#i tried talking to my mother about how the way my brother has been treating me has been affecting me badly

[vengeful4ever]

I don't even know what wrong this time I just feel so empty

[flkwh0re]

Moms Friend

warnings: age gap (reader is 19 and Nat is 39), mommy kink (N), blow job, eating out, fingering, p in v, dirty talk, unprotected sex, breeding kink, cockwarming, a little bit of jealous Nat. That's all!!

Summary: You come home for a bit, and your moms best friend finally makes her move in you.

A/n: This is my first fic i’m posting here!! I apologize if it’s not great!

You had just pulled into the driveway of your childhood home. A few weeks ago you had planned to surprise your mom and come home. Grabbing your bags from the trunk, you walk to the door knocking. You hear your mother shout something incoherent.

"Oh Детка you're home!" Pulling you into a big hug, you catch a glance of your young brothers inside. They see you too running to the door. "Y/n you're home!!" You smile as Billy and Tommy pull you into a big hug.

Vision, your father, steps out into the hall. His smile fades as he sees you. Your relationship with your father is not the greatest, but with your mother it's amazing. Wanda had treated you better than any other mom you could've asked for, her best friend Natasha as well.

It then dawned on you that you haven't seen Natasha in while, so you figured maybe invite her over or ask her if she'd like to plan something. You pulled out your phone, searching for her contact.

After texting her, it was only a matter of time before she answered. You both decided you'd come to her place for lunch while you're mother and father were at work and your brothers at school.

"Y/n honey, tell me how school has been." Wanda asked with a smile. "Just like always, I'm top of most of my classes." You look at her, a proud smile plastered on her face. "Well isn't that just amazing, Vision." She ask him. He returns nothing but a nod, causing a small frown to creep onto your face.

"Oh, mom I'll be having lunch over at Natasha's tomorrow!" You say excitedly. "That's great! She's been asking so much about you, and I just don't know the answer to everything. My girl is a busy girl." She smiled.

Your evening consisted of catching up with your mom, listening to your brothers and all the things you've missed, and your father ignoring that you were even there. You honestly don't know why your mom is still with him, but you know it's probably for the best.

-

The next day arrives soon, and you're on your way to Natasha's house. Your nerves creep. You love Natasha, but there's always been this feeling towards her. A yearning for her. You know you can't act on it, because it's nothing but a silly childhood crush thought something tells you it's more.

You pull into her driveway, the front of her house being decorated with cute fall decor.

Stepping out of your car, the cold air hits your face only making your shivering nervous body worse.

You knock on her door, waiting a few seconds to hear for footsteps. Then you hear them, and Natasha telling you to give her a second. "Y/n!! Gosh I've missed you." She pulls you into a hug, kissing your forehead softly.

She pulls you inside, and quickly helps you remove your coat. Her eagerness to see you makes you smile wide, and laugh. Oh how you've missed her. Nothing or anyone, even your own mother, compares to how Natasha makes you feel.

You catch up with her on everything, while eating the food she prepared. You were interrupted by your friend Kate blowing up your phone with text then a call. "Hold on Nat, let me get this."

"Y/n I am going to hurt you!" She shouts into the phone, "Why the fuck didn't you tell me you were in town!!" You giggle at her, "Hey don't you fucking laugh at me!" Only causing your laughter to worsen.

Natasha on the other hand was not laughing, more jealous that her time was ruined with you. She hated that she got this way, but she couldn't help it. She tried to stop, you're her best friends daughter. You're also 20 years younger than her. Her thoughts were interrupted by your words.

"Sorry Natty, that was Kate. She wants me to come over as soon as possible." Her face like stone as she replies with, "So you're leaving?" Your nerves taking over again, leaving you silent. You don't wanna leave Natasha, you'd stay there forever with her. "Well not now, but probably soon. I'll make it up though, we can have dinner sometime."

-

Soon, the two weeks of being home quickly passed. You still hadn't made it up to Natasha, so you decided you'd show up to her house.

She opens the door, shocked to your arrival. "Y/n what are you here for?" She asked confused. "Well I never made up time lost with you, so I brought a desert and figured I'd spend some time with you and watch a movie or something." She felt a smile creep onto her face.

You settled down quickly on her couch, her following behind. You had both decided on watching (insert wtv movie).

Time had passed fast, she knew if she didn't act then she'd probably loose her chance. "Y/n come here, sit in my lap." You quickly scurry onto her lap, only to be stopped in your tracks when you notice her hard-on. "You feel that baby? It's all for you." She attaches her lips to your neck, kissing softly.

"Nat, what are you doing? We can't do this." You say nervously. "Says who? You're an adult sweetheart."

Within minutes she has you on your knees, pulling down her boxers. Her dick springs out, your face pulling a shocked look at her size. She brings her hand to your face, guiding your mouth into her length. You bob your head up and down on her. Gagging noises and her moans fill the air.

You bring her to her orgasm, swallowing everything she gave you. "Such a good girl for mommy. Now get up on the couch." You follow her orders and she helps you remove your clothes. Her lips attach to your nipple, while her hand gropes at your other breast.

"How's that baby? Is mommy making you feel good?"She asked in a sultry tone. "So good." She smiles at your weaker state, as she kisses down your stomach. Her mouth reaching your core, and her noise brushes your clit causing your hips to jolt. She attached her mouth to your pussy, sucking and licking.

As she works her tongue, she adds her fingers to the mix stretching you out. Your orgasm crashing in, in full speed.

She stands up, then aligns her tip with your entrance pushing in slowly. Once you've adjusted to her size, she shows no mercy on your pussy. "That feel good baby? Mommy's gonna fill you up. My little bitch to breed." You can't even form a sentence in your fucked out state.

"Aww poor thing is too dumb, can't even form a sentence. Tell mommy you want her to fill you up with her babies." You tried to spit the words out, but it just came out as an incoherent mess and moans. "Cmon baby tell me or else I won't." You still didn't speak, not until she pulled out of you. You gasp and quickly spoke out. "Please mommy fill me up!"

She smirked, then thrusted herself back into you. In only a matter of seconds you could feel her cuming inside you. She continued her thrust, your orgasm quickly washing over.

She placed a soft kiss on your head, then pulled herself out of you. Laying down behind you, she slid her cock back into you. "No mommy! I can't-" she quickly shut down your please. "Don't worry baby, I have you. Mommy just wants to be in you." She kisses your shoulder as you drift off to sleep.

[strawberrypoundtown]

Orc x Halforc!Fem!Reader

You're the clanleaders mixed race eldest daughter. Your older brother has one of his friends watch over you as you start to get eyed by other males in the clan, only for you to eye the rugged brute in charge of protecting you.

(Part 2 here)

Contains: sexual tension, nudity, mentions of biting and scratching

Being the clanleaders eldest daughter was difficult enough, but being a half orc made your daily life annoying. Your mother was a very beautiful and brave woman, especially considering your father was one of the most feared warriors in the world before meeting her. After they had met, your father doted on your mother constantly, and still does to this day. He's still a terrifying warrior, he just doesn't go on raids as much anymore.

However, as you got older, you realized that your parents had painted a picture of your innocence for you that made finding a a partner difficult. You had always been one of the best warriors among everyone else around your age when you were growing up, but your parents always acted like you were the most fragile little thing. So what if you broke your arm a few months ago while on a hunt that got out of hand? You didn't need to have your weapons and armor confiscated.

You let out a deep sigh and rubbed your eyes, before your tent flaps are rudely ripped open, earning a groan out of you. You stubbornly rolled over in your bed and pulled the blankets over your head, not even looking at who might have stumbled into your tent.

"Go away idiot. Let me sleep." You groaned, closing your eyes as you assumed it was one of your many siblings coming to wake you up way too early. You hear the person clear their throat and your eyes shoot open. 'That's not one of my siblings'

"Grobur asked me to come and get you. He wants to talk to you." You're thrown off by the deep voice that haunts your dreams and your cheeks flush. Why did your brother have to send him everytime?

Gan. You have had a crush on him for years. Almost as long as you can remember. He was only a couple year older than you and your brother Grobur's best friend since childhood. He was always so stoic and calm around you, even when you were kids. He was the only person that seemed to actually treat you like you could take care of yourself, while still being protective over you. You loved how protective he would get with you at times, making sure the other men stayed in their place when they went too far with you during practice. Seeing him spar and beat the crap out of the person that tried to beat you put a strange thrilling twist in your stomach. Watching him fight with no armor and barely any clothes, seeing his sweaty green skin glistening in the sun. Each muscle rippling as you would think about how gently he hugs you for a big brute like him. You had to stop watching him so much when you caught yourself drooling one day.

"Today, princess." He grumbled with a hint of sass, breaking you out of your daydream. It was his nickanem for you. It was his way of teasing you. He loved calling you princess, but you always wish he would call you his princess. You grunted and pout as you sat up in bed, staring up at him as you held the blanket up to cover your body. You had picked a bad night to go to bed naked.

"How about you get out so I can put on some clothes? I don't think Grobur would appreciate you parading me around camp naked." You giggled teasingly. His eyes widened, his mouth slightly agape before quickly coughing to cover his embarrassment and turning around to avert his eyes completely and to prevent pitching a tent of his own. He kinda wished you would show him your gorgeous, bountiful breasts, but then he quickly shoved that thought to the back of his head so he could speak

"I-I'm so sorry. I didn't realize. I'll be waiting outside for you." He said softly before leaving your tent. You sighed softly as you got up, slipping into some random clothes quickly, trying to calm your blushing face by rubbing your cheeks. After brushing your hair, you exit your tent and walk up to Gan. God he was massive. He was the largest male in the clan. Your eyes wander down his body briefly, wondering how big his di-

"Are you ready?" He asks you, interrupting your thoughts as you look back up at his face. He wasn't looking at you, seemingly trying to avoid looking at you while he took a step and started to walk ahead. You smile to yourself a little. Maybe you made him flustered?

"O-oh, uh, yes! Let's go." You stammer as you jump to follow him, doing a light jog to keep pace with him.

As you walk around camp, you don't notice the longing and lustful glances many of the males your age get on their faces as you walk by. The rugged orc leading you was the only male you had your eye on.

However, Gan does notice them. It infuriates him to no end that you're subjected to being seen by other males as a plaything, a trophy. None of them deserved you in his opinion. He could tell that in other males eyes, they just saw lust for you.

Gan made sure to look as intimidating as possible as he walked through camp with you, the other males quickly looking away from you when they saw him. When you started getting looks year ago, he started volunteering to escort you wherever you needed to go, under the guise of being sent there by your brother to make sure you were safe. He didn't trust anyone else to guard you, but him. Not like you particularly needed it. Your frame may only come up to his pecs, but you still had orc-like strength. You were strong even when you two were growing up, often besting him in sparring matches when you were little until he got too big for you to pin down.

His mind wanders until he remembers how your hair and clothes would get tousled around when you two had your last sparring match a few months ago. He loved it when you looked so determined in battle, licking and bearing your short, sharp tusks as you tried to catch your breath. Seeing you all sweaty, breathing heavily because of him drove him crazy. Your body was strong, but soft to the touch. Your curves drove him nuts and the muscles under your softness were to die for. You were so soft to him that it was like you could bruise at any moment, but you never did. He could throw you around for what felt like hours and you'd leave with barely a scratch, while he was left with your scratch marks and bites all over his arms and shoulders. Your sharp little tusks had left a few scars bethind over the years. You liked to fight dirty, and he loved it. He'd never admit it tho. He had to let you get him in a hold so he could tap out when he had noticed himself getting a bit too excited.

As you approached the large dining hall tent, you heard your brother and your parents talking happily at the head table, along with the rest of your siblings. Your brother is seated next to his wife, a stunningly beautiful female orc that waves to you with one hand, the other on her swollen pregnant belly.

"(Y/n)! Good morning!" She cheerfully greets. Everyone else at the table smiles at you and welcomes you to sit at the table. You wonder what they're so chipper about.

"Good morning everyone." You say softly before yawning, rubbing the last of the sleep from your eyes as you stood next to Gan.

"We have some good news for you sweetie." Your mom says with a smile. "You know how we've been worried about you getting a mate? Well, we decided to pick someone to watch over you-"

"Mom, I can take care of myself. I don't need someone watching over me all the time." You cut her off, already not wanting to entertain the idea of having a personal babysitter.

"(Y/n), we just want someone to keep an eye on you so no one tries to hurt you. We know you can take care of yourself, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have someone watching out for you." Your brother says before rolling his eyes, his wife harshly nudging him with her elbow, making him grunt and clutch his side.

"I don't understand why you're so worried about me all the time. I rarely ever see anyone try to look at me, let alone talk to me!" You threw your hands up in the air in frustration, having absolutely no idea that you were standing next to the reason why.

"I don't think you realize how some of the other males have been looking at you lately. You're more than old enough to find a mate now, so males are going to start trying to get your attention more. Some of them might end up getting dangerous..." your mother said softly, an empathetic look on her face as she looked at you. She knew this frustrated you, but she wanted to make sure you were protected if anything were to go wrong. You looked back into her eyes and sighed softly. You knew it was better to have protection than not, and you knew they all meant well.

"I understand. I just hope it's temporary." You say with a hopeful smile, and your father nods.

"It will be. We promise. Once you've found a mate, your guard will be dismissed." Your father states and you let out a sigh of relief.

"Who's the poor sucker that has to try and keep track of her?" Your 13 year old brother chuckled to himself before shoving more food into his mouth, earning a punch to his shoulder from your 16 year old sister.

"I will be." The voice next to you states in a low grumble, glancing at you briefly with what you could swear was a small smirk.

God damn it

[mythicmanuscripts]

Hey, there! If you don't mind me asking again, I was wondering about two things: is Aegon a lowkey brat? Because I have the impression that he could be one. And what could you say about Aegon's wife going away from king's landing for a important meeting or something similar? It's a given that his mood would sour more and more as day passes, but what's the extension or it?

Brilliant questions!! I’m always in awe of the stuff you guys manage to come up with to ask me. As much as you guys say you love my stuff, I couldn’t do it without all your inspiration.

Anyway, sub!aegon below the cut :))

So for the first question, I think Aegon tends to default to being a brat because it’s less scary? He’s so so used to being a disappointment to everyone. He can’t remember the last time someone in his family actually praised him, or even just acknowledged that he’s trying. He’s knows he’s not fit to rule, but he’s stuck here now and even if he tries his best it will never be even close to good enough.

I think this thinking bleeds into his interactions with brothel workers? He knows he’s submissive, he knows he wants someone else to take control, but he’s also so terrified of trying to be good because he thinks he’ll fail?

He always feels so vulnerable when he’s submitting and honestly, he wishes he could be good, but he’s so sure if he tries to do his best he’ll only get ridiculed and that will break him. Seeing the person he’s submitting to treat his efforts like a failure would just make him crumble.

So for that reason, he acts out instead. He talks back and disobeys and forces them to punish him because that’s safer, he can submit like that without getting his heart crushes.

Except he runs into a bit of a problem once he marries you. He thought he’d be having vanilla sex to produce an heir and then be back to the brothel workers.

But you’re just…. You’re so kind to him? You acknowledge his efforts, you praise him when he deserves it, you help him in a way that doesn’t make him feel stupid.

And it doesn’t even start in the bedroom either. It starts with you asking Aegon to do something small and when he does, you thank him and praise him. Aegon literally stops in his tracks when he hears that and asks you to repeat it. So of course you do, you tell him you appreciate his efforts and he’s made you very happy and Aegon has to hold back tears because he can’t remember the last time someone said anything like that to him.

From there, you start to notice how well Aegon responses when you praise him and acknowledge how hard he’s trying. So of course you keep on doing it, and pretty soon he’s hanging onto your every word, following you around and trying different things to help you so that you’ll show him he’s been good.

For the first time, he’s found someone who he actually believes he can be good for. He’s stopped trying to be good for his mother or father or brother or anyone else really because he knows he’ll never been good enough.

But you? He can be good for you, he is good for you. You make sure to acknowledge his efforts and thank him and you always offer advice and praise him for asking for help. And so, now there is a reason for him to put effort into being good, now there’s a chance his efforts won’t lead to broken hearts.

The first time you have sex after your bond has started growing, Aegon starts out bratty like he’s always done with everyone else. He assumes this is what he’ll have to do so that he doesn’t get hurt here, especially because it’s you and he knows he’d lose it if he wasn’t good enough for you.

You’re confused when he talks back, because everything you’ve seen about Aegon made you believe he’d be the sweetest little sub who’s desperate to be good. So you kinda just tilt your head and frown, asking why hes being like this.

Immediately he’s apologising and begging for a second chance and saying he thought you’d never be happy with him so he didn’t want to try. Which… you just pull him closer and tell him you’re already overjoyed with him which naturally prompts him to burst into tears.

[fanfictilltheend]

❤️‍🔥Violent Heart Part 2:  ♪Remember when I moved in you, and the holy dove was moving too ♫ (or the VERY DARK Stepdad!Mechanic!Covict!Joel x Afab!you one)❤️‍🔥

Hi I apologize that a lot of these reference pics are just of white girls. I tried to find "aesthetic" images that go with the story but so many of them are just of white people and I want to call myself out for this because in the fic's only descriptors are that she has hair and is AFAB -- nothing about race. I also realize that all of the girls in this are skinny too and Y/N's body type is never specified. Sorry fam!! These images are just to get the creative juices flowing and don't truly depict anything from the fic!!

A/n: It’s here!!!!!! 18+ Only. This took me 7 freaking months so you mofos better like, reblog, and comment. This is both my most and least personal fic I’ve ever written and it is dark and relies heavily on plot (smut this time tho!!) READ ALL OF THE TAGS DO NOT COME FOR ME UNLESS YOU DID THIS FR FR. This ones for my dark joel fangirlies(guys and NBies) and the daddy issues fam ily ❤️‍🔥 (also not me naming my fic in part after hallelujah by leonard cohen but there is a reason!!!!!!!!!!)

Summary: Part 2 picks up with Y/N at age 20 and how her relationship with Joel has changed and gets steamier.  SMUT and feelings <3 Also check out this playlist of music that’s in the fic!!!!

