than-friends, @i-cant-find-a-good-username, @vindicatedvirgil, @star-crossed-shipper, @justaqueercactus

Logan walked down the stairs and did a once over of the store. He checked the shelves for dust, made sure any misplaced books were put back, and that everything was generally where it should be. He did this routine every time he closed up as well but never knew if his exhaustion clouded his judgement or if he missed anything. Being ready for business, he went and unlocked the front door.

The shop was a little out of the way second-hand bookstore so he didn’t expect many visitors so early in the morning. Only, there was a customer that came in almost as soon as Logan sat down behind the cash register.

The man was dressed in black jeans, a black hoodie with purple patches and white stitching, and a ripped purple shirt. His hood was up when he walked in and he didn’t even seem to pause to adjust his eyes, he just went straight to browsing. Having nothing better to do, Logan watched the customer.

The man ran his hand along the spines in a way that both suggested he was looking for something but also that he was greeting old friends. Logan wondered if the man had read any of them before. The man walked deeper, a smile flitting across his face as he saw some of the titles. He chuckled at one point, pulling a book off the shelf with a muttered, “I didn’t know this still existed.”

Logan smiled, loathe to break the silence. The book was put back on the shelf as the man continued wandering down the aisle. He got to the back section where Logan kept the older books and his posture changed. He seemed to gain more energy and Logan could imagine his eyes lighting up. His fingers ran along the spines in a gentle and loving way that made Logan think of greeting long lost friends or family unseen for a while.

The door rang and Logan turned, ready to help the next customer. Thoughts of the other customer were pushed to the back of his mind as he was told of a specific book this one was looking for. Logan had to order it but told them it would be there soon.

When his attention returned to the back aisles, the stranger wasn’t there. Logan’s eyes scanned the tiny store for him, sure he hadn’t gone out the door. He found him curled up in the corner chair, a content smile on his face as he read the book in his hands. Logan wasn’t close enough to read the title.

The day went on and Logan kept up with the now steady trickle of customers coming in. He paid no mind to the customer at the back who was steadily working his way through Logan’s whole astronomy section. That is, until he went on his lunch break and approached the man.

Logan smiled. “Hi, I couldn’t help but see that you’re going through the whole section on stars.”

The man looked up, a sheepish expression on his pale face. He had dark bags under his eyes that suggested he got little sleep the night before. “Sorry, is that not allowed?”

Logan shook his head. “No, it’s perfectly fine. I was just wondering if you wanted to come talk about constellations while I grab lunch.”

His eyes widened as he put the book down, not even bothering to mark his place. “Really?”

Logan nodded. “Only if you want to.”

He nodded, standing to dwarf Logan by a few inches. Logan led the way out the door, turning the sign to lunch break and locking the door on the way out. “Do you have a preference for a place to eat?”

The man paused, a brief expression of panic crossing his face before it smoothed out. “No, I don’t.”

Logan nodded, humming thoughtfully as they walked down the street. “How about Subway?”

Thus, they sat in a booth and talked about the stars, bonding over the stories they knew of them and laughing when they came up with ones for the constellations they forgot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Virgil had entered that bookstore that day to get out of the morning sun that stung his eyes. He hadn’t expected to find a spectacled man sitting at a counter, following him with his eyes. He hadn’t expected to run across books written by friends, written by him under a different name. Books that felt like friends simply because of the part of his life he was going through when he’d read it. His mind wandered back to his father’s words, spoken so long ago now: “If you keep your memories in books, you will never forget.”

Out of all the books, he hadn’t expected to run into ones he’d owned at one point in his life, hadn’t expected to be able to pull it off the shelf and read the notes he’d scribbled into the margins, to see the tear stains on some of the pages, hadn’t expected to be hit with the smell of books that never changes, no matter what century he was in.

He hadn’t expected to take the trip down memory lane right into his old profession, to be met with almost a wall of books written about stars. He smiled, eyes lighting with a life he hadn’t felt in a long time, and browsed. He saw books written by long dead colleagues, himself, teachers, mentors, students of his, students of his students, and so on.

He hadn’t expected to be coming face to face with the charming man at the counter, who had been watching him the whole time, asking if he wanted to go eat lunch with him. He didn’t have the heart to tell him he couldn’t eat anymore, just went along with it for the sake of seeing him smile again the way he saw out of the corner of his eye.

When asked for his preference for a place to eat his eyes grew wide at the thought of ‘the park’ that sprang to his mind.

He surely didn’t expect to come back, this time in a leather jacket covering a shirt of a band that had long since broken up, purple fishnet gloves and sunglasses perched on his head, all paired with the same jeans as before. He didn’t expect to be spending most of the day talking with Logan, didn’t expect to be purchasing a bunch of the astronomy books he’d written a hundred years ago.

When he had walked down those stairs and through the door into that store that day to get out of the heat, he had expected very few things. In return, he managed to gain so much more. He had shut himself off from people after the last person he’d thought was his friend had tried to sell him for his fangs.

