#i thought this was just a sex joke about Irish people

[teoandaurelioaregayashell]

[sinsandsweetness]

CAMERA SHY

(Rick & Daryl x fem!reader)

warnings- 18+ content. extremely filthy smut. not even joking srsly. lots of sex, filming it, unprotected p in v, oral (r!giving), cream pies, fingering, so many pet names it’s kind of sickening, dirty talk, one use of ‘daddy’ cause I just couldn’t help myself, two cocks at once, light choking, cowgirl, little bit of ass play, and spitting. think that’s it <3

notes- thank you guys for all the love on ‘birthday boy’! I’m so glad that so many of you enjoyed it. I thought I’d do a sequel/part 2 for it, where the boys film your alone time. It does occur directly following, but It can be read independently if you want! 3.1K word count.

Please let me know what you think! xoxo

Daryl made his way over to the dresser, no shirt on, just some pyjama pants slung low on his hips. His back still glistening, with water droplets trailing down his muscles. All taut and tan. The sight alone made you shift positions. Moving to your knees so you could squeeze your legs together. How on earth were you still horny?

He ruffled around the drawers contents and pulled out a video camera. A hand held silver one with a flip screen. One of those ones that people would film their home movies on. Christmas mornings and dance parties. Road trips and first steps. Though you’re pretty sure you guys weren’t the only ones using it for something a little less tasteful.

You couldn’t help but look over at Rick while Daryl played around with the thing. Turning it on and checking the battery. Getting it all ready for the movie you were about to make. Rick was biting his smile back. Trying to suppress his excitement about the situation.

They’d talked about this before. How they wanted something for when they had to be away from you. For longer supply runs that left them both a little hot and bothered. Missing you, waiting patiently for them back at home. Thinking about you touching yourself in their clothes. In their bed. Moaning their names and missing them just as much. And it’s not like phones were a thing anymore. You couldn’t call or sext. They just had to wait til they got back to deal with it. To deal with you.

If you were honest, the thought of them filming it, was a little nerve racking. But you wanted your boys to be happy. To always have a part of you available for their needs.

So there you were, sitting on your knees on the edge of the bed, both men standing in front of you, smelling like Irish Spring and laundry detergent. Looking down at you with two sets of the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen. Ricks hand was on your jaw, his thumb rubbing your lip and sneaking it’s way between your teeth. Your eyes were on Daryl, tilting the lens down at you. The little red light intimidating you with its glow. You shifted a little, thighs squeezing together even more, with both your hands shoved in between them.

“What are you squirming for, baby? You gettin’ all shy on us now?” Rick asked, with a teasing tone. Your gaze shifted between them. Swallowing hard. Yes. You nodded a little.

“You’re gonna do great, sweetheart. Just do what you always do. You’re always so good for us,” Daryl’s own hand was making its way to the back of your head, fingers finding their way into your hair.

Their praise helped a little. At least gave you the courage to reach for their waistbands, pulling each of them down. You grabbed them both in your hands, already rock hard in your grip. Both of them kept smiling down at you, giving you a little nod to keep going. “Go on,” they motioned in unison.

So you did. You licked at Daryl’s shaft, getting him all wet with your tongue before moving over to Rick, and repeating the same process. Feeling their grips tighten on your hair and the hitch in their breaths was all you needed to step it up a notch. Being sure to look right at the camera, you wrapped your lips around Daryl’s cock and started to move your head back and forth. Sucking him off all sloppy and messy. Just the way he likes it. Blushing hard but forcing yourself to step out of your comfort zone. This was for them.

You could feel a pearl of Rick’s precum drip onto your hand as you jacked him off, so you decided to swap. A string of spit from Daryl’s tip was still connected to your lips as you started on Rick. Keeping your hand on the other man, being sure to give them equal attention. You never wanted one of them to feel left out. Not that they ever did. They both knew how much you worshipped them.

You kept swapping back and forth. Gagging every so often when one of them would push a little too hard on the back of your head. Spit started running down your chin, and little sounds escaped the back of your throat. The whole situation created a pool of wetness in your panties. Surely soaking through the fabric.

Rick took you by the hair, pulling you off of him with a ‘pop’.

“Feels real good, baby. You look so pretty with your mouth wrapped around us.” He started, thumb rubbing all lovingly against your cheek bone. “But I think we’d like to get these panties off and give the camera a good look at some of your other pretty parts.” Rick playfully shoved your shoulder. So you dropped back onto the cool comforter. Knees coming up and crossing your ankles in anticipation, waiting for whatever plans the two were silently deciding on.

“So fucking wet, Daryl. Look at her.” Rick said, hands parting your legs so they could settle in between them. You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks at their words. Their amused little laughs.

“Soaking right through, isn’t she? Sucking us off turn you on, sweetie? Is that it?”

“Uhuh. So much.” You nodded, propping yourself up onto your elbows. Both men on the mattress in front of you were making themselves comfy. Hands started trailing up your legs and playing with your boy shorts. Tracing the wet spot as your hips bucked. You were just so ready for them. Cunt still puffy and aroused, and even a little sore from your first round. But so, so ready for another.

Daryl made sure to capture Ricks fingers, tracing the wet spot of the cotton, and rubbing circles against your clit. Over your underwear, teasing, poking and prodding. Pulling them to the side when you whimpered a little, and his index finger glided through your slick with ease.

“Always so wet for us. Such a pretty pussy. So fucking pretty.” Rick praised, mesmerized at your swollen cunt. Practically throbbing for their attention. You lifted your hips as Daryl dragged your panties down. Throwing them off to one side of the room. They spread your legs so wide that your muscles hurt. Inner thighs stretched out and knees hooked around either man. Pulling them closer to you and eachother. Not that they minded.

They played with your pussy for a while. Getting you all sorts of worked up. Both of their fingers inside of you, stretching you out and making you groan. Clutching at the comforter below. Rick spat right on your clit, and you just about came right then and there. Unbelievable turned on by their focus. They slowly worked away at you, curling their fingers inside you and rubbing at your sensitive nub with their thumbs, definitely showing off a little for the camera. Taking everything just a a little slower than normal. So that they would have the most footage possible. Capturing your moans and whimpers and the way you moved against them. Desperate for more.

“Please I just- I-” your hips bucked further on to their fingers, and you could see the little look they gave each other. All mischievous and lustful. “What is it sweetie? You wanna cum? Is that it?”

You nodded eagerly. But with your confession, both men’s hands withdrew. Causing the quietest whimper to leave your mouth.

“Ugh,”

“Don’t complain. We just want you to cum on our dicks, that’s all. Isn’t that something you want, princess?”

It was more than ok. In fact it was preferred.

“Wanna cum on your cock, please.” You whined, pulling at Rick’s tee shirt

He groaned. He didn’t mean to. It’s just what your words could do to him.

“You will, sweetheart. I promise.”

You did. And it would have been a lot sooner if it weren’t for the damn camera in Daryl’s hands.

They had you get on top of Rick, straddling him as he sat up against the head board. Daryl started getting creative with his angles, with the camera behind you as he played with your ass, all while you rode Rick’s cock. Bouncing up and down as you held onto his shoulders. Pressed nice and close to his chest. His hands trailed up your shirt, peeling it off so he could grope your breasts, pinching your nipples nice and hard. Eventually his fingers wrapped themselves around your throat and squeezed gently on the sides.

He was stimulating every part of you that he could think of. His tongue was in your mouth the whole time. You stayed moaning against his lips and grinding down against him. Desperately trying to achieve more friction against your clit. It was driving you both wild.

Daryl stayed filming the whole thing. His own hand grabbing at your ass, thumb prodding at your other hole. Threatening to split you open once again. You were shocked he wasn’t touching himself. That he wasn’t getting his own dick wet. That he could actually keep the camera focused, even with the sight in front of him. The pure temptation to join in must have been killing him. Leaking precum all over his plaid pyjamas. That thought made your hips stutter. Along with the fact you’d be riding for what felt like ever. Your legs were starting to wear out. Muscles becoming all heavy and forcing you to switch from a bounce to a grind. Rick noticed you tiring out and decided to start fucking you from below. Hands moving to grip your ass cheeks and help you bounce. An actual cry left your mouth and you both knew you were close.

“Ohmygod, ohmygod, I’m- Rick I-” you babbled against wet lips. Trying to hold off as long as possible, but he just kept hitting that damn spot. The spot that made you physically convulse around him. When Daryl’s dick pressed against your ass and you felt his hand squeeze your waist, that was it. You snapped like a rubber band. Cumming all over Ricks lap, your head fell back against Daryl’s chest as your rode out your high. Your body starting to twitch from the intensity of the orgasm. A very shaky sigh left your mouth as you all stopped to a halt.

“Feel good?” Daryl asked, lips brushing your ear, camera over your shoulder and pointed at Rick. The grainy screen was displaying his pretty face, lips parted and wet. Eyes focused on you. The lens moved down to show your hands. The ones still gripping Rick shoulders, tight enough to leave marks. He smiled when he noticed.

“So good. You make me feel so good, daddy. Both of you. Both my-” you were catching your breath. Rambling in your post orgasmic daze and drunkenness. But they weren’t done. And you knew that before you even came. They wouldn’t be done for a while. Even with your pussy practically raw and begging for an ice pack. You should have been begging for a break, yet somehow you were still dripping with need.

“One more, baby, then we’ll get you some rest okay?” Daryl asked all sweet, hand trailing under your shirt to squeeze at your breast.

“Want you both...” You whimpered. Rick’s cock still stuffed inside you. Filling you up and making your walls twitch. Yeah, you weren’t done.

You tried to get up. Figuring that they’d want you in another position. Something to switch it up. But when you pushed on Rick’s chest and tried to lift, they held you down, keeping you on his lap.

“What are you tryna do?” Rick smirked at you, wrapping his hands around your ass and moving your body for you. Grinding yourself against him again. The sound of your wetness squelching and making you blush.

“Was gonna move, I thought-”

“I’m really enjoying this view. Aren’t you?” Rick said, leaning in for another kiss. He always loved eye contact. Loved seeing your expressions and feeling your moans while you kissed.

“Mhm.” You agreed against his mouth. There was really no sense arguing. Even though you’re quads were on fire and you could barely lift yourself off of him to continue riding.

Daryl moved to place the camera on the bedside table. So that the three of you were in the frame. When he came back behind you, hands on your hips as he started kissing down your neck, your shoulders and the top of your spine. All while Ricks hands rocked you against him, fucking into you nice and slow.

“You gonna let us fuck your tight little ass again sweetie? Or do you want to get that pretty pussy all stretched out?” Daryl asked.

You turned to try and look at him. A little shocked at the suggestion. There was no way that would fit. Right?

They both chuckled at your reaction. Daryl’s thumbs already pushing themselves in to your asshole. Stretching out the tight muscle.

“We can do that?” You asked. Never even having considered it. But it was definitely intriguing.

“We can. Might hurt a little though,” Daryl warned you, catching your lips as his fingers moved down even further. Using your excess wetness to push his index in your pussy. Still stuffed full of Rick. You gasped as he hooked his finger upward. Even Rick made a little sound. Surprised by his own dick being touched and your walls stretching even further.

“Wanna try…” you sighed. Trying your hardest to relax your muscles. To allow them to actually ruin you. Split you in half on both of their cocks. You couldn’t imagine a better pain.

“Ok baby, we’ll give it a try. Just tell us if you wanna stop, ok?”

“Go real slow Daryl. Let her get used to it.” Rick told the man.

“Let her get used to it. Or you?”

“Both. Seriously, just go slow. Don’t wanna break her.” You could feel Daryl suppressing a quiet laugh against your skin. Two fingers now moving inside of you, getting you ready for his cock.

“Alright, come down a little,” he retracted his touch and pulled you by your hips. Both you and Rick shifting downward so he could lay back. His head pressed against the pillow. He stayed inside of you as you leaned forward, opening yourself up for the man behind you. Kissing the side of Ricks mouth and up to his earlobe. Knowing exactly how much he loved that.

Daryl spat on your hole. Moving foreword and pressing his tip against you. Pushing ever so slowly as the two of them stretched you out.

It hurt. But you expected that.

“Breath, sweet girl. Gotta breath, ok?” Rick told you, hands wrapping around your ribs nice and tight, holding you up since your legs were completely useless. Daryl’s hands were on your hips. Pulling you down onto the two of you until he managed to actually fit himself inside. All of him. Him and Rick. Inside of you, together. It was hard to even believe. But you were so stretched out, there was no denying that it was possible.

“Oh god,” you mumbled at the realization. At the feeling of being so fucking full.

“Oh god.” Rick repeated with a grunt. It was even better then last round, you realized. At least for them. Having the added pressure of another cock, rubbing up against them both. That extra friction affecting you all.

“You two all good?” Daryl tried to confirm, his breaths a little laboured as well.

“Yes!” You squeaked, realizing that Daryl had started to move. Thrusting slowly into you.

“Y-Yes. “ Ricks eyes were rolled back. The two of you breathing hard. And the sight of him in so much pleasure made your walls tighten. Earning another groan from them both.

“Keep going. Keep fucking me, please.” You asked them politely. Your wetness was running down your inner thigh.

So they fucked you. Rick from below, and Daryl from behind. Completely abusing your pretty little hole.