Tags (PLEASE READ): Afab!you, pov change, Infidelity, threats, age gap, dressing Joel up (swear I wrote this before he wore that outfit to the SAG awards — the mr.Darcy-core one), racist comment (from Y/N’s douchey boyfriend), douchey boyfriend, confidence issues, feelings, voyeurism, masturbation (m and f), kissing, penis in vagina sex — unprotected (wear a condom), lightest hint of ass play, scar worship?? kinda??, daddy issues, daddy kink, using music lyrics to move the plot, multiple orgasms (m and f), religion and god discussions, stepcest (kinda bc technically he is divorced from her mother), tagging psuedo-incest just to be safe!!, use of y/n

Word Count: ~13k

PART 1

AO3 Link

Violent Heart Masterlist

Full Masterlist of all my work

If you’re being honest, you’ve always had a little crush on Joel Miller. How could you not have? The first day you’d met him had been like some kind of fucked up yet extremely satisfying whirlwind of a daydream. He’d come in, broad and tall and strong, and saved you from your evil (though you do love him somewhere deep, deep down) older brother’s onslaught. Protected you like a knight in shining armor from his punching, beating fists. Treated and touched you so tenderly, so many miles different from how your own father did that you’d been hit with whatever the pleasant opposite of whiplash is. And the way he finally punished Aiden after years of his reign of terror, the violence of it, the justice of it. You didn’t have words for it then, but the way you looked into Joel’s eyes when he was doling out that righteous punishment became some kind of strange secret understanding between the two of you. Maybe it was the first sign of love? You aren’t sure.

As a kid, he’d given you what you like to think of as quiet butterflies. They were always there when he spoke to you, looked at you, touched you, beat the shit out of your father and brother for you, but they were faint enough that you could ignore them. It was a comforting, fluttering kind of love, a gradual understanding of your loyalty to one another. But then puberty hit and the insects became incessantly loud when you thought of, wrote to, or talked to him. They ate at your heart day after day while Joel was in prison – the longing, the missing. Aiden told you that you were obsessed with him. Your mother told you to forget him, that he would forget you. But somehow, he didn’t. You wonder if those bugs live in him too. You wonder if they are quiet or loud and if they gnaw .

You think that they are probably loud. You think this for a few reasons. The first is that you know for a fact, you can feel it in the lining of your soul, and from the evidence of his constant correspondence and care for you, that he is just as obsessed with you as you are with him. The second reason is the fact that you think but aren’t one hundred percent sure is that the last time you’d hugged him he’d gotten a little hard (you don’t want to think too much into that because he is only a man who had been deprived of touch for a long time – but still you wonder…). And the third is the way he looks at you like you are the universe like you are the last drop of nectar and he is the last butterfly left on Earth in a famine. 

That’s how he’s looking at you now in the passenger seat of his old, clunky pickup. You know that he wanted to drive, but you wanted to show him how well you could because he had never seen. Never had the chance to see how well you had fixed, maintained, and took care of his baby and of course he gave into you like he always does. He's smiling at you quietly, but his eyes contain multitudes. Right now mostly pride at your driving.

Joel is a bit different than how you remember sitting near him in the truck the last time you were together, him as a free man, you as a little girl. Somehow, even though you are obviously bigger now, he still seems massive and broad and stronger than ever. His biceps are huge – probably from all the time he had to work out in prison – and peeking out under his blue t-shirt that you brought for him, you think you see the outlines of some tattoos. You look a little closer. On his right arm is text in curvy black ink. You think it reads, “Sarah.” You smile softly at that. On his other arm is a strange orange shape that you have to squint at to understand. The edges of the object are jagged but they form a shape like a badge – and then you know what it is! It is the guitar pick you made for Joel as a child. The one that had pricked his finger and drawn blood and he stuck it in his wallet. You can’t articulate how honored you feel that Joel loved you enough to tattoo something you made for him on his body, permanently, forever. 

“ Well , the light only turned green damn near eons ago,” he complains about your driving, but you know he is just teasing.

There is hardly anything wrong you can ever do in Joel’s eyes. He grins at you a bit lopsidedly and you smile back. You also can’t help but notice the greying of his brown hair. It’s a bit longer than it used to be too and the length gives it a little bit less of a shaggy look. You think it suits him, makes him look a bit older and more distinguished than when he first came into your life twelve years ago. 

Objectively, you know it’s weird to think that your ex-stepdad who is a convicted felon is hot, but it’s just something you’ve always known and thought like that the sky is blue or that orange is your favorite color. You know it’s weird to think of someone who was? – is? – supposed to be a father figure to you that way, but it’s already second nature at this point. You’ve had a few boyfriends (luckily all of them had treated you right), but none of the feelings you’ve ever had for them have compared to the cosmic-sized love and affection you have for Joel and you’ve never known anything different. The years you spent longing, missing, loving, obsessing over, and aching for him in every way under the sun, can’t be healthy, you know this, but they have eclipsed practically every other relationship in your life. No one has ever made you feel as safe and protected and loved as Joel has. No one else has ever looked at you the way he does. No one else’s entire existence has revolved around you the way his has. The sheer devotion in his gaze is enough to make the butterflies inside you scream and beat their wings against your insides like hungry bats. 

And you especially know you shouldn’t have these feelings about another human being violent enough to be capable of taking a life – inebriated or not. You’re grown now and know the man he killed was a scum-of-the-Earth child predator, and secretly you’ve always wondered if there was more to the story than Joel told the police in the official court transcripts you’d read as an adult, maybe even something to do with you since you had been there that day in the repair shop when they met , but you haven’t pressed because you’re sure the whole thing is quite traumatic for Joel and if he ever wants to tell you, you know he will. And more importantly, you don’t really care. Drunken, violent idiot or not, you were already deeply invested and never intended on wavering in that. You’re not sure there’s anything Joel could do to get you to stop loving him and that both terrifies and excites you. 

“Okay, whatcha wanna eat?” you ask, reaching out to rub Joel’s shoulder gently. “Now that you’re free you can have whatever you want! On my mom’s credit card of course. Swear I won’t tell her.”

Joel grins.

“Deal,” he tells you. “I was thinking of a nice steak dinner.”

***

You pull into the fanciest restaurant you can find in the tri-state area and sit down to order a regal, all-American, full three-course steak dinner (though you’re both woefully underdressed – not that you care – though the host gives you a dirty look). All the while, you tell Joel about your major (psychology) and how you want to become a counselor for abused children.

“That’s sort of beautiful, sweetheart,” he tells you with a genuine smile that used to be so hard to coax from him, but now seems to float over to you so easily and gently like a kiss from something as soft as the wings of a butterfly. “Wanting to help defenseless children. You’re kinda like a guardian angel for them, ya know? Damn proud of ya! Also, these mashed potatoes are goddamn delectable!” he exclaims after taking an experimental bite. “Have I mentioned that prison food is shit?”

You smile bashfully and want to tell him that he is your guardian angel (you wonder if he thinks the same of you) and inspiration in a backward sort of way for wanting to help kids in the first place since he was so good at protecting you for the most part (though you obviously don’t believe violence is the correct answer in your line of future work). But kids need protectors. Somehow you know that deep down you forgive him for all of the violence he caused because you would forgive him for anything. And him being proud of you? You don’t think there’s a better feeling in the world than that! You burst with pride. Your real father never said that to you, but Joel doesn’t feel like your father now. He is something different entirely. Something that entirely belongs to you.

“And you’ll meet my boyfriend, Max, tomorrow,” you nod as Joel moves onto the steak and lets out a soft moan at how good it tastes. “He’s heard a lot about you.”

Joel’s face flattens.

“And who is this kid exactly?” he sneers a little, attacking the steak with his knife. 

You smile internally at the obvious jealousy he’s trying to hide from his voice.

“Hey, Max is a decent guy!” you insist in his defense. “He’s pre-law. Real smart. He’s gonna be an important person someday, I know it. You’ll get on.”

That last part is a bit of a lie since you’re not sure the two will actually like each other. 

Joel examines your face, looks deep into your eyes.

“All I know is, just because someone is important, don’t mean they’re good to you or for you for that matter.” 

You can’t help but think of your father, the most “important” man you know and how much of a degenerate he is compared to someone ostensibly average like Joel who didn’t even have a status symbol like a college degree and how perfect of a man you think he is, despite his obvious flaws. You blush a little, scrunching up your nose. 

“Just lookin’ out for you, sweetheart,” he continues, smiling at the way you do. “He ever fuck with you – he ever break your heart, you know just where to send him, alright?”

“Yeah, Joel,” you grin. “Don’t need you getting any more jail time though, alright?” “You may have made a valid point,” he concedes with a smirk. 

***

When you two enter your shitty, one-bedroom apartment it’s already dark outside. Joel actually grins when he notices his and your guitars have both been mounted on the wall. 

“We can play ‘em tomorrow,” you tell him excitedly. “If you want to, I mean…”

“Hell yeah, I do,” Joel smiles. “Wanna hear ya singing for me, honey. I missed that.”

You smile to yourself.

“You can have my bed, and I’ll take the couch,” you decide, getting back to business. 

“No way, babygirl. I ain’t taking your bed.”

“Joel, you’ve literally been on a prison mattress for eight fucking years! Can’t imagine that’s been very comfortable.”

“That’s exactly why I won’t mind the couch. That’ll feel like heaven to me. Don’t want you messin’ up your back, sweetheart.”

You open your mouth, but Joel beats you.

“And that’s that,” he insists. 

“Alright, alright,” you concede, knowing by the look on his face he’s not budging. If one thing, Joel has always been stubborn, but you like that about him. “D’you wanna watch a movie or something?”

“Actually, baby, if ya don’t mind, I’d like a quick shower. Been dreaming about taking a real, private one for ages.”

“Yeah, of course!” you nod, motioning toward your bathroom door. “Towels are under the sink.”

Joel makes his way inside and soon steam is billowing out the bottom of the door. 

You busy yourself with some homework, but just as you walk past the door to grab a glass of water, you think you hear Joel singing.

You listen more closely over the fall of the running water and make out him singing the chorus of an old ABBA song with a deeper, sadder tone to it,

♪ “ Slipping through my fingers all the time / I try to capture every minute / The feeling in it / Slipping through my fingers all the time / Do I really see what's in her mind? / Each time I think I'm close to knowing / She keeps on growing / Slipping through my fingers all the time…” ♫

You feel like such a sap, but you feel a tear forming in your eye at the way Joel must be thinking about his and your relationship and everything he missed in your life. You aren’t mad at him, but his absence hurt in a way you didn’t know you could feel. And you’ve never blamed him, really, but the lack of him for eight years of milestones really did kill a piece of you. You can’t help but imagine a butterfly at the bottom of your stomach with its wings pulled off. That’s how you felt all that time without Joel – like a butterfly without wings. A writhing worm of a human being, senseless and lost in a giant world full of forces you couldn’t control. 

You listen to Joel’s beautiful, deep voice until you hear him turn off the tap and you scurry away and act innocent. 

Joel emerges from the bathroom then with nothing but a white towel around his waist, steam from the shower floating lazily into the room behind him like precession. And oh, wow, is he ever a sight to behold. His hair is wet, dark brown flecked with grey, and starting to get curly from the moisture. You also can’t help but notice his broad chest, the expanse of it, the dark curls of hair, his bulking, muscular tattooed arms, his soft, hairy tummy, the V-shape of muscle that descends beneath the towel, his happy trail. You are overwhelmed by the soaking beauty of him. You’d seen Joel shirtless before, sure, but it had never felt like this . 

“Gon’ grab some of those clothes you bought for me and then maybe we could watch something?” Joel asks as you try so fucking hard not to stare at him.

“Sure!” you squeak, staring down at your notebook at the kitchen counter. 

You think you see a smirk from Joel, but you're not sure because your gaze is averted as he grabs some clothes to change into and disappears back into the bathroom.

When he reemerges, dressed in a wifebeater and shorts that accentuate his form, you two sit next to each other on your cushy sofa and surf the TV for something to watch. You feel Joel’s hairy knees against your jean-clad one and your heart flutters.

“Can’t believe I’m really here,” Joel says softly as you pass re-runs of Full House, a dog show. “Like I gotta fuckin’ pinch myself to know it’s not a dream.”

Suddenly you feel a large, weathered hand on your cheek.

“Missed you so much, babygirl,” he murmurs, looking into your eyes, massaging the line of your jaw ever so lightly, trying to hold your skittish gaze. “More than I even have words for.”

First, you avoid looking at him a bit bashfully, but then you stare up cautiously into those big brown eyes that feel like a familiar kind of home and you’re such a goner. You lean into his warmth, the warmth of his hand.

“Missed you too, Joel. So much,” you admit, never wanting this moment to end or him to let go of you. “More than anything.”

He leans forward a little and for a second you think…but then he’s leaning in and planting a heavy kiss on your forehead. A kiss that has weight to it – not those soft, weak ones that Max gives you haphazardly when he’s drunk or high – the only time he’s brave enough to be vulnerable with you. This kiss says something, means it so sincerely too. 

“Love you, honey,” he tells you. Then his face falls. “Sorry I…wasn’t quite there to say that to you enough in person.”

“It’s okay, Joel. I forgive you,” you insist. “I love you so much, dummy. More than you even know!”

But you truly do appreciate the sentiment. 

***

You settle on an old, black and white classic, Paper Moon, that’s playing on the TV Land channel.

Joel wraps a big arm around you and you snuggle close. You’re pretty sure there isn’t a better feeling in the world than being this close to him. Even after all these years he still smells like Joel; like home (and, if you’re being honest, a bit like your vanilla shampoo) .

You lean against him, your cheek pressing into one of his firm pecs. You begin to feel sleepy, drunk on the steady sound of his heartbeat, alive and beating against you and really here . 

You nod off.

***

At first, you don’t believe it, but you feel someone with strong, firm arms lifting you into the air, cradling your back and the insides of your knees in a bridal-style carry. The movement wakes you, but you don’t open your eyes because the safety and security you feel is too good to give up. Joel carries you to your bedroom and lays you down gently in your bed. You’re still in day clothes and shoes so Joel takes off your worn sneakers with a feather-light touch and places them at the foot of the bed – you can tell from the soft thumps it makes. He maneuvers you so tenderly under the covers and tucks you in with love and care. You wonder the last time someone did that for you and pull up a blank. If anyone ever did that for you it was probably Joel. Maybe your mom did when you were really young. Certainly your father nor Aiden ever did – your father hadn’t liked to touch you except out of anger – kind of like you had some kind of weird, contagious disease. Aiden’s hands had almost always hurt too, but not Joel’s – never his. 

He breaks you from your thoughts by pressing another kiss to your forehead. Your eyes are still closed so you aren’t sure, but you think he watches you for a second and lets out a long sigh. 

Then you hear your bedroom door close softly so as not to disturb you. You smile, you can’t help it, and drift back off into a peaceful sleep.

***

You wake up to a mumbling, grunting sort of sound. You look over at your clock and read 3:42 a.m. You sit up. You can kind of hear some muffled noises coming from outside your room. At first, you feel a little concerned – like maybe Joel is in pain or something as he is the only one who could be making the noises. The walls in your apartment are paper-thin. Like you could hear him sneeze clear as day if he were to because sound travels through the shitty walls so easily. You should have told him that. But what the fuck is he doing up at 3 a.m.? 

You creep (and you mean creep) silently to the door of your bedroom and open it the tiniest crack. The way your apartment is laid out, the back of the sofa is the first thing you see and the back of Joel’s head about six feet away. He doesn’t sound in pain the way he’s groaning and then you understand exactly what he’s doing. Of course the man is jerking off! After being in prison, stuck around people for so long of course he wanted a good, private wank. He isn’t looking at anything from what you can tell, no magazines or anything. Must be using his imagination. You wonder what he’s thinking about, if he’s gotten good at that over the years.

You should turn around, slink back into bed, and cover your ears with a pillow so the man can have some privacy. But, fuck, the way he’s grunting. His voice is so fucking deep and sexy and then he lets out a soft, vulnerable moan and you feel heat envelope your whole body. You think you hear a soft fuck roll off his tongue and your heart almost beats right out of your chest. You can hear the lewd slapping of his fist on skin getting louder and more intense. Then you hear a soft take it, fuck. And Jesus, you are so fucking wet between your thighs. You ought to be ashamed. Instead, you reach down your hand feverishly beneath the band of your jeans and soaking underwear instinctively to stroke yourself ever so slightly. You sigh in relief, but you are fucking gushing, your fingers covered in your slick. You can’t see anything besides the back of Joel’s head, technically, so this couldn’t be that wrong, could it? He lets out a soft groan, you can tell he’s holding back so as not to be heard, but the desperation in the pathetic little noises this hulking man is making is turning on every switch inside you. Oh how you want to go over there and take him in your mouth, to taste him. God you are so fucked up! You’re still touching yourself gently, not really fully going at it yet, considering the possibilities that could follow if you went over there. But before you can decide to do anything, Joel positively whines, moans, and grunts fuck, unh, and you think but aren’t sure, babygirl, and finishes.

You stop dead still in what you’re doing. Did he really say “babygirl” or was that just your horny-ass imagination playing tricks on you? You’ve never heard Joel call anyone babygirl except you. Was he really thinking of you? On the one hand, if true, mega fucked up. On the other, wow, incredibly hot. You think about going over there and asking him to finish you off or something as crazy as in all those dumb romance novels you used to read in middle school, but just as quickly as the idea comes to you, you hear another noise: loud snoring. Joel is asleep.

Typical.

You snort to yourself. That was so quintessentially Joel. You don’t want to disturb him now. The moment has passed. And only then is when you remember you have a fucking boyfriend. 

