#i tried a spicy wrap at work one time and literally cried on my break it was too spicy

[delusional-mishaps]

IVE BEEN SO BUSY THE PAST TWO DAYS.. no time to do anything fr so have a quick messy sketch

days 5 and 6: good soup and pepper

[dandyxrandy]

Reassurance

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Reader Rating: Mature Length: 1,700 Warnings: Self-Deprication, Weight Shaming, Plus-Size/Heavy set Reader, Sexual Situations (if you squint) Summary: Reader is having a hard time with their weight and vents to Pedro about it, who is incredibly supportive. Part 2 will have spicy bits.

Part 1  -  Part 2

    It had been a long day that had ended on a more sour note than you expected. You and Pedro had spent the day out around the city and finished with lounging out at the pool, where you found yourself slipping into a self-deprecating mood when a group of young ladies came and shared the water with you both. They were skinny, pretty, young, and the epitome of what society said a woman should be and it made you feel horrible about yourself.

    It wasn’t their fault, you knew, and you rationalized that with yourself as they minded their own business, talking amongst themselves, but you couldn’t help but catch the glances of the other people watching them for brief moments before knowing better and returning to whatever they were doing. You knew you shouldn’t be down on yourself and knew you should be strong and love who you were. You were already working on yourself as it was, eating better, exercising more - hell, drinking at least three glasses of water a day. All this was done with the help of Pedro, who always encouraged you in making strides to keep yourself healthy and happy.

    But it still hurt whenever the group of women giggled and flipped their long hair, almost as if saying ‘look at me. I have it all.’ It made you exit the pool minutes later, wrapping yourself up in a towel and padding over to where Pedro was reclining in a chair, his gaze trapped behind the pages of a book.     “I think I’m done swimming. I’d like to go, if it’s okay.”     Pedro slid his bookmark in place and lowered his reading glasses a fraction to look up at you over the brim. You tried to hide your unease but you knew he would catch onto it with how attentive he was.     “Sounds good. It’s starting to get cold out anyways.”     You were glad when he didn’t ask about what was wrong and how he stayed quiet as you both made your way up to the hotel room where you both were staying for the weekend. It wasn’t until after you had stripped out of your bathing suit in the middle of the bathroom to shower, that you finally let yourself break down.     The reflection in the mirror was your enemy, the teller of lies, and the longer you looked at yourself, the more you saw a bloated version of who you really were. Ugly. Fat. Unlovable. The harsh lights of the bathroom didn’t help and it felt like they highlighted every imperfection. You tugged at the bits of you that were extra, the pudge at your hips and belly, imagining what you would look like if you were skinnier. You hated yourself because no matter what you seemd to do, you always failed. You were trapped in an endless cycle.     The door to the bathroom creaked open a little and Pedro came in, already naked and expecting to shower with you, perhaps cheer you up and distract you from whatever it was that plagued your mind. He paused, however, when he saw the tears in your eyes and the heavy air around you.    

    "Hey, tell me what's going on." Pedro's voice was soft as his hands guided along your hips and you moved hastily to wipe away the tears that had fallen from your eyes.

    "I'm - " your words faltered as you looked in the mirror that was starting to fog up from the hot shower. "I'm fat." 

     The words were heavy on your tongue and even though they were hard to say, the admission made you feel a little better. It made you feel like it wasn't a secret you were hiding anymore and now you were just left with the shame of your proclamation. 

    Pedro stilled behind you and you wish you could make out his face in the mirror, but it was too fogged now and all that was left was the blurry shape of you and him. But Pedro didn't stop touching you. You wanted to push him away as his hand smoothed from your hip to your stomach and it felt like you were kicked as he cupped you there.

    "You are ashamed of your body, hermosa?" His voice was a whisper next to your ear and you accidently bumped his nose when you nodded a 'yes'.

    "Why?"

    Why? Why were you ashamed? How could he not see?

    "Because I'm not skinny and dainty. I'm not one of those pretty girls who can lounge at the pool in a two piece and make men ogle me when I walk by. I'm just -" Just what? Your eyes closed as you cried, your words only a faint echo from the real pain you felt in your mind.

    "Oh, darling. My beautiful girl."

    Both of his arms slid around you, turning so you were chest to chest and you instantly buried your face against him, your arms looping loosely around his back. His fingers threaded through your hair as he gently stroked the back of your head and he pressed a strong kiss on your crown.     “You are not those things.” Him agreeing with you almost broke you and you choked back a sob. “Hey - hey listen to me…” He continued on, holding you tighter. “You are not those things, no. But you are so much more. You are strong and kind and beautiful. You light up the room when you walk in and you do turn heads. God -” He laughs as he speaks. “You don’t know how many times I have to stop myself from snapping on people for staring at you. Because you are so captivating.”     Pedro pulls away a little at that, his fingers catching your chin to turn your face up to him. You look at him through watery eyes and see the kindness in his face. He is so open with his adoration for you and you could almost feel the tangible love radiating off of him. Even so, the question burns in your mind still.

    “But why? Why, when you look like...you’re so good looking and well built. I don’t understand why you would,” You swallow thickly and he waits patiently for you to finish. He was always so good with letting you speak and get your mind out. “Why you would want to be with someone who looks like me?”     Pedro’s hand slips to cup your cheek, his thumb smoothing along your cheekbone to brush away a stray tear.

    “Mi cielo, it is my job to look the way I do. Literally - I am paid to act, to look a certain way, and to keep that upheld. It is an insane amount of work and I envy you so much that you don’t have to have such a rigid diet and exercise routine. You get to be free in a way I can’t.”     It was something you didn’t quite think about until he said it and you suddenly felt guilty for being so selfish.     “And asides that, you take care of yourself as well. Along with working a full time job and keeping one needy man satisfied. You are doing wonderful and I see how hard you work, everyday. You are beautiful to me in so many more ways than your just body.”     Pedro gives you another kiss, his hand slipping down to cup your ass.     “Not that I can’t say I don’t find all of you physically attractive. You’re soft and curvy and so very supple. I enjoy watching you bend under me, taking me so easily because you are built in such a way that I can do what I want and not have to worry. You are very, very much a woman and I admire that more than you will ever know.”

    You feel him stir against you, his cock twitching against your stomach and while he is doing a good job at ignoring it, you don’t. It is almost a testimony to his words, how he was attracted to you, standing nude in the center of the bathroom, bawling your eyes out. Even at one of your lowest points he still loved you and wanted to hold you close, to touch you and be intimate with you.     “I wish you could see what I see and I know none of my words will truly ever matter. You need to believe you’re beautiful. I can tell you what I see and how I feel until I am breathless, but it won’t matter until you believe it. And we can work on that, but you have to trust me when I tell you that I love you and find you attractive, no matter your size.”     You finally smiled and although it was small and defeated, it was still there. Pedro always had a way with words to worm into your heart and warm it and this time was no different. You knew he was right, what with you needing to believe that you were beautiful. That your worth couldn’t come from what he or any other thought, but it was still hard. It was something that you fought against your entire life. You couldn’t possibly imagine how he or his co-stars worked in an industry that valued beauty above all else.     You sniffled a little, trying to composure yourself as he simply held you, his arms warm and strong.  

    “You promise?” You whispered as you looked up at him shyly.     “Of course. I will always love you for who you are.” He promised you and it was enough for you to nod in a silent agreement, that you believed him. You unwrapped yourself from his arms then and turned to the shower.     “We should probably get this chlorine off before the water gets too cold.” You take your time to look over Pedro’s body once you step in, eyes dragging from the mass of curly brown hair over his shoulders and arms, his pectorals and soft stomach. He was in between jobs right now and could afford to eat a little more than when he was on set. It showed in the softer dips of his own body and it reminded you of what he said about him being envious of you.     “Can I still shower with you?” He was polite in his asking and it showed he truly did care about you.     “Yes, of course.”     Part 2 coming soon!

[saijspellhart]

Hi! How about Blindshipping with prompt 22? With their friends just found out about their relationship

22. A kiss that is leading to more, but is interrupted by a third party. (Blindshipping)

And, I thought I got an ask with 14. But it seems to have vanished from my inbox. So if someone sent 14. This covers that as well.

14. A kiss so desperate that the two wind around each other, refusing to let go until they are finished. (Puzzleshipping)

Warning: Spicy

Atem thought he was dying. The way his heart kept stuttering and his breath kept failing. A clear sign of oxygen deprivation was the pulse that kept pounding in his ears, and the way his hands were shaking. He stared at himself in the mirror, and wondered how he was going to face Yugi again. He looked absolutely wrecked.

All night had been like this.

All night Yugi had been at his side. Holding his hand at the mall while they had walked among their friends. It was a gesture between best friends, he’d assured himself. Nothing more. But you’d think it was a lie the way his nerves lit up like one of Kaiba’s blinky hi-tech consoles at the mere contact.

After shopping for a gift for Joey’s sister, their group had wandered into the arcade. Their group always found their way into the arcade.

Joey and Tristan had split off to play a racing game. Bakura and Malik had settled into a fighting game, and Teá had taken on the crowds surrounding the DDR machine. Meanwhile Duke and Ryou had found a table to snack on pizza and flirt over dice. Ryou was always hungry, so the pizza was a given, but Atem noted how Duke never even touched a slice. He was too busy talking dice, and being obvious in how he mooned over Ryou. Not that Ryou ever noticed. Maybe soon though.

But that had been the least of his concerns.

Yugi had slipped a hand into Atem’s pocket, groped around, and it was everything Atem had not to whine.

The sheepish grin his light had given him could have melted an ice cap. Yugi had extracted a bill from Atem’s pocket and held it up.

“Want to play with me?” He’d asked, those begging eyes doing terrible things to Atem’s chest.

Atem had about swallowed his own tongue.

“What?” He’d just barely managed to rasp out.

“Metal Slug,” Yugi clarified. And for the first time Atem had noticed that Yugi was pointing to an arcade cabinet with his free hand.

“Of course,” was all Atem had said. Not what he’d wanted to say, but it was the only appropriate words his mouth could form in the moment.

They’d crowded around the arcade machine, fingers mashing buttons, and hands working the joy-sticks furiously. Their elbows bumped, shoulders brushing, and laughter mingling. Atem remembered feeling breathless, light headed. He had wondered if the arcade was stuffier than usual, and after a half an hour he’d wanted to go run his head under some cool water.

Yugi had kept looking at him, smiling. It wasn’t any different than it always had been. But for some reason it had felt different to Atem. It had felt different for months now.

He couldn’t place his finger on why, but those looks had started to make his stomach churn. Heart pound, veins burn. They made his throat constrict.

And then Yugi had placed his head on Atem’s shoulder when they’d lost their last life and exhausted the last of their quarters. It was such an innocent gesture. Just a friend slumping against their best friend, and nuzzling their face into that best friend’s shoulder.

And circling their arms around said friend’s waist.

And suddenly Atem hadn’t been able to breath anymore. He’d placed the most platonic arm around Yugi’s shoulder and patted him fondly.

