#i totally forgot to post the last one and then I just took photos of all of them again oops

[travellingdragon]

Temeraire Server Birthday Celebration Prompts (finally all of them ^^')

Day 1: a cold night (bonus: a cold/hypothermia) Day 3: paint splatter (bonus: blood splatter) Day 4: myths made real (bonus: fever or mine)

Day 2: a chipped mug (bonus: sharp edges) Day 5: party or anniversary (bonus: giving or secret)

[tinycoffeeroom]

thank god for bikes | arthurtv

inspired by @mrstelevision 🤍

face claim: steph bohrer ♡

request: here !

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

📍 london

liked by gkbarry, max_balegde, and 98,302 others

y/nsworld about last night ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

view all 3,392 comments

user1 i'm in love with you

gkbarry cant believe i didn't even get photo creds ↳ y/nsworld please forgive my sins oh great gkbarry

user2 y/n!! i think the guys u mentioned on ur twt was george clarke and arthurtv!! arthur posted on twt about george getting hit by a bike on a wall!! ↳ y/nsworld !! let me check his twt <3

liked by y/nsworld, wroetoshaw and 29,492 others

arthurtv first pic taken moments before disaster (at least this one won't leave a scar)

georgeclarkeey don't know what was worse, the bike ptsd or you dribbling down your shirt ↳ arthurtv your mum doesn't mind my dribbling ↳ y/nsworld the dribbling was funnier to watch tbh ↳ georgeclarkeey take that mr television

gkbarry i didn't even notice it was you guys hiding in the corner ↳ georgeclarkeey just wanted some alone time with my boyfriend x ↳ arthurtv stop telling people i'm your boyfriend!!

👤 max_balegde liked by max_balegde, arthurtv and 38,028 others

y/nsworld wine in coffee cups and classic literature in a park, my idea of heaven ꕤ

max_balegde got home off my head and now andrews mad i've ruined dinner plans ↳ y/nsworld andrew baby im so sorry :( ↳ andrew_spanndy could never blame you xx ↳ max_balegde god just date her already wooooow

gkbarry regret introducing the two of you, my poor ears will never recover from this ↳ y/nsworld thats your fault for putting two professional yappers together xx

arthurtv pretty sure that's bride you're reading... wouldn't call werewolf smut classic literature ↳ y/nsworld and how do YOU know what's in the book? 🤨

👤 arthur_tv, max_balegde liked by y/nsworld, arthurnfhill and 30,395 others

georgeclarkeey totally normal photo to promote the newest useless hotline ep x

max_balegde rip my purple crocs... can't believe y/n stole them right off my feet... ↳ user2 !!! y/n at the arthurtv podcast recording?? my y/ntv senses are tingling ↳ user3 i'm pretty sure she was there bc her and max are friends... ♥️ y/nsworld ↳ user2 they've never randomly had their friends at recordings, dw you'll join the y/ntv cult soon

📍 ibiza

👤 georgeclarkeey, chrismd, arthurnfhill liked by arthurnfhill, y/nsworld and 45,028 others

arthurtv thank you spotify for inviting us out! (photo cred: y/nsworld)

user2 i am going to scream from the rooftops, y/ntv'ers unite!!

y/nsworld should receive compensation for having to look at george's bare grippers the entire weekend ↳ arthurtv will bring round some wine this weekend ↳ y/nsworld good boy ↳ user2 ... y'all are fucking with me atp

📍 ibiza

liked by arthurtv, gkbarry and 83,028 others

y/nsworld beach bum 𓇼

gkbarry happiness looks so good on you ↳ y/nsworld i love the bones of you

user2 !! WHO TOOK THE PHOTO I FEEL INSANE ↳ y/nsworld my friend! :)

📍 ibiza

liked by y/nsworld, georgeclarkeey and 49,204 others

arthurtv decided to stay in the sunshine a few more days :)

user3 user2 i fear you may be onto something ↳ user2 i'm gonna eat glass. like i am actually putting shards in my mouth rn ↳ y/nsworld omg pls don't

y/nsworld looking good mr television ↳ arthurtv why thank you miss world

liked by arthurtv, max_balegde and 83,028 others

y/nsworld use code ynsworld for 15% off ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

max_balegde leaving my bf for you rn. ↳ andrew_spanndy not if i leave you first ↳ y/nsworld i can date both of you at the same time xx

arthurtv djsidjief djg ↳ y/nsworld you ok mr television?

y/nsworld didn't even think about what i was wearing when i went to go see mr hill sing about cold coffee, sorry guys you got the wrong arthur xx

POST DELETED

👤 y/nsworld liked by y/nsworld, arthurnfhill and 93,294 others

arthurtv someone forgot to change over to their finsta so i guess it's hard launch time... somehow got the most gorgeous girl on earth to agree to date me, must be my fantastic sense of humour

y/nsworld lbr most of them already knew, we weren't exactly subtle ↳ arthurtv speak for yourself xx

theburntchip it's the big ol' hog you got in them trousers ♥️ y/nsworld ↳ arthurtv ah yes forgot about that

max_balegde take care of her or me and andrew are snatching her real quick ↳ y/nsworld ... i may have to do some rethinking

user2 i can't believe i was right... VINDICATION ♥️ arthurtv, y/nsworld

👤 arthur_tv liked by arthurtv, gkbarry and 104,845 others

y/nsworld told him i forgot to change to finsta but really i just wanted to show that i bagged a hottie ✮⋆˙

georgeclarkeey still can't believe you snatched him from right under my nose ↳ y/nsworld we're still in the honeymoon phase so i may give him back x ↳ arthurtv what the fuck

gkbarry crying into a pint of ice cream thanks xx ↳ y/nsworld you know you're the love of my life xx

y/nsworld also user2 sorry for gaslighting you xx ↳ user2 i have never been so happy to be gaslighted could do a happy lil cry ↳ y/nsworld our fave y/ntv'er we love you ♡

[accio-victuuri]

May CPNs round-up! ❤️💛💚

there is bonus content included here that i haven’t talked about separately in this blog so please enjoy!

• same apple headphones 🎧

• 5/6 zsww rumor

• genki forest ad silhouette similarities, and then it was replaced lol and sadly, they had to apologize.

• more examples of brands using the cp tactic ( allegedly lol )

• same city @ beijing 5/12/2024 but didn’t last long cause wyb had to fly to shanghai for the olympic qualifiers.

• jamy wee jeans

• fake story of wyb giving gifts to the ADLAD team and him visiting the crew which led to more people sharing some of their own szd stories that i didn’t add on the main post so i’m adding here instead. i think this started some conversation on what people heard irl about the two & how those who don’t really follow this pairing have encountered them. whether that means they are in a romantic relationship or not, we don’t know. these are all fake!!!! 💀💀💀

Let me tell you a story. A friend of mine told me that one of her college classmates participated in a hip-hop dance competition (SDC). Although she didn’t get a particularly impressive ranking, she was one of the top 100. Then she saw Xiao Zhan, and everyone knew that they were in a relationship, so they didn’t hesitate to visit him on set. What I said is just a rough estimate. I don’t have a membership so I can’t send pictures. I can swear that what I said is true, not a single word is fake, unless my friend lied to me, but I believe in my friend’s character

I'd also like to contribute a relatively old story, although many people should know it hahaha, that is, the two of them share resources. Someone around my friend is a staff member, and has read the confidentiality agreement of Zan Studio, which seems to say that there can be no conflict of interest with Bo, and to satisfy Bo to the greatest extent. Because Zan has a studio, resources are more free, and if there is something suitable for Bo, he will contact him directly. ( this was in 2020 )

Then I will also share my own experience. I participated in a New Year's Eve party. The lady sitting next to me is from the industry. She is not familiar with Bo Xiao, but the artist she knows has a good relationship with Xiao Xiao. The artist told her that Xiao had a boyfriend in the CQL crew. The artist told Xiao not to date him. Xiao Zhan said firmly, "I will not break up with my boyfriend."

I'll tell you one, my friend's sister is Jixiangkong's assistant, her sister doesn't like xx, um, she's a wyb fan, my friend knows I'm a fan and told me that her sister took a photo with wyb, I asked her indirectly to find out, she said her sister refused to tell, it was around 2019, she suddenly told me that her sister was a little bit abnormal, one day she said for no reason that wyb has turned gay.

My friend is a director of a certain Spring Festival Gala, and his family also works in this field. He has some connections. He used to think I was a fan of him and told me not to be a fan because he likes men. (To prevent screenshots, I can't say whether he is older or younger)

I'll also contribute one. My friend's dance teacher has been with the CQL crew, and after knowing that my friend likes Xiao Xiao, she told my friend that they were dating in CQL. My friend was almost broken. (She wf) ( wf means weifen = solo fan )

• a more comprehensive post about the airpods max cpn 🎧

• 5/14/24 xz’s selfie candies and i forgot to add another bit here, particularly the view from the window— it’s the backdrop for yibo’s chanel magazine cover. i would imagine it’s a popular scenic view but i’m just putting it out there 📷

then after the selfies, xzs released a short video of that day when it was taken. people did cpn of course but i’m just adding those here. so what we noticed is the two birds at the start, lovebirds? and then panning to xz who some say hid his phone or was looking at it then took it away because the camera was on him.

then a very galaxy brain one, and a total coincidence — outside the car, a police car passed by and people are like omg fpu ( formed police unit ) lol. but like if you watch that part, it was a perfect shot.

then some fans noticed similarities with the shots from wyb’s b&w photography 📷

• this next one is not really a cpn but more of me being proud of them and the works they produced. their popularity/traffic is important & definitely has helped them get projects, but we know that they give it their all when it becomes to being actors. the photos below are of the chinese films booth in cannes with both their movies and then the May schedule of their dramas’ reruns in satellite tv networks.

who would have known, they were once these two newbies who wanted to become actors and here we are — both of them have a solid body of work. 🤍

• clowning related to xz’s legend of zanghai poster

• 5/15 candies that revolves around wyb’s performance for the olympics opening. most especially his green + pink shoes 💕

• evisu x palace shirt that sneakily has their names on it

• 5/16 LRLG post and interpretations and then add-on speculation of relating this to the milan vlog and what some shots could mean

• their tissue endorsements matching so well. 💙♥️ and representing their cql character colors too!