That doesn’t stop you from closing your door softly, crawling back into bed, and reaching your hand down beneath your panties to touch yourself. You stroke your clit, imagining it is Joel’s rough hand rubbing against you. Holy fuck. You haven’t been this wet since you used to touch yourself thinking about him in the past. It’s like he can reach every part of you, every layer in a way that no one else can. You know the whole thing is so fundamentally fucked up, but you can resist sinking into your favorite fantasy. The smell, the touch, the feel of him. You imagine the noises he was making so beautifully on the couch, feel heat coil through your entire body, and immediately cum hard without even sticking a finger inside yourself. 

The pleasure you feel is so unparalleled and real you have to cover your hand with your mouth not to scream out your powerful orgasm. 

Sweat drenches your whole body as you come down. 

God, you are so fucked.

***

The next morning you wake up to the wafting smell of someone cooking eggs. You emerge from your room a little sheepishly from last night’s events to find Joel behind the kitchen counter making eggs and toast. 

“Mornin’, babygirl,” he grins, his eyes shining like he’s excited about something.

And then you realize: that something is you.

You grin back.

“Good morning, Joel,” you beam at him.

You were so afraid things would feel awkward after what you heard last night, but nothing ever feels awkward with Joel. In some ways, he’s still just your average dorky, friendly old ex-stepdad, convicted felon. In other ways, everything about him sets your heart on fire, but it would be stupid to ruin what you have with him because you think it’s remotely possible he might be interested back. You know this is dramatic, but if he flat-out rejected you, you think you might die. Truly. Like those butterflies inside you would beat their wings so hard they’d burst your heart.

“‘Membered you liked ‘em poached,” he nods, breaking you from your thoughts. 

He scoops two poached eggs onto one of your plates and grabs a piece of toast from the toaster which he smears with butter like how you used to eat toast as a kid. You can’t believe he remembered.

“Thanks so much,” you tell him.

He grabs a few eggs and toast for himself and sits beside you at the counter. 

“Nice to be able to cook me ‘n you some real food,” he remarks. “If I eat one more cup o’ noodles in my lifetime I swear to God Almighty…” he trais off.

He’s looking at you like you put the goddamned sun in the sky. Your heart melts as you stare at his features, the faint curls in his hair. Oh, how you want to reach out and touch him. But that just isn’t how you operate. You won’t ruin what you already have.

The butterflies in your chest howl. 

***

` You lay out the day’s schedule to Joel. You have plenty of time to hang about (you see him eyeing the guitars), and then you need to go shopping for some actual clothes for Joel since the things you brought for him don’t constitute a proper wardrobe. Then you will go out to dinner and meet Max. 

Joel grunts a nod at that last part. He doesn’t seem too thrilled.

“Wanna show me what you’ve been playing?” he asks hopefully as he gets up to put both of your plates in the sink,

“‘Course!” you nod enthusiastically. “Max says I need to work on my fingerpicking so I can’t promise it’ll be all that good.”

Joel rolls his eyes.

“Show me what you’ve got.”

***

You sit down on the couch right next to Joel, each of you holding your respective guitars in hand, across your laps. 

Joel looks ecstatic to have his guitar back in his hands. He fiddles with the tuning and finger-picks a faint melody.

“Haven’t played one since the prison band. But then some dumb motherfucker clobbered another sorry son of a bitch to death with a saxophone so that ended our music privileges,” Joel explains. 

“Jeez,” you reply.

Joel is sitting so close you can feel his body heat. You just want to hear him sing, but he insists on hearing you.

“Joel,” you try as innocently as possible. “D’you remember how to do an A-flat? I forget and I need it for my song.”

“Sure, baby. Lemme help ya. Now put one finger on this bit of the 4th fret here,” he begins, snaking a big arm around your shoulders so he can maneuver your fingers to the correct position. 

His touch is electric. He feels so good and warm. You feel the intense urge to climb into his lap and embrace and stay there forever. His big caloused hand full of scars places your fingers correctly for the chord. The same hand that must have jerked himself to completion last night…You can’t help but wonder how much cum there was…The truth is, you know how to make an A-flat. You just wanted to feel him.

He backs away and you whine internally at the loss.

“There we go,” he says soothingly, reaching out to rub your shoulder. “That one can be tricky. Now where is my performance?”

Your nerves are squirming around inside you but you begin to play and sing to the best of your ability. 

You look into Joel’s eyes.

♪“ You've got a heart on fire / It's bursting with desire / You've got a heart filled with passion /  Will you let it burn for hate or compassion?” ♫ you sing. 

Joel watches you intently, sitting up straighter. 

♪ “What's the point with a love / That makes you hate and kill for? ♪

You sing as best and as seriously as you can. You look up and think you maybe see a tear in Joel’s eye.

When you finish, it’s clear Joel is finding it hard to select the right words to convey what he’s feeling. 

“I–” he tries. “That was…well, let me just show you how I can answer that if anyone ever could to a performance as beautiful as that.”

You blush. 

He begins to finger-pick a familiar tune, Instantly, you are transported back to eight years old in the back of Joel’s old pickup truck, listening to one of his many cassette tapes. It’s “I’ll Never Find Another You” by The Seekers. The original version of the song is pretty happy and upbeat, but the way Joel sings it slowly in his deep and weathered voice makes you feel sad and achy inside. The emotion behind his voice is palpable.

♪ “But if I should lose your love, dear / I don't know what I'd do / For I know I'll never find another you / Another you / Another you…” ♫ he trails off.

It’s your turn to tear up a little. It’s crazy to know he means every word he’s singing too. He sings like every word is his last breath. When he finishes you are crying a little.

“You oughta record an album,” you sniffle, leaning into his shoulder, throwing him a side hug.

“Wanted to be a singer,” he replies with a small grin, leaning his head against yours. “Back when I was young.” 

You sit back up straight.

“You did? I never knew that.”

“Don’t tell nobody really,” Joel replies, looking a bit sad you left his immediate proximity. “Just a stupid dream ‘n all that crap.”

“‘S not stupid,” you tell him. “You really have a beautiful voice, Joel. It’s like if I could take it, hold on to it, and keep it forever in my chest pocket next to my heart, I would.”

“That’s where I keep you, baby,” he tells you honestly.

He reaches up a big hand to yours and guides your own to place it right on his heart over his plaid shirt. You can feel it beating steadily below your palm to the rhythm of something as delicate and ferocious as the beating of butterfly wings.

“Right here.”

***

You take Joel shopping. At his insistence it is nothing fancy, just the local department store. That doesn’t stop you from dressing Joel up in ridiculous outfits of your choosing. You make him try on a Hawaiian shirt, some golf polos like your dad liked to wear, a pinstripe suit and he lets you because saying no to you has never been in his vocabulary. He acts grumpy on the outside, but you can tell he is amused. You know in the end, you’ll just end up buying every flannel shirt and jeans combo they have in the store, but it’s just fun anyway. You watch the fabric hug his torso, his tummy, the slight bulge at his waist. At one point he comes out shirtless and you try very hard not to swoon as you stare at the hair lining his chest and his adorable little tummy that you for some reason have the urge to bite. The band of his Hanes boxers sticks up past his jeans and he looks so good. He even lets out a genuine smile. The middle-aged sales attendant who is helping you even takes a good look at him which makes the butterflies inside you swarm possessively. 

Finally, you make him try on a proper white-collared button-down shirt and black dress pants with matching black shoes and he looks so good you’re actually at a loss for words when he asks you what you think. They hug the curves and lines and planes of his body so nicely. All you can do is ask him to put on a black tie to match and he does at your behest following some customary griping that he would never wear such a monkey suit in the first place. The effect that a fully dressed-up Joel has on you is not one to be reckoned with. He might as well be wearing the men’s version of lingerie for how it makes you throb and ache between your legs. He looks like a force of nature, commanding and tall. It makes you weak. All you say is,

“Looking good, old-timer.”

He snorts.

When you finally ditch all the fun clothes and grab the essentials, Joel offers to go pick up the car while you pay. He tries to give you his eight-year-old credit card, but you insist on treating him on the condition he buys the “monkey suit.” After a bit of prodding, he gives in and you go to the sales attendant to pay at the counter. 

“Your dad is really cute,” the sales attendant giggles to you as she rings up the pile of clothes. 

Your cheeks go a bit red. You don’t really care enough to correct her.

“He’s my guy,” is all you say absentmindedly as you fish out your wallet from your purse.

The sales attendant hands you the receipt and on it, you see a scrawled phone number.

“For If he’s single,” she explains. “I’m Barb from sales.”

You look her over. She’s close to Joel’s age and conventionally pretty with long brown hair. The exact kind of woman Joel should be dating should he choose to get back in the game. Your stomach twists and the butterflies howl inside you.

You take the receipt, thank her, and join Joel back in the car (who is more than happy to be driving this time). 

“What took so long?” he asks casually. “You two writing a novel in there?”

You think seriously about what you should do. You consider letting the bugs have their way and tearing the receipt with Barb’s number on it to shreds. But you want good things for Joel. The chance of you two ever being together the way you wish is so far-fetched that you know you shouldn’t even be thinking it. A literal pipe dream. He was your stepdad for christsakes. He literally fucked your mother! (Gross!). Barb is exactly the kind of woman Joel should be going after if he’s up to dating right now. You hand him the receipt begrudgingly. 

“Sales Lady likes you,” you sat flatly. “Name is Barb.”

“Oh,” he says softly like he’s a bit flattered. 

He looks back at her through the glass door of the store and she waves at him. He waves back politely. You feel your stomach twisting into knots. 

“You think…you think you’re gonna call her?” you finally ask as casually as humanly possible, dreading the answer. 

Joel looks over at you, his gaze sweeping over you. Then looks back at Barb through the window. He looks her up and down.

“Nah,” he says with a smirk, looking back at you. “She ain’t my type. Only need one girl in my life right now anyways,” he winks.

Was that Joel flirting? With you?

Regardless, you smile back and then sigh in relief and grin to yourself as you two drive away. 

Much to your satisfaction, Joel crumples up the receipt and throws it out the window for good measure. 

***

You get ready for dinner, to go to a nice Mexican-Japanese fusion restaurant that Max picked out. You wear a red dress that accentuates your figure and matching heels and to your shock, Joel reemerges from the bathroom in the white button-down shirt and black dress pants you picked out for him (you had been sure flannel would be part of his ensemble). God, he looks good. A part of you wants to ditch Max and just stay here with Joel forever. He looks you over, his dark eyes sweeping over your frame. You think there is a tinge of possessiveness in his voice when he says,

“ Christ, you look beautiful, babygirl.”

***

You arrive before Max and sit down at the fancy white table-cloth-covered table next to Joel, a booth facing you. Max finally makes an appearance a half hour late and sits down across from you, sweeping his hair out of his face, sliding into the booth. Joel is frowning and the butterflies beat their wings inside you nervously.

“Sorry I’m late,” Max announces, puffing out his chest a little and smoothing out his collared shirt as he looks down at his watch and then over at Joel. “Hey, baby,” he says to you. Then, “And, uh, nice to meet you. Joe, was it? Heard a lot about you.”

“Joel,” Joel replies flatly, eyeing Max.

Max is a good-looking guy, everyone says so, but he looks more like a little boy than you’ve ever thought as he squirms uneasily in his seat under Joel’s unrelenting gaze and launches into a tirade about his frat’s inter-mural lacrosse team practice and how his team should have totally won the scrimmage and that’s why he’s late. And of course, he was the one to score the most goals.

“And the taxi cab driver was a nightmare. Only spoke Spanish. It’s like, if you come to this country speak fucking English, am I right?”

You notice Joel’s jaw tighten and his fingers clench. 

“Max, that’s so rude!” you tell him, frowning. “We’re at a fucking Mexican restaurant!”

“Anyway,” Max continues, rolling his eyes at the interruption like he barely even heard you, smirking. “Where’d you go to school? What do you do for work, Joel?  Besides making license plates, I mean. Kidding!” he insists as you stare daggers at him. 

Joel leans forward ever so slightly but you slip your leg over his to hold him back and he calms down a fraction. It’s like when you touch him, everything tense in him melts away. 

Joel sits up straighter in his chair and looks at you, stretching his arm across the back of your seat protectively like it’s a casual thing and not an unconscious sign of possessiveness.

“I’m a mechanic,” he grunts unceremoniously to Max. “I mean, I was anyways…Didn’t go to school.”

Max frowns ever so slightly. 

“You didn’t go to college? You must’ve gone to trade school at least?”

“Nope. Picked up what I know over the years. Not everyone gets a free ride from their parents,” Joel smirks.

“Free ride?” Max snaps. “I’ll have you know I spend every summer interning at a law firm!”

“Yeah, your dad’s,” you can’t help but snicker.

Max’s cheeks turn a bit pink.

“At least I’m not a psych major,” he shoots back. “I mean, no offense, babe!”

“What’s wrong with psychology?” Joel snarls, his eyes darkening. “You ought to be proud to have such a thoughtful and intelligent girl like Y/N studying such a topic.”

It’s your turn for your cheeks to go pink. 

“Joel–”

“Who said I wasn’t?” Max sneers. 

That makes you feel a bit better. 

“I’m just saying, she could have inherited the second-best law firm in the tri-state area from her pops if she was pre-law like me,” he smirks.

Your smile fades, used to hearing this kind of shit from him. He knows you and your father don’t get along at all, but not the full extent of it. He also knows you don’t have an interest in pre-law. But you swallow down how you really feel.

“It’s fine, Joel,” you tell him, placing a hand down on his thigh.

It’s not that you enjoy the way Max has been talking to you, but you are so used to it from the men in your life that it feels like the common denominator must be you. And sometimes it feels like maybe they have some kind of point. And fighting back only makes things worse. You’ve learned that over the years the hard way.

“It’s not fine!” he snaps like he’s trying to get you to see sense, looking deeply insulted on your behalf. Your heart thunders in your chest. “This boy has never worked an honest day in his life and he’s telling you what you ought to be doing? Bet his hands are soft as a baby’s ass. He doesn’t know shit about you, babygirl.”

You may not know the hardship of labor that Joel has taken on in his life, but your hands are not smooth. They are full of scars. And Joel is right. Max’s are soft like silk. You look down at the most prominent, ugly scar on your middle finger. You don’t even know which man in your life gave it to you. But you do know it means something. Shows you survived something. Survived your stupid father too, not that Max seems to care.

But Max never loses. 

“Whatever,” he smirks dismissively. “Sorry I’m not some, like, common blue-collar worker. But I guess I should be taking advice from someone who became a fucking convicted felon ‘cause they drank too much one night,” he shrugs with a terrible sneer.  

You know it’s over then.

But Joel surprises you. Doesn’t immediately strangle Max like you thought he might. Simply stands up tall and silent over Max’s frame which has suddenly begun to shake ever so slightly in obvious fear, his blue eyes widening. Joel’s fists are clenched tightly at his sides. 

“Wouldn’t mind them sendin’ me right back in, ” Joel growls low. “Drunk or not.”

You shiver and Max positively cowers. 

“Got something to say? Don’t wanna take it outside?” Joel leers, smirking ever so slightly at the trembling boy before him. “I’d even let a little boy like you take the first swing.”

“Your stepdad’s a freak, Y/N,” Max stammers, not taking his eyes off of Joel. 

“Joel, it’s fine, okay?” you growl, not wanting him to actually hurt your boyfriend. Let alone in public! “Shouldn’t talk about Joel like that though, Max! Jesus!”

“Babe, I’m sorry, okay?” Max tries, eyeing back and forth between you and Joel. “I’m just trying to look out for you. I don’t get what you see in him with a real Dad like yours! Your dad has so much to give you!”

Look out for you? So much to give you? What could he possibly give besides a stupid law firm and two black eyes? 

Max looks a bit desperate. Him apologizing for anything is actually a new concept for you. Your heart twitches ever so slightly. He must actually like you a lot. But Joel would never do anything to hurt you if it was in his power. At least not intentionally, unlike your real father. 

“That’s it. I’m leaving,” Joel snarls moodily, turning around. “Don’t want to do things I might regret to Mr.Future-Corporate-Lawyer over here. Have fun with him .”

Joel looks deeply hurt. Like you are choosing Max over him or something. That’s never what this has been about, has it? Doesn’t Joel know you’d do anything for him? That the hurt on his face hurts you more than anything you’ve ever felt. Ever.

“Joel, wait!” you decide and disappear after him, leaving Max behind at the table.

“Babe, what the fuck!?” Max yells, but you don’t care. “Come back here!”

***

You ride back in silence, Joel’s hands turning white against his grip on the steering wheel. 

When you break through to the front door of your apartment, Joel finally snaps, the anger on his face directed at something that feels like you for the first time in your life.

“You really love that little son of a bitch, don’t you?” he sneers, uncharacteristically harshly towards you. 

“So what if I did?” you shoot back, a little shocked. “It’s none of your business, Joel. What the fuck?”

“It is so my business,” he snaps back. “That kid is no good for you, Y/N. He doesn’t understand you. You deserve someone much better than that who will actually go to the ends of the earth for you. He wouldn’t do anything for you.”

There is a desperation and vulnerability in Joel’s words and tone that you’re not sure you’ve heard before. He sounds like he had been waiting the whole car ride to say this, maybe even his whole life. You aren’t sure.

“Max does give a shit about me,” you try to convince yourself, getting angrier. “I mean at least he was there for me while you were gone.”

Joel flinches.

“How do you know what’s so good for me and what’s not when you dipped out of my life for eight years?” you continue harshly. “Because why? It wasn’t because you were drunk, was it? It was because you couldn’t control your anger. You never could.”

He stares at you.

“I controlled it for you,” Joel says so quietly you almost miss it. “ You are the only reason I did any of it.”

“What?” you stammer, not sure you want to hear more. “W-what do you mean, Joel? Any of what?”

A million thoughts begin to run through your mind, but you push them aside. Theories about the case and your ideas of Joel’s true nature all threaten to drown you but you push them away.