It had been fine. It was normal. They were normal.

Then they’d all gone to the theater to see a movie together. The thought of sitting between Bakura and Joey had crossed his mind. It would have been far less agonizing that way. But as it turned out, some wretched teens had snuck into the theater, and there hadn’t been enough seats for everyone in the end.

The smaller members of their group had taken to sitting on laps.

Ryou had taken Bakura’s lap until the Yami had kicked him off, citing “a bony butt.” So, Ryou had nearly sat on Tristan’s lap before Duke caught his wrist and dragged him onto his.

Atem swore blushing had commenced, but it had been a little too dark to be sure.

Then Malik had taken that opportunity to occupy Bakura’s newly vacated lap. Apparently Malik’s butt was not as bony as Ryou’s because he had not been kicked out.

And Yugi—bless his tiny little body, and damn his squirmy little hips—had crawled into Atem’s lap without so much as an invitation. He’d settled into place, head nestled against Atem’s shoulder, and it was a wonder he hadn’t heard the traitorous heart hammering violently against his ribs.

The movie had been torture. He didn’t even remember what it was about. All his focus had been on Yugi and his constantly shifting hips. He’d shut his eyes and focused so acutely on not reacting.

Calm. Calm. He was calm. This was fine. They were fine. Just friends.

And then Yugi’s nose had brushed a particularly sensitive spot on his neck. Traced a line just below his ear, and that breath had ghosted so tortuously over his jaw.

Atem had had to clap a hand over his own mouth to keep from keening.

And that was how the night found him in the men’s restroom now. He’d practically dumped Yugi off his lap and rushed out of the the theater.

Thankfully all the movies were in session, and the bathroom was conveniently vacated.

He had the privacy to collect his shattered composure. Piece together his broken thoughts, and will away the painful tent in his leather pants.

“Friends, friends, just friend. Best friends,” Atem whispered over an over like a mantra. He shoved his hands into the running water from the tap, and dragged wet fingers through his sweat-soaked spikes.

The effect made him look like a colorful soggy lion. Hair messed up, spikes drooping, and blonde bangs frayed.

Fan-tucking-fastic, his outsides were finally starting to match the mess of his insides.

“Atem?”

He jumped so badly he about crawled onto the bathroom counter. He couldn’t even recall hearing the bathroom door open, so lost to his own thoughts.

“Y-Yugi!” He managed to choke out, his lower back pressed so painfully into the sharp edge of the counter.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes!” The declaration was probably too strained, too sudden and loud.

Yugi was giving him him weird looks. So it definitely was.

“You don’t look so good,” Yugi pointed out, taking a step forward, but pausing again when Atem flinched. “Did I...did I do something wrong?”

“What? Aibou, no. No.” Atem was gesticulating, waving hands while he spoke. He never gesticulated—unless it was during a game, and he was jabbing fingers about—and Yugi knew this, and it was a dead giveaway that something was indeed wrong.

The pained look of doubt and disbelief darkened Yugi’s features, and made Atem feel wretched.

They were best friends, former soul mates, and his relationship with Yugi meant everything to him. He’d seen the way crushes, and romantic attraction could foil those friendships, and create a rift in relationships. He wanted to die before spoiling the closeness that he shared with Yugi.

And so he kept his traitorous heart to himself. He cursed that his feeling had become something other than platonic. That everyday he lived a lie, telling himself that things were just fine, and normal, even though he burned inside at every touch.

He owed Yugi everything. And he was determined to suck it up and not ruin everything. Even if it meant lying.

“It’s not you-“

“I tried to kiss your neck in the theater, and I’m sorry!” Yugi suddenly blurted out, eyes shut, and fists balled at his side. A furious blush stained his cheeks, nose, and ears. “I’m making things weird between us, and I’m... sorry.”

Words were not finding Atem. His heart had almost certainly stopped. His knees had given out and he was barely holding himself up with his arms braced against the counter. His brain ceased functioning. Atem.exe had quite literally stopped operating.

A tear slithered down Yugi’s red cheek. It was soon followed by a second on the other side. “You’re my best friend, and I’m ruining it because I love you. And everything I do is selfish because to you it’s just friends, and I should want that too, but instead I want you.” He dragged his wrist over his face, mopping away the tears. “I’m really sorry.”

“Yugi...” but the name only came out as a throaty whisper.

Yugi made a choked noise. Clearly struggling not to start sobbing. He was sensitive and cried easily. Something he hated about himself, but shouldn’t. It was something Atem always admired and adored about him. There was a kind of strength in being attuned to your emotions and being able to express them. Atem still struggled to express himself. But it was Yugi that had awakened his humanity again after 3000 years of being detached from it

About to break down, Yugi spun on his heel and started for the door.

Atem snapped his arm out and caught his wrist. The both of them froze.

“I have wanted you for months.” He tightened his grip on Yugi’s wrist as he said this. “And I thought it was me ruining everything. Please don’t cry.”

Yugi broke into a sob and the next thing Atem knew his light had thrown himself into his chest.

Shaking brown arms wrapped Yugi in a crushing embrace. And this time there wasn’t anything held back. Smaller arms snaked around to grab fistfuls of leather at Atem’s back, and for the first time it felt like their hearts were bared, vulnerable, without a guard.

Atem buried his nose in Yugi’s hair and let himself inhale. “I. Thought. I was dying. All. Day.”

“Why?” And there may have been the slightest lace of amusement.

“Because you kept being you. And touching me, and holding my hand, and squirming in my lap like some erotic dancer, and all I wanted to do was kiss you. So. Damn. Badly.”

“Oh,” Yugi mumbled against his collarbone. “So, you did notice.”

Atem’s body went rigid.

“The lap thing...” he breathed. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

A small nose traced the line of his collarbone, eliciting a shiver. “Maybe.” Yugi said, sounding coy.

“Oh Ra.” Atem hugged him closer. “Do you know what you did to me?”

“...no?”

“Then allow me to demonstrate.”

Atem bent and brushed his lips against Yugi’s ear. The hands at his back gripped harder at the leather, and he heard the sharp intake of breath. A chuckle escaped his chest, and he moved to place a kiss against the side of his neck.

Little by little he moved down Yugi’s neck, a kiss here, a lick there. He delighted in the tiniest noises the actions elicited. Everything slow, deliberate, careful. Then a nip at the corner of Yugi’s jaw that caused him to tremble from head to toe.

This game was fun. Atem traced his nose back over Yugi’s ear, breath ghosting, then kissed the two piercings at the top. His light mewled. Very fun.

“P-please kiss me!”

Atem turned his head to oblige, but Yugi already closed the distance between them.

There lips met, and his world clicked into place. This was right. And everything before had been so wrong.

He tilted his head into the kiss, lips moving gently, following his light’s lead. When Yugi’s lips parted, Atem’s followed in kind.

Atem sucked a deep breath through his nose, and groaned when Yugi’s tongue slipped down his throat. A small hand found its way into his hair, yanking, the other hooked around his shoulders.

And then Yugi was climbing him.

It was fortunate he was still next to the counter, or he would have lost his balance. Yugi was off the floor, into his arms, and kissing him so fiercely his toes curled.

Atem’s left hand grabbed Yugi’s ass and hiked him closer, making them both groan from the sudden delicious friction. His right hand gripped his lower back, clawing at the material there, and returning the favor from earlier.

He wouldn’t let go. Couldn’t. Not when he’d yearned this for so long, and now his Aibou was hot and wanting him, kissing him. They were so wrapped up in each other the rest of the world fell away. Nothing mattered but those lips on his.

They slumped against the bathroom counter, Atem’s back supported while Yugi continued to straddle his hips. And they kissed, breathless and starving, a desperate release of all the pent up desires they’d kept hidden for months.

Yugi ground his hips down, making Atem moan. Then he did it again, and Atem broke the kiss to gasp.

The painful erection was back, and he was wearing the worst pants in the world.

In that moment Atem hated leather.

Yugi moved again, and Atem bit into that pale neck to muffle his next undignified noise. There was going to be a mark.

“Aaaatem!”

When Yugi rolled his hips once more, Atem met them with a thrust of his own. It sent them both gasping. Again they moved, then again. Finding a rhythm in meeting the other, a grinding friction, between broken kisses.

“Ah...ah...Gods, A-Aibou,” Atem moaned, dragging lips over his cheek. It felt so good. Agonizing in the leather, but so so good.

Yugi practically rode him through the clothes. Atem took his lips in another open-mouthed kiss. The pain and pleasure became tight in his groin. Tension mounting, his balls clenched, just a bit more, another trust, another grind, a little more and he would...

“What the bloody hell are you two doing in here?”

The door to the bathroom bounced off the wall with the force it had been thrown open.

Atem and Yugi stopped dead. Both men snapped their head around to see Bakura standing in the entrance of the men’s restroom.

“What? What are they doing?” asked a more nasally voice. A second later Malik poked his head over Bakura’s shoulder. “Gross! Get a room guys.”

Atem’s grip loosened, and Yugi slid down his front—both of them wincing from the friction—until feet met the floor once more. Neither stepped apart though, because things were still obviously... up.

Bakura started chuckling, deep dark and from his chest. It echoed through the restroom most eerily. “Consummating your relationship in a public restroom, Pharaoh? Really, I thought you had more class.”

“I-we weren’t-it’s not-“

“I would have done it in the projector booth, personally,” supplied Malik unhelpfully. He tried to squeeze around Bakura who was still taking up the entrance.

But Bakura grabbed his shoulder and dragged him backward before he made it two steps. “Let’s get out of here, Malik. I need a drink. A real one” He nodded at Yugi and Atem adding, “and you two are disgusting.”

“But I need to pee still!” Malik clawed at the doorframe in vain.

They watched him get dragged out of the room, the door swinging shut with their exit, and cutting off the rest of his protests.

Several moments passed in silence, and the situation seemed to crash down on them.

Yugi tentatively glanced up at Atem and worried his bottom lip. Whatever spell had overtaken them before was quickly dissipating in the wake of that intrusion.

“Uh...did you want to finish the movie?”

Atem blinked down at him with a lost expression.

“I have no idea what the movie was even about.”

They finally stepped apart, and another silence passed while they made a half-hearted attempt righting clothes. Neither looked at the other. Atem lamenting the circumstances of their first, second, third kiss, and Yugi realizing he’d been ready to just give it all up in a public restroom.

Finally Atem grabbed his hand and their eyes met again. Something wordless passed.

“Do you want to go home?” Yugi asked.

“Gods yes.”

~0000~

So not all their friends caught them. But Malik will most definitely blab about it to everyone else. Don’t you worry.

You didn’t so much get a drabble as an entire oneshot for this prompt. So... hope ya’ll like it. Feedback is delightful.

[zet-sway]

@the-wip-project day 35:

I don't know what today's question is but I gotta write a wall of text about what happened last night because holy shit

I was on the verge of falling asleep and, like I usually do, I decided to hunt for some spicy fanfics to read on my phone. I found one.

