#i thought there was something missing in the sketches i posted yesterday

[flammelikeshookdust]

Okay, no more toxic yuri. I want them to be good to each other now.

[kanmom51]

JM ‘FACE’ Music Show Promotions Sketch 

cr./to the creators of the media used in this post.

So yeah, yesterday just 4 days before JK's single Seven is about to land, after JK's concept photos and clip were released showing us a clear bias and after the BTS book pages about Jikook's Tokyo trip surfaced, surprisingly (or not so much) this BTB was released.

Cannot help but wonder if this was a scheduled release or one of those pieces of content they had waiting in the vault to release at some point, not necessarily yesterday.

Not that I am complaining that we get more JM content, not at all, it's just the timing that feels a little sus to me is all. You know, with the heavy on Yoonmin and little Jihope we got there.

And again, let me make myself clear here. I'm not complaining us getting the content. Both members did visit JM on set to support him and it's great to see this in the content. It's the timing, the editing and on top of that, what we didn't get in past BTB that has me a little on edge.

So, Suga, as we know, came to visit JM on set.

To support him on his first show.

But this.

What did Yoongi mean by this?

"And to build up a good reputation of us".

It's not about JM's performance, it comes straight after he says the reason he came was it was JM's first performance. This is another reason he came - build up good reputation...?

To show they are supporting each other?

Was this said seriously or jokingly?

I'm still not understanding it.

I do have thoughts as to what he meant by it, and I wouldn't put it by him to mean that too, but still hoping it's not that.

Someone else also knows that, I can assure you. Same someone that found his way, with or without the company's approval (let's be honest here, it's without their approval and his way of kicking back) of supporting and promoting JM as publicly and as loudly as he could.

Same person that made a point to comment and let us know on JM's live after his last performance that he did want to come and see JM while recording.

And then we have this:

Yes, this is me bitching. I decided to get all of the shit out of the way before I get to the positive.

"Suga who knows Jimin better than anyone when it comes to performing"? Really? Pushing the Yoonmin a little much aren't we?

He knows him better than Hobi when it comes to performing?

Actual dance leader.

He knows him better than JK when it comes to performing?

The man that literally said this:

But seriously, this is the person that spent hours on end practicing with JM. The person that seeks him out on stage. The person that knows his every move, knows when he's in pain, knows when he is struggling.

Yeah, no matter which what way you spin it, Yoongi is not the one "who knows Jimin better than anyone when it comes to performing".

Wait, be patient with me. I have one more little thing I have to vent about before moving on.

This:

I can only imagine the talk down his bf gave him at home after this. "We're all grown ups, what are you doing?..."

Just like here:

Start at 0:49 seconds. JK talking about JM's live, not listening to Unholy.

I'm with you on this JK.

The need to apologize or pre-warn fans about a little touchy choreography with a woman, god forbid (oh, and btw, in the Korean side of this choreo the men were not touching JM, cause that's way worse, right?).

This is something I would love JM to get over, grow out of, but to tell you the truth, not holding my breath.

Ok, now that all my complaining is done with, let's move on to the fun part.

Now is the time to appreciate the 2 hyungs who came to support him. Yoongi for his first recording and Hobi for the last show.

Hobi's letter. That man is the sweetest man ever. I love him so much and miss him terribly. Can't even imagine how much JM and JK are missing him (I'm gonna add Tae here too, their bond is really underestimated).

And JM's reaction to it all. Priceless. Man cannot allow himself to get emotional on camera. The level of deflecting going on, lol.

We don't see too much of the work process but it's clear that JM pushes himself, most likely too hard (time to mention once again the time restraints that had him over exerting himself). And by the end of it you can see that his chronic pain is playing up, with the visible taping on his arm and shoulder.

I actually think it was way worse. He was REALLY suffering.

Do you notice what he's doing there with his left arm?

😭😭

The level of dedication and work ethic...

Man is absolutely stunning.

And an angel to top it off.

I truly love this young man.

Whoever gets to be with him has won the lottery.

Oh wait, we already have a lottery winner.

[otherone12]

I Can Help You With That...

Gerard way x Reader

->Masterlist

A/N: Hey!! Sooo i was bored and wanted to "practice" my english. I've never posted something like this and i wrote this instead of sleep... Let me know if you like it (:

- Word count : 1.195

Summary - You are his daughter best friend since ever, and always go to their house. One day, Gerard finds out that you are a comic writter, but you are also in some kind of art block. He says that he could help you if you wanted to and, well... this end up a bit different than you both expected.

- Warnings: NOT SMUT, Big age gap

- Ps: You and his doughter (i will not use her name 'cause i think it's weird) are 20 years old or something, and he's 47 (current era?).

- Ps2: I'll not use y/n...

- Ps3: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language ... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

___________________________________________

3rd Person POV

   You were walking down the street to your best friend's house. You knock on the door and she comes with a usually smile on her face.

   - Hey! I missed you! - She said as she opened the door.

   - But we saw each other yesterday! - You laugh, hugging her and entering the Way's house.

   The place was absolutely pretty, you feel like you're never gonna get used to that. You've been going there every week since you were 12, but always get impressed with all that stuff.

   She led you to her room and there you two watched a movie and talked about how much better it would be if you were the directors, actors or whatever.

   When the movie ends, you two went down stairs to the kitchen to take something to eat. You saw a familiar face, long brown hair, the cutest nose ever and, of course, THOSE hazel eyes. Gerard was there. You would never admit it to anyone, but you find him really attractive.

   No. You can't think about your best friend's dad like that.

   He looked up the newspaper he was reading and smiled at you. You smile back as he picks a mug with coffee and takes a sip.

***

   - I didn't ask you about your comic! How is it going? - Your friend gives you a cup of coffe while you two are sitting at the table with Gerard.

   In the moment your bestie asked, Gerard looked at you surprised and curious.

   - I dunno... i'm in a fucking art block since the last time i show you the sketches. - you took a sip of your coffee and continued - I mean, i know all the story, but i can't find the way to put this together.

   - I can help you with that... if you want me to - He looks really excited, and even if you thought it was a bad idea, couldn't say 'no' to him. - I've worked at DC Comics, and also my comic turned into a Netflix series so...

1st person POV

   I really don't know how to feel about this. I mean, he's an amazing comic writer, and also he's so cute, and lovely, and- NO! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! It's so fucking wrong think about him this way.

   Well, he's cool, but I think spending time with him could make me fall for him for REAL.

   But i really need help. So i didn't think too much about it and just dropped the first thing that comes in my mind.

   - Sure! It will be awesome!

   - That's right, you're up for it tomorrow?

   - Yeah! After my shift, I'll bring my notes and sketches, then we can talk about the whole thing.

   I just get excited... sue me.

*** time skip ***

   With all my notes, drawings and stuff i'm in front of Way's house, waiting to someone to open the door.

   - Sup? -She looks hurried when open up the door and leaves the house. - I'm going out to my mom's place right now. So... if you need something, text me. - Since her parents divorced, my she keep 'froggin' between the both houses, and i never know where she will be until she say it.

   - So now you're leaving me? - I said, overreacting sadly - I thought you'd help me!

   - i'm not leaving you, and i never said i would help you... i'm not a professional. But I'm sure dad will help you. Now i gotta go. Bye!

   She gave me a fast hug and ran to the taxi cab as i got in the house.

   Gerard was in the living room, seated on the couch. He was wearing his 'Mercyful Fate' sweatshirt, and black jeans, pretty as alway.

   He stood up and greeted me, like usual.

   - So... what did you got in there? - He smirks and points to my bag.

   I started to unpack my notebooks, pens and some drawings I've done.

   - Well... The whole story I think. I know it's not perfect but i guess i-

   - lemme see - he took the script and read it carefully every detail. I'll not lie, i feel really judged and the only thing across my mind was "please like it". After the most slow ten minutes i have ever lived, he finally break the silence.

   - This is awesome. The main character has a good backstory. I also loved your art style.

I felt my face burn while I looked him in the eyes.

   - T-thanks - it was awkward, but i think he didn't notice.

   We spent the whole afternoon working together and everything was perfect, but when I was finishing the last draft of the day, he got closer to see how it was going, and I felt his hand on my leg. My heart started to race as I heard  his breath on my ear. I tried to keep doing my work, but I was melting on that chair and could barely hold the pencil.

   - Damn, this is beautiful. - He said practically whispering in my ear.

   I just smiled as he pulled back, so i started to pack my things to go back home. I stand up and looked at him.

   - Thanks for helping me... I was really confused about what to do with this.