Rick was in heaven. You could tell by his eyes. All glossed over with his lips parted, breathing impressively slow. He was trying to focus on not cumming so quick. Daryl’s hands gripped your hips real tight. Snapping his own right against your ass. Nails leaving little crescent moons in your skin. Whispering little praises in your ear.

“So fucking tight for us. Such a good girl, always taking us so well. Doing so well, baby. So, so, good.”

You’d never taken them both. Not like this. And having them both together, was intense. Hitting every single spot inside of you. Ones you didn’t even know about. Ones that made you cry out and call their names.

“Still ok, baby?” Daryl asked, becoming just a little concerned by the sounds pouring out of you.

“Gonna cum, Dare, gonna- oh, oh.” You could feel a tear slip onto your cheek. Wet and salty when it hit your lips. The pressure and the buildup catching up to you. Hurting so fucking good. Your core was all hot and tight and your head became fuzzy.

“Don’t stop,” you whined, burying yourself into Rick’s shoulder as your orgasm rippled through you. A burst of heat running down your thighs and up your stomach. Waves of pleasure pulsed through your core.

The two of them moaned your name and a couple other profanities. Honestly, you didn’t hear. A little too hazy to pay close attention. They each came inside of you. Their seed physically flooded out of you when Daryl finally pulled out. Very slowly and carefully, so it wouldn’t hurt you too bad. And Rick too. So gentle and caring. Both boys Immediately getting you to lay down between them. Your pussy was fucking aching. But you didn’t mind too much. They kissed you lots. All over. Asking you a million times if you were ok. If it was too much. If they wore you out too badly.

“Gonna have to give you some time to recover, huh?” Rick asked, coming back from the kitchen. An ice cold glass of water in his hand.

“You’re sure we didn’t hurt you too bad?” Daryl added. Rick picked a towel off the hook on the back of the door. Bringing them both over for you.

“I liked it.” You responded. Not fully answering their questions. You would definitely need a few days. At the bare minimum. Your cunt was swollen, and you could feel it. Rick handed you the water and you drank up. The coolness coating your throat. Gulping a few sips down and passing the rest to Daryl beside you.

“Gotta get you all cleaned up,” Rick started with the towel in between your legs, wiping up the pearly mixture that had coated your thighs.

“Again…” you joked, smiling up at him.

“Bath? Shower? Just the towel? What do you want?” He smiled back.

“Mmmm… bubble bath,” you bit your lip.

“Bubble bath?” Daryl asked from beside you, smoothing some of your hair down. Trying to tame the unruly mess.

“Mhm,”

“Only if we can watch.”

“You can film it for all I care,” you turned to catch his lips. Grinning against your mouth.

They sat down on the vanity stools and watched as you laid your head against the tub. Both of them smiling down at your cuteness. Soapy suds hiding your body under the water. Only the tops of your breasts threatening to breach the surface. The hot water and lavender bubble bath doing wonders for your sore muscles. You were sure they’d give you a massage after, if you asked all nicely.

Despite the undeniable toll on your body, you’d relive the night again in a heart beat. Having them split you open all over their cocks was always ideal. But seeing Rick’s face as you got double stuffed, was the cherry on top. Shuddering beneath you and cumming with an actual moan. Accompanied by Daryl’s stuttering hips and grunts of his own. Each of you fucking eachother into a mess of pure ecstasy.

Thank fucking god they got it all on camera.

taglist: @rickswh0r3 , @elnyrae

[ comments and reblogs are always appreciated ]

[slocumjoe]

ways people write the companions that make me go hmmm

Gage excluded because I haven't seen enough portrayals of him

Cait; Poor Cait has such confusing, odd writing choices that I can’t blame anyone for doing this, but...when she’s boiled down to either Tough Irish Gal or Traumatized, with little dimension. Again, Bethesda does this themselves in text, depending on ??? so it’s not, like, a big deal. My advice for writing Cait is to remember that she exists outside of being Irish or Traumatized. She’s read/read about Freud, for example. So, she presumably learned to read, likely self-taught. If she read something psychology related, she must have taken an interest in it. That sort of thing. The best way to write Cait is to not take the obvious answer, because Cait’s depth itself isn’t obvious.

Curie; When people write Curie as a stupid, horny, smol bean 2 gud 4 dis world, i throw up in my mouth. Same as Cait, this is Bethesda’s fault. They have a habit of going for funny dialogue instead of sensible. There is no reason for Curie to say half the shit she does, she says it because someone thought it was funny, or worse, sexy. I’d recommend going through Curie’s likes/dislikes and dialogue even more so than I do other companions. Curie has a lot of edges if you go looking for them. Y’know Covenant? Curie supports Covenant. Also, she’s literally a robot in a human body. She’s 200+ years old, too. Make her fucking weird. Y’know how elves/fae are? Like that. Bonus if you make her friendliness off-putting. Being friends with a doctor gets annoying, speaking from personal experience. Also, being a doctor, she knows all about sex and sexual pleasure. She’s not confused what a dick is

Hancock; please acknowledge other aspects of his character beyond horny, sad, or high. He has them, I swear. Do you even know his parents’ names? No. You care only about ghoul dick or stoner jokes. He’s not even a stoner, he does the Fallout equivalent of meth/adderall. Much like Deacon, he does and thinks about other shit. I joke with Hancock as well, but you might notice that none of my actual reacts/headcanons open and close with shit like “he huffs some jet with one hand, fingers you with the other, and thinks about how he sucks”

Danse; i promise you, Paladin Danse is not hypervigilant of people’s asses/tits/dicks/whatevers. He’s not imagining having sex with your busty Sole every time he looks at them. That’s not just not Danse, it’s also very creepy and dehumanizing to both Danse and Sole. Is Sole not more than their tits? Other companions get the too-horny treatment as well, but I see Danse getting it worse of all. Sometimes he’s written as absolute manchild regarding sex, knowing literally nothing, same as Curie. I say Danse doesn’t know what jerking off is as a joke, but he probably knows. But Chronic Virgin Danse is usually a light-hearted joke, Hypersexual Danse is just fucking weird. It gets into unhealthy territory. Like...Danse wouldn’t want to fight people flirting with his crush. He wouldn’t even get aggressive if he was dating Sole. He’s not a hotheaded asshole. Annoyed at best, rude at worst. It’s giving Fifty shades/Twilight/After. 

Deacon; You guys know that when Deacon takes a shit, he isn’t dedicating it to Barbara, right? He isn’t dedicating it to his own redemption, or saving synths? He isn’t thinking up a cool lie to make about the shit-taking? When he has a drink of water, he isn’t like, “Barb used to drink water.” or “The U.P Deathclaws drank water” or “I’m gonna say I killed a behemoth with a water bottle!” Deacon has other thoughts and motivations beyond the meme or the sad. I can’t judge too much, because Deacon himself would approve of being thought of like this, but good god. Just let the dude be a dude sometimes. Let him shit in peace. 

MacCready; might be because he’s the most solidly written, but very few complaints with most MacCready stuff. Him being a little perverted is in character, he’s 22. However, I have seen people straight up forget Duncan and Lucy. It’s okay, though. So did Bethesda.

Nick; Also usually solid, the most common crime is that aforementioned After Shades of Twilight writing. Nick is not a possessive dude. He’s even less likely than Danse to get aggressive over his partner. Yeah, sure, he’s a cop, but is that really the fantasy you want? Really? 

Piper; I have...famously strong opinions on Piper, but good god. Blue this, Blue that, I’m gonna write about this, this’ll look good in my paper, I’m putting this in the news. Oh my God. You’d think Sole was a fucking SMURF with how many writers call them Blue. You’d think Piper dragged her writing press behind her like Sisyphus heaving his boulder along. Same as Deacon and Hancock, SHE DOES OTHER SHIT. People bend over backwards trying to work in the fact she’s a reporter. Same as Cait, the obvious is not interesting. 

Preston; fuck the settlement jokes, I hate it when Preston is turned into an UwU soft boy baby cinnamon roll 2 gud 4 dis world UwU sunshine sweetie pie cutie. Whenever someone does this, they don’t actually like Preston. They have no thoughts, no feelings, they just...I don’t know, want to be contrarion to Preston haters? “Imagine not liking Preston, couldn’t be me ;333″ you realize this is racist, right? Like, you know infantilizing black men is racist? Oh my God you don't know this is racist

X6-88; SPEAKING OF FUCKING RACISM. The highest discourse I’ve seen around X6 is calling it ableist to HC him as autistic, but that is NOT the biggest issue with X6 writing. X6-88 is best described as, like, a very expensive, very spoiled cat of a rich, Old Money asshole. You know the Evil Stepmother’s cat in Cinderella? That bitch. That’s X6 in a nutshell. That’s how you write X6. I’m not even going to get into the racist ass portrayals of X6 because fuck is it tiring, just gonna leave you with this; X6 is best when you see his character for the humor and genuinely interesting philosophies in it, and not when you see him as a BDSM hardcore porn big dick sex god dominant daddy who likes spanking. 

[alwayslosingtheplot-blog]

Where magic comes from

Sometimes I itch until I bleed and still feel the need. I see the blood, the tearing and still feel the skin that is no longer there screaming at me that something crawls along it. My hands and my scalp is where it happens. I prefer the scalp.

It's easier to hide on the scalp. Easier to forget when it finally stops, to allow to scab over. Pulling out those scabs feels good. To catch them beneath my nails and feel the tug and how they trace the hair they travel along. Oh, don't make that face. I'm aware it is gross. i like it anyway.

I hate my hands most days, red and flaky with dozens of tiny thin lines of scratches announcing to the world my lack of impulse control.

Sometimes I worry that the itch is coming from under my skin, something trying to dig its way out rather than an external reaction -what? The power in me dying to be let out? It's not. It's just eczema.

I cut my nails when it gets bad, as far back as I can to give my skin a chance to heal and then regret it when I seek relief.

None if this is the magic, you understand? There is no point in collecting my fingernails for your spells or fighting each other the napkins with my blood. Those bruises are for nothing. I do hope that you were joking about what you claimed to do with the scabs.

You should apologise to your brother. The biting was wholy unnescessary. It would have been even if the whole thing wasn't a stupud waste of time.

Yes, I'm serious. I do wish you had talked to me first. Was it Pip who told you to do this? That bastarding cat...last time I summon a familar, I'm telling you. Not worth the hassle. What else did the little shit say?

What? Canibalised my mentor? Ha! He wishes.

That old goat is still alive, thank you very much for the vote of confidence. She retired. Lives in a ground floor apartment in the city with two Irish Wolf hounds and does a lot of knitting. The wolf hounds just *love* Pip.

Yes, I know the city is too hot for wool. She finds it funny.

But you are wondering where the magic comes from. Thought you could get more by doing weird things with bits of myself that I cut off? If injesting bodily fluids made you magic my boyfriend would be a grand Mage. Oh, don't make that face. Making you think about us having oral sex is as good a punishment as any.

Sorry? So where does magic come from? No idea. No, i'm serious. This isn't a 'wait until your ready' thing.

Well, do you know where time comes from? But you can count seconds? Add up minutes? Judge how long something will take?

And other people understand it more, right?

No. I'm not calling you an idiot. I wish you would listen to what I actually say rather than react to the words you imagined out of my mouth.

How to explain this? Let's stick with the time thing. Other people made sundials, and building that only light up one day a year, right? They made little mechanised watches to count the seconds and ways to tell the hours apart from each other.

People made watches without having a single clue about where time came from. They made calenders to track the moon and their bodies. They did all of that without knowing where time came from.

That's what we are, darling. We are the watchmakers of magic, you and I. Only right now you are learning the days of the week and I'm writing entire calenders. Stop wondering about the where and the why and start figuring out the what of it. Stop looking for shortcuts.

Oh, and apologise to your brother.

[dilettantereviews]

Here's my 2022 Best Of! Yup, that's right, 2022. Better late than never, huh?

Rico Nasty- Intrusive

I heard good things about Rico Nasty for years but her other projects were a little too repetitive for me to fully commit or enjoy her work. This mixtape sees her replacing her industrial rap sound with a more varied approach. She sings over drum and bass and acoustic music. If you enjoyed Princess Nokia’s Metallic Butterfly or Azealia Banks’ Broke with Expensive Taste, then I recommend this album for you. My favorite songs are Messy, Easy, and Focus on Me.

Sasami- Squeeze

After her work in Cherry Glazer and her 2019 solo debut, Sasami finally (somewhat) broke through with this album and it’s no wonder why. Mixing influences as varied as Sheryl Crow and industrial, Sasami showed us about opening up your heart or wanting to destroy someone else’s. My favorites are The Greatest and Skin a Rat.

Charli XCX- Crash

As her first proper album since 2019’s Charli, this album had a lot of expectations placed upon it since True Romance is her best received official album. Fortunately, it all worked out for her and for us. This album sounds like you are scrolling through the Dance Dance Revolution song selecting screen around 2005 with songs you don’t realize you know until you hear it again years later. My favorites are Constant Repeat, Used to Know Me, Selfish Girl, Good Ones, Baby, and of course, Beg for You. 

Beyonce- Renaissance

This album was a victory lap for Beyonce. Not that she slacked off this era, but after creating two innovative video albums, Beyonce wanted to have a more upbeat album after the pandemic. As someone who prefers her uptempos (in a fun club kid way, like Haunted, 7/11, Formation, Six Inch, and Partition instead of the stan wars “go back to Dr. Luke!!111” way), I’m here for it. My favorites include All Up in Your Mind and Pure Honey.