“Do you want to know why I really killed that sick son of a bitch?” Joel asks dangerously after a long moment of silence. You stare at him, your body frozen. He looks down at his hands, flexing them like he can still feel them punching or around that disgusting man’s throat. “Why I killed him all those years ago? It was no accident, I’ll give you that. Manslaughter, my ass. I killed that scum of the Earth because he threatened you . To do terrible things to you with those disgusting hands of his. So I broke each one, but it wasn’t enough. I killed him because I didn’t want you to get hurt and because I didn’t want you to live in fear of him. I was tired, Y/N. Tired of being afraid for you in a world that doesn’t let you do shit except fight back. I loved you so much, Y/N, it hurt me. It scared me, but I couldn’t let him hurt you. I’d die before I let anyone hurt you again, not him, not your father, not Max, not anyone. You have to understand. I love –” 

And then it’s all over. You’re not sure who moves first, but you think it might be you. The butterflies are rustling and thundering and screeching inside you and you kiss him. And Joel kisses back, devouring your mouth in his. You grab the back of his graying brown hair and pull him as close to you as you think is humanly possible. He cradles the back of your head so gently you almost lose your breath. And you are kissing and kissing and kissing and kissing. There is nothing else in the universe except this kiss. You have never felt anything like this in your life. It is like every butterfly inside you has gone silent. It is like the world has stopped just for you and something new is forming inside you.

Joel killed that vile man for you. To keep you safe. Like he always said or showed that he would. He gave his life away for you. He did the unspeakable for you.

He bites down on your bottom lip and all your brain can manage to coherently think is: more, harder .

But then Joel is breaking away from you slowly.

NO! your heart cries out, the delicious pleasure and pain draining away from you. The butterflies swarm dangerously inside your chest, worse with every inch he travels from your lips.

“Joel,” you whine. “What? You…you don’t want–”

“Don’t even say that, Y/N,” he growls dangerously. “Of course I want you. How could I not? I have spent my entire life wanting you in some capacity, baby, but I ain’t no good for you either, alright? I…” he says slowly like it takes every inch of his body to agree to say this. “I am not a good man, Y/N. I never have been. I’ve done wrong in every chapter of my life. You deserve someone much better. I don’t want to hurt you. Physically or mentally. Our history… The damage I’ve done…” he trails off.

“You don’t understand,” you swallow, tears forming in your eyes. “You have already loved and hurt me more than any human being on planet Earth. And yet somehow there is nothing you could do that would keep me away from you, don’t you get that? The Joel Miller I love is not a good man and I don’t care. I want all of you. All of the pretty and crooked pieces you try to hide away from me. You killed a man with your bare hands, arguably one of the worst things a human can do, and I don’t care. I still want you, Joel. Maybe even more because of it. No one has ever loved me the way you do and that is the love I want and it terrifies me.”

A single tear falls down Joel’s right cheek. You reach up to wipe it away, but Joel grabs your hand on the way reflexively, so you help him wipe his own tears away. 

“I love you,” you whisper.

“I would move the Earth for you,” Joel whispers back.

“I know,” you nod. “I’ve always known. I–”

But he is kissing you again before you can say another word, like a man starved. You hold onto his cheeks, your fingers caressing his stubbly beard. 

“ Joel,” you whine when you break for air.

“I wanted this so badly,” he says softly, grinning a lopsided grin. “Can’t believe this is real.”

“Me too,” you giggle.

You have to lean up a bit, but you press your forehead to his gently.

“Oh, baby,” Joel smirks. “You’ve made me the happiest man alive, ya know that? You like

it when I go a little rough, honey?” he smirks down at you in satisfaction, reading your mind.

You have to stop yourself from getting lost in the warm pools of his brown eyes, your panties soaked.

He reaches an affectionate hand down to rub your side softly.

“This okay, babygirl?” he coos, massaging his hand down your torso.

“I’d let you do anything to me, don’t you know?” you snicker. “Pain or pleasure, it’s all the same to me. I like all of that. I just want you so bad.”

“Think a safe word is in order,” Joel grins, leaning down to kiss your neck. “How about ‘butterflies?’” you suggest. 

“Sounds good to me, baby,” he grins, looking genuinely happy for the first time in hours. 

He leans down and places a calloused hand around your throat, not squeezing (yet – you hope) and plants soft kisses and bites down your expanse of skin. 

“All mine,” he mutters into your skin. “My beautiful babygirl.”

You feel his erection pressing against you through his black dress pants which makes you moan softly.

His hand trails over your crotch and he starts rubbing over the tight fabric of your red dress.

“That okay?”

“Yes,” you whine. “Want more, Daddy.”

Oh shit. You don’t mean to say it like that! You know it is about ten levels of fucked up to call Joel that, but how is it your fault that in every fantasy that’s how you think of him? You figure you’re probably past the point of weird and every other standard of decency, but you’re still afraid.

“Sorry…” you mumble. “I–”

“No, no, baby,” Joel says quickly. “It’s alright, you can call me whatever you want. I don’t mind, sweetheart.”

“You think it’s weird,” you mumble again, further stupid tears forming in your eyes.

He snickers. 

“Baby, I think we’re beyond weird at this point. Let me show you how turned on it makes me.”

Joel takes your hand and places it on his crotch. He takes your left hand, the one with the scar and you cringe a little, but he is rock-hard.

That’s good because you’re positively drenched.

“You’re okay, sweetheart. Daddy likes that more than you know, alright?”

You take your hand back, smiling, but you cover your scarred finger, shocked he will allow this fantasy for you.

“Whatcha hidin’ from me, baby?” he asks, noticing the positioning of your hands.

“I hate that scar on my finger. ‘S so ugly,” you admit.

Joel looks flabbergasted. 

“That’s the last damn thing I think of when I look at you. Ugly? Who in the fuck told you that?”

“How it got there is ugly. It’s marred skin, looks gross,” you mumble.

Joel moves to take out his cock, and when you nod he unzips and unbuttons his dress pants, pulling out his length. You have fantasized about his cock for god knows how long so you are more than excited to see it. He reaches to place your left hand with the scarred fingers around the length of his dick, which is thick, but longer than you expected. The leaking head is almost purple and your mouth begins to water as you stroke him gently.

“It’s part of you,” Joel tells you, his eyes connecting with yours. “I love it. It shows you survived. Gonna jerk off to it, Daddy loves it so much. And when I’m done you’re gonna love it too. Swear I’ve got so many over the years I can barely even count ‘em. Even got a few on my middle finger. Maybe even one from a certain guitar pick you made me. Nothing like that could ever make me stop wanting you, ya know that, right?”

You smile and take your time stroking him, wanting to show him how much you love and care for him, scars and all.

He grunts softly, closing his eyes, but then shoos your hand away with a feverish kind of want. 

“Yeah, touch yourself now, baby. Daddy wants to see how wet you are for him. With that scarred finger. C’mon, now. ‘S gonna make you feel so good.”

You do as you’re told and reach down underneath your dress and begin to touch yourself, especially with your middle finger. You stroke your clit and then your dripping wet slit. You moan softly as Joel’s eyes rake over you, taking in every sigh and groan you emit. The butterflies are forming something big inside you, which presses against the inside of your tummy and ribcage.

“Daddy,” you whine.

“Enough, little one,” Joel whispers. 

He takes out your hand and begins to suck the slick off of each of your fingers, groaning deeply, making intense eye contact the whole time.

“Fuck, angel,” he moans, having a tough time keeping himself together, you can tell. “Taste and smell better than like how I pictured. Like you were fuckin’ made for me, I swear.”

He reaches a hand of his own down to stroke himself and his moans become more desperate. Finally, he sucks on your middle finger covered in your slick and groans so deeply you feel like you might cum untouched. He stares into your eyes. 

“ Mine, ” he growls possessively. “Oh, shit! Gonna–”

Then he takes your left hand and leads it to meet his throbbing cock. You stroke him, harder this time, fisting his thick length, moaning softly and that does it for him.

Joel cums all over your hand, oozing white globs of cum over your fingers, once, twice, three times. 

“Fuuuuuck, babygirl,” he groans. “Oh, shit, I’m so sorry! Couldn’t help it. Yeah, suck it off, baby. That’s it,” he commands, and you do, licking up all of his cum, even the part that got on your middle finger. 

When Joel comes down he still looks half-crazed with desire.

“Sorry about the, uh, early release. It’s been a while since anyone touched me,” he babbles in embarrassment, his cheeks flushed pink. “But I don’t wanna hear shit about your gorgeous hands ever again, you hear me, babygirl?”

“Yes, Daddy,” you nod, snickering. 

He looks like that one word has set his entire universe back in order again. You honestly don’t care at how fast Joel came. You love how much it shows he wants you. And his heady taste is making you weak. You could taste him for days and days and never get tired, you’re sure.

“Can still get you off though, don’t worry. Shoulda let you cum first, but I couldn’t help it with the things you do to me. Goddamn. Can Daddy eat your pussy, baby?”

You grin, but then your face falls. 

“Didn’t shave,” you admit, feeling dirty. 

Max hates your hair down there.

Joel looks at you in confusion.

He laughs, his face scrunching up.

“Oh, sweetheart. You think I care about that? Only little boys give a shit about things like that. Not men.”

You shiver.

“Really?”

“Of course I don’t care. Didn’t ya hear what I just said? C’mon now. You can lie down on the couch.”

You follow instructions, pulling your dress over your head to reveal white lace panties and no bra. 

You move to take the panties off, but Joel stops you, staring at the lines and curves of your body. 

“Jesus, fuck,” he growls, taking you in.

You think you see his cock twitch ever so slightly. He palms his softening length instinctively.

“Beautiful,” he snarls, pushing you back on the sofa. 

You happily fall backward. 

He lies on top of you, his white button-down shirt pressing against your naked body tantalizingly. 

He bites your lips roughly and you groan against him.

“Daddy’s mouth,” he commands against you.

“Yeah, duh, Daddy,” you snicker.

As if he even needs to say it! 

He kisses down your neck expertly and you begin to shiver and whine, your pussy aching with need and neglect.

He stops at your breasts, sucking and biting each one.

“Daddy’s tits,” he declares, snaking a finger over the lace panties that protect your clit. “Of course,” you respond, moaning softly, grinding needily against him.

He continues lower, licking down your breasts and over your tummy which he plants with kisses that tickle and then one hard bite on your hip that leaves behind teeth marks.

“Daddy’s body,” he impresses upon you.

“Yes, Daddy. Only yours.”

“No more of that little shithead, Max,” he snarls, an inch above your clit.

“No more Max,” you repeat as he presses kisses down your pussy, still covered by soaked white lace panties. 

“Only Daddy.”

“Only you.”

“Good girl,” he growls.

He finally removes your panties and begins to eat and suck your clit and pussy so hard and enthusiastically, swirling his tongue around your bundles of nerves that you grow exponentially closer by the second.

“Joel,” you whine. “Oh my God.”

It doesn’t take long. The second his calloused hand is pressing a finger and then two inside of you it’s over. You were so needy for him that you could have even cum from just his mouth alone, but his hands are what send you over the edge. And something different happens as orgasm crashes down upon you. The butterflies all join together and transform into something bigger and softer, caressing your insides, cooing. It feels like a breathing white dove is spreading its wings inside you, the tips of its feathers brushing against your rib cage. And you cum harder than you ever have in your life. 

Pleasure engulfs you in currents, facilitated by the gentle flapping from deep

inside your body.

“ Joel,” you moan. “Oh my God. Daddy, pleaseee–”

“Please what, baby? Make my princess cum again? I would eat that pretty little clit and

pussy every day for the rest of my life if I could, fuck. God, so perfect and you’re so fuckin’ tight. Look how fucking hard you make me, angel.”

He takes one of your hands and places it on his half-hardening cock. Not going to lie, you are partially shocked at his recovery, but another part of you seems to know that if there was anyone in the universe that could do that to him it had to be you. 

“Never got hard again from anyone I’ve ever fucked before…” he trails off dreamily like he can read your thoughts. “You’re so gorgeous, babygirl.”

“Not so bad yourself, handsome,” you tell him lazily, pressing a kiss to the side of his mouth as you pull him closer to you. 

The heat from his body keeps you so warm and tender and for a moment you lie on the couch, Joel’s still-clothed body pressed to yours.

“Can you fuck me, Joel?” you ask, squirming against him needily.

“You can’t say that shit to me, baby,” Joel groans, his cock getting harder. “Not quite ready yet.”

“Lemme help you out,” you offer, pouting. 

You reach down and stroke his half-hard length and then bend over and press a gentle kiss to the tip of his cock.

Joel swears, staring down at you with so much adoration it pours off his face. No man has ever looked at you like that before. You’re certain. Perhaps no man ever will again? Not like that.

“Shit, baby,” Joel babbles stupidly, his eyes threatening to swallow you up in that beautiful shade of umber. “Never gonna forget this moment,” he grunts as you begin to suck his cock properly, feeling it slowly get hard enough to throb between your lips with each thrust of your head and gluck of your throat. 

You stare up at him, your eyes wide and wanting and Joel lets out a soft, vulnerable moan as you begin to really suck him and take him down the walls of your throat.

“ Unh , babygirl, fuck,” he whines and you have never quite heard Joel so desperate before. “Gotta pull out or I’m gonna cum. Holy fuck.” 

It sounds just like it did the night you accidentally spied on him jerking off. 

“You’ve been thinking about me a lot, huh, Daddy?” you ask, releasing Joel from your mouth like he wanted, though his hips buck forward ever so slightly with desire, the tip of his cock just barely scraping against your mouth. He grunts.

“Maybe so,” he replies, looking a little guilty. “Don’t know how not to these days.”

“Heard you on the couch last night,” you whine yourself. “Had to touch myself ‘cuz of it, Daddy. I’m sorry.”

Joel reaches out a hand to cup your crotch and rub against your slick pussy.

“That’s so fuckin’ naughty, baby,” he groans. “Look how wet that made you. All for me.”

You steal a glance at his cock and find that the tip is weeping too. And he is so fucking big compared to the size of your hand. Fuck!

“You were thinking about me, weren’t you?” you whisper.

“All about you, baby,” Joel nods in agreement, his hips twitching ever so slightly. “‘Bout touching you just like this.”

He slinks two big fingers inside you and you moan deliciously, the feathery wings of the newly-formed dove fluttering against your insides. 

“Gotta stretch you a bit more,” he grunts into your throat, pushing in a third finger. “Daddy’s so big and you’re so tight, angel. Don’t wanna hurt ya. Not too bad at least. Not yet…That’s it, pretty girl, fuck,” he grins when you slide back on his thumb in pleasure which had traveled to the rim of your asshole “Good girl, so good for Daddy. So naughty too. Don’t think Daddy won’t punish you.”

“Want you to hurt me, Daddy,” you moan. “When you fuck me. Please fuck me hard. I want all of you – pain and pleasure. One hundred percent Joel. Joel, please, I need–” 

And Joel does stop for a moment.

“Never hurt you in a way you didn’t beg for,” he tells you seriously. “You know that right, baby?”

You stop your rutting against him and look into his eyes.

“Are you kidding? You would protect me with your dying breath. I know that, Joel. Never been afraid of you since I’ve really known you. Not once. I mean: fuck; you gave up your whole life for me. To keep me safe, for fuckssake. In every word you say and don’t say to me I can feel how much you love me.”

 “I do love you so much, babygirl,” he whispers, nuzzling your forehead. “If I had to, I’d do all of it all over again if it meant I’d get you. I’ve made mistakes, big ones, but protecting you, loving you was never one of them.” 

Warm tears trail down your cheeks, but Joel licks and kisses them away. 

“Wanna feel me inside you?” he asks. “Don’t wanna go too fast, but I need you, baby. Needed you for so long…Sweet little pussy’s just cryin’ for Daddy, huh? Gonna fit me just like a glove, I just know it — if you wanna…”

“Yes, please, fuck me, Daddy! Please, Joel Wanna feel you—ah!” you moan as Joel shoves his entire length into your pussy in one hard thrust eagerly. “Oh my God, please fuck me harder!” you moan, reeling from the deep blend of pain and pleasure of him sinking inside you, clenching down around the thickness of him. “Joel, please!”

He pauses, sweat glistening on his brow, sneering.

“You really want harder?”

You shiver. The way he says that makes your heart beat wildly in your ears.

“Because babygirl, I would treat you like porcelain if you want it so. I will never hurt you, my angel, my gift from god, my goddamn sweetest heart please know I will break my fucking hands before they would hurt you, before I would ever hurt you in a way that you didn’t want, no matter how much it hurt me. Do you understand me?”

“Of course, Joel. But you want it too,” you smirk. “You aren’t innocent in this, are you?”

“Fuck, of course i’m not innocent. I want you, babygirl. In every way there is to want another. Want every inch of you, inside and out. Wanna mark you up so the world knows you’re mine, honey. Want everyone to smell me on you and know I marked you, moved in you, darlin’, please, see, I’m no fucking Hemingway, I didn’t go to college, I’m not like you with words, but I need you to understand that I mean this with my whole chest and heart. Really, I’m not a big talker, never was, babygirl, but I need you to understand I—”

  “I do, you dumbass fucking fool!” you shout, giggling at his desperation. “I’d understand you even if you were speaking another language. You’ve made your intentions loud and clear. I don’t want a Hemingway, I want Joel Miller!”

You pull him in for a kiss and he thrusts in you again a second time and you end up moaning clumsily in his mouth, but you can feel him smiling , smiling like some dumb idiot against you and maybe you called him the correct insult because he is a dumbass fucking fool for you. And it turns out you must be one as well because you are smiling like an idiot for him too.

“ Joel,” you moan as he begins to move inside you, hitting deep places that Max or any of your previous exes never went. Pleasure is tracing itself along the line of your stomach. “Oh my god, I love you so much,” you babble and you’ve never meant that more than you do now.

You can feel Joel coming apart above you, plowing into you, sighing deeply. His grunts and moans and thrusts spur on the intense pleasure. 

“More!” you moan. “Oh my god. Harder, please, I need–”

Joel plants rough bites on your neck and kisses too like he’s trying to consume every inch of you. 

He places a large hand around your throat questioningly and you nod.

“Beg for it,” he commands in his deep, sexy voice — the voice that’s been in every wet dream you’ve ever had. You think you might just pass out from the sound alone. 