   - That's fine, I mean, it's good to see young artists who are into comics and stuff. Thanks for letting me help, by the way.

   I hugged him. I don't know why, but I did, and damn it feels so good... He smelled like coffee. He was warm and I could easily sleep in his arms.

As I pulled away, he keeped his hands on my hips, I looked up to see his eyes and he moved his hand to my cheek. I pull my arms around his neck and we kiss. A passionate kiss, it feels like he wanted this for a long time.

I pulled away as I remembered that this was wrong. I mean, it feels great, but I was wrong. I'm his kid's best friend, there's no way this was right.

- I- I'm sorry! I didn't mean to kiss you. I mean, i wanted to but... this was so fucking- i started

  - That's fine... it's not like I didn't want to. But you're right... we're not supposed to do that. - the look on his face was nothing like regret. Was obvious that he didn't wanted to stop it. - I'm sorry... it was... unprofessional or whatever...

   Okay, it's oficial, he wanted me as much as I wanted him. That's a green flag to try something....

   - That's fine. I totally could do this again... if you wanted to...

   His smile grows as he pulled me closer and kiss me again, a needy kiss. This time shyless, and I felt his tongue explore my mouth, as I runned my fingers through his hair.  

  I was trying to focus just on the way he kissed me, but flashes of conscience passed through my mind, and I started to think about how wrong kissing his soft lips was.

   We stopped the kiss and just looked at each other for a moment. Maybe it wasn't that wrong.

- I gotta go home now...

- Yeah, I think so... maybe we can keep working at your comic next week.

- I would love to.

> Pt2

___________________________________________

That's it... requests are open btw ;)

[o0o0thorn0o0o]

New year, new OC. Well, to most of you, anyway.

No, I did not forget Karma and Gakushuu’s birthdays (though, I wouldn’t blame you if you thought I did). For Karma, I missed it ‘cause… well, I explained it in my last post; it’s there. So then I thought this was a perfect opportunity to make a brothers post, give him a late b-day piece, especially since if I were to pick one of the birthdays, I prefer January 1st (though, twins (and triplets, too, but, er, we’ll get to that very soon) don’t have to be born on the same day, so he could still be born on Christmas… details, details). And then, because I’ve been mulling over introducing her for a while, I decided to make it into a triplets post and introduce you to my OC Mineko.

She’s made a cameo before though; I don’t know if you remember. It was in a Kuniko piece.

I originally meant to introduce her in a fanfic first, but, uh… dunno when that’ll be written ^^; (I’ll get to it one day, but it’s not seeming anytime soon). Made her a few years ago because I really like seeing people give Gakushuu or Karma a sister, and since I’m obsessed with brothers’ AUs, why not hit two birds with one stone? Though, she only came into proper fruition when I got the fic idea. But yeah, decided to introduce her now, since January 1st is definitely her birthday, regardless of Karma’s (she’s the middle triplet. Gakushuu’s still the baby brother, haha). That was the plan, anyway, considering January 1st was yesterday… Oops.

But yeah, a belated happy birthday to Gakushuu (and Mineko), and a very belated happy birthday to Karma (One year, I’ll be on time for both 😤).

I’ll post some old sketches of her in a few days from now (to pad out some time for my next post; dunno when I’ll get something new out), and I’ll talk a bit more about her then, too, so you have some info on her and she’s not just a blank slate until I get her character sheet done (I am working on those, trust me… just, the art rut paused the process). But yeah, kinda wanna talk about the piece for a bit.

Since I’m dealing with 3, Neapolitan flavors were an easy idea to come to. So they’re having a little sibling outing on their birthday, eating little cakes. Obviously don’t have to explain Karma’s choice of flavor, but I kinda wanna explain Shuu’s. See, when I was a kid, I vividly remember seeing vanilla being referred to as the king of ice cream flavors, but when I looked it up years down the line, I couldn’t really find anything justifying my memory :/ But I’m pairing Shuu with vanilla because of that title my little kid brain may or may not have made up. I mean, why wouldn’t he want the (hypothetical) king of all flavors? And then Mineko gets chocolate by process of elimination. She wouldn’t really have a preference between those three flavors.

[highfiveheroes]

HELLO HELLO HELLO! some ch2 spoilers in here, so answer at any pace you choose, but: the entire buddy-with-a-knife scene (starting with "ee're out of rice") for the fic commentary ask. that WILL be living in my head and heart and soul forever, and it's CHILLING. please tell me all about it.

I LOVE THIS SCENEEEEEE this is going under the cut because it's gonna be LONG but!!! could not be more pleased to yell about this whole interaction

"We’re out of rice," Oisin announces. Ivy, who’s sitting at the bar sketching out their map, sighs.

"I thought Jace was getting us some?"

"Nope," Ruben says. He’s on the windowsill, his guitar draped across his lap as he picks a few chords over and over. "I didn’t tell him to. Nobody told me we were out."

this little intro scene is just. i LOVE writing everyone as a crew. they could all be somewhere else, if they really wanted, but why would they? i've talked before (and plenty of other people have made posts about it as well) regarding the sunk-cost fallacy of "we're in this together, we might as well stick around and see it through, we can't get away from it even if we wanted". ruben doesn't NEED to be playing his guitar around everyone, but he does, because he likes the company. oisin and ivy are always together. mary ann just likes having a place to sit. buddy and oisin are cooking together—they're probably the competent ones, the ones that have family recipes, etc. so it's like no, they don't NEED to all be together, but they do it anyway—and kipperlilly specifically needs to feel important, so she hangs around them, "supervising". also of note—ruben has to be Very Responsible. at this point porter and jace have pseudo-moved in, but the entire rest of the year there's been NO adult supervision, so he's had to be in charge of groceries and maintenance which is,,,, an issue. now that he has someone else he gives them all the things to worry about and takes a backseat, so he's missed way more. (plus, with him and buddy...yeah <3)

Buddy is by the stove, chopping meat or something. Kipperlilly happens to notice him stiffening, but she doesn’t think much of it for a moment.

"I didn’t even think we went through that much rice," Ivy mumbles, going back to her map.

"I made soup yesterday," Mary Ann reminds them, her game making a little cheering noise. "I told Oisin."

Kipperlilly doesn’t know where Jace is. She doesn’t think it’s important. It’s not. Right?

the little bits interspersed are so important to me as one of those "build the tension" choices. tell the action, have mundane thoughts, but the thoughts CANNOT give into the concern. if you don't think about it, it isn't happening! buddy's starting to look angry—i wonder where jace is. we're out of rice—buddy is just cutting meat. that's all. y'know? LOVED this trick it was very fun to write

"Well, fuck that, then. I guess we’re having pizza or something if there’s any in the fridge," Oisin mumbles.

Nobody’s left the house in days. Kipperlilly is standing by the doorway to the living room, surveying everyone like she always does. There’s something in the air, and it starts to get thicker when she sees Buddy slowly turn to Oisin.

another foreshadowing moment right? kipperlilly sees the writing on the wall, and she could probably say something, but she chooses not to. why would she? it's not going to affect her really. right? they're all in this together whether they want to be or not. but also, her judgement is so skewed now that there's a genuine chance that she doesn't see how severe the issue is until it's too late.

(and then maybe there's a sick part of her that likes seeing someone else's perfect façade crack. but that's subject to analysis at a different time. in fact, i could write a whole essay about my takes on buddy and kipperlilly as foils and why they'd be the perfect partners for ruben in a different life i mean what)

"No rice?" he asks. His voice is tight.

Oisin doesn’t turn around. He doesn’t seem worried. Kipperlilly wonders if he’s just stupid to have not felt the energy change.

"No rice," he confirms, shutting the cabinet. "So no fried rice for dinner."

"And no one thought to check for the ingredients beforehand?" Buddy asks. His voice is too calm. Kipperlilly’s hackles are raised.

He hasn’t put the knife down. It’s shaking in Buddy’s grip.

"Didn’t think we had to. My bad." Oisin raises his hands sarcastically, shaking them, and he doesn’t turn fast enough to see Buddy lunge at him, taking the knife, plunging it into his heart, dragging it down so that the fabric of his shirt and the scales of his chest rip with a sickening sound. Oisin chokes, gurgling, but it’s too late. He goes down before anyone else can react.

Kipperlilly saw all of it. She feels sick.

"Next time," Buddy announces, throwing the knife down, "we ought to check for ingredients before you make me start cutting up one of our Lord’s great creatures. Someone get started on that pizza." He looks down, sneering. "Otherwise, I might get a little hungry for something with scales."