All my posts are long but this one is real fucking long. CW for touching on dub-con and injury mentioned in the type of context it probably shouldn't be.

It's time for me to admit that not only am I a oneshot writer, I'm also a oneshot reader. I am drawn to short fanfics. If I click on a chaptered fic, it's (usually) because it's rated E for smut and I'll go in with every intention of skimming it for the spicy bits. I'm not proud of this. I've avoided saying this for years because I don't want to disappoint people who work hard on their very long and well thought out chaptered stories. I have a short attention span, and I know what I want.

But anyway, last night I clicked on a fic with 5 chapters and some amount of words, around 30k? Long, by my standards, but I was tired and I just wanted something to read while I dozed off.

This particular fic hooked me in, though. I still skimmed it, but the writing was so unique in a way that made me writhe with writer's envy and admiration. Whoever wrote this had their own language - nothing borrowed - their own vision.

I guess I should tell the good people who read my posts (ya'll, seriously, thank you) that the fic in topic is called Fault Lines by Recidiva on AO3. I would link to it but uhhhh I may be using my work PC for "extracurricular purposes" right this moment ^^; so maybe when I get home I'll remember to add it.

I skimmed it - like I said above - for the spicy parts. It generally follows the plot of Bioware's canon. Thane begins as possessive and manipulative, likely uncomfortably close to dub-con for a lot of people. He kisses her and knows full well that his kiss will make her willing but intoxicated, and how he will use that to fulfil himself. But as the story progresses, he falls in love. Their relationship is what I'll call "edgy." Both of them are renegades. There's a scene where they get down in the shuttle after a fight and they're both still injured and it borders on downright unrealistic but fuck it, it's fanfic and I bought it. However their relationship develops a certain heart-wrenching tenderness. She asks him what Siha means over and over again, and eventually tells him she thinks "bitch" when he says it. But in that moment they have a playful banter, he knows full well she's probably already looked it up on the extranet, and they fall into bed together. The smut is mind-boggling.

By the time it gets to Shepard's arrest, he's taken up a place on Earth and visits her, breaks into her house arrest. There's a scene where they see each other for the first time in a while, she tells him how much she's missed his mouth and how it's not right how bad she wants him, and wants him bad enough to smother him with affection. She says something to the effect of "if you're looking to die, I'd volunteer to be the cause," implying that her lust is powerful enough to endanger his life. And it was at this moment I realized I fucked up.

It's established that I live in my own headcanon and I'm not burdened with considering the end of Thane's life as part of my fics. And the suspension of disbelief was such that I forgot he doesn't make it. So at this moment in the fic, chapter 4 out of 5, I realized "Oh shit this isn't going to have a happy ending." I skipped to the end right away, I wanted to confirm my fears.

In their final exchange, she asks him to lie to her - something that's repeated in other chapters of the story. I forget what he says, I was reading desperately, but he asks her in return to tell him something true. She kisses him and tells him she loves him, and he breathes his last breath with the lingering tingle of their kiss to carry him to the other side.

I was so entrenched in the depth of their relationship up to that point. The level of fathomless love the author conveyed, unlike anything I've ever managed to write before, but more realistic to my own understanding of love as I've experienced it. Not because they're renegades, but just the selflessness with which they feel, communicate, banter, and make love.

When I read that last paragraph, something inside me broke. That sounds dramatic but that's honestly how I would describe it. It felt like waking up from a night terror, when you bolt up in bed from a dream so bad you immediately get up even if it's 4am because nothing feels real and you're so terrified you have to get up and do something - literally anything to take your mind off it, to ease you back into reality. I put my phone down and stared into the darkness of my bedroom and told myself "it's just a fanfic, no need to get upset." And then I started to cry and I didn't stop for 30 minutes.

My husband was downstairs watching Bohemian Rhapsody and I went down there and wrapped myself around him so tight and cried. Bless this man, from the bottom of my heart - bless him - for his unfathomable kindness. I felt like a fucking fool because I was crying over fanfiction but he paused his movie and just listened while I tried to articulate how it wasn't exactly about the character death, or the characters at all, it was just the writing and how it wormed into my brain so convincingly. I felt the loss like it was my own loss. I am terrified of losing my husband. So many feelings coalesced and I realized one day I may be in that situation, kissing the man I love goodbye for the last time, never to hold him again. I'm at work right now and I'm tearing up because it's so hard.

I tip my hat to the author, but I genuinely wished I hadn't read that fanfic. And isn't it kind of funny after that grandstand I took yesterday about not wanting to write the pain of loss and grief, that I ended up reading it instead and probably fucking myself up just as badly, if not worse, than if I had tried to write it myself?

It gets worse, too. Because it got me thinking about my own writing, and how I could never hope to achieve what that author did. So I sat there crying out my painfeelings while simultaneously feeling like a shit writer and like nothing I put out matters. I got up from the couch, sat down at my PC and picked up where I left off in the Omega DLC in ME3 because video games are great for taking the mind off things. It didn't exactly help with the intensity I'd hoped for, but I managed to fall asleep, by 3am.

Fast forward to this morning. I dragged my sorry ass out of bed 4 hours later and drove to work. By some fucking miracle, no one is here right now except our field director. And I'm stewing in how this one fic really fucked me up bad, reconsidering everything. I feel like I've been put in my place.

So what changed?

Yesterday I posted about how I'm struggling to write a plotline. I know what happens, but I'm not interested in the little bits that tie it together. I want to write the romance. I think there's a way to write the plot and the romance at the same time, but it's damn hard.

I started doing this because I wanted to grow my skills as a writer, and I knew it might be more than I could chew. I'm at that moment now where I'm about ready to give up.

Even if I felt like a shit writer last night (and still kinda do this morning), I know that the stuff I've put out has value. We can't all write these epically tragic smut-romance-renegades-to-lovers tales, we'd all be sad all the damn time. There's a time and a place and - I would argue - even a need for lighterhearted fic out there. There are really no rules. I'm confident in what I know how to do.

But the plot. Fuck it, man. I think maybe I'm trying too hard to be something I'm not. I'm trying really hard to write like other people. I may have mentioned before that I saw a post about how many artists spend their time pining for the skills of others, thinking "wow, when I can draw like that, I'll have made it as an artist." That same post cautioned against this, basically saying you already have your own unique style, it's just harder to see through the lens of your own eyeballs. It's fine to challenge yourself but try to acknowledge what you do that sets you apart already. I feel like I have that something - maybe not to the extent that I wish, but I have something.

So what's the point of the plot? Why do I need to tell my readers how I cured Keprals? I'm asking myself important questions here. I like to think I've come up with ideas that no one else has, but as I said above, I don't read a lot of chaptered fics. I very well may have come to the same ideas as other writers and I'm not even aware of it. I don't know if my ideas are unique but I still arrived at them all by myself.

The challenge here - the thing I'm struggling so much with - is how to put them together with the same elegance of my fellow writers. I'm looking at you, shrios fam (yeah I'm calling you that, yall know who you are). I know I can write words, but it's like I have a bunch of pieces from completely different jigsaw puzzles and I'm struggling to make a new picture out of them. I struggle with the transitions between them.

The point here is I have to find my own way. And I have to stop taking myself so seriously. In fact this level of "seriousness" is one of the things that got me into so much angst over World of Warcraft over the last two years. At least I know how to recognize it.

I have to find my own way. I have my own things that are worth sharing. The author I read last night had a language all their own, and I have a language all my own too. Their wordplay was actually more choppy than I would ever write. I've talked before about how I'm scared of starting too many sentences with pronouns, how I maybe write too many run-on sentences, whatever. This author did that with reckless abandon. It worked for them. So if they can make that shit work, I can make my own shit work.

I have to find my own way.

My most current WIP is Thane and Shepard's first time. I've been working on it pretty nonchalantly because I hadn't intended to publish it until I built up to it. It takes place further into my timeline, and it would probably ruin the point of a slow burn if I put it out there now. There are some really memorably moments in this WIP, and there are other moments that need to be smoothed over as well. I never knew what I'd really imagined for their first time but I think I've mostly developed something that's unique in its own right, and I think will be fun for people to read.

I'm just so fucking torn over what to do with it. I feel guilty for working on it. I should be writing "other shit" leading up to it but I don't fucking want to. I actually wrote probably 2-3k words this weekend, which is a pretty staggering amount by my standards. Some of it was for this smutty WIP and some was for something I just threw together, Thane observing Shepard on Horizon and the emotional toll it takes on her. He's seeing her humanity. I don't know if it's worth it to continue but I wrote a lot of it and the words are more precise than usual for a draft, I don't know. I have so much fucking insecurity. Fuck dude. I want to write this longfic, but I don't want to write it. I want to skim to the spicy bits like I always do.

I am wracked with insecurity, of my own making. I know what I can do but I feel compelled to see this idea through. Somehow I have to find my own way.

TLDR I feel like if I don't publish something soon I'm going to burst and I don't even know what the fuck to work on first and fjslfjsojoiejrj

I would be really down for, like, a bunch of hugs and a bowl of ice cream shared over memes and fanservice.

[r00en]

Still Good Chapter 10

A Million Kisses 

All Might x Reader (OC)

I just wanted some cute fluff with Toshi being an absolute angel boy! A basic domestic conversation about food and Toshi just adoring his tiny new girlfriend.

Warnings: Some heavy kissing and super fluffy. Toshi cries. It’s all good!

(I’m running out of All Might gifs people!)

The day's after the attack on U.S.J were some of the greatest Toshi could recall. At least since his injury. All of the students were given the following days off for 'safety' which mostly meant the heads of the school were looking into the breech, upping their security and making a game plan should another attack happen. They needed to be prepared. Both the media and parents of at least the first year students were all on edge and rather critical of each move U.A made. Having the great All Might on staff did sway some hearts and he was labeled as the hero of the hour Toshi felt anything but and was thankful the Principal was doing more to put the citizens at ease. 

There was only so much Toshi could do in his current state. He had maybe an hour now if he was lucky which would need to be used for teaching and possibly appearances on the street during days off to keep everyone's suspicions at bay. All Might was a major public figure. Constantly out and about meeting people, doing interviews, showing up on TV and in movies. A literal Symbol needed to be everywhere at once and be seen by as many people as possible. And of course his hero work. There were mutterings that something was wrong with All Might given how rarely the people of the town around U.A ever saw him. The school tried their best to filter the rumors and spread a few of their own. He was often around different cities helping with major disasters, school and teaching took up most of his time and he was such a valuable asset to the next young hero's. He trusted the police and local hero's to do their jobs and left them to it. Simple things like that. It worked well enough and the attack only solidified his need to stay on campus. That was one of two good things that had come from that horrible day. The second was standing next to him in his kitchen, humming away as she chopped some carrots. 