“Choke me, Daddy,” you whine as pathetically as you possibly can, batting your eyes. “Oh, please, I could cum from just this, but I want more. More of you. All of you.”

“As you fuckin’ wish, baby,” he snickers in amusement. “Bet no little boy ever fucked you like this, huh?” he growls, continuing his rough pace, slamming against your walls, his eyes growing wild.

“They don’t compare to you, Joel. It’s always been you. In every orgasm. Fuck, never felt like this! Shit! Shit!”

Joel reaches out his large scarred hand and applies gentle delicious pressure to your throat. You know even something like this can be dangerous, but you crave that feral look of violence in his eyes and the power that comes with it. You want him to own you completely – every inch of you. You want him to mark you just like he said he wanted to because he is yours and you are his and has it ever really been any other way? You can’t remember properly from the pleasure rushing through you, the white dove inside you spreading and fluttering its wings, cooing softly. You think it’s only ever been what you feel now.

“Joel, Joel, fuck!” you scream, orgasm building in you.

“I know, babygirl. I know,” he coos himself into your mouth.

He pulls you closer, presses his nose to yours, his lips to yours, biting and kissing like a starving man possessed. He looks into your eyes and it’s there! That look of pure predator closing in on its prey, that look of ownership but also the most intense love you think you’ve ever witnessed. You would recognize that look anywhere. Your starved brain cries out for oxygen beneath his iron grip. 

“Gonna cum again, angel,” Joel growls. “Gonna make you cum so hard you’re never gonna forget who you belong to. Whose pretty pussy this is.”

He is pounding so hard against your cervix and his dick is so big inside you and the pressure of his hand squeezing around you is so overwhelming and the scent of him could make you faint straight then and there, but you let go and feel yourself cumming in enormous waves as you squeeze down around Joel’s prick, the pleasure more intense than any single bodily experience you’ve had.

“ Daddy ,” you whine breathlessly, tears trickling out of your eyes. “Oh my god!”

“You’re mine, babygirl, always have been–FUCK!” he shouts into your throat, collapsing on top of you.

And then you feel him starting to empty himself inside you, painting your sensitive insides with trustful after trustful of hot cum. You’ve never felt so helplessly full and sticky in your life, the brilliant pleasure billowing through every inch of you. You want to feel like this every day, stuffed full of Joel’s cock, so close to him you can feel his heartbeat against yours, the one true place you belong. 

“So beautiful, babygirl,” he whispers in an exhausted type of awe.

When your words come back you reply,

“Shut up, you’re the hot one,” through a snicker. 

You look down at your body, covered in purple bite marks and bruises forming like galaxies across your body. 

Joel snorts. Then he sits up on the couch and you lean your cheek against him. You lean up to kiss his cheek and he blushes ever so slightly.

“I said a lot of stuff, Y/N, but I want you to know that I meant all of it,”

“Yeah, you probably said more in the last hour than you’ve ever uttered in your entire life,” you tease, sitting up.

“I’m serious,” he snickers.

“I am and was too,” you nod. “I’m so glad that you’re here with me — that we did this. I know that our…origin story is weird and unconventional and some might argue straight up wrong, but I need you, Joel. I don’t care about that or think I could go back to pretending to be what we were.”

“You think I’d want you to act like that?” he asks incredulously. “You think I want this to just be a one-time thing?”

“Of course not,” you smirk. “But as close as we are I can’t actually read your mind. I mean…how are we going to be together realistically?”

“I’m not sure,” Joel admits, frowning a little. “For now it has to be a secret unless you want your mother or brother in jail for murdering me this time around. But someday, I dunno. It’s dumb…”

“What?”

“I just have these thoughts sometimes about you ‘n me. I…” Joel’s cheeks turn a bit pink. “Had a lot of time to think in prison, you know? And I’d Imagine us living on a ranch somewhere quiet out in the country with a flock of sheep. I could work at the tractor and auto-body repair shop that’d be out there, you know, in this dream of mine, and you could be a counselor at a local school if that’s what ya wanted. I don’t know, l know it sounds silly, but nobody would know or bother us there. But I want you to finish school and have the best life possible, babygirl. I’d wait a thousand years for you, but if you didn’t want me anymore the way we are now, I’d respect that. And if you’d allow it, I’d still be there for you just in a platonic sense — or just there for you however you want because I can’t imagine my life with you in it. I’d do whatever it takes, brokenhearted or not. I just can’t be separated from you like that again. A day longer in prison and I could’ve keeled over and died. And it’s crazy how much I mean that.”

“I don’t ever want to be separated from you again, Joel,” you agree. “I know the original plan was for you to find work and get an apartment of your own and I would love for that to still happen, but with you being intimate with me in every way – even if it has to be a secret. I don’t pretend to know what the future holds, but I need you in mine. I’ve never needed something more than I need that. Understand?”

Joel pulls you into a hug and leans his chin on the top of your head. He kisses it then your forehead. You lean up and plant a kiss on his throat and then his Adam’s apple.

“Don’t mean to get too ahead of ourselves now. We can take things a day at a time,” he mumbles into your skin.

You yawn contentedly, the tiredness clawing at your eyes, so unbelievably spent.  

“I like hearing about your dreams and I’d go anywhere with you, Joel. But I am kinda dead from how good you just fucked me. Take me to bed?” You ask exhaustedly into his chest.

“Of course, babygirl,” he smirks down at you.

***

You don’t let go of Joel all night long, burrowed up against his chest, his heartbeat against your ear. And he doesn’t let go of you either. After the most intimate night of cuddles and snuggling you’ve ever experienced as well as the deepest and most restful sleep you’ve had in ages, you wake up to Joel gone from the bed. You frown, having wanted more than anything to wake up in his strong arms. Fear grips your insides as you wonder if he finally realized last night was a mistake and that you were never meant to be together in the first place (what you fear more than anything). A stupid vulnerable tear comes to your eye, but then you cock your head and hear music playing. Guitar music. 

You think of your apartment as shitty, but truthfully you care deeply about your little private space and one of the things you do actually love the most about it is the tiny balcony that overlooks a measly courtyard and part of the city. That’s where you find Joel in the deck chair holding his guitar, strumming it lazily.

“Mornin’, beautiful,” he says, fingerpicking a melody that scratches at the back of your mind with familiarity. 

“Morning, handsome,” you tell him softly, plopping your smaller hand down on his shoulder. 

The city hasn’t woken up yet, the soft glow of morning shining beams of light onto you and Joel, filling you with warmth. You sit down in the deck chair next to him, bathing in the sunlight.

“Whatcha playing?” you ask curiously, crouching to sit up on your knees.

“You know the song ‘Hallelujah’ by Leonard Cohen?” Joel asks in that beautifully deep voice of his. 

He isn’t even singing yet but you could listen to him forever. 

“‘Course,” you nod. “It’s a classic. You used to play it for me once in a blue moon.”

“Know what the word ‘Hallelujah’ actually means?” he asks. 

You think about it for a second.

“It’s about praising god and all that, right? Why d’you ask?”

He pauses, both his words and fingerpicking. 

“Babygirl,” he begins and you can tell he’s about to say something serious. “You know I’m not too good with words, but I need you to know this: I’ve never had much to thank god for in my life, except for Sarah, you know? But then He took her away…”

You place your hand on Joel’s and he looks at you sadly, but appreciatively. He flips it over and holds it in his giant paw of his own marked-up hand. 

“And I was so fucking angry. Nothing left in me. The only good part of me gone. I was a broken man. And I hated Him. But then He, despite the shit I’ve done…He gave me you . And I know our road hasn’t been easy or fair, and the pain you’ve felt and I have felt but…I guess what I’m trying to say is you are the reason I believe that any type of…goodness— of holiness— can exist in this universe. And I’m not a religious man, I don’t believe in most of that dogmatic type of shit, and I don’t think you do either, but I do think someone or something is up there and I wanna thank them for you. Does that make sense? Do you wanna hear what I mean? I just feel so damn grateful.”

A tear you hadn’t noticed was there rolls down your cheek. 

“Of course it does and of course I do,” you tell him.

You think perhaps this is the closest thing he can do to bearing his soul to you. 

And then he leans over and kisses the tear away and begins to fingerpick the familiar melody.

♪ “I heard there was a secret chord…”♫

You listen to his deep weathered voice as the sun grows higher in the morning sky, casting both light and shadow over Joel’s wrinkled, handsome face. The light trails over you too. You feel the dove inside you cooing contentedly, dusting its wings gently against the edges of your insides. 

♪There's a blaze of light in every word / It doesn't matter which you heard / The holy or the broken Hallelujah…”♫

When he finishes he places his large, scarred, calloused hand in yours and you hold it between your own scarred fingers.

“Thank you, Joel,” you tell him, meaning every word. “I think there’s hope for us, you know? I don’t believe in hippie-dippie type stuff, but something in this universe did bring us together. And I’ll be forever grateful for that too, ya know?”

Joel squeezes your smaller hand, his big fingers engulfing yours as the dove coos louder inside you.

“Babygirl, you know that I ain’t a good man, or a rich and educated one like maybe you thought you’d end up with, but I am less of a broken one because of you and I’m never letting you go. If we’re together, I think we have a chance.”

A/n:PLEASE COMMENT LIKE REBLOG IM BEGGING IM PLEADING IM CRYING DID THE SMUT LIVE UP TO YOUR DREAMS????

PART 1

PART 3 (coming soon)

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[readychilledwine]

Hello. Hope u r feeling good. I was wondering if u could write something again. This one is particularly personal to me. Picture it. Reader is daughter of any one of the bat boys. If cass Or az then single dad. She has been bullied since the day she started school as a child because she has a problem when it comes to studying. As she grows it's her looks. The ic, notices her behavior is starnge. Like, snapping at small things, crying when they correct her or raise their voice. She has never told anyone because she doesn't want them to stress out and the bullies said that she was so worthless because she keeps running to her father for everything. Her dad finds out soon. U can decide the ending.

Oh my love 💜 all three of our boys got you.

Head Held High

Summary - After being born with Feyre's looks, but illyrian wings, Rhysand and Feyre's daughter faces challenges wherever she goes.

Warnings - bullying, signs of low self-worth, anger, inferred adhd or other learning issues, older brother coming in to do the older brother thing while protective dad does the dad thing

You had him wrapped around your finger the second you came into the world.

His beautiful baby girl, wide eyed and filled with curiosity and happiness.

You truly were a stunning little thing, but how couldn't you have been with parents like Rhysand and Feyre? He loved you even more for being the small version of your stunning mother. Her nose, her lips, her hair. The only piece of you that screamed you were his were those star flecked eyes.

Your childhood was filled with love and joy. With you constantly praised for your looks, for your smarts, or your imagination. Rhys and Feyre never thought anything of your wild mind. They loved it. They loved how sporadic you were, how one thing was never enough for you to stay focused on. They loved your random outlook on the world.

To Rhys, Feyre, and your significantly older brother Nyx, you were the world. They sheltered and loved you, thick and thin, protecting you from darkness and meaness at every turn.

It wasn't until you began lessons that you truly saw how unkind fae, especially those your own age could be.

You hated school and struggled to focus during lessons. You were busy, you told yourself in your little mind. Busy day dreaming of far away places, daring sword fights, a knight just like daddy or Uncle Az and Cass, mainly Uncle Az if you were honest with yourself, rescuing you from enemies.

Your grades reflected that. As did how your peers treated you.

"Silly y/n," one girl giggled when she thought you couldn't hear. "It's a good thing she's pretty, 'cause she's dumb."

"Her mommy couldn't read either. Maybe that's why."

In class the jabs were subtle enough that your teacher didn't notice, and when they did, nothing was done.

No one at home noticed either. No one noticed when you began to hide away more, when you stopped playing with your big brother after school. No one noticed when you weren't dreaming about being rescued anymore, but instead dreamed of running away.

Things did not get better when you were sent to Illyria, Uncle Cass and Aunt Nesta in tow, to begin training. You knew comments about your intelligence would be coming. You'd never expected comments about your looks, though.

"Imagine looking like your mom and trying to pass as an Illyrian."

"Her mom isn't even that pretty."

"Never said she was either."

You'd hide behind your wings constantly in public. You'd started eating alone. Stopped talking at home.

Cassian had tried asking what was wrong one night. His large hand running up and down your back as he spoke gently enough to you to shatter your aching heart a little more. "Just leave me alone!" You finally screamed at him. "I just want to be alone."

He wrote it off as homesickness, calling for Rhys and asking the High Lord to come visit you.

Rhys noticed it then.

He noticed the way you tucked behind your wings in shame. He noticed you eating alone. He noticed you never had a training partner.

He noticed your loveliness.

"Darling," a soft knock came at your door. "We need to talk." You curled further into your bed, your father refusing to enter or leave without your permission.

"Little love, please," his voice was pleading with you. "Let me in. Let me help you." You felt the gentle claws on your mind and blocked him out harder.

"Y/n, please. Don't shut me out." You'd never heard his voice break like this. The Crack that indicated he was about to cry. "I know what it's like to feel like you're the outsider here. I know what being this lonely feels like and how it eats away at you."

You heard something soft hit the door. "Babygirl, please. Let me come talk to you. Let me settle any feelings you're having. Let me help you. Please don't make me force myself in."

Shadows appeared in the corner, blue reflecting in them every so often. "I have her, Rhys. I'll come get you in a second." Your father yielded then. Yielded you to the arms of the Shadowsinger. "I've been watching for a little while." He admitted, "we've been worried for a few weeks."

He sat down on the bed next to you. "You stopped writing all of us. I know I violated your privacy and independence, but we all know how being out here can be. We all knew there was a risk of you being targeted the way we all were and the way Nyx was."

Azriel placed a hand on your back, rubbing small circles. "Your dad is the most worried. He did not want to send you here. He wants to bring you home."

You sniffled hard, finally lifting your body and shifting to sit next to him. "It's not any better there. I'm stupid in Velaris. I'm ugly here."

Azriel's jaw tightened. "Let me go get Rhys." Your uncle stood, walking to the doorway and leaving it open as he spoke softly down the hall.

Your dad was a mess when he entered. His hair was sticking different directions from how frequently he was running his hands through it. His face was tear stained. His shoulder slumped in defeat as he practically dragged his feet.

Azriel motioned for him to sit next to you, shutting the door so the three of you were alone and pulling a chair from across the room to sit in front of you. "Tell him what you just told me, little bat."

Your breath hitched as your hands began to shake. You could feel your eyes watering as you looked down to your unkept nails. "Taking me home won't make a difference."

Your dad pulled you close to him. "It would make all the difference, darling. We'd just send you back to regular-" Azriel shook his head at his brother, silencing him.

"Tell him the rest of what you said, y/n."

"I get made fun of in Velaris for being stupid, I get made fun of here for being ugly. It wouldn't make a difference."

Your father's world shattered then and there. Azriel stood, leaving the room to allow you to time alone now that the truth was out. Silence hung in the room. Interrupted every so often by your soft sniffles.

"How long," your father's voice broke again. "How long have you been getting picked on?"

You shrugged. "Since you started sending me to lessons."

He nodded, looking up. "I'm sorry I didn't notice, darling."

You didn't respond, only holding yourself tighter. He started. "I learned around your age, that holding my head high and not letting others see how much their cruelty hurt me tended to lead to it ending, but There is no merit in either of those statements"

He pulled you close to him, resting your head on his shoulder. "Are you easily distracted in school? Yes. Uncle Lucien always pushed us to teach you outdoors in a less formal environment with private help. You would have thrived in that setting. That is on me, y/n. I picked a public lesson setting so you could socialize." He paused. His jaw twitching. "You are not stupid in any sense, though, y/n." He motioned to the countless books stacked on your dresser. "Those are all educational texts or intense world building fantasies that you have taken the time to notate in a color system with separate journals filled with notes. That is not the action of someone who is stupid."

He tilted your face to him. "And you are not ugly. There is not a single court or location in this world where you do not meet or exceed their beauty standards. Anyone who says otherwise is either in denial of their attraction to you or blind. I never want to hear you say you are ugly ever again, darling."

A loud slam interrupted the heartfelt talk as your other brother entered the room followed by your cousins. "This is nice and all pops, really it is. Touching." Nyx walked to you, getting on his knees in front of you. "Their names, sis."

Rhys hid his smirk. "I never said your uncles and I weren't also going to do this, Nyx."

The heir rolled his eyes. "You can have their piece of shit fathers. I get the ones my age." Nyx grabbed your chin forcing you to look into his eyes. "Their names, y/n."

You gave them to him without hesitation. "Be nice," you said softly.

Nyx froze in the doorway. "You have mom's heart, y/n. I have dad's. You handle it with kindness and grace, I'm going to handle it with my fists and intimidation."

Your father pulled you close to him again. "Never change anything about you, little love." He stood moving in front of you and tilting your head up by your chin. "Just hold your head high, y/n. Hold your head high, walk away, and let dad and Nyx take care of the rest." He placed a kiss on your forehead. "Now, if you excuse me, I have a camp leader to beat the shit out of."

He paused at the doorway, turning to you. "I'll be right back. I promise. Maybe you could make us some hot chocolate and we can have a cuddle date like we used to?"

Your eyes lit up for the first time in years, making him smile and laugh. "There you are, darling. My beautiful girl."

[olenvasynyt]

Similarities between Elain and Lucien

Alright, this has been something I’ve wanted to talk about for a while now because it is a huge reason why I ship Elucien. I think many people don’t realize how similar they are to each other, which might be driving many people away from the idea of Elucien being a thing in the future.  And I know a lot of people dismiss or deny these similarities too.  So I want to point them out and talk about them!  And some of these may be a little bit of a stretch but a lot of them I feel are pretty significant and intensional on SJM’s part.  

Love for parties and socializing

They are both social people.  They are seen to enjoy parties, enjoy being in crowds. 

Tamlin made Lucien emissary because of how social he is.  He has many friends and allies across Prythian, he enjoys the parties and social aspects of court.

Page 161 of ACOTAR: “I claimed Lucien as my own—-named him emissary, since he’d already made many friends across the courts and had always been good at talking to people, while I…can find it difficult.”