• 5/20/24 zsww fake rumor - new clothes for jianguo, bickering and eating spicy food

• numbers playing for 520. 9785 and 828

• palace x wedgwood collab 🍓

• cpfs having discussions and comparisons to yy’s scandal to prove that bjyxszd

• 5/23/2024 fake rumor house

• XZ’s look for an endorsement Ad ( Liushen ). the whole fit and even the brand used screams WYB! 😂

• rumor compilation from 给博肖加点小料bot. from the past dates 2/24, 3/3, 3/26, 4/3, 4/29, 5/21 and 5/29.

• xz buying mcdo toys 🍔

• in the li-ning video released 5/31 xz was asked if he plays badminton and what he does during off times and the first thing he said is talk to his friend(s). who is that friend? is this the friend from the crew? 😜 no seriously. then after that he mentioned playing badminton, running and keeping fit. but the fact that he said talking to his friend? wow.

• the pink wedding theme potential from xz’s evelom outfit 💕💕🌸🌸

<<< previous month

[poppurini]

[ m.draconia ] ﹫name tagged you in a post.

malleus n gn reader

minor dorm mal personal story spoiler, typing lilia’s line physically hurt me you’ll know what i mean, not proof read, 终于敢继续写故事型的作品了我真他妈的紧张请见谅

Many nights have passed since that incident happened. That night where he unintentionally upset Lilia by breaking his phone out of—goodness, he can’t even bring himself to say it—blatant jealousy. Now that he thinks back to it, it is rather foolish. He knew how deeply Lilia valued that electronic device, too.

But, he’s not entirely at fault, now is he? He is a dorm leader as well, he should be in that photo Kalim took. Well, yes, he did not attend that day—or any other meetings, really—but it wasn’t his intention to appear frivolous and skip important discussions, he is not like Kingscholar. He was just never notified.

Seeing everyone in a group photo without you, where you should belong in as well, doesn’t set a good feeling in one’s chest. He may not consider them as particularly close individuals, but it still inflict some sort of pain and insult to his pride.

He doesn’t wish to be seen as one of their own, because he simply isn’t but oh, when will he finally be included and not forgotten? Worse, remembered but not worth the effort to include in?

Ding!

Hm? His phone’s screen brightened. The…notif, as Lilia called it, in this device is quite loud and unpleasant to the ears. He ought to ask for Lilia’s help in changing it some time soon. Is he finally getting notified for a meeting? Malleus hope it’s easily accessible unlike last time which caused him to wait a total of three hours in different locations all for no one to show up.

Malleus sighs, It is not regarding the meeting. Were they perhaps serious about not inviting him to any more dorm meetings? However, this confusion was quickly brushed away to the back of his mind. Replaced by a light and pleasant feeling when he sees your name, accompanied by some numbers, which he recognised as your birthdate.

Magi…cam. The bolded letters show. This must be from the Magicam app. That’s right, his child of man assisted him in making one. Actually, he think he was forced, but he doesn’t complain. Nothing really came from the app after so he forgot its existence for quite a while. It is so complicated to navigate, too.

[ m.draconia ] ﹫name tagged you in a post.

This formatting looks…rather familiar than the one he saw on Lilia’s phone that day. The only thing that has changed was the bracketed name and the name behind a symbol that resembles the letter ‘a’ rather strangely.

“Could this be…?” Malleus hums, eyes widening in anticipation and tapping the bar, brows raising when a number pad appeared instead. Magicam doesn’t look like this, from what he recalled. Just then he remembers Lilia’s words.

“Place a password for your privacy! Just four numbers is enough. Most humans put something memorable, like their birthday! But Malleus you can put whatever.”

His birthday doesn’t mean anything much to him, personally. However, yours…

The device was unlocked and Malleus successfully opened the Magicam app. His lips parted in surprise, then quirked in amuse. What greeted him back was a picture of the two of you. Himself and his child of man. Yes, he does remember taking some pictures with you just a few days ago.

The caption—he hope he got it correct—was ‘photo dump with ﹫m.draconia <3’ he does not know what ‘less than three’ is to resemble or if it has anything to do with your apparent photo dump. The pictures you put are more than three. He’ll have to ask Lilia later, or maybe he could utilise this opportunity to approach you?

Still, Malleus was ecstatic. He was finally mentioned in a good light for the first time throughout his three years in Night Raven College by someone other than his retainers. His chest feels tight with excitement.

Ding!

﹫liliaa0101 commented

liliaa0101 You two look absolutely slay in here! 😉👍🏻

What does this mean.

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Finds a Coping Mechanism: The Until We Meet Again Rewatches

I've been so committed to crushing through the Old GMMTV Challenge that I kind of didn't allow myself to think that life's blips and bloops would shake me from my pace.

Well, real life has SLAYED ME as of late, SLAYED ME, and as @lurkingshan has noted to me -- yes, there's a CERTAIN amount of dissonance for my watching UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, OF ALL SHOWS, as a coping mechanism, but here we are. I wanted to copy @bengiyo and rewatch UWMA anyway as a means of preparing for New Siwaj's Absolute Zero, which will be premiering at the end of September -- a time when my life will be calm-ish (???) again -- so I decided to take the plunge to see if UWMA would be a salve to my frayed nerves. It is, it totally is.

So here's some stream of consciousness notes, quite unlike my usual comparative/analytical style, just to honor what a ridiculously fabulous show UWMA is. (In my OGMMTVC analyses, I don't always get to gush over the cute stuff anyway because my posts get so long, so I'm doing a little of that here, too, ha.)

I knew that as soon as I watched it the first time for the OGMMTVC that I desperately wanted to rewatch it, so I just gave myself the go-ahead to eat the leum kleun candy. I've already completed one rewatch and am well into a second rewatch -- this show is so damn good, and now that I know the beats much better, I'm just having a lot of fun seeing in-depth the little nuances I missed the first time.

1) On my first watch, I did not appreciate how clearly Pharm was into Dean from the very start. The way Pharm flips through the photos of Dean that Team sends him from the first beach trip; the photo of Dean eating Del's breakfast; the way Pharm looks at the Facebook photo of Dean holding up the leum kleun. And how Pharm reacts when he saves Dean's phone number in his phone -- that ENORMOUS grin. I knew a lot going in the first time about Pharm's blushing maiden approach and how he was gunshy with intimacy for so much of the show. But I forgot in those early episodes -- homeboy was really into his crush! Taking that secret photo in the library, etc. He acknowledged it pretty immediately -- especially in that whispered conversation Pharm has with Team and Manaow in their English class. I had also forgotten that the show began with Pharm possibly questioning his sexuality, but being solidly knowledgable that it was Dean that was causing him to catch feelings.

2) Speaking of that fleeting moment in the library: after having watched the entire series the first time around, and remembering that Dean had saved that very first Post-It that Pharm had used to write a quick note on the papers that Pharm gave back to Dean in the library in... episode 2? Pharm had originally erased his name on that Post-It. It didn't click with me until this rewatch that Dean was able to make out Pharm's erased name from that Post-It -- which caused Dean to save the note, and use it as reference in the very last scene of the series. So cute.

3) I finally took the time to read about Phra Aphai Mani, the prince of the legend that Dean and Pharm talk about in the aquarium. Remember how Pharm says to Dean that Pharm doesn't like players?

DUDES. HAVE YOU READ ABOUT PHRA APHAI MANI? I guess, like, yes, if you're gonna have a super-long epic poem, a lot of shit needs to happen, but Aphai just kept marrying WIFE AFTER WIFE! FOUR WIVES TOTAL! One ogress, one mermaid, and two maybe humans? A half-ogress son here, a half-mer/son THERE, prince of THIS, king of THAT. Homeboy's life was COMPLICATED! I'm all EXTREMELY SYMPATHETIC to chaos, but this takes the damn cake. (And maybe gives me a touch more context into what's happening with that second marriage in I Feel You Linger In the Air, without the actual monsters/mermaids.) (Oh man -- imagine the Only Friends version of Phra Aphai Mani.) (NO.)

4) The first time around, I kind of though that the bits about Alex hitting on Pharm were a little extraneous and maybe a touch unnecessary, à la New Siwaj's style. But after my first rewatch, I stopped thinking so, and I actually began to enjoy them -- not only for how ridiculous they are, but I also recognized that that was the first time in the show that we see Pharm establishing boundaries. Of course, we see Pharm in his blushing maiden era forming boundaries with his P'Deeeean. But the way he's very clear with Alex, putting up as many walls as necessarily, and being exact in his communication that he likes someone else and is VERY not into dating Alex -- Pharm showed clarity and strength there. While Dean clearly liked to care for Pharm and treat Pharm as his younger companion -- Pharm also had agency, and knew he owned his agency, and I liked how that agency was first demonstrated vis à vis Alex.

5) I totally forgot about this, but -- I think it was the second time they had breakfast together in Pharm's condo? the third? that scene where Pharm's wearing the yellow shirt and he drops the bowl -- remember when Pharm asks Dean if he's mixed-race? I don't think I still understand the meaning of that. I'm guessing Pharm is asking if Dean is Thai-Chinese? I want to think on this more, because -- in episode 16, when Pharm goes to his uncle's/grandpa's house, it is clear that the house is a Thai-Chinese household. There are banners with Chinese script on the walls. I wonder if that was meant to indicate that Pharm was under the impression that he himself (Pharm) was fully ethnic Thai -- but with his relationship to his dad's side of the family being more revealed, it would turn out that Pharm himself was also "mixed." I did think it was cute that Pharm said, "I like it" to Dean after Dean's answer -- another instance where Pharm was being clearly flirty, despite the whole blushing maiden thing.

6) I did not appreciate the first time around, how good Ohm Thitiwat's acting was in the car scene when he's processing Korn's suicide. At the end of the series, I was so taken by the condo scene that I failed to give props to other intense moments, and that car scene was one of them. When Dean arrives at the building where Pharm and Sin lived next to each other -- a part of me wondered if he had originally intended to visit Sin, before hesitating to knock on Pharm's door. I'm not sure, and I wasn't sure after this rewatch. But that was a hell of a recognition moment on the part of Ohm's acting, and it was really damn good. (In fact -- it was my thinking about that car scene, and my wanting to watch it again, that prompted these rewatches in the first place.)