They had been busy making dinner, each slipping comfortably in this new relationship. Honestly very little had changed between the two of them save for Toshi's obsessive need to pepper her cheeks with kisses every time she was within reach. So much so that he was expecting to be beaten off each time his lanky arms wrapped around her middle and pinned her in place to assault her with his mouth. But each and every time she would erupt into a fit of giggles, planting a few of her own on his boney jaw and only teasingly shooing him away so she could finish what ever task he interrupted. 

"I like it." She told him plainly after he apologized for his millionth kiss that morning while she was attempting to make coffee. "Being wanted so much is...nice. My brain dosn't have time to worry about things when every few minuets you remind it how happy it is now." That earned her a mild tackle of a hug and another thousand smooches. 

And it wasn't just him. She often came up behind him to snuggle into his long back and hold him tight. He adored when she would climb herself into his lap while they watched TV as if it were the most natural thing in the world to be as close as possible. She often couldn't reach his face and so she would tug on his shirt slightly to demand he bend down to her level so she could kiss him how she liked. Often starting on her toes and working her way to his lips. Toshi had to admit they already acted as if they were a couple long before he had confessed. The rest of the teachers apparently had a betting pool on when one of them would finally break. He was glad it was him. Toshi adored the old school romance of it all. The heated confession after a dangerous battle! It felt like one of his American action movies. Though he could have easily done without the fight....

And the fact that even with his twisted, broken, scared and scary body she touched him as if he was in his prime. Not an ounce of fear or disgust on her features. At time's he honestly forgot how he looked. Really believing her when she muttered how handsome he was while they were lounging on the bed together one morning. She seemed to love tracing small patterns against his arms and following the thin but textured muscles in his shoulders and neck. Remaking how strong he was and giggling and cheering when he would scoop her into a hug and swing her around like she weight nothing at all. 

So here they were, in his apartment getting ready for dinner. His arms locked around her little frame with his head resting atop her's like a strange parrot. Listening to her quiet little hum as she worked. Perfect, this was perfect. "Toshi..." His arms wound a little tighter on her sides. Nuzzling his face against her hair with a little sigh of his own. "Yeah?" He couldn't think of anything better than these moments. It almost made him forget his loss as a symbol, his injury, his troubles. "Toshi the meat...." Her voice sounded a little worried. Always so concerned about his well being. "It should be fine. We didn't add too many seasonings this time so it won't bother me as much as last night." The thought of their little blunder with spices last night made him nonexistent stomach churn a bit. Spending hours laying on the bed eating chipped ice and taking advantage of her quirk had not been pleasant. 

"No I mean it's burning!" She laughed, wiggling herself out of his arms to turn off the small hot plate. A dark patchy smoke rising from what was meant to be their grilled pork. 

He stood there dumbfounded for a second. Watching her try and salvage the chard meat. "My apologizes....I was so wrapped up in what I was doing-" That sounded a bit stupid, what he was doing was clinging onto her like an infant. The shame heated his cheeks as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "H-here I'll finish the vegetables. I doubt I can screw that up." Now that he said that the knife looked very sharp and the small little shapes she had been cutting seconds ago looked far more professional than anything he would manage to do with his clumsy long fingers. With a heavy sigh he took up her post, glancing over to watch her cut the thick chard sections of meat. "I don't think I ever noticed before but you are a very good cook. Your recipes are simple yet delicious and you know your way around a knife." He motioned to the well cut veggies on the board and his mess of what looked like a hacked up bit of onion. 

It took her a second to respond. So focused on the task at hand. Or maybe it was hard to answer. "It's kinda embarrassing...but I'm a really picky eater..." She muttered, plating their meat carefully  now that it had been saved from his blunder. "I had to learn new tricks pretty quickly when I moved to Japan. But my family was very ah...." She struggled with the Japanese for a second. Toshi could see the gears turning in her head and had to stop himself from smushing her cheeks. 'So cute...' 

"Meat and Potatoes! That's it!" 

"Meat....and potatoes? Dear... we have that here in Japan though." He raised a brow at her and grinned. "We are having meat and potatoes tonight." He playfully motioned to the boiling pot of potatoes right next to her.

That earned him a little playful swat on the arm and a small nudge so he could scoot his skinny butt over and let her finish. He gladly moved, still afraid to ruin their meal any farther but still bent on figuring out what she meant. "Come to think of it that is all you seem to order when we eat out. Simple dishes, a lot of carbs. I assumed it was because you were trying to accommodate me." People who knew about his injury and stomach issues had a hard time eating freely around Toshi. It was a guilt thing. Like people not drinking around an alcoholic. He could have a wide variety of foods. It's not like he was limited to rice crackers and water. Well not any more. It was mostly heavy spices and seasonings that bothered him. Without a stomach to help break it all down spicy foods would often burn his insides. Never a nice feeling. Toshi let his hand rest on her head, giving it a little rub before he moved off to get them some drinks. "So this meat and potatoes thing?" 

"Oh! Well it means you eat very plain foods normally. It can mean a wide range of things ironically but my family tended to eat hardy meals with lots of meat and carb based foods like mashed potatoes." 

"No vegetables?" That was something Toshi often enjoyed. Steamed veggies were nice and easy on his stomach but could add different flavors to things without being too harsh. 

"Well yes but we stuck to simple things. If we were having steak it would normally be with a carb and one simple vegetable side dish like green beans or corn. Here there is always a rainbow mix of veggies in almost everything so my pallet it's really accustom to it yet." Paladin moved to place their dishes down on the table. Taking her spot as he carefully bent his knees in across from her. "I worry I'll never develop a full taste for Japanese food. I do like most of it though but I find it's far easier to cook at home and add the things I like rather than getting pre-made food's and having to remove what I don't." As always she was already starting on her small strips of pork. Toshi remembered the meal she made one night for him. It was steak but rather than being cut and cooked in strips which was custom in Japan she had cooked both slabs whole. He was tentative at first but her way of searing it gave the top a wonderful crunchy texture but the middle was so juicy it tasted like it had just come from a hot pot yet still melted in his mouth. And there was so much butter! 

"I see. So your pallet just happens to work with my dirt restrictions." A happy coincidence that convinced Toshi they were indeed destined for each other. The thought warmed his heart it also chilled it. Fate...a future. All Might wasn't sure he even had one of those. The echo of his friends dooming prediction played through his mind. What did he have? A year at best? A single year to spend with her like this. He should tell her. But the thought of living every day on edge, her worried about their small short time....sad. Always sad and already mourning a man who wasn't dead yet. 

No. 

At least for now he wanted to be happy. Even if it was constructed on a lie by omission he wanted her to smile at him with no dark cloud hanging over them. He could pretend he didn't know. He had been pretending for years now and it wasn't turning out so bad. But now suddenly, watching Paladin eating across from him, happily giggling along with something on the T.V he had long since stopped watching he wasn't so sure he was okay with dying. If living meant being here with her longer. But Nighteye was never wrong. All Might would die a horrible, violent death at the hands of a villain. He would leave her alone. At the very least she knew he would pass before her naturally. He was almost twenty years older than her, that was a given but she didn't know just how true and how close. 

It felt like some kind of disgusting lie that he would have to keep up with. His side burned as if punishing him already for letting any of this start. What could he possibly do? He would break her heart one way or the other. Ignore their feelings, pretend he wasn't in love with her and break her heart by forcing a friendship neither of them truly wanted? Disappear from her life without a word? Or die in a  fight in a year. He could at least pretend that one was a more natural way for him to go. More so now with the targeted villain attack. She would be devastated but at least she would have closure. Plus she as a pro hero! She knew the risks they all took with their line of work. This lie would be better. 

A hand reached out to brush carefully against his arm. Shaking him from his thoughts with a jolt. "Y-yes?!" She was looking at him with a worried expression. How long had he been silent?

"The food's not that bad is it? You've been glaring at it for like ten minuets...." Shoot. Toshi flipped his palm and gripped her's tightly trying to grin at her as if nothing in the world was wrong. 

"It's nothing....really." She gave him another worried clench of her hand and he returned it trying his best to put her at ease. "I'm sorry. Sometimes I find myself still thinking about the attack on U.S.J...I know! I know you said it's not my fault. Everyone has said that." He was quick to correct when she got that little pouty look on her face that told him she was about to argue. "I'm far past the point of blaming myself now." Out loud "But the attack has me worried. I'm not as strong as I used to be. That's a fact and one we can't dance around any longer. I know the school is setting more security measures in place but still..." He glared down at his thin hand wrapped around her's. His face scrunched in what seemed like anger. "I wish there was more I could do. Feeling so helpless, it's not something I'm used to feeling. I'm still not used to it." 

Paladin didn't seem to have an answer. This wasn't a quick fix sort of issue and one Toshi had been struggling with since his injury. It was worse now that his power was so limited. Relying on others to keep him safe, being unable to protect those he wanted to protect. Her hand slipped from his and Toshi hated the loss of contact. As she stood to gather their plates; his hardly touched, his appetite was gone for now she pressed a careful kiss his to his head in passing. "I don't think it's something you ever get used to Toshi. Not really. You lived most of your life so powerful that this reality may not even seem real. And the weaker you get the more it sinks in and the darker it feels. The more attacks you can't fend off the more it will eat at you." Well she wasn't anything if she wasn't brutally honest. "But you were always going to need to face this. One day All Might was going to die. Slip away in his bed surrounded by loved one's. Too old and weak to be the Hero he once was. It happens to everyone. This is just....an unexpected speed up. You're training Young Midoriya for this very reason." 

He was nodding along, her words were wise if not a bit rough. He was going to die one day, he would have been on the exact same path he was on today....just give or take twenty years. That seemed like such a long time but given how long he was the Symbol of Peace it wasn't too far in the future. The danger that now lurked over Japan due to his near absence was the only major change in the true inevitability. "Yes but if I had more- Wait! You know I'm training Young Midoriya as my successor?!" He was so startled his sudden upright jerk crashed his poor knees into the underside of the table. Forcing him back down with a heavy groan as he rubbed his legs. "Y-you know?!" 

Peaking out from the kitchen Paladin gave a little shrug. "Well I know for sure now. Sorry if it was meant to be a secret...I mean it still is. Of course I'm not going to tell anyone but it's a bit obvious." Toshi grumbled and pulled himself away from the offending furniture and joined her. Hovering by the doorway. 

"Really?" 

She was elbow deep in some dishes. The pot already on for their nightly coffee and tea. If he wasn't so worried this would be a perfect moment for more kitchen cuddles but he was more interested about her realization. "Well I spend a lot of time with both class 1-A and you personally so it might just be me. But you constantly sneak off with him to get in some one on one training. You worry about him and his progress more than the other students...and if his records are correct his quirk shows amazing potential if he can figure out how to not break his own body using it. I got to thinking and it all just kinda fits you know?" That made sense. She was a smart girl and had more detailed records of Young Midoriya's medical history and quirk than most. Plus if Toshi wasn't with her or teaching he was training the boy. It would have been very easy to pick up on for someone like her. He should have been at least a bit more careful. "Honestly if I didn't know you were off with him I would get a little worried..." Toshi jerked back, waving his hands with a look of utter disgust plastered on his face.