Page 32 of ACOMAF: [Tamlin] assured me that he hated the gatherings as much as I did, and that Lucien was the only one who really enjoyed himself.

Elain also enjoys parties and socializing, we see it the most often in ACOTAR:

Page 256 of ACOTAR: “The socialite season, which ended a few weeks ago, apparently, full of parties and balls and luncheons and gossip, gossip, gossip.  Elain had told me all about it at dinner the night before, hardly noticing that it was an effort for me to get down my food.”

She plans the ball Papa Archeron throws in Feyre’s honor and at that ball, we see how social she is and how much she enjoys it.

Page 268 of ACOTAR: But I tried to smile, if only for Elain, who flitted about the room, personally greeting each guest and dancing with all their important sons.

After the sisters are changed into Fae we lose sight of that side of Elain but in ACOFAS, Nesta points it out to Feyre when they are having a fight about Elain, that their sister used to love crowds and parties, she didn’t always hate being in crowds like Feyre claims.

Traveling

Traveling is one of their interests.  As I said before, Lucien has many friends across Prythian, he has traveled a lot during his youth and as the emissary of Spring.

Page 160 of ACOTAR: “…so he spent his youth doing everything a High Lord’s son probably shouldn’t: wandering the courts, making friends with sons of other High Lords…”

And Elain has talked about her interest in traveling.

Page 256 of ACOTAR: “’These bulbs came all the way from the tulip fields of the Continent.  Father praised that next spring he’ll take me to see them.’”

Dismissed by the people around them, especially growing up

They are dismissed by the people around them.  When they were growing up, they were not wanted or needed by their families.  They weren’t really taken seriously.  

Lucien explains that he wasn’t wanted or needed during his youth:

Page 106 of ACOWAR: “As the youngest of seven sons, I wasn’t particularly wanted or needed.  Perhaps it was a good thing.  I was able to study for longer than my brother allowed by brothers…I could train for as long as I liked.  I learned what I could of the land from its people.  Learned about the people, too.”

and Feyre explains in Sliver Flames that their mother treated Elain “as barely more than a doll to dress up”.  Their mother saw little to no potential in Elain:

Page 130 of ACOSF: “I mean, it was always that way with us, and our mother.  She only had an interest in Nesta.  She ignored me, and saw Elain as barely more than a doll to dress up.”

I don’t think their childhood was the same, Beron and Lucien’s brothers were a lot more harsh to him, and Nesta said that Elain never received the same abuse that Nesta did from their grandmother.  But I find it interesting how Lucien says perhaps it was a good thing he wasn’t wanted or needed.  Lucien wasn’t held to a high standard as his brothers were, he wasn’t used for politics as much as they were.  He was and still is underestimated.  And I think all of this applies to Elain too, not only with mother Archeron and their grandmother but also in general, with her sisters and the IC.

Good relationship with one of their parents

They are the favorite child of one of their parents.  LoA loved Lucien the most because he was her son from Helion:

Page 456 of ACOWAR: “The Lady of Autumn’s favorite son—not only from Lucien’s goodness.  But because he was the child she’d dreamed of having…with the male she undoubtedly loved.”

And Elain was loved the most by Papa Archeron I think, she was his princess, she was the only one who treated him kindly:

Page 17 of ACOTAR: “He was smiling mildly at his beloved Elain, the only one of us who bothered to really speak to him at all.”

Clinging on to their old lovers

And this similarity is probably the most important imo: they are stuck in the past clinging to their old lovers that they lost.

Lucien is often thinking of Jesminda to the point where he is stuck on her; when he is in front of his mate alone for the first time, he compares her to Jesminda, who has been dead for centuries.  He has had plenty of lovers before but Jesminda is a huge part of his heart. 

Page 249 of ACOWAR: “But there she was.His mate.She was nothing like Jesminda.”

I think his guilt influences his thoughts but he cannot get over her and the life that he was going to have with her.  He expected to marry her, he thought they were mates, and when he is in front of his true mate he has feelings of passion and attraction but he is disheartened because Elain is not Jesminda.  He can’t stand to be in the room with her.

Page 250 of ACOWAR: “But he couldn’t breathe as she faced him fully.She was the most beautiful females he’d ever seen.Betrayal, queasy and oily, slid through his veins.  He’d said the same to Jesminda once.”

And Elain is stuck on Grayson.  She was expecting to marry him, she thought he loved her and all of that falls apart because she got her fae mate. 

Page 498 of ACOWAR: ‘I don’t care what his name is, you are his mate.’‘It means nothing. I don’t care who decided it or why they did—‘‘you belong to him.’‘I belong to no one, but my heart belongs to you.’ Grayson‘s face hardened.  ‘I don’t want it.’He would’ve been better off hitting her, that’s how deep the hurt in her eyes went.

She wishes to be human still and having a mate is the most fae thing you can have and this is disheartening to her and she avoids Lucien because of this.  

Page 167 of ACOFAS: “‘He doesn’t know me.’‘You don’t give him the chance to even try to do so.’“‘I don’t want a mate.  I don’t want a male.’She wanted a human man.”

This is super super significant to me and it is going to be a conflict when we get Elain’s book.

Relationship with violence

I think they both avoid violence, maybe even hate it, but they understand that it is necessary.  They tend to be more diplomatic, especially with their loved ones and allies, but they will tear their enemies to shreds.

Page 282 of ACOTAR: “Lucien told [Amarantha] to go back to the shithole she’d crawled out of.”

Page 653 of ACOWAR: “Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-teller to the hilt through the back of the king’s neck as she snarled in his ear, ‘don’t you touch my sister.’”

Aspects of their personalities

Their personalities are pretty different but they have some key similarities that I think stick out:

Can be reserved and also bold

They can be both reserved and bold.  We see Lucien being courteous in ACOWAR when first arriving in the NC but he obviously did not trust the IC.  Holds back his frustration and sadness with Elain.  He avoids talking in conversations but you know he’s definitely thinking.  And Elain is very much like that too, and her boldness is starting to grow more which we can see in ACOSF.

Encourages people to have an attitude with them

With Lucien’s boldness and Elain’s newfound boldness, they encourage people to have an attitude with them to kindle a better relationship.

Page 92 of ACOTAR: “Do you ever stop being such a prick?” I (Feyre) snapped back.Dead—really, truly, I should have been dead for that. But Lucien grinned at me.  “Much better.”

Page 597 of ACOSF:  “‘Oh, fuck you,” Nesta snapped, and then choked.Elain blinked.  Nesta blinked back, horror lurching through her.And then Elain burst out laughing…’You never said such a thing to me!  I think that’s a good sign, isn’t it?’”

These two parts are so similar to me!

Good, loyal people

Lucien is very much a rake and can be a bit of a snarky asshole, but he can be a gentleman.  He is loyal, generous, and overall a goodhearted person.  We see this when he helps Feyre UTM, at the Cauldron with Elain.  When he and Feyre first arrive in the NC in ACOWAR, he is wary and curt at first but he is polite, courteous and respectful after.

And so many people talk about Elain’s goodness.  Feyre admires that she still has these traits after everything which is this quote, Nesta talks about it in ACOSF, so do the IC.

Page 258 of ACOTAR: “I marveled at it, actually—that those years of poverty hadn’t stripped away that light from Elain.  Perhaps buried a bit, but she was generous, loving, and kind—a woman I found myself proud to know, to call sister.”

Their innate goodness despite everything they've both been through is something they have in common.

I think to end this, I have to talk about what these similarities mean, and my biases are coming in as a person who loves Elucien, but I think these similarities are set up for a reason.  They are similar in a lot of ways and the differences they have will cause conflict and spark and chemistry that SJM loves to write in her romances.  There has been a lot set up for them.  Lucien travels often while Elain does not, Lucien has met Papa Archeron and admires him.  I didn’t mention this before but both of them have so much symbolism with light which is super significant.  And as I mentioned, conflict.  Conflict is important in SJMs romances, she said in this interview in 2020 that a love interest needs to have conflict and a spark. The issues they both have with clinging on to their old lovers and avoiding each other are going to be brought up, why wouldn’t it?  Lucien is a male that is rakish and loves banter and SJM loves that in a love interest, so I think there is a huge potential of him bringing out Elain’s boldness once they start being comfortable in each other’s presence.  And we have already seen it before but Elain can bring out the gentleman who shows his love.

You don’t have to like Elucien, you don’t have to see any chemistry, but their story isn’t over yet, and whether we get them as a couple or not, these similarities are going to be important, the conflict they have will be explored.  And I’m very excited.

This is a summary of my TikTok video I made btw! If you wish to check that out, my username on there is also olenvasynyt. And if you found this post because of my TikTok, then hi lmao

[elvestoneanzelote1]

Hi! I absolutely love your work! Please take your time and feel free to ignore this!

So I was hoping to request dad Fukuzawa and big brother Ranpo with a teen reader. Basically the port mafia found her when she was like 6 and took her in cause of her ability. But she never obeyed them cause she didnt want to hurt anyone. But then when she was 10 she was put under Dazai and I think we can all tell where that went. So then she’s like heavily traumatized and won’t do anything without someone telling her, won’t even eat.

So then fast forward Dazai leaves the port mafia and takes her with him but since she hasn’t committed any actual crimes that would cause her to go into hiding the government office guy put her with Fukuzawa while Dazai went into hiding. Basically the two are neutral to her at first then get really protective.

(I had the idea that they try to work up her confidence but not too much so to keep her as their sweet obedient little sister/daughter)

Feel free to ignore this! I know it’s a lot. Again love your work and take your time! Don’t over work yourself too!

A:n; thank you for the request and sorry for the late as some work came up pilling.

Either way, it's Platonic Yandere Fukuzawa x Teen fem! Reader x Platonic Yandere Ranpo x Platonic Yandere Yosano The agency members present during the time

The first thought for Fukuzawa was... Why?

He never thought of babysitting I mean you might be around 13 when he was given the responsibility more likely by Takeda (I think that was the guy's name?)

Your e/c dull eyes bored at him contemplating on what you have gone through... Only to find out who you were and why you were brought By later on the years.

Ranpo often pokes you as you stay still like a robot unless told. He whined about how you were so quiet and tried to send you for errands on his part.

Though he kinda feels guilty whenever he sends you out it is like he was ordering you.

Maybe he was but later on he try to be less ordering for sweets errands and tried to talk to you by showing the new sweets and share it with you.

The first time he ever felt a sense of proudness when you smile while eating one of the special sweets he brought during his out case.

A sense of understanding was there of the fact your mother died before you even saw her face and your father had an accident meeting his demise.

Unlike Kyouka you don't even speak unless told! This was overwhelming.

Like an elder sister Yosano was who talk to you and ask about your health and even treat you well.

She knows how it is to be traumatized and she wonders what and who has pushed you to be completely out of emotions.

Instead her most concerns was you didn't even felt pain when your hand was burn not a well nor flinch.

Truly you were completely out of emotions or sort.

But don't worry Yosano will always be there to treat you and make sure you take care of your health.

Ranpo on other hand sometimes ask about your ability which your gaze often fall to the side.

But after a year of been together you somehow open up. You can talk more likely small talk or a nod or shook but it was a progress!

You also smile a bit! It was not a waste of efforts.

But... One time your tears fall from your eyes as your quivering hand holds the hem of the sleeves of Fukuzawa.

You almost thought you would lose another happiness when he brought up that it would be better as he mention about you getting adopted.

You eventually spoke your mind to Fukuzawa was taken aback by your words.

"Please... I will obey every command please don't take my happiness away"

Happiness.

So you do find the agency your happiness.

Fukuzawa pat your head as he went to your level and nod.

"I won't take away your happiness... But staying in agency will risk your life"

"My life has always been"

"...why do you want to stay for?"

"..."

"What is it that you find happiness from?"

"My happiness... I found from Yosano-san... Edogawa-san, Kunikida-san Kenji-san and you"

From that day onwards you ought to never leave the agency even if the certain someone told you to leave.

Even though it was shocking for Fukuzawa to hear it on your part some part of him was happy that you finally found happiness... And it is from the agency.

You could say... You are now apart of the agency as a whole now.

.

.

.

.

You start to open up and do stuff on your own. It was a good progress but... Ranpo make sure you also listen to them so that you will depend on them especially him!

After all you call him, Ranpo-niisan! And he promises to be your number one brother and make sure no one take his place.

It took him years he can't let someone just pop up in your life and take the place of being an elder brother.

Yosano often brings you along from cooking to shopping to you sharing apartment with her.

After all she finally have someone to dote on and the fact you (she insist after Ranpo pressuring and succeeding in calling him big brother)

So she ought to be look out on whatever you have to learn and the day when your first period come she will be first to reassure you and take care and explain to you.

Fukuzawa well he is like your father figure I mean he literally adopt any Orphans by now so yeah.

He does make sure your ability is not misused or misinterpreted by people.

You can reassure yourself that you have a family on your back to look after you.

Despite the fact you can protect yourself with your ability.

They just want to make sure you are okay.

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A:n- t-ats all take care!!

[velarisnightsky444]

Scorched Shadows: Part 3

Eris x Azriel'sSister!Reader

Summary: Y/N is the younger sister of Azriel. She has shadows just like him, and is also a spymaster for Rhys. When she meets Eris, she initially hates him, but after a bargain is made between them, things begin heating up. This takes place before Under the Mountain.

Warnings: overbearing brothers

Series Masterlist

Part 2 || Part 4

»»————-　♔　————-««

Year 3

Morrigan had never been overprotective of you like your brothers were.

You'd been six when you and Azriel were released from that cell and taken to Windhaven. You were the youngest, and everyone treated you as such.

But never Morrigan.

The day you turned 16, Morrigan had dragged you to a bar to get wasted with her. Rhys’s mother had sent you both to the cabin for a week after that.

But with Morrigan, you could speak freely. You didn’t have to worry about scandalizing her like you did with your brothers. You could barely say a bad word around them without them acting like you'd killed somebody. To them, you were still the scared little girl who didn’t speak until she was 11.

“Mor, you’re still hungover, we’re not going out again tonight,” you scolded the female. She pouted.

“Getting drunk is exactly what I need to get rid of this hangover,” she insisted. You giggled as your shadows swirled around her.

Rhys’s talons gently caressed your mind, and you let them in.

Come to my office, now.

You tried to keep from being anxious at the tone. You got to your feet, explaining to Mor that you’d be back.

Your shadows were giving you no intel as you made your way to his office, and his talons never left your mind.

You recalled when you were first brought to Windhaven, how terrified you’d been. You didn’t speak back then, and they were all concerned about you.

The first time you’d had to leave Azriel’s side in your entire life was his first day of training. You had been so upset with no way to express it.

Rhys had caressed your mind, thinking it would help. But it had terrified you, and you'd thrown a screaming fit that only his mother had been able to calm.

For years, you would cry anytime he tried to enter your mind. But centuries later, you had become used to it.

“What’s going on?” you asked as you finally entered the office.

All three of your brothers were there, and none of them looked happy.

They’re upset, a shadow whispered.

No shit, you replied. You winced as it tugged a strand of your hair in response.

“We’ve received a letter from Eris Vanserra,” Rhys announced, holding it up.

You chewed on your bottom lip, anxiety eating at your gut.

“He invites you to a ball being thrown in his honor,” Rhys explained. “According to him, you owe him a favor.”

“Shit,” you grumbled, earning a raised brow from Cassian.

“Why don’t you tell us exactly why you owe him a favor, dear sister?” Rhys asked you, setting the letter down.

“A few weeks ago, when I went to meet with Graham, Eris found me waiting,” you admitted. “He told me Graham had been beheaded.”

“And you didn’t tell us?”

“I did tell you!” you objected.

“No, you told us your shadows informed you of Graham’s death,” Azriel corrected. “And you certainly didn’t mention Eris Vanserra.”

“I knew it’d just upset you all,” you explained.

“Damn right,” Cassian agreed, narrowing his eyes.

“Why do you owe him a favor, Y/N?” Rhys demanded, impatience wearing his voice thin.

“I said if he didn’t turn me into his father, I’d owe him a favor,” you explained, sighing.

“Well, you’re not going to this ball,” Azriel decided. You glared at him.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” you snapped.

»»————-　♔　————-««

You liked to talk to the portrait of Rhys's mother nearly every Sunday. It was stupid, but you enjoyed catching her up on your week. Even the mundane details.

Rhys's mother, Selene, had been everything to you. She was never a replacement for your own mother, but you still loved her like one. And she loved you like a daughter. She had rescued you from your father's keep after Azriel had been sent to Windhaven, you left behind to rot in that cell, only six years old and all alone. 

“I just hate how overbearing they are,” you were telling her. “I didn’t even want to go to this ball, but now that they’re forbidding it, I have half a mind to go.”

Her beautiful, violet eyes stared back at you. Even if it was just a painting, it was comforting.

“I hate Eris, but I hate being told what to do more,” you went on. “You know that better than anyone. The only thing holding me back is it might hurt Morrigan if I go.”

Every interaction you had with him, you thought of your cousin. Your best friend. Guilt would eat at you with every word you said to him.

“But she might understand,” you debated. “I’m just doing it to spite my brothers. She does things to spite her family all the time.”

It may not have been a fair comparison, but it was true.

“You would never have forbade me from a ball,” you mumbled. “I miss you.”

»»————-　♔　————-««

Scorched Shadows Taglist: @the-sweet-psycho @hnyclover @lilyevansstudygroup @esposadomd

Eris Taglist:

Comment to be added to the Scorched Shadows or Eris taglists!

»»————-　♔　————-««

[intimidating-fettuccine]

How was it at first when Toby came to the mansion? (Bro after being bullied and abused his whole life I couldn't think he could not be afraid of someone/everyone) so did Tim and/or Slender do anything to help him be less paranoid/afraid of people?