SZA- SOS

I have a general policy where if someone takes over 4 years to release their next project, I develop some kind of object impermanence about them. Not even maliciously, but for every Sky Ferreira (side note: This was written when we still thought Don’t Forget was a part of an era) or My Bloody Valentine, there’s a synthpop band from 2016 that stubbornly sits on the second page of my Last.FM with 189 plays. And I like SZA! CTRL got me though 2017 and 2018 but I completely forgot her rerelease and in between singles until I was preparing this review. So when I heard she was releasing a 20+ track album I was skeptical. It turned out to be great. I enjoy the developed and detailed instruments and her personal lyrics. My favorite songs are Kill Bill, Blind, Shirt and Gone Girl.

Fontaines DC- Skinty Fia

Fontaines DC had a well deserved bigger break out in 2022. I don’t really have a thing to say about this album but I like the way they mix post punk music with a mix of their own Irish culture and gothic and industrial sounds. What could’ve just been a couple of lads at the pub is a unique and informative look at the band and their culture. U2 and Inhaler are shaking. My favorite songs are Jackie Down the Line, Skinty Fia, and How Cold Love Is.

Vero- Unsoothing Interior

I learned about Vero on Popjustice… at least 5 years ago? For a while, it seemed like they would drop a single heavily influenced by Poe and disappear without a follow up or any momentum. I understand it’s hard for new artists to make things work logistically, but they even had repetitive cover art so we couldn’t just joke that there was a wait between the EP and debut. That’s why I was so confused when the album was dropped in 2022. Hailing all the way from Sweden, Vero has vocals that remind me of Shirley Manson and Kim Gordon with post punk music I heard NPR describe (someone else) with the term “fleabag-core”. My favorite songs are Sex and Me and TV shows and Exit 2.

Coco and Clair Clair- Sexy

People always say nostalgia does too much heavy lifting in music now, but the right references can truly justify the most Tweet Deck derivative works. Coco and Clair Clair, who I was very surprised to learn are from Atlanta instead of the UK, have a very retro inspired album that could’ve just been lost in the hyperpop Y2K space with everyone else but they have a different reference pool that elevates them. Hypnotic girl group whispery vocals over whispery chillwave and drum n bass beats truly take me back to the person I was in 2011-2012. If you have a Tumblr photoblog with a convoluted layout that only showed pictures and no captions, this album is for you. If you keep up with McBling depop, this album is for you. If you ever described LAMB by Gwen Stefani as a hip hop album, then this album is for you. I would recommend this album for fans of Kitty and Niki and the Dove. My favorite songs from it are Bad Lil Vibe, Pop Star, and Be With U.

Alvvays- Blue Rev

I didn’t really listen to them before this and I only knew them for the …unique spelling of their band name and a Tumblr post that heavily implied that they should be kept in 2014. Well, this album should put all of their critics to shame. This album was recorded after the band lost their old demos and instruments in a robbery and they were still able to record this album. Pairing dreamy landscapes over fuzzy guitars, Molly Rankin’s confessional lyrics deal with the unexpected nostalgia of running into your ex’s family members in public (a sort of Dan Fogelberg moment for our generation) or justifying a creative career. Besides Pharmacist and Easy on your Own, I recommend Very Online Guy, a leftfield song about male internet behaviors (a self drag, but I want to see how many men wrote about that song and the album). If you only know them from Marry Me, Archie (a song I would personally not leave in a time capsule or box set for indie pop music from 2010-2014), I strongly suggest that you give this album a chance. Fun fact: In addition to being a great meeting spot for coanchors to meet each other, Good Morning America also has a year end best of list and put this as their #1 album. A few years ago, they put the solo project of Soul Coughing’s frontman’s project. So maybe GMA is our new Pitchfork, NME, and Spin Magazine combined (side note: I wrote this before the Pitchfork reshuffle happened, oops).

Shygirl- Nymph

Shygirl has finally released her long awaited debut after releasing her stellar debut. This time, she ditches the electronic and abrasive sound of her 2018 EP and enters her Manny Santos sensual R&B era while still sounding futuristic. Firefly is a song that sounds like it was a Britney 2001 deep cut dusted off and released in 2172. Nike is my other personal stand out.

Hatchie- Giving the World Away

On her sophomore album, Hatchie continues her dream pop and shoegaze sound and expands into some darker palettes that wouldn’t be out of place on the altronica playlist. If that album transported you into a daydream, this album is a moody walk in the rain. My favorites are This Enchanted, Till We Run Out of Air, and Giving the World Away.

Soccer Mommy- Sometimes, Forever

This was sort of a new sound album for Soccer Mommy, with a little more focus on the production. Working with OPN, she had a darker, hazier, more detail oriented production. My favorites include Unholy Affliction, Don’t Ask Me, Feel it All the Time, and Darkness Forever (which gave me Portishead’s second album vibes). This album is more Madder Rose than Massive Attack but you should still give it a shot.

Momma- Household Name

Nostalgic guitar based indie rock that sounds right out of 1994. Reverb guitars, harmonics, and shoegaze pedals. Recommended if you like Siamese Dream by Smashing Pumpkins or Bully’s debut. Speeding 72, Lucky, Brave and No Stage are my favorites. 

Luna Li-  Duality

Psychedelic alternative R&B with a chamber/art/baroque pop edge. I love how she mixes her vulnerability on songs like Flower with strong guitar moments like Alone but not Lonely and What You’re Thinking. This album feels like if you mixed Kali Uchis with Kadjha Bonet. Recommended if you have only used emojis as captions.

Kilo Kish- American Gurl

Kilo Kish’s last official album was released back in 2016, but her pair of consecutive EP’s that came out in 2018 and 2019 were a more focused and cohesive electronic sound. On this album, she went back to her unique existential pop with irreverent Adult Swim vibes. With her kitchen sink production, detached vocals, and quirky irreverent sound, this album has a lot of reasons to not work but somehow puts everything together and keeps you overstimulated like a TikTok video. Recommendations include Choice Cowboy, New Tricks, and American Gurl. Recommended if you like Santigold or Imani Coppola.

Vitesse X- Us Ephemeral

Growing up, I hated electronic music. Did I listen to it or seek it out specifically? No, not in the slightest. But it was just annoying as I saw my beloved Radio Disney pop rock acts just be seen as cringe as what I call ‘unts unts’ music went on the rise. Also, I just thought the fans were annoying. Maybe it was just in my community, but there were a lot of teen DJs who just got jobs hosting or playing cultural events and sweet 16s and posting pretentious memes that made me roll my eyes. I’ve never seen a MLM girl in real life, but I’ve seen DJs talk about how school is just there to mold you and as a DJ, they can be their own boss. Also, just growing up in the teen club/4 loko/Ed Hardy era just made me think it was all try hard “OH, you’ve never been to a festival?’ stuff. But eventually, Charli XCX helped open my mind to new electronic acts while trip hop and deep house helped open me up to older electronic genres. Then I had an “if it’s retro/ironic it’s okay” mentality but now I can regularly like electronic music. That leads us to Vitesse X. Her art deco style of electronics invokes the sleek future, through her stage name and hi tech titles. Is she making a concept album about how technology was supposed to bring us together but is bringing us apart? Is it a scifi story? Did she promise us a video for each song that made a movie but she stopped and hoped we would forget about it? No! She’s making music you could hear at Zara’s, in your car, or even at a party or club. In this age of hot takes, think pieces, and more, a concept like nepobaby can go from a fun internet only in joke to a “reclaimed” term that loses all meaning. Vitesse X helps prove that sometimes, saying less really is more. My favorites are Potential Energy, Centrifuge Me, and Us Ephemeral.

Piri and Tommy- Froge.mp3

The drum n bass duo that came out of the blue and right back into it. Words is the best positive motivational affirmation dance song since Show Me Love by Robin S. I also like Silver Lining and On & on. It looks like we’re not getting a new project from them, they split up and now they’re going to ruin all of our Last.fm charts because they each get credited separately. 

They Hate Change- Finally, New

I feel like Drum n Bass has been on the rise since Princess Nokia’s Metallic Butterfly went on streaming for the last few years, but it had been kind of mixed with other electronic sounds like hyperpop or UK garage so it was an afterthought. They Hate Change overcame that. Rapping over Drum n bass, the Tampa duo helps showcase something cool and forward thinking from Florida on their label debut. I recommend them if you like Outkast or Big Fish Theory from Vince Staples. My favorite songs are Who’s Next, Little Brother, and Perm.

Foushee- Softcore

I hate to make a Mean Girls reference in 2024 (this was another review I had written in winter 2023, before I knew there was a movie adaptation of the Mean Girls musical coming out), but this album reminds me of the Halloween party scene where Cady shows up in an “ugly” costume while everyone is wearing cute costumes and she is confused. That is how this album feels for alternative R&B. While now everyone with a slowed down drum beat gets an alternative R&B genre tag, but this is truly “alternative”, mixing slinky R&B vocals over guitars and yelling. Even if it doesn’t always work (several songs are under 2 minutes), you can definitely admire the attempts. Behind SZA, Foushee is the second best R&B album from a New Jerseyan in 2022 (sorry, 070 Shake). My favorite songs are I’m Fine and Simmer Down. Listen if you want an internet poisoned pop star but Doja has gone too far for you. 

Ravyn Lenae- Hypnos

After her stellar 2018 EP, Ravyn finally followed up with her debut album and it was worth the wait. Her airy, hypnotic vocals still sound fresh and the collaborations don’t take away from the sound at all. My favorites are 3D and Venom.

Sudan Archives- Natural Brown Prom Queen

Sudan Archives made it very far on my 2019 Best of List. I would not be able to tell you a song from that album, or if she even made it on (because as of this writing it is still unpublished) but I knew she was talented and I thought her violin gave her a unique sound. This time around, she did a sonic 180 and went for a more left field mixture of sounds and had an even better album. Listen to stand out Homemaker. 

Glacier Veins- Lunar Reflection

Normally, I consider my best of list a failure if I don’t find at least one new, completely random small Bandcamp band that didn’t get reviewed from Allmusic or Pitchfork or any other major website. If they don’t have a Wikipedia page, even better! This year, Glacier Veins is one of those bands for me. If you like female fronted pop punk with a side of experimental noise pop added to it, I would definitely recommend them. 2018’s KID, 2009 Paramore, Halsey, Poppy, and Willow fans should be happy. My favorite songs are Cover Me, Here & There, Lunation, Autonomy, and Flower Moon.

Amanda Shires- Take It Like a Man

Alt country queen. Recommended if you waited for Jenny Lewis’ album for Puppy in a Truck or you enjoy feeling like you are a Sons of Anarchy character or perhaps Yellowstone. Mature alt country with great, clear production. My favorite song is Hawk for the Dove. (Side note: I wrote this way before they filed for divorce). 

Lola Kirke- Lady for Sale

Picks up where Pearl Charles left off for countrypolitian. If you thought this would be a low effort vanity project you are mistaken. Unclear if this is a pastiche or not but very unexpected country album from this British actress. Pink Sky is my favorite song. Recommended if you like Pearl Charles or Margo Price.

Honey Dijon- Black Girl Magic

A great house music DJ. Recommended if you want to keep the party going after Renaissance.

Montell Fish- Her Love Still Haunts Me Like a Ghost

I listen to an adult alternative college radio station regularly and to paint a picture of what that’s like, I can now say “wow, that Paul Simon song slaps”. Sometimes they do play younger, internet only bedroom produced artists like Claud, Kafune, Joe P, and now, Montell Fish. When I first heard the distorted bass and reverbs I was confused at how different and all out he went but this is a true EP of heartbreak and desperation. Listen if you like PM Dawn, Miguel and Steve Lacy. Pretend Lovers is my favorite song. 

Carly Cosgrove- See you in Chemistry

Nostalgia really can sell anything these days. In the DJ world, we got DJ Sabrina the Teenage DJ, DJ Ross from Friends, and DJ Seinfeld. There’s even the genre of Dariacore! Emo has a 2000’s pastiche in Carly Cosgrove, a reference I embarrassingly didn’t get for a long time. The nostalgia stops there and the rest is a solid pop punk record. I don’t really listen to a lot of pop punk/emo so I can’t compare to others in the genre but I think the vocals give the instruments room to breathe. My favorites were Rue the Day, Cloudblock, and Munck. Listen if you miss the channel 2000’s The N but at this point would settle for the era of Teennick that only replayed iCarly, Zoey 101, Drake and Josh, Ned’s Declassified, and Victorious. 

[nightsidewrestling]

Eddie and Kirby Little Slices of Canon (1/?)

Me and @piratewithvigor have been talking about different things we think about Eddie and Kirby's relationship. It led to this.

@tantamount-treason @thedollmaker16 @janetreader

Quick Note: I have decided that Kirby's face-claim is Christina Applegate

SFW & NSFW under the cut.

Eddie's dick is 6 inches and thick when erect.

Eddie has experience.

Before meeting Eddie, Kirby had no experience.

Eddie has thought of plans for fucking Kirby everywhere they go.

Eddie is a show-off, but fucking Kirby is still for his eyes only.

'Doll' is Eddie's favourite nickname for Kirby.

'Doughboy' and 'Kingy' are Kirby's favourite nicknames for Eddie.