"I would never!" When he looked up at her she was laughing, her tongue sticking out at him letting him sigh with relief. Of course she was kidding.

His cheeks still burned. 

"Of course you wouldn't. That's the one thing I never have to worry about with you." The very though made him feel dirty. And not in the slightly less shameful way like the dark hours of the night before they started dating and he was alone with his thoughts. His shoulders slumped forward slightly, curling inward a bit his arms crossed over his chest trying to hide the embarrassment of the memory. The though of those perverted day dreams he was so privy to in the past possibly coming true made a heat bloom in his groin though he tried his best to hide it. For now. How did one even breech such a topic. It's not as if they were fumbling teenagers both young and experienced. All hands and teeth and no nerves. Well 'she' wasn't those things anyway. He was all but a young teen wishing he had at least given into a few of those old propositions from his past. Maybe even a bit of experience under his belt he would know how to act. Then again the idea of sharing that first time with her had it's own thrills. They scared the hell out of him. Like the drop on a roller coaster. Thrilling and dangerous but fun and exciting. "I think he's a good choice though." 

Once again her voice cut through his inner ramblings. This was a better conversation to get his mind off of the dark pink places it was wandering off in. "You do?" Toshi moved into the kitchen at last. Setting out their cups and grabbing his tea and her instant coffee making a small face as the harsh smell hit his nose. He couldn't stand he stuff too strong. 

"He's always so cheerful, really cares about his friends and those around him. His entrance exam was proof of that. The only student in how many years who put someones life above his own chances at his dream future. He had no way of knowing that of course we would never let anything happen to that young girl yet he jumped in to save her. Sacrificing those last few seconds he had to take hold of his spot. He moved before he could even think, like being a hero was just a natural instinct for him." He felt her snuggle up against his left side carefully. Warm breath seeped through his cotton shirt to pool against his scar and Toshi was quick to secure an arm around her as best he could while he tried to carefully mix her coffee the way she liked it. "He's so much like you." 

A shiver ran up his spin. The drinks forgotten as the both sat there in a happy moment of comfort and silence. A woman so wonderful chose to be with him like this and it baffled him beyond all else. But he wouldn't complain. Her spunky little attitude, her willingness to scold him and be bold enough to call out his nonsense, to see him for who he was and not for the icon he built himself up to be...yet to still understand the need for it. Respect and admire it. To see it in Young Midoriya. She reminded him so much of his late Master. Toshi wondered what she might think of all this. She always stressed the importance of keeping true to himself, never forgetting who he was. The same normal high wisdom he expected all teachers stressed to their young students but perhaps she was trying to tell him to do this. Be with someone who made him feel whole or at least a little less broken that before. Nana would adore her.

He should tell her. Let her know the truth about his power and the boy. If only to prove how right she was. If anything it may have been a small boost in validation that Toshi had made the correct choice in successor. "That is a good point. You're a bit more right than you think you are." 

It seemed she had gotten the snuggles out of her system and was now perked at full attention. The deeper tone in his voice told her this was important. Wide eyes stared up and him waiting for him to continue. "What I'm about to tell you is of the utmost importance and to be kept secret. You can tell no one....Recovery Girl and the Principal already know. As well as two old....acquaintances from my past." That was most likely the best way to put it without any more prying questions about them. He could already see the look of aggressive curiosity growing on her face and he wanted to make his point quickly and possibly never speak of those two 'acquaintances' ever again. "My quirk...you remember how we spoke about it being a mystery?" 

Her head gave a little nod as she thought back. "Right, speed or strength or something different altogether. No one really knows to this day exactly what it is. It's one of the worlds greatest mysteries." Toshi chuckled and ruffled her hair a but. Leading her back into the main room with their drinks. At least she didn't ramble like Young Midoriya...

"Right. Well it has a name. One for All. I won't get into the messy details. It might take weeks to really explain everything." Her expression told him she wanted those details. Wiggling on the spot so ready to explode with questions that Toshi needed to hold up a hand and stop her before she got start. "I'll tell you over time I promise. No use in over loading you with information when there are more important bits." It seemed to work well enough for now. Leaving her a little pouty but excited for this 'info' he kept hinting at. "It was given to me when I was about Young Midoriya's age." His hand came up again. Snapping her jaw shut and keeping her silent from the flood of questions about to burst forth from her little body. "H-hang on. Yes I was quirkless. It wasn't strange back then. In fact it was in the midst of society coming to terms with superpowers in general. I was considered normal really. Not that I wanted to be. My master saw something in me back then.....and she passed her quirk, One for All to me. To become the Symbol of Peace I thought the world needed. To protect those who couldn't protect themselves. I wanted to be the hero that everyone looked to. That made people feel safe no matter where they were. I think that's why she gave it to me. She knew my ideals and goals were for the good of society and One for All would be used for justice." He could tell she was a bit lost. Her face flitting between confusion to deep concentration. Trying to piece together everything he just said. 

He let her think for a few minuets. Sipping he tea quietly. "I'll tell you as much as I can over time. Though that's really the meat of it. Even I don't know the full extent of One for All. What it truly is and how it works. I don't think I mastered all there is to it even after so much time. But I was able to use enough to become All Might and fulfill my promise. I can't ask for much more...." 

"After your injury....you needed to find someone else then. Someone to take up the place of All Might. Become the next Symbol of Peace." Toshi gave nod, leaning himself on his elbows against the table as he waited for her to process some more. It was a lot and he wasn't lying when he said even he didn't fully understand it all. The previous holders, how to unlock it's full power. After all this time he was still only able to stay All Might for so many years. He wasn't indestructible. Perhaps if he knew more he wouldn't have ended up like this. 

She startled him by moving suddenly. Slowly crawling her way into his lap and snuggling herself down so her back was pressed against his chest. Toshi was glad for the sudden closeness keeping her hugged tight against him in a cage of legs and arms. Nuzzling his gaunt face into the crook of her neck and letting out a small sigh. "I saw all those things you can see in Young Midoriya. I saw myself in him. I knew he was the right choice as my successor. I came to U.A to find one but before I could we crossed paths. It was like fate." That word made him cringe. He didn't want to think about such a concept now. Not for the second time tonight. He took some solace in knowing that he was being honest with her about this. At least it was something. An honesty to cover up the darker lie he was prepared to keep up for another year. "I don't regret that decision. He tried to save his friend from a villain even when he was quirkless....saved me at U.S.J. Jumping into the fight even at the expensive his his legs. Buying me those last few seconds of time to keep my hero form. Without him my secret would be out. I don't even what to think of what those villains would do with that information." She felt the little shutter run through his body and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him closer. The angle was hard on his back but it was a minor sacrifice for this intimacy he craved so much from her. 

He could feel her fingers petting softly at the hair on the back of his neck. A soothing gesture that lulled him into a quiet peace. "I think he'll make a wonderful Symbol of Peace one day. Plus he couldn't have a better teacher." Toshi flushed and hugged her tighter in his embarrassment. Chuckling softly when she made a little sound of surprise at the tightness. "I worry about the people now." He muttered softly against her shoulder. "While I train Young Midoriya they have no protector, nothing to keep them safe and secure..." 

"It will take time...and it will be hard." She responded softly, careful to pick her words "But the hope you gave people won't wash away. Even in your absence what you taught us will stick around for longer than you think. It will help the hero's who take up the reins for now until Midoriya is able to. What you gave us isn't something that will so easily be forgotten. We still have that fire you sparked in all of us to be better people, to Go Beyond what we think we can do on our own. No one can take that no matter how many years it takes for Midoriya to learn to be the next Symbol." 

Silence.

Toshi couldn't tell at first. It was only when the fabric of her shirt against her shoulder was starting to soak that he noticed the tears streaming down his face. Thick and heavy and so sudden they didn't come with the usual pressure behind his eyes and hitching choking breaths. They just appeared. "I'm sorry....." She was so soft, seeing now that he was crying so quietly behind her that worry seeped back into her voice. It wasn't what he wanted to hear. He wanted her to keep talking. Keep telling him everything would be okay. Chase away those hateful demons that clawed at the back of his mind and made him doubt the society he spent his whole life protecting. Validate his feelings for what he cultivated and strived for for so long. Her words were so very much what he desperately needed to hear. "Did I say something-" 

He didn't want to give her time to apologize. That was the last thing she ever needed to do. In those few short moments she just understood. Understood what he had been trying to do and his fear of losing it. And in those few seconds after eased those fears into the background and filled him with a warmth he hadn't remember ever feeling before. Not like this. To be truly and honestly understood like this felt so personal. He spun her around as carefully yet quickly as he could. Crashing his mouth down on her's as if he couldn't be physically close enough to her. Just contact. This deep, intimate contact as if without it she might not seem real. He could feel her fingers curling into the soft cotton of his shirt. Tugging at clenching at the sudden surprise of his actions. His tongue pressed desperately against her lips that she gladly opened for him. Delving forward to dance and lap against her's. Exploring the warm expanse of her mouth before finally pulling away with a heavy gasp for breath. His tongue still hanging ever so slightly past his thin lower lip as he panted for much needed air. 

She moved to speak again. The small sound dying somewhere in the back of her throat as he dove forward so roughly he toppled them over the table and pressed her back against the hard surface. The crash of their mugs all but white noise to him now. He could hear their teeth click together, he could feel her fingers carding through his wild hair. Tugging sharply as he caught her lower lip between his teeth and gave her a teasing bite until it was rosie and pink. Licking at the tiny mark he created there to soothe the heat away before attacking her mouth again giving her no time to breath or think. A sound came from his chest. Something between a growl and a groan as he felt her wiggle under his heavy hold. His tongue pressed deeper. Toying with her's in a wet battle. She was so much smaller in every way that he almost filled her mouth completely. 

It was like every emotion he had felt over the last five years had just bubbled forward. Pouring all that pent up fear, anger and self hate into this kiss. He couldn't help himself, couldn't stop. But he had to. He couldn't breath now and so he begrudgingly pulled himself back with a wet pop and slid his lips to her cheeks. It was salty and wet. His tears had rubbed off on her during their heated kissing. He was thankful she wasn't crying at least. He moved to kiss and nuzzle against her neck. Watching the harsh rise and fall of her chest as she tried to catch her own breath. He hid down there for now. His mind racing. Pushing him to keep going, keep touching. But as his hands hovered over her sides feeling the soft curve of her hips he felt himself grow nervous. Hard....but shy. He really had put everything into that kiss. Including his nerve. His head peaked up from her chest. Blue icy eyes shining in the dark that surrounded them. Looking more like a puppy then the man who had just kissed about a weeks worth of air from her lungs and still had the wet and slick lips to prove it. 

"I-I...." He gulped hard, Adams apple bobbing harshly as he repeated the words over in his head just in case. Scooting himself up to hover over her flushed out face. Looking so dazed and well worn yet grinning like a fool. He was rather proud of himself for putting that look there. Long fingers traced down her heated cheeks tilting her head so she would at last look at him properly no matter how distant her eyes seemed to be in that moment. "I love you." 