(Can this be a part 2 if you have already done it yet? 🙏)

This has not been written yet~ I hope you enjoy, this is gonna get angsty

I’d like to start this off with a refresher of my Toby’s lore. He was raised in a violently abusive household, by a father who was an influential CEO and dreamt of the perfect family, and created it by violently abusing them every moment of every day if they acted out of line. Starvation, mock executions, isolation, and sensory deprivation/assault, were everyday common things for Toby, but the things that struck the harshest chord in Toby were watching those things happen to his mother and sister. So, needless to say, after being raised in a household like that Toby was not in any sort of stable condition. He was on the run for about two years before meeting Slender, and his general condition hadn’t improved at all.

I think Slender probably came into contact with both Toby and his mom (as Toby was still receiving support from her after her freedom was obtained, and he usually lived with her in secret), which is just about the only way I can imagine things going somewhat peacefully. I think his mom stayed with him at the mansion for at least the first few months to smooth things over. Toby did not have an easy time, though. With his fear of authority, he was incredibly rigid and nervous and refused to form any sort of connection with anyone. He was treating all other members the same way he treated his dad, acting firm like a soldier and not doing anything unless “commanded” to, saluting them and acting as though they were his superior. Witnessing his behavior was quite unnerving to mostly everyone else there as they tried to get him to relax, but if anyone other than his mom got too close to him he’d begin rapidly apologizing and begin to hurt himself as a form of “punishment”. Toby’s actions were disturbing and very emotional for everyone in the mansion, and if his mom hadn’t been there to help they would have been much worse. Tim and Slender both worked hard to get Toby accustomed to a normal life, but it took several years for them to get him relaxed to the point where he is today in present time. Slender looked after Toby when he wasn’t working, checking in with him and working with his mom on a regular basis to try and help him understand that everything would be okay now.

Tim took up most of the work in helping Toby adjust, which is why the two of them are so close today. Being around lots of people, especially in an enclosed space like the mansion, made him extremely nervous and scared at a constant level, so usually when Tim would work with Toby he would do so outside. Toby was never allowed outside, so he has no conception of how he’s supposed to behave out there. It’s the one place where he can usually relax and think and act however he wants to, which was advantageous for Tim when it came to deconstructing Toby’s trauma and self-abuse cycle. Tim became a very solid older brother figure for Toby, just talking with him and taking him out to do things, letting him experience things he never got to. He was the first person besides Toby's mom that he formed any happy memories with since killing his father and escaping, and it did a lot for Toby mentally to be able to have that. He quickly became the first person Toby started forming any sort of trust with, and Tim got it to click in Toby’s brain that if Tim trusted everybody else, then Toby could trust them too. It would still be a slow process and like I said take several years, but Slender and Tim did their absolute best to help Toby get to where he is today.

[ghoulishfrk]

PAIRING — WARNINGS — WORD COUNT!

〘 Romantic Hobie x Miles Older Sister , Platonic Spiderverse cast x Miles Older Sister | Slight spoilers | ~ .7K words 〙

MASTERLIST !! PINNED POST 🎧💿

ੈ ✮ ˳ Lulus Notes :: Repost, set after ASTV

✩°｡ Tagging :: @punkologist , @neptunes1nterweb , @honeybleed

Miles older sister who takes care of him. She’s the one who knows when something is up and is the one always giving advice.

Miles older sister who had a hunch something was up with her lil brother but wasn’t sure what exactly until she caught him red handed. Him still on his suit in his room.

Miles older sister who had to take a minute to process that her little brother was fucking Spider-Man and understood why he didn’t tell her or their parents.

Miles older sister who becomes his girl behind the screen. She tells him whenever a villain is causing chaos and calls the cops to get the villain he apprehended.

Miles older sister who gets her brother out of suspicion and trouble with their parents, always having a convincing excuse.

“Mija, have you seen miles?”

“Oh, he went to the store to buy more ice cream cones since he ate mine.”

Miles older sister who never leaves her brother suffer by himself. Always hearing out whatever is bothering her brother and giving advice only an older sister could.

Miles older sister who gets caught up on the whole multiverse stuff by her little brother and learns of all the other spidermen her brother considers his friends.

Miles older sister who meets Peter B. Parker and Mayday and is immediately in love with her. She always counts on him to take care of Miles and is ok with babysitting Mayday.

Miles Older Sister who, when she meets Miguel, is not the friendliest. She’s not over how he treated her little brother and doesn’t hide it. She later on goes easier on him since she sees how he’s genuinely sorry and embarrassed by how he reacted.

Miles older sister who is a bit doubtful of Jess. She didn’t think someone who was a mother would’ve acted like she did towards a kid. She learns to trust her later on.

Miles older sister who meets the other spider kids closer to Miles age and immediately approves of them. She’s even willing to make sure they don’t get in trouble with their families.

Miles older sister who becomes an older sister to Pavitr, Gwen, and Peni. She listens to them and gives them advice like she does with Miles. She’d go insane if anything or anyone hurt her kids.

Miles older sister who meets Gwen and immediately likes her. She gives her advice on wooing her brother and getting the approval of their parents.

“Miles loves drawing so you can never go wrong with giving him stuff like drawing books and markers. Oh, and you should call our parents by our last name. Mom hates when kids call her Rio.”

“Wait, seriously? Why didn’t Miles tell me?”

“Cuz he was probably too whipped to tell you lmao”

Miles older sister who, when she meets Hobie, clicks with him in a different way than when she meet the others.

Miles older sister who gets flirted by Hobie and responds with flirting back, only to get caught by Miles and seeing his hilarious reaction.

“Seriously? My sister?!”

“Aye, calm down Peter Pan.”

“C’mon man! Why it gotta be my sister?”

“Miles relájate nene.”

“What do you mean relax?! If i hadn’t come in you probably would’ve been eating each others faces!”

“PFFT-“

Miles older sister who sneaks in Hobie through her window, having to shush him so her parents don’t hear them and have her father storming in.

Miles older sister who gets caught by Rio one day, with her and Hobie having been sitting on her bed talking about random things.

Miles older sister who has to introduce Hobie to her parents. Rio and Jeff are apprehensive at first, Hobies punk appearance not being what they expected for their daughters boyfriend.

Miles older sister who’s glad Hobie gets along with her mom and tries to be civil with her father and tries not to get into politics or fights with them.

“So, Hobie, what do you do for a living?”

“Kick fascists ass and play in my band.”

Just Miles having a nice and caring older sister <3

© all rights are reserved to @gyal-bunny. Do not steal, modify, copy, and/or repost my works anywhere.

[starboyjun]

batboys as brothers in a isekai manhwa

my first post, please be nice lol.

i have given a lot of thought into bruce and the robins and what type of brother they would be in a isekai family manhwa.

you are the youngest daughter in the family and recently have trasmigrated into the body of the youngest princess of wayne. you had a reputation of being a "wicked" and "brat" in the family. you decided to make sure your family loves you to avoid being killed and having a cushion if something goes wrong in the future.

so... you change and here is how i think the bruce and the robins would treat you.

included in this post: bruce wayne, dick grayson, jason todd, timothy drake, and damian wayne.

ft. a short snippet of alfred pennyworth, cassandra cain, & stephanie brown

bruce wayne - the overprotective father similar to: regis adri floyen (father i don't want to get married)

i think bruce would be suspicious of you at first. like all horrible manhwa dads, he neglected you a lot but he has his reasons. personally, i dont think he's one to hate you if you "killed" your mother during childbirth. i think he would just distance himself. he would give you money and all the support but never be there for you. which is why you think he hates you. there is a lot of misunderstandings, but after seeing that you're making an effort to change he'll be a tsundere and be very clingy and overprotective of you. especially when it comes to potential suitors.

richard "dick" grayson - the one who always supported you similar to: raymond millainare (the tyrant wants to be good)

dick has always been a kind brother, in both lives. though when he actually found proof of you being a horrible person he sort of distanced himself from you. he wants to think you're a good person but you find ways to prove him wrong. he tries to talk to you but you hated him. so when you changed, he had a optimistic view and tried to see if you really changed. you showed how you changed and now he's back to being the brother you once had. he's overall very supportive over you and loves to spend time with you. he's not as protective as some brothers but, he has that brotherly protection. he's the person that knows you best, even knows you more than you do.

jason todd - the one who hates you the most similar to: reynold eckhart (villains are destined to die)

jason hated you, he hates everyone in the family but thats besides the point. jason is known to hate you but he actually doesn't. he secretly just hates his father for how he treated you. he knows how it feels for bruce to treat his children like mere guests at the estate. up to a point, jason never truly hated you. he just wanted to make you into a better person but you proved him wrong. he was the last to believe that you are a brat until a incident happened. then jason just ignored you. he couldn't believe it, his little sister was a brat. when you changed, jason was suspicious, he didn't know what to believe. you showed him time after time that you weren't the person you were, this took jason a long time to believe. he would probably be the last one. jason now loves you dearly and is probably the most protective over you, nobody touches his sister. jason likes to teach you self defense (against bruce's will) to make sure you know how to "kick those evil suitors ass" and protect yourself from his enemies.

timothy "tim" drake - the one who didn't know you existed similar to: cassis pedelian (a way to protect the female lead's older brother)

tim is undoubtedly the most loyal to bruce (imo) so much so that he forgot you existed (he can't forget damian bc he actively causes trouble). you don't make a big scene other than inside the castle, i feel like he helps bruce so much that he forgets about what happens outside of the office. if he's not in the office, alfred is forcing him to eat, sleep, and bath so he has no time to think of you. once you changed, he caught a wind of it from the chattering of the servants and so he decided (be honored he went outside his office for you) to investigate. he watched you in secret and even joined mealtimes to see you and observe you. tim found that he enjoys your presence and often asks for you to hangout in the office (to bruces excitement) just for your company. tim is very loyal to you too now, and would do anything to keep you safe. that includes secretly burning marriage proposals.

damian wayne - the problem child who also thinks youre a problem similar to: ixion (lord baby runs a romance fantasy with cash)

damian views everyone (with the slight exeption of bruce) as a peasant. he has a hard exterior with a inside of just wanting to prove his worth in the family. when you were born damian pretended he didnt care for you but secretly escaped his room (he was under room arrest for his last incident) to go see you while you were sleeping. as you grew up, he noticed how similar you were to him (though he grew up with his mom for most of his life) he wanted to protect you and shield you but he was afraid his "dirty" hands would taint your innocence. so he watched you from afar, watched you grow into a person too much like him, too arrogant, too reckless, too much like a brat. damian was the only person to not hate you. he just pretended to hate you. so when you changed overnight, he was suspicious, who was this person? how did my sister change overnight? so he tested you, test after test. you passed all of them with flying colors. he wanted to know more about you, instead of just staying in your shadows (plus he was jealous of his other brothers spoiling you) so "insists that you go play with him" or "insists that you hug him." he's also a very overprotective one, he's the one that dick has to tie down when you get a marriage proposal. he steals the flowers and gifts you receive and burns them (or sells them to selina for a hefty price) bonus: alfred, cass, and steph

when cass and steph visited for the weekend, they were surprised about the change in the atmosphere, no maid was sobbing or bruised up. they knew of your reputation in the castle. so they decided to not avoid you but hangout since they heard of your change by alfred. alfred sung of your praises and that you stopped damian from cutting down the bushes in the garden. once they hung out with you (besides the annoying visits of the brothers) they decided to stay for the weekend to get to know you more. after all, you're a unique child, one who will be known for generations. part two: batfam as types of isekai romance tropes

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for separating my boyfriend from his family⁉️⁉️

My boyfriend is not perfect by any means but when it comes to how shitty his family is to him, he is an absolute saint of patience. His mom pretty much uses him as her personal servant and cleaning crew, and she also forces him to be the parent & bad guy to his little brother. And whenever his little brother gets mad at him, his brother and his mom will talk shit about him like. In the same room as him directly in front of him. I know it happens because I have heard it. His dad treats him like he's a stupid little child, while also trying to convince my boyfriend to continue living with his shitty mother and brother, despite my boyfriend being a fully grown man who pays bills.

If its not clear, I hate these people. Its a miracle from the lord above that my boyfriend ended up even slightly well adjusted. The issue is that these people are his only family. His mom cut off her whole side of the family, and his dad's side is all in the middle of Mexico so my boyfriend cant visit them often and doesn't have much of a connection with them.

Him and I have been together for 3 years, and we are planning our future, most notably planning on living together here soon. He has been slowly learning not to tell his parents things, because everything turns into an argument, but he told them about us planning on moving out together, and it was a whole thing. They tried to demand that, instead, I move into his house with him and his mom and his brother so that he doesn't "end up in debt forever". Also in retaliation, his mom has been extra demanding, as if she's implying she can't survive without him (she can, she's fine, not disabled just shitty).

Here's where I may be the asshole. My boyfriend refuses to set boundaries, because he doesn't want to lose access to his only family. In return, I have been setting my own boundaries around his family. All of these boundaries limit their access to me, and my boyfriend and I's future home, and thus limit their access to my boyfriend whenever him and I move in together and start our own lives together.

I don't want him to cut his family off, because I know his family is very important to him.

So I am drawing defined boundaries to outline, hey, I'm not spending any time with these people! And I sure as shit don't want his slob mom & brother, or his shitty dad, in my house!

Every time he gets in a fight with either of them, also, I go out of my way to stress as much as I can to him that the way they're treating him is not normal. And I've been putting him in situations where he spends more and more time with me and my parents, so he has an example of how normal parents treat their adult children, instead of how his parents treat him.

I should note that he has agreed to most of the things I've said. Some hesitantly, but I do think he's starting to realize that I'm right. I'm just worried that I'm the asshole for constantly pushing him.

So, AITA for trying to separate my boyfriend from his family⁉️

[xxx-sir-pentious-xxx]

Story idea, fluff/angst version (if you write for him): Sebastian returning home after escaping the facility and finally seeing his family again

He was a huge hulking beast, but as he managed to wake up his mother by banging on the front door he considered his appearance at last.

The door opened and his mother's eyes locked on him. She almost screamed but then she look at his hair and the way he was tearing up. She knew that sad soft face from anywhere no matter how mutated.

"Sebastian!? Come inside- what happened to you sweetheart??"

He gladly trailed in tail wagging.

"Oh mama I missed you... it's a long story ma I- I just-"

Before he could talk further his dearest mother started heating up leftovers from last night's supper.

"Well let's get some food in you, mi dulce niño... oof goodness you need a shower..."

While to food heated up she helped him get his grimey clothes off. Patting his bicep she lightly joked,

"Goodness you've certainly gotten bulkier. What have you been eating-"

She looked at his face and saw the shame in his face and those big watery eyes, nothing hurt more than her baby boy crying like this, but she didnt know why he was crying. She very carefully with subtlety stepped to the side some to look in his face.

Those sad little lip quivers and the way she just knew he wasn't looking at her, she knew her little boy so well.

"Sebastian, sweetheart, look at me... look at me...?"

Something about that statement seemed to have made him stressed immediately. And when she tried to hug him she saw his whole body tense, his third arm almost going to strike but he stopped. He very carefully hugged her.

"What did they do to you..?"

It took a whole night.

But he would see his siblings tomorrow as they visited their mother weekly.

Of course they straight up screamed and of course they acted like he was a freak. They apologized after their mother chewed them out for insulting him to his face and how it's their bother.

"You two are screaming like his doing anything, hes wearing a Tshirt for God's sake... imprudente... I made breakfast you two."

Sebastian was wearing a old shirt that by now was hugging his muscular frame and had a worn red color to it.

The four ate breakfast, Sebastian got double the pancakes as he honestly would be far too expensive to feed, so his mom opted to just make something cheap but filling. The others and herself had eggs and chorizo not like he was complaining.

His younger sister stared as he ate, the way his teeth looked freaked her out. The eldest brother stared at his whole face wondering for all of five seconds where his face was when he say two nostrils flares. It was kinda like a bunny. The older brother snorted,

"That's kinda cute actually... you know your kinda adorable when I'm not shitting my pants Sebastian."

Sebastian took offense and blushed blue,

"Shut up man... fucking dick.."

His sister finally considered more of his face and added,

"Yeah you got big ol doe eyes and your.. ears? Wiggle when your sitting there, it is a little cute.."

Sebastian scoffed ears flicking annoyed until his mother stated,

"Oh leave him alone hes been through enough. And hes a handsome young man still so dont go teasing him and treating him like a new dog, its rude."

"Thank you mama..."

His sister mumbled,

"God your such a mama's boy Sebby.... always were but still geez..."

The 4 eventually settled down and by the end of it their mother set to work trying to find Sebastian a job in town. After all, Robloxia was full of many strange creatures. I mean really she saw this one girl who just had functional rabbit ears, surely a giant fish man wasnt that strange to the mermaids she saw last week. Maybe he could live a nice full like with one of those mermaids, he would have a chance.

.....

If you want more ask for more and I'll type up some more. Your ask has a strong chance of happening.

[simplydannie]

Previous “We Were Family!”

A request written for @veneerandvelvet!! Sorry it took awhile! I hope you like it!! I’m honestly nervous posting this 😣

TRIGGER WARNING ‼️ MENTION OF ALCOHOL ABUSE

Vivian couldn’t believe Cressida wouldn’t what she did to her children, Velvet and Veneer… but Cressida is cunning. Luring her sister’s husband Vaughn into a trap and down a spiraling path he once journeyed. Now regret sits on his mind.

It had been one month since the incident with Cressida. Since they found her beating away at their son. The twins mother, Vivian, had yet to speak about the incident. How could her own sister do such a thing? How could she lay hands on him in such a way? Vivian was angry at her self, how could she not see that Veneer had been hurting, that he been afraid to say anything?

She sat on her chair staring out the window as thought after thought ran through her mind. A small knock on the door brought her back to reality.

“Yes?” She answered.

Her husband walked in. She saw the concerned look on his face, he had been worried about her, he tried to talk to her but she just didn’t want to hear any of it, at least not yet.

“Viv, you’ve been cooped up in here all day.” He said.

“Just a few more minutes.”

“The twins are starting to worry. They know you’re upset. Vennie thinks you’re mad at him.”

“What? No! Oh no I’m not! Where is he?”