THIS. so like. the take i have taken with the rage gems is that they slowly start to deteriorate the body they're in the longer they're in there. in the jace fics, you can see it REALLY evidently in how fast he spirals—like a parasite, right? and the more angry he gets, the more anger it wants the next time. it's like those little toys you get that are packed sand that you're supposed to chip away at. even saturated with water they're very hard to chip apart, until it All Crumbles At Once. goes to follow > kipperlilly had it first, but she accepted it, so her rate is slightly altered. jace had it the next longest, he starts losing it first. nobody else has the anger issues they have, but the catharsis of killing again and again is starting to accelerate it.

but buddy? who's only had the gem for a few days? he was so angry it happened in the first place, that his spiral has...well, he's much further along than kipperlilly at this point, let's say that. and it's only been a few days.

but he's got to act on it, right? he's spent so long without getting angry at all, and then he was so furious that when he finally was taken inventory of, his base rate was NOWHERE where it normally is. so his spiral takes him So Far Away from who he normally is. his personality does a complete 180.

but he's also spent so long working with the passive aggressive niceties of the church of helio (read: that sweet and southern "bless your heart" attitude, obfuscating what you really want to say and how you feel, etc) that he's brilliant at it with everyone else. but he's spent a year watching these fuckers kill each other in cold blood for things like cereal milk. he can let go with them. and let go he does!!!

Ivy, who also had a front-row seat to her best friend’s murder, looks deathly pale as she gags, then runs out of the room. She’s never seen Oisin murdered like that before, Kipperlilly remembers. Her own lips shake as she licks them.

"He’s gonna stain the floor," Mary Ann says. She didn’t look up.

this is another one of those moments that is just. they're kids, being kids. hanging out. right? and there's a LOT happening behind the scenes that kipperlilly hasn't been privy to of her own accord (ie. too dialed into her own shit...like a certain wannabe god.)

kipperlilly doesn't bother herself with details like who cleans up all the blood and violence. ruben probably has cleaners, right? but even if he doesn't, it genuinely doesn't have any affect on her if mary ann is the one on her knees scrubbing the blood out of the carpet and the tile and the walls. it started when she was the one causing the biggest messes, and it ended when oisin landed on the floor in this scene. she can mop it up, but there's no point in stopping it from staining. (to be fair, mary ann would never TELL kipperlilly or anyone this, so kip may not have even known even if she showed signs of empathy.)

and then...ivy. sweet ivy, who has been crushing on oisin since they were thirteen and is properly in love with him now and pissed that he won't notice her because he's so obsessed with adaine abernant. and she knew they wouldn't make it out of here alive, but when someone like ruben kills oisin, it's not quite so...vicious. there's a layer of respect still, one of those "i respect you still, you can kill me this way later, we'll be okay, this isn't personal." but with buddy there's none of that. this is his first murder (yay!) and he just fucking BODIES oisin for something that wasn't even really his fault, and the fact that they HEAR it? and it brings up a second point she hasn't been aware of—that she may have to watch oisin die. there's SO MUCH MORE with oisin and ivy that i'm getting into when i get to writing their aside for this universe but like...guys. this was brutal for more reasons than just what it appears. and kipperlilly misses ALL OF IT.

"You’re the cleric," Kipperlilly reminds Buddy, her voice surprisingly steady. "You have to revive him."

Buddy glares at her with such vitrol that she physically steps away. "I’m aware. I will do it when I’m ready. I have ten minutes, don’t I?"

Kipperlilly almost argues, but it’s easier to just nod. Buddy takes the meat he was cutting and dumps it in the sink, turning on the disposal and leaving it running as he pushes past Kipperlilly into the rest of the house. She doesn’t look at Oisin; Mary Ann is probably right, and the tile is probably going to be stained worse than it was before, but she doesn’t look to see how much blood there is. For the first time, she doesn’t think she can stomach it.

She decides to give it eight minutes before she bothers Buddy about it again, so she starts counting.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen…

okay this!!! i am not the most familiar with dnd mechanics, but (as you and i have discussed previously jade LOL) this is definitely a moment of the cleric realizing he can play god. he's in control of life or death in a way he hasn't been before, and he's spent all year watching these fuckers turn on each other, and he's taking the chance of "oisin is probably going to stabilize, and if he doesn't, i'll deal with it later." i think they have a 10 minute rule amongst the group because after that it can verge into actual feelings of mourning, and that's not fun for anyone involved. (yes, it's usually an immediate revive, but the ten minute thing is something they've all had discussions about when it's brought up, so like. it's still a fact, even if they've never used the full ten minutes before.)

and the counting...i've noticed that i have a habit of incorporating some of those "calming yourself down" tricks into characters who are vaguely unstable. i think it makes sense for kipperlilly though, that when she's scared or upset, jawbone had tried to encourage her to take that moment of "try counting, get your mind onto something steady with an end goal, see if that doesn't help" sort of thing. so she gives herself a set time limit and starts counting, and that way she doesn't have to worry about the body on the floor.

(another note though: kipperlilly is for sure also haunted by what the hell just happened, because she came to the same conclusion that ivy did, that rage-starred buddy is a completely different beast than regular buddy and it probably shook her down to her core. just a fun little thing <3)

so!! i intentionally didn't include a lot in this scene, but it's also SO FUCKING MUCH to me. personally. there's a lot happening behind the scenes that's going to come out in later chapters and asides, but. god i love this. thank you for asking and letting me ramble LMAO

[demonicintegrity]

I know these aren't the prettiest pictures or best handwriting I've had, so forgive me for just trying to get these uploaded. Each page will be transcribed under the read more.

I went to a protest yesterday, and I've drawn at one of these protests before, but because this one was longer and bigger I went through the effort of making a booklet to take notes and draw more scenes.

The biggest thing for me is that there's so much pain at the loss of life. At the horrific events currently unfolding now and in the past that has caused this. Nothing will get better if we don't have a ceasefire first. Most importantly, for us across the world not actively in this, it's important we divest our money away from bombs and war and into our own communities and peaceful resolutions. We have responsibilities here too.

IMPORTANT NOTE: There are certain signs and quotes here that I have way more thoughts on that aren't elaborated here. Please do not take anything I'm writing down that isn't my own words as the be-all-end-all of my thoughts and opinions. There is nuance here and be civil. Also, quotes are likely missing some context in the whole speech.

Transcription under cut, it's a lot but I would at least like y'all to skim it and read my next day thoughts:

Image 1/Cover: A sticker with crayon lines echoing it in red, green, and black. The text on the sticker reads "FREE PALESTINE. SAT MAY 11th 2024 JOHNSON SQUARE Savannah, GA. From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free! Ceasefire now!"

Image 2/Page one: Start of bullet point notes marked with an X, with additional notes around it. Top right has two circles within it being "I'm not apart of the official organizers" and "@sav4palestine on Insta" Notes are as follows,

My arrival around ~ 11:30am -Set up still happening, just gathering -Missing kid poster on benches, not protest related & not to be messed with

11:50am -Art is unloaded w/ water jugs (drums?) -More people gathered -Speaker set up -WJCL 22 ABC arrived -Haven't noticed any police, ->They were here early last protest w/ the chalk art

Baby post is from an Israeli supporter. It's of a baby kidnapped on Oct 17th by Hamas. He has an Israel flag -Sympathies of course, Oct 7 was tragic for many, but that's not an excuse for the ongoing genocide -Carpet bombing won't bring hostages. Nor will mass graves or concentration camps -A ceasefire will benefit all innocents and hostages (written on side of page) It had a QR code I didn't scan. I'm not trusting any QR codes @ protests -> He's sticking around w/ an Israel flag he's the only one I think

12:04pm -Cops allegedly around the square -I see them now (have been here since the beginning)

12:09pm -Music starts -More news arrives

Image 3/Page two: More bullet points with a rough sketch. Written is as follows,

12:16pm Someone in a royal bike taxi shirt is harrassing protesters bc "Palestine shouldn't have put Hamas in power." -Hamas doesn't define Palestinians just like the Israeli gov doesn't define them. There are Israeli against [Netanyahu] [was misspelled in picture]

Very loose sketch of the protest in Johnson Square from the side. There are multiple people set up and speaking on a stone to the right and a large crowd surrounds them from the left

12:20pm Counter protest truck pulls up -Keeping an eye on it -Crowd is huge -Has an American flag w/him ([new] counter protestor does) -Truck parked behind the news, partially in Traffic -playing their own music?