He wasn't sure if he meant to say it really. If this was the right time. So soon after his confession, so soon in their relationship at all. But he felt it. It needed to be said. His gut gave a little twist when she finally seemed to process his words. Looking so shocked a real panic started to set in him when she gave a little gasp like the words had smacked her hard in the face. "Oh..." 

Oh what not what he expected nor wanted to hear. Oh was not the sound someone made when another person just confessed their love. Oh was bad. Oh was very very bad and Toshi found himself hiding away again against her chest. Jaw clenched tight in shame, trying to prep himself for the awkward conversation they were about to have about boundaries. The feel of her fingers against his cheeks caught him off guard. Pulling up slightly so he was force to look at her this time. 'No. No please don't.....don't look at me. I'm so sorry....' his mind already beating him for this horrible, impulsive, ridiculous-

"....I am so very madly and absolutely emphatically in love with you too." 

'Holy shit....'

[juleswolverton-hyde]

Hold the door (BC x Reader)

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Bangchan x Reader

Warning: Spoilers for GoT S4 & S6 E5

Summary: Fantasy can be brutal yet be addicting after a long day of work. Fortunately, a dearly loved kangaroo knows how to lessen the pain of the politics of Westeros.

Author’s Note: Top o’ the morning!

This is my first piece for Stray Kids since they are slowly taking over my life and especially Chris (Bangchan). Hopefully, despite this being not BTS-related for once, it is still an enjoyable read.

For any Stays reading this and who are not acquainted with my works as of yet: I hope I do not disappoint.

Masterlist

A good story evokes emotions with its imagery and plot line, even more so when actors play out the scenes which are craftily adapted to a visual new format despite being written first in ink. The series ‘’Game of Thrones’’ is a splendid example of what might happen in a scenario in which the story hits harder than expected, beloved characters dying left and right while the audience can merely look on in horror.

Or cheer in delight in Joffrey’s case.

The day at work at the café in the centre of town had been hazardous, the arrival of spring break ensuring lots of tourists to come in to taste and photograph the seasonal specials while enjoying the gradually becoming warmer sunny weather. The entire shift literally consisted of creating soft sweet sakura custard buns and sweet lush green mochis decorated with a rice dough cherry blossom and petals, slicing up the slightly floral cheesecake with a pink inside that had to be remade perhaps four to five times due to the high demand. Not to speak of the effort to deliver with making the time-consuming coffees and hot or cold cocoas befitting the abundant fall of sakura around the village. However, such are the duties of being part of the already small team: each person has to be able to work all-round when this time of the year comes despite there not being too much patronage otherwise since the city is not that big nor well-known.

But every exhausting shift makes a mini-marathon in the evening of the new season of ‘’Game of Thrones’’ all the more deserved, simply sitting back on the comfortable creme-coloured love seat with a cup of freshly prepared ice coffee and either a tub of cookies and cream ice cream or a protein bar in the same flavour. Fortunately, it is not minded by the boyfriend of one and a half years since the blonde athletic boy can mostly be found at the gym in the evenings when not hanging out with friends.

Nonetheless, Chris’s absence is more of a curse since the first episode of the night has a grander impact on the psyche than expected, making a firm hug that is mostly tried to be escaped from under normal circumstances now dearly desired. Too many impactful emotional events follow each other up at the end of the sixth season’s fifth episode, triggering the rare reaction of tears in eyes that can merely watch and a palm wrapped over a speechless mouth.

The response is even powerful enough to miss the click of the front door of the shared apartment and the dull thump of the ashen buffalo bag filled with sports gear in the tiny entryway leading to the studio, much less so the giggle following the habitual greeting of “I’m home, babygirl”, which is still awkward despite the many times it has been uttered.

‘Hey, Y/N, are you, wait, are you crying?’ As soon as the credits roll over the screen and the DVD is paused, fingers unclasp from paralyzed lips to wipe away the watery traces of the damage done by mere yet gripping fantasy which stirs the youth to rush over to the couch and rapidly take place on the empty spot formerly occupied by bare feet, making a sorrowful being bounce slightly with the impact of the sudden additional weight. Firm veiny arms are immediately clung onto when they initiate an unbreakable embrace, one slender hand placed protectively on the top of the head, cradling it against the shoulder. ‘What happened?’

No answer comes per direct, first throwing out every bit of frustration thanks to fantastical explicit cruelty while holding on to an oversized sweat-soaked onyx shirt but not minding the hint of sourness to the characteristic scent of minty soap. The golden-haired lad resembling a kangaroo when fired up with energy has taken on the tranquil appearance of a koala, its counterpart, and simply waits patiently until the incoherent blabbering attempts at voicing a reason for the silly behaviour gain a sense of logic. Simultaneously, the left upper arm is being rubbed in uncomprehending close solace, chin resting on the crown of the head when not giving soft caring forehead kisses and whispering soothing nothings.

At last, after a good while of crying, it is dared to look Chris in the eye to tell what forms the reason for the curious distress. Nevertheless, it is an obvious fact the thumb caressing the cheek while explaining forms one of the support pillars which keeps speech steadier than it would be without. ‘Geo- George R.R. Martin is a bastard. He- He let Bran’s wolf be killed by Whitewalkers and- and... Hodor...’ A heavy sob. ‘M- mea- means “ho- hold the door”...’

The very vivid thought about the death of the kind giant at the door arises, initiating a continuation of the lament created by a splendid bastard of an author’s writing. The hug tightens, a rumble in the trained chest beneath the slick flowy fabric resulting in an adorable chuckle as tears stream down a pale neck. ‘You take it way too seriously, Y/N. It’s just a story. Nobody’s actually dead, everything is fine.’

‘Shut up, Chris, you do- don’t know what power George has.’ It is incredible how ‘’Game of Thrones’’ has escaped the attention of the Australian platinum youth, but at the same time places him in a disposition of ignorance about how sensitive talk about the show can be. Certainly for long-time viewers who have likely seen their favourites be brutally murdered in favour of plot progression.

‘No, I don’t, but how about you show me and I’ll try to protect you from it?’ Hazel irises light up at the prospect at one of the most loved things aside from the steady relationship with a girl who gets carried away into fantasy too often and, judging by the broad smirk that begins to form, the continuation of the proposal is nothing surprising yet deliciously loving. ‘With food?’

‘Tha- That’s your solution to ev- everything, isn’t it?’ A careful curl of the corners of the mouth forms out of the sorrowful expression at seeing the genuine giddiness at a second dinner or, rather, late night snack together. Although, it also arises out of the vivid images quickly flashing by of the personified koala’s silly movements whenever something tastes incredible, the funny habit always a cause for affectionate laughter and a source of confidence in the at times doubtful personal cooking skill.

‘It always makes you smile,’ a stray strand is tucked behind the ear, plush roseate lips placing a sweet kiss on the forehead, ‘I’ll first take a shower and then prepare some tteokbokki. How about that?’

Unconsciously, a consenting eager nod is already given before the reaction can be even thought about, the stomach having overtaken demeanour out of anticipation of the small rice cakes. ‘Extra spicy?’

A slight nervousness slips into attitude, eyes holding a silent plead for toning down on the spice levels because the last time they were too high for most to handle, Cris’s friends who came over for the monthly movie night all frantically reaching for cucumber and milk to nullify the impact while trying to save the fellow Australian of the group at the same time. Withal, howbeit while clearly contemplating to adjust the amount of gochujang regardless of the request, the proposal is agreed to. ‘Sure, extra spicy it is. Now, don’t you dare continue in the meanwhile or I won’t cuddle you for the rest of the week.’

A sceptic roll of the eyes, finding no credibility in the statement considering the personality of the speaker. ‘Oh, come on, we both know that’s an empty threat.’

The slightly loosened embrace tightens to a literally breathtaking degree once more, but now it is tried to be escaped as is normally the case when the blonde youth tends to get cheesily clinging. ‘Or I hug you to death, your choice.’

‘Let me go!’ Any type of resistance results in the opposite, becoming more and more the prisoner of secure loving arms instead of a free woman. Notwithstanding, it cannot be said it is minded, though the rumbling in the stomach betrays the recently realized craving for food that can only be had when giving in.

‘Not before you answer.’ The heavy weight suddenly tipping the scales cannot be prevented from being the oppressor of the strength that is unable to lift it, head hitting the soft pillows of the sofa on the other end as the sporty lad with dewy skin maintains the firm hug. A delighted playful chuckle sounds at the realization of having the held figure exactly where she is apparently wanted, unable to be freed before having made a decision. ‘Well, what’s it gonna be?’

‘Either way, you’ll suffer. Option one leaves me alive but you’ll get cuddle withdrawal symptoms. Option two leaves you without your favourite squishy.’ An eyebrow rises in challenging mockery which will only worsen the circumstances though the sarcasm cannot be helped. Just as in the brutal series, if you play smart, you shall survive. And this preferred victim of affection, this most beloved fighter of clinging hugs, has plans to survive the night.

‘Aren’t you clever, turning my own words against me?’ A lopsided smirk forms on the koala boy’s face, eyes illuminated by playful lights.

‘In the Game of Thrones, you live or you die and I intend to do the former.’ Henceforth, a cute sweetness slips into speech as lips irresistibly pout, manipulating Chris even further into hurrying up in fulfilling the promise of tteokbokki and stop stalling the rest of the well-deserved marathon. ‘I’m hungry.’

Blonde locks bow in amused defeat, shaking briefly with acknowledged surrender before gazes lock again. ‘I have no idea what that reference means, but you win this time, Y/N. Can’t let my babygirl starve.’

The characteristic awkward laughter accompanying the nickname by default ends the topic of debate, the kangaroo boyfriend lifting himself off a half-crushed no longer entirely torn by fantasy figure to finally shower. In the absence filled with the lingering traces of songs sung with an angelic voice, more pillows and a thin ornately decorated blanket are gathered for properly snuggling up with delicious food and an amazing but heartbreaking brutal show.

Sweater paws clad in a soapy mint oversized sweater wrap around the platinum youth’s waist to give him a taste of his own medicine, trying to show how inconvenient it can be when a person is basically glued to you during household tasks, which lets them become increasingly more complicated due to the loving gesture. Withal, it does not have the intended effect as the young man manages to get along with making the rice cakes coated in a fierce red sauce just fine although it does pose a bit of a risk when a small hand reaches out for the gochujang tub to add more to the sauce and the chef obviously not consenting to this idea, the dispute resulting in play fighting that almost turns the fire pit open too far without further notice.

The tickling almost results in burns and burned clothing, the just as touchy retribution barely short of ending in a trail of sauce stains leading from the kitchen floor to the fake black leather loveseat thanks to fingertips poking sides. Regardless, it is managed to be reached without further ado, the cruelly incredible series resuming with one strong arm wrapped around the shoulders, a warm meal split in two put into two laps sitting side by side. Occasionally, a chewy tteok is fed with a content smile from the bigger portion of the athlete eating like a starved man, who is evidently as happy with the result of the obstructed cooking as the appreciating look in the eyes of the accepting mouth, going by the happy wiggles accompanied by tuneful hums.