7) It may have been a little confusing, but: I really liked that the Korn x Intouch flashbacks were never presented in chronological order. I liked that the show had Dean and Pharm piece together their dreams and nightmares to come to a collective understanding about the trajectory of Korn and Intouch's relationship, even before Dean receives the background information from Sin. I know I was always a little confused during my first watch as to what moment in time I was watching with Korn and Intouch, but I recognize now that that was a reflection simply of when Pharm and Dean were receiving the same information themselves -- and I liked that the viewer was going through the same process that Dean and Pharm were going through.

8) At the way beginning of the series -- episode 2, maybe? episode 3? -- I like that Dean slyly figures out where to park himself on campus to see Pharm coming out of class. This is before the electric transformer explosion. Dean already was so swayed by Pharm. So cute.

9) I think it first struck me as a touch weird that Manaow and Del (Dean's sister!) were the admins of the DeanPharm chat group. But now that I can think more about it -- I wonder if they were doing that maybe as a way to help Pharm through his hesitancy and protect him from the fans. That being said: one of my absolute favorite moments was when Del first leans about Dean's first sleepover at Pharm's condo -- the way she jumps up and down and tries to calm her smile down. I was CRAAACKING up.

10) Maybe it's because I'm Indian, and used to very large and complicated families, that the relationship between Dean being a part of Intouch's family and having Korn's spirit, and vice versa with Pharm, wasn't confusing to me. But what really got me during my first rewatch was: Fluke Natouch's just INCREDIBLE acting when Pharm first meets Intouch's sister/Dean's grandmother, and Intouch's niece/Dean's mother. When I first watched the scene of Pharm meeting Dean's grandmother, a number of friends commented on loving that scene as well. GOD. It struck me as hard the second time around as the first time. And I think I was even MORE moved the second time around to see Pharm meeting Dean's mother.

Dean's mother had to process a LOT in the moment that she met Pharm. She had to process that her son had a boyfriend, that that boyfriend was there in her house in the first place, and that she'd have to tell her husband (Dean's dad) that their son's boyfriend was sleeping over. AND, that was all BEFORE Pharm had his reaction to Dean's mom once he was finally awake and processing things again. And THEN, she knew that Dean HIMSELF would have to tell his dad the next day and ask for his blessing. Moms have to go through a lot (do I ever know that life), but that was a LOT for Dean's mom, and god, I just gained a new appreciation for those scenes and how Dean and Pharm managed the whole damn thing together. (Also, now that I've seen The Love of Siam, as well as, of course, KinnPorsche -- and, OH, Be My Favorite, too! Kob Songsit. LEGENDARY BL DAD!)

11) My initial flip-out on the condo scene still stands. During my rewatch, I rewound it, like... three times? Fuck, man. One of the BEST BL scenes, ever, ever.

12) I loved taking my time to watch the very final scene, when Dean and Pharm have had the same dream of Korn and Intouch thanking them, and they get back together. I really loved paying attention to how all the Post-Its came back, the meaning of Never Forget, all the little notes and memories of when they had first met. Intouch's ring, the very first note Pharm wrote to Dean, all of it. Dean was such a sentimental simp from the start.

(Because I'm on such a DeanPharm kick -- and I know this is against better advice, but -- I'm considering a fast watch of Between Us just to see DeanPharm's conclusion. I know! The side couples are supposed to be chaotic, but, but. Once I get more time.)

13) Last note. Again, when I have time again, I'm wanting to write a Big Meta on separation. I've noted in some of the most important GMMTV BLs, that separation is often a key theme. But I think Pharm asking for a break was also incredibly key, and keyed into his continued commitment to setting boundaries. I think I probably fell most for Pharm as a character with him doing this -- strange, I know, since I love DeanPharm incessantly, but his standing up for clarity for his feelings meant so much for the internal strength he had gained by surviving the ordeal they had gone through. He was going to stick to his guns to make sure the relationship was authentic FOR HIM, and he did just that.

GOD, THIS WAS CATHARTIC! If you read this, thanks for going through this with me! I'm addicted to writing and this was a fun break in the midst of life chaos. I promise the OGMMTVC will hopefully continue without interruption, but that being said -- I'm watching Not Me, slowly, and having a great time with it. But UWMA is my woobie at the moment, and I just love having fallen in love with this show.

[babyppsthoughs]

Lacey Cat (2024) Extra

I forgot that I still need to post my videos, and so I still need to make a post XD Well it’s not like I hate to talk about it, but over the last 5 posts, I’ve written over 2k words already, am I making amateur porn here or taking writing lessons?

Anyway, there are totally 3 videos. By the time you read this, all of them should’ve been published.

Teaser - 1 min vertical clip I did before taking the photos

Main video - 10 min video, the trimmed down version that highlights the best part in the session. 

Extended cut - 40 min video, all the actions in the session. It’s not unedited, it’s just… long… and sometimes not that exciting. 

40 min is way too long for anyone to spend on one porn clip. While JAV can be 2 hours long, some of them do actually have plots, and at least a few different scenes. Still I wonder if the Japanese themselves watch the full length of those… My video is 40 min of me, on the same bed. (Well I did move around, took off some clothes, changed the camera angle a few times :P)

At first, I wanted to just cut it short. But how short? Most of my older vids were around 25 min long, and I feel that is still a bit too long for anyone to watch casually. But cutting it to 25 would be cutting away a lot of things already. So it would feel incomplete, while still being too long.

So I made a much shorter, 10 min version this time. Hopefully you can enjoy it without too much commitment. But, as the length implies, there are A LOT of things not included. If you are interested enough to want to see more, then you can find quite a bit more unseen footage in the 40 min version. So you’re not rewatching 80% of old content just to see the 20% new stuff.

I am not totally thrilled for it to have two different versions out there either, but I think this is the better choice. If anyone actually sat through the 40 min in my vid, let me know if you fell asleep at some point, or if now you regret doing so XD

Final note to self after editing the vids. Due to aging and probably weight lost, my arms looks even less feminine now. My belly is flatter but because of the dent in my chest, my torso is still not especially nice to look at. So, I guess I need to put more effort into acquiring a good top next time, if there’s a next time ;)

[wolfarrowepz]

Winterhawk Bingo Rd5: Fill #1

Post will be further updated in a few minutes.

I participated in the fifth round of @winterhawkbingo and totally forgot I had this card for like 5 months. Just made a last minute fill today.

Card #: N/A

Fandom: MCU

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/ Clint Barton

Rating: PG

Warnings/ Triggers: Images of Sebastian Stan, Jeremy Renner, a dog, a cat, a coffee cup, a shoulder tattoo and a wrist tattoo.

Title: Souls in ink

Summary: Soulmate AU wherein your born with a tattoo that has meaning to your soulmate. Clint was born with a massive tattoo encompassing his entire left shoulder. Bucky was born without a mark but one appeared on his right wrist the first time he was unfrozen after Clint was born.

A/N: I got no author's notes atm. I'm sleepy.

Image credits: The same as always. Unsplash and basic Google searches. If you took a photo used here let me know and I'll give credit.

Created for: @winterhawkbingo

Square/ Prompt: N4/ Soulmates AU

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

Welcome To the Playground (Arcane Rewatch Sunday)

| Episode 1 |

This post involves spoilers to the episode and is entirely my commentary on watching it!!

To start this rewatch off we meet the first episode. The one that sets the stage of what's to come, and damn IS this an episode. I lied abit about watching this for the second time because I have seen this episode one twice. More so one scene being prominate but I didn't give enough of my attention to the opening scene.

Here we see the sisters. (A lot of these screenshots I took are of them being together because they actually make me want to SOB and throw myself onto the floor in shambles.)

Powder's song is almost haunting in a way, as we see moments later of Vander and the total fucking destruction (which I didn't remember this scene all that great so holy shit this was such an interesting way to set the stage and tone of things.)

Another photo of the sisters because like above. They make me want to sob. VI LOOKS SO BROKEN TOO. PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE HER A HUG FFS.

I really really appreciate the color. The way everything is shaded and just too, the way things are-- Vander. I'm guessing this is how they met and he took them in?? I'd assume. Might have missed some kind of subtext but it definitely is an emotional look combined with the utter emotion behind both of them. Too with Powder's singing.

AND HERE WE ARE! This scene I have the most familiarity with. I really do like how everything is colored as well. Mylo and Claggor alongside them <- I did not memorize their names before EITHER WHICH IS WRONG. They do seem like cool characters, but LOOK AT THIS SHOT. Topside really be having EVERYTHING.

I was going to entre a joke here about Powder almost falling off the building and Vi grabbing her arm and show a picture of Catadora from princess prom to say something but I forgot the punchline and I didn't take it. Not the same energy either, but my brain was trying to think up a silly joke.

I had to take a screenshot of the Kiramman place-thingy. It's so funny- I missed that detail last time. Imagine robbing the girl's families' place that's going to be your love interest. CANT RELATE LOL. But hey!! I thought it was really funny Mylo commenting about them locking their balcony alongside Vi just kicking the fucking door open. SUCH A SLAY move. We love, we stan!!!!

(Also to note, its such a cool frame to just pause and look at in finer detail. It's got so much stuff to look at. I know I didn't take more shots of Powder with the orb ball thing, but I really thought everything in the place was super unique and even through them robbing the place it was fascinating the part where Powder finds the sandwich and just ate ONE BITE of it and going oooo what's this thing. I CAN'T. Girl eat more of the sandwich, you're leaving too much behind!!!! AT LEAST TAKE IT WITH YOU.)

"That's a nose hair trimmer." <- I love you Powder.

I would say never change but uh... UH... ANYWAY.

The orb fucking EXPLODED. CRAZY.

Guess your clear Powder. Don't think they're gonna find that sandwich now. But I don't think that's.... leaving no traces.

I mean you left that building without a trace, sure... but like... where's the building???

(btw yeah I was watching with captions on. It helps with my comprehension of what I'm watching. I'm not gonna ramble about it NOW but damn people should not hate so hard on people who watch stuff with captions on.)

Mylo commenting about his new shirt and getting cut off by Vi kicking him down was so goofy. If you KNOW. But too-- This color pallet. I know I keep saying that but even the topside shitty parts are pretty. TOPSIDE REALLY BE HAVIN EVERYTHING.

UGH GOD I HATE THIS PART BECAUSE THEY WERE DOING SO GOOD. Mylo is such a stupid idiot. More of the sisters because I can't. I actually can't. Someone's gonna skin me if I say that when I first saw Powder I thought of 2-D from Gorillaz. It's the blue hair okay. I DON'T EVEN LISTEN TO THEM. Derailing this episode mb.