12:26pm 2 (3?) counter protesters to a huge crowd for Palestine -Speeches starting

Image 4/Page three: Transcriptions of signs read, quotes from speakers, and notes. As follows,

Sign: You will not antisemite me into compliciting with genocide

Sign: It is a priviledge to be able to ignore something that others are dying from

Sign: Your silence will be studied by your children

12:32pm counter protesters trying to cover up speech w/ music

(Quote) "This is not a single university left in Gaza."

USA chants from counter protesters drowned out by free Palestine chat -lol, lmao even

Calvary on standby -I see two police on horses

USA chants @ free speech on other campuses being repressed -shame

Sign: when you need to have hundred of protests just to tell the world that bombing children is not okay, you know humanity (we) failed

Image 5/Page four: More transcriptions as follows

(quote) "The students have never been on the wrong side of history."

Sign: Queers for Palestine

Sign: Hands off Rafah!

Sign: Remembrance is resistance

12:50pm new speaker up -counter protesters packing up?

(quote) "The media put it out, and America ate it up."

12:52pm counter protesters gone

Sign: Man fuck western news follow (insta @'s) [I could not make them out very well]

12:56pm starting march, -No stopping until Reynolds Sqaure -Prob gonna have more counter protesters -will recap after walk

Wrap up: March went well, short, only motorcycles tried to rev and cover up. No other counter protesting -New chanting -1:09pm

Sign: We did it, Joe we funded Genocide! Ceasefire now

Image 6/Page five: More transcriptions as follows,

1:13pm taking this march to city hall

1:18pm reaching new meet up -some revving & flipping off, but peaceful & went well

Sign: Injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere

1:23pm new speaker up -Member of the Jewish trans community -Addressing antisemitism claims

Sign: Gulfstream $$$ is blood $$$

United states of Israhell, cut this shit out. You were killing Palestine long before Hamas was created. 75 years under your occupation created Hamas

1:30pm Demanding ceasefire from mayor -He denied early into this -Heard "Fuck You" from hecklers

Sign: Queer Arabs for Free Palestine

Sign: 40,000 people dead is not self-defense

Sign: Congratulations 2024 Palestine graduates

(quote) "This greed has dominated this land for 500 years."

Image 7/Page six: More transcriptions as follows

(quote) "I will not appeal to the morals of the greedy ruling class, they have none."

1:42pm cops hanging out around

Sign: It's not war, it's genocide

1:47pm Closing remarks & chants Organized by @ sav4palestine

Very loose sketch of the protest in front of the city hall. Protesters are on a bench holding a banner as the crowd surrounds in front and behind them.

Image 8/Page seven: Next day thoughts as follows Gone through and corrected any legibility/spelling stuff, but didn't touch the drawings at all. Highlighted quotes from the speeches that stuck out to me. I don't know why I started doing this. I just wanted to be involved. I know the importance of primary sources, I know the importance of being present and aware. Being there was inspiring, even when certain moments and events would strike a chord of wrong within me. Nothing is perfect, but progress and peace is worth the missteps and accidents. We mean well, and that is important. I am not free from my missteps and ignorance either, and as I take notes and continue to dig and learn, I will continue to do better. We all are important in this battle. The conflict is older than us, created by systems intending to divide and self serve. We all have a part to play, from the Palestinian journalists and red cross martyred in their line work, to the protests in Israel criticizing their far-right government and calling for Netanyahu's (resignation) to us worldwide demanding divestment and acknowledgement to our self-serving histories that created this mess. True progress starts with a ceasefire, so no more lives are lost. From there we can work on peaceful resolutions. This conflict has upset me from the beginning. I can only hope a happy resolution is soon and try to work towards that.

-End of transcript-

[dovebugxoxo]

o6. Hello, November.

Today is November 1st, and that means one thing: it's launch month!! I can't actually believe it, but Promise Me is set to start posting at the end of this month!! I honestly thought that the start of December was world away but here we are, tucking Fall in and preparing for another weird winter. I did a ton of bloodwork yesterday -- like. I gave more blood than I have ever given in my 34 years of life and I am both anxious and really hopeful. The rheumatologist that I met with was seriously so nice. I see her again in 2 weeks and ... that might be when I figure everything out. It feels so fucking unreal. November 2024 is a big month for a lot of reasons. I hope yours is treating you well. As far as the comic goes, I have been slow to actually get back into, like. Working on it. After this weekend that won't be a problem; I intend to start an actual schedule that may or may not include streaming some of my process -- and I intend to do another video about webcomic stuff very soon!! Honestly, I really do miss the comfort that comes with a stable schedule but with everything happening physically I have to accept that this comic probably won't have the best posting schedule in the world. That's okay. I really just want to work on this, to get it posting, to have something to show for how much I love this story. This story is my baby, truly. It means the world to me.

The dialog's dialog is completed and I am sketching the panels now -- but I have also skipped way ahead to work on some scenes that I really want to look a certain way. I'll probably change some stuff on and off as we go, and I am hoping to hide some easter eggs and recurring symbols and stuff if I can get away with it. That kinda stuff requires a LOT of thinking ahead -- and a lot of times, an amazing idea won't hit me until I am already really in there. Still!! I am betting that next week I am gonna have a big update with some cool artwork to show -- but until then, I'll be posting some information about the characters based on some memes happening over on BSKY.

[talenlee]

Starting New Habits

I bought a sketchbook yesterday.

Not yesterday when you read this of course, but yesterday for me.

I bought the sketchbook at the Reject Shop. It was not a nice sketchbook. It was not an expensive sketchbook. It doesn’t have a nice cover. It doesn’t have a leather case to keep it in. It’s not like the leather cover my sister got me for my bullet journal. It cost me $3 and its brand name is ‘VISUAL ART DIARY.’

Today, I started drawing in it.

The process of writing in this blog this year has been an ongoing test of writing to a specific word limit. I used to just write whatever ‘felt good,’ and the normal size of a post was where I thought I’d delivered a good amount. I get very little feedback on my writing, but one thing I did get reasonably often was that some articles felt they ended about where they wanted them to keep going, so I set the target of a thousand words a day this year.

I don’t like the idea that I’m padding my work. Hitting 700 or 800 words and thinking I’m out of words makes me look at what I’m doing and check if I’ve missed something I meant to talk about, or if I’m saying something badly and should repivot the whole article to be about something else. There are definitely some outliers – this year has featured numerous articles in the 3,000 plus words size – but keeping to a thousand words keeps me scrutinising my work. I don’t mind that.

It’s that reflecting on myself that plays into why I got this sketchbook, and why I started to draw in it.

I mean, just reflecting on this, I was thinking about my relationship to this blog, the thing that I call doing work. I know that, for example, autoethnography, the kind of research I do, involves essentially, keeping progress diaries that you know will be shared with an audience, but then also, that that sharing with an audience will need to be to trust that it’s honest. That means I’m not just writing for a public audience (of a sorts) but I’m having to do it in a way that resists the natural fear I have of revealing too much of myself.

Just talking about process, this is an article that in my mind, is a padding article. I thought, today, the Desert Bus game jam would be running. My plan for what went up today – oh yeah, that Desert Bus game jam a few weeks ago? But my plan for today was going to be writing my post about making the game I had in mind for the Desert Bus Jam. Time stamp for any of you who might like imagining you know the order I write these things. Today, with that sapped out of me, I just didn’t have anything to write about any more. I rearranged things – I put up an article about orcs, and that means that there’s a week of articles about Magic: The Gathering transformers cards… I guess vehicles fit the bus theme?

I am surrounded by people with very different relationships to their stuff. Some of them are people who own things they never use because they don’t want to use them up or damage them. But if this is a piece of trash sketchbook, not a gift, not a nice thing. It’s just a thing I got under my own power, that doesn’t cost a lot and doesn’t need any kind of special reverent treatment.

The cover on my bullet journal is on my mind because I realise I don’t actually pull that thing out anywhere but at home. It lives on my desk, face-up. I don’t travel with it, I don’t take it to work, and when I took it to work, I didn’t pull it out at work, because it’s got this nice leather cover and the leather cover has a strap and you need to be mindful about it and where it lays. This replaces the little rubber strap the actual book has to start with, which isn’t a serious thing. My sister got me something lovely for my bullet journal, and I don’t dislike it. But having it made my bullet journal something more serious than it is, and that means I use it less for what it is.

Okay, but I got a cheap sketch pad. Why?

I need it to be cheap, so I use it.

I need the way I engage with it to be cheap, so I use it.

I need the thing to be low investment, so I use it.

I need to use it.