And thus the imaginary intriguing political game synonymous to crimson onslaught continues, because the questioning, at times shocked, comments made out of ignorance brighten the mood due to their silent request for an explanation, delighting the nerdy fangirl within to no end.

Keeping the worst of silly emotions at bay.

Holding the door.

[vividlybnha]

Birthday Boy

@krbkweek2k19​  Day 7 (April 20) Bakugou’s Birthday/Free Prompt/ Third Day

i know im a whole day late so don’t reblog if you don’t want to

Warning: Fluff and Bakugou being bad at feelings.

Word Count: 2425

Author’s Note: You literally don’t understand how angry I am with myself for getting high and not doing this on Bakugou’s bday. Like it was 420 and i was really out here smoking and not writing for him. Anyway I hope this makes up for all that. Happy late birthday my sweet anger babey, love you <3. 

Bakugou tries his hardest not to be fond of his friends. He is supposed to be the punk angry boy from class 1-A. That is his reputation, that is who he is and he will uphold it. But it’s hard when his friends are complete dumbasses. How is he not supposed to laugh at their dumb conversations or when they end up dogpiled on Kaminari again. It’s not ‘cute’ or ‘funny’ and Bakugou has no idea why he always has to snap his head away from them to smile.

So maybe that’s why he holds an utter distaste for them when he opens his eyes to see a surprise birthday party. It’s that he didn’t have any clue that it was planned that got to him first. This entire week he was met with easy glances and kind smiles, as always. The same stupid jokes and yet here he is in utter surprise. He seems to hate them more every day.

Yet looking at the table centered in the middle of this garden he can’t help but feel fond of them.

The table is covered with dark colors and punk aspects. Things they’d know he’d like and yet it's almost cheesily so. The skull on the napkins looks so goth it seems like something that bird brain would have in his room (and it reminds him of a pirate flag). Not to mention the splash of orange and green, almost the exact same from his hero costume but the green is just slightly off to where it looks almost sickly. It’s by no means perfect but he can see how much work they put into it. The presents off to the side are so delicately wrapped, he knows that it was all Sero and his tape. There are hints of Mina and Kaminari’s terrible fashion taste with hints of leopard print and fur, but they made it work. And lastly the cake. It looks absolutely hideous. The only thing that stands out from the whole set up. It’s leaning and the wording is shakily written, the roses (he assumes) reminds him of a toddlers drawings. He would send it back to the kitchen if he saw it in any other circumstance. But here, in the middle of the garden with his friends bright, blinding smiles he can’t help but love it more than anything in the world.

Bakugou typically likes things with a hint of spice. To where he doesn’t have to make himself softer for the area and where it fits so perfectly with him. Angry and rough. The two things Bakugou is defined as so frequently is what he loves the most. But he admires the beauty here.

Despite it all, it (the black and terribleness of it all) looks so elegant against the backdrop of just woken roses. The colors clash so generously, they couldn’t have possibly done this by themselves. The gentle aura doesn’t fit their agenda, nor his. And yet he loves it.

His friends may not get the best test score or make the smartest jokes, hell Kaminari would probably laugh at a poop joke but they are hardworking, every day in class they put their all into training. They try so hard and it's not always for themselves, sometimes it's for a bet or a test grade or maybe because Bakugou threatened them but in the end, they still tried. And that’s what Bakugou loves the most about them.

The fresh buds from the flowers lean toward the light, swaying in the soft breeze. It couldn’t be more perfect.

“You guys are idiots.” His hand is immediately covering his happy grin, furrowing his eyebrow to try and cover his emotions.

They all take offense to his rude wording. Kaminari is the first to speak up, “Hey man we worked so hard on this! You don’t know how hard it was to get Mina to not say anything about this!” Mina cries out in protest.

“Yeah, we stayed up all night to put this together for you!” Kirishima drags him closer, arm on his shoulder.

“You could at least thank us!” Mina huffs putting two hands on her hips.

Bakugou throws a glare her way, “Look at that cake! It’s not even standing up straight!”

There is a slew of arguments and excuses until Kirishima is laughing loudly and suddenly.

“Wow Bakugou, you think your so smooth huh?” He says in between giggles.

Bakugou can feel the panic running through his body, hand still covering his mouth.

“Here you are smiling and yet you want to pretend you hate it?”

The rest of his friends are then quickly surrounding him pulling at his arms trying to see.

“No! I’m not sm- Let go of me! I’m not! There’s just something on my face!”

Kirishima pulled him into a tight hug, “You love it, huh? We had the help of the whole class!”

Bakugou blanks. The whole class helped? That would explain the elegance of it. But half the class is sure to hate him, so why did they help? He is rude to his own friends, never mind the whole class so why did anyone do this? He is quickly swimming in doubt.

“What do you mean?”

“What do you mean what do you mean?” Kaminari stupidly asks. Bakugou barely stops himself from hitting him for that one.

“That the whole class helped.” He says through gritted teeth.

“Because we are all classmates and they like being nice? I don’t know what you want me to say. That look on your face makes me feel like I’m saying something wrong.” Kaminari questions, putting his hands up for defense.

Bakugou doesn’t necessarily know how to feel about that. He has been rude and horrible to pretty much everyone from day one and yet he still gets a birthday party. He doesn’t deserve it at all. In the start of this year he wouldn’t have cared but now he can feel the anxiety and doubt pulse through him. This isn’t right.

Kirishima puts a soft hand on his wrist, pulling him close.

“Hey man, you okay?” His eyebrows are furrowed in a pout, searching his face for any signs. Bakugou nods and turns back to the others. He doesn’t miss how Kirishima doesn’t let go and he doesn’t make him.

“They didn’t want to disturb you because they know how you can be sometimes. They said they just wanted you to enjoy your time with your friends rather than a huge thing with people you don’t necessarily like.” Mina smiles at them. “I said you probably wouldn’t mind but they left their presents.”

Bakugou tries to ignore the feeling in his chest, buzzing in his heart.

“They all wish you a happy birthday, they mean it.” Sero gives him a soft smile.

Kirishima’s hand tightens on his wrist. Bakugou knows that he shouldn’t feel bad about this. He barely even likes those extras. But he can’t help but feel he pushed them all away.

Kirishima leans closely and whispers into his ear, “Your fine Bakugou. We are here because you are our friend but that doesn’t mean they hate you. They spent money on you and some of them wanted to be here but they wanted to respect you. No one hates you, okay?”

Bakugou doesn’t want to listen but he knows Kirishima is right. He is always right about these things. Mina pulls on his hand, “Hey let’s open some presents okay?” And Bakugou nods accepting the first gift. A small rectangular box. Sero raises a hand, “That’s mine!” Bakugou wastes no time tearing off the wrapping paper.

Sero’s present is two metal drumsticks. They feel cool and light in his hands, Bakugou doesn’t miss the chance to twirl them in his fingers. There is a small x and his name carved in small cursive letters on the side. It’s a good gift, he did end up breaking his old ones during the cultural festival (along with several others).

“They can withstand your explosions.”      

Bakugou raises his eyebrows in keen interest. Oh? He’s never had drumsticks like that.

“Try it.”

He grips the sticks tightly and lets a few soft explosions off. He opens his hand only to find remnants of smoke. Nothing.

“These are perfect.” He tries to sound angry when he says it, anything to make it sound not as nice but the same smile finds its way onto Sero’s face and he proudly watches as Kaminari hands him the next present.

Kaminari gets him coupons to his favorite restaurants around the city (the ones that serve the best spicy food) and a whole pack of extra spicy noodles that he has in the kitchen. It’s his favorite pack, the still brings tingles to his tongue when he eats it and still holds other flavors that don’t override the spiciness. Bakugou can’t help but love the present, everyone knows food is the way to someone’s heart. Which is a cheap trick on Kaminari’s part but he’ll allow it.

“These are good.”

“Aw give up the act! You love those! I don’t know what you see in them though. They are waaaaay too hot.”

“You’ve eaten them before?” Bakugou eyes him cautiously. Someone did take one, he never found out who though. Kaminari’s demeanor quickly changes and he is sweating and stumbling over his words.

“I mean, hasn’t everyone? At least once right?” Mina and Sero laugh quietly behind him.

“When I first brought them to the dorms you said you never tried them.” Bakugou sets the present down before letting the explosions come off his palms. He’s found the thief.

Kaminari starts to back up and Bakugou readies for a chase before Mina stuffs her present into his arms.

“Nope! Violence is reserved for after presents. You can beat him up then.”

“Mina! Traitor! You could have just said that he couldn’t hit me at all!”

Mina sneers at him, “You knew what would happen if you ate his food. You didn’t even finish it before you started crying.” Bakugou can’t help but laugh at that. He almost wishes he saw it.

Mina gets him the shittiest shirt he has ever seen and mascara. Bakugou takes them and tries his best to look disgruntled. The shirt just happens to be from one of his favorite metal bands, its design coats the front in intricate swirls and details. It’s the one he had been looking to buying it when he had the time but here it is. He sends a heartfelt glare and Mina and she smiles. The mascara is Flirty Minx, Extreme Volume. Bakugou blushes. He didn’t think anyone would notice he wore any but if it was going to be anybody it was going to be Mina who found out. That’s when he also realizes that he is running low.

Kirishima gets him a whole new pack of mountain climbing gear. The whole 9 yards. It’s all fitted nicely into the backpack: a new harness, boots, helmet, rope, everything. Bakugou can’t help but notice that none of the items are matching color wise, Bakugou laughs to himself. But closer to the bottom of the bag Bakugou finally sees them. A pair of orange and green crocs. It’s very distinctly modeled after his hero costume, with the two dots and the X over the tops. Although he loves his costume he absolutely hates these.

“You know I’m never going to wear these, right? They are hideous.”

Kirishima laughs, hand over his chest, “I told you one of these days I’d convert you. Besides, you’ll probably wear them once to be nice.”

Damn, he knows him too well. “No, I won’t.”

Kirishima only smiles back.

They spend the rest of that afternoon opening and talking about the presents. Bakugou can’t wait until it’s their birthdays just so he can show them up. He will be damned if they are better present givers than he is.

It is darker when they finally get to the lopsided cake. The afternoon becoming evening and tiredness starts to plague them all. Bakugou has to yell at them not to sing but they do it anyway. Bakugou has to hide his blush by hiding his face in his hands. God, he absolutely hates them. Mina cuts the cake (giving Bakugou a HUGE slice) and they all find spots to eat in the grass. Kirishima sits beside him once he’s got his slice, criss cross on the grass and chewing happily.

“Did you like today?” Kirishima is looking up at the vivid lights in the sky. The clashes of reds and pinks. It casts a perfect hue onto him. Bakugou can’t help but love the sight.