He found himself growing closer to Logan, smiling in his presence, almost showing his fangs multiple times. He enjoyed talking with him to the point that he almost let his guard down. He didn’t notice how close they’d gotten until he found himself sitting on a couch, an old show running in the background as Logan was curled up against his side, fast asleep. There were times when Virgil missed the need for sleep, the slipping into oblivion for a few precious hours, but right now he wouldn’t give up his vampiric nature for the world.

He felt Logan shift against him, settling deeper against his side. Virgil stretched his arm out, being careful to not move the rest of his body. He picked up the remote to turn the television off, grabbing the book sitting beside it before settling back into his seat. One arm was slung over Logan’s back and he unconsciously started rubbing his back, fingers threading through Logan’s hair as he read by the dim light of the lamp next to him.

A few more weeks passed and Virgil knew he should start to get moving again. He normally didn’t like staying in the same place for long, the centuries he’d lived having instilled a wanderlust in him. His only regret at this point was having to leave Logan. He’d grown fond of the human in their time together, to the point that his heart stuttered sometimes when he saw him.

He was all packed and ready to go, his motorcycle waiting on the curb. Yet, here he was, standing in front of the door to Logan’s second-hand bookstore. He took a deep breath and pushed it open, listening to the jingle of the bell for maybe the last time. “Logan?” He called when he didn’t see him at the front desk.

“Back here!” His voice answered from the back room.

Virgil followed and found himself in the back room. He walked over and took the box Logan was struggling to lift. “Where do you need it?”

Logan huffed, hands resting on the small of his back. “In the front, I need to reload some of the shelves.” Virgil just nodded and did as he was told.

He put it off, spending more and more time with Logan until the sun had set, the perfect time to be on the open road, and Logan was inviting him up for a dinner he couldn’t eat. He sat at the table, hands reaching to twist the tablecloth between his fingers, trying to get out the anxious energy he could feel building up in his gut. Finally, he took a steadying breath and spoke. “I’m leaving tonight.”

Logan turned to look at him, playfulness dancing in his eyes behind his glasses. “I didn’t intend for you to stay the night.”

Virgil shook his head, feeling bravery mix with the anxiety. “I mean, I’m leaving town tonight.”

Logan paused, turning the burner off before coming to stand beside Virgil. “Why?”

Virgil shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Logan nodded, resting a hand on the table. “Is it something I did?”

Virgil was quick to shake his head, even as he felt his walls try to rebuild to brace against the heartbreak he knew was coming. “No, of course not. It’s nothing either of us did. It’s just something that happens every once in a while.”

Logan hesitated. He swallowed and Virgil tried not to show that his eyes were drawn to the vein in his neck. After a long pause, Logan spoke. “If this is about you being a vampire, I already know.”

Virgil startled, his head jerking back just a bit. “How?”

Logan chuckled, eyes rising to lock with Virgil’s own. “How many spoons do I have?”

Virgil didn’t even have to think about it. “Twenty five.”

Logan nodded. “The compulsion to count arbitrary things, the lack of actual eating, you always being awake no matter when I wake up if you stay over.” He sighed, exasperated. “Virgil, you came in with blood still on your chin one time, for goodness sake!”

Virgil swiped at his chin, checking for blood there. Eventually, he nodded, moving to stand. “Alright. I guess I should be going then.”

Logan put a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him down into the chair. “Why are you trying to leave me? I just told you I don’t care that you’re a vampire.”

Virgil huffed, leaning forward to put his forearms on the table. “I don’t age as fast as you do, Logan. By the time you’re old, I’ll only look a few years older than I do now. Besides, people will be suspicious that I don’t age.” He held up a hand, pausing whatever thought Logan was going to share. “Before you say it, I can’t just turn you. You’d be able to be with me, yes, but you’d also have to move every few decades as well. You’d never see this bookstore again. Is that what you really want? To move like you’re on the run, having to watch your every step?” Virgil shook his head, letting his bangs fall into his face. “I don’t want that for you.”

Logan put a hand over Virgil’s. “What if I could give you a reason to stay?”

Virgil looked up at him, hope bubbling below the surface, desperate to breach. “What do you mean?”

Logan smiled. “You do realize that half this town is full of vampires, right?”

Virgil leaned toward him, hand gripping his gentle but forceful at once. “Explain.”

“Half of the town is vampires, the other half is humans that know of them. Heck, my own great uncle is still here and he doesn’t look older than I do. Why do you think my store has such old books? People still read them, still enjoy them. None of them treasure them the way you do, nor do they greet them like old friends like you do, but they still remember the books from their times as humans. I want to be with you, Virgil. You don’t have to leave, you don’t have to run anymore.”

Virgil felt tears gather at the corners of his eyes as the realization that this could be home set in. Logan's arms came around his shoulders, offering comfort. Virgil smiled through his tears. “You’d really have me?”

A kiss was pressed to his temple. “Fangs and all.”

Virgil chuckled. “Fangs and all.” He echoed softly.

#fluff #angst #happy ending #vamp!Virgil #virgil sanders #logan sanders #analogical #ace writes

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