I need to draw a lot of bad drawings and I need them to be in something that isn’t precious and if I want to throw it out I can, because the point is not the object, the point is the practice. I need to stop hesitating from doing things because I’m trying to preserve a perfect record that makes me look good. I need to stop caring about how someone else, who isn’t me, is going to feel about how I use the things I get for myself. And it sucks to think like that.

But it matters to me, as a creator and as an advocate for creators, that we all recognise that it’s okay to make things that aren’t permanent. That nothing I make will last. That what matters is the experience of it and what I can share. Save things for use later, don’t save them for the ideal of saving them forever. Waiting forever is how things live their lives unused and eventually fall apart from the weight of time itself. It’s a great way to have a bookshelf full of tomes you never get around to read for fear of cracked spines. It’s okay instead to have junk and trash and make what you can with it because the interface of your tools is important to how you can emotionally handle creating.

It needs to make you feel okay to do what you’re doing. I know some of you need fancy sketchbooks to feel like what you’re doing is serious. I’m not telling you how to live your lives. I’m telling you how I live mine. And I started this sketchbook, making this.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[inkovert]

Some Call It Fate - Excerpt 1/?

WIP INTRO

I picked at my clothes, adjusting its fit in the mirror. Despite just taking a quick shower, I lifted my arms and took a whiff, checking for any signs of post-workout sweat. Kicking my running shoes into the closet, I scooped up my satchel bag, cursing as I smothered a yawn. 

Restless and deflated from last night, I woke up earlier than usual and snuck out for a run. I knew if Jeremy found out he’d be furious, so I’d been strategic about not raising any suspicion. 

Everything was fine. It was all behind me. 

My bare walls glared back at me accusingly. I squirmed in my sneakers. 

In a fit of rage, I’d torn down all my sketches, push pins holding up frayed paper edges serving as the only remnants of what had once been. Taking in the extent of the destruction, something pulled in my chest. 

A knock sounded at the door. My heart rate surged.

“Yo, you seen my shin guards? I practiced out back after dinner and I forgot where I left them.” 

Panicking, I glanced around. Forget getting on my case about running, if Jeremy saw my walls he'd raise hell. 

The doorknob started to turn and without thinking I blurted out, “Jer, what the fuck, I’m naked!” 

The door promptly shut. “Does that mean your ears ain’t working?” 

“I don’t know where your guards are! I keep telling you to stop throwing your shit around after practicing.” 

“Damn,” he said. “No need to get testy.” 

Once his footsteps receded, I exhaled. Checking my hair once more in the mirror, I yanked open my bedroom door.

“Fuck!” I shrieked, jumping back. 

Jeremy stood on the other side, fist poised to knock. His lips parted, then his eyes slid away from my face, his expression morphing into utter horror. 

He shoved me aside. “What the fuck happened in here? Was there a fire or something?” 

I spun around. “No, I—“

“What happened to all your drawings?” He swung around to face me, eyes bulging. “Are you moving out? Did we get robbed? The feds after you?”

Closing the gap between us, I clamped my hands on his shoulders. “Jer, calm down. Nothing is happening. Everything’s fine.” 

His brows furrowed, and he jerked a thumb behind him. “Whatchu mean ‘everything's fine’? This looks like a cry for help.” 

“I’m just…redecorating,” I threw out frivolously. 

He squinted, clearly not buying it. Casting a critical look around like a detective sniffing for evidence, he paused, then glared at me. “You went running.”

The accusation startled me but I kept my cool. “What? No I didn’t.”

He took three long strides over to my desk chair and brandished my silk headband. 

I resisted the urge to slap my forehead. How could I have been so careless?

I shrugged him off. “Okay, so what? I went on a little run. Exercise is good for you, you know.” 

“No,” he said with a vigorous head shake. “Not the way you do it.” 

“Jer, seriously I’m —“

“Don’t downplay this shit, Cami,” he harshly cut me off. “You promised. You told me it wouldn’t happen again.” 

Tears threatened to well up behind my eyes. “I—“ My mouth went dry. “I won’t push myself that far again. It was a one time thing.”

Dropping the headband, he crossed his arms. “How many times do you have to go through the trauma of thinking your sister has gone missing only to find her passed out on the side of the road for you not to be scared shitless at the thought of her ever running again?”

 Clenching my jaw, I deflected the pleading, accusatory look in his hazel eyes. 

He threw up his hands. “Look, I can’t tell you how to grieve. But putting yourself in danger is out of the question.” I stubbornly wiped a stray tear from the corner of my eye. He sighed. “I get it, man. I know you two had your thing with music and all that. I lost him, too.” 

Looking up at the ceiling, I blinked away tears. “I talked about him in the past tense yesterday. Without even realizing. Like that shit was fucking normal." A crease formed between my brows. "When did that happen?” I asked quietly into an open void. 

Kicking at the carpet, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his shorts. “It’ll be eight next week.” Perplexed, I waited for him to elaborate. “The number of games he’s missed. I can’t stop counting. I always look up into the bleachers, hoping by some miracle he’ll be there.”

I choked back a sob. “I hate this. This…this pain. This ache. “ My fingers curled into claws close to my chest. “It’s embedded in me, in my bones, and I feel like it’s never gonna go away.” 

Without hesitating, Jeremy swept me into an embrace. 

“Do you wanna talk about the walls?” he asked, voice soft.

I shook my head. “No.” 

[inconmess]

Drawings and Laughter

I know I said that I was starting off "A Study in Coping" with Ashton but then yesterday's episode dropped and I had to do this. So FRIDA first, and next comes Ashton.

FRIDA stared at their latest drawing, wondering how they’d missed the child for so long. They had been having this dream for a really long time and FCG had been the one to spot it in just one visit?

Glowing eyes and figure of a baby. That’s what they’d mentioned when they asked to describe the baby for they had just had the sensation alone for a really long time that it was disarming to know there was a child in there. What could it mean? Was it just an old memory like they’d mentioned to FCG? Was it something recent they’d forgotten about? They’d been awake for two years and this was just a recentish development that had happened.

And FCG couldn't dream. They were the only one who could, which was also strange. Was this child a tether of some sort? A link? A question? An answer? They didn't know.

A shuffle in pages landed on a well worn sheet of paper of their first ever drawing… more of a squiggly, not in order line drawing, really but hey! In their defence, they had just woken up a few days ago with no memories whatsoever. And before Deanna and all the laughters, this was the only solace, and as they thought of it, a way to integrate into a world which equally depends on writing, something which they’d apparently forgotten how to do.

“Drawing helps with the fine motor skills.” an old lady had remarked when they’d chanced upon her. So what once started out as a learning method slowly became the reason they also documented things, before they discovered the feature to record things.

Further drawings explored more lines, shapes and then buildings and towers along with a small skyline.

Their first experience with colour and people though, was when they first met Deanna and it was a whole other magical moment in itself. New arenas to explore and more to figure out…

The next few sheets held another set of trial and demo sheets, this time with colours, before going back to crude sketches, some of places, some of architecture but mostly around Deanna, her poses, her smiles and their deep desire to capture the beauty of their friend.

It probably still wasn't their best work but they definitely were improving as time passed, the lines kind of becoming more stable as they wrote small notes in the corner on where to improve or other things they wanted to take note of…

They’d told the others that recording people’s laughter to play it back to them made them happy… and it did, it really did. Something about capturing happy moments to play it back to them to help people out when they are low, or knowing that you were the cause of that moment was great. What was equally great was creating things and controlling what you create, they found out, especially if it brings joy to others.

Hope you all like it! This is not the complete version as I did start it off as a fic but it was lengthier so I will finish it and post it on AO3 as an extended version.

Have any other theories/HCs on FRIDA's coping mechanisms? Another HC, though I wasn't able to add it into this section -

Frida tried to knit with Deanna but failed miserably because they were initially struggling with their dexterity in the fingers. It was improved but they take up the needle very rarely. Deanna wears a scarf knit by FRIDA when she's at home.

[sammtoland]

Yesterday I worked on my 4th painting in class. I was painting my dog, Frisky, under the bed. I thought this canvas shape/size lent itself really well to that composition. I started by defining the floor line with a dark blue and the bottom of the bed frame in a neon-ish yellow green with the base color being a teal-ish green color (the color I got from mixing the two with some white). Then I went in layering the sketch lines for frisky figure. I went basic and blocked out the shapes for the first layer and little by little added in the layers of all her curly fur. Her hair was a little overgrown in my reference photo because I had missed her groomer appointment but I think that fluffy look was more suitable for her portrait. Frisky is a really loyal dog who follows me literally everywhere I go all day and I think her being all fluffy gives her that soft cuddly look. When she’s extra fluffy she looks sweet and soft like a teddy bear.