“He and Vels are playing outside. Viv, please go out with them. Take them somewhere just the three of you. I know you don’t want to talk about what happened, I know it hurts you because it hurts me too. I’m ready to talk about it Viv, ready when you are.” He said. Vivian was silent a moment, thinking of what her husband said.

“She’s my sister Vaughn, how could she do that? I would’ve never laid a hand on her children that way. My niece and nephew…. Never. Why? And especially on someone like Veneer. Veneer! Vaughn he wouldn’t harm a fly why would she hurt him. Has she hurt Velvet to and she hasn’t told me? Oh my god I’m a terrible mother!” She buried her hands in her face and began to cry. Her husband walked over, holding her tight.

“No Viv, you’re not. You just trusted someone you thought you could because she was family. You’re not a horrible mother. We make mistakes and are oblivious to things as parents… but I know you love those two as much as I do.” He held Vivian, allowing her to drain the tears she had been holding. They don’t know how much time passed as they held each other there in the room���

“Mommy?” A small voice caused Vivian to look up. The twins peeked through the opening of the door, a sadden look in their eyes as they saw their mother cry. Vivian quickly wiped her face, attempting to compose herself.

“Hi sweetie.”

“Why are you crying?” Velvet asked as her brother followed her.

“Just…” Vivian sighed, why lie about feelings? “Sometimes moms need to cry when we feel something strong.”

“What were you feeling?” Asked Veneer.

“Sad. Very sad. But dad helped me feel better.” She placed a hand on his cheek… how she get so lucky?

“Ew! Please don’t kiss.” Velvet gagged.

“Come on now Vels, be nice.” Her dad smiled.

“Well Dad gave me a great idea. How about we go down the store and get some junk food to bring home?”

“Oh!!” Veneer said excitedly.

“Yes!!! I want those cake poppers!”

“Tiff Toffs!!! Chocolate Tiff Toffs!” Veneer squealed.

“Then let’s go. Vennie, your tubing? Why is it off?” She scolded.

“Oh.” Veneer ran off with Velvet at his heels. Once the kids were out of view, she turned and leaned over to her husband, placing a passionate kiss on his lips.

“Thank you. I’ll bring you back something. Then I’ll have a little extra treat for you once the kids are asleep.”

“In that case, let’s just put them to sleep now?”

“Very funny Vaughn.”

Vaughn stayed back cleaning up the house when they left. Vivian had called to let him know the kids wanted to go get ice cream instead, so they would be out longer than they thought. He took his time cleaning their home when he received a phone call. Picking it up, he automatically answered thinking it was his wife.

“Hey babe, are the kids behaving?”

“Hello Vaughn.”

He knew the tone of voice, his heart grew hard and cold.

“How dare you call here Cressida.” He said.

“Hear me out Vaughn. I need some help.”

“Your sister isn’t home. I doubt she’ll want to talk to you after what happened.” He said.

“It’s not my sister I need help from. I need yours. It’s a surprise… a little apology for her.”

Vaughn sighed, “Why don’t you just call back when she’s here.”

“I really need your help. It’s for her. I want to fix my relationship with her.. I want to fix everything.” She said, practically begging. Vaughn was silent. He didn’t want to help her at all…. He was FAR from wanting to help her… but it was for Vivian. He wanted his wife to be happy, he didn’t want her beating herself over what happened…Perhaps Vaughn could talk sense into his sister-in-law, something that could rekindle the relationship between all of them again…

He sighed, “I’ll be right over.”

Hours passed. It was late in the night when the twins came home with their mother. They laughed and giggled running into the living room.

“Look at all my chocolate I got!” Veneer exclaimed as he sat in the couch.

“Don’t you dare take off your tubing, mister!” His mother warned. She went into the house calling out for her husband.

“Vaughn. Vaughn, babe, we’re home.” She called out. She looked around in the living then the kitchen. “Vaughn.” She went up the stairs and into their bedroom…. There she found him, sitting on the bed, his face buried in his hands…. He was crying.

“Vaughn! Babe, what happened? Hey look at me.” She pulled his face to look at hers. “What happened?”

He pulled her close, burying his face into her chest.

“Vaughn. What’s wrong! You’re worrying me. Tell me what’s wrong please.” She begged.

“I love you. You know that right.” He pulled her down to kiss her.

“Of course I do… are you alright?” She asked him.

“Just kiss me, Viv, please.”

“The kids are still awake.”

“Close the door, they’re occupied. I just really need you now.” He leaned his head on her chest again, “Please Viv.”

That night, the kids had gone off to bed, Vaughn lay there with his wife, holding her close. She was sound asleep. Regret hit him hard, guilt. He hated himself… he hated himself for what happened…. He should have never gone over to Cressidas…. He should have never helped her… nothing would have happened. He would never have this feeling of disgust. How could he betray Vivian in such a way, how could he do this the person he loved most?

Tears began falling down his face as he hugged her. He shouldn’t have trusted Cressida, he shouldn’t have drank with her…

“A toast to fixing family relations.” She had said. And he believed her. One sip of alcohol lead to another… the craving for it had returned….the addiction. Cressida had known this, she had known about his weakness. Vivian had told her out of pure trust. After a while, after a few drinks, Cressida began to look like Vivian, he swore it was her, the alcohol polluted his mind, his vision, he mixed reality with fantasy.

“Viv? I thought you were with the kids?” He had said. But it wasn’t Vivian, he swore he thought it was her, the effects of the alcohol made it look like her. So he pulled her in to kiss her… before he knew it, both their clothes were off….it wasn’t until after, that the effects of the alcohol wore off that he realized… it was Cressida, an evil smirk on her face.

“Oh my god…” Vivian had torn him away from that addiction, from that poison… all for him to come back to it for one night and betray his wife.

He kissed the back of her head as she slept. He loved her, he truly loved her… how could he do this to her? How could he tell her the truth? Would she forgive him when she found out? He buried his face into her hair… she smelled good… she always smelled good.

“I love you so much, Viv. I’m sorry.” He cried himself to sleep.

[pleasantglitterflower]

My in-laws' daughter (Joe Burrow x OC)

Many things are difficult to tell your family, making certain decisions is a challenge and you can go from mature to embarrassed very quickly.

Exactly for this reason, Juliana, in her 22 years of life, has always tried to be as careful as possible when it came to revealing something to her parents, whether it was from wanting to cut her hair to her shoulders, making her mother purse her lips, to finding out that she threw away three years of college, because that course was definitely not what she wanted for her future anymore, but rather hair, everything that had hair

But this time it's different, the event she feared the most has arrived, that of introducing her boyfriend to her parents, with a big catch.

-Have you been together for six months?- The woman is surprised, letting her tone of voice overflow in the restaurant, quickly trying to contain herself.

-You didn't have to hide anything from us, you just had to say that you're together, what's the problem anyway?- Her father shrugs.

-Leo, you know it's not like that- Her mother said.

-Let the girl enjoy herself- She said again.

-Yes, of course, I just want to say that we need to make sure that he's a good person, a nice guy who treats her well, there's no problem with that-

-That's exactly why I called you here- She smiled a little embarrassed.

-What do you mean, he's here?- Her mother discreetly looked for any guy lurking around.

-No, I called you to let you know that I want to schedule a dinner with everyone and introduce him- She revealed, earning a big smile from her mother.

-That's incredible, I can't believe it, we need to plan everything and when are you going to introduce him to your father's side?- Gisele already commented, suggesting as if it were going to be a separate event.

-The thing is, I'm just going to schedule one dinner and then we'll all go, that way we'll save time- She explained.

-Oh dear, your father has a lot to do, he has a lot of work and girlfriends and you know, I have a lot of meetings, advertising, trips and the routine with your brothers - She changes the subject, hating the idea of ​​having dinner with him.

-Don't forget Tomtom - She cuts her off with a half smile, knowing that now her mother will be annoyed.

-What Tom? - She looks at her, holding the glass in her hand.

-My ex-stepfather - Juliana and Leo's smiles contrast sharply with Gisele's shock.

-Of course, daughter, no problem, but what's his name? Show me at least a picture - She changes the subject trying to be as attentive as possible.

-But you know him - Ju finished her salad, now getting really nervous, feeling her stomach churn.

-We know him? - Leo looks a little confused, changing his eyes between the two.

- It's Joe Burrow - He revealed.

The two looked at each other in disbelief.

But telling Tomtom would be even stranger.

He took advantage of the best moment to talk to him, when he was playing golf.

-Boyfriend? - He asked intrigued, watching her swing.

-Yeah-

-You're not old enough for that kind of thing - He implied, making her laugh.

-So I'm going to lose my golf buddy on Saturdays? - He lamented, watching the girl sitting on a stool.

-Never- She smiled at him, who smiled back, relieved.

-But show me a picture of him, who are we talking about? - He finally asked, going to the girl in the hope of seeing the picture.

-Do you know him? - He shrugged his shoulders.

- Where do I know him from? - Tom couldn't hide the fact that he found it strange.

- It's Joe Burrow - He gave a half smile to his ex-stepfather, who stamped his foot and ran his hand through his hair.

- That damn guy -

Tom started to remember some things and it was inevitable to ask.

- How did you meet? -

- It was thanks to his barber -

He wouldn't need a single word more than that, and Juliana remembers that day well, when she was spending time at her friend's house, whom she met thanks to her stepfather. Steve didn't have any clients that day, but an emergency came up.

-We need to fix this, the team scheduled a surprise online interview and I had to interrupt my vacation to pretend to be focused on the next season and suddenly, I need to appear on TV and not even my cap can save me anymore- Joe chattered until he got stuck in the doorway, when he saw another person he didn't expect that.

-This is Juliana..- He cut her off.

-It's really hard not to know who she is with this family- He observed her with some curiosity.

-Believe me, if it were up to me it wouldn't be like this- She commented with her discomfort with the subject, she hated all exposure.

-Well, let's get to the haircut then- Steven called Joe again, trying to break the awkward atmosphere in the place.

It wasn't hard not to fall in love with her, in terms of beauty it was undeniable, but she was more than that, she knows and likes golf, his favorite pastime, she started getting haircuts and various hair cream mixtures for free, they were able to talk about everything.

But the silence was always better, when they just looked at each other and realized that they were really by each other's side and enjoying it, the ease she has with the countryside, which surprised him a lot, maybe the hustle and bustle of her parents' lives made her fall in love with the silence and calm of sitting on a deck and just drinking tea.

Even so, one thing in particular impressed him in a bad way and in a good way.

She doesn't understand anything about American football, how was that possible when she lived her whole life with their biggest star? He doesn't know, but it was a fact.

Since that moment, the contact between them became natural, Juliana could no longer stand having to hide how in love she was, even avoiding having her life exposed like her parents, even though he is a player and it was impossible, they were trying their best, before it became a scandal they needed at least her parents to know, since she spent several weekends with his parents and playing with his nephews.

Gisele and Tom have found a way to talk about the subject, without anyone suspecting anything.

-How did she meet him?- Gisele whispers as if it were a big secret.

-She assured me that she didn't go to any of my games and that at that time, she had no interest in him- Tom assures.

-That's good, otherwise it would be really weird- The woman sighs thoughtfully.

-That's what I thought-

-Tell me a little about this guy- She asked, earning a confused look from him.

-Tell me a little about him, I don't know him, we just played against each other sometimes, it's not enough to know him- She shrugged her shoulders.

-Of course it's possible, he must have been mumbling something on the bench?-

-The benches are very far apart and when he was on the bench, I was on the field- Tom explains.

-But during the game, didn't he swear, say anything strange, have any strange habits? - His wife's concern and anxiety are starting to worry him equally.

-Look, not that I remember, he was quiet, not everyone makes a fuss or swears

-And scandals in the media, no, or rather scandals in the locker room, have you ever played with someone who played with him and knew something dirty?

-We both know how it is to deal with that, I don't think it's cool to keep commenting and no, I don't know of any scandals, or dirty things involving him, no player with any gossip, they just said he was polite and a good leader - Tom shrugged his shoulders and Gisele finally had no more questions.

At the hotel, unlike them, Juliana and Joe are simply in different sync.

-We already have couple pajamas, we're wearing our couple shirts, finishing our couple mugs, you know we're missing a couple plate, right - Joe reminds her charmingly, brushing his mug.

-We need paintings too, one for your house, the other for mine-

-What other stupid couple thing should we do?- He leaves his paintbrush under the table, thoughtful, while Juliana takes the opportunity to kiss his cheek. Joe, who was a little surprised, was surprised again by a paintbrush stroke on his face before he could react.

Before he could retaliate, the person in charge of the place arrived, finding the paintbrush stroke on his face strange.

-Joe, you're so clumsy- She grumbles, earning him an intrigued look.

The other woman laughed softly at Josh, gathering some materials on the table.Until finally, the day of dinner arrived.

-I think I can stay calmer for a game than for this- Joe comments still in the car, since they both need to gather the courage to go to the house.

-I'm also pretty nervous- She half-smiled without looking at him.

-Relax, you don't have to meet Gisele Bündchen and Leonardo DiCaprio as in-laws and also see Tom Brady not playing against you, but actually being your girlfriend's ex-stepfather. - He joked, moving his arms restlessly, while she knew exactly what he meant.

-It's an awkward situation, I never thought I'd be in this situation. Promise me we'll eat and leave? - He almost begged.

-Sure, but since you're the first one I'm taking home, I don't think any of them will know how to deal with it. It's horrible being the firstborn. - She lamented, but Joe turned abruptly to face her.

-What do you mean the first one?

-Yeah, I've never introduced anyone to my parents- She sighed.

-Why?- He watched her without answering.

-I've never met anyone I took seriously or that I thought I should do that- She finally looked at him, who couldn't hold back his smile.

-I was even embarrassed- He laughed all silly.

Juliana approached Joe, until she realized something that made her not know how to react, is it better to laugh or cry? She wondered.

-I think my mother and my ex-stepfather were watching us through the curtain- She commented looking towards the window, where the cloth still sways.

-Why do you think that?- Joe laughed, believing it was mainly paranoia.

-Because I saw them both run as soon as I looked at the window and someone pulled the curtain that was swinging- She said, making Joe a little more nervous.

-We better go then- He sighed, observing the house, for a moment wondering what he was getting himself into.

Walking next to a guy towards your mother's house is very strange, especially while holding his hand and feeling your stomach churn and your face burn.

It could all go well, just as it could all go wrong, like she forgot to tell him that Joe was allergic to something or someone made a bad joke.

There are many possibilities.

She put her hand close to the door but to her surprise, it opened before she could even knock.

-Sorry for the delay, I was at the back of the house- Gisele gave her best smile.

-We noticed- Juliana couldn't contain herself.

-Oh my God, you're here, what a surprise- Tom commented, almost lying down in the armchair to see the two of them at the entrance, for some reason refusing to get up from the armchair, making Juliana look at her mother as if asking what was going on.

The two of them just went inside the house, Gisele greeted Joe with a handshake, Leo did the same and Tom just waved without getting up from the armchair.

-We're looking for something on TV, do you like watching football?- Tom asked, earning some confused looks.

-Yeah, you could say I like it, but at this time of year it doesn't go away- Joe reminded him, only then did Tom realize what he had just said.

-Don't be silly, soccer is always on on Sundays- Gisele changes the channel and Joe swallows with all his might the urge to say it was Soccer, since luckily Juliana warned him.

And Gisele knows exactly what she's doing, since she patted Joe on the shoulder twice as she passed by.

-Daughter, I didn't know your type was Marlon Brando- She mumbled, but Joe, since he didn't know him, looked back wondering what that meant.

-He's a hunk Joe, you don't need to worry- she smiled nervously.

-Yes, he is a hunk- Gisele smiled equally trying to hide it.

-Without a shadow of a doubt a hunk- Tom finishes, leaving Joe alone instead of calm, suspicious of that.

The exchange of glances between the rooms was strange, even more so for Leo who was paying more attention talking to a woman on the phone than to them.

-Shall we eat? Each of us made a dish and I think mine is wonderful and will be the highlight of the evening- her mother stuck her nose up in a smug tone, starting a debate with Tom.

-Mine is not better by any means, you know I'm a meat expert- he defended himself.

Leo preferred not to go in, since he had only bought something ready-made and didn't want to be embarrassed by saying so.

Juliana let everyone leave the room, Joe in particular being accompanied by his mother, while Tom remained seated.

-Let's eat- She pointed in the direction everyone was going, receiving an embarrassed smile from him, who stood up all awkwardly, covering the seat with a cushion.

They kept an eye on each other and walked around the armchair, until she was quicker and pulled the cushion away, revealing a pair of binoculars.

-You two are more professional than many paparazzi- she joked, hiding the binoculars in the armchair again.

-I don't know what you're talking about- He shrugged.

-I saw you at the window- She revealed, making his eyes widen.

-Us? You must be excited about the situation and looking for problems in our excellent creative management, how could we be stalking Joe everywhere we can and calling journalists, looking for information? Juliana, these are serious accusations, we trust you in your vast love experiences, your heart, your rationality and your good taste in men, we would never make that mistake of toxic and slightly jealous parents, a child is raised for the world- He says in a serious tone, but clearly joking with her, calling her for a hug.

She can't deny it.

-Come on, before they notice us missing and start thinking I'm trying to get you to turn against him or scold you in some way- He put his arm around her neck and they continued walking to the dining room.

The table was set with great care by Gisele, who made sure to lead Joe to a chair next to hers.

-You can eat as much as you want, there's no need to be shy or think about dieting, I want you to feel at home- She told the boy who gave a shy smile.

-There's no poison in anything, don't worry- Gisele joked, placing a glass in front of the boy, who looked at his girlfriend worriedly.

And in fact, she didn't stop following Tomtom.

-Now everything is explained- He pursed his lips when he saw Juliana and Joe arrive at the course, she with a caddie on her back.

Although Tom didn't like it at first, he saw that it would be very good when Joe's first shot was played.

-Now you'll have to put up with me for the rest of your Saturday, until our dinner at a burger joint of dubious origin- Tom joked with a smile.

-Why dubious origin?- Joe adjusted the ball on the tee to take the next shot.

-Because we never go back to the same ones and that brings some pretty bad consequences