All this violence and then its Powder. I got so frustrated when they started chasing her with the stuff too. Was truly rooting for her. Every time I see the scene too I always wish she succeed.

SHE LOOKS SO FUCKING BADASS. LOVE HER. Love the buzzed fade thing so MUCH. The hair. It's everything. SHE is everything.

I always want her to win. I always do. She deserved so much better than how they treated her. Her inventions, she truly was so misunderstood. Never given a chance and written off. I really liked the writing but like holy fuck it was so infuriating because you just want the best for her with all that's happening. You want her to win...

He said it. He said the thing.

He should fuck off and die but HE SAID THE THING.

I cut out most of the part where we saw The Last Drop and Vander talking to those people about negotiating things. Dunno what to comment about that whole segment but Vander coming to chew out Vi once they all came back. I think the whole part where he coaches her about being a leader was a good message. About how she needs to be less reckless and more strategic because people look up to her- Especially Powder. And then not only that, but their health is also in her hands if she is being reckless.

Vander asking if she put that guy on his ass after chewing her out is such an Eda moment but also such a good parent moment. I love when we have that be a trope(?) with fictional parents. Chew the shit out of your kid and then be like "but you still kicked their ass, right?" Slay shit right there.

Ekko. I NOTICED THE FUCKING DETAIL ABOUT "LITTLE MAN."

HE GAVE THEM THE INFO. I DIDN'T NOTICE THAT LAST TIME OMFG. It's all coming together. The air fighting 💀.

More of the sisters because they deserve better. Vi being supportive of Powders inventions. It all makes me emotionally unstable /pos.

MORE OF THE SISTERS. PLEASE I NEED YOU TO KNOW I LOVE THEM. This moment. I can't. I can't. I can't.

The orb.

I am giving you screenshots of the sisters and I am not sorry.

Then there's this. The way the scene ended. I'm not sure how else to comment on it all but I really wanted to insert this photo because its such a nice shot of the lanes and then them in scale of it all. Kinda symbolic to an extent. (I hope I got that right? Undercity verses The Lanes was confusing me on the difference.)

I'm so mad about that cat.

But Silco.

We see him.

We still hate him though.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway ahhh THIS EPISODE WAS SO GOOD. Sorry if I seemed dry at all in any of my parts. It's like- I dunno what else to say at times but I really really enjoyed it. I think seeing this show again is going to really inspire me in more ways than just "ooo show" but it's just SUCH a neat looking world. World building is such an important aspect of stories to me, it needs to have a good and interesting world for me to feel a good hard urge to invest into the content.

One of the reasons why I fell in love with TOH so hard was BECAUSE of its world. (among other things *cough cough* wlw)

The world is such a important piece in storytelling. Characters too, and sometimes they matter more because they can fall flat if they aren't written good. But everything that goes into the world is such an engaging thing.

With this episode it didn't feel like- Boring or anything at all. (I have a short attention span at times and sometimes my mind will just be like "ughhhh") WHICH IS AWESOME. These episodes are literally 45 minutes so like wtf. If a show can do that shit- Damn dude they're cooking SO hard.

I'm not even a LoL fan or like knowing of that lore, and I'm sure knowing of that stuff would make things even more interesting with lore (am a SUCKER for lore too) but even as it stands it's such an Indepth show. (I mean that as in it's not kid-ish. THERES MEAT TO IT.)

I'm so ready for episode two!!!

UNTIL NEXT SUNDAY!!

[two-sides-samecoin]

Every time I see the "fuck him on the floor Friday" post something dies inside me because I think it's super disgusting how the fandom just sees Steve as someone who wants to get violated by others and thinks that's hot. Like haven't those people watch the show, in the scene Steve's feelings towards Jonathan were super negative. At first Jonathan took creepy stalker pictures of him, he never got an apology nor explanation that the photos were good in the end for finding Barb. Then the night before he saw Jonathan who he thinks is a pervert in Nancy's room seemingly cuddling her. It was established to him Nancy doesn't let boys into her room, because she's not like other girls (her words) so this was something serious, aka Steve thinking she cheated on him with Jonathan. Why would he fall in love with this guy at this moment in time, like Jonathan emotionally and physically hurt him but people think Steve's just okay?? Like Steve was so hurt he literally called him names he wanted to hurt him that way. This just sounds like a super toxic situation if you add supposed romantic feelings to it. What is it with the fandom that just loves seeing Steve being beaten by his supposed love interests and like it. I'm not kink shaming but it's a different thing to beat someone bloody than enjoy some light spanking.

all of this!! this fandom has a weird fetish with making steve go through violent actions then make it romantic which is wild. everyone is just romantizing domestic abuse for steve and don’t at all see how this is concerning and just fucked up in general. also the fight scene is even more romanticized because ‘well steve deserved it he said something bad about jonathan’s family’ okay then by that logic jonathan deserves to get beat up because he actively out steve and steve’s friends and girlfriend in danger by taking pictures of them when none of them knew! but if i say that i’m gonna get harrassed by everyone which is wild cuz steve only said words meanwhile jonathan took actions that put steve and his loved ones safety in danger.

like steve genuinely knows that jonathan took picture of him and his friends while they did not know. he knows jonathan just trespassed and took photos of them getting naked why on earth would steve have feelings for jonathan? especially when it’s already established that steve has feelings for nancy so doesn’t make sense for him to have feelings for jonathan at all.

ngl i totally forgot about that nancy said that but yeah it makes the scene so much more serious and makes sense. like steve thinks that the two cheat on him so why on earth does the fandom sees this scene as him being in love with jonathan? yeah everything about the last two sentences! also the way it’s romanized freaks me out because steve is the only one to get this treatment with his significant other. every single other person gets complete happiness yet steve constantly gets just abused and people want to see that as cute like it’s actually frightening

[spilltheteawithme]

anyone else see that interview on ADM carpet, purple backdrop, hes wearing black jacket and black sweater and talking about putting your phone down because the films important. The way he says, it's really hard, talking about other people being addicted to social media when hes glued to his phone, especially around Annabelle. Who is he watching movies with that dont know how to put their phone down? Who is always scrolling social media? We know the answer to the second question 🤭🤭/ omg could be the person who post all the time everythink, flowers, gifts, shadows, netflix, fireplace etc. no it can be 🤣

Ps. I dont know if someone remember the fire place pic from around valentines day but i hope she took that pic when seb left to bathroom or something if he was with her at all. For me it would be such a mood killer if i sit with someone try to make romantic mood and they pull up the phome to take pic it give meghan m taking pic if harry durning engagement🤣. I sometimes forget to take photo with my friends when we talk, laught and spend time together its like nothing else matter, even last time i go out after like a month with my friend, we couldnt meet, and next day she text me that we dont have even one pic together, we were just so in the moment we totally forgot

That is how 'in the moment' should be, pure memories and good times, forgetting to take pictures and not looking at your phone once.

[cisthehuman]

Cis the Teeth Monster

aka this is the post about my teeth lol

Since I extended my hiatus, I didn't really get a chance to chat about my tooth surgery. I figured, why not make a post about it?

To keep things nice and fun, I won't show a picture of my teeth even though I want to. I don't want to gross people out, and I genuinely don't want to start spiraling about someone being able to identify me based on a photo of my pulled teeth.

So here just image little boxes where two of them have two full teeth, and one with shards of teeth. Two of the three boxes have pretty bloody specimens. There you go. Imagination is fun.

To start things off, I was born with the gift (curse?) of having extra wisdoms. 6 total, 3 on each side. As you can imagine, they all can't fit in my mouth, so they gotta get out of there.

I got the left side done years ago--I think I was either in college or just starting. It took a good solid hour, and I was able to come home with two of my teeth, as one had to be drilled into bits to be properly pulled out. Fun times. Because the surgery cost an arm and a leg, my family decided to wait until the right side started hurting before getting another surgery done.

Fast forward!!! To the now!!!

Probably around late February, I started experiencing some mouth pain. I figured I ate on something funny (I have a deep love for pretzels and those bastards can be hard as hell) and just took a pain killer and went on with my life. It was when I woke up from a TERRIBLE mouth ache that I realized.....it was time....to go back...for round 2.

Doc gave me some interesting news:

I have a lot of teeth (I already knew that)

The sharp pain I felt were my wisdom teeth growing on and hitting my nerve (I did not know that)

Taking them out was going to be a pain (I thought I knew that, but boy was I wrong)

After setting the date for the surgery, I did what any normal person would do--eat every crunchy thing imaginable, eat all of the sweets, and stream the ending of Our Life 1.

And then the day was upon us. Surgery day.

You want to guess how long the surgery took? Don't worry, I'm going to put a keep reading bar so it should (in theory) cover the rest of the story up. Think really long and hard on how long surgery took me.

Did you guess *4 hours*?

If you did, you win the knowledge of how long I was awake hearing drilling and crunching inside my mouth! Whooo! Winning is everything!!!

Needless to say, I was mentally and physically checked out at the end of it. Even now I can barely really remember how gone I was. I just remember feel very sorry for myself, and very ready to sleep for like five days.

The healing process was how you can imagine it, long and tiring. Constant pill taking--and because I couldn't feel my face or swallow very well, my medicine had to be smashed to powder so i can actually take it. i unfortunately had to get very familiar with the extremely bitter taste of medicine. When I was telling my supervisors I would be out, I actually thought I could work after I was done with my surgery but MAN I was like so out of it. By the end of the week I was able to like come back to myself. Even when I could pop into work for a little bit, it wasn't for a long time. After a week and a half or so, I was able to take the stitches out. And as of today 4/9/24, I have all of them officially out because my dentist forgot to take out one last stitch lol

So, there you go! My teeth journey! All of my wisdoms are out, but I have 5 (4 and some shards I guess) with me! I wanted to keep my teeth because it is kinda rare to have more than normal, and I wanted a souvenir from the surgeries. But keeping them in their little containers is kinda drab for me so I'm planning to make a necklace out of them!

I have a loose idea of what I want to do--the teeth are going to be painted black, and I'm thinking putting the shards in a resin mold to make a pendant out of them....I have a lot ideas in my head.

I was thinking of capturing the process of my teeth necklace! As this blog is more for showing the human behind the streamer persona, there's nothing more personal than seeing a necklace made out of said streamer's teeth lololol

I'm currently working on a quilt for my mom right now so it will probably be my summer project! Tune in to the progress in the future!

Thanks for reading about my teeth~ Seeeee youuu next timeee

[j0kers-light]

👁️👁️ joker x yn who gets exposed for having connections with Batman

Please

Hey hi anon! 🖤✨

I HEARD YOUR CRY! Now you didn’t specify what kind of connection sooo I took liberty of making up one on the fly. I can’t in good conscience say this is canon within His Lighthouse lol. Joker would lose the last shred of his sanity if it were. Enjoy!!

Edit: If you wish to read the full oneshot bearing the same name, here's the link! It does have a trigger warning advisory.

This was not how you wanted Joker to be angry with you. You expected him to be upset about your limited edition box set not coming out until the fall or about you hogging all the cover at night.

Not about your extremely old photo-op with the one and only Batman circulating the web again

It literally was a long story and definitely a lot more tamer than what Joker was making it out to be

So what if you had an old selfie with Gotham City’s Dark Knight floating around the web?

So what if the caped crusader was rather handsy with his hand resting wayy too low on your back or that you were licking the cowl and the caption was quite suggestive?

#Leathertastesfunny but #Ihadworse Okay so maybe it was bad. 👀

Joker stumbled across the old pic when a fan reblogged it with a comment. “Wait, does this mean Y/n is smashing Batman?” Then he scrolled and saw the most recent pic that you totally forgot about taking months ago!!

Who knew Batman was so dirty? You were walking back from an outing and almost got into a nasty situation if not for Batman swooping in to save the day

He flirted with you after saving the damsel in distress again; “the leather shouldn’t taste funny anymore”, he mentioned and you laughed and called his bluff (5/10 not bad)

You offered to take another selfie to commemorate the heroic moment. You were not expecting Batman to back you in the wall and grind his hips into yours. Your thumb slipped and oops…

#Themaskstayson okay so yeah um.. the selfie got quite the buzz. Batman was all but f__king you in the alleyway or at least that’s what the photo suggested.

Your airy smile peaking over Batman’s shoulder with your legs wrapped around his slutty little waist all but confirmed it. Yeah it looked bad

And naturally Joker. Flipped. His. Ish.

“J-J… it happened way before you and I even met!”

Why did you say that? Like that small fact made things any better.

You saw Joker’s eye twitch. The date was right there on the post. It was two days before you and him met in Chinatown but STILL it was too close in Joker’s mind. You were his.

He saw nothing but red. You hooked up with THE Batman, his mortal enemy? Was it just a one (twice) time thing or prolonged occurrences?

HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON?

“Did ya f__k him?” Joker growled.

You played with your fingers and looked away. Silence was worse than answering but J had to know.

“I won’T repeat myself, Y/n. Yes or no.”

Cue your stuttering.

“I uhh, well I mean yes but no? It wasn’t a p-in-v if that’s what you’re asking but I did consider it! I have a mask kink okay?! I was curious! I-I mean.. have you seen the man?” You winced when Joker growled.

Alright, not the best confession to say to your psychotic possessive lover, especially since Joker and Batman were bitter rivals.

It was like the ultimate betrayal in J’s eyes. You considered having sex with Batman. Can’t take that back. You started to slowly back away.

“If I were you, I’d run too bunny. Cuz when I catch ya… mmhhm. When I get my handsss on you. I’m gonna ruin you.” Joker was shaking with rage. “One.”

You squeaked in fear and bolted from the room. You tried turning the corner but your momentum made you crash into the wall.

“Two…” You panicked hearing the countdown continue and scrambled to your feet. You made it down the hallway right as Joker said, “Three.”

He casually stood to his feet and stalked your tracks straight into the bedroom.

You thought locking the door was gonna save you? How cute. He broke it open and came to a stop right in front of the closet door. He could smell fear on you and a tinge of arousal. Gods above, he loved you.

“Now I wonder…. where oh where could my little slut be?” He sang out knowing you were in shambles inside.

You were sending a quick prayer upward right as Joker ripped the doors off the hinges and dragged you out by your ankle. Your screams were music to his ears.

[cyberbenb]

Her brothers were executed in Bucha, but she can’t bear to go to their new memorial

Editor’s Note: We believe that compelling human stories, written from the perspective of those actually going through news events, will help fight so-called ‘Ukraine fatigue’ in the West by making the news more real and more immersive for readers. 

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Content advisory: The following story contains a video with the body of a dead Russian soldier.

It has been more than a year since two of her brothers were killed, but Valentyna Chmut still can’t bring herself to go to the memorial that marks their deaths.

Valentyna is a resident of Bucha, the Kyiv suburb now known for the torture, killing and looting Russian forces committed there while occupying the region in the spring of 2022. This month locals erected a monument to those killed during the atrocities: more than 500 names are listed on silver plaques. 

“We cannot forget this. We cannot forgive,” the mayor said, during the memorial’s unveiling this month.

The Bucha atrocities marked a turning point in the war: when they were revealed to the world, Ukrainian public opinion dramatically changed. There was fury about the way Russian forces had treated civilians, and hopes for a quick war or a near-term diplomatic solution vanished. For many Ukrainians, the post-Bucha era signified that there was only one way to end the war: total victory over the invading forces. 

Chmut owns a clothes and shoe store in an open-air market near the center of Bucha. She managed to survive the period of occupation, as did her store. But not without terrible memories of traumatic events, which she shared with us when we met her there this weekend. 

Chmut at her store in Bucha.

The first two weeks of the invasion were chaotic for Valentyna. Her two brothers, Yuri and Vitya (both civilians), would routinely come to check on her, and she had a neighbor who would help.

A photo of Yuri, Valentyna's youngest brother. 

Death was all around them: her neighbor's son was beaten to death by Russians and his body lay on a couch for two weeks before they were able to bury him in a backyard. 

"It was really scary to go anywhere, the center was bodies lying around everywhere, dead people with bikes," she said.  

Between the shelling, Russian soldiers came to her door many times, but they were not as harsh with her compared to others because she spoke Russian. 

“Other people were saying that Russians took their phones and destroyed them, but with me, they just pointed out that it is prohibited to picture anything and call and text anyone. And don’t walk anywhere, for your own safety," Chmut recounts. 

An older Russian wore red moccasins instead of military boots, she remembers distinctly. They did not believe she lived alone at first, due to the number of cigarette butts on her table, but after a search, they concluded she was telling the truth and they left her relatively undisturbed. 

Valentyna's property seen after the Russian retreat.

"The thing is that I was so afraid, that I forgot the Ukrainian language. Three armed men entering your house, who wouldn't get scared?" she said. Valentyna spent almost 30 years of her life living in Russia, where her grandson is currently hiding from mobilization. She moved to Ukraine in 2000 to take care of her sick parents but stayed after they passed. 

She last saw her youngest brother, Yuri Pavlenko, on the 10th of March. He brought supplies and showed her a video he had just taken showing a Russian soldier killed in an ambush a few days earlier.

WARNING – GRAPHIC VIDEO BELOW: In this video, Yuri can be heard saying that Russia is reporting no casualties back home but no one has picked up this dead Russian soldier in three days. 

She lost contact with both of her brothers on March 12th, but did not find out what happened to them until April 2nd, after the Russians had retreated. 

She had to piece together the events from others. From speaking to neighbors, Valentyna learned that her brothers had been tortured and beaten when they were captured by Russian forces. 

"People heard a lot of moans and screams. [Russian soldiers] moved into the house where they tortured my brothers. All the walls and radiators were covered in blood. On this street, many people were killed," she recounts solemnly. 

After beating them, the soldiers dragged them outside, and executed them in the streets, according to eyewitnesses.

"First they shot my middle brother in the head and then stopped for a smoking break, making my youngest brother watch and after that, they shot him as well," Valentyna says haltingly. 

A wall pockmarked by shrapnel just outside of the open-air market. 

Nearly 500 days after the Russians were forced to retreat from the outskirts of Kyiv, a memorial now stands in a park at the edge of the city, commemorating victims of the occupation like Yuri and Vita Pavlenko.

The memorial bears the names of hundreds of men, women, and children killed in the city. 

Vitya's plaque. 

It speaks to the importance that Ukranians place on remembering, even while people are still fighting and dying in the war; even while atrocities are still being committed. 

Valentyna has not been to look at the two plaques that bear her brothers' names. 

“What is it to me?” she said. 

Perhaps the emotional trauma she had endured is not something she wanted to be reminded of; her legs hurt her, and she doesn’t walk very much anymore, she added. 

Or maybe the memorial is poor compensation for the pain she’s gone through. 

Yuri's plaque.

Some of those we spoke to in Bucha refused to talk about their family members on the panels: “I’m sorry, I’ve suffered enough at this stage of my life. For now, I’d like to try to leave it behind,” said one person whose close relative was killed. 

The memorial stands as tribute to the fallen. 

Some, like Valentyna, stand at the in-between point: she doesn’t need a memorial to remember something that, for her, is impossible to forget.

The Counteroffensive with Tim Mak is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Good morning to readers; Kyiv remains in Ukrainian hands. 

And as the counteroffensive extends into its second month, there are signs that Russian forces along the frontline are facing critical shortages of weapons and ammunition. 

A video from Russia's 72nd brigade shows soldiers complaining that they have just a handful of ammo, two rifles for 22 people, and insufficient heavy weaponry. When they went to collect ammunition, they were turned back, they said. 

These anecdotal reports track with broader problems in Russian logistics, which the Ukrainians have been systematically targeting. One seasoned analyst told us that Ukrainians had been repeatedly striking Russian targets in rear areas over the recent weeks. 

“Ukrainian efforts seem to be [focused] on… systematically degrad[ing] Russians forces (as opposed to conducting large mechanized maneuver[s]) for the time being,” said George Barros, a Russia analyst with the Institute for the Study of War.

Meanwhile, some of Russia's most capable (and brutal) soldiers -- the mercenaries of the Wagner Group – appear to have arrived in Belarus over the weekend, the Kyiv Post reported. A large convoy of some 60 vehicles, with license plates from occupied Ukrainian territories, were spotted crossing into the country from Russia.  

The atrocities committed by Wagner and Russian forces over the past year and a half have also severely damaged world opinion of Putin and his regime. 

Notably, public opinion on Putin has dramatically worsened: in Brazil, Mexico, Nigeria, Argentina and South Africa, the percentage of people who said they had "no confidence" that the Russian leader would "do the right thing regarding public affairs" rose substantially over the past few years.

Still, the Pew Research Center report found that in India and Indonesia, more were confident that Putin would do the right thing than those who felt the opposite. 

Meanwhile, throughout much of the west and Asia, Zelenskyy inspires a great deal more confidence, with approval of his leadership highest in places like Sweden, Poland, the U.K., Canada, Japan, South Korea and Japan. 

Mexico, Brazil, Argentina, Nigeria, South Africa, and Indonesia had much lower levels of confidence in Zelenskyy. 

Finally, British Defense Secretary Ben Wallace announced that he would be stepping down soon from his post; this comes just days after the staunch pro-Ukraine politician warned Ukrainians that the UK was not an "Amazon" delivery service for weapons, and that Ukrainians ought to show more "gratitude." 

In response, Ukrainians thanked Wallace in effusive and mocking ways, sarcastically thanking him, in this one tweet, for allowing Thursday to arrive. 

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Hi, it’s Tim here from The Counteroffensive’s world headquarters in central Kyiv. 

I recently spent a week in Poland, traveling with the Kaplan Public Service Foundation, which bridges the gap between civilian and military worlds.

We traveled to Powidz to meet with U.S. forces here, and it was striking just how much the Russian invasion of Ukraine has changed Poland, especially with regards to the American presence. 

The 82nd Airborne landed within 48 hours of Russia's initial full-scale invasion last February, and were replaced by the 101st, which were subsequently swapped out for 10th Mountain Division.

The entrance to the American base at Powidz, Poland.

We also met with the amazingly professional Predator, Apache and Blackhawk pilots that were stationed there for training and deterrence purposes. It’s astonishing to me just how squared away these soldiers were – not a question I asked phased them.  

Over the last year and a half, American forces have strategically prepositioned equipment and supplies in Poland in case of an emergency. They’ve quite literally built vast cities to house and train soldiers. To feed the troops, a giant tent was erected as a makeshift dining facility. 

Brand new highway infrastructure has been built to accommodate the surge in soldiers. Should troops and material be needed to be moved quickly across the country, a railhead has been built near the base to quickly load or offload supplies.

I’ll soon be traveling back to D.C. in order to attend a wedding, and while I’m there I’ll be looking for hot sauce to retrieve and get back. Apparently there is a worldwide shortage of Sriracha, which even CNN has caught onto. Will sent me this screenshot, asking whether we could spend company money to “pull the trigger” on the purchase. 

We’re not quite that desperate. Yet. 

Today’s Cat o’ Conflict is this feline that I spotted near a crepe shop in central Kyiv. When I looked over next, someone had dumped a bunch of cat food at its feet, which he/she cautiously approached and began eating. 

Stay safe out there. 

Best, Tim 

This story is sponsored by Daily Kos. You can catch more Ukraine War coverage from Daily Kos staff writers and community members here. 

[ohh-kaye]

2023 Resolutions

Not gonna lie. I failed miserably this year.

I don't know if I should retire this because I honestly just cannot be bothered.

EDIT: this reloaded and deleted all my progress. i will actually un-alive myself right now.

what a fucking mess

let’s review this nonsense. this is going to be extra extra salty because i can’t believe i have to fucking write all this bullshit again.

2022 Resolutions

1. Manage my finances (NO)

i didn’t even try at this. i made an excel sheet for the first payslip that i received and i didn’t even progress after that. i don’t know if i’ll ever be good at this because i can barely look at my bank account without retracting into myself. maybe i’ll use an app next time? 

2. Weekly IG dumps (YES)

I love that I did this. It was a good challenge because I actually had force myself to document something. I had to find something interesting that happened that day. I stopped taking photos of myself years ago because i couldn’t stand to exist in my life. I still don’t but I’m trying to be better at appreciating myself. I’m also easing myself back into social media without it manifesting itself into a toxic beast. i think i’m getting better at it.

there were days that i forgot to post on the friday so i would post the day after and my captions became less and less well thought out but i’m glad that i pushed myself to be out there a little bit.

3. New Instrument A Month (BAAHAHAAHAHAHAHA no)

I opened this tab of drumming basics. Did I open that tab at any point after january??? nope. to quote my brother “It’s impossible to learn a new instrument a month. That’s 12 instruments in total”. When he put it into perspective like that, I knew this goal was unachievable.

It’s okay though. I’m not super cut about this.

4. HelloFresh? Or any healthy food service? (NO)

I was highly considering this but in hindsight, there’s no practical way for this to be a applicable because there’s no space in the fridge. And my eating times have changed drastically this year. Mostly I’d be eating just lunch and dinner. Sometimes breakfast and lunch. Sometimes just breakfast. Sometimes just lunch. Sometimes just dinner. Rarely all three at the same time. And I’d eat at random points throughout the day. It’s a mess so I didn’t really think that this was that viable of an option to eat healthier.

5. 18 or more books (YES!)

This was only on here so that I could at least pass one thing. I read 19 books. I was aiming for 20 but I sadly didn’t make it. This challenge will present a lot harder in the next coming years because I’m averaging 18 ort 19 books a year. I really need to be better. Maybe write those long-ass reviews a bit quicker.

Honestly though the reviews take longer than necessary.

6. GET BANGS? or a new hairstyle? (YES!)

These were my COVID bangs. I think everyone will cut their bangs at one point or another and mine just happened to be during COVID when I was bored out of my mind.

7. Pass the GAMSAT? (let’s stop the nonsense)

what a mess. what do you think???

YES - 3

NO - 4

oof.

2023 Resolutions.

1. Read 20 books!

My Goodreads says 19. Tumblr says 20. Maybe this is just to push myself. I really want to read more books to prepare myself for my last challenge of 24 books in a year. So far it’s not possible but if I try hard enough. Maybe???

2. Book a hair appointment

nothing. AND I MEAN NOTHING has traumatised me more than that time when i was 10 years old and my mum took me to nail salon to have my hair cut into a boy cut as punishment because i didn’t brush my hair properly. NOTHING HAS TRAUMATISED ME MORE. I haven’t been into a hair salon in 9 years. that’s because i refuse for people to touch it unless they have consent. my cousin was allowed to bleach it (but now she isn’t) and i sometimes as my brothers to cut an inch off every few months or so. but otherwise, no one is allowed to touch it. i will threaten to shave my head it anyone tries.

but i’m feeling brave in that i may book a curl appointment? maybe commemorate my near decade of hair salon trauma by having someone cut my bangs properly and have my hair shorter??? why not.

3. Go to the gym at least once a week?

Anytime Fitness has emailed me recently asking why I haven’t been to the gym for weeks. this is not good.

i may have been forced to get a gym membership for discount purposes but i still need to make use of the stupid amount of money i pay.

maybe i’ll be extra brave and use something other than the stair master.

4. Learn a new instrument/ Learn a new song

This is a double because I probably just want to either learn a new instrument or learn something new on my ukulele. for the longest time i had avoided picking up a new instrument or any instrument for that matter because of maybe jealousy of my brother because he is a good guitarist and maybe lack of time because of the transition from high school to uni to job. it’s too hard. maybe it’s mainly my lack of motivation. but perhaps now that i have to keep myself accountable, i may push myself?

5. Vlog?

I did this challenge in 2022 on IG that i would post weekly posts. it’s one photo a day. i really enjoyed that. I don’t know it straight up vlogging is good because it seems like such a tall hurdle but maybe i can do what i did last year but it in reels??? it’s a mini vlog? maybe? something? anything. i didn’t think this through. i just bought a camera and hoped for the best.

6. Manage my finances

let’s try this again. i maybe will start by putting away a portion of my savings. maybe open a separate account and chuck a little bit in there and i don’t touch that unless needed. let’s start small.

7. GAMSAT

we will keep this goal on here until i have means to delete it.

i’ll be nice to myself this year and only do that much. let’s not drag this. odd numbers will make it easier to know if i succeeded.

reflection time!

i think i’ve improved a little but. not drastically though. I’m 25 now. i’m closer to 26. in 2024, i would’ve been in australia for 10 years and i have nothing to show for it.

if i dwell on this for too long then it’ll make me sad and i don’t really want to do that anymore. it’s wasteful.

i’ve improved my confidence a little bit. i’ve made friends at work. i was invited to a christmas party which was nice. i’ve stood up for myself against my family during that america trip we had. i travelled overseas this year without my parents and with planning that was done independent of them. i take photos of myself now. i’m trying to be better with my physical health by going to the gym and making sure i keep my steps up, and my mental health but not necessarily caring too much about how i look, and what i eat. maybe nonchalance is good for me.

i just hope that this year is better.

[mappingthemoon]

We got so lucky with the weather!!! It was overcast the morning of the 8th, but the forecasters on tv were optimistic that the clouds would clear out by afternoon. From my hotel room window on the fourth floor, I could see the hint of blue skies in the distance and I felt giddy with hope. It was still gray when Pete & I headed downtown around 1:00pm. We parked in a neighborhood and walked to Perry Square to meet up with my family (Mom, sister Jamie, BIL Geoff, and niece M.; Dad and my other siblings skipped it); also my high school friend Julia & her partner Terry had come up from Pittsburgh. It was drizzling a little, but the temperature was climbing: the sun came out and the clouds began to break up just before the eclipse began around 2:00. I mean it really did feel magically serendipitous, there was a circle of mostly-clear sky giving us a near-perfect view of the eclipse but you could still see cloud cover beyond. I only say near-perfect because there were still a few clouds and it was just enough to make this totality look and feel a bit different from the one we saw in 2017. That day, in Greenville, South Carolina, the skies were absolutely cloudless, and when totality happened, the Moon looked like a flat black hole punched out of the sky and my immediate emotional/bodily response was that I just wanted to crawl up in there somehow. That’s the feeling I was chasing: Every angel is terrifying, etc. This time, in Erie, totality to me never looked completely black or voidlike, it was more of a hazy dark gray blue, somewhere between slate and cobalt. I didn’t quite feel the same exact feeling as I did in 2017, but I still for sure felt overwhelmed & awestruck. I had decided maybe an hour before leaving the hotel that this time I might try to get a couple shots with my good camera. I had looked up suggested camera settings from Nikon to be prepared, but then in the moment it was way underexposed and I panicked and just opened the shutter all the way to get this photo. (I’m not sure the colors are exactly accurate! But the more I messed with it in post-processing, the more I doubted/contaminated my memory, so I’m leaving it alone for now.) Then I put my camera down because we only had ~4 minutes of totality and I didn’t want to spend them looking through a lens or at a screen. I heard people cheering and yelling all around but I was staring upwards completely mesmerized and didn’t look at anything else but the eclipse. Kind of wish I had taken a moment to observe with my own eyes the sunset colors you can see in the photo at the edge of the shadow; I also forgot to look for shadow bands before and after totality. AND I missed seeing my baby niece, age one and three months, pointing at the Moon from her father’s arms! What an image! But yeah, still, overall, 10/10 experience of total cosmic awe, if I ever win the lottery I am going to become a full-time eclipse chaser. Just like last time, as soon as it was over I wanted to see the next one. Here’s a newly iconic pic Julia took of Pete & me being tourist NERDS:

Totality over Perry Square, Erie, Pennsylvania, April 8, 2024, 15:19:39 EDT | SM Piotrowski

[erodasfishtacos]

could u please do like a harry x youtuber/influencer!reader and like lots of fluff🥺

Hi bubbie! Here you go :)))

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Language

Harry was panicking. His mum and sister were going to be here in less than two hours and he’s burnt the eggplant parmigiana he had worked tediously on. 

He grabbed what he had left in his fridge - ground beef, shredded cheddar cheese, and a little bit of bacon. 

It was the type of foods he usually strayed away from so sometimes when his shopper would bring this stuff home - he’d avoid it and admittedly sometimes it would go bad sitting in the fridge.

The singer pulls up YouTube onto his phone - hoping something would come up when he typed in the ingredients on the search bar.

He clicks on the first video by cookingwithnofucks. A chuckle at the name as an advertisement plays.

A cute, bubbly girl appears on screen in a beautiful modern kitchen. She has a shirt on that says ‘fuck the patriarchy and eat pizza’. A high ponytail and minimal makeup.

“Okay - today we’re making a cheeseburger casserole,” the girl chirps, “It’s a heart attack in a dish but it’s so fucking good.”

Harry finds himself smiling as he crinkles his nose - it sounds absolutely disgusting but he’s intrigued more by the girl on the screen.

“Shit, I forgot to introduce myself. Hiii, if you’re new - I’m Y/N and I do cooking shit. Subscribe to my channel and all that jazz,” she titters while cutting open her beef package.

Harry follows along step-by-step, shaking his head as she doesn’t describe the instructions nearly well enough and is generally all over the place.

It’s a fucking cooking channel and at one point the meat starts burning. She just laughs and says, “s’just a little crispy!” 

The casserole turns out looking even better than Y/N’s to be honest. It’s done in just the right amount of time for him to shower before his family arrives.

He makes sure to subscribe to her channel - eyebrows raising when he sees that she has 16 million subscribers.

Harry wanted to spend longer, looking at her social media but there was a fixed time so he locked his phone and went to get ready.

**

Anne - always the sweetheart just tells Harry that the casserole is delicious even as a bit of grease runs down her fork from the fatty meats.

Gemma wasn’t as kind, grimacing at the casserole and remarking, “You truly are turning into an American, huh?”

**

Laying in bed that night, Harry swipes back onto YouTube. Going back to the page he just subscribed to - under a pseudonym. He clicks on another video.

“Uh, okay. So I’m cooking...fuck, it’s called unicorn bark. It looks like a magical animal puke but it looks delicious so we’re going to try it.”

Harry realizes he’s been watching this girl cook for nearly an hour. Different videos from desserts to dinners.

She curses like a sailor, fucks up almost every recipe, and makes a mess everywhere. But she’s smiling and talkative which makes him quite memorized by her.

**

“I hate editing,” Y/N groans, letting her head fall dramatically against the desktop. Her best friend and dog looked at her oddly.

“I keep saying you need to hire someone, you stubborn bitch,” Laney retorts, clicking through her Instagram feed.

“Fuck off,” she tells her friend with no real heat. The video was almost fully edited - how to make spicy as fuck jalapeño poppers.

There is a calm silence for a while until Laney gasps, “Holy shit.”

“What is it?” Y/N asks, not really caring as she clicks her mouse to trim a segment.

“Harry fucking Styles just followed you on Instagram and Twitter!” Laney shouts, her dog - Rufus popping his head up in confusion.

Y/N looks at her friend to see if she’s really serious and sees no signs of deception. “Oh my god,” Y/N replies. She loved Harry Styles in One Direction and as a solo artist - a fangirl if you will.

Y/N was a well-known influencer and has run in the circles of many celebrities. She’s even met Liam Payne but she’s never been able to bump into Harry.

Her alerts tell her it to be true, she swallows as she looks back up at Laney, “He dm’ed me.”

“Open it! What did he say?” She squeals, squeezing herself on the chair next to her, peering over her shoulder at the phone.

Y/N is a bit nervous, trying not to have a mini aneurysm as she opens the message thread.

HarryStyles: Hello. Just wanted to let you know that your cheeseburger casserole recipe saved my ass last night. Cheers x

“He’s totally coming onto you,” Her friend states instantly, bouncing excitedly - she also had a bit of a crush on the singer.

It takes the two of them a minute to cool their shit before Y/N manages a reply.

Y/N/LN: Well I guess it’s only fair. Your songs have made a few of my nights much better. I’m a bit of a slut for Fine Line.

Harry laughs behind his screen at the cheeky reply he gets back. He’s usually never this forward - especially on social media where he likes to fly under the radar.

HarryStyles: Well if you fancy my music that much, I totally love for you to come to a show. I’m performing in New York City in two weeks.

“This has to be a joke, right?” Y/N sputters to her friend, eyes wide at the invite to a concert she already had tickets to.

Y/N/LN: I’m not going to lie, I already have tickets to the show. However, I don’t have any backstage passes to meet the man of the hour. Do you know someone who can hook me up?

It does wonders for Harry’s narcissism to know that she already had tickets for his concert. Was he really going to do this? He hasn’t met up with some like this since his One Direction days.

He had to remind himself - she may just be friendly and take this as a totally casual interaction. Which would be normal, Harry really shouldn’t be so infatuated with someone he’s watched cook on social media.

HarryStyles: I think I can arrange that. Shoot me your number? I’ll have them sent digitally to you with instructions on how to get backstage.

Y/N is a bit dumbfounded at how fast they agreed to meet up. A harmless backstage tour - he could just be a fan of hers and totally not interested, right?

**

Over the next few weeks, they never really stop texting. Harry sends her pictures of the recipes he copies off her channel - that usually always look better than the original. He sends her clips of him goofing around during tour rehearsal. FaceTimes her when he’s finally home for the night.  

She sends him videos of her watching Harry Styles Best Moment Part Five. A few photos she snaps throughout the city of him on billboards and buildings, in Times Square. YN facetimes him when she’s frustrated with filming or watched a sad movie.

It didn’t make sense to either of them how seamlessly they’d clicked - especially without meeting. They were a perfect balance for each other. Harry - laidback, organized, level-headed. Y/N - eccentric, all over the place, adventurous. 

Jeff had told him that he’s been gaining media attention from his social media interactions with Y/N. They like each other’s photos, begin following each other’s friends, and comment goofy things on their posts.

“Listen, I have a great idea,” Y/N begins - which Harry learned is never good. “You should film a video with me sometime.”

Y/N knew she was going out on a limb and instantly regretted the questions she’d been building the courage to ask for days when it’s quiet on his end. There’s static for a moment and Y/N needs to fill the silence.

“It was - I was just, uh, I know you’re probably too busy. I was -“ She stutters, embarrassment flooding her.

Harry cuts her off, “I’d love to.”

“Yo-you would?” She asks timidly. Was she really going to have Harry Styles in her apartment? If so, should she take down her poster?

He laughs sweetly, “Why do you sound so surprised? I can’t wait to come to New York, love.”

Y/N giggles, “Not the fact that you’re performing in front of a sold out crowd at MSG? I don’t think seeing me will top that.”

“I’ve been looking forward to meetin’ you in person since I came across your channel. You so lovely,” Harry replies, his voice a little softer but more serious.

“I’m nervous,” Y/N admits, picking at a thread in her jeans.

“Me too,” Harry murmurs, despite not wanting to admit it - he wanted her to know this was new territory for both of them. He didn’t want her to think that this was something that he did often. But a little too prideful to admit it’s the first time he’s ever done something quite like this.

“What if you don’t like me?” Y/N whispers, she...well she didn’t compare to the models he’s been seen with before. She’s regretfully fell into the rabbit hole of looking up his past flings and relationships.

Harry barks out a disbelieving laugh, “You can’t be serious, darling. I’ve been gone for you since I saw you burn that ground beef.”

**

Harry was having a bad day - scratch that. An awful one. He tried to go get coffee at eight in the morning and got bombarded by fans, he left the shop without even ordering. They followed him back to his car and it took him fifteen minutes to pull out.

His favorite Mickey Mouse Gucci suitcase he was bringing along on tour had busted. The zipper unraveling and the trim falling off as a result. It was a one-of-a-kind.

Then he’d been stuck on a Skype meeting about tour merchandise with a group of business partners for the last three hours - all he wanted was a fucking nap.

When Y/N’s contact vibrated across his screen, he’s itching to answer but declines as he needs to give these people his attention.

When she calls again, Harry feels a prickle of annoyance. It’s not even at her - to be quite honest. It’s just the shitty day and everything’s piling up.

He always got like this before he kicked off a tour - stress level maxed out and his ability to handle minor incidents nearly shot.

I’m busy

Okay! Sorry, just have a super exciting surprise for you, bub! 

I really do not feeling like talking. I’d rather be left alone.

Oh, alright. Hope everything’s okay! Do you still want to facetime later?

Harry leaves her on read because he doesn’t want to slip up and take out his frustration on her. He’d been known to do that and he didn’t want her to think he was anything but besotted with her.

**

Y/N feels a little hesitant as she begins the uploading process to her channel. The red loading bar told her it’d be twenty-minutes before it’s going to be posted to her 16 million subscribers - one of them being Harry himself. 

Twenty-minutes for her to back out and cancel the upload. She starts having doubts about it when Harry never replies to her text which is unlike him. 

She takes Rufus out to avoid staring at the loading screen with unnecessary anxiety and uneasiness.

**

Harry is just getting home from a business dinner with the touring company’s management team. The tension and anxiety from today piling up on his shoulders and he just wants to call Y/N and crash in bed. 

He tosses his keys in the little bowl in the entry and kicks off his dingy white vans to the side. His phone dings with an alert from Gemma.

You two are the literal cutest ever. It’s quite gross.

Harry slides onto a stool in his kitchen, confused by the text message before she’s sending the link to him.

Fine Line Inspired Cupcakes!

Harry isn’t quite sure why his heart starts pounding furiously in his chest. A sinking feeling in his stomach when he realizes that this was probably the surprise she was excited about.

He clicks on the thumbnail.

“Hiiii, it’s Y/N. Okay, well today we are going to bake some Fine Line inspired cupcakes. And if you haven’t listened to the album - get your ass out from rock you’re living under and stream it on Spotify!”

She has her hair down in long, waves and a loose cropped shirt that says TPWK in rainbow embroidery.

Harrys mouth is dry and he can’t take his fucking eyes away from the screen. 

“Soo, I was thinking the first batch would be cherry flavored? ‘Cause he has a song titled ‘Cherry’. Let’s start there. First - I need to find my measuring cups.”

In true Y/N fashion, she scours her kitchen - cussing and yanking stuff out of her neatly organized cabinets before huffing and storming off to the side.

She comes back into view, a little frazzled but smiling when she holds up the ring of plastic measuring spoons, visible bite marks notched into the material.

“My asshole of a dog had a little snack,” Y/N shows the camera before shrugging, “Let’s get this shit started. Okay, you’re going to need one cup of sugar - no wait, two? I can’t read my fucking handwriting.”

Harry’s absolutely enamored by this scatter-brained, giggly girl who manages to produce cute blue and pink cupcakes that very vaguely resembled his album cover. His heart felt a million times too big for his chest.

He was enraptured for the entirety of the thirty minute video without taking his eyes away once.

To be honest, he hadn’t felt this way since his last relationship which was over a year ago at this point.

It’s not even a thought as he’s requesting a FaceTime with Y/N. 

She answers after a few rings. She has a green face mask painted on her nose, chin, and forehead with gold eye masks under each eye. She is so fucking ridiculous it’s not even funny. 

What is even more ridiculous is how gone Harry is realizing he is for her. She was quirky, unfiltered, carefree. If he was honest - he hadn’t met a girl like that in a very long time - especially a well-known influencer.

“Hi! How was your day, grumpy?” Y/N asks brightly, making a goofy face as the mask begins to tighten and crack on her skin. Not holding the earlier conversation against him and deciding to just move forward. She understood how stressful it can be.

“M’sorry. I was a bit grumpy,” He admits, “I loved your new video, darling. Did you make those just f’me?”

He can tell she’d be blushing if her face wasn’t covered, a bit bashful as she mutters, “You already know I did it for you.”

“You’re too sweet to me, only six days until we meet,” Harry replies, voice taking on a slow, lazy drawl. 

“Six days,” Y/N repeats, eyes crinkling as she smiles with excitement.

**

“Is this outfit too much?” Y/N panics. Even though there’s literally nothing she can do about it - they’re already walking towards the backstage entrance of the massive arena. It’s still about two hours until the show starts but Harry requested her to come earlier.

Laney sighs, “For the millionth time, you look fucking sexy and Harry’s going to want to rail you right when he sees you.”

Y/N shoves her lightly with a faux annoyance as they meet up with a burly man who’s blocking the entrance to the backstage hallway and rooms.

She gives him their names and pulls up the passes on her phone before he’s nodding with any expression and letting them pass.

They’re not quite sure where to go from here so they begin to wander down the long hallway toward what looks to be the main area that people are milling about.

Y/N is nearly on the ground when someone rounds the corner without looking and walks right into her. Both of them let out huffs of air as they collide and attempt to stabilize themselves.

But there are large hands grasping her arms and holding her steady. In typical Y/N fashion she’s already cursing, “fuckin like a brick wall, look out next time.”

Then she’s looking up to Harry staring back down at her with an amused expression. He doesn’t let go of her and instead tugs her against his bare chest. He’s warm and a bit sweaty - like he’d just worked out. He was only in a pair of thin, running shorts, nike tennis shoes, and a little clip holding his hair off of his face.

Y/N can’t help but wrap her arms around his waist, returning the embrace and amazed by how right it feels to be in his arms. Her face tucks right against his collarbone and it’s like they’d known each other for years.

Pictures and videos don’t do this man justice. He’s gorgeous - sharp edges and dark inked skin. Tall and muscular but dimples that are carved in his cheeks. 

“Nice to meet you, m’Harry,” Harry rumbles, removing one hand from Y/N’s shoulder to reach out his hand to her friend.

Laney shakes his hand before asking, “Laney. I’ll leave you two lovebirds be. Where’s the food?”

Harry chuckles against Y/N’s wavy hair, “Down the hall to the left.”

Laney’s trailing off without another glance, she was very food motivated despite her skinny frame. Also not wanting to intrude of the very personal first moments of their meeting.

The popstar pulls back to look down at the girl he’s fallen for in mere weeks. She’s as beautiful as he thought she'd be - if not more. He can’t help himself, “Would it be too forward to kiss you?”

Y/N smiles widely, running a hand along his jawline, “I’ve wanted you to kiss me since you stayed up on FaceTime with me until two in the morning as I cried after watching The Notebook - despite me seeing it a million times.”

Harry ducks forward to press his lips softly to her, large hands come to cup the side of her face as they connect. He’s so gentle as he moves his mouth against hers. In true Y/N fashion, she’s bold and has no hesitation slipping her tongue into his mouth.

He’s so fucking in love with her. It doesn’t make much sense - it’s definitely not logical but he’s realizing that’s okay.

“Oii, get a room!” Someone shouts from down the hallway teasingly.

Harry flips them the middle finger and pulls back, pink lips swollen and puffy, dimples on full display, “Let me take you out to dinner after the show, darling.”

“You going to wine and dine me, Styles?” Y/N giggles, unable to contain the pleasant warmness he’s spreading through her body. 

“Mmm, have t’make sure you’ll want to keep me,” Harry murmurs happily against her lips once again, pressing kiss after kiss to her to make sure she’s real, “Definitely want to keep you.”

Y/N bites teasingly at his bottom lip, hand planted on the soft but firm skin of his stomach, “You’re never getting rid of me, hope you know that.”

“Was hoping you’d say that, now let me introduce you to my band.”

                                  -- ---- ---- -- 1 year later - -- --- --- --

“Hi bitches! Today is a super special day. We have the one, the only Harry Styles filming with us. I know that’s not really that special since he’s on here all the time with me. But we’re celebrating our one year anniversary!” Y/N smiles, bumping hips with Harry who stands dutifully next to her. 

Anyone viewing can see the absolute heart-eyes and adoration he has for the girl standing next to him. He’s still as lovestruck and gone for her as he was the first time they met. Harry’s fans were thrilled - for the first time in years, he’d opened up again.

They weren’t very public on social media beside’s tagging each other in memes and posting the occasional picture. Y/N was constantly uploading cooking videos from wherever in the world she was with Harry on his tour, she’d also begin making vlogs about different foods she’s been experiencing.

---

“Okay, so here in Peru - they’re known to have this really fucking spicy beef with noddles. So obviously, I’m going to make Harry try it first,” Y/N laughs as she props the camera up on the side of the table on a napkin holder.

Harry - who has a concert in a few hours - frowns at the steaming dish in front of him, “Darling, I don’t want to try it first. It’s going to burn my mouth. Not gonna be able to sing.”

“You’re sucha baby sometimes,” Y/N rolls her eyes, slurping up the noodles with her fork while making a silly face at her boyfriend. She pulls back, straight-faced, “It’s not hot at all. Tastes amazing, though.”

Harry takes that as an initiative to shovel a spoonful into his mouth. It only takes half a moment until his taste buds erupt in fiery flames from the spices, “You bloody little brat, y’tricked me! It’s so fuckin’ hot!”

Y/N smiles widely, laughing much too loudly in the restaurant when Harry chugs the glass of water next to the plate while glaring at his love. “I’m sorry, s’just to easy with you, lovie,” She replies, leaning over the table to press a kiss to his lips. 

He’s a sucker for her and kisses her right back despite his mouth being an inferno. His heart was on fire for her and that burned much more intensely.

---

“No, love. The instructions say baking soda, not baking powder. They’re not the same thing,” Harry sighs, attempting to read her scribbled, sloppy handwriting. She’d already spilled milk on half of the paper.

“S’interchangeable, right?” Y/N hums, cracking an egg into the bowl and Harry automatically knows to look to fish out the eggshells that’d she’d let slip in because she sucks at cracking eggs but always wants to do it.

Harry reaches over her, grabbing the vanilla extract and a teaspoon, “It’s not, baby. Lemme do this real quick.”

“Will you make me a grilled cheese after this?” She asks, nuzzling into his side and wrapping her arms around his waist as he finishes adding the wet ingredients to their bowl. Harry stopped questioning her thought process a long time ago.

Harry swipes his finger into the mixture of icing off to the side and rubs it right onto her nose, cackling at her pout and squeaking when she pinches at the fleshy skin of his hips. She in turn dips her finger into the sugary cream and pops it right into her mouth.

Harry eyes darken, watching her lips purse as she sucks off the icing. It was a dirty move on Y/N’s part and she knows it. It has her boyfriend dragging an icing-covered thumb along her collarbone before leaning down to slowly lick up the sugary trail with his tongue.

When Y/N slides her fingers into his hair and lets out a pretty moan, Harry’s standing back up, trailing over to the tripod and saying into the camera, “We’ll be back after a little commercial break,” and is then turning off the record button.

It takes little to no time for Harry to have Y/N’s bum on the countertop, mouth on her neck, and hand in-between her thighs.

And when they finally posted a very edited final cut of the video - well there may be a couple of fans who notice the how flushed Y/N is halfway through and a lovely purple mark on Harry’s neck that wasn’t there in the beginning of the video.