Here a little bit of an up close. I painted in the suggestion of her features like her eyes or her mouth/lips but then layered her fur over those. Because I’m not going too deep into the refining part the layer of these details still peak out through everything like it does in real life.

At this point the I wanted to add details to give the viewer more of an idea of where frisky is supposed to be. So I thought to add in feet, one resting on the floor and the other resting on the bed post, making is so you can just barely see past the toes. The shoes from the day thrown down next to the feet and the blanket spilling off the bed. I wanted the bits of the human (myself) to feel exhausted while frisky is more calm and comforting/comfortable.

The Professor suggested in adding a color to combat the tone I was using such as a rusty peach color or something like that. So I did, using this peach to add in details to the inanimate parts of the painting ( the blanket, the shoes, and the bed post).

This was my work in the end. I’m really happy with how it came out, it has a certain charm to it. This is really different from work I usually make but I think that’s a good thing. I’ve been stuck on my one kind of style I haven’t allowed myself to branch out and I think this is really good for me going forward. Each time I’ve been doing these kinds of paintings I’ve gotten better. This is my 4th piece but technically only my second that I will be using for my final 5. Expect to see quite a few posts these next two weeks. I want to get painting 1 and 2 done and 5 at least conceptualized.

[cielwells]

April 2024 Update

At the end in the "Failed Experiment" heading I'll leave that failed experiment. At the start of April I planned on doing a daily update and posting the result as month's end for my monthly update. On day 86 or so I lost track. Only to realize on day 108.

Looking at April in hindsight, what do I think I can learn or what I learned?

I see where I started trying to branch out into multi-day works instead of sticking to a single day and moving on.

Day 65: Was a failed attempt at it.

Day 71 and 72 was the Nek-sliver.

Day 89 and 90 were Pekora Vegetta.

Looking at the naming convention I use, surprisingly Frieren (I have three 76s and she's 2) wasn't one of them. 89 and 80B, paper bag guy, also weren't.

I suppose towards the end of the month I started stretching myself more with fanart.

The Failed Experiment

Monthly Format, yo!

Yo! Not sure what will be here at month's end, but I decided to try this for April, 2024. I don't want to spam daily with my draw something a day project, but I definitely want to make sure I'm reflecting on this stuff to some degree.

Then I had a thought. Doesn't Tumblr have a draft feature?

*returns a day later to see everyone beyond that is missing despite attempts to save*

Arguably.

I hope, hoped, to use the draft to keep a daily reflection written, formatted, etc. while avoiding a daily spam of drawings that I don't feel merit their own posts. Since my plan is, was, will be, to release a collage monthly... well, this seemed a way to kill two bids at once.

Daily Logs

Day 63 - One of the Lost

One of the lost entries. This will be brief unless I come back to rewrite it when I'm in a better headspace.

Primary Goal: Explore CSP's brushes some.

I feel I accomplished that.

Day 64 - One of the Lost

The primary goal of this one was to play around with a certain style's coloring technique some. Maybe even use it as a template for this purpose going into the future so I could jump straight into the coloring section.

I "ran out of time" partway through practicing inking. Looks like I still have an issue with relative brush sizes.

Since I forgot to mark it, no reference used.

Day 65

*Returns to this on day 76, and coughs up a lung* Vacation and illness arc ahead.

Was going to use this over a few days to practice different shading and coloring techniques, but I ended up dropping it due to travel.

Day 66

Quick sketch due to traveling.

Day 67

Another quick sketch. A borderline abstract sketch of my time in Tennessee.

Day 68

Sad frog in the snow.

Day 69

Random quick sketches.

Day 70

Incomplete sketch of an idea. A Sliver in a circular shape. First attempt was coiling it up.

Day 71

A second attempt. The head is circular with the tail and arm blades making the expression.

Day 72

Probably inspired by Albert from "The Girl From the Other Side". I had finished the series a few days beforehand.

Day 73

My most blatant cheat image.

Day 74

Sickness fulling kicking in.

Day 75

Stupid sick sketch. Random doodle became an "Amogus". Then I did a reflected jump scare in the visor.

Day 76

Starting to feel better. Streak tracking app didn't save my things from yesterday so I thought it was day 75 still when I started. Then I got a "there is already a save by this name!" when I tried to save it as day 75.

After the "proper 76" I continued sketching a bit in the style that feels more "right". The eyes are clearly off. I can feel I'm getting a better sense of hair chunk flows. Granted, at my basic skill "better" is relative.

I'm calling this here. With more time I could do more with it. Maybe another day I will, but it is late and I nearing my limit of trying to put off taking my next dose of cold medicine.

Frieren is the subject.

The next day I ended up doing more work on it.

Day 77

Gave a night landscape a try again.

Day 78

A bunch of random shapes and quick practice. I forget what triggered my desire to go back to working on the basicer basics.

Day 79

Maybe inspired by Albert from "Girl on the Other Side". The horn shape was the primary object of my focus on this day.

Day 80

The goal this day was perspective playing. You can still somewhat see where I kept redrawing the eyes, repositioning them, to get the perspective I wanted.

Day 81

Day 81 proper was just a sketch of The Durge from Baldur's Gate 3.

The warmup was inspired by Pikat's Partner's 30 Day Video.

Day 82

Inspired by a meme, maybe a YouTube short? It was a four frame dealio where each layer was improving your "level". Flat image of water in a glass. Then shading it. Then two more of the red water slurping around the glass.

Day 83

Was in a rush between chores, friends, getting my other X times a week things done. A Haro on adult Gon Freecs' body. The left arm really needs more work. At least the forearm.

Day 84

Got a bug in my ear to try a technique for shirts.

Day 85

Wanted to give cold weather clothes a try.

Day 86

Was a second attempt at a sweater. Turned into randomness.

Day... bleh

At some point I lost track of this. Keeping a daily log just ended up being too much for me right now, I guess.

[toloveandbelovedtoo]

Day 3: practice

I had to think about today, since starting this and thinking about love, I think about how to practice and integrate it in my day. I had gone to Backyard BBQ for lunch and as I was leaving, I realized it would have been a good opportunity to pay for someone's meal. I think about it when I hold a door open for someone or when it's held for me. I thought about love when my neighbor offered my some plant clippings and when I laid on the floor with Kiwi.

But today I want to make it a continuation of yesterday as art has been on my mind lately. I woke up still feeling grumpy and disgruntled by my art practice. It's a gray day, cloudy outside but not really raining and I felt tired. I got the idea then to go back to basics. I'm a digital artist, pretty much all of my work is done on my iPad and I mostly work on big pieces with coloring and shading and the whole deal. And while that's great and my art has developed with each piece, I need to do the work all people do: basics and fundamentals.

I'm a self-taught artist. I had a phone with a stylus and one night in bed I thought, I want to draw. So I started going to town drawing people, doing the line art, the coloring, the shading, each piece was a full completed piece. My art was not that great two years ago, I definitely learned a lot and gotten so much better with spacing and proportions. But I realized that I should put in the work and practice of doing timed figure drawings, doing doodles, making sketches, and practicing the anatomy, the clothing, the background basics.

I grabbed some pencils and paper I bought a few years ago and posted up on my couch where I went through timed poses. I got 90 seconds with each figure and just went to drawing as much as I could before the time was up. Some poses were definitely more difficult than others, but I had fun. Fun! That was something I felt like was missing from my art yesterday and that I just wanted to have fun. I feel like I fell in that trap in fandom where I needed to be producing completed works and my worth was based on what I could produce and how often. I lost the joy.

And I realize now that some of my art block stems from the need to be instantly perfect. Perfection was demanded by my mother, each of us kids were gifted and talented, we didn't need practice, we didn't make mistakes. Whatever we picked up, we were supposed to know how to do it with little instruction. I am the sort-of-youngest of four (I'm a twin) and it always looked like my two older siblings were amazing at everything they did. My brother was a marching band science genius, my sister was the artist and musician. I stayed in the shadows in technical theatre.

I didn't know how to ask for help, or how to ask someone to teach me x, y, or z. My grades were to be A+ in school and when I, the son of a math teacher, was getting a D in calculus, I was yelled at for not asking for help. It was shameful that I needed a tutor to get through chemistry and that I couldn't keep up with my peers in school who were already going to college for math as they had completed all the courses the school system offered.