“This was dumb.” He tries to scowl but he really can’t. That’s when he realizing he is angry. There is no trace of anger anywhere in him. He feels calm and peaceful. Kirishima laughs, already knowing he doesn’t mean it.

For the first time that evening it’s quiet and soft.

Despite knowing he shouldn’t and everything in his body telling himself to stop he leans closer to Kirishima. From the corner of his eye, he can see him smile and blush but move closer anyway.

“This cake taste like shit.”

Kirishima chuckles, shoulders jerking slightly. “Yeah, we kept trying over and over last night. This was the best outcome of all the attempts so you’re lucky.”

The sun is pulling to a close in the sky, dripping just to the tops of the roses and resting there. He can feel his tiredness plaguing his eyes. There was so much running around and joking (and his early bedtime) he knows it's not long before he falls asleep.

“Thank you guys, really.” It’s just above a whisper and Kirishima doesn’t say anything. He almost thinks he didn’t hear him, which he is perfectly fine with him. The area gets darker and darker and Bakugou doesn’t know if it’s just him blinking longer and longer of the sun falling from the sky. Either way, he finds himself closing his eyes and keeping them there.

He barely feels it but he knows it happens. Kirishima moves his spiky hair back and plants a gentle kiss on his forehead. It’s short and sweet. Bakugou almost wants to wake up so he can return the birthday gift but his limbs don’t move.

“Happy Birthday Bakugou.”

And out of all Bakugou’s birthdays, he has to admit. No matter how much he hates his dumb friends and this dumb party-

This was his favorite one of all.

[zipperdry57-blog]

Three Days in Charleston

Travel

by Jenn P.  |   on April 3rd, 2018  | 

When Vinny asked me what I wanted for Christmas last year, I replied “nothing”. Then I said, “Wait. I take that back. I want you to plan a weekend away together” because I am wise and all-knowing and pretty much always itching to get out of town if time and finances allow. On Christmas morning I opened an envelope with an itinerary he created– a few nights each in Charleston and Savannah, with print-outs of the most expensive hotels in each city because Christmas mornings are for wildest dreams and looming debt. We delayed booking until we filled our vacant apartment, but once we did, we hopped online and decided to go away for our 15th anniversary. We didn’t end up staying in the pricy, dreamy places he’d originally picked out, but that’s okay because Charleston and Savannah are pretty dreamy on their own.

  WHERE WE STAYED:

The Ashley Inn: We stayed in room 5 of this cute pink bed and breakfast very conveniently located in downtown Charleston. We booked it last minute on bedandbreakfast.com, and were very pleasantly surprised by its location and the fact that it lead out to a slightly more private section of the home’s wrap-around porch.

PROS: Clutch location! Around the corner is one of Charleston’s best breakfast spots (The Hominy Grill) and just past that are two really great restaurants– Xiao Bao Biscuit (I’ll circle back to this!) and R’s Kitchen, which we wish we could have tried. The b&b is about a 10-15 minute walk to King Street, which is the main shopping/restaurant row in town. Also, I gotta give props to that four-poster bed. It’s rare that I sleep so comfortably when I’m not in my own home.

CONS: B&B purists will be none too thrilled at the check-in process. No one greeted us, and we never met an innkeeper. Rather, our keys were obtained from an envelope in a property down the street. Breakfast was also served down the street, but I never ended up going for it since Charleston is known for its food! But the biggest drawback (and it’s a big one frankly)… there was no coffee in the building! Not one sweet, sweet drop! Who could live like this? Seriously, this place needs to set up a keurig or something in the main area, because that’s just bad hosting, in my opinion. On the brighter side, the lack of in-house brew forced us to get up early and beat the crowds for breakfast:). Another thing to know before booking is that the hotel is a few blocks from the medical center and we heard emergency helicopters hovering overhead a few nights which scared the shit out of me until I realized what was going on.

NEARBY: The Hominy Grill, R’s Kitchen, Xiao Bao Biscuit, Sugar Cupcakes, Candy Shop Vintage, King Street

HOW WE GOT AROUND: By foot! If you stay downtown there’s really no need to rent a car. If we weren’t able to walk, ubers were plentiful and inexpensive and every single driver was so sweet and friendly we couldn’t get over it. Charleston is a super quick flight from NYC (I think it was less than 2 hours!) and a great weekend destination for people on the East Coast. We went in March, which was perfect timing since we’re about at the end of our ropes with winter weather.

WHAT TO DO:

Our intention in heading down to Charleston and Savannah wasn’t to “do” much, but to stroll, soak up a little spring sunshine and eat until our top buttons cried uncle. We met all these goals. We didn’t really do that much in Charleston except wander around and explore, punctuated by feedings. Downtown Charleston is super walkable, and there are a million guides on the internet to lead you toward the most popular areas to walk around in. South of Broad, Rainbow Row, the Battery, King Street, down by the water. It’s all very photogenic, clean and charming. That’s what we did the first day and a half– walked around, dipped into little stores, ate.

We also visited a plantation in nearby Mt. Pleasant, and I certainly would recommend that as well. There are a few to choose in the area; we chose the one that offered the most insights into what life was like for the slaves on the plantations. Boone Hall Plantation is the only plantation in the S.C. Low country to present a live presentation of the Gullah culture adapted by African slaves and they have eight former slave cabins you can walk through to learn more about the conditions for slaves on the plantation. (and yes… I suppose some people will choose this one over others because The Notebook was filmed here).

  MOST IMPORTANTLY…WHAT WE ATE

Poogan’s Porch– Recommended!

We tried: Country Fried chicken with gravy and mashed potatoes (very much like the Chicken Fried Chicken I grew up eating in TX), Lump Crabcakes with creamed corn (super generous with the crab, but they could have punched up the flavor a bit), pimento cheese fritters with green tomato jam (the real MVP), and she-crab soup–very tasty but realllllly heavy. This soup is basically on every Charleston menu, but this was the only time we tried it so it’s hard to say whose is best. Very good food, super charming atmosphere, lovely service, a little on the pricier side. Oh yeah… great cocktails too!

Hominy Grill– Highly Recommended!

We tried: Bread Pudding French Toast with Bourbon Caramel Sauce (as good as it sounds) and their classic Shrimp and Grits with scallions, bacon and mushrooms over cheese grits (like heaven, but seriously). I just loved this place, and it was literally a five-minute walk from our inn, which was perfect to beat the morning crowds. On our second visit, I had the grits bowl topped with mushrooms and leeks (and side order of bacon I got to crumble on top:), and Vin got smothered eggs over biscuits. Fantastic and inexpensive. Get there early for breakfast because it gets totally packed, but there’s lots of good reasons why. I wish this place was in my neighborhood.

Sugar Bakeshop- Recommended (pop in if you’re already walking toward King Street)

We tried the Lemon Curd and the Raspberry. Small, light, lovely little place. Definitely worth a stop if you’re already in the area but I wouldn’t necessarily go out of the way unless you’re a total cupcake fiend (I’m not. I’m more of an ice cream gal).

Fleet Landing- Recommended, especially for atmosphere

We tried: Fried Green Tomato Stack layered with tarragon crab salad (for $8.99, this is an amazing deal and it was delicious!), Lump Crab Cake Sandwich with Red Pepper Remoulade (we’re used to paying through the nose for any dish whispering the word “crab” in NYC, so we ordered crab at almost every restaurant in Charleston!), the fish special which was served with a tomato relish, black-eyed peas and Charleston red rice (twas just ok). Great spot downtown, very popular and super nice if you’re looking to eat outside by the water. Not my favorite meal of the trip, but did the job.

Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams Highly Recommended!

I’m an ice cream gal, and this place is indeed splendid. If you’re ever in a town that has a Jeni’s shop, you must pop in to sample their excellent flavors made from premium ingredients. Top billing goes to Wildberry Lavender and Brown Butter Almond Brittle.

Xiao Bao Biscuit Very Highly Recommended!

All the in-the-know gals who travel to Charleston (thanks Victoria!) rave about this place and for good reason– it’s incredible! On the website, it’s described as “Asian Soul Food -  Select dishes from China, Korea, Japan, Taiwan, Thailand and Vietnam prepared locally & inspired by kick-ass grandmothers everywhere. ” We tried the popular cabbage pancake topped with bacon, an octopus tail and a crazy beautiful spicy salad (the menu has already changed for the season and I can’t remember what any of the dishes are called). But trust me, when you need a quick break from heavy home cooking, this place really hits the spot! Charleston truly is a foodie’s paradise, and not just for Southern cuisine.

Callie’s Hot Little Biscuit Very Highly Recommended!

Line up early because this place is small, popular and fantastic! Vin had a breakfast sandwich on a biscuit (which was bomb) and I just tried two little guys (cheese & chive, which was really good and Black Pepper & bacon which was utterly mind-blowing). On King Street, so if you’re already shopping around, pop in! This one qualifies as an absolute “don’t miss”.

Circa 1886 - Very highly recommended (for a splurge). We went to Husk in Savannah, and I have to imagine this place beats Husk- Charleston. If you’re looking for a romantic and special meal for your trip, this is the spot! The restaurant is in the carriage house of the Wentworth Mansion (one of the fancy printouts Vin made on Christmas morning) and serves some really exceptional high-end Southern cuisine.

We tried:

Appetizers: BUTTERMILK FRIED ARTICHOKE HEART  with Parsnip Puree, Tomato Marmalade, Black Truffle Pesto, Basil, Baby Spinach, Prosciutto (good, but not as awesome as it sounds)

NIMAN RANCH PORK CHEEK  with Spaghetti Squash, Pickled Green Apple, Crispy Kale, Herb de Provence Glacé (very very good, very tiny)

Main Courses: COFFEE BRINED ANTELOPE  with Sorghum Sweet Potato Mousseline, Braised Greens, Pineapple Relish, Shishito Peppers, Coconut Crema (Amazing!!! So many flavors– everything was covered)

BENNE CRUSTED DUCK BREAST with White Peach Grits, Broccoli, Carmelized Shallots, Sour Vanilla Tea Demi Glacé (I will dream about white peach grits for a very long time–such a subtle flavor that worked perfectly with everything else on the plate. Really fantastic!)

Dessert: CHOCOLATE BENNÉ CAKE Jivara Mascarpone, Ganache, Benné Butter, Lace Cookie

This was the best dessert I’ve ever had. The chocolate was practically unsweetened and the benne seeds (which are popular in the Carolinas, and are basically sesame seeds with a more toasted flavor) added lots of texture and crunch. My life’s mission is to recreate it. Plus, how pretty is this thing??

What we Missed: Husk, FIG, Jestine’s, R Kitchen, Leon’s Oyster Shop ( I hear the fried chicken sandwich is spectacular and I’m still sad I missed it!).

Jenn P.

30-something psychotherapist. Loves cooking, hosting parties, exploring new places. Texan by birth. New Yorker by choice. Likes to tell little stories. Pull up a chair; I'll tell you one.

Source: http://muchtomydelight.com/2018/04/three-days-in-charleston.html