Eddie's very soft when he's around (just) Kirby.

If Kirby's ever injured, even accidentally, Eddie will either immediately apologise (if he caused it) or he'll promise to kill whoever hurt her. If it's during sex because he's being too rough, he will immediately stop and make sure she's okay before even daring to make out with her again.

During her time with the Native Pride Regime (NPR), Kirby dyed her hair blue (to add to the joke of the NPR looking like Gorillaz) and she ended up looking like a female 2D. Her hair was blue from the age of 16 (in '07) to 20 ('11) when she dyed her hair red.

Eddie's seen photos of her from this time, including bikini photos from when she was eighteen and had short blue hair, this led to Eddie accidentally calling Kirby 'Mia' (Eddie once dated Mia Yim [this is areal fact]) during sex.

Kirby got very pissed about it and Eddie knew he fucked up the moment her name the name left his lips. He feels so bad about it and the first thing he says is 'Doll, I didn't mean it'.

Kirby regularly has to tell Eddie to put his tongue back in his mouth and not to talk about his dick.

Eddie's mocked Matt Menard by telling Kirby 'Ya know what makes Daddy Eddie's dick hard?" and Kirby's almost fainted from giggling too hard at him.

Eddie's practically addicted to Kirby, seeing all her scars as marks of survival, and something to be loved, rather than ashamed of or feel ugly because of. It's why he makes a point of kissing the scar on her face, to remind her he loves her, all of her. He tells her all the time that he loves her, all of her.

BODY PRAISE. Both ways, Eddie to Kirby and Kirby to Eddie.

Eddie's a titty guy and loves body praise.

Kirby calls him strong and powerful, even calling him her 'soldier of New York'.

Eddie is perfect height to put his face in Kirby's boobs, being chin height next to Kirby.

Eddie takes Kirby on beach dates, knowing she overheats easily and will take her shirt off. Eddie still has to adjust himself in his pants when he sees her shirtless, he can't help his reaction because he loves her so much.

The worst thing is when Kirby's breastfeeding their kids because Eddie knows he shouldn't make the situation sexual, but he wants to put his face in his wifey's titties. He is slightly jealous of the kids, but would never say so. Kirby does ask but Eddie denies, he will use her tits as stress relief by putting his face in her cleavage.

Eddie gets turned on by Kirby getting angry at others. Bonus points if she gets so angry she talks in Welsh or Irish. He may not understand the language, but he understands the vocal patterns and that's all he needs.

Eddie and Kirby occasionally speak Spanish to each other, but mainly when they don't want people understanding what they're saying or listening in to their discussion.

Because Eddie's Catholic, he's always down when Kirby says she wants another baby, if God said be fruitful and multiply then who is Eddie to say no to getting Kirby pregnant.

Eddie doesn't care if they raise the kids Catholic, just that they observe the holidays.

CHRISTMAS!!!

Eddie gets really excited about Christmas and at first Kirby's confused, because Eddie's made it clear he hates Disney, but he's put on the Muppets Christmas Carol and is talking about buying the kids stuff from the Disney store (if they're in the UK). Eddie argues that Muppets are only recently Disney, so they don't count when it comes to his hatred for Disney.

If they're in New York, Eddie invites his parents over and puts up with his dad's attempts to teach the kids.

If they're in Wales, they spend Christmas with Kirby's parents, Eddie quickly finds the family photos and videos, studying them like he used to study wrestling as a kid.

Eddie makes excuses to interrupt Kirby when she's writing emails to her family, he'll bring her coffee, snacks, ask her to open jars he pretends he can't, all to get her attention off her laptop or computer and onto him, even if it's just for a few seconds. He's similar to a dog, always wanting attention. Eddie notices that Kirby's smiling at her phone, he immediately wants to know what she's looking at, usually it's just a meme her mother's sent her or a cute picture from Renee of Jon and the dogs. Eddie's forever curious about whatever has Kirby's attention.

Eddie gets JEALOUS, Kirby has to calm him when he finds out that Bryan and Claudio have text her. Eddie will flirt with Kirby in public, because she gets shy and hides her face, which Eddie finds cute.

Eddie makes the joke that, because Kirby has eyeballs tattooed on her ribs, he has a voyeuristic side and when he fucks her all eyes are on him. He asks her to take her shirt off, not just so he can see her breasts, but so he can see the eyeball tattoos as he rocks her body.

Eddie also sleeps with just a tank top on, while with Kirby it depends on the weather conditions, of she's cold she'll sleep with a jumper on, if she gets very warm, she'll sleep with just underwear on. Eddie spends most days, when it's warm, trying to convince her to sleep in the nude and let herself relax. And he's certainly not doing it to see her naked, oh never.

[georges-chambers]

My unpopular opinion is that vampires are actually very lame, boring, and not actually all that enticing. Why would a vampire be enticing when you could go full cannibalism on someone? Something like "Ravenous" is far more homerotically enticing than anything Vampire related. I am bored by them and rather uninterested in them as a whole and they simply do very little for me. I have to enjoy the character as a character when vampires are involved. Otherwise the whole vampirism trait is just... bland and like: "Okay. And I'm sure their favourite colour is blue. Those bits of information hold the same amount of value to me."

Firstly I see your point but some people are cowards. And need to be slowly radicalized. By me. And generally I do feel the same where like. I really have to enjoy The Character to also enjoy that they're a vampire. And them being a vampire has to add something to them, which brings me to;

That part about cannibalism actually reminds me of a character who I recently got (back) into after (re)watching Preacher after like 2017. The major vampire character in that (Proinsias Cassidy) is. Alright, so to spoil it a bit and give an idea, he was born in 1897 somewhere around Dublin, and became a vampire after having the absolute worst night of his life in 1916 after seeing his best friend brutally murdered in Irish uprisings, deserting his poet because of it, and then being dragged into a bog by a vampire and turned by them (they put so much effort into the bog vampire that I'm also kind of obsessed with them but they were unfortunately never focused on). Because of that, he feels like there's no point in returning to his family and community for a lot of reasons (firstly likely his desertion and the regular early 20th century 'this is a monstrous thing that I am! This is so so horrid and so am I for it!' Feelings, but he also later tells a story about a woman he knew having all 6 of her kids die at the end of world war 1, and then at some point his criminal record in the United States is read, implying he went to New York in the 1920s, then travelled around most of the 20th century). After that, he goss on to have something of a life of crime and escalating shenanigans such as a lot of drugs. But every now and again, when it's mentioned (such as his murder of someone in the 1920s), his outward personality of a 'fun-loving party guy' (which, in the scene he's introduced in, it becomes clear he actively utilizes to get people to lower their guards around him when they're in any way dangerous to him, like religious extremist vampire hunters) starts to slip and he suddenly seems consumed with a sopping wet, pathetic kind of sadness.

At this point, I'm realizing I'm kind of selling you on him like a used car salesman but like please stay with me here.

There's this repeated long-running joke in the show where he talks about the idea that people 'use skin graphs now. Insane, right? Just take skin from somewhere and put it somewhere else? And they're probably using foreskin too' which sounds like just such a silly thing for him to be sooo horrified by right? Especially when he enjoys so many other terrifying things like the character he's absolutely in love with (she kissed him. Once. When she thought he was a human who was dying. They also had sex once which he referred to extremely sadly once as having 'made love') irritatedly picking blood and viscera out of her hair. But surely not indicative that he clings to his conservative terror at the prospect of cannibalism as a remnant of the time and place he wants to go back to but can never right?

Well, at some point there's a very detailed scene in which he imagines getting far enough with the one he loves so much to tenderly kiss her for a while, before he loses track of himself and starts cannibalistically eating her. It's only after that that we see him, terrified by his own ideas alone, terrified by things that, by that point, other characters frequently see and have absolutely little to no problem with.

There's also a part in which he shows his 'true self' to his. Best friend of. Less than a month. Seriously, he met the main character at a bar or something, they talked for a while, and then he was willing to brutally murder anyone who was a threat to him at all. These 2 were just. Unwell about each other. And he can survive literally anything as long as he can eat flesh/drink blood after (but it has to be from something recently deceased or still alive). Except the sun. So to show his best friend his true nature, he just. Walks into the sun after saying, 'Are you gonna let me burn now too?' And does catch flame and burn horribly before he's put out. He then spends a while locked in a room being slowly healed by eating various animals until someone manages to trap her shit husband in with him, who he eats, but not before the audience can know he doesn't like doing that at all.

But then that best friend goes back to him there, the one who's horrified is Just Him. His friend just apologizes for having let him burn and generally been awful to and dismissive of him, but he's just like, "but.... you did put me out. Eventually🥺".

Much later in the show he's also revealed as canonically bisexual with a morally worse vampire who likes the 'stereotypical' vampire aesthetic, until he finds out he does actually eat people and major confrontation ensues. But only because he was so extremely pathetic about it all that the followers of that vampire had Cassidy turn them so they could all devour that other vampire (vampires can always devour other vampires in this).

Later on, the major antagonist of the series offers him literally anything he'd want (to be lovers with that character, to just Go Home, to his own time and place) and he keeps refusing, but during that, he's summed up best, with the line, "I think you're a little boy who wants to go home." And he just. Cries in the most pathetic way I've ever Seen. And the last scene after that is the main character discovering him almost dead, forced by that character to drink blood out of desperation, saying, "I'm sorry. I said no. I kept saying no. Until I said yes. But for you. Not for me." And the main character, who has spent the past 3 seasons just being horrible to him, is gently holding his hand telling him he understands and he did his best.

ANYWAYS. I hope I've convinced you he's. He could maybe be an exception. Because this isn't even all of the. Well. Everything about him.

[orleans-jester]

“Wouldn’t be that embarassing. Whoever sees us would just assume that we had some crazy good sex,” Thomas said, a proud little smirk on his face. “Which we do, of course.”

“Now that’s an idea,” He chuckled, though apart from maybe Pokemon and Sailor Moon, he didn’t know much about anime. He could start. “Or I’ll just trim my hair a bit and look like one of the thousands of guys in a boy band. They all had the spiked up hair.”

“If you see any on the way, let me know,” Thomas agreed willingly enough. Camping under the northern lights sounded a lot more romantic, anyhow. Fuck the law and all that, he might be able to get a sympathetic Irish cop who would understand the enchantment of such a thing. Trespassing didn’t always mean a bad thing. “Even just sleeping bags, I’ll keep you warm, love.”

“All of it,” He grinned. “Whether we sleep on the cold hard ground or in the softest bed, I’m only happy if it’s with you.” And he meant that, even though he was grinning, glad of his own little joke. He thankfully hadn’t had to spend many nights on the ground, he wasn’t Bastien who was used to dirty floors and newspaper blankets. But he could tough it out, he was sure of that. The wolf knew the ground more intimately than himself. “Never any shrinkage around you.”

“It’s the idea of there always being a light to bring you back home, no matter how far out into the dark you might adventure at times,” He said, giving his own perspective about lighthouses. “If you’re lost, you will be found and that sort of thing. I also remember hearing about lighthouse keepers. The kind that were dropped off on a small island somewhere for months at a time, having only each other for company. Could be the kind of thing that makes a person go mad but - I kind of fancy that life sometimes. You and me - a small island, staying cozy, really getting to know one another, each and every habit, and love growing from that.” He spoke like he was in a reverie as his eyes watched the road. “Yeah. I wouldn’t mind that for a while. But I wouldn’t give up our lives right now for all the lighthouses in the world.”

He started to laugh again, finding it charming that it was that memory that Flotsam associated with his ass. The time that he had gotten on a bike and Jetsam had jumped on, nearly making him lose his balance. Those had been some good days. He though of Jetsam ever once in a while, missed him even. “Cause they are real - we live many, many lives through those stories.”

He nodded as Flotsam told him about the hotel room. “Good to have options - and a kettle for my morning tea,” He smiled. Coffee was never his speed. Did he carry around a small tin of his own, with loose tealeaves for steeping just in case? Course he did - that might be appreciated here more since they were closer to England. The weather here in Ireland, the Emerald Isle because it fuckin’ rained all the time, was perfect for a good cuppa.

“Ahh, great, I’ll be able to put this fine ass in the same chair as the stars,” He chuckled to himself. He let the car fall into silence as Flotsam fell asleep. That was fine with him. His warmth was enough to make Thomas not feel lonely during the long drive, occasionally putting his hand on Flotsam’s leg or rubbing it calmingly as they went.

He would let Flotsam sleep until they got in close to the northernmost edge of Europe. He rolled the window down a touch and that familiar Ocean air was breezing through. Some people might hate it, but Thomas liked the salty smell. He thought of the Oceans as whole other worlds - full of strange creatures and endless depths. Depths so far below that no matter how much equipment people wore, the pressure would kill them before they got anywhere close to reaching the bottom. Terrifying, yes, but intriguing.

He could have stopped by the inn, had a rest, but he was feeling proper awake right now. It was starting to get late but he wanted to see the place at night before they turned around. The amount of stars out there tonight. He turned off the car, and then he lightly shook Flotsam. “Wake up, love, you’re going to want to see this.”

Flotsam noticed the Scout-doo Thomas was sporting and taming back into shape as they first drove away.

"It'll settle long before we get there, love. Don't worry. Always does. Wouldn't letcha embarrass yerself." He said as he reached over and gave comb through of his own fingers over and around his ear as he often did once settled in the car unable to quit touching the man.

"Although you know we have anime styles on lock if we really wanted for any costumed event." He teased. "We could both be mad styling."

He'd nod his head about the hotels. "Good idea."

Then he had a second thought. "Or camping store?"

He had no idea if people were allowed to hang around Malin Head over night considering how watched over Skellig was, but it was an idea. He'd look that up too momentarily not that he was always a rule follower, but he liked to know what he was getting himself into before he began.

"Exactly. You get me." Thomas seemed to understand right what Flotsam was trying to explain so all was right with the world. But, then he really started laughing.

"You, me, camping, or a good hotel bed? In more other words famous words of Jimi Hendrix. Are You Experienced? Fuck yeah I am and I know what happens in both situations. Aint gonna be no shrinkage here."

Then Flotsam contemplated lighthouses being romantic.

"Hmm. Never really thought about it. I heard Willem say that before, calls it his candle on the water, and I mostly just figured he was high and liked the ocean like me since he's a seafaring type guy. I do see artists always trying to paint them like it's some kind of symbolism. I've always gotten the ships and the anchors. People get those as tatts endlessly. I think what bothered me about lighthouses was it was the sign of trying to get back to land or reality while I was always trying to make it to the ocean or like get out of my head when it felt so far out of reach and reality sucked. I'm a poetic guy like that. Even Kuzco has a thing about lighthouses I noticed. Not entirely sure the story there except for his estate is also ocean side. I figure it correlates somehow. Willem's about it. Kuzco's about it. Even Sparky lived in one. She said it and I never went there out of spite of her family outside of riding some duck boats. It was on the river Mississip, not the ocean. Now you said it. That's it. I have to investigate this. We have to go up the lighthouse and see what all the fuss is about."

Flotsam loved Thomas was getting to do all the things he wasn't allowed if wanted to. That was golden. He wanted to be that for Thomas. Flotsam read somewhere most toy sales were from adults buying toys for themselves not children and that made him smile somewhere in his heart. People were allowing themselves to play more and not be so serious. When Harry Potter was mentioned Thomas said the most perfect thing. "That's it. You nailed it. That's exactly it. That's one of the many reasons I love your fine ass. Excuse me while I picture it on a bicycle again with Jetsam on the back because that booty fine. You're willing to do that with me. Everyone got boring and uptight. When we read a story, the words become a movie in my head. I see our movie everywhere. It becomes real."

Bilbo and Frodo indeed.

"I'm ready for our next adventure now."

If Flotsam was a video game his happiness meter would be rising to full.

"Okay, so I just booked us a hotel room in Donegal County not too far away to keep our options open. Also, luckily unlike Skellig this place does have actual toilets and coffee within human range since it's a peninsula not a remote tiny island. So, we're open to wing it and go with the flow do this however to our heart's content. Even a pub. Apparently the one all the Star Wars' actors hung out in since it was so close."

Flotsam leaned against the edge of his seat as the drive went on. Poor Thomas. Flotsam was going to get a snooze in before they got there and he wasn't.

[anonair]

𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐝𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲- 𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐬 𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SMUT! VERY SEXUAL! 18+

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You're a professional wrestler, along with your boyfriend Roman. When Roman makes a statement about a certain position, you decided to prove to him that you could do more than just missionary every single night.

Gif Credit @/romanreigns

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch

NOT PROOFREAD

Pillow Princess: When you prefer receiving more than giving. (Word derived from the LGBTQ+ community so I hope I’m not destroying the term by using it in a straight imagine.)

You and Roman hadn’t had a moment to talk about what just happened on live tv. Of course, he plays a character, but you know there’s always some truth that lies within his jokes. Missionary every night? He never seemed to be tired of it. You rolled your eyes at the thought of his joke being on the screens and replaying on the phones for thousands of people to see. You were a wrestler yourself and now its become the butt of the joke in the locker room. Everyone thinks you only do the missionary position for sex! Its embarrassing!

Your thoughts got cut off by the sound of the tour bus door opening. You didn’t realize what look you had on your face; you were completely consumed in your thoughts. “Why the look on your face?” Roman asked, walking closer to where you sat and pressing a kiss against your forehead. You snapped yourself out of it. You weren’t really mad, just annoyed that everyone perceived you as ‘lazy’ in the bedroom. “MISSIONARY EVERY NIGHT?” You bursted out, playfully hitting roman with one of the pillows that had lied across from you on the couch.

Roman couldn’t hold back his laughter, immediately laughing. You didn’t know if you were annoyed anymore or if it was just funny to you, but something in you wanted to prove to him that you weren’t just a ‘pillow princess’. You furrowed your brow, crossing your arms. “I’m serioussss” You said in a whining tone. “Everyone thinks I’m a pillow princess now!” You pouted out your lips, still having to look up at roman who leaned against the counters across from you in the tour bus. “Oh stop. For all they know it wasn’t even about you.” He cooed, but then his laughter followed and ruined his consoling tone. You just now started thinking about the guys side of the locker rooms. You haven’t been out in the halls enough to be even seeing any of the guys. Too busy practicing your matches with your tag team partner to even remember that there are men who are probably laughing and agreeing with Roman. “Hey, women can have fun and feel good in other positions.” You raised your brows, standing up and walking closer to him. You stood on the tip of your toes to almost be as tall as him (still no where close). You Moved your hand to his crotch, lightly gripping his soft cock. “I could prove it to you.” You said, seductively walking away into the bedroom.

You could see the confused, yet allured look on his face. “You’ll show me?” He asked, knowing what he was getting himself into. He followed you into the room, where you had already begun to undress into your underwear. Neither you or Roman had any matches today so you both weren’t sweaty. In fact, he was looking fine in his white shirt. The shirt read ‘Head of The Table’ which was ironic because you were about to show him who had control. You walked over to him, pushing his body onto the bed. You quickly climbed on top, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. You wanted to tease him, show him exactly what you could do, but not right away. While you were going to please him by changing positions and not just doing ‘missionary’ you also wanted to make sure you maintained dominance and that you got just the same amount of pleasure.

You trailed the soft kisses away from his lips and onto his neck, one hand snaking up from behind him and pulling his hair out from the bun it was in. You threw the hair tie, his hair dropping to his shoulders. You got a good grip on it, tugging his head back a bit. Not enough to hurt him, but just enough to assert your dominance. You kissed all over his neck until you found his sweet spot, your kisses growing wetter and sloppier when you found it. A small groan escaped past his lips as you did this, causing you to start sucking on it. You sucked until he released another moan. You could feel his hands wrap around your waist, one of his hands hooking around the hem of your underwear. He played with it, a clear sign he was already to go. You denied his offering to undress you, releasing your grip from his hair and pulling back from his neck to reveal a red-purple spot on his neck. You smirked, moving your hands down to the bottom of his shirt and pulling it over his head. You flung that too, “Head of the table? Doesn’t seem like it right now.” You teased, bringing one hand down to his hardening cock. For a second, you could see his dominance being tested. He tugged your underwear harder, “No, you have to wait.” You moved his hands from off of your waist. You stood up, signaling for roman to move closer to the edge of the bed. He obliged, showing how desperate he was for you already, You dropped to your knees, bringing your hands up and tugging on his pants. “You want them off?” Roman asked, a slick smirk appearing upon his face. This was when you knew it was going to be harder to assert your dominance. “Are you questioning me? I want them off.” You said, strongly. You didn’t want to beg, but you knew that was what it was going to come down to.

Roman laughed, “Come take them off.” He argued, but you knew he wanted it just as badly as you did. He stood up, the lighting from the tour bus gracing his chiseled body and making it look irresistible. You pulled his pants, along with his underwear, down to his ankles. The sound of his hard cock smacking his stomach was like sweet music to your ears. Roman finished the rest, sliding off his sneakers and unhooking the pants and underwear from his ankles. You looked up, licking your lips and wrapping one of your hands around his cock. The size of his cock looked huge in your head, only making you grow more wet in anticipation for when it would be in you. You pushed those thoughts out of your head, you wanted to gain control again. You brought your tongue to his tip, swirling it around and teasing him. He watched, his eyes practically begging for you to suck and take it all in. You didn’t give in. As sweet as he tasted, he deserved to know you could change things up. You pressed little kisses up and down his length. “Do you like this, daddy?” You asked, acting as if you were giving into his desires. “I want to see my cock deep down your throat, princess.” He moaned, not realizing he just fell into your trap. You took the whole tip into your mouth, sucking and then pulling away. The popping noise it made was loud, making you look up and bite your lip. “Beg.” You said, standing back up. “You want my pretty mouth wrapped around your cock? Beg for it.” You said, leaning in and pressing kisses around his chest. Your hand wrapped around his cock, pumping it to make up for the time you wouldn’t be sucking. “I need your mouth.” He moaned. “What was that?” You replied. Teasing him was turning you on. To know the intense desire he was feeling for you was only making you want him just as much- if not more. “Please, baby.” He groaned. You obeyed, dropping to your knees and taking his whole cock into your mouth. You felt his big hands get a grip on your hair, using his hands to push himself deeper and deeper in your mouth. You could feel yourself soaking through your underwear at this point. His cock twitched and he pulled out. He was close, but that means he was enjoying this.

You stood up, pushing him right back onto the bed. You started to undress yourself. He watched, stroking his cock while he waited. You moaned at the sight of him. You straddled him once more, but this time it was to ride him, not just tease him. You gripped onto his cock gently, bringing it close to your wet entrance. You slid only the tip in, trying to tease him, but failing. Roman bucked his hips up, making him thrust into you fast and hard. Without realizing it, you let out a loud moan. You didn’t want him to think he was in control again. You put your hands on his chest, adjusting yourself before moving up and down on his cock. As you were bouncing, you twirled your hips. “Fuck, Y/N. You were prepared for this, huh?” Roman asked. Little did he know, he was right. You fantasized about this moment previously, but it was only now being put into action by his choice of words on live tv. You slowed the pace down, only taking half of him in while you moved around on his cock. You could feel your thighs burn, but it only made you’re motivated to keep going- just like when working out. You let out little moans, giving roman lustful eyes as you rode him. You squeezed your walls tighter around him as you moved slowly, causing him to let out a loud moan. Without realizing it, you started picking up your pace. You moaned louder as roman stroked into you. “What a pretty girl you are wrapped around me” He moaned out. You were close to your high, but refused to say anything until he did. You could feel his cock twitch inside of you, a sign of him losing control. “Cum in me, daddy.” You moaned out.

Seconds later, almost as if on cue, he shot his warm juices into you. You moaned out, as you came after. You both rode out your highs, feeling your heart race as you did so. You got off of roman, making sure to be gentle. You let out a sigh of relief, you finally proved to him you could do way more than just missionary. “Damn, baby girl. Missionary is out the window if you keep doing shit like this.” He chuckled, making you blush. Don’t get It wrong, you loved missionary, just hated that roman made it seem like it was the only thing you could do. You stood up, your legs trembling from the wild ride you just had. “I told you I could do more than just missionary.” You winked.

[daughters-of-liberty]

Why isn't asexuality an identity? (I don't want to debate, you just got me curious)

Like I said: stop pathologizing the human condition. Not everyone wants to have sex all the time. I think it's absurd that now mere feelings are regarded as sexual identities.

You have things like demisexual, which is someone who only wants to have sex after they've made an emotional bond...like that's revolutionary or something.

You have allosexual and alloromantic, which are just basically normal people. Cause that needs a term right? Everything needs a fucking category, now.

And then, my personal favorite: aroflux. Which refers to someone whose "capacity for sexual or romantic attraction changes over time". So...basically...EVERYONE!

It's absurd. And how many stories I've seen from people be like "I thought I was ace, then I met so-and-so and started having sexual feelings towards them" and I'm just like, yeah see that's normal. But then they take a hard left and say "am I actually DEMI?!" Like, Jesus Christ! You're normal! Lots of people don't feel sexual attraction ALL THE TIME. When I was single, I didn't even feel sexual attraction all the time, and I was totally boy crazy!

In my opinion, so-called asexuals and demisexuals are just otherwise normal people living in a hypersexual culture, where they're made to feel weird for not wanting to have sex with randos, or wear skimpy clothing, or make overtly sexual jokes. A society that calls you a prude or a goody-two-shoes for being modest!

Combine that with people having no spirituality anymore, they've replaced a higher calling with some new facet of "self discovery", which inevitably always ends with someone realizing they're pan or trans or demi or ace. This is why people just need to get off the computer, leave their bubbles and sit by a tree for a few hours.

Not everything you feel is an identity. Not everything you feel needs to be politicized. There are people whose lives are so empty, so hopelessly barren, they can't just...be. Just exist. They have to categorize every part of their personality.

Just look at when the average person introduces themself, for example: "Hi, I'm Bea. I'm bisexual aroflux heteroflexible, and my pronouns are she/her/them. I'm a practicing syncretic Scottish witch, with heavy leanings towards druidry and Irish reconstructionism, and am self trained in the Arthurian and Avalonian schools of magick. I am human, but I have faekin, elfkin, treekin, rainkin, and moonkin thoughts and feelings." Like, bitch, I don't need your whole life story, including your religion and favorite sex position. Okay?

Just exist. Be you. No tags. No labels. No boxes. No categories. HUMANS DO NOT FIT INTO NEAT CATEGORIES. We aren't movies or books or music. And hell, movies, books, and music don't fit into neat categories either. Neither do trees or animals or cloud types or vegetables or planets or fucking rocks. And, yet, all those things are able to be without the need for you to know their innermost thoughts and feelings.

Why isn't asexuality an identity? Basically, because humans think too much about inconsequential shit.

Hope this helps.

[alexjcrowley]

I agree, as you said in the hashtags, of course the aroace reading is not the point of the movie, which is why I still hadn't made a post about how I, as an aromantic person, I saw myself in The Banshees of Inisherin.

I didn't want to derail the discourse of this movie being a win for Irish cinema and touching on so many profoundly human themes. I confess, I was afraid that if I started rambling on what striked me about this movie as an aro it would felt like I was "reducing" it to a queer reading, which was not my point at all.

Not only I was pleasantly surprised that there weren't romantic relationship between the characters (I'll get to Dominic later), but also that having a romantic/sexual partner was never posed as a solution to the any of the characters' loneliness.

Nobody said to Pádraic he'd be less lonely if he found a wife, nobody told him something along the line of time for friends being over because now he is an adult, get married. Nobody belittled the pain of the loss of his friendship with Colm. Nobody suggested to fill that void with love or sex.

At the same time, also nobody suggested Colm find a wife and generally have children if he wanted to live in eternity (being remembered by his descendants).

Romantic love or sex cannot fix the characters' pain, and thank God, because if this movie told me "the only way you can escape existential dread is by finding a partner" I would have been very disappointed.

Romantic love or sexual attraction in The Banshees of Inisherin is just not there. There's a long for affection, for human connections, friendships, but romance and sex are simply nowhere to be found in Inisherin.

Nobody (from what I remember) tells Shioban she needs to find a husband, which is something that I would have expected, since she is an adult single woman in a small town. I thought the elders of Inisherin would reprimand her for not being married, you know, old people and small towns and traditions (I don't know, at least in my small town forgotten by God in the south of Italy it is like this). But instead no! That's not her story at all!

There's zero jokes about, I don't know, Colm and Pádraic arguing like an old married couple. Which wouldn't have been bad per se, but it's somehow liberating that no, you don't have to use a marriage/romantic love metaphor to explain their fighting because hey, friends fight too, and their fights can be harsh and heartbreaking too.

When Shioban goes away, other than the job offer from the library, Martin McDonagh could have easily added that she also goes away to be someone she was in love with, but didn't live Inisherin. It could have been an easy gamble on a certain share of the audience, you may think Shioban is bad for leaving Pádraic, but people will be more indulgent with her if she does it for love. Like she needed an additional reason to go away other than "simply" her dream. But this wasn't added, because it would have been an useless subplot, and Shioban doesn't need to justify her decision to leave Inisherin with something other than that she knows it is the right thing for her.

And this may seems obvious, because "Well, if it was useless, it's only logical they didn't add it", but I see so many movies in which romantic subplota are added for no reason other than There Must Be A Romantic Subplot (Or People Won't Watch It).

And now let's come to Dominic. Because, yes, he does have a romantic subplot, but it didn't annoy me. When he says "There goes that dream..." after Shioban turns him down, I personally thought he wasn't referring just to him and Shioban having a relationship. To me, the dream he lost was one of normal life, no more subjected to his father's abuse, finally with someone who loved him and whom he could love back. There goes the dream of a life different from the pain I've always known. He's saying goodbye to the hope of an existence worth living.

And even when he kills himself, I don't think he only does it because Shioban turned him down (I never loved characters who killed themselves for unrequited love), but because he also lost Pádraic's friendship, the only one who treated him decently, but now Pádraic is changed and is just like "the rest of them". His all alone, left to the abuse of his father and no sympathy from anyone. His arc and character is still not entirely based on romance or sex, even if he appears to have a crush on Shioban (I could talk a lot more about their relationship and Dominic in general, but I am already rambling).

Not only the absence of romantic and/or sexual relationships in the Banshees of Inisherin is refreshing, but for one of the first times in my life I see a product that can be read as aroace not because a character denied his interest in romantic/sexual relationships, but because romantic/sexual relationship are hardly brought up!

Which is great! In spite of a lot of people I hear saying "stories without sex/romance are boring" . No!!! Even if Dominic hadn't had a crush on Shioban the movie would have been great! And they're not the main characters anyway, the main characters are just. Friends.

I get if people want to ship them, I am not the shipping police, you do you, but for me it's a story about friendship, just friendship. And that's enough.

OP I am sorry about the ramble, it's not very well written either, but I was happy to talk with someone about this.

I really wish there was a canon of aroace cinema. Obviously there is close to none representation, but I’m thinking movies that resonate to the aro/ace experience regardless of intent. To create a canon must be hard, but I’m gonna give my two cents with Little Women (2019 dir. Greta Gerwig) and The Banshees of Inisherin (2023 dir. Martin McDonagh)

[blurglesmurfklaine]

What picture are people on Twitter getting mad at Darren for??

this is beneath the cut because it got really long (sorry) and there are also trigger warnings for mentions of police brutality.

I honestly couldn’t find it if I tried because I deleted Twitter a while ago, and wouldn’t know how to Google it, but it’s basically a picture of him pretending to having sex with one of his friends who looks like he may or may not be sleeping? I saw the picture once, and I honestly couldn't tell, but it looked like he could be awake??? and Twitter is losing its fucking mind calling him a “rapist” and shit like that and demanding he apologize for a picture he didn’t even post! (His friend posted it)

Is it his most tasteful picture? No, but from what I understand it’s like seven years old and also clearly a joke??

I have a lot of qualms with cancel culture (it’s the reason Jenna Marbles left YouTube so I’m mad about that lol) but the biggest thing is that on Twitter, it never seems to be about actually educating people for the better, or a real pursuit of social justice. It’s always this race to be the most visibly “holier than thou” “politically correct” (which, if you ask me, sometimes goes so far left they make a circle and come around back to the right. Looking at you, misogynists who want to police what content (queer) women can and cannot consume). Their political justice pursuits never seem to be based on actually caring. And if it is, it’s just for attention.

For example, Darren recently apologized for a tweet some (and I will also say, most of the people demanding the apology were not black.) thought was racist or racially insensitive. When he replied to one of the loudest voices on Twitter who called for an apology, the person running the account subsequently tweeted shit like “omg he knows I’m alive” and talked about being in their “Darren notice” era.

Something similar happened yesterday and days before, when Derek Chauvin was found guilty on all charges for the murder of George Floyd. (Which even then, people would say things like “I’m so glad he was convicted” and assholes would reply: “so you’re glad a black man died?”)

Darren tweeted: “✊🏼”

That’s it, that’s the fucking tweet. And then people started demanding he delete it, and the other half demanding he apologize for it and calling him a “white supremacist”. (Which pisses me off even more because... Despite the fact that. He’s not fucking entirely white?? BUT I DIGRESS!!!)

Apparently, a white fist in the air is a symbol of white supremacy, and people were tweeting shit like “I’m so disappointed in you” “how can you stan him after something like this?” “I’m so disgusted” blah blah fucking blah.

First off, if you don’t know enough about Darren to know that he’s not a fucking white supremacist? God I don’t even know how to finish that lmao.

Second, if your breaking point is a god damn emoji, you need to get the fuck off the internet. Whenever I use the fist in the air emoji to show my solidarity for the BLM movement, I don’t use a black fist. Because I’m not fucking black. I use this one: ✊🏽 because I’m mexican. I’m brown (okay so I’m a little less brown since quarantine but give me a day in the sun and the melanin will come back my dudes). Darren is not black, he’s tan, so he used a tan fist to show his solidarity and I think the reaction from glee Twitter was honestly gross and disgusting and awful because guess what: you are taking attention away from the fact that Derek Chauvin, the murderer of a black man, was convicted, AND that a black child was murdered by the police, to yell at a Filipino-Irish man that he’s a white supremacist.

(I beleive he deleted the tweet and then people were calling him a coward for not owning up to it. so he truly cannot win lmao)

That’s where the fucking picture comes in. I could be wrong, because I only get bits and pieces from a group chat I’m in and I’m not actually on the site anymore, but after the emoji tweet is when the picture was dug up. A years old picture that he didn’t even post, just to incite more hate and pretentiousness and senseless polarization???

If you're so "dissapointed" and "disgusted" in him, then fucking leave. Go. Don't stan someone whose morals you so vocally don't agree with. You no NOT have to be a fan of someone who supposedly causes you so much distress.

I also never thought of it before a friend I met this summer pointed it out, but why do we act like celebrities have to be held to a higher moral standard than everyone else? Why are they not allowed to make mistakes, and learn and grow like the rest of us? Because they act or sing??? Lord knows I was ignorant as fuck in 2011 and it fucking SHOWS in my old posts and shit. The only difference is that I didn't have thousands of people watching my every move.

Like fuck. No wonder he never goes on social media anymore. I wouldn't either. i can't imagine how fucking overwhelming and anxiety inducing that is. Let him fucking breathe.

It’s stupid. It’s all stupid. I actually felt like I was having my brain fried on that app. No thank you, I’ll leave it to slow cook like a roast in crock pot here on tumblr thank you very much.

TL;DR: Twitter is up in arms about an old picture of Darren pretending to have sex with his friend and I don’t trust anything Twitter says anymore because everything on there is for clout.

[angelhummel]

what would you do with the characters you don't like if you had power over glee? would you completely get rid of them, replace them or rewrite them to be something different?

I mean the mean part of me wants to say I would just scrap Brittany completely bc she didn't amount to anything in the end asjdfhlfsk BUT if I'm trying to be creative then no, that's too easy. With Brittany, there are two ways I could play it

1) She actually is quite clever but puts on the typical ditzy cheerleader act for funsies. To make sure Quinn knows she isn't a blonde rival threat lol. To mess with guys who think they can take advantage of her. Mostly for her own amusement, to see the looks on people's faces whenever she says something "dumb". But she drops the act midway thru s2 (when they quit the cheerios) and we get to see her for who she really is. Sharp and blunt at the same time, with a sardonic and dry wit that sometimes goes over people's heads. But she's dropped the dumbass act to be a lil smart ass

"How do you know my dim-witted inexperience isn't merely a subtle form of manipulation used to lower people's expectations thereby enhancing my ability to effectively maneuver within any given situation?"

2) She is kind of a ditz but she actually has the emotional intelligence that people claim she has. But the good "Go back in there and be there for Kurt", "family is a place where everyone loves you no matter what" kind, not the "you have to actually eat the chocolate bar or it will melt and look like you have poop in your hand". Basically Brittany talking about poop or toilets or anything in that same vein is strictly forbidden. She's not great in school, makes C's and D's in her main classes. But has creative electives like art, photography, creative writing, etc and does amazingly in those classes. She has her own unique way of looking at things and offers her own unique wisdom to help put things in perspective from time to time

Either way, she is never a complete fucking bonehead turned math genius bc that is fucking awful. And maybe you could even add in the actual autism angle bc like. Doesn't understand social cues, takes things too literally, etc. And either way she would graduate in s3 and get out of my face. So that's what I'd do with Brittany

Finn is easier but also harder bc this is such a gargantuan task and deviation from canon but. Have him actually be more like the person we're told he is. You TELL me he is this amazing uniter of cliques, kind hearted, perfect blend of a jock and show choir god, ushering the school into a new age of togetherness. You SHOW me he is a lil bitch who runs away from the club at the slightest difficulty, drops slurs and outs people on the reg, wants to be the leader without putting in the work, and is kind of a ball hog who actually sucks at football and isn't that great a singer. What's not clicking

Obviously Finn doesn't have to be perfect. He can have issues and uncertainties. But holy shit maybe have one issue once or twice. Doing this same bullshit half a dozen times and never learning a lesson makes me hate him!!!! Idk man just make him less of a fucking asshole

And don't fucking act like he ascended to sainthood when he died. I'm sorry but that bullshit about like "Finn wanted Sam in the club bc he was looking for someone to take over his legacy when he was gone" like shut the fuck up that actually sounds insane. Don't fucking do that. Finn is just a dude. Just make him be a kind of chill and cool dude with his heart in the right place but he slips up and makes mistakes bc he's still human. He doesn't use slurs or out anyone. He isn't constantly beating people up. He doesn't attack a sex worker, thanks. Maybe don't make him a serial cheater either, that would be nice

As for Sebastian, yeah, no, you can scrap him completely. He isn't interesting or fun and it actually drives me insane that he's the fifth most popular character on ao3. You can have your own preferences, you can like a little rich bitch bratty bad boy villain wannabe. But knowing that that many people are so far up his butt makes me wanna scream lol

Shelby, I would change her plotline by having her end up in jail. That would be a nice arc for her character

Will, I would change him by having him be a decent teacher. Broke: himbo Finn. Woke: himbo Will. He's kind and tries his best but he is shockingly dumb. Doesn't realize his wife isn't really pregnant for like five months?? The pieces are there. He sometimes lets himself be bulldozed in his own classroom but when other students talk, he listens. Takes their suggestions, actually shines a light on everyone, helps them improve and lets everyone have their moment in the spotlight. In the end everyone loves him and when he wins teacher of the year, it doesn't feel like a hollow bullshit contrivance

Sue. Either make her drop the villain shtick by about s3, or get rid of her entirely. Talk about going around in circles. I really think she was the worst of it. It got sooo old and boring and it was the same thing for six seasons. So have her be an ally to the club come s3, after her sister's funeral bc that makes sense. Or just write her off. Idc how

Don't ever let Rory set fucking foot on this show. Sorry to the actor but that character was partially responsible for why s3 went down the fucking shitter. He was terrible, and having to write plots about being Irish made early s3 a fucking joke

Oh and I would magically make it so that the viewers of the show have some common fucking sense. And if a character is being racist or a bigot or just a general cunt, there wouldn't be 2395890 compilation videos on youtube praising them for being brutally honest or sassy or hilarious or what have you. :) You know, if I had THAT kind of power

So yeah those are my thoughts. Took me a while to answer but I appreciate the ask!

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

NEVERMORE?

Prompt: Requested, by the adorable @pod95 Thank you so much for your request, babe. I hope you’ll like it 😉😘

Word count: Long-ish

Pairings: Finn Bálor x Reader

Warnings: +18, smut, dom x sub dynamic, one night stand, rough sex, oral sex (female and male receiving), spanking, tricophilia (hair kink - pulling) breath play/ asphyxiation kink (chocking), cursing and fluff.

Tag: @theworldofotps , @new-zealand-chic , @yungbludjazz360

Notes: Lord, forgive me, my dirty mind and the sin I’m about to commit! This is pure filth people, pure filth! Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) You can check them out on my Masterlist. Okay,now let’s get to the fun part, shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

“Y/N, I’m gonna look for Tim in the men’s locker room ok? I’ll be right back” Leon, my brother, said

“Fine, I’ll wait here” I smiled at him, sitting down in one of the audience benches

A few minutes passed and I heard someone ask me

“Are you looking for someone?” A handsome Irish guy asked

“Nope, I’m waiting for my brother”

“Is he one of the wrestlers?” He asked

I smirked “No, but he dates one”

“Oh, I see” He grinned “Would you like me to call one of them for you?”

“Nah, it’s ok. I don’t mind waiting. They haven’t seen each other in a very long time plus, I don’t have anything better to do” I shrugged

“Mind if I sit down with you?”

“No, go ahead and pick your seat” I joke and he sat right by my side

“I’m Finn” He offered me his hand

“Y/N”

We shook hands and he said

“Beautiful name for a beautiful lass”

“I’ve never heard that one before” I mocked, making him laugh

“So, what are you gonna do later?” Finn asked and I sensed his intention

“Look, Finn” I look into his blue eyes “My brother is the one who’s into wrestlers, not me”

“And I’m not into your brother, I’m into you” He sincerely said

His words were so honest that caught me off guard and made me laugh

“You’re funny” I smiled

“You’re gorgeous“ He chews on his gum with a boyish smile on his face

“How come you’re so confident?” I asked amused

Finn shrugged “I’m a Leo, it comes naturally” He winked and I laugh

“Y/N!” My brother screamed, coming to me with Tim by his side

“Hi, Y/N” Tim greeted, hugging me tightly

“How are you, Timmy?”

“Better now” He looked at Leon with pure love in his eyes

“Finn, you wanna come?” Tim asked

“Yeah, sure”

“Where are you guys going anyways?” I ask them

“We’re going to that sushi place, you’re coming, right?” Tim asked me

“Honestly? No” I sighed

“Why?” Leon, Tim and Finn asked at the same time

“You know I’m not a sushi lover, ok? So I’ll pass! But, please, feel free to eat my part of the sushi boat” I smile fondly

“Where are you going then?” Leon asked worriedly

“To the hotel, I’ll order some room service”

“I thought we were supposed to enjoy the city together” Leon reminded me

“And we will, tomorrow!” I got up from the bench kissing Leon and Tim on the cheek “Also, you don’t need a third wheel tonight! Enjoy your night together, lovebirds” I winked at them

“Nice to meet you, Finn” I said

“And you” I look at Tim as I was grabbing my backpack “Take care of my little brother or I’ll kick your ass!”

Tim laughed “Got it, boss”

“I’m coming with you” Finn stood up

“You’re declining sushi?” Tim asked in shock

“Changed my mind. Room service sounded very tempting all of a sudden” He smirked, looking at me

*Does he never give up?* I thought

......................................................................

Finn and I walked from the arena to the hotel. He’s surprisingly a very nice and funny guy. We talked about different subjects and I grew fondly of him in that short 40 minutes walk.

“Do you wanna watch a movie or something?” He asked

“Of course. Just let me take a shower and change clothes and I’ll meet you in your room, is that ok?”

“Sure, love. I’m in room 433”

After 40 minutes I knocked on his door. I went for a safe choice of black leggings and a crop top. I didn’t wanted to look like I’m trying to impress him but didn’t wanted to show up too sloppy either.

“Hey” Finn smiled softly, wearing now a pair of grey joggings and a black t-shirt, with his hair still wet from his shower.

“Come on in” Finn intertwine our fingers, pulling me towards the couch

“Would you like something to drink?”

“No, thank you”

“What do you want for dinner?” He smiled, grabbing the hotel menu.

Finn decided for a fusilli with pesto and grilled chicken and I went for a zucchini spaghetti. He ordered a wine bottle to go with our dinner (which he insisted in paying for).

We talked and ate, sitting on the couch, looking at each other. Sharing stories and laughs, forgetting all about the movie.

“Did you liked living in Japan?” I asked, sipping from my wine glass

“I loved actually, it was one of the best times of my life”

“Then why did you leave there to wrestle in America?”

“It was a new opportunity with a great company. Wrestling is my life so I had to take it, you know?”

“Yeah” I smiled at him

Finn took the wine glass out of my hand and placed on top of the coffee table, next to his.

“I like to try new things, Y/N” He leans forward, until his lips are centimeters away from mine “I like to have new experiences” His hand rested on the side of my neck, while his thumb caress my cheek

“So I’m gonna be straight forward with you. You’re a very beautiful woman, I feel very attracted to you and I would love to spend the night together and have some fun” He whispered

“Oh, you’re mean” I chuckled

“No, I’m not” He smirked “I’m honest! So tell me, do you want to spend the night with me?”

“Yes” I murmur

Finn’s lips touched mine, softly at first, until we got used to each other but then the air changed.

His kiss became more vigorous, rough and hard. Finn’s hands gripped my neck lightly

“I like things a little rough, Y/N. So, if at anytime you feel like it’s too much, you let me know, ok?”

“I doubt that it will be too much” I smirked “Never found a man who could give me as hard as I like it” I chuckled

“Is that a challenge, love?” He grinned, walking us towards the bed

“Are you up for it, sir?” I batted my lashes

“Oh, you’re gonna regret that” Finn closed his grip on my neck

“Give me your worst” I smile in pleasure once I feel the pressure upon my neck increasing.

Finn shoved me down to the bed, quickly yanking off my crop top and sports bra and ripping my leggings at the crotch. Smirking when he saw no underwear.

“Oh, you came halfway ready didn’t you, love?” Finn chuckled, spitting on his fingers and spreading it through my folds until he stopped at my clit.

“Play with your tits” Finn commands

I obey him, massaging my breasts softly. Pinching my nipples until they are hard for him.

Finn lightly slapped one of my hands away, capturing the free nipple into his mouth, flicking his tongue on it.

The pressure he was putting on my clit was dreamy.

I moan softly at the sweet torture he’s causing me

“Your moans are so fucking hot” Finn says, scratching his teeth on my nipple and quickly attacking the other one.

He dive down, into my core. The minute he started to lick me, I’m in heaven! The guy is THAT good.

“Oh fuck” I moaned “Why are you so good at this?”

Finn looks up to meet my gaze and slowly smiles, still licking my folds tortuously.

“You’re so wet for me” He whispered, licking a long stripe from my entrance to my clit. Where he locked his lips and began to suck on it.

I tried to close my legs in order to get some relief, but Finn held them down on the mattress, open for him.

I never came from just pussy eating without any fingering, but I felt like I could come at any minute now.

“I want you to come on my face” Finn said

“I can’t, I need something in” I shuddered

“No, you don’t, silly” He smiled deviously and sucked my clit even harder

“Come.On.My.Face.Right.Now” He commanded with a hard slap on my ass between every word

And I did. Grabbing the sheets forcefully into my fists I borderline screamed his name in pleasure.

The contractions of my orgasm were so hard that I had my own release dripping down my lips.

Before it could reach the mattress, Finn eagerly licked.

“So good” He coos

“Please, can I suck your dick?” I beg

“That desperate, huh?” Finn cackled

“Yes, I am, sir” I place myself in all fours on the bed and nuzzle my face on his clothed erection.

“Please, sir. I really need it” I pleaded

Finn’s eyes grew dark in pleasure “Take him out” He smirked

And I just understood why, when I free him from his pants.

He was THICK and LONG, but that just made me grew even more eager to have him in me.

“I can’t wait to have you in me” I giggled

“Yeah? Do you think you can handle it, love?” He laughed at my excitement

“Not only I CAN handle it but will enjoy every second of it” I smirk at him and while looking up at him, I shoved him down my throat.

I made sure to relax my throat as much as I could and keep a lot of saliva to make it easier for the both of us.

“You sure know what you’re doing, love. So sloppy...it’s fucking beautiful!” Finn moaned “Feels so fucking good”

I can feel him twitching on my throat, that’s when he pulls off

“That’s enough. I don’t want to come on your mouth”

Finn quickly got rid of his clothes. When I began to take off my crotch ripped leggings Finn said

“Leave them on! I want to fuck you like that. Turn around”

When I lay down on my stomach Finn’s hands ripped my leggings more so he can have a full vision of my ass

“So fucking hot” He slapped my ass cheeks

I look over my shoulder to Finn and found him touching himself while looking at me.

Finn smirked, reaching for the bedside table, he pulled out a condom.

Rolling down his length, he positioned himself behind me

“Let me know if it’s too much, is color system ok for you?”

“Sure. Green: go, yellow: slow down and red: stop”

“Good” He smiles “Let’s ser if you really can take it like you said earlier” Finn teased making me laugh

He slowly pushed in, letting me get used to his size bit by bit. He felt even bigger than he looked.

Once he’s buried inside of me, Finn and I both moaned loudly

“Shit... I’ve never fucked someone as tight as you. Jesus fuck!”

“You’re so thick is heavenly” I panted

Finn began to move slowly at first. Stretching my walls for him, until we’re both used to how each other felt.

Then the fun started. His thrusts became harder and faster, making me curl my toes in pleasure.

“Choke me, sir. Please”

Finn’s hands locked around my neck pulling me back to meet him until my back is arched painfully so Finn can kiss me vigorously.

“You’re such a good little whore” Finn grabbed a fistful of my hair, pulling me back even more, until I was holding my weight up on my arms.

Finn fucked me even harder and I couldn’t help but moan.

“You didn’t lied, you really can take it! Can’t you?” He bites my neck

“Yes, sir. Every fucking inch” I giggled

“I can see that, lass. Such a cock whore. I love that!” He laughed amused

I could already feel the familiar burning on my lower abdomen

“Sir, please. I need to-“ I stopped my sentence when his pace grew even faster

“Come, love. Come on my cock, I wanna feel you” Finn whispered on my ear

A chocked moan left my lips as I came around him

“Oh fuck, you’re squeezing my cock so good I can barely move” Finn mumbled

His hands reached my clit and he circled the little nub, prolonging my own orgasm as he came with a growl.

We stood still for a minute to catch our breaths.

Finn went to the bathroom and started to fill up the tub.

*That’s my cue to go, I guess* I thought and begin to get dressed. Finn walked out of the bathroom and frowned

“What are you doing?”

“Leaving. Thanks for the dinner and the fun” I tried to hide my disappointment

“And who said you‘re supposed to leave?”

“What? I thought-“

“Thought wrong, love” He smiled, pulling my crop top off my body

“C’mon” Finn offers me his hand “Let’s go take a bath then we can order some more room service and make out on the couch” He winked

And Finn was faithful to his word. We took a long bath together, talking and laughing. Then he ordered us some room service, my all time favorite: cheeseburgers.

“I thought you didn’t eat junk food” I said mesmerized when my eyes meet the burgers

“I do sometimes!” He defended himself making me look at him in disbelief

“What?” He asked and I raised one eyebrow at him

“Fine! I eat it once every 2 years, ok?”

“Once every 2 years?” I gasp “Damn dude! You’re surreal” I stare at him in shock

Finn bites my cheek lightly “Don’t you think I deserve a treat after the night we just had? You drained me, woman!” He chuckled making me blush in embarrassment

“Stop” I slapped his shoulder lightly

“Awww you’re blushing” Finn laughed softly “You’re so damn cute” He gave me a smooch and said “Let’s go, love. Or the burgers will get cold”

The night ended with more talking and make out sessions on the couch

“I want you to sleep here with me” Finn whispered

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure!” He smiled

When sleep finally took over us, Finn dragged us to the bed. We spooned and Finn pulled me as close as he physically could. Sweetly kissing the top of my head we both fell asleep within minutes.

......................................................................

Something moving around the bed was disturbing me from my sleep

“Y/N, wake up” His deep voice called

“Love, c’mon wake up!” Finn giggled while I groan in protest.

“Will you wake up if I say I got you breakfast?”

“Food? Where?” I mumbled, quickly sitting up on the bed and making Finn laugh hard

The breakfast tray was on top of the bed, with juice, coffee, scrambled eggs, fruit salad, toast and chocolate chips pancakes.

“I didn’t knew what you were in the mood for, so I got a little bit of everything” Finn smiled, slightly embarrassed

“This is perfect, thank you! But you didn’t had to, you know”

Finn rolled his eyes “That’s nonsense! Choose whatever you want to eat so we can go before we run late”

“Go? Where?” I ask confused

“Aren’t we going to explore the city with your brother and Tim?” He asked, chewing on a piece of pineapple

“You’re coming along with us?”

“Yeah...unless you don’t want me to” He whispered softly

“Of course I want you to come along” I smile widely and he smiled back

“So go on, eat your breakfast so we can go to your room and get you some clothes” Finn winked

And I thought to myself *How the hell am I supposed to be with this man for just one night?*....

Please, if you’re comfortable with it, let me know your thoughts on this? Feedbacks are always appreciated 🥰😘

[st-clements-steps]

20 Questions: Writer’s Edition

Thanks @salty-wench for the tag

How many works do you have on AO3?

15

What’s your total AO3 word count?

57270 (I am in no way looking at that number and thinking I should add 5 words to a fic)

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

1 (2 if you count there is a book series and a show and they are more in conflict than in sync) (asoiaf/GoT)

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Set Piece

Greedy

honeymoon

don't worry, it's my blood

The Night Washerwoman

(I deny there is anything obvious and overarching that explains the kudos on these fics, j*cough*sa)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

yes (I love comments, I have deleted 1 comment, but actually I wish I'd just kept it and responded in some ways ... I can entirely justify heather in the far north, it had nothing to do with a weird kink I've been developing since my early teens, nothing)

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Sea

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I'm tempted to put Sea again, I write a lot of one shots that are quite open ended. Set Piece is incredibly fluffy and has no real arc, so maybe that. [edit - I've just realised this has a happy ending; Sansa kills Euron, Margaery has a baby, people say they'd marry redheads]

Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?

I'm writing a High Fidelity Greysnow, but I'm not sure it's a crossover, more like I stole a plot cos I don't do plots.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not hate exactly (maybe trolling?)

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes. What kind? err, I've never written a single sex threesome (or F/F/M) or more than 3 people.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I am aware.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

Have you ever co-written a fic?

No, (I love beta-reading though and talking about stories with people, so maybe 1 day 🤷‍♀️)

What’s your all time favourite ship?

There's no joy like Snowjoy (everyone I know calls it Greysnow, which kills this joke).

What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

So many; a ship-less Matriarchal North; the whole of asoiaf reframed as the Trojan War and the aftermath, Theon is Odysseus, Jon is Agamemnon, Robb is Menelaus (yeah maybe it should be other way round?); an eighteenth century Theonsa where all the major castles are slave plantations, Theon's ptsd is from working on slave ships (Ramsay was his captain), and various characters are the children of slaves of African origin (Jon, Dany, Gendry). So yeah, all the crazily ambitious ones basically.

What’s your writing strengths?

I like writing descriptive, lyrical, florid stuff. And dialogue happens without me actually making it happen, characters just start saying stuff whilst I'm driving or washing up.

What’s your writing weaknesses?

Plot, I hate plot. Also I think sometimes I'm too obscure and my language is too twisty.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I have a WIP set in Faerie where Jon speaks Scottish Gaelic and Theon speaks Irish Gaelic (a tiny bit). I am not nearly good enough at either of them to have done this. But actually what killed it was not the Gaelic but the fact its set over 500 years so I wanted their English to shift from renaissance era English to modern and that messed with my head more than the Gaelic.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones (or put on t'internet for folks to read, anyway, I mean technically probably The Midnight is a Place self-insert I wrote at 9.)

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Sea, it has a plot, it has lyrical language, it reflects on canon, very few people have read it.

I don't have to tag anyone, ha, it doesn't say to. If you want to (sorry for bugging you) @selkiewife @cool-like-a-caterpillar @capraiaso @owlsinathens

[publickoccurances]

Headcanon: Companions on a night out with Sole at The Third Rail (romanced and just friends).

Cait: Cait spends the night doing shot after shot, between each she’ll have a pint of whatever is on tap. Usually some musky beer that is no ones business to be drinking. But it’s cheap and gets you pissed so why the hell not! She acts as Sole’s wingman, trying to get her buddy laid any opportunity she gets. Hell she might even get herself some action. Though that opportunity goes straight out the window as she’s being escorted out by Ham and ten guys from the Neighbourhood Watch. All because she broke some guys hand after he grabbed her arse? Sole tries to sweet talk Ham into letting Cait back in but when that fails ‘Fuck it! Screw ya shitty boozer! Come on Sole, I know a party we can crash!’ And of course, this so called party will be in fact crashing into some random persons hotel room and inviting the rest of the guests in for a drink/drug fuelled night.

Cait (romanced): Now Cait sometimes misses the single life when her and Sole find their way inside The Third Rail of an evening. But all it takes is a few drinks and to find herself staring at that perky arse of theirs and she’s game for the night. She’ll spend the night having a good few drinks, laughing as Sole tries to keep up with her. She had always warned them that you should never try and keep up with an Irish. It never works. But she always stops them before they take it too far. Because how are they gonna have their fun in the alley at the end of the night if Sole can’t even stand up?

Codsworth: Ah yes, The Third Rail. Not Codsworth’s place of choice. Yes he’d much prefer they spend the evening at somewhere with... well somewhere a little bit cleaner perhaps? But Sir/Mum wish to spend the evening socialising in this... quaint?... bar. Then Codsworth would certainly try his best to be positive! Though, the comments from Whitechapel Charlie were not helping. Somehow being called as soft as buttered scone does somewhat dampen ones spirits.

Curie (for the sake of it Synths can get drunk): Curie was always up for experiencing different human social interactions. A very popular one seemed to be going to an establishment and consuming a beverage which was actually poison to the human body? So she shall try! It doesn’t take many drinks for the buzz of the alcohol to go to her head. And before anyone knew it she was prancing around the place befriending the many drifters that were dotted about. Even offering some free medical advise if she liked them well enough! Of course Sole had to keep a close eye on her. They would feel extremely guilty if anything were to happen to Curie while drunk. Though in the moment Curie didn’t quite understand why her friend was trying to stop her from dancing on top of the table?

Curie (romanced): It was a different story when Curie had her loved one to keep an eye on while in this rowdy establishment. She would stick to non-alcoholic beverages for the evening. She just wanted to make sure Sole was safe and well. Though it did make her giggle at how affectionate Sole would get after a few drinks. She couldn’t complain about the gentle kisses pressed to her cheek, nor the sweet nothings whispered in her ear. No, she was quite smitten on her tipsy lover. But no sex while under the influence of alcohol, she would stick to her guns with that. She was far too responsible.

Danse: The Paladin was not one for letting himself loosen up. Not even for an evening. So when his good friend drags him into The Third Rail he is none to impressed with the state of the place, nor the people in it. He sticks strictly to water for the evening. Keeps interaction with the patrons to a minimum. Though he can’t help but be ever so slightly mesmerised by Magnolia as she sings her set for the night. Now she was quality entertainment. And easy on the eyes. But despite the encouragement from Sole, he would stick to his seat and not approach her. But the thought would cross his mind more than once.

Danse (romanced): It would take many days of Sole pestering him before Danse would agree to a night out in The Third Rail. When there he is extremely defensive of Sole, shooting a look that could kill at any patron he thinks may be showing any kind of interest in his lover. Half way through the night it would become too hard for him to hide his jealously anymore. So he would take Sole firmly by the hand and march them back to wherever it is they have decided to spend the night. And Sole of course knew this was exactly how the night would end, that’s why they made a point of being a bit flirtatious with strangers. They loved how it would wind up Danse, and how it would result in their cheek pressed firmly against the mattress more than a few times for the remainder of the night.

Deacon: Deacon was no stranger to The Third Rail. Oh yes. He’d spent many a good night in this place. It was definitely a good thing that a few of the regular patrons were no longer able to recognise him. Though it didn’t stop him from trying to seduce them all over again. What? It was in his nature! Part of who he was! Or that’s what he was trying to tell the disgruntled ex-lover who actually did see past his disguise this time. He walks back over to Sole, stupid grin on his lips despite the fact he’d just been splashed with a glass of vodka. “Yeah. Maybe we should head somewhere with fewer people that have seen little Deacon.” He’d joke. However, maybe it would be best if they hit another joint for the night.

Deacon (romanced): Oh a night with Deacon would end up a blur. The amount of times he would suggest body shots was terrible. But the amount of times Sole agreed to do them was even worse. Eventually Ham would have to kick the two of them out for essentially being naked in the middle of the bar. Not that it bothered Deacon, because he swiped a bottle of whiskey on the way out and he intended on them drinking it, even if they did end up on the curb for the night.

Hancock: Of course the Mayor of Goodneighbour would know The Third Rail well. He and Whitechapel Charlie were good ‘mates’ at this point. Which meant free drinks for Hancock. Which meant free drinks for everyone because he was the mayor of this damn town! Fuelled by a mixture of drinks and chems Hancock would keep the party going until the sun rises. And by the time the sun did rise, he was far too gone to realise and so the party would carry on right into the next evening. It wouldn’t be until he finally passed out of exhaustion that the party would end. And god damm, where the hell did he leave his hat???

Hancock (romanced): Goodneigbour was his town. So as far as he was concerned, The Third Rail was Hancock’s fine establishment. And that meant it was Soles fine establishment. So when he ordered everyone to leave so he and Sole could have the dance floor to themselves for Magnolias set, that meant everybody would leave. And the couple would spend the night being surprisingly tender, dancing slowly to the music.

Macready: Macready had spent so much time in this damn bar he was over it. Every night out he had there Sole would be pulling him off some cocky Gunner who had come in running their mouth. Whitechapel Charlie wasn’t exactly a fan of the Gunners himself, so he never called Ham down to break up the fights. In fact he would sneak Macready a free drink for the entertainment. To which Macready would tilt his hat and let out an accomplished sign. Ah yes, what a life.

Macready (romanced): Macready is a bit more easy going when out drinking with his lover. Though sometimes when he looks at Sole (usually after a few glasses of whiskey) he’ll tear up ever so slightly. Though he would never say it, it’s because Sole has the same eyes as Lucy. Kind eyes. Eyes filled with hope. And damn did it make him emotional. But this moment of weakness never lasted long, he’d usually excuse himself for a cigarette when it gets too intense.

Nick (again for the sake of it Synths can get drunk): It had been a long time since Nick had allowed himself to have some fun. Work as a private eye was demanding. And god did he know it. He was still as mysterious as ever when he had a scotch in his hand. Swirling the liquid around the glass ever so slightly as his eyes scanned the room, hat tilted. Life was good right now, quiet. He liked it when things were quiet.

Nick (romanced): Now Ol’ Nicky wasn’t one for public displays of affection usually. But when the clock struck midnight and there were a few glasses of scotch in the system, how could he not admire his lover? Nick was smooth in the way he spoke to Sole, poetic almost. He liked to keep up his mysterious detective bravado even with his love. Though Sole saw straight through it. And when Sole stole his fedora at the end of the night, Nick just lets them. Hell, that’s love right there surely?

Piper: Piper loved The Third Rail. It was the easiest place to get people to talk for the paper. A few drinks made everyone loose lipped. Including herself. It took three or four vodkas mixed with Nuka Cola for Piper to be stumbling over her words as she tried to compliment Magnolia. God damn it, why couldn’t she just ask her if she wanted a drink?? Every single time she came in here she tried, and every single time she bottled it at the last minute. But all the embarrassment was forgotten when she’d look over and see her best buddy Blue challenging a local to a drinking competition. Well she had to watch this. ‘I’m gonna put twenty caps on the other guy!’ She’d shout as she walked over. ‘Sorry Blue... but look at the size of him. I reckon he can handle his liquor better than you’.

Piper (romanced): Piper really was one for letting herself go all out when on a night out with her Blue. She knew she didn’t have to worry. Blue would keep her safe, and she’d make sure they were safe. And god she just loved the way they looked as they danced to the music playing. Damn it they just looked so good in that dumb vault suit. She’d of course join her lover in the dancing. And drunken dancing always resulted in drunken kissing, which always resulted in drunken touching, which always resulted in them stumbling back into their hotel room for the night. She loved the way her back would hit the mattress as Blue would kiss all over her. It was the best way to end the night for sure.

Preston: Preston was more of a sophisticated drinker. Being a Minuteman was a 24/7 job. Despite whether he wanted to or not, he knew very well that he couldn’t get wasted every time Sole convinced him to accompany them at The Third Rail. He’d always limit himself to a glass of wine, keeping an eye on his friend. Preston would always make sure to wonder up the stairs every half hour and check in with Ham to make sure no flares had been set off in close proximity. To which Ham would always reply ‘we’re in Goodneighbour pal, you really think these folks are gonna be asking for help from you lot?’

Preston (romanced): God damn a drunken Sole would stress Preston out. He found himself repeating ‘drink water for the love of all that is holy’ at least five times an hour. But despite how fed he sounded, he actually quite enjoyed looking after his drunken lover. After all, it made him feel rather manly when he’d have to carry Sole to bed at the end of the night. And he always knew he could have his fun when the hangover would hit Sole the next morning, he thoroughly enjoyed teasing his hungover lover.