I would find myself getting frustrated with hobbies. When I was in middle school, I thought I would make jewelry, but I felt my work wasn't as good as my mom's or sister's. I learned to knit and was great at it, but it got boring after a while. I learned to crochet, sew, needlepoint. I tried an instrument but I'm fairly tone deaf and can't read music. I picked up hobbies easily and mastered a lot quickly, I was great at knitting, origami, gardening, and video gaming.

So I realized that's why I was getting so frustrated with art. I could see I have talent and potential, I love getting to draw bodies and explore what it means to be trans and queer through art. I love making my blorbos kiss. One of my favorite things is to draw from fan fics to surprise writers, it makes my heart warm to see their excitement. And so it's okay to not be good at everything at once. What was that Jake quote from Adventure Time? Sucking is just the first step to getting good at something? So I'm giving myself this act of love of learning my craft and hobby by working on lessons and the basics and fundamentals.

[shirecorn]

how about 17 and 24? what inspires you and how do you deal with art block?

Long post warning.

Art block...

I don't actually get art block, which is probably a combination of neurodivergence and drawing every day for the last 3 years

I wrote an entire tutorial about how to do that, but didn't feel like illustrating it. Would people want to read it even without visuals?

Maybe... I'll just start rambling.

There's a couple different types of art block, and it's really just a philosophy puzzle to get past them. I'm going to assume that the things I think of slow days, or art mud, is a milder form of art block and work through that.

Art block is a symptom, not a disease. You probably have something deep inside that you don't want to face, or don't know how. Sometimes you need to discover the cause, sometimes just power through.

Method 1: Rest

Let yourself just Exist. The act of consuming art is part of the process. Watching shows and playing games, taking a break and going gardening or focus on school. This is what you need for burnout-induced art block.

Method 2: Action

I always choose action, sometimes it means a tiny 2 min sketch per day. Ugly or super simplified. As long as I don't stop moving.

Toss everything. Start every piece thinking you will throw it away.

The act of drawing moves you forward; pinning it to the fridge does not. Don't work things until they are perfect. Work them until they are there.

Art block causes and solutions:

- No Inspiration

Not sure what to draw, nothing seems appealing. Art won't come out like it used to.

Do studies from life or photos. Sketch, paint, digital, traditional, doesn't matter. Rocks, fruit, figure drawing, landscapes, buildings, anything.

Study and copy professional's work. Old masters are best, like rubens, michalangelo (only his men tho) etc because they will teach you anatomy while you work. If you copy someone with a lot of flaws, you will repeat those flaws.

Trace to learn, not to earn. Trace photography and art from anyone you want. Don't post it unless you have the artist's permission or they are dead, whichever comes first. This is strictly work for yourself, on yourself. It's not about the finished drawing.

Find an artist with a fun style and try converting stuff into their style. Don't make that your new style though and especially don't start selling it. Your style is a chimera of everyone you love, not a clone of one person.

Take blurry photos. You don't need a fancy camera or good skills or beautiful subjects. Doing studies from your own photos can spark life into your workflow.

Make challenges for yourself. Randomly generate things to combine. Try fusing characters! Don't try to make it look good, just be fun.

Doodle patterns, swirls, lines, random stuff. Try looking up art warmups and doing some of those.

- Everything Sucks

You finally see how bad you are. Or somehow you got worse. Every piece is a fight and you spend hours trying to get something right only for it to be stiff and disgusting and STILL wrong.

Why are you trying to draw good? It's enough just to draw.

Accept that your art is bad. Every artist can see flaws in their work. Your problem is that those flaws outweigh anything remotely worthwhile and hurt to look at.

So what? You're in a period of growth, not a period of production. Keep that wonky second eye. Let them have hot dog fingers.

Show everyone! Show no one! No piece of art can ever be a reflection of the artist. Not their worth, not their skill. The only thing your art says about you is "Held and moved a pen for a bit."

Make bad art. It's ok. Most of the time, the pressure to perform and get things Right is what made them wrong in the first place. Relax.

- No Motivation

The #1 killer of artists everywhere. On some level you think you should draw, on every other level you think you should stay in bed.

You are not lazy. You wouldn't have read this far in a post about art block if you were lazy. You wouldn't CALL it art block if you were lazy. Laziness is wishing you didn't have to do anything. A block is wishing you were doing something. If you think you can namecall Yourself into productivity again, you're wrong and You need to unionize so that you don't treat You like that anymore.

Consider Mental Illness. Losing interest in something that brought you joy can be a symptom of depression. I know it seems obvious, but if you're waiting for a sign that it's "bad enough," it's bad enough. Seek care if you have the means. Forgive yourself if you already know this.

Selfcare. Examine yourself for neglect. Nutrition, exercise, enrichment, social need, and sleep are all part of the art process. Eat three meals and sleep 8 hours. That's your gaymer fuel. You deserve it, I promise. Depriving yourself of your needs will make your blocks worse, not kick you into making them better.

Identify potholes. Sketchbook falling apart? Tablet cord frayed? Half your pencils missing? Chair uncomfortable? Desk hard to reach? There's a lot of things that you tell yourself to work around and get over. Just because you CAN workaround something, doesn't mean you SHOULD. A difficult work environment can cause secret dread deep inside that you don't recognize and just think you're lazy. What you think of as "no motivation" might actually be "I don't want to deal with my tablet disconnecting every time I move it wrong and I have to wiggle it for a few seconds to make it work again." These little things are like potholes in the road. Sure you CAN still drive through them, but eventually you're going to look up and realize you haven't voluntarily left the house in weeks.

Repair potholes and roadblocks. You might feel bad about buying a new pencil, headphones, tablet, car, etc because technically the old one works if you hustle. But if you're running into so many potholes you've ground to a halt, it doesn't Actually work anymore, does it? Invest, save up, request, and require working equipment and suitable conditions. This stuff isn't just cushy privilege, it's an investment in yourself and your art. You are worth the effort it takes to clear the way. If you can't afford reliable (reliable! not perfect or luxurious) equipment, then say it. If cardboard is all you can afford, draw on cardboard. But know that you deserve canvas, and one day you might be able to make the jump. Acknowledge that sometimes, if you don't have it in you to smear burned twigs on wet cardboard, the problem isn't motivation, but opportunity.

- Haven't Drawn in So Long

A unique type of art block that self perpetuates. The thought of starting again is so stressful you can't do it. Or maybe you'll do it tomorrow. Yeah. Tomorrow for sure.

Face your fears. Are you ashamed of your lack of drawing? Are you anthropomorphizing your paper and thinking it's going to judge you, like "oh NOW you come back >:/" I internalize voices I hear and project them onto other people, concepts, locations, and inanimate objects. Your paper, computer, WIPs folder.... none of that is judging you.

Reframe your WIPs. Do you feel shame when you see "unfinished" projects? Why? Who says you MUST bring everything you start to Finish? You don't have to. A sketch is a finished art piece; it's called a sketch! If a sketch is a fully realized creation, pages that are half colored, 75% lined, or partially rendered are all fully realized creations too. Unless paid otherwise, art is done when you're done working on it.

Lower the stakes. Draw a chibi or grab some crayons. Get messy and slowly ease yourself back into the flow over the course of a couple days. It's fine.

Get a buddy! Find an art meme, do an art trade, get a study subject, or just wing it. Drawing art alongside someone can help you get past that block.

Pretend you never stopped. Don't think about the gap, how long it's been, or rustiness. As far as anyone knows, you drew the mona lisa yesterday and didn't break a sweat. Today, you drew a starfish on your hand with a gel pen. Keep up that streak, good job!

Just keep drawing. Make a goal to do one sucky drawing per day on the back of a napkin. Don't make up for missed days, just pretend they didn't happen. Who's going to judge you? The calendar? That's pieces of paper; it doesn't have an opinion. Draw a cat on it. Done. Keeping up the momentum is a great way to prevent art blocks in the future.

TLDR: Draw imperfectly and toss it. Selfcare is king. Draw often and don't judge yourself.

Art is a process, not a product.

[hbprophetie]

"Lilies bloom first in the garden where ghosts appear often" - poem, Gôto Takashi.

Each night, there is this weird boy wearing an Oni mask, wandering in the scarlet bloomed fields like a drifting spirit. I won't be able to tell if he's an actual purifier or a demon himself. Not very tchaty, this boy is.

Inktober Day 1: "Gargoyle" 🎐

I'm back from the deads to try, this year again, to accomplish the Inktober challenge for the second time in a row...!

"Wait - why is the prompt of today "Gargoyle"? That's not Snapetober!" Arg, that is not indeed, and that's pretty unfortunate.

For that there is two reasons, so let me explain. Sadly, the Snapetober prompts arrived a bit late and until yesterday I was so convinced that there will be no Snapetober 2022 that I had already sketched my first entries...based on the official Inktober prompt list. The second reason is that for the time being, I don't feel like drawing angsty things, so the official list fits to my current mood better. For the time being, I'll stick to those prompts, so sorry if some of you are disappointed.

To be honest, I'm pretty anxious to post my new drawings as I basically want to try something I haven't posted a lot on my blog before: cute, chibi like Snapes. I really hope you will like this new approach, cause despite I drew some like those in the past I decided to not post them here cause I was affraid the style would rebuke some of you.

For this first entry, I was inspired by Japanese traditionnal costumes and Sev wears a "Oni" (litteraly "Demon") mask and horns. I thought it would fit the prompt "Gargoyle" just fine, as the mask has a pretty intimidating look. On his kimono you may reconize a pattern of "red spider lilies", a lily representing separation and grief. Lately, those have bloomed in Japanese fields and I've had the chance to be able to observe them myself.

I moved from France and now I've been living in Japan for one month, in order to continue my language studies abroad. That's a wonderful experience that I've been aiming for since childhood, and there is great chances my current environnement will influence the tone and imagery of my drawings. I truly hope you'll be ok with it. Anyway.

I'll do my best for this challenge this year again, hoping that I'll be able to go as far as possible! I don't have the best of equipement of course so please be forgiving with the "scan" quality. I'm honestly not sure that I'll be able to do 31 drawings, what sounds completely insane to me as the 16 drawings of last year already were my biggest drawing achievements.

Please, don't hesitate to give me your thoughts! 🍂

I apologize for the long time where I didn't post anything, I was pretty busy before moving to Japan, but I've missed exchanges with the community a lot.

Deeply hope you'll enjoy! ~

(And big Good Luck to all the artists who will try to take part in the challenge!)

[popsbridgerton]

Coming home again - Chapter One - A.B.

First of all, thanks to all the 116 people who liked the prolog and to those who sent a comment or a message or reblogged it. This means so much to me. Getting over 100 always feels amazing. So thanks to each and everyone. 💕

In this Chapter you get a little bit more of Benedict than of Anthony but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Feedback is always appreciated, doesn’t matter if it’s just a little note or even just one word I’d love to know what you think - even if it’s bad. Don’t hesitate and fire away. 😊

Words: 1300+ Note: Hadn’t proof read it yet, so sorry for any mistakes.

Summary: It’s the first morning after you arrived. Benedict who wasn’t there at the evening is extremely happy to see you and can’t let the opportunity to make his brother jealous slip away.

Prolog

The next morning arrived and your abigail helped you to get dressed and prepared you for breakfast. The day before were much more exhausted than you thought it would. You had an amazing dinner with the Bridgertons and then you all talked and enjoyed each other’s company while you remembered old stories. So, it came, that you were the last one to arrive at the room this morning, while all Bridgertons and your mother already sat on little sofas and chatted to each other or did some handwork or other stuff while they drunk tea and ate cookies.

“Good morning.” You half shouted when you arrived at the room and looked through it, smiling at everybody and when your gaze met your mothers you nodded shortly. “Y/N!” Benedict shouted and jumped up from his little sofa to come to you, arms wide open to hug you right when he would be close enough to you. “Ben!” You returned and looked at him, a big smile on your face, since it was to first time you saw him. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here, yesterday. But I had some plans I couldn’t cancel.” He said and pressed you softly against his chest. “I heard about that. Some kind of exhibition?” You asked when you moved back again. Benedict raised an eyebrow and tilted his head before he nodded. “Yeah, some kind of exhibition.” He said and turned half around to look at Anthony who sat in his sofa but looked down immediately when Benedict had moved and pretended not to know anything. His legs were crossed over each other and his upper foot was bobbing.

You and Benedict went back to the sofa he had jumped off, but he sat down next to Anthony and you sat down on the empty sofa at the opposite, he had sitting on before. Anthony looked up from his newspaper and smiled at you, which you returned and then he got back to reading, while Benedict looked excited at you. He couldn’t wait to hear what you were going to tell him. Indeed, you had been best friends with Anthony when you were small. But also, you and Benedict were at the same age, so he spent most of the with you two as well and you became somehow a gang of three. You always being closer and more personal with Anthony while making fun and enjoying things was always easier with Benedict.

You poured yourself some tee and took one of the cookies before you looked up at him and smiling and raising a brow as if you would like to ask what he would like to know. “Tell me everything!” He said and placed his arms on his tights. You looked at him in surprise and took a sip of your hot tea. “Everything?” You asked back and placed the cup back on the table. “That’s quite a lot, Benedict.” You finished with a small grin on your lips. “What if we start with you, telling me how the exhibition was and how your drawing is going?” You raised a brow again and smiled at him, moving back to lean against the pillows. Anthony looked up from his newspaper again to see Benedicts reaction, but his brother only leaned back as well and pursed his lips.

“Well,” he started, and Anthony looked back to his newspaper, but you were sure he was listening. “it was good. I had some very interesting talks. It was very inspiring as well. I could talk to some Artists and they gave me some to tips how I could work on my lines.” He stopped and thought about what else he could tell he. “So that’s how drawing is going. I have to improve on my lines.” He finished his words with a little nod while he still looked at you. You were about to bite into your cookie, but you stopped. “Can I see them?” You asked and moved the cookie back down. “He never shows anybody.” Anthony stated, still looking t the newspaper in his hands. “Well then,” you returned. “It might be a perfect opportunity to make your brother jealous.” You tilted your head looking from Anthony to Benedict with a look on your face that supported your words. A little “pha” escaped Anthony’s lips like he would like to say that Benedict could never made him jealous but all of you knew that he could and since Benedict loved to play little games on his older brother he smiled and tilted his head. “Seems like it is, indeed.” And with these words he grabbed a little sketch book that was laying on a table next to him and moved over to you to sit next to you. When Anthony realized that Benedict stood up, his look moved up as well, while his eyes became darker. Benedict would show you his drawings and it made him jealous indeed. It didn’t bother him, that you would see what Benedict drew and he would not. He didn’t care much about his brother’s drawings. It bothered him that Benedict did something for you, he never did for anybody else. As if you had wrapped him around you little finger and worse you enjoyed it.

You and Benedict instead got a little closer together so you could see the drawings in his sketch book, and you were starting to talk about his lines and the things he drew. Anthony stared at you for a little longer, his eyes getting darker and his features getting more furious but then he covered his face with the newspaper and read the lines without knowing what he was reading. His ears still tried to hear what you and his brother were talking.

“That’s it.” Benedict said after a little time and clapped the papers of his sketch book together. “So, Miss Winterbottom, what’s your passion?” He asked and turned his head to face you. “My passion?” You repeated the question again and titled your head while you were looking at him. A small smile started to play around your lips. “My passion is fashion.” You said like a little melody and Benedicts brows went up while he still smiled as well. “Your passion is fashion?” He asked and repeated the melody you were using before. “Indeed, my passion is fashion.” You repeated again with the same melody and giggled a little. This was always the two of you. Making fun of the smallest, tiniest things and enjoying them so long until everybody else is annoyed as hell. And indeed, you could hear Anthony groaning when Benedict again with the same melody said, “How interesting that your passion is fashion.”

The two of you turned your heads to look at the eldest Bridgerton sibling, you both know how he had rolled his eyes on you. “Oh, come on, Lord Bridgerton” you said, emphasizing the ‘Lord Bridgerton’ as if he was something better than you. “Had you ever had pleasure to have a passion.” You raised a brow while he continued to pretend reading the newspaper. Benedict shook his head for this brother. “No, Lord Bridgerton” and he emphasized his brothers title in the same way you did before. “had never had the pleasure to have a passion. He doesn’t even know what passion is. He’s always too busy and important to enjoy things.”

The newspaper was moved down in a quick move that it made a loud sound. Anthonys features were dark and almost frightening. “Enough!” He said and looked at Benedict, who you thought, leaned a little deeper into the sofa as if he wanted to disappear. Anthony folded the newspaper and laid it on the table next to the sofa, stood up and rushed out of the room. You and Benedict watched him go, both a little shocked because of what just happened.  You were making fun not more, not less. “Seems like Lord Bridgerton really doesn’t know how fun looks like.” You rolled your eyes and looked at Benedict who sighed. “He did never.”

_

Hope you liked it if you did so, leave some feedback or reblog, please. If you like to be tagged please head over to this post.  😊

